#it's going on the backburner until season 2 comes out

[im-no-jedi]

was gonna post the next chapter of my Infested fic today too (cause uhhhh I keep forgetting about it 😅) but nah, there’s been too much official stuff today, I ain’t gonna clog the tags with that nonsense lolololol

[jordli]

i know i made a joke post last night about my "takes" regarding the finale, but here's a most serious post detailing my takes on the season + finale, as well as where it leaves my portrayal for jordan and this blog. spoilers under the cut!

season takes;

i really enjoyed this first season. as a college student myself, i found myself relating quite a bit with the dialogue + the way the characters act. granted, i'm not a supe (thank god) but... it felt real in ways that not every teenage/college based show does. so kudos to amazon for that.

big fan of limoreau!!! (yes that's the ship name, i did my research for this post...) love the enemies-to-lovers trope, but i do wish they'd had a slight better build-up. i feel like their relationship, imo, was a little rushed + came out of nowhere but... it's a queer relationship so you know what, i'll let it slide

finale takes;

loosely spoke to zawn about this last night, but i do think jordan could have taken sam in the beginning scene. i don't think it would've ended well, but i do think jordan is the only one out of the group with the abilities to actually... fight sam. (but i think there will come a time where... they won't be able to. like sam is going to become too powerful.)

big fan of cate + sam joining the seven. not only from a story standpoint, but also just keeping longevity for the franchise type of way? marvel (their movies) really failed at bringing in their new/younger cast and making them feel embedded in the story, which they're ultimately paying for now. i feel like the boys franchise is trying to avoid that and they've done in properly, imo, so far.

loved the finale coming full circle: jordan beginning the season protecting/saving marie, marie ending the season protecting/saving jordan. truly a moment for television history imo. but my god why was jordan walking so slow across that grass...

i do believe the theory that the godolkin crew is being held by victoria. it only makes sense to me, and i just saw a reddit post saying andre is even holding a phone in the scene. i don't think vought would allow their prisoners to have a cellphone. so yes, i believe victoria has them because it's in her best interests to keep marie and co. alive!

where it leaves my blog + portrayal;

as far as my default/main verse goes: i'll probably make it pre-series. just off the basis of, once you enter the timeframe of the season, it's literally day-after-day stuff. i literally think this whole season takes place in the span of 2 weeks? like literally in canon?

activity will still remain consistent, but since the season is done airing, i do want to start returning to some of my other blogs that've been put on the backburner (@the2000bug for starters, where yes— i will be adding more characters from gen v)

if i do write threads post-season, i'll run under the theory that the crew is being held by victoria! at least until stated/proven otherwise.

jordan is over this shit yall: thats the main take away

[astralscrivener]

hello :3

28, 40, 55, 74 for the writing ask pls 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

hiiii darcyyy. you've opened a can of worms with these asks i hope you know

28. what area of writing do you want to improve in?

literally anything that isn't dialogue FTHYRTHJFGHYJFYG i can do dialogue all day every day but i really need to get better with like. settings. weaving the description in instead of painting a long word picture in one paragraph. character actions too. i love writing group scenes. group scenes are agony. where are you all standing. is someone holding a mug. where the fuck did i put the bayards. also just like. writing prettier sentences in general. so many fic writers have absolutely banger passages like shit that gets put on pillows on redbubble and i want that.

40. what is your favorite world that you've created for a fic?

oh boy this is an interesting question. several worlds i have now stolen to repurpose for my own original writing. i had fun with the magic and medieval-ish setting of as long as i'm breathing (i'm not leaving) and its sequel. i also had a lot of fun w the shadow people from klance au month 2019 and your eyes, they shine so bright (i want to save that light)

i also had a lot of fun worldbuilding when i was writing deceit so natural, particularly the politics with tarvin and also the bolza system. i wrote the majority of dsn between seasons 2 and 4 and so there was a Lot we didn't know about so i just went balls to the wall on the worldbuilding

55. have you noticed any patterns in your fics? words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

i was literally just thinking about this today but "[x]'s scream tore raw from their throat" comes up a lot. i love making characters resort to their most primal instincts. love to see agony and achillean rage.

i also have been on a blade keith kick lately. i've posted . 2 or 3??? oneshots recently about keith being with the blades and suffering about it, or even just grappling with his abandonment issues and his anger issues and his galra side and his violent streak, and i have at least two more about it on the backburner. in general i think i have somehow ended up writing a lot about anger and grief and abandonment issues. can you tell keith is the primary character i write

at the same time i am also constantly writing established relaitonships. i love a good established relationship. the pining is fun to play with but there's a much larger part of me that finds more enjoyment of writing characters navigating their relationship and its challenges, or just facing an outside challenge and knowing they have each other to lean on.

74. do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

OH BOY DO I. look i loved squad up / the rawring 20s but my modern au fics get the LEAST effort from me, i like them the LEAST out of all my fics, but they're the simplest and easiest for people to read so i get why they get more love

there is a lot about deceit so natural that is cringe and that i would go back and change, by virtue of being 17, a mediocre writer at the time, and also there's stuff we didn't know about yet (gay shiro or allura's age, for example), but i had a fucking BLAST writing it. it took me all the way until season 6 to finish it (i started it between s2 and 3) and so any time canon disappointed me i could just go do what i wanted. established klance, an absolutely baller team dynamic if you asked me, lotor being absolutely fucking bonkers. the twists and turns in stars go down were FUN and i think i need to be that mean in my writing again. someone in the comments commended me for actually letting the characters have a horrible time and i think about it constantly

AND RIGHT NOW THERE IS AT SKYFALL, WHICH IS DSN VIBES BUT WITH BROGANES. please i literally have so much planned for this you don't even know. the chapters are dsn length instead of soopits length. i'm going to explore lance's anger. i am going to put keith and shiro through it. adam is so fucking confused bro. PLEASE

anyway thank u for the asks i'm thinking about beating up keith again

fanfiction writing asks!

[brandwhorestarscream]

In cyberverse jettwins au you mentioned that both megatron and slipstream can be the sires of the twins.

How do you imagine their relationship with these two?

I assume you're referring the singular post from the judge jettwins au, yeah?

Um. Well. Given that they weren't born until Starscream has already become The Judge and are half-quintesson abominations like their carrier... I honestly don't knowm it's very possible they'd also be hyper-destructive and bent on burning Cybertron to the ground right alongside their carrier.

But, let's say for arguments sake, that they aren't. That they're more or less normal babies, and something-something-progression-plot-yada-yada happens, and they manage to talk Starscream down and berid of the quintessons. At this point in time Slipstream is super dead, but lets just say she's not. Idk. Bludgeon didn't kill her. Whatever

If she's the sire, uh. Shell shock to the absolute MAX. She probably only slept with her commanding officer cuz he was in heat and she got her name drawn (lucky glitch). His trine were unavailable for one reason or another, so she got to spend like a decacycle fucking Starscream into next year and it was awesome, but it's not like they kept personal contact or anything. Their relationship was strictly professional. She's honestly completely frozen when it comes out that she sired those two little tentacle monster bitties.

She strikes me as the type to maybe have wanted to be a sire before the war, but that was a dream that was permanently tucked away on the backburner when it became clear that the combat wasn't going to end anytime soon. Now... Primus. She has such a weird mixture of feelings about it. The shock, obviously, but... weird excitement? Terror? Dread? An odd desire to be near them and peotect them but also kinda repulsed by them because they're half-alien quintesson abominations. Even she has no idea what feeling is most dominant, she's just so lost.

And Megatron... god. Cyberverse Megatron was so one dimensional. I loved him, don't get me wrong, he was a dramatic ass bitch, seeing him go from gladiator to revolutionary was cool, and his gay af dying-in-OP's-arms will ALWAYS be iconic, but... damn. I don't know what to do with him here. I don't even know if he and Starscream would have ever had a concensual sexual relationship. I hate throwing that out there, and I don't make that statement lightly. But like... all of Starscream's memories of Megatron, primsrily shown right before his major mental breakdown in season 2, were extremely negative. Full of pain and belittlement. Megatron didn't hesitate to literally beat Starscream to death after (what was implied to be) the first assassination attempt. If he's the sire, they very well could have been rape babies. And if that's the case... Megatron might be disgusted by their existence.

He probably never wanted children of his own, and having them with Starscream never would've been something he planned for (unless it was a plot to control his SIC, and we could entertain that possibility if you want). Seeing the two monstrous baby eldritch horrors suddenly just mitosis their way out of Judge Starscream's body is pretty gross, and he likely wouldn't even acknowledge or claim them as his own. He may even wanna put them down like he does their carrier 🤔

Anyway, I'm done spitballing. Those are my first thoughts

[klaineownsmysoul]

G/Lee practically limped to thr finish line at end of S6.. they had a reduced no. Of eps coz of decreased viewers.. they had nonsensical and absolutely ridiculous SLs.. Dalton burning?! Dedicated eps for a spoilt brat who non one liked, seriously who looked at that character and Said oh he's so inspiring!... Why are there rumours of reboot swirling is beyond me..

I believe the industry term you are looking for with regards to glee's ratings towards the end is "dumpster fire." Oddly enough, that term also covers the storylines and plots those of us who were left had the distinct displeasure of enduring. "Clusterfuck" would also be applicable here. Everyone I knew IRL - including my bff who turned me onto the show in season 1 - had long since abandoned it, which is why I was pretty sure it was just like me and 3 other people watching by the end.

Season 5 was dropped from the usual 22/23 episodes down to 20 and season 6 was limited to 13 eps and held until mid-season: that doesn't really inspire a lot of confidence in the direction of the show, does it? If show quality is any measure, it was pretty clear that RIB was done with glee by that point. They were completely checked out and just wanted to get this over and done with so they could move onto other things. Between them not caring, RM's love affair with his golden girl LM (more on her later), and his immature vendetta against the best thing he accidentally did - Klaine - there was very little to enjoy over those final 13 eps. When you focus so heavily on a main character who is as unlikable, selfish, and just downright horrible as Rachel, shit gets old real fast. I'm also pretty sure they had some kind of competition going in the writers' room to see who could come up with the worst storylines that allowed them to continually push Klaine to the backburner. Every week it was some new bs to focus on that wasn't their core couple: an out of left field sort of "romance" between Rachel and Sam that ended just as fast as it began but made sure to suck up plenty of story and song time while it lasted, that awfully stupid plot with the screechy 11 year old that made no sense at all but was the focus of an entire show, Kurt getting to do exciting things like holding Rachel's purse for her and continuing his lot in her life as second fiddle and ego booster, and let's not forget adding in a whole bunch of new kids no one asked for as the show moved back to a place (Lima) that no one wanted to see again, and of course the piece de resistance: the terrible horrible no good very bad thing with Blaine and DK.

Anyhoo...to your question about why rumors of a reboot are swirling around now? Its fairly simple I think: another stop on the LM Redemption Tour and a trip back in time for RM to his biggest hit. 2 birds, one stone. LM's career and image have taken a massive hit over the last couple of years and so why not go back to the role that made her a household name and work with one of the few people who not only tolerated her awful behavior but seemed to actually reward her for it with whatever she wanted, no matter how much the overall product suffered. RM could use a hit and so why not reboot his biggest and most lucrative one? The problem is that people are a little more hip to things now: consider the massive backlash he got when RM posted that little rumination about a reboot a while back on Insta. It was so bad he ended up deleting the post so you would think he'd have learned from that but apparently not. If he's involved and if the show goes forward with something resembling the idea posted in the blind - focusing on a Rachel-like character - that would be the easiest and quickest no I've ever uttered. No second thoughts necessary. No hemming, no hawing. Just No. No No No.

How would that be any different from the show we watched the first time around? I've had enough of Rachel to last me 3 lifetimes so there's no effing way I'd want to start a new show that I know going in will center around someone as insufferable as her.

No Klaine = no me. Its a simple equation. I don't think C would ever want to work with RIB again so no C = no Kurt so I'm out. You cannot recast them because no one else will have the chemistry that C and D shared as Klaine which is what made them special. We all know there are people out there capable of giving Klaine well written and meaningful stories to tell but those people do not include the ones who created them in the first place. The idea of someone else getting praised and cheered online for giving Klaine the kinds of moments they deserved would be such a massive hit to the oversized ego of RM that I don't see it happening.

I truly don't know who would watch this except for the Rachel and LM stans who think both are perfect angels. This is a bad idea that doesn't need to happen. Its nothing more than a pathetic attempt to relive old glory and the irony of it all is that the person wanting to go back is the one responsible for the original show's own downfall.

[d2kvirus]

17/1/24 Fact or Fiction

Statement #1: John Wick: Chapter 4 was the best movie of 2023. ABSTAIN - As I haven't seen it (or, you know, John Wicks 2 or 3) I can't say whether it is or is not the best film of 2023, though I can say it would have to be pretty bloody spectacular to dislodge Oppenheimer, Godzilla Minus One or Suzume (due to the UK release being in 2023, it counts) from my personal top three. Thought there is one way to say John Wick 4 was the best film of 2023, and that is if I say that The Stray's was my second-favourite film of 2023, with literally every other film (including ones I haven't seen) ahead of it. You get the feeling that I thought The Strays was an irredeemable pile of shite, don't you...?

Statement #2: You want to see more “experimental” horror movies after the success of movies like Skinamarink and The Outwaters in 2023. FACT - Although hopefully not "experimental" as a euphemism for "half-baked crap carried by its visual style", because I don't want another Cosmopolis and/or Crimes of the Future experience if I can potentially avoid it

Statement #3: Moving forward, the MCU needs to pivot away from the Kang character and the “multiverse” in general. FICTION - The MCU definitely needs to pivot, as 2023 was the year where people caught on to how it is the very definition of "content" in the reaction channel definition of the word, but what it needs to pivot towards is something that shakes the formula up. Oh who are we kidding, this is Disney we're talking about, so they'll just do an MCU/Star Wars crossover

Statement #4: The Last of Us was the best TV show of 2023. FICTION - It was good, in fact it was very good, but Inside No 9 takes the crown for me, because which other show can have people raging about an episode being bumped for a gameshow and then getting wrongfooted as the gameshow was the episode? And that's barely scratching the surface...

Statement #5: The only thing left worth watching on network TV is live sports. FICTION - Partly because Inside No 9 is on network TV in the UK, and partly because live sports is either the dregs that Sky or BT don't want such as darts, snooker, darts, crown green bowls and darts, Six Nations matches other than England home games (which are on Sky, along with the one song their supporters sing when England are at least 10 points up with five minutes to go...) and because the live football is almost inevitably Manchester United's match in every single round of the FA Cup until they're eliminated

Statement #6: The producers of the Scream franchise need to do whatever it takes to get Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega back. Barrera already met with Spyglass Media a week or two ago, and that meeting lasted all of 45 second between her walking in and walking out again. In other words, Spyglass need to accept that they fucked it and put the franchise on the backburner

Statement #7: You find it annoying that streaming TV series can have any random number of episodes per season and new seasons can sometimes take years to come out without any explanation. FICTION - In terms of streaming platforms, there are far more annoying things they can do with shows, such as cancel them after a season or two, or what Crunchyroll did a couple of years ago and put 95% of their shows behind a paywall with zero warning, while All4 found a new way to be annoying in 2023 by heavily advertising a couple of shows but neglecting to mention that they'd be leaving the platform within a month. So if anyone would like to let me borrow their Apple TV account so I can finish watching The Girl from Plainview...?

Statement #8: We won’t see any theatrical events in 2024 like we did in 2023 with Barbenheimer or the Taylor Swift concert film. FICTION - Guaranteed somebody will try to manufacture one like that at some point in 2024. Actually, scratch that, attempts at forcing another Barbenheimer have already happened as we saw desperate attempts to make Saw Patrol a thing with Paramount even tweeting about it, though we were robbed of ExorSwift when Universal lost their nerve. That being said, if a cinema did happen to show Oppenheimer and Godzilla Minus One at the same time, there is still time to make Godzenheimer a thing. Come on, people!!!

[soyster-writes-fanfiction]

Progress Check

Main Priority:

Strangers on the Front Line – rewriting (again, i know)

mystery story – 2/???

Side Priorities:

Fuel to the Flame – on hold

Still Breathing in the Ashes – on hold

To You, Ten Years Ago – bakugo extra on hold

wow, i suck, don't i? i have recently (as of a couple months ago) realized that strangers on the front line is under my expectations, and it's been steadily gaining on me that keeping up the way i am currently writing it is a fool's endeavor (ha). so, instead of running that sinking ship any further, i'll be doing another rewrite that will focus more on the actual plot rather than the introspection bits that i seem to have a problem writing too much of. i won't take down anything yet, and i'll post them up when i have at last a couple chapters for proof of concept. thankfully, i have drafted out how i wanted the plot to go, so i won't have much work in the way of planning. i just have to stop myself from sinking into internal monologues again.

as for the mystery story, i have a couple of chapters now written. i want this to be a full release, where i publish a chapter once a week after it's fully written. that way i'll have actual consistency in my schedule as well as something fully-thought-through before i commit to any more hellish rewrites. it's going to be an interesting piece, though the fandom i am writing it for is about five years past its prime. it's definitely a concept i wished i had seen done when the show was just released.

everything else is on the backburner, but they're still in production. i figure that the bakugo extra for to you ten years ago may come out eventually, but that story is finished as far as i am concerned. my rewrite for fuel to the flame may also go the way of the mystery story, with a full release scheduled over many weeks. i'll see how i can get that done. still breathing in the ashes is something i really ought to get back to writing, but i need to give both series (at least the first season of both series) a rewatch before i can get back into writing them.

i know this is a big info dump that probably won't be read, but it's good to word vomit my (eventual) plans for some transparency. i've been super busy with premed courses and it's likely that i will be taking the MCAT this fall and graduating next spring. i don't imagine my workload will decrease in that time, but i want to give my stories some love in the meanwhile.

until next time!

[variousqueerthings]

okay here's some thoughts?

you know how Terry seems really pissed off after his first encounter with Daniel, in which he "sincerely" apologised and said he would undo it if he could

only to turn right around the second time they talk (out of two times only!!! this season) and tell Daniel that he liked it

Terry - the long game Terry Silver - has had a plan from the second he decided he would return to Kreese. Just because he thought he and Kreese were on the same page, and more, that Kreese had sincerely come back for him, only to be disappointed in that, doesn't change the fact that he was laying out pieces early on:

1. Expanding Cobra Kai

2. Waiting until the right moment to face Daniel (and get a look at Pretty Boy Johnny)

3. Putting out feelers on who to pay extra attention to - Robby, Tory, Kenny (and it's going to be Kenny, now that Robby is out of the picture and Tory - I think - can see through his con)

4. ... Daniel goes on the backburner - Daniel isn't going anywhere, hell, one look at him and he freaked. He's got a couple of things to take care of first (testing Kreese by targeting Johnny), but there's no rush...

I would love to know if he was genuinely angry at the car, and if so, how come. He wasn't feeling jilted by Daniel not trusting him, it wasn't a real gesture (as Daniel rightly called)

Was he pretending in front of Kreese? Did he feel a certain amount of genuine anger that he couldn't easily worm his way back in? Or is he just remembering how he didn't actually get what he wanted last time?

Whatever it is, by the time they talk in the store, Silver is confident, hell, he's not even hiding at all - he could have continued the schtick easily - I'm a changed man, I wish I could undo it, it hurts me that you can't forgive and move on - but he didn't even bother, not even to taunt Daniel

You liked it... I wonder if that won't be his angle in the next season...

And considering how Daniel described it to others (and I feel like it's safe to assume he described it the same way to Johnny as he did to the others? I do wish we'd had that scene darnit!) perhaps there is that part of him that is scared that he did like it, that he wanted it (that he deserved it)

the two things that keep Daniel from being able to let Johnny in and cause his constant kneejerk reactions are the fear that he could let Miyagi down (again, as he sees it), and the fear that he might let others get hurt by people like Terry Silver

I think Terry Silver knew. No need to hurry these things. Just wind him up for now and get out of the way. Daniel knows he's coming for him...

[emmys-grimoire]

Lesson 62 Summary & Analysis

Apparently I didn't save my banner template last time, so I'm not using one any longer. Not sure if they worked in drawing more attention, anyway!

Everyone's I.Q dropped about twenty points to make this lesson possible.

The Story

The party is over, so we head back to the House of Lamentation. We didn't get to choose between the HoL and the Demon's Castle, apparently. I'm not sure what the point was behind dangling that option in front of us, really.

MC ignores their squabbling over their attention and heads inside. They find an antique box in the common room.

Apparently the brothers have been using it to collect our letters over the span of our most recent absence.

Predictably, each brother is desperate to monopolize MC's time, which ends up giving none of them any alone time with them. They end up crashing in MC's room and playing cards.

Prior to this Beel and Belphegor leave to take a bath. They return and we note how they seem to have returned to their normal selves. What a coincidence!

We all bunk in MC’s room, sans Satan and Lucifer. Satan arrives to wake us up and interrupts Asmo doing Mammon’s and Levi’s nails as they sleep. Guess what happens...

Yep. They’ve swapped personalities.

We go to Lucifer and Satan for help. We all muse over it for awhile until we finally note that the common denominator is Asmo using his new nail polish. Apparently Phantom Spring nail polish doesn’t always have this effect on demons, but it appears Asmo’s fits the right conditions to trigger the personality-swapping curse.

After more oblivious head-scratching, we come up with a solution.

Drowning them with water magic! Instead of just asking them to take a shower or something.

Lucifer is a real Sherlock. He came up with this all by himself. Who would have guessed just washing off the nail polish would have worked?

Finally, once the lesson draws to a close, Diavolo spends another node hinting about what he wants to talk to us about before he finally just tells us his proposal.

Not only does he intend to enroll us into the exchange program again, but he wants us to join the Student Council in an effort to win the acceptance of the Devildom and the other two realms. This is his alternative to having us formally join the family. Of course, there’s a catch: we’ll have to complete a difficult trial to win us a spot. We’re given no choice but to agree, but the details are presumably left for the next lesson.

The side node involves the brothers and MC trying to prank Lucifer and Satan with the nail polish. We successfully paint Satan’s nails while he’s sleeping, but Lucifer wakes up before we can do his because apparently we’re shouting our plans into his ear. He flips the script and invites MC to paint his nails, but surprise, the curse doesn’t work. It’s either because Lucifer is too strong or Lucifer and Satan are too similar in personality for anyone to really notice a swap.

No hint of the new characters in normal mode. Might be a different situation in hard mode.

Analysis

We are given some soft Mammon and Lucifer moments, I guess, but otherwise this lesson was a giant flop. They filled so much space with them just trying to figure out it was the nail polish causing the personality swap, then had Diavolo spend most of the time afterwards just dancing around what he wanted to ask us. This season doesn’t feel very promising so far.

The only noteworthy thing that may warrant mentioning is the fact that Lucifer and Satan are getting along and working together very well now. They’re notably the only brothers not pestering MC for attention. It’s a nice change of pace. Everyone else is back to their S1/2 shenanigans (Mammon’s territorial and possessive, Asmo is horny, Beel is hungry, Belphie is sleepy, etc.)

Predictions

I expect we’ll learn the details of this trial and undertake our first task. We’ll get a few more lessons of doing these new tasks before the new kids finally arrive. Simeon’s issue will continue to be on the backburner and hinted at in hard mode lessons: they’ll bring that back up only when they need to start building up for a climax.

Until then, they will follow the same formula they used in S1 and S3: do x task for x trial, add some romantic fluff in between. Throw in the new guys somewhere.

So far, not impressed. But it’s also only the first two lessons.

[dodo-begone]

Now Listen Here Sad Bitches - Stop Being Sad

Pairing: Yan!Xisuma x Reader (idk if it's rlly yan tbh)

Request: If you’re up to it can I get yandere nHo hcs? Bc I’m desperate for nHo content, But if you don’t know enough about the nHo boys can you do a continuation of your yandere xisuma fic? bc it was really good👀

Word count: 5k words

Warning: Falling, Depression, Death, Yandere (?)(just a bit posessive/protective at the end), Bit of confusion/memory loss, Mention of Running Away

This is a Part 2 to Ugly Fuckling

If this EVER looks funky or glitched, here's a link to it on Ao3.

_______________________________________________________

A methodical ticking echoes around the room, the only indicator that time was passing. The room was nearly a blinding black, yet a ray of moonlight made its way into the room. From that, you were able to see Xisuma. Without his helmet covering his face, he looked much more welcoming and soft. It wasn’t like he wasn’t soft and welcoming anyways, he just looked so much softer and approachable. A real person - man what were you even thinking?

Mentally shaking off that train of thought, you let your mind wander onto a different topic. Since Xisuma stopped you from following through with your impulsive decision to leave, he hadn’t exactly let you out of his sight. A few of your activities were free from his supervision, but otherwise you were with him.

At first you felt like an absolute bother to him, but his insistence that it was all fine made things better. Minimally better, if you were to speak honestly. It didn’t alleviate your feelings at all. He was being so nice and attentive to you and your needs. And what were you doing with that? You were being the little debbie downer that you are and not getting better. Come on, this was all for you. That meant you had to get better for him since he was putting so much effort into making you get better.

He made you all of your favorite foods, cuddled you any time even a tear fell from your eyes, asked about what was worrying or saddening you and trying to talk you through it to feel better, and so much more. All around it was everything you needed, really it was. Everything was getting better, yet you weren’t.

This had been going on for days, and you were still thinking of leaving. Though technically you did. Maybe the entire server moved with you. Maybe that fact could be ignored. Maybe. Everyone gathered up and went to a new server not too long after your most recent “escape” attempt. You weren’t sure if it was the unsaid yearly move to a new season or what, but it seemed a little too convenient if you thought about it. But thinking was a laborious and bothersome task. So no thoughts - only depression. Yea, that’s how things rolled for you.

The thought of leaving was far from leaving your mind. It was always on the backburner, but became a prominent thought whenever you weren’t with anybody. Especially Xisuma. Voices whispered to feed your insecurities, giving a source for your depression to grow off of. And boy was it growing. Adding in this new move made you question a bit more.

You knew you wanted to leave the server because of how icky, disgusting and disappointing you were, but now you were truly realizing where the issue lay. Wel, you knew before, but it just became more evident. It wasn’t the server itself. The issue lay between you and the hermits. So that feeling of not belonging? Still rather prominent. Even with their fresh new start where everyone had the same resources, said “resources” were nonexistent since everyone started with nothing, it was rather evident you still didn’t belong.

Grian was the only one who didn’t build a “starter house” immediately. That made two hermits you knew who didn’t make a starter house. The two hermits being you and Grian, so that made you feel better. Until you found out the reason he didn’t make a house was because he went to defeat the Ender Dragon and get loot from end cities. Yea that really didn’t make you feel better. And these “starter” builds the others made were no joke. They weren’t even starters, in your opinion. These were whole builds in and of themselves. Like things you’d be building late game, if you even got around to making anything that could compare.

Once again, your mind cemented that you were very alien to this group. Alongside the “new fodder” that you had, which was really recycled thoughts, memories, or insecurities, you started to cry. Stifling your sobs without being able to cover your mouth with your hands is a very hard task. All remaining strength you had went into calming your breath and being as silent as possible. You still allowed the tears to continue their route down your cheeks with no intent to stop them. If you only allow tears to flow with no noise, you can get your emotions out while not bothering Xisuma. A win-win.

Time was illusive, slipping through your hands like sand. One moment you were crying next to Xisuma in bed then a blink later you were waking up in an empty bed. The ever annoying sun was flaunting its energy and jovial beams into the room and blinding you with it. Man, how you envied the sun. It was able to get up every day and do its duty. And not even the duty it was exactly made for. One that it conveniently worked with. A necessity to life.

Still, you layed in bed. Too lethargic to move on your own; there was no will or energy to move. Well, there was one reason; you wanted to search for Xisuma. Where could he have gone off to? He wasn’t in the bed. Somewhere else in the house? Out on a project? Who knows. The likelihood of him being gone was high and that, along with the thoughts, kept you in the bed.

The day passed. Maybe you slept. You were still very tired and very sad, so it really made no difference in the end if you did actually sleep sometime that day since nothing changed. Snuggling into the blankets for warmth and comfort, you awaited for Xisuma’s return. Though you don’t remember him saying that he was going anywhere in particular yesterday. Did he? Memories blurred together and multiple days became one mushed memory. Many memories of him mentioning future projects to you or other things came to mind. How recent were those? Mulling over your memories, you tried to pinpoint when they happened based on some other memories. You referred to them as your “time reference memories”... They had a different name, but the name eludes you. But that was their purpose, so that name shall stay.

Soon a plethora of other memories came to mind as you quickly sorted through them. So they obviously didn’t take place in the same time area-frame thingy as when you joined the Hermitcraft server. That was months ago- clearly off the table. Then did they happen around the time you were building the trash on the server? Also a big no- that’s way too early. Oh dear- all the memories that were popping up were far too early. Crap- think. Think, think, think. Come on, more recent. What about when you tried to leave? Well it happened after that, but much closer.

A flash of memories pass behind your eyes yet you can’t decipher all of them. It was obviously some memories and you could faintly see some things, but it was all a blur of colors. You didn’t have the time for this right now. After you figure this out, you could reminisce on them. Now you had to figure out which memory out of the blob you had was most recent-

Staring at the ceiling did nothing to help. No new spark of memories came up, even with your mind scrambling for any scrap it could get its little grubby hands on. Great- now you were stuck going off of his appearance and what the house looked like during those times. Now the dilemma was “which came first”. Almost every memory took place in the house.

Wait! He didn’t have the diamond armor in all of them! Only two of them had diamond armor involved. Specifically on Xisuma. You didn’t have anything on this new server. Well, compared to him or any other hermit, anyways. To say you were behind or “lagging” was an understatement. Having iron armour isn’t really a flex. Especially when it goes missing. Like who just up and loses armor like that? You do, apparently.

That isn’t the point. Stay focused! So he had armor, what did the house look like? Or anything outside the window?

Finally a lightbulb went off in your mind. Of course! He talked about a fire last time. Yes, you were sure of you. Not sure why but you were very sure of that fact. He mentioned that some gravel on a mountain was on fire and he wasn’t sure why. Then he talked about a building in the next memory… Everything was starting to add up! Oh you felt so smart right now. So good.

So what mountain did he say he was going to? It was a villager hall, right? Or was it the future place for a build… No, villager hall because he mentioned villagers and trading. Obviously not another build. But what if it was? Now you were conflicted because you were so sure but at the same time doubt pranced around your mind obnoxiously. Your anxiety was getting ticked off more.

First the disappearance of Xisuma and now your worries are getting to you? Really, it was the opposite order. More of an Oreo, but that wasn’t important.

Taking a deep breath, you try to get your thoughts under control again. Regain you cool. Alright. If you find Xisuma then you can calm everything else down. That was your biggest worry right now. The longer you didn’t know Xisuma’s location and condition, the worse your mental state became. From there, it was obvious how everything would decline.

All you had to do was go to Xisuma. Right. Go to Xisuma. Who is outside. Out of the bed. Debating on whether or not to leave the comforting confines of the blankets or search for Xisuama was definitely something. It was hard but also wasn’t all at the same time. Because yes, staying in bed and being warm would be amazing. The preferred option. But you were worried about the lack of Xisuma’s presence. That took precedence over comfort.

Grumbling, you slowly start to drag yourself out of bed. More accurately rolling out and only turning to properly get out of bed and onto your feet. Same end result really. Slowly, as to not cause a dizzy spell, you get up and walk toward the door. Said dizzy spell still hits you like a baseball gets hit by a bat, but there was an attempt. Black overtakes your vision for a second before everything goes back to normal. Boy you didn’t miss those pounding headaches with dizzy spells. Damn vertigo.

Shaking your head, you steady yourself for the journey to the outside. It was going to be perilous. Well not really, but your mind tried to come up with the worse case scenarios. Like some Dream SMP members coming for you to drag you back. Or pillagers near or at the front door. Or some other nasty mob. Oh the possibilities were nearly endless. But you had to do this.

Hyping yourself up, you mentally prepare for what you could think of. Aka prepare for something bad like pain. To be fair, pain would be better than a Dream SMP member but pain still hurts.

A noise of annoyance leaves your lips as you once again try to get yourself back on track. You hated how easily distracted you got sometimes. Though it did help in some situations. Admitting to that wouldn’t be too helpful in any regard so back to ignoring it you go.

Soon you’re back on track and continuing your journey. The only thing standing between you and the outside world stared at you. The front door. It wouldn’t be for long. All you had to do was open it and then start the other leg of your journey and- wait.

The door greeted your face with a nice hearty slam as you walked right into it. Confusion was just written all over your face. You grabbed the knob, did you not? Taking a step back, you peer down. Low and behold, you were holding the door knob. Your brows furrowed as you twisted the knob. Nothing happened. Trying with more strength and vigor or whatever might do something? Maybe it’s just stuck. Unlikely but hey! Delusions are much sweeter and easier to swallow. Plus being more violent with an inanimate object makes it work! Usually, anyways. Beat a banana and you get mush so not always. That’s besides the point because the darn door still refused to open. Huffing, you try being a little harder with the door. Though that leads to nothing but you fearing it breaking. One creak escapes the poor door and you’re off of it like a puppy squealed rather than a door.

Anxiety started to bloom in your chest for the uptenth time or whatever. It’s happened a lot and that’s all that matters. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. It’s just a door. If it breaks it can be replaced. Also it’s a door. It’s probably fine. Though you didn’t exactly want to test that. Who knows when the door is going to just say “nope! I’m done” and just break?

Leaning against the door, you slide to the floor as you think of another plan to leave. The door was locked, right? This is a brand new door we’re talking about. Rust couldn’t have shut it already, right? You were by the sea though so who knew what the salt and water was doing to it. That ruins doors, wood, and mentals, right? If only you were a builder or someone more fluent with stuff like this. Someone who knew how stuff like that worked. Because wow, you were beyond dumb on that subject.

You curl up in defeat. Bringing your knees to your face, you wrap your arms around them to secure them. To feel safer and smaller. Block out the world. All you wanted to do was stay there, just like that. Not that exact position, but you want to feel comforted and safe. A craving for belonging and love. Although something you craved, whenever it was just handed to you or offered, you turned it down. Nobody actually likes you. They just want to use you.

Everyone has used you in the past for something.

Tears started to form in your eyes. As you lift your head from the curl, you take a deep breath. This is annoying, tiring. Crying is useless right now. Nothing is going to be fixed this way.

As you subdued the tears, you looked around the house again. There had to be another exit, right? Maybe. Half of the houses you’ve lived in only had one entrance or exit. The other half either had a secret exit or another doorway. This wasn’t one of the latter, though. It was one of the former; you were only informed of one way to exit or enter the house. Xisuma didn’t mention any emergency escape. Well there weren’t any holes in the house besides that- OH WAIT!

Smacking your forehead, you scramble to your feet and look directly at the closest window. If it had the ability to, it’d probably be sweating out of fear or anxiety. Either or, that window wasn’t going to have a good time. Fortunately for you, though, the window couldn’t judge you. And the window is very easy to climb out of.

Walking closer for inspection, it didn’t seem like it’d be too hard to open. Just flick a latch or two and just lift the bottom. You’re home free after that. The latches weren’t an issue. Grabbing the bottom of the glass, you silently pray that it won’t be as stubborn as the door.

Some deity was feeling nice today because the window opened without much trouble. A little elbow grease but that was a small price to pay. Now started the awkward maneuvering to get outside. This was one thing you didn’t miss from your past.

First a leg, then the other, and slide later, you land ungraceful into the outside world. Either you were going to land on your face or bum and you didn’t want any of that. So instead you did a nice little dance.

Okay so dance would be the fun way of stating it. What happened was you stumbled around for a bit, waving your arms around in a desperate attempt to regain balance. But you get to stay on your feet, so the trade off of your dignity was well worth it. Plus nobody was around to see it.

Once balanced, you were in awe of the builds that were just a wall away. How much has changed since you last came out? How long were you inside? You only remember the comically tall portal and the partial build of the portal tower being around when you came. Besides the starting house and a few other small things, of course. But now there were two completed towers. The dark one was obviously the portal tower because of the color scheme. What was the other than? It was colored like a lighthouse with the red and white bands encompassing it, but you didn’t want to say anything definitely. After all, it was somewhat hard to tell.

The coloration indicated a lighthouse, along with the silhouette, but it looked a bit too artistically done. And when something is artistically done, it could be anything. So you’ll call it tower two! Tower two was rather pretty!

Xisuma wasn’t around though. Right. The mountain wasn't around here, was it? Where was it, anyways? It must’ve been pretty far away.

With the prospects of a long walk ahead of you, your shoulders slump. Dear lord, this was more work than you wanted to go through. Who knows how far it is! But it wasn’t just some walking for fun, it had a purpose.

Gathering your remaining energy and grit, you start the laborious, long, and treacherous journey through the continent for Xisuma. Hiking wasn’t your strong suit and keeping an eye out for Xisuma too? This makes everything so much harder.

You were only able to get off the island and back onto the mainland, where you started to scale the mountain before you heard a ruckus. Progressively, it got louder and more discernible. Yelling. Sounded like words. Gibberish, but it slowly grew clearer.

“Oh my gosh,” danced with the wind by your ears. “Oh no.” A cry of your name, or something really similar. Were those words? Those couldn’t be words, right? Whipping your head around, you see Xisuma running your way frantically. Okay, so those were most definitely words if the scene before you proved anything.

Excited, you start your descent back to the ground. Step by step. Is it step by step when you’re climbing? Your focus is on Xisuma. Pretty much entirely. It really shouldn’t have as you misjudge the next step. In the blink of an eye you went from viewing rock to viewing sky and a scary feeling building in your chest. The feeling grew exponentially and it didn’t take a genius to know what was going on.

A scream ripped its way from your chest as it tightened more. Said scream doesn’t last long for it ended as quickly as it came. No air could move, no noise could come out any more. Air was stuck in your throat, unable to reach your lungs. Fear paralyzed your muscles, eyes shut for there was no difference in the view. Everything was blurred and the black was more welcoming and comforting.

Too fast. Time wasn’t even a consideration. A social construct thrown out the window as soon as your fingers lose contact with the rocks.

The ground had to be near by now. It felt like hours passed now, but at the same time everything seemed to be zipping by.

Contact is made, and you expect it to be the end. You grunt as all remaining air is forced from your body. Another noise came from beneath you. Gasping for air, panic made you feel so cold. Is this what death felt like? No air was coming in and you definitely hit the ground. Were you going to die because you slipped up?

Black was encompassing your vision once again. Frantic attempts to regain air were barely rewarded for your lungs remained mostly empty. Everything still felt paralized, but now your chest felt worse. It hurt so much.

Something was moving beneath you. Pink entered your failing vision. It shifted you around, moving your head and body. More accurately, it moved. Your head was placed on a soft surface while your body was on something else.

Slowly your vision ebbed back to reality. Or you did. Everything still felt wonky. But an axolotl helmet came to greet you. That was a nice thing about your vision clearing, you guessed. Pretty pink axolotl.

“Are you okay,” the axolotl shakily asks. It’s hands were shaking and it sounded masculine.

“Yea,” your voice felt and sounded weird. Very airy, frail, and kinda delirious. You know, the “I don't feel right” type of delirious. Is that delirious? Oh wait you were talking! “Yea i’m good.”

“Are you sure,” the axolotl keeps persisting. It seemed to be looking over you for any injuries. How nice of it! “Double sure? Triple sure? No scrapes? Nothing hurts?”

“I’m absolutely sure,” you assure. Man this was a comfy place and you wanted to stay here longer, but you need to get standing. With shaky arms and legs, you unsteadily get up, stumbling or leaning a bit too much at times. The axolotl panics and helps you to your feet, never letting go afterwards. You thank it for its help and try to walk away, back to Xisuma’s house. Though it assists you, staying by your side as if it were attached with cement.

“You need to stop doing stuff like this,” it begs, leading you by the elbow. “It’s like everytime i’m gone, you purposely go get yourself into trouble, get hurt, or try to leave. I don’t get it. Why do you keep doing it?”

To say you were confused would be an understatement. What’s it even talking about?

Suddenly a thought hits you like lighting and everything starts to line up. This is literally Xisuma. How did you forget that? He changes skins with every new season. Wow you either hit your head, panicked and forgot every important detail ever, or you really needed the oxygen for those brain cells because they finally got what they needed to function.

“Sorry,” you really are sorry. For half of those things, if not almost all of them. If you were simply allowed to go back to the Dream smp in peace, you would be completely fine. Not a bother to the hermits, not a walking hazard to society, and you wouldn’t feel inadequate anymore… Actually that wouldn’t go away no matter where you went or what you did. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”

Xisuma doesn’t reply to your words and you start to panic again. “You weren’t in the house and I got really anxious, okay? I didn’t remember where you said you were going and I just… I needed a hug. I know that sounds stupid or childish, but i wasn’t feeling good. And you said that if I needed something, I'd just have to go to you. Oh who am i kidding, this was the dumbest thing ever. I’m so so sorry for bothering you-” Tears started to well up in your eyes, blurring your vision entirely. You were thankful that you weren’t walking alone while like this. Who knew what else you’d get yourself hurt on.

Not only were your words stopped, but your whole body was too. Jerked back by Xisuma, your teary eyes look directly at his visor which only reflects back your pitiful face. Though you don’t see it for long as you’re pulled into a hug by Xisuma. This only causes you to cry harder.

“Hey hey hey,” Xisuma’s voice is a low murmur, a comforting rumble from his chest. “It’s okay. It’s alright. Did I not tell you where I was going before I left?”

Shaking your head, a tiny “no” escapes you between sobs. Xisuma just hugs you tighter and you snuggle closer. That’s if you can, but you still try.

“Oh i’m so sorry,” he starts to pat and rub your back in a comforting manner, repeatedly apologizing for forgetting to tell you. And other things. Though you can’t exactly tell what they are through your sobbing.

It takes ages for you to calm down. You don’t really have much to go off of, besides the sun. What was once a noon sun glaring down on you was a peaceful sunset over the ocean. When you finish crying, only shaky breaths and tear stains remain to show off the previous crying fit. That and the red eyes.

The sunset is pretty, so you focus on that. Positioning your face to not have it smooshed into Xisuma’s chestplate was a struggle since he was holding you so tightly. But you managed. Soon your face wasn’t full on smooshed into his chest plate, only the side. Your cheek was definitely doing that pancake thing which smooshes out like a flat tire.

Everything’s so peaceful and quiet. Only the waves and sea life disturb it, but it made a great background noise. Xisuma soon adds to everything with some light humming. Rumbling from the chest is so comforting. Why was it such a forgettable yet amazing thing? It felt so nice.

With the humming came some rocking. Going side to side, humming a nonsensical tune. Not long after, you join in as well. Yours was definitely less consistently though, for it was broken up but little giggles. The longer you two went on, the more you giggled.

His arms unwrap themselves and you feel disappointed and saddened by the loss. You needn’t wait for long though, as on both sides of your body, you suddenly feel a tingly sensation. Bursting out into laughter, you try to struggle away from the tickle attack Xisuma has launched on you. But he’s relentless, keeping up with your retreat. It’s only when you’re out of breath, on the ground, and playfully yelling your surrender at him, that he stops.

You two start to calm down again. Laughter slowly ebbed away to chuckles or silence. Not an uncomfortable or awkward silence by any means. A safe and comforting one.

“Come on,” Xisuma prompts, getting up from the crouched position he had to be in for his attack, giving out his hand when he was properly on his feet. “Let’s get home before mobs start to spawn.” You’re more than happy to take his hands. With a pull, you’re brought back to your feet. But you two don’t let go of each other’s hands.

Together you two finish the trek home, and rather quickly too. With the sun setting, it was just a matter of minutes before danger would appear. Luckily you two made it to safety without any issues. The beginning area Xisuma had set up was well lit, safe from the dark and the dangers it harbors.

Being back in the base area made you feel more at peace, calmer, less endangered. Whatever you wanted to say, but you felt safer. And everything looked so pretty at night! You really need to come out more with Xisuma. Staring in awe at the builds in a different light, you and Xisuma dawdle on home.

Everything was perfect again. Just like before. You were happy, Xisuma was happy, what else could you need.

Xisuma walks ahead of you to unlock the front door, to which you say a little “thank you” out of habit and slip on by him and into the house. You do mean it, but still, it’s a habit drilled into you.

After getting back into the house, with some idle chit-chat, you start to get things fixed up in the house. Some dinner was in order for the two of you. After all, you just tried to climb a mountain to find Xisuma and who knows if Xisuma actually ate today. Plus you haven't had anything to eat yet. Whoops.

Leaving Xisuma to his own devices, you continue your conversation as you prepare a meal.

You don’t notice him locking the door and windows, or the dark look he has when he sees the window open, or him putting the keys in his pocket after locking all of the other windows. When he doesn’t reply immediately, though, you turn toward the last direction you heard him from, only to reveal an empty house. Perplexed, you look around a bit, but are stopped by a tap on your shoulder.

Jumping, you whirl around to see Xisuma without his helmet on, chuckling at your reaction. Laughing along with him, you give him a nudge with your hip. He returns it, laughing harder when you’re bumped away from him. This goes on for a while as you cook dinner, with Xisuma helping you.

The night goes on like this. Full of gentle, playful antics and a loving atmosphere. The love you felt was immense. You hadn’t felt happier in months.

Xisuma hasn’t been so scared in months either.

He should’ve secured the house better. Made sure you were fine before he left. Locked the windows before he left.

Now he knows to lock windows. You’d try to use them in the future. Better a situation where you went looking for him than you leaving him. But now he knew.

And all was good again.

[systematicmasspoisoning]

Who is Sam's prison for?

If you're not up to date in DreamSMP lore, Awesamdude, resident Redstone expert, was paid stacks of diamonds by Dream to make an inescapable prison. It is located in the ocean next to Bad and Skeppy's mansion and is VERY large. Supposedly it will be using Elder Guardians to keep a prisoner from mining out due to Mining Fatigue. Even if the prisoner dies of hunger, they will respawn inside. This brings up the question of how

1. they force the prisoner to click a bed inside the prison

2. how they keep the prisoner from breaking the bed.

Regardless of the mechanics of the second one, I think the first is a clue as to who Dream will trap inside the prison. Consider the 3 canon deaths lore. He has used the threat of permanently killing Tommy to get the boy to comply and click on a bed in Logstedshire. So a 'permanent death if you don't comply' is definitely an effective tactic but ONLY for people with one life left.

The main two options are Tommy and Tubbo (or Philza). Or, Dream is planning on knocking another one of his potential opponents, such as Quackity, Fundy or Techno, down to one life in the time it takes to build the actual prison.

Quackity and Fundy aren't big enough threats yet, although Quackity certainly has the potential to be a threat, in this season of the SMP, El Rapids isn't big enough of a threat yet.

Most people would assume Dream's biggest enemies on the server are Tommy and Techno. Techno's role in the grand scheme of things is, as of now, undetermined. However, as Techno is one of the authors of this SMP season, he likely has something up his sleeve. He is currently 'retired' alongside Phil in their Antarctic Empire skins in a snowy biome, but he has made appearances in Tommy's streams to mock the boy for getting exiled (just like Techno predicted with the Theseus analogy.) An alliance between the sleepbois is possibly in the works, but right now, both Tommy and Techno have made it clear there is still a lot of animosity between them. So I don't see Techno, and by extension, Phil becoming much of a problem for Dream (for now.)

Tommy, on the other hand, has been visited by Dream almost every stream while Tommy is exiled; Tommy has been manipulated by him, gaslighted and threatened. Despite making the very real threat of giving Tommy his final death, Dream has stopped Tommy from any, um, self-harming actions. Dream told him "I need you alive." Narratively, that means that Dream has plans for Tommy (they are, after all, each other's main antagonist). But Dream has also said that Tommy will remain on exile for a long time and he told Bad and Sam as they were building the prison that he doesn't intend on using the prison on Tommy (unless he begins to act up was implied.)

Because Bad and Sam (and Eret) are working with Dream, I would assume imprisoning anyone from the Badlands is out of the question. But I think it's interesting how Sam is the primary leader of the building project.

Dream said that Sam is the only one who will totally know the ins and outs of the prison. So that possibly means Sam is the only one who would know how to escape the inescapable prison. The interesting thing about Sam being included in this storyline is his connections. He and Tubbo are very close, and Sam is also friends with Tommy. Its not long of a stretch to assume that Sam's storyline might eventually lead to HIM breaking out whoever Dream imprisons. Tommy, for now, is out of the equation, so who does that leave?

Tubbo. Someone who many people are now considering Dream's puppet. Dream has been laying on the manipulation lately, playing chess with him, complimenting him and trying to increase the wedge between Tubbo and Tommy. You would think Tubbo is safe, so long as he remains pacifistic and continues to make decisions that are to Dream's benefit. But there are things going beyond the scenes that we, the audience, need to consider. The script.

Symbolism and chekov's guns have been sprinkled into the story line for a long time, and it feels as though the roleplayers have upped the ante. It's hard to think about Ghostbur' compasses without crying, but I literally can't stop thinking about what they mean. When it comes to the duo, despite their estrangement, Tommy still considers Tubbo one of the most important things in his life. He placed the "Your Tubbo" compass right beside his discs in his enderchest. Meanwhile, Tubbo held his "Your Tommy" compass in his offhand nearly all stream today. They still care for each other, obviously, but think about one of the reasons Tubbo exiled Tommy in the first place.

He felt like Tommy was choosing the discs over everything else. He felt as though the discs were the only thing Tommy cared about. There has to be a resolution to this. It's been shown by the story that the discs and Tommy's other obligations (L'manberg, his friendships) cannot coexist together for long without it driving a wedge between them.

Tubbo has been streaming more Among Us lobbies and modded Minecraft lately. When he comes onto the server, he nearly has nothing to do. He loves big project and building houses, but as of now, Tubbo has so little materials to even bother making a home and his largest project, the ocean monument, has been placed on the backburner while Sam builds the prison. Its almost....its almost like Tubbo is preparing his audience and for a period of time where he has no reason to be on the SMP. If he's imprisoned, that's not very good content to watch, is it? I also noticed that Dream pointedly did NOT tell Tubbo about the prison today, instead referred to it merely as a 'project.'

My biggest theory is that the prison is for Tubbo. Tubbo is complacent to Dream now, sure, but Tubbo is very, very smart, and- most importantly to Dream - he still has one of Tommy's discs. And Dream wants it.

When talking sweet to Tubbo no longer works, I think the prison will be the next best option. Its possible Dream will frame Tubbo for some crime (foreshadowed by how Quackity and George tried to frame Eret for Karl's murder), or someone will threaten to overthrow Tubbo and Dream will bring him to a 'secure location' to protect him. Tubbo is very nervous about losing his one life, as exhibited by the safe room under the L'mamberg podium, and other comments about his fear of becoming the next Ghostbur. Dream said that he would protect Tubbo if someone tried to overthrow him. The only threats to Tubbo's current presidency is El Rapids. Ranboo is willing to wait until the next election to become president, but Quackity has shown a strong willingness to do terrible things in order to get power. In Quackity's war against Eret and Dream, Dream made many, many references to Tubbo being a better leader, possibly sowing jealousy in Quackity's mind. Sapnap, George and Karl, as apart of El Rapids also have a bone to pick with L'manberg and may also play a part in further separating Quackity from L'manberg and fueling his desire to be the most powerful nation on the server. Absorbing New L'manberg could be the next step.

Dream could pretend to protect Tubbo by bringing him to a 'safe location', the prison, and getting Tubbo to willingly set his spawn inside. Once it comes to light that it's a prison, with Dream his captor, Tubbo will have to make a decision. Give Dream the disc in his enderchest, or stay imprisoned. Freedom, or the disc, a compromise that has been made time and time again on this server.

I think that Tubbo will hold out and allow himself to be imprisoned, while Tommy returns from exile to make a prison break, with the help of Sam. I doubt that will end well, knowing Dream.

I also think at some point, one of the boys will need to bend. Either Tubbo choses to give up his disc to Dream for freedom, or he decides to take the disc with him to his grave. Its basically the Exile decision all over again. Life/freedom, or the discs/war. Selfishness vs. selflessness.

The two boys are learning throughout this current arc to be more like the other. Throughout his Exile, Tommy will learn to be self sufficient and has had to make big sacrifices consistently as Dream blows up the progress he's made. He's learning to chose his own life over property. Meanwhile, Tubbo (although he's only streamed on the SMP once so far this week) has already shown regret for exiling Tommy, and inherently by choosing to launch a war campaign against Techno, he is learning to chose war and bravery over peace and cowardice. He will gain an appreciation for the disks and/or recognize with greater understanding what they mean to Tommy. Maybe he will learn to care deeply for his compass and learns how willing he is to wage war if the compass gets stolen. It's about the symbolism - its what the object means that is worth protecting.

I think Tubbo will die protecting the discs. Or, Tommy will tell Tubbo to give it up. This is a better ending, in which Tommy will learn that the discs represent is his friendships. And, according to Ranboo, they also represent power, according to Ranboo. But on the server, according to Wilbur (when he asks Tubbo to spy for him) people have always represented power.

To Tommy, in this arc, I hope he will learn that keeping the discs is not worth losing his best friend.

[dukeofonions]

The Problem With Asides

Before I get into anything I want to clarify that this is not going to be a criticism of the two Asides episodes we’ve gotten so far. This is a critique of the concept of Sanders Asides as a separate series from the original Sanders Sides. A second note I want to make is that this is, just as all my other posts are, a personal opinion. This is not meant to be an attack on anyone, just a general criticism from a confused writer and viewer of the show. 

And final disclaimer: A lot of what I’m going to say is based on information that I no longer have available. It’ll mostly be me recalling things I heard and if I at any point get something wrong please feel free to let me know. 

That being said, let’s get into this, shall we? 

(Fair warning this post is very long hence why I’ve divided it into parts so feel free to read then come back as you wish)

Part One: The Concept of Asides

Some time ago last year, I believe shortly after Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts came out, was when the idea for Sanders Asides was first announced. The basic concept of it being shorter, more lighthearted videos focusing on the Sides outside of the main storyline. This format would allow them to give us more Sides content in between the long waits for the main series since those episodes were beginning to take more time to produce. 

Of course, everyone was eager for more Sides, so the majority of people were excited. Not only that but due to the main series tackling heavier themes, the episodes were becoming more angsty with less time for the characters to just relax and goof off with each other. The idea of having episodes reminiscent of the low stakes, sillier, happier content of season one was a welcome break from the more complex episodes and would be a nice return to form for the series. 

We were also informed that these episodes would be much simpler than their main series counterparts and wouldn’t disrupt the work being done on Sanders Sides, which meant we didn’t have to worry about long gaps between the main story episodes, right? 

(Another disclaimer: I am perfectly aware of the main reason why we were not given as much content last year and am not blaming Thomas or the team for doing what was necessary to keep themselves safe and hope they continue to do so as this continues into the new year)

Jump to November 22, 2019, where we got our first official episode of Sanders Asides, roughly five months after DWIT came out. Which, for this fandom, was record time to get more content and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly they were able to get this out. Though at the same time, I wondered why it took five months to make what was meant to be a short, simple episode. 

So imagine my surprise when I went to watch the episode and saw it was nearly 20 minutes long. Which, okay, isn’t that bad when you compare it to the lengths of the more recent Sanders Sides episodes. But at the time, I was under the impression that the Asides would be, well, much shorter. The longest I expected would be maybe 15 minutes, but you know what? It’s the first episode and it has been a while since we’ve had Sides content, so maybe they wanted to give us a little extra due to the long wait. 

I started the episode and at first, I was overjoyed when I saw the first shot of all the Sides sitting in the living room in their onesies about to have a movie night. This was exactly what I’d been hoping to see from this series! It’s pretty much a staple thing in the fandom for the Sides to have movie nights together, and now it was happening in canon! 

At the moment, I had high hopes for this series and was filled with joy. 

Then that hope and joy were immediately crushed when I realized this was yet just another Virgil-centric angst episode. In fact, this entire episode was, well, exactly like a regular Sanders Sides episode. Sure, there were some jokes here and there, but the tone of the episode was no lighter than the last Sanders Sides episode. If anything DWIT felt lighter in comparison to this one. 

Which leads me to ask, what the heck happened? 

Part Two: Literally the Same Show

At this point in time, we’ve only had two episodes of Asides. Usually, I try to hold off my judgment of a series until I’ve had at least one other episode to see if my original criticisms still stand. 

To be fair, I did think Flirting With Social Anxiety was a step in the right direction. More comedy, a lighter tone, yes. Perfect. But again, just like with Are There Healthy Distractions? This episode quickly dove right back into the angst pool, and just like ATHD it was a pretty long episode, clocking in at almost 25 minutes. 

Not only that but again, both FWSA and ATHD don’t feel any different from the episodes we’ve been getting in Sanders Sides. 

1. They’re just as angsty.

2. Roughly the same length as Sanders Sides episodes.

3. Take about just as long to produce.

4. Contain a lesson to be learned. 

Which, okay, you can have lessons in lighter shows too, but we’re already getting that in Sanders Sides and Sanders Asides was described as, well, being less plot heavy. Yet so far both episodes are still tied in with the main plot. 

ATHD deals with the aftermath of DWIT, not directly but it’s pretty obvious that the whole thing with Virgil’s reveal at the end of that episode is being addressed in the background. Which, kind of takes away the impact of that ending, but I’ll get to that later. 

Then FWSA takes place after Putting Others First and again, is dealing with things from that episode in the background. Again though, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It makes sense to see the characters dealing with things from past events.

So why is it a problem here? Because, again, Sanders Asides is meant to be a separate series, and all the subtext brought on from the episodes in Sanders Sides makes the plots in these two episodes confusing. 

For example, I was perplexed during my first watch of FWSA because I couldn’t understand why the focus of the conflict was lying. I didn’t understand why Virgil and Roman came to the conclusion that Thomas’ reason for being unable to approach Nico was because he was lying to himself, when both the title of the episode and what we were shown points more to, well, social anxiety being the problem. 

(Quick note: One could argue that this was done purposefully to have Virgil putting the blame on Janus since he doesn’t like him and wouldn’t want to admit that he was the one responsible, but this series has had a bad habit of favoring Virgil in the past so until we get more answers I’m gonna leave this on the backburner) 

It didn’t help that I had no idea when this episode was meant to take place in the timeline, and I originally thought it could take place a bit after season two since Roman and Virgil seemed to be doing better, but more on them later.

All of this bugged me until I found out that FWSA takes place after POF, and after watching the live stream that followed and getting some more context, the lying thing made a bit more sense, but the fact that I was as confused as I was just caused more frustration to build up. And I wasn’t the only one who got thrown off by the “Lying is wrong” message of FWSA so I had to ask again, why was this episode a Sanders Asides when apparently, you need information from the last Sanders Sides episode in order to understand it?

So you’re telling me, that the second episode in what is supposed to be a separate series that isn’t meant to be a part of the main plot, is now integral to the plot of the main story you’re telling in what is, as you have said, a separate show? How does that make any sense? 

Okay, one could argue that Thomas getting a love interest doesn’t really fit with the current storyline that’s going on in Sanders Sides, and that is a fair point. The problem with that is, FWSA takes place right after Putting Others First. 

You all remember what happened at the end of that episode, right?

Part Three: Intrusive Plots

At this point we’ve all become rather accustomed to the long waits in between videos, it’s nothing new to us, and for the most part they haven’t done anything to harm the current plot of Sanders Sides. Sure, the length of time between videos can cause people to lose interest, but for the most part the tone of the last three episodes of Sanders Sides hasn’t differed much and the story flow is still going along smoothly. 

Let’s start with Selfishness vs Selflessness, which is the episode that sets up the big climax for season two. It’s still got its jokes and funny moments, but the overall tone is far more serious than previous episodes have been. This carries on into DWIT where Thomas has been so stressed out lately that he’s begun to have trouble with his intrusive thoughts. 

Virgil even gives a pretty good summary of Thomas’ current mental state: “He recently realized he’s a bigger liar than he thought he was, he doesn’t understand himself, he’s committed to skipping a big callback, and he’s sleep-deprived. So yeah, he feels like a piece of dirt who has no control over his life.”

And all that was a direct result of the ending of SVS, despite DWIT not being the direct follow up to that episode the two are still intertwined. Remember that for later.

DWIT ends with the long awaited reveal of Virgil having been a “Dark Side.” Even though the majority of the fandom had figured it out by as early as Can Lying Be Good? That didn’t take away from the emotional gut punch that this scene was and it’s one of my favorite moments from the series. I may have to make a whole post breaking that scene down but what matters is that this scene was a turning point for Virgil’s character.

We’ve seen him trying to hide the truth from Thomas ever since Janus and Remus started popping up, and there were close calls with both of them nearly revealing it themselves and continuously dropping hints to Thomas. Only for Virgil to admit it to Thomas himself, and leave before Thomas can even say a word. 

We don’t know for sure how Thomas is feeling in this moment, but it’s clear he’s been shaken by this. He doesn’t really have a lot of time to process it before he remembers to acknowledge the audience and close out the video. 

This comes up again once we finally get to the monster of an episode that is POF, the follow up to SVS that everyone had been waiting over a year for. Right away we see that Patton and Roman will be at the forefront of this discussion with Logan popping up every now and then, but who doesn’t show up in this episode despite having played a role in SVS? 

Virgil. 

He’s nowhere to be seen and his absence is definitely felt. Why wouldn’t he be part of this discussion? He was there in SVS and had a lot to say on the matter, he was even part of the decision to choose the wedding over the callback! So why wasn’t he there? 

Well, just look at the ending of DWIT and there’s your answer. Of course he isn’t about to show his face after that. Not when Thomas is already under so much stress already and he isn’t sure how Thomas will react to seeing him-

*insert random voice whispering off to the side*

 Wait, Virgil has seen Thomas since DWIT? When? 

*whispers continue*

Oh, right, they interacted in Sanders Asides. How did that go again? 

*whispers explain*

Huh? Thomas said he’s cool with Virgil despite revealing that he’s been hiding something from him this whole time? That “something” being the fact that Virgil was once considered part of the others that were currently making Thomas’ life miserable?

*whispers confirm*

Really? They’re both okay with each other now? Well, good for them. 

So wait, then why didn’t Virgil show up in POF? He was there during the first discussion and honestly he’d have more of a reason to show up than Logan who wasn’t really present at all in SVS. 

*whispers explain* 

He just wasn’t need there? Hm, alright. Guess that makes sense… 

Well okay, Virgil and Thomas are on good terms once POF rolls around, Virgil isn’t present during the conversation because he isn’t needed and I suppose his presence would make things worse. Especially once Janus revealed himself, he wouldn’t allow him to get a word in. Even though Janus could probably silence him but I digress. 

Fast forward towards the ending of POF, remember when I said to remember how SVS and DWIT were connected? Well DWIT is just as important to POF, acting as a bit of bridge between to the two episodes. 

Janus brings up Remus (both directly and indirectly) twice in this episode.

First here:

 Notice how Roman’s breakdown is already being foreshadowed here, the camera focusing on him while “Logan” says this isn’t an accident. 

The second time Remus is brought up is at the very end after Janus has revealed his name:

“Oh, Roman thank God you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.” 

(No I am not posting screenshots of this scene I already got emotional over the last one)

As we saw at the end of DWIT, Roman does not have a good relationship with is brother. So much so that when Thomas refers to Remus as such, Roman creates a different analogy that compares Remus to a mirror, reflecting everything Roman doesn’t want to be. 

Roman desperately wants to distance himself from Remus, not wanting anything to do with him. We’ve only gotten a glimpse of just how far this loathing goes, and part of that comes from Roman finally breaking down after being told by Janus that if it wasn’t for a mustache there’d be no difference between him and Remus.

This shook Roman more than anything else in the show has so far, moreso than him being the one to decide that Thomas should give up the callback. He was the one that pushed Thomas to make that decision, believing it was the noble thing to do, only for it to only make Thomas feel worse and then be told by Janus that his “noble sacrifice” was all for nothing. 

Janus, the one who had been supporting Roman throughout SVS, buttering him up and encouraging him to go after his dream, told him that his sacrifice was worthless. Then to top it all off Janus admits what he did and brushes it off as a joke. He doesn’t apologize to Roman, leaving him in the dust, then when Roman responds by laughing at his name he’s shot down even lower. 

And when he looks to Thomas and Patton for help, for answers, anything.

They stay silent.

Patton tries to reassure him, telling Roman that they love him, but he doesn’t believe it. He sinks out, and that’s the last we see of him.

Selfishness vs Selflessness, Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, and Putting Others First are three of the biggest (and dare I say most important) episodes in the series. The three almost act like a trilogy, with POF leading to something bigger, the season finale. Which will be culmination of all three of these episodes. 

We’ll be seeing Virgil’s reaction to Janus having been accepted by Patton and facing his own past as a “Dark Side.” Then we’ll find out what has become of Roman after he disappeared at the end of POF, and how it now affects his relationship with Thomas.

*whispers return and begin to whisper*

I’m sorry what?

*whispers repeat*

Virgil already knows about Janus getting somewhat accepted? Well okay I guess he would, wish we could have seen his reaction to that but oh well, no big deal. At least we got the Roman and Thomas confrontation to look forward to. 

*whispers whisper*

Roman has already interacted with Thomas since POF? When?!

*whisper* 

In FWSA? Oh yeah, how did that go again? It was super awkward right? Since Roman doesn’t really trust that Thomas loves or values him?

*whisperly whisper*

They get along just fine as if nothing happened? 

*whispersty*

It looks like he might still be upset with him since he’s being a bit passive aggressive? 

*whisper* 

Can’t really tell because the three are too busy trying to talk to a cute guy at the mall? 

Okay, I guess that all makes sense… 

Looks like Roman and Virgil still aren’t on the best terms with Thomas but are able to push that aside to help him talk to this handsome stranger, and hey, it worked! Thomas now has a boyfriend! Just look at Roman and Virgil at the end, they’re both so happy with Thomas! 

Looks like now they can focus on this new chapter in their life and leave the events of POF behind them. I mean, now that Roman and Virgil seem pretty cool with Thomas it would just feel weird to suddenly have them angry with him again, wouldn’t it?

Part Four: The Problem

Sanders Asides was originally described as being a series separate from the main storyline of Sanders Sides. Promising us shorter, less complicated episodes to give us a little something in between the longer, heavier episodes in Sanders Sides. This was a great idea that ended up falling apart the moment it began. 

When I was going through SVS, DWIT, and POF I mentioned that the three of them felt like a trilogy. All three of them link together to tell one bigger story, and on their own they get the job done. They set up the season finale perfectly to the point where you have an idea of what to expect and what to look forward to. 

The main things being the aftermath of Virgil’s reveal and Roman’s breakdown, which would most likely cultivate in them teaming up against Janus. This would also involve Virgil coming to terms with his past and Roman having to face Remus. 

Of course, none of this has been officially confirmed, but given everything we’ve seen up to this point it just makes sense. 

The story for season two is nearly complete, all we’re missing is the conclusion. 

Then Sanders Asides showed up and threw everything off course. What was supposed to be its own thing crept into a story that was already (for all we knew) set up and being put into place. 

We were told that the Asides wouldn’t do anything to disrupt the flow of Sanders Sides, yet it’s been confirmed that there will be one or two more episodes of Asides before we get the season finale. 

Why? Why are these episodes necessary when everything was set to move forward after POF? If these episodes are that important that they absolutely have to be made before the finale then why are they simply not part of the main series? 

You could say “Well they’re not directly tied to the main plot, that’s why.” But need I remind you that Asides as a concept was just intriduced after DWIT came out? These episodes were written specifcally for Asides, which unless I’m wrong means that they were just added into the main story with no planning whatsoever. 

FWSA honestly feels like it should have been the start of season three, something that should have waited to be introduced after season two wrapped up because it’s just too much. 

We already have so much to unpack from SVS, DWIT, and POF now we also have a new love interest on top of that? 

Virgil and Thomas’ resolution doesn’t even feel all that special because it wasn’t talked about directly between them. Thomas was indirectly letting Virgil know they were still okay, so what does that leave for us? All that build up about Virgil being a “Dark Side” only for it to be brushed over like it was nothing, and this happened in an Asides episode, not even in the main series. 

It also makes Virgil’s absence in POF confusing when they had already set up the perfect reason for him to be absent in DWIT, but according to the first episode of ATHD Virgil and Thomas are okay with each other. Sure, Virgil being there might have made things worse but at that point everyone was making things worse. 

We no longer have a confrontation between Thomas and Roman to look forward to because in FWSA we see them interacting as normal. Even the passive agressiveness isn’t anything new to Roman and really, it all just sounds super petty which he had been known to behave like that even when nothing is seriously wrong. Not only that Roman is overjoyed at the end, having finally gotten something he desperately wanted, the happy ending he deserved.

All that’s left for him is to fave his feelings towards Remus, but what would even happen there?

The problem with Asides isn’t the quality of the episodes, FWSA is actually one of my favorite episodes. The problem with Asides is that the team is taking what should have been something small and turning it into a far too elaborate for what its original purpose was: To give us more lighthearted content to enjoy in between the waits for the heavier episodes.

Instead it just feels like they’re adding onto something that really didn’t need adding on to, creating more work for themselves when it just isn’t necessary, and that worries me.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, it’s hard for me to make all these judgments when no one has any idea what the finale is going to be like. And usually, the team is able to excede my expectations and create something amazing. 

But with all these new Asides episodes that feel like they’re just being crammed in at the last second, it makes me wonder how the rest of the series will go if they continue down this road. 

Season two started September 1st, 2017, it is now January 3rd, 2021. Throughout season two the production of episodes became more elaborate, and there have been complications that arose from trying to make these videos as a result that sent production screeching to a halt. And on top of that, these Sanders Asides have been added to create even more work for Thomas and the team.

I don’t understand why they’d do this to themselves when it’s already become more difficult than ever to make videos in general, not just Sanders Sides. 

We were offered something simple that would have satisfied everyone during the difficult times, only to be given something that honestly, wasn’t even needed. I do appreciate Thomas trying to get us more content, but I don’t think he or the team realizes just how content we’d all be with just a five minute video of the characters we love just doing something as simple as hanging out and having fun, especially with how dark things have become all around us. 

We don’t always have to be watching these characters struggle, sometimes we just need to see them be genuinely happy.

(Thanks to everyone who took time to read this monster of a post, I did not mean for it to get this long but it’s been dwelling on my mind for a while and I wanted to make sure I got out everything I wanted to say. Again, this is all just a personal opinions and you are not obligated to agree with me. If you have an objecting opinion I would not mind hearing it but please keep any discussions civil.)

[bartramcat]

CSI/GSR: Long vs. Short Term Arcs

Okay, this is very off the cuff and inspired to some degree by @addictedtostorytelling and the discussion of Morgan and Greg and Hodges. Some stray things:

We know that the only thing decided about Sara Sidle pre-show was that she was meant to be Grissom's love interest.

At some point, before CSI continued to be a ratings juggernaut that Zuiker figured Grissom would go deaf, and that would be how the show would end.

When Grissom turned Sara down in Play With Fire, TPTB had decided that was going to be the end of that.

Things no one could have predicted:

The overwhelming worldwide success of the show, necessitating a workable resolution to Grissom's deaf storyline.

That no matter what, whenever Grissom and Sara are onscreen together, there is "something" there.

Billy and Jorja both were invested in GSR.

It seems to me the combination of the above is what gave us Season 4. In terms of GSR, a case could be made that they were starting all over again in a serialized novel sort of way.

Now I confess to knowing absolutely nothing about the Harry Potter novels, but, in my youth, thanks to Masterpiece Theatre, I did read all of The Forsyte Saga and Trollope's Palliser novels. What serialized novels have in common is that, for the most part, each novel stands on its own, but the author feels the need to continue to explore aspects of his characters beyond the original scope of the original novel.

In that regard, I suppose we could see 1-3 as a kind of GSR entity on its own. Grissom gets promoted and brings the girl he loves to Vegas, only to discover he can't have both the job and the girl. Beginning in 2, Grissom has two simultaneous arcs: the fear of going deaf and his unresolved feelings for Sara, with the first further compounding the complications associated with the second. What he doesn't discover until season 3 is that his "push me/pull me" relationship with Sara drives her to another man, a fact which utterly devastates him to an extent he could never have imagined.

Still, it is the deaf arc that is of more overriding concern: if he can't hear, he not only loses his job but also his entire sense of self at that point in time. Resolving his feelings for Sara will have to be backburnered, so he decides not to punish her for getting a life, as, at that point, he has no life to offer her, since he's not even sure what his life will be.

Meanwhile, back in Saraland, she discovers Hank is a dog and ends the relationship. If GSR were bad soap opera, the fact that Sara was seeing Hank would have been seen as a primary impediment. The thing is it never was. To me it's just one more nail in the Sara low self-esteem coffin. Also, if it were soap, the lab explosion and Grissom's unconscious revelation of his feelings for her would have led to some kind of positive resolution. The problem is that Grissom's deaf arc is still in play, not to mention all of his other relationship with Sara fears.

Sara misreads the situation; she thinks, finally, he might be ready to take the plunge, but she's completely wrong. By bringing their relationship to an either/or position, she basically pushes him into outright rejecting her, thus ending this phase of their arc. Ironically, Grissom's deaf arc gets resolved in the very next episode, but, by then, he really thinks it is "too late."

The thing about 4, besides it being incredibly hard to watch Sara descend into the abyss, is that, for the first time, the show makes it unequivocally clear that Grissom is both sexually attracted to Sara and in love with her. (The first doesn't always imply the second, although we learn later, for Grissom, it does.)

While Homebodies explores Grissom's fears that he won't ever be able to keep his loved one (Sara) safe--perhaps foreshadowing--Invisible Evidence certainly spells it out that his attraction to her is as physical as it is intellectual and emotional. I doubt anyone could watch those "pin me down" seconds out of context and not think that was a man who was about to fuck the shit out of her. (Of course in context it can't happen, but the desire is certainly there.)

Overall, however, outside of that, Grissom goes out of his way to distance himself from Sara: that "too late" thing again. Then the show throws Butterflied at us (and him), wherein it is made abundantly clear he is in love with her and regrets turning her down. What he doesn't know is that she hears everything he says, which twists the knife. She wasn't wrong: he does have feelings for her, only those feelings aren't strong enough for him to risk it, to take a chance on love.

So what we have for the rest of 4 is Grissom continuing to distance himself from Sara under the misguided belief that he has killed any feelings she had for him, while she continues to sink into depression and alcohol dependence. Given his distancing, he seems unaware that something isn't right with her until late in the season, and then it hits him between the eyes and in the gut in Bloodlines.

In a weird way, 4-6 is the inverse of 1-3. If Season 1 begins with a lot of light-hearted flirtation (and off the charts sexual chemistry) and ends with a seemingly insurmountable rift between them, 4-6 begins with the rift and works its way to their becoming an actual committed couple in a seemingly stable relationship. Of course the frustrating part is that the show neglected to tell us when, where, and how, although it's pretty evident that, for Grissom, Bloodlines is the catalyst for him to try to rebuild their relationship. I do not think he did so thinking the end result would be a "beautiful life" with Sara. More than likely, the best he hoped for was for them to be friends again.

As an aside, in the middle of 1-3, we have Cassie James, Grissom's personal Cassandra, telling him "You don't know what you need until you find it." While Grissom's "need" for Sara is couched purely in work terms throughout 3, season 4 into 5 shows a man who has seemingly come to terms with the fact that he both loves and needs her. The first half of 5 shows him far more in tune with her, and they begin to be comfortable together again. While I think he is perhaps at a place where he might occasionally daydream about the possibility that someday they might be together, I also suspect he thinks that ship has sailed.

And that is why he is completely floored in Snakes. Seemingly out of nowhere, she more or less tells him she's still in love with him, although, unlike in Play With Fire, she has no expectations that he can ever reciprocate her feelings. She, too, thinks that ship has sailed, but, now, she is reconciled to that fact.

I suppose the question for me has always been whether or not he goes to her in Nesting Dolls and tells her that it matters to him, not as her boss but as a man, why she's so angry, if Snakes doesn't happen. A large part of a believable narrative is that one thing must naturally lead to another. As a narrative arc, from 4 to mid-5, we get the following:

Invisible Evidence makes it clear that these two people are still sexually attracted to one another, even though neither one would consider acting on it at this point.

Butterflied confirms Grissom is in love with Sara and regrets turning her down.

Early Rollout tells us Sara may have a serious drinking problem.

Bloodlines is Sara at her lowest point, having been pulled over for a DUI, which signals to Grissom just how miserable she is.

In early 5, they begin to rebuild their camaraderie, with Grissom occasionally kind of sort of flirting with her, in his fashion.

Snakes confirms that, despite everything, she's still in love with him.

After her meltdown in Nesting Dolls, Grissom goes to her and coaxes her to tell him her deepest secrets, after which he comforts her, although what transpires between them after he takes her hand, like so many things GSR, is left vague.

It's always been curious to me that after their conversation in Unbearable that the curtain is drawn on exactly what the nature of their relationship is. I have always read, from Big Middle on, that they act like a couple, albeit a couple in the workplace. We get very little entree into their private interactions, so when and how they became lovers is open to individual interpretation. It isn't until the final scene of 6 that the show bothers to tell us they are lovers, and, judging by their interactions in Way to Go, have been a couple for some time.

I don't know about anyone else, but I think they seem married in that scene: completely comfortable with each other in a way that more or less screams that scenes like the one we are finally privy to have been occurring for a while.

In any event, 4-6 is a pretty remarkable journey in GSR land, as the two characters move from barely being able to speak to one another into a full-fledged love affair.

The amazing thing to me is that both the 1-3 and the 4-6 segments follow a logical progression, with each small insight or revelation explaining both choice and behavior--and leading into the next arc in their relationship.

It really is good stuff.

[michals]

That post reminded me I never actually posted this and it's one of those ‘kind of embarrassing I spent so much time on it but I’m posting it because I spent so much damn time on it’ things.

Klaus and Luther similarities/parallels

So the show doesn’t give us a ton of Luther and Klaus interaction but I think just them being the characters they are they’re really similar and have interesting parallels.

Of all the siblings I think it’s actually Luther and Klaus who are the most diametrically opposed in terms of their place in the Academy and their childhood. Obviously there’s the dynamic between Reggie explicitly calling Luther his favorite and Klaus his biggest disappointment, both of them had high expectations thrust upon them and one excelled and the other failed. But then again Luther was set up to excel and Klaus to fail. For all that Reggie wanted from Klaus he went about it in entirely the wrong way which only hurt Klaus’s abilities, and comparatively Luther’s powers are very straight forward so his training had to be mental in that he became exactly what Reggie wanted him to be.

Basically: Reggie’s abuse had opposite effects on them. Luther was brainwashed and isolated, Klaus was discarded and left to fend for himself. Luther loves/trusts his dad, Klaus hates him. Luther thinks they have a purpose and what they did was worthwhile, Klaus thinks it was all a big joke and meant nothing beyond Reggie’s little experiment. Luther’s at one end of the spectrum, Klaus the other, and everyone else falls somewhere in between.

How they show the effects of their abuse however, is actually more in sync. Klaus has a habit of either ignoring or talking around problems, acting like they’re not problems, or being flippant about them. Klaus acknowledges Reggie’s abuse but it’s usually in a jokey, casual manner, he usually moves on from talking about it quickly without getting too deep. He knows Reggie did a number on them but confronting it head on is difficult. And this is from a character who’s been in multiple rehab centers that obviously include some kind of therapy sessions.

Luther of course outright denies it until he’s faced with it in the worst way, and even then he can’t really get his head around it. One of the first things he did when landing in the 60s was to go to Reggie and expect him to welcome him, even though he doesn’t even know him. And then for all his talk in s2 about having moved on it reads like lip service, it sounds like he knows that’s what he should say, what he should feel, but it’s not entirely working. It’s like he’s just trying to dismiss it to the point where he will literally run away from the conversation. I still think the moment of him telling Sparrowverse Reggie that he’s happy they’re all home and together is a huge sign that he still thinks of Reggie as his dad no matter what.

Klaus and Luther either don’t know how to talk about their trauma or aren’t willing to. Whether it’s that Luther still doesn’t want to face up to it completely or that perhaps he does have the littlest bit of hope that actually Reggie did care and there was/is a chance he might care yet, or with Klaus trying to put the trauma on the backburner so he doesn’t have to relive it or process it in a way that means he won’t be able to drink it away or perhaps be forced to confront the powers that have caused him so much pain.

I also think they are genuinely sensitive. Not in the same way the others are, but empathetic and gentle in ways they never got to explore as children. I think that emotional wounds go much deeper than they let on. They’re always on the cusp of reaching out but not only do they not like dealing with their problems, they were taught not to. If given the chance they’d probably be happy to play support for the others but that wasn’t Reggie’s goal. I can easily imagine Luther as the kind of leader who takes everyone’s plans and thoughts into account and makes sense of it from there, who’s better at dictating than just demanding. And I imagine Klaus would probably be capable of understanding and connecting to his ghosts in a way that helps both him and them if he had been given different training.

Next is how both of them have poor self esteem and what comes across as a passive view of self preservation. Klaus has a very conflicted view of his place within the Academy. Apparently he was regulated to being the ‘look out’ often and wasn’t as active as the others. Obviously this is because of his complicated relationship with his powers and how Reggie treated him within the group dynamic. If he didn’t think Klaus was important (because he wasn’t doing what he was supposed to) then he wasn’t important. Now, having embraced his place as the black sheep of the family, Klaus still doesn’t know where he fits in and often comes across as “useless” (in quotes cause obvs that’s not the whole story, just a simplification).

Just in general he sees himself as an outsider. For all that he’s flippant and casually cocky he’s not actually all that confident in what he’s capable of to the point of not even trying sometimes because he’s convinced he’ll fail. It’s a smokescreen. It goes hand in hand with him not confronting his feelings or trauma, easier to play like he’s confident than to deal with it.

Luther’s self esteem came entirely from his place in the Academy and his father’s opinion and what Reggie made him. Even then his confidence gets shaken all the time when someone doesn’t listen to him or when they argue with him. He too tries to cover this up, Klaus is glib Luther is bossy. Then there’s the whole gorilla body thing, which he is very obviously mortified by. (Side note: interesting contrast in Klaus being usually the least physically covered up sibling and Luther being the most.) He’s wildly ashamed and embarrassed by his appearance. (There’s a whole other point I could make about how Luther only willingly shows his body when he’s being exploited and pummeled – or high – but that’s another post.)

Then Luther’s whole foundation crumbles with the discovery of Reggie’s true nature. He doesn’t have much left after that and then he’s dropped into a foreign world with no one and no way of coping and then Reggie once again lets him down. What’s he do? Gets into a situation that mirrors his relationship with Reggie, lets himself be taken advantage of, does what he’s told to the point of physical harm - because he knows nothing else and the bet is he doesn’t think he deserves better. Then he spends all of season 2 saying that he messed up, he’s not a hero, he’s not a leader and that he has no place thinking highly of himself. Guy straight up doesn’t have any self esteem at this point.

(Klaus also doesn't see himself as a hero even though he was on a literal superhero team.)

And in terms of their sense of self preservation: Klaus obviously has very little regard for his own health and wellbeing. Even if he doesn’t throw himself in front of bullets he’s still drinking and doing drugs to an extreme degree, to the point where they’ve actually killed him. He knows it’s bad for him, he knows it’s dangerous but he doesn’t care. Even with Ben in his ear he continues. When he dies in s1 he’s relieved.

Speaking of throwing one’s self in front of a bullet: Luther does this 3 times that we see. This comes obviously from his protectiveness as a leader but there’s an undercurrent of other people surviving being more important than him getting hurt. And when Five comes to him to say the world’s ending again Luther says he doesn’t give a shit. The Luther from s1 was all about saving the day, s2 Luther is shrugging and saying ‘yeah well, so what?’ and when he does start to care it’s mostly because he’s looking out for Five.

(Sidenote: I realize that my headcanon that Luther is becoming an alcoholic and has an unhealthy relationship with drugs is probably me reading into things but were the show to go in that direction: that they both would find comfort or an escape through substances would be another thing to tie them together and explore how their traumas affected them and what they do to deal with/avoid dealing with them. They’ve become pessimistic about the prospect of answers or catharsis so they look for escape instead.)

(Also also pointing out that the two times Luther was the most candid about his trauma was when he was drunk/high and one of those times was with Klaus – who for the first time in probably a long time, or ever, got to be the shoulder someone cried on. And what a great thematic idea that it’d be the two of them that’d be the most honest and open with each other eventually.)

Bonus item: Luther and Klaus have both died outside of their apocalypse related deaths (pretty sure Allison never actually died in s1 but was close) and in ways that none of the others were there for. Neither of them have talked about it. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to seem weaker than they already are, maybe it’s more of that ‘let’s not talk about trauma, let’s just get drunk’ mentality, or maybe it’s because they don’t think anyone would care. None of the others have really talked to Luther about the accident or the aftermath, none of them have approached Klaus’s addictions as an actual problem. Whatever reason why it would probably do them a world of good to find out they have that in common in the same way it would be good for Luther and Five to talk about their isolation.

They really seem like they should be very different characters in all respects and they really are in a lot of ways but there’s also this laundry list of ways they mirror each other or are similar and I hope the show takes advantage of that.

[rocorambles]

Holy Fuck!! Haha I'm sorry, I'm not the anon who requested that possessive Atsumu hc, but I'm DYING to see a part 2 of that and can't help but pile on. Ik you're probably busy with kinktober planning but maybe you could put this on the backburner? I'm thinking Osamu somehow manages to get you alone, and shows you how good he can make you feel without hurting you like that, shows you what it's supposed to feel/be like. Then reader is questioning it all but obviously Atsumu is quick to figure out what Osamu did, so he sends the message home that you will always be his with some aggressive-jealous-possessive hate sex.

Poor Osamu. All he did was try to help, but he just made things so so so much worse for Atsumu’s poor darling

Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Infidelity, Non-Con/Dub-Con, Choking/Abuse/Violence, Slight Watersports/Piss Play

You’re surprised that Osamu is always hanging around, always asking to catch up with you after the first time he meets you in Atsumu’s apartment. But what confuses you most is how...worried he always looks when he gazes at you, brows furrowing when he looks at the loving marks Atsumu had gifted you. And you wonder if you should ask him what’s bothering him. 

But with Atsumu always closely trailing along and breathing down both your necks, it’s hard to question him about it and you just shrug it off and giggle as Atsumu is even touchier than usual when you’re out and about with his twin, calloused hands almost never leaving your body, and you’re ignorant of the stare-off the twins have above your head as you lean into the familiar touch. 

However, Osamu has always been the more patient of the two and he doesn’t mind playing the long waiting game, seizing a rare opportunity when Atsumu is out of town for an away game and you’re at the apartment by yourself for the weekend, a busy work season keeping you close to the office and unable to join your boyfriend on his trip. He invites himself over under the guise of having some new recipes for you to test and the two of you genuinely enjoy the time together, chattering and laughing as you cook together. But there’s a tension in the air as the two of you quietly sit down to eat and just as you’re about to ask about the way his eyes linger on a particularly fresh mark on your throat, you gasp when Osamu hesitantly and gently reaches across the table to hold your hand, delicately tracing his thumb across your skin. 

“Love...love should be sweet, tender, and affectionate. It should never hurt.” 

You feel strange as his fingertips lightly brush over the finger shaped bruises on your wrist, unsure why your eyes are watering, why your bottom lip begins to quiver at his words. But when he tentatively walks over to you and crouches besides your seated figure, softly asking if he can show you how you should be treated, how you deserve to be treated, you shyly nod your head and let him lead you to your bedroom. And despite the pang of guilt you feel, knowing this is wrong, knowing that there would be hell to pay if Atsumu found out about this, you lose yourself in Osamu’s attentive motions, his soothing caresses, his kind words and praises. 

There are no bruises, no aches, no piercing teeth or nails, no degrading comments. And you feel only warm and sated when the two of you finally finish, a radiant smile on your face as you sink into Osamu’s embrace, wondering if this is really what love is supposed to feel like. 

But reality fully sinks in when you wake up the next morning and there’s a weight on your chest as guilt and doubt cruelly dig their claws into you. How could you cheat on Atsumu? Did you really love Atsumu? Did Atsumu even love you? Is there a future with Osamu? The questions eat you alive and Osamu parts ways before his brother returns home, kissing you once more and telling you he’d be waiting for you to make your decision, waiting with open arms if you decided to choose him. 

You try to act normal when your blonde lover enthusiastically bounds into your apartment, swinging you around in his arms and whining about how much he missed you while he was gone. And you think you’ve done a decent job maintaining your usual facade as Atsumu continues babbling on and on about the game, about his team. But when night comes, you freeze at the familiar dark glint in his eyes as he swiftly and forcefully carries you to your shared bedroom. 

Everything feels wrong and you wince as he treats you like a rag doll, like a piece of meat, his hands roughly gripping you, fingers digging painfully into your skin, teeth biting down too harshly. And you try to take it like you always do, obediently, quietly, submissively, silently telling yourself that this is just how Atsumu relays his love for you, that everyone has a different love language. But you can’t help but compare and when Atsumu bullies his way between your legs, your muscles screaming as he forces your thighs wide apart, you defy him for the first time, begging him to slow down, to be more gentle. 

He stares in shock, wondering where this sudden change of attitude is coming from, wondering what has you acting so strangely, but fury begins to kindle inside of him at the next words that escape your mouth as memories of a silver haired man who shares his face saying the same exact sentence play over and over again in his mind.

“Love should be sweet, tender, and affectionate. It shouldn’t hurt.” 

You recoil when the blonde man above you begins to loudly cackle, uncertainty and fear making you back up and inch away from your lover. But you scream when your legs are suddenly being hauled over broad shoulders, wailing and sobbing as Atsumu shoves his cock inside of you in one savage thrust, the new position making the tight fit even worse, a stabbing pain lancing through you as he folds you in half. 

“What else did ‘Samu teach you while I was gone? Did he give you some hands on lessons too?” 

He says it as a derisive joke, not believing for a second that you, his precious girl, would ever betray him like that, especially not with his own twin. But something cold jolts through him when he sees the guilt in your eyes, when you can’t even meet his gaze. And he knows. He knows. And you let out a blood curling shriek when a hand wraps around your throat, squeezing and squeezing until you really think this might be the end, your body convulsing and your hands clawing in a last frantic fight for your life. 

But just when the darkness begins to encroach on your vision, just when you’re ready to submit to eternal slumber, he suddenly lets go and you wonder if you’d have been better off dead as he fucks you with reckless abandon, anger, betrayal, and hurt fueling his intensity and you’re sure that it’s not just your own arousal lubricating each of his thrusts, a quick peek downwards confirming your suspicion as crimson liquid mixes in with the mess between your legs. 

It hurts. You’re scared. And your unconscious cries for Osamu to save you only make everything worse as Atsumu sees red. 

The details are hazy and you know you’re flitting in and out of consciousness, alternating between sobbing and just laying limply as you’re covered with cum, blood, maybe even piss. You’re unsure. Unsure of everything except pain and fear, blindly nodding your head when Atsumu growls at you, makes you promise that you’re his, only his, for the rest of your life, forever, until your body is six feet under the ground. 

And Atsumu smiles when he looks at your exhausted passed out body, satisfaction thrumming through his body as he pulls out the engagement ring he had been planning to surprise you with and slips it onto your finger. 

It’s “till death do us part” now and he has every intention of making sure you never forget it. 

[iturmom]

mitsuki and boruto feelings

have i mentioned how much i love boruto lately? maybe a lil?

i have so many thoughts, some of them that i haven’t rambled about in these rants yet so bear with, all of the 2 people who read these! (ily btw)

boruto, is kinda.... a shitty person? like, his nindo is to never leave a friend behind, right? like he hasn’t claimed a nindo yet, but that is regardless, his ninja way. and he does that, and he does do some pretty selfless things, most of the time. but he uses evil means to accomplish this goal sometimes. like i just can’t stop thinking about how he lied to his family to go chase sasuke around and cause problems. none of that was selfless at all, until he got the mission from gaara, but that’s beside the point. originally, it was a totally self-serving purpose. and mitsuki is always looking at boruto with the cute grin he always wears with fucking stars in his eyes while boruto is saying some fucked up shit. i guess it’s like the whole “don’t tell me my fave is a psychopath. i’ve seen what he’s done, and i like it” thing. idfk what mitsuki’s damage is at this point. which is a good segue to

mitsuki. deserves. better. 

he. is. just. 

themostpreciouscinnamonbuntoogoodforthisworldtoopure goodestmoonboysnakeboycatdad he is such a good character. everything about him is perfect. and yet, his whole purpose is to swoon over boruto and to save his ass because that’s his boyfriend and no one is going to hurt his boyfriend. how many times has mitsuki actually sacrified himself to save boruto, offered to sacrifice himself to save boruto, or swooped in to save the day and save boruto? i have lost track at this point. and after his disappearance arc, boruto was all “i’m gonna take the time to get to know you” and then mitsuki has never been so on the backburner as he has been since he went on that secret infiltration mission. he deserves better. the audience deserves some boruto and mitsuki bonding time. WE deserve better. but idk i think honestly at this point in the series if we get mitsuki and boruto bonding time it would probably legitimately turn romantic there’s no way around it because let’s fucking face it every word that comes out of this precious snake boy’s mouth is just dripping with pure admiration for boruto like boruto is his world boruto is his nindo boruto is his everything BORUTO’S FACE IS RIGHT NEXT TO MITSUKI’S HEAD WHILE THIS POOR WHIPPED BOY SLEEPS and i just don’t think a romance between them would be possible because idk if mitsuki is even able to directly confess his feelings and i don’t think boruto would reciprocate them, and i don’t think the writers would want gay shit idk if mitsuki is queer baiting or what someone solve this problem for me please, someone convince me that mitsuki is straight i’m begging you because this is eating away at me mitsuki will never get his boy and i don’t think he even really cares he just wants to die for boruto he doesn’t want anything else in life and i just can’t handle it. when is the last time i used punctuation? this is what boruto and mitsuki is doing to my brain ugh. how do i sort this out? it’s also probably lack of sleep tho i’m planning on sleeping right after i post this it’s been a lil while tbh.

more mitsuki thoughts before i move on to more rational thoughts. these are just wandering thoughts. mitsuki made a good prison boyfriend. high key. and mitsuki is LEGITIMATELY boruto’s ride or die. boruto is like “we’re gonna stage a prison break” and mitsuki’s like “of course we are boyfriend i’ll follow you anywhere” and idk about you but i kinda feel like mitsuki loved every second that he was whispering in boruto’s ear and plotting and scheming with his boyfriend and just generally being so close to him. i mean, he said so himself on their way home, he liked being in prison. and what did he do in prison? stick to boruto like glue the entire time. when he rushed to care for boruto when he fell ill from eating the poison fruit even though they both knew it was going to happen he was still so sad his boyfriend was sick and I was sad. also sarada told boruto he owes her a caramel machiatto when they ditched their mission to save his ass and sidetrack but that kinda felt like a slap in the face when she said caramel machiatto but anyway. mitsuki took a rain check on his iou from boruto. i believe from the bottom of my cold dead heart that what he wants more than anything is a hug like this poor boy is sprung. and when he said, with stars in his eyes and his cute lil grin “that’s so like you, boruto” i immediately said “wow, that’s so like you to say that, mitsuki” because how often does he say that? when is someone going to say that to him please someone tell me someone says that to him at some point that’s all i want spoiled please just tell me.

okay i think i got that all out of my brain. now, rational time. boruto finally awaked his karma and that’s finally become a plot point and i still have no fucking clue what karma is but guess who was THE ONLY PERSON TO NOTICE IT besides sasuke but sasuke was there and nothing gets past him tbh. oh, you guessed mitsuki? yeah i know cause duh mitsuki noticed it he’s like “oh you got that after you fought momoshiki” and i’m like of course you know that mitsuki even though you were in the hospital for all of that BECAUSE YOU SACRIFICED YOURSELF TO SAVE BORUTO. but of course you know. (i thought i was done with mitsuki SIKE this was the perfect context to bring it up so) but anywhomst, i’m really happy that boruto finally awaked his karma i think that’s what it is. and i noticed in the new opening theme, kawaki is there and i am not ready. is he coming in this arc? i have been anxiously awaiting him because i’m so scared i will hate him and he will unravel the whole show and tear apart everything that i’ve grown to love so much and i just am anxious about kawaki. and also, i noticed that mysterious figure in the opening theme, does anyone know who that is? i think it’s older boruto? why is he there? am i getting that far in boruto? i feel like i’m almost caught up and i’m sad because i’m going to run out of episodes but i’m happy because the newest season is updating NOW but i’m sad because the newest season will probably end on a gutwrenching cliffhanger maybe idk. because i’ve just been binging it so i haven’t gotten a feel for how they wrap up the seasons so i don’t really know. i just. have a lot of boruto feelings. this is becoming a regular thing for me. thank you for coming to my ted talk.