#it was the worst experience I've ever had in every departments

[jade-curtiss]

"Let me take nothing you care about seriously and make fun of your traumatism on top of creating new others, it'll be fun"

"how come you hate me? It wouldn't have happened if I would have listened you communicated more."

[lycheedr3ams]

I'm feeling so many feelings about butcher!Konig! I used to work at a gas station and had many crappy customers, sometimes to a point where I mentally shut myself down to survive a shift then cry afterwards.

Can you do one for after a difficult shift and you're crying in your car and a there's a gentle tap on the window? Thank you thank you! Love your smut but your sweet butcher!Konig huts different~

i'm so sorry to hear that was your experience at your job! when i worked at the deli at the grocery store (from which all these butcher!könig things are inspired by), i wanted to quit every fucking shift because customers would treat me so horribly. i got yelled at over fried chicken, so i get it.

answered below the cut! and yes i am living for sweet butcher!könig as well!

also random but if anyone is a minor, you should just block me atp. i'm going to be posting some absolute pure porn in the coming weeks. word porn i mean not actual porn lol

today was probably the worst shift you had ever had. it was around the 4th of july, so most customers were up in arms about their food being absolutely perfect. it didn't matter that most of them didn't read the regulations about the limit of food they were allowed to order, or the period of notice your store needed. all they saw was that you were at fault.

you could barely keep it together as you were yelled at by the 5th customer that day. the customers who didn't yell at you were condescending and rude. about halfway through your shift, you just couldn't take it anymore, and you abandoned your coworkers as you cried alone in your car in the corner of the parking lot.

butcher!könig hadn't had a chance to talk to you today, since he was also busy preparing orders for the upcoming holiday. and since his workstation was behind closed doors whereas yours was right where the customers are, he wasn't aware of everything that you had been going through. but he didn't miss the way you fled through the grocery store through the little window in the meat department's door. butcher!könig dropped everything he was doing and followed you out, not even bothering to take off his white work coat.

you were already deep into crying when you suddenly jumped when you heard a little tap on your window. you wiped your wet eyes and blushed when you saw butcher!könig standing outside your car, looking very worried. you winded the window down and put on a fake smile.

"what is wrong?" butcher!könig asked with furrowed eyebrows.

you sniffled. "the customers have just been so mean today... i've been yelled at all day, and they're just so rude." you wiped your hot tears as more fell, not wanting butcher!könig to see you like this.

"why didn't you tell me?" he asked sternly, but you knew he was just concerned for you.

"everyone's been beaten up by the customers today. you were busy too," you said quietly.

butcher!könig shook his head. "nein nein, you always tell me when a customer is being mean to you. do you understand?"

you looked into his eyes with your wet, red ones before finally nodding. "okay. i will from now on."

butcher!könig shuffled on his feet a little, since his back was hurting from hunching over to talk to you in your car. "oh, sorry, do you want to come in?" you offered as you unlocked the car door. he nodded and walked around the front of your car and sat down in your passenger seat. he was much too big for the seat, his knees hitting the dashboard, but he didn't seem to care as he looked over at you so caringly.

"may i comfort you?" butcher!könig asked softly. you nodded as you wiped your eyes again. he slowly placed his large hand on your arm and rubbed his thumb on your skin. you blushed and closed your eyes, not wanting to admit to him or you how much you enjoyed his touch. he looked at you so tenderly you thought you could cry.

"you are much too sweet for customers - or anyone - to be mean to you," butcher!könig said quietly as he looked down at his hand on your arm. you just listened quietly and tried to steady your breathing.

you and him stayed like that for a little while before accepting the reality that you had to go back to work. you sheepishly got out of your car and followed butcher!könig behind him like he was your bodyguard. needless to say, no customers dared to approach you as you followed behind the titan of a leather-masked butcher with a slightly crazed look in his eye that he always hid from you.

[someone-ds]

I feel so stupid. And I also feel so young.

I've always been very mature and behaved a lot older than I actually am but these past three weeks have shown me how much of a child I actually am.

I am an adult now. Technically.

But I have never felt this young and stupid.

I have also never felt this unwanted in an environment like I have today.

I feel like a burden. Like a charity case.

I am aware that it's not my fault. I am literally in my fourth week at this job, let alone industry. That's why I am here. To learn. So I shouldn't be made to feel like I do not belong and that I am nothing but a burden.

Someone to babysit.

There is one woman here who is making it especially hard for me. Being very passive aggressive and just straight up mean.

I know that the other departments are way worse and I am aware that others have had it worse but still that doesn't have to invalidate my experience and pain.

I feel like an outcast. It's horrible. Makes me think of school all over again. But in school all of us were on a same level. Same age.

This is a completely different fucking playground.

I haven't felt this lonely in a room full of people since krems. And THAT is saying something.

Maybe I am just too sensitive. And all of this is only half as bad as I am making it out to be. Maybe I'm not cut out for this job. Maybe.

But then again who do these people think they are to make me feel like this? What right do they have to make me feel like an alien when all I want to be is one of them?

This is sounding like school again. I mean that's the only social setting with a lot of people I've ever had in my life so obviously it's going to sound like school.

Well...

The minutes do not go by. The clock is standing still and with every second that passes my throat closes more and my eyes turn more sad.

I probably look like a kicked puppy. which goes to show how much of a wimp I am. Hard to believe that I used to take shit way worse than this like it was nothing. I'd just keep on walking.

How did I do that? How can one person take so much and then nothing?

I've never felt this raw and emotional in my life. I feel like I am naked, all of my emotion painted across my face. All of the little things I'm am worried about written on my forehead for people to laugh and poke fun at.

I feel like I have been striped of my pride.

worst of all.

I did that to myself.

How can a person know everything at 14 and nothing at 18?

What happened? And how do I fix this?

How can I make this feel right again?

Because I cannot stay like this for long. I'll kill myself before the first summer rain comes, I swear it.

I am not sure where to even begin fixing THIS.

What do I even have to fix? What is broken? What needs to be looked at?

I have no idea what is making me feel so childlike. So foolish. So emotional.

Do you think that there is something to fix? Or is this the new normal? Is this who I am now?

A grown ass adult suddenly realising that all they ever did was wait for 18 and never thought passed that stupid date.

Because I did it. I made it. I am an adult. At least by definition.

Nothing has changed. Expect that now if my parents ever decide that I am too much to bare they can just stop taking care of me. Now, I don't think they'd ever do that but I don't want to get anywhere near a point where my mother thinks I'm a burden to the family.

Or even worse- what she did wrong for me to turn out like this.

I know that I am very far away from this happening, that I've only been 18 for 23 days and I know that even if I'm 28 and living with my parents they'd be fine as long as I contributed with the money.

So we're fine on that front.

It's just I cannot shake this feeling of being a burden. A dead weight. A haunted memory you can't get rid of.

I feel like the plague.

[cariboll]

Dream job

As a perpetually unemployed person (I have more years of unemployment under my belt than I do of years working actual jobs), I am constantly asked what my dream job is.

What do job I want to do? I usually go with the "work support staff on a film/tv show" or something similar. I have a bachelor's degree in history and a master's degree in film. And so far I have not worked a day since I got the two degrees in 2021 and 2022. I am one of those people who finishes a degree or training only for the economy or unions of a pandemic to promptly decide that I will not work. Seriously. I dropped out of college in ~2009, had a nervous breakdown, and then went and trained as a phlebotomist (person who takes your blood for testing). Then I trained as a medical assistant. Both times all I heard (if anyone actually deigned to contact me) was that I either had too much training (just from doing intern/externships) or not enough experience. I worked as a temp (some of the worst jobs I've ever worked and the worst people I have ever met in those jobs), worked at my local county fair in one of the departments fro a few weeks every summer for several years, and I've worked in retail (cue nervous breakdown #3. Yes, I said #3). All of this is to say that nothing I've ever done has been remotely dream-like (though I've definitely had more than a few stress dreams about my jobs).

So. What would my dream job be? Well, first off, it doesn't exist in the real world, only on tv. Unless of course someone has actually accomplished it and Leverage exists in real life and not just as 7 seasons of two incredible shows.

Why do I want to work for Leverage? Because they help people and have adventures. And sometimes they have to be creative about it. I WANT to be creative in my job. But creativity doesn't pay the bills.

So I'll just go back to waiting to hear from the jobs I've already applied to. They're not dream jobs, but maybe they won't crush me down until I have a fourth breakdown.

Maybe.

[l3monsoda]

So I work a job that usually mostly fine but I have to log in for so many hours a day and work what's basically a call center shift for the company. Most days it's.... mostly fine one or two kind of shitty people and then myriad of particularly ordinary boring every day phone calls about changing address information or adjusting schedule times or just answering basic information about the business.

But when it's short staffed it's hectic, no sooner hang up than the phone is ringing again. Today was short staffed and from absolute hell. It had to be bad luck because literally every one I talked to was angry and or upset. I'd go out of my way to solve an issue and make special exceptions to provide a customer better help and service only to get yelled at and called a liar. It was just hell endless call after call of angry people who I either couldn't help or wouldn't stop yelling at me long enough to let me help them.

I'm stressed and annoyed and had to take more than a few breaks to deep breathe and shake it off. I'm miserable but I'm managing I'm a big girl and unfortunately customer service is my expertise. That's until I get a call from yet another very angry old lady. She wants to talk to a specific department. Now I'm not supposed to transfer customers if I can help it. I'm supposed to solve the issues I can and take messages for issues I can't. But this lady already left several messages and she's angry and I just want all the tension to stop so I caved, and told her I would try to get them on the phone but I couldn't promise they'd pick up. I try, no one answered. So I offered to get department management involved, she goes off again about how the manager lied to her and she on a tirade angry is the day is long about all of the things that this department has put her through and all the lies and how upset she is. So I do what I'm supposed to do when a customer has had a bad experience, I tell her how sorry I am.

Because this is my job, apologize for things that I had nothing to do with.

She stopped mid tirade, her tone changes and she says in the gentle way the momas back in the neighborhood used to talk to me when they were laying wisdom down on me.

"Listen I'm going to tell you something baby; because you're probably young and I've been around awhile, I'm 70 so I know! Never apologize for something that isn't your fault, not even at work. My mother told me that when I was a young woman and now I am telling you! Never take that on, none of this is your fault so don't apologize for it."

I have never cried in front of a customer before, not once in all the years of really shitty, terrible, high stress, angry shouting, unreasonable, awful positions and situations I've been through. Not on the phone or in person, ever. I don't break at work, I get the job done and I get through. I can cry at home later. But something about this woman stopping in all her anger and frustration and seeing me as a person, talking to me with such kindness on what was among one of the worst days in my ten years of customer service just absolutely broke me.

I sobbed. Of course I couldn't really take her advice, my job doesn't give me that luxury and even as she said it I was thinking so, but that didn't matter. It was the fact that for a moment I was a person again and that she wanted me to live in a world where I could live a life without apologizing for things that weren't my fault.

Today was a bad day, and I finally learned what can break me, kindness.

[ukittyu]

Jack In The Box!

Summary: You never seen it's face but you've seen it's silhouette. You've heard it's laugh and sometimes it calls your name. It's always been this way but it was always at the back of your mind, until, due to a series of unfortunate events that led you to a mental hospital for a couple weeks, things started to get trippy.

Part 1

TW: Yandere themes, traumatic childhood, substance ingest, Imaginary friend turned sleep paralysis demon!Hoseok AU! Slow-burn. TW will be updated if needed.

A/N: So this is going to be a series, I've been really inspired by Hobi's new concept, remember to stream 'MORE'. Hope you like it and it'll mean a lot to me if you shared your thoughts to motivate or help me in my writing. English it's not my native language.

You had a tough childhood to say the least, you've experimented things, seen things that no one is ready for but still you've always make it through with a smile. You weren't difficult, nor a burden to anybody to be honest; but some people just couldn't bear to left you in peace. Your parents as the biggest example.

Distant, strict, violent, straight up as if you weren't a human being with feelings and emotional needs to grow up as a normal person. You'll see the relationships your classmates had with their parents and envy them, envy anyone who hasn't been neglected. It seemed as if, no matter how hard you tried to be perfect, it was never enough. So to safe yourself from your cruel reality you always imagined.

Imagined a better life, better parents, better plans or maybe just someone to actually listen to you and ask you how you feel. So when you were 5 years old, you'll lock yourself in your room or maybe go to your garden to see your little friend and talk with him about everything and anything.

His name was Hobi, it was fun to say, he'll always come to your backyard, or sneak into your room at night. You were so innocent back then, you weren't counsicuos of the world and it's rules, so you'll laugh out loud when Hobi said something funny or did a funny dance and that's how you've gained a tedious reputation. The kids from the block, your parents, everyone watched you talk alone and laugh and dance and...exactly. Thought you were crazy, frequently you'll be sent to the school's psychologist because you wouldn't stop whispering "Hobi, go away. It's not funny anymore" or "go home." Until you cried eventually.

That's when you started to be seen as a weirdo at school and started to isolate yourself, either way, Hobi didn't like it when you'll play with other kids, he'll get grumpy at home and won't talk to you. You'll have nightmares everytime he got mad.

He was really scary sometimes. As things became gradually worst, his appearances stressed you out because he wasn't funny, he wasn't nice to you anymore. He appeared in the worst moments ever and you just couldn't ignore him. He'll jump on every corner of the room while you studied or when your parents talked to you, he'll sang songs out loud so you couldn't hear them. In school, he'll make faces behind your teacher or scare you out of nowhere. Your parents searched professional help due to your school's exigencies. Your psychologist told you that he was a way to cope with your loneliness, the pressure but that he was never part of your reality, he was a product of your mind. Slowly you started to forget everything about him and you became a new person. Antidepressants worked miracles but awakened other needs in your life.

Now that your of-age it sounds like a funny memory. You got to live alone in your own department, have a decent job, right amount of friends and social life, life seemed pretty gloomy at first but as you gained your independence you turned everything upside down. Your teenage years were kinda crazy too, not gonna lie.

Partying till the morning, substances and alcohol. Your parents taught you what you needed to know about it and there was nothing the could say to you after all. Now unpacking your last boxes, you just found old pictures of you and started to reminisce all of this, you sigh in content. Glad it's over and you're becoming what you were always supposed to be, just like everyone else.

Thinking about partying didn't sound so fun anymore but today is friday, and your friends already invited you to some places. You don't remember the last time you felt this way, light as a feather, laughing and dancing in the center of the floor. You got good dancing skills, they'll say. That was when you saw him from afar, everything was moving in slow motion and the color lights flashing everywhere but they didn't reflect on him, as if he was just a shadow, standing in the middle of the room.

You thought it was a bad trip, you were just being paranoid but suddenly your senses intensified as if you were sleepwalking and suddenly woke up. Your sweat felt cold you started to look around, when you found yourself stuck between like a hundred bodies you got back to the table your friends were at, you told them you'll go home and meanwhile some complained about you leaving too early, the rest discussed who'll get you home. You laughed it off and told them it wasn't necessary. You promised to take care, it made you feel warm inside, to feel cared for someone, you left the club with a smile.

Thankfully the club was a couple blocks from your new home so you decided to go walking. The temperature descended a lot, and compared to the club and all the hot bodies surrounding you a couple minutes ago, you were freezing. You'll pass by an alley and heard someone calling your name. You stoped on your tracks to take a look but it seemed empty. Just a light street illuminating the very back of it.

You hear a giggle this time and gasped. That's when you saw the shadow again, against the alley's wall, it was the particular form of it's head, as if it had a clown hat, you felt goosebumps as it disappeared as soon as you saw it. You started to speed up the pace and got to your apartment. You attempted to put the keys in the lock but tou couldn't stop shivering. You didn't know if it was the cold, what you consumed or maybe fear. It couldn't be.

You got to open the door and closed full forse. You put all the locks, the only light that let you see was the moonlight picking though your green courtains. You sighed on relief now that you were there, you were actually excited to get some sleep in your cozy bed and hold your plushie tight. You loved the doll you once found on your backyard and kept it with you everynight.

It appeared when you were like 11 and Hobi started to visit you less and less until he never appeared anymore. He was a distant memory in your head until last night when you were watching your pictures. Remembering your chilhood do you no good.

Once cleaned up and fresh you got into your bed, hugged your little doll as always and you were so tired that you fell asleep instantly forgetting about the shadow following you. You are a heavy sleeper and tend to have lucid dreams from time to time, when you were little you experimented sleep paralysis as well do to the anxiety your therapist said. As you slept your eyes kept moving despite being closed, a dream was coming to view. It was your apartment but it looked old and full of dust.

You walked down the now grey hallway and suddenly it seemed longer than it used to be, you walked and walked and the place started to morphe into another place, full of doors, one by one, they had numbers on it. You looked forward to see a wall, then you looked back to the last door. The number was '010722' something inside you started to build up, your breathing got heavier and heavier. Your guts were screaming; 'do not knock', 'do not grab the handle' but your body felt an electricity, adrenaline, it made you feel as if you didn't open the door you were going to collapse.

Your shaking hand aproched the door and the only thing you could think about now was to knock on it. You did and something was off, there was sound but it didn't come off the door in front of you it seemed to come from above your head. Slowly, your eyes looked up and found a little door on the ceiling with a string hanging from it. Once again your breathing erratic, your heartbeat on your eardrums.

You pulled on the string to find pure darkness, until you saw two tiny lights, like the eyes of a cat caught in the light. You felt your chest heavy, tears peaked at the corner of your eyes. A face came into view, that face, you reconigze it somewhere. His smile is twisted, his eyes dark as if he never slept, the hat, that made you reconize him. You wanted to scream, to run but you froze in shock. His hand got out the darkness to caress your cheek, then covered your eyes. A whisper in your ear, "Wake up" and your alarm went off.

A/N: So this is the introduction to this story, I don't know how long it'll be and as I said it's been a couple years since I wrote something, so your feed back will be really appreciated, negative or positive. Thanks for reading!

[ssadumba55]

Love Finds A Way (Ian Malcolm X Reader)

Request: Hello!! I love your Ian malcolm x reader so far and I was just wondering if you could do another one (either set in the first or second movie) where ian and the reader get separated and it freaks Ian out until they find each other again and ian decides to confess his feelings maybe? Thanks!

A/N: Let's go! I've never written anything set in the first movie but that movie moves a lot faster so forgive me cutting through to get to the good bits. I spared you every dinosaur chase scene, you're welcome. Enjoy!

This trip was a mistake, you realized that now covered in mud and sitting in a tree.

Come along, Ian had suggested, it’ll be fun. It wasn’t fun now, you’d be sure to remind him of that… if you ever saw him again. Even though you had wanted to stay behind with Ian, Alan had convinced you to join him and the kids.

Now, the other three were getting some shuteye. How they could sleep with all of this around them, you would never know. You watched the Brachiosaurs eat from the safety of your vantage point. All the joy and wonder you had felt earlier on the tour was now gone, replaced with a feeling of dread deep in the pit of your stomach.

There was no way you were getting out of this alive, even with the help of the amazing Dr. Alan Grant. You had never been a fearless fighter or particularly intelligent.

“You’re still awake?” Dr. Grant asked softly. You had thought he was asleep but it appeared he’d just been resting eyes. He didn’t even look like the man you’d met earlier that day, each of his arms wrapped around one of the children he had despised.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I’m worried about Dr. Malcolm, that’s all.”

It was a fair worry, he was your friend and mentor. The two of you had spent a lot of time together both in the workplace and out. You liked to think there was an inseparable bond between the two of you, something that rarely anyone else had. No matter how many wives or girlfriends he went through, what was between you both would never change.

“He’s fine. As long as he stays still, even if the T. Rex circles back, he’ll live.”

Realistically, you knew he was right but still. Nobody but the four of you knew where he was and you had no idea how to get to the others. Worst vacation ever, Ian owed you one if the two of you got off this stinking island alive.

Meanwhile, Dr. Ian Malcolm was in a panic himself. His leg was in pain, but it was dull compared to his worry for you. Now that he wasn’t being chased by a giant meat eating dinosaur, he could think properly and he had noticed your absence.

There were two options; you were laying out there dead somewhere (which he hated to think about, that couldn’t be the one) or you were wherever Dr. Grant and Hammond’s grandchildren were.

“We should be out there looking for them,” he tried to shift but his leg was in worse shape than he thought. Ellie hurried forward, scolding him for moving and putting himself in pain. She was obviously worried for Alan as well, they had issues, the two of them.

Was being in love with a workplace friend a common occurrence because it seemed like they were in the exact same department and- Oh god, if you and Alan died they would never get to tell them. More importantly he would never get to tell you.

At some point, Gennaro and Ellie leave to go look for Arnold, leaving him and Hammond to guide them to where they needed to go. He tried to keep his head in the game as much as possible, his survival and the others depended on it but he was too worried about you.

This had to be some sick twisted joke the universe had decided to play on him, he didn’t tell the one he loved he loved them when he had the chance, he fooled around with so many people... and this was his sick and twisted comeuppance.

He supposed if that was what was going on he deserved it, but damn it if he didn’t wish his leg was better so he could be out there looking for you.

How many adults did it take to hold a door shut against one Velociraptor? Apparently, three. You, Alan and Ellie leaned against the door, trying your best to keep it shut while Lex and Tim figured out the computer system.

“This is where we die,” you muttered under your breath as Ellie tried desperately to reach for the shotgun that was just out of her grasp.

“You did it!” Tim shouted and just like that the locks were on the doors.

The relief was short lived, but such is life when you’re on a dinosaur infested island. The five of you escaped through the vents, making your way back to the main entrance of the visitors building. It was a race against time (and Velociraptors), but in the end, you all made it safely back to the ground and the T. Rex took care of the raptors.

“Come on,” Alan ushered the kids, you and Ellie out the front door. You felt like you were going to pass out just from the adrenaline. Hammond and Ian were waiting outside in the jeep but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything to either of them as you climbed in. Alan said something but you leaned back in the jeep seat, releasing a breath you didn’t even know you’d been holding.

You weren’t home safe yet but it sure felt like it.

After that, everything was a blur. The helicopter ride home was silent, everyone contemplating everything they had just witnessed on the island. For once, even the great Ian Malcolm had nothing to say.

You leaned against him and he let you, clearly just as happy as you were to be in the same vicinity once again.

Upon landing in Costa Rica, the group went their separate ways. Hammond went off with his grandchildren, Ellie needed medical care and Alan went with her, Ian needed his own care so you went with him. You wondered if you’d ever get to see those people again. It was a strange thing to bond over, but you felt like you were all that much closer now that you’d been through this together.

Ian was out for a while so you pulled up a chair and slept beside the hospital bed.

“(Y/n)?” You awoke to someone saying your name, visions of giant lizard monsters danced in your vision for a few moments longer as you blinked awake.

You would surely be having nightmares of that for a long time.

Ian was awake, he had shifted himself into a sitting position, his hand on yours. You met his eyes, there was a lot that needed to be said. You wanted to tell him everything that had happened, with Alan and the kids and the raptors and-

You hugged him instead, it was strange, even though the two of you were fairly close, neither of you had ever been huge fans of physical contact.

He hugged you back though.

“That was the worst vacation ever…” You whispered, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes.

He chuckled. “Next time you can pick, no more dinosaur islands. I promise.”

You suddenly became aware of the very little space between the two of you. This was the closest the two of you had ever been in a non joking manner. It felt like being separated from each other on a dinosaur infested island had changed something in your dynamic, though you weren’t sure what it was. The smile on his face faded slightly and he reached up, closing the distance between the two of you, hand gently pressed to your cheek.

That’s what it was. The dynamic between you two had DEFINITELY changed.

“I’ve, uh, always wanted to do that.” He sounded slightly guilty, pulling away.

There were butterflies in your stomach and somehow the world seemed to be spinning. You laughed nervously, something about experiencing this so soon after a near death experience was hilarious to you.

"Funnily enough, me too," you admit, pressing your forehead to his. It's really too soon to know what this really means or if this is all just a crazy reaction to being separated and not able to see each other but you don't even care.

You could put a label on it later, he would agree. For now the two of you had each other and you were never letting go. And if Ian asked you to sleep with him later that night and if the two of you awoke each other from nightmares screaming only to comfort each other, nobody else needed to know.

You'd always had a special bond. This just made it stronger.

[butyouvealwaysbeenthecaretaker]

@willie-o-winsbury "I feel like experiencing the trans ''community'' is perhaps the worst background for hearing these arguments, because it's the most dysfunctional and laterally abusive of any identity-group community I've known of" Absolutely, & I think this is why police/prison abolition is coming out of American communities of colour specifically because  - this is based entirely on like Louis Theroux documentaries and hood movies I studied at university and Nick Broomfield documentaries - I actually really get why black and brown Americans would be at a point politically where, having no law enforcement at all would *genuinely* reduce overall harm done; if you measure the balance of "crimes solved by police and justice restored" vs "harm caused by police inaction, bad/malevolent policing, prisons and the way they impact whole families,  inadequate services and systems" I get 100% why just not having no police at all is a better outcome than now. & these communities are already doing a lot of their own support and policing and like, in the Grim Sleeper documentary you've got black mothers doing the work of campaigning for justice in the face of a police department that don't give a crap, maybe those women should have been given a budget to actually fight some crime. So, it's still something i support because - like, god, you know? The level of harm is unambiguous. And it's genuinely not ok for the level of percieved security people who like the police have to outweigh the damage done by the current system, not at all. But like, I do also know queer people who are very deeply into this kind of activism due to the history of policing of lgbt people, although it's nowhere near as...lgbt people come out of other people's communities, so it's not like you've got these multi-generational/targeted at a physical community or area in quite the same way. But I do get it. But yeah, I do wonder a lot about the experiences these people who do stay committed to the concept of chosen family and building where communities, what experiences they're having & whether it's just...that they are the abusers and that's why they survive there...to me it tracks really closely onto, why would you ever want a faith leader to be making decisions about their flock. You know at once why that's a dangerous mistake, and so does anyone who's ever been part of like the Women's Committee for judging the annual flower display or any kind of small community dynamic. Police alternative arguments are built by those who have had empowering and nourishing experiences of mutual aid and alternative community support. Rather than those who have seen it successfully co-opted. It's a vision built on the best of us, and I love that but I'm also afraid. Maybe communities of colour are genuinely far less dysfunctional, and so these organisers haven't had these experiences? Idk, it seems more likely that anyone who survives long enough in activism to make a quasi career of it must be kinda immune to these dynamics, or be the ones with power within them. I don't trust that I'd be given a fair shake within a trans community, and I certainly don't trust that I'd get justice and compassion from one dominated by cis people, and I don't trust the current systems of prison or policing would treat me justly either so...maybe that just comes back around to police abolition, and the idea that if injustice is inevitable, then it should at least have minimal power to harm. (But maybe I'm ultimately more comfortable with an armed carceral state with a monopoly on violence that's like, an external enemy I can project my fear onto....than the intimacy of it happening within my home, from my brothers. But perhaps that's the privilege of someone who's not had good reason to fear the police. Or the disprivilege of someone with every reason to fear the ordinary people around him)

[tiredspacedragon]

🔥🚫

It took me a second to remember the Pokemon ask game, and in that moment, this ask was one of the most ominous and threatening things I had ever seen. Honestly made me think I'd just been cancelled under threat of immolation :P

Favourite Type: Predictably, Fire. This is an obvious one for pretty much anyone who knows me even slightly, but it's not just because of my pre-established affinity for anything red and heat-powered. I mean sure, that's what started it, but since then I've come to appreciate the type for its own qualities. The firepower (ha) most Fire-types offer is always appreciated, but I also love that Fire is, rather unexpectedly, one of the best defensive types in the game. It has the second-most resistances of any type, after only Steel, with 6. I'm not really a defensive player by any means, but I love that I have the option to be.

But mostly I love Fire-types for their designs. Early on, there was this thing where Fire-types were almost universally designed to be beautiful or otherwise striking. Arcanine, Rapidash, and Ninetales all embodied grace and majesty, Moltres too, to some degree, though I think its rubber chicken-ness holds it back slightly. Charizard too, while not necessarily "beautiful," per se, at least not in the same way as the others, is still a striking and majestic design. Only Magmar was the odd one out of the first batch. Gotta have a goofball, I guess. And while the designs have diversified since those early days, and we have a lot more Fire-types nowadays that I would not call pretty under any circumstances, the majority still manage to be truly top-tier designs. It is the type that, in my opinion, is the most consistently excellent in the design department.

Least Favourite Type: In terms of which type has the fewest Pokemon that really leap out to me, I guess that would be Normal? Normal-types, are, well, normal. Most of them are very bland and don't stick in my mind much. However, I don't have anything against the Normal-type. I actually like the concept a fair amount, and it's definitely put out a fair number of bangers over the years. So instead, I would have to say my actual least favourite type, the one I actually dislike the most, is Rock.

I don't hate the Rock-type, it's not like I'd see a Pokemon I think is well-designed and go "Ahh, I'd love to use that one, but it's a Rock-type, so I must shun it." That's not right. It's more that Rock, when compared to every other type, has the worst ratio between Pokemon I do like, and ones I distinctly do not. Lycanroc? Very cool. Rhyperior? Don't give a care. Gigalith? Very nice. Carbink? Disgusting. Most fossil Pokemon? Love 'em. Animated boulder #5? Kinda losing interest. Rock is split pretty much right down the middle for me. Half of them are pretty nice, or at least inoffensive. And half of them just do not appeal to me. A 50% failure to capture my interest rate just really isn't good. Plus, in my experience, Rock is the bane of team-making. More than any other type, Rock is the one that rears its craggy head and tells me "You can't use that Pokemon, or else half your team will be weak to me." You know how it was calculated that if one Pokemon had every type at once, it would only be weak to Rock? Well I believe it after the number of teams I've built whose #1 problem was Rock. It gets the bottom spot for consistently being a pain in my ass.

Also, fuck Stealth Rock.

[franeridart]

hi. hello. this is a bit embarrassing but i'm trying to buy my bf a tablet sort of thing so he can draw his arts. he's been wanting one forever but hasn't rly shown me which one he wants. i want to surprise him n buy a good one worth the money n was just curious if you had any suggestions. i've looked into wacom products, but i'm just such a noob to these things n was hoping you can help... i understand if this is silly, you don't have to reply! ur just so amazing, ur opinion is trustworthy 😅☺️

Okay, so, this is just my opinion and since it’s based completely on personal experiences it’s gonna possibly be incredibly different from other people’s opinions, so I just wanna make clear from the start that this is a personal preference and isn’t in any way meant as an absolute truth

Anyway, as far as I’m concerned when you’re just starting out you don’t need anything fancy at all. As an aspiring digital artist your bf might have looked up tablets and cried tears of blood over how much he’d like a cintiq or anything similar, but my very personal opinion is that fancy stuff is gonna be pretty much useless to you and be generally a waste of money? You’re just learning, you don’t need anything more than the basics. My suggestion is that you pick something simple and easy to use - I own this wacom intuos, had it for a long while and I like it a lot, but there’s also less expensive options you can go for too that people seem to like just as much! I’ve lately read on my dash about the Huion H610, they say it doesn’t cost much at all but it’s just as good as the Intuos, that could be a good option for you~

Anon said:  Hey!!! I was wondering if its ok to rb your oc art? I realized a lot less people rb those and i get anxious easily so... also i really don't want to disrespect either! But i always thought of rebloging as a way of saying "i appreciate your art" and i really really (really ) like yours (both the style and itself in general). (I hope you dont mind my bad english ha ha) i hope you don't mind this stupid ask! Im still kind of new to tumblr

It’s 100% okay!!!! *O* Thank you for liking them enough to want to reblog them ;A; !!!!

Anon said:i miss ur bokuroteru so much 😭💕 i love ur art but whenever i see ur header, i just remember ur bokuroteru comic and my heart cries storms for them to be seen again.

Aw anon I’m super happy you like my stuff for those three but as of now inspiration in that department is... super low... and tbh the haikyuu fandom is being incredibly unresponsive and non-vocal about their appreciation of fanworks in this period so even when I do have ideas for that fandom I sort of. Let them go. Or just sketch them out and never finish them.

Like, you know the whole deal about having to draw for yourself and not for others? That’s what I do 100% of the times when I’m starting a drawing, but to draw for myself I don’t exactly need to finish a drawing, you know? Sometimes there’s a scene I wanna see and I sketch it out in a super rough way and as far as my personal desire to see it goes I’m satisfied with that, and everything after that - the cleaning and lining and maybe even coloring - I put the effort in it because I want to share it with people. And the deal with the Hq!! fandom lately is that they don’t share my excitement for it. They either only like it, or don’t comment on it, or comment only to complain about this or that thing. In the worst case posting hq!! only ends up with people asking me to draw something else (ie I feel like drawing Karasuno so I draw it and post it and no one comments/rb/says anything about it but there’s 20 asks in my inbox asking me why I haven’t drawn any bok*ro lately)

When I think about posting stuff for hq lately I automatically compare it to posting stuff for bnha where I could draw a background character that appeared once 120 chapters ago and there’s still gonna be people that go “yes! that character!! I love that character!!! can’t believe there’s actual art for it oh my god!!!!” - that’s... that’s the sort of reaction that makes you wanna share stuff

I dunno, maybe I’m just expecting too much out of the hq fandom. But anyway, sharing for bnha makes me way happier and glad I decided to finish a drawing lately, so I guess that’s what’s happening there.

Anon said:Every time your soft doods art shows up on my dash I have to pause and take a deep breath and just thank god for all the good in the world because I'm blown away every single time

This is s o s w e e t oh my god ;A; thank you so much!!!!

Anon said:Johnny is a fucking angel dammit. Have you read the new DGM already?? I'm in tears. I love this manga so much. The frequency of the releases are killing me... it has such a great story and great characters. It needs more love

I did read it!!!! And yeah the fandom used to be way bigger, but honestly I’m glad it’s just the couple dozens people it is. Like a small town where everyone knows everyone else. No drama, no discourse. Everyone ships what they want and we all pass each other tissues to dry the tears. The only argument that happens regularly is people complaining about the relase schedule and the old fans telling them to let Hoshino live. A good place, this fandom’s a good place.

DGM was my playground for most of my experimenting as far as creating art goes, I really did reach in all directions with it through the years and it helped me shape myself a lot, so I really want it to stay quiet and nice and peaceful, that’s my dream for it haha smaller fandoms have a better chance to keep that freedom

Anon said: Oh man, I live for that Togata x Amajiki interaction

You talking about the color spread cause yes that was adorable!!! ;A;

Anon said:I look a little, and do you still draw Bakugo x Kirishima x Kaminari?

Sure, it’s still my main ship for Kaminari and my main ot3! Just wait for Denki to start being relevant in the manga again, I’ll probably fall headfirst into it all over again haha

Anon said:Your art is so wonderful you're wonderful everything's so wonderful i'm crying omg

SOB no anon you’re wonderful!!!!

Anon said:Due to my brain not wanting to cooperate with me (ever), Bakugou Katsuki is now Batsuki Katsuki in my head.

This is the funniest thing I’ve read today and I’m in t e a r s hahaha

Anon said:Artistic!Mina making pop art and colorful paintings :o what are ur thoughts

HELL YES that’s my main headcanon for Mina, she’s definitely an artsy girl!!! I like the idea of her sharing it with Bakugou t b h

Anon said:I'm still just repeatedly looking at your newest KiriBaku because hot damn.

I’m super glad you liked it!!!!!!! oh my gOD!!!!!!!

Anon said:Heyy please rec Kami comics please! I'm in a Kami art shortage and I currently can't find art as awesome as yours...

I’m so sorry I wish I could help you with this but I don’t know anyone who draws lotsa Kaminari either ;---;

[niktizzy]

I miss Myspace, so here

1. First thing you wash in the shower?

My hair

2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?

Oh, well I would have to say coffee but I do drink a lot of beer and tequila. Both?

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Nope

4. Do you plan outfits?

If I have to, if it's for a special occasion then yes. If it's for work or just around town, hard no. Whatever I pick up first

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?

E X A U S T E D

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?

My blanket or my couch

7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body?

Look at it for a second, turn around and yell, "alright, which one of you didn't clean up your mess?" to my roommates

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?

I can't remember my dreams

9. Three of your current feelings?

Tired, depressed, excited

10. What are you craving right now?

For someone to tell me I'm doing great. That I'm on the right path and everything will work out. Honestly, that's all I want

11. Turn ons?

Physical: Fade, muscles, tattoos, & scruff

Sexual: lip biting, ass grabbing, biting, choked, slapped, teased & being rough.

12. Turn offs?

Bad smile, terrible sense of humor, garbage taste of music, fuck boy life style, awfull kisser

13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?

Trash

14. When was the last time you cried? Why?

Well as of late, it was from me over thinking and going into a depressed state

15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be?

Honestly, a girl version of deadpool even though he's not a super hero. I know but I guess I would say I guess black widow or storm

16. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?

Lolzzz no mate

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

Lick it you fucking animal

18. Favorite movie ever?

Fight Club or SLC Punk

19. Do you like yourself?

Some days

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?

Yeah, I've met a few

21. Could you handle being in the military?

No

22. What are you listening to right now?

My spotify playlist that is mostly made of pop punk

23. How many countries have you visited?

Just the United States

24. Are your parents strict?

When I was younger, yes 100%. I use to get so frustrated too, but now, I understand. I love them and appreciate them

25. Would you go sky diving?

Why not?

26. Would you go out to eat with a stranger?

I have before so what's one more person

27. Whats on your mind right now?

A lot, but it's not worth bringing up

28. Is there anything you want to say to someone?

I hope you like watching me succeed and make you wish you never played with my emotions, shit head

29. Have you ever been in a castle?

White Castle

30. Do you rent movies often?

I use to, RIP Block Buster

31. Whats your zodiac sign?

Libra

32. When was the last time you had sex?

Last month

33. Name five facts about yourself.

I enjoy watching people getting tattos

I'm a ginger (I've always bleached my hair)

I use to train for MMA

I can't eat bread anymore without feeling like shit

Vodka makes me angry

34. Ever had a near death experience? If so, what happened?

I mean I work in a city so, I almost get killed every time I walk across the street

35. Do you believe in karma or predestiny?

Yeah, karma, she may not show herself right away but she'll catch up to you

36. Brown or white eggs?

Neither

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic?

Old band shirts

38. Ever been on a train?

Honestly no

39. Ever been in love?

Love is for posers

40. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it?

Hell yes

41. If you could trade places with any person living or dead, who would you trade places with?

I'm good lol

42. If you could shorten your life expectancy by 10 years to becopme more attractive, would you do it?

Nah I'm good with being a potato

43. Whom do you admire and why?

My parents, they have to deal with me

44. What was your favorite bedtime story as a child?

I do not remember

45. You’re walking down the street, you come across a burning building. A woman says her baby is trapped inside, what would you do?

Nothing heroic, I would call the fire department

46. If you could choose the future profession of your son or daughter, would you?

I can't choose that, they have to find their own path. I just hope they don't have to go through all the rough times like I did to get there

47. What was your best experience on drugs or alcohol?

Honestly, I use to love smoking but it just fucked with my training and fitness so I stopped. I just never found a reason to go back. I would be so relaxed, less stress, love the world a little more. I don't have a novel of my drug usage because I honestly don't, but if I had to choose without any consequences, it would be smoking

48. What was your worst experience on drugs or alcohol?

I love drinking, but every time, especially as I get older, it just sucks waking up. But when I drink vodka in particular, I can be very sweet and flirty and if I see something I don't like or someone is pissing me off, it's like a switch, a bad switch and I plot your murder lol

50. As your walking down the street you find a suitcase full of money sitting next to a parked car, would you take it?

No man, issa trap

51. If you found that a close friend has AIDS, would you still hang out with them?

Yeah, they would more than likely need me more than ever. Why leave them?

52. In front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded.

If you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. Would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger?

Half of me says yes and the other half says, "bitch are you crazy" so I kind of have to go with her lol

53. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

17 I think

54. Do you believe in ghosts, werewolves or vampires?

I believe there are things that roam this earth that are not human

55. If you could live forever, would you want to?

I would want to travel, watch the sunset everyday on a beach somewhere, and be less stressed

56. Which fictional movie character most resembles who you are?

Fuckkk, I would have to say Stevo from SLC Punk

57. If you could go back in time, which time period would you visit?

Maybe the 70's but more than likely the future

58. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it?

I mean, they kind of show that on CNN and such already sooo

59. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it?

Hell no

60. If you could choose the sex of your unborn child, would you want to?

I'm honestly terrified to have a kid but if I had to choose, a girl

61. Would you rather live longer or be wealthy?

It's a toss up mate, you either struggle and live forever or live about the amount of time you thought you would be alive and be wealthy.

[riderofthemaelstrom]

So, I've finally played Mass Effect: Andromeda

I must say, it's not as bad as some people are make it out.

The CC, of course, is total shit. I barely have any control over my character's appearance, and there are nowhere near enough hairstyles to satisfy me( plus, the hairline is too low most of the times IMO). I attempted to make my character a Triss Merigold lookalike, just for the sake of seeing if I can recreate a pretty female character using what I have. I used the short haired black preset because I thought it was the most proportional one( most of the presets looked outright fugly without any tweaking and had disproportionally huge lips as if they artificially used whatever celebrities use to make their lips bigger). I ended up with a red headed latino/mixed race - looking Ryder who, while not the fugliest chara out there, had a perpetual frown on her face that ruined her appearance in a lot of ways and at times made her look more like an angry teenager rather than a mature adult( I don't know if making the characters look younger was intentional, but Ryder is 20-something, not 15, having such expressions looks plain silly.). The animations really are bad( at least they were before they patched it, I still have a cracked, unpatched version), but it's been discussed so many times I don't want to come back to it.

I left the default Scott because my grandma was upset I still wasn't asleep at the time, so I had to quickly wrap up the customization, and I didn't want to leave him customized because my attempts to customize them ended up with him looking either like a socially awkward school student( I would have kept him this way if I was doing a gag playtrough, but that's for later) or like an angry mobster, so I haven't looked around the male character creator as much. I really wish that they actually spent more time developing a more versatile character creator, with more attention to facial shape, rather than adding crazy ass options like purple hair( come at me speshul snowflakes XD), red eyes( I didn't know vampires existed in the ME universe), some really silly tattoos( not that they all are silly, but some really are), and other elements of the SJW fashion that only 14-year-olds and players who don't take their characters seriously would choose, which weren't present on any NPCs in the original trilogy but for some reason are present here. because I've seen fanmade character creators that can do a lot more *side-eyes Skyrim's RaceMenu* . But enough of this.

The chunk of the story I played was... okayish, I guess? I've seen worse, I've sen better. But I don't think, its the "average" okayish, but instead "hopping between good and incredibly silly" okayish. Some moments I really liked, were dramatic, and I would even say they're well done, but there are also incredibly cringy moments there and there.

Also, the cliches. First it was the *SPOILER* "offing the parents in the beginning" trope. Am I the only one who is getting more and more fed up by it? Like, let them make it at least until the middle of the story, so their death could have had an impact( remember when they killed off the player's spouse in the first 20 minutes of Fallout 4, and as a result, nobody cared)? Or let them not die at all, because let's face it, while parents dying is a source of drama, losing one of them is not nice, with "not nice" being a scandalous understatement. Alec Ryder seems like he could have been an interesting character, but they had to kill him off so that the player character could be special. Which brings me to the next trope that is IMO very overused.

I don't know what's this with storytellers in media, but making the main character special seems like a big deal( and it's always been a big deal for BioWare games). As I wrote earlier, Ryder's father dies, after which Ryder is promoted to a Pathfinder, with a kinda thin argumentation that other people wanted it, despite your character having less experience than the other people around. Then, suddenly, everyone looks up to you and see you as the solution to their problems, again, despite you most likely still not wrapping your head around what's happening. And the more I play, the more the game starts to feel like a Space Jesus simulator( not that the original trilogy didn't give such vibes, but it wasn't anywhere near Andromeda's level of Space Jesusing, unless you take the shitty endings of ME3, which most players ignore anyway, into account).In one mome t you become the beacon of hope to everything and everyone. 

I know that players love feeling special. Still, not every character gets to or should be the Saviour of All. There are smaller, less remarkable characters, whose stories happen to be just as, if not as engaging as the stories about the Chosen Ones. I mean, take the Witcher 3. Geralt is a witcher. Sure, he gets himself into different kinds of stuff thourought 7 books and 3 games, he does different things, which gets him different kinds of fame, but that doesn't make him the Chosen One, or the saviour, or something like that. That role is given to his ward/ adopted daughter, and his search for her is what kicks the main quest off. During he sidequests, other than dealing with monsters, he also has to deal with peasants and townsfolk who are not that special or outstanding. Yet, somehow most of TW3 quests are more dramatic, interesting and touching than the ones I've seen in Andromeda. Again, like I said, you can make a story about a character who isn't the Chosen One that is still interesting.

Back to Andromeda. While I haven't gotten particularly attached to them like I did to the original trilogy characters, they do seem likeable. Liam is goofy at times and it kind of amuses me, but he seems like a good buddy. Cora seems kinda badass, the cool, experienced character to Ryder's young and curious. Haven't settled for a romance yet, if I romance anyone, I'll probably go for Jaal( I'm a dirty alien fucker and I'm not sorry XD) , but. I. Want. Turians. Quarians. And. Drell. Why aren't there any options of them( yeah, they said Drell and Quarians will be late, but a male Turian flirt option would be nice).

I've noticed that they removed the Paragon/Renegade conversation choices, and while I am happy they removed an unnecesary karma meter that forced you between picking two flairs of dialogue, I still don't know if they kept the interrupts. No need to label them Paragon/Renegade, just the interrupts. They were fun. I haven't seen them yet, but I hope they kept them. As for the tone system, I haven't played far enough yet to see what effects it has on your experience of the game.

I like combat. It seems challenging( at least on Hardcore, which I chose for my playtrough), and at the same time more versatile than the one we used to have. Really an improvement over the original trilogy on this department. Bravo, BioWare.

I hope nobody takes this as a negative review( post? whatever?). With me trashing CC and discussing the story tropes, it might seem like I am hating on ME:A, but I'm not. It's an okay game. Not as good as the original ME trilogy, but not the worst thing I've ever played either. Overall, I think your opinion might depend on your expectations of the game. Still haven't played far enough to consider the game a win or a disappointment, but I don't think it's as terrible as some people made it out to be. Anyway, you may not agree with me. You play - you find out.