#it's just an experience looking back and being like hey i wasn't just a weirdo there's like....... an explanation for this

[0mysticmidnight0]

hey so how do you think Donnie would deal with him being upset over something and he doesn’t want to interact with anybody, but his s/o comes in and just sits in the room with him on the far side of the room and looks at their phone after asking if he’s ok and he says he wants to be left alone? They don’t push him into physical affection or make him talk and they don’t leave him either. If he asks at all about this once he’s calmed, s/o is like “You’ve not seen me get upset over something like you did yet, but I’m similar when I’m upset. I don’t want to be left alone completely, but I need to unwind from stimulation. I’m here if you need me”. S/o smiles softly at him?

I can relate a lot to this one! I'm sure most people do! So, it would be my pleasure to do this for you!!

A Genius has his problems

-A week of no sleep and failed experiments were uncommon for Donnie. He'd usually get it right away! Why was he having so many problems? A fight with Leo just ruined him even more.. and being called an egg-headed weirdo wasn't too pleasant of a morning for Donnie. -He was stressed and overstimulated and STRESSED and angry (at Leo), did i mention stressed? He was in his lab when you came for a surprise visit. You just so happen to catch him tinkering with one of his inventions and it explodes in his face.. He grabs a pillow and shoves his face in it before letting out a loud groan... -He sees you looking at him then sitting on the other side of the room. He was rather confused. He though you were gonna talk to him, scream even. But you were quiet.. After a small while he hears you say something in a soft voice. "Are you okay..?" He looks down and mumbles something out. "Leave me alone.." -You simply look at him and turn back to your phone, scrolling through whatever. He sighs as he lays his head on his table. An hour or two of him watching some relaxing videos and actually getting sleep, he turns to you. " About earlier, How come you stayed? Why didn't you leave? Why were you so quiet-" He was shortly cut off by the sound of you laughing and smiling at him. "Hey, you may not have seen me upset before.. but i act very similar to how you did. Even if i say i want to be left alone, in reality, i don't want to be left entirely alone." -He sees your smile and he smiles back genuinely in weeks.. To your surprise he hugs you. You hug him back. BONUS! (aftermath) After you talked to Donnie, you got a text from Mikey.. I think the others misunderstood Mikey's explanation.. Mikey: I don't know what you said to Donnie but i'm glad he started eating with us again! Thank you! I told everyone what happened! I saw you go into Donnie's lab and he made some weird noises..But then both of you came out smiling!! Idk why everyone's looking at me weird tho.. Thanks a lot! :)

You have one new message from Donatello! Donatello sent a photo! Donnie: We have a few problems.

Hope you enjoyed this as much as i did!! From: MysticMidnight

[apricotmayonaise]

i wasn't sexually harassed by @/musashi, ya'll are just playing the telephone game.

hi, im slushy, i'm 15 and a half years old, i keep hearing these bullshit rumours about my friend wendy, or musashi, as is their tumblr url. i'm here to go on the record to say, that did not fucking happen. unfortunately, since i got banned in the server this went down in. (ha ha. how ironic.) might be tricky but i do have, like, 10 people who can back me up on this.

so, a rundown of events. me, wendy, and a few other people are in a vc. i post a poll about what i should go as for halloween. the options are pretty skimpy but hey, i'm fifteen, going on sixteen years old. i'm nearly an adult and by the time halloween rolls around i'll be old enough to work, drive, and fuck. i'm a teenager, not a toddler.

a couple server members, i think it was around five, voted on this poll. the mods, specifically the owner, got mad at wendy specifically. they said wendy was sexualising me. wendy was obviously like "no, when i look at a teenager in a halloween costume i see a teenager in a halloween costume. slushy's 13 years my junior, im not a weirdo."

the owner proceeded to get mad at wendy and then told me i should dress up as jesus? which is an odd thing to say. it was less of lingerie and more like a bikini. which gives me a feeling that the people getting mad are the type to sexualise teenagers at the beach.

anyway, wendy, with no warning, got banned for this. the mods said they gave plenty of warning but in those "warnings" they seemed to just be making friendly requests, not mod-ly orders.

the whole claim of wendy "offering to buy" me anything is also completely and utterly false. that didnt happen dawg

anyway, i was confused, angry, and upset about this. wendy was also very upset.

anyway, you know who i was groomed by?? someone else on the server who all the mods continue to reblog from and interact with. they know she's a groomer. i've told them. wendy's told them. at least five other people have expressed concern or disgust at this person's behaviour, and yet they continue to talk to the groomer.

i also want to add that i was completely and utterly spoken over. every time i said "wendy wasnt weird or creepy!" they didn't listen to me because i'm just a minorrrr. i'm just a little girl who obviously can't think for herselffffffff.

as for wendy being a "pedo apologist", i think this just refers to wendy...not being an antishipper? god forbid wendy, a grown ass 28 year old adult with adult responsibilities not get into internet discourse? also i find it pretty gross how we put "actual fucking child predators" and "people who don't care about online drama surrounding made up ships" on the same level of bad. one is something i can scroll past or block the tag of. the other caused me trauma, pain, and having grown up way too fast. fictional characters can't experience pain or tragedy in the same way real children and teenagers can.

this post is in regards to this anon message:

you are a bunch of sick people who don't care about real child abuse. you ignore groomers and let them fly under the radar to target people who you, personally, don't agree with. you're making a real victim into a false victim, and at the time of the incident it was sexual assault survivor's awareness month.

if you're going to call someone a victim, at least fucking listen to them. a real groomer is out there living her life while my friend lost a big amount of friends due to false allegations.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Hey. Hey come spiral into madness with me. I have another bonkers theory.

So I've been wistfully thinking up twin headcanons for Wally because he is, inexplicably, one of the only speedsters without a twin or a clone.

Of course, it makes sense. Rudy West is a sociopath and he, very specifically, only wanted one son. You see, Rudy was a member of a cult and that cult had told him that his son with Mary would have godlike power. And Rudy? Rudy craved power.

Rudy wasn't a stable individual and he held no actual love for Wally. Wally was just a way to grab power. So if Rudy and Mary ever did have a second child? Rudy would want nothing to do with them. He would probably sell the kid into a metahuman trafficking ring or something.

That's not a joke. This man hired a hitman to kill his wife, hired a meta gang to beat and kidnap his son so that he could enslave him for a cult and he ran a child labor camp and tried to blow up children with landmines. When I say that Rudy would sell a 'spare' child into metahuman trafficking, I mean that Rudy would sell a child into metahuman trafficking.

Now of course this is all extremely far fetched. It's not like we know a speedster who is Wally's age, looks like Wally, was sold into metahuman trafficking as a child, was selected to be a speedster due to a genetic predisposition for it and has ties to Rudy West... right?

What if I said that you've already seen this speedster? And on this very post no less?

Yes, guys gals and nonbinary pals, I am talking about Christina. The ginger cult speedster.

You see, in 1968 the Russian government began to get jealous of one Barry Allen. They wanted their own speedsters. Barry himself sighs in this issue and wishes that he wasn't the only one. (Boy he's in for a 'shock' in a few months)

At roughly the same time Wally gets his powers three other children the same age as him are being hand picked to endure the same experiment.

And I do mean hand picked. Their genetics, metabolisms, their health, everything had to be perfect. These three children might as well have been born to be speedsters. And there is little red headed, green eyed 'orphaned' Christina. Already flagged as a potential metahuman and ready to go for experimentation.

And. Well. Genetic predisposition is kinda super important? Not everyone can be a speedster. Ask the doctor himself who decided that he'd actually like to be a speedster, compatibility be damned. Course you'll need a seance or a medium to ask him...

Yeah. Not everyone is cut out for it. And hey, Christina's adopted brothers might've done better than good ole doc over there but they did not escape unfazed. One developed friction burns and blisters on every inch of skin and one completely mutated, arms stretched out and head bulging out like a turtle. Not. Fun.

Actually Christina was the only one that was completely fine.... weird.

Anyway, have I mentioned that Rudy and his cult knows these three? Knows them very well actually. They frequently work together.

And Rudy, that weirdo, is very fond of calling them 'kids' and comparing them to Wally. He tells Wally that he should be a good child and be obedient like them and that Wally will be great friends with them eventually.

The other two meet a bit of a sad fate. Velocity 9. Don't do drugs kids. It's interesting though. Christina did Velocity 9 as well and yet she survived what the others could not... again.

And when Savitar comes around Christina works for him and we learn that Christina is actually fairly strong in the speedforce. Like, going toe to toe with Jesse strong.

Eventually Christina has a change of heart and Wally... Well... Wally gives her a Flash costume. Because that's a normal thing to do Wally.

Christina became 'Lady Flash' and did her own thing as a hero in Russia. Barry killed her at one point but she came back

What I'm basically saying here is that we have a small red headed, green eyed child the same age as Wally who was plucked from metahuman trafficking because she was 'genetically perfect' for speedster experiments, was the only survivor of said experiments and was found to be really strong in the speedforce, became obsessed with Wally and became a hero for him, was given the title of the Flash and, oh yeah, SHE WAS WORKING FOR RUDYS STUPID CULT.

If Wally has a secret twin it's Christina

[tunabesimpin]

Hey Tuna! <3 Congrats on the 800+ followers, you are a wonderfully sweet, and fun person who deserves all the love! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° I adore seeing your art and had so much fun participating in your last event! I wish you nothing but success and good things come your way! I made a post here with all the info you should need about Yume! But I'll add a summary here:

Yume's plus one is Idia! He didn't want to go and so they told him it was okay and he didn't have to, they could both do something else. But once Idia saw that Yume was giving up a fun experience to cater to him, he reluctantly goes because unfortunately, he is in love.

Yume’s favorite things to do in the summertime are splashing around, building sand castles, of course and getting ice cream to cope with the hot weather! They would definitely want a crack at the splash contest! But in their free time, they’d hang out with friends, eat good food, and collect shells and help Idia make sand castles! And keep Grim out of trouble!

Idia tries to peacefully stay in his shut-in area, playing hand held games in his easy fold-up beach tent, but somehow gets dragged out into the fun!

(oh and my fav color is purple! ^v^) I'll DM you the outfit refs! If you need it <3

--- It took everything in Idia to work up the courage to go the beach along Yume. Sunburns were bound to happen, sand stuck in shoes, too sunny to see his screens, the amount of people crowding around the party; There was just so many things to go wrong. But the smile on Yume's face when they arrived gave him a bit more reassurance.

Idia was determined to stay on the beach, letting Tuna drag Yume off for some splashing around. He stayed in his thoughts most of the time, wondering if it'd be better to join or leave. It wasn't long before the grey haired weirdo snuck up on him. "Idia!" Tuna exclaimed, somehow already sitting next to him "Come on~ don't you want to go play with Yume? They're dying to get some 'Idia time'." Idia scowled "Quit making things up."

Were they waiting for him? Should he join in the water with them? There's not many people where Yume's at... maybe it would be ok just to walk around together in the shallow area. While lost in his thoughts, Tuna was already taking action. Only coming back to reality as the catfish murmured "I'm taking your silence as a yes! Excuse me then!"

Lifting him off the bench, Tuna began to drag Idia into the water towards Yume. The shock of the situation left him paralyzed until they were at the shore. "WAIT- TIME OUT! I NEVER AGREED TO THIS!!!" Tuna ignored his pleas as they saw Yume run over. Tuna yelled "Look who i got for ya!"

Yume was both concerned and cracking up. Seeing their tall gamer boy lifted like a dog was too endearing. Yume held back their chuckle "Tunaaaa! Don't tease him so much!" Tuna gently placed Idia down with a huff "Fineee~ But just so you know this guy was the one mumbling about wanting walk along the shore with you."

Erupting pink, Idia stuttered his heart out, but Yume was quick to take his hand "Sorry about Tuna, but I'll take you up on your offer... if you would like to walk together still?" There was no question that he wanted to as he firmed his grip on Yumes hand "Lets do it then..." ---

BULLYING IDIA TIME LMAOOOO- I feel a bit bad cause i think Idia would shit bricks being lifted LOL but It was too funny not to HDWADVJWA Anyways we live for Yume Idia content <3 Let them have their beach anime episode !!! THANK YOU FOR COMING TO THE PARTY !!!!

[tired-old-men]

[@charleecat-bat]

Spectre phases back into the room, but rather than wearing his typical robed attire he now wears an elegant set of clothes, simple and dark in color. He sticks his hands in his pockets in an attempt to look casual, it was quite apparent that he wasn't used to this style of clothing.

Sojourner is mid getting a new cup of coffee when he spots his father in his peripheral, doing a double take, initially mistaking him for another one of those interdimentional weirdos. His jaw noticeably drops, and so does his coffee mug at his father’s appearance. 

Spectre: …Suppose, you don’t approve?

Sojourner: I… don’t think I’ve ever seen you in pants… -he looks at Spectre top to bottom in disbelief-

Spectre: I’m positive you’ve seen pictures before, I used to wear outfits such as these commonly a very long time ago, although… that was prior to your birth...

Chikki: ….So…You mean to tell me, that you unironically looked like Bruce Wayne in your youth? 

Spectre: Young adulthood in particular, and I guess you could interpret my clothing choices as such, although I have a disinterest in the character.

Iris walked in rather distractedly “hey where did Spectre g-“ they stop mid sentence, just staring at Spectre like a deer in headlights, a blush creeping on their face. 

Chikki knowing Iris’s facial expression all to well flew over to them, landing on their head to bother them playfully.

Chikki: What do you think of his edgy outfit?

Iris: -still struggling to find their words- Uh um great, he’s great, I mean he looks great….. looks good on him.. -their face noticeably turns redder as their crow friend chuckles- 

Thunderhawk: Wow! Looking good grandfather! -he smiles at Spectre approvingly.

Spectre nods at Thunderhawk appreciatively, yet he couldn’t help but think about his outfit choices throughout the decades. While he cleaned up nicely it was’t really always his deliberate choice to do so. He had grown to have a way with keeping up with appearances, to conceal the harsh details of his youth. It wasn’t until the incident that led him to change his lifestyle completely, subsequently embracing the non conformity of his new attire. His helmet and his carefully crafted robes, concealing most of his body; he’d grown to see them as a form of personal comfort for him. 

Spectre: Iris, you may inform your friend this was an interesting experience but I much prefer my robes. I create my robes after all, they have a quality to them that can’t be replicated by store-bough clothing, they serve to have a functional purpose as well. 

Iris now even more visibly flustered being called out by name, just gives Spectre a nod and a thumbs up in acknowledgment, before he turns to leave. Phasing back into thin air, disappearing to his room to change into a more comfortable set of robes. 

[some-zer0]

Jotting down some of the main ideas of my Assistant Dahlia AU so I can reference them later! This is a long post, so I'm putting it under the cut.

•Like in canon, when Fawles escapes, Valerie tells Dahlia she's going to meet him and tell him the truth. But, unlike in canon, Dahlia decides to run off and hide in a major city instead of, y'know, stabbing Valerie and framing Fawles. By a stroke of fate, she finds out that Mia lives there as well, and shows up on her doorstep asking her "darling older cousin (whom I so admire and adore)" for a place to crash

•At first, Dahlia sticks close to Mia's place, but after a while that gets too boring so she decides to tag along with Mia at work (and if her backup plan is to shove Mia in the way if Fawles or Valerie find her, then hey)

•Dahlia acts as the cynical skeptic to Mia's rookie faith, forcing her to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Instead of "believe in your clients to the very end," Dahlia is very much "why should you believe in your client at all?" This actually results in Mia's faith in her clients being stronger, since she has to constantly defend them outside of court

•Dahlia still doesn't get along with Diego, lmao, but it's more along the lines of them finding each other super annoying. Diego thinks Dahlia is mean, stuck-up, and using Mia for her own gain; Dahlia thinks Mia can do better than that weirdo. Although they don't get along, they do both care about Mia (despite Dahlia's best attempts at hating her) so sometimes they end up agreeing, which is unsettling for everyone involved

•Edgeworth is still the prosecutor for Mia's first case, but because the defendant isn't Fawles the trial lasts several days instead of one, so Mia, Edgeworth, and Dahlia actually get to interact outside of court. Dahlia-Edgeworth interactions are very much "self-recognition of bitchiness through the other's equal amount of bitchiness." Mia is so very tired of both of them

•Diego is still co-counsel for Mia's first trial and Mia still ends up losing (albeit not because of a suicide on the stand). Mia is distraught when she gets home and Diego is busy comforting her, so Dahlia is able to slip out unnoticed and confront Edgeworth in his office. Dahlia's confrontation of Edgeworth ends up rattling both of them. Dahlia is disturbed by the fact that she's not only gotten so attached to Mia, but also that she's ended up believing in Mia's client as well. Edgeworth is disturbed by the fact that he may have just unfairly convicted an innocent person. Cue an identity crisis for both of them

•Mia takes a few more cases after her first trial, fueled by a determination to appeal her first client's case once she has more experience. I think I'll leave these cases ambiguous, since the thing I want to focus on is Dahlia's character development over the course of these cases. At least one of these interim cases has Payne as prosecution, and the last case is definitely Edgeworth again (but Mia wins this time). Edgeworth confronts Mia after and DL-6 gets brought up. (Dahlia: "What the FUCK are you two talking about?")

•Mia's fear that by leaving Kurain she's abandoned Maya bleeds into Dahlia's misgivings over having pushed for Iris to live at Hazakura, so when Dahlia finds out about Pearl's existence she decides to visit Kurain. She wants to check in on Maya and Pearl, since (as the spiritual-powerless daughter of the person who'd originally been slated to be Master) she doesn't have good memories of living in Kurain under her mother's care, but she's also avoiding visiting Iris by visiting Pearl instead

•The above point definitely revolves around my headcanon that Dahlia is the older twin, so there was originally supposed to be a strong chance of her becoming the future Master, but because she didn't have spiritual powers (or at least not strong ones) that chance faded away and Morgan sent her and Iris to live away from Kurain. Prior to it becoming obvious that Dahlia wasn't going to be able to channel, though, Morgan pushed her extremely hard in an attempt to awaken her powers

•The visit to Kurain is generally awkward but okay until the last day, when Dahlia gets into a huge fight with Morgan. Dahlia storms off and ends up impulsively heading over to Hazakura, where she runs into Fawles, who's been hiding there for the past few months. Mia shows up, having been called by Maya after Dahlia and Morgan's fight, only to find Fawles dead and Dahlia's hands bloody

•Dahlia originally refuses to accept Mia as her defense, although she finally ends up caving at the last moment. Edgeworth is once again the prosecutor for the trial. Dahlia definitely makes Mia's job hard, insisting she murdered Fawles in cold blood. Over the course of the trial, however, the events that led Dahlia to fake her death in the first place are slowly revealed, and the final twist is that it had been Iris who accidentally killed Fawles after she witnessed Fawles grab Dahlia during their confrontation. Dahlia is declared not guilty and Iris is arrested instead, although her sentence ends up being relatively light due to the circumstances (aka she genuinely believed Dahlia's life to be in danger and hadn't intended to kill Fawles)

•After her trial, Dahlia decides that she wants to be in control of her own life from now on. Although it's a bit cliche, I think that she decides to start studying law, although she wouldn't intend to be a defense attorney. I'm split between her wanting to be a prosecutor in order to ensure that those who hurt others are properly held accountable (thereby serving as a foil to Edgeworth) or her wanting to go into family court so that she can help other kids who are stuck in a bad family situation (like she wishes someone had done for her and Iris, and also so that she can protect Maya and Pearl if necessary)

•I also think it would be hilarious if at some point after the focus of this AU, Phoenix ends up becoming Dahlia's weirdgirl friend. Like, he's still an art major and Dahlia's not an actual lawyer yet, so he's not really an assistant, but he keeps running into Dahlia and hanging around to help her out (because for some godforsaken reason he's taken more law classes than her at this point, even though he acts like he hasn't 90% of the time). This is partially because I think that a Dahlia-Phoenix friendship would be absolutely hilarious, and partially because it grants the possibility of Dahlia inadvertently trapping Phoenix and Edgeworth in a conversation with one another, which I think she would find simultaneously hysterical and deeply concerning

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 9: Broken Armed and Dangerous

Life in the Man Cave had resumed being like it ever was. Not normal, life in those four walls was never normal, not with Ray and his bad decisions, Schwoz and his mad experiments, Jasper with his weird comments, and the endless exasperation of (y/n), Henry and Charlotte.

Nevertheless, after the escapade with Rick Twitler, they'd fallen back into the same rhythm that they'd always worked to; fun, laughter and a few fights in between. Of course, Henry was still getting used to being stripped of his superpowers and there had been a few mishaps during emergencies where his reaction times hadn't been great since everything was so much slower now. He was trying his best, bless his little heart, and things had been going fine for the most part...until today, that is.

"In our number two story tonight, The Playground Pooper has struck again," Mary Gaperman reported as Jasper, Charlotte and Schwoz giggled at the news. As always when Captain Man and his sidekicks were out on a mission, they were left to sit around and do nothing--or watch the news and eat sorbet from tennis balls. Y'know, something normal. 

"The Swellview Police suddenly have more doodies than usual because someone or something has been using Swellview playgrounds every night as a toilet," Trent went on, resulting in more laughter from the three. It wasn't the most serious crime, even if it was disgusting for the parents who had very curious toddlers in the sandpit the next day but the way they were reporting this pooper was hilarious. Was it on purpose or were they oblivious to every pun they made related to poo?

"Police have piles of evidence, but have yet to arrest the prankster, despite being flushed with clues."

"Has the news always been this funny?" Jasper asked as he ate another spoonful of sorbet and his friends laughed and shrugged. If it was always this funny, they'd watch more often since nothing fun ever happened when the heroes were out saving people. Good thing they were back then.

As they carried on eating, the tubes beeped and dropped, bringing down Ray with (y/n) in his embrace, nothing out of the ordinary there, and a rather glum-looking Henry, who was clutching his arm. And with their arrival came a problem, not that the helpers were interested.

"We got a bad situation here, people," (y/n) announced as she helped Henry down the stairs, her hand in the small of his back so he didn't trip and hurt himself even more than he already was. There had been a small incident during their time away and it was no laughing matter judging by how the kid kept wincing with every jolt or movement. And understandably, Ray was just as concerned as his sweet girl, although not as focused, unfortunately.

"We know... The Playground Pooper has struck again," Charlotte stood up, folded her arms and replied in a dark, serious tone that mocked the gravity of the real situation. In fairness to her, she didn't know that her friend needed some genuine assistance urgently, otherwise, she probably wouldn't have been so jovial, but her playfulness caused Ray's eyes to light up at the name of his new favourite lowlife and instantly, Henry didn't matter as much.

"No way! Really?!" the hero barked out, laughing with his helpers when he heard about the weirdo who couldn't stop crapping in public, but neither Kid nor Miss Danger was in a joking mood. Did the sight of him holding his left arm to his chest not mean anything to them?

"Ummm, no, actually it's a little bit of a different bad situation--ow!"

"Shhh! I wanna hear this!" Ray interrupted his youngest sidekick so he could hear the news report, not even blinking when he whacked the kid's poor arm despite his injury. (y/n) glared at her adorable idiot for being so mean and absentminded because the resulting groan from him and any possible aggravation to the injury made her heart sore. 

"Raymond, we've got bigger prob--hey!" she went to scold him, prodding his arm as he sat down on the arm of the couch and stared at the monitor happily. His attention was fully trained on what the news anchors were saying, but that didn't stop him from seizing her body with an iron grip and dragging her onto his knee, thinking that the amusing story could only get better if he hugged his sweet girl to his chest and laughed with her. And normally, (y/n) would love to laugh with him, if Henry wasn't in serious pain.

"Police have no idea who is doing the dumping; an angry teen, a large baby, Mary. No one knows."

"It's a real poo-dunnit," Mary smiled and they all laughed at her little joke, well, everyone apart from Henry, who wrinkled his nose when he saw that (y/n) was trying to fight off a smile. Oh, come on, he got that she and Ray were touchier than ever after nearly losing each other for the fiftieth time but seriously? He dragged her into his arms and now she was losing her focus just because his lips brushed the curve of her ear and the grumbling of his laughter made her tummy feel funny. Talk about no resilience.

"A poo-dunnit... It's probably Jasper," Ray smiled and dropped as he mentioned his guess, much to the boy's shock and annoyance. Who said anything about it being him? He wasn't depraved or an animal, weird, yes, a wrong-un, no.

"What?!"

"I was just gonna going to say that!" Schwoz agreed with his boss, which was a bit ironic given how weird he was himself. He was strange but Jasper had a specific type of weirdness, one that screamed pooping in public when no one was around but he'd never do that, not since he'd outgrown most of his weirdness. 

"It's not me!"

"I don't know, Jasper...it just smells like something you'd do," Charlotte joked, causing another round of laughter from the group as they teased the boy. He wasn't best pleased and neither was Henry, who could swear that the throbbing was getting worse and giving him a headache, or maybe that was merely the frustrating lack of help.

"That's actually really funny, that's actually really funny--all right, joke's over," Jasper pouted and walked away from the couch with a bruised ego. They could laugh all they wanted, the only thing he did at night was sleep, not go off doing his business in playgrounds.

"I'm not joking, I seriously think it's you," Ray replied in one of the most serious voices (y/n) had ever heard him use, one that was only reserved for when he seriously needed to say sorry or if he was deadly serious about something. 

"Okay, guys, can we focus on what happened to me, please?" Henry tried again, appealing to (y/n) by meeting her gaze as she turned in Ray's arms in a bid for freedom. He was still clingy and she had no choice but to slouch against him again but she could at least put a word in for the kid. After all, Ray only ever properly listened to her.

"Raymond, we should focus on Henry and—oh, look! They're talking about you, that's kinda freaky..." the woman trailed off when her point became useless as Trent and Mary moved onto the next big story of the night, which just so happened to hit closer to home, unlike the Playground Pooper. 

Ray grinned and slapped the kid's arm again, delighted that his sidekick was in the news because any publicity is good publicity, right? It made (y/n) glare at him again but with his nose pushed into her hair and his eyes trained on the monitor, he couldn't see his mistake. What a doofus.

"In non-funny news, witnesses say that Kid Danger, while teaming up with Captain Man and Miss Danger to fight super-criminal, Doctor Karaté, broke his arm this evening," Mary reported, causing everyone not in the know to look at Henry in horror. No wonder he was holding his arm like that, the poor kid had taken a serious beating and was now seriously hurt. 

Everyone had seen it happen and Captain Man may or may not have had a slight panic attack about his youngest sidekick being hurt, which resulted in Miss Danger having to keep calm and reassure him that it wasn't too bad. The only bad thing was how quickly the paps seemed to pick up on it.

"You broke your arm?!" Jasper asked his friend, a gasp escaping his mouth at the shock and horror. His dear best friend, wounded and hurt, didn't serve thinking about it. 

"That's what I've been trying to tell you guys!" Henry exclaimed, feeling beyond frustrated that it was only now that he could explain what had happened during what should have been a normal, bog-standard mission, " Doctor Karaté karate-chopped my arm."

"I bet you wish you still had your superpower," Jasper noted, unintentionally rubbing salt in the wound for Henry, who was still a tad bitter about losing his power but he hadn't let it bother him until now. There was nothing he could do, so there was no point in feeling sorry for himself, but come on, it sucked when someone made it worse when he was trying his best.

"Yeah."

"Because if you still had your super-fast reflexes, you could have just...moved out of the way!"

"All right, I got it!" The boy snapped at his friend. It wasn't like Henry to get irate but Jasper was kinda asking for it with his subtle taunts.

"Hey, snappy, calm down...we've had enough flying fists for one night," (y/n) told him, freeing herself from Ray's deadlocked embrace to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. She still had one arm around her waist, keeping her close—joined-at-the-hip close—but the gesture was enough for Henry to ignore how clingy his boss was being tonight. The kid was beaten up enough, there was no need for conflict to be brought home and certainly not between best friends.

"You guys, this is really bad," Charlotte said as Schwoz waddled over to examine Henry's arm—not that he didn't trust Miss Danger's eye for injuries, but a second opinion never hurt. For some reason unknown to everyone else, the girl looked perturbed as if she'd realised something no one else had, not even her fellow smarty-pants. To be fair, it had been a stressful night and no one can clock on to everything.

"It's just a broken arm," Schwoz told her as he poked it. He didn't understand her tone; in his mind, he thought she was worried about the severity of the injury, not any repercussions because of it. "We'll cut it off, it'll grow right back."

"What?! No!" Henry blanched at the prognosis and treatment, his terrified eyes looking for (y/n) for help since she was the best nurse he'd ever had. He loved his arm, he hadn't finished with it yet and he sure as hell hoped she wouldn't let the funny bald guy cut it off. They weren't gonna do that, were they?

"That's not how arms work, Schwoz! Geez, where'd you get your science degree? A thrift store?" The woman gave him a funny look because no scientist had ever learned that in school. Maybe it came from his long, lonely stints in the lab where he'd experiment until the early hours with mutants and freaks, sewing arms onto legs and legs onto heads—things everyone else tended to avoid. They didn't ask and he didn't say, so perhaps he was getting his biology mixed up.

"Oh, right, that's a starfish..." Schwoz nodded with an understanding smile, having realised his mistake. Weirdo. What starfish had he been messing with? And why did Henry trigger the same knowledge? As the others pondered his peculiar habits, Charlotte stepped forward, feeling the same burn in her chest as Henry had—the need to shout something out so it didn't eat her alive.

"Listen! What's bad is that if everyone in Swellview knows that Kid Danger broke his arm tonight, then Henry Hart suddenly shows up tomorrow morning with a broken arm, then any idiot can put two and two together and figure out that Henry is Kid Danger," she explained and suddenly, a wave of uneasiness came over the group. Well, most of it, only those who took her worry onboard understood her argument.

"She has a point. It certainly looks suspicious and people aren't as stupid as they look," (y/n) added, agreeing with Charlotte because if she had noticed the similarities, surely someone else would too, someone who wasn't in on the secret. They were the right height, age, build, appearance, everything, an observant kid could see that Kid Danger and Henry Hart were the same.

"I don't know... I don't think anyone's going to put anyth—" Schwoz started, his opinion differing from the girls' because it was just one of those worries that would never come to fruition. Henry had been going to school ever since he started working and no one had even come close to seeing the truth. Why was now any different? A broken arm? People are dumb, that wouldn't prove anything.

"I just put two and two together!" Or not. It truly said something about his confidence in the stupidity of the human race when the slowest lady in the city saw the obvious. Seriously, Mary Gaperman outsmarted Schwoz, it couldn't be true.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes! People should look out for a boy about Kid Danger's height, about Kid Danger's age, who has a newly broken arm, because that boy would be..." For once in her life, and to Trent's amazement, Mary was on the verge of a breakthrough, her grey cells working harder than ever to come to an astounding conclusion. Everyone was on edge but whilst some citizens were desperate to hear her big theory, the Man Cave team were hoping a meteorite hit the news studio in the next three seconds. 

"Keep going, Mary..."

"No, stay right where you are, Mary. Keep your mouth shut..." (y/n) begged silently, hoping that the woman, who she'd always been quite fond of, would hear her plea. It had been a long night and they still had to set Henry's arm, she didn't fancy having a possible exposure situation involving every kid at Swellview High knowing who Kid Danger was.

"The Playground Pooper?" Mary offered her co-host, who winced at her inability to complete her brilliant moment. Ray and his family breathed a sigh of relief at the small miracle, thanking the universe for making Mary so dim-witted because it had saved them a heap of trouble. It wasn't very exciting for the tabloids but what they didn't know, wouldn't hurt them—or anyone else.

"Oooh, so close! No, Mary, that boy would be Kid Danger." And just like that, Trent took their miracle and tore it into little pieces, something that was so delightful for him because who doesn't like a juicy story?

They groaned, they shouted, they stomped their feet because Charlotte had been right, any idiot could see the correlation and now there was gonna be a damn witch-hunt for the kid who turned up to school with a cast.

"See?!"

"Okay, we have a big problem on our hands." Schwoz conceded. Yeah, now he agreed with her, now it was too late to do anything. 

"I agree. How are we going to get Jasper to stop pooping in playgrounds?" Ray joked, his small way of breaking the ice in the grave moment. (y/n) gave him a small smile for his effort, just enough to make it worth it because a pouty fiancé was no fun and if Henry's identity wasn't at risk then it would've been quite funny if a little infuriating for the kid being mocked.

"It's not me!" It probably wasn't Jasper, they knew he was a freak but he wasn't that big of a freak. No, he was innocent but winding him up was so much fun that they weren't gonna stop poking fun just yet. After all, the jokes didn't stink that bad.

~

First things first. Get Henry's arm fixed. 

Not even Schwoz had the technology to magically get it back to normal straight away, at least not in a way that Henry was comfortable with, so as he scanned the broken bone, he and (y/n) (the supervising nurse), agreed to go for something more traditional. 

A simple, plain cast that would hold the bone in place as it healed would do fine and whilst it would be difficult to explain to his family, Henry was happy with that option. It didn't involve amputation or fire or exsanguination so it was fine—plus, it was kinda cool to see his injury flash up on Schwoz's monitor.

"That thing detect muscles too, Schwoz? 'Cause I'm looking at Henry's arm and I'm not seeing any," Ray teased as he loitered around the couch, observing his sidekick as he longed out of uniform and allowed Schwoz to scan his arm. He was bored, that much was obvious, and he'd taken to making playful jokes at the kid since the scene was so dull and serious. 

Namely, his lack of upper body strength since the kid lacked any kind of bulk given that he was still a child and he, the bulkiest guy around, had muscles to spare—something he was showing off in his tight t-shirt for one lovely-looking nurse.

"Nice. Just broke my arm. Perfect time to start making fun of me," Henry offered his jovial boss a sarcastic smile, not best pleased with how he loved to point out his deficiencies when he was already down. Yeah, he hadn't started bodybuilding yet, and yeah, his wrists still went all the way up his arms, but it didn't mean he couldn't punch a guy in the face for being an ass.

"It was a joke, relax!"

"Don't poke the bear then, Mr Muscles," (y/n) teased her doofus back as she crossed the room just to squeeze his bicep. It was easy for him to make fun of others when he already had the body of a Greek god but he had to remember one thing; he was just as skinny once upon a time. He'd drunk a million protein shakes, pressed a million press-ups and punched a million bad guys to get where he was with his fitness and now he had the right to show off in front of his drooling fiancée, but no right to make fun of the kid who might just out-muscle him one day.

"I'm not poking anything, darlin'. It was funny! Did he break his funny bone too?" The hero smirked and practically became putty in her hands as she not-so-subtly felt his arms and the rippling muscles that he not-so-subtly flexed under her touch. He knew she had a thing for them since they were so big that she couldn't get her hands around them and seeing her so in love with the sight of them was exactly his style.

"Actually, he did!" Schwoz told him, pointing to the screen where he had an x-ray scan of Henry's broken arm and it showed a clean break in a particular bone. 

"Oh, yeah...look, doofus, the break is in his humerus bone," (y/n) pointed out to her lover, making the impossible task of taking her focus away from his hot body in favour of making sure he looked at the scan. The hero stepped past his lover, placing a kiss on her shoulder as he did, and bent over to look at his sidekick's arm because somewhere under the skin, there was the break his smart girl had shown him.

"Oh, yeah! Right there!" He grinned and jabbed the sore arm, which, understandably, pissed the kid off. It wasn't his day.

"Hey! What the heck, dude?! Stop!"

"Where's my finger poking?"

"What are you doing? Who does that? Stop! Stop! You're literally touching the most broken part of my bone right now! Can you stop?! (y/n), control your man-child fiancé!" Henry screeched as Ray prodded his arm, loving how he could see his finger and the bones beneath his skin on the scan whenever he did. It was just a bit of fun for him, but for Henry, each stab was an agonising sting.

"Okay, easy! She doesn't control me..." Ray backed off when the teen got vicious, his hands held up in surrender. Yeah, (y/n) didn't control him, that would be weird but she had some influence, especially when it came to tempt him away from annoying others.

"Stop terrorising the kid, doofus, and come over here," (y/n) smiled at him and dragged the man off to the side so Henry could receive Schwoz's treatment in peace. Reaching up on her tiptoes, the woman brought her lover into a gentle kiss, sighing happily when those arms that he loved to show off wrapped around her small form. That would keep him quiet for long enough as he refused to let go, only venturing deeper for the taste of honey.

"Ugh, gross...what are we doing? What's the plan?" Henry wrinkled his nose at the sight of them but didn't look a gift horse in the mouth and so moved on very quickly. If (y/n) could keep Ray entertained then who was he to stop that, even if the way he crowded her seemed to be a little overbearing? She seemed to like it, after all, she hadn't even swatted away his hands on her...yet. If they couldn't get a room, maybe he'd shove them into one.

"The plan is...you blow a bubble and fix your arm trouble," Schwoz replied, ignoring whatever were those strange noises that were coming from behind him, no doubt from the handsy hero as he ate the face of his quivering sweet girl. Give him strength, it was only his clever pun that gave him the strength to go on...or whip out his altar for them to get the marriage thing over and done with now.

"See? I can do rhymes too.."

"Pfff! Big—deal, you did a—rhyme. I do them all the..." Ray mumbled in between kisses and rolled his eyes when he noticed that Schwoz was giving him a mean glare. What? He couldn't help it if the sight of his floppy hair, tight shirt and huge biceps made his sweet girl want to kiss him and he couldn't help it if her just being her made him want to find a flat surface and revert to his caveman instincts. Was it really that bad to be in love with the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with?

"Come on, doof, you can do it."

"...Every day." So close and yet so far. (y/n) giggled as Ray fell at the last hurdle, proving that whilst he was the cool hero, his quips weren't always the best, which was probably why he often spent hours coming up with them with his precious girl when they were tucked up in bed and too tired to do...other things.

"You're adorable, Raymond. Y'know that?" The woman in his arms remarked and sealed their lips again as his ears turned pink. Ignoring the loved-up couple once more, albeit, with a hidden smile on his face, Henry blew the bubble that Schwoz had handed to him; a simple yet effective method of getting a cast on his arm. It materialised, plaster wrapped with blue gauze and despite it already being a few seconds, Henry's arm felt better already.

"Hey, whoa!" "Nice cast, Schwoz! This problem is...solved!" Ray grinned, wandering over to inspect the new addition to Henry's outfit. He hadn't learnt his lesson, not at all, as he slapped the cast for good measure, and despite the solid plaster, the resounding thunk was still painful for Henry and his tender arm. He'd not pull any more faces if the kissing came back, kissing meant his arm wasn't a target.

"Ow! This problem is not solved," he winced but stayed focused on how they'd dealt with his arm, but not the big issue that they'd all been worried about. Had the kiss fried his brain or could he genuinely not remember?

"Why not?" Or maybe he was just stupid. Henry had long suspected that his boss wasn't playing with a full deck but now it was confirmed. He was dumb and a terrible listener, something which worsened when there was a certain pretty girl around.

"Because, doofus, if people see that Henry broke his arm, then they'll know he's Kid Danger, remember?"

"Oh, yeahhhh! You're so smart, sweet girl..." (y/n) blushed as Ray gave her his dopiest smile and trailed kisses across her cheek to her lips, a well-deserved reward, he thought, for the girl who kept him in line when he was being an idiot. He couldn't help himself, not when she was standing there, looking all pretty and sweet and perfect, and not when she'd been biting her lip non-stop the moment he changed out of his uniform and into the shirt he'd bought two sizes too small for him.

"Dude! How am I gonna hide this cast until my arm heals?" Henry butted in. They were going to be soon, couldn't this wait? Then, they'd have all night to do whatever floated their boat, so all he wanted right now, was a few minutes of their time to come up with a sensible plan. One that Ray wasn't gonna find at the back of (y/n)'s throat, so there was no point in looking there.

"Ugh! Easy!... We break Henry's other arm."

"Doofus..." Being interrupted didn't go down very well with the hero, who now had a ridiculous idea in his head and no warning note in his fiancée's voice was gonna shut him up as he dragged her towards the couch. If he could kiss her like he sorely wanted to, then he'd offer up his ideas, even if they weren't very good.

"So, he'll have two broken arms and that way, nobody will think he's Kid Danger. This problem is...solved," Ray smirked and flopped down onto the couch next to Henry, who gave him a bored look as he pulled his sweet girl into his lap too. He expected to be allowed to resume their activities, tonsil tennis mainly, but for once, (y/n) jerked her head away from his when he went in for another kiss, meaning his lips landed on her jawline instead. Hell, he could work with that, it often lead to something more than kisses anyway.

"You're not breaking my arm, dude," Henry said firmly, watching with squinted eyes as Ray spread his legs even further to try and coax (y/n) into his chest more, his attention on her than anything else. It was just one of those nights, he was feeling touchy, but the stupidity of breaking another arm didn't fix the problem, it made it worse.

"Okay, Schwoz'll do it."

"Raymond—Ray—okay, stop!" (y/n) scolded him in between giggles as his nose tickled its way down the column of her neck and tried to brush against her own. She had an excellent point and whilst she'd love nothing more than to bask in his attention, there was a serious floor in his plan. 

"Don't you think that if Henry Hart turns up with two broken arms, then it'll be exactly the same when Kid Danger also turns up with two broken arms? Either way, the problem won't go away with your plan."

"Oh, yeah..." Ray looked slightly downcast as he realised what she was saying but immediately perked up when she pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose to cheer him up. It wasn't the best idea ever, but he was trying and that warmed her heart anyway. 

"I have a different plan," Schwoz announced and smiled at them as he too tapped Henry's arm, causing the boy to wince yet again. When were people gonna realise that doing that caused him severe pain? At least it was fleeting, that was a bonus, and he quickly forgot about the agony shooting up his arm as Charlotte and Jasper appeared from the sprocket carrying...stuff. The genius had sent them on a small mission to find a few things for him, all of which he hoped would help Henry blag his way through the healing process.

"Hey, I found the case of fake arms!" Jasper yelled as he trotted down the steps with the large silver case that was full of prosthetics, which would hopefully provide them with a semi-decent solution to the kid's problem. 

"Where was it?"

"Right by that big jar of real legs," the boy replied, causing (y/n) to shiver in Ray's arms at the thought of what the handyman kept in storage. There weren't many rooms that she didn't like going in but that was definitely one of them—real pickled legs were just too freaky for her.

"Why do you have a jar of real legs?" Henry questioned, getting the same sense of freakiness as Ray hugged his fiancée tighter, anything to make her feel better. He wouldn't let her go in that room, he preferred to keep her happy and if need be, he'd suck up his fears and go into the leg room.

"A guy owed me twenty bucks. He paid me in legs," Schwoz answered, proving that he was a bigger weirdo than Henry originally thought and leaving him wishing he hadn't asked. What sort of guys did Schwoz talk to? Were there people out there who were missing legs that were actually in the Man Cave? So many questions...

"And this is the biggest sweater I could find. It was just in a drawer, not near any body parts, thank God." Charlotte moved on and tossed an alarmingly large sweater to Schwoz. It was so large that it could only be one person's and luckily for Henry, it wasn't contaminated by anything human.

"Okay, we give Henry one of these fake arms, then we hide his cast with a sweater from when Ray really loved horses," the genius explained, holding out the freakishly large sweater, patterned with two galloping horses in a desert scene. Honestly, it was a bit hideous, not because the horses were ugly or anything but it was quite gauche, gaudy, maybe even tacky by some people, and (y/n) had never been more thankful for anything that Ray's weird obsession had been nothing more than a phase. 

Was it three or four years ago? Maybe five, back when she'd wait up for her best friend and find him coming home all hot and sweaty from his time with the horses because Captain Man loved a challenge and the stallions gave him one. He'd bought horse bed sheets, horse mugs, horse shoes, horse t-shirts, horse sweaters, even a horse alarm clock and he wondered why their friendship had been a little tense for those few, agonisingly long months. Seriously, she thought she was losing her doofus to an animal.

"Oh, yeah, I used to race 'em. They always beat me, though," the man replied, earning himself a few funny looks when he added the second part. Gone was the prestige of being involved in horse racing and in came the judgement of a guy who was so stubborn and boastful that he thought he could run at forty miles per hour. 

"Oh, Raymond. You're so adorable sometimes—even if the damn horses drove me insane," (y/n) pinched his cheeks as she would with a cute child, finding him even more irresistible when he squirmed and blushed. He'd had a million phases since that one, ranging from fad diets to train-spotting, and every time, she tolerated and encouraged his hobbies until he moved on to the next. 

The important thing was that she remained a constant, a passion he could never shake, not that he'd ever want to; he knew that for all his flaws, his sweet girl was here to stay.

"Okay, I've got a lot of arm options for you but we have to find just the right one. Soooo, fake arm fashion show!" Schwoz exclaimed and began waving two of his fake arms around as Jasper, Ray, (y/n) and Charlotte cheered. Henry looked rather confused as he clapped them underneath his leg because what the hell was happening? Couldn't he just have a look?

Of course not, fashion shows were exciting and they gave his friends a chance to judge his every move as they worked through the case for something excellent. He didn't have much of a choice.

~

The stage was set. The screen had been erected so Henry could shove the arm into the sweater and he was ready to show off his first choice. The sweater was big and comfy, so that posed no problems. The only concern he had was for how...shit the arm looked as it was pinned to the sleeve. Well, that and how he looked like a true saddo with his little horsies on his chest as it wasn't the most subtle garment, more like a magnet for school bullies.

Apart from that, however, the arm was in place and as long as no one looked too close and he didn't shake the brace that held it to his body too much, it should be fine. Time to show his friends.

The group sat on the couch waiting with bated breath as they sipped on their fancy sodas through curly straws. Jasper, Charlotte and (y/n) were sat on the couch, poised for some serious judging as Schwoz and Ray stood behind them, leaning on the back with the latter resting his chin on the shoulder of the woman in front of him. He couldn't wait to whisper nonsense about the show in her ear and see her shiver but as Henry stepped out, the electricity in the room seemed to fizzle out.

"Hey..."

"That works..."

"Oh, yeah."

"I like it. It's a ten-out-of-ten arm," they ad-libbed, admiring how from a distance (and if they squinted their eyes a bit), the arm looked real. Maybe a bit plastic-y and awkward given the angle it fell from the sleeve but apart from that and the fact that he could pick anything up, it looked great. No improvement was needed, which was a bit of a disappointment since there was no need to carry on now that they'd found the perfect prosthetic.

"Seems good," Henry stated, feeling comfortable with his new-fake arm, even if his cast was getting pretty warm and itchy under the cheap sweater, and he could see the puzzled, disappointed faces of his friends when they realised that the show was over before it began.

"Man, I really thought that would take longer," Charlotte said as she swirled her drink with her straw. What were the odds that the first arm out of the case would be the one they were looking for?

"Me too, but you know, sometimes, the first arm just feels right," Ray replied and with a final peck on his sweet girl's cheek, stood up now that they had nothing to watch, which was a shame given that his opportunity to flirt had gone down the metaphorical toilet. 

"Yep, first arm's always right."

"That is what they say."

"Who actually says that?"

"So, once again, this problem is...solved," the hero reiterated, smirking at his youngest sidekick now that they'd found a solution to the problem, meaning he didn't have to worry about it and therefore, he could focus on other things...like whisking (y/n) away to somewhere more private. But, as always, it wasn't that simple, because even though he'd fastened and secured the arm in place as Schwoz had shown him, Henry could feel how clunky and surreal the thing was as it poked him in the ribs.

"Uh, once again, the problem is not solved. I mean, dude, this sweater and fake arm might work for, like, a day but it's not gonna fool people for long. I mean, look at this thing," the kid argued and proved his point by swinging his body to show how the arm didn't naturally follow his movements, it just floundered in the air and stuck out like a sore thumb. Without a doubt, someone at school or in his family was gonna see the latex and realise the truth—what then?

"Try tucking it into your pocket. That way, it won't flap about the place," (y/n) suggested, thinking that if the arm was secured in a natural position, it would look more real. Plus, it would be less likely to get snagged on something, so Henry was inclined to follow her sound advice, that is until Ray decided to make a madness out of it.

"Or, hook your thumb through your belt loop. That's what I do whenever I want to look cool and tough. I mean, one look of me like this and I was engaged to be married," the hero smirked as he stood there with his fingers dangling from his waistband and (y/n) scoffed a laugh at his outrageous joking. Sure, in his dreams; whilst she had to admit that any pose he did was cute, this one wasn't it. He looked awkward and like a doofus, and it wasn't what made her agree to marry him. That was a long list ranging from his floppy hair to his goofy personality; belt loops be damned.

"Keep telling yourself that, Ra—"

"Oh, yeah! Just try this, Henry," Jasper, being the suck-up and bonehead he was, jumped in to back his boss up, believing that the ridiculous pose was something to be proud of, something that made them edgy, something that made them appeal to girls. The boy needed more appeal than the elder, but even he felt epic as he pushed out his pelvis and leaned back with a cocky smirk on his face. He only had one girl to impress but even though she loved the sight of him in that shirt, he looked so silly.

"You look cool, man."

"Yeah, you look cool too. What's up?" They complimented each other as they obnoxiously exaggerated their thumbs poking through the denim, wiggling their hips and flaring their fingers so they looked like idiots. Yeah, Henry wasn't gonna do that, he wanted to attract girls, not scare them off.

"Yeah, I'm not doing that."

"Your loss." Ray shrugged and turned to smirk at his sweet girl, who was shaking her head with a soft smile. He was a dork, but he was her dork, and having him looming over her wasn't so bad. As long as Charlotte was on-hand to stop Henry from doing something idiotic, she could admire him as much as she wanted and long for the minute they were free to go to bed.

"Or...tomorrow morning, at school, we stage a fake accident where Henry can pretend to break his fake arm in front of everyone," the teen girl shared her plan and for once, it was a genuinely sensible one. No craziness, no far-fetched details, nothing that could go wrong and Henry liked the sound of it because whilst he loved some of Ray's insane ideas, sometimes, they were a bit much. After everything that had happened that night, he just wanted to get this problem solved without any more problems.

"Yes! Then, I'll have an excuse for my broken arm and people won't think I'm Kid Danger."

"Exactly! And, we do something simple, like Jasper accidentally closes your fake arm into his locker. Done," Charlotte suggested and it was like music to Henry's ears. He liked the sound of that, no frills, no lace, no fancy, unnecessary bits, just a straightforward accident that could be explained in such a dull way that no one would question it. Perfect.

"Problem actually solved."

"Perfect."

"I like it."

"Good, we don't want any more accidents around here," the group were all in agreement; it was a great plan. Schwoz, Henry, Charlotte, Jasper and (y/n) were ready to get the plan going, meaning the kids would be left to sort it out themselves since it would be highly weird for a happily engaged couple and their oddball handyman to show up at a high school. Extremely weird. 

Therefore, it would be best to let them get on with it, after all, fewer people meant fewer complications, which someone should've told Ray.

"Yawn," he added to the end of their happy chittering, meaning they couldn't leave the problem there because he, the boss, the guy in charge, wasn't satisfied, much to (y/n)'s confusion and slight annoyance. What had his panties in a bunch now?

"Uh, what?"

"Doofus, what's up with you?" The sidekicks looked at him with bored expressions as the man sucked up the last of his drink. He had that expression on his face that told his precious girl that he thought that he knew best, which everyone knew was never the case. It was very rare for Ray Manchester to have an intellectual advantage over someone else and it was almost certain that he wasn't thinking with his brain, more like with his ego.

"Oh, I said yawn because that plan puts me to sleep," Ray replied rather arrogantly and (y/n)'s adoring looks turned sour.

"Uh, I'm sorry?" Charlotte, however, hadn't had the years of experience that she had, and hadn't figured out a method for breaking through his pigheadedness, so for her, his abrasive argument was a bit shocking. Almost as if she couldn't believe her ears.

"I mean...it's boring! It'll work, probably great...but where's the funny?" He asked, fingertips touching fingertips in a cocky pose as he looked down at the girl from his high horse, something that didn't sit well with his fiancée. Did he want to get some tonight or was he deliberately trying to be obnoxious? Why did everything have to be funny? It didn't make sense; sometimes, it's better to get the problem over and done with, rather than messing with it until it's even bigger than it was to begin with.

"Raymond, we're not trying to be funny."

"Uh, mission accomplished, sweet girl," he booped her nose, causing her to wrinkle it up in a way that he found adorable, especially when it was paired with her moody pout. He didn't mean to cause any aggro, but he was certain that they could do this a different way, one that result in a school incident that was so hilarious it would go down in the history books. Maybe it was because he never got the chance to be a school prankster, a class clown, or anything school related, perhaps he wanted to live that childhood experience whilst he still could. After all, it's not like the kids would be around forever.

"I got a better, funnier idea."

"Fine, come on, then. Let's hear your big idea, doofus," (y/n) sighed and crossed her arms, looking at him tiredly through her lashes. She could predict what was about to come out of his mouth; bold, outlandish, stupid, possibly dangerous, ridiculous. Definitely ridiculous. She loved him, but by god, she wanted to tie him up and gag his dumb mouth before he said or did something they'd all regret.

"Still got that trebuchet?" The hero didn't reply to her, rather, he turned to Schwoz and that mischievous smirk grew on his face. The mention of the medieval invention caused them both to sneak and chuckle with planned wickedness because for those who knew what a trebuchet was, AKA (y/n), that sounded worrying. 

The kids didn't want to know what those two used to get up to with that thing, how many times they'd nearly been caught by the cops for flinging watermelons where they didn't belong, and how it was only because the Man Cave was a hidden location that they'd managed to wait until the heat died down. It all came to a head when she had to put her foot down after an incident with a smashed window and a furious business owner, so from then on, the trebuchet was tucked away into storage, unused but still ready for another adventure. Yippee.

"No, don't you dare, Ray Manchester! You know how I feel about that damn trebuchet! We're not doing the trebuchet," the woman said firmly, pointing a very stern finger at her lover who didn't seem all that scared, not in the way the kids had previously seen him scared during one of their arguments. 

This was more like a mother admonishing her child into scaring them away from danger, but it was clear that the child was gonna do it anyway, curiosity killed the cat and all that. No, Ray didn't look phased at all and to her frustration, he merely stepped forward, looked deeply into her eyes and when she thought that the soft kiss they shared was his version of an apology, he went and ruined it. And it was such a gentle kiss too, almost perfect had it not been for him pulling away just when she was turning into goo.

"We're doin' the trebuchet...come on, sweet girl...don't look at me like that, sweetheart, " he nodded at Schwoz, making his sweet girl gasp in outrage because he tricked her, the sneaky little—he tricked her! He got her defences down and her argument thrown out by using her need for peppermint-bubblegum against her, which was highly unfair but very effective as it meant that she was dazed just long enough to tell his repairman that they were going storage-diving. Or trash-diving; most of the stuff in storage was absolute garbage.

"What's a trebuchet? Where are they going? Jasper, will you please stop playing with my fake arm?!" So many questions, so little time for poor Henry, whose mood had deflated when this mystery item had been introduced. He'd not done early history in school, otherwise, he might have heard of one, but despite his lack of knowledge, he still got the feeling that whatever a trebby thing was, it wasn't good. This was one of Ray's weird plans that wasn't gonna work, wasn't it?

"We'll handle it. You don't have to worry about anything," Ray tried to soothe his sidekick as he kept (y/n) tied to him with his fingers tight around her hand. He'd need her help to find the trebuchet since she was the one who'd locked it away and so, he was already working on a plan to sway her into doing so, possibly with a bribe, more likely with seduction. He was good at that and he was also good at pissing her off, which was starting to work too, judging by the raised eyebrows and sceptical looks she kept giving him. His plan for her better be good.

"That makes me worry about everything."

"Me too," Charlotte agreed with her friend. She didn't like how cocky her boss was being or how he was dragging (y/n) off for some unknown search and rescue mission or how a trebuchet could be involved. She had a vague idea of what one was since she was a well-read smarty and it gave her the chills. They were big, clunky and not very practical, given how they weren't particularly good when they were first used. What more could Ray want?

"All you gotta do is meet me, (y/n) and Schwoz at school tomorrow morning and we'll trebu-show you a fake accident that's way funnier than Charlotte's," the large man bragged, earning him an eye roll from not just Charlotte, but (y/n) too. Why did she have to be dragged away from her cosy home during the little free time she got? Oh, right, she had to play babysitter to her dumb lover who'd rather prove a point than spend the day watching movies or going shopping with her.

"Oh, yeah, showing up at a kid's school to wreak havoc, just what every normal couple does," she remarked and looked up at her doofus, who for a split second, seemed to be slight sheepish at her observation, almost like the thought of the alternative spending the day at home crossed his mind before the smirk returned. Any time spent with his fiancée was time well spent, so Ray wasn't that bothered, more like planning how tomorrow was gonna unfold.

"All right, whatever. I'm tired, I'm going home."

"Yeah, I'm out like Jasper's belly button."

"Way out," the kids announced, having had enough craziness for one day and by all accounts, they'd be needing their strength for tomorrow so a good night's sleep was in order. They'd leave Ray and Schwoz's to plan for their big plan, hopefully (y/n) wouldn't kill them and by the time that had all been sorted out, they'd thankfully be well clear of whatever the couple was gonna do before finally going to sleep. They wanted to avoid that like the Black Death, so a speedy exit was necessary.

"Henry!" Schwoz suddenly shouted as the kid waited for the elevator. He turned to see the genius looking frantic whilst Ray was oblivious since he was already making a move on (y/n), whispering in her ear and causing her cheeks to heat up. What did Schwoz need that meant he couldn't get out of their love nest? The sooner he left, the better; he still had some innocence left, y'know. 

"Don't let your parents see your cast when you get back home."

"I won't," the boy replied and hit the button with his fake, flailing arm. Did the guy think he was an idiot? His mom would freak if she saw what he'd done to his arm, let alone know what he'd been up to since she and his dad always watched the news.

"Because then, they'll know that you're Kid Danger!"

"Yeah, I realise that." His concern was nice, y'know, it was good that someone cared but it really wasn't necessary. Henry was a smart kid and he knew how to keep the secret from his family. Lord knows he'd had enough practice over the last few years.

"Then, we'd have to wipe their memories again."

"Yeah, I said I realised tha—wait, again?!" Honestly, Henry wanted to get home quick since things were getting too spicy for him in the Man Cave and he was willing to say anything to get Schwoz to shut up, but then, the last detail of his sentence caught his attention. Hang on, did that mean his family had discovered something before? Should he be worried about them? 

"I dunno..." Schwoz's lips were sealed on the promise of Ray beating him up should he squeal any details. What was in the past should stay in the past and that was one story that Henry could never be told, even if it was about his parents, sister and whoever else. So, to take his mind off of it before he was in a sticky situation, Ray stepped in with a little something he'd pulled from a drawer, hoping to make everyone, especially his sweet girl laugh. He loved her laugh.

"Hey, Jasper! Catch!" He yelled to the odd boy and tossed a toilet roll across the room, into the elevator and the boy's hands. What was he—? Oh, god, no more teasing, the poor kid didn't understand the joke until he walked right into it.

"What's this for?"

"In case you pass a playground on your way home," Ray grinned, his banter drawing several chuckles from around the room and to his joy, he felt his darling girl press her face into his pec to save Jasper's blushes. 

She hated laughing at people, even if it was only teasing but it was quite amusing to see Jasper's ears turn pink. She knew it wasn't him but winding him up was so fun and her doofus did it so well, always keeping it light and jovial, never malicious, so despite her frustration, her arms wound their way around his waist and she gazed at him with happiness in her eyes. He was a doofus but he was her doofus.

"I'm not the Playground Pooper!" Jasper shouted in his defence, which didn't help much since agitation is a sign of being guilty, so Ray wasn't convinced, especially when Jasper failed to give the roll back. "But I am keeping this 'cause I think we're out at home!" 

The three were left giggling and joking as the elevator door closed on the couple metres of tissue, which son disappeared when it was pulled upwards. He was never gonna live this down, Ray would never let him go, or he would, but only if something funnier came along. Maybe he'd appeal directly to (y/n) and get her to have a word with him because it was common knowledge that if you wanted to talk with the boss, you went to her - the true heart of the Man Cave.

~The next day, Swellview High School~

Things were buzzing in the corridors of Swellview High as kids rushed to get to classes they were late for or to their group of friends to swap the latest gossip. Of course, there were the usual topics; who was dating who, which teacher was on the verge of being sacked, had Captain Man really been caught making out with Miss Danger in an alley behind the Nacho Ball on Fifth Street, some were more exaggerated than others but the thing on everyone's lips was obvious, more popular than anything else. Kid Danger.

No one knew when the mystery boy was going to turn up, so everyone was on the lookout for a kid who fit the bill, which wasn't too hard. Some had even placed bets on who they thought it could be, some pretended that they didn't even care when they were more desperate than anyone else and others were just hoping to get lucky. Every girl wanted to date Kid Danger, so they all thought they'd know him when they saw him, not discounting Piper Hart. 

She didn't even go to that school, being too young, and yet there she was, bright and early, skiving from her real lessons for a glimpse at the sidekick and his telltale broken arm. Piper had a system; vet every boy who came in, check for any suspicious injuries and ask him to be her boyfriend until the end of time. Because that wouldn't be creepy at all.

"We are so getting put on some kind of list. Y'know, the kind for weirdos who sneak into schools." 

Not as creepy as what was being set up in the hall, though. It was another topic of conversation amongst the students; what the hell was that monstrosity in front of the doors and why were three freaks messing with it? No guesses for who the three freaks were. 

Ray and Schwoz were perfectly calm as they adjusted the twine on the trebuchet, making sure everything was gonna be ready for their big performance. It had taken some sneakiness to get it into the school and no short amount of lying for any suspicious teachers who wanted to know why two medieval squires and one noble lady were shoving bits of old wood and ropes into their school. 

(y/n) felt uneasy, like her tummy was telling her something again, but no matter how much she scolded her doofus about his dumbness or reasoned that it wasn't on late to go home yet, he patted her on the head and spoke to her in a stupidly formal accent.

"Worry not, fair maiden. Watcheth thy lover as his trebuchet makes the melon-eth fly through the air...eth," Ray replied, giving her a gentle side smile as he placed a heavy yet small melon onto a wooden panel, ready to be flung. He was trying his best to fit the part, ensuring that his voice matched his ridiculous dress-up of baggy blue breeches, tunic embroidered with silver studs, knee-high brown leather boots and soufflé-like hat, complete with a yellow feather. 

Schwoz didn't look much better; his outfit looked like some cavalier reject, straight from the English Civil War what with his natty wig and red velvet ensemble, and now that she thought about it, (y/n) didn't fancy her outfit much either. 

She kept tripping up on her skirts, had spent way too long on her hair, and was almost certain that she'd done up the corset wrong since Ray had been trying to trail kisses down her neck when he came up from behind after seeing her struggle for so long. It was a wonder she'd even managed to get dressed after finding him still insatiable that morning but after beating him off with a metaphorical stick, she'd pulled on her gloves, fallen over her own feet a million times and found herself in Henry's school, smiling at the children like a regal queen. If only. 

They all looked odd and the woman hadn't felt this vulnerable to school bullies since she'd had her braces put on in middle school but for now, they were staying away, possibly because of the hulking giant of a man who kept pecking her cheek. The same giant who failed to realise that speaking like a twelfth-century noble did not mean adding fancy inflexions after every word or using archaic words. 

Any minute now, someone would recognise them as the wacko couple who ran that junk store down the road or even worse, Piper would pay attention and realise that her friend was a weirdo getting married to another weirdo.

"I'll make you fly through the air, Ray. I'll kick your butt!" She snapped, prodding him in the pec as Henry and Charlotte approached with disgusted looks on their faces. It was impossible to miss the trebuchet and the not-so-subtle flirting, particularly when Ray looked up from his mischief to stop her worrying little head yet again. This was a school, he had to keep his hands to himself, but that didn't mean he couldn't fawn over her.

"Babe, this plan is perfect...and funny! Stop worrying about it and just stand there looking all pretty. Like you usually do," the hero smirked, squishing her flaming cheeks as she tried to be stern only for him to flirt his way past her defences. She was trying to be mad at him and failing miserably because whilst the dress wasn't her style, he loved her in it—well, he loved her in anything.

"Flattery will get you nowhere!"

"It got me somewhere last night. Remember?" Ray was lightning fast with his remark, watching as her jaw hit the ground because he was exactly right, not that she wanted to show him that. 

It was obvious, however, and the man saw straight through the way she tried to stop her eyes from widening and her lip from quivering, only to fail miserably. He made an excellent point; not ten hours earlier, he broke past her grumpy façade when they were digging through old weapons and gadgets and used his charm to leave Schwoz to find the trebuchet and drag her to a more private setting. 

"You—you—that's the last time we...y'know! I swear! No more for you! Ever!" The woman spluttered waggling her finger under his nose as she flustered from his observation. It was an empty threat, a lose-lose situation that neither of them ever wanted, so the hero didn't falter, rather, his smirk deepened.

"Sure it is, sweet girl. Just wait until tonight when you're begging me—"

"Oh my god, what are they talking about?"

"And what are they doing?" The banter was interrupted by the familiar voices of two disgruntled teens as they approached the medieval display and instantly, the couple clammed up on discussing their nightly activities. This was a school, after all, and those were their wards. They sounded confused and disgusted, which caused (y/n) to yet again squirm in embarrassment since she had no idea how close they were, but in all seriousness, she had to agree that the costumes and act were nothing short of humiliating.

"Tis ready!"

"Forsooth!"

"Fire thy trebuchet, dearheart, and Godspeed!—or something to that effect..." the "actors" proclaimed for all to hear and as Ray took up his fair lady's hand and planted a respectful kiss on her knuckles, the trebuchet fired the watermelon, flinging it across the hall until it splattered against a poster a few metres away. It was quite impressive, judging by the awed reactions of the round of applause from the teenage crowd, who now knew what a trebuchet was. A catapult thing, not what you'd normally expect a thirty-seven-year-old man to keep in his home but whatever.

"Oh, good morrow, fair youth!" Ray exclaimed as he noticed Henry standing near his brilliant device and without breaking his persona, approached him in a bouncy if ridiculous manner that probably would've ended up in him losing his head had he done it in a real ancient court. 

He needed to see his reaction because his plan was amazing and there was no doubt that the kid was speechless from his performance. Of course, he didn't want to make it known that he was Henry's boss, that dude from Junk-N-Stuff, but still, he couldn't help but wrap an arm around his shoulders and pull him to the side as (y/n) and Schwoz soaked up the praise.

"Good morrow to yo—I can't do this, dude. What's going on?" Henry asked in exasperation, not even bothering to copy his boss's fancy words because he wasn't some dick from the Middle Ages, he was a kid from the modern era. All he wanted to know was why he was on the verge of being heavily embarrassed.

"Okay, here's the plan," the man hissed, drawing a few glances from (y/n) and Charlotte as the girl teased her friend over her beautiful yet impractical getup. 

"You go stand by the stairs. We fling a basketball at you. It hits you in your fake arm and you pretend like it's broken! It'll be a lot funnier than Charlotte's idea!"

"Okay, but what if the basketball doesn't hit me—"

"And break!" Henry didn't have time to share any concerns or bring up any issues that might have been tied to the plan because Ray didn't want to hear it, so he pushed the kid back into the crowd. He couldn't complain in front of his peers, he couldn't even acknowledge that he knew these weirdos, so he walked over to his spot and prepared himself for the basketball. 

"We are members of the Swellview Flinging Society!"

"Forsooth!" Ray introduced himself and his band of merry men—woman—weirdo and woman—whatever. They even did a strange dance pose, arms curled in the air as their toes pointed and (y/n) could already hear sniggers of "losers" coming from the crowd. She'd left school a long time ago, being back and bullied in her thirties wasn't how she'd pictured her life going.

"We doth fling many things with our trebuchet!"

"Tis the truth, my young friends. Now, behold with thine eyes that hath seen fewer winters than mine and see for yourself, the art of an age gone by!" But, she humoured her doofus nonetheless and played into her part, flourishing and smiling at the crowd as if she was some queen from a long forgotten time, using words she'd only ever read in Shakespeare, in an outfit that should've been in a museum. 

Ray and Schwoz moved to set up the trebuchet, cranking back the arm into flinging position, which left hosting duties to her, and as they did, Jasper barrelled past them, heading for Henry and Charlotte. What was he in a hurry for?

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! You guys, check it out!"

"Hey, Pooper."

"What's poopening?" His friends greeted him, causing his mouth to set into a straight, firm line. That joke wasn't funny yesterday and nothing had changed overnight, except that he now had material to back himself up against these heinous lies. The only way he could get everyone to see that he didn't use playgrounds as toilets was if he proved that he couldn't have done the deed or have even been there. Proof was irrefutable.

"I know who the Playground Pooper is."

"So do we."

"Yeah, it's you," Charlotte and Henry couldn't help but mock him a little, ensuring that their faces showed no hint of humour or that they were joking. He was used to it and at the end of the day, the teasing was harmless and all in good fun.

"No, it's not! I go in toilets, I've been potty trained for four years!" Jasper told them sternly, trying to stress that he was a big boy, a seventeen-year-old very capable of going in appropriate places. But then, when Charlotte thought about his words, something didn't add up. Seventeen minus four...oh, god.

"Wait..." It didn't bear thinking about for Charlotte. She'd known Jasper since...forever, did that mean he'd...when she was with him? 

"Just look at this..." the boy didn't dwell on that disturbing fact for long and instead, directed his friends' attention to the PearPad he took from his backpack, on which he'd pulled up a video that had been uploaded to SplashFace. Something about someone being spotted somewhere in Swellview Park. What significance did that have? 

"This is the Playground Pooper walking through some carnations and I'm allergic to carnations, so it can't be me!"

"Those look like roses."

"What?!" Charlotte shot down his hopes in one fell swoop. She was no flower expert but she knew what a carnation was and even though the video quality wasn't good, she could see that the petals weren't crinkled in the right way. And Jasper couldn't believe it, he could swear that those buds were the ones that brought him out in sneezes and a rash, but according to Henry, those were something different entirely.

"Yeah, those are North American Sugar roses, bro. I know my flowers," Henry told him, divulging a surprising fact about himself since, in most teenage boy circles, flowers weren't the "in thing". Who wants to spend a few weeks looking at different blooms surrounded by pretty, soft girls? Oh, right, that's why he went.

"He does, he went to flower camp."

"Yeah, dude, it was sick."

"No!" Jasper stormed off in a mood, having had enough of talk about flowers, namely because he'd been disproven. That had been his big plan, that the plants would provide him with an alibi but he hadn't counted on Henry being such an expert. Now he had to come up with something else, but he was flat out of ideas and back to square one. His friends were so nice.

"Hear ye, hear ye! The flinging is about to commenceth!" Ray suddenly announced, drawing everyone's focus back to the trebuchet now that it had been reset into its original position. Show time; his big plan was ready if only those involved could assume their given positions.

"Everyone should stand where they're supposed to stand..."

"Gotta go..." Henry took that as his unsubtle hint to go and stand where the melon had splattered across the floor and wall. Charlotte had a bad feeling about this and if she had one, then (y/n) had one, but all they could do was shared a worried shrug since there was no stopping this farce now.

"My dear younglings, be-ith most careful, for when yon basketball be shot, it traveleth so fast, that it mayeth break someone's arm. I would hate to see such sorrow before the midday sun," (y/n) added, wanting to make sure that no one but Henry stood near the trebuchet because that would mean an instant phone call to the police, them having to explain themselves to an officer and their problem still very much prominent. 

And it was about to get even bigger because as the children broke out into applause again, a wandering green booger walked her way into the corridor, eyeing the performers with suspicion written on her face.

"Hold it right there, fancy pants!" Sharona Shapen snapped above the noise and the room fell into a silence, including one kid with some particularly snazzy trousers on. Poor guy, he was just trying to get to class in his best outfit, it was only a coincidence that other people had come into the building rivalling his fabulousness. He needed to be sent on his way.

"Not you, L'Orange! What the heck is going on here?" The teacher demanded to know and even if she was weird and even if her dress sense was hideous and even if she'd been known to love on Captain Man, she had a right to ask that. They'd turned up to the school with no warning or permission, which was concerning now that they thought about it and (y/n) just prayed that she didn't see through their disguises.

"We be the Swellview Flinging Society!"

"We are flingers!"

"We fling, patron of the arts!" The three lied, doing their little fancy greeting before (y/n) slipped her hand into Ray's. It might have ruined the image a bit but she needed something to ground her right now, otherwise, she was in danger of fainting from the stress. Sharona was looking at them with an evil stare and she did not look happy. Maybe she and Ray could swap love letters when they were each carted off to separate prisons.

"Well, go do your flinging somewhere else! These kids should be in classrooms pretending to listen to their teachers!" She hissed, making an excellent point to the startled trio, who was shuffling on their feet to think of a way to buy her silence. 

Once upon a time, a year or two ago, Ray had kissed her as a distraction, but that was out of the question now. One kiss had nearly killed him since he'd swore to never kiss any lips other than those that tasted like honey and (y/n) had only agreed because that had been an emergency. No, that wasn't gonna work on Sharona this time, so Ray offered the one thing he could.

"Look, you wanna fling a basketball at a wall?" It was carnal, brutish, and entirely uncivilised but that was the weird teacher all over and part of the fun. It was the best offer she'd had in months, especially from someone so handsome.

"'Course I do, get outta my way," she quickly agreed, the temptation too much regardless of her earlier concerns about safety and the students' education. When it came down to it, Miss Shapen was entirely selfish and eager to see the trebuchet in action, although first, Schwoz needed to show her what to do so she hit Henry as per the plan.

"Allow me to explaineth—"

"Relax, Leonardo. I've used a trebuchet in a school before," she spoke over him, however, meaning Schwoz wasn't able to get in there and aim the catapult in the direction they need it to be. Glossing over the oddness of her being so reckless in another situation, (y/n) looked at her lover with wide eyes and realised that things were about to go wrong and all because one woman couldn't listen.

"Favoured artisan, bearer of knowledge, orchestrator of tomorrow's wisdom...put the forsaken trebuchet down and leteth my companions aim—"

"Fire in the hall!" Any of the heroine's pleas were useless; Sharona released the catch before anyone could turn the arm, so the basketball was fired at maximum power and in completely the wrong direction. Straight into Charlotte's head. Ouch. 

The poor girl squealed and fell to the floor, not gravely injured, thank God, but she still had the mother of all heads and undoubtedly, she'd wake up with a lump tomorrow. The crowd gasped at the horrific collision and no one was more horrified than her nearest and dearest, who looked at the teacher with wide eyes for what she had done.

"I was never here!" Miss Shapen shouted to her students, even though it was pretty useless since she stuck out like a green thumb and every one of them would be happy to rat her out if it meant less homework. And, as much as they wanted to strangle her for what she'd done without letting them help first, Ray, Schwoz and (y/n) had to let the teacher scurry off as Henry helped Charlotte up because it wasn't their place as visiting actors to scold a teacher for the injury caused to a girl they weren't supposed to know.

"Are you okay?" Henry asked breathlessly as he leaned over Charlotte, hoping that she didn't have a concussion, but clearly, things were so hot for Charlotte, who couldn't see for the flashing lights in her eyes and the spinning room. She could see five Henrys in her head and because of her confusion, she didn't register the mistake she made in grabbing his fake arm, believing that it was real and stretched out to help her up. 

"No, no, no, no!" Too late. Henry couldn't do anything as his friend tumbled back to the ground, his false arm in her hand as Charlotte pulled it from his sleeve, much to the shock of his friends and fellow students. If that didn't look suspicious, then nothing did because, now, there was a kid in the hall who'd either just suffered and gruesome yet impossible injury or he had something to hide.

"Oh, shit..." (y/n) breathed out as Henry's world came crashing down and now, she needed Ray's entire arm to ground herself as they watched helplessly with stony faces. The hero's heart was in his mouth as he watched his youngest sidekick flounder, knowing that the worst scenario possible was now happening and he was helpless to intervene as the kid did the only thing he could think of.

"Ahhhh! Charlotte just pulled off my real arm! Next time you see me, I'll probably have a cast," he attempted to make the best of the situation, throwing in some lame excuse that his arm had magically dropped off with no blood spillages and that he'd be okay. Yeah, there was nothing weird at all about just sticking a cast on an amputated arm, that was how science worked. However, when one kid, known for being highly snotty and annoying, picked up his rubber limb from the floor, it was all over, no more playing around.

"This arm is fake! This is a fake arm!" He told the crowd, who immediately began whispering and chuntering amongst themselves about what that could mean for the boy who was nice to all, fairly popular, rather good-looking but sometimes mysteriously absent from his classes. Piper, who'd seen everything from her place scanning boys at the door, walked over to her brother, intent on finding the truth, even if he looked terrified at that moment.

"Why were you wearing a fake arm?" She demanded to know but when Henry tried to string together an excuse, she didn't let him finish. It was too late for excuses, Henry was way out of his depth. "What are you hiding?"

"Piper, I'm not doing anyth—"

"Take this off! What is wrong with you?!—" his sister exclaimed, not knowing that the big deal was about the ugly sweater that her brother had refused to take off since last night. Fighting his squirming body, she grasped the hood and tugged it over his head and Henry was powerless to stop her with merely one hand and so, the horse-themed garment was removed, revealing his blue cast underneath. And how telling it was to the boys and girls watching.

"You've got a broken arm!" Piper exclaimed with horror and shock written all over her face as she took in the sight in front of her.

There stood a boy about Kid Danger's height, about Kid Danger's age with a broken arm and before her eyes, everything fell into place, not that she could make sense of anything. There was only one explanation and Henry didn't know what to do. He couldn't look at Ray or (y/n), he didn't want to see their angry or disappointed faces, he couldn't look at Schwoz, Jasper or Charlotte either since he didn't want to implicate them. This was officially a disaster. So much for Ray's big plan.

"Oh my god, Henry Hart is Kid Danger!" The annoying kid realised, sending everyone into a shocked, noisy kerfuffle as everyone turned to their friends to gossip. 

Ray and (y/n) could try to discourage as much as they wanted, telling the kids that they knew very little about being superheroes but that didn't sound very likely, yet nothing could convince them otherwise. 

Girls were already planning their dates, boys were already planning to be his best friend and others were in awe of the scrawny, average kid who'd never been particularly good at anything, just another face around school. Who'd have thought that he was a superhero's sidekick? Not Piper, that's for sure.

"So much better than my plan," Charlotte said to Ray with a glare that could kill as she nursed her sore head and on a rare occasion in his life, Ray looked remorseful, guilty even. He had to admit that something else may have been easier and that perhaps in this situation, getting the issue over and done with would've been easier, nothing funny about it. 

"We need a way to fix this, now. You know what kids are like! One text or TwitFlash update and we are finished, Ray. No more Captain Man, no more Miss Danger, no more anything!" (y/n) stressed to her fiancé, who didn't need telling to know that they had to do something and fast. 

"Calm down, sweet girl. We'll think of something, I promise. Nothing's—gonna—happen," he reassured her, pressing firm kisses to her forehead with each word to try and make her feel better but as her fingers curled against his chest, she could feel his heartbeat jumping through the velvet blue. 

Maybe he was trying to convince himself as well as her that everything would be okay, but it wasn't helping given the fact that they could hear Piper stressing behind them. She sounded distraught at the deceit and that just made her want to cry into his shoulder even more, more so when the annoying kid started poking the bear again.

"Why were hiding your broken arm? We have a right to know!" He stated, prodding Henry with the squashy fingers of the rubber arm, tapping the cast in a way that made the blond-haired boy want to claw his eyes out, though he settled for just slapping the thing away. Getting irate wouldn't help anything, rather, it was a sign of a guilty conscience.

"Listen, everybody, listen! Stop poking me! I'm not—I'm not Kid Danger, okay? Okay, stop poking me! Stop poking me, Melvin!" He shouted above the noise, attempting to control the crowd and stop their whispering and gossiping, but the stress, the worry and the annoyance of constantly being prodded soon became too much for him. 

As his last nerve broke, Henry grabbed the fake arm and harshly used it to slap the annoying kid, also known as Melvin, across the face, feeling satisfied as the rubber belted his skin and left it red. It was a bit cruel but he deserved it, even if the crowd did gasp in surprise. He was so irritating, there was no surprise that he broke the kid's patience.

"Okay, I have the arm! I get to speak now!" Henry declared as he held the arm in his free hand, which was a gauntlet for who was allowed to talk and one kid took it quite seriously. "Thank you. Now, as I was saying, I'm not Kid Danger—"

"Prove it!" Melvin yelled, having gotten over his assault to be as annoying as ever. It was reasonable though, if Henry wanted to save his skin, then he was gonna have to give them a damn good excuse, no matter what it cost him.

"I will prove it, Melvin! As soon as I...think of something," he argued, trying to seem cool and composed when he had no idea what they were gonna do or how they were gonna get out of this one. 

He looked at Ray and (y/n) since they were the adults in this situation, they were meant to be in control and responsible, not to mention that the latter was smart. However, they looked just as clueless as he did, pale and nervous too, so it took someone unforeseeable to swoop in and save his bacon, someone who never normally saved the day.

"Come with me to the janitor's closet!" Jasper murmured in his ear as he snuck past, which didn't sound perturbing at all for Henry, who didn't fancy a secret rendezvous with his best friend in the dark but he was already gone and pushing through the line of people who were staring at the two. It didn't look like he had much choice.

"I will be back with answers...until then...Melvin has the arm," he announced and tossed the limb at the boy, who could now run his mouth off to his heart's content since he wouldn't be around to get annoyed. He seemed quite content to be in charge, but the sight of Henry scuttling off into the closet was rather peculiar for Charlotte, (y/n), Ray and Schwoz.

"What do you think they're up to?" The woman whispered to her doofus as they observed Charlotte scrambling after those idiots just as quickly as they had. Ray peered around the corner with squinted eyes, looking through the chattering students to see where they went and he decided that whatever was going down, they were gonna be a part of it.

"I don't know, darlin', but we're gonna find out," he replied, squeezing her hand once before pulling her across the hall, assuming that Schwoz was following behind them. He was Captain Man, this was his life, his work, his legacy and he wasn't going to watch it go down in flames; he wanted to know what they were planning, mainly because this was his fault, not that he'd ever admit that.

Storming across the room, Ray dodged the many children in his way and ignored the strange looks they got as they headed for the janitor's closet. No one questioned why the performers were wanting to speak with the newly discovered Kid Danger, so they were free to rip open the door, tumble in as a whirlwind of sparkly, studded velvet and wine red skirts, and see the three of them stood there. 

Henry and Charlotte had crowded around Jasper's PearPad again, watching some video on some website that (y/n) remembered from her youth. What party had they just crashed?

"You got a big problem on your hands," was the first thing Ray said as he pulled his lover in front of him so she was in on the conversation and then shut the door behind him for a little privacy. 

That statement earned him a few glares because whilst it was technically true, Henry did have a big problem, it was more accurate that they all had a big problem. After all, it affected every one of them, did he not realise that he could be found out too if someone connected the dots? Henry Hart's boss from Junk-N-Stuff was Captain Man? The similarities were obvious when you thought about them.

"No, Raymond, we have a big problem. We."

"I know that, thank you," Henry, although thankful for her correction, stated dryly after (y/n). He didn't mean to sound rude but he was under enough pressure as it was, an argument wasn't needed, just a solution.

"Guys, listen!" Jasper suddenly snapped, having been trying for the past couple of minutes to get his friends to listen to his idea but no one was taking him seriously. This was a real, decent plan that wasn't short of delicious humiliation but would be highly effective if only he could say it without any more interruptions.

"What if Henry was the Playground Pooper?" Oh, yeah, he was going there.

"That's impossible. It's you," Ray countered, not letting his joke/belief that his weirdest employee was behind the dumpings. He sounded genuinely conflicted, much to Jasper's annoyance because he was trying to do something here and all he was getting was a finger pointed at him as the culprit.

"No, it's not!" He yelped, raising his volume in an attempt to get through to them, which predictably didn't work. But, they never got the chance to break out into a full debate because incredibly, miraculously, impossibly, Schwoz suddenly jumped out from the blue trash can stored in the closet, which was an unfeasible action because there was no way he could've climbed in without them seeing, so his appearance gave them all quite a scare.

"Schwoz Schwartz, you maniac! How did you get in there?!" (y/n) asked indignantly as she clutched her chest like the teens and felt Ray go loose again after he tensed up at possible danger. His arms had circled her from a protective instinct and she'd leaned back after the fright, meaning they were closely snuggled more than they had already been, thanks to Schwoz, not that they'd ever credit for giving them a reason to be pressed against each other.

"Wasn't easy," the genius bragged, looking smug at how he'd managed to spook them all, although he did fear the way Ray was glaring at him, probably because he made his fiancée with a nervous disposition jump. And yet he had a good reason for doing so. 

"I have an idea that will solve all of Henry's problems." Well, that sounded ideal.

"So do I!" 

"Clog it, Pooper! What you got, Schwoz?" And no matter how much he argued, Ray would take one of Schwoz's crazy yet awesome plans any day over Jasper's pathetic nonsense, so he had to button his lip, despite his need to share his thoughts becoming almost unbearable. Couldn't they listen to him just once? His plan was great...

"We set off a memory wave and everyone with a three-block radius has no memory of any of it...or anything else in their lives!" He suggested, describing a plan that was insane and cruel but when they thought about it, Henry and Charlotte could see the advantages. There would be a lot of eyebrows raised from how a school of trained teachers and bright students went from functioning normally to being full of brain-dead zombies. But at the end of the day, it would solve the problem, even if it wasn't very ethical.

"I mean...maybe."

"It is simple."

"Guys!"

"Yeah, but what's funny about it? Like when am I going haha?" (y/n) was understandably upset with the suggestion, being of an affectionate nature, but Ray saw something else. Despite everything, he was still trying to find the funny side of everything, looking for humour in the plan when all it needed was to be effective. That earned him a glare from his sweet girl and yet Jasper saw an opportunity because whilst his wasn't as tech-heavy as that, it would draw a few laughs.

"Ray, I love you with everything I have but do shut up!"

"Guys! I have a solution and it's really funny!" The boy exclaimed over the debate and for once, his friends fell silent and listened. He said it was funny, so Ray would be satisfied. He said it was a solution, so Henry's problems would be solved. Interesting. If it was so great, he'd just have to prove it. Time for Jasper to put his money where his mouth was.

~

Jasper's plan was in motion. As promised, and with a little encouragement from his fiancée, Ray had worked with Schwoz to move the trebuchet out of the school to give the crowd enough space to gather (because no one cared about any actual learning) and they were patiently waiting against the wall. 

They had an observatory role with Charlotte, where they got to sit back, relax and laugh at what was about to unfold and whilst the hero was a little salty considering that he didn't have a starring role, the promise of kissing and flirting with his sweet girl in the mean time sealed the deal. 

Now, Jasper was taking centre stage with his best mate, Henry, both of them standing before the audience of their fellow students and Piper, all of whom were waiting with bated breath and crossed arms to hear their great explanation. It would take some doing; convincing them otherwise and getting them to back off from Henry's private life but Jasper would do it, by god he would do it because he was buzzing about what his friend was about to confess to.

"Okay! There's been a lot of speculation today that Henry is Kid Danger!" He shouted, addressing the crowd, who didn't agree with mere "speculation". Screw speculation, they had proof that he was genuinely the sidekick, an opinion they weren't quiet about.

"He is!"

"He's not! But he does have something he wants to announce," the boy swiftly shot down any objections, affirming that Henry was not who he was because if he kept saying it, they'd start to believe it, especially when the deliciously humiliating excuse was added.

"I don't know if I can—"

"Henry Hart, everyone!" There was no time for Henry to back out now, no matter how fast his heart was beating at the thought of the social suicide he was about to commit as a few awkward claps sounded. This would ruin him, everyone would laugh behind his back, his sister would never acknowledge him again, hell, his parents might even disown him because this was gonna bring nothing but shame, shame, shame. 

However, for the sake of his job, the safety of his friends, his boss, the woman who was like a sister to him, and the safety of the entire city, he was gonna do it. He was going to swallow every shred of his pride and confess a lie to save everything.

"Thank you!" Henry smiled politely at those who bothered to clap for him, only to be taken by surprise when some kid dragged over Piper's podium from when she was checking boys for broken arms, and it could only get worse from there. 

"Oh, right, my sister's podium, glad that's here. And a microphone! Thank you, L'Orange! And a sign language interpreter, great."

"Okay, uh, I know there's a lot of speculation that due to my broken arm, I am Kid Danger," Henry started, settling into his speaking role and forcing his voice to remain as steady as possible, despite how nervous he was feeling. And for some, even the mention of that fact, the mere possibility that he could be a superhero's sidekick, beloved by all teen girls in the city looking for love, was just too unsettling. Piper. Piper was unsettled, judging by the long, loud, involuntary scream she let out before shutting her mouth again.

"But the fact of the matter is I'm not Kid Danger because..." Henry, with the sign language boy behind him following his every word, struggled to say the lie. He couldn't do it, could he? This was the most humiliating thing he'd ever done and even when Jasper put a comforting hand on his shoulder, he couldn't help but start to stutter.

"I am...well...I am the Playground Pooper."

There. He said it. It was out there and resulting in shocked gasps and tittering giggles across the hall, most of them coming from behind him where Ray and Schwoz's shoulders were shaking with (y/n) and Charlotte also biting back smiles. 

To be fair, it was a horrible thing to confess to in front of all of his schoolmates and at such a young age, the kind of incident that only happened in a nightmare but it was also the kind of thing that could be funny if it wasn't happening to you. His friends weren't affected, so they didn't feel the stigma or have flaming cheeks as he did, just the humour of the situation as people realised the implications of such a confession.

"So, you're Kid Danger and the Playground Pooper?" Melvin asked, not understanding what Henry was saying since technically, he hadn't proven that being a pooper in playgrounds meant he couldn't be a sidekick; he'd just said something highly embarrassing.

"What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no....no. I'm just...the Playground Pooper." Kill him, unalive him now, and end his misery because explaining himself was torture. 

"Okay, this is funny," Ray whispered in his sweet girl's ear, loud enough for Jasper and Charlotte to hear too and agree, but quiet enough to not raise suspicion. And despite her morals and kindness, (y/n) was inclined to agree with him because whilst she wasn't one for bullying, this was hilarious, seeing how Henry admitted to something so gross. 

It wasn't like it would scar him, he wasn't the Playground Pooper, so there were no worries, which meant she could lean back into her doofus and let his chin rest on her shoulder—perhaps allow him a few neck kisses, even if he had been an idiot with the trebuchet.

"Prove it! Prove it! Prove it! Prove it! Prove it!" The students (and Ray and Schwoz) chanted, pressuring Henry to show some substantial evidence that would back up his claims because they weren't gonna laugh until they knew it was true. Right now, he was still Kid Danger, so Henry had no choice but to turn to Jasper for the final excruciating stab to his reputation.

"As you can see," Henry started, gesturing to the PearPad being held high by Jasper that showed the SplashFace video of the latest poop attack," in this security camera footage of me...doin' what I love... It's time-stamped, which proves that the exact same time that Kid Danger—whoever he is—was getting his arm broken by Doctor Karaté...I was on the playground."

"Poopin'?" Melvin guessed because he couldn't believe this tall tale. He'd always seen Henry Hart as a sound guy, a little absent from classes, a little more popular with the ladies than he was but still kinda awkward, but not the sort who went around crapping like a cat. It didn't seem right but then again, it took some balls to confess to something like this and he'd only do that if he wasn't Kid Danger, so...

"Yes, Melvin. Thank you. I was poopin'," Henry clarified and it was enough for everyone to break out into grossed-out chuckles, murmuring about how irresponsible, disgusting, inconsiderate and weird he was for getting his kicks out of leaving little presents wherever he went. 

And whilst Henry could feel his school life nosediving, Ray and Schwoz were having the time of their lives, mocking the kid by laughing and doing the sign language for pooping, the works, much to (y/n)'s failed attempts to control them. She was laughing too much to be taken seriously, so her fists beating against her lover's chest were actually very gentle and in the end, she just gave up.

"So, obviously, I, uh, I'm not Kid Danger, okay? Please respect my privacy as I seek help during this difficult time. Thank you," and like a true professional, Henry signed off his little announcement quickly, hoping that he could crawl away to die in some dark hole where nobody could find him, but then, a call came from the student body. And it could only be one person.

"Wait! How did you break your arm then?" Melvin, of course, had to ask and suddenly, Henry had to think on the spot. He hadn't planned an answer for that, he'd just assumed that people would be too busy laughing their asses off to question him anymore, so now he was fighting to stay calm again. Something believable, something realistic, something to get them to back off.

"Yes. How did I break my arm?" Think, Hart, think! Oh, god, bad idea incoming, but it would have to do. "After I...did my thang...I slipped."

"On poop?"

"Yes, Melvin. On poop." Someone kill this kid. Someone unalive him before Henry did because he was just so damn annoying and that wasn't just Henry the entire school thought that. But, as embarrassing as that was to admit as well, the kids took it and started cringing again, but this time, there was mocking as well. It had to happen at some point, but that didn't dull the humiliation anymore, Henry was still dying on the inside.

"Henry's the Playground Pooper and he slipped on his own poop and broke his arm!" Melvin laughed as he pointed at the blond boy, who felt his annoyance spike again because even though he expected to be ridiculed, he wasn't gonna take it from that guy. Yeah, he was now the school weirdo, but he was gonna keep Melvin down at the bottom with him, no matter what. Weirdos together, right?

"No one likes you, Melvin! No one likes you!"

"No further questions," Jasper yanked him away and left the crowd to their amused chattering before Henry damaged his reputation anymore. he turned to face his friends where Ray and Schwoz were still finding the situation hilarious, although Charlotte and (y/n) were behaving much better. Sort of.

"Well, that was humiliating."

"Eh, people will have forgotten about it in a week. Whenever the next kid trips in the canteen with their lunch or when a jock hoists a nerd onto the basketball hoop by their underwear. People will forget, Hen," (y/n) comforted him, although right now, it didn't sink in much. Henry looked over his shoulder to see what felt like hundreds of pairs of eyes on him, boys sniggering, the girls he fancied whispering about him and not in a good way. This was it. His life was officially over but Captain Man and his job were safe. He just wished he could feel a bit better about that.

"I know, I know. High school doesn't last forever, right?" He offered the old saying; he'd survive this because every kid leaves school and with that, they leave their problems behind too.

"Of course. High school doesn't mean shit. When you're out in the real world, no one will care about anything that is said or done within these walls, not even if you were the prettiest cheerleader or the best guy on the football field. Popularity is a myth, don't obsess over it," she told him, knowing that he wouldn't know what she meant until his teen-hood was long behind him and having the clown behind her wasn't helping. 

They were still making fun, laughing about doodies and logs because both of them were five-year-olds and incapable of seeing how it was getting Henry down. Sure, kids would remember this and possibly tell it to their kids to make them laugh, but his life wasn't ruined, far from it.

"Yeah, but... In the Man Cave..."

"What about the Man Cave?" She didn't know how that was relevant because it was safe, right? They'd done what it had taken to keep it safe so she could work out why he was stressing about it. They worked and lived in a happy environment with nothing to worry about, so what had him looking so gaunt and pale as if he'd seen a ghost? What was making those eyes all puppy-dog? What had Henry Hart so concerned about?

"I'm never gonna live this down, am I?" He asked and for that, she had no advice. Knowing her soon-to-be husband and favourite handyman, it would definitely take a while for this joke to dissipate, unless Jasper did something cosmically hilarious in the next five seconds. 

She looked at him with sympathy because she knew it, he knew it. The boys, the girls, everyone wasn't going to let this one go for a while and Henry would just have to tolerate it, another thing to add to the pile of things he tolerated; excessive kissing, wandering hands, endless flirting, mutant experiments in the fridge, never-ending danger and a marriage that kept being talked about even though nothing seemed to be happening. 

"No. No, you're not. In fact, it will probably be still fresh and just as funny at the wedding. Hey, you could put it in your best man's speech!"

"I could put it in my what?!"

[baekhvuns]

Stop that Manchester tweet lmao. Yeah unfortunately football isn't always fair, so the better team doesn't always win. However Arsenal got 60 points right now 🥰 Liverpool is redeeming itself, but Chelsea??? London is blue whereeee

What the fuck the Prison League is extending. Omfg no I didn't hear about the Gr**nw**d thing. So now people are calling the girl a liar and while it's possible, abused people often go back to their partners and tbh I doubt he'd be with her if she falsely accused him... idk this is fucked

I met that one girl back in 2019, I thought she was alright, but turns out she's a weirdo and is travelling everywhere Atz goes

Okay, but this NCT stalker??? I've heard of her too many times. She's fucking insane? Just full of delulu. WOW. And a total mean girl too, so embarrassing. And so is her overuse of AAVE, apparently she uses n-word too 🤡 Judy needs to be dragged like that Changmin ssng

Hybe stans can't stay focused, now Hybe is the saviour, but 5 months ago there was no "Hybe privilege" lol. Yeah the staff is worried, SM has already made some people redundant :/. TELL ME THIS SIGN WON'T BE TAKEN OFF SOON, I NEED TO SEE IT

LSM is a fucking snake (no disrespect to snakes) he just knows how to protect his stupid ass. Meanwhile Chris Lee commenting on Lookass' post... I never thought they time would come when I will be "defending" SM, or rather hoping for Hybe's downfall.

Snow 🔪🔪🔪🔪 stay warm Baek! Then your avo uni needs to step up their game, invite Exo too! Hoping for some proper tour dates then 🙏 Kai got threatened?! I mean it's London so absolutely no shocked :/ he doesn't need to go to London, there are other places in Europe (contrary to popular belief)

I'm gonna make a compilation of some good food I've eaten. <3

It's ridiculous, because posh people get mocked for their accents and stupidity, but they also mock others for being poor and having ugly accents soooo. Yeah, what a place indeed. My friend from a town next to Liverpool got asked to change his accent once he got a job at one of London's banks

5 dollars wow Baek young and rich era!

The dream was me photographing some guy - he wasn't Hwa at first but turned into him eventually, atp Seonghwa is the default man in my subconsciousness - we were at a sandpit and it wa so fucking dark lol. Anyway he was a bit gloomy, so I tried to cheer him up somehow. Then we were on a creepy train, I remember being upset that I wasn't in the same carriage as Hwa and went to visit him. But he was with some girl and other ppl and I was jealous???? I asked him if he'd get off on my station and help me. There was some shit going on tho, like I mentioned the train was creepy and we just wanted to leave. Everyone was so sus. Eventually Seonghwa got off with me and walked me home, but we were stalked by some guy - apparently my ex or just a creep who thought we were together 🤔💀

The absolute disrespect towards Seonghwa's dirty blonde hair!!! He has some defenders thankfully, but 🤡🤡🤡🤡 grey too, what a colour. You know the haters just want him to have black hair all the time, probably with an undercut too. No creativity whatsoever!

Hmm posh Hwa... maybe, but he comes from a smaller town and uses satoori. He grew up near water, so in my head Seonghwa is from Cornwall ❤ Cornish people have a slight piratey accent

I read the new model Hwa fic, Y/N is me whenever I look at him tbh. I wish I was OP 😭 I'm just a medium, I'm manifesting shit

That Woo AU does sound nice, are there any Wommys on this blog? They'd be excited 👀

Come to think they aren't that many F1 movies apart from documentaries and some lesser known productions, except for Rush

Everyone's slandering Hwa for being such a guy definitely a humbling experience, but hey at least he looked adorable (the need to bite his nose!)

I thought it said HALA MADRID 😭 BUT HELLO. I was hoping they'd go see the match, but I think they've already left :/

GIVE HIM SOME GRAPHIC EYELINER, he's so cuteeeee. I've decided to pass away

HOLD ON WAIT I'VE BEEN RESURRECTED 😭😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧 THAT'S MY CAT BOY - DV 💖

hello!!

Stop that Manchester tweet lmao. Yeah unfortunately football isn't always fair, so the better team doesn't always win. However Arsenal got 60 points right now 🥰 Liverpool is redeeming itself, but Chelsea??? London is blue whereeee

LMFAOOOO AFTER LIKE HOW MANY YEARS?? mayb ten hag was onto something,,, now if we talk about the el classico, i WAS READY TO BE HUMILIATED BC WE DIDNT HAVE OUR MAIN PLAYERS but ☺️☺️☺️  anyway why’s benzema acting like this 🤨 he’s acting like the demographic he dates bc damn ??? u weren't gonna win anyways?? 😭😭 and what’s up with rm fans being racist again come on 😭😭😭  man city’s rIGHT behind, they started alvarez and now everything is going well 💓💖

What the fuck the Prison League is extending. Omfg no I didn't hear about the Grnwd thing. So now people are calling the girl a liar and while it's possible, abused people often go back to their partners and tbh I doubt he'd be with her if she falsely accused him… idk this is fucked  /// I met that one girl back in 2019, I thought she was alright, but turns out she's a weirdo and is travelling everywhere Atz goes

YEAAAAHHH apparently hakimi’s wife was already divorcing him and this prob did some more damage 😭😭 yeah like it takes like 7 trues or something to get rid of them and tbh the way some man utd fans are acting 🔫🔫 ngl she def took the complaint back bc of the money he has, terrible,,, NAURRRRRR does she still do it?? 😭😭 psg is actually finished

Okay, but this NCT stalker??? I've heard of her too many times. She's fucking insane? Just full of delulu. WOW. And a total mean girl too, so embarrassing. And so is her overuse of AAVE, apparently she uses n-word too 🤡 Judy needs to be dragged like that Changmin ssng

omg i just saw all about that and the way theres absolutely NO SHAME and it’s instead all “ok 🥰🥰🥰” ???? nctzens need to throw hands bc what the hell??? if i was an idol id actually throw hands, what ate the bodyguard doing how are they just able to know their info ??? NOOOO THE WORST COMBO 😭😭😭 changmin needs to pull up to be nct’s bodyguard atp,, slap slap slap and drag out of the taxi with all the ppl she was with

Hybe stans can't stay focused, now Hybe is the saviour, but 5 months ago there was no "Hybe privilege" lol. Yeah the staff is worried, SM has already made some people redundant :/. TELL ME THIS SIGN WON'T BE TAKEN OFF SOON, I NEED TO SEE IT

actually going to go mental i wonder how all the artists are feeling despite updating us with nice messages 😭😭😭 imagine having your entire life spent at that company and being a family w everyone and going thru all the scandals and now it’s this mf company 😭😭😭

LSM is a fucking snake (no disrespect to snakes) he just knows how to protect his stupid ass. Meanwhile Chris Lee commenting on Lookass' post… I never thought they time would come when I will be "defending" SM, or rather hoping for Hybe's downfall.

HE REALLY DOES ITS SO IRRITATING BUT SO FUNNY HOW HE’S SCAMMING THEM IN THEIR OWN CONTRACTS PLS 😭😭😭 chris lee is actually finished,, unhinged man atp trying to back down and be all nice like bro we see right through you????  all this happened after he posted that lookas photo to NO CAUSE SAME FBWJDH NEVER THOUGHT ID BE STANDING FIRST IN LINE TO DEFEND THAT PINK COMPANY

bruh

Snow 🔪🔪🔪🔪 stay warm Baek! Then your avo uni needs to step up their game, invite Exo too! Hoping for some proper tour dates then 🙏 Kai got threatened?! I mean it's London so absolutely no shocked :/ he doesn't need to go to London, there are other places in Europe (contrary to popular belief)

went outside for a walk <3 teeth chattering, legs shaking <33 love canada 🥰🥰💖💓✨☺️ MY UNI SHUT DOWN BC OF THE 5CM SNOW DHSJHFKS THERES NO HOPE FROM THAT JAIL DUPE,, yeah 😭😭 during like mama-wolf era! exo went london and they pulled the 🔪 and now he kind never wants to go there fbfb “(contrary to popular belief)” 😭😭😭 he’s def going paris for sure!! berlin too!

I'm gonna make a compilation of some good food I've eaten. &lt;3

PLEASE DO!!!!

It's ridiculous, because posh people get mocked for their accents and stupidity, but they also mock others for being poor and having ugly accents soooo. Yeah, what a place indeed. My friend from a town next to Liverpool got asked to change his accent once he got a job at one of London's banks /// 5 dollars wow Baek young and rich era!

WHAT IS THIS 😭😭😭 damn your guys’s hierarchy system worse than ours 😭😭😭 if i ever visit that place catch me with the brummie accent, will channel my peaky blinder era <3 OH NO WAY???? ITS THAT BAD??? 😭😭😭 young and rich yoURE RIGHTT MY BANK IS FULL!!! TO THE BRIM!!! was actually scared when the reception last said i won 😭😭 i was going to start crying but it was just 5$ smh also do u eat that beans on the toast thing 🤨

The dream was me photographing some guy - he wasn't Hwa at first but turned into him eventually, atp Seonghwa is the default man in my subconsciousness - we were at a sandpit and it wa so fucking dark lol. Anyway he was a bit gloomy, so I tried to cheer him up somehow. Then we were on a creepy train, I remember being upset that I wasn't in the same carriage as Hwa and went to visit him. But he was with some girl and other ppl and I was jealous???? I asked him if he'd get off on my station and help me. There was some shit going on tho, like I mentioned the train was creepy and we just wanted to leave. Everyone was so sus. Eventually Seonghwa got off with me and walked me home, but we were stalked by some guy - apparently my ex or just a creep who thought we were together 🤔💀//// The absolute disrespect towards Seonghwa's dirty blonde hair!!! He has some defenders thankfully, but 🤡🤡🤡🤡 grey too, what a colour. You know the haters just want him to have black hair all the time, probably with an undercut too. No creativity whatsoever!

you are miss tenelka but on crack, heavy crack BRKQHDWKHDWKJCC U HAD UR YN MOMENT IN THE DREAM FBWNDJCCJ “But he was with some girl and other ppl and I was jealous????” AS U SHOULD THATS YOUR MAN THROW HANDS AT THEM,,, NO SERIOUSLY ATINYS HAVE NO TASTE I SWEAR ALL THE TWT ONES DISRESPECT THE BEST HAIRS,,, it’s always the ones who want him to have black hair smh 🔫🔫🔫 silver hair is honestly so underrated / under appreciated on him, it’s should be crime, he served us angst and the with blond he served cunt!

Hmm posh Hwa… maybe, but he comes from a smaller town and uses satoori. He grew up near water, so in my head Seonghwa is from Cornwall ❤ Cornish people have a slight piratey accent /// I read the new model Hwa fic, Y/N is me whenever I look at him tbh. I wish I was OP 😭 I'm just a medium, I'm manifesting shit

oh he’s from the duchess of cornwall camilla area 🤨🤨 PIRATE ACCENT??? are they the deep south of uk fbwnddb ANON U WERE THE YN IN THAT DREAM, PHOTOGRAPHING HWA !!!! ur our psychic medium pls gimme a lil of cards and predict my future <3

That Woo AU does sound nice, are there any Wommys on this blog? They'd be excited 👀/// Come to think they aren't that many F1 movies apart from documentaries and some lesser known productions, except for Rush

very many wommy’s here 👀 but catch me making this a seonghwa fic 💃💃 ur right! after drive to survive there’s really nothing 😭😭 the schumacher documentary was really good! i wish they’d do some more but the drivers have their own youtube channel so it’s nice to see them vlogging! hopefully it's a ferrari year 😭😭😭😭

not ferrari but may b a mercedes hwa au!

Everyone's slandering Hwa for being such a guy definitely a humbling experience, but hey at least he looked adorable (the need to bite his nose!) /// I thought it said HALA MADRID 😭 BUT HELLO. I was hoping they'd go see the match, but I think they've already left :/

LMFAOOOO in the end of the day he’s just a dude 😭😭😭 disappointed but not surprised, why bite the nose when u can have a seat on it- FBWNDHSK NO BC I THOUGHT IT WAS HALA MADRID TOO BUT I KNOW HES A BARCA FAN I FEEL IT IN MY BONES but he’s def a spurs fan 😔

GIVE HIM SOME GRAPHIC EYELINER, he's so cuteeeee. I've decided to pass away /// HOLD ON WAIT I'VE BEEN RESURRECTED 😭😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧 THAT'S MY CAT BOY  - DV 💖

HE???? HE???? HOW FUCKING DARE HE

AND THIS???? IM GOING TO COMBUST ANON

anon i think we won,,, the entire track list looks so promising 😭😭😭

not a show but a private event,,, anon we’re getting there 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

anon is this u

[gloriousmishaps]

figuring out you might have a diagnosable mental illness in your adult years and then looking back on everything you did as a kid and slowly connecting the dots is both a satisfying and terrifying experience

[cummin-n-cryin]

👁️👁️ Phantom bride event gave me ideas. What if instead of Eliza, we the reader are the birde? The wedding is assumed fake, a means of just helping everyone live out a fantasy or even get parents off their backs. By the time we realize that it's real, it's already too late. You can do this as headcanons if it makes you more comfortable. I didn't see a limit but just in case, specifically Idia, Kalim and Jamil for this.

~Thank you for your request!

Together Forever!

Idia Shroud + Kalim Al-Asim + Jamil Viper x gn!reader (they are all separate)

Tw: Yandere, obsession, forced marriage

Side Note: I did this more from their pov as it was just easier for me to write. I apologize that this took so long I had to research the characters, and writing their dialogue was tricky. Anyway I hope you like it!

~Idia Shroud~

Seeing you talking and dancing around with those other humans in such beautiful and extravagant clothes made Idia's heart race. You truly looked ethereal... His eyes burned from not blinking, he didn't want to miss a single detail of this CG, this might be a once in a lifetime event!

As he continued to watch you however, Idia couldn't help but notice the way the humans were talking to you.

You were being surrounded by those normies, all talking and chatting with you. They were acting like he couldn't see all of them salivating at the mouth just to get near you... with those stupid looks in their eyes... Have they ever looked in a mirror?! Don't they see how unworthy of your time they are, of your beauty, of yo-your.. EVERYTHING?!!?! DON'T THEY SEE HOW MUCH BETTER YOU ARE THAN THEM?!?!?!

.......um.. anyway-

Eventually after "watching" (stalking) you for so long, you left those normies and retreated into an empty hall, this was the perfect opportunity for Idia. After waiting for months just to talk to you, watching you through the school's cameras just wasn't enough anymore.

His parents have been pestering him about finding a partner lately so maybe....

"He-hey, um.. I know this might sound weird..."

Surprisingly it was much easier to convince you than he thought! Even though he was stumbling through saying the words, you were so willing to help him get his parents to stop bugging him, by faking a marriage with him of all things!

Of course he reassured you that it was fake, but.... obviously you must be deeply in love with him, you wouldn't have agreed otherwise, right? If you really didn't love him you wouldn't have agreed to marry a weirdo otaku like him!!

The whole event was a phenomenal experience. He put the ring on your finger and finally after watching from the shadows for so long, Idia leaned in and kissed you. He never tasted anything sweeter.

That look of shock on your face... you must be as happy as he is! He understands that this must be quite overwhelming for you, as it is for him but there's no need to cry. He wont ever leave you, you two can stay together forever!

"Fuheehee... finally.. now you can never leave me~~."

New Achievement Unlocked: Married!

~Kalim Al-Asim~

Kalim has shown his love for you so many times at this point, he would go to Ramshackle and drag you over to Scarabia to throw huge banquets for you, every moment he could he would spend his time with you.

He would sometimes invite you over late at night to join him for board games, dancing, or going on magic carpet rides always saying, "Come on! Come hang out with me, it'll be super fun!"

You always looked so happy to join him, which also made him super happy!

Kalim comes from a BIG family. He loves all of his family members dearly. He also really loves you, so you should join his family too! Which obviously means you two should get married! The bigger the family the better, right?

But Jamil always managed to stop Kalim, saying he needs to focus on his schoolwork among other things. So with a heavy heart and a deep sigh he pushed away his feelings for now, waiting for the perfect day to propose to you.

Finally that day came.

You were dressed in expensive and luxurious fabrics, dancing and laughing with the others. You had such a huge smile on your face, but.. he wished that it was you looking at him like that, he wanted to be the one you were dancing and laughing with!

So he ran up to you, "Y/n! I need to ask you something!"

He proposed the idea that you and him should get fake married! Thankfully you agreed easily, seeing it as a fun and interesting way to end such a chaotic night like this, and besides how could you hate Kalim, the banquets Kalim throws are always amazing!!

Of course it's all a lie and he feels super bad for lying about it, but don't worry! When you and him go to the Scalding Sands he'll throw an extra huge banquet and a parade to celebrate your marriage, also all his family will be there to!

However for right now the Scarabia dorm will work.

After setting up a banquet and a parade in Scarabia with the help of Jamil, you two were now officially married! During the whole event Kalim was ecstatic. He felt a rush course through him and he was so happy!

Of course being as happy as he was he couldn't help it, and he leaned towards you and kissed you. He felt like he was flying on clouds, there was no feeling that could compare to how he felt when he put his lips on yours. He was addicted.

You just stood in shock, he couldn't blame you he's shocked as well! He grabbed your hand and took off running towards the dancefloor, giggling and laughing along the way. He knows those tears your crying are because your so overjoyed, he feels like crying too! He finally gets to be with you forever, he could never be happier!

"Hahaha~! Let's sing and dance till the sun rises, together!"

~Jamil Viper~

Jamil has been pining for you for so long at this point. The only reason he never confessed his feelings was because of Kalim. Having to watch over Kalim while he saw you hanging out with Ace, Deuce, and Grim made his blood boil. He really just wanted you all to himself.

These feelings of his were strange at first, unexpected even, but not bad. However over time what started as a simple fascination or even crush turned into an obsession. He was possessive, he needed you, no... wanted you, and as he thought about it more and more what better way to keep you by his side than marriage?

He planned carefully for many days and nights, trying to figure out how to get you to fall in love with him. He tried to do things typical people would do, such as cooking food for you, trying to talk to you, and even trying to help you with your school work, but Kalim... tche, Kalim just wouldn't stop getting in the way...

Kalim would constantly grab your attention, dragging you off somewhere else when Jamil was right there trying to have a conversation with you, or Kalim would ask Jamil to start making food for a banquet when he was in the middle of cooking food for you. It was frustrating really...

Lucky for him however a very unique event would take place at the school.

Now here you are dressed in colorful and unique fabrics, dancing and chatting with the other boys. You looked amazing, the colors and decorations you wore were eye-catching, the fabric silky smooth and shaped around your body perfectly, in short you looked stunning.

Most importantly however was that Kalim wasn't here to interrupt him. While he did not plan for this event he can certainly make do with what he's got, so he quickly thought of a plan and put it into action.

When you finally left your group to take a moment to yourself in the empty hallway, that's when he struck.

"Y/n. If I could speak to you for a moment..."

It was quite simple to convince you really, all he had to tell you was that he had no problem pretending to marry you so that all those annoying pests would leave you alone, acting as a knight in shining armor for you.

He of course thought of using his ability "Snake Whisper" to make it easier for you to "agree", but thankfully it seems having all those boys chatting you up was really getting on your nerves, and so you agreed to the fake marriage.

All according to plan...

Kalim, of course wanted to throw a banquet for you two newly weds, and this time Jamil let Kalim do as he pleased, after all Jamil got what he wanted...

Now here he is officially married to you, and leaning towards you he firmly plants his lips upon yours. He never felt more free in his life, if he had the choice he would have loved to hold you like this forever. He has you now, and he plans on never letting go.

Your shocked expression and your tears were expected when you realized the truth, but that's nothing "Snake Whisper" can't fix. If he has to manipulate you into loving him then so be it, but it would really make everything so much easier if you just cooperated with him. So don't cause him anymore grief and start loving him already.

"The only place you belong is beside me...."

[annemagus]

the love club; h.p.

Pairing: harry potter x fem!Hufflepuff!reader Timeline: GOF / 4th year Warning(s): angsty harry, tooth-rotting fluff, mentions of death and child abuse Word Count: 6.6k

A/N: I haven't read GOF for years now so here's what I've raked from my poor memory. Please, for a more virtual experience, watch this amazing Hufflepuff Common Room Tour!

Harry Potter has never given Hermione's S.P.E.W. club any pinch of interest. But a certain Hufflepuff girl changed his mind.

—

"It's not spew! It's S-P-E-W. Stands for the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare!"

Hermione and Ron are doing their morning routine in front of Harry; bickering like a married couple. Hermione reveals that she has started S.P.E.W., a club for fighting for house-elf rights and has just spent time in the library researching house-elf history. He was awoken from a good night slumber only to be greeted by his two best friends bellowing at each other.

"Never heard of it."

"Well, of course, you haven't! I've only just started it."

"And how many members do you have?"

"Well, if you two join, three."

Harry ignores the two in front of him. The boy was surrounded by Gryffindors who are buzzing with excitement about the Triwizard Tournament. Of course, the thought of playing in a game as wide as this entered his mind. But if the prize of it only gives you eternal glory then count him out of it.

That afternoon, the Trio went to Hagrid's Cabin because of Hermione's Club. They were greeted by a small group of Hufflepuffs crowding the Blast-Ended Skrewts in the backyard.

"I don't know how they do that." Ron nodding his head at the students wearing yellow robes, with a puzzled expression. "They're vile those creatures, I'm telling you. Yet, here are the puffies still watching over them."

The Trio doesn't have Care of Magical Creatures with Hufflepuffs this year. Harry isn't familiar with their faces, but one, in particular, caught his eyes.

Before he got the opportunity to continue admiring the girl, his line of vision was interrupted. In front of them was their old good friend Hagrid, looking less ragged and greasy.

"Hag- I mean, Professor Hagrid? Can we speak to you for a while?"

"Hey, you lot!"

He explains to them that he has gotten dressed up for Madame Maxime. Harry promised himself to obliviate this specific sight of Hagrid out of his memory (and the thought of him and the Beauxbatons Headmistress).

Hermione introduced her club to the Professor in which he whole-heartedly refuses to, pointing out that the house-elves enjoy their work.

"It'd be doin' 'em an unkindness, Hermione. It's in their nature ter look after humans, that's what they like, see? Yeh'd be makin' 'em unhappy ter take away their work, an' insultin' 'em if yeh tried ter pay 'em."

"But Harry set Dobby free, and he was over the moon about it! And we heard he's asking for wages now!"

"Yeah, well, yeh get weirdos in every breed. I'm not sayin' there isn't the odd elf who'd take freedom, but yeh'll never persuade most of 'em ter do it — no nothin' doin', Hermione."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the Cabin, Y/N accidentally heard about their conversation. It wasn't really that hard considering the four are speaking too loudly.

When their Professor came back she asked, "What club is she talking about, Professor?"

As usual, Hagrid couldn't keep his mouth shut and told her everything, even ranting about unnecessary stuff he encountered with some House Elves.

Y/N is a Pureblood with one family House Elf but to her defence, they give them the right salary he deserves.

It's true, elf enslavement goes way back centuries. Y/N's mother is the biggest Hufflepuff she's ever known—might have been a great great great granddaughter of Helga Hufflepuff herself but who knows—talked with their House elf, Cuddles about this situation. He will, in fact, be devastated if they free him. It is in their nature to look after Witches and Wizards and dying would've sounded better than being free for him. Living without a sole purpose just sounds so vain.

So by keeping and giving him a salary is like a prize he won for being a good house-elf.

That night at the Great Hall, Y/N gathered all her courage she can muster. It wasn't any deal with her that they got no classes with the Gryffindors. She wasn't friends with any of them anyway. Her luck's just not with her when she needed any interaction with them. She started walking to their table, yellow robe stood out around the red ones. "Granger?"

Looking at her friends, as confused as she was, "Yes?"

"Can I speak with you, in private?" seeing as the other lions are looking at her confusingly. Probably wondering why a badger is at their lair.

She leads the girl over a corner.

"What do you reckon they're talking about?" Harry sputter.

"I don't know maybe they're spewing things."

"Git"

Back to the two girls. "I'm sorry if I come out as an eavesdropper but," pausing, Y/N tries to see how to word it out. "I heard what you told Professor Hagrid. About your Club?"

"Oh," the girl in front of her was now having crimson coloured cheeks, the same colour as her tie. "Uhm, yes, I . . . uh,"

"I'm interested."

"Y-You what?"

"I want to join your club."

—

Hermione went back to her seat with the biggest smile the two has ever seen from her.

"What, did she ask you out?"

"Nothing good coming out of your mouth, huh?" The girl rolled her eyes. Honestly thinking why she still bothers to give him care every time he comments. "Our club is succeeding."

"Our club? Hermione, we told you, we're not gonna be members of it. Besides, I barely have one sickle, let alone two!"

Now ignoring Ron "Her name's Y/N. And she's joining the S-P-E-W club."

Hermione gathered the officers of her club at that same night. Harry, not knowing what a secretary was supposed to do and Ron, figuring out how a tin can works to keep their money.

"Tomorrow's our first official meeting. Lucky for us we have the same free period as Y/N's. So you two best behave yourselves." Her veins pumping with excitement.

Ron gives Harry a signal when the girl in front of them isn't looking. "Oh, tomorrow? That's a bummer! Harry and I have an appointment with the boys."

"Appointment?"

Ron gave Harry a stern look as if to say it's your turn.

"Right, uh, we have a special thing going on now, every week. But it's only for boys." Harry playing along, remembering what they rehearsed at the Boys' Lavatory to get away with Hermione's SPEW.

Hermione didn't respond. Too smart to know what they're doing. The two boys, of course, did not notice how disappointed and hurt she is.

The next day, Y/N was looking for a bushy-haired girl in particular but only sees Harry. She knows that they are the famous Golden Trio, and if Harry Potter is here, then that's definitely where Hermione is as well.

"Harry Potter?"

The boy was playing Gobstones on the ground alone to pass the time. He was waiting for Ron to arrive from his detention with Professor Snape so that the two of them could hide together.

"That's me?"

Y/N thought it was funny how oblivious the boy is to the fact that the whole Wizarding World knows him. "It is, indeed, you. Uhm, may I know where Granger is?"

"Hermione?" nodding "Oh, I don't know honestly that woman wanders about anywhere."

Giggling "Well, if you see her, tell her I'm waiting in the Courtyard."

Harry asks the girl with hesitation as she was just about to turn away from him "May I know what for?"

"For the S-P-E-W Club meeting."

"Really?" The gears in his brain were running. He almost forgot what Hermione said last night about this girl joining her club. "Actually . . . That's why I'm here as well! Yeah, I'm waiting for her for the meeting. Maybe we could wait together?"

"Gladly! I didn't even know you're a member, Potter."

"I am! I am! And I'm also the Secretary of the Club."

"Wow, that must be a big responsibility."

"Well, you know. I love responsibilities." Hufflepuff girl giggles. What a cute sound.

Realizing what he just said, he knew he just screwed his charming points. I sounded like the biggest idiot in town.

Ron has always been late his entire life but at this moment, he's won the best attendance for Harry. He approached the two, saving him from embarrassment "Mate, we gotta go before 'Mione sees us." Looking around them frantically.

"I don't know what you're talking about. We're here for Hermione, right?" It's now Harry's turn to give him a look.

"Yeah, and we're members of her spew club. Come on Harry, quit playing, she's on her way."

He knows he cannot get away with just a look with Ron. So Harry gave the confused Hufflepuff girl a charming smile, at least for him, it felt like a grimace and excused themselves.

He pushed Ron away with him. "We're going to this meeting."

"What do you mean we're going to this meeting?"

"I mean we're going to this meeting! You and I are official members and may I remind you—officers of this Club. This is not something we just brush off. I'll pay for your two sickles, mate."

Ron might be stupid, but he's not dumb. Harry crosses his fingers hoping to get away with the conversation. Completely confused, his best friend looks to him and back to the girl he was talking with. His eyes widen, probably realizing just then that she was the missing Badger at their table from last night. "Don't tell me—Ugh Godric, Harry!"

"W-What?"

"Don't tell me you have a crush with Miss Hufflepuff who likes taking care of Blast Ended Skrewts?!"

"You're exaggerating!" A pause. "Okay, so what if I have? Wouldn't you do that to Hermione, as well? To get to know her"

"What does Hermione got to do with this" The redhead boy has a more fiery shade of crimson on his cheeks than his hair.

"Y/N! It's so good to see you." Speaking of Hermione, the girl arrived smiling at the Hufflepuff girl but immediately turned into a frown seeing the two. "Hey, I thought you boys have an appointment?"

"We cancelled it. Thought this was way more important matter than that appointment, didn't we Ron?" They walked back over to them as Harry nudged Ron's ribs.

"You tell me." He sighed depressingly.

"That's good to hear, you boys! Now, any ideas where we might hold our gathering?"

—

"The Kitchens?!"

None of them recommended a place to hang out so Y/N dragged them to a place she's close to. She leads them to an empty window seat in the far corner of the corridor. The window lets them see the Herbology greenhouse from afar and the field for Flying lessons. Y/N explains that inside one of those doors is where the magic behind all their feasts happen. And lots of House Elves, too.

The Trio took in the scenes in front of them. Obviously, have been never been to this part of the castle. Lots of students wearing yellow robe are around them, just chatting. Then they noticed a group of Hufflepuffs gathering around a painting of a fruit bowl.

"What was the fuss all about there?"

Then, in a spur of the moment, there was a giggle sound and the painting swung open, revealing an opening towards a narrow hallway.

"So that's how you go inside the Hufflepuff Common Room? Why is it not mentioned in the books?"

"The Hufflepuff Common Room?!" they just completely ignore Ron's comments.

"Sorry Granger, confidential matters." Y/N chuckles teasingly. Truthfully speaking, they have passwords and locks per common room for a reason.

The four started their meeting with Hermione leading. She explains her reasoning of why this Club has to be successful, of why House Elves also need rights. The two girls are throwing ideas on each idea. Harry and Ron completely uninterested, just pretended to be taking notes instead.

"I'll send an owl to my parents for some financial help and will try to convince some of my friends. I'm sure they will be delighted to join as well."

"That's good news, Y/N! That really is a huge help!"

"Alright, Uhm, you know your way out?"

"Yeah, I still remember."

"Well, it has been a pleasure talking with the infamous Trio. I'll see you at the next meeting?"

—

Harry could not wait for another meeting. Quite literally. It bored his mind out. He wasn't sure if this club thing will work for his small crush situation. But examining what he did today, it wasn't that bad. He had an alone time with Y/N before the two arrived. Maybe at their next meeting, he will get more time with her to spend.

At their next meeting, a lot has happened. Harry is now a Hogwarts Champion alongside Cedric Diggory, the Hufflepuff's only pride. Harry and Ron are in a complicated status. POTTER STINKS badges are outnumbering their S.P.E.W. badges and Y/N's Blast Ended Skrewts are growing tails.

She waited for the Trio to show up in the Courtyard again, just below the Grand Staircase that leads to the Gryffindor Common Room. Unbeknownst to her, the two boys refuse to talk to each other still so she was only met by her new bushy-haired friend—she always finds her hair really cute.

"So my parents will support the club's weekly financial matters, plus for our snacks," blushing with the info she just reported "and three of my friends, gave their two sickles for the badges—but they said to keep it—yeah."

"Why won't they like the badges though? It couldn't have been the name right? Could have been because of the design?"

"M-Maybe." she chuckles half-heartedly.

Their next meeting was still just the two of them. Y/N never wanted to interfere with their private issues but still thought otherwise. "How were Potter and Weasley?"

"Still acting like children. But Harry's taking the toll on all of it. I believe he didn't put his name in the goblet of fire, yet Ron has to be thick-headed."

"Where can I find him? Potter, I mean."

—

In front of the black lake, Harry leans against a tree with a book in his hand. It wasn't news to the town that he was one of those people who don't like reading (nor studying). The book has a moving picture for a cover on it and it was just keeping him afloat, keeping him sane that he is still in this world. His friends won't believe him, the whole Hogwarts population are teasing him for being an attention seeker, he misses his uncle Sirius and his dream with Voldemort keep playing in his head.

Before Hogwarts, Harry was used to being alone and treated like dirt. His so-called muggle family always making him feel like the most worthless person in the world. He's used to this treatment, everybody turning his back on him. All of the precious people in his life being taken away.

But after knowing about his magic side, his monochrome world turned colourful. Red, green, yellow, everything was dancing, everything seems hopeful and with life. Having his best friends saved him from drowning in hopelessness and death.

Now even them were taken away.

"Harry Potter?"

A melodic sound entered his thoughts. A sound similar to Y/N's voice? Yes, he is Harry Potter also known as The Boy Who Lived and he hated it. His name was as simple as John Doe yet people turn heads when they hear the name. He wishes things were just as normal as Ron's life, or Hermione's. If so, would his parents be alive?

"Earth to Harry?"

"Huh?" turning his head "Y/N? Y/N! W-what are you doing here?"

And there beside him, really is Y/N, showing her purple S.P.E.W. badge pinned to her robe. The club has the most genuine motive yet Harry only joined with a different goal in mind. It's not that he forgot that today's their meeting but with everything that's happening, setting aside his little crush situation was something like a little wipe off the dirt.

"That's rather refreshing to look at. I've been seeing green badges lately." It's true. Draco Malfoy never misses a day getting on his nerves. This time, he even dragged the whole Hogwarts population to team up with him. The POTTER STINKS badge was just a front of his gimmick.

"How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful," with a little harsh tone "I'm sorry, my mood's just,"

"I believe in you, Harry."

To say that the boy was left stunned was an understatement. Beside him, he felt Y/N sit. The boy was used to being left behind. He's used to being kicked, ignored and treated like shit. Now having someone here for him is a foreign feeling.

"If you did put your name in the Goblet of Fire you wouldn't be sulking here now, would you?"

"Don't you Hufflepuffs support Cedric?"

"Well, he's got the 99. Wouldn't hurt him if you got the other 1, right?"

Harry's stares at her, completely in awe. Everybody turned against him, even his best friend, yet here's Y/N. Even though she doesn't know him that much, here she is being awfully kind and caring and overall flawless. She is flawless. I can never get tired of looking at her.

"You're too kind for me, Y/N."

Y/N just looks down at her robes exaggeratedly a gesture to say that's why she's a Hufflepuff in which they laughed off together.

The two stayed in their position and Harry has never felt this good for a while. She busied him with talking. They talked about their hobbies, their favourite Quidditch teams, their favourite pudding and just everything that made Harry forget about his despairs. The book he was holding, was lying on the ground long forgotten.

The sun was setting when Harry walked Y/N back to her Common Room. Her robes flowing perfectly on her figure as she walks. Her laughter was the most contagious thing Harry would let himself influenced into. Looking at her from afar was a pretty sight to see already but looking at her nearer was even prettier.

"Are you sure you wouldn't show me how to get inside?"

"You're one stubborn boy, are you Potter?"

"I was just testing my luck."

"I hope you're feeling better now, Harry Potter. Thank you."

"Please call me, Harry."

At their next meeting, the secretary of the club was now present. As promised, the Y/L/N's sent them a box of biscuits, a different assortment of sweets and pastries for their snacks during their meeting.

Y/N insisted on visiting the Kitchens to talk to some of the House Elves but they ran out of luck as the entrance was locked.

The first task has finished and every one softened on Harry. Ron finally sorted things out with his best friend and the two are now back to being joined by the hip.

"Y/N! Why didn't you tell me you've got glorious foods in here?"

"Well, you're the one who didn't attend the meeting now, aren't you?"

Y/N lead them to the Kitchens to meet the House Elves. They met Dobby—in which the House Elf almost cried with too much delight on seeing Harry—and Winky, having learned her story back in the Quidditch World Cup and her drinking problems. They got small information just like what Hagrid told them, most of the House Elves would only react the way they don't expect and mad is the gentler term for it.

After winning the First Task, the Gryffindor Champion has been trying to solve the clue for the next task. The Golden Egg was securely hidden by the Golden Trio. It has been two weeks since then.

"Potter! Weasley! Will you pay attention?" The duo is both having a sword fight using Fred and George's fake wands at the back of the class. "Now that Potter and Weasley have been kind enough to act their age, I have something to say to you all."

Professor McGonagall introduced them the Yule Ball, a traditional part of the Triwizard Tournament. Only fourth years and above are allowed unless you got invited by a legible one then you're good to go. It was probably the most boring class they got from Transfiguration. So when the class was dismissed Harry wasn't pleased to stay for a private chat with their Professor.

"Potter, the champions and their partners—"

"What partners?"

"Your partner for the Yule Ball, Potter. Your dance partners."

"Dance partners? I don't dance."

"Oh yes, you do. That's what I'm telling you. Traditionally, the champions and their partners open the ball."

"I'm not dancing."

"It is traditional." The older witch explained that he has nothing to do anymore but to find a partner. When he exited the Transfiguration room, only then he realized that this is an easy door of opportunity for him.

He knew perfectly well whom he'd like to ask, but working up the nerve was something else. He doesn't know if she reciprocates his feelings or was just being kind to him. Nevertheless, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about her. Their hands entwined as they danced along with slow music. He felt butterflies in his stomach just with the thought of Y/N. He's seen these scenes when Dudly watches a sappy romantic movie in their living room—his expression cringes when his spoiled cousin invaded his mind.

"Listen, you're not going to have any trouble. You're a champion. You've just beaten a Hungarian Horntail! I bet they'll be queuing up to go with you."

And Ron had been right, a 3rd year Hufflepuff girl asked him that day. Then the next day, more girls asked him even a 2nd year (to his horror) a few 5th years and even some Slytherins.

He planned on asking Y/N out at their next meeting. They only see her in those times as they do not have lessons with the Hufflepuffs for this year. He needs to do it immediately, seeing as every corridor of the castle were couples asking for the Yule Ball as if pressuring him.

So after their S.P.E.W. meeting, Harry gestured the two to leave. "So Y/N, got any plans for Christmas eve?"

"Uhm, my school has this thing called Yule Ball." They chuckled together. It's another thing Harry likes about the girl, her sense of humour. Help me Godric, I'm crazy for this girl. "What about you? Any plans for Christmas eve?"

"Surprisingly yes." Harry plays along leaving them both a laughing mess.

The corridor they were in was empty of soul except theirs. It gave Harry even more courage to blurt out his thought.

"Would you like to go to Yule Ball with me?" To his surprise, Y/N has said the exact same thing at the exact time.

Together, they giggled like a normal teenager on a sappy romance movie and cried a "Yes!"

Their sappy romance movie was now playing a sappy romantic song. If only Harry has a radio, he would've been playing wouldn't it be nice by the beach boys.

"Well, I better go inside."

"I'll see you around, Y/N" Harry sends him a smile the sweetest he could muster before turning around.

"Harry?" Harry looked back at the girl and felt her lips on his cheek "See you around."

—

Harry was ecstatic about the ball. He has told his two best friends about his date and he was surprised that they've seen these all coming.

"About time, mate. You've been staring heart eyes with her all the time."

It's only one week before the ball. Ron received his hideous dress robes from Molly Weasley—though the guy still hasn't found yet a partner too dumb to ever ruining his chances with Hermione, Neville Longbottom has been practising the dance every night in their dorm room and Harry's rehearsing how to prolong a conversation to a girl.

On their Care for Magical Creatures, Hagrid has announced that the Gryffindors and Slytherins' Blast Ended Skrewt look nothing alike to the Hufflepuffs'. Their classes ended with Hagrid announcing to leave the place neatly as the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws are just about on their way to his hut for their own lesson.

Harry's stomach flip-flopped hearing Y/N's house. Their incredible conversation happened exactly a week ago and the Boy Who Lived could not wait for another week to meet his crush. So he left his satchel at Hagrid's Hut before leaving with his best friends.

When they reached the castle, enough time for the Hufflepuffs (and Ravenclaws) to arrive at Hagrid's Hut, Harry announced his situation. "Guys, I forgot my bag."

"How could you have forgotten something as prominent as your bag?"

"I'll be right back, Ron. Geez, don't miss me too much."

And there she is. Standing in the middle of the crowd, looking stunning as ever. When did she get so much prettier than last week? Did she cut her hair? It looks brilliant! Her skin is glowing. And her eyes, oh I could stare back at those all day.

"'Arry! What er yeh doin' back here?"

He was snapped out of his thoughts. "Hagrid! I mean, er Professor Hagrid." He didn't know that all students are looking at him right now. For a moment, he felt his courage nowhere near as if all of it was blasted by the Blast Ended Skrewts in front of them. "I forgot my bag inside."

"Alright, well, carry on. I've got class 'ere."

So he went inside the hut, knowing perfectly well where he left his satchel. As he walks toward the door, he took his time to scan this class, specifically Y/N, how they're doing.

Hufflepuffs may look more interested than the Ravenclaws but they are doing better compared to his own class.

He walked out of the door thanking Hagrid but before he left, his confidence has returned to him as fast as Hippogriffs could fly and sent Y/N a wink when everybody's eyes watch him.

The girl felt all heads turn to her just as her cheeks felt warm. As a Hufflepuff, she loves a social gathering just like this. Meeting new people, hanging out with friends but at that moment, Y/N just wanted to be blasted by the Skrewts. She hates the attention but couldn't help but feel her stomach churn the moment she sights Harry.

Y/N never really intended on developing feelings for the boy. Everybody's got a crush on him mainly for the reason of his fame and story. People believe that he is the Chosen One. The one to defeat the dark lord. What sounded more powerful than that? Everyone would line up to be the Chosen One's girlfriend, but that's not what Y/N's intentions.

She stayed out of his track as much as possible to avoid getting any connection with the Chosen One. Amidst joining Hermione Granger's club, she knows the stakes are high of having to talk to the boy. So on the day of their first meeting, she gathered all the courage she could muster to herself and approached him. It didn't take her long because weeks after, she's now head over heels to the boy.

Harry Potter. He's gonna be the death of me.

Classes are finished and the Christmas Holiday has finally started. The whole Hufflepuff Common Room, in its usual yellow theme, was now added a bit more of darker shades of gold and red. A huge Christmas Tree was standing in the middle of the room, though, the green isn't new to their sight anymore seeing as though the whole Common Room is like their own Herbology Greenhouse.

"Did you hear? Harry Potter flirted at Y/N during a class."

"I've heard that Harry Potter has now chosen a partner."

"Harry Potter ditches a Quidditch player for a normal Hufflepuff, did you know?"

Y/N knew she was the talk of the town. Hufflepuffs love socializing and that includes gossiping. This very thing is what fears her the most. Getting all friendly to the Boy Who Lived has already earned her a few talks but now, the whispers are getting louder.

"I bet she's only after his fame, wanting her name to be in the Daily Prophet."

"She's a pretty good potioneer, no doubt she gave him a love potion."

"Isn't her family rich? I bet you galleons they paid him to go with her."

The whispers get worse every day. Her friends tried to comfort her in which she deeply appreciated, but at the end of the day, the voices enter inside her head and they just keep getting louder and louder.

She believes most of it. Harry deserves someone better than a normal Hufflepuff like her. The Boy Who Lived was neglected with love and people who would care for him and Y/N was sure that she couldn't give him the world he so much deserves.

So in the last trip of Hogwarts Express, two days before the Yule Ball, Y/N said goodbye to her friends and boarded the train.

—

"Hey, Potter."

Hermione and Ron are doing their morning routine in front of Harry; bickering like a married couple. He busied himself with talking to Dean Thomas about some old Quidditch plays and occasionally glancing to the Hufflepuff table. Y/N loves waking up the earliest in the morning so most of the time, he didn't get to meet her in the Grand Hall. So it was a surprise for him to see someone from the said house, one of Y/N's friends Harry recognized, approaching him.

"Yes?"

"Y/N wanted me to tell you that, uhm, that you need to find a new partner for tomorrow's Ball."

"W-What? Why? Where is she?"

"Family emergency. She had to go home. She left yesterday."

Harry felt like throwing up all the feast he's taken this fine morning. Everything was going completely perfect. He was a secretary of a club, just beaten a Hungarian Horntail, gotten himself a date. Now all of a sudden, the world just tumbled upside down.

"She had to keep up with the train the afternoon that's why she couldn't say these to you in person. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, no. Uh, thanks."

The bickering in front of him has stopped and he was met by two pairs of concerned eyes.

"Family emergency, guys. We couldn't help it."

—

The new year has arrived and so is the train going back to Hogwarts. As much enjoyable as having to celebrate Christmas and New Year with her whole family, Y/N finds herself feeling solemn with the thought of what she did to Harry. She just ditched him in a once-in-a-lifetime event, an event that probably is important for him.

The Dinner that day at the Great Hall was too full of tension for Y/N. The voices that made her leave the school in the first place has died down, but their glances still made Y/N uneasy. They're probably looking at me as the girl who ran away.

She would glance at the Gryffindor table only to be met by a concerned smile from the boy she disappointed.

"Don't beat yourself up, Y/N." one of her friends encouraged her. "It's a new year. Don't let this ruin your chance of starting over."

She yearns to speak to him but the idea popped out of her head as fast as it appeared. The thought of walking in the same castle as he is while she lied to him is eating her alive. So the moment when the boy approached her after dinner, the opportunity wasn't wasted.

Y/N brought them to a deserted corridor where they could have privacy and away from the prying eyes of gossipers.

"How was your family, Y/N? I hope they're alright."

"Yes, yes, they're alright. How was your holiday?"

"Boring without you."

If they're in another circumstance, Y/N would've blushed and peck the heck out of Harry's cheeks. The boy's just being a sweetheart and guilt and disappointment is still boiling in the very veins of her whole body. He doesn't deserve a friend as bad as me.

"Harry, I have to tell you something." a heartbeat "M-My family's okay. They understood why I wanted to stay at school the whole Christmas break."

"What do you mean, Y/N."

"I was a coward, Harry. There's no emergency. I let my insecurities get into my head." The boy in front of her looks contemplated. As if wondering what she's saying or if he's right the whole time. "I was too scared-"

"You were ashamed of me."

"No I . . . I wouldn't call it that."

"Oh yeah? Is that why we're in an abandoned corridor where no one can see us?"

Y/N's reasoning behind that is to be away from all malicious eyes. The gossips are still centred around her—a fewer yes—when she came back from home. Yet somehow, from the way he said it, Y/N couldn't help but feel helpless.

"Harry,"

"Sorry Y/N if I dragged you into this. You're right. You're better off without me anyway."

Harry walked out.

Life is just a cycle. One day, he was a servant, way lower than a House Elf, the next day, he was the Chosen One. Y/N felt insecure but so does he. He was raised with a mindset of having no value, not good enough. He felt like the dumbest person in the world.

How could someone like me?

—

A week has passed and the day of another S.P.E.W. meeting has arrived. Y/N was slightly grateful to not have any classes with the Gryffindors for this year. She didn't have to exert energy to avoid the boy she hurt.

"I honestly don't think you'd show up."

"What happened to you and Harry is just between the two of you."

The two still talked about their campaigns and new things about the club. She was glad for having Hermione in her life. The girl could be a nice Hufflepuff to Y/N's opinion. A loyal and reliable friend.

"Are Harry and Ron not coming?"

Hermione sighed. "Harry and Ron have never been interested in our club."

"What do you mean? Why are they coming then?"

"Ron was just dragged into this because of Harry. And Harry only joined the club because of you."

"Me?"

"He wants to get to know you. He's very interested in you. Y/N, Harry fancies you."

If her world shattered after Harry walked out, now it is completely smashed. She knew she liked the boy the first moment he walked her to her Common Room. Knowing that the boy she likes like her back was a revelation that broke Y/N.

"I screwed things up, didn't I?"

"It's never too late to redo things."

Thoughts about Harry fancying her entered her head. The two of them standing side by side wearing their best ball outfits, dancing around in waltz as both their hands are intertwined like a couple they are, laughing and talking until midnight without the fear of getting caught by their teachers. It was a possibility Y/N wasted because of her cowardness. She couldn't believe that Harry would take an interest in her.

"What would you do to regain a friend's trust?"

"Honestly, I don't know what to do Hermione."

"Okay, now what would a Hufflepuff do to regain a friend's trust?"

A bulb lit up inside her head. Ideas about treating Harry just the way he deserves.

"Would you help me?"

—

Back at the Gryffindor Tower, the Common Room was buzzing with students who have finished all their classes. Most of them are senior years who are having study sessions with their classmates for their NEWTs exams.

Harry and Ron were just lounging lazily at one of the couches when Hermione came back from her own appointments.

"We missed you at the meeting."

"Really? Sorry, I had an emergency."

"Harry, you can't just stay bitter all the time."

"I'm not bitter Hermione."

The witch just sighed. She glanced at Ron for some help but the boy was just too clueless to know what's happening.

"Angelina says to meet her at the Quidditch Pitch, by the way. Later at sunset time."

"For what?"

"Probably Quidditch?"

So Harry listened to his Captain's orders without asking any more questions, knowing Hermione knows little about Quidditch. The two went with him.

—

Harry wasn't met by the people he was expecting. His teammates weren't around and there's barely a soul in sight. Standing there in the middle of the field was Y/N. Surrounded by a picnic cloth and flower arrangements of sorts and floating Christmas lights.

He looked back at his best friends to find them nowhere in sight. Sighing, he walked slowly to where Y/N is.

"Harry"

"What do you want?"

The silence was her only response as everything Y/N rehearsed for was down in the drain in a matter of 3 seconds. Her hands are cold, beady sweats enveloping her neck. She tried fixing her hair the way she likes when there's an occasion. But with all the nerves she's feeling now, the girl couldn't help but feel like the ugliest she is now.

This is big deal to her. It wasn't just Harry Potter, but he's the boy she adores a lot. She was his friend. And Y/N hates having bad blood with any of her friends.

"Harry, I know there are no words I could use to express how deeply sorry I am. But I really do." A heartbeat. The boy wasn't even glancing in her direction. He was just glaring at the grass below him. "And I miss you."

The boy finally turned his gaze from the ground to the anxious girl in front of him. He was still glaring, but lesser.

"You miss me?" He asked more from confusion rather than from shock.

Y/N honestly don't know what to answer him. She misses Harry because she makes him laugh, he and Ron are the duo that just makes everyone feel safe and happy, seeing his gorgeous face is an art Y/N would consider worth framing as a photograph, his voice is soothing and lulling that even a roaring wave would calm down and she likes him.

Gosh. Because Harry you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

"Because . . . Because," Harry turned wanting to hear nothing of this bullshit anymore. "Because I like you, Harry!"

And Harry stopped his track. Her words are still echoing loudly inside his head. Could it be possible?

"I like you, Harry. A lot."

He wasn't expecting a conversation happening like this for a while. Maybe if the Yule Ball date happened but other than that, Harry was definitely a coward for asking a girl out, he couldn't use any excuses anymore such as the Yule Ball.

"If you think that I care not on you, then you're wrong. I've always been intrigued by you but my insecurities get into me. I know you don't know me but we're classmates in some classes from the first year until this year. I tried avoiding you three as much as possible. But now, I know I just wasted such a beautiful relationship with beautiful people. I like the way you make me feel, even when you are not around. I look forward to our SPEW meetings because I get to see you. I tried to block all these things I'm hearing from people but deep inside, I know that they're right. You deserve better. You deserve the best. But with the process, I just pushed you and possibly hurt you. You're my friend, Harry. And I failed to be one for you."

The boy in front of her is speechless. He looks no longer pissed and is back to his normal self.

Y/N felt like she was showered with a warm bucket full of water. Her nerves are gone. But the boy is still motionless. "Harry, say something please."

"Merlin, Y/N. I wasn't that pissed at you. You don't need to turn into Shakespeare."

"Shakes peer? What's that?"

Harry walks to the little picnic area where Y/N is standing. He turned on the radio beside her and stood in front of her with their shoes touching. The radio was playing a slow song with a beat that will want the listener to stand up and dance. "Will you shut up and just dance with me instead?"

"Do you forgive me?"

With eyes full of hope, Harry grabbed the girl's hands and put them both at the back of his neck, locking himself. His fingers went to ghost on either side of her, careful not to make her uncomfortable with the new proximity they are now. Her eyes are now glistening with tears threatening to fall.

"Y/N, did you know why I join Hermione's spew club?"

"Hermione might've mentioned it, but go on."

"Dobby used to annoy me a lot. Freeing him had never been that big of a deal to me, the house-elf deserves it. But I never knew that'll start Hermione's resistance club." He swayed them together, mentally taking note of what Professor McGonagall taught them for the ball.

He hated that day. He once was ecstatic about the event because of his supposed dance partner. But after hearing her emergency, the thought of the ball only disappointed him. Now here he was. Finally dancing with his real dance partner. The only one that makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"I only joined because of you."

"Why? There's nothing special to me. I'm just Y/N."

"You are Y/N. And all I wanted is Y/N." From that day on, Harry felt like the Chosen One. Y/N chose him and made him feel special. Looking back, his decision on joining the S.P.E.W. club sounded not too bad at all.

—

Tag: @harryjamespotterxreader @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

[house-of-slayterr]

A Riddle to Remember, A Night to Forget

CW: PTSD... nothing majorly distressing

@howl-fantasies

Oswald’s POV:

I paced around Edward's Dingy apartment. This wasn't how I first imagined coking here. This situation was certainly less favourable. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned with haste.

“Your pacing isn’t helping me think.” Riddlers harsh voice spoke.

I rolled my eyes.

“Think faster!”

“I’m trying. You’ve not really given the two of us much to work with. Edward checked out the second you said Maggie was in trouble. Poor bloke catches feelings to quickly. I’m just trying to figure out why the two of you give a shit about this girl.”

I slapped him hard across the face with my cane.

“Help her or I swear to god-“

“You’ll what? We both know you’re to smitten with Edward to hurt us. Not majorly at least. Not like the girl was hurt.”

“Her name is Maggie.” I grumbled.

“Run me through it one more time.” They sighed.

“I don’t know exactly what happened. But I got a tip that Wendell had tortured her, that creeps been following her around for a while now. God, I should kill him.”

“Oswald, focus.”

“Right. Umm, she introduced herself to me as Maggie, that’s what everyone knows her as. But when I came over to check on her last night she was different. She said her name was Molly. And she didn’t seem to remember me. She didn’t seem to remember much of anything.”

“So you think she’s like us. I’ll be excited to meet Molly. Maggie seems boring, hanging out with that cop all the time.”

“Molly is a child you weirdo. Though she did admit to killing people- or at least hurting them beyond repair. God this whole situation is fucked. I don’t even know how old she thinks she is. Young enough to still be playing with dolls.”

“It’s not uncommon for people who dissociate to imagine themselves as younger. But the question is, why did she become Molly. Why the hell would being tortured bring out an alter who’s totally incapable of dealing with a situation like that. Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep Maggie in control?” Riddler asked.

“I don’t know, you’re the one who experiences it.”

Maggie, or Molly, stirred in the bed, and I hobbled over to her quickly.

“Hey.” I said softly.

“Mr. Oswald!” She cheered!

It seemed she noticed Edwards presence as she stiffened. She hid her face in my neck, looking scared. Riddler chuckled under his breath and I shot him a glare. I ran my hand up and down her spine in a comforting motion.

“I have hair but I’m not a wig. I’m made of plastic but I’m not a comb. I have legs but I’m not a chair. You can dress me but I’m not a dog. I’m a toy but I’m not a board game. What am I?” Riddler quipped.

I was about to scold him but she leaned back, pulling away from me.

“A Doll!” She exclaimed. “Did I get it right mister?”

He smirked down at her.

“Indeed.”

“Are you a friend of Mr. Oswald’s… do you know my father?” She asked.

“I wouldn’t say friend… and no, but I’d love to hear about him.”

I tried to figure out what he was scheming. I really wish Edward had control right now. He’d be much more delicate in this situation. Molly seemed to perk up.

“Oh he’s the best doll maker! He keeps his Dollies really well when they play nice and follow the rules. Did you know he made me a whole playhouse? I even got my own bed!”

A shiver ran down my spine, I didn’t like the implications of that sentence. Riddler seemed to have noticed because he gave me a worried glance.

“And what do you do in this playhouse?”

“We’ll I play silly. I get the other Dolls ready for show time. They don’t have voice boxes like me, they’re more simple. But they’re very pretty. I don’t like the pretty Dolls, father gives them too much attention.” She frowned.

“And why don’t they have voice boxes?”

“We’ll they were very noisy so father made me remove them. They would scream too much. Good Dolls don’t scream. They just sit there and look nice for their owners. One Dolly had to have her legs removed, she wouldn’t put on her shoes for playtime. And when she tried to run father broke them. She didn’t learn the first time.”

I starred in disgust. When I found this man I would torture him until the sun comes up. Then leave him for Victor and Y/N to finish off. What kind of sick man does this.

“We’ll a broken doll isn’t very useful is it?” Riddler kept prodding.

I don’t understand how he could just sit there and listen to this.

“No, they don’t. Bad Dolls get reused for good parts.” Her face dropped. “If I’m not a bad doll, why would daddy get rid of me?” She sobbed.

I pulled her into another hug. Riddler looked uncomfortable with the shows of affection and excused himself to think. I watched him out of the corner of my eye.

“Molly?” I asked.

“Yes?” She sniffled.

“Do you think I can talk to Maggie?” I asked.

It sometimes worked with Ed, trying to Coax the Riddler out when I need him.

“I don’t understand. Do you want me to act like Maggie?” She asked.

I should have been more carful with my word choice. I had no idea who she thought Magnolia was.

“But there are no Dolls to be punished. Do you need me to punish your friend Mr. Oswald?”

I shook my head frantically. That was the last thing I needed.

“No, no. I just want to know more about how Magnolia Works, that’s all.”

“Magnolia doesn’t feel things, she’s not allowed to. I like when I get to be Molly. Molly is nice.”

“We’ll, why don’t you rest Molly. You still seem pretty tired.”

She nodded, and snuggled up to me, curling herself the best she could into my lap. I froze at the contact. It was strange. I whispered over to Riddler.

“Do you see what I mean? This isn’t my Maggie.”

“Not everyone exists to be the way you want them Oswald. I say leave her be.”

“Are you insane? She can’t go out in public acting like a child Riddler, she has a job. She has a life! What if she gets herself hurt huh? What then?”

“What do you know about “your” Maggie then. Maybe we can trigger her out. Molly is only here because of whatever dynamic they’ve worked out between the two of them. For some reason she feels safer as a child then as an adult. So start there. I don’t have time for this.”

Before I could stop him, he was leaving the apartment.

“Lock up when you’re gone Oswald.”

I suddenly had an idea. Maggie, older Maggie, had a strange obsession with Jim. She really needed better taste in men. I pulled out my phone and dialled his number, putting it on speaker phone. Her head perked up a little when she heard the dial tone. She furrowed her brows at me.

“What do you want Oswald? I’m kind of busy.” Jim’s voice came through the phone.

Maggie’s eyes widened and she shot up. She blinked rapidly a few times, looking around confused. I hug up the phone. My plan had actually worked.

“Maggie, you ok?”

Make turned to me slowly.

“Oswald… where are we?”

Her voice seemed more calculated. I smiled to myself. I didn’t know how to explain this to her, or if it was even safe to.

“Don’t worry about it my Dear.” I said.

I pulled her back into me. She giggled a little and swatted at my hands.

“Why are you being so sappy Oz? It’s gross.” She joked.

Before she could look up at me I wrapped my arm around her throat and squeezed. She thrashed in my arms.

“She, just got to sleep Maggie, you won’t remember a thing.”

Maggie’s POV:

I awoke with a start in bed, panting heavily. I just had the strangest dream. My whole body felt like it was on fire. I heard sounds coming from my kitchen and I panicked, grabbing the knife I keep under my pillow and making my way over. As I raised the knife to the intruder her turned around and caught it with ease.

“Oliver?” I asked.

“Good to see you’re awake, you look even worse than the last time I saw you.”

“Last time you saw me? Ollie we haven’t talk since Slade and Mom…”

I saw his body tense at the mention of that maniac. He turned back around and went back to cooking.

“I’m making tofu scramble, figured you must be hungry.”

“Stop deflecting Oliver, that’s my thing. What’s wrong? You wouldn’t be here if something wasn’t wrong.”

“Thea misses you is all, wanted to see if I could convince you to come home.”

I didn’t believe him, but I knew better than to pry. He’d tell me if he felt it was important.

“This is my home Oliver, you know as well as I do that I didn’t belong there. Moira had a good heart, but she never really thought of me as her kid. It just looked good for business. If Thea wants to see me she can come like you did.”

“Moira loved you and you know that. You’re my sister Maggie. Come home.”

“I’m not ready. I have friends here Ollie.”

“Yeah like that bald guy and the girl who looks like Kitana and Lara Croft had a baby?”

I bit back a laugh.

“What, I’m not immune to pop culture references.”

I grabbed his hand and tore his attention away from the stove.

“Look at me Oliver. I’m safe here, I’m happy here. I’ll come visit soon, I swear on mamas grave.”

He smiled giving me a nod.

“Just don’t get yourself killed alright kiddo. Remember what I taught you.”

“Watch my back, never let my guard down. Got it. Now can we just enjoy breakfast? How long are you sticking around?”

“I’m going back later today. Felicity called while you were out. Damian Dhark’s back in town.”

I stopped shovelling food into my mouth for a second and starred at my brother.

“Don’t worry, we can handle it. I’ve got a team now remember?”

He ruffled my hair and I pulled away.

“Tell them I say hi?”

“Sure.”

“And seriously Oliver, call me if you need any help. If any of you get hurt I won’t forgive myself.”

“I’ve been at this a lot longer than you Maggie. Im a professional.”

I scoffed.

“Yeah, professional Jack ass.” I jeered. “Tell Thea to come visit ok, I think she’d like it here. She can bring Roy too. I miss them.”

“I’ll send her on the first plane over.” He assured me.

We ate the rest of our meal in silence and I bid my brother goodbye.

“If Dhark kills you… I will rain hellfire down on him.”

“Im counting on it.”

I closed the door behind him, making sure to lock it in the process. Kinda pointless in Gotham, but force of habit I suppose. I walked to the bathroom and paused when I saw my reflection in the mirror. My eye looked bloodshot and tired, and my skin was pale. I frowned. How bad was the stupid Gala if I woke up looking like this?

I began to strip out of my clothes, turning on the hour water of the shower. I figured my ribs just hurt from how tightly Y/N had laced that stupid corset. I hoped into the shower and hissed as the water hit my skin. When I looked down I saw red, and I began to panic. I stumbled out of the shower and looked over my body to see it covered in marks.

“What the fuck?” I screamed.

I quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself. When I looked back up at the mirror I jumped, someone was behind me. I spun around.

“Jesus Y/N, ever heard of knocking?” I exclaimed!

She just chuckled lightly. She looked different today, more casual. I noticed she looked more on edge than usual, paranoid. Despite her pristine makeup, her eye bags weren’t fully covered.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Could be asking you the same thing Sweetpea. You look like hell.”

“Yeah, still trying to figure that out. What the hell happened at the Gala?”

“You mean you don’t remember?”

I shook my head.

“I remember you and Vic didn’t come say hi, and that Oswald left me all alone to go handle ‘business’…”

“What else?”

“Umm i don’t know, met that Bruce Wayne, cute kid. And his little girlfriend. But that’s really it.”

“Is that really all you remember?”

I sighed, frustrated.

“Yes. Why the hell would I lie to you Y/N? I’m not stupid, and I don’t have a fucking death wish.”

I noticed she clenched and unclenched her jaw.

“Sometimes it seems like you do Kid. You got Shot at the Gala, some guy named Jerome tried to attack the Bruce kid, I’m told you saved him.”

“Really?”

“Then you came back home after the hospital and Wendell was waiting for you. Bastard tortured you. You really don’t remember any of this?”

I froze, my hand shaking so much I dropped my towel. I didn’t much care if she saw, it was only Y/N after all. I fell to my knees trying to catch my breath.

“Wendell was in my apartment?”

I tried to mask my anger with shock, attempting to control my breathing. She crouched down in front of me.

“Don’t worry kid, Oswald has anybody who’s a somebody  out there looking for him. You’ll be safe soon.”

I didn’t know wether I was crying from the frustration or the pain at this point. How could I genuinely not remember any of this. Why did that fucker come back? I’d kill him my fucking self if I saw him again. I debated my options, but I realised I needed her to trust me.

“Y/N?” I asked.

“Hmmm?”

“Please don’t be mad-“ I started.

She pulled away slightly and I was left helpless under her scrutinising gaze. Her eyes daring me to continue.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you. And for that I apologise. But you have to understand I’ve been taught not to trust people, it was nothing personal.”

She grabbed my chin and forced me to look in the eyes.

“Just say what you have to say Kitten.” Her tone was cold and I should be used to it by now. But I hated being on the receiving end of it.

“I- I threatened Wendell a few weeks before the Gala. That’s why he attacked me.”

“How could you threaten an assassin? You’re just the flower girl.”

“I can do things… I can hurt people. And I told Wendell I’d hurt him, and I know it was stupid. I was just so angry and he wouldn’t leave me alone. When you and Vic follow me around, yeah it’s creepy, but I’ve grown used to it. But Wendell, I don’t know what he wants from me and I was scared. He found out about my family and he tried to black mail me.”

I figured she most have already known most of what I was saying. I mean you can’t stalk someone for months and not learn a few things they don’t want you to. But she seemed shocked at this revelation.

“Thank you for being honest with me. Is that all?”

Her hand tightened on my chin, almost threateningly.

“My brother came to visit this morning. But I sent him away. He’d kill me if he found out I was hanging out with Gotham’s most feared assassins. I promise I’ll explain more later, I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But right now I need a friend. Not a Gotham friend… a friend friend. I fucked up Y/N. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” I sobbed.

She seemed to believe me, because she pulled me into a hug. It was then I was suddenly aware of my lack of clothes again. Though it didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest. She wiped a tear from my eye.

“Never lie to me again Magnolia, do you understand me?”

I nodded.

“Use your words Kitten.”

“I swear to you Y/N, I will never lie to you or Victor ever again. I can’t afford to lose the two of you. Not now.”

She seemed satisfied with my answer, because a genuine smile crawled onto her face. It’s one she only ever give to Victor. She pulled back to asses my wounds and I felt small under her gaze. She reached out to touch above my left breast and I flinched back suddenly.

“Hmmm, seems like Wendell planned to frame Victor for this.” She said.

I scrunched my brows.

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a Z carved into that beautiful chest of your Dearie. Nice touch I must say. But nobodies dumb enough to fall for that. Wendell is so dead.”

I tried to process what she just said, but my brain was spiralling. She stood up to grab me a new towel but I just blinked up at her.

“Wait we’re you checking out my tits?” I asked bewildered.

“Would that be such a crime?” She responded flatly.

I rolled my eyes as she threw me a towel.

“Get cleaned up. Victor’s gonna want to see that you’re ok. And I’m sure Oswald would love your company.”

I glared up at her huffing. Y/N was gonna be the death of me.

An: now the real question is, will Y/N forgive her? And will Victor believe that Maggie truly doesn’t remember anything form the past week? We all know he already has his heart set on silencing the girl, though he won’t admit he’d feel kinda bad if he did. Ps, Y/N was in disguise when she came to visit.

[l-egionaire]

Owl House Fanfiction: I love The Found Family Trope!

Posted on Ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29417493

Eda had gotten used to a lot of different ways of waking up after her getting her curse.

The first few times it happened, she'd unfortunately routinely woken up to find herself naked. (Titan, was she grateful when she'd finally found a spell that made her clothes change with her and didn't have to keep dumpster diving or "borrowing" clothes)

Once that was taken care of, her post transformation wake ups were slightly more comfortable, if predictable. She'd come too laying on the ground, her body's usual aches, pains, and stiffness seemingly doubled to the point where she could barely move. If she was in someone's house she'd likely be surrounded by overturned furniture and fixtures all covered in claw and bite marks. If she was lucky any people that might've been there would've already run and hid. If she wasn't….well, she knew a good amount of healing magic and potions.  No matter how much damage she might have caused, most people wouldn't turn down having their injuries taken care of.

And after that, things changed. Even if the person she was living with didn't kick her out, she could still see how they acted differently. They avoided eye contact with her, didn't stay in the same room with her for longer than two seconds, and she couldn't help but notice how they always seemed to lock their doors at night, nevermind whether she'd taken her elixir or not. Needless to say, when that happened she was gone before a week even passed. Someone being afraid of her or thinking she was a freak she could handle. But she preferred that to them tiptoeing around it and pretending to be okay with her when they were secretly scared. 

Considering all of that, waking up safely in her nest with a bottle of elixir in her mouth was a new experience.

She wasn't that shocked once she'd gotten the whole story. She'd never explained what her elixir did to King, and Luz thinking it was some special magic boosting potion sounded just like her. But what really surprised her were their reactions. 

After making sure Hooty was put back up and okay, they'd come by to check on her. Luz, having worried she might not be feeling well, had brought her a bowl of some strange human concoction called "chicken soup" that she'd gotten from a can in her junk collection. ("It's no magic potion but my mom. always made me chicken soup when I wasn't feeling well.) She'd also gotten her a person sized pillow that had the image of some male human character with spiky hair on it and with a little work slid it beneath Eda in her nest. The thing may have looked weird but it was comfy as heck and felt great for her sore back. Meanwhile King, still looking regretful about snatching her elixir, had fixed her a mug of apple blood as a peace offering.

While the mixture of alcohol and salty human bird water helped soothe some of her pain, Eda couldn't help but notice her apprentice and her housemate still standing off to the side of her nest. Both of them simply stood and watched as she ate and drank, staying oddly silent and staring at her as if she might disappear mid slurp.

It was almost a little unnerving. She hadn't expected either of them to be this quiet after discovering her curse. She figured Luz would've had her usual million questions about anything magical while King would be demanding to know why she hadn't told him before now. 

Then again, it wouldn't surprise her if they were still too in shock. After all, while she had never been able to witness it herself, she knew her cursed form could be pretty terrifying to see. One person she'd lived with had been so freaked out by it, he hadn't been able to make any noise except terrified squeaks for 3 days.

Plus, the way they found out was pretty sudden. Sure, King shouldn't have stolen her elixir but it wasn't like he knew what it was for or why she took it. In fact, a part of her hoped he'd never find out.

But the cat was off the staff now. She knew that the two of them must still be curious, otherwise they wouldn't still be there. So it was time to witch up and deal with it.

Eda drank the last few dregs of soup from her bowl and drained the rest of her apple blood for a little courage before turning to King and Luz.

"Alright you two. I know you probably want to know more about all this. So, let's have it."

Luz and King took a moment to look at each other, almost seeming to have a full conversation in two seconds before turning back to her.

"No thanks." Luz said.

"Yeah, we're good." King agreed.

Eda blinked in confusion. "What? What do you mean?"

"We don't need to know anymore." Luz explained. "This whole curse thing seems kind of personal and besides you already told us all the important parts. So we don't need to know anything else."

Eda stared at her in stunned silence. She looked to King and was even more surprised to see him nod in agreement.

To say this was not what she'd been expecting would be an understatement.  Where was the yelling at her for putting them in danger? The demanding answers? The blaming her for not telling them about her curse before all this? Heck, the two of them didn't even look that upset. They just still had those weirdly concerned looks on their faces. Maybe they just worried she'd still be mad about them stealing her elixir and were too scared to bring it up.

But that brought another issue to mind. And while she might have become pretty fond of those two, she knew it would only be a matter of time until it came up.

Ignoring the tight feeling in her chest, Eda said slowly. "Listen…..if you guys want to find somewhere else to stay, I understand."

They both became bug eyed.

"What?!" Luz cried.

"What are you talking about?!" King asked.

Eda looked away from them, doing everything she could to keep the wetness in her eyes from turning into full blown tears.

Suck it up. She thought. It's not like you haven't done this before.

"Luz, you could probably see if one of those Hexside kids might be willing to let you stay with them, and King I-."

"You're kicking us out?!" Luz yelled.

"No!" King scrambled into the nest, got onto his knees  and clasped his paws together. "Please Eda, don't!  I'll never be able to find anyone else willing to  let me live with them without paying! If this is about stealing the elixir, I'm sorry! I swear I won't steal anything you don't tell me to!" 

Eda frowned in confusion and turned back to them. "What? No. I mean, yes King, if you steal from me again I'll turn you into a tiny fur rug, but I just meant….you guys really don't want to move out?"

They both looked shocked at her question. "No." "Why would we?"

"Why would- how about  because I could have killed you two last night?" She felt bile begin to build in her throat and not the magical kind. "I could have eaten one of you like I did the snaggleback!"

"Oh come on Eda, it wasn't that-."

"Luz." Eda said, her voice hard. She didn't have it in her right now to deal with Luz sunshine attitude.

Luz must have noticed because she sighed and said. "Okay, look Eda. I'm not going to lie and say that today wasn't terrifying or that I wasn't afraid but….Eda, once I realized that the monster that was chasing after us was you? All I could think about was how I could help or what I could do to get you back. I didn't want to lose you."

Eda stared at her apprentice in complete shock. In her past talks with her living mates after they discovered her curse, they always talked about them . Their safety, their terror at her transformation, their discomfort at having Eda stay around after what happened. But Luz was thinking about her and whether she was okay.

It felt….weird. But in a good way. Kind of like a lot of things Luz did come to think of it.

Eda looked down to where King was still sitting in her nest. "And what about you King? You aren't freaked out by my little secret?"

King shrugged. "Eh, at first it was horrifying but after thinking about, its actually pretty cool. You're a demon just like me! Which technically makes you one of my subjects!"

Eda rolled her eyes. Typical King.

"And, since you are one of my subjects…."

"King, I swear to Titan, if you-."

".....than, that also means you fall under my protection." King finished. He walked over to Eda, climbed into her lap where he curled up into a ball. "If anyone wants to hurt you, they'll first have to go through me!"

Eda couldn't hide the amazement on her face as she gazed down at King. Then she felt something softly touch her shoulder. She looked over and saw Luz had placed a hand on her and was giving her a loving look.

"We're not going anywhere Eda. Us weirdos have to stick together, remember?"

Eda couldn't believe what she was hearing. Even after they both spent the night being terrorized by her and knew about her curse, they still insisted on sticking around.

They weren't going to leave her.

Luz suddenly frowned and looked at her worriedly. "Hey, what's wrong?"

It took Eda a moment to realize that there was a tear streaming down her face. She quickly wiped it away.

"Uh, no Luz, I just, uh, really loved that soup you brought me. There any chance there's some more?"

"I'll go dig through trash for another can!" Luz excitedly sprinted out the door.

Eda looked down at King. "Would my so-called "King" be willing to fix his new subject another apple blood?"

King stood up from her lap and stretched. "I suppose its what any humble ruler would do for his wounded subject." King took her mug and scrambled out of her nest and out the door.

Eda sighed fondly and layed back on her spiky hair human pillow, taking in the sight of the many light orbs that now dotted her ceiling thanks to her apprentice.

We're not going anywhere Eda.

If anyone wants to hurt you, they'll first have to go through me

Eda chuckled. "Thanks you two

[obtusemedia]

Ranking Lady Gaga's albums, from worst to best

Being a Lady Gaga fan can be an exercise in frustration.

Gaga is far more ambitious than most popstars — I doubt we’ll ever see Ariana Grande or Ed Sheeran make an album as left-field as Born This Way or ARTPOP. But she's also far less consistent, with numerous misbegotten projects.

Gaga's undeniably successful, with five #1 hits, an Oscar and multiple iconic music videos to her name. But her messy album rollouts and tradition of underperforming lead singles make her feel like an underdog compared to the more polished, precise careers of her contemporaries like Taylor Swift, Beyoncé or Bruno Mars.

Gaga is kind of a mess. But she's our mess. This album ranking will cover some records I can't stand — albums that make me constantly hit the fast-forward button, or albums I ignore altogether. But there isn't a single record on here that wasn't a bold move. Even the "back to basics" albums made strong aesthetic choices.

So let's dive into the career of the most fascinating Millennial popstar.

#8: Cheek To Cheek (2014)

This really shouldn't count. It's a Lady Gaga album in name only. But, technically it's a Gaga album, so here we are.

I've got nothing against Gaga having fun playing Rat Pack-era dress-up with Tony Bennett. She's a theatre kid at heart, and I'm sure every theatre kid would kill to make a Great American Songbook covers record like this. It sounds like she and Tony enjoyed themselves, so I'm happy for them!

...but I'm sorry. I can't be objective about Cheek To Cheek, it's the opposite of my taste. There's only so many bland lounge ballads I can take.

BEST SONGS: I have to pick one? "Anything Goes" is cute, I guess.

WORST SONG: "Sophisticated Lady"

#7: A Star Is Born (2018)

Let me first make this clear — A Star Is Born, the movie starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga? It's a masterpiece. It's electrifying and tragic and I'm still upset it didn't sweep the Oscars that year. There's even a cute dog! You won't hear me say a bad word about it.

But A Star Is Born, the accompanying soundtrack? It's extremely hit-and-miss.

Yes, it includes arguably Gaga's best-ever song and one of the greatest movie hits ever written, "Shallow." And there's plenty of other great tunes in the tracklist too — "Always Remember Us This Way," "I'll Never Love Again," the "La Vie En Rose" cover.

Even the country-rock songs from Bradley Cooper (who, reminder, is not a professional singer) are mostly good! "Black Eyes" RIPS, and "Maybe It's Time" feels like a long-lost classic.

But sadly, there are so many mediocre filler tracks on this thing. The second half of A Star Is Born's hour-plus runtime (Gaga's longest!) is padded with generic songs like "Look What I've Found," "Heal Me" and "I Don't Know What Love Is." The only good one out of the bunch is the silly, intentionally-bad "Why Did You Do That?"

In the movie, these filler tracks serve a point – they're meant to show Gaga's character selling out. They work in the movie when you hear them for a few seconds and see Cooper make a drunkly disappointed scowl. But I don't want to listen to them, and sadly, they make up half the album.

In other words — A Star Is Born would've made an incredible six or seven-song EP. But as an 63-minute-long record? It's a slog.

BEST SONGS: "Shallow", "Always Remember Us This Way," "Maybe It's Time"

WORST SONG: "Heal Me"

#6: Joanne (2016)

After Born This Way and ARTPOP, I get why Gaga needed to make a more lowkey, back-to-basics album. I also understand that many of these songs have extremely personal lyrics for her.

But is a down-to-earth album what I really want from our most outré popstar? Not really.

Luckily, Joanne is better than that description suggests. Yes, there are some bland acoustic ballads and awkward hippie-era throwbacks (two styles that are really not in Gaga's wheelhouse), but there's also some Springsteen-style heartland rockers! And those go hard in the paint.

Joanne works best when Gaga works the record's dusty aesthetics into her brand of weirdo pop, like on the sizzling "John Wayne," the winking "A-YO" or the delightfully extra Florence Welch duet "Hey Girl."

The record also has "Perfect Illusion" — a glorious red herring of a lead single that sounds nothing like anything else on Joanne. It's a roided-up mixture of woozy Tame Impala production and hair metal histrionics, and it rules. It might be Gaga's best-ever lead single! (at the very least, it's her most underrated.)

And there is one slow tune that's unambiguously great: "Million Reasons," another solid Gaga lighters-in-the-air power ballad pastiche.

Despite what some Little Monsters may tell you, Joanne isn't a disaster. There's some great stuff in there, and even the worst songs are just forgettable. But it's still far from her best.

BEST SONGS: "Perfect Illusion," "Diamond Heart," "Million Reasons"

WORST SONG: "Come To Mama"

#5: Chromatica (2020)

When Chromatica was released near the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, it had been seven years since Gaga had released music in her classic gonzo-synthpop vein. I can easily picture the record serving as an "ugh fine, I'll give you what you want" response to the many Little Monsters annoyed with Gaga's half-decade of folksy ballads and Julie Andrews cosplay.

I'll say this about Chromatica — outside of The Fame Monster, it's her most consistent record. There's not a single track that's a glaring mistake. And the three singles — "Stupid Love," "911" and the triumphant Ariana Grande duet "Rain On Me" — easily stand among her best tracks.

But although "all bangers, no ballads" album sounds rad in theory, it doesn't really succeed in practice. Chromatica is solid, but it's also a very same-y record. It feels like Gaga had one really great idea for the album ('90s club music with super-depressing lyrics) and repeated it over and over and over again to diminishing results.

There are some songs that are able to separate themselves: the three singles, of course, as well as the goofy "Babylon" and "Sine From Above," the Elton John duet that's the closest Chromatica gets to a ballad. But by the end of the album, you feel more worn out than electrified.

Also — and this is probably unfair, but still — Chromatica came out just a couple months after another retro-dance blockbuster pop album: Dua Lipa's magnum opus, Future Nostalgia. That's not a flattering comparison.

BEST SONGS: "Rain On Me," "Stupid Love," "911"

WORST SONG: "1000 Doves"

#4: The Fame (2008)

Out of all of Gaga's records, The Fame is most like a time capsule. It REEKS of late '00s/early '10s pop — which isn't an entirely fair criticism, seeing as Gaga popularized that era's sleazy, synthy aesthetic. It's also not a bad thing! I don't mind a little nostalgia!

As you already know, The Fame's singles are masterworks. "Just Dance," "Poker Face," "Paparazzi" — these tracks have titanic legacies for good reason. And although it's probably the least-beloved of this album's hits, despite being a total banger, "LoveGame" should still be commended for having arguably the most Gaga lyric ever (you know, the "disco stick" line).

And even though those tracks are front-loaded on The Fame, there are some gems deeper in the tracklist. "Summerboy" is basically Gwen Stefani covering The Strokes (so obviously, it's great). "Eh, Eh" is adorable. "Starstruck" is the most 2008 song ever recorded, with aggressive Auto-Tune and Flo Rida showing up to make Starbucks jokes.

Sadly, The Fame still feels like Gaga before she became fully-formed at certain points. The back half has a number of songs that feel like generic club tracks forced by the label, and "Paper Gangsta" is one of the clunkiest songs in Gaga's catalogue.

But at the very least, the bad songs on The Fame at least serve as little nostalgia bombs for that era of pop. And the best songs are untouchable classics.

BEST SONGS: "Paparazzi," "Just Dance," "Summerboy"

WORST SONG: "Paper Gangsta"

#3: ARTPOP (2013)

For much of Gaga's career, she's been ahead of the curve. She tries something, and a year or a few years later, other popstars try something similar to diminishing results.

That doesn't just apply to the successful stuff, like Gaga's extravagant music videos inspiring many copycats from 2010-2013. It also applies to the mid-late '10s trend of legacy popstars making a controversial record with risky aesthetic or lyrical choices that backfired: reputation. Witness. Man of The Woods.

Gaga did this first, with ARTPOP — arguably the most abrasive, and bizzare major label album released by a major modern popstar. And she did it better, because unlike Swift, Perry and Timberlake, Gaga's weirdness was for real. And it was in service of some prime, hyper-aggressive bangers.

ARTPOP isn't Gaga's best work — some of her experiments on it are major misfires, from the obnoxious "Mary Jane Holland" to the bland Born This Way leftover (and Romani slur-utilizing) "Gypsy."

But when ARTPOP is on, it's ON. The opening stretch in particular, from "Aura" to "Venus" to "G.U.Y." to "Sexxx Dreams," is chaotic synthpop at its finest. Those songs took Gaga's classic sound to an apocalyptic, demented extreme, and they're fantastic.

"MANiCURE" is a great glam-rock banger, "Dope" is another classic Gaga piano ballad, the title track is some sikly-smooth dreampop; even the misguided, clunky trap anthem "Jewels N' Drugs" is bad in a hilarious, charming way!

Trust me: ARTPOP will go down in history not as a flop, but as a gutsy, underrated record from a legend. Less Witness, more In Utero.

BEST SONGS: "G.U.Y.," "Venus," "Sexxx Dreams"

WORST SONG: "Gypsy"

#2: The Fame Monster (2009)

Objectively speaking, this is probably the best Gaga album.

It's her one record with no fluff, no filler — only 34 minutes and 8 tracks, all of them stellar.

It's the record that took Gaga from "wow, this new woman is a fresh new face in pop!" to "this woman IS pop."

It's the record with her signature track, "Bad Romance," which was accompanied by arguably the greatest music video of the 21st Century. (It also has my absolute favorite Gaga track, the relentlessly catchy "Telephone.")

I don't think I need to explain what makes mega-smashes "Bad Romance" and "Telephone" and "Alejandro" great, nor the accompanying legendary deep cuts "Speechless" and "Dance In The Dark." They speak for themselves.

However — the sleek, calculated perfection of The Fame Monster, while incredible, isn't something I return to often. It's just not the side of Gaga that's my favorite. That honor would have to go to...

BEST SONGS: "Telephone," "Dance In The Dark," "Bad Romance"

WORST SONG: "So Happy I Could Die" (but it's still pretty solid)

#1: Born This Way (2011)

One of my favorite podcasts is Blank Check. The concept of the show is to analyze each movie by a famous director — in particular, those who had big success early on and then got a blank check to make whatever crazy passion project they wanted. Here's a great example: because Batman was a massive hit, Tim Burton got to make whatever Hot Topic-core movies he wanted to for decades, from Edward Scissorhands to a creepy Willy Wonka remake.

That long-winded tangent is just to say: Born This Way was Lady Gaga's blank check. By early 2011, she had conquered the pop universe, notching hit after hit after hit. Every other pop star was copying her quirky music videos. So the label let Gaga do whatever she wanted — and she didn't waste that opportunity.

Born This Way is wildly overproduced. It's both extremely trend-chasing (those synths were cutting edge at the time but charmingly dated now), but also deeply uncaring about what the teens want (I don't think Springsteen and Queen homages were big at the time). And I love every messy, overblown second of it.

From the hair-metal/synthpop hybrid opener "Marry The Night" to the majestic '80s power ballad "The Edge of Glory," Born This Way starts at an 11. And Gaga never takes her foot off the pedal for the album's entire hour-plus run time. Clanging electric guitars, thunderous synths and Clarence Clemons (!!!) sax solos collide into each other as Gaga champions every misfit and loser in the world. It's gloriously corny in the best way possible.

Born This Way is also the perfect middle ground of pop-savvy Gaga and gonzo Gaga. It doesn't go quite as hard as ARTPOP, but the hooks are stronger. And the oddball moments are tons of fun, from the sci-fi biker anthem "Highway Unicorn" to the goofy presidential-sex banger "Government Hooker" ("Put your hands on me/John F. Kennedy" might be the greatest line in pop history).

Born This Way will always be my favorite Gaga album. It's armed with nuclear-grade hooks, slamming beats, and soaring anthems. Although it's not as untouchably pristine as the Mt. Rushmore of '10s pop classics (for the record, that's 1989, EMOTION, Lemonade and, of course, Melodrama), Gaga isn't best served by meticulousness. She's proudly tacky and histrionic, and so that's what makes Born This Way an utter joy.

BEST SONGS: "The Edge of Glory," "You and I," "Marry The Night"

WORST SONG: "Bloody Mary"

[hqprotectionsquad]

𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒊'𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 - 𝒃𝒐𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖

⤷ 𝒉𝒆'𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒆𝒇𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕. ⤷ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒋𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒚 𝒛𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒊'𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 ⤷ 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

word count: 1541

college!reader x pro volleyball player!bokuto

“Hey, what are you doing tonight?” You aren’t a stranger to Koutarou’s unexpected phone calls. For anyone else, you’ll put them on silent, but for your best friend? He’s got his own ringtone. 

That self-indulgent weirdo set it to his own voice saying “hey, hey, hey,” as if he doesn’t hear himself yell that enough when he’s in his volleyball matches.

You shift the phone from one ear to another, as you fold clean laundry. “Nothing, why?”

“I’ll come over,” his hopeful voice resounds.

“You go to school an hour away by train. You know you’re crazy, right?” You say this, but you already know he’s on his way to the station to buy his ticket.

“Crazy for you, yeah.” No matter what, your cheeks will always flare up whenever he says some cheesy line that goes straight for the arteries. It’s like he’s trying to stop your heart or something like that.

“Shut up,” you pause to laugh. “I’ll see you later.”

You set your phone off to the side and continue folding the clothes that lie on your bed. He’s been the same since high school. His ear is attached to his phone. Had he not been training to become a professional volleyball player, you were sure that he’d love the opportunity to be a broadcaster or really anything that would suit his overflowing charisma. He uses that charisma to get the crowd on its feet at volleyball games, but outside of the court, he’s constantly calling other people. It’s weird because, in a time where people prefer digital words over voices from a distance, Koutarou is steadfast.

You don’t usually pick up your phone, and he knows that. Most of the time, you’re studying for an upcoming exam, even if it’s a week and a half in the future. Koutarou seems like he’s got too much time on his hands even though he’s taking a full course load of classes. Whenever you’re heard on the other end, he takes it as a win. You’re a train ride away, two hours of commuting in total, but you’re worth it, says Bokuto.

There’s a nagging sensation in your head, knowing he must be only talking to you because Akaashi has plans with whomever tonight, as he says he does on Fridays. (Even that seems a bit far-fetched, but you know that he is working his way to becoming a butterfly since college has begun.) He must be doing this for pity, considering your lack of response most of the time. Well, is it really your fault that you’re prioritizing your education?

You’re thankful for him though. Without him, you don’t really know who else would check up on you.

Soon enough, he’s texting you to buzz him into the building and you meet him by the door, grinning when you see that owl face on the other side of the glass.

“I told you to just buzz me in! There’s no need for you to come down!” He exclaims when you open the door for him, shifting so he can get inside.

“Kind of looks like you need help, what’s this all for?” You eye the paper and plastic bags he holds in the crook of his arms and the handles of some between his fingers. You can’t even properly give him a hug because of all of the bags. You reach for the ones in his arms and he takes a step back with a laugh.

“Just things for you, and since they are for you, there is no need for you to help me out.”

By the time you're fiddling for your keys in your pocket in front of your dorm room, Bokuto is itching to reveal what he's bright for you. He keeps fidgeting when you wiggle the key into the slot and finally, you get it.

“What are you so excited to show me, ‘Tarou?”

He dumps the contents of each bag on top of your bed with the largest smile. Piles of junk food form stiff peaks and you can't help but to laugh. “Is that ice cream?”

“Yeah, I kind of forgot about that,” he mentions as he scratches his head. “It should still be okay.” He opens the fridge as if it’s his own and stashes the two pints to freeze. “We’re having a movie night!”

“Aw, Bo,” you slip your arms around his waist to settle into a hug and look up at him, “thank you.”

Bokuto grins, but he soon covers his mouth with his hand. His cheeks are beginning to flood with color and gosh, that's embarrassing right now. “Don't thank me yet, we haven't started the movie.”

“You know, are you even allowed to eat any of these things? They've got, like, a thousand calories and preservatives.” You're undeterred when Bokuto lets go first to reach for a plastic-wrapped melon pan.

“Well, what they don't know doesn't hurt them!”

“It’ll hurt your body when you have practice,” you wonder out loud and Bokuto shushes you, with a finger perpendicular to his lips.

“No need to say anything like that.” Bokuto’s not planning to eat the whole convenience store, but he’d be lying if he wasn't going to eat part of it. Still with the melon pan in one hand, he opens one of the bags of chips, sighing with delight once he pops one of the chips into his mouth. He hardly gets the chance to indulge, but for you, he guesses he’ll have to make an exception. Just for you, of course.

He’s on your bed, shoving snacks to one side so you both can sit on the other. After digging through your closet, you throw a blanket into his face and you can hear the mumbles of his gratitude. “Sorry.” 

“Sure you were sorry.” Bokuto sticks a tongue out as he stretches the fabric across his body and waves you over. “Hurry up, (Y/N). I brought us Big Hero Six.”

“Again?” You slide in real close, just like you always do. “You know that you cry every time Tadashi dies—”

“(Y/N), you always have to spoil it!”

“We’ve watched it together at least four times. God knows how many times you’ve watched it in total.” Your eyes roll along with your statement. “Okay, start it up.”

Bokuto hits a button on the remote that begins unveiling the opening credits. It’s an incredibly small screen, and you’re sure Bokuto has a larger TV at his own house, but he loves being with you at your dorm. He says it’s something that reminds him of a separate life he could’ve had. He’s already living the Disney life that anyone wishes for — a place on a volleyball team in one of the top leagues of Japan, something he’s wanted since he was born — yet he yearns for a life everyone has. He wants a regular college experience, but to him, college will be a piece of paper declaring his knowledge on a subject. It won't mean much when he's on the court. You bet his only reason for being in college is to use the gym, even though he trains with his professional team as well.

You meld into one body, your arms hang on his torso and your head on his shoulder. His arm snakes around your shoulders and squeezes you tight to him. Is it weird that you do this with your best friend? It’s never not been like this.

“Bo, can I talk to you?”

“But Hiro’s about to go to San Fransokyo Institute of Technology with Tadashi.” He pouts when he looks down at you. He presses the pause button and turns to you, taking your hand in his. “Alright, alright. What’s wrong, (Y/N)?”

“Why do you assume something’s wrong?”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be wrong. I’m just guessing! By your tone of voice.” There’s a smile on his face that is so bright. You can’t help but to feel happy when you see him.

“Koutarou, why do you bother to hang out with me and text me, when I barely do the same thing?” You leave your hand in his grasp, wondering what would happen if you placed it back into your lap.

“You know you’re one of my best friends, right?” Bokuto chuckles. “I go through the bothering because I care too much to let you go. You’re one of my favorite people, I don’t care if you won’t speak to me on your own. I’ll keep trying for the both of us.” He plants a kiss on your forehead.

“Thank you, Bo. I’ll try harder.”

“You don’t have to, not if you don’t want to. But the idea of you trying warms my heart.” He lets go of your hand to clutch at his chest dramatically. A hand sails to his shoulder. “Hey, what did you have to hit me for?” He yelps.

“Shut up, let’s watch the movie.” And you can’t help but to grin with a happy sigh as you settle back into Bokuto’s embrace. This is a moment you’ll remember forever and you’ll keep on wishing on the stars for Bokuto. He deserves all the wishes because he shines brighter than the stars themselves.

[radiorenjun]

Lavender Antics.

→ Pairing: Han Jisung X Reader

→ Summary: Shooting in a drama with him was your absolute nightmare. Working with your enemy and pretending that you were love interests has been the most frustrating experience of your life. Though, after saying your farewells, the scent of lavender never leaves.

→ Genre:enemies to lovers au, idol au, romance, angst, slowburn.

→ Warnings: Very hurtful words. Antics. Mentions of insecurity. Alcohol, Swearing, Making out. Suggestive?

→ Word Count:

→ Chapters: 1, 2, 3

You tucked your phone in your pocket as you entered the dance studio to be greeted by your group members stretching and warming up. "Hey y/n!" they greeted in unison, making you smile at how their cheerful aura greeted your exhausted figure. "Hi," you replied shortly, dropping your dufflebag near theirs on the floor.

"How was filming?" Jaehwa asked, letting out a groan when Haneul pushed her back down as she did a split. "The usuals: Jeongin being a crackhead, the director shoving it into our faces that we're going to Tokyo, that donkey being insufferable. Same as always," you chuckle, joining them as you stretched your arms.

"Oh yeah! I forgot you're leaving for Tokyo soon. When are you going again?" Cheonsa exclaimed, massaging her ankles. "Honestly, first Cheonsa was on hiatus. Now you're on hiatus just for some drama film?" Jaehwa chuckled. You rolled your eyes at Kiyeon before answering Cheonsa's question, "Im leaving in two days. I'll be out of your hair for a whole month so enjoy it while you can," you joked.

"Believe me, I know I will." Kiyeon responded, taking a sip of her caffeine. "Oh hush, you'll miss me when I leave." you snickered as you hit her shoulder playfully. "Since you're leaving your dearest best friends behind for some dick, you better treat us to something tomorrow." Cheonsa exclaimed.

"I want steak!" she added with a bright smile. You lifted your fist as if you were gonna punch her, sucking your lip into your mouth as you growled out. "Why you lil-" Jaehwa sat up from her split and patted your thigh, "don't kill anyone just yet, y/n. You still have alot to live for. Plus I don't wanna be the one getting you out of prison," she sighed.

"Cheonsa's not wrong though. You should treat us to something before you leave," Haneul nodded in agreement, making Cheonsa let out a victory cheer at her statement. "I agree. Last time, y'all completely ditched me in that restaurant leaving me to pay that tremendous bill when you all said we were gonna split it!" Kiyeon grumbled.

"It was all planned, by the way." you smirked with a chuckle. "It was Cheonsa's idea for a prank, too." Jaehwa smiled with a nod. Kiyeon glared at our leader who was giving her an innocent peace sign. "Man, I'm really gonna miss you guys when I'm in Tokyo." you sighed, laying your cheek on your palm as your elbow stood on your thighs.

"Of course you will, you can't live without us." Kiyeon chuckled, giving a soft punch to your shoulder. "And Im leaving," you pretended to stand up as the girls chuckled at your reaction. You giggled as you retreated to your former position. "Man, who am I going to talk to in Tokyo when you idiots aren't there?" you whined.

"Yang Jeongin? Or that makeup artist, she looks really nice when I came to visit you on set." Haneul suggested. "Stop acting as if it's the end of the world, you fucking drama queens. Video chatting and texting exists, too, you know." Jaehwa patted your back. You smiled softly at your friends.

"Wait, you're saying that y/n isn't going to die? Damn, I made a whole song and funeral and everything." Cheonsa said in a sardonic tone, causing the whole group to laugh. "You wish. You're stuck with me, get used to it." you wrapped your arm around her shoulder and pulled her to a side hug.

"I really hope our contract ends soon." Cheonsa uttered jokingly. "Very funny," you rolled your eyes with a smile on your face. "By the way, have you heard that Chen-sunbaenim is getting married?" Haneul gossiped in a dramatically posh-popular girl tone. "Oh my god, what? Ugh, I can't believe some girl took away my sunbae," you mocked her tone.

"Isn't Sehun your bias, though?" Kiyeon laughed. You nodded with a laugh, dropping the whole fancy act, "though, it wasn't a surprise, really. I mean, whenever I walk by there's always this girl he keeps hanging out with, I'm guessing that's her." you informed.

"Can't believe we're gossiping bout our seniors." Jaehwa shook her head with a chuckle. "What? It's already made public, it's basically the trending topic of the hour. I hope I get invited though, I wanna see my childhood idol get married. God, we're becoming old, girls!" Cheonsa whined, flapping her hands aimlessly.

"You're becoming old, that is. I'm still younger than you," you teased. "Oh hush, just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean I'm getting old for fucks sake. You're probably gonna date that Jisung guy in the future, just wait and see." she tutted with a point of her finger. You pretended to gag, laying a palm on your chest as you stuck your tongue out in disgust. "No thank you," you croaked dramatically.

"I rather date, Shrek, himself than that stubborn cheesecake stealing donkey." you clenched your jaw angrily. "You know, he's not that bad. From what I see in interviews, he looks like a really nice guy to hang out with," Kiyeon shrugged, taking her coffee cup to her lips.

"That is, if he doesn't hate you for no absolute reason!" you exclaimed, flailing your hands up dramatically. "Well, it seems like you hate him too so you're both in the wrong." she smirked. "I do hate him, if that wasn't clear. But he started it first! If he wasn't such a dick then maybe I would've considered him a friend!" you huffed.

"You're being over dramatic. What did he do that was so bad to make you hate him anyways?" Jaehwa rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh. You paused, recalling the unpleasant memory, "I don't wanna talk about that." you mumbled, looking at your hands.

"Jesus Fucking Christ," Kiyeon grumbled. "Shouldn't we practice?" she asked. "We should, but we really need a break so let's just slack off for a while and get back to practise in a couple of minutes." Haneul suggested. Cheonsa was about to retort when her phone rang, her face lit up at the sight.

"The bf is calling, do what you want. But when I get back, be prepared to be trained hard vocally and physically." she chuckled, walking out of the room with her phone vibrating like crazy in hand. As the door swung shut, there was a peaceful yet awkward moment of silence. "So what now?" you asked.

"Have you packed yet?" Haneul asked, ignoring your question. You scratched your head at the thought, "kinda, but most of my clothes that I already packed are just sweaters and shorts." you shrugged. "I'll help you pack once we get back to the dorm, you always under pack and borrow my clothes or shop for really tacky ones in supermarket stores." Jaehwa laughed.

"Oh hush, I just like wearing comfy clothes!" you chuckled. "Unfortunately for you, comfy clothes isn't an option for this comeback." she grinned with a snap, causing you to roll your eyes at her statement. "Shut up," you groaned.

The door opened slightly, attracting your attention as Cheonsa's head poked through. "Hey girls, I'm about to go to the other dance studios real quick, alright?" she informed with an excited smile before exiting the room once again, grabbing her waterbottle in the process without letting any of us respond to her.

"Appointing her as our leader was the number one worst mistakes of our careers," you announced aloud, causing the girls to laugh and nod in agreement. "Couldn't agree more, y/n. Couldnt agree more," Jaehwa laughed.

A few seconds later, the door opened once again and Cheonsa's head poked into the room. "By the way, you're really gonna treat us to food right?" she grinned with a hopeful and teasing glint in her expression. You chuckled, waving your hand to dismiss her as she laughed and exit the door.

"Guys, is that really necessary?" you chuckled, looking at your members after you checked if your passport and ticket was there. Your members had thoughtfully decided to drop you off at the airport, while wearing unessecary disguises such as a Mona Lisa costume, a moustached detective, Dwayne Johnson's face duct taped to a clown mask and Oli London's face carved from cardboard.

"Yes it is. It's important for us to not be recognized by the public and drop our little y/n off to school." Kiyeon responded, shamelessly fidgeting with her detective hat. "If you guys are gonna walk out looking like that, not only y'all are gonna get recognized by the people, you'll also embarrass me and cause more drama online!" you laughed, crossing your arms as you entered the airport gate.

"Hush, I'm parking the car. You don't want me to make this long and miss your flight do you?" Cheonsa gave you the stink eye through the rearview mirror, gazing at your through her long wig. "Honestly, y'all are gonna be accused as weirdos and get escorted out." you pursed your lips as the car stopped.

"What's so wrong bout wanting to drop off our member?" Jaehwa asked, nudging your shoulder as she shifted her Oli London mask back on to cover her face. "Thank you for the ride," you rolled your eyes and stepped out of the vehicle, quickly grabbing your suitcases and running off before your members could spot you.

As you ran, you lifted your phone to call your manager, informing him where you are. "I'm in the station already, where are you?" you asked, looking around as it was almost 10 minutes til boarding time. "You what?" you gaped at your managers response.

"Hey ugly!" a familiar voice yelled through the crowded room. You winced at the sound of the voice and chuckled nervously at your manager, "you couldn't just come here yourself?" you exclaimed nervously. "Right, you have to check on the other staff." you nodded before rubbing the space inbetween your eyes, ignoring the voice yelling your name behind you that was getting louder and louder.

"Hey ugly!" Jisung exclaimed, showing his pearly white teeth as he layed a hand on your shoulder. You glared at him, giving him the stink eye at the nickname which caused him to chuckle. He has been calling you thathighly insultive nickname since that scene you had to do with you being pushed to a puddle of mud, smearing your face in it.

Playing the role of the bullied popular girl has never been so tough when Jisung became your real life bully. "Hello donkey," you spat as your manager spoke his last words bout checking the VIP tickets and hanging up without giving you a second to reason with him.

"Im here to pick you up!" he chuckled, his heart shaped lips forming a bright smile that never left his face. You shuddered before gripping the handle of your suitcase tightly, "I am very much aware, thank you very much." you answered with a shaky breath.

"Let me help you with your suitcase," his hand reached to grab one or your suitcase which you slapped away due to your suspicion. "I don't trust you enough with my suitcase, who knows you might leave it here when we board." You said with a raise of your eyebrow.

He frowned at your words, his lips forming a scowl before he rolled his eyes. "I was just trying to be nice, sheesh, don't need to be a bitch about it." he shot back, pulling the straps of his backpack to his shoulder before leading you forward to where the rest of the cast were sitting.

You felt his hand hit your back gently, you flinched at the contact looking back at him as you cursed in response. "What the fuck was that for?" you exclaimed, looking back at Jisung. Jisung just looked at you with an unbothered expression, "Chill out, Ms.Y/n. I'm being nice here, there was a bug on your back and I took care of it for you," he rolled his eyes.

"You're welcome." He smirked, crossing his arms as you glared at him suspiciously before sitting down with a nod. You continued to speak with your co-worker, Yeoreum, who was playing the role of your bully. Despite her role, she's an absolute sweetheart.

"I see you and Jisung are bickering, once again." Yeoreum smirked, offering you a lollipop which you happily accepted. "Im not surprised anymore, it's become a daily routine now." you sighed, sipping your lemon tea. "Your members didn't come to say goodbye?" she asked, "I wanted to see them before we leave."

"Trust me, they did. They dropped me off and dressed up as if tonight's Halloween or something. But to be honest, if I didn't leave them alone I would've been bombarded with more paparazzis than I was three minutes ago," you chuckled, showing her a picture of them with their ridiculous costumes on your phone.

She burst out laughing, grabbing your phone in her hands. "When we arrived at the hotel, we're definitely video chatting them to see if they still have those ridiculous outfits on, right?" she smirked. "I don't know... Im probably gonna feel to tired to even open my eyes," you joked, earning a strong push from her.

"Y/n!" she whined, shaking your figure vigorously. Jeongin groaned, feeling interrupted from his game. "Director-nim! Yeoreum is bullying me!" you laughed, whining playfully. "Would you guys shut up, you're distracting us from our game!" Jisung complained as he tried to focus what's happening on the screen of the Nintendo Switch before him.

"Shut up, donkey." you chuckled as you lined up for the VIP section of the plane. You heard Jisung snickering behind you, only to be smacked by a disappointed Jeongin who was shaking his head in disapproval. "Honestly, why are you like this?" he mumbled.

"Shut up," Jisung laughed, nudging his friend as you continued to walk towards your seat, subtly giving him a look filled with suspicion. "What's wrong with him?" you muttered to yourself, sucking your lollipop as you sat down next to one of the staff who was already fast asleep.

You plucked in your earphones and fidget in your seat to get into a comfortable position, you turned on your favorite playlist and relaxed in your seat, drifting off to sleep in a matter of minutes.

You stretched as you exited the plane and entered the airport, reuniting with the rest of the cast. Jisung was giggling behind you despite his tired eyes boring into yours. You raised your brow, "what are you laughing bout?" you asked with a croaky voice.

"It's 2 in the morning, what could you possibly be laughing bout?" you repeated in a cranky tone. He giggled before shaking his head at you, continuing to grab his suitcases. You huffed at the peculiar boy giggling away infront of you, rubbing your eyes to try and wake yourself up a lil bit more til you arrive at the hotel.

"Hey y/n. Is that sign on your back always there?" Yeoreum asked, dragging her suitcase behind her, pointing at your back. Your eyes widened as your arms quickly reach to venture your back, feeling a piece of paper taped to the fabric of your hoodie.

You gripped it and pulled it away from your hoodie, taking a closer look at the slightly crumpled paper. "What the fuck?" you whispered under your breathe almost inaudibly. Written in bold letters was a big 'KICK ME' in an oh-too familiar handwriting.

You growled, crumpling the piece of paper and tossing it into a garbage bin. "Han Jisung, I am going to slaughter you!" you exclaimed, running up to him who surprisingly ran for his life. Due to your lack of sleep, you were a little slower than him so you gave up.

You spotted him hiding behind his manager, his head poking out. He looked at you with eyes wide awake, grinning like the cheeky bastard he is, you raised a fist at him. He stuck his tongue out playfully at your small threat. You raised a middle finger at him in response.

"Alright then, once the bus to the hotel arrives, sleep as much as you can. We're going to start filming late this noon til midnight, so get all the rest you can." the director announce with a yawn, going through the files and looking at his wrist watch.

The whole staff groaned including you who was checking your phone, notifying your parents and members bout your safety. "I take it back, I'm gonna be sleeping like a pig for the next ten hours" you groaned at your costar. "Geez, weak." Jisung chuckled before yawning into his mouth.

"Im sorry, Mr donkey. I didn't order a glass of your opinion," you rolled your eyes at him. As the bus came to a stop infront of you, you yawned taking the first step with Jisung half asleep beside you. You chuckled to yourself at the sight of the older boy yawning and rubbing his sleepy eyes.

This was going to be a long month.