#it’s like a game i love fast food point rewards it’s almost a problem

[housecow]

i’m soooo close to being able to get a 30 count nugget entree from chick fil a purely bc of points. god bless

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

I Don’t Like A Gold Rush || Jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Jungkook is the golden boy, an excellent student, the star of you college's football team. Rumor has it, there's simply nothing he can't do. The same cannot be said about you, but you've never had an issue with that. You're happy with your small group of friends and your lack of talent in sports. And then, Jin befriends Jungkook, and you find yourself spending a lot of time with him. Before you know it, you've taken an interest in him — and you're sure you shouldn't. There's no way this can end well for you... right?

Also available on Ao3.

Word count: 17.3k

Genre: College AU, strangers to lovers, slice of life, mostly fluff

Warnings & Tags: discussed insecurities, alcohol consumption, reader almost has a panic attack at some point, shy jungkook, jungkook is bad at Feelings, Reader is bad at feelings too, mutual pining kinda, Jungkook has long hair, sfw, New Year’s Day themed.

A/N: I don’t know how I would name my stories without Taylor Swift. Anyway, this is more or less centered around the New Year (it was supposed to be more and then... it didn’t happen), and I hope you’ll enjoy it! Happy New Year everyone!

The first time you hear Jungkook’s name, it’s in the sentence “Man, is there anything Jungkook can’t do?”. You look up at your friend Jin from the book you’re studying. You have no idea who Jungkook is, but that doesn’t mean anything. Jin is always complaining about how you don’t know anyone on the campus, which you think is quite unfair.

…but then you really don’t know that many people on the campus.

“What’s going on?” you ask him, because he sounds extremely annoyed, and he shows you his phone. On it, there is a score for a basketball game. You think.

Your college is famous for its basketball team… Right?

“Uh-uh,” you still say with a nod, trying to make it look like you have any idea what you’re talking about.

“This kid is crushing it at school, the girls love him, and now this!” Jin complains, a little too loud, and shushing noises come from a spot behind you. You turn around to give the group an apologetic look. “I really shouldn’t have bet against him.”

Ah, there you know what to say.

“You really need to stop making bets. You never win them.”

Jin glares at you.

“And you are a terrible friend. You’re supposed to comfort me!”

“I’ll comfort you when you stop making the worst choices imaginable,” you mutter, going back to your work. Jungkook’s name, his supposed excellence, and that basketball match — if it even is basketball — leave your mind as fast as they entered it, without leaving a trace behind.

“So the school’s won another basketball game, huh?”

You look up at Namjoon who’s just arriving to the table, holding his tray in his hands. You know he can’t possibly be talking to you about that, so you’re not surprised when Jin appears behind him. That doesn’t stop you from throwing Namjoon a disgusted look.

“Really, Joon? Sports?”

Namjoon shoots you an amused glance from behind his glasses. It’s notorious in your friends’ group that you despise conversations around that subject. You hate anything that involves objects flying around and anything that’s played in a team, and, apparently, those are the only sports that people care about. They could discuss athletics, or swimming, which you wouldn’t enjoy but you wouldn’t hate, but that never happens.

“You were right, Jin. That Jungkook guy really is impressive.”

You tune them out. You don’t care about basketball.

“You’re talking about yesterday’s game?” Yoongi asks, coming out of thin air, and you sigh. You had been hoping you would have at least one person to talk to during lunch.

“Jungkook’s friends with Hoseok,” Jin says, leaning forward conspiratorially, which does get your attention. If that’s true, then that Jungkook guy can’t be a completely terrible person. Hoseok is probably the nicest person you’ve ever met.

That being said, he might have very low standards for his friends. You know him enough to appreciate him, not to judge his tastes.

“So I’m going to become friends with him,” Jin announces triumphantly, only to be rewarded by a chorus of groans and protests.

“But why, Jin?” you ask. “Please don’t talk about popularity. This isn’t high school anymore.”

“And that stuff was already stupid back then,” Namjoon adds, and you nod. You can always count on Namjoon to support you.

“And I hate people,” Yoongi says.

“And Yoongi hates people!” Namjoon immediately picks up. “Do you really want to make him go through that?”

You grin at the question. Yoongi’s misanthropy always comes in handy. Jin, however, is not amused, but he just shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s used to the three of you teaming up against him by now. Usually, it’s on academical subjects, but he isn’t phased by it anymore regardless of that. Not that there’s much that can phase Jin anyway.

“First of all, I said I was going to be his friend, not you lowly peasants, and second, he seems like a nice guy! Do I need another reason to want to make friends?”

You tilt your head.

“He’s protesting too much,” you say.

“I agree,” Namjoon nods. “That’s suspicious.”

“Very suspicious.”

“Come on,” Jin rolls his eyes, “do you really think that little of me?”

“And now he’s trying to guilt-trip us. Joon, can’t you analyze that conversation and figure out what it all means?”

“You know that’s not how literary analysis works, right?” Jin asks you, but you ignore him.

“Actually, it is,” Namjoon says, pushing his glasses back on his nose. “I’d say you were right with your comment,” he adds, looking at you. “I’d say… this is about parties.”

“You’re not going to actually believe—”

“Thanks, Joon,” you say, and the two of you high-five without looking at each other. Yoongi lets out an appreciate whistle.

Even if Namjoon and you aren’t being serious about this, parties actually make sense. Jin… isn’t quite a social butterfly but, unlike the three of you, he does enjoy people’s company to some degree. You know first hand that he’s been to a few this year — you had accompanied him for moral support — but they were pretty tame, and you’re aware that he at least wants to try some more intense stuff. The problem was that those were harder to be invited to. Hoseok could probably do something about it, but he tends to avoid parties on campus.

“Okay, then you should go for it,” you nod.

Yoongi and Namjoon, sitting on either side of you, approve. Jin looks a little surprised at your reaction.

“That changed your mind?”

“You said you wanted ‘the full college experience’,” Namjoon explains with a shrug. “If you think that’s part of it, we wouldn’t want to hold you back.”

“We will judge you for it, though,” Yoongi warns without batting an eyelid, pokerface perfect, and you laugh. You won’t be mean about it, of course. You just might tease him a little.

“Thank you,” Jin says. “I’ll do it, then.”

Good. If you’re lucky, it will be out of his system next time you all have lunch together.

Lady luck had never been on your side, for as long as you could remember. It wasn’t like you got the worst of things either, but usually, things that could go wrong, did go wrong. Because of that, you tried your best to remove those things from your path. Sometimes, though, you just didn’t manage to identify them.

And that’s why, when you hear Jin’s voice and look up from your food, being the first at the table as always, you see he’s accompanied by two people.

One of them has fluffy, dark brown hair, falling on either side of his face and in his eyes. He’s talking and laughing, and there’s something that you can’t help but identify as mischievous in his smile. The other is slightly taller, with jet black hair held up in a bun. He’s quiet, mouth opening for silent laughs when his friend jokes. Between them, there’s Jin, and you think that they look good together. All handsome, all holding themselves with confidence.

You had realized before that Jin felt out of place in your group, from an outside point of view at least, but it’s never been as striking as it is now, as he’s walking with people he clearly belongs with.

It makes you really thankful that he’s your friend.

“Hey,” Jin says, smiling widely, “these are—”

“You’re untying your hair before eating?” you say, looking at the guy with the bun who just sat opposite from you and took off his hair tie with a sigh. He looks up at you with wide round eyes, like you just caught him red-handed — doing what, you’re not quite sure.

That is the first thing you ever say to Jeon Jungkook.

“Um. Yes?”

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get hair in your food?”

You know people find you too blunt sometimes, think you come off as aggressive, but you almost never intend for that to happen. In that case, you just think the logic here is a bit surprising.

“That’s… a good point, actually.”

“(Y/N),” Jin sighs, “let me introduce you to Jungkook” (he points to the man who’s now tying his hair back up) “and Taehyung.” (he points to the other guy, who’s flashing you a smile.)

“Oh,” you say, looking back at Jungkook. “You play basketball.”

He lets out an awkward laugh and avoids your eyes. Instead, he grabs his fork and focuses on it, twirling it in his hand.

“Yeah, I do— I do that.”

Huh. It takes you a second to piece things together, and you think Namjoon will be of great help once he’ll be there, but for now, one conclusion comes to you.

Jungkook is shy.

“I play basketball too,” Taehyung says, leaning over the table, grinning at you, and you can tell that it’s his way of swooping in to save Jungkook. You can appreciate that.

“She hates basketball,” Jin warns.

“That’s a strong word,” you say, but only half-heartedly, because, well, you definitely don’t like it.

“I think it works.”

“You think what works?”

Jin’s face falls while you grin. If Taehyung is Jungkook’s savior, Namjoon is yours. Your friend sends you a questioning look as he sits next to you, facing Taehyung. He gives polite nods to the two basketball players, like they sit with you at lunch every week, but you notice that he doesn’t quite meet their eyes. Namjoon is not particularly shy, nor a misanthrope like Yoongi, he just isn’t too comfortable around people he’s just met.

You and Jin, well, you’re perhaps a little too comfortable. Not everyone likes it.

“He says I hate basketball.”

“But that would imply you care about basketball.”

“Exactly.”

“And you don’t.”

“I know.”

“Which means you don’t hate basketball. As always, you’re wrong, Jin.”

Jin looks extremely, extremely done with you, but when you and Namjoon high-five, Jungkook laughs quietly and Taehyung nods in appreciation — for the gesture, not the debate.

That is the moment when Yoongi drops his tray on the table and sends a weird glance towards Taehyung and Jungkook.

“What did I miss?” he asks. His tone is a bit dry, and you see Jin’s shoulders straightening. He knows Yoongi is going to be the most difficult one to win over. Not that you’ve been won over yet, but you’re not that difficult. Usually, people don’t like you, not the other way around. You don’t blame them. You’re not sure you’d like yourself very much if you were in their place.

“Oh,” Jungkook says spontaneously, “we had a class together last year! You’re majoring in engineering, right?”

Yoongi looks at him. His eyes are shining with suspicion, and you can practically see the gears turning in his head. Knowing him, he’s definitely wondering why Jungkook would even remember him.

“Right,” he finally confirms, slowly.

There’s a moment of silence, which Namjoon breaks.

“I’m a literature major, by the way.”

“That’s really cool,” Jungkook comments honestly, with the same spontaneity he displayed earlier.

“And I’m in mathematics,” you say.

“Wow. I thought you people existed only in legends,” Taehyung says while Jungkook avoids your eyes. You decide that, yeah, you like Kim Taehyung.

“Don’t say that, I like maths,” Jungkook protests, voice soft, much to your surprise — and, judging by his reaction, Taehyung’s.

You were right, you decide. Jungkook is not a completely terrible person.

You didn’t expect it to become a routine, for Jungkook and Taehyung to eat with you guys, but it does, and as time goes on, other people join your little table. You’re not sure you like that. It’s clear that those people are orbiting around Jungkook, which, good for them, but you don’t see why you need to be there for that.

You do see that Jungkook is not completely comfortable with all of it. He’s good at handling people, good at making jokes and at laughing at the right times, you notice, but there is a stiffness in his shoulders more often than not, and it looks like he’s well-trained at it rather than enjoying it. It kind of reminds you of Jin, except Jin is not as quiet the rest of the time. Taehyung obviously does his best not to let his friend deal with things alone, which is sweet, but he can’t do everything for him.

You barely exchange a word with Jungkook during that time period. You’re usually trying to be forgotten when the table is buzzing with noise, finding refuge in Namjoon and Yoongi’s company. You thought Yoongi would be an ally in reclaiming what’s always been your spot, but it quickly becomes obvious that he has a crush on Taehyung’s friend Jimin, so he never complains about the recent invasion of the table by strangers.

You hear a lot of basketball vocabulary. More than you care for, to be honest. That’s one of the few moments when Jungkook’s face lights up and he gets truly excited, with an almost childish happiness. His demeanor changes, from shy to confident, and the transformation never ceases to amaze you. As soon as the conversation ends, his shoulders fall, he smiles awkwardly, and focuses back on his food or his phone.

You’ve met his eyes a few times in those moments, because he often looks around him like he’s afraid someone’s noticed. He averts his very quickly, though, so you’ve never said anything about it.

So, really, there’s not much that changes. You still only speak to your three friends — you think Taehyung is a good person, and you don’t think he hates you, but you don’t have anything to say to each other —, and sure, you have a little less space when you eat and more noise around you, but aside from that, it’s pretty much the same. You think that’s a relief. You’re not too fond of change.

Usually, you’re pretty decent at spotting it coming. You did miss it when Jin said he was going to become Jungkook’s friend, but other than that you’re able to do your best to avoid it. You don’t see anything coming the day Taehyung calls out your name, though. You look up at him from the book Namjoon is showing you, surprised. He has an arm slung over Jungkook’s shoulders, and Jungkook isn’t looking at you, of course.

“Do you think you could explain a maths-thing to Jungkook?”

You blink at him.

“What’s the ‘maths-thing’?”

“Does it matter?”

You raise an eyebrow, and Jungkook groans. You get the feeling that he didn’t really want Taehyung to ask you about it. He sends an annoyed glance to his friend, who is still smiling brightly at you, while pushing a lock of hair out of his face. His hair is tied, but this one traitorous lock always escapes.

“I’m struggling a little with probabilities,” he admits, glancing at you for half a second. “But I’m sure I’ll be fine once I can get my head back into it, I’ve just been training a lot recently and—”

“I can help you, if you want,” you say. “I’m not the most fond of probabilities, but it should be okay.”

“Great!” Taehyung says, patting his friend’s shoulder before Jungkook can answer. “You should do that then.”

“You’re sure you don’t mind?” Jungkook asks, actually looking at you this time. You meet his eyes, notice that he looks worried about it. You can’t figure out why.

“I really don’t,” you shrug.

He smiles at you, a small, hesitant smile, but a smile nonetheless. Probably the first one he directs at you. It’s a nice sight, you decide, and you smile back.

Jin’s sentence “is there anything Jungkook can’t do” takes all its sense on the day you meet Jungkook at the library to study. You don’t know what you expected. You never thought Jungkook was dumb or anything, but since Taehyung asked you to help, you thought he would have some difficulties, at least. However, as it turns out, he either understands immediately when you explain something to him, or he’s already understood it. He asks for some clarifications here and there, but all in all, you feel kind of useless.

“You don’t need me at all,” you say after a little while, and Jungkook looks up from the book with the worried wide-eyed look you’ve gotten used to.

“No, no, you’re doing a great job,” he protests. “You’re really helping me out here.”

“No I’m not. It’s obvious that you could do that all on your own.”

He deflates a little at that, looks away from you.

“You help,” he mumbles. “I have a hard time focusing when I’m alone.”

Oh.

That makes a lot of sense to you, actually. You’re good at focusing all of your energy on one thing, perhaps even too good, to the point where you easily get obsessed and become unable to take care of anything else, but even you need the right conditions for that.

“Okay,” you say with a nod.

Jungkook gives you an anxious look.

“So you don’t mind helping me out?” he asks, and there’s something in his voice that catches you, but you can’t tell what it is exactly. Maybe it’s the hope, or maybe it’s the fear. You don’t understand what he’d be afraid of. Worst case scenario, you would say no. That wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“We can work together,” you offer. “You can ask me if you need help for anything and I’ll just work on some other stuff.”

He seems relieved, and again, you just don’t understand it. It’s not like you’re his only option. There are plenty of people out there who could help him. Plenty of people who would jump at the opportunity of helping him. You know that, because he’s always surrounded by those people, and everybody in school seems to know him. Even when you walked into the library with him earlier, before you got to the table you’re sitting at now, a few students greeted him. You don’t see why he would attach any importance to you, specifically, helping him. You barely know each other.

“Thanks,” he says, and he gives you a small smile. For some reason, that makes you drop the subject. Instead of asking about it — which, knowing yourself, you probably would have — you shrug it off and reply with a nod.

The silence that follows feels comfortable, to you at least. You’ve never minded silence. Jin hates it, though. You get to work, watching absent-mindedly as Jungkook goes through the lesson he was working on. He does ask you a couple of questions, but it’s probably to make you feel like you’re doing something rather than because he actually needs it. You still answer them, and watch him grin, satisfied with himself, when he turns out to be right every single time.

“Are you coming to Taehyung’s party this week-end?” he asks out of the blue after about an hour.

You look up, surprised. The two of you haven’t exchanged much, and certainly have not talked about anything other than— well, other than maths. His eyes are on his notebook, as usual, and you don’t get any insight as to why he asked the question.

“I don’t know. Is Jin coming?”

“Uh, I guess? Taehyung’s probably talked to him about it.”

“Then I’m probably going.”

Jungkook mulls over your answer for a few seconds, twirling his pencil between his fingers, and you feel like you have to clarify, which is not an urge you have often. Usually, you let people decipher for themselves what you meant. That works very well with Namjoon, sometimes with Yoongi, not so great with the rest of the world. Including Jin, though Jin compensates with his impressive ability to interpret everything you say in his favor.

“We always go to parties with Jin. For moral support.”

For all that you tease him, you genuinely care for him. You know he wants you to go with him, so you do. It’s as simple as that.

Jungkook doesn’t look at you, but he still smiles at what you say, and it’s— it’s interesting. There’s something about his behavior that makes you curious, like you are when you’re trying to solve a complicated equation.

“That’s nice,” he comments.

“So… you’ll be there?” you ask. It’s taken you a long time to come up with that simple question. It often takes you a long time to find things to say to keep a conversation going. You’re pretty bad at it.

“It’s at my fraternity,” Jungkook informs you, glancing at you briefly, and you smile. This is exactly the type of party Jin wanted to go to. He’s probably happy about it. “The entire basketball team should be there.”

Great. People.

“That’s nice,” you say, because you have no idea what to add at this point. Jungkook simply nods, and the conversation dies an awkward death.

It’s another half an hour until Jungkook looks at his watch and starts putting his stuff back in his bag.

“I have to go to practice,” he tells you, clearly in a hurry. “Can we— Would you mind if—”

“We can do this again. If that’s what you meant.”

He gives you a bright smile, and that actually surprises you. He looks relieved that you finished his sentence for him.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely.

And just like that, he’s gone, practically running out of the library. For someone who talks as little as he does, he sure leaves a void when he goes away, you think, looking at the empty chair.

But you quickly shrug it off. You’re used to being alone. You like being alone.

Jungkook isn’t going to change that.

You realize very quickly that, while accompanying Jin to parties was never something you particularly enjoyed, going to this one was downright a mistake.

You have this unspoken rule, with your friends, that you shouldn’t stick together the entire time. You’re supposed to wander off, find something to do for yourself, maybe talk to some people. Get that college experience. You’ve never had a problem to do that, even if you ended up quietly sipping soda in a corner more often than not.

Here, though, you simply cannot shake off the fact that you don’t belong here, that this is not your scene. The people here are loud, energetic, garish. They make you feel like a black and white picture, like a silent movie. You want to run away, but you can’t. You don’t want to leave Jin, Namjoon or Yoongi behind, even if you doubt they’re having the same kind of problems you do. You’re pretty sure you saw Yoongi talking with Jimin, and last time you saw Namjoon, you think a cheerleader was holding him by the hand and leading him out of the room. You don’t know what Jin’s doing, but you’re trusting that he’s okay.

You walk around aimlessly, find Jungkook and Taehyung playing beer-pong with some people. Maybe you should be happy to see people you know, but you’re not. If anything, it only drives the point home even more to see them so comfortable: you don’t belong here. Your chest tightens, and you turn around. You need a little peace and quiet. You need to get away.

“(Y/N)!”

You jump at the sound of your name. No one’s said it since you’ve entered the house. No one knows you here.

Except Jungkook, who’s right behind you.

He’s more confident than usual, and you guess, based on his slightly hazy eyes, that it has a lot to do with alcohol.

“Are you having fun? How long have you been here? It’s nice to see you!”

He’s speaking fast, excitedly, and as he does, he runs his fingers through his hair, which he’s let down. It looks good on him, you decide, even as you reply to him with a tense smile.

“Hey, you should join us, we’re—”

“Do you have a closet somewhere?”

Jungkook blinks.

“A closet?”

“Yeah.”

There are probably very few things that are less weird than asking a guy if he has a closet you can get into because you’re on the verge of having a panic attack and you can’t stay outside surrounded by people a second longer.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything about it, though. He just leads you through the house and opens the door to a closet for you. You get inside without giving it much more thought, and he looks at you, puzzled. He’s actually looking at you, which you decide confirms that he is drunk.

“Do you— Are you waiting for someone?”

“No,” you say. “I just need a little break.”

He thinks about your answer for a while, probably longer than needed, and nods.

And then, he gets into the closet with you and closes the door.

Inside, it’s dark, with only a ray of light coming in. You can’t see his face, which doesn’t help you understand why he just did that. The space is cramped, and you can smell alcohol coming from his breath, can feel the heat radiating from his body, but it doesn’t bother you that much. It’s still better in here than outside.

“Why did you do that?”

“I thought I would keep you company. Like you’re here to keep company to Jin, you know?”

He’s drunk, definitely, and yet you feel genuinely touched by his words. You shouldn’t, because you doubt they hold that much meaning, but you can’t help it. You don’t need company, but that’s besides the point. His intentions are what matters.

“Thank you,” you say.

“It’s not a problem. You’re helping me with my maths.”

Your first reaction is to laugh at that, because it feels completely unprompted, but then the logic of the reasoning kind of appears to you.

“I mean it!” Jungkook protests. “You haven’t talked about how I’m good at everything or how I’m the one who should help you.”

You frown.

“You shouldn’t help me. You’re good at maths, but I’m better than you.”

It’s Jungkook’s turn to laugh, and just like his earlier smile, it takes you completely by surprise. It’s not one of those quiet laughs that he usually has. It’s light and pleasant, and you briefly wonder what his face looks like when he laughs like that. You kind of want to see it.

“You’re a scary person,” he tells you when he’s stopped laughing. “You always say those things directly. It’s like you don’t even care.”

You’ve heard that before. Well, you haven’t been called scary until now, but people have said that you were intimidating. You, personally, believe you’re the least threatening person to have ever walked this Earth. You couldn’t hurt a fly if you wanted to.

Jungkook makes some sense here, though. Your filter is very limited, and there are a lot of things you say that feel acceptable to you, and that other people… don’t think are acceptable. You don’t mean to do it. It just happens.

“I think you’re good at a lot of things, though,” you say slowly.

Jungkook lets out a long sigh and then you hear him sliding down to the ground. You hesitate for about half a second before joining him down there. You fold your legs, holding your knees against your chest while you wait for him to say something.

“People are always saying that,” he finally mumbles. “But what if I’m not that good? What if I fail one day?”

It’s strange. You understand what he’s saying, understand the feeling of pressure, but you don’t understand the emotions that should come with it. In your case, you know that no one holds you to a higher standard than you do. It can be unhealthy, the way you can torture yourself if you don’t meet the standards you’ve set for yourself, but at least you’re the only one you have to answer to. Obviously, it’s not Jungkook’s case.

“Then you’ll try again,” you say, because that’s what you do when you fail. “Or, if you think it’s not that important, you won’t.”

“But what will they say?” he insists. “What if we lose the next game? Or the one after that? What if I fail a class? I can’t get anything done these days.”

“You’ll be fine,” you say soothingly, half-wondering how you ended up here, comforting the college’s golden boy in a closet after fighting off a panic attack. “It’s not like you’re the only one in your team. People will understand.”

You think they will. You hope they will. They should.

“You would understand.”

It’s true, but then, you really do not care for basketball, and it’s not like you have that sort of expectations for Jungkook. You wouldn’t think much of it, if he failed at something tomorrow. If it was the maths test you’ve helped him with, you would be surprised, but that’s because you saw him studying and it was obvious he had understood everything, not because you think he can inherently succeed at everything he does.

Which you guess might be the heart of the problem here.

You reach out to put your hand on his shoulder. It’s not that easy in the dark, and you wonder for a second if you’ve grabbed something else, until you feel hair tickling your skin. Yup, you were right.

“You have the right not to be good at something every once in a while,” you say softly. “No one can be on top of their game all of the time.”

You hear what sounds like a choked sob.

“I like that they’re counting on me, you know? I like that I’m helping them out by playing. I just— I don’t know what’s going to happen when I stop being as good.”

He said when, not if, and that breaks your heart.

Without thinking about it, you slide your hand down his arm and grab his hand. You squeeze it in yours, gently, and then you inch closer to put your head on his shoulder. You remember reading that physical touch was good for people who were in emotional pain. You hope it helps him.

“You locked yourself in here with me because you thought I needed company,” you whisper. “There’s so much more to you than just being good at sports or having good grades. And if people don’t see that, it’s their loss. Because you’re a great person.”

He hums, but the sound is quiet, and it’s then that you realize how tense he is.

Shit. You must have crossed a boundary. You start to remove your hand, but he closes his fingers around yours, keeping you in place. He’s still tense, you can feel it everywhere his body touches yours. But he doesn’t let go.

“You mean that,” he says. There are so many emotions in his voice that you can’t identify them all. Relief, happiness, amusement… You don’t know where to start.

“I usually mean what I say.”

“I’ve noticed,” he says, and you can hear the smile that’s dancing on his lips.

He’s still not letting go of your hand, but you don’t mind. Staying here, with Jungkook, in this small closet is as good a way of spending your evening as anything else you could do out there.

So you stay.

“Where did you all vanish Saturday?” Jin asks, and Namjoon, Yoongi and yourself immediately find your food a lot more interesting. You exchange panicked glances that mean ‘did none of you stay around? This was poorly coordinated’ before finally daring to look up.

“I talked to Jimin,” Yoongi says, face as inexpressive as always.

“I played some beer-pong with Taehyung,” Namjoon says.

That leaves only you.

“I talked to Jungkook,” you tell Jin. That is technically true. It omits the part where the two of you were together in a closet, but if you said that, there would be a lot of questions you don’t really want to answer to. Somehow, you think you would be more embarrassed to tell them that there was nothing going on there than if you told them you hooked up with him. You’re not sure why.

“Jungkook disappeared for a long time,” Jin says, narrowing his eyes at you.

You do your best to keep a straight face while you poke at your salad. You don’t want anyone here to have the wrong idea, and you finally manage to put your finger on what you’re afraid of. Humiliation. You’d feel humiliated at having to tell them that nothing happened and that there is nothing Jungkook could possibly see in you. They would be nice to you, of course they would, but you don’t want to see the look in their eyes.

“Did he? Maybe that was after I left. I didn’t stay that long.”

That’s a lie.

“Really?” Jin asks, clearly skeptical. “I think I saw you there pretty late.”

Maybe when you went down to get some snacks and drinks to bring back to the closet. Damn Jungkook and his stomach.

“Well, that depends what you mean by ‘late’ and ‘long’,” you say.

That’s you calling Namjoon for help, and he recognizes your SOS for what it is. From the way Jin’s face falls, so does he.

“She’s right,” Namjoon comments, so nonchalant you would almost believe he’s doing it naturally. “What is ‘late’, really? Isn’t it always—”

“Please stop,” Jin groans, burying his face in his hands. “Just because you’re a literature major doesn’t mean you’re the only one who understands words.”

“Actually it does,” you say with a nod. “That’s exactly what it means.”

You start lifting your hand for a high-five, relieved Jin’s attention is off you, but he sends the two of you a dark glare.

“You two are unbearable. Don’t do that.”

“We have to,” you protest. You would hate to miss a chance to high-five Namjoon.

“No you don’t, you—”

“Actually they do,” Yoongi says, and your jaw drops. Yoongi never intervenes, and you had always thought that if he did, it wouldn’t be in your favor. “That’s exactly how gravity works.”

Jin looks like his soul has left his body. He only comes back to himself after you, Yoongi and Namjoon have all exchanged high-fives.

“I hate you,” he says, sounding terribly tired. “I hate every single one of you.”

“Sorry Jin,” you smile warmly.

“No you’re not. You’re the worst.”

Except he sounds fond, affectionate, and you laugh before going back to your salad. You miss the quick glances your three friends exchange after that. They’ve all noticed you eluding and changing the subject. They don’t want to rush you, know you would hate it and that it’s better to drop it.

But they’ve noticed.

Working with Jungkook on Wednesday afternoons easily becomes a habit, so easily you don’t even notice it until it’s something you look forward to during the week. It adds to the time you already spend eating with him and Taehyung. Jungkook is, slowly, starting to become a part of your life. It’s a thought you refuse to dwell on, because it sounds so strange.

The Wednesdays afternoons are something special, though. You and Jungkook don’t really talk at lunch, even if he’s clearly more relaxed around you now, which you suspect is the reason why you’re ‘Taehyung-approved’. On Wednesdays, you— Well, you don’t talk much, either, but it’s different. It’s a time that only belongs to the two of you. You like that.

You slowly find out things about him, his family, his life. It’s never the main subject of conversation, but it makes you feel like you’re solving a puzzle.

“My father wanted me to focus on my classes and forget about basketball,” he comments once. “But I could do both.”

It makes you laugh, because he says it with obvious satisfaction, but it also makes you wonder if there’s more to it. Jungkook doesn’t add anything, though, and you don’t want to probe into his life, so you don’t ask. After that, small pieces of the puzzle keep falling into place.

“My high school coach told me I could train more if I didn’t work so hard for school.” But he could do both.

“My friends said I never hung out with them anymore and that I shouldn’t work so hard.” So he did both.

It’s always the same story. People telling him things, giving him opinions on what the should and shouldn’t do, and him stretching himself thinner and thinner. It’s almost a miracle he’s still doing as well as he is, honestly.

But his tone changes when he talks about his former relationships. He’s usually light and genuine, sharing with you just because. It’s clear that, as much as the stories make you frown, he doesn’t have an issue with them, and you guess that’s all that matters. The first time he says something about an ex-girlfriend of his, though, he’s guarded, almost careful. He sounds like he doesn’t want to tell you.

“My ex said I worked too much.”

He doesn’t add anything. Whatever it was she wanted, he couldn’t do it and work. Didn’t manage to do both. After that, he doesn’t look at you for the rest of the day, like he did when you first met.

You never get a name for the girlfriend. He talks about relationships again, but you don’t even know if he’s always talking about the same one. You doubt it, though, and it only makes things worse.

“My ex wanted me to attend fewer practices.”

“My ex said I didn’t care enough to make time for her.”

“My ex dumped me after I lost a game.”

That last one hurts you, because you remember him crying in the closet because of that exact fear. You want to take his hand again, but you can’t dare to.

“She’s stupid for that,” you say instead.

Jungkook looks surprised first, because you never comment on what he’s telling you, then a smile slowly forms on his lips.

“If the only reason she was with you was because you won a lot of games, you’re better off without her,” you add.

“That’s what Taehyung said.”

“Taehyung’s right.”

Jungkook goes quiet for a little while after that, to the point that you look up, worried that you might have offended him. When you do, he’s looking at you, something you can’t identify shining in his eyes.

“Everything okay?”

He blinks like he’d just woken up for a dream, then nods. He doesn’t tell you that he hadn’t believed what Taehyung said — until you said it and he looked at you and thought that yeah, maybe he was better off without her indeed.

You’re surprised to run into Jungkook late one night, as you’re walking back to your dorm. It shouldn’t shock you — you do go to the same college — but you’re so used to only ever seeing him in the library or the cafeteria that meeting him outside is almost confusing. At least he seems taken aback as well, if the way his already round eyes widen is anything to go by.

Then, his surprised face morphs into a smile, and a wave of warmth hits you without a warning. You don’t get any time to think about it before he waves at you. His shyness is not completely gone, and you see him waver, hesitate, even as he’s walking up to you. You’re quick to close the gap between you, meeting him in the middle. Just in case.

“Hey,” he says, voice a little raspy. He has what you identify as a sports bag, slung over his shoulder, and you wonder what he was doing out so late. You were working at the library until it closed, which is far from being rare for you, but that obviously wasn’t his case.

“Hey,” you reply, smiling back. “Were you— training?”

Amusement flashes in his eyes at the careful way you chose your words, afraid to get it wrong. As he grew more comfortable around you, he also started making fun of you for not knowing the first thing about basketball. Strangely, you don’t mind that much.

“I was at the gym,” he says. “Practice was earlier today.”

“Oh,” is all you can muster. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do. Should you ask what he was doing at the gym? The answer would only leave you with more questions, you’re sure.

You’re still debating it when Jungkook clears his throat. He reaches for his ponytail and undoes it, shaking his head so the hair fall back into place. The sight is— interesting. Pretty. You’re not sure why you’re so fascinated by it.

“Do you want me to walk you back to your dorm?” he asks, slight concern in his voice. “It’s late.”

“Is it on your way back?” you question, frowning. You would hate to be a bother.

“No, but—”

“I’m fine, then. I do that several times a week, I’ve never had a problem.”

That was, apparently, not the thing to say. Jungkook only looks more worried now.

“Several times a week? That’s really not careful.”

“I don’t see a problem, there’s no one around.”

“That’s exactly my p—” He stops and shakes his head, but gives a look you’ve seen before. A lot. It’s a look that says ‘I can’t believe someone as smart as you can also be so stupid’, in those exact terms. “Expected value,” he then says, and your eyes widen a little. Maths! Great. You can do maths. “Let’s say there’s a 99% chance nothing happens. Your gain is still minimal.”

Well, you get to study late and enjoy a walk home alone at night, but you’re willing to humor him.

“But in the one per-cent where something bad happens…”

He doesn’t have to finish his sentence. You know exactly where this is going, and you let out a sigh. He’s not wrong. On that aspect, at least.

“Fine.”

He grins widely.

“I just beat you at maths.”

“You didn’t beat me, I—”

“I just beat you at maths!”

You roll your eyes, choose to let him have that. It’s not going to change anything to your behavior after tonight, because the day has not come where you’ll let probabilities rule your life, but, after all, you don’t mind sharing your night walk with him.

Jungkook starts showing up to walk you home whenever he can. It’s not every time, which you’re kind of thankful for — you like his company, but you like being alone just as much, and you need a healthy dose of that every week —, but it does happen regularly. You find him sitting in front of the library, freezing cold, and you take pity on him, buying him a coffee from the vending machine inside, seconds before they lock the building.

That’s how you find out he likes his coffee tasting as little like coffee as possible.

Sometimes, he joins you later, and you hear him jogging to catch up with you. You don’t have the heart to tell him that that defeats the purpose of everything he’s doing, because it’s absolutely terrifying.

As the days turn into weeks, the air becomes colder, and you start seeing Christmas decorations appearing over the campus. You don’t know who is in charge of doing that, but they must be excited about it, because tinsel and few strings of fairy lights start appearing around the campus at the end of November. Jungkook is delighted by it, and you enjoy watching his reactions. You’re not big on Christmas, personally. You enjoy the tradition, the gift-giving, spending time with your family — you’re visiting them briefly this year — but you mostly see Christmas as an excuse for all of that. Jungkook loves it, though, and you decide that his excitement makes you like the season a little more.

“Hey, we should make a stop,” he tells you one night.

You look at him like he’s crazy. It’s the middle of December and it’s already half past nine. You’re cold, it’s dark outside, and you want to go home.

“A stop?” you repeat.

“Oh, c’mon,” he says, and he has that wide, childish grin that you’ve seen only a handful of times. You haven’t learned how to resist it yet. “C’mon!”

You sigh. But you follow.

As it turns out, he takes you just a little way off your usual trajectory. Behind a building you’ve never really paid attention to, Jungkook leads you to a small basketball court. You eye the place suspiciously. It’s empty, well lit, but you never know. A ball might come out of nowhere to hit you in the face, as they had a tendency to do when you were in high school and playing for a team that had picked you last.

By the time you turn around to tell Jungkook that, okay, you’ve seen it, let’s go home now, he’s taken off his coat and pulled a basketball out of his bag. You don’t even want to ask. His grin is even wider than earlier.

“C’mon,” he says.

“Absolutely not.”

“Let me show you, okay?”

You want to say no but— It can’t hurt, right? And Jungkook loves basketball, and you’re his— friend or something, so you should try to take some interest in it.

You take off your coat and let him lead you onto the court. There, you watch him as he dribbles in what you guess is an effective way (you can’t know for sure, you’re barely able to catch the ball after it’s bounced once so your standards are incredibly low), and then demonstrates his ability to score a handful of times. It’s not that you’re not impressed — again, you can’t do anything with this unpredictable, devilish round thing — but you also can’t say this is a quality you think much of.

You liked it a lot better when he convinced you to let him walk you home by talking about the expected value.

“You want to try?” he offers, holding the ball out for you.

You would rather die.

But you take the ball from his hand and eye the basket like it’s personally offended you. That makes Jungkook laugh.

“You can get closer than that,” he says.

You hold back a groan, aim and, of course, fail. It’s almost a relief. You can cross that off your list, again, just like you did as a kid first, then as a teenager. You’re bad at sports, always have been and, considering the effort you’re putting into it those days, always will be. That’s something you can count on.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook’s caught the ball and is running back towards you.

“Okay, let me show you.”

Is he going to— No, he’s just demonstrating it. You’re kind of disappointed not to get your typical ‘guy teaching girl anything sports related’ moment, disappointed that he doesn’t come to stand behind you to show you like they do in movies, but you can’t unpack that right now. You do watch with some degree of interest as he shows you how to position yourself.

“So you really aim for the line above the basket, not the basket, okay?”

“If you think that just because I aim for something I hit it…”

He chuckles, then gives the ball back to you, and you sigh. This. This is why you hate sports. It’s not the one-off failure, that would be fine on its own. It’s the constant humiliation whenever you even try it. You’re going to fail this attempt, and the next one, and the one after that. You’re a lost cause. You’re fine with it, too, but you don’t particularly want to go through that again.

You do your best, though. Not because you think it will change something, but because you kind of want to prove that this isn’t all you. That, even if you’re trying your hardest, there’s just something that refuses to let you score or do it right.

“Wait!” Jungkook walks over to you, puts his hand on your back, and you freeze. “You need to straighten yourself a little,” he says, placing his hand between your shoulder blades, and you nod. His hand is warm and large, you can feel it even over your sweatshirt. “There.”

He removes the hand, and you’re left a little off balance without him by your side. You shake your head quickly, shoot, and, without any surprise, miss.

Jungkook is on the ball just as fast as before, but you’re as quick as him to grab your coat and put it back on. You’re already feeling warm all over, though.

“You don’t want to try again?” he asks, sounding genuinely disappointed.

Of course, you take pity on him.

“Maybe next time,” you say.

He gives you a bright smile, so genuinely happy, and you know that you won’t be able to deny him next time either.

Jin is the reason you’re here, and that is the version you will stick with. No, you didn’t want to go see a basketball game, even if Jungkook is playing. No, you didn’t feel the slightest bit curious about it. No, you would not be there if Jin hadn’t asked. It’s Jin’s fault if you’re here on a Friday night instead of being, well, at your place, likely doing something equally as unproductive.

You don’t even understand what is going on in the field. There’s a lot of running and throwing the ball, that’s for sure, but then, you’ve just learned that scoring from different places in the field and at different moments will not earn the players the same amount of points.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen your friends look at you with such consternation as when they had to explain it to you.

In that situation, you can’t say that you get much from looking at the field. You definitely follow Jungkook with your eyes, cheer and clap when he scores, and let out cries of disappointment with the rest of the crowd when he doesn’t, but truly, the only way you have any idea what’s going on is by looking at the score board. And the truth is, that score is a little too close for comfort.

You hate that it has that much of an impact on you, but it stresses you out. Your leg bounces on the floor, an habit of yours Jin hates, but he’s too focused to notice, which is only more stressful. Jin always notices, and if it doesn’t, it must mean that the situation is dire.

The remaining seconds are slowly ticking down. Jungkook’s team is ahead by only one point, which means that if the other team scores, they will win. You think. You’re not entirely sure, but for your defense, you’ve just heard about it. Jungkook seems to be everywhere on the field. Taehyung is his shadow, perhaps not as noticeable or as spectacular in his actions, but certainly effective.

Again, you have no knowledge of basketball whatsoever.

Jin grabs your thigh, and only then do you realize that something’s happened. The action was so quick, so smooth, that you missed it entirely — but maybe you were also kind of thinking of something else.

Someone from the other team — you don’t even know your school’s team’s players, you’re not going to learn the other ones — just made a break for it. Based on what you can tell, Taehyung blocked his path, pushing him straight into Jungkook’s arms. In a movement you cannot begin to comprehend, Jungkook takes the ball from him, without ever stopping his run.

After that, he’s unstoppable.

He crosses the field, looking almost like he’s dancing in the way he avoids his opponents, and, of course, scores.

The time falls to zero. The crowd stands up like one man, screaming and shouting, and you yourself find yourself jumping up to hug Jin. He hugs you back, but the two of you quickly separate, patting each other’s backs awkwardly.

Jin starts talking with Namjoon and Yoongi, but you tune them out — it’s not like you understand what they’re saying anyway — to look at the field. The players have lifted Jungkook on their shoulders and he’s laughing, holding on to them so he doesn’t fall, and you grin.

“Come on,” Jin says, “let’s go congratulate him!”

That sounds like a terrible idea, you think. You won’t be the only ones, as the crowd has already invaded the field, and you doubt you’ll be able to get very close.

You still follow him. You alternate between clinging to his arm and to his shoulders so you don’t lose him, and trust him to elbow his way through the crowd. You hear him apologizing profusely in front of you, but he does not stop. Slowly, you make it down. Once you’re off the stairs, people are not as compactly gathered, and you can just walk between them. Jin grins at you, and you give him a thumbs up. Yeah, he did good here. You can give him that.

“Hey, Jungkook!” he calls out.

Jungkook was talking with some girls, but he looks up at the sound of his name, excuses himself, and jogs towards the two of you.

And it is then, in the few seconds it takes him to get to you, that it hits you. Like a ton of bricks.

You had known that Jungkook was objectively attractive, of course. There was no ignoring that. But Jin was objectively attractive, too, and that had never changed anything between the two of you. With Jungkook, right now, it does. His skin is glistening with sweat, and he wipes his chin with his shirt, and oh no, you can see his well-defined biceps and the line of his abs, and some hair is escaping from his ponytail, and he’s grinning with a happy, proud smile, and his eyes are shining and—

Jungkook is hot. That’s your realization. You had been aware of it, technically, but it’s like it only clicks for you at that exact moment.

“You came,” he tells you with a bright smile, and you can feel your entire face heating up. You pray that it’s not visible.

“Yeah,” you squeak out. “Great, um, great game?”

It sounds like an interrogation because you have no idea if it was one. It looked difficult, but maybe that was because they played terribly today. You don’t know that.

Jungkook’s smile widens a little, and you know that he has you all figured out. He knows you don’t understand the first thing about this whole thing.

“Thanks,” he still says.

His chest is still heaving quickly, and it draws your attention to his— his everything. The way he’s leaning towards you as he’s trying to catch his breath doesn’t help either. You wait for Jin to say something, to save you, but when you look around, you realize the traitor has abandoned you completely.

Okay, he hasn’t technically abandoned you, he’s just gone to congratulate Taehyung, but it’s the same difference.

You hear someone else calling Jungkook’s name before you’ve figured out what to say. He looks around, then gives you an apologetic look.

“Sorry, I—”

“No problem, you should— I have to go anyway.”

This is not like you. You’re an awkward person, and you struggle in social situations, but you don’t usually trip over your words like that. You kind of hate it.

“Okay, so, um, I’ll see you…?”

“Wednesday, yeah. Or— before. At lunch. If you’re there.”

This is terrible.

“Okay.” Jungkook gives you one last smile, and then he’s off, and you’re standing alone in the middle of a crowd. Your chest is heavy and it feels painful.

You hate this.

It’s only after that that you start realizing how big of a part Jungkook now plays in your life. He walks you home at night sometimes. You eat with him once or twice a week. You study together for an entire afternoon on Wednesdays. He’s just— everywhere. And it’s not that it’s a bad thing, because the feeling you get when you see him is a pleasant one, but it is disconcerting. It’s something that you have no control over whatsoever and that’s not— that’s not good for you.

You realize how much attention you were already paying to him, too, which is even more annoying. The signs were there. You should have understood this sooner. If you had, maybe you could have prevented it.

Because that’s the thing. You know the situation is ridiculous. You believe Jungkook sees you as a friend, and you’re happy with that, but there is no way he thinks of you as anything else. That is not an idea you should even begin to entertain. You can handle rejection, you’re used to it in so many aspects, though it’s rarely romantic, but you cannot take getting your hopes up only for them to be crushed.

The thing is, you can’t help it at this point, can’t force your feelings back in. There is so much to like about him. The way he plays with his hair, the quiet laughs when he’s in public, the loud ones when he’s walking you home, the sparkle in his eyes when he asks you a question in maths and it turns out he already had it right, the look on his face when he talks about basketball,… There’s so much.

You briefly consider avoiding him, but that’s not really an option. You like being his friend. You see your feelings as annoying, pesky little things that have no business being there in the first place. You don’t even hate the rush that goes through you when you see him, the way just looking at him brings a smile to your lips that you simply can’t hold back.

But you really, really hate the wishful thinking. The hope.

The feelings are fine, as long as you don’t think too hard about it. As long as he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Because that would break your heart.

And it’s only a matter of time before that happens.

You really considered declining when Jin asked you to come to this New Year’s party. Your last experience had effectively convinced you that those new parties he was getting invited to were not for you. That was fine, to each their own, but that did mean you didn’t really want to go. He clearly didn’t need you there anyway. You didn’t even know why he asked.

But he did, and he insisted, and he gave you his best puppy eyes, and that’s the thing about Jin: he’s very, very good at giving puppy eyes.

So that’s why you’re there, wearing a red dress that’s way too flashy for you, leaning against a wall and staring into the void. You feel empty and, though you’re not alone, lonely. You’re surrounded by strangers, and there are people everywhere in the house, but you don’t know them, and you can’t just start a conversation with them. It’s not something you do, it’s not even something you want.

You haven’t felt the urge to lock yourself inside a closet yet, though, so you guess that’s an improvement compared to last time.

Looking around, you can see Jimin, perched on the counter, listening to Yoongi talk with a smile on his face. Jin is somewhere else in the room and, though you can’t see him, you sometimes hear him, so you know he has his flirting voice on. Namjoon is nowhere to be seen, but that’s probably a good sign. He always get lucky at those parties. You don’t know how he does it. It’s impressive, honestly. Hoseok showed up earlier, and everyone greeted him like he was a star — which is kind of accurate, actually, at the campus’ scale.

You know, of course, that Jungkook and Taehyung, as inseparable as ever, are by the pool table. You also hate that you know it, because now your mind is constantly wondering if it’s weird that you haven’t been there yet, or if it would be weird to show up. Neither, probably, because exactly no one cares except for you, but you’re the master of torturing yourself with useless considerations.

God, you hate having a crush. It’s just so— unpractical. You also hate that you didn’t see that one coming, and that you didn’t do anything about it until it was too late. Usually, you’re pretty good at nipping those kinds of feelings in the bud. Now, you can only wait it out.

With a sigh, you push yourself away from the wall to wander aimlessly around the house. You promised Jin you’d stay until midnight, and you intend to keep that promise. It’s not like there’s anything for you to do, but still, that way you can look like you’re doing something and look a little less weird. Or maybe you don’t. It doesn’t really matter anyway.

Passing in front of the room with the pool table, you realize that Jungkook is gone. Taehyung is still there, playing with Hoseok, both looking pretty wasted, but Jungkook has vanished. That’s not good. You don’t want him to spring up on you out of nowhere like he did last time. You won’t know how to react if that happens, probably fumble for words, and it will be very unpleasant and very embarrassing for everyone.

You consider finding another closet, then decides against it. There’s just fifteen minutes left until midnight, anyway. That’s not too long. You can just wait it out.

You slowly make your way through the house. No sign of Jungkook anywhere. Maybe he left. Maybe he’s already back to the pool table and you missed him completely. Maybe he’s locked himself in a room with a girl and—

Oh you hate this. You hate feeling jealous. You hate that you have no control over it, you hate that it makes you sad, you hate that you have no right to feel like that. Jungkook isn’t yours. He’s probably even considered you for anything. You should consider yourself lucky you’re even friends with him in the first place.

You do your best to push everything out of your mind. Alcohol has never looked more tempting, but you don’t want the hangover with the morning, so you ignore the inviting bottles of beer and walk out.

It’s freezing — of course it’s freezing, it’s December you idiot, is there anything you can do right tonight — and you shiver, but you stay there. The cold is both numbing and soothing, and while you’re mentally complaining about it, you’re not thinking about anything else, so that’s good.

The door opens and closes behind you, and you guess someone is coming out to smoke. You move over to give them some space, but just as you do that, a jacket falls over your shoulders. You jump at first, and then the warmth makes you sigh in relief.

“You shouldn’t go out without a coat,” Jungkook says, because of course it’s him.

“I feel that you’ve been scolding me a lot recently,” you chuckle, glancing up at him.

He pouts, buries his hands in his pockets. He’s obviously cold as well, but at least his shirt covers his arms.

It also hugs his muscles real nice, but that’s besides the point.

“That’s because you make very poor decisions,” he mutters, looking at his feet. “You have to realize that.”

“You’re right. I could have taken my coat outside.”

“You know that walking back all alone in the middle of the night is way worse,” he protests, and then you laugh, because that’s exactly what you wanted, and he goes quiet for a second. “Don’t make fun of me,” he mumbles, looking away from you again.

“I’m not,” you say, and you take a step in his direction so you can bump your shoulder against his. “You shouldn’t worry that much, but I think it’s nice that you do. I was just trying to get a rise out of you.”

“That worked really well,” he says, and he sounds surprised about it. You wonder if it’s because he usually doesn’t get angry for stuff, but you can’t tell for sure. “Hey, you—”

People start shouting numbers inside, and you turn around to look at them.

“It’s midnight,” you say.

“Five!”

You look up at Jungkook. He’s significantly taller than you. Not as much as Namjoon, but still.

“Four!”

Jungkook looks back at you, smiles, and it takes your breath away. His hair looks very good like that, you think absent-mindedly, with the way it falls on either side of his face.

“Three!”

It’s too late to go back inside now. It would definitely be a weird thing to do. Which means you’re here, alone, with Jungkook.

“Two!”

Your eyes flicker to his lips. You wonder what it would be like to kiss them. You haven’t let yourself even consider it before, but right now your brain isn’t functioning all that well. Probably because of how loud your heart is beating in your chest.

“One!”

You look back up and his eyes are wide and focused on you. There’s that same tension in his shoulders as when you first met him, except, back then, he couldn’t look at you, and now it seems that he can’t look away.

“Happy new year!”

You decide you shouldn’t think about your next move. You get on your tiptoes to plant a kiss at the corner of his lips, right at the border between friends and something else, but he leans forward right at that moment, and his hands cup your face, and then he’s kissing you.

It’s like an explosion. You don’t know what you should focus on. How warm he is, how soft and large his hands are, how his lips move against yours, how he tastes, or simply the fact that he’s kissing you, Jungkook is kissing you!

The door slams open, and the two of you move away in a jump.

“Happy new year Jungkook!” Taehyung shouts, obviously drunk, soon joined by several other members of the basketball team. If he’s seen what happened, he doesn’t say anything, and you doubt Taehyung would have that kind of control over himself.

Soon, Jungkook is surrounded and they start to drag him back inside. He gives you a brief, apologetic look, then follows them, laughing. You remain there, frozen, unsure of what to do. You take a hesitant step towards the door, only to see a girl planting kisses on his cheeks while he blushes. What gets to you, though, is the arm he’s wrapped around her, the way he’s tracing circles on the naked skin of her shoulder. It makes the gesture look… intimate. Personal.

You let out a brief, bitter laugh, that there is fortunately no one to hear. You feel confused, but mostly, you feel stupid.

Fuck that.

It doesn’t take long for you to drop the jacket onto a chair and find your coat. You wish a happy new year to Namjoon, when you pass by him on your way out, and he looks a little surprised, like he hasn’t heard the shouting. You don’t want to know what he could have been up to.

You’ve kept your end of the bargain, you think as you leave. Jin won’t be able to complain to you. You feel some petty sort of satisfaction when you step outside and find yourself alone alone, finally. You like this. You like being alone. You’ve never asked for anything else.

You give one last look to the party, then vanish into the night. You’re better off on your own anyway.

“I don’t think I’ll be coming,” you say, nonchalantly, as everyone around the table is talking animatedly about a party for the next week-end.

You had hoped it would go unnoticed in the middle of the conversation, but, unfortunately, that doesn’t go as planned. Taehyung turns horrified eyes towards you, Jin, Namjoon and Yoongi all look surprised, and Jungkook… You don’t know how to read him. There’s that surprise, as well, but then he looks down before you can tell anything else. Not that that changes much. He’s barely looked at you today.

You haven’t talked to him since New Year’s Eve. You had other things on your mind, and then he didn’t show up at the library last Wednesday.

“What do you mean, you won’t be coming?” Jin asks. “You always come to parties.”

You shrug. You don’t miss the alarmed looks your friends are exchanging, and you’re sure Namjoon can see through you. Because it’s not like you to do something like that, whatever reason you may give.

“I don’t like them. They’re too loud, and I can’t say that I really enjoy standing alone for half the night.”

“You could stay with us,” Namjoon offers.

“And watch you pick up a girl every time? No thank you,” you reply with a disgusted shiver.

“You could stay with me,” Yoongi says.

You give him a look, and he grimaces, backing down immediately. Okay. He can see why you wouldn’t want that either. Plus he’s pretty sure that Jimin and him are about to get it on after weeks of flirting, so it’s probably not a great idea.

“What about me?” Jin asks. He doesn’t sound as energetic as usual, his voice almost quiet, and you realize that he probably feels bad because of what you said. He knows you come to those parties because of him, so knowing you don’t have fun at all when you’re attending — you understand that he might feel responsible.

“I think I would bore you very quickly,” you chuckle. “You’re not going to get the fun you want with me. But it’s fine, really. I tried it, and now I know it’s not for me. I can just—”

“No,” Taehyung says.

You blink.

“No?”

“I’m taking this personally,” he tells you, looking you dead in the eye. “You’re coming to this party and I’m going to make you enjoy yourself.”

You’ve never seen him so serious, and you can’t help it. You burst out laughing.

“Taehyung,” you say softly when you’re done. “I appreciate that, I do, but I don’t want to do that anymore.”

Taehyung opens his mouth, then winces and closes it. You’re not sure what happened there, but he gives Jungkook an offended look.

“I’m sorry,” you add. “I’m sure your parties can be great, but—”

“I get it,” he sighs. “But you owe me.”

You’re not sure why, but fine.

“And you can’t say anything bad about those parties, to anyone. Ever.” In that moment, he looks almost threatening, and you blink, confused. He can’t possibly take it that seriously, can he?

Then he yelps and rubs his leg. He gives Jungkook another annoyed look, but Jungkook doesn’t even look up from his food.

“Leave her alone,” he just mumbles.

Taehyung rolls his eyes, but doesn’t add anything. He does give you a long, pointed glance, though, before muttering under his breath something that sounds a lot like “I won’t let that slander stand,” and you think that’s hilarious too.

When you risk a glance at Jungkook, his arms are folded over his chest, and he looks deep in thought. He’s chewing on his bottom lip, eyes focused on his meal, though he’s not touching it. It’s stupid, but the image of a child that has just been scolded flashes in your mind.

“Jungkook? Is everything alright?”

He jumps at your question, looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. Your eyes meet, but it’s extremely brief, and your chest tightens. This sucks. You thought the two of you had gotten past that now, and you hate that you lost what you had. It’s not like it’s your fault. He kissed you, and then he bailed on you first chance he got. Why would he do that, why would he risk it, if he was going to react like that afterwards?

“I’m fine,” he says with a tense smile, and you doubt it’s true, but you don’t know what you should ask him to confront him about it. You don’t want to talk about the kiss ever again. You certainly don’t want to do it in front of your friends.

So you jump on the first chance you get to leave the table. You don’t ask yourself if it’s a weird thing to do. It probably is, but fuck it, you’re weird, and everyone else can deal with it. You refuse to subject yourself to something unpleasant longer than absolutely necessary.

Except the looks you get are mostly concerned ones, from Namjoon and Jin. Jungkook does look up as you walk away, eyes following you almost longingly, and then he lets out a long sigh that catches Taehyung’s attention. He doesn’t say anything, but he narrows his eyes at him.

God. He really has to get everything done here, doesn’t he?

At first, you think that this is it. Your— your whatever it was that you had with Jungkook is over. You’ll see him around every now and then, and maybe he’ll give you a polite nod, though it doesn’t look like he would even do that right now, but there won’t be anything else. You’ll go back to being basically strangers, and it will be fine, because really, nothing happened there, right? You had a crush on him, he kissed you once, and then nothing. It’s fine. You’ll be fine.

Sure, it makes you a little sad. Sure, you catch yourself looking at him while he’s surrounded by girls who are all so much better for him than you ever were, and it hurts a little. Sure, walking back home alone at night is a little more unpleasant than it used to be, but that’s the thing. It’s only a little. You would almost pat yourself on the back for it. Congrats, (Y/N). You made it out before you got too attached. You probably avoided a world of hurt.

Because you know. You know that if you had gotten in too deep, it would have hurt like hell to not have Jeon Jungkook. And sure, it hurts right now.

But only a little.

You’re good. You’re safe. You know that Namjoon and Yoongi would nod if you told them about it. They understand, in a way a lot of other people don’t. You don’t think that Jin would, for example. He would tell you to take the risk, not understanding that people like Jungkook used to pick you last for their teams when you were in high school, not understanding that as far as you’re concerned, you’ve handled more than enough rejection throughout your life. But Namjoon and Yoongi… They’re definitely more successful than you in matters of the heart, but they would still understand. Not that you’re going to tell them about it, because it’s a stupid story, because there never was anything there, and because you’d feel really dumb talking about how you thought, how you hoped that— You’re not going to tell them anything. At least everything’s okay now.

And then, Jungkook appears at your usual table at the library on a Wednesday afternoon. He drops his bag on the floor and takes a seat next to you. You’re surprised to see him when you look up, too focused on your studies to notice him approaching. He has big, wide doe eyes, and he watches your reaction carefully.

“You’re— This seat isn’t taken?”

You shake your head. No. People rarely come here, and you don’t really study with people. Well, didn’t, you suppose.

“Do you mind if I sit here?“

“The seat’s free. You can take it if you want.”

You don’t know what to do. You don’t know how to react. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You never considered that Jungkook would— That he would—

“I, um, I like studying with you. It helps me focus,” he says, eyes flickering away from you. “So, if you don’t mind I’ll— Can I come back here on Wednesdays?”

You want to tell him that you can’t stop him, that he can do whatever the hell he want, but even though it’s on the tip of your tongue, you don’t.

“Of course you can,” you say instead.

Jungkook looks up long enough to flash you a smile, and you know. This isn’t over, and you’re not going to be fine. You’re probably going to feel crushed, sooner than later, and you could have stopped it all right now.

You think about Yoongi and how not like him it is to be doing what he is with Jimin. How he’s taking a risk. How it could oh so easily not have paid off.

It’s going to, of course. You just need to look at Jimin’s eyes when he’s talking to Yoongi to know that. But Jungkook doesn’t look at you like that. Jungkook doesn’t look at you at all.

And yet here you are. Taking that exact same risk.

God. You can be so stupid some times.

Jungkook glances at you quickly while you’re deep in thought, tapping your pencil against your cheek, and a small smile forms on his lips. He’s quick to glance away, because he would hate it if you caught him, of course, but the smile doesn’t fade.

He couldn’t have forced it to do so if he tried.

“You have to come to the next game.”

“Taehyung, hey, nice to see you to, I’m doing fine, I—”

“I’m serious, (Y/N). I know you hate basketball and everything that breathes, but—”

“I don’t hate you.”

“—this is really important and— Wait, really? Thank you. I feel that means a lot coming from you.”

“Is that how you see me? I don’t hate everyone, Taehyung.”

“Can you give me a list of people you don’t hate?”

“Well, you, Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon…”

“Jungkook?”

“…Sure. Jungkook. Why do you want me to come to the next game?”

“Because we might lose.”

“And I’m supposed to change that how?”

“You owe me, remember?”

“I— Because of the parties? Seriously? I need to sit through hours of you guys running after a ball because I don’t like parties?”

“I would really appreciate it if you could avoid describing basketball as ‘guys running after a ball’.”

“I would really appreciate not having to go watch the game.”

“Don’t you want to support your friends on the team?”

“Ugh. Fine. I’ll be there. Just— stop that thing you’re doing with your eyebrows. Why are you even doing that?”

“You’re so slow. How are you so slow? I thought you were supposed to be smart!”

“Taehyung…”

“Just be there!”

“I will.”

“You better!”

“Or what, what will you— Taehyung! You can’t just run off like— Well. I guess he could.”

You hadn’t thought sitting through a basketball game could become a more painful experience to you than it already was. As it turns out, you were wrong. It was so much worse when the people you wanted to win were losing. Despite yourself, you found yourself getting invested, standing up and shouting encouragements along with Jin and Namjoon, and protesting loudly when things didn’t go your way.

You were not cut out for this. Not because you still didn’t understand half the rules — you could have by now if you had made the effort of memorizing them — but because of the stress. God, how did your friends handle that regularly? How did the players handle it? You kept looking at Jungkook. You could tell how unhappy he was with the situation, could see the disappointment settling in. He also seemed to get more nervous as time went by, which didn’t help his performance, and his words kept echoing in your mind.

”I don’t know what’s going to happen when I stop being as good.”

You’re half way through the game and things are not looking good when Taehyung waves you over. You run to the railway, straining to hear him, and when you finally understand what he’s saying, you regret making any effort at all.

“You can’t possibly be serious!”

But he is.

“You owe me, (Y/N)!”

“I’m already— What’s it even going to do?”

“Trust me on that one, okay?”

You glare at him, but he’s looking at you with his beautiful brown eyes, and there’s nothing you can do against that. You sigh deeply. Your heart is beating wildly in your chest just thinking about what he’s asking you to do. Maybe it’s not such a big deal for him, that sort of stuff, but for you— For you it’s downright insane to even consider.

“Kim Taehyung,” you hiss through gritted teeth, “if this goes bad, I’ll kill you and plant your head on a stick outside of my door to warn my enemies not to underestimate me.”

He has the audacity to shrug at that.

“It won’t go bad.”

You look up. Take a deep breath. And call Jungkook’s name.

The gym is insanely loud, and it takes both you and Taehyung’s efforts, as well as a lot of waving, for Jungkook to notice you. When he does, though, he runs towards you, worry obvious on his face. He’s looking directly at you for once, and the intensity of his stare almost makes you shiver.

“Is everything alright?” he asks when he gets there, eyes scanning you quickly to make sure that you’re okay.

“It’s fine, I just—”

“What are you doing here? You hate basketball. Did something happen?”

You shake your head. You don’t know how you’re supposed to do this, especially when he’s looking so puzzled and when he’s questioning your sanity for showing up at one of his games. You glance over at Taehyung who gives you a decided nod.

Ah. Fuck it.

Leaning over about as far as you can go, you cup Jungkook’s face, and as his expression turns to one of surprise, you kiss him. If people around notice or have a reaction, you can’t tell, because Jungkook pushes himself against you and buries his hand in your hair as he holds you. There’s not much space left for thinking in your mind, instead entirely consumed by thoughts of him. He’s completely sober this time, and you don’t taste alcohol on his tongue. He’s also not going as slow, almost desperately kissing you back, one strong hand supporting you so you don’t fall over, and you just melt.

It takes everything in you to push yourself away. When you do, you’re breathless, and he’s staring at you with eyes even wider than usual. You’re pretty sure Taehyung would want you to give an encouraging speech right now, but you don’t want to do that right now.

“I really don’t care if you’re winning or losing games,” you say instead. “If you’re sad, I’ll be sad with you, but it’s never going to change anything in how I see you. But I’ll be here encouraging you.”

He grabs your hand, squeezing it tight.

“Promise?” he asks, almost childishly.

You’re not sure which part he’s referring to, but they’re all true, so you nod.

“I promise.”

He smiles, and then both him and Taehyung are running back across the field and getting yelled at by their coach, but even from where you’re standing, you can see their smiles.

You guess that means you’re not going to murder Taehyung.

“This is actually insane. How is Jungkook even doing that?” Yoongi asks in disbelief after Jungkook scored extremely impressively yet again, and you fidget in your seat. You’re very happy to see that, though you don’t how you feel about the smug looks Taehyung is sending you, but you don’t want—

“It’s the power of love,” Jin says, nodding like he just gave an essential truth to the meaning of life.

—this. You, very specifically, don’t want this.

“Jin,” you sigh, “there’s no such thing as—”

“Actually,” Namjoon interrupts you, “I think he’s right. The power of love is a thing, and I think this is a perfect demonstration of it.”

You gape at him, in shock. He betrayed you?

“Did you just—”

“Namjoon’s right,” Yoongi nods. “This is how the power of love works. You take love, and you turn it into strength.”

And then, him, Jin and Namjoon high five, and you gasp. Traitors. All of them.

But after that, Jimin says off-handedly “Maybe you should come and kiss me before my next competition” and Yoongi’s brain visibly stops functioning, so you consider yourself avenged.

After the match, you wait for Jungkook outside of the locker room. Jin insisted you should go celebrate on the field, but you had declined. It felt like the situation required something a little more private, so now you’re here, leaning against the wall, looking at your phone so you’ll seem busy, even if there’s nothing on there to occupy yourself.

You’re not the only one there, and that doesn’t help soothing your nerves. There are a lot of girls, all pretty and smiling. It makes you feel like a groupie, and you don’t like it. You’re relieved for a second when the door opens and the team comes out, but it doesn’t last long, because the girls are soon surrounding them. You remain where you were standing, watching the whole thing happen. It takes a few moments before you notice Jungkook’s bun standing out of the group, and it makes you smile.

You catch Taehyung’s eye first, and, after you’ve sent him a glare that you hope was threatening, he pushes Jungkook out of the group. At first, he seems confused, before he finally finds you. You wave at him hesitantly. He blinks a few times, his eyes wide, then walks towards you.

“Hey,” he says when he joins you. He’s towering over you. Usually, you don’t like that, and you’ve complained about having to look up at Namjoon more than once, but you don’t necessarily mind right now.

“Hey,” you reply.

Silence stretches between the two of you as you try to think of something to say. You should have prepared a speech, you know that, but you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t have been able to say it either.

“Taehyung told me he told you to kiss me,” Jungkook blurts out after a while, looking away from you, and you give him a surprised glance. “So, you don’t have to—”

“No, I wanted to kiss you,” you interrupt him, a puzzled frown forming on your face.

Jungkook’s head whips back towards you, and you just stare at him in confusion.

“Do you really think I would have kissed you just because Taehyung asked me to?”

“Well you— you came to the game because he asked you to, right?”

“That’s not the same—”

“Jungkook!” someone from the team calls. “We’re going to grab a bite to celebrate, do you wanna come?”

Jungkook sighs, then gives you a sharp look.

“You wanted to kiss me,” he repeats.

You nod.

“Why?”

You bite your lower lip, and you’re not oblivious to the way his eyes fall to your mouth when you do.

“And I’m the blunt one,” you mumble.

“Sorry, I–”

“No, no, it’s fine, it’s just— I wanted to kiss you because I like you. Obviously.”

Jungkook swallows, and you can see his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He looks over his shoulder at his friends.

“You can go without me!”

There are some protests, but he ignores them to give you his entire attention. It’s… not an unpleasant feeling.

“You disappeared after I kissed you the last time,” he says.

“You left,” you protest immediately. “You kissed me, and then the second your friends arrived, you acted like nothing happened and you left.”

“I didn’t want to— I just— They’re really annoying about that stuff, you know? I thought it would probably be better if I talked to you after— ‘m sorry. I didn’t— didn’t realize it—”

You look at Jungkook, watch him fumbling for words, and it hits you like a ton of bricks, how much you do like him. Those words really don’t do it justice, and maybe you’re not quite ready to talk about love just yet, but you like him so much, so much it makes your heart swell, so much you don’t think what what he’s trying to tell you would change anything to it, and yet what he’s trying to say is exactly what prompts your realization. He didn’t want to hurt you. Wanted this to be private, for just the two of you, wanted to see how you felt about it. And maybe he went the wrong way about it, but it means everything that he was trying.

“Walk me home?” you ask.

Jungkook finally stops his rambling.

“Are you sure?”

Of course, he has to ask that now, after weeks of trying to convince him to let you walk on your own. Still, you smile and nod, and when you start walking side by side, you grab his hand. He freezes temporarily before grinning and squeezing your hand, pulling it into his pocket so you won’t be too cold, because the air of January is chilling.

“Congratulations for the game,” you say after a long, comfortable silence. You had almost forgotten about it.

“Thanks,” he chuckles. “I had some help.”

And then, he winks at you, and your heart misses a beat. That’s when you understand something you hadn’t even considered before: if Jungkook stops being shy around you, you’re done for. You’ll be the one constantly flustered.

“So,” you say, slowly, trying to keep yourself composed, “why did you kiss me?”

“Um. Same as you?” Jungkook’s confidence disappears, and he returns to his awkward self, and you see that, as much as you like it, you want him to be comfortable around you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t tease him a little.

“What do you mean by that?” you ask innocently.

He gives you a horrified look that soon turns to an offended one when he notices you grinning widely.

“You’re so mean,” he says, but he’s smiling too, “you’re the meanest person I know.”

You’re laughing at that point, as you stop in front of your dorm.

“That’s not an answer.”

“Fine,” he sighs dramatically. “I kissed you because I like you.”

It’s funny. You knew that was what he was going to say, knew it was coming, and yet it gets to you all the same.

“With you, I don’t feel like I have to be the school’s star, you know? I can just be— Jungkook. You don’t expect me to be anything else.”

He’s right. You like Jungkook. With his insecurities and his flaws. You don’t want him to perform for you, and you don’t care what he’s doing right and wrong. Just studying maths in the library with him makes you happy.

He eyes your dorm and takes a deep breath.

“I should go,” he says.

You hum.

“Yes, it would be a really bad idea if you came up tonight.”

But you’re not letting go of his hand, and he’s close to you now, close enough that you can feel his breath catching in his throat. It makes you smile.

“You’re so mean,” he repeats.

This time, instead of laughing, you kiss him, and it’s completely different from the two previous times. There is no uncertainty in this kiss, no surprise, no pressure, no fear. It’s perfect. Jungkook’s hand comes to cup your cheek, his lips soft against your own. His long fingers gently stroke your jaw as he keeps the kiss chaste and sweet. It only makes you yearn for more and when he moves away, you can see in his eyes that he wants more as well.

You just don’t think he wants it now.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” you ask.

“I’ll meet you for lunch,” he says solemnly, and it rings like a promise, which makes you smile.

When you move away, though, he doesn’t let go of you, and a pouty expression appears on his face before he releases you.

“I— Yeah. You should go.”

“You can come up if you want to, you know?”

He hesitates, rolls his lips together.

“I want to savor this,” he admits to you in a near whisper.

“Then I’ll go.”

“Yes. Good night.”

“Good night.”

You feel light and giddy as you walk through the door. It’s a nice and strange feeling, like you could just start floating any second.

You already can’t wait for the next day.

People are definitely weirded out by your relationship with Jungkook. Or, rather, by Jungkook’s relationship with you. You’re pretty sure most of the people who give you weird looks when you sit next to him and he wraps his arm around you, or when you walk hand in hand, wouldn’t pay attention to you if you went to class naked. But they all know who Jungkook is, and you guess it is weird to see you in conjunction with him.

They could ignore it and consider you mere part of the scenery when he ate with you, you suppose, but it is harder to do now. You’re not too fond of being the center of attention, to be honest. You don’t know how Jungkook does it.

What takes you by surprise the most is people being nice to you. That confuses you to no end, because you know for a fact they don’t care about you, not really, and you cannot fathom what they think they’re going to get out of this. You’re pretty sure there are a girl or two who are doing that to get closer to Jungkook, and some, you think, have decided to be nice to you because they think that if Jungkook likes you, you can’t be a total lost cause.

You don’t like that feeling. Not at all. You don’t like it when you’re going to class, you don’t like it during lunch, and you definitely, definitely do not like it when people rush towards you the second you get to a party.

Yeah, you’re giving Taehyung what he wanted, in the end. He said that both you and Jungkook owed him, because without him you wouldn’t be together, and you eventually gave in.

You thought it would be fine, now that you have someone to spend time with, but you understand with horror that your status has changed now. You’re not invisible anymore. You’re Jungkook’s girlfriendTM. Because of that, you spend much longer in the entrance making small talk than you would have wished to, and you’re stopped a couple of times while you’re desperately looking for your boyfriend to save you from this hell on earth.

You’re not surprised at all to find him playing beer pong with Taehyung and other guys from the team. He hasn’t gotten time to get drunk yet, so he’s quite impressive, but then again, they all are. That’s why they usually end up wasted.

The second he sees you, though, he abandons the game completely, and the smile on his face threatens to make your heart explode in your chest. Some of the guys turn around to look at you, give you a wave or a smile. Taehyung shouts a greeting.

“Hey,” Jungkook says, leaning in to press a quick kiss on your lips. He doesn’t like PDA all that much, but he never misses a chance to kiss you, and the thought makes you all giddy.

“Hey. Are you, um, having fun there?”

He shrugs.

“It’s not that bad. Wanna play?” He waits for your expression to turn to one of horror as you try to refuse politely before laughing. “Just kidding. Don’t worry about it.”

You let out a relieved breath. You know you and Jungkook are very different people, and you’re doing your best to take an interest in the things he likes. You’ve been learning the rules of basketball, for example, and though you still don’t believe you get the point, you like the way his eyes shine when you say something right about a game.

But you don’t take part in any of that stuff. Okay, you stop at that field that’s on your way home from the library every now and again, but that doesn’t count. It’s just you and him then, and you feel good and relaxed. You’ve even scored a couple of times now.

“Come on, I want to grab a drink,” Jungkook said, taking your hand in his, and you follow without protesting.

It’s probably your second mistake of the night: not realizing that getting a drink with and without Jungkook are two very different ordeals. On your way there, you get roped into several conversations. Those are fine. You can’t say you enjoy them, but they’re fine, and it’s not like those people are actually talking to you anyway.

What you genuinely dislike is that, when you’re by the table with the drinks, a girl starts openly flirting with your boyfriend. It’s not subtle, either, with the way she keeps touching his arm and how she laughs at his every word.

For a while, you just stare in disbelief. You know Jungkook is oblivious to that sort of things — probably one more reason why he likes how blunt you are — but you can’t believe her. You wouldn’t necessarily blame the girl for trying, either, if she didn’t know about you. Jungkook’s quite the catch after all, and you understand liking him better than anyone else.

No, it’s the fact that she’s doing it right in front of you, while Jungkook is holding your hand. It feels so— dismissive. So insulting. She’s not exactly saying to your face that she doesn’t take you seriously, but she might as well.

You watch incredulously when she puts her hand on his arm one more time. You don’t know how you’re supposed to handle that, so you just tug on Jungkook’s hand a little awkwardly. You’re pleased by how quickly his attention snaps to you, even while the girl is in the middle of her sentence. It’s a petty sentiment, for sure, but you can’t help it.

“Everything okay?” he asks. “Is it too loud in here?”

“Kind of, but—”

“Let’s find you a quieter place.”

He forgets about the drink he wanted to get, forgets about the girl, who he abandons there unceremoniously, gently pulling you through the room. Next thing you know, he’s carefully closing the doors of the closet he’s found for the two of you behind you.

“There,” he says, sounding satisfied with himself. “Better?”

You chuckle at that and, guessing for him in the half-light, you pull him towards you for a kiss. You press your body against his, pushing him against the back of the closet, and a groan forms in his throat. His hands tighten around you, sending shivers through your entire being, and you only lean into him more. You run your fingers over his chest, just to feel him tremble under your touch and he does, hissing with pleasure at the contact.

“Fuck,” he mumbles into your mouth. “Was that— was that what you had in mind?”

You shake your head, and he’s close enough to feel it.

“That girl was flirting with you,” you tell him.

“Oh. Are you sure?”

You are.

“So… are you jealous? Because that’s kind of hot.”

You laugh softly. Truth is, you really, really don’t want to be the jealous girlfriend, but Jungkook actually sounds happy about the idea.

“You really didn’t notice?”

There’s a moment of silence.

“I didn’t. Does that— Did it bother you, that she was doing that?”

“Kind of,” you shrug. “What about you? You’re— cool with that?”

“If it bothers you I don’t like it,” he replies simply, one of his hand leaving your waist to grab yours and squeeze it gently. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice.”

That makes you chuckle.

“How didn’t you? She would have made it barely more obvious if she had started undressing herself.”

Jungkook has an awkward laugh, and you can feel his breath on your face. He starts fidgeting, but then you press a kiss right at the corner of his lips, and he calms down, if just a little.

“It’s— You have to promise you won’t make fun of me.”

“I won’t.”

He hesitates a second longer, as though he’s trying to judge your sincerity by looking at you — except, of course, he can barely see a thing in here. You kiss him again, following his jaw, and he finally gives in when you start making your way down his neck.

“When I’m with you, it’s like my vision narrows on you,” he says, voice low. “I know everything and everyone else is still there, but I just think about you. Sorry, it’s really stupid.”

“It’s not,” you say, shaking your head, wondering if he can feel your heart beating stupidly fast in your chest, all because his words make you feel like nothing else ever has before. “But I’m— I’m kind of boring. That can’t be fun.”

“You’re not boring,” he protests. “You listen to people, even when you don’t look like it. You always look like you have a thousand things on your mind but you always make time for your friends, and when you’re studying here, you play with your hair.” He twirls a lock of your hair around one of his fingers before releasing it, as if to demonstrate. “You’re a very, very interesting person to look at.”

The only thing you can do is stay there, frozen in his arms, after he’s said that. You may be blunt, but Jungkook is honest. Devastatingly so. His vulnerability always shatters the walls that you’ve built around yourself, and you still don’t know how to react when that happens.

So you push yourself on your tiptoes to kiss him again, except this time it’s slow and gentle and you’re trying to put everything he means to you into it. The tip of your fingers are on his cheeks, your mouth barely moving against his, soft noises filling the closet. Jungkook remains still, letting you in complete control, like he’s afraid he could break you if he moved.

“Thank you,” you whisper when you pull away from him.

“For what?” he asks, breathless.

“For being here with me tonight, and for coming with me at that first party.”

“Of course. Any time.”

He lets himself fall to the floor, taking you down with him and keeping you into his lap once he’s done that. You rest your head against his chest. You hear the noises of the party still going on outside, but Jungkook is your island of peace in the middle of the chaos.

“I think I’m going to stop basketball,” Jungkook blurts out without a warning, and you look at him, surprised.

“Really?” you ask.

“Yeah. Really. I just— I don’t want to be doing that anymore.”

You think about it for a few seconds, then nod.

“You probably should stop, in that case.”

“People are… not going to be happy about it.”

“I’m sure Taehyung won’t be mad at you. Well, not for too long.”

He laughs softly, but his hold on you doesn’t relax, and you know that this was hard for him to even consider. You know it’s a terrifying decision to take, too.

“Thank you,” he says. “For being here with me tonight, too.”

“Any time.”

The truth is, you wouldn’t give that moment away for anything in the world, and something tells you Jungkook wouldn’t either. It’s not ideal, it’s not perfect, but you don’t believe there is such a thing, and you’re happy to satisfy yourself with the imperfect.

But any moment you can spend in Jungkook is as close to perfect as can be.

“I love you,” he whispers in your ear, and you think that he might feels the same way, which almost makes you burst with happiness.

“And I love you,” you whisper back.

Not perfect, perhaps. But close enough.

[dysfunctionalcrab]

babysitter

pairing: georgenotfound x reader

pronouns: gender neutral

description: george is left to babysit your niece

warnings: mentions of a future family? just in case that makes you uncomfortable.

[y/n/n] - your nieces name

[y/s/n] - your siblings name (gender neutral too)

note: i’m not too sure about this imagine, please a like or reply if you actually enjoyed! - niss

you woke up to the sound of your alarm blasting your ear off, if you hadn’t turned it off right there you probably would have gone deaf.

george was sleeping like a baby beside you, you could hear his quiet snores. you were surprised he didn’t wake up to the sound of your ear-piercing alarm.

turning on your phone, you glanced at the time that read 12:30. you sighed in annoyance as you registered that you only had half an hour before you had to be on your way to university. so you got up and began your normal morning routine, brush your teeth, shower, have breakfast and finally get dressed. however, as you were packing your bag, almost ready to go, you received a notification from your [sibling]

[y/s/n]: we’re 5 minutes away!!!

[y/s/n]: thank you so much for agreeing to do this :)

fuck.

it completely slipped your mind. you had promised to take care of [y/n/n] for today, your 7 year old niece, while your [sibling] was at their job interview. regardless, you texted them a quick ‘no problem’ before rushing upstairs to wake up george.

he was still sleeping, but now he was completely hiding under the covers with one arm sticking out. you hated to interrupt his beauty sleep but this was more important. you began to shake him awake.

“babe,” you shook him

“wake up,”

“george,” you removed the covers off his face

“wake the fuck up!” you started poking his sides. usually, you would be a little less... harsh, but you were panicking.

finally the boy rose from his slumber, groaning and stretching all his limbs. he blinked a couple times before meeting your eyes

“good morning,” he said softly, as if he completely just disregarded your tone of desperation and worry.

you pulled him by his arm and he sat upright,

“you need to get up right now,” you told him

“what’s going on?” he questioned, clearly confused as you weren’t giving him any context

“you need to take care of [y/n/n] for today, i have classes today, and i need to leave in 5 minutes and [y/s/n] has a job interview and there’s nobody else to take care of her,” you rushed out all in once sentence.

“are you serious?” he narrowed his eyes at you. “you know how bad i am with kids, especially [y/n/n] , she hates me,”

that was partly true. unfortunately, your niece wasn’t exactly fond of george. ever since you even started dating,m, [y/n/n] acted cold towards your boyfriend, it only got worse when you moved in with him. she always refused to play a game if george was going to participate, or never accepted any high fives or hellos from him. you felt sympathy for george. this child despised him and now you were asking him to look after her.

“please, i’m begging you,” you looked at him with pleading eyes. his eyes softened up after recognising the urgency of the situation.

“fine,” he agreed. you sighed out of satisfaction that you didn’t have to stress out [y/s/n] over finding a new baby sitter.

“thank you so much,” you pressed a small kiss to his lips appreciatively.

right at that moment, you two heard the doorbell ring. you urged george to get ready as fast as he could while you went down stairs and greeted your [sibling] and your niece.

“auntie/uncle [y/n]!” [y/n/n] yelled as you opened the door, immediately rushing into your arms. she looked a lot taller than the last time you saw her

“how’s my favourite girl?” you picked her up and swung her, before placing a little kiss on her head

you gave your [sibling] a quick hug. they handed you a bag full of toys, teddies and colouring pens, along with a spare set of clothing just in case [y/n/n] got a little messy throughout the day. and some quick reminders about her favourite foods or how to get her stop crying. you’d looked after her before, so all of it was pretty familiar to you

“again, thank you so, so much, you have no idea how much you’re helping me.” they told you. your [sibling] gave [y/n/n] a kiss on the cheek and told her to be a ‘good and kind little girl’ before finally exiting the household.

george, at last, made his way down. wearing a decent pair of jeans and a hoodie, giving an awkward wave to [y/n/n]

you checked the time and knew you had to get going. you had to explain to her that uncle george was going to be the one looking after her today. and after one whole tantrum, you managed to convince her to be a good girl by promising to give her a big reward afterward.

finally, you kissed [y/n/n] and george a goodbye , then shut the front door behind you.

george and [y/n/n] stood opposite each other. there was an uncomfortable silence in the air. george felt so...he didn’t even know. what do you say to a child who hates you? [y/n/n] tightly clutched her bag of toys.

“so, [y/n/n],” george cleared his throat, he bent down to her level. “i hear you like toy story?”

[y/n/n] pouted “i don’t like you” she said, and stomped away.

george sighed. this was going to be a long day.

and it was.

-

it started off with [y/n/n] innocently using her colouring pens and drawing random things, you know, as children do. but when she ran out of paper, she made her way to your office, where all your uni work was. she grabbed the closest piece of paper that was sitting on your desk, deciding it was going to be the next canvas for her art. this paper just happened to be a very important assignment.

when george caught her in the act, he had to physically tear her away from your office, in defiance of all her kicking and screaming.

-

then, when george accidently left the door to your shared bedroom open. [y/n/n] waddled in without him noticing, she started playing with all of his devices. his computer, his microphone, and somehow she got a hold of his headphones, and took out the battery. george didn’t realise until he noticed the cover missing. he tried to ask her nicely where she threw the battery. but she insisted that she wasn’t going to give it back unless he stopped being ‘mean’

-

when lunch time rolled around, george put a pizza in the oven, he remembered clearly that [y/n/n] loved pizza, specifically pepperoni. nothing could go wrong here.

but when he called her to the kitchen so she could receive her lunch. she just stared blankly at the pizza, and then at him. she crossed her arms

“[y/n] usually makes a smiley face with the pepperoni”

george just felt all his will to live just disappear

-

coloured pens and toys were spread out all across the living room floor, [y/n/n] was sitting in front of the tv, george put on one of her favourite shows which thankfully distracted her for a bit, allowing him to relax. he pulled out his phone and texted you

to [y/n] <3 : help me please

to [y/n] <3: i cant take this anymore, i’m literally dying rn

to [y/n] <3: come home quick

he exhaled heavily, throwing his phone to the side. he was so exhausted.

[y/n/n] was roleplaying with her toys, making them move around and doing squeaky little voices. george smiled at the innocence

“purple bear doesn’t play with us anymore. princess giraffe, mr. george took her away from us,” she spoke in a high pitched voice

george’s ears perked up. how funny that she had a teddy named ‘mr. george’. curiously, he watched the little girl.

“koala george, is a meanie, he stole purple bear and now they don’t want to hang out with us!”

it didn’t take a genius to find out what [y/n/n] was displaying through her role playing teddies.

that was why she didn’t like george. before they got together, [y/n] mentioned they almost spent every weekend with [y/n/n], playing with her and having fun with her.

she felt abandoned by [y/n] and felt as if george had taken them away from her .

george felt at fault as he noticed the girls eyes started to water.

“does purple bear love us any more?” she continued to play.

george decided it was enough and he switched off the television. he joined [y/n/n] on the floor and grabbed the teddy that was supposedly ‘koala george’

“[y/n/n]” he spoke softly. the little girl looked up at him expectantly. he held up the teddy.

“is this supposed to be me?” he questioned her.

“that’s a koala bear,” she answered

“no-, [y/n/n],” he said. he thought about how to ask her, and just chose it was best to be flat out with the child,”

“did i steal auntie/uncle [y/n] away from you?”

the question took her by surprise. she gazed at him with big wide eyes. she thought about her answer and grabbed the purple bear, which was supposed to be you.

“they don’t play with me as much anymore, they’re always with you, because of you, they don’t love me anymore,” she pulled a face, it wasn’t angry, it wasn’t annoyed.

it was a genuinely sad face.

george was sure he physically felt a pang of guilt in his stomach. he never even comprehended the fact that a child could feel so rejected.

“listen... [y/n/n],” he said gently. he thought about his words. comforting someone wasn’t exactly his strongest point, particularly not a child who detested him “[y/n] will never stop loving you, okay? they love you very much, and i’m sorry you feel like i stole them ”

[y/n/n] continued to listen.

“but don’t forget that [y/n] has so much love to go around! look, they love you, and they love me, they love grandma and grandpa too! they will always love one another even if they can’t see each other often,”

[y/n/n] stayed silent. she fiddled with the purple teddy, folding its ears and patting its head. she loved that bear. it was actually gifted to her by you, when she was first born. she brought it to her chest and hugged it. george tried a different approach.

“listen, how about- this weekend, we can all go to the park together, and have a picnic. you, me, [y/n], and your parents too,”

she continued to just stay silent. george didn’t know what to expect, she was unpredictable, was she going to throw another hissy fit? or start to cry? he wasn’t sure

“can we also get ice cream?” she asked

george smiled and felt himself relax. thank god. “all the ice cream you want,” he told her

[y/n/n] stood up and giggled. like her whole entire mood did a whole fucking 180. “okay! let’s go play dress up now!”

———

7:45 pm. you finally arrived home. you were tired out of your mind. [y/s/n]’s interview was delayed by two hours and was currently half way back home, meaning you had enough time to spend with [y/n/n]

you unlocked the door, expecting to see a giant tsunami of toys and colouring pencils and pens, but what you saw was the most heart warming thing ever.

george was sleeping on the couch, his head resting on the armrest. he had a couple pink bows in his hair, his lips were painted a hot pink, he was wearing a couple sparky bracelets and a purple floral necklace.

in his lap, [y/n/n] rested her head, she was wearing a fairy costume with matching pink bows and sparkly bracelets.

you quickly snapped a photo of this wholesome moment. because, who wouldn’t? you spent a few minutes just watching the two sleep, they were probably just as tired as you.

moments like these made you really appreciate the people you had in your life. the people you love so dearly much.

you didn’t want to disrupt the ambience but you felt it was better for your [sibling] to collect your niece when she wasn’t covered in glitter and an overload of pink accessories.

you quietly woke george up,

“baby, wake up.” you shook him awake, gently. in a very different way than you did this morning. he opened his eyes. and immediately smiled upon seeing your face. you ran your thumb across his cheek

“it looks like you two had a lot of fun,” you teased.

he quietly chuckled. “she’s okay,” he told you. looking down at the little girl sleeping in his lap.

you slowly and carefully picked her up, removing any accessories you thought may seem uncomfortable to sleep in. she was a heavy sleeper.

you carried her upstairs, tucking her into you and george’s bed and placing a kiss upon her forehead. you turned back to george and rushed in for a bear hug

“thank you so much for doing that,” you said. “i love you so much, i know it probably wasn’t easy, she can be quite the handful,”

george chuckled. “handful is an understatement,”

“you’d better be willing to dress up like that with our own kids one day.” you stated, hugging him tighter.

his face broke out into a small smile, having thought of an image of you two playing with you future kids. he kissed top of your head and then your nose

“maybe one day”

———

masterlist

[misselko]

LIONESS

Warnings: Angst, fluff, small violence

Words: 20.130

 

“Begin.”

Loud clashing of lances can be heard through Garreg Mach hallway.

The red-haired skirt chaser barely able to hear you said it when you rushed him. Sylvain knew that he should focus on his strikes.  He didn’t have time to be impressed at this small, petite girl that is jabbing her lance so fast against him. Devastatingly fast. And strikingly strong. ‘It is such a wonder how a small, petite body like hers held so much power’. That’s the last thing that passed his mind before (Y/N)’s lance has cracked so loudly against his that he thought it might snap. Beautiful, fierce, deadly (E/C) orbs that staring into his soul has captivated the Gautier heir and got him hard knock on his shin, felling him over.

“Whoa there! I yield. You do like it rough, don’t you, (Y/N)?” Sylvain raise his hands on the air with and winks seductively. Rolling your eyes, you put a light tap on his neck at his remarks.

“Though she be but little, she is fierce. (Y/N) is the youngest among us, but she is indeed a Lioness!” Dimitri claps over your third in a row winning for today. You beat Felix in sword and Dimitri in the lance spar.

“That’s what you get for skipping classes, Sylvain. And.. keep up with your solid techniques, excellent moves, and rapid quick footwork, (Y/N). That’s all for our combat class today,” said Professor.

“She’s a few inch shorter than me but she had effortlessly defeated Blue Lions’ strongest lancer and swordsman! That’s my favourite lil sis (Y/N) for you!! ” said Annette giddily. She hugs you in a death grip embrace and sings her silly song.

Everyone are so nice to you, to the point of spoiled rotten! Especially Ingrid and Mercie! They are like your big sisters, always offering their help to ride pegasi and give endless supplies of baked sweets that you love very much. Felix is kinda harsh and always eager to spar with you, but he’s the first person to get angry when someone bullies you because you are so small. So kind, almost feel like a big brother! Dimitri helps you with your late night studies and picking books in the higher shelves on the library a lot. Dedue and Ashe cook dinner together with you on your duty day.

They see (Y/N) as the sweet smol bean that has to be protected at all cost!

“Are you free tonight, Munchkin?” Care to join me to visit the town and get something to eat? I know this little restaurant that has nice dessert! My treat, of course! Think of it as a token of congratulations from me on your brilliance today!” Sylvain put his hand on your shoulder in a friendly gesture and wink seductively.

“Seteth will scold us for sure, Syl! This is the fourth or fifth time we went for a late dinner this week,” you pout at his invitation. “He won’t. I’ll walk you back before curfew as usual. Don’t want my Kitten to get  hurt on her way back. Night walk can be dangerous, you know.”

“Why you are being so nice to me, Syl... Your girls will be upset and kill me for sure.”

“Nah.. I don’t have any! It would be a shame to waste such a beautiful evening alone. Besides, I don’t want to let my Munchkin starved in her sleep! Not to mention that you just looked awfully cute with your cheeks stuffed.” You smacked his shin and rewarded with a loud yelp from him.  “Lead the way. And.. it’s not like I like it or something like that, you know! Don’t get any wrong ideas,” you hide your blush and took his huge hand in your tiny ones.

The food was delightful as usual and Sylvain stay true to his words about going back before the curfew.

As you both closed the large door’s that marked the dormitory, you were greeted by the crisp spring night. Warm wind passed over your forms, and crickets chirped in the night.

“While we’re at it, how about a little board games rematch at my quarters? I got a new strategy to show you, Syl!”

“Bring it on then, (Y/N)! Let’s bring some sweet buns as usual to snack on later as well, then.”

“It’s a deal!”

“I’d think playing it on the bed would be more comfortable than doing it on the floor. You might catch another cold and passed out like last month in my room. It scared the living daylights out of me! Nope, never trying that again.”

“It’s not fun being frail and get sick easily.” You sigh.

“No problem. Think of it as a good chance for me to get to carry you around in my arms. For our weddi-- Ouch!!” he faux a sad face melodramatically when you punch his hand away playfully. “You might be small and petite but these hands are a force to be reckoned with. You’re as strong as a lioness,” said the philanderer as he ruffled your hair affectionately.

 

It was such a beautiful night.

---

“Do you have a moment, Miss (Y/N)? I have something important to tell you regarding my research and your Crest. We can discuss it in more detailed manner in my research room,” Professor Hanneman ask you out of the blue after the afternoon battle strategy class.

 

“Crest? But I’m sure I don’t have any, Professor! It’s stated as clear as a day in my enrollment documents, isn’t it?”

 

“There’s a mistake, Miss (Y/N). And I sworn it on my name as the Father of Crestology, you do HAVE a Crest. A Major one at that! Congratulations! I have sent a letter to your family and inform other Professors and your House Leader regarding this matter. I have my suspicion about your Crests since I watch your  prowess at combat and when it activates, the timing, and the flash of....”

 

You are a bit shocked about this and decided to ignore this fact, having a hard time to process this shocking information. Your family and other members of Blue Lions will be very surprised of this information. Is it going to be a good thing or not? Professor Hanneman’s murmurs fell on your deaf ears as you politely excuse yourself out of his room. ‘It’ll be better to keep this as a secret to avoid unwanted attention nor unnecessary commotion’ you think to yourself.

---

Moons have passed. Then the night of the ball came. Urged by your curiosity, you are eager to wait for your true love at the Goddess Tower. You were hardly expecting to see Sylvain, of all people. The surprise at seeing each other was mutual. The both of you stood there for a moment, simply enjoying the scene before you. You wrapped your arms around yourself to stave off the chill that went down your spine, shuffling closer to the older man.

 

“Do you even believe the rumors about this place?” he asked as he lay his uniform coat over your shivering form. “My curiosity gets the best of me. But am glad to find you here, Syl.”

 

“Huh.” Sylvain went quiet, his face etched with contemplation. After he thought about it a little, he let out a huff of breath and frowned.

 

“Well, the person I’m interested in... is already here. You’re here alone. I’m here alone. I was thinking maybe....”

“Wait. Me?”

“Well, of course! We’re the only two people here, aren’t we? I keep thinking about it, and it just makes sense. My Crest and yours...”

“How did you...?”

“Dimitri told me. I have confirmed it with Professor Hanneman as well. A Major one, he said. So lucky.”

He looked down at you menacingly. Your eyes were averted away from his, looking away into the distance. “What do you mean? I’m still me, Syl.  Crest or no Crest.”

Despite your dismissive answer, something changed in his expression. He took his hands from behind his neck and stalked towards you. This wasn’t at all like the kind and flirty Sylvain you loved. He’s... different.

“You know what? I’m a bit jealous. The whole time you were growing up, you never knew you had a Crest. You were free. Nobody pretended to like you. I kind of hate you for that...” he slammed you hard against the wall behind you. Strangled pained noise came from you.

His knees rest on either side of your petite body and his arms cage your head, his much bigger hand grasp yours roughly. “All you’re worth to me is a little bit of fun. We’ve been having fun, haven’t we? I thought that you understood,” Sylvain’s face a mere inch from yours, glaring daggers at you. You can feel your tears begin welling, threatening to spill at his words.

 

“Is that really what you think of me? I thought... I was different. So… our friendship has just been for nothing?” you muttered quietly, holding back your sobs.

 

He scoffed. “Of course you are. You’re just some dumb noble looking for crest babies. You never meant anything to me.” His rejection was validation of your worst fear, that you were just like every other girl. Your friendship had all fallen apart and meant nothing for him.

 

“Playing around with girls is the most fun a guy can have. Besides, I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t intend to change how I live my life. I’m a good-for-nothing, if you haven’t noticed, but I’m still a noble with a Crest. That’s all anyone cares about. It’s best to avoid getting too serious with fools like me.” His expression darkens and unreadable. The carefree mask was long gone.

 

“My Crest bring me nothing but pain. I thought maybe...if I made someone else suffer, it might help me feel better.” His hand shot up and grabbed you by your throat. Sylvain held you in front of him, tightened his grip, choking you hard. His caramel eyes glowed dark with excitement.

 

“Unnnghhh......Syl....”

You tried to squirm away but he clamped his hand tighter, making it harder for you to breathe. Your legs felt weak and limp. The pain was too intense.

 

“You were a spoiled brat who should pay for that Crest. Maybe I’ll collect the debt.” His expression dark as he looked up at you.

 

Focusing yourself, you punch his jaw as hard as you can. To your surprise, a blinding flash of your Crest shows up when you smack him as hard as you can, making Sylvain flinch in pain, dropping you with a loud thud on the cold floor. You stumbled back and dropped to your knees. Gasping for air, you tried to rub the pain from your throat, doing your best to pick yourself up.

 

“Sylvain Jose Gautier!  I care not for your Crest nor title! It means nothing to me. I like.. no, love you because you are the strongest, kindest, funniest, and the most caring person that I know. Even you are such a skirt chaser, but you always very considerate and protective of me. I never felt this way before about someone. This is my first time but... This… This was a mistake. Sorry. I hope.. you find your own happiness someday,” you said, your voice is raspy from his deadly grip and your sadness. Tears were finally flowing freely from you.

 

Sylvain’s posture becoming rigid despite his feigned relaxed position. “H-hey,” Sylvain said, his voice softened somewhat. “Please, don’t cry. I’m sorry...”, he tried to pat your head, but you step back instinctively. The red head flinch and turned away when he saw angry purplish hue on your neck. Guilt began creeping on his conscience.

 

“I believe you. You’re not a bad person, Sylvain, no matter what anyone says. I care about you. Our friendship, dinners, late nights walk and banters... I cherished them a lot. Really, I do. I love you, Sylvain.” You couldn’t meet his eyes, couldn’t look at anything besides the floor. “That’s what I came to tell you, but... nevermind. Good night, Syl. I’ll see you tomorrow in class.”

 

“Did you mean that? (Y/N), wait!” He spoke with disbelief.

“Why would I lie?” you asked, hardly audible. “Goodbye, Syl.”

 

His pleas fell on deaf ears as you dash yourself as fast as possible from Goddess Tower, locking yourself inside your quarters, clutching to Sylvain’s uniform coat, while crying yourself to sleep.

---

That’s the last thing that you can remember from your Academy Days. Things were never the same since that night. You never talk to the playboy ever again since that incident. No more night walks or late board games. When you have to work together in weekly duty, there’s an unseen awkward distance and heavy tension between you two.

 

The notorious philanderer went back into his old ways, going around with a different girl each day. You often catch him glimpse at you with eyes full of remorse and sadness (mostly when he thinks you aren’t looking or noticing). Everyone in the Blue Lions noticed the changes between your relationship but being very considerate of your feelings and trying to not mention anything about it.

 

Your Father called you back home because of his grave illness in Pegasus Moon, insisting you to leave the Officers Academy behind. Blue Lions was taken aback and sad with your abrupt leave. Going back to your home in Fhirdiad, days flies in a blur motion into moons and years.

---

It’s been 5 years since you left your Academy days in Garreg Mach.

A bloody coup led by Cornelia causes Duke Rufus and Dimitri both to be apparently killed. Her  tyranny left Fhirdiad in poor state with poverty and famine. Holy Kingdom of Faerghus thrown into disarray condition with their Prince’s disappearance. The nation is plagued by civil strife and hardship.

 

With the vast majority of the former Kingdom lords having bent the knee to the overwhelming power of the Empire, all Blaiddyd territory, including the Kingdom capital, is ruled by those who are cooperating with the Empire, and is thus renamed the Faerghus Dukedom. Houses Fraldarius and Gautier were left to spearhead the resistance as the primary opponents of the Dukedom.

 

As the legitimate Marchioness of your major noble house in Blaiddyd territory after her Father’s passing, (Y/N) decided to keep on fighting against Empire until the bitter end, along with Houses of Fraldarius, Gautier, and Galatea. You keep maintain close relationships them, mostly with the neighbouring Houses, Fraldarius and Galatea. Whether it may be reinforcements soldiers to House Fraldarius or stock supplies to House Galatea, you are so much eager to give it all (sometimes by going there personally—much to your advisors’ dismay) to aid them.  Being always giving or adding the most relevant information about current war state developments made you overjoyed when you heard about the news of Dimitri’s plan to recapture Fhirdiad.

---

It’s been forever since your last time fighting on the battlefield. Reclaiming the capital is a daunting task with shortage of soldiers and resources. Rodrigue’s death is a devastating blow to Faerghus’ military strength and resources. Not to mention that House Gautier and Galatea has any resources to spare. With limited resource of your own House, you decided to prioritize evacuation of Faerghus’ citizens and helping Blue Lions to the utmost.

 

Dimitri marches for Fhirdiad, causing the oppressed citizens to revolt against Cornelia’s tyranny People are rebelling against Cornelia and Fhirdiad has turned into a gruesome battlefield. Fire was everywhere The sound of metals echoed loudly in your ears. Large Titanus crowded the streets and wreaking havoc upon buildings and citizens. With your sword in your hands, you leap and cut through Kingdom Soldiers that is preparing to activate Viskam turrets against Felix.

 

You pushed forward with great caution. When you are done helping a pair of elders and children under the rubbles to evacuate, you saw him. Sylvain. Fighting over a mage and a large Titanus all by himself. Did he get separated? He barely dodged a fireball when you strike down that mage.

 

“Munchki--!” He gasped, surprised to see you back.

“Watch out, Syl!”

You leap in front of him, parrying and slash back at the Titanus’ large appendages that is going to smash him. Sylvain cast a Ragnarok and taking down the golem-like creature with a loud explosion, sending flying debris everywhere. He gasped, grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the way. 

 

“Ugh... that hurts. Are you okay, Munchkin?” He was trapped under the rubbles and the first thing that he asked is your safety?

“W-why did you do that, Syl? You got hurt protecting me. Didn’t you want to kill me?”, you said as you helped him out from the rubble.  Fortunately he is okay aside from a few scratch and bruises.

 

“When I thought you were going to be killed for real, my reflexes kicked in. I reacted without thinking. It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped being jealous of you. But, come on, I can’t help looking up to you.” He look at you with eyes full of worry and sadness.

 

“Sylvain..... Well.. It’s been awhile, but as much as I want to chat with you, we have to help Professor and Dimitri first. Cornelia has brought us so many sufferings. Now’s the time to put an end to all of this. And... thank you, Syl.” He nods and push forward to throw his lance at a Pegasus Knight that is fighting against Ingrid.

 

“I will go to deactivate Titanus’ lever. I know its location and it will help everyone tremendously against that gigantic monster! I’ll open Fhirdiad’s secret passages within my House territory to help everyone to get better access to Cornelia. When I’m done with it, I’ll regroup with reinforcement soldiers from my House to evacuate more citizens on the east side of Royal Capital, then go to help Dimitri fighting against Cornelia. See you later, Syl. Please stay safe.” You bid your farewell and run through smaller alley path, doing your missions, leaving Sylvain astonished at your very thorough, detailed plans.

 

Without the Titanus, Cornelia only has archers as her backups. As you take the archers down with Felix and Annette, Professor and Dimitri are working together to close in on her and take her down. It was a gruesome battle, but thanks to everyone’s efforts, casualties were kept to minimum and reclaiming Fhirdiad is a big success after Cornelia has been defeated.

---

It may be spring, but the nights are quite chilly here in Fhirdiad. The people are rejoicing at the return of their King. After a hard won battle of reclaiming Royal Capital of Fhirdiad, celebratory feast shows no sign of stopping. Growing weary of the festivities, you decided to excuse yourself from the banquet at the castle balcony.

“Munchkin. Here you are. His Highness has been looking for you. He wanted to express his gratitude for your loyalty and huge help at reclaiming Fhirdiad.”

“Good evening, Syl. We just did our utmost to help. Fhirdiad’s  peace and safety of the Blue Lions is of the most important thing for me, after all.”

A moment of silence passed where both of you stayed still, just basking in the moonlight and enjoying each others’ presence for a while.

“I’m sorry. I really am.” You are taken aback when Sylvain bows his head deeply in front of you.

“I know I messed up really bad and it’s fair enough if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive me. My jealousy got the best of me and it has brought you so much harm. Most girls just want me for my title or my Crest, and when I thought that it was the same for you, I… I was the one who made a mistake. I’m sorry, truly I am.” Peeking at him from the corner of your eye, you could see the furrow of Sylvain’s brows, the frowning twist of his lips. It was a look you’d never seen on him. Regret and pain. He looks so vulnerable. Somehow, you didn’t doubt the apology.

“Please elaborate, Syl.”

“Since I bear a Crest, my parents made sure I was never left wanting. My older brother didn’t have one, and so when I was born, he was pushed aside. My mere existence stole everything from him. There’s so many people that want to get close to me because of my crest. Because of something I didn’t even want to be born with. I wish I could have cared as little about my Crest as you do yours...,” he grimaces, running a hand through his hair briskly. “Women smile at me for the same reason my parents adored me...and my brother wanted me dead. And I have to meet them all with a smile because I have a Crest.” Sylvain purses his lips.

 

“But you–you’ve never treated me differently. Always being there for me and understand me, and…and–I like you, (Y/N). No. I love you so much that it scared me. A lot,” he says, closing his eyes.

 

“You say that, but it doesn’t excuse the things you’ve done.” You didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to let him see mixed expression you were making at  his sudden confession but you knew he was looking at you. Intently.

 

“I was devastated when you left Garreg Mach years ago. I lost you once and I won’t let it happen again. So.... what I’m saying is…” he hesitated and briefly appeared at a loss of words which is very unlike of him.

He hugs you closer very tightly it hurts, cradling you gently against his chest. This close, you can feel the rapid pace of his heart and his nervousness. “Can you give me a second chance?” Sylvain’s touch was awkward and clumsy.

“......I will. But first… Please let me go, Syl. You are crushing me.”

Sylvain paused, as if unsure. “Did you mean that?” Vulnerability colored his tone, softened it. “I’d like to be a man who deserves that. Who deserves you. Even if you want nothing to do with me, one day I will find a way to make it up to you, to earn your forgiveness. I promise.” His voice wasn’t strong with his infamous flirtatious bravado. It was sincere.

 

“You’re so much more than just your Crest or your status, Sylvain Jose Gautier.” Taking his much bigger hand in your tiny ones, you smiled and whisper it against his hand. “You are the most amazing, kind, strongest, and nice man for me. Your path is your own.  I love you just the way you are, Sylvain. Crest or no Crest.” His face turned dark red instantly redder than his hair at your words. Sylvain.exe has stopped working

“You are going to be the death of me, Munchkin!!” Sylvain yells frantically. You can see his ears flushed furious red. He can die happy now. Goddess Sothis please take his soul.

“Why you still call me Munchkin, Syl?” you asked much to your curiousity. “It’s been years but you barely grow a few inch! But y-Ouch!! He yelps when you jab at his stomach. “But you have... grown into a fine, smart, and beautiful woman.”

 

“Time hasn’t been so kind to me in these past years, Syl. After my Father’s passing, I have to succeed him. Being a Marchioness isn’t an easy task but I learned so much and am still learning.”

 

“My sincerest condolences for your loss. But... he must be very proud of you, Munchkin. You will be a great Marchioness. Strong, thorough, quick-witted, and lovely as a—”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Mr. Gautier.” You rolled your eyes at him. The redhead laughs softly and embrace you in his arms.

 

“When this war is over, will you come with me to my homeland? It’s time for the first step in the right direction. I don’t want to marry a girl who wants to use me for my Crest or a girl who someone else chose for me. I want to marry someone I really care about. With you by my side, I’m excited to find out what this new way of life is all about. (Y/N), I’m serious. Marry me. I’d do anything for you. I’m done lying, especially to myself. I’m going to spend the rest of our lives together trying to make you happy. I promise.”

 

 “I’d like to.... introduce you to my parents. They’d love to have a new Gauti—Gyaahh!!!” He shrieked when you stomped your feet on him. “I’m so DONE with you, Syl!!” you said with exasperated look, looking away trying to hide the rising heat in your cheeks. ‘A future with Sylvain...’

 

There’s a pause when you catch his gaze and find something vulnerable there, something familiar. The flicker of hope, mirrored in your expression. It’s as if everything falls into place and clicks. Then his lips were on yours, soft and hesitant, so unlike his usual self. Your eyes fluttered shut, your lips moulding against his, as his hand came up to cup your cheek. It was all the confession you needed.

 

“I will, Syl. I promise.”

---

Bonus:

When Professor and the Blue Lions heard about your new relationship with Sylvain, they offer you heartfelt congratulations and throw a little dinner party. Dimitri is OVERJOYED and sobs a little when he saw you are radiating with so much happiness. Back then in your Academy days, he was the one who worry about you the most when Sylvain treated you poorly, after all. Ashe and Dedue throw a lavish dinner to celebrate (Y/N) and Sylvain’s relationship that evening. Mercedes and Annette provide everyone with tasty sweets and dessert. It was a heartwarming small party among Blue Lions members.

Sadly, Sylvain didn’t get to celebrate it together. Rumors had it that Felix and Ingrid has beaten him to a bloody pulp (with Professor’s EXCLUSIVE permission) because he made you their lovely sweet lil sis wept and hurt. Sylvain kept on mumbling something between “Don’t ever hitting another girl”, “RUIN his Lance of Ruin”, “Don’t ever taint her”, or “You’re finished”. Even the kind and benevolent Mercie turned her back and refuse to heal Sylvain. The Gautier heir almost went to hell that evening.

 

The poor, traumatized philanderer will changing his ways for the better for sure.

[mariinara]

Hcs for Harry Flynn when he realizes that he is in love? 🥺

Awh, fuck yeah! I love me some cocky Englishman!

Well, him realizing he's absolutely smitten with somebody would just be fucking torture because he goes through the five stages of falling in love:

Step 1) BUTTERFLIES!!

- A.K.A, the "happy anxiety".

-Typically, Harry isn't the most candid of men when it comes to showing how much he loves someone, but, boy, oh boy..

-He fucking hates it when he makes a stupid joke or throws a one-liner and you reward him with one of your genuine, bright laughs. He just watches you throwing your head back, eyes closing and crinkles forming at the corners, and you just.. laugh at something he absentmindedly said.

-Don't get it wrong; it's not like Harry doesn't know he's downright charming‐ He's a hit with the ladies! But, when he feels that flutter in his abdomen? It just feels raw. Different.

-And, jesus, when you're apart? He just can't shake you off. He's good at shrugging feelings off. Always has been. Ignoring them is no problem. But coming back home to a cold, empty bed? That's probably the worst of it. And, God, he wishes you were right there next to him, making jokes and telling him all about the things you love and– oh god – what was he THINKING!? That can't be fucking right. He CAN'T be thinking like that. He just needed a drink, right? Maybe a couple. He'll get over it. It's nothing.

-But he just can't deal. He can't fucking get you out of his head. Every little thing reminds him of you. From the warmth of the sun embracing him through his window to the shower that relieves his aching muscles before he goes to bed.

Step 2) BUILDING!!!

-You and Harry have always been out with your group of friends– The Drake brothers, occasionally Chloe and Nadine if they weren't too busy– but you rarely ever go out alone.

-But that one night you did?

-You had time for each other. All the time in the world, in fact, to really just absorb each other– bask in one another's presence.

-With a couple of beers in your systems, Harry was more comfortable confiding in you when it came to childhood stories. Some anecdotes. Straight up embarrassing first dates.

-He'd point the neck of his beer bottle at you and give you a serious stare before going on to say, "Do not snitch on me with the Drakes."

-The smile and the zipping-your-mouth motion you'd do was enough for him to spill his heart out to you.

-Only then did it seem like you really saw each other in different lights.

-Harry always thought you were pretty and effortlessly funny. You thought he was handsome but quite literally the stereotypical English douchebag.

-He was.

-But peeling away at his layers was the most fascinating thing you've ever experienced.

-And him seeing more to you than just a pretty face? It nearly made him lose his whole mind on the spot, because wow you were a completely different person to him during the moments he shared with you.

-Instead of wanting to sleep with each other meaninglessly, you grew curious and interested in gathering more information about each other.

-Especially Harry, because, Good God, when you start info-dumping on him with those stars in your eyes? It feels so good and he still doesn't know why.

Step 3) ASSIMILATION!!!

-There came a time when Harry grew a pair and finally decided to ask you out on an innocent date. Just the two of you. Someplace nice.

-It went well until your social anxiety kicked in and you decided to take it on home.

-With Harry, card games and alcoholic cocktails were a MUST, so if things escalated quickly, no one would be surprised.

-It surprised both of you that it took that long, actually.

-And after messing up his sheets, sharing hot breaths and having your bodies molding together, tethered with sweat and desire, you were finally sound asleep next to him. Right there. Like he'd always wanted.

-The realization kicked in when he sobered up slightly. And, wonder of wonders, it had him absolutely freaking the fuck out. Zero to a hundred real quick.

-He couldn't fucking believe it, really. Everything he'd been hoping for has fallen into place and it was like he didn't plan that far ahead, and at that moment, looking at how peaceful you were when you slept, hair sprawled on his pillows and face turned away from him, chest calmly rising and falling, he felt like he needed to come up with a plan. Immediately.

-And he realized how much you clicked. On every level. You saw eye-to-eye in almost everything. The essentials, at least.

-And when he lazily plopped back down on his bed to take in a calming breath, he closed his eyes and raked his hands down his face, deciding that he definitely needed to make a special place for you to fit in that mess he called his life.

-It was too real. And while he thought the reality of it would terrify him and push him away, it helped gravitate him towards you. Helped keep him grounded and humble, too.

Step 4) HONESTY!!!!

-Vulnerability.

-That was the word Chloe mentioned to Harry. The "Key Word", she'd emphasized.

-As much as something like that had never crossed his mind, Chloe made it make sense to him.

-If he wants you as the one constant in his life, he needed to be as transparent about it as possible.

-Pretty much, it was a make-it or break-it situation.

-Harry doesn't remember sitting around, staring at a wall for a couple of hours, biting on his nails in anxiety. He hasn't been this way since he'd grown out of his teen years.

-Damn. You kicked him right back to childhood. And it was high time for him to accept that.

-He was a man who set his eyes on the prize and almost always got what he wanted. It was how life was for him. If he reached high enough, he could grab the stars if he wanted.

-But, no, everything he'd been looking for was right there, on earth, sitting at the same dinner table with him for years, and he was stupid enough to only flirt with you.

-And he decided.

-He was going to call you to set up another date. An important one. Made sure to tell you to "doll up" so he could hear you telling him "bite me" with that smile in your voice that amused him so much.

-He took you to his favorite spot. Drove you to the middle of a grove. No one but you two there, sitting in his classic Cadillac, and when he was ready, he turned the engine off and turned to you.

-You didn't know. You had no idea. You were beyond confused. Because what were you doing in the middle of nowhere? He wouldn't answer you. Only told you to wait and see. But he seemed different. His eyes were glossed over, like something else had completely taken over his mind. Thoughts clouded by only one thing.

-All it took for him to stop looking at you with soft, yet contemplative eyes that were practically silently begging you not to fucking break his heart because he, frankly, would not know how to recover afterwards was a gently, concerned call of his name and your touch against his knee.

-He breathed deeply. Rubbed his temples. Mumbled a "Fuck me" under his breath before chuckling. He voiced how he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say, and you reminded him that it was just you. That he could definitely trust you. That you'd be here, no matter what it is.

-You rambled on and on about how you'd always have his back. If he wanted to break up, that's fine too. You weren't even looking at him to see the look on his face when you said that. He only stared at you incredulously, like you were stupid.

-And, as usual, you made it so much easier for him to talk. To love you like he always has.

-You forced him to lurch forward and seal your lips with a kiss to shut you up, his hands cupping the sides of your neck, thumbs caressing your jawline, his hot breath shattering against your cheek when he tilted his head to deepen the kiss to feel you melt in his grasp.

-He loved it most when your shoulders grew less tense and you sighed against his lips and he'd open his eyes slightly to watch as your brows melted into that desperate arch.

-That was when he pulled away, as gently as possible, watching you slowly descend back to earth, eyes fluttering and love-drunk, staring back at him.

-And that's when he inhaled deeply and cupped your cheeks firmly, "You are such a stupid woman, has anyone ever told you that before?"

-He was exasperated. But he was soft with you, smiling gently and swallowing, eyes bouncing between yours.

-"Yeah, I might've heard that before.." You chuckled, baring that beautiful smile of yours, cheeks squishing against his hand.

-And he huffed, not being able to take how much his chest was swelling, and he spelled it out, "Fuck, I am so in love with you.."

-You couldn't believe it. Didn't process it at first. It was every single cog in your brain stopped turning.

-But when it sank in, you almost cried out. In both relief and happiness. He wasn't breaking up with you; but he was in love with you, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't waiting for it.

-With a barrage of kisses that had him making surprised noises, you professed your requited love for the man you began to straddle in the car seat, catching him off guard, but relieving him and letting him hold you close, all the same.

Step 5) STABILITY!!!

-Shit, from that moment on?

-Everything moved so fast.

-Even the two years you'd been dating. You didn't even feel them. Celebrating your second anniversary was the weirdest.

-Especially that you realized you were celebrating it in your shared home, on that faithful fall morning, when summer had just ended and everyone could breathe again.

-Getting to discover each other, share your life, food, laughter, smiles, even the small bickering and childish arguments like "you took the whole cover last night and I had to sleep with my bum out for the air conditioning to eat out" only fortified what you had.

-Contrary to what everyone thought of Harry, he was extremely supportive and he gave the best hugs.

-He was the best person to travel with, go on adventures with, have a picture album with, and drunkily makeout with during a boring Netflix movie, frankly.

-You would literally never could've thought it would end up being so perfect for the two of you. Just two flawed humans making the best out of each other and accepting the bad, since it was nothing you.

-Neither of you tried to change the other. You only made sure to be there when needed. And you worked it out in the end, whatever it was.

-As for Harry?

-He has never felt more fulfilled.

-Nothing in this damn world would tie him down, but he realized that having someone to love and for them to love you back like you two did never tied him down, it only sort of set him free in a way he never knew he needed.

-He might've progressed through the five stages, but that never meant that he didn't go back to step one every time you did a thing he loved.

-He was just a big softie for you!

[toukenramblings]

Can i request Hasebe, Tomoe and Kashuu reacting to child!Saniwa asking if they can go to their PTA meeting or watch them during a sports festival at their school pls ?

--

Oh my god.

Babeh.

Sports festival saniwa...oh my god. @rexcaliburechoes REXY HI PLS TAKE DIS FOOD

Heshikiri Hasebe

Hasebe isn’t...all that good with kids? He can tolerate them and as he gets closer to the master, he’ll begin to cherish them. They are still his master, no matter how small they are! Sure it’ll take some getting used to but like...he can handle it....he thinks?

One day they shyly ask him to attend a festival at their school a handwritten invitation given out to him. “I-I trust you...” the little one would say, small little hands gripping the paper to the point it may rip - head bowed as they hold it out to him. Hasebe can’t say no! They are so brave to ask him and he’s flattered really.

When the day of the festival comes, Hasebe had researched what they are like beforehand. He is prepared for the hot sun with copious amounts of water, a hat, bento boxes, so on and so forth! He’s uber prepared! No way is anything bad going to happen!

He cheers the loudest whenever the kid is competing in an event or performing a show like in a cultural festival. He’s taking pictures of how cute they are. He’s going to show EVERYONE back at the citadel how fucking pROUD HE IS OF THEM.

If the kid is doing something like cross country, I think Hasebe would be at least a coach for them. He’s pretty damn fast too, and honestly he’ll be rather damn proud if the kid says that Hasebe’s speed inspired them to start running track. Will he cry??? pROBABLY

If there’s a PTA meeting to attend, Hasebe will honestly dress rather formally. He wants to make a good impression! A sweater vest? A suit? Who knows?! Maybe he’ll slap some glasses on there? Lord knows Hasebe will look good as hell with square frames.

Catch people swooning because gOD DAMN IS HE HANDSOME IN CASUALLY FORMAL CLOTHES

He probably has evidence that the saniwa is a good little kid. He has fucking receipts. Don’t even think about talking bad about this kid in front of him. He’ll counter every point. “They are small and young and yes mistakes do happen, but they will come back from it in the end.” and if the kid has any problems at school, Hasebe will do his best to help them!

Okay but this is a personal headcanon that makes me cry, if the fact that this lil Saniwa is bringing Hasebe along to these events means that they care about him a lot and trust him even more than the rest of the TouDan makes him cry a lil? They are so young after all, gods know that they should not be in a war like this. They need to have a better life and HAsebe knows this. So when the meeting or festival is over, I think the lil one will dedicate a trophy or a drawing towards Hasebe. It’s not much, but this little one cares about him oh so much.

Hasebe found crying when they get home to the citadel.

Tomoegata Naginata

Tomoe is even harder to crack than Hasebe. Yes he’s a faithful attendant but children? What is that????? He has to ask for help and freezes whenever this little one asks him for something like affection. He isn’t all that good with it. But as he starts becoming closer to the kid, his affection is a little more known. He won’t hug them suddenly like Kashuu would but like Hasebe, he’ll give them a head pat in public.

It’s a cultural festival that Tomoe is invited to, a colorful invitation in the hand of the little Saniwa who hesitates. But they want him to come. It’s with their best handwriting, practiced over and over again to get it right. Tomoe remembers seeing evidence of that - the spare sheets of paper and how the little one didn’t want to let him see what in the world they were writing. He accepts of course, he cannot disappoint the Saniwa!

Like Hasebe, he researches what culture or sports festivals are, coming to the event oh so prepared! Water, hats, lunches, money, so on and so forth! Damn fUCKING RIGHT HE’S GOING TO MAKE SURE THIS LIL KID IS SAFE DURING THIS EVENT.

Tomoe has a fine appreciation for the arts, and if the saniwa is an artist or is in a play, damn right he’s going to applaud them. Yes maybe they had budding talent, or maybe they have not talent at all - but he is happy if the little one is happy.

He’s supportive in whatever they do after all! Damn right he’ll stick by their side through thick and thin.

If they play games at the festival, Tomoe is found carrying all of their prizes or just winning them for the little one!

At a PTA meeting, Tomoe is wearing a suit. He has brought a stack of files and is more than ready to listen to whatever this teach has to say about the little one. They labeled him as their guardian after all! Tomoe has to keep up appearances.

Like Hasebe, the naginata could go on and on about how great the little one is. Yes he will say that the little one has some faults but like, listen...he cares for this kid. For every fault the little one has, they make up for it with something they do - a smile or a hug for someone!

If they are struggling, Tomoe will do everything to help them. Math, literature, you name it! He’ll be right there by their side, hovering over their shoulder as they work. He will scold them yes but it’s gentle and reward them with a soft smile whenever they do well.

When did Tomoe catch these emotions? Who tHE FUCK KNOWS?

Kashuu Kiyomitsu

If Kashuu is the saniwa’s starter sword, he’ll be close with the little one for sure. He’ll keep them company through thick and thin and he always does the little one’s nails and keeps them all pretty and happy. Hell they’ll have matching clothes! Damn right they will! Kashuu is not about to let this little one be alone. He knows what it’s like in a way, to be discarded and lonely - so he’s determined and driven to not let the little one feel the same!!

Kashuu-niisan is a bit of a gossip so when he finds out that the little one wants to take him to their festival, of course he’ll be the first to know! He wil happily say yes! He will be raring to go! He will do research on what they are first and of course he’s going to bring a SHIT TON of sunscreen. No way are either of them going to suffer skIN DAMAGE T O D A Y. of course it’s important to keep hydrated too and he asks horikawa to teach him how to cook so he can make lil snackies for the saniwa.

Honestly he hates going outside and being under the sun. He is under this parasol as he watches the little one run about. Of course, Kashuu will always hold their hand as they walk about. He’s not letting this little one out of his fUCKING SIGHT.

Honestly the fact that the little one has labeled Kashuu as their legal guardian makes hm want to sob? Yes Kashuu is a bit...high maintenance and loves being pampered but the love and adoration of a little one - who is growing up all too fast mind you - is something....new to him? It’s comforting in a way, and it gives him another reason to always come home to them. It’s a little selfish, ti know that this child still needs him compared to Okita who threw him away when he was useless. Thus, Kashuu has a habit of trying to almost...take Hasebe’s spot as the attendant at times?

Anyway back to happiness: Kashuu watches the little one like a hawk but knows when to have fun. Half of the time he does get a weee bit distracted here and there - looking at cute clothes or spotting something that the little one likes! Maybe he’ll drag them around to a little festival stall or something to get food or buy things for peeps back at the citadel? Who knows?!

gOD DAMN RIGHT KASHUU IS GOING TO SCREAM THAT THIS KID IS DOING AMAZING THINGS.HE’S GOING TO RECORD ALL OF THIS TOO. HE WANTS THIS KID TO KNOW THAT HE’S SO FUCKING PROUD OF THEM AND EVERYTHING THAT THEY DO, HE’LL FIGHT A HO FOR THEM TF ARE YOU LOOKING AT???

At a PTA meeting, of course Kashuu is going to dress to the nines! A lil flashy but it’s most likely some kinda suit. Maybe a floral suit? Fuck yeah. Who the hell knows. Like black suits are fine and dandy but like...where’s the variety???He’s going to look like a DAMN MODEL

Whatever the kid needs, Kashuu will be there. He isn’t as perfect as Hasebe or Tomoe at like the normal school stuff but that doesn’t mean he can’t try! He does and can and will try to help damn it! He’ll ask for Hakata to teach him math if he gotta.

No matter what, Kashuu is going to want to be there. If the kid is suffering in school, he’ll hold their hands and walk them to school or do whatever he needs to for them. He’ll hold their hand during the meeting and he may not have receipts like HAsebe or Tomoe to show proof that the kid is going great but but Kashuu knows the lil one is doing amazing.

To Kashuu, it’s the little things that make the little one adorable and his desire to protect them just...grows stronger and stronger. They smile at him and work so damn hard that it reminds him much of Okita - how he kept on going despite his illness. He would be damned if this little one falls. He’s going to do everything to prevent it.

[couvers]

4 & 9 for the dialogue prompts with percabeth !! any time period works<3

4. “Stop laughing.”

9. “This is your fault.”

It had been Percy's idea. He should have known it was a bad one, though he wasn't quite sure he could completely call it bad. His bad idea had resulted in uninterrupted Annabeth time, which alone should have made it a good idea.

That time had become increasingly difficult to come by since graduation, between Percy's intensive training schedule and Annabeth focusing on getting Piper through the breakup. Sometimes, lately, it felt like they were living worlds apart. Percy didn't begrudge Annabeth the fact they had less time for each other, especially since it was mostly because of him and she'd already taken the entire summer off just for sake of being around to support him, and he knew they'd get through it once his competition season ended, but he really did miss her.

Relationships were a two way street, though, and Percy wasn't about to let a pesky thing like always being sore and exhausted get in the way of his making an effort, because Annabeth had made a massive effort the last few weeks – basically living at his beck and call even while also balancing Piper’s needs; waking up to see him off every morning even on the mornings she was exhausted from having her sleep interrupted by Piper’s nightmares; doing chores for both of them while he trained so he didn't have to worry about anything when he got home at night.

On his way home the Friday before he and Annabeth would be leaving for Omaha, Percy had the perfect opportunity to make that effort, because Piper intended to stay at work late making up for what she’d missed after her emergency trip to Malibu. Percy also knew Annabeth was still a little shaken from Luke’s surprise visit the night before, no matter how hard she tried to put up a strong front. Hell, he was still shaken over that visit. They both needed this time alone together.

Confident in his plan, Percy stopped at the store to pick up a few things he knew they didn't have at the apartment, but would need. Getting Annabeth and Piper’s pantry in working order had been a massive task over the last few months, a constant work in progress that had him at the store more often than should ever be necessary. It didn't take long, though, and soon he stepped through the front door to discover her sprawled out on the couch, looking like an absolute vision in his NYU Swimming hoodie and a pair of shorts.

Before Annabeth could even get the question out, Percy held up his bag from the store and said, “Let’s bake cookies.”

“I don’t feel like burning the apartment down tonight,” Annabeth replied, staring at his bag in much the same way someone would look at an active bomb timer. She wasn’t too far off the mark, honestly.

“I will make sure you don’t burn anything down,” he assured her, kicking off his shoes and dropping his duffle bag by the door. Piper was probably going to yell at him for it when she got home, but that was a problem for later. Hopefully by then they would have cookies to placate her.

When Annabeth continued to stare at him and the bag with plain disdain, he lifted it again, shook it, and curled his bottom lip into an exaggerated pout. “Please?”

“That’s never worked when Piper’s tried it on me and it’s not going to work when you do it, either,” she said, but it was a lie. He’d seen Piper’s pitiful expressions work on her before and he could see her resolve wavering right there on the couch, too. A second later she groaned and set her phone on the coffee table. “Fine.”

Her mood improved quickly once they were in the kitchen. There were countless excuses to touch her, which Percy had been counting on, and Annabeth didn’t mind him wrapping his arms around her from behind and directing her hands as she measured ingredients based on the recipe from his mom on his phone. About halfway through preparing the dough she got overheated and peeled off her (his) sweater, and Percy had the added bonus of enjoying the view of her in nothing more than a dark blue camisole instead. He seriously loved his girlfriend in blue, and it matched perfectly with the shade their hands turned when they added a few drops of food coloring to the dough at the end of the prep process.

Once the first batch had been put in the oven, Annabeth and her blue hands started munching on leftover chocolate chips, tossing the occasional chip in Percy’s direction to catch in his mouth. Most of them landed on the floor, so he decided to give up on the game. Instead he crossed to where she leaned against the counter. Percy used his blue hands to lift her onto the counter and they wasted the last few minutes of bake time enjoying the hint of chocolate on each other’s lips instead.

“No, forget about them,” Annabeth whined when he pulled away at the sound of their timer going off.

“That’s how you burn the apartment down, Beth,” he replied with a throaty chuckle, though he wasn’t too happy about the interruption, either. She stuck her tongue out at him.

Percy placed the first batch on the cooling rack and slipped the second batch into the oven, not at all surprised that Annabeth remained seated on the counter behind him, just watching. Her arms were around him instantly when he returned to her, and this time they spent the whole eight minutes of bake time on hungry lips, teasing tongues, and wandering blue hands. For the first time in his almost twenty-three years of life, Percy felt like cookies baked too fast. He definitely wasn’t ready to pull away from her again when the timer went off a second time.

“Can we try them yet?” she asked, once he’d set the second batch to cool, still watching from the counter.

“An hour ago you didn’t even want to do this,” Percy reminded her, testing one of the cookies from the first batch with his finger to make sure it had cooled enough. In his eyes, the cookies looked just about perfect. Sally Jackson would be proud, and he had half a mind to take a picture and send it to her. They had talked at length about the sorry state of Annabeth’s kitchen experience.

Annabeth nodded, not even bothering to deny the truth, and kicked her heels against the cabinet beneath her. “But I did do it, so now I deserve to reap the rewards of my hard work.”

“Your hard work? I did most of the work here,” he objected, though he picked up two cookies and came to stand between her dangling legs. This time there would be no timer to call him away, and he definitely looked forward to enjoying the taste of their cookies on her mouth.

“My hands are blue,” she told him, snapping one of the cookies out of his hand. “I earned this.”

“Don’t worry, I’m an expert at washing food coloring off skin,” Percy replied, smiling when she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. Neither of them bothered to say another word before biting into their cookies.

He really wished he had not bitten into that cookie. Overpowering just about every other flavor was salt. Just salt. Like the whole cookie was salt and nothing else, not even chocolate chips. Both of them choked on their bites, faces scrunching up in twin expressions of disgust. Percy had time to run to the trash to spit it out, but Annabeth had to spit the thing straight into her hand. As she slipped off the counter to dump her handful of half chewed cookie in the trash, Percy went to the fridge for a bottle of water and guzzled half of it down.

Annabeth immediately reached for the bottle as soon as he’d finished taking his first drink, following his example, and it was then Percy burst into laughter. She shoved his shoulder gently as swished a little water around in her mouth and he laughed harder. “Stop laughing!”

“What did you do?” he asked, getting another shove when he continued to laugh.

“Me?” she replied, pointing to herself and shaking her head. “This is your fault.”

“You were the one who measured everything out.”

“You were supposed to be watching me so this wouldn’t happen – and stop laughing.”

Percy couldn’t have stopped laughing if he wanted to, and he kind of didn’t even want to. “I just don’t understand how you got so much salt in them.”

Her eye twitched, the adorable and sexy little twitch that had entranced him the first time they’d spoken months before and had only become more endearing with time. Annabeth tossed the emptied plastic bottle at him and turned on her heel to storm away. “This is why I didn’t even want to make the stupid cookies!”

“Beth, wait,” Percy called after her, easily catching up to her two step head start. He slipped his arms around her waist from behind and held tight, her halfhearted struggle to escape no use and only making him laugh more. “I’ll bake another batch for you. You can just sit and watch from the counter.”

“It’s too late,” she grumbled. “You ruined cookies.”

“I’ll make dinner, too,” he continued, leaning down to press his lips against her neck. The first time he’d made her eye twitch like that, he’d had to walk away. Now when he did it – and he did it pretty often – he got to enjoy the process of appeasing her, and the exceptionally good mood that always followed.

Annabeth considered his offer carefully, tilting her head to the side to allow him better access to her neck in the meantime, which he took full advantage of. “On one condition,” she decided.

“What’s that?” Percy asked against her skin, a smile pulling at his lips.

“You have to wear your apron,” Annabeth said firmly.

His smile grew a little wider. “That’s not much of a condition.”

“Only your apron,” she amended, her voice smug and taunting, a challenge to test his resolve. It seemed they’d transitioned from eye twitching mad to exceptionally good mood unusually fast that evening.

God, did he love her.

[arcticdementor]

Other possible Holocausts: why pro-lifers are lying to us, and why thats a good thing

…

Ive had a running argument over the past few years that the raw lack of anti-abortion terrorist action proves no one really thinks abortion is murder, ie. intentional 1st degree murder of a life equal to yours or mine.

Ive always gotten pushback to quote WillyWang:

The "revealed preference" of those that oppose abortion but don't firebomb clinics and kill doctors? It won't help, you'll be made an example of in the negative sense, and civilized norms are more important than a useless symbolic point. One clinic destroyed won't end abortion, after all.

From which this Effort-post got its Genesis:

Would you say the same about those who participated in the french resistance or Warsaw Ghetto rising to Nazi Germany?

Everyone of those claims applies there: they were likely to be made examples of, they were damaging civilized norms, and any given action had relatively little to no impact.

Yet the same people who insist abortion is murder, and thus that America is committing a holocaust, yet denounce any of the people who employed violence against abortion doctors or clinics, and can’t distance themselves fast enough from any call for violence... none of those people apply the same logic to the first holocaust. None of them say the frenchmen who bombed german police stations where dangerous terrorists who deserved their executions, none of them denounce the Warsaw ghetto rising as an attack on civilization.

…

If anti-abortion advocated genuinely believed a fetus was a equivalent human life to yours or mine or the little kids they see walk to school, and that this was an ongoing holocaust of American Children at a scale possibly 10x or more what was done to the jews... they wouldn’t need to come up with ad hoc reasons why they don’t resort to violence, their mind would be screaming at them to take bloody vengeance 24/7 in righteous outrage, demanding that oceans of blood and fire be unleashed that it might wash clean the horror, that nuclear fire would be be an acceptable emergency shut off to end such wanton and cruel slaughter... and if thinking through all the logic they concluded that no violence wouldn’t help and they must pursue some peaceful negotiation to stop the slaughter, then their minds recoil and call themselves cowards and the moment of coming to that conclusion would be an ongoing trauma they’d carry with them for the rest of their life, even if they knew they were 100% right. They would meet the “pro-choice” and barely be able to conceal their desire to see them dead or imprisoned... they would meet women who had had abortions and scream bloody murder at them and tell them they deserve the death penalty, the way many of the same people react when presented with women who’d murdered their children, but after their children had left the womb.

The people who were jailed for assassinating abortionists, or fire-bombing clinics would be folk heroes lionized in songs and crowd funded hagiographic documentaries and folk traditions, like John Brown, or John Wilkes Booth, or Louis Reil, or Saco and Vancety, or Huey Newton, or Malcolm X, or David Koresh, or Levoy Finecolm... or hell even just Jesse James, or Killdozer.

Americans abort on average 1 million plus babies a year... that means if abortion is murder and those are human lives, then the 50 years since Roe vs.Wade has been a worse crime than the holocaust, slavery, or the crimes of Stalin, and we’d have to consult a historian to see if they were worse than Mao (on a per capita basis, certainly)...

This would be the worse crime ever commited, the greatest mass slaughter ever perpetrated in human history, and 50 years later our society would remain committed to repeating it in the next 50 years.

If that does not demand violence, then nothing in human history ever has, no even defensive war has ever been justified, and only Jainists and Jehovah’s witnesses are morally acceptable actors. An extreme unexceedable pascifism we know the vast majority of anti-abortion advocates do not endorse, since they overwhelming supported or at-least did not conspicuously oppose the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (over a mere 3000 Americans dead, and a less than a years abortions worth of Iraqis killed by Saddam) and continue to conspicuously “Support our troops” troops that exist to carry out violence, despite their moral commitments saying they can apparently never in human history be justified.

.

When i say this proves “Pro-lifers” clearly do not believe a fetus is an equal human life, thats me being incredibly charitable. That is me extending a overwhelming large olive branch, that is me expressing a stupendous care and concern and sympathy and brotherly love to rival the best 19th century dinner host, the dearest of friends, a benevolent older sibling, a lover, a parent, a mother who on hearing the taped confession of her son to serial murder, doesn’t hesitate once before screaming “you monsters you’ve drugged and tortured him! What threats have you made to my grandchild! He would only say such things to save his daughter’s life!”

My claiming they are full of shit and lying to themselves, to you, and to me, is an expression of love and faith in my fellow man which until now I did not realized I possessed nor was capable of...

Because if I merely took them at their word? If I believed that they believed what they say they believe? They would be monsters.

.

Lets play a game called “Other Possible Holocausts”. Approximately 800,000 babies where aborted this year.

Lets imagine the US government has just announced that crime has gotten to cumbersome and that over the next 3 years it plans to execute every single one of the 2.4 million people in US prisons jails and Jeuvenile detention centres.

Lets imagine that to reform education, the US resolves to kill the bottom 1% of all 80 million students in the country based on an age adjusted standardized test every year.

Lets imagine hatred of the obese takes off, and a policy is passed to resolve America’s 30% obesity rate by the mass instituting of bounties on hunting and killing the obese... that every year 800,000 to 1.5 million tags will be issued for a fee to allow the hunting of the obese in return for monetary rewards on successful hunts and getting to keep the carcasses for meat base animal foods and the manufacture of fuel, or fat based household products. These bounty hunters become known a “whalers”.

Lets imagine the US announces its done with African Americans... if the problem hasn’t been solved since 1619, its not going to be... and so they’re going to genocide all 40 million African Americans at a rate of 2% a year, for the next 50 years.

Lets imagine opposing extremists get in charge and decide the racists rednecks have to go, and so they’ll be forming death squads to roam the South, Appalachia, and the rust belt, with the objective of killing 800,000 poor whites a year, “until the problem is solved”... with many happily stating 50 years of this would be acceptable, while others state it’d be perfectly fine to renew it another 50 years after that.

…

These are all American lives, and according to pro-lifers of equal moral value to the babies aborted every day, no better, no worse.

By saying this and by saying violence is not and cannot be justified to resist it, they are saying that their reactions to any one of the above eventualities would be to continue to live their lives as they have lived the past 50 years.

I do not know how to respond to that. Even if Abortion is truly murder of an ensouled equal human life... The Pro-choicers committing the murders don’t think it is... hell the Nazis murdered 6 million jews and a further 5 million undesirables, but they didn’t think of them as human, they thought they were monstrous and “life unworthy of life”, like a burning man begging you to shoot him so he doesn’t suffer or hurt his fellows... a mercy in a way.

Pro-lifers on the other hand claim these are equal viable human lives of equal status to yours or mine or perhaps even greater.... They’re Children.

And their reaction to the greatest mass slaughter in human history, the reaction of almost half the electorate, who regularly talk about the need to resist tyrrany and defend the weak (as both left and right in the US do, in their way), their reaction is to vote every 4 years, and have it perhaps not even be the #1 issue if the economy seems bad, they have the opportunity to vote for the first black president, or the Orangeman says something crude about Mexicans... they won’t be single issue voters even when it comes to the greatest crime ever committed in human history?

.

I refuse to believe it. Even I, cynical as I am, have to believe we are not that far gone, and the age of men has not come crashing down... i would believe the US capable of such a crime, but to believe that a double digit percentage of Americans could look at that, recognize the victims as their fellow humans,recognize their state and society as committing mass murder of their neighbours, future friends, and relatives...to recognize that they have a moral imperative to act on this... and then just go “welp them’s the breaks, gotta be civilized” because 9 people in black robes said it wasn’t murder?

Holy fuck. No that is not how people work, that is not how humans behave, I cannot accept that, and leftists who spent the summer rioting in response to fewer than a thousand police killings of black men a year, who remember the civil rights and anti-war movements, who kinda vaguely recall that they’re supposed to remember Huey Newton, or Saco and Vanseti, or those Rossen...something people... who like to imagine they’d have been abolitionists in the 19th century. They’re right to call bullshit.

They’re right to call the pro-lifers liars who don’t believe their own messaging, and instead just want to control women’s bodies, after a lie like that to their face, they’re right to treat them with scorn.

…

Pro-life is rescuable as a sentiment and an activist movement...

But not while it claims a Holocaust is going on and somehow magically no violence could ever be justified to resist it, thus lining up all the arguments that will allow the next holocaust to be committed without resistance.

There have been a double digit, perhaps even a triple digit number of mass murders and genocides in the hundreds of thousands or millions of people, since the 20th century. America is enabling its ally Saudi Arabia to commit one against the Yemenis right fucking now.

We need to be very fucking clear about what it is justified to do to members of a regime that commits such a crime, and what it is definitely justified to do to the immediate perpetrators of the murder. And That we will back violent resistance to such a horrible crime by the state even if it serves only to make the resister a martyr we’ll praise, or it degrades “civilization” (what civilization could remain in such a regime?), or it ultimately has no effect (it is on the survivor to try harder)... The major members of the House of Saud deserve the Gallows under international law for what they’re doing in Yemen , as do their American attaches and core enablers... and if that comes from a Judge in the Hauge or from a convoy of irregulars in pickup trucks, or from lone assassins who manage to get through to them, It is justice, and i will praise it.

What we cannot do is pretend that genocides and mass slaughter on unconscionable scales are occurring and then come up with excuses for why we should do nothing and anyone who does resist is a criminal. Or else those excuses will be the ones that allow the next real genocide in the west or on US soil to actually happen.

If there is a genocide or democide or whatever you want to call mass slaughter. You must recognize the justice the violent resistance to it, even if you personally do not participate, or you must admit you were lying about there being such a crime... to say otherwise, to say a state can commit such a crime and still retain its right to your loyalty, to say a people up to and including its victims must obey such a thing, a creature made of bureaucracy that has set its sights on massacring humans by the thousands if not millions... it is to side against the human race in a war of extermination.

And as someone whose pro-choice as they come, I’d much rather, if the pro-lifers really believe its murder, I’d much rather they start a bloody civil war, than for it to become the norm that that is ethically acceptable.

[kcatta-wodahs]

Hey there :3 May I request a matchup🙈? I'm a 5'6 tall, queer, chin long dyed red haired girl(she/her) and you can call me Karo if you need a name :p I don't really care if it's a single pairing or a poly one as well as the kind of relationship (platonic/romantic/sexual), but maybe a romantic one would be sweet🤔 I'm a INFP and was born under the sign of Pisces and I think the stereotype fits me pretty well lol. I don't think I would describe myself as clingy, I definetely need my space (part1)

and me-time, but sometimes it's also nice to have someone who will drag me outside to do stuff or socialize if I'm isolating myself too much or another depressive episode seems to creep up on me. I think they need to understand, doesn't matter if it's a platonic or romantic relationship, that sometimes I can't give them much(time etc) and that that's nothing personal and that they're still very important to me. Hmmm I think I would prefer my relationship like I like my fanfics hehe, slow burning, like first get to know each other, (enemies to) friends to lovers is just *chefs kiss* for me <3 I really love to draw and sing, to dance too, I like to spend time in nature and with animals, help them too. But I also like adrenaline rushes, like rollercoasters, cave exploring, bungee jumping, exploring lost places etc, I would say I'm almost up to anything if it's exciting or interesting, but I definetely like just chilling and watching netflix, playing games or watching Vine compilations or crackhead satire twilight tiktoks(which is tbh the things I do most of the time until someone drags me out). I love making others laugh with just random outbursts(thats pretty much my humour, just randomness and gen z memes). I try not to judge anyone for anything and be open for all kinds of stuff, except for like non-negotiable things for me like racism, homophobia, sexism etc, like, full offense but I have absolutely a zero tolerance for that. I also get very emotional very easily, doesn't matter if it's something not so important like a touching movie scene(so many things make me cry so easily haha) or like in an argument. I really have a hard time argueing, I hate it SO much, I either try to avoid conflict(and run away like a coward lol) or if it's really something we have to discuss I sometimes need time and space in between(not the best under stress talker/thinker), but if the other side is being calm and considerate then I think I would be fine too Oh almost forgot,I love cuddling(definetely also platonic)and am not afraid to just throw myself at my friends/lover/s I am getting better at not caring about what others think, but sometimes I'm still pretty insecure about everything(my actions,my future,my appearence..),but my motto is fake it till you make it,so feck other people,I can do whatever the hell I like and nobody's gonna stop me hehe😈🙈 Soo yes,I think that will be enough😂Thank you for your time and effort👐💕👐

A/N: I promise you fake it til you make it is 100000% good strategy and also i see feck are you from ireland

I pair you with.... The Attic Sandwich!

Beel and Belphie would be perfect partners for you. The two of them balance each other out in many ways, and you fit right into that. They value the connection between them and because of it they don't expect to always be around each other. This connection extends to you. Beel takes you out to all sorts of places (usually ones where there's unique food) and would definitely have fun with some adrenaline rushes. It makes him forget about his hunger for a bit. Belphie is absolutely there for your sense of humor and he's very good at watching your depression and arranging something to cheer you up.

More Below the Cut!

The plot of the first 20 chapters is what really gets you close to these two. (Spoilers for that follow and in the last three bullet points) Beel opens up more and more to you, and just absolutely falls for you. Belphie gives us that sweet, sweet enemies to lovers trope. He becomes curious about you, especially with how smitten Beel is, and ends up falling along the way.

THIS is the cuddliest group to ever cuddle oh my goodness when you want snuggles you will have them

They adore just relaxing with you. The three of you become a pile on the couch while watching movies or other videos.

Beel will watch you scroll through tumblr while he engulfs you with his arms. Belphie somehow worms his way into yours and alternates between sleeping against your chest and watching your screen as well. You hear an occasional snort of laughter from him.

Beel is very emotionally intelligent, so he can quickly determine your mood and what he can do to help.

Belphie encourages you to break out of your shell and be yourself. He's very blunt about his opinion of other people lol

He finds himself staying awake longer with you just so he can hear you. He thinks you're hilarious, honestly, and loves talking with you.

When you throw yourself at Beel he catches you. He big and strong and loves affection from you. but also this happens https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIhl1cW9Me8

Belphie thinks its the funniest shit he can't breathe

If you do it to Belphie honestly he just stands there - either to let you fall or cling to him like a koala. He looks so Done but I promise he loves it. He laughs at you either way. He saves hugs and cuddling for when laying in bed or sitting. Too tired to hold you.

They both understand needing space, and will often just go off and do their own thing. They have complete faith in your feelings for each other, and will never doubt that you love them.

At least not for needing alone time - Belphie has lingering guilt over plot but he tries to make up for it by protecting you.

The others in the house can't help but be reminded of the trio they were with Lilith as angels.

While it still hurts to remember, Beel and Belphie feel almost as if they've come home around you. A part of them that was lost is found again. 

Snippet!

Cleaning day is nobody's favorite, but least of all Belphie's. Too much work. Just don't take ou your stuff and then you don't have to clean it later, right? The problem to him seems to be all the time people spend awake and he shouldn't have to deal with it!

But cleaning day is a little better with Beel and Karo. With their laughs and energy. Usually seeing other people so active drained him, but not with those two. He watched as Karo danced around the room to the music she had put on, while she and Beel tidied up. It was frankly adorable, and best of all: Belphie wasn't expected to join.

He was happy to watch. He watched as Karo spun into Beel's side, surprising him and causing him to stumble before he laughed and swept her up into a spin together. He watched as Beel picked Karo up with ease to put something on the top shelves of the room. He watched Karo find pillows in all the nooks and crannies of the room, and he huffed and whined when she threw each one at him on the bed.

Belphie was on snack duty. In exchange for the two helping him with cleaning day, he was expected to provide the rewards. This was not a small feat when Beel was involved, but it was far better than cleaning.

"Hah! The closet is done!" Karo declared, brandishing her feather duster. "Snack us, Belphie!"

He couldn't help but chuckle. It was an awful phrase. Silly and stupid, but Karo's enthusiasm was just so contagious. 

"Good job. C'mere," he told them, reaching to his hoard of treats.

Karo practically jumped onto the bed, grinning at him, while Beel was close behind looking very expectant. Belphie hid the curling smile of his lips by lifting up a large bag. "The closet is the biggest monster of them all - so for defeating it, you two get this."

Karo gasped and Beel's eyes gleamed. "Oh, those are my favorite..." he said, already reaching out.

"Ah-ah," Belphie pulled the bag back, to be met with a pout from Beel. "You'll eat them too fast for Karo to get any, so we're gonna do something different."

"Different?" Karo asked. 

Belphie smirked and opened the bag, which led to a very audible tummy rumble from Beel. He and Karo couldn't help but laugh. He pulled out a snack - just one - and held it up. "Karo, say 'aaah'." 

She beamed at him and opened her mouth. "Aaah!" Belphie tried really hard to keep his blush down as he dropped the snack in her mouth. She was so darn cute about everything. 

"Now you give one to Beel."

"Just one?" 

"Just one," Belphie agreed, smirking at the pout.

It didn't last long though, as Karo held up the snack and said "aaah" to Beel. He eagerly opened his mouth for the treat, but shocked himself by blushing heavily once she leaned over to feed him. Karo didn't comment, but seemd to be rather proud of the fact.

Belphie fed her another, and she followed up with Beel - but Beel took her hand after stealing the snack from her fingertips. He couldn't help but kiss the palm of her hand. "You're... so cute," he mumbled. "I like this."

"I thought you would," Belphie said, pleased with himself. "Karo?" he held up another. 

She went for the treat, but instead he pulled it away, holding it above his head. "Beel gave you a kiss, don't I get one too?"

Karo paused and blinked before laughing and leaning in. "You're adding new rules," she told him. 

"Never said I couldn't," he answered, giving her a light peck on the lips before presenting her with the treat. The look of satisfaction in her eyes made his heart pound, and he could tell that Beel's was just as busy.

"My turn," Beel said quickly. Whether he meant for a snack or for a kiss... well. We shall see.

[danwhobrowses]

AEW Women’s Eliminator Tournament - Full Review

So as of tonight’s Dynamite the winner of the Eliminator Tournament is in the books, either Nyla Rose or Ryo Mizunami have overcome the other to earn the right to face Hikaru Shida at Revolution on Sunday

But now is time to look at the tournament as a whole and review how well AEW’s latest ambitious Women’s Division Project would/should be received

Warning: There will be immediate spoilers for the Winner under the ‘Keep Reading’, if you do not wish to know the Winner do not read until you have

So when the smoke cleared and the dust settled, Ryo Mizunami came out on top having pinned Nyla Rose for the win, claiming the spot at Revolution and the tournament.

Boy was my prediction wrong eh?

After being given the trophy by Shida however, Aniki refused to let go of the champion, trading and inviting blows from each woman until Shida was able to knock Mizunami down and raise the title aloft.

Was she people’s first choice to win? Probably not Is she an unworthy winner? Absolutely not

Mizunami is extremely experienced, her charisma can reach all ages, she has a genuine love for the wrestling (her sunglasses even have ‘I <3 AEW’ on them), she has aforementioned history with Shida and she went through 2 Fan-Favourites, the legendary Aja Kong and finally the previous Women’s Champion and No.1 Ranked Woman to get here.

And while we are on that topic, to the people who immediately condemned and criticized the tournament when Nyla made the finals: Don’t you get tired of being worked so easily? Honestly we had the exact same thing with the Deadly Draw, people don’t want competitor A (Nyla/Brandi and Allie) to win: so AEW put them in the finals so they root for competitor B (Aniki/Diamante and Iveliesse). Ye of so little faith

I also like to mention that it’s quite nice of Mizunami to be this rewarded by AEW and Shida given how she appeared on their first show at Double or Nothing, I didn’t know it at the time of my bracket rundown but apparently Mizunami was about to retire after DoN, but the crowd and energy of the match inspired her to keep going and push to reach a wider audience - which AEW is now letting her achieve.

Get it out of the way - The Negatives Make no mistake this tournament was great, but it doesn’t mean it was perfect. Of course my earliest criticism was that we could’ve had more, a bittersweet feeling I got when I realised the tournament was nearing its close. While yes it would’ve been nice to see the likes of Big Swole, KiLynn King, Allie, Penelope and perhaps even some debuts/returns, we cannot slight AEW too much for keeping the bracket small.

Time however was a bit of a constraint on AEW’s part. Having revealed late that the winner will face Shida for Revolution, the tournament matches started coming out fast...but on Youtube. Personally, I had no problem with the matches being a sole focus stream on Youtube, but I can also understand why not putting at least the entire American bracket on Dynamite would’ve hurt the tournament. If the tournament had more time I do believe that each match would’ve had a Dynamite showing and not a broken BR Live stream (but please note that BR Live were the problem there, not AEW).

A non-AEW criticism as well for Injury screwing over Anna Jay right as she was about to have her match, extremely rude of the world and we hope her shoulder heals up faster than usual.

The final criticism is probably with the BR Live US Bracket Finals video, simply put it was lacking compared to other streams. Madi vs Leva and Leyla vs Alize didn’t shine as much as Riho vs Rosa and the 6 Woman Joshi tag did in the prior stream, we could’ve probably gotten better matches out of that.

Why I loved it - The Positives I will look at anyone who says that this tournament was a waste and meaningless dead in the eye and tell them they are wrong, and they will be shocked to find that I am not lying.

The tournament not only put a lot of attention on the competing women but became a platform for AEW to show that they have some impressive women on their roster. The returns of Yuka, Emi and Riho paired with the stalwart performances of Baker, Rosa and Nyla as well as the bright showings of Madi, Anna, Tay Conti and Leyla shows that AEW still have a really good Women’s Division - I mean I love WWE but you have to admit their NXT women’s division bought many of their stars ready-made; Io, Toni, KLR, Meiko and Candice were already established names before WWE. Stack that on top of impressive performances by Red Velvet and Jade Cargill last night and the ranks of Big Swole, Allie, Penelope Ford, Kris Statlander, Shanna, KiLynn King and Tesha Price and you still have a strong division.

The tournament proved its worth also by the fact that there was not a single bad match on there, we had some bangers on each stage ranging from Yuka vs Emi, Rosa vs Riho, Nyla vs Baker and Leyla vs Rosa, among several others. The tournament succeeded in giving us great wrestling even with different formats of face vs face, heel vs heel, speed vs power, technique vs power, and even some new shades to the women such as heel Sakura and face Nyla.

I cannot praise the tournament without heaping a ton of praise on the Joshi. Shida and Kenny had always been adamant to show that the Joshi can be a revelation to Western audiences and they were paid in kind in that regard. All six Joshi brought out their A-Game to the point where several are asking for them to be signed, Sakura’s heel ‘Killer Queens’ faction rose interest with a fantastic entrance, while VENY dazzled with their gymnastic talent (and their wearing of the late Hana Kimura’s kimono), Mei Suruga and Yuka Sakazaki lit up the room with their speed and fun and Maki Itoh continues to be adored by the wider world into megastardom. The six woman tag as well was a nice cherry on the top to once again showcase the women, including Rin Kadokura who was fed to Aja Kong in the tournament, every bit of energy and charisma from the Joshi landed on the mark, it has opened several new fans to their home brands (TJPW however did kinda give away that Yuka wouldn’t win given how she was booked for one of their shows, but they’re still great) and have us gasping for more of those six and perhaps some extra, Miyu Yamashita for instance? Think about it TK

One thing that can really harm a tournament too is predictability, which this tournament did not have. You have to commend the balls of AEW to set up 5 fan favourite choices to win and have them each be felled and swerve the entire fanbase. It was for the most part good swerves as well, leading up to the Nyla work included, and actually made me feel like this tournament had big stakes for each member. People will criticize its unpredictability but I won’t be one of them, just because it didn’t go how you personally predicted it doesn’t mean it’s bad.

Also a stand out yes for Rosa’s several gear, especially the Selena one against Riho, and Hikaru Shida herself slaying it in the white suit, like lord almighty thank you for this food.

Was it worth it? - Conclusion This is an emphatic yes for me. AEW will always have its critics, fair and unfair, but if you have to wonder whether this tournament is a success you have to simply look at it this way

Were you entertained?

For me yes, there was a 100% consistency in good to great matches in this tournament paired with genuine surprises that got people talking and invested in the tournament itself.

Did it give you something fresh?

A dark horse winner who earned her way to face Shida for the 5th career time and 1st time in an AEW ring through outwrestling, outpowering and outwitting their previous opponents, unique heel/face changes and a showcase of new wrestlers and matchups? I’d say that’s a yes

Did anyone get over?

You ask anyone before this tournament was announced who Ryo Mizunami, Maki Itoh, VENY or Mei Suruga was and you’d likely get blank faces, thanks to AEW they are known and commended by several fans outside of Japan. You ask people if Tay Conti can bring a physical match to Nyla and almost win and you’d get a few murmurs, if you asked people if they though Kenny was valid for his push to bring the Joshi into a wider audience prior to this may’ve said no. Those minds were changed because these women got over. In addition to that the popularity of Thunder Rosa, Riho and Yuka Sakazaki has continued to rise as some of AEW’s top babyfaces, Leyla Hirsch, Emi Sakura and Tay Conti’s stock have rose thanks to the tournament and Nyla and Baker have delivered on strong match performances.

When you consider those three, there is no way you could call the tournament a failure or a waste, people benefitted from it in a good way which means it was a good tournament.

I for one will look forward to seeing Shida take on Aniki and see how it unfolds at Revolution - which I hope to do a review for, I’m also guessing that Paul Wight’s aquisition is either Christian or Okada. Many will of course assume that this is an easy retain for Shida (and act like winning the tournament means you should win the following match as if people don’t win the Royal Rumble/MITB/KOTR/Dusty Classic and lose in their title shot), but how many of those people thought that Itoh, Kong, Yuka and Nyla would beat Mizunami? She keeps on extending the party and coming out on top, you cannot underestimate the tournament winner, Shida produced this tournament, she’s picked her winner now she needs to fight them.

[i-am-gusu]

The Picnic Date

(I still think titles on a blog no one reads is ridiculous)

Okay, first of all, can I say how proud of myself I am? I held his hand! I told myself I would do it and I did! I’m getting better at this. I still haven’t told him anything about me being here but that is for later (also I talked with Huaisang this morning, he came to the café, and when Mianmian was away, I asked him if it was okay to be stalking someone online and anonymously send them messages. He asked me with an incredulous laugh if I was trolling someone or something, and I just looked at him. He stopped laughing and then just said “If you’re talking about stalking Wei Ying’s blog, let me remind you that HE is the one who gave you the URL, that it is public for everyone to see, and that honestly he seems pretty happy with whatever you’re throwing at him. Except maybe money. Dude, stop giving him so much money like it’s lollipops to a kid. Give it to me instead.” I squinted my eyes at him at that and almost picked up his muffin to throw it at his face. But I didn’t. I’m not 7 anymore. But it’s true. Wei Ying is the one who gave me his blog when he tried to get me to join too. And his blog is public. I’m still unsure if it makes it okay that he doesn’t know, but... it makes it better. For now. But I definitely will tell him before I confess to him. If I ever stop being a coward and actually confess... That is for another day.)

The Picnic! (I swear, reading Wei Ying’s sidetrack monologues here is influencing me and I’m not interested in doing better for that because nobody is reading this damn thing why do I even care?)

... The picnic... 

It was... so much better than anything I could have imagined. Besides that idiot Jin ZiXun coming to pick on Wei Ying. He dropped it really fast when I stopped him. The guy once decided it would be a good idea to try and punch me on one of those boring family events we had to attend to when we were sixteen. I broke his nose and two of his fingers. Okay, Uncle had to pay for all of his health expenses, and I then had three years worth of punishment at home (I can’t remember how many times I copied Uncle’s rules. I was also on cleaning and cooking duties from now on (Xichen helped when he could, and ironically, it made me enjoy making food more)) but it was all worth it. Besides, that asshole picked on Huaisang that time. He’s lucky it was me, and not Nie Mingjue who decided to stand up and stop him... That might be why Mingjue let me call him Da-ge afterwards. And why he still gives me my favourite sweets whenever we meet each other. Why did I never realize this before now? Is this what they mean when they say writing helps with hindsights and insights?

Before and after the idiot showed up though, everything was. Just so perfect. 

Wei Ying arrived a little bit later, but he texted me to let me know, so I was standing at our rendez-vous point, patiently (and a little nervously) waiting for him with the basket (it wasn’t that heavy Wei Ying). And that’s when I hear my name, and I look up, and I barely had the time to put the basket down before I could catch Wei Ying, rolling full speed towards me. I held him against me then, and it felt so nice to hug him, even if it wasn’t an actual proper hug. When he looked up, that’s when I noticed the eyeliner around his eyes and. Damn. 

Okay. Every looks are a good look on Wei Ying. But that look. Was a particularly good look on him. I would have stared forever, but then he was gone, running after his skateboard. 

Lan Zhan… I don’t know if it’s just how he looks but sometimes when he looks at me… it’s just.. this tender look in his eyes. I can’t look away.

Yes. It’s all for you Wei Ying. I just love you so much. 

... Then, he took the basket from me and decided to put it on his skateboard to roll it to where we then sat, and while we walked there, all I could think of was how close his hand was to mine and how I wanted to hold it and listen to him laughing all the time. But then, we reached the grass and I took the basket again, despite Wei Ying arguing he could carry it. I just wanted for him to enjoy himself. He took the blanket from the basket (speaking of, it’s not Tetris Wei Ying, just a lot of willpower. My desire to leave with only one basket was stronger than the headache I got trying to put it all in the damn thing) and spread it and then I just. Dropped on it. And my back hurt from the sitting too long on the floor while I waited for everything to cook and panicked over sending Wei Ying too much money and thinking he found out it was me. And I was tired. And Wei Ying noticed... And it’s less the fact that he noticed that got my heart beating so loud, but his hand on my face.

(He’s still beautiful though. Take your breath away beautiful. Stop and stare beautiful. How is he not a world famous model? I bet he could pull it off if he wanted to. Be on the cover of every magazine in the world. Make all the girls swoon.)

First, !!! (also no girls, ever. Just you)

(Omg his skin is so DAMN SMOOTH? WHAT PRODUCT DO YOU USE LAN ZHAN??? I MUST KNOW!!)

Second, it’s not my face but your hands, Wei Ying! Please pet my face all day, everyday, for the rest of my life.

It took everything in me to keep myself from jumping him right there.

Third, yes. Yes please. I am willing. Do it. 

His hand was so soft and so... tender on my face, I just... I didn’t think. I just leaned into it. I barely heard what he asked to be honest, the feeling of his skin on mine was the only thing that filled my brain then. I even rubbed my face on his hand! A little. Still! I even closed my eyes, and I would have probably kissed his palm if my brain didn’t catch up what he said earlier. I opened my eyes then and got lost in his, and have I said how good his eyes looked then? Because I’m saying it again. I would have gotten lost in those grey eyes of his, but I had to say something other than “Mn” so I just said “you’re one to talk” quickly followed by “you have to take care of yourself too” when really I wanted to say “how about we take care of each other from now on?” 

What I said made him laugh, and that sound always fills me with so much love and happiness. And we started eating again. And everytime he would get something from the plates, he would sit closer to me. And closer. And closer. And I wanted to reach out and sit him on my thighs so I could have him as close as could be. 

Because I just want to be close to him forever. I want to touch him and hug him and be held.

Yes, just like that! And it was so perfect. And it kept being perfect after Jin ZiXun was gone (I am NOT talking about him more than necessary anymore, I said what I had to say before. He does NOT deserve the attention. Speaking of. I will talk with Xichen about buying that park. Perhaps Huaisang has connections to own it too? I’m sure Mingjue would see no problems if Huaisang takes it away from the Jins). I must have kept quiet for too long, pondering my options to take the park and surroundings from the asshole’s family, when Wei Ying pointed a wild bunny that had made his way close enough to be observed. I relaxed at the sight, and Wei Ying’s comment made me almost retort back that it’s not the bunnies I want to attract, but I kept quiet. I did look at his lips for a moment too long, but he didn’t seem to notice, as he started eating again. It took me more time to get back to eating myself, but we finished what was left quite fast. 

Then, we lay back down to cloud gaze and... I’ve never did that before. Ever. So when Wei Ying started pointed out at the clouds and naming things, I didn’t know what he was doing. And then, I looked at the shapes, and I saw the fish. I didn’t see the dinosaur eating an arm though, it looked more like a... well, a normal blob of cloud. And that’s pretty much all I could see honestly (I didn’t pick up that heart either, but I wish I had). And then, I saw it. So I pointed it out, the bunny cloud. And it felt... It felt good. Really good. To be playing this game that has no goals nor rewards, just for the fun of doing something and imagining things in clouds, knowing they’ll disappear after a few minutes. And I felt so happy, I wanted to thank Wei Ying for that. So I took his hand. And the moment I realized I was doing it, my heart skipped a beat and I was waiting for him to remove it from my hand. But he didn’t. Instead, he intertwined our fingers together. And kept talking as if nothing happened. So I squeezed tighter and put my head closer to his shoulder, trying to see the occasional shape he still saw while listening and answering to whatever things he wished to talk about. Sometimes it was about the café. He asked me about how long I’ve known Mianmian (since we were seventeen), I asked him what painting he was working on (”oh, this and that.” Had I know I was part of the projects, I would... I don’t know actually. I... More thoughts for later). Sometimes, he would brush his thumb against my skin and I would do the same. I don’t think he noticed those but I, too, never wanted to let go.

Then it got late. We agreed to walk a bit around. I wanted to spend more time with Wei Ying, even if I was tired already. Then we walked in front of the skatepark and he said. These words. 

“Fell for you right from the first, didn’t I?”

Wei Ying. Me too. So bad. I can’t even tell what got me then, or why it was you. I just know I saw your eyes, saw your smile, and you invited me for an ice-cream and I was already hooked. It was something in the way you talked, in how open you were, how easily you would show excitement for the smallest things. And I got attracted to all of that. It didn’t even matter to me that you forgot your wallet and I ended up paying (not that it’s a problem anyway). I gave you my phone number hoping it would lead to more than just an ice-cream and parted ways. And now, here we are. 

I took the vanilla ice-cream because I almost never eat those (you wouldn’t believe the amount of... excentric flavours they offer in those families get-together, and they would always be either way too sweet or weirdly bland. And having a simple vanilla one that actually tastes good and having the chance to share it with you, just you, that made it taste even better. And no, I never buy ice-cream for myself. Yes, I know I could.)

We ate, and we walked, and we talked more. I wanted to hold Wei Ying’s hand again, but I didn’t want to make it weird. It was one thing to hold his hand on the blanket, neither of us moving. This would have been something else. 

We may never be more than this.. but.. this is already more than I ever dared to hope for.

I hope Lan Zhan is in my life forever. I never want him to leave.

I want us to be more than this. When I’ll be truly worthy of you. This is more than I ever dared hope for too.

And as long as you let me in, I’ll be in your life forever. I never want to leave.

When I got home, fell asleep, worked, and my brother called me... But that’s for another post I think. I want to keep this one about the picnic. It was important for me too. 

[onegayastronaut]

A Working Relationship (Lena Luthor x Reader)

Requested by anon: Hi,Can you make a smut Lena luthor fic? Like in the beginning the reader is shy and a mess because the luthor is always teasing her until SNAP! Lena bottomed so hard :D hopefully that gives you something to work with :)

Words: 1711

Getting a job at L-Corp was the best thing that happened to you. Ever since you got into National City University, you couldn’t wait to graduate so you could apply as a scientist at L-Corp. The fact that the CEO was an amazingly talented and beautiful person was a definite bonus. Not that this affected your decision to accept the job offer as soon as it came through, of course.

Work seemed to be fine as you started your first week at your dream job. You had been given your first assignment, and you were excited to prove yourself. As you settled yourself over the lab table, your supervisor appeared at your desk. He had a frown on his face, and he tapped the table to get your attention.

“Ms. Luthor would like to see you upstairs in her office.”

“Ms. Luthor, as in Lena Luthor? Why would she want to see me?”

“Her last name is on the building, (Y/N). And it’s not my job to ask what the boss-lady what she wants. Just go up and ask her yourself.”

As you got on the elevator and pressed the button to the highest level, you couldn’t stop your hands and legs from shaking. What could the infamous Lena Luthor want with you? You were new to the job, and you were sure that you had done nothing wrong. The elevator stopped, and you hesitated from stepping out from the tiny compartment. It was only when the elevator doors started closing again that you managed to pull yourself together and step off into the hallway leading to Lena’s office. The secretary sitting at the end of the hallway barely gave you a glance.

“(Y/N), I assume?”

“Yes, I’ve been told Ms. Luthor wanted to see me.”

“She’s ready for you.” The secretary waved her hand dismissively at you and returned her attention to the game on her phone.

When you entered the office, you saw that Lena was busy at work on her computer. Upon seeing you, she stood up with a smile on her face. To her surprise, she was much shorter than how the pictures made her seem. However, that didn’t make her any less intimidating.

“Hi (Y/N). My name is Lena Luthor.”

“I, uh, I know who you are.” Realizing how rude that must have made you sound, you amended that statement with, “Your work in enhancing human biology with synthetically-made Harun-el has been fascinating to me, and also a major reason why I’m excited to be working with L-Corp on any further projects that you might want to work on.” After that rant, you decided that silence was most likely the smartest option before you embarrassed yourself any further.

“It seems like you’ve kept up with my research.” Lena looked impressed as she raised an eyebrow at you. “That’s actually why I called you here. I’ve seen the work you’ve done at NCU and I think you’d be a great addition to working directly by my side. What do you think about that?”

“What do I think? Yes, absolutely, I would love to work with you!”

Lena raised a hand to stop you from babbling further. “I love your enthusiasm. Go home early today after cleaning out your desk because you’ll be starting early next Monday. That’s all for now.”

You could barely contain your excitement as you hurriedly made your way out of your boss’ office. Just as you exited Lena’s office, her secretary handed you a key card. “You’ll use this from now on to get in and out of the building. It will give you unlimited access to different labs. And of course, she your direct supervisor from here on out is Ms. Luthor.” It took everything in you to not squeal from excitement as you took the new card.

-----

Days turned into weeks and then months as you continued working with Lena. She was definitely the best boss that you could ask for, and she always respected what you had to say with regards to her Kryptonite experiments. As time went on, you realized that there was a slight change to the dynamic that you two had. You always assumed that you had nothing more than a professional relationship, but some of the things that Lena would say made you confused.

On her end, Lena was growing increasingly frustrated with you. She had given you every sign, used every flirting tactic in the book, and even went online to see if she had missed anything. According to every lesbian website (and Alex Danvers of course), she should have been successful in making you want her back. She was young, beautiful, successful, and famous. She has it all, so why haven’t you made a move on her yet? Lena couldn’t help but wonder if you already had a girlfriend. Before she could hire a P.I. to track down if you had a girlfriend, Alex told her that maybe a more subtle approach might be best.

Which is where Lena found herself on this day, wearing another revealing blouse and a skin-tight skirt. She had fallen into the habit of bending over to talk to you, and she loved how you couldn’t keep your eyes off of her when she walked away. Lena could not repress a smirk as she purposefully swayed her hips before closing the door behind her. Being able to make you blush with these little actions was rewarding in and of itself, but Lena would be lying if she said she didn’t want more.

------

You were quietly working on your latest lab report when Lena quietly knocked on your door. “Hi, Ms. Luthor! How’s everything going?”

Instead of answering, Lena leaned over your desk and smirked at you. The time for hints and playful hints were over. It was time to make a direct move on you. “How about some dinner later tonight (Y/N)? I think we could both use a break from work, don’t you?”

Lena’s flirtatious tone was not completely lost on you as you blushed furiously. If you were being honest, you have wanted to be with Lena as more than friends for the past few months. What was there not to like? Lena was smart, successful, beautiful, and everything that you wanted to be. The only problem was, there was no way that Lena would want to date a lowly researcher like you, so you pushed off all of your wishful thoughts when it came to your boss.

-----

Dinner would apparently be held in Lena’s office. You were more than willing to spend the evening with your boss, and you took a moment to make sure that your shirt was in its proper place. Even though tonight wasn’t supposed to be formal, you didn’t want to come across as a slob.

Right as you got off the elevator, you noticed that Lena’s office was apparently redecorated. You noticed the almost all the lights were off except for Lena’s office, and you quickly made your way over. The moment you entered her office, you couldn’t stop staring at her. She was wearing a dark green dress with a deep neckline. You couldn’t stop staring, and you quickly closed your mouth so that Lena wouldn’t notice where your eyes had been not a moment ago. To your horror, from the smirk on her face, it seemed like she had noticed what you had been thinking.

“Do you see something that you like, (Y/N)?”

“Yes, I -- see food? The food looks amazing...you look amazing too.” Your face burned as you tried to salvage what little dignity you had left.

“Well, it seems like you’re hungry.” Lena reached over the desk and ran her fingers up and down your arm.

You could feel yourself getting turned on, and you decided you wanted to take a chance by interlacing your fingers with hers. The time for waiting was over, and besides, you had been wanting to do this for a while. To your surprise, Lena didn’t take her hand away. Instead, she stepped a little closer to you, and before you knew it, Lena was standing so close to you that you could count her eyelashes.

“Are you sure about this, Lena?”

“Only if you are.”

You couldn’t take your eyes off of her lips as she talked, and Lena bit her lip as she waited for a response. Instead of talking, you slowly leaned in and kissed her. It was the best decision that you have made in the longest time (apart from accepting the job from L-Corp, of course) and you didn’t want to stop. From the moans that were coming out of Lena’s mouth, she didn’t want you to stop either.

You touched Lena’s face in order to deepen the kiss. Before Lena could make a move, you grabbed her hips and lifted her so that she was sitting on the desk. Lena raised an eyebrow at your bold move, but you have passed the point of caring. She had been teasing you for so long that she shouldn’t be surprised by your willingness to be a little bit rough with her. You moved to unbutton your shirt, but Lena stopped your hands from moving any further. Instead, she unbuttoned your shirt for you, biting her lip and looking you flirtatiously in the eye as she did so. Her slow and deliberate actions made you hornier for her. You pulled her by her hips towards you, sliding your hand under her skirt as you did so.

When you slide your hand further up her leg, you noticed that her panties were already soaked through. It was your turn to smirk at her, now that you realize how much she wanted you. “How much do you want me, Ms. Luthor?”

“So much.” Lena moaned as she tried to grab your hand and put it where she needed it most.

This caused you to tsk and pull your hand away. Maybe it was time to do some teasing of your own. “Not so fast, Ms. Luthor. What about dinner?”

“We can eat all that later.”

“Good, because I had something else in mind.” You couldn’t wait to show your boss what was on your mind.

[janenejahncke-blog]

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[animeangelriku]

Puzzleshipping: Where the Lights Aren’t So Heavy

(Written for the Yu-Gi-Oh! Mini Exchange!)

[Also read on AO3!]

*-*-*-*

It wasn’t that Yugi didn’t like his job. He loved his job, almost as much as he loved his favorite burger joint, of which he had been a regular client almost since he could remember. The thing was, just because he loved something didn’t mean he didn’t grow tired of it every once in a while, or that he wasn’t grateful for it. He had no problem going out to eat burgers with his friends, but there came a point where the cycle went from “enjoyable” to “kind of disgusting, actually.” Damn it, sometimes Yugi just wanted pizza instead! Maybe even a damn salad!

(Okay, the salad thing was mostly his body demanding he eat some vegetables instead of continuing to feed on only fast food—please, for the love of the gods!—but the point still remained.)

His feelings towards his job were more or less the same. It wasn’t that he didn’t like it, because he did. It was just that, after a few years of being a professional duelist and going to tournaments and not really having as much of a social life as he would’ve liked to try to have, making a living off dueling started to slightly lose its appeal. Yugi wouldn’t ever give it up, he would never even dream of it; he knew how lucky he was to have gotten this far and how many people wished they’d been as lucky.

But then he would see the faces he had been surrounded by for half a decade and realize that the only reason he knew the names attached to them was because they were well-known in the dueling industry, not because they had introduced themselves to him or because he had asked them. With barely a moment to himself, it felt like he didn’t have the time to go and strike up a conversation with whoever had been his opponent just a moment ago before he was dragged off somewhere else.

Yugi wanted to strike up a conversation with them. That was the thing. He wanted to get to know the people he saw in every tournament outside of the arena in which they dueled. He wanted to be their friend, or at the very least their acquaintance. Where was the fun in being the King of Games if he couldn’t celebrate his victories and mourn his losses with the people he had fought against?

Then again, he wasn’t always the King of Games—that was a title he often exchanged with Sennen Atem, someone else whom Yugi knew almost nothing about and wanted to get to know better. It had become such a reoccurring exchange, in fact, that most of the time, they were both referred to as King of Games. Although Yugi had honestly found that slightly odd at first, he didn’t mind sharing the title with as worthy an opponent as Atem.

Maybe Yugi would get his chance to approach Atem and strike up a conversation at the Domino Convention Center, where an important press conference would be held, later today. He wasn’t sure what the press conference was about or what was going to be announced (he assumed it was either a tournament or the release of a new deck archetype), but as one of the Kings, his presence was politely required.

And by ‘politely required,’ Yugi thought as he fiddled with the leather cuffs around his wrists, it means that Ryou will have my head if I don’t show up.

That was fine. If it could get Yugi a 10-minute conversation with Atem, he would take it. Baby steps and all that.

*

The gods were apparently smiling down on Yugi today.

He had seen Sennen Atem at the press conference he had attended (in which a new tournament had been announced), but he hadn’t been able to go up to him and introduce himself during it. Then, after the press conference, Atem had left so suddenly that Yugi had lost sight of him. The convention center wasn’t as full as Yugi had expected it to be, but it was still incredibly crowded, and so he’d had no hopes of encountering Atem before the day was over, much less of having the chance to actually talk to him.

“Don’t look so down, Yugi,” Ryou had tried to cheer him up. “I’m sure you’ll get your chance to talk to him at another event!”

What if this keeps happening? Yugi had thought, crestfallen. What if this was what his life was meant to be? What if the only way he would ever know his fellow duelists was thanks to the media? What if he never had the chance to interact with them beyond tournament matches?

“Yeah,” he said out loud. “Yeah, I guess I will.”

Still, Yugi hadn’t given up on trying to find Atem. The guy had to be around here somewhere, right? He wouldn’t have just come to the press conference and then left immediately, right?

Yugi’s optimism and determination had, in the end, been rewarded. He had continued exploring the convention center until he came across a nearly empty room, and suddenly there was Atem, leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed, and this was the perfect opportunity Yugi had been waiting for!

He cleared his throat to catch Atem’s attention. “Um, excuse me? Sennen Atem?”

Atem opened his eyes and turned to look at him. He seemed to be about to say something, but then his eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise.

“Mutou Yugi,” he said as his mouth was overtaken by a smile. There was such kindness in his voice that it made Yugi grin.

Yugi held his hand out for a handshake. “It’s nice to finally meet you outside a tournament for a change.”

Atem chuckled, shaking Yugi’s hand. “Likewise. I assume you came to one of the press conferences?”

“Yeah, the one for Industrial Illusions’ new tournament in a month,” Yugi answered. He was kind of relieved that Atem hadn’t noticed him there. He had feared that Atem had seen him and purposefully avoided him, but now he could breathe calmly, knowing that hadn’t been the case.

“Wait, really?” Atem seemed to come to the realization that they had been in the same room for forty-five minutes and he hadn’t realized, because his cheeks suddenly flushed bright red and he stammered out his next words. “Oh, gods, I’m so sorry, I was there and I didn’t— if I had known, I— I-I hope you don’t think that I didn’t want to—”

“No, no, don’t worry!” Yugi hurriedly said. “I think I was a few rows behind, anyway.”

“Still,” Atem mumbled. The flush on his face lessened, but he still scratched the back of his neck. “I’m sorry.” The smile he gave Yugi this time was shy, so different than the smug, confident smirks that would cross his face during one of their matches, that Yugi couldn’t help chuckling slightly to himself.

“Seriously, there’s no need to apologize,” he assured Atem. “I would expect the King of Games’ attention to be on the press conference, not on the people attending it.”

“One of the Kings,” Atem replied. “Shared title and all that, remember? Besides, I haven’t forgotten how you beat me last tournament.”

Yugi hadn’t, either. He had used Gold Sarcophagus to lock away one of his cards, and if Atem happened to use the same card, its effects would be negated. When Atem had tried to use Monster Reborn to bring back one of his most powerful monsters, Gold Sarcophagus had negated it, leaving him open to Yugi’s final attack.

Not that Yugi was one to boost his own ego, but that had been quite a victory—the one he felt the proudest of, actually. He had taken a huge risk by locking away a card as useful as Monster Reborn, and it had been worth it in the end. Then again, now he also felt kind of embarrassed at the praise, especially coming from the guy he had defeated, despite the fact that Atem had congratulated him at the end of their duel. Thankfully, Atem saved him from having to respond.

“I’m looking forward to the next time we face each other,” he said. Yugi raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

“Already thinking about how to beat my strategy?” he teased.

“Maybe,” Atem answered, his smile turning into one of the smug smirks Yugi was used to. “Regardless of the result, though, I always enjoy facing off against you.”

Yugi had to press his lips together in order to hold back the grin threatening to overtake his mouth. Even though he obviously tried to win every single one of his duels, when he dueled Atem, he didn’t care about the outcome. The only thing that mattered to Yugi was how much fun he had, and he was beyond overjoyed that Atem apparently felt the same way he did.

“I could say the same thing,” he told Atem.  

It was only until neither of them said anything that Yugi looked down between them and realized they were still holding hands. Almost as if Atem had come to the same conclusion just as suddenly, they both pulled their respective hand back, the two of them letting out a small laugh.

“So,” Yugi began after a moment. He leaned back against the wall next to Atem, their arms separated by the shortest of distances. “Any other press conferences you’re interested in attending?”

“Not… really?” Atem shrugged his shoulders and glanced around the room. “Social events and big crowds aren’t exactly my thing.”

“As opposed to Duel Monsters tournaments?” Yugi asked.

Another soft blush covered Atem’s cheeks. “Tournaments are different, I guess. It’s always just you and your opponent, and you don’t really have to worry about saying the wrong thing, you just have to focus on doing, you know?”

Yugi nodded his head. He never would’ve thought someone like Atem would be nervous in front of an audience, though he could understand the feeling.

“You should’ve seen me at my high school graduation,” he chuckled. Atem turned to him, his head cocked in a way that asked for more information. “I had to give a speech,” Yugi said, “but I was so scared of messing it up that I had to lock myself in an empty classroom for ten minutes to calm down.”

“What?” Atem demanded, as if he couldn’t believe such a thing had happened to Yugi. “No way!”

“I’m serious! I don’t mind big crowds, but don’t ask me to give a speech, please. That’s my one true weakness.”

“A bold fact to tell your opponent,” Atem said, his lips twisting into another smirk. Yugi narrowed his eyes at him.

“I was under the suspicion you were honorable enough to keep a secret outside the arena,” he said. “Should I not have been?”

Atem’s smirk became a genuine smile once more. He pressed his lips into a thin line and ran his thumb and index finger across them like he had just zipped his mouth shut. Then he pretended to throw an invisible key away. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

Yes, Yugi had thought as much. Still, he was glad to have confirmed it.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Atem began to say, “before my first tournament duel, I was so nervous and terrified that I actually threw up.”

“What?” Yugi almost shrieked, completely shocked by the confession. Atem had always seemed so confident, so sure of himself, so prepared for whatever challenge he might face. “I don’t believe you!”

“It’s true!”

“You?”

“I know, I know,” Atem said, laughing. “Once I started getting used to dueling, I got better, but I still feel sick before a match every now and then.” He leaned even more against the wall, as if revealing such a personal anecdote had taken a great amount of energy. Yugi felt… honored that it had been him whom Atem had confessed such a thing to.

He bumped their shoulders together. Once he had Atem’s attention, he mimicked his gesture from earlier, pretending to zip his mouth shut and throwing the key away.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Yugi echoed.

The genuinely thankful smile Atem gave him made him feel like his chest was being squeezed, and he had to look away in order to breathe normally again. Who would’ve thought he would go from knowing close to nothing about Atem to knowing one of his deepest secrets, to being trusted with one of his deepest secrets?

I should’ve done this years ago, Yugi thought. He shook his head. At least he had finally been given the chance to do it, no matter how long it had taken.

The room they were in suddenly started to fill with more people. Yugi assumed another press conference had probably finished, and these were the people who had attended it. Maybe a tournament was about to start, and these were the participants.

Next to him, Atem shifted his weight from one leg to the other one. Yugi recalled what Atem had just told him, that social events and big crowds weren’t his thing, and he couldn’t help admiring him for his bravery. It couldn’t be easy for him to be in a place that made him so uncomfortable, and yet here he was. He was definitely worthy of the title of King of Games.

“I could really use some fresh air,” Yugi said. “Do you want to get out of here?”

Atem turned his head to look at him. Yugi was giving him the chance to walk out of a situation he might want to escape, but he was also giving him the chance to stay if he so wished. He really wanted to continue talking to Atem, but he wanted to ensure that Atem was in a space in which he felt comfortable instead of trapped or anxious.

Atem crossed his arms over his chest and raised a curious eyebrow. A smile was tugging at his lips. “What did you have in mind?”

Feeling slightly bolder, Yugi held out his hand, his palm facing upwards, and said, “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

Atem glanced down at his hand and then at Yugi, back at his hand and back at Yugi again. For a moment, he didn’t say or do anything, and Yugi felt little sweat beads start to form on his temples. Had he gone too far? Had he crossed a line he hadn’t even known was there? Had he ruined his chances of becoming Atem’s friend before they could even be called that?

I really want to get to know you better, Yugi thought, hoping he could somehow transmit the message to Atem through his eyes.  

To his luck, it appeared that he managed to do so. Atem’s smile widened into a grin.

“I guess I will,” he said. He grabbed Yugi’s hand and squeezed it as if he never wanted to let go.

Yugi grinned back. The feeling was mutual.

[bluerosesburnblue]

So a while ago I made bios for my Hogwarts Mystery avatar, Seren, and her older brother. I figured it was only fair to do one for my KHUx keykid, too, especially since I made her first (and actually made her a character instead of just a self-insert weeks before I made Seren)

Now, in honor of Kingdom Hearts III coming out in 23 days, here’s some info about my starlight girl

Name: Blue. It’s a nickname (Yes, she has a real name that is not my name, I just don’t want to say it quite yet. I guess I can give you a hint, though. Starts with an “S”)

Union: Vulpes

Title: Unchained Starlight (“Light’s Apprentice” before the Keyblade War)

Top Keyblades: Starlight*, Divine Rose, Missing Ache

*Like most KHUx avatars, Starlight is her Keyblade’s default form

She always introduces herself as Blue, and then appends “It’s a nickname” to the end in a single breath. It’s almost a running joke among people she knows now. The Moogle Shop owner will call her Miss Itsanickname just to rile her up

So, just a general headcanon, but my personal timeline is that it takes about three years from the start of the Foretellers recruiting for the Keyblade War to happen

They recruit people anywhere from ages, like, 11-19. The Keyblade War was fought primarily by people from ages 17+ (the “older kids” and people who joined as kids but were adults when the war happened) and the Dandelions had a disproportionately large number of “younger kids” from ages 11-14, but people of all ages participated in either the War or the Dandelions

So Blue joined up at age 15 almost as soon as they started recruiting, right in the middle of the age group, and was about 18 by the time the war happened

I also headcanon that most of the kids in Daybreak Town were, like, runaways or abandoned or just otherwise had nowhere else to go (which is why the town is solely populated by unsupervised kids) who found themselves drawn to the light of Daybreak Town

Blue was of the “runaway” variety, and didn’t have any real friends back home. Small town, the “friends” she did have only really hung out because there were few kids in town

Her first real friend in town was @anheiressofasoldier‘s keykid, who went by “Heiress” at the time. Based on how anheiressofasoldier and I met, I imagine that Heiress dropped a journal with her writings in it somewhere in town, and Blue found it and dropped it off at the Moogle shop’s lost-and-found. Heiress hunted her down to thank her and one thing led to another and then Blue became a part of the party Heiress was in and that was that

Personally headcanon her as the youngest person in the party at the time, which makes her eventually being one of the oldest Dandelions and oldest “member” of the Sewer Squad more significant

Player is canonically kind of quiet. Blue doesn’t really go out of her way to chat with people, she mostly keeps to herself. But if you’re her friend, well, get ready for just a constant stream of philosophic ramblings, dorky Keyblade facts, and rants about the Moogle shop

Snarkmaster extraordinaire. Her Chirithy had to get his tendencies from somewhere, after all

Dramatic statements delivered in a deadpan tone. Most of her sense of humor is just downplaying the weirder things that happen to her

Flip-flops wildly between being a pretty chill, helpful, and quiet person and being THE MOST DRAMATIC PERSON YOU HAVE EVER MET IN YOUR LIFE depending on how emotional she is in the moment

Wise well beyond her years. Always has been, but it becomes more pronounced the older she gets and the more open with advice she gets

She probably keeps a few plants in her room. Strelitzia would’ve liked them

Her big thing is Keyblade forging. Crafting Keyblades? Designing the weapons? Running around town for days trying to get the right materials for just one more refinement to her perfect recipe for each keychain? Yuuuuup

Headcanon that she’s the one who created the design for the Missing Ache Keyblade in a fit of sadness after Ephemer fails to show up for their meeting (because it’s unlocked in Proud Mode three missions after he disappears). She started designing it while waiting for him at the fountain about an hour after their meeting time

“Chirithy please, I just need one more Electrum Ore.” “You haven’t slept in two days please stop.” “But I’ve almost got it, buddy!”

She might be the last person left in the Dandelions who knows anything about creating and refining Keyblades and keychains

She frequently takes her forging materials to the fountain or up on the rooftops to work, just because the scenery helps her relax. The Keyblade is a weapon of the heart, so if your heart’s at peace, you’ll get the best results

Related, she likes heights. If you can’t find her, she’s probably on a roof somewhere, either reading, Keyblade crafting, or watching the sky

Would probably die for her Chirithy and then realize later that if she dies so does he and she instantly regret everything. He is, no joke, the best friend she’s ever had and she loves him more than anything

She’d really love to collect souvenirs from every world that she visits, and was really disappointed when the ones that she picked up disappeared when she got back to Daybreak Town. It only made sense later, when she learned that the worlds she was visiting were illusions

I could see her deciding to try foods at each location she visits and deciding to collect recipes on her travels

She’s probably a decent cook. She does live by herself, after all

The fact that she’s not actually visiting other places is the most disappointing thing to her, because she’d love to travel and it turns out she hasn’t been

The Moogle who runs the Moogle Shop is her eternal rival. He makes some really good food and drinks, but his medal banners are NONSEEEEENSE and she refuses to spend money on them. They are constantly heckling each other about it

Clothing-wise, she hates skirts and she hates having her fingers covered. She sighs dramatically every time her reward clothes have a skirt, and cuts the fingers off of any pair of gloves she owns. She used to hate midriff-bearing shirts and sighed when she got them, but tried one out when she got older and they just kind of stuck as part of her style after that point

Started wearing hats to hide her face and her little spiked piece of hair that she was super self conscious about (“It’s the one piece that won’t stay down!”). Stopped wearing them after Ephemer saw her take her hat off and told her the little spike was cute

Frequently throws her Keyblade during fights, and one of her favorite combat techniques is throwing it and letting it fly around and hit things while she goes in for some magically enhanced punching and kicking. Her Keyblade is out of her hand as much as it is in her hand during the course of a fight

Most of my commands tend to be either ice or thunder-based, so I’d say she specializes in Blizzard and Thunder based techniques, with some light-based magic attacks and dark-based physical attacks on the side

She’s good at changing up her battle style on the fly (based on Player’s ability to easily swap Keyblades and employ magic, power, and speed attacks on any setup in any order)

That being said, she does favor magic, then speed, then power in that order

Very hard to keep down. If she were in a main series KH game, she’d get Once More and Second Chance pretty early on and maybe even Auto-Life by level up

The encounter with Nightmare Chirithy deeply affected her, because it really was the personification of all of her sadness, anger, self-loathing, etc... and yet it made good points that made sense to her and were honestly things she’d been thinking of for a long time. She took its talk of relying too much on the Foretellers’ powers to heart and started training herself to use her own power not long afterwards

She respected Ava a lot. Even when she was starting to get frustrated with all of the Foretellers for just doing what their Master told them to without question, she still had faith in Ava, and spent at least part of the War trying to convince her to just help her stop the fighting, and it broke her heart when Ava refused to help, but told her she was proud of the Keyblade Wielder she’d become

Blue used to actively reject her darkness at the start, but as she started questioning the Foretellers she started being more conflicted about it, shoving it down until Nightmare Chirithy became a problem. She spends a lot of time post-War in a weird depressive state where she can’t remember the war but still feels the emotional effects of it and can’t figure out why, and will eventually become this post once she comes to terms with her emotions post-War. She enters into an almost Riku-like state of being chill with her own darkness, though in her case it’s more of a “just let the emotions happen and use whichever element matches” thing

I’ve named her Spirit after Missile, best doggo and top Pomeranian from Ghost Trick, and I’ve been trying to make the spirit look like him ever since. In-universe, the Spirit dog’s name is Missile thanks to the Blast trick

Ephemer took a liking to her pretty fast because she was the one person who wasn’t even a little lost during his infodumps. And she contributed to his theorizing. She was practically perfect friend material

Mentioned that I ship Ephelayer recently, but I honestly can’t see Blue developing romantic feelings for him unless she sees him again and gets to know him better. She knew him for a day, and while she liked him a lot, that’s not grounds for a romantic relationship. I think of it more as a “they could be good together in the future” sort of thing. As long as Ephemer communicates with her

Ephemer was really special to her, because he was probably the first friend that she actively made on her own. Heiress was the one who hunted her down, but Ephemer was the one that she went and saved on her own and befriended on her own. Which is why it hurt so much when he didn’t show up

Headcanon that meeting Ephemer happens about two years after recruitment starts, so she was 16/17-ish when that happened, and he was about the same

Since time moves weird in the datascape, she may actually be physically older than him at this point since he would have entered it first, about a year or two before the war

Skuld is also one of the best friends she’s ever had, but she can’t remember most of their time together post-War, so she’s not entirely sure why she misses that black-haired girl she barely knew

She starts off as pretty awkward and shy, but by the time the war comes about she’s the Ultimate Big Sis, helping out all of the younger kids and being really nice to the kids who come up to her asking for help

She’d probably have adopted Strelitzia and Ven as younger siblings in a heartbeat

Strelitzia’s crush wasn’t romantic, it was definitely a “cool older kid” crush. Strong “I wish that person was my sibling” vibes. Especially since Blue and Lauriam are probably close in age

I... am not sure that she even knew the Sewer Squad before entering the datascape, so that’s all with 18-year-old, tired and jaded post-War Blue

Her memories being rewritten have actually messed her up way worse than Ephemer, Skuld, and Chirithy were expecting. She can’t remember how old she was at any given point during her time in Daybreak Town anymore, who her old party was (since... I think Player’s whole party canonically dies in the war? So they’ve gotta get erased before Player starts questioning what happened to them), what her life was like before Daybreak Town, or even that Blue isn’t her real name (the last one being what tips Chirithy off that they may have messed up). Her sense of time no longer exists, either

She also sleeps a lot more after the war, which worries Chirithy a lot

Even though they’ve overwritten her memories of the war, the scars still exist in her heart. So it’s honestly worse that she can’t clearly remember, since now she just feels extreme guilt and grief with no discernible source and hides it behind a cheerful facade most of the time since she, like... can’t even justify her own sadness to herself. And she can’t fix the problem by dealing with the trauma because she’s not even sure the trauma existed

She’s not technically a Dandelion, but believes that she is because it’s how her memories have made sense of the whole thing

I called the Sewer Squad her surrogate younger siblings in my post about the Halloween Event, and that’s true. She’s older than all of them, and not even technically a member of their party. She’s an honorary member, and they call her the team Big Sis whenever she joins them

How she takes getting her memories back is going to entirely depend on the situation she remembers them in

[pinkishlips-blog1]

enemies to lovers (jungwoo)

another jungwoo request uwu

tbh i can’t imagine jungwoo hating someone or vice versa

okay so basically both of you are classmates

but you two never got the chance to interact with each other

because first, you are a new student and second, rumors are all over the place that he once said he is annoyed of your existence because you are the scholar from your previous college who has the highest gpa 

and jungwoo is an overall star student, meaning he gets straight A’s and is active in all of the school activities

he ‘probably’ got threatened because he has a competition now

and the fact that you two are classmates, the tension is thick

he calls you nerd sometimes and even scoffs whenever you get the answer right

as for you, you honestly don’t look at his direction or acknowledge his existence because he is just another classmate

and that annoys him so much

because he thinks that you must be affected? but then you are so calm whenever he makes fun of you

“dude, i think you should stop. silent people are actually dragons like when they are mad? they can literally blow fire” says yukhei, his younger friend

his group of friends try to talk to you and you honestly don’t mind because they’re actually nice and outgoing but then what happened to jungwoo

like how can an arrogant boy be friends with chill people

but then you didn’t care since it’s their life anyway

your classmates are always entertained whenever you two lowkey fight

like during class discussion, both of you will debate how this is wrong, how this is right, how this how that and it stresses out your professors

like there was this one time that the professors made sure that you two wouldn’t almost see each other

because since he loves teasing you, the professors saw that you are almost this close to punching him on the face

despite that, one of your professors decided that you two should team up for the school’s foundation week

even though you were a bit hesitant on approaching him first, you are like “fuck this, i’ll try to interact with him for the sake of my grade.”

so you walked towards on of the chairs near him and started coughing in order to get his attention

and jungwoo almost jumped out of his chair once he saw you sitting near him and his eyes were O.O

“dude, have you seen a ghost or something?” you ask, raising your eyebrow as you take out your notebook and pen

his cheeks are slightly pink because of your comment

“o-oh hello, i w-was just shocked.” says him who is a stuttering mess

take note of today, this is the first time jungwoo has ever stuttered because of a girl

or more like, because of you

his group of friends are high-fiving as they witness this scene

and the professor is sighing happily because you two aren’t close to ripping each other’s faces

as days pass by, you two are starting to hangout. well mainly because of this huge project!

your brainstorming continues, exchanging ideas back and forth, ending up scribbling or reediting your final plan 

at that time, jungwoo realized that you aren’t actually a person who only cares about education and doesn’t have a social life

you are a pretty chill person and you just go with the flow of life

and he thinks that you’re actually cool

and he was flattered because you laugh at his jokes even though they’re corny or whenever he trips on the floor 

at that time, he notices how you cover your mouth when laughing, how your unconsciously fix your hair or how you secretly eat in class

even his friends notice it, how his face lights up whenever he sees you when they expect him to make fun of you

“bro, i think you like them already” - doyoung, one of his bestfriends, told him when they are eating their lunch at the cafeteria when he witnessed jungwoo all heart eyes for you as you are interacting with your friends

“what? me? catching feelings for the straight A’s student? i don’t think so.”

“whatever you say, mister all heart eyes for straight A’s student.”

there he realized that MAYBE, just maybe, he is starting to treat you less harsh than before

“can you stop staring at me?” you tell him as you try to focus on the draft of the project

“you look pretty today! your outfit suits you!” he says and smiled really big at you

“oh thank you!” you say, blushing and you complimented how his new haircolor suit him

as for you, you notice that jungwoo is starting to treat you differently (in a good way)

and you can’t help but feel like your heart is going to fall off your chest

but then, you try to ignore your feelings because what if him being kind to you is just fake? what if he’s just playing with your feelings?

you start to overthink about it but you have decided to just shrug it off and just get over this project

a few weeks passed and today is the big day

so the professor congratulated you both for the success of the event, it’s pretty much obvious because a lot of people are enjoying the foundation week

there are a bunch of booths to choose from like marriage booth, prison booth, arcade booth etc

and before you two realized, doyoung cuffed both of your hands and dragged you to the marriage booth

i can’t believe i am writing this oh my god my school used to have these booths 

mark put the veil on your head and jisung gave you the bouquet and you are like “what the heck are you guys doing?”

as for jungwoo, he is just there standing at the side and admiring you

expect your friends to be taking pictures of this nonstop

so doyoung told you to exchange vows and you are staying calm because you know this is just fake #dontassume

and jungwoo is back to his stuttering self and deep inside just want to curl up into a ball and cry

because you really look pretty wearing that veil and he wishes that maybe what’s happening is real

not the real wedding but actually confessing to you

“okay now, this is the most awaited part. you may now kiss the bride!” johnny screams happily, motioning jungwoo to kiss you 

jungwoo looked at your eyes and you looked at your right side, hinting him to kiss you on your cheek

which he did, and half of the people who witnessed are screaming “why just the cheek?!”

but jungwoo didn’t mind, at least he got to kiss you on your cheek

you actually want to throw the ring away because you know the wedding is fake

the moment you are supposed to remove the ring, jungwoo called out your name

“hey, i was looking everywhere for you” he said, panting and trying to catch his breath

“oh i decided to take a look around the place and it’s good that the people are enjoying ha ha” you say awkwardly and just want to disappear

because 1) you can’t handle your emotions anymore 2) you don’t hate jungwoo now and like him!!!

“sorry about my friends, i guess they really love to tease us”

“it’s no problem!”

“okay wait i need to tell you something.” he said, scratching the back of his head and you raised your eyebrow, motioning him to continue

“okay so at first i basically hate you because i have a competition now in academics and that means my exposure will be lessen but thank God for this project because i get to learn about you and like you know i keep on spending time with you and i just realized that you are actually cute and beautiful and kept on doing things that make my heart flutter and i just can’t handle it anymore so yeah i guess i am rambling right now but okay wait i like you okay canikissyounow?”

you start laughing and he looked down, feeling embarrassed. “jungwoo, calm down. you started rapping out of nowhere but i know you are just confessing to me.”

“are you going to reject me because tell me now so that i won’t look like a fool in front of you.”

you giggle and point at your lips “i guess you can”

so he kisses you on your lips but pulled away immediately and is a giggling mess

i swear he probably feels more !!! than you

jungwoo as your boyfriend is like your bestfriend

he becomes your study buddy 

study dates include mostly at the cafes, since they’re peaceful and both of you love coffee

plus the ambiance make you less stressed compared to your dorms

study dates part 2 include at his dorm, just chilling and watching movies and eating ramen

he once tried to cook but didn’t completely fail, it’s just he was so nervous that’s why he thinks he messed it up

you complimented his cooking and that made him so happy but still apologized

tries to give you kisses most of the time - from your forehead, to your nose, cheeks, lips, neck, hands

loves complimenting you and assures you that you are doing well with your studies

“that’s my baby!” “you are doing great okay? i’m so proud of you”

study dates part 3 include playful review games meaning he asks you questions and if you get it right, the reward is a kiss

which sometimes lead to makeout sessions

but end up studying again since you both know that education is important

he loves taking pictures of you - probably has multiple albums of your pictures on his phone 

especially when you are wearing his hoodies, he makes sure he gets to take some pics of you

your date choices are actually wide - from parks to arcades to fast food chains to fancy restaurants to bookstores to music stores to a whole lot more

always assures you that it’s you and only you that he loves the most

“baby, can you believe that we used to hate each other a lot?” he asks you one time as he plays with your hair while watching a movie

“i know right? and i always ignore you because i know you are so annoying.”

he holds your hand tightly as he say, “but then it made me believe at the saying - the more you hate, the more you love. i hate that i love you so much, baby. it annoys but makes me so happy so much.”