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#it just makes me kinda sad for my baby self
gregmarriage · 1 year
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watching videos of myself as a child be like ‘baby girl, you are so autistic and you don’t even know.’
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mishkakagehishka · 7 months
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Like we'll never make proper progress bc too many women have internalised misogyny and are quite happy with it bc they see their successful conforming to gender roles as something they should be proud of and other women's "unsuccessful" conforming as something to shame. Why? My assumption is bc they also don't want to have to conform 24/7 and are bitter when confronted with women who have decided they won't bother anymore. I like to think that bc then there's at least some hope for them.
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reidrum · 4 months
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good night moon | s.r
A/N: hi again ! this one is deeply self indulgent i fear but who cares i hope you like it as much as i do <3 ps let me know what kinda fics i should write next !!
cw: spencer reid x bau!reader, cm type violence, reader is afab but this only is referred to when mentioning reader is a daughter, sad thoughts, hurt/comfort, talks about nightmares, spencer just wants to take care you gdm it why won’t you let him
wc: 2.4k
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trudging up the stairs of the bullpen, you tried your best to use whatever sense you had left to beeline to the kitchen to make another cup of coffee. thank god the bau had minimal reflective surfaces because you’re sure you look like the evil old lady from snow white. that was just, your opinion of course. to everyone else you looked fine.
fine was so subjective. what did these fuckers know about being fine? they weren’t the ones on the mission. they don’t know what you saw, how you did nothing, how you couldn’t do anything.
“FBI hands up!” you yell holding your gun and flashlight at the unsub. he’s holding the victim at knifepoint, a twelve year old girl who reminded you too much of yourself.
this unsub’s MO was kidnapping eldest daughters of families that had sons as well, because he believed the son should be the eldest child with the most responsibility and that the daughters were only there to create more babies. the team had deduced that he was the youngest child to an older sister who he felt had too much control over him, combined with his fascination with the perfect nuclear family, it slowly turned him into a sociopathic killer.
“come any closer and i’ll slit her throat!” the unsub bellowed, getting dangerously close to her carotid artery.
“you don’t wanna do that, man,” derek says behind you, “just put the knife down and we can talk.”
“there’s nothing left to talk anymore! i’m already going to prison. there’s no point.”
you called out the unsub’s name, “i know how you’re feeling, i have a younger brother too and he feels the same way you do sometimes. what your sister did to you was not okay, but not all sisters are like that. we just want to care for our family. let them have the chance to be the big sister you wished for.”
the unsub seemed to contemplate your words for a minute, then looks up at you with eyes devoid of any light, “then this one is dedicated to you, agent.” and he drags the knife across her neck leaving waterfalls of blood coming out.
you’re not really sure what happened next. a gun went off, presumably derek’s, to kill the unsub. and then it was you screaming as you rushed to the young girl to try and stop her bleeding, but it was no use. the cut was deep enough to nick that damn carotid and all you could do was hold her in her last moments.
“te- tell my family i love them, and that i’m sorry.” the young girl spurts out so softly you almost didn’t hear it.
“no sweet girl, don’t be sorry,” you say through hiccuped cries, “i’m sorry i couldn’t save you.”
the last thing you remember was feeling strong hands carrying you out of the building. you couldn’t hear much, the sound of your wails pretty much masked anything in a five mile radius. you could taste the iron lingering in your mouth from biting your lip too hard and desperately collecting the salty tears and sweat trickling down your face. at first you smelled smoke and dust, most likely from being in the cave where the unsub was. but as you were being dragged away from the crime scene you were influxxed with a musky scent, and a hint of vanilla with that fresh laundry smell. spencer. the last thing you see are his worried little brown eyes staring down at you before everything goes dark.
that was monday. it is now thursday. the case had wrapped up, the unsub was dead the families were notified and now you all were in the office doing your paperwork for the case.
and all of you were doing fine, right? everyone else had already coped and processed the case, already stepping back into their normal life routines. but you, you couldn’t have it that easy, but god you wish you did.
since that day, you’d been holing up in your apartment with all the lights turned on. you sat in your living room, eating a bowl of fruit loops and watching bluey, because listen it’s a great show and we should acknowledge it. you cry out loud seeing bluey care for her little sister bingo, and it brings you back to that dusty cave and the bloodied hands.
you could feel sleep creeping up on you, yet you subconsciously found a way to push bedtime by doing menial tasks like cleaning, extra long skincare, watching a movie. when you ran out of things to do, you entered your room and just stared at your bed. how were you supposed to admit to yourself that the horror isn’t in the movie you just watched where the creepy demons kill everyone, but it’s what is waiting for you behind closed eyelids.
so the only logical solution was to just, not sleep. you whipped out every trick in the book to stay awake for as long as you could— energy drinks, coffee, splashing cold water, anything so you wouldn’t have to reface your plagued memories.
spencer observed you from a distance. he watched as you got coffee a whopping three times before 10am, you picking at your skin, not to mention the bags growing under your eyes. it was then he formed a hypothesis, he was a scientist after all. that you simply were not sleeping because of the case. it was much less a hypothesis and more of a fact because he knew exactly what it was upon first sight of you, hell he invented the sleep avoidance look.
and as the inventor it meant he knew the feeling more intimately than he would like to admit. spencer knew what it felt like to be debilitated by the confines of your brain, holding onto shreds of memories you know are not worth remembering but have somehow marked their territory anyway. and everyone coped differently, for spencer he isolated himself for days and then threw himself into work. for you? well, that was the next part of spencer’s experiment.
spencer approaches you in the kitchen as you’re pouring your fourth cup before noon, “hi.”
“hi.”
“how are you? feels like we haven’t talked in a bit.”
“i’m good, sorry i’ve just been. busy.”
spencer frowned internally, he knew you weren’t doing a single thing but working at the office. “are you okay? do you want to talk about last week?”
you cut him off abruptly and start walking out, “i really have to finish these reports spence, talk to you later.”
spencer knew better, he should give you space to cope by yourself. you were an adult, you can take care of yourself. but you shouldn’t have to, he thinks. spencer still tells himself he knows better as he’s waiting on your doorstep that night, about to the rapp the door.
after a minute of no answer he knocks again this time calling your name through the door, “will you let me in please? i want to show you something.”
still nothing. he continues, “i know what you’re feeling, and i want to help, please.”
he almost gives up and turns around when he hears the turn of a lock and slight creek of the door opening to see you in all your beautiful glory.
now you, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes. avengers pj shorts with a baggy uni t shirt, hair flying in any direction, and a look that spencer could only describe as grief. but god if you weren’t the most beautiful human he’d seen in his life, he’d be lying.
you were coming up on day 3? or was it 4? of no sleep. it’s not like you were not sleeping at all you took little 30 minute naps each day, enough to get you some shut eye but not enough to make it your rem stage of sleep.
spencer speaks again, “can i come in?” you nod silently and open the door wider for him to step in. he removes his shoes and it’s then you notice a big ole tote bag he’s lugging to your living room.
“what’s in the bag?”
“ah, come sit. i brought magical things.” he smiles playfully.
you shuffle over to sit a seat’s cushion away from him and watch as he starts pulling item by item from his mary poppins bag.
candles, essential oils, books, but specifically romance novels with the silly cartoon covers that he swears aren’t real books but you argue with him until he concedes, melatonin gummies, pillow sleep spray, and one more item that he’s holding onto for what seems to be dramatic effect. you’re not amused.
“and the piece de resistance,” he presents the last item, and you look confused for a second, until you recognize the item in front of you and immediately start tearing up. in his hands is a grogu weighted stuffed animal that he holds out for you to take. “i know you’re not sleeping. it happened to me when, you know. i figured it would be helpful if you had someone who could empathize how you’re feeling. and because you’re my best friend and i care about you.”
your bottom lip trembles, and you feel the ice block you’ve kept yourself in this past week start to melt uncontrollably. “spence…” you breathe out so quietly. he did all this? for you? doctor spencer reid went out to the store, and bought a grogu stuffed animal for you to cuddle at night to ease your loneliness?
the concept of being taken care of was so foreign to you, as the eldest daughter in your family it was always you taking care of others and making sure everyone was okay. but rarely did anyone check on you, how you were holding up. and you had learned to cope by yourself, to handle the big emotions by yourself, but for once, someone was willing to take all that weight off your shoulders and let you breathe. and god, did it feel so cathartic you could burst out in sobs.
so you did.
“hey,” he says scooting closer to you so he can scoop you into his chest, “was that a lot? penelope said i’d probably overwhelm you but all of the things i brought are scientifically proven sleep additives-“
“no i just, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” you whimper.
spencer’s eyes soften, “you deserve it. what happened last week… was hard. i just wanted to help.”
“thank you,” he hears a muffled response and rubs his hands affectionately down your back, “damn, all this crying is making me so tired.”
“see! the magic of the poppins bag.” he chuckles. you laugh too. spencer thinks all the flowers in a mile radius just bloomed.
“it’s just,” you start out, nuzzling into his chest deeper, “the second i close my eyes and dream, i see her. and how i couldn’t save her. and how the others i couldn’t save either.” you feel your chest seizing up again.
“okay well hey, hey. you did what you were trained to do. any other agent in your position would’ve tried talking him down the way you did. and your personal story gave you an advantage that no one else would’ve had. statistically speaking, you were the best chance at getting through to him. yeah it didn’t work, but it wouldn’t be probability if it always worked,” he cradles your face in his big hands, “we’re all so proud of you, you know. rossi’s waiting for you to be back on your feet so he can host pasta night at his hou- sorry his mansion again.”
spencer looks down at you properly to your tear stained cheeks and brushes your hair back. he sees the pain and tiredness fighting behind your eyes and asks softly, “what do you need right now?”
“i’m tired.” you lament.
“then lets go sleep.”
“i can’t.”
“why not?”
“im scared.”
“well that’s why i brought the stuff silly goose,” he taps your nose, “come on, let’s go set it up.”
spencer brings all the sleep aids to your room and sets them up appropriately, even plugging in your sunrise lamp to help with the ambient lighting. the only thing left to do is for you to get into your bed.
you both stand on opposite sides of your bed, and he’s waiting for you to get in so can tuck you in. you hesitate and look up at him with the same worried eyes he saw all those days ago.
“could you stay for bit?”
“i can stay for some time if you want” you both speak at the same time. you giggle again, spencer thinks an angel got its wings.
thank god he wore sweats and a comfy t shirt he thinks. he slid in under the blanket and holds it open for you to come in, “come on, you’re missing the cuddle party with grogu and i!” you beam widely and finally sink into your bed.
spencer pulls you into his chest, wrapping an arm around your shoulder blade, and the other taking a spot on your hip rubbing soft circles. you lay your head to rest on his chest, right above his beating heart. you try to let the metronomic thumps lull you to sleep, but spencer can still feel your eyelashes fluttering about on his chest. he knows what you’re thinking, because of course he does.
“look at me,” he nudges you, you look up at his eyes again and see nothing but pure love and reassurance as he continues, “you are safe. nothing can hurt you. i promise.”
“are you sure?” you let out meekly,
“i’m sure. it’s okay, go to sleep,” he presses a gentle kiss to the crown of your forehead. “i’ll be here when you wake up.”
you shakily take a deep breath, and close your eyes.
after five minutes of spencer rubbing shapes into your back, he can finally hear the soft snores coming from below. he places another kiss on your head, whispers, “good night angel girl,” and doses off.
you wake up the next morning feeling so rested and relieved you can’t help but give spencer a big hug that wakes him up. spencer thinks he’d be the luckiest man in the universe if he could wake up like this everyday.
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lunatic-pudge · 5 months
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Mercs Being Jealous
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(Requested by menenthusiast900069)
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Aight, so let's make a quick list of most to least jealous, just so you get an idea of my very bias beliefs, I am semi willing to debate this.
1.) Sniper
2.) Demo
3.) Scout
4.) Medic
5.) Pyro
6.) Soldier
7.) Engie
8.) Spy
9.) Heavy
Now, onto the headcanons!
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Scout:
-Such a jealous baby, he can't help it
-A lot of it comes from his insecurities and also being the youngest of eight. He's used to being "the runt" of the group, even with the mercs. So he feels like he has to compete with them for your affection, even if you two are dating
-Like, someone could stand just a little too close to you and he's already starting the side eyes
-Scout, chill, for real for real
-He will attach himself to you once the jealousy kicks in. Arms wrapped around you, nuzzling up against you, it's that inner dog in him
-He will get mouthy with whoever is causing the jealousy. Talks a lot of smack for someone who is built like a damn twig. So it goes from him loving on you, to you having to prevent a fight from happening. Yes, depending on who it is, he can win the fight, he's a mercenary afterall. But when it comes to guys who have a big build like Heavy, then you'll really need to stop him
Soldier:
-Isn't really the jealous type, surprisingly. I think it comes from an oblivious stand point. Like, you need to point it out that someone's flirting with you for him to get even an increment of jealousy
-He really feels like he has nothing to worry about (which he's right). He's more than confident that you're loyal to him cause he is with you
-I feel like when you do say someone is flirting with you, he isn't gonna be violent, moreso he will make a big name and shame thing out of it (he basically did that to Miss Pauling in the comics)
-Like, "Who do you think you are flirting with MY GIRL, maggot! You are a disgrace to this country! Now drop and give me 100!"
-But that don't mean he isn't ready to throw hands. Cause he will. Homie's down to break a few necks. But if you don't want him doing that then you're gonna have to remove him from the situation
Pyro:
-I feel like they're kinda like Solider is the more oblivious aspect, but not as much. Like, they can tell when someone's flirting with you, but whether they truly care or not is up for debate
-I don't really see Pyro as a violent type when jealous. Why waste their energy on someone so insignificant to them?
-If anything, Pyro will just resort to loving all over you, more than usual. All the while giving the offending person a death stare
-It's a very effective form of intimidation
-Cause think about it, are you gonna want to fight a person wearing a flame proof suit, that isn't speaking, and is just giving you the thousand yard stare? No, you wouldn't
Demoman:
-Poor baby can be quite insecure. I feel so bad for him
-Constantly worries about not being good enough. He's so used to being beat down by the people around him that he doesn't have good self-esteem
-He will stand nearby you, waiting for you to notice him, looking like a sad and lost puppy
-Once you finally notice him, you'll have to pry him open to find out what's wrong. He doesn't like burdening you with his problems so he tends to sit and stew about everything til he bursts
-He will need to to reassure him that you aren't going anywhere and that you love him. He needs a lot of verbal reassuring cause he's a worrying lad
Heavy:
-Heavy? Jealous? Where?
-While Scout, Demo, and Sniper might be the top three most jealous, Heavy, Engie, and Spy are the least jealous
-Heavy is this big, strong bear, why would you ever wanna settle for less? Like, frfr, you'd have to have an IQ less than an orange to stoop to such lengths
-But let's play along and say that he did get jealous. One of those very rare times it happens. He knows he doesn't have to do much to make the offender leave, all he has to do is stand there
-And stare.
-And stare..
-And stare...
-He's got that resting angry face so he just has to stand behind you and exist to make people leave you alone. It's kinda funny to think about it. He'll gently take your hand and leave after that
-Why be around people when you two can be locked away in a quite room with a good book?
Engineer:
-Again, not a jealous person. But he does have his moments sometimes
-He's a confident boy and knows you wouldn't do anything. Plus have you seen him? He's an intelligent man, got such a nice voice and accent, and can build a machine to keep you safe
-When he jealous, he's passive aggressive. He doesn't like to be hostile, especially so up front, so he'll do little things to help get his point across
(Would give examples but I'm not passive agressive, I'm just aggressive, oops)
-He'd come up to you, slide an arm around you, give you a kiss on the cheek, and say how he was looking for ya while side eyeing the offender
-THAT MAN COULD USE HIS VOICE TO SEDUCE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN, FIGHT ME
-Weirdly enough, I can see him as someone who will look into the offender, find all the person's info and hand it over to Medic, basically saying "Here's someone you can harvest organs from. Have fun, Pookie."
-Then Medic and Engie proceed to make out and get married. The end
Medic:
-Medic's an interesting fellow. I feel like he's like Pyro where it all depends on his mood. Somdays, he doesn't give a shit, and other days, HE'S FUMING
-He will NOT tolerate the disrespect  >:(
-Cue sassy Medic. This man will verbally murder a bitch and I'm here for it
-Will get "handsy" with you (he'll just throw himself on top of you, maybe even make you hold him bridal style if you're strong enough)
-Will be loving all over you while verbally berating the offender. Everything is getting called out. EVERYTHING. He wants to ensure his point is made
-Buuuut, this can also be a chance to score some fresh, new organs. He's always in the market for that stuff so he can easily kidnap the offender and harvest the goods. And no, you can't talk him out of it. Once his mind is made up, nothing can stop him
Sniper:
-Oh my poor baby boy. Where do I even begin with you?
-Sniper can't help but get so jealous so easily. He's never been one to have relationships with people so when he is in one, he gets so insecure at times
-Worries he's not good enough at times. He know he's a "quirky" individual, so he worries you'll want to be with someone who's more "normal"
-Will stand nearby, giving the offender dirty looks. They can feel the daggers that Sniper is giving them, it's enough to make them leave
-Afterwards, he'll pull you away from everyone and be all over you
-While Demo needs verbal reassurance, Sniper needs physical reassurance. So please love on him and tell him it's gonna be okay and that you love him and only him
-But I can also see him needing to prove that he's better than any guy through "fun" means (Medic would too but I forgot to add it. They both horny jealous people)
Spy:
-Again, not a jealous person, and rightfully so
-We all know how suave this man is. He can pull anyone and everyone without even trying
-But I'm sure even Spy has his own moments when he feels a slight bit of jealousy
- He'd be so pissy with the offender. Like, fuck you, pal. That's MY partner
-Welp, time to go over there and seduce you all over again, which isn't hard for him to do. He's got that magic in him, ya know? He;s a man who knows what words to say and what moves to make. He'd make the offender jealous that they couldn't be with Spy
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bivht · 8 months
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Astrology Observations
tw: ED
A lot of people in my life with chiron-saturn hard aspects have one parent emotionally (or physically) absent and the other emotionally manipulative. Also common is intergenerational trauma/childhood trauma. This individual has difficulties relying on people for support. It sucks bc it’s quite a common aspect. I’d estimate roughly 25% of my class has this
Chiron-saturn hard aspects also make me think of someone with a wounded sense of restriction and discipline. In extreme cases it can lead to mental health conditions like eating disorders I.e. Karen carpenter with Saturn square Chiron. Eugenia cooney with Saturn opposite Chiron. Tbh this is more of an assumption, both individuals have mars square Saturn which could also be a factor
mars square Saturn is where the ability to feel motivated, take action, and progress is restricted by Saturn. And the square aspect makes it sooo difficult to overcome, it’s locked in place like a safe. Their sense of discipline is also kinda f’ed up. Potential to be self-punishers.
pisces moon with hard aspects to pluto can have emotionally manipulative mother in which the child believes their mother is their best friend but it’s really just an unstable relationship with lack of any emotional boundaries :/
moon-pluto/moon-saturn hard aspects is having at least one traumatic event relating to their mother by age 16
Venus-Chiron/chiron in the 7h can have a fear of people leaving them for someone better
Melpomene (18) conjunct pluto is so frickin’ powerful when they delve into tragic art such as sad songs/dance/writing. Melpomene is the muse of tragedy. Even if it’s a really happy or cute person, they’ll catch you off guard with their suitability in tragic roles
This is obvious but fatme (866) can have weight struggles
pisces moon is asking your mum for privacy and she says “I’m your MOTHER, I’ve seen you naked since you were a baby!”
virgo mercury is the definition of “oh no… anyway”
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nocturnalcharm · 2 months
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SWF Alphabet (Logan Howlett)
𐙚 cw: mention of sex briefly, cursing
𐙚 a/n: all of these are just my ~opinions~ so feel free to disagree w me lol also maybe a lil self indulgent so probs not v accurate to wolvie but its alr :,) NOT PROOFREAD
18+ blog!! you are responsible for your own media consumption. if any of the above makes you uncomfortable, do not proceed.
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
— doesn’t start out affectionate, but once you’ve got a deep connection, he becomes more affectionate. loves hugs and surprising you with gifts
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
— would start bc of the team obv. feel like he’d be the type of friend where,,, if you called him at 3am, for any reason, he’d be out of the house and otw to you at 3:01.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
— as much as i want to say yes.. like realistically no. bc nightmares and claws and trauma. but likeeee this is my blog bitch so yes hehe. he’s a big cuddle bug. def likes to be the big spoon but doesn’t mind being a lil spoon sometimes.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
— yes, he could see himself settling down but doesn’t rly care for getting married though, he just doesn’t see the point of it.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
— (im crying) if he HAD to, i feel like he’d push it off and become more distant until you ask him what’s wrong, then he’d tell you everything. ookaY NEXT I DONT WANNA BE SAD
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
— i feel like he wouldn’t want to get married, not for a specific reason, just like doesn’t see the point. is committed to you though and if it was rly important to you, he would.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
— hA. physically yes very gentle unless ur having sex. emotionally………. nah. like if it’s a rly serious situation then yeah but he might not realize how serious something is until he’s already made an ass out of himself and then he’s like //oh shit i fucked up//
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
— heheh… yes. he hugs you all the time. literally always. coming up behind you while you’re cooking, or brushing your teeth and bear hugs you. he just likes touching you.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
— oof. he takes awhile to say it. he def says it first though. but like.. awhile. probably like a year.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
— WHEWWWW I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. he’s very jealous. he says he’s not. but his actions show otherwise. like says he’s fine but can’t keep his hands off you (when he normally hates PDA) ugh i love it. just wants to show everyone you’re his.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
— passionate. leaves you wanting more. he likes to kiss you allllll overrrr. he likes to be kissed on his neck. and his chest when you’re cuddling and he doesn’t have a shirt on. and lips but duh.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
— cautious, like kinda scared. especially around babies. doesn’t know how to handle them lol
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
— sleepy, cuddly mornings. staying in bed for as long as possible.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
— i like to think you two stay up late together. watching movies, cooking food at midnight, you two often fall asleep on the couch instead of the bed
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
— he doesn’t start getting rly personal until he knows you’re someone to trust, but it’d take awhile. he reveals things slowly.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
— unless you do something to really piss him off, which you wouldnt, i feel like he’d be chill (with u only obv, angry wolvie w everyone else)
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
— sorry but like he remembers every detail you’ve told him. he comes home randomly with a specific candy bar you mentioned you like ONCE 2 years ago and is so proud of himself.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
— when he first said “i love you”. he was so vulnerable and scared honestly but everything was fine and you said it back!!
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
— VERY. VERY BITCH. he will cut a bitch to protect you. literally. ‘touch her and you die’ vibes.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
— i kinda feel like unless it’s something rly important, he wouldn’t put that much effort in but not bc he doesn’t care. bc you like to go over the top and plan out everything lol
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
— isn’t great at communication. prob bottles things up until he kinda blows up whoooops. he definitely tries but has a hard time opening up.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
— he cares, have u seen his lil tufts? isn’t obsessed but puts effort into his appearance. just wants to look good for you!!
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
— ummm yes. it takes a lot for him to open up & be comfortable around someone so if you just weren’t there anymore, for whatever reason, he would feel incomplete
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
— imagining him getting ready for date and he’s styling his lil tufts and ur waiting on him like ‘babe hurry we’re gonna be late!!’ and he’s just trying to perfect his hair so he looks good for you omg
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
— as a yapper this hurts to say but… if you talk too much i feel like it’d annoy him. just imaging you going on and on and on and in his head he’s like ‘get to the mf point ohmygoddddd’
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
— like i mentioned earlier, accidentally falling asleep on the couch lol. sorry but he snores and you have to shake him to make him stop
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WORLDS COLLIDE
ii. jealousy
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Luke Castellan x gn!reader
Warnings- Abandonment issues, Swearing, Jealousy.
Word count- 1.2k
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“So, what cabin are you in Y/N?” One of Luke’s friends asks one morning while you’re all eating breakfast. Since you and Luke started dating, you began hanging out with his friends
“Oh, I’m not in one, I’m unclaimed.” You explain calmly, being unclaimed didn’t really bother you much.
“Sorry, uh I didn’t know.” He replies.
“Nah, it’s cool man, really, plus, means they’re close to me.” Luke speaks up, his hand resting comfortably in yours. Somewhat selfishly, Luke wanted you to stay unclaimed, to stay in the Hermes cabin with him forever. He was scared you’d grow apart once you left his cabin, his abandonment issues reminding him that you didn’t have to stay, you could leave whenever.
You smiled softly after hearing his comment, leaning in to rest your head on his shoulder. “I do like keeping him close, I’m gonna miss him when I get claimed.” You spoke in an almost nostalgic tone, making Luke’s heart seize in his chest.
“We’ll just have to be more sneaky when it comes to cuddling.” He teases lowly, poking your side as he does, earning a laugh from you, and rolled eyed from the others.
“We get that you’re in love and all, but we don’t need to see all that.” One of the boys comments, causing Luke to roll his eyes and you to laugh even harder.
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Luke could tell something was up when you went running up to him while he was doing archery, something you’d rarely interrupt.
“Luke! Guess what?” You pant out, stopping in front of him to catch your breathe.
“Baby, baby, breathe, deep breaths, now tell me what’s wrong.” He speaks softly and calmly, placing a gentle hand on the small of your back. He was worried that you had gotten hurt, or something worse.
“I-I- I got claimed!” He didn’t know how to react, he was both excited for you to finally feel like you belong, but he was also so scared of losing you.
“Baby, that's great, what cabin?” He speaks softly, still trying to soothe you, helping you to speak more rationally.
“Cabin 10, Aphrodite.” You say, now much calmer. You had caught your breath and you were smiling up at him.
“Baby, holy shit, that’s amazing!” His panic and fear was taken over by excitement as he lifted you into his arms, spinning you around. He didn’t care who saw, he was so proud, so excited, his partner, child of Aphrodite. He sets you down, kissing your head before pulling you close to him.
“I- I’m kinda scared, to be in a cabin without you.” Your voice was quiet, and his heart dropped at your sad tone. He couldn’t lie, he was a little relieved to hear that you worried, to hear that you needed him.
“It’ll be alright, I promise, and I’ll fight anyone who’s mean to you. Plus, we can cuddle up in those fancy pink sheets.” He smiles as he speaks, trying his best to cheer you up. His smile widens as a small grin appears on your face. “C’mon, lemme see that pretty smile.” He coaxes, lifting your chin up to see your face better. He caresses your cheek when he sees you smile, happy to see it back on your face.
“You promise you’ll come into my cabin so we can sleep together?” You ask, eyes wide as you speak.
“Of course sweetheart, I promise.” Luke sticks out his pinky, hooking it with your’s in a signal of promise.
“I should go set my stuff up, I’ll see you tonight.” With that, he watched you walk off. His heart began to sink, his brain convincing him that you were leaving him like everyone else did.
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You were late for dinner. You were never late.
He saw you jogging towards your table after chatting with some girls from your new cabin. Jealousy spiked in his chest, but he didn’t say anything about it.
“Everything okay?” He asks, placing a hand on your thigh as you settle beside him.
“Yeah, I just had to talk with Emma and Charlie about getting settled in the bunks, sorry it took so long.”  You apologize, his hand rubs your thigh as you speak in a self-soothing motion.
“It’s alright.” He speaks, but you could hear something in his tone that wasn’t there before.
“What’s wrong baby? You sound like something’s up.” Fuck, he had been caught. He quickly tried to come up with some sort of excuse to keep you from getting worried.
“Um, it’s nothing, let’s talk about this later tonight, okay? I don’t want everyone to hear about this.” He explains lowly, trying to keep from scaring you.
“Alright, that's okay.” You reassure, a hand going to his back to rub soothing circles. Luke was still astonished by the way you seemed to know exactly what he needed and when he needed it.
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He stepped into your cabin that night around 9pm, seeing you sitting on the bed with some others, giggling away.
“Oh, my boyfriends, can you give us some time?” You ask them, they nod and walk to their own beds. Luke’s heart flutters as he hears those words, he loved being reminded that he was utterly and entirely yours.
He walks over, kissing your head softly before crawling in bed beside you. One arm wraps around your stomach, the other beneath his head to prop him up. “Hi.” He says, earning a sweet giggle from you as you hear him.
“Hi.” You respond in a tired tone, nuzzling into his neck. His arm once draped around your shoulders moves up to lovingly stroke your hair. “What did you wanna talk about?” You ask softly, your voice a little muffled by his skin.
“Can we wait until everyone is asleep?” He asks, not wanting the whole cabin to hear about his issues.
“Of course, we can just cuddle until then, they all should be out pretty soon.” You explain, and you were right, within about 30 minutes, the cabin was silent.
“Baby, um, this is hard for me to say, so be patient.” Luke explains softly. You move so you can perch your chin on his chest, looking up at him with wide eyes. "Well, uh, you know about some of my issues, right? Like the ones with abandonment?“ He asks, watching as you nod before continuing. "Okay, well, with you being in a different cabin, and us having less activities together now, those issues have kinda been flaring up. I guess I’m just worried you’re gonna leave me, which I know you’d never do, but its what my brain keeps telling me.” He explains, taking a deep breath before giving you a moment to respond.
“I understand that, but know that I love you so, so much, and that I’ll make sure we see each other often, and that we still hang out as much as we can.” Luke’s mind goes blank as you speak, you love him? No one had ever uttered those words so casually to him, never made him feel deserving of love.
“You- you love me?” He questions nervously.“
“Of course, I love you, and I want to make sure that we stay happy and in love.” He was taken aback, unable to believe your words.
“Well- I- I love you too.”
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slasherscream · 3 months
Note
I love your writing! And you just get my craziness and character obsessions. I was thinking what would happen if reader had a bruise cheek or lip, and refuse to tell them what happen. Then they discover that the reader was the one who beat the shit out of someone for saying something about their partner, and how proud yet pissed off they will be. I’m think Crazy Ass Girls Gang, need more possessive and protective FMC. Thank you!
warnings: yandere behavior - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Tiffany Valentine - Tricks you into thinking she’s gonna be normal about it. She purses her lips when you won’t tell her anything, but quietly rushes off to get the first-aid kit. WATCH OUT! You have just activated a trap card: emotional manipulation. Her most powerful weapon. She’ll silently and dotingly take care of you. Disinfectant. Gentle Hands. Careful bandaging. Petulant silence. Painkillers lovingly dropped in your hand. Big sad eyes staring up at you. When you inevitably break and tell her what happened she could melt! She does melt, straight into your arms. You’re gonna be covered in lipstick by the time she’s through with you. Her hero. Don’t worry, she’ll help you clean up… eventually. Later, you’ll have to help her clean up too. It was so romantic of you to fight for her honor…. But she'd never let someone live after they hurt you, silly.
Jordan Li - Won’t drop the line of questioning until you’re damn near ready to fight her too. She hates that you’re hurt. She loves that you wanted to defend her. Jordan gets a lot of criticism, sometimes it seems never ending. The fact that you feel so strongly about protecting her, not because you think she can’t fight her own battles… but because she shouldn’t have to do it all alone? It means a lot. Still, she doesn’t want you getting into fights. Let alone fights over her. It doesn’t matter how badly you hurt the other person. If there are marks on you Jordan is going to go find them for round two. “You like to put hands on people?” Words spoken seconds before disaster (she’s ignoring the fact that you started the fight. Jordan could give a shit about semantics.)
Nancy Downs - Don’t wanna tell her? Cool! Get ready to experience her favorite couple’s activity besides shoplifting: abusing your coven bond to read your mind! Hooray! It will hurt badly. Because Nancy always makes it hurt when you keep her out on purpose, or hide things from her (or when she thinks you’re doing that.) But don’t worry, after she realizes how sweet you really were, she’ll make you feel all better. Cooing over you as much as she ever allows herself to coo. Cleaning your cuts. Healing you with her magic. Trying to ease the fever that always comes whenever she uses your bond in a way she shouldn’t. She thinks you’re the stupidest, sweetest thing. You’re witches. You don’t have to use your fists anymore to win fights. She leaves you with the coven and goes to enact a witch’s vengeance on whoever dared to lay a finger on you. 
Jennifer Check - You’ll try not to tell her but she immediately starts making such wild accusations you have to just come out and admit to why you’re injured. “I can smell someone on you. If you wanted to get beat up to get your rocks off you should’ve just told me, I’d happily beat the shit out of you.” Start talking quickly! She looks like she’s about to start fulfilling that nonexistent wish now. Once you tell her she has to suppress a smile. She’s a demon. She doesn’t need you playing knight in shining armor over what some jealous, mouth-breathing, loser is saying about her… but, it’s kinda hot that you did. She’ll show you just how hot she thinks it is. Then you two are gonna take a nice little drive, and you’re gonna point out the jackass who put bruises on you. She’ll fuck you again after she’s full. “Thanks for finding my next meal, baby.” 
Victoria Neuman - Victoria expects you to have better self control than this. Not telling her what happened isn’t an option. Ever. The look on her face when you first try and insist that nothing happened is enough for you to quietly admit you got into a fight. Her blood pressure sky-rockets. You two have an image to maintain. You’re her spouse. She has enough problems as it is. She’s thinking of viral videos, nightly news, seedy gossip magazines doing think-pieces: do we really want this person standing behind the president as first spouse? When you tell her you fought one of the Boys for trying to convince you she’s a monster? Well…. She goes a little softer. Victoria will pull you into the circle of her arms and thank you for being so loyal to her. She means it from the bottom of her heart. She’s also dreaming of the day she can pop their fucking heads. Touching you. Talking to you. Trying to turn you against her… they’ve crossed her last line. 
Carrie White - The moment she sees you she’s in hysterics: “Oh, Angel, what happened?!” You’re really gonna sit there and not tell her anything? She’s worked herself into an anxiety attack within seconds. She can hardly open the first aid kit, she’s shaking so bad. The sound of your voice is always so soothing for her that you’ll start telling her the story just to have something to say. She listens quietly while she cleans you up. You’ll have to pull her into your lap before long, and kiss her gently. You’re all she has in the world and it scares her to death to think of you putting yourself in unnecessary danger. You’ll fall asleep curled into each other’s arms. You whisper soft reassurances: “Nothing’s gonna happen to me / I’ll always be here.” Carrie tries her best to listen. You’ll wake up alone, but wander downstairs just as Carrie walks through the front door. She wanted to get her knight in shining armor some breakfast from your favorite diner down the street. She watches you eat with a big smile, and thinks about how she’ll have to burn those clothes in the trunk of the car. She couldn't risk them trying to hurt you again.
Ginger Fitzgerald - Don’t piss her off. If you don’t tell her exactly who touched you she’ll rip the entire city apart. Women, children, men, everyone. Anyone. “Do you want me to do that? Huh, baby? Is that what you want me to do?” No? Then start talking. She won’t be able to see through the blood-lust long enough to take care of you. As soon as you say a name Ginger’s out the door. She’ll only return once she’s thoroughly covered in viscera and gore. She’s still dripping with it when she crawls into bed with you, smearing the blood across your body. She’ll lick at any injury you have, until they’re clean and closed, your skin smooth and unblemished. She’s the only thing that can leave marks on you. She’ll kill anything else that tries. “You don’t have to lift a finger for me, baby. If you want someone hurt, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you.” Just run your fingers through her hair and try not to cringe as your fingertips get stained red. 
Patricia (Split) - She’s devastated by the state you come home in after she allows you to go out on a walk all by yourself for the first time since you were…. taken. You’d been so good for her. So obedient. So sweet. She wanted to reward you. And now your eye is starting to bruise, and your clothes are all askew, and your knuckles are swollen. Her calm demeanor cracks, and it’s a struggle to stay in the light. She takes deep breaths, centers herself. None of the others are what you need, right now. You need her. She strips you down, runs you a bath, won’t even let you hold the washcloth. It’s only as she’s patting you dry that she can force out words, finally: “What happened to you, sweet thing, hmm?” The guilt nearly brings her to tears. Months of keeping you close and look at what just a pinch of negligence has done to you… You try to assuage her guilt. You tell her you ran into a neighbor, who’d seen the two of you out together once Patricia trusted you enough to accompany her for little things like grocery trips. You say it’s your fault you came back to her in this condition. That you just couldn’t stand the vile things they said about her. Her face drops into an expression you’ve never seen. It’s gone in an instant, replaced by that comforting, ever present smile she wears for you. She takes you by the chin and kisses your forehead: “My little sweet thing. Playing knight, are you?” You had her love before. Tentatively, you had something like trust. Now Patricia trusts you completely. Even so, you won’t be going out alone again. Patricia trusts you. But it’s clear she can’t trust the world to be gentle with you. Don’t worry, though. All you need to do is ask, when you want to feel the sun on your face. You never see that neighbor again, no matter what time of day you and Patricia go walking.
A/N: thank you!!! we need more batshit crazy women with something wrong with them! Batshit crazy women with something wrong with them unite! if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writer's fuel is engagement. Xoxoxo
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Text
EEEEEEven more incorrect quotes! Merlin Academy Gang! AND MORE. Kinda long? Idk
(and ships)
Hook: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?
Uliana: It's Hades's turn.
Hades: Don't die.
Uliana, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.
(so beautiful 😭 I don't know how to explain, but this is canon now)
---
Maleficent : Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first.
Fay: *sobbing*
Maleficent : Look, I'm not sure where to go with that.
(She's used to her and Hades banter and fights. Fay still needs to get used to that)
---
Fay: What the hell is wrong with you?
Hades: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.
(mm. Yeah.)
---
Hook: Goodnight to the love of my life, Morgie, and fuck the rest of y'all.
(just a normal day)
---
Morgie: *is throwing stones at Ella's window*
Ella: You have a phone for a reason, Morgie!
*THUD*
Ella: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!
(Love my little chaos goblin. He absolutely knew what he was doing)
---
Ella: Hey, I was wondering, have any of you guys ever seen Morgie’s bedroom?
Bridget: No, they refuse to let any of us visit. You know what that means.
Maleficent, nodding: Dungeon.
Hades, nodding: Rich.
Uliana , nodding: Homeless.
Ella, nodding: Secretly in the mafia.
Bridget: What? No, I meant they’re messy. What the hell is wrong with all of you?
(Hook not being there because he's in Morgie's bedroom right now. they are cuddling)
---
Ella: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Bridget.
Fay: You just said it again.
Bridget:
Ella: I am not a role model.
(don't worry Ella. She knows worse. She just doesn't use them)
---
Bridget: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.
(once she went back to wonderland and didn't text anyone anything. Just sulking in her feelings for Ella)
---
Hades: How do you do that?
Charming: I'm fearless.
Hook: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad.
Charming: I'm mostly fearless.
(Mhm. But fair)
---
Bridget, on the phone: I better go…kay, call me later… byeeee!
Hook: Friend of Yours?
Bridget: Nope, wrong number.
Hook: ???
(Hey. She's not gonna pass on making new friends 🤷)
---
(add some glassheart)
Chloe: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?
Red: What did you just say-
Chloe: Foetons! *Laughs*
Red: Wh-what?
(love how Red is just confused. Chloe making puns/dad jokes. Canon, actually)
---
Ella: Please pray for Chloe.
Bridget: What happened to them?
Ella: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.
(not her own mother saying that (he doesn't know tho lol). But honestly that's after the vase incident.)
---
Red: Chloe, you're my best friend.
Chloe: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.
Chloe: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!
(oop- true)
---
*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*
Morgie/Fay: Would never stab anyone.
Ella/Charming: Would stab someone in retaliation.
Hook/Maleficent: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.
Hades: Would stab without warning.
Uliana/Bridget: Would stab as a warning.
(I wanted to put Bridget in the last one lol. Like if someone went too far and hurt one of her friends she'd be like *stab* don't do it again or next time it will be worse)
---
Uliana: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.
Bridget: Those are wanted posters!
(yeah. Still)
---
Maleficent: *looks at Hades*
Maleficent: Baby boy. Bad Boy.
Maleficent: *looks at Fay*
Maleficent: goody two shoes
(changed it a bit lol. Also Me just randomly shipped Maleficent and Fay because gay. Just a crack ship lol)
---
Red: I got an idea!
Chloe: Does it involve breaking the law?
Red: By now don’t you think that’s a given?
Chloe: I was just trying to be optimistic.
Red: Don’t bother.
(GOTTA GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY! UwU)
---
Chloe: You're not my friend anymore.
Red: I was your friend?
(Red. You just called her your best friend a few seconds ago! She's just trying to play it cool. She's screaming on the inside.)
---
Red: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.
Red: Me too!
(oh no. She's mad. PSST. I HAVE THREE ACCOUNTS ON DISCORD AND ACTED LIKE TWO OF THEM WEREN'T ME. I HAD CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS ONLINE AND I WAS BORED 😭 I was very invested in my own dramas that I created. It also started with only two accounts 🫠)
---
Queen of Hearts, to Red: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.
Red: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.
Queen of Hearts: You just told me you're pregnant.
Maddox: Congratulations Red, you're glowing!
(Red can speak Italian and Spanish and also has a hidden British accent. There, my new headcanon)
---
(a little surprise)
Mal, staring lovingly at Evie: I would die for you.
Evie, doing their own thing: Then perish.
(Mal, you know not to interrupt Evie while she's working)
---
Mal: As a responsible adult-
Evie: *chuckles*
Mal: … As a responsible adult—
(Eeeviee, don't do Mal dirty like that. Even if you aren't wrong)
---
Evie: What do I get?
Mal: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.
Evie: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.
Mal: It won't be you.
Evie: I'll get my coat.
(what are they planning o~o)
---
Cinderella: What’s your greatest weakness?
Red: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics.
Cinderella: Could you give an example?
Red: Yes, I could.
(why does it feel relatable even tho I don't remember actually having done that)
---
Red: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.
Chloe: Ok.
Red: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?
(Same Red, same Qvq)
---
Red, digging their grave: Long story short, this is ma grave.......Want me to make you one too?
(Omg Hunter! Is that you? ✨ love the owl house 😭😭😭. This is making me think Red fucked up a mission from her Mom. Like Hunter did.)
---
Red: I’m going to get so much done today.
Queen of Hearts: I’ll hold you to that.
*8 hours later*
Queen of Hearts: So how much did you get done?
Red: One thing.
Queen of Hearts:
Queen of Hearts: Well, that’s one more than usual.
(QvQ me TvT)
---
Mal, at Evie: You're my significant other.
Evie: Yeah I am!
Mal, at Celia: You're my child.
Celia: Yes boss.
Mal, at Uma: You're my bitch.
Uma: Yeah I am- wait, what?
Mal, at Carlos: My bestie.
Carlos: Naturally.
Mal, Jay: HA, GAY!
Jay: Fuck you.
(Jay x Gil 🤸)
---
Chloe: Wow! Celia made you cry?
Red, holding back tears: Yes, and they said some really mean things that are only partly true.
(Daaamn. She can do that tho. Wow fr)
---
*at an awards show*
Chloe: Can I carry you on my back like Mal did?
Red: I don't think Evie would like that.
Chloe: *pouts*
*Later*
Chloe: *carrying Red on their back*
Evie: What the hell??
Red: What was I supposed to do? Say no?
(Evie was panicking over Chloe's suit/dress because she made it for her. Do not ruin her designs. She will not take responsibility for what happens after that)
---
This was gonna be longer but I shall post it now anyway.
Hope you liked it.
Byeee
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cheeseceli · 8 months
Text
When your parents don't like them
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Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader (individually)
Genre: reverse hurt/comfort? Angst? A little bit of fluff perhaps; reaction
Description: their reaction to not having the approval of your parents in their first meeting (established relationship)
Warnings: not proofread; a lot of overthinking and self doubt in most of the scenarios; the length of each story is not favouritsm!! It's just that some scenarios required more details than others
A/n: I should have posted this one a long time ago... Oh well. And I am literally the mix of Han and Lee Know, this would 100% happen to me if I were in their shoes
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Bang Chan
‌HE'S SO SHOCKED
‌Parents always love him, so why didn't yours?
‌He believes he took it for granted
‌But he was so sure your family would love him
‌Rethinks everything he said and did
‌And thinks about what he could've done
‌He'll be up all night because of it, you better believe me
"Maybe it's the outfit I was wearing?"
"Chan, for God's sake, go to sleep."
"Seriously though, do you think my clothes weren't appropriate?"
"There was nothing wrong with how you looked baby."
"... So maybe I didn't introduce myself properly?"
"Chan."
Lee Know
‌ He knew he had to talk
‌ But it turns out he was too scared
‌And your parents just aggravated his problem
‌ He'd give only short answers and would only speak when spoken with
‌ Because of that your parents didn't see him as a really charismatic guy
‌ But I swear he was trying his best
"I swear it wasn't as bad as it seemed."
"It was horrible. I doubt any of your parents even know what my voice sounds like."
"You were nervous. I'm sure they'll understand. If you'd like I can talk to them about it."
"Please, don't. The last thing I want is for your parents to think that besides being awkward I'm a coward as well."
"They don't think either of those things. You'll see, you guys just need to know each other a little bit more. They'll love you."
Even with his worried expression, he gave you a small smile "I hope so".
Changbin
‌ You warned him he was getting too close
‌ He was holding your hand, caressing your thigh, hugging you too tight, kissing you a lot...
‌ All the time
‌ And yes, you both were dating for a while now
‌ But your parents didn't really appreciate the attitude
‌ And truly, he thought that by doing that he was showing how much he treasured and loved you
‌ Sadly your parents didn't understand his actions like he planned
"But what was I supposed to do? Stay away from you?"
"Ideally, yes"
Changbin pouted, not even realising it "but I'm your boyfriend"
"They are not used to this fact just yet. Don't worry though, they still have a lot of time to like you. Just wait and see"
Hyunjin
‌ Similar to Chan, Hyunjin didn't expect to be rejected by your parents
‌of course, he wasn't expecting to make the fall in love immediately, but he knew he had some charms
‌and he actually put a lot of effort into impressing them so when it doesn't work he's like
‌genuinely sad
‌And he's scared your relationship might change now that he doesn't have your family approval right away.
"So... About the dinner"
"They are always like this, don't worry"
"How come?"
"I knew they were gonna play hard to get. But don't you stress over it, sooner or later they will realise there is no need to act like it"
"So I can still convince them into not hating me?"
"Why would they hate you? You were really boyfriend material if you ask me"
He laughed, a little bit more relieved "They were kinda... aggressive back there, y'know?"
"Ugh, sorry about that. I swear things will get better"
"You're not mad?"
"Of course not. Why would I be?"
"I thought you'd get sad or something like that since the meeting didn't go that well"
"I'm a bit sad, yeah. But it's not your fault. You did your best. Besides, it won't last that long. It's kinda hard to hate on the Hwang Hyunjin for too long"
He laughed again, openly this time as he replied "I hope you are right"
Han
‌The problem wasn't exactly what he did
‌The problem was that he didn't do anything
‌Literally anything
‌ He'd excuse himself to go to the bathroom to avoid any questions
‌He barely moved besides that
‌After a while your dad even forgot he was there
‌And Han wished he could disappear
"I'm so, so sorry"
"Ji, it's okay"
"I was gonna answer your mother, I swear. But she was looking at me with daggers in her eyes"
"You were just fine"
"Fine? Y/n, your dad sighed in relief after I left the room. They must see me as a loser"
"I'm sure they don't. Besides, you still have a lot of time left to win them over. I know they'll love you"
Felix
‌Your parents loved him actually
‌They just don't think he is fit to be your boyfriend
‌They think that his angel face and sweet personality wouldn't give you enough security throughout your life
‌And Felix wants to prove himself to your parents so badly now
‌He will use his deep voice privilege to try to prove his point
‌He will go to the gym with Changbin until he's "intimidating" enough
‌And he won't fail on reminding them how he has over 60 medals on taekwondo
"How do I look?"
"Great, as always"
"But do I look intimidating? Scary?"
"Lix..."
"But not too scary. I need to look threatening to others but reliable to you"
"You look like someone my parents will like"
"They already like me, but not enough to like our relationship"
"They will though. Soon enough they will appreciate everything that comes along with you, trust me."
Felix smiled and nodded, feeling a certain comfort into your words as you headed to the door
"Just for the record, you do look threatening but reliable"
"Oh thank you. I was going crazy over this"
Seungmin
‌If your parents don't like Seungmin then the problem is on them
‌just kidding
‌Seriously though, I can't imagine why they wouldn't like him
‌And neither can Seungmin himself
‌So he truly thinks that everything was a misunderstanding and that it's only a matter of time until your whole family falls in love with him
‌He will face it like a challenge
"What about we invite your parents to our apartment this weekend?"
"We just saw them less than an hour ago"
"I think we should see them again"
"Did you like them that much?"
"They seem cool. But they also seem to hate me. I need to change their minds"
"What? They didn't hate you at all"
"Your father's glare would disagree. But that doesn't matter that much because by the end of this week they will love me"
"You seem certain"
"Of course I am. I can't have them hating me for the rest of our lives, can I?"
"They don't hate you. They are just... hard to please"
"I'll change this" he faced you with a confident smile "I give you my word"
I.N
‌Kinda clueless
‌Totally clueless actually
‌He can't understand what he did wrong but apparently he did something awful considering your parents disliked him that much
‌Will try to find ways to apologise
‌Will gift them and try to keep a conversation even when you're not around
"Does your mother like flowers? She does, right? Every mother does"
"What are you doing?"
"You said that she invited us to lunch this Friday. I don't want to go see her with empty hands again. Maybe that's what made her hate me so much the first time"
"She doesn't care about those things, Innie"
"No? Then why doesn't she like me?"
"She's just hard to satisfy, you know. But I bet she'll like you in no time. She just needs to get to know you better"
"You keep saying that but I don't know, I feel like that won't happen any time soon. I really want her to approve me"
He had that hopeless expression again, that one that really wanted to change the situation but didn't know how to. You really hated seeing him disappointed on himself.
"Lilies" you said
"What?"
"Those are my mother's favourites. Lilies"
"Oh my God, thank you" he got up and kissed the top of your head lightly, before going to the door of your shared apartment "I'll be right back"
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Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! | masterlist
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factual-fantasy · 1 month
Note
TUNA I'VE FAILED YOU OH YOU DELICIOUS PIECE OF MY HEART HOW'VE YOU BEEN MY DEAREST PUREST LITTLE GUY??!??
Since the last post you made about him I've been wanting to ScReAM my love for him but I never had the time and the energy at the same time! D: until now >:]
BECAUSE WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS?!
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THE SMILE! THE FONDNESS! THE "I KNOW IM LOVED" THAT THIS DRAWING SCREAMS IS MAKING ME SO INSANE I LOVE SO MUCH HERE
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Now, continuing to be an acceptable member of the Tuna Lover society.
TUNA YOU'RE THE ABSOLUTE BEST THING EVER.
Hold yourself because I have 0 self control when it comes to ramble about my specialist little guy and I'm afraid I wrote quite a lot.
Tuna looks like he is so tired. Look at him! His whole body language is screaming "I'm so tired but i dont really think sleep cluld help me". What did this rascal do that he's so tired? I wonder, but for some reason he looks more like being emotionally tired than anything. Poor bean! Did he had a rough week? A bad day? Is he feeling down? Maybe he's just tired for no specific reason, it happens sometimes. I wish I could cup him in my hands and pat his head softly as I rock him to sleep because he's so my baby :'[ <3
Ellie oh you heart of gold woman how lucky is the crew you're a part of it! Like seriously. She looked at this sad teen and said: not under my watch young boy. And went to cook his fauvorite rolls??!? She's so grannie coded I need her in my daily life you have no clue (oh no I got nostalgyc-). She's trying to hype him up and she's not just silently sliding the rolls under his hands. She's actually talking with him and something about physical contact. WAIT. IS THAT IT? IS TUNA SO VERY TOUCH STARVED THAT THIS IS HIS REACTION? OOOUGH MY HEART CANT HANDLE IT. I'll follow this train of thought later. (🚂)
Like. She's so gentle, so careful, so... She's really making sure she does all she can to lift up the spirits of that young man!
Because the way he's looking at her... the fondness.. the care and gratefulness????? Oh dear momma fish I'm dying. He's looking at her so sweetly! So gratefull! He's screaming "thanks for being a part of my life" without his mouth. He's screaming "I am so gratefull you love me" with his only one eye and I'm so down for it. I need more of them. They warm my fish heart so much... She's the grannie he never asked for bur always needed! Y'know? He's capable of looking at someone like that after all he's gone through and if that doesn't make me want to cry I don't know what does. Because that's just... OUGH I CANT WITH THEM HE HAS SUCH A TRAGYC BACKSTORY AND FEELS LIKE NO ONE LIKES HIM AND THEN THIS OLD LADY IS LIKE: YEAH, ILL BAKE HIM SONETHING SO HE CHEERS UP??!??! I NEED THEM HUGGING I NEED THEM BONDING I NEED THEM BEING A MEANACE TOGERHER BECAUSE OHMYGOD WHAT I WOULDNT GIVE TO SEE THIS TWO BEING LIKE THIS EVERYDAY.
A tiny part of me kinda wants to see one of them hurted really bad and the other protecting, but the other part of me is terrified of the mental implications it would have. Especially if it's ellie the one hurted. Oh no, no, let's end that thought there for my own sake 🫠
BECAUSE ELLIE IS JUST... SHE JUST BAKES HIM HIS FAUVORITR, I REPEAT, FAVOURITE THINGS WITHOUT HIM ASKING FOR IT.
Ok, returning with that train of thought (🚂)... I probably have alredy rambled about this before, but... When was the last time someone hold this guy gently? I mean, not even hold, but just... touch him without meaning harm? Or more precisely, when was the last time someone touched him with care? With fondness? With the intention to lift his spirit? To make him smile, at least a little tiny eety beety winesy bit?
She puts hers hand on his shoulder and he jumps, freezing with his mouth full of delicious food. It's her. Of course it's her, they were chatting alone in the kitchen, although it felt more a monologue as Ellie cooked than an actual conversation. He was too in his mind to really listen. The sudden contact was what made him blink with his only eye, staring at the caring old eyes of the lady at his right. It was nice. Warm and rough hands squeezed his arm softly, fully aware that she had startled him. She looked at him with a fond smile and placed the fresh rolls in front of him. "There, you better enjoy them boy!" She may or may not say. Thing is, his eye goes to the hot, delicious food, and then he realizes. The hand is still there. Gentle. Almost can't feel it. It's. Why? It's strange. It should hurt. But it didn't. Of course it made sense, but why? Of course it didn't! It was Ellie! And then the realization hits. All in a matter of seconds. Ellie would never lay a harming hand on him. And he felt... He felt.
"You can't eat literally with your eyes, you do know that, do you?" He forgot he was eating. He smiled. And seeing that smile made her smile too. After all, how couldn't she? That wasn't something she saw everyday! Much less in such a sincere way! He was just... smiling at her. Oh she felt so happy! "I'm glad you like those! If you want more just tell me!" Oh wasn't he in the verge of tears? Happy tears! Him! Oh. The realization hitted like a truck. (Or like a ship? What's the equivalent? Idk, like a punch of Louis if you please.) He was cared for. He was loved. There were hands in this world that weren't meant to harm him. He just smiled, fondness burning in his chest like a wildfire because how this woman can change a man via kindness/food.
What is so crazy is that maybe he's just staring lovingly at the lady that cares for him. Because he feels like he's a rock on the boots of the crew most of the time but he's good at what he does so they bare with him. Maybe he feels they don't want him around but... but this lady does. And isn't he gratefull for it? Isn't he so happy she's around? She touches his only arm in such a gentle way? The other won't feel kindness never again, did it ever felt it? Not punches, not grabs, no, just... placing her hand there. Like he isn't an animal with the rabbies but actually a just really fucked up little guy who is terrified of people because people gave him reasons to and barks and bites but is, at the end, very lonely and afraid because he pushed everyone away. Except for this lady. He tried. He bited and barked until he realized she doesn't care, that she alredy saw the scared guy he was and didn't cared. She didn't cared. She cared so much more than anyone that she didn't cared! She wasn't afraid! She wasn't going away! If anything, she sitted closer as time passed. And suddenly, a pet on the head. A so waited, so dreamed, so strange, so scary! Pat on the head. Gentle. Not like those who grabbed him to calm him down and only made him bark and bite with more energy. No. Gentle. It was new. It was nice. But he was afraid. Afraid. How long until she hits? He thinks. But she never hits. She brings him treats. Suspicious. But... not so... Why? It's just that he isn't used to see someone care. But she cares. And she doesn't goes away. And she doesn't turn her back. If anything, only to take the rolls out of the oven!
He doesn't thinks all that in the moment. He just wants. Oh. That felt nice. But was kinda unexpected. It's later at night that he thinks, if his three neurons decide to work. Mayne this is how his complex being feels but his tint neurons don't know how to think. He just loves and cares about the lovely woman that cares and loves back. I need more of them. They mean everything to me at this point factual I'm descending to madness.
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AWROROOGOOGGHHHHGGGGG YOUR LOVE FOR TUNA FUELS MY SOULLL!!!! 😭😭THSNKYIUUUUU!!!😭😭💞💞💞💞
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cherrymoon4 · 6 months
Note
hello ^^ ( thank you sososo much for the love on the other posts! send me requests if you want :P )
hiya!! <3333
honestly don't want to pressure you by requesting xxx
buttttt i love, love, love the way you write suguru xxx
so i'd be happy with anything with him <33333
whether it be a continuation of a similar dynamic with the curses aftertaste fic or something else entirely...
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Roommate!Suguru would be so possessive and yummy.
Initially, when you first moved in the apartment, he didn't really care much about you. He knew you had a pretty face and were kinda shy, but that's all.
But as time went on and you opened yourself up to him, he began to get quite obsessed with you. He would be all over you as soon as he stepped foot in your apartment; and you would let him, after all he was just being friendly! right?
It didn't matter that anytime he would hug you from behind you would feel something hard pressing against the small of your back. It was probably just his phone in his pocket!
And you're sure that it's your mind doing tricks on you whenever you hear the bathroom door open while you take a shower. He would never ever spy on you, you were sure.
So when you come home from a terrible date, the first thing you do is rush over to him, your pretty eyes filled with tears, and throw yourself in his arms.
He was quite pissed off from the moment you told him you were going on a date. I mean, you have a perfectly good man at home! Why would you even consider seeing someone else?
Suguru always took good care of you. He always pampered and spoiled you, and every time you would think that he was just being generous.
I mean, he had a big reputation as a respectful and kind guy, especially among girls; his giving personality was what attracted them, his deep, soothing voice and his looks were a plus.
So obviously you thought he was just being his kind self when he took your teary eyed face in his hands and wrapped you up in his arms, engulfing your entire body as if protecting you.
But you couldn't deny the warmth in your belly as he whispered in your ear and rubbed your back, listening intently while you vented about how horrible your date was.
And the whole time he was just subtly smiling to himself, knowing that you would always come back to him; that even if you convinced yourself that you were just friends, deep down you knew that you were meant for him.
"It's not your fault, darling. He wouldn't be able to take care of you properly anyway, not like I do. But you know that, don't you baby? You know no one can compare to me, right?" he mumbled condescendingly, taking your puffy cheeks in his hands and tilting your head upwards to look at him in the eye.
God, you were so fucking precious. Especially like this, all pouty and teary-eyed, soft and pliant in his hands.
"Told you that you should've stayed home with your Sugu, but you just had to be a little brat and not listen to me, mh?"
And you know that if you had listened to him you wouldn't be in this position, you know that he's right.
So when his hands start to wander all over your body while he says that he "just wants to make ya feel better", you just nod and let him.
You don't know what you did to deserve him!
He's too kind, you think as his hands rub your waist and wander lower.
You think he's such a good friend when he pulls your panties down, his fingers rubbing your little clit to "make the sad go away".
And when your legs are over his shoulders, his cock nestled deep inside you and your tummy bulging, you think he's the best friend ever!
He smirks down at you, and he knows he's got you hooked when he sees your eyes crossing and your legs shaking.
"Look at you, already dumb on my cock. You love it, don't you baby? Yeah you do, f-fuck.." he plunges so hard in your little hole, biting his lip to stifle the moans coming out of his mouth.
He knows this is where you belong: your body pressed into the mattress, your pretty pussy stretching around his fat shaft, your wetness creating a pretty ring of cream coating the base of his cock, your pink nails (that he paid for) drawing red stripes across his back;
and maybe then he realizes that he's the one wrapped around your finger, when he fills your little cunt up to the brim with his hot cum, and a small part of him wishes that it takes. maybe then you would only think about him, you'll realize that he's all you truly need, and you for him <3
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hiiii! thank u so much for the request (sorry for answering late) i don’t really love this but wtv! hope u do😚
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absolutebl · 1 month
Note
We've had recent disappointments with the endings to series. For me, Last Twilight, Only Friends, and 23.5 stand out. While I loved the Sign to the end, there was that unexplained Tharn getting his freedom from Chalothorn, which made the very ending not quite perfect. And while I loved Century of Love all the way through, I know some folks were disappointed at the ending.
What are some QLs that you consider to have really strong endings?
OOOO what a great question!
10 BLs With the Strongest Endings
Some BLs had better endings than the rest of the show deserved, and some were saved by the ending, while still others built up to a good ending throughout. So I suspect it kinda depends on ones definition of strong. But here are mine (you'll never guess what's at the top? but...) it's in no particular order
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Seven Days - no but ACTUALLY think about it. That ending is truly phenomenal. It ties everything together, gives hope for their relationship without being cheesy AND is crazy romantic, plus it brings the narrative full circle. That ending shot, the direction, the plot, the characters, and the story ALL tied in a neat little bow. It ends by indicating that something is starting for them, something familiar it's just now they are together. Fabulous.
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Light On Me - on the beach, the whole friendship group, the kiss that mirrors their couple habit of cheek squiging? Peak YA BL. It reminded me of Make it Right, and that's no bad thing... for me.
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Our Dating Sim - domestic boyfriends and then the pan over to all their couple photos. So exactly them.
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To My Star - yeah, the sex scene, but remember this was when we finally realized that JiWoo not only liked him all along but actually desired him all along. The tsundere character breaking open for us to see the soft underbelly. Suddenly, all of his behavior made sense in retrospect. They used the final ultra romantic sex scene as a CHARACTER REVEAL. Fucking genius.
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Semantic Error - the BOYFRIENDS of it all, the harken back to both the anime and the manga (with that spank bank file), the teasing and then the breaking of the forth wall. It was multiple cheeky punches out to the audience in a tiny stinger of a scene. Not to mention it had a kind of BL "ending fairy" thing that connected to them both being idols. Perfectly executed.
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Love For Love's Sake - back in beach territory but wow. I mean this show starts with an ending. And it takes a lot for me to believe in the happiness of a parable about death and self worth. They managed it with this show. But that ending was killer.
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My Beautiful Man - the ending made me reassess everything about the show, the story, and the characters. The ending made me love the show. It changed my mind. It BLEW my mind. I might have kinda lost my mind. In real time.
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Unknown - there were struggles with this show and not everyone enjoyed the ending but I totally flipping loved it. FINALLY. You can't tell me that "you don't even know what I dream of" line doens't live in your head rent free.
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Unintentional Love Story - not the ending scene so much as the whole final episode, it's so good. It brings the story together, we get multiple big realizations, sad baby, learning that baby was abused too, defending baby, baby defending himself. RINGS!
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The Eighth Sense - so much peak boyfriend after so much angst. The casual language play and teasing, the stealing of the drink, just everything, and also how very very college it all is.
10 Others I just LOVE
Be Loved In House: I Do - ultra pasteurized cheese fest
Laws of Attraction - THE CAPED WEDDING OUTFITS
About Youth - rainbow kiss cheese fest
Long Time No See - BLOOD COVERED KISSES
Restart After Come Back Home - the pan around lens flare kiss and everything it MEANS
Bad Buddy - It was so CLEVER
DNA Says Love You - the claiming and then the tussle at the cafe? Gorgeous. Adorable. No notes.
Oh! Boarding House - a family gathering while the dads are holding hands behind the couch, adorable
Where Your Eyes Linger - that damn glow up
Tinted With You - perhaps... poly?
Wow... so few Thai BL. I guess this is Korea's strength in the BL sphere? Also more Japan than I expected and outsized rep for Taiwan. (I actually could have stuck a few more from Taiwan on here but they just get SO CHEESY.)
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(source)
dated mid August 2024, not responsible for great endings after that date
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wearethecyclones · 9 days
Text
Tbh having BuckTommy thoughts on this Tuesday morning.
Imagine if their first fight comes about because Tommy gets hurt, or is presumed hurt for a bit. (Helicopter accident, Tommy ends up fine etc whatever.) Buck fusses over him a lot because he was so worried and he’s so relieved but he’s also being hypervigilant. Making sure he takes his pain killers with food, making sure he’s icing his shoulder, meal prepping for him so he can just warm stuff up, etc.
And Tommy just isn’t used to that. Tommy is used to deflecting with humor and being flippant. So we see a little of that vibe you get from him in s7. The “we’re all gonna die” and the “your dad’s alive” and the making a joke about needing a wing at the hospital for the 118 energy. (To be clear, I don’t think any of that is problematic or unkind.)
So he kinda hits Buck with a flippant comment like “maybe I should get hurt more often” or “I didn’t lose a leg this time” or whatever. And after a few of those, Buck loses his patience and is like “this is serious to me. I was scared I was going to lose you. I was scared you were going to be really hurt.” And Tommy tries to assure him like “yeah I get that, Evan, but I’m fine. You don’t have to baby me.”
And that turns into a little bit of a back and forth kinda argument. Buck saying he understands the risks of the job, he knows he’s fine this time, and this is how he’s coping with the fear and relief. Tommy saying that he understands that but he doesn’t NEED it. Buck frustrated and asking him why he’s resisting this, do they have a bigger problem here? Why are you being so flippant about this?
And finally, Tommy is just frustrated and resigned and says, “I’m not being flippant. I’m not used to this. I’ve never had this before. I don’t know what to do with it.”
Because he hasn’t really had someone to nurse him back to health since his mom or grandma when he was real tiny. And he’s always just had to shake things off and take care of himself. He didn’t even MIND that, he’s self-sufficient and tough.
Buck has always had Maddie or he’s had the 118. He’s always been hungry for the love and care and accepts it when it comes. After the lightning strike he was overwhelmed by it, sure, so he hid from it but he sought out the kind of care he actually needed and wanted instead. So he doesn’t get that.
Buck just tells Tommy, “You don’t have to do anything with it, just accept it. Or tell me to fuck off if that’s what you want.”
“It feels like it costs something.”
��With me, it doesn’t.”
“I don’t want to tell you to fuck off.”
“Then I won’t.”
“Then please let me deflect a little, I don’t know how to do this yet.”
And it’s suuuch a promise that he’ll try and that he wants to get used to Buck’s attention and care. And Buck is so sad that Tommy doesn’t know what to do with it but he’s also soooo into this guy.
End scene. I gotta stop avoiding my job now bye besties
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wwilsonbarness · 1 year
Text
stay?
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pairings:  bucky barnes x reader
summary: after one date with Bucky Barnes your life takes a turn for the worst.
warnings: awkward first date (kinda), violence, angst, fluff, sexual assault (warning just in case), kidnapping, sad bucky, sad reader, sadness lol (let me know if i forgot anything pleasee)
word count: 4170
a/n: enjoy :)
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) 
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
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Your pinky finger was slowly inching towards his as he walked you up the steps to your door. It had been the perfect evening, starting off with a dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants in the city, then a couple games of mini golf followed by cheeseburgers because both of you agreed the portions at “WOZ” were nowhere near enough. You’d met Bucky through one of your friends, and if you were being honest the idea of dating an Avenger was very intimidating but she insisted you would be ‘perfect together’. 
“Thank you for tonight Bucky, I had a really good time.” You’d grown more confident as the night went on but now that the date was ending you were back to your shy self. You didn’t want the night to end and even though you’d only met Bucky a few hours ago you had felt an instant connection. It really felt like how the movies made first dates look. 
“I had a good time too, would..” He stops himself and you can tell he’s feeling nervous, so you smile up at him, silently asking him to continue. You see his shoulders loosen once he sees your smile, “..would you maybe wanna do this aga-..?” 
“Yes.” You answer before he can even finish his sentence. 
“You do?” 
“I do.” You were internally beating yourself up for being so awkward but you couldn’t help but jump at the chance at seeing Bucky again. What you didn’t know that was Bucky was doing the same thing, Steve had always described him as being smooth with the ladies but right now it was like all his flirting skills had completely disappeared. 
“I erm, I better get going, but I’ll call you!” 
“I’ll be waiting!” You cringed at yourself, why did you have to be so awkward? 
“See you doll.” Bucky flashes you a smile - which has become one of your favourite sights in the very short time you’ve known him - before he starts to walk down the steps. You wave to him as he walks away and wait until you can no longer see him before you close your door. 
You drop your bag on the counter, untie your shoes and start to unzip your dress as you walk to your bedroom before a knock at your door stops you. You don’t think twice before going over and opening the knock, the only logical person it could be was Bucky. Right? 
“Back alrea- Oh. Hi?” It wasn’t Bucky, it was a man with short black hair and tattoos and a black hood covering most of his face. “Can I help you?”
“You Y/N Y/L/N?” The man grunts at you in return.
“I am.. Who are you?” As soon as you answer him you regret it, it goes against every piece of advice you’d been given about being safe as a woman in the city. 
“You don’t need to know who I am sweetheart.” Your heartbeat was beginning to speed up now, panic setting in fast. You try to close your door as quickly as you can but his foot stops you. 
He begins to shake his head, “Uh uh, I don’t think so.” he pushes forward and you fall backwards landing on the floor. 
Your eyes were beginning to well up and you were frozen in fear, this was it wasn’t it? You’re gonna die right here. 
“Stop being such a baby jesus fucking christ.” He paced around your apartment a little, his jacket moving slightly which makes the gun he has in the back of his jeans become visible.
“P-Please, you can take anything you want. Just please don’t hurt me” You pleaded to him, hoping somehow there was a tiny part of him that would listen. 
“I’m not gonna hurt you.” You sighed deeply thinking there was a chance you’d get out of this alive, but if he wasn’t going to hurt you what was he planning to do?
“What do..what do you want from me?” 
“I’m just here to take ya to the big man.” 
You didn’t think you could feel any more scared than you already did, but the mention of “the big man” terrified you. Why were they targeting you? 
“Do me a favour, would ya sweetheart? Stop talking.” He smirked down at you which only made you feel worse, it looked like he was enjoying this. 
You were too scared to say anything else, and he was focusing on his phone instead of you. Part of you was tempted to try and escape but you were still frozen in fear, you had no defence skills and probably wouldn’t get very far and you really didn’t wanna piss this guy off anymore. 
Around 10 minutes pass of you sitting on the floor, wracking your brain to find any reason as to why someone would want to kidnap you. You weren't anything special, and you hadn’t even lived in New York for that long. 
“Get up. He’s ready for ya.” You get to your feet shakily and wait for him to tell you what to do next. 
“Go on then.” He shoves you towards the door, and follows behind you. As you near the door you feel something hard against your back. “Make any noise and I’ll use it.” Shit. You didn’t say anything back, just nodding to show you understood.
After you get into his car he drives for what feels like hours to an underground garage, you tried to memorise the route you went but it was hopeless. You’d never been to this side of the city before. A few minutes walk later and you’re standing outside an office, you assume this is the guy who sent someone to hunt you down. 
The door opens and you get pushed in, stumbling a little before you find your balance. There are two men waiting in there, who look you up and down before smirking. 
“Soldier chooses them well.” The taller one says to his shorter friend. 
“Sure does. Shame he’ll never see her again.” 
Soldier? Are they talking about Bucky? 
“What do you want from me?” You tried to keep your voice calm but you could tell it came out laced with fear. 
“You’ll find out soon enough.” The shorter man walks towards you and trials his finger over the edge of your dress. “All you need to worry about is standing here and looking pretty, sweetheart.” 
—----- 
On the other side of the city the soldier in question was sitting discussing ‘the best night of his life’ with Sam, who was silently judging how his friend was acting. 
“And everytime she told me a joke she'd wait a couple seconds before laughing to make sure I found it funny first. And when she laughs her nose scrunches up, it’s so adorable. And everytime i told her she looked nice she’d do this thing where she bites her lip and she can’t look me in the eye. It’s ad-“
“Adorable. I get it, Buck.”
Bucky blushes as he realises how long he’d been speaking about you, but he can’t help it. He’s never met someone like you before and he can’t stop thinking about you since he left your doorstep. 
“How long is an acceptable time before I call her?” Bucky knows Sam is probably sick of hearing about you but he’s Bucky’s favourite (and only) person he feels safe enough to talk to, not that he’d ever tell Sam that. 
Sam looks at the imaginary watch on his wrist before answering. “Not 3 hours Buck.” A frown appears on Bucky’s face to which Sam snickers at. “I thought you were a ladies man.” 
“I was. Things are different now.” Bucky tries to force a smile out but he can’t. His voice grows a lot quieter as he continues. “Do you think she doesn’t want me to call?” 
“Hey, I didn’t say that! The way you’ve described the night, it sounds like she feels the same as you.” 
“Hm. Maybe.” 
“Buck I’m serious, I was just joking before. I’m sure she’s waiting for your call.” 
“So tomorrow?” Bucky asks with his smirk growing again. 
Sam laughs, “Yeah, tomorrow.”
Safe to say Bucky does not wait until tomorrow, actually he doesn’t even make it another hour before texting you.” 
Hey, it’s Bucky! Sorry if this is too soon but I had a really good time tonight. We need a rematch soon! 
He spent a further 2 hours staring at the screen, with every minute that passed that the message was left on ‘delivered’ he picked apart his message more. He finally locks his phone and heads to his room for the night. But not without a lecture from Sam first. “You called her didn’t you?” 
“No!” Bucky rushes to defend himself. “But hypothetically if someone was to text their date 4 hours after the date. How would that look?”
“Bucky! I thought you were waiting until tomorrow.” 
“I tried.” 
“Has she responded?” 
Bucky shakes his head. “Is this what ghosting is? Oh god. Am I being ghosted?” 
“Please for the love of god stop letting Peter teach you modern slang. You’re not being ghosted, it’s late she’s probably just sleeping. Bucky looks at the clock behind Sam and sighs in relief. 
“You’re right. Okay, I’m gonna sleep too.” It was nearing 3am, no wonder you haven't replied to him he thought to himself.
Bucky gets around 4 hours of sleep before he gets woken up by his phone ringing. He answers it without looking at who it is. “You’ve got 3 hours to give me back my brother, or else your girl gets a bullet through her pretty little face.” 
That wakes Bucky up faster than he ever has before. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 
“You heard me, Soldier. Clock’s ticking.” The call ends. 
Bucky freezes for a second trying to gain a little bit of understanding of what the fuck just happened. He pulls on the first piece of clothing he can find and runs towards the common room, hoping to find someone who can help him. Luckily the whole team is there, which is strange, normally the only time that happens is when there’s a mission going on. 
Before Bucky can even begin to explain what’s happening, Fury pipes up. “Barnes, what do you know about a Y/N Y/L/N?”
“Fuck!” This means he wasn’t imagining that phone call. We had one date, literally just last night. What the fuck is going on?” 
Half of the team moves so Bucky can see the big screen, and on it there’s a blown up picture of you, tied to a seat. Your dress is ripped, there’s blood dripping down the side of your face and your eyes are red, as if you’d been crying non stop for hours. Bucky walks slowly towards the screen and stops for a second to take in the picture, and almost instantly his brain switches to fighter mode. 
“What do we know?” 
“Bucky, maybe you should sit this one out.” Sam tries to reason with him, but Bucky doesn’t listen. 
“What the fuck do we know?”
Fury begins to tell Bucky all the information they have. “It seems your girlfriend wa-“
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Bucky wishes that statement wasn’t true, he wishes he could say you were his girl, but after this he was 100% sure that would never be the case.
“Okay.” Nick continues, wary of pissing Bucky off any more. “It seems Ms Y/L/N was taken from her home at around 11.30 last night. Her neighbours report seeing a black Audi sitting outside her apartment before she got home and say it left 30 minutes after you dropped her off. There’s no cameras in the area, her phone was left in her apartment so there is no way of tracking her. And just 30 minutes ago this picture was sent to my email. Along with a threat to her life if Zemo is not released from the raft in 3 hours.” 
Bucky tries to process all the information, you were taken just 30 minutes after he left? Guilt. Zemo has a brother? Anger. They were threatening to kill you? Fear. 
“I got a phone call a few minutes ago, said the same thing. Any leads on who this bastard is?” 
“None. No one is aware of Zemo having a brother.” 
Bucky nods along, “What’s the plan?”  
“You said you got a call? We’ll get tech to try and track it..” Nat suggests, knowing it most likely won’t work but it’s their best bet right now. “..and when they call again at least we’ll be ready to track it.”
“You think they’re gonna be dumb enough to leave a trace?” Bucky snapped at Nat. 
“It’s all we’ve got, Bucky. Look, we know you had some sort of relationship with this girl but you need to stay calm.” 
“I’m trying.” Bucky’s voice breaks a little, showing everyone how he is really feeling.
A couple minutes pass of everyone thinking the same thing but being too afraid to say it, until Fury finally breaks the silence. “There’s no way we can let Zemo out.” 
Bucky knows there’s no logical reason for them to listen to your kidnappers demands, he knows majority of the time they never stick to them, but the thought of you getting hurt anymore was too much to handle. 
“You’re just gonna let her die?” He shouts across the table. 
“Barnes I suggest you calm down or I’ll remove your clearance for this mission.” Bucky nods, knowing the best thing he can do right now is keep as calm as possible, panic will only make things worse. “As I was saying, I’m not willing to release Zemo from the raft, but we can make this brother of his think we are. When he next contacts us, we’ll let him believe we’re following what he is asking of us. Everyone got it?” 
The room fills with a mix of mumbles, mostly consisting of ‘yes sirs’ and ‘got it’s’. Bucky stays silent. He’d finally found a girl he liked and she ends up in this situation, the guilt he was feeling was worse than anything he’d ever felt before, including the years of physical and mental trauma he’s been through. 
Sam’s soft voice breaks him out of his thoughts, “Buck? You okay?” For the first time since he learned of your danger Bucky’s face softens, and his eyes begin to grow wet. 
“I don’t wanna lose her Sam.” Sam might not understand how Bucky feels this strongly about you in such a short amount of time but one thing he understands is that you are important to Bucky and that means you are important to him.
“We’ll get her back. Come on. Let’s suit up so we’re ready.”
—--
You made the mistake of asking for some water which resulted in you being slapped across the face with the back of a gun and tied up on a rickety old chair .You hadn’t spoken since. You’d accepted that it was just a matter of time before they killed you and part of you just wanted them to get it over with. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop the tears falling down your cheeks and these men did not like that at all.
“Tell me again why we’re keeping her alive? Her crying is starting to get real boring.” One guy asks the other. 
“Just shut her up will ya? I need to call them again” You try so hard to stop yourself from whimpering but the pain from the rope around your hands and the ache in your head hurts so bad and a couple of seconds later a rag is being stuffed in your mouth. 
“Darling.. You get what this means?” He lifts his gun up and trails it along the side of your face. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” You hold your breath, terrified that even a slight movement will make things worse. “Good girl.” His smile, it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever forget if you make it out of here alive. 
The other man dials a number and puts it on speaker. “You got my brother yet?” 
“He’s on his way to us. First we need some proof that Y/N is still alive.” 
The man walks over to you slowly and takes the rag slightly out your mouth. “Tell them sweetheart.” You couldn't answer even if you wanted to, the fear being too much. He whips his gun against your head again making you cry out again. “Don’t make me ask again.” 
“I.. I’m alive.” You had no idea who you were talking to, it was a voice you didn’t recognise but one you’d never forget, maybe, just maybe they’d be the one who saved you.
—---
“I.. I’m alive.” Bucky nearly breaks down right there at the sound of your voice, Sam's hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes gently. 
“Why are you doing this?” Fury asks, he doesn’t really care why, he knows people like these guys have no moral compass but he’s trying to make the call last as long as he can so they can track it. 
“You took my brother away from me, I’m only getting him back.”
“At the cost of an innocent life?” 
“You mean her?” He scoffs. “Can’t be that innocent if she's dating the winter soldier.” Sam can feel Bucky’s shoulders tense under his touch at the mention of his past life. “Stop wasting my time, just get my brother back to me. I’ll send you an address in 1 hour. Be there or the girl dies.” The call ends before Fury can reply.
“We got them!” An agent Bucky doesn’t know shouts up from the back of the room. “Sir, we’ve got them.” 
Bucky immediately makes his way over to where the agent is sitting and tries to read the computer but has no luck, it’s all in code. “Where is she?” 
“Water Crescent Garage, on the other side of the city.” She replies, as she continues typing. “The jet will get you there in 15 minutes.”
“Let’s go.” Bucky’s out of the room before anyone can respond, running through the halls and reaching the jet before anyone else.
“Barnes, I’ll remind you. Stay calm or you’re off.”
“I know. I’m calm” He was most certainly calm. “Can we please just go?” His voice is dripping in desperation, he just wants you safe.
—-------
“Looks like Soldier wants you back, hmm?” The taller guy asks you, knowing you can’t answer him. “Maybe I’ll see what he’s getting every night huh?” He begins to run his fingers over your bare shoulder, nearing your neck and beginning to squeeze slightly. You try to move away but the rope keeps you in place. “This what he likes doing to you? He likes having control? He likes to own you?” He brings his other hand towards the zip on the side of your dress before an alarm stops him. He looks around to the other guy in the room. “Stay with her. I’ll go.”
The other guy grunts in response. Once the taller guy has left he walks towards you, gun in his hand. “You better hope your boyfriend isn’t trying something sweetheart. It won’t end well.” You don’t understand why these guys think you and Bucky were so serious, you’d only had one date. 
You start to hear gunshots in the distance, getting closer and closer to you every second. You were praying the good guys were winning and that they were here to save you. 
A few minutes pass when the door to your room bursts open and none other than Captain America himself walks in. It takes him less than 15 seconds to disarm and knock out the guy who was left with you, although it feels like longer for you. “Buck, I’ve got her.” He walks over to you and removes the cloth in your mouth. 
Bucky was here. “Bucky?” 
“Hey Y/N, I’m here to help okay?” He begins to untie the rope around your hands, careful to not hurt you. “Bucky’s on his way. It’s over.” 
As Sam was untying your feet Bucky runs into the room and rushes over to you. His heart breaks when he sees you upclose. Your cheeks that were so rosy just last night were now white as a ghost, your lips once red were now blue and bruised, the sparkle he had just seen hours ago in your eyes was now replaced with fear.
You stand up with the help of Sam and look towards Bucky. 
“Are you okay? Where does it hurt? Sam, call the doc, let her know we’re coming.” Bucky's eyes are moving around your body, scouting out every injury he can find and taking note of it.
The only thing you can bring yourself to say is thank you, your lip wobbles as you say it and your voice is shaky with each word but Bucky understands. “Tha.. Thank you for saving me.” 
He slowly reaches out to hold you against him, giving you enough time to tell him to stop if you want to. He wraps his arm around you, carefully avoiding anywhere that looks injured. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why they came after you. I promise as soon as I found out what was happening I started looking for you. I’m so sorry.” 
You shake your head, he doesn't owe you an apology, none of this was his fault. The motion only makes you feel nauseous, and you feel as if you might throw up if you move anymore. “I can’t. I can’t.. I feel sick.” Bucky stops as soon as you ask. 
“Can I carry you?”
“Please.” You were embarrassed to be feeling this weak but he didn’t seem bothered by it. He just seemed sad. 
—---
After you get seen by the avenger’s doctor and prescribed some pretty strong painkillers you finally arrive home. Bucky tried to get you to stay in for longer, he was worried you would be feeling worse once the shock had worn off but you insisted on coming home. You needed to be in your own space. 
“I’ll make you some food, you wanna get changed out of those?” You weren’t really hungry but you couldn't bring yourself to say no. You did want to badly get changed out of the clothes Natasha had lent you, they were very tight. 
“Thank you.” 
Bucky wanted to tell you to stop thanking him, you should be angry at him and it was killing him that you were treating him with so much kindness after everything you’d been through at his fault.
Bucky makes you a sandwich, knowing you probably wouldn't be too hungry. “It’s just to get some food in you. Some water too.” He said as he handed you a plate and glass of water. 
The next words that left Bucky’s mouth were ones he’d never wanted to say but it didn’t feel right staying with you after what he’d put you through. “Do you need anything else before I go?” 
You nearly choke as you swallow that bite. He gets down to his knee and looks up at you. “You okay?” You immediately start crying, not even trying to hide it. “Hey, what's wrong?” You hadn’t been apart from Bucky since he found you, and now that he was leaving you felt so scared again.
“I don’t wanna be alone.” His heart breaks again at how soft your voice comes out, almost as if you were afraid to speak.
He wants nothing more than to stay with you, keep you safe but he feels that with every second he spends with you the more you'll be at risk. 
“Is there anyone I can call to stay with you?” 
“Could you?” You almost whisper to him. 
“What was that?” He asks softly. 
“Could you stay?” 
“You really want me to?” 
“I do.” 
He almost, almost says yes before he remembers how you looked when he found you in that room. He stands up and backs away a little. “I don’t think I should.” 
You try to stand up and walk towards him but get a bit dizzy as you do, grabbing onto his arm for balance. “Why not?” 
“Doll, sit down.” He guides you gently back onto the couch. “It’s my fault you got hurt.”
“No Bucky, that’s not true. I really like you Bucky, and whilst this may not have been the second date we had in mind, I don’t want to lose you. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel the same.”
“I never said I didn't feel the same way, I just.. I just can't put you in any more danger.”
“The way I see it, you saved me from danger. And I know now that you’ll always be there to save me. Please stay?” He nods. 
“You’ll stay?”
“I’ll stay.”
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urdepressedslut · 1 year
Note
If your requests are open…
Could you please do a Mob Bucky x Reader where the Reader is pregnant and gives birth to a premie baby and he baby has to stay in the hospital for 4 months. And Bucky wants to comfort the reader but he’s feeling sad too, so he goes a little crazy because he is angry that he can’t help the reader. So he leaves and the reader thinks that Bucky left her. You can make up how it ends. But please add angst and fluff. I get it if you don’t do it. Thank You!
hi lovely 💕 thank you so much for sending in this request, i read through it and loved the whole idea from beginning to end. i hope you like what i’ve written💗🥰
Out of My Control
♡ Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
♡ Summary: You awake in the middle of the night discovering that your water broke, you realize you’re having a baby— the only issue is that it’s several months early. Your hospital room gets tense as you and Bucky come to terms with the big changes.
♡ Warnings: language, angst, fluff, premature baby birth, all things to do with pregnancy, argument, stress, hints to panic attacks, self hate, signs of depression, me probs writing anything medical wrong
main masterlist
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+
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A relaxing day spent together, as the two of you walked through the park, went on a date and cuddled back at home. Things had started perfect and quickly shifted in a shit show.
Neither of you were prepared for the sudden contractions you were feeling. The alarms ringing in your head— like your body knew but your mind didn’t want to accept it. You were having this baby.
The only issue was that the baby was several months early. If the sobbing coming from you, from the pain wasn’t enough— the idea that you were about to have a premature baby only added into the panic.
Bucky and you talked day and night to your baby— whispering sweet words. Making promises to a baby that wasn’t even born yet. It was all crumbling before your eyes as you were rushed to the hospital, the inside of your thighs drenched from when your water had broke.
Everything happened so fast— you were soon to be knocked out with heavy meds to help with the pain. While Bucky had to witness it all— all these nurses and doctors poke and prod at you, keeping you alive of course. But he couldn’t keep his fists from unclenching— every cry and whimper that escaped your lips made him want to strangle the nurse or doctor that had caused it.
He was a tad overprotective, but you were his everything. His world, his purpose. Seeing you in such pain destroyed him and he felt himself slowly spiraling. He had called several of his men to guard the entire corridor in the hospital, even while the hospital didn't really allow that kinda stuff— they learned quickly not to mess with Bucky. They didn't want to get involved with the whole mob world and just lowered their heads and agreed to what he wanted in the moment.
Many doctors, nurses, tests and meds later— you were finally in stable condition. Giving birth to a premature child had taken a toll on your body, physically and mentally.
You had given birth to a girl— Rebecca Barnes. Agreeing to name your baby after Bucky’s adoring sister, who you had grown close with over the years.
At last you had Bucky in the room the whole time— but you had noticed him getting uncharacteristically quiet. You knew he was most likely worried sick for you, but you couldn’t wait for the moment to tell him everything was going to be okay. You just hadn’t had a moment to talk with him yet.
You thought you’d have time to speak with him but because your child was so early— she was in critical condition. The doctors and nurses doing all they could to keep your baby alive and healthy.
A couple days pass by and the crowd of nurses and doctors have died down, allowing Bucky to finally sit beside your bed. Rebecca was getting checked by doctors and nurses in another room, there was nothing you two could do but cling onto each other as you waited for the news.
“I’ve missed sleeping next to you James.” You called out to him, reaching for his hand and holding it tight.
He hummed in response, his eyes continuing to scan over your face, body— looking for any other injuries.
“James— have you been sleeping?” You questioned after he didn’t respond to your previous one.
Looking over him now that he was close enough, you could see his sunken in eyes. The way his eyes were rimmed with redness— his skin pale compared to his beautiful tan glow that he had. He looked miserable.
He looked up at your eyes at that question, and for a second you thought he was glaring at you.
“Do you really expect me to get sleep when you’re stuck here in pain?” He responded in a hoarse, gravelly voice.
You softened at his sorrow tone, your heart aching that he was making himself suffer because you were.
“Sweetheart, you gotta take care of yourself. I know you don’t wanna leave my side but— I’m okay now,” You finally reassured him, “Everything is gonna be okay — the worst is done with.”
As he hoped your words would help calm him, it did little to soothe the panic that had been brewing in his chest ever since you cried out in pain at home. You were still stuck here— along with his baby. He couldn’t do anything but sit on the sidelines and wait until you got better— and that drove him fucking insane. He wanted to lick all your wounds, steal all your pain. The fact that he couldn’t do it in a snap of his fingers, was making him lose his shit.
“How is everything okay? You’re still sitting here— and you’re gonna be here for god knows how long!” He rushed out frustratedly.
You rubbing the back of his hand in attempt to calm him, knowing he needed to get his stress out— but he ripped it from your grasp. You couldn’t hide the hurt that flashed in your eyes from the action.
“James this happens when babies are born early— you know that. It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll be out of here soo—”
“Bullshit!” He hissed, not necessarily at you— but you could feel the air from his breath.
He hadn’t eaten, or drank very much. Hadn’t slept— overall hadn’t been taking care of himself. Adding all of the stress of your safety— was the golden reason for why he was acting out. Although you didn’t know that fully, and you were starting to feel like his anger was directed at you.
You were emotionally vulnerable right now, with everything that had gone on. You needed his support desperately, not a fight.
“James just take a breath for me okay? You’re okay— we’re okay.” You whispered, your hand itching to hold his. He was too far out of reach now, pacing the hospital room. “I really need you right now— I can’t have you passing out from exhaustion. I need you healthy!”
“Yeah well— I need you to be healthy too!” He argued, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “I can’t lose you!!”
Lastly he shouted, watching your eyes flicker from the loudness. He immediately relaxed seeing your hurt expression— he felt bad that he was stressing you out. He didn’t mean to— he just felt things were way too out of his control. He just wanted you to be okay, and back at home in his arms.
You opened your mouth to say something, watching his eyes shift into a faraway look. But before you could say anything, he turned and walked out the door— leaving you alone in the hospital room.
You tried to understand his perspective and desperately tried to— but you were already under so much stress, on your body and mind. The only thing you could do in the moment was cry.
Hugging yourself in attempt to comfort your self, you sobbed quietly. Wishing for Bucky to come back through the door. As the darkness faded into your thoughts, you couldn’t help but feel like this was your fault. Bucky was clearly upset with you— but why?
Was it because you weren’t healthy enough to hold a baby properly? Was it because your body just wasn’t equipped to carry a baby? It was your body— you should’ve been better. Should’ve done more to prevent this.
Your thoughts ran wild, abusing your fragile mind as you curled up in the hospital bed, weeping to no one. The nurse who had been caring for you the whole time came in with a concerned expression, trying to soothe your cries— as the heart monitor was going erratic with panic.
Meanwhile Bucky kept walking, ignoring the worried glances form his men. It was no secret that his men had grown close to you as well. They were all worried about you and the baby— hoping you two would walk out of the hospital soon all healed up.
Steve, his closest friend followed after Bucky— knowing he'd be able to get through his thick skin. Steve's attempts at making Bucky stop were useless, that was until they made it outside— and Bucky finally felt like he could breathe. That's when he turned to meet Steve's worried eyes boring into his.
"What's going man? Is (Y/n) okay?" Steve asked hesitantly.
He'd check on you himself— but it was direct orders from Bucky that they guard the corridor and nothing else. He had to respect that.
Bucky took another deep breath, letting the cool air fill his lungs— the breeze drying the layer of sweat that lightly coated his skin. The stress and anxiety building up— festering inside of him.
"Yeah... she's going to make a full recovery I think." Bucky breathed out, but his expression was still pained.
"That's great news— what's got you so worked up then?" Steve pried, and if it were anyone else— Bucky would be slapping them.
Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to take another deep breath of the fresh air before his thoughts consumed him once again. Steve could see his pained expression deepen.
"She's fucking stuck here for months man— and I can't do shit about it! I feel like I should be doing more I— I just don't know what to do. I feel terrible that she's in pain— I just want her to be healthy with our babygirl and coming home!" He rushed out, started to pace the front entrance— running his hands through his hair.
Steve reached out to stop his pacing, holding his shoulder in a tight grip to snap him back to reality.
"Hey! Buck— you gotta take a breath and chill out— everything is gonna be okay. I know you're stressed out, I would be too— but you gotta try and calm down." Steve told him, holding his gaze with a stern one.
Bucky didn't mind the roles being switched up at the moment. He needed someone to shake him up— to get his shit together.
"I just love her so much." Bucky whispered, feeling his throat get tight with emotions.
Steve was shocked to see his pal so vulnerable, but it was understandable. He ignored the shock for now and tried to relax his friend.
"You need to tell her that, not me." Steve chuckled, and wasn't surprised at the glare he received from Bucky. "You're sorta right that there's not much you can do— but you can be there for her."
Bucky after a long pause nodded, knowing Steve was right— which was mind boggling to him.
"Yeah, you're right— you're right." Bucky mumbled, taking a few extra deep breaths before turning towards the door.
He stopped himself at the sliding doors and turned around suddenly and walked towards Steve without a word— pulling him into a tight hug. One that had Steve's mouth open in shock— hugs were not their thing.
"Thanks bud— I can't believe I have a babygirl." He whispered excitedly, pulling back with a teary smile and turned away— heading into the hospital.
Your tears had stopped minutes ago, and you stayed laying in bed— staring blankly out the window. Your mind wouldn't slow their attack— the darkness staining your brain. You wondered if someone could die from the abuse of their own mind— felt like you were.
Through muffled sound, you heard the door to your room open and close— followed by a voice. You were so out of it that it sounded like they were speaking from underwater.
It’s probably the nurse again… trying to get you to say something— anything. You thought mindlessly.
“(Y/n)… (Y/n)?” The mumbling continued and you really wanted to look over to see who it was, but found yourself comfortable in the dull state.
A gentle touch to your shoulder had you jumping, glancing slowly over to where the voice was coming from. To your surprise— it was Bucky.
“Hey baby, you okay? You feeling any pain?” He asked worriedly.
You stared at him like he had four eyes, your own darting around his face— almost like you didn’t actually believe he was here.
Bucky only grew more concerned the longer you didn’t respond, instead you stared at him with fear shining in your eyes.
“Baby— talk to me. What’s wrong? You’re scaring me.” He begged quietly, holding your hand in between both of his.
You looked down at your connected hands, your chest rising and falling with a big deep breath— almost like you could finally get a good breath in.
“You’re here.” You whispered, and if Bucky wasn’t as close as he was— he wouldn’t of heard it.
“I’m here baby, I’m not going anywhere— okay?” He asked, needing you to know he was here to stay. He finally got the shot in the arm he needed.
You shook your head, bottom lip quivering and that was the only warning Bucky needed to know you were about to cry. His heart ached at the sight of your now glossy eyes— peering into his with shame. That he didn’t understand.
“Fuck— I’m sorry James… this is all my fault.” You cried, holding onto his hand even tighter.
Bucky shook his head, rubbing the skin of your arm soothingly. Wishing so desperately that he could climb into bed with you— but he couldn’t. At least not for awhile.
He went to assure you, you had nothing to be sorry for but was interrupted by your cries.
“I can’t even do the one thing a woman is supposed to do right— I fucking failed you— us! I’m sorry James I— I should’ve been healt—”
Bucky had enough, he felt sick that you thought this was your fault.
“Baby no, don’t you dare think for one second that this is your fault. You didn’t ask for this honey— there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent this!” He told you sternly, sitting up closer to you now, cupping your face in his hands.
“But I—” You tried.
“No baby— I’m not gonna let you think this is your fault. You have done nothing wrong. Honey, you brought a babygirl into this world. You did it.” He pushed, pecking your forehead.
Your tears continued to fall but your cries has quieted down by now— Bucky’s words sinking in. You couldn’t help but want to smile at the mention of your babygirl. Rebecca— oh how you wanted her in your arms.
“I’m sorry I was angry before, but it wasn’t at you baby— I need you to know that.” He started, pushing stray hairs behind your ears. “I’m just frustrated that I can’t do anything for you right now. I just want you to be healthy and home with Becca.”
You softened your gaze upon his admission, reaching your hands up to cup his stubbled cheek. He immediately leaned into your touch, his eyes shutting on instinct.
“I love you so fucking much baby, and I just can’t stand knowing you’re in pain and that you’ll be stuck here for awhile.” He breathed out, his own emotions getting caught in his throat.
“James… you should’ve just started with that.” You whispered, stroking the skin on his cheek.
“I know, I know— I just get all in my head sometimes.” He admitted and you chuckled tiredly.
“Oh trust me, I know.” You joked, pulling him into the bed with you.
Bucky was careful, not sure if this was allowed and didn’t want to hurt you any further.
“(Y/n)… I don’t know if—”
“Just get in the fucking bed.” You spoke out monotonously.
He chuckled and shook his head, holding his hands up in surrender.
“Yes ma’am.”
You loved that you had this mean, initiating mob boss wrapped around your tiny little finger. But to be fair— he had you wrapped around his as well. He scooted in next to you, where you leaned back— laying your head on his chest. Hugging him around his waist, you could feel the heat of his breath fanning your forehead.
“I love you too James. Just don’t leave again, okay? I need you here with me.” You mumbled to him, feeling sleepy from all the stress of the day.
He squeezed just a little tighter, rubbing your arms comfortingly— before he spoke.
“I’m not going anywhere babydoll, I’m not going anywhere.”
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