#it's not really explained because half the scenes of him hypnotizing people were cut from the final film so He Can Just Do That

[doccywhomst]

ok what is this movie and is it a fucking banger like dr who 1996

Re-Animator (1985) is a dark comedy about a mad scientist/medical doctor (Herbert West), a regular medical doctor (Daniel Cain), and Meg Halsey, his girlfriend and the daughter of the Dean of Miskatonic Uni. When Herbert moves in with Dan, they start experimenting with bringing the dead back to life. Zombie hijinks ensue.

be warned: this is a very gory, bloody movie. there are several murders, a sexual assault scene (towards the end), and there's a pretty typical amount of misogyny for a 1980's horror film - no one really listens to Meg, and she doesn't have much autonomy. ;-;

but, despite its flaws, I LOVE the story and the dynamics between the characters, which feel oddly complex for this kind of film. it was originally written as a stage play and a lot of theatrical elements made it into the final cut. the youtube link is to the director's cut, including the deleted scenes, which actually add a lot to the story and the characters!

Herbert is an especially unique character, and most fans of Re-Animator agree that he gives off a queer and neurodivergent vibe. the booklet (?) that comes with the sequel (Bride of Reanimator, which is somehow even gayer than Re-Animator) actually addresses how the dynamic between Herbert and Dan feels a bit charged, and how the second film deepens it.

these are literally from one scene in the first movie. just... just watch it. it's so campy ❤

[jeffrrandell]

I'm intrigued by your Balance theory. That little man plagues me. I wonder what everyone's circus sideshow counterparts would of been.

I tried finding it but couldn't if you'd be willing I'd love to know your theory

I’m very flattered that you’re interested in it! I wrote this a little while ago, but hopefully it still makes sense.  (this is like my 5th time trying to post this too ugh) WARNING: very long post!!

Episodes important to the Balance theory-

- In Dreams - episode 49 S1 (mainly speculation)

- Balance - episode 50 S1

- Tales of Madrynia - episode 15 S2 (mainly speculation)

- Clarences Stormy Sleepover - episodes 5-10 S3

- A Nightmare on Aberdale Street: Balances Revenge - episode 26 S3

In Dreams

In this episode, we have Clarence experiencing a Lucid dream, he meets his buddy named Jeremy. Jeremy lives in Clarences head. He is playful and fun, but never wants the fun to end. He did everything in his power to make Clarence not want to wake up and leave him. The dream surrounding Clarence gets out of control and almost seems nightmarish, like a crazy place you cant escape. However Clarence does manage to wake himself up, and promises Jeremy he wouldn't forget him. He left Jeremy.

Balance

Balance is a character who looks to be Clarence but quite opposite from him, and acts that way too. He's a circus act whos main talent is balancing on objects. Supposedly he goes to the school to escape the circus and live a different life, but he appears to be much more than that. He isn't one for making friends with any of the kids, but Clarence being Clarence, of course he tries to. This angers Balance and he grows a distaste for him. He threatens Clarence not being a nosey Nancy or there could be consequences. Balance does this thing where he gets into peoples minds and tells them exactly what they dont want to hear. And by get into their minds, I mean quite literally. He plays this trick on Belson and Clarence comes to defend him.

Next scene, Balance is seen in class carving an apple in the shape of Belsons head. He then proceeds to slice the apple in half, cut to Belsons look of terror. Balance is already aware of their fears, he knows Belson is special to Clarence much like all his friends he talked down to.

Clarence comes up with a plan to try and get Balances intimidating words on tape to show the teachers, and he sets up Belson with a tape recorder. Another mishap occurs and Mr Reese interrupts. The boys give the tape to Mr Reese, believing they caught what Balance had said on tape. To their surprise, somehow all the tape played was Balance singing a tune. They are both confused and baffled, Belson steps away from the situation too freaked out. During class next scene Balance goes to the washroom to shave some stubble. Clarence catches him and runs to the staff room to alert them, but Balance fools him once again, appearing in the room entertaining the teachers. Balance says to Clarence: "how did I what, doc? How did I switch the tapes? How did I know you were gonna come here? Well you see, I've always been here Clarence. And now, I got the teachers eating out of the palm of my hand. I can make you think you're hearing anything I want, even smell anything I want. Listen to me boy, theres the mans world, and theres the spirit world, but you cant handle my world. Little bird, fly away home. Your house is on fire, your children all alone-"

hes cut off by the ringmaster. During his speech however, it shows everyone around him in a hypnotic state. He gets taken away but escapes in the very end. This could all be seen as silly, but I think he really means it. Balance is an entity, an entity out for horror and fear upon others, for that's what he lives off of. He's like a mind demon, abusing his power and controlling what people think and see. I also dont think the invisible circus is even real, hinted at the fact its called "invisible circus"

Tales of Madrynia

This is mainly just extra, but let me explain anyways. This episode is centric on Percy and Clarence. Percy has these imaginary characters he wishes to be real. Clarence has him over that day and has said animals in the garage. Despite them being literal wild animals, Percys imagination takes over. This is where Jeremy and/or Balance comes in. The animals in Percy's head talk about 'the pink one', Clarence. There's a story going along, but at the end of the episode theres a song sequence about them talking about killing 'the pink one'. Percy is so in this little world that he believes hes moving along with them, needle in hand, and marching to kill Clarence with his animal friends. He snaps out of it of course, nothing would've actually happened. But possibly, this was Balance being able to manipulate Percy's imagination into trying to potentially harm Clarence. The reason I mention Jeremy is because if Balance is in Clarences head, he has met Jeremy. (definitely confirmed in later eps) Jeremy has the ability to world build, make believe like a child and could be able to create a daydream. Balance takes this to his advantage.

This whole series of episodes is all a story told by Balance himself. Though the outcome is positive, it still has a lot of fearful aspects. Clarence 'goes missing' causing Mary and Chad to freak out, they get stuck with Jeff who feels as if hes the cause of a power outage AND Clarences disappearance. They go out into the storm to find them. Throughout this, Jeffs starts hallucinating and seeing Clarence talking to him. He kinda drives himself insane. Belson and Mr Reeses story are more about lesson learning, probably because Balance had a real fun time picking out the things Belson was guilty of in his debut episode. Not much of anyone else's story is very easy to tie to the explanation, but in the end Clarence finally gets his sleepover, bonds were made and everyone was fine. People learned and grew.

Clarences Stormy Sleepover

At the very end of Balances story, he goes over to a crib, which was in front of him while he read. Inside the crib reveals Jeremy, who he refers to as 'my child'. It is possible that Jeremy was a set up from Balance from the start, a creation of his.

Balances Revenge

This was the first episode seen where all of these theories took place, really. Clarence has people over on Halloween. He all enters their dreams, which all turn into nightmares. This is all Balances doing. He uses Clarence to enter other peoples dreams and turn them into terrors, a pink goop appearing more than once in disturbing ways in all the dreams.

Each time he gets out of the others dreams, they disappear in what appears to be real life. When theres no one left, he decides he needs to enter his own dreams.  Hes met up with Jeremy. All of Clarences friends are caged up by Balance. Jeremy tries to help Clarence rememeber how to control his dreams. Honestly, probably just a pawn at this point pretending to be friendly towards Clarence in an act to make him stay. When he feels he's ready he attempts to fight Balance, ending up in his capture as well. Clarence, being himself once again, plays by the dream rules and gets them all out of the kerfuffle. In the end Balance gets turned into nothing but pink goop. Does this mean hes gone? Naw dont think so. I think he just got away this time. You cant kill something thats merely an entity

What does this all mean?

Basically, all of this means that Balance is a figment of Clarences imagination, but not quite at the same time for he seems to be very real. He wants to use his power to manipulate and control his friends around him to see and experience horror and fear, causing them distress. All of this causes Clarence distress, for the one thing he cannot stand is his friends being hurt. I think that his dreams will haunt him for a long time, and will haunt others when around him. Like in Tales of Madrynia, I feel that in others dreams they will see Clarence as a monster. Like he did something wrong, or he is the villain. All of their dreams play with their biggest fears. Jeffs possibly being things like failure, guilt, imperfections and uncleanness. Sumos possibly being failing in protecting his friends and them ending up hurt, being met with disappointment and disapproval, and failure. Belsons possibly being criticized and met with the way he treats people, being shown his actions and how they hurt people, hard truths about his personal life and what he'll never gain from the way he acts.

Clarences would be about letting people down, his friends being hurt, being alone, and so on.

Some dreams could contain disturbing imagery or night terror material, scarring them for life. All horrible, but Clarence just has to cope. He feels guilty that hes the cause of his friends nightmares during sleepovers and such. A potential end to this has not crossed my mind yet.

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 14-19

This is the “Elevator Action” arc, presumably named after the 1983 video game of the same name.   I’m pretty sure a lot of Hellsing arcs are named for video games, which makes me wonder about the ones that aren’t.   Like, is “Master of Monster” a video game that I just haven’t heard of?  

The title fits, in the sense that there’s an elevator in the story, but we don’t spend much time there.   Anyway, this thing starts off with Alucard checking into a ritzy hotel in Rio de Janiero, and his only luggage is two big-ass coffins covered in sheets.  What happens next might surprise you...

For some reason, the guy at the front desk objects to Al’s luggage, not because they’re coffins, but because they’re just really big?   Like, he’s not even remotely suspicious, even though the sheets sort of hint that they’re trying to smuggle something in.   No, this guy just thinks it’s too big.    So Alucard uses vampire hypnotic powers or whatever to Jedi Mind Trick him.   Pip Bernadotte thinks it’s a “sex beam”, and yeah, this dude sure looks like he got hit with a sex beam.  

Seras is part of this mission, but she can’t travel over running water, so she had to make the transatlantic flight in her coffin.    Apparently they tricked her into this, which I don’t understand, but okay.  

And Al makes a big production over the debut of his own coffin, because he’s a diva like that.  

During the trip, Seras fell asleep, and she dreams of a visitation by the guy who played Baron Harkonnen in the Dune movie.   I think?   This is all a big gag revolving around her gun being named after a guy in Dune.    Then Alucard wakes her up because there’s helicopters and soldiers surrounding their hotel, and he thinks it’s awesome.

A bunch of this arc is panels and panels of commando goons taking up positions and getting ready.    A Brazilian newscaster is there covering the story, which he says is a hostage situation.    The authorities seem to think Alucard and Seras massacred a bunch of people in the hotel, and have hostages on the top floor.    It’s weird that they would even have a photo of Seras for this, since no one saw her.   As for Alucard, they identify him as “J.H. Brenner”, which I believe was an alias Dracula used in the Bram Stoker novel.   He shoulda spelled it backwards.   “Yes, I have a reservation for R. E. Nnerbhj”.   

Also, these photos are just panels from the Valentine Bros. arc.    That’s Seras killing ghouls in her berzerker rage, and that’s Alucard chillaxing while he waits for Luke Valentine to find him.   How would a Brazilian TV station have these?   I’m starting to think this comic about gun-toting vampires might not be on the level.

So now all the main cast can see this situation unfold on international television.   Pip watches from his crappy one-star hotel room, Integra, Walter, and the Convention of Twelve watch from Jolly Old England, and Millennium is watching from... well, somewhere.   

They clearly orchestrated this whole situation, which means they not only knew about Alucard’s mission, but they had a whole thing prepared for him.   As far as they’re concerned, this is just a test to see if Alucard will kill humans as readily as he hunts monsters.

What follows is, well, a bloodbath.   The police try to enter Alucard’s hotel room, only to find his coffin, engraved with “The BIrd of Hermes is my name, Eating my wings to make me tame.” While they try to suss out that riddle, Alucard shows up and demands they stay away from his coffin, so they shoot at him for like three pages in a row.    But bullets don’t work on Alucard, so he just grows back a new everything and starts slaughtering these guys.

The last guy in the room is so horrified that he just gives up and shoots himself, which actually shocks, then enrages Alucard.   

Then he tells Seras to come out of a cupboard he hid her in, and he gets all upset when she objects to his killing humans.    “Look, this is war,” he tells her, but that look he gives her at the end kind of suggests that he knows she has a point.    Those cops were never any match for him.    The two of them could have easily escaped this penthouse without a scratch.    Alucard’s ethics may excuse this kind of overkill in the line of duty, but he knows it’s not right. 

This scene also marks the first (only?) time Seras defies him.   There’s a part in the Gonzoverse series where Alucard is about to execute a human reporter who Knows Too Much, so she pulls a gun on him, but then Integra shows up and is like “No, it’s cool, you can kill this lady, idgaf.”  I guess that whole moment mirrors this one pretty well now that I write it out.    Seras doesn’t like how this is playing out.   She joined Hellsing to fight vampires, not human police officers, but she still follows Alucard’s lead in the end.   So is he influencing her, or is she influencing him?   It’s kind of hard to tell.

And maybe Seras really did make an impression on Al, because the next thing he does is call Integra to report in and confirm his orders.     She told him “Search and Destroy” before he left, but that was before all these human dupes shows up at his doorstep.     He’s willing and able to kill them without regret, but he wants to know if Integra is cool with it, since she’s the one calling the shots.    But Integra holds firm and insists that nothing has changed.    She looks resolute here, but leading up to this moment she was pretty anxious about what Alucard was going to do with all these humans.   

So why is Walter so giddy about this?  Is he just proud to see his commander displaying this ruthless leadership style?   Or is it something more?    After she hangs up, she asks Walter if she made the right call, but he declines to give an opinion, since he’s just the butler.  

I’m not sure Seras was privy to any of this, since she was preparing the coffins for transport while Al was on the phone.    He orders her to take the coffins to the roof and steal a helicopter to escape.   While she does this...

Alucard leaves the suite and heads down to the front door of the hotel.   There’s more cops in the hallway waiting for him, but he just mows them down the same way he did the ones in his suite.

Back to Millennium, their leader, known only as “The Major”, is now satisfied with the knowledge that Alucard can and will kill humans that get in the way of his mission.   But he sees no reason to prolong this battle, so he orders his man in the field, Tubalcain Alhambra, to put this to an end.  

Oh, and here’s the elevator.    The cops scramble inside and try to close the doors to escape Alucard, but he sex beams one of them to hit the “door open” button, which gives him just enough time to get inside.   He kills them all, then emerges on the ground floor and kills the cops there to make his way to the entrance.    Along the way, he tosses some of their bodies out the windows, and they land on nearby flagpoles, which impale their corpses like pikes.     Because he’s Vlad the Impaler, get it?  

And finally Tubalcain Alhambra reveals himself.   He calls himself “The Dandyman”, and he has card powers.   Is he anything like D’arby the Elder from JoJo?   Well, he’s got a vest, so maybe.   He explains that he manipulated the authorities into sending those cops into the hotel.   All he had to do was promise them eternal life.   They didn’t hurt Alucard, but they did get him to waste a bunch of his ammunition.   Maybe all of it, since I’m pretty sure Al never shoots Dandyman during this fight.    See?   Seras had the right idea after all.

Never mind, he does shoot him.   Also these two hit a lot of innocent bystanders while they fight.    It’s worth noting that Dandyman seems to have a lot of the same abilities Alucard expected from Luke Valentine during their battle.    Luke thought he was hot shit, but he couldn’t regenerate or transform himself.    But it looks like Tubalcain can shrug off gunfire and turn his whole body into playing cards.   

While all of this vampire fightin’ is a-goin’ on, Pip Bernadotte infiltrates the bad guys’ command post, shoots all of the crooked authorities in league with Dandyman, and then blows the whole thing up for good measure.

Oh, and here’s the third (and final?) Cross-Fire backup.    Bishop Maxwell gets injured during a pagan cult tries to assassinate the Pope, so he sends Heinkel Wolfe and Yumiko Takagi to go to Wales and slaughter their entire congregation.   And they do.   These Cross-Fire stories just don’t hold up.    It’s two overzealous religious fanatics killing other fanatics, except they always have the firepower and the element of surprise, so there’s no suspense or tension to any of it.  

Back to the Dandyman fight, well... wait, we gotta go through a flashback, first.

The last installment opens with young Integra learning about vampires from her father, Arthur Hellsing.    He quizzes her about why vampires are so feared, and the answer is that vampires are powerful, and they’re also vicious and aware of their own power.    So in close-quarters they’ll tear a human to pieces.    And another monster wouldn’t?   I’m not sure I understand his point.  

Back to the fight, Dandyman seems to have Alucard in a bit of trouble, because his cards are razor sharp and once they cut Al, he can’t recover from the wounds so easily.    Fortunately, Seras shows up to provide a helpful diversion.    And by “diversion”, I mean, shooting enormous shells at Dandyman.

And that gives Alucard a chance to get the drop on him.   He breaks Dandy’s leg, splits his left arm in half, longways, and then drinks his blood.   Also, Millennium does that self-destruct thing on Dandyman, so he goes up in flames.    This is about as defeated as a bad guy can get.  

And then Pip shows up in a helicopter, I guess the same one Seras was ordered to steal, since they have the coffins ready to go.   But Alucard is in no hurry to withdraw, because he’s just so gosh darn excited to be fighting this Millennium group.  They’re bloodthirsty, violent maniacs, just like him, so it’s perfect.  Or is it...

[h-sleepingirl]

Scenes from a Hypnotic (Fourteenth) Date

Sitting on the train, staring at a blank page.

Maybe I can't keep writing these. They keep being bastardized, cut up versions of reality because I can't tell the whole story. I don't really know what to do. It is frustrating. It is distressing.

He is destroying me. He is brainwashing me and destroying me. There is less of me and more of him.

It is total euphoric anguish.

That is just about all I can express. More than the hot and intimate parts of all these writings. I feel desperate, like saying, “Please believe me. Please, you have to understand how real and how ultimately bad this is.”

And I don't know if it will ever be enough.

It is everything I've ever wanted. And it's because we are the exact people that we are that we can achieve it.

--

We didn't do a lot of talking on this date.

We didn't do a lot of not trancing on this date.

Also, I bought a ridiculously pornographic cow print bikini outfit, because of course I did, and wore the tiny little top that barely covers my nipples under my dress to go see him -- his first time seeing it in person; a surprise for him to unwrap later.

We even heat up a little over lunch -- the same burger place from a little bit back, the roasted jalapeno and crema burger, still as delicious as I remember. Chatting, catching up, but honestly having a hard time looking him in the eye for too long, eventually surrendering to a low hum of dynamic, conversational trance here and there.

But it is a mostly light conversation. I want to get to the hotel as soon as we can, and I mention that, coyly. He wants that too. I’m staring at the clock the whole time, waiting for when we can check in during our talk.

I don’t remember what we were talking about, but I must say something like, “What kind of girl would I be, then?”

Because he does this thing, idly looking around the restaurant -- “I don’t know…” -- then pointedly, intensely shifts his gaze to me -- “Weak. What kind of girl wears a tiny little cow bikini under her dress to a date?”

I gasp, struck by it, suddenly so incredibly turned on, and then grin a broad smile. So elated that he was able to see and recognize the strings that reveal themselves to attentive eyes with certain shifts of my shoulders. A little private gift to him, one I was so hoping he would pick up on.

We leave for the hotel a few minutes later.

--

World narrowing to just my eyes, the trembling, lidded vision, the warmth of them, the feeling behind them, the teariness. There is something powerful that locks me in to my sense of it.

There are so many tears for the first few hours. Not emotional, just lacrimation from deep trance, the slow, prickling feeling of them leaking out and rolling down my face. Constant. Wet. One of the most tangible, inescapable signs of hypnosis for me.

Later I cry for real. He uses that to show me how much control he has over my emotions and forces it. It is not gentle and sweet and it is not kind. What it is, however, is control, and so even though it feels awful, my body yields fully to it.

--

I remember that time at Charmed a few years back when we finally got our hour alone after years of flirting and teasing and here-and-there scenes. I remember so little from that scene except, so vividly, a moment where he woke me up and I looked around the room and took stock of myself and said, “I think I’m still in trance.”

Bewildered despite years of experiences people only dream of.

He said, “I’d imagine so,” like it was so obvious.

Now, he says, “Everything was a prologue to this,” and I believe him.

--

"I feel like I am laying on a table with my skull open," I breathe to him, shaking and anguished, probably still hypnotized, "and you are touching the deepest parts of my brain..."

I can legitimately feel how much deeper his words are going. It is a specific sensation and it is completely consuming my attention every time he speaks. Perfect little listening and responding toy, in total awed bliss; the kind of awe that strikes fear, the kind of bliss that hinders my function in anything else.

--

"I really did it," he says, explaining patiently, "I really took away your control, just like you've always wanted. And I did it TO you."

Every part of me, every fiber and cell in my brain and body pulls taut and gets flooded with dopamine, with “yes,” with the complete agony of it being true. Even deep, I tense uncontrollably and cry out; it's a pained, raw sound.

--

“I was thinking about it on the drive up,” he says, smiling during a lull, “and I really just wanted to punch you in the face, except not really with my fists, and not really punching you."

Still dazed, I think about how brutal these first few hours have been, and completely understand.

--

I am totally fucked up for dinner; it's a miracle that I can even walk and pretend to be normal to anyone, and I have no baseline for whether or not I'm succeeding. I feel like people are staring, like my soul is exposed to the chilly air; my vision is changed, I feel raw and sensitive, I can't look anyone in the eye.

It is this sheer, real, powerful sense of being under his control. I am barely a person. I am deep in trance and there is nothing I can do about any of it.

--

Extraordinary hotness after dinner: fucking with my gender, milking my cow tits, grinding, making me so dumb, more and more brainwashing.

A deep conversation about who we are and how we feel about each other.

Playing until I am literally falling asleep.

A last cigarette out under the stars.

--

I wake up gently, rolling over in bed to see him sitting on the chair, reading in the morning light. I meow softly, always sort of cat-like as I awake, and he looks over, gets up, crawls back into bed, settling in next to me.

I curl into him, still half asleep, drowsy, and he brings his finger up to press my forehead and says, "Deep."

--

"This is the diner that I brainwashed you in last time," he says, grinning, as we walk in the door.

I am just still so out of it from the morning, I can't do anything but give a weak smile and try to hold my composure as the hostess seats us.

He's right in front of me, and I just can't stay out of trance while looking at him. I take in the whole place, the vividness of it, getting fixated on my coffee cup, the oddly delicate nature of the ceramic and the patterns, struck for a moment just by that one simple thing.

He hypnotizes me mercilessly, so much more than I'm used to in public. I'm used to trancing out with him, I'm used to him fucking with me. But this is beyond.

"Eyes wide," he says, and I realize my eyes have been fluttering, wondering what we look like, but it doesn't matter. He's the only thing that matters. He's controlling my state so easily and so completely and that's what matters.

My vision fades and warps and swirls and the pressure in the back of my head buzzes and tingles and I lose everything. The trance is that complete, that overwhelming.

Everything. Just. Fucking. Gone.

He snaps and I gasp, brought back sharply to reality, and all I can do is stare at him in total disbelief.

"So that's the deepest you’ve ever gone in a diner," he says, merely observing.

How does he always know? How can he always tell exactly where I'm at? He knows me so, so fucking well, so intimately, knowing my trances and everything is like knowing my deepest, most core part of myself.

I just smile, and look at him, quietly.

--

After lunch, we go to the town green and sit on a bench, in a strange sort of privacy; almost no one is here, just the occasional passer-by wandering at the other end.

He turns to me and sticks his finger in my mouth, and despite my discomfort, my concern that someone will walk past us, my brain can't do anything but shut off while I suck, automatically, trained.

It is just constant. He wakes me up only to hypnotize me again. Over and over. Even though we're slowing down, it's just relentless. His finger passing over my eyes. His hands cupping my face and head. His words sinking deep in my head.

Brainwashing and controlling me. I can't say it any more simply, any more expressively. There is no language for it. There are no words. I am exhausted from trying.

Quiet moments just sitting in his arms, looking at each other.

"I'm your MrDream," he says, seriously, "and you're my sleepingirl. And that's really special."

Except of course he doesn't say that. He says our names, which hold so much more power, which enchant me as a representation of who we are to each other, so easy, which tell more of a story than I could write about us in a year, or five, or ten.

--

@hypnokinkwithmrdream

[gravityfissure]

Wildest Dreams : Otto & Ariana

TIMING: Current. PARTIES: Otto & @letsbenditlikebennett​ SUMMARY: Ariana and Otto catch up at Layla and Luke’s birthday but things don’t seem quite right.

By all indications, the party was wildly a success. Ariana had to shake away the creeping concern that Layla could return to her hypnotized self at any moment, but she was having fun. It looked like everyone else was, too-- especially Luke, who more than anyone, deserved to have a blast on his birthday. How many years had gone by celebrating alone because he was in hiding? She’d make sure he never had to do that again. He was loved and she was determined to continue reminding him of this fact. Somehow, something felt off though. She couldn’t quite shake an uneasy feeling and she wasn’t quite sure why the recipes to all the bars cocktails were flying through her mind. She’d never even heard of half of them. She shrugged it off and approached Otto behind the bar. “Any good non alcoholic drinks for your favorite teen wolf,” she joked.

By Otto’s estimations it seemed like things were going well, admittedly by his standards it was a bit of a tame party but those for whom it had been thrown seemed content and at the end of the day it was their happiness that mattered. So he’d contented himself with tormenting Noah and Nate with inappropriately named cocktails for absolutely no other reason beyond he simply could. It was entertaining to watch the blush and bluster that came when the aptly named blow-job was presented with the criteria it be drunk sans hands. Though a pesky thought and concern for Layla kept gnawing at the back of his mind, frustrating considering… well, he didn’t really care about this Layla girl in any true capacity. Not when there were far more enjoyable people to pay attention to… Luke for example. That said, Otto was drawn out of his appreciation by Ari’s approach and he leaned up a little more on the bar considering her for a moment. “Well… Since you helped organise this and the fact no one’s looking…. Maybe I’ll treat you. Just don’t tell anyone I broke the rules hey?” He tilted his head “what do you fancy little wolf?”

For some reason, Ariana was stuck with thoughts of making inappropriate shots for Noah and Nate… which gross. Nate was like old and Noah was like the jock of a big brother she never knew she needed. Her nose scrunched up in disapproval even though her mind was egging the whole thing on. It was odd having her thoughts feel out of place in her own head, but she ended up smirking as she watched them down their blow job shots. Boys. They at least provided a good distraction from staring at Layla who was moping against the wall and chatting with Ulf. Part of her wanted to wish her a happy birthday while a larger part was still fuming. Still, she leaned against the bar and smiled at Otto. There was a devious spark in her eyes when he mentioned turning an eye. She knew better than to try and pull one over on him with her fake, but this worked out even better. “I knew you were pretty cool,” she joked, really Otto was probably cooler than she was, but she didn’t care about that, “Anything citrus-y sounds delicious to me.” She spared a glance over toward Layla again. Frankie was with her now and things seemed to be getting heated. Frankie had every right to be pissed at Layla. Now was just the worst possible time for it. Who knew just how strong the compulsion on Layla was. Last thing she needed was the headache of her turning all bad girl on them again.

Otto couldn’t understand why his thoughts kept going to Layla, who by appearances from what he could see seemed more concerned with staying out of everyone’s way rather than anything else. What was there to worry about after all and why did he feel annoyed whenever he thought about her? It was strange, she’d be one of many people he didn’t know that had been on his mind lately. Namely her sock-smelling ground beef. The memory earned a small wrinkle of his nose. “Just trying to add to my street cred with the pack,” he joked light-heartedly. “Citrusy, coming right up.” It wasn’t hard to fix a drink up and Otto returned after a moment sliding a blueberry lemonade sangria over the counter with one for himself. His eyes drifted over to the pair near the side of the party, lowering his voice to speak to Ariana without drawing too much attention “don’t think we’re going to have trouble are we?”

Everything in her head seemed to be confusing her right now. Ariana knew her concern for Layla was well placed, but every so often feelings or thoughts she didn’t quite relate to slipped in. Maybe the drink Otto was making her would do the trick. She laughed and explained, “I think with this party and that wolfy GPS thing you did, you’ve got plenty of pack street cred, but I’ll still take it.” When he returned with the drink, she felt herself begin to relax a little bit. It smelled like lemons and berries. It tasted even better. The alcohol even made it a bit novel. “Thanks.” Her smile was pretty wide until he mentioned troubles and guessed maybe her concern had been written all over her face. She looked down at the bar momentarily, debating on what to say, before she opted for the truth. She owed Otto more favors than she cared to count at this point. “I mean, probably not. I’m a little worried the compulsion on Layla won’t hold and she’ll go back to being hypnotized and kinda… how do you say psychotic bitch nicely?”

“Well, a little extra never hurts does it?” Otto joked while taking a sip of his drink as he surveyed the people at the party, mingling and chatting and seemingly having a good time. His brows pulled together a fraction with Ari’s admission, “like that probably. But compulsion? What happened there?” Unfortunately any further explanation was cut off as a crashing din from the other side of the party echoed through the space as a redhead he hadn’t admittedly paid much attention to shoved another individual that had been getting in her face over one of the tables that had been set out. “Oi! The fuck? Stop that!” he yelled, pushing up from his leaning perch on the bar. “Pete?” he looked around for the weasley looking demon (who was freakishly strong despite his wayward appearance) that typically sorted most scuffles out, But he couldn’t find him. “That what you mean by psychotic bitch?”

“Before you know it, you’re gonna be an honorary pack member,” Ariana responded playfully before she took another sip of her drink. Somehow hers and Nell’s joke of my wolves, my witches, and my bitches seemed to apply yet again. While she wasn’t keen on explaining, after that she did owe some sort of explanation and Otto looked confused. She shrugged slightly and answered, “She got hypnotized by a cursed fidget spinner. Ulf knows a vampire who compelled her to be like normal so she stops trying to destroy the town until we figure out how to break the hypnosis.” Hearing the crash in the corner, she let out a groan. Her leg was still throbbing and her stitches were still fresh. Judging by Otto’s reaction, she was pretty sure this venue wouldn’t be an option for future parties. “Ugh, yes, that just about covers it. I’ll get her out of here.” So much for a fun evening. She darted across the dance floor and let out a small yelp as a pain shot through her leg. There went her stitches. Dr. Lin-King was going to kill her. “Layla, stop it!” Her shouts seemed to fall of deaf ears. Why were none of the other wolves reacting? Where were Ulf and Miles? Even Luke or Winn would be a huge help right about now.

“Aawh, do I get a badge? I feel like I should get an honorary pack member badge. Tell me you guys have patches or something cool.” Otto’s smile was lopsided as he sipped his drink. “What the fuck? A cursed fidget spinner? Who would… actually scratch that I can think of plenty of people who’d do that…” His eyes returned to the girl for a moment. “Huuuh, and it’s working?” Crash. Oh. Maybe he’d spoken too soon. A single incident was hardly room for barring from future occasions, maybe just this Layla girl until she got her shit together. “I’ll help,” he said hoping that Thierry might be able to cover the bar for the time being while he followed Ariana. Everyone else seemed lost in conversation, paying no attention to the scene unfolding at one side of the room. Otto hated getting into altercations but it felt like it was happening more and more of late. “Come on… There’s no need for this let’s just--” he raised his hands in the hopes of a quick charm, but when he reached for the familiar tethers found there was… nothing there to grasp. “What the??” so perplexed by this development he missed the fist that was being swung straight towards his face cracking as it impacted and knocked him stumbling into the wall grasping his face. “Ow- what the fuck ?”

Normally, Ariana would have had a quip in response to the badge thing, but Layla’s outburst drew her attention. Making sure Layla didn’t hurt anyone was top priority and where the hell did Ulfric go? The other wolves seemed to be pretty content and too drunk to notice the scene Layla was about to cause. “Pie prize contest. Don’t know why they cursted a fucking fidget spinner,” she grumbled as she tried to ignore the sharp pain in her leg. She had to stop Layla, she could already see the claws coming out as she threw one of the tables. Otto was trying to reason with her, but she could hear the snarl coming from the redhead. Fuck, this wasn’t good. They were in a public place. They couldn’t just wolf out here. What if there was a hunter? They’d both get killed. Panic rose in Ariana and she instinctively lunged toward Layla to tackle her to the ground, but ended up on the ground herself as Layla dodged.

Otto could only stare in abject horror as the scene seemed to go into slow motion. The young woman’s features growing more animalistic, jagged rows of teeth belonging to a snarling muzzle turning in their direction, as fur began to sprout forth and a rather charming appearance became something much more terrifying in her apparent rising anger. “Uuuuh Ari?” Where were the other wolves when you needed them? This was not what he needed tonight. It was meant to be a chilled party with no drama. What was so hard about that? He reached again, trying to find some tether of familiarity of his power but again none came. There was a singular moment of isolating paranoia and fear, was this really how it was going to end. Fuck no. Get a grip of yourself. He backed up right at the same point a claw lashed out, his hand instinctively throwing up to try and counter but instead the claws racked over his arm and he recoiled with a pained hiss, “Ari! Get this under control!” because I sure as hell can’t.

Watching Layla transform into a wolf mid party left her both seething in anger and terrified for those around them. “Layla, stop it! Now” Ariana called out. She shifted her focus to trying to change her own form. For some reason, she couldn’t seem to connect with the wolf that was part of her. What was going on? The ginger wolf was charging directly toward her and she was completely defenceless. Not even her instinctive fight or flight seemed to be able to coax her wolf out. What the hell was going on? Panic made her heartbeat race. She squeezed her eyes shut and focused on the feeling the moon always gave her. She pushed herself to transform, but she stood there, unmoving and unable to connect with the animal inside. There was no way she could fist fight a fucking wolf. The other wolf sent her body thudding to the ground and Ariana winced at the fangs bared in her face. If her wolf didn’t come out, she’d be torn to pieces in no time followed by the rest of the bar. Or someone could end up shooting and killing Layla. Each thought left her petrified and as teeth were only centimetres away from her throat, she found her eyes fluttering open as she gasped for her breath. A coat of cold sweat covered her body and there was the tiniest amount of blood coming from her throat. She hugged the covers close to her and decided sleep was out of the question tonight.

If Otto would classify anything as a shitshow, this would certainly be up there in the ranks as he watched the ginger werewolf leap at Ariana. Why wasn’t she turning? It hadn’t seemed too bad the last time they’d seen one another and yet now she just… Wasn’t? None of this made sense and Otto’s sense of self-preservation made him step back, once and then again staring as she was knocked prone by the massive snarling creature. Oh hell no. Nope. Absolutely not. There was a single, last-ditch attempt to reach for his magic as the creature’s head lifted and peered straight at him and in a blur of snarling muscle and flesh leaped, claws lashing out.. And his last thought was is this how it ends?

His eyes snapped open in a blind-panic a sudden flare of energy shunting the nearby furniture a few screeching centimeters out of place. Sheets tangled around his legs as he tumbled out of bed onto the hard floor, breathing hard and clasping a hand to his heart. “What the fuck?” he panted a trickle of blood trailing down his arm as he stared around a dark empty bedroom trying to piece together what just happened but finding no answers in the silence. Perhaps sleep wasn’t a good idea tonight.

[phaticserpent]

Playing with Fire

(Demigod! Reader x Ultron)

CHAPTER FOUR

You stared at the scene before you, a run down ship with faded letters; Churchill. The sky was foggy but matching the color of the ground. Ultron had went ahead to cut the power line and you called him a ‘drama king.’ So now you were standing with the Maximoff twins. A bit unsure of what to do and you could see Pietro’s face was stumped as well, he could carry his sister but that would leave you outside. He resorted to carrying his sister then coming back out to carry you into the ship.

“You’re really light, are you sure you eat?” He asked. You scoffed and dismissed it. We waited until the power went out and heard the shouts of people to advance towards Ulysses’ office. You could make out the faint ‘click’ of a gun which urged Pietro to dash in there and disarm Ulysses. You followed in after Wanda, a bit tense from trying not to let your inner fangirl over stupid things appear.

“Oh yeah, The Enhanced. Strucker’s prizes pupils.” Ulysses chuckled. “And who are you?” He asked, directing his attention to you. You gave him no answer.

“You want a candy?” No one responded. “I was sorry to hear about Strucker. But then he knew what kind of world he was helping to create. Human life.” Still silence, you assumed Ulysses was getting a bit uneasy at the unending quiet.

“Is this your first time intimidating someone? I’m afraid.....I’m not that afraid.”

“Everybody’s afraid of something.” Wanda scoffed.

“Cuttlefish.” What? Cuttlefishes are cute. “Deep sea fish, they make lights. Disco lights.....whomp whomp whomp to hypnotize their prey and then, whoop! I saw a documentary, it was terrifying.” Pietro swooped in to grab a piece of candy and you felt the need to get one, but since no one else moved, you stayed where you were. Candyyyyy, your brain moaned.

“So, if you’re going to fiddle with my brain and make me see a giant cuttlefish. Then I know you don’t do business and I know you’re not in charge, and I only deal with the man in charge.” Ultron crashed through, kicking Ulysses out of the office. “Ah, ow fuck!”

“There is no man in charge.” Ultron leaned down. “Let’s talk business. I know about your supply of Vibranium.”

“Who are you? What’s Vibranium?”

“Don’t act dumb with me.” Ultron growled. “I’ll take all of it, for a reasonable price.” Ulysses stared at him, then his eyes shifted over to you and the twins.

“Alright, alright.” Ulysses and another led all of you down. It was a silent trip. Ulysses has his assistant pull a door and press a button, which revealed a cleaner and more brighter compartment. You peered around Ultron, as you had stayed behind him. Ulysses grabbed one of the cylindrical containers

“Upon this rock, I will build my church.” Ultron stated as Ulysses handed the container to him. “Vibranium.” You stared in awe at the metal before Ultron tossed it to Pietro.

“You know, it came with a great personal cost. It’s worth billions.” Ulysses claimed. Ultron chuckled and tilted his head back again.

“Now so are you. It’s all under your dummy holding? Finance is so weird. But I always say, keep your friends rich and your enemies rich and wait to find out which is which.”

“Stark.”

“What?”

“Tony Stark used to say that, to me. You’re one of his.”

“What? I’m not!” Ultron snarled as he grabbed Ulysses. Wanda held down Ulysses’ assistant who pulled out a gun, while you and Pietro stood to the side. You could set your hands on fire, but would that help? Probably not. “I’m not! You think I’m one of Stark’s puppet and hallowed men. I mean look at me! Do I look like Iron Man? Stark is nothing!” Ultron fumed in anger as he brought down his weapon that took off Ulysses’ arm. You were conflicted. Confused. Should you be concerned? Who is this Stark or Iron Man anyways?

“Oh, I am sorry.....ooh, I’m sure that’s gonna be okay. I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t understand, don’t compare me, with Stark.” You let out a small gasp as Ultron kicked Ulysses down the stairs. Ultron’s eyes landed on you as his furrowed brows relaxed. “It’s a thing with me, Stark is a sickness!”

“Aw Junior, you’re going to break your old man’s heart.” A new voice interrupted. There, standing across from Ultron, was a group. A red and gold suit, which the voice emanated from, a tall and muscled man with blonde hair carrying a big hammer, which you assumed was Thor, and another man in a blue suit.

“If I have to.”

“Nobody has to break anything.” Thor piped in.

“Clearly you never made an Omelette.”

“He beat me by one second.” The Red Suit stated. Thor glanced at him in confusion.

“Who’s she?” The Blue Suit asked, pointing directly at you. Ultron turned to see who he was asking about. “I thought you were after the twins.....there wasn’t any other Enhanced.”

“Oh she’s not an Enhanced. Probably someone more powerful.” Ultron informed. Thor studied you, his head tilting.

“Wait, I recognize your aura. Your presence and power. You’re a demigod.” Thor finally realized. You put up your hands and shook them in a mocking ‘ta-da’ sort of manner.

“Ah this is funny, Mr. Stark. If what’s comfortable. Like old times.” Pietro stepped up.

“This was never my life.”

“You all can still walk away from this.” Blue Suit offered.

“Aw we will.” Wanda mocked.

“I know you suffered.”

“Ugh, Captain America.” The Blue Suit stared at Ultron with fear. “God’s righteous man. Pretending you can live without a war. I can’t physically throw up in my mouth.”

“If you believe in peace, then let us keep it.” Thor pleaded.

“I think you’re confusing peace with quiet.”

“Yuh-huh. What’s the Vibranium for?”

“I’m glad you asked that because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan.” Ultron scoffed as he lazily rolled his hands before dragging the Red Suit down. The minute Ultron fired, the Red Suit charged and so did the others. You have fought......somewhat. It was a necessity in Camp Half Blood. But these were older people. You didn’t know whether you could match their strength to yours. Ultron and Red Suits disappeared as Ultron’s sentries also attacked.

“So let me ask you this, why is a demigod working for Ultron?” Thor asked as he threw his hammer at you, in which you lazily dodged. It was a lazy throw. “I thought demigods knew what to fight for.”

“Look, I honeslty didn’t think it was going to escalate to this.”

“Oh so are you joining us now?”

“Not a chance.”

“Who’s your godly parent? I hope you’re not one of mine....” Thor sighed and you laughed.

“Hephaestus.”

“Ah, so no powers?”

“Wow, that’s a bit judgmental for assuming I have no power because my father doesn’t. Harsh.” You shook your head with disappointment before sending a roll of fire towards him. Thor let out a groan before dodging.

“I must say, that is quiet impressive.” Thor chuckled.

“Say that five seconds ago.”

“Haha, you are funny. If you weren’t working for the enemy, I would’ve brought you out for beer. You do drink?”

“Nope, sorry!” You exclaimed as you formed circular shapes of fire rolling towards him like a rogue snowball. Thor jumped out of the way and you could see him sweating from the intense heat. “C’mon Thor! Where’s your thunder?” There were the sound of guns firing, which caused you to duck. Thor smirked as he swung his hammer.

“I would love to give you a light show, but this place seems cramped. You know, we should head outside and I’ll show you.”

“Eh, I’ll decline.” You shrugged and watched as Thor took off. You joined Wanda and she nodded at you. You were still in a confused state.

“It’s time for some mind games.” Ultron said to Wanda. “[Y/N], give them some fireworks.”

“Oh, gladly.” You smirked as your rubbed your hands together. It would be hard to take down the Avengers without a proper form of distraction, that’s where you came in. Using all your strength, you let out a wave of inferno horses, chasing after them. You saw Blue Suit taken down, along with the woman who was called Black Widow. You also assumed Thor was taken down, as he stood around in complete daze. You stood idly by as sentries started unloading the Vibranium.

“This is going very well.” Ultron sounded surprised.

“You are smart.” You reminded. “An A.I.”

“Let’s go.” Another sentry picked you up, you were a bit shocked.

“What about Wanda and Pietro?”

“I have multiple sentries.” Ultron reminded. The sentry returned to normal before its lights turned blue. “Stark destroyed my body. I’m sending you the blueprints to make another one......I think we have enough sentries, thanks to your handy work. I’ll need backup bodies.”

“Okay.” You nodded. You were dropped off at the Hydra base and immediately started working on Ultron’s body. It was complicated. But you managed and maybe made some improvements to the metal. Sure it was Vibranium, but you wondered what would happen if you melted the Vibranium and mixed it with Celestial bronze. Celestial bronze can’t rust. Would it help? They won’t be pouring water over him.......I added some to the sentries cause he wanted them to be waterproof. I mean, celestial bronze isn’t waterproof, but it certainly protects the metal from corroding. Should I? Dad, some help? Please.

‘If your heart tells you to, then do it. Don’t use your brain too much.’ He advised and you went along with it. You added chunks of celestial bronze and Vibranium. You had been welding for a couple of minutes, it was almost completed, when you heard a loud clattering. You had stopped, the fire in your hand dying down.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” You called. One of the sentries that you created turned on. “Oh, good afternoon.”

“[Y/N] [L/N], daughter of Hephaestus, carrier of the Inferno, you are a long way from home.” The sentry spoke. It wasn’t Ultron.

“Who are you?”

“We are the eidolons, and we’ve come for your life!”

“Oh, that’s great!” Two more sentries woke up, their heads turning towards you. “Can I get some peace and quiet for just ONE DAY!?”

“You will never escape your fate. Or your heritage. You are a demigod! It is your nature to hide! To fight. To die......”

“Leave. Me. Alone. I built those machines, I know how to turn it off. I know every weakness.”

“Bah! Stalling won’t get you anywhere!” You bolted and the eidolons chased after you. Granted, they were slow, until they started powering up the thrusters. They cackled maniacally as they almost reached you before there was a loud blast. You stopped to see Ultron rush to you.

“Are you okay?”

“Your body, I didn’t finish it.” You gasped.

“Are you okay?”

“Um yeah, I’m fine.”

“What were those things?”

“Eidolons. They possess anything. I mean anything.”

“Goddamn.”

“Sorry, that’s three sentries down.”

“No no, at least you’re fine. Also, what other metal did you add to my body?”

“Oh, I.....I also added in celestial bronze. It’s a heavenly metal that doesn’t rust and in case if any monsters attacked you, it can easily suffocate them. It drains the monster’s powers.”

“Don’t you need that metal for your weapons?”

“Eh, we have enough.”

“Go get some rest, you’ve done a lot.”

“Ultron—“

“Rest. Or do I have to carry you to your room and tuck you in?”

“I mean, you don’t have to, but you could.” You grinned as Ultron rolled his eyes. “Okay, I’ll walk there myself......one problem, I forgot the room.” Ultron chuckled as he swept you off your feet, carrying you to your room.

A/N: Damn, this chapter is really long :O hope you enjoyed it!! I need some requests for chapter five? So if you want to drop some ideas in the inbox, that would be much appreciated! Thank you!

[grimelords]

Hello I finished my July playlist a week ago but when I went to post it tumblr was down, and then I just plumb forgot! Anyway, here it is - properly sequenced this time for a very special listening experience that seamlessly delivers you from disco heaven to black metal hell and everything in between. Also I’m thinking of making these playlists a tinyletter that people can subscribe to that comes out on an actual schedule, rather than me posting them at a random time weeks after they’re finished. Is that something you’d be interested in? Who knows. Check back next month! Anyway, here goes:

listen here

Stay Away From Me - The Sylvers: You know when you’re listening to a song and the sample is super hot but the rest is just ok, so you think to yourself well why don’t I just listen to the original instead? That’s what happened to me with Final Form by Sampa The Great. That song is good but it’s also kind of not doing enough to convince me not to just listen to this super hit by The Sylvers instead. A fun thing with this song is to try to count how many instruments you can hear because it is surprisingly densely arranged for some reason. There’s a xylophone back there going off if you listen.

Sizzlin’ Hot - Paradise: The same thing happened with this song and Sizzlin’ by Daphni. I think they were going for an Armand Van Helden style distillation of the pure essence of the song, sampling the hookiest part and speeding it up and thickening up all the percussion and all that, which can work amazingly but for me it just made me want to hear the original and so I have been all month. What’s so good about being alive now is that in most cases it’s just as easy to access music from 2019 as it is to access music from 1981 where an original copy is apparently going for $1000 on discogs. Every day I thank god for inventing mp3s and putting them on the ark.

Manaos (Canzone) - Fabio Frizzi and Crossbow: I forget how I came across this, I was going through random Fabio Frizzi soundtracks for some reason. I just love the concept of a disco song about escaping from vicious assailants. Funkily singing ‘God help us, if they catch us we all are gonna die.’ as spears fly past you.

Holding On - Julio Bashmore: I think this is one of my favourite pieces of sampling ever. The way the vocals in the background are cut they don’t even sound like vocals. They just a strange contextless textural sound that works so well before eventually revealing itself as vocals in the run before the drop. It’s just so good.

Weight Watchers - Parallel Dance Ensemble: First of all I love this disgusting bass sound. It sounds like two different indistinct bass lines playing at the same time and they both drowned. I’m also mounting a change.org petition to bring back this kind of extremely naff Tone Loc flow, it rocks.

Dance - ESG: I found this incredible band while I was looking for the rapper ESG and I’m so glad I did. Their song UFO is one of those songs that’s been sampled so many times you think of it as more of a sound effect than a song, like it comes preloaded on a drum machine everyone has or something, but it’s also a good template for ESG’s sound. Every ESG song I’ve heard so far goes like this: a straightforward beat that doesn’t change for the whole song, a functional bassline that doesn’t change for the whole song, and good old fashioned simple lyrics about dancing and having a good time that sound more like schoolyard clapping games than anything. It doesn’t sound like much but over the course of an album it adds up to this incredible sort of hypnotic post-punk funk that I cannot get enough of. It sounds like kids who have 1 idea making a whole album out of it because that’s exactly what it is and it’s great!

Crave You - Flight Facilities: I love how elementally simple this song is. The vocals are hypnotising enough so everything else just quietly supports it. The only part that stands out is the thick bass synth halfway through which makes the short sax solo at the and all the sweeter, a tiny little cherry on top.

You - Delta 5: Get a load of this band bio: “Initially inspired by the success of local heroes The Mekons and Gang Of Four, Leeds, England’s Delta 5 later emerged as one of the key figures of the feminist new wave. Formed in 1979 by vocalist/guitarist Julz Sale, fretless bassist Ros Allen and bassist Bethan Peters.” Just going to gloss over them having TWO bass players before they even have a drummer?? Absolutely amazing. I love this song because it’s such a specific, targeted fury. Imagine being the loser at your girlfriend’s gig when she launched into this one for the first time. ‘who’s got homebrew with lots of sediment?’ oh fuck that’s me ‘who took me to the Windham for a big night out?’ oh fuck that’s me ‘I found out about you’ oh FUCK

Siren - Gong Gong Gong: I love the way the bass works in this, just looping and layering different variations of this noisy, stationary riff on top of itself - steadfastly staying in the exact same place the whole song and growing in power the whole time as it sits in its stubbornness.

Changes - Antonio Williams and Kerry McCoy: This came up on my Discover Weekly and I completely fell in love with it, then I realised it’s Antwan and Kerry McCoy from Deafheaven which is extremely intriguing collaboration and fell in love even more. The vocals are so good. The pure broken-hearted anguish, and the super blunt delivery that progresses to straight up yelling by the end of it combined with the Radio Dept type instrumentation is just so powerful. This feels like it’s a song that could really be a life-changing piece of catharsis for everyone in a 5k radius done live.

Fuck A War - Geto Boys: Absolutely in love with the conceit of this song: rapping a whole song down the line to the army drafter. The incredible part being of course that Bushwick Bill would be able to dodge any draft easily, being as he was both a dwarf and blind in one eye.

God Make Me Funky - The Headhunters: I found a lot of great songs going through the samples list for We Can’t Be Stopped by Geto Boys and this is one of them. I have so much love for any song that takes its time like this: nearly two minutes to set the scene and somehow taking deadly seriously the very funny lyrical idea of desperately praying to god to PLEASE make you funky.  The way this song escalates is also amazing, moving from a hot groove that sits in place to a full-on saxophone meltdown that feels like god placing his finger on your forehead and saying ‘so you want to be funky, do you?’ in a scary voice.

Use Me - Bill Withers: Fortunately and unfortunately, because of how this song was in Anchorman and because I’ve seen Anchorman one million times I can’t listen to it without hearing the noise Ron Burgundy makes when he sees Veronica in the first few seconds. Anyway, this song is so horny. The part where he has to explain to his bro how good this shit is? Doing all kinds of weird dom shit like ‘getting him in a crowd of high class people and then acting real rude to him?’ Weird. And the escalation into the claps at BABY! is amazing, he’s just going off powered by horniness and god bless him for it.

America! I’m For The Birds - Nicolas Jaar: Unbelievably, the deluxe edition of Sirens is possibly superior to the original. It’s a whole new tracklist, new songs interspersed throughout rather than the usual ‘three new songs at the end’ and it really gives it a whole new feel. This song is my favourite of the new ones and it’s a song I had in my head for a solid week. A perfect song to sing to yourself because the lyrics are so indistinct that you just end up mumbling pleasantly exactly like he is.

Cable Guy - Tierra Whack: I’m finally catching up on Tierra Whack and everyone’s right: she rocks. The sheer restraint in these songs is amazing, they just get in and out with only the good parts and no bullshit. It reminds me a lot of To The Innocent by Thingy which is one of my favourite albums for the same reason - the economy of the songwriting just serves to amplify the feeling of it. They both have this total irreverence in the lyricism where the songs are kind of about nothing but they’re so short and heartfelt that you dig for the feeling underneath it.

No Drug Like Me - Carly Rae Jepsen: I’ve previously written that what I love the most about the Carly Rae Jepsen is how horny it is and I’d like to double down on that sentiment here. I love how slow this song is, it’s the perfect tempo between danceable and ‘fucking’.

Con Calma (Remix) - Daddy Yankee, Katy Perry and Snow: I’ve been on a european holiday for most of this month and I would like to report that across Spain, Portugal, Czech Republic, France and Germany this is the absolute song of the summer. It is completely inescapable and personally I can’t get enough. Informer is one of the greatest and strangest one hit wonders of all time (it’s also canada’s highest selling reggae song of all time and Snow is thusly named because he’s white) and I’m psyched to hear it reworked by Daddy Yankee like this. Katy Perry being on the crossover attempt remix isn’t a good sign for her new album but she kills it so maybe that’s all that matters.

Chase The Devil - Max Romeo and The Upsetters: Here’s the other half of my short lived dub phase from the end of last month. This is a good example also of how completely beguiling lyrics can still be so effective. I have no idea what he means by putting on an iron shirt but it rhymes and he’s saying it with conviction so I’m nodding!

Glass - Bat For Lashes: The new Bat For Lashes songs have got me revisiting Two Suns which is an all time great five star album and this is my favourite song from it. Maybe the most powerful opening track of all time, it does as much worldbuilding as most fantasy novels do in 1000 pages. In fact almost every line in this is a viable fantasy novel title. A Thousand Crystal Towers. The Hand Of The Watchmen. A Knight In Crystal Armour. A Cape Of Rainbow. The way she sings ‘to be made of glass’ is.. incredible. I love Natasha Khan and I cannot wait to see what she does next.

Unsquare Dance - Paddy Milner: In searching spotify for other interpretations of Unsquare Dance after getting obsessed with it last month I came across this absolutely bonkers version. It’s maniacal, it feels like you would be physically and mentally drained by the end playing it because I am just listening to it. Need a little lie down.

Gimme Some Skin, My Friend - The Andrews Sisters: My girlfriend has turned me onto The Andrews Sisters lesser known hits recently and this is the best one: a song from when high fives were a novelty that those wacky blacks over in Harlem town were inventing. Extremely odd but an undeniable banger. The thing about The Andrews Sisters is one of them was an absolute force of nature as a performer and the other two were complete wet blankets and it’s kind of funny they were together as a group for their whole career because anyone with eyes can see where the real star is. The way she sings ‘baby’ at 1:25, and that whole run really, is absolutely amazing and so much better than this extremely dumb song deserves.

Kids On The Run - The Tallest Man On Earth: The piano sound alone in this is just so beautiful. This song could be about anything at all and it would still make me cry, and luckily for me: it basically is!

King Of Spain - The Tallest Man On Earth: Good song I had in my head the whole time I was in Spain. It’s incredible that his voice is so good. It feels like if it was even the tiniest bit different, slightly rougher or tinnier he would be completely hilariously unlistenable but instead he’s amazing. Plus the fact that he leans into it with the purposefully lo-fi trebly production is just so confident you can’t help but love it.

Romeo And Juliet - The Indigo Girls: A great cover I wasn’t aware of before that I heard in this great documentary Wildwood I was watching https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOWxnh012J0. The way she absolutely flies off the handle and nearly tears the song down around her near the last chorus is pure power and I love people who can do that in an acoustic song without it feeling overblown, just getting totally swept up in it and taking everyone along with you.

On The Bus Mall - The Decemberists: Definitely the number one song about gay teenage prostitutes who love each other and are optimistic against the odds.  

White Fire - Angel Olsen: This song feels like a piece of dark magic. It feels like a 4am moment of clarity, speaking everything true in a five minute monotone and then instantly falling back to sleep with only a dim memory in the morning.  

Glass Eyes -JW Ridley: JW Ridley is a genius and I cannot wait to see what he does with an album. Every song he puts out seems to be better than his last. The central melody in this is just beautiful, and the whole thing has so much space in it it feels so much longer than 3 minutes. It’s like a song you can live in.

Nullarbor - Floodlights: I love how rough this song is, and driving across australia because you’ve got nothing else going on and want to rattle your own cage is a Huge mood.

Made Too Pretty (Audiotree Live Version) - As Cities Burn: I’m so glad As Cities Burn are back, because it means they get to do good shit like this Audiotree session where they absolutely killed it.

Dirty Hearts - Dallas Crane: I think I’ve put this on a playlist before for exactly the same reason: it’s a song I wake up with in my head fairly often for some reason and it’s a very fun slice of pub rock that doesn’t overstay it’s welcome.

Ruin This Smile - The Number 12 Looks Like You: Did you know The Number 12 Looks Like You have reformed after 10 years away and haven’t missed a step at all?? I’m salivating. This song is as good as anything they’ve put out before, and feels like it fits somewhere between Mongrel and Worse Than Alone which is fantastic news for me who always loved those a lot more than their earlier more explicitly grindcore stuff.

Nutrient Painting - Yellow Eyes: A special thanks to my friend and yours Powerburial for linking this song on his twitter. There’s something about the guitars in this song, in almost every riff, where it sounds like they’re playing backwards somehow. Like the structure of the melodies is backwards. It doesn’t make sense but that’s what it sounds like to me and it’s very disconcerting.

Jejune Stars - Bright Eyes: I think this an underrated Conor Oberst era, when he became a sort of buddhist for a while and wasn’t sad anymore but just observed earth from outer space instead. I also love the instrumentation of this song, Bright Eyes and blast beats a match made in heaven. Also the strange sample about pom’granite at the end is one of my favourite things ever. A very strange album to retire the Bright Eyes name on but a very good one too.

At The Bar - Dirty Three: When I was overseas I was thinking about cultural music, and Australia’s place in the world and things like that. I ended up thinking about Dirty Three who I think along with The Drones make the most distinctly Australian sounding music to me. Just the vastness they manage to conjure from such straightforward barebones instrumentation is incredible.

listen here

[whereismywizardhat]

I know I’m not the first one to say it, but the thing that has really been driving me mad every time I devote brain space to The Rise of Skywalker is that it is a thematically dead movie, that not only cheapens its own trilogy, but the original trilogy too.  Like, every negative stereotype of the sequel trilogy is represented in force.

I hated this movie.  I truly loathed it.  I put spoilers under the cut but the basics are that I’ve been ruminating on it since I saw it opening night and it’s made me more mad the more I turn my brain back on.  Any good reviews of this movie you see are probably because this movie moves faster then the Millennium Falcon, shooting stupid, pointless sequence after stupid pointless sequence into your brain so quickly that it makes you forget that what it’s showing to you is utterly banal and gross.

I think that the Sequel Trilogy is, ultimately, a failure.  A lot of people believe Return of the Jedi is the weakest of the original trilogy, that cast fatigue and the beginnings of Lucas’s drawbacks showing as a writer hurt that film overall.  If that’s the case, then The Rise of Skywalker shatters it’s predecessors because the film’s contempt for the Last Jedi in turn tells you that none of it was worthwhile.  The Last Jedi was a flawed film, but it was trying to drag Star Wars into a place that was healthy for the franchise.  Rise of Skywalker says “No”, and tells you that the sequel trilogy was afterall nothing but digging up the corpse of the Original Trilogy and parading it in front of you one last time.

Rey being born of nobody was important both as a way of getting away from the weird eugenics thing that Star Wars courted as Anakin Skywalker went from “Powerful Jedi” to “Virgin Birth Chosen One”, and as a way of differentiating herself from her nemesis.  Kylo Ren is the heir to some great dynasty, Rey comes from nothing, it’s part of their yin/yang thing.  Making her a dynasty too destroys that, brings back the eugenics in full force, AND adds a bunch of plotholes to boot.  “They sold you to save you” is probably the worst dialogue I’ve ever heard, including Anakin’s attempts at flirting under Lucas’s pen.

Palpatine being alive is... nonsensical.  A desperate plea for forgiveness to twitter after not explaining Snoke.  Going in, I assumed it was an evil force ghost, the sequel’s equivalent of that period from Legends where Palp’s rapidly decaying clones were being burnt through and he tried to possess Leia’s baby in the womb.  Not so much.  It seems Palp just... kind of appeared through a plot hole.  Exxegol is fine as a base, I thought it was Korriban/Morriband and was disappointed that they didn’t go with the Sith planet (except they did, I guess Sith all use the same firm for designing their ).

Which goes into Kylo Ren.  Adam Driver was really just... not given anything to do (a recurring problem).  To his credit, the character is on the ball for the first half of the story.  It’s just... all chemistry with Rey is gone, a problem Finn has too.  The movie doesn’t have time to take a breath to allow the actors to emote at each other, and Kylo takes the worst of it because he’s already a terse character and the mask is back so you don’t even get his face.  The film gives one moment that works with Kylo: his vision of Han.  I’ve seen some comments on this that didn’t like it, but to me it’s quite obviously the light side equivalent of Rey’s evil Rey scene.  Rey looks forward and sees evil, Kylo looks backwards and sees a version of the first films climax with what he was supposed to do.  It’s... the one moment in the entire film where I felt like there was some actual craft in what was going on.  That’s without getting into how robbed Kylo Ren was as a villain.  The Last Jedi basically set up Kylo Ren as the ultimate big bad, having achieved everything Vader wanted.  Here, he’s back to being a lackey of a weirdo in a bathrobe, who doesn’t even have the benefit of being a force ghost who he can’t stab. 

I mentioned Finn before.  Finn has... no presence in this film.  He screams after Rey, he gets a one film love interest while the previous movie’s love interest kinda just sits there scowling in the background while a hobbit whose name I didn’t catch gets more lines, he has some force sensitivity but the kind from the original movie where you squint at the screen and learn what the audience just saw while Rey has taken levels in D&D paladin.  He has about the same amount of significance in this film as Obi-wan did in Phantom Menace, that is to say none except we know he’s an important character in a movie that came out before this one and he gets one action sequence near the end.

Poe makes out slightly better, taking up a lot of screen time.  Poe has never been a consistent character in this trilogy.  One movie he’s a compassionate cool dude, the next he’s a fuckup cowboy who doesn’t play by the rules, this one is he’s a weird stand in for Han Solo, being handed Han’s smuggler backstory and acting like Han did in ESB’s first half (without the UST with Rey).  He is just as unimportant as Finn, but ALSO has to be given a lot of screen time to actually establish some rapport with his castmates because he wasn’t previously given any time with Rey and only a small amount of time with Finn.

The supporting cast from previous movies... may as well not exist.  Other then Leia, all the original trilogy characters are just around.  Chewie gets a fake out death.  Lando shows up, gives a speech, and disappears til the end.  Wedge makes a cameo ten second after his stepson dies and has no reaction to that, and the only reason I know that is because I’m so invested in Wedge that I bought the tie-in novel because it had him in it.  In fact, most of the supporting cast from Force Awakens dies.  Snap, Hux... that’s about it.  I’m sure they would have killed off Rose if JJ thought that letting her languish in the background with no lines wasn’t a worse fate for the character.  As previously noted, one of the Hobbits from LoTR has a bigger role then she does.  The movie also introduces an entire legion of runaway Stormtroopers... for no reason other then to introduce Finn’s third love interest in three movies, Tika.  She’s fine.  I’ve heard there’s a deleted scene that says she’s Lando’s daughter kidnapped by the FO.  Glad we got the weird “Who’s Your Daddy?” thing out of the way with this side character before the fans bullied the director into retconning it to being Mace Windu’s secret love child.

Consistently, this movie feels like a fever dream fan fiction with a budget.  I consider A New Hope’s original cut to be the platonic ideal for an adventure film in terms of pacing.  Prologue, Three Acts on Three Planets, with the tension ratcheting up with each planet.  It’s follow up is a slower, more cerebral film after a bombastic opening.  Rise of Skywalker takes neither option, instead going for a hypnotic, Fincher-esque pacing with no brakes.  It doesn’t want you to realize what you’re watching is shlock.  What isn’t a calculated spit in the face of it’s predecessor, The Last Jedi, is a stab at the hypothetical second JJ Abrams Star Wars film which didn’t exist to reference back to.  Rise of Skywalker exists, and it exists to appeal to the most toxic elements of the Star Wars fanbase.  I don’t think it’s salvageable.

Somewhere, out there, there is a version of Rise of Skywalker that is thematically coherent.  Maybe there’s one that actually follows up on it’s predecessor like... every other Star Wars saga film instead of an imagined film that didn’t happen.  I dunno.  Regardless, it really makes me question whether Disney actually understands what they’re doing, or if it’s all just luck and nonsense that let them become a monopoly.

I guess it wouldn’t seem so awful if the Mandalorian wasn’t just sitting there.pursuing a part of the Star Wars universe that feels fresh and original rather then ruining better films.

[yourpharma360]

How Ambien Works ?

The Ambien defense was also utilized in the event of Julie Ann Bronson, a flight attendant from Texas.  Bronson took a few Ambien to help her sleep.  She went to bed early, and was drinking wine earlier in the afternoon.  She awakened in jail, still in her pajamas, barefoot and terrified.  She was horrified when she had been told that she had run such as an 18-month-old woman who suffered severe brain damage as a result of the mess.  "It was surreal.  It was just like a bad dream."  In May of 2012, Bronson pleaded guilty to the felonies of intoxication assault and failure to stop and render aid.  "I did the crime but I never planned to do it," she testified.  "I wouldn't hurt a flea.  And if I would have hit on somebody, I'd have stopped and helped.   Ten decades bronson faced, but as a result of this Ambien defense, she will serve six months in prison and have ten years of probation.

What is Ambien 10mg 

It was only in Patrick Kennedy's 2006 middle-of-the-night vehicle accident and explanation to arriving officers that he had been running late to get a vote the eccentric side effects of Ambien began to receive national attention.  Kennedy claimed the sleeping aid had been obtained by him and had no recollection of those events and Buy Ambien Online Overnight .

On March 29, 2009, 45, Robert Stewart, stormed to the Pinelake Health and Rehab nursing home in Carthage, North Carolina and opened fire, killing eight people and wounding two.  Stewart target was his estranged wife, who was employed as a nurse.  She hid in a bathroom and was unharmed.   Though there was evidence that Stewart's actions were premeditated (he allegedly had a target), Stewart's defense team successfully argued that since he was under the effect of Ambien, a sleep aid, at the time of the shooting, he was not in control of his activities.  Instead of the fees Stewart was convicted on eight counts of second-degree murder.  142 -- 179 years was received by him.

Ambien Overdose

As a result of this Schweigert verdict, an attorney used the Ambien defense by asserting his client's arrest had been shifted six months following by the drug's labeling to overturn a 2006 DWI conviction for a New Jersey woman.  The court agreed, stating it would be an"injustice to hold her accountable for the side effects of a popular and readily available medication that she was lawfully prescribed and properly handled." Not many prosecutors will consider the Ambien defense, and its position within criminal rules that are established is tenuous.  It doesn't actually fall under"voluntary intoxication," in which somebody is responsible for their intoxication and some other events that happen as a consequence of that intoxication.  The Ambien defendants took the medication, but they weren't aware they were drugging themselves in a means that could produce anything other.   The defendants knowingly took the medicine, because they're recorded as potential side effects in the information, and also the responses weren't unpredictable.  In the end, there's the"unconsciousness/sleepwalking" defense, where the individual is not responsible for the crime if he did not intentionally cause the sleepwalking or unconsciousness.  So that this defense does not really apply the whole motivation for taking Ambien at the first area is to create unconsciousness.

Ambien 5mg vs Ambien 10mg

After its approval, Ambien Dose rose to dominance in the sleep aid industry.  Travelers declared by it to fight jet lag, and girls, who suffer more insomnia purchased it.  Sanofi, the French manufacturer of Ambien, made $2 billion in earnings in its summit.  In 2007 Ambien's generic version was published, Zolpidem, and in less than $2 a tablet, it remains among the most prescribed medications in the usa, outselling painkillers such as prescription and Percocet strength ibuprofen. Not everyone who engages in bizarre behavior of accepting Ambien as a result ends up in trouble.  And a few people today enjoy the large they get from the drug so much they are willing to miss the blackouts and effects that result.  Recreational users started out taking the drug to treat insomnia, but discovered that if they fought the sleep-inducing effect of the drug, they could get really high.  "It's like having that drink in the pub when you realize you need to go home -- I would combat the pill's effects and stay up, often telling my friends mad things like how to turn the light inside the room in energy, or the way that paintings of forest scenes in their walls were actually drawings of mermaids bathing themselves into blood," writes one young woman whose dependence on Ambien caused increasingly bizarre and alienating behavior.  She continued staying awake regularly until one morning she awakened with a cut and two black eyes across her nose and taking the pill.  Her cushions were bloody, and a stranger was, wrapped in a rug, on her floor and naked.   This situation jarring, was not sufficient to get her to give Ambien up; the high was too good.   It wasn't until she was discovered wandering the Brooklyn streets in the middle of the night, almost nude, that she managed to give it up.

Guideline For Ambien 10mg 

Ironically, you are likely to succeed with the Ambien defense should you injure or kill someone than if you crash into a car or a tree.  DWI laws just need the prosecution to show that the defendant got and was loaded into a vehicle to drive.  There's no requirement.  When someone is hurt, nevertheless, it is up to the prosecutor to demonstrate that the suspect was conscious enough to become guilty of the crime.  It's hard to claim that they have knowledge of their actions, if people on Ambien are behaving in an automatic, or unconscious state.  That's why people prefer Lindsey Schweigert get permits while Donna Neely, that was sleep-driving on Ambien and murdered a mother of 11, was acquitted of vehicular manslaughter. Tiger Woods was also famously associated with Ambien when one of his mistresses claimed that she and the golfer could have"crazy Ambien sex"  Ambien reduces inhibitions and erases memories, an perfect combination for someone who's cheating on his spouse.  The buzz created by the drug seems to boost sex.  One girl described feeling"quite relaxed and sensuous" when she had sex on Ambien.  "I suddenly have floaty energy.  .  I am tired, but lively.  It's almost like I'm at a state.  I could compare it somewhat to weed, but nothing I've done really contrasts, in all honesty."

Ambien is one of the best dose 

Lindsey Schweigert took one Ambien Sleeping Pills  prior to getting into bed at 6pm.  She woke up with no idea how she'd gotten there.  In the following weeks, Schweigert pieced together the events of the night.  She'd gotten out of bed, drawn a tub, and left the house.  After leaving her house she began driving to a local restaurant but crashed shortly.  She was explained by police as glassy-eyed and swaying.   The flipside to Ambien's supposed attributes is the fact that it's becoming increasingly used as a date rape drug.  Actually, the single case of"sleep-sex" that appeared at an 2008 medical journal review of case reports on Ambien-related sleep behaviors involved the Ambien taker being raped.  The identical absence of inhibition together with amnesia which makes it possible for people indulge in behavior that is dishonest, to commit offenses, and also have sex on Ambien is an ideal formulation for a sexual predator.  Ambien is also readily accessible and more widely accessible than rohypnol, the drug related to date rape.

Ambien Overnight 

Schweigert had.  She had never been in trouble with the law and was scared of losing her job and having a criminal record.  Prosecutors initially wanted to inflict a six month jail sentence as well as other punishments, but Schweigert's lawyer contended that Lindsey's bizarre behaviour on the night in question was a result of a drug which cautioned right on the tag that"After taking AMBIEN, you may get up from bed whilst not being completely awake and perform an activity that you do not understand you are doing.   In fact, the attorney argued, Schweigert must have been taken to jail, not to a hospital.  Prosecutors dropped the charges and enabled Lindsey to plead to the lesser charge.  

Shortly Ambien users resisted Sanofi because of eccentric behaviours while.  Based on attorney for the class action suit, Susan Chana Lask, folks were eating things like buttered eggs and cigarettes, complete with all the shells, while under the sway of Ambien.   He blames Ambien, but for lapses in his memory within five decades and an extended period of writer's block.  "...a great deal of my memory is gone.  If you've ever taken Ambien, I don't know, but it's kind of a memory-eraser.  This shit wiped out five decades of my life.  People might tell me stories, and it's like,"I did that?"   Eminem has maintained a few of his writing from this period, confessing to Rolling Stone that"It fucking out me...Letters all down the page -- it was like my hands weighed 400 pounds.  I have that shit.  As a reminder that I don't ever wish to go back."

Final Words

A part of the category of drugs known as hypnotics, ambien, was accepted by the FDA in 1992.  It was designed for short-term use to fight insomnia and was a welcome change in the prevailing sleep aid at the moment, Halcion, which had been implicated in psychosis, suicide, and addiction and had been banned in half a dozen countries.  Ambien works by activating the neurotransmitter GABA and binding it at precisely the exact same place as the benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Valium.  The extra GABA action triggered by the drug inhibits.  To put it differently, the brain is slowed down by it.  Ambien is effective at initiating sleep working within 20 minutes.  Unless it's taken in the release type, it does not, however, have an impact on sustaining sleep.

[xxxthe-grammar-nazixxx]

Shoot

This is a Robert Sheehan fanfic.  All liberties taken are mine alone. Medium level sex scene.  Based on a photo shoot that was very inspiring!  

‘OMG it’s him!’

‘Who him?’ I was too busy going through the last batch of prints at my desk to pay much attention to what my two off-siders were whispering about. They’d been giggling by the water cooler like Beavis and Butthead for the last five minutes, staring at someone in the foyer, no doubt. It never failed to amuse me how, no matter how many celebrities we met and photographed for our online entertainment magazine, my makeup artist and hairstylist could still turn into a couple of total fangirls at the sight of a pretty, famous man.

They either didn’t hear me or weren’t brave enough to say the name out loud for fear of him – whoever he was – overhearing, so I let it go and walked the prints over to reception. ‘Stella these have the name and contact details on them, can you mail them off for me?’

Stella nodded. ‘Of course. Standard post or express?’

‘It’s pretty urgent.’

‘Express post then.’

‘So, who’s my next lamb to the slaughter?’ I asked her.

‘Robert Sheehan.’

‘Who?’

Stella’s brown, perfectly made-up eyes widened. ‘Are you actually kidding me? The guy’s show is one of the biggest things on Netflix at the moment! The Umbrella Academy?’

‘Haven’t had time. Seriously, how do you people manage to binge-watch TV all day with full-time jobs?’

‘Because we’re not workaholics like you.’ Stella replied, with a laugh. ‘Seriously, you should watch it.’

I screwed up my nose. ‘Superheroes, right? Doesn’t really sound like my kind of thing.’

‘How do you know it’s not your kind of thing unless you watch it?’ Stella said, reproachfully.

‘She’s got a point, you know.’

I sighed. ‘He’s right behind me, isn’t he?’

Stella exploded into giggles. I shook my head at her and turned to find my next subject indeed right behind me.  

He smiled. ‘Not a fan, I take it?’

Hm. Roughly six foot or over, lean but not too skinny, nice green eyes, dimple – okay, I had to admit, I could sort of see what all the fuss was about. His curly dark hair could do with a comb and some product though. I knew I was thinking like a photographer but that was my default setting.

‘It’s not that,’ I told him. ‘I just … haven’t seen your show. I could be a fan.’ I winced. ‘Don’t go over to the competition, please. My boss will kill me.’

He laughed. ‘I don’t even know who the competition is, so I think you’re safe there.’

 I liked his accent too. ‘What part of Ireland are you from?’

‘Port-Laoise,’ (He pronounced it Port Leesh).  ‘I know… practically nobody’s heard of it. It’s not well-known like County Cork or Dublin. It’s a little country town.’

‘Nice. Well, Stu gave me a bit of a heads-up on where to go with this, so are you ready?’

‘Ready as I’ll ever be.’

‘Great.’ I turned to Britt and Ella. ‘You two want to stop standing over there like props and get organized?’

Britt’s jaw dropped. ‘Can we watch?’

‘That would be up to Mr. Sheehan.’

‘Just Robert’s fine. I’m no Mister,’ he joked. ‘I … okay … sure, I guess.’

‘Girls, he’s probably sick to death of being ogled at from all angles,’ I told them. ‘Ten minutes, and then you’re out.’

                                                          ****

 To their credit, Britt and Ella did an amazing job. Not that this guy needed much of anything in the way of makeup or what Britt liked to call “floofing”.  But they’d taken one look and decided on the theme. His hair had been straightened and worked into a kind of punk rock bouffant. Like Elvis, but more extreme. Black kohl liner exaggerated the olive green of his eyes. Ella had decided on a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the buttons unfastened to mid-torso. The black and white striped stretch pants looked like something Freddie Mercury would wear in the 70’s – or Michael Hutchence might have worn now, if he’d been alive. Had to admit, for all their fangirling, my employees knew how to dress a man so that you’d want to undress him!

‘Is this okay?’ He walked out of the dressing room patting down the back of his hair, self-consciously. ‘Leave it alone,’ Britt laughed, ‘You’ll wreck all my good work.’

‘It looks great. Suits you.’

‘Thanks. So um … what’s the plan?’

We worked steadily for the next ten minutes while Britt and Ella stood watching from the doorway of the dressing room. After that I gave them permission to buzz off for the day, but I hardly believed they’d take me at my word. Either way it didn’t matter – the door stayed closed. Even Stella left as she had to catch an early train.  I was on my own with a client – not something I regularly planned for as it bent the rules a little bit – but you had to see this guy to understand. I’d photographed male models before, guys whose natural beauty gave me goosebumps in all the right places. But the trouble with them was they knew it and played on it.  I’m not saying Robert didn’t fully realize the effect he had on women.  He knew. He just wasn’t arrogant about it.  In fact, if anything it was the opposite. He was hilarious. He had me in stitches in minutes. It was a good thing the camera was on a tripod because I would have dropped it for sure!

It was when I asked him to improvise a bit that things took a turn for the … well, strange. No, that’s not the word. Let’s just say that I wouldn’t have been surprised if the narrow, horizontal windows near the ceiling of my basement studio were a little bit steamed up …

 He walked toward the camera, slowly, like a tiger biding his time, waiting to pounce. I zoomed in on that face and was glad I did. His grin was like a slow burn, working its way from the pit of your stomach to your thighs. That was when I realized I was holding my breath.  He narrowed those hypnotic green eyes slightly and lifted a finger to his mouth, biting down on it seductively.  My camera kept taking pictures, but I barely noticed my role in their creation. Later I’d go back over the shots and struggle to remember taking some of them. But I never forget the video. I always film a photo shoot, especially if it’s just me in the room with a male client, which doesn’t happen all that often. I always ask permission but it’s more for my protection than theirs. Anyhow, when I returned to the video to make sure I wasn’t running out of battery or flash drive space, I watched Robert in the monitor. He was staring down at his feet, and I wondered what he was thinking about. He lifted his head slowly and glanced at something slightly to the right of the camera, letting out a shaky breath. There was a vulnerability in that one little movement where I kind of felt sorry for the guy, even though there was nothing to pity him for. He was rich, he was incredibly talented, and drop-dead gorgeous. What’s to feel bad about?

‘Are you okay?’ I asked him. ‘Do you need a break?’

He smiled as if the previous moment hadn’t even occurred. ‘No, I’m fine! Honestly, let’s keep going, I’ve got my second wind.’

‘Robert … you would tell me if you felt … objectified, right?’  

He blinked. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I’m just saying … you must have people taking your picture all the damn time. Does it ever get old?’

He shrugged. ‘Sometimes. But that’s the job, you know. Why?’

‘I just … how can I explain this. so it makes sense …’ I bit my lip. ‘You’re a good-looking guy.’

He grinned. ‘Thank you.’

‘And you don’t even fish for compliments. That’s rare. Even when you’re telling some celebrities how great they are, they want to hear more.’

‘Yeah, I’ve met some like that. Quite a few actually.’ He motioned to the sofa under the window. ‘Come to think of it, I might take you up on that quick break, if you don’t mind.’

‘Of course not.’

I went back to reviewing some of the photos until he cleared his throat. I glanced up.

‘You’re not taking a break?’

‘Um … I wasn’t going to …’

‘Come on. Sit down for a bit. Put your feet up. I heard your receptionist say you’re a workaholic. You can relax for five minutes, you know.’

I laughed. ‘I know … All right.’ It wasn’t taking a break, in itself, that made me nervous.  I might have been driven but as far as I knew, I didn’t suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It was having to sit so close to one of the most attractive men I’d ever met, and not allowing myself to get flustered or unprofessional.  All I could think about was whether I had lipstick on my teeth or bad breath.  I ran a hand through my short blonde hair, which had recently been chopped to resemble Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘do in Sliding Doors (thank you, Britt, you’re a doll) and wondered if he thought I looked too butch.

‘I like your hair,’ he said. ‘Is that a new cut?’

‘Yeah … I mean, thanks. How did you know?’

‘I didn’t. You just have that look of someone who had their hair cut recently but isn’t sure of it yet.’

I chuckled. ‘That’s awfully specific.’

He shrugged. ‘I like to read people. I think I’m pretty good at it.’

‘Really? What am I thinking now?’

Robert settled into the vintage chesterfield sofa and crossed one long, lean leg over the other, in my direction. He tilted his head, speculatively. ‘You’re on edge. Nervous. I have no idea why. I’m a fun guy. Not intimidating at all.’

You’re half right, I wanted to say, but that would beg the question – what was he wrong about?

‘Okay, I’ll try to remember that,’ I told him. Relaxing back against the sofa I added, ‘Better?’

‘Marginally, but you still have that tense little line between your eyes.’  He reached over and before I knew what was happening, stroked the skin between my eyebrows with his thumb. It had the odd effect of making me feel sleepy.  ‘There, that’s better.’

I managed a smile despite the tension that still sat in my neck and shoulders. ‘Is that Reiki or something?’

‘No. Just something I picked up somewhere. I forget where. I think they do it to newborn babies who are stressed. It puts them to sleep.’

‘Nearly put me to sleep,’ I admitted, feeling a blush creep into my cheeks.

‘Ah well, then, it worked.’  God, that smirk. That dimple. The confidence, along with the complete lack of arrogance, was undeniably hot. I suddenly wanted to remove my blazer, even though it was roughly 10 degrees outside and not much warmer in my studio.

‘Okay well, we’ve … we’ve had a long enough break. Let’s get back to it …’

Robert laughed. ‘It’s your shoot. What do you want me to do now?’

My face grew warmer. I could think of a few things, but they weren’t appropriate at the time and certainly aren’t printable!  ‘Well first off, a wardrobe change. Why don’t you go and have a look at what’s there?’  While he did that, I took off to the bathroom in the hallway, just outside the studio.  Splashing some water on my face, I managed to dial down the red.  Breath, check, I thought, going through the drill. Pits, check. Heart rate … going a mile a minute. Need to get that down!  Think of something totally not hot. Rupert Murdoch. Dead … anything. Warts. Yeah, that’ll do it. Rotten big carbunkles!

No matter what I did, though, when I walked back into the studio and saw him in a pair of black leather pants and a patterned black and silver shirt open all the way down, with nothing underneath but bare skin, my heart-rate spiked!  I’m going to have a bloody stroke, I realized. He’s gonna make me stroke out, the gorgeous bastard!  

Shucking off my blazer because it was now far too hot in that claustrophobic little studio, I complimented him on his choice. ‘You look like Michael Hutchence,’ I admitted. ‘If he was into wearing guyliner.’

Robert laughed. ‘Well, I’m flattered cos he was one hot piece … am I allowed to say that?’

‘Of course! I’m not about to stop you.’ Damn, I thought. He’s gay. Just my luck!

‘I’m not gay, though, not that there’s anything wrong with that,’ he added, quickly. ‘Not that you care, either, I just …’ he shot me a sideways glance. ‘I just wanted you to know.’

‘Okay.’ I think my heart stopped beating altogether somewhere amongst his garbled confession. If in fact it was a confession. I felt a bit like Forrest Gump – too slow to figure out something that should have been obvious.  Wait, I thought. Does he want me to know he’s straight because he’s into me? Or because he’s worried I’ll go to the ‘zine and spill my guts?  Inside I knew the answer to that but my self-esteem, little destroyer that it was, wouldn’t allow me to gloat.

I’m not sure how it happened. I don’t remember how I got from A to B; I just knew that I had to be kissing him right now, before I lost my nerve. He tasted like coffee and pistachios.  His cologne was something altogether fantastic: citrusy and woody and musky all at the same time. Or maybe the musk part was all him, I don’t know.  

He was a freakishly good kisser. Once the shock of my making the first move wore off, he took charge without overstating it. Which was easy for him because I’m less than five feet two in heels and he towered over me. In less than a minute he had managed to trigger every cliché in the romance writer’s arsenal: my knees were weak, my skin was covered in goosebumps and my heart was pounding like a jackhammer. I had to wind my arms around his neck to keep from dissolving into a puddle of lust on the floor, because his lips and hands were doing things to me that are illegal in some countries!  We kind of shuffle-walked back over to the sofa without breaking contact, and suddenly I was lying beside him, reaching into his shirt to hold my hand over his heart, to see if it was racing as fast as mine.  Not quite but close enough. He responded by slipping his hand beneath the hem of my shirt and running it up along my flank until it reached my bra. His lips left mine and started kissing their way down my throat.  My breath caught as his cool fingers grazed my nipple through the silk. He reached around and unfastened my bra with one hand. Hm, clever, I thought. Dexterous at the very least. How many times have you done that, I wonder? It should have been enough to put me off; to change my mind about this. But he started kissing me again and I lost all notion of caring how many women he’d been with or even what day it was.  His hand cupped my breast, this time free of the bra. He moved from my mouth to my collarbone, and pushing up my top, kissed the skin over my heart. I removed the shirt and bra in one, anxious to get as close to him as possible.  I wanted his shirt off as well. As good as it looked on him, this guy was born to not wear clothes!

He let me push it off his shoulders as his mouth made my nipples so hard they ached. My fingers delved into his thick dark hair, messing up the ‘do Britt had so carefully made look careless. His lips traced a path down the center of my torso, the short whiskers on his chin and upper lip alternating between scratching and tickling my skin. When he reached the waistband of my jeans, I had to stop him. ‘No,’ I whispered. ‘Not that. I’m not … I’m not comfortable with it.’

He glanced up at me. ‘You mean, you don’t want me to go down on you?’

I nodded. ‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t be sorry.’ He shuffled back up beside me. ‘Any particular reason?’

‘I don’t know … just … not today. Okay?’

‘Okay. That’s cool.’  He leaned in and kissed me. ‘I have other ways of making you squirm.’

I quivered at the thought. He unzipped my jeans and tugged them down a little, his hand disappeared between my thighs, cupping me and making its way beneath my underwear. ‘Actually,’ he said, in a husky voice, ‘this is almost better.’  I gasped as he started to stroke, and he grinned, and winked at me. ‘Better vantage point.’

When he had me as wet as I could possibly be, he finally let me move enough to unfasten his leather pants. Before that he’d been determined to make me ‘squirm’, as he put it, and squirm I most certainly did. I was still catching my breath when he produced a condom from a pocket I didn’t even know those pants had. ‘Should never leave me alone in the wardrobe room,’ he joked. ‘I get up to all kinds of hijinks.’

‘You brought that with you?’

‘I always have at least one with me,’ he explained. ‘In my position, I sort of have to. You have no idea how many girls throw themselves at me just because I’m famous. I do have a policy where I don’t shag my fans but … when it comes to women in general, sometimes I’m not as disciplined as I’d like to be. Like now, for instance.’

‘Oh good,’ I murmured, ‘Because I don’t have any.’  I looked up at him. He looked so beautiful lying there on his side, practically naked except for a pair of black jockey shorts and the leather pants around those knees. He kicked both off and hurriedly rolled on the rubber.

‘No rush,’ I said, with a giggle. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’ I reached up and stroked his cheek. I could feel the bristle of new stubble growing through, even as Britt or Ella must have given him a shave in order to apply the makeup for the photo shoot. Those beautiful big green eyes were luminous even in the shadow from the photo-lighting. His skin was golden and his lips … suddenly I regretted my earlier reticence about oral sex. I’d experienced it before of course but it was always awkward, messy and felt almost like an obligation, on both sides. And it almost never, ever made me feel like he’d made me feel a moment ago, with his hand. I wanted to be able to explain that to him but felt stupid and almost prudish. Instead I took him in hand and fondled him until he closed his eyes and bit down hard on his lower lip. Taking that as a signal he was ready to go, I shucked my own pants off and pulled him close, sliding my leg over his hip. He was cautious at first, probably worried about blowing his load too early, but the feel of him inside me was almost too much, anyway. It reignited what had been simmering away for the last few minutes, with a pleasure so sharp it was almost pain.

‘Are you okay?’

I nodded. ‘Keep going.’

He did, but slowly, and we kissed as if we had all the time in the world. He raised himself up on his elbows over me, and I responded by wrapping my legs around his slim hips, holding him inside. His new position gave him leverage, and strength to go harder and faster. Pretty soon it was only a kiss every other thrust, and I don’t know about him, but I felt like I was about to burst out of my skin.

Suddenly, just as I arched my back with release, and he did the same seconds later, I heard a shrill beep, and remembered.

I hadn’t turned the camcorder off.

 THE END.

[waypathfinder]

Crimson Lane - Chapter 12 - The Long Dark Night (part 1)

Moodboard by @ashtyntaytertot 

Beta’d by @kathknight and @ashtyntaytertot

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Chapter Text 

In the crowded streets of Coruscant, Kylo Ren tried to disappear. Sleek and silent as the night, smoothly darting between the churning rapids of busy workers. He swept around them, ghost-like, cutting through breaks in the crowd.

Invisible.

“Ben Solo! Over here!”

The voice had come from behind him, ostentatiously loud enough to make the people beside him stop what they were doing and look around.

Who the fuck knew his real name?

His heart railed against his body and he turned hesitantly. The mall was heaving with workers crowding the path. His gaze followed the walkway ahead to a man wearing a brown leather jacket with dark hair, waving at him.

Poe Dameron.

Kylo grimaced as a string of images surfaced in his mind: an inferno of flames ripping through the quiet night, Poe’s frantic dash outside his home to see the car spitting and snapping with flames.

Kylo had saved his life that night. Not that the imbecile would ever realise.

He doesn’t know it was you. Be friendly. Be quick. Kylo forced himself to smile.

“Ben, buddy! I haven’t seen you in years.” Poe yanked him into a hug and Kylo’s jaw clenched. He hated this, he always had. Even as a boy, whenever he’d fallen over and scraped his knee, Leia would rush out to embrace him. He would run away from her screaming. Tears running down his face and blood gushing from his knee. It had always embarrassed her that she couldn’t comfort her child the way the other mothers could. But Kylo had to move through the pain. To run away from people, not the other way around. People just complicated things.

He pulled back, at the end of his tether.

“Where have you been all these years? What are you doing for work now? How are your parents?” Poe said in an excitable rush.

Before Kylo could answer, Poe turned the conversation back to himself: his family, his successes. Kylo nodded, glassy-eyed and bored. There was the distinct smell of Indian food and his stomach rumbled. Poe kept chatting as Kylo searched along the row of cafes and restaurants, his gaze pausing on an unusual gnarled tree with low-hanging branches, desolate in the winter sun. Small buds dotted the barren branch, but there was one flower, breaking out of the darkness, unfurling pristine white petals.

And that was when he felt it. A shiver that started from his scalp and trickled down his neck. A feeling he got when he was being watched. He stiffened, alert and searching, continuing his monotonous grunts in response to Poe until he saw her —

Their eyes met, and her hand covered her mouth in shock.

“Hey, these are my friends. I’ll introduce you,” Poe said, and the next minute he was being dragged towards her.

Then Kylo noticed the wider scene, a dark hand draped over Rey’s shoulder.

The moment Kylo had first seen her, she had been laughing. Then she saw him and her smile disappeared, replaced by an expression that made him feel uncomfortably nervous… like she knew too much.

“Rey, Finn, this is my old buddy Ben Solo,” Poe said. “We go way back.”

“Solo—as in Senator Organa-Solo?” the man said, Finn, he supposed.

Finn, who liked to put his arm around Rey. Finn, who made her laugh. Finn, whose company she was in without being paid.

“Ex-Senator,” Kylo corrected.

“Not for long though,” Poe interjected.

Kylo stiffened. “What do you mean?”

“She’s back in the fight. Hasn’t she told you?”

“No,” he said darkly. “We’re not on speaking terms. I thought the fact that she was almost killed in office and took half the Resistance with her might have taught her to stop chasing such a fool’s errand.”

“Is that really what you think?” Rey’s drew him in and when he met her eyes, she was no longer in shock standing tall with her arms folded. Defiant and classically Rey. He would almost think it endearing if he wasn’t in so much trouble.

“I think people should know when to quit.”

“And I suppose you’re comfortable with the fact that The First Order has earned almost every government arms contract without going to tender.”

Easy, Rey. He gave her a half smile, strained as it was.

“Anyway,” Finn interrupted loudly. “It’s good to meet you, Solo.”

“You too,” Kylo conceded but only because Rey was watching him like a hawk.

The shook hands and he flinched at the touch of Finn’s sweaty palms. A classic physiological response to attraction. His eyes were bright, and even as he spoke they flitted to Rey.

He can’t stop looking at you, he thought, glancing at Rey. Do you know? Is that how they all look at you? Like you’re the sun after the longest night?

Kylo bristled, a vein throbbing in his forehead. He wiped Finn’s sweat on his pants and reached his hand out to her.

Waiting.

His hand hung in the air, a silent entreaty. Open. She stared at it, pressing her palm against her breastbone as though she were holding her heart in place.

And still, she left him waiting.

“Nice to meet you,” he said, leaving his hand open, stretching it closer to her. Take it! Please. I need to know you still trust me.

She reached out to him uncertainly, filling the empty space in his hand. Her slender fingers felt petite, but strong and calloused. She didn’t look at him but rather at the sight of their hands entwined.    

What had Poe been telling her? What did she think of him now?

Rey, look at me. His grip tightened, more desperate than aggressive.

And this time her hazel eyes met his with gold bursts of colour behind wide pupils, exploding into moss green. It was the first time he’d noticed the palette of colours beneath the midday sun. But while her eyes were brilliant and entrancing, the expression behind them was unreadable, neutral even. She couldn’t be impassive. Not with him.

“It’s good to meet you, Ben.” He was drawn in at the sound of his name on her lips. The soft pucker, the way her tongue touched the roof of her mouth. Why did it sound so different coming from her? But then her eyebrows raised questioningly, and she didn’t need to say it. He already knew.

He was fucked.

And yet, she was still holding his hand. He savoured that connection, the only thing tethering him to the light and to hope that things might get better.

His phone rang and he ripped it from his pocket, grip tightening around the frame as he saw the name Snoke on the screen. In a flash, he pulled his hand out of hers and pushed the “hang up” button as though he might have been deactivating a bomb.

“Poe, I need to get back to work,” Rey said, poker-faced. “I’ll think about what you said.”

Kylo’s eyes snapped to Poe, that jittery excitement palpable on his face. Then she turned and hugged Finn, and he squeezed her just enough to make her giggle. Kylo’s chest tightened at the sight, a seismic panic flooding his system.

Lastly, she turned to Kylo, face neutral, and gave him a quick nod. “Ben.”

His lips parted, trying to think of something to say that would make her stay, to spend a moment alone with her, but she left too quickly.

He watched her walk away, tall, confident and purposeful. Whatever Dameron had told her, he wanted to explain that there was more to the story; that he was working to protect her, that he had always protected her. If only she would come back, he would explain.

But she never gave him a chance.

Crimson Lane

Later that day, Kylo Ren glared down at his shaking hands. He couldn’t go in like this. Clenching and unclenching them, almost hypnotically, he watched the knuckles whitening through his skin. He had spent far too long staring at Snoke’s door.

He knocked and waited.

There was a guttural groan, a pause, and then, “Come in.”

Kylo entered, looking to the left and right of the door before he stalked to the centre of the room, stepping on the zebra skin rug, another innocent creature Snoke had destroyed.

Snoke was sitting at his mahogany desk, a muted gold silk robe draped around his body, exposing the white of his arms, hairless and dotted with age. His hands clutched at the sides of the desk and there was a rhythm to his breathing that was unnerving.

There was something awkward about the position. Kylo looked up at the mounted lion bust behind him, meeting the cold, empty stare of the beast with fixed intensity; anything was better than watching Snoke doing whatever the fuck he was doing.

“Hux said you wanted to see me,” Kylo said at last.

A crooked smile flitted across Snoke’s lips, and he groaned once more, eyes rolling.

“Kylo Ren,” Snoke panted. “Come closer.”

Kylo took a cautious step forward, brows pinched.

“That’s right—Ah,” Snoke sighed. “You really should…”

Snoke shifted, face twitching as though he were trying to catch hold of something in his mind, an invisible target.

His long, bony fingers curled around the edges of the desk and his mouth dropped. “Go harder!” He spat the words with a shower of spray forming little pinpricks of saliva on his desk. And then he must have kicked at something underneath, because the table jolted and there was a muffled cry.

Rey!

Kylo lurched forward, nostrils flaring, heart pounding, and then stopped. Almost as suddenly as he began. It was enough; Snoke had spied the action straight away, it even seemed to add to his enjoyment as his face spasmed and went limp with a sigh.

There was a choking and gagging sound from underneath his desk, and Kylo’s entire body trembled as someone awkwardly climbed out, toppling a chair as she extracted herself from beneath the desk.

“What’s up, Kylo?” Phasma stretched her body out with a coy smile, thumb wiping her mouth.

He’d almost ripped Snoke open right there. He would have done it, cleaved him open if he had to. If he had subjected Rey to his… He couldn’t afford to lose it now. Not yet, not until he had finished this. Kylo turned away, but not before seeing Phasma glide over to the old man and kiss his wrinkled forehead, from the corner of his eye. The vision made his stomach churn.

He pointedly ignored them and focussed instead on an amber watermark blotting the ceiling above Snoke’s desk, still trying to ignore the way Phasma sat on his lap and kissed him like the shrivelled up raisin he was, exchanging knowing glances, always looking back to Kylo.

Snoke whispered something in Phasma’s ear and she left, brushing past Kylo on the way.

“Does Rey swallow it for you, Kylo?” Phasma purred.

“Shut up,” he growled at her, eyes still fixed on the stain

She laughed at him and gave a casual glance back at Snoke. “Always so serious.”

Kylo ignored her, shoving his hands behind his back, clasping them with so much pressure it hurt. The pain grounded him for a moment, helping him to find his centre, even as Snoke’s malevolent laugh rose up. He couldn’t fall apart. Not now. Not yet.

“Why so high-strung?”

Kylo swallowed, gliding his gaze over Snoke, a benign attempt at looking attentive, but in truth unable to stand the sight of him.

“I’ve found San Tekka. He has a holiday let across town, near Naboo. He’s there pretty frequently, according to the landlady.”

Snoke leaned forward, lips wet with hunger.

“Fix this mess.” He pointed to the crooked desk and fallen chair.

Kylo pushed them back into place, heart pounding so loudly in his chest he was sure Snoke would hear.

“Well done, Kylo,” he said, but there was something a little off-kilter in his gaze, a sharp glimmer in his eye.

Kylo continued, “I can go down there tonight.”

“Indeed.” Snoke’s lifeless eyes fixed on him, unblinking. “Luckily, Hux got one up on you. He found his permanent residence in Jakku, not far from the  Niima  outpost.”

“Really?” Kylo’s voice was too high.

“Yes, on Tuanui street. Hux is there now. Extracting information from him.”

“I see.”

“You’re upset.”

“No.” Kylo’s chin shifted, his right eye twitching.

“You are. I would have sent you, Kylo, but no one could find you and you weren’t answering your phone.”

“Has—” He swallowed, throat tightening. “Hux got him to talk?”

Snoke stared at him, letting the silence settle between them.

“He’s found out all he needs. They’re waiting for you now to finish the job.”

Snoke paused, narrowing his eyes at Kylo. “Unless you’re having second thoughts about proving yourself worthy of my trust.”

“I told you I would do it if you needed me to.”

“And I do,” Snoke retorted, his eyes resting on the door. From behind it came the muffled chatter of female voices. “There’s a van waiting out back for you. You and Dom can go there now.”

Kylo nodded, lips tight, his dark eyes darting between the door and Snoke.

Snoke pulled open the top drawer, carefully pulling out a Glock pistol. “Here, you can use this.” He held it out, levelling the barrel towards Kylo, finger at the trigger.

“Pow!” He chuckled as Kylo braced in a sudden rush of fear. “Right between the eyes. Try not to make a mess.”

Kylo pulled the gun towards him. It wasn’t the first time he’d held a gun, but it was the first time he would kill someone with one. The gun was suddenly heavier in his hand, the metal cold and rough.

He placed it back on the table, unable to bear holding it any longer, pulling gloves from his pocket and putting them on. It was too late for that. He’d wipe the prints later, after he finished the job.

“He has cancer,” Kylo said weakly. “I heard it somewhere.”

“Do I care?”

“I thought, if you didn’t want the attention, we could—”

“No, Kylo. If you don’t want attention, then I suggest you get on with your job.” Snoke shuffled over to his cabinet on the wall and opened it with a grand flick of his hands. Taking a step back, Snoke crossed his arms and made a clicking sound with his tongue, scouring over his personal range of playthings, pulling out a dog collar and muzzle.

“Honestly, I thought you would be grateful for this opportunity. To take down the man who would threaten everything we have worked for.”

We. It was funny how Snoke liked to throw that word around. He couldn’t wait to watch it all burn, the First Order, Snoke. All of it.

After snapping at the leash of the dog collar, Snoke narrowed his ice-blue eyes on Kylo.

“For Saturday.” He sneered. “Which one would she like?”

Kylo looked down at his gloves, at the way the leather creaked. He was trembling.

“Well?”

“I have no idea.”

Snoke chuckled. He reached for Kylo’s shoulder, whispering into his ear, “you know Kylo, when the time comes, I will poke her till she squeals like a pig for slaughter.”

His breath stank of expensive aftershave, gin and tobacco. Kylo stared dead ahead, but inside he fought hard to keep every muscle in his body locked in place. He knew, as soon as he lost control, that Snoke would be a dead man.

He couldn’t…

Breathe.

“You do realise, you only have her while I let you, son.”

Kylo tightened his jaw, suppressing his rage. “I paid for her.”

“And I pay for you!” Snoke shouted. “Remember? If I hadn’t saved you, you’d be rotting in prison with a manslaughter charge. How much would they have on you now, Kylo? Now that I have your fucking face on every single job you’ve ever done for me. I’m telling you, son, they will have nothing on me, and everything on you!”

“The minute...” Snoke held out his finger, jabbing Kylo’s chest with it. “The single fucking minute you even hesitate on my orders, you will be in prison and I will drag that girl down here and have her sprawled out on this desk screaming my name—do you hear me?”

Kylo’s couldn’t speak, his words trapped deep in his heart. The only control he had was to stand there, steel-faced, fighting every instinct of his body to rip this man apart.

Not yet. Not yet.

“I said do you hear me!?” Snoke hollered.

Kylo dug his fingernails deep into his palm, the edges of his nails slicing into the leather. His body quaked with a decade of rage, built up, behind an internal dam he had created deep inside. One day it would break, one day he would …

Not yet.

There was a sharp crack across his cheekbone. The pain muted into shock, as Kylo reeled from the realisation that Snoke had struck him with the leash, the buckle tearing the skin down the side of his face. A warm trail of blood ran from his brow to his cheek and he gasped, fighting the urge to reach up and cover his face in defence.

“Fuck you, Kylo!” Snoke’s voice rained down in a mist of hot saliva, his eyes watering and red. “You make me do these things to you.”

Kylo nodded haltingly. His face was exploding in pain, but he gritted his teeth and blinked away rogue tears.

“You must understand, you are the only one I can trust…“

Those words, they were poison. He saw that now. Snoke liked to wrap them in a blanket of praise, but they were still lies and manipulation.

“You believe me, don’t you?” he asked, the words sweet and pliant.

Kylo nodded, gaze burning into the floor before Snoke’s feet.

“San Tekka’s a dead man.”

“And the girl? You’re too involved with her.”

“She’s nothing.”

“There now. You won’t stray again,” Snoke cooed, almost to himself. It was Kylo’s one advantage, for whatever deranged reason, Snoke treasured him. He was the rabid cur he could parade around and scare his opponents.

Snoke’s face broke into a smile, and a single tear zig-zagged through the broken lines of his face. And then he reached out, touching his thumb to Kylo’s cheek, wiping the blood away.

Kylo stiffened. The act of Snoke touching him, intimately, like a father, made his stomach wrench.

“No harm done.” Snoke pulled his hand back, surveying the blood on his fingers, bringing them to his mouth, licking each one clean.

He was a fucking madman.

“Off you go, son,” Snoke said gently, moving back to his computer and turning on the monitor. “As always, I will be watching.”

The first thing Rey noticed when she came in that evening was that Rose wasn’t smiling.

And then, like a flick of a switch, she was.

The moment between the two expressions was terse, quiet, like the wait between thunder and lightning. Rey had watched her back long enough to know when things weren’t right. The hairs on her forearms seemed to stand on end, and the air felt clearer somehow, charged.

“Hey,” Rey said with a smile, casually stepping forward, but still checking every point of the room. “What’s up?”

“Not much,” Rose said, a little stiffly. “You’re early.”

“Where’s Phasma?”

Then the smile reached Rose’s eyes, crinkling into half-moons. She pointed to the bathroom. “In there.”

Almost on cue, there was a loud heave, followed by the sound of liquid sloshing into the toilet bowl, and violent, irate swearing.

“She ate something that didn’t agree with her.”

Rose put two hands in front of her mouth and imitated what Phasma had just been eating, and mouthing the word “Snoke”.

“Oh my God, that’s gross.”

Rose shrugged. “Better her than us though, right?”

Rey nodded, her gaze dropping to the sheer chiffon robe tied around Rose and the white the feather boa tied around her neck. Phasma’s vomiting, Rose’s underwear--it was a reminder of what they were expected to do. Kylo may not have forced her into anything, but he was just one client, and after Friday she would have to share her body with whoever Phasma booked her with.

“What’s up?” Rose asked.

Rey smiled and walked towards the desk, taking Rose’s hands in her own. “I wanted to

make sure that you were okay after last night. I’ve been worried  about you.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just glad Kylo was there to intervene.”

Rose paused as if waiting for something, her lips in a half smile, dark eyes twinkling.

“Maybe he’s not so bad after all?”

“Maybe,” Rey answered and pulled out her phone, pretending to read messages that weren’t there.

“He’s so different with you.”

“Is he?” She didn’t look up, but her voice hitched a note higher than she intended.

“You’re sly as a fox Rey, you damn-well know he is,” Rose smiled, whacking her with the end of her feather boa. “He’s seen the light.”

Rey caught the string of feathers in her hands, pulling one off teasingly. “Keep your damn bird to yourself.”

Rose swatted her across the face with the feathers and they snickered. It was just a moment, a glimpse of childish, carefree laughter. Each of them carrying it on until the moment passed, and their laughter turned into smiles and then silence. The break brought Rey grinding back to thoughts of her lunch with Poe and all the things he had told her about Kylo Ren and the First Order.

Rey lowered her eyes and toyed with the loose feather, pulling it apart until it was destroyed.

“But is that enough?” she mused. “I mean, what about his work for Snoke? Look at what he did to your dickhead client last night. That was nothing to him. The blood, the pain. He hurts people, Rose. Really hurts them.”

“And you sell your body for sex.”

Rey straightened, frowning. “I don’t have a choice.”

“And what makes you think Kylo does?”

Rey shook her head, annoyed. “It’s not the same.”

“Isn’t it?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I need to plug my phone in Snoke’s office. The battery is almost gone.”

She turned to go, but Rose yanked her back.

“No, don’t!” Rose’s gaze darted to the door warily. “Snoke’s already in there with Kylo.”

Snoke. Here. The feel of his disgusting hand touching her, his cabinet of “toys”, the fact he had been watching her and Kylo that first night, that he had seen her naked, moaning and thrusting. She shivered and stepped back.

In the waiting silence, she heard voices from behind the door. They were getting louder, angrier.

“What have they been talking about?”

Rose shifted her gaze to the door and back, her expression returning to the one Rey had first noticed when she had come in earlier.

“Um, you.”

“What!?”

“Just don’t go in there.”

A viperous, snarling voice rose from behind the door.

“The single fucking minute you even hesitate on my orders you will be in prison and I will drag that girl down here and have her sprawled out on this desk screaming my name—”

“Holy shit, Rey," Rose whispered in her ear. “I think you should go upstairs.”

Then, a muffled crack behind the door, a sharp stinging sound that reminded Rey of the way Plutt used to slap the back of her thighs with a belt. The noise made her body jerk back. She couldn’t make out either voice now; they were softer, distorted.

“I mean it. Get upstairs and lock the door. I won’t tell them I saw you.”

She should go.

She should...

“Does Snoke always talk to him like that?” Rey asked, voice shaking. It wasn’t fear making it waver like this. It should have been fear, but it wasn’t.

Rose nodded. “It’s not been this bad for a while.”

The door handle rattled and Rose pulled her back behind the counter until it thundered open, smashing against the wall so hard it chipped the plywood. Rose clasped the table, reaching below for something when Kylo charged out, eyes wild and dark, hair messy, falling across his face like black scars, and from his eye to his cheek there was a gash spilling blood.

“What are you looking at?” he barked at them as the girls stood there aghast, mouths open and speechless.

He charged towards the desk and in one violent sweep he slashed his arm across the desk. The green study lamp scattered into uneven shards on the floorboards, while papers scattered in the air.

That beautiful, haunted face, covered in blood. Rey wanted to ask him what had happened, to demand to know what Snoke had done to him, but even as she opened her mouth to speak, he growled at her.

“What are you doing down here?”

“I—” Rey glanced at Rose, looking for backup.

“Rose. Keys.” Kylo ignored her, planting both hands on the empty desk and leaning over it. “Hurry.”

Rose nodded and searched the drawers, pulling out all the room keys. He pulled the ones marked “8” into his pocket, dark eyes flicking to Snoke’s office as if he were waiting for him to appear.

“I think that’s all of them,” Rose said quickly. “And here, take the master key too. Just in case.”

He nodded, casting a wary eye once to Rey and back to Rose. “Make sure she stays up there.”

“Excuse me?” Rey balked at his order.

He turned to her and pointed upstairs. “Get up to your room and don’t open the door to anyone!”

“No.” Rey crossed her arms and looked him square in the eye.

"Will you do what you're fucking told for once?!"

“Not until you tell me—”

Suddenly, Rey’s world turned upside down and her stomach lurched as Kylo slung her over his shoulder.

“No time,” he muttered.

“What the hell are you doing? Let go!” she shrieked.

But he wouldn’t let go and as the blood rushed to her head, she could do nothing but feel her body tugged up and down as he stormed up the stairs in long awkward strides.

“I can’t believe this,” she hissed the words at his arse, the only part of him she could see other than his long, overgrown legs and feet.

When he still ignored her, she kicked, hands clamouring over his body to find a spot to grab hold. She grabbed his belt and tried to flip her legs over as Master Skywalker had once taught her. For a moment, Kylo almost toppled, swearing under his breath, and then wrapped his arms tighter around her legs in a vice-like hold.

“Keep still,” he hissed at her.

“Damn you, Kylo! When you put me down, I’m going to—”

“I know, now shut up.”

Rey glared at his pants, folding her arms impatiently, as he kicked the door open and threw her onto the bed.

She fell onto her back, disappearing within the goose down duvet, grunting and kicking until she could jump to her feet, puffing and ready to explode. Kylo had wisely taken a step back, just out of arm’s reach.

“Before you start—” he said in a rush, aware that she was about to throw a verbal onslaught his way.

“What the hell is going on?”

“You need to stay here.” He marched back to the door, locking it.

“You’re not my bloody babysitter—”

“I wouldn’t need to be if you didn’t make such stupid decisions.”

Oh, that was it! Her face was boiling, that coil of anger ready to spring and lash out.

“What—”

“What were you doing with Dameron today?” He spoke over the top of her, his voice loud and unyielding.

Rey’s mouth opened and closed. She may have done that twice. She wasn’t sure.

“That’s none of your business.”

Kylo stalked towards her in slow, measured steps, forcing her to sputter out an unprepared answer.

“He’s a friend.”

“You have dangerous friends.”

“You can say that again,” she said with a pointed pout.

There was a flicker at the corner of his lips, fleeting, unwelcome. He cleared it away and settled in front of her, much too close.

She was at a disadvantage, forced to look up at him, forced to remember that he was so much larger than her in every way.

He continued, “Are you working with Poe?”

“I—I don’t have to answer that,” she stammered.

A slight move of his jaw, the hint of a tic beneath his left eye, his tells. He got them whenever his emotions were running high. Tendons strained in his neck, a small racing movement at the base, and then she realised, there wasn’t anger there, but something that made his face turn ash-white and his lips tremble. Was it fear?

“It’s dangerous, Rey.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a warning.”

“They’re the same thing.” She paused, chewing on her lips and looking to the side. She looked at the desert painting on the wall, staring at it blankly. “Isn’t that what you do, after all? Hurt people?”

She regretted the words almost immediately, even if they were true. How the air drained from his body, his arms falling slack at his sides.

“I would never hurt you, Rey.”

God, how that quiet voice broke her, driving away that brazen anger into something tender and protective. She looked at his hands, large and pale, awkwardly waiting by his sides. She wanted to slide her fingers into them and weave them together.

Why did she always want more?

She raised her eyes to his fleetingly, and she saw overwhelming sadness. He shouldn’t care what she thought of him, not like this, like she was something more than an abandoned street rat and a whore.

“You know I wouldn’t hurt you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she whispered, hugging her arms around her body. She had to, otherwise she would have reached out to him.

A lingering silence filled the space between them like mist on the moors. Rey flicked her eyes up and down at him, catching the way his gaze had moved to her mouth, her shoulders. His lips parted, and his breathing slowed—everything slowed. That space between them, invisible but charged, wanting to close.

Rey could feel every beat of her heart as he moved closer, placing a hand on her shoulder, whispering.

“Snoke already suspects a traitor. I’m trying to protect you.”

She nodded again and took a slow breath, hoping it would give her courage.

“And who’s protecting you?” She moved her hand to his cheek and he flinched. It was instinctual and it broke her heart. How many times has he hit you? she wondered.

“Can I?” Her fingers hovered over his skin.

He nodded and she touched him, so much softer than she could have imagined. With a gentle stroke, she wiped the blood away.

“You need to patch that up, it will scar.”

He caught her hand in his own, and swallowed, almost unsure what to do next, studying her fingers. Then he bent his head and placed a kiss on her wrist.

“Kylo,” she whispered, barely audible against the hammering of her heart.

It wasn’t enough.

Stay with me. Run away with me. We can make it out of here together. All the things she wanted to say, trapped inside.

A man’s voice called out to him from the floor below. “Ren, time’s up!”

Kylo returned her hand. “I have to go.”

He walked away from her.

“Wait!”

He stopped, not looking back.

“Where’s Snoke sending you tonight?” she asked, voice high and slightly desperate.

He looked back, brows pinched with a look of consternation. “Why?”

“Are you going after—” She stopped herself from saying the words: San Tekka.

“Am I going after who?”

Rey turned away from him, terrified she would see the answer in his eyes.

She tried to walk away, but he stepped forward and grabbed her forearm, pulling her close.

“Listen. What you’re doing, it’s too dangerous. I know you want to get out of here, but this is not the way to do it.”

“I’m not—”

“Snoke wants you,” he said fiercely. “He wants to hurt you... to get to me.”

“To get to you?”

“Don’t let him in. No matter what he says. Keep your door locked.”

Snoke wants me, to get to you. The line rolled over in her mind—

“Promise me.”

She faltered; had she really become a tool for Snoke? One he was using to manipulate Kylo? And what would Snoke make him do tonight while he kept Rey’s body as ransom?

Would he kill Lor San Tekka?

Her mind rushed with questions. Should she warn Poe? It had to be San Tekka. The fight downstairs, the blood, the urgent, fearful pleading in Kylo’s voice.

Everything was moving too fast.

“Promise me,” he said again, sterner this time.

“Okay, okay,” she answered. “I won’t open the door to anyone but you.”

“Good.” He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, neatly folded. “Here, this Is my number. Call me if you need to.”

He turned to leave and by the time she had the courage to confront him not to do this, not to go this way, he left, locking the  door behind him.

[dragon-seahorse]

Splatoon Manga Sanatized!Glasses AU Revamp!

Alright so I decided to sit down and rethink my AU a bit so somethings have been scraped,changed completely and slightly altered but I think this version is much better than my previous one. So if you’re curious then please give it a read! 

Sanitization: - Glasses had a bad case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time and ran into some sanatized octolings that were scouting out the surface. He got knocked out and woke up an hour or so later with a splitting headache and his teammates and Rider gathered worriedly around him. After making sure he was okay and trying to figure out what happened they got him home and all seemed fine for a while. - As time went on though he started acting a little off, He started having headaches,loosing sleep,and even had mysterious cuts,scrapes and bruises on his hands and legs. Which was made noticable with Glasses covering up those areas with bandages. Glasses had no idea what was happening and was starting to worry everyone even the s4. Army suggested that Glasses keep a journal to try and keep up with what was going on. Glasses happily went along with it but when he woke up one morning he opened it up and found rather intresting writing which consisted of random jumbles of words, stranges sentences about some project and surprisingly doodles of octolings who he had never met. One Octoling in particuliar seemed much taller than normal and drawn in shadows and marked as dangerous and to be avoided at all costs for he was “unclean and a huge danger to their project”. - He brought the journal to the others so they could possibly help him decipher everything after some turf wars n such but, Once they all sat down to look at it Army and Mask were the ones able to figure out a few things but none of them could figure out what the project was. Glasses thanked them all for their help and decided to head home early so he could finally go get some sleep which everyone agreed would be best for him,Then later that night Glasses disappeared. - The next morning shocked everyone when Goggles,BobbleHat and Headphones were waiting in the square for Glasses who was almost never late. Everyone tried to text and call him but they got no response, At first they assumed he was busy but that was quickly thrown out the window when the realized that he would’ve told someone if he was going to be late. So then Blue team began to look for him and the s4,rider and their other friends started to help out in the search with only Glasses’ journal left for clues. - Meanwhile Glasses was now with the Sanatized octolings/octarians and the main bad guy,Glasses is now training his own team of octolings to take control over the surface. His true self sometimes peaks through and he becomes very confused and scared only for his mind to be quickly taken back over. Once he was fully under control he was subjected to a lot of tests and training and he became a very deadly fighter. Then as soon as the Big Bad felt that he was ready They put Glasses under anesthesia (i had to look up how to spell that),when he woke up his vision was perfectly clear and he had glowing sanatization markings around his eyes and a device implanted into his cheek near his right eye to make sure it stayed that way. It did have a flaw though that Glasses was kept unaware of which was that it would only work while he is under the effects of sanitization and will slowly stop working the longer he off of it. - When the others finally track him down with the help of the “Dangerous Octoling”, They are all shocked to see him after so long and at first Glasses doesn’t even recogonize them but as soon as he gets closer to them throught battle he does stop dead in his tracks his brush ready to swing and so do his troops all of them confused as to why. His glowing eyes flashed to his blue ones for a breif moment then tries to reach for them and apologized before he cries out in pain and then goes right back to fighting them. As the fight continued though Rider and Goggles noticed that Glasses was crying as he fought them and from seeing this Goggles became very serious and got the idea for every to use their specials all at once to try and free him. The specials clear out the sanatized octolings and octarians leaving only a dazed Glasses with a hand on his head groaning in pain. Relief washes over everyone but it is short lived as Glasses snaps back but not before he said “I....I’m Sorry everyone but this isn’t going to stop me unless you stop Them, Please....save yourselves” he then throws a rainmaker down to distract everyone and flees the scene. - The big Bad then once They have Glasses back at Their side, They started to go ahead with Their plans and releases the weapon (which glasses unknowingly helped build and explains his injuries from earlier) to end the pesky inklings and octoling once and for all. However once Glasses was put in control of it, he snapped out of his mind control breifly destroyed the device controlling him and offically betrayed the big bad and started to fight them while the others dismantled and destroyed the weapon. Once Glasses had knocked down the big bad he started to help the others escape all while his vision slowly started to become faded and blurrier. The Octoling noticed that Glasses was starting to have trouble so he went go help him and then with them working together they destroyed the weapon and they got everyone out of the place. - Once everyone was out of there and glasses made sure they were alright he then passed out from the sheer exaustion and was taken to the hospital where he stayed asleep for a least a few days. He was treated for his injuries and the implant device for his vision was removed and soon after he finally woke up much to everyones relief. Lots of tears were shead plus a lot of apologizing and Team Blue was finally whole again which was a breath of relief for everyone. Post Sanitization: - Glasses’ scars are the markings he got from his own sanatization plus a small scar under his eye on the right side where the implant device was which is always visible. Only Glasses’ right eye glows under stressful sistuations,when angry, or when embarrassed and his vision has gotten a little worse since the sanatization so he’s a bit more protective over his Glasses and doesn’t like people touching them. The scars glow at night and Team blue(plus his SO) actually find it really cute and pretty thought it embarrasses poor Glasses. - He has a bit of trouble getting back into the swing of things But Team Blue,Rider,Teams Gloves,Safari,Blast Bros.,Emperor(surprisingly) and the s4 have been helping out by either hanging out or turfwars. - When Glasses sees Crusty Sean again Sean is so happy to see him again and Glasses cries when he offers him his favorite seanwich because he really missed how nice he was. - Rider and Glasses go to thearpy together for their sanatization and due to it they’ve become a lot closer. They both also have developed some slight insomnia and became late night texting buddies and also accidental nap time buddies as well since they both have been caught every now and then accidentally falling asleep at the tables of where ever they were hanging out. Notes: - I might re-think Tartar being the big bad cause of a spoiler I saw from the end of the octo-expansion arc since I only read the psyhical copies due to not being able to find a reliable source to read it on and the eyestrain I get from reading online. - The “dangerous” Octoling is my Oc Thadius October or just Mr. October, He is an adult Octoling and pretty tall. He is also a spy and was actually hunting down the big bad who got their hands on the sanatization technology. Once he saw Glasses and heard about  team blue and the others looking for him he didn’t hesitate to help them out and save Glasses. The Big Bad might end up being someone from his past that he thought was long gone. This is why I used They/Them pronouns for the big bad since I don’t know what I’m going to use just yet - The orginal idea I actually had three other Ocs which were octolings named Valentine,RockSteady and Suzy and they became Glasses’ team while sanatized. They were not sanatized but hypnotized via the hypnoshades or some headphones depending. I will add this if people want it but for now this is a maybe thing if anything these octolings become a team with inkling Patches called team ElectroSwing and would probably be a team that team Blue goes up against in turf wars. - I have decided to completely scrap the loosing his voice thing since I realized he’d need his voice to give orders to his troops/team so, I think he’s more quiet and he actually doesn’t freak out as much as he normally would but that’s mostly due to him being mind controled. - I am half tempted to make this an actually blog thing and maybe draw some stuff for it too possibly. Anyway this is where i shall stop for now but I might add more who knows. 

[shinobicyrus]

“Tooth and Claw”

Haven’t written much Phandom stuff lately, so I thought I’d try something for this year’s Ectober. This one’s for October 26th: TEETH

It was probably a bad sign how long it took for Tucker to figure out which of the tech in his bag was beeping. Had to crouch over it on the sidewalk sifting through a tablet, an old phone, his backup battery charger, two different generations of game boys, his backup-backup charger; Sam always warned him he was slowly sliding down a slippery silicon slope into pseudo-hoarding.

He found the culprit near the bottom of the bag: a Fenton ecto-scope tangled up in some old  cables for a model of PDA he…didn’t actually own anymore. Sam must never know. 

It was a cobbled-together monster made from grave-robbing radio-shacks and amateur soldering kits. Taking it out of the bag only made it vibrate and beep more urgently. The scope took some finagling with a few stuck knobs and dials before the static on screen resolved into something informative: the pixelated silhouettes of trees and a cold-spot slithering past them in toxic, neon green.

Tucker lowered the scope and squinted down the block. The park was that way. Damn. Rustling through his pockets, he pulled out his main phone and pinged Danny on the secure messenger app they’d set up for Phantom stuff- because it wasn’t paranoia when the government really was hunting you down.

GROUPCHAT: WHO YA GONNA CALL? (THE D)

You: Code Green in the park You: class idk whatever the hell AW SHIT THAT’S BIG is Danny: ok I can be there in 8 Danny: keep your head down till I get there

Tucker typed back ‘You know me,’ and added a scardey-faced emoticon. 

Danny: :/ You: I choose to interpret that as loving concern for my safety You: don’t text and fly have you learned nothing from the billboard incident You: such a bad role model You: Thing of the kids You: *think You: Plz hurry

Tucker pocketed his phone before Danny remembered the talk-to-text feature. Or if Sam logged on. Like he needed their reminders not to try stuff solo. He was fully capable on standing on a streetcorner like a good sidekick and wait for the big kids to come and-

A scream cut through the night, echoes elongating on concrete and broken asphalt. 

From the park.

Where the monster-ghost was. 

Tucker groaned. “Aw hell,” and ran down the street towards it. 

Being a technophillic pseudo-shut-in whose primary mode of exercise was patrolling haunted warehouses and fleeing for his life, Tucker was pretty unfamiliar with the park. The light from the scattering of streetlamps following the paths was too few and far between, and the shadows from the trees offered too many places for an attack to come from. Honestly, even without the ghost this place was a deathtrap. 

But whatever, he was committed. He had a Fenton wrist blaster raised and trained on anything that sounded bigger than a grasshopper while he followed the chiming ectoscope.

It all resembled a scene from one of Sam’s Femalien movies a little too close for comfort: the squad of buff, hypermasculine space marines of the spacepatriachy, gung-ho and completely unaware how quickly their collective space-asses were about to get wrecked.

He kept walking. The ectoscope pinged faster. Danny said eight minutes, right? And that was…not eight minutes ago, but sooner than it was earlier. All he had to do was rescue the nice human people from being chewtoys and preferably not get full-ghosted himself.

A twig snapped. Tucker almost shot a startled rabbit, eyes shining on the edge of a streetlight. It hopped away until it melted into the long shadows of the mini-woods. 

“This is a good plan,” Tucker decided. Out loud. On the record. 

Further down the path, where the path looped around a copse of trees and the scarce light flickered weakly, Tucker heard another scream. 

He ran towards it. Look out, creatures of the netherworld, it’s a coward with a guuuun!

Around the bend, the lights were completely out, smothered and snuffed by a low buzzing hum that smelled like ozone and made the ectoscope sputter into a snowstorm of static. There was still plenty of light to see by. Sick, witch-cauldron green radiating from the ghost swimming ethereally in the air like a giant watersnake, only segmented, SUV-sized, and a head that was more a gaping chasm of sawteeth than actual head. 

That sarlacc mouth was perfectly sized to swallow up a lady in jogger clothes, who was pretty much paralyzed with fear…or maybe it was some kind of hypnotic gaze? Maybe that was what the noise was: lulling the prey just long enough to send them to the Boba-Fett Place. 

Tucker threw the ectoscope aside, braced the arm with the wrist-blaster, and shot right down the thing’s ugly mouth.

The low buzzing in the air cut off into a gurgling screech. It reared up, spitting up ecto-bile and vaporized gullet. Tucker’s next two shots hit along its body, making it spasm mid-air like a breathless fish to crash writhing into the grass. 

“Wha-?” The lady said, either broken by the spell or just plain baffled by daring rescue. Tuck ran up to stand between her and the ghost, blaster at the ready.

“Just go, I’ll hold it off!” Tucker yelled over his shoulder. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be-”

Annnddd she was already gone. Oh wow she could really book it. Guess that explained the jogging shorts. Still. 

“What, not even half a second of hesitation?!” Tucker yelled at the receding sound of her shoes. “I know I told you to run, but jeez, a little concern for- oh hi you’re up.”

The baby shai-hulud had risen back up, not floating but still long enough to cast a shadow over him. From that close, its outraged roar smelled a little like sun-rotted roadkill. 

 “Okay, you’re a little mad, I hear you,” Tucker leveled the blaster at it. “But here’s my rebuttal.”

Then the blaster didn’t fire.

Tucker rapidly thumbed the firing switch again. A third time. The blaster shuddered a bit on his wrist, made an sad, tired electric whine. It sounded too much like a whomp whomp on helium. 

“Uh…I don’t suppose you’d let me find someplace to plug this in?” He yelped and dove to the side when the ghost lunged at him. “AH! Guess that’s a ‘no’!”

Oh God how had he thought this was a good plan.

Tucker ran, pulled out every stop he knew from years of tactically fleeing horrifying undead monsters. Thankfully however he’d hurt it before kept it from flying after him, and it didn’t seem smart enough to phase through the trash cans, streetlights, and park benches that got in its way. Or maybe it was just super pissed.

Somehow he managed to pull out his phone in the middle of a zigzag, checked the time. Another three minutes? Two? Like Danny was ever freaking on time for anything in his half-life. “Call Danny!” He yelled. 

The phone showed him a profile pic of Danielle and Tucker cosplaying at last year’s nerd-con. “Calling ‘DANI’…”

“Wrong one stupid clone-racist phone! CALL DANNY!”

“Calling ‘DADDY…’“

“How the fuck even?!” 

Technology you’ve failed me. I’ve shown you nothing but allegedly obsessive love and you do me like that.

The ghost’s glow cast behind him warned Tucker just in time to skid beneath a low-branch and let it ram into the tree instead. Wood crunched and he shuddered thinking of being chewed and ground down to the bone between those teeth.

 It was okay, the plan was going great. He was still alive, stalling for time. Danny would get here, follow the sound of ghost roars and Tucker’s manly not-panicking screams, thermos the worm, then grab some nice post-hunt midnight bro-grub and crack jokes about how Tucker almost got eaten by-

Something snagged his ankle, cutting Tucker’s speed from adrenaline-fueled to face-meets-ground with gravity-speed. Screw you too, psychics. 

He managed to throw up his arms in time to shield his face. Pain lanced up his forearm and burned scraps into his palms. His glasses where askew, the world gone crooked and blurred. Neck twisted to follow the cold, wet feeling slowly dragging him through a bed of dead leaves. 

A long, slick glowing tendril coming from the ghost’s mouth pulled him closer and closer into its waiting maw. The hum turned into hungry, gleeful gurgles. 

Oh. This was. This was not in the plan. 

Tucker dug his raw hands  into the ground, dragging fistfuls of leaves and wet dirt. The light from his phone screen was just an arms length ahead, pulling away, no matter how much he kicked and scrambled and tried to pull himself forward. He thought there’d be more screaming and babbling on his end. Instead he was focusing every molecule of air on breathing, trying to get his crappy body Sam used for workout fodder to fight, stop that grinding progress towards it. 

He was close enough to kick it, watch its expectant slobber dribble on his ripped cargo pants. Stupidly, he adjusted his glasses; got a nice, non-blurry view of that garbage disposal mouth, a hungry pit lined with thumb-sized teeth he could reach up and touch.

Tucker’s entire life, the whole of him, boiled down to this. He always figured his last thoughts would be of his mom, crammed between Sam and Danny on his too-small bed binging bad anime, the way Ingrid bit her lip nervously before she decided to give him his first kiss.

Instead, he just swallowed and said: “Oh Grandmother, what big teeth you have.”

Jesus, good thing no one was around to hear that. 

“LASU LIN IRI!”

A furious growl tore through the trees- a wrecking ball of black and green slammed into the side of the ghost-worm. It reared up and shrieked with pain, the tendril around Tucker’s ankle somehow slack and severed.

The smart thing would be to move. Tucker numbly continued to sit there, jaw hanging as his rescuer clung to the side of the ghost-worm and tore into it with massive claws. 

“Wulf?”

The ghost-worm bucked and wiggled, then body-slammed itself into the ground, forcing Wulf to leap off and land on all fours. His eyes were solid green and burning, snarling something in ghost Tucker couldn’t catch. They went at each other, tearing the small forest around them apart. The worm’s hide was pierced and bleeding in a dozen places, but it had desperation and a metric fuckton of bulk to throw around. 

Wulf took cover in the trees, leaping from branch to branch, constantly circling and taking advantage of every opportunity to claw at its blind spots (how did it see though? did it even have eyes where the hell were its eyes?). Tucker realized his mistake when it dawned on him how much energy Wulf was wasting trying to keep that thing’s attention off of him, how Wulf was trying to protect him. 

The worm must have realized it at the same time. Tucker saw it coming, tried to yell and warn him, but it came too fast- Wulf was blindsided by the worm’s tail end, flew and hit the trunk of a tree and went down hard. Pulled himself up with strain shaking his shoulders. 

The worm let out a skree of victory and hurled itself towards Wulf. Faster than Tucker could shout, he saved himself by cutting a portal into solid air and diving in just before the worm hit, flattening itself and splintering the tree like a brittle toothpick.

It rolled and flopped on the ground, like it was having some kind of tantrum. Pulling itself back up, its mouth-head swiveled around, searching for some sign of Wulf, until it settled back on Tucker.

“Don’t look at me, I don’t know where he went.” 

A muffled, tearing noise came from somewhere in the worm’s middle.

“Nevermind.”

Wulf burst out of worm’s midsection claws first with a howl, an explosion like a sledgehammer to a watermelon that splattered Tucker and everything in sight with green. The worm didn’t even have any breath left inside, much less insides at all, to even make a dying noise as it fell over like a deflated hose. 

Panting, splattered with goopy green chunks on his claws and in his fur, Wulf stood in the clearing and panted hard. His eyes were still narrowed and dangerous, ears flat against his big head and hackles raised. Tucker had forgotten how big he was, half again as tall with enough shoulder width and muscle that would have brought Dax Baxter to weep impotent tears. 

“Uh…Wulf? You okay buddy? Amiko?”

Wulf’s ears shot up, the hunch in his shoulders straightening as he spun around to look at Tucker with huge, concerned eyes. “Amiko Tuck!”

He dove at him, predator fast, and before Tucker could even flinch Wulf’s huge paws picked up Tucker and held him at Wulf’s eye-level. “Ĉu vi estas bone? Ĉu ĝi vundis vin?” His muzzle scrunched adorably as he sniffed Tucker up and down.

“Ah-ah!, that tickles! Haha- okay okay I’m fine, man. Ne…ne- nenio estas rompita.” He smiled with a split lip. “Danke al vi.”

“Sed,” A paw easily braceleted around Tucker’s wrist. “Viaj manoj…”

“Just a scrape man, really,” Tucker assured him. “It could have been- would have been a hell of a lot worse.”

Wulf’s left ear flicked, then looked pointedly at Tucker’s hands. Shaking like leaves in Wulf’s grip. It hurt his palms for Tucker to clench his fist, but it stopped the worst of the shakes. There was nothing he could do to stop the shaking in his heart, how hyperaware he was of his own pulse, the distant but twinging pain in arm, his ankle. The pressure behind his eyes. 

“Please don’t tell Danny and Sam?” He asked, voice a little weaker. “I-I don’t want them to know how close it was. They’d only get worried.”

“Por bona kialo,” Wulf reprimanded him gently.

“Please? Bonvolu?”

It was funny to see a wolf’s brow furrow with deep thoughts, until finally Wulf hugged Tucker tight to his chest. A giant, fuzzy, protective barrier he could wrap his arms around. 

“Thanks Wulf, you’re the best.”

“I know,” he managed, then touched his big, wet nose Tucker’s.

Heat flooded his face. “Oh my God did you just give me a dog-kiss? Is that a thing you just did?”

“Not dog,” Wulf corrected him. “Lupo.”

“You are missing the point of-”

“Tucker!” A voice dropped in from the sky.

Of course this is when Danny would get here. This is his life, this is what he deserves.

Danny floated above the torn up ground and pulverized trees and gaped at the slowly melting leftovers of the ghost-worm. “What the hell- what is Wulf doing here?”

Tucker crossed his arms across and played up snuggling against Wulf’s ghost-hoodie. Not like they weren’t both covered in worm-goop anyways. “Lucky for me you’re not the only ghost-friend I have and this one is both cuddlier and more reliable.”

“I thought I told you to sit tight until I got here!”

“An innocent midnight jogger with bad judgement and possibly insomnia was in danger. What was I supposed to do, ask it to hold up until the real hero showed up?”

That seemed to cut off whatever else Danny was planning to say. “I. There was- yeah okay that’s fair. Good work, Tuck.”

Wulf and Tucker cleared their throats. 

“Both of you. Thanks for having Tucker’s back, Wulf.”

Wulf shrugged, “Ne dankinde. Tucker havis ĝin sub kontrolo.”

“I’m…going to assume that means ‘you’re welcome.’“

“Dude,” Tucker said. “Duolingo. Esperanto ain’t that hard.”

“Iz not.” Wulf said. “English.”

Danny and Tucker both laughed at the smug look on Wulf’s face. 

“Well you two look thoroughly disgusting,” Danny said. “Want to skip the traditional after-hunt bro-snack and get you home to get cleaned up?”

“Hell no,” Tucker said mutinously. “Wulf and I can go back to the apartment to get cleaned, you can pick up some burgers for all three of us for being late.”

Wulf’s tail swished away some stray leaves behind him “Burgers?”

Danny blanched at the thought of paying for enough food to satisfy two grown men and a giant werewolf-ghost, but between Tucker’s guilt-trip look and Wulf’s puppy eyes, he sighed. “Okay, okay fine, I’ve got food duty. But he stays in your room until you two get that crap off you. I don’t want the whole apartment smelling like double-dead worm monster and wet dog.”

“Lupo,” They said together. Wulf’s ears perked and he grinned at Tucker with a mouthful of fangs. 

[mysticdragon3md3]

reactions to Demon Slayer KNY ep8-14

12:15 PM 9/21/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep8

Wow.  Tanjiro actually called out to Kibutsuji Muzan, since he had to let him get away!  O.O  I was hoping he'd do that, but usually that doesn't happen.  

So his alias is Tsukihiko?

Aw, demons who are moved by Tanjiro's empathy for the guy was who transformed!  ;u;

Oh, interesting!  A simultaneous reason for why Tanjiro's family was attacked in the middle of nowhere and why his father was gone.

I've often daydreamed of my OC's blood effecting people with such instantaneous infection that all their cells melt simultaneously, but I've never seen a series fulfill my daydream before.  

Tamayo and Yushiro.

When did Tamayo learn that Nezuko was asleep for 2 years?  We wern't even told she was asleep for 2 years.  O.o?  

Is this Yushiro character indicative of the type of humor this manga-ka injects into all his non-action scenes?  I hope it doesn't get too annoying.  But if it does, it would explain why my brother doesn't like Zenitsu(?).   . . .

------------------------------------------- 12:48 PM 9/21/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep9

I know they wanted Yushiro's beheading to be shocking, but he's a demon and we've seen demons regenerate quickly throughout the series.  

I like that Nezuko and Tanjiro are fighting like a team now, as a given, even when they haven't been forced into a last resort.

Why are they recapping this deal to retrieve blood?  I know in a weekly manga, a recap like that is necessary, but is teh manga just trying to buy time/filler?  

Suzumaru sucks at close quarters combat.

I still don't like the idea of Nezuko being hypnotized to see other people as her family.  If the imagery was overlapping her family onto people, without Kurokodaki's hypnosis explaination, then that imagery would be used to understand what Nezuko is thinking/feeling, even though she can't talk anymore.  It would be touching that she gets reminded of the family she lot and of wanting to protect people as deeply as her own family, to prevent a repetition of her family's tragedy.  There would be so much emotion throughout all of it, in thinking about Nezuko's motivations through everything.  But with that Kurokodaki hypnosis explaination, it takes away her agency and all the emotions behind the possible motivations.  ;_;  

Time to kick some dush into those eyes.  

But if he got the neck, won't the whole body disappear before they can get a blood sample? I wonder if the previously chopped off arms from Suzumaru still have blood samples in them? Or did they disappear?  

Wait.  Is her name Suzumaru or Susamaru?

If Yahaba an Suzumaru only just met but they fight so in sync, does that mean the blood from Kibutsuji Muzan inside them makes them sync up?   . . .

7:27 PM 9/24/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba

Going to leave ep9 playing, while I go get food, since I've seen this ep before.

The animation in the fights is really good, and I'm very glad for Tanjiro when he fights well, because I don't want him to die.  But suddenly shouting these moves, that we've never specifically seen before, then instantly winning, sometimes feels like a "magic" deus ex machina.  I mean, his training episodes help, but we didn't see him learning specific moves.  Maybe I'm just too accustomed to older Shonen anime being very specific with its training.  Ranma 1/2, Bleach, etc.  

"Let's practice our teamwork, Nezuko!"  Now I wish Nezuko was awake during Tanjiro's training instead of asleep for 2 years.  I still can't believe it was TWO YEARS.  The series didn't give that sense at all until Tanjiro specifically said how long she was asleep.  It would have been so cool of Nezuko was helping Tanjiro with his training, and essentially training alongside him.  Ah, well.  Their teamwork now is so endearing.   . . .

7:58 PM 9/24/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep10

REally showing the toll a battle has on TAnjiro.  I always watch movie reviews criticizing modern movies for NOT doing this.  Good to see a good example of it being done, that isn't Die Hard.  

It's good to hear a character say that this power of Nezuko's is "her own".  I'm really stuck on that Kurokodaki hypnosis suggestion taking away a sense of Nezuko's agency/motivations.  But if this series could do more to suggest that Nezuko has her own feelings and motivations to protect people and fight, that would vastly improve things.  I want to forget that Kurokodaki hypnosis thing.

Ack!  He said not to move!  Please don't turn into a trap!  ...Thankfully, it didn't.  Maybe i have that expectation from Western storytelling, since it's so rooted in moralistic religious cultures?  Naw, even the "2 Sons of the Sun" story used that disobeying trope.  Anyway, I really appreciate how often, even after each battle, this series takes the time to show Tanijro showing empathy.  And high levels of empathy too, when he can even risk expressing empathy for an enemy!  *o* This is one of my favorite archetypes/tropes.  ;u;  

Suzumaru asking for her temari...Was she turned into a demon when she was a kid then grew as a demon? "Just like a little kid"?  So is Nezuko after becoming a demon.  And that morphed demon during Tanjiro's exam had childhood memory flashbacks before he died.  Do people's minds just get rebooted when they become demons or something?  They revert to childish mentalities?  

"At first, I didn't like the idea of Nezuko being under a spell, but since it looks like she has a will of her own, I'm glad that---"  I was about to write that even though I don't like the plot device of Kurokodaki's hypnosis on Nezuko, taking away her agency and the sense that she decides her actions and thus still has her own motivations---I was ok with this scene because her being affectionate to Tamayo and Yushiro was just so cute.  But now the scene is burying itself into that hypnosis plot point.  -.-;  Still a very heartfelt scene though!  ;U;!!!

I'm glad Tanjiro took Nezuko's wishes into account.  

Zenitsu is giving me Miroku flashbacks.  How did I put up with Miroku's running gag for so long anyway? Especially considering now that I'm just soooooooo terribly sick of the cliche of "sexual harassment as humor and running gags".  Is it because I worshiped Rumiko Takahashi and was so used to it?  Is it because I could always be confident that perverts in Takahashi series would immediately get pummelled, since Inuyasha had its roots in Takahashi's slapstick sensibilities?  I mean, if since Takahashi series are so slapstick, even when her series got more series, like INuyasha, if a pervert was bieng especially annoying, you could still count on them being punted into the sky or at least beaten until they couldn't move.  Well, usually, they could twitch, but that was about it.  And if they were beaten half to death and left out all night, well, that was common enough to be counted upon when needed.  Because seriously, after Ranma 1/2 and Urusei Yatsura, if there's going to be a pervert, then they sure as hell better be satisfingly beaten half to death.  I guess that slapstick extreme is the only way I'll accept that trope as a running gag.  Though, I still prefer if it didn't happen.  Like, I enjoy seeing Happosai suffering, but I'd prefer to not see him at all.  

8:38 PM 9/24/2020 ep over. I'll take a break from KNY for now because I need to multitask.  

I know I've been writing most of my negative criticism reactions to watching this series so far, but I really am enjoying it.  The animation is beautiful, the protagonists are endearing, the music is so good, I've been listening to the opening theme song on loop, during my daily walks this week.  I gotta write down more of my positive reactions.   . . .

12:51 AM 9/26/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep11

I think I'm beginning to see why Kuya doesn't like Zenitsu.  

Sometimes I have to wonder about Shonen manga-ka or the Shonen genre, when it seems to always default to using "harassing women", "chasing after disinterested women", and "whining about getting girls" as "humor".  Hell, even Persona 5 used that cliche for their humor thru Ryuji---and I love that character despite that!

Though my brother is probably annoyed by Zenitsu's whining more than by his girl-chasing cliche.  

So Zenitsu's "power" is hearing?  lol  Are all the protagonists in the Demon Slayer Corps going to have "magically unsuual senses"?  lol  

This episode had too many slow downs up until this point, but I will always appreciate the story slowing down to emphasize Tanjiro's emathy.  ^-^  

I'll admit, this series really loves it's funny faces.  But it doesn't fit sometimes.  It's not like Soul Eater, where humor was clearly the manga-ka's forte, and they were forcing themselves to do a Shonen action series.  

Maybe this would be funnier if I didn't already know spoilers about Zenitsu actually being good with a sword.  

Wait.  Inosuke??????  That's his name right?  They all met in this one episode by CHANCE????????????????  I thought they would get assigned to the same headquarters for Demon Slayers or something.

Did this demon not mean to trap humans into his house?  That doesn't sound right...  

Everyone's really in their own little worlds huh?  This demon, Inosuke,...everybody is just parallel talking towards each other.  Odd.   . . .

1:45 PM 9/27/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep12

All I hear from the fandom is that "Inosuke is a good boy".  So what's with this callous stepping on a kid?

I know Zenitsu's freak-out scenes are meant to be humor and the seiyuu is obviously having fun with it, but these scenes really should be cut SHORTER.  It's not that funny.  Dragging out such a mediocre joke AND as a RUNNING GAG is getting really tiresome.  It's bad enough that it's starting to turn me unsympathetic to someone who is justifyably afraid.  Who was the editor telling the manga-ka or the direction who thought that dragging these jokes out was "soooooooooo funny"??????????  

I can't figure out if I like or dislike this series!  Mou!  Now I know why I initially tried several times to watch this series and wasn't compelled to binge or watch more...until I consciously tried to catch up on it recently...just because it's popular and I like the opening theme and animation.  ~_~;  Previously, I thought that maybe all my reactions to each episode so far had just _seemed_ negative, because I was forgetting to write down the positives.  But now, I'm beginning to think maybe I'm just not having that much fun with this series.  Though it's true that I was compelled to watch it today, I was excited to watch more...now that I actually am, I'm just not having so much fun.  Maybe I just don't like Zenitsu and Inosuke.  So far, at least.  Maybe I only really liked Tanjiro and Nezuko.  Reminds me of Bleach: I thought I loved _the series_; turns out I only liked Rukia and Ichigo, and when the series focused less on them, I got disinterested and dropped the series.  

Well, at least Zenitsu is protective towards the kid. He's selfless...sometimes.  

So...Is he really sleep-fighting?  

Listen.  I know it was probaby someone's idea to really drag out Zenitsu's cowardice to make his excellent sword attack more shocking.  But that joke was not worth it.  ~.~;  

I'm sorry, but exposition only just now, about how much pain Tanjiro is in, just to put more tension into this fight, is not going to cut it. Yeah, there have been a few foreshadowings of Tanjiro being in a lot of pain.  He even straight up told Zenitsu that his leg and rib(s) are still broken.  But "telling, not showing" was just as ineffecitve then as this monologue meant to build tension in this fight's resolutiion, right now.  ~.~;  If Tanjiro's pain and previous injuries were supposed to make this fight tense, the outcome of his victory less certain, then the episodes so far should have been peppering asides of him secretly flinching with pain and secretly trying so hard to put on a brave face UP THROUGH THIS ENTIRE TIME.  It should have been so obvious, that going into this fight with the tsuzumi demon, the audience would have *already known* that this was a worry, even at the start of just going into the fight---even at the NOTION of going into ANY possible fight!  But instead, we get this monologue, with barely any foreshadowing to suppot it beforehand, that's supposed to *suddenly* convince us that this fight has higher risks that any previous fight?  I call sudden editor changes to the manga.  ~.~;;;;;;;;;;  

"YOu're the eldest daughter, but don't just endure it, come talking to me"?  Tanjiro deserves to not just endure it too!  ;o;!  I mean, he's alone right now and does need to endure it, but when Nezuko or anyone else is around he deserves someone to lean on too!  ;o;!!!   . . .

10:44 PM 9/28/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep13

Well, I like that this series continues to emphasize Tanjiro's empathy, even for demons. Actually kind of reminds me of the yokai genre more than the demon-hunting genre, which is a compliment.  But even that's starting to get forced, just like last episode's last minute tension about Tanjiro's broken bones.  Why would Tanjiro try not to step on the writings/papers?  Why would he suddenly ask for the demon Kyougai's name??  Not that I didn't enjoy it.  But c'mon...

This series is just so cloud so being something great, that every faint failing bothers me.  The production is great, I love the 2 main characters, the character design is good,...Why do I keep finding things to be annoyed with?  I worry that I've just become a grumpy butt.  ~__~;;;  Maybe I just can't enjoy Shonen series anymore???  I did move to almost exclusively watching iyashikei genres...  Ugh.  I don't know.  Because this series totally has objective problems!!!  Not deal-breakers, but everyone has built up this series as warranting fanatasim, and I'm just not feeling it.  

So why is Zenitsu suddenly brave when it comes to protecting Tanjiro's box?  He doesn't know Nezuko's in there yet, right?  

Oh, so Inosuke isn't totally heartless.  HE stopped his sword at Zenitsu's neck.

Oh, that's right.  Zenitsu's "superpower" is his hearing.  He already knows a demon is inside Nezuko's box.  

I dunno.  I just can't buy Zenitsu fighting so hard for Nezuko's box, jsut because he knows Tanjiro is exceptionally gentle.  Zenitsu has spent all this time unwilling to fight demons, even when more was at stake than Tanjiro's box.  It's just so inconsistent, I can't feel the stakes that these scenes want me to feel.  I'm so disassociated and non-immersed.  

Like right now.  Inosuke is so sick of this he's going to skewer both Zenitsu and Nezuko's box simultaneously?  We just saw him unwilling to follow through on that same bluff!

omg  I _WISH_ I was just being too nit-picky!  But lately this series has been proving to me why I asn't compelled to continue this series after the first time I tried it, until maybe the 2nd or 3rd time I gave it a try.  

Maybe I just am fed up with everyone who's not Tanjiro and Nezuko. When the series was just their adventures, I loved it.  Even though it was just repeating old Shonen tropes that I had seen too many times, after all my years---I just didn't care.  Because I liked spending time with Tanjiro and Nezuko SO much.  But now Zenitsu is being annoying, Inosuke is not being the "good boy" I kept hearing he is, and the writing is contradictory, last-minute,...blehhhhh... I WANT TO LIKE THIS SERIES SO MUCH!!!  Why does it have to keep getting in the way of that?   . . .

5:10 PM 10/5/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep14

I can't stop thinking about all those anitubers who called Inosuke "best boy" and "goodest boy", in contrast to what a bullying asshole he's been so far.  Incidentally, bullies are my biggest pet peeve.  I've dropped SERIES for that reason.  If I can drop HeroAca after giving it 3-4 tries, because any glimpse of Bakugo was enough to piss me off for the rest of my day, don't think you're immune, Kimetsu no Yaiba!  

Is this supposed to be enjoyable?  I know this fight between Inosuke and Tanjiro is animated beautifully and martial arts anime used to be my obsession, but I do not want to see more of this character.  Especially in a fighting scene, a scene that is designed to somehow make him subconsciously look cool.  I know what you're doing.  He's not cool.  He's being an asshole.  This isn't a scene or a character I want to see more of.  This is like in Ironman 2 when the director said in interviews how well the actor who played Hammer oes the "greasy salesman" act---But why do I want to watch more of a greasy salesman!?!  I don't!  A serial killer can do their murders impressively well; doesn't mean I enjoy seeing all these murders happen in front of me!  Inosuke is getting all these "cool" Shonen genre tropes layered onto him, but no.  He's not cool.  

The thing that pisses me off is the idea that Inosuke clearly is being portrayed as those battle-hungry characters who want to become stronger and constantly test their strength.  YA CAN'T ACTUALLY IMPROVE IF YOU TAKE ON WEAK OR UNWILLING OPPONENTS, YA DOOF!!!!!  That's like rule #2 of any martial arts or battle manga/anime!  Why do you think so many anime have the "bad guy who becomes reluctant ally/rival" type?  It's because they're waiting for that proper duel where they've both agreed to fight to their fullest and not hold back.  You can't get that from an unwilling opponent and getitng it from a weak opponent is worthless!  GAwd!  Inosuke is pissing me off more, the longer this duel goes on.  It's such a shame that such good animation has to go to a fight that don't want to see more of.  Cut this short!

My one reprieve is that at least Tanjiro is intensely angry at his bullying, enough to reflect my own anger.  Yet, he keeps his Compassion and True Strength unassuaged by Inosuke's provocations.  

Oh no...I just realized that the way Inosuke is acting in this episode is one of my other highest pet peeves:  Assholes who confuse Power with Strength.  Strength is defined in 2 ways: 1)  A soul pattern that will not assimilate into another's pattern.  In other words, a resolve that won't fall under the influence of someone else's mindset.  The ability to retain one's own will.   2)  The ability to do the hard thing, the difficult thing.   Guess what falls into both categories of Strength?  COMPASSION.  That's why people with True Strength act with decorum.  It's why I love that one of Confucius's 8 virtues is Courtesy.  Having consideration for everyone, at all times, in everything, is the most difficult thing in the world.  And anyone that can keep to that with unfaltering resolve, is The Strongest.  Compassion is not easy for the Weak.  It's difficult.  Only the Strong can demonstrate that level of Compassion.  Only the Strong can risk being Kind, can bear the exposed vulnerabilities of Kindness, and continue to act with Compassion even after being hurt, betrayed, or taken advantage of, for offering Kindness.  That's why jerks who confuse Power with Strength, piss me off.  They're idiots, who don't recognize that attacking is inherently an action of Fear and Weakness.  

Ah, wait.  I see.  When Tanjiro chided Inosuke for aggrivating his rib wounds...  Inosuke is self-destructive.  He's just taking it out on everyone else.  Ugh...  

Huh.  Delayed reaction.  

Wow.  I thought Inosuke's unmasked face was a spoiler for much later in the series.  

I love that Tanjiro probably honestly is concerned about Inosuke's rib injuries and totally doesn't think he's being condescending or passive-aggressive to Inosuke.  

So only 1 of the siblings has Marechi blood?  I hope they plant wiseria plants all over their house.  

See that scene of Zenitsu crying and being quickly silenced by Tanjiro?  Most of his grovelling was at a distance and quickly cut off.  That's what we need more of.  For both Zenitsu's supposed "comedy" and Inosuke's bullying.  

Is there a difference between the 3 futons to even fight over???

That "severe" joke was funny though.

I appreciate the faster pace fo this episode, but the jokes are starting to wear down.  

Kindness has a specific scent now.  lol  

I imagine that hearing Zenitsu crying for so long, so often, is how ProfessorThorgi described Spiderman sometimes being written with nothing but quips, and you don't notice how annoying such dialogue is while reading, but when you hear it, it's just grating.  ~.~;;

I've been bitching so much about this series.  Do I even like it?  Why am I watching?  Maybe I should drop it?  But I really like Tanjiro and Nezuko.  The animation production and music themes are beautiful.  And I haven't watched a Shonen action series in so long, and I think I really need one to help get through my depression...

I know this Demon Slayer Corps Academy omake is supposed to be cute, but don't remind me about the whole "dye your hair black" "But this is my real hair color" bullshit.  Fuck Harmony.  Wrong things are wrong!  Sorry, but I'm American, and I'm going to fetishize Justice!  Pretending everything is ok and just going along with the loudest authority, no matter how cruel and inconsidering they are, is what makes the whole of society miserable!  Fuck that shit!  

[plush-anon]

plush reviews: pirates ahoy! (collected)

for my own personal reference, decided to collect the singular posts into one, w/ breaks between each original post below the cut

I will say this, the opening credits for this one are pretty dang good - nice visuals flow together with some wonderful music to create a compelling overview of the Bermuda Triangle and some of the wild theories commonly associated with it, as well as how far back these myths go. Kudos 🤗

also, I did not realize how short this movie is - paused it for a second and it’s only 70 minutes long apparently. huh

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oh man, good times - I forgot how stilted and choppy the WNSD animation could get in some shots.

annnnnd there’s the cotton candy fog. it moves like it’s on a skateboard being pulled across the screen XD

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finally cut to the gang - i honestly like this shot of everyone in the car. daphne paints her nails like my sister used to when we were young - on the dashboard on long car rides 😅 the nausea from the smell led to some “fun” trips, lemme tell ya 

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oh Casey Kasem, even in old age your Shaggy was memorably good

also the joke on Fred’s age never gets old XD like, you guys grew up together as kids in this continuity, how could you not know his age, much less that he’s obvs not in his 40s? still a fun one tho

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another thing i forgot about WNSD continuity - Shaggy’s character model being like 2 feet taller than Fred in some shots

also the gang being legitimate friends and liking each other and getting along, unlike some portrayals *side-eyes sdmi*

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i think this is my fave version of fred’s parents, although i do love Professor Huh from be cool scooby doo. they are EXACTLY how i picture the people who raised the sdway/wnsd version of Fred to be 

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holy crap, i forgot Kathy Najimy was in this 

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actually, here’s a thought: why haven’t they graduated Frank Welker to playing Fred’s dad in a show, and hired someone else to play Fred?

granted, the man still (uncannily I might add) sounds exactly like he did in the 60s (hOW?!?) but it’s strange they haven’t tried to do that yet apart from maybe pup named sd, where he played fred’s… uncle, i think and i guess kind of with the new scoob 2020 movie, where he only plays scooby

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…i think the captain of the ship just got beamed aboard the Enterprise o_O 

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the alien has the general head shape of the ones from Alien Invaders and the claw hands of dr claw from inspector gadget

also, whoever designs fred’s facial expressions in this movie is having waaaay too much fun (although kudos for actually… you know… making them. some characters have very minimal face movement and it’s rather unsettling, especially when the voice acting is actually pretty decent)

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i gotta say, good on fred’s parents for encouraging their son’s interests and talents, as well as getting him a birthday gift that he can not only enjoy, but also inviting his friends along for.

…unlike SOME incarnations *glares at sdmi*

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holy fcuk shaggy just brought back the ghost of captain cutler, glow-in-the-dark diving suit and all O_O 

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dang, velma’s lounge wear looks cozy. i’m glad they haven’t tried to force her into something weird

camp scare put her in a white bathing suit, which was… really odd for her, color scheme wise. altho the storyboard artists reaaaaaally wanted to do a drawn out, slo-mo play-in-the-water thing with velma and daphne in that one, so maybe that contributed to it? idk

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i do like that the gang inadvertently solves every mystery on a mystery cruise - that cracks me up 

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cripes, they keep cutting back and forth between a decently animated shot of the gang on a polished background, and this almost MS Paint looking rough animation of the castaway being guided on the deck, which is all flat colors and rough black lines. it looks terrible

the animation quality is all over the place here

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and suddenly man in a jetpack

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RON PERLMAN?!?!?

how the FRICK did they get him on this movie cast?! this is post-hellboy!

( also apparently arsenio hall voices the captain. who the heck had all these high rollers on speed-dial at the studio that day)

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actually, here’s a thought: given the voice cast we have, and how i’m actually able to follow this without having to look at the screen all the time (i’m folding laundry rn), this could make for a really decent comedy mystery radio show.

think about it! get a decent voice cast and writing team, and there’s a lot you can do with Scooby on the radio. you may not be able to do the chase scenes as well, but those can be worked around pretty easily with a solid writing team. i’d be interested in seeing that come to reality in all honesty - it could be fun!

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another thing i just noticed: Scooby hasn’t talked NEARLY as much in this one as he does in later shows/movies. I forgot how much I missed that from him 

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wait a tic that’s Dan Castellaneta as the hypnotist

seriously, who was able to get all these people on board for a Scooby Doo DTV about pirates

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now here’s an interesting moment/snafu: Shaggy and Scooby canNOT be hypnotized, according to this movie, but the clown in SDWAY was able to hypnotize them both using the exact same method - a gold circular object on a chain swung back and forth.

then there was Legend of the Phantasaur much much later able to hypnotize Shaggy so successfully he overcame his panic disorder

was it because they weren’t allowed to eat prior? their meal was continuously interrupted before they were dragged onstage. maybe being actively hungry and denied food when it’s right in front of them blocks them from being hypnotized properly…?, idk but it’s food for thought, for sure 😁

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ehehe, one of the background guests is wearing a Tin Man costume from the Wizard of Oz

alas, this is prolly as close to a crossover as I’ll ever get between my first two fandoms ever and maybe that’s for the best

(honestly kind of surprised there's never been a scooby themed oz-related adventure tbh public domain and recognizeable)

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it took about half an hour into the movie for the title villains to actually encounter the gang, or almost exactly halfway through the movie. that’s actually pretty odd for a scooby movie, isn’t it?   especially when they haven’t encountered any other mystery except the fake-y ones (a lot start off with an in-progress mystery to finish up before being introduced to the main)

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welp, villain’s been spoiled, it’s ron perlman’s character as the pirate captain…

*sighs* Pirate Captain Skunkbeard

like… you get freaking Slade from the teen titans, Hellboy Himself, to voice your baddy… and you give him a name like Skunkbeard.

could have been something cool like Capt Barnaby Bones, or Cuthbert Butcher the Red Pirate, or SteelHook Slater, or Morgan “Moonscar” McWright (okay, that one’s been used before, but the point stands dammit!)

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holy moly, one of the pirates just tried to cut scooby and shaggy’s head off with an actual blade

it cut clean through their costume heads with one swipe

jesus christ on a bike, what is WRONG with you?!?!

(sometimes these scooby dtvs have moments like this. moments that explain how it is shag and scoob have what is likely ptsd for days)

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*gang follows trail of oozy green liquid sheen to the pirate ship*

now see, i thought those wooden ships weren’t supposed to pollute the oceans back in the day

(tho it does work as a solid clue i’ll grant em that)

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shaggy, why aren’t you more excited to go into the cotton candy fog? it’s clearly grape and green apple flavored! 

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…i think one pirate just killed another one during that sea shanty there

brutal

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so i didn’t mention earlier, but tim conway is fred’s dad, and i think he’s the only voice star in this i’m not surprised at - he’s been on the new scooby doo mysteries as their celebrity guest of the week, so him coming back is more like a belated reunion

that being said, his voice work here varies wildly between ‘what the heck take was that’ and ‘hysterical’ - it’s quite odd

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and suddenly the cruise ship is sunk, and the gang is on an island

alrighty then

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the captions are cracking me up right now - not a single one has spelled “bananas” right

it only spells it as “banas” 🤣🤣🤣

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“Prepare to suffer the wrath of Capt Skunkbeard!”

…nope, that’s still not intimidating. try again sir.

(truly i am made to sail the seas, for i am salty af on this name)

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‘Seize them!’

fade to black

come back in on gang tied to the pirate ship mast

…really? the gang has escaped far worse than a group of pirates before (and usually to some funky tunes), and you’re saying they were captured just like that?

fred, please tell me this is a plan of yours, otherwise this is just dumb

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sooo the pirates want to find a place that matches a painting of stars from 200 years ago… without ever stopping to consider that the painting could just be a pretty picture?

it’s a small painting, and i don’t think that star maps were really used like that back in the 1800s when it was purportedly made (at least not from what they look like on wikipedia… none of them look like pretty wall paintings)

these pirates are kinda dumb, methinks

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the ghosts of the bermuda triangle, including world war fighter places, old exploration ships, and a sea monster are apparently trying to stop the pirates

because the pirates want to time travel and rule the sea throughout time

and they needed the pretty pretty picture to lead them to the time travel macguffin they want to retrieve… which is also the sole reason the Bermuda Triangle is all bermuda triangly to begin with, when it fell to earth from space itself.

…say what now?

...that has to be one of the dumbest time travel plots i've ever heard and i sat through endgame twice

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the macguffin is a solid gold meteor

a giant hunk of gold literally as larger as twenty of the pirates put together, and you want to use it to time travel instead of selling that shit and being made for life

why are none of you smart

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yet again i see scooby shoot someone with an item that should have killed them outright and ended the mystery right there

moon monster madness had scooby shoot the alien with a missile on the moon, and pirates ahoy has him shoot a cannon at someone point blank with only a wooden door immediately between them

shrapnel should have shredded that pirate to bits, if even that much was left after that

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okay, the time travel thing turns out to be a hoax the hypnotist uses to convince the billionaire to finance his search for the literal meteor of solid gold located in the heart of the Bermuda Triangle

that’s a relief at least - Scooby Doo has done some weird shit in its days, but time travel does not need to be one of them

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well, at least we finally have the answer to who would win in a fight - homer simpson or scooby doo?

(obvs scooby, of course :D)

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according to velma, everyone on the cruise was hypnotized into believing they were pirates (including fred’s mom), but doesn’t hypnotism only work if the person actually subconsciously agrees with/goes along with the suggestions?

does that mean that at least one person on the cruise ship wanted to behead someone, since they nearly succeeded with Shag and Scoob? does that mean the fred’s mom secretly wants to kill her husband, since she tried to have him thrown overboard the ship while she was hypnotized?

the questions this raises, they are unsettling thoughts indeed 😨

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“Wouldn’t you like a nice ski trip to the Himalayas?”

“And risk a run in with the Abominable Snowman?! Forget it!”

exactly one year later (no joke, it came out exactly one year later):

“Join Scooby and Shaggy as they run in terror from the Abominable Snowman in the Himalayas, in Chill Out Scooby Doo!”

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And that was Scooby Doo Pirates Ahoy!

That was a relatively fun, if dumb, done-in-one mystery. What really saves this one (especially given the REALLY inconsistent animation quality, from acceptable to ‘someone used MS Paint didn’t they?’ levels) was the voice cast. I don’t know what blackmail they had on these guys, but the voice acting was really dang good.

Probably too good - the bad guys’ voices are so memorable you know immediately who they are when you hear them.

The time travel spiel was unbelievably dumb, only saved by the fact it was a hypnotic ruse, and some of the stuff doesn’t quite mesh that well? Like the padding on the desert island, and some of the really weird plot contrivances like the painting being the exact map to a giant ass solid gold meteor :/

Still, a solid set-up (mystery cruise in the Bermuda Triangle) with some new elements (Fred’s parents, an absolute delight) make it a fun film for the wee ones. I’d call this a keeper at the end of the day.

Then again, I really have forgotten how nice it is to see the gang as actual supporting friends and have it feel sincere. Be Cool Scooby Doo was mostly for humor, but the kids still felt like they liked each other well enough.

WNSD on the other hand really made them feel like actual friends, based on body language around each other, general closeness, and a warm comradery that’s hard to replicate. For the flaws this show has, this is certainly not one of them.

That’s all for tonight folks. Sleep well, me hardies yo ho!

[yogaadvise]

The Flight of His Life

On a late September early morning in Divine superintendence, Rhode Island, around 20 yoga trainees damaged from exercising handstands to enjoy Raghunath show a series of presents. He reached his arms up and also backwards, breathing in audibly, after that went down back right into a complete wheel on the exhale, from the backbend, he rocked into his palms as well as can-canned both feet overhanging, floating right into a handstand, after that he decreased his legs, toes directed, with a pike, ultimately touching down in a full forward fold. 'Damn,' sighed among the workshop's elderly instructors, who was taking the course. Raghunath sprung upright. 'Okay!' he said, clapping his hands twice. 'That desires to attempt?'

At 48, Raghunath relocates with the liquid certainty of a Slinky dropping stairways. During the two-hour Flight School-his signature inversion-focused devotion-fueled workshop-Raghunath showed handstand 10 different means, carrying out each variant with hypnotic control. Between demonstrations he paced in between floor coverings, supplying physical helps as well as chattering concerning philosophy.

After class, Raghunath as well as I talked on the phone as he drove south on I-93 to show 2 more workshops in Boston. 'Truthfully, if they just wish to discover balancings and also jumping around, I'm great keeping that,' he says. Yet handstands are inevitably alongside the point. ' I utilize the asana as lure to obtain individuals to higher points,' he says. 'Just what's the higher trait? That we become part of something bigger. As well as we have to learn ways to control our minds.' Accordingly, Raghunath starts as well as ends his courses with directed reflection, mantra, and shouting accompanied by harmonium as well as his very own voice.

Demand for Trip College has corresponded because Raghunath relocated from Los Angeles to Manhattan in 2008, where his courses became something of an establishment at elite studios. Understood for his extreme positions and intense charm, Raghunath developed a following of teachers and inversion-junkies explained in a 2012 New York Times profile as 'cultlike.' Beloved was Raghunath that when he left Manhattan 3 years back, one lifestyle web site compared his departure to 'Derek Jeter ... leaving the city to step out of the spotlight.' (Actually, Raghunath had actually relocated upstate with his partner, Bridget, also a yoga instructor, to elevate their kids closer to nature).

Part of just what makes Raghunath so attractive is his origin story, which reviews like a folklore of the modern-day master. Born Raymond Cappo to a socially traditional household in Connecticut, he relocated after high college to the Lower East Side, where he discovered working from a vegan restaurant called Ahimsa-a Sanskrit word meaning 'nonviolence' that denotes among the five yamas, or ethical principles, of yoga exercise. At 19, he stopped consuming meat, the manager of an alternative bookstore transformed him onto Ayurvedic nourishment as well as the spiritual Hindu scripture the Bhagavad-Gita. He began taking yoga exercise courses in 1987, studying with Sri Dharma Mittra as well as unrolling his floor covering alongside Jivamukti's Sharon Gannon at Swami Satchitananda's Indispensable Yoga exercise Institute.

It had not been long prior to Cappo, who 'd expanded up studying violin and also trumpet as well as had played in bands in senior high school, obtained associated with the Lower East Side's hardcore punk scene. Even as a young adult, he understood he wished to get to individuals. 'I was already really intrigued with metaphysics and also Eastern believed, and I truly appreciated spirituality,' he claims. 'I wanted to discuss substantial traits, since I knew that significant verses stood the examination of time.' He discovered a platform as the diva as well as songwriter of Youth of Today, releasing 3 albums between 1985 and also 1988, touring internationally, as well as founding the punk tag Discovery Records.

' People claim hard rock and also they assume of the Sex Pistols. Our following-tens of thousands of kids-were vegetarians,' Cappo describes. 'We didn't drink, we really did not smoke, our companied believe in favorable attitudes.' As component of the straight edge activity, Cappo's music promoted social activism and also a politics of extreme resistance. The 1988 video for Young people these days's pro-veg anthem 'Say goodbye to,' for instance, cuts between a radiantly young Cappo shouting and also fist-pumping in freight shorts and shots of a pig being stabbed (predating fellow musician-yogi Adam Levine's current, bloody romp in Maroon 5's 'Pet' by two-and-a-half years).

At 22, Cappo claims he obtained a 'strong spiritual calling' after his daddy passed away all of a sudden. Burned-out and mourning, he left the band to take a trip to India. 'I had an absence of faith in material culture. Not that I could not obtain cash, but that it was really privileged to have cash,' he states. Cappo found relief in brahmacharya, the Hindu method of celibate monkhood, while living at an ashram devoted to bhakti yoga as well as the deity Krishna.

People state hard rock and also they think about the Sex Pistols. Our following-tens of thousands of kids-were vegetarians

Through everyday asana, meditation, as well as research of the ancient scriptures, Cappo began to fine-tune his understanding of yogic viewpoint. In his analysis, the Bhagavad-Gita isn't really regarding renouncing material satisfactions even 'using what you have in a spiritual means. Energy is the concept,' Cappo claims. 'For instance, is cash good or bad? Cash is just power. You could utilize your money to be dreadful and also self-absorbed. Or you might utilize money for excellent things.'

At least, that's just what Cappo counted on when he returned to New York City as well as grabbed the mic once more in 1990. As the frontman of Shelter, Cappo aided develop a subgenre called krishnacore, a kind of religious hard rock that combined hardcore's high-energy sound with verses inspired by the International Society for Krishna Awareness (the 'Hare Krishnas'). With Shelter, Cappo saw a possibility to affect thousands of young followers who, like him, liked to mosh to music with a positive message-here, a teaching of extreme approval as well as abstaining from meat, medicines, alcohol, and entertainment sex.

Cappo would certainly continue living as a monk for 6 as well as a half years, maintaining his asana and reflection method (and also self-imposed celibacy) while playing programs throughout the UNITED STATE, Europe, as well as South The U.S.A.. 'We had a hit document in Brazil, we toured the world 3 times over, we got on MTV. It was among those things that ended up being larger compared to I believed it was mosting likely to be. Since I did it with a various type of internal discipline, that exact same popularity or appeal really did not fry me.'

Regular trips to India assisted, as well. In 1991 in Vrindavan, a sacred town in the northern province of Uttar Pradesh, Cappo was christened Raghunath, a name invoking the supreme deity Vishnu. 2 years later on, in the exact same village, he obtained upanayana, the ritual spiritual thread provided to Hindu initiates to recognize the transfer of spiritual knowledge. As the '90s abated, so did American passion in krishnacore, triggering Raghunath to locate other means of spreading his message. In 2002, a year after Sanctuary launched its last album, Raghunath relocated to L.a, where he started showing yoga exercise and promoting a raw food lifestyle with workshops and also cleanses.

While he maintains the hairless head and also inked-up arm or legs of his krishnacore days, Raghunath has actually softened substantially his general ambiance since leaving New york city. 'Due to the fact that I had then as a monk and really imbibed those teachings, fame-even within the yoga community-it doesn't influence me,' he states. He still visits the globe, leading yoga workshops and also classes on nourishment and also the functional applications of yogic approach, plus twice-yearly trips to India, where he guides small groups of yogis through the sacred sites and towns he's checked out since the '80s.

But these days, he aims to spend as much time as feasible at home with other half Brij and their five youngsters, that range from six months to 17 years of ages. 'Family is unbelievably basing for me,' he says, going silent for the very first time in half a hr. 'I are among those people that can take a trip 365 days a year, just keep taking a trip and keep training since I love to instruct a lot. I 'd be a little bit ungrounded. My household brings it back.' Currently, after years of self-searching, Raghunath treats his family with more respect compared to he does gravity.

This springtime, Raghunath and also Brij will certainly open their very own yoga and reflection center on the grounds of their 11-acre building in East Chatham, New york city. Called Super Heart Farm, the center will certainly organize public workshops, retreats, as well as 100- and 200-hour teacher trainings led by Raghunath, Brij, as well as welcomed educators. The Farm has a creek, swim pond, and also sufficient woodlands, plus a guesthouse as well as huge yoga exercise studio, a converted three-bay garage. Without any tv or cell service, guests will be welcomed to invest their time as the Cappo clan does-reading, food preparation, and working on outdoor jobs. Lately, Raghunath and his children built a composting bathroom, as well as he claims they select campfires and bedtime stories based upon the Bhagavad-Gita rather than seeing television.

For Raghunath, opening up Super Spirit Farm indicates an opportunity to share his life's deal with his kids, it's the following step he's been awaiting. 'I believe that a great deal of our possible begins just with fantasizing in your greatest self,' he claims, laying out his philosophy for a connected, effective life. 'If you have some fundamental, strong instructions of who you desire to come to be as well as establish that as an internal compass, then any place you go in this globe will always bring you there. I constantly recognized I wished to be bordered by nature, I constantly knew I enjoyed to show, and also I always recognized I enjoyed to find out. Generally when you enjoy something, you ready at it as well.'

Cover Photo by Robert Sturman