#it's dangerous to go alone

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2632

Spirits, where did you get all these pictures of Astarion? (Dialogue from tumblr.)

[bellewannabe]

This is how I see these two on tumblr. The internet is really confusing let alone tumblr. It's nice that they have a buddy system.

@reallyndacarter @teamlynda

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

It's Dangerous to Go Alone! Take This!

🦩

[randomperson2u]

It's Dangerous to go Alone Take This!

[edenavari]

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this

[cat-cosplay]

It's dangerous to go alone.

[spicyvampire]

[ber-hadi]

It's dangerous to go alone, Nero! Take this with you

[the-frostiest-of-flakes]

Wait! It's dangerous to go alone. Take this

[sysmedsaresexist]

When they ask for your diagnosis papers

[sn0id]

It's dangerous to go alone, take these with you

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2636

(Dialogue based on a tumblr post.)

[atamascolily]

Is this not how it happened.

[portraitoftheoddity]

My parents were apparently worried about me hiking alone, so they sent me this in the mail today...

[existennialmemes]

It's dangerous to go alone, take this!

[sucks your clit]

[linksthoughtbrambles]

A Public Service

A silly little fic for Linktober 2023 Day 22 Prompt: NPC. Zelda 1. 680 words. Big thanks to @bellecream for beta-reading!

Link peeked into the cavemouth flickering with torchlight, relieved to see an old man inside and not a moblin.  “Oh!  Hi.  Sorry if I’m intruding-“

“It’s dangerous to go alone,” the old man said.

Link’s mouth snapped shut with a one-eyed squint.

“Take this,” the man continued, offering Link a wooden sword, hilt-first.

“Uh.”  Link eyed the meager space, nothing but bare rock, the two torches, and this guy.  There wasn’t even a reed carpet for him to sit on.  “Do you… live here?” he asked.

The old man appeared not to have any idea what to do next.  He continued inching his outstretched hand toward Link, as though proximity was the only reason Link hadn’t already gripped the hilt and charged into the great unknown.

“Why do you have a sword?”

The old man glanced around the cave, a bit of sweat appearing at his temple.  “It’s dangerous to go alone.”

“Oookay.  Why don’t you go with me, then?”

A nervous grin appeared on the old man’s face.  “Ohh, oh no, lad.  I should stay here.”

Link blinked at him a few times.  “I could… stay with you, then?  Do you feel unsafe?”

The man shook his head with vigor.  “Of course not!”  He threw his head back and laughed three “Ha!”s that sounded more like the guys who’d been running the same mud-show act at the carnival for the past three decades than anything else.

Link stared at him, then at the pommel of the sword.  “So… why do you want me to take the sword so bad?”

The old man’s eyes peered all the way to one side, then all the way to the other.  “Look, son, just take it.”

“Why?!”

“Don’t you want a sword?”

“Well, sure, I-“

“Then what’s the problem?”

“It’s just weird!  Why are you hanging around in an empty cave waiting to hand a sword to the first total stranger who walks in?!”

“Why do you have a shield and no sword, young man?  Isn’t that also ‘weird’ as the young’uns say?”

“I’m not standing in a cave waiting to give a rando my shield, am I?!”

“Just take the damn sword!”

“WHY?!”

“Because it’s dangerous to go alone!”

“I’m still alone if I have a sword!!”

“You’re a little safer!”

“You’re not, you’d be alone with no sword and apparently no home either because this sure doesn’t seem like a place of residence!”

“I live two screens south of here in Ordon, thank you very much!”

“Then what the hell are you doing here with that sword?!”

“WAITING TO GIVE IT TO THE NEXT IDIOT YOUNG MAN WHO DECIDES TO GO NORTH INTO THE LIVING HELL CALLED HYRULE!”

“OH SO I’M AN IDIOT, AM I?”

“YOU CERTAINLY SEEM TO BE CONSIDERING YOU BROUGHT A SHIELD AND NO SWORD!”

“A SHIELD’S BETTER THAN NOTHING!”

“A sword and a shield is better than that!  NOW TAKE THE DAMN SWORD!”  He waggled the hilt in Link’s face with a half-crazed, open-mouthed frown, his breath whistling between his teeth.

Link glared at him with narrow eyes and a curled lip.

The old man’s eyes narrowed right back at him.

Link snatched the hilt and held the sword begrudgingly at his side.

“Good.  Now be careful,” the old man said.

“I’ll try.”

Now the old man’s finger was in his face.  “NO trying.  Do.  I’m sick of all these young men off to take the triforce back from Ganon, as if they’re some kind of legendary hero.”

Link went pale.

“Take.  Care.  Of.  Your.  Self!” the old man said, each word punctuated by a hard poke of Link’s chest.  “If it gets too rough, go home!  Royals and their triforces – ha!  They can stick them.”

Link blinked.  He swallowed.

And he walked out.

The old man sighed, shaking his head as he deflated, his shoulders slouching.  “Impa’d better hope I never see her again.  What a right old she-wolfos.  Single-handedly sending all the younglings off to slaughter.”

He continued muttering to himself as he reached inside his robes and pulled out the next wooden sword to wait.