#it was harmless and never gonna go anywhere anyway

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Me to the girl at the store I've been flirting with for 6 months

"I hope you don't mind me flirting you up every time I come in, you always respond well but I don't want to cross a boundary so I wanted to check in"

Her: "oh you're not flirting haha you're soo funny for saying that, I know you're just being nice 🥰"

Me, gayly: 😟🥹 .... 🫡 ma'am, have a lovely evening hgkgkgjkgjk

[canadianfangirl-95]

Karma 

Frankie Morales fanfiction x f! reader pov 

Summary: Triple Frontier guys attend a night club to see a band that isn’t typically their style. Frankie seeks solitude at the bar but becomes entranced by a mysterious stranger on the stool next to him. 

No mention of the events of Triple Frontier, character based only. 

Rating: 18+, minors DNI 

Warning: smut, p in v, oral m receiving, alcohol consumption, talks of anxiety, mental health and therapy (we love a king that goes to therapy) 

Word count: 8600+ 

Loud rock music sounded in the club as Frankie, Santiago, Benny, and Will squeezed between the crowd of people to find a tall table to lean against. The floor was sticky, and the music was so loud they had to all but yell at each other to talk. There were lights flashing everywhere to go along with the music the band on the stage was playing. There was a dance floor where a mosh pit of customers collected to head bang to the heavy metal music the band was currently playing. Frankie looked around feeling completely out of place from the small-town tavern he was used to.  

“This place is fucking nuts.” Will shouted at the group.  

They all nodded I agreement, trying not to talk if they didn’t have to in order to save their lungs the exhaustion. They would normally never come to a place like this, but Benny wanted to see the main band that was going to be on stage shortly because the drummer was a buddy of his at the gym. The rest of the group obliged as he had promised to buy a couple rounds and of course they didn’t have much better to do that night. Frankie was soon regretting his slow social life as he would definitely prefer to be anywhere he wasn’t getting shoved up against as people moved past him.  

Frankie leaned into the group, “What’s this band called anyway?” 

“Karma and the Catastrophes!” Benny shouted back at him.  

Santiago interjected, “Where are those beers you promised us? Definitely gonna need it with this crowd.” 

Benny reached into his pocket and pulled out a few bills, “Can one of you get them I’m gonna go see if my buddy is backstage before he goes on.” 

Frankie reached over and snagged the money out of his hands. “I’ll go, it looks a bit quieter over there.” 

They all nodded as Frankie broke from the group and made his way to the back of the building where the bar was nestled. He noticed a considerable difference in the noise once he got back there and there were less people as most of the crowd was still enjoying the current band.  

He leaned into the bar and got the attention of the bartender, signaling for four beers with his hand. He looked over to his right and noticed you sitting on the stool beside him with a glass of water. He was taken aback by your beauty. You were wearing a black tank top and ripped black jeans with leather boots. Your arms were adorned with various traditional Sailor Jerry tattoos.  

He didn’t have much luck talking to women, but he couldn’t ignore the way his heart skipped a beat the second he saw you. He leaned in and said hi shyly.  

You turned your head towards him, “Hey.” You smiled.  

He drummed his hands for a beat on the bar before the bartender brought the beers back and he handed him the bills.  

“This place gets pretty crazy huh?” he asked, trying his best to make conversation.  

“Yeah, I don’t mind it though. I like the energy.” You responded, eyeing him up and down. He had a rough looking baseball hat and stretched grey T-shirt with jeans on. You could see a chain hanging underneath the v line of the shirt and assumed it was dog tags considering there is an army base on the other side of town. Military guys didn’t typically like your exciting lifestyle, but this one seemed harmless enough to at least flirt with.  

“You come here often?” You asked, turning to him in your seat.  

He grinned at you sheepishly, “Isn’t that my line?”  

You smiled up at him, “Well I guess I’m better at this than you are.”  

He nodded, “Yeah, I’d say you probably are. I’m a bit out of practice.”  

“Don’t worry you’re doing fine. What’s your name?” You winked with a devilish grin. 

“Frankie, and yours?” he asked, reaching out his hand.  

You gave him your name with a shake of his hand. 

He repeated it and immediately felt the noise of the crowd lesson. Suddenly it was just he and you and the beers that were slowly warming on the bar top. 

“So, what do I say now since you’re so much better at this than I am?” He leaned in and you could feel his breathing against your cheek. The closer he got you could almost see your reflection in his deep brown eyes. 

“Hmm, you should probably start with some cheesy pick-up line.” You replied, keeping your tone light, and popping your eye brows up and down. 

Frankie thought for a second, “Oh so I should say something like; you should feel my shirt.”  

You looked at him puzzled for a second, but obliged and reached your hand up to run the material on his arm between your fingers, feeling the warmth of his skin as you did so. The fabric was so tight on his flexing arms you had to do your best to not skip a breath. 

“Know what’s that’s made of?” he asked, slightly giggling to himself.  

You shook your head and pulled your hand back to rest on your lap.  

“Boyfriend material.” He said with a wink.   

Your face went red, and a laugh came tumbling out as you swatted him playfully. He joined in on your laughter and covered his face with his hand.  

“Wow, if that’s you out of practice you must be just swimming in women on a good day.” You jousted back at him.  

Frankie shifted and leaned with his back on the bar. “If my friends ever found out I said that they would never let me live it down.” He smiled at you, one of those big dork smiles that always made you melt.  

“Oh, I will absolutely tell your friends when I meet them.” You grinned at him. 

He nodded back at the bar, “Can I get you a drink?” He asked.  

You were suddenly very aware of what the night was to bring, you weren’t exactly in the bar for a social visit. “No, I’m sorry I’m uh- working tonight so I need to stay sober.”  

“Oh, are you working here? Like your shift hasn’t started yet?” he asked intently.  

You nodded, ���Uh yeah something like that. Hey, Frankie I should really get going but can I find you before the end of the night?” You asked as you climbed off the bar stool and nodded at the bartender as he took your glass away.  

He stood up straight, “Yeah that’d be great, I’ll see you later.” He smiled as you retreated through the crowd. He watched as you left, replaying your conversation back in his head as he finally turned his attention to the beers he was supposed to be bringing to his friends.  

Frankie grabbed the four bottles in his hands and held them high enough as he walked through the crowd that he wouldn’t get them spilled by some drunk idiot getting too rowdy. The first band had seemingly ended during your conversation, so the room was now filled with the sound of voices from the customers. He set the beers down on the table when he finally rejoined his friends. Benny had also returned before he did.  

Will reached for his drink, “Geeze took you long enough Fish. Get lost back there?” He asked.  

Frankie took a sip from his beer and leaned with his forearms crossed on the table. “Actually, I was busy talking to a very pretty girl I met at the bar thank you very much. Now drink your piss warm beer.”  

Santiagos interest was suddenly peaked, “A girl? Really? Frankie Morales actually spoke to a living, breathing woman?” His eyes widened with his sarcastic tone. 

Frankie rolled his eyes, “Yeah I did, Pope.” 

Santiago pressed on, “Well, come on now. Tell us all about this totally real girl.” He put quotations around real girl to prove his point that he didn’t entirely believe his friend who has always been the worst at picking up woman. Normally needing to send Will or Santiago in first to act as a wing man. He never used Benny anymore. Benny gave off too much of a golden retriever vibe and women instantly wanted to keep him.  

“If you must know she is beautiful and funny and,” His voice trailed off as his attention was caught by the stage. You were walking out onto it with the rest of the band and situating yourself in front of the microphone in the middle of the stage. “Right there.” he said inquisitively.  

“Hey Houston, are you ready to rock tonight?” You shouted into the microphone and were met with a roar from the crowd.  

“What do you mean right there?” Santiago leaned in; Frankie still unable to take his eyes off you.  

He stuttered, “She’s, right there that’s her on the stage.”  

Benny yelled back at him, raising his voice now that the instruments had started up again. “Who, Karma?” 

“What?” Frankie asked, confused by the name. 

“Karma, the lead singer.” He replied.  

Frankie turned his face back to the group, “Well, that’s not the name she told me.” He scratched his chin as he knew he heard your name right.  

Will spoke up, “That’s probably just a stage name for band.”  

Frankie nodded, realizing he must be right.  

“So, you’re telling me you just picked up the lead singer from the band tonight?” Santiago asked, even more skeptical.  

Frankie hummed to himself, realizing he didn’t actually pick you up. He was so dumbfounded by the conversation that he hadn’t even asked for your number. “We had a great talk and she said she would come find me before the end of the night.” He looked down, slightly dampened by the fact that you may have just been being nice and you might not actually find him.  

The show wore on and he was amazed by your talent and charisma. You enveloped the stage with your big personality and had an amazing voice to boot. The guys all watched on and nodded their heads along with the rock music. Frankie was falling even more for you, watching your body as you danced along to the music in your tight black outfit. He grew a bit of jealously at the men gawking at you on the dance floor but held his head a bit higher knowing he was the one you were flirting with earlier.  

You finally ended the show with a big thank you to the crowd. The guys all clapped their hands and whooped along with the rest of the club. He watched as you collected your things on stage and disappeared behind the curtain. Frankie turned his attention back to the group.  

Santiago said, “Wow, they were really good. Not totally regretting the hearing aides I’m gonna have to get after tonight.”  

Ben patted Frankie on the back, “So you gonna try to find Karma before she leaves?” 

Frankie looked flustered, “I don’t know man did you see her up there? She’s this beautiful, fun, rock star and I’m well. Not that.” He sipped his beer and looked down, unsure of himself.  

The guys all looked to each other with empathy, their friend never had the confidence they had. Santiago conceded in an effort to make Frankie feel better. “Oh, come on man, she’d be lucky to have you. I’m sure she’ll find you before the end of the night.” 

You finished packing up for the night and said goodbye to the band and crew. Except for the guitarist who drove the equipment van and was your ride home. You promised him you wouldn’t be too long, you just had one thing you needed to do before heading out. You were adamant about finding Frankie before the place closed down for the night. You had to move quickly though, as your cool down took longer than you thought it would.  

The crowd was still bustling as you made your way out of the backstage area. Fans cheered for you as you walked by and you smiled at them, trying to scan the crowd for the baseball hat you had seen earlier. Luckily that wasn’t really the look for this kind of crowd so you were hoping he would stick out fairly easily. Just as you were about to give up, you found yourself on the far-left side of the venue and caught sight of a silver chain poking out of the top of a grey T-shirt. You were elated that you had finally found him and pushed yourself through the crowd to tap him on his shoulder. He turned and his eyes went wide at the sight of you standing in front of him.  

“Hey!” He gasped.  

You bit your lip, slightly nervous. “Did you enjoy the show?”  

“Yeah, I did you were awesome!” He said, “I’m so sorry I had no idea who you were when I was talking to you earlier.” 

You smiled back at him “That’s okay, it was a nice talk. I’m glad you didn’t know. Guys tend to act a little differently when they know I’m headlining. They get a bit of a complex about if they can get me home that night.” You answered honestly. 

Frankie nodded; he definitely did not want to be thought of as one of those guys, so he knew he had to play it right. “Well, I really liked talking to you too.”  

Your heart fluttered, he seemed so nice. You didn’t normally have a connection with the guys you met at your shows, but there was something about him that made you want to see him again. “Um, Frankie, I’m glad I caught you and I know I’ve already done this once tonight, but my ride is waiting for me, so I have to get going. Could I give you my number?” 

His mouth gapped, “Yeah, yes that’d be great thanks.” He dug into his pocket to pull his phone out and give it to you.  

You took it from him, after entering your name and number you handed it back to him and motioned you were leaving.  

He nodded goodbye and then thought for a second, “Hey, wait! What do I call you?”  

You winked back at him at him and pointed to his phone before slipping through the crowd. 

Frankie looked down at the contact you had just created on his phone.  

Karma ;)

He looked back up and you were gone, he felt like all the air in his lungs had disappeared in an instant.  

The next morning, you were moving about your kitchen with a spring in your step. You were so used to the punk, tattoo covered guys that frequented your shop and shows, so Frankie seemed like such a breath of fresh air. He was so innocent and spirited. You couldn’t help but check your phone on the kitchen island as you made your brunch. Hoping a text would pop up and you would get to see him again. He didn’t seem the type to take a girl’s number and ghost her, and he definitely didn’t seem like the kind to wait the typical three days before texting a girl to not come off as eager. No, Frankie was different, and you could tell right away. The way his smile was so big when he laughed and he snorted a bit. The way he leaned in to talk to you with so much respect and ensuring not to touch you even once before you’ve shown real interest. The steam coming off the stove top finally snapped you out of your trance. You carefully finished your omelet and settled onto the couch with your coffee to continue your annual binge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  

Meanwhile, across town, Frankie was doing his own daydreaming about the night before. He sat on the couch with his phone flipping up and down in his hands as he rested his head on the back of the sofa. He let out an agonizing moan as he continued to think about what to do next. He hadn’t felt this lovesick in forever, and you seemed so confident, so he didn’t want to mess it up and scare you off.  

Santiago rounded the couch and sat down on the opposite end. “You gotta calm down man it’s just a text.” He sipped from his coffee and turned on the tv to find a sports channel to play in the background.  

Frankie squeezed his eyes shut, “It’s not just a text, you’ve said it yourself man.” He propped himself up straighter on the couch, “I’m shit at talking to women. I know I’ve only talked to her for like, five minutes but I like her. I don’t wanna screw it up before it even starts.” 

His friend shook his head, “Look man, she could had gone home with probably a dozen guys last night but instead she found you. Asked to give you her number and then went home. She obviously likes you too. Just be yourself and it’ll be fine.” 

Frankies head spun, he knew Santiago must be right, but it was so hard to trust the process. Be myself, he thought to himself. What would Frankie do if he really liked a girl and wanted to see her again. He’d probably call her if he was being honest with himself. However, that seemed so old fashion, and you were a rock star with tattoos and a confidence that would shake the ground. Would you like old fashioned? Or would it be annoying? He figured there was no time like the present to find out.  

He stood up and patted his friend on the shoulder as he made his way to his room for some privacy, closing the door behind him as paced in his room for a minute before finally dialing the phone. He stood with his hand on his hip and bit his lip waiting for the call to connect. 

You had finished your meal and were scrolling on your phone as the show played in the background when it suddenly started ringing. It startled you so much the phone nearly flung out of your hands as you tried to calm yourself. An unknown number, but definitely local based on the area code. You don’t normally answer calls right away, preferring to send it to voicemail and then call the person back if needed, but something about the timing of this call peaked your interest so you decided to answer it on speaker.  

“Hello?” you said, holding the phone just below your mouth with a curious look on your face. 

“Hey, uh- it’s Frankie.”  

Your mouth gapped, you couldn’t believe he was calling you so soon. It made your head spin at his forwardness, but your heart flutter at how old-fashioned he seemed to be. 

“Hey Frankie, what’s up?” You asked. “What’s up” you thought to yourself. What are you seventeen? You rubbed your palm on your forehead. 

“Oh, nothing just at home. I hope I’m not calling too early I’m sure you had a late-night.” 

“No, no it’s fine I’ve been up for an hour now.” 

“Good, good. So, I hope I’m not being to forward but I was uh- wondering if you would be interested in going out sometime?” 

You bit your nail in your nervousness, “Yeah I would love that.” 

“Great, what are you doing tonight?” 

“Nothing, tonight would be perfect actually. This is one of the only Saturdays this month I don’t have a show.” 

“Oh perfect, uh- do you want to go for drinks or dinner or,” 

“Uh- drinks and some appetizers would be good if you want?” You held your breath.  

“Yeah, that sounds great, how about I pick you up at 8?” 

“Okay, I’ll text you my address.” You replied.  

“Sounds good, I’ll see you tonight.” 

You grinned to yourself, “Okay, bye Frankie.” 

“Looking forward to it, bye K-, uh, what do you actually want me to call you?” 

“Oh, yeah you can call me Karma. Kind of a nickname, I think there’s only like, four people that call me by my other name.” You scratched your head, hoping he wouldn’t think your sultry nickname was a red flag.  

“Oh okay, cool. Well than, bye Karma.” 

“Bye.” You said as you clicked the phone off.  

You rocked your head back against the top of the couch and then looked down at the time. You had nothing else planned for the rest of the day other than tidy up the shop and apparently figure out what to wear tonight. He obviously liked your edgy style as he had seen what you were wearing the night before, but a part of you wanted to mix it up a bit and give this old-fashioned guy a treat.  

You got up and immediately ran to your closet, throwing dresses and rompers and shirts all over your room. Trying to find the perfect ensemble to hypnotize your new gentleman friend when your eyes locked onto something in the far back corner of your closet.  

Frankie returned to the living room, grinning at his phone as he sat back down on the couch and looked up at the tv, not saying anything to his friend who was looking at him with squinted eyes.  

“What’s that face all about?” Santiago asked.  

Frankie leaned forward to slide his phone into his back pocket. “Just got off the phone with Karma, we’re going out tonight.” He looked over at his friend with a sly smile on his face.  

Santiago tapped his hand on Frankie’s chest, “Well hot damn, look at you go. Wait did you call her?” he asked, puzzled. 

“Yeah, you told me to be myself and that’s what I wanted to do.” He shrugged.  

“Huh, well more power to you. I like this confident Frankie. Where are you gonna take her?” 

Frankie thought for a second, he would very much like something quiet considering his ears are still ringing from last night, “I think that one pub downtown by the Walgreens is nice and quiet?” He chewed the inside of his cheek as he considered a few other options. Ultimately deciding to just go with that place as it isn’t nearly as busy as some of the other options around town. 

He waited patiently for your address, which you texted to him around dinner time. His face lit up when your name came across the screen with the wink emoji.  

It was 7:55pm when Frankie rolled up outside your house. He looked up at the sign on the front, “Karmas Chaos”. He figured you must run a business out of your house and wondered what it was. He got out and rounded the front of his truck when you opened the front door, and he was suddenly star struck.  

You stood before him with your hair curled in a summer like wave, your white converse on and a beautiful yellow sun dress that showed off your many tattoos. The dress had small straps and a low neckline, it dipped at your waist to accentuate your curves and then flared out to rest at mid-thigh. It had a knot on the back with a cut out just below. It was far more feminine than you were used to, you think you bought it years ago for a cousin’s wedding, but something drew you to it and you thought it would make a good first impression on Frankie.  

He stood there mouth gapped as you walked down the steps, “Hi.” You smiled at him and gave him a little wave. You hiked your shoulder bag higher as it had begun to slip, and you needed something to do with your nervous hands.  

Frankie stalled for a second and finally replied, “Hey, you look great.” He said with a big smile. Suddenly feeling a bit self-conscience about the fact that he is wearing an outfit almost identical to the one he wore last night, except now his T-shirt was black with a band logo on it from a concert he can’t even remember. The material long stretched and over washed to point where the logo had begun fading and breaking apart.  

“You do too.” You responded before leaning in for a quick hug.  

He shuffled his feet, “I was thinking we could go to Burt’s, downtown if that’s okay?” 

You beamed up at him, “Yeah that would be great.” You broke your gaze to round his truck, but before you could reach for the handle Frankie appeared beside you and opened the door. You looked startled, but really you were just amazed by his chivalry. You’ve never had anyone open your door before, so you just nodded your thanks and stepped onto the step bar to jump up into the truck. He swiftly closed it behind you and made his way to jump into the driver’s side.  

As he turned the ignition, the radio fired up again and a familiar tune from Motley Crue came through the speakers. “Oh, I love this song.” You remarked.  

He smiled, “Me too, they’re probably my favourite band.”  

You hummed along to the music. He glanced over at you, “Well come on now, don’t keep that beautiful voice to yourself.” He smiled, the curls peaking out from under his seemingly signature hat dancing in the wind.  

You felt yourself blush but obliged, singing along to the music with the windows down, blowing your hair about as the music filled the cab. When the chorus came around Frankie gave his best imitation of the lead singer and you laughed. He chuckled, “Maybe I’ll leave the singing to you.” 

“No, no you’re great. I could listen to you all night.” You winked at him and he grinned, finally taking his attention back to the road. The rest of the commentary for the drive continued to be about music and favourite bands to see in concert, yours being his new favourite of course.  

You thanked the waitress for your seats and settled into a booth along the wall of the restaurant. It was a little more modern than you thought it would be given what you’ve seen from Frankies taste but definitely not a chain restaurant. There were vintage movie posters adorned on the walls giving it a warm look, but it was met with modern furniture and paint to keep it lively. There was a poster hanging in your booth of a movie you guessed must be from the 50s at least and you stared briefly at the faded colour, reminding you of the faded T-shirt currently sitting across from you.  

Frankie looked at you nervously, “So, I saw the sign on your door. Do you run a business out of your house?” 

You nodded confidently, “Yeah I’m a tattoo artist.” He nodded along, listening intently. “I have a shop in my house that is just me. It’s nice because then I get to choose my hours and can line things up really well with my band practice and shows.” 

“Wow, that’s great. You must be pretty busy balancing both those.” He stated.  

“I try to take Sundays and Mondays off and then I never work before 11am so I definitely still get some free time. I was supposed to have an appointment today, but they rescheduled so I got a totally free Saturday for once.” You smiled; very glad you had the extra time to get ready for this date. “What do you do?” you asked as the waitress reappeared with some waters.  

“What can I get you for drinks?” she asked.  

You replied, “I’ll have a whiskey sour, please.” 

She nodded and looked at Frankie. “Just a Corona, thanks.” 

With that she left the table, leaving you and Frankie alone.  

You looked back at Frankie, unsure if you needed to repeat yourself but before you could speak, he replied, “I’m an instructor at the base, I was a pilot in active duty.”  

Hm, your suspicions on the dog tags were correct. “How long have you served for?” You asked, leaning with your forearms against the dark wood table.  

“Since I graduated from high school, I enlisted right away.”  

You popped your eyebrows up, that’s a long time to be in the service. Most guys you have met from the base were a five-year contract and then out.  

“Wow Frankie, that’s really really amazing. I’m not surprised by the way you carry yourself though that you’ve been in that long.” You said, slightly bashful.  

He looked confused, but still flattered, “Why do you say that?” 

“You just, uh- you know you seem really old-fashioned and proper.” You replied sheepishly, tucking your hair behind your ear, and averting your gaze back to the poster.  

Frankie looked down for a second, “Oh, do you not really like that?”  

“No, no, it’s great.” He perked up at your response. “I actually love it; I’ve never been out with a guy that’s treated me the way you do.” You smiled at him and reached your hand out for him to take. He let out a relived huff and reached his hand up to take yours and give it a slight squeeze.  

“Well, I don’t know hermosa. You just deserve to be treated the best and I’m sorry no guy has ever done that for you.”  

You both beamed at each other, eyes sparkling with desire when the waitress seemingly appeared out of nowhere with your drinks. You quickly broke your hands apart and nodded politely. You wrang your hands together, still feeling the warmth of his much larger hand on yours.  

“Do you know what you’d like for food?” The waitress kindly asked.  

Both of your eyes widened, neither of you had even thought about the food as you were too busy making googly eyes at each other. You looked at each other and gave out a chuckle. “Um, I think we’re gonna need a few more minutes actually.” Frankie nodded along as the waitress left.  

The evening wore on and you shared food and stories. He told you all about his time in the service so far and the friends he’s made along the way. You told him about your business and band and how you’re a really creative person and need all these outlets. You also spoke about your anxiety and how when you’re focused on a tattoo or a song, you get to ease your mind and allow yourself to relax. He commended you and spoke about his time in therapy for some anxiety he had after he was done active duty. None of your exes ever went to therapy or spoke about mental health, so your heart warmed listening to him speak so intentionally.  

Frankie’s truck pulled up and parked out front of your house and you gave a huff of disappointment that the night was coming to an end. You looked at your phone and noticed the time wasn’t too late. You bit your lip and thought to yourself, would it be too much to ask him inside? Would he want to hookup, or would he think that’s all you’re interested in? He looked to you with a sheepish smile on his face, he was clearly disappointed the night was slowly coming to a close as well. You thought it couldn’t do more harm than good if you at least asked him inside for a little bit.  

“Hey Frankie, um- do you? Do you want to come in for a drink?” You asked, trying not to make eye contact so you could hide your reaction should you be met with rejection. 

His face lit up at the suggestion, “Yeah for sure thanks.”  

Your face darted up to meet his and you smiled, getting out of the truck and wandering up the steps to your house. He followed closely behind, placing his hand on the small of your back as you went up the steps, seemingly ready to catch you should you trip.  

You eased the door open and stepped aside to let him in. He passed you with a nod and stood in your living room looking around as you flicked on some lights, kicked off your sneakers and settled your bag on a counter. The room flowed from the living room to a dining table and a kitchen with an island. There were band posters and your own artwork on the walls. The furniture had a 50’s vibe with lots of red and black and white checkers. Your kitchen cabinets were an emerald green with gold accents. He loved how much personality you put into the space and stood staring at one of your drawings of a mermaid covered in tattoos on the wall beside a door.  

You approached him with your arms crossed and looked to the drawing as well. 

“You’re incredible, this is such a cool piece.” He said, smiling at you.  

You nodded back, “Thank you, if you like that you should see the one’s I have in my studio.” You tilted your head to the door beside you and opened it. He followed you in and was greeted by the smell of cleaning products and alcohol wipes. Your studio was small with one tattoo chair in the middle of the room and a workstation along the back wall. The walls were covered in photographs and drawings you’ve done.  

You plopped down on your wheely stool as he lingered around the room, looking at seemingly every piece you’ve posted. “So, mister military.” He looked down at you, resting his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t ask, do you have any tattoos?” 

He looked slightly embarrassed, “No, no I never did. I’ve thought about a few but never pulled the trigger.”  

You nodded, “Well,” You spun in your chair and grabbed your tattoo gun behind you. Spinning back around his eyes went wide, “you want one now?” you giggled to yourself.  

“Uh- hm.” He laughed, looking nervous. “Fuck it yeah let’s do it.” He clapped his hands on his thighs and shook out some nerves with his fingers.  

You beamed at him, extremely excited for the turn the night took. You rolled over to your drawing board, “Okay so what are we thinking? A little cartoon helicopter, a bottle of tequila, a tramp stamp?” He laughed at your line of questioning.  

“Actually uh- there’s this one helicopter I loved flying. The code was UH-1N. I think I’d like that, just something simple.” He kneaded his hands together.  

You started writing, doing a couple different styles of handwriting. You leaned back and showed them to him, and he picked one of the more structured looked fonts. “Alright, get in that chair and I’ll get you prepped.” 

He sheepishly moved over to the chair and rested himself in. “So where do you want it?” you asked as you collected your supplies and prepared the station.  

“Just here below my elbow on the forearm.” He pointed to his right arm.  

 Frankie sat still, watching you work. He could see the wheels turning in your head as you laid down the plastic wrap on the arm rest he would be using, getting the ink ready, sanitizing everything and getting the stencil cut.  

You finally pulled some gloves on and placed the stencil on his arm. “How’s that look?” 

He shifted in the seat to look at his arm, “Yeah that’s great, thanks.” He smiled at you.  

You started buzzing the tattoo gun, “Alright I think we’re good then.” You could feel the heat of his arm through the gloves and your glance waivered slightly to his bicep in his sleeve. Pulled tight from his straining muscle trying to stay still.  

“How much does it hurt?” he asked? 

Your attention went back to him, “Hm? Oh, um, not bad at all. What’s the worst pain you’ve ever had?”  

He took a beat, “Well, I’ve been shot so.” His voice trailed and your eyes went wide. He said he was in active duty for a long time, I guess it makes sense that he was in live fire. However, the thought of him going through something so traumatic made your stomach flip.  

You stuttered, “Yeah, um, that would definitely hurt more than this will, so I think you’ll be fine.” You did your best to put on a confident smile, but really you were now nervous.  

He nodded as you began. His arm didn’t even flinch beneath your hands. You held your head as close to it as you could so you wouldn’t get too distracted by the burning eyes you could feel coming from him.  

Frankie looked at you so intently and he felt a familiar twitch in his pants as he glanced down and caught a glimpse of your cleavage as you were bent over. He tried his best to look around the room, until his mouth gapped at the sight of a photo on the wall which featured a woman topless, holding her breasts showing off a colourful butterfly splayed out on the top of her ribs. The face was cut off, but he instantly recognized the tattoo on the left hand, as it happens to be the one holding onto his arm right now. He quickly averted his gaze, feeling the stretch of his jeans even more now. He couldn’t even feel the needle of the tattoo gun anymore, too busy trying to pry the unholy thoughts from his mind. Everything about you made him burn with desire. He didn’t know where the night would lead, but he was aching to feel your touch more.  

You wiped the last bit of ink off him and smiled at him. “Okay, here you go. Take a look.”  

Bringing his back up from the seat he pulled his arm forward and looked at your work, “That’s great thank you.”  

Nodding, you started cleaning the site and then placed the second skin on it tightly. Pulling off your gloves you grabbed one of your standard info flyers and a small tube of cream. “So, leave that on for a day, take it off in the shower with some soap. It will hurt like a bitch, sorry about that.” He smiled along with you. “No hot tubs or pools and keep this moisturizer on it for a few weeks as it heals. Oh, and no itching. It’s gonna suck but just don’t do it.” You stood from your stool and reached out your hand to help him stand from the awkward seat.  

He grabbed your hand and stood, looking down at you as your faces were so close. “What do I owe you?”  

You flushed, the tone in his voice was suddenly so deep and arousing. You did your best to not show how flustered you were with the sudden change in his demeanor and took a step back. “Oh gosh nothing, I do little tattoos for free like that all the time.” You waved your hands casually. “Plus, I kind of peer pressured you into it so.” You had backed up enough that your ass was now resting against the drawing table with your arms crossed. You hadn’t meant to back up that much, but as you kept stepping, he had followed you. His body still so close, you could see his eyes flick around your face, seemingly taking in every little bit of you.  

He breathed out of his nose deeply, “You wanna go sit down? You look a little lightheaded.” He said as he tucked your hair behind your ear.  

You nodded, looking up to him with sparkling eyes. Full of lust and need. He turned his body so you could pry yourself from the desk that had been digging into you and followed as you headed towards the living room. You positioned yourself on the couch, tucking your legs underneath you as he sat beside and rested his arm on the top of the couch behind you.  

Nervously looking around, trying your best to ignore the ache between your legs as he looked at you with darkened eyes. “Do you need a drink or-?” 

 “You know, I never did ask you why your nickname is Karma?” His Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed deeply.  

Chest turning red, pupils dilating. You were so entranced by this man, you answered softly. “I’m just a uh- big believer in karma and I’ve always really seen it around me. You know, people are good to me, and good things happen and then people who have really wronged me, they uh- don’t always have things work out for them. So yeah, just became something I grew a lot of interest in and then others started noticing it with the people I had in life and so the nickname sparked. Almost like I entice karma into people’s lives, who surround me.” 

He peered down at you, usually this explanation makes people nervous. Frankie only seemed challenged, like he wanted to prove something to you. You’re not sure what happened during that tattoo, but something flipped in this seemingly wholesome man which resulted in him growing a hunger towards you.  

“So, you’re saying if I do good things to you, good things will happen to me?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. You could hear only his breath and your heartbeat.  

“Yeah, I guess.” You lightly giggled, not breaking eye contact with him.  

His eyes grew even darker, and he leaned in. Your breath was caught in your throat as you felt the intense ache between your legs watching him lean into you. His eyes flicking to your lips, you turned your head slightly and leaned in as well, meeting him in the middle with a soft kiss. He brought his hand to your knee and started drawing circles with it on your soft skin. Your hand rose up to cup his face and the intensity suddenly grew. You didn’t expect this first date to go this way, but now you’ve found yourself straddled on his lap on your couch making out like you may die tomorrow. Pulling each other’s hair, nipping at jaws and necks, the incessant moaning growing between you. You felt like you were drunk, but this intoxication wasn’t from any kind of substance, no this was all Frankie. The way he ran his hands all over your body and pulled you down to grind your hot and wet core through your panties on his hard bulge made your head spin.  

He grabbed the bottom of your dress and looked to you with pleading eyes, “Is this okay?” 

You took a deep breath, “It’s more than okay Frankie, I need you.”  

His face turned to a smirk, and he pulled your dress up and over your head, throwing it aside. You had thankfully chosen to forgo your usual everyday bra that gets washed once a month and went without one altogether. He sat back and basked in your exposed breasts. You shivered as he traced a finger on your butterfly tattoo beneath them. His mouth curled into a devilish grin leaning down and sucking on one of your nipples as he palmed and squeezed the other with his hand. You moaned and began grinding on him harder. He pulled himself off and you reached down to pull his shirt off him. The chain and dog tag laden on his chest made your knees quiver. He was so broad and full, a real man you thought to yourself.  

You rejoined your lips, sucking on each other’s tongues as his hand moved down and swiped around on the front of your panties before dipping a finger in and starting to draw little circles on your clit. You bucked up at the sensation and started to lose your technique with your kissing. Your head fell to his shoulder as his pace picked up and he sat there watching you break resolve and come undone to his touch. You felt the build up and then suddenly the knot in your gut broke and you flowed into your orgasm. Frankie somehow knew exactly when it happened because just as you started, he slipped his fingers further down and slid two of them perfectly in your pussy. You groaned at the relief of being able to squeeze onto something. He pumped you slowly as you came down from your high and peppered kisses along your neck while you slumped over him, regaining your breath and strength.  

He pulled his fingers out of you, and you leaned back, holding onto his broad shoulders for balance. He looked at you intently, and you burned for more. You reached between the two of you and startled pulling apart his belt as he held your waist to keep you balanced. He lifted his hips so you could get up and slide his pants and underwear down to the ground. You saw his length spring free and felt your mouth water, it was so perfect in every way with beads of precum seeping from the tip. You quickly fell to your knees and in one fell swoop took his member completely in your mouth. His head fell back at the sensation as you sucked and bobbed your head up and down. You used your hand to stroke the part of it that couldn’t fit into your mouth even if you tried. You worked him up and down, doing your best to take as much as you could down your throat, he reached down put his hand along your neck, feeling it throb with his cock inside.  

“Oh, baby, you keep doing that I’m not gonna last much longer.” He finally sputtered out, trying to keep himself composed.  

You glanced up and finally popped his soaked cock from between your lips. You hurriedly pulled your panties down your legs and took your previous position on top of him.  

“Do you need a condom? I’m on the pill and I’m clean but if you,” you said, scanning his face.  

He ran his hands down your back, “I’m clean too so as long as you’re comfortable.”  

You nodded quickly, kissing him to assure him of your consent and then raised yourself up. His hand slid between the two of you to guide his cock into your wet entrance. You felt it line up and started to slowly ease down onto it. The stretch both burned and excited you.  

His mouth fell open and his head fell back against the couch, “Fuck – baby you feel so good.” 

You smirked at him and groaned when you finally had sunk entirely onto him. He quickly encapsuled your lips in his and squeezed your ass with his hands. You took that as a hint to start moving, so you slowly rocked up and down, rubbing your clit on his hair above his cock. He steadied you as you quickly lost your resolve again, head spinning and becoming more and more heavy as the feeling in your gut grew again. You suddenly felt it happen again as your orgasm crashes into you, squeezing him so tight he moaned and rested his head against yours as he tried to pump your seized body through the feeling. You slowed and looked deep in his eyes, he was truly so handsome, and sweet and fuck was he good at this. You felt something in your chest, a warm feeling that you hadn’t felt in years. You liked this man so much, holy fuck did you like this man. You wanted to spend all your time with him, you wanted to learn everything about him, and learn each and every part of his body.  

You were snapped out of your lucid trance when you felt him buck into you, chasing his own high. You braced yourself by holding onto his neck as he rocked further into you. He bit his lip and held your hips so tight it might bruise. He came to a slow stop when his orgasm hit and he pushed into you one last time, coating your walls.  

The last thing you were expecting was for his cock to swell so much in it’s release that the sudden change in stretch would barrel you into a third orgasm. You squeezed him tight, and he moaned as your bodies slowly fell into one another and stilled. He breathed deeply into your neck as you ran your hand on his chest.  

Through stuttered breaths he said, “You know, I’m really starting to like this whole karma concept.”  

Snickering you pulled your head up and matched his gaze. He too looked like his brain was spinning, trying to analyze everything that just happened and everything that he felt for you.  

Pulling yourself off him, you quickly found your underwear and retreated to your room, excusing yourself. 

By the time you had cleaned up and thrown on a loose band shirt and sleep shorts, he was dressed again and had taken it upon himself to fill a glass of water for each of you. You liked the way he looked in your kitchen, so domestic and loving. You graciously accepted the water and walked back to the couch with shaky knees, he followed you sitting on the couch and putting his arm around you as you both sipped from your drinks.  

Frankie put his glass on the painted black wood coffee table, “So, rock star, what do you typically do on your nights off to relax?”  

You hummed, “Well, I don’t know if it’s your thing but I’m rewatching one of my favourite shows right now if you’d like to stick around for a while?” 

He smiled back at you, “Oh yeah, what is it?” 

“Buffy the vampire slayer.” You looked to him, worried he may be turned off by your choice in television, you pegged him more for a sports or war show guy.  

Thankfully, he was nothing like you thought he was going to be. “Buffy really? Fuck I love that show, watched it when it came out.” 

“Really?” You gapped, “Well then, we’re definitely watching it. I watch it every year at least once.” You reached for the remote on the coffee table and started queuing it up.  

“What’s your favourite episode?” He asked.  

You looked up, trying to figure out your answer, “Oh man, that’s hard. I really like the majority of the episodes in the first season to be honest. That season is by far my favourite. How bout you, any episode in particular?” 

“Oh yeah that’s easy, season four, episode one. Best episode in the series for me, it’s a classic. Great guest actors.” he says confidently.  

You looked to him, taken aback by the fact that he even knew episode numbers, “Really?” you ask, “Well I guess I know which one we’re gonna watch right now.” You scrolled through the series and selected the episode he requested.  

Both of you fell into each other and snuggled on the couch, watching the show and talking about anything that came to mind. It felt so easy you thought, and maybe that’s okay. Love is supposed to be easy after all. It will take time to accept that, but if Frankie continues to be the man you think he is, you’ll be falling endlessly for him.  

It will be easier than singing on stage, it will make you forget about your troubles more than the sting of a tattoo needle, and soon enough, he’ll make you forget all about karma because he’ll bring nothing but good into your life.  

[glitter-alienz]

I'm gonna talk about this once and only once. because I really don't have the energy for arguments.

yall know when someone makes a human pinkie pie design and she's white and skinny (which is fine, do what you want) and hundreds of people in the comments are like "finally, a normal pinkie pie" or something along those line. <- (I've mainly seen this on tiktok and insta)

i keep thinking those comments have to be satire cuz there is no way people actually think that. but they do. and its so fucking funny. pinkie pie is a fictional pony. why do people get so heated up when a rando fan on the internet draws her black?? their asshole is so itchy they got worms in there they cant just sit. they HAVE to go show their racism. if you don't like when someone draws a non-human character as a black person please sit down and think why does it make you so mad? why does black pinkie fill you with so much rage? why is her being a black person a problem? why is some random stranger on the internet drawing her as black making you so upset, even tho that's just fanart and it doesn't affect canon, because she's not a human in canon. why do you feel like you have to let them know how much you hate pinkie being black? nobody wanted your opinion.

and people just loooove to hate on fat people which sucks. shocking that people have different body types. your cartoon pony being drawn chubby shouldn't make you this upset. get help please <3

anyways, this goes for like,, all the ponies and other media where the main cast isn't human (and ofc this includes tmnt, the amount of people who have a problem with the human turtles being drawn as black or blasian is so insane) why does harmless FANart / HEADcanons have so much power over people?? live your life man stop harrassing people over their fanart. its never that serious. fan works are just that, FAN works. its no big deal

I'm just ranting about this to get it off my brain, this was lowkey why I never posted my mlp humanizations anywhere (except pinkie on insta once, ended up deleting it) but im thinking that i should like.. do what i want. this is my house after all

tldr; I keep seeing people relieved to see a human design of pinkie pie that isn't black. and the fact that people care that much and get so upset over a fictional pony being drawn as black person BY A FAN is so funny and annoying at the same time.

[secretgamergirl]

A Teachable Moment

So I hopped into some freshly minted Discord server, maybe a month ago, and the norms of it still haven't settled into place. It's open to the public and focused on a game, so there's a bit of a mixed crowd, let's say, and prior to the incident I'm setting up the backstory for, there hasn't really been a test of their ability to moderate their damn public spaces.

Also when I say there's a mixed crowd I mean there's both a good number of trans women (because if you are making a deep game for a niche audience, we're gonna make up a shockingly high percentage of that audience every time), and a few right-wing extremists doing their best to "hide their power levels" (because if you create and promote literally any sort of social space, they WILL show up to test for whether local conditions are suitable enough to build a nest). In the early days of things they mostly kept their masks on aside from using the nazi frog as a reaction image to things (which IS something everyone should have a zero tolerance policy towards, but I feel like I need to know someone fairly well before I can explain that one), and their eyes lighting up when they see the server rules include "no politics" (a perfectly fine policy to have but you need to understand that if you post it you WILL have to constantly ban nazis who think you're using "politics" like they do- a euphemism for all the people they want dead).

Anyway, there's a few people on my radar here, but everyone's been civil enough, and it's a pretty relaxed vibe. Pretty quiet. Mostly just icebreaker talk. The most prolific poster is this one guy who saw there was a pet photo channel and just kinda sat down and made a point of posting several images a day to it, of a particularly uncommon sort of cute pet. Naturally this lead some people to ask some follow-up questions about whether these are his and how long he's had them, and this yielded the pretty damn weird in retrospect response that no, he has no pets at all, but would like one of these some day.

Now, this isn't at all the main thrust of this, and I wouldn't like, start keeping vigil for this as a sign of troublemakers, but a thing that undercover bigots do all the time as can be seen here is set up in a community and just kinda spam harmless generic platitudes and such to try and establish themselves as a known chill person. This goes double for anywhere that has a general public/trusted community members split. Never just go by "well he seems pretty chill" for giving people access to more private spaces, they can wait as long as they need, generally, as long as they don't have to improvise a normal person response to a situation where bigotry is in play.

Anyway, getting to the main event, a few days ago in this server, someone posted some cute little comic which... you know let me just find it.

Clever little subversion there. Got a polite chuckle out of the bulk of those paying attention, but seeing a nice wholesome bit of trans positivity incensed pet-poster guy, who immediately shouts "I've seen another version of that comic!" and posts a variation I am absolutely not going to share where the girl in the last panel is dead.

That is as clear cut of a do not pass go, do not collect $200, ban that piece of garbage permanently without a word and delete the post as soon as you can before anyone has to see that sort of hate directed at them offense in absolutely any community. Even moreso in this case as in the time it took a moderator to notice, this creep was going full mask off and responding to everyone's horrified reactions with grotesque anti-trans propaganda of a particularly hardcore "my other hangouts have openly posted swastikas" variety.

Here, people did delete the profoundly offensive comic, but then, to be blunt, otherwise handled this like a kindergarten teacher seeing a kid grab the blocks another kid was playing with and just nonchalantly explaining some basic manners. First off, nobody goes that hard on hate speech accidentally, and more importantly, showing a lack of willingness to dole out any real consequences for such an open act of hate has an emboldening effect. Sure enough the other sleeper agents present jumped up to try and push things farther, encouraging them to also remove the comic above, ban any mention of trans people, and jump the gun with prepared responses that don't work in context (you call everyone you don't like a nazi! Both sides are wrong! etc.).

I came pretty close to just quitting the server on response to that, but stuck it out a bit to double check if this wasn't just one particularly green mod trying to put the fire out before double checking if that's ban worthy when someone else was awake, or if I needed to explain the code-talk in the following conversation, or hell, if they just need more mods. I'm decidedly overqualified for that sort of thing.

Anyway, moderation policy handled that poorly... and to be clear, I'm not pinning that on any one person, basically everyone who ends up in a position of authority has a gut instinct to moderate as laxly as possible and needs some real training, reading, or tragic experience to learn how vital a firm swift hand is if you don't want people like this to show up and drive everyone else away. Especially not going to put this on the one green volunteer awake at 4 AM or whatever.

Still, the ball was dropped here, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how the rest of the community stepped up to hold their ground. Over the next couple of days, people just started casually dropping every cute trans positive thing they had handy in there, agreeing with each other that it was all nice and sweet. This both reestablished that chat as a relatively safe place to exist with a kind general vibe, and really got under the skin of these mask off nazis who started throwing tantrums. Apparently they just started privately messaging the mods to flag every single wholesome little image or comic as offensive to the point where people higher up the food chain came in, did some more serious reprimanding, and added an explicit policy against transphobia to their TOS... and threatened to ban these people if they pull this crap again.

Now, that increased firmness plus the community in general making it pretty damn clear they don't tolerate hate does seem to have scared the bigots into hiding (the one guy made this pathetic desperate effort to retake power by threatening to stop posting the animal pictures... that he's just pulling out of an image search, it was pretty funny), but... they're still there. The people they were threatening both broadly and as specific individuals still have to be careful not to share anything these scumbags can screencap and weaponize against them, and I'm sure at some time in the future when it's clear there's no mods awake they're going to pipe back up to do as much damage as they can in a blaze of glory if spying on all the queer people doesn't pay out for them, so while it is nice to see how just actively rejecting this sort of ideology can at least temporarily shut this crap down even without people in authority taking real action, I want to reiterate what responsibilities those in authority are neglecting here.

As a moderator of literally any sort of space, your basic duties are to keep things safe and to keep things civil. Those are two separate duties. Don't ever try and merge them together, and don't ever forget that safety must always take priority over civility.

If you see a situation where people are just getting randomly heated and angry over something inconsequential (happens a lot), yes, by all means, try to just deescalate things by stepping through just taking a stern tone, formal warnings, timeouts, 3 strike rules, temporary bans, etc. These are situations where we can hope that people who otherwise get along just let their emotions get out of hand and will hopefully shake hands and make up after having some time to cool off.

If on the other hand you see a situation where someone is threatening/antagonizing/intimidating someone else, especially in a case like this where the reason is transparently that the offender is a bigot who genuinely wishes harm or death on the target, there are no steps to escalate through. You remove the dangerous person from the community immediately, no exceptions, no warnings, no escalating response scale. That nazi posting crap about trans women in nooses, Jews in ovens, black people holding spears, women being raped etc. is not a friend having a rough day. There can be no reconcilliation no matter how much time you give. You just have a predator here to whittle your community down, and a vulnerable person who needs you to reassure them that they are safe in your community. The only option that should be on the table is the permanent zero appeals ban, and you should have no hesitation in deploying it.

Oh and here's the part where I remember that I am going to lose my home by the end of the year if I don't ask people to throw more money at me (this is a link). I hate doing this, but my other options for income went up in flames so completely I don't even know how to start to rebuild.

[aceofhearts-189]

Hello everyone!

My first tumbler post :3 I’m gonna be explaining what I’m going to use this for.

Tumblr seems to be the one place (aside from a few tiktok users and possibly Pinterest) where I can find other people who live for love Paper Mario The Origami King to the extent that I do.

Thus, I will be using this account (and whole social media platform) to interact with and post PMTOK content, including multiple AU ideas I’ve come up with.

I already have an AU that I post about, the Humanity AU, which you can find on my tiktok (@lookingforalex189), but on Tumblr, I’ll be focusing mainly on my Fallen Folds AU, with occasional posts about minor AUs.

The rest of this post will be explaining this AU, so if you don’t wanna read that, click off now and have a good rest of your week! :3

*ahem* So BASICALLY

Instead of the events of the canon game taking place, it’s a new set of events, this time centered around the Legion of Stationery (like my goddamn mind is).

After folding Olly and Olivia, the Origami Craftsman got his hands on some magic powder from a sketchy shop, which he was told was just glitter.

The ‘glitter’ spilled onto his stationery, and bada bing bada boom, the Legion of Stationery was born!

At first, everything was normal, the LOS became normal citizens in the Mushroom Kingdom, and everything was ok for a few months.

But then, the LOS went a little… crazy. They didn’t quite understand how the real world worked, so they did things how they wanted to, without seeing any repercussions.

(Jean Pierre) Colored Pencils (The 12th) started blowing up anything he wanted, Rubber Band was kidnapping people, Hole Punch would steal peoples faces and force them to dance with him, Tape caused havoc anywhere he could, Scissors went on a murdering spree, and Stapler tried to keep his friends sane because he’s a good doggo and wanted to keep his friends from being bad :3

Olly was at first trying to reason with his legion, but after Stapler was accidentally harm in one of CP’s explosions, any chance of peace vanished.

Teamed up with Mario and Olivia, Olly used the magic powder that started it all and locked the LOS away I’m different areas, putting a curse on each one so anyone who entered could never leave, to prevent the LOS from escaping.

Olly was able to control the curse, so just in case anyone stumbled into the areas by accident and needed rescuing, he could go in, get them, and open the curse just long enough to get out without risking escape from the LOS member in that area.

Colored Pencils was stuck in the lookout tower, Rubber Band was trapped in Shogun Studios, Hole Punch was sealed away in the Temple of Shrooms, Tape was stranded on the Sea Tower, Scissors was locked away in Bowser’s dungeon, and Stapler stayed free because he did nothing wrong :3

(Notice how it’s all the streamer locations?? And I wanted to make Rubber’s the whole park instead of just the theater for story reasons.)

The Legion, however, had no clue what they were doing was wrong and was confused as to why their friend had suddenly betrayed them like this. They thought they were just having harmless fun…

And so, a few years passed, and all was well in the Mushroom Kingdom… until it wasn’t. 😉

Reports of people going missing spread through the Mushroom Kingdom. Worried, Olly checks each of the LOS’s prisons to make sure none of them had escaped…

Uh oh.

The curse on Shogun Studios had been broken.

Rubber Band was loose in the kingdom, searching for their fellow legion members to free them and continue their fun.

Olly teams up with Maurica, a talented adolescent demi-girl with a knack for technology and astronomy, who is on the search for her missing boyfriend Michael Jon Luke, or MJ as she calls him.

Will Olly and Maurica stop the Legion of Stationery’s reuprising?

Or will the legion be free to roam again, and possibly plunge the Mushroom Kingdom into insanity?

Only time, and this tumblr acc, will tell.

Anyways, I’m gonna post the designs and maybe some comics, and if you guys ask for it, more details about the story.

🩵 🧡 Ace of Hearts, signing off. 🧡 🩵

[catsafarithewriter]

A/N: still no poll privileges, so you know the drill! This time, including Hiromi!

x

"You have to tell your mum, Haru."

Haru cradled her phone between her shoulder and ear and valiantly attempted to fill out the form before her. "I really don't, Hiromi."

"You're getting married!"

"Only briefly," Haru protested. "It's like, if I were getting a tattoo I'd tell her, but I wouldn't bother with a temporary one." There was a pause. "Okay, bad analogy–"

"Yeah, 'cause you still haven't told her about the tattoo either–"

"Well then, I'm staying consistent," Haru retorted.

"Your mum's gonna be pissed when she hears you got married and didn't invite her."

"By the time she hears about it, I'll already be filing the divorce papers," Haru replied. "Anyway, even if I told her now, there'd be no way she'd make it in time."

There was a pause.

"Haru," Hiromi asked, "where exactly are you?"

"...I may be in whatever passes for a register office in the Cat Kingdom."

"Haru!"

"I mean, I say that, but it's really more of a building offshooting the palace. Hang on." Haru popped her head into the reception room. "Hey, what are all the asterisks doing beside these boxes?"

"Those are optional but recommended places you sign," the receptionist droned, sounding very much as if this was a repeated conversation. "It means you agree to the multiple reasons for divorce as valid. Bigamy. Unfaithful partner. Annulment. Etc." The Cat fixed her with a knowing look. "Just in case."

"Right. Okay." Haru returned to the desk and began the long list of signatures.

"I think you've been in the Cat Kingdom too long," Hiromi said. "Their insanity is rubbing off on you."

"You've known me since we were kids, Hiromi. I had a few marbles missing even before I moved."

"This is a special kind of insanity. I mean, what do you even think is going to happen?"

"Well, hopefully I can avoid returning to the Human World."

Hiromi's tirade faltered. "Are you using your real name?"

Haru snorted. "What other choices do I have?"

"Yeah, but if they hear about it–"

"They already know I'm in the Cat Kingdom, Hiromi. Hey, what's the Cat hieroglyphic with the three black birds mean?"

"Are they flying in formation?"

"Yeah."

"Murder. Haru, what are you reading?"

"In the event of a spouse murdering their partner, any proceedings to the remaining spouse through last will and testaments are invalid," Haru read aloud. "Honestly, I feel like if I'm caught murdering Baron, I'll have some more pressing issues at hand."

"That's assuming he doesn't murder you first."

"Thanks."

"No offence, Haru, but it's not as if you've had the best of luck judging guys–"

"Machida doesn't count," Haru said immediately.

"The dude was a lying toerag—"

"Who never murdered anybody. So I have a clean bill of non-murderers when it comes to my dating history. Anyway," she continued, before Hiromi could point out what Haru's dating history did have, "I'm not going alone. Muta's sticking around to make sure I don't get my liver stolen, or something."

"Oh great. The Cat with the mysterious lack of past is going to be your bodyguard." Hiromi hesitated. "Are you alone," she asked abruptly, as if the thought had only just occurred to her, "or are they all listening in to this conversation?"

"It's just me–"

"Quick, if they're listening in, say 'rhubarb'!"

Haru snorted. "It's just me, Hiromi. Baron had to detour off somewhere first, and Muta refuses to come anywhere near the palace."

"I told you, that Cat has some sort of history–"

"Sure, but he's still coming with me to make sure all my organs stay intact," Haru replied. "Muta's harmless."

"And the guy you're marrying for visa benefits?"

Haru snorted again. "I once watched him get a cape stuck in a revolving door. I think I'll be just fine."

[notquitejiraiya]

🔥choosing violence🔥

8, 14, 21, 22, & 25

Lets gooooooo

8) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

We’re stepping outside of Naruto and we’re stepping into territory I rarely speak about anywhere. But my opinion for this is that RPF isn’t inherently creepy, and it gets entirely too bad a rep. Yes, people definitely CAN be creepy about it, and that’s yuck. But at its core, and if one doesn’t force it upon those who are “in” the story, it’s not. Certain fandoms have overwhelmed RPF to a point it is awful, but I remember writing harmless fun adventures of my fave band travelling the world when I was like 10 and that was one of my introductions to fanfics. A blanket statement of RPF is bad/gross is nonsense.

14) that one thing you see in fics all the time

Miscommunication. It is everywhere. It is like a disease. And not GOOD miscommunication. Not like genuine accidental misunderstandings but like “X thinks Y” “have you talked to them about it?” “No” “why not” “just cause”. Ahhhhhh. Miscommunication can be good, but it’s rough when it’s bad. And it’s EVERYWHERE nowadays I swear 😭

21) part of canon you think is overhyped

I literally don’t know. I am so detached from what other people like and focus on myself and what I like to notice, but I’m gonna say the only thing I can think of which is the whole war arc 😅

22) your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I don’t think it’s necessarily ignored, but I think I have to say the part of the war arc that mirrors the sasuke retrieval arc. I never see that getting much love and I adored it.

25) common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

It will always be people complaining that there’s not enough content for X, Y or Z thing. If you think so, and if you want more, make it. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t even have to be good. But trying is better than whining.

16) you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

This is more of a “don’t know why they like DOING this thing” type thing, but I do not get the practice of forcing characters into stories when they do not fit, just because you like them want them to fit. I do not know why people like writing it and I do not know why people enjoy reading it. I know the show has a huge cast, but it’s often so hard to connect to the characters and story in fics when they do the same, and it feels so SHALLOW to me. It becomes especially tedious when including characters with fucking TINY amounts of screen time who really didn’t need to be there in the first place, and seem to just be included in fics like a stamp of: “Wow look at me, I know this insignificant character. They’re so misrepresented.” No, they’re not. They’re just not important to the masses.

Similarly (and this is becoming a general complaint now, not a “loads of people do this/like this” thing, but it’s relevant) I do not like the attitude some people give off when you don’t know that a character is from canon rather than an OC they’ve made up. Including any character is all well and good but remembering all the characters from a massive cast like naruto isn’t easy for everyone, especially non-main story characters or novel-only characters like Amagi and the like, and shouldn’t be expected. At that point they ought to be treated like an OC, because there really isn’t much to go on in canon anyway. Don’t expect too much from your readers, and give them some MEAT on characters, known or unknown. Being confusing ≠ being good.

[hunsa-jars]

Hi, sorry, but can I ask about Shaun again? Same anon who asked about him the last time. He just seems fun and the fact that he's tied to the Imp is very interesting. That guy is pretty overlooked anyway.

What does Shaun think of Stinky? Does he view Sniff as a younger brother? Who handicapped him? Did he go looking for the Imp after he found out about the tree? And did he ever kill anyone, or would he be able to?

Oh wow 👁👁

DON'T EVER APOLOGISE ANON, I LOVE THESE ASKS

Anyways, very true. Our man Mr Clown Reject is very underrated

Now, about those questions:

It depends on which Stinky we're talking about, to be honest. Tho I'm gonna make a wild assumption and say that you were thinking of 90' Stinky. Now impish creature or not.. Shaun isn't amused. IT DOESN'T MEAN HE DISLIKES HIM THOUGH! Naturally, pranks and other harmless things are okay in his book, but if Stinky goes over the line (which might lead to the possibility of others getting hurt/wronged) he will shut that down immediately.

Hmmmmm... Oof, it's pretty hard to say! Ever since the whole Imp fiasco, he was avoiding creating close bonds with others, not wanting to make the same mistake twice. But like.. It's not all that?? With him being an age-vise immortal magical creature who is still hunted, and Sniff living a safe and normal life, but being a mortal, Shaun doesn't want to risk the emotional shit show losing the other would be. So he TRIED to be casual about it! Trying to not get too close. But in the end, he watches over Sniff, asks about his day, tells him stories, gives him advice, comforts him, teaches him things, etc- They ARE close. But he will never call the rat boi his little brother. (Frickin coward-)

Honestly, I don't think I will make it anyone specific! I really wanted to pick a canon, already existing Moomin character, but we just don't have many powerful peeps for it. Like WHO would be good for this role? At first I wanted to pick the Hobgoblin but then I thought "But why would he..?" and threw the idea away. He lost his FREE USAGE of his powers because of his connection with the Imp. Because of the BOND. (Bonds are very important part of my imp lore). Their bond meant becoming strong together. If one of them dies or in the Imp's case, get imprisoned, the other one suffers too. This just means he has to store/create/consume energy in order to use his other abilities.

Yes, but he didn't accomplish anything with it. Since the tree was thrown into the sea (and it's been a while too), it could be anywhere for all he knows.

No, he never did, wouldn't be able to, but COULD. Wouldn't even need his other abilities for that. It's just not something he would do, you know? Even if he was extremely furious, even if he deems it deserved, he would catch himself. He doesn't want to prove his brother's point.

[tatakaebomb]

Stranger danger

ꕥ Pairing : Dabi x Reader

ꕥ Synopsis : You cant always go around being so naive. Not everything in the world is flowers and rainbows. Always come prepared, you never know what strangers are watching you..

ꕥ Word count : 2k

ꕥ TW : non con, dub con, dacryphilia tbf, aggressive themes, mean dom!dabi, smut, sex, aggravated themes, spanking, punishment, fingering, squirting, harsh fcking, y/n kinda bratty, deception, forced orgasm, orgasm denial, repayment, sadism, bdsm suggestion, degrading, swearing, ignored pleading, finger scissoring, dumbification, dick piercing, probs more warnings idk, 18+.

Life was different now you moved to Japan. Busier streets, friendlier people. However you never got to live that real experience, instead, sadly you were stuck with the darker side of japan. Cheap torn down buildings, hardly any running water. Your education was prioritised yet you just couldn't seem to reside anywhere...affordable.

Your luggage trailed behind you as you strolled down multiple alley ways. It was 1am at this point and you were petrified for your life. The westernised side of the world you moved from had you completely thrilled for the new experience, but this wasn't what you were entailed for.

Leaving location till last minute was your own doing. You thought it would be easier when you actually arrived here however clearly not. At this point you were preparing to settle on the streets for the night, not a blink of sleep being settled through your system.

The rattling noise of your wheels caught the attention of people, quiet mumbles and whispers being shared from people watching you, silently surrounding you waiting for their move to prance and steal everything you have.

'Well well...who do we have hear?' A stoic voice leaked from behind you. Your head spun around only to be faced with the sight of a taller man. Shining blue eyes and taunting expressions, hands recklessly slumped into his pockets as he gazes at the prey he's just caught.

'Wh- who are you?' You stumble over your words, scared for what's going to happen next.

'I'm not gonna hurt you doll. What's got a pretty girl like you out so late? Guessing your not from here hm...?'

Sounds genuine, maybe he's actually tryna help. Your heart rate settled in slightly as you observed him more, harmless and didn't have any weaponry on him, besides what's the worst that could come out of this situation anyways.

'I'm not- no. I've just moved here but I don't really have anywhere to stay.' Your head turned to the side slightly, realising how stupid those words are now they spilt out of your mouth.

'Hm...what's your name?'

'Y/N...'

'Dabi. Well doll I mean, I could help you with your issue if you want? Better off trusting a stranger than any chance of getting murdered on these streets' a slight laugh escaped from his lips as he imagined the scenario of you vulnerable and exposed to all and every bad. But you didn't see it like that, maybe he was tryna lighten the situation.

'I don't even know you.'

'True. Understandable. I mean if you wanna be stranded here suit yourself.' He shrugged. Turning around to walk off as you contemplated your ridiculous choices in this impulsive trip.

'Wait-...I guess I'll come with you'

-

'So this is where you live?'

Flicking on a light you got a glimpse of what looked more like a hide out. Ripped sofa with a dodgy TV sitting infront of it. Beers cans thrown everywhere on the floor as the kitchen was nothing but empty. Tap dripping slightly as the dishes looked like they hadn't been touched for weeks.

The bedroom was no better. One master bed with the covers not even done properly. Clothes scattered everywhere, socks and underwear on the window ceil as blunt cigarette buds thrown across the floor.

'Yep. Got a problem?'

'Nope no problem...' You wanted to get out of there, but what other hope was there. Your only choice is to look for other places in the morning, for now you can resign here.

'Take the couch. There's blankets on the floor. But there's always room next to me.' A cigarette drew from his lips as you observed the place you were staying in. Lips curling into a smirk as he watched you tremble slightly in his presence. His body slumped onto the door frame.

'Why are you doing this? I don't know you.'

'That's exactly why doll.' His face moved closer to yours as he blew smoke straight into your face, hand moving to brush hair over your ear as he watched your doe eyes almost melt.

'What?'

'I wanna get to know you better. Pretty girls like you don't come round often...' he pushed you more into the other side of the door frame. Fingers moving to tweeze slightly at your vest strap. Observing the way the material slaps straight back at your skin.

'You know doll, your way too gullible to be out in Japan. Maybe you need somebody like me with you at all times, you know, helping you.'

'L-look I'll give you money. Anything. P-please let me go- don't hurt me...' you stammer over your words in fear, frozen up with so little space to move as his fingers begin to curl around your bra strap, eyes darting up to meet yours back again.

'Hm- I wasn't gonna hurt you doll. But now you said it doesn't sound like a bad idea... and I don't want your money, you can repay me in other ways' a snarl rose on his lips as he inched closer to you, breath melting on your face as you shivered in fear.

'Your so naieve. Usually people don't just rush into peoples homes like this, you must be real desperate. Don't worry I'll take good care of you doll.'

His lips quickly latched onto yours as his hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you tightly close towards him, tongue lapping at your saliva that leaves every time you frantically attempt to shut your mouth.

He guides you towards his bed, hand pushing the back of your head towards his mouth as he manages to push you down and climb on top of you, mouth inching lower and lower onto your bare skin as he began kissing gently on your neck.

'No- NO PLEASE- I- I- I don't d- w-' you felt yourself beginning to melt into his warm touch as he started to suck a deep mark into the sensitive part of your neck, hand clawing at his body as your eyes were slammed closed.

'Mm try hurt me doll- I'll just hurt you worse.'

His threat shot through you as you felt yourself almosy submitting to him. Back starting to arch as he dragged the sleeves of your top of. Bra on full display as he moved away from your body. Admiring the sight beneath him.

Makeup washed over your face as tears sobbed from your lips, red lips pouty and sore as your eyes were innocent and raw.

Dabi liked nothing more than a ruined woman. You were precious, prettiest sight he's ever seen.

'GET OFF OF ME.' You screamed managing to throw a push hard enough to get his body off of you. He tumbled back slightly as you attempted to run for the door.

Suddenly you felt you cheek go red. Harsh collision made your eyes twitch as your go to relieve yourself of the pain. He slapped you. You were so in shock from the pain you didn't even notice the sadistic smile making his way on his face.

'So you wanna be a brat hm? Okay. Two can play at that game.'

Grabbing your body he pushed your arms behind your back. Throwing you so your ass was pushed flush against his crotch. His other free hand moving to push your back into a lower arch as he pushed his hard cock against your clothed ass. The skirt beginning to hike up leaving your cotton panties on almost full display.

'Count with me doll- 1-'

His hand flew down to slap the flabby skin on your ass. His dick getting harder with every whine that escaped your lips.

'I said FUCKING COUNT!' He hiked the material of your skirt up completely as he painfully pinched your ass leaving you sobbing.

'O-one.'

'2'

SLAP

'Two...'

'3'

SLAP

'T-three p-please stop il-'

'4'

SLAP

'FOUR'

'You sound so good when you scream. Try not to be too loud for this last one hm princess'

Before comprehending his words you felt him practically force through you. Hand leaving the harshest mark, blistering your skin slightly as you screamed heavily into the pillows. His hand loosely letting go of the one grabbing your arms to take a drag from his cigarettes. His line of sight catching the way you had a growing wet patch leaking from your panties.

'Fuck doll your actually getting off to this? Fucking slut'

'N-no...' you weakly protested. Panting heavily tryna catch your breath from all the crying and loss off energy.

'Shutup brat. Fuck- your dripping...' he pushed your panties to a side. Fingers scissoring inside of you investing the mess you made all by yourself. Sinister smug smile coming to rest on him. Happy hums escaping his throat as he was content with the abuse he was giving.

Before you know it you mindlessly began fucking yourself on your fingers, moans spewing out of your mouth as you pushed yourself on and off of his fingers, dabis crotch getting tighter at the sight of you.

'Mm- dabi t-not enough..need you.' You mindlessly ached for him. Hand reaching back to grab at him and you look over your shoulder. His blue eyes beaming into yours as he almost came at the sight of how submissive you were being.

'You finally want me hm? Alright doll I'll show you whose really boss'

You heard the clicking noises of his belt coming undone. Your thirsty eyes coming into contact with his length as you admired the size. The Prince Albert piercing glowing out to you as your saliva began to almost drip out of your mouth. Dabis ego was no smaller at this point.

In one quick movement he thrusted fast inside you. Hands reaching to rest on both side of your waist as he rubbed small circles into your hip. Pleas and cries escaping you as you start to hump yourself on him.

'F-fuck s-stop that. Shit fine you wanna get fucked hard? I'll fuck you hard'

'DABI!!' You screamed. He quickly began thrusting in you, metallic piercing hitting your clit every time as you practically screamed in pain and pleasure. Little head mounted down into the covers beneath you as you gripped the sheets harshly. Your head lifting up every now and then with every hard push.

'A-ah yes like that yes yes yes' you moaned. Eyes rolling to the back of your head with the feeling of your bruised cervix. Legs trembling as he constantly watched the way your hole tightened around him. Gaping every time he pulled it even millimetres out.

'D-dabi I'm g-gonna cum-'

'No your not. Hold it until I fucking say so slut. Got it?'

His mouth came close to your ear as he continued pounding inside you. Your mind swirling at the thought of your denied release. His tongue licked at your skin as you heard a slightly moan escape his lips before he spoke. Teeth gritted sadistic words.

'Cum before me and I'll eat you out with hot sauce. Got it'

What the fuck.

He returned to slamming inside you. Your hole getting tighter in an attempt to not release over him.

'Mmm your so good for me doll. So glad this ass is all mine' he rubbed the skin gently before laying a harsh Mark, fingers clawing inside your ass as you screamed. Attempting to push him off but he had the dominance over the two.

'Stay sti- still now doll f-fuck'

Quickly you felt yourself being filled up. Warm cum pooling inside your stomach As he still prodded inside of you. Fucking himself out of his release.

'Fucking cum with me slut'

On instant you felt yourself squirt, liquids spraying everywhere as dabi was nothing less but mesmerised the way you just did that on order. Little Whiney voice screaming as you slumped down on the bed tired. Half shut eyes looking back to stare at the way his head was still thrown back as he threw small slow thrusts inside of you. Milking himself to the very end.

'You look so pretty like that- f-fuck. Wanna get on your knees for me now doll... pay this months rent in advance hm?'

[kageyuji]

asking him how to confess to your crush (him)

⤷ oikawa, suna, bokuto, iwaizumi ; [gn!reader]

TAGS: fluff/crack if you squint, confessions

NOTES: please reblog or i’ll cry

━━ OIKAWA

you can’t miss the momentary look of sadness, but he quickly hides it with a cocky smile

he tells you the cheesiest possible way to confess to someone. he doesn’t even know if it’ll work on not

(he actually hopes it doesn’t, but he can’t just be an asshole and tell you something that clearly won’t work)

but once he realizes that he is the person you like, his mind jumps to several different places all at once

he’s happy but also he can’t properly form words, please bear with him </3

“Oikawa?”

He hummed a response to you, ghost of a smile on his lips. He always liked the way you said his name, even if it was just his family name.

“I have a favor... so there’s this guy that I like, and I wasn’t sure how to tell him. Do you think you could give me ideas?”

You don’t miss the pout on his lips, the way his eyebrows furrow, the hurt in his eyes. If one were to blink, they wouldn’t have missed it. He smiled and laughed, quickly trying to hide how much his heart ached.

People — in reality, only makki and mattsun — had asked you if you had feelings for someone. But you never gave them an answer, just a flustered smile and a shrug.

“Uhm... I don’t know, depends on the person. You can get a bouquet or something, and chocolates maybe?”

A smile lit up your face. He had looked so pained to say it; his nose was wrinkled up a little, one hand at the back of his neck, eyes looking anywhere but you.

“Oh, yeah! That sounds sweet, he might like that. Should I ask him what his favorite flowers are?”

“Yeah.” His heart sunk impossibly lower.

“Got it. So, what are your favorite flowers?”

He looked up from where he’d taken a sudden interest in the floor, looking around for someone else. But no one seemed to be engaging in a conversation with you — actually, he realized it was only you and him in the room.

“No, I meant ask this guy that you like.”

“I just did.”

He doesn’t say anything at first, eyes wide and lips parted. There’s something in his eyes that you can’t quite read. Shock, or was in confusion? There was also an undertone of hurt, like he couldn’t tell if this was some sick joke or not.

“You mean... me? I’m the- you have feelings for me?”

Your heart fell then — of course you’d been nervous to tell him. But with the constant flirting, you were beginning to think that maybe it wasn’t just harmless and playful anymore. That maybe even if it was still done playfully, there was truth behind those words, behind the smiles and the winks he sent you.

“If you don’t feel the same way, it’s fine, I just-”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I was just a little surprised is all. I feel the same way, and you’re great, really, I just figured I wasn’t your type.”

“But you are.” You said, heating rising in your cheeks. Nothing could mask the smile he wore, even if he was trying not fight it.

“And you are my type. Guess we’re both lucky, hm?”

━━ SUNA

he is determined not to let you notice how his heart stopped in his chest

he still holds the same disinterested, bored look on his face as always, although he’s unaware you could see right through him

refuses to give you advice on how to go about confessing

in fact, the last thing he wants to do is be around you — he knows you were never his, so he can’t be upset, but it still turns his stomach

tell him before he can find an excuse to leave, or else your confession will be a lot more painstaking due to him dodging any interaction with you

“So uh... if you were to confess to someone you like, how do you think you would do it?” Your voice sounded so sweet, so genuine.

“Why? You have a little crush on somethin’?” He laughed.

“Yeah, actually.”

Oh.

You don’t miss the way his nose scrunches and the look in his eyes. He’s looking at the floor with narrowed eyes, almost as though the floor was the cause of his jealousy.

Well, not his jealousy — he wasn’t jealous, was he?

“Hm,” He hums, and you find him putting back on the same incurious face that he always wore. “I don’t know, elaborate confessions are pointless. Just tell the person how you feel. If they really like you, they won’t turn you aware for being simple.”

“Ah, that’s true.” You smile, though it’s fueled with nervousness. “So, one more thing I gotta say then.”

“Make it quick, I’ve to be somewhere soon.” Suna hates the bitter taste in his mouth.

He knows he shouldn’t care, after all he’s never worked up the courage to spill his heart to you, so he doesn’t have a right to feel like something is being torn — no, stolen — away from him.

“Right. You said simple, so... I like you, and I think you’re really sweet. And you’re funny and you’re so caring, even though you would never admit that. Um, I hope that was boiled down enough for you.”

“You’re kidding right?”

The tone in his voice is almost accusatory, although he doesn’t mean it to be, he just genuinely doesn’t believe you. When had you ever shown interest in him? Not that he was complaining.

“No. But it’s fine if you d-”

“I never said that. If you mean it though, maybe you can tell me the longer version of everything you like about me. Over coffee or something?”

━━ BOKUTO

ok first off, let me stop you right there, because baby boy is gonna get so sad :(

there is no hiding the hurt he’s feeling. he’s always expressive, even though he’s trying to hide it

please stop him there because his mood is only going downhill

actually tells you some elaborate, thought out thing that you assumed was from the top of his head

(although in reality, he’s thought about telling you how he feels on countless times)

but when he realizes that you’re talking about him he instantly does a 180, he looks like he’s in heaven

“Bokuto!” You call his name with a smile. You’ve found you can always get a matching one from him whenever you do so.

And of course he smiles back at you, the same excited look in his eyes as always. “Y/n!”

“I need advice.” You say.

His expression drops into one of worry at your tone. If there was anything that Bokuto hated in this world, it was seeing you upset.

“What is it?”

“I need to know how to tell someone that I have feelings for them.”

And just like that, you can see his heart break through his expression. His eyebrows pin up and he presses his lips into a thin line. You can tell that he’s trying not to show you how bothered he was by that one sentence.

He always was bad at pretending he was fine though. It was clear, if nothing else you could see his watery eyes.

“Oh... uhm. Can I ask who the person is?”

You’re hesitant to say it. But you don’t know why, because his reaction was your final bit of proof that he had feelings for you too. He hadn’t been subtle before, but now it was obvious.

“You.”

“What?” Bokuto said, although the word was breathless.

He doesn’t wait for you to respond to him. Instead, the wide smile he always wore appeared back on his face and he wrapped his arms around you.

Usually, Bokuto’s hugs are tight anyway. They’re filled with a need to be close to you and a need to convey the emotion of ‘you are the only thing grounding me right now’.

But this one was tighter. He buried his face into your neck, but you could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke. “I may have to confess to someone too.”

━━ IWAIZUMI

iwaizumi is a gentleman about it, as much as he doesn’t want to be

if anything, he wants to tell you right then and there about his feelings

but the fact (or rather, the thought) that you’ve taken an interest in someone else is all the evidence he needs to stop himself

the last thing he wants to do it mess with your emotions so he intends to stuff he feelings down to deepest parts of his mind in hopes that they’ll one day disappear

until of course, he realizes that he is the guy you’d been talking about

he gets giddy, believe it or not. he hates to admit it sometimes, but unbeknownst to you, you have so much control over his emotions

“So, Iwa?” You said, and he tried to overlook the cautious tone to your voice.

“Hm?”

“Uh, theres this guy that I kind of have feelings for. But the thing is, I don’t know how to tell him.” You sound nervous.

Iwaizumi assumes it’s from the thought of having to tell this person your feelings, yet he doesn’t realize that said person is him and it’s coming sooner than he’d realized.

He doesn’t say anything in response to you at first. His eyes narrow only slightly, then he takes a deep breath and turns back to you with his usual expression.

“If you’re going to tell them, do something sweet and simple. If you get all extravagant with it, it might freak ‘em out. Maybe... I dunno, buy a little gift and tell them?

He hid it well. The mix of jealousy, regret, and sadness in him was painful, but he clenched his fists and tried not to let his voice crack. If there was someone you knew that didn’t cry, it was Iwaizumi. Yet here he was, doing everything in his power not show how upset he was.

What was he even doing anyway? He was helping you find a lover that was not himself. Not that you even knew that, because in reality he’d never shown to you that he had feelings towards you.

That was something he was regretting a lot now.

“Oh I see, what kind of gift would you like?”

Ouch. As though this couldn’t hurt more. “I don’t know, depends on the person. Ask him, not me.”

“I just did, dummy.”

It took him a few seconds to process that, then another few seconds for the relief and happiness to wash over him. A smile rugged at the corner of his lips.

“That’s cute. You and I can go out somewhere this weekend and I can help you pick something out, hm?”

[moemoemammon]

Do you mind if request headcanons for the brothers where MC is just a lovable idiot and the brothers realize they’re moronsexual?

Lovable Idiot MC!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

He saw your carefree airheaded-ness from a mile away, from the moment you popped through that portal and your reaction was.... well, it was definitely enough for him to get a rough estimate of your IQ.

And honestly? He didn’t expect you to last long, yet by some literal miracle you’ve survived. If anything he thought you'd have wandered into a demon's clutches by now, so maybe you've got extraordinary luck?

A moronsexual in denial, he'll be damned if he said you didn’t somehow...grow on him..... He REFUSES to acknowledge how he finds your clumsy but earnest attitude endearing as hell. The way your brain finds the most obscure ways to solve problems is adorable for sure, but kind of reminds him of Mammon.... ugh...

You're going to give him new grey hairs, you know that? The stress of being surrounded by seven idiots was enough, but EIGHT?? Lucifer needs a vacation. Of course, he'll happily invite you along, too (paired with a child leash).

Mammon

Eyyy same brain 🧠🤝🧠 With your two brain cells combined, it's a wonder the House of Lamentation hasn't burned down yet. You both seem to cause chaos wherever you go, like some kind of cursed dynamic duo.

But seriously, that numbskull of yours is gonna get you eaten some day! Guess the Great Mammon has to do his best to keep you out of the clutches of nasty demons! But his services don't come cheap, understand?

You thought Mammon was protective before, just wait till he realizes how scatterbrained you can be. Won’t let you out of his sight, INSISTS that you summon him to accompany you when you go somewhere, even if it means he's gotta wait outside the bathroom for you. And don't think of saying no!

He's never had to work this hard in his life! He swears keeping you alive is like trying to brush Cerberus's teeth! But... it's kinda nice having someone around that he can get along with so well! Seeing as he isn't the only dumbass (affectionate) around.

Levi

Was an ass when he first met you. There was no way he’d let a klutzy human like YOU anywhere NEAR his room, let alone his precious merch collection! Go put your normie brain to use and binge watch TSL! THEN he'll be willing to talk to you!

But then he realized that you were kind of m-moe, in an annoying way.... You might not have understood anything when he suddenly dumped mountains of TSL trivia on you, but you were happy to listen anyway! It was like your smile was giving him the strength to keep info-dumping... 👉👈

He’s watched enough anime to know someone in need of protection when he sees them! And you’re definitely the 'lovable, airheaded sidekick/fan favorite’ character trope! If he's not careful, you'll fall into the evil clutches of someone horrible when he's not looking-!

Levi’s not usually into those types because of the cliches, but there’s no way he can resist the goofy smile on your face when you agree to play video games with him....

Satan

Satan would’ve ignored you in the beginning had it not been for how... spacey you could be. And being the bastard man he was, his first idea was to see what kind of trouble he could get you into. You seemed the easy type, anyway.

And yet as time went on and he started actually caring about you, he realized that you were just... a little.... uneducated. Luckily for you, Satan has enough knowledge in his nog for the both of you! He wouldn't mind teaching you a few things?

Aaaand that's a bust. He can't seem to get anything to stick in that thick skull of yours, but he can't be annoyed when you seem to be giving it your all. You're really determined, and that face you're making while you study is...

Ehem. Maybe that's enough book work for the day? He'd much rather learn the wonderful things about you, and enjoy the things you like to do. Teach him carefully, okay?

Asmo

You’re Asmo’s favorite kind of person! To manipulate- So soft and innocent, and he finds you absolutely ADORABLE! He can’t get enough of your cute, dazed looks! Ah, the way you stare blankly at people when you don’t know what’s going on... So cute! ❤️

Having a thing for corruption means you’re the apple of Asmo’s eye. But as he starts liking you more, he realizes that you... get into trouble a lot. You're way too gullible for your own good! You should realize how dangerous it is to be that cute!

At this rate, ANYONE could gobble you up and Asmo would die! He's got to make sure his cute little MC stays safe and sound, so he spends lots of time making sure to leave his mark on you one way or another, be it the lingering smell of his perfume, or other more.. physical marks. That seems to keep the nasties away!

He doesn't mind being a moronsexual. If anything, he's an everyonesexual. Now come to his room! He's been missing your terribly, so why don't you tell him about your day?

Beel

Beel isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer to begin with, so it takes him a long while to realize that you aren't either. What makes it obvious is how much of a knack for trouble you seem to have. It's almost like you're doing it on purpose... but at least you're nice..?

You only seemed like an easy snack to him at first, but now he finds himself saving you constantly from getting yourself into dangerous situations. Like when he caught you standing at the top of the stairs, probably contemplating whether or not you could jump to the last step.

Get used to Beel just picking you up all the time. He'll carry you away from danger and keep you close like the overactive toddler you are. He'll offer to do little tasks for you, too.

He's not saying he's worried that you're somehow hurt yourself using the microwave, but…he's worried that you're somehow hurt yourself using the microwave-

Belphie

He can only think that your personality is exactly what made you such an easy target. Who in their right mind would trust a shady guy in the attic anyway, let alone set him free? YOU, that's who. You were so naive, it was hilarious!

But now it's not so hilarious unless he's e one teasing you. You seem to fall for ANY prank, and while he thinks that's cute, it's also worrisome... He knows there are demons that'd love to eat you, so what if they tricked you into going with them?

Guess he's gotta go to school to protect you.... Jk. He'll just keep you from going! You're much safer if you just nap all day with him, right? Ah, he and Beel were gonna play video games together. Wanna join?

Oh yeah, and don't think you're safe from still being harassed. It's all harmless fun but he can't get enough of how easy it is to trick you. The kind of bastard to tell you to go into the auto-shop and ask for blinker fluid. He loves you though! ❤️

[etheriaaly]

Just The Two Of Us [C! Tommyinnit x GN! Reader]

FLUFF TO ANGST (PLATONIC)  WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, character death, cursing

Reader pronouns: They/them 

A/N: Hi, this is my first DSMP fanfic so uhh I hope u enjoy lmao. There might be grammatical errors so pls do not mind it :D

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ∣ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

—

[Y/N] already lost count of all the pranks and chaos they made with Tommy. They didn't like causing havoc or pulling pranks on people but if Tommy asked them to tag along, they would. Tommy is their best friend after all. Plus, where's the fun in life without a little risk?

[Y/N] was just at their Cottage house, peacefully making the potions that Quackity ordered just hours ago. Since [Y/N] is a skilled witch, it was no shock when they owned a Potions business. Everyone in the SMP server knows about this and they usually come and buy their potions. 

They were about to finish the last set of potions that Quackity ordered until they ran out of ingredients. "Dammit." [Y/N] muttered under their breath. They turned around and immediately went to find if they have any stock ingredients in their barrels or chests.

When they saw no stock ingredients, [Y/N] sighed and decided to do some last minute ingredients grinding. It was until they opened the door and saw Tommy standing in front of their house door.

[Y/N] knew that his presence is no good because that motherfucker is grinning ear to ear. They playfully groaned and asked, "What is it this time child?"

"Hey, I told you not to call me a child anymore!" Tommy suddenly protested, feeling insulted but went back to his sly grin and said, "Let's prank Skeppy and Bad." 

"That's a horrible idea." 

"Come on, bitch. It'll be fun." 

And they did come with Tommy. A couple hours had passed and [Y/N] had already forgotten about the ingredients they were gonna get for Quackity's potions. Tommy said that Big Q's order can wait but the prank can't. 

It wasn't long after Bad and Skeppy saw the two teenagers doing their little harmless prank on them. 

[Y/N] caught sight of the two and immediately tugged on Tommy's shirt. "Fuck, Tommy we gotta go." 

Tommy, unfazed and still focused on the prank, said, "Just a little longer." 

[Y/N] nudged Tommy's side using her elbows as the two teenagers can now hear Skeppy and Bad's incoherent yelling drawing closer and closer to them. 

"RUN!" [Y/N] yelled as they both left the things they used to try to prank BBH and Skeppy. 

The two let out a laugh as they ran away. Tommy constantly turned his head back to see if Skeppy and Bad are still after them. 

[Y/N] and Tommy continued to run even though Bad and Skeppy stopped coming after them. It wasn't until the two teenagers finally stopped running so that they could catch their breath. 

"What now?" [Y/N] gasped, who is still out of breath from both running and laughing at the same time. They looked at Tommy. 

Tommy grinned again and then grabbed their arm, "I have something pog to show you." 

[Y/N] didn't question Tommy and just let him drag them to a mountain. 

Once they have reached the destination, [Y/N] let out a 'wow'. The view is breathtaking and it is very peaceful. The mountain isn't that very far from the SMP but it looks like very few have come across this part. 

"So, what do you think?" Tommy asked, looking at the view. The view consists of the calming ocean waves and a peaceful sunsetting with birds passing by. 

[Y/N] turned to Tommy and smiled, "This could be our secret spot." They slowly walked towards the edge of the mountain cliff but were immediately stopped by Tommy. 

"Oh, [Y/N] wait. Be careful, the edge of the cliff looks really faulty." Tommy warned. 

[Y/N] immediately stepped back a little and took note of what Tommy said. But, they were still curious and looked down at the edge of the cliff, only to see the water from below. 

If someone would fall from this cliff and took a heavy impact on the water, that person wouldn't survive due to how high the mountain cliff is. 

[Y/N] then proposed, "You know, when things are stressful and stuff. We can just go here, sit in silence and look at the view as the wind or the waves takes away our problems for a while." 

"Just the two of us." The blonde haired lad said and then they both stood in silence, admiring the view and beauty of the server. 

Oh, if only you could turn back in time and relive this memory. If only things are still the same the way it was before. 

It's been so long since [Y/N] had fun and peace. Probably so many months since Tommy first showed them their secret mountain hangout area. 

[Y/N] currently stood still, gazing at the view that was once calm and peaceful but was now replaced with sounds of flying TNTs, fireworks and screams from the background.

They were in no state of mind as of the moment. They don't even know what to do anymore. A lot has changed ever since the wars, the exilation of Tommy. 

[Y/N] sniffed, wiping their tears using their now mangy sleeves caused by the current chaotic event. They continued to stare at the ocean, a potion of poison glistening in their hands. 

[Y/N] looked at the Potion of Poison that they were holding and pondered whether to drink it or not. 

Maybe it's best to end it once and for all. They don't have anywhere to go anyways. They don't have any friends or family to turn back to since everyone is against them or thought badly of them now. 

[Y/N] can't even go back to L’manberg as well since they're now a wanted criminal for breaking the laws and escaping from their house since they're supposed to be on house arrest for the crimes they didn't even do. 

They opened the cork of the potion, but they didn't drink it yet. They let their mind wander for a while and process everything that has happened. 

Maybe Dream was right. Maybe the people they loved never even cared for them at all. Maybe it was all just a lie. Maybe—

"[Y/N]." A familiar voice that they haven't heard in a while. 

It was windy. The cool breeze of air touched their skins. But along with the wind, there are particles of TNT or fireworks dusts. 

The [H/C] haired person turned around and saw their best friend for the first time in months. 

"Tommy." [Y/N] replied. Their voice were hoarse and dry. "What are you- What are you doing here?" 

"I could ask you the same thing." Tommy glared at them.

[Y/N] quietly groaned, closed their eyes for a while and pinched their nose bridge, still holding the potion on their other hand. "So, you believe all that shit?"

"Enough for me to believe the fact you tried to murder Tubbo, burn my invites and team up with Dream." 

Tommy added, "Maybe they were right about you. You're Dream's sibling after all." 

[Y/N] scoffed and threw their available hand around the air, "He may be my sibling, but we are never alike." 

"Why, [Y/N]? Why did you do it?" Tommy asked, hands gripping tighter on his sword. "Did Dream finally get into your head for you to commit these crimes? Or did you just do it because it's in your blood?" 

"You don't know a thing that happened," [Y/N] harshly spit back, completely trying to avoid the topic of Dream. "Of course you don't. You were exiled."

Tommy never understood why. Why had they turned like this? He felt rage and betrayal. During his exiled time, Tommy thought that they were gonna be that one person who would try to find him. Comfort him or even send him secret coded messages. But no, he received nothing. 

It hurts. Hurts like hell to know your best friend turned their back on everyone. A best friend that he has known for years. A part of him wants to believe they didn't do it but the proofs are enough for him to believe it was really them. 

"Well, you really can't blame me can you? You can only blame yourself," [Y/N] said. "This all started because of you and your stupid discs. All you ever care about is the FUCKING DISCS. Wars started, lives were lost, relationships were destroyed, all just because of those discs." 

They had never done this before. This was their first time just being angry and shouting at each other. Although this might be new to each other, it was obvious that they have been bottling up their emotions way too long. 

"You know what?! Things would be so much better if only you didn't exist." Tommy instantly regretted what he said as soon as he saw a potion glisten from [Y/N]'s hands. 

He may not be an expert but he knew well enough of the potions due to him hanging out too much with them before. "What are you doing?" Tommy immediately asked. "Is that a potion of poison?" 

"Nothing for you to care about." [Y/N] turned back towards the cliff and stared at the view once again. 

"Just the two of us again here, huh?" They said as they pulled the potion towards their mouth, just inches away from the lips now until Tommy hurriedly ran towards [Y/N] and tackled them. 

"What are you, an idiot?!" Tommy scolded as they both fought each other while trying not to fall from the cliff. He tried to pull the potion of poison away but it was hard since they kept gripping on it. 

It wasn't until Tommy was finally able to remove the potion from [Y/N]'s grasps. He threw the potion far away as it got smashed on the ground. 

The two of them were too busy fighting over the potion to notice that one of them is now standing on the faulty edge of the cliff. 

[Y/N] was on the edge of the cliff and accidentally backed away from Tommy, thinking there was still space. A loud shriek came out of their mouth.

Tommy immediately ran towards the edge, scrambled on his feet and looked down. Luckily, [Y/N] was able to hold onto the edge but their hands are shaky and tired from all the things that just happened. 

"I got you, I got you." Tommy frantically muttered, his breath increasing as to not knowing what will happen next. 

[Y/N] grip is slowly failing. Once their hands slipped, Tommy instantly grabbed their hands and tried to pull them back up. But, he too was tired from everything that has been happening. 

He tried to pull them up again but it was no use. Stress was adding up even more the moment they both felt the edge of the cliff shaking once more. 

Tommy can't do it anymore. So, he let out all the tears he's been trying to fight back. 

"It's gonna be okay, Tommy. Let me go." 

The blonde haired teen's eyes widened at [Y/N]'s statement. He can't do it. He can't bear to lose another loved one in his life. 

"I can't lose you too, [N/N]." Tommy croaked. 

The two might've fought just minutes ago but this is now a life and death situation. Problems and angst aside, they still care for each other. 

"You already did." Tommy's eyes widened in confusion and sadness. [Y/N] forced their hand to slip from his as Tommy tried to tighten it even more. [Y/N] had a few energies remaining, so they used it to push themselves off the cliff with their foot, making Tommy let go. 

For Tommy, everything is going so fast that his mind almost stopped working. 

But everything was in slow motion for [Y/N]. The fresh wind was so refreshing, almost making them forget what is currently happening to them. 

They closed their eyes, not wanting to see anymore reactions from Tommy. This is their end. This was meant to be. 

The moment [Y/N] chose to fall out from Tommy's grip, the blonde panicked and set aside all items he had with him. Without thinking properly, he lunged himself off the cliff. The only goal he had in mind was to save [Y/N] before it's too late. 

But he was, indeed, late. 

Everyone's communicator beeped. They all took at least some time to look at what the message could be on the communicator. As soon as everyone read the 2 words, their jaws dropped. 

[Y/N] drowned. 

[strawberryslasher]

Hi! I couldn't find your rules (the link just sent me to the post saying to read the rules) so hopefully I'm not violating any of them. Can I get one where the slashers get jealous? Maybe one of the victims starts hitting on the S/O?

Hi! I don’t know what’s up with the rules. When I click on it in the pinned post, you can scroll down and read the Request Rules. Your request is fine though!

The Slashers Getting Jealous

Michael Myers

Michael keeps following you around even after you two get together. It’s a hard habit to break. He’s also been stalking his latest victim. When the two of you end up in the same place, it doesn’t particular matter to him. But when the victim starts hitting on you, he’s pissed.

You’re his. No one gets to touch you or talk to you like that but him. He’ll watch for a moment keeping track of the way the victim interacts with you. They touch you? They’re gonna lose their hands? Whisper sweet things? Well, they don’t need their tongue anyway.

He won’t even mention to you that he saw them flirting with you. He’ll just leave later that night and get rid of them.

When you see the news broadcast about them being violently murdered later that week, you’ll know it was him. He’ll admit it if you ask him. It’s not a secret that no one else gets to be around you like he is. He’s just reasserting that fact.

Jason Voorhees

He isn’t really the jealous type but he is very protective. A lot of people come to the camp either to see the “Spooky Camp of Jason Voorhees” (and get more than they bargained for) or they’re looking for a fun time and somewhere secluded. Either way, he gets rid of them. 

But sometimes, you happen to stumble over them before he does. When that does happen, you try your best to get away from them as fast as you can but sometimes they keep you talking. 

If Jason notices one of the victims talking to you and getting too close, he’s more upset about them getting their filthy hands on you than anything. He wants you away from them. 

He’ll let you talk to them until you manage to wiggle away. He’ll get rid of them afterwards and get back to you as quickly as possible. After doing what he does, he prefers to have you nearby to remind him that he’s a good person despite all this. 

Just hold him and tell you you love him. He’s a good person despite it all and he wants you to stay with him forever and keep reminding him, just as he’ll keep reminding you how much he loves you

Bubba Sawyer

He’s not really the jealous type either. When he sees someone flirting with you, he gets more sad than anything.

They’re a good looking person. You’re smiling when you’re talking to them. He can’t help but imagine what your life would be like if you were with them instead.

When he hears the victim hitting on you, it just makes him feel worse. They obviously like you. What if they steal you away?

He might get a little jumpy. He’s eager to get rid of them so that they won’t take you away but he also doesn’t want to force you to stay.

But when you lead them into the house and smile at him with that warm look, he’ll relax. He’ll go downstairs to get his chainsaw while you lull them into a false sense of security.

Expect him to be more clingy that night. You’re still hear about maybe if he holds you tight enough, you’ll never leave him.

Thomas Hewitt

Definitely more jealous than his counterpart. He’s more possessive. You’re his. He’s yours. No one is going to come between the two of you.

When he sees the victim flirting with you, he’s watching you two like a hawk. He won’t intervene. He doesn’t want to scare away your next meal. But he gets more and more upset the more they get close to you.

They’re not going to have a very quick end. You’ll have to turn your music up upstairs to drown out their screaming.

Once they’re dead, Thomas is relieved. They can’t do anything now to jeopardize your relationship.

Expect him to kiss and touch you more for the rest of the day. He loves you. He wants to make you’re you remember that.

Brahms Heelshire

You have someone doing a small job around the house whether it be construction or maintenance. Brahms isn’t happy about it but it needs to be done.

He’s impatient on his best days. He’s a menace now. He wants these people out of his house.

When one of them starts flirting with you, you know that this isn’t going to end well. Brahms is pissed inside the walls. His possessive nature spikes and he wants to rip the person’s head off.

Brahms doesn’t jump out or anything to stop them but you can feel his eyes on you watching you both. Even after they leave, he doesn’t come out no matter how much you call for him.

That night when you crawl into bed you aren’t surprised when he crawls in after you. He’s talk in his child voice asking if you still love him. If you’re going to leave him for that guy. He’ll want kisses and hugs and reassurance that you’re not going anywhere.

Don’t expect to leave the house anytime soon. He’s not letting you out of his sight.

Asa Emory (The Collector)

When Asa sees the victim flirting with you, he doesn’t think anything of it. You’re beautiful of course people are going to hit on you. But he’s confident that you’re not going to leave him. In fact, the thought doesn’t even cross his mind.

Now if you flirt back that’s another story. He’s about as possessive as they come. You’re his. Even if it’s harmless flirting, he doesn’t like it and he’ll make sure to tell you as much later.

He’ll probably nonchalantly insert himself into the conversation. He’d rather not look territorial in front of the victim but he wants you away from them.

You’ll be in for a punishment later. By the time he’s done with you, he’ll have reaffirmed that no one but him can satisfy you.

[havenoffandoms]

Hey congrats on 900 followers! Would I be able to request the touch starved prompt from your list with the pairing Aiden/Lambert please? Love all your writing!

Hello!! Thanks for requesting this prompt and this pairing! I’ve been on a right Lambden kick recently, so I felt inspired. I hope you like it! 

Prompt 13: Touch-Starved

Pairing: Aiden x Lambert

Warnings: None

Prompt List

Lambert was apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together. Being stabbed to death in his sleep comes to mind, or having Aiden go all batshit crazy if Lambert dared to beat him at Gwent. Lambert has heard many rumours about Cat witchers in his long life. Cats are batshit crazy. Cats are emotionally volatile. Cats are backstabbing sons of bitches… literally and metaphorically. Cats are bad. Cats are evil, etc, etc. All these rumours circulated in Kaer Morhen long before Lambert even set foot in that ramshackle castle. He was too young to have witnessed the Tournament, but he heard the older witchers talk. Later in his life, when only a handful of wolf witchers were left after the sacking, Eskel gave Lambert a more detailed account of the Tournament.

“The Cats betrayed us, went on a rampage. Killed many wolf witchers in the process. Geralt and I lost many friends that day,” Eskel told him one evening, when the oldest surviving wolf was too far in his cup to notice that he was oversharing. “Radowit’s court mage Astrogarus promised the Cats monopoly on killing monsters within Kaedwen in exchange for attacking the Wolves during the tournament. Turns out Radowit was a backstabbing motherfucker himself. He ordered his soldiers to shoot all of the remaining witchers of both schools in the arena.”

“Lemme guess,” Lambert spoke, his own speech slightly slurred, “pretty boy saved the day?” 

Eskel shook his head. “Fled. Mousesack helped him escape the massacre. Poor bastard never forgave himself for abandonin’ our brothers, but what choice did he have?”

Don’t get Lambert wrong. He’s not saying that Aiden is harmless, far from it. The guy’s lethal with his swords, deadly with a pair of daggers, not to mention a stealthy and clever thief. Aiden is mercurial, hot-tempered and a bit feral when he wants to be, and his morals are at best dubious. Whereas wolf witchers had their emotions beaten out of them at a young age, cat witchers feel too much, too strongly. Lambert’s witnessed Aiden flip tables when peasants beat him at Gwent, but he’s also witnessed the Cat shed a tear after bringing the news to a mother that her son did not survive the ghoul attack two villages down the road. 

Lambert was apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together, but the Cat had never ceased to surprise him. The most unexpected trait Aiden has displayed to date is his insatiable need for physical contact. It’s not like Lambert hates being touched - he’s only human, albeit a mutated one, but still human. He enjoys a hug as much as the next person, especially when said hug comes from one of his brothers (or, dare he say, Vesemir) at the end of a long and difficult year on the Path. Lambert has also never begrudged a bed partner a post-coital cuddle session. Aiden’s need for physical contact is… on a whole different level. 

The first time it happened, Lambert almost shoved the Cat off him and sent him packing, until he realised that Aiden was not only hugging him, but clinging onto him. His sharp nails were digging in the soft material of Lambert’s shirt, the fabric creaking in protest under the firm grip. When Lambert looked down, he noticed the pinched eyebrows and tears trailing down Aiden’s face. It wasn’t until a broken sob pushed past the Cat’s lips that Lambert reluctantly returned the embrace, arms wound tightly around Aiden’s trembling body. Aiden eventually settled in the safety of Lambert’s arms, his features softening as he sank back into a peaceful slumber. 

Neither mentioned the previous evening’s impromptu cuddling session, but from that moment one, it was like someone had flicked a switch. Aiden came up with every possible fucking excuse to touch Lambert. Their hands would always accidentally graze each other when they packed up camp, or tacked up the horses. Aiden would bump shoulders with him when they were travelling on foot. If they sat next to one another in a tavern, Aiden would press his leg against Lambert’s, and if they were facing each other, a tentative foot would gently nudge Lambert’s shin and linger there. It’s not like Aiden was trying to hide his intentions, either. They rarely paid for two rooms anymore, because even if they did, Aiden would always end up in Lambert’s bed anyway, arms wound around Lambert’s body like a koala clinging to its mother.

Lambert doesn’t hate Aiden’s need for physical proximity, he’s just… confused by it. Aiden rarely takes any lovers to bed, even though he clearly craves physical intimacy. Lambert is more than happy to cuddle with Aiden, especially when they are forced to sleep under the stars and the early autumn frosts begin to settle over the region. It saves them from lighting a campfire, which may attract the wrong kind of attention to them. That’s all that’s ever transpired between the two, though… cuddling. Lambert enjoys the cuddling as much as Aiden does, but for Aiden it seems to be about more than mere enjoyment. The Cat simply refuses to go without physical intimacy which at times can be… alright, it can feel overbearing, but Lambert’s not about to complain, not when most humans turn away from him in disgust and contempt when he tries to chat them up. 

Over the course of the next few weeks, Aiden almost develops a form of separation anxiety. He refuses to let Lambert out of his sight, going so far as to follow the man everywhere, and that’s the moment when Lambert snaps. 

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he asks, his tone hiding none of the irritation he feels at being tailed by this overgrown tomcat. Aiden stops dead in his tracks, his eyes growing wide at Lambert’s words. 

“Huh?” 

“You’ve been following me since this morning… I have errands to run and it’s hard to do that when you’re breathing down my neck!”

Lambert instantly regrets his words the minute they leave his mouth. Aiden’s shoulders visibly sag at Lambert’s comment, his content expression melting into something sadder and the sight tugs at the wolf’s heartstrings in all the wrong ways. Aiden averts Lambert’s eyes shyly, the tip of his ears turning a pretty shade of pink as embarrassment washes over him. Lambert heaves a sigh. Way to act like a fucking dick. 

“Sorry, Aiden. I… I didn’t mean to sound like an ass, but-”

“It’s alright, I… I knew this moment would come eventually.”

“What are you talking about?” Lambert asks, a confused frown etched on his face. Aiden doesn’t look at him when he replies in a voice far too small to belong to the lethal, cocky witcher Lambert has come to know over the past few months. 

“You’re gonna ask me to leave for good. I get it. I… I’ll go back to the room and pack my things.” 

As Aiden turns around to leave, Lambert’s hand shoots out and grabs a hold of Aiden’s wrist. Before Lambert’s brain has a chance to catch up, he finds himself pulling Aiden into a nearby alley, away from prying eyes of judgemental humans meandering the stalls of the midweek market. Aiden looks so unsure now, so vulnerable like this, and it makes Lambert want to wrap the Cat up in warm blankets and cuddle him and forget the world for a while. Instead, he settles on pressing Aiden’s back against the wall and draping himself around the Cat witcher as much as he can. 

“That’s not what I meant,” Lambert breathes in the air pocket between them as he locks eyes with Aiden, “you’ve just been… especially clingy recently. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Aiden averts his eyes once again, but Lambert is quick to grip the other man’s chin and force Aiden to meet his gaze. Even that simple touch pulls a small hiss from Aiden, whose eyes flutter shut as he relishes in the feeling of Lambert touching him anywhere. Lambert purses his lips, eager for an answer. 

“Aiden-”

“Winter is around the corner,” Aiden whispers, his tongue darting out to lick his suddenly dry lips. Lambert’s frown deepens. 

“And?”

His question is met with a pointed eye roll from Aiden. 

“And… wolves return to their dens for winter, don’t they? I was just… enjoying the last few weeks in your company before you leave and never come back.”

As the final piece of the puzzle slots into place, understanding dawns on Lambert. He pulls away from Aiden and the small whimper the loss of contact triggers does not go unnoticed. Something old and fragile aches in Lambert’s chest as the meaning of Aiden’s words sink in. Aiden isn’t just worried about being separated from Lambert for a few months, but he’s worried that Lambert will never come back.The wolf links his fingers with his Cat’s, squeezing softly as he leans into Aiden’s space and rubs his bearded cheek against Aiden’s jawline. The latter quickly melts under the soft ministrations, the soft content rumble deepening into a continuous purr as Lambert nuzzles the crook of Aiden’s neck. 

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” 

“Yeah, right,” Aiden snorts in response, “cause you’re so good with feelings and shit.”

“Not everyone’s a sappy sentimental bitch like you are,” Lambert teases gently, earning himself a half-hearted slap up the back of the head. “I don’t have to go back to Kaer Morhen this winter.”

Aiden tenses, his soft purring stopping abruptly as he takes in Lambert’s words. Lambert continues to rub his cheek against Aiden’s jaw, his neck, his cheek… wherever he can reach, the action meant to soothe the brewing storm in Aiden’s mind.

“It’s your home,” Aiden offers weakly, “I don’t want… I… it’s your home.” 

“I can send a letter to the old man. Let him know I’m alive. We could find a den somewhere else… an attic somewhere, or an abandoned castle.” Lambert nuzzles the spot right behind Aiden’s ear, earning a pleased hum from the Cat. “Or you could come with me.”

“Sure. Cause that’s gonna end well…” 

“That’s settled then. I’m spending winter with you.”

Aiden pushes Lambert away, their eyes meeting once again but this time, Aiden searches for any trace of a lie in Lambert’s amber gaze. He finds none, because Lambert is one hundred percent honest in his offer. He would ditch Vesemir, Geralt and Eskel for a year to spend it with Aiden… and the thought should scare him more than it does, truthfully. He’s only known the Cat for a few months, and yet… well, maybe Lambert was dreading the winter as well. How about that? It’s not like he felt equally anxious about leaving Aiden, it’s just… fuck off. 

“You mean that?” 

“Mhm. Fair warning… I hate the cold. If I’m spending the winter with you, you’ll have to find a way to keep me warm or I will bite your head off.” 

In Aiden’s defence, he does keep Lambert warm all winter long. Their cuddling finally turns into something more, and from the moment Lambert and Aiden cross that fateful line there is no going back. Aiden becomes insatiable, always seeking Lambert’s body in some shape or form, never letting the wolf out of his sight again.  Lambert may have been apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together, but it turns out that all his worries were for nothing. Turns out Cat witchers are still crazy, and feral, and mercurial… a tad possessive as well, something Lambert doesn’t hate... but they’re also the cuddliest sons of bitches on the Continent. 

Lambert can live with that, he thinks. 

Request a prompt.

[imjusttpeachy]

sleepy angel. (c.h.)

Can I please request some cute corpse husband fluff. I really want something adorable and cute with him. Like playing with the readers hair and cuddles and that. -anon

okay yall i hope this isn’t too weird but i saw a tiktok abt it and thought it was the cutest thing ever and just— i needed to write about it. pretty short but i’m just getting back into writing sorryyyy

please check out the warnings!!

playlist

the licks - lavender kiss

wet bandits - movies as friends

puma blue - want me

dre’es - warm

daniel ceasar - get you

summary: reader is feeling a little cuddly but doesn’t want to disturb Corpse during his stream. who knew the floor could be so comfortable?

word count: 944

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, dom/sub undertones???, basically you sit on the floor and he plays with your hair pls don’t read if uncomfy with stuff like that

•••

You didn’t consider yourself a clingy girlfriend.

No, not at all.

It wasn’t clingy to want to be around your favourite person at all times, just to be sure that they’re safe and happy and not too stressed, right? Just to be sure.

Well, that’s what you told yourself anyway as you crawled out of bed and shuffled toward your boyfriend’s office where he was currently streaming. He probably still had a few hours left, but your skin was itching to feel his touch. You had already spent the past couple hours smothering yourself in his hoodie and comforter, reveling in his addicting smell. Though, even with the soft plush completely surrounding you, you couldn’t shake the feeling of just needing to be near him.

You shouldn’t distract him— that was the last thing he needed when he was already so anxious during streams, but it couldn’t hurt to just sit with him, right? It may even be relaxing to have you there, just keeping him company.

Pushing open the door to his office slowly, you peeked in through the crack, eyes immediately spotting that messy mop of black hair only illuminated by the monitor’s light in front of it. You found it odd at first, that he liked playing in the dark, but realized how much smaller it made the room feel therefore being more comforting to him. Finally gathering all your nerve, you pushed the door open and slipped inside the dark room quickly shutting it behind you. You felt kinda creepy, hiding in the shadows and against the walls of the room but you didn’t want to scare him at a bad point in the game and embarrass him in front of his audience. Watching his monitor from over his shoulder, you thought of a plan as you waited for the round to end. You didn’t want to distract him, so sitting in his lap was a big no; glancing downward though, a grin began to pull at you lips as you finally figured it out.

The game went on for maybe another minute or so before the ending screen played and all the characters began transporting back into the lobby— it was go-time. Silently slinking down to your hands and knees, you slowly crawled over to the side of the chair before hooking your chin over his thigh and gazing up at him. You felt his body jerk slightly at the pressure on his thigh, his gaze shooting down from the monitor and locking onto yours as you grinned at him from the floor. He gaped at you for a second before his hand shot out to mute his mic.

“Baby, what-“

“Just wanna be with you,” You could hear the confusion in his tone before you cut him off with your quiet mumble, sighing softly and closing your eyes as you settled in your place, hands folding to rest in your lap as to not accidentally reach out and wrap around his leg as well. Though, as the room settled into silence your brow furrowed as you lifted your chin off of his thigh to look up at him, mind beginning to race with the thought of making him uncomfortable. “Is... Is that okay? I’m sorry I should’ve-“

“No, no it’s okay bunny, I was just surprised.” It was his turn to cut off your nervous rambling just as you began to spiral, his hand coming down to rest against your jaw tilting your gaze back up until it locked with his again. His eyes drifted over your face as you looked up at him with probably the most lovesick expression painted all over your face, nuzzling into the warmth of his hand. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as you settled your chin back over his thigh, sighing in content. Your eyes were fluttering closed when he spoke up again. “Are you sure you’re okay down there?”

A soft hum was your only response as you shuffled closer to him, finally giving in and wrapping your arms around his calf; he tensed for a moment and you were just about to unravel yourself from him again when he relaxed before a large hand found it’s place atop your head. You could practically feel yourself melt into him as he began to card his fingers through your hair, another soft hum escaping your lips in content as his nails scratched along your scalp. Chuckling softly, he leaned back toward him set up and reached for his mic, the hand in your hair still carding slowly through your locks causing you to shiver every so often when his rings ran along your skin.

“Hey, sorry, (Y/N) just needed to ask me something.” You giggled softly as he lied right through his teeth to his stream-mates. It was harmless though, just a little funny; you couldn’t hear them anyway. Even if you could though, all you could focus on was the hand running continuously over your head despite the game starting up again.

“Nah just what I want to eat, we can literally never decide what to have…” His words trailed off of your focus as your body relaxed even further into his. The soothing motion of his hand beginning to lull you to sleep no matter how much you tried to fight it off. His thumb began to run along the cheek that wasn’t smushed against his thigh as you floated in and out of consciousness, his touch so gentle you’d begin to think you’re made of glass. You could barely make out his mumbled words as his soft touches finally plunged you in the depths of sleep.

“Sweet dreams, princess”

•••

When your eyes fluttered open again they were immediately met with pitch black, which would’ve startled you if not for the solid form resting halfway on top of your body; your mouth pulling into a wide grin as you felt the slow breaths of your person warm the crook of your neck. Reaching toward your nightstand, you pat around blindly until your hand lands on your phone— as much as you didn’t want to move, you didn’t know how much time has passed since you had joined Corpse in his office. Squinting as the light from your phone flooded the room, you quickly turned down the brightness before looking at the time, confirming that you definitely didn’t have anywhere to be for at least the next few hours.

However, as you continued to stare down at your phone you began to scroll through the seemingly never-ending mentions, you only became more and more confused. Finally biting the bullet and tapping on one it immediately opened your screen to Corpse’s Instagram— but more importantly, a picture of you.

There you were, completely relaxed face smushed against his thigh as you slept soundly, but that wasn’t all. That signature hand had taken it’s place carding through your hair just as he did to lull you to sleep. Your heart was already fluttering as you stared at the photo on your screen but you think it might’ve stopped as your eyes caught the caption.

corpsehusband: “sleepy angel”

•••

@.valkyrae: was this during the stream? omg corpse you liar

@.sykkuwu: u guys are so cute

@.jacksepticeye: SIMP

@.bretmanrock: jealous 🙄 corpse baby i thought we had something

@.tinakitten: okay loverboy

•••

hey guys long time no see! i was gonna make a post abt why i was gone for so long but i think that’d be overkill. i’m okay now and i’m very excited to keep writing for you!

i think i’m gonna branch out to other fandoms as well but idk yet. i’m working through the requests in my inbox rn so i’m gonna do those first. gonna open up drabble requests too!

okay that’s it! thanks for reading as always, let me know what u think down below or in my asks! love you guys, hope you’re doin well <3

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx