#it juST CREAKED AGAIN AAAAAAHHH

[still-gathering-roses]

woke up 30 min before my alarm this morning to find that the tooth pain i was dreaming about was, in fact, real and i had somehow tightly clenched my jaw in just the right way to put excessive pressure solely on my one tooth that already has a chip in it and i'm already constantly worrying about its structural integrity aaaaAAAAA

anyways it's been super sensitive all day and i've been worrying about it just shattering completely (irrational) until i realized that the terrifying occasional creaks i was feeling were NOT hairline fractures spreading but were instead a slight looseness in the gum that will surely/hopefully heal with time. i think

[yellowsugarwords]

Aaaaaahhh thank you. I love your writing so much and was wondering if you could write for a trans ftm reader in a relationship with Louis? Like how he does out to Louis and how Louis helps him out when he has his dysphoric days? Thank you so much again and your writing inspires me sooo much!!

I want to start this off by saying that I’m not trans and therefore don’t have a first-hand account of what being trans or having gender dysphoria is like, but I’m going to try my best ❤️

I’ll probably make this slightly short because of that :)

“I can’t get out of bed today.”

Louis, scratching the back of his head as he admired their room, turned confused to face Y/N still in bed. “Why?”

“I can’t.” Their voice cracked, something snapping within them.

Louis grew solemn, suddenly aware of what was at hand.

His heart fell.

It was one of those days.

“Hey, hey,” he knelt beside the bed, brushing the hair out of their face. “It’s okay.”

Y/N sighed. “I can’t look at me today.”

“It’s okay, I get it.” He said softly, offering a faint smile.

Y/N just frowned.

Louis understood.

He wasn’t expecting anything when he offered his smile.

“I’m sorry,”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Louis said softly. “It’s just a day. It’s okay to have these days.”

“I just can’t–”

Louis sat patiently, not pushing them to finish. Y/N was thankful.

“I can’t do my chores today.”

“That’s okay.”

“I can’t move equipment or go hunting or cook.”

“Hey, hey,” Louis breathed, turning their chin to look at him. “It’s okay. Just stay nuzzled up and warm today, okay? Rest.”

Transitioning in the midst of the apocalypse was the worst.

The worst part about Y/N was their chest.

They hated not having a binder.

They had lost in during their last move. From where they had been staying before to Ericson.

It was a sudden move, evicted thanks to walkers, and their binder had been left there.

Y/N listened to Louis.

They napped all day.

It was the only way to get out of their own head.

They woke up to the door creaking open.

It was Louis.

“You’re back early.” Y/N mumbled from bed.

Louis seemed tired. Overworked.

Y/N could see it in his eyes.

“I’m taking a break,” he said, cracking open a water bottle and holding it out to Y/N.

They raised an eyebrow.

“Please,” he begged. “Have something.”

Y/N caved and sat up, the covers still wrapping their body, and took a sip.

Louis, from his pocket, ripped out three granola bars.

Y/N’s shoulders fell. “Louis–”

“You don’t need to eat them now,” he said, standing. “But they’re here in case you get hungry. I know you don’t like eating on these days.”

Y/N stood silent, staring at the food on the desk.

“They’re just in case you need them.”

Louis left a kiss on their forehead before leaving.

Y/N could hear Louis below their window.

He was chopping firewood.

That was supposed to be Y/N’s job.

They went back to sleep.

Louis came to check on Y/N later in the day.

They were still sleeping.

One of the granola bars was gone.

Louis smiled and left.

Y/N appeared at dinner.

They were wearing baggy jeans and a baggy sweater. They wanted to hide as much as possible.

Everyone else knew it was a day too.

“Hey, Y/N!” Ruby said sweetly. “We poured up a bowl for you.”

“Thanks.” They said.

Louis sat beside Y/N.

He placed a hand on their back.

Y/N found it comforting in the weirdest way.

Louis walked them back to bed after dinner.

“I’m so proud of you.” He said, helping them into bed.

Y/N scoffed. “Why? I did nothing today.”

“You existed.” Louis said. “You came to dinner. You ate a little. You had some water.”

Y/N stared at him as he spoke.

“Those are all things I have every right to be proud of.”

Y/N stood silent, admiring him.

Y/N lunged out of bed and kissed him.

They loved him.

They were lucky.