#it's just crazy bc i know i should be soo grateful (& i am!!) & i actually have evidence real ppl find me attractive + im not just like.

[l-cereta]

thinking 'when will it be my turn' when it very literally quite recently was my turn... even tho ive already been blessed to have ppl in my life who treated me (ME!!) kindly i still have the audacity to yearn... idk if i'd ever be satisfied

[at1stsoo]

Recap of last year’s fics

It’s time to reflect on last year, which was my second calendar year for writing but my first full year, so here’s a fic meme rundown on my stories from 2017. (Fic links here will be for AFF, but I’ll link my ao3 account at the end for anyone who prefers that platform.)

Total stories published: *This depends on whether you’re looking on AFF or ao3. It’s 9 on AFF (where Orbiting Bodies is all together), 14 on ao3. And then I did 5 drabbles that were just on Twitter/Tumblr if those count?

Total Word Count: ~125k

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? Definitely more. I had embraced the idea of continuing to write for 2017, but I thought it’d be here and there, not so continuously?

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? All Kaisoo still, but I did write Xiuchen almost as equally in Sometimes, Legends Lie. I actually almost listed them as the primary pairing, haha, just to throw people off my trail in the Mythology fest, but the heart of the story is more Kaisoo (even if Xiuchen got equal ‘screen’ time). I’ve written Chanbaek as a side pairing, but that’s not new.

New genre: I’m out here writing mythology with world building requirements? Soulmate au? Action/Adventure? Basically anything that’s not slice of life, I’m still surprised I did it. What’s your own favorite story of the year? I think… I have to give the nod to Signal Lost (& Found). But I’m really proud of how I ventured out with Campaigning for Your Heart at the start of 2017, so I’ll mention that one, too. Did you take any writing risks this year? Lots? I hadn’t written much humor (a little near the end of Waxing & Waning), so Campaigning was a risk. Uhhhh also all the smut. Which I hadn’t tried wholeheartedly until Campaigning.

Runner up: Of Keepsakes and Kisses, but it got a lot of love during the Best Days of Our Lives fest on LJ. The most fun story to write: What the Nightingale Spies. It ended up being longer in the middle chapters than I’d planned bc I was having fun writing the flirting and the missions. And the reception has been great - I love laughing with you guys in the comments. The story with the single sexiest moment: Ch 12 of Orbiting Bodies (Jongin’s New Favorite Song) - the bathroom scene OR Campaigning for Your Heart - Soo using his fancy tie on Nini The most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: Uh… the epilogue of For Me, You’ll Always Be 18 was written right after New Year’s last year, so… yeah, that. The story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: Signal Lost (& Found). I didn’t know Kyungsoo’s character super well when I first outlined the story, since I was focused on Jongin’s POV and his journey. I kinda kept Nini’s mindset a lot in the beginning of writing that story, to try and capture his fears and doubts faithfully before letting myself 'learn/see’ Kyungsoo more clearly once they were ready to meet. The hardest story to write: What the Nightingale Spies. It was supposed to be my easy going, no stress writing project amid the fests. Ha. HA. But I’m very proud of what I’ve managed to do with it. The biggest disappointment: I don’t know that I have one? Maybe not spending as much time on my Orbiting Bodies chs as I 'should’ sometimes. I prioritize speed to churn those out in the moment when something Kaisoo happens, so I know the quality often isn’t there in the same way as much of my other writing. (But it’s really fun to fangirl with you all right as stuff happens!) The biggest surprise: That I’m even closer with my squad (that I met here on AFF thru reading/writing) than I was last year. That Indi is my fic wife and I get to beta just about everything of hers and she’s there for me, too, whenever I need her? How did I get so LUCKY?!? The most unintentionally telling story: Uh… What the Nightingale Spies is a pretty big ode to Kyungsoo’s voice, which I love. Favorite Opening Line(s): “Ayyyy, who left a sock in the fridge?” Chen whines.

“LEFT a sock in the fridge? Don’t you mean who put a sock in the fridge? Don’t normalize it. Since when is the office refrigerator an appropriate place to store hosiery?” Wendy asks between bites of her muffin. - What the Nightingale Spies

Favorite Closing Line(s): I’m gonna be insufferable here and say I love just about all my closing lines. It’s something I actually spend a fair amount of time on.

Top favorites: Signal Lost (& Found), Sometimes Legends Lie, and Ch 8 of Orb Bodies (The Space Between Right & Wrong). The first two are major spoilers to the fics, so here’s the ending of the OB chapter (Soo’s sad poem in the shape of a broken heart)-

Unhealthy, maybe But I can’t help believe.

In another place, In another time, You’d still Be Mine.

Favorite 5 Lines from Anywhere:

I can’t do this properly bc I hate potentially spoiling anything; here’s a half-assed attempt:

““Why on earth would I miss having my eyes assaulted by routinely bad dye jobs and socialist propaganda?” Kyungsoo retorts while calmly packing up all his things into his Fendi bag, taking longer than normal to gather up his myriad of note-taking materials. Is he lingering? He’s not lingering. Why would he linger.” - Campaigning for Your Heart

“Long ago they might have tried brushing off each other’s compliments with a self-effacing, ‘No I’m not,’ but they’ve grown comfortable over the years in accepting those sincere endearments. The beauty of a love fully bloomed, where fear of seeming immodest or worrying the other is only pandering has long since faded away.” - Of Keepsakes and Kisses

““Settle down, drama llama. Maybe you’re just taking my advice to calm your tits too seriously, and while you would’ve bent over for any dick yesterday, you’re limp for even Gong Yoo today.” - Signal Lost (& Found) [my real fave lines from this fic are in the final scene]

"A thrill runs through Kai’s body. “Oh. Well that’s, um, that’s good,” he says tentatively, not wanting the eagerness to burst out like a fucking Bat-Signal in the night sky.” - What the Nightingale Spies

“I’ve choked guys out with my thighs before.” Great, that’s an image Jongin will never get out of his head. Might as well chisel it on his bedroom ceiling - it’s all he’s going to see when he tries to sleep tonight, he just knows it. - What the Nightingale Spies

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated: 1. Jongin standing in the art gallery in Signal Lost (& Found)

2. The moment Kaisoo meet in What the Nightingale Spies

3. Kyungsoo and Jongdae’s conversation in Tartarus in Sometimes, Legends Lie

4. The pamphlets falling around Kaisoo when they kiss in Campaigning for Your Heart

5. Kaisoo standing together, holding hands and watching the sunset on the back of Soo’s yacht in Sail Away With Me Fic-writing goals for 2018:

Hmmm, trying a new genre like either fantasy/mama AU or wolf AU. Finishing the epilogues I promised for my fest fics.

Thank yous:

To everyone who’s become a friend, a reader, or a commenter. You guys are awesome and a MAJOR reason why I’m still writing and writing a lot. my ao3 account with works sorted by popularity in case you want to check out any of the ones I mentioned in this recap.

[rogue-rook]

some highlights from Story and Song from an all-caught-up-now TAZ listener (spoilers abound)

hot damn yall

i gotta feeling everybody’s coming back for this finale

oh god taako just realized he found his sister’s fucking SKELETAL REMAINS

griffin: “taako and merle, make a dexterity saving throw" justin: “hell yeah, dungeons and dragons is back!” griffin: “we’re back and we’re rolling dice that have 20 sides on them. it’s got 20 sides and 20 numbers, its great”

griffin: “the third figure is a fucking rhinoceros” magnus: “DIBS!”

the fact that angus is an 11 year old child and totally DOWN TO FIGHT just reinforces that i was right to make him my favorite npc

hell yeah we’re back to DND fights! they like rolled for initiative and everything

justin, after talking about taako’s leveling up: “should i talk slower so everybody who’s been complaining about us not playing dnd has time to nut. how’s everyone enjoying this GREAT COMPELLING AUDIO”

griffin: “this hand is gonna attack you, taako, cuz you just set it on fire”

magnus: “i jump on the back of the rhinoceros” griffin: “of COURSE you do”

taako: "hey magnus that was the coolest thing ive ever seen…HANDS DOWN!“ get it cuz they found a giant magical hand…GETIT?!

ango used the umbra staff to cast a fireball way above what ango should be able to do and im like hot damn i love this fucking umbrella

taako: “i snap the umbra staff over my knee” HOLY SHIT YALL!! ITS HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LUP LUP LUP LUP ITS LUP ITS LUP ITS MY DAUGHTER SHE’S HERRREEEEEEE

“lup grits her teeth and says ‘I’m going to fucking kill you now’“ MY GIRL!!!!! THATS MY GIRL!!!”

PHANTASMAL AND RESPLENDENT

“YOU’RE DATING THE GRIM REAPER???” I LOVE HER SO GODDAMN MUCH

lup: “why didn’t you let me out sooner, dingus?” taako: “i didn’t remember you existed, goofus” THEY’RE SO ADORABLE

taako: “don’t worry, I’ve got MAGIC POWERS” magnus: “is that supposed to be a big reveal?”

the love between magnus and fisher is one of my favorite bonds of this whole show

everyone banding together to fight the big bad is one of my favorite tropes ever (what’s up pacific rim) so that everyone is doing that here is INCREDIBLE

magnus: “i use my levitation magic” griffin: “oh im sorry, did you say you take the elevator? the skype call broke up for a second there”

griffin: “magnus, something falls from the sky” magnus: “i catch it” griffin: “no you don’t, it’s pretty big”

i’m so glad that griffin is committed to calling killian, carey fangbattle, and noelle “Team Sweet Flipz”

lup: “here’s my idea, are you ready for it? it’s a banger”

griffin: “you remember that, taako, because your memory’s so good!”

griffin: “its upsy, your lifting friend” wait what. im sorry, what?????????

oh its lucas okay, cool. that moment got wayyyy too much Gravitas for it just to be the worst brand mascot EVER

YOOOOOO istus’s gift to taako, the item he could retrieve when he needed it most, has RETURNED TO THE STORY AND IM SO EXCITED BY THAT!!!

wait wait. is this RANDO the “man wreathed in flame”? THIS LITERAL RANDO??? THIS LITERAL RANDOM CHARACTER GRIFFIN HAS JUST INTRODUCED TO US NOW????

griffin has really genuinely lost track of the correct timeline of the events of this story and im like shit my dude, you and me both. ive only got most of it down

this john motherfucker is like almost tugging at my heartstrings but also im the embodiment of “cool motive still murder” bc im pretty sure this dude’s to blame

clint doesn’t remember jack shit about merle’s kids right now and in context, its like merle doesn’t even know how old his kids are. that’s BAD

griffin: “although this bear is in like Furious Nonsensical Monster Mode, you see, just faintly, you see it retract its claws as if to say ‘alright motherfucker, lets wrestle’”

magnus: “they’re not strong enough, I have to be” damn, talk about a Magnus Burnsides Thesis Statement

the fact that magnus is refusing to kill this monster mode Power Bear even though it’s being controlled by an eldritch nightmare is like. proof that magnus has a goddamn heart of gold. what a hero

magnus finds it in him to ask for help and avi comes crashing through the walls like “sup dude, need some help from Captain Handsome Hero?”

“no dogs on the moon!” AAHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT

taako: “i don’t know what tacos are. I’ve gotten hints, if you wanna call them taco prophecies. that’s a crazy thing to say out loud, but I just said it, so here we are, I guess, I’m talking at you through a frying pan, try to keep up Joaquin”

taako: “I’ll take one taco, extra destiny”

taako: “yeah, like I’m going to let myself be seen being taught how to cook anything, nice try”

taako: “so, a toast” joaquin: “no, its a taco….just a little food joke” taako: “very little”

istus: “huh, didn’t see that one coming” griffin: “across two universes, two food trucks explode” damn griffin

joaquin: “EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE OKAY! I’VE GOT MAGIC POWERS!” DAMN! THAT’S A GOOD FUNNY PARALLEL

griffin: “kneeling at the center of town, is kravitz” OH GOOD! NOW WE’RE COOKING! NOW WE’VE GOT THE GOOD SHIT GOING!

i just gotta mention here that I love eldritch nightmares and cthulu-esque monsters, so this story’s eldritch nightmare that consumes everything in its path contrasted with a slowly-more-corrupted human avatar is MY JAM

merle: “i cast zone of truth!” travis: “TO WHAT END??”

griffin: “it is the most powerful holy spell you have ever cast” THAT’S A GOOD FINALE CALLBACK!!!!

HURLEY! AND SLOANE!!! THEY’RE BACK AND THEY’RE DRYADS!!!!!! THAT’S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!! GRIFFIN!!! YOU BROUGHT THEM BACK!!!!!!!!!

griffin: “she turns back to lucas’s lab and she says ‘hero time’” NOELLE!!!!! NOELLE THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!

THIS TAAKO/KRAVITZ KISS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!! THEY’RE KISSING!!!! I LOVE THEM!!

kravitz: “i wanna warm up my face so it’s not weird” AWWWWW

THEY’RE SO IN LOVE! I LOVE THEM! THIS EPISODE IS SO GAY

lup: “what’s up ghost rider?” kravitz: “you know we’re going to have to talk about the fact that your sister’s a lich, right?” taako: “yeah…i assumed”

lup: “taako just summoned all the energy in our reality to come help us fight” magnus: “mmhmm. I fought a bear…when I say it like that, it doesn’t sound as good, does it?”

davenport: “lup did you find the starblaster?” lup: “oh i sorta… forgot we were supposed to be doing that”

taako: “we have basically been trolling it for 100 years..[..]..and i don’t know about you, but TAAKO’S GOOD OUT HERE”

lup: “lucretia, dear, I’ve already forgotten about the whole thing. OH! OH! bad choice of words!” lup you adorable asshole

lup: “please don’t die” taako: “i’d say the same but that ship done sailed, hasn’t it?”

MAGNUS GAVE ANGUS HIS KNIFE!!!!! THAT SHIT IS SOO GOOD!!!!!!!

taako: “i walk over to angus and say ‘hey cool knife, you know he’s got a sword that’s on fire, right? he did just give you a KNIFE’”

lup: “hear that, babe? we’re legends”

“there’s magic in a bard’s song” OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

“YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT! AND YOU’RE GOING TO WIN!”

magnus: “this is it? it’s just a guy!” taako: “yeah it’s one guy, shouldn’t be a problem”

clint: “you heal up to 700 hit points!” griffin: “BULLSHIT! WHAT???” clint: “divided evenly” justin: “okay well but you don’t have any 9th level spell slots…” clint: “then I will use Mathias the Living Grimoire!” awesome I’m so glad clint learned how to actually properly play dnd on this LAST EP

griffin: “I will say, you’re on a ship, there’s probably a mast or something for you to swing down from” wait what this is an actual ship??? i was picturing like the entreprise or something

griffin: “we’re playing a little calvinball with the design of the starblaster” oh okay cool yeah its like a spaceship, not a fucking 17th century pirate ship

my dudes you never leave your weapons buried in the dying bodies of your enemies bc if they bounce back, they got your weapon now

griffin: “john is up first” justin: “fuck” clint: “he’s still just john? he’s not Demi-john????” travis: “final john” more cross-mcelroy-product jokes!!!!

the grubby heroes healed by godly love, i bet some people are feeling some Stuff right now

taako: “hey i want everyone to meet a new friend of mine, this is Joaquin” griffin: “OH FUCK! YES YES YES YES!!!”

joaquin: “thanks for the wizard powers, I’ve killed like a hundred of these things!”

griffin: “oh fuck I thought you were going to summon ME!!!”

hot damn clint REMEMBERED his gift from istus and fucking used it!!!!!!!!!

taako used the immovable rod!!!!! im so proud of them for remembering AND using all their items!!!!

taako: “i gotta be with lup” oh that’s so fucking sweet

angus: “hey everybody, johann was right! WE WON!” cool im crying a little bit, no big deal

LUP GOT HER BODY BACK! LUP GOT HER BODY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

griffin: “how does magnus die?” hey fuck off griffy i don’t want this

magnus being reunited with julia is making me cry significantly now

they got their happy endings, everybody got their happy endings, and I’m so happy

I am SO glad and grateful I got caught up in time for this fucking heartwrenching sweet finale