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HICCUPS! : MLP Fan Fiction : A Grumpy Goat >tail<

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HICCUPS!

A Grumpy Goat >tail<

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

Cover art by @wind-the-mama-cat

16440 words

Writing begun 11/30/18

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Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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Characters:

Grumpy Goat and usual cast

Thomas/and/or/Dashie Writer – remote controlled T82

Wind, the Mama Cat

Victor Mordenheim - Mad Doctor

Krystal Dragoness “KD” Wingless dragon - artist

Fume Hood Unicorn, a bit small-Forensic Chemist

Jinni and Sassy vampire and succubus

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It was being a quiet day out on the ledge in front of my cave. We were sitting on a bench, out in the sun, rereading Daring Do and the Secret of the Appleoosa Cave. The stout iron sheeting that blocked the entrance to my cave was warm behind us.

The lovely Coalsmoke, a pony of perfect glossy black except for her cutie mark, was leaning over where my shoulder would be, if I still had a body, or for that matter was even technically alive. She was admiring one of the illustrations in the book.

“I especially like these illustrations signed KD, Grumpy. They capture the mood and action really well.”

Sitting on my other side was the finely polished skeleton of an alicorn. He was the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, the being responsible for my present condition and now one of my few true friends.

He agreed, “Look at how well the artist has made the cave entrance look menacing. Whoever did this is very good.”

We were distracted from our pleasant reading by a flare of flame down on the trail leading up to my cave. Looking down the way, I was more or less expecting it to be the torches of another anti goat mob or, more specifically anti Grumpy Goat mob.

Due to my business, I am less than popular with some ponies. I have a thriving practice in Non Equine Magic. Mostly, it does not appear to do anything. Somehow, the desired, contracted for and paid in advance results just seem to happen by perfectly natural, if often bizarre means. Most of the time, those results are the advantage over, injury, death or ruin of some pony, paid for as mentioned, IN ADVANCE, by some other pony.

This time, it was not a mob. There was a wingless blue dragon toiling up the stony path to my cave. The next time that she flared, we could hear it. It sounded like she was suffering from a case of hiccups! Possibly not the best ailment for a dragon to have, since she was burping a smallish fire blast with each hiccup!

When she gained the ledge, she considerately turned her head out away from us. Good thing, too! She had two hiccups in quick succession!

She offered, “My name is Krystal Dragoness, KD for short. I've come to you about these hiccups. They are like to ruin me. I am at my wit's end. See, I am an artist. I draw and paint. I get going on a piece and these hiccups start up! One of them is sure to hit my work, and, well, paper, paints, canvas and frames are all pretty flammable! I've even burned up brushes!

“Can you help me to end these hiccups?”

I nodded, making my skull, apparently floating on nothing, with its everburning candle between the horns, glowing snake like eyes and fangs bob. “I could do that, yes. It would not cure the basic problem, though. Hiccups usually have a natural cause from tummy and lungs not coordinating right. If I fix this case, it could easily happen again.

“Let's dig into how this started and whether there is some underlaying cause that we can fix.”

Somewhat disappointed, Krystal nodded. “That makes sense. My first case of the hiccups like this happened at my one dragon show in the Sunrise Gallery in Manehatten. You know how those things are, lots of nobs that you need to chat with and lots of small snacks and drinks. The show itself was a pretty important one.

“I landed a contract to illustrate the next Daring Do book. There was some serious competition for that contract, let me tell you. It nearly went to Drawin Pitcher. She wasn't too happy about me getting to do the art for another Daring Do book. This one will be my fourth.

“I had only just signed the contract when the hiccups started. The first one nearly incinerated my new contract! I was able to get out of the gallery safely when they began. I was lucky that I didn't hurt anypony or any of my art.”

She absently pulled a sparkly topped muffin out of a bag and began munching it. Looking up, a bit embarrassed, she pointed out, “I really can't share dragon muffins with you. They are topped with crushed gems and have gold or silver dust in the muffin part. I'm afraid that they are pretty toxic to non dragons.”

Coalsmoke asked curiously, “Where did you get them? No place in Ponyville makes them at all. Sometimes the kitchen in Princess Twilight's castle makes up some for Spike but they never sell them.”

Krystal knit her brows in puzzlement. “I get them out of this bag. I always like have them when I am a little tense, like when I am concentrating on my art. Nibbling helps me to focus.”

Just then, she let out another small belch of fire.

Whistling softly, I thought carefully about what I had heard. “Tell me, Krystal, at the art show, did you have muffins like these?”

“Well, yes. Any well equipped bakery can make them. They just have to clean up carefully afterwards. They always serve them if I am going to be showing any of my works.”

I nodded and looked over at the lovely Coalsmoke, who is always a treat for the ol' eyeballs and asked, “And where have you bought them since that art show in Manehatten?”

She paused, thinking. “I haven't had to. This bag always has some in it.”

The eyes that I don't really have widened just a bit. “It always has some of those muffins in it for you? When did you get that bag?”

She scratched behind the spines along the back of her jaw as she sorted it out. “I first noticed it just after I left the gallery at the show where I got those first hiccups. It's always there when I am tense.”

I glamored my invisible spirit body to look like the handsome tan, black and brown goat that I was before the tiny mistake that killed me and destroyed my original body. Holding out a hoof, I said, “Just give me the bag, please. I am going to try something simple with it.”

Nodding affably, Krystal handed me the bag. I took it inside my cave and shut the iron door. That door and my cave front were designed by a good firm of military engineers to withstand an Equestrian standard military battering ram.

It only takes one anti-goat mob burning your house, your library, years of study, hopes for a degree and dreams of well paying work to make one take a few simple precautions. Add the mob trying to stone your burned and battered body to death to drive home the lesson in how how to hate most ponies. That trivial incident also motivated my simple and sensible precautions against a repeat of the problem. Like living in a cave. With a military fortress grade steel and iron entrance.

I turned about from sealing the door and asked Krystal if she was still feeling tense. Digging into the bag for a muffin, she replied, “Yes, a little. Why?”

The Litch King pointed with a foreleg of bone. “That is why. He just shut that bag inside his cave and it looks like you have it back.”

He turned his skeletal head to me and stated, “Grumpy, if you can, we NEED to help KD. Her illustrations really make a Daring Do book! Plus, we know now that a new one is in the works! We can't let anything interfere with THAT!”

I shrugged and opened the door. I was not even surprised that the bag was not there inside my cave any longer. Krystal munched her muffin and shortly hiccuped another tongue of flame.

I pointed out, “That bag was behind six centimeters of forged iron. In spite of that, it homed in on you without seeming effort. Moments after you nibbled that muffin, you hiccuped another flame. I suspect that there is a direct connection. To be sure, we need to go back down into Ponyville. I know someone in the forensic chemistry lab at the police department. In the meantime, try not to nibble another muffin and let us see if that helps to control or stop the problem.”

On the trail back down to Ponyville, Coalsmoke and I tried to simply hold the bag instead of letting Krystal carry it. This wise measure proved impossible. The bag kept sneakily returning to her claws. After what happened up on the ledge in front of my cave, that was pretty much what was expected.

I have to admit that I was pleased by the simple fact that Krystal did keep her claws out of the bag. We got down the trail and into Ponyville without incident as a result.

Instead of my usual turning towards the town hall and the Hall of Records, to record a new contract, I trotted right on, with a right turn, headed towards the Ponyville Waste Treatment Plant and Falmire Marsh, which is fenced and actually the final stage of the waste water treatment, before it goes into the river.

Coalsmoke was most interested in why we were going where we were going. Soon enough, we came to a modest stone building close by to the treatment plant. The sign said,

Ponyville Police Department

Forensics Laboratory

Chemistry, Physical Evidence Analysis,

Forensic Autopsy

As I pushed open the front door, I explained, “I know most of the staff here. Sometimes they will consult with me, when a case is being a pain.”

Coalsmoke chuckled, “How often is one of their nasty cases the result of one of your contracts, Grumpy?”

A smallish unicorn looked up from where he was working at a desk, apparently compiling a report. “Not really all that often, Miss Coalsmoke. Even when it is, there is no actual evidence that can link the contract to the results. Grumpy is often a big help in sorting out how something that we are investigating happened. We pay him a proper consultation fee, of course.”

I introduced, “Coalsmoke, KD, I would like you to meet Fume Hood, one of the best forensic chemists in the whole kingdom. We are lucky to have him here in Ponyville.”

KD offered, “You have some unusual friends, Grumpy.”

I chortled, “If they aren't unusual in some way, the aren't worth having as friends.”

Turning my attention to Fume Hood, I explained what our situation was in a few words and ended with, “Think that you could do us a rough analysis of one of KD's dragon muffins?”

He thought for a moment, tapping quietly on his desk top before nodding, “You say that the flame is mostly pale blue? Nearly transparent but pretty hot?”

KD shook her head in agreement. “Right. That is, unless I eat something with salt in it. Then the flame is yellow. Is that significant?”

Fume Hood said, “It MAY be. I would like to see both your normal flame and one from your hiccups. Please step over there. Dragon flame can be pretty handy for some chemistry tests, so we have a small indoor flame range.”

KD stepped over to the flame range's head rest. Fume Hood lowered the room lights and suggested, “Whenever you are ready, Miss KD. Just give us a small shot of your regular flame.”

KD's fire blast was impressively different from a hiccup flame. It was a bright yellow with some red to the center and flame tips that went to a bluish hue.

Fume Hood almost danced pleasure at seeing it! Perfect! Normal dragon fire. Now, let's see what we get with one of those muffins. Go ahead and take one from the bag and eat it.”

He was watching the bag very closely as KD extracted the muffin. “Fascinating. There is only one muffin in the bag until you take it out. Then a new muffin forms almost immediately afterwards.”

KD contentedly munched her muffin. Within moments, she stuck her head into the flame range headrest and belched a nearly pure, pale blue flame.

Fume Hood smiled in chemistly joy. “Timing and color nail it! You were right, Grumpy. There is a direct connection between the muffins and KD's hiccups of flame. The only reason that she flames at all with them is that, being a dragon, she has a natural ignition spark every time she exhales or belches. Whatever this vapor she is belching is, it is highly flammable.”

KD's shoulders slumped. “Does that mean that I can't have Dragon Muffins anymore?”

Fume Hood chuckled as he replied, “I suspect that you can have all that you want. Just not these, from this bag.”

He went to pull one out. Looking perplexed, he tried again. “Humm . . . I can't seem get that muffin out of the bag. KD, will you get it please? I need to analyze it.”

Without any problem, KD extracted the muffin. Fume Hood took it and sliced it in half. One half he put into a beaker with a lye solution. It began to dissolve at once. Soon there was only some slightly coarse granules mixed with loose sparkly fragments of gemstones in the bottom of the beaker.

Fume Hood filtered out the solid residue and rinsed it with water. Stirring it with a glass rod, he explained, “The lye took away everything but the gems in the topping and the metal dusts in the body of the muffin. Now, lets see what happens next . . .”

He dripped some acid onto the residue. “Gems, gold, and silver won't dissolve in this mild acid.”

In spite of that, something was happening! It bubbled and fumed something fierce! Happily touching it off with a sparking wand used to light his lab burners, Fume Hood pointed dramatically!

“There! You see? Pale blue flame! See the white residue? Zinc oxide. Your muffins are adulterated with zinc! It reacts with your stomach acids to make hydrogen and that is what, along with a bit of moisture and such that it picks up as you burp is what makes your so called hiccups! Just don't eat any muffins from that bag and you should be fine.”

He turned to me and snickered, “OK, Grumpy. We are even now.”

I turned to the perplexed KD and Coalsmoke. “They needed an autopsy done last year. The cadaver was over a week old, in August. I glamored up a form with no sense of smell and did it for them. Death was from blunt force trauma to the back of the skull. Clubbed, to be crude about it.”

KD brightened up and commented, “If they get that sort of thing to deal with, it is no wonder that this place is beside the waste treatment plant!”

I agreed, “Right! Now all that we need to do is sort out how you got a bag that can do what this one does.”

KD put a finger to her cheek as she thought. “I do know where I got it. It was at that Manehatten art show that I told you about. The Dragon Treats that they serve at those things are always kept separate from the pony treats by putting them in bags. Somepony gave me this bag with a muffin in it, just before I signed that Daring Do contract.”

Fume Hood tapped me on my nonexistent shoulder and pointed to the bottom of the bag. There was a small trade mark in the form of a silhouette. There was a small bit of advertising too.

KD read, “Redline Party Supplies – For a party to remember for the rest of your life – If you survive!” She also pointed out, “That silhouette looks like a laughing wolf's head.”

Fume Hood agreed, “It does look like that, doesn't it? I know of someone who uses a silhouette like that on their business cards. Here.” He hoofed over a card.

The card read:

Doctor Mordenheim,

General Surgery and Prosthesis.

Everfree Edge Clinic

Practice inspected and approved by Princess Luna

I was delighted! “I know where that is! It was a small old castle that was supposedly built by a -” I made my voice low and shivery while making Hoof Quotes, “- 'Mad Doctor' long before Ponyville was established. It was in ruins when the Apples came and founded the town.”

Coalsmoke smiled and said, “Right, Grumpy. I know where it is too. I send my workers there for general health workups and surgery when it is needed. Doctor Mordenheim really is very good. It is not far from here, either. Let's go see if he can shed any light on this business.”

We left, taking the Falmire Causeway that crossed the marsh, going out towards the southeast side of the Everfree forest. We paused by a street vendor's cart to watch the antics of her trained alligator.

Have to admit that Pinkie has done a great job of training Gummy! I mean, he is two and a half meters of fun! Rumor has it that she has broken him to saddle, but she was not offering rides today.

“Gator Chow, gator chow! / The gators below are hungry now! / Feed the gators down below / It is really quite a show!”

A chuckling Coalsmoke hoofed over coins and got a big bag filled with large chunks. It said “Certified Gator Chow” on the label. She shared the chunks around and we spent a few happy minutes tossing them to the many alligators gathered hopefully under the bridge.

There were splashes and chomping a-plenty as the gators lunged about for each new chunk of the chow. We heard a munching from behind us.

KD, swallowing, asked Pinkie, “Where can I get some more of this stuff? It is pretty good!”

At our stares, she retorted, “What? Dragon here, remember? I don't eat grass!”

We left Pinkie to her vending and went on across. It was not long before we saw the sign pointing to the forest beyond. It said, Everfree Edge Clinic, General Medicine and Prosthetics.

Only a little way up the designated path of yellow cobbles, we came to a small but well restored castle. I had to give this Doctor Mordenheim credit for showmanship. This was one classy clinic. The sign over an open door read Welcome to Everfree Edge Clinic.

Coalsmoke rang a bell labeled Ring for Service that sat on a beautiful mahogany desk in the lobby/waiting room.

We did not even get to try out the assorted seating and laying cushions. A large, near horse sized zebra with an eye patch came out of the back. His professional smile turned to a genuine one as he laid eye on Coalsmoke.

“My dear Coalsmoke! What may I do for you, or is it for one of your friends?”

Suddenly stopping like he'd hit one of his stone castle walls, he gave me a careful and most knowing look. “I do fear that the goat is beyond any help of mine.”

Coalsmoke smirked just a little as she replied, “You are correct. This is Grumpy Goat, my long standing friend, of whom I am sure that you have heard. We are not here for him.

“This is Krystal Dragoness. She prefers to be called KD. Our problem is sort of related to her, but it is not medical.”

Resting his chin on one forehoof, as he sat behind the desk, Doctor Mordenheim inquired, “If the problem is not medical, then what is it?”

I held out a hoof, “KD, may I have the bag please?”

I showed him the bottom. “Somepony named Redline is using your cutie mark on his things. It has some interesting properties.”

Mordenheim put his face in his hooves. “I know. I see that KD has it. She can't lose it either. Whatever is in it, seems like an endless supply. I made it, years ago. How it got here to this world, I have no idea.”

He was sort of surprised when we all simply found seating and Coalsmoke asked casually, “So, how did you get here? More to the point, when you arrived, did you meet an elderly blue unicorn with a white mane, tail, and beard?”

Mordenheim looked blank. “What? No, I never met anypony like that.”

He got a seriously uncomfortable expression as he elaborated, “I would really prefer not to go into why I wound up here. Princess Luna knows in detail. Suffice it to say that the events led me to wandering in the Everfree Forest. I have no idea at all how it happened, since the Everfree is not all that big, but I was in there for over a week. Perhaps more, I am not at all sure. What I am sure of is that the path that I was on did not seem to double back on itself or any thing like that. Between sun breaks in the forest canopy and the scenery, I am sure that I was not going in circles.

“I happened on the ruin of this old castle. I might have simply passed it by but it had a small cobbled road leading to it from outside of the forest. I followed that road and it led me to Ponyville.” He shook his head in wonder, “It was a very different Ponyville than the one that I left. By good fortune, I met Caramel Treat, Fangrin and Reverend Smallflower. The rest all came from meeting them.”

I pointed out, “Fascinating as that is, it completely dodges the question of that bag and its neverending supply of adulterated Dragon Muffins.”

One of Doctor Mordenheim's ears cocked up in fascination. “Adulterated? How?”

Coalsmoke filled in, “With lots of zinc metal dust, that's how.”

Doctor Mordenheim winced, “Ouch! That would make mountains of hydrogen gas! That could cause a serious problem for a dragon!”

KD confirmed, “It sure does! The hiccups that it causes have been near the ruin of my art.”

Suddenly you could see things clicking together in Doctor Mordenheim's mind! “KD? Art? Did you do the covers and illustrations for Daring Do and the Secret of the Apploosa Cave? The Adventure of the Singing Sands? The Nippony Diamond?”

KD nodded, clearly pleased. “All three! Why?”

Acting like a foal as he was going to his book shelf, Mordenheim snagged all three books and returned to his desk. “I love your art, KD, would you please autograph these for me?”

With an impishly evil grin, displaying her big dragon chompers, KD replied, “Sure!” She was reaching into the bag. “Just as soon as I snack on this muffin! Or, you make this bag harmless!”

Grinning right back, and revealing a set of fangs that would not have been out of place in a tiger shark, Mordenheim replied, hoof over heart, “You wound me! I was going to do that anyway. You did not need blackmail me. It did make it more fun, though!”

KD chuckled as she said, “I would not really have done it, Doc. It was just too much fun to pass up the chance. So, tell us, why did you make a bag like this?”

Reassured that we did not hold his apparent past against him, he sat back comfortably and half smiled at the memory. “Revenge. Count Sourbottom was being a problem, objecting to some of my experi . . . projects. He had a whole herd of foals of all ages. One of the youngsters had a birthday party coming up. I set up one of these for each of them! Loaded them with the finest, sweetest candies that I could locate. It was a near perfect revenge.”

Always interested in more ways to get back at ponykind for their mistreatment of me in the past, I asked, “How was giving his foals candy any sort of revenge?”

Suddenly, Coalsmoke put a hoof to her lips to suppress giggles. “Don't you see it, Grumpy? He couldn't take them away for discipline because the bags will go right back to the foals. Worse, the endless supply of sweets could cause all sorts of health and mouth problems that the Count would have to pay for!”

Mordenheim nodded happy agreement. “Last that I heard, Count Sourbottom was headed for bankruptcy on dental bills alone!”

Going more serious, he offered, “KD, we may be able to save the gem topping of your muffins if we are lucky. Would you like that?”

KD replied seriously, “That would be great, if we can do it. I really like their flavor, especially the crushed rubies. How can we do it?”

Doctor Mordenheim picked up the bag and headed for the outside door. Over his shoulder, he invited, “Come outside for a simple little experiment. We can save the gems themselves for sure. Question is whether we can save the topping that they are in or not.”

He pointed down the yellow cobble road leading to his door. “Now, my dear, take a muffin out of the bag but don't eat it.”

Mystified, she hoofed over the muffin. “I understand why I have to get it out, but why not eat it? What are we going to do with it?”

With total assurance, Doctor Mordenheim replied, “You are going to eat it but in parts. Here, let me scrape off the topping.” Carefully he removed the topping, taking none of the muffin itself. “Just eat the topping. I will hold the muffin for now.”

With obvious relish, KD did. Licking it off her claws, she asked, “What now? I like this test!”

“We wait a bit to see if you get gas. If you don't, the zinc is only in the muffin part.”

KD cocked her head, brow wrinkled in concentration. “I don't feel any gas coming on. That usually happens pretty quick when it does.”

“I see. To finish the test, eat the rest of the muffin now.”

She did. And was soon hiccuping blasts of flame.

Nodding in confirmation, he said, “Just in the muffin then. We can definitely save the topping for you. Would you like just this topping or would you prefer it on something?”

“As it happens, I do have something that it might go good on.”

Back inside, she produced a bag. We all saw Mordenheim's nose dilate as he caught the scent. His ears shot forward in interest. Drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth!

“What is that lovely smelling stuff, KD?”

“Gator Chow. I got it from Pinkie Pie over on the bridge. She told me that it is made from smoked and flaked meat pressed into bite sized chunks.”

Both Coalsmoke and I were rolling on the floor, laughing! Getting myself somewhat under control, I commented, “Those teeth of yours are real, aren't they, Doc?”

“Yes, they are. Is it a problem?”

Coalsmoke, composing herself comfortably on a large cushion, replied, “Not for us. It was just unexpected. Looks like Pinkie is going to have to stock in more Gator Chow, is all.

“This explains why Caramel has mentioned you eating there a lot but I haven't seen you, and I eat there too. You eat in the back, in her carnivore plaza.”

“Right. Now, KD, those Gator Chow chunks are just about muffin sized. That is about as big as the bag can handle. It is time to disarm the bag from those bad muffins.”

He got a large, heavy book from the shelf. Instead of consulting it, he held it at the ready.

“Now, KD, take the muffin out and move your paws away from the bag swiftly.”

As she did, he slammed the book down on top of the bag! He held it down for around a whole minute. Relaxing, he pronounced, the spell is reset. It can now be reloaded and set to anyone. Just a sec.”

He went into the back and returned with salad tongs and a spreading knife. Selecting one of KD's chow chunks, he carefully and neatly spread the gem topping onto it. Taking the tongs, he used them to insert the topped chow chunk into the bag.

“Now, KD, just reach into the bag and take out the snack. That will reset the bag to you with a safe treat. You also now know how to change treats any time that you want.”

Saying, “Thanks, Doc!” KD fished out the treat and nibbled it down with gusto!

I was watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes that I don't really have. Thinking it over, I pointed out, “KD, whoever set you up was at the show in Manehatten. The way it works, that spell didn't lock onto you until you took out that first muffin.

“It may be time for a contract or a bit of detective work in Manehatten. Perhaps both.”

Thoughtfully she suggested, “There is another big art show in Manehatten in a few days. I do have a studio there with some finished pieces that I could enter if I could get there in time. That would give us the cover that we need for detective work if we can arrive in time.”

I suggested, “If time is a problem, I could try setting up a portal between here and the Manehatten fairgrounds. It has been a while since I studied that but it is really pretty simple magic.”

We all trooped outside and I began the really pretty basic preparations for opening a portal spell. I did add a whole lot of “stage dressing” rituals, circles and other misdirection. I always do. Better showmanship and it hides what makes it work from prying eyes, even if they are watching.

A glowing circle appeared in the air, just in front of us and barely touching the ground. Suddenly it began to grow, becoming a huge oval. Something enormous, making a steady pulsing roar and clanking like metal was coming toward us!

First, pretty high up, came a sort of short crossways tube with a hole in it on the side facing us. The thing continued to advance. That funny bit was attached to a long metal tube! Down lower, some big metal plates appeared and then between them an enormous bridge of metal. Huge wheels of steel supported endless linked plates of more steel!

As the contraption came on out, it was revealed to be a gigantic machine of some sort! It had sloped sides up to a heavy device on top that the long tube came out of. That had sloped sides too, as if this thing were made to bounce catapult shots off of it! There were some serious dents and obvious repairs that made it seem that those slopes were strictly functional!

Sticking her head up out of a hatch in the top was a pony who looked for all the world like Rainbow Dash! Reinforcing that idea was a brown pegasus with a black mane and tail clinging to the rear of the machine and calling out loudly enough to be heard over the machine's roar!

“Dashie! Stop! You going to smash through garden wall again! You crush Jade's herb garden again! You so grounded!”

Dashie retorted, “I not hit wall, dad! Big blue hole show up. I drive through that! Besides, last time I drive through Jade's herb garden, I fix it better than before. She ask me to squash it again!”

“And one more thing! Dashie, you make me good hot tea or you so grounded you need dig up for thousand year to see daylight!”

Innocently she shot back, “If I that grounded, I make you nice tea that De Writer send for me to get you! It his idea to get it with remote control T82 Main Battle Tank! If I NOT grounded, I MIGHT be able to find you nice green tea that he never touch!”

The brown pegasus sat hard. “De Writer ask you to use Remote Control T82 IN CANTERLOT for that tea? You not so grounded as I thought.”

The one identified as Dashie noticed us from her vantage point, high up in the top part of the T82. She picked up a small boxy thing with buttons and levers and pushed one of the buttons. The T82's loud grumbling fell quiet.

“Um, Dad, we come through portal, I think. You not teach me that magic yet. There ponies here and a dragon. Come around T82 and you see. There small castle here too.”

The brown pegasus stepped around the metal monster and courteously introduced, “I Thomas the Writer. Miscreant who drive T82 through your portal my daughter Dashie Writer. T82 is educational toy give her by De Writer.”

Mordenheim looked up at the behemoth of steel and remarked, “Where you are from has different ideas about educational toys than any place I have ever been.”

Dashie replied, “It crazy where we from too, but what you expect from powerful wizard like De Writer? Something safe? He good to have on your side when trouble come, though.”

She turned about and exclaimed, “The portal gone!”

It was true. Standing where it had been was a familiar cat otter hybrid with red hair. She was wearing a well worn cloak of dark green and light seeming chain mail. Mithril by the look of it. Her left arm was a prosthesis, a mechanical arm of metal that moved in an utterly natural way. Under the cloak was the scabbard of a large sword. In her mechanical hand was a parchment that looked like a map of some sort.

She tucked away the map in a pouch at her waist and looked about, her gaze missing nothing. Smiling, she waived! “Hi, Grumpy! It's me, Wind! We met at Ponyville Fair, remember? I am part of Marchhare's band of Rom. I was going to meet them at Haymarket fair, up north, but this out of control portal got in the way. I took the liberty of closing it.”

Thomas gave Wind a strangely puzzled look. “This world with Marchhare in it?”

She shrugged, “I wouldn't be going to meet him and his band if it wasn't! Why?”

Speaking to Dashie, Thomas said, “This important lesson, Dashie. How many worlds in multiverse?”

She replied, “Infinite. Everyone and thing have infinite copies, each a little different.” Raising her eyebrows in thought, she added, “This a trick question, isn't it, Dad?”

“Sort of. You very quick. Every rule have exception, right?”

Putting hoof to chin, she thought and then went wide eyed with realization! “Every rule have exception, even that rule!”

Thomas lifted his wings in pleasure. “Right! This ONLY world in whole multiverse that have Marchhare! That is secret to navigation when go between worlds.”

Dashie blinked. “What happen when he dies?”

“Nothing, Dashie. Marchhare already dead. Not die twice.”

We were all listening in amazement. It was newcomer Wind who said, “That is sort of a relief. That there is only one of my foster dad, I mean. I have met some of myself and it was not the best of experiences!”

She put her jaw in her metal hand and examined the whole situation carefully. Turning to me she asked, “Did you cast the portal, Grumpy?”

Scraping the grass where I was standing with one nonexistent forehoof and looking down, I muttered, “Afraid so. Portals are not really my specialty. I guess that I really messed this one up.”

Wind stepped over and lifted my glamor's head to look me in the eye. “I am an expert with portals. That one was really well done. It would have worked perfectly if you had not cast it here. The Everfree's Hidden Ways are what messed you up.

“Now, where were you trying to go?”

KD interjected, “We were aiming for the fairgrounds at Manehatten by the Sea.”

Wind nodded in a very take charge sort of way. “I see. That is about 6 or 7 hundred kilometers from here.”

Leaning casually up against the iron monster called T82, Wind asked, “Does this thing have personnel and cargo railings and how fast is it, uh, Dashie?”

Dashie brightened up as she replied, “It sure does have safety railings! I use them when I give Mia and Becky rides. It can go as far as you want. Out in the open, it can hit 100 kilometers an hour! How did you know about that?”

Wind gave a delicate shudder, “I have adventured on a few worlds where similar machines were used. I saw the passenger railings on some of them.”

Wind smiled ingratiatingly at Thomas. “Would you be willing to let Dashie take us all on an Adventure to Manehatten by the Sea? It will get these nice beings where they need to go and be fun for us all. From there, I can easily send you both back home.”

Dashie had hopped out of the top of the T82 and began releasing catches and lifting up metal railings. They clicked as they locked into place. When she was done, she lowered a set of steep metal stairs to climb up onto the back of her “educational toy.”

Thomas watched with a skeptical lift to his right eyebrow. “I not say we go, Dashie.”

She looked him straight back in the eye as she retorted, in front of us all, “Right. All that you have to do is tell our hosts that you won't do something simple and fun to help them.”

“That blackmail, Dashie!”

“Right. Between you and our De Writer, I learn from the best!”

He chuckled, “OK. We do it.”

Wind swung easily up the boarding stair and called, “All aboard for the Manehatten Express!”

KD swarmed up, found the engine vents, and curled up with a “Dibs on the warm spot!”

Coalsmoke gently pushed me toward the enormous device with, “I would love to go too, Grumpy, but I have serious business to talk over with Victor. The Princesses want to set up a program for helping wounded veterans of their armies.”

Dashie started the T82 and made a big turn. Wind guiding her, we set out for Adventure! And Manehatten.

Technically, we took Doctor Mordenheim's path down to the Falmire cutoff and turned south towards the junction with Royal Road 315. For some reason, the busy traffic of Ponyville's industrial district gave way before us, even when it had the right of way! Couldn't imagine why! Surely it had nothing to do with fifty or more tonnes of steel monstrosity charging along at a “mere” twenty kilometers per hour.

We reached the Royal Road toll booth without incident. Almost had an incident there. The poor booth keepers were going nuts trying to sort out the proper toll.

Pages were fluttering back and forth in their toll manuals, “It ain't a cart or wagon from any section! Darn thing is made out of iron like a fool locomotive on the railroad!”

“I know, Jeb! Can't even classify it by team size or set up! It runs itself!”

Wind was sitting on the edge of the turret, which Dashie had taught us was the name for that upper part with the long pipe sticking out of it, and giggling at the small uproar.

“When Marchhare hears about this, he will split his harness, he will laugh so hard!”

One of the toll collectors looked up at her and got a beatific smile. “You are Wind, from Marchhare's band of Rom, right? I saw you at our fair a couple of times.”

She nodded acknowledgment, “Yes, Sir. I am.”

He turned to his buddy and pushed the manuals shut. “Just write Rom from Marchhare's band, toll free by Crowns Law.”

Jeb did write, though he was still trying to protest. His superior shut him down with, “Jeb, like enough you are right. Still, it solves OUR problem.” He tripped the gate mechanism and the flimsy red and white painted wooden bar lifted up out of our way.

We pulled onto the Royal Road. Besides less traffic, it was wider and better maintained than the Ponyville road we had come from. Dashie began to open up the speed once we had clear road ahead of us. I must say, I was impressed. Dashie was not kidding about hitting a hundred kilometers an hour!

The T82 was fast and high enough that we had to duck shade tree branches! A delighted KD had her sketchbook out and was rapidly drawing things from her high perspective!

Chortling, she explained, “Even as roughs, some of these will adapt to pictures for my book contract! This is great!”

Wind steered us into one of the many waysides, making Dashie slow down and drive gently as we parked for the evening. With assurance, she showed us where the free water and firewood were.

With a fond smile, Wind recalled, “I have camped here before, while traveling with Dad's band. There is a small stream over in the bushes that we can get fresh fish and crawdads out of for a nice dinner.”

KD had out an easel and was busily drawing with colors. She was doing the T82 framed by a sunset of riotous clouds and glowing light.

She asked politely, “Wind, would you be so good as to pose there, just below the turret? I want your metal arm just casually holding something and your sword out in your right hand, ready but not on a guard.”

Wind did pose. It really did not take KD long at all to capture the feeling of the scene. The way that Wind was posing, it looked for all the world like she OWNED the metal monster behind her!

Done posing, Wind stretched and began doing limbering up exercises. With an expression of delight, and without even thinking about it, Wind began to dance and sing in a language strange to all of us. I did recognize it from my times at the Ponyville fair, serving mainly as security for Caramel Treat's excellent food booth. The language was Gyptian, the sort of private and held secret, nearly melodious tongue of the Rom. I did recognize the dance.

She was treating us to the Shehan Ja Rom, their story of how the Rom came to be. I gather that it is the oldest dance and song of the Rom. As her dance and song finished, I remembered that the Rom did not clap for applause. I leaned my head back and gave the loud trill that the Rom use.

Wind looked sort of startled as the others followed suit. Embarrassed, she mumbled, “Sorry. It was just the joy of being on the road again.”

It was KD who said it, “Don't be sorry. It was lovely. Is there an Equestrian translation?”

I put in, “I know that there is. That was the famous Shehan Ja Rom. The Rom traditionally dance and sing it in an Equestrian version to open fairs. What I am curious about is how Wind, who is nothing like any horse or pony, came to be a Rom and of Marchhare's band at that.”

Wind sat near the fire and absently began to assemble vegetable skewers for Dashie, Thomas and I. “I made a little mistake while adventuring. I survived it, obviously. Mama Dragon fixed me up and sent me here, to this Equestria to finish healing and recuperate. De Writer met me and steered me to Marchhare's band.

“Good thing, too. One of my wounds developed a small inflammation that could have killed me. Black Lotus, Marchhare and Hoof Dancer, his wife at the time, healed me. Mama Dragon was wise in sending me to them for a month. I had more than physical wounds to heal. I joined them and learned to read, write and speak Gyptian. Having a real caring and extended family provided the rest of the healing that I needed. Now, I have my Freedom and I can come and go as I wish, but my Rom family is always there for me.”

I could tell that there was a lot left out but Wind cut her tale off without harming her tail by asking, “Grumpy, will you tend these skewers for me while I go catch some fish, crawdads and a bunny or two for dinner to share with KD?”

I realized at once that besides being an adventurer, Wind was quite diplomatic. She had just reminded the lot of us that KD had not eaten all day, except for snacks, and that both she and Wind were carnivores. Possibly hungry carnivores.

Dashie took off too, calling, “Wind! Wait up! I want see how you hunt and fish without fancy gear.”

Wind looked back, nodded and then beckoned with a finger curl. As soon as Dashie was up to her, Wind slid into the brush without a sound. Dashie, trying to follow was pretty quiet.

Coming to the creek bank, Wind laid flat and wriggled forward on her stomach. Carefully parting the small thin wands of the bank willows, she slid her right arm into the water, reaching back, under the cut bank. Her face screwed up with concentration, she eased her hand up, feeling for a fish. Smiling, she slid her hand further up and grabbed!

Rolling back and lifting, Wind flipped the good sized trout out onto the bank! She caught the flopping creature and bent its head back to break its neck. She snipped off a thin bank willow strand with her knife and laced it through the fish's gills and out the mouth. Loosely knotting the ends, she hung the fish up and repeated the trick three more times!

Dashie was watching with awe. “I never even hear of fishing that way! How you do it?”

Wind picked up her willow loop with fish and replied, “It takes practice to tickle trout but it is not really hard. You need to be careful and gentle. When you feel the fish with your fingers, you need to work your way up until you feel the pectoral fins, those just behind the gills. Snap your fingers into the gills and lift it out quickly.

“Now for a nice brace of bunnies and dinner will ready to cook.”

Dashie, keeping her voice down, asked, “I see warren right over there. How you catch them? Some kind of trap?”

Wind, following Dashie's pointing hoof, shook her head. “I could, and if we were going to be here longer, I would set some snares. Since it is only dinner and breakfast, I will just pounce them. It is easier and quicker.”

Dashie watched Wind ghost her way through the brush toward the warren. Choosing her place, she waited, a bunched spring of living huntress. Nothing moved except for the tip of her tail twitching slightly. It was only a few minutes before a bunny hopped lazily toward one of the main holes of the warren. Wind's pounce included a fast chop with her metal hand! The bunny only twitched once before going still.

Wind quietly picked a different spot and soon had a second bunny!

Bearing her prey, Wind and Dashie returned to camp. On their way, Wind asked, “Why did you want to see how I got fish and bunnies? Most ponies really don't want to see that.”

Face flaming a little with embarrassment, Dashie replied, “I am sort of, like half dragon. I turn into one if I need to or want to. Thing is, I not very good at getting meat to eat! I have to turn back to a pony and graze up dinner! There are times that really inconvenient!”

Wind chuckled. “I can see that! We have one more stop before Manehatten by the Sea. I will take you out hunting there too, OK?”

Back at camp, Wind considerately went to the other side of the T82 to clean and prepare her catch. A lightly drooling KD went to help! They both returned to the camp, licking their lips and smiling. They were finishing up with some of KD's endless supply of Gator Chow. Wind had carefully cleaned off the gem topping from hers and used it to enhance KD's snack.

As we were settling about the fire, Dashie asked, “Um, Wind, did Rom hold you prisoner some way? You say you have your freedom.”

Wind chuckled at the misunderstanding. “No, Dashie. The Rom Freedom is a thing that they wear. Here, I have mine in my bag.”

She reached into her bag at her waist and her arm seemed to go in further than was possible. She saw us staring and snorted her amusement. “It is called a bag of holding. It is sort of like Marchhare's caravan. It is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Here it it is!”

Stopping her rummaging, she pulled out a sort of headstall thing of richly tooled and dyed leather with rings and buckles that looked to be gold. She strapped it on.

“This is a Freedom of the Rom. They grant them only to beings that they have fully accepted as one of their own.”

“Why is call a Freedom?” Dashie wondered.

Wind lifted her chin with pride. “The original cast off slaves that were the first Rom wore a headstall with a bit and lead ring. They had them all their lives and were not comfortable without something on their heads. They re made them into the Freedom by taking away anything by which they could be made to serve another. No bit or lead ring has ruled any Rom from that day to this.” Very carefully, Wind removed her Freedom and put it away.

KD had curled into an amazingly hard to see coil of dragon to sleep until dawn. The rest of us were spreading blankets to sleep under the stars.

A wagon full of road repair tools and an accompanying work gang of ponies pulled into the rest area. A couple of them strode arrogantly to our camp and demanded, “We are hungry! What ever food you got, hoof it over now! You don't, we gonna take sledgehammers to that there tin thingy!”

I gently prodded the almost sleeping dragon in our midst. KD had been paying attention! Her head rose up, eyes alight. A curl of flame showing at each nostril and outlining her barely opened jaws completed the picture!

She serenely asked, “What? More dinner? I'm not sure that I could hold another whole pony. Mind if we just sort of pack along the leftovers for lunch?”

Dashie had lifted a fully draconic head. In the late evening's light we could not make out her color but we could easily make out the totally paling ponies!

“What! They got TWO DRAGONS!”

Dashie corrected, “No. Two HUNGRY dragons!”

Dashie was giggling at the frantic retreat of the two jerks! Got to admit to some chuckles of my own. KD's sides were heaving as she re coiled herself.

Dashie got up onto all fours. In the dying firelight, she could be seen to be a light blue color. She flexed her wings a couple of times and strolled over to where the road crew ponies were carelessly re packing to leave. In terror but not so terrified that they were willing to have to pay for abandoned gear!

One thoughtlessly yelled, “Road camp privacy! Stay away, that is kingdom law!”

Wind, who was almost unnoticed at Dashie's right front leg, calmly pointed out, “You have just admitted that you knew that you were breaking kingdom law when you tried to hijack our dinner. In your haste to correct your error, you dropped your sledgehammers. Here!”

Wind revealed a hidden strength by casually giving the heavy hammers an underhand toss. Both hammers overshot the wagon and hit the turf on the other side of it.

That got the attention of the road crew ponies! One noticed, “How come you only got one arm?”

Smiling angelically, which showed off her fangs nicely, Wind reached up with her metal left arm and scritched at the base of Dashie's left dragon horn as she replied, “What, this?” Campfire light glinting from her metal arm, she said casually, “Kitten here, and I got to roughhousing last week! She was a little too enthusiastic, that's all.”

Dashie, catching on to the game, bent her head around and gave Wind a lick at the shoulder and said contritely, “I said that I was sorry! We just need to find a Phoenix potion so that you can regrow it. Again.”

They strolled back to our camp, Wind taking the time to re hang her cloak to sort of hide her metal arm. Thomas, Dashie, now turned back to a pegasus, and I nibbled up Wind's excellent fruit and vegetable skewers.

Wind toasted the last of the bunnies and trout over KD's flame and shared that extra bit dinner with her. Dashie “sneaked” over and turned back to a dragon to beg a few bites. Grinning, they let her have some.

Sleeping out in the open, I did not have my usual nightmares of a Celestian Church mob burning my home, studies, and, failing to trap me in the house, attempting to stone me to death. Perhaps my feelings of safety came of sleeping beside a big blue dragon? One that liked me? Very likely.

It could not last. For one thing, dawn comes far too soon for a cave dwelling goat like me. The other was a light blue bundle of enthusiasm with rainbow mane and tail! Dashie was bounding into camp! She was waiving a forked stick with three big fat trout on it! It was laced through their gills and out their mouths, with the forked branch acting as a stop to keep them from sliding off.

“I did it, Wind! I tickle trout just like you show me how!”

Wind looked up from laying the morning cook fire. Her grin showed her usually hidden fangs as she replied, “Just like I showed you? Not sure how to point this out diplomatically but you don't have any fingers to do it with.”

Totally disingenuous, Dashie replied, “I just use my magic like you show with hand. It not hard. Real trick was find where fish hide. You show me that. They too quick to catch if just grab. Gentle tickle is trick.”

Both KD and I were listening with rapt attention. It was clear that Thomas and Dashie's Equestria was very different from this one. As they talked, that became more and more apparent.

“Does your magic come from being a weredragon?”

“Only a little. Most I learn from Dad. He one of two most powerful beings in our Equestria. Be honest, I think De Writer worst. Super strong magic and wicked sense of humor. And bored. He three thousand years old. Raise Princesses.”

“I see. Do other pegassi use magic where you come from?”

“Not really. Dad figure out that there more magic in world than Earth, Pegassi, and Unicorn. It come from his mom, Aurora, the Demon Queen.”

We all looked askance at the innocent appearing brown pegasus. This was getting more and more interesting all the time.

Wind just nodded, took the fish and efficiently set about preparing them. She also pulled some fresh looking apples and peaches out of the bag at her waist. She expertly split them into proper chunks and dropped them into a pot. She added a little fresh water and, reaching into her bag of holding, pulled out a box with many drawers and bottles, a jar with a sealed top and a small flour bag.

I was sort of amazed, watching the sheer skill with which Wind organized breakfast. She even had water on heating in a biggish pot. She added some from the sealed bottle. The camp filled with the heavenly aroma of Rom black tea!

Satisfied with the progress of the fruits in the pot, she added sugar, cinnamon from one of the drawers of the box and stirred in the flour to thicken it.

It smelled heavenly, not like regular flour at all. Wind closed the bag and returned box, bag and jar to her bag of holding. She saw my calculating look as I watched it all happening.

Wrinkling her nose in amusement, she explained, “Ka'chek flour. A Rom without it? Unheard of!”

Breakfast lived up to the lovely scents, and then some.

Wind, KD and Dashie went to the other side of the T82 to fix and eat the trout. Coming back, Dashie and KD were finishing up gem topped Gator Chows and Wind was nibbling at one with the topping removed.

While they were eating, the rest of us cleaned up all the cookware and put out the fire. We especially cleaned out the fruit stew pot! Nearly came to blows over who got to lick it out! Good sense prevailed and we took turns licking parts of it. Then, we washed it. We did have one thing unwashed.

We saved Wind the last mug of Rom black tea. Smiling at our courtesy, Wind drained it and saw to proper washing of the mug. She then caused us all a small croggle of the mind by causally putting all of the clean cookware and dishes into her bag of holding!

We all piled onto the remote controlled T82 and Dashie got us on the road again!

I noticed that Wind was wearing her Freedom and had put on a harness. It was as richly tooled and dyed as her freedom. They were clearly a matched set.

While KD was busy with her art, making fast sketches of the lands that we were passing through, I made bold to ask, “Why the Rom outfit? This is not exactly a caravan.”

Wind giggled at some joke that I did not understand as she replied, “Actually, it is. You just have to understand what caravan means. It is a loan word from the desert Kingdoms that was already in use by the time that the first Rom came here. In their language of Gyptian, it means something slightly different from how it is used in Equestrian.

“It is just that there is a road section toll gate coming up in a little. Me being dressed this way should get us through the gate for free.”

Nodding acceptance for her reason, I turned my attention to Thomas, who was trying hard to act like an adult pegasus, rather than a colt having the time of his life.

I guessed, “You have not ridden on Dashie's T82 before, have you Thomas?”

With a twinkle in his eye, he admitted, “Never before this. I think that she get to play with it more but need daddy supervision!”

I was chuckling at that when we all felt the iron monster slowing down. Wind, pointing ahead, made clear exactly why. There was the toll booth with its light weight red and white bar across the road. There was a substantial cabin in back of it for use of the toll collectors when off duty and out here, kilometers from any town. A sign said, WELCOME TO THE MANEHATTEN ROYAL ROAD SECTION.

Wind hopped off the top of the huge left tread guard of the T82 and greeted the toll takers, “Hi! What do you think of my new act? Just doing a shake down run to IRON out any problems! We are promised entertainment for the big art show.”

The utterly bemused light yellow toll collector turned to his lavender buddy and shook his head. Pushing the toll manual shut he said, “Rom. No accounting for 'em. Just write Rom, toll free by Crowns Law.”

He tripped the mechanism and the toll gate rose up out of our way.

As the mechanical behemoth passed through the gate, Wind trotted after and swung up the steel boarding stair and resumed her place on top of the turret, next to Dashie.

We had passed two of the Waysides when Wind guided Dashie into one that seemed empty. It was nowhere near noon, yet.

“Thanks, Dashie! There is a friend here that I want to talk to. It would have been rude to just go by and not say Hi.”

With that, she bounced off the turret, grabbed what we had learned was called the Main Gun, and swung, letting go and landing lightly. She sprinted over to the edge of the woods.

Sitting suddenly, she quietly reached out and laid a sparkling pebble among many others in that spot. She said, “Hanar Na Kili.” We could not make out the rest. It was all in Gyptian. It contained pauses as if she was listening to what another was saying. The conversation was soon over.

Wind got up, smiling serenely, and returned to us. Dashie had turned to a dragon so that she and KD could share a couple of KD's gator chows.

Wind suggested, “We could get going, now. The Loved Dead are always with us. Hanar and I had a nice chat.”

It was slowly percolating through the brain that I don't really have, just how different Rom are. And I have known them, shared food with them and talked with them for years. They have even been guests in my cave. I have heard that expression, the Loved Dead are always with us hundreds of times. I have heard about Laying the Stones goodness only knows how many times. This was the first time that I had seen it.

Seeing how Wind treated it, both casually and with absolute assurance, as if the horse in that grave that the Rom call a Gateway to the Lake of Paradise, or Lake for short, was really there, made it hit me like a gut punch.

I knew, like everybeing in Equestria that the ONE THING THAT YOU DO NOT DO is desecrate any Wayside burial. Ponies who die more than two days travel from their homes are entitled to a Wayside burial. It is a Royal Benefice. The graves are marked and tended as part of Wayside maintenance.

All Rom who die get a Wayside burial, that they call a Lake or going to the Lake. They lay small, inexpensive, but pretty pebbles on them to mark them.

Desecration of a Rom Lake will bring the Princesses in person to investigate. The criminals WILL get caught. Penalties are HARSH. They range from twenty years at hard labor on the Royal Roads up to life. The worst offenders, who have actually exhumed Rom remains get a punishment worse than simple death.

They get life in the Twins Mine, digging mercury ore. The fumes destroy the mind and wrack the body. After the first few such grave robberies, centuries ago, no pony in their right mind will risk that.

Wind looked so quietly happy that I had to wonder whether there was any truth to the Rom belief in the Lake of Paradise.

Dashie finished her snack and changed back to a pegasus. We all piled back onto the T82 educational toy and hit the road again. It was not long before we came to a bridge across a stream.

It was a nice, well built and solid bridge. It was clear that it was not made to take the sheer mass of the T82.

Dashie, following Wind's suggestions and pointing, reversed the T82 for about fifty or sixty meters. There, she eased off the road and headed toward the stream. She stopped short, while Wind scouted ahead, dropping down the stream bank and checking the bottom to be sure that it would hold up the tank.

Returning, she suggested to the others, “I think that you should get off and use the bridge on foot. This will be a wild ride!”

KD pointed to the line of ten to fifteen centimeter diameter trees that lined both sides of the stream skeptically. “Um, not to cast doubt or anything, but how do you plan to get this thing past those?”

Wind replied quietly, “I have seen machines like this, doing what they were designed to do. I don't think that it will be a difficult problem.”

KD and Thomas both looked into Wind's eyes and saw reflected experiences that they did not want to share. Neither did I. Thomas just said, “T82 break trees in orchard before this. I take Wind's advice.”

Nodding, KD followed him, saying, “Let me get to the center of the bridge and get my sketchbook out! I don't want to miss this!”

Figuring that the center of the bridge would have the best view of the proceedings. I joined them.

That was when I noticed something completely uncanny. As big and heavy as the T82 was, there was no sign of its driving across the grass and brush to get to the stream. Looking back, I saw that the road was in perfect condition, too.

I pointed it out to the one here who might know something about it. Thomas snickered happily, “Yes, know already. You not say anything to Dashie but she very good with magic of rock and stone. Also with magic of plants. She fix what educational toy do as it happen most time.”

Just then, it started. The T82 let out a loud roar and charged the treeline! There was a splintering set of crashing sounds as it struck the innocent vegetation! The trees did not stand a chance! They swayed, cracked and buckled, falling down into the stream as the “toy” crunched over them, tipping down steeply as it plunged into the stream! With a huge splash, followed by the churning up of rock, gravels and white water, the machine charged the opposite bank!

As it hit, I began to appreciate the ingenuity of the linked steel belts that the T82 ran on. There was a slope at the front before the treads hit the ground. Now, that slope let the machine claw its way up the bank, tilting back steeply as its momentum and driving tracks forced it up, pushing the trees aside and down while it topped the bank!

Dashie drove her “toy” up to the road's edge and parked it. She bailed out and took wing to the other side of the stream. Landing in the water, she transformed into her dragon self!

She called, “Dad! KD! Will you help please!?”

She was lifting the fallen trees back into their places, on the stumps that they had broken off from. While she was at it, I could see her magic going into the stems and branches, binding together cracks and breaks.

KD loped down and joined her. “What can I do, Dashie? I don't know anything about this kind of magic.”

“Just hold trunk up while I fix break and roots.”

Thomas strolled down and waded into the stream. He started repairing cracks and breaks in the wood of the fallen trees to speed things along.

Wind and I sat on the bridge rail and watched them work. She commented, “Ah, hard work! I can sit and watch it for simply hours!”

It really did not take all that long for the party to restore all the trees and larger brush, leaving almost no sign that the massive T82 had charged through there.

KD said it for all of us, as we climbed back aboard the T82, “I never even heard of magic like that before!”

As she was settling into the turret and picking up the remote control, Dashie shrugged. “All world each a little different. Some thing go from world to world, some not. Magic dad teach me, it work.”

Not too much later, we pulled into a Wayside to fix lunch. Some heavy freight dray ponies were already camped there, so Dashie parked us at a site well away from them, to give them camp privacy.

They stomped over to us just as Wind was setting a large pot of water to heat.

“Whatever you gots to eat gotta be better than our road ration oats! Hoof it over! We even got you a bag of oats to make it a fair trade!”

Dashie quelled Wind before she could say anything. She gestured for KD to stay hidden behind the T82. Pretending to quail some, she replied, “We just stop for ordinary tea before go on. Got special box tea need to be deliver.”

Thomas, sounding indignant, demanded, “No! Dashie, that tea special! Got to go to Castle . . .”

“They meaner than us, Dad! I give them one packet. Only make them a couple of gallon.”

She ducked down into the T82's interior and returned with a modest package wrapped in gold colored foil.

She made a point of securing the oats before giving them the package. “We going be in much trouble for this. Oats is least you can do.”

As they retreated, I noticed that Thomas had a diabolical grin. Dashie, on the other hoof, simply hopped up on the T82 and tripped something on her control box.

The turret turned and the main gun lowered some. It pointed the big main gun directly at the drover's camp.

All that Thomas would say was, “It De Writer tea. Never know what happen. Best be safe!”

Wind's ears perked up! Almost too casually, she asked, “Is that thing loaded?”

Dashie sort of shrank a bit as she replied, “Yes. Have five case ammo. Two explosive, three solid shot. Five round in each case. De Writer give them to me when I get tea. Dad not like me have it.”

“OOPS! No time talk now! They getting water boiling!”

KD sidled up to Wind, “You seem to know a lot about this thing. Just how dangerous is it?”

Wind put an arm over KD's neck as she replied, “That depends on which kind of round Dashie has in the gun. A solid shot will rip a crater about two or three meters across. The flying dirt and stone from the fire place will make a deadly spray.

“If it is an explosive round, it will blast a hole about five or six meters across. It will scatter fragments of the shell and any loose stone or dirt too.

“Yes, the T82 could wreck any ordinary fortress in Equestria.”

KD was chortling, “I hope that the tea is worth a shot! Not only would I like to see that, I did not like those ponies at all.”

Thomas overheard and replied, “They not get hurt. De Writer not crazy. Have spell on T82 it not hurt any pony or intelligent being. Can do much property damage. That educational part of toy. Dashie get to fix up damage. Study hard her magics since she get it from De Writer!”

The wayside ponies added the tea to the water boiling in their big kettle.

As they did, Thomas asked urgently, “What De Writer say about brew tea?”

Dashie's brow wrinkled, “He say make in ceramic pot only a little at a time. It good for cold morning!”

Just then the flames began in the drover's big kettle of boiling water! They burst up in a great gout of blue and yellow fire! We could feel the heat from where we were! The sides of the big iron pot glowed red, then yellow! They began to melt!

In only seconds, the sides gave way and the tea gushed out, drowning the campfire, not that it was much help! The wood instantly went to ash! The tea soaked into the bottom of the fire place and the flames slowly subsided.

The heat had driven the drovers away from camp and wagon. The whole side of the wagon that had been facing the tea was charred. There were small wisps of smoke arising from it here and there.

Thomas was sitting on his rump laughing. “Now know why fix in ceramic pot and only little at a time! Definitely good for cold morning!”

While the drovers were frantically hitching up and hauling out of there, Thomas was thoughtfully heating water in an iron pot. He called up, “Dashie! Packet tea. Small measure. Ceramic pot I know you got in there!”

She popped up out of the hatch and gave Thomas the things that he had asked for. KD, who could breathe fire, quietly backed up.

Dashie saw it and reasured her, “With De Writer tea, follow direction important. We see what NOT do.”

Thomas added boiling water to the small, indeed tiny, measure of tea in the pot. Flame poured out the spout and leaked around the lid. It soon died. Thomas poured a small cup and smelled it.

“Have good nose.” He sipped. Eyes wide, he exclaimed, “This one of De Writer's best teas yet! Try some, Dashie!”

She promptly poured a cup for herself. “It good dad! Thanks!”

Wind added vegetables to her pot of boiling water and soon the savory scent of vegetable stew filled the camp area.

While it was cooking, she took Dashie and they entered the woods. It was not long before they returned with a couple of squirrels and a few bunnies. This time, it was Dashie, turned dragon, who toasted the carnivore lunch.

After everything was cleaned up and put away, Dashie strolled over to the camp that the drovers had used. While we watched, she actually pushed a few heat broken stones of the fireplace back to position. Somehow, they stuck. What really got me though was her casually picking up the hardened iron from the melted pot and the original fire grilles and sort of pushed, pulled and squeezed on them to make a good, substantial grill for supporting cook pots. It went into its place. She carefully scouted the camp, leaving bright green grass where it had been fire browned.

A grinning KD got several quick sketches!

Wind reminded us all, “The Manehatten fairgrounds turn off is only about another hour down the road. Shall we be gone?”

It did not actually take us an hour to get there. We all disembarked from the T82 and did stretches.

Among the assorted goodbyes, I heard Wind ask KD, “I am not on a schedule. Mind if I tag along to see your art show?”

I personally, after wishing Thomas and Dashie well, inquired, “Would it be possible for me to get some of that De Writer tea?”

He practically pounced on me! “How much you want? He send a crate of it! Got lots!”

“I could use several packages. Say, five?”

“Dashie! Get Grumpy five packets De Writer tea!”

Her voice muffled by being inside her machine, she retorted, “FIVE? What he want to do? Melt T82?”

As I took the packages of potentially deadly tea, Thomas pointed out, “You know Grumpy do magic. Pony here seem mostly think only unicorn do magic. Grumpy use much ritual and misdirection to keep them from catch on. I bet tea become part of that.”

My already high respect for Thomas went up another big notch. I nodded, “Right, Thomas. Also, once the fire burns off, it makes a really good tea. Right up there with Rom black.”

Wind told the group, “Well, I promised to send you back from here. Is it time to go?”

Though Dashie looked a little downcast, Thomas nodded, “It been fun here, but yes. It time to go home.”

Wind reached into her bag of holding and fished out a thing that looked like a map. She traced out what looked like a route on it with a delicate touch of one claw.

The pale blue oval of a portal big enough to drive a T82 main battle tank through appeared. Thomas climbed the passenger steps, up onto the back of the iron monster and our friends drove through. The portal silently vanished.

I turned to KD. “Which way to the Art Show?”

She nibbled a gator chow treat and pointed. “My studio first! Then off to the show!”

KD snickered, “You two are little! Hop on my back and we will make better time!”

As Wind boosted me up and then leaped up herself, she said, “I could get used to this. Traveling places without having to walk, I mean. First, the T82! That was fun! Now I get to ride dragonback again!”

I looked back, trying not to miss the sight of Manehatten's famously tall buildings. Many of them were over five levels tall! Some, in the downtown area looked to be way taller!

I commented, “Again? You have ridden dragons before?”

“Just one, Grumpy. My daughter Aurixa.”

That gave me real pause. I ventured, “Adopted?”

Sort of. I found her egg out in the wilderness not that far from Mama Dragon's cottage. I was there when Aurixa hatched. She imprinted on me as her mother.

“When she grew up some, we used to play together a lot, including riding her. I love flying on dragonback!

“Anyway, she grew up to where she was too big for that. Last I saw her, Aurixa was bigger than a house. I need to go home to Mama Dragon's and visit her. I miss them.”

We came to a nice two level house in the outskirts of town. The only odd thing about it from the outside was that the door was bigger than usual. KD got out a key and let us in.

The inside WAS unusual! The whole second level floor had been knocked out, leaving a sort of rim around the single large room. It was just the right height to serve as shelves for KD! There were a few scorch marks on the walls, souvenirs of her hiccups!

There were paintings and drawings in profusion! All was neatly organized. Drawings were in X-frames and paintings were racked or stood against the walls.

KD selected a number of drawings, including some from her sketchbooks filled up on the trip here. Truly professional, she framed the drawings and sketches behind glass. She had frames at the ready for her paintings. It took her about an hour and a half for her to be ready.

She put on a harness designed to carry framed work and suggested, “Load me up! The Manehatten Art Show is only about a kilometer from here!

We trudged through some pretty fancy streets and up a hill to a small estate. I giggled when I saw the iron scroll work lettering over the gate.

Wind nudged me and whispered, “Pretty up front about it, aren't they, Grumpy?”

The letters said, “Snob Hill Estate.” Under it was a banner proclaiming, “Snob Hill Art Festival! Opening soon!”

The pony watching the gate seemed both pleased and surprised to see KD. “Krystal! I was told that you would not be able to make this show! Let me announce you to the committee!”

She held him gently back. “Please don't, Edward. I am most curious as to who is saying that I would not come to this show.”

He sort of scraped the pave with a forehoof and looked down as he said, “I am not supposed to gossip about our patrons.”

KD grinned as she flipped him a silver bit. “You said nothing!”

Expertly fielding the coin, he said, “Of course it could not possibly be Drawin Pitcher spreading rumors about you.”

KD grinned, with many teeth, as she replied, “Of course not. Why would a fine artist like Drawin say anything negative about me?

“Oh, Edward, these fine beings are guests of mine.”

We went on in, following KD. She went straight for the main entrance to Snob Hall.

Even before we entered, we heard, “You know, I am really sorry to say that KD not only won't be making this show, it looks like she will have to give up the Daring Do contract.”

As she was about to charge in and confront the speaker, I gave her leg a tug. “Not quite yet, KD. Now, it is contract time. I suspect that this one can be really simple and oral, witnessed by Wind, here.”

I don't think that I have ever seen as many teeth as showed in KD's grin. “What sort of contract do you have in mind, Grumpy? I don't have a hundred gold on me.”

I pointed inside, “I overheard that. I will take one golden bit, ownership of that painting of Wind by the T82, and an autographed copy of the new book when it comes out. Thanks to the one bit, the magic will work.

“You can still enter the painting in the show as an original, on loan from the owner.

My refund terms will be one gold, one silver plus return to your ownership of the other items.

“What will happen is that not only the one who sabotaged you, but any accomplices will reveal their parts in such a way that they will receive the maximum of embarrassment. Attempts to extricate themselves will only dig them deeper.”

KD nodded slowly. “That sound pretty good. Can we include some career help for her, IF AND ONLY IF, she stays on the straight and narrow?”

I nodded, sucking in the cheeks that I don't really have. “I will include that. But only if it will still embarrass her.”

KD's tail wagged in delight, threatening several ornamental plantings! “Done! Here is the bit!.”

There was a brief flash of yellow in the sunlight. I put it in my saddlebag. “Wind, did you witness the contract and it's terms?”

If Wind's feral grin was not answer enough, her, “I did. You have a contract,” was.

KD breezed in through the big ornate doors. Cheerfully she called out, “Sorry to be late but I see that I am still in time for entering my latest works!”

The yellow mare with the green mane and tail that exclaimed, “It's KD! We have to get her out of here!” had to be Drawin Pitcher!

That was confirmed in mere seconds. KD said amiably, “I don't know what you are on about, Drawin! Oh, I see that you have some neat things up already! Let me get a closer look!”

As the blue dragon approached the hanging works, she absently pulled one of her crushed gem topped snacks from the bag. She was holding it so that all that could be seen was the topping. She started to munch it down as she got up close to the drawings and paintings of her rival.

Drawin Pitcher frantically charged KD and pushed her head aside, away from her art. “Please! Don't incinerate my art!”

KD turned her snout to aim directly at Drawin and asked in a mild voice, “Whatever to you mean, Pitcher? Why would I incinerate anypony's art?”

Drawin dodged behind a portly pony who was watching the scene unfold with interest. His cutie mark was a stack of books. He turned to her and, greatly puzzled, asked, “Why are you afraid of KD, Drawin? She has participated in many shows around the kingdom and never any incident like you seem to fear.

“True, last show she got a minor case of hiccups but controlled them and caused no harm at all. Why are you afraid now?”

There was a mumbled reply.

“What? That made no sense at all! What do you mean, it's the muffins?”

KD offered, “You were in industrial chemistry before you became a publisher, right, Mister Hazard?”

“I was.”

“Read this. It will explain most of the problem with the dragon muffins from this bag.” She fished in one of her bags and gave him a folded paper. “It is the Ponyville Police Department's Forensic Chemistry Laboratory report on the dragon muffins from this bag.”

His eyebrows rose sharply at what he read. “Zinc metal? That much in each muffin? No wonder you were having fire blast hiccups! Obviously, that little bag can't have held many of them. Why is she afraid of you now?”

For an answer, KD took a treat out of the bag and gave the bag to Mister Hazard. As she munched the treat, she pointed out, “I just emptied the bag. Notice how it has another treat in it now?” She pointed to a large painting on one wall, “Is that a Clyden Dale?” As he looked, she held up the bag. It had returned.

“See, Mister Hazard, the bag is enchanted by a form of non Equine magic. It always has another treat and it always comes back to me. That is why Drawin is afraid of me. She expects me to erupt in flame at any moment. It won't happen though.”

A despairing Drawin Pitcher hung her head. “It has to. Once the bag is set, you can't change it.”

KD grinned. “Want to bet, Ms. Pitcher? Thanks to Grumpy, here, we not only sorted out your little scheme to end my art career, we met a Zebra (not Zecora, Ponyville has TWO zebras now) who was familiar with the spell. He showed us how to re set it. These treats are harmless. Really tasty, too.”

Mister Hazard suggested, “Now that is taken care of, let's get your things entered and hung. We were saving you a panel for your work. Thanks to Ms. Pitcher, we almost put your panel away. That is it, over there.”

KD smiled properly for a collection of important ponies and began setting her selections out along the bottom of the display panel. As an aside to us, she commented, “The Show's Committee will have the final call about what is hung and what is not.”

She looked about and zeroed in on Drawin Pitcher. “Drawin, if you will do it, I have a little actual paying work for you!”

The yellow mare looked up from where she was about to fill out some papers at the art show's main desk. “What can you possibly want from me, KD? After everypony finding out about my trick, I was going to withdraw from the show.”

KD agreed, “It was a pretty dirty trick, Drawin. Only the ponies here right now know about it, though. That does not change the fact that your work is first rate. Stay in the show. We can cover this up really easily. My pieces will need labels. As far as I know, you are the best calligrapher in Manehatten.

“Any pony claiming bad blood between us will have to explain how YOUR distinctive calligraphy is on my labels.”

“Why are you trying to help me, after what I did?”

KD sat and scratched at her jaw spines with her big left hind claws before answering, “Critical thinking, Drawin. There are two parts to you. One is more than a bit mean and underhoofed. The other makes works like the ones over there on the wall. That last part is too valuable to lose. The first part should be lost, if you can.

“I am trying to save that valuable second part.”

Sourly the green maned yellow mare said, “I see. Actually, thanks. I need sales from this show or money from somewhere else or I could lose my studio.”

Laying a big claw gently over the withers of Drawin, KD said, “I do understand. Before I got established, I was there more than once. Here is my list of titles. What will you charge me?”

“After this? I may need money but I don't need it that badly. I will get right on these.”

“Fair enough, Drawin. When you finish these up, go talk to Mister Hazard. He has a commission, no committees or the like. I had to let it go, due to time constraints. It might be just right for you.”

Watching in fascination, wondering where the embarrassment would come from, I felt a really sort of creepy sensation. I was not sure, but it seemed to involve the two strange ponies standing outside the door.

I saw Drawn Pitcher hard at work, her pen producing truly excellent calligraphic labels for KD's art.

I hated to interrupt, but there could be a life or more in the balance. I really did not care one way or the other about the yellow mare's life, but KD DID. That tipped the scales, as it were.

I strolled over to her. “May I interrupt you briefly, Ms. Pitcher?”

She looked up with a glare, paused and made an obvious effort to compose herself. “Um, you are the goat that KD brought here, aren't you?”

“Correct. My card.”

I proffered my business card. It was embossed stock with raised lettering in black and gold gilt. It said:

GRUMPETER “GRUMPY” GOAT

Licensed Practitioner of Non Equine Magic

All work by publicly registered contracts.

Refund of 110% if contract terms are not met.

A ROYALLY CHARTERED BUSINESS

“Impressive. How can a goat even have a Royally Chartered business?”

I sort of sucked in my nonexistent cheeks a little and retorted, “By being VERY good at what I do. I wanted to ask you about how you got that bag. I know that it was not made on this world. Either you summoned it, or you summoned a being that brought you the bag.

“Since you knew how to load it and trick KD into taking it, my money is on the second choice.”

She sort of hung her head and absently scraped at the floor with a hind hoof as she replied, “You are right. I did summon something. It was like a cloud of ugly dark smoke with eyes floating in it. I told it what I wanted to do. I mean make KD so that she would lose the contract, but not be actually hurt.

“It brought me the bag and told me how to set it.”

I nodded as parts started falling into place. “I see. Two more questions. Which book did you use and did your summoning go right on the first try?”

“Umm, I was afraid to try the Necronomipony. It has such a dangerous reputation. I used the Black Pullet as printed by Non Equine University Press.

“And no. I had to try twice for the summons to work. Is that important?”

Urgently, I asked, “Did you clean everything up after the failed try, or did you re use the same pentacles?”

“I re used them. Getting everything right was a LOT of work.”

I chuckled. “I do know about that! Non Equine magic is way harder than just waiving a wand around!

“Thing is, I believe that your first summoning may have worked. That is why I was checking on what you did.”

“What! Nothing happened. That is why I tried a second time.”

“I do understand, Drawin. I was just clearing something up. I will let you get back to your lettering. Beautiful work, by the way.”

Now sure of what happened, I sauntered over to the door. I gave the ponies waiting there my best, fang filled grin. “I see that you noticed that until the show opens tomorrow, that this is a private residence. Vamponies here in Equestria need to be invited into homes. The succubus should be able to enter without a problem. That means that she is tied to you, ma'am.”

I covered up my glamored in fangs as I bowed to them. “My name is Grumpeter Goat. Grumpy for short. As you have likely already noticed, I am dead. Not a zombie or anything like that, but totally deceased. Let us retire over to that bench under the shade tree in the garden while we talk. If that talk goes well, I will invite you in myself.”

The vampony nodded. “That makes sense, sort of. My name is Jinni and this is Sassy to her friends. Not sure what sort of power real names have here, but for now, I am not taking the chance. Getting out of the sun is a good idea.”

As we seated ourselves comfortably out in the garden, Sassy ventured, “What do you want to talk about? I don't think that we have done anything wrong.”

I raised a hoof in agreement. “Not yet, you haven't. You have already noticed that this world runs on slightly different rules than where you came from. I saw you try to enter through that open door. I am sure that nopony saw it. That is a rule that is different from your home. You can freely enter any public space, the door of a store, for instance. Private homes, not without an invitation.

“Daylight leaves you no stronger than an ordinary pony. Night will let you be about twenty times that strong. It will increase your ability to control your prey as well.

Jinni nodded slowly, “We have noticed some of that. Why are you trying to help us?”

I curled a lip and my eyes slitted. “I don't like most ponies very much, at all.

“Now, you need to understand some basic rules. This world is well aware of vamponies. They have tried and true methods of hunting down and destroying supernatural beings. So, the best way to manage, is to not draw attention to yourselves by leaving a trail of dead, dying and wounded ponies behind. Use your talents at prey control to take only small amounts at any one time.

“Let them think that they had a pleasant interlude with you, except for Sassy, there. They will feel like they had a fun INTERLEWD with her.”

They both had the courtesy to wince at my pun.

Jinni offered, “We came here because we sort of felt drawn to this place. We aren't sure why. Do you know that, Grumpy?”

“As a matter of fact, Jinni, I do. You were summoned here by a spell strong enough to warp you both into ponies. I don't know what you looked like before and don't care. Your natures have been preserved. There is a connection between summoner and summoned and that is what brought you here. The pony that summoned you is inside that place. She was trying to cut a rival out of a lucrative book illustration contract. She has failed.”

Sassy paused to think carefully. “What should we do and why would you let us into that house?”

I grinned again. Gave them a great show of phony fangs. “As I pointed out, the path of safety lies in moderation. If you agree to it, I can let you in to play fanpony to our guilty party. You know, autographs and the whole nine yards. Her name is Drawin Pitcher. She is yellow with a green mane and tail. Because she summoned you, SHE can't keep you out of HER home or any private space of hers.

“She can do one thing for you that will make the rest worthwhile, unless you REALLY LIKE being ponies with unusual diets. She has the spell book and knows the spell that will send you back where you came from.”

Both responded at once, “WE DON'T!” Jinni added with a smile that showed her fangs, “It IS fun for a nice visit. Say, a week or two. Shall we go in?”

“I shall precede you, ladies, and introduce you to the nice young mare who invited you to this world.” Reaching the door, I stepped in and bowed, “Jinni and Sassy, would you please come in? The artist that you are looking for is over at that desk.”

Jinni's eyes were glued to KD. “That is a dragon!”

“No kidding. That is KD, the artist who Drawin was trying to muscle out of the contract.”

That got them both to focus. They squealed fairly quietly as they descended on Drawin Pitcher! “It's really her! Oh, Ms. Pitcher! It is so great to actually meet you!”

At first, she tried futilely to fend off the duo. I noticed that her really good calligraphy was now labeling all of KD's works, hanging on both sides of her panel. I realized that the two were interfering with Drawin Pitcher's signing something for Mr. Hazard of Haphazard House Publishing.

We found out what it was very quickly. Jinni squealed in delight, “Your first book of art! They will be the luckiest foals in the kingdom that get to color your drawings! Can I get a copy with your autograph on it?”

Drawin Pitcher looked like she was ready to sink through the floor with her face aflame.

I cheerfully leaned up against KD and questioned, “What do you think of Drawin's cheering section. They will be fanponying her for the next few weeks!”

KD watched with amusement. She offered, “You really did not get much for all of your trouble, Grumpy. If you wanted to, you could make a killing off the painting of Wind by the T82. Not only do the critics think that it is a great piece of fantasy realism, Wind has agreed to stay for the show and pose by the painting so ponies can see her genuine metal arm and sword. The show has not opened yet and there have been three bids. The last one was for over a thousand gold bits.”

I agreed, “Monetarily, this contract was a bust. At least I did not have to give out a refund. I am going to keep the picture. It is a better treasure to me than gold.”

KD chuckled, “Are you feeling all right? I thought that I just heard you say that something was worth more than gold!

“Drawin will be both taken care of by that contract and embarrassed to death. It is an open ended one to draw foal's coloring books. The money is really pretty good but even with her good work doing well at shows, she will always be remembered as the mare that draws those foal's books.

“Our contract is fulfilled, Grumpy. You will get the autographed Daring Do book when it is ready for distribution but before it hits the stores.”

~THE END~

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#HICCUPS!#MLP Fan Fiction #The Annals of Grumpy Goat #Written by De Writer

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emsysquared · 7 years

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Top 10 Things I Learned From Artist Alleys

Hi guys! I thought I’d write a post on some things I’ve learned from selling my own art at artist alleys over the years & talking to fellow artists, as it’s something I’ve wanted to discuss and thought people would be interested. This isn’t really an Artist Alley 101 guide, as I wrote this in mind for both for beginners and veterans, because even if you’ve been tabling for years, there are things about the artist alley scene that can keep changing, or things you never knew about. Hope this helps!

LONG POST IS LONG WARNING

10. Bigger doesn’t always mean better – people keep thinking this, but it’s not always true.

Smaller conventions are easier to talk to attendees/artists because there’s often slow periods, and are good if if they’re local and you need a place to start. You can also get away with having only a few things to sell and if it doesn’t go well it won’t be a huge loss. Smaller cons tend to also have a lower table cost, and because the artist alley is smaller, it’s easier to “stand out”. Probably because of this, I’ve heard some cases where some people have made the same amount of profits from certain small cons vs. big cons, meaning, they actually got more sales per person at the smaller con.

Bigger conventions CAN command big bucks and keep you busier with sales because there’s more attendees and potentially more money to go around. However, they are also more competitive: if all you have is ONE print when everyone else around you has huge displays, you risk people passing by you because they may think you don’t have anything of interest to offer. As an example, maybe at the small con, your Overwatch solo D.Va print was the only one there and it did well, but at a big con, 20 other artists could also have similar D.Va prints and are now competing with each other, which is something you should consider.

Every con is different so when researching, you want to take into consideration the ratio of artist/vendor tables available in conjunction to attendee count, events/guests, and the con environment.

With both cons, if you frequent the same ones, try to keep things fresh and make new stuff or else you risk oversaturating your market and having people come up to your table thinking “I’ve seen that same poster 3 years already, and I already have it. What’s new?”

9. Just because something is popular doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll sell right away – there’s a fine line between “it’s popular so fans will buy it” and “it’s popular but it’s oversaturated because everyone and their mom drew it and it won’t sell unless you differentiate your work from everyone else”. I’d argue if you’re passionate about a series and it just happens to be popular, go for it! You should draw what you like, because it’ll show in how you interact with other fans and the effort you put into it.

If you’re only drawing for the popularity, well, there’s a bit of debate about this. And let’s be honest, some of us need to pay bills. I’ll argue if you ONLY draw whatever is popular to sell out, it can reflect in the quality of your work and make you unmemorable (and you can still risk it not selling), but hey, you do you. But drawing only niche things may also be tricky, since the fans are probably very passionate, but few in number. Sometimes finding a balance between both can work, but at the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide what path you want to take. Most artists start out doing fanart as it’s easier for someone to walk up to your table if they recognize their favorite character than a table full of random OCs standing in a backgroundless void. But that’s not to say originals can’t sell because....

8. Originals sell! Don’t be afraid to make original content – this might shock some of you but original merchandise DOES sell, according to many successful anecdotal stories from artists and art friends who’ve done it, and a lot of people have said it is very rewarding, especially when you consider how prevalent fanart is. However, originals can be harder to sell – it will highly depend on the subject matter you’re drawing and attendees at certain cons may be more or less receptive to them than others, so you may have to try different cons to find your market. What has worked for others may not work for you. You might even need time to develop a consistency with your work so people know what to expect from you.

There are also a few conventions out there, such as Otakon, which do require you to have a certain % of originals when you apply for their artist alley, so there’s that.

7. Have stuff with different price points at your table – my personal opinion is “Do not do print-only tables” but I know there are artists out there who DO command good profits only selling prints and posters of their artwork.

But why I say this is because (especially at anime cons) there are usually younger kids who don’t have much disposable income or don’t have a lot of wall space and thus, can’t always afford big $20 posters, which is where having smaller items like charms and buttons can help as impulse purchases. It may take you 10 purchases of $2 buttons to reach that equivalent amount, but if you do get enough sales they’ll add up. Plus, it’s easier for some people to make use of charms and buttons.

Prints are still good because the profit margin is better and they're a way for your audience to see your "portfolio" and art style from afar. At larger cons where there’s a sea of artists, having many prints can help others see what you have or help find your table from a distance. Try and stick to common print sizes such as 11x17 inches, 8.5x11, 4x6 or 5x7, mostly on the basis that they’re easier to frame.

One thing - unless you plan on traveling to many conventions in your life, you do NOT need to print 50+ copies of each print if all you do is table at your small local con once a year. You will regret it and be stuck with them until you die (I’m not kidding). Unless a piece has proven to you it’s a best seller, I recommend printing 5-10 copies a print, 2-4 if you aren’t confident. You can always reprint more if they sell well, or replace them with newer prints.

Comic cons I hear are a little different, as their audience is usually older, but I can’t say much about them since I never actually vended at one before.

6. You gotta spend money to make money – You wanna make cool stuff like charms, lanyards, enamel pins? A button maker to make your own buttons? A dealer’s room spot instead of a regular artist alley table? Travel to cons outside your city? Heck, just buying table display stuff and getting new prints? That all costs money, bruh. This might require you save up, and some people I know even use their day job to help fund them to afford nice things. But artist alley IS also a business, and if you want your business to grow, you’ll need to take risks and invest in it. However, know that this should happen gradually over time and NOT overnight. If you literally have no previous experience selling your art and knowing what worked for you, do NOT carelessly throw down money to make every fancy merchandise imaginable.

5. Talk to people and engage with attendees! I say this because I’ve seen quite a few artists who are great at their craft, but aren’t good at business at all. Even if you aren’t confident about your work, still strive to be as professional as possible. And be your own cheerleader/salesman to your art! If the con is slow, don’t ignore customer’s questions by playing mobile games on your phone. People get energy off of you, and if you happen to seem like you hate people, attendees pick up on that. A lot of people who go to anime cons can be introverted/shy as well, so just saying hi and ask how they’re enjoying the con is a good start to engage with them! If you notice they’re cosplaying a character, tell them you like their cosplay or happen to have that character as a button! You’d be surprised some people may not know you offer a product because they overlooked it.

I usually let customers browse the table without bothering them, as people get uncomfortable if you’re being too desperate with sales.

4. Displays and Table Placement matter- Your table placement at a convention can dictate a HUGE majority of your sales, and how you display yourself also counts as well. You could have amazing art, but maybe your table is in some back corner where it’s not getting enough foot traffic compared to the people in the front. Additionally, if you have merchandise hidden behind other merch, other people can’t see it as they walk by. Presentation is important, there are so many possibilities you can do to make your table look nice.

The most common way people display their prints are usually either by using grid cubes, photography stands or PVC pipes with clamps. All of these have their pros and cons, and some artists even use a combination of the 3.

3. Cons are extremely volatile. Artist alley is NOT a place to “get rich quick” – To be blunt (and unfortunately, speaking from personal experience), you can’t predict when you’ll get dicked over by a badly-run con. No two cons are the same, and the same convention can even vary from year to year, depending on things like how it was run by staff, its location, when it was held, etc. At one con, you may sell out of prints. At another, only your commissions do well. Even something as simple as a venue change and increasing the amount of artist/vendor tables can affect sales. You can only prepare as much as you can and hope you survive the rainy days.

I used to think as you got older and sold at more artist alleys, your profits could only go up and boy was I wrong with that notion. The realest piece of advice I’ve learned is seeing seasoned veterans (who are used to making 4-digit profits or artists who have done this for over 7 years) having times where they hit a bad con and don’t even break even. If you’ve never had a terrible con before, you are either very lucky or you have not vended at enough different cons to experience this.

A lot of different factors can come into play, and while some you can’t control, think of the ones that you can – was your setup bad? What do you see other attendees buying? Or maybe was this your first con in a completely different area and it caught you off guard? If you feel your art was lacking, don’t lose confidence. Look at it as an opportunity to find yourself again, and work hard on your craft so you can show everyone at your next event “hey, this is the new and improved me! Look at how far I’ve come!”

2. Artist alleys can be stressful and are getting more competitive, but it’s important to develop a thick skin to keep moving on – I should clarify this, AA should NOT be a sea of cutthroat competition because every con has its mix of those starting out, the veterans who have been doing this for 10 years, and everyone else in between. And everyone has something different to bring to the table. However, the fact is… artist alleys are getting competitive each year just to GET IN. At some popular cons, there’s always more applicants than tables available, and you can’t take it personally when 1,000+ people are in a lottery for 90 tables.

As artists, we are always our worst critics as well, just because art can be highly personable to us. There’s a lot of things that can go wrong in the moment. Maybe you got more commissions than you can handle. Your new merchandise didn’t arrive on time. Or you worry your art isn’t “sellable”. All of these can be pretty frustrating and question your self-worth as an artist. But just know you are not alone, all of us have had those moments at least once, maybe even multiple times in our lives. Sometimes you just have to keep marching on, despite things. And if you need time to step away to take a breather, go ahead and take care of yourself first.

1. … But you keep wanting to do them because they are also one of the best experiences you can have as a creative – despite the above, artist alleys have been an integral part of my growth as an artist. Seeing what everyone has to offer has challenged me to keep improving my art and helped me meet fellow artist friends thru our comradery of shared experiences, interests, and stresses. It’s very easy to feel dejected, but if you can keep pushing thru, you’ll probably benefit the most than those who give up at the slightest hint of being butthurt. The artist alley life isn’t exactly easily, but it’s heartwarming when you have moments where “doing what you love” and “drawing what you like” feel like it paid off.

Don’t feel bad if your first shows don’t go logistically or financially great! I never realized how lucky I was that my first AA, I broke even AND made profit, because many apparently don’t. Go into it as an opportunity to market your work, meet other artists and customers, and figure out what people like about your art. Artist alley is not for everyone, but if you find that you’re growing to love it despite the hiccups, keep going! My AA experience isn’t as extensive as others, but I hope with this, this is my way of giving back to the artist alley community that helped me grow as an artist.

If you’re still worried if you’re “good enough” to do artist alley, here’s my final advice: just do it, bruh.

#artist alley #artist alley tips #first time artist alley #how to be a con artist #if you read this far THANK U AND I HOPE THIS HELPED. and feel free to send me an ask or message if you have any questions!1

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recentanimenews · 6 years

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The Most Memorable Anime Dance Sequences of All Time!

Anime is an amazing medium because of the way things flow and look on screen, like when action sequences suck us in with amazing animation and quieter scenes can stun with captivating visuals. Perhaps one of the least appreciated parts of anime, though, are the amazing dance sequences that can pop up in our favorite shows and even in their opening and endings. Dance can really be an amazing medium on its own, and with the right animation and music, anime dances can seem almost magical! But which ones are the best? I’ve gathered what I think are the 10 best overall anime dance sequences, and I’m ranking them based on their style, choreography, and their overall ability to stick in our minds. If you’re looking for a new dance to try out with your friends at a cosplay gathering for this year’s con circuit, or maybe you just appreciate a good dance as much as I do, hit the dance floor and get ready to show off some sick moves!

10) Kill Me Baby Ending Dance Sequence

Coming in at number 10, I’ve got the dance from the Kill Me Baby ending theme “The True Secret of Our Feelings.” This unique duet encapsulates the odd mood and style of the series, with a unique blend of comedy that is wholly its own. While it is a unique and quirky dance, that’s the reason I found it so memorable! Seeing this dance at the end of every episode was a great way to cap off any episode, as well as a great little bit of music and dancing that captured what Kill Me Baby was all about: weird, cute comedy! One of the things I really appreciated about this dance was the way that the moves keep specific timing with the beat, which really showed a level of though similar to the sometimes subtle punchlines of the show.

9) Sgt. Frog Ending Dance Sequence

Fittingly at number 9 spot is the 9th ending song of Sgt. Frog, “Spinning, Turning, Once Around!” When this song hit during the anime’s broadcast, it became a huge sensation online, spawning lots of people doing their own group renditions of the dance. At first it might seem like the song is more memorable and catchy than the dance, which is why it’s a bit lower on our list than others, but the dance itself is quite fun and actually very subtle! Much of it is focused on specific, timed movements between a group, and keeping up that manic pace as the song’s tempo increases is part of the fun. The parody videos people have made are almost as entertaining as the original (especially to see how people interpreted Tamama’s entrance into the ending!), so for that reason alone I knew I had to put it on this list.

8) Free - Iwatobi Swim Club-'s Ending Sequence

Free! -Iwatobi Swim Club- certainly made a huge splash (sorry, not sorry) when it hit the scene a few years ago, and people were instantly sucked into the sports and non-sport drama of the swim club boys. But perhaps one of the most memorable parts of the series was it's absolutely off the wall ending sequence, featuring cast members alternating between dancing in a night club and an Arabian themed hunt for an oasis! While some might argue that certain viewers were more interested in the amount of abs on display in the ending, I’ll say that while that was great, the oddball dance sequence and fun visuals of the ending are what really caught our attention. Free! itself seems to have owned up to the silliness of the first ending, as the recent movie had the guys creating a themed recruitment video in something of a fun callback to the original season’s ending visuals. The night club scene was so popular, it even inspired some neat merchandise for fans to buy! And while fans will probably argue over who the best Free! boy is, I have to say that Haru’s hair flipping to the beat in this ending is pretty show stealing!

7) Carnival Phantasm's Opening Dance Sequence

The TYPE-MOON series Fate/Stay Night and Tsukihime have spawned countless fans between all of the various versions of anime spin offs from the original games, but none perhaps captured the madcap silliness the fandom had invented better than the Carnival Phantasm series. A selection of comical shorts featuring characters from both the Fate and Tsukihime series, the show kicked off each episode with a high energy and catchy theme song that was accompanied by the main characters of each series dancing along in time. Seeing Saber, Rin, Arcueid and many others dancing cutely was enough to get this on our list, but the huge group dance scenes in between those really helped cement this one in place. Carnival Phantasm was filled with callbacks to events in both series, their anime, and even long-time in jokes, and the opening copied that as well, with odd little easter eggs for careful viewers to spot. Although Carnival Phantasm never got an official release outside of Japan, the opening song was popular enough to inspire some fan reactions. If you take a look at it, let us know if you can spot the Assassin cut-out…!

6) JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable Opening Dance Sequence

As much as I would like to put this next entry on the list with “Koichi pose” and leave it at that, there’s definitely more to be said about this one. Our number 6 spot goes to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable’s first opening song, “Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town,” featuring cast members dancing along to the song as they introduce themselves. Diamond is Unbreakable really exuded a specific bouncy charm and vibrancy to it that made it different from previous JoJo seasons, and this opening song really helped to sell that mood. Starting off with Josuke, Koichi, Jotaro and Okuyasu on a stage like a boy band, the song kept up that high energy throughout, making it a catchy tune with somewhat even more memorable dance moves. Although it isn’t as thoroughly choreographed as some of our other entries, it would be hard to really forget certain scenes here, and the way it fits the series is a huge plus to us.

5) Blood Blockade Battlefront Ending Dance Sequence

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Blood Blockade Battlefront was a series that dripped style from the way it was animated to the character designs, and the ending theme, “Sugar Song and Bitter Step,” had an amazing segue of dancing scenes that really helped cement that in our minds. Much like Sgt. Frog, the ending of Blood Blockade Battlefront spawned lots of homage videos from fan artists and cosplayers recreating the dance steps with their own unique takes on it. Perhaps one of the most memorable bits of the whole sequence, though, is the way in which it helped sell character interactions and relationships even in the ending song; watching the various ways Zapp interacted with people, for example, or the little cues to season one’s major plot points in various parts was a hidden treat that rewarded keen viewers attention. The song itself matches the jazzy dance steps and costuming as well, making it an overall catchy and fun sequence to watch over and over again!

4) Uta no Prince Sama Ending Dance Sequence

Considering that it’s a series about handsome idols doing amazing song and dance routines, it probably doesn’t surprise you to see Uta no Prince Sama’s “Maji Love 2000%” make it onto our list at number 4. The dance is so fluid and stylish that you could easily see a real idol group easily perform something similar, and the accompanying fan screams during specific moments really made the whole scene amazing. Plus, as the pay off to a tense and dramatic season finale, the whole dance really felt like an amazing reward for viewers to see. I’ll be honest with you all: there are a few scenes in this dance that I enjoy quite a lot, and it probably isn’t hard to figure out why! If you like your idols handsome and with good rhythm, you should consider checking out Uta no Prince Sama!

3) Vegeta's Bingo Dance from Dragon Ball Z: Battle of the Gods

This next dance caught us so off guard when I first saw it that I think you’ll agree it deserves a high place on our list: Vegeta’s bingo dance! First seen in the Dragon Ball Z: Battle of the Gods movie and then again in the Dragon Ball Super anime adaptation of it, Vegeta’s desperate attempt to distract Beerus from destroying Earth was perhaps never so apparent as it was in this madcap dance sequence. Vegeta’s improvisational song and dance are pretty amazing on their own, but perhaps the most memorable thing about them is what it meant for the Dragon Ball series as a whole: a marked shift in Vegeta’s character and personality. Super really focused heavily on Vegeta’s growth early on, letting us see his change from the cold hearted and distant “Prince of all Saiyans” of Dragon Ball Z into a man who, while still surly, really cares for his family and other people enough to throw away his pride and put on a ridiculous dance to save the day. I love Dragon Ball Super and I love Vegeta, and this dance really just put a big bow on why!

2) Torture Dance from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind

A relative newcomer compared to the rest of the list, our number 2 spot goes to that torture dance scene from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind! One of the best things an anime adaptation can do is take things that it’s source material did, and give it a unique spin that only an animated series can do, and David Production really knocked it out of the park with this! Changing a single page set of panels into a minute long visual trip was amazing! It also gave us a little fun insight into the relationships of the Bucciarati gang; we see goofball Narancia start off, only to have the slightly more serious Mista join in, followed by the extremely high strung Fugo working together in perfect harmony as their torture target suffers in the background. The original song, “Canonzi Preferite,” created to go along with the dance is another great touch, as are the trippy visuals between dance steps. It’s a real treat to watch this dance scene over and over again, and it’s something that really helped me find my love for Part 5 immediately!

1) The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Ending Dance Sequence

If you’ve read this far and asked “Where is it?” you’ve probably already predicted what's in the #1 spot: the famous “Hare Hare Yukai” dance from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya! It may be hard to imagine that it’s been over 13 years (ohmygod, it’s been THAT LONG?) since this song first hit the anime world like a tidal wave, and it’s dance soon became a convention staple for groups of cosplayers! It’s hard to deny the memories of seeing fan renditions of the dance pop up on the early days of social media, and the enduring popularity of the dance sequence really says all there is to say about why it’s my number one pick. Even if we discounted the history now attached to the dance, it’s hard to argue that there’s a stronger contender on our list; the song is matched perfectly by the movements of the cast, and it gives off an air of natural movement that’s hard to match! Many other dances on our list are broken up by other strings of animation stills or cut aways, Hare Hare Yukai got an entire minute of pure dancing down the line, with impressive choreography considerations for its age. It’s pretty hard to deny: Haruhi is still on top when it comes to dancing!

And there you have it! I hope you enjoyed this collection of amazing anime dance sequences, and if you feel so inclined, maybe you can dance along yourself at home or at your next convention outing. Just remember to limber up, practice, and dance like the blinds are closed; after all, dancing is about having fun, so hit the floor and get to it!

Have a dance that you think should be on this list? Let us know in the comments!

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Nicole is a features and a social video script writer for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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pseudocitrus · 7 years

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a very basic guide on how to find doujin in tokyo

i went to japan recently and i love doujin so i spent a lot of time hunting around for them. i felt like writing about it, so, here's my write about how to find/buy doujin in tokyo if you have absolutely no idea how to do so :)

disclaimer: this is current as of sept. 2017. i write this from a foreigner's perspective, and also from scrambling together a lot of here-and-there online resources and personal observation. so, it's very likely that i've gotten some language/cultural things wrong, this is just meant as a post for someone who knows absolutely nothing and also meant as a memory helper for me personally lol. if i do get something wrong, feel free to correct me ^^

why buy doujin in japan?

probably the main reason would be that it's MUUCH cheaper. recently-released doujin cost around ~¥800 to ~¥1500, whereas older works can be ¥400, or even ¥200 each if your pairing isn't that popular. in the US, in my experience, doujin can cost $20 (or ~¥2000).

(as a note, some doujin are at a premium — for example, works by 3745 house are ¥2000 each, and i also saw some gearous art books for ¥5000.)

i also enjoy the treasure hunting aspect. being in the tg fandom and being weirdly fond of rarepairs, i felt really excited every time i came across kaneki/touka or even ones like tsukiyama&hinami, tsukiyama&kanae, tsukiyama&nishiki 😲

some stores allow you to buy “tax-free” as well if you have a non-japanese passport with a temporary visa (i think this is the kind of visa you need). for example, in mandarake, if you spend over a certain amount (¥5000~¥5400) then they'll refund you the sales tax. they staple a little customs form into your passport which can theoretically be checked by an officer who will make sure you have everything you bought in your possession and weren't buying it for a citizen. but, no one has ever actually like gone through every doujin title that i bought (thank goodness, honestly). you can remove this customs form when you depart japan.

where to get doujin

here are the “must-hit” stores!

mandarake

in case you don't know already (i certainly did not for a long time), mandarake is a good store to search for doujin! they sell a variety of used/new anime/manga/idol goods, and have shelves upon shelves of doujin, usually with “women's sections” (containing mostly BL) and “men's sections” (containing what you might think of as, like, “hentai”).

in tokyo, there are at least four “major” mandarake locations —

akihabara

contains the super large multi-level complex with a whole men's floor and a women's floor, as well as other floors for toys and stuff. this location isn't far from the JR akihabara station.

ikebukuro

contains a smaller mandarake which is very women-focused, with no “men's section” that i can remember. this particular location is beside a lot of k-books stores which contain merch and more doujin.

nakano

also accessible by JR rail, and a short distance from the station, through nakano broadway. i think this is the “flagship” mandarake, and there are like seventeen stores in one mall-like setting, nestled beside other goods stores, some of which also have doujin. the women's and men's sections are in separate rooms and i had good luck here finding other merch.

shibuya

the smallest mandarake of the ones listed — with more of a focus on retro toys, though there's tons of doujin and idol stuff here too.

(as a sidenote, i also went to osaka, where there are two mandarake. one of them has a live stage where the women's section is. the other organized their doujin in a way that i couldn't quite parse and was too shy to ask about.)

k-books

in ikebukuro there are like TONS of different kbooks buildings so be sure you're visiting the right one! each kbooks is a “something館” which means “something building.” for example, “コスプレ館” or “cosplay building” has a lot of cosplay stuff, there’s also a “games building” which contains games merch like from pokemon, etc.

for doujin, go to “同人館” or “doujin building,” which is on a road called “otome road” (and also has the mandarake nearby underground! also — there’s also a “k-books athlete building” near here which contains only stuff from sports anime! which is separate from the other one that has mercy for other anime. last time i was there it was half yuri on ice, haha.)

in k-books, you can get a points card for ¥100 which lets you accumulate points to get other goods when you buy stuff, idk. i didn’t actually research this that much because i ran into it only on the last day. seems useful tho!

melonbooks

honestly, i don’t know that much about melonbooks. the ones that i’ve visited were in nagoya and ikebukuro and they felt more “men”-centered. it seems there can be melonbooks-exclusive doujin here. could be worth checking out if you see one. my impression was that it sells stuff that is popular or recently released. if you are squicked by hentai, be warned that in certain “men”-centered areas they play it on small monitors.

tora no ana

i visited only a couple of these so i don’t know that much either, but my impression was that like melonbooks it sells stuff that is popular or recently released. anyway it’s probably worth looking at too! if you are squicked by hentai, be warned that in certain “men”-centered areas they play it on small monitors.

i was on the hunt for TG stuff mostly which isn’t incredibly popular right now, so i wasn’t as interested in tora no ana. (regarding tg, however, i think wherever you go you can probably find tsukikane.)

general tips before you set out

these are good things to get in order before you go hunting!

know what you’re looking for, specifically. if you’re looking for something specific, think get the title, maybe a photo of the cover, the artist name, and the circle name. make sure that you know the artist/circle name as it’s written in japanese (whether by kana, kanji, or roman characters). also make sure that you know how the japanese ship is spelled.

know what you’re looking for, generally. if you’re not looking for something specific, think of all the possible series/games you might be interested in. i went out for TG but then circled back to all the stores once i realized i really wanted to find something by mikami takeru, lol. (also, if i had done my research beforehand, i would have known that what i wanted was a certain mikami takeru anthology — instead i was a fool and ended up buying some doujin, and then ALSO buying the anthology when i found it later, and doubling up on some stories 😭). i also ended up in doujin sections for “games” and realized i was also kind of interested in phoenix wright and persona 5 and odin sphere. anyway, it’s just good to know ur facts beforehand.

know the store opening/closing hours and days. they tend to open kind of late, like around noon, and are open until later, like 8pm or 9pm. stores in japan tend to be closed on tuesdays (which can affect your overall plans). idk it’s just probably good to confirm things. also, it can be really small quarters in doujin stores, so consider going during weekdays when it will be quieter and easy for you to move around.

if you’re not familiar with the japanese alphabetical order, keep a copy with you. since things are arranged alphabetically and all that.

bring your passport! for the aforementioned sales-tax-free shopping.

how to find doujin

every store is kind of different. but, generally, if you’re in the “women’s section:”

there will be a small area for newly-released stuff for popular series, like doujin that just came out during recent events, ex. natsukomi. this area is fun to browse because the doujin covers are facing outward and there are small “sample” prints on the back that show more of the art style. older works are shelved normally and all you can see is the cover art. (all doujin are sealed in plastic which you can’t open in store.)

it’s also likely that there will be separate sections for overall genres — anime, games, “western” (like sherlock), jump series (ex. shounen jump, young jump).

popular series (which right now are yuri on ice, osomatsu-san, haikyuu, gintama, jojo, etc.) will often have their own “major section” after that, with lots of shelves devoted to them.

i wish i had a picture of this but i don’t, so just imagine shelves packed with doujin with little manilla folder tabs sticking out, haha. for less popular series, the series name will be written on these tabs. series will be listed in alphabetical japanese order.

within series, things will be organized by ship, which will also be in alphabetical japanese order. if the circle is popular, it will also likely be listed in a tab.

when you find the tab you want, the doujin pertaining to that tab will be listed to the RIGHT of the tab. keep searching shelves from left to right, up to down.

also — these stores can be overwhelming in their density of doujin. if you don’t really want to spend a lot of time searching, feel free to just ask somebody about it. i just said something that was probably silly like tokyo ghoul no doujinshi arimasen ka or tokyo ghoul no doujinshi sagashitemasu ga…. and an attendant will lead you to the section. while i was furiously battling my social anxiety i saw another foreigner just bust into the store with a picture saying “KONO MANGA ARIMASU KA?” and she got her answer and led to her desired location immediately, so, there you go.

for a not-as-popular fandom like TG, the sections in stores tended to be very small. the majority of it was tsukikane, but i crawled through everything anyway, and did in fact find like THREE WHOLE KANETOU doujin tucked away in there!! anything that wasn’t tsukikane (which tended to be arisasa and utayomo) was basically listed as “その他” or “other pairings.” if you’re looking for TG and are an english-speaker, it might help for you to look for TYUUNI! which is a popular circle and easier to spot than trying to read all the japanese. again, though, if you’re having trouble, don’t be weird like me, just ask.

this might also be a “duh” kind of thing, but, doujin with nsfw content will have “R18” somewhere on the cover. also, ships included in the doujin are often listed on the back. this doesn’t really help you when you can’t open doujin packs, but i noticed that some doujin recently have been including content warnings in the beginning that are like, “this doujin contains arisasa...it starts maybe looking like it might be sasa/ari, but it’s arisasa! if you don’t like this, please close the book.” idk if you are in a situation where you CAN open the book and read japanese and are squicked by pairings/certain content, maybe this will be valuable information 4 u.

general tips while searching

in stores like mandrake, there are footstools that you can use to access higher shelves, but it’s generally bad to use these for sitting. if you do this someone will probably ask you to stop, haha.

in stores like mandarake, there are also glass “showcases” (ショーケース) which generally contain nice merch but can also contain doujin. i went through a lot of trouble to find a mikami takeru anthology only to buy it and then walk out and realize there was one right in the store window for a slightly different price! it turned out the conditions of the two were different (with the display version being more expensive because it didn’t have a crease) — but maybe you care about creases! idk! check the showcase!

i’m pretty sure most stores have shopping baskets, if you see one you can take it to help carry your loads of doujin u are gonna buy.

also be careful about if stores would prefer that you make your purchase on each floor, rather than taking your unpaid-for goods to a different floor.

if you need to get past someone, you can say “sumimasen.”

it’s possible that different versions of the same doujin will come with different promotional material too, like an extra little flyer or something.

mmmm, that’s all i can think of now, will probably add some more later.

if you’re going be able to hunt for doujin soon — good luck/have fun! if not — i hope you get the chance to!

#personal #pseudochat #my own ref post #lol #long post

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ramajmedia · 5 years

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Jumanji: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About The Making Of The Original Movie

If you grew up in the '90s, chances are you have fond memories of Jumanji. Based on a children’s book by Chris Van Allsburg, director Joe Johnston’s fantasy-adventure box office smash has won over countless fans since hitting theaters in 1995. Indeed, the franchise’s recent resurgence—in the form of 2017’s Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle and the forthcoming Jumanji: The Next Level —serves as an undeniable testament to Jumanji’s enduring appeal.

RELATED: 10 Best Board Games Based On Popular TV Shows And Movies To Own

While the cast and crew behind these sequels have done the Jumanji brand proud, the original movie will always hold a special place in our hearts. We can’t help but be impressed by everything that went on behind the scenes to make Jumanji such an instant classic.

10 Tom Hanks Was The Original Choice To Play Alan Parrish

Jumanji may have been an unqualified commercial success, but the film’s critical reception was decidedly more mixed. That said, one aspect of the film that was universally appreciated by critics was Robin Williams’ turn as adult lead Alan Parrish. Indeed, it’s virtually impossible to picture anyone else in the role—unless you happen to be director Joe Johnston.

As we’ve reported before, Johnston and producers Scott Kroopf and William Teitler originally had another Hollywood icon in mind to play Alan: Tom Hanks. One of the most versatile actors of his generation, Hanks certainly has the chops necessary to juggle the dramatic and comedic aspects of Alan’s character, but we’re nevertheless glad the role ultimately went to Williams.

9 The Screenplay Went Through Substantial Rewrites

As anyone who’s even vaguely familiar with the movie-making business will tell you, it’s standard practice for a screenplay to undergo multiple rewrites before the cameras roll. Jumanji was no exception: the script was heavily revised prior to shooting, in large part because Robin Williams passed on the first version he read.

For those keeping score, Jumanji’s first treatment–which incidentally was strong enough to get the project greenlit by TriStar Pictures – was penned by the book’s author, Chris Van Allsburg. This treatment was then fleshed out into a full screenplay by Jonathan Hensleigh, Greg Taylor, and Jim Strain, who jettisoned the more surrealist elements Van Allsburg had retained from his book in favor of a more mainstream story that met with Williams’ approval.

8 ILM Developed Custom Software To Create Realistic CG Animals

The computer-generated imagery in Jumanji hasn’t aged particularly gracefully in the 24 years following its release—but back in 1995, it was groundbreaking stuff. That’s not hyperbole, either: the visual effects artists at Industrial Light & Magic didn’t just raise the bar in terms of creating realistic CG animals, they invented brand new tools to do so.

Arguably the most impressive innovation devised by the legendary effects house was iSculpt, a tool which enabled animators to develop entire libraries of convincing facial expressions for each animal. ILM also utilized proprietary software when it came time to render the fur on Jumanji’s artificial wildlife, with the pixel-perfect monkey and lion hair in the film setting a new standard for photorealistic CGI.

RELATED: 10 Awesome Ruby Roundhouse Cosplays That Look Good Enough To Be In Jumanji

7 Bradley Pierce Spent Nearly Four Hours In The Make-Up Chair

Halfway through Jumanji, Bradley Pierce’s Peter is transformed into a human-monkey hybrid, courtesy of the titular boardgame’s supernatural powers. Although the film pushed contemporary CGI to its limits to accomplish many of its outlandish visuals, back in 1995, the only way to create this “monkey boy” effect was via prosthetics.

This was bad news for Pierce, as it meant spending 3.5 uncomfortable hours in the make-up chair every morning for nearly 70 days. Most adults would struggle with such a grueling start to their day, but for 12-year-old Pierce, it was an especially trying ordeal. On the plus side, Robin Williams kept him company early on, offering the child star tips on how to cope, which he’d picked up during his similar experiences filming Mrs. Doubtfire.

6 Robin Williams Dialed Back The Improvisation

Robin Williams was renowned for being a master of improvisational comedy. Not only did it make him a popular guest on the late-night talk show circuit, but it also added extra spice to many of his big screen performances. But for Jumanji, it became clear to director Joe Johnston early on that Williams' penchant for going off-script would need to be reined in if the movie was going to work.

Fortunately, Williams agreed. For each of his scenes, the star would do several takes that followed the screenplay word-for-word, to ensure that all the necessary plot points were covered off. Once those takes were safely in the can, he would film an additional take, this time incorporating some restrained ad-libbing, which Johnson was free to either use or discard.

5 Samuel Parrish And Van Pelt Are Played By The Same Actor

It’s an oft-overlooked casting detail that has launched more than a few fan theories: Jonathan Hyde plays both Alan Parrish’s stern father Samuel and Jumanji’s resident big game hunter Van Pelt. It’s easy to miss on first viewing, as the flamboyant mustache, wig and costume Van Pelt sports are more than enough to distance him from Samuel Parrish’s more staid aesthetic.

But once you do realize that the same actor plays both parts, it really does add a new (and totally unexpected) layer of subtext to Jumanji. For what it’s worth, we think most of the theories floating around online overcomplicate matters, but this one makes sense: The Samuel/Van Pelt connection is a subtle way of reinforcing Alan’s emotional journey of learning to face his fears and accept responsibility for his actions.

RELATED: 15 Crazy Things You Didn’t Know About Jumanji

4 Robin Williams Gave The Cast Autographed Gifts

It’s common for filmmakers to celebrate the completion of principal photography with presents for their colleagues. For example, when shooting on Jumanji wrapped, Robin Williams handed each of his fellow cast members hardbound copies of the shooting script. What’s more, each of these tomes was autographed by the Hollywood A-lister, adding to their value considerably.

But we highly doubt any of the recipients will ever sell their gifts. Why? Because Williams’ signature was accompanied by a handwritten, personalized message, which elevates these hardcovers from thoughtful gesture to priceless keepsake status —especially following the actor’s untimely demise in 2014.

3 Kirsten Dunst Blew Her Castmates Away

Despite only being 12 when the cameras rolled on Jumanji, Kirsten Dunst already had several high-profile film credits under her belt. Among the more memorable roles at this point in Dunst’s burgeoning career were Claudia in Interview with the Vampire, Campbell McCoy in Bonfire of the Vanities and the young Amy March in Little Women.

As a result, Dunst possessed a degree of professionalism uncommon for someone her age. Bradley Pierce even recalls how his co-star (who’s only six months older than him) mentored him on set! It wasn’t just Pierce who was impressed, either—veteran thespians like Bebe Neuwirth were likewise in awe of Dunst’s skills and on-set poise, as well.

2 The Final Scene Was Shot First

Big budget outings like Jumanji are rarely filmed in sequential order. Instead, scenes are shot in the order that makes the most sense from a logistical standpoint, based on factors such as actor availability, weather considerations and so on. As we’ve observed before, in the case of Jumanji, this translated to the film’s final scene being shot first.

This decision by director Joe Johnston and his team was motivated by purely practical considerations. Since the sets constructed to represent the Parrish mansion were going to be put through the wringer during the movie’s many chaotic set pieces—think rhinoceros stampedes and in-door flooding—all footage featuring the house looking its best needed to be captured early on.

1 Scarlett Johansson Auditioned To Play Judy

Already a rising star when she landed the role of Judy Shepherd in Jumanji, Kirsten Dunst’s career would nevertheless receive a welcome boost when the movie proved to be a box office hit. Interestingly, Jumanji could have helped to launch the career of another famous actress—Scarlett Johansson!

Then a relative unknown, Johansson auditioned to play Judy, but obviously failed to outshine Dunst. To be honest, upon viewing her audition tape, it’s kinda easy to see why – still just a kid, Johansson wasn’t the seasoned pro she is today.

NEXT: 10 Things We Learned From The Jumanji: The Next Level Trailer

source https://screenrant.com/jumanji-original-movie-behind-the-scenes-facts/

#screenrant

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mouiface · 7 years

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Japan Trip 2017 - Haru Comic City 22 & AnimeJapan 2017

Related Japan Trip Posts:

Akihabara

I got lucky that both events fell in the week I was there :D I attended Haru Comic City on Monday (Mar.20) and AnimeJapan on Saturday (Mar.25) Both conventions were held at Tokyo Big Sight in Odaiba.

Again, these are my personal thoughts and experiences, so take whatever information is useful to you. Image heavy under the cut~

I didn’t research Haru Comic City beforehand, so my observations are based on what I saw in person. I know about Comiket, but it seems that smaller doujin conventions are quite common (this one was still quite large imo!) There are tables everywhere advertising future doujin event dates. I think each event selects certain fandoms (YOI, Haikyuu, Otsumatsu, and some lesser known titles). You could grab free “save the date” minicards that advertise when a doujin event will host a series you like~

The event was one day only and lasted for 5 hours. According to my local friend, he says this is quite common for conventions to last such a short time, which is different from US conventions that continuously last over 3-4 days. Tbh, it looked like it was as important of a social event as it was an opportunity to promote/sell your latest doujin. The atmosphere was felt very friendly, welcoming, and refreshingly down to earth. Artists seemed genuinely enthusiastic to chat, to fangirl, and to get to know you. There was a strong sense of community that differs from the atmosphere of US Artist Alleys. To me, US AAs seem more competitive and more “to each their own”. I’m quite envious, haha.

It was interesting that everyone looked and acted very...ordinary and polite. I’m not quite sure how to word it, but there was definitely a demeanor where it’s “just another typical day” or something. I guess I’m trying to describe a contrast to US conventions where people see conventions as a super special event and get very hyped up about it. I believe part of it is Japan’s collective culture and part of it is that anime/manga is so thoroughly integrated into everyone’s daily lives (I’ll explain more of this phenomenon in another post~).. After all, it’s only a train ride’s away to Akihabara and Ikebukuro, and special events are constantly happening in Tokyo. It’s not unreasonable to perceive conventions here as a much more relaxed social gathering. I also found it interesting that the age of artists and attendees range from high school to much older women. I saw some middle schoolers wandering around, too... (elementary school kids were banned because of some of the many...suggestive posters HAH). Again, I’m used to the western mentality of associating anime/manga to teens and young adults. The language barrier and having the artists present with their works intimidated me, but I managed to work up the courage to buy this cute Kageyama keychain ovo;9

A friend recommended that AnimeJapan was worth going for one day. I arrived at 10AM, but it took about 2 hours to get to the front door..Because check out this line LOL:

I was concerned that the con would have closed by the time I got in. AnimeJapan spanned over 4 days, but it only lasts a few hours each day (10AM-3PM). It’s a convention for official companies and studios to show off their newest merch and/or advertise upcoming things. You can go watch VA/animator/producer interviews, line up to play game demos, stage concerts, etc. As a general attendee, I managed to explore the whole venue pretty quickly. My main goals were to grab a copy of the limited FMA leaflet, see the prototypes for FMA figures/nendos, and find Hinagarasu and Kagegarasu at Toho Animation’s booth~ Unless you are lining up for a certain show, to purchase a limited item, or if you simply just really enjoy being in queue lines, I think this event is worth going for one day.

I pretty much gave up going for the FMA leaflet when I saw how long it took to get into the venue. There was not a specific booth for the FMA live movie announcement, so it took some further wandering once I got in. But alas I found it, along with a display of Roy Mustang’s costume used in the movie!

And..miraculously, wedged between the leaflet stands was the last copy...//breathes

Hiromu Arakawa drew the artwork specifically for AnimeJapan to help advertise the FMA exhibition held later this year. Talk about lucky! \(*A*)/

Goodsmile Company did not display the FMA nendo prototypes, but I found prototypes of Roy Mustang and Edward Elric //breathes heavily against glass

I arrived at the Toho Animation booth just in time for Hinagarasu and Kagegarasu showed up *A* Again, I was super lucky after learning that they only came out for that 30 minute window on Saturday. The birbs were very cute and in character, I loved them <3

They also had the team flag pinned up and you can go and write on it! Karasuno fighting!

The cosplay area was...sad. It was off to the side of the venue, outside in a way too small fenced off area of parking. From mile long queue lines to get into the venue, having only a small window to change into costume, paying extra to cosplay, and being fenced off in a cramped area with an asphalt backdrop...I personally think it’s not worth cosplaying at this particular convention. There was so little room for cosplayers to pose, and you practically had to crowdsurf your way to see them. Granted, the cosplays were beautiful, but it was way too cramped for me to take a good photo of anybody BUT HERE’S ARMSTRONG.

And finally, these are more cool things I saw in no particular order. Thanks for reading \(*^*)/

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ask-de-writer · 5 years

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HICCUPS! : MLP Fan Fiction : A Work In Progress

As usual for works in progress, new parts and changes to older ones are done in Boldface type.

HICCUPS!

A Grumpy Goat <tail>

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

10601 words so far, this is a WORK IN PROGRESS