#it was kinda boring sometimes but at least they had the option to just. do nothing some days

[torchickentacos]

So my sister and I were talking and this happened (a masterpiece made in 30 seconds) (long tags)

[peachylipglosss]

my guide to wonyoungism, improve your life, glow up, be THAT girl:

🎀 have a routine: this is something I learned from being on therapy for so long. It is really important to have a routine because if not you can have bad sleeping, be tired all day, get bored easier, you won't be able to finish your responsabilities, it can bring you bad self esteem and in general is a complete mess.

🎀 work out: always do what's best for you and do what you feel comfortable doing but please! work! out! I'm such a lazy person and at some point it was really hard for me to have motivation to do anything, but once I put my mind into it, and force myself a bit and started with 10 mins of pilates everyday (since it was something easy to start with) my life and my self esteem improved a lot. Working out is another way to have schedules and a routine, also improves your self esteem by making you feel capable of doing stuff, and ofc is good for your body.

🎀 have a good skincare routine: first, do some research about your skin type and see what products can work better for you (you can also go to have a skincare treatment and ask the beautician or search on internet) but always do what's more comfortable and affordable for you, don't use stuff that influencers recommend bc you can alter you skin type based on the products you use too (as a beutician I know) Also don't DON'T do it everyday, some products can be used everyday like the cleanser but others not. As I said just do a good research. Besides skin stuff it's really interesting!!

🎀 improve your diet: with diet I don't mean to specifically have a diet, actually I'm a bit against them, since being strict about what we eat can cause stress and guiltiness, it's really important to have a balance, eating healthy at the end of the day means nothing if you don't enjoy it. And you can enjoy it by having fun creating new healthy recipes, doing a journal about your fav healthy recipes, buying new cookware (pink plates, pots, pans, etc) or eating a hamburguer, a chocolate cookie sometime

🎀 journal: this is something I do since 2014 lol it's without doubt one of the best things the human has created. It has helped me to improve my writing skills, to get to know me better, to vent about stuff idk how or whom to talk about, also make it fun! In my journal I vent and write about my feelings,fears, dreams, goals, etc but also write down my travels, concerts or fav kpop artists, decorate with stickers, a piece of confetti, even dried flowers!

🎀 hobbies: this is something I also learned recently on therapy, I mean we all had hobbies from time to time but do we know about the importance of having them? I spent this whole year doing nothing since I can't work or study, and without hobbies I can tell you life is too boring, and it can lead you to bad self esteem too I mean, I kinda got crazier for spending so much time alone with literally nothing to do. So find new and fun stuff to do just for the pleasure of doing it, you don't have to be the best at it. I bet you can find hobbies ideas on YouTube as well.

🎀 be more femenine: this is ofc an optional step but I think it can be important, since always either wonyoung or it girls usually look very femenine. Don't forget to make it a fun thing to do! Finding your aesthetic, maybe trying a new one, enjoy going shopping..you can be femenine with your clothing, with your skin care routine, with your jewlery...this is just about feeling beautiful and also powerful.

🎀 improve your behaviour towards other people: with this I mean basically being more open. To meet new people, to make new plans...also fixing your body gesture (at least mine is shit and It always end up hurting my back and shoulders)

🎀 affirmations: good affirmations are a thing, this I learned in therapy too. The way you talk to yourself is important and changing the mindset too. If you tell yourself "I won't be able" then for sure you won't. This is not an easy thing tho I know, but is a necessary thing. Forcing yourself to change your mind every time a negative thought pass by is a hardwork but is well payd, cause the price is your happiness. For this is VERY important to have some help and work things up in therapy. But to give you a little tip, surround yourself with good energy, put some pictures of good affirmations in your room, as background of your phone, even on a shirt!

🎀 enjoy and trust the process: as I kept saying in each step, making it something fun to do it would help you to don't feel it like an obligation cause it's not. It's ofc a responsability to improve your life so you don't fall in depressed behaviours for example, but by making it something fun, then you won't feel guilty if someday you don't feel like functioning and need a lazy day in bed. And by trusting the process, we keep motivated to keep going.

🌼hope this works for you, please let me know if so, have a great day and a great life! 🌼

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

TF2 Headcanons pt.3 I can't stop. The chokehold is now a death grip.

I guess I'm a TF2 blog now 😮‍💨 (not really complaining, also if you get tired of me posting nothing but hcs let me know what you want to see instead.)

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Ice cream preferences? Ice cream preferences.

Demo probably ordered rum rasin once, thinking it actually had rum in it but actually ended up liking it. I think he also likes pralines and cream or pistachio. He likes wafflecones to an unhealthy extent.

Engie likes anything with peanut butter. He also likes chocolate chip cookie dough. He will eat an entire tub of ice cream, but he deserves it, so it's fine.

Heavy likes all of the traditional flavors, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and stuff like that. But he hates neapolitan. He's in the same boat as Engie. They just eat the entire tub together.

Medic loves Cherry Garcia, like unhealthy love. He also really likes anything with strawberry sause (looks like blood, he's a little freak he'd eat ice cream out of a human skull if you let him).

Scout likes cookies and cream. He also really likes dirtcups (hot fudge, chocolate ice cream, crushed oreo, and gummy worms, in case you didn't know). I genuinely think this man can't eat "boring" foods. Like he has to have crunch in his food. He's not allowed to eat in cones anymore. Don't ask him about it. (Also, hc him as lactose intolerant, he just doesn't care.)

When it comes to Sniper, never let him live down the fact that in Australia, they have "Golden Gaytimes." As a viable ice cream option. He doesn't mind them. He gave Scout an aneurysm when he asked if he wanted one. But he's more of a plain chocolate guy. He eats it in out of the tub or in a dish, depending on how he feels.

Spy he likes coffee ice cream and makes it his entire personality. He's so mature for liking it, right guys?? He's just sooooo refined. No scout, you didn't see him ordering a double fudge brownie with sprinkles. They just messed up his order. No, he can't return it now! that'd be rude. (It's in a sugar cone, btw)

Soilder. GIVE THIS MAN HIS RED WHITE AND BLUE BOMBPOPS GOD DAMMIT! I think he also likes Butterscotch and Rocky Road. He likes cake cones.

Pyro loves bubblegum, Superman, and Blue Moon. They eat it in those cones with chocolate and sprinkles on them! They also like the SpongeBob popsicles.

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Pyro time!

They eat cinnamon candy all the time. It's so bad. They have at minimum 9 boxes of redhots on stand-by.

I think Pyro is agender. I think their just okay existing in their own world and have no care about gender.

Give them those fire snakes that change the fires' color and their ecstatic! Their favorite is blue.

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I think these dumbasses have the most random fears ever. None of them are scared of frogs or bugs, but God forbid you mention wooden spoons, and one of them vomits.

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I've seen people say the mercs have board game nights, and I love that idea, so....

Uno is banned. Strictly. It's not even funny. They played it once, and the moment the +4 card was played, all hell broke loose.

They all play poker or Cards Against Humanity at least once a week. Sometimes, they'll pick someone's favorite game to play.

Demo likes Yahtzee and Scrabble. He's just kinda chill like that.

Engie and Pyro both like the same games for the most part. They play Jenga a lot. Also, checkers!

Heavy really likes chess and connect 4.

Do not play board games with Medic. This man has anger issues. But if you really want to, candyland and life are his favorites.

Scout has a hard time playing video games. He can't pay attention at all. But if you play a card game like Red Flags or We're Not Really Strangers, he'll be able to focus on it.

Sniper, Spy, and Soilder all like traditional card games. Black Jack, Cribbage, Eucher, etc.

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Sorry this one is short. Very tired and stressed out right now.

I'm so glad you guys have been liking my posts! I'm smiling like an idiot anytime I open tumblr.

[maxwell-grant]

If you had your say, what villains would you want featured in future venom movies?

With the stuff they have the rights for and aren't saving for future/solo movies, within Venom characters, who is there to pick from? They did the Future Foundation for the first movie, they got to Carnage in the sequel, they've set up Pat Mulligan/Toxin and we're probably gonna either get that or Knull in the next one. They can't scale down to one of Spidey's billion crimelords or someone like Sin-Eater who at least kinda has something to do with Venom, they've set up world-threatening symbiotes as the baseline. Toxin is just nothing, there's nothing there, the most you can get out of him is by having him be We Have Spider-Man At Home, and they already set him Mulligan as Venom's Javert. Combine those two, pit Eddie against a jerk Spider-Man who goes Carnage sometimes, I guess it's something? Knull is a Thor villain who took the wrong turn at Albuquerque, I can't imagine how they'd do him for these movies without just pulling the trigger on a Venomverse outright, and there's been a lot of talk about how the next movie's gonna set up that, or a multiverse, or the Sonyverse, and I'm boring myself to sleep just talking about this.

They both suck and are big idiot nothings, and none of the prior guys were really good to begin with. Knull is a little more tolerable in my book because Al Ewing and the new game made decent enough soup out of it and Tradd Moore's art sold me on him a little bit, and Woody Harrelson playing Biff Tannen was by default the most entertaining Cletus Kasady has ever been aside from AXIS, but "occasionally amusing" doesn't equal good or even mediocre, and that's the issue with these movies in a nutshell. An occasionally funny schlub protagonist and offscreen promises can't make up for all the crap everything else, and Let There Be Carnage wore my goodwill towards even that real thin. I really did try to like it.

Don't get me wrong, I like that those movies exist. I'm still probably gonna drag my friend into the next one. I hate most Venom comics but I'm incorrigible Venom trash. If we have to put up with those films and a Madame Web every now and then as the price to pay for Sony keeping the rights and keeping Spiderverse and the games just as they are, then by all means keep them coming. But man, I did try, I seriously combed through Venom and the other symbiote's rogues galleries and supporting casts to try and find an answer for this, and all the characters I found were A: dogshit Venom / Spider-anciliary characters that don't have much of anything worth it to them, and B: halfway there Spider-Man leftovers who are better served just not having anything to do with Venom movies, so I guess the option I'd go here is for them to just make new ones. I mean, movie Carlton Drake was basically an original character and he was, okay I don't even remember a thing about that guy but he was probably better than Cletus because it's really not that hard to come up with a better villain than Cletus Kasady (who at his best just elicits a chuckle) and dirtbag CEO with the cops on his side is the kind of thing you want a character like Venom to be fighting so, I guess lean more on that.

I guess I'd put Venom against symbiote tech cops that he can kill and eat without complication and have those follow him around while the actual plot is about some dumb errand or personal conflict he runs, but I don't think the villains are really the missing piece here. Venom is a terrific Spider-Man villain, but as a protagonist he is frequently deeply lacking, and as a movie franchise has like two things going for it, the titular character and the humor of a couple low-stakes absurd comedy scenes like the lobster tank, so I'd take those and throw the source material in the trash and have them go through something like the fake sequels of 22 Jump Street, just put the character in dumb problems that they can try and solve in dumb ways and do their dumb comedy routine in, Venom as a vehicle for dark parody as an extension of what he was made to represent. Treat the movies less like they are steps in a cinematic universe or character pieces and more like genre films that get infected and corrupted by a monstrous violent walking alien apocalypse and the schlubby journalist meathead in a co-dependent relationship with said walking apocalypse.

Venom In Space. Venom Goes to Hollywood. Venom In The Hood. Venom Surfs The Web. Everyvenom Venomwhere All At Venom. Not even joking, if I could make a Venom musical / Little Shop of Venoms I'd do it in a heartbeat, and it would end with similar destruction. Because make no mistake, this is a Laurel and Hardy thing only to them, and to everyone else it's an escalating horror film with some kind of destruction left at the end, because that's what happens when Venom runs rampant and Spider-Man isn't there to stop them or at least keep them in line.

Venom is not just a parody, he is a rot at the heart that never stops growing, and even if Eddie Brock can strive to be a better man and even be a decent one, even if he and the Symbiote can bond as losers trying to be better, neither can escape the nature of what Venom fundamentally is, with a million new Carnages and Riots and Agonies and Screams and Viruses and symbiote cops and serial killers popping up every minute as a reminder. You can't really come up with a Venom-specific villain that's going to be greater than Venom himself already is as a Spider-Man villain, so I'd just lean into that. And then maybe, when and if it's time to finally deliver on that Spider-Man or Sinister Six encounter, they find themselves arriving too late after we've had enough movies to laugh at this idiot schlub and his predatory living cancer buddy while the world they've been protecting has been turning more into this. We put this world not in the hands of Spider-Man, because we have the full rights hope in overcoming hardship to be our better self, but in the claws of Venom, because we are fucking stupid.

[seth-burroughs]

What drinks do you think the Amaterasu peeps would have

While the game only mentions coffee I cannot accept them all drinking coffee that's boring

I hardly know what even constitutes as a drink in the common understanding of the term as I'm a polish man living under a rock, and thus I have done extensive research on the classification of liquids and it basically turns out anything that's liquid is a drink unless it isn't -- which, okay, fuck you. I have forgotten what the original ask might've entailed and thus the answer evolved into "assigning every character affiliated with amaterasu corp what drinks they'll like" which *scrolls up* close enough whatever, forcing you to listen anyway. List of characters I count for the amaterasu folks: makoto, huesca, akira, swank, seth, martina, yomi, dominic, guillaume, fake zilch (amaterasu's officially licensed hitman & one of """yomi's closest advisors""" whatever the fuck that means because you and I both know that yomi wouldn't accept advice from anybody unless that's just a fancy word for a very platonic companion whom he has a very strong, passionate, very platonic mind you brotherly bond a bromance a comradeship if you will,)

Swank is goldwasser personified. He loves that shit. Also always has a bimber (or vodka/starka. but preferably bimber) bottle on hand too, no one knows where he stores it he just kinda reaches into his coat and gets it

Me 🤝 Seth (tea drinkers). Has to have tea at least two times a day, doesn't matter what kind they'll drink anything as long as it has leaves in it. Favourites include black tea (optional honey and lemon), mint, chamimole, melissa and sage. He's also partial to pickle juice (makes his own pickles in the basement, they're not wasting any of that pickle water he's chugging that shit just to feel something) and pouring cucumber soup (filtered) to a cup and just drinking it. I don't know what's with Seth and cucumbers. Also would like kefir, probably.

Guillaume likes anything that's sweet or fizzy or whatever, has to have a stash of oranżada and coca-cola somewhere in his house at all times. Sometimes she just opens the cola and lets it degas in the fridge call that a. I don't know. Often makes hot chocolate. Once it offered to give Seth some but was extremely disturbed when he ate the milk skins too and that was the last time she did it for him. Not a drink, but she also eats tangerines and grapefruit via biting it with her shark teeth and sucking out the juices then tossing up the dried fruit remains into the trash can

Dominic makes kompot, you know, the polish juice that's warm and significantly worse and watery as fuck and all your older family members love it for some reason even though. But we all got our preferences whatever. Get this man some wine too.

Speaking of wine, Yomi is Kanai Ward's resident wine man if it has wine in it's name he's gonna drink it, especially mulled wine. Also likes champagne and nalewka. Plus has a fondness for fanta (or any carbonated drink with fruit flavors) but he took it into his head that it's cringe now or not respectable anymore or for 12 year olds only. No one cares except for him, it's a fucking drink. But he also thinks soy feminizes men and Makoto is putting chemicals in the rain so that's not the worst one of his beliefs by a long shot

Martina nominated for #1 coffee drinker, also really likes inka which is just polish coffee but without caffeine. probably a cappuchino enjoyer i don't know never had coffee it smells like shit

Dr. Huesca has sworn off alcohol, to be honest he has sworn off everything that isn't essential to survival because he's always on that fucking grind (unethical research), and probably hates himself or something. He likes water that's preferably fresh. Doesn't have to be though it's not like it can expire right.

Akira... probably likes soured milk. also, he eat kogel mogel like it's a drink you're supposed to eat it with a spoon not sip it like like a fine cup of cocoa

Fake Zilch survives off of 7 cans of monster a day. As a rule of thumb, the more genuinely terrible a drink is, the more he likes it

Makoto probably also has an egregious taste (his profile says he likes raw ham and dislikes olives, which in my eyes makes every opinion that man has automatically invalid) but I don't think humanity has yet discovered the kinda drinks he'd like yet so- oh wait, theres the leftover salad sauce/juice. and kefir. and mountain dew.

[iwoszareba]

so that diamond ‘thoughts abt your character’ thing. I enjoy writing the clown man so every KC I feel I have decent enough grasp on gets a hot take. 

we are going with Knave as a companion bc that's the easiest option

I'm so sorry if you did not want to hear from him, some of his opinions are real garbage @dujour13 @commander-lariel @turbulentpumpkin43 @silversiren1101 @lairiend @angrygoatwoman @dmagedgoods @offsidekineticist @vulpineix @desnas @cassynite @spyridonya @undyingembers

Siavash

He is disgustingly sweet. And you think to yourself 'I can be a responsible adult and cut my sugar intake' but then you see that cookie box on the table and what are you supposed to do? Not take one? Or two? Or a dozen? I hate him. He is fun.

Lariel

She just radiates fear seemingly unprompted? Someone should get that fixed. For the sake of the crusade or something. Don't look at me, I don't know how nor am I inclined to. If the decision was up to me I would release the storm inside her to see what happens.

Zrise

He is so sour! And angry! Trying to get respect by being the meanest dog in the neighbourhood. But his bite matches his bark so it's all fine. And hey, I'm an honest fellow of honest pleasures so he can bite me any time he wants.

Ariadne

She is a hoot! Not many things in this world more exciting than a good explosion. And she provides those in spades. Surprisingly she also seems to like me? The other shoe will drop eventually I'm sure but for now I can just enjoy what we have.

Mino

I know she has chaos at her core, you can see it leak sometimes and it's glorious. But instead of indulging in it, it's like she's made an oath to try to be boring at all costs. Do you think it's Regill's influence? Can boring rub off on another person? What a terrifying thought.

Agria

This lady is on fire! Metaphorically I mean, I think she may end up burning herself, also metaphorically. But I have to admit I do enjoy watching the flames go higher (metaphorically and literally) so I'm here for it. Look at her go!

Oleander

Don't tell him this, I don't want him to start thinking I'm a possible convert but if I reeeeeeeally had to choose a god to worship it would be Lamashtu. I like to think we monster types have an understanding. Even when he is being all nice like a freak.

Salvadore

I feel like I'm supposed to hate him and I kinda do. Angel man with a stick up his ass. But then he does something unexpected and it's like: woah! Where did that come from? I'm begging you to show me more. I'm at the edge of my seat.

Theoven

Such a funny little guy! Like a cart on the path to a disaster no matter which track he picks. Honestly that's plenty enjoyable. And he has so much emotion in him, he should let loose more often! I can hardly believe he is related to Regill of all people.

Luthais

What a wet blanket of a person. Could you give us a single emotion? No? Okaaaaay I can drag something out of you but I don't think you will like it! Seriously, he is a piece of work. I get that he is doomed by the narrative but he could at least try to be funny about it.

Taro

Have you ever met someone who looks at a wild beast and thinks they can turn it into a friendly critter? I think that's how they look at me and it's extremely funny. But I can play along for a little while, why not. Watch me be the freakiest little azata.

Sparrow

She is like a box locked in a box locked in a box locked… You get the idea. I don't know what's at her core and at this point I'm not sure it's worth the effort. I'm still gonna try to get her riled up whenever possible. What else is there to do?

Kadira

It's comforting to see someone who got fucked up by Areelu just as bad. I think she should get angrier about it but hey. Good for her for having a semblance of emotional stability. Or maybe it's just an act? It would be fun to see her spiral. I mean that affectionately.

Lenarius/Leonosa

Not only is he all prim and proper but he also does not get annoyed easily. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with her! I guess I have to try harder? Really backing me into a corner here. Sigh. Maybe I should just kick back and take it easy.

[coldflasher]

Okay I'm sure we all have spent way too much time thinking about speedster biology in various contexts for fic reasons, but you know what I cannot stop thinking about? How does speedster biology affect the menstrual cycle???

It must do, right? It has so many effects on the body---rapid metabolism, speed healing, potentially immortality (let's not open that can of worms again lmao), increased cell reproduction rate, etc. There's no way that it doesn't have some effect on their periods.

We know that speedsters (at least those with penises/testes etc.) can reproduce, so clearly it doesn't cause sufficient havoc to make them infertile---though there is some evidence to suggest that it could make it harder to conceive, since it takes Barry and Iris quite a while to get pregnant with Nora (interesting, since I always kinda figured speedster biology would increase the sperm count, but that's probs more to do with fandom brain rot making me convinced speedsters have a higher libido; not sure there was ever any canon evidence of that).

Realistically they probably did this for TV reasons, because by the rules of fiction, TV characters get pregnant easily when they do not want to, but if they're trying, then it will be incredibly difficult and take months to the point that they're like "ugh, we have to have sex AGAIN i guess even though we'd rather be doing literally anything else" (I'm looking at you Flash AND B99, I hate this trope, if sex is becoming a chore maybe you should uh. not do it for a while?)

Also, Jay Garrick and Joan, the only other speedster/normal person couple we know, don't have kids that we know of. Again, maybe they just didn't want them, maybe they met after Joan was menopausal, not sure we ever got confirmation either way, but that could be a point towards the speedforce affecting the reproductive system.

Anyways, either way the show doesn't address how speedster biology affects periods. They probably never thought about it, honestly; everyone knows characters on TV don't have periods, they figure out they're pregnant due to sudden random morning sickness, not a tampon or period tracking app in sight. But EYE am thinking about it.

If every process in the body speeds up, do they have more frequent periods that are just over really quickly? (Not sure if this would be better or worse than the usual kind? Probably worse, defo more annoying.) And if so, what is the hormonal cycle like? Are some speedsters going through mini PMS cycles on a weekly basis? (My thoughts and prayers are with them if so.) Are their periods super irregular? Do their periods maybe stop entirely at some points, due to the strain of constantly running around and the struggle of eating enough to maintain the body weight required to stay regular? This is something that happens with regular old athletes, so it could definitely happen to a speedster that burns a huge amount of calories and is EXTREMELY physically active.

Also, does the healing factor affect the duration of the period? That's one point in favour of a faster cycle, maybe a lighter flow, reduced cramps?? Imagine how much those period hunger cravings would suck when you already have to eat like 15000 calories a day! Like if I, as a person with a standard metabolism, feel the urge to devour everything in sight at that time of the month, how much worse would it be as a speedster for whom "constantly starving" is the default?

Of course, the most boring option is that they're just normal periods, and that's probably what the writers would say, if pushed. that's the coward's answer, tbh, but hey, maybe their periods are normal.  We never see any of the female speedsters on the show attempt to get pregnant, so again, we can't say if they would have difficulties, maybe they'd ovulate totally normally. Maybe Barry and Iris had issues just because sometimes people do just struggle to get pregnant for whatever reason. either way, it's SO interesting to think about.

Anyway this ramble was brought to you by me working on a fic where Iris becomes the Flash instead of Barry and making a throwaway reference to her having PMS and then being like WAIT. WHAT HAPPENS TO HER PERIOD. INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW.

[thekoopalingsandstuffs]

What’s the story with Peasley’s dad? Does Ludwig know him? Do he and Peasley get along?

Okay, this'll be a long post, I think... To start us off, Ludwig and Haru have never met, but they will someday. Haru is aware of Ludwig's existence and is very supportive/excited to meet him. Peasley has told Ludwig about Haru, so he is... A bit nervous about a few things, but also excited to meet him.

Peasley's relationship with his parents is a bit complicated... In the divorce, he chose to stay with his mom, but that doesn't mean he dislikes his father!! The two parents are kinda opposites... Persephone is super... EVERYTHING. She loves her son and is VERY protective. Would fight off monsters with her bare hands for him. Not a day goes by without her telling him how much she loves him and giving him loads of affection. But she is also the parent more involved when it comes to trouble and consequences. Peasley doesn't get in trouble much, but even as a kid, he knew if he fucked up, to go tell his dad and not his mom. (PERSEPHONE IS NOT ABUSIVE- The worst she ever did was take away toys or give a 45 minute time-out)

Haru is definitely very chill and pretty careless. Not neglectful by any means! Just... Less. Even before the divorce, he didn't really go out of his way to give affection. And he gave almost no shits whenever Peasley did something wrong, regardless of what it was. Oh yeah, he also offered Peasley some Marijuana when he was eight years old. (Peasley didn't like it and never even touched weed after that) ... Yeah, probably shouldn't have mentioned that-

Okay, so, the story... Haru was not born royalty, but was still in a pretty wealthy family. Despite this, he still wanted to enter a royal family. (After a LONG line of other women, including Princess Peach at one point) Haru married the queen of the Beanbean Kingdom, Persephone. Persephone had not much interest in being the queen... Once she split from Haru, she was able to follow her own passion while he still ruled over the kingdom for her. They never "officially divorced"... Haru is still king, and she is still technically queen (You see, if Persephone abandoned the throne, then the next rightful king would be POPPLE, so... Yeah, Haru is the better option here) Persephone can return and reclaim power at any time/Kick Haru out of his position, but she feels comfortable letting him do it.

Haru is, at least, a competent king. The kingdom is small and doesn't need much maintenance, so it's an easy job. He is also pretty famous, even without being the king! So the citizens love him and are perfectly okay with a human who is not part of the official bloodline to be in power.

Before being the king, Haru was a musician and mildly famous celebrity. Today, in the castle, you can find him plucking his old electric guitar while listening to golden vinyl records when bored. (Fun fact: Peasley's middle name is Evanescence. You have his dad to thank for that.)

Currently, Haru runs a podcast, talking to other celebrities around the world. (He can speak a multitude of languages, most notable being English, French, and Japanese) so there is no shortage of potential guests that can be on the show. Anyone from upcoming TikTok stars to controversial, retired ex-celebs are welcome. Haru is also very willing to go on other podcasts and do gigs for people who really need the endorsement/validation. He's an all-around chill and agreeable guy who will do just about anything, just because he can. Being the king has obviously made him more famous than before, but he doesn't take advantage of his spotlight or powers.

What else... Oh yeah- Haru does a lotta weed. What famous celebrity doesn't?? That sorta explains his constant chillness. He behaves just fine without it, though... Hmmm... Ah! He also does cocaine! But only on weekends, and sometimes on podcasts, with his interviewee. (Only if the interviewee is old enough/already uses cocaine, though!!) "He isn't one of those crazy homeless crack addicts," as Peasley would explain. Which, I mean, is true. Haru doesn't act all insane when high and would never get high before doing professional king business or whatever. It's just, for fun.

I can totally see Haru being the kind of celebrity that Rango would look up to. As for Ludwig... I can imagine him being a bit overwhelmed while meeting Haru for the first time. Especially since he's used to knowing Persephone. Haru isn't very affectionate or loving, but he's very friendly and outgoing to complete strangers. (Persephone somewhat has trust issues... You need to become close with her before she showers you with her love. Haru comes, trusting you with his own life, right out the gate) Both parents can be a bit... Intense with their (positive) interactions with people.

Overall, I'd say Haru isn't the BEST father... Certainly not the worst, either! He probably could do better as of paying more attention to his son, being affectionate, and not getting high all the time... But Peasley still feels plenty loved by him. There's a reason choosing which parent to stay with after the divorce was so hard! When push comes to shove, Haru would do anything for Peasley. Be it kill a person, or just give the kid a hug. And when compared to Bowser, Peach, Madame Broode, Discord, Rex, and Hooktail, it's pretty clear that Peasley got lucky when it comes to parents.

[theuniversein-you]

YOU AS A NCT DREAM MEMBER

✧ ˚ imagine: sneaking out to a barbeque restaurant with the dreamies

✧ ˚ genre: drabble, idol!au, amab!reader, humor, fluff, implied renjun x mc

✧ ˚ warning: none

✧ ˚ disclaimer: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. the characters do not reflect the personality of the actual artists themselves, and should be treated as separate beings.

✧ ˚ author notes: another installation of the dream reader series! hope you like it! i kinda enjoy the randomness around this series ofuaoub 

✧ ˚ word count: 1.4k words

You’ve been roped into a lot of mess with the dreamies and sometimes it isn’t your fault, but now it’s different.

Donghyuck pulled Mark to crash on the your dorm for no reason, but it doesn’t really mean much since the former does a lot. But hanging out in the dorm can get pretty boring, so you suggested something ridiculous that somehow made everyone present look at you, wide-eyed.

“Let’s sneak out and get to that new barbeque grill that just opened.”

Mark protested, of course, as he is concerned about management finding out. But when you look at Donghyuck, his grin is growing on his face.

“C’mon Mark, you know you want to.” he begged the older, who was sputtering excuses about how all of you would get in trouble.

Jaemin looked up his phone, now interested, “If we are going, how are we gonna get Chenle?”

Mark’s eyes widened, “We are not! How are we gonna explain this to the hyungs?”

Shrugging, Jaemin leaned back at the arms of the sofa, “We don’t have to, that’s an option.”

A great idea, you would’ve said if it weren’t for Mark’s panicked self. It did surprise you that Jaemin is on board with your idea, since it’s a risky plan that you’re sure that Chenle would agree if he’s in here. You guessed it has to do with the fact that it’s been a while since everyone hung outside without the eyes of the managers.

“I can message Chenle, then we’ll pick him up,” Jeno offered, taking out his phone to do what he said.

“Wait, are we really doing this?!” Mark stammered, while Donghyuck is still persuading him about not kissing up to the manager’s ass. You do felt bad about the older, as he gets the most scolding when something happened to all of you since he is the unofficial leader. But sometimes you just want to relax without having to think about being idols.

Screw what the higher ups think, you’re gonna live the life of stupid teenagers for once.

Renjun chimed in, “Although we shouldn’t drink too much. We may be adults, but we gotta be responsible about it!”

“Sounds fine by me.” Jeno shrugged, eyes still trained on his phone, “I don’t really plan on drinking tonight anyway. Hangover is a pain in the ass.”

Donghyuck teased, “Yeah, if anything, I’d be worried about (Y/N) the moment he sees a drink.”

“What’s that supposed to mean??” you were offended that your dearest friend Lee Donghyuck implied that you would be drinking tonight. Ever since an unfortunate occurrence where you got so drunk that you had the shittiest hangover the next day, you swore that you would only have at least three shots only. 

Unfortunately for you, Donghyuck never let it go and would always bring it up unprompted.

Renjun shot a pointed look to the youngest, Jisung, “Especially you, Jisung. No soju nor beer for you.”

“Hyung...” Jisung whined, “I’m not like (Y/N)-hyung so please don’t target me.”

“One more word from you Jisung and getting caught by the managers will be the least of your worries.”

The youngest chuckled at your empty threat, ignoring the glare you threw at him. 

“Sweet! Chenle’s getting ready.” Jeno exclaimed, standing up to get ready himself.

While Jaemin asked him to get his jacket for him, Mark sighed. He rubbed his temple, questioning his, or specifically his fellow member’s, life decisions. Things will not end well for them if they get caught, and he really doesn’t want to deal with the managers or get Taeyong in trouble, too.

Your pity with Mark grew, but this is something the dreamies want to do, and it’s a bit cruel to take it away from them. You come to him, placing your hand on his shoulder.

“Look, you don’t have to deal with them alone. I’ll take responsibility if things get wrong, you don’t even have to talk to them.” you reassured the stressed older, “Relax, trust us. We’re gonna make sure we won’t get caught.”

Mark looked up at you, uncertainty still evident on his eyes.

“We can get Donghyuck to charm the hyungs if they found out,” you said, eyeing the said member who is oblivious with your exchange with Mark, “You know how they are whipped with him sometimes.”

It seems that it was enough for Mark to be convinced, as he lets out a loud sigh, his shoulders relaxing from its tensed ones earlier.

“I just don’t want you guys to feel bad when we get caught. It’s risky you know.”

“It is, but it’ll be worth it, Mark. Trust me.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Surprisingly, sneaking out of the dorms proved to be easier than you thought. The real challenge is getting Chenle.

“So... who’s gonna talk to his parents?”

None of you stepped up. All of you fear that they would scold you and tell the company, so you’ve been making up alibis so none of you looks suspicious. At the end, though, since it was your idea, you were the one that will speak to them. You just hoped that Chenle made it easier for you.

But it was a surprise when all of you got to his house and he’s alone outside the gate, looking at his phone and dressed in all black. In someone’s eye, it makes him look more suspicious, but being out in the open when you’re a famous idol is dangerous. He looked up, and he jogged up to you.

“Let’s go, no time to waste!” he chirped, automatically clinging to your arm. He tends to be a little clingy to you more than the other members, but you’re not the one to complain.

“What about your...” Renjun trailed off, confused just like the others.

Chenle shrugged, “It’s alright, they just think I’m sleeping over.”

The dreamies besides Chenle sighed in relief. At least that’s the least of their worries now.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

The night went on when you got to the barbeque shop, and it’s been a wild night. It’s not everyday that you get to hang outside with everyone at once without the company looming behind you. Because of this, everyone is relaxed, but alcohol was out of the question. You made reminders with each other not to get wasted so that no scandals will break out about the ‘little dreamies drinking’.

If only they know that despite being a lightweight, you’re the one that drinks the most out of all of them.

Everyone was laughing on Mark when he’s telling a story about how the hyungs at 127 act in the 10th floor of their dorms. You’re quite concerned with how things happen up there, but it’s honestly tame seeing how the hyungs at Wayv had it going to theirs.

“At least we have (Y/N)-hyung so we don’t have to worry about dirty dorms.” Jisung said, leaning back at his chair.

“Ya, I am not your dorm maid.” you complained, earning a laugh to your fellow members.

“Still surprised that you managed to go through the night without drinking, seeing they serve alcohol in here.”

“You should sleep with your eyes open later, Hyuckie,” you glared at the one who is cackling, “Really, this kid...”

Donghyuck pouted, controlling his giggles, “We’re the same age, though!”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

It was 12:30 am, and all of you decided to go when Jaemin started reminding about how the company would notice they’re out late when all of you have schedules the next day.

You all agreed that Chenle would stay at the dorm, much to his excitement. The company doesn’t mind when he stays since he is still an honorary resident, and he has his own things there, so it doesn’t matter.

“You know, this is probably the hardest plan we’ve ever had.” Jeno remarked. You guys started to tiptoe around the building, hoping no one would notice a bunch of covered up males looking like they’re about to steal.

You shushed him, giving him a look to stay quiet.

“Well, tell that to Hyuck and Mark-hyung, they live in a separate building than us.” Renjun said. The two of them separated since they need to get back before midnight, and well, it’s already past midnight. You hoped for the best that they don’t get caught, especially by the manager.

When all of you successfully got to the dorms, Jaemin stretched, bones cracking at the process.

“Well, I’m exhausted,” he yawned. You nodded with a ‘me too’, before pulling Renjun to your shared room. He threw you a questioning look, but he let’s you pull him inside.

When you closed the door, Renjun asked, “What’s up? I’m not sleepy yet...”

You shook your head, “Didn’t ask, now let’s get to bed.” before pulling him to your bed.

Renjun froze when he hits the cushions, “(Y-Y/N), oh my god, really?!”

You shushed him, trapping him to your arms and legs.

[beneathashadytree]

Hi ! I would like to ask of you can write about Ace or Luffy meeting a person who is blind but have a sharp sense and super hearing ability (although I wouldn't think it's as powerful as haki) so they pretty much being travelling alone for fun. They could pretty much live on their own up until now but not without struggles. How would Luffy or/and Ace would react if they have meet up with the person? ( Can be platonic or romantically. Thank you so much for the opportunity!)

TACT - MONKEY D. LUFFY, PORTGAS D. ACE X READER

Warnings : none, they’re both a little idiotic and clueless sometimes but they redeem themselves, starts out platonic and then romantic ending is optional, reader is blind, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : fluff! I love them sm istg

Word count : 1.3K words

Additional notes : Thank you so much for requesting, and I hope this meets your expectations! I’ve never written for them before, and I’m still very early on in the anime so my characterization is probably kinda off, but I loved writing this nonetheless! They’re so precious to me 💗💗

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

Luffy was a lot of things, but tactful wasn’t one of them

That’s just the way he was, and it probably made him all the more loveable at times—though it didn’t endear him to some

And his first encounter with them was… rather interesting

They’d been traveling on land for quite a long time after they’d made it to the newest island, searching for a decent inn to accommodate the entire crew at the lowest cost (per Nami’s orders)

Luffy had long gotten bored of the bickering back and forth between Zoro and Sanji, driven away by his hunger and desperation for another not-so-quick meal—and quick, before he started whining to himself and alarming everyone that passed him by

Halfway through complaining of how stupid this was, not having any food stalls nearby, a hand tapped on his shoulder

A friendly smile on their face, the person invited him to follow after them, with a promise of the most delicious street food he’ll ever have the pleasure of tasting

The captain blinked twice, picking up the pace to walk beside them, but not before loudly and quite rudely asking, “Hey, why are you looking past me?”

They’d detected no malice in his question, and explained that their eyes were in fact unseeing, to which Luffy only nodded

Then he frowned, “Then how did you know I was there?”

At that they chuckled, “Well, all my other senses have been sharpened, though I’m pretty sure everyone within a five mile radius could hear your whining.”

“That can’t be easy. I can’t do anything in the dark.”

“It isn’t always the easiest, yes, especially when you’re traveling completely on your own, I guess,” they hummed in agreement, guiding him carefully and weaving through the crowds, “But I’d rather not be treated any differently. With consideration of course, but never like glass.”

As they pushed back a curtain that lead them into a shop whose tantalizing smells had Luffy’s mouth gaping and watering within seconds, they laughed as they heard him sharply inhale in anticipation

“You know what, I think I really like you!”

Now, if after several meetings and spending enough time together they’ve decided to further their relationship from platonic to romantic, I see Luffy as probably the best partner out there for them

He’s the least smothering guy ever, and fully believes in letting a person take control of their life without squashing their hopes and dreams or trying to limit them by putting them into standard boxes

He doesn’t baby them or use that overly sympathetic tone that most people tend to patronize them with, and that’s probably what made the relationship come so naturally in the first place; how laidback and casual, yet absolutely wonderful things were with him

Their heightened senses were an excuse to have them join the crew, but eventually the odd feeling of unique affection that swirled in his gut proved to be the real reason behind his decision

And considering just how much of a breath of fresh air he was, they’d found themselves reciprocating his growing feelings, and were unable to reject his offer to walk alongside him on the path to becoming the pirate king

Occasionally, he’d make a mindless remark or ask a rather stupid question about their blindness that sounded a little worse than he’d actually meant, but they knew him too well to take his words to heart, instead calmly replying and correcting his misconceptions

If they have taken offense though, he’d be a little confused but try his best to avoid any slip ups—and he mostly succeeds honestly

After all, what they have is definitely a once in a lifetime thing for him, and he cherishes his relationships more than one would ever know; it’s part of who he is

The difference between the two is still jarring to everyone who meets the brothers, and it shows even more after they hear about a certain someone’s first meeting with Ace

He’d probably been out to eat too, scouting the area with a keen eye for a new diner to check out—and, if we’re being brutally frank here, he probably intended to dine and dash once again

And once he’d hit the jackpot with a place that looked like it was had just restocked on fresh produce and grains (good, so they won’t be using the “we ran out” excuse on him!), he found himself indulging in heavenly good food that filled every single craving of his

Hearing a chortle to his left, he found them leaning on the countertop, a lazy smile on their face

“Sorry, ‘s there something on my face? Tends to get messy.”

“No, you just sounded real pleased while you were enjoying that.”

“Er,” he paused for a moment, not quite knowing what to make of their comment, before a look of understanding came on his face

Their eyes were vacant, and he chose to forgo his initial reply and instead approach them with tact

“Haven’t had a proper meal in days.”

“Could’ve sworn you’d been muttering about having just had a third lunch with that seasoned platter of roast beef,” they arched their eyebrow, and his eyes grew wide at that

Their senses of hearing and smell had to have been far superior than any he’d seen, seeing as the crowdedness of the diner meant that it was near damn impossible to hear anyone amidst the noise or discern particular smells among the various aromas

“Incredible,” he mused, before grinning, “And here I though I was being subtle about that.”

“Sorry to tell you, but as a fellow traveler, you probably stick out like a sore thumb. Nothing about you is subtle.”

As they inched their chair closer to him, he could converse more easily now, “You said you’re a traveler. On your own then, I’m guessing?”

Nodding, they added, “I like to travel light. Less to worry about,” and before he could open his mouth to speak, they added, “And don’t worry about me. It’s pretty therapeutic to be on my own, even if it does prove to be troublesome sometimes.”

And Ace, though with slightly different circumstances, did understand them quite well; having fared well on his own more times than he could count on one hand

He wasn’t even aware of it, but as he leaned in to talk more animatedly, that first moment of bonding was the start of a cherished friendship

As a romantic partner, I’ll have to admit that Ace is more of a worrywart than he appears, and would probably accidentally end up annoying them on a few occasions

It’s not like he means to seem like he’s walking on eggshells around them; he just worries about his manners and actions more than he’ll ever admit

That and the fact that he’s naturally the type of person to expend himself for the sake of his loved ones, so he can’t help the way he worriedly checks on them several times to make sure that everything’s alright

He probably forgets during these times that they’d been perfectly fine on their own before they’d met, but that’s fine

All they have to do is insist that they don’t need any help, and assure him that if they did they’d remember to rely on him more

Nudging him into quieting down is probably the best solution to this problem; once he’s aware of his actions he feels rather ashamed of himself afterwards, but he’ll learn to do better

Ace is sweet in his own impulsive, cheeky, and caring way, and that’s just another one of his quirks that they’ve come to notice about him

There’s so much of him to love, and being patient with him as he tries his best to make them comfortable is something they don’t mind doing in the least

Once he’s got a good rhythm going on in their relationship and he loosens up, he’ll realize that accepting their help with their incredible abilities isn’t at all taking advantage of them

Their aid is much appreciated, and he’d tell them every day how grateful he is—not just for whatever their sharpened senses have just helped him out in, but for their mere existence in his life, and for filling his heart with love until it was brimming with affection

Taglist: @stories-that-shaped-me @finch-ya @wifeofkyojuro @livwritesfics

[talesfromthebacklog]

Tales From The Backlog: Cult Of The Lamb

7/10

I bought this a few months back after I saw Mashed's very cute (and a little morbid) "Cult Of The Lamb" animation.

Cult Of The Lamb is an interesting franchise. It's so cute and yet has a great sense of crass humor. I put about 22 hours into this title and finished the game. (As well as got the DLC and finished some of the small side missions offered in game.)

It's a short romp but a good one nonetheless. Your own character motivation is very murky. You've been wronged, but have an opportunity to do a great deal of hurt in return. You're able to choose how benevolent (or malevolent) your cult becomes. I mostly stuck with the positive options because the villagers were ultimately so cute. (Though design wise I think the lamb is the cutest.)

The game is good but is financially broken quickly. Once you unlock the fishing ritual; kiss your money troubles goodbye. For a majority of my playthrough I wanted for nothing. This made the cult management part of the game a breeze which is a double edged sword. As I'm the kind of player where once I've started achieving things with too much ease I start to get bored. I don't want to struggle the whole game but I also broke it too quickly. (I picked up Rune Factory 3 Special in September which had a similar problem. I was 2/3rds through the game with $400,000 and had just finished year 1 summer in a few days. Not all games have to be long. I don't want this to be a long experience nor do I appreciate extending the game through empty grinding. I simply want the resources to be a touch more balanced.)

Don't get that complaint twisted, the cult management is fun. Though if they make any more of this game in the future I'd like to see some mechanics swapped for others. And maybe one or two more things to do. The villagers are great. I love how they defect, I like that they're dumb as rocks, it's cute you can customize each one. I kinda wish my marriage spouse had a special outfit to match you though. I want to see my spouse wear a special fleece or flower crown.

While it has good presentation I found the game likes to crash (and lag) a lot. Especially in-between transitions and loading screens. While those things aren't necessarily a game ruiner for me, I am surprised those problems haven't been patched out in the year-ish its been out. Its saving grace is its rigorous auto-save. Which does help make the problem more ignorable. But it is scary going through dungeons sometimes when that load screen takes jussssst a little too long and you're so close to the end with a bunch of good loot.

Okay? But what about the rogue-like portion of the game?:

You see a lot of bones of other games in Cult of The Lamb. Some I like. Some I don't. It mostly reminds me of The Binding of Isaac in terms of themes and gameplay. (A game I like aesthetically but don't like to play. Which in contrast I prefer Cult of The Lamb as it gives a break from its dungeon crawling and provides the dungeon crawling in shorter bursts. Binding is built well, but too long winded for my taste.) Also Stardew Valley. That fishing game was awfully familiar! Lol.

My main complaint is how I constantly seem to ONLY get my least favorite weapon of the game, the hammer. As a speedy player it's atrocious to play. Exiting/dying/finishing the dungeon and then coming back doesn't seem to fix my problem either. I keep getting the slow hammers. And I can play with them effectively... But they aren't fucking fun. Weapons just don't seem to have even distribution. I like the axe and the dagger damn it. It'd be less of a headache if weapon replacements appeared more frequently but the game seems to prefer ONLY giving me multiple curse/relic choices over multiple weapon choices. I've only ever seen the gloves appear two or three times in my playthrough and I was in the dungeons constantly.

I love how in a Cult of The Lamb dungeon romp the game gives you an option to play a dungeon as long or short as you like (Once you've beaten an area). The resource collecting is also fun and I like destroying the environments. And while I didn't use it, it was a nice touch that it allows players to turn off time progression in dungeons.

Other than that it's pretty standard fare. If you're good at these games you darn near don't need the curses and relics. Especially after you've racked up your tarot card deck. The tarot cards are arguably my favorite part of the dungeon sequences. They are small, decently substantial rewards for thoroughly exploring dungeons that give you some pretty fun boosts. Especially once you get multiple cards those boosts really start to add up and make you feel powerful. This paired with the "fleece" you choose to wear makes for a good time. The golden fleece was solidly my favorite of the lot.

The enemy variety is small but fun. I like the bosses. The fourth boss in particular I actually felt bad for to some degree. Learning more of the limited lore that is provided is satisfying. It's paced nicely too. And it is not lost on the game how hypocritical your own crusade is in your quest for freedom.

Overall this was a good experience and one I might come back to in a few years.

...

I am definitely getting some of their merch though the lamb is so stinking CUTE.

[white-collar-lawmen-and-conmen]

Marbles

Summary: Ellen isn't the only person who knew Neal Caffrey before he became Neal Caffrey.

Word Count: 7,333

Requested by anonymous; photo credit is Jeff Eastin's Twitter

St. Louis, 1984

            Kids at school called you Marbles because you always had a little bag of them with you. You knew even then that the nickname was supposed to be mean, but it had never gotten under your skin. You just laughed along, because, yeah, it was kinda weird that you carried marbles, but you played with them all the time and loved it. And before long, they were calling you Marbles because it stuck, not because they were laughing at you.

            Marbles were just great fun. And in second grade, whenever you had extra time, your teacher would let you play with them and a classmate or two so long as your other work was already done. After a couple of weeks into the school year, you had a few people you would regularly play with. Danny was one of them. His bright blue eyes made him stand out from the boys at his table. He was cute, but at seven, you still preferred puppies to boys.

            The first day he talked to you, you’d been bouncing some marbles on the carpeted floor to stay quiet, staring at them intently and trying to devise a new game in your head. Danny sat cross-legged and asked if he could play. Abandoning your half-baked game, you reached up to your desk and grabbed a piece of paper from your class folder, quickly drew the circles to represent a mancala board, and divided the marbles. Danny beat you on his first try. That was when you knew you liked him. You gave him a bag of your marbles so he could make new games, too.

            From then on, you played together whenever you could, but scarcely stuck with one game for very long. You were both easily bored by the simple games that marbles allowed, so you fiddled with the rules, tampering with the game play to see what would happen. Sometimes you created entirely new games, sometimes incorporating other tools that were easy to carry in school or to the park, like a set of dice or an origami fortune teller.

            By Christmas that same year, you’d started to exhaust your options and branched out into other ways of entertaining yourselves. Cards were good for quick games, and the randomness of a good shuffle kept games interesting for longer. Puzzles were great for you both, but they took too long to do at school and you could only play them when you had a playdate or sleepover. Eventually, you settled on codes and ciphers as your mutual favorite activity. You could create them when you were together and have secret communications, or you could create them separately and challenge each other to solve them. You liked to base yours on symbols and books. Danny liked incorporating math. By the end of the school year, you had a collection of codes of varying complexity.

St. Louis, 1986

            After nearly two years of friendship, you and Danny snuck downstairs to his aunt Ellen’s TV to watch a new movie. It was called The Color of Money. With a shelf of adult movies in front of you, you were way more interested in the popular titles you recognized, like Ferris Bueller and Top Gun, but Danny convinced you to give Scorsese a try and you never regretted it. That movie introduced you two to the world of gambling. As cynical nine-year-olds, you weren’t really interested in the idea of gambling so much as the behavior of people who did it – and the methods behind milking out the most rewards for the least risks.

            It took some needling and permission from your parents, but Ellen finally agreed to teach you both how to play poker. One Friday, she picked you both up from school, took you to the store to pick out a box of your favorite candies, and used the chocolates in place of money. With bowls of candy at stake, you learned what cards you wanted, when to fold, and how to count the multicolored plastic poker chips. Initially, Ellen hadn’t wanted to teach you to bluff on principle of not encouraging children to lie, but they had bluffed in all the movies, so you and Danny both tried it without her suggestion. She was exasperated, but amused by your complete failure. Danny had much better results, and when Ellen went to bed and left you to either play cards or watch a movie, he told you that when you lied, you always lifted your chin, like you were daring someone to call you on it.

            You both had detention the next week for trying to use poker to win your classmates’ brownies at lunch.

St. Louis, 1989

            When you were twelve, Nintendo came out with the Game Boy. Neither of your families had the kind of money to spend on a game system like that, so you and Danny decided you could team up to buy one for yourselves to trade back and forth. It was better to have the hot new thing sooner than later, even if it meant taking turns. You took out a sheet of paper to figure out how long it would take if you pooled your money together; even with the little bit of spare allowances you had socked away, you both still needed to save over thirty dollars each.

            In hindsight, what happened next was probably your parents’ first red flag.

            Sixty-four bucks, for a couple of kids in the late eighties, was a lot of money, and you were both too young to legally get jobs. Divide and conquer, however, had already demonstrated merit when it came to convincing your parents of letting you go to the fair or the movies, so why not divide and conquer to raise cash? All you needed was enough people contributing. But then came the problem that if they contributed, they’d feel entitled to your Game Boy. It was for the two of you, not anyone else. So they would need to be paid back by money you got from somewhere else.

            To summarize a long story, and explain many angry phone calls from your peers’ parents, you and Danny essentially ran a pyramid scheme to raise the money for a Game Boy, enticing kids in your old elementary school to pay forward their allowance to your first- and second-round financiers in your middle school. When you were caught, you were grounded for months – but by this point, you were both well-practiced at sneaking between each other’s houses and hiding things in your rooms, and you had a Game Boy.

            Your parents’ anger and the way your little sister’s friends’ parents treated you made you realize you’d done something morally wrong. It was humiliating and shameful to be looked at that way. Danny didn’t take it as hard as you did. It rolled off his back once Ellen was back to treating him the way she always had. Danny needed to be liked, and he was liked a lot, because he was cute, and smart, and didn’t bully girls at school, and now he had a Game Boy, so he didn’t mind that kids in a different school and their parents he never saw thought badly of him. It didn’t affect him day to day the way that the guilt started to carve into your self-esteem.

            In hindsight, that was your first red flag that there was something a little bit off about Danny. When you brought it up to him, he genuinely didn’t see why you felt so bad. You hadn’t lied to those little kids, and after all, each one only sacrified a couple of dollars. You couldn’t articulate just why, but you needed to make it right. In the end, Danny helped you make it up to the kids by handing back out a portion of your allowances for a few weeks and helping out with their homework, but you knew he’d only done it because he was sad to see you so upset.

            You couldn’t deny how great it had felt to accomplish something so quickly, and Danny had boasted for weeks about how persuasive he’d been, but you made an agreement that from then on you wouldn’t hustle kids anymore. Danny pouted about it a little because they were such easy marks, but he agreed to keep you happy. When your wrongs were righted, you felt restored, and you got back to your regular mischief – but you were much more cautious of whether you were being clever or just unethical.

St. Louis, 1992

            High school was an entirely different beast from middle school. You and Danny kept sending each other coded letters and hanging out on the weekends, but he was the one who got caught up in how girls looked twice at him and how guys wanted to be his friend. Danny joined the cross-country team, partly to spend more time with those friends and partly to keep in shape to apply for the police academy after high school, and started to pursue girls. He had a new girlfriend every other month. And it meant, altogether, that there was less time for you – so you followed his lead and joined your own clubs, made your own friends.

            In freshman year, there had been a rumor that you were dating. You’d loudly opposed it. You had eyes and could see that he was hot, and you didn’t think you’d ever be happy with anyone less smart, or less kind to you, but the idea of kissing Danny just made your stomach turn. There was one time when he started dating a cheerleader who made the mistake of threatening to “ruin” you if you didn’t back off of “her” Danny – he dumped her as soon as you told him what happened. So, although you didn’t have as much time to spend with each other, there was never any doubt that you were still best friends.

            You still liked friendly competitions, and found ways to work together to make quick money or convince your parents that what you wanted to do or see was a good idea. But something about high school flipped a switch in Danny. Maybe it was all the teachers saying now was the time to shape up. Suddenly, everything he did was in light of being like his father. Danny had always idolized his dead dad, and you couldn’t bring yourself to criticize him for that, even when it made him sort of a buzzkill. Did he really think that none of the city cops had ever snuck some liquor from their mom’s freezer? And goodbye to any manipulative schemes – even if your conscience hadn’t stopped you, Danny’s ambitions would have. He still had no moral compunctions about taking from people who didn’t need what they had, but for the fact that it was illegal and could jeopardize his future as a cop.

            “Cop this, cop that,” you complained once, playfully shoving at his arm. “Am I gonna have to become a criminal to force you to loosen up?”

            “You wouldn’t dare,” Danny responded with absolute confidence. “You wouldn’t like prison.”

            You’d scoffed. “You’d turn in your best friend?!”

            He gave you a cheeky grin. “If my best friend’s not smart enough to get away with crimes, she shouldn’t be committing them.”

St. Louis, 1995

            You weren’t sure what you wanted to do after high school. Your parents were supportive of whatever you wanted to do, but they hoped you’d at least give college a try; but without any idea what you wanted to actually do, you couldn’t justify spending that much money on it to yourself. The more you thought about what you really loved to do, you kept coming back to games and puzzles. It had been years since anyone called you Marbles, but the passion that bonded you and Danny had persisted.

            It was when you were watching the new Will Smith detective movie that you realized maybe you and Danny had this in common, too. He wasn’t just going to be a great cop because of his father; it was because he had a knack for solving puzzles. Maybe investigating was your great calling in life. How cool would it be to be detectives together??

            You sat on it for a few weeks, thinking it over before telling Danny you were going to apply, too. That way he wouldn’t know to be disappointed if you changed your mind. In the end, you never did get to tell him. You were still thinking about in by his eighteenth birthday.

            You’d already agreed to go to the mall together so you could buy him dinner, but he never came to get you like he’d said he would. You called his home, but no one picked up, so you called his aunt’s neighboring house instead. Ellen had answered and tiredly said that it wasn’t a good time. Assuming they’d had a fight, you let it be and minded your business, changing your plans when it became clear that the mall was off.

            The next morning, you left to go get him before walking to school, just to make sure he was feeling okay. He and Ellen rarely fought; Danny tried so hard to be on his best behavior for her, even before he’d straightened up to make sure he got into the police force. You noticed the post on your mailbox was up and detoured, and took out a piece of folded paper. No envelope and no stamp – just your name on one of the trifolds.

            Assuming it was another coded letter, you eagerly unfolded it to see what kind of patterns you were working with and mull it over on the way to school. To your disappointment, it was plain English. And, to your horror, it was an apologetic goodbye note.

            You sprinted several streets away to the Brooks house and pounded on the door. No one answered. You were almost panicking, considering grabbing the extra key Danny had told you about, before Ellen next door caught your eye, waving for you to come over. You jumped off the porch and ran in, dumping your backpack by the doorway to show her the note. The blonde woman barely glanced at it before saying, “I know. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

            It was surprising how clearly you could remember that moment all these years later, especially when what came next felt like a blur of colors and motions melting together. You think Ellen sat you on her couch and poured you some tea. She made you sit and breathe before she explained to you that she’d caught Danny – Neal – signing an application for the police. He was so eager to do it the moment he’d turned eighteen, that Ellen hadn’t had a choice. She’d had to tell him he couldn’t, because Danny Brooks wasn’t his real name; and even if it were, he needed to know that his motivation, the story he’d been telling himself for years, was a lie.

            Ellen told you that the Brooks family were actually in Wit-Sec. That Danny’s real name was Neal Bennett, and that his father had been a cop, but a dirty one. That Ellen wasn’t really his aunt, but his corrupt dad’s police partner, who had testified against him and asked to be relocated near Neal, just to make sure the little boy grew up safely. That Neal had been too young to remember. That he had run away, and she didn’t think he was coming back.

            Ellen – you still didn’t know if that was even her real name – let you sit on her couch for hours, staring at the floor, drinking the tea she poured mindlessly after it had gone cold, and crying with grief. It was the one and only time she’d ever condoned playing hooky from school. She rubbed your back for a little while, and then let you sit in silent shock while she went about cleaning. It took you an embarrassingly long time to realize that she wasn’t just cleaning, she was packing. Packing to leave. Because people were going to wonder why Neal had disappeared, and maybe the cops would get involved, and maybe her and Neal’s mother would both be in jeopardy.

            Ellen gave you a small box of Neal’s belongings that she thought you’d want. In the bottom was the bag of marbles you’d given him in second grade.

            Life was never the same after Neal left. Your best friend was gone. You figured, hey, he’d always been street-smart, the odds were pretty good that he was still alive; but the way he disappeared, the odds were also pretty good that you would never see him again, so to you, he may as well be dead. You thought of him sometimes (often) and hoped he was okay, when you weren’t wishing he would come home or cursing his fake name for making you care and then abandoning you without the decency to say goodbye to your face.

            You had so many questions in the coming weeks, but the day after Neal had vanished, so had Neal’s not-aunt, along with any opportunities for closure. Once, a few days later, you scraped up the guts to use that hidden key he’d showed you and let yourself into his and his mom’s house. It was completely empty, but left in disarray, with scraped paint, peeling wallpaper, dust settled deep in the rug corners. It had been a long time since you’d spent time together there, rather than in Ellen’s, and now you knew why. With hindsight, and a psychology degree, you were reasonably sure that Neal’s mother had been fighting depression his whole life, and most of the house felt the same.

            To make it worse, Danny had been such a beloved part of the school community that in the two months between his disappearance and your graduation, everything under the sun passed under the rumor mill. At first the cops investigated. They talked to you, interrogated you. One of them made you cry by insinuating you were secretly in love with him, and killed him because he’d been dating some chick on the track team. Another rubbed your shoulder and offered you cocoa because he “couldn’t possibly imagine how cofused you’re feeling”. And the whole time, you felt compelled to lie, choking on your tongue and stumbling through how he missed your plans on his birthday and left a note the next morning. You left out the part where you’d talked to Ellen, because what the hell were you supposed to do? Out her as a witness? Admit that Danny Brooks was such a deep lie that even he hadn’t known about it?

            Whatever the correct procedure was, no one had bothered to tell you about it. But you were reasonably certain that whoever was in charge of securing the Bennetts, and Ellen, they had caught wind of the investigation, because rather suddenly, all the police activity stopped. You were left alone, and so was his girlfriend, and the guys he played soccer with. The only way they would drop a missing persons case that hard and that quick was if the feds stepped in and told them to back off.

            Your parents, and even your little sister, knew that something was off about you. You’re reasonably sure that your entire family knew you knew something you weren’t sharing. But after weeks of trying to comfort you and get you to open up, they started to let go, trusting that if you knew anything actionable, you would have shared to protect your friend.

            The police letting it go didn’t end the nightmare for you, though, because the talk at school continued. The US Marshals couldn’t tell everyone to shut up and mind their business. Some people thought Danny had run away from his mother, others thought he’d been kidnapped and trafficked. Some thought he’d knocked up a girl and they ran away, but that one ended when the girl came back to school, and it turned out she’d had the flu. Some people thought you must have had something to do with it, because you’d been so close for so many years. Those people really got to you, because in truth, you could hardly believe you’d known the boy for most of your lives and never suspected he was anything else.

            March trudged into April and April slipped into May, and your graduation crawled closer. You were announced as valedictorian. When you went to get the honors sash to wear over your gown, the administrator compassionately told you that Neal would have been valedictorian, had he been there, so though they knew it must be hard, you should keep your head up and be proud enough for the both of you. That just made it even harder to get through. What was supposed to be one of the best days of your life was one of the darkest. A huge shared milestone was lonely. Neal had run away, left you picking up the pieces in a shattered social circle, and now you were taking his place, and somehow someone else had figured out he had that tiny edge over your GPA, and a picture of you in your cap and gown giving your speech was put on a blog along with an accusation that you killed him or threatened him away so you could be valedictorian.

            You had to get the hell away. Every unnecessary second you spent in your neighborhood, in your school, in the city you used to share felt like it was scratching at your skin. The application cycle for colleges was long closed, but you took your savings, promised to call your parents every day, and moved to California, as far away as you could get. There, you got a job, found a shitty apartment to share with a girl who minded her own business, and scraped by until you could apply to college.

Palo Alto, 1999

             High school valedictorian had felt like a hollow and bitter loss more than anything, rubbing salt in the wound that Neal was gone. In the four years of college since, you’d made plenty of friendly acquaintances, and even some good friends, but none as good as Neal.

            You’d visited the school counselor a few times. Told her, minus what you knew about Neal and Wit-Sec, what had happened to drive you all the way from St. Louis to Palo Alto for school. She’d been incredibly sympathetic, even as she suggested that perhaps there had been some trauma mixed in with the grief. Looking back, you could accept it for what it was. You lost your best friend, on multiple levels, and then members of your community turned on you, accusing you of the worst. And, though you were still the only one who knew, the whole time you’d been holding onto a secret boring through your soul that you couldn’t share with anyone.

            College graduation felt… much different. Like a success. You were proud of yourself. Sad to see it go but happy you’d made it out the other side, not just of a program but of the grief that had clenched you so tightly. This was what graduation was supposed to feel like. You weren’t valedictorian – or whatever the university equivalent was – this time, but you were graduating with honors, and had an acceptance to a graduate program in hand, so there was that.

            Your whole family made the trip to see you graduate. As you walked across that stage, receiving a piece of paper bound in ribbon, you wished once again that Neal would’ve been there to celebrate with you, and hoped that he was okay, then found your family in the crowd and beamed at them brightly, tears pricking in your eyes with joy. Your sister was doing her best to be both supportive and embarrassing by wearing an obnoxiously neon shirt with your name on it.

            You faltered in your steps across the stage, just for a second, when you saw the face in the crowd grinning from behind your father. They were so far away, it was kind of hard to see, but for just a second, you could’ve sworn…

            You got nudged from behind and had to look down to safely get off of the stage steps. When you were out of the way of the procession, you looked for your family again and stood on your toes to see around your parents. The face you thought you’d seen was gone. You looked down to the rolled paper in your hand, proclaiming you’d earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology, and shook your head; you, of all people, should know the power of wishful thinking.

            Your parents took you back by your apartment to change out of your regalia before going for a celebratory meal. You hurried up the steps in your dress heels, eager to get out of the heavy robe, but stopped cold just on entering the front door. Sitting on the cheap kitchen table was a bouquet of flowers and a little bag of marbles.

            Your gut response was to clear the apartment like they did in the cop movies, but you didn’t have a gun or a taser or even pepper spray, so if you searched and found someone, you were really just putting yourself in more danger. Cautiously, you inched towards the table, along the way recognizing the flowers as the kind that you used to admire while walking to school. When no one jumped, and you didn’t feel unsafe getting closer to the table, you slowly picked up the bag of marbles. The little beads clinked together. You held them up for inspection and realized that they were color tinted, but still mostly translucent, and inside each was a clay creature. Your favorite animal, sculpted and suspended in resin.

            No one had given you marbles, or called you by that name, in years. You hadn’t carried them anywhere since middle school. And you certainly couldn’t have told anyone what your favorite flowers were when you didn’t even remember what they were called.

            The marbles, the flowers, and the face you thought you’d seen at the ceremony all added up to mean one thing to you, and instead of changing your clothes, you sat at the table with the marbles in your hand and had a good, solid cry for a few minutes. Then you stored your new marbles with shaking hands in your so-called Neal Box and put the flowers in some water. You couldn’t decide if you were happy, sad, or furious, but it all boiled down to one thing: he was alive. And still thought about you, just like you still thought of him. And that was something to celebrate, even if your family didn’t know it wasn’t just your graduation that you were happily crying over.

Quantico, 2001

            Completing your Master’s degree was your new proudest achievement, but though there wasn’t anything bad about that graduation, when you walked the stage, you’d hoped to catch another glimpse of a familiar face. No such luck. You still weren’t too worried. Ever since getting those beautiful marbles, you’d gotten an anonymous postcard every once in a while. There was usually a little note on them in one of your oldest, simplest ciphers. Nothing complex, but enough to let you know that he was okay, and he was thinking of you.

            Sometimes you wondered why he didn’t ever just come say hello if he missed you. Yes, you were a part of Danny Brooks’ history. But if Neal Bennett had had to reinvent himself out of a lie, did that have to mean shunning everything about who he’d been?

            Still, a note once in a while was better than the four-plus years you spent with radio silence, hoping he was alive, knowing it was even probable, but with no proof and no way of verifying.

            Shortly out of your Master’s program, you were accepted into the FBI. A couple of internships during school had showed you that you weren’t interested in clinical practice, nor did you think you really had the drive to push through a doctorate program, so you looked for ways you could use your degrees to solve puzzles, returning to that lifelong passion for an intelligent challenge. You found the bureau, and other members of the alphabet soup, but especially the bureau. It was probationary, but you were in, and it was time to head to Quantico.

            The physical exercises were draining. You’d never been so active in your life. Still, the mental exercises were more entertaining than not, so long as they didn’t get so repetitive. Your very favorite instructor took the class of recruits through prolific cases that hadn’t quite become public knowledge, or cold cases that still had yet to be solved. Unlike a documentary, instead of telling you step-by-step what had happened, he prompted and prodded at the agents in training to work their way through themselves. You excelled at this exercise and it proved to you that, although you’d have to work hard to secure a role where you could choose to work on these types of cases, the opportunity was there. That was what you wanted to work towards.

            At least, it was your favorite class. Your emotions changed the day that you were shown pictures of inductees into the FBI’s Most Wanted ranks. Because, to your horror, you recognized one of those faces. He was six years older, but there was no chance you wouldn’t have recognized him. Not him.

            “Not him,” you nearly whispered out loud, barely catching yourself before your tongue moved in your mouth. You drank in all the information they had on him – suspected of bond forgery, along with a litany of other crimes, and dubbed James Bonds, because they had no clue what his real name was.

            You had a split second choice to make, and you felt the pressure beating down on you. Either betray your best friend and turn him in to the FBI, or betray the moral conscience you’d long since sworn to live by – along with the bureau you were about to swear to serve.

            It was an easier choice than it should have been. It would haunt you, but you couldn’t fathom for a second turning your back on him. For as long as you stared at the list of things he was wanted for, there was nothing in that list that could make you hate the man he’d become.

            The instructor had noticed you stopped at Neal’s image. “Is there a problem?” He asked you expectantly.

            Shit. Every game of poker with Neal came to mind and you controlled all the tells he had ever warned you of, making your decision and committing to it. “No,” you said, looking up and putting on your best amused face. “Sorry, Sir. It’s just… James Bonds?”

            You sold it so well that you should’ve been ashamed. The senior agent chuckled and shook his head a bit. “I guess the opportunity felt too good to pass on,” he said, picking up the flyers from your row to share with the next group.

Quantico, 2003

            You weren’t capable of turning on Neal, but you also couldn’t bring yourself to follow his case. The conflict of interest was too strong in your gut, so you just turned a blind eye to any flyer you saw, or a deaf ear to any curious chatter about James Bonds and his globetrotting stunts.

            You kept an eye out for postcards and anonymous letters, but they’d become less frequent. Either Neal had been keeping tabs and learned you joined the bureau, or he’d realized sending mail was becoming more hazardous. In either case, you still got some once in a while, so if it were the former, he was trusting you.

            Over the years, the more you heard about him, the more impressed you were. But also the more… saddened you became. Neal had strayed so far from the man he had wanted to be when you’d spent so much time together. You had to wonder if he were truly happy. At this point, his face was plastered anywhere law enforcement could be assed to look, and you had to hope that he was, because you feared it was too late for him to change course, even if he wanted to.

            At some point, you’d begun to realize that you were technically aiding him just by keeping in touch. You didn’t have a way to send messages to him, but however he’d found your address repeatedly, he really was trusting you – it took over a year, but between bits you overheard and images on postcards, you realized that he was actively sending you clues as to where he was. Now, you doubted that he was doing so with that actual intention. More likely, he was just sending you the postcards because he knew you’d always liked their pictures and wanted to travel. But there was an additional professional boundary being crossed when you knew that the agent in charge of his case was searching for him in Germany or Iceland when you’d just gotten a card from Cape Town or Tehran.

            It also occurred to you that he wouldn’t be an anonymous James Bonds forever. Sooner or later they would figure out who he was. They’d trace him back to either Neal Bennett or Danny Brooks. Both names would flag with the Marshals, and the FBI would learn all about how he disappeared overnight from St. Louis. The FBI would also learn all about how the police had questioned his best friend, Y/N Y/L/N, for days. And then they would have a lot of uncomfortable questions for you that you still had no idea how you were going to answer.

            Then, one day, James Bonds had a name. Neal Caffrey. You didn’t recognize his last name, but it was instantly committed to your memory. Now you knew what he was going by. It was another hit to your heart. He didn’t keep either of his last names. But he had kept his birth name – which had been foreign to him when he learned what it was. It was hard to tell what was going on in his head. You hoped he knew what he was doing. And you hoped that whatever he was choosing, he was happy and safe.

            From the moment he’d been named, you kept waiting for the agents you worked with to turn on you, ask you those awkward questions, but the time never seemed to come. For a second, you had considered running, but you didn’t have the knowledge or connections to get very far or hide for very long. No, the best option for you would be to bow your head and accept the consequences. But those consequences didn’t come for you, and when you saw the updated flyer, you saw why. They had him listed as born in Texas during February. The bureau had a whole fake identity that they fully believed; they had no idea who he really was.

            “You astound me every time,” you’d muttered to yourself, closing the browser window.

Ossining, 2005

            If you ask someone where Sing Sing is, they’ll probably just say “New York”. If pressed, they might even say “New York City”. Very rarely do they actually realize it’s about thirty miles upstate in a little town called Ossining. You’d never been, and had no reason to go, but when you saw the email memo that Neal Caffrey had been apprehended and was awaiting arraignment, you didn’t think you had much of a choice in the matter. You filed for a transfer, ostensibly for a change in scenery, and fortunately, it was granted. Your new home was New York City.

            Your shoes and your conscience itched to guide you upstate straight away, but as much as it pained you, you forced yourself to stay away until after he was convicted. Neal was considered an extreme flight risk; any interactions he had were extremely closely monitored. No matter how loyal you were, you were still afraid of being in trouble for failing to give up his name and whereabouts. And while that made you feel quite selfish, there was also the detail that he’d been “caught” by voluntarily walking into a trap to protect his girlfriend from taking the fall for him. It comforted you that he was still the same softhearted man you’d always known and loved – but, since he’d always been fiercely protective, you weren’t sure if he’d welcome you jeopardizing your good standing to see him.

            Well, too bad. You winced. Okay, maybe a little more sympathy for the guy in prison.

            You signed in a civilian, not an agent, in the hopes that the bureau was less likely to be notified. You weren’t sure what you’d say, but you couldn’t just leave Neal to rot alone in here. The place looked like the place of nightmares, and you were free to just turn around and walk out the door. Your heart ached. God, Neal…

            They searched you quite invasively, but that bit of your dignity was a small price to pay. Once satisfied you weren’t using your body to smuggle a nail file or the like, the guards had you wait while they fetched Neal for visitation and put him in a small monitored cell, then allowed you to be led back the same way. The moment you realized he had to have visitors in a cell with him, it felt like your heart skipped a beat. You knew his containment orders were serious, but to not even be permitted to use the visitation room? This was the kind of restriction that was usually placed on quite dangerous felons.

            There was already one guard standing inside with Neal, close to the door but warily watching. You could tell from his profile, in the ugly orange jumpsuit, that his wrists and ankles were manacled together and locked to the metal table. As the guard who’d led you back let you enter, the guard already inside gruffly barked the rules: fifteen minutes, follow the tape on the floor to your seat (rather than take a shortcut which passed closer to Neal), and absolutely no touching.

             You ventured in as Neal turned around as well as he was able to see you. The surprise in his eyes was quickly taken over by delight and he started to stand, only to get yanked down by the links around his wrists. That sight alone nearly killed your excitement to see him, but he remained undeterred. “Marbles!” he cheerfully chirped your old name.

            You forced a little laugh, loosely sticking to the tape and hurrying to your side of the table, swinging your legs in comfortably to sit across from him. “You are such an ass, Neal,” you complained with a small smile.

            There was almost a little look of shock when his chosen name came out of your mouth so casually, but before you could respond to it, it had melted into a soft smile that lit up his eyes. He looked at you like you’d put the sun in the sky for a long minute. “I’ve missed you,” he said quietly.

            “I’ve missed you, too,” you risked answering, not daring to look to the guard. Hopefully he wouldn’t remember this bit. “When you… well, I thought for years that was it.”

            “It wasn’t meant to be,” Neal admitted. It was easy to say that now that it was in the past and you’d gotten back in touch, but you couldn’t help but trust him. Neal had never told you an outright lie before, not for any reason. “Things just… is it too cliché to say I needed to find myself?”

            You hesitated, but shook your head. “No,” you said haltingly, “But there were better ways to do it than becoming a milk box picture.” You’d imagined screaming in his face for it, giving him a real what-for over the way he left you to pick up the pieces he left behind. But now that you were here, in a prison where he’d be spending the next half decade of his life – well, it was hard to hold onto any anger. Neal was paying for his mistakes. You didn’t need to pile on with trauma you’d already processed. “Did you?” You gently prompted, sensing that if you didn’t, he was going to wait for you to say what you’d thought about.

            His smile tightened into something wistful. Your heart sank a little for him. “I think I got close at times,” he allowed. You didn’t quite buy it, but thought if he needed to believe it, it wouldn’t hurt to let him tell himself that all of this was worth it. Like he’d always done when he was unhappy, he turned the subject around back to yourself. “I’m so proud of you, Y/N. I knew you’d make something good for yourself.”

            We could’ve done it together. You thought back to his eighteenth birthday. You’d been so close to telling him you were going to take that next step with him. Maybe if he’d known it wasn’t just his journey… well, it didn’t matter now. It was ten years in the past.

            “Stop talking like we’re in retirement,” you accused lightly. If it weren’t for the guard who felt very strongly about touching, you’d have nudged his foot under the table. “We’ve got ages to make more out of ourselves yet still.”

            “You do,” Neal disagreed graciously.

            “No, we do,” you argued, saying it so firmly that he wasn’t allowed to disagree again. Then you softened your tone, because you knew he already knew how bad this was going to be. “Four years… it’s gonna be hard. But one day it’ll be done and you’ll have a whole life in front of you to do something new.” It was the twenty-first century. When he got through his sentence, he’d still have more than half his life expectancy ahead. “And we’re gonna make it good. Got it?”

            Neal’s expression had hardened a bit, for a moment showing his anger. When he was Danny, he’d been good at concealing anger, but when it did come out, it was volatile. Ellen wanted to put him in therapy to better manage it, but his mother had never gone through with it, so Neal had been left learning to self-soothe and manipulate his own emotions until he could explode in private. It wasn’t pretty. And, unfortunately, based on that familiar expression he’d made, that habit hadn’t changed. But when you were done, he seemed to assess what you were saying and judge it on the merits of your own belief in it, because he studied your face as he slowly nodded, and the anger slipped away, either unwinding from his joints or being masked by something else. You hoped for the former, but truthfully, it had been ten years. You’d once known him better than anyone. While you still suspected that that was largely true, you couldn’t be sure this hadn’t changed.

            “We will,” he echoed after you. “You’ll be here?”

            You nodded with certainty. If nothing he’d done so far had gotten you fed up with him, there was probably nothing he could manage from inside a prison to change that. “I will.”

            You put a hand down on the table. The guard locked his eyes on it and you barely refrained from rolling your eyes. Symbolically, you were offering Neal a hand to hold. Judging by how exasperatedly he glanced at the guard, he understood as he made an exaggeratedly slow motion, mirroring your hand but not reaching across to you.

            “It’s gonna be a long four years,” Neal grumbled under his breath, shooting an irritable glare in the guard’s direction.

~~~ ~~~

A/N: Wow! This ended up twice as long as I planned because I got really into it and carried away a bit. I might even be open to a continuation... Anyway, if you liked it and want to get announcements about stories and chat about what's coming up, leave a comment asking to join the Discord and I'll send you a link!

[alitgblog]

volume x thoughts

so much drama so many CHALLENGES i relate to max wanting to take a nap this is exhausting for MC but me? oh I'm living for this shit

my MC was honest to Jin but I have a feeling that might mean nothing because I think the betrayal is worse she cheated on him with Claudia who she has potential romantic feelings for rather than Max, just some guy she's barely talked to and switched to relatively last minute

but oh him being cold to her this episode 🥲🥲🥲

I of course mean this is the best way bc that's better writing than him being like oh well and then moving on

so I know I did defend Sienna last week and while her style does feel out of place, I appreciate them trying to give people different styles. At least it's not Oakley looking like he's got three layers on in the heat 🫢. that being said: I know that I haven't paid for one of the nicer sleepwear options yet but also Sienna who are you to talk about fashion

moving on, I do wish Max would get the hint because as soon as we entered casa MC has been like uhh Max, who? but he's acting like they have something and tbh while it is a branching issue, I've also just been playing this season weird and I kinda think it would happen anyway. like it feels like in s2 post casa when a bunch of the guys start acting the same.

actually most routes need to close sooner if the player chooses so because I think Hari and Hazel are cute but he needs to figure his shit out with MC soon especially since they've barely talked and he hasn't really pulled her aside to talk about where they stand. And I think Hari is a good LI bc he has his own personality (since his route isn't merged like OG boys or casa boys) but he's shoved in the background so much I almost forget he's there. But I think his story would be interesting bc he didn't get time with MC and he likes Hazel, but is genuinely struggling between the two (versus OG boy who doesn't like Sienna). And that's also fun bc from what I remember he comes off as someone who has it all figured out bc he's very driven and competitive and knows what he wants (but now he doesn't know what he wants). but again, unfortunately not much screen time for him.

back on the topic of routes needing to close though: MC getting randomly flirted at by Theo?? Claudia is confused by that, and so am I. reminds me of S4 when I first played I didn't go for Will but he just up and randomly was like hey we have a connection, right? and I was like uhhhh

also a small thing but I wish the little gossip drama things were more organic? like why do emel and Oakley have to run to pull MC aside to chat about drama when they could be chatting and MC comes up to them bc they're friends. Also it seems like every time this sort of thing happens it comes with a scene change which is so unnecessary. I'm OK with it sometimes but it feels like too much is going on when we are just sitting by the pool for ten lines of dialogue then flash to the beanbags only to get offered a gem scene that I might not even listen to. (actually bigger complaint: stop hiding the important content behind paywalls!!)

so snog, marry, pie. literally every proposal I was like gasp really?? but yes. everyone's in love with her she can't help it.

no but literally, again, Theo what are you doing? we've barely talked. for my playthrough this is gonna just be a friendship proposal. and if I had that much freedom with the proposal speech I would've proposed to him back.

if this was the show, there would be a recoupling and Liam would pick Sienna and Bea would be slighted but get over him, except this leaves her vulnerable either single or in a friendship couple and then eventually dumped before Liam leaves and it's really sad but she becomes an audience favorite. so if this happens that's my hc. I however do still hope Claudia and Bea leave their men regardless if MC couples with them because I mean....

OK it's just a kiss but still I just need them to be happy and Claudia seems bored of men and Bea needs a hero to save her from Liam

so I had my MC kiss max on the cheek, marry Jin, and pie Liam (on behalf of Bea and also bc he's a jerk). Then she got the extra pie, and listen all my the options for the extra pie were so good. I wanted to pie Liam again or get Emel just for fun but had to go to Sienna for continuing to be smug and delusional about Jin.

so after this, you get the option to hear about the gossip from the night before from Oakley and Emel. and there's some continuity errors about what happened when. like it makes it seem like there should've been another night passed after the challenge, but no it just continues. I personally wouldn't mind I my there were some time skips. gives me space to hc what happens during them and also implies a night has passed without writing it, It doesn't make the most sense bc you'd want to know what your character is experiencing but it's just another option in.

another reason is bc we very quickly get another challenge! which means two challenges in one day and presumably that night (in the next volume) it's movie night.

im upset that it's couple goals 2.0 bc (1) i don't love repeat games and (2) love island has another game which is basically the same thing which is the ranking game where they essentially do couple superlatives and as a group have to come to a consensus about first second and third. and we have so many couples we could do it. it also is such a drama stirring game which seems like the goal here.

at some point we stopped getting the option to vote which is such a shame bc I would've voted Hari and Hazel for more things. And then hazel gets sad afterwards? babe I'd vote for you if I could 🥺

oh but MC telling off Sienna??? icon behavior

very little Claudia romance this volume unfortunately. and then not a lot of talking to Max either despite them allegedly having the best banter. however I'm living for all the chats with Jin. I'm like a toddler with no object permanence: like oh, Claudia isnt talking to me? guess I'm on back on a Jin route

also I was living for every chat she had with Jin, like they make him sound so sweet to MC

I still think having OG boy and MC be single and forced to switch was a bad choice because similar to my last post, they could've just not done that and changed very little. Like Jin was scared and switched to Sienna would've been fine but as soon as MC is back he's all about her (which happens a lot in the show). I guess the downside of this, now in retrospect, is you don't get the tension between OG boy and Casa boy because that was also so so good this volume.

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

so i can finally see (you’re as fucked up as me)

A/N: listen i've been working on this since tango said that thing on stream a while ago about contemplating kidnapping someone to get their soulmate to give them things, and i thought: what if they tried to kidnap pearl? so this happened. and it turned into a lot more than that, (including an eventual sequel to this) so enjoy! (also i'm imagining this takes place sometime before the ranch burned)

Warnings: arguing, face slapping, crying, past animal death, necromancy mention, hugs, forehead kisses, polyamory negotiations (not really a warning i guess, just a heads up that this is indeed a fic with romantic pairings haha), dirty jokes

Summary: Tango and Jimmy have a great plan. Kidnap someone's soulmate for ransom- it's totally gonna work. Until it doesn't.

AO3 Link

-

Jimmy and Tango had gotten desperate. More desperate than just begging people for materials. So they decided that the next best option would be to kidnap someone's soulmate and hold them ransom. And after going through their options… they decided Pearl would be their best option.

"Are you sure about this?" Tango asked from where he and Jimmy were crouched in the trees, watching Pearl muddle around on her own.

"What do you mean, this was your idea!" Jimmy replied in a harsh whisper.

"Well yeah, but I mean are we sure about targeting Pearl. She and Scott are kinda on uneasy terms," Tango pointed out.

"Scott will come for her, trust me. He might act all petty and annoyed with people, but he really cares deep down," Jimmy said firmly. Tango shrugged, and pulled a fishing rod out of his inventory.

"You know him better than me," Tango said, and Jimmy fought back a blush at his words.

“That was a long time ago,” Jimmy said wistfully. Tango just smiled, kind and gentle.

“Still. I trust your judgment,” Tango said, before his smile turned a touch devious as he looked back down at Pearl. He whipped the fishing line down, the line coiling around her and the hook catching on her hoodie. She yelped in surprise as Tango reeled her in. Tango tied the line around a sturdy branch, letting Pearl hang above the ground, toes just barely scraping the forest floor. Jimmy jumped from the tree, wings flaring out and giving him a gentle descent down.

“Jimmy, what are you doing?” Pearl asked, sounding more bored than distressed. Jimmy grinned in a way that he hoped was threatening (but judging by Pearl’s unchanged expression, it wasn’t).

“Well you see, Tango and I need materials. And you happened to be on your own,” Jimmy said, attempting more of a sly smirk that go-around. Pearl still wasn’t impressed, and rolled her eyes.

“What makes you think I’ve got anything?” she scoffed. Just then, Tango hopped down beside Jimmy, successfully grinning with enough malice that seemed to make Pearl at least a little unsettled.

“Maybe you don’t- but we’re sure Scott does. Jimmy, be a dear and send the message,” Tango said. Jimmy flushed a bit at the petname, scrambling for his communicator.

<SolidarityGaming> whispered to <Smajor1995> we have your soulmate

“It’s done,” Jimmy said, looking at Pearl with smug defiance. Only to see a vaguely heartbroken expression that Pearl quickly smoothed over.

“You noticed I was alone, right?” Pearl scoffed.

“Well yeah, but only an idiot wouldn’t come for their soulmate,” Jimmy shot back, but it felt a little weak. Especially as his communicator buzzed with a new message.

<Smajor1995> whispered to <SolidarityGaming> I can literally see Cleo across the bridge?

<SolidarityGaming> whispered to <Smajor1995> I MEANT YOUR REAL SOULMATE

<Smajor1995> whispered to <SolidarityGaming> Oh, Pearl? Keep her, it saves me the trouble.

Jimmy just stared down at his communicator in shock. Tango glanced over his shoulder, frowning at the message.

“He’s not coming, is he,” Pearl said, not sounding surprised in the slightest. She looked so… dismal. Jimmy didn’t like the look on her one bit. He scowled and shoved his communicator in his pocket.

“Oh I’ll get him to turn up. He’s just being- being Scott about it. I’ll be back,” Jimmy fumed, not waiting for an answer from Pearl or Tango, heading off in the direction of Scott’s house.

-

Jimmy stormed up the front steps, sharply calling out for Scott. He stopped outside of his door, foot tapping impatiently on the porch. He didn’t hear anything for a few beats, and decided to just go in. He’d get Scott to talk to him, one way or another.

However, he heard a long-suffering sigh from upstairs once Jimmy shut the door behind him. Soon enough, Scott came sliding down the ladder, stepping out into the main room and crossing his arms at Jimmy.

“You can’t just barge into my house, Jimmy,” he scowled.

“Had to check if you were even here!” Jimmy protested, feathers puffing up a little indignantly. Scott just rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. What do you want?” Scott asked with a bored hum. Jimmy stared at him incredulously, brows furrowed together.

“Wh- did you not see my messages?!” Jimmy sputtered. Scott fixed him with a deadpan stare.

“Obviously I saw them, I replied to you,” Scott replied dryly. Jimmy made a frustrated sound, hands gesturing wildly and wings fluttering a bit in irritation.

“We have Pearl! And we’ll- we’ll hurt her, which’ll hurt you- are you gonna negotiate with us to let her go or not?!” Jimmy sputtered.

“Nah. Like I said, saves me the trouble. I can handle the pain, and besides, you guys can’t even kill her- you’re not red. So what should I care what you do with Pearl,” Scott scoffed. Jimmy just stared at Scott for a few moments in openmouthed shock.

"You're supposed to care about her, she's your soulmate!" Jimmy cried, vaguely wondering how the Scott before him was the same one who had cared so much about people in his previous lives.

"Better to abandon someone then to be the one abandoned," Scott said bitterly. Jimmy gritted his teeth, the slight pang of guilt being overwhelmed by anger on Pearl's behalf.

"That's not fair- she doesn't deserve that, Scott!" Jimmy fumed.

"Oh yeah? What about what I deserve?! Every time I end up on a world like this, I've ended up alone. Is it so bad that I want a chance to do things my way?!" Scott snapped. Guilt crawled up Jimmy’s throat- as did memories of a date crafted for him that Jimmy didn’t quite know how to respond to, him vowing to kill a Scott with red eyes and glinting fangs, and coming across Scott life after life but never being sure if he was supposed to reach out to him again or just leave things alone- but he shoved it all down. This was about Pearl, not them.

"Scott, don't make this about us," Jimmy said lowly. That caused Scott to snap, tears gathering in his eyes as he stormed closer to Jimmy. He kept advancing, and Jimmy wasn't able to scramble away in time before Scott slapped him across the face.

"When has it ever been about us?!" Scott got out in a shallow sob, suddenly seeming much meeker than before. Jimmy could only hold his stinging cheek in shock as he stared at Scott.

Luckily Jimmy didn't have to say anything, as Tango rushed in. Pearl was lagging behind him, still looking so distant from the Pearl that Jimmy had known… he was beginning to wonder if he had really known anyone at all, with how today was going.

Tango glanced around frantically, eyes finally landing on Jimmy’s hand holding his cheek. He took Jimmy into his arms, his eyes blazing red as he glared at Scott.

"Don't you ever touch my soulmate again, you hear me? And I'm taking Pearl with me, and you're gonna leave us alone, clear?" Tango growled, flames licking at his limbs (but the fire stayed away from Jimmy, he noticed with a flutter) and threatening to set the wooden house ablaze.

"Crystal," Scott replied evenly, eyes cold as ice (and that just made Jimmy’s heart ache even more- he remembered a Scott like that with ice in his eyes, words and touch).

Tango and Scott glared at each other for a few moments, until Tango seemed satisfied and he turned to leave. Jimmy lingered for a moment, staring at Scott with a heartbroken expression, before Tango gently tugged him along. Pearl followed the pair of soulmates like a ghost, tossing one faraway glance at Scott before she left the house with them.

-

The walk back to the ranch was eerily quiet. Even Tilly, who they stopped to pick up from Pearl’s base area, seemed unusually quiet for a dog.

“I brought her back to life, y’know,” Pearl said, breaking the silence. Jimmy jumped a little when she spoke.

“Uhh… what?” he asked.

“Yeah, she died. But it’s okay, cause I brought her back! So I guess she’s on yellow now,” Pearl said, the cheeriness in her voice throwing Jimmy off a little. Thankfully, Tango swooped in with a reply.

“Guess that means you can bring back any animals that die at the ranch!” Tango said with a grin.

“I can sure try! Honestly don’t know if I can do it again- I just was sad and lonely when Tilly died, and all I could think about is how I didn’t want to be alone again. I just wanted her back- and then she perked right up!” Pearl said, something… otherworldly creeping into her voice before turning cheery once again. Jimmy had only heard that tone with her a few times before… maybe it was a mistake bringing one of them into the ranch. On the other hand, a Watcher wasn’t a bad ally to have.

“Well, you don’t need to be lonely anymore. You’ve got us,” Jimmy said softly. Pearl stopped in her place, just a few feet away from the ranch’s gate.

“Promise?” she asked, voice fragile. Jimmy held out his arms to her with a smile.

“Promise,” Jimmy said, and that was all Pearl needed to leap into his arms and hug him tightly. Tango exchanged a mildly concerned look with Jimmy over her head, likely concerned about Pearl’s explanation of Tilly’s revival. Jimmy just gave him a reassuring smile. They wouldn’t regret bringing Pearl in. Probably.

-

After getting Pearl properly settled in (she took quite a liking to the goats, and volunteered her time to breeding them and getting their horns), Jimmy was positively exhausted. The day had been more exhausting than it should have been, and Jimmy settled heavily on the edge of his bed with a long exhale. He buried his face in his hands, but still registered Tango walking into their room.

"How are you doing?" Tango asked softly. Jimmy let out a trembling sigh, hand rubbing at where Scott had struck him, even if the sting from the hit was long gone.

"Is it alright if I don't know?" Jimmy said meekly. Tango gave a pitying frown, and sat down next to Jimmy on the bed. He gently pulled Jimmy’s hand away from his face, squeezing it tightly.

"Of course it's alright if you don't know, that was… a lot," Tango soothed. Jimmy let out a shuddering sigh, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand.

"I just… he's so different. Even on worlds where we weren't- uh, together, he was always my friend. And he's been snarky and teasing and stuff before but- but nothing like this," Jimmy managed to get out wetly. Tango gave a sympathetic hum, leaning over to press his lips to Jimmy’s brow. Jimmy involuntarily followed him when he pulled his head away, and with a rumbling huff of laughter Tango pulled him to lean against his chest. His hand rubbed over Jimmy’s back, gentle touches between his wings.

"Y'know, Grian was… weird after that first world too. I didn't hang around him much on Hermitcraft, but he was definitely distant. Agitated too. And that kinda transferred into the next iteration of this- you would know, you were in the Southlands with him. So I guess… the isolation of being the sole survivor of a death game does something to people. No wonder this world has us connected to someone. We don't have to survive alone," Tango said after a few beats of silence. Jimmy turned over what Tango had said in his head, and thought about Scott on Empires, and in that strange realm between realms where they would reincarnate into something else each time they died. Scott had seemed normal on Empires… but that other realm was where things had really begun to change. And really, they had all changed after Empires.

"I guess an apocalyptic event doesn't help either," Jimmy said a little guiltily. Tango's hand paused, a burning (thankfully not in the literal sense) touch between his wings.

"What do you mean?" Tango asked, and if Jimmy hadn't been so lost in painful memories, he would have noticed the tremble in his voice.

"On Empires, there was a big explosion that I sort of caused. And that explosion caused a whole chain of events to set off, and the world ended. We all lost things that day. I think Scott lost more than he let on- honestly it was after that world that I really noticed a change in Scott," Jimmy explained.

"I see," Tango said softly, hand resuming its motion, a gentle pressure at the base of Jimmy’s wings. Jimmy let out an involuntary pleased chirp, melting in Tango's hold. Tango gave an answering little rumble, and Jimmy felt at peace for a moment. That is, until an ugly series of thoughts came rearing back at him.

“Tango?” Jimmy asked, voice meek and soft again.

“Yeah?” Tango replied, and his voice was warm and welcoming and home- and that thought of home was Jimmy’s final breaking point. Because Scott was home once. But now Tango was home to him too.

“I think I’m still in love with him,” Jimmy got out through a sob, curling into Tango while he still could, until he was inevitably shoved away. Because he couldn’t be in love with Scott- not anymore. He and Tango were soulmates now.

But Tango didn’t push him away. If anything, Tango held him tighter, and a hand drifted up to run through Jimmy’s hair. Jimmy just sobbed a little harder, unsure as to why he was still being treated so gently. He swallowed nervously, pulling away a bit to look up at Tango.

“But- but I shouldn’t be. Cause we’re soulmates,” Jimmy managed to get out. Tango looked down at him with a perplexed frown.

“Jimmy… I have multiple partners, remember?” Tango said slowly. Jimmy blinked up at him incomprehensibly.

“What?” he asked, voice distant. Tango cursed a little under his breath, hand leaving Jimmy’s hair to rub the back of his own neck sheepishly.

“Ah. I thought you knew- kinda forgot you aren’t on Hermitcraft. But yeah, Impulse and Zedaph are my partners too. So it’d be kinda dumb of me to not be okay with you wanting another partner- and to be honest, I went into this thinking you and Scott were still an item,” Tango said with a nervous laugh. Jimmy flushed a bit at Tango thinking he and Scott were still together, but he was a bit more busy with reeling from the new information Tango gave him.

“Wait, that’s an option? Being with more than one person?” Jimmy asked, dumbfounded. Tango let out a light laugh.

“Of course it is- but if you’d rather it’d just be you and me, that’s fine too. I’d have to talk things over with Impulse- we usually keep our relationship open during these sorts of things, but I’m sure he’d be fine if we did things differently this go-around-”

“No! I mean- I- I’m okay with it,” Jimmy blurted. Tango looked at Jimmy with mild concern.

“Are you sure? Because it’s totally okay if you just want it to be me and you. You don’t even have to pursue anything with Scott if it’s too much to deal with,” Tango offered. Jimmy shook his head.

“No, I’m sure. Although… I don’t know if things are really looking great with Scott right now anyway,” Jimmy sighed. To Jimmy’s surprise, Tango flushed a little.

“Yeah, I did kinda give him a piece of my mind, huh,” he said sheepishly. Jimmy laughed humorlessly.

“Things were already going downhill with me and Scott. I doubt you made much of a difference,” Jimmy said, refusing to meet Tango’s gaze. Tango just pulled him back against his chest, running a hand through his hair again.

“Still. I feel bad. And I swear to you I’ll help you mend things with Scott, if that’s what you really want,” Tango said firmly. Jimmy looked up at Tango with wide eyes.

“Really?” he asked, voice small and disbelieving.

“Really. Unless he keeps slapping you around- although I guess if you want that we could talk it out…” Tango trailed off with a smirk. Jimmy squeaked, face going red.

“Oh my gosh I have a type,” Jimmy managed to get out, voice strained. This time it was Tango’s turn for his face to flush as he made a flustered sound.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Tango got out with a startled laugh.

“Scott would’ve said something similar,” Jimmy said, voice going soft and wistful. Even if he was reminiscing about his ex-husband making dirty jokes and innuendos.

“Okay yeah that’s it, I am definitely helping you two get back together. You’ve got it so bad for him,” Tango teased. Jimmy honest to goodness giggled, burying his face in Tango’s chest again. He missed the warm, fond smile Tango gave at the sound because of it, but he got the jist of it through Tango’s rumbling hum and the way he held him close. Things felt uncertain, with the tension between himself and Scott, as well as Pearl living on the ranch with them now- but somehow, in this moment? Jimmy felt like everything would work out.

-

general mcyt fic taglist: @actuallymothman @corazon10000 @damiensaidno @franticfandomfanatic @gattonero17 @hetapeep41 @meowdy-pickles @space-ace123 @vyeoh

[butmakeitgayblog]

When you have an AU idea in your head… how do you get it to become more than just, “oh, that’s a neat concept it should be Clexafied” to fleshing it out into an actual thing? I have tiny ideas or like a general ‘I want to see them in such and such context’ but that’s where it ends. 😞 i’d like to write something for the fandom but yeah…dunno how to get there.

Oof well I may not be the best option to pick because I really have no idea what I'm doing, I'm just wingin it lol but idrk. I guess for me personally when I get an idea for a story I like I start mentally trying to evolve it in my head? Sometimes it's easier than others, sometimes the thoughts/plot points/scenes just build themselves.

I don't think I'm describing this well.

Ok so for example, professor au. The initial thought came from an ask about a teacher/student fic rec that got me thinking about how cool it would be to see that trope flipped on its head. Older professor and older student having a secret affair. So I thought about what that would look like, what their challenges would be. Then I started thinking about the characters. What personalities do they have? Who are they as people outside of this situation? How would all this bring them together? What would happen to make them fall in love?

I just kinda start doing it, granted subconsciously, because when I get an idea for something the creative juices kinda just start taking over and then it's like one thought leads to the next that leads to the next in rapid fire. So it was like "Ooo hot older professor Lexa.... Milf Clarke.... what would that look like... divorced mom with a teen kid... jaded but, not broken. She's too tough for that.... that's why she's returning to college... she's feisty... she likes a challenge... she's in a place in her life where she wants to be more daring. To push herself beyond her boring life.... And then there's professor Lexa... nerdy type.... maybe standoffish?... no, no. She puts on a front with students. She's lonely, but she presents herself as ok. Distant, but friendly. The type where you realize you've had her for 7 classes over 4 years and yet you don't really know anything about her. But. She's a teacher who inspires her students to work. Makes them want to work hard to please her. They want to follow her word and guidance... so there's these two personality types that meet in the atmosphere of the classroom, one looking to challenge her students and another looking to be challenged.... where would that lead them? What challenges will they face? How would this relationship evolve? How would they deal with the idea of their attraction vs the social taboos and regulations surrounding their situation? Personally how would they deal with it?" And then literally I just think about what they would do in various scenarios. Things like what would their first kiss be like? Their first time admitting feelings? Would they let themselves cross there boundary of sex at school? What about meeting Madi? Etc.

Am I making any sense?

I guess what I'm saying is, when you have an idea, actively try and unfold it. Dig into, and as you do the story kind of comes to you in bits and pieces until eventually you start to realize that you have plot points and character nuance and holy fuck there's a story here

At least that's how it is for me. Other writers with other processes are very much welcome to jump on this post with their thoughts and methods

[cadybear420]

Hi! I love your edits! You're doing god's work editing these men in the fem outfits, they all look so good! Also I agree 💯% with your frustrations about all the LIs having "sculpted abs", it's so lazy and boring. I think we should at least get to pick bodytype for the MC to be honest. Anyway! You said you were bored and you wanted asks. I don't know much about your main fandom and LI, but I'd love to hear some of your headcanons about the LI experimenting and exploring with fem outfits, if you'd like to talk about it! I'm a newcomer to your blog so Idk of you have written about it before. Have a lovely day!

OMG Thank you thank you thank you so much! I'm glad you love them <3

I kinda understand why having bodytype options for MC might be a bit more difficult since you have to make different versions of each outfit, but even then it's not something they're incapable of doing. I mean they basically had that in BOLAS to an extent. At least have bodytype-neutral writing for the MCs, why can't they just say "stomach" instead of "abs" or "waist" instead of "curves"?

And even with that in mind, it should at least be much easier to have different bodytypes for LIs since you're not going to customize it.

Anyways for the actual question, I do have some headcanons about m!LIs and a few m!MCs trying fem outfits (and vice versa). I don't have many headcanons about Cas, Gabe, Drew, Jordan, and OH m!MC since they're not characters I'm very attatched to despite the edits I made for them, but...

Aiden: Aiden's interest in exploring with outfit mainly comes from hanging around his girlfriend Evie, AKA my HSS MC who is a very openly GNC woman. He especially takes interest in stuff like crop tops and short shorts and later leg-slit dresses– he's at first a bit embarrassed about them but grows to like how he looks in them. Not to mention he has a bit of a thing for receiving praise/attention from Evie, and wearing those sort of outfits gets him a lot of compliments from her. Later on he does become more interested in wearing dresses and even wears a gown when he and Evie get married.

Michael: [tw: abuse discussion] I have a headcanon that Michael had an abusive father who pushed him into super masculine things and actively shamed him for any feminine things he liked. So I think he likes dressing fem sometimes partly because he enjoys dressing in them to be flirty, and partly because they give him more confidence and are a kind of a "fuck you" to his dad. He's especially partial to 80s-style crop top fits.

Ajay: It takes him a bit longer to try and explore fem clothing, but the first time he tries a crop top is when they're in Paris during the Spotlite trip. He and Cher (my HSS:CA MC who is more fem-leaning genderfucky) are going on a double date with Aiden and Evie and he takes interest in it from Aiden.

Tyler: Dressing in fem clothing I think is something he does enjoy from time to time, but doesn't do much of because those other jock assholes who pick on him. Becoming close to Peggy, AKA my MAH MC who is futch, and seeing her defend him from those other jock assholes does make him start to feel more comfortable with it.

Bryce: I haven't played past OH 1 and I'm kind of on hiatus for my replay of the book, but we all know he would be very open to trying fem outfits. Despite his in-game wardrobe, he is definitely the type who would love to go strutting around in a crop top and short shorts. I don't think this should even count as headcanon cause it's something he'd 100% do in canon if PB weren't cowards lol. He'd definitely wear the crop top Nighthawks baseball outfit.

Liam: My MC Lew has very GNC tastes in clothing/appearance. She does occasionally enjoy wearing the big fancy ballgowns, but both she and Liam agree that they look much better when they're tried and fitted onto him. I haven't yet played past TRR 2 Ch 1 but I'm considering swapping their wedding outfits. And their sexy underwears, because the "sexy underwear" they gave to Liam is so lazyyyyyilw

Alan Kim AKA my HSS m!MC: I haven't done a playthrough with him yet, but in an alternate universe of mine exists my HSS m!MC. He's just as much of a proud GNC guy as Evie is a proud GNC gal. A lot of his wardrobe consists of some of the HSS f!MC's outfits that I am in the process of editing.

Cedric Zhao AKA my ILW MC: I haven't yet played ILW, but I'm making my ILW MC a very proudly GNC guy. His default outfit is that one crop top outfit, his formal outfit is the leg slit dress option, his default underwear is that one lingerie outfit. Yes, all of those outfits are indeed existing outfits in the ILW game for a male/masc MC, because PB COULD NEVERRRRRR