#it was payment but it was more than that. a selfless act out of care for them

[impossible-rat-babies]

I wanna like. gpose eyrie and zero

[arctophyllax]

*clears throat* why I think Larian should let us recruit Zevlor:

More people are desperate for Zevlor than I thought at first. We all want to see him happy. We all want him to get all that he deserves and more. He just has SO much potential, he’s such a well written character just for his story to get cut off so suddenly? Thinking about how badly his story was neglected by Larian after they made us so attached breaks my heart. Of all side characters we met along the acts he is undeniably one of the most important and memorable ones; we fought for him, we saved him, we helped him, hells we even get the option to reject his payment for us for helping him and his people.

We practically got nothing out of helping him, especially the ones who reject his payments and i find myself rejecting the payment every single playthrough because i can’t find it in my heart to take something away from people who have nothing left already. If you betray the tieflings you get Minthara- and yes that may cost you certain companions too, but wouldn’t it be fair to be able to have Zevlor at camp if we save his people? At least after we save him in act 2? That way it would still be optional but god I need him so badly, I need to see him happy, I need Larian to let me look after him and take care of him and make sure that he doesn’t drown in sorrow and I know everyone who reads this feels exactly the same.

He went through so much, and every time his hope returned it got shattered to bits again. And it just feels like we’re forced to “give up” on him after we let him wander away in act 2. It doesn’t feel right. It will never feel right. We saw how miserable he was in that pod, how distressed and in pain he was. Common sense would have told us to take him with us. Make sure he fucking survives the night without doing anything stupid. Clean him off the blood and clean him off his worries, all that self hatred.

God, do I so hate to see him in such distress. And while a tiny part of me believes that death might have actually been a small mercy for him I was and will never be ready to give up on him.

Every time I see him on that damned screen, every time he speaks and every time I witness him interact with someone I DON’T see an oathbreaker who failed his people and had to be saved from being consumed by the Absolute. All I see is a competent leader who carries a burden not meant to be carried by one person alone.

This has nothing to do with him being weak. This has nothing to to with him being incompetent or not careful enough. This has nothing to do with any lost faith or broken oath. This has to do with the fact that he is so selfless that he wouldn’t allow himself to share this burden with anyone.

Yes he has (had?) his fellow tieflings, he has Tilses right beside him all of the time. But did he ever open up to her? Does he ever accept any help from his own people while he knows that they are already suffering? Would he EVER allow ANY of these people to carry even a SLIVER of his burden?

No. He would not. He would NEVER let them bear any of those duties, he has seen them in way too much pain already, seen them suffer far too often.

He is the type who gives and gives and gives and he never takes. He doesn’t know how to take, take anything positive.

His past, his comrades, his Hellriders- yes he had them. They gave him as much as he gave them. But they got torn away from him, cruelly and mercilessly.

His people, the refugees, family- he had them. And they gave him the respect and admiration he deserved. But they got torn away from him. Cruelly. Mercilessly.

His saviour, us, Tav- he had us. But we left him. Because we had no choice. We watched him walk of as though it was nothing. Cruelly. Because we could do nothing else.

And yes, I will always see red at that. Because we SHOULD be able to do better. We shouldn’t be just another loss for him.

And I will personally fistfight Larian if it meant hope for just a single chance at giving Zevlor what he never allowed himself to have: stability, encouragement. Someone he can rely on and share his burden with. A rest. Peace.

(Larian do you hear me I am under your bed we are going to fight)

(Scratch would like him to stay at camp, too)

(And what Scratch wants, Scratch gets. Right?)

(No because when you talk to Scratch the second time at camp during the tiefling party he actually says that he wouldn’t mind if you kept the tieflings at camp… trust me, Scratch, i wouldn’t mind either)

…I’d honestly die for him who’s with me

[anthonybialy]

Retiring Social Security

Ensuring retirement is as miserable as working years is government’s gift to elders.  All involved parties seem a bit too happy about it.  The ultimate entitlement is ultimately bankrupting the nation they claim to love.  It’s America, by the way.

An unwieldy tax that can’t cover unfathomable debt needed to dollop out a monthly pittance that keeps allegedly free people reliant upon a government unable to do anything worthwhile with seized funds is helpful for illustrating how dreadful everything coerced is.  Try to retain this information before retirement.

It’s different when Washington assured them an allowance.  Erstwhile whippersnappers behaved their best and earned their driveway shoveling money.  Empty lockboxes shouldn’t be a surprise, yet paranoid Woodstock attendees are shocked that their stashes got raided.

It’s adorable to think they were not only pledged something by the government but that it will be fulfilled.  They paid in and can’t believe they won’t be paid out.  Asking what contract they signed will only infuriate them.  Darth Vader didn’t change terms as arbitrarily as your government.  At least he was upfront about joining the Dark Side.

This particular generation of quitters due to age doing the opposite of caring for the next in that very selfless manner for which they’re renowned.  A lousy example to avoid is only so valuable.  Rebelling against self-involved parasites is inadvertently the best parenting.  Brats have to strike out on their own after their oh so responsible parents blew tuition money on whatever Eagles were presently on tour.

All-time Boomer Donald Trump promises to keep sustaining Social Security if he seduces his way into a second con job as part of his endless commitment to preserving conservatism.  The alleged retirement program is no worse investment than his real estate portfolio.  Social Security is as foolish as buying his costly rotgut vodka.  Peddling Mister Boston quality at Stoli prices shows why Trump is so eager to get rehired for his government job.  Someone who makes alleged fortunes disappear naturally embrace the geezer dole.

A gullible government fan is going to be president either by retaining, re-seizing, or swooping in to the presidency.  We have so many options.  By contrast, people who want to work hard have no chance at avoiding apocalyptic debt all to enable stocking up on Werther’s.  Another postponement of paying America’s credit card bill will surely drive down interest.

The worst part of pretending the Financial Grim Reaper isn’t making PayPal requests is how much better finances will be for all involved after the meltdown.  Removing the payroll tax will compensate for far more than the meager checks on the way, especially since the amounts are rapidly dwindling to zero.  And that’s before inflation.

Try buying groceries with a pledge.  Your rulers offer the opposite of a guarantee despite what they’ve claimed.  I can’t believe arbiters of laws are able to disregard the very standards they impose on reality.

This would be a good time to start noticing patterns.  An even better time is about half a century ago.  Investing faith in politicians is supposed to be reassuring, according to seduced enrollees who thought they were investing in a 401(k).   Play cards with anyone who presumes government wouldn’t break a law, much less a promise.

It apparently needs to be said that a federal retirement plan embodies to opposite of conservatism.  The same sort of people who think Trump is a fearless truth-teller act like the payment they get is the one small-government exception.

Like with money disappearing faster than it’s replaced, the description has no effect on the outcome.  Calling an ultimate income shift the emblematic liberal program is the furthest thing from a compliment possible.  Calling it conservative because you’re forced to pay in is as sad as pretending the charlatan who tells them what they want to hear is the last honest man.

But that’s my money.  Sure, it’s not technically.  Regardless, the cash commandeering program results in one temporarily giant then quickly dwindling pile.  Aspiring retirees think the revenue ripoff applies to everything except what checks arrive in their particular mailboxes.  An newfangled internet money transfer could be stolen, claim old-timers who let Washington steal at will.

It’s not just that the government failed to invest for you.  They let it sit there in their federal style until they needed to subsidize industries in vulnerable congresspeople’s districts three seconds later.  It’s not that nice to have an emblematic example of how not to save.

Some people rely on a ripoff, so the fleecing can’t be halted.  We couldn’t phase out the three-card monte table or anything so future doomed participants can skip playing.  The radical notion of letting people decide to keep their money is not presently law, and nothing is more important than precedent.

Oh, it’s just dooming the nation.  Illustrating the perilous folly of waiting to avoid aiming the tires toward the cliff means the edge approaches.  Careening is FDR’s old New Deal bad deal.  Overreach in response to panic naturally worsened the outlook, but maybe cutting the brakes will get us there faster.

Weening off the addiction will get harder the longer the wait is before hitting rock bottom.  Handout junkies are just like anyone else hooked on something that sounds appealing but ultimately harms.  Those in question crave something as pernicious, namely the idea that their needs will be met by the most negligent caretaker imaginable.

Doing something useful with money from work sounds like more work.  But the opportunity to choose is better than letting federal deadbeats mooch from the pile.  Alleged beneficiaries could take what was seized from them and invest it.  Look up what a mutual fund is.  Heck: deposit the same sum in a bank.  Unlike your alleged federal rainy day fund, you’ll actually have access to it no matter the weather.

The sum in question will only decrease in value if one particular senior citizen who doubles as executive continues to try to make everyone rich by handing out dough.  We could’ve learned a lesson.  Many people did.  Sadly, it’s the wrong one.  The urge to exclaim “Gimme!” is always strong even though we all know deep down nothing is free.

Naming something doesn’t make it adhere to the words, which confuses liberals who wonder why acting didn’t give them affordable care.  East Germany wasn’t democratic, while we’re at it.

The retirement Ponzi scheme is supposed to provide security as indicated by the name.  Aside from doing the precise opposite for America and its retirees, it’s done so.  Buying private label saltines is nobody’s dream for the personal post-work era.  A program that’s insecure and antisocial.  Being forced to mingle with others is bad enough, and doing so with paychecks makes it even worse.

[orchidrene]

What kind of people do you attract+ find yourself being attracted to?

Please check out my paid services if you enjoy this reading. DM for donations and paid readings (payment accepted in WorldRemit (requires a small transfer fee), Google pay and Paytm. Every penny is appreciated. Also feel free to choose multiple piles for this one :). Also your feedback makes me really happy <3.

Note: before some engenes attack me, I see Jay to be more than just a meme, his thoughts and wise words have made me think a lot about the way I view life and has helped me have a more positive yet realistic approach towards life. I'm posting this lego whisper meme only because the pick up line sounds weirdly funny. I'll still remove it if you feel like Jay would be uncomfortable with me using this picture though.

Pile 1

What kind of people do you attract?

I feel like hardworking people are attracted to you, they might be the type to overwork. People who are different from you in their approach to decision making, either you're logical and they're intuitive or vice versa. People who are attracted to you might have gone through a recent or long standing heartbreak. People who might cling onto the memories that hurt them. Might be people who are like "I don't believe in love or fate" just to come across you. You are like a new chance to them. You definitely attract people who take you a little for granted though. They might have the "they're in love with me, they'll never abandon me or get over me" kind of attitude. It is kind of a sad energy though 🗿 they take you for granted so they might date someone else while treating you like you're their partner 💀. My playlist was on shuffle and 'unconditionally' by Katy Perry started playing, I feel like they feel like you would love them regardless of them acting like a douche and treating you like shit. I'm also getting 'dandelion' by Ruth B energy. They feel like your dream is to only have you as theirs and that you could do anything for them. You've surely got a lot of charms considering the fact that you can make people feel so special. It's like they know that you look only for reasons to stick around them even if they keep on hurting you. It's like they could friendzone you and you'll be like "they chose to friendzone me." I feel like they have an illusion that they are totally in control of you which makes them take you for granted. They do care about your feelings though, I'm not even sure as to why they treat you this way. I feel like they feel a piece of them missing when you finally choose to leave them though, you might be someone with genuinely pure emotions causing them to not even being able to hate you and plus it's their fault for not giving you the treatment that you deserve. These people will hold a special place for you in their hearts, forever. (Mostly because they're like "what if I had actually treated them well? What would we become?" You might not even end up dating most of them.

What kind of people do you find yourself being attracted to?

People who can speak without fear? Express themselves and their opinions in an effortless manner. People who are headstrong and know how to make judgement without bias. Self controlled individuals, the type of people who might have a bit of a bad boy/bad girl vibe? If not, just someone who knows how to accept their flaws. Someone who looks cold but is selfless and an unconditional and sweet lover, only for you. Someone loyal and committed. Someone who has eyes and heart only for you. Someone who is kind of emotional? You might like the idea of them crying on your shoulders, trusting you with their emotions and being vulnerable with you. People who might have a lot of people that like them 💀. '505' by Arctic Monkeys is playing, someone you might've liked might listen to artists like Arctic Monkeys, The neighbourhood, Chase Atlantic, etc. People who are a bit pessimistic and hard to open up so you can fill their lives with joy. People that make you feel more creative, confident and happy. Someone who's so attractive that they make you question your own worth. You might be into slow burn but fast and fiery passion. People who unexpectedly enter your life and make it worth living, like a knight in shining armour. Someone who feels like home and can take care of themselves. People who might roast you once in a while and get angry (only at you) but their anger melts away instantly because they have a soft spot on you. Not gonna lie but you might romanticize and be more comfortable with getting hurt. 💀 Maybe you read angst books on Wattpad all day to cry your eyes out or keep on thinking back on past memories while listening to music to forcefully feel the nostalgia. Someone who might inflate or hurt your ego.

Pile 2

What kind of people do you attract?

'Clarity' by Zedd, Foxes is playing. People who are a bit codependent. They want to find their other halves. They are very ride or die though. Hopeless romantics too. They might push people away when they feel like they're depending too much on them emotionally though 💀. Someone who turns cold and becomes a whole different person after pushing you away. People who will never really be able to move on from you. Very nostalgic people. People who like being hurt even though they hate it🕳️👩🏾‍🦯. People who will always care about you even after pushing you away. People who will keep tabs on you. People who have a hard time staying in a healthy relationship, people who are used to tough love and unhealthy relationships. The type to spend the night with you, doing nothing sexual but just talking about life after 4 years of them pushing you away, but trying their best to avoid you from the next day even though they're totally in love with you. They will eventually choose to trust you though. Someone who spends time walking through memories. Someone who really validates you and take cares of everything that you want and need though. Ride or die kind of people. People who need to work through their childhood trauma. People who will forever be grateful to you for teaching them how to love themselves. People who end up laughing or crying while simply just thinking about you. People who tend to live in fantasies, people with the purest intentions. People who have recently gotten out of a relationship? People who push you away because they don't trust themselves, people who might feel like they'll end up hurting you and that you deserve better. Many of your Instagram followers might be attracted to you. The type of people who come off a bit more of the unreachable bad boy/girl types.

What kind of people do you find yourself being attracted to?

You are attracted to people who would do anything for you and people who make you feel like you'd do anything for them too. The type to have a dreamy aura, someone ethereal and otherworldly. People who might be more quiet but still popular, mysterious people to say the least. People who have a good sense of style. People who come into your life when it's falling apart and fill it with happiness, replacing every bit of pain with their love. People who might be similar to you. People who you like so much, you can't help but think about them, be curious about them, the type where you can't resist them no matter how much you try to. Someone who you know would do anything for you. You're into people who you know can't resist your charms. People with a calm and comforting aura. People who know how to comfort others, wise people who overanalyze things and add meaning to literally anything and everything. People who you can read but can't read at the same time. People who spam your phone with texts. People who you know won't give up on you. People who look at the sky while thinking about you. People who consider you while making decisions. People who give you space while patiently waiting. People who might come off extremely detached. People who appreciate you enough to stick with you for a long time or people who don't even acknowledge your existence. People who might elevate you socially, intellectually and emotionally. Someone who you can explore with. Nurturing people who are very understanding towards you. People with common sense. People who care about other people's opinions. People who feel like home. You might be attracted to people with very significant virgo placements, people who are very critical of themselves. People who are in touch with their intuition. Someone who's out of touch with people around them, the popular loner, shy but popular, unreachable but humble person.

Pile 3

What kind of people do you attract?

The kind of people you attract tend to have extremely moderate views on life. People who don't have the strongest opinions. People who walk the middle path. Individuals who are really balanced on their approach to life. People who are content and successful. People who usually have a lot of wealth. People who are good at communicating and love wholeheartedly. People who can express themselves very well. Your friends 💀. People who make really good friends and are blessed with really great friendships. People who celebrate their friends and their own success in a very grand yet intimate manner. People who have been greatly affected by the past events. People who are really influenced by memories even though they try to be balanced. People who choose not to live in the past but instead take from it to build a better future. People who might be clingy towards their significant other. People who spend their energy and time well. People who are publicly recognized. People who tend to isolate themselves and restrict themselves from spending, feeling or being clingy. 'The lovers' came up so I interpret them to be a hopeless romantic. People who might usually not make moves towards the people they like? Fair people who can accept their flaws and faults. You might be like their safe space, you might feel like rest after a long day of work (I think I said it in another pile too.) They might feel safe and relaxed around you. Usually lucky people who tend to get new opportunities as soon as they leave old situations. They will probably not make moves 💀. Usually people with Scorpio placements. People who have a lot of information on others even though they don't really gossip. Someone with a really adorable laugh. "All I wanna do is get good with you." Lol someone with a similar aura to Jay Park's song "all I wanna do." People who have gone through transformations. People who might avoid people from the past.

What kind of people do you find yourself being attracted to?

People who might be in need of help, people who are insecure, tend to overthink and isolate themselves. Overworkers who have gone through a lot but drown themselves into work to distract themselves instead of healing. Someone who doesn't follow their own heart but doesn't follow others' advice either. Someone who exercises self control. Someone decisive, someone who stands up against injustice. Someone who can channel their impulse and insecurities into action and determination. People who are of authority. People who can make decisions without prejudice. People who are clear thinking and just leaders who don't don't partake in favoritism. Someone with unbalanced emotions. People who mentor you. People who build themselves through the past mistakes that they've made. People who are starting a new phase but quite not there. Assertive people with a lot of willpower. People who make you feel like something new is starting. People who are different from you in some sense or the other. People who make you feel the excitement because it's an unpredictable kind of relationship (like not even you had thought that you would end up liking someone like them.) People who you can help by helping them get out of their restrictive and cautious thought process to be more open to receiving and giving love. People who help you stay more happy. People who might get caught up in their heads so you can help them make clear and useful decisions. People who you give hope and vice versa. Someone who you can teach to be less controlling and make them feel relaxed. You're into loners who enjoy working by themselves. People who will definitely treat you special. You might have a capricorn moon or Venus or 11th house Venus.

Pile 4

What kind of people do you attract?

People who are a bit more on the selfish side, people who know how to take care of themselves and put themselves first. People who aren't very fair, people who definitely have favorites and are partial. People who tend to take time out to themselves very often. People who deny their own emotions, people who act different from how they actually feel. People who are confident. People who have been through a lot and have a lot of knowledge. People who respect themselves. Their perspective might be different from most people but it makes a lot of sense. Might have aquarius/capricorn placements. Independent thinkers, people with a lot of mental clarity. People who can speak their minds without fear. People with complex personalities. Nurturing people when they open up to love and trust you. People who care a lot about your well being. Warm people when they care about you. People who might be a bit naive when it comes to dating, people who see a very idealized version of you. People who are open to trying out new ideas and possess a child like curiousity when it comes to life. People who choose to stick with the same people when it comes to social settings. People who have a hard time making decisions but take time with them, very careful and reflective people when it comes to making decisions. People who might confuse you a bit. People who have the ability to create something out of nothing. People who tend to give you mixed signals. People who know how abrupt endings feel. People who take endings very gracefully. People who tend to reminisce a lot. People who try to remain focused but at the same time struggle a lot with it. Intellectual people who carefully analyze situations and people, people who tend to look for the long term but leave if they don't feel the spark. People with grand ideas for their future. People who naturally attract leadership roles. People who know how to create opportunities out of loss. People who are visionaries.

What kind of people do you find yourself being attracted to?

You are attracted to people who cherish and give you a lot without making it obvious, actions are louder than words kinda people. People who will take your side even behind your back, loyal people. People who teach you a lot, also people you can teach something to. People who might hurt you a bit. People who make you think a lot about your mistakes, people who come into your life when it's falling apart and make you feel cared for. People who make you feel calm and peaceful while still making you feel butterflies, people who accompany you during your healing phase. People who give you a sense of security while still letting you stay free enough. People who make you see new sides of yourself. You might have a cancer, pisces or leo Venus. People who have some kind of spiritual views. People who create a lot of illusions and people who you can't help but fantasize about in a sweet way. People who will never get over you and vice versa, might be people that you never end up dating. People who you face a lot of obstacles with. People who make you feel hopeful. People who might have aquarius/sagittarius placements. Someone who you can idolize while still not dehumanizing. People who might take care of you when you physically end up hurting yourself. People that are social but introverted and tend to disappear for months just to appear out of nowhere again. People who make you feel a bit uncertain, like you might unnecessarily overthink the situation and not be sure as to whether or not they ever liked you back. People who are actually pretty critical of themselves and push you to be better. You might be a critical person too, you might expect a lot in relationships and they tend to be so different from all that you imagined but still make you feel really satisfied. People who heighten your standards. People who have a soft spot for you. You might enjoy the sexual tension you feel between each other. I'm getting you feeling like they like you back, them actually liking you back but never expressing it verbally and might actually roast you a bit but still treat you special and would do anything for you. You both still looking for each other in social settings but not expressing your romantic feelings anymore. Someone you're acquaintances with and flirt with in an awkward manner but still feel really close to. I'm getting slow burn. 3rd house Mars synastry might be significant. "You right" by Doja Cat might explain a lot.

[crazy4myself]

No Harm List | Pt. 12

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: mafia au, fluff, violence

Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy’s life, not knowing that he is one of the most powerful crime lord’s heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: violence, alcohol, mention of drugs, borderline smut

Wordcount: 10.3k+

Beta reader: @punkisnotdead2318

A/N: So I thought I posted this last week but it didnt work! so lets try this again! Please like, comment, and reblog!

Masterlist

------

J-Hope was on the seventh floor of the Lumi hotel along the main street of Alcor’s garden district. He watched through the sight on his gun as bright-colored convertibles inched by for the parade. The streets were packed, lined with masses of people cheering and begging for shiny, free plastic to be tossed their way. 

“Three minutes until showtime.” Suga’s voice buzzed in the earpiece.

“Got it,” J-Hope said as he adjusted the long-range gun on his shoulder, waiting for the red convertible, containing his target, to inch a little closer. He was a large pot-bellied man with a winning smile and immaculately styled hair. Yet, despite his handsome, aging face, even from a distance, J-Hope could see how his blue eyes gleamed with greed.  

J-Hope had thoroughly built his notorious reputation as one of the best sharpshooters in Alcor, possibly the entire nation of Kros, over the years and was often hired out to do work outside of BTS for other organizations and politicians. 

He’s selective about what missions he accepts. He learned his lesson after he lost his sister, and since then, he built his trade with care. Taking the time to understand his clients and their motives. J-Hope learned the hard way what it cost to be a mindless soldier behind a gun and what happens when the family members of his more dangerous victims seek revenge. He has sworn never again to make the mistake of pulling the trigger under unquestioned orders. He would not let one of his loved ones face the consequences of his actions. Even the transactions of his payments are more secure than they were before to ensure theirs no trail for anyone to follow back to his trigger. He requires the payment to be made in advance through the Bulletproof casino. The hefty sum is loitered through the business to prevent any evidence from being traced back to him or his family. 

After some intensive research, J-Hope couldn’t deny that he was excited about the mission RM gave him. It was ideal. He was making a scene but causing no loss of life. 

Tate Hyde was a local asshole politician, worried about his re-election since an opposing smear campaign against him had gained traction in Alcor. After dubbing him “tater tot,” his approval rates and ego have both deflated, so he hired out J-Hope to make a ‘public attempt on his life’ during a parade celebrating the opening of the new school.

‘Tater tot’ thinks being attacked during one of his few selfless acts will stir up some good press. 

Luckily, J-Hope’s pay wasn’t dependent upon the outcome of the public's reaction or re-election. 

“One minute,” Suga’s voice crackled in his ear.

J-hope asked “Did you take down the cameras?” 

While a scene like this is staged, it’s for nothing if it doesn’t seem real. And lucky for BTS, stirring up some trouble in the Garden District would take some heat off of BTS, or at least spread the cops thin, turning their focus on protecting local politicians and, as a result, getting less of them to look into the shooting at the Bulletproof. 

The Black Tips also managed a few of the construction projects in the area. Any increased investigation on active gangs in the area might be bad for their business, and right now, BTS was taking any swing they could at the Black Tips. 

Namjoon was willing to play the game and tear them down brick by brick.

“Rolling on loop now,” Suga confirmed. 

J-hope still has to get himself out of the area without being caught, so Suga came for backup. He’ll be taking down any surveillance that could pick up his identity and help him navigate his way out of the building. 

J-Hope aimed and let out a warning shot first, making sure to lodge it in the trunk of the convertible so it wouldn’t hit any witnesses. Piss poor aim was another way to protect his identity J-Hope thought smugly to himself. 

The politician dove for his wife, covering her body with his own. 

“Fuck” J-Hope cursed under his breath, his chance of a clean shot diminishing as he now had to account for his bullet going through the man and hitting something vital on his wife. The car stopped moving, and the crowd was already in a frenzy with guards running up to assess the situation. 

“Take the shot, Hope they’re already heading for your building.” Suga’s voice ordered in his ear. 

Aiming for the man’s shoulder, J-Hope fired before turning from the window quickly before a cop could identify the source. If the wife gets hit, it’s the bastard’s fault for moving closer to her. 

“Stay calm,” Suga reminded as J-Hope broke down the gun quickly, making a mental note to clean it later as he tucked it in the compact case before sliding on the backpack. 

He stepped out of his hotel room and into the hall, looking just as concerned as the other pedestrians in the area before carefully making his way to the main exit. Sticking to a crowd was the safest way to stay inconspicuous. 

Then his phone rang.

“Hello?” He answered brightly, expecting it to be Suga online, providing him with a bit of extra coverage. 

“Hi, Mr.Jung, we just wanted to let you know that Y/N has about 30min left in her procedure if you want to make your way over,” a cheery voice greeted.

“I’m sorry, what?” He asked, confused

“Y/N’s wisdom teeth removal. Everything’s fine; we would just like for the guardian that escorts her home to be here when she wakes up for a quick debriefing on further care.” The nurse responded in a sing-song voice, “It says here you consented to be responsible for her? We have her signature.” 

Fuck. 

“Hope?” Suga questioned softly from the Bluetooth piece in his other ear. “The cops are in the building. Take the stairs.” He ordered

J Hope turned away from the elevators and headed for the stairs as he continued to speak with the nurse on the line, “Yeah, I actually can’t be there. Is there any way you can send her home, and I can come by later for the instructions?” He asked hesitantly 

“Sir, she is under anesthesia. She shouldn’t drive for the next 24 hours. I doubt she’ll be able to walk out of the building.” The woman’s voice turned harsh. 

“Hope” Suga’s voice was a warning in his ear as he tracked the receiver’s line. 

Hoseok looked over his shoulder to see the cops coming off the second set of elevators, and he picked up his pace as he made his way to the stairs.

 “Please remain calm; we need everyone to return to their rooms.” An officer announced. 

Hoseok made a break for the stairwell. 

“Hey!” A voice shouted at him.

“I’llsendsomeonetogogetherbye!” J-Hope hung up his phone as he started to race down the stairwell. “Suga, we have a problem,” he panted as he heard the door fly open behind him and a set of footsteps storming after him. 

“You have a few problems...” His partner growled in his ear.

“Can you link Jimin in the call?” 

“You really want to find Y/N a babysitter right now?” He asked incredulously.

“I don’t want her to wake up alone!” He defended as he jumped the railing and landed on the third flight of stairs, ripping the door open and running down the hall, pulling the first fire alarm he saw. 

“A fire alarm, really?” Suga sighed as he dialed Jimin.

J-Hope listened to the dial tone while surveying the hall as people began flooding out of their rooms. Then, turning into the first room left open and unattended, he slammed the door shut behind him and went straight for the window, praying for a fire escape. 

There was not a fire escape. 

“Hello,” Jimin’s voice greeted him in his ear. 

“Do you think I can make a three-story drop without breaking my legs?” J-Hope asked in lue of greeting. 

Jimin didn’t miss a beat, “Depends. Does the building have high ceilings? Is it a tall three stories or, like, a shitty motel three stories?” 

“Uh, definitely tall,” J-Hope said as he leaned out the window before spotting the fire escape further down the building. Eyeing the decorative ledge on the side of the hotel, he stepped up on the windowsill, testing the integrity. “Got it. Can you pick up Y/N from the dentist?” He asked distractedly.

The younger man stated his confusion with a hum. 

“I kinda forgot about her wisdom teeth surgery, and I’m kinda caught up.” J-Hope grabbed at the divot in the building’s bricks as he leaned on his leg out the window, his heart stuttering in his chest. 

“I’m sorry, dude, I’m in the lab right now, and I can’t leave for at least three hours,” There was a faint sizzling noise in the background, and Jimin cursed as he scrambled to his work table, “make that four hours.” He added.

“Damn, alright. Suga called Jin.” 

“Jin has a meeting this afternoon. He can’t. And V went into deep cover.” Suga replied, ending the call with Jimin.

“Call JK,” he asked, his voice now wavering as he scaled his way across the building, nails cracking with how they harshly gripped the grout and stone.

 How did JK and V make this look so easy when they do shit like this? 

Suga muttered his disapproval and something along the lines of ‘Might as well let Y/N’ choke on her blood,’ but did as his partner requested. J-Hope was near the fire escape trying to center himself as he reached his right foot out for its edge. 

Jungkook picked up on the third ring. 

“Yo, I need a favor-” J-Hope's sentences cut off with a yelp of fright as the ledge beneath his left foot crumbled. 

  ---

Jungkook fidgeted as he followed the nurse into the post operations room. He had just woken up after pulling an all-nighter with a task force to sabotage two of the Black Tips construction sites when he got the call from Hoseok tasking him with picking you up and watching over you for the rest of the evening.  Since the kiss over a week ago, he has barely seen you, working day and night with RM to recover from the shooting and the warehouse raid.  He was so caught up in the gang's affairs that he forgot that you were even getting your wisdom teeth removed. 

You and Jungkook have only seen each other in passing at the bakery once in over a week, where the two of you had an uncomfortably short and awkward conversation and made the mutual agreement not to let the others find out about the kiss. Mainly for Jungkook’s safety because he was pretty sure Hoseok would use him for target practice if he found out. Jimin was sworn to secrecy and Taehyung...

Well, that was another conversation Jungkook was due to have but dreaded approaching. 

He still felt queasy at the thought of having to talk out his feelings with his brother. But V had insisted he was fine and was quick to volunteer himself to go under deep cover to keep a better eye on the Black Tips from the 6th ward. As a result, no one in the inner circle has seen him in four days. Only Jin, who got daily reports from his cousin, had a clue where he was each day. 

And while Jungkook would always worry for his brother's safety, he was relieved to have V out of the picture, especially while he was still trying to figure his own feelings out. 

If he was honest with himself, Jungkook let his work keep him away this week. He didn’t even know what to say to you or how he was supposed to feel after the kiss. 

Saints, that kiss was amazing. 

He knew one thing: he liked you, a lot and he loved spending time with you, but he had no clue how the kiss impacted your relationship. He didn’t know if he could have a relationship beyond what the two of you already had. Or if he was capable of giving you the affection and support you deserved. 

Jungkook has had partners and flings in the past, but none of them went very deep. They were mostly other members of BTS whom he trained and had a short fling with until they got settled in their assignment and realized they wanted someone more emotionally available to call a partner. Once the thrill of dating a gang member wore off, he had a hard time keeping the attention of any female in his life. 

And that was on a good day. Now, Jungkook was navigating the beginnings of a gang war, and you were trying to finish medical school. How could either of you even try for a relationship? Especially when your dreams and ambitions conflicted so much. Jungkook shot people and sold drugs. Your job was to help people recover from the damage he inflicted. Any thoughts of being with you triggered a moral dilemma he often worked himself to mind-numbing exhaustion to avoid thinking about.

You were still fighting the effects of the anesthesia when the nurse-led Jungkook into the room. Slouching in a wheelchair with your head drooping a little too far to the right, your cheeks were so puffed up from the swelling and cotton that it was past the point of adorable and more comical. 

You were also drooling.

“Y/N, your friend is here to take you home.” The nurse cooed at you as if she were talking to a child. You sat upright immediately, grimacing as you attempted a smile but your eyes squinting to show your excitement all the same. 

Jungkook stood awkwardly in the doorway with a small bag of your items from the nurse in one hand and a can of soup in the other, not knowing what to do with himself. Jungkook was clueless about what to expect when Hoseok called him. He just knew he ate soft foods after he got his cavity filled once and figured you might want soup if you were hungry. 

You let out a muffled “Hoobiii” as you tried to stand. 

“Shh, not yet.” The nurse said, pushing you gently to sit down. You were still squinting, and that's when JK remembered that your glasses were in the small bag of your things along with your cell phone, wallet, and earrings. 

“She had some trouble waking from the anesthesia, but she seems fully responsive now. It’s normally about an hour or so before the effects wear off, but you’re welcome to take her home after your briefing.” The nurse explained with a sweet smile as she wiped the drool from your chin carefully. Jungkook just nodded blankly, still concerned by the swelling in your cheeks.

He’s never seen anyone after wisdom teeth removal. He remembers a few stories from RM caring for Suga, mainly because RM was a terrible caretaker, and Suga got dry socket.

“I can’t feel my face,” you informed him as he got closer.

The nurse was quick to give him a run down. Pain pills and antibiotics twice a day, no talking for at least today, soft food, no staws (you were quick to tell the nurse that straws kill turtles), try to be elevated when you sleep, the list goes on and on. Jungkooks thumbs couldn’t type the notes down on his phone fast enough. She handed him a pamphlet and assured him Google had plenty of answers, and if not, he could call at any time. And then they were getting ready to wheel you into the hall. 

Jungkook quickly fumbled for your glasses, slipping the frames on your face. You blinked at the adjustment before looking up at him and promptly turning distraught. 

To his utter terror, you started crying. 

“Y-you’re not Hobi. Where's Hobi?” You demanded, finally able to see his face clearly.  

“Y/N, it’s okay. Hobi asked me to pick you up! It’s fine. We’re going to have so much fun!” Jungkook leaned to your level, trying to console you. The nurse sighed at the inconvenience. 

“I never have fun with you,” you accused with a pout trying to roll your wheelchair away from him. The drool spilling from your mouth was now tinted a slight pink as you started to irritate the stitches. 

Jungkook looked up pleadingly at the nurse who shrugged, “be more fun” she suggested with a smirk as if she was enjoying your meltdown. Jungkook sighed and tried to barter.

“C’mon princess, don’t you wanna go home? We can eat soup.”  

“Ion wan your soop!” You nearly wailed. 

“We can get popsicles” 

You froze instantly, and Jungkook wanted to laugh, even in your post-drugged state, your sweet tooth was the leading factor in your decision making. Unbelievable. 

“You should actually minimize the sugar,” the nurse said blandly.

You were crying again.

 Jungkook glared at the nurse accusingly. “You can have sugar princess. Come on let’s go home.” He cooed at you, brushing your hair away from your face.

The nurse steered the chair to the front and waited with you while Jungkook pulled the car around. He supported most of your weight as he transferred you from one seat to the other and buckled you, which triggered a fierce burning from the injury in his arm. You were still shivering from the anesthesia wearing off, so he leaned to his backseat, cluttered with textbooks and takeout wrappers, and grabbed his spare hoodie he always kept for you and laid it across your lap. By the time he buckled himself into the driver’s seat you were nuzzling into the jacket, and he found it adorable even if the gray fabric was noticeably absorbing your spit. 

Jungkook put on some music as he began planning his next steps. First, he needed to go to the pharmacy to pick up your meds. Then, he should probably secure some soft food for you to eat. He had a feeling you would need more than a can of soup for the next three days.

He also promised you a popsicle, and after referring to the pamphlet and seeing sugar wasn’t banned, the nurse was just a terrible person; he intended to get you that fucking popsicle.   

Then, he supposed he would take you home? Which was on the second floor of a building without an elevator. And you couldn’t even hold yourself up to get from the wheelchair to the car. Jungkook knew he could probably carry you up the stairs, but that could require you to sit still, which you were not doing one bit in his car. 

He was also terrified that his left arm wouldn't be able to support you fully, he was still healing from the bullet that grazed him last week. Not to mention the other fears of being alone with you and not knowing a damn thing about how to care for a sick person. He was so clueless, he was categorizing you as sick because he didn’t know what the hell to call a post-dental surgery person. Jungkook supposed he could go to the Den, they did have spare bedrooms there, and Namjoon and Jin would be there tonight to help make sure you didn’t die. 

During his mental debate, you started singing along to the music, the cotton protruding slightly past your lips, it was endearing for all of half a chorus until he saw the pink tinge to your mouth again and remembered you were not supposed to be talking right now. 

He quickly changed the song and challenged you to a humming game, hoping that somehow any use of your vocal cords didn’t damage your battered mouth. 

Everything was fine again when he pulled up to the pharmacy. You were humming and lightly running your fingertips over your lips as they slowly gained the sensation back, a mesmerized look in your eyes.  So he deemed it safe to leave you in the car while he ran in to grab your meds, hopefully, some soft food, and some extra gauze for your mouth.

What he wasn’t anticipating was for you to pull your hand away from your mouth after poking at it a little too hard, biting down on the cotton as you winced and squeezing some of the absorbed blood out of it. 

You were horrified when you saw the blood on your fingertips, flicking your tongue along your lip to confirm that you were in fact bleeding.

And then you were crying, a horrible inconsolable cry as you registered the dull ache in your mouth, and the fact that you were bleeding and going to die soon. You felt like you were choking on your own tongue as you pulled bits of bright red cotton from between your lips without a clue of how it got there. 

Jungkook was horrified when he returned to the car taking in the blubbering mess you were in. Then, running to your side of the car, he knelt down to your level, desperate to console you. 

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re fine, it’s okay,” he tried to sooth you. You blinked down to him as your lashes wet and clumped with tears. 

“Koo- Kookie, I’m bleeding blood.” You offered as an explanation while trying to pull more cotton from your mouth; you were a mess of blood, spit, and tears. 

After some time, he convinced you to calm down and worked some of the cotton back into your mouth, praying that it wouldn’t lead to some kind of infection from touching it. And telling himself, he’ll change it out as soon as he gets to the Den. 

He sent Jimin a text to bring you a popsicle after his work and another message to Jin and Namjoon to give them a heads up before making his way home. 

You must have tired yourself out from the crying because you fell asleep in the short commute from the pharmacy and didn’t seem to be budging when Jungkook pulled into the garage. Sticking your personal things into the grocery bag from the pharmacy, he unbuckled you and squatted down to work his arms under your knees, and pulled you out of the car. Careful not to bump your head against the low roof.

You were dead weight in his arms, and instantly the wound on his bicep burned at the strain but he clenched his teeth, focusing on breathing and not hitting your head on anything as he made his way to the door. Jungkook managed to use your legs to help him open the door, and then he was laying you down on the couch in the living room, where you remained snoozing and unphased. 

Jungkook felt the stinging in his arm and knew he would have to change both of your dressings soon, but first, he wanted to read through the directions on the pamphlet one more time to make sure he didn’t miss any steps. 

----

“How is she?” Jin asked softly as he made his way into the living room.

The elder was still dressed in slacks and a button-up, his tie loosened around his neck, and Jungkook knew he came to check in between meetings. 

“Okay, I think, we just got in, but I need to change her dressing,” Jungkook answered as he washed his hands. 

Jin eyed the pill cutter on the counter and the pill sorter next to it. Jungkook must have been getting all your medication together in advance, so he didn’t miss anything. 

“You’ll do fine. Once the wounds clot give her some teabags to pack in her cheeks, it helps with the swelling,” Jin encouraged, noticing the Youtube video tutorial playing softly on his phone, explaining the process of how to change the gauze. 

Jungkook nodded moving, to the couch to wake you. 

“Can you stay for a minute? I made her cry earlier.” Jungkook asked hesitantly. 

Jin nodded, following the younger’s lead as he made his way in the living room and tapped you softly to wake you. 

“Ella, you gotta wake up,” Jungkook sang in a sing-song voice. 

You cracked your eyes open, disoriented, and Jin had to stifle a laugh at the sight of your chipmunk cheeks as you sat up. 

“Can you take some medicine for me?” Jungkook asked, moving to cup the pills in your hand. 

“If it’s for you, you should take it, Kook.” You mumbled back. 

“You know what I mean, silly,” he insisted as he guided the medication to your mouth. You eyed him suspiciously like you didn’t know what he meant, but you didn’t resist as he pressed the bottle of water against your lips. 

“Hey, that's my boss!” You informed as you noticed Jin. 

“Y/N, good morning. I heard you got your wisdom removed. How does it feel to be less wise?” Jin teased. You blinked owlishly up at him as you connected his words. Less wise? Shit, you really did get your wisdom removed. 

Your eyes watered as the emotion bubbled up your throat, and you let out a quiet sniffle. Jungkook swore under his breath as he raced for you.

 “I told you to be careful, she's really sensitive.” You were full-on crying now, hiccuping your ragged breaths. “Ella what’s wrong?” He asked, rubbing your arm soothingly.

“I-I wanna be a doctor, but who wants a wise-less doctor. I have no wisdom to help them!” You sobbed in despair.

Jungkook glared at Jin, who could only smile sheepishly at your outburst. It seems the anesthesia was still taking its toll. The nurse had warned the side effects would make you emotional.

---

Watching over you was easier than Jungkook thought; once he got all your prescriptions sorted into one of those plastic pill sorters he picked up from the pharmacy, you mainly just slept.

You rode a pain pill haze most of the afternoon, drifting in and out of consciousness.

The room you were in was dim but not too dark or silent. You were tucked under a pile of blankets and a pillow that smelled like the best detergent. 

You remember being woken up by Jungkook a few times, all soft bunny smiles and whispers as he tried to keep you calm and help you sit up so you could take your medicine, then trying to change the dressing in your mouth as gently as possible. He flinched as the tender movements still made your eyes water, but you nodded at him encouragingly as you gripped the edge of your shirt to ground yourself. Finally, he offered you food, but you drifted off before you could ever get around to eating it. 

At one point, you woke up to a sweet, burning smell and looked over to see a kitchen next to you and Jungkook cursing as he moved a pot from the stove to the sink. You tried to smile at the moment, but it made your mouth ache, so you tucked yourself into your pillow and tried to sleep the pain away. 

It was hours later when you woke fully to the squeaking sound of someone washing windows. You were prepared to ask Kook to clean more quietly, but when you sat up from the couch, you were met with the sight of Jin and Namjoon sitting at the breakfast bar. 

It took a moment for you to get your bearings, and you realized you were on the first floor of the Den, not your home. By the look of the books on the table, you figured Jungkook brought you in here to watch you while he did homework. 

You felt like a mess with dried tears making your swollen cheeks feel stiff. You don’t even know if you can do your skincare in this state. The thought of breaking out and having a fat AND pimply face made emotions bubble up and bring tears to your eyes. You tried to blink them away. Was it normal to be so emotional after a surgery? 

Jungkook’s face lit up as he noticed you rise. “Oh, good, you’re awake,” he said with a smile. “I need to change your dressing soon,” he clarified, getting up to go wash his hands. 

He was gentle as he removed the blood-soaked cotton out of your mouth before moving to work the clean gauze in. 

His brows furrowed in concentration, and for a moment, you were mesmerized by him. The way his dark hair framed his features, you didn’t realize how long it had gotten over the months. You wondered if you could tie it back with a hair tie if you tried. 

He had a small scar under his eye. You once asked him how he got it, expecting some cool story of his rising years in BTS, and remembered how he grinned as he explained Taehyung literally threw a video game controller at his face in a more intense session of Mario Kart. 

Your eyes traveled down his face, taking note of the small mole just under his full bottom lip. His lips were.. 

“Ow!” Jungkook yelped, jerking his hand away as you bit down. Namjoon and Jin turned to the commotion as Jungkook demanded, “Why did you bite me?”

“Because you’re an idiot,” you sneered—your displeasure written on your face despite the swelling in your cheeks. 

Jungkook looked at you shocked, “What’d I do?” he demanded, offended. 

“You kissed me, then ran off and played mobster for a week.” 

Jungkook blanched at your accusation, “Y/N,” he warned, looking pointedly at their two spectators. 

But it was too late; the fog in your mind had cleared, and your emotional dam had cracked as the last effects of your pain pill had worn off. Your eyes teared up; all the sadness, confusion, and insecurity of the past week without him converted itself into a rage as you leaned to shove him away from you. 

“When you said you wanted to take your time with me, I didn’t think you meant texting me back.” 

Jin choked on his drink at the accusation, and Jungkook had the decency to look ashamed for ghosting you. He opened his mouth to apologize when Jimin burst into the doorway. 

“I bought popsicles!” He announced in a sing-song voice as he entered the room. “What's wrong? Did Namjoon make you cry?” Jimin asked at the sight of your disheveled state. 

Namjoon argued the accusation as you blinked up at Jimin, your eyelashes still clumped with tears. 

“I want to go home.” You said in lue of a response. 

Jimin’s smile faltered as he looked between you and Jungkook, who still sat on the floor. Then turning to Jin and Namjoon for a better read of the room, Jin gave a subtle nod, and with that confirmation, Jimin didn’t hesitate to stoop and grab your things off the coffee table, dropping them in the grocery bag of popsicles. 

“I love a good sleepover. Can you walk, princess?” His words were bright and bubbly, dismissing his distressed brother, who sat silently on the floor. 

You nodded with a sniffle, working yourself into a standing position. Jin handed Jimin all of your medications that were already sorted neatly into a pill divider by Jungkook earlier that day. 

With a quick smile and a wave of farewell to the others, Jimin led you out to his car with no questions asked. 

“I’ll get your medication schedule from Jungkook later; you don’t have to worry about a thing,” Jimin assured as you both buckled in. 

You didn’t want to talk about it once you got home and settled on your bed, and Jimin didn’t push; he could infer what had upset you from what he observed at the bakery this past week or the lack of what he saw. 

Jimin had noticed the way you walked in, beaming as bright as the sun the day after the kiss. And how it faltered slightly after Jungkook came in for a quick rendezvous in the supply closet. He watched as your smile faded completely and insecurity ate your good spirit up as the week went on, silent on his end. 

Jimin wasn't one to medal in his friend's business. That’s a lie. He’s a no-good busy body. But in this case, in particular, Jimin was careful not to push; he was aware of the delicacy of the situation and how much stress Jungkook was under at the moment. But the way he had completely ghosted you this past week made him want to grab his friend by the ear and drag him to your house to apologize. If Jimin had any clue the choices for picking you up from your wisdom teeth removal were between himself and his shit head of a friend, Jimin would have left the lab to burn without a second thought. Research be damned.  

-----

Four short days later, you found yourself returning to a sense of normalcy as you unlocked the entrance to Sugar Daddy. You were granted a soft open, thank heavens, and only had to come in at 6 am, but even after nearly 5 days of nothing, but sleep you found yourself yawning as you battled with the key. 

“Jimin,” you called as you entered the dark shop, surprised to see the front cabinets were empty, and the air smelled of baking bread instead of the sweets that were usually in the oven by now.

He must have been running behind schedule. 

You hope he didn’t stay up too late after checking in on you yesterday evening. Then, your worry shifted to guilt at the thought that you might have interrupted his evening routine. He had sacrificed so much of his personal time to come and check on you and keep you company between shifts. 

“Jimin?” You called, making your way to the kitchen, relieved to see the ovens were at least running. A quick scan of the kitchen showed no sign of your co-worker, but the counters were messy for Jimin’s work, and for a second, you wondered if you misread the schedule. 

That's when you noticed the door open in the back. 

It was a solid metal door labeled maintenance. You had no clue what was behind it but never bothered to ask because it was never open. 

You made your way towards it cautiously, one voice in your head reminding you, you were in a bakery and would be fine, and the other taunting you that you were in a gangster bakery and to always be prepared for surprises. 

Your heart pounded its way up to your throat as you approached the cracked door, careful to make your footsteps quiet as possible. 

“Ella,” 

You gasped in shock as Jimin appeared in your line of vision, cracking the door open a little wider to see you. 

“Jimin, you scared the shit out of me,” you breathed one hand on your chest. His mouth quirked into a small smile that seemed to say, ‘my bad.’ “What are you wearing?” You questioned the thick gloves and safety goggles on his head.

Jimin grimaced. 

“It’s personal protection equipment,” he started to explain. 

“Yes, I know what PPE,” you said with a roll of our eyes. You had worn the equipment plenty of times in your chemistry labs in college, “Why are you dressed like your about to go to the lab?” you questioned. 

Jimin grinned sheepishly, “Because you’re in my lab?” he offered as an explanation. 

Jimin thought your eyes might bulge out of their sockets as you pushed past him and took in the intensive research lab behind the metal door. 

It makes sense given the dimensions of the building. You guess the kitchen didn’t quite fit it, but you were still shocked and showed a little bit of fear of working amid explosives all this time. 

Everything was starting to make sense; this is what the gangster bakery was hiding. You thought back to the chemistry books you saw in Jin’s office, and the odd hours Jimin always seemed to be working. 

“How do you even know how to do all this?” You asked, a little in awe as you took in the different devices that lined the walls, and the bubbling beakers along the counters. 

Jimin smiled ruefully, “I’ve always had a natural talent for it. Some people work well with numbers or orders. For me, it’s chemicals that connect the world and make it the way it is,” he explained bashfully. 

“Yeah, but do you Google how to make bombs and just go for it, or did someone teach you?” You asked. 

Jimin tilted his head as if contemplating his answer before he turned back the beakers, turning down the flames and scribbling down a few notes. 

“It’s a bit of a long story. We should probably talk in the kitchen,” Jimin offered in response as he finished whatever it was he was doing and made his way back to the bakery.  

It was quiet as you both set to work unloading the baked goods out of the ovens and putting them on the cooling rack. Jimin grabbed a tray of cookies ready to be iced and handed you a piping bag with a smile. 

“Just glaze them. They don't need to be pretty,” 

You rolled your eyes before snatching the bag from him and starting to carefully trace the perimeter of the oval-shaped sugar cookies, laying down a base coat for Jimin to later design. 

“I was kind of a protege back in the day,” he offered, finally breaking the silence. “Ya know, the small-town country kid who was good at math and science. I got accepted in some big STEM boarding school in East Alcor; I was surrounded by students who wanted to cure cancer or end climate change. Some really inspired me, but most were my rivals. The program was competitive, we were constantly pinned against each other for performance reviews. They would do a big review, lots of tests, and a research presentation at the end of the year. I was 16, and working on a thesis. If you didn’t do well you got cut and sent home. I didn’t want to disappoint my family like that. I couldn’t stand the thought of not being enough, so I became too much.” He said with a shrug. 

He stayed quiet, and for a moment the two of you just focused on icing the cookies as you gave him space to gather his thoughts and decide whether or not to tell you more. 

You glanced up and met his gaze. Then, saw the invitation to ask, “How did you end up in BTS?” 

You waited for his face to fall, for the deep sadness that brought him here to surface as it did for Taehyung or Hoseok any time you asked about their pasts.

But Jimin smiled a crooked little smile that was better classified as a smirk as he started talking. “I wanted to set myself apart from the others, and as I said, chemistry came naturally to me. I knew that I could make something big. Have some kind of breakthrough if I had enough time, so I broke into the labs at night to work on my own research for my second year. The goal was to create a more isolated explosive that you could control or manipulate for small-scale construction projects or even disaster relief.” He explained. 

You swallowed nervously, able to predict where this was going. 

“It’s kinda handy if you think about it. Especially in Alcor, where construction and development happen so quickly, it would be an easy way to clear roads or old districts with mostly vacant buildings.” he continued, and you admired how his eyes lit up in excitement. It was work he was passionate about, proud to talk about. Somehow calling him an arsonist like most of the inner circle referred to him as seemed like an oversimplification of all he was capable of. He was a chemist and a visionary. 

“So, what happened?” You prompted, wanting to keep him on track. As much as you would love to discuss his passions, the bakery did open in less than an hour. 

This time Jimin’s face did fall, “I made a miscalculation, and it blew up in my face. Literally. I almost lost my arm from the impact of the explosion,” he paused for a second, worming his arm out of his shirt to show a band of wicked scarring along his left shoulder and down his arm. 

You gaped at the brutal injury. By the look of the scarring, the burn wasn’t treated or healed properly. It hadn’t occurred to you until now that Jimin wore exclusively long sleeve shirts. Only rolling up his sleeves to a portion of his forearm where the thinner scars could be dismissed, especially compared to the stark tattoo on his inner forearm. 

“And the school lost half an entire wing of the building. So naturally, I was sent to juvie.”  

“So you joined a gang in a juvenile detention center?” You asked in disbelief. 

At the accusation, Jimin laughed. “Technically, yes, it’s pretty brutal in there. But not BTS. Namjoon got word of some mad scientist sent to juvie and thought it sounded like a waste of potential. So he sent Taehyung there, who posed as a prisoner, my roommate actually, and he offered me a way out. I could take the tattoo, and they would get me out, and I would have a lab to work on all my passion projects as long as I did some jobs for them. The bakery came to be a few years later, and I just really liked the pace of life here.” He said with a shrug. 

You imagined Jimin and Taehyung together. The two always seemed thick as thieves—a friendship born of pure mischief.  But friendship, aside you could see the ambition clear as day in Jimin’s eyes. 

You couldn't keep the disbelief off your face, “You never wanted to go back to school, continue your research?” You asked incredulously.

Jimin frowned, setting down his icing bag with a sigh, “I ruined myself when I broke into that lab after hours. I put students sleeping in the dorms at risk. I violated a million different school policies. I was a few months out from turning 18 and being truly convicted for the crimes I committed. Even so, juvie ruined me. I would never get accepted into a college or a research program, my work as a scientist wouldn’t be respected because of the boundaries I pushed when I was young. But even if I would have been pardoned, breaking out of jail and escaping like that is unforgivable. There was a warrant out for my arrest for nearly a year before they tossed it up and filed me as a missing person. I ruined my future myself, but Namjoon and the others breaking me out was the final seal in my coffin. It took away my chance of living any kind of quiet life.” 

You frowned, disturbed by Jimin’s words. Hoseok once described taking the BTS tattoo as both a target and a shield. RM had given Jimin safety but also made him entirely dependent upon him to receive it. 

You shivered as you realized the parallels in your situations. 

If you were caught treating and practicing on gang members in your home, you could lose your chance of ever becoming a licensed doctor. It was a detail you didn’t dwell on very often, but you could only hope you could make it through this encounter with BTS, provide your services and pass through the gang unscathed.

 And once you graduated and were an actual doctor, then what? 

You were quite the rest of the morning as you finished opening the bakery. Your thoughts cycling in the same nerve-wracking spiral of “what ifs?”

-----

You were left to close the bakery alone. 

Which you didn’t mind at all. While the tasks were mundane, they kept you busy enough to keep you from dwelling too hard on negative thoughts. But, more importantly, it kept you from dwelling on Jeon Jungkook and the absolute fool you made of yourself by biting him like a feral animal instead of talking out your feelings like a normal person.

You came to peace with the fact that while fun, a romantic relationship with Jeon Jungkook was mostly a bad idea. He would distract you from school, and you were collateral on his end. Nothing but a big fat target to be used against him, and you decided after being trailed down an ally so many months ago that the damsel in distress was not your vibe. 

You tried to logic away from your genuine feelings behind the kiss. You were both stressed and recovering from a life-threatening situation. That kiss was a comfort and a distraction for both of you, and it was the distraction you needed at the moment. The physical touch and spark of desire were what kept you from totally falling apart when you went home that evening. The memory of his touch was a break of light that soothed away the nightmares of the shooting the day before. 

You were prepared for Jungkook to say he wasn’t interested and tell him the feeling was mutual. 

You were working on closing the shop and losing the don’t-think-of-Jeon-Jungkook game when the doorbell rattled, and a group of men entered the bakery. You were five minutes from closing, and while this wasn’t out of the ordinary, you weren’t thrilled with your quiet evening being interrupted by a group of rowdy customers. Especially when you already packed up most of the pastries in the back. 

Taking a second look at the men, you felt weary and wondered if they were members of BTS coming in for a late meeting Jimin forgot to tell you about. They were all tall and broad-shouldered, most sported several tattoos, and they had a look that made you feel uneasy. Not only did they intimidate you, but their expressions looked like they wanted to intimidate you. 

But your panic quickly softened as you locked eyes with a familiar face. 

“Marcus!” You greeted with delight. 

Your usual, Marcus was a quiet guy who often came to the bakery to people watch throughout the day. The two of you have had a handful of conversations over the months, all surface-level banter. Still, you always enjoyed his presence. Aside from that one time he and V got into a weird pissing contest, Marcus had never made you uncomfortable or feel unsafe. 

The fact that he might have brought his friends here for a late-night snack put you almost at ease. 

“You're in luck, most of the pastries are put up, but I think we have a few lemon bars in the back.” You offered, knowing they were his favorite. 

“I’m not here for lemon bars,” he answered with a sneer,

Your smile faltered as two men made their way towards you, passing the counter and heading for the kitchen. 

“Hey, you can't go back there!” You cried as one man called back with a gruff, ‘all clear.’

The depth of your situation sunk in as Marcus pushed open the door, and a handsome Korean man in a well-tailored suit made his way into the bakery and locked the door behind him. 

“Miss L/N, I was hoping for the chance to speak with you,” he said with a smirk. 

What little emergency response training you got for your job kicked in through your panic. 

‘Don’t fight back, just comply,’ you told yourself fiercely. 

“Look sir, yesterday was bank day, so there isn’t much money in the till; I’ll give you everything we have,” you started to barter as you reached the register.

Your hand scrambled beneath the counter, feeling for the emergency button that would alert Yoongi or an Army about the break-in. 

“I’m not here for your money. I’m here to talk to you.” The man said with a nice, calm smile. 

“You came packing pretty heavy if all you want is a conversation.” You stalled as you pressed the panic button one last time before forcing yourself to keep your hands by your side so that you wouldn’t give yourself away. 

One of the bodybuilders from the kitchen stalked towards you behind the counter, grabbing your arm and leading you out from behind the wall of safety. 

“This will go a lot smoother if you don’t resist.” The man chided. 

You begrudgingly complied, realizing it would be safest if you played along for now. Help was on its way and you were outnumbered by dangerous and potentially armed men. You just needed to buy some time. 

You soon found yourself manhandled into one of the cafe chairs while the man in the suit stood over you, arms crossed. The position required you to tilt your head and look up at him to see his face, and he looked smug at the submissive position. Nevertheless, he held himself with the kind of confidence that told you he was used to getting his way and getting people to listen to him. 

“It’s on record that you’ve gotten close with the inner circle of the gang BTS” he started, though the tone sounded more like an accusation than an observation. 

You stayed silent, making an effort to keep your expression cool, maybe even bored, not wanting to give away your feelings on the situation. 

He sighed after a moment before continuing, “I’ll get to the point Y/N, BTS is dangerous. More dangerous than you think. In fact, you probably have no idea what games they’re playing or what risk you’re putting yourself at by owing them money.” 

You tried to keep your face impassive at the bit of knowledge he had about you. 

“I don’t even know what their plans are. But I’m not going to ask you to stay away from them. I need you to stay close to them, find out what their plans are, and give me that information.” It wasn’t a request as much as a demand. 

Up to this point, you had sat uncomfortably in the chair, your palms down flat on your thighs, scared that any sudden movements would lead to you being seriously injured, but the tide in the conversation turned as you realized he needed you in his corner to further whatever weird motive he was working towards. You took a moment to cross your legs, making yourself get comfortable, hoping he couldn’t see the way your hands trembled as you interlock your fingers and perched them atop your knee. 

You thought back to the time you asked V what a spy entailed being, and he told you he often let himself get caught in the act because he had a talent for making interrogations against him work for him. The rule was never to give them your power, always hold yourself with a bit of confidence and control and never let them see you scramble for answers. It unnerves them, and as long as you complied and didn’t give a reason for the interrogation to get too violent, you could walk out with your own information. 

Of course, there was the inevitable beating at the end, and you were hoping to skip that part. 

You let your eyes travel over the man's body in a once-over, allowing your expression to look unimpressed, “I don’t even know who you are. Why would I help you?” You asked, keeping your tone light. 

The man smiled, “Who I am doesn’t matter. What matters is that BTS is nothing but a bunch of no good criminals, and they tarnish and corrupt this city more and more every day. They think they have some kind of power over it.” He finished with a hiss, his distaste obvious.

“BTS doesn’t trust me as much as you think they do, your sources are wrong, and I’m not risking my neck for some white knight attempt to take down the gang that runs half the west side.” You deflected. 

“They don’t run half-” 

“Shut it.” The man in the suit hissed at the balding henchmen to the left of you. 

You looked over to him, interested by the apparent bias, the bit of pride in the balding man’s eyes. You hit a tender spot with that comment, and you could only think of one group of people who would care that much about an exaggeration of BTS’s power. He was with the BlackTips. You don’t know how or why the Korean man in front of you was affiliated with him, you doubted he was the leader of the stereotypical Irish gang, but somehow he influenced the group of men in this room. 

“Enough lies. I know how close you are to BTS, and I know you’re the only person they trust enough to help me take them down. So help me, Y/N. Help me rid this city of the horrors of this gang, and I will pay off your debt to BTS, and I will make your dreams come true.” He promised. 

You couldn’t hold back the laugh that escaped you, “You sound like a cliche villain right now trying to lure me to the dark side. Make my dreams come true,” you mocked, “You know nothing about me or my dreams.” 

His eyes darkened, and one of the henchmen inched their way a little closer to you. You felt a bead of sweat drip down your back; for a moment, you forgot the danger of the situation you were in, but in that slight movement by the balding man, your reality came crashing in. Where the fuck was Yoongi in the others? You could feel your time slipping.

“I know that you want to be a doctor. And you would do anything to become one, even doing something as reckless as borrow money from a gang leader and risk your license before you even get it. I can pay your debt and ensure your spot in the program. I can have you starting your residency this summer, even.” He offered with a smile. 

“That’s impossible. I don’t even have my masters yet,” you corrected. 

“Is it? You’ve never heard of a grad student with the right connections start their residency at the university hospital a year early?” He prompted, leaning back against a table to seem casual and give you space. He was trying to win you over. 

He was right, it wasn’t unheard of, but it was a position of privilege possible for third-generation doctors or ones with a lot of money.

“I’m on the board of directors for Alcor University Hospital. I could make this happen for you,” he promised with a smile. 

And for a second, to your shame, you paused and considered. All your hard work, paying off. Your chance of becoming a doctor expedited so you can start your training nearly two years early, getting that much closer to getting your licensing. 

The man in the suit’s eyes gleamed as he saw your hesitation, your ambition. 

You let yourself fantasize for one more moment before making a promise to yourself that if you were going to do it, you would do it your way. You wanted your title to be earned by you and you alone. All your hard work would be for nothing if someone let you cheat the rest of the way through. 

You tilted your head in mock consideration, sucking your teeth and making that ‘tisk’ sound that used to set your dad off growing up. Of course, it hurt your still healing mouth, but by the way the man’s eyes flared as you cooed, “Not interested.” You knew it had the desired effect. 

The man in the suit composed himself and smirked as he pushed off the table, “I have to respect your loyalty to them, but it is a pity-” he said with a shake of his head. 

“It’s not loyalty to BTS,” you corrected, “Maybe I’m just not interested in working for a guy who brings big scary men along to intimidate me into taking the world’s shittiest job offer.” 

This is where you immediately question your decisions. Before, he was tolerant to you because he needed you, but you just clearly rejected his offer. So now he had no reason to play nice.

You were seriously pushing your luck. 

“We’ll see, until next time Y/N, boys... you know what to do.” He ordered as he made his way out. 

You didn’t know how to process the need to roll your eyes at this man’s seemingly rehearsed cheesy supervillain one-liners and the fear that spiked through you at what his henchmen ‘knew what to do.’ It resulted in a confused flutter of your lashes before one man picked up a chair and threw it at the glass display, shattering it. 

You cried out in shock as he picked up another chair to repeat the task. 

Frantic to stop him, you grabbed for his arm. Effortlessly, he shook you off, and you lost your footing, falling to the ground. Pain erupted through your head-turning your vision white as your jaw slammed into your own shoulder at the impact. 

When your vision cleared, you could see the three men and Marcus working on wrecking the bakery—tearing apart the display cases and wall that held baskets for the bread. You flinched back as the thousand-dollar espresso machine crashed to the ground littering espresso beans all over the floor. 

You had to get out of there, suddenly terrified they would use the ovens to burn the place down. 

You got up, quickly making a break for the kitchen where the back exit was. 

“Hey, someone grab her!” You heard Marcus shout as you made it through the swinging doors. You turned, adrenaline aiding you as you pulled the bakers rack by the doors in front of them, hoping the slight obstacle would slow them down and keep them from following you out into the alleyway. 

You raced for the exit, pushing on the door, your momentum reverberating back up your arms as it did not budge. You shoved again, a sob of panic escaping you as you realized you already locked up the back earlier when closing. And your keys were behind the counter with your phone. 

You were trapped, and if BTS wasn’t here by now, then no one was coming to save you. 

An idea came to you as the baking rack fell to the ground as the intruders shoved against the kitchen doors. But it still managed to block the doors from opening fully. So you got a few more moments of safety as they fumbled to push through your shitty barricade. 

You raced across the kitchen to the maintenance door, moving to punch the code in. You couldn’t believe it was just this morning when you found Jimin in his lab, and he gave you this very code. 

With a shout of victory, you turned and saw two of the men squeeze their way into the kitchen, dragging the baker’s rack with them. 

“Nowhere to run,” the balding man sneered right as you submitted the pin. 

There was a momentary delay before the lock processed the code and unlocked the door for you. In that time, the balding man charged forward. You had enough time to crack the door open enough for your body to slip in and grab the first device on the table. 

You sent up a prayer begging that the canister in your hand wasn’t an explosive as you pulled the trigger and tossed it into the kitchen, slamming the lab door shut behind you and bracing yourself for the boom. 

You heard the man shout in shock and a faint but familiar hissing sound on the other side of the door. Soon Marcus and the others were crying out in surprise as you listened to the pressurized canister release gas into the kitchen. 

You glanced at the counter beside you, seeing a row of the canisters twin to the one you launched in the kitchen, lining the countertop in a neat line. Next to it was the beaker Jimin was working with this morning. A cure to the effect of the smoke, he had explained. While you can build up a tolerance to the gas, he realized after your encounter with the smoke that some civilians and witnesses may need an immediate cure to cooperate and keep their memories for interrogations. 

You grabbed one of the viles, tipping back what you hoped was a safe dose in your mouth, and grabbed a rag tying it around your face for good measure. You had one option, hide behind this door and wait it out. 

‘It’ being the intruders getting bored of waiting for you and running off or for someone in BTS to come to your rescue.

 Or you could fight your way out. 

The risk of them using the ovens to burn down the bakery wasn’t one you were willing to take now that the chances were in your favor. 

And while you couldn’t take two men, much less four, in a fight on your own. When they’re dizzy and have their vision impaired from the gas, you knew you could take them if Jimin’s cure worked. You knew the layout of this kitchen like the back of your hand; you knew you could navigate your way around it and weaponize what was in it. 

And you like your chances.

---- 

A/N: This bitch really said I have the power of God and anime on my side.

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[daddyultrasoft]

— Natal Venus Retrograde.

The planet, Venus, goes retrograde every 19 months & only lasting for about 21-41 days. Which makes Venus the rarest planet to have retrograded in one’s natal chart—Consuming only about 8 to 10% of the population. This significant population undergoes a vast amount of karma, issues & impediments surrounding Venusian themes.

Venus is the planet of beauty, what you find beautiful, love, how you love & show affection, art, self-esteem, creativity, relationships & connections, money, socializing—Ruled by Libra & Taurus.

Struggling Self-Worth

Venus represents self-esteem, & how you make yourself feel good or beautiful. A common Venus direct (someone who doesn’t have a Venus Retrograde) might find it easier to find things to love about themselves, to feel good or beautiful about who they are. With a Venus retrograde—they can struggle with finding themselves lovable, beautiful & worthwhile. Feeling as if they are not deserving of what they want, that they are not deserving of beautiful things. Their trip to love is a much more harder one than Venus direct individuals’. Venus Retrograde women usually struggle with self-care as it makes them uncomfortable or it just doesn’t work for them. It is not so uncommon for these individuals to search outside of themselves or become addicted to something to attain their self-happiness or feel worthy & cared for. For example: getting into a lots of romantic relationships, attaining lots of friends they are not so emotionally attached to, overindulgence with food & money, or even vast amounts of plastic surgery in some extreme cases. They also tend to seek unrelieved validation from others. After they are completely validated, it’s like their reassurance meter immediately runs out, which constantly causes them to seek more of it. A venus retrograde individual can usually come in extremes:

Someone who feels as if they are not worthy enough for anyone or anything. So, they tend to become prideful & act as if they don’t need it anyways. They appear cold, detached & self-involved.

Someone who feels as if they are not worthy enough for anyone or anything. So they become desperate & create a habit of constantly needing to prove to others that they are worthy enough to keep around. They act selfless, & insecure.

These are the types of individuals who accept less than what they are worth. For instance—Accepting fewer payment at their workplace, immensely appreciating others for the bare minimum, & undermining their own achievements.

Self-Sabotage, & Ruined Relationships

Venus Retrograde in one’s chart can be extremely detrimental to their relationships & connections with others. It is all because of their underlying belief that they are not worthy of anything great that comes their way in regards to love, & connections. Which can lead to sabotage & negative thought patterns—which can also lead to a failed & disorganized relationship history. It is not so uncommon for Venus Retrograde individuals to undergo connections where they are cheated on, abandoned, treated less than, or put under extremely intense & consequential circumstances to their personal development. They tend to attract partners from their past lives they have unfinished karma with. It might seem as if “the same person with a different face” always comes along in their love life to constantly teach them the same lesson. Over and over again until it clicks—

Since Venus Retrograde comes into extremes. The individual might appear detached, cold, and self-involved in their relationships. It is ironic because no matter how much love these individuals hold & want to give, they might struggle to show it as they might have a fear of abandonment, judgement & rejection. They might be more on the independent side to a point where they are immensely prideful & can’t stand to have a partner who is too attached or gives too much to them. (The types to not want to accept gifts, and might feel the need to give something back in return) It is also possible for them to become codependent, & addictive to their relationships, which soon happens to these individuals as they get comfortable with their significant other. When they are attached & the relationship seems to be going great, they might start to have a negative self-sabotaging thought pattern lead from the fear of their partner leaving them for someone else better, something bad is going to happen, or their partners not truly loving them as much they say or show they do. This can cause them to push their partners away, not trust them easily, or provide for them unnecessary things to make them to stay. For instance: Leo Retrograde Venuses might spoil their partner with money to make sure they stay. Which can affect their financial health & possibly attract people who only want them for money.

These individuals can be extremely picky on who they allow into the lives. It almost seems like they are searching for “The One” they will spend the rest of their life with. This can lead to these individuals rejecting potential lovers, friends, just overall connections of all sorts. They can often be misunderstood by others very often, most of the time.

Internalized Venus & Eccentric Expression

People like to give Venus Retrogrades the reputation of being cold, & rude in the means of love. That is not really the case. It might appear that way, but Venus Retrograde individuals are actually much more Venusian than Venus directs. That is because so much of Venus energy is internalized in them, it causes Venus Retrogrades to feel more of a desire for beauty, love, & connection than others. They probably have bigger hearts than others. They just struggle to fully express it because of this RX. It can be stressful. Keep in mind, Natal Retrogrades can give the individual a stronger need for that specific planet energy. These individuals think about love, beauty & connections all the time. The types of people who very much dream about meeting their soulmate, getting married, having friends, being rich, or being beautiful but can’t take the action to letting it happen. If the energy inside of them becomes a bit overbearing, their energy might manifest in a unhealthy way, like becoming too intense in expressing their feelings & scaring others away. They are immensely caring, & they actually love very deeply & intensively. So intensively that they might constantly take care of their loved ones & be there for them in fear of losing them. (Venus Retrogrades are always losing people so soon) They usually love differently, have different thoughts & values when it comes to love & connections. The types to not believe in marriage, or finds having friends to be “overrated”. Since it is extremes, it is even possible for these individuals to value more superficial things in relationships (looks, money, & reputation might matter more to them because they might believe this is what can make them truly happy) or couldn’t care less about materialistic things in relationships. Their perceptions of values regarding love, & connections are extremely different from others. Which can make them feel misunderstood, or weird.

This retrograde usually creates individuals who feel the strong need to express through artistic abilities like music, painting, fashion, or makeup. Since their sense of beauty, love & pleasure is doubled yet internalized. But some might struggle to actually pursue this need—They might be insecure or embarrassed regarding their talents to make such pleasurable things. So this energy will build up & build up over time, which can lead to an explosive expression which can be a bit overbearing. They might have different perceptions or values when it comes to beauty, and art. The types of people to love dadaism (a type of an eccentric art) It might even create someone who has very, very low or very, very high standards. That one attractive friend who seems to go for guys way out of her league or is not the most conventionally attractive which can cause wandering, confused eyes amongst others? Yeah, that’s Venus Retrograde individuals. It is very different for every one of us but this is the tone of it.

The Childhood Of A Venus Retrograde

In the typical childhood of a Venus Retrograde, they were often the “anti-social kid” or the kid who were more kept to themselves. This retrograde usually gives someone social anxiety or social awkwardness. So maybe in school, it was more harder to make friends, socialize correctly, or developing long-lasting, emotional, fun connections with their family, or peers. This can often cause a feeling of disconnect from people & life. They might not feel “normal” or feel as if it is hard to be a decent human being. They might feel as if it is too much to establish confidence in connections with others. So it might seem as if it is best to isolate themselves from others. Being around others often felt constraining, or they felt as if they had to play some type of facade around others. They might’ve been the types to be afraid of making friends at school because of the constant fear of being rejected, judged, or talked about.

It is possible that these individuals might’ve not had parents who showed lots appreciation, attention, & affection towards them. Which can cause the underlying thought that they are not worthy of being loved. Maybe they even grew up in a distant, cold household. It is common for Venus Retrogrades to maybe have had a parent abandoned them, absent, or had a single parent in the household growing up. These individuals might have had family problems growing up or didn’t feel as connected to their family.

Venus Retrograde kids often were very optimistic about their future regarding their love life & finances. The types to set goals of becoming rich or getting married to a beautiful partner. This usually creates closeted hopeless romantics in childhood. But when they eventually get older, their perceptions & beliefs can change as they become more self-aware & insecure.

Venus Retrograde kids might fall victim to even being insecure in their physical appearance—more noticed in Venus Retrograde females but can be noticed in Venus Retrograde males too. This will lead through in young adulthood too, but more prominent as a teen since we are more conscious when it comes to our physical at this time. There are a few differences regarding between the male & female Venus Retrograde individuals.

- Female Venus Retrograde Kids: Since Venus is a feminine planet alone, the females might have struggled with their femininity. Not feeling pretty, girly, cute, or feminine enough. They couldn't express femininity because of their lack of self-confidence or not feeling as if they are doing it correctly. It could have made them immensely insecure in their appearance while growing up.

- Male Venus Retrograde Kids: Surprisingly, the males seem to be more in touch with their feminine side. They might attract women later in life with hypiing this retrograde energy, but males with this retrograde are very much in tune with their feminine, emotional side than their female counterpart. But they might struggle with not having the best relationships with women while growing up, which can somewhat cause abandonment or vulnerability issues.

Venus Retrograde is very depressing. So it is common for individuals to fall into episodes of depression, or loneliness.

It is also common for Venus Retrograde kids to have struggled with picking up Venusian-like hobbies, even if they wanted to pursue those specific hobbies. For example: A Venus Retrograde girl might have wanted to play with makeup, or try out clothes—but might have fallen short of confidence to do so.....A Venus Retrograde boy might have had an interest in writing music, rapping—but might have been too insecure of his abilities to start doing this. Venus Retrogrades most likely hasn't had their artistic, creative, feminine, or caring side exercised as a kid. It is highly recommended for parents to exercise their Venus Retrograde child's caring, loving & feminine side by letting them do such things like: Giving them a pet to learn natural compassion, allow them to expand to some form of self-expression (like drawing, or experimenting with clothes), or allowing them to participate in social activities to gain social confidence. Most importantly, allowing them to open up & make sure they know that they are loved unconditionally.

Being Happy with Yourself First

As I stated, Venus Retrograde individuals are constantly put into disappointing situations regarding love, friendships, money, or overall connections "over and over again until it clicks"—They need self-love. While Venus Directs mainly needs at least of bit self-love to maintain connections with others, Venus Retrogrades needs a lot of self-love to maintain a connection with themselves. Venus Directs might have the tendencies of not liking themselves, but Venus Retrogrades might have the tendencies of hating themselves. It is very sad to think about. The key advice to this retrograde is recognize your worth, express your femininity confidently & in your own way, stop self-sabotaging & know that you deserve the best (like everyone else). You deserve love. You're loved & cared for. You're beautiful in your own way. You are a good person. You ARE capable of being loved.

Venus Retrograde individuals are not going to get that soulmate they often desire until they learn how to get themselves. A bit of self-love can go a long way. Learning to be happy with yourself can create a strong foundation of "Even if I was alone, I wouldn't mind it because I am happy with myself already." All of these things you want besides yourself is just an addition. It all starts with you.

Loving yourself eventually opens doors to attracting more positive, long-lasting, healthy, & fulfilling connections, sense of inner-happiness & confidence, & living your life unapologetically the way you want to live it.

[caliburn]

Saber Lily (Arturia Pendragon)

                A Review Of: An Honest Opinion on Ritsuka Fujimaru

Upon the subject’s critique this essay will cover upon her actions and include a further statement on it. First, Master is very kind and wears a smile on her face that is like walking out into the spring sunshine after a chilly night. She is always hard-working, but does it with a humble air about her — she never asks or expects payment or recognition, they are acts done out of the goodness of her heart. She claims not to be of any particular importance or possess notable skill, but I believe this is untrue. There are few humans who would be so selfless as her.

But she does get reckless and the lengths of that selflessness can get a bit dangerous. She puts everyone else before herself and won’t rest until all those around are happy. There is no doubt that during the war that befell this city in the spring of 2022, that she did a number of very reckless dangerous things. If she got hurt, she would just walk it off and say that it was nothing big, but to me, that is incorrect.

She is important to humanity, not just because she is its final Master, and we all depend on her, but because she is a precious person who so many Servants love. We care about her as more than just a Master, we love her as a person. She has a spirit that doesn’t waver, no matter what, and a fire in her that never goes out. She stands up to the impossible and shouts defiantly, rallying the very best of the Throne of Heroes to follow her call.

Humanity would be lost without her. Not because she is humanity’s Final Master, but because she is the very best it could produce. ♡

And it goes without saying that all this applies to the male Ritsuka Fujimaru.

When you see them, please be kind to them, as the world itself has a tendency to place an enormous weight upon their shoulders, and not even all of us can make it an easier burden to carry.

And with that fixed to the wall, the girl skips away.

“ehehe~ I called out Master!”

[twistedapple]

On Pomefiore

[Note: Tumblr being Tumblr, I’ll put the links and due credits in a reblog; also, partially under the cut because it’s a bit long]

This post is something that has been brewing for a while now – my more observant followers will know when it started based on a certain tag. To preface this write up, I’d like to precise that I have been motivated in working on it because of the way Pomefiore was being received when I joined the fandom. Since then it has been followed by certain beliefs that – while being qualified as headcanons, which is perfectly fair and fine in itself – tend to be treated as actual gospel. It’s not a thing specific to the Twst fandom mind you, it happens in most fandoms – heck I still keep an eye on the KHR fandom and there are still people regularly making posts about mischaracterisation, and that fandom has been around for at least ten years. So I’m not here to preach, but to clarify a few things regarding what Pomefiore represents as a dorm, as well as provide a comprehensive commentary on its associated characters.

First belief: Pomefiore is the shallow dorm of pretty people.

But is it? The very first thing we learn about Pomefiore is that it’s the dorm of Hard Workers and other Overachievers, right in the prologue. This dorm is presented as built on the hard work of the Fair Queen, and she’s regularly taken as an example of how one should conduct oneself – especially by Vil, who expresses a lot of admiration and respect in his lesson chats, and clearly treats her as a model to follow in order to reach perfection.

Now you may think “but Crow, the very first thing we learn about the students is that they look impeccable and polish their appearance”. And you would be right; it is indeed how the students of that dorm are presented. However, let me expand a bit on this thought by making something clear: there’s what the dorm is defined as, and then there’s the path each dorm leader decides to follow. To give a few examples, we see Riddle follow the rules of the Queen of Heart to the letter, and dole out punishment whenever these rules are broken – to the point it impedes the students, who can’t use their magic in an environment where it is required. We see Leona applying the Might is Right type of thinking, which leads to Savanaclaw students being often depicted as bullies (and let’s not talk about the Magift tournament...). Azul, under the pretence of benevolence, is actually ruthless in the way he binds people to his contracts – it’s also shown that the Leech brothers act as his enforcers, either by forcing people into deals (during exam periods, as shown at the start of Episode 3) or by reclaiming the due payment of the contract in more or less pleasant ways (Jade being the local master manipulator, while Floyd canonically states that he finds the breaking of bones a more efficient method). Are you seeing where this is going? As a dorm leader, Vil applies his own views on his fellow Pomefiore students; his views happen to include appearances because he aims to be perfect in every way and has a professional background that justifies it. Is it fair to go as far as he is going when it comes to pressuring other students? Of course it isn’t, it’s the whole point of showing him slapping Epel for what he deems an inappropriate behaviour (see Epel’s Ceremonial Card). It sets the conflict of the dorm – and I personally dig how this major narrative bit is hidden in a story... Which brings us to the other point, the meta aspect of Pomefiore. It’s based on Snow White, a story that relies heavily... On appearances. Now let me ask you: is it really surprising to have a dorm based on such story have a focus on appearances as well? And we even get to see different aspects of it: Vil focuses on the tiniest details to be as polished as possible, Rook has a deep love for change and fleeting moments, Epel can turn something nobody wants into something highly desirable (carving damaged apples to sell them better). Pomefiore is the dorm of transformations – both literal and metaphorical -, a fascinating concept in my opinion and a brilliant idea for a solid narrative arc.

Second belief: Vil is a horrible, narcissistic person, but he will also play dress-up/makeup

Let’s sit for a second there, because there are many things to unpack. Now, what do we know about the fairest of all dorm leaders? Well, quite a lot, for someone who has yet to properly appear in the main story! The very first thing we learn about him is that he has a whooping 5 million followers on Magicam – which is massive and not a number you reach while sitting on your hands and waiting for something to happen. This is such an impressive number that we even get to see various reactions to it, from being very impressed to trying to use that fame for personal purposes. Through reading the stories in which he appears, we get to learn some interesting things about Vil: generally speaking, he fits perfectly the image of the consummate professional. In Jade’s SSR story, we get a solid peek into his life and the man has a busy schedule. He juggles daily with his duties as a student, a dorm leader, an influencer and a professional model – these things take time and he manages to go from one duty to the other with both the ease of someone who’s used to it and the precise organisation of someone with a solid head on his shoulders as well as an incredibly strong work ethic and drive. Speaking from personal experience with the modelling part and an informed opinion on the influencer part, these two fields alone aren’t easy to handle at all. Being an influencer can be very cutthroat (as a certain beauty community has been demonstrating since last year...), and being a professional model requires a lot of drive and dedication, as well as major self-care in regard to both your body and your mental health, because those are the tools of your trade as a model. In consequence, Vil as a dorm leader focuses on appearances as a result of heavy intellectual work to honour the Fair Queen he so highly respects (he says so in his voicelines: “True beauty is determined by strong intellect. You can always doctor your looks, but your true colors will still shine through right away.”), but Vil as a person is also extremely focused on his appearance because he’s doing his job. It’s not narcissism, it’s professionalism. And with his Ceremonial Robes story, we even get to learn that he was ostracised in his hometown for being a performer, yet he kept going and working to reach his goals. For someone who’s only 18 years old, this is an exceptional display of drive, discipline and maturity.

Vil has the highest standards for himself, but because he comes from pretty damn far, he also expects other people to be capable of showing the same degree of determination to achieve their goals. He expresses that in various ways, from being openly displeased with Leona’s general negligence (with Ruggie doing all the work in the background – see Leona’s school uniform story and Ruggie’s lab coat story), to being unimpressed by the new Pomefiore students and getting ready to whip them in a shape he’ll deem desirable as soon as he lays his eyes on them. He’s also highly critical of people going for the easy way out: in his school uniform story, he not only criticises Cater for trying to use him for his own five seconds of fame by buttering him up, but he also emphasises the fact that his services aren’t free. Emphasis on that: Vil isn’t a charity. He isn’t the sort of person with whom you’ll mutually brush your hair while sharing smoothie recipes. Rook is more likely to be the one up to that sort of thing, because Rook is nice and a good senior (see: Rook’s ceremonial robes story). Vil, on the other hand, encourages a lot to try and learn on your own, to use your own head in order to create your own brand (see his lab coat voicelines). He’ll be more enclined to help only after you started doing a part of the job independently and showed you can think and act for yourself. And even then, he’ll likely kick your ass to push you to keep up, because behind all the sparkles and lustre Vil is very much depicted as an overbearing Drill Sergeant. Like I pointed out earlier, it’s heavily hinted that he didn’t get where he is by waiting for good fortune to come by. He works for his success daily and expects other people to do the same. Does it seem like a rather unfair treatment? Sure, but at the same time it provides a great learning opportunity for those willing to put up with it, and Vil offers it in a surprisingly selfless manner: there is an open concern about the way people present themselves, and how they can do it to be their best self at all time.

Interestingly, it creates a peculiar dynamic with his vice dorm leader, Rook. There’s a constant sway between them, with Vil bluntly telling him he can be easily replaced if he fails in his duties, while still relying on him more than Rook relies on him in return – in fact, Rook pretty much follows his own path, and Vil happens to be a very nice view along that path so Rook decided to stop and hang out for a bit, but he still checks his surroundings for other nice views. So while Rook puts up with Vil’s tight requirements (see Rook’s ceremonial robes story, where Floyd cleverly observes that he doesn’t seem that fond of the perfume Vil created for him and forces him to wear during ceremonies), he’s also the one taking actual charge of the new students (see when he checks on Epel in his ceremonial robes story, or when he offers his support during the Ghost Marriage event) and trying to smooth things out when Vil is being too rough (see Vil’s ceremonial robes story). Interestingly, it leads to a communication issue between these two, fueled by what looks very much like a unilateral dependant relationship on Vil’s part, no matter how much he denies it. He rejects Rook through threats of replacing him, yet fully trusts his eyes and sincerity, yet this very sincerity is the reason why Vil doesn’t fully open up to Rook (see Vil’s lab coat story, he goes to Trey to vent about Rook’s lack of consideration) and uses a Harsh Commanding Queen attitude to hide his own insecurities from the eyes of the person who can see them best. It’s likely not helped by the fact that Vil is aware that he needs Rook more than Rook needs him – it’s obvious when reading the latter’s profile: Rook likes his privacy, and while he keeps putting his nose in other people’s business (not out of malice, but genuine curiosity), he’s notoriously deemed annoying by characters like Leona and Malleus because of his overly curious yet inconsiderate nature. There’s a selfishness in Rook which protects him from getting fully controlled by Vil, I’ll repeat myself here but I’d rather insist on that: Rook willingly decided to follow Vil, it means he has the power to refuse him as well (which is very much like... Oh, the Huntsman in Snow White – though in his case specifically, there’s also variations in which his family is held hostage and all, while Rook makes his own decisions).

This entire situation is heavily fueled by Vil’s need for control. As aforementioned, he focuses on the tiniest details and holds complete control over everything that makes his life what it is: from the type of makeup he picks to every single component used in the meals he prepares himself, Vil has a clear need for full control, and it’s reflected in the way he interacts with other students, as well as in the way he handles even his club activities. Vil isn’t just a model, influencer and even actor, in the film study club he works as a director and in one of his stories (lab coat), he’s even shown to create the special effects himself, because only he can provide for his own desires in the most exact fashion. This is where his little “I can replace you easily” becomes funny, because it translates his need for control without really holding since Rook is the one with the most agency in the relationship. In comparison, in Silver’s PE uniform story, Silver is treated like a pawn and Vil even berates Malleus in front of him because Silver dares deny him (how dare he have his own agency instead of being a nice prop who should feel honoured to be selected). Interestingly, Silver also compares Vil’s way of doing things to something martial. AhemDrillSergeantVilahem. In this story, the interesting point is that things finally start working well when Vil stops considering his own vision and decides to look beyond it a bit: taking Silver’s actual abilities into consideration, he finally has a scene that works. It works because he loosened the control a bit – while Silver went along with it but remained vocal the whole time about where his own skills lie.

While the relationship between Vil and Rook, as well as Vil and the rest of the Pomefiore dorm, have been holding through a quietly tense status quo, there is one pebble - dare I say, one potato - who is more than willing to challenge the whole situation through open defiance and a strong will: Epel. He has been set by the narration to be the catalyst to an incoming breaking point, because he wants to live his life to the beat of his own drum, yet remains a teen still in need of a journey of self-discovery. It’s illustrated in how he misunderstands the point of Pomefiore by only looking at the surface - something Vil reproaches, which is why he even talks about his need for more self-awareness in the lesson chats. Of course, Vil uses his own language (beauty) to get his point across, but the underlying point is that Epel has yet to reach a certain degree of self-realisation - such as the fact he is free to try and work hard to become beefier (Vil wouldn’t object as long as he puts in the necessary efforts), or that he is a good fit in Pomefiore because he has the drive to reach his goals and gives himself the means to do so (high awareness, anyone?). Basically, he’s the example of Vil’s communication issues: Vil’s martial nature tends to drown the actual meaning of his motivational speeches. Paradoxically, when dealing with someone like Epel, it actually fuels the teen through spite, which is both comical and quite impressive given Epel’s results (reminder of his own lab coat story, in which he manages to impress Crewel, a man made from the same fabric as Vil, with his formidable results through hard work). However, this form of motivation isn’t healthy, and just like with Rook, a good, long talk is needed to create a better understanding - instead of forcing his Tyranny of Beauty on others.

Bonus point, because I really want to address it

For some time now, I’ve been vocal about my personal feelings regarding the reception of Pomefiore and its characters. While it became more positive since June, it still tends to miss the point for a reason I’d like to address: the Not Like The Other Girls mentality and how it specifically affects the way Vil and his own femininity are perceived.

While I am not invalidating this thinking as part of a larger growth process, I think it has been unfairly used against Pomefiore. In a way, it’s very much the way Epel reacts: it’s just a Pretty People Dorm led by an Annoying Pretty Boy, and Savanaclaw is cooler. However, this is not only superficial, it puts a judgement of value that means that one has to be put down for the other to shine. In other words, Vil as a character is undervalued because his way of life - which matches traditionally feminine occupations, hell he’s even using a feminine pronoun - has been associated with vanity, narcissism, and superficiality by the fandom. To get my point across, let me provide you with quotes from some of our most brilliant minds:

“Woman wants to be independent […] this is one of the worst developments in the general uglification of Europe. Woman has so much reason for shame; in woman there is concealed so much superficiality, petty presumption and petty immodesty – one needs only to study her behaviour with children!” - Nietzsche

“What is truth to a woman? From the very first nothing has been more alien, repugnant, inimical to woman than truth - her great art is the lie, her supreme concern is appearance and beauty” - Nietzsche (again)

“A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” - Oscar Wilde 

“All the pursuits of men are the pursuits of women also, but in all of them a woman is inferior to a man.” - Plato

“As regards the sexes, the male is by nature superior and the female inferior, the male ruler and the female subject” - Aristotle

Do you see where I’m going with that? Because he has an occupation focused on appearance, something historically associated with women, Vil should be… Less? Should be negative? Even though he is quite vocal about it being a mere result of a much deeper work on himself, throughout his voicelines, lesson chats and personal stories? It’s not vanity, it’s not narcissism. It’s Vil expressing himself through the age old art forms of fashion, skincare and makeup. How, and why it being focused on something external should be less? It’s especially obvious when you stop and consider Vil’s own testimony: he has been ostracized by his own community for being a performer. His appearance is as much a mask as it is a proof of everything that preceded it – him saving himself with his own means and work. It’s both a protection and a result that he proudly brandishes – and he absolutely can afford the arrogance to do so, considering his achievements at such a young age (reminder, again, that he’s 18 years old, despite being very disillusioned with life already). Why should it be less that? Vil’s inclination towards appearances is both his truth and his fiction, that’s what the narrative tells us - and there’s nothing bad about that.

I guess I’m especially tired of this point because I’ve had to deal with that thinking pattern myself irl, for evolving in similar fields/similar hobbies, and it’s frustrating to see that sort of close mindedness. It’s infuriating. So, that’s a more personal aspect of my rant... But here we are.

[herewithstupid]

Whewwwwww, was reminded of one of my LEAST favorite forms of manipulation today.

Gonna talk about my grandpa for a moment. I come from a relatively middle class family- not ‘wealthy’, but grandparents helped make sure that we never really struggled for much unless my parents pride was on the line. Now my grandpa was the type that loved giving gifts/money. I learned really quickly not to ask for anything, because if I did, I would get it.

“Seems like a strange problem to have, Stu,” I hear you saying. “Your grandpa wanted to spoil you? Isn’t that a luxury most people wish they had?”

Honestly yeah, of the problems out there like, idk, getting arrested for things out of my control or not being able to afford food- this REALLY is a luxury, first world ‘problem’. So please take my complaints with a relative grain of salt. The main problem came from my inability to accept gifts or express needs for a long time because of this.

See, the definition of a gift is “a thing given willingly to someone without payment”. Payment is not always in the form of money- I may pay someone for a car repair for example by offering an exchange and repairing their carpet. Payment can come in the form of work, money, action, etc. 

So in actuality, my grandpa never gave me ‘gifts’, because they did not come with no strings attached. Money is how he pulled the strings and maintained control in our relatively unhealthy family while maintaining a nice outward view for the world. Guilt trips, bribes- when I went to college, he tried essentially buying his way into my bank account and having me give him the password so that he could keep track of my spending. Gas cards were given with the intention of tracking where I was going. I’ve been screamed at over the phone because he helped me with a home repair- and then I acted ‘out of line’. There were attempts to discourage me from self-sufficiency and “not to worry, he would take care of me”.

Down the line, this led to an inherent mistrust of any gift, whether it be from friend, significant others... basically anyone unless it was completely anonymous and no way to know who the person was- because an anonymous person can’t hold it over my head. I still have a rather bitter belief in my heart that “nothing is truly free”- which really is an excuse to try to close my heart and make out the world as my enemy, when it really comes down to taking an active role in whole I let into my life and maintaining boundaries. A recognition that the world isn’t good or evil- that there are just sick people in it. 

And while the examples I used with my grandpa are obviously extreme- the point of this is the same. If your ‘gift’ can be taken back at any time, if your gift has strings attached, if your gift comes with expectations, then you have no right calling that thing a gift.

This form of manipulation is popular because it does two things. One, it strokes the ego of the person giving the ‘gift’. They get to feel charitable, get to build this narration in their head of being kind hearted, a great friend/family member/lover, selfless and thoughtful, while ignoring their true, less kind intentions. 

My grandpa has control issues, likely stemming from fear (like most defects do). In a life he felt out of control in, where he knew best how everyone should act if they would just do what they were supposed to, this gave the ability for him to gain control over the people in his life. If they were to reject it, it seems ungrateful. It gave him the ability to paint himself as the misunderstood, generous soul- when really all it came down to was making sure a person felt an obligation to ‘act’ how he believed they should and to be able to guilt a person when they stepped out of line of what he believed they should be doing.

And people do this. All. The. Time.

So,

For those of you who have had this happen to you- you should not feel guilty. You are not responsible for a sick person’s actions. And I’m using ‘sick’, because I don’t think lots of people are ‘evil’. I think they are people who don’t know how to cope with the world around them, and are attempting to stay afloat by whatever means they have, even if it means hurting those in their immediate sphere. And if you realize they’ve been manipulating you like this, you have every right to feel hurt, disgusted, violated- all of it. 

For what it’s worth, as some small comfort, they very rarely are doing it ‘at’ you, even if it seems like it. Yes they may intentionally hurt you. But they do this to everyone, because this behavior is all they have. A person who’s only tool is a hammer will use the hammer- even if it destroys the very foundation and network supporting them. And they will be upset at the support network for breaking- because in their mind, what other choice did they have if that was their only tool?

And honestly for everyone, I encourage taking a step back and pausing before you give someone something. Check your expectations. Pause and really consider what you are hoping to accomplish. If it’s to receive something- whether it be a favor, emotional support, validation, a check to be cashed in later, then pause and think about WHY.

I am guilty of this years ago. I would do favors and over-extend myself as a ‘friend’, because in reality, I couldn’t support myself and I wanted to build a safety net of people that felt obligated to take care of me. Understandably, these friends of mine did not like feeling manipulated, and distanced themselves as they should have. It fed into my woe-is-me martyr syndrome of how I was this amazing person that no one understood, and how no one in the world really understood me. 

What are you so afraid of that you have to try to use people in your life and control them in an attempt to protect yourself? 

Because so long as your ‘good’ actions are tainted with attempts to manipulate people in your own self interest, you’ll find your ‘kind’ actions blowing up in your face. I consider it like a Midas’s touch. You’ll sit and wonder why no one wants to be your friend- without acknowledging that your friendship caused more harm than good. It’s not your responsibility to change a person to how you think they ‘should’ be. 

Only to decide whether or not you can accept them exactly as they are on their own journey (wherever that is), and how much of that person you want to allow into your life. The only person you should work on changing and manipulating into a ‘better’ person, is yourself. 

And when it comes to giving gifts, and honestly, interacting with people in general, give only what you can live without having replaced. 

And my personal motto that I’ve always felt better living by: Give without remembering, and receive without forgetting.

[sepublic]

King’s encouragement to Luz

           All right, but another thing I very much appreciate about Really Small Problems is… I think King is the first person to actively, openly tell Luz how much he likes her, and how much she means to him???

           I could be wrong. But throughout the show up until then, I don’t think we really ever have such a bold, blunt statement from anyone else; And obviously, actions speak a lot louder in words in their own way. Eda acts all cool and stand-offish, but clearly Luz means the world to her… And obviously Willow and Gus freaking LOVE Luz, even if they don’t say it outright!

           But I think King is the first person to tell Luz how much she means to him… To basically tell her that she means THE WORLD to him, that his relationship with her isn’t just some side-hobby or a lesser enjoyment; It’s legit one of the things that makes his entire world and existence! That he really WOULD give up a lot for her, that Luz actively takes priority in his life instead of being another friendship on the side!

           Keep in mind; Aside from Camila, who’s her own mother anyway… I think Luz never really got this sort of open affection from someone, prior to the Boiling Isles? She didn’t even have any real friends, and this kind of loneliness and rejection for being ‘weird’ definitely impacted her… It’s definitely led to Luz being someone who will do so much and everything for others, but never expecting the same back; Not JUST because she’s selfless and unconditional… But also because she doesn’t expect other people to like her, at least not that much! Subconsciously, without meaning to, I think Luz sees herself as a ‘second choice’ when it comes to friendship… That most people only hang out with her because they have no other option!

           (And THAT parallels how I low-key saw Eda viewing her relationship with Luz, up until the girl stuck around after learning of the curse, but I digress.)

           Luz doesn’t expect other people to hold her THAT high in regard, as having THAT much priority in their lives… Because no one else did. Even her own mother, who DID mean well, ultimately spoke with her actions when sending Luz to that Reality Camp; That she doesn’t unconditionally love Luz for who she is, that she holds the approval of society in higher regard and THAT means more to her… And while Camila never intended to say this and she’s obviously in an unenviable position, from Luz’s perspective this is still a devastating thing to go through.

           I think Luz low-key saw herself as someone who may have even burdened her mother with her presence; And even if Camila never felt that, Luz is still a child who’s reasonably insecure. Maybe Luz felt the need to be more ‘accommodating’ to others, in the hopes that she wouldn’t turn them away; That she can’t openly vouch for what SHE wants, because she can’t be greedy in life, she doesn’t actually mean THAT much to people, and them hanging around her is already showing a lot of grace as-is! Luz probably thought she should just be grateful to have companionship at all to begin with; Especially since it was such a rare commodity back home.

           So there’s this implicit idea and expectation of herself to do what others say, what others expect of you… Because they’re already sacrificing a lot just hanging around someone as annoying and inconvenient as you. Don’t ask for too much, just be a grateful, accommodating child/friend… Do what you can to make up for the kindness of people who go out of their way to hang out with someone like you, because clearly that’s a detriment and not something they actively do for their own enjoyment! And even if they DO do it for their enjoyment, Luz still isn’t that special to them…!

           And that might also tie into Luz’s obliviousness to Amity’s crush, as secretly, deep-down to an extent that not even SHE is aware of it… I think Luz sees herself as someone unlovable, as someone who has to justify people’s enjoyment of her, make herself ‘worth it’ to them! That others’ friendship to her is a pure gift, in the sense that they’re not getting much else from Luz herself, because obviously Luz doesn’t have a lot to offer that others don’t already do. She really undersells her own worth and how much she can mean to others… It leads to Luz wanting the best for others, but without really considering what SHE wants, or HER placement in their life, because it’s all about THEM as her childhood taught her! Some people are probably better off without her, without Luz actively hindering or dragging them down…

           That leads to Really Small Problems. King shrinks her friends, Willow and Gus? CLEARLY it means King is doing this out of spite because he actively dislikes them and/or is being selfish… Because Luz never considers that she really means this much to King, that she means SO much that King prioritizes his friendship with her over all others! Obviously, I’m not saying love should be ‘ranked’ or put into a hierarchy, with some friendships held over others…

           And, it’s low-key this mentality that leads to King even indulging in the accidental effects of Tibbles (sorry, Obvioso’s) potion. But the fact that he even values Luz this much, to do this sort of thing, to cut off any other possible relationship because he holds her in THAT high of a regard… It tells Luz that she’s someone whose presence is actively enjoyable, that being with her IS the gift that she keeps on giving! Luz doesn’t have to justify or make up for who she is, because being with Luz is what people actively desire; Moreso than a lot of other things, in fact!

           Not to mention, it’s a brilliant call-back to Sense and Insensitivity, another King-centric episode! In that episode, Luz tells King at the end that HE means a lot to her, that being with him is one of the best parts of her adventure in the Boiling Isles… But she never expects him to say the same to her, not because she thinks King is a bad person, but because she really doesn’t value what she has to give or offer, as someone who probably has messed up a lot and requires a lot of patience to be around? Luz likely sees herself as a draining friend, that after a short while someone has enough of her and then has to go off and do literally anything else… She doesn’t realize that she’s someone who gives enjoyment, that she isn’t just tolerated but loved! Luz learns from King in Really Small Problems that his specific relationship with her means something to special to him, that it’s not just replacable and interchangeable, and he’d actively sabotage his other potential friendships for it!

           And obviously, THAT last part is a bad thing; But King also acknowledges this as well, as part of his character development of course! Obviously King doing this because he truly loves and values Luz doesn’t excuse it… In the same way that Camila loving Luz, or Lilith loving Eda, doesn’t excuse what they did. But King at least makes the effort to be honest about his love, about where he DID go wrong, and then change it… And obviously it helps that the situation became life-threatening and thus pressured him to do this, a lot more quickly for him (within the span of a night) than for Lilith (who had decades before Belos threatened to execute her).

           But in the end, I should mention that King doesn’t just act like him doing this because he loves Luz that much automatically excuses it; From his perspective, that was never in question, it was about allowing Willow and Gus to be friends with Luz that needed to be acknowledge! But from Luz’s perspective… It better helps her understand WHY King did what he did, while also enhancing how meaningful it is for King to actively apologize and make up for his mistakes. Just knowing she means this much to him helps Luz realize that she IS worth loving, that she’s lovable… And that in turn makes her so much happier and confident as a person!

           That people would WANT to be with Luz… that they’d actively choose her over ‘better’ options, just as Luz and King chose to hang with Eda even after the curse, because even though that arguably made her dangerous and a liability… Eda just meant that much to them! Luz isn’t to King his ‘least painful’ option, she’s the one he loves and cares for most! King making it clear that Luz is one of the best things about his life, is a brilliant call-back and tie-in to Luz doing the same back in Sense and Insensitivity… Because now BOTH of them realize how much they mean to one another, and how much it says that they’re good, lovable people who have a lot to offer and don’t need to actively justify their existence or companionship with others! Just being with these two is already enough…

          Why else would Eda hang around, after all? King may have understood this, although I think Luz potentially had some doubts because she didn’t want to set herself up for disappointment… Eda always being rather closed-off and tsundere when it comes to showing affection possibly contributed, amidst her not being one for blatantly-open gestures of affection. But also, maybe Luz was low-key afraid that Eda was merely tolerating her… Because Eda had the power in the Owl House here. Luz and King chose Eda and that means a lot because they could’ve had ‘other options’, but it’s not like Eda has anyone else to choose from between Luz and King…

          Well besides Lilith, but Luz mostly knows that Eda’s dislike of the Coven System is keeping them from reuniting, like Lilith she doesn’t fully understand that there’s more to the divide than just that. Plus, Lilith actively rejected Eda’s lifestyle, so it’s not like she’s an ‘option’ for Eda… Eda bears with Luz and King, because who else does she have? And while King may or may not have such doubts, perhaps Luz was afraid that Eda’s love for her was also conditional… Hence why she felt like she ‘owed’ Eda and thus had to risk her life to get the Healing Hat, just to pay her back for all of the other gracious things she did! Because Luz didn’t realize that just being with the girl was already ‘payment’ enough for Eda.

           And THAT ties into another meta/analyses post I made, about how Eda made sure to remind Luz when they reunited in YBOS about how much the girl means to her, that Luz doesn’t owe her anything and that Eda’s decisions are her own, not necessarily as a begrudgingly-obligated reaction to Luz’s mistakes or whatever… Actions speak a lot louder than words, usually, as shown with how Eda clearly loved Luz even before she outright said it; But let’s be real here, words also certainly do a lot to help, especially to tie off the previous actions that people do for one another out of love! By the end of Season 1, Luz fully affirms her relationships with King and Eda respectively, and vice-versa; That they really mean THAT much to one another, and would give the world for each other…

          That each would sacrifice a lot, just for the sake of being with the other, or even seeing the other be happy with or without them; Which ties into how King was willing to risk his life to fix his mistakes in Really Small Problems, outright saying he was fine with losing Luz’s friendship (either by dying or through rejection), because at least Luz would be happy! And it’s this kind of selfless, unconditional love that they show for one another… Not just to enjoy the other, but to let the other enjoy themselves as their own individual, regardless of whether or not Luz/King/Eda is with them to benefit from their presence!

           It’s a beautiful kind of love… That not only is just being with YOU the end-goal and reward for me; But you mean so much to me, that I just want you to be happy, regardless of whether or not I’m there to enjoy you or not! I love you to an extent where it’s no longer about what you do to make me happy, it’s about just seeing you be happy… It’s about you, not me! And it means so muchto Luz, Eda, and King to hear this from one another. It does so much to affirm their confidence and self-esteem in themselves as people who are worth loving, as people who aren’t inherently screw-ups, and as people who can continue to make their own decisions and relationships on their own, as their own worthwhile individuals! It tells each of them that they’re perfectly valid in loving themselves…

           TL;DR Really Small Problems is actually a very underrated episode; As-is King and the surprising amount of depth and growth to his character! I would even argue that it’s the culmination of his growth in Season 1! Obviously Enchanting Grom Fright and King’s reconciliation with Gus helps to cap off this development as an addendum, while subsequent episodes have King as either a minor character, or in the case of the Season Finale, affirming the growth he’s had… Regardless, it’s an episode that actually means a lot for King, and like him it deserves a lot more appreciation as being more than just ‘enjoyable’, or cute and funny, but actually meaningful as well!

[uk-news-talking-politics]

The hidden shame of Priti Patel's asylum policy

By Tim Farron

I got a letter from Priti Patel the other day, in which she expressed her satisfaction that some of the most vulnerable people in the UK today are living on less than £40 a week.

This group of people are finding this a time of intense struggle, yet most of us don't even notice they exist and they are recognised only grudgingly by the authorities. These are individuals and families who have fled to the UK from dangers faced in their home countries, seeking safety and sanctuary on our shores. They have applied to the government for asylum and are awaiting a decision from the Home Office. If they are destitute or about to become destitute, they are provided with accommodation – usually a house share, outside London and the south east.

The decision-making process is supposed to take about six months, but Home Office figures from March 2020 show that nearly 60% of people have been waiting for more than six months, in a limbo-like existence.

These asylum seekers are not entitled to work while they are waiting. Neither are they entitled to claim benefits such as Universal Credit. Instead they are given asylum support allowance. In June the government decided to raise this allowance by £1.85 per week, to the princely sum of £39.60 per person per week. From this – less than £6 per day for each individual – they are expected to meet all their costs apart from accommodation.

To put this in context, the chancellor raised the basic level of Universal Credit by £20 per week. The basic element for a single claimant over 25 is now just under £95 per week. This was back in March. And twelve weeks later, as an afterthought, we see this almost laughable increase for asylum support.

Before you come back at me with the argument that these are not British citizens and do not deserve support from the UK government, let us remember that under the UN Convention on Refugees they are permitted to be here while their asylum applications are being considered.  They are here because they are unable to live safely in their home countries and in many cases are victims of torture, trafficking, sexual abuse and trauma that many of us cannot even imagine.

There was a time when we treated our asylum seekers better than we do now.  Asylum support levels never used to fall below 70% of mainstream welfare benefits. But this recent increase means asylum support is now just 42% of the basic Universal Credit payment.

The home secretary's response to my concerns was that "this increase is substantially more than general inflation year-on-year", so she was "satisfied that the increase will ensure that asylum seekers are able to meet their essential living needs". She is correct that they will receive accommodation, healthcare and education for their children in addition to this amount. But my point still stands. The amount they receive to feed themselves and their families, and to look after their basic needs, is pitiful. It sends a powerful message about the way we treat those seeking sanctuary on our shores.

Why does the government regard this group of people with such resentment? Years of opposition to immigration by populist organisations and from within the Tory party means that ministers find it almost anathema to treat anyone arriving at our borders with dignity. It's not considered good politics.

In normal times, refugee families have managed to survive by depending on support from local churches and community organisations, which have provided food, clothes and toys. But lockdown meant this support was greatly reduced. Libraries closed, so it was harder to access wifi to maintain communication with family, or enable their children to do home schooling. We have to expect that this situation will continue on and off for at least the next year as local lockdowns take place.

For all these reasons, costs are increasing for these families. But because they have no official status yet in this country, they are deemed to have fewer needs and to be able to survive on far less than a person on Universal Credit.

I feel ashamed by this.  At a time when we are defining what Britain outside of the EU will be, don't we want to have an identity that we can be proud of? Shouldn't we want to be able to point to a legacy of providing sanctuary that will inspire and motivate generations that follow us? Do we really want this grubby small-mindedness to paint the picture of who we are?

The covid emergency has brought out the best and the worst in us.  Some go shopping for their neighbours in need, some go shopping their neighbours to the police. Acts of selflessness and selfishness can pour from the same heart – mine included, which is why we need constantly to consider our motives and be ready to self-rebuke.

Does being a good neighbour stretch beyond our street and the people who look like us? Are our communities able to be welcoming to those who are not currently 'one of us'? Can we find it within us to imagine how we would want to be treated if it was our family seeking sanctuary and offered only dregs?

Many of these families are from black or minority ethnic communities. Treating them decently shows we understand that Black Lives Matter, that we've learned the lessons of the Windrush scandal. The government should consider carefully how it treats everyone living in our society.

We can show the world the kind of Britain we want to be. This is the Britain I want to be part of: one that recognises neighbours in need, cares for them and welcomes them.

[cupcakezys]

Geraskier, Kissing Prompt #5😉

@aeonthedimensionalgirl thank you for this! Sorry it took me a bit, life hasn't really given me a lot of opportunity to write. :( But this was super fun! I loved the prompt (angry kisses yessss) and I thought it was a great way to write my first Witcher fic. I hope you enjoy!

From this ask game.

It’s also on AO3 if you prefer to read there. :)

5 - Angry Kiss.

Jaskier wasn’t sure what beast it was Geralt had been sentto face this time. He’d been passing through a random, tiny village on his way northwhen he heard someone whisper about the White Wolf. He’d immediately stoppedand turned, interest peaked. He hadn’t seen Geralt for some months now, and hewould have been lying if he’d said he wasn’t curious as to what his old friendhad been up to.

He hadn’t been surprised when the villagers had told him Geralthad agreed to help them get rid of a monster that had been attacking them.

He’d been getting details, trying to figure out where Geralthad gone, when an old man had interrupted them.

“It doesn’t matter where he went bard.” He had said. “He’sdead, same as all the others that have gone after the beast.”

Jaskier had scoffed. They didn’t know his Geralt. He was awitcher, after all, and defeating monsters was kind of his whole thing. He wasfine.

Then the old man had chuckled. “He’s been ripped to piecesbard, just like the last three witchers we sent after it.”

Jaskier had tensed, the edge of worry biting at his heart. Hehadn’t known they’d hired other witchers before. That those witchers hadfailed.

“You’re just going to get yourself killed alongside himbard.” The old man warned, even as he pointed Jaskier in the right direction.

Jaskier had ignored him. He didn’t know Geralt. He wasstronger than anyone Jaskier had ever met, and he couldn’t imagine anythingtaking him down.

Not that that had stopped him from rushing to the last placethe villagers had seen Geralt.

Now Jaskier was wondering around the forest, half out of hismind with worry and trying to pretend he wasn’t. Geralt wasn’t supposed to be far– the beast lived in a cave close to the village, and it only left on thenights it chose to attack. Jaskier found it easily – and with it he found boththe monster and Geralt lying, unmoving, in the clearing just outside the cavesentrance.

“Oh shit.” Jaskier breathed. “Oh fuck.”

He ran towards Geralt, not sparing the monster a secondglance. Geralt’s silver sword was thrust deep into its neck – it was dead. Hiseyes were on Geralt and Geralt only. The witcher was lying on his front, facedaway from Jaskier, and Jaskier couldn’t see him breathing.

He was by Geralt’s side in an instant, not even sure how hegot there, shoving the man in an attempt to roll him over. When he finallymanaged to get him on his back he couldn’t hold back a gasp. Geralt wasbreathing, but just barely, and three ragged claw marks ran from his rightshoulder all the way down to the opposite hip. It was bleeding sluggishly, andjudging by the pile growing on the forest floor, it had been for a while.

“Shit.” Jaskier said again, shaking Geralt slightly. “Geralt.Geralt! Come on, wake up!”

The witcher didn’t move, didn’t even groan, and Jaskierfought to swallow back his fear.

His eyes widened.

Swallow.

“Okay.” He jerked upright, reluctant to leave Geralt butknowing he had to. “Don’t you dare die on me Geralt.”

He turned and ran, desperately peering through the trees ashe went. He knew it wouldn’t be far – Geralt never set up camp far from wherehe battled his contracts.

“Roach!” He yelled when he finally caught sight of the camp.“Roach where are you?”

He heard the horse shuffling about at the edge of the camp, happilymunching on some grass, and could have cried. He ran to her, ignoring her greetingnudges in favour of rummaging in her saddle bag. It took him a minute – toolong, far too long – to find it, and when he did he ran immediately backto Geralt’s side.

“Geralt!” He yelled, getting no answer, though he didn’texpect one.

Geralt was lying exactly where he had been before, stillhardly breathing and bleeding out. Jaskier fell to his knees beside him. Hishands shook as he wrestled with the bottle’s cap, and for a heart stoppingmoment he feared he would spill the sallow all over the forest floor. He grithis teeth and managed to pull himself together enough to pour the healingpotion down Geralt’s throat.

Jaskier sat back on his heels, watching Geralt’s chestintently.

“Come on.” He muttered, again and again, waiting forsomething, anything to change.

When Geralt’s breathing eased into something less like awhisper, and Jaskier could see the blood slowly stop weeping from his wounds,he knew he had to act. He pushed himself back to his feet, determined to findRoach and get Geralt back to the village so the stupid man could heal somewherethat wasn’t the forest floor. It was the least he could do, after everythingGeralt had done for him.

///

The inn owner allowed them to stay free of charge, providingthem with everything they needed for Geralt to heal. They said it was paymentfor what he had done for them, and Jaskier agreed, though to him they owedGeralt much more. He’d saved the lives of everyone in the village and almostlost his own in the process – providing him with a place to heal was the veryleast they could do.

They should be singing Geralt’s praises and lining up togive him gifts of gratitude, in Jaskier’s humble opinion, but no one ever askedhim. Not that it really mattered. Jaskier sung Geralt’s praises any chance hegot, and Geralt didn’t much care for gifts. Not unless they were for Roach, theselfless bastard.

“Jaskier.” Geralt ground out, in the very early hours oftheir second day in the inn, startling Jaskier out of the doze he had falleninto. “Where’s Roach?”

Selfless bastard. Of course the first thing out of his mouthafter almost dying and spending days unconscious would be concern for his horse.

“She’s in the stables, probably being treated better than weare. The children love her.” Jaskier crossed his arms over his chest. “Notgoing to ask why I’m here? Or how you got into this nice, lovely bed instead ofdying out on the hard forest floor?”

Geralt groaned and rolled away from him to face the wall.“Hmm.”

“I’ll tell you.” Jaskier said. “I was wandering my way north,spreading my songs to those unfortunate few that have yet to hear me, when Iheard rumours of a witcher passing through the nearby town. And lo and behold,when I get here, I’m told the White Wolf has gone to face a monster that hadkilled anyone else that tried to kill it.”

“It was just a contract.” Geralt said gruffly.

Jaskier spluttered, disbelieving. “Just a- three witchersdied trying to kill that thing! You almost died!”

Geralt didn’t seem to care. Which, knowing Geralt, he didn’tcare about himself, but knowing that didn’t make Jaskier any less angry atthe man. He cared about him, damn it.  And while he didn’t normally have to worry,knowing Geralt had faced a monster that had bested other witchers was enough toset him just a tiny bit on edge.

And maybe just a little out of his mind with worry.

“Damn it Geralt!” He said, standing up and glaring down atthe man.

“What?” Geralt grunted, forcing himself upright.

“What is wrong with you?” He yelled. “You almost died- youwould have died if I hadn’t found you! And you don’t even care!”

Geralt stared at him, calm, and it made Jaskier’s bloodboil. “I’m a witcher Jaskier. Fighting is what I do. Dying is always apossibility.”

Jaskier grit his teeth. “I know that! But you could still carefor yourself, at least a little!”

Geralt said nothing, and Jaskier felt his temper snap. Helaunched forward and grabbed Geralt’s tunic, though he was still mindful of hisinjuries. He intended to drag him forward and yell at his stupid, pretty face untilhe actually started to care about himself at least a little bit.

He managed the first half. He pulled Geralt forward, untilthey were nose to nose, but then Jaskier got distracted by the gold of Geralt’seyes, and then the white of his hair, messy and loose without it’s tie, andthen his lips, as kissable as they’d been the very first time they’d met, and suddenlythat was all Jaskier could think about.

And then he was kissing Geralt.

It wasn’t the type of kiss Jaskier normally gave, filledwith passion and desire. There was some of that, certainly. But it was almostentirely lost underneath the anger Jaskier could still feel bubbling in hisgut, the anger borne from worry and fear and maybe, possibly, a little bit oflove.

Geralt was frozen underneath him for a moment before he startedkissing him back fiercely, with none of the anger and all of the passionJaskier had imagined they would share when they finally kissed. It made himangrier, impossibly, and he pulled away with a growl.

“Stop almost dying.” He said, no, commanded, no room forargument.

Geralt swallowed, sighed, and shook his head. “I can’t.”

And Jaskier felt like crying, because he knew. He knewGeralt could never turn his back on someone that needed him, no matter howdangerous it may be. It wasn’t who he was.

And so their second kiss was only a little lessangry, but by their seventh Jaskier thought maybe he could forgive his selfless,idiotic witcher.

-

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[pastelzodiac]

The Most Manipulative Thing Each Zodiac Sign Does.

You might not even be aware of it.

Everybody has the ability to manipulate others to get the things they want. You may not be aware that you're manipulating someone, or you may know exactly what you're doing.

Some people are easily manipulated, while others have more of a resistance. Narcissists are major manipulators and only have their own interests at heart, though they will definitely pretend they're being selfless.

Astrology can make things complicated, as the most manipulative zodiac signs can be just about anyone.

And depending on specific personality traits, the manipulative things each sign does varies greatly from one person to the next.

If your partner is prone to laziness and the only way you can get them active is to manipulate them, is it wrong? It's in their best interests, after all.

The problem is that if you coerce them and they haven't shown any initiative, they may fall back into previous behaviors. It's best if you can encourage someone or support them so their good behavior comes naturally.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

The most manipulative thing Aries does is keeping at you if they want you to do something.

They're relentless and they don't give up. They're stubborn and confrontational, so they're not worried about being thought of as pushy.

They don't care as long as it gets them what they want. They may hide their pushiness behind smiles and fun times, but don't be fooled — they're not going to stop until you do what they want.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Taurus induces guilt. They may play the victim, give you a sob story, or won't even say anything, but look as if they've been beaten up by the world.

They are some of the strongest people around and know how to land on their feet. If they're playing the victim card, it's probably for the effect it has on others.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

The most manipulative thing Gemini does is to stretch the truth; in other words, they lie.

They can rationalize their lying, saying it's for the greater good and there are no other options, but they use lying as a way to manipulate others. They may say they're going to do something and have absolutely no intention of doing it, or they may say a situation is dire when it's really not.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Cancer catastrophizes things. It's not lying nor is it playing the victim; it's simply making things seem worse than they are.

They aren't just sad when their partner breaks up with them; they're devastated and convinced they'll never find love again. Anyone witnessing Cancer's heartbreak will do anything to make them feel better.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

The most manipulative thing Leo does is minimize their behavior.

Leos are confident, but sometimes their egos make them do things that may have negative consequences for others. If Leo does something that's a win for them and a loss for someone else, they will spin it so it sounds beneficial for both.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Virgo is indirect when it comes to their wants and desires.

They don't always come out and say what they want, but they drop hints and make vague suggestions so other people think they came up with the idea all on their own and had nothing to do with Virgo. It's clever and kind of sneaky.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

The most manipulative thing Libra does is feign ignorance.

They act like they don't know how to do something or don't have the skills necessary so someone else will do it for them. Sometimes Libra will throw charm and flirtation into the mix so they get even better results.

If they're called out on their behavior, they'll act as if they have no idea what you're talking about.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

The most manipulative thing Scorpio does is make it seem like a major mistake to go against them.

You could lose them from your life if you don't go along with them. It's not unlike emotionally abuse and bullying.

All the secrets you've confided in Scorpio in the past may not be considered confidential any longer, and they could make them public knowledge if you're on the outs.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

The most manipulative thing Sagittarius does is being too nice.

You may wonder how being too nice is manipulative, but it's the fact that they're being extra nice to get a result.

If they have to bombard you with thoughtfulness to get you to do something for them, Sagittarius will do it. True kindness is something that's done without wanting anything in return, but niceness can require payment.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Capricorn uses their knowledge and proficiency as a way to get someone to do what they want.

By making someone feel dumb and needing guidance, Capricorn can make them follow their plan.

When someone feels capable and strong, they're better able to stand up to Capricorn and say no, so this zodiac sign weakens their confidence and manipulates them.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Aquarius ghosts people, and that's quite manipulative.

One minute they're present, answering your texts and messages in a timely manner; the next, it's total silence.

This may go on for a while, and then when you're feeling desperate and offering anything you can think of to bring them back, Aquarius has you where they want you. You may not even be aware you're being manipulated.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

The most manipulative thing Pisces does is not taking responsibility for their actions.

It's not their fault that something happened or that someone got upset. Pisces was just doing their thing and was lost in their head.

Sometimes it can feel as if Pisces doesn't think they need to be accountable for anything because they're so creative and special.

[crazy4myself]

No Harm List Pt. 12 | Teaser

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: mafia au, fluff, violence

Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy’s life, not knowing that he is one of the most powerful crime lord’s heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: violence, alcohol, mention of drugs, borderline smut

Beta reader: @punkisnotdead2318

Masterlist

FULL UPDATE WILL BE POSTED FRIDAY 9/17/21 11AM EST!

---

J-Hope was on the seventh floor of the Lumi hotel along the main street of Alcor’s garden district. He watched through the sight on his gun as bright-colored convertibles inched by for the parade. The streets were packed, lined with masses of people cheering and begging for shiny, free plastic to be tossed their way. 

“Three minutes until showtime.” Suga’s voice buzzed in the earpiece.

“Got it,” J-Hope said as he adjusted the long-range gun on his shoulder, waiting for the red convertible, containing his target, to inch a little closer. He was a large pot-bellied man with a winning smile and immaculately styled hair. Yet, despite his handsome, aging face, even from a distance, J-Hope could see how his blue eyes gleamed with greed.  

J-Hope had thoroughly built his notorious reputation as one of the best sharpshooters in Alcor, possibly the entire nation of Kros, over the years and was often hired out to do work outside of BTS for other organizations and politicians. 

He’s selective about what missions he accepts. He learned his lesson after he lost his sister, and since then, he built his trade with care. Taking the time to understand his clients and their motives. J-Hope learned the hard way what it cost to be a mindless soldier behind a gun and what happens when the family members of his more dangerous victims seek revenge. He has sworn never again to make the mistake of pulling the trigger under unquestioned orders. He would not let one of his loved ones face the consequences of his actions.

 Even the transactions of his payments are more secure than they were before to ensure theirs no trail for anyone to follow back to his trigger. He requires the payment to be made in advance through the Bulletproof casino. The hefty sum is loitered through the business to prevent any evidence from being traced back to him or his family. 

After some intensive research, J-Hope couldn’t deny that he was excited about the mission RM gave him. It was ideal. He was making a scene but causing no loss of life. 

Tate Hyde was a local asshole politician, worried about his re-election since an opposing smear campaign against him had gained traction in Alcor. After dubbing him “tater tot,” his approval rates and ego have both deflated, so he hired out J-Hope to make a ‘public attempt on his life’ during a parade celebrating the opening of the new school.

‘Tater tot’ thinks being attacked during one of his few selfless acts will stir up some good press. 

Luckily, J-Hope’s pay wasn’t dependent upon the outcome of the public's reaction or re-election. 

“One minute,” Suga’s voice crackled in his ear.

J-hope asked “Did you take down the cameras?” 

While a scene like this is staged, it’s for nothing if it doesn’t seem real. And lucky for BTS, stirring up some trouble in the Garden District would take some heat off of BTS, or at least spread the cops thin, turning their focus on protecting local politicians and, as a result, getting less of them to look into the shooting at the Bulletproof. 

The Black Tips also managed a few of the construction projects in the area. Any increased investigation on active gangs in the area might be bad for their business, and right now, BTS was taking any swing they could at the Black Tips. 

Namjoon was willing to play the game and tear them down brick by brick.

“Rolling on loop now,” Suga confirmed. 

J-hope still has to get himself out of the area without being caught, so Suga came for backup. He’ll be taking down any surveillance that could pick up his identity and help him navigate his way out of the building. 

J-Hope aimed and let out a warning shot first, making sure to lodge it in the trunk of the convertible so it wouldn’t hit any witnesses. Piss poor aim was another way to protect his identity J-Hope thought smugly to himself. 

The politician dove for his wife, covering her body with his own. 

“Fuck” J-Hope cursed under his breath, his chance of a clean shot diminishing as he now had to account for his bullet going through the man and hitting something vital on his wife. The car stopped moving, and the crowd was already in a frenzy with guards running up to assess the situation. 

“Take the shot, Hope they’re already heading for your building.” Suga’s voice ordered in his ear. 

Aiming for the man’s shoulder, J-Hope fired before turning from the window quickly before a cop could identify the source. If the wife gets hit, it’s the bastard’s fault for moving closer to her. 

“Stay calm,” Suga reminded as J-Hope broke down the gun quickly, making a mental note to clean it later as he tucked it in the compact case before sliding on the backpack. 

He stepped out of his hotel room and into the hall, looking just as concerned as the other pedestrians in the area before carefully making his way to the main exit. Sticking to a crowd was the safest way to stay inconspicuous. 

Then his phone rang.

“Hello?” He answered brightly, expecting it to be Suga online, providing him with a bit of extra coverage. 

“Hi, Mr.Jung, we just wanted to let you know that Y/N has about 30min left in her procedure if you want to make your way over,” a cheery voice greeted.

“I’m sorry, what?” He asked, confused

“Y/N’s wisdom teeth removal. Everything’s fine; we would just like for the guardian that escorts her home to be here when she wakes up for a quick debriefing on further care.” The nurse responded in a sing-song voice, “It says here you consented to be responsible for her? We have her signature.” 

Fuck. 

“Hope?” Suga questioned softly from the Bluetooth piece in his other ear. “The cops are in the building. Take the stairs.” He ordered

J Hope turned away from the elevators and headed for the stairs as he continued to speak with the nurse on the line, “Yeah, I actually can’t be there. Is there any way you can send her home, and I can come by later for the instructions?” He asked hesitantly 

“Sir, she is under anesthesia. She shouldn’t drive for the next 24 hours. I doubt she’ll be able to walk out of the building.” The woman’s voice turned harsh. 

“Hope” Suga’s voice was a warning in his ear as he tracked the receiver’s line. 

Hoseok looked over his shoulder to see the cops coming off the second set of elevators, and he picked up his pace as he made his way to the stairs.

 “Please remain calm; we need everyone to return to their rooms.” An officer announced. 

Hoseok made a break for the stairwell. 

“Hey!” A voice shouted at him.

“I’llsendsomeonetogogetherbye!” J-Hope hung up his phone as he started to race down the stairwell. “Suga, we have a problem,” he panted as he heard the door fly open behind him and a set of footsteps storming after him. 

“You have a few problems...” His partner growled in his ear.

“Can you link Jimin in the call?” 

“You really want to find Y/N a babysitter right now?” He asked incredulously.

“I don’t want her to wake up alone!” He defended as he jumped the railing and landed on the third flight of stairs, ripping the door open and running down the hall, pulling the first fire alarm he saw. 

“A fire alarm, really?” Suga sighed as he dialed Jimin.

J-Hope listened to the dial tone while surveying the hall as people began flooding out of their rooms. Then, turning into the first room left open and unattended, he slammed the door shut behind him and went straight for the window, praying for a fire escape. 

There was not a fire escape. 

“Hello,” Jimin’s voice greeted him in his ear. 

“Do you think I can make a three-story drop without breaking my legs?” J-Hope asked in lue of greeting. 

Jimin didn’t miss a beat, “Depends. Does the building have high ceilings? Is it a tall three stories or, like, a shitty motel three stories?” 

“Uh, definitely tall,” J-Hope said as he leaned out the window before spotting the fire escape further down the building. Eyeing the decorative ledge on the side of the hotel, he stepped up on the windowsill, testing the integrity. “Got it. Can you pick up Y/N from the dentist?” He asked distractedly.

The younger man stated his confusion with a hum. 

“I kinda forgot about her wisdom teeth surgery, and I’m kinda caught up.” J-Hope grabbed at the divot in the building’s bricks as he leaned on his leg out the window, his heart stuttering in his chest. 

“I’m sorry, dude, I’m in the lab right now, and I can’t leave for at least three hours,” There was a faint sizzling noise in the background, and Jimin cursed as he scrambled to his work table, “make that four hours.” He added.

“Damn, alright. Suga called Jin.” 

“Jin has a meeting this afternoon. He can’t. And V went into deep cover.” Suga replied, ending the call with Jimin.

“Call JK,” he asked, his voice now wavering as he scaled his way across the building, nails cracking with how they harshly gripped the grout and stone.

 How did JK and V make this look so easy when they do shit like this? 

Suga muttered his disapproval and something along the lines of ‘Might as well let Y/N’ choke on her blood,’ but did as his partner requested. J-Hope was near the fire escape trying to center himself as he reached his right foot out for its edge. 

Jungkook picked up on the third ring. 

“Yo, I need a favor-” J-Hope's sentences cut off with a yelp of fright as the ledge beneath his left foot crumbled. 

PLEASE COMMENT AND REBLOG TO SUPPORT MY WORK :)

[fmdhaseo]

spoiler alert: i haven’t made up my mind for character #2, and i still need help, so if you’d like to lend me a hand, click the read-more for more information!!  ＼(●~▽~●)

sOoOoOoOoOo i’m still really indecisive about who i should bring to the group, so i started working on writing up a rough draft for the two people who won my last poll ( park jinyoung and shin yeeun ) and sadly, i don’t think they were going anywhere i liked. ( ◡△◡✿ ) so here i am again asking for more opinions, but with more information on muse ideas i think would be interesting to play around with and to develop!! i’ll be providing some brief ideas below, then on this poll, you can tell me who you think the dashboard needs the most!!

OPTION 001  //  choi bomin, takata mashiho, lee daehwi, or kim yonghee // vocal unit leader / lead vocal of charm, or lead dancer / sub vocal of charm, or vocal of charm.

he would be on the younger side of the spectrum as far as charm’s age range is concerned, but he’d be of the most responsible out of the group, which explains his title as vocal unit leader if that’s the role i can snag!! see, he grew up in a single mother household, and due to her multiple jobs to keep a roof over their heads and groceries in the fridge, she wasn’t around a lot when he was growing up, and to top it off, he has four younger siblings ( a set of twin brothers, another brother, and one sister who’s closest to him in age!! ) that he has to watch out for. if anyone’s seen shameless us, think of him as a fiona gallagher type, but obviously not as intense as she and her family are in the show!! anyway, his childhood was mostly spent cooking meals for them, helping with homework, and cleaning the house—even when he was in elementary school. his mom and pop trusted him with a lot. so now, he’s a bit of a mother hen figure to everyone because that’s how he was raised, but he’s also severely exhausted, and he constantly puts everyone before himself, but that’s actually a fatal flaw for him instead of an act of selflessness. now, if you’re wondering where his love for music comes from, it’s because he learned to play the piano before his parents divorced, and it’s one of the only things that calms him down. in order to get his siblings to sleep, he plays a portable keyboard he bought with his life savings, and sings for them until they pass out. playing music reminds him of simpler times, and music itself, is his first love.

as a preteen, he was scouted by bc entertainment due to his visual charm, but when he auditioned for them, they were quite fond of his voice. it was untrained, but really beautiful to listen to, and they decided to take a chance on him. presently, he’s so dedicated to his work, and to his craft, but he fails to care for himself—often falling sick due to lack of sleep in conjunction with exercise, writing music, and other idol duties. i envision him similar to woozi in that he’d be someone who contributes composition, lyrics, and productions to charm’s albums. he’s very multi-talented, but he’s recently let that swallow him whole, and it’s not good for his health. he works so hard because he still has this idea that he needs to be the sole provider for his family since his mother is even more overworked than before, and his younger sister is now in charge of the siblings, which makes him feel guilty.

personality wise, he’d be a little bit of a soft, sad boy aesthetic come to life. moody, tired, emotional, and sensitive, but in all the right ways, if that makes sense!!

OPTION 002  //  kwon nara, park jiyeon, im yoona, or kim seolhyun // vocal of gal.actic, leader / main rapper / lead dancer / vocal of fuse, or lead dancer / vocal of lipstick.

think of a strict visual center type who’s also an actress, model, and master spokeswoman—a girl who’s calculating and who draws in a large crowd; someone that ever woman aspires to be and every man aspires to marry; she’s just that good, sparkly, and golden, you know? she’s a sunbeam on the outside, and her image makes her palatable to all types of people, so she isn’t just a sex symbol meant to capture the male gaze, she’s meant to be a people pleaser by default, and she’s really good at that. however, she’s been in the business for a very long time, and she’s pretty tired of it, but her bank accounts are nice and full due to all of her side gigs. like the muse in option one, she comes from very humble beginnings, but it was more so that her parents were dirt poor after being ostracized by their much wealthier families. see, the two of them were never meant to be together ( think romeo and juliet ) but decided to defy the wishes of their own flesh and blood, and embarked on a journey of their own!! it was hard, and neither of them adjusted well at first, but when they became pregnant, they kind of had to get their shit together really quick. when their daughter was born though, they loved her unconditionally, and raised her to be humble... as well as a bit of a con-artist, but that wasn’t necessary their intent. they needed help with bill and rent payments, amongst other things, and at a young age, she discovered that painting on a face and being a good actress would help them a ton. she was an innocent looking kid, so when she’d swipe the money from cash registers, or steal groceries from the supermarket, no one ever knew it was her. she was a bit of a master thief as a child, but it was all in the name of helping out her household. it was what she could do to contribute.

however, as a teen, she took it up a few notches and started to flirt with rich boys in school to get access to their money, or like, she’d find ways to manipulate people into eating out of the palms of her hands, all in the name of survival. though, when she was scouted by her company, she was able to convince them to sign her as a trainee despite having no talents. she promised them to work hard, and that she did, and even though she didn’t train for a long time before she debuted, she proved to be an asset to her group due to her ability to woo people of all types. her life, in a sense, primed her for fame, and she wants to take advantage of it now that she has all eyes on her. her past also made her into a fantastic actress, and she’s known to give thrilling and believable performances.

personality-wise, she’d be very two-faced, but never intensely malicious. she’d never like, manipulate her friends into bending to her will, or treat her boyfriends with any sort of toxic behavior on purpose, but she’s definitely not the girl on tv that everyone knows and loves in real life. however, the one good deed she does more often than not is volunteer at food banks and homeless shelters to assist those who were once in her position. so she’s not, like, chaotic or true evil per se, but more chaotic neutral more than anything. she’s definitely motivated by success and money, and in the past, has been accused of social climbing to gain further notoriety, but that’s neither her nor there now!!

[javelon]

Crossroads Deal - Part 1

"Huh apparently about 70% of people experience imposter syndrome. Weird." Anti had randomly mentioned one afternoon while browsing on his phone.

Chase had been busy jotting down notes for the next days videos but paused to look up at the glitch from his notebook, "What's so weird about that?"

Anti made a grunt, "Why would so many people feel like the wrong person? That's stupid." The flinch would have given away Chase's thoughts on that comment had Anti looked up from his phone, "I think imposter syndrome is more about people feeling like they don't deserve their success and being worried others find out they're a fraud." "Well maybe they Are a fraud then and don't deserve anything. What reason is there to worry otherwise?" Anti had snarked, unaware of the way Chase had gripped his pen tight.

That conversation had happened weeks ago but it might as well have happened yesterday for how fresh it stayed in Chase's mind. Since he had started pretending to be Jack after Jack had fallen into a coma, imposter syndrome was something Chase battled with every day. Ok maybe imposter syndrome wasn't quite right but Chase didn't know the word or phrase for purposeful decoy that's been decoying for so long they're losing themselves. There might not even be a word for that for who else has had to pretend to be someone that they're almost a carbon copy of? And for such an extended period of time that he sometimes didn't even respond to his name anymore, not remembering that he was Chase not Jack. Not that he was anything close to Jack other than appearance. Jack was someone who was so bright and vibrant and brought so much joy to so many people. Chase was just a cheap imitation, a failure of a person that could pretend just well enough that others couldn't tell if they didn't look too close. That had been made especially evident one night when Chase had walked passed Henrik's office to see him slouched over his desk sound asleep. Chase shook the doctor awake and Henrik had exclaimed "Jack!" in such a joyous tone when looking up at him until the doctor had readjusted his glasses then visibly wilted, "Oh you're not Jack." Chase knew Henrik hadn't meant anything by that. It didn't change how much that had hurt. But Henrik was right, Chase wasn't Jack. He wasn't the one everyone wanted. Alcohol has a history of making otherwise smart people do dumb things. Chase never really thought of himself as a smart person, especially lately. And when his preferred whiskey is coursing through him? Well... But this idea he thought was pretty smart. Ok maybe walking out to the middle of nowhere after the sun went down while inebriated wasn't exactly smart. Nor was leaving the house without at least a light jacket on this cool night. But as Chase kneeled in the middle of the dirt road intersection, he found he didn't care. All that mattered was the box, the road, and the book he had found in Marvin's room with an interesting section about summoning creatures who grant wishes. He also probably should have brought a small trowel to make digging this hole easier. JJ loved taking care of plants so Chase was sure there was a trowel in the house somewhere. But regardless the hole was now dug and should be deep enough for the box. Chase gently placed the box in the hole and replaced the dirt over it. Then he waited. And waited. The young ego bounced nervously before taking out his phone and pulling up the picture he took of a page he had been interested in. He was sure he'd done everything right! "'To summon a crossroads demon you must place a picture of the person wishing to make the deal, graveyard dirt, and the bone of a black cat in a box and bury it in the dead center of a set of crossroads.' Yea I did all that so where is the demon?" Chase muttered. "Behind you, darling." Chase whirled in place, almost falling over before righting himself, gaping at the gorgeous woman before him. Her smile was slow and sensual, each step towards him graceful, her fingers long and delicate as she gently pressed on the underside of his jaw, closing his mouth. "You were going to catch flies, dear." She offered in explanation at Chase's confused look. "Bu...wha..y...you're the demon?" Chase stammered. "That I am, darling. Why else would a lady like me be out here?" Her full red lips curled into an amused smile. "But...Anti..." "The one you call Antisepticeye is simply a powerful tulpa, doll. Honestly he'd be a disgrace of a demon with how obvious his...unnaturalness is to the general public. A true demon knows how to blend in with humans and your..."brother" is no true demon." Chase must have looked unconvinced for she continued, "If a demon that looked like "Anti" stood next to me and we both offered you the same deal, who would you feel more comfortable dealing with?" "Oh...." He supposed that made sense. He just had thought of Anti as a demon for so long that his alcohol addled brain was having trouble processing this information. "But I believe you didn't summon me here to discuss what Antisepticeye is and is not. Tell me what's on your mind, darling." Her smile was sweet and surprisingly comforting, coaxing him to spill all his troubles. Normally he wouldn't but the whiskey in him whispered he should tell her what led up to this night. So he did. He told her everything, from his failed marriage to his failed career to his failure as a father and finally to his failure to keep up the act of pretending to be Jack. When he was finished, tears streaked down his cheeks. The woman reached up and wiped away one of his tears with her thumb, cooing softly at him, "You poor soul, life has been so cruel to you. Don't worry dear I can make it all better. Which do you want most? Your darling children back? Your beloved Stacy returned to you-" "I want to take Jack's place." Chase blurted out before flushing red at having interrupted her. She froze ever so slightly, lips pursed, "You...wish to take his place? I can give you almost anything you desire, are you sure that's what you want?" Chase ducked his head, "I...it's not that I don't want the other things you offer. But...having Stacy and the kids back won't change that I failed them. I-I don't deserve them anymore." He had to pause to choke back a fresh wave of tears, "I've failed so many people in my life. I can't even pretend to be Jack anymore. Nobody wants me around, they want him. They deserve to have him. And I failed to pretend enough to be him until he wakes up. Th-the least I can do to try and make up for that is give everyone Jack back. He's the one that deserves to live anyway and be awake and with everyone, nn-not me." For a moment all you could hear in the crossroads was the rustling of leaves in the breeze. "I...must admit this is an unusual request. Normally when making deals I give the person want they desire then return for my payment in ten years. This however..." the woman paused and tapped one of her perfectly manicured nails against her lips in thought, "Very well I shall grant your request but instead of ten years I shall return for my payment in one year. No point having that handsome body of yours wasting away in a hospital bed for that long after all." "But..." Chase stopped when the woman raised a brow at him, almost as if daring him to back out, "Okay...I'm um...what do you want as payment? The book said demons always want something in exchange but it didn't say what you usually want. I hope it's something I can get..." A light laugh filled the crossroads, "Oh darling, you already have what I need." Chase just looked at her blankly as her smile widened and she leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Your soul, doll." The young ego visibly swallowed. It shouldn't have surprised him, it really shouldn't. Of course a demon would want a soul and not some material thing he could gather.  Taking a step back the woman gave him a gentler smile, "Ah it's alright, darling. It is a lot to ask, to trade away your soul so poor Jack can wake up. Not many could do such a selfless act." The woman began to walk away. "Wait!" Chase snatched her elbow, desperation filling him, "No I'll do it! I'll give you my soul in exchange for Jack. I...can I ask for one more thing?" The woman stood there patiently, arching a brow as she waited for his request. "Before...before I take Jack's place...can I see him awake?" Chase pleaded. "You wound me, dear. Do you not trust I will uphold my end of the deal?" The woman asked, seeming offended. "No no! I just...it's been so long since I've seen him awake and heard him talk. I just want to see that, one more time. Please."  The woman regarded him for a moment then smiled, "I accept this deal." Chase sighed in relief, "Thank you!" He looked around awkwardly, "Uh so...how do we do this? Do I need to sign something? Prick my finger?" Another laugh, "No worries, darling, we demons are more sophisticated than that." She placed her fingers on his chin, tilting his face up slightly before giving him a kiss.  Chase froze in shock only to visibly recoil when the woman pulled away and he saw her eyes were now solid blood red and her smile had turned cruel, "I shall see you in a year, Chase Brody." With a blink of an eye she was gone and Chase was left standing alone again. The young ego ran his hands through his hair, mentally cursing himself. Fuck what had he done? "Way to go Brody." Chase muttered to himself before shaking his head. No this was the right thing to do. This was for Jack and any grievances Chase had didn't matter. What he needed to do was get home. He just hoped the demon had truly kept her end of the deal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When Chase returned home he could already tell something was different. Every light inside seemed to be on and the house just felt..happier. Maybe that was Chase projecting his own hope but he wanted to believe. It was a hope that grew as he quietly entered the house and heard excited voices from the direction of Henrik's office. The young father crept towards the room and softly gasped when he looked in. The woman had held up her end of the deal. There in the hospital bed was a fully awake Jack, surrounded by everyone looking so blessedly awake and healthy. Chase covered his mouth to quiet a relieved sob then a choked laugh when he heard someone say "Oh thank you God." If only they knew that it was a demon they should be thanking instead. Speaking of demon Chase was forcefully reminded of his end of the deal as a wave of dizziness washed over him, black spots appearing in his vision. No, no, no he needed more time! He hadn't gotten to talk to Jack yet! But the black spots and dizziness were growing and the last thing Chase wanted to do was collapse and disrupt everyone's happiness. His bed. He needed to make it to his bed. Hopefully if anyone poked their heads in they would just think he was sleeping. The dizziness made it hard to walk straight, the wall being the only thing really keeping Chase upright as he stumbled down the hall. So close, he was so close! It took more effort than it should have to twist his door knob and open the door, his foot kicking out the only reason the door shut behind him as he fell to his knees. He just needed to make it to the bed, he could do this! With every last bit of willpower in him Chase reached for the bed, grasping the blankets only to pull them down with him as his arms gave out, darkness swallowing him as he hit the floor.