#it's a problem with me
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Huh
#i know people say “create what you want” “dont create just for others validation”#but. man. it stings when I make something and people don't care#It's been happening a lot with my mlb au and like. i get it. i am not entitled to people caring about my stuff#but it also is likely part of the reason I feel so lost rn#I don't know what to do#I feel like I'm being entitled and dependant but I still can't just stop feeling this way#I want to make people feel things with my work!!! I love it when I can invoke emotion!!!#which is probably why i loved misc. everything was so dramatic and people ate it up#I've been thinking about working on misc again#tbh the biggest reason im even continuing to do anything with my mlb au is because of 2 friends who talk with me about it#with the collision there's the added reason of wanting to get far#but I would've lost motivation and interest very quickly without them#the novelty has worn off. hasn't it?#I know that I'm not supposed to be dependent but I am.#I don't want to be but I am.#and i dont know how to fix it#I've been trying to create what I want but just seeing disinterest makes me feel sad#maybe im just being a baby about it#I know that not everyone has time to actively engage#I know some people might like my stuff enough to like or view but nothing else#I'm not mad at anyone for not reblogging or commenting or actively engaging. this isnt and never was a problem with you#it's a problem with me#and probably the reason I've been feeling rather shitty recently#and im just. lost.#UGH im sorry for rambling I'm just. ughhhhhhh
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Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job
#adhd#autism#Dad: Don't worry little man it's super simple! Just let me - the figure you seek support from - tell you to not be afraid#and then - stay with me here! - juuuuuust do it!#voila. my job is done you're welcome have fun doing all the research and figuring out without issue now <3 no problem#(and no of course I won't acknowledge your previous adulting accomplishments bc that's just expected stuff anyway)#||#vent#i guess? man#i don't have opinions or feelings on the internet often but man
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people who dont experience it cannot comprehend how awful executive dysfunction is. I WANT to do the task, i have the resources TO do the task, i will feel better having DONE the task
but i cant fucking do the task
#executive dysfunction#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#it makes me scream#i hate it so much#adhd#adhd problems#neurodivergent#neurodiversity
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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Shared here today by Matthew Boroson on Facebook. (ETA: Gaining inspiration from other authors is great. Lifting passages and avoiding giving credit isn’t.)
Tanith Lee was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award for best novel, for the second book of the Flat Earth series. She died in 2015. You can buy Tales From the Flat Earth here and here .
#neil gaiman#tanith lee#I had no idea#this has made me even angrier#and also clarifies a few more things for me#anyway I thought you’d want to know#eta: inspiration is not plagiarism — the problem is not that he was inspired by other works#most good authors are#the problem is lifting passages#and the other problem is not crediting inspiration where it’s clearly due
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feels like fake news
#writing#writing memes#fanfic memes#fic meme#please send help I cannot finish anything nowadays which is rare for me and freaking me out#fanfiction#author problems
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Doey's 2/3 angsty traumatized teen, I think he'd love MCR
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime chapter four#doey the doughman#pianosaurus#I like to think Pianosaurus would have been a fun jokey kind of guy. He could have been so fun but nooo 10 seconds of screentime#he lives on in my heart. he gets a boss battle TO ME. He's so fun to draw please whyyyyyyyyy#Orange hand is Matthew (responsible 15y/o) Red legs is Kevin ('problem child') and short Yellow is Jackie (the kid who fell into the vat)#Jackie is too young and from a happy family. he would not know MCR. Matthew and Kevin would have listened to The Black Parade album on loop#Ignore that Black Parade came out in 2006 and Hour of Joy was 1995- emo music transcends time#my art
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Your first pride story was touching and all but you still married a man.
Yeah, bisexuals do that sometimes.
#thank god the first people i encountered in the queer community didn't have this shitty pov#because i spent 16 years feeling like an imposter in my ultra conservative christian community because i liked girls and boys#and if my first terrified forays into the queer community told me i was an imposter there as well#unless i performed my queerness to their specific liking#I cant imagine how lost I would have felt#pro tip: if you're telling someone they can't be part of the family unless they deny a part of themselves#you are part of the problem#bisexual#lgbtq#queer#gatekeeping
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*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this
#I know exactly why I’m like this but why am I like this#I know what’s wrong with me but wtf is wrong with me#adhd autistic#audhd creature#cluster a#cluster b#cluster c#personality disorders#bpd stuff#late diagnosed autistic#cptsd recovery#did osdd#bpd#audhd#adhd problems#audhd problems#borderline personality disorder#complex trauma#mood disorders#anxiety disorders#psychotic disorders#neurological disability#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#trauma disorders#traumagenic
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Chronic pain pisses me off cause I'm not even incapacitated for like a cool or badass reason instead my body is throwing the world's biggest temper tantrum because it's raining outside
#it feels like i got jumped by seven people but NO#if my body is going to make me feel like ive been stabbed five thousand times i should at least get a sword fight out of it im just saying#fibromyalgia#fibropain#fibro problems#fibro flare#fibro#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#chronic illness#hypermobility#hypermobile#hypermobility syndrome#spoonie#disabled#actually disabled#disability#c punk#cripple punk
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people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem
#neurodivergent#adhd#autism#executive dysfunction#shoutout to my dad lmao. mr ‘just outthink it!’#fuck! dude i never thought of that#waiiiit wait youre telling me all i have to do to overcome the Problems is put my mind to it#ok lemme consult the mind rq#im back. the mind is what has the Problems#my post#dave speaks
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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something that drives me insane on a relatively regular basis as a body jewelry understander is talking to people who have sensitive skin who are like "oh well I just can't wear any earrings without my ears getting inflamed" and I say "well what have you tried" and they say "well I've tried sterling silver and I've tried gold..." and it's like. ok. I don't know how gold and sterling somehow got spun by the jewelry industry as being especially good for sensitive skin but whenever I'm like "well have you tried implant grade titanium" they're always like "no....... but I've tried sterling silver... and it didn't work ..." like. I don't know how this narrative about sterling silver somehow got so strong but when they put pins in your fucking legs when you snap your leg in half are those pins made of sterling silver or are they made of implant grade titanium or surgical steel????????? HELLO. HI. YOU MIGHT BENEFIT FROM TRYING IMPLANT GRADE TITANIUM I AM JUST SAYING
#if I have had this conversation with you. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at whoever lied to you about various metals.#look I completely understand if your body happens to think that your piercing is an open wound for two decades#I have been there.#and I promise you the answer. is implant grade titanium.#there are many solutions to this problem one of them is implant grade titanium the other is surgical steel sometimes.#the other is sometimes if you can stretch the piercing to like... 10g#you can put a surgical grade silicone sleeve in there and then you can use cheaper metals for earrings#because they will not be touching your flesh they will be touching the silicone sleeve.#anyway the point is#someone should pay me to be some sort of piercing advisor.#there has been a lot of progress made in the area of body safe metals in the last 50 years is the thing#and we are fortunate enough to live now and not 50 years ago.#the mainstream jewelry industry has not exactly caught up with this.
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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hunting down a specific image but finding miscellaneous storyboards/some cut panels from the stan comic story instead
#someone with the b&n version of the comic pls.... pls show me the extra pages#(cos i ain't paying again when i dislike 1/4 of it lmao)#the original storyboard for ford's dream not having the boat/swingset/portal....#NOT THE CLONE DIPPERS HAVING A PIC OF WENDY! ENOUGH!! YOU TWO HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS#thats it im working on an old fic again about existential crises and missing your twin who isnt your twin anymore#so then you become your own twin...? truly the healthiest way to go about this#mabel pines#dipper pines#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#im guessing this first storyboard is from the petting zoo short#but mabel posing in the stan's tattoo one is making me lose it#kinda wish we had more s1 storyboards#heck i wanna see the deleted scenes too#cos the ones we got were all s2 except for that one dreamscaperers one with the alt bill intro
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