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#it’s just executed in such a garbage way
crimeloyalty-arch · 2 years
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* i take harleen away from c*onner and p*almiotti. i do not give her back. *
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naggingatlas · 1 year
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you dont think its possible to feel like youre having a heart attack from a deltarune animation set to living fucking tombstone wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong
#^ read wrong the way wayne says years inside the ring years inside the ring in the sweepstakes#the hyperlink one. its the hyperlink one the other one sucks gallons of ass in comparison im so sorry to the creator im typing w my nerve#endings#like i saw it and was like oh cute its that song i liked a couple years ago yea it fits him ^u^ cool outro BUT#THEY DIDNT INCLUDE THE PART THAT JUST. COMPLETELY RIPS YOU TO SHREDS DUDE LIKE IM SWEATING THINKING ABOUT#IF I FALL I THINK ILL FLY. TOUCH ME. MIDAS. MAKE ME PART OF YOUR DESIGN. NONE TO. GUIDE US. I FEEL FEAR FOR THE VERY LAST TIME *AND*#ITS THE FUCKING SNEO BATTLE. LIKE THATS ONE OF THE MOST IMPACTFUL PIECES OF DELTARUNE FANART THATRE POSSIBLE TO CONCEIVE.#AND THE SOUND DESIGN AND INTERPRETATION OF SNEO'S ATTACKS INTO A MORE PHYSICAL PALPABLE SETTING ITS total schizo mode activation#i saw it when i woke up today (4hoursago) and having gotten to the sneo fight just before bed yesterday it made my whole body tense up and#i just had to go try beat him again. and i did w sound off listening to ordinary life. and i added 3 more stages to my average score#did not fucking beat him obv both the secret bosses are insanely difficult for a mediocre bullethell player but.#really boosted my confidence. i gave jevil off to danny for him to beat. i want to beat spam myself. i need to#honestly dont get people who dislike spam unless theyre only familiar w like. the fanon interpretation or whatever its absolute garbage#a lot of the time but in game. hes just the funniest most peculiar fucking character as everyone in deltarune is. yea hes overhyped but#for a reason baby. hes well written in the parts that we dont see and well executed in the parts we encounter. everything surrounding him#is just so beautifully purposefully out of place and uneasy and psychotic its beautiful. how the fuck can u say he's boring. how.#i adore toby's decision to make this chapter's secret boss much more prominent than jevil i hope they get some interaction as effed up#roomies of kris's pocket lint. not in a shippy way tho thatd be hilarious but just. oh ure kinda like me huh. mb we could be friends#and then they turn into a cartoon fight cloud and u randomly hear their screams when checkin the inventory#but seriously making them at least amicable towards each other would carry a lot of meaning & strengthen the#'if freedom is being completely cut off from society and more importantly your friends for the rest of ur life is it really worth it#for just a glimpse of heaven of ultimate knowledge or maybe peace' narrative of jevil and spam#honestly i think the fact that u probably have to seek out the secret bosses to get the best true ending and that theyre so so#much harder than anything else in their chapters and that theyre all connected to gaster and it makes me think#they carry much of the burden of deltarune's subtext's meaning i mean the subtext carries onto the text onto the main gang's#realtionships uhmmmmmm idk i have to work ill prolly. make a post about this when im finished w everything. and a comic about the sbs.
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its-actually-withered · 11 months
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You know what this season was trash, actually.
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zooophagous · 1 year
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So why do you hate the advertising industry?
Hokay so.
Let me preface this with some personal history. It's not relevant to the sins of the advertising industry perse but it illustrates how I started to grow to hate it.
I wanted to be a veterinarian growing up, but to be a vet you basically have to be good enough to get into medical school. I do not have the math chops or discipline to make it in medical school. I went into art instead, and in a desperate attempt to find some commercial viability that didn't involve moving to California, I went into graphic design.
I've been a graphic designer for about seven or eight years now and I've worn a lot of hats. One of them was working in a print shop. Now, the print shop had a lot of corporate customers who had various ad campaigns. One of them was Gate City Bank, which had a bigass stack of postcards ordered every couple months to mail to their customers.
Now, paper comes from Dakota Paper, and they make their paper the usual way. Somewhere far, far from our treeless plain there is a forest of tall trees. These trees are cut down and put on big fossil fuel burning trucks and hauled to a paper mill that turns them into pulp while spewing the most fowl odors imaginable over the neighboring town and loads the pulp up with bleach to give it a nice white color.
Then the paper is put on yet another big truck and hauled off to the local paper depot, then put on another big truck and delivered to my print shop, where I turned the paper into postcards telling people to go even deeper into debt to buy a boat because it's almost summer. The inks used are a type of nasty heat sensitive plastic that is melted to the surface of the paper with heat. Then the postcards are put on yet ANOTHER truck and sent to the bank, which puts them on ANOTHER truck and finally into the hands of their customers, who open their mail and take one look at the post card and immediately discard it.
Heaps and heaps and literal hundreds of pounds of literal garbage created at the whim of the marketing team several times a year. And thats just one bank in one city.
I came to realize very quickly that graphic design was the delicate art of turning trees into junk mail.
And wouldn't you know it there are a TON of companies that basically only do junk mail. Many of them operate under the guise of a "charity," sending you pictures of suffering children or animals and begging for handouts and when they get those handouts the executives take a nice fat cut, give some small token amount to whatever cause they pay lip service to, and then put the rest of the cash right back into making more mailers. "Direct mail marketing" they call it.
Oh but maybe it's not so bad, you can advertise online after all. Now that there's decent ad blocker out there and better anti-virus ads usually don't destroy your computer anymore just by existing.
Except now when I search for the exact business I want on Google it's buried under three or four different "promoted search items" tricking me into clicking on them only to shoot themselves in the foot because I searched for the specific result I wanted for a reason and couldn't use those other websites even if I felt like it.
And now we have advertising on YouTube and on every streaming service, forcing more and more eyes onto the ad for the brand new Buick Envision that parks itself because you're too stupid to do it on your own.
Oh thats ok maybe I'll get Spotify premium and go ad free and listen to some podcasts- SIKE we have the hosts of your show doing the song and dance now. Are you depressed and paranoid from listening to my true crime podcast about murdered and mutilated teenagers? That's ok, my sponsor Better Help can keep you sane enough to stay alive and spend more money.
It's gotten so terrible that now you have content farms, huge hubs of shell companies that crank out video after video to get more and more precious clicks. Which if the videos were innocuous maybe that wouldn't be so awful except now you have cooking hacks that can actually burn your house down and craft hacks that can electrocute you being flung into your eyes at the speed of mach fuck so some slimy internet clickbait jockey doesn't need to get a real job.
It of course goes without saying that animals are also relentlessly exploited by clickbait companies that will put them in compromising situations on purpose to create a fake fishing hack video or even just straight up killing them for sport by feeding small animals to a pufferfish that rips them apart for the camera.
And all of this, ALL of this doesn't even touch how adveritising is the death of art in general. Queer topics, any kind of interesting art, any kind of sex or substance use topics are scrubbed clean and hidden at the behest of advertisers.
Sex education, a nude statue, topics such as racism or sexism or bigotry in general have tags purged or hidden from search, even life saving information about SDTs or drug use, because if someone saw that and complained then Verizon might sell fewer tablets and we can't fucking have that.
Conservative talking heads often bitch and moan that they're being censored on social media. The stupid part is, they're right! They are being censored! But it's not by a woke mob, it's by ATT and Coca Cola not wanting their adspace sharing screen time with their stupid fucking opinions.
However, they won't ever figure that out, because the talking heads they get their marching orders from like Tucker and Jones ALSO rely on the sweet milk flowing from the sponsorship teat and they aren't about to turn on their meal ticket so they have to come up with even stupider shit to say for the train to continue rolling.
I managed to rant this far without even getting into the ads I see for the beauty industry. The other day a botox ad described wrinkles as "moderate to severe crows feet" as if wrinkles are a symptom of a fucking serious disease! Like having a flaw in your skin is a medical problem that you need thousands of dollars of literal botulism toxin to fix! I was incandescent with anger.
Advertising is a polluting, censoring, anti educational and anti art industry at it's very core. It destroys human connections, suppresses human thought and makes us hate our own bodies. It ads no value, actively detracts from value, and serves no real purpose and I believe it should be almost if not entirely banned.
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elainemorisi · 10 months
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old news I know, but Trek writers' ineptitude with romance is just so predictable and yet so extraordinarily varied!
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animentality · 1 year
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Elon Musk tries to pretend he wanted to buy Twitter when actually he just talked too much shit on Twitter, and his board was fucking pissed at him for fucking the stock market with his bullshit tweets.
He then gets caught in a fucking legal battle because Twitter is also pissed at his bullshit and plus, Twitter actually isn't that profitable in terms of the social media business.
He then gets forced to buy Twitter seriously, for over 3x the fucking market value, and nasty severance packages for the executive staff.
He gets to pretend he "fired" them when actually he's forced to pay them all 200 million plus certain profits for an extended time frame.
All because he's a trust fund brat who doesn't know how to conduct himself like a fucking business professional.
He then also fires the legal and safety departments AND the algorithm engineers and replaces them with his Tesla engineers.
I'm sure that'll go well.
Twitter's algorithm may suck donkey dick but with Elon firing 75% of the Twitter staff, well.
I'm sure they'll figure it out.
It's Tesla, right, they don't make mistakes 😤
Anyway, so I think Elon also fails to recognize that there is a very real chance that if he doesn't conduct business on Twitter similar to the standards of the previous Twitter policies that he "hates" then Twitter might be fucking banned in Europe.
Their hate speech laws are tighter than American laws.
I for one hope the entire world bans Twitter.
And it gets funnier guys.
Because there are already major advertising companies threatening to leave Twitter if Elon Musk does what he's threatening.
Which is to bring Trump back on.
See they weren't that happy when Trump incited that January 6th riot at the Capitol building.
Plus there are already people spamming the n word and neo Nazi garbage and racist anti semitic homophobic shit.
Capitol fucking One isn't gonna promote itself beside a fucking swastika.
This is kind of amazing to watch.
Ads are just about the only thing that make Twitter profitable.
So right now we just wait and see.
I think he's trying to bring dogecoin and Bitcoin and nft shit directly to Twitter, like use those to monetize it, but.
But I'm not sure how well that'll work in his favor.
We'll see but.
The situation is funny in a dark way.
Very succession levels of dick measuring and feather primping.
I wish Elon Musk a very merry bankruptcy though!
Hope liquidating assets and begging other companies for money satisfied his humiliation kink.
44 billion...hm.
It's like he's trying to become Kanye West.
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skelingtonsderek · 2 years
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My favorite thing about fandom is how transformative it is like a fan could love the most dogshit fucking terrible piece of crap show and, through their love, make it look like the most amazing, evocative, and breathtaking piece of art imaginable.
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Idea: My fantasy is to be forcibly transformed from a young, affluent, VERY clean, well-educated, well groomed, well dressed white corporate executive into a VERY dirty uneducated garbageman. I must be forced to surrender my corporate career, my car, my office, my name, my money, my expensive formal business suit and tie, my wristwatch and polished black dress shoes and even my dress socks, along the way to my new real life.
Boardroom to trash bins
You glance at the golden watch on your left wrist and decide to walk a little faster.
You are not late - yet - but the board meeting is too important to be late to. Of course, on the other hand, you can't walk so fast that you would break a sweat. The thought alone of arriving at meeting room with beads of sweat on your forehead or, God forbid, a damp spot on your dress shirt is even worse than coming a minute or two late. That, at least, you can blame on the traffic, which is not even wrong. Your expensive German car has been stuck behind a garbage truck for a good ten minutes. Inacceptable, of course. You would expect the city to schedule such annoying but probably necessary services at night, when there is no traffic that could be slowed down by it.
After all, you have a reputation to uphold! You are Jameson Pierce, son of the millionaire and successful investor James Pierce. You are also the owner and CEO of one of the most prominent investment companies, Pierce&Co.
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You have the best business education money can buy and your decisions influence the fate of thousands of employees of yours. You don't arrive late to board meetings like that!
Still, there is no reason to get agitated yet. If the lift is free, you will arrive perfectly on time.
As you quickly make your way over the office parking lot that is being overshadowed by the 50 story skyscraper you own, you almost collide with an old man in a blue uniform, who is blocking the way into the building by picking up refuse from the ground. Apparently, the wind has knocked over the garbage can next to the entrance, and all the contents have scattered on the pavement. The old man is just bending down to pick up the cans and garbage bags and put them back in the bin.
"Out of the way!" you blurt. Usually, you are nicer to your employees by just curtly ignoring them, but this old man is blocking your way and moves slow as a snail.
"Of course, sir, right away!" he says with a toothless smile, and you almost gag. The old man is disgusting! He looks as if he has been sleeping on the street, and the smell of booze emanating from him makes that assumption very likely. You briefly wonder if he even works for you and decide that if so, he needs to be disciplined for his appearance.
However, you are interrupted by his next sentence.
"I just need to pick up all that garbage here. You could help, sir, that would make it quicker."
What? This filthy old drunkard dares to ask you for help? The audacity!
"Out of my way!" you repeat and push the old man aside. You are now standing directly in front of the revolving door, ready to enter your company's building. Behind you, you can hear the old man mumbling something and then start cackling, like a maniac.
You shrug it off. The man is lucky you don't have time for that right now, as you carefully navigate through the scattered items on the ground. You need to be extra careful not to ruin your thousand dollar shoes or dress pants by stepping into something sticky and foul-smelling.
Even if you weren't in a hurry, there's no way Jameson Pierce would bend down to pick up garbage. You are reasonably proud to have never touched anything that has been in a bin - that's what employees are for, not managers like you.
The board meeting continues as bad as the day had started. It is way too warm in the meeting room and you can't prevent a single drop of sweat forming on your forehead. Of course, you wipe it away with your silk handkerchief and hope nobody has noticed, but that's not the only thing going wrong. Twice in your report, you find yourself at a loss of words. Instead of using the correct technical term, you have to verbally set back half a sentence and explain what you mean in simpler words. How very, very embarrassing.
It comes as no surprise that, when the meeting is finally over, you are in a particularly bad mood. Sadly, the old man from before has left, otherwise you would have fired him on the spot as a therapeutic action.
On the way to your car, you call your secretary to cancel all further appointments today, but as you try to ring the number, you just get the message that no connection could be made.
Just great. So, your office phone system has broken down as well. Angrily, you get in your car to drive over to your office yourself.
You don't get very far. Halfway on the way to your office, there is a grinding noise from the engine and then, your car just stops. Right in the middle of the street. You almost can't believe your bad luck. Angrily, you hit the steering wheel, sounding the horn in the process, but it's no use. Trying to ignore the honking from outside and the rude gestures of drivers finding their way around you, you reach into your pocket to call the car dealership. Luckily, you're well covered for such situations.
You stare blankly at the device in your hand. This isn't your cell phone. Instead of the brand new current flagship model with the big Pineapple on the back, you are looking at the cheap plastic of a no-name device with a cracked screen that is probably ten years old.
"What the...?"
You frantically search all of your pockets, but they are all empty.
You can't help but feel as if you have gone insane. No, there has to be a rational explanation. You have probably just pocketed the wrong phone when you were at the board meeting. Of course, there are immediately nagging voices in your mind that remind you that you had tried to call your office just before getting in the car, or that surely nobody at the board meeting would have such a phone, but you decide to tune them out.
Your office is now only two blocks away. There, you have your tablet with all of your contacts. You can call the car dealership to care for the car and then just end this horrible day.
You get out of the car and ignore the shouting from the other drivers. A line of cars has formed behind your expensive Mercedes, but you ignore that as well and begin to walk. Two blocks don’t sound too bad, but it is a hot day, and you feel uncomfortable quickly. You have to loosen your tie because it feels constricting around your neck. That's not the only piece of clothing feeling wrong. Your step feels heavier, and you have to scratch yourself multiple times, trying to readjust the expensive Italian dress shirt, which is suddenly not sitting right.
Finally, you arrive at your office building. You don't even want to look down on yourself. You can feel your shirt clinging to your body and you feel disgusted by your appearance. Good thing this will all be over soon.
As you approach the elevator, you notice that you don't have your wallet at the ready - you must have forgotten it at the car. Ignoring the fact that you just now have realized the lack of its weight and the fact that you never leave your wallet in your car, you go to the reception for an elevator.
The receptionist, a perfectly styled young woman, watches as you approach and smiles.
"Hello Sir, what can I do for you today?"
"An elevator to my office." you say, adding a "Please." although you don't really feel like it.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but what exactly is your office?"
You look at the receptionist dumbfounded.
"My office." You repeat slower now.
"I don't know you sir, you need to be more specific." The young woman smiles.
That's it.
"What do you mean you don't know me?!" You shout. "I own this fucking place. It is me, Jameson Pierce! Now call me an elevator and then pack your things, you are fired!"
The receptionist looks at you as if she was dealing with a madman.
"Sir, you are not in the company register and I'm sorry, but if you don't leave the premises immediately, I'll call security."
"What are you talking about? I have an office on the 50th floor, which is where I need to go!"
"You can't have an office there, sir, that is the executive offices. Now, please leave."
"Listen, girl." you lean closer, invading her space. "Call. Me. An. Elevator. Or else."
The young woman doesn't even flinch. She presses the intercom and speaks with a steady voice: "Security, there is a madman in the lobby. Please come and remove him."
"You little...", you start, but the young woman is done talking to you. Instead, she turns away and starts to file her nails, waiting for security, which arrives some seconds later.
"Good!" You address the bulky Black man in the dark security uniform. "Could you please tell the girl that I have an office on the top floor."
"I don't think so." the man replies, "But I can show you the exit. Follow me, Sir."
"No. I am the CEO. I own the company! My father James Pierce gave it to me!"
The security guard shrugs his shoulders and takes hold of your arm.
"As far as I know, Mr. Pierce has no children. Leave the premises, Sir."
"But... you can't treat me like that! Do you know who I am?"
The Black man doesn't reply, instead, he begins dragging you towards the door. Unsurprisingly, he is much stronger than you, and your expensive shoes drag over the marble tiles.
"You can't do this!" You yell. "I will sue the company! You will all lose your jobs, just watch!"
"Whatever you say, Sir." The man pushes you outside the building. You stumble a little and then turn around, but the door is already closing.
"Fuck you!" You shout after the guard.
You take a deep breath. Whatever is going on here, it's not good. What to do.
After some consideration, you decide to grab your wallet from your car and take a cab home. There, you will deal with all of this.
As you arrive at your car again, you come just in time to see it being towed away. All running behind it and shouting does not help. You almost cry as you see the towing truck disappear around a corner, along with your car, your wallet and everything else you left in there. As you turn around to leave the scene and walk home, the next disaster is already waiting for you. There is a muddy sinkhole in the sidewalk, left over from some construction work and you don't notice it until it's too late. The next moment, you find your right leg standing in stinking mud all up to your knee. You try to free your leg, of course, and it works, sort of. With a smacking noise, the mud swallows your right shoe whole and leaves you with one dirty sock.
This day can't possibly get any worse, you think, but you are wrong.
Half an hour later, you have to admit that you got lost entirely. You are in a part of the city you have not been in before. Usually, you navigate the city with your cars GPS, but that is not available. You try to use the cheap phone to find out where you are (stoically ignoring the fact that it unlocks just fine with your fingerprint) but the only thing you find is that whoever owns the device has not paid for mobile data. You are offline. You could, of course, ask someone, but it takes some courage to ask a stranger where you are, especially in your current state.
Finally, you realize that you have to ask someone if you want to get home anytime soon. Right now, you find yourself in front of a landfill, which is both a blessing and a curse. It smells absolutely disgusting, but at least the people working here should have a good idea on how you can get home.
You enter the building with the grimy walls and look around.
"Hello?", you ask into the empty room. You are just about to leave again, when a burly man comes from the back. He is at least a head taller than you and twice as broad. His clothing is dirty, and you can see tufts of body hair coming out the top of his shirt and his armpits. Absolutely revolting.
The man looks at you for a second before shrugging his shoulder.
"Whatever." he says. "What's your name, kid?"
Needless to say, you are confused. "I am Jameson Pierce. Could you please..."
However, the big man interrupts you again. "Fancy name. I'll call you Jerry, okay? Come with me, I'll show you around."
"Wh-what do you mean?", you stutter but follow the man automatically.
"You're the new hire, aren't you? Gotta say, you're pretty scrawny, Jerry. But the job has no requirements, so if you don't mind getting your hands dirty, you're gonna fit in fine. Here are the lockers. The name's Hank, by the way."
You look around. You are in a room with a dozen dirty lockers. There is a foul stench everywhere and you have to suppress the urge to gag.
"No, I'm not new here. And I don't want to work here, or get my hands dirty!" you protest, but Hank ignores your lamenting.
"It's not gonna be easy finding an overall in your size, but we have a few small ones here as well. By the way, the overalls are shared with the other boys, hope you don't mind. Ah here. Try this one."
Hank throws you an overall. It is, in theory, blue, but both your nose as well as your eyes tell you one thing: It is entirely unwashed. For days, possibly for weeks. The clothing reeks of sweat, dirt, piss and probably even more things that you don't even want to know about.
"What's wrong with you? I am not gonna wear that."
"Well, what did you think when you came here?" Hank is clearly amused. "You can't work in these clothes of yours, even if they are dirty enough. Come on, strip, while I look for boots."
"I won't do that." you say. However, Hank is already gone. You don't think about it too much and begin to take off your expensive clothes. It is almost painful, but for some reason you... have to? It's a difficult to describe feeling. The dirty blue overall is sitting next to you on the locker room bench and is almost inviting you. You can't help it. You just have to strip. Soon, you stand in the dirty locker room clad in only your silk boxer shorts. You didn't notice that every piece of clothing you have taken off somehow changed. Your expensive dress shirt became a cheap t-shirt with stains on it. Your pants turned into a pair of ripped jeans and your golden wrist watch just... vanished.
"If I were you, I would be going commando." Hank, who had returned with a pair of work boots you can smell from over there, comments. "You're going to move around a lot. Besides, all the boys are doing it.
You look at the overall again, almost gagging now. Some other guys have worn it, rubbing their bare asses and dicks into the fabric. And Hank expects you to do the same. Suddenly, you remember the smell. Sweat, piss and other smells. You shudder. You shudder in... anticipation? As you automatically lower your boxer shorts (who turn into plain cotton briefs as you do), you can feel yourself growing hard at the thought of stepping into this dirty overall. At the same time, you are disgusted beyond measure.
Still, it's almost like your arms are on auto-pilot as you step into the overall and pull it up around your naked body, until the disgusting smell envelops you.
"Glad you like it." Hank grins and playfully grabs your very obvious erection through the dirty fabric. "You might want to meet up with some of the boys here in the locker room after shift, I hear some of them need to release some steam after a good shift. Now, come on. Pull the boots and get moving, we don't have time to waste."
You stare blankly at the big man as you realize what he just said.
"Wait." you stutter. "You think... You think I'm..."
"You're gay." Hank interrupts. "No worries. A lot of the boys are."
You can't believe what he's saying. Gay? You?
"But I am not!"
Hank doesn't even seem surprised.
"You might want to tell that to your hard cock. Anyway. Boots."
He tosses the dirty boots in front of you, and you find yourself bending down to pull them up. They are a little bit too large and feel like they are made of rubber, not leather. As soon as you have both of them on, Hank nods approvingly and then grabs you by the arm, pulling you out of the locker room and towards the garbage truck.
The next few hours pass quickly. The other men (it seems the job has exclusively male company) are friendly but don't go easy on the "newcomer". Everybody calls you Jerry and you have to do the most disgusting work you have ever done: Hauling full bins to the truck, sorting through garbage, cleaning up spilled garbage from the streets. Still, nobody is complaining and so you don't, either. After all, there are more pressing concerns: You feel dirty, your whole body is covered in a thick layer of sweat and dust. Your hands are filthy, and so is your face. And the worst part of it all is: A part of you is enjoying it, a lot. At first, the part is strictly physical. You have a boner pretty much the whole time, and whenever you need to do something especially disgusting, it visibly and violently throbs against your work pants - a fact that doesn't escape the rest of the boys.
After a while, though, more changes set in. The full bins appear to become lighter and easier to move. Of course, that isn't the case: Your muscles grow in front of your eyes, and the overall, that was a bit too big, fits better and better. Hair starts to grow on your chest, your legs and arms, and stubble forms in your face. Your carefully maintained hairstyle dissolves into an unkempt mess on your head.
But the changes don't stop there. Overall, you feel like you are getting more and more youthful. You weren't terribly old to begin with, in your mid-thirties, but a strange energy makes you feel more like end-twenties, mid-twenties and finally, like a man who just turned 21.
At the same time, however, your personality changes as well. You start to talk less and less, and when you do, the words aren't quite as sharp as before. Your education slips away with every word you say, and your vocabulary is replaced by slang, often with a bit of swearing. It becomes more and more difficult to think, too. The boys quickly pick up on this and joke around you not being the sharpest. It's not that they're wrong. You're dumb, if you're being honest. School wasn't for you, so you dropped out at some point. Bit by bit, you really become Jerry, the dumb, sweaty, smelly garbageman. And Jerry, unlike Jameson, enjoys the dirt around him. You can hardly remember being a clean and smart businessman, and that's alright with you. Even though your thoughts are slower, however, the memories of your former self are not gone entirely. Every once in a while, you remember who you used to be. But at the latest when the shift ends and you and the rest of the horny boys are going to the locker room, you decide that this is, indeed, a simpler and a better life.
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There is literally a metric ton of more pictures here, in my tip jar - variations of Jerry at the end. If you like my writing, consider joining the riot page for a tip (and ocassional additional pictures)
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For your safety
Self-Aware! BSD x SAGAU Imposter crossover
Self-Aware! Tetchou Suehiro x GN! Reader
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Description: Monster followed after you. Tetchou won't let him hurt you.
Warning: OOC. Implied torture. Mentioned of serious injuries. Nightmares. Panic Attack (heavily inspired by "Puss in Boots: The last wish" scene), English is my second language. Dehumanisation (Capitano calls Reader 'it', Captaino is called an 'it' by Hunting Dogs). Tetchou is a soft protective yandere (yandere, if you squeeze) towards Reader.
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Who would think, that Watasumi will let Fatui into Enkonomia.
But, catching Imposter was more important, than honoring old traditions.
Because Imposter was here.
And it was finally in Capitano's clutches.
Dirty Imposter, a creature, that dared to walked on the land, blessed by the Creator.
This thing was hiding in an old ruins.
Dressed in rugs, it was biting huge chunks from mushrooms it cooked earlier.
Capitano adjust his hold on claymore's hilt. Just one swing, and it will finally stop poisoning Teyvat.
Capitano took a step forward.
And he made a mistake. He stepped on a twig.
It turned around. It looks scared. It has dried tears on its cheeks.
It ran. As fast, as it can.
And Capitano followed after it.
He catches it.
He raised its claymore.
And Bathysmal Vishaps attacked him.
The damned oversized lizards were attacking non-stop. Keeping Capitano away from it.
Fatui Harbinger saw, how it was riding away on one of the vishaps.
Capitano failed.
_______
It, eventually, was caught.
Justice was almost served.
Until it disappeared.
_______
Capitano, the strongest warrior of Teyvat, head of the Holy Guard, was laying on a deck of a small boat. The boat itself was covered under camouflage awning from camouflage net, seaweeds, rotten wood, old bones of sea serpent and dried dead fish. Few mechanical birds finish the picture. The camouflage was done so skillfully that even from a close distance the boat could easily be mistaken for a dead creature, entangled in garbage and slowly driven by the waves.
The navigation was hard, almost impossible. But Capitano didn't utter a word of protest. He must find, where the dreaded Imposter was hiding.
One month ago, right during their execution, they disappeared. And ever since then, Capitano was ruthless.
If it weren't for vishaps, Capitano would kill it. Capitano was too weak.
So, it was his fault, that Creator was in distress. That, while they were remaining perfect in every way, their cheeks have wet trails from tears on them.
But, this time, Capitano will do it.
He learned about a strange portal in one of the coves, located on a small island in the sea.
Capitano destroyed all documents he had.
No need to worry Creator even more.
He will get to the island unnoticed. And he will get Imposter's head.
The boat finally reached the island.
There were no humans, no animals.
And the portal was here.
Capitano stepped into the portal.
________
Tetchou tuck you in, making sure, that you are laying comfortably under your blanket.
"[Y/N], I will go and bring you some flowers, okay?" softly mumbles Tetchou, looking at you. You nodded, the corners of your lips weakly quirked upwards.
"Sounds good." whispered you. Tetchou's finger ran through your hair. He liked, that you started to smile. He didn't like, that smile didn't reach your eyes.
Tetchou left, and Atsushi Nakajima walked inside your room to stay with you.
Tetchou heard Atsushi's voice behind the closed door. It seems, he was telling you a story.
Tetchou bit his lip and headed to the first floor. He needs to go outside and pick you some flowers.
Maybe, they will lift your mood, at least for a moment.
But, before going here, Tetchou took his sword from his room. In case, people, who did this to you, appeared.
Two months ago, you disappeared. No matter, how hard they try, they couldn't find you. Until, one day, one month ago, you reappeared again.
And you looked awful.
Every part of your body were covered in burns, woulds and scars. You were starving, thirty, and terrified.
Doctor Yosano treated your wounds.
All of them made sure, that you are well-fed and always have water.
And they were doing whatever it takes to help you regain your mental health.
You were terrified of being alone.
And there were always at least one of them next to you.
You were terrified of being hit.
And they were treating you like the most fragile thing in the world.
You were terrified of Mori's voice.
And Boss of Port Mafia spoke only through Elise, whispering in her ear. He never raised his voice.
You have nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night, crying, shouting, that you are not an imposter, begging someone invisible not to hurt you.
And they were always near you, hugging you, drying your tears.
And mentally thinking about killing people, who did this to you.
Tetchou's hate was focused on Capitano.
________
A heavy foot stomped on your stomach, just below your ribs. It took all of your air out of lungs. You gasp, your mouth was wide open, but couldn’t get any air.
Capitano's booming voice filled your ears.
"Got you, little Imposter. Now, let me take that. We don't want you to miss it, aren't we?"
Two fingers pressed against your eyes.
A sharp, unbeatable burning pain.
"Here. Now, you won't be able to close your eyes ever again. Well, it's not like this ever will last for long."
Capitano raised his claymore.
You wanted so badly to close your eyes. But you don't have eyelids anymore.
The blade quickly sank down. Right in your face.
_______
Blood ponded in your ears.
You were breathing heavily.
Your heart was beating fast. You won't be surprised, if your whole body was shaking because of your heartbeats.
You can't focus your gaze in anything. Everything seemed like in a fog.
No sound escaped from your lips. Your moth and throat feels dry. Like you spent all your life without single drop of water.
You were choking. You were crying. You were sweating. You couldn't hear anything.
A heavy stone hand was put over your eyes. Now you were surrounded by darkness.
A heavy stone head was put on your chest. And it was moving.
up... down... up... down...
up... down... up... down...
up... down... up... down...
up... down... up... down...
up... down... up... down...
in... out... in... out...
in... out... in... out...
in... out... in... out...
in... out... in... out...
in... out... in... out...
You put your hand on Tetchou's head, that he laid on your chest. You whisper.
"Thank you... Tetchou..."
He took his hand away from your eyes. You two were silent. Tetchou were still breathing in the same rhythm.
And you were breathing with him.
______
Tetchou never told you, that you were screaming one name in your sleep.
And it was a scream of terror.
Capitano.
His enemy.
Tetchou was halfway to the flower beds, that Kenji made specifically for you, when he heard a loud crash coming from an empty barn.
_____
This man was huge.
Much taller, than Tetchou, dressed in strange armor, the man was towering over the member of Hunting Dogs.
Both males stood on the opposite sides of the barn. Tetchou was still standing near bars gates, while strange mad stand on the furthest wall.
Yellowish-ember eyes stare right into the black void of a mask.
"Who are you?" Tetchou's voice was emotionless. The man's booming voice echoed off the walls of the empty barn.
"I am Capitano, one of the Fatui Harbingers. I am searching for a sinful creature. Have you encountered an ugly creature this big?" Capitano moved his hand forward to show your height. "It has hideous..."
The rest of the words stuck in Capitano's mouth. A thin blade pierce through his palm, shoulder and sword's tip draw blood from his neck.
Tetchou didn't even move an inch. His eyes shrink.
"So... You are the same Capitano, who dared to hurt My Sakura Blossom... Our [Y/N]."
Tetchou dash forward.
And the floor cracked under his feet.
______
Tetchou never moved so fast in his life.
His sword was bending in impossible corners, piercing through Capitano's armor. Wounding, drawing blood.
Not killing.
The Strongest Warrior of Teyvat couldn't land a hit. Tetchou's determination to protect you, to avenge you, to keep you safe gave his strength.
The fight ended, when Tetchou manage to grab the hilt of Capitano's claymore.
Tetchou never used his ability on two-handed sword. Yet, a sword is a sword.
Without his legs, Capitano wasn't so tall anymore.
______
Capitano woke up in a room, that looked similar to Dottore's lab. He was suspended from the ceiling. Heavy chain was holding his arms together.
Hunting Dogs, except for Tetchou, were here. Jouno was the first one, who noticed, that Capitano was awake.
"So, it is finally decided to wake up." Jouno's voice was cold. Deadly.
Tachihara used his ability, to tie chains tighter. Accidentally' breaking Capitano's arm in a process.
"Here. It won't escape."
Teruko was almost dancing in one spot.
"Finally, I was dreaming about the moment I can get my hands on anyone, who dared to hurt our dear [Y/N]."
Fukuchi put his hand on Amenogozen's hilt.
"You aren't the only one, Teruko-kun. Doctor Yosano, should we start?"
Yosano, who was sitting in the dark corner, nodded.
Capitano got a taste of her ability for a few thousand times.
_____
Tetchou put flowers he picked for you in a vase. He noticed, how brighten up your eyes.
"They are beautiful, Tetchou. Thank you."
And a small smile. And this time, it reached your eyes.
Tetchou opened his arms, offering a hug.
And you hugged him, laying your head on his chest.
His arms wrapped around your frame. Protecting you from the outside world.
Tetchou promised to himself, that he will go beyond limits to protect your smile. No matter what, he will do anything he can.
For your safety
_____
Tag list: @withered-blossoms
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Text
man I just want to write the angsty scenes
must I establish characters? is it not enough to just jump immediately into the conflict?
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iamfakeu · 2 months
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painting
— alastor x reader
IN WHICH alastor reminisce over his favourite memory of you
NOTE: this is garbage but ive had this idea since yesterday. also, i could make a whole series on this to make this story clearer but i’ll see if i’m free 🤧
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The faint red glow of hell’s sky shines through the windows of the Hazbin Hotel. Alastor was walking down the halls, making sure that everything was in its place. After all, he wouldn’t let his newest project fail already, right?
There were many paintings decorating the hallways. Many of them were of hell’s royalty; specifically Charlie and her family.
However, one of them stood out from the rest. It was a portrait of you. The main spectacle of the painting was obviously your figure, being surrounded by butterflies as you stared straight towards the viewer of the painting.
He felt nostalgic, seeing your face once again. He doesn’t acknowledge that many demons but you specifically had a special place in his mind.
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“Alastor, look!” You held up the small butterfly that flew onto your hand.
“Ah, that’s wonderful my dear.” He sips tea by the balcony of your shared house as he watches you sit down beside him.
You had always been the free spirit, always sharing your wonderful mindset to Alastor. Perhaps that’s what he loved the most about you, the way you would act yourself around him.
“So, do you still have any of those girl fans in your radio show?” Your sudden change in attitude was laughable to him as he sensed the jealousy from you.
“Oh? What’s with the random thought, love?” He smiles at you with half-lidded eyes, silently mocking your jealousy.
“Well, what if they manage to steal your heart, huh?” It was now clear that you were being upset over this simple thought.
“Listen, Y/N,” He places down his cup and holds onto both of your shoulders. “Nothing would make me want to leave you. Even Heaven or Hell can’t intervene because my love for you is stronger than anything, is that understood?”
You were absolutely dumbfounded but yet you kissed him. “You’re amazing, you know that right?”
“Of course I am, my dear. You deserve the best after all.”
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Alastor sighs, remembering that memory from his days in earth. He truly did miss you. Now the only thing he can remember you by was this painting.
It was just a shame that you had to be executed before you can properly live your life in hell with him.
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©2024 iamfakeu, do not copy :)
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disabilityreminders · 8 months
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Tips for Cleaning
Cleaning is one of those tasks that a lot of us find exhausting, overwhelming or just overall daunting for a number of reasons. It could be related to executive dysfunction, disabilities or just feeling overall burnt out. 
While it’s a good reminder that your space not being clean doesn’t affect your worth in any way, sometimes being in a mess makes us feel worse and we really want to fix it. The question is, where can you start when it’s already so overwhelming? 
Please keep in mind that a lot of my suggestions might not work for you personally. And if that’s the case, that’s really valid but hopefully they can help you come up with your own ideas! 
This might be more overwhelming for some, so don’t do this if you think this wouldn’t work for you. But for me personally, I like to go into a room and make a list of that room. This list might include wiping things down, sweeping, moving garbage, etc. I do this for any and all rooms I have the energy for. Having a written list makes it feel less overwhelming to me. I can just pick an item and cross it off. I tend to cross off the quicker/easier items first because making my list look smaller makes it seem more manageable. You can break the tasks down as much or as little as you want. I personally like to have “wash dishes”, “put away dishes” as two separate tasks while others might just want to put “dishes.” 
If you can’t think of things to put on the list, I find that googling some generic cleaning lists helps me get started and reminds me of what tasks to include. 
Now I’d like to share some general tips for cleaning when it’s overwhelming that help me! 
Break it Into Little Steps
There aren’t really any major rules for cleaning. Things got a lot easier for me when I realized I don’t have to do it all at once. When I’ve had the dishes pile up in the past beyond a point of manageable for me, I made a deal with myself. Every time I went to use a new dish, I had to wash that dish and one other dish (or a couple utensils). This ensured that the pile gradually got smaller each time I used a dish but made it a manageable amount for me. 
The same can be said for things like folding laundry. I would fold a piece anytime I walked into my bedroom. I would pick up garbage anytime I walked by it and toss it. Over time, it felt like it looked more manageable and I was able to just focus and get it all done. Sometimes we find this helps us jumpstart the task because for me, starting is the hard part. But once I start, I’m able to keep going. Telling myself I only have to do “two dishes” or “dishes for 5 minutes” made it seem a lot more manageable to look at it as a small thing. But often I’d find as I got going that I was able to keep going. 
Combine it With Something You Enjoy
For me, cleaning while doing something I enjoy has helped a lot! I love to fold laundry while I watch my comfort show. It’s one of those tasks that I can do while still doing something I love. I find I don’t focus so much on the folding and the pile is getting smaller before I know it. 
Some other ideas of things you can do: 
Listen to a playlist that makes you feel pumped up (maybe even have a dance party if you're up to it.)
Listen to an audio book or podcast
Have a show playing in the background that you enjoy
While it’s considered its own thing as “body doubling” sometimes, having company helps. Even if that’s just talking to a friend on the phone, or even texting with a friend while we both clean our own spaces. It’s kind of like an accountability buddy and leaves me feeling like I’m not doing it alone. 
Make cleaning a game! This might include things like picking a colour and then only dealing with things with that colour like only folding blue clothing, washing blue dishes, etc. This might include rolling dice and assigning certain tasks to certain numbers. Or it might be something silly like cleaning while pretending you're your favourite character or even something like a robot. You could use mannerisms or phrases that they would use and react to things how you think they would. (It might be fun to pretend to be a villain having to do your own chores because your "minion" disappeared for the day. How unimpressed would they be? What would they say while they folded laundry?)
Adjust the Tasks to be Easier for You
One thing that holds me back from cleaning is I’m in a lot of pain usually. Things got a lot easier for me once I realized that I can make adjustments as needed. For me, even though I can’t do it all at once, I found sitting to sweep was really helpful! 
Other ideas:
Use disposable cleaning wipes. There are even disposable options for toilet wands and things like that! I found the act of filling up a bowl with hot water and cleaner to be the thing that would freeze me. Just grabbing a wipe, or using a spray and paper towel was a game changer for me. 
While a lot of people do this already, I’ve heard others that don’t but I definitely recommend soaking your dishes in hot, soapy water. It makes them significantly easier to wash. 
Get a duster with an extendable handle so you don’t have to get up on chairs or things like that. 
Invest in a grabber tool. This is a tool that can be used to grab things in hard to reach places, or if you have difficulty bending. 
Get a chair that's easy to move around. This can allow you to do tasks like sweeping or wiping stuff down while sitting. I personally have a rolling chair!
Some General Tips 
If you’re finding it too overwhelming to start, try setting a timer for something like “10 minutes” and then see what you can get done in 10 minutes. You could start by grabbing all the garbage, or clearing a table or something that’s straight forward and can help you start. 
Don’t overdo it. It’s okay to pace yourself. In fact, you should. Take your time getting caught up, and once you do, try to do something small every day rather than trying to cram a lot into one day. 
It’s okay to just do one thing. This kind of ties back into how I caught up on my dishes. My friend has to pack to move and she’s having to organize her things into what she’s packing, donating, or discarding. She made a deal with herself that each day she would handle a set number of items. (A number like 5, 10, or 15). If you need to de-clutter, planning on finding just 5 items a day to get rid of might be a good place to start. 
Find some structure. I personally like printing a cleaning planner that breaks down my weekly, monthly and sometimes tasks that are every few months. It also helps me because I’m not sure how often I should be doing things like cleaning out my fridge, or bigger tasks like that. Having a check list and when I should be doing it helps a lot. 
It’s okay to ask for help! I know that we often feel ashamed of asking for help, or showing someone our space if we don’t think it’s clean enough. But it is absolutely okay to ask a friend for help. My friend regularly found laundry exhausting and overwhelming. When it fell behind on her, it paralyzed her. I would go and fold her laundry for her. And it helped her feel less bad about that when she’d do me a favour. (For example, she loves to cook and I’m often too drained to, so she made me some meal prep.) 
Find products you like! I love using certain scented products and while I never get excited about cleaning, there is something I enjoy about smelling them! 
Focus on one room at a time if you can. When it’s overwhelming, I even just pick a corner of the room and work my way out. 
Reward yourself! This might not work for everyone, but I love doing this. If I do this one task, then I get to do something fun. I’ve actually assigned tasks certain point amounts because I love seeing my “points” climb up and then I get a bigger reward at bigger numbers. (Also I always recommend cute stickers for your lists!) 
Take a before picture or video. Sometimes, we find that we can’t see progress despite being at it for awhile. It’s easier to forget where you started and seeing the progress can be really motivating! 
You don't have to follow a set of rules! What I mean by this is it's okay if you don't put away your dishes. Just because you've been taught that's a part of doing dishes doesn't mean you have to put them away. If it doesn't bother you, it's totally okay to leave the clean dishes in the sink and use them as needed! Try and get it out of your head that you need to follow a certain set of rules and do what's right for you.
Cleaning is overwhelming. While a cleaner living space can make us feel better mentally, I do want to remind you again that living in a mess is not a moral failure. You aren’t less worthy if you’re in a mess. You are still worthy, valuable and enough as you are. 
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dduane · 8 days
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Salutations and good wishes to you. I am an Indie Author seeking to go Pro. Some good advice and guidance might help minimise the mountain of my anxiety about doing this. I know you got your start with fanfiction, but did you find a publisher/agent through that door? [lots sneer at these days. Still] How many rejections did you suffer before you found your place in the literary world? Thanks for your time and sorry for bothering you <3
Hi there! And don't sweat it: this is no bother.
I have to apologize in advance, because my own career arc isn't likely to serve as much of a good example. In terms of how I got into this business, I'm a serious outlier.
Quickest and easiest to discuss: my agent and I got together after my first book was already bought and published. (Which back in the day was seen as a good enough way to go forward, and then still entirely possible.) He was recommended to me by one of my editors, as—like me—he was just getting started in the business: a likely-looking newcomer then scouting new talent. We met up and chatted, and it seemed to both of us that we'd be a good fit for each other. After forty-odd years of working together, we still are.
About the fanfic: (Adding a cut here so as not to carpet people's dashes with wall-to-wall text...)
What writing all that fic did for me—from about age sixteen onwards—was give me a whole lot of practice in getting the initial garbage associated with a story written and out of the way. Best to admit it here: we all have plenty of crap writing in us. And yeah, even long-term professional writers do. Whether you're at the beginning of your career or right in the middle of it, this is what "zero drafts" are for. You tell yourself the story, first time out... and routinely at this stage a lot of what proves to be unusable stuff emerges, and can be discarded in rewrite. (Of course crap writing can also emerge without warning in the later stages of a project, but there are many reasons for that, all beyond the scope of this discussion.) And you learn even more from reworking the material after you've gotten rid of the dross.
During the period when I was executing what might have been, oh, half a million words of fanfic—Trek originally, and then LoTR—and while reading a whole lot of everything, as I'd been doing since I was first allowed to go raid the town library by myself at age eight—I learned a fair amount about writing without realizing it. Some of it was simply about writing inside a set of rules. (Which I hadn't been doing previously: between eight and sixteen I was writing original fiction, mostly fairy tales.) Naturally in fanfic you have to obey the laws of whatever universe you're working in... or even if you wind up flouting them consciously, you do have to be conscious of them. But this work also led me to something that I hadn't really spent a lot of time thinking about: the concept that fiction writing as a whole had rules. I realized I'd better find out what those were.
The best stuff I found out during this period was what I picked up by direct example from other writers, whom I'd immediately start imitating and then sort of leave by the wayside when I found others I liked better; at which point I'd start imitating them. (This being a great way to learn and hone new skills, and to start getting a sense of what a writer's "voice" is and can come to mean. I think every writer does this, to some extent: because it's really, really tough to learn how to write without reading. And the more extensively the better.)
I have to emphasize here, BTW, that the fanfic that came out of me as I started slogging up this learning curve was all almost uniformly terrible. All of it, mercifully, along with my earliest original fiction, is gone now: long since burnt, shredded, composted under many layers of time. Trust me, it's just as well. Gah was it awful! Nobody else ever saw the stuff, for which I thank great Thoth every time I think about it. ...What's interesting, too, in its way, was that I didn't even know that what I was doing was fan fiction. I had as yet no contact with any kind of organized fandom, and it would be a long time yet before "online" was invented. I was working in utter isolation, unaware that anybody else might have been doing the same thing. (And it's difficult to describe the sense of astonishment and joy that hit me the first time I went to an SF convention, saw fanzines for the first time, and found out that I was not alone. All unsuspecting, I'd stumbled onto one of my tribes.)
But somewhere along the line, as the years went by—as I finished high school and went to college, and then from there to nursing school, and graduated and started working as a psychiatric nurse, and kept on writing—at some point, as I started writing original fiction again, as well as fanfic, the quality of the output began to improve. The combination of constant practice and voracious reading of better writers outside my chosen genre was slowly having an effect. Trusted friends who saw this later material started saying, "This isn't bad, you should try to get it published!" But since none of these folks were writers, I didn't pay too much attention to their opinions.
I did pay attention, though, when my good friend and mentor David Gerrold said something similar on reading my first novel in 1976. And when that was bought by the first publisher who read it, I had to admit he might have had something there.
This too, though, is unfortunately also a way I'm an outlier: I haven't had a lot of rejection. (Even in my TV work, where rejection is pretty much the rule rather than the exception.) Speaking very generally, just about anyone I've pitched something to in the prose market has bought it—or if they didn't like the idea I came in with, they've immediately said "But would you like to do this instead?" And often enough, what they've offered or suggested has been something that sounded like fun. That's how I wound up doing the Star Trek: Rihannsu books, for example: they were "instead of" a Romulan dictionary. Paramount essentially ringfenced an entire AU-area of Trek and gave it to me to play in, which struck me at the time as amazing. And continues to do so.
Now all this may make me sound almost unfairly lucky. But things do tend, slowly or quickly, to balance out. Over time the universe has made up for its relative kindness at the rejection end of things by making sure I knew plenty about the non-rejection forms of writer-career pain: projects from which I was not rejected but which went terribly wrong (wheels come off a huge deal just before signing, promised actors or directors fail to materialize...), projects where I did the work but didn’t get paid, or where I was brought on board and then got fired/ghosted unreasonably or for no reason at all, or sometimes (mortifyingly) for quite good reason. And let's not forget how, as what could seem a very pointed shot across my bow when my career-vessel was just pulling out of port, half the print run of that very-much-buzzed-about debut novel wound up being pulped in the warehouse because another, far better-established writer's new book needed the pallet space that mine had been taking up. (insert rueful smile here) Believe me, entropy is running, and will catch up with you one way or another. So make yourself as ready for it as you can.
I don't mean to increase your anxiety. Yet that said: you're preparing to enter a business in which, for a freelancer, at least some level of anxiety is more or less part of the basic ground of being. You are going to have to develop ways of dealing with the everyday forms of that to keep it from routinely derailing your work.
I find it helps a little if you can come to consider this as a modern form of Going On An Adventure. Good things will happen; bad things will happen; and all of these will be in service of building your career. Think of yourself as being on a quest.
Your job now becomes the business of suiting up with the best equipment and advice you can find (ideally not from outliers like me). The web is full of useful pages on subjects such as how to query and how to find an agent.
Here are links to some.
Compare these resources one against another to see how their different kinds of advice seem to stack up, and which ones are the most congenial for you.
Then use this data to start drawing your personal roadmap across the terrain. Get as clear as you can in your own mind about what you're trying to get out of being in this business: what kind of writing you want to do and what results you want to produce. Then set out, redrawing your road map as necessary as you keep moving forward through the new terrain.
And I wish you good fortune on the journey! (Because luck, as you can see from the above, can definitely be part of this... but fortune favors the prepared.)
Meanwhile, get out there and have a blast. :)
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its-your-mind · 8 months
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This is a call to action for all the PJO girlies (gender neutral) that I know are sleeper agents on this webbed site
Go read Trials of Apollo. Go do it. Do it right now.
I know what you’re thinking. “Tbh I didn’t love Rick’s writing towards the end of Heroes of Olympus” “There’s no Percy so why bother” “All of the Argo II crew are kinda OOC” and listen my friends. You are so valid to have those opinions. I felt the same way after Blood of Olympus. But listen to me. Look at me.
Now that you have had some time away, you must give these books another try. For me. For Uncle Rick. For the demon baby grain spirit who is only able to say his own name (Peaches).
Do not worry friends, I do not expect you to read just based on my say-so - I also provide:
A list of reasons why you (yes you) should go read the Trials of Apollo series right now gogogo:
(Spoiler warning - all broad plot things that you learn early on, but I know some people (including me) avoid that shit at all costs)
All the chapters are titled in bad haiku. Ya know that one scene in Titan’s Curse where Apollo just starts reciting apropos of nothing? That’s every chapter title. They’re all so bad it’s amazing.
Apollo is so up his own ass about everything, and it’s so cool to experience the same world through the eyes of someone who is not used to being in amongst the chaos
Oh yeah the plot. That’s a reason to read it.
Okay so
Basically Zeus continues his streak of being a shitty shit parent and decides to blame like… every bad thing that has happened on Apollo, and punish him by turning him mortal and enslaving him to a demigod girl named Meg who is a garbage gremlin with a little demon baby guard named Peaches (see above)
And like the A plot is they gotta save the oracles from shitty old Romans who wanna take over the world (stop me if you’ve heard this one before)
But like the B plot is about what it means to discover that you’ve fucked up, you’ve made mistakes, you’ve hurt people, and you gotta fucking own up to that shit
But also
You do not deserve to be punished for every horrible thing that has ever happened because of you, or even around you, and when a parental or authority figure in your life tells you that, they are an abuser and they are wrong
And yet
It can be so hard to fully separate yourself from them. Because for so long, they were all you had.
But that’s okay, because when you start to learn that the people who were supposed to care for you and love you were not actually doing that, there are people around you who will love you, who will support you, who will pick you up and hold you close and make sure you know that you are okay
And they can’t fix you
But they can give you the safe space to fix yourself
hmm that was an essay about themes and metaphors BUT THATS WHY YOU SHOULD READ IT
also there’s a wikipedia arrow who only speaks in Elizabethan prose (in all caps)
OH ALSO ALSO you get to see Will and Nico being a CUTE AS FUCK couple in the first book. Nico smiles. Also makes skeletons grow out of the ground when people annoy him. Fuck I love this little gay death boy so much.
AND. You get to see so MANY of your old friends. And they still! Get! Plot! And! Character! Development!! Even though they are only there for a little bit
OH OH OH there are two old lesbians who run a halfway house for people who are tangled up in magic shit with nowhere else to go
Did I mention Peaches? I did. He’s my favorite.
OH ALSO. This is “unreliable narrator” executed SO FUCKING WELL. Like, all narrators are unreliable. But Apollo used to be a FUCKING GOD. He has not had to deal with the reality of death all that much. He’s used to people praising his name and bowing down at his feet. But that ain’t happening!! And he is Unhappy about that!! But it also lets there be such a clear juxtaposition between what Apollo believes about himself and about the world and what is really true, which is such a wonderful way to write about recovery from trauma.
Ahem
Anyway it’s just real good Uncle Rick continues to knock it out of the park but he just did something different and we (at least I) needed some space from OG PJO fan brain before I could appreciate how fucking awesome this series is.
OH OH OH and if you like audiobooks Robbie Daymond (hello CR mutuals - yes, this is the one who is our beloved Blue Boi who we (Orym) so desperately need returned) is the audiobook narrator and he is. So fucking good. Absolutely NAILS the dramatic-ass-inner-monologue of this dramatic ass ex-deity. Also nails all the other voices as well. 15/10 audiobook narration I’m lichrally gonna go listen to other books JUST cuz he reads them.
okay why the fuck are you still here. GO. GET THESE BOOKS. If your public library does Libby you can absolutely get them on there. GO FORTH.
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vashtijoy · 8 months
Text
"why not join me instead?" akechi's "invitation" in conf 7
People come and go on whether this question of Akechi's is genuine or not. Opinions run the gamut from "I hate him for trying to take you away from your friends" to "Akechi wants Joker to be his accomplice".
Myself, I don't think Akechi means this as a serious question, for a number of reasons. I think this question is rhetorical.
Quick summary:
Conf 7 illustrates the similarity between Joker and Akechi, and that they're both committed to the showdown between them;
Rather than being an invitation, Akechi's question again illustrates that parallel—that neither of them will give up the things that matter to them to join the other, as Joker has asked him to do;
"I'll think about it" does not count towards the third awakening—and I can prove it. Rather, Akechi can't conceive that Joker would ever abandon his friends, and uses it as an outrageous example of something Joker would never do;
Joker's loyalty not only to his principles but to his friends is something Akechi values so much that he won't let Joker sacrifice it;
Akechi is not so much offering Joker a way out in conf 7 (there is no way out) as he's confirming for his own sake that Joker is still in the game. Is this still a battle between rivals, or is it an execution?
Let's take a look.
what is akechi really asking?
[long post is long]
Look at this line. Look at the question he's posing:
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Akechi いっそ君がこっちに来るってのは?⋯今の仲間を捨ててさ。 isso kimi ga kocchi ni kuru tte no wa?... ima no nakama o sutete sa Why not join me instead...? All you'd have to do is abandon the teammates you have now.
It's very easy to focus on the first half of this question and miss the second. But that second half is the important part, the sting in the tail. The Japanese is a great example of wa building suspense: "Instead, what if you come over to my side, (AND THEN WHAT, AKECHI???????)"
The sentence is left hanging, with the weight of it unspoken (since wa emphasises what comes after it); Akechi is obviously not done speaking. And indeed, when he continues, it's a doozy:
"though, of course, you'd have to dump the friends you have now." (Yes, I think "friends" is often a much better translation of nakama than "teammates", fight me; it's even often translated as "friend" in P5 itself, or indeed, awkwardly, as "teammates and friends".)
Akechi is using the same verb, suteru, that you use for tossing something in the trash; the parallel meaning, "ending a relationship", exists in Japanese too.
Ryuji, Morgana, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto, Futaba, Haru, everything you've all gone through together and everything you've been—Akechi is suggesting you toss them aside like garbage. For him.
Now, I think part of Akechi would very much like Joker to do that. But he also knows better than to expect it. Because he knows Joker so much better than that.
Akechi has seen firsthand how loyal Joker is to his friends—remember on 1/2 how he says he investigated them all? He's seen some of the things Joker will do for them. He expects that blind faith to lead Joker to his death, much as Yaldabaoth does. But he also respects it.
This boy who's never had a friend, who's convinced himself the whole idea is stupid, is still drawn to the loyalty he sees in Joker. Even as he's preparing his own ultimate betrayal, Akechi recognises Joker's commitment to others. He understands treachery is bad, even though he himself is a traitor—just as he understands that murder is bad, and that doesn't stop him, either.
This question of whether or not Joker will betray his friends (and Akechi specifically) comes back on 2/2, of course—and in force.
so why does he ask
Akechi is not proposing that the two of them run off together. He's not asking to see what Joker will say. He doesn't impulsively make the invitation, and then run away when Joker says yes. He is, in fact, not even asking. He poses the idea of Joker abandoning all his friends as a counterexample. It's supposed to be something Joker would never consider, something he will find morally repugnant.
Which is why, if Joker says yes, Akechi is shocked, and essentially tells Joker not to make such stupid spur-of-the-moment decisions. Akechi is making a rhetorical point about what Joker is asking of him.
Remember Joker's statement that leads into Akechi's question:
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Yeah. Joker either suggests that Akechi should give up everything he's doing and everything he believes in (even as Akechi confabulates about what those things really are), or he suggests, with the top option, that he's already done it.
And in return, Akechi says that Joker should join him... and throw away his friends and everything he's working for and everything he believes in, of course.
It's the second response to his question, where Joker turns him down flat, that makes it most obvious that this was what Akechi meant:
Joker それは無理だ sore wa muri da I'm not doing that. No way in hell. Akechi だろうね。 darou ne I thought as much. Akechi 分かるだろ、誰だって今の立場を簡単に捨てられやしないんだよ wakaru daro, dare datte ima no tachiba o kantan ni suterare yashinai n da yo I'm sure you understand. We all have our parts to play, and we can't simply leave those behind.
See what he's saying? ima no tachiba o kantan ni suterare yashinai—"we absolutely must not lightly set aside the positions we hold now".
Incidentally, yes, that's that same verb suteru that he used before, for casting aside or throwing away. Akechi is drawing a parallel between Joker's friends and his own goals—between the things each of them holds most dear, which neither of them will sacrifice, even to save the other. (Assuming you think Akechi would even be down to save Joker—but I do think conf 7 suggests that at this point, he might not be opposed to the possibility. It's just that it doesn't exist.)
the phone call
This parallel returns in the phone call afterwards, if you again tell him that you're rivals:
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It's a little hard to tell from the localisation what Akechi is getting at, so let's take a close look:
Akechi 僕らにはお互い譲れないものがあって、そのためにも負けられない。 bokura ni wa otagai yuzurenai mono ga atte, sono tame ni mo makerarenai [lit. for both of us, these are things we cannot compromise on, and because of those things we cannot suffer losing.] Neither of us can afford to lose, because we fight in service of our principles. It's the same for both of us. Neither of us can afford to lose, because of these principles we won't concede. Akechi ⋯だからこそ、もしも君が自分を曲げたりしたら絶対に赦さないよ。 ... dakara koso, moshi mo kimi ga jibun o megetari shitara zettai ni yurusanai yo [lit. that's exactly why, if you were to warp yourself [that way], I would absolutely never let such a sin (t/n: note the kanji) pass.] And that is precisely why... I cannot allow you to change. ... And that's precisely why, if you betrayed yourself that way... I couldn't allow it. Akechi だって、僕が負けたくないのは『君』なんだから。 datte, boku ga maketakunai no wa "kimi" nan da kara [lit. it's you as you are now who I do not want to lose to.] As you are now, as you think now... I cannot allow you to win over me. The person you are now, with those principles, and that determination—that's the one I won't ever allow to beat me.
Here's my attempt at a translation again, so you can see it all together:
Akechi: It's the same for both of us. Neither of us can afford to lose, because of these things we won't concede. Akechi: ...And that's precisely why, if you betrayed yourself that way... I couldn't allow it. Akechi: The person you are now, with those principles, and that determination—that's the one I won't ever allow to beat me.
It turns out that this phone conversation, that was originally quite mystical-sounding and hard to follow (what were you trying to say, Akechi?) is quite straightforward. It ties into to his original question. "Will I join you, Joker? Well, what if you join me instead? Just throw away all your little friends for my sake? Of course you won't—because we're the same. Both of us have things we can't give up, no matter what—and if you tried to do that, I wouldn't let you, because I value you as you are...."
This parallel between the two of them is what conf 7 is about, from the text message that opens it to the phone call that concludes it:
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It's the same thing again: neither of you can afford to lose, because you're fighting for your principles. The billiard table is the stage for this wider discussion.
The billiard scene, of course, is interesting for another reason—Akechi is giving Joker a chance to back out; he's testing his commitment, and perhaps hinting that he never intended to be quite where he is, either. He states at the outset that he's being indirect, that what he's saying is a metaphor—and then closes that metaphor with a very direct question: "Do you still intend to play this game?"
Akechi それでも君は、このゲームを降りる気はないの? sore demo kimi wa, kono geemu o oriru ki wa nai no? Even then... do you still intend to play this game? But despite all of that, you still won't fold, will you?
The Japanese is even more specific: Akechi asks Joker if he intends to fold—not whether he still wants to play, but whether he means to give up entirely! "This can't be what you expected, so how about it? Will you just give up? Does this mean as much to you as it does to me? Is this a game we both choose to play, or are you just a victim?"
How much of this is Akechi blowing smoke up his own ass?—casting the fact that he's about to murder the boy in front of him in a glowing, romantic light? Pretty much all of it, I'd say. He's dreamed of having a rival, someone to compete with who challenges him, but what he's got is quite a bit more than that.
Again, the rival imagery is what allows Akechi not only to accept this close relationship, but to frame it as a life-or-death contest that only one of them can win. It confirms to him that what Lavenza describes as "a truly unfair game" is actually fair. It's about making Joker's murder seem as much Joker's fault as his own.
but what happens if you say yes?
Despite all of this, you can choose to have Joker consider Akechi's "offer"—to discard Ryuji, Morgana, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto, Futaba and Haru like trash, and assist Akechi instead. It's tempting, I know.
I don't personally get the impression that Akechi likes this response, for a number of reasons. None of the three responses to his offer score confidant points, but there's something else in play: only one of these responses unlocks his third awakening.
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See the F code highlighted in yellow? Only one of these three responses has it. "You're my rival" counts towards the third awakening. Rejecting him, with "I'm not doing that", does not—but more to the point, offering to be with him, with "I'll think about it", also does not!
The issue is confused because a number of us have taken option 1 (or indeed option 2, like me) and still got the third awakening on 2/2. It seems like you need some of the flagged responses, not all of them. But it remains the case that "I'll think about it" does not make Akechi more likely to have his third awakening.
What happens if you take this option?
Joker 考えておく kangaete oku I'll think about it. Akechi へえ、考えてはくれるんだ? hee, kangaete wa kureru n da? Oh? So you'll think about it, at least? What? You mean you'll consider it? Akechi ⋯でも、そういうその場限りの情はやめた方がいい。 ...demo, sou iu sono ba kagiri no jou wa yameta hou ga ii ...But I'd advise you don't say these things without their due consideration. ... Still, it would be better if you didn't trust such fleeting sentiments. Akechi 出来もしない約束はするものじゃないよ。 deki mo shinai yakusoku wa suru mono ja nai yo You shouldn't make promises that you can't keep, anyway. Don't be the sort who promises the earth and walks away.
A few grammar points:
んだ n da on a question demands an explanation; Akechi's question could almost be rendered "Why on earth would you need/want to think about it?"
そういうその場限りの情 sou iu sono ba kagiri no jou—"sentiments that only matter here and now". Essentially, "sentiments that won't last"—or that are makeshift or ad hoc; Joker is making a stupid spur-of-the-moment decision.
yes, 出来もしない約束 deki mo shinai yakusoku translates idiomatically as "promising the earth". The point is not that Joker should not promise; the point is that he shouldn't be the sort of person who promises so much—and then doesn't follow through.
Again, this confidant is all about Akechi's expectations for Joker. It's about the weird belief he has in him, like the belief he has in Shido—that Joker has principles and friends and will stand by them, that those things are important and matter, even if they're diametrically opposed to Akechi's principles and the things he wants.
The fact that they foil each other in this way is a large part of what makes Joker such a worthy opponent for Akechi. So if Joker turns around and says, sure, Akechi, I'll dump all my friends so we can make out?
Akechi does not like that. He thinks better of him!—he loses respect if Joker offers this. Even if that little line about "promising the earth" suggests that, actually, yeah, he would quite like for the two of them to run away together—if only they lived in a world where it was possible.
what about "you're my rival"?
I've discussed this line before, but let's go into it for completeness.
Joker 明智は好敵手だ akechi wa koutekishu da You're my rival. Nah, you're my worthy opponent.
Do you see that Joker names Akechi there? He doesn't just say, "we're worthy opponents", or even "you're my worthy opponent", koutekishu da yo.
No, he picks Akechi out by name, and then tells him exactly what they are to each other. Because wa builds suspense. Akechi wa... (what?! what is he?!) koutekishu da. "I can't run away with you, because I need you to be this to me instead".
And this is the line with the F-code. This is the line that, if you choose it, will build towards Akechi's third awakening—which is centred on his trust in Joker, on the fact that Joker is worthy of that trust.
And how does Akechi respond?
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He's astonished. He did not expect this at all, look:
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On the left, the top screenshot where he's waiting for your answer; in the centre, the moment of shock, where he's pulled away and dropped his hand and his eyes are wide; on the right, a comparative overlay just to demonstrate that he pulled back.
smiles that aren't smiles
I have a half-assed theory that you can tell when Akechi is really smiling—because the model will smile with him. If you watch, for instance, Ryuji, the model's expressions match the sprite's almost exactly. But if you watch Akechi? Nah, not so much.
Here's an example. Akechi appears to smile quite often through conf 7—but if you glance away from the sprite and textbox to the model, the model is pokerfaced. Five smile sprites on the optimal route through conf 7, and not one of them—not even "you truly are fascinating"—matches the model:
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But when you pick "You're my rival"? Suddenly the model's face springs to life:
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It's obvious from everything else that this moment is of deep significance to Akechi. But this little detail with the smiles suggests we can confirm it.
and what does he say?
It doesn't take long for him to pull himself together:
Akechi 同意だね、僕らにはなれ合いより対等な関係こそふさわしい。 doui da ne, bokura ni wa nareai yori taitouna kankei koso fusawashii I agree. I think a relationship of equals suits us better than being co-conspirators, anyway...
This is another one that I find unclear in the localisation, so let's have at it.
nareai suggests an illicit or unduly-close union. It suggests "being in bed together" in the business sense—cosying up, colluding, conspiring. It suggests they're working together when they shouldn't be. Jisho uses the screamingly-outdated term "common-law marriage" (what we call "living together") as an example. Essentially, it suggests they're too close—or even co-dependent, in a way that corrupts them both.
In short? Akechi's "co-conspirators", nareai, means "accomplices"—what we might call "murder boyfriends".
taitouna kankei—literally, "an equal relationship"—is a set phrase, and we know what it means. It suggests a relationship where nobody is being cheated; where everyone gets out what they put in. Where the two of them compete on equal terms.
That's a very Akechi way to look at relationships. But it's also a relationship where nobody is in charge; nobody is dominant, and everyone has self-respect. Nobody is chasing after anyone or sacrificing unduly, as either would be if they joined the other. Everyone can be who they are and say what they want. Everyone can say no.
It's the sort of relationship Akechi very notably does not have with Shido. Is it the sort of relationship he has with Joker, when the two of them are hiding so much from each other and lying so much, and there's so much, like, murder going on? Nah. But as an aspiration, as a suggestion of the sort of relationship Akechi would like them to have, alongside everything else he's told us about how he sees the two of them—as similar, as equals and opposites, as bound by their principles, as destined to fight—it's almost touching.
and what does joker think?
Akechi ⋯たとえこの先、何があろうともだ。 ...tatoe kono saki, nani ga arou tomo da ...No matter what else may change. ...No matter what might come next. Akechi それだけの事を言ったんだから、逃げないでよ? sore dake no koto o itta n da kara, nigenaide yo? In any case, what you just said carries great weight. Remember what you decided, and don't run from it. All right? [lit. don't run away just because of what [I/you] said, all right?]
I'm not sure about this. It feels like it should be referring back to Akechi's last line—"don't get cold feet and run away just because I alluded ominously to whatever's coming next, okay?". I guess it could be referring to Joker's commitment, with "You're my rival"? IDK, I'm out on this one, so I'm inclined to give the localisation the benefit of the doubt.
But it doesn't matter. Because the significance of what Joker does next doesn't change:
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He nods. Akechi spends the whole confidant hinting that something ominous is coming, and that the two of them are heading to an inevitable confrontation, and Joker nods.
I don't think this is really consistent with interpretations where Joker is a meek little sheep in the interrogation room. Joker might not have chosen this, he might not have wanted it, he might have by far preferred to avoid it. He'd happily back out if Akechi would just drop the whole thing and agree to act sane. But he's committed to it. He agrees to fight.
Remember, conf 7 takes place after Joker hears the murder phone call. He knows what Akechi is. He knows what he's planning. He knows the stakes—and he agrees to play, to face Akechi down.
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To quote @nardaviel, that's no sheep. That's a full-on "Phantom Thieves win again, motherfucker" smirk. Joker played Akechi's game, with everything he had—and he played to win.
#persona 5#p5 meta#japanese language#shuake#goro akechi#ren amamiya#almost the worst part of this is that akechi respecting joker for his loyalty tells you how little he respects himself#also! 'i'll think about it' CANNOT POSSIBLY unlock the third awakening#because the third awakening is *all about trust* and saying yes to akechi proves that you're a traitor#and that 'i won't forgive you if you betray your principles' on the phone? also 2/2. this is exactly what he does if you take the deal#also!! joker makes a third option to akechi's question with 'you're my rival' and this is what astonishes him besides the thing itself#also! (per leonawriter) the maruki deal ending is essentially the nareai relationship#where akira has all the power and akechi..? well#nobody is themself or choosing for themself#also as regards whether akechi is lying he proves himself through action#'i won't let you betray yourself' - he did that already if you tried to take the deal#ALSO? that 'megeru' for 'i won't let you depart from your principles comes back on 2/2#as joker's 'i won't fold'#and ofc it's ALSO akechi's 'you'd fold over...' that precedes that. it was set up in conf 7 if you took the rival route#so tldr it's plausible that 2/2 is as much akechi fighting for his vision of joker as for his right to die. help???#ALSO. did you wonder why it's *awakening* akechi who comes to leblanc? the one closer to you who believes in you more?#this is exactly why. awakening akechi has faith left in you to lose. non-awakening akechi already lost that faith. BYE
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gatitties · 11 months
Note
NO BECAUSE !!!!!!!! i think we need more interactions of Assassin!Reader x Bonten 😩😩 (thank u for da reader who requested it bcs my 🫀 is beating happiness) or maybe you could make this a series??? 👀👀 bUT ANYWAYS can I request a Assassin!Reader x Bonten where Bonten was trying to find some info abt Reader but ofc Reader knows abt it so when there's a general meeting for the Bonten Executives, she appeared into the meeting like she was just watching them the whole time 🤣 and Reader is mad mad abt it. she doesn't want them to snoop around her life
(if u dont want to do this, its ok!!! no pressure. lovelots 🫰🏻)
─Yandere!Bonten x assassin!reader
─Summary: tired of so much persecution you decide to set the record straight, but you are only making a mistake
─Warnings: mención of blood, unwarranted obsession, toxic behaviors, yandere stuff
first of all, I still don't know how to write action or fight scenes, I'm sorry, second, many people will be grateful to you for the request, and third, how so many people liked it?! 😭🤚anyway, here you go (about making a miniseries Idk, but if I have any idea for this I will definitely write it 😌) @ajmiila02, @kenmasbimbo, @uniqueeggtoast, @belle643, @simpingfor-wakasa, @ihavestrawberryjam, @binibining-mariaclara, @sereinitysmind (hope that I didn't left anyone untagged)
Part one / Part Three
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"You should stop turning down those job offers, they offer you a good amount and your other clients seem not to ask for your help much lately."
You sighed looking at the request manager, he took your silence to mean that you didn't really care, you never have anything stable in this world, there were always better and worse times so it wouldn't really worry you.
"Just take care to let me know if there are other people than 'Mr. B', their requests are ridiculous."
The man raised both hands, nodding to your petition, after that you left the alley where you met the manager, returning to the busy streets of Tokyo in the middle of rush hour, where everyone was walking down the street without worries, you mixed among those people until you reached a suburb of small houses. You opened the rickety door with a nasty creak, looking at the garbage that flooded the floor, you couldn't ask for more for the minimum amount of this place and location, anyway it was time to move to another apartment.
Not only because you needed to change 'home' from time to time, but because lately you had felt less safe with your environment, it all started when you accepted the first request from 'Mr. B', they only asked you to kill a man, you did your job but also you discovered the identity of that 'B' who turned out to be not just one person but rather several.
You don't usually remember faces or names that aren't necessary for your missions, so you had to rack your brains to remember those two faces you saw, then you linked them to that group you saved in that brothel a month ago. Luckily only you could see how the guy with the pink mullet and the guy with the scar who tried to stop you that time were there, they seemed to be watching your movements with a satisfied smile when they saw little drops of blood fall from your face.
You interpreted that 'Mr. B' was all that group that you barely remembered the appearance of, you thought that on that occasion they were only there to check that you did your job well, but you noticed how they started to track you after that assignment, although of course, they could not find you and their only way to see you would be for those orders, which you did not accept.
The next two months your usual customers disappeared without a trace, it's not like you received daily orders but it was strange that all your requests were now only from 'B', it irritated you because it meant a heavy blow to your name in the underground, by refusing to take orders to Bonten, no one else did it as if they felt threatened.
But the worst of all was that every step you took you felt their eyes on you, every corner you turned you saw their shadow on you, it bothered you enough to think about killing them but you seriously thought about it and it would get you nowhere, you didn't used to kill to reputable or well-known people because that would cause a more intensive search for you and those guys seemed to be at least successful because they were handling a ridiculous amount of money.
You didn't even know their names and they always seemed to be on your trail, you never let them get too close to you, but lately they seemed closer and closer to finding you directly, you got fed up, you weren't leading a quiet and peaceful life, but inside from the garbage of your work you could always have a rest from all those deaths, you could always have a little space to pretend that your life was not rubble and everything was normal.
"Looks like I'm going to have to do some special work or I'll go completely hysterical."
As you were getting ready to leave that same night, all of the Bonten executives gathered at their meeting point earlier today, all sitting at a round table waiting for Mikey to start the meeting, though he waved for Takeomi to start since he was already busy eating his taiyaki.
"As you know we have been looking for that assassin from that day, we have always followed clues but we never managed to find the person, but today, we will complete the capture plan."
They all nodded in sync, some more eager than others, after all the stupid game of cat and mouse made them feel more irrationally attracted to you, Mochizuki always enjoyed watching you mix so well with people but quickly lost sight of you that he needed more from you, Sanzu and Rin enjoy seeing you staining you with the blood of your targets, Kakucho seems to appreciate your fighting style, Takeomi sees you as a difficult puzzle to solve and Ran and Kokonoi were perhaps the least attached to that exalted image of you, but they were curious about you.
"Is everyone clear about their part of the plan? We can't let anything go wrong, she never leaves a trace and knows how to erase her tracks, so we'll have to resort to more violent methods than just watching how she goes on our faces."
The meeting continued for a few minutes, explaining each phase and step while unknown to them you were in the room ventilation listening to everything, your blood boiled listening to how they talked about how they would make you bow down to them, it was your breaking point.
"Once we capture her, we can do what we want with her?"
"Only what I allow."
Mikey got up answering Sanzu who rolled his eyes for the answer, the leader patted his shirt to remove all the rest of the crumbs, with that everyone knew that the meeting had ended although to their surprise three bullets hit the table right in front of the site from Mikey, immediately after you kicked the grate and jumped on top of the table pointing your two pistols at everyone.
"I am going to make one thing clear, do not interfere in my life, I don't know what you want from me, but I'm not looking for anything from you."
You kicked Rin's arm as he tried to grab your leg, immediately firing Sanzu's pistol to disarm him, then ducking to avoid Ran's staff.
"What about the expenses for destroying that brothel?"
"You speak as if-" you jumped from the table hitting Kakucho's hands with the butt of your pistol, moving as far away from them "as if you lacked money, I know you are 'Mr. B', there is no point in charging me for that."
"We don't need reasons to want you as our slave! If we want something we have it and you would be a great possession to us."
"Oh just go to hell, Chunzu, I don't care about you or your supposed leader Mokey, I'm asking for peace of mind! and I want you to take this as a warning."
You took a little momentum, doing a slight somersault on the table, you shot at the large window breaking the glass into small pieces, you ran towards the broken window to jump through it, the arms of Mochizuki and Rin trying to reach your body unsuccessfully, you spun in the air and fired one last time before your body was thrown from the top floor of the building, disappearing into the darkness of the night and the buildings.
The bullet made Mikey's dyed hair move slightly, a couple of cut strands slowly descending to the ground, everyone fell silent watching their leader look at the window you had thrown out of, Kokonoi snapping everyone out of their daze.
"Mikey…?"
"If she want to play that game we'll play, before it was a whim, but now it's a necessity, I want her here."
He turned now looking at the wall where the lead bullet had been nailed, brushing the hole and scratching slightly to remove the small object, he smiled observing the shape and caliber.
"Let's start… analyzing this."
He took one last look at his most trusted executives before walking off fiddling with the 10mm bullet, they all looked at each other with a new flame burning in their eyes, you're only making things worse, you should have run but it was too late to get rid of them.
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