#it’s just annoying to see everyone else have an actual hairstyle with like little details

[miyeosin]

🫠

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

The Guru

Hello everyone! So this is kind of the second post about my new AU idea. From the same Universe as Little Freak. This time about Dorlene. I am testing out if people would like me to create a blog about this. So let me know what you think.

Pairing: Marlene Mckinnon x Dorcas Meadowes (Dorlene).

Btw, Dorcas (Cas) is Nonbinary for me, but in my head, they discover their identity and gender later on in the story. So lots of misgendering, just because Marlene doesn't know Cas pronouns yet, not even Cas knows them.

Muggle Modern AU.

Trope: Strangers who are opposites to friends to lovers.

Content Warning: Mentions of too much pressure from parents, maybe internal homophobia, disconnection from one self.

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Dorcas Meadowes was a very pretty girl. Marlene wasn't blind. Dorcas had soft dark skin. Dreadlocks that looked they were made in the salon this morning, by a professional. She wore soft makeup. Her nails were perfectly made. French style. Marlene compared it with the nail black polish that she constanly took off without even noticing. She tended to bite her nails a lot. A bad habit, perhaps.

Dorcas had her uniform perfect. Everything on its place. Marlene was constantly trying to defy the authorities or so. She wore any other jacket she could find, expect the one from the uniform. Right now, she was wearing a black aviator jacket that she had found in the men section. It was cozy. Three teachers had scolded Marlene so far. She was still wearing it.

And that was the contrast between Dorcas and her. They were completely different. Dorcas was popular, pretty, studious, a rule follower. Marlene was a mess. She had the same friend group since forever: Lily and Mary. Sometimes the boys. Marlene got easily distracted in class, only because all of this bored her. Marlene broke the rules.

Dorcas was wearing clean black boots with heels. Marlene was wearing her old ripped converse. All of her friends had written or drawn something on them.

Dorcas and Marlene were opposites. There was no way in hell that Dorcas Meadowes would talk to Marlene, except to make fun of her or something. But yet, Marlene found herself staring at Dorcas a lot in class. Marlene found herself staring at Dorcas practising ballet sometimes.

Mary was constantly bothering her with Sirius. Childhood lovers and each others' first kiss. And sure, Marlene liked Sirius. Most of the time. She would never admit it to his face though. But Marlene didn't stare at Sirius for hours, admiring every detail of his existance. She did that with Dorcas.

Perhaps it was admiration. Perhaps it was the feminity and delicacy that she would never have. Or perhaps it was something else... Marlene didn't know.

So Marlene was nervous that morning. She had the terrible luck to be paired up with Dorcas for the English assignment.

"Meet me at the Library on Wednesday, Mckinnon" Dorcas had told her when Marlene asked her about the arrangements to work.

"Wednesday? Actually I..."

"Listen" Dorcas had interrupted "Wednesday is the only day available for me. I am a busy person..."

"Noted" Marlene rolled her eyes.

Dorcas was annoying. Dorcas was a little princess who thought she was better than everyone else. And Marlene detested people like that. But damn... Dorcas was so freaking pretty.

"See you on wednesday, then" Marlene spat.

When Dorcas nodded and turned around, Marlene added.

"Stupid mighty princess" she whispered under her breath.

"What?" Dorcas turned to look.

"Nothing!" Marlene gave her an awkward smile. But since Dorcas didn't smile back, Marlene decided to run away from there.

And now, the day was here. Bloody wednesday. Marlene didn't know why she cared about her reflection. Or why she kept changing hairstyles. Ponytail or not ponytail. Wild or tamed. Straight or curly.

Marlene finally groaned and decided not to care, because this was ridiculous. So she walked to the Library with her hair loose and using the correct uniform for once.

Dorcas was sitting on one of the tables. Her legs were crossed. And she was writing something down with her pink puffy pen. Already? Marlene hadn't even arrived. Marlene was actually sweating.

Marlene walked up to her.

"Hi"

Dorcas looked up at her.

"Hi"

Very nice. That was it. That was their interaction.

Marlene decided to take a seat because she didn't know what else to do.

"Have you started yet?" Marlene asked as she took out her things from her bag "Am I terribly late or something?" chuckle.

"No... I was just writing down ideas" Dorcas put her pen down.

"Okay"

Silence. The silence was actually killing both of them slowly.

"I was thinking..."

"Did you..."

They spoke at the same time. Marlene chuckled unconsciously. And Dorcas smiled. Dorcas smiled. Marlene didn't think she had seen this girl smile ever. It made Marlene feel good. Perhaps more relaxed.

"Pride & Prejudice" Marlene began nodding "I can say with a certainty that it is the first book Mr. Flitwick send us to read that I actually finished. It is not about the romance between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy that kept me going, but how Elizabeth just continues to defy the expectations of society that were written for her or every woman at that time. You know, get married, be a mother, blah blah blah. I am sick and tired of society still working that way, you know? Some women are still expected to bloody be wives and mothers... And..." Marlene stopped, seeing Dorcas' expression "Sorry, am I talking too much?"

"Yeah" Dorcas nodded.

"Sorry..." Marlene snorted "I tend to do that when I am nervous... Not that I am nervous to be with you. I mean we haven't worked together ever. And you seem a bit intimidating to be fair..." Dorcas raised an eyebrow "No! I didn't mean that, I mean we practically don't know each other at all. Even though we have shared classes for five years which is still suprising that someone cannot know their classmate..."

"Mckinnon!" Dorcas interrupted. She sounded irritated. Marlene was embarrassed "Can we please focus on the assignment and be done with it?"

"Yeah sorry..." Marlene nodded "My bad. My mom does say I talk too much sometimes. I am socially awkward... Not a proper lady..." she rolled her eyes.

Dorcas raised an eyebrow.

"And I am going to shut up now" Marlene continued "So we can start working"

"Thank you" Dorcas faked a smile and continued writing "I was thinking we should write down our ideas for the essay and then compare them"

Marlene nodded "Yeah sounds cool" she smiled "I mean I won't have trouble because like I mentioned..."

"In silence..." Dorcas said.

"Yeah sure. In silence"

Dorcas continued writing. Marlene opened her notebook, giving Dorcas curious side glances. The thing was that Marlene didn't understand why she acted like a freaking idiot around Dorcas Meadowes. Marlene was a confident person. Or so she appeared to be. Marlene knew exactly what to say and when to say it. But when it came to Dorcas, Marlene lost that confidence immediately. It was as if this girl had some sort of power over her.

Marlene didn't know why she wanted to like her.

"Hey... Dorcas?"

Dorcas sighed quite annoyed. She put her pen down.

"What?"

"Why am I so irritating to you? Why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you!" Dorcas protested "I don't even know you"

"Exactly!"

They were hushed by some kids around. Dorcas shook her head softly. Marlene decided to whisper now.

"The definition of working in pairs is to actually work together, you know?"

Marlene was aware that she was being an idiot to attract Dorcas' attention like that. But she couldn't avoid it.

"I thought we were going to compare after working in silence"

Marlene smiled. Dorcas twisted her mouth. Marlene could take it as a smile.

"I've seen you dancing ballet" Marlene said, trying to sound casual "You are good"

Dorcas seemed surprised by that statement. And now Marlene realized she probably sounded like a creep. Spying on her.

"You've been spying on me or something, Mckinnon?" Dorcas smirked.

Marlene couldn't avoid blushing. She even swallowed, helpless.

"I mean... No" Marlene snorted "It's just that the rugby... the rugby pitch is near the dance class... I see through the window..."

"Through the window?"

"As I walk to the locker rooms!" Marlene exclaimed "I cannot help it!"

"Sure, you little creep" Dorcas tutted.

Marlene's cheeks were on fire.

"No... I swear I don't..."

Dorcas finally laughed. Marlene reckoned it looked good on her. Because she was rarely seen happy.

"I was messing with you, Mckinnon. Relax"

Marlene relaxed only when Dorcas smiled again. Both of them giggled. Marlene bit her lower lip, because she was embarrassed and because she had hope that perhaps she could befriend Dorcas Meadowes.

They heard another "shh" from students near by. And they both tried hard not to laugh again.

"You really think I am good?" Dorcas asked finally, lowering her voice.

"Yeah!" Marlene answered immediately "I mean for what I've seen"

Dorcas looked down embarrassed. She was cute when she was blushing.

"Only because I've been practising since I was six" Dorcas sighed "I reckon my mum pressures me a lot" Dorcas rolled her eyes "Dorcas..." she imitated her mother, Marlene pressumed "Stand straight... Dorcas don't eat sweets, they would ruin your body...Dorcas you are not doing the correct plié"

"Wow" Marlene sighed. She had no idea that Dorcas' mother pressured her like that. It was well known that Mrs. Meadowes used to be profesional dancer from the Ballet Theatre Group back in her days. But Marlene had always assumed that it was also Dorcas' passion.

"I feel the same about rugby" Marlene confessed "It's a lot of pressure"

"Oh yeah" Dorcas smiled "Because your whole family is Rugby devoted"

Marlene took a deep breath.

"Yeah"

Her father used to be a profesional rugby player. A famous athlete. A legend. But Marlene didn't receive the pressure. That was her brother Adam. In fact, he was becoming famous and recognized in The League. Adam was everything to her fsther, not her.

"Mckinnon The Legend" Marlene rolled her eyes. That's how the press, everyone called her father.

Dorcas giggled.

"But I actually like playing rugby" Marlene shrugged "Do you?"

"Amm..."

"I mean, not play rugby. But ballet" Marlene chuckled.

Dorcas bit her lower lip.

"I used to" she confessed "But it has become a lot"

"Yeah... I understand" Marlene moved her mouth "I would like to learn it though. Ballet. Looks so beautiful. Is it too late for me? Because I've heared that in order to become professional you must learn it from a very young age, like yourself. I mean I've seen that it is a very disciplinary sport...Sport? Is it considered a sport?"

"Mckinnon..."

"Because there is the debate if it should be..."

"Mckinnon..."

Marlene stopped. And she felt embarrassed again. Her cheeks were betraying her now. Turning red.

"Am I doing it again?"

Dorcas nodded but smiled.

"Your mother is right" she said "You do talk a lot"

"Yeah I know"

"It is quite annoying"

Since Dorcas was still smiling, Marlene decided to take it as a joke.

"You know..." Marlene teased "You are annoying yourself, Miss Meadowes. So the masses say..."

"How am I annoying?" Dorcas gasped.

"I don't know..." Marlene shrugged "Perhaps I haven't seen you smile until today..." she swallowed "And... you are clearly not open to make any friends that aren't Regina George and her buddies..."

"Regina George?"

"Don't tell me you haven't seen Mean Girls"

Dorcas looked at Marlene like she had gone mental.

"Mean Girls? No?"

Dorcas shook her head. But not because of the movie. But because she was obviously angry but above all sad.

"You don't know anything about me, Mckinnon" Dorcas snapped, clenching her teeth "You have no idea what is like to be me..."

"Clearly not"

"No"

"Because I don't even know you!"

"Exactly!"

Marlene sighed "Sorry. It was all a joke" she shook her head "I don't even know how to behave around you"

Dorcas didn't answer. She simply stared at her.

"I lied..." Marlene bit her lip "You really make me very nervous. I don't why" she groaned "And you are here right in front of me and you are so pretty... So perfect... And look at me. I am a mess"

Dorcas' mouth twisted to the side.

"You think I am pretty?"

Marlene blushed.

"Everyone thinks you are pretty" Marlene looked anywhere but Dorcas' penetrating eyes "I mean look at you"

Dorcas smiled. But she tried to hide it. By licking her lips.

"Well... I think you are pretty too, Mckinnon"

Marlene chuckled. Because no one had called Marlene pretty. People had called her sexy, hot, attractive, fit, but not pretty. Never pretty. It sounded so...feminine. Marlene wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"Now can we go back to the assignment, please?" Dorcas asked. She had still that smile in her face.

"Okay... That's fair" Marlene blushed again.

Dorcas moved her eyes from Marlene towards her notebook again. She started writing. But her smile was still there. So bright and brilliant.

"You should really watch Mean Girls, though" Marlene added "It's so funny"

Dorcas didn't look annoyed now.

"I'll think about it. Okay?"

"Okay"

Marlene sighed in relief. Maybe she should really start writing something down. She looked at her empty notebook's page.

"Maybe we can watch it together..."

It was naearly a whisper. If they weren't in The Library, Marlene wouldn't even have heard Dorcas' voice. And perhaps nothing would've started.

"What?"

"That dumb movie you mentioned" Dorcas focused on writing, Marlene didn't know what she was actually writing "Maybe we should watch it together"

Marlene blinked. Was she dreaming? Was this actually happening?

"Only because I would need you to explain how I am related to it" Dorcas added, pretending to be annoyed. But she wasn't. Marlene could tell. Marlene smiled.

"But you are not allowed to talk during it, okay?"

Marlene chuckled. She was so happy. She shouldn't be this excited to have the possibility to watch a movie with Dorcas Meadowes. But she was. Her heart was beating really fast as well.

"I don't promise anything"

Dorcas tutted. But she smiled. There were silent for a while. Marlene was actually writing her first idea. But that's when Dorcas started speaking.

"The..." Nevermind. Marlene dropped her pen, because she was interested of what Dorcas had to say. She licked her lips embarrassed now "The reason I don't relate much to people is because..." she sighed "I don't think people would like the real me"

Marlene frowned "How do you know that?"

"I had been constantly trying to please people around me" Dorcas answered nervously "My mother, Lu, Al and Amy... Everyone is happy with this version of Dorcas. Except for me"

Marlene moved in her seat, straightening up and moving closer. She wasn't sure why Dorcas was telling her all of this. It was like a dream come true. Like having an intimate dinner with a celebrity that rarely was impossible to reach. And she could know everything. Marlene had the feeling that if she didn't take this chance, this would never happen again. So she would take it.

"And who is the real you?" Marlene whispered curiously.

Dorcas moved her mouth, thinking "I don't even know that. Sometimes I feel disconected from myself. Like I am watching everything as if it were happening to someone else..."

"Like watching a movie?"

"Yeah..." Dorcas frowned "Something like that"

Marlene smiled at her. Mostly to show her that she understood somehow. And she kind of related. Sometimes Marlene loved to please Mary. Only because she had a magnetic personality. And Marlene loved her. Very much. So seeing Mary happy, made her happy.

"Wow..." Dorcas snorted, pulling away embarrassed and putting her hair behind her shoulder "I don't know why I told you all of this. I didn't mean to"

"No it's okay..."

"I feel so embarrassed now" Dorcas looked away.

"It is okay" Marlene chuckled.

Dorcas shook her head embarrassed.

"Maybe I am your Guru" Marlene added.

Dorcas smiled "Is that from that dumb movie too?"

"First of all" Marlene chuckled "That movie is not dumb. And second of all... Guru means like a guide... Like a fairy god mother" Dorcas snorted "And I am here to help you"

Dorcas seemed amused.

"Help me with what?"

"Discover your true self"

Dorcas raised an eyebrow.

"First of all... How do you think about the name Dorcas?"

Marlene was teasing. Maybe it was flirting or something. Marlene didn't know.

"Are you making fun of my name?"

"Not at all, I think it's really cool"

Dorcas giggled, which made Marlene smile.

"I prefer Cas" she said "That's how my friends call me... I don't know..." she looked down "That name is more like me than Dorcas"

Cas. Cas. Cas. It actually sounded very nice. It fitted her. Cas.

Marlene nodded "Yeah I totally get it. Everyone calls me Marlene. But my real name is..." she leaned in to whisper "Marleiana-Charlotte"

Cas laughed now. Maybe because Marlene had used a italian accent, she didn't know why. She had been saying plenty of shitty things so far. It was what Cas provoked on her.

"Everything together... Like it is one word"

Cas laughed louder. Marlene smiled pleased with herself. She figured that she liked making Cas laugh and smile. It felt good. It was watching a very sad person glow in happiness. Someone that didn't usually smiled or laughed.

Students in the Library were silencing them again. Soon Madame Pince would notice too and kicked them out of The Library but it was worth it.

"Does Cas like to laugh then?" Marlene asked "Is she a happy person?"

Cas licked her lips embarrassed.

"I reckon Cas is... But I don't think they are a girl..."

"Oh..."

Cas fixated on playing with her puffy pen, like her life depended on that.

"I mean the voice inside my head" Cas snorted, still looking at the pen "I am not sure what they are... You know what I mean?"

"Do we all put gender to our head voices?" Marlene chuckled.

"Do you?"

Marlene had never thought about it.

"Oh yeah..." Marlene nodded "He is a very muscular man with a deep voice..."

Cas snorted, shaking her head.

"He is like: Marlene..." she deepened her voice at the last word, like a man would talk "Don't be an idiot! You are talking too much you are embarrassing yourself!"

Cas laughed again. Marlene reckoned she could live only to make Cas smile and it would be enough.

"Really? What is his name?"

"Randall"

It was Marlene's turn to laugh this time. Only because it was the first name that popped into her mind. And Cas did it consequently. They laughed louder now. Not quite caring that they were in The Library. Or not remembering. Or not caring.

"Mmhm..."

They only stopped when they heard someone clearing their voice behind Marlene. A very high pitched voice. Marlene turned when she saw Cas' eyes widening.

Madame Pince was there. She seemed to be in a bad mood as always. Her glasses were at the end of her nose. Her makeup was a mixture of green and blue. And her red bright lipstick was a bit messy.

"I am going to kindly ask you to stop giggling like chickens or leave The Library, girls" Madame Pince said "Because there are students who actually want to study and read in silence"

Marlene had to giggle because Madame Pince had compared them with chickens and she found that funny. But that kind of ruined everything. Even if Marlene tried to cover her mouth.

Madame Pince's expression changed to pure rage. She actually turned red. But Marlene only focused on the way Cas smiling was at her. That was what was important.

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They were kicked out of The Library. Madame Pince forbid Marlene to enter there for the rest of the week. And let out Cas with a warning. Like Marlene could care less. It was Lily who liked to spend her days in The Library, Marlene didn't know why.

And she was happy. It was worth it to see Dorcas Meadowes laugh like that. Well Cas. But she was serious now as they walked through the halls. Marlene noticed plenty of people waved at her. She was so popular and so pretty. And she waved like a princess. She faked smiles like a princess.

"Now Mckinnon..." Cas sighed "Thanks to you, we got distracted and didn't finish the assignment. Congratulations"

Marlene didn't know if she was joking until she smiled. So Marlene smiled back. She could take it as a joke.

"Thanks to me?"

"Yeah!"

Marlene faked a gasp, grabbing her chest to dramatize.

"You were the one telling me about your existencial crisis, Cas"

Cas' smile disappeared from her face.

"Please don't tell that to anyone, okay?" she begged "Not even your friends. Not even your family. Not even your reflection"

Marlene thought it was fair. Cas was scared to be judged. Marlene opened her mouth to say something, she wasn't sure what yet. But luckily or not luckily, she was interrupted.

"Cassie!"

What was unfortunate about Cas was that she had the worst friends and she kept the worst company. Lucille Burke Fawley, the pretentious bitch, Alecto and Amycus Carrow, the gossipy twins that liked to jugde everyone just because they could.

They were looking at Marlene now like a piece of shit. Always like that. Upside down. Like they were scanning her and judging her completely.

"There you are, sweetheart" Lucille smiled at Cas after giving Marlene a long stare. But The Carrows were still looking at her. Alecto whispered something on her brother's ear and he smirked.

Marlene felt naked.

"I told you guys I had the English Assignment with Mckinnon" Cas said it as if Marlene was an obligation, like she was so glad their time together was over. Marlene tried not to take it too personal.

"Mckinnon...Hi..." Lucille didn't sound pleased to see her. Marlene wasn't either.

"Oh hi..." Marlene faked a smile but immediately rolled her eyes.

"Cassie, we are going to Lucille's with her absolute divine gay fathers for a relaxing afternoon by the pool" Amycus smirked.

"Totally! This week has been very stressful" Alecto added.

"Coming?" Lucille smiled as well.

Cas gave a side glance at Marlene. But it was so quick nobody noticed, only Marlene who was observing her. But Marlene was tired and confused.

Marlene didn't know what just happened in The Library. But she liked it. She liked Cas laughing and smiling because of her. She liked that Cas opened herself to Marlene. To Marlene. Not these three clowns. She liked that Cas called her pretty.

Perhaps the real Cas was buried deep down. But right now, Dorcas Meadowes prefered to please her friends.

"Yeah I totally need relaxation"

And she spoke like them as well.

"I'll send you my part of the essay, Mckinnon. Please do yours"

She didn't even look at Marlene as she walked towards them. She didn't even say goodbye. Marlene didn't care. Marlene couldn't give a fuck. So she turned on her heels, and started walking away.

"Oh babes, she is trying to seduce my Sirius, you know?..." Lucille thought perhaps she was whispering, but Marlene heard her just fine.

Marlene stopped on her tracks.

"Lu, Sirius is not yours..." Cas whispered back.

"Yet..."

"And we were just doing a bloody assignment together... I don't even like her..."

Marlene was very explosive and she got angry easily. And now, she got very angry. So she turned again.

"And it's working!" Marlene exclaimed, loud enough for them to hear "I reckon Sirius Black is crazy for me, you know?" fake smile "We are getting along so well..."

Marlene didn't fancy Sirius Black. Not like that. The person that she really fancied was in front of her. Marlene didn't know what that made her. She could worry about it later, but it was true. She fancied Cas so much. The one that had laughed with her. The one that was buried inside. But Cas didn't give a shit about Marlene. She never would.

And yeah, partially Marlene was saying all of this to piss Lucille off. But mostly hoping that Cas would get jealous somehow. Eventhough it seemed impossible.

"So you better back off, Lucille" Marlene added "Sirius is mine!"

Marlene left with a bad taste in her mouth. If Mary heard what she had said about Sirius, she would go insane. She was voting for her and Sirius so much. Little did Mary know that Marlene wasn't into Sirius at all. Maybe she wasn't even straight.

But Marlene was too angry and disappointed to think about it right now. So she walked away.

[didsomeonesaydaddydraco]

Jealous | Draco Malfoy (prompt request)

Request: yes, by anon. Anon requested the following: Hiii! Could I please request a Draco Malfoy x reader with prompts 5,14,15 ? Fluffy 🥺🥺with a hint of angst if you can X)

Word count: 3,342

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!reader

Note: My requests are still open, but before you request from the prompt list, please check out the updated version. Thank you so much!

Draco Malfoy was a little bit possessive when I came to his group of friends. He had troubles with trusting someone, and getting attached to them, but when he did, all his insecurities came out. His trust issues were paired with the constant fear of losing those people, but instead of telling them how he felt, he chose the easier way and hid his feelings and fears behind the mask of an arrogant son of a bitch. He was overprotective, but supportive, jealous and hot-headed, and on top of them, stubborn as hell. Only a few people were willing to give him enough time to prove that he was actually a nice person, who was only misunderstood and troubled when it came to talking about feelings or letting his guards down. He was popular, but not for what he really was. He was well-known for being a bully, an arrogant twat, an overdramatic troublemaker and the biggest hater of mudbloods. Only his closest friends knew the real Draco Lucius Malfoy, and he was fine by that. He always thought quality was way more important than quantity. He might have thought of himself as someone who was hard to read, but in reality, it wasn’t that hard. Not for Theodore Nott. Theo was his third closest friend, being behind only Y/N Y/L/N and Blaise Zabini. While Draco went to Blaise for the fun things, like pranking the Golden Trio, throwing a secret party in the Room of Requirements or just chilling somewhere with a bottle of Fire Whiskey, he chose Theo for be his emotional support and moral compass. And he gladly took up this role, especially because he had a gut feeling that his dear friend developed deeper and more serious feelings towards their one and only Miss Y/L/N.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Theo asked Draco one day, when they were sitting in their Common Room, working on a DADA project together. Theo found him staring and smiling at Y/N, who was sitting at the other side of the room with her friends, Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass, doing each other’s hair and makeup. The girls told them in the morning that they were tired of only wearing their uniforms and boring hairstyles, and they wanted to look like themselves again. The boys didn’t understand them, but they came up with the sad excuse of having too much homework and studying, so they didn’t have to participate in their afternoon program. 

“What?” Draco asked him, but never turned his gaze away from the girl, who was sitting on the ground in front of Pansy, getting her hair curled. Theo chuckled and turned his attention to their friends as well. He saw why Malfoy was so fascinated by her. Y/N was one of the most beautiful girls at Hogwarts, if not the most. Her hair was always shiny, her makeup natural but immaculate. She had an amazing style and she always smelt like jasmine and vanilla. But it was her smile that so many boys fell for. It was beautiful and bright, could make everyone’s day better. 

“You know what I’m talking about” he rolled his eyes and turned back to his book “Dray, you’re in love with her” 

“No, of course I’m not” he tried to deny, but the blush on his cheeks said otherwise. Draco sighed at the sight of Y/N in her spring dress and curly hair. She looked amazing, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she had her eyes on someone. They had known each other for years, she was still nice to him when he was an annoying rat at first grade, and she was one of his real friends. They spent so much time together, it was literally impossible for Draco to imagine his days without her. He saw her getting a crush from time to time, but they passed just as quickly as they came. He even saw her falling in love with Adrian Pucey, and he was by her side when they broke up. It was a mutual decision. After a year and a half of complete confusing for Draco, he felt relieved when she said they decided with Adrian to stay just friends, because they weren’t working as a couple anymore. Draco knew from then that it wasn’t just a friendly love anymore. He knew why he was always so moody and needy during the time of their dating. He hated to see him holding her hand, hugging and kissing her in the corridors. He realised he wanted to be the one who did those things to her. If he learnt only one thing from his father, it was how to treat a woman right. He was Lucius still surprising Narcissa with flowers and dates, just to keep the smile on her face. He saw the love they had, even though what his family’s secret was. And he wanted that. Draco wanted to put a single white rose on her desk before class, just to see that beautiful smile on her face. He wanted to hug her in their sleep, whispering sweet nothings in her ear and hear her giggle when he tickled her. He wanted to kiss her perfect lips and show her how much she means to him.

“Than I guess you don’t mind that George asked her out after Potions today” Theo said, knowing very well he hit a nerve with that. If it wouldn’t have been enough that someone had the audacity to ask her out before Draco finally get the courage to do that, it had to be a Weasley. He was well aware of how Draco felt towards them, and how he wanted only the best for her. He said so many times, that she deserved a pureblood Slytherin who could identify and maintain the lifestyle she grew up with. Theo knew Draco was actually talking about himself, and he was sure he was the guy who could actually make her the happiest, but it wasn’t his place to get them together. They had to realise on their own how they were feeling. He knew the unspoken rules of both families, how they preferred another Pureblood, preferably a Slytherin marrying their only child, but Y/N never really cared about blood status. She knew they were all equal, some of them not fortunate enough to be born in a rich family. 

“He did what?” Draco almost yelled, and his sudden outburst of emotion brought the girls’ attention to their table. Y/N looked at him with raised eyebrows, asking him without words what the hell was going on. He only shook his head and sent a small smile toward her. He felt sick by the single thought of a Weasley having an arm around her.

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?” Theo laughed and leaned back in his chair. He watched Draco’s face with an amused look. It was funny to see the always pale boy with red cheeks and even more furrowed eyebrows. Draco looked at his friend with an annoyed expression and picked up his quill. He wanted to deny it, but the feeling was too strong. He just recently learnt what jealous really felt, and he was battling with that feeling. He hated to admit that he got a soft sport for someone, and how he got jealous. He was jealous of someone else having Y/N’s attention. Not because he was needy or insecure. If he was sure about someone’s unconditional love, support and loyalty, it was her. He just didn’t want someone else to realise how amazing she was and for them to steal her away from him. He just didn’t want to lose her to someone else. She was his peace.

“I’m not jealous” he murmured and from the corner of his eyes, he checked her. She was looking at her dress in the mirror, twirling around to see how the dress hugged her body. Draco felt the oh so familiar warm feeling in his heart when he saw her. He didn’t care what she was wearing, she looked absolutely amazing in everything. Just as he opened his mouth to tell Theo to go back studying, Y/N skipped to them with a huge smile on her face.

“Hi, boys” she greeted them sweetly and stood by Draco’s side. He took a deep breathe, letting her sweet scent fill up his nose “So, I have plans for now, but Pansy and I were wondering if you two wanted to go the Hogsmeade tomorrow, to buy some things for Blaise’s surprise party”

“What about Daphne?” Theo asked, hoping the girl had other plans. They never liked each other, and only tried to get along, when they were with their group. Y/N laughed, and assured him it would only be the four of us. The boys looked at each other, both of them thinking the same thing. Maybe they could turn the shopping into a double date at the Three Broomsticks. Theo wasn’t the only one who caught on the secret glances, the moodiness when Pansy was talking to another boy. Draco knew very well Nott fancied the Parskinson girl, but was too intimidated to ask her out. 

“Sounds good to me” Draco smiled at her and put his hand on the small of her back, stroking it with his thumb. He smiled even bigger when he saw the light blush on her cheeks “Maybe we could get a few drinks at the Three Broomsticks?”

“Amazing idea” she bleamed at them “Alright, I have to go now, or I’ll be late, but we’ll discuss the details later” 

“Bye, darling” Draco said with a soft tone and watched as she hurried out of the Common Room. For a second he forgot where she was heading. For that second, he was happy and warmed by their small encounter. 

“Bye, darling” Nott mocked him in a teasing tone. He would have laughed at him, if he wasn’t already making plans in his head for tomorrow. The four of them always had the best time, and he was really looking forward to spend some time with Pansy and watch how his friends were acting around each other, like they weren’t secretly already in love.

“Shut up” Draco throw a ball of paper at him and turned back to his essay. He wanted to finish it, so he didn’t have to worry about it and rush back from their day together just to finish it in time for class. 

——

Draco wanted to stay in the Common Room and wait for Y/N  to come back, but he had Quiditch practise so he had to leave. He tried his best to shut her out of his mind during practice, but it was impossible after he saw Y/N and George in the courtyard, sitting together and giggling at something. Draco couldn’t erase the picture from his memory, and his anger got the best of him. Flint shouted at him several times to get his shit together and focus on the game, but he couldn’t. He wanted to go back and punch the Weasley boy in the face for being so close to his girl. Unfortunately, it would have been weird, considering that she was only his in his mind. The way she giggled and how interested she looked by George hunted him during practise. His stomach dropped at the thought of someone else having her. Draco was glad when Flint said they should cut their practice short due to raining. He wanted to be back in his dorm room, sulking over how much of a coward he was for not making a move on her. And now, he had to watch her falling in love with someone else. Again.

He was rushing back to the Slytherin Common Room, basically running down the corridors, when he saw Y/N and Weasley standing under the arcade, still talking about something. He felt like he was stabbed, when he saw Y/N wearing George’s jacket. He slowed down his steps, watching them waiting for the rain to stop. He waited for something. He couldn’t tell why he was being a masochistic. Maybe if he saw them kissing, or holding hands, it could have helped him to move on. But it never happened. He heard the Weasley boys quiet voice thanking her for meeting up and a quick goodbye before he rushed through the courtyard. Y/N adjusted the  jacket on her shoulder and took a few quick steps, but Draco was fast in her heals. He didn’t know what had gotten into him, he just wanted to let out everything. He wanted her so bad, and he wished that he was what she wanted, and not someone else. 

“Y/N” he called after her. She stopped in her steps and turned around. Y/N arched her eyebrow, wondering what Draco was doing outside in such a bad weather. He hated when his hair got wet, and he hated it even more if one of his expensive shoes got dirty because of the mud “What are you wearing?”

She was surprised by the envy and anger in his voice. Draco never talked to her like that before. She never gave him reason to. He was just fine a couple hours earlier when they were talking about their Saturday plans with Theo and Pansy, so his sudden mood swing confused her. 

“Uhm” she played with the sleeve of the jacket, not being entirely sure what to say “It started raining and I was a bit cold, so Georgie offered me his jacket so I don’t het sick”

“Georgie?” He basically spat the name out of his mouth “Now what? Are you two giving each other bloody nicknames?”

“What the hell got into you, Draco?” She asked. Y/N knew that Draco found the Weasley twins the least annoying out of their family, and something laughed at their pranks “It was a nice gesture”

“A gesture to get into your panties” Draco almost yelled. He wasn’t mad at her. He wasn’t even mad at George for being a man enough to ask her out. He was mad at himself for being scared of his own feelings. 

“Fuck you, Draco” she scoffed and turned around to leave, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. Y/N groaned. She was annoyed by him, and didn’t want to deal with his possessiveness in the pouring rain. Her clothes and hair was all wet, and she was craving for a hot shower and some more comfortable clothes.

“No, fuck you” he was now shouting. He was done with hiding his feelings and seeing how every boy at Hogwarts could have had her, because she was single “Fuck you for liking every boy more, but me. Fuck you for not noticing how hard I’m trying to get your attention. Fuck you for not seeing how much effort I’m putting into this whole thing just to make you see what’s right in front of you” he was pouring his heart out in the rain. It could have been one of the most romantic things, if they weren’t at the verge of arguing, and they weren’t shouting at each other. Draco dropped his head with a heavy sigh. He didn’t want to see the disgust or hate on her face “I shouldn’t be jealous, you aren’t even mine”

“What are you talking about?” She was more confused than ever before. Her heart skipped a beat with every word that left Draco’s mouth. She hoped his feelings were true. She wondered how he could be so blind all this time. How he didn’t see the way she looked at him? How he didn’t feel her hugs were always longer and tighter when she hugged him? How could he not tell he was her soft spot? “Draco?”

“It doesn’t matter. I hope your date was fun” his words were soaked with envy. Y/N’s eyes widened what he said. Date? 

“What date?” She laughed a little bit “I only met Georgie because he needed help with something. He has a huge crush on this Hufflepuff girl, Annah, and asked me to give him some good date ideas”

“You were never supposed to mean this much to me” he said like he didn’t hear what she just told him “I was never supposed to fall so hard. But you know what? I did and that’s the truth” Draco looked at her with hopeful eyes. Maybe they could have a chance “Don’t you see, Y/N?” He laughed dryly. It was pathetic how he was being a softie. He hated how vulnerable he felt, standing in front of her, wearing his heart on his sleeve, confessing his love to the girl who was probably thinking of him just as a good friend “I don’t want anyone else to have your heart, kiss your lips, or be in your arms, because that’s only my place”

There it was. All words said. No taking them back. Draco finally felt proud of himself for being brave enough and facing his emotions and feelings. 

Y/N bleamed at the words. He said what she wanted to hear from him for so long. Her heart was beating in her throat and she felt like no breathe would have been enough for her. She couldn’t say anything. Her words were stuck in her. How could she say something as beautiful as he did? Those were a little bit harsh words, but meant more than the most beautiful love poem in the whole world. 

“Kiss me you twat” she laughed and took a step closer to Draco, who was still in shock after just confessing everything that he felt. He couldn’t even understand what she asked him, because his mind was numb. He saw her lips moving and feeling her sweet scent in his nose again, but he couldn’t tell what he was supposed to do. Y/N caught him off guard when she grabbed his jumper and pulled him into a kiss. At first, he didn’t kiss back. His body couldn’t understand a single thing that was happening right there, and he just stood there. But his brain switch back on again, when he felt her pulling away. He dreamed of this moment so many times. He tried to imagine how soft her lips were and how she tasted. He always imagined if she tasted like her favourite peppermint gum. But he never thought their kiss would be like this. He melted into her lips and his heart skipped every second beat. Draco had his arms around her small body, keeping her close, not letting her go. He wanted to stay like that for eternity, with the girl of his dreams in his arms, kissing her and feeling her heartbeat against his chest. 

“You know” he murmured in between kisses “I wanted to beat the shit out of that blood traitor, when he…” he couldn’t finish his sentence, because Y/N put her hand over his mouth to silence him.

“Of course you wanted, boo” she cued at him with a funny expression “You can tell me more about how you wanted to, but for now, let’s go back to the Common Room and just cuddle”

“Can I have more kisses?” He asked in a childish voice and wide eyes. She found him the most adorable, yet sexiest man ever. She rolled her eyes and took his hand happily.

“Of course” she giggle, and they ran to the Common Room hand in hand, laughing at each other for almost slipping and falling to the ground. Draco was the happiest, and was ready to show the whole school he was the lucky man who had Y/N Y/L/N’s heart, and they were more than welcome to stay away from his girl if they didn’t want his father to hear about their sad excuse of flirting with her. 

[uten4]

Shun and Aren's relationship is simultaneously so adorable and hilarious.

Like first you've got Aren, who when he was introduced had just transferred schools and dropped his usual (very physical) method of befriending others, but is now lonely and wants to make friends.

And then you have Shun, whose main goal in the series before he befriended Aren was to make friends! And he did... sort of... succeed in befriending Saiki and Nendou-- they hung out a lot and cared about Shun in their own way. But clearly Shun still wanted to have a really corny poster-child of best-friendship, showing frustration for Nendou's annoying tendencies and Saiki's resistance to being around Shun almost all the time. Like in one episode, when Shun is daydreaming about being a hero, he fantasizes about Saiki calling him by his given name (as opposed to his family name), so you can tell that increased closeness is something he still really wants. And what gets me about that in particular is that very same episode, Shun and Aren become friends, and from then on you only see them referring to each other by given name ^D^ By being friends with Aren, Shun gets some of that cheesy closeness he really wants, but that Saiki is too reserved to offer him.

But yes, when Shun and Aren first speak, Aren is already disheartened by all his friendship attempts up til then failing... and they do that amazing bit where Shun does his chuunibyou monologue and Aren mistakenly thinks this is how all normal people sound. And THEN, even better, some of Shun's chuunibyou terminology are actually things that Aren recognizes... from the world of delinquency. So they're able to have Aren's first satisfactory conversation at PK Academy, and it's completely incomprehensible to anyone else. Beautiful. Amazing. In the anime I don't think they ever do that again, so I thought it was a one-time joke and from then on Aren has become more aware of Shun's delusional qualities... but they actually do it again in the video game. Several times (you can check it for yourself on tumblr user silenthikari's blog). Shun makes some really weird dramatic statement, and Aren either translates it into something meaningful, or translates it into having some equally weird meaning in the delinquent world, and they are able to have a terrible and hilarious conversation this way. Overall their dynamic of Real-life Delinquent Who's Trying To Seem Nerdy and Real Nerd Who's Trying To Seem Tough And Cool is so funny when you think about it (and made more compatible with the fact that Shun is brave when it counts !!). I honestly don't know if I prefer the version of Aren who responds to Shun's chuunibyou monologues with delinquent monologues, or with passing over it while slightly confused... Maybe both. Both is good.

But yeah, Aren is super concerned about keeping his delinquent past hidden, but when Shun figures it out, he decides to judge him based on his current self and not his past, which Aren really appreciates, and it's sweet.

I also like how they spend so much time together and share their interests. In the manga Shun is really into the series Odd-Eye Persona Cerberus, but no one else he knows likes it or even really likes the magazine it runs in, but Aren shows up and HE LIKES THE SERIES... and he follows the other series in that magazine, and of course he and Shun immediately have a conversation about it that is unintelligible to everyone around them. ❤️ In other words, Shun finally gets to share his nerdy manga interests with someone else now that he's friends with Aren! And in turn, Aren is able to share his interests with Shun-- they of course get really into motorcycles together. Also they just hang out in general all the time; they're constantly sharing panels together and in the manga it's mentioned that they spent one summer break just hanging out all the time, to the point where Shun has been influenced by Aren to become foul-mouthed, which is very funny.

I also like that they're so supportive of each other. They compliment and hype each other up A LOT, on their actions, looks, accomplishments, whatever. That doesn't mean they're blind to each other's faults or unfailingly sweet to each other though, which I think is realistic and interesting. They have their casual petty arguments where they make fun of each other or call each other dumb. Also, Aren is aware that Shun is not the best at drawing and even avoids being paired up to do portraits of each other in art class. He's not a big fan of Shun's writing when he first sees it either, which (along with the disapproval of Nendou and Saiki) hurts Shun's feelings-- but in the manga he at least tries to compliment (pretty awkwardly; that's Aren for ya) Shun on something by saying he used a lot of complicated vocabulary. He also privately expects Shun to show up to the class play unprepared, thinking he can be unreliable. But when Shun shows up with an epic costume, Aren mentally takes it back and thinks he's amazing. And when everyone was stranded on an island, he doesn't put Shun on the raft group even though he wanted to go because he gets motion sickness, but Aren just states this straight-up and doesn't dwell on it. He is a person who's very geared towards showing his feelings and acting on them, so he doesn't spare Shun the harsh truth (except when he does), but to my knowledge he never goes out of his way to put Shun down, esp for things he's sensitive about.

And Shun also has moments of not supporting Aren's actions 100%. When Aren draws the protagonist of their manga with a ducktail, Shun tries to let him know that he finds it weird, and after going back and forth a little Aren's like "yeah sure I'll draw him with the hairstyle you want" and they immediately get over it. And in the video game Aren explains the instructions of something in a really vague way and Shun's like "that's so unclear man, here let me", and after he's finished Aren's just like "as expected from Shun! That was so detailed ^D^". And then there are several times in the series where Aren's about to get into a fight or do something aggressive and Shun holds him back, and honestly that's just a Good Friend thing to do. I think it's cool-- Aren looks out for Shun (ex. taking care of him when he gets motion sickness), and Shun looks out for him in turn. And this is kind of just my thinking but it seems like Aren gives Shun more... confidence by being his friend (and a really supportive one at that) and rubbing his delinquency off on him a little, and Shun helps Aren with his own goal of living a peaceful life by trying to keep him out of trouble and doing non-aggressive activities with him, like building forts, studying, playing video games, etc.!

[looniecartooni]

@hawkasss‘s “Extremely Detailed Character Chart” applied to Tyki Mikk from D Gray Man-

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Tyki Mikk

Reason or meaning of name: “First Man” and “One who is like God?” possibly signifying his deeper connection with the Millenium Earl

Character’s nickname: Tyki-pon by The Millenium Earl

Reason for nickname: Not very clear. Kind of a silly “pet” name or close friend name. He isn’t much of a fan of it and it was only used once.

Birth date: December 25th, same as the main character’s adoption date  

Physical appearance 

Age: 27

How old does he/she appear: Definitely in his twenties 

Weight: 150 lbs (currently)

Height: 6ft 2

Body build: Fairly muscular, but pretty average

Shape of face: Round, kind of a pointed chin 

Eye color: Gold like most Noah

Glasses or contacts: When in his human form he wears glasses he found in the trash to hide his eyes and face mole. Doesn’t appear to need them though.

Skin tone: Usually pale, but became more tan after the showdown on the ark. In Noah form (depending on the interpretation) dark tan or gray

Distinguishing marks: Left eye has a tiny mole under it. Also has scars on his body.

Predominant features: Curly hair, large smile

Hair color: Black

Type of hair: Uhh... short? For a while it was long. Mostly straight, but has a bit of a curl to it

Hairstyle: In his Noah form, usually pushed back leaving a large bushel of hair going down the back of his head. When his hair is long, he likes to tie it back or in a side ponytail

Voice: Not too deep, quite sexy for a chain smoker

Overall attractiveness: Very attractive. He was made to be attractive and succeeded both in the story and in the fandom’s eyes

Physical disabilities: Can’t be on his feet for too long after the ark incident

Usual fashion of dress: Tends to dress in scruffy work clothes with overalls when he’s human and in a fancy Victorian suit with a top hat and one of those weird scarf things I forgot the name of, but that’s sometimes replaced by a back tie

Favorite outfit: I’d say he likes the work clothes or just a plain shirt and pants

Jewelry or accessories: Has been seen wearing earrings on several occasions. He also carries a deck of cards to play poker when he wants. His body is also full of robotic, flesh eating butterflies 

Personality 

Good personality traits: Kind, helpful, gets concerned when someone he knows is in trouble (whether or not they’re his enemy), friendly to everyone, understanding mostly to people’s situations

Bad personality traits: Murderous intent, can snap when provoked the wrong way, able to be a bit too charming when he’s ready to attack, likes to scam people in poker

Mood character is most often in: He’s usually pretty calm and chill. He smiles a lot, but has a pretty chill demeanor. He get bothered by others a lot though so he tends to look bothered a lot too. He is also notoriously known for being confused all the time on many of the story elements that have yet to be explained

Sense of humor: Not really sure. He laughs when he’s nervous or excited. Perhaps when things don’t play out how he thought they would or when there’s irony in a situation

Character’s greatest joy in life: Being able to live a double life as a Noah and a human

Character’s greatest fear: Losing his sense of self to his Noah side probably

Why? What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil?: If he lost the ability to keep having a human side and no longer live a double life which may have already began to happen

Character is most at ease when: He’s in control, doing things right, understanding a situation, or hanging out with friends

Most ill at ease when: He’s losing or disappointing the Earl or something doesn’t seem safe. Or when people don’t listen to him 

Enraged when: He isn’t able to get a task done 

Depressed or sad when: He doesn’t know how to help the Earl 

Priorities: Serve the Millenium Earl, eat fish, hang with friends, and play poker

Life philosophy: Life is more entertaining when there is two sides to it

If granted one wish, it would be: Probably to maintain control over his Noah side

Why? : Because he likes the ability to be a human too. He doesn’t want to lose that

Character’s soft spot: People missing their friends, people in pain, or needing time to themselves. Also his friend Eez. I also saw him kissing one of his butterflies once. He’s also concerned about the Earl’s feelings (and possibly others too)

Is this soft spot obvious to others?- Road and the Earl both notice his love for humans and wanting to hang with his friends, but mostly just acknowledge it and leave it be. His brother we learn about later doesn’t appear to be very understanding of Tyki’s love for living with street people and not preferring just to be of the upper-class of society.

Greatest strength: His kind heart and ability to observe

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: His obliviousness and anger

Biggest regret: Not killing the main character back when he was supposed to

Minor regret: Losing to the main character in a game of poker where the main character cheated

Biggest accomplishment: Telling the main character not to let the monsters inside of him control him. He has to be the one to show them who he wants to be. Not sure if it helped or he sees it as an accomplishment, but it was some pretty wise words for someone who seemed to be destined to be controlled by warring forces for the rest of his possibly short life.

Minor accomplishment: Getting out of doing Road’s homework that time he was given the task to kill the main character

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: Not killing Allen

Why?- People made fun of him for it and it made him look like a failure

Character’s darkest secret: He lives a double life

Does anyone else know?- It appears the Noah are well aware of it

Goals 

Drives and motivations: Being able to see his friends again, protecting the Millenium Earl, poker, and food

Immediate goals: Capture “the Noah reaper”, keep the 14th Noah away from the Earl while figuring out who he is, and find out who Mana is 

Long term goals: Keep the Earl safe and find out who the 14th and Mana are while maintaining control

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Unsure. Probably by interrogation of other characters and more fighting.

How other characters will be affected: The Earl wants to see the 14th and the truth may be the thing that breaks him or the main character.

Past 

Hometown: Somewhere in Portugal probably

Type of childhood: Most likely on the streets as an orphan, but we still don’t have any back story

Pets: Unknown

First memory: Unknown

Most important childhood memory: Unknown

Why: We don’t have a backstory yet!!!

Childhood hero: Probably the Millennium Earl. It’s implied he was taken in at a young age

Dream job: Anything as long as there’s food and he’s with his friends

Education: Never went to school, but was supposedly tutored by the Earl and helps with Road’s homework. He did learn how to write somewhere

Religion: Catholic most likely, given the story and who he’s with, but I could be wrong

Finances: Living by minimum Victorian lower-class wage or the Earl’s money (along with probably scammed poker items)

Present 

Current location: His brother’s house maybe

Currently living with: Not really sure. Haven’t seen him with his friends, but we have seen him at his brother’s house a lot. His brother might have him trapped there 

Pets: His brother has a dog

Religion: Whatever the Noah believe

Occupation: He was a miner with his friends. Not sure if that’s changed.

Finances: Brother or Earl’s money probably  

Family 

Mother: Unknown     Relationship with her: Seriously Unknown

Father: Does the Earl count?     

Relationship with him: He likes the Earl. Kind of scared and impressed with him. Occasionally embarrassed by him

Siblings: Older brother

Relationship with them: Tolerated to a degree, but tends to feel uncomfortable around him for... reasons. They do talk and I think have a form of care. They don’t quite understand eachother though

Spouse: None     Relationship with him/her: Nothing yet

Children: He has a friend who is a child 

Relationship with them: Tyki gets along with Teez pretty well, as well as his niece Road. His nephew can get annoying sometimes but he still cares for him.

Other important family members: Yet to be revealed

Favorites 

Color: Image color is light blue and he has a light blue shirt so... Light blue? Maybe magenta or purple because of his butterflies, but that might be more of what the Earl likes. Wears a lot of black...

Least favorite color: Hasn’t expressed any hate for color that I know of

Music: Not sure

Food: Anything he eats with his friends, but he has a particular fondness for fish

Literature: Doesn’t read a lot

Form of entertainment: Poker, fishing, and hanging out with friends

Expressions: Eagerness??? 

Mode of transportation: Trains perhaps? So he can scam people- heheh... Might be the Ark though as he uses it pretty frequently. Probably more convenient

Most prized possession: Not entirely sure

Habits 

Hobbies: Poker, fishing, and napping. He also likes collecting people he kills’s buttons and giving them to Teez

Plays a musical instrument? Be kind of fun if he did 

Plays a sport? Fishing is a sport

How he/she would spend a rainy day: Playing poker, fishing (he definately would if it was pouring too), probably hanging out with friends or Noah family. Maybe take a nap

Spending habits: Food related probably

Smokes: Chain smoker

Drinks: He’s appeared to have drank Wine once or twice, but not really that often

Other drugs: I think he gets high on life and fighting

What does he/she do too much of?: Smoke, creative organ removing techniques

What does he/she do too little of?: Proper analying of sitations

Extremely skilled at: Combat, poker, fishing, and murder

Extremely unskilled at: Homework, defeating a 16 year old

Nervous tics: Puts hand on his face, chuckles

Usual body posture: Slups over when he’s relaxed, but actually keeps pretty good posture (probably instilled in him by the Earl and his brother)

Mannerisms: Calm, confidence, easy going

Peculiarities: You feel at ease around him which also makes you feel uneasy because you just know, even though he’s nice or acting nice, he most likely has something up his sleeve.

Traits 

Optimist or pessimist?: Optimist. Seems to believe he has the high ground or people will comply to what he offers

Introvert or extrovert? Introvert. Likes to be alone or with a small group of individuals. Also not a fan of people being clingy (he’s like a cat. Don’t go to him, let him come to you)

Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil with a sense of caution. He doesn’t always think things through, but he does keep his guard up mostly. When he lets his guard down, bad things happen 

Logical or emotional? Emotional. Worries about peoples feelings and does what makes him excited. Doesn’t always use logic, but he likes a good challenge

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Disorderly I think

Prefers working or relaxing?  Relaxing

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Mostly confident, but he has been unsure on himself and situations before. When he’s too confident, he’s most vulnerable

Animal lover? Seems like one

Self-perception 

How he/she feels about himself/herself: Seems to like their life

One word the character would use to describe self: Interesting

One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: I doubt he’d want to write a paragraph about it

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait?: His charm

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait?: His cluelessness or lack of perception 

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic?: His “choose” ability 

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic?: Not sure. His hair being too long? Or being “handsome”? Kind of seems to be bothered by that.

How does the character think others perceive him/her: Trustworthy or lazy

What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Probably how he looks. He already managed to get a hair cut and straighter hair

 Relationships with others 

Opinion of other people in general: He’s clueless but handsome and interesting 

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Sometimes, but seems pretty expressive in a simplistic sense. That was hindered a little by becoming a Noah

Person character most hates: Apocrypos and possibly the 14th

Best friend(s): Eez, Momo, and Clark 

Love interest(s): None that have appeared so far

Person character goes to for advice: Road

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Eez, The Millenium Earl, occasionally the main character, seems to instinctually know how to handle his brother, the Earl when he feels like he made him upset, whoevr puts him under pressure

Person character feels shy or awkward around: his brother when said brother is upset

Person character openly admires: His friends and The Earl

Person character secretly admires: I think he’s secretly impressed by the main character’s tenacity, but I could be wrong (no- I do not ship them)

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: His friends and The Earl

After story starts: The Earl and figuring out who the 14th is

[a-n-conrad]

Fighting and Flirting (Bakugo x Reader)

Chapter 17: The Internships

[Summary: Finally, it’s time for you to make a few big choices. What will you choose and how will it turn out for you? Will you pick a good hero to intern with or will you end up in trouble?]

Masterlist

Midnight had given you fifteen minutes to think of a hero name. Honestly, a good portion of your class seemed as lost as you, which made you feel a little better about not knowing what to say. 

Obviously it should have something to be with your quirk, right? Maybe. Or maybe it should have something to do with the type of hero work you want to do? But what if you change your mind about that? It should probably match your quirk.

But what about your quirk? What kind of name could you possibly think of with your quirk? Ok. Let’s go step by step. What aspect are you going to focus on? Sound, light, or illusions? 

You should probably focus on the illusions since those are your best move. What could you think of with your illusions? Your mind wasn’t exactly drawing a blank, but it couldn’t come up with anything helpful. It was like when you were trying to answer a question in class, but you could only think of answers that you knew were wrong. All you could think of were names that you knew wouldn’t work.

“Hey,” You feel someone tap your shoulder.

You jump a little, before turning around, finding a very amused-looking Bakugo, a smirk on his face. 

“Jesus, Lightshow, I swear you’re always so jumpy,” He crouches down next to your desk.

“Did you already think of yours, Bakugo?”

“Of course I did,” He says proudly, “But you look like you’re having some trouble.”

“Just a little,” You sigh,  “I just can’t think of anything that has to do with my quirk. I’m sure it’s easy for you, fireworks, but I’m having a tough time.”

“Sylphina,” He says suddenly. 

“What?”

“It’s a type of butterfly with partially clear wings. It’s the type of butterfly that the butterflies you make remind me of.”

“You sure know a lot about butterflies.”

“Not really, I just saw them on a museum trip when I was in middle school. You don’t have to use it if you don’t like it, but it doesn’t look like you’re thinking of anything better.”

“I like it,” You smiled at him, thankful for the help, “Thanks, Bakugo!”

“Whatever,” he replies, looking away from you as he stands up, making his way back to his seat. You could see Kirishima saying something to him, but it was quiet enough that you couldn’t hear. It didn’t really matter as you Wrote down the name.

- - - - -

FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE

He wasn’t sure what made him help her. She just looked so frustrated and lost, and some part of him needed to help. He felt better after she smiled at him. Why? That really didn’t make sense. It wasn’t usual for Bakugo to feel like that about helping people. Especially Deku’s friends. 

“Hey, what was that?” He heard Kirishima ask him, leaning close to him and whispering so that their classmates couldn’t hear.

“What was what, Shitty Hair?”

“You know what I’m talking about, Bakugo,” He replied. Bakugo could almost hear him rolling his eyes, “You’ve seemed to be helping (Y/N) a lot lately. Didn’t you walk her home the other day?”

“Yeah, it was on my way to the train station.”

“And I saw you helping her to the nurse’s office after you fight at the sports festival. You didn’t do that with anyone else.”

“She was in rough shape. I’m not a monster.”

“Come on, bro,” Kirishima was starting to sound a bit annoyed. He rarely lost his patience with Bakugo, “Just admit you like her. She cute, it’s ok.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Shitty Hair.”

Kirishima finally gave up, sighing loudly as he sat back in his chair, slumping down a little, “Whatever, man.”

Maybe he did like her, but only as a friend, right? She was tolerable to be around, unlike most of the class. She was clever and observant, and she didn’t give up, even when she was fighting entirely blind. He just admired her strength. And he liked that she didn’t think he was weak, even when he wasn’t being aggressive, and she wasn’t scared of him when he was. 

And her quirk was interesting. The butterflies she made the day they found out about the sports festival were amazingly detailed. They really did remind him of the sylphina angel butterflies that he had seen on a museum trip in middle school. Her’s were alive, though, and they had so much energy and life. They glowed, like her. Really, every time she smiled at him, are looked him in the eyes, she seemed to be glowing. Her eyes were always shining with so much excitement. 

Oh. Maybe Shitty Hair was right…

- - - - -

Soon enough, it was time for you to present your names. Most people get their’s approved no problem, though you’re a bit surprised with some of them. Shoto and Iida just used their first names. Bakugo and Mina both had their first got rejected, which was honestly a little entertaining, though you were sure it was frustrating to them. Eventually, they got names approved, though it took them a little while longer than everyone else. 

It was your turn soon enough, and as much as you liked your name, you were still a little nervous to present it. If Midnight rejected it, you had no idea how you’d think of a new one.

“Sylphina?” Midnight asked. Obviously it wasn’t a name that everyone was going to understand, but that wasn’t really the point, “It sounds pretty, but what does it mean?”

“It’s a type of butterfly, they look like this,” You held out your hand, creating an illusion of the butterfly that you had just looked up not that long ago, while you were waiting for your turn. You released it, letting the butterfly fly around for a moment, the clear sections of its wings reflecting a bit of light, and the orange sections at the base of the wings really drawing everyone’s eyes.

“Wow,” Midnight’s eyes lit up a little, “I love it! So pretty!”

You disbanded the illusion, letting it dissolve into a few little specks of light as you go to take your seat. To be honest, you probably owed Bakugo another thank you when you got the chance. You really liked the name. And honestly, you thought it was really nice that Bakugo helped you pick it out. It made your heart flutter a little.

Eventually, everyone had their name. Midoriya had chosen that name Deku, making you feel a little better about calling him his old childhood nickname. And the rest of your classmates had pretty good names too. Uraraka chose Uravity, Tsu chose Froppy, and your favorite of all was Kirishima, who chose Red Riot.

After everyone had gotten their names approved, it was time for you to think about your next big decision. Who you were going to intern with. You had been presented with a list of heroes and agencies who had offered to take you on as their intern and looking over the list, you wondered how you’d ever choose. There were so many, and you weren’t entirely sure what type of heroing you’d like to focus on, so you couldn’t use that to narrow it down. The only one on your list that you knew you could rule out was Endeavor.

“Hey,” Shoto leaned over your shoulder, peering at the list in your hands, “You already crossed out my dad, huh?”

“Yeah,” you reply, “We’ve trained with him plenty, I want to take the opportunity to learn from someone else. Maybe someone a little different.”

“Hmm,” He continued leaning over you. You’d be a little uncomfortable with the proximity and close contact if it wasn’t Shoto. You two had known each other long enough that you were used to things like this, “What about Best Jeanist?”

“Wait, what?” You looked down at the list where he was pointing, “He actually offered? Isn’t he ranked just a little under Endeavor?”

“Yeah, He’s fourth right now. Under Hawks and my father,” Shoto says, “He’s pretty different, too.”

“Yeah?”

The more you thought about it, the more it made sense to you. Not to mention, he was the highest-ranking hero, aside from Endeavor to send you an offer. And he seemed pretty well-liked by the public every time you heard about him. Maybe it’d be good to get a few tips from him on the public relations aspect of heroing. Endeavor was never very good at that aspect. He’s too cold to make a good impression on anyone.

- - - - -

It was time for your internships to start. You had a little while off of school for it, and Aizawa had told you all to bring your hero costumes, though he reminded you all not to wear them in public without permission. Either way, you were honestly excited for your first chance to get a bit of experience, though you were sure it wouldn’t be as intense as real experience. 

When you arrived at the office of Best Jeanist, you were honestly surprised to find him already leaning over someone. It took you a moment to recognize Bakugo with his new hairstyle, and it took you even longer to really process what you were looking at. You tried your best to hold back a  laugh, but you alerted them to your presence as you finally broke.

“Fashionably late doesn’t apply to hero work, (L/N),” Jeanist says, as he turns around, not surprised at all by your arrival. Bakugo however, stared at you as though he had just seen a ghost.

“Ah, my apologies, sir,” You say, bowing as he looks down at you, “My neighbor asked me to help her carry her groceries in this morning.”

“Hm,” He stared down at you, his eyes looking as though they were assessing every single detail of your existence, “I suppose you might end up being a good influence on Bakugo, so I’ll allow it.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean!?” Bakugo shouted, spiking his hair back up as he got angry.

Best Jeanist immediately started fixing his hair as he explained, “Well, it seems like she’s got the material needed to be a hero. She’s got a need to help people woven into her soul, which might be something good for you to learn.”

You can’t help be feel a little awkward as he stands there, eyes totally focused on Bakugo’s hair. Was he going to change your hairstyle too? What were you doing wrong?

“I chose you because you need some refinement,” he explained to Bakugo, finally getting his spikes to stay down, “And I chose her because she seems to do something that I have a hard time finding in other heroes.”

“Oh, uh,” You chime in, “What’s that?”

“You bring out the best in even the most stubborn.”

- - - - -

Best Jeanist actually hadn’t changed anything about your outfit or your hair, though he seemed set on changing as much about Bakugo as possible. All he did was critique the fabric the aspects of your outfit was made out of. Apparently, he would’ve chosen silk instead of satin when it came to your glaves, but he was willing to overlook it since he was sure you wouldn’t be able to get high-quality red silk in high school.

“You didn’t tell me you were interning here,” Bakugo hissed to you while the two of you were on patrol.

“You didn’t tell me, either. I didn’t think it was important where I was interning. I wasn’t expecting to run into you.”

“Hm,” Bakugo scoffed a little. You wondered if he was annoyed to be spending time with you like this. Making he did mind your presence more than you thought he did. Though, you supposed Bakugo would’ve said something if that was the case. He was never one to hide the fact that he didn’t like someone.

“Hey,” He turns from facing you, and you thought maybe for a second you saw a little bit of pink flash across his cheeks, though you were sure it was just your imagination, “Why do we have to do stupid patrols like this anyway?”

Best Jeanist sighed, as though Bakugo had asked the dumbest question he had ever heard, and waved to a few fans as he continued to walk, “To remind people who we are and that we’re out here protecting them. Keeping up a presence sews trust between the protectors and the protected.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” You say before Bakugo can get a word in, “If people see us out working, they’ll be reminded that we’re here to protect them and they’ll feel safer!”

“Precisely.”

“I think you just like getting recognized,” Bakugo mutters, just as a few kids run up behind him.

“Hey, I’ve seen that blonde guy on TV before,” One of the children states, a slight lisp to his speech. Bakugo rolls his eyes as if he was sick of hearing that, “Yeah, and ooze villain caught him and he almost cried.”

Hm. Well, that was a story you hadn’t heard about Bakugo before. You wondered how you had missed that broadcast, though maybe it was on one of the days that you had been avoiding the news. You tended to do that when you were already in a bad mood.

“What did you say!?” Bakugo shouts, causing the kids to freeze in place, sniffing and crying as they were yelled at.

“Have you really forgotten everything I just taught you,” Jeanist asked, exasperated, “Talk with them.”

You couldn’t help but feel anxious. Bakugo wasn’t a bad guy, but he never really had a way with words, and you were sure that he wasn’t going to be able to smooth things over with the kids.

“Fine,” He muttered, leaning down towards them, “Listen here, I wasn’t helpless, I was just thinking of ways to fight back. Sometimes a hero has to pretend he’s been caught. You really think I would lose?”

“Bakugo,” You reached a hand out in an attempt to stop him. He really wasn’t making anything better. 

“What?” He snapped.

“They didn’t mean any harm,” You tell him, “They’re just kids. They don’t know any better. I’m sure you were a total brat as a kid.”

“I was not.”

“I don’t believe you,” You smile at him, before turning to the kids, “I’m sorry about him. He doesn’t mean any harm, it’s just not very nice to say things like that about people.”

“We’re sorry,” one of the kids whines.

“It’s alright, just try to be a bit nicer in the future, alright,” They nod, before running off, crying a little less than they were before, though you hadn’t managed to smooth things over completely.

“You really should take some tips from her,” Jeanist says, looking down at the two of you as you get back to patrol.

The rest of the week went on like that. Best Jeanist judging every move that Bakugo made, while you tried to help him. You felt bad about the obvious preference that Best Jeanist had for you, though you had to admit that your style matched his a bit more, maybe not in the fashion way, but in a social way. 

By the time it was time for you to head back to school, you felt as though you had picked up a few new tips, but you had a feeling all Bakugo gained was a new hairstyle. 

Taglist: @ohnosiren

[theusurpersdog]

He Would Make a Monster of Me

In the same way Dany’s political struggles reflect her personal misgivings, the way she interacts with everyone around her is a reflection of her internal struggle. Through the bonds/professional relationships she forms with Daario, Missandei, Hizdahr, Skahaz mo Kandaq, and Reznak mo Reznak, we see several different sides of Daenerys, as well as further understand what appeals or attracts her. While Daenerys was always going to make certain choices, the way she interacts with people close to her helps to push her into being a darker person, more paranoid and less willing to help.

Skahaz mo Kandaq and Reznak mo Reznak

Skahaz, more commonly referred to as the “Shavepate”, and Reznak are the two advisors Daenerys has that are highborn Meereenese. The way Daenerys interacts with the two of them offers a lot of insight into her thought processes; while she has a general distaste for both men, Dany much prefers the Shavepate and listens to many of his suggestions, while completely ignoring Reznak, even though on the surface they are the same. So, what is the difference?

The Shavepate firmly rejects Meereen; getting his nickname because he shaved his head, swearing off the hairstyles that are Meereenese tradition. While Reznak is also loyal to Dany, he does no such displays of elaborate commitment. Both men try desperately to keep Dany’s favor, showering her with all sorts of compliments and never daring to speak out of turn, but the Shavepate realizes something that Reznak does not; Daenerys’ hatred of Meereen is easily exploited. Because of this, he is able to keep Dany blind to all of his schemes and becomes a much more valued advisor than Reznak, even though Reznak would be a much more trustworthy ally for Dany.

Before I get into how Dany being manipulated by the Shavepate affects her arc, I want to make the case for the Shavepate’s duplicity. A Dance with Dragons is so detailed that a lot of people seem to miss how he works behind the scenes, but the more you re-read the more it stands out. The most suspicious thing he does is the implication that he is the one who poisons Dany’s locusts; I won’t lay the case for that out here, because the Meereenese Blot essays have already done that. Of course, that’s not a confirmed detail, but it makes much more sense than Hizdahr poisoning them; and as I’m about to argue, fits perfectly in line with the Shavepate’s previous actions.

Every chance he gets, the Shavepate tries to lead Daenerys towards violence as a solution to her problems. When the Sons of the Harpy kill one of Dany’s men, he suggests torture:

“Skahaz, I have changed my mind. Question the man sharply.”

“I could. Or I could question the daughters sharply whilst the father looks on. That will wring some names from him.”

It’s implied that he’s been torturing people before this, but he escalates the violence by involving innocents this time. As I laid out in my last post, this does nothing to help Dany; all of the information learned from the torture is false, and only works to turn the Nobles against her. Yet, through the entire book, Skahaz fights to keep torturing. That only makes sense if he is trying to sow discord between Daenerys and her enemies. He also suggests to Dany that she kill Hazzea’s father to keep the secret from getting out; while it’s easy to argue that the suggestion was made in good faith, it’s equally likely he hoped Daenerys would get caught killing one of the poor Meereenese and turn her remaining allies against her. And even if the suggestion was made in good faith, it does not speak well of him that he would kill a man for grieving his daughter.

And when Daenerys is tempted by Xaro Xhoan Daxos to leave Meereen, this is his reaction:

Reznak mo Reznak gave a piteous moan. “Then it is true. Your Worship means to abandon us.” He wrung his hands. “The Yunkai’i will restore the Great Masters the instant you are gone, and we who have so faithfully served your cause will be put to the sword, our sweet wives and maiden daughters raped and enslaved.”

“Not mine,” grumbled Skahaz Shavepate. “I will kill them first, with mine own hand.” He slapped his sword belt.

Reznak’s reaction is the one you would expect Dany’s advisors to have; having turned their backs on the most powerful people in the city, Reznak and Skahaz should depend on Dany to protect them. Yet Skahaz encourages her to leave, not fearing for his safety if she were to abandon the city. That suggests Skahaz has many friends to keep him safe, even though he has never mentioned these powerful friends to Dany.

And, even more suspiciously, he slowly builds himself an army right under Daenerys’ nose, with her permission. The Brazen Beasts are technically sworn to serve Dany, but they wear masks and change every day, and she thinks to herself she has no idea who they are. In practice, they would be the Shavepate’s men; that’s made clear through Quentyn and Barristan’s chapters after Daenerys leaves, when Skahaz uses them to stage a coup. The more you go through Skahaz’s actions and analyze the advice he gives Dany, it becomes abundantly clear he has a lot going on behind the scenes - none of it particularly in Dany’s favor.

Yet she doesn’t notice any of it; yes, she has general suspicions, but she is much more wary of Reznak, even though he has none of the red flags Skahaz does (him begging her to stay is more than enough proof that he is loyal to her; if he were going to betray her, it makes no sense to try and keep her if she would willingly go. And it also suggests he has no other allies or backup plans; he needs Dany to stay). She overlooks Skahaz’s strange behavior because she wants to listen to him; she wants to torture and punish the Meereenese nobles so she lets him, and even though she isn’t seriously tempted to kill Hazzea’s father, she isn’t repulsed by the idea (as she should be) because a part of her wants to believe he is a liar and deserves to die.

Daenerys is very good at resisting many types of flattery, never being fooled by Hizdahr’s compliments or Xaro Xhoan Daxos’ proclamations of her beauty. But she is easily fooled by the flattery of agreement; she gives Skahaz far too much power because he shows as much distaste for the city as she does. In previous books, there were hints that Dany did not take kindly to being disagreed with, like when she snapped at Jorah or Barristan, but it was always tempered by her own indecision; when she asked them for advice, she genuinely didn’t know what she was going to do. But she knows what she wants to do in Meereen, and just needs someone to tell her it’s okay, which Skahaz is eager to do. By simply disliking Meereen, Skahaz can convince Daenerys to do almost everything he asks, while gaining status and power.

Daario Naharis and Hizdahr zo Loraq

Daario and Hizdahr are Dany’s two suitors through A Dance with Dragons, and the way Dany responds to them, loving one and feeling nothing for the other, is incredibly insightful as to what drives her. I talked a lot about Dany’s hatred of Meereen in my first meta, and her relationships with Skahaz and Reznak works as a great illustration of that; and on the surface, the same is true of Daario and Hizdahr. But, while Hizdahr’s Meereenese ties definitely influences Dany’s opinions of him, her apathy towards him isn’t driven by it; she isn’t attracted to him because she simply isn’t. Yet she feels an almost magnetic pull to Daario. This contrast is very telling.

The relationship Dany has with Hizdahr is notable for how little is actually there. Through her chapters, much is made over the marriage that may or may not happen, depending on Hizdahr following through with 90 peaceful days, but almost all of the thoughts Dany has focus more on the idea of marriage itself, and how that would ruin her relationship with Daario; Hizdahr himself isn’t very important to her. Unlike everything else connected to Meereen, which Dany absolutely hates, she feels nothing strongly (positive or negative) about Hizdahr; perhaps because he is quick to disassociate himself from traditional Meereenese things, shaving his hair, abandoning his tokar, offering to marry her, quickly obliging to the requests she makes to change the wedding customs, and so on. She thinks to herself how annoying it is that he always asks about the fighting pits, but in a playful way that is more jest than anger. I say all of this to make one thing clear: Daenerys has no moral issue with Hizdahr. He may or may not be a better or worse person than Daario, considering he owned slaves and is looking out for himself in stopping the killings and going along with Dany, but that’s not what turns her off to him (it does bother her when they attend the fighting pits together, but that is after they have entered a loveless marriage). Throughout her chapters, she thinks to herself that he is handsome and well-spoken, even charming. She just doesn’t love him:

Hizdahr took her by the shoulders as tenderly as if she were a baby bird. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to hers. His kiss was light and dry and quick. Dany felt no stirrings.

"Shall I … kiss you again?" he asked when it was over.

"No." On her terrace, in her bathing pool, the little fish would nibble at her legs as she soaked. Even they kissed with more fervor than Hizdahr zo Loraq. "I do not love you."

Oppositely, Daenerys is passionately in love with Daario, who she does have moral issue with:

“He would make a monster of me,” she whispered, “a butcher queen.”

He has a sellsword’s conscience, she realized then. That is to say, none at all.

Further, Daario’s amorality is what she finds attractive in him. GRRM’s POV structure means that we see the world through Dany’s eyes, therefore everything we know is filtered through her understanding; and all we know of Daario is his outlandish physical appearance, that he is a sellsword, and that he is a terrible person. Dany doesn’t know anything about his life, how he grew up, or any other personal details.

Barristan brushes this off as young girls always wanting the hottest, flashiest man to be with (which says a lot more about him than her. . .), but there is a lot more going on. A huge part of why she is attracted to Daario is how guiltless he is. As I’ve tried to detail through all the books, Dany has these impulses to “be a dragon”, to sack cities and conquer continents, burning whoever gets in her way; the only problem being how awful she feels about the collateral damage. I’ll get into it even more in my next meta, but Daario is very similar to Daenerys, but he has none of the moral hang-ups she does. He is living proof that her worst impulses are okay. So, after Hazzea’s death, when she is questioning her own morality for allowing that to happen and has to chain her dragons, she uses Daario as an escape.

She knows that she could never sleep with him or marry him, and at first barely allows herself to think of him; she intentionally sends him away from her, and only lets herself lust after him but not act on those feelings. But the more she has to commit to Meereen, the more she begins to break her own rules. And when she has to make the ultimate sacrifice and commitment to Meereen in marrying Hizdahr, she finally gives in and sleeps with Daario. The more Daenerys gives to Meereen, the more she allows herself to escape into Daario. This isn’t strictly bad – Daenerys is giving a lot to Meereen, and everyone needs some way of escaping.

But Daario isn’t a pure escape as much as he’s an excuse. At the end of A Storm of Swords, Daenerys makes the choice to stay in Meereen, temporarily giving up her pursuit of the Iron Throne. But when she made that choice, she didn’t fully understand the weight of it, thinking she could still be the mother of dragons. But Hazzea’s death makes her realize that she has to give up that part of herself; and from that moment forward, everything Dany does in Meereen is one more piece she has to give away. And on the surface, she is giving these pieces away, sacrificing her dragon nature for the good of her people. But the more pieces she gives away, the more intense her affair grows with Daario. The more she ties herself to the city, the more she withdraws from it:

On the day that he returned from his latest sortie, he had tossed the head of a Yunkish lord at her feet and kissed her in the hall for all the world to see, until Barristan Selmy pulled the two of them apart.

Daenerys’ dragons are too big a temptation for her to really give up, and Daario is the way she holds onto that piece of herself. And while she feels forced into giving up her dragons, mostly by her own feelings of guilt, Daario never makes her feel ashamed of that part of herself:

And who would ever dare to love a dragon?

She found herself thinking of Daario Naharis once again

Missandei

The relationship between Daenerys and Missandei is one of the most complex bonds Daenerys has, and is one of many that pulls her in two different directions. Missandei looks up to Dany as a mother, and even convinces Daenerys to see herself that way. But underneath the maternal themes of their relationship, it reveals how inherently childlike Daenerys still is at heart, in both good and bad ways.

When I say “childlike”, I don’t mean immature, petulant, or stupid. The way Daenerys interacts with Irri and Jhiqui is much better at illustrating those aspects of Dany’s character, since her handmaidens are similar in age to her, yet Dany treats them very different than she treats herself. In her first chapter, she thinks this:

Dothraki were wise where horses were concerned, but could be utter fools about much else. They are only girls, besides. Her handmaids were of an age with her

Daenerys is often dismissive of Irri and Jhiqui, largely because of their age, yet doesn’t see herself as a young girl even though they are the same age. She can see all the flaws of youth in her handmaidens, but can’t see them in herself. This is best on display when Irri and Jhiqui argue over Rakharo:

“Rakharo is blood of my blood. His life belongs to me, not you,” Dany told the two of them. Rakharo had grown almost half a foot during his time away from Meereen and returned with arms and legs thick with muscle and four bells in his hair. He towered over Aggo and Jhogo now, as her handmaids had both noticed. “Now be quiet, I need to bathe.”

Daenerys’ impatience with Irri and Jhiqui’s crush is intensely hypocritical, considering her own near-obsession with Daario Naharis.

But her relationship with Missandei brings out a different kind of inner child in Daenerys, and the way the two interact is fascinating. In Meereen, Dany is constantly arguing with everyone; Skahaz and Reznak are out for themselves and she fights with them often, Hizdahr tries to make her more Meereenese, Daario tries the opposite, and Barristan pushes her toward Westeros. Amongst all the fighting, Missandei is the only one who always agrees with Dany:

Only the little scribe Missandei seemed to share the queen's misgivings.

only Missandei seemed to hear

The way that Daenerys and Missandei always agree draws an interesting connection; to see through Dany’s eyes is to see through the eyes of an eleven-year-old girl. This isn’t entirely bad; Dany looks at things with a clarity that only children can. She can look at something horrible, like the Unsullied in Astapor, or the poor Lhazareen women, and instantly feel sick over it; unlike the adults around her, who find it easy to justify horror. And when the sick people from Astapor are outside the walls of Meereen, it allows Dany to be the only one unconflicted about helping them.

But it can also be an extremely negative character trait. The same clarity that Dany uses to help people also forces her into a certain simplicity; children see the word in black and white. She fails to see her own responsibility in what happened to the Lhazareen women, fails to see the patterns she perpetuates with the Unsullied, and so on. Particularly in Meereen, this becomes a problem. In Dany’s eyes, her deciding to stay should be the end of her problems; she chose to do the right thing, so why is everyone fighting her on it? She doesn’t understand that even though the city being taken from the Masters was a good thing, the savage way it was done leaves scars. Looking all the way back to A Game of Thrones, it’s clear that Daenerys doesn’t understand that sometimes doing the right thing is hard. She spends the whole book trying to fight this truth about herself, constantly trying to seem, to be, older than she is. But she can’t, because it is the only reason she chose to stay in Meereen:

“I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl.”

Back when I wrote about A Storm of Swords, I said Daenerys may not be capable of happiness; the same pervasive melancholy that defined Rhaegar seemed to follow Daenerys, too. And this is why: the young girl in her wants too many different things. She’s impatient and selfish, wanting to take what is hers, to sail to Westeros and sit the Iron Throne. But the conquest makes her feel tired and weary; war does not sit with her. So she tries, many times through every book, for peace; but peace does not sit with her either. She cannot be happy. Unless something breaks; a piece of her gives up, making way for her other desires.

Betrayals

In every relationship she has, Daenerys is constantly searching for signs of betrayal. Since the House of the Undying, she knows she is destined for two more betrayals (under the assumption Mirri Maz Duur was the first), and when Ser Jorah’s treason was revealed at the end of A Storm of Swords, Daenerys starts to grow genuinely paranoid:

“What if Daario has betrayed me and gone over to my enemies?”

Other nights she tossed in her bed, imagining that he'd betrayed her, as he had once betrayed his fellow captains in the Stormcrows

Has Reznak made common cause with Hizdahr and the Green Grace and set some trap to snare me?

The Undying of Qarth had told her she would be thrice betrayed. Mirri Maz Duur had been the first, Ser Jorah the second. Would Reznak be the third? The Shavepate? Daario? Or will it be someone I would never suspect, Ser Barristan or Grey Worm or Missandei?

It gets to the point that all Daenerys can see is potential slights against her:

The tumblers who came next failed to move her either, even when they formed a human pyramid nine levels high, with a naked little girl on top. Is that meant to represent my pyramid? The queen wondered. Is the girl on top meant to be me?

Daenerys has been worried ever since Mirri Maz Duur “betrayed” her, and the Undying made it worse, but the precarious politics of Meereen serve to push Daenerys over the edge, where she has trouble trusting anything and starts to treat people in a way that would cause their betrayals.

Foreshadowing

Quaithe reappearing in Dany’s life instigates her obsession with prophecies and betrayals by giving her a new set of riddles:

“Hear me, Daenerys Targaryen. The glass candles are burning. Soon comes the pale mare, and after her the others. Kraken and dark flame, lion and griffin, the sun’s son and the mummer’s dragon. Trust none of them. Remember the Undying. Beware the perfumed seneschal.”

Through this series of metas, I’ve mostly focused on the foreshadowing that comes from Dany’s character development, and ignored breaking down some of the more blatant author attempts to clue in his audience. But A Dance with Dragons really pushes those elements into high gear, because Daenerys already has one set of prophecies, and then receives another quite early in the book and is left pondering what it means through all of her chapters.

And that’s actually very unique within A Song of Ice and Fire. While there is plenty of prophecies, they are almost never actually told to someone; the prophecy of Azor Ahai isn’t given to Stannis, he hears it and makes it his own, and the same thing occurred with Rhaegar and the Prince that was Promised. The only other character to actually be given a prophecy is Cersei (I’ll write more about that connection some other time . . .); so the choice to have Dany know that certain things will happen to her, and have her struggle to understand what it all means, is very interesting.

One thing I think people forget is that Dany’s interpretation of her prophecies is entirely fallible; just as Cersei is convinced Tyrion will be her valonqar, Daenerys interprets some of her prophecy wrong in an attempt to put it behind her; wanting to believe that Ser Jorah and Brown Ben Plumm are her second and third betrayals so she won’t have to fear anymore. But I’m very convinced Jorah is not Dany’s betrayal for gold; he himself says many times that he didn’t do it for money, and even Dany’s subconscious knows that (this excerpt is from her hallucinations on the Dothraki Sea):

"You betrayed me. You informed on me, for gold."

For home. Home was all I ever wanted.

I believe Dany still has two more major betrayals coming in The Winds of Winter or A Dream of Spring. I’m not sure of what her betrayal for gold will be (perhaps Euron, since there seems to be a connection drawn between her loves and betrayals?), but A Dance with Dragons offers many clues as to her betrayal for love, which I am convinced is Jon Snow. Starting in A Storm of Swords, Dany starts to notice that her dragons fight often amongst each other, mostly due to bullying by Drogon; considering Drogon has always been a stand-in for Daenerys herself, I don’t think it’s too much of a leap to assume this foreshadows how she will interact with the other two “heads of the dragon”, Jon likely being one.

A Dance with Dragons is also the book that changes how Dany will come to Westeros; before, she was very focused on how she would be received, worrying about bringing Dothraki and thinking that she wanted people to cheer her on. But the choice she makes in her last chapter means that can’t happen anymore. Not coincidentally, A Dance with Dragons is also the book that has a lot of imagery of Daenerys and wolves:

Dany would make a poor meal for a wolf or lion, but even a poor meal was better than none.

"The Lamb Men. Would that lambs had teeth."

"That would make the wolves more cautious, no doubt."

My flesh will feed the wolves and carrion crows, she thought sadly, and worms will burrow through my womb.

All of these examples are illusions to the Starks, but there is one particular instance that can only be Jon:

Off in the distance, a wolf howled. The sound made her feel sad and lonely, but no less hungry.

I tie this specifically to Jon because of the context in which it is said (these lines fall directly before the above quote):

Poison. It had to be poison. The honeyed locusts. Hizdahr urged them on me, but Belwas ate them all. She had made Hizdahr her king, taken him into her bed, opened the fighting pits for him, he had no reason to want her dead. Yet who else could it have been? Reznak, her perfumed seneschal? The Yunkai’i? The Sons of the Harpy?

Daenerys is contemplating the idea of her lover killing her, and then hears a wolf howl that makes her feel sad and lonely.

[makeste]

some asks about BnHA 241 and 240 and then some random other asks

I agree with this completely, anon (especially given his attitude throughout the rest of the chapter), but I didn’t edit my initial response since I think there’s a good likelihood that he still deadpanned the line despite being 100% sincere. one could say he was Accidentally Sarcastic. anyways yeah, Todoroki Shouto is a disaster more at 11. 

(but also, he’s totally right and Bakugou is in full-blown denial over their blossoming friendship. because he already decided that they’re Not Friends, and thus he has to actively work to maintain that status now. which Todoroki is making very difficult these days! can you fucking do your part to keep the fucking rivalry going, Icy-Hot?? can you at least try?? why does he have to do all the work. sometimes he forgets for a moment and Todo catches him off guard and he responds normally without thinking and doesn’t realize it until later, and god. why is everything and everyone so stupid.)

I have not forgotten (though I did mix up Pixie-Bob with Mandalay though woop)! and that annoyed me too. we only have like six female pros out there as it is. why do half of them (looking at you too, Midnight) have to be mildly sex-crazed. I know it’s not serious and they’re not actually being serious, but still, is it really asking so much to get some female pros whose eccentricities are less specifically tailored to common male fantasies. you’re a fucking hero Pixie-Bob! you’re a fucking earthbender and you’re hot as heck. why are you so worried about not being able to Get A Man. with Mt. Lady it at least fits more with her general personality from what we’ve seen, I guess. anyways, y’all know I love like 98% of this series, but this is part of the 2%, so. it is what it is.

Tomura is Endgame Thanos, a.k.a. the most sinister and most genuinely frightening of the Thanoses. this really isn’t on track to end well sob.

ah, my bad. (regardless, it was still dramatic af.)

I think she’s a six-year-old (?? she seems six-ish, idk) girl who was terrified of her father and trying to stay under his radar (which was frankly the smart thing to do based on what we’ve seen), and was trying to teach her younger brother how to do the same, and I don’t blame her at all for throwing Tenko under the bus (if that’s indeed what happened); I’m sure she just panicked and didn’t mean it. she’s just a kid. -- was just a kid. anyways she was super cute and would have made a fucking awesome hero, and her death is easily the one I’m still the most raw about out of that whole fucking nightmare. I’m not getting over that. I want her to still be alive; at one point I was convinced of a conspiracy theory that AFO had secretly spared her too (because two Shimura heirs to manipulate are better than one), and Tomura only believed that she was dead due to his fragmented memories. but that seems less likely post-chapter 236.

so yeah, I’m still very upset about this. she was good and kind and loved her brother and had a lot of spirit and she did not even remotely deserve what happened to her.

thank you so much!! one of the best parts of fandom is interacting with other people and reading everyone’s different takes and theories. lord knows I miss a lot of stuff when I read, even when I’m trying very hard to pay attention. so I love when other people point stuff out and bring up ideas I hadn’t thought about.

also! without exception, every single person I’ve ever interacted with in this fandom on tumblr has been polite and courteous and civil as fuck, even on the occasions when we disagree, and I absolutely can’t take credit for that. people are just cool. so thank you everyone. (and particular shoutout to @thequietmanno1, who for some reason I can’t tag, but whom this ask is almost certainly referring to specifically.)

lmao anon this made my fucking day. thank you!!

all right, here goes!

a) this is possible for sure in that as a rule, I never put anything past AFO, and I don’t doubt for a second he’d be capable of this. but, it would kind of suck though. specifically it would suck for Tomura, who’s only just starting to come into his own at long last, and who has gone through quite a lot to get to this point. like, that would be devastating to see him reduced to a literal puppet after all of that. and if it did happen, I don’t know what the odds would be of him actually being “saved” after that (All Might at least would try, but I can’t see anyone else being concerned enough to bother. well except for the rest of the League, come to think of it. that could be interesting), and I’d be really sad if that ended up being how he went out. these things usually don’t end up working out too well for the body snatchee.

plus, this also hinges on whether or not AFO is capable of transferring his quirk to Tomura’s body. if not, there’s no way he’d take the tradeoff, regardless of how powerful Tomura’s own quirk has become at this point. that would just be a really bad deal. like trading the cow for beans, except these ones aren’t even magic beans, just like. normal beans. but if he does have a way of transferring the AFO quirk, then yeah. although he could take anyone’s body then if that was the case, and I can think of a few targets who just might be even more tempting than his protege. All Might’s protege, for one. ...you know what, this line of thinking is starting to get a little too horrifying so let’s move on to the other theory lol.

(b) a few people have mentioned the Shimura Momo theory to me, but to be totally honest, I can’t see much of a logical basis for it other than them bearing a slight resemblance and having similar hairstyles. Inko has also been brought up as potentially being related to Nana for the same reasons. it’d be cool, no doubt, but for me, I need more evidence than just that. I just don’t see how this would advance the plot or the characters’ storylines in any meaningful way. I guess it could potentially tie Momo in more to the central plot, but it’d be kind of a weird way to do it, idk.

then again I’m one to talk, because until fairly recently I was on board with Hagakure of all people turning out to be a Shimura (Hana, to be specific). she’s the traitor, she’s invisible, we never did find out what Hana’s quirk was, and this would mean that Hana was still alive this whole time which would be GREAT, because seriously fuck you Horikoshi!! but yeah that doesn’t seem likely now either. dammit.

anyway, so I’ll just say that both of these theories are possible, but for me personally, in order to be sold on a specific theory I need to be able to see how it logically fits within the storyline and how it moves the story forward. like, Dabi being Todoroki Touya is something I’m 100% on board with, because that’s an established mystery in the series (who is Touya, what happened to him, who is Dabi, etc.), and Dabi fits into place with the evidence we have, and it gives us a lot of Todoroki drama and gives Endeavor and Shouto a personal connection to the Leagu... Pliff. but for something like the Momo theory, I would need there to be some indication that there’s a third sibling we don’t know about, and some hinting about there being more to Momo’s past than we know, and right now I don’t see either of those things, so it’s hard to get on board. hopefully that makes sense.

anon I really like that you phrased this as an inevitability lol. (and I am 100% on board.)

assuming this happens at the very end of the series, I like to think Tomura and the rest of his gang will manage to “escape” the heroes (“oh no... Tomura... he’s getting away... this is awful... somebody stop him” meanwhile no one is making even the slightest effort to move lol), at which point they will live the rest of their lives happily ever after as Lovable Outlaws and All-Around Scamps. like, maybe they’ll still commit some crimes, but they won’t be like serious crimes or anything. they’ll have more of a Guardians of the Galaxy vibe, maybe. I want them to be happy and I don’t want them to go to jail even though they’re teeeeeeeechnically murderers, I GUESS (look, nobody’s perfect!!). but maybe they steal the occasional priceless artifact and inadvertently wind up saving the world. seems like the best compromise.

lol I don’t know what this means either. like in the way a Youtuber has their own brand?? or like Frito-Lays. idk all I really do is talk a lot about an extremely popular manga, so I don’t think that’d really count?? I’m fine with this just being a little tumblr discussion blog haha.

so I’ve gotten like a half dozen asks and messages about this lol. (someone actually told me a very specific detail about said past! so just to remind everyone, I’m spoiler-free on Vigilantes right now guys, I’m sorry. I know it’s no fun.) I regret to admit that I still have not yet gotten around to it. I don’t know what it is, but I’m having a lot of trouble reading new stuff right now. I tried to start the other new BnHA spin-off which @temperatezone told me about (and btw no I did not know about it, so thank you!!) (and also! BnHA has THREE SEPARATE FUCKING SPIN-OFFS right now, how fucking crazy is that. like, I don’t want to accuse a manga series of literally trying to take over the world, but!! seriously that’s just insane), which has an amazing premise, but I haven’t had time/been in the right mindset to start that yet either. it sucks. I’m sorry. I’m working on it. ;;

press f to pay respects to what could have been, guys. they literally had it all. class, an ironic acronym, you name it. and now it’s just PLF. the Iron Patriot of villain organization names.

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

So. Homecoming. Holy fuck. It’s taken me this long to even start to get my thoughts together. Very spoilery post under the cut. Like, as much as I can possibly remember of the show spoilery. Also rambly. And long. Ridiculously long. So you’ve been warned.

Also disclaimer, this is just homecoming to the best of my recollection and it might not be 100% accurate. So first of all the setlist (this was everything they sang but the order of songs in act 2 is a bit hazy, I think it’s about half right. Also I don’t think hardly anyone at the show could tell you exactly because it was just so overwhelming). They did medleys for all the non-Potter shows in act 1 in reverse chronological order, act 2 they did full songs from all the Potter musicals.

Act 1 TGWDLM, Join Us And Die, Show Stoppin Number We Got Work To Do, Make The Most Of It Ani, With My Own Eyes, Back On Top Gone To Oregon, Naked In A Lake, Speedrun No One Remembers Achmed, A Thousand And One Nights, Happy Ending Holy Musical B@man, Rogues Are We, Superfriends Status Quo, Kick It Up A Notch, I Wanna Be Me And My Dick, Listen To Your Heart, Ready To Go Act 2 Going Back To Hogwarts Harry Freaking Potter To Have A Home Different As Can Be (and reprise) Coolest Girl Cho’s Song Hey Dragon Granger Danger Guys Like Potter Wizard Of The Year To Dance Again Sidekick Voldemort Is Going Down Everything Ends Not Alone Days Of Summer Not Alone (reprise)

Thursday 25th The more I think about it the more I realise I really had no idea what I was expecting from the show. We’d been planning before they even announced what it was to fly out for it, but we had very few details. I didn’t even know they had an orchestra until like two hours before. I’d barely been able to watch any of their rehearsal stories. But I don’t think I’d ever been more excited for anything in my life. I was super excited for AVPW but also, it was my first time seeing any of them, the whole thing felt like a dream, and I had no idea how much it was gonna mean to me so it didn’t even hit me properly until the last night. Whereas I already knew exactly how special this would be, it was entirely once in a lifetime and I was nearly shaking.

Outside the theatre I’ve said it before but genuinely my favourite place in the world to be is surrounded by Starkid fans. Seeing people in cosplay, in merch, talking about the same shows and people I love, I just get such a sense of ‘this is home’. There was the classic waiting-in-line going back to hogwarts singalong. And some la dee da da day thrown in for good measure. Liam was walking along the line filming and doing interviews for the bts. Tessa got out of a car right next to us, we saw Jade and Traci and their friend Bella. They’re all gorgeous it’s insane and unfair.

Inside the theatre Spent over $100 on merch but honestly could have spent so much more, really I showed a lot of self restraint. They didn’t have the programmes though which I’m still heartbroken over. Saw Denise Richter which I was maybe too excited about. Didn’t speak to her or anything but even just to see her she exudes kindness she’s the best. Then we were hanging out in the lobby and Tessa was talking to everyone and hugging them and taking selfies and jumping in people’s group pics and I love her. Like she made my night even without me talking to her because she was SO sweet to everyone she spoke to and I was stood there falling in love with her by the second. Also, let’s talk about how cool the venue was? It looked unbelievable and they had a bunch of posters up with AVPM quotes. And the stage? Y’all have seen by now but they made it look like an actual homecoming dance and it was amazing. Considering how far back our seats were it was actually a very good view, it helped that I had an aisle seat so had a clear view of the entire stage. I’ve posted the pre-show playlist here, it was perfect, especially the JATP like, hell yeah to celebrating all their various projects. At this point I literally thought I was gonna die of excitement. AJ and Clark came on stage and as much as I was having great fun freaking out with the groupchat about how soon the show was I couldn’t wait to put my phone away cause that meant the show was starting. And then the lights went down.

Darren Very pleased to say it was not the Darren show, even though he did give the opening and closing speech. And as much as I have opinions about him, when he walked out for the first time it was a pretty special moment because it’s like, this is it this is really happening. The amount of energy in that room when he came on stage my god. You would not have believed there were only 1600 people there. The whole show people could barely get a sentence out without cheering, which in hindsight was probably annoying but it just shows how incredibly loved they are, and we were as grateful to them as they were to us. I loved the atmosphere in both shows, it was completely different both times and I’ll obviously get to the Friday night show, but there was something special about being in a room of majority backers, all of us seeing these show for the very first time, it was totally new. Again, literally no idea what to expect and it was the most exhilarating feeling. Darren did a little ‘look for your exits pretend we’re at Disney’ which was cute after being at Disney for two days beforehand. Classic starkid fashion, he told us they had no idea how long the show would run for. He made a G.L.E.E. joke so it’s nice to know he’s still on our side at the end of the day. I don’t know if it was him that talked about Starkid performing with a 13 piece orchestra for the first time, but I’m gonna bring it up here anyway. I’m so grateful they were overfunded and that they were able to have the orchestra, because it’s probably something they really wanted and it’s also something they 100% deserve. I’d sell my soul to hear every starkid song with that orchestra, it was magnificent. I really hope we do get an album because it all sounded SO GOOD. Unsurprisingly don’t remember much else of what Darren said because I was just so excited for the show to start.

TGWDLM medley  So as soon as the opening started playing even as Darren was still introducing people went insane, literally within two seconds I knew undoubtedly that this was gonna be the best two hours of my life (also the fastest. Often watching theatre shows I lose attention a little bit but there wasn’t a single second of this show that I wasn’t 100% in the moment they’re completely captivating, and it went by way too fast). Oh wow this is where we got to see Joey and Lauren for the first time. Fuck. I cannot describe to you how good they looked. Pictures do not do it justice. Thank god the mustache was gone. Thank god Lauren didn’t wear the boots. She was wearing my favourite hairstyle. Joey’s hair looked great. Their outfits were incredible. They literally could not have been more perfect looks for me and I’m so grateful. I could have cried happy tears at seeing them. This in itself could go on for five pages so I’ll leave it there. They all did the whole iconic zombie pose entrance. Corey sang Joey’s astronomical line which was kinda a shame cause I love the way he sings that line however I’m glad they did it like that cause Joey got to sing a lot in the show (still not enough for my liking but then again my liking is Joey and Lauren singing the whole show so I’m good). Wish they did Lauren’s ‘pines after a cute lil barista’ bit. Also kinda wish they did inevitable so Jon could sing because I love him and he deserves better @ starkid when are you going to hire me. However they made up for that when Jaime went ‘it is time’ and the room was absolutely electric because everyone knew exactly what was coming. That note had me shook from the moment I heard it on the digital ticket and I feel honoured to have heard it in person. Jeff was still her hype man. Jaime’s voice is honestly out of this world, she’s the person I’d most heard sing live but it was still mind blowing. She’s incredible I love her so much. Then Robert came on stage so like, room exploded again. Joey and Lauren should have been on stage doing their bit for show stopping number but again, what do I know? This song was 100% pandering but as much as it’s overhyped it is a good song and Robert fucking killed it, he actually impresses me so much. His voice? He did the hip wiggles, maybe even more than were in the show, and people went absolutely wild for it. He did the working boys bit and of course everyone lost their minds. And I loved it, I loved that atmosphere of everyone being entirely obsessed with every tiny thing these people do because that’s what connects us all. Jon did get to be a working boy (as did Mariah) and sounded great. They actually sang so much of this song holy shit definitely pandering. But they really were giving Hamilton some competition.

Firebringer medley Lauren Walker introduced this one, do I remember what she said? No, I was too busy wondering if they were going to sing Climate Change. They didn’t. You sang three songs from every other show but two from firebringer and one of them wasn’t climate change? Okay sure. This sounds like I’m complaining I’m not this section was still gorgeous and I loved every second of it. Hearing music from firebringer was amazing because it has some of my favourite music from all the starkid shows, and also because apart from TGWDLM which was so recent it’s the only show we hadn’t heard anything from since. They sang we got work to do which again, pandering and not even to what most people actually wanted if we’re being honest. But I’m happy about it because hearing Lauren sing that first line was a spiritual experience. Her voice? No words. So good. Can’t believe I got to hear it live? Properly?!? Also Joey got to be in this bless his heart and I couldn’t stop watching him doing the choreography. Lauren’s little expressions throughout the whole thing are adorable god I love her. Meredith sounded so good. Rachael got so much of a cheer when she sang her bit. Joey comforted Joe after the shadow bit. Then they sang from the proposal bit of the finale. Brian was pretending to be jealous when Meredith was singing to Lauren which made my life, p.s. Joey step up your game. The first time hearing Lauren sing ‘this is the dawn’ literally took my breath away. And with that orchestra!? (Will I ever shut up about the orchestra? The answer is no). The CHEERS for ‘we are womankind’. Hell yeah. And then Lauren did the arm thing like way to literally flex on us Lo. Not okay. They did the little Molag dialogue bit and Denise did the being-blessed-with-knowledge face. Watching Denise off to the side was honestly one of the highlights of the whole show. 

TTO medley

Now I’m questioning my memory but I think Jaime went offstage after Firebringer when she wasn’t supposed to because I’m sure I remember her not being on stage for this at first. Like everyone else was there and there was a moment where I was like ‘I feel like someone’s missing...’ and then Jaime walked on late. She did mention Julia having to remind her of her cues. Anyway. Gone to oregon was first and I was reminded what an actually good performer Jeff is. He’s great in that show. Corey got the cheers he deserved at his ‘wisconsin’ bit. Lauren singing Naked in a lake was beautiful. Even if not enough people sang with her when she asked for help (spoiler, we stepped up Friday). She was definitely trying to get us to sing the high bits cause her voice was tired and she didn’t want to but that’s fine. This was one of the songs from that show I really wanted them to sing and I’m glad they did, it’s so much fun. Also Lauren does kinda steal the show but watching everyone else in this song is great. Shoutout to the sax guy, I’m glad we as a fandom always appreciate the band/orchestra. I still can’t believe everyone just lets Lauren sing a whole song about skinny dipping but I’m here for it. Then they did speedrun which was. An experience. Still think Joey should have sung wagon on fire but would I have passed out most likely yes so maybe it was better off this way. I’m glad Rachael got a moment. The ‘faster’ bit was fucking insane I don’t know how they had the breath for it. Everyone clapped pace and I’m pretty sure we clapped faster than the song ever goes so, sorry guys that you had to go through that? I think I have a newfound appreciation for this song. It was either in this or possibly in Naked in a lake that Joey did something stupid and Lo looked at him and shook her head. There were a lot of little looks throughout the show and trying to catch each other’s eye across the stage and it was very cute and probably won’t make the cut even though it should it’s the best part of the show.

Ani medley Moses introduced it and he was wearing like the jacket that’s one of his costumes and he wore in the final SK10 livestream idk you guys I’ve seen that show twice. The Ani band is fucking great, they had Mark, Nick Gage (?? idk there was definitely a fourth person I was mostly watching Meredith let’s be real here), Clark and Meredith all sing. Meredith had the biggest smile on her face at all times it was a joy. Ani is such a fun song so many starkid songs are so fun. Also they added a key change (was it even a key change? I’ve never studied music whatever they did it sounded good.) Actually the whole arrangement of this medley I loved, I hope it makes the people who don’t appreciate the music in this show appreciate it. With my own eyes is my favourite song in that show and I’m very happy they did it. They should have had Denise do her choreo when they did Back on top tbh. I love Meredith in this song though.

Twisted medley Joe came out to introduce it but kept hyping everyone up about Ani first. I really miss Joe he has so much onstage energy. I knew they were doing No one remembers achmed but I was still so excited about it. It’s such a good song. And the whole ‘you ooze sex’ bit in the flesh? That’s all. Obviously the best part was everyone yelling tigerfucker. Experiencing that in person is unbeatable. Then they had Britney and Carlos sing their version of 1001 nights and it was beautiful, I very rarely listen to that version of the song but I should, Britney is unbelievable and I love her so much. I can’t believe she’d just flown in and had such a rough time right before the show, you wouldn’t have known it. Dylan walked out and I kinda thought they were gonna have him and Meredith do a quartet (starkid when are you gonna hire me??) but then he sang ‘and with my wife beside me’ and I was like :’) this is good. That part of the song always gets me and Dylan’s voice is a goddamn gift. I love the overlapping parts at the end of Happy ending too so it’s always a good choice. But why they didn’t sing dream a little harder when Alex was right there I do not know. 

HMB medley Pretty sure they had Julia introduce it? Guys it’s been a week gimme a break. Either way she definitely introduced something at some point and I���m glad everyone cheered so much for her because she was the glue of Starkid for a while. Nick Gage sang HMB and they had a reverb (again, is that the right term? not a clue) and he looked so pleased with himself every time we laughed. Then they sang rogues are we (rogues medley would have been better but in fairness that would have ruined the whole thing they had going). I do love Lauren singing we are the harlots and the hussies. A lot. But Denise does it so well. And Jaime’s ‘we’re rising up from the underground’?? I don’t think I have a single thing to say about any of the men in this song and I’m not sorry. Superfriends sounded very cool. It doesn’t matter how many times I see it, I always love the matching tattoos bit, and seeing Meredith’s story afterwards about how she was directing hers at Jade made it even better. I don’t even remember who sang Robin’s lines because I was too busy watching Lauren do the dance, she’s adorable. It was funny watching like five of them doing it cause they were the only ones who had learned it before and the rest not knowing it. Also, I don’t know which makes me happier, when they point into the audience for ‘I wanna be your friend forever’, or when they point at each other. Both are good.

Starship medley Denise introduced the show and um hi I love Denise she’s so cute. She said the thing about her mom calling Starship a show for dreamers and I still think that’s the most adorable thing. I will say for the rest of time that having Alex and Mariah sing Status quo was a weird choice. Also made me pissed that basically no one cheered for Alex but of course everyone went fucking crazy for Mariah. Not even that Mariah didn’t deserve it, but she didn’t deserve it more than Alex. Just saying. It did sound very good with the orchestra and they both have good voices, but I still think we deserved it sounding good with JOEY and the orchestra. I would have died to hear Joey sing that song. Moving on though. Kick it up a notch is always better in rogues medley but I do adore the Jim Brian and Jaime trio anyway. And it’s SUCH a good song. Then they sang I wanna be which I was psyched about I love that song (it was straight from Brant’s verse though like hello what happened to Joey rights). Hearing the older songs makes me wish so much they’d remount them because they all sound so good now it would be amazing. Joey’s voice is legitimately a blessing from the gods. 

MAMD medley Brian introduced the show and walked away from the mic before he said dick, which was funny but also reminded me of how they said this would be the most PG show starkid had done which is laughable. Joey did a whole bit in the beginning that reminded me a lot of his jekyll and hyde performance in shitty broadway. I love that man. Again, we deserve a remount of this show if only for Joey’s voice. Then we have maybe the most iconic moment of the thursday show which is when Joe had way too much excitement for his entrance, fucking sprinted on stage, knocked over the mic stand and had to rescue it, spraining his ankle in the process. And recovered BADLY, he was trying to figure out what to say to pull it back and Joey basically had to tell him to just sing already. I feel a little guilty now because it looked pretty bad, but it was really fucking funny. And then the cheer at the head tilt, why do we all love it so much??!? Then Joey sang Listen to your heart with AJ (him and Brian are a better duo fight me). I loved their little added dialogue, with Joey being like ‘do I smell?’ and AJ being like ‘so bad’. I always always love the little dance break Joey is the sweetest boy. I think I remember something like ‘am I doing it?’ ‘not even close Joey’. Then Alle Faye and Ali came out for ready to go and it went from their bit. It was really nice seeing them back together again. It wasn’t like nearly ten years had gone by at all. God it’s weird how nostalgic I was/am for something I wasn’t even there for. The ‘we’re finally ready’ bit sounded so gorgeous with the orchestra, I had it stuck in my head for days. They slowed it down, and we had everyone on stage, and it was just beautiful. The perfect way to end the act, which was over way too soon, and I was already feeling sad about the show nearly being over even though there was so much good to come. Wait how could I forget to mention the ‘my hormones are freaking out’ bit. Fuck all of them for that. Even if I pretty much just watched Lauren with a quick glance at Joey, which is an accurate description of what I did for a lot of the show.

Intermission First quick thing to say, as much as I wish we’d heard some more full songs from the non-Potter shows, I think I like that they kept it separate. The first half was celebrating everything they achieved since where it all started for them, and the second half was pure nostalgia. And even though I wish it wasn’t the case, more people know the potter shows so it was kinda nice that everyone was even more united than they had been for the first half. Secondly, what I should have done during intermission was used the time to recover, because the show was a whole lot of excitement and emotions and I knew it was only going to get worse in the second half. But instead I yelled to the groupchat and met @starkidmelly. More JATP was played, everyone was buzzing, I couldn’t believe I was there. I think it was a long intermission but it did not feel it, Nick came out on stage and it’s like oh shit here we go again.

Nick’s speech He worried me because he said he wanted to take a minute to get sentimental, and I’d already cried a couple of times it was too early in the show to do it again. But then he just talked about the movie Starkid and how it was a bad movie and made us all laugh which I appreciated. What I really did love was how much people cheered for him when he came out, and also for Matt in the audience when Nick shouted him out. Especially on that first night the happiness on Nick’s face at everyone cheering made me want to cry it was so special and he deserves every bit of it and you could tell it still comes as a surprise even now. Also I’ll tag it on now because I don’t remember exactly at what point it was, but at some point in the second act Corey was telling people to stop filming, which kinda made me mad cause they’d asked people not to film and he looked so mad, but was also kinda funny because like, it’s one thing being stopped from filming by an usher but it’s a whole other thing being stopped by Corey Lubowich himself. I probably would have volunteered to leave the theatre if I disappointed Corey like that tbh. But anyway back to Nick, he introduced GBTH with the original cast of AVPM and everyone fucking lost it.

GBTH So you already know what you’re about to be blessed with and then you hear that opening note and people are impossibly screaming even louder and Darren comes onstage and crouches down and it’s like nothing has really changed at all. I’ve been in a room of people singing this song before and it was magical, but this was even more people and even more special. This is where it all started, and there we were ten years later. And it was so surreal actually hearing them sing this in person. Darren put the glasses on and people went insane. The amount of anticipation I felt for Joey’s entrance was ridiculous, and he got the cheers he deserved (almost. he always deserves more). And no matter how many times we see it or how long it’s been it always makes me feel a lot of feelings seeing Darren and Joey on stage singing this together. Joey messed up the floo powder a bit and it was cute. Still iconic. It was deafening when Bonnie came out, which I guess was to be expected we haven’t seen her in nine years. I will say that she did look genuinely happy to be there, and they looked genuinely happy to have her there. Plus the line ‘why do you have to be such a buzzkill’ was so much more funny with the irony of her pretty much bringing the house down. The nostalgia factor ramped up even more here and it was pretty awesome to have that original trio back on stage after so long. Again, so much but simultaneously so little had changed in ten years and trying to articulate those feelings would require a hundred page essay. I didn’t expect them to change the original but I still think they should have kept Lauren’s altered ‘that would be cool’ line. It’s better. But I digress. Jaime got to do her bit and it was a masterpiece. But rest in peace to the whole Cho Chang and Cedric bit, you were deeply missed. Lauren’s entrance, do I even need to say more? Fucking iconic as ever. One of the best moments in all of history. I’m glad they kept in most of the dialogue-y bits although I do not remember what her accent was like. People delivered on ‘whatever I say’ and I love how that’s become our thing. The train bit always makes me emotional, even more so this time with so many people old and new onstage. I always think of Lauren saying she hates the train move but she should have told her face that. Dylan did his entrance from the back of the theatre aka right by us and it was magnificent, he held the note all the way down to the front. They added in the lines about sorting here so Tyler got to do ‘hufflepuffs are particularly good finders’ which was a good choice they did good on that one, Dylan’s ‘what the hell is a hufflepuff’ was drowned out by people still cheering for Tyler, it was a pretty great moment. I may have cried a bit at ‘it’s all that I love and it’s all that I need’. Just a bit. I loved so much that they got everyone to be a part of this song.

Harry Freaking Potter Have I lost all my memories of this song? Maybe. I remember it being amazing. Predictably I watched Lauren a lot, it’s very hard not to she’s so cute when she’s dancing. It’s funny to me how they hold out the mics for the last ‘harry freaking potter’ but most people are already cheering so they get nothing. They should have learned by now.

To Have A Home Was possibly next? I know I got teary again pretty early on in the act (saved the full crying at this song for Friday though stay tuned). I know I’m very far from being the only person who felt the most at home I’ve ever felt. How can you not, surrounded by so much support and mutual love for these incredible people who’ve done so much for us. Starkid is a huge family and it’s tangible in moments like that. And ‘to know this is real’ hits hard. Especially because you can really feel it from Darren, as famous as he is now being on stage with his friends is truly home.

Different As Can Be There’s just something about this song that brings so much energy and Joe and Brian are an iconic duo. And they brought the Quirrelmort vibes strong. Loved everyone shouting ‘prevails’. I’m super glad they did the reprise too. The reaction when they go back to back is incredible. Also, Joe’s ‘Quirrell’ was impeccable. 

Coolest Girl I will say to Bonnie’s credit that she did a very good job opening this song, considering how many people were there and how much pressure there must have been seeing as she’s suddenly making a reappearance after so many years. And she did get a lot of love for it. But Meredith coming out to duet with her actually made me cry, she looked so happy and they did a cute little ‘hi’ and I really truly consider this Meredith’s song, even if she didn’t originally sing it, so I’m glad she got to do it. It was a special moment having them sing it together with no resentment or jealousy. And then Meredith confirmed that Bonnie was pregnant again at the end of the song.

Cho Chang Of course Darren sang this. Of course. What would a starkid show be without Darren playing his dumb songs on guitar. But nothing beats a room full of people shout-singing ‘that’s in canada’ (side note, why did this stick so much? every time I saw it on the map when I flew to Canada it’s all I could think of). But also, idk why Darren introduced this song by saying he wanted to test if we knew the words like buddy pretty sure we know the words to your songs better than you do but sure.

Hey Dragon More of Darren playing dumb songs on guitar but this is also a pretty fun song so we’re letting it slide. Also he did say that he didn’t want to do this song and said they should cut it to make time for better songs but that everyone else made him do it, which does not surprise me. He obviously had to call out his own songwriting abilities from ten years ago, it makes me laugh every time he does it but this time he really came for himself with how bad the rhyming was and how the lyrics are dumb. I love that he can’t get through the song without laughing because it is pretty stupid but we love it anyway. They trusted us on the ‘la la la’s and I think we came through. 

Granger Danger Okay. OKAY. So after all that Darren was like ‘let’s take it to a school dance’ which did not register for me at all because that song has gone way beyond that and now it’s just Joey and Lauren’s song. But then Darren’s playing it (which I found ??? sweet?? for some reason? idk it was good) and Joey and Lauren are on stage and I’m like here we fucking go. This is what I’m here for. Cannot begin to describe how happy I was to hear this song. I literally had said I refused to die before I heard them sing this live and now it will forever be one of the highlights of my life. The amount of power on that stage. Also the amount of attractiveness. They honestly are a power couple. The most iconic duo singing one of the most iconic songs. Their stage presence just blows me away. And it always makes me feel things too because they’ve done this song so many times and when they were first performing it they had no idea where they’d end up and now they’re fucking living the dream together and I can’t believe how far they’ve come. This is a hole we don’t need to go down though. It absolutely is a crime that they haven’t had more songs together but it does make this one particularly special because it’s fucking THEIR song and there’s no doubt they love performing together and their chemistry is so good anyway anyway I swear I’ll get back on track. This song with the orchestra??!? Holy shit you guys it sounded so good. They managed to take a song I love with every inch of me and make me love it even more. They came out and did a handshake because they’re fucking dorks. My heart genuinely felt like it was about to pump out of my chest, the adrenaline rush from seeing this live was crazy it’s a fucking experience. Joey was remarkably in character when it got to Lauren’s bit but she could not be in character for the life of her when he was singing my god she just did not give a fuck. Her heart eyes were off the charts I swear to god I couldn’t believe that dumb girl. Also Lauren was practically making love to her mic stand half the song which was honestly unnecessary but I love her. And her looking at her crotch murdered me. And then Joey was looking at her for most of the ending and she didn’t look at him once so she sucks. As always the last note was heavenly. When do we get a two hour concert version of this song??

Guys Like Potter Maybe came next? I love the apocalyptour arrangement of this song but it was nice to throw it back to the original and Tyler’s great. Joe tried? We’ll leave it at that.

Wizard Of The Year I think this followed after purely because of AJ saying something like ‘that’s enough about that Potter boy’?? And then he only went and did the whole fucking mouse monologue. And the entire time I was sat there having an internal conflict between ‘this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed’ and ‘they could have used this time to do climate change’. Honestly hearing him pull that out was wild. But then he sang the song and some of the girls came out to do the ‘gilderoy’ bit (which was the best part duh).

To Dance Again The beginning of this song is always iconic. Most important thing to say here is how I’m even more impressed now with Joe’s dancing after seeing what his ankle looked like. Also, hearing all the tapping (thudding) from the audience brings me inexplicable joy. Lauren ran on stage before her cue when Darren came off and had to book it back off and I feel a bit bad immortalising it because I’m sure she’s glad they weren’t filming that night. While we’re on the subject, the Thursday show was a little messy but like, there were no HUGE fuck ups apart from maybe Joe’s in MAMD and it was all surprisingly well rehearsed considering they’d had barely two days of rehearsal and they’re all so so impressive. Still think they should have had a 40 person kickline but the three person Joe Darren and Brosenthal kickline was still pretty good. Also, I remember someone doing a very cool harmony? It maybe sounded like Holden? His voice is underrated. 

Sidekick I cannot remember for the life of me if this is actually where this song goes?? I don’t remember if Joey went offstage or not. I just know that he ended up alone on stage and I damn near lost my mind. I know I’ve said it before but Joey’s performance of sidekick genuinely is a show stealer and I never in a million years thought I’d get to see it live so I feel extremely privileged that I did. God bless whoever included this in the setlist you have my eternal thanks. It’s what Joey deserves (and what I deserve). His voice!?! The high notes?!? Still love the irony of Joey singing this song. Classic cheering at ‘am I the hottest’ because yes you fucking are. He messed up a bit and sang ‘am I the one who takes you home’ twice but we love him. He absolutely killed it and being reminded that they’d not long got back from SDCC and finding out he had a fever made me even more impressed because you literally wouldn’t have known it.

Voldemort Is Going Down More on Joey continuing to kill it (but maybe not in this order). It was good to hear this song again, it slaps. And they all sounded so good too. And there was a super cool little piano riff at one point. This song makes everyone so hype I love it so much.

Everything Ends Haha tear time (jk just about managed to save them for Friday). But it is very much when things get sad because you can feel that the show’s coming to a close. This was Robert’s duet with a person he’d never sung with before and it sounded beautiful. We got the return of Joe’s snape voice or am I imagining that? I don’t remember what he said but I’m sure he said something and it probably made me sad. Literally the whole end of the show is just a blur because I couldn’t believe it was almost over so quickly.

Not Alone Jaime. Just, Jaime. Incredible every time she sings this song. Also, so many AVPW feelings because this is what they came out and sang and this song has been extra special to me since. So I was in tears from the get go tbh. God I’m really really really missing AVPW today so this is a lot just thinking about it. And personal feelings about Bonnie and also how much I love newer arrangements of not alone aside, it was unimaginably special to see the original four singing this together again. 

Days Of Summer We knew they’d save this to the end (or at least so we thought) but it was still a bit of an asshole move ngl. Like, do you enjoy our suffering? Seeing everyone on stage together singing this song that’s at the heart of starkid, if there was anyone who didn’t cry I applaud them. Darren gave a closing speech where he didn’t thank half the people he needed to because he hadn’t rehearsed. I wish I remembered more of what he said because it wasn’t exactly the same as Friday, it also didn’t make me cry half as much which I guess was a bonus. They did the little going back to hogwarts reprise probably partly to make us all feel a bit better and got everyone on their feet for it and as much as I never know which house to say I still love that moment of everyone yelling their house. Then they had “curtain call”, except they faked us out because Brian stayed on stage with his fist in the air and I’m like okay what are these idiots up to now. And Nick came out to tell him they sang all the songs and Voldemort’s dead, which of course meant ‘dead?! *skips stone*’ and we all needed that laugh. And then Joe came out and they did the ‘okay is good’ bit so I was sad again and god they really messed with our emotions. And everyone came back out and did the not alone reprise and literally stomped all over my heart because ten years ago they did the exact same thing, except now they were on a bigger stage with a bigger audience and a bigger family and they’ve all grown so much and achieved so many amazing things in their careers and their personal lives and they’ve grown up a lot but they’re still these college kids at heart who love performing with their friends and making people laugh and I didn’t want to leave my seat after they all walked offstage because it really felt like my soul had left my body and I was just completely emotionally drained. And unbelievably happy that I was getting to experience it all again the next day.

Friday 26th The one thing I have to say about the line this time round is shoutout to the kid handing out red vines, I don’t know how many people actually wanted one but it made me smile. As we were waiting in the lobby we saw Denise x2 (Joey’s mom still looked like the embodiment of kindness and Denise always seems so happy to be there I love them both).

Anyway when we got to our seats I just sat down and was internally screaming because we were So Close to the stage and I was like how on earth am I going to survive seeing this much beauty. Also I knew that some people had different outfits and I was trying to figure out if Lauren and Joey were wearing the same thing cause that was the most important thing so it was an anxious wait. Then when they came out being that close to the crop top nearly killed me and Joey looked even hotter in that red shirt than he did on Thursday so like, I want that image tattooed on my eyelids.

Oh and we saw MK, Sean, Sarah and Whitney up in the balcony before the show started. This is how the conversation went down... Sophie: is that MK up there? Me: I think so, that looks like Sean Sophie: it doesn’t look like Sean? (spoiler alert, it was Sean)

Also to quickly go back to the live atmosphere, Friday night was INSANE oh my god. Whether it was that it was the last show or whether it was being closer to the stage but the room was absolutely electric, it seemed like so many more people - including me this time - were singing and fucking reciting all the lines like it makes me so happy that we’re all fucking nerds who love these other nerds to death and memorise all their shows. As was my plan, the first night I took everything in and then the second night I just got to enjoy it and make the most of it. So the Thursday show it was kind of like I was observing everything but Friday I was LIVING it, and I really was living. It was a fucking party. And I could anticipate what was coming and it somehow made it even more exciting than witnessing everything fresh for the first time. I was literally sat there having the time of my life for two hours and I hope they all saw it, they would have just seen me with a huge fucking grin the whole time (apart from when I was crying we’re not talking about that rn). Maybe the most fun I’ve ever had. It made all the money I’d spent to get there 10000% worth it because as amazing as the DVD is going to be and you bet I’m getting it (well the digital download shipping’s an outrage), you can’t buy the atmosphere in the room and it was incredible to be there.

Okay y’all know the drill now so this is gonna be quickfire:

Act 1

Seeing everyone doing their crazy eyes in TGWDLM up close was an EXPERIENCE. Jon was a stand out. Also Jaime. Being so much closer the energy was so much higher for Join us and die. I think that was really my main thing about Friday, aside from how emotions were even higher, was how crazy the energy was it was SO MUCH FUN. And Robert is pretty great.

Have I mentioned Lauren’s look nearly killing me? Yes? Good. The gay came out full force in Firebringer. Lo’s talent is out of this world and I feel so lucky to have witnessed it live.

So many more people sang for Lauren in Naked in a lake and she looked so happy my baby. I made eye contact with her at one of the points she was holding the out mic for the audience to sing so I’m glad she saw me (quietly but extremely enthusiastically) singing my heart out for her. Joey made Lauren laugh when they were dancing during speedrun and it’s the most adorable shit I’ve ever seen. Those two are genuinely in their own world half the time they’re on stage together and I live for it.

Carlos wasn’t there this night so I think Dylan should have filled in for his verse of 1001 nights but my ideas are worthless right? Oh have I mentioned how much I live for over a thousand people yelling tigerfucker? And Robert smashed ‘he fucked a tiger’. Also I’m sure they did it the first night too but I noticed even more Denise and Meredith encouraging everyone to cheer when Joe was doing the dialogue bit I adore them.

Brant got so out of time on I wanna be my god Joey looked like he was trying to telepathically tell him to slow down but he never really recovered. But the chaotic energy felt appropriate? It’s not a starkid show without a mess up.

Joe’s MAMD entrance was more controlled this time but honestly it’s a shame the fuck up won’t be on the filmed version because it was definitely a highlight (I hope you’re okay Joe). Mere and Brian had their arms round each other when they were singing ready to go and I was hit with the ‘oh my god they’re getting MARRIED’ feels. Look how far they’ve come. They were also making faces at each other during one song, I don’t remember which one, and giving Joey and Lauren a run for their money for being in their own world. Still not nearly as bad though.

Intermission 

I remember even less of this intermission than the first one. I was just in total shock. Also when we came back from the intermission Nick went ‘two people just got engaged’ and almost literally stopped my heart like I KNOW that’s not how it’s gonna happen but where did he expect me to go with it. And then he wanted to be reminded of their names but someone shouted ‘Joe and Traci’ so he had to be like ‘no I’m not talking about them’ which made me laugh a lot.

Act 2

GBTH was somehow even better this time round. It’s actually a spiritual experience. 100% my happy place. Also Joey didn’t have the headband the first night and I didn’t know I needed it until he came out wearing one on Friday, it was weirdly emotional.

To have a home was worse this time around because I had to come to the realisation that I was gonna leave this home behind. That’s always the worst part, it was the same with AVPW, it’s not just that I miss it it’s also that it’s this happy, safe little bubble where everything feels okay and it’s so sad to lose that. So yeah, cried a lot this time. Also Darren went offstage on Thursday too in the instrumental but this time he went offstage and ran round to the other side to come back on which was so much better good job Darren.

When Lo and Joey shook hands for granger danger they both had such cute smiles my HEART. Lauren still had heart eyes for Joey singing, she was just stood there grinning at him the whole time she loves him so much jesus christ. Also she was staring at him when they were both singing the ‘falling in love’ bit just saying. And they got super close to each other for the end but kept alternating looking at the other person and the audience so they were never actually looking at each other and it KILLED me I hate them. I also didn’t even think twice about singing Lauren’s part during granger danger until halfway through oops and now I kind of want to apologise, Mr Joey Richter I love you.

You could tell there were a fair few people in the audience who’d seen one or both of the other shows and knew what was coming so actually shouted out ‘what’s your fantasy’ when AJ was working up to the mouse monologue which made it even better. It was just as insane and funny the second time, but I still couldn’t believe they actually put it in there.

Back to Mr Joey Richter, he brought the house down with sidekick even more than on Thursday. He’s so talented y’all. You’d expect more cheering for ‘am I the one who takes you home’ but the urge for everyone to yell ‘definitely not’ is too much and it cracks me up. And he pointed at the very least in my direction when he sang the last ‘I love being at your side’ so I’ll take it for SURE.

They got everyone standing even earlier on in the show (during voldemort is going down) and I just felt a sense of elation, the whole show but at this point in particular, because everyone was there having a fucking amazing time and pouring out so much love, from our direction and from theirs, and I feel like that song really does do what it’s supposed to and make us feel united.

Everything ends made me cry a lot because it actually was the end this time, and starkid have some fucking heart wrenching goodbye songs that are supposed to make you feel better but really don’t at all. Not alone made me cry more, obviously. Days of summer was so much worse because it really was goodbye, me having to say goodbye to seeing them and one of the best experiences of my life, them having to say goodbye to each other. SO. MANY. TEARS.

Random point, Lauren looked so fucking cute when she came out in her varsity jacket with the sleeves pushed up because it was too big for her I just wanted to hug her.

Joey and Lauren kept looking at each other during Darren’s speech, Joey in particular kept trying to catch Lo’s eye which killed me he’s too soft. And Lauren pulled a face at the mention of a twenty year reunion like she felt way too old for that and he was smiling at her I hate them. 

There were a lot of tears, Joey and Tiffany especially and Lauren pulled her trying not to cry face. In the speech Darren said something about starkid bringing about this group of friends and Joey’s wide eyed already-crying-but-trying-not-to-cry-even-more-face was both heartbreaking and funny and I hope it makes it onto the DVD. I don’t remember much else of the speech other than that it was incredibly emotional and it very well summed up a lot of what we were all feeling about the show and how special starkid was. Also I made eye contact with Joey when we were both crying and we smiled at each other (tried to) and honestly that was a bonding moment for us.

And we saw Bob and Denise on our way out which caused a whole lot more feelings because those are their kids up there performing with all their other honorary kids and yep we’re done here.

I don’t really know how to bring this all to a neat end. I don’t really think there is one. It’s an experience that can’t fully be put into words, the emotions it brought up aren’t ones that I can properly label, and it’s going to stick with me forever. But it was a reminder of how special starkid is. Watching their shows at home, scrolling through their social media, of course it brings me so much joy it’s my reason for living. But getting to see them live and feel the impact they’ve had on so many people? Getting to do it with a friend I made because of them? I just wish I had the words or the time to give them the thanks I wish I could. I really hope they felt the sheer, deep love we all feel for them over those two days.

Anyway, I know this was way too long and half of it wasn’t information people care about but I’m done now. And I’m so excited for the DVD and (hopefully) album so I can experience it all again!

[knowyourincantations]

Boredom in Potions

For Sapphic September 2019 Day 5: “Please”  from @rockmarina​‘s prompt list.

Teen | 1,635 words | EWE, Eighth Year, Potions Class, Teasing, Pre-Relationship, A character is outed

(AO3 | My other Sapphic September 2019 works: AO3 | Tumblr)

Boredom in Potions

Parvati was carefully lowering the heat under her cauldron in small increments when a commotion across the room caught her attention. She only looked away for a moment, just long enough to see it was Pansy and Daphne causing a fuss.

That moment was all it took. When she turned back to her potion it had turned the colour of sour milk, and smelled even worse. With Slughorn snoring at his desk, and Hermione getting touchier and touchier about helping other people the closer they got to the N.E.W.T.s, she sighed in defeat and vanished the ruined potion.

With nothing left to do, she sat on her stool and rested her elbow on the desk. She propped her chin on her palm, turning her attention across the room to where Pansy and Daphne were still bickering. If she had to be stuck there until the end of class with nothing to do, at least there was entertainment.

It wasn’t often the Slytherins fought amongst themselves, but it was always amusing when they did. The only time they dropped their dignified airs was when they fought. Not right away, they usually managed to still look dignified at the beginning at least, stony voices and small gestures, but it seemed Pansy and Daphne had moved beyond that already.

Daphne was holding a large, scrunched up piece of parchment while Pansy tried to snatch it from her hand. Over the summer, Daphne had shot up to match even Ron in height, but Pansy hadn’t grown at all. In fact, Parvati was fairly sure she was shorter than Harry.

“I swear if you don’t give it back I will make your life hell!” Pansy hissed loudly, lurching forward to try and snatch the parchment again.

Daphne easily held it out of her reach, scoffing as she did so.

“Oh please, you don’t have anything new on me,” she said, sounding delighted. “You’ve been too busy lately to pay attention, and now I see why. My, my, my, Pansy, how unexpected.”

Draco turned around and hissed at them to shut up, but Daphne ignored him completely. Arms held up high, she pulled the parchment taut and looked over it.

Parvati tilted her head to try and see but the angle was all wrong. She’d seen Pansy doodling on parchment a lot since the year had started, but she’d never managed to see much. When they were paired in Defence, Pansy had been halfway through drawing a realistic portrait of Millicent when she’d noticed Parvati looking and hidden it away, and Parvati hadn’t managed to get a glimpse of anything else since.

“It’s not bad really,” Daphne mused. “Though you’ve flattered her by changing the shape of her nose a little. Lovely study of her hands. Well, I assume they’re her hands since she’s all over this. Are those her lips too? Gosh, darling, how transparent of you.”

In the most undignified manner Parvati had ever seen of her, Pansy jumped up to try and snatch the parchment away from Daphne.

Parvati looked over to Millicent, wondering if Pansy was drawing her again. It didn’t seem likely, Millicent had a lovely cute nose. One of the only attractive features of her face, in Parvati’s opinion. No need to flatter her with making it look nicer than it already was.

“What do you want for it then?” Pansy snapped, drawing another aggravated hiss out of Draco.

It seemed to bring Pansy’s awareness back to the room. She glanced around, her cheeks flushing pink. Parvati looked down at her textbook before Pansy noticed her looking.

She could just as easily have let Pansy know she’d seen her very undignified behaviour. The result would surely have been even more amusing.

But she was intrigued now. She wanted to know who Pansy had been drawing that would cause such a reaction.

It sounded like prime gossip. Beyond that, she couldn’t deny she was curious about the implications. Pansy hadn’t reacted that terribly when she’d caught Pansy looking at her sketch of Millicent, but now she’d drawn someone and was throwing an absolute fit about it being seen.

If it had been a sketch of a boy the meaning would be obvious, so it was just as obvious now.

And Parvati was kicking herself for not noticing sooner.

After a whispered exchange too quiet to hear, there was a loud clatter that drew Parvati’s attention back.

Draco had stepped away from his cauldron and snatched the parchment from Daphne. In the process, he seemed to have knocked over two jars on their table.

Pansy stood motionless, staring at him with open horror as he scanned the parchment. One of his eyebrows climbed to his hairline. He turned the parchment over and scanned the other side. When he finally looked at Pansy, she looked defeated and he looked delighted.

“Draco, give it back,” she tried.

Beside her, Daphne kept looking between them. She didn’t look delighted like Draco. In fact, she looked guilty and Parvati perked up. For all Daphne had been teasing her, she hadn’t shown the thing about either. Would Draco?

“I don’t think I will,” he said slowly, turning the parchment over again. “You made me spoil my potion.”

“Come on, give it back,” Daphne said, reaching for it herself.

Draco pulled away and smirked at her. “Oh? Don’t start something you can’t finish, Daphne.”

Pansy gripped the edge of the desk and looked alarmingly like she was about to cry. It was an utterly foreign expression on her face, and Parvati was riveted.

“Draco...Draco, please don’t,” she said with a hitch in her voice.

Parvati almost choked on her inhale. She didn’t think she’d ever heard Pansy say please before. Ever. It suddenly made those implications a certainty. She had a crush on whoever it was she’d been drawing.

“Too late,” Draco sneered.

The fear on Pansy’s face morphed into anger.

“I will ruin you!” she hissed. “I will tell everyone that you—”

“Don’t care, he already knows,” Draco said, turning and walking across the room.

He caught Parvati’s eye and walked right over to her table. When he dropped the parchment on the table in front of her, she frowned up at him for a moment, then looked down at it when he returned to his table with an ugly smirk on his face.

Across the room, Pansy made a low sound, but she stayed where she was.

Parvati looked over the parchment slowly. It looked like Pansy had been sketching on it for a couple of days. There were small studies of her face from different angles. One of them was from two days ago, when she’d been so bored in History of Magic she’d tried out an elaborate hairstyle. She was shocked she hadn’t noticed Pansy staring at her. She had to have been to capture it so clearly.

The attention to detail was rather breathtaking. She’d never seen enough of that sketch of Millicent to really form an opinion, but Pansy’s drawing was beautiful. In the spaces around sketches of her head and neck, there were hands in various gestures. She turned the parchment over and scanned the other side.

In the top right corner there was a sketch of her lips and chin. Taking up the rest of the parchment was an unfinished sketch of Parvati standing over her cauldron.

The page slid out of focus as Parvati considered the meaning of it.

The fact it was her should have no bearing on the conclusion she’d already come to.

She wondered if she should be annoyed, or repulsed. She probably should. Pansy wasn’t exactly the nicest girl in their year.

But, despite herself, she liked it. They were beautiful drawings and the attention to detail was very flattering.

And she wasn’t sure the attention really was unwanted, even if Pansy could be a right cow at times. She wasn’t so bad now, really.

Parvati turned and looked across the room.

Pansy was gone.

It took a moment for that to sink in. How upset she must have been to actually leave class and risk detention.

Parvati got up and moved across the room. When she reached Daphne and Pansy’s table, she held the parchment out wordlessly.

Daphne gave her a searching look, then took it from her and folded it carefully.

“You’re a shit friend,” Parvati muttered.

“I wasn’t going to show anyone,” Daphne said, glaring at the back of Draco’s head. “I just wanted to tease her a bit. I didn’t think it was that serious until she reacted so badly. We both messed up our potions early on. She wasn’t talking to me. I was bored.”

Parvati shook her head at her excuses and walked back over to her table. She collected her things and left the classroom. She didn’t much care if Slughorn woke up and realised she was gone. Gryffindor was already dead last in house points after Harry’s latest round of mucking about after curfew without his bloody cloak.

Anyway, she had a decent idea of where Pansy would run off to, and the least she could do was let her know she wasn’t angry or repulsed. She could very well understand how Pansy felt, since she certainly didn’t appear open about where her tastes lay. Parvati had been herself for years, but she could still remember a time she’d been scared to let people know. She would never have thought Pansy was scared of anything, but then, she’d also thought she’d never say please either.

For a class she’d mucked up, it certainly had been enlightening.

And maybe, if Pansy didn’t hex her on sight out of defensiveness or embarrassment, she might offer to sit and let Pansy take her time drawing her.

Perhaps at Hogsmeade.

End.

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[taexual]

Because of Me / Yoongi x Reader

Yoongi never thought dreams held any value, so, after waking up from a nightmare, he was simply annoyed he didn’t get a good night’s sleep. He had no idea his nightmare would come true.

pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

warnings: angst

words: 3.7k

ANON REQUEST: Yoongi gets txts from u while performing cuz u hear some1 in the house and then ur txts stop and when he gets home the police won’t let him through so he can’t get to u and ur not answering ur phone so he’s really worried but happy ending pls!

“Fifteen til showtime,” the stage manager warned Yoongi by sticking his head into the group’s dressing room.

Yoongi was the only person still here. Every other member had gone out to do last preparations before going on stage but Yoongi was tired. He had a nightmare last night, so he barely slept, and he was getting ready for the performance the whole day today, so he couldn’t take any naps to make up for his lack of sleep, either.

On top of that, he was worried about you not texting him back. You had gone out to have dinner with your friend and you’d told him you would text him when you returned back home but it was now almost three hours later, and he still hadn’t heard from you.

Sending you the thirteenth text in the past half an hour, Yoongi sighed and got up from the sofa on which he had tried to get some rest before he became too worried about you to even consider the possibility of falling asleep.

And then finally, just as he had given up, his phone buzzed, indicating a text message from you.

              YOU [09:47pm]: phone’s dead, so sorry for not texting you back. charging it now! good luck at the show, love you!

Exhaling in relief, Yoongi shook his head. Just one exclamation point after the declaration of love and he had already forgiven you for making him worry so much.

               YOONGI [09:48pm]: no problem, glad you’re safe & okay. talk to you after the show, love you

You didn’t reply again but, this time, Yoongi wasn’t as nervous. Now he knew you were home, so he finally joined the rest of his groupmates as they jumped around, warming up for the show.

“Did you get in touch with her?” Namjoon asked, noticing Yoongi’s arrival.

Yoongi hadn’t even told him he was waiting for your text but Namjoon was always intuitive about this. He claimed Yoongi wore all of his anxiety about you on his face, although the other members never suspected anything.

“I did,” Yoongi said, unable to help the small smile spreading on his lips. That tended to happen every time he talked about you and it thoroughly amused everyone. “Her phone died. She’s okay.”

“She always is,” Namjoon said gently.

“Yeah, I know that, but…” Yoongi hesitated, glancing at the watch on his wrist. They still had about eight minutes left before they had to go on stage. “Ah, I don’t know. I guess I’m just on edge because of the bad dream I had tonight.”

“What was the dream about?” the leader asked, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning slightly. Namjoon got bad dreams, too, but none of them were so horrible that he couldn’t still get enough rest. And, to be honest, he’s never heard of Yoongi having a dream that bad before, either, hence the natural curiosity.

“It started out as one of those cliché nightmares,” Yoongi said, his eyes glazing over as he stared at the equipment around them, losing himself in the memory of the dream. “I was running through a dark forest. I thought I was running from someone but then I realized I wasn’t. I was actually chasing someone. As I got closer to the person, I realized I was actually chasing… Y/n.”

Yoongi stopped to check Namjoon’s reaction but he seemed unphased, so he continued, “and she’s running from me, b-but I’m not really me, you know? Because she’s screaming for help. She’s screaming my name. She wants me to help her. But I can’t help her b-because I’m the one chasing her.”

Namjoon considered this for a moment. Yoongi was a bit of a cynic when it came to dreams. He insisted they didn’t mean anything, so he didn’t really care about what he saw when he was asleep – that’s why Namjoon found it so interesting and, perhaps, slightly off-putting that Yoongi would be so concerned about this particular dream.

“I know you don’t believe in this stuff,” Namjoon said. “But I’m sure this dream was just the projection of your inner anxiety about the relationship. The fact that you’re chasing her might mean that you think you’re making it difficult for her. Maybe because you’re an idol and she isn’t. And since she’s running away from you but still calling you for help probably means that you think she’s putting up with all of this because she loves you but what she really wants is for you to… just be a normal, simple person. I don’t know, that’s just my, uh, interpretation.”

Namjoon added that last part because he saw heaviness on Yoongi’s face. He knew he hit everything head-on, especially the part about Yoongi’s constant concern for his relationship, but he didn’t mean to cause Yoongi even more worry by interpreting his dream. He was just trying to ease his mind since, clearly, the nightmare had left the older member alarmed.

“Look, I’m sure the dream doesn’t mean anything,” Namjoon gave in then, even though he wasn’t sure about anything at all. But he knew that sometimes, you were meant to say things you didn’t mean just to make the people you loved feel better.

“What if it does but you’re just understanding it wrong?” Yoongi asked, his open-minded attitude towards dream analysis surprising Namjoon. “What if the dream means that I have these two different personalities?”

“Ah. Kind of like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?”

“Yeah, uh, that,” Yoongi nodded although he wasn’t familiar with the details of the book Namjoon had just mentioned. “Or Fight Club.”

Namjoon understood. “You don’t have two personalities, hyung.”

“No, not to you, maybe, because we’re in this together,” Yoongi continued. “But what if Y/n sees me as two different people? The Yoongi – her boyfriend – that she knows personally and the… the Suga everyone sees on stage. And the latter is exactly the one she’s trying to run away from, while she’s asking the Yoongi she’s dating for help.”

Namjoon swore he almost got shivers. That tended to happen a lot if he and Yoongi sat down and just talked about whatever – which usually turned into deep philosophical conversations that somehow strengthened their bond, even if they found things they disagreed about – but he was still surprised about how deep Yoongi’s mind really was. He may have put up an almost nihilistic front, but really, Yoongi was open to believe anything if it had enough legitimate proof.

“Maybe that’s the way you think she sees it,” Namjoon chose to say. “This is a dream that you had. It manifested your unconscious mind. Not hers.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi said, various thoughts and further analyses of the dream buzzing in his mind. “Maybe.”

Namjoon was going to say something else but Yoongi’s phone vibrated and the stage manager materialized by their side at the same time, warning them that five minutes were left. Immediately, the staff began to double-check their microphones, fix their hairstyles, and make sure their make-up was still on.

Yoongi – while avoiding the make-up artist’s brush – glanced at his phone.

               YOU [09:54pm]: don’t you have a performance tonight?

Confused, he frowned a little – earning a groan from the make-up artist – and responded.

               YOONGI [09:54pm]: i do, i’m about to go on stage. why?

And just like that, he was worrying again. He seriously had a hard time maintaining his cool attitude that everyone assumed he had at all times because of you. He just needed constant reassurance that everything was okay with you because he couldn’t check for himself and that bothered him. He wanted to be there when you weren’t feeling well. He wanted you to share your worries with each other.

               YOU [09:55pm]: oh. nevermind then, i just thought i heard someone in the house

He could feel his stomach drop as he read this even though the sensible part of his brain told him that it was probably nothing, just like you said. You two had creaky floors in your house that seemed to have their own personality – they just creaked whenever and wherever. It could have also been a gust of wind coming from the open window.

               YOONGI [09:56pm]: close the windows, babe. it’s cold. i’ll be home soon. love you

“Hyung, we’re going,” Namjoon said, nodding his head in the direction of the elevating mechanism that was going to lift them to the stage. Then he stopped, noticing Yoongi’s shaky hands. “Everything alright? What happened?”

“Nothing,” Yoongi chose to say. There was no time to fret over something that could have just been your imagination. He had a performance right now. “Let’s go.”

Yoongi always felt like their performances only lasted for a moment. They just got on stage – the time stopped – and within a blink of an eye, he was already climbing off the stage, sweaty, slightly tired, but incredibly hyped.

Laughing at something Hoseok had just said, Yoongi got his phone out to let you know that he was going to be coming home after the finished the encore stage with the other artists. However, as soon as he unlocked his phone, he saw two missed calls from you and five texts that he hadn’t read. You must’ve been trying to reach him while he was on stage.

The adrenaline in his blood suddenly settled down and Yoongi quickly opened the chat with you to check what had happened.

               YOU [09:57pm]: okay, good luck on stage!

              YOU [10:02pm]: this is weird, i thought i closed the windows before i left but they’re all open. did you open them before leaving?

               YOU [10:06pm]: yoongi? please don’t freak out but i think there’s someone in the house

               YOU [10:08pm]: i called the police

               YOU [10:08pm]: i love you please don’t worry

Feeling his throat close up, Yoongi didn’t understand how he could have not worried. You had just told him there was an intruder in the house and then disappeared. The last text message Yoongi received from you was twelve minutes ago.

Immediately, he shook the white, glittery jacket off his shoulders so he could put his plain jean jacket on.

“Whoa, what’s wrong?” Jin asked, noticing Yoongi’s frantic eyes as he dialed your phone number while attempting to change his stylist-picked stage shoes into his own shoes. “What’s the rush?”

Namjoon overheard this and stood up. “Hyung, what happened?”

“It’s Y/n,” Yoongi said, putting the phone to his ear and feeling the way his heartbeat frequency became five times faster than that of the signal on his phone, while he waited for you to pick up the call.

You didn’t and Yoongi felt all color drain from his face. Something had to happen to you while he was performing.

“Shit, I have to go,” he said, his voice low and tingling with fear.

“What? We have encore stage,” Jin said, glancing at Namjoon who wasn’t doing anything to stop Yoongi from going for the door of their changing room. “Yoongi!”

Namjoon still said nothing – he knew that trying to stop him when he looked like he’s seen a ghost would have been pointless – and Yoongi sprinted out of the changing room, running down the hallway and barely avoiding other idols who were just preparing to go on stage for the two-song encore. Yoongi wasn’t going to be there.

He may have put his work over a lot of things but your life wasn’t one of them. If you had indeed heard someone in the house and Yoongi had played it off by simply telling you to close the windows, he was never going to forgive himself. He needed to get to you. He needed to know what happened.

But hailing a cab in a street filled with people screaming at the sight of him wasn’t just problematic. It was nearly impossible.

He ended up having to wave at the people who saw him and began to take pictures of him – he hated fake-smiling at them but if he didn’t want this to blow up, he had to pretend everything was alright – while attempting to call his manager at the same time.

“Yoongi?” the manager’s confused voice picked up on the second ring. “Why are you calling? What happened?”

“I need someone to drive me to my house,” Yoongi said as quietly as he could, but still loud enough for the manager to hear through the excited screams outside. “My girlfriend said someone broke into the house. She called the police.”

If he had been someone else, there was no way he would have gotten out of that crowd of people by the venue unharmed, and then reached his house in the next ten minutes.

Probably for the first time in his life, Yoongi thanked the God that he was who he was. He had a whole team of people ready to escort him away from the crowd. He had a driver ready to take him home and a police car which joined their van about two blocks away from the venue, so no suspicions would arise.

While waiting for the van to reach his property, Yoongi tried to call you six more times but all calls went to voicemail. Your phone wasn’t turned off – that was promising – but you still weren’t picking up and Yoongi couldn’t calm his rapidly beating heart down.

He jumped out of the van as soon as the driver stopped outside of his house. He couldn’t see very well through the tinted windows inside of the vehicle, but he heard the police sirens. His house was surrounded by them. He couldn’t waste another second.

Running towards the gate, Yoongi called your name, ready to enter his front yard, until a police officer grabbed his arm, stopping him.

“Sir, please, you can’t go inside,” he said, trying to contain a wild Yoongi, who immediately pulled his arm out of the officer’s grip. “There’s an investigation going on.”

“That’s my house,” Yoongi said shakily. “My girlfriend was inside, is she—”

“Two intruders were reported inside of the house,” the officer informed him despite not really having any right to do so. He wasn’t an investigator working on this case, but he knew very well whom the house belonged to. Word traveled fast even between police officers. “They had weapons. The area is on lockdown.”

“Weapons?” Yoongi’s eyes widened. He thought he was truly going to pass out. “My girlfriend was inside!” he repeated. “Did you get her out? Where is she?!”

“Sir, please calm down, we are—”

“Y/n!” Yoongi’s voice cracked as he screamed your name, cutting the officer off and completely disregarding everything he’d just said by pushing the gate open and running towards his house.

“Sir!” the officer chased after him but due to the fact that he hadn’t expected him to run, he ended up hesitating for a good moment and, thus, giving Yoongi a good headstart.

Yoongi stopped right outside of his house, breathing heavily as he took in the number of police officers around him. There were at least three cars parked on his lawn and investigators were talking to each other by his porch. The policemen were walking around, guns at their sides, but Yoongi couldn’t see where you were.

“—no, actually. We think the intruders knew who the owner of the house is,” Yoongi overheard one detective say as he walked past him, looking for you. “They also had to know that he wasn’t going to be home tonight, that’s why they broke into—hey! You can’t be here!”

Yoongi knew the detective was addressing him but, evidently, he hadn’t realized that he was talking to Yoongi, the actual owner of the house they were just talking about. And so, suddenly driven by the new knowledge that these people broke into his house specifically because it was his house, Yoongi ran around the porch, his eyes frantically scanning every person in search of you.

“Y/n!” he called again, not ashamed of the desperation in his voice.

“Sir—”

“My girlfriend was inside of the house!” Yoongi turned around at the voice of a yet another police officer attempting to detain him. He couldn’t believe he was repeating this for the third time. “Did you get her out? Where is she? Are those men still inside?”

“Sir, please, calm down. We will get everyone out of the house safely,” the officer had an unnaturally calm voice when he spoke and it pissed Yoongi off.

But it was his words that almost made Yoongi throw the uniformed-man against the door of his police car and punch him. He had just told Yoongi that you weren’t safe yet.

“Are you saying she’s still in the house?!” Yoongi asked, clenching his fists. “She called you over twenty minutes ago, how could you not have gotten her out by now?! Is she inside of the house with these—the people who broke into it? The ones who have weapons?”

“They—um,” the officer clearly hadn’t expected Yoongi to already know this many details about this and he certainly wasn’t used to civilians talking to him in such a threatening tone. He must have been new. “There are armed men inside, that is true. But our officers have entered the house to escort any hostages out, sir.”

“They will fucking kill her!” Yoongi wasn’t really aware that he was yelling but he had a feeling the ambulance that had just pulled into his front yard might end up having to sedate him nevertheless. He wouldn’t have minded that at all, except he still hadn’t found you and it was this panic specifically that made him aggressive enough to look for you despite being told not to.

Yoongi was moments away from going into the house himself and the policeman probably noticed this because, placing a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder – that Yoongi immediately shrugged off – he tried to explain, “Sir, our officers are professionals. They will—”

“I fucking swear, if anything happens to—”

The door of the house suddenly opened and both Yoongi and the police officer he had been talking to whipped their heads to look. Two officers were helping your shaking body stay up as they walked you out of the door and Yoongi, as soon as he realized that the scared figure between two uniforms was you, immediately dashed in the direction of the front door.

“Y/n!” he wailed, running up the porch stairs and throwing himself at you before any of the officers could protest.

Another few police officers walked out of the door, escorting two handcuffed men to the closest police car. Out of the corner of his eye, Yoongi could see the intruders but he didn’t bother to turn his head to look. He couldn’t have cared less about them in that moment.

He wrapped his arms around you, not giving you a chance to say anything – and certainly not giving the officers nearby a chance to pull him away from you, either – but just listening to your shaky breaths.

“Yoongi…” you whispered then. “W-why are you here? Your performance—”

Yoongi’s heart broke as you mentioned the performance and his grip on you tightened. He couldn’t imagine how you were even able to think about his work when your life had just been in danger.

“Baby, no. I got here as soon as I saw your texts,” he told you. “The performance is over. I’m here with you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t get here earlier.”

He pulled away only to check on your face. The tears had stopped but your eyes were still red and puffy, and Yoongi swore he had already mentally prepared to strangle the two intruders with his own hands had you not spoken.

“You’re here now,” you said, your voice small. “It’s okay now.”

“I am here,” Yoongi nodded, bringing his thumb across your cheek to wipe the remaining tears away. “But it is not okay. They… these people came here because they knew it was my house. T-the weapons they’d supposedly brought… God, I don’t know what they would have done with them. I can’t imagine that. But it’s all my fault.”

“Yoongi,” you said, parting your lips in surprise. “No. It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known—”

“You told me you heard something,” Yoongi continued. “I should have gotten home as soon as you said that but I didn’t. I ignored that and went on with the performance. Baby, I’m so sorry.”

Hearing his guilty voice and feeling how fast his heart was beating in his chest when he wrapped his arms around you again, you almost broke down in tears. Seeing him in so much pain over this hurt you much more than any of these intruders could have, even if they’d brought weapons.

You never blamed Yoongi for not being here when these men broke into the house, not even once. You were afraid, sure, but you weren’t certain if you were more afraid of what’d happen to you or how it’d affect Yoongi. You knew how anxious he was about the health of your relationship and about you, in general. You strived to give him as few reasons to worry as possible because you knew he’d drop everything and run to you.

Yoongi – despite being a workaholic – always prioritized love and family, even if he didn’t realize that he did. The way he was beating himself up right now was living proof of that.

“I love you,” you said, turning your head so you could gently kiss his cheek as he held you in his arms. “Please don’t blame yourself for this. I’m okay. We’re okay.”

But Yoongi still felt guilty. He could feel your love and forgiveness – even if you insisted there was nothing to forgive – but he couldn’t help himself. There you were, screaming for his help inside of the house, but he was busy being a different person on stage. It was exactly like the dream he had and he shuddered at this realization, clutching your body tighter in his arms.

“I’m not leaving you alone again, baby,” he promised in a whisper. “I love you so much.”

masterlist / ask (requests are closed)

[purplesurveys]

568

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? I haven’t had any truly awful ones. The only time I felt ‘meh’ about a haircut was when I went to the salon on my own and told the hairdresser what I wanted myself. I was never good at that kind of stuff, and always prefer being with someone so they can tell me if I’m headed somewhere good or otherwise. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalogue? I’ve never heard of that. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I’ve only ever used eyeliner at one point in my life and I’ve forgotten every detail about it. It was black, though. Do you wear eyeliner? I used to. I wanted to look nice post-breakup, so I learned how to do makeup to feel good about myself. Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn't cry? I guess when I have HAD to cry in the past, as in for a skit, I couldn’t. But I can be triggered and cry very easily otherwise.

What's your favorite type of yogurt? I hate yogurt, I hate everything that’s sour (except for sour tapes, but even those I can only handle at a certain level of sourness haha). What posters did you have on your wall as a teenager? Wrestling. My mom took them down for no reason eventually, even though I loved having them up on my wall. What are your favorite type of calendars? I mean I don’t obsess over calendars enough to have a favorite type? so a digital one on my phone and laptop is fine with me. I do sometimes wish I was rich enough just to be able to spend on those novelty calendars with Audrey Hepburn photos and Monet paintings in every month, though. Do you have a full-length mirror? I used to but it got transferred to my sister’s room. I don’t mind it though; I don’t use mirrors all that much. When was the last time you bought stamps? Elementary school, probably. Do you have any overdue library books right now? HAH, yes I do actually. It was a book I needed to do a Powerpoint on, and I completely forgot that its due date was on the 4th. The fee is like ₱2/day so I’ll have to pay around ₱8 to ₱10 by next week, depending on when I’ll feel like returning the book. How often do you do laundry? I don’t; my mom prefers to do it herself. Do you have a piggy bank? Maybe as a kid, but I never took it seriously because I didn’t sit well with the fact that I couldn’t see the money I’ve been saving. I’ve stuck with a good old wallet ever since, just so I can know my progress. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? I don’t, actually. I wonder what numbers I used to secure my locks :o What's your favorite DIY crafts youtube channel? Aren’t a lot of those misleading and downright fake? Could you spend hours on pinterest? I’ve never spent more than five minutes at one time on that website/app. Do you own plaid pants? Nah, it’s not really my style. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? I had to wear my school’s uniform for 14 straight years. All I ever wore Monday through Friday for that span of time. What was your high school's mascot? We don’t have a mascot; we just have school colors. What were your high school's team colors? Gold, white, blue. Who were your best friends in high school? Angela, Gabie, Athenna, and Sofie. Others I was close with were Chelsea, Kaira, and Fern. Who was your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Gab. Have you ever been to Chicago? Nope but it’s a dream. If yes, what do you like best about it? The FOOD, the culture, the museums. Have you ever stayed in a hostel? Nope, never been. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. I wouldn’t like sleeping somewhere that felt unnatural, and lying down way high from the floor is definitely one of those things. Do you love camping? I’ve never tried, so I don’t know. Would you rather sleep in a tent or under the stars? Lie under the stars for as long as I can, then pass out in a tent. What insects are you afraid of? Cockroaches. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I haven’t. Are you close with your cousins? I have a good relationship with most of my cousins, mom’s side; but I’m especially close with my eldest cousin, who I essentially view as my older brother. I’m so-so with cousins on my dad’s side - we were very close as kids, but they moved further to the south and I never really get to see them anymore, so we grew more shy as the years passed.  Are you close to any aunts or uncles? I love my mom’s cousins; they’re all younger than her and they’re mostly late Gen X-ers so they’re more hip and cool hahaha. I wouldn’t say we’re close but they are definitely much easier to talk to than other older relatives. Are you close to your grandparents? I seldom get to see my paternal grandparents because they live with the ^ same cousins I’ve since grown quite distant from, so I wouldn’t say I’m close to them but of course I love them all the same. I was very close with my maternal grandfather when he was still alive as I always knew what to do to make him laugh; and I am also crazy for my maternal grandmother, although in the last few years she’s been all about Jesus so sometimes it gets a little draining hearing about how I should always pray and that “God can answer all [my] problems.” Still love her loads, though. Who betrayed your trust? A friend did, many years ago. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Bold of you to assume a sibling was my first best friend, because you’re wrong lol. I’d consider this girl we calle Kaye the first one; we were class number buddies in Kinder 1 (I was 4, she was 5) so we got close quickly. She changed schools by Grade 1 and I haven’t talked to her since, but I still remember her fondly. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I was never allowed at sleepovers when I was a kid. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Sweet-flavored ones. I could never take dry-ass plain/salted popcorn. It has to be something like salted caramel or parmesan. Does your town have a big fountain in it? If we do have one, I’ve never seen it. But I’m pretty sure we don’t. What is your town known for? For being on a mountain and being ridiculously hard to get to because 1) of its winding, accident-prone roads, and 2) IT’S ON A MOUNTAIN. I live in the area of Antipolo just before you start to go up, so I don’t get offended much by the complaints of everyone else; but I’m in solidarity nonetheless with the ~mountain-dwellers~ just because I used to go to school in upper Antipolo. Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? I mostly grew up in Antipolo, so yes I still live here. I did live in Manila in my early childhood but that time was much shorter than the time I’ve spent in my current city. What's one way in which you're behind the times? I hate Minecraft and I hate Fortnite even more. What's one way in which you're still a child? I love coloring books :) What's one way in which you're old? I have a bad back. Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? Definitely feel a bit of both, depending on my mood. The perfect example could be that I can be annoyed seeing younger kids make so much noise, but the next day I can be exactly like those kids making a bunch of noise with my friends. How old are you? I am 21. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? No, not yet. Quite early to think about at this point, really. If yes, what is it? A private dinner would already sound perfect. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Vaping. I mean don’t try it if you haven’t already, but yeah. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Tbh if my mom came home carrying a box of Yellow Cab pizza. AKA something that would NEVER happen; she snobs Yellow Cab cos she thinks they’re too expensive for pizza. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I get my revenge, subtly. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? Our subject Language, which was mandatory back in elementary school, was literally basic English grammar. Not everyone in my former school spoke fluent English so a lot of them weren’t all that good at the subject; but for people like me who had a solid grasp of English and read a lot to begin with, the class was basically a breather from the other more difficult classes. If so, what? ^ I already told ya all about it. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? Skipping grades isn’t a thing in my former school which is honestly a good thing for me cos it would have bred a lot of competition. But students would have to repeat a level if their grades showed that they had to; I wasn’t one of them. What time of day were you born? 9:11 in the evening. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? I loved my layered hair like 10 years ago. It was probably the only time I did something to my hair that wasn’t just a trim, so I enjoyed that experience. I also liked cutting my hair way, way too short last year; it was a bold move but I liked how it look, as did everyone else. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I’ve never tried dyeing my hair so I wouldn’t know. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Curly, I think. Do you have bangs? I have baby bangs but they’re just stubborn hair standing around my head lmao but no I don’t have actual bangs. Do you think you look better with bangs or without? I haven’t tried getting bangs as an adult. I did look cute with them as a toddler though :( Do you think you look better with long hair or short? Long. What's your favorite rock band? Paramore, if they still count. Who's your favorite country singer? None. Do you ever listen to Celtic music? No. Do you listen to Hillsong? No. Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? No I never tried it. Have you ever won a contest? I won a school quiz bee and an essay writing contest before, but I wouldn’t call the latter legitimate. It was just a writing contest about wrestling held by a local TV station and the three best entries got to win WWE t-shirts haha. Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? I wanted to be a model when I was like 12. No fucking clue what was going through my head at the time. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Sure. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Nope. Do you wear matching socks? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Three. Do you own an American flag shirt? No thanks. Do you own a British flag shirt? I don’t. The Union Jack got overused by 2011 Tumblr, honestly. Do you have a seashell collection? I don’t. Aren’t we prohibited from getting those from beaches? That’s the case in the Philippines, anyway. Do you have a rock collection? I do not. Do you decorate for Halloween? We didn’t decorate the house but I celebrated it with friends this year. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Float around and relax. Flamingos or pineapples? ??? Flamingos, I guess? Cacti or seashells? Seashells. Maple tree or palm tree? Palm tree. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? Dreamcatchers! Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I probably have at few points. Do you have a crush right now? Yes. What color was your first car? My first and current car is white. Was your first car used or new? I’m actually not sure. It was my dad who purchased it. Do you have a car now? Yep. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I never wear any.

[yourdreamscenarios]

When you spend time together at the hotel

Characters: J Hope / OC Genre: Fluff, slight angst Word count: 2,906

Practically skipping through the abandoned hallway you stopped in front of one of the hotel rooms. Once again checking the text he had sent you, you compared the numbers once more before realizing this should indeed be the right room. So unless he was planning on setting up a terrible joke, which he would suffer for later, Hoseok should be waiting on the other side of the door right now. Butterflies were already fluttering through your stomach because of the thought that you were actually about to see him. It had been a while since you had been able to be so close to him. Lifting your fist to knock it against the wood three times you waited, rather impatiently, until he’d come to open up. You couldn’t remember him being this slow before. Yet, one second you were blinking, and the next the door flew open and your beloved boyfriend showed up in front of you.

His eyes were wide as they drank you in, as if he had never seen you before. It could be because of the new haircut, though usually he didn’t notice the small changes in your looks. Perhaps it was a typical things for men. “_______________.” Your name rolled off his tongue like a sweet melody and immediately your body started humming. You had missed him so much. Hoseok smiled as he extended his hand to you, grabbing yours lazily before pulling you inside of the room. The place smelled like him, even though he could impossibly have been here any longer than an hour. As soon as you’d found out that he was staying at the same hotel as you and he had asked you to come over, you and rushed to get ready. After showering up and getting changed you were now happily in his presence.

“Did you miss me?” He asked and you turned around to look at him, watching him as he locked the door behind him. While he made his way over to you, you grabbed the opportunity which came by to finally study him properly. He was wearing some casual grey sweats, and a wide hoody. He looked comfortable, his hair frizzy and his face free from any make up which told you that he had already showered. “Of course I did. The question is, did you miss me?” You teased, seeing him tilt his head towards the side as if that was the most stupid thing you could have asked him. The two of you didn’t get the chance to do these kinds of things quite often. Both being idols it was hard for the two of you to meet up, especially since you were both very busy. Promotions were mostly hell and these days he would spend a lot of his time overseas.

Yet, tonight you had both attended the MAMA’s, an award show you joined every single year. It was a fun event where you were able to watch all the hard work your colleagues had done over the year and where you had the chance to meet the friends you barely saw. This time it had also been the perfect opportunity for you and Hoseok to finally hang out. He’d been looking so incredibly handsome in his dark blue suit, you literally hadn’t been able to keep your eyes off of him. And neither had the public, since they had all been loosing their minds by the sight of him. The boys had all been looking extremely handsome, they always did. “I always miss you.” He grinned as he stopped in front of you and circled his arms around your waist, pulling you in.

Cuddling yourself against his chest you felt the way he nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, subtly trying to sniff at your hair. It were always special moments, the first time you saw each other after you’d been apart for a while. It was like discovering each other again, taking the time to invent all of the things that had changed about each other while you hadn’t been able to see each other. The biggest changes were mostly hair styles, especially his. You could no longer name all the colors he had had before, but you surely didn’t mind.  The two of you stood there for a while, taking in each other’s smell, appreciating the feeling of holding your arms around one other. Actually you weren’t ready to let go yet when he broke free, but sensing the way he was guiding you over towards the bed, you decided not to complain. The mattress bounced when you sat down with a thud, and you were surprised to notice how tired your legs were. It had been a busy day, waking up early to rehearsal, getting your sound checks done.

A long time of trying out different kinds of hairstyles and outfits, getting your make up done. And eventually attending the show, watching all the performances, performing yourself. It was already past midnight and you could feel the lack of sleep trying to take over you. After a day like this you usually went to bed early, but you really couldn’t miss the chance of spending time with Hoseok. “How are the others?” You asked as you shoved yourself further down the duvet, laying your head down on top of one of the pillows. Quickly he took in the spot beside you, his body molding into the bed as he let out a content sight. He was probably just as tired as you were. Yet, you were both very good at hiding it. You both turned onto your side, your back facing him and he draped a lazy arm around your middle as he spooned you against him. His breath hit against the nape of your neck, tickling you softly.

Just the feeling of his presence, knowing that he was here with you, was enough to make you feel better than anything else could. “They’re still their sometimes annoying selves.” He informed and you chuckled, knowing that he didn’t mean that. Of course they couldn’t always get along and they fought sometimes, just like you did with your band members. But in the end he loved them, they were like family to him. Heaving a deep sigh you let your eyes linger around the room, which looked very much like your own, just a few details were different. “You did very well tonight. Your performance was great.” He muttered behind you and somehow it annoyed you that you weren’t able to see him when he talked. There were so many times you were only able to see him through a TV screen or from far away, with hundreds of people separating you.

So now that he was actually laying beside you, it pained you that he still seemed so far away. Smoothly you turned over, and he blinked his eyes in surprise before he shot you a wonderful smile. “It always could have been better.” You said, thinking of the mistake you had made during the intro. It had only been a small movement, but you were sure that your fans had noticed your little misstep. No matter how hard you worked, in the end you always felt like you could have tried harder, given more of yourself. There was always something people found to complain about, to pick about. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, you were amazing. I’m proud of you.” He assured you and you couldn’t help the blush that plastered itself onto your cheeks.  It was always so nice to have him around. He always knew what to say to make you feel better.

Sometimes, late at night when you laid in bed and you had just hung up on him from a late night phone call, you wondered what your life would look like if you had never met him. Hoseok and you had been dating for over a year and a half now and to be honest you couldn’t even imagine you spending your time with anyone else. He was the first person that came into mind when you thought of someone to call when you were bored, or when you needed someone with you. During hard times you wanted him to be near you, when you were in a good mood you wanted to share those moments with him. Your life always looked brighter when he was close. It seemed as if he sensed something was going on inside of your mind as he lifted his hand to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, asking for your attention. “What is it?” He asked, his voice soft and sweet. It was like a melody ringing inside of your ears.

He seemed unknowing sometimes, as men could be. Women were complicated creatures for them and you could imagine it being hard for him to always figure out how you were feeling, what you were thinking. You thought the same thing about him often. But he wasn’t always as clueless. “Nothing.” You started, sending him a bright smile, but the look he sent you was obvious. He didn’t believe you. Not even the slightest bit. “Don’t lie to me.” His expression was stern, but you could still see the twinkles inside of his eyes which told you he wasn’t really angry. Sighing you lowered your eyes towards the small V-collar from his shirt, watching the way his skin peeped out. He waited, not planning on giving up before you’d given him a truthful answer.

“Do you ever feel like when you wouldn’t have a certain thing in life, you’d be miserable? Like that one thing your word revolves around and the thought that if you’d ever get to loose that, you wouldn’t know how to keep going?” You asked, and his expression grew very serious. Every glint of tease disappeared out of his features as he popped his head up inside of his hand, leaning on his elbow so he was able to get a proper look at you. There weren’t many times you would speak up about these kinds of topics. You weren’t a deeply emotional person, you weren’t insecure or sad that often. But apparently every person had their moments, and this was one of yours. He seemed taken aback for a second, like he didn’t quite know how to answer you. The conversation had changed so suddenly, he obviously hadn’t seen this coming. “Of course, everyone has something they can’t risk loosing.” He mumbled, keeping a close eye on you.

He was obviously thinking about something that could be the matter, something that had upset you and that made you think like this. You weren’t a negative person, and usually you always saw the bright side of things. “What if something that makes you happy suddenly isn’t there anymore when you wake up the next morning?” you continued, taking in every single detail of his face. You couldn’t even imagine a world without him. The thought that he would ever leave you made you feel terrible and even though you knew you shouldn’t allow those kinds of thoughts to penetrate your mind, you couldn’t help yourself. Anything could happen, any time. Life was so short and you were only human. You didn’t know how many sun sets you had left, how much time you had left to spend with the people you held dearly.

People died every single day, from all different kinds of causes. There was a big chance that you would loose someone some day, who you loved and who you wouldn’t be ready to let go of just yet. That could be him one day. Even though you knew that you were being ridiculous and you hated the fact that it happened, you couldn’t help yourself when a few tears collected themselves inside of your eyes. All of this was so incredibly sad. You were angry at yourself for thinking like this, for having these thoughts. “Hey…” He seemed dumbfounded because of your sudden emotional state as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, steadying himself on the mattress. You didn’t get the chance to argue about your comfortable position being lost as he tugged you up with him before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close.

“What’s going on, what happened?” He asked, sounding concerned. Now you felt even worse, knowing you were making him worry over nothing, while he surely had different things going on right now. He didn’t need an oversensitive girlfriend to deal with. To be honest you didn’t even know how to answer him, because nothing had happened. You were simply making a fool out of yourself, letting your mind drift off towards such stupid things. “Nothing, it’s ridiculous.” You wailed, your words muted by his shirt as the fabric dried your tears. If your friends had to know what you were thinking of right now they’d ask you if you needed some professional help, if you wanted to talk to someone about it who could help you giving these kinds of feelings a place. Perhaps you were just stressed, or the fact that you saw him so little was finally weighing through on you.

How were you supposed to enjoy your time with him when you barely got to see him in the first place? “No it’s not, tell me.” He demanded, drawing you back so he could look at you. He watched you patiently, giving you the feeling that you could tell him anything. You knew he would take you seriously and that he wouldn’t laugh at you, but it was still embarrassing. You were getting emotional over nothing. Placing his hands on top of your cheeks he looked deeply into your eyes, waiting. “It’s just, I’m so happy when you’re here and when I see you, but we’re rarely together. What if something happens to you? What if…” You couldn’t even finish your question when all of a sudden he smashed his lips down on top of yours, the sweet taste of them overwhelming you. You gasped because of the passion he poured into it, because of how roughly his mouth roamed over yours.

His hand slipped towards the back of your neck as he tried to bring you even closer, but that was impossible. Fisting your hands inside of his sweater you tried to hold onto the fact that this was all real. When he pulled back you were breathless, your eyes wide as you looked at him, dumbfounded. He was clearly proud of himself that he had been able to surprise you like that, but he soon got straight back to business. “We shouldn’t ruin this moment by wondering what comes next. I just want to love you, right here, right now. Let’s forget about tomorrow and just be together, like it’s all we’re living for. Because I love you, I really do. And I’m not going anywhere.” He reassured you, and somehow his beautiful speech caused your mood to instantly brighten. He was right, any time could be your last and you shouldn’t be ruining it by overthinking things, thinking about what your next move should be. No, instead you should be holding him close, enjoying him more, spend a little less time thinking about what could happen.

This here, this was happening and it was real. There was never going to be another thing more real than what you felt for him. He seemed relieved to see that your tears were drying, knowing he had said the right thing and he had been able to cheer you up. Easily convinced by him you laid back down on the bed and he followed suit, using the opportunity to snuggle himself into you. Draping one arm loosely around your middle he seemed pleased, as if this was the only thing in the word he needed. And somehow it made you feel like that too. “I’d say we could watch a movie but I’m afraid we’ll both fall asleep if we do.” He muttered, curling his free arm behind his head as he tried to find himself a comfortable position. Actually you were quite sure that no matter what the two of you would do now, you would drift off anyway. Yet, the idea of watching something didn’t appeal to you right now.

It wouldn’t let you enjoy his company in the same way you could if you’d just lay here and talk to him. “I love you. I’m always happier when you’re here.” You confessed sheepishly, playing with the ends of your sleeves so you didn’t have to look at him, slightly embarrassed. Though he just chuckled before he leaned closer to press another kiss onto your lips. This time it was a lot sweeter than before, almost lazy before he dropped himself back beside you, ready to go to sleep. The day had lasted long enough and if you didn’t both want to be zombies in the morning you would eventually have to give into your exhaustion. “You are my happiness.” He mumbled, already half into his slumber, causing you to smile as you allowed your eyes to flutter close. Everyone was afraid of losing someone, the most important thing was to make the best out of the time you were able to spend together, to live it to the fullest. And that was exactly what you were going to do.

BTS Masterlist

[sachi-pon]

free! dive to the future episode 3 liveblog/review thing

once again, i am pretty late. s-sorry... it's sometimes hard to find a good time to sit down and do this! it takes me so long to watch these episodes because i have to keep pausing to write things!!  ^__^UU but don't get me wrong. it's fun!! i just have a lot of other things going on that i'm trying to do these days.

i did do the same thing for the other episodes: episode 1 liveblog/review: http://sachi-pon.tumblr.com/post/175837687351/free-dive-to-the-future-episode-1-liveblog-review episode 2 liveblog/review: http://sachi-pon.tumblr.com/post/176267454651/free-dive-to-the-future-episode-2-liveblogreview

watch episode 3 here: http://www.crunchyroll.com/free-iwatobi-swim-club/episode-3-first-swim-in-another-country-775634

now, let's begin!!!!

hey look ikuya, i guess hiyori saved you from your feelings of loneliness XD

i'm thinking. is this season going to have some big reveal in a later episode with ikuya where it's one of those "this whole time, he was..." or something??? that's one of my favorite kinds of plot twists.

lol i heard him say "morning call" okay? i understand english you know

what he says: "i'm fine" what he means: "I'M UPSET ABOUT HARUUUUU AND HAVE A LOT OF ANGST ABOUT MY PAST AND ALSO MY PRESENT AND FUTURE FOR SOME REASON AND MY HAIR KEEPS GETTING IN MY EYES."

there's a mysterious monster in the bed!!!!!

IT'S RIN

full of energy, i see.

can i just watch an entire episode of rin silently doing mundane everyday things and looking tired and cute?

ENGLISH AAAAAAAHHHHHH lol i keep forgetting that there is a lot of english in this season apparently

"i can't read him" aww, the way he said it is so cute.

rin saying "what?" in english... I CAN'T STAND THE CUTENESS!!!!!

"you guys are just too slow" that trash-talking is supposed to sound tough but that accent is too precious.

"your muscles aren't my type" lolol are you gou???

omg i type things and then people in the show say them?!?!? XD

i'm gonna start saying "cho-very" to other people in my real life in america. i'm sure everyone else around me will NOT think i'm weird.

this soft piano music is great <333

"i'm fine" once again, the biggest lie in the world

"nothing's wrong" sure.

the guy with blue hair's hairstyle is so weird???? but okay, i accept it.

of course mr. stalker appears out of nowhere to speak for ikuya because heaven forbid ikuya speaks for himself!!!!

i like how every time hiyori speaks for ikuya or tries to stalk him in some way, ikuya goes along with it. it's... kind of adorable? but at the same time, there's something weird about this relationship!!

btw. i bet there will be a time that ikuya finally gets mad at hiyori for speaking for him. like "wtf dude, you're so annoying!"

wait, you don't like team events but you complained at the beginning of the episode about being lonely. well okay then.

oh you wait until ikuya can't hear you and then you say something under your breath, haha

i like sousuke's voice <3333 i'm just saying!!! i'm just saying.

detective makoto trying to solve the mystery

"sounds like a girl's name" omg these poor guys in this anime. they will never escape being made fun of for that. XD

"hey, i just insulted you, but don't get pissed off!!"

"hey, i just insulted you, but let's go on a date!!!"

the stunned look on rin's face. he's like 'hey that sounds like a pretty sweet lifestyle!' (and then he tries to pretend that he doesn't care, haha.)

"he's aiming for the global stage, like me." rin, are you aiming for the global stage or are you aiming for that sweet prize-collecting lifestyle now???

shhh, rin, don't bother people when they are sleeping!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NONONONONONONO NOOOOOOOOO. DON'T EVEN SHOW ME THIS. DO NOT SHOW ME THIS HOTEL. THE TRAUMA IS COMING BACK. I HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN TRIGGERED.

*** How to Trigger a Makoharu Shipper in Just Four Words *** 1. season 2. two 3. episode 4. twelve

"i'm not sure if it's right for all of us to just barge in." hey that's what i have said before. maybe it's not a great idea for you all to go see ikuya! he clearly has some... issues or something.

"ikuya's not mad about that" oh makoto you're so funny

so many questions being asked! this is like a meeting of a detective squad. okay now that i've said that, i want a series where the free! characters go around solving mysteries. kyoani, make it happen.

omg i love how the music continues into the next scene. (i like little details like that. i like to think about all the little details in the choices made by the people who create this show.)

hiyori's not just a weird stalker but he genuinely has concern for ikuya... awww

"rin, you've gotta stop having dinner with him every night." LOLOL WHAAAT. XDDD HOW MANY DINNERS HAVE THEY HAD???!!

hmm i wonder if gou has that?

of course gou has all the muscle magazines.

OF COURSE GOU IS READING ONE RIGHT NOW HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS SHOW

"if anything happens to me, you have to protect this photo book" LOL I AM DONE I AM DONE

"gathering information." so this IS a detective squad.

haru's confused look next to mako's awkward smile... haha

"if that's how you feel, why don't you cover my dinner?" rin you savage

"i have a policy against spoiling younger guys" does that mean you have a policy for spoiling guys who are the same age or older?????

omg hiyori??? you're such a stalker. or better yet... a SPY. that's what you are. free! is now a spy drama. which is pretty cool if you ask me.

"it's not that i'm mad at haruka and his friends" suuuuuure

the detective squad really needs to be here to listen to this whole speech. so much information and yet they can't hear it. XD

what is natsuya's dream?? why'd he interrupt?

the beer can in the water, lol

RIN'S LAUGH I'M DEAD THAT WAS SO CUTE.

"you're the adulterous type, huh?" well, this show escalated quickly.

how many guys does rin want to "swim" with? umm that is a very personal question isn't it? ;)

"if i win, you let me stay in your apartment" well, this show escalated quickly, EVEN HIGHER NOW. rin, please say no to this weirdo.

he didn't say no. they are about to race. well, it's good that they went on several dates before swimming together.

let me guess. natsuya will win and move into rin's apartment because the writers are disgusting perverts who want to throw more sexual tension into this show. (okay, i approve.)

how did you two even notice the rain if there's already water splashing all around you?????? PLOTHOLE

natsuya wants to go back to japan in order to swim with someone else?? so my prediction was wrong?? well then! i never said it. you never saw it.

wait who is this????

there may be two kinds of muscles for you, but there is only one kind of muscle for gou: the kind she likes.

"i knew someone a long time ago who was the same way." and then the scene changes? wait, i want to know who he's talking about!! detective squad, please solve the mystery!

omg, the detective squad actually showed up right after i typed that. yay~

haru has a look on his face like "i am 100% sure that something bad is gonna happen." (and then he goes in anyway)

makoto looks angry in the preview?? or is it just determined? whatever it is, it's hot. <3

that's the end of the episode!!! so here's what i think. i liked this episode because as you can see, i keep hanging on to every little thing and watching intensely!!! i do see a mystery going on here. it's unfolding piece by piece. i think this is a season where each episode will be a little more dramatic than the previous one. like each one builds on the drama created by the previous episode. clearly there are so many tensions and issues with these characters. things are going to explode...

[veronica-rich]

To wind Rimmer up, Lister mucks with his projection and puts him in a ballgown. Refusing to rise to the bait, Rimmer keeps it on, and Lister finds himself hopelessly (and surprisingly) aroused. :-D

There it is, he decided, a wide smile creasing his face as he scrolled past the hideousness, then came back to it, studying the folds and shimmer in detail. That’ll fix him.

It wasn’t one thing that drove Lister into the holographic projection program in the middle of the night, but a series of events over the past few weeks that had culminated to snap his trigger when Rimmer snottily suggested at dinner that perhaps Lister didn’t really require chocolate sauce over his carrots. It was an unsubtle dig at the fifteen or so pounds that had crept up around his middle over the past several months of depression and unchanneled restlessness.

“Carrots are nutritious,” Lister muttered aloud in a mock-nasal whine as he futzed with the ship’s catalog to find the specifications. “They’re VEGE-TABLES, Lister. They’re meant to be eaten PLAIN, Lister.” Then he added in the same parody of Rimmer, “I like to shove them up my ARSE one at a time while I whistle Zippity Doo Dah, Lister.”

So, the smeghead liked carrots, did he? Force-feeding him a dozen bags wouldn’t do any good, but Lister could sure make the homophobic git wish he’d gone that route instead. As he changed some coding and meshed programs together, Lister felt the happiest he had in a long while. On this ship, with this crowd, this was sure to provide entertainment for him, Cat, and Kryten for hours, possibly days. It just depended how openly contrite Rimmer could find it in his shriveled, blackened little light bee to BE.

Probably the days one, Lister mused once he was done, hit “execute,” and password-locked the program, getting up to head back to his bunk. DAYS.

*****

The thing Lister noticed when he finally woke up at eleven in the morning, once his brain fog had cleared, was what hadn’t awakened him. He’d been left to wake up naturally so late. That couldn’t be right; had he simply been so tired he’d slept through Rimmer’s yelling? Had it been so loud it had simply elevated him to a higher plane of unconsciousness?

His answer didn’t present itself until he ambled into Starbug’s midsection for some crispies. At first he couldn’t identify the alien sound, but as he dismounted the steps, he realized it was swishing. To be fair, he only realized it when he saw the space’s other occupant emerging from the kitchenette to set his tea on the communal table. Lister bit down on his grin, but not fast enough. Rimmer breathed in at the sight of him, tunnel-like nostrils filling with the oxygen. “YOU.” It wasn’t a yell or a bellow, or a question. It was an intonation; Lister expected winged demons to begin falling from the ceiling.

“Oh, hey, man- um, I mean, Ma’am. Miss?” he corrected himself. “Ma’am? I’m sorry, I don’t know the cutoff age for titles.”

Rimmer straightened, fixing his roommate with a muddy green glare. “Lister, fix this, NOW!”

Lister instead eyed his creation. Already tall, Rimmer was statuesque in the three-inch heels Lister had fixed to his feet via programming; he knew the shoes were there by the minor teeter in Rimmer’s stance. They were of course covered by the hem of cake-like tiers of shiny orange taffeta, draped in loose-parachute folds. The fitted bodice encased nothing but was stretched by a chest deceptively slimmed by Rimmer’s usual quasi-military jackets and tunics. Long-fingered hands were perched on his hips, surprisingly muscular arms tense with presumable rage. “You’re a right picture, there, Commander.” He winked.

Rimmer’s haughtiness was creased by confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Been whipping the houseboy this morning?” he asked. “Sipping mint juleps?” He nodded toward the cup on the table. He could just about pinpoint the moment the reference dawned on the other man. “For Io’s sake!” Rimmer shouted.

“Face it, Arlene; you’ve been more of a bastard than usual lately. You deserve this.”

“Get me out of this getup!”

Lister shrugged. “I don’t really tilt that way-” He was cut off by Rimmer’s giant sigh. “Look, all you have to do is apologize. And mean it. That’s it.”

Rimmer stared at him, then nodded. “Right. Not like I can’t fix this myself.”  He put his right hand down further on his hip, patting it … then looked, and swore, presumably as he realized or remembered his belt control pad was not an accessory to this ensemble. “Well, I don’t need that!” he fumed, jerking to the left toward the cockpit and presumably a mainframe.

Staying quiet, Lister watched him stumble and totter toward the small room, pausing at the door divider to lift his voluminous skirt and step over it, then nearly fall as he tried to negotiate the grating in heels. He waited until the ranting began, then called, “But you might need the password!”

Shortly, Rimmer swayed back into sight, grabbing the sides of the doorway to balance as he stared murder at Lister. “CHANGE. ME. BACK.”

He leaned forward, enunciating as well. “A. POL. O. GIZE.” Instead, Rimmer gave him the middle finger; Lister tutted. “That’s not very ladylike. Keep it up and I’ll give you a hairstyle to match. Rimmer gritted his teeth and muttered something that sounded much like “dog food breath” just under easy hearing.

******

“Well, the color ain’t bad,” Cat judged at their evening meal as he critically eyed Rimmer between sips of milk. “But that style’s all wrong for his body type and age. And orange doesn’t really work on a redhead.”

“Eh?” Lister looked from Cat to Rimmer, then back again, confused. He looked back, studying Rimmer’s hair, and realized it was sort of a ginger, of sorts. “Oh, eh. Never noticed that before.” Rimmer continued eating and reading his data pad, studiously ignoring the conversation.

“Sure, it does a lot better with a nice gold, or maybe some deep primary colors,” Cat continued. “Also, those rhinestones are all wrong; man his age and skin tone needs one piece of jewelry, maybe two, tops. Not all blingy like that.” He made a circular motion mid-air indicating Rimmer’s chest area. “Now me, I can pull it off. But that’s ‘cause I make anything look good.”

“It’s not supposed to look good,” Lister pointed out. “That’s the point. I made him look how he acts.” Rimmer briefly glared up. “Don’t give me that attitude; you know how to fix this,” he reminded the hologram.

“Like a sixteen-year-old prom date?” Cat asked.

“Young and immature, yes.” He didn’t explain he’d chosen a dress because he wanted to put Rimmer on his back foot, and misgendering his image was a sure way to do it.

He wasn’t surprised when Rimmer didn’t apologize that day. He wasn’t even surprised when two more days passed in relative silence - a blessing, actually, since of late, Rimmer not only had not shut up, he’d used most of his words toward Lister to complain about something or other. He was surprised when he noticed Rimmer was no longer teetering in his new shoes on the fourth day, but getting around rather gracefully and forcefully, and appearing to give his hips an extra twist here and there to get the giant skirt around corners through narrow doorways.

He nearly went back and fixed the programming himself that weekend when he caught himself staring at the back of Rimmer’s head, musing over how long and slender his neck was and admiring the sharpness of shoulder blades framed by the shiny, taut material. Small auburn curls littered the bottom of his hairline above his neck, and Lister imagined blowing on the wisps to see if he could make Rimmer laugh or shiver. He caught and slapped himself mentally when he considered making an excuse to go shower so he could have a wank at the thought.

OF.

RIMMER.

This was not good, he determined. Gay was fine for everyone else; he was tolerant. But it wasn’t for him. He definitely didn’t have any attraction for Rimmer. Maybe some other men, somewhere. What sensible straight bloke wouldn’t have slept with the late, great Sir Daniel Radcliffe, if given the chance? The man had been a sex symbol well into his nineties, after all. Even in Lister’s time, the Ryan Reynolds Sexbot had still been a popular purchase for every gender.

But Rimmer? He was officious, arrogant, narrow-minded, and stiff, all angular and pinched, weasel-like expressions marring what should have otherwise been handsome features. His nose was too long, his brow too frowny, lips too thin, hands too large. His throat bobbed too much when he talked, especially visible in that gown; Lister was only distracted when Rimmer would tug at the strap, then run his fingers through his hair, clearly exasperated, then lick his lips. Lister pondered all this as he watched Rimmer trying to study the seventh morning at their bunkroom table, leaned forward on his elbows and mouthing words to himself as his eyes tracked across the page, the front of an open-toed apricot sandal peeking out from beneath the hem of the dress, fingers drumming the tabletop. Lister could see a little down the top of the dress because there was nothing to mold to the built-in bra, and wondered if he pulled the dress off, if it would fizzle and stay off-

He abruptly threw himself forward and up from his bunk, standing. Rimmer jerked upright, shooting him an annoyed look. “Do you mind? You’re like a bull in a tea shop.”

He really wanted to change Rimmer’s clothing back to the blue uniform. He needed that apology soon. “Are you ready yet to get out of that gown?” he snapped. Rimmer raised an eyebrow, and Lister, uncomfortable, decided to turn the tables. “Or do you like it in that gown?”

Rimmer frowned, then sighed. “It’s just a covering, Listy.”

Are you kidding me, he thought. “So you DO like it.”

“I’m tired of yelling about it, is what I am,” Rimmer insisted. “Though I do wish I knew why orange.”

“You’re the one who loves carrots so much.”

“THAT’S what all this is about? That I said you shouldn’t turn your vegetables into a sundae?”

“That you need to smegging well quit trying to micromanage every move I make, is what it’s about,” Lister informed him. “You comment on what I eat, what I wear, how I move, what I do. What I look like. Always with the criticism! YOU DO IT CONSTANTLY. I feel like I’ve got a stalker, and it’s not even an attractive woman!”

“Is that why you put me in a dress? So you could imagine I’m a woman?”

Lister let out a mid-level growl meant to serve as a warning. But Rimmer kept on. “For what reason, then? Have you gone a bit light in the loafers, Listy? Maybe you’re so desperate that I’m starting to look good?” He was clearly the one taunting now, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed, smirking. “Or maybe that’s why it’s so hideous - so I wouldn’t look SO good, hmm?”

He took a few seconds to compose himself before smiling deliberately and shooting back, “I’m not the giant homophobe here, Rimsy.”

“Aren’t you?”

“No, you’re confusing me with you.” He pointed in front of him. “Come stand here. I can get within range of you and it not bother me, but I bet YOU can’t!”

To his surprise, Rimmer stood, nose aflare, did a little pirouette around the edge of the table, and came to stand a foot away from Lister, hands on his hips. He towered as much distance above him, and Lister fixed him with narrowed eyes in challenge. “I see you’re not falling off your shoes anymore,” was the first thing he could think to say.

Rimmer shifted on his feet a little. “You get used to them. Still not pleasant.”

“I could’ve made them stilettos.”

“And I’m supposed to thank you for these?”

They glared at each other, and Lister was dismayed to discover for the umpteenth time in the past few days that he wanted to put his hands on that hard-light fabric, feel how slick it was, how warm from the body encased in it, and maybe even peel it off. “I can see right up your nose,” he taunted. “You have a big nose. How does it feel, getting criticized for something you can’t help or don’t even want, or like, maybe?”

Rimmer glared silently. Presently, he said, “I am not apologizing.” Before Lister could think of what response that could possibly deserve, Rimmer spoke again. “I can … moderate, my observations regarding your person and habits going forward, though, I suppose.” Each word was like chewing a metal gear and spitting it out.

The only thing Lister could wonder was, “Why does it matter what I do?”

“I have to keep you riled up. It’s what keeps you going.”

“Wait, fighting’s not-”

“Listy, think about it,” he sighed. “You do best when you have an enemy. Someone telling you you can’t do something. It’s the only reason you passed your pre-tests so high, because Hollister said he didn’t think you had two brain cells to rub together. Once you figured out after he was just baiting you, though, you gave up on the engineering program and went back to slobbing around on Zed Shift.”

“What’re you saying to me?”

“I’m saying, you have brains just rotting in there that you don’t like to use, and meanwhile, here am I, busting my arse to figure out basic physics that a child should understand!” he shouted, throwing his arms out to the side. “I’m saying you’re not stupid! You’re not a total smegging moron, and it’s hell to watch you wallowing like you are and just wasting what you’ve got!” He was breathing hard, some thick curls coming loose from tightly styled hair, the taffeta rustling with the rise and fall of his chest and shoulders as his eyes bored into Lister’s.

Lister finally said, “You want me to get you out of that getup?” Rimmer gave a little nod - and so he did.

******

Later, Lister curled an arm around Rimmer’s bare waist as he nuzzled his jaw. “I think I like this look the best on you,” he teased, rubbing his foot along the man’s equally bare shin.

Rimmer gave a little breathless laugh as he shifted on the bed. “You do realize the next time you lose an argument, you’re wearing a ballgown of MY choosing.”

“Bring it on, Big Man,” the Scouser muttered as he kissed his decidedly adult prom date again.

BONUS IMAGE OF INSPIRATION:

[lou-bonfightme]

Toulouse Henri Bonfamille - Character Sheet

if you get sleep or if you get none / the cock's gonna call in the morning, baby / check the cupboard for your daddy's gun / red sun rises like an early warning / the lord's gonna come for your first born son / his hair's on fire and his heart is burning / so go to the river where the water runs / wash him deep where the tides are turning...

Archetype — The Caregiver Birthday — May 10, 1995 Zodiac Sign — Taurus MBTI — ENTJ Enneagram — 3, the Achiever Temperament — Choleric  Hogwarts House — Slytherdor Moral Alignment — True Neutral Primary Vice — Pride Primary Virtue — Diligence Element — Earth

Overview:

Mother — Adelaide Bonfamille (nee LaBlanc) (Portia de Rossi FC) Father — Hector Bonfamille (Tony Goldwyn) Mother’s Occupation — socialite Father’s Occupation — politician Family Finances — wealthy Birth Order — oldest child Brothers — Berlioz Bonfamille (Matt Hitt FC, 20, Birthday: June 20, 1997) Sisters — Marie Bonfamille (Olivia Holt FC, 17, Birthday: April 22, 2000) Other Close Family — Maternal Aunt: Duchess LaBlanc Best Friend — Hades Other Friends — Sophie, Daisy Enemies — Roger, Perdita, literally so many people tbh Pets — A cat that is not his. Also his plants.   Home Life During Childhood — emotionally manipulative/abusive; argumentative with father; parental disagreements; was put in charge of younger siblings Town or City Name(s) — Paris, France Details of Town(s) or City(s) — loved the river and parks, only place he had refuge What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — rather plain, big windows, bright, painted a cream color, not a lot of toys but an easel and paints in one corner, a large desk with art supplies. Any Sports or Clubs — nope, he focused solely on his art. Favorite Toy or Game — didn’t really play a lot of games, but he liked building legos with his siblings, or reading to them. Schooling — did excellently in school Favorite Subject — science (especially biology), though he has a fondness for literature as well. Popular or Loner — loner, but girls liked him alot; he had the broody bad boy thing going on, which annoyed him immensely. Important Experiences or Events — moving to Swynlake Health Problems — undiagnosed manic depressive; some minor PTSD and agoraphobia Culture — french, and proud of it. Religion and beliefs — raised catholic, attending church mainly to keep up appearances, he finds parts of religion very beautiful, but also calls bullshit on most of it; he’s too logical and scientific to really find any sort of comfort in it; respects those who are religious though; has a predisposed inclination to dislike muslims based on rhetoric and a lack of proper understanding about the religion.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Freddy Carter Complexion — pale and freckly! Hair Colour — Russet Eye Colour — Green Height — 6′0 Build — slight and tall Tattoos — none and never will Piercings — none Common Hairstyle — perfectly styled 90% of the time, if you catch him without his hair styled he really likes you. Clothing Style — the Most fashionable, very flamboyant, lots of colour Mannerisms — tucks his hands behind his back when he’s nervous or being respectful, if he’s embarrassed his ears turn red Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — not since he’s become a werewolf, but he never really got sick Physical Ailments — none Neurological Conditions — bipolar II Allergies —  none Grooming Habits — grooms better than some of my girls lmao. takes very good care of himself--when he’s not in a depressive state, then he has more trouble, but if he’s going out he’ll still go through the motions. Sleeping Habits — terrible sleeper. has really bad insomnia. is up late a lot, sleeps in late a lot. wakes up a lot throughout the night. tosses and turns. has trouble falling asleep. Eating Habits — super picky eater. when depressive/manic sometimes doesn’t eat that much Exercise Habits —  lmao what exercise Emotional Stability — off his meds? like a 2/10, on his meds he’s closer to a 6/10 probably.  Body Temperature — normal Sociability — very charming, knows what to say to get people to like him. that doesn’t always mean he says those things lol Addictions — none really?  Drug Use — smokes pot, doesn’t do other drugs thank god that’d be so bad Alcohol Use — drinks more than he should

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — what habits are not bad habits? Thinking he is right about everything, pointing out people’s flaws, getting in fights, generally believing he knows better than everyone else, not feeling out his emotions, withdrawing when things get tough, not speaking to anyone about things that suck in his life, taking on all challenges alone, i could go on... Good Habits — he’s a good brother, he takes care of his siblings, he takes care of himself, for the most part; he’s an excellent studier; he’s very loyal once you win his loyalty Best Characteristic — his unfaltering loyalty Worst Characteristic — his lack of ability to properly communicate his emotions Worst Memory — all the times he had to hide in the closet, or his father sent him to bed with no dinner and kept him there for hours Best Memory — his siblings being born Proud of — his siblings, his art (sometimes) Embarrassed by — not much, honestly. When people catch him having a proper emotion Driving Style — doesn’t drive but he’d be a total soccer mom Strong Points — his loyalty. It’s unwavering and uncompromising Temperament — volatile Attitude — melancholic. Weakness — not being emotionally vulnerable. Seriously, it would solve so many of his issues Fears — not being good enough, being unlovable, worried that he will always be horribly bitter Phobias — pfft nothING (jk he’s lowkey afraid of storms) Secrets — lmao so many where to start? Mostly that he actually does crave affection Regrets — lol everything; probably the biggest is being so hard on ber during their teen years Feels Vulnerable When — he’s having emotion Pet Peeves — god where do i start? People who dont say what’s on their mind Motivation — protecting his siblings is his main motivation Short Term Goals and Hopes — he doens’t really have any im realizing this rn Long Term Goals and Hopes — also does not have many here Sexuality — grey asexual, biromantic (he could be either rly) Exercise Routine  — pfft exercise is for the weak Day or Night Person — night owl Introvert or Extrovert —  introverted extrovert lou really does thrive in a crowd but needs a lot of recharge time after Optimist or Pessimist — pessimist highkey

Likes and Styles:

Music — Classics. Classical. Stuff with not a lot of lyrics. Though, he’s also fond of the Opera. He really likes Faust and Don Giovanni. Also, he secretly likes a couple of musicals--Les Miserables and Cats are probably his favourites, though he very rarely indulges in them. Books — Candide by Voltaire is his favourite novel, he’s read it several times. He is a fan of the gothic period, he enjoys books like The Phantom of the Opera. Is not a huge Victor Hugo fan because he finds him a bit wordy, but he does like Hunchback of Notre Dame. He prefers concise language in his novels, but also likes beautiful imagery. He’s an avid reader. Magazines — He reads National Geographic and TBH probably gets a copy of Vogue, as well as a few museum magazines, just to keep up with the art scene. Foods — Lou is not a very big sweets person, he prefers richer foods. His favorite is frozen grapes--red or green, that doesn’t really matter. He’s almost always snacking on grapes. Drinks — Lou loves champagne. He also is an avid drinker of water. Animals — Lou loves birds, they’re his favorite. He’s also a fan of reptiles. And he has a particular interest in dinosaurs. Sports — Lol. Social Issues — Lou takes a bit of a middle road on these issues. There are things that he is rather passionate about--such as LGBTQIA rights (this is a recent development), but he also has some rather...unethical opinions about things like immigration that he usually keeps to himself because he knows that they are contentious subject. Favorite Saying — “Chacun voit midi à sa porte” Translation: Everyone sees noon on his doorstep. Basically, everyone views the world the way that they view it. Color — Ah, he cannot choose--but he does gravitate to warmer, earth colors in his paintings, oranges and reds and browns. Clothing — Lou is extremely fashionable and he always is dressed impeccably. He loves color and very rarely wears dull ones. Jewelry — Not a huge fan of jewlery, I’m sure he has a nice watch though, that his father gave him. Games — Chess. Puzzles. Things that challenge the mind. Websites — Eh, he’s got a tumblr blog, and he’s #instafamous so. TV Shows — Lou doesn’t watch television enough to have favorite shows but he detests reality shows and probably watches them with his brother to make fun of people. Movies — Lou doesn’t watch movies often, but he loves good cinematography. Also, documentaries. Especially nature and historical ones. (Also loves Legally Blonde on the lowkey.) Greatest Want — To be needed. Greatest Need — To learn to embrace his emotions.

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — lives at his mother’s home in Swynlake Household furnishings — very modern, aligned with the latest Parisian fashion. Favorite Possession — his art studio, does that count?? Most Cherished Possession — the drawer of arts and crafts that lou kept from his siblings when they were little. Neighborhood — the woods, very posh Town or City Name — Swynlake Details of Town or City — small magic friendly Married Before — to Anita Dearly, long story. Significant Other Before — none. Children — none. Relationship with Family — close with his siblings, though closer with Marie than Berlioz, a bit of a momma’s boy, and has a cordial relationship with his father, is very close with his life-long nanny, Nounou. Car — none. Career — will probably be an artist; should be a surgeon. Dream Career — surgeon he just doesn’t know it yet Dream Life — a successful magical animal treatment center, where he can also practice his art on the side; very little chance of having a family but deep down would love a wife/husband and children, maybe he’ll adopt. (he does not know any of this.) Love Life — a hot mess; tries not to develop feelings for people. Talents or Skills — painting, obviously Intelligence Level — he’s very intelligent and observant Finances — wealthy af

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — he’s been a student. Past Lovers — many; mostly one night stands, very few repeats Biggest Mistakes — being so hard on ber in secondary; marrying anita. Biggest Achievements — uhmmmmm his art has hung in several galleries