#it just fucks them over less and differently

[chiscaralight]

being roommates with kinich!! but you swear he hates you. he’s such pretty thing! but he almost never talks to you. he’ll do all the dishes, take out and fold your laundry and leave it on top of the washer dryer for you, he’ll clean when you’re not home and even leave food out for you when you get back late! but he just. won’t. speak to you!!!

and it’s driving you insane. you just want to get to know him! he’s gorgeous and he seems really sweet. he’s also built just the way you like. slender and toned, with the strongest gaze you’ve ever felt. is it so much to want to talk (and maybe fuck) your absolutely perfect roommate?

it’s driving you insane! so insane, that you start to miss when certain articles of clothes don’t come back from the laundry you pick up on top of the machine. maybe you didn’t actually put those panties in the bin this time, but who cares? kinich is shirtless while he does dishes this time, it’s the exact moment you need to pretend to watch something on tv!

and your sideward glances are not as slick as you think they are, because he knows exactly what you’re doing. it’s a ring from the doorbell that has you rolling your eyes, going to see who’s disturbing your peace while he licks the fork you used to eat the food he cooked a few hours ago. by the time you return, he’s already done, wiping down the counter and making his way back to his room wordlessly. you sigh in exasperation, you didn’t even get time to think about what fake story you could cook up to get him to talk to you! but as you groan at your misfortune in the living room, his fingers are wrapped hard around his cock, nose pressed into the underwear he’s stolen from you this time. It doesn’t take long before he’s making a mess around his hand, traces of your scent flooding his senses. but this pair is starting to lose its smell and he’s getting more and more fed up. how much longer can he keep this up before he breaks?

for you, it’s not much longer, because your fingers are deep in your cunt, thrusting in and out while you try to silence your sounds. you can’t even help the way his name slips from your mouth, you can’t even control it! it’s not your fault he’s been all over your mind for the past few weeks, at work, in classes, in the shower, it’s just too much for you!

and maybe you were just a bit louder than you expected, because your door is cracking open a few moments later, the afformentionef problem staring down at you ask you freeze up. he’s still deathly quiet as always, but he's practically jumping for joy in his mind. this is like a dream come true? you’ve basically been served to him on a silver platter, and he’ll make sure to not waste a single bite.

maybe a bit too literally, because your neck and chest are covered with love bites from his lips. one hand is holding one of yours above your head, the other very slowly brushing against your clit, big difference in the way he’s absolutely drilling into you. and you swear your seeing stars, moans morphing into cries as he angles up just the slightest bit, cock prodding against the walls of your cunt. it’s almost like magic, the way you feel. and he’s much less quiet now, because once his lips are on yours, he’s groaning into your mouth, teeth clashing with yours as he drags his lips downwards to sink his teeth into your skin again.

his build isn’t just for show either, because he’s flipping you over with such ease, holding your hips just where he needs them to be as he bullies his cock right back in.

kinich who now realizes how much power he holds over you, because whenever he even just as much passes by you, he can see your body tense up just the slightest bit. and he used it to his advantage! riling you up throughout the days with weird looks and soft touches, before ultimately deciding to bend you over the counter because he misses that cunt so much already </3

he’ll leave the door unlocked when he gets back, settling on the couch with speed so he can drag you onto his lap and have you ride him because it’s all he could think about in his classes.

and kinich that will beg you to let him cum in that sweet pussy just once, but between the two of you oh both know he’s lying. he’ll keep fucking his cum into you over and over, until he’s cumming inside you once again. he just can’t help it! you’re sucking him in so good like this, what did you expect him to do.

just like the way he took care of the little things, when you’re spent, on the verge of passing out on his cock, he’ll scoop you up and take you to his room, cleaning you up and wrapping you in his blankets so he can stay with you the entire night.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

just a thought !! but what do u think ‘suki would do if he accidentally hurt reader ? like an elbow to the nose or smth , bc i kid u not that happened with my bf today and he would not leave until i told him i was fine 😭 js thought that katsu wld be an internal emotion wreck ??!

wait i love this omg😭😭tysm for the ask anon this is so cute, your boyfriend sounds like a sweetheart !

your nose stings.

you don’t really know how it happened, but you ended up getting decked in the nose by your boyfriend. accidentally, of course, said boyfriend would rip his own nails of before even thinking of hurting you. however, said boyfriend was also built out of fucking marble.

so it wouldn’t be surprising to say your nose hurt like a bitch.

“ow, ow, ow !” you whine, katsuki channels through confusion, realization and utter fear in about a millisecond. his hands smack against your face.

“holy—shit ! what the fuck’re y’doin’ ?!” his eyes scan all over your face like he’d shot you, and it honestly almost felt like he did. his hands grip at your cheeks. you wince when he presses his thumb to your nose. “ow—i was jus’ g’nna surprise you—ouch, katsuki !”

you pull your face out of his grip but he pulls you back, “stop squirmin’ an’ let me see.” he mumbles quietly, eyebrows furrowed hard. in focus or anger or worry but probably a mix of all three if you knew anything about him.

“holy fuck, why were you sneakin’ around like that, dummy..” you want to roll your eyes about him still trying to scold you, but the tone of his voice is different then when he usually does. he does sound genuinely worried so you want to reassure him.

“i was just trying to say hello.” you reiterate. “suki, i’m fine. it’s already starting to hurt less.” he ignores you and continues to inspect your face.

“nothin’ broken..” he mumbles to himself, thumbing at your nose a bit softer this time. you manage a snort.

“of course not, jesus, katsuki—”

“you’re okay, yeah ?”

“yes !” you giggle, gripping at his wrists. he pouts, studying your face. “it’s already starting to hurt less.”

he frowns even harder “i elbowed the shit outta you.”

“by accident.” you correct, “katsuki, it’s fine.”

“..you’re sure.”

“i’m sure.” you nod, smiling at him to reinforce your point. he squints, then sighs loudly. leaning in to kiss the bridge of your nose, copying the get better kisses you jokingly give him that he always scoffs at but insist you give him without fault. it hurts a bit, but you feel giddy anyway, your smile grows wider.

“don’t sneak up on me like that again, dummy.” he insists “i mean it.”

you cross your fingers together “promise.” you hum, he scoffs, you don’t think he can muster up a roll of his eyes right now since he can’t seem to be able of taking them away from you. he runs his thumb over your forehead.

“if it starts hurting or something, you tell me.”

“katsuki !” you groan, laughing. katsuki doesn’t look amused. not at all.

he growls “oi, i mean it.”

“i got it, i told you i am fine. you’re okay.” it seems that was the reassurance he needed. that you weren’t mad at him to boot. he exhales, shoulders dropping the slightest bit.

“…...you’re positive ?”

“katsuki, i swear to god—”

[ghouldtime]

Mean König this, loser König that blah blah blah

How about instead König being the introvert he is with weirdly specific hobbies to match. I'm thoroughly convinced this guy has an army of miniatures (which he all HAND PAINTED, thank you very much).

How about König being frugal and reusing a lot of things or DIY'ing them himself. Things are always too expensive these days and why on earth would he buy a new one when he has one he picked up years ago that works just fine?? C'mon, he made a mask out of a t-shirt, can't convince me that's the only thing he's reused or repurposed.

He's not a gross, disgusting pervert who snorkels with the sludges of humanity in the bottom of the degenerate barrel. [Going to go on the record to say write what you want, that's your choice. But at the same time, it's my choice to say: Genuinely, what the fuck to a LOT of what I've seen in the König tag]

He's also not an UWU shy guy who cries because you took his mask off. Please, his voice lines are so cocky, he's not going to sob and cower because some jackass tried harassing him these days. He's a damn good solider, he's proud of it, he knows it and knows how to use it

Still going to call him baby girl, doesn't make him any less of one, he's just not a wimp with no backbone who crumples into a heap because someone mildly made fun of him. He breaks backs, I'm sure he's kept at least a spine of his own (at least as a souvenir)

Social anxiety doesn't always mean being ridiculously sensitive and the lack of research put into it when it comes to writing König realllllly shows. Proper representation matters and when it's reduced to being a stuttering, co-dependent mess who can barely function on their own and is just overly clinging, it's not cute - it's hurting the narrative around it and further perpetuating untrue and negative stereotypes.

Social anxiety means many different things to many different people and shows itself in so so many ways. No two people experience it or feel it the exact same way, but it's helping NO ONE when you're ignoring blatant characterization of it and how it presents for someone to change it so you can meld them into a stereotypical box

Rant over, I just love König so much (he was my initial draw to this whole fandom) and hate seeing what's done to him in some really, REALLY deplorable extremes

Going to probably write a König reader insert at some point out of spite alone at this rate

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Fall mansion rambles

I'm just in a fall mood today so I wanted to do some fall-themed rambles because listen, listen, I feel like everyone in the mansion fucking loves fall.

They play different music year-round, and I feel like Liu as the resident jazz lover breaks out his jazz records and just plays them for everyone to hear and it sets the MOOD. The mansion feels so much cozier with the sound of Autumn jazz drifting through it, and it puts everyone at ease.

Then, the DECORATING. They go all out in the mansion for Halloween, and they do a mix of general fall decorations and Halloween decorations, everyone decorating the outside and inside of the mansion until they pretty much run out of decorations. Also, they totally have that one decoration from Target that says "I am Lewis" and he's right at the entrance of the mansion, I will not hear otherwise.

Tim and Slender really break into their fall baking, constantly making new pies and cookies for everyone to eat, and they get devoured. The two of them bake so many fucking pumpkin pies from September to the end of November that it's ridiculous, but every single one is eaten in like a day or two with how many people are in the mansion. I feel like Tim is the drink maker for everyone, and he's always making fresh hot cocoa or something that is pumpkin spice flavored for everyone to enjoy, and it just sets the mood so well. They light the fireplace and just all gather around it eating pumpkin pie and their respective hot drinks and it's the best vibe ever.

Speaking of pumpkins, by the way, DECORATING THEM! I feel like Helen helps everyone every year carve or paint their own pumpkins if they need help, and he supplies all of the tools for it. Slender takes them all to a huge pumpkin patch and lets every single creep pick out a pumpkin or two that they really want and they all have a good time running through the pumpkin fields. I can just see them all sitting together at Slender's long ass dining table, every creep making their own pumpkin. I think they would all be set out on the porch, all stacked together and placed wherever anyone wants theirs to be, and if any of them start rotting they'll make another one to replace it. I feel like Toby gets the most excited about carving and painting pumpkins and I can see him decorating at least like 10 of them by the time Halloween rolls around. If he could he'd do more than that but I feel like he tries not to go too overboard.

Then all the talk of who's dressing up for Halloween, and what everyone is going to be going as. I feel like I could see Trender stopping by and literally offering to make everyone's costumes for them like it's a yearly tradition for him to just show up randomly with a fuck ton of supplies, and I can see Jason pitching in and helping too. The two of them just spend their free time customizing everyone's costumes exactly how they want them, talking and chatting over some tea and the piles of fabric in front of them.

I don't know why specifically, but I just get the vibe that fall into winter is the happiest time of the year in the mansion as a whole, not that they don't have spring and summer joyful times, but I just feel like the vibes are so good that everyone is more relaxed. They're all calm and at peace and content, with less fighting, less sadness, just wonderfully calm cool fall times.

[badkitty3000]

can u write a five x reader smut where five makes the reader watch him jerk off before fucking them

This request has been in my inbox for a LONG time...sorry. I set this during season four, and it's mixed with my usual sense of humor and confidently sexy Five 😉

Forced Confinement: Friends to Enemies to Lovers

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 5.7k words, one-shot, reader request

Warnings: Smut, explicit sex, masturbation

Summary: You and Five used to be friends. That is, until he got you stuck in the endless cycle of time traveling trains and no way home. Now he is the last person you want to be stuck with at the end of the world. But, after months of resentment and bickering, you and Five finally work out your differences

It had been eleven months. Eleven months since you and Five had taken that stupid fucking train to nowhere. Why you had let him talk you into going with him, you had no idea. You had been friends and you trusted him, sure, but that didn’t mean you wanted to skip out on the real world forever and live in captive domesticity for the rest of your life. You had wanted adventure and danger, which always seemed to follow Five wherever he went. But that’s not what this turned into. This had turned into playing house.

After nine months of mindless travel to various timelines that just seemed to get worse and worse, you were about ready to kill one another. The passive aggressive arguing had gradually turned into bickering, which then turned into outright shouting matches. You wanted to go home, god dammit! You didn’t care that time travel was tricky or unpredictable. He had gotten you into this mess and you demanded that he get you out of it.

To get you to shut up, Five had presented you with a temporary solution. When you came across a mostly still standing house with a greenhouse and clean water, he begrudgingly suggested that you two stay there for a few days. Just to relax, wash up a bit, and gather some food. It would also grant him some time to think about how to navigate this situation you were in. You had agreed, although you had scoped the crappy house out first to determine if there were separate living quarters. There was only one real bedroom, but Five conceded it to you and said he would take the living room floor.

A few days had turned into two months.

You knew he was trying his best. You knew that. And you knew he certainly had never meant to get you stuck in this endless loop of time travel fuckery. He had only been trying to save the world. Again. Only this time, he wanted company. And since you and he had become friends over the course of the five years you had been serving him large quantities of whiskey and beer at your bar, he had asked you.

It’s not that you were best buddies or anything. You had never hung out outside of the bar. But he was a frequent enough customer that you and he had a good rapport. You were comfortable around each other, which you had noticed for Five, was kind of a big deal. And maybe you were a little flirty with one another as well. Not that anything had ever happened between you, but the tension had been there.

So, when Five had come stumbling in one night, seemingly already drunk, and had plopped down on a barstool in front of you with a smart-ass grin on his face, you were intrigued. After a very confusing and convoluted story about something called “marigold” and Five having the power to teleport and time travel, you were already hooked.

How many times had you dreamed of doing something amazing? Something so incredibly exciting and weird that when you told your friends all about it later, they wouldn’t believe you? It was just one of those silly fantasies that never left your head. But the longer you ran that bar, and the more comfortable you got pouring shots and mixing drinks for others, the less likely it became that your fantasy would ever be realized.

But time traveling subway trains and teleportation powers? It was everything you had been waiting for! When he told you his idea of trying to get to the correct timeline and stop another apocalypse from happening, you barely even hesitated.

In those first couple of months, you didn’t really mind being lost with no real way to get back home. It was still exciting and you were getting along great back then. He confided in you; told you he had asked you along because you were his only real friend and he just didn’t want to face the unknown alone again. He had apologized when it became clear he was just as lost as you were, and he promised to get you back safely. You made each other laugh, and invented stupid games to kill the boredom, and would cuddle up together on cold nights even though there was nothing romantic going on. Those were the good times.

But now…now, it was like the two of you were living in some bad sitcom with no laugh track. Five was still good looking, there was no getting around that. Even when he was grubby and dirty and his deodorant gave out months ago. Yes, he was hot, you could admit that. But that wasn’t quite enough to cover the fact that he was an arrogant, know-it-all asshole that was systematically ruining your life. You missed your bed. And your bar. And god, what you wouldn’t do for some fucking fast food. You had dreams about McDonald’s French fries and if Ronald McDonald himself had come walking up to you and told you he’d give you a Big Mac if you sucked his dick, you’d be on your knees in a second. That’s what this had come to; you would blow a clown for a hamburger.

Instead, here you were, in some bullshit little Hobbit house, listening to Five’s snoring from the other room. And if you had to eat another fucking strawberry, you were going to vomit. You would rather eat a dozen half-cooked subway rats than choke down another one of those god damn red berries. Sometimes you laid awake at night, envisioning Five choking on one, his eyes bulging as he panicked and tried unsuccessfully to get air through his blocked trachea. It brought a small amount of comfort to you. Until the morning, when you walked out and saw there were no animals in your traps, and you wanted to cry. No meat. Only fucking strawberries.

“We need more water,” you told him as you came out of the green house where the first few sprouts of cucumbers and green beans were finally starting to come through.

“So? Go get some, then,” Five muttered back at you, his head buried in a notebook while he sat at the wobbly kitchen table.

“No. I’m always the one that has to go get the water. It’s your turn.”

Five glanced up briefly, then looked back down at his incoherent scribblings. “I’m busy.”

“You’re busy?” you asked incredulously. “How the fuck is making little pictures in a book busy?”

He looked up again, his worn-down pencil paused in midair. His eyes narrowed. “They are not little pictures. They are complex mathematical equations that your simpleton mind cannot possibly understand.”

You snorted. “Fuck you.”

One corner of his mouth turned up just slightly and he set his pencil down, leaning back in his chair and draping one arm over the back. Fuck, if he didn’t look amazingly hot like that. Asshole.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“What in the hell are you talking about?”

He scoffed. “Don’t play dumb. You’ve been eye-fucking me since we got here. Actually, since before we got here.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. “What the…are you delusional? Did you hit your head the last time you were out scavenging? I have, under no circumstances, been eye-fucking you.”

“Ok, sure…whatever you have to tell yourself.”

You placed a hand on your hip and tilted your head to the side. “If anyone is eye-fucking anyone, it’s you to me. I see the way you just so happen to look in my direction when I’m changing clothes.”

“If I do that, it’s only because I want to make sure you’re actually changing into something new instead of wearing that shitty old tank top that smells like dead rats.”

“That is my best tank top! And look who’s talking. Who wears a suit in a fucking apocalypse? It’s insane!”

“At least I don’t walk around with my tits half hanging out. I mean, fuck, those things are going to knock you out the next time you have to run from anything. It’s like you’re just begging for attention.”

You smiled. “Oh, I just bet you’d love to see me running with my tits hanging out, wouldn’t you? Probably play right into some weird-ass Baywatch fantasy you have.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart.” He tossed his head so that the piece of hair in his eyes flicked out of the way. “You are wearing the literal last pair of tits in the world right now and I wouldn’t care if you slathered them in baby oil and shoved them in my face.”

You watched as his eyes moved briefly to your chest before landing on your face again. You smirked. “Gosh, Five, you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course you don’t want anything do with these.” You ran your hands up your sides and rested them on your breasts. Then you began to rub them and squeeze them together, all while looking him directly in the eye. You gave a little moan and licked your lips. It was subtle, but you saw him swallow and shift in his seat.

Five rolled his eyes, but you could tell you had gotten to him. “While the tits themselves may be alluring, there is the unfortunate fact that they are attached to the body that is powered by your idiot brain. Therefore…not interested.”

You gave them another hard push together, and then let out a short laugh before dropping your hands. “That’s what I thought.”

“What did you think?”

“That you’re a dickless asshole”

Five flashed you that devious smile that you had come to associate with an unfortunate fluttering inside your stomach. “I’ll concede to being an asshole. But dickless? Quite the opposite, sweetheart.”

Your mouth went dry at that implication and you momentarily had a loss for words. After a couple of seconds, though, you regained your cool.

“As much as I’m sure you’d just love to whip out your little pickle dick right now, how about you get your scrawny ass up and go get us some water? Sweetheart.”

Five gave a short laugh. “And as much as I’m sure you’d love to be choking on my pickle right now, like I told you…” He pointed his pencil at the notebook. “I’m busy.”

Without another word, he lowered his head and started scribbling again, ignoring you completely. Your mouth opened in another retaliation, but then it snapped closed again. There was no point in continuing your little childish spat. Five was a stubborn old bastard and it was a waste of time. You might as well go get the damn water yourself.

Giving a loud, dramatic huff, you flipped your hair over your shoulder and stomped away. You did happen to notice, though, that Five looked up to watch you leave. So, as a final act of brattiness, just before you were out of sight, you made sure to bend over and act like you were tying your shoe while wiggling your ass in the air. Which, if Five had the oversized brain he was always saying he did, he would remember that your shoelaces had disintegrated a month ago.

As you angrily made your way to the old well that was your water source, you mumbled out loud to yourself.

“He thinks he’s so fucking smart. Well, he’s not. Just because you’re a smoking hot asshole does not mean you’re a genius, I guarantee you.”

You tripped over a rock and you cursed before continuing on. “And he is dreaming if he thinks I’m the one that wants to fuck him. Granted, it has been a long time since I got laid, but still. I think I can do better than Five Hargreeves, even if he is the last man on earth.”

You approached the old-fashioned well pump that was still in service and started pumping, much more vigorously than needed while you ranted to no one. “Honestly, he is so hard up for some ass, it’s embarrassingly obvious. But, good luck buddy, because that ain’t happening.”

You watched thoughtfully as the water slowly poured into the plastic bucket that served as your portable water reservoir. You stared into the distance; the landscape not quite as bleak as the others you had seen. This one at least had some trees and wildlife. “Still…I did see him shirtless that one time and I can’t seem to get that little image out of my brain. The guy has sex appeal, there’s no doubt about that. And I suppose he’s not all bad. He did let me take the bed, after all. He hasn’t even tried anything, either, which I suppose makes him kind of a gentleman.”

You gave the well a few more pumps to fill the last of the bucket. “But why hasn’t he tried anything? Maybe he doesn’t think I’m attractive? He said he likes women, though. I wonder if he jerks off when I’m not around?”

You smiled to yourself, feeling your chest tighten a little at the thought. “I guess I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t used him as motivation for my own hand-fucking. He might be annoying but I bet he can deliver in certain areas.” You paused a moment more and sighed angrily, looking toward the sky. “Damn it…now I’m horny!” The water started overflowing in the bucket and you realized you’d been pumping the well for too long, wasting your most precious resource.

“Shit!” You stared at the dusty ground that was now turning into a muddy puddle around your feet. “He doesn’t need to know about this, that’s for sure. I don’t need yet another lecture on water preservation.”

Hoisting up the bucket, and holding it against your chest because the handle had given out a week ago, you started back towards the house.

“I’m going insane,” you panted as you made your way up the slight incline. “It’s official; I’ve finally lost it. Stuck out here in the middle of nowhere and talking to myself. Cool.”

As you walked into the house, the water bucket was partially obstructing your view and it sloshed water down your front as you set it heavily down on the floor.

“There,” you declared, out of breath. “Here’s the water, no thanks to – Oh holy shit!”

When you had looked up, you had been assaulted with the sight of Five pleasuring himself right there in your cozy kitchen. You froze, taking in the sight, not able to look away. He was on full display, with the chair pushed out from the table, facing the doorway. His shirt was open, sleeves cuffed up, head thrown back, eyes closed, pants undone, and his cock in his hand. He was languidly stroking himself, appearing to not be in a hurry to finish the job, while he sat there with his legs spread open for all to see. Well, not all to see…just you.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry…shit…what are you? Ok, never mind, um…I’m gonna, yeah, just go…” you stammered while still staring directly at the obscenity before you.

You said you were going to go, but you were rooted to the spot. Eventually, after what seemed like an inordinate amount of time considering what was happening, Five opened his eyes and looked at you. No, not looked. Stared at you. Those bright green eyes bored into you and a small smirk played on his lips.

Still panicking, but also confused as to the very real sensation of moisture not caused by the bucket of water forming between your legs, you abruptly turned to leave.

“Stop.”

Five’s voice was different than usual. Harder. Commanding. And you inexplicably stopped in your tracks.

“Turn around.”

You obeyed and slowly spun around, nervous as to what you might see, or have him see. You were sure the look on your face would give you away.

Five hadn’t moved. He was still stroking himself and he looked like he didn’t have one ounce of shame about it, either.

You swallowed hard. “What…”

“I decided after your little show earlier that I just couldn’t help myself. And now that you’ve got some wet t-shirt action going on, I’m going to need you to stay. I think you owe me that.”

Looking down at yourself, you saw that the spilled water had created a nearly see-through situation over your chest. Even your bra was soaked through, and your nipples were visible through the thin fabric. When you glanced back up, you bit at your lower lip. Despite the blush growing across your cheeks, you were intrigued with this new game.

“Owe you?” you asked, your voice cracking as you tried to keep your cool.

Five groaned quietly, picking up his pace and ignoring your question. “You really do have magnificent tits. Now, take that ratty ass top off.”

You couldn’t believe you were actually going along with his demands. You should be telling him to fuck off and throwing the nearest heavy object toward his head. Instead, you found yourself holding his eye contact while you slowly stripped your wet shirt away and dropped it onto the floor.

There was another deep moan from Five as he worked his shaft over with his whole hand, his breathing becoming louder.

“Bra,” he rasped.

As you unhooked your bra and let it fall on top of your shirt, you smiled at his reaction.

“Fuck honey…I’ve been dreaming about these tits for so long and they do not disappoint.” He groaned low in his throat again. “Perfect.”

You eyed him up and down, taking in the detail of his cock as his fist slid easily over it. It was most definitely impressive. Much more than you had imagined and you found yourself running your tongue over your bottom lip involuntarily.

“Shit, Five…I guess you weren’t kidding. Definitely not dickless.”

“You like what you see?” he asked, looking out under the pieces of hair that had flopped in front of his eyes.

You nodded, and then began to move closer in. “Yeah, I do.”

Five shook his head, pausing his fist fucking momentarily. “I don’t think so, honey. Not yet.”

“Not yet what?” you asked, thoroughly confused. Did he not want you to jump on top of him?

“I know you’re just dying for my cock to be buried deep inside you right now, but you’re going to have to wait. That’s your punishment.”

With your eyebrows drawn together, you suddenly felt very stupid standing there topless while he continued to jack off.

“What the hell…what do you mean? Punishment for what?”

“For walking around all bitchy and complaining about everything. All while throwing your body in my face and leaving me high and dry.”

“What!? You’re the one that has been the asshole –”

“Shut up, sweetheart. I don’t need to hear your mouth. I just need to look at you. Now drop your pants.”

It took a minute for your mind to comprehend just what the fuck was going on here. Five Hargreeves, your friend turned enemy turned…jack off partner?...was ordering you around like you were his own personal interactive porno mag. And you fucking liked it.

As you started unbuttoning your shorts, you gave him a lopsided smile. “So, how long have you been using me as your whack-a-thon inspiration?”

“I could ask you the same,” he snarked back before working just a little harder when your pants came off.

“Since about 3 months in,” you admitted with a shrug, pushing your panties all of the way off.

“Fuuuck,” Five groaned loudly, closing his eyes briefly before scanning your body hungrily. “I think I lasted 2 weeks.”

You laughed, leaning back against the table with your hands behind you as you pushed out your chest. When your eyes caught his again, you let out a soft whimper.

“Damnit…I really want to fuck you right now.”

“I know, darling,” he responded, his voice dripping with condescension. “You’ve made that quite obvious.”

Neither of you said anything more for a moment. The room was filled with the sound of your collective heavy breathing and the slapping noises as Five jacked himself hard and fast. You could see the beads of pre-cum forming around the head. On a whim, you decided to lean in, bending down with your mouth open and tongue out, to daintily lick up the tempting drops. Five growled and flung his head back again while you gave one more flick of your tongue over the slit and backed away again.

“Finger yourself,” he grunted out.

When you smirked, licking all four of your fingers before lowering them between your legs, the sound Five made, a shaking, guttural sound, had you thinking he was on the verge of blowing his load. But he only seemed to concentrate harder, working his fist over his thick shaft. You watched as his thumb traced the underside of his swollen tip, the veins that ran from top to bottom prominently on display. You had never really thought the sight of a man pleasuring himself in front of you would be that hot, but the wetness dripping out of you right now proved that maybe it just depended on the man.

Because watching Five unabashedly fuck himself; his left hand tight around his cock and his hips jerking up in response; the tendons in his forearm taught and straining; his hair hanging messily around his face, his eyes never leaving yours; had you more worked up than you had ever been in your life.

“Fuck, Five,” you moaned as your own hand began to move through your slick folds.

“Damn it, I’m going to come. On your knees,” he growled through clenched teeth.

You dropped down without a second thought, just blindly following his orders. Your hand was still working furiously, and you were unsure if he wanted you to suck his dick or not, so you just waited for further instructions. When he groaned loudly and shifted forward in the chair, his own hand moving fast, you realized what he was going to do.

“Don’t you dare come on my face,” you rasped out. You removed your fingers from yourself so that you could lean back, exposing your chest at a better angle.

With a strangled moan that sounded like some sort of wounded animal, Five bit at his bottom lip while he came; long ropes of cum covering your chest and dripping down your stomach as he unloaded onto you again and again. You watched his face as it contorted in orgasmic bliss before finally relaxing again, his hand slowing, and his body easing back into the chair.

“Fucking hell,” he whispered through heaving breaths; eyes still closed. “You have no idea how much I needed that.”

As you knelt before him, covered in his semen, and still horny, you frowned. “Good for you.”

When he opened his eyes, he had the nerve to laugh and he shook his head. “Give me a minute, ok? I might have a fairly quick refractory period, but it’s not immediate.”

“Hmm, yeah. Likely story,” you said under your breath, although your mouth twitched up with amusement as you stood up. “I’m going to use our most precious resource to wash up.”

“Use it sparingly,” Five reminded you.

“I think I’ll use as much as I want, considering it’s your cum that’s currently drying all over my tits right now.”

“Fair,” Five said with a breathy laugh.

After you found one of the clean rags that doubled as a washcloth, you dipped it in the bucket of cool water and started to wipe at your chest. Five watched you bend over, ringing out the cloth and letting the water run down your breasts and abdomen. His refractory period may not have been instant, but watching you like that was most definitely speeding the process along.

While you were enjoying giving him this show, what you really wanted was a little more satisfaction than just watching him jerking off. With your body as cum-free as it was going to be for the moment, you sauntered back over to Five who was still sitting in the same chair; pants open and semi-hard dick out. When you stood in front of him, he looked up at you through the fringe of hair covering his eyes, that damn smirk of his playing on his lips. Without even thinking, you hauled your right hand back and smacked him across the face.

As he raised a hand to his stinging cheek, he glared up at you. “What the hell was that for?”

With a smile, you straddled his lap, draping both arms over his shoulders and leaning in to kiss him. After biting at his bottom lip, you pulled back.

“That was for stranding me here in this hell hole.” You kissed him again, tugging hard at his hair at the back of his head. “And for being the world’s biggest prick.” Your groin slid over his hard cock and he grunted. “And for looking so fucking hot all the time.”

Five grabbed your chin in his hand, holding you steady as he gazed into your eyes; his deep green ones sparkling as that arrogant look crossed his face again. Gripping your ass tightly with both hands, Five stood up, taking you with him as he slammed your body down onto the rickety kitchen table. When your back hit the wooden top with a thud, the pedestal holding it up wobbled dangerously underneath. You huffed out a loud breath from the impact.

Standing between your legs that were still wrapped around his waist, Five reached down between you, grasping his hard cock and rubbing the tip against your clit. When you gave a tiny whimper, he nodded.

“I’m sorry I got you stuck here. And I’m working on being less of a prick. As for looking hot all the time? That I can’t help so much,” he said with a grin, continuing to massage your slit by running his dick up and down, spreading your wetness over both of you.

“Asshole,” you rasped after sucking in a loud gulp of air. Your hands clutched at the edge of the table and your hips rocked against him.

He shook his head, closing his eyes with a moan before locking onto yours again. “No. If I were an asshole, I would have done what I’ve been dying to do for months now.”

“Which is?”

“Sliding into bed with you in the middle of the night and waking you up with my dick shoved between your legs.”

Your head tipped back as you tried to push yourself harder into his cock that was continually sliding over you in just the right spot. “Oh shit, Five…I wish you would have.”

“You’d like that, huh?”

You nodded. “I’d still have kicked your ass, but not before I’d let you fuck my brains out.”

“How about I fuck your brains out now and we can discuss kicking my ass later?”

“Sounds good,” you breathed out.

Five used his hand to guide himself inside of you. Once the head of his cock was inside, he thrust himself into you, impaling you on his sizeable dick, and watching your face for your reaction.

“Oh god…” you cried, gritting your teeth against the intensity.

“You ok?” he asked as his hands traveled over your thighs, sides, and hips.

You nodded. “Yeah. Definitely ok. Fuck, that feels good.”

With a self-satisfied smirk, Five grabbed your ass tightly with both hands, squeezing each cheek hard and digging his fingers into your flesh. When he started to guide you by pushing and pulling you over his shaft, you let him take full control of your body. With your arms splayed to the sides and your head tipped back against the table top, you wanted him to break you down; strip you of your inhibitions, and make you his.

“Shit…” he hissed through his teeth. “I need…fuck…I need more of you.”

Without warning or consent, he pulled you roughly up by one hand before pulling out of you and yanking you off the table to standing again. Not sure what his game plan was, you just stood there until he stepped out of his pants that had dropped around his ankles, and held you tightly to him. With a long kiss that made you momentarily forget where you were, he pulled back again.

“Floor,” he gasped.

Despite having a perfectly good bed in the other room, you were thinking the same thing he was. There was no time for relocation. You needed him inside of you again. Immediately. Hands clutching at one another, you both clumsily dropped to the floor. There was a moment of ungraceful maneuvering while you hastily repositioned yourself, but once Five was on his back and you were mounting him again, his dick slid inside once more and you let out a high-pitched whine.

In between grunts and whimpers as you started to move your hips, you attacked his mouth, face, and neck with kisses. Eventually, one of his hands came to rest in your hair. When you looked him in the eyes, he was smiling. Not his normal, asshole smirk. An actual, affectionate smile.

“I’m not sure why we waited this long,” he said before kissing you deeply, while also bucking his hips up, driving his dick in harder.

“Because we hated one another,” you explained as he sucked kisses onto your neck.

“Not always…fuuckk…” he moaned when you slammed harder on top of him.

“I kind of don’t hate you now.”

Five laughed and squeezed one of your breasts in his hand, hard enough to make you hiss through your teeth.

“Five….” you whined.

“Keep fucking me, baby. Harder.”

You were fucking him as hard as you possibly could. So hard that you were seriously concerned about the health of your knees as they bore most of your weight and dug into the hard dirt floor of your crappy kitchen. But that didn’t stop you. Riding his dick like it was somehow essential to your existence, you had never wanted anyone more than you did right then. You couldn’t control the loud cries and broken sobs that filled the small kitchen, and Five wasn’t exactly being quiet either.

“Oh shit, honey…please keep doing that…I’ve wanted this so badly.”

After one more long kiss, you could feel your body start to reach its climax. As Five grasped your hips again, working you over even faster, you let yourself go with a broken moan that got louder the more your body reacted to his. With your back arched, head tipped back, and your hips twitching wildly, Five clenched his teeth and looked down between your bodies. He could see the white lather of your arousal coating his cock. With a husky growl, Five pushed you down and came inside you.

Gasping for air, you collapsed into him, chests heaving against one another. He held you loosely, his hands idly caressing your back and hair.

“Five?” you panted; nuzzling your nose and mouth into the side of his sweat-damp neck.

“Yeah?”

“If you had been fucking me like that this whole time, these last several months could have been much more enjoyable.”

He let out a breathy laugh. “If I were more confident in my time travel skills, I would go back and remedy that.”

As your playful kisses traveled over his neck and cheek, you gave him one last, deep kiss on his mouth before pulling back again. You stared deeply into his eyes that you only just now realized were so easy to get lost in.

Moving a stray piece of hair from his forehead, you smiled sweetly. “While I definitely would not mind more of your amazing dick action, I am going to murder you if I have to spend one more day in this strawberry hellhole.”

Five matched your snarky grin with his own, and smacked your ass swiftly. “Off.”

Rolling your eyes, but not able to hide the blush that dusted your cheeks again when he took that tone with you, you unfurled yourself from his body and stood up. Offering a hand out, you helped Five to his feet.

“While the thought crossed my mind to leave you in the dark just so I can get some more action, I don’t have the heart. Look,” he said as he pointed to his notebook that had just recently been pinned under your body on the table.

When you looked closer at his illegible scrawls, you frowned. “I don’t get it.”

“I did it.”

You looked back over at him with raised eyebrows. “Did what?”

“Found our way home. While you were out getting water, I figured it out.”

As the realization of what he was saying washed over you, you shrieked and threw your arms around his shoulders, pulling his damp, naked body into yours. “Five! Oh my god, you did it! We can go home?”

He nodded, a giant smile growing over his face. “I think so. And I think I figured it out so that we will have time to stop the whole mess that was starting to go down before we left, too. I think we can save the world.”

“Oh my god! This is amazing!” You pulled him tighter and kissed him hard on the lips, still smiling. “Five, you’re amazing!” Then a thought came to you and you tilted your head to the side. “Hang on…if you figured this out while I was out getting water…were you really jerking off to thoughts of me, or just your own mathematical genius?”

Five shrugged with that sexy, lopsided smile of his. “Can’t it be a little of both?”

“Holy shit,” you laughed. “Let’s get the fuck out of here and go home.”

Five pulled you close with a jerk, his arm around your waist and his hand resting securely on the small of your back. With a look that made your heart flip in your chest and your knees weak and wobbly, Five leaned in to kiss you, biting gently at your lips before pulling away and rubbing his cheek across yours.

“Why leave now? We have all the time in the world and things were just getting good,” he said, his voice low and smooth; the rush of his hot breath down your neck sending shivers down your spine.

“Ok,” you breathed out before tipping your head back so he could access your neck. “What’s a few more days?”

[bithablu]

I'm having a difficult time with certain people I know IRL who say that both political parties are the same and it's not worth voting. The Palestinian genocide is usually their main talking point about how both parties suck and how they can't vote for anyone who wouldn't demand an immediate cease fire.

Ok. Cool. Name me one president who didn't have to deal with some kind of genocide. Now show me the one that dealt with it perfectly. No flaws. Quickly. Oh? None? Because politicians are deeply flawed people navigating an overly complicated system of checks and balances that are in place to prevent fascism and dictatorships? Huh.

Palestinians need humanitarian aid, support, political allies, and political pressure on Israel. Which candidate do you think would be more likely to provide ANY of that? The guy who moved the American embassy to Jerusalem, tacitly insinuating that Jerusalem was Israel's capital? Or the chick who called for a cease fire and has a history of supporting humanitarian aid programs?

Is she perfect? Fuck no. Is she good enough? Not on this topic. But which one of them is more like to adjust their policies?

Speaking of adjusting policies, have you heard the story of how Walz went from being beloved by the NRA to get constant F ratings from them? His daughter talked to him about how he was the only person she knew who had the power to prevent school shootings. So she talked and he listened. He prioritized life over lobbyists. Action instead of just thoughts and prayers.

Can you see JD Vance doing that? I can't. He's too busy insulting legal immigrants and letting women bleed out from miscarriages because doctors have to wait 'until the mother's life is in danger' to perform D&Cs. You know, that procedure to 'clean out' a woman after a miscarriage. It's technically an abortion and some doctors would rather wait until a woman is in septic shock than risk a jail sentence for obeying their Hippocratic oath. But Vance adjusting his stance on abortion laws to save lives is less important than making a stand against... I dunno, anti-evangelical behavior 🤷🏼‍♀️

Look, I know it's disheartening. It's fucking heart wrenching just to hear about what's happening in Gaza. But throwing your vote away does no one any good. If you want to make a difference, being indifferent with your vote is not the way to go.

Have you tried talking to your local/state politicians? Have you joined any organizations? Donated? What have you done?

For those of you who say that I'm afraid of the bad orange man, you know what- yeah. I'm afraid of what he could do. My daughter is already going to grow up with less rights than I had. Gods help her if she'd move to a different state; in some of the more restrictive states a woman has more bodily autonomy as a corpse than she does if she's pregnant.

Harris/Walz isn't the best choice but they are the better choice. Pro-union, pro-children, pro-education, pro-choice, pro-GBLTQ+, pro-environment.

If you're waiting for the perfect candidate, you're going to be waiting for a while.

[suzukiblu]

Thank-you sentences for derpsheep behind the cut; weird amnesia Timberkon. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“You can recognize their heartbeats?” Bernard asks incredulously–that is a very creepy and invasive thing to recognize about someone, much less be passively listening to, what the fuck–and then frowns. “Wait, got back from where?” 

“Long story,” Superboy mutters. “Alternate realities were involved. It sucked. But I got back here, and it’s supposed to be right, and there’s people I recognize, but there’s . . . different people, too. And no one here recognizes me. And I thought . . .” 

“That you were either totally insane or just stranded in the wrong reality for no discernable reason with no idea how to find the right one?” Bernard assumes. 

“That, yeah,” Superboy says tightly. “Definitely that.” 

“Good news, I guess, if you are insane, it’s a shared delusion, and if you’re in the wrong reality, so am I,” Bernard says. “Because again, I definitely remember you. And Hawaii. And Superman being dead. And like, all that shit in general. Also you kinda died that one time too? There was a statue, I’m pretty sure. Actually I think there were two.” 

Superboy’s smile is tight and humorless, and he digs his fingers into the inside of his wrist. Bernard has no clue how a dude in such severe and obvious distress can look so fucking good about, like . . . literally everything he’s got going on over there. It’s a lot of “everything”, is all. Superboy is a lot no matter what, obviously, but still. Like, extra a lot. Secret bonus levels of a lot. 

A lot. 

“I mean, there used to be,” Superboy says, and the pained smile he’s wearing turns–bitter, kind of. 

Fuck, Bernard feels so bad for this dude. Like so many levels of so bad. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way but I need to google some shit,” he says as he digs his phone out. Tim is clearly taking his sweet-ass time in the bathroom, and since he isn’t actually in there waiting for Superboy, it’s gotta be a Bat thing, which usually gives him a good fifteen or twenty minutes of fuck-around time before Tim makes it back with the weak excuse du jour. Or, like, three and a half weeks, one very memorable and kinda fucking awful time that Bernard had spent wondering if jumping into the timestream was how vigilantes ghosted you. “And maybe check some forums or something.” 

“I don’t think ‘is this weird dude at the boba shop crazy’ is gonna pop up on Bing, man,” Superboy says, still wearing the same bitter smile. Bernard wonders why he didn’t just go to the Justice League and explain himself to them. Like, they’d probably believe him, right? Or at least they wouldn’t instantly not believe him; they’d check things out or whatever. 

Alternately, though: half-Kryptonian full-telekinetic with Lex Luthor’s DNA and Superman’s face who doesn’t even know if he’s crazy or not.  

So like . . . that seems like an awkward conversation to have with Superman, maybe, Bernard allows. Or just fucking agonizing and terrifying and wildly, wildly likely to end in one of those stupid misunderstanding-based super-fights and, like, maybe also getting drop-kicked into the Phantom Zone because said stupid fight would be against Superman and that is, apparently, what Superman usually does with supervillain Kryptonians. And probably Superboy is having some very understandable issues about getting drop-kicked out of reality right now, if that’s a concern he’s had. Which–the Phantom Zone isn’t the same thing as an alternate reality, as far as Bernard’s aware, but also what the fuck does he know about the Phantom Zone? 

Bernard googles, in quick succession: Superman’s death, the Phantom Zone, and Superboy. He gets a ton of articles and photographs and blog posts with absolutely zero trace of Superboy in a single one of them, a lot of contradicting intel about what the hell the Phantom Zone actually is, and also some blurry candid photos of a ten year-old in ripped jeans and an S-shield hoodie that he’s never seen before in his life. 

. . . so that’s weird, yeah, Bernard observes, blinking down at his phone. 

“Huh,” he says, brow furrowing. “Hey, should I know this kid?” 

“Did you literally just google ‘Superboy’?” Superboy asks, which is notably not an answer to Bernard’s question. 

“Obviously, yeah, the entire internet is in my pocket, why would I not do that,” Bernard replies reasonably, still scrolling through random photos of this completely unrecognizable kid. Said kid continues to look like a total fucking stranger and Bernard continues to have zero clue who he is or why he’s wearing the “S”. Another clone, maybe? Like, an even mini-er mini-Super? Bernard can’t see his face all that clearly in any of the pics, still, but he’s at least got Superman’s coloring, it looks like. 

“Because Tim would give you shit about it, probably, I don’t know,” Superboy lies, because he very obviously does know. Probably better than Bernard does himself, come to think of it, which is kind of a weird thought but also, like, an obviously objectively true one. Superboy’s spent a lot more time with Tim than he has, even having been, like . . . unrealitied and all. 

God, that is still so disturbing a concept, too. 

[diminuel]

God… Wani transitions, looks so much more like a man than when they first met, and Dragon — so used to being reprimanded and poorly treated by men stronger than him, and used to being cordial and friendly with men he knows are *as* strong as him — but Wani is 10 years his junior. Still a rookie. And the marines teach you to *respect* and *submit* to men stronger than you. Which obviously the RA objects to. But Dragon is *head* of the RA so *everyone* is subservient to him — except his personal friends, whom are all basically equally as strong as he is if not stronger.

/except for Wani/

And whatever level of misogyny Dragon picked up pre-RA from the marines its pretty clear the flavor wouldn’t have been “ugh this woman thinks shes as strong as ME a MAN? Lets teach her a lesson boys!” as much as “pretty lady! pretty lady! impress the pretty lady!!!! make her like you make her job easy as possible so MORE pretty ladies want to work with you!!!!” So whatever Dragon believed about their difference in strength, experience, intelligence, etc. wasn’t assss relevant to him pre-transition. Thats his girlfriend why would he want to compete with or see bis girlfriend as a threat? They love and support eachother forever and ever.

But now he’s a man and he’s less experienced and cocky and all the things Dragon had beaten into him are signs of immense disrespect from one man to another man *clearly* stronger and smarter and more experienced and higher ranking and—

….and now Dragon’s bed is very, very empty. Which is weird because he doesn’t want to get out of it either.

Wani eventually comes back and Dragon has never felt lighter. Nothing really matters except Wani. He’s decided he’d abandon the RA if Wani asked. He really would. He knows his lover has dreams (dreams he’s apparently stomped all over). The RA isn’t a dream, it’s a necessity. But that means he can leave. He belongs to Wani first.

He’s pregnant. Theyre going to be fathers. Wani has NEVER seen Dragon cry like this. He missed him so much and now theyre going to be a family. Its barely past noon and Dragon has a resignation speech ready to go. He just wants to spend the rest of his life with Wani. Clearly his RA duties and his past are getting in the way so he needs to give being supportive his full attention round the clock.

Wani nearly clocks him over the head. Is he INSANE?! He doesn’t own ANYONE. Nobody belongs to ANYONE. Wasn’t that the whole point of his OWN RA? What sort of man throws his ideals away to impress a lover?

Stay in the RA. Wani isn’t giving up on their utopia either. (Maybe he hasn’t given up being king of the pirates yet either.) if theyre raising this child theyre doing it as equals Dragon. Wani thought thats what they were when he fell in love. He was surprised when becoming a man would somehow make that harder (aren’t they even *more* similar now?)

He’s right. Dragon’s respect for his lover should have never been made conditional or brought into question. He never truly forgives himself for fucking this up. Maybe Dragon has given Croc too much leeway with some boundaries, but that should have never been made into an issue of gender. A discomfort Dragon is only able to tolerate for a girlfriend but not a boyfriend. All or nothing. 50-50.

Of course. Reprimanding a superior in thr marines like this would get you on cleaning duty for a month. But he doesn’t feel disrespected. Or threatened. He’s *proud* his Wani is so strong and confident to talk down a man twice his size. Maybe Dragon is bigger and more experienced. But Crocodile is twice as brave and twice as determined and twice as confident and that’s *important* and it *matters* and it makes them both better people together. He’s good for him. Theyre good together. Theyre going to have a great kid and he couldn’t be more excited.

(And besides. Wani is only going to get bigger and stronger.)

Ah, I love it ;w;

Dragon going from one extreme into the other, letting his actions be guided by what he feels is expected of him in a given situation instead of letting himself be guided by his convictions. But luckily, Crocodile's there to knock some sense into him~

And Dragon's right, Crocodile will grow, he will get stronger. ♥

(Though the angsty part in me whispers what about when Crocodile does lose faith in himself? What about when his dream shatters because he was too cocky, too confident and nearly gets killed in a confrontation with Whitebeard? Unless that happened before or doesn't happen at all.)

[hishighnesstheprincess]

Sorry but this image and all it represents is still driving me crazy like a full three hours later and I just wanna talk about it real briefly

First off, the obvious. This is about as direct an image of Maria being shot and bleeding out as we can get while still keeping the franchise appropriate for kids, so while it is stylized not only do we basically get confirmation of Maria being shot either directly in her heart or close to it, but I believe the cracks running down her body are meant to represent blood.

Second off, the less obvious (and mostly just headcanon). Unless they're changing up the sequence of how Maria dies, this isn't the last time Shadow saw Maria, because she would have been hunched over a console and about to pull a lever right before he gets sent to Earth. Instead, I think this is the moment that she gets shot. No matter how brave Maria canonically was, facing down GUN soldiers and refusing to give them any information about Shadow in some depictions, I think Shadow himself would have seen her as a terrified, hurt young girl, who seems to be trying to reach out to him and falling backwards at the same time. Whether or not she did literally do this as she was shot is up for debate unless we straight up get a cinematic of everything that happened on the ARK with no cutaways, which I think is highly unlikely even for this franchise, but what matters is Shadow's recollection of the event. Maria here looks scared, hurt, traumatized, reaching out to the person who was supposed to protect her and save her life. Either this is Shadow's genuine perception of how Maria felt at the moment she was fatally injured, or this is a cruel knife twist from Black Doom- either way, it's fucking horrific, and speaks to how Shadow must blame himself for her death, even if he ends up ultimately hating humanity for it.

On the other hand, the words "Maria" says when this shows ("Shadow! Remember!") could mean two wildly different things. Either it's Black Doom trying to twist Shadow's memory of her (either just to bring him pain or to lure him to the ARK for whatever reason), or this is Shadow's subconscious trying to make him remember what actually happened on the ARK. We might get further revelations about wtf happened (beyond the stuff we already know, of course) either later in Dark Beginnings or in the game itself, but I'm not sure if her line is going to be fully explained or not. I don't think it has to be, it could just be referencing the consistent memory fuckery Shadow has been subject to (thanks, Gerald/Black Doom), but it would be neat if it tied in with something later in the game.

[deadhands69]

In The Bathroom is Where I Want You

*not my photo, found on the internet. The title is from a Nightmare of You song that sparked this idea.

MDNI

Dabi x gn/afab Reader 

Warnings/Content/etc: alcohol use, public bathroom sex, light teasing/begging, swearing.

You don’t even know this band, just a random local punk show. It's at some dingy underground venue where no one cares who you are. That’s perfect as long as the band doesn’t don’t suck too much, you think while getting in the disproportionately long line for drinks. Besides, it’s not like you have much else to do. With Shigaraki at home healing, the league is at a pause on most missions, giving you all more free time than you know what to do with. 

Most of the others stayed in to rest but you tagged along with Dabi and Toga, wanting more out of tonight. 

The next band begins their set, the same mediocre drum beat you’ve heard a million times. Toga runs off. You watch as her blonde buns disappear into the crowd, leaving you alone with the tall dark haired man beside you. 

“I guess it’s just you and me tonight,” Dabi lightly elbows you in the side. You could swear his blue eyes look you up and down before landing on yours.

“I guess so,” you yell back at him.

When you approach the bar, he puts in an order before you can decide.

“Two shots of absinthe,” his loud voice booms over the music. You consider asking for something less strong but realize there’s no point when you have all day tomorrow to sleep it off. He shoves a glass of too green liquid in front of you. 

Tapping his drink lightly on yours, you watch as he downs the whole thing at once. You’re always taken aback by his confidence, this is no different. 

Your turn. 

The moment the shot touches your lips, you're overcome by licorice and fire. Less smooth than him, you swallow it in three wincing gulps. 

“Fuck, that’s rough,” you mumble, eyebrows still furrowed. He only smirks.

After another round, the two of you settle into a dark corner for a few songs.

“This band sucks,” he rasps behind your ear, lips grazing your neck, “you look bored.”

Flustered by his closeness, you nod. 

“Come with me,” less of an ask and more of a demand. A large hand grips your arm, pulling you through the crowd to a somehow even darker hallway. Pressing you into a room, he follows you in before slamming the door behind him. The lock clicks.

For a fraction of a second, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the graffiti covered mirror before he spins you around and picks you up onto the counter. His eyes rake over you, nearly glowing in the faint lighting. Soft scared lips find yours, pushing you back into the mirror. You gasp, shocked at the suddenness of the act before moving your mouth with his. Your tongues tangle together as the loud music vibrates through the wall, shaking its way into your bones. He pulls back for a moment to look down at you. His rough hands firmly working over your body before landing on your belt.

“You didn’t think I’d let you have a boring night, did you?” he asks, sliding your pants down your legs and pulling them to the floor (disgusting but you can't bring yourself to care.) The counter feels cold against your warm ass. He continues, “I see the way you always look at me. Let’s do something about it, huh?”

His boldness has you in a chokehold again, while he stands over you. Forehead touching yours. 

You nod impatiently, unable to find the words.

Sliding your already damp panties to the side, his fingers brush lightly over your skin. Parting your lips slightly, he runs two flat digits up and down before pressing a little harder on your clit. He watches amused as you writhe under him. Continuing, his hand begins to slide more easily the wetter you get. 

With his free hand, he grabs a handful of your hair, tugging you back into the vandalized wall. Your fingernails scratching at the rough edges of the stickers on the surface beneath you. 

One of his fingers quickly dips into you before pulling away. Turquoise eyes meet yours again. He repeats this, knowing exactly what he’s doing. Lightly, he resumes rubbing you. His fingers teasing, never quite giving you everything you need.

Then you realize: he’s going to make you beg for it. You’d never degrade yourself to asking for anything; he knows that. 

But you want- no, you need him. And he needs to hear it.

He picks up the pace just enough to bring you to the brink as you shove your hips further into him, feeling him hard through his pants against your thigh. He pulls away.

You need it.

And that’s how you, someone who has never begged for anything-

“I fucking need you in me!” you scream.

A smile breaks across his face. “Oh? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Fuck you,” you mutter as he loosens his belt and unzips his pants.

His length springs out eagerly. With a few quick strokes, he lines up with you, pulling your hips to the edge of the counter. Rubbing precum into you, his tip barely presses your entrance before he pauses. 

“You sure?” he muses above you.

“Uh huh,” you nod again.

“You’re gonna have to use real words,” he teases, barely poking into you before sliding back, “come on, tell me what you want.”

“You. I want you.”

“What do you want from me?” he whispers in your ear before resuming eye contact. He’s having too much fun with this.

“I want you to fuck me, Dabi,” you whine, your voice more desperate than you'd prefer but he loves it.

Fortunately, that’s all it took. With one quick snap, his hips jut forward filling you in an instant. You sigh in relief. It’s everything you need and more. His dick begins sliding in and out, plowing into every sensitive spot along the way. Grabbing his hair, you pull him in closer.

“You like that, huh?” he groans into your ear while slamming back into you. His thrusts are hard and out of sync with the muffled music. 

“Yes!” you half scream, your body clenching around him. Another hard snap and you swear you can see stars. Your body weakens under him as your orgasm overtakes you.

“You look so good, cumming on my dick,” he looks down at you, practically holding you from sliding to the floor, “how’s it feel?”

“So fucking amazing,” you babble, still clinging to him. 

He pounds into you harder, watching how your head lolls into the wall behind you while you whimper his name. It’s too much.  

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moans as he collapses onto your shoulder. His cum overflows from your already full pussy. He snaps his hips a few more times forcing your combined mess to spill out of you, pooling on the dirty counter, and dripping onto the floor. 

Pressing his head to the mirror behind you, you both catch your breath. 

“Careful,” he mumbles while helping you off the counter. He wipes himself off and gives the counter a quick swipe as you get cleaned up. 

Within a few minutes, you’re back in the corner you started in as another band takes the stage. But this time, Dabi’s standing behind you, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. 

“I hope this one sucks too,” his husky voice whispers into your ear.

[aeyumicore]

heyooo, first and for most i hope u doing good, don't forget to be kind to yourself yeah?!

so i just wanted to put u on something, if you want it ofc: what do you think would make sylus blow off emotionally? he always seems so collected even in times of stress, so that concept seems so foreign, but at the same time hes only human (...maybe?). im super curious about ur insight, especially when your view on him seems literally canon.

have a good day beautiful and thank you for ur art!!

hello my love hehe i am doing well <3

HMMMM really good question! so i definitely think sylus is nearly always calm and collected but you have him WRAPPPPPED around your finger and the few times he will lose it is when you are involved

but not the simple stuff like “oh if you’re in danger” i think above anything sylus trusts you and also really respects you. like ofc he doesn’t want you to get hurt and wants to protect you but he knows he doesn’t NEED to. he’s the most powerful, and the partner he chooses would be no different.

i think sylus loses it when someone disrespects you. touching you inappropriately, speaking ill of you? dead. but it’s beyond him like being jealous, it’s more that sylus holds you to the HIGHEST esteem, and he expects every one else too as well. sylus is self assured so him losing it would have less to do with feeling insecure or jealous but more to do with thinking someone is WRONGing you. (but don’t get me wrong he fucking hates it when someone touches what’s his 🥸)

i do also think sylus will lose his composure if the people he cares about are involved. so luke and kieran!! he definitely plays big brother/dad to them. so if anyone messes with them? DEAD. he’s protective, but not over protective. he trusts those around him, because he only surrounds himself with those that are worthy.

i think sylus just loses it when he’s not in control. his evol is all about control, his position as leader of the onychinus. so he tends to be extra vulnerable if you some how get him drunk or high, if you put him in a situation where he genuinely loses any sense of control (take away any of his senses, he’s extra responsive)

so think any situation he can’t control: when he couldn’t get you to resonate with him, when he mephisto can’t find you (so he doesn’t know what’s going on), when you force him to sit back and watch 🫡

this is very much a word and thought vomit i’m sorry if it’s incoherent 😭

[laurrelise]

saw your tua post about five i dont go here but i need to know did they pull an incest again. is that why everyones mad or did the ship just suck

ok so i’m assuming you’re talking about season 4!! i’ll leave this part very vague and spoiler free and if you don’t mind more specific spoilers (only about the ship, not about the actual end of the season) than check under the cut! :)

ok so not incest this time. the ship just reeeeeally sucks because it’s not only out of character but it ruined multiple arcs and relationships.

unhinged angry explanation of my least favorite part about season 4 below the cut!! (beware: yapping)

ok hi again! so five and lila get together. they fall for each other after they get stuck between timelines in this alternate dimension subway station thing, and they spend 7 years trying to find their way back home.

it turns out that lila was only doing it to survive because she needed something to hold onto while five, having been through this once before, had fallen head over heels for her.

he withholds information that can take them home for 6 months and lila is pissed and tells him it wasn’t real because she wants to get home to diego and her children, and five tells her that she knows she’s happier between timelines with him, blah blah blah it’s a whole thing.

five reluctantly goes back with lila and it’s really awkward and he’s pissed at diego (even though it was LITERALLY NEVER HIS FAULT) because lila is clearly still in love with him. they argue a little, lila gets between them, diego suspects something’s going on and asks, and then the truth unfolds and he’s (REASONABLY) heartbroken. it’s really sad to watch tbh

anyways then the end of the world starts to happen once again and i won’t go into specific spoilers for that because it would take WAY too long but basically five and diego are beating the shit out of each other and five literally outright says “i wanna fucking kill him” and lila tells him that it’s over between them and he goes and sulks because he was truly in love blah blah blah blah blah. anyways

it ends with five and diego hating each other. and it’s really fucking frustrating. and i really don’t mind what people ship for the most part, but this specific ship pissed me the fuck off because it should NOT have been canon. in my mind it still isn’t canon because this whole season sucked ass and i refuse to accept it as real.

you’re telling me five hargreeves, the man who survived for 45+ years with the single goal to save his family gave up on them after 7 years with the only other person around because he fell for her? why the hell was this necessary? why did the writers do this bro 😭 that is not the five i spent 3 seasons absolutely cherishing. i refuse to accept it

but also you’re telling me that the entire show ends with five hating diego and diego hating him?????? this entire season was SO out of character for the both of them but i STILL can’t get over (and will absolutely NEVER get over) that the writers really thought they could get away with the hargreeves despising each other like this. so pissed about this season omfg

so not only was the ship problematic for age differences on BOTH ends (fives body was 19 but lila’s was 36ish, probably older, while fives mind was 64 while she was AGAIN 36ish???? like how did they manage to make it pedophilic on both ends bro lmfao) (and do not even get me STARTED on the age differences of the actors and the fact that this has clearly been planned since aidan was a very young minor and the writers were waiting around for him to become 18 so it would be legal like fucking creeps) but it also involved cheating / homewrecking (with family no less) as well as multiple relationships ruined. i LOVED five and diego as a duo before. why the FUCK was this necessary *i scream from the rooftops*

anyways sorry for my chronic yapping, that is all.

i hate five x lila, have a good day.

[allwormdiet]

Buzz 7.7

Nazi capes fuck off, again

Okay, cool, the Protectorate needs to have one or more Triumvirate members mobilizing for Brockton Bay fucking immediately.

I'm certain that Alexandria or one of the others will be here any second now to deal with this televised brutality that's currently going uncontested in a Protectorate city

(The BB Protectorate doesn't get shown doing a whole lot during this particular incident, and frankly I don't think that means they're doing nothing. We see one front of the Empire's offensive and we know there are others who can cause just as much damage if left alone, plus the only Protectorate members who are maybe equipped to deal with Purity are Armsmaster and Dauntless, but given her flight and sheer destructive capability I'm not sure. I'm not so dismissive as to say they're letting this all slide, whatever they're doing is likely off-screen so to speak.

But the higher-ups should have sent in someone who could actually knock Purity's head concave, and frankly I trust them even less for not doing it with this or with Bakuda's threats.)

We get more of this later, but I think this is the first real sign of where Brian and Taylor's sensibilities diverge. Taylor's given up on being a superhero, but she still wants to be a good person, and that means that when fucking Nazis are running around burning down the city she wants to stop them, not least because they're being blamed for this rampage. Brian's priorities are different: his number one priority is his people, family or team or otherwise, and everyone else is a very distant second. As long as the Empire doesn't manage to come down on anyone he cares about, he's willing to let the city take whatever they dish out in the meantime.

This difference of opinion is going to come to a head in pretty short order, but we already see the friction before that.

Who the fuck decides whether the Triumvirate gets put on a job or not? If Alexandria or one of the others is hearing about this, can anyone actually stop them from holding back if they want to come out and put an end to this? If somebody can hold them back, that someone is at best wildly incompetent. If nobody can hold them back, I automatically hold those three in deep fucking contempt. Take a day trip and beat the shit out of some fucking Nazis, how is that such a burden?

Also, "genetically pure or not." What a fucking winner we have here, no wonder there are Purity stans who want to redeem her with the power of love or whatever.

So, this is an execution on live television. Of a cameraman, who was just the unlucky son of a bitch to get chosen for this demonstration. Are there genuinely people out there who believe the idea that the Empire is "civilized" compared to the other gangs? Some kind of lesser evil? Who reads this and goes "well actually I think that Kaiser and his followers are misunderstood and quite noble" go fuck yourself

Taylor gets fucking mean when she's not keeping a lid on it, huh?

Yeah of course the only thing she gives a shit about is her stupid baby. God I hope they figure out how to take custody from her or something, nobody deserves to be raised by a maniac like that.

Thank you Coil, that's very helpful of you Coil, this does nothing to tarnish your carefully constructed image of being in total control of the situation Coil.

Yeah, so. Proof that Purity is too strong for the local Protectorate to handle.

Also glad to see that Brian can be convinced of the right course of action once someone leans on him enough. There's only so much collateral damage he can stomach, it turns out. Hopefully that means he gets his head out of his ass about Dinah.

I don't think Taylor knows Brian well enough to have a real insight into his moral stances. A month into most of my friendships over my life I couldn't tell you how they'd respond to the trolley problem or whatever, except for the one girl who considered the trolley problem to be a stupid joke of a philosophical exercise and didn't really shy away from that.

I think she just kind of assumed that the two of them being alike in other ways, and seeing him in a particularly positive and flattering light, meant that he'd be on her side with whatever moral quandaries might come up as parahumans.

I'd say it's best she get over the shock now but she's not done being shocked by her peers this arc.

Sighs

These fuckers

Taylor having strong opinions on particular power sets is pretty funny.

Current Thoughts

Taylor you really gotta stop putting the people you like up on pedestals, it's just gonna lead to hurt and disappointment

Fucking hate Purity and the rest of her merry little band of Nazi fuckwits. I hope the Endbringer kills them to a one.

This upcoming fight is interesting tbh. I don't think it's the coolest or anything, but it's a display of how someone with a hard counter to your superpower doesn't mean an automatic loss, it just means a really fucking hard-fought win.

[explainslowly]

Get your transfem Dean season 10 au here!! Get yourself a girl who has so many problems!!

This started by me kicking around a little idea in a chat with @autisticandroids - what if Demon Dean just started taking estrogen? Like where would that lead...

The other idea behind these fics was to write short episode reactions, see how much stuff I could fit into something only a few hundreds words long... and to make pushing through season 10 less of a slog...

The series can be found here (I definitely want to continue through season 11 and perhaps longer, I've just been busy with other stuff):

Links to each story with excerpts under the cut:

Even animals suffer - demon Dean in her own words

The number one unpleasant discovery I have made in my time here, is how much of a bleeding sentimental heart Crowley has. It’s pathetic.

Now the guys that stare in bars, those are a different story.

They lead and I follow, behind the building or into their trucks and I bend over easy, let them take me rough, smelling the sweet smell of rotting garbage in damp hot weather. They like to lean on me hard and grab a boob harder, an endless parade of older guys whose failing livers you can smell on their breaths. The pain is sweet.

I don’t need no rising moon - Dean puts himself back together

He examines his naked chest - he wonders what happens next? It’s not like he did much research as a demon - he was just eyeballing the amounts. Maybe the fat will just… reabsorb itself or something. He grabs the small mounds of protruding flesh - the sight of his large hands engulfing them completely gives him a sense of vertigo, or like he’s looking down from a great height, so he closes his eyes and just concentrates on the sensation. They lack the heft of a larger cup, the satisfying weight, but it feels so soothing to hold them nevertheless.

About a girl - Dean has a little thought experiment

It’s kind of funny - Dean forgot how he used to look. That he shot up tall before he got broad, was lanky in a funny way, like an unfinished human. And doe-eyed and soft featured… it makes his mind go in all the wrong directions. Makes him think about possibilities, before testosterone takes hold - a body that hasn’t become yet and is sort of shapeless in a way that makes his head spin.

It’s just idle daydreams.

Lana del Rey croons on the radio and Dean indulges, really gives himself permission to think about it.

What do teen girls even look like these days? He’s out of the loop on it all… Probably something like... thick eyeliner? Lot of makeup… awkwardly applied, but that’s ok. It wouldn’t look out of place on a fifteen year old. That kind of clumsiness is all within reason at that age. You get space to find yourself, that's kind of what being a teen is about, he thinks.

Dirge - a little Drowley interlude

Crowley lays his palms on Dean’s ribcage, framing his chest.

“Hello ladies.”

The embarrassment burns Deam up - he feels his face flame red. “Fucking hell, Crowley…”

“Just getting reacquainted,” Crowley sounds amused, but he doesn’t keep his distance long, dives in, licking Dean’s breast, the beard scratching at sensitive skin, sending electricity down his spine. Crowley is thumping at the nipple not in his mouth and his other hand is unbuttoning Dean’s jeans.

[lizzy06]

Kaminari Denki x Reader Fic Recs!! (Tumblr/Ao3/Wattpad)

My Hero Academia Fic Rec Masterlist

watt and bothered/ tumblr✨💖  by  @andypantsx3/ andypantsx3 (oneshot, fluff, humor, smut(u can skip the smut if u prefer sfw)) For years, you’ve been valiantly battling the world’s most annoying frat bro in the apartment above you. Only, it turns out he’s not a frat bro. And also he’s hot. And also he’s—what the fuck. [COMPLETED]

Sleepwalker✨✨💖 by Fogfire/ @dira333 (oneshot, fluff) When you wake up in a stranger's bed, you don't expect it to be Chargebolt, Pro Hero. You even less expect it to happen again. But who knew what a faulty Quirk could do… [COMPLETED]

Head over Heels for you✨✨💖 by Fogfire/ @dira333 (oneshot, fluff) It's a good thing Denki gets loopy from Painkillers. Or how one accidental confession leads to something more… [COMPLETED]

In Your Arms/tumblr✨ by @alaskasmonsters/ alaskasmonsters (oneshot, fluff) Denki had become a lot more touchy lately with you, constantly seeking out touch from you specifically and you are slowly losing your mind about it… [COMPLETED]

Truth or Dare ✨by orphan_account(oneshot, fluff) You really, really wanna win this game. [COMPLETED]

I will keep on loving you✨✨ by FujisMina63 (fluff, angst, idiots in love) A Fan-fic about what if Denki loses himself to his quirk, but you still stay with him. [COMPLETED]

BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 5: Drawing on Skin✨ by @writing-freak (oneshot, soulmate AU, fluff) anything you write on your skin shows up on the skin of your soulmate. you often draw the attention of others due to the crazy doodles, scribbles, and words written all over you from head to toe. [COMPLETED]

deal✨ by @candychronicles (oneshot, Soulmate Au, fluff) in a world full of heroes and quirks, finding someone you can love is very, very hard. it’s even harder when you have a soulmate and the words that are tattooed on you are a nightmare. but still, even in this strange world, love finds a way. [COMPETED]

Favor/ tumblr✨ by ScatteredScribbles (oneshot, fluff) The smile is back, and you’re surprised at how that observation alone is enough to make your skin tingle. It’s just leftover bits of electricity, you tell yourself. When he drapes his arm across your shoulder though, your stomach leaps, and you begin to doubt the validity of your own argument. [COMPLETED]

You're Sexy, I'm Sexy by midnightweeds (weedswrites) (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff) “What did you say?” Bakugo asks, still holding his full glass. “After she said-”.[COMPLETED]

Deity Of Light- Kaminari Denki X Apollo! Reader✨ by Lady Blast Execution (Florboo) (oneshot, mythology AU, fluff)“Okay… Now I would like to have an explanation sunshine…. Who exactly are you?” [COMPLETED]

Scarred. by UltraGari(oneshot, comfort) “Can I touch them?”. [COMPLETED]

Seasons Changing by itbeajen(oneshot, hanahaki disease au, angst with happy ending) His only hope was that maybe your feelings would change to match his. [COMPLETED]

Lightning in a Bottle || BNHA by sincerely_bubbles (oneshot, fluff) denki kaminari has a crush, and when she’s around he can’t quite control his thoughts… or his quirk. [COMPLETED]

The "girlfriend" by @katimagines (oneshot, fluff) denki has a girlfriend, except she goes to a different school and no one, absolutely no one believes him. [COMPLETED]

Be Mine by @onyxiana-is-obsessed (oneshot, fluff) Denki’s been crushing on you for a while now and you just don’t seem to pick up on it! So, he asks you out on a date! For real this time! [COMPLETED]

insecure by @shinaus (angst, eventual fluff, mentions of insecurities) Denki Kaminari was in love. He knew it, his friends knew it, his other classmates knew it, but you certainly didn’t catch on to it. [COMPLETED]

Yakitori Time/ tumblr✨ by @vanilladyfics/ Vanillady (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff) Denki Kaminari was born with the first words his soulmate will say to him on his chest. They tell him exactly where they'll meet-- a yakitori restaurant-- but not when. [COMPLETED]

Confetti Love by atsukashii(oneshot, fluff) When Kaminari surprises you with tickets to see your favorite band for your birthday, you finally tell him how you feel in the best way how. [COMPLETED]

Safe by silkylious (oneshot, fluff) Three in the morning. Who the hell would text you at ass o’clock in the morning? You knew who. [COMPLETED]

Why are you so pretty? by Shooting_Stars_Library (oneshot, fluff) Denki is too pretty for the reader to handle. [COMPLETED]

he's a keeper by secretpeachtea (oneshot, fluff) 5 times your boyfriend gives you the wrong gift (+ the one time he gets it right). [COMPLETED]

A Shock to See by bakusquadup (fluff) Kaminari has always had an obsession with cute girls, so when he gets a girlfriend outside UA, you are not surprised in the least. However, when you discover something about his new-found girlfriend, it's hard to remain supportive. [COMPLETED]

Discoveries by cxsmicdxst (oneshot, fluff) “Hey, (y/n), are you alright there? You’ve been staring at the ceiling for the past three minutes.” [COMPLETED]

Shellshocked by @sunflowershouto It’s the training camp, and Denki is sheltered in the building along with the other students that failed the practical. When he hears that the villains are after two particular students, he has to do something to protect the one he loves. [COMPLETED]

Love Me Back by @lordsister (oneshot, fluff) "Please, (y/n)!!! I promise it’ll be fun!”. “My answer is the same as the last twenty times you asked me.” [COMPLETED]

[martyrbat]

rip to bruce but if i fumbled her i would literally kill myself