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#it's made such a huge difference for me since getting it
myouicieloz · 2 days
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Live your life
band!aespa x groupie!reader
Synopsis: It’s been less than a year since the band Aespa was created. Karina, Minjeong, Giselle and Ningning travel all over the country with nothing but a few gigs, little money and much love for the music. They’re far from superstars, and still don’t have a lot to offer. Besides, there’s something they can’t quite grasp: why you, the band’s most faithful fan, follows them without even questioning.
Warnings: lots of plot w a little bit of smut in the end, as alwayss.
Word count: 6.5k
Notes: I tried following the MV in chronological order (except for that little deck scene bc I forgot abt it and when I went back to rewatch the MV I didn’t know where to squeeze it in so wtvr) and I’m kinda proud w the way it turned out ˆˆ I had lots of fun writing it so I hope you have fun reading it too!! Also I ❤️ you band!aespa let me be your fucktoy I can take the four of you. and not in a fight (probably in a fight too).
pt.1 | pt.2
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“Is this legal?” Ningning asks, hugging the straps of her backpack. She tilts her head up to grasp at the place that would make their stay for this week of competition, its grand walls of concrete leaving her in awe.
You’ve been wiser this time: the cache of the band’s last performance made it possible for them to buy a roof rack for your brother’s— now basically theirs— van, which provided much more space for equipment and luggage. 
“Not really.” The four of you say, in unison. With a deep sigh, you grab your belongings and walk towards the huge stairs that precede the nearly-abandoned place. 
“It used to be a bathhouse,” Karina tells the maknae, holding her by the shoulders as they walk forward in hopes of making her less uneasy. “But now they use it as a vintage, low-cost hostel, or whatever. It’s always cramped during these times of the year, so we’re safe Ningnie. Don’t worry.” 
The bathhouse is huge, although its dirty façade announces it’s been long since the place served its initial purpose. Grass grows around their feet, nearly disappearing into the wild, and there’s a great amount of dirt clinging to their shoes in the parking lot. Three floors are presented in front of them in all of their grandness, in a structure so massive the place could be misguided as a shopping mall. 
Ningning gulps, although she doesn’t look relaxed in the slightest. Going up so many flights of stairs leaves you breathless, resting your hands on your knees as soon as you reach the entry lounge. The inside of the building is much different from what you expected: it’s filled with warm lights, and most importantly, it’s packed. Young people storm from side to side, hanging out in the corners or walking in rushed paces. The mixed voices bring a lively vibe to the open area, and you smile as you watch comforting chaos unravel. Such noise is enough proof that you're here: the girls are actually going to perform in the most important music competition in the country. 
A hand on your shoulder grabs your attention as you reach for your camera, itching to record every second of the journey. Ningning’s voice makes you look up amidst getting lost searching for it in the middle of your stuff.
“Y/n.” She calls for you, staring at the ground to avoid making eye contact. Her shoulders are pressed downwards, announcing a hesitant posture much unlike herself. You hum in response, acknowledging her while still looking through your backpack. “Is it ok if we room together, this time?” 
You watch as Ning brushes her hands repetitively, aware something’s wrong. Ningning might be the youngest of the band, but she’s usually mature, serious, and confident; It’s concerning to have her acting like that.
“Sure, unnie.” You smile at her, looking around as you squeeze her arm in hopes of offering her some reassurance. After making sure the other girls were busy with the check-in, and that there weren’t any eavesdroppers, you ask, “Are they back again? Have you been getting any sleep?”
Ningning’s nod, followed by a tired sigh, is enough of an answer. You know being so dependent on her friends bothers her deeply, even though you’ve told her countless times none of you mind. 
It’s well-known among the girls that Ning struggles with night terrors. Being an independent and strong-willed child made her extremely talented, but also very lonely. Ningning’s parents invested in her and sent her away from her hometown, Harbin before the age of 10. From then on, the maknae found herself all alone in Korea, pushing through an excruciating routine at a shitty entertainment company where people barely knew her name. She never spoke, at first because she didn’t know Korean at all— but also because people rarely talked to her; only urging her through events and evaluations like a doll.
Or better, more like a ghost. The loneliness clung to her bones, making its way through her soul until she wasn’t even sure who she was without it. 
Ever since then, her nightmares have kept her awake at night, trapped in a tangled mess of absurd dreams that deprive her of getting any rest. The hallucinations are so real she’s frequently urged out of sleep with a trembling body and heavy nausea, rushing to the nearest bathroom in complete panic.
Thankfully, not sleeping by herself is something Ningning found to be of much help, even if just a bit. So the girls take turns holding the youngest member close in their arms until her body gives up to exhaustion, still trembling. 
That was before Ning had gotten it under control. With the help of a professional and her friends’ endless support, she eventually learned how to suppress her troubled thoughts. As months went by, her nightmares somehow did not scare her as much as they did when she was a little girl. 
Or so she thought. Asking for help meant things were not looking good at all, which set up an alarm in the back of your mind. 
You had to talk to Karina about it and let the leader know. Out of the three girls, she was the most protective of Ningning: the duo acted like sisters most of the time and had a tight bond. 
“We’ll get rid of those nasty monsters, Ningie.” You tell her, resting your arm on her shoulders as you walk side by side to the elevator. “Fuck them. I’ll personally beat their asses for disturbing our little princess’s sleep.” 
Ningning’s laugh fills up the small corridor, and as she clings to your body, you’re reminded of how small she is. The maknae trusts you; it’s something you feel in the way she reaches out for your embrace, allowing herself to be vulnerable even if not for long. 
“So,” Karina says, staring at the four of you with a serious face. “I know we all want to enjoy the festival too, and we absolutely should. But it’s late, and it’s a week-long competition, so I say we take it easy and rest today.” 
The leader's words reverberate through the elevator, her assertive tone leaving it clear that it was a rather strong-willed suggestion as you all nod. 
“We’ve worked hard for this opportunity.” Minjeong agrees, leaning onto the big mirror that gave the impression that the elevator was much bigger than its actual size. “Let’s not fuck it up. We can have fun later anyway.” 
“Our first performance is tomorrow, but we have a bunch of interviews scheduled before that. We must be well prepared and rested.” Giselle adds, while they get onto their floor and start walking toward their assigned rooms. 
Somehow, the girls always manage to get caught up with something just minutes before getting in the car for their road trip, which meant you arrived later than expected. At nearly 4 AM, everyone was tired, even though the adrenaline of being part of something as big as The Box was enough for them to be a bit jumpy, eyes darting around to capture everything dimmed possible. 
The rooms were better, this time: there wasn’t any dust and the place looked fairly comforting, compared to the last place you stayed at. You drop your backpack and your small suitcase onto the ground without much care.
“Goodnight, cuties. See you in the morning.” You murmur, rubbing your eyes as you throw yourself on the bed, extra tired from being the designated driver for the entire journey. Giselle, Winter, and Karina wave faintly, too, making their way to their room at a quick pace. 
Ningning smiles and watches as you stretch yourself, exhausted. She’s quick to drop her stuff and pull her single bed, although it doesn’t move further than an inch. “Y/n… help me join the beds, please?” 
“Right, right. Of course.” With some effort, the two of you manage to move the two beds together into the center of the room, and you relax for a bit while Ningning occupies the bathroom. The soft sheets that welcome your face are much different from the leather seats of your car, and the change is well welcomed— so much you let out a deep sigh, relieved now that you’re finally able to relax. 
After changing into your pajamas, you stare at the ceiling and you wait for Ningning to hop out of the shower and join you in bed before falling asleep yourself. However, the last thing your mind registers are the soft sounds of Yizhuo’s shower before sleep takes over your body and you lose a short-lived battle to unconsciousness. 
Life is anything but peaceful when you give up a normal, ordinary life to live off of music. Not that it’s a bad thing: if anything, the thrill of not having a routine grants to the girls a type of freedom that only comes with art. 
That’s all Karina can think about as the five of you hang out at a big, open field. There’s a fence where you and Ningning sit, and the cool breeze messes up her long, pitch-black hair. More than freedom, the leader’s chest also burns with a deep sense of accomplishment. 
Within a blink, she’s at the bathhouse’s rooftop and this time her bandmates chat lively by the place’s enormous sign. It’s nighttime, and a different kind of unsettlement takes place inside her rebel heart this time, one Karina feels deep in her bones.
Thankfully, she doesn’t have to dwell much: her senses prove to be right almost immediately when they’re struck by a sea of shooting stars. They fly by so fast Karina barely sees them, making their way through with such strength she’s pushed onto the ground. There’s only enough time for her to grab a single star, grasping the small light within her hands as strongly as she can. 
But just as fast as it happened, the storm is gone. Karina looks up to talk to you and the girls about it, but you’re nowhere to be seen. She frowns, realizing she’s left all alone, under the darkness of a starless sky. 
That’s when she wakes up: breathless, trembling badly as she grabs her neck in hopes of making more air run through her lungs. Despite the cool night, her body is drenched in sweat. Yet, the oldest member can’t help but sigh in relief once she looks up beside her and finds Minjeong peacefully asleep. The leader looks to the other bed, where Giselle’s faint snores can be heard, her mouth hanging slightly open as saliva drools onto the bassist’s pillow.
Karina’s safe. She’s with her girls, in the comfort of their room. 
Yet the loneliness she felt still echoes through her body, hurting enough to draw small tears from her eyes before she acknowledges it. It had been such an empty moment… to look up and not see any of the people she loved and cherished deeply. 
It’s something Karina decides she never wants to feel again. 
“Mhm…” Minjeong stirs, her eyes half open as she stretches her arms out. Karina’s noises probably woke her up— the girl has never been a deep sleeper anyway. “What are you doing awake?” 
A few seconds go by, and Karina stays silent. The answer comes when the blonde is almost falling asleep again, so low Minjeong thinks she’s imagining it. “You left me there, all alone. All of you.” 
“We… who?” Minjeong’s voice is scrappy with confusion. She looks at the leader, scratching her head as she watches Karina get up. “Why would we do that? We’re literally right here, unnie.”
Minjeong’s attempts to understand her friends fail. If anything, she’s bluntly ignored by Karina, who shakes Giselle gently until she manages to get the Japanese girl up, although clearly in a zombie-like state, still barely conscious. 
The weather was still a bit hot by the time they arrived, so the girls agreed to leave the old, arched windows open for the night. Now, the wind had messed up the leader’s wavy hair, and there were little eye-bags under her eyes from waking up so abruptly. As a result of such an intense dream, Karina’s lips trembled and her body lacked its usual strength, which was noticeable by her limp arms. She looks fragile, clearly disturbed by a train of thoughts echoing inside her mind. 
And the way the leader stares at Minjeong so helplessly… It’s the reason why she doesn’t question when Karina offers her hand to help the blonde out of bed, in complete silence. One that remains until the leader unlocks your and Ningning’s room with her spare card, walking onto the bed with light steps— as if she was taken by the wind itself. 
Your bedroom is not as big as theirs, and the improvised bed is still rather small, but Karina makes it fit. Her hand is keen on Giselle’s back, urging the girl back to bed as the leader lies her down once again. Like in a puzzle, Minjeong squeezes herself between your arched back and Ning’s body, careful to not wake up either of you. 
“Feeling better?” She asks Karina, who watches the scene with a small smile. Minejong’s heart is filled with warmth at the girl’s pretty face, as she closes her eyes once again. 
“Much better.” The vocalist murmurs, calm and collected. Being tangled with her girls at one of the country’s most successful music events is enough to dissipate her previous loneliness. There’s nothing else she needed but the five of you. “I’m no longer alone, now.” 
She’s complete.
The Box is an event created for Companies from all over the country to show off their assets and make as much profit as possible—and they make sure to capitalize on every second of it, which is as much of a burden as it is an opportunity for its participants. The girls had interviews, outfit changes, and makeup booths provided by sponsors, guaranteed as long as they shot commercials and launched a few good words about their brands. 
Held in a big, open area, the place brings goosebumps to Karina’s stomach, reminiscing too much of her dream as the same clouds wind on the sky, blocking the sun’s path. Just as she had done moments prior, you look up too, frowning. The lack of light makes the day seem gloomier than usual, and a single droplet of rain would result in an atrocious, muddy day. 
And that would be a disaster, for sure.
“So,” After recording the stage they’d perform at in just a few hours, you turn around and nearly shove your camera on Giselle’s face. “Enlighten us, Gigi: why is the festival named The Box if the main stage is actually a big fucking losangle?” 
Giselle’s tone is condescending as she adjusts her perfectly arranged bangs, giving you a dirty look before answering. “Y/n, my love.” She redirects the camera to capture both of your faces, smearing your cheek with her lip gloss. “You just have to accept some things: like the weather, time… and The Box’s setup. It’s how it’s always been, so let’s not dwell on that matter, okay? Thanks.” 
“Very well, then. You heard her.” You nod back at the camera, capturing the massive stage for a few more seconds before pausing the recording. 
Giselle’s passive-aggressiveness was one of her hottest traits, and you loved to watch her boss people around. Which she always made sure of doing, whenever she had the chance to.
The Japanese girl giggles at your words, nudging you gently. Not much further from you, Karina and Ningning stand in a big line for something popular dish. You wave to them, and Giselle straightens her posture, following your stare as she grunts. 
“So, you and Jimin, huh.” She asks, plucking at the grass with her shoes. It’s obvious she’s trying her best to sound nonchalant and not make a big deal out of it.
It was no secret that you were devoted to Karina, surrendering yourself with as much as a whisper from her. Still, it was amusing to you how shy Giselle seemed with her question. Her hesitation was sweet, so cute it draws a smile from your face. 
“Oh… well, yeah.” You shrug, not at all ashamed of her hidden inquiry. “She needs someone to warm up her bed.” You eye Giselle attentively, studying the older girl’s body language before adding, “I can help you with that too if you’d like. I know Jimin unnie wouldn’t mind.”
Your answer catches her off guard, her eyes wide from your straightforwardness. You’re nearly teasing her for being so shocked when she laughs, shaking her head at your straightforwardness. It’s Giselle, after all: the girl has such a flirty nature you’d be surprised if she didn’t give you a run for your money. 
“We’ll see... You’re sure one of a kind, Y/n. That you are.” She answers, with a sultry tone before gently squeezing your arm and vanishing from your sight. 
That is enough for you. The Japanese girl’s gorgeous looks and confident nature make her so desirable and hot— truly an it girl, often leading the group to try out new music styles and different types of choreographies. Giselle is always pushing herself outside her comfort zone. 
It’s good that she knows you’re also willing to try anything she’d like, too. 
Brushing that subject off your mind, you take some time to dive into the festival, just as curious as the girls were: the place is still beautiful, despite the weather. Its lively atmosphere is enchanting, and there is so much happening: from bands singing on minor stages to dance performances not much further from where you stand. Everyone seems eager to participate, and you’re just as excited to watch everything at once.  
This event is also a great opportunity for you, considering you’re still attending university— hoping to major in Media Arts in a year or so. Even though you spend most of the time following the girls around, your passion for filmmaking and photography is also one of the reasons you’re so committed to recording everything your eyes meet. You plan on making this documentary into your final presentation of the year and submitting it to one of your main classes. 
So you record everything: making a full turn to capture your entire experience. You’re so committed to your task that you don’t even notice Minjeong’s frame behind you, the blonde girl not making an effort to move such thing as an inch from out of your way. 
The two of you collide with each other so roughly you have to hold onto the girl’s tiny frame with your free hand to prevent her from a having dirty fall.  Minjeong gives you an ugly look, impatiently wiping the dirt from her plaid skirt. She’s judgy, as always— not a day goes by where the blonde doesn’t give you a hard time.
Although you weren’t exactly peaceful to her, either. 
“Do you ever wear a bra?” She mumbles, annoyed. Minjeong’s fingers press the tip of her nose bridge and she closes her eyes as if dealing with you was enough to drain all of her energy. 
“Why are you looking anyway?” You’re quick to snap back, crossing your arms over your chest. 
Choosing comfort over fashion was something you’d always do, and today was no different. Your look for the day was rather basic but perfect for someone who’d be walking around the entire time: a pair of jeans and a plain white tank top that made your Aespa badge visible to anyone who took a quick look at you. However, that little show of hers has made the dirt that clung onto the fabric attract attention to your breasts, highlighting the way your pierced nipples peeked through. It had only been a few weeks since you and Giselle got them done, so you were still a bit hypersensitive.
Not that you minded, anyway. Minjeong would be a jerk regardless of that: the blonde made her life’s purpose to annoy the shit out of you, and she’s very committed to doing so.
Proving your point, Winter scoffs, all annoyed. “You always make this shit on purpose, don’t you?” You stare at her, confused, and it seems like she’s had enough. Rolling her eyes, Minjeong brushes past you, nearly dragging you by the shoulders as she stomps away. “Whatever. Whore.”
Minjeong is so rude. Undeniably so, with an insanely stubborn temper. Her mood changes quickly, and it is hard to tell if she genuinely hates you or if it is just some kind of playful banter. Not that you cared much, honestly. 
Truth be told, you had other things to worry about, like the amazing festival happening at the moment. You’d deal with that nightmare of a girl some other time. 
Instead of allowing the petite girl to disturb your mind, you decide to walk around by yourself too— despite preferring to be surrounded by the girls at all times, you were cool to be on your own.
You were deeply committed to making a masterpiece out of your clips. If the work you handed in was good enough, then perhaps your professor would overlook the number of absences on your attendance sheet and give you a nice grade. 
After walking around for a few minutes, a certain stage catches your attention: the structure is small and curiously held like a boxing ring, where nine girls sing and dance in beautiful harmony. The space is so far from the center of the festival its last rounds of chairs nearly drag onto the woods that surround the place. 
The girls performing are all dressed in dark pants, white crop tops, and black ties, and they’re incredibly in synch while still making complicated moves. Their voices are sweet, and so is the music that flows to your ears: it’s a cover of one of your favorite songs, KARA’s Mr.
Your eyes go straight to the sign that hangs in front of the stage, looking for said group’s name. Thankfully, it’s easy to find, both in Hangul and Romanized.
Fromis9.
The nine girls’ bright stage presence fills up the area, and it amazes you how coordinated they are, not one outshining the other despite being so many. No lines are stolen in the song; instead, they add to each other beautifully, reminding you of your girls. The contrast is fascinating, from Aespa’s four-member band to those strangers, who sing cheerful songs like this will be the last happy summer of their lives. 
You’re enchanted by them, truthfully. Not only talented, the girls seem genuinely sweet, as they spin and jump around to hype up the dead crowd. And oh, they’re stunning: each one with striking features, ones that surely seem like they’ve been taken straight out of a fairytale. 
You make sure to record their entire performance, as well as the little playful moments reserved for interacting with their fans and supporters. Soon enough, the song ends, leaving the group breathless but happy. You watch as the girls bow and take turns passing small water bottles around, tired from giving their all on stage. 
A few of them start a small discourse, although you don’t pay enough attention to grasp the meaning of their words. You’re too busy staring at one of them instead, hiding behind your camera so she doesn’t see how enamored you are. 
The girl is small, but her slim waist and toned muscles announce she must spend most of her free time at the gym. An energetic pink-haired girl clings to one of her arms, providing a clear contrast to her long, pitch-black hair, but she doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest: if anything, she hugs the energetic girl back, laughing and she twirls her friend around.
Luckily for you, there’s a big paper clasped in front of her shirt, just like every artist who is currently performing and competing at The Box. You search for her name with expectation, just like you’ve done with her group’s name.
Hers say, Saerom. 
A beautiful name for an enchanting girl. 
However, it’s her face that surprises you the most. She’s beautiful, of course— stunningly so, but so is everyone at this festival: something expected for a place with such a high concentration of artists, models, and people in the entertainment industry in general. But as you look into her high cheekbones and sharp jawline, you’re surprised to find such kind eyes staring back at you. Saerom’s eyes provide her soft, almost ethereal look as she nods to you. It’s a faint action, one a distracted eye would barely notice once she moves back to the middle of the stage with her bandmates, yet you’d never miss it. There’s no way she wouldn’t stand out, despite her plain outfit. 
You could stare at her for hours. 
Although you’re incapable of doing so: in a blink, steady hands grab your camera, and your arms are urged down so fast you nearly let it fall on the ground. Nothing disastrous happens, thanks to your steady grip and good reflex, but your vision is blocked by a serious Karina, fuming as she stares angrily at you. 
“What are you doing, Y/n?” The leader’s cocky, angry voice is something you only hear when she’s feeling intimidated or when she wants to be petty, which is unusual for the occasion. Why would she be so defensive towards you?
Karina usually yaps her heart out until your ears hurt from her complaints. It’s a normal thing for her to do, whenever she’s pissed. However, she doesn’t say anything this time, clearly waiting— demanding an explanation. 
So you lift your camera, playfully poking her in a failed attempt of easing the grumpiness out of her. “I’m making The Box’s documentary as my final presentation.” You stay on your tiptoes, trying to get a hold of the view Karina is blocking so confidently, but it’s useless by now: the performance is over, and the Fromis9 members have already retreated backstage. “For that class I told you about, remember?”
Karina rolls her eyes, ignoring your explanation as she directs you in the opposite direction. With a resolute tone, she brushes off the matter. “Whatever. Listen, Y/n: you should only focus on us, your band. There’s no need for you to look at anyone else.”
Oh, Karina’s fuming. It’s easy to tell, from the way she refuses to meet your face to the red that paints her cheeks. You giggle, enjoying her subtle possessiveness. 
Truth be told, you thrived on being reassured just as much as the girls did. The only difference was that you made an immense effort to hide how much it aroused you, well aware they’d use it as an advantage. 
Besides, there was a bit of truth behind her words: the girls were the only ones you truly felt connected to; they were yours just as much as you were theirs, and you didn’t feel like you needed to meet new people.
“Of course, Jimin unnie.” You nod, walking next to her as you turn your camera off and place it back in your backpack. “Aespa is the only band worth looking at, anyway.” 
Karina blossoms under your praise, smiling brightly as she kisses you gently, her irritation gone. “Good girl. Now let’s go to the main stage. There are only two hours until our performance, and the girls are starting to get ready.” 
You’d like to tease her back a bit but now wasn’t the time. Not when the band’s nerves were all over the place, nervous they’d fuck up the opportunity of their lives. No, you wouldn’t do such a thing. You’d be their anchor, peace, and most faithful supporter as you always were, ready to remind the girls of their true potential. 
With that, you and Karina walk back to the main stage with synchronized steps, and the moment with Saerom is brushed off to the back of your mind.
You've probably imagined the entire thing, anyway. There was nothing to wonder. 
“Hello, girls. Are you Aespa?” The staff asks, entering the room with his eyes glued to the list in his hands. After the five of you nod, he adds, with a comforting smile, “You’re on in 30. Come after you finish your makeup and clothes so we can start the soundcheck and set up your microphones.”
With another nod, you fall into a nervous silence once again. The girls have waited for this opportunity for so long; the crowd’s heated screams could be heard from where you stood, only adding to the girl’s expectations. It was the first time they performed in front of so many people, let alone at such a big and renowned festival. 
“I think I’m going to throw up.” Giselle mumbles, softening her necklace as if it were suffocating her. Her breaths were uneven, her eyes fixated on the ground. 
Karina smiles softly at the girl. As the leader, she knows it’s her duty to look composed and relaxed, to tranquilize her bandmates. “You’re not going to throw up, Gigi. You just need some air. Come on, let’s get out of here.” 
The leader grabs Giselle by the arm, urging her up. As they go through the door, Ningning rushes to follow their steps. 
“I need to breathe too.” She gulps, not even sparing you a glance as she runs to catch up with her friends. 
The nerves were striking, and they needed to look composed so they’d give their all on stage, as always.
You and Minjeong were the only ones left backstage, which allowed you to take some time to study her better. The blonde was perfectly still on the couch, with a rigid posture and hands clasped tightly on her lap. She looked composed, almost bored, as she always did— but you know her better. 
Minjeong’s muscles were visibly tense, and her left leg was bouncing so much you were afraid it’d be chopped off from her body. She’s usually so composed, rarely giving a fuck about anything in her life. Whatever it was, the most Minjeong would do was roll her eyes at it or give it a nasty, rude response. Nothing else.
Seeing her bottle up her feelings like that is something that leaves you deeply uncomfortable. The way she deals with her emotions is none of your business of course, and it’s not like she ever talks about how she’s feeling with anyone anyway. 
Minjeong rarely talks about herself; not to you or her bandmates. She’s simply someone very private when it comes to that matter. It’s something the blonde struggles with— understanding and acknowledging her emotions are not things that come to her naturally, so Minjeong would often carry her burdens alone until the feelings get so heavy she explodes, taking it off on someone who has nothing to do with whatever it is she’s going through. 
Although it surprises you to see how deeply caring the girl can be. Minjeong, who knows Karina loves apple-flavored candy and sorts them out for her leader, even though they all think it’s gross. Minjeong, whose personal space is sacred, allows Ningning to be as clingy as she wants, aware the maknae longs for physical contact after being deprived of it so much as a child. Minjeong, who is the most competitive person you’ve ever met, but lets Giselle beat her at deck games whenever they notice the Japanese girl is feeling down. 
Minjeong, who despises you thoroughly, but snuck a new SD card into your purse after seeing you struggle with your camera for a few days. 
You didn’t want her to make her big debut feeling like a nervous wreck. She needs to relax, and not be so tense otherwise she won’t do good in her performance. 
And you know just what to do. 
With a sigh, you drop your hand from the doorknob and turn to her, leaning on the wall to take a better look at her. 
“You’re nervous.” You state, smirking at the sight of her face growing red—the blonde girl, usually so collected… oh, how she hates to be caught. 
Most importantly, Minjeong hates you can always see right through her. 
“Well no shit, Sherlock.” 
Walking towards her with small, unhurried steps, you sit right next to her, crossing your legs as you lean onto her.
“I can help you with that.” You whisper to her, staring at her mouth. “Do you trust me?”
Minjeong scrunches her nose but doesn’t move away. Her answer, however, comes immediately— not an ounce of hesitation coming from her mouth. “Not at all.”
“Good.” You cup her face. “Wise girl.”
Leaning in, you capture Minjeong’s lips in a messy kiss. Despite her fiery personality, she tastes sweet, and you savor the strawberry essence of her lip gloss. Kissing Minjeong is addictive, yet you can’t seem to get enough of her. You lick her lips and devour her until your lungs scream for air, and the two of you get off each other when there’s no air and you’re both left desperate and breathless. 
Minjeong’s blonde hair flows freely, her scrutinizing stare forgotten the moment the two of you got so close your breaths entwined. For a moment, you don’t do anything but stare at each other, as you look for any signs of what she’d like to do next. You’re nearly sure she’d tell you to get lost until she grabs your neck and pulls you close, kissing you for the second time. 
“You’re completely insufferable, Y/n.” She murmurs in between the kiss as her thumb brushes down your neck. Even though there’s a faint pressure, her touch is almost soothing, urging you down to your knees. “Now, do more.”
You’re more than eager to follow her wishes, urging her pants and underwear down in a swift motion. Minjeong’s pussy is so pretty, all pink, swollen, and glistening, and you lick your lips with anticipation. The blonde girl lies comfortably on the couch as she spreads her folds with two of her fingers— showing herself to your hungry gaze.
“How do I look right now, Y/n?” Her tone is drenched with mockery as you squeeze her thighs, drawing a shiver from her. Your hands trace tiny circles on her milky skin, and you choose to ignore her; too focused on her beautiful body on display for you. 
Minjeong’s free hand goes to grip your hair, annoyed by your lack of response. “Fine, then. Do you want to know how you look?” 
Her malicious smile, much different from her delicate features, is what makes you shiver at her concentration. Giving her thighs faint bites, you ask, “Enlighten me, Minjeong.” 
“Like a whore.” Her grip tightens and you can’t help but bite harder this time. “Hey! See, I’ve always said you’re just a cheap who—“
Minjeong is silenced by your warm tongue on her pussy, licking a big stripe of her sex, as you go all the way up to suck on her clit as well. Her high-pitched moans are like music to your ears, and you take turns sucking her sensitive bud and letting out some lewd, loud sounds as you nearly make out with her pussy. 
“Do you want my fingers, pretty girl?” You mumble, staring at her through your lashes. 
Minjeong looks like a painting, beautiful with her mouth half-opened and a thin cover of sweat covering her brows. She nods frantically, urging you even closer.
Greedy, that’s what she is.
“Yes, please.” It’s the first time you’ve ever seen use her manners, so you’re quick to comply. “Fuck, Y/n…” 
Two of your fingers enter her cunt without any resistance as you thrust hard and fast. She bucks her hips to add to the stimulation, and you’re graced with the glorious view of her abs, thankful she chose a tiny crop top for the day. You want to see her tits, too, but it’s not like you’re in any position to demand anything— not while Minjeong uses you as a toy, rocking onto your mouth as her moans grow louder and louder. 
You feel her walls tensing up, and her toes curl as she tells you, “Y/n, I’m going t—“
“Cum for me, Minjeongie.” You give her clit one last, harsh suck, as her breathing becomes even quicker. “That’s it, let go.”
Minjeong follows your commands, reaching her orgasm with a high-pitched moan as she squeezes your head in between her thighs. Her body trembles from the stimulation, and you keep your fingers inside her walls until she’s calmed down enough that her screams are reduced to heavy breaths. You lick her clean, then, careful to not touch her clit as you eat her out for a few other moments. 
What’s most surprising to you, though, is the delicacy in her touch as she urges you up, tasting herself on your lips. 
“Sweet.” She giggles, before grabbing your tank top and pushing you off her. Minjeong’s obsessed with oversized jeans, and her current ones look huge on her tiny waist as she takes her time with buttoning up. “I really needed that, Y/n. Thanks.”
You don’t bother to hide a cocky smile as you nod, shrugging. 
“You’re going own that fucking stage today, Minjeong. All of you.” It’s what they were born to do. There isn’t a slight possibility of them not doing their absolute best on stage.
“I know.” Minjeong looks around, bouncing back and forth with her hands on her jeans’ back pocket. After a pause, she adds, with a quiet tone, “You’re going to be there, right? At the front row. Recording and all. It’s one of the only things you’re useful for.” 
You smile, understanding the hidden meaning behind her bored tone. “Of course, I will, dumbass. I’ll be there with you, as always.”
You’d always be there for your girls: cheering, supporting, or helping the band with anything they needed. 
Karina, Ningning, Giselle, and Minjeong were not sure of when you had become such an important figure in their lives, but there was something they all agreed on: they’ve grown too fond of you now. It was impossible to let you go. 
Not that you had any intentions of leaving their side, anyway. 
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luna-azzurra · 3 days
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do you have any advice for writing a love confession without making it grossly cheesy or awkward?
im writing one between long time childhood best friends that are EXTREMELY close and im so stuck
Since these two characters have been best friends for a long time, the confession should feel like it’s built off their history together. Maybe start with a memory that’s meaningful to both of them. It doesn’t have to be a huge, dramatic moment, something small but personal, like a time they supported each other or a running joke they’ve had forever.
For example, one of them could say something like
“Remember that time we got caught in the rain walking home from school, and you made up that ridiculous song to keep me from freaking out? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately… and I realized that’s when I first started seeing you differently.”
When people confess their feelings, especially in a real and vulnerable way, it’s usually not in flowery language. If you try to make it too poetic or dramatic, it might feel forced. Instead, keep it honest and straightforward. They don’t need to say “I’ve loved you all along” in some grand, movie-like way. Let the confession come out more naturally, almost like they’ve been fighting it for a while and finally just have to get it off their chest.
You could have them say
“I don’t really know how to say this, and it might sound weird… but somewhere along the way, I started seeing you as more than just my best friend.”
There’s no way for this kind of confession to be totally smooth, and honestly, that’s what makes it feel more authentic. They’ve been best friends forever, so there’s going to be nerves, maybe some hesitation or stumbling over words. Lean into that awkwardness, it actually makes the moment more relatable and shows how important it is to them.
Maybe one of them starts talking, realizes they’re rambling, and tries to correct themselves. Like
“Okay, wait, that sounded dumb, let me start over. What I’m trying to say is… you mean a lot to me, more than I’ve probably ever said out loud, and it’s kind of terrifying because I don’t want to mess things up between us. But I’ve gotta be honest, this is how I feel.” The vulnerability in admitting they’re scared to ruin the friendship makes it more heartfelt and real.
This is probably the most important part! These two aren’t just falling for each other out of nowhere, they’ve built this strong, deep friendship over the years. So the confession should acknowledge how much that means to them. Make it clear that the romantic feelings don’t take away from their friendship but add to it.
You could have one of them say something like
“You’ve always been the person I turn to for everything, and that’s not gonna change, no matter what. But lately, I’ve been feeling something more, and I can’t keep pretending it’s not there. I just hope it doesn’t mess things up between us.” This way, they’re emphasizing that the friendship is still the foundation of everything, but they can’t ignore the fact that it’s evolving into something deeper.
Overall, just make sure it feels true to the characters and their relationship. Don’t feel like you have to tie it up neatly with a perfect line or a romantic kiss right away. The beauty of this kind of love confession is that it’s messy and emotional, and it should reflect the complexity of their relationship. They don’t need to have all the answers right away. Let the moment be about the honesty and the fact that they’re finally admitting something that’s been building for a while.
Maybe end with something like
“I don’t know where this goes from here, but I had to tell you. You’re too important to me to keep pretending like I don’t feel this way.” This leaves room for both characters to process what’s happening without forcing a big romantic resolution right away. It’s more about them taking that first step into new territory, which feels more genuine and in line with the close friendship they’ve had for so long.
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brailsthesmolgurl · 2 days
Text
"What's my hidden perk?"
Preview: The LADS boys and their hidden perks. (lemme know if you guys want a part 2 hehe)
SYLUS - horseriding
Quirking his silver brow, his crimson orbs tailed your gaze. A gaze that went from bottom to top, a view you could not believe witnessing in front of your eyes. The giant figure of your boyfriend on top of a Dutch Draft. "Are you planning to just stand there and watch me in awe or do you plan to ride with me?" His voice thick, specifically laced with proud mockery as he was enjoying the look of shock you had been wearing ever since he had told you that he is good at horse riding. He extended his palm to you and took your hand, providing balance to you as you walked up the steps and took a seat in front of him, on top of the horse. This is afterall, your first time riding a horse.
It all started out as a harmless joke while the both of you were watching some National Geographic show about horses. Till he nonchalantly mentioned that he has been riding horses from a very young age and hence the surprise date for today. Featuring your boyfriend, with a horse--that you had no idea where he got from. You tensed up when you felt his chest pressed against your back, his breaths fanned over the top of your head. You hate to admit it—but you still do anyways— how he always manages to get a reaction out of you, be it stemming from a simple gesture. "Now that you have found out about my secret talent, does this mean we get to ride horses more often?" He leaned down, whispering seductively against the shell of your ear. "Or perhaps you would just prefer riding me, sweetie?"
RAFAYEL - good with kids
“Careful.” Rafayel grabs ahold of your forearm, guiding you past the puddle in the vast garden. The date came about to be a surprise, with the charming boyfriend of yours appearing at your doorstep in the mid evening, seeking you out from the stuffiness of your house to embrace Mother Nature in all of its glory after a whole day of heavy rain. Blushing slightly, you continued walking with him down the cobblestoned pathways, enjoying the coolness of the rain till sounds of laughters filled the air. A couple of kids were perched over a drain cover, staring into the waters with their beady eyes.
Rafayel drops his hold from your forearm and held onto your hand, the casual yet romantic gesture still greatly affects you. “Come on, let’s see what they are looking at.” At a certain extent, when you stared at your boyfriend from a distance, interacting with the children, laughing and chuckling as he was playing catch with them made your stomach feel warm. For someone like him, who spends most of his days locked away in that mansion of his, interacting with only a fish and canvases, you had never thought of him to be good with children. However, Rafayel had yet again managed to surprise you. Seeing him waltzing over to you, with a huge grin stapled on his face, you can’t help but mimicked his expression. “You seemed bored. Do you want to join us cutie?”
XAVIER - has an annual pass to amusement parks
It took forever for the both of you to plan a date due to the recent influx of wanderers. Captain Jenna had gotten the both of you to be split up into two different shifts; with you being the leader for the day shift while your boyfriend, Xavier is incharge of the night shift. Hence, when the wanderers' amount had finally decreased, Xavier did not hesitated to ask you out on a date. "I had always wanted to bring you here. It was on my list." He spoke, hands holding tightly onto your smaller palms as he led you past the huge archways of the theme park. Colours of all spectrums welcomed you, revealing the colourful fanfare of a theme park and you could feel your inner giddiness peeking through your smile.
As the both of you stood in line for the tickets, you were surprised when Xavier muttered to you. "Since it is your first time here, I will buy the ticket for you." When it came to your turn for the ticket purchase, your boyfriend only requested for one and you tapped onto his shoulder nervously, immediately asking him if he was only going to get one and watch you from outside or perhaps he may need some aid for funds. The man however beamed shyly, ear tips turning a shade of rubicund when he tried to explain himself. "I...uhm...have an annual pass?" The hidden question mark at the end of his sentence made you chuckled in return, mind already imagining how funny it would be to see him riding the theme park rides all by himself. "But, I got you an annual pass too." He held up the golden ticket in his hand. "From now on, we can both come together as much as we want."
ZAYNE - good at snowboarding
Zayne had appeared at your doorstep a little too early than his usual timing, which is usually going by your timing as you do like taking your time to sleep in and he do not find the need to disturb your beauty sleep. But today seems to be different when he appeared in front of your door with a coat in his hand. When you asked him about the purpose of him coming so early, the man only kept it short and simple, replying accurately to what you had asked. "I had taken a few days off of work and I had booked us a spot at a ski lodge." When you had an eyebrow raised, he continued to explain himself. "You had been watching the snowboarding event for the Olympics recently. I assumed you would like to try it yourself." You weren't exactly surprised at how conscious he tends to be, but you are more concerned of yourself as you had never done any snowboarding in your life.
"You had never snowboarded before haven't you?" Zayne questioned, those forest green orbs of his meeting yours with amusement. As you nodded, you could feel your cheeks heating up, warming you from the harsh cold winds. You hesitated though, asking him in return if he were to know anything about snowboarding given that during the safety briefing he did asked a couple of questions here and there. "Me? I would not say I am good at it, but I did tried it before, ever since I was a kid." He patted your head, a small smile tugging onto the end of his lips. "Don't worry, I will hold onto you the whole time and make sure you do not hurt your knees or fall into the snow." His arm snaked around your waist, pulling you close against his side and he planted a kiss onto your forehead. "But you can definitely fall into my arms if you slip."
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holdmytesseract · 1 day
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hi friend! 👋
I have a cute and fluffy request for the Baby Fever AU! 💕Narfi's first steps, Loki and Ella are out on a daddy-daughter date (you can choose where they're going) while Narfi and reader are at home together.
While reader has her attention on other tasks, little Narfi takes his first steps towards reader. When Loki and Ella returns home, reader surprises them with Narfi walking towards them 🥹💚
Growing Up
☆ The Baby Fever AU ☆
Loki x Y/N feat. Narfi & Ella
Summary: Narfi takes his first steps, causing you and Loki to realise that he's not so tiny anymore...
Warnings: fluff, fluff and even more fluff!
Word Count: 1,7k
a/n: I know it took me quite some time, friend, and I'm truly sorry for it. 🥺 Also, I really hope that you like it and that I did your request justice. Thank you again for the amazing moodboards you made for me, @chennqingg ! 💖
Baby Fever Masterlist °☆• Loki Masterlist °☆• Masterlist
divider by @fictive-sl0th <3
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Today felt like a pretty normal Thursday to you. Getting up at seven in the morning, making sure Ella got ready for school, while Loki prepared breakfast - bless him - and of course actually dropping your daughter off at school. Since you had 'Ella duty' this week, your husband tended to little Narfi and got the very young man dressed, fed and ready for the day. Sometimes, it was pretty chaotic and quite hectic. Especially on the days you were working as well - not full-time, though. You were still in maternity leave, but Nick allowed you to work two or even three days a week, if you needed a change of scenery or just a break. Just like today. Sure, Loki had to return to being an Avenger as well, but you always made it work. Besides, the others were happy to jump in as a babysitter as well.
After dropping Ella off at school, you drove straight to the SHIELD headquarters for work, leaving Narfi with Loki, who'd leave your son with auntie Nat for the rest of the morning, because Steve hated it, when Loki missed out the important briefings which concerned his 'development' as a resident of planet earth. Or in other words: Making sure he still behaved, didn't relapse and was a 'hero' and not a threat to humanity. In your eyes, it was ridiculous that he still had to 'prove himself' after all those years... After getting married and starting a family... After everything he had done for the Avengers, America and the whole world. But well... Who were you to speak up and change things? It was how it was.
Seven hours of going through reports and sorting files, you clocked out of work. Yes, it wasn't much you were doing, but it was something. Better than just staying at home. You loved being a mom, but sometimes you needed to see something different - and you were more than happy to rejoin your friends in hopefully near future and slip back inside your Avenger combat suit.
Instead of driving to school to pick up Ella, you drove back home. Loki had already done that; taking his princess out for a daddy-daughter date to the indoor swimming pool.
Arrived at the Avengers compound, you didn't even bother to drop your stuff first; instead heading immediately for Natasha's. Your motherly instincts were literally screaming at you by now to go see your baby son. So, you did.
Your best friend opened the door to her apartment for you with a huge smile and little Narfi on her arms; dressed in his white sweatpants and matching jumper. He looked like a baby smurf - which was probably one of the cutest things you had ever seen and would get certainly never tired of seeing again. "Mama!" Narfi squeaked happily from behind his pacifier as soon as his beautiful ruby eyes registered you; impatiently squirming in his auntie's arms. "Hiii, baby boy!" You smiled brightly and immediately took him into your arms. His adorable giggle urged to your ears; causing you to smooch his little cheek with kisses, and once you had thoroughly greeted your son, you turned your attention to the Black Widow leaning now against the door frame still with that smile on her lips.
"Hey, Nat." You shuffled closer to hug her, what the Russian beauty instantly reciprocated. "Hey, babes." "Thank you for looking after this little guy here," you said; pulling back from the hug and gently bouncing Narfi on your arm. Natasha shook her head. "No need to thank me. I love playing the cool auntie part." "I'll keep that in mind," you winked, causing your fellow Avenger to giggle.
"Alright. We'll be going then. Gotta do some chores... See you around, Nat." "Sure thing, babes."
You looked down at Narfi, who had snuggled against you; head buried in your neck. "Say bye bye to auntie Nat, Narfi." "Bye bye," babbled the little boy in a sweet, quiet voice; clearly on the verge of dozing off. Natasha smiled and waved at Narfi, "Bye bye, маленький смурф." who instantly lifted a small hand to wave back. Smiling and bidding your goodbye to the Black Widow as well, you pressed a kiss against your son's forehead and ran a hand through his black locks.
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Back in the apartment, you put the toddler down for a nap on his beloved floor cushion - which he mostly preferred for a nap, instead of his bed. Now that your son was sleeping peacefully across the living room, you had the time to do some chores. On today's programme: folding laundry. So, you spread out on the sofa, switched on the TV - but kept the volume down, of course, and got to work.
From your position, you had the perfect view on Narfi as well; having an eye on him from time time. Unfortunately, that didn't always keep him from escaping your watchful gaze. Just like Ella, was he his father's child... Sneaky and definitely a tiny mischief maker. Not quite as much as his big sister, but nevertheless...
You could swear that you only didn't look at him for five minutes - and suddenly was the floor pillow empty.
Shit.
"Narfi?" You called through the living room; letting your eyes wander and already moved to stand up. He wasn't in this room anymore. You sighed and shook your head with a small smile. "Little rascal..." You mumbled under your breath and crossed the living room; aiming for the hallway.
The good thing was, that Narfi couldn't get far; not having learned how to walk just yet. The emphasis was on the word 'yet'.
You rounded the corner into the hallway, "Narfi?" and found your son standing - hands free - beside the clothes basket, which he had clearly used to pull himself on his feet. At the sound of his mama's voice, the toddler turned his head - which caused him to immediately lose balance and land on his small bum.
Your eyes widened. Was he about to take his first steps and you 'interrupted' him? "Baby, were you about to take your first step?" Narfi was already pulling himself up again; using the clothes basket as a help like before. A sweet huff left his small lips once he made it on his small feet; causing you to stifle a giggle.
"Try again, baby smurf, come on." Narfi turned on slightly wobbly legs towards you; hand gripping the basket for dear life. "Mama!" You smiled and walked quite a few steps closer, before you squatted down and opened your arms. "Yes, c'mere! Come to mama!" You tried to encourage Narfi; a bright smile on your lips.
The smile got even wider, when your son suddenly let go of his support - and took a very wobbly, unsteady step towards you. With you mouth agape, you giggled. "Yes! You did it, baby! C'mon! One more?" Your happiness infected Narfi and he smiled a bright, toothy smile. Giggling, he made another two fast and wobbly steps, before he lost his balance and more or less stumbled into your arms. You reached out and caught him, before he could hit the floor; sweeping him up in a hug.
"Yay!" You cheered and peppered his cerulean, chubby cheeks with kisses. "Mama is sooo proud of you, Narfi." The little boy just cooed and gurgled happily.
An idea crossed your mind.
"Let's surprise daddy and your big sister when they come home, huh? They'll be so happy to see you walk." Your toddler's eyes widened at your suggestion. "Supise dada lala?" Narfi couldn't say Ella yet, so he settled on 'Lala' - it was the cutest thing ever. You giggled; nodding. "Yes, baby smurf. Come on."
The laundry was long forgotten; deciding to play with Narfi instead and helping him practising to walk.
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After a very successful daddy-daughter date at the indoor swimming pool, Loki and Ella returned back home in the evening to the Avengers compound. The little girl's hand was neatly tucked into her father's bigger one as they exited the elevator. Ella was definitely tired and worn out - just like it should be after such a day. That was most probably the reason why Loki was carrying not just his duffle bag in his free hand, but also Ella's pink Disney princesses rucksack on his back.
Together, they stepped down the hallway and into your family's apartment. "Darling?" Loki called out; taking off his shoes and helping his tired daughter to get out of her jacket. "Mommy? We're back!"
The pair heard a small voice along some shuffling, before you rounded the corner into the entrance area with Narfi walking in front of you; yet gripping tightly onto your pointer fingers. "Hey, you two," you greeted them happily. "The baby smurf and I have to show you something." Proudly, you let go of your son's small hands - and let him walk a few small, still wobbly step. Before he could topple over, you grabbed him quickly around his middle; holding him steady.
Both, Loki's and Ella's jaws were on the floor; not having anticipated this. Sure, Narfi had tried to walk now for days - probably weeks, but it looked like he needed some more time to learn... Apparently not.
"He is walking now!" A not-so tired anymore Ella squeaked and crawled forwards and clumsily, but lovingly hugged her little brother - who didn't quite understand why everyone was making such a big fuss. He just squeaked along happily.
Loki met your gaze; his beautiful blues shining with a few tears. "Darling, he... Our son is walking..." He whispered; visibly touched, but you heard him anyways. Ella was already helping Narfi back on his little feet; his hands in hers tightly as she helped him walk down the hallway. It gave you the opportunity to step over to your husband. With a smile, you slung your arms around his middle; invading his space. "I know, babe, I know." Loki laughed softly and tried to blink back the tears as he wrapped you up in a hug; strong arms keeping you locked against his tall, defined body.
"We have to watch out now, babe. Soon, he'll start to run," you stated with a giggle, causing Loki to shake his head. "By the Norns, please not. He's already growing up too fast..." You sighed; knew exactly how he felt - and he was right. You rested your head against his chest, giving your husband the opportunity to press a kiss on top of your head. "Mhm... Growing up too fast, just like Ella." You felt the god's chest vibrate with a hum. "Just like Ella..."
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маленький смурф - little smurf
Baby Fever Crew: @muddyorbsblr @mochie85 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jaidenhawke @multifandom-worlds @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @jennyggggrrr @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @huntedmusicgardenn @fictive-sl0th @herdetectivetheorist @hisredheadedgoddess28 @chennqingg @princess-ofthe-pages @km-ffluv @brokenpoetliz @lokiforever @stupidthoughtsinwriting @loz-3 @jaguarthecat @icytrickster17 @eleniblue @yourfriendlyslytherinhc @mypainischronicbutmyassisiconic @kimanne723 @lou12346789 @smolvenger @isaidoop @lokisgoodgirl @cakesandtom (Continuing in the comments)
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sweetladymoon · 3 days
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I was so happy to read your explanation on Lando and Oscar, tysm!! 🥰✨🌸 can you explain to me what is going on with Logan Sargeant? I may have no idea who that is but i am very interested in The Tea, and i am always happy to defend someone who deseves it lol
Have a great day!! 🌸✨💙💙
Oh absolutely I can! This is gonna be a long one so grab a snack!🤭💗🫶
Logan Sargeant is a driver that a lot of people had really great expectations for. He excelled in the feeder series (F4,F3, F2, basically the series you drive in before you get into F1, even though driving in these series does not mean you are guaranteed a seat in F1). Logan was very close to winning the F3 championship and was also the first American to ever win a F2 race. Here’s a link to a Twitter thread about his junior racing career in case you’re interested in details:
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He was driving for the Williams Academy at the time and in 2023 he got promoted to a F1 Seat with Williams. Many people question if he was taken out of F2 too soon and tbh I do think so. He could have used some more experience and maybe then we would have seen a different F1 career from him.
As a side note: Williams is not a top team. They used to be really good in the 80s and 90s and even won the Constructors Championship 9 times in total but had a bit of a fall off since then. The biggest issue for them is money. They don’t have the same kind of cash as the top teams which means they can’t develop their car at the same speed as other teams and also can’t upgrade it as regularly. They’re not fighting for wins or even podiums at the moment but mere points. Logan’s rookie season wasn’t great tbh. He made mistakes, he crashed and was also a bit unlucky throughout the season. At the end, he managed to score only 1 point which brought him to the bottom of the driver’s standings (with that 1 point he also became the first American driver to score points in F1 in 30 years though…so small wins I guess).
He got a lot of backlash from the fans and media and many wanted to see him gone from the sport. Williams however decided to keep him around for 2024. His fans hoped that this season would go better than the last and that he’d finally be able to prove his worth, but it was evident from very early on that Williams didn’t care that much about him and wouldn’t keep him around for 2025 no matter what he did. The team principal, James Vowles, played a big part in this. He kept badmouthing Logan to the media and, according to Logan, also did not give him feedback after races. Vowles would praise Logan’s teammate Alex Albon and then go on to talk about how if Logan wanted to keep his seat he would have to start performing in a similar matter which was unfair for many reasons. For one, Alex has been in F1 longer and has far more experience. Secondly, they weren’t even driving equal cars for most of the season. The 2024 season so far has been all that good. The car was pretty bad, but Logan’s in particular was nothing more than a glorified shopping cart. They couldn’t afford to update both cars, so they gave Alex the better car while Logan drove a car that was overweight and used spare parts from the previous season. However, JV never communicated this clearly when talking to the media, so a lot of people just believed that Logan was underperforming.
And tbh even when Logan was driving the inferior car he was not that far off from Alex’s times, so JV’s comments were also quite unnecessary. They started having equal cars from Silverstone (12th race of the season) on and Logan managed to finish P11 which is still outside of the points but was a huge improvement from previous races. But even that didn’t impress JV and that point everyone had kind of already accepted that he would be no longer on the grid the following year. Personally, I suspected as much since the race in Melbourne (3rd race). When Alex crashed his car during a practice session, Williams couldn’t repair the car because they didn’t bring a spare chassis. They knew they could only compete with one car and decided to give Logan’s car to Alex for the weekend, which was quite unfair of course seeing as Logan didn’t make a mistake and still had to suffer. It also showed that Williams and JV in particular had no faith in Logan’s abilities at all.
During the summer break it was announced that Logan would be replaced the following season, which didn’t surprise anyone but we thought we’d at least get to see him finish out the season…well we didn’t. He returned for a single race after the break. During a rainy practice session, he lost control of the car and had a really nasty crash. The car was a wreck and even caught fire. Logan was thankfully okay but had to start the race the following day from the back of the grid. He once again didn’t score points but I still think Zandvoort was one of his most impressive races still. Two days later, it was announced that he would be replaced for the rest of the season.
Many thought the crash and the cost that came with repairing the car afterwards were the reason for letting him go early but JV pretty much said that this wasn’t factored into the decision. They fired him because they thought they finally had managed to bring the car to a level for points to be a possibility and they didn’t believe that Logan had the ability to score any…which once again must’ve felt like a slap in the face for Logan.
They replaced him with Franco Colapinto who had until that point still driven in F2. Many questioned the decision of replacing an inexperienced driver with an even more inexperienced driver, especially because Williams’ aim was to fight for points. Alex expressed his sympathies when asked about the decision. He also made sure to point out that he thinks Logan is incredibly talented, has the pace, and will succeed in whatever he’s going to do next. (Here's also the lovely goodbye post he made) Oscar who was his teammate in F3 and drove against him in F2 also talked about how Logan could never show his true potential in F1 and how he is one of the quickest guys he ever drove against.
JV on the other hand talked about how he thinks Logan has reached his potential and basically said that he’s not good enough which is just a shit thing to do. You already fired him, what more do you want? JV has been acting highly unprofessional in many regards btw and so many comments he’s made (also about other drivers and situations) have been plain weird.
Franco has been doing really well. He even managed to score 4 point in his second F1 race in Baku, which was also the first race of the season in which both Williams cars scored points. Instead of just focusing on how good he’s doing for a rookie however, everyone keeps comparing him to Logan. Fans, media, even the commentators during the race keep bringing up Logan and how much worse he did compared to Franco without acknowledging that they never drove the same car. We’ll never know how Logan would have done in this version of the Williams, just like we’ll never know how Franco would have done in the earlier part of the season when the car was still shit. The comments are just unnecessary. You can compliment and praise a driver without dragging another driver’s name through the mud.
Logan has been pretty quiet since he got fired. There was a statement posted on his app but it got deleted soon after. We know he’s currently in the US with his girlfriend, friends and family which I’m relieved about. He looked really down in so many of his interviews. I can’t imagine the strain it must have taken on his mental health to not only have the media and fans against you but to also have your team (aka the people who are supposed to support you) talk about how disappointing your performance is. While I do miss him on the grid I’m almost glad he was able to leave this toxic environment behind.
He was spotted at the last IndyCar race of the season in Nashville that he was invited to by his best friend who drives for Andretti. There have been rumours all year if he might join IndyCar as well next season. Yesterday it was announced that he’ll do a test drive with Meyer Shank Racing in November. While they have no more available seats for next season, it will still be an opportunity for him to showcase his abilities and might open up some doors with other teams who are still looking for drivers to sign. A few haters have once again spouted bullshit and tried shit talking him but I’m just trying to be optimistic and hope that the whole IndyCar business will work out for him and that he’ll find a team who’s willing to support him the way he deserves.
I hope I didn’t bore you to death but that’s pretty much all there is to the whole Logan situation.😅 After all the unfair treatment and hate he’s been subjected to his fans have become even more protective of him. Also look at him. How could anyone be mean to this guy🤧:
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iprefervillains · 8 hours
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I was listening to a dating Podcast a few weeks ago and before you go "One where they give you tipps and shit?", let me make it clear: it was one heterosexual woman and one bisexual woman talking about the experiences they made in the dating world. Red flags, green flags, different topics like age differences, and life plans. They even had a community section where they read or played messages from their followers or answered questions or provided psychological studies and stuff. It was fun and sometimes educational. So that kind of podcast. It made me think of a hangster AU
Jake is a vet
Bradley is something else and has a dog named Bailey because Bradley and Bailey Bradshaw sounds funny to me.
Bradley and Nat have a dating Podcast called "We put the Bi in Birds" where they anonymously under the synonyms of "Phoenix" and "Rooster" talk about their dating lifes and community dating fails and fairytales. They've been doing it for a while and it's quite popular.
Now Bradley and Jake meet at the vet clinic when Javy (Bailey's usual Vet and Jake's best friend and colleague) is on vacation when it's time for some mandatory check up. Meet cute hangster were they are immediately smitten.
Bradley is the appointment before Jake's Lunch break. They get along so well that they spend the lunch break in a nearby dog friendly Café talking and getting to know each other but Bradley totally misses his chance to drop the news about his podcast.
They go on dates for the next month but there are no labels or anything even though they are only seeing each other.
Jake is whining about this to Javy and veterinary assistant Mickey on their lunch break.
Now Bradley wanted to tell him in the first week before they recorded the new episode because this way Jake would have heard a "normal" episode if he even bothered to listen to one, but Bradley missed the moment and basically spent every episode since meeting Jake gushing about him on the podcast (synonym Hangman bc he is terrible with spelling when texting) instead. Now he is terrified about Jake finding out because he admitted he fell hard and fast for Jake and he doesn’t want to scare him away by getting attached too quickly and dropping the L-word on a public podcast.
Mickey is a huge fan of the podcast and figures out what is going on after he has to take a phone call from Bradley on Jake's phone because Jake is too busy saving a little beagle to make it to their date.
So the next time Jake whines about the situation with Bradley and how he probably isn't interested at all because he is holding back and keeping secrets, Mickey just drops the thing about the podcast.
---
"OH believe me that man couldn't be more in love with you if he tried. 30 Minutes, he spent fucking 30 minutes on last week's episode talking about you and how he didn't want to scare you off by coming on to strong. Phoenix called you "the love of his life" and he didn't even tried to disagree."
"What are you talking about? What episode and who the fuck is Phoenix?"
"You would know that if you had given the podcast I recommended to you ages ago a chance. Bradley, the guy you've been seing, is Rooster on the dating Podcast "We put the bi in birds 🐦" and you are the infamous "Hangman" he's been talking about for the past month."
"What?" Jake
"Alright Garcia, how the fuck did you figure that out? I thought the podcast was anonymous. " Javy
"Jake made me answer Bradley's call last week and after listening to his voice for about 134 episodes I'd like to think I know what one of my favorite podcast host sounds like. Beside the podcast is produced in San Diego, Rooster has a dog name B and met a blond Adonis looking vet. Bradley's dog is named Bailey and the description fits Jake to a t. It would be a hell of a coincidence if those two weren't the same people. He even described your date at the drive in cinema. Now do yourself a favor and finally check out the podcast. Episode 130 is the one where you first get mentioned."
"What was the name again?"
"We put the Bi in Birds"
Javy snorts while Jake plays with his phone.
"It was supposed to be a working title but it stuck around. [To Javy] Now stop stalling if you want to hear what he thought about your first meeting before our break ends [to Jake]."
---
Later in the group chat between Javy, Jake and Mickey:
"Holy shit 🤯 he's in love w/ me."
"Told you so"
"Yeah man, I told you so too, even without having heard the podcast"
"What now?"
[Video call Javy, Jake, Mickey]
"Thx guys 😘"
"Go get him tiger"
---
Cue pretty awkward reveal were they finally have a proper talk and get together.
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"I know we don't know each other for long, and you probably think I'm a pathetic loser for getting attached too soon, but we can totally take things slow if you prefer. You don't have to reciprocate my feelings, well at least not right away. It would be nice if you would at some point, though, but I mean -"
"For Christ Sake Bradley, will you finally ask me to be your boyfriend, or what?"
---
Now dual POV would work or what seems insanely funny in my head is Jake's POV that gets interrupted every once in a while with snippets from the podcast (kinda like the Bridgerton books where the chapter starts with an extract of Lady Whistledown)
Now, as for Bailey: it's got to be a big dog, ok? Jake can have a dog like Glen Powell's Brisket as a treat, but Bradley's dog needs to be a bigger breed like a golden retriever or a Labrador or even better, a Rottweiler. It's all scary looking, but actually a little sweetheart that wears a rainbow collar and showers Bradley and Jake with affection. It's a her in my head.
---
Is there anyone who wants to pick this up and write it? I'd be cool with someone taking over and gifting it to me on AO3. If not, then it's up to the gods whether I find the time and energy to write this into a full fleshed fic.
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feroluce · 3 months
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“-and that's why I ain't allowed in Pier Point no more!” Boothill throws his head back and cackles, somehow completely comfortable on the bare floor of the archives. He's the very picture of ease, his arms behind his head, his legs bent and crossed.
Dan Heng barely looks up from his notebook, not much surprises him anymore after the first few tales of lawless exploits. “So they really have that many laws and restrictions there.” 
“And prob’ly a few more now that I've been through there! Heck, ya think they named any after me? I'm hopin’ so.” There's so much smug cockiness seeping through his voice Dan Heng could bottle it.
Silence settles in, stretches out. Dan Heng doodles pensive circles in the corner of his page.
He shouldn't ask. It's a private matter. It's none of his business. He of all people should know-
Something pokes his shoe, and when he looks up, Boothill has stretched one arm up to tap metallic fingertips against his foot. “Ain't like ya to hesitate.” With his head tipped back on the tiles and gazing at him upside down, Boothill's hair is out of his face and spooling out all over the floor, offering a rare view of his right side. His right eye is sealed over with a pitch-black patch, stark against his skin. Dan Heng wonders what he looks like behind it. “C'mon, then, out with it. Spill the beans, brother, just say it.”
“What does ‘Boothill’ mean?”
The man blinks at him, the crosshair in his cybernetic left eye flickering. Dan Heng shifts, smooths out his long coat. “I tried to look it up once. It's not in any database as a name...other than your wanted posters.” There's a thread beginning to fray near the hem, he should sew it up. “I couldn't find it anywhere.” 
He nearly takes it back, but- “Heh, ya that curious about me, darlin’?”
Dan Heng quickly levels his face into the most impassive, nonplussed expression he can muster, but Boothill has already turned away, head pillowed on his arms and face once again turned to the ceiling.
“But nah, ya wouldn't. Hah, like they'd allow any record of the language, fudgeheads.” One arm sweeps around blindly until it finds the edge of Boothill's hat, sets it back where it belongs on his head. Dan Heng shuffles around, scoots a little closer, but the brim is pulled too low to see his eyes anymore.
“It's ‘cause it's not a name. It's a noun.” All that's visible of his face is a sharp grin, pulled too tight at the edges.
“It's my people's word for a grave.”
Dan Heng's pencil stops.
“It's the kinda grave fer someone who died with their boots on. If ya catch my drift there.” Boothill's foot starts to bounce. “There was a war, and it got reeeeeal intense, yup. Folks started droppin’ like flies, ‘n’ there was bodies faster'n what we could bury ‘em.” A cooling fan kicks on somewhere. Dan Heng is pretty sure it's not any of the Express equipment.
“We lost some real good people there, real good. Mighty shame.” His hidden Vidyadhara ears detect a quiet metallic click, a whir, pressurized gas. Boothill's next words waft steam from his angry circuits into the air. “When I left, I decided to leave my name there, too. Didn't feel right otherwise. The life I lead now is a whole ‘nother existence.” And then Boothill turns his head, raises his hat, and Dan Heng suddenly feels pinned dead center, caught in that crosshair.
“Ya know what I mean, don'tcha?”
Dan Heng swallows.
Does Boothill know? Who he is and who came before him? There had been that moment in the Penacony Grand Theater, after he activated the Jade Abacus… Dan Heng had tried to shoo him out, keep him from seeing anything, but Boothill has the astounding ability to turn up exactly wherever people are trying to keep him away from.
If he did see, does he actually understand it? Does he know what a High Elder is? Does he know about the sedition of Imbibitor Lunae, the transmutation arcanum, everything Dan Feng had done and Dan Heng was punished for?
He doesn't want to explain it all. Not now. Possibly not ever, truth be told.
And it's not the same as Boothill leaving behind his old identity when whatever event happened that caused him to leave home. Not really. But…
But so far, Boothill has slid so easily into Dan Heng’s routine. His presence never feels like an intrusion. He's already figured out what he can push and when to back down. And even Dan Heng finds himself able to roll with whatever punches Boothill throws with baffling ease. They share too much in their methods and ideologies, and sometimes Dan Heng knows what Boothill will do seemingly before even Boothill himself knows.
“...Tell me about Talia and the Nailscrap Town.” Boothill must know he's avoiding the topic. He must. But the man just throws his head back and cackles, melting easily back into what they had been doing before, as he speaks fondly of a planet that Dan Heng has never visited.
Not today. But.
Dan Heng inches just a little closer, just enough to nudge his foot against a metal leg. Boothill doesn't pull away.
Maybe someday.
#honkai star rail#henghill#boothill#dan heng#hsr#bootheng#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng#BEHOLD. my brainrot#Aeragan-Epharshel and The Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae not as things they feel they have to tell each other#(bc what is most important is who they both are TODAY and what they are like NOW)#like they aren't maliciously hiding anything from each other and neither thinks so of the other#their pasts are just something they CAN share to deepen the bond and know each other better#things like Boothill better understanding why Dan Heng sleeps in a room lit 24/7 by electronics if he knows he grew up in a dark prison cell#or Dan Heng better understanding Boothill’s motivations & what kinda life he might want post-revenge if he knows how Aeragan-Epharshel was#I think it's only thanks to the Express Crew that Dan Heng can even begin to think about telling someone All Of That#he has people who love him and it has made such a huge huge difference for him ♡#meanwhile in in-game texts Boothill tends to gloss over the loss of his home. I don't think he's super keen to talk about it much either.#I let him say a little more about it here since he and Dan Heng had a lot more time together to get comfortable with each other in canon.#the thing with his eye is based off a voiceline of his but isn't canon from Hoyo or anything#but it's canon to ME#same with things like him having to literally let off steam when he gets pissed haha#I need to just make a post about all my weird robot body Boothill hcs I love cyborgs woohoo#that and him & Anger I have a lot of feelings about that too ♡#also. wireplay NZMZMXMMDDM
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seaofreverie · 3 days
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Sparkstember Day 24: FFS (Things I Won't Get)
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I have something terrible to confess, which is that at first I was not much of an FFS fan, at all. I actually actively DISLIKED most of what I've know from them at that point, which was what the Spotify algorithm seemed very content to throw at me whenever possible until it eventually forgot about it. Well, nothing wrong with that I guess, but I also want to think that most of my initial aversion to this project came from how I was still pretty, uh, close-minded in a sense when it comes to music at the time (and I'm saying all this as though FFS is even THAT much of a departure from Sparks, which it's really not? But maybe I just I saw it differently back then, which I guess is also fair).
But yeah anyway, I had a huge change of heart a couple months later, decided that all these songs are incredibly cool actually and I'm a huge fan now. This is a very solid collaboration and album and I'm so glad this happened. Like, it really is among my very favourite things from Sparks that I barely ever think about in such terms for some reason. Because I've noticed that I treat FFS more like a compliation than an album maybe? Cause yeah I'm pretty sure this is the only album where I have 30-40+ plays on several songs and only around 5 or so on a couple others. And I'm not super attached to the order of the tracklist either, and I'm mostly saying this because I've been a 100% albums over playlists type of person for the longest time. I will listen to the whole album start to end even if I don't like everything on it. It's like, well, if I like the whole thing enough to revisit it, then too bad, I'm sitting through it all until I can enjoy everything on it to at least some extent.
Overall, to me this album embodies that mid-2010s electro pop / indie rock energy that I love very deeply, in the sense that it feels appropriate to think, had I known about it back in the day, I feel like I would have LOVED it and it would have been my personal soundtrack of those early middle-school years of my life (or even earlier, I have this one note of me saying that "FFS is so primary school-core it hurts", so. While it didn't exist in the world yet at that time it still FEELS like that time, and I absolutely love it when music reminds me of a period in my life from around its release even if I was absolutely not aware of it yet at that point. It's like this source of free nostalgia that you didn't know would be attainable from this particular place.)
Also I will just say that it's ENTIRELY because of FFS that I eventually decided to give FF a go as well, and now I'd consider them one of my favourite bands, so, well, heck yeah to that!!
Favourite songs (and other highlights):
Johnny Delusional: oh yeah, I think it's important to note that it was especially THIS song that I found annoying as heck in the beginning. I thought it got very schematic and predictable at points (the long pause after the bridge especially I found to be so.... ahhhh come on, I could see this coming from a mile away!!) All of, which... well, maybe that was still a valid point in a way, but who cares since I love this song now, absolutely and completely and it's just soooo replayable. Every day is a good day to listen to Johnny Delusional a dozen of times
Call Girl: huge huge fan of the intro on this one and that whole wobbly synth sound it has
Dictator's Son: I really like that little guitar riff moment during the bridge
Police Encounters: notably the only FFS song among those early ones for me that I really liked from the start. And it's the ultimate jam, it's incredible how instantly happy and energized this song always makes me feel even after so many listens
Save Me From Myself
So Desu Ne: maybe the biggest offender (positively) when it comes to that "primary school-core" sound. Those cutesy synths are so important to me personally
The Man Without A Tan: realized quite regrettably late how much of a banger this is
Things I Won't Get: you know how it is with me and Russell's falsetto
So Many Bridges
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novella-november · 6 days
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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good-beans · 9 months
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youtube
It's done aahhh 👏👏👏 Here's my edit of @astarryserenade 's English covers in the Jailbreak Mix! The covers are incredible, and she was so helpful putting it together :) I also got some necessary audio editing help from @kyanako5972, thank you so much!
I hope you enjoy ✨
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🧸♡ ⋆。˚
#it actually does make such a huge difference omg im like ... feels like i got thrown into the floor lost my breath#having someone i like so much to talk to abt things#and share stuff and details abt not only my days but their days too#and talking abt like books that we read or shows/movies we saw and etc etc#sending pics. sending voice messages. all of that#that was so amazing wth???#it sounds like such a mundane thing but it changed my enire baseline. it wasnt a littel thing to me#i didnt share as much as i wanted to because it takes me longer to settle into smth like this#or any kind of connection/correspondence/bond/rapport#im slow bc im so scared of ppl. scared of trusting. scared of opening up. rejection rejection all of that#yeah.. takes me a lot longer than the average person to settle into smth like this#avpd is its own special hell...#i miss it a lot and i wish there hadnt been all the other circumstances so i could've actually relaxed into it#and come out of my shell completely. which i was almost there. now that mental block is gone but it's too late....#i take too long... it is impossible to be patient with me. i really hate everything abt my brain#my desire overtook my fear and it was quicker than it ever has but not enough.. :(#i miss it sm and it made me feel so so much lust for life..#but it's gone now and i can really feel the loss of it#i wouldve done anything i could to save it. or nurture it. or whatever. but it was a sacred treasure to /me/.#it doesnt matter if i try to put out the flames in a burning house if the house is gone and there are actually only the flames left#and since to me it is so special. and like. the fact that this even happened is crazy to me stuff like this feelings and connection never#happen to me. it's like.. special to talk to someone u like & have an established rapport with on a regular basis#and tell them stuff and rant abt like a book or whatever. ask them details abt their life bc u know them and enjoy knowing them#i cant just transfer all of this to someone else. i dont feel like yapping abt the book im reading into the void or someone i barely know#i just dont know... i need that sm and it was so amazing w someone i like sm. & it makes me sad i takes me too long to get fully comfortable#bc of this time were it was the most intense and long lasting for me but also im in love lmao. but other times too...#i take too long and why would someone wanna wait like actually a year (which is how long it often takes me to pass a certain barrier)#im not special. im nothing that great. it is easy to find someone else who is x1000 better than me and wont take an eternity to warm up#i just feel so sad bc i try so hard and then all of my effort just goes down the drain and then i have to do it again if i meet someone#then they'll leave me behind too and get tired of me and not like what they see and then im back at square 1 again
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moeblob · 1 year
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i've been getting a lot of fomo of seeing all my friends and mutuals playing baldurs gate 3 and was tempted to buy it. then seeing you drawing fanart and seeing it on my dash made me look inside myself and acknowledge my true self and desires... so i bought pioneers of olive town. its in the mail, but im excited for it to arrive. :)
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YEAH ITS SUPER CUTE IMO !!! I don't even have a console/PC capable of BG3 so I totally get the thought of 'oh im missing out' but I really enjoy the relaxing farming games... I'm super flattered to hear my love of these games influences people to try em out - that my love shows enough to make people curious. Thank you anon for sending this (I immediately screamed at three people on discord after seeing this bc holy moly truly high honors here).
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sysig · 7 months
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Old OC spotlight alert: It’s Nequam! Ft. his girlfriend Ruby (and also Papyrus for funsies lol) (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Nequam#Ruby#UT#Papyrus#He's only here because brainworms I mean an outfit swap#Considering this is his second outfit swap with one of my characters so far it might actually be the brainworms. I mean. More than obvious#Lol#He's fun to dress and fun to dress others in his clothes! That's my argument lol#Anyhow ♪ Nequam got too many doodles to fit in with the others! He was a favourite of mine for a while haha#He was retired after losing in a bloodsport comic many years ago so it's been a while since he's been around!#He looks the same to me lol#He's an original species I made at the time so he /was/ designed with my preferences and sensibilities so I guess that makes sense but hm#I kinda expected him to look a Little different lol - I'll just chalk it up to not having been around as my style grew and changed#Defaulting back to his references! Sure lol#He is still a cute lad :) I never really got into his backstory hugely but I know he's got a huge phobia of fire#His face and hands were caught in a fire that ended up killing his parents and permanently scarring and sealing his mouth shut :P#But he ended up being psychic so he could talk and move food as he needed without needing to get cut open so it just - healed like that#It sounds a little different when he speaks psychically but he's not mute! He can only make Sounds with his chest and throat#You can see I was like ''Isn't he self-conscious?? Here have a scarf'' in drawing him again haha - their species is proud so maybe not!#Ruby was designed by an artist I was a fan of and caught a request stream ages ago hehe <3 Ty as always to CuddlesandHuggles ♪#I love Ruby! She's super pretty and Nequam loves her and she loves him <3#And then there's the outfit swap lol look this time it was because Papyrus' outfit genuinely reminded me of Neq's!#Red cape/cloak/scarf - red gloves - high boots - white with gold trim! That's both of them!!#Nequam is much beefier lol and I gave him the fabric-over-the-bones look which ended up being cut through anyway lol#This species always shows off their crystals - it's uncomfortable to cover them - so there's holes all over anyway! Haha#Papyrus looks cute in whatever but hghhh he looks especially cute in a hooded cloak!!#The gloves were what really sold it for me haha - everything else was a very happy alignment but red gloves! Yes
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universalheart · 1 year
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apocalypse
#i really missed drawing in mspaint! this is my first mspaint drawing in a long long time. its also of the most predictable characters ever#but my friend fizz recently asked me why i liked gallus so much in the first place (because i am the only gallus fan.) this made me rewatc#basically every episode he's in so that i could think about like...really why i DO like him. at the time i told avery that its because i#just tend to like grumpy characters (which they said like grumpy bear lol - i do love grumpy bear and am a huge care bears fan. another#good example is susie deltarune or karkat. i really like them both.)#but then why don't i have an obsession with like...short fuse? or gilda? or smolder?#(although i do actually adore gilda and smolder...)#but its probably because gallus gets the most emotional focus out of any young 6 member (excluding maybe yona?) especially in the episode#hearth's warming club. this episode (just his telling of his backstory really) is very heart-wrenching to me. more so now that i really#like him and have created a whole characterization for him outside of the show.#and there are other things...like the fact that he's a boy character in a show that doesn't have an apparent misogynistic culture#or the fact that he's from a different kingdom so he's experiencing equestria for the first time#or the fact that i sometimes...personally feel excluded not from wider society but also my family. so i relate to him. and i wrote these#feelings i have into summerfree! ive been doing it since i was 17! his original iteration was named LYRICAL PROSE...but he's always just#sort of been me trying to express how comforted i feel by my little pony. my old oc tickle (and my current oc daisy chain and my ponysona#milkweed) also do this for me.#its like free therapy :3#gallus#summerfree apple#june 12th 2023#june 13th 2023
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steviescrystals · 5 months
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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weezerlvr228 · 24 days
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flippin boobahs!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#scott shriner#OKAH HI CHAT#i’ve been thinking#this tag will be just a rant not really weezer related#yk laufey ?#i was listening to her song ‘letter to my 13 year old self’ and just started overthinking about myself when i was younger#i just think about my younger self and get so sad thinking about her; i wish i could’ve done more for her#i was a huge introvert and talking to anybody made me super super anxious; so much so that my teacher noticed and had me join a ‘social#emotional learning’ group where we spoke about low self esteem and how to raise it and everything like that#i only left it in 8th grade because i didn’t wanna keep missing class for it; but it made me so sad to think i thought so low of myself#i would wear hoodies all the time and jeans because i used to hate my body a lot#which is awful to do in socal heat!#i think it started because in my family i was always stereotyped as the fat one; yk how mexican families are? they called me gordita for#the longest time; which made me incredibly insecure and only in 10th grade did i start showing my arms 😭 IK ITS DUMB BUT ITS SO WEIRD#i still can’t do it entirely; i’ll wear shrugs and things like that because i still am insecure about my arms sometimes but ive been better#i only really had one friend but she had a different lunch; so i was alone for most of the time on the swings by myself or sitting at the#lunch tables alone waiting for lunch to end and this noon duty came to me a lot and would talk to me since she felt bad i was always alone#while everybody else played with each other ; and i don’t know why i just broke down thinking about how lonely i was at the time#i’d go to the school’s friendship room everyday after that because it was just a teacher who let kids come inside her room to play games if#they didn’t wanna be in the heat and soon i became friends w the teacher and she’d play uno with me everyday; mainly because the room was#relatively empty until they got loom bands! and i was an expert on loom bracelets so i would help others make them and that was a confidenc#e boost; i remember being proud of myself for socializing like that LOL#i just get sad thinking about that time; i like to think that if little Lyss saw me; she would be so proud because i have friends;#a boyfriend ; good grades ; and i’m well liked and regarded. i hope she’s proud of my progress socially because it was such a leap#i wish i could go back in time and tell her how much better things get and how she won’t be lonely forever#…and to not online date. definetly don’t do that one.
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