#it’s the pairing with the Tropys

[mystreet-liveblog]

Its not even the voices Aphmau needed to do in early seasons. I just have troubles where I take shows really seriously, so the no warning / no consent kissing or the people trying to find out everything about Aphmau's love life is just frustrating for me.

Autistic people taking things too seriously, what else is new?

I hear that, I too have the “tism”

But on the rewatch I kind of read it differently. It makes sense that Aph’s friends would be concerned about her love life since she hasn’t been interested in anyone since high school, her mom is notorious for hating boys, and half her male friends have crushes on her and she doesn’t reciprocate any of them. It’s an interesting situation and I know I’d be concerned, especially if I was Katelyn or KC

Katelyn sees Aph as a sister and knows that she’s had bad experiences with boys in the past (Gene and Ein, though I haven’t gotten to Ein in the rewatch yet so I may be misremembering some details) so of course she’d be suspicious of Laurance and the others across the street, Aaron who’s super suspicious and used to be a bully, and Zane who is literally Zane hahah

Meanwhile, KC is obsessed with shipping and she stands as an outlier who actively analyzes relationships and pairs them together in her mind as possible relationships, with her favorites being expressed more openly and verbally like a hyperfixation. It’s problematic but also not unheard of, and I can relate to analyzing your friends and deducing their compatibility (though not so much pressuring them into pursuing that compatibility :/). In the end she just wants to see all her friends happy, and she projects her own love of romantic love onto them

(KC actually reminds me a bit of Nepeta from Homestuck but that’s a conversation for a different day)

I do think the lack of consent coming from Laurance and his roommates is very weird and disturbing, but the conscious narrative seems aware that it’s problematic while the subconscious narrative plays it off as a joke. It’s not really that funny, but I guess that’s just part of the anime tropiness of the season.

The entire show, or at least the first seasons of MyStreet and PDH, was made to feel anime tropey and unfortunately that kind of nonconsensual humor is very anime. It’s a little nuanced tho that the rest of the show explores the “after they get together” situations rarely seen in romance anime, though, as well as abandoning the nonconsensual humor in favor of villainizing it and using it to characterize antagonists (sorry Laurance fans your fav is problematic <3)

I actually kind of realized through my rewatch that Laurance was the main instigator of these inappropriate actions and it’s really his own problem to work through. The rest follow him with the frat boy mindset and only come to their senses when actually thinking on their own lol

Like, I remember as a kid there being so many jokes about Travis touching peoples butts, but as far as I remember from my rewatch they were all accidents! That’s kind of funny actually! But the normalization of predatory behavior is very weird in S1 and I’m glad it’s gone in S2

In PDH S1, it’s only slightly justified by the students all being literal children who are working through their hormones and poor coping mechanisms. Both Laurance and Garroth kiss Aphmau without her consent and then swear her to secrecy, which is toxic as hell and its protrayed as such. Gene even threatens to kiss her in front of Aaron which is a whole other thing we don’t need to discuss at length cause I’m sure you get the point by now

But PDH-Aaron notably asks permission every time he does anything romantic with Aph and it’s sweet. In S1 of MyStreet, he does kiss her after the play without verbal consent, but it’s implied she did at least nonverbally consent in later episodes when discussing what happened. Regardless, that sort of content in S1 isn’t touched upon as the story goes on which makes it a lot better to me, and it shows the growth of the author alongside her characters

WOAH— SORRY FOR THE LONG RESPONSE!!!! I just found this topic interesting!!!! Hope you have fun reading this MOUNTAIN wow—

[cornbake]

Hi! Can I request a Vax x reader? They are enemies to lovers, you can decide the plot, but maybe with a one bed trope ( although I don't think Vex would allow that!) If you of course like it and want.

One of my favorite tropies when it comes to romance ngl. So most gladly I will do so!!

Splitting this one up too. Helps my thought process!

Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: language (like always thou)

Spoilers: None

You had been with the twins for a while. A little before the rest of Vox. Your affliation with the clasp and them is how you first met. And how you kept together was more so due to skill than personal attachment. After all. Why would the twins like a cocky arrogant prick like yourself?

At least thats what Vax was thinking as you droned on and on about old stories to the others. You and him never got along. Always rivaling in your skills, and rivaling in your feats. If he had done some death defying act, you where sure to do the same not but moment after. You always had to rub your stuns in his face, boasting about them any moment you got after doing so. It made Vax wish he wipe that smirk off your face any moment he saw it.

Brooding in his room, one at the only inn the group could find in this small town. He was finishing up matnance with his daggers as his sister entered.

"Hopefully you aren't too far down that dark pit of yours." She wandered over to her bow to start to restring it for the journey ahead. "We need you present and not swallowing in your own thoughts, brother." His eyes didn't meet hers as she cast him a glance. His brows knitted together as his focus kept to the blades.

"I am aware of what must be done. But mind you, I am not the issue of this party." He could hear the soft scofting from his twin. "My focus is kept to the task at hand. Much more that what some of the others can say."

"Please. I still say you are over thinking this. No one is trying to steal the other's spot here. Maybe you just need to speak with them to understand them better." Her words only gain a huff from the raven-haired rouge. Sighing, Vax gathered her stuff to get ready for the road again. "Just... promise me you won't be distracted, brother..."

He took a moment to sigh. Hearing the hint of fear in his sisters voice made his heart twing with guilt.

"I promise to try, stubby..."

She can't get mad at him, he said he would try and here he is! Trying! Trying so very hard!

They had all been tasked to clear out the mine shaft next to the town so the miners could get back to work. The group needed the coin, so they took the job. You and Vax took up scouting ahead, something you both had been paired up to do countless times. Not that it meant you both enjoyed the other's shadow next to your own but sucking up your pride, the pair of you made do.

A simple scout ahead and come back, that's all it was! And what do you do? You go on further ahead without him and now he has to clean up YOUR mess.

"I swear I'm going to kill them if they are still alive after all this." The raven haired man grumbles as he assassinates a figure posted by one of the entrances. The Gnoll being dragged away just as another comes out to see what was going on, scratching his head in confusion at the missing ally. Giving the rouge just the perfect moment to slip by.

He kept to the shadows, feet stepping quickly yet lightly to make no sound. He could barely see, his Darkvision only helping him so much in the nearly pitch darkness. Both an advantage and a disadvantage.

The more he crept the further from the light he got, but his ears could here the struggles from a certain someone.

"I hope you know you are in deep shit after we get out of here."

"Oh great, my savior and my demise. Save your sharp tongue for the rope asshole."

There you, quick witt and annoying voice included. He had some hope that the Gnolls would have taken one of the two from you at the very least but seems that he can't get everything he wants all the time.

Making quick work of the lock that held you in the rusted cage like structure he pulls a dagger out to get the tightly bound rope cut. His rough treatment of your hands making you hiss.

"That hurt fuck nut"

"Well I'm sorry that you were the one to get you into this mess. Be grateful I came at all."

He had gotten the blade under the rope just as a pair of fur matted paws roughtly grab his face and chest, pulling him back away from you.

"VAX!" Your voice pierces the void that now engulfed his vision. Claws digging into skin as the Gnoll behind him struggled to hold onto his fighting form.

He kept trying to fight off the fish scented beast but he couldn't out flex something that could rival Grog in a fight. He could hear the mutt talking to other Gnolls. Gods save him.

It didn't take long for him to be bound next to you in the same cage. Sitting across from you, and while you can't see it, glaring into your soul. He was going to kill you the second he could. You got him in this mess. Something that had a very low chance of getting out of.

"I can feel you staring. Stop it. It's not gunna undo your loud ass boots."

"My loud ass- why. Best count your blessing while you can, I would gut you where you were if I wasn't bound. All because of your doing!"

"MY doing? Oh? And that includes, what? Me sa-"

A loud and harsh CLANG, rings from the metal cage. One of the Gnolls snarling at you two to get your bickering to stop.

"Once I am free from this you are dead, raven boy."

He sulked, not sharing any more words. His anger boiling his blood, he will make sure you never forget this moment. Whether this be the last moment the two of you share with one another or a scar to remind you of your mistakes. He will make sure you have a reminder.

[no-shxme]

Hi I saw you have TalEz on your won'ts for your commissions. Just curious can you explain why?

hi anon yEAH i can explain but like, to preface this, if you happen to like talez you're totally valid and dont feel like you have to dislike it or anything bc im gonna be a lil hater. people like what they like (and dislike what they dislike) and thats totally okay. this is just my own personal opinion. i wish i liked talez more bc its probably the most popular talon ship and im often starving, but i just dont and there's a couple reasons why.

i dont like the way its usually portrayed

im not the biggest ezreal fan.

imo there's better fits for both of them.

ugh this is going to be long so ill put it under the cut.

tbf, you dont NEED some complex reason to dislike a ship/character. like reason 2 is already enough for me to open and shut smth, but i do have complex thoughts about talez. and i am totally going to do a little hating below.

i think talez is so fucking anime that it lacks so much complexity. i dont really like anime. (i know thats a broad, loaded statement i just hate 99% of the tropes that pop up. not saying ive never enjoyed a shitty/tropy anime, but just--no) i think talez is broadly boiled down and portrayed by most fan-creators as 'edgy dark cloud + ball of sunshine' and i think thats so boring and lame for both of them. imo it reduces them to a really basic ship trope and there's nothing inherently WRONG with it, i just think its so boring. i look at popular fanworks and personally find it super reductive for both of them. it feels like talez happened bc at it's inception league needed an anime character ship. to be fair, you can reduce ANY ship to smth basic. talsett is just 'tall x short' but in comparison i think talsett has so much more complexity in theming. same with like, rhaayn for example. to me there's a lot more depth. i think the most depth you can get out of talez is related to ez's loss of family and talon's too + themes of belonging, but god. its not good enough.

talez is also usually portrayed romantically and i'm turbo aromantic and mostly romance repulsed and also hc talon as the same, so this already cuts out so much talez fanwork for me. :')

ALSO while we're at it, talon is such a bottom to me. even when he tops. and i hate him being portrayed as this like, idk, grim edgy SUPER TALL??? domineering top when he's like, as tall as katarina in the comic and was prolly malnourished bc he lived on the streets for years. tbh i would automatically like talez more if they were BOTH shortasses and switches as god intended. but noooo. i think if i literally just saw/read more ez topping talon then i'd be automatically more on board. but id also need an aromantic angle so its literally never happening.

i think when ezreal gets paired with talon both of their personalities get so fucked. his ass is not cuddling. ezreal is not some weak damsel or master of seduction either. i think a problem that not just talez creators but like, creators in general suffer from is erasing bad traits that characters have, unless they're 'cute.' talon has some cute bad traits, but he also has some seriously bad traits that loving or being loved wont fix. and ezreal is just reduced SO bad. so talez feels inherently ooc to me. fandom has done a number on him. there's nothin left in the pot. i think being with talon (in canon) is such an uphill battle and most of the time i dont see ezreal equipped to handle it in comparison to other people.

i dont really like ezreal. i think i've already made that clear before. he's fun to play and i like him on a surface level and ive got friends that really like him and thats totally fine but idk he's just not my blorbo. the only time i really like him is when he's with aphelios, where somehow my dislike of both characters cancel out. maybe i dont have room for him because i like talon too much, who knows. either way, often times when talez fanworks are created the focus is actually just on ezreal, and that annoys me as an ezreal disliker. (fanwork creators can create whatever the fuck they want ofc, godspeed do what makes you happy)

and my third point: there's better fits for both of them. i like ezphel and ezkayn more than talez. i think in canon there's a good chance talon might genuinely kill him. or ezreal might really overwhelm him and drive him away with his outward facing personality. and frankly there's a good chance ezreal also goes away bc talon is bad news and also doesn't have the charisma to keep him there. and ofc for talon i think talsett is the ultimate fit, or even talshan is right there.

THAT BEING SAID. i don't mind talez AS much if there's a third, though we still run into some of the same issues as above. like ive written talezsett before. thats nice! talezlux is okay too even if,, completely unfeasible... (i have strong opinions im sorry. as a crack ship its fun i think)

blah blah. i think i could like talez but i would have to write it myself. thats what it boils down to. there are ideas/concepts i like about them. ive juggled the idea of putting a talez fic on my to do list but i just dont think i'll write it in any way that actual talez fans would like, which means there's no point in writing it at all. i've plotted several, long and short, but i think everyone would hate it. talez isn't a strict 'won't write.' iirc it specifically says like: 'unless the idea goes hard' but no ones tried me pfppf, and im fine with it i guess.

there's more i can say but like, i dont want this to be too long.

the important thing to remember is that if you like talez... GOOD. im happy for you!! keep loving it, godspeed. these are just my personal reasons it doesnt click with me.

[motoroil-recs]

inbox check? /nf

It's a doozy, anon, I can tell you that much.

Here's what I've got in my inbox:

A stimboard for Killer Frost [The Flash CW] A stimboard of N. Tropy [Crash Bandicoot Warped] 💌 A stimboard of Tawna Bandicoot [Crash Bandicoot] 💌 A stimboard for Alistair Theirin [Dragon Age] A stimboard for Q!Roier [QSMP] A stimboard for Rachel Amber [Life Is Strange] A stimboard of the pairing Partyskater [Regretevator] (?) A stimboard of Fakir and Mytho [Princess Tutu 2002] A stimboard of Captain Laserhawk [Rayman] A moodboard for Lilac [Incredibox: Orin Ayo] A stimboard for Lampert [Regretevator?] A stimboard for lonely avatar!Martin Blackwood [Magnus Archives] A moodboard for Rosie [Hazbin Hotel] A stimboard for Gum [Jet Set Radio] A stimboard for an owl A stimboard for Weyoun [Star Trek DS9] A moodboard for Jade West [Victorious] A stimboard for Edward Nygma [Animated Series] A stimboard for Bill Denbrough [IT 2017] A stimboard for Garvey [Dormitabis; REMASTERED] A stimboard for Jack Walten [The Walten Files] A moodboard for Tangotek [Hermitcraft]* A sketch for Jade Harley [Homestuck]

*Currently being worked on

💌 Scheduled for Valentine's Day.

[ TOTAL REQUESTS: 23 ]

I have 3 kinfessions queued, and they will all be posted by tomorrow.

I have 1 kinfession scheduled for Valentine's Day!

If you need any more info, do let me know, and if you don't see your request listed here, please feel free to send it again! Have a wonderful day!

[theherosreturn]

Athena, with a gently yet somehow wicked smile: Then let us visit it before the attack, shall we?

What would N. Tropy end up seeing inside this laboratory before they all headed out? Asides from the three beasts Athena had prepared not being kept in there (she has some allocated space for her most powerful creations, old and new, to be locked up for later use), it would be…hellish, to put it lightly, and not just because Athena decided to return to her true height for this.

It didn’t even look like a lab, Athena just…summoning whatever equipment she needed on a whim, furniture included. Of course (as the image can’t display), the many mutilated body parts around in various vessels didn’t help make the lab less morbid, alongside entire novels worth of books. It was also sized to someone of Athena’s immense stature of about 6 meters tall, so everything that wasn’t a pert from another being was huge. Inside, a reconstituted Hephaistos was working on something as well…out of hearing distance. It was probably best to leave him be, given it seemed to be something pretty big and probably something Sam didn’t want delayed.

Athena, in a casual way: Does this satisfy your curiosity?

N. Trophy, unsurprisingly disturbed by all of this: If this is what you do with your test subjects, I don't want to know what you do with your enemies...*N. Trophy could barely make out a half-finished bird like humanoid floating within some type of healing chamber of sorts...He wasn't sure what was more concerning, the fact Athena had all of this or the fact that their leader wanted Athena and her slave (He wouldn't say "that" out loud) to recreate...Whatever this thing is...*

(Meanwhile with The Savage Scavengers)

*As The Savage Scavengers were clashing with the Tribesmen, Shay D. Mann (No relation to The Mann Brothers) had snuck his way into some type of warehouse their enemies had and was curious what was inside since the front doors said in painted big red letters: "Big 'uns Quarters" and assumed that it was an armory...Only to bump into something big...*

Shay, after seeing that they were a big pair of combat boots: Why the hell do they even giant shoes here??...*Large booming footsteps were heard as something towered over the crook*

Mag Bandit, with a massive fork in one hand and a knife in the other: DINNER TIME!! (Shay: Oh...Sh**-!) *The man wouldn't even be able to finish his last words as the rogue Mag had skewered the only other notable Raven tribe bandit with their giant fork and took a bite out of his head* NEEDS MORE SALT!!!

(Meanwhile with The heroes)

Lilith, while temporarily picking her head up before continuing to read a book called "40 Shades of Red": Does anyone else feel like we're missing some type of event or at the very least not seeing something take place?

Heavy, in a arm wrestling match with Gilgamesh: No.

Uzi, having given Gregory and Cassie their own guns...To the concern of both Vanessa and Glamrock Freddy and Roxy: Maybe?

Bakago, lying on a couch one of the crafty heroes had buit: I'm bored as hell!...

[bad0mens]

Trope Rating game

Tagged by @suspiciouspopsicle!! LET'S GO

rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded  0 - don’t care either way  +10 -> very enticed  nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.  Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age gap: 0

A lot of this depends on how it's handled and the length of the age gap. I hate the 1000+ year old elf/etc looks like a 12 year old, but as long as everyone of age and there's consent and not a gross power imbalance.

Codependency: -3

Like, I like characters feelings like they need each other, but ultimately standing on their own. In this same vein, I prefer 'chooses to be save themselves because of love' vs 'saved by love' end of this sort of trope.

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: 0

Another that kind of depends on how it's handled. I dislike an overbearing possessiveness, but when it's played a bit for comedic effect and ultimately harmless, it's fine.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): 8

LOVE OPPOSITES attract. IT'S GOOD.

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: 4

Enemies to lovers, YEs. Enemies with benefits? Handled more as a rivalry and I'm game.

Friends with benefits: 5

I'm usually a single pairing style, but if it leads to more romantic feelings, I'm absolutely game. I use it sometimes as a background thing, but I like an emotional endgame.

Sex to feelings: 9

Like above, I LOVE AN emotional endgame that starts with casual sex. Especially if those feelings start quickly and cause all sorts of mutual pining.

Fake dating/relationship: 5

For comedic purposes, yes! I've read one fic that played it serious that was really good though, so it can definitely be handled with a deeper tone.

Friends to lovers: 50

YES YES YES YES (especially childhood friends to lovers, I EAT THAT SHIT UP)

Found Family: 10

Love a found family! While I usually write with mostly romance in mind, the queer in me desperately loves a big cast of weirdos all finding solace and home in each other.

Hurt/Comfort: 10

SUFFER FOR THE HAPPY ENDING. I will drag a character through hell, through things that should kill them, that should make them lose hope, only to watch them emerge triumphant, if damaged, on the other side. Also the potential for processing trauma not touched on by in canon events is SO FUN, especially with comfort aspects to follow to start the healing process.

Love Triangle: -5

Ehhh. I'm sure there's plenty that is well written out there, but I'm usually avoid this one.

Poly, open relationships: 0

There's a few poly relationships I'm into (Juriestelle....) but they are few and far between and never include my OTPs.

Mistaken/hidden identity: 3

I've had some fun with this, but it's not really something I gravitate too often.

Monsterfucking: 9

Yes. Werewolf, cryptid, eldritch horror, I'm down.

Pregnancy: -100

No NO nO NOO. Do not like. I am fine with characters having kids, but I do not want to read or write anything about the pregnancy stages of that. I much prefer the adoption route (see found family trope...)

Second Chance: 0

Not over something like infidelity. Drifting apart and trying again and things like that are okay if well done.

Slowburn: 7

I love writing slowburn. As a reader, I feel so impatient! But there's so much of it that's done so well.

Soulmates: 5

I'm good with some of the soulmate stuff. Like, I've used it, but in a generally less tropy way and more of a symbolic thing. But I've seen some very interesting concepts.

Tagging anyone who wants to do it! (I don't mind being tagged in these things AT ALL, they're so much fun, but I don't want to be annoying and tag other people lol...)

[hibiscuspizza]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Vintage Emilio Pucci Neiman Marcus Tropy Room Silk Dress, Women's Small.

[hipposfashion]

Beer Tropical Hawaiian Shirt Price From: 43.99$ | | [Buy it now at] : https://hipposfashion.com/product/beer-tropical-hawaiian-shirt/ https://www.facebook.com/HipposFashion/✅ https://twitter.com/hipposfashion✅ https://www.instagram.com/hipposfashionstore/✅ https://www.tumblr.com/hipposfashion✅ Looking for a summer shirt that will show off your beer drinking skills? Look no further than the Beer Tropical Hawaiian Shirt. This shirt is perfect to wear while enjoying a tropical island breeze. Made from 100% cotton, this shirt is comfortable and easy to care for. Pair it with some kicks and shades, and you're good to go for an afternoon at the beach or pool party. When it comes to tropi...

[randomboo256]

Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped (1998) Review [Part One]

Two days ago, I made a decently long post about my thoughts on the classic Playstation game Crash Bandicoot. Yesterday, I made an even longer follow up post about my thoughts on that game's sequel: Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back. I recommend reading those first. So to keep that streak going, today we're going to look at the game made to conclude the classic trilogy and this post got so long that Tumblr made me break it up into two parts. How could possibly be so much to say about an old Playstation game? Well, let's just get into things.

Once again a year after the previous game, Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped released on store shelves. Well, in the UK anyway. Here in the US, it was titled simply Crash Bandicoot: Warped. I refuse to call it that because randomly dropping the number is dumb. Well whatever you call it, this game is a weird one. It’s starting to feel like Naughty Dog might be running out of ideas, because unlike the previous Crash games, this one is entirely themed around a single gimmick: time travel. Having your whole game tie around a single theme is normally done when your series has reached a certain point that you have to do it so that your new game feels distinct from all your other ones. For example, most 3D Mario games chose 1 single theme, be it summer islands, traveling across space, or exploring around the world and then have each level be different takes on that theme. That’s not a bad thing per say, but it is weird for Crash 3 to suddenly go for this approach when Crash 1 and 2 didn’t. Perhaps that’s why it’s not known as Crash 3 in some regions? Probably not. Anyway I digress, let’s just move on to the story.

This game picks up right where the true ending of the last game left off with the Cortex Vortex destroyed and falling from space. It crashes into… some kinda temple and someone or something was “freed at last”. We cut to Crash and Coco at home when Aku Aku realizes that it was the evil Uku Uku who was freed. Now I’m sure you’re wondering: "Who the heck is Aku Aku and what’s the deal with this Uku Uku guy?" Well Aku Aku is a character who was in the first and second Crash games who I’ve simply failed to mention until now, and that’s mainly because he wasn’t really a character at all. Aku Aku was just a powerup in levels. You find an Aku Aku and you get an extra hitpoint. Find three and you get invincibility. Pretty simple. Starting in Crash 3, he’s now a main character. Honestly in the first two it just felt like Aku Aku was just some weird inanimate mask that there are tons of, not one singular character. Why is he in boxes? Why can three of them stack? Well whatever the reason, in this game going forward he's now a parental figure of sorts to Crash and Coco. As for Uku Uku, we find that he was sealed away in an underground prison eons ago by his twin brother Aku Aku to protect the world from him. Meanwhile we find out that Cortex was somehow working for Uku Uku the whole time actually and Uku Uku was the real mastermind. Uku Uku is angry at Cortex for failing as Cortex begs for forgiveness as they scheme a new plan to collect the crystals. Aku Aku warps Crash and Coco to a time machine Cortex was going to use..somehow and Crash and company decide to collect all the crystals before Cortex does, except this time, they’re going to go through time and collect those crystals where they could be found throughout history and this is literally the plot of Avengers Endgame. Obviously there’s no way Endgame was inspired by this, although they did reference Ratchet and Clank in that movie… Nah moving on. Crash stops Cortex and Uku Uku by collecting everything in the game and after the pair’s defeat the time machine malfunctions and sends the two of them, plus N Tropy (the creator of the time machine), back to the prehistoric ages with them all stuck as babies. The end.

This plot sucks lmao. It’s full of retcons and moments that don’t make sense. Obviously it’s not a big deal because the storyline isn’t why you play these games, but the game is certainly still trying to tell a story. You know, if they weren’t trying to tell a story they wouldn’t have bothered to do anything, like the average Mario game. There’s a bizarre amount of lore and characters tied up in this series and I haven’t even mentioned a lot of them. It’s fucking weird. Perhaps it’s even.. insane? No? Ok. Well the point stands that if they didn’t want to tell a good plot they shouldn’t have told one. I suppose I can understand if the point was to give us an excuse to see these characters interact with one another, but none of the dialogue in this game is very entertaining. Crash is voiceless and he doesn’t really have a well defined personality, I’m not sure Coco had any speaking lines, Aku Aku is just kinda boring, and none of the villains were interesting. Well, except Cortex I suppose. He’s shown to be a lot more tired, reluctant, and pessimistic about his plan working in this game which directly contrasts with the confident and energetic Uku Uku. That was moderately interesting, but there was no real payoff to that. This whole plot just confuses me. What was Naughty Dog doing with this? Did they want a narrative or not? My best guess is that they wanted to do the Mario thing where we have a basic narrative that’s just an excuse for gameplay, while at the same time not? If you just want a gameplay excuse, what’s all this extra fluff? It makes no sense. Perhaps it’s even… insane- wait fuck I already used this joke.

But yeah, once again the plot doesn’t really matter in Crash. I just think it’s interesting to analyze. Naughty Dog is a company that later went on to be known for their groundbreaking storytelling (although whether or not their later stories truly are groundbreaking is a heated debate that I don't have time to address here). It's interesting how even as early as Crash 3 they're trying to do... something narratively. Something beyond what was necessary to include for a game of this type. In a way, it's part of a larger shifting trend moving into the Playstation 2 era where a lot of platformers started having progressively layered plots despite the fact those plots weren't particularly needed to prop up the gameplay per se. Games like Super Mario Sunshine, Sonic Adventure 2, Ratchet and Clank, Sly Cooper, and of course Naughty Dog's own Jak and Daxter. That's not to say Crash 3 was responsible for that trend (I'd argue that games like Sonic Adventure hold more of the blame) but it was an early adopter of that style. Not that there's anything wrong with having a story, as long as it's well written (which a lot of the games of this era sadly weren't).

In fact, this theme of Crash 3 being an early adopter of trends common in the Playstation 2 era is actually a bit of a running theme here, as we finally move on to what actually matters: the gameplay.

[Continued in Part Two]

[actionadventureps]

Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled

CTR Nitro-fueled sees Crash and the gang sporting a tasty visual upgrade mirroring the style of N.Sane Trilogy, cleverly capturing the trademark silliness the franchise is known for. Get your pedal to the metal across a series of tracks that feature iconic spots within the game series, each notably not similar to the following. You'll have to navigate manifold hazards and obstacles and cause mayhem amongst the contenders by utilizing a hearty toolbox of energy-boosting items. Pocketing ten yummy wumpa fruit as you speed round circuits can also boost your velocity and increase the effectiveness of your armory. With the many power-ups available and counter-options that make races feel constantly new and unpredictable, eliminating the monotony and making sure your more competitive streak remains very well intact throughout.

The racing experience is silky smooth and unquestionably fun. Effortlessly, a retro-style management scheme can be a good option for the extra authentic CTR feeling. keeping "X" for acceleration is quite the throwback by itself. Any type of infamous intrusion like falling off the track only to restart at a different section ahead, or jumping through the ground to skip entire segments disappear as you'd probably imagine. Apart from that, almost all tracks are flawless replicas of the originals with so much human life added to the background. Polar Pass includes the polar bear DJ, complete with dancing penguins, The Papu's Pyramid shows a boater attempting to climb a waterfall, and Mystery Caves displays pterodactyls floating in the magma. Things that the majority of people won't additionally see mainly because they zoom through have an incredible amount of depth. This essentially was not available together with the unique because of technological boundaries.

This is an excellent career from Beenox, given it seriously feels like enjoying the initial again. The driving experience is responsive and sharp, you still need to accelerate through every turn and maintain the speed along straights. The video game is equally punishing even if you make one error on the more difficult challenges. All aspects of the overall game are exactly as you recall it from the first, such as the top dogs. It is a challenge to strike an equilibrium between pleasing gamers who would like that the sport to function as a similar entertainment while also allowing certain areas to get toned straight back somewhat. Bosses like Pinstripe and Nitros Oxide and N. Tropy's notorious time trials are examples of this. Beenox has not yet made any changes to these They're still extremely difficult however when you've got enough experience and a pinch of luck, they're able to generally be beaten. I do hate Pinstripe however those bombs. I mentioned it above I mentioned it before, but the main downside for Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled is the new introduction of the Nitro Kart circuits, but a decrease in journey mode from the very same video game. The Crash Team Racing adventure is truly amazing; the new cutscenes and scenes in the world of graphics that has new character models are fantastic and the mainstay island that connects to the various places can be like going back to an ancient vacation placement.

CTR's acoustic always has been excellent generally, but it's not great. Although the Sonic and Mario franchises are indeed known for their timeless tunes, this has not been the scenario for Crash and which doesn't transform with Nitro-Fueled. The accuracy of the tunes is very much better than just before and the voice acting on the game's storyline is more advanced than also the brand-new Team Sonic Racing, but it's not as great to play as other Kart Racers. Weapon blasts are quite enjoyable in this game and have more impact than they were in the first launch - making it a far more satisfying playthrough using a decent pair of headphones as you'll be able to hear where your opponents are arriving from much better than just using your speakers. Best place to buy cheap games.

Crash Team Racing: Nitro-Fueled is pretty good at what it's trying to do. The remade journey mode is very fun without the hassle required to have funds to open up things and the experience of playing has been refined. This makes for the most enjoyable Crash racing video game to date and is yet another top-of-the-line kart racing game. The category is as large as it has been in the last 20 years and includes Sonic, Mario, and Crash all competing in stores additionally, the ideal aspect for the players is the fact that you are unable to get it wrong with any of these. Crash provides a great game in general and is an experience I'd rank above Team Sonic Racing, but just a little ahead of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Here you can buy cheap games, from all categories whether we are talking about action adventure, racing, sports, strategy, or shooters.

[anoddopal]

Sometimes I want to interact with more folks but I worry that one of my ships falls under most DNI criteria so I frequently isolate in this community.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

*throws open doors* you know what, I’m tried, I should go to bed since I have work at 6am, but I have OPINIONS. Some of them are controversial.

1- I prefer Izuku being closer with Iida and Uraraka then anyone else. Everyone else is awesome yes but something about this trip makes my heart ache and I giggle so much. Plus these three (usually Iida) get shoved aside for the others and I hate it. I honestly dislike having Todoroki part of their friendship group because of this as we then focus entirely on him and Izuku. GIVE ME MORE IIDEKOCHA CONTENT.

2- ‘squad swap’ fics don’t work because Bakugou would NOT get along with Iida and I can’t see Uraraka putting up with him. The only reason Kirishima stands Bakugou is cause he saw him at the USJ and became convinced he’s an okay dude.

3-you can redeem Dabi without having him secretly be soft for his family. You can still have him hate them and not want anything to do with them. Actually that might be more interesting so I don’t have to read a million fics that are the same ‘he secret loves his family and has tried to protect them’.

4- I don’t like Ochako/Tsu because I feel that the relationship is overdone and people just slap it into fics with TodoDeku to pair Ochako off.

5- Toga is a terrible person and I’d rather not have her redeemed… ever.

6- Endeavour sucks but his redemption arc isn’t as bad as it could be. (See Bakugou)

7- Inko isn’t shown often enough to get any feel for her character and as such we have no actual idea about her. I have zero opinions on her and as such I enjoy playing with her character in all fics.

8- making everyone gay or trans is dumb as fuck. Same as making only the people you don’t like straight. It’s extremely off putting for me and I find that people go overboard in an attempt to be ‘cool’. If you go: everyone is gay! I’m leaving the story. Goodbye. You can have a fun story without everyone being gay. Also a lot of these go overboard in tropiness and stereotypes.

9- OCs are fun and they add background to a world. If you have ocs paired with canon characters who are more background then have fun! OCs aren’t bad and they are fun.

10- All Might is NOT as bad as people make him out to be. He’s a not-so-great teacher but he would not be homophobic, transphobic, so Quirkist he tried to bar Izuku from UA entirely and so on.

[arwenkenobi48]

Crash Bandicoot: Behind The Mask - Chapter 1

It was so peaceful in the void. No sound, save for a soft breeze, could be heard. The sand was soft and still warm from the sunlight that had kissed it hours before and the night sky seemed to almost resemble a cosmic blanket, wrapping the world up and keeping it safe like a father watching over his son.

Doctor Neo Cortex lay on the beach, his hands resting behind his head, gazing up into the serene emptiness of the sky. Finally, his troubles were over. No more evil plans. No more time travel. No more of those blasted bandicoots. Just him and an empty bliss beyond this world. A relieved sigh escaped his lips, on which a smile was forming. Peace at last, peace at last… His eyelids slowly drooped as he began sinking into sleep.

His slumber, however, was quickly interrupted. An alarming noise reached Cortex’s ears. A noise he had hoped to never hear again. A noise that made his skin crawl, his heart race and his blood turn to ice. The familiar sound of the evil laughter of a certain tiki mask. “Oh, dear God…” Cortex shivered, as a pair of glowing eyes emerged from the darkness. The wooden mask with its bone motifs and feathers resembling a full beard hovered over him, laughing maniacally and grinning evilly.

Terrified, Cortex cowered in the mask’s presence. “Great Uka Uka, forgive me-“ “SILENCE!” Uka Uka boomed, his distorted voice making the diminutive scientist jump out of his skin. “So, you thought you could get away with it, did you? Rule over all space and time by N. Tropy’s side and leave me to rot!? You’ve been quite the thorn in my side, Neo Cortex. Your ineptitude has done more damage to my work than those pitiful marsupials ever could! Well, I have ways of ensuring that such failure does not repeat itself. You will get what you wanted, Doctor; the destruction of the bandicoots. And I shall get what I want; destruction of the world!”

Sweat glistening on his large forehead, Cortex backed away. “No, I don’t want that anymore!” He begged. “I’m done with these schemes, I’m done with the bandicoot! I just want to exist in peace!” Uka Uka laughed horribly once again. “I am sorry to hear that, Cortex. You see, you don’t have a choice.” The mask suddenly flew towards Cortex and attached itself to his head.

Cortex screamed in terror and began frantically trying to pull the mask off, but it was impossible to do so. He flailed and struggled in desperation, but he could feel Uka Uka wearing him down all the same, crushing his will until nothing remained but an empty shell, a vessel for the malevolent entity. Paralysed, trapped within his own body and his mind no longer his own, Cortex’s hands fell limp at his sides. His body moved as though he was a marionette and Uka Uka was pulling the strings.

The whole world seemed to shake as a rift in space and time opened. A rift that would lead straight to the island paradise that Crash Bandicoot and his friends called home. Uka Uka uttered another evil laugh. “Those pathetic vermin. They will never know what hit them!” The evil mask jumped into the rift and Cortex had no choice but to follow.

[red-cavalier]

N.Tropy's helmet lights look like the Demon King's eyes/...big orange gem. He's even got some little horns, like a wife.

I feel more justified in pairing him with Lyon like I did. Lyon offers nothing in return, but I guess he's colored enough like Tropy's only actual friend, so...

[convenientalias]

would you be willing to rate cdramas on: your recommendations for someone who hasn't seen many cdramas yet?

I can try. But also the first cdrama I ever completed was Nirvana in Fire, which I've heard a lot of ppl specifically say is not a good first cdrama. So this is all with a grain of salt.

Also, to be noted: I assume that a drama delving into Chinese culture is not a minus in this case, as long as it's still comprehensible or would be with a little research. (E.g. when I watch a historical drama set in an era I have no experience with, I usually do a little googling at the confusing bits and come out fine.)

Also to be noted: Since I usually just rate every cdrama I've ever watched (...it's only eleven. I'm also a person who hasn't seen THAT many cdramas, tho there are more I've DNFed) I'm just going to do that even if I don't actually rec the drama at all. You get a range!

So with no further ado, here are the dramas:

Ancient Detective--8/10 as an introductory drama, actually I think this is a good choice in a lot of ways. There are a lot of wuxia aspects to the show, from wanderers in the jianghu to martial sects to bands of bandits to legendary doctors to improbably perfect disguises to weak heroes who faint because they have a curse of coldness on them. So it's kind of cool as an introduction to that genre. However, it's also just a case procedural show, and the plot's easily understandable. Also, it's only 24 episodes, making it the second shortest drama on this list. I feel I must mention that the next shortest dramas here (Granting You a Dreamlike Life, Handsome Siblings, and Weaving a Tale of Love, tied) are 40 episodes long. Love Is More Than a Word is shorter. But Love Is More Than a Word is not very good (I love it but its quality is not high).

The Disguiser--7/10. What's not to love about a spy drama? Gave me a crash course on China's politics in WWII. Has a lot of intrigue and great characters. There is a small fandom. It is in love with a pair of adoptive brothers who are also employer and employee (and kind of ships the two) and it is not wrong about this but what I want is for ppl to care more about is the youngest brother of the Ming family and his awful relationship with his ruthless and manipulative spymaster mentor. which broke me into small pieces. Not rated higher bc 1) I think most ppl who watch this first watched Nirvana in Fire and became obsessed with one or more of the actors in it so I'm sure that influences our perception of it and 2) it has some episodes that are just kind of boring and a couple things about it really annoy me. (Like, why can't ppl show Ah Cheng some more respect, damn it?!)

The Flame's Daughter--God, I don't know. On the one hand, inter-sect intrigue, martial arts, vengeance, incredible whump, beautiful and color coded costuming, all things I love. I am constantly trying to get more ppl to watch this show. On the other hand I want to punch the male lead in the face, the main romance sucks, and the main plot only really kickstarts at about, hm, episode 6 or 7. And it only gets REALLY good (just imo) around episode 20-ish. But also, Dilraba Dilmurat! Even if her character develops slowly, I just love her! Idk, pick between a 8 (for "please watch this I am begging you") and a 4 (for "you might just quit around episode 4 and I wouldn't really blame you").

Granting You a Dreamlike Life--Again, can I rec this show? I'm really not sure I can rec this show. The love triangle, depending on how you feel about the characters and about love triangles in general, could easily be a huge drag. Also it's non-stop melodrama and tropiness. But it has nice whump and also has Zhu Yilong (most ppl know him from Guardian, which is not on this list bc I never finished it. He's a good actor). I guess I'll give it a 5/10. If you try it, try not to get bogged down in the first half (more like 3/4) of the first episode, which is all framing device.

Handsome Siblings--There are a few adaptations of the novel Handsome Siblings is based off of out there. I'm talking about the 2020 version. And honestly? 8/10. For me this show is the best wuxia I've seen, and probably the most classically wuxia at that. It is very over the top. A lot of Villains and Heroes who are self aware enough to call themselves literally villains and heroes. But it's also doing a little commentary on this--Jiang Xiaoyu, the real MC, calls himself both a hero and a villain depending on the day, and the real villains who drive most of the overarching conflict of the show are believed to be heroes by the general public. Anyway it's just a lot of fun. I only take the last two points off bc 1) the deuteragonist, Hua Wuque, is a drag, and his romantic arc is even more of a drag, and 2) there's definitely some sexism going around--sexual harassment jokes, for example, and Jiang Xiaoyu being generally sleazy. So those are serious downsides but I think the pure fun of the show makes up for it. Idk I think it's worth at least trying out. (...just make it past the first episode and a half of backstory before you judge.) ALSO THE FOOD LOOKS REALLY GOOD.

Joy of Life--4/10. I'm biased; I don't like Joy of Life very much even though a lot of people like it a lot. But apart from that assessment. Imo Joy of Life is a parody and a genre mash-up and better watched after you've already watched one or two more serious (or at least earnest, if humorous) wuxia or palace intrigue dramas. Like, it's more fun to see the Crown Prince and Second Prince awkwardly feuding if you've already seen Nirvana in Fire princes doing the same with a way higher sense of gravity. Watching Joy of Life before watching a sincere wuxia or palace intrigue drama would be like getting into Watchmen as someone who doesn't know superhero comics--it's not like you can't do it, but it kind of feels like you're skipping a step. That said, you said recs for someone who hasn't watched "many" cdramas, so, depending, it might be fine. But I also just don't like it that much. I think the characterization and tone are kind of weak. (...in general, ppl disagree with me on this.)

Love Is More Than a Word--5/10. On the one hand, very slashy and very SHORT, which is not something I can say about many cdramas. On the other hand, disappointing ending. I'm trying to rec cdramas that make you want to watch more cdramas, not ones that make you say "huh, well, that sure was a show" or tear your hair out. But again, it's short, so if time commitment's an issue, you could do worse. And it has fun historical vibes and a litttttle political intrigue.

Nirvana in Fire--Subjectively 10/10. The first cdrama I ever watched to completion, the drama that hooked me on cdramas in general. And imo easier to follow than many political dramas, bc Mei Changsu (or Prince Yu or Jingyan, depending on the episode) always takes a moment to monologue to the audience surrogate (usually Meng) and say "if you can't tell what I'm trying to do here. This is what I'm trying to do." So it's not too overwhelming. Also it's just. really good. And a lot of ppl view it as one of the best cdramas ever. And there's an actual fandom with a lot of good fic. However, objectively, the first couple episodes can be confusing, and the show in general is kind of dry. so if I was being objective I might rate it lower but I'm not going to bc this is my list.

Sword Dynasty--2/10 the real question is why would you watch this at all. But if you're a beginner with cdramas maybe you wanna watch a drama with a lot of swordsfighting and that's valid. But maybe you should watch Handsome Siblings or The Flame's Daughter or literally any other drama instead bc Sword Dynasty honestly is just not good. And it's very confusing! So confusing! I honestly thought I'd missed an episode when I started the first episode and never quite got over the sense of holes in the narrative and characterization; stuff I felt like I was supposed to already know, characters I felt like I was supposed to already be invested in. There are some good actresses here and some nice fighting scenes but I do not recommend the show.

Weaving a Tale of Love--5/10 in that I wouldn't discourage watching it but I don't think it would be very rewarding as one of your first cdramas. It's got some lovely episodes--fun political intrigues, cute flirtations, angst, all the good stuff. The aesthetics are good and the main actress is really cheerful and just fun to watch. But it really takes its time getting started. The first couple episodes are backstory, and then you have to see Liuli as an adult, and then Liuli has to sort of meet some people and her love interest and do some shenanigans, and THEN you finally get to the main political intrigue and revenge subplot. I didn't get bored by any of these arcs but I think for a beginner it might get frustrating. It's also not good enough that I'd put it in a category of "something you simply MUST watch". It's popcorn.

Winter Begonia--7/10, but with emphatic pros and cons both. This show has a lot going for it: It's slashy. It's a historical, and not in a vague wuxia sense; it's set solidly in the 1930s and deals with culture and events of the time. Watching Chinese opera in this show is a great look at a traditional Chinese art. It also has a lot of adventure, intrigue, shenanigans... However, the tone might be off-putting to some watchers, because the tone is a bit hard to place. Sometimes it's very melancholy, talks about changing times and living in a country at war. Other times it's slapstick comedy, and characters are yelling at each other or chasing each other around tables. Or petty intrigue, opera-circle melodrama and sabotage. Often it's more than one of these things in the same episode, or even in the same scene. For me it took a couple episodes to really get a sense of what Winter Begonia was going for in terms of tone, so I don't know if it would be a bit difficult for a beginner in cdrama-land to get a handle on it. However, I've shown this show to my mother, who had previously only watched two other cdramas, and she enjoyed it a lot. So honestly I feel I can rec it with a clean conscience.

And now I should really go to bed.

[sarah-sandwich]

“that wasnt supposed to happen” from the prompts?🥺✨💖

Thank you so much for sending this! I had a ton of fun writing it! I definitely indulged in some delightful tropiness lmao

Content warning: they get fresh in this one lads (but not that fresh--rated T)

Undercover? I thought you said under covers...

The ballroom is warmly lit, dark wood floor shining under designer shoes. High-class socialites mill around with crystalline glassware held in well-manicured hands as a tinkling piano melody wafts over the dull murmur of conversation occasionally broken by a neatly constructed and perfectly timed laugh. Somewhere close by, a fountain splashes pleasantly.

And Peter can’t take his eyes off of the appetizer spread.

“James, darling,” Harley says with a toothy smile, sweetness and charm wrapped around his drawl like cotton candy on a stick, “would you mind getting me a refill?”

Peter’s eyes snap away from the food and he falls back into character. Idiot.

“Of course, honey.” Peter takes the empty glass and in the same motion leans in, nose brushing his cheekbone as his warm soft lips press into the apple of his cheek and his body presses into his side.

Then he’s gone.

Harley tracks him as he crosses the room, heart fluttering and breath short.

“You two make a lovely couple.”

He tears his eyes away from Peter and faces Maria Leonetti, the hostess of tonight’s event, with a devil-may-care smile and confident but relaxed posture. He is Randall Johnson and he loves bumping elbows with the wanna-be one-percenters and trying to convince them to back his latest venture, but if it doesn’t pan out, oh well. So long as Daddy hasn’t cut off his stipend yet, he’s got nothing to lose.

What a freaking joke.

-

“Thank you, according to my mother we’re the talk of her book club but then again, she’s a horrible flatterer and an even worse gossip.”

Maria laughs, high and false and grating and he hates it here, he hates it here, he hates it here. For all of the glitter and shine, everyone here is fake, contrived, plastic. He hates it here.

Peter returns, so close the heat of him seeps through his suit jacket and warms him entirely. He holds out a champagne flute wordlessly, eyes dark on Maria as she turns to greet another lady in a fine gown that glistens delicately under the glow of the chandelier.

There’s mustard on the corner of his mouth. He ignores the offered glass and he swipes his thumb through it then holds out the yellow glob for Peter to see.

“Did you even taste it?” he asks. He was only gone a handful of seconds. How did he have time to hoark down an entire—

His mouth goes dry as Peter, still focused on Maria’s journey across the room, leans forward and parts his lips. Teeth scrap the pad of his thumb, followed by a sweep of tongue, and then he pulls back.

“Yeah, it’s good,” he murmurs, eyes narrowed on Maria.

A wheeze punches out of him but luckily it’s drowned out by a hearty chuckle.

“How long have the pair of you been together then?” the glimmer dress woman asks, hip cocked and long white hair spilling around bare shoulders. “Can’t be too long.” She continues, ticking off a list on fine-gloved fingers, “Still star-struck by each other, not bickering like a married couple, easily jealous.” Her eyes settle on Peter, a small smirk playing painted lips.

Wait, what?

Peter smiles but there are too many teeth for it to be genuine. “Can you blame me?”

Huh?

The woman turns to Harley and makes a show of looking him up and down, eyes lingering on his hands and his chest. “No, I suppose not,” she tells Peter. “You’re cute but it’s clear who the real catch is.”

Peter smiles again but the grinding of his teeth is nearly audible and there’s an aggressive slant to his shoulders that usually precedes Spider-Man throwing a punch. “Unfortunately, this catch isn’t going to market,” he grits out, “so you can just go and— and gossip about your latest spa day or whatever.”

The woman’s eyes light with interest and she cocks her head to the side as she regards Peter in earnest.

Uh-oh. Abort, abort!

“Excuse us,” he says, threading his fingers through Peter’s and squeezing his hand tightly in warning, “we need to umm— Bathroom.”

He hauls Peter out of the suddenly stuffy ballroom, abandoning the champagne glass on a random table as the woman’s eyes bore into his back until he shuts the door behind them. They’re in an empty hall, wide and polished—gold gilding on the crown moulding, decorative sconces adorning the walls, heavy drapes framing intermittent windows. He’s rarely felt so out of place.

He shakes off Peter’s damp hand and turns on him. “Dude, what the hell?”

“I know, right? What was that lady’s problem?”

“What’s your problem? She was playing with you. You almost compromised the whole mission because you got all butthurt over a fake relationship!”

Peter sputters. “Butthurt? I was playing the role!”

“What role? You didn’t bring up your hedge fund once.”

“Maybe that’s because I had to do double the work selling our relationship while you smiled and simpered at every pretty face that gave you the time of day!”

“Every pretty— I’m gay you idiot.”

“I know that but they don’t. Especially not after how you—,”

“Shut up, just shut up. We don’t have time for this. Did you bring it?”

“Of course I did. This isn’t my first rodeo.”

“You couldn’t handle the rodeo.”

“Oh ho! Big talk from the guy who doesn’t know how to use the subway.”

“Well excuse me for not growing up in rat pit city!”

“It’s been five years. Any dumbass could have figured it out by now. Well,” he smirks, “almost any dumbass.”

Harley steps up so they’re chest to chest and looks down his nose while Peter tips up his chin in defiance. “When this is over I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Looking forward to it, darling,” Peter says, uncowed, eyes sparking with a challenge.

He’s never backed down from a challenge and he isn’t about to now, but the longer he stands breathing in the scent of hair gel and soaking in Peter’s body heat, the faster he forgets what they were arguing about in the first place. His lips seem pinker than normal—maybe because they’re not chapped for once—and his hair is neatly styled rather than a frizzy curly mess. He sort of hates it. He resists the urge to dig his hand past all of that gel and ruck it up until it looks right again. His suit… well, it’s got nothing on the Spider-Man suit, but he wears it well. He looks good. He looks really good.

“What?” Peter asks.

He snaps his gaze back up to his eyes where he finds the spark has dulled to a curious glimmer.

“What, what?”

“You were looking at me weird. Did I get mustard on my suit too? Tony’ll kill me if I did.”

His mind transports back to Peter sucking his thumb clean and he takes a large step back. “No, it’s nothing. Let’s get back to the mission.”

Their steps echo as Peter falls into step beside him. “Didn’t look like nothing,” he mutters.

He pretends not to hear.

They slip into the private sector of the estate easily enough (perks of having one sticky boy as a partner) and after only one wrong turn (sticky boy’s fault), they manage to sneak into the private office of some rich jerk-off who throws fancy parties for wealthy socialites while he meets with HYDRA operatives and makes plans to create orphans.

“Give me the goober,” he whispers once they’re secure in the room. “You keep a lookout.”

Peter gasps, pretending to swoon. “You’re using my terminology.”

“Shut up and give me the thing.”

He plugs the goober into the USB port while Peter hunches near the door, listening for anyone who might interrupt them. Tony said the goober would take less than a minute to do its thing and then all they have to do is sneak back into the party, make nice with the rich snobs so they don’t arouse suspicion, and then retire to their safe house for the night as they wait to be picked up by S.H.I.E.L.D. in the morning.

Easy as pie.

“Peter,” he says slowly, staring at the laptop screen, “why does this say installing? Shouldn’t it be downloading?”

“Huh? I’m sure it’s f—,”

Peter cuts off as the laptop chimes and opens the loading screen for his and Ned’s unofficial (and illegal) Splatty Spidey desktop game, hijacked from the ever-popular phone app that Peter never shuts up complaining over.

“Peter,” he says again.

“That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“You dunce. Did you grab the wrong goober?!” he hisses. “Please tell me the right one is in your other pocket.”

“Umm.” Peter pats his pockets and his face goes more ashen with every second that ticks by.

He rips the USB out of the port, shoves it into Peter’s chest, and looms over him as he bites out, “If we get out of this alive, remind me to kill you.”

Clutching the goober to his chest, Peter says to his chin, “We’ll see if there’s enough left of me after Fury has his say.”

“No,” he says firmly. “I’m calling dibs. Your ass is mine.”

“What do we do?” Peter whispers, meeting his eyes. “Take the whole laptop? Abort mission? They need this intel now. Oh God. Oh fuck.”

“Hey, cut that out. Breathe. Let’s call Tony.”

Peter groans, tipping his head back. “Anything but that.”

“Okay, yeah we’ll go back in the other room and ask around if anyone has a spare goober for downloading and encrypting HYDRA intelligence from insanely secure—,”

“Okay! Whatever! Call Tony. Just shut up. I don’t need you to make me feel worse.”

He takes out his phone and says, “Kind of defeats the purpose of calling if I don’t talk to him.”

He hits dial while Peter growls and mimes strangling him.

“Hey Tony, we’ve got a problem.”

~*~

He holds his breath, clutching the lapels of Peter’s suit with a white-knuckled grip, keeping his face tucked against his neck like a toddler thinking that they can’t be seen simply because they can’t see.

A watched pot never boils. Surely there’s a similar saying for not looking at security guards with multiple guns holstered on their person.

Don’t look up. Don’t look up. Please don’t look up.

Drawers open and close, papers rustle, boots scuff hardwood until finally, finally, the door closes and footsteps rap down the hall. He lifts his head.

“Shh,” Peter says, barely more than a breath of air against his ear.

They’re nestled in the corner, Peter’s palms stuck to the ceiling, his feet splayed on the wall, and Harley balanced on his lap, back pressed against the ceiling, hanging onto Peter for dear life. Thank goodness this ostentatious prick loves high ceilings. Thank goodness Tony had the forethought to design dress shoes with thin enough soles for Peter to stick through.

Thank goodness he recently went to the bathroom or he would have shit himself when the doorknob started to turn and Peter slammed into him, hauling him up to the ceiling in a blink.

“Okay,” Peter says in undertone. “I think it’s safe.”

“How do we get down?” he whispers.

“Umm, hang on tight?”

“Fuckin’ worst plan,” he grumbles but nevertheless koala hugs his arms and legs tight around Peter. “I hate your guts.”

“Love you too, snookums.”

That’s all the warning he gets before Peter swings free from their corner, wrapping an arm around his back as soon as his hand is free, and drops. It’s a short plummet, all things considered, but it takes several months off his lifespan. They land with a thump and then freeze, Peter frowning in concentration as he listens and Harley stays very very still, not wanting to mess up his concentration and end up surprised again.

“Okay,” Peter says.

Harley releases a full breath for the first time in minutes and gets his feet on the floor. “What the shit, Parker. You were supposed to be lookout!”

“I got absorbed, jeez, sorry! You try reprogramming a USB drive with borrowed equipment, a killer time crunch, and a distracting cowboy breathing down your neck.” He puts his hands on either side of his head, expression tight with anxiety. “Ned is going to be so upset I had to erase the game. We spent hours on it. That was his baby.”

“Serves you right for grabbing the wrong thing for our super important S.H.I.E.L.D. mission.”

“Don’t rub it in.”

He sighs. “Did you get everything? Can we go?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“You think—,”

“I did, okay? The program had just finished running when I heard that mook coming down the hall.”

Harley pauses. “Hold on. You heard him coming before he got to the door? Thanks for the heads up. Unbelievable.”

“You’d have gotten all panicky! And I was sort of hoping he wouldn’t come in.”

“Un-be-lievable,” he repeats. “Let’s go. I want out of here.”

“We’ve still got to do more socializing. Hill said for at least an hour but two would better.”

He groans. He fucking hates it here.

“Come on. Stick close.”

They creep into the hallway, easing the door closed behind them, and then set off at a quick but silent clip down the long empty hall.

They’re nearly back to the public sector when Peter suddenly goes stiff, then grabs him by the sleeve and tugs him through a random door. He crashes into his back in the unlit room and kicks over a bucket as the door shuts behind him.

Too loud, too loud, too loud!

Peter curses and whispers, “They’re coming. Follow my lead and remember you’re in love with me.”

“I’m— Wha—,”

Peter grabs his tie and yanks. Their lips crush together but he’s not ready and their teeth clack painfully before he gets with the program and puckers up.

They’re going to be interrupted any second by people who could very well kill them for being where they’re not supposed to be. They were so close to getting away, to getting back to the party and—

Peter grabs him, hands on either side of his face, and glares into his eyes as he demands, “Focus on me.”

Well, okay.

In the low light of the closet, he can’t see details but he’s been watching him all night. The first thing he does is rake his fingers through that stupid perfect hair. He allows himself a moment to glory in being the one to mess it up, then shoves Peter back against a shelving unit, capturing those pink lips with his own. Peter gasps and all of his blood rushes south at the sound. He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and runs his tongue over it while Peter’s hands fumble at his sides tugging his dress shirt free from his slacks with a single yank.

He pulls back, winded. “What’re you—,”

Peter surges forward, sealing their lips together as his hands dive under the fabric, hot and firm on his bare skin.

He can’t breathe. He can’t think. All he knows is Peter Peter Peter. Peter between his palms, under his lips, breathed deep into his lungs and around his heart where he belong—

The door rips open and they spring apart, blinking dumbly into the light that spills in around the two security guards.

Oh. Right.

“Oh umm we were— We were—,”

Goon #1 snorts, interrupting Peter’s wide-eyed stuttering. “I think it’s obvious what you were doing. Get outta here. This area’s off-limits.”

“Which you should know,” Goon #2 says, “considering you had to cross the roped off corridor to get here.”

“We… We were—,”

“We don’t need to hear about how horny you are for each other,” Goon #2 says tiredly. “We’ve heard it all. Just go.”

Harley grabs Peter’s sleeve and hauls him out of the closet, nodding at the guards as they pass. He doesn’t let go and doesn’t slow as he pulls him down the hall towards the party.

“I’m straight,” Peter says over his shoulder just before they round the corner that will take them to safety.

He chokes on a laugh. It’s so not funny—it shouldn’t be—but after getting caught doing what they were doing and to hear raging bisexual Peter Benjamin Parker claim to be anything other than what he is after years of listening to him gush over Keira Knightly and Harrison Ford in equal measure— Well, it’s kinda funny.

Shaking with silent laughter, they round the corner and he releases Peter only to punch his shoulder.

“You asshole.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” he whispers. “C’mon, keep moving. I think we can safely leave. Neither of us is in any state to go back to the party.”

He’s got a point. Swollen lips, beard burn from his stubble on Peter’s chin, hair sticking up all over, suit wrinkled—he looks incredible and no one else deserves to see him like this. His stomach swoops at the thought that he did all of that. And Peter let him. He insisted.

“You’re looking at me weird again,” Peter mutters without looking as he ducks under the out of bounds rope.

“Can’t help it that you’re weird to look at.”

~*~

Peter yanks off his tie and collapses face-first onto the bed. He says something but it’s so muffled he can’t make it out.

“What?” he asks, pulling off his own tie and tossing it in the general vicinity of his overnight bag. He starts unbuttoning his shirt.

Peter rolls onto his back and repeats, “I can’t believe we pulled that off.”

“It would have been a lot easier with the right equipment.”

Peter groans and frowns up at him balefully. “I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I.”

“Never.” He shrugs out of his button-up and it and his gross fear-soaked undershirt meet the same fate as his tie. “Where’s my t-shirt from earlier.”

“Is it the one in the bathroom?”

“Maybe.” He ducks into the bathroom and holds up the gray t-shirt. ‘Midtown Tech’ is printed on it in red letters. Definitely not his. He pulls it on anyway. It’s a bit snug but he wants out of his monkey suit.

“At least I didn’t almost get us caught by being a bad kisser,” Peter calls out.

Excuse?

He steps back into the main room to Peter perched on the edge of the bed reaching behind him and pulling his shirt off over his head. His mouth goes dry at all of that skin and unbidden, he thinks of how it felt to be pressed against him.

“I’m not a bad kisser.”

Peter shoots him an incredulous look. “You practically bit me and then stood there like a statue.”

“You surprised me! How was I supposed to know you were going to throw yourself at me like that?”

“Throw myself at you? I was saving our lives! I didn’t see you coming up with any brilliant ideas.”

“Which we only had to do because you—,”

Peter throws his head back and groans as he stands and violently chucks his shirt into the corner. “Shut up about the goober already!”

“Make me.”

He almost regrets the challenge but then Peter cocks his head at him and something in his gaze sparks. He feels dangerous in that moment, skin singing with the thrill of it.

“Make you?” Peter asks, eyes darkening as he seems to notice his shirt for the first time.

“Bet you can’t,” Harley says.

“Bet.”

He holds his gaze, feet rooted to the floor, pulse racing, and chest tight. What the hell is he thinking?

“You’re looking at me weird again.”

“You’re still weird looking.”

“Was I a good kisser?” Peter asks, not looking away.

“Uh, I mean… You were fine.” Even he can hear the lie. He expects Peter to laugh or resume mocking him. He doesn’t.

“Harley, come here,” he says.

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m closer to the bed and if I go to you we’ll just make out against the wall again.”

Oh. Oh shit.

He swallows thickly and uproots his feet. “You were lying about me being a bad kisser.”

“I was,” Peter says, dark eyes heavy on him. He puts his hand on his hip and for what feels like the millionth time tonight they’re breathing each other’s air, standing in each other’s body heat. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that all you have to say? Does this mean I win?”

God, he doesn’t care about some dumb bet. He just wants to kiss him again.

“Yeah, Pete. You win. Are you going to kiss me or what?”

“You want me to?”

“I think that’s obvious.”

“Okay, but why?”

“Why?” he parrots. “Why do you think?”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Is this a kink? Some kind of power play—,”

“Harley, please,” Peter says, as serious as he’s ever seen him, an anxious line between his eyebrows. “I’m just trying to make sure I’m not about to get my heart broken here.”

“You…” He stares as his brain misfires and his synapses short circuit. “You… me?”

Peter laughs nervously. “You’re killing me. Just… What is— For you, how— How do you—,”

He moves in, cupping Peter’s face in both hands and smooths his thumbs over his cheekbones. Peter sucks in a sharp breath and his hands curl loosely around his wrists.

“Pete, sweetheart, I’ve been gone on you for years.”

“Oh,” Peter says quietly.

“When did you figure it out?” he asks.

“Figure what out?”

“Don’t play dumb. It’s not cute.”

A tiny smile twitches Peter’s lips but it vanishes as he licks his lips and says, “It was… It was in the closet. I told you to act like you were in love with me and you looked at me like you already were.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” He smiles again, small and almost shy. “So are you going to kiss me or what?”

He does.