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harry-styles-obsessed · 9 months

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hi amber! could i request something about harry helping reader through grief? if it's too heavy or triggers you in any way that's completely understandable and you don't have to write it! i just need some comfort right now, i lost my grandpa a month ago and i'm struggling a lot with it and i feel so lonely and like no one cares, so yeah... :(

thank you so much and i hope you're doing well! <3

Hi lovely, thank you for the request! I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is tough but take your time with it okay? It’s hard but I promise it gets better. I hope this brings you some comfort. And please know you are loved and cared for, sending you all the healing energy. All the love, A. xx

The safety of your arms

©️ please do not copy or translate my work.

Harry was a firm believer of the saying grief was love with no where to go. He knew you often overwhelmed yourself with such a thing, it tore him apart, it truly did. But now he was focusing on the fact that your grief was becoming unbearable… you had become more quiet. Less talkative. More emotional and very anxious. He always told you to talk to him and that if you needed him he would be right there, but you were afraid of bothering him but that morning- you awoke feeling worse than ever, the grief was getting to you, it felt like the weight of the world had been pressured upon your shoulders and here you were knees up to your chest as you stared down at the covers on your bed, tears streaming down your cheeks as your breathing grew heavier and heavier. Your chest was very tight and it was becoming increasingly more difficult to breathe

Your lower lip trembled, eyes wide, as your hand soon trembled towards your phone grabbing onto it and immediately calling Harry’s number. You and Harry were a couple but didn’t live together just yet, he had offered to stay with you, but you explained the fact that you needed time to grieve and he accepted that. Soft sobs left your lips your eyes squinting as you struggled to calm down “y/n? Hey… what’s up?” Harrys voice came through the phone, voice croaky and slightly raspy proving he had just woken up “h-harry… I-I need you… I-I cant do this anymore.” You sobbed out and the man’s heart instantly dropped into his stomach “oh y/n” he whispered, “hey… darling I need you to calm down. Breathe okay? I’ll be over in ten.” He spoke keeping the phone up to his ear as he threw on a random T-shirt and some navy blue shorts “Harry I cant do this anymore, I’m so scared… I miss him so much… I don’t know what to do. I miss him” you cried out to him your voice cracking over the phone as your sobs only grew heavier and heavier “I know baby… I know… I’m coming now okay? Keep talking to me sweetheart. You’re going to be okay.”

His words barely got through to you, you felt as if nothing would be okay anymore, and so you didn’t respond you just cried. Seconds turned into minutes and soon enough Harry had walked through the front door, hanging up, as he rushed into your bedroom. Your hair was a mess and your face was covered in tears- dry and new. You clearly hadn’t been taking care of yourself. The sight of you made his heart break. “Harry” you sobbed arms wide open, needing him, and he happily but sadly obliged as he got onto the bed beside you the bed dipping beside you, your arms wrapping around his neck as his arms smoothed around your waist pulling you into his chest- he slowly sat down, back against the headboard as he held you in his embrace- pressing soft kisses to your head as you sobbed into his chest your sobs breaking him, fingers curled into the material of his T-shirt your sobs only growing louder. “Shhh shhh… I’ve got you… I’ve got you… oh baby I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His hand snaked up and down your back slowly and gently as he gently tried to sooth you “shh my love… shh… I’m right here. I’m right here.” Your shoulders jerked with every sob that rocketed throughout you before an anguished scream left your lips, the scream muffled by his T-shirt, it wasn’t necessarily a scream- more so a yell of pure agony. You didn’t know how else to deal with these unbearable emotions and so you were letting these feelings out and Harry was allowing you to do just that,

“Let it all out… good job… you’re doing a good job sweetheart… you are… I’m so sorry baby. So sorry.” He whispered holding onto you tightly your sobs growing louder and louder, you were practically inconsolable, and soon enough you began to panic because you couldn’t suck in your breaths properly- hiccups leaving your lips, your lungs contracting harshly as you squeezed your eyes shut, hands gripping onto his T-shirt “I-I-I can’t breathe- I can’t…” you could though, you just felt as if you couldn’t due to the panic and pure grief you were going through. You needed support. “Hey hey… baby… baby…” his hand caressed against your cheek making you look at him “focus on your breathing… hey… focus… you’re breathing. You’re okay. Listen to me sweetheart… hey…” he looked deeply into your eyes before he gently grabbed your hand placing it down onto his chest allowing you to feel his heart before he began to slowly exaggerate his breathing, attempting to get you to follow his breaths, “I love you so much darling. Love you so much… just breathe okay? I’m here for you.. right here…” your eyes, full of trust and desperation, gazed into his eyes fearfully your grief stricken gaze breaking his heart “I-I’m so scared” you whimpered out and he shushed you gently “I know you are but you’ve got no reason to be scared darling… I promise… I’m here. Right here. Shhh.” He ran his fingers through your hair as he gently and slowly rocked you back and forth in his embrace “I-I- don’t leave me… please.” You whispered out and he shook his head “won’t leave you. Im staying I promise.” His fingernails gently scratched against your back in a soothing manner, before he slowly lifted his hand up to cup against the back of your head, scratching your scalp slowly and gently trying to sooth you, your head coming to rest against his chest as he continued gently scratching your head soothingly your sobs continuing but little by little your sobs slowly began to die down,

“That’s it… good… good.” He soothed quietly as he pressed soft kisses to the top of your head “you’re okay… you’re okay…” he held you close to his chest as you whimpered quietly. “I miss him…” you whispered and he nodded “I know darling. I know. You’re allowed to miss him. You’re allowed to be sad. You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to not be okay…” he soothed to you gently as he rubbed up and down your back slowly and gently “let me take care of you… okay? Let me take care of you… you don’t have to do anything anymore… let me look after you, yeah?” And as you nodded weakly he pressed a kiss to your head, soothing you lovingly “I-I feel like no one cares for me Harry… I’m so sad… I don’t know how to do it anymore.” You sniffled weakly and he nodded, trying to show you that he understood you “I understand darling… but listen to me… please. Y/n…” he cupped your face in his hands your chin resting against his chest, eye to eye as he looked deeply into your eyes “you are so loved…” he spoke to you quietly before leaning in, lips pressing against your forehead “so loved… I care for you… you have so many people that care for you. I promise you. You’re so important…” he stroked his thumb against your cheek gently and lovingly “you’re very loved.” He studied your eyes attempting to get it through to you that you were loved. That even if it was difficult you mattered and were very important. He soon fell silent just holding you in his embrace, allowing the silence to wrap around you both as he rocked you back and forth in his embrace staying quiet for a while until eventually he spoke to you quietly,

“Want me to run you a bath?” He asked gently and very softly and you just weakly nodded “yeah? Okay sweetheart.” He murmured gently “please don’t let go of me.” You begged out and he shushed you keeping a hold of you “I won’t my love… I won’t….” He held you close to his chest “bath later…” you whispered and he nodded his head “okay darling… okay… that’s okay.” He murmured softly rubbing up and down your back slowly and gently “if you want to sleep you can… I’ve got you… it’s okay. You’re safe with me.” He pressed multiple kisses to your forehead, arms squeezing around you as he held you close his arms tight and loving around you. “You don’t have to do this by yourself sweetheart… please let me help you, okay?” You nodded snuggling into his embrace and he simply held you, loving on you, pressing soft kisses to your forehead every now and then as you began to rest in his embrace. He hummed a soft tune to you, a random tune, no specific tune just a random one to sooth you and it certainly helped. Your breathing became a lot calmer and now you were half asleep on his chest

“Love you so much” you muttered out gently as he stroked his fingers through your hair “love you just as much. Forever and always.” He murmured softly not daring to let go of you and just like he promised: he took care of you. He pampered you and loved on you as best as he could, whilst also getting you out of the house, buying you flowers and chocolates to try and make you smile again. Your happiness was important to him and he wanted you to be okay… it was tough… it always would be… but grief took its time. And he wanted you to know that you had to let it take its time… it was torturous, and exhausting but soon enough it would become easier. It might take years…. Months… or never… but I promise you… one day it’ll all become a whole lot easier.

Be kind to yourself. You matter. You’ll get through this. As Harry would say: we’ll be alright<3

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harry-styles-obsessed · 1 year

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You are enough.

Request: hey, I was wondering whether you could do something along the lines of mental health? I’ve been struggling recently and your stories brought me out of the darkness in some way or another so if possible? Thank you!

A/N: hey anonymous, thank you so much for the request. I understand how difficult mental health is. I’m so glad my stories have been able to do that. I’m sending you all the love and I hope this is okay. Remember you’re not alone. My DM’s are always open. Much love, Amber x

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, pretty dark topics, panic attack, self hate, depression&anxiety- please read at your own discretion.

Mental health was a beast no one could tame. Depression, anxiety and so many more… it was almost torturous. As if the demons within your head created a pact together and decided it would be fun to torment you. It was never ending and to be quite frank it was exhausting. You sometimes felt as if no one understood you. It was so tiring. It felt as if the soothing words that were repeated over and over again became less soothing every time. As if the demons within you were becoming more tolerant to the words, to the comfort, as if they were slowly beginning to drown you. Harry, your boyfriend of 3 years even paid for you to get therapy… out of his own love and own money which you felt terrible for but he assured you it was for the best. The therapy was going well for a while but then it started becoming repetitive… you struggled talking and when you couldn’t talk and felt the pain wrap it’s cold loathsome hands around your throat constricting your breathing you simply couldn’t and wouldn’t talk.

That day was going awfully- first you encountered an ex friend whom you were not on good terms with, next you were caught in a flood of rain absolutely drenched and the cherry on the top was the fact when you walked inside your apartment it was empty. Cold. Sad. No one to wrap their arms around you. No Harry. No nobody. Just you and your confused uncontrollable emotions. You felt like such a waste of a human being.. no… you were a waste of a human being. You were meant to go to your weekly therapy session but you were exhausted, harry was out recording songs for his new album and you were just here wasting your life away. It felt as if everyone was accomplishing something… all except you. You dropped your bag onto the floor slowly moving towards your bedroom, the door hitting against the wall as you sniffled. You tried desperately to not cry. To not be weak but you couldn’t control the anger and resentment you felt… and not because of anyone… no… simply because of yourself. You hated yourself and didn’t know how to control the feelings flooding your blood stream. Your body sank into the bed, wet clothes still clinging to your skin as you curled up in a ball closing your eyes tightly as soft sobs began leaving your lips until the crying turned into little whimpers those whimpers turning silent too as you managed to somehow cry yourself to sleep. Everything was going so well… so damn well… and you just had to go ahead and ruin it. Harry would tell you it wasn’t your fault and you were being too harsh on yourself but he wasn’t there to soothe you… you couldn’t bear to even think good things about yourself. You were broken.

Harry had spent most of his day recording, he wanted to release new good songs and he knew the fans craved new songs. The recording went really well everything was coming together and he was quite proud of it however he had a horrible gut feeling that he simply could not shake. He knew what you went through and you were always his top priority no matter what, of course concerts mattered and performing for his fans was also his priority but you would always come first. If you needed him he would be right there to support you. He knew you quite well he knew how the simplicity of a hateful comment on social media could send you spiralling and so that’s why he made sure you got rid of social media, he didn’t want to be possessive or controlling but he didn’t want to see you go through the brainwashing factor of all the hateful comments, the comments that stripped you of your self love… you hated yourself and Harry had to do a whole lot to make you love yourself again and he wasn’t gonna let some child mess up your mental health. Most of the comments came from jealous 11 year olds who had no clue what the hell they were doing, it was harmful. Harry remembered the time when hate comments got the best of him too… but he built a tough skin, a wall around himself that protected him from any hate.. he knew how to cope with it but you… you just needed a tad bit more of TLC and he was more than willing to be that person to remind you that you are enough.

“Babe I’m home!” He called his voice echoing off the walls as he quietly shut the front door his ring adorned fingers lightly twisting the lock on the door to make sure they wouldn’t get any visitors. Stalkers most definitely weren’t a shock to Harry. “Baby?” He called once again his concern growing more as he slowly walked into your room his frame pausing as he saw you, your frail body laying weakly on the bed. He let out a soft sigh just glad you were okay before he took slow steps towards where you lay. He slowly sat down beside you on the edge of the bed his hand gently resting upon your shoulder his hand rubbing up and down your back slowly and gently his fingertips slowly drawing patterns “y/n?” He whispered out as he slowly laid down beside you his arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you close, and once he saw the way your eyelids fluttered every so slightly he let out a sigh as he gently caressed his hand over your face brushing some hair off of your forehead so he could look clearly into your tired puffy eyes, he knew you should be at your therapy session now but he didn’t bring that up… he knew not to. He knew you were having a mental crisis but that was okay. “What happened?” He asked simply and quietly “I-it doesn’t matter…” your voice was tired and weak his expression turning more stern as he gave you a disapproving but soft look “don’t say that. Of course it matters.” He murmured softly his lips gently pressing against your forehead as he pulled you closer to his body. “You matter, y/n… I don’t want you hiding your emotions from me. You matter, so therefore your feelings matter. C’mon. Talk.” He urged gently he knew when you got like this it took a while to coax it out of you but he had become petty expert at understanding you and understanding what helped knock you out of it. “I don’t wanna.” You whispered into his ear and he nodded, his fingertips gently soothing against your skin “okay. We don’t have to. But I’m gonna stay with you until you want to talk alright?” He said and for the first time you nodded slightly proving you wanted that and that you didn’t want to be alone.

His grip on you loosened ever so slightly as he sat up again scooting backwards so he was propped up on a couple of pillows his back resting against the headboard “c’mon sweetheart, cuddle time.” He murmured giving you a small smile his arms opening wide for you a soft little breath leaving your lips as you lugged your tired body up clambering on top of him, legs straddling either side of him before you leaned into his chest, his arms wrapping around your shoulders tightly and securely making sure you felt safe and sound as you practically melted into his embrace, eyes fluttering shut. “Want to watch a movie? Series? Marvel? Harry Potter? Stranger things? Back to the future?” He named all things you had both watched together at some point. You shook your head remaining nonverbal but he didn’t mind, he knew you needed him and he was going to be right there for you. Your head which rested upon his chest listened to the way his heart thumped rhythmically against his chest, so calmly, so warmly…. So peacefully. “Cartoons” the word soon left your lips as he gazed down at you a small smile tugging at his beautiful lips “alright.” He said simply, not judging one bit, cartoons were comforting in some aspects especially when you were going through a tough time. He put on your favourite cartoon before dropping the remote back down next to him his arm wrapping around you once again as he let out a soft sigh “I’ve got you… I’m right here… never leaving you.” He spoke softly as he pressed a little kiss to the top of your head.

The cartoon soon became a slight murmur in the background as tears blurred your vision a little sniffle coming from you “I’m sorry, H” you whispered meekly, he didn’t respond- simply wanting you to get whatever was on your mind out. “I-I…” you swallowed harshly unable to say it worried he’d be embarrassed of you, worried he would be disappointed. He knew the sound of your voice all too well, the way your eyes were full of worry “you hurt yourself didn’t you?” He asked and the tears that cascaded down your cheeks were enough of an answer for him a soft sigh leaving his lips as he held you tighter more protectively “oh darling… it’s okay..” he whispered quietly your breathing becoming heavier your heart racing so much so it was starting to hurt “I-I’m so sorry harry… I don’t know why I did it it was stupid… I- i was clean for so many days and now I go ruin it like a fucking idiot! I’m so stupid!” Your voice raised more with anger “hey hey hey… look at me.” Harry demanded his hand gently caressing against your chin as he made you look at him “don’t. Don’t. You’re not stupid. Everyone has little bumps in the road… you’re allowed to stumble and fall every now and then. We all are. I’m not angry at you. I’m not disappointed. I’m not upset with you. Breathe. In for four… hold for four… out for four.” He soothed slowly and gently your breathing soon calming down again as he looked into your eyes a soft assuring smile resting upon his lips “I’m sorry… so sorry.” You said quietly and he shook his head “you’ve got no reason to be sorry…” he assured gently “but-“ he shook his head silencing you by pressing a kiss to your lips “but nothing y/n.”

His words were assuring but calming as he smiled softly at you, he was sad you had hurt yourself but he wasn’t angry. No. Not in the slightest. “Can you show me?” He asked softly but once you shook your head he knew not to push your boundaries “okay sweetheart… you don’t have to… did you cover them though? Not bleeding anymore?” And as you shook your head he let out a soft sigh “y/n, I know things are hard right now, but I need you to be vocal with me.” He urged gently and as you looked into his eyes you remembered just how much you could trust him. “Didn’t use a knife or razor” you whispered quietly “lighter” you said, a soft sad look forming on his face as he nodded “okay.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek “thank you for telling me… I’m proud of you.” He murmured softly. You leaned back into him your lips resting beside his ear “I don’t know why I did it… I just felt empty… sad… it seemed as if the whole world was against me today… just felt hopeless.” You whispered to him and he listened giving you his undivided attention “that’s valid. You’re allowed to feel like that. Your feelings are valid.” He comforted his hand gently sliding up the back of your T-shirt as he allowed his warm hand to caress against your skin “I love you y/n.” He said softly and gently. “Love you too Harry.” You whispered and a small smile tugged at his lips. You deserved the world and he knew that… one day he hoped he would be able to help you see yourself through his eyes.

“Tell me, would you treat somebody the way you treat yourself?” He soon asked and you looked into his eyes a small frown forming on your face “of course not.” You said and he nodded “then why do you treat yourself the way you wouldn’t treat others? Do you not believe you deserve the same amount of love others deserve because that’s not true… maybe take some of the love you have for me and give it to yourself. You need to start loving yourself… seeing yourself the way I see you.” He murmured stroking his fingertips against your cheek gently. “How do you see me?” You asked and he smiled softly “well I see a beautiful woman who doesn’t see her worth… I see a woman who’s badass but doesn’t let that full badass potential come out to play enough… I also see a scared anxious girl who doesn’t know how to express herself properly… but within that is a beautiful girl who deserves nothing but happiness. You deserve it y/n. You’re worth it y/n. You’re enough, Y/n.” He said softly and the more you gazed into his eyes the more emotional you became “tell me…” he said softly “what?” You asked softly and he smiled reassuringly “tell me. Tell me you’re enough.” He said and you looked into his eyes “I’m enough.” You said softly and he smiled “good job… now a little louder.” You repeated it again… over and over…. Until somehow it was imprinted into your mind and he wouldn’t ever stop reminding you of that small but very big factor….

You’re enough.

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