#it's not like I read dreamling all day and now I need excuses for being lazy bitch

[ironic--maiden]

English as not your first language is great sometimes. Like you can spend all day reading ao3 fanfictions and just tell everyone, including yourself, that you are actually practicing your English this way. No, I didn't read smuts all day, I studied.

And the best part is, you can really learn something this way.

[valiantstarlights]

[Dreamling Week Day 5: Jealousy] The Feeling of Freedom

This is from my Dreamling Hamilton AU where Hob lost his memory during the American Revolutionary War and now goes by Captain Gideon "Leon" Roberts.

You don't need to read the story in AO3 to understand what's going on. 😊 Just imagine it's a Regency AU but Hamilton is in it.

CW: period-typical homophobia because this is set in 1789 Albany, New York.

(Because I fucking love Bridgerton's idea of playing modern songs as orchestral music during balls, this piano cover of Only Love Can Hurt Like This by Paloma Faith is the song I imagined Dream and Hob danced to, but at 75% speed. Please listen to it! It's very lovely, and the song's lyrics are highkey dreamling vibes. 🖤)

"May I have this dance?"

Dream's head snaps towards Colonel Hamilton, who has jokingly (and with an unnecessary gentlemanly flourish), held his hand out to Captain Roberts.

"No, Alex," Captain Roberts replies, amused at his friend's antics but keeping his hands firmly behind his back. "Go dance with Mrs. Hamilton. I have no intention of having my feet be stepped on tonight."

"Slander!" Colonel Hamilton exclaims, eyes bright and merry and not offended at all. "You forget, my dear Leon, that I was one of the people who taught you how to dance."

"And you forget that it was Monsieur Lafayette who actually put me through my paces while you and Laurens danced like a couple of attendees at a bacchanalia."

"Oh, come now, it's a slow song they're playing next," Colonel Hamilton wheedles. "And yes, I have asked the lovely Ms. Jessamy to tell me the order of the songs to be performed so that I may know when to ask you for a dance, for I know you dislike fast-paced music with a passion. You're welcome. Now dance with me to gentle the sting of your cruel words."

Dream takes this as an opportunity to smoothly insert himself into the conversation. And as the party's host, he can do whatever he damn well please and Colonel Hamilton will just have to grit his teeth and deal with it.

"Ah, Captain Roberts, there you are," he says, and steps next to Leon. "Excuse me, Colonel Hamilton. If I might steal the good captain away? He has promised to dance the next song with me."

Captain Roberts hides his surprise well, but Colonel Hamilton's brows shoot up to his forehead as he looks between Dream and Captain Roberts. "Really."

"Yes," Dream says simply, then holds out a gloved hand for Captain Roberts to take. "Shall we take our places, Captain? The song is about to start."

"O-oh, yes. Yes, of course," Captain Roberts says. He takes Dream's hand and allows him to lead them both to the dance floor, Colonel Hamilton following them with his gaze.

There are other couples already on the dance floor, most of them ladies who are laughing gaily with their friends at the opportunity to be able to dance with one another at a formal ball. Dream knows from their daydreams which ones actually have romantic feelings for each other.

He is glad to be able to provide this chance for them.

"When exactly did you ask me to dance, Mr. Murphy?" Captain Roberts asks when they were out of earshot from the colonel. He doesn't sound angry at Dream for being presumptuous, at least. Just confused. "Have I missed a social contract entirely? Again?"

"No," Dream says, keeping his voice low in case anyone is eavesdropping. "I was only trying to remove you from your conversation with Colonel Hamilton. I couldn't help but notice that you looked uncomfortable."

His body language certainly implied as much, though Dream does not divulge the entire reason for his interrupting the conversation, which is that he doesn't want Captain Roberts to dance with another man. Even if that man were his friend, Colonel Hamilton.

Especially if that man were his friend, Colonel Hamilton.

"Ah." Captain Roberts glances to the side where Colonel Hamilton is still watching them curiously. He shuffles his feet a little. Then, catching himself doing it, stops entirely. "It's not that I am uncomfortable with him. He is my friend, after all. It is only..." He sighs and lowers his voice. "I do not want to dance with him. If I were to do so, I am afraid it will only dredge up old memories that have grown more painful with time. We...had a mutual friend, back in the war. Alex always used to dance with him."

In his mind, Captain Roberts is remembering a young man laughing together with Colonel Hamilton, their heads bent together as they danced near a bonfire, fingers intertwined and eyes speaking volumes of their regard for each other.

Dream recognizes the man as Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens. He had often dreamed about abolishing slavery and growing old with a red-haired man. He has been in his sister's realm for seven years now.

Through Captain Roberts's memories, Dream also sees Colonel Hamilton's devastated features when he received the letter from John Laurens's father, informing them of John's death.

He sees how Captain Roberts, along with Mrs. Hamilton and the Hamilton children, slowly but surely coaxed Colonel Hamilton back to living his life to the fullest.

Alexander Hamilton may never be the same again after John Laurens's death, but he would have been in a worse state had Captain Roberts, their mutual friend from the war, not been there to help him recover.

It is exactly what Hob would have done.

And while the man in front of Dream might be calling himself Captain Roberts now due to his memory loss, in Dream's eyes, he will always be his beloved Hob Gadling.

"I see," Dream says. He spends a moment wondering if he was in the wrong about interrupting the two men's conversation the way he did, now knowing about Colonel Hamilton's regard for the late lieutenant colonel, but decides that he does not regret his action at all, not when it gave him this opportunity to dance with Captain Roberts. "I hope Colonel Hamilton knows what a good friend you are to him."

The captain chuckles and tugs at his left ear. A gesture that is becoming beloved to Dream, as it indicates the man's shy pleasure. "I tend to remind him when he has passed the three-hour mark talking about the Constitution."

"Three?" Dream repeats, teasingly. "Then you must have more patience than the rest of New York's politicians put together."

Captain Roberts laughs, but does not refute the claim. It brings Dream joy to see the man at ease in his presence, though he notes that he still looks a little uncomfortable, glancing this way and that.

And in his mind, Dream sees exactly what he's worrying about. Countless, faceless, well-dressed people whispering about him, eyeing him with disgust, spitting at the face of his happiness.

That will not do.

Dream takes Captain Roberts's hand on his own again until the man looks up at him.

"Do not think of them," Dream says. "While we dance, look only at me and forget the rest of the world."

It is a bold statement to make, but Captain Roberts nods, and flushes prettily, eyes on Dream's, pupils dilating. "I...yes, of course. As you say, Mr. Murphy."

The image in his mind changes as he speaks. He is now thinking about the warmth of Dream's hand in his, and how close the two of them will be, while dancing. He imagines his hand on Dream's shoulder, and Dream's hand on his lower back, their breaths mingling, and feeling Dream's exhale on his lips.

He is almost shivering in want.

Dream pulls him closer and makes his daydreams a reality as the music starts.

--

After, when the last of the musical notes have faded and the people have started to clap for the musicians, Captain Roberts looks pleasantly dazed, and his cheeks are flushed with exertion and pleasure both.

Dream has yet to let go of him. He does not want to. Not yet, at least. And as the party's host, he can do whatever he damn well please and everyone will just have to deal with it or leave. The front door is unlocked. They are free to remove themselves from Dream's presence whenever they wish.

As long as Captain Roberts stays, Dream does not care about anyone else. Jessamy, Lucienne, and the others will deal with the other guests for him.

"Ah, Mr. Murphy," Colonel Hamilton says, walking up to them now that the song is over. "May I steal Leon away?"

"I'm afraid not, Colonel Hamilton," Dream replies smoothly and genially, unwilling to relinquish Captain Roberts's hand just yet. And for his part, the captain looks content to be where he is, holding Dream's hand, also unwilling to let go. "You see, Captain Roberts has allowed me the pleasure of having his next two dances, which are the last of the evening. I believe he is effectively mine for the rest of the night."