#it’s so funny I let someone treat me like that for like 2 months of my life haha

[reamed]

grrr

[lullxby]

THEODORE NOTT LISTENING TO RAVENCLAW READER WARM UP TO HIM AND LETTING HER RANT ABOUT HER BOOK TO HIM PLEASE IM BEGGING🙏🙏

—🏍️ (if thats taken? idk lmao)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ WHIPPED (t.n.)

summary : in which a boy is willing to do anything to convince a smart girl to go out with him.

w.c. : .8k

a/n : i loved writing this request and no 🏍️ isnt taken!! enjoy! 🤍

should i do a part 2 of the actual date??

wattpad : poeticmystery

warning(s) : none!

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theodore nott couldn’t deny how ultimately whipped he was for you. he was in love with everything about you. the way you’d ramble about your books, the certain face you’d make to him after you see somebody doing something less than smart.

he even respected how log. it had taken for you to let him in. he had quite a reputation with women, and he knew it’d make it more difficult to convince you to be in a real relationship with him.

so, he waited. he was patient, he was kind, and he defended you.

he seemed like the perfect guy on paper, but whenever you got close to letting him in, letting him finally take you out, you’d hear another story about a girl he hooked up with then left right after.

the thought disgusted you, and you didn’t want to just turn out to be another one of those girls with a horror story of hoe you were treated by the slytherin boy. you were smarter than that.

that was another thing he liked about you. how smart you were. he loved how you could explain extensive theories and spells to him in a simple enough way to make it easy to understand. it was like a breath of fresh air.

lately, he had been in an even better mood, something his friends even noticed about him. you were starting to finally let him in. you were letting him walk you to class, letting him take you to his favorite hidden spots in the castle.

most importantly, though, you were starting to talk to him. not just some insignificant conversation about homework, or the weather. real conversations.

you were telling him about books you liked, about something funny one of your friends had told you. you were rambling on and on to him, and he loved hearing it.

he loved seeing the way your eyes lit up when you were speaking about someone you were close with, or a new book.

the expression he held when you rambled to him like this could only be explained as pure love. he had waited months to even get you to open up to him, and it was finally happening.

he always made sure you knew he was listening, whether that was by asking you questions as you went, keeping his eyes trained on you, or even buying you the second book in a series you had mentioned liking.

even despite the way you’d protest your rants, saying you didn’t want to annoy him, or something of the sort, he loved hearing tour voice. he’d listen to anything if it was coming from you.

he noticed everything about you.

none of his friends, or even himself, could think off another time where he was this head over heels for someone. it was like his former self went out the window as soon as you walked in. he couldn’t even imagine himself with a girl that wasn’t you, and he didn’t want to anyways.

you were all he need- all he wanted.

“theodore, are these flowers from you?” you called out when he stepped into your dorm.

you gestured to a beautiful array of red lillies, the scent they put off filling the room with a pleasant, light aroma.

“yeah. saw ‘em and thought of you,” he admitted casually, as though he hadn’t specifically looked for flowers of that kind, knowing you paid attention to the meanings of flowers and whatnot.

aside from that, he just thought they were pretty. naturally, you had popped into his mind.

you flashed him a genuine smile, a sight that looked straight out of his dreams.

“thank you,” you grinned, the sentiment behind the flowers being one of the sweetest things you could think of.

“finally gonna let me take you out?” he asked, a small smirk on his face.

despite his confident demeanor, he was one step away from straight up begging. he had waited months, all he wanted was for you to say yes.

you thought over it. you had heard girls in the hallway talking about how he hadn’t given them the time of day recently… and he had been so sweet lately. he had been trying repeatedly, not being deterred at all by your rejections. plus, what was the harm in just one date? one date didn’t mean anything was set in stone.

it was just… one date.

“yeah, that sounds good,” you replied, noticing the way his smirk turned into a large grin.

he felt like a child with how smiley he got around you, especially now that you had given him a chance to take you on a real date.

theodore nott taglist: lmk if you’d like to be added!

dividers made by h-aewo!

[11cupids-tarot11]

How would your future spouse treat you on your moon cycle? <3

I was having such bad cramps when this question suddenly hit me and I figured we'd all love to know, right? Even though I get very cranky and like to be alone during my time of the month hehe.

1 -> 2

3 -> 4

Pile 1- Wheel of fortune, queen of wands, queen of swords.

So this person will literally try to pamper you, whatever that may look like for you. I'm hearing they'll respect all of your boundaries and will grant all of your wishes, they're very supportive. I'm hearing they don't like seeing you in pain and they understand how uncomfortable this time frame is for you.

I think this person is naturally caring and easily can read human emotions and they're giving therapists vibes tbh like they could work in that field or maybe for some I'm picking up on massage therapists, this person just seems like they know humans enough like maybe they studied it or it could just means they've studied you so well they know what you need (I said 'want' at first but was directed to switch it to 'need'. Someone's fs here likes being in charge lol) . Either way, I think they'd love to be your massage therapist around this time. I'm hearing anything to make you feel good.

THEY WILL LITERALLY TREAT YOU LIKE A QUEEN, pamper you, spoil you.

I'm hearing for some, around your moon cycle you get mood swings maybe? Your entire energy changes enough for this person to catch on and they'll know before/when you're on your period because of this. Maybe you're usually very chill and calm and around this time you're just more cranky than usual like me lol and your person will try very hard to just make sure your okay and not taking their head off? Lol, the way your person talks is very funny, they're very funny and so so sweet!

I think this person will treat you so well simply because they love you, you're their baby and they respect you so much. You're literally their queen. They love you so so much 😍 they want me to leave this rose emoji for you 🌹 (I think they're very giving, it's just in their nature 😭)

Other messages- my sweet girl, lots of chocolate and warm towels, hugs and I'm picking up on those who would rather be left alone for moments at a time they understand, they'll check up on you occasionally and will still be very affectionate (u can't refuse their hugs I'm hearing no escape lol 🤣😭 they're very cute. I think they like compliments? They might blush and smile a lot?) The type to randomly kiss ur forehead or cheek when ur literally just ✨chillin✨ just because.

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 2- Ace of swords, temperance, the fool and the hermit.

So I think this person actually doesn't know much about a women's cycle, I think for a specific few they're the only child or maybe they just didn't grow up around a lot of feminine energy so this just isn't their field but I'm hearing they'd try damn hard to make sure everything's okay!

They'd follow your lead on this, like they prefer to maybe watch you from afar during this time? Like sometimes they don't know if they should bother or if they could help at all so they'll probably just straight up ask if there's anything they can do. This person isn't immature about it, but they do feel a bit awkward during those days? (I'm actually dying at ur person, they hardly know how to describe anything?)

Okay, for example, say you're having very bad stomach cramps and you've been in bed all day complaining, they would probably let you stay in bed as long as you'd like and would peek their head in the doorway to silently check up on you because they don't know if they should disturb you or not.

I think they'd love it if you just told them or ask for anything you need, I think they'd rather you rest and use them as a servant 😜 (ur person wanted me to add that, they felt very serious until now? I'm dying) until you feel better, they'll try different approaches tho, I don't think it'll always be this awkward. I think when you two have been together for awhile they'll pick up. I think then they'd mix up their own home remedies, and their own strategies by now, they're not very specific on what this could be or what it could look like because I think this person doesn't really want you to know?

They really want you to feel cared for and like they're there for you as much as possible so they're constantly thinking of new ideas for you!

This is not an 18+ reading and take it how it resonates but I think a very selective few wouldn't mind having intercourse on their moon cycle? 👀

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 3- Death, Ace of coins, The tower, Page of wands

This pile feels different, I was getting the energy of your person being shy and excited to have their turn for the reading 🤣 maybe this person isn't someone who you see romantically at first, could be a roommate a friend but you do know this person or they will come into your life at some point and you guys will have some kind of friendship from the start. It's giving secret admirer tho.

With the death card I'm thinking y'all could've just made it official, it feels like this is something new to them. Maybe it makes them feel a step closer to you? They think it's very cool you're trusting them enough at a time like this. They really value it.

I think they'll be the type to really go all in, ask you probably 20x a day "What do you need?" I saw that scene from Aladdin, when the genie is explaining how tired he is of being in the lamp and he's like "What do you need?Poof! What do you need? Poof!"

This person is trying to charm you and maybe show you they really care for you by doing this, I'm hearing 365 days a year they'll be like this tho, not only when you're on your moon cycle. I think they want you to be vulnerable with them or can't wait to see more vulnerable sides of you.

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 4- The moon, Kight of coins, Temperance, Kight of swords.

My pile 4's energy is different, I think this person could be older than you? This person overall isn't someone who's very cuddly or could even be very hard to read so moments like these really show that side of them in their own way?

For example, say you ran out of pads but your stomach hurts too bad to go get them yourself, your person wouldn't be thrilled to shop in the women's section but for YOU they will, they'll go get your pads and make sure they're the right size and everything (I'm hearing he'll literally call you and ask what size he should get).

They're very serious when it comes to you, they have dedication and it shows in the oddest ways possible.

So for your time of the month they'd be very chill about, the other piles felt all jittery and nervous like they were scared to mess up but your person is smart, he'll break down those walls for you, if you just want to cuddle in bed they'll hold you as long as you like. I'm hearing they're actually kind of "softer" at the right times (I'm sorry I can't think of a better word right now)

You'll love how this person will treat you and your needs and I'm hearing symptoms as well, they're very comfortable and reliable. He's like your big giant teddy bear! 🧸

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

[roturo]

RED LIGHTS 01.10.23 - ghost face!gojo satoru x reader

“Have you ever felt so strong emotions for someone that the moment you close your eyes and start seeing red lights…?” He asked.“No?… Well, that’s how I feel for your girl. I would kill for her— And if that means killing you as well because you don’t treat her like she deserves… so let it be.”

warnings: knife play, unprotected sex, cheating, dumbification, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, mentions of killing, picture taking, exhibitionism, possessive behavior, breeding, tummy bulge, marking, blowjob, use of nicknames, (dear, baby, pretty girl, sweetheart...), toxic relationships, degradation…

reblogs are appreciated!

It was a lonely night and truthfully you hoped something exciting would spark. Your boyfriend, Geto, was out with some of his friends doing god knows what, so there really wasn’t any use in texting him since he won’t respond.

You've been together for 2 years now, he treated you like a princess at first… and still does… when he wants sex… or money… or when he needs something from you. Your friends have been telling you to leave him for months now, but even after all this time, you can’t bring yourself to break up with him.

You stood up from your spot and made your way into the kitchen to make a snack. Popcorn sounded really good right about now and you chose kettle corn. 

Your head perked up at the sound of the house phone, nobody really ever called that stupid phone unless it was for bills, some annoyed girl coming for Geto, and other dumb shit so hearing it ring was a little odd, especially since it was 9pm. You grabbed the phone and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello, dear.”

“Hello? Who's this?”

“You’ll find out soon—” the caller said like it was some kind of melody talking to you, “What’s your favorite scary movie?” The question caught you off guard— You raised an eyebrow, almost hesitant to answer before shrugging your shoulders. It was probably some dumb child playing a prank on you, it’s October and crazy people go out on the streets and start their ‘wannabe killers from movies’ type of shit— but at the first kill they get captured.

But not for one specific ‘ghostface wannabe’— And deep inside you, it scared the living shit out of you. Because each time it got closer to you and your boyfriend.

“Uhm… I would probably say Scream— It’s kinda funny y’know, because it’s pretty obvious you’re trying to act like fucking ghostface to scare me, but surprise kid! No one falls for this nowadays, so if you please can stop with your dumb fucking—”

The sudden noise of someone knocking at your guard made sudden chills come down your spine— The atmosphere turned cold, and it was like someone was watching you. You looked back at the phone and the call ended, but the knocking continued.

If you were in a movie, everyone would be yelling at you not to open that door but who was going to stop you? This was just some random teenagers right?…

When you opened the door, there stood the stranger holding a shiny large knife in one hand and a camera in the other. Your heart went crazy as you saw him stand tall in dark attire. The mask to the harness on his chest, the tight black long sleeve to the baggy cargo pants and combat boots. 

“Surprise.” Is what the stranger said before snapping a quick picture, the flash making you squint before a rough gloved hand gripped your throat. “This is your sweet treat, baby. You shouldn’t have tricked me like that…”

Your hands went immediately to your neck, trying to get his grip out of you. Your heart rate could turn on lights at this point, you were praying for someone to come and fucking help you right now.

His rough grip suddenly stopped, giving you space to breathe. “Shh..” His other hand caressed your left cheek with the blade of the knife— not hard enough to cut you.

“Has he made you feel his love?” 

… What? 

What the hell is he talking about?

He scoffed, your reaction almost making him lose control, the irony that you don’t even think about your boyfriend makes him even angrier at this point. “I really wanna know, do you even love him?”

His voice was darker this time, if you heard closely you could find a little tiny bit of hope in his tone, but the question and the situation you were in had your mind dizzy, tears filling your eyes. 

“Aw, c’mon now Y/N… You cryin’? You’re better than that.” The voice changer stopped, finally recognizing the person behind the mask— “G-gojo?…”

He remained silent for some second before his grip on your neck softened, and he let out a small chuckle. Gojo Satoru, the man your boyfriend hated the most but still continued being his friend. The one who always got what he wanted, everything but you.

“The one and only baby.”

“W-why? W-what?” You couldn’t form a coherent question before his grip on your neck got rougher this time, knife going closer to your neck too— He was fucking angry right now. “Hehe… Why? Why Y/N?! Why did you choose him?” His voice was unsteady, filled with mixed emotions, something about the situation you were in right now, making you feel flustered— Of all the girls he could get, why you?

Your hands softly and slowly approached his face to get rid of the mask— His blue orbs almost disappearing thanks to his dilated pupils, there was definitely something else going on behind all that “I want you” “Why him?” situation right now.

You and Gojo always had a girlfriend best friend relationship, never dealing with anything else or any kind of misunderstanding after you and Geto got together. But before?… Well, he might have told Geto about his little crush on you, but this time he was serious! Not trying to play with you like with other girls, he was even willing to change for you.

But you never caught the signs of him trying to make a move on you, and he stills remains with the fucking doubt of how his ‘best friend’ stole you from him. He knows Geto is attractive, but he’s not a good person to say the least… at least not better than him.

His eyes scanned yours, trying to find some kind of fear or hate towards him, but he couldn’t find any. His face got closer to yours, lips almost touching, you closed your eyes, anticipating his next move. But nothing could’ve prepared you when his lips crashed into yours. At first you freezed at the sudden motion, but later warmed towards him and his body.

Sudden strong emotions overcome your body, past memories flying through your mind— thinking how different life could be if you gave Gojo a chance back then. “I’ve- been giving my life for you, trying to stop everyone from getting closer to you. Fuck..” He stopped the kiss and you followed his lips asking for more but he stopped you. “Would you hate me if I killed your boyfriend?” His hand dropped the knife so both of his hands can caress your face while looking for you.

The truth is, you think he wouldn’t do it, and he’s just telling it for the act. But in reality he has been a few steps from doing it. He has done it before, so why not?

You slowly denied his question, moving your head side to side. His face grew with a sadistic and almost a scary smile thanks to your answer. And he started kissing you again, but this time it was hungrier, needier.

“On your knees..” You could never deny him, especially with him looking at you like that. You shouldn’t like this but you were not on the normal side on the kink meter anyway. What made it worse is when he collected back the thick blade— it made your body tremble. It even made your pussy wet feeling him drag the cold blade along your cheek. You whimpered pathetically.

“Yeah, you would be into this freaky shit babe. Say hi to the camera and give me a big smile before you suck my dick baby.” You didn’t notice when he grabbed his instant camera back ,t he knife no longer in your face—taking a picture of you on your knees in front of him.

“You know what to do.” 

Gojo watched as you unbuckled his belt, leather boot pushing up against your clothed cunt making you whimper. “Aren’t you the cutest? So eager to have my cock in you mouth, I bet Suguru doesn’t know how you fuck your pussy right.”

His words were filthy and the way he wasn’t scared to say them made your body tingle. “Fuck, look at that..” The view of his fat cock hanging in front of your face made you moan a little, lips coming into contact with the sticky tip until they parted. You wasted no time taking him in your mouth— A sudden flash making you close your eyes. The sound of a picture sliding off the camera fills the wet sound of you sliding your tongue along the base and sucking until the taste of him spreads on your tongue.

“Holy shit, it’s like you were made to suck dick. If this is what your mouth feels, I wonder what your pussy feels like..” You whimpered, tears filling your eyes until they spilled down your cheeks and your mascara coated your skin in messy streaks. Gojo was mean, he fucked your throat until your drool was spilling down his balls and the wet snap of his hips filled the living room area. 

You could faintly hear the ding from your phone but you couldn’t focus too much, your brain was mush and the feeling of his boot against your pussy was making it even worse. Nothing but a dumb girl. 

“I bet- Nngh- Suguru doesn’t know how to treat you right… how to make you feel his love. God, maybe this was my sweet treat instead huh? Don’t worry though, I’ll fuck you.”

Gojo made you hold his cock in your mouth until you were tapping for air. Your throat was growing sore but your cunt was worse, you were aching to feel him inside you. It was a need at this point. Your hand cupped his balls and massaged them. That earned a throaty moan from the man as he suddenly pulled out, stroking his cock until pearly strands of his cum hit your face.

He huffed as he grabbed the camera. There was a smirk on his lips and as he raised the camera, he mumbled. 

“Smile for the camera, baby..”

A drunk dazed smile showed in your face, looking nothing but like a proud girl of her acts. His cock proudly showed how hard he still was even after coming right in your face. “Such a pretty girl. And now all f’me”

His gloved hands caressed your cheek and gathered the cum left there, “Say ahh” you did as he said, mimicking the sound and he inserted his finger inside of your mouth— making you taste him.

“Stand up sweetheart.” Following his instructions, you stood up from your place. He started removing the gloves from his hands, and throwed somewhere next to his belt. His bare hands now roaming and exploring your body— undressing you with every touch.

In a blink of an eye you found yourself laying down on your bed while Gojo towers over you. Exposed chest, it was automatically the way your hands moved to explore his body this time. Another sudden flash makes you come back to reality out of your trance, the sound of the picture coming out making you look back at Gojo, who had an adorning smile on his face— full of love that it would even have been seen as creepy if other people saw it.

But it was just the both of you.

Ringing came from your phone, but it was long forgotten in the living room.

He gave a few hard pumps, craving the way the walls of your cunt spasmed and clenched around him in such a tight grip that he thought you’d stop the blood flow of his dick— You were already fucked up, he has taken two orgasms out of you, playing for the third one.

He pulled back until the angry tip of his bulbous head rested against your sore lips and pushed in swiftly, rocking you forward when he kissed your cervix, bumping it in a drawn-out pump— feeling your walls spasm sporadically, he rolled his hips and let out a chuckle when your head jerked back and moaned wantonly.

“Do you want Suguru to know how much of a whore his little girlfriend is?” Gojo cocked his head, a vicious smirk playing on his lips. The noise and flash of the camera was now part of the sex, you didn’t even notice it anymore.

“Are you in there, princess? Or are you already cockdrunk?” he rasped, tightening his hold on your hair. You shook your head, whining with pleading eyes staring up at him, hand going to grasp the arm that held your head up. Your eyes teared up and closed at every pump, your body jolting up with little moans slipping through your open mouth— ones that you couldn’t stifle because of his harsh grip. 

“Look at that bulge in your tummy— Fuck— I can feel you don’t take good cock because of how tight you are baby.” He’s fucking you senseless right now, one of his hands in your tummy feelings his cock in and out of you for support, while the other keeps your legs up so he can continue thrusting. “You would look so pretty full of me, all round and beautiful with a child of me. That’s what you want, baby? You want us to have a kid? Baby trap me so I can take you from your ass of a boyfriend? Mhm?”

...

The next day you woke up in your bed, warmer than usual, you searched for your phone and looked at the hour: 7:02 A.M— until you realized who was spooning you; Satoru. It almost felt homely if it wasn’t for the thought of Geto in some part of your mind. Satoru was still sleeping, you looked back at him and he looked so pretty.

White eyelashes resting and adorning in his eyes, slow and calm breathing coming out, and the sun hitting just right his face so his natural glow shows perfectly.

You don’t remember when you passed out while both of you were having sex, but you do remember the moment you knew you lost feelings for Geto— You stood up from bed, slowly so you wouldn’t wake Gojo up, put some clothes on and went to the kitchen for some water.

Some knocks on your door interrupted you, deciding to put the glass of water down and see who’s knocking at your door this early. When you opened up the door you swear the water you just drank went straight to your mouth again, almost throwing up thanks to the view.

There he was, your boyfriend… ex boyfriend?… Geto. He had an envelope in his left hand, brows furrowed and clearly red eyes.

“Uhh, Geto?”

“Oh so now you’re calling me Geto— It turned out to be true huh?” He signaled with the envelope towards your neck, clearly visible hickeys adorning it.

You knew exactly what he was talking about, but decided to play dumb since he got no proof… At least you wanted to think that. “What are you talking about?”

“What am I talking about?” He scoffed at the question, he couldn’t believe after all you’re still playing dumb. “Maybe ask your new boyfriend about it.” He gave you the envelope, inside of it there were plenty of explicit polaroid pictures between Gojo and you. Your face turning visible red while watching the photos— you looked back at Geto, trying to form some type of explanation before Gojo suddenly interrupted you.

There he was standing in nothing but a pair of black briefs while he stretched out. “Aw c’mon Suguru, we all know you have some other bitches waiting for you. But you treated the wrong person as one.”

“You fucking—”

“Ah-ah, stay there.” He pointed at him, a proud smirk showing, “Remember what I told you last time?—” He stepped closer towards him, close enough so only the both of them could hear. “—If killing you means I can stay with Y/N, you know I wouldn’t think twice. I showed you that, didn’t I?”

He chuckled and patted his shoulder. Geto just stayed there looking at Gojo like he saw a ghost. “Remember what happens when I see red lights. They turn real.”

He said those last words without any kind of emotion before closing the door and turning back so he could look back at you with a wide smile. “So… What do you want for breakfast?”

[nica-my-beloved]

Tropes In Ikemen Series Games That I Dislike

These are my opinion so no hate!

MC BEING SHY AND BLUSHING AT THE SLIGHTEST TEASING

Some times I find it cute, but other times I wish she would just tease the male leads back.

A lighthearted flirtatious teasing would be funny to watch.

TOO MUCH SEXUAL INTERACTIONS

I understand, it spices up the story but when the most random interaction suddenly turn into a hot making out session just turns me off.

Some times in some scenes, when the moment is right, the whole steamy scene does feel nice. But not all cases.

SUBMISSIVE MCs

I mean, it's fine. I just wish the MCs were more diverse. The Ikemen MCs are way too submissive for my good. They don't even TRY to resist the advances of male lead.

They are so much in love with the guy they met for 2 weeks that they are ready to let them sleep with her, which is awkward as hell.

VERY PURE HEARTED MCs

I don't mind again, but they are not relatable at all. And I've already mentioned in one of my posts that MCs are not meant to be relatable. They are just tools that the writers use for spoon-feeding the stories to the players (because they think we're too dumb to understand the character's personality or intentions). But that doesn't mean I don't want variety.

There are so many different personalities, yet why are the MCs always so kind, so hardworking, so pure, so timid. Some times I dream about an MC who is lazy, foodie, loves shopping, doesn't like studying, doesn't care about what people say about her, doesn't like talking to people, doesn't even try to get along with people who treats her like shit, likes anime and has wallpapers of shirtless Sylus on her laptop, never follows rules......am I describing myself? Yep!

MCs don't have to hold a gun or kill someone or be the Queen of the Underworld. She can still be cool wearing pajamas and sunglasses, dancing on top of her bed at Shinee's Ring Ding Dong (I still love that song!)

THE USUAL CLICHES

Including random people coming inside the room (without knocking ofc), sees MC and a male lead in bed (fully clothed, or not doesn't matter) and still thinking that they slept together. Also MC wasting time and energy to clear up their 'misunderstanding'.

MC's promising that she will never fall in love but breaks her promise. She had one job!

MCs......*holding back puke* teaching male leads turru love *cringe 101*

Similar personality male leads. For example: Kurama, Silvio, Jude. Arthur, Sueharu, Nokto, Nica. I need more variety.

One month time period bullshit! It doesn't matter when at the end MCs are leaving their world to join the male lead (who they know only for a month). Maybe give like a 6 months or an year. Then I'll believe you.

I don't like the killing trope, where the male leads openly saying 'I'll kill you someday'. It triggers me and I don't really find it romantic in any sense.

Always MCs falling in love first and not the male lead. I understand that we play from the MC's perspective, but I really want to know how it feels when the male lead fall in love with MC first. It could be interesting.

Male leads leaving/breaking-up with MCs for her own happiness is also bullshit. I'm tired of seeing this over and over again and it annoys me. The male leads would always be like 'MC, you're not suppose to be in this world. You deserve happiness blah blah blah...' I don't like this because at the end, they eventually change their minds and decides to accept her. If they wanted her then why let go of her? So annoying. I just want a male lead, who is like 'I don't care if my world is shitty, I love MC and I want to be with her! I'll always make her happy and protect her!'

[jokeringcutio]

Art the Clown x Reader (WARNINGS) Halloween smut.

AN: Follow me for more Halloween Reader Inserts. More stories will follow this month.

Drabble. Please read ALL warnings. Pairing: Art the Clown x Reader Rating: Explicit Summary: It is Halloween when you bump into a clown and, embarrassed, apologize. Later that evening, your roommate Meri seems to have invited that very same clown into your house for a bit of fun. But that fun turns quickly into a nightmare.

Warnings: Mention of Murder, Cannibalism, death of a friend, Sexual content, dub-con. Reader is scared of clowns. Implied Virginity/First Time. Mention of Blood. Coulrophobia.

1.

The streetlights cast eerie shadows as you hurried home on Halloween evening, arms laden with bags of candy. It was the right atmosphere for it, you thought. All the shadows seemed longer, and in the dark, the ornaments of the houses seemed to come to life. Pumpkins, fake skeletons… Your heart pounded in your chest, the brisk autumn air chilling you to the bone.

As you turned the corner, you collided with a man dressed as a clown, gasping in shock. His attire immediately sent shivers down your spine; black and white suit divided vertically down the middle, large ruffles at his collar and cuffs. A tiny black hat perched atop a white bald cap, while his face was painted with stark contrasts of black and white makeup. The pointy nose bore a black dot, and his eyes were as dark as the abyss.

"Sorry, I didn't see you," you stammered, feeling your pulse race. As if it wasn’t bad enough that you accidentally walked into someone, he had to be dressed as a clown. And you had an irrational fear of clowns. You could not help but tremble and blush in embarrassment. Come on, you thought to yourself, it’s just a grown-up man wearing a costume. Clowns are supposed to be funny. Don’t be so scared.

Art the Clown stared at you silently, unblinking. It was unnerving, but you thought he took offense to the way you had reacted to his outfit. He probably had spent a lot of time getting dressed up, you thought, when you saw all the makeup he wore. And when people put a lot of effort into their costumes and looks, they want to be complimented. Not for some stranger to freak out and insult all of their hard work.

"I-I have coulrophobia,” you stammered, trying to explain your weird reaction to him. God, this was all so embarrassing. You wished you could just fade away. “I'm scared of clowns."

He tilted his head, a cruel smile forming on his painted lips. Nope, that definitely freaked you out again. You had to force a smile on your own, praying he did not see how much effort it took you to be kind and polite to him.

"Nice costume, though," you whispered while you let your eyes rove over his form shortly, just enough to note once again how oddly this man was dressed. Most clowns you met were colorful. But this one, he was grim. A true horror clown, you realized. He fits the theme of Halloween excellently.

“You’re going to enjoy yourself tonight,” you shyly mumbled, embarrassed by the entire encounter. You couldn’t wait to get away. Clutching the candy closer to your chest, you quickly bid him a good evening before stepping away from him and resuming your hurried pace toward home.

You felt the man’s eyes stare at your back until you rounded the corner.

2.

A few hours had passed and children from all over the neighborhood came trick-or-treating at the door. Their laughter and excited chatter filled the air. You glanced at the clock. Just one more hour before the party started. Meri, your roommate, was already wearing a nice blue dress with a  very short skirt. Deliberately. You knew she wanted to score tonight. Meri was like that, always eager for a nice time with a willing man.

You glanced down at yourself. You hadn’t really had the time to come up with something nice, but you knew that Meri had more than enough dresses in her closet. You’d borrowed some of her before.

“Yeah, you can borrow one of mine again,” you heard Meri say, and when you looked up you caught her looking at you with a grin.

“As if you can read thoughts,” you whispered, earning a chuckle from your friend.

“I can and I am damn good at it,” Meri said. “I have a pretty red one that would fit you well. Show a bit of cleavage,” she winked at you. “Can’t do no harm.” She turned around and beckoned you to follow her to her room. Once inside, she took the dress out of her closet and showed it to you. You chewed your lip worriedly.

“I don’t know,” you said, earnestly concerned about how revealing that dress actually was. Then your eye fell upon a dress you had borrowed from her before. “Can’t I just take the green one?”

Meri rolled her eyes. “God, no. You definitely need some action, babe. This dress will give you that. I guarantee it.” She thrust the dress into your hands and started to push you towards the door. “Go on, get changed.”

You were about to protest when the doorbell rang and you could hear kids shouting "trick or treat!" from beyond the door.

“I’ll get that,” Meri said with a wink. She smiled warmly at you while she made her way to the door. “Now go get changed, princess. I can’t go to the party with you dressed like that.”

You glanced down at yourself to see what she meant by that. Comfy pants, a baggy shirt, wintery socks. All right, you did not look like any of those women in the magazines. She had a point. With a sigh of defeat, you turned around to head to your own room.

But that was when an idea hit you.

Meri was answering the door. You could quickly slip into her room and pick up the green dress. It would only take a second.

Seizing the opportunity, you slipped into her bedroom, rummaging through her closet where you’d seen the dress you wanted to wear. With a bright smile, you found it. But just as your hand landed on the desired green dress, the sound of Meri's voice reached your ears. “Come in, thing. We can have a bit of fun in my room.”

You froze. The sound of footsteps heading your way made your heart leap into your throat. Had she invited someone in? By the sound of it, she was not alone.

Panicking, you dove into her wardrobe, the scent of her perfume enveloping you as you hid among her clothes.

Your breath hitched as Meri entered the room, the wardrobe door cracked open just enough for you to peek out.  “Come on in, sweetheart,” Meri playfully said. You saw her beckon someone who was still on the other side of the threshold. Meri was horny, there was no doubt. You knew she had been so for a while now, hence why she insisted on going to the party tonight. But apparently, someone had come and offered himself willingly at your door. A friend? Someone you knew? Steve again? He would sometimes come around. Or Will?

But when Meri turned around, that excited smile still on her lips, you could finally see the man who wished to follow her into the bedroom. An oversized shoe appeared over the threshold, followed by a suit that was half black and half white.

The evening's events played like a twisted nightmare in your head, the clown’s haunting smile refused to leave your thoughts. It was him though. He was dressed exactly as before: black and white suit, pointy nose, black eyes that held a malicious glint. Fear gripped you, but curiosity kept you from fleeing. Was Meri actually going to have sex with this stranger?

Peeking through the crack in the wardrobe, you saw Meri lead Art the Clown into her bedroom, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Quite the costume," Meri purred, running her fingers over his ruffled collar. "I like a man who knows how to stand out."

She didn't seem to care about his silence, only growing bolder in her advances. The stranger sat himself on the edge of her bed and Meri purred again. You wanted to roll your eyes at the show she made. Slowly, she began to undress, exposing more and more of her flawless skin. Meri was beautiful like that. It had often irked you how easily some things came to her, simply because of her looks.

Meri moved her hips alluringly from side to side, unhooking her bra like a stripper before she let it drop to the floor. Her fingers pressed against her breasts, pushing them closer together while she let out a moan. Art's gaze never wavered, locked onto her every movement. Then she shimmied her panties down her hips, slowly stepping out of them.

"Want a taste?" Meri asked, lying back on the bed and spreading her legs. Your breath caught in your throat as Art moved closer, kneeling between her thighs. One bandaged hand was placed on her naked thigh. You could have questioned why the man remained in his costume, but you didn’t. Instead, you felt your breath hitch in your throat at the sight. Sensual, you thought. You felt your own body respond, slick gathering between your folds unbiddenly. And yet, you could not tear your gaze away.

The clown’s tongue darted out. You could see the pink coming from between the black of his lips. A slurping wet noise. "Y-yeah, just like that," Meri moaned, arching her back as he went down on her. Another slurp, another moan, another spark of arousal down your core. You pressed your legs shut, a hand firmly against your lower abdomen. You shouldn’t respond to this. You shouldn’t. "God, you're so good with your mouth," Meri gasped.

The clown gave no reaction. He continued to lick and slurp, his fingers folding Meri’s pussy lips aside so his mouth could easily reach her pearl. He was sipping, slurping, licking, and nipping and you could not tear your eyes away. It was a mesmerizing sight. Meri’s hand found his scalp, pressing him even deeper between her legs. He licked her now. Long, languid licks.

Meri shuddered in ecstasy, but after a few moments of the same, she started to catch her breath again. "Too bad my roommate isn't like this," Meri murmured, but you could hear it. "She's such a wallflower, probably never even had sex. Scared of it, I'd bet." You felt your face flush with shame, wondering if she knew you were hiding there, listening to her words.

“That’s it, baby,” Meri panted, the hand between her legs bobbing up and down faster now. “That’s it, make me cum.” The clown was working his magic apparently, because Meri threw her head back, lost in pleasure.

You bit your lip and clutched the green dress closer against your chest. You didn’t want to watch, knew it was supposed to be a private moment. But curiosity got the better of you, for Meri was right. You weren’t like her. You weren’t-

Suddenly, Meri screamed, her hands started clawing at the sheets. Her eyes turned wide, bulging, the screeching sounds of her screams were painful to your ears. It took you a moment to realize what you saw. The clown’s head kept bobbing up and down between Meri’s legs, but something was wrong now.

Those dreadful black-painted lips no longer glistened with fluids of passion, you realized with a shock. Instead, a darker liquid streamed down the man’s chin, and something large and chunky was caught between his teeth. Your eyes widened in horror as you realized Art was no longer merely pleasuring her.  He was literally devouring her, tearing into her flesh with his teeth. Panic surged through you, but you couldn't look away. Your hands itched for your phone, to call 911, but you had left it in your room.

All you could do was watch. Watch and listen and pray.

3.

Darkness surrounded the place. All you heard was your own heavy breathing, like a drum announcing a war. Your ears hurt, your throat was dry, your body felt numb. A horrible stench reached your nostrils.

It was over, had been so for possibly hours. You could not tell. You had not dared to move in case the clown had not left the house yet. But you had heard the door ages ago. Yet fear had kept you frozen.

An eerie silence filled the room. You stayed hidden in the wardrobe, paralyzed by terror until you were sure the clown must have left. Logic told you that you could not stay here forever. Shaking and weak-kneed, you slipped out of your hiding place.

Moving as silently as possible, you tiptoed through the dimly lit apartment, avoiding the gruesome scene in Meri's room. Whatever was left of her - and it wasn’t much – had dripped all over the bedroom walls and floor. Her bed was drenched in blood. All you wanted was to get your phone and call for help – you couldn't bear to look at whatever was left of your friend.

The door to your bedroom creaked open, and you stepped inside, the scent of lavender from your bedsheets a faint comfort in the midst of chaos. Your eyes darted around the room, searching for your phone. Hadn’t you left it on your nightstand? You felt around in the dark but found nothing. And so, with trembling fingers, you flicked on the light switch.

You looked at the nightstand first, but your phone was nowhere to be seen. Strange, you thought, and with a frown, you turned around. You’d closed the door upon entering, and it still was. But there was something odd about the shape of the shadow you saw that fell on it. Almost as if you had grown larger all of a sudden.

With eyes wide, you very slowly turned back to your nightstand. It was just as you had feared. There he stood, Art the Clown, grinning maliciously as he waved your phone in the air. Fear clawed at your throat, leaving you unable to scream or move. His black eyes bore into you, holding you captive.

"Please," you whispered, voice barely audible, "don't hurt me."

He didn't respond, his silence more chilling than any words could be. In one fluid motion, he lunged forward, overpowering you with ease. He threw you onto the bed, his bony fingers digging into your flesh, betraying his inhuman strength.

"Stop," you choked out, but he continued, undeterred. His fingers ran down your body nimbly as he tore off your clothes. Piece by piece. You heard the fabric rip and tear and had to squeeze your eyes shut. The sound reminded you too much of earlier. Of her. Your friend.

You hardly noticed how swiftly he had you exposed and vulnerable beneath him. Not until a cold puff of air made your nipples peak and you finally looked.

Pitch-black eyes bore into yours and you had to bite back a cry of fear. His face was very close to your own, hovering over yours. From this close, you could see the black paint around his eyes and lips, how there wasn’t a single crack in the white surrounding it. With a shock, you realized his teeth were a rotten color. Black, brown. But they weren’t ordinary teeth. As he grinned at you, you saw that something about his mouth was wrong.

Scary thoughts clouded your mind. Would he tear his teeth into your flesh like he had done with Meri? Would he torture you too? You forced yourself not to think back to any of it. Not to the pleasure you had felt at first, or the fear after, or the helplessness.

You became aware of the sound of fabric rustling and followed his movements with your eyes. His arm moved, his hand was doing something down below. Your eyes came to rest just below his abdomen. You had not thought his suit could open there, but it could. Something large and pale popped out of its confines. Flesh, you thought alarmed. Hard and large. Veins throbbed, purple and black. The head spilled a droplet of something white. Pre-cum.

This was his cock? This monstrously large cock was to fit inside of you?

Your mouth had been dry before, but it became impossible to swallow as you watched the clown position himself between your legs. You wanted to protest, say no, push him away. Your hands were upon his chest without thinking, but he was stronger than you. You stood no chance.

“No, please,” you gasped while he fumbled with his cock at your entrance. He looked down at himself as he tried to position himself and seemed annoyed when he couldn’t find your entrance. You felt the leaky head brush past your folds a few times and panicked. Your heart beat faster and your chest heaved rapidly.

“Please,” you begged again, your hands still pushing against his shoulders – to no avail. Then, you felt it. The head nudged against your entrance, parting your walls ever so slightly. But he had noticed it as well. Art’s sour expression made room for a smile as if he was relieved. His eyes darted up to meet yours again, silently telling you that this was going to be fun.

“It won’t fit,” you pleaded weakly, but your whispered words ended in a silent gasp when Art thrust forth, burying his large cock inside your deep warmth in one go. Too much. Your back arched, pressing your body up against his. Your naked breasts brushed past the coarse fabric of his suit. You didn’t care at this point that his clothes were riddled with spots of blood. Everything was focused on the feel of his shaft deep inside of you, hitting the depth of you mercilessly with a blunt thrust.

You gasped silently - as if the clown had ripped your voice away and had rendered you mute. Blood covered his shaft as he pulled out, making him smile even wider. Was that yours? You were pleading silently for this nightmare to end. But as he thrust inside of you, a shameful warmth began to spread through your body. Despite the terror, you found yourself responding to his touch, your heart racing for reasons other than fear. With your hands you tried to claw at him while his hands circled your hips, getting a good grip on your flesh before he started pounding into you in a steady rhythm.

That awful grin of his never seemed to leave his face. Not while he was treating you like a nice piece of meat, slapping your ass while he thrust inside of you. You could see his wicked teeth - black and brown and yellow - and had to force yourself not to think of what his mouth could do. His hips slapped against yours, hipbones prodding against your softer flesh. He was lean and nimble, but the grip he had on you with his hands was fierce and unyielding, certain to leave bruises.

A low moan threatened to spill from your lips and you rolled your head from side to side. What was he doing to you? The clown’s pointy chin brushed past your clavicle as he dipped his head forward, and then you felt his teeth brush past your skin. Scared that he would take a bite and tear out your flesh, you tried to arch your back away from him, but felt him respond by intensifying his grip and pushing you back down. As a response, you had earned a deep harsh thrust with his hips, feeling the head of his cock batter your cervix cruelly.

With each stroke deep inside, you felt your pussy lubricate the way for him. You felt your body respond to his wicked touch. Each slap against your ass had your walls squeeze down on him hard. Each thrust deep inside your core seemed to hit a delicious spot that made you see stars.

Breathlessly, you allowed him to rut inside of you, unable to stop him and unable to so much as make a sound while he pounded you into oblivion. You were helpless against the pleasure that threatened to consume you. He moved relentlessly, driving you closer and closer to the edge.

It didn't make sense – how could you enjoy this? Was there something wrong with you?

A few times you tried to close your eyes, but a slap to your cheek had you open them again to gaze up into the black depths of hell. His devilish smile was above you at all times, grinning down, reminding you of the pleasure he derived from your body. And the pleasure he gave you in turn. Sickening as it was, the demonic man above you managed to bring forth feelings that made your body tremble in agonizing pleasure.

When you came, your walls clamped down hard upon his shaft, milking him in a silent plea for more. You bit your lip from crying out. No way you’d show him that you enjoyed this. You wouldn’t give him the pleasure of your moans.

The silence made the wet sounds only seem louder. Wet thrusts of his cock as he slammed it inside of you hard, despite your walls milking him for all you were worth. Noises of sin, of pleasure, of lust. And then, as he finished inside of you, a shudder ran through your body, your climax tearing through you like a wildfire.

You were still biting your lip, aware it must be bleeding by now, but you’d be damned if you so much as would let him hear your passion. You glanced up at him. The wicked clown’s smile had disappeared. In its stead, you now saw a pensive, almost endearing look in his eyes, as he cocked his head and seemed to study you.

A calloused finger tilted your head back, revealing your throat to him while you looked back at him through half-lidded eyes. He tilted his head to the other side again, dick still twitching inside of your tight cunt, and seemed to study the tears in your eyes. You hadn’t noticed they had formed there. Would have wanted to say they were out of fear or sadness, rather than the harsh truth that they were out of pleasure.

With bated breath, you waited for what he was to do next. Would he kill you now, you wondered? The clown moved, his cock slipping from your core limply, leaving behind a trail of dark blood and yellowish cum.

He surprised you by moving forward, leaning on his elbows, as he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead in a twisted mockery of tenderness. The contrast between his sadistic actions and this tender gesture only served to confuse you further.

You squeezed your eyes shut, thinking that surely this would be it. But the rustle of fabric against the bed indicated that he moved away. You waited and listened, heart beating wildly in your chest. But there was only the sound of another rustle. Plastic?

Curious, you opened your eyes to find Art standing several feet away. Picking up a garbage bag you hadn't noticed before, Art slung it over his shoulder and made his way to the window. Not the door, you noted. But the window. How odd?

He opened it. The sound of the window sent a shiver down your spine as you lay on the bed, watching the clown swing one leg over the edge and step outside. He turned around to face you. His black eyes glinted demonically in the darkness of the night – like little coals of fire. And then his smile returned once more. Seeing it, seeing him like that, made something twist deep inside of you.

And still, no sound could come forth from between your lips. The only thing you noticed was how warm your pussy felt at the sight of him, how your nipples peeked, and how your walls clamped down around his phantom cock, craving the real thing to be returned to you.

With a final, silent laugh, he blew you a kiss before disappearing into the night, leaving you alone in the aftermath of your orgasm, mind racing with a thousand unanswerable questions. ~ Fin ~

AN: Hope you enjoyed it :) ♡ Support me on Ko-Fi ♡ Love you all

[chateaaa]

stay.

pairing: Chigiri Hyoma x fem! reader

warnings: angst, fluff, swearing

req: hi! i was reading a manga and it was a girl who looks like a prince with the guy who's the prince of the school date and stuff, and i was wondering what if chigiri met someone who looked like a prince or was treated like one cuz chigiri is like a princess so yeah (strangers to friends to lovers?)

u can just ignore this request but have a good day!! :3

— series here

A small red-head was making his way to Rajitsu Tech, a middle school in Kagoshima. He was considered the prettiest boy in his school, and it honestly fed him up because he hates being called a princess.

As he was walking to the school gates, there was a group of students who seemed to be surrounding a person, and that person is y/n, a new student who looks and acts very much like a prince.

As y/n struggled to get out of the group who was surrounding her, Chigiri and y/n made eye contact. They stared at each other for at least 3 seconds and then Chigiri broke it.

He then left the school entrance and hurriedly went inside to his classroom, thinking about how charming she was "Shit, she was so handsome" Chigiri thought with a blush.

timeskip, soccer field

Chigiri was panting heavily, the sun setting down, he was still practicing soccer. He then fell on his knees as fatigue caught up to him, he needed to train because he wanted to be the best. He hated it when the Wanima brothers made fun of him, he needed to crush them.

As he was breathing heavily in the middle of the court, he saw a water bottle on his field of vision, as he looked up, he then saw his new crush named y/n, handing him a water bottle.

"You aren't going to accept it?" asked y/n, because Chigiri was just looking at the bottle.

.

.

.

"E-eh..?" Chigiri silently muttered as he thought that y/n was just a halucination.

"pwaHAHAHA" y/n laughed very loudly as she sat down beside Chigiri in the soccer field, a very shocking emotion for someone who was graceful and elegant, that's why y/n earned her nickname called "prince".

"Hey, you're Chigiri Hyoma right? let's be friends!" said y/n with a dorky grin

"sure." Chigiri said with a blush

timeskip, 2 months later

"Oi, Chigiri wait up!"

"I did warn you, i'm a fast walker" Chigiri taunted back to the female.

The soccer princess, Chigiri Hyoma, was in front of his middle school, waiting for his female friend crush to catch up with him.

"Haahh.... why did you sprint??!? were like 40 minutes early today!" exclaimed the handsome female as she dropped to her knees.

Chigiri tried to stop his laugh but failed, offering his hand to her.

"You're very slow, n/n" said Chigiri with a smirk

"eughhh very funny Chi, anyways let's go to the convenience store before class! you should power up because today is a tiring day!" said the girl because she really needed to have the energy to answer all the tests.

"You don't need a power up, i bet you're going to be the top scorer again" said Chigiri as he caught up to his friend, who was on the way to the nearest convenience store.

"What are you talking about, you have a match after class right?" said the girl nonchalantly.

Chigiri blushed because y/n remembered he has a match after class.

"i expect to see you there then" Chigiri nudged the girl back as the girl was buying her favorite drink.

The duo then walked to school, not until people tried to swarm all over the popular girl.

"oh crap, gotta make a run for it! can't have people talk to me and ask about my hair products, bye Chi-chan! i'm going to hide" said the girl as she sprinted, leaving Chigiri behind, ahh yes the perks of being popular.

Chigiri smiled with his interaction with y/n as he went to his classroom, sure they were friends, but Chigiri has a crush on her, y/n was the only person that could make him smile as he was on the field.

"Oh! look what we have here!"

The smile Chigiri had quickly turned into a disgusted look, looking at the source of the noise, it was the Wanima Brothers.

The eldest grunted, while the youngest reacted "My brother says, Why is he smiling like an idiot, do you really think you have a chance with y/n?"

Chigiri sighed as he ignored the brothers as he made his way to his classroom, thinking about what they said, 'do i really stand a chance with y/n? i can't stop the fact that i really like her'

after class, soccer field

"Chigiri are you ready for the game?" one of his teammates asks

"Oh, yeah" he replied nonchalantly, his mind pumping up with excitement, he would finally confess to his long time crush, and friend after the game.

...

...

...

"Somebody call the ambulance!"

"He needs a doctor! quick!"

His vision was fuzzy and cloudy as tears pricked the corner of his eyes, his breath was hot and heavy, All he could feel was an excruciating amount of pain on his right knee. All his teammates tried to ask him questions and whatnot however, nobody dared to touch and help him.

"Move it!"

The only voice he recognized appeared, his prince in shining armor, y/n looked at chigiri in horror as her friend has his knee obviously not in the right place, but she calmed herself down as she knew what to do.

Y/n gulped and kneeled to where Chigiri is "Hyoma, i'm going to carry you on my back, i'm going to bring you to the ambulance." she said as she tried to calm her nerves.

Chigiri only nodded as he felt himself being carried on the back of y/n, tears pricked down his eyes as he stared at the Wanima Brothers, who was laughing at his pathetic state.

"Don't worry Hyoma, i got you" Y/n muttered, that was the last thing Chigiri heared as his vision turned black.

1 week later

'my soccer life is over...' Chigiri thought, looking at his crutches, he was so pathetic that he couldn't even walk without support.

"Hyoma you have a visitor" said his mom, as

y/n entered his room, holding a bag of Karinto Manju, y/n sat down in a chair near his bed.

they both sat there in silence, y/n broke it by saying "Hey, Chigiri, how are you feeling?"

Chigiri laughed, thinking about how the world was mocking him "I'm feeling like shit. Do you honestly think that breaking my leg would make me feel happy? why are you here!?! i don't need you!" Chigiri said, clearly letting his frustrations get to him.

Y/n looked shock, who woudve thought that the Chigiri who would softly smile at her would shout at her.

"Fuck off L/n, go talk to your fans and stop worrying about me! honestly why the fuck are you worrying about MY leg, why are you acting like you were the one who has injured?!! do you think i'm going to be happy about this? my soccer career is fucking over!" Chigiri continued, tears pricked the corner of the female's eyes, clearly displeased because of the behavior shown by her one and only true friend.

"I'm sorry Chigiri, i guess this was the wrong time to visit" y/n said as she stood up and went out of his room, trying to hid the tears spilling out of her eyes, clearly scared to lose him

3 weeks later

Chigiri was seen struggling walking, he had just removed his crutches, he needed to catch up with the team or else he would fall behind. He had self doubts, however he and the h/c girl has not talked yet.

Chigiri wanted to apologize to her, He knew he was at the wrong, he wanted to go back to their previous days where they would joke around and laugh without a care in the world. He wanted to tell you how he got accepted to this program called blue lock. He wanted to make you his.

During lunch break, as Chigiri was trying to find the princely girl, He saw her and smiled, however that smile turned to a quick frown as he watched the scene in front.

"I like you! Y/n-san!" shouted a boy from the same class as you, handing a love letter.

Chigiri looked displeased, he knew you were far more popular than him, you got the beauty and the brains, girls and boys follow you around yet you continue to hang out with him, why? he hated the way he treated you when you were at his house, his emotions got the best of him and he shut you off. He knew that you were so far out of your league. But he still likes you.

As he continued to watch the scene, the boy quickly left, it looks like he got rejected.

As soon as you saw Chigiri struggling to walk towards you, as soon as you saw that, you ran towards him.

"Hyoma! are you sure you can walk without crutches already?" you asked, holding both of Chigiri's hands to prevent him from falling.

Chigiri took a deep breath and said "Y/n i'm so fucking sorry, i had to get this out of my chest because i've been invited to this program called blue lock, i have to leave—"

you cut him off by saying in a sad but monotone voice "It's fine Hyoma, I get it, you don't need me in your life. I guess this is where our journey ends. Thank you for being the person i can express my feelings freely."

Chigiri's eyes widened, how did you get to that conclusion?

"Honestly i really have no idea how dense you are, I really like you, Chigiri Hyoma. But it's fine if you push me away" you continued, your voice going in a hushed tone as you said what you felt to your crush.

You closed your eyes as you braised for the impact, clearly expecting Chigiri to push you away, however you were met with a kiss, on the lips. Butterflies exploded your stomach.

As you opened your eyes, you saw Chigiri, then he crushed you in a hug.

"Y/n, i fucking like you! i'm sorry for pushing you away, fuck! please don't leave. Don't turn your back on me, don't leave me..."

Ackk i'm so sorry for uploading this late, it was so rushed i hope you guys understand when the POVs are changing 😵‍💫😵‍💫. THIS IS LITERALLY MY LONGEST FIC SO FAR LOL. This was requested by my lovely mutual <33 tysm!! Hope this reached your expectations 😭 i kinda hate it lol

[irishmammonagenda]

Types of Dogs I Think The Obey Me Brothers Would Have

Disclaimer: i know nothing about dog breeds other than my dog is better than every other dog in the world because i said so. this is all obviously my opinion because im 100% not holding off looking at my inbox for requests rn 😰

(wee emo anon + réalta and then the other random one ilysm for not doxing me fir being atleast a month late and not having even started with your reqs yet🙏🙏🙏)

post dividers by @saradika-graphics, images of the brothers below the divider are from amias on pinterest + all animal photos found on pinterest

LUCIFER

Irish Wolfhound

He already has a dog who he obviously loves very much (Cerberus) who is a hellhound, so he thought to himself that another hound would be a good idea since Cerberus gets lonely sometimes :(

He calls the dog 'Tuireann' because he thinks he's fucking funny.

You know that stereotype of the dad not wanting the dog but the dad ends up loving the dog like its his own child or something?

If you do know, then you know Lucifer.

Tuireann gets on very well with Cerberus. Lucifer makes a commitment to taking breaks more often and taking both out on walks, which terrifies his brothers, but has made Diavolo very happy with him. (Yay Lucifer taking care of himself for once!)

He cuddles up to both of them more often. Both dogs are very happy.

Will kill for his dogs btw :)

Laughed one time when Tuireann saw Solomon as a threat.

MAMMON

Golden Retriever

Someone told him he could win 'gold' at a casino. So he gambled, ended up winning (for once) and got his 'gold'.

This man was almost outraged when the 'gold' in question was a golden retriever puppy.

He was about to say something in outrage, then the witch plopped the little guy down into his arms and her little nose started sniffing at his exposed collarbone. He closed his open, outraged mouth and pet the little thing, blinking back small tears because it was so cute.

Mammon would like to argue that this did not happen but it did. The witch in question has proof and has sent Lucifer the video in apology for trying to summon him. Said witch is now a good acquaintance of Lucifer's, and has not been punished brutally. She has learnt her lesson and will not attempt to make a pact with the Avatar of Pride ever again. *Unlike Solomon. That bastard never learns.)

Mammon probably calls the dog something like 'Bailey'

He was originally going to call her 'Goldie' but then remembered that was his credit card's name. So he thought about the name 'Retrievie' but even to him that sounded fucking stupid.

He loves this dog so much and buys her so much dog toys and treats.

Gets his crows to play with her.

Mammon basically is a Golden Retriever if you think about it. (A Golden Retriever with mental issues that thinks its an awesome scary dragon or something, but a golden retriever none-the-less.)

He buys Bailey a bed but she literally only sleeps on him or on his bed.

When he lets her out into the garden while he's busy he always has atleast 2 crows watching her/playing with her.

He tries to train her to dig for buried treasure. Instructions unclear, they both dug up the whole back garden. He now has to fix the garden.

They say that a 'Dog is a Man's Best Friend', but this dog is Mammon's whole life.

There is dog hair all over this man. Atleast he's not an emo and doesn't wear all black.

Hair rollers are a must.

He cries when they're separated for more than a day in case you were wondering.

LEVIATHAN

Kokoni

Lucifer gave him it in an attempt to get Levi to touch grass once in a while.

At first Levi was scared of the dog, then he decided she was cute. Watches an anime about a dog and realises he should be a responsible owner and take her out on walks!

Leviathan has now touched grass. I repeat, Leviathan has now touched grass.

Calls her 'Ruri' you know he would.

He almost called her Henry 3.0

He has to make sure Henry 2.0 is unreachable to Ruri. He's scared Ruri might eat Henry 2.0

He's still kind of scared of Ruri but loves her.

Since getting Ruri he's actually been remembering to take care of himself. As a reward, once a month for a day or two, Lucifer will take over taking care of Ruri so Levi can have one of his gaming marathons uninterrupted.

Levi plays the Devildom equivalent to pokemon go while walking Ruri

Levi rants to Ruri about the anime or manga he's currently obessed with while playing with her with some chew toy or something.

She lays beside him in his bathtub sometimes and lays her head on his lap while he watches anime.

Lucifer is very happy with this outcome. So is Levi.

SATAN

Rottweiler

He originally saw something in some article or whatever he read about Rottweilers being aggressive, possibly saying that they weren't a 'good' dog breed.

Satan knows what its like to be labelled as aggressive and unsafe, so he has sort of a soft spot for 'bad' dog breeds.

So one day, he's talking to one of his various acquaintances, and for whatever reason, they visit an animal shelter.

Satan hears another couple say they wouldn't get a dog because 'isn't that breed really aggressive?' and he feels sad, he's not mad at the couple, it's a reasonable concern, but poor dog :(.

He approaches that worker a couple of minutes after his acquaintance leaves and asks them about the rottweiler.

Long story short he walks out with it on a leash, standard food, and a bowl courtesy of the shelter.

Calls the dog 'Julie' because he had just finished pirating a preformance of Romeo and Juliet. (which he enjoyed criticising, but he liked the name Juliet and also Belphie likes the band Julie so)

He makes sure to take the time and effort to socialise Julie with cats because this is Satan we're talking about for fuck's sake.

He takes Julie on walks before stopping at a dog-friendly café in the Devildom.

Julie also sleeps on Satan's lap when she's tired and he's reading.

Satan gets a lot more into audiobooks after he adopts Julie so he can still technically 'read' without having to ignore his new pooch.

Will write several books on why she's the best girl ever, and will make you read them.

ASMODEUS

Westie

A fan gifted him a dog for his birthday for some reason. At first he accepted the gift and devised a plan to give the dog away but the shelter was closed over the weekend, so he elected to let the dog stay with him until then.

Ends up getting attached. This is his baby now.

Calls her 'Angel' because he thinks she's an angel. She also kind of reminds him of Luke so.

This little rat is all over his Devilgram.

So much so there are fanclubs for her now.

This little rat has fanclubs.

Angel gets walked everyday. Asmo loves the excerise and says its done wonders for his skin.

He doesn't like when she digs, but oh well.

Loves grooming her.

Cuddles galore.

He trains her how to do tricks.

His excitable nature really goes well with hers, and they really bond.

The fan that gave her to him is now one of his friends.

He loves that rat.

BEELZEBUB

Bernese Mountain Dog

Two words. 'Gentle Giant'

He probably names her something like 'Bernie'

Bernese Mountain Dogs are massive, I feel like Beel would be the type of guy who loves big dogs. Given how big this Demon is, I feel like he'd be scared of hurting a smaller dog. He probably got an already adult rescue from a shelter.

It was one of those cliche things, meeting eyes with this big sad dog in a cage and Beel just knowing, "This is my baby."

Bernese Mountain Dogs DROOL, and I feel like Beel wouldn't mind that seeing as he is the Avatar of Gluttony.

Speaking of being the Avatar of Gluttony, Beel's dog 100% gives him puppy eyes while he's sitting at the table eating, and what does Beel do? He sneaks his dog food under the table.

Given his workout schedule this doggo gets atleast one walk a day. ATLEAST.

Beel one hundred percent cuddles up with that dog. You thought he had a mental bond with Belphie? Well that man has a mental connection of that caliber with his dog.

He is covered in dog hair but he sees that as making him part of the pact with Bernie so he couldn't care less. (He does clean up shed hair with a roller when going out though)

Bernie might've been a rescue and maybe could've lived a hard life before Beel adopted her, but Beel loves her like she's his own child that is his BABY.

BELPHEGOR

Shiba Inu

It reminded him of Beel, okay??!

Normally Belphie can't be bothered with animals, but when he saw the ad saying 'FOR SALE: NEEDS BETTER HOME' and saw that closed eye Beel smile his grinchy little heart grew three sizes that day.

He adopts the dog.

He calls her something like, 'Bella'

No thats not because it sounds like Beel. Piss off.

Bella isn't too high maintenence and actually does well for Belphie's productivity.

The seventh born actually goes on regular (though albeit) short walks with Bella.

Beel bonds with the dog as well and is very happy to take her on his morning runs with him.

Bella is affectionate but fucking stubborn. (Just like Belphie if you think about it)

Sometimes while cuddling (which only happen on Bella's terms by the way), she will not get off of Belphie, no matter how much Belphie asks. (Not that he minds, its an extra excuse to be lazy)

The cuddling in question is literally just Bella laying on top of Belphie like she's some sort of cat.

Bella is more of a brat than Belphie and thats saying something. The man spoils her.

Finally, a being (other than you and Beel) that understands him.

as you can tell I love big dogs and think small dogs are little rats. (said affectionately)

all of these dogs are female btw bc i got humped by my cousins dog recently and i wish that pain on no one. not even my worst enemy (which is solomon btw)

by the way unhinged anon im still waiting for you to go through with that threat 🤨🤨

[neetily]

—follower thank you event !!

in an effort to thank you all and appreciate all of the love, support, and kindness you have all shown me over the many months i've known you, especially when following me on this new blog too, i've decided to open up a matchup event!

— what is a matchup? basically, you send me some information (you can see which i need further down) and depending on what you send me, i will match you up like your very own personal cupid to a character i think fits you most from the designated fandoms! i've also included some extra information and goodies to make it a little more fun hehe...

— below, you will find all the information you may require to take part in this event! please read through it carefully and thoroughly, as anyone who does not abide by these rules will have their entry deleted immediately.

— the event will run for three days, or until all of the slots are taken.

20/20 slots taken

— RULES

matchups are being done for Stardew Valley, Degrees of Lewdity, and Fields of Mistria only.

you must include your age in bio.

you must send me a message off anon so that i can keep track of who sends what, you will, however, still remain anonymous! i will post your matchup anonymously in a separate post, and then answer your ask privately with a link to it to let you know that i finished it up!

you must be following me, as this is an event made for my followers! new followers are welcome, of course.

you can send in a max of 1 messages and in that one message you can ask for a max of 2 fandoms to count for 2 entries during the event duration, any extra entries will be subsequently deleted. i will then provide up to 2 drabbles per fandom requested for!

my limits still very much apply to this event, jsyk!

are you a mutual? then this rule is for you! you guys do not count when it comes to taking up slots, but you can still only send a max of 2 fandoms! just don't worry if all the slots are taken up and you didn't get a chance to take part, you guys can always take part <3

— MATCHUP INFORMATION

here is all the information you should/could add to your entry! you can, of course, add more or less. but the more you add then the better/more accurate your matchup will be!

a brief personality description

a brief description of your appearance (such as if you wear glasses, prefer skirts, always have your hair tied up. please do not be too specific and/or extensive)

zodiac sign/MBTI

your ideal type

your favourite trope (one)

your favourite kink (one)

your favourite season

preferred terms of endearment

preferred genitalia (otherwise, i will default to none and try to be as nondescript as possible)

any likes/dislikes

hobbies

your love language

who you want to top/bottom

anything else you wish to mention!

in addition to the above, information i absolutely require is as follows;

do you prefer sweet (fluff) or spicy (smut) tastes?

what is your favourite date spot/event?

which fandom would you like to be matched up in?

which character gender would you like to be matched up with?

when you are alone, do you prefer to... listen to music, text your friends, or do something creative?

— given the information you provide me, i will find someone suitable for you that fits your parameters and write about why i think so, as well as attaching a little babble/drabble to the end exploring your relationship a bit further!

— example entry 1: hi! im an outspoken extrovert type, and my star sign is leo! i really love classical romance stories, and tend to find it difficult to stop yapping. my friends say that i am funny, kind, and a perfectionist! i like being called "love", and i'd prefer if you'd use "cunt" when referencing genitalia. i love sweet treats and the colour blue, and my favourite hobby is ice skating. my ideal date would be at an amusement park, and i love texting my friends! please could you match me up with a male from DOL? thank you!

— example entry 2: hello there! i'd describe myself as shy, unsure, but kind! my love language is physical touch, and i love painting! when it comes to tropes, my favourite is "childhood best friends". and as for kinks, choking is my favourite! i enjoy being called degrading names, and summer is my favourite season, so i'd love if you included that! please could you also include the reader wearing glasses for me? as for your required information, i prefer spicy, a beach setting is perfect for a date, i'd like to request from any two fandom you choose, and either gender is fine! also, i prefer listening to music when i'm alone, thank you!

or something like that, yknow? just be sure to include brief descriptions and the required info and we're good!

disclaimer: if you disagree or otherwise dislike who i have picked for your matchup, please don't get mad at me lmao... this is all just silly fun, it doesn't mean anything <3 and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask!

[zafirosreverie]

Little furry friend (Bruno x F!Reader) part 2

For @hectic-hector (ily 💕)

Part 1

-----------------

"Julieta!! Do something about your sister!!"

The healer sighed and rolled her eyes fondly before turning to see Pepa effortlessly carrying Bruno into the kitchen. She knew that her brother justified that with the weight loss he had while living in the walls, but the three of them knew that Pepa had always had incredible strength and that she could lift both of them on each arm without breaking a sweat.

"Julieta!! Tell your brother to stop being a crybaby!!"

"I'm not a crybaby!"

"Yes you are!"

"Julieta!!"

"Okay, that's enough" the older one said, trying not to laugh at Bruno's pout when Pepa sat him down in a chair "what's going on?"

"Your sister is a nightmare"

"Your brother is an airhead"

"...okay, something else I don't already know?"

"HEY!!"

Julieta laughed at her siblings’ expressions and rolled her eyes again. Sometimes it was exhausting mediating their fights, but she truly loved them with all of her being and wouldn't have them any other way, no matter how many gray hairs they gave her in a day (definitely more than the six grandchildren combined).

"And you're supposed to be the good triplet?" Pepa crossed her arms with a pout.

"I always said that we should be careful with her, she has a mischievous glint in her eyes" Bruno whispered to the redhead

"So it's against me now?" the older one said, putting her hands on her hips "two seconds ago you were arguing for god knows what"

"oh yeah! You're right"

"Oh no, did you have to remind her?"

Bruno growled when a rainbow invaded the kitchen and Pepa got a little closer to her older sister, taking her by the hand like an excited child. It was always funny how Pepa could change her mood so quickly, especially when she was with her siblings, when she felt safe from being judged. But it wasn't as funny when he was the victim of her plans.

"Let's invite Y/N to dinner!"

"What?"

"We are NOT going to invite her to dinner, Pepa!"

"Why not? You already spend all day with her anyway, Bruno"

"It's different!"

"Why?!"

"Because you are not there to try anything"

"Excuse me?!" the redhead thundered "well sorry but someone has to take the next step if you're not going to do it yourself"

"There is no next step, Pepa, we are just friends!"

Julieta sighed again and pinched the bridge of her nose as her siblings returned to a heated discussion that must have started long before they entered the kitchen. She could understand Bruno's anger or concern, and would usually agree with him that things should happen on their own.

The thing was, this time, she was on Pepa's side. It had been months since you showed up at the house with Bruno's rat in your hand and the whole family had been surprised at how well you got along with him. She had to admit that like her sister, she felt quite betrayed that he hadn't told them about you sooner, but she understood that he had a right to his privacy as well.

And if she was honest with herself, she was relieved at how well you treated her little brother. It wasn't common for townspeople to associate with him of their own free will, even after the candle fiasco, but you didn't seem to have any problem, you were kind to him, you treated him as an equal, and you were even one of the few people he felt comfortable enough about physical contact with.

Of course, the nervous mess he was when you were around him, or the blush that would always come over his face when you smiled at him, or the goofy smile he had all the time when you talked to him, didn't go unnoticed either. Dolores even confirmed that his heart raced every time he saw you or someone said your name. It was obvious to everyone that Bruno Madrigal was completely in love with Y/N Y/L/N, and would be cute, if it wasn't for him refusing to do anything about it.

Her brother was already exhausting the family's patience and even Casita had tried to intervene (which is why Bruno chose to go to your house instead of having you visit them). Julieta was really beginning to consider that they would have to take that step for him.

She snapped out of her thoughts when Pepa's thunder began to get louder. The kitchen began to be filled with black clouds and if she didn’t intervene soon, all her effort would be wasted due to the rain. However, she did not have time to do something when you popped your head through the window, with a small rat on your shoulder.

"Hi Juli!" You said, always smiling "What are you doing?"

Months ago, it would not even have occurred to you to be so open with her, but after the kind reception that the whole family had made, you could not help but feeling comfortable and happy every time you approached Casita.

"These two, always fighting" she returned the smile

"For the last arepa again?"

"No" she laughed, remembering the time Pepa almost threw a knife to Bruno when he took the last arepa, although she quickly calmed down when she saw that he had taken it for you "for something that Pepa wants Bruno to do"

"Ohhhh" you said, with curiosity in your eyes "What thing?"

She was about to answer when Antonio suddenly entered the kitchen. The boy smiled widely as soon as he saw you and ran to greet you. After Bruno, Madrigal's youngest son was the one who more time spent with you.

"Hello Y/N!"

"Hey Buddy!" You answered "Long time no seeing you"

"Yes, you didn't come for three days!" he pouted

"I'm sorry, I had things to do in the carpentry" you apologized

You did not even notice that the black clouds had disappeared, or that the Madrigal triplets were looking at you with curiosity, kindness and nervousness.

"It's okay" Antonio smiled at you "is just that the animals began to ask me where Uncle Bruno's girlfriend was" he shrugged

You felt your cheeks turning red, and you quickly looked where the seer was, a few steps behind his nephew. He did not look better than you, on the contrary, he looked pale and two seconds of fainting, while his sisters smirked and tried to hide their laughs behind their hands, although the rainbow that filled the room betrayed the redhead.

If you were honest, the idea itself was not bad. Actually, you had long accepted your feelings for the younger triplet, even if you didn’t plan to do something about it because you did not think the man returned your feelings. But now, seeing him so red and nervous, you committed to question it.

"S-she’s not my g-girlfriend" Bruno stuttered, resisting the impulse to hide with the hood of his Ruana

"She's not?" Antonio asked innocently

"No, I'm not" you replied

For a moment that seemed frozen in time, you could feel the eyes of the three adults on you, Pepa seemed disappointed, Julieta contained her breath and Bruno looked really defeated. That was what made you take a risk.

"Toñito, your uncle and I share Sebastián, remember?" you said gently

"Yeah?"

"That means we have a child together" you smiled with malice when you heard the triplets gasps "I am not his girlfriend, I am his wife"

"W-what?!"

Pepa and Julieta laughed at their brother's complete shock, and you couldn't help noticing how adorable it was. But then, as if he was a statue, he fell backwards, harshly hitting against the ground.

".... ooops" you said.

[bailey-dreamfoot]

Hermitcraft Incorrect Quotes Compilation! [But its mostly Grian, Mumbo, and Scar]

I generated these a a while ago, they’ve been sitting in my drafts unfinished for like months. There's some references to ships incuded, as well as *slightly* suggestive lines and jokes, but nothing explicit, obviously.

------------------------

Mumbo, setting down a card: Ace of spades.

Grian, pulling out an Uno card: +4.

Scar, plling out a Pokeon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

Iskall, trebling: What are we playing?!

------------------------

Pearl: Iskall, you're such a genius!

Iskall: Yes, I know.

------------------------

Grian and Mumbo: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Grian: We need an adult!

Mumbo: Grian, you are an adult!

Grian: We need an adultier adult! Get Iskall!

------------------------

Scar: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Mumbo: Oh, you've been?

Scar: Once. In Monopoly.

------------------------

Grian: Sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing voices.

Grian: Then I remember that's the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

------------------------

Scar: Are You having another depressive episode?

Grian: A depressive episode?

Grian: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

------------------------

Grian: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Scar's birthday invitations.

Mumbo: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Grian: "Scar's Birthday" .

Mumbo: So what do they say instead?

Grian: "Scar's Bi" .

Mumbo:

Mumbo: Works out either way.

------------------------

Mumbo: You saved me! Why?

Grian: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

------------------------

Mumbo: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I'll find it along the way.

------------------------

Grian, about Scar: They're speaking in some kind of French.

Mumbo: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

------------------------

Mumbo, holding a fork: You know, you're talking a lot of shit for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each selling for about $16,000 on the blackmerket.

Iskall: ....

Mumbo: *lip smack*

------------------------

Grian: Something's off.

Scar: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

Grian: No, but that's funny.

------------------------

Scar: I mean- Grian's just standing there now.

Scar: Waiting for me I guess.

Scar: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settles down.

Mumbo: Settled Down?

Scar: Well, they only stabbed me once.

------------------------

Mumbo, Grian and Scar: *screaming*

Iskall: *runs into the room* What's wrong Scar?

Mumbo: Wait, why are you asking Scar that when Grian and I are also here?

Iskall: Because Scar wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

------------------------

Grian: *running towards Mumbo with open arms*

Mumbo: *moves out of the way*

Grian: Hey, why'd you move?!

Mumbo: I thought you were going to attack me.

Grian: I was going to hug you!

Mumbo: Why would you hug me?

Grian: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

------------------------

Mumbo: Would you slap Grian-

Pearl: Yes.

Mumbo: I didn't even finish!

Pearl: Sorry, continue.

Mumbo: Would you slap Grian for 10 dollars?

Pearl: I would do it for free.

Grian: Rude...

------------------------

Grian: Is something burning?

Mumbo, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you~

Grian: Mumbo, the toaster is literally on fire.

------------------------

Iskall: *Locks Grian in the car* Act like a child, get treated like a child.

Grian: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in the car?

------------------------

Iskall: How would you like your coffee?

Mumbo: As dark and bitter as my soul.

Iskall, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

------------------------

Mumbo: Did Grian just tell e they loved me for the first time?

Scar: Yeah, they did.

Mumbo: And did I just do finger guns back?

Scar: Yeah, you did.

------------------------

Mumbo, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my jacket?

Iskall: Grian's in the kitchen.

------------------------

Grian: I'm gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of expresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions at once.

------------------------

Iskall: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

------------------------

Mumbo: You borrowed a crane?

Grian: Not exactly.

Iskall: You stole a crane?!

Grian: Exactly.

(This one fits so well with Grian’s fisherman hut its not even funny)

------------------------

Grian: I think it's time to start fucking some shit up.

Mumbo: Oh no.

Grian: More like "oh yes!"

------------------------

Grian: You played me!

Iskall: Like the cheap kazoo you are!

------------------------

Mumbo: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag.

Pearl: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

------------------------

Scar: I am the most responsible person in the group.

Mumbo: …You just set the kitchen on fire.

Scar: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.

------------------------

Mumbo, looking at a selfie of Iskall’s: I hate this photo.

Iskall: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly.

Mumbo: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something.

Iskall: Up to kindness.

------------------------

Hopefully yall enjoyed that :3

[wol-fica]

Hey…

It’s been a minute, hasn’t it?

I know a lot of you have probably wondered where i’ve been, and if you haven’t well here i am!

Life has been…something…good and bad.

School has been taking a toll on me, classes left and right that have blended my brain into an incoherent slush. Thats one of the unfortunate parts of collage, it just takes up so much time.

I want to list some reasons i’ve been gone, just so you all understand what’s been going on.

1.) School, like i said above, it’s just tedious and time consuming, so i never have time to actually sit down and work on something new or old. School work, projects, all of it; it’s large and extensive, and very very tiring.

2.) My relationship! I’ve had a girlfriend for almost 4 months now, and it’s been so incredibly wonderful. She’s so sweet, funny, caring, loving, and just someone that I love so much and click with so easily.

3.) Motivation. I know writers always complain about writers block and having lack of creativity to go and write, but this feels a bit different for me. Writing has been such a beautiful art to take part in, painting a canvas of stories for the world to read. I’ve loved it for so long, but now there’s just not the spark it has anymore.

In the past, i would use writing as an escape, a way to just create more and more and more ideas that formulate in my brain, wether that be smut or romance, drama or angst, it was a way for me to leave the world behind. I enjoyed every second of it, creating it, writing it, producing it, seeing you all react to it, it brought me so much joy.

But…

That love for writing has fallen away from me. I don’t find myself enjoying it anymore, it feels more like a chore to try and write a story, and that frustration killed the spark that came with writing on this platform and everywhere else.

Now, let me specify that this is not me saying that any of you ruined it for me, quite the contrary! I love love love love you all so fucking much, you’re such beautiful people who have stuck with me and will probably be amazing fanfic writers too (if you pursue it)!

So, this is my farewell!

I’ve decided to be formally done with writing, and this account will either be left as a ghost acc, or handed of to someone who will use it and make something out of it (haven’t decided on that yet, but i’ve been thinking of offering it up) If you’re interested in writing, and you want to start somewhere strong, or if you’re someone who wants the followers, DM me! I’d be happy to give this acc away to someone! (who will use it and treat it right of course)

Anyways, thank you, for giving me that beauty, that wonderful light with writing. I love you all so much, and I can’t wait to see what you will all do! Keep writing, keep reading, keep inspiring, keep doing what you do best, keep being yourself.

“Hustle in silence, let your success make the noise.”

Sincerely - Wolfi <3

[moonlitlex]

i have so much to say abt chalice of the gods so im just gonna copy paste my review from goodreads here. you can also read it on goodreads

ok. i promised i would hate this book. and i do. i hate this book. i also hate rick riordan. in addition, i hate capitalism. i promise that’s relevant.

let’s talk about the book now. i’ll cover the things i love first. i love percy jackson. i love grover. i love annabeth. i love sally. i love paul. i love percy annabeth and grover together. all of these things are very obvious and self-explanatory. percy is hands down THE main character of all time. i have nothing bad to say about him. his literal fatal flaw is loyalty. he’s actually perfect and has no flaws. this is expected from the son of sally jackson, the perfect person. paul is sweet and kind to sally and that’s really all that matters. annabeth is awesome and supportive and so is grover and they’re all besties forever. you get it. you’ve read percy jackson.

the jokes are better than before. there are definitely some legitimately funny jokes in this book, which i was really missing from the last few rick riordan installments. and i don’t think this is because rick suddenly got funnier. i think it’s because this style of joke works for percy. of all of rick’s protagonists, percy seems the most natural fit for these jokes.

sally is great. grover and annabeth are generally on form. so is percy, as much as can be expected from rick riordan at this point. i will elaborate on this later.

now to complain. this is the stupidest premise i’ve ever heard of. percy is a high school senior. he is going to go to new rome university. he needs 3 divine recommendations. this is already a stupid premise but don’t worry, it gets worse. poseidon reveals that the reason percy needs these recommendations is that it’s a special requirement for him specifically made by zeus. and the reason he gets to have this stupid requirement is that he’s a child of the big three and shouldn’t exist.

hello. zeus. yes, lord zeus, it’s me. alexis.

what the absolute FUCK are you saying.

this doesn’t MAKE SENSE. the only reason percy shouldn’t have existed was that the gods had a stupid pact to not have any kids because of a stupid prophecy. two things here. one - that prophecy is OVER. everything turned out fine. thanks to percy jackson. you’re welcome, gods of olympus. two - percy has literally saved olympus TWICE now. two times. this is genuinely such a dumb and made up reason to send percy on a quest that i can’t even turn my brain off and enjoy it. it’s not fun. leave percy alone. LEAVE HIM ALONE.

it’s literally insane how stupid this setup is. rick keeps writing books about how the gods are horrible and take advantage of the demigods and the demigods live terrible lives. in this book, percy has LITERALLY saved olympus TWICE and motherfucking zeus (literally) had to be talked down from making him get 25 letters of recommendation to 3. this is AFTER percy spent 3 years in pjo almost being killed and got his memory wiped for 6-8 months depending on which book you read in hoo and then got sent on a quest to save the entire world AGAIN. this CHILD got like a 2-4 month break (depending on which book you’re reading) and he woke up with no fucking memory and had to spend like 2 more months fighting monsters and the literal primordial earth goddess. and now he has to go on literally pointless quests that someone who didn’t just get back home from saving the actual world could ALSO just do. because he needs to get some fucking letters of recommendation.

look. genuinely. percy jackson should snap at this point in the story. this boy should’ve snapped like at least 5 books ago. at minimum. rick wrote the perfect setup to show us percy’s instant descent into madness. he should LOSE it. all the gods have done for the ENTIRE time he’s known he’s a demigod is treat demigods like disposable tools. this is the point in the story where percy goes. wow. luke was right. you guys are all assholes who don’t care about us even a little bit. i am NOT saying what needs to follow is a fanfic-esque dark!percy story where he successfully destroys olympus or something. what i AM saying. is at bare minimum this is where percy goes you know what fuck you i hate you guys and washes his hands of being a demigod at least temporarily. at the very least he should sit back and think yeah, i don’t really want to go to new rome university. it’s not worth it. i will just go to a different university. look. it’s percy jackson. he can literally one shot all but the most fearsome monsters (typhon, the giants, a drakon, etc). he is literally going to be 100% completely fine going to mortal university AND he wont have to deal with zeus’s annoying ass.

listen. MY percy jackson wanted to kill smelly gabe as a 12 year old because he abused his mother. MY percy jackson doesn’t like bullies. MY percy jackson challenged ares to a fight just on the basis that ares was a fucking asshole.

MY percy jackson is not going on useless fucking quests to go to new rome university of all places.

which reminds me. why DOES he want to go to new rome university. this is percy jackson. he LOVES new york. why is percy “what did they do to my city” jackson going to university ACROSS THE COUNTRY from the city he loves. why is he doing that. and hey look. sally and paul (and soon estelle) are ALSO going to be in new york. so like WHY is he leaving for real. percy my fatal flaw is loyalty jackson. IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE OK! it’s percy he is seriously not going to have issues with common monsters attacking him. we literally saw him fight off titans and giants a fucking hellhound isn’t gonna get his ass. WHY is he leaving. it does NOT make sense.

there’s this scene ok. where sally tells them she’s pregnant. and percy’s like oh my god…. i’m going to be in california…. and my sister is going to be here…. and i was just sitting there going. yeah bro. why are you going to california. i literally do not understand. you literally are from nyc. you live here. your family is here. your friends from chb are like a short pegasus ride away. there are like 50 universities in new york. just go here. why are you leaving. you are percy jackson. being a new yorker is literally one of your defining traits. stay here. WHY AR EYOU LEAVING I DO NOT UNDERSTAND PERSEUS

and listen. if your argument is that annabeth is going to be in nru. why the FUCK is ANNABETH going to nru!!!!! WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT!!!! EXPLAIN IT!!!! percy LITERALLY says annabeth is such an overachiever she’s already run out of ap classes to take. he literally says that. why the fuck is this girl going to nru where let’s be real her admission is guaranteed. annabeth is 100% someone who would want to go to an ivy. and would you fucking believe it there’s an ivy right here in nyc. like let’s be fucking realistic here. annabeth started her architecture career at SIXTEEN designing the city the fucking GODS live in. so like. don’t you think she’d want to be a bit more challenged. don’t you think she’d want to go to a university that is actually recognizable to mortals. annabeth did NOT love new rome that much like did richard forget what he wrote. this girl was freaking out about new rome until percy said he only likes it because they could live together there. she literally does not care about new rome and she is WAY too ambitious and academically inclined to be happy with going to some small as uni 99% of employers have never heard of.

this isn’t even the worst character assassination in the book. that award goes to the way rick wrote percy. percy. my darling percy. my beloved percy. perseus jackson. light of my life. as i said before, he is MOSTLY on form. the him really wanting to cali thing is definitely ooc for him but it is NOTHING compared to the sheer amount of times rick portrays percy as stupid in this accursed novel. his internal monologue is constantly shit like i’m always so behind annabeth and omg i’m being so dumb right now and annabeth calls me seaweed brain because i’m an idiot and blah blah fucking blah.

dick riordan has forgotten that perseus jackson is, in fact, not stupid at all. he is INCREDIBLY clever. he is just not particularly academically inclined/not very book smart and it would also be perfectly understandable given the fucking books that riordan wrote to interpret that as percy being very discouraged from engaging with his studies. he genuinely enjoys chiron’s class at yancy because chiron is an engaging teacher and encourages him. he spends 90% of his time in pjo deducing what’s going on with extremely limited information because rick decided none of the characters can tell him anything because of plot and exposition reasons. in son of neptune he literally just coasts on having sherlockian (not bbc that’s a whole other angry review) powers of deduction. to the point where the characters around him are amazed at how he’s figuring stuff out. literally in house of hades annabeth’s pov’s are constantly her commenting on how she gives percy shit for being a dumbass but he’s actually really clever.

it genuinely feels like at some point during the writing of mark of athena rick decided to just slowly start making various fanon ideas canon. percy being stupid is very commonly accepted fanon because he doesn’t realize how smart he is (and fans don’t realize he’s an unreliable narrator) and the fans also love to infantilize characters with more in your face adhd (leo is another victim of this phenomenon). we’ve spent 5 books in percy’s head and he doesn’t think he’s particularly clever so it makes sense to ignore the mountains of evidence pointing towards his quick and creative thought process in favour of haha percy is dumb jokes.

the wild thing is, percy isn’t even that hard on himself in pjo. he obviously doesn’t see himself in the same way we later come to find out other people see him (mainly thinking about hazel and frank in son of neptune, which is the only time in hoo he genuinely feels like the same character as pjo percy) but he’s not really dealing with crazy self doubt and self esteem issues. he does have his down on himself moments but they’re all extremely understandable given the context because he literally faces impossible odds in every single pjo book. at one point he’s disappointed he couldn’t tell that ares and luke manipulated him… like yes bestie that’s a very valid thing to feel upset and betrayed about. it doesn’t mean that he’s actually stupid though and genuinely he comes across more as humble and not realizing just how awesome and cool and interesting he is than anything else. percy consistently shows that he is really clever. half of pjo is percy figuring out a new and interesting way of defeating his enemies and the other half is percy figuring out how to bait his enemies into a duel to improve his odds. it’s horrible what rick does to percy in his internal monologue.

it’s to an insane degree. yes i realize i have already written 500 words about percy not being stupid alone but i must stress how egregious this is. it’s literally characters who have previously acknowledged percy’s intelligence who start remarking about how he’s stupid. in house of hades percy and annabeth get out of fucking TARTARUS and reyna makes a jab about how percy wouldn’t be able to find his way out of a paper bag without annabeth. that is an INSANE thing to say for reyna and for rick. rick has not written a stupid character so it’s weird to make that something a character does without really trying to show them being wrong. from reyna’s perspective, this is a guy she was complimenting a few short weeks ago. this is a guy she immediately wanted to make a leader at the camp that she loves and is her home. this is guy she barely knows and she pretty much immediately proposes to him. WHY would she suddenly start making jokes about how dumb he is? it’s not like she actually knows him better now. he came to the battle with reinforcements and basically immediately dipped after the feast. how are we to accept reyna treating our beloved perseus in this horrific manner? we simply cannot. it is unnacceptable. this is inaccurate.

it’s so WRONG to do this to percy. yES I UNDERSTAND I HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR TOO LONG. I DON’T CARE. PERCY JACKSON IS MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE AND I NEED TO DEFEND HIM FROM THIS SLANDER. I AM ONLY PARTIALLY JOKING. listen. liSTEN. this is the guy whose signature move is manipulate your enemy into dueling with you when you’re outnumbered or outmatched. he very coolly manipulated bob into killing his own brother (btw this was very hot and sexy and clever and attractive perseus is king of gaslight gatekeep girlboss). he is NOT stupid. he is impulsive. he is extremely oblivious about some things. he is NOT stupid. i watched perseus jackson grow up for 5 books and he is not stupid. i always say this. i always say that percy is not stupid and richard riordan refuses to listen to me.

there are such horrendous lines as “i am a guy of limited talents. if i can’t kill it with water, a sword, or sarcasm, i’m basically defenseless.” richard how DARE you say this about my beloved perseus. he is NEVER like this. he literally would never say that. even at absolute worst percy’s internal monologue was “this plan is stupid and will get us killed. but it’s the plan i have.” he’s NOT a being defenseless guy. what hte fuck are you saying. richard did you read your own books. RICHARD. DID YOU. at one point he says that he is constantly several steps behind annabeth’s thought process. he has literally never thought this before and it is also untrue. richard. i hate you. read your own fucking books oh my god.

ok. i think i have sufficiently harped on the fact that percy is not stupid. now i will complain about another thing. and this was just in one part but it bothered me and this is my review so i get to talk about whatever i want. if you don’t like it read someone else’s review. don’t hate read my review. i didn't charge you money to read it

at one point, percy has to wrestle a god who hercules once wrestled. and annabeth says something about hercules brute forcing it. and look. i GET that hercules was freakishly strong. i get that. i understand it. but when annabeth says hercules just brute forced it they’re both like ah shit i can’t do that. perseus. beloved. you ripped the minotaurs horn off its head with your bare hands as a 12 year old with no training. you are literally insanely strong as is. that is an insane thing for a 12 year old to be able to do. hell, that would be an insane thing for a grown adult to do. i don’t think rick realizes how op percy is. he was so caught up in making percy cool (which is, you know, extremely understandable and right and correct percy jackson is the coolest man in fiction for a reason i get it) that he forgot that he made percy extremely unbelievably powerful too. with the curse of achilles he was potentially matching minor gods in power level. he fights while sustaining mini-hurricanes and explodes glaciers and shit.

some more things. the prose is… acceptable. the plot reads like a fever dream. there is a smoothie shop called himbo juice that annabeth percy and grover are evidently regulars at. and there are. himbos. that serve. juice. so you can imagine what this fever dream looks like. like the last couple rick riordan releases, this one reads like published fanfiction too, just with better quality of writing than the sun and the star.

there are some WEIRD continuity errors in here. one of them is fairly minor but i still noticed it - percy says his father compared his mother to a princess. this is not true. poseidon compared sally to a queen. specifically, he called her “a queen among women”. i know this because i am sally jackson’s number 1 fan.

more egregiously, however, is annabeth’s yankees cap heebie jeebies. percy puts on annabeths’s cap and gets the heebie jeebies while using it. and then he goes wow annabeth. you never told me that using the cap is like this. and annabeth is like yeah well. power is like that. richard. riordan. did you fucking FORGET that percy has, in fact, worn annabeth’s cap before. and it was literally completely. once again, richard, did you read your own books.

one more good thing - when percy fights geras/gary, who is the god/personification of old age, the way he does it is by imagining him and his friends getting older and embracing it. this was a genuinely good and sweet moment and it was very touching. the trio’s talks about this after the fact are also absolutely a return to form from riordan. for like, a few paragraphs. but still.

the biggest problem is just how obvious it is that this book is a cash grab. we had pjo. then we had a sequel series. then we had ANOTHER sequel series. and now we’re getting random standalone novels that are extremely unnecessary and don’t add anything. rick riordan has dollar signs in his eyes. these are not stories that make sense. these are not stories rick genuinely wanted to tell. these are stories that are being told because the purpose of publishing books now is to maximize profit. (sidebar - i told you the capitalism thing would be relevant. you should believe me more often. smh) the only reason rick is still writing these books is that they make money. they feel extremely empty and hollow.

percy is trapped as a teenager forever because rick refuses to let him age up. percy accepting old age would make FAR more sense for a percy who’s in his 20’s and just now realizing that he lived past all the shit he thought was going to kill him and he has a real life that he likes and he could actually grow old now. but percy must be a child for marketing purposes, so he stays a child. the world itself is trapped in a cycle of the gods promising they’ll be better and the gods literally not changing at all. and for the sake of the book series, it can’t change. if we had real change in the world, that would actually mean something, silly. we can’t have consequences. we have to reset every 5 years like a fucking comic book so that we can make infinite money. this is the infinite money glitch irl. just make trash that doesn’t need to be made. the end point of capitalism is making trash no one asked for that has no artistic merit just because you can make money off of it.

by the way, dr emily wilson’s iliad translation, which was also out on the same day, is LESS expensive than this book. this cashgrab nonsense novel is MORE expensive than a book a professor in classics who has a phd spent 4 years on. this is just wrong. the fun and stupid cashgrab book should NOT be more expensive than a book that someone spent 4 years meticulously translating from ancient greek. it’s just so clear and in your face. trials of apollo absolutely felt like a cashgrab but at least there was SOME semblance of effort there. this is literally just the most plain and simple cashgrab novel you can make.

hey. you know the infinite monkey theorem? the infinite monkey theorem is that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type any given text including shakespeare. richard riordan is a monkey with a typewriter. you get it. you’ve read percy jackson.

rick riordan struck gold with pjo. it’s genuinely to this day one of my favourite things i’ve ever read, flaws and all. it’s FUN. it’s COOL. it’s THEMATICALLY COHESIVE. the characters grow and change. they feel like real people with personalities. it literally doesn’t even matter how op percy is because THAT’S how good of a character he is. he is so compelling that you want to read about him anyway even though you can tell right from the minotaur fight that this kid can decimate whatever opponent he has. the books are funny and moving because you can genuinely connect to these characters. the more i read rick riordan’s work, the more certain i am that pjo was a fluke. i don’t think he knows what he’s doing. i think he should retire from writing.

unfortunately for me, richard riordan seems to have no intention of retiring. he has announced another percy jackson book that will be released next year. i assume there will be at least 2 more books based on the setup in this one.

rick. listen. i know you’re listening because what else will you do with your time. rick, why are you doing this. hasn’t percy been through enough. when will it end. give it a rest. stop it. get some help. at the very least, read your own books before writing percy. i am right about him and you are wrong about him. you are the author and i’m killing you right now. i am strangling you and i am hitting you with weapons. all at once. i am very proficient at causing deaths. (this is a metaphor referring to roland barthes’ death of the author. i wish no bodily harm to richard riordan).

this book is… alright. percy is my smart king. sally jackson is queen of my heart. it’s a fun read but you do have to turn your brain off completely and read through some serious percy defamation.

[edit: i am downgrading this book to one star (was at 2). the more i think about it, the more angry i am. there is literally a paragraph tailor made to rub jason's death in our faces. it's about how he looks forward to getting old being married to piper and having grandchildren. it's a very low blow. jason is literally rick riordan's biggest missed opportunity and he's rubbing in how poorly he treated jason even after killing him off for apollo's character development.

annabeth still keeps putting percy down because rick doesn't realize how mean she is i guess. she's still scared of him. canonically. which is a really weird and fucked up thing to write imo. this relationship doesn't seem healthy in canon (they are healthy in my head, however, because i know what women are like) but rick refuses to address it or let them break up. i LOVE annabeth. i love her. but she is an extremely flawed character and rick never treats her as such. and it just makes it exhausting to read about her.

percy IS on form but it genuinely feels like he's tlt percy, not post hoo percy. his inner voice sounds way more immature than it has for most of pjo and in son. riordan also repurposes the "look, i didn't want to be a half-blood" line from tlt to make a dumb little joke about how high school is hard. it was a GOOD opening line. it immediately set the tone and told us so much about percy in literally just a handful of words. now it's a joke about how being a senior in high school sucks. it's this mcu-esque allergy to being sincere that pjo never had.

there is BARELY any grover in this book. i love grover so much that i was cheering any time he was there, but there is very little of him. he's in like 2 or 3 scenes and has his own side plot going on with juniper and being bad at understanding what his girlfriend wants or whatever. extremely unnecessary and not what i want for grover. this book kind of ends up feeling like it's about annabeth but from percy's perspective. she gets good moments at percy's expense. percy spends the book monologuing about how annabeth is way smarter than him and all he has is his sick ass water powers and the best swordfighting skill in 300 years, both of which are very downplayed. percy explodes a river and it's treated like this crazy freaky scary thing but two years ago in universe he made a volcano erupt and everyone was like yeah this makes sense percy is that powerful. in son he explodes a glacier and it's just a normal tuesday for him. he literally doesn't even react to it. and now we're supposed to believe his exploding and purifying a river feat is some unbelievable feat.]

in conclusion, i want a refund. no i did not purchase this book. however, i would like to be reimbursed about $5000 in emotional damages. i will also be suing richard riordan for defamation on percy’s behalf. good night new york city. and my beloved perseus jackson who lives in new york city.

[blubushie]

It's bitching hour I see, don't mind if I join! A lot of the TF2 fandom (mostly just Tumblr/Twitter parts of it) seem to be huge pussies about shipping. There has been talk about straight Pauling ships already and this falls under it too. TF2 fans on here seem to just fear being slightly unconventional with ships, no age gap more than 5 years or so, only the three most popular ships or else eat dirt, no straight Pauling ships, what do you mean bi people exist? It's stupid. You like a ship that isn't fucking red Octoberfest? Starve! Nobody will write or draw anything for this pair for months! Like a ship that's slightly controversial within the fandom like basically any pairing with an age gap, classcest, M/F Pauling ship, anything with pyro in it (also dear god this fandom treats pyro like an uwu baby that doesn't know sex when the guys a full grown pyromaniac with a job! He's mentally ill not a fucking child!! Sorry for side tangent) will get your head stuck on a pike ffs. I remember when I joined I really liked the popular/non problematic ships too but the attitudes of some people smh. TF2 side of Tumblr please get a bit more open minded with what you ship or just leave the people who ship unconventional shit alone. I know there's a line that 90% of the fandom won't cross and it's for a good reason imo (talking about incest ships here) but a relationship with an age gap of more than 10 years is not on the other side of that line, have fun and explore silly relationships with these fictional characters for once!! Let me have my toxic yaoi and toxic yuri in peace :(

Also I'm sorry about putting this long thing in your ask box, this escalated quickly

Agreed fully and also I'm gonna say something that's gonna rustle a lot of feathers–

People love SniperSpy. It's generally accepted that Spy is somewhere in his 50s to 60s, judging off Scout's age alone, and with SniperSpy he's sleeping with someone three years older than his own son.

And there is a absolutely nothing wrong with this when both parties are consenting adults. What I have an issue with is that I've seen a lot of people who ship SniperSpy then get on the arse of MedicScout shippers because Scout is "too young" for Medic.

My question is why? Why is it ok to ship Sniper, at 30, with Spy, a man at least 20 years older than him, but it's not alright to do the same with Scout, who's 27, and Medic, who's probably about 20 years older than him? Why is that? Why do you have an issue with one and not the other?

And it comes down to two things:

1. People think Scout looks too young. Which, I'm sorry, but at someone who's 5'2" and looks about 16-18 at all times (depending on whether or not I shave) despite being 23, fuck you. You do not get to decide if someone's physical appearance is "mature enough" when that person is a fucking adult. Get fucked.

2. Ableism. Scout is notoriously immature and often acts like a teenage. HE IS ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OLD. Maturity/behaviour ≠ age and the funny part is that these are the same people who tell you not to infantilise autistic people for perceived immaturity but then go on and infantilise A MAN WHO IS ALMOST THIRTY because he acts immature. Practise what you preach or get fucked.

People NEVER do this with Sniper and I'm not sure if it's because Sniper looks like he's 40 or because he acts like he's 40. But I'm inclined to think it's the latter, because people often do this with Pyro too as Pyro also often acts childlike.

So hey, if you do this, check yourself. Cuz you're probably being ableist. Ask yourself why exactly you think an almost thirty year old man can't have a romantic or sexual relationship with a man older than him when they're both mercenaries on a team of hired killers who kill people and break things FOR A LIVING. Are you normal about neurodivergent people? No, are you really?

[moonlightazriel]

Slow dancing in the dark /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: She was everything i was not, seeing him falling in love with her was too much to bear.

Warnings: Angst just pure angst

Word Count: 1,2K

Note: I was a little bit sad when i made this so i'm sorry folks. Nothing against Elain though. Part 2

Main Masterlist

Ever since i can remember, Azriel and i were best friends, and i was probably in love with him for the same amount of time. The problem is that there was always a better female that caught his attention, first was Mor, i couldn't blame her, even if she was my friend, i still felt insecure and compared myself to her.

I was always there for him, whenever he wanted to complain about how unfair it was that she would choose Cassian when he was just there to love her the way she deserved. The funny part is that i used to think the same, but never got the courage to tell him anything.

Things got way worse when the Archeron sisters came into our lives, Nesta and Feyre were nice to me and i liked them, but Elain never liked me, even when i tried to be nice to her, she would dismiss me like i wasn’t worth of her attention. My heart broke when he started hanging out with her, i noticed how he would open up to her, how his eyes seemed to shine harder when he saw her, he would even allow her to touch his hands. She always made sure that i was near when she did these kind of things with him.

I decided that it was for the best if i just pulled my feelings aside,i would often find excuses to not be alone with them, nor being near them if i could avoid. He noticed my absence, i knew he did, but he ended up not trying to get in touch with me anymore, we just drifted apart. The rest of the inner circle tried to cheer me up, but nothing worked, i guess broken hearts are not easily fixed.

Mor spent the whole week trying to get me out of my home, she didn't stop until i agreed to go to Rita’s on friday. She showed up at my door early, to get me out of my misery, “ You should show him what he’s missing”, i just brushed her off when she said that, how could i compete with Elain? Her sweet and innocent personality, her brown hair and eyes, her angelic features. My face didn't looked as good as hers, and i wasn’t as nice as her, years of fighting and traumas led me to be a more introverted person than i would like to be.

Mor made me shower, while she got her things ready, she made me try on some dresses until i found one i liked, i end up choosing a deep black dress, with a flowy skirt with i slit on the side that showed a little to much skin, the upper half holded my frame perfectly, the thin straps flowed in a v-neckline, for the first time in months i felt pretty. She straightened my hair and for the make up, only a little bit of mascara, an elaborated eyeliner and red lips.

“You look hot.” Mor said, she was standing behind me, she looked perfect, her hair in waves, dark make up and a velvet black dress hugging every part of her body. She winnow us inside the night club, pulling me towards our usual table, everyone looked at me, Nesta was the first one to get up and hug me.

“I'm glad you're here, you look stunning.” She held me tightly, i could feel the tension in the air as the rest shared worried glares with each other. The air got stuck in my lungs and i felt a lump forming on my throat when i heard his voice behind me.

“Hey everybody.” The same awkward tone he always used when in public, turning to face him, i noticed how she was clinging onto him, my heart shattered once again in my chest and i had to force a smile. “OH, hi Y/N. I wasn't expecting seeing you tonight.” The hurt in my chest grow to notice that he was treating me like a stranger, he was looking at me like i was someone else. Maybe i shouldn't be here.

“I convinced her to come, it’s not the same without her.” Mor said, pulling me closer to her. “Let’s grab something to drink!” Grabbing me by my hand, she directs us towards the bar. She ordered four shots and we drank them quickly before going to the dance floor. I wasn't going to let them ruin my night.

A couple of drinks later and a few dances i decided to sit down, forgetting about the two, only remembering when i approached the table, too close to turn around, i sitted, being the mature person. The silence was extremily uncomfortable, Az was in the other side of the table, across from me, his shadows reaching out for me, their phantom touch sending shivers through my spine, i really missed how they would get out their leash just to run to me whenever i got closer. Elain seemed to notice and rolled her eyes, i saw how she looked at me, a wicked grin on her lips as she called him, his head turning slowly in her direction, her hand flying to his face as she pulled him in for a kiss.

It was like the all the air on my lungs got knocked out as he broke the kiss, the guilty look on his face as he watched me and then it happened. They always described as the feeling of getting home, or breathing after a long time under the water, but for me it was like i was being held under water, my throat burns and i felt the tears gathering in the corner of my eyes, my body felt weird, like it wasn’t my own as i watched the golden thread, tying us together for eternity, the other side was empty and i assumed it just hadn’t snapped for him yet.

I needed fresh air before i passed out, rushing to get away from my mate and his lover, i didn’t even bother to say anything, but i still could hear her sacrcastic laughter and her pleads for him to stay. Aiming for the back door, i managed to reach it and i stumbled out, my legs felt weak and i felt like throwing up.

“I know i'm probably not the one you wanted to see right now, but please tell me whats wrong, you don’t talk to me anymore, don't even look in my direction, we’re best friends!” He said, clearly frustrated. The alley had barely any light, it was empty and cold, just like i felt inside.

“That’s the problem Azriel.” I said, looking at him, tears falling freely now and i couldn't care less. “I don't want a friend, i want my life in two, with you. I tried to deal with the fact that you probably would never feel the same, but i can’t stand it anymore, and that kiss only proved that i can’t be near you, that she enjoy watching me suffer, at first i didn't mind, thought that maybe i was crazy, but now i see that she does it on purpose, i can’t keep doing this, dancing alone with the ghost of what we used to be. I'm sorry.” My entire body felt numb, the only thing i was able to feel was the throbbing pain in my chest. I had to get out of here, his red face and broken expression was the last thing i saw before winnowing away.

[screemnch]

The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Bachelor Daniil Dankovsky

So uhhh.... Turns out my priorities aren't as messed up as I thought, which is why it took me a whole month just to finish this thing. Let's cover some basics shall we? The approximate structure will, depending on the length of this analysis, go as follows: I’m gonna tackle Patho Classic and the three healers from each other’s perspective, look at shared dialogue options and then talk about all the other important NPCs and how they interact with the playable characters. Since Patho 2 only has the Haruspex run, we’re gonna move through that a lot faster in a similar fashion, and then we’ll look over Marble Nest.

What I’m going to be focusing on: there’s a huge amount of dialogue between all the characters in the story, and I couldn’t possibly note down all the differences at once. I will mainly be trying to relay the “voice” of the character that is present in the original Russian version and noting the biggest differences. If there are also pieces of dialogue that shine a different light on a few story aspects, I will point these out too. Mainly I will talk about how the characters in these interactions seem to treat each other (which will be difficult, since opinions of characters change frequently in this game), note interesting mannerisms and sometimes quote the fun differences and try and fail to explain why the use of this specific idiom is funny in this context. Sooooo yeah.

The Bachelor

The Bachelor in the other characters’ campaigns is, as we all know, a drastically different character. Before I dive nose deep, I’m gonna establish what kind of impression we have of our English Bachelor, so we can compare and contrast things easily.

Daniil in the English version is, as we all know, a prickly prick. He speaks in a usually rather conceited manner, gets irritated with people easily and likes to throw in latin phrases at random points. He sees himself as smarter than everyone else which then in turn leads to him being manipulated by most people that he meets. He’s having a no good, very bad week and he will let people know about it. In the Haruspex campaign the “asshole” part of his character seems to be a bit diminished, and when watching him interact with Artemy, I almost saw something similar to… Respect? He even appeals to Artemy’s knowledge of the kin, as opposed to his own Capital beliefs, when asking him to save the Polyhedron. In the Changeling campaign the Bachelor’s prickly prick factor is ramped up to a hundred. He’s arrogant, talks down to Clara while also being heavily dependent on her and does his best to seem unaffected by all the shit hitting the fan.

Overall, he does give off an impression of a capital dandy that’s in way over his head in both campaigns, and has a very distinct voice and mannerisms. Partially I’d attribute that to the fact that the speech quirk of “randomly starts speaking latin like a pretentious asshole” was a rather easy thing to translate. So, what do we get when we meet the Bachelor in Russian?

As the Haruspex: Before I even discuss the tone, I want to set a little groundwork - although it might be something people already know if they're that deep into learning about an obscure Russian game. And that is - the use of “you” in the Russian language. Similar to German, we have two versions: formal and informal. 

The formal version - “вы” (vy - phonetics are difficult) - is used in Russian when referring to strangers, figures of authority, people older than you, people whom you respect, as well as a group of people.

The informal version - “ты” (ty - once again, phonetics are stupid) - is used when speaking to a friend, someone younger than you (like a child), someone you have no respect for, or someone you’re familiar with. Also family, even if they’re older. This being said, for 90% of the time in the Haruspex campaign, the Bachelor uses the informal “you” when speaking to Artemy. More on that as we get into the nitty gritty.

Dankovsky’s tone throughout this campaign is separated into 2 groups - before and after you receive a letter with his list of Bound, where he decides to dedicate himself to the Kain's cause and to saving the Polyhedron. I’m not sure if that is clearly visible in the English version - reading them side by side has blurred a lot of things for me, but it’s quite apparent in the Russian version. 

In terms of consistent mannerisms, there is one detail that I think doesn’t shine as well in English as it does in Russian. You’d think that our bachelor of medicine would speak in a very formal tone, using big boy words and scientific terms only. You would be wrong.

The Bachelor speaks in very “deliberate” sentences. It’s like he is trying to get all the possible clarifications out of the way, before getting to the point of the sentence. That doesn’t make him sound formal or anything. He uses diminutives and “rough” words every now and then, and doesn’t overcomplicate his sentences too much.When I say rough words, I don’t mean cussing, per se. In fact, other than the equivalent of “damn” (which literally translates into something like “imp”) Daniil doesn’t swear at all. Even when he calls the Haruspex a bastard in English, in Russian it’s a lot softer and more akin to “scoundrel.” Rough words, I guess, would be more like… “Lower-class” slang terms. I say lower-class because for a long time many words in Russia were considered to be unacceptable, since they were, or at least were reminiscent of, prison talk. The closest example I can think of in English is the way one person might say “making love” and another one might say “screwing.” Except in Russian, there are “rough” words for eating, going somewhere, etc. And the Bachelor, even though you’d expect him to be a high-strung formal ass, is very liberal with those words. This goes into contrast with what we get in the English version, where he seems to mostly use very formal language, except for a few moments of frustration.

In the first half of the Haruspex campaign, Daniil speaks in an overall warmer tone, starting out with what seems to be boundless enthusiasm. It’s only slightly mitigated by the frustration towards the townspeople. In English he sounds like he’s only frustrated, but in Russian it sounds like he’s frustrated because of how much he wants to help. He expresses a lot of his frustration by riddling his speech with tiny connector words, as if rushing the other person to respond. It’s like if there were a bunch of different alternatives to the word “then,” and you’d see him being like “Well tell me then, what, then, is this thing?” This creates an appearance of impatience, desperation, and helplessness. Which is what I imagine the player would feel at that time in the Bachelor run. Anyways, now onto the fun little details.

Everyone’s beloved “far be it from me to call myself a person of mystical inclinations...” line is, for the most part, pretty accurate. The biggest difference, from what I found, is in the first sentence itself. In Russian, it’s simply “Yes… Mystical feelings/sensations are alien/foreign to me.” Everything else is pretty much the same. Though, tone wise, the sheer presence of an informal “you” makes it a lot more personal. Instead of someone talking about an odd, otherworldly and foreboding feeling, the tone is more of a person bitterly commenting on an unfortunate and cruel burden that they realise they share with another person.

Day 2 and it’s main quest have a fun little detail that I will talk about later when we discuss formalities a little more, but for now I will simply note that throughout all of Day 2, the Bachelor speaks to Burakh using the formal version of “you” (and being addressed informally right back). But also, in one of the dialogues that happens during that quest Artemy says “I’m beginning to like you, oynon” the Russian version instead has “I’m liking you more and more, oynon” which is a fun detail that I think some people may appreciate.After examining the samples, you can ask the Bachelor what he is working on now. In his reply he says he’s looking for the sources of the outbreak and needs hard evidence. In the Russian text, he specifically says he needs evidence of himself being right. In the rest of his dialogues he seems rather open-minded to unorthodox practices, as much as he sneers at them, but in this particular case he seems focused specifically on being correct, rather than right. Not too empirical of him, smh.

I found this difference absolutely hilarious. I imagine the main reason that this line was translated the way it was is because they wanted to maintain the tone of suspicion coming from the Bachelor. In a more literal translation (and keep in mind, this all has a bunch of little words strewn in to pad out the sentences) Dankovsky says something more like “And what sort of specimen is that?” except it’s not “specimen” it’s “subject” which in Russian can point to a person, and it’s very difficult to convey the absolute snark that comes with this question. Imagine a suburban mother in a polka dot apron and red glasses, as she stares down a dead bird that her child has brought in from the backyard. There’s suspicion, a hint of disgust, and a demand to know why this is being brought to their attention. That being said, I don’t know if there was a better way to translate this. Maybe “Who the hell is that?” is the best way to convey this. I just wanted to point out how starkly different it is in Russian.

Interesting difference here: in the English version the Bachelor says “Your father was a natural.” Here, the specific word used usually refers to a gemstone, something extremely valuable. A literal translation of the word would be “self-born.”

Additionally, Dankovsky seems to speak very fondly of Rubin throughout the campaign. Like, it’s something that’s present in the English version, I guess, but in Russian it genuinely seems that the two share a strong bond. There is a lot more warmth when talking about his expertise, and a lot more concern and sadness, when it's implied that he might be in danger.

Two things about this. 1: The whole “half-dead” thing is absolutely hilarious in Russian. Essentially the word that he uses can be loosely likened to smth like “half-corpselings” with the use of diminutives, as if the bacteria were a bunch of tiny little guys that were about to die. More to my argument that the Bachelor doesn’t sound professional, just very deliberate. Secondly, the whole “Oh yes, I would very much like to have a serious talk with Rubin” makes it sound like he’s an angry parent whose kid is absolutely in trouble. In Russian, he sounds like he’s talking about meeting up with a college buddy, or as if the desire to ask for someone else’s assistance is a sudden urge. That comes specifically from the word he uses - охота (okhóta). The primary meaning of this word is “a hunt.” But it can also mean a desire, or want to do something, often paired with the fact that it’s something that you can’t or won’t do at the moment.

Fucking this. I was so flabbergasted by this line when I came across it, because the entire Haruspex campaign these two get along really well. And then this happens, and it suddenly sounds like the Bachelor is spitefully making fun of Burakh for not finding something that they both believe is impossible to find. Like, it was so mean and petty and out of the blue, it immediately paints an image of someone who lashes out the moment they have to admit defeat - which is not something the Bachelor has been doing so far. In the original Russian dialogue? “Yes, after everything you were unable to find this creature.” Or something to that effect. I’m translating the vibes here to my best ability. Oddly enough, this is one of the instances in which the Bachelor uses the informal version of “you” again. It’s not mockery. This is Daniil drawing the line of all that he could accomplish, but also all the things he tried to help realise, all the people he supported, before he is executed (at least he thinks he will be). He mentions being unable to look in the eye of everyone he failed earlier in the conversation, referring to his colleagues at Thanatica, but at the same time - at this point he’s already insisted that he wants himself and Burakh to collaborate and sees their separate goals as one. Artemy’s unfortunate conclusion is one he feels partially responsible for. The meaning and vibe of the sentence goddamn changes near everything about this interaction! It goes from spiteful gloating of a cornered, near dead man, trying to find solace in another person’s failings, to instead something more akin to… Regret? Pity? Empathy? That’s it, Marble Nest, I’m coming for your “oooh, Bachelor Dankovsky has no heart” bullshit.

That being said, after the Inquisitor’s appearance, the tone that Daniil takes on shifts drastically. I wasn’t able to find or remember when he sends his letter about the Bound, but I’m pretty sure it all happens around the same time. And the main idea of that is - the Bachelor has his own agenda now. He’s found out about what happened to Thanatica and is now dead set on preserving the only other miracle he knows of - the Polyhedron. And, maybe I’m getting a little to interpret-y here, but seeing as the Haruspex can help lead to that goal of his, the Bachelor then starts giving Burakh the same treatment that the Kains have been giving him. 

His tone becomes a lot more familiar, a lot more personal. He constantly brings up the things that he’s done for Artemy and the looming threat of the town getting shelled. Oh, and I’m pretty sure around that time he also starts calling him by his first name. He does his best to act like he really cares about what the “udurgh” can be, while pushing his own idea, and condemning Aglaya for doing the same. He also doesn’t use those little exasperated and rushed filler words in his speech, despite the situation being arguably a lot worse. I remember seeing some of that even in the English version, but I don’t know if it’s the fact that I got to see all the dialogue, or that some Russian words just hit different, but it’s a lot more apparent when looking at it now.

Now here’s a moment where I’m a bit lost as to what translation I prefer. I want all these characters to get along in a universe where they’re nice and kind to each other, but that’s simply not Pathologic. Besides, if I’m sticking to my interpretation, I should really be telling y’all that the Russian version is more effective. Because in Russian, dude literally says “I’m sorry if you thought I was condescending” or something to that extent that would imply that him being an ass is simply Burakh’s own misinterpretation. But hey, this is also the conversation in which he decided to “play unfair” and pressure Artemy into speaking to the Foreman in his stead, so it’s not like this changes much. Maybe being manipulated for what, a whole week now, has finally gotten to him, or he’s just gotten familiar enough to use such tactics - interpret it how you will.

More fun differences - when asking the Bachelor about how to get into the Polyhedron, he will mention Maria and Khan getting into a spat and not being on good terms. In Russian, he refers to her as “my Maria” which he hasn’t done before or since (at least between these two).

That’s all I’ve got about the campaign as it is, but I’ve also promised a little tangent about formality and so here it is. Throughout the entire campaign, there are only a few instances in which the Bachelor addresses the Haruspex using the formal version of “you.” Those instances are: 1 - when asking him about his inheritance. 2 - when talking about chimaeras and how they don’t exist before heading off to face the Inquisitor. And 3 - when you’re speaking to him late at night. Instances in which he’s either asking you to leave him alone, or offering to use his own bed to rest in. My theory is that the Bachelor - as far as I’ve read in his interactions with Burakh - switches to a formal tone (with people who he’d usually speak to informally) if he is uncomfortable. Consider: he uses the formal version of “you” when speaking to Artemy about his inheritance - because that’s a really awkward topic. He needs to get crucial information from Isidor’s notes asap, but the person he has to speak to about them is the man’s grieving son, who’s still being blamed for his death. Awkward as hell. Next instance? He thinks he’s about to be offed by the inquisitor and is (at least in my interpretation) expressing a degree of guilt for the failures of someone who’s at the very least an acquaintance at this point. Very uncomfortable, especially for someone with an ego as big as the Bitchelor’s. And lastly - late at night, tired out of his mind, having to either turn away a guest, or offer them his own bed. Both awkward and uncomfortable things to do, for a city boy. Now, this is, of course just from what I can see of Daniil in the Haruspex route, my conclusions might change drastically when I get through the other interactions, but it's still a fun difference.

And I would say that about wraps it up for the Bachelor in the Haruspex run. The biggest differences have been mainly the fact that he is a lot less formal than his English counterpart, the interesting insights that come with addressing your fellow doctor formally, and the very precise moment where Daniil’s kind and determined attitude turns to that of a manipulative snake.

On a quick tangent here about that, actually - in both the English and Russian version, you can very much engage in a way that allows Burakh to catch on to the Bitchelor’s tricks, and even start lying back to him, when you’re trying to gain access to the Polyhedron. But there is a certain bitterness present in these interactions that I’m not sure is well conveyed. Maybe it’s in the way Artemy himself speaks like an old soul, a fairytale wiseman, that makes these interactions that much more saddening. It’s especially visible in the dialogue where he tells Dankovsky that they’re dolls - it’s sad in the English version, but god if it isn’t absolutely tragic in Russian. And weirdly enough, I feel like a little bit more of that could have been conveyed if people opted for the clunkier but more literal translation? Like what I imagine the old translation was, that everyone complained so much about. Like, if the line “They don’t love us, but they way.” was instead. “We aren’t loved, by the way.” I think it’s a bit more personal, a bit more sad, and doesn’t have the “they” in it, which I feel makes it a little more… Potent. In fact, for most of that dialogue, the “they” is omitted in Russian, because grammar and all, except for the moments where Burakh explicitly mentions the children. And I like that more, I think. It’s not about what the powers that be are doing in the sandbox. It’s about how their dolls feel. How they’ve been stuck into this situation and how they aren’t loved. Even the line of “I hope my side wins” is different, instead it’s more like “I hope I’m won with” as if these characters were a means to an end and they are!! They are a means to an end! They’re dolls!! It’s a lot. This is already long enough and I have the Changeling to deal with. However, as this turned out to be a lot longer than anticipated, I will have to give that it's own post as well. Feedback, question or recommendations on how to format this better are always appreciated)