#it's one of those things where like. we all know merry's arc is about confidence so you assume he already has low confidence but no!

[thefabelmans2022]

did you ever notice how merry doesn't actually volunteer for the quest? pippin is the one who assumes he and merry will go, gandalf vouches for them both, but merry doesn't say a word for the entire encounter. it's a stark difference from his insistence on going with frodo in the conspiracy chapter, and i think it's because he's totally lost his confidence. in the beginning, he's very confident and fully believes he'll be able to lead the group through the old forest to bree with no trouble, and then they all almost die twice basically immediately. notice that when they get to bree, he refuses to go to the prancing pony with the others, deciding instead to stay in their room alone? and then of course he gets attacked by nazgul, which definitely doesn't help matters. i think by the time they get to Rivendell, he no longer believes himself capable of helping frodo. he'll do it, obviously, if frodo or gandalf or elrond or pippin ask him to, but i think he's at a point where he no longer believes he'll be any good.

[ceterisparibus116]

Hiiii! 5, 11, 14, 18, 25, 32, 46 please ♥️

AWWW! <3 The questions are: 5.  How much writing do you get done on an average day? 11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most. 14.  How do you deal with self-doubts? 18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about? 25.  Favourite part of writing. 32.  Most difficult character to write. 46.  Do you reread your own stories?

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

Depends, obviously, but I can reliably get an average of probably 1.5k a day. Except for the fic I’m currently most excited about (Trust: Handle With Care), I hit a point where I was average 4k a day. Yeah, I was blown away by that, but the story just took over.

 11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most.

PETER JACKSON FROM LORD OF THE RINGS. Not an author, technically, but I was obsessed with LOTR as a kid, and I devoured the behind-the-scenes content, and he had a segment where he talked about how he went about adapting from book-form to movie-form, and one thing he said that hit me like lightning was that he plotted out the various threads (Frodo and Sam, Merry and Pippin, Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli, etc.), and figured out how all those arcs needed to go—separately. Only once he’d nailed down those separate threads did he start thinking about the best way to interweave them to build tension.

So that’s what I try to do! I don’t necessarily have that many threads at once, but I do try to sketch out each separate thread ahead of time. Sometimes I’ll literally write an entire thread before really bothering about the others, sometimes I’ll just skip along my outline at random points, but I always try to keep those threads separate for…pretty much as long as possible. That makes it way easier to control pacing, and it also makes it more fun for me to write because I have a clearer sense of where everything is going.

The other thing he mentioned is that he found his central issue/theme early on, and used that as a gauge for what to cut when things inevitably had to be cut. Fanfiction, of course, is privileged in that no one’s hovering over your shoulder forcing you to stay under a certain word count, so you don’t HAVE to cut anything at all. But I do care about pacing, so I try to use my central as a theme as a guide when deciding what scenes to cut, or what scenes to “show” (vs tell) in the first place.

 14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?

Ooh, good question!

The first thing is to try to put words to my self-doubt. A nebulous feeling of inadequacy is almost impossible to combat, in my opinion. So I try to get as specific as possible. What, exactly, am I doubting?

For example, sometimes I’m doubting whether a certain scene works. That’s good to know; I can zero in on fixing that scene, and leave the rest of my confidence untouched.

Sometimes the doubt is broader, like whether I’m good at a certain style of writing, or whether an overall story is “working.” That’s tough. Sometimes I’m like, “Yep, this style is not my thing, and honestly I’m not interested in developing that skill.” Sometimes I’m like, “Okay, this style is not my thing, but I want to practice it and get better anyway,” which means reminding my doubts that I need to treat myself like I’d treat anyone else learning a brand new skill—the fact that I think I’m good at other parts of writing doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be an amateur sometimes. As for doubts about overall stories, that’s really hard! Sometimes I have to chuck the story because it’s just not working. Or if I think it’s worth salvaging, I have to figure out where it went wrong and how to correct it.

Sometimes the doubt is really broad and personal. I don’t know about others on here, but I still occasionally struggle with the doubt that fanfiction is…worth it? As in, compared to trying to publish original works. I combat that by reminding myself why I write in the first place. It’s not for notoriety. It’s not to make a living. It’s to share what I love most with the world in a medium that I love. And that’s as true of fanfiction as it is of traditional publishing.

This is also where my faith really sustains me. I’m very outcome/achievement-oriented, so I can quickly get discouraged if I’m not putting enough out there or reaching various goals, like about stats or hits for fanfiction, or getting an agent, etc., in the publishing world. But the truth is, my identity is not in my ability as a writer. I can have those days (or weeks, or months) where writing is just not making me feel good, and that’s okay because my ultimate satisfaction and confidence and joy are all in God, not writing.

 18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

In the fanfiction world, there’s my bestie @soulfireinc. We already help each other out with brainstorming and otherwise encouraging each other, so I know she’s great to work with. What would we write about? Whump and angst, of course, for whatever show we’re both invested in at the time.

  25.  Favourite part of writing.

CONNECTING DOTS. I freaking love connecting dots. Like, sure, creating things ex nihilo is fun too, but I’d much rather get all my pieces on the metaphorical board, and then go about figuring out how they can intersect, parallel each other, and otherwise compliment each other. That’s one reason I’m so drawn to fanfiction specifically: the pieces are already there; I just get to play with them.

Other favorite parts are: getting so lost in writing that it feels like I’m reading, interacting with readers, learning things about myself, having people tell me THEY’VE learned things about themselves through reading what I’m writing, and believing that, somehow, by writing, I’m making the world a better place.

 32.  Most difficult character to write.

Fisk and Vanessa, probably, for fanfiction. They way they talk is so intelligent, and yet neither character is limited to intelligence. I often find that dialogue for them can feel very stilted when the writer is so focused on Sounding Smart that they lose sight of what really drives these characters. I always re-read scenes with them a few extra times to try to notice if I’ve fallen into that trap.

 46.  Do you reread your own stories?

Absolutely! Sometimes it’s necessary, like when I’m writing a long story or a series and need to go back to remember what else has happened, or to get myself back in the “feel” of the story, so to speak. But I’ll occasionally re-read shorter stories, too, just for the fun of it. After all, I write what I want to read. ;) And if someone leaves a sweet comment, you can guarantee I’ll go back and re-read that story to try to figure out what they liked about it, and try to read it with their eyes.

[kylermalloy]

my Thoughts on rebels

Now I don’t have any hot takes or any controversial opinions to put out here. Rebels is a simple show with a simple plot. There’s not a whole lot to analyze, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to enjoy. Sometimes all you need is a straightforward concept with lovable characters. So let me proceed to squeal about Dave Filoni’s second masterpiece, Rebels.

Spoilers abound!

Before I say anything else...

THEY HAD A BABY I haven’t stopped squealing.

Zeb Okay I’ll start with Zeb, for no particular reason. He was the only main character I hadn’t really heard about or seen much of before I started watching. In the first few scenes with him, I was afraid he’d become his stereotype—the thuggish gorilla who argues all the time, disobeys orders, messes up plans, and borderline betrays his friends. I was so pleasantly surprised when none of that happened. Maybe by virtue of being a kids’ show, these characters don’t have *edgy* or twisted nuances. Zeb is fiercely loyal. He likes smashing heads in and gets grumbly sometimes, but he’s never a hindrance. He’s not just “the muscle”; his ingenuity saves the day on more than one occasion. If anything, his nuances take him the other way—he’s incredibly sensitive and childlike in some ways. Being one of the last of his kind is a major plot point of several episodes, which brings so much depth to him and his psyche. It also informs SO MUCH on his relationship with Kallus. Speaking of...

Kallus I never, ever expected Kallus to be anything more than a season-long plot device. The fact that he stuck around and went through actual character development?? Amazing. The episode where he and Zeb are stranded together is gold. He’s got a sense of honor even as he works for the Empire, sparing the rebels as Zeb spared him. He develops a new set of ideals thanks to our heroes, and he begins to question and regret the things he’s done for the Empire—ethnic cleansing of Zeb’s Lasat people included. And that last scene of them in the epilogue? I’m not gonna lie, it was a bit shippy.

KANERA I know while the show was airing, fans were constantly asking when Kanan and Hera were going to get together. But for me, they seemed to be married from the first episode. Hera calling Kanan “love” and teasing him? Kanan constantly worrying after Hera while simultaneously believing in her ability to do...absolutely everything? Their parenting of Ezra, Sabine, Chopper, and even Zeb? Explicitly referring to them as “the kids” and themselves as “Mom and Dad”? Yeah, they’re married. And let’s not underplay their strengths as individual characters. Kanan—or Caleb—is exactly what you would expect of a Jedi whose training is only halfway complete. He’s cool and awesome, but also riddled with self-doubt and uncertainty. And Hera is the mature voice of reason this merry band of children so desperately needs—except of course when she’s the one rushing headlong into danger, whether to get a fighter prototype or to steal a family heirloom or to save a couple pilots in a suicidally risky move. She’s a perfect blend of mature reason and headstrong determination that makes a true rebel. (Wait a minute...she’s totally Katara! Maybe that’s why I love her so much.)

Now back to them as a couple! Most of the show did nothing to advance their relationship—further reinforcing my headcanon that things were always happening between them behind the scenes. Even though they became official canon in the last season, the appearance of their kid in the epilogue proves I was right—based only on what we saw, there was no time for them to make a baby. Of COURSE there were things going on behind the scenes. 😏 (I found the interview that explains exactly where Jacen came from, and I was equal parts ecstatic and freaked out.)

Did I mention THEY HAD A BABY???

Ezra So apparently there are people in the Star Wars fandom who hate Ezra? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised; Star Wars fans hate everything. Except the OT. If you hate the OT you’re a heathen. I can’t really think of a solid reason why people hate Ezra, except for the fact that he seems to be a Luke Skywalker analog. He’s a poor kid with Force sensitivities who gets adopted by a Jedi and becomes a venerated leader of the Rebellion. He also finds an oddball group of friends he comes to call family but eventually bids them farewell after the death of his mentor. They’re not carbon copies, of course—Luke’s an optimistic idealist; Ezra’s a cynic. Luke whines; Ezra snarks. Luke blows up the Death Star and defeats Vader; Ezra completes a series of far more complicated missions and defeats Inquisitors and Thrawn. Again by virtue of him being the star of a tv show instead of just three feature length movies, he gets a lot more time to have his adventures. Maybe there’s some resentment over him getting more screentime than Luke? Maybe it’s because I’m just Not a Luke Skywalker stan. I like him fine, but I don’t hold him up as some perfect saintlike hero. (I didn’t have any problems with his TLJ characterization.) The people who do need to rewatch the OT they hold so dear. Luke’s a beautiful drama queen and you all should love him for that. But I’m here to talk about Ezra! Listen, this child is a disaster and a half—just like Luke, just like Anakin, just like young Obi-Wan. There is nothing to not like about him—except that he reminds you of your favorite characters but he’s not them.

Clone Wars characters I initially started watching this show solely for the characters I already knew from Clone Wars. Ahsoka Tano has been my girl ever since I started watching Clone Wars, and I didn’t even consider watching Rebels until I knew they had undone her death. (If there was just ONE character they could needlessly save via time travel, they picked the right one.) At any rate, she’s perfect in this show. She’s more grown-up, more mature, but still retains that *young and plucky* spirit. (For the record, I usually hate the *plucky* characters. Somehow, she works for me. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t really do that annoying cocky smirk thing.)

But it’s not just Ahsoka. Rex survived! I’m so glad at least one clone (two? Wolffe?) made it out of the war okay. And he’s great here. His constant snarking with Kanan reminded me so much of his banter with Anakin (and I’m sure it reminded him of that too ;-; ) His presence on Rebels isn’t strictly necessary, narratively speaking, but it’s just a nice tie-in to the world we got used to in Clone Wars. It reminds us that this world with the Empire was once the world of the Republic, and there are still clones out there—even if there’s no place for them in this new order. This of course reinforces the tragic narrative of clones as sentient beings created for nothing but combat. And again, I commend both shows for making me feel that narrative so deeply!

Hondo and Maul were two of my favorite antagonists from Clone Wars, so seeing their multiple appearances here filled me with joy. Hondo cracked me up, as usual, and Maul’s farewell was touching and heartbreaking. I almost wish he were still around! There’s still his duel with Ahsoka in season 7 of Clone Wars... 👀 Honestly what surprised me most about those two were the way they were both presented as protagonists. Hondo especially, and Maul does become an antagonist again. But it really speaks to the way all paradigms in the galaxy have shifted after the Republic became the Empire. In Clone Wars, Hondo was portrayed as an annoying hindrance to our heroes. Now with the Empire as an adversary to our main characters, Hondo is an ally. An untrustworthy one of course, mostly in it for the money, but his interests usually lie with helping our heroes, not hurting them. Besides, nothing tops his relationship with Ezra. Their first meeting had me in fits: “You lied to me?? I KNEW I liked you!” (Also I forgot to mention the running gag of Ezra introducing himself as Jabba the Hutt? Genius. And hilarious, since some people actually believe him at first)

THEY HAD A BABY!!!

Thrawn I need to see this guy again. Whether in a continuation where we learn what happened to him and Ezra, or some other moment in time where we see him younger, rising through the ranks of the Empire full of ambition and ideas. He’s quietly menacing, always confident and meticulous. He does a great job of making the rebels feel helpless in their fight, needling their pressure points and taunting them—but he never makes the conflict personal to him. He always remains detached, just a guy doing his duty. He’s just there to pick up interesting art pieces. I love the way he’s acted—always quiet, cultured, practically whispering. I didn’t know he was voiced by Lars Mikkelson until after I watched, but that was a perfect choice. I found the Inquisitors a little flat as villains (antagonists, whatever) and the other Empire ministers and governors not very threatening. Thrawn was the perfect balance (lol) between interesting and a genuine threat.

MANDALORE For all of Sabine’s merits as a character, I love her most in the Mandalorian arcs. The episode where she comes into her power and wields the darksaber is one of my favorites. She’s not a traditional stern, stoic Mandalorian character. She’s a free spirit, incredibly creative and intellectual. Yet she’s also afraid of her mind and what she could create—for years she created weapons for the Empire to feed her hubris. Maybe that’s why she mainly sticks to painting throughout the series. :) Anyway. I look forward to the follow-up detailing her adventures with Ahsoka.

Chopper I rolled my eyes so hard when I first saw Chopper. Everything from his name to his design screamed “kiddie version of R2D2” and I was fully prepared to hate him. I don’t. He’s just like R2, in that every sentence he says sounds like it’s punctuated with about ten different swearwords. It’s hilarious seeing such a cute character being so surly and even threatening on occasions! Chopper kicks some serious butt. He even comes with a tragic backstory!

Lastly, I don’t think I’ve mentioned...

THEY HAD A BABY AND HE’S ADORABLE

[movienotesbyzawmer]

October 21: Friday the 13th Part 3

(previous notes: Friday the 13th Part 2)

We're on a journey, you and I; a journey through the first eight Friday the 13th movies. And now we're at the only one that I actually saw in the theater! I was 11 when this came out, and I asked my dad to take me and a friend to see it in 3D. I remember mostly being excited about all the cool older kids that were in the crowd, plus also not being at all disappointed in the overall experience of cinematic violence.

And now I'm going to see it for the first time since then… and sure enough, I have it in 3D! I wonder if on my deathbed when I'm doing a mental inventory of my lifetime of experiences, if I will realize that I saw Friday the 13th Part 3 twice, both times in 3D. Will I wish I had the 2D experience at least once? Will I wonder if my life might have been different it… okay I'll shut up and watch it now, here goes…

Oh yeah, it does kind of suck to try taking notes while wearing the 3D glasses. Good thing this is just a Friday the 13th movie.

There is a card at the very start saying that the ladies and gentlemen of the audience must wear the glasses even though it won't be 3D right away!

Same director as the second one. He went on to do pretty successful non-horror movies, as I recall. The writer and director of the first movie weren't involved in any of the sequels at all, right?

Oh, the reason the beginning isn't in 3D is because it's a rehash of the end of the last movie. I wonder if they'll make it so that that ending sucks less. That's what I would do.

It's not even edited down, it's just the whole entire end of the last movie…

…oh, except, no, there is a new shot of Jason skulking away! And now the credits have started and there is a rockin' new theme, and I actually remember kind of thinking the rockin' theme was cool.

OMG the 3D here is going to be a huge problem. It is 3D, but it's broken. You know how when you look at a 3D thing without the glasses and there's the double vision thing? It's like I'm seeing the 3D effect AND the double vision. Am I supposed to have 50s-style red/blue glasses? I don’t have those. This is terrible to look at and despite everything I've noted above I am not going to watch it in 3D after all. (I tested another 3D Blu-ray and it looked fine so this is clearly just a shitty Blu-ray product. Oh well.)

The first scene after the credits is playfully doing 3D effects at us which I now cannot experience. Woe. Woe is me.

Woman in curlers is watching the story of the last movie as a news story on TV while worrying about a lurker outside. She's a little worried but she also realizes it's time to take the laundry in from the clotheslines.

Not even sure what the setting is here. The news reporter called the murders from the last one "the worst crime in local history".

The exposition has taught us about this couple who lives on this property that is a rabbit farm and a grocery store where the husband just grazes on the food. We know there's also a lurker! But there's also a snake in a rabbit cage that has mutilated a rabbit, and that snake jumps at the camera in some sort of Three Dimensional Effect! Plus also, lurker. Ch ch ch ch ch ha ha ha ha.

Husband checks a room and is butcher-knifed shockingly! These are not camp counselors. What did they do wrong. The wife gets killed quickly afterward, but with a different weapon, an arrow or something! Variety!

Now we're on some new characters. Fun lovin' young adults! One of them is a silly prankster who is insecure about his appearance. Will that play into the story later? Oh I hope so.

They all just arrived at a friend's house to pick them up for something. But uh oh… the van is on fire, look at the smoke! They are alarmed! But ha ha ha, no, it turns out there are hippies in the back of the van smoking grass ha ha! It’s their friends that had been deliberately a secret from us until this moment.

A merry Cheech/Chong scene ensues where they think the police are on their tail so they all have to swallow the drugs! But the police just pass them and it was all for nothing ha ha.

Unlike the first two movies, this Blu-ray transfer is riddled with marks and flaws.

The next tale in this saga, this veritable Odyssey, involves an old man lying on the road, obstructing their van trip. What is wrong with him! It turns out he's crazy; he is the sequel to the crazy old man from the first two movies. He is holding an eyeball maybe, and he tells them that his handheld eyeball means he has to warn them about doom or whatever. It doesn’t look like an eyeball. I am watching this movie.

The place they are at is some kind of ranch, not even a summer camp I don't think, but Chris, who it seems like might be the main girl, is reacquainting herself with a house on the premises that is adorned with many paintings. Maybe I missed where they explained who they are and what this place is, but it seems like they're just a bunch of young people who are spending a weekend at this ranch place where Chris used to hang out or live.

Insecure Guy played a trick which resulted in the 48th fakeout of the movie so far, he makes it look like he's been hatcheted, but it was just some clownin' with gore makeup. The dialogue is very, very unnatural.

Um, an incident just occurred at the grocery store! A different grocery store from where the opening murders happened. Insecure Guy was there with a friend, and some TUFFS show up to make trouble! They bully our protagonists and make them feel bad! That ends with Insecure Guy running over their motorcycles in a heroic moment for him. His character has a complex arc!

The TUFFS broke the windshield of the car, and all the characters are oddly tolerant of that.

The TUFFS apparently tracked our heroes to the ranch and are there to get some revenge. They gotta even the score! They're going to do that by siphoning gas from that stoner van apparently. But the TUFF that is a girl decides to go exploring. And someone we can't see is watching her! Hey, what kind of movie is this anyway? She is unnaturally amused by the various props on display in the barn she's exploring. She is so pleased with her decision to go exploring.

But she hears a noise! In the barn she has trespassed into! She decides to vigilantly investigate! But a moment later we see that she noticed the rope that hangs from the side of the barn and she swings on it. She is delighted! "This feels good", she actually exclaims while just swinging a little bit on a rope. I'm not sure the writers of this movie have ever met a person.

One of the TUFFS goes after her and finds her pitchforked! Then he gets pitchforked! Then the last remaining TUFF goes in there to investigate, having executed the masterful chess move of stealing gas out of the van, and gets in a fight with an assailant whose face we can't see, but who appears to have clean, pressed slacks. The last TUFF gets clubbed real good.

Insecure Guy tries to tell a pretty girl that he likes her. She responds by saying "no. I’m going to go outside for a little while, and when I come back inside, we'll talk." That's really how that exchange went. Have you ever been in an exchange like that.

We're on Chris now, and she's finally spilling the tea about her past. It turns out she was attacked by a grotesque man with a knife in the woods near her house. Just some mysterious man with a bad face. It ended with her losing consciousness and waking up with just that story which was apparently unbelievable to her parents. Glad we got to the bottom of that. Do you think this is a true story.

The way they're showing the killer makes him less scary than in the other movies. You see it's a male adult that has clean clothes and a casual, confident gait. We can't see his head at all but what we can see is well lit. Sometimes it's a fakeout because it isn't really the killer. But sometimes it is. Like just now the stoners went to investigate a mysterious noise in the barn. They don't find anything, but we see the killer, from the chest down, seeing them. Ch ch ch ch! Ha ha ha ha!

I think we just saw the first appearance of the hockey mask! Insecure Guy played another devious jape upon the pretty girl he was hoping to woo - she's sitting on a dock and he grabs at her ankle from underwater! Wearing a hockey mask. For some reason. He had a mask earlier, but it was a different one. Maybe his identity is "mask guy". Because in a way are not we all Mask Guy.

Jason, I guess, just killed that girl with a spear gun while wearing the hockey mask! It was a 3D gimmick death. Shot her right in the eye. I think when they had their first meeting about making this movie they just said "okay, let's just make a list of some different murder weapons and send it over to Fred, he'll write it up as a screenplay."

One of the guys just got macheted! I think I do remember that from before because he was a handstand walker-arounder and he was walking on his hands when Jason came upon him and swung the machete down between his legs! It didn't actually show it, but you know how he got sliced and ow.

That guy's girlfriend was in the shower when that happened, and when she comes out, she is distracted when she comes upon a very enticing issue of Fangoria magazine. They're in a bubble, the makers of this movie.

But that scene ends with her seeing her dead boyfriend in pieces above her in the rafters, and they are very gory pieces, and then she gets bowie-knifed from under the hammock as she's laying in it! Many deaths. Oh, the many deaths.

We didn't see Insecure Guy get killed; we only assume he's dead because Jason has the hockey mask now.

Oh, I had just typed that when Insecure Guy arrives at the stoner girl's door with a slashed throat. She doesn't believe it's real because he is such a fooler. Plus also maybe because it's not a very good gore effect by any standards. Suddenly her boyfriend is getting killed somewhere else in a manner that has to do with an electrical box, it all happened so fast! Then she herself gets run through with a hot poker! Jason is being very diligent about killing each victim in a different way.

Pretty sure all that's left now is Chris and her boyfriend, who were off somewhere talking about her terrible experience with a grotesque man. They are returning now, and we will soon see them realize that they are in a world of murder! murder! murder!

The boyfriend has a very square jaw. One of the squarest, really.

The most Hitchcock-y shot so far - Chris is looking out the front door and calling out for Square Jaw… she can't see him but we can, around the corner, being muzzled by Jason just out of her view! Then she goes back inside and Jason just squishes his head with his hands! Eyeball pops out and it is 3D. Unless it isn't, which in this case is what it is(n't).

Chris is exploring the campus trying to get some answers, and the body of one of the TUFFS is suddenly dangled in front of her from like a tree branch or something. Then she goes inside and wonders what oh what will become of her, and Square Jaw's body is hurled through the window. Each movie has multiple instances of bodies getting inexplicably thrown through windows and suddenly dangling out of the sky at just the right time for it to be scary.

She comes upon Jason in the house and they tussle! She stabs him in the leg with a knife that she extracted from a body that was conveniently nearby! He pulls it out and throws it at her with Olympic-caliber precision, but she still gets away.

She runs to the van and has the keys and starts it up even! Drives away and everything! But it runs out of gas so she literally just runs back to the ranch. Like, "back to the drawing board" I guess.

I can't stress enough how odd and disappointing it is that Jason just walks and dresses like a normal man, other than the fact that above the neck he is disguised by the mask. He doesn't limp or lurch or hunch, and again, he has clothes that, while plain, are oddly presentable for someone who is some kind of supernatural homicidal forest hermit.

Here now is another thing I remember from seeing this in Actual Nineteen Eighty Two; Jason's hanging from this pulley thing where she thinks she has him killed or immobilized or something, and he be-s alive at her, and even lifts up the mask to show his grotesque face! It's so that she can realize that he's the same guy that attacked her in the woods in the story she told from several years earlier.

He's about to get her… but one of the TUFFS is not dead, and emerges to fight Jason. That ends badly for the TUFF, he gets de-handed and just beaten down badly, but meanwhile Chris axes Jason in the head.

And here is what happens the next morning to blow our minds at the end of this movie. She has gotten in a canoe to get a good night's sleep. All tuckered out, time to hit the canoe, right? Then in the morning she wakes up in the canoe and spots Jason with a big head wound from her axe, he's just looking at her through a window of the house. He's totally going to come get her. But instead of him getting her, a lady emerges from the lake and pulls her in! It's maybe Jason's mother? But she's all ghoulish so we don't really know. Seems like that's the same sweater though. But also, her head is attached to her body, whereas the movie began by very clearly reminding us that Mom's severed head is a cabin somewhere else. But anyway, just like in the first movie, the consequence of that surprise waterborne attack is that she is being cared for by paramedics a little later, all confused.

This is a bad movie! So bad! From this team I expected so much this exact thing.

(next: Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter)

[goliath-de-senfina-sango]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Danny Phantom Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dash Baxter/Danny Fenton, Jack Fenton/Maddie Fenton Characters: Dash Baxter, Wesley Weston, OC - Character, Danny Fenton, Tucker Foley, Sam Manson, Ghost Writer (Danny Phantom), Andrew Riter Additional Tags: Soulmates, Reluctant Soulmates, countless headcanons, Not Phantom Planet Compliant, my canon now, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Identity Reveal, will tag with progress, No Betas we die like fools Summary:

Casper High is a school that has several clubs, including the Occult Club, which Dash should've stayed very far away from no matter what Wes said. Now thanks to the conspiracy theorist, Phantom was pissed at him and the jock and hero were soulbound by a spell that Wes had fudged and Dash had mispronounced. How's he gonna make it up to his hero?

Or

The soulmates fic that only my best bro really wanted out of me, which my brain was forced to provide.

Ao3 / Fanfiction.net

In hindsight, Dash should've stayed away from the occult club altogether.  Sure, Wes had said they were gonna use some magick ritual they'd figured out to summon phantom, but people generally wanted to think they could do that and a club at school was the least likely to succeed.   But Weston had been confident and Dash wasn't gonna pass on an opportunity to meet his hero without an attack happening.

So he'd gone along with it, even demanded to be the one to do it when they started.  There was a chalk circle on the floor, candles, and one of em had a fuckin needle to prick themself with for it.  Whatever, Dash wasn't unused to a little pain - he busted his knuckles on nerd's faces sometimes. So he got a drop on the circle, and he said the chant, and the candles turned green instead of reddish-yellow.  But while the room went dark and cold and started looking like the night sky had come down to grab them, Dash may have fucked up a word in the book.  

There he appeared, in a flash of light so bright Dash had to squint.  Sky blue skin, a halo of white hair, freckles that glowed green and that ghost hunting hazmat suit of his.  While Phantom was looking around like he was dizzy, Dash felt something. He Saw it, even, a line of bright silver that came out of his chest and turned toxic green before ending at the DP on Phantom's chest.  Frowning, Dash looked over at the head of the club. "The fuck is this? A cord?"

"Oh no… oh no no no."  The head nerd, a brunette with glasses and a mint green shirt, grabbed the book in Dash's hand and read what he'd said.  Then his head whipped over to Wes and the basketballer backed up, his camera flashing the recording light. "You fucked up the summoning ritual!"

"Austin, I swear I was just-"

"This is a binding ritual, Wes, it binds the spirit to the target object - the circle, it looks like?"

"Pretty shitty binding," Phantom said, turning everyone's attention back to him.  The blue-faced ghost was floating all around the room, soft green inner light casting weird shadows everywhere.   "I'm nowhere near it. What is this thing between me and Dash though?"

"… Fuck."  Wes quickly played back his recording on his camera to listen to what Dash had chanted.  Dash could hear the moment he fumbled the words and Wes paled when he heard it. "That was the wrong subject word-"

"So you've bound Phantom's soul to Dash's soul now, is what I'm translating here.   Cause that, wait lemme.” Austin grabbed the camera and replayed the video a few times while Dash dealt with a sea of complicated emotions.  Confusion, shock, anger, resentment, anxiety. Those last three weren’t new per se but they felt… off. Not his. “Wes this is a permanent binding what the fuck?!”

“It wouldn’t’ve been permanent!  We coulda scuffed the circle and the thing he’s bound to would be gone!”

Phantom reached down and grabbed the ginger by his shirt, lifting him two feet off the ground.   His eyes were blue and gold and red, that dim green aura was now white and yellow and flaring up in arcs.  “So lemme get this straight, Wesley. In your insane attempts to prove me as the still-living son of ghost hunters, you decided you'd bind me to a chalk circle.  Which might bind me to the chalk itself, tearing me apart to keep myself connected to since you're a fucking hack."

"I-I-I hadn't uh thought of that, b-"

"And instead of that you let Dash, a jo- no THE Jock, read off the spell and so now you've bound me, irreversibly, to another person's soul.  Did I get that right?"

Wes nodded the slightest bit, his entire frame shaking and Dash couldn't blame him.   Dash was entirely up for pummeling Wes for fucking up his hairbrained scheme, but Phantom looked like he was about to rip Wes apart.  He had fangs and his hair was turning into a cloud of fire that sucked all the heat out of the room instead of pushing it out into everything.  Wes' shirt was frosting over and Austin and his band of merry freaks were shivering.

"When you get to the afterlife, Wes, I promise you a world of pain.  And if you do something so fucking stupid and dangerous that it risks my safety and the safety of everyone else around you again, I'm tossing you to the police by your Fucking underwear!"  Wes was dropped on his ass and Phantom growled, fading from sight. There was a Pop, all the pressure in the room shifting, and Dash rubbed his head with a groan.

"Wes you fucking idiot!  Now Phantom is pissed at me and it's your fault!"  Phantom may have decided not to give Wes what he had coming to him, Dash didn't have superpowers to worry about getting out of hand.

And so Dash had detention that day for wailing on a fellow school athlete.

“I swear I’m going to shatter his camera into a million tiny pieces and make him eat them,”  Danny growled and struggled with not breaking his locker when he slammed it shut. The lights overhead buzzed louder and shone brighter from the energy pouring out of him, and Danny took several deep breaths.  “Not only was what he wanted to do stupid and dangerous, now I’m fucking - what, Soulmates? With him?”

“Chill, Danny, I’m sure we can fix this.”  Tucker pulled his sash from around his shirt and with a flick, it became a scepter once more.  Holding out the golden rod over Danny, a look of concentration passed over the geek’s face while azure light bathed Danny’s body.  The green thread leading off toward Dash was highlighted, though the silver threads leading to Tucker, Sam and Jazz were also visible and even the blue ones trailing off to his Mom and Dad.  Tucker’s magick wrapped around his green thread and for a moment, Danny was sure that it’d be cut and all of this would be over and dealt with.

Tucker’s scepter was knocked out of his hand and clattered loudly on the tile floor of the school and the green thread shone brighter than before, seeming to have simply soaked up the magick.  Danny’s growl was deep in his chest this time, and one of the lights blew a fuse. “That’s fucking ridiculous! He just read off the spell without even knowing what it did, why would that be stronger than the Pharoah’s command?”

“The language might not be from this world, Danny.  We’ll have to ask Andrew if he knows how to undo it.”  Sam patted Danny on his shoulder and he leaned onto her, embracing the calm of her aura.  The bell rang and Danny pulled his hood over his head, pulling it shut over his face with the drawstrings.  “C’ mon, let’s get you home and we can head over to see him right now.”

Danny grumbled as he was pulled along by Sam and Tucker outside to the parking lot, where all three of them pulled out their hoverboards.  Danny mounted his star and nebulae covered creation and slipped on his helmet. The one he’d made for Tucker was gold and chrome-colored, a techno styled F on the bottom of it, while Sam’s was black with creeping vines appearing to weave all around it.  It had been fun building these boards with Tucker and personalizing them since they made flying to school easier on them all. Magnetic boots locked in place, Danny slipped on the remote control glove and took off, followed closely by his friends into the even sky to the envious stares of their schoolmates.

The only ghosts that got in their way home were Skulker and the Box Ghost, and while Boxy was easy to take down with a few well-placed shots, Danny had to split off a Phantom copy while still in human form to take down Skulker, which sucked because he didn’t have the energy to make one as strong as he normally was in ghost form.  With a kick to Skulker’s head that removed his helmet, and a swift click of the button on the Thermos, Skulker was dealt with and they headed to Fenton works.

Descending the stairs of the Fenton home to the basement lab and finding it empty was a blessing, mostly available due to Sam and her meddling in the business affairs of Fenton Works.  Getting to the Ghost Writer’s library from there was a cakewalk, and soon they were knocking on his doors.

“Andy, I have a problem and I need your help fixing it!”  Getting no reply for a moment, Danny took a deep superfluous breath and whined loudly against the door.  “Aaandyyyyy!” The door opened inward fast enough that Danny hit the floor, and grumbled something rude about Vidya playing cruel pranks on him.

“Don’t pretend that Vidya doesn’t love you about as much as she does me, Danny, you’ll never get away with a lie that flimsy.”  The baritone laughter of the Ghost Writer, otherwise known to a few as Andrew Riter, met Danny’s ears and a shark-toothed smile greeted Sam and Tucker.  The librarian in grey and purple invited them deeper in to sit on couches and cushions scattered about the shelves of the library and cups of coffee and tea set themselves down on the table before them.  “Alright, what trouble have you gotten yourselves into this time?”

“This time it wasn’t one of us, actually.”  Sam nudged Danny with her boot and he slumped against Tucker, taking a long sip of his tea.  “An idiot, Wes, tried to bind him to a circle during an event that the Occult Club was performing to summon Danny, but they let Dash Baxter read it and when Danny appeared, apparently Dash stuttered the wrong words and now he and Danny are bound by the soul.  As far as we know.”

Andrew adjusted his glasses, eyes narrowed at Danny as a trio of books flew to him and Danny repeated the spell for Andrew to decipher.  “Give me a couple of days to look this one up. Artificially created Soul Bonds like that typically break with the right spell and if both parties agree to sever the link.”  Tucker groaned while Danny buried his face in his hands.

“I have to convince Dash to unlink himself with me?  Wonderful. Fuck me, I guess.”

Tucker patted the ghost boy on his shoulder and Danny whined.

Ao3 / Fanfiction.net

[coasterchild]

once again, twitter got me all riled up thinking about Star Wars, so for mostly my own peace of mind here are:

The character arcs we DESERVED in TRoS

-Rey 

Learning to shoulder the burden, like Luke before her, of being the One True Savior of the Galaxy. People depend on her, they expect her to be a Hero and a Jedi and beyond failure. Leia tries to keep her grounded, but she pushes herself too hard. (this is where I'd throw Ahsoka in to help her achieve balance) (maybe a cameo from luke force ghost later on. "How did you do this, Luke. How did you do this alone?" "I was never alone. And neither are you.") She has a breakthrough when she's fighting something herself, a big monster or too many first order troops or a handful of tie fighters or whatever. She tells everyone to go, get to safety, she'll hold them off. 

Poe, Rose, and some assortment of droids do as they're told, disappearing around a corner. 

Rey is repelling blaster bolts or slicing tentacles (of course it has tentacles) or whatever, and she's nearly overwhelmed when she feels a hand on her shoulder. It's Finn, he looks terrified, and just as another attack approaches, a shockwave of a Force push emanates in a radius around them. Rey: "How did you do that?!" Finn: "I don't know!!" and they both take off running. Finn (there's some indication that he's a natural at sensing things in the Force) can detect where attacks will be coming, and uses it to make their escape clean. Poe, Rose & co swoop in just in time with a stolen imperial shuttle. (they had no intention of leaving her behind either)

There’s perhaps a poignant scene with Kylo where he makes some comment about her facing him alone. And she’s like “I’m not alone, and you don’t have to be either.”

With new found confidence, she faces off with the big bad. (I'm assuming still Palpatine here, but I'm VERY open to other options.) Redeemed Ben is there, fights happen, it basically goes down as it does in the movie (minus the Rey Palpatine nonsense), but now “I am every Jedi” is about the fact that she’s not alone, not ever. She has the power to defeat ol’ sheev because of those who came before her, the people who fight with her now, and her own strength of will to see it through. 

(also Finn’s voice is in the every Jedi thing, because he can feel her reaching out, asking for help without realizing it)

-Finn

Having committed himself to the Resistance after the events of TLJ, Finn is finally starting to feel comfortable in his role. His cause is just, there are people here who love him (rey and poe and rose!!), and he’s GOOD at what he does. 

Some plot device or another takes their merry band to a planet that has just managed to fight off the First Order presence plaguing them. They learn it was when the inhabitants were informed there would be another “Harvest”, which we eventually learn means officers backed by troopers with, just, so many blasters, go into homes and take children, usually infants and toddlers, as recruits. This planet has been a target before, and this time, they refused. At great cost. 

Anyway, yadda yadda yadda: WE MEET FINN’S PARENTS. Maybe he has a little sister?? Maybe she shows signs of having……… THE FORCE.. (Finn: when was the last Harvest? Mysterious parental figure: oh I’d say around [exactly when Finn was taken]) (Maybe he’s a SECRET PRINCE???) Anyway…

It’s a lot to take in, he has some heart-to-hearts with people, eventually they have to move on for plot reasons, but Finn has a home to go back to now. He never thought he’d have that.

And Finn is going through all kinds of emotional growth because GUESS WHAT in the final battle (don’t worry Jannah’s still there and they ride in on space horsies because that was great.), Finn (with Rose’s help!!) gains access to the Final Order inter-ship communication system and broadcasts a message offering amnesty and safe harbor for any trooper who stands down. Who stops taking life in defense of control and fear and starts living for the sake of Hope.

 Then, when Poe and the other pilots think they're beat, one of the star destroyers turns on the others. And then another. And it's not the whole fleet, but a few mutinied ships just might be enough to buy them the time they need…

Maybe there’s a dramatic pause where Poe is like “we’re outgunned. We can’t do anything all alone out here.” And Finn, noticing a SD turning its cannon at another, “Poe… I don’t think we’re alone.” Explosion! Cheers!! This is the legacy of FN-2187

-Poe

Poe!!! So he’s been given more authority in the Resistance, and he’s learned from TLJ. He’s still daring and wisecracking and undeniably poe, but with Leia’s guidance and Holdo’s example he’s become more measured, more thoughtful in planning his missions. And the success rate of the Resistance has improved because of it.

But now that he gives himself time to breathe, time to THINK, Poe finds dealing with the losses they do suffer harder and harder to bear. We get some juicy background stuff about his mom, about how his father took the news of her death, and how he wanted, more than anything, to live up to her. (none of the spice running backstory happens. If Zorri exists she’s actually given some kriffing THOUGHT as a character and not just a prop to affirm Poe’s alleged heterosexuality)

I’m not 100% sure how this one plays out. There’s definitely a Leia pep talk in there somewhere. She tells him that Shara would be so proud of him. EMOTIONS.

Ooh, there could be some good Lando moments too (especially to pick up the slack regarding obvious limitations with Carrie’s part). He knows what it’s like to make impossible decisions because you’re responsible for people. 

“Responsibility is heavy, and it might always feel like someone else is more qualified or more capable or more prepared to face it, but remember: One of the most capable people I’ve ever met tells me you’re the right one for the job. The only one she trusts to get it done. And when Leia Organa says she needs you, you do what you can, son. You do what you can, and when you make a mistake, you go back and you fix it. Getting hung up on anything else will drag you down, and I have it on good authority that you were meant to be in the sky, General Dameron.” 

-Rose is kind of our audience surrogate for Finn’s journey. She has to grapple with the fact that most if not all of the stormtroopers they face are never actually given a choice in what they fight for, and what that might mean for their tactics. She helps him realize that learning where he comes from doesn’t replace who he’s made himself into, it only adds to it. 

After the war, she oversees efforts to rebuild planets like Finn’s, to help them recover from the effects of First order occupation. Maybe Chewie goes with her!!

Finn Rey and Poe live happily ever after in Finn’s palace home, and maybe every so often people--sometimes parents with a young child exhibiting certain gifts, sometimes a teenager who can’t explain why rocks tend to float when they get excited about something, and all kinds of other folks, young and old--come knocking, saying they want to learn the ways of the Skywalker. 

[neverwatchedonepiece]

623-624: "Time for Tearful Goodbyes! Departure from Punk Hazard!" and "G5 Destroyed! Doflamingo's Raid!"

DOFLAMINGO, YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE, PLEASE. D:

Those veins will blow any second! 

You need to relax. Subscribe to Headspace. Take a yoga class. Kill some innocent Marines--- oh...

Oda has knocked it out of the park yet again. Now Doflamingo has entered the game, the implications of the wider criminal network of New World pirates has come to the fore. This, of course, means Law’s plan to take down Kaidou is not only super ambitious but also fraught with peril.

Considering I go on and on about peril like a broken record, this is a good thing.

And sorry about that last mini hiatus, by the way. Blame it on full rewrites and Resident Evil 2.

“Watcha thinkin’ bout, Luffy?”  “Chikkin.”

“And thus the Strawhat crew spent some time intoxicated during their celebrations.”

Eloquently summed up by the Narrator, I feel. xD  Totally love how the Strawhats can switch from party mode to sober and ready to sail within minutes. Guess that’s part of the pirate job description. Things change on a whim out there in the New World. Sobering up fast is a vital survival skill.

There was a mini recap of the terms of Law’s alliance with Luffy. Smoker wanted to know what was going on. “There’s no way you believed I’d keep a promise to a pirate like you. If you really wanted to silence me, you had plenty of chances to kill me. What are you planning to use Strawhat for?”

At first I was like, what the hell, Smoker? Stop being arsey with all the Marines vs Pirates crap. You only escaped Punk Hazard alive because you teamed up with Law. Everyone’s on the same page right now. What happens on Punk Hazard stays on Punk Hazard. None of your men will rat on you for chatting to Law. Later, of course, I changed my opinion on this.

The recap of the Law/Luffy alliance chat revealed a bit more information about Kaidou. According to Law, Kaidou the Beast is known as the most powerful creature in the world. Creature, I think, being the operative word here because he might not actually be human?

One of those hype-building silhouette stills showed up, with Big Mom, Blackbeard, Kaidou, Shanks and Whitebeard. Couldn’t make out much of Kaidou, so I’m still none the wiser on the appearance front. Maybe he’ll be hairy, with that whole beast thing he’s got going on.

Back in the present, Law was characteristically cagey about the chat with Smoker. He told Smoker there was no real reason he let him live, but turned round and spilled that he was “planning on heading to Green Bit.”

I’m still confused about the Green Bit scene. Mainly because I have no clue where/what it is. Is is a code name for Dressrosa? Is it another island completely? Is it a town somewhere in the New World? Or is Law trying to throw Smoker off the scent because he doesn’t want his favourite smokey Marine to be endangered again?

Whatever the case, Law had some final business to attend to before waving goodbye to Punk Hazard. Caesar, Baby 5 and Buffalo were chained up in a corner and drew the filthiest looks when he walked over. (Well, Baby 5 and Buffalo did. Caesar was still unconscious.) They really are acting as if Law has betrayed them somehow.

Doflamingo also keeps calling Law a brat. Vergo was also riding the brat train hard. Can’t help but think Law was affiliated with Doflamingo when he was a kid. Maybe he resented it all these years and this is overdue payback.

We hate love hate love you JUST GO BEFORE WE CRY!

At the harbour, the Strawhats continued to be absolute diamonds. Apparently, Nami and Chopper refused to sail until they knew the kids would be okay. The good news is that Vegapunk himself offered to help cure the kids of Caesar’s meth candy! Wonder what Vegapunk is thinking right now. He used to work with Caesar. Probably, “Always knew that guy was an asshole.”

As Luffy couldn’t be bothered waiting for another Marine ship to arrive, he told Smoker to just take the SAD tanker and send the kids home on it. Good decision, given a feathery menace was approaching at speed.

The scene with the G5 pretending to hate the Strawhats - erecting a protective banner so the kids wouldn’t be able to thank the dirty, cheating pirates - made me mad at first. I thought, damn, was that ungrateful or what? The Strawhats were the reason they escaped Caesar’s lab with their lives. If the Strawhats hadn’t been there, they would be locked up in cells and the last thing they’d ever hear would be a hiss of gas and a soft, “Shurorororororororo....”

But when the foghorn blasted and the ship set sail, Oda revealed some of the G5 guys’ inner thoughts. Sanji lead them out. Zoro and Tashigi teamed up. Law and Smoker fought together. Usopp guided the Minions to safety. Chopper and Nami helped the kids. Then I saw the sweat drops and the oddly tight jawlines.

Yup. They were fronting.

When Tashigi called them out on their rudeness, they even admitted it. “But Tashigi-chan, if we don’t stop insulting them, we’ll end up actually liking these outlaws.”

Ha. It is way too late for that, G5. You love the Strawhats. No one can escape the roaring event horizon of their charm.

Luffy was totally oblivious to it all. He just laughed and, “What weird Marines.” I mean, come on, G5. Don’t you realise by now that Luffy does not do subtlety?

As they walked to the ship, Zoro suddenly realised Law was tagging along. Usopp whispered in his ear, “Oh yeah, you don’t know. Luffy’s making trouble again.” Poor Zoro. Always the last one to know. xD

A brief flashback of all the major moments in the arc finished it up nicely. Luffy taking that DDM distress call, the fiery dragon, finding Kinemon, discovering Caesar had been drugging innocent kids, Smiley, Luffy declaring he would “kick Caesar’s ass and kidnap him” (best), saving Mocha, Caesar gloating about how well connected and protected he was before the final grizzly magnum smacked him out of the action.

A standard, uplifting ending with dramatic fanfare and Luffy shouting, “SET SAIL!”

But not quite.

For Doflamingo drew nigh...

Law Didn’t Spend Seven Years In Med School To Be Called Traff

The scene when Law chatted to Doflamingo over DDM was probably my favourite across 623-624. It ramped up the stakes and reset the peril level to red alert. Only one might be tied with it.

Doflamingo bounded across the “sky path” (what is that?”) He bemoaned the fact it cut short. “You brats seem to have the devil’s luck.” He spied something floating on a raft below. He found Buffalo and Baby 5′s disembodied heads chained to it. He jumped down for a chat.

It was weird seeing Baby 5 and Buffalo so contrite. They kept declaring how ashamed they were. “I wanna apologise with my death. I was needed and couldn’t help,” etc. Doflamingo didn’t want to kill them. He needed answers.

What Doflamingo didn’t spy was a video DDM. Law’s voice spoke through it.

“What a surprise. I didn’t think the boss would come out himself.”

“Is that you, Law? Long time no see. Couldn’t you have stayed so I could talk to you in person?” At the point, Doflamingo was still supremely confident.

“If you’re looking for Caesar, he’s with me.”

To hammer home the point, Caesar’s wheedling voice cried, “JOKERRRRRR, PLEASE SAVE ME!” (Lol, oh Caesar.)

“Where are Baby 5 and Buffalo’s bodies?”

“That’s not what we’re talking about,” Law said, taking back control of the conversation. “Let’s make a deal.”

“Don’t try to be so tough,” Doflamingo laughed. “A brat shouldn’t try to act like an adult.” (There’s that calling Law a brat again. Plus, Doflamingo tried to take back control of the situation by ignoring Law and pressing his own agenda.) “Where are you right now? You shouldn’t anger me?”

“Anger? Your most important trading partner is Kaidou the Beast. You’re the one who shouldn’t anger him. What do you think would happen if he found out you couldn’t make SMILEs anymore? He’s not a man you can negotiate with. There would be a brutal battle. You would be killed.”

For the first time, the slasher smile was wiped off Doflamingo’s face. Forehead veins began to throb. That had obviously hit a nerve.

“You’re taking this joke too far, Law. What do I have to do for you to give back Caesar? What are your demands?”

And there it was. It definitely hit a nerve because Doflamingo has deigned to negotiate with the brat. Kaidou really must be something if he can intimidate Doflamingo. 

Law’s demand was kind of weird. It must mean something, but I have no idea what yet.

“Give up your Shichibukai post. Throw away everything you have gained these past ten years and return to being a normal pirate. Of course, if you do that, the Admirals will hunt you down. You have until tomorrow morning’s news. If I see you’ve retired from the Shichibukai, I’ll contact you again. If I see nothing, negotiations are over.”

I have no idea why Doflamingo *needs* the Shichibukai position so badly (other than being able to live on Dressrosa, I guess) but Law threatening to take it from him in exchange for Caesar made him M. A. D.

Multiple veins popped.

It was not pretty.

I guess Doflamingo is now on a deadline. Here’s hoping he does not catch up with the Strawhats before they reach Dressrosa. For that is their canon confirmed next destination! They are sailing to meet Doflamingo on his home turf. Foolhardy? Of course! It wouldn’t be the Strawhats otherwise, right?

Meanwhile... Back On Sunny

This was so funny. Chopper fixing up Caesar so he can beat him all over again. Even Sanji said, “What kind of doctor are you?” But Caesar, though. Imagine bitching and moaning, “Oweeee, it hurts!” when you gleefully killed tons of people without a flicker of remorse. You deserve it, Caesar. Suck it up and take the L.

Franky also told the story of how he retrieved Mini Merry Mark II eight times (Franky’s long, luscious hair in bunches was excellent, btw).

While Sunny descended a Sea Slope (dat Oda creativity again), the team gathered round to discuss The Plan.  Zoro, now aware the plan was to take down a Yonkou, was suddenly and enthusiastically on board. Luffy asked if anyone objected and Brook replied, “Does objecting do anything?” (Lol, Brook.)

Sanji reminded Law again with a whisper in his ear that Luffy’s idea of an alliance is different from his. I think this might mean something later, so I am recording every instance of this warning as it’s come up twice now.

Then Sanji called Caesar a weird sheep and smacked him when Caesar said, “You’re all fools. You think you’ll get away with this? You’ve landed yourselves on some major big shots’ wanted lists. I hope you realise your foolishness before you die.”

And Chopper was like, “Oi. No kicking until after I’m done treating him.” xD

Law updated the Strawhats on the situation. Most of the Big Name Pirates of the New World have turf on this sea. This has created a massive criminal syndicate. Everyone is linked with everyone else. The scale of operations is on a completely different scale than the Strawhats have been used to. Deals and trades are done in secret so the don’t attract Marine attention. Law also updated them on Doflamingo’s trading relationship with Kaidou.

I’m not sure but I get the feeling Law is enjoying the prospect of taking down Doflamingo even more than Kaidou. There is history between these two and I cannot wait to find out what it is.

Ahem...

And the scene that is tied with Law threatening Doflamingo over DDM?

Why it’s the scene when Aokiji Showed Up Out Of Nowhere To Kick Doflamingo’s Ass, of course!

While Smoker and his G5 guys stayed behind to rescue any petrified survivors (still a bit salty about that, but I’ll get over it), Doflamingo landed on Punk Hazard like a bomb going off. A single, loose pink feather falling to earth was all the warning they had. Then he hit them with Conqueror’s Haki.

The veins. Oh, the veins. Veins galore criss-crossed that forehead. I counted approximately twenty.

I thought, this guy is out for blood. But he had questions that needed answered first. Doflamingo is not a reckless guy.

“Are they all gone? The tanker’s not here, either. I believe a group of pirates were just here until a minute ago. Where did they go?”

Maybe if he hadn’t opened with Conqueror’s Haki, he would have got some answers. G5 resented the fact he’d attacked them. There was an attempt to fight Doflamingo. An attempt.

With a few twitches of his fingers, Doflamingo took control of their bodies.

“Law could be a problem but Strawhat is just a pirate. Where did you let them run off to?” He turned the G5 against each other, forced friendly-fire massacre style. His pointy shoe stomped a random G5′s chest. “ANSWER ME. What direction did those brats go?”

When the G5 couldn’t answer, they had outlived their usefulness. “Then die.”

Luckily, Smoker smoked into the fray and saved their asses. There was a brief stare off. Doflamingo had a Scary Shiny Glasses moment.

“Smoker, tell me where those brats are.”

This is when Smoker really came through for me. He knew Doflamingo was a corrupt betrayer of the Marines. He played dumb, but could not resist getting a jab in at Doflamingo.

“Who knows? I sure don’t, Joker. They must’ve slipped through our fingers. How can I explain this to our Base Commander, Vergo?”

Smoker made two mistakes. He revealed to Doflamingo that he knows his underworld nickname and hinted he was aware of Vergo’s true allegiance.

Doflamingo’s voice went eerily quiet (I like his VA). “He’s dead, right? It sounds like you know too much.” His hands twitched and he leapt at Smoker.

Does Doflamingo have telekinesis, or something like that? A power that lets him control the movement of others? I’m still not sure what it is. It looked great in the fight, though. Smoker kept getting cut by slashes out of nowhere.

Then, just as Doflamingo sat on Smoker, about to end his existence, a Presence drew up behind him.

“Oh, my. Sorry, little boy. Could you move, please? He’s my friend.”

Holy hype machine, Batman.

You could have knocked me down with a feather. Aokiji, fresh from quitting the Marines, is back in business!

Doflamingo is not having a good day. 

Usopp has become oddly genre-savvy.

[sweetdeathwrites]

silent night

Summary: Holiday shopping is always stressful, but somehow, Gokudera managed to finish shopping even with the added responsibilities of his duties as right hand man to Tsuna and the organization of the annual Vongola-Varia holiday party. Still, Gokudera can't shake the feeling that he's missing something... and he hates not knowing.

[23 year old!Gokudera Hayato/Reader] Warnings: angst, doubt, self-hatred, guilt.... the full package baby! plus some sexual innuendo/referenced sexual situations

Word Count: 6,253

(reposted [crossposted? idk what that means...] from my Luna/AO3 account!)

(Original author’s note and details:

[a gift for dark_wing19 in the 2018 Holiday Fic Trade!! Happy Holidays and I hope you enjoy!] A/N: Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas if you celebrate that, and Happy New Year! This was so incredibly fun to write and I never really pegged myself as the type of person to enjoy writing holiday fic!! I mention a few times about the Vongola having a Holiday party instead of a Christmas party because I wanted to be respectful of all readers, but also because don’t you think the Vongola would do just that?? I can imagine the Vongola and Varia getting into arguments about how to celebrate everyone’s holidays without having multiple parties because, as we all know, parties that extend well into hundreds of people are no doubt expensive, but more importantly, the Vongola and Varia are very busy people! And all that plane fare for those groups going from one place to the other?? That would just break the bank! I like to imagine the top bosses (yes, I’m including Dino) gathering together and deciding that they will all have one big party together, and celebrate every holiday and religious day that occurs within the season! I think the bosses can be very reasonable when it comes to parties. This fic is for dark_wing19!! I’m really sorry about the wait, I had this almost done by Dec 24th and planned to post on Christmas but time got away from me and blah blah blah… It IS still technically within the deadline so I hope you didn’t wait too long! I tried to use all prompts, “In search of the perfect gift,” “All I want for Christmas is you,” “Sometimes the best gifts aren’t materialistic,” and “It’s the thought that counts!”. Hope you enjoy it! It got weirdly angsty for a hot sec so sorry about that lol I imagine Gokudera and the gang are older in here, but not quiet 10YL! Yet. Maybe they’re 23?)

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It’s that time of the year again. Bells are ringing, children play in the freshly fallen snow, and the storefronts sparkle with unbeatable, slashed deals. It’s twilight, and Christmas trees and light decorations shine warmly in nearby parks, leaving the general feeling of contentedness twisting in the air. Couples walk down the street, arm in arm, blushing with a gentle passion as their little intimate bubbles of love remain unburst by the slow muddle of foot traffic. The one, teensy, ashen little smudge on the eve of the most magical time of the year is currently pushing against traffic, through lovebirds who squawk in protest and annoyance, and stepping in wide arcs much too harshly, crunching and slushing freshly fallen snow. Children complain and some throw feeble snowballs, but they all miss (did they want to deal with the consequences of if, by some terrible, unlikely miracle, they hit him?). Big, poisonous clouds of smoke curl out from his nostrils like some sort of fairy tale dragon, and lovers and young ones alike know to stay clear from him. This man is Gokudera Hayato.

Gokudera has his mind on other things, though. Right now, he’s thinking of his boss and friends– the people he’s been calling his family for years. He’s marking down everyone he’s gotten presents for and which gift wrap would suit them the best (because of course he’s going to color code them– how could he not?), all the while shouldering his way back to his shared apartment with you. Finally, his gift shopping was over! It was long and hard, with a famiglia as big as his, but the famous Smoking Bomber got through it all, even if he was cutting it a little close to the deadline! Confident in his memory, Gokudera checks his mental list (more than twice, in fact) to be sure everyone is accounted for. He is proud of himself for this, which isn’t something he can say about everything he does.

“Tsuna’s got a new watch, tie, and cologne set… Baseball idiot has a gift card to that stupid milk-based snack store and knife sharpening stones… Even Turf-Top has tickets to a boxing tournament… Lambo… that kid’s got candy… Who else…?” Gokudera murmurs to himself as he trods home, weary and eager to put down the multitude of bags that have been digging pale, red indents into his skin for the past few hours, cutting off circulation and making his already sour attitude almost unbearable. Gokudera hoists the paper straps higher up his forearms and regrips the about dozen in his hands with a new intensity: just a few more minutes and he would be home. Home with you– a hot chocolate in his hands, some soft holiday music playing in the background, and a blanket wrapped around him and the most lovely little minx he’s ever seen in his life: you! By now, the pile of presents under the Holiday tree (named so, by all of the Vongola to respect every member’s religion and beliefs!) must be taller than the tree itself!

Gokudera has hardly had a second to take for himself in the past few weeks, consumed by business and his duties as Tsuna’s right hand man, not to mention organizing the Vongola Holiday Hullabaloo (named by popular vote in order to be truly inclusive, and also, perhaps to be just the slightest bit silly. Gokudera can’t say it with a serious face. The Vongola family uses every possible chance to make him say it.) single handedly. Maybe the single handedly part was Gokudera’s own fault, as he stubbornly refused help from anyone… But besides that, and the gift buying, Gokudera sighs with the relief that comes from finally finishing all his tasks. Now that he has a second to himself, Gokudera can’t help but wonder what may lie under the Holiday tree for him… Maybe you got him some new jewelry, or perhaps a piece of technology from Giovanni that would allow him to modify his boxes with even more firepower! Or maybe a coupon for a couple’s massage excursion– no, a full on spa day together? With that thought, Gokudera takes a deep, slow breath.

Calm down, boy, he thinks to himself, Don’t get excited over what you don’t know.

In truth, Gokudera has been rather stressed lately. He misses the time he had, before this chaotic season, that he spent with you.

In his thoughts, everything seems perfect. Gokudera’s fantasizing about hurrying home and collapsing in your arms is a bit dramatic– what else can be expected of him?– but there’s something bothering him… Something at the back of his mind that just gnaws and gnaws until suddenly, but building ever so slowly, there are big holes of anxiety in his brain like swiss cheese. What the hell is missing?

“Shit,” Gokudera mumbles. He finally moves away from impeding pedestrian traffic and finds a small bench where he can rest his feet for a bit, but more importantly, riffle through his purchases. He feels like something’s missing. It’s a feeling he absolutely hates.

“Tsuna, Yamamoto, Ryohei, Lambo, Mukuro and Chrome, Hibari, Kyoko, Haru, Big Sis, some smaller stuff for the Varia… A box of chocolates for Tsuna’s Maman… Reborn…”

The more Gokudera digs through dozens of paper bags, the harder a feeling of emptiness sets in. His brow furrows as he counts every gift once more, grinding the butt of his nearly smoked out cigarette between his teeth.

What the hell is missing?

Feeling the frustration build, he pulls out his pack and lights another cigarette, rubbing out the used one on the bench. Gokudera fumbles around in his winter coat for a lighter he knows is in there and bites the fresh cigarette between his teeth. After coming up empty, he drops the rest of the bags the were weighing on his wrists to search his other pocket– he knows he has his lighter in there somewhere!

Gokudera’s fingers find it in the downy inner pocket of the overcoat, next to a small, but very important box that he’s kept in there for a few months, blunt nails bumping against smooth plastic that he’s so familiar with. The muscles around his mouth tug in what you, his darling beloved would call a slight smile; strangers that hurriedly pass him might call it different. The hunched man seated on a bench in the snow, surrounded by too many bags for a single man to carry, glaring pure heat indiscriminately at everything that moves would be more inclined to call that a grimace, or less politely, a full out snarl. However, the relief and joy Gokudera feels just grabbing the lighter make him feel like he’s walking on Cloud Nine.

He pulls it out, strikes the mechanism, and takes a long huff of that little stick of poison. The lighter is pink and covered with worn (or the term Gokudera prefers, “well loved”) stickers of kitties and hearts and cream puffs. You gave it to him on your one-year anniversary, before you realized how much of a problem his smoking habit was and how dangerous the consequences of smoking were. By your second shared anniversary, you totally denounced smoking and your previous gift, instead urging him to wean himself off and maybe start using nicotine patches, or get on prescriptions to help him off smoking.

Gokudera smiles at your concern, and with your help he’s been able to significantly reduce how much he smokes. But old habits die hard and he needs some instant relief right now. Taking another puff and feeling the nicotine swim in his lungs, filling him with a familiar sense of ease, he can’t help but feel little wiggling worm of guilt for smoking not just one, but two cigarettes in a single day. It’s been stressful, he tries to placate himself. Gokudera wonders how you’ll take the strong smell of ash on his mouth when you kiss him to welcome him home.

You kissing him is one of his favorite activities to do with you– among many others– and he wonders if you’ll abstain from that lovely affection again like you did when he last smoked this much in a day…

He doesn’t want to miss out on a single moment of your love.

Of a single moment of you.

Gokudera shakes off the build of ash that collects on the red tip of the cigarette. A little bead of recognition is rolling up into his brain, slowly, so very slowly… He takes another long puff and goes cross eyed watching that little scarlet circle rush towards the filter…

You.

“SHIT!” Gokudera vaults off the park bench, startling several passersbys and some mothers cover their children’s ears. Caring nothing for the delicate sensibilities of the general public, Gokudera scoops up all his purchases and runs back into the fray of holiday shopping in a panic.

A million gift ideas have come and gone through his head through the entire month of December, and for that whole month he’s pondered and entertained the idea of gifts, then rejected it with thoughts of “No, that’s too cheesy” or “Can’t get them that, that’s way overdone,” only to eventually forget that he failed to get you anything at all.

Gokudera feels overly warm in his winter coat– suddenly, he remembers you were the one to buy it for him and why was it that you seemed to buy him all his favorite things?– and all around him it seems shops are closing their doors and turning over their cursive “We’re Open!” signs.

He runs up to a glassware store with tea sets in the display window– you like tea cups and those cute little spoons, right?– just as a teenaged employee turns off the display lights. He meets eyes with the teen and there must be a wild desperation in his eyes because she reaches for the lock on the door to let him in, but a yell from behind the young worker causes her to jump and turn away from Gokudera.

His heart is pumping loud enough he can hear it in his ears and feel the pulse high in his throat as he silently begs that something just fell over in the store. No managers here, no siree.

To his greatest dismay, the girl turns back to him, with the deepest pity in her eyes, and her hand falls away from the lock. Green eyes are reflected back to Gokudera in the glass door and he sees just how pale and panicked he looks. Through that, the girl in the closed store frowns and shakes her head slowly– no, and I’m sorry.

Breath shakily falls out of Gokudera’s lungs and a hot burn touches his lip and he spits the cigarette he forgot he was smoking to the ground. With a groan, he touches his lip to find it tender, most likely slightly burnt. But he has no time for that. He stomps out the cigarette, in case it didn’t fizzle out in the snow, and turns heel to run around the shopping plaza against, in the desperate hope that some store, any store, is open for him to get you a gift that isn’t absolutely terrible.

He sees a lingerie store across the plaza with its lights still on. Should he… Does he dare?... No time to find out, Gokudera thinks, as he shuffles as fast as he can to the store, the bags around him making the loudest and most embarrassing sound he’s ever heard in his life.

It’s the sound of the dumbest boyfriend in the whole fucking world.

He’s fifty feet away when he considers what sort of boyfriend he is to buy you lingerie for a holiday. On one hand, it’s a sweet, sexy gift that you can wear whenever you want, and he knows you enjoy that. On the other, isn’t it selfish of him to buy you lingerie? After all, you’ll probably be wearing it for him, and in most cases, for hardly ten minutes at a time. Wouldn’t this be more of a gift for him?

He’s thirty five feet away when he considers that, hey, maybe if you don’t like it, he wouldn’t be the worst boyfriend in the world. You would have something as a gift and he could always get you an apology bouquet of roses (“Sorry, I Fucked Up” written in sad, loopy cursive) and a box of bourbon chocolates. Maybe a stuffed animal to boot. Maybe it’s a nice, sexy way of saying how much he loves you, and how much he loves you in the more… physical sense, too.

No, Hayato shakes his head, that’s so stupid.

He’s twenty feet away when he wonders if they have anything in his size. You get dressed up to impress him all the time– why shouldn’t he as well? When you wear anything with lace and silk he feels all hot under the collar… Why can’t he do the same for you? He’s not entirely sure how you would react to him in a lacy bralet and some thigh highs, but if past experience has told him anything, it is more than likely you would pounce on him before he could say anything witty as a hello.

Not even “Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?” Gokudera thinks to himself in a delirious, out of body way. Nope. Not even that.

“Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

No go, buddy,

“Hello, gorgeous?”

Sure, why not say it with a rose between your teeth, too?

He’s ten feet away when he thinks that, yes, purchasing lingerie for himself would be a nice present for you– maybe he could get a nice red velvet number with a white fur trim to match yours. The emotional bonding of two people, simply lounging around and being in love in lingerie must be rather significant. That skin-to-skin contact, the intimate traces of silk, lace, latex, or even leather?.. That must truly send a shock up the spine, right? It does for him, when you sit on his lap in teasing, almost see-through netting, in that fiery red color of his flame. And with the both of you in lingerie, what sort of gaudy opulence is that!

He’s five feet away when, all on board with his plan, in his mind the most significant barrier to his plan is the size restrictions all stores have. He’s not sure if men’s lingerie even exists, but that’s no matter to him. Gokudera is fully worried on whether or not he can fit the women’s sizes that this store provides. The holiday season must have wiped most of the sophisticated styles from the racks. He can deal with looking a little racy, but will he be able to fit the sizes? Gokudera doesn’t think he has enough time to get his bra sized, or if they even have his band size in stock. If they don’t have any bras that fit him, he supposes he’ll have to settle for a teddy or some sort of sexy contraption that fits around his chest loosely. For the bottoms… Well, he’s seen the underwear you have for special occasions and what’s on display in this shop, and frankly? The goal of the underwear doesn’t seem to be to conceal, so Gokudera thinks he will be fine in whatever he chooses. And he knows you have some lovely garters and stockings he can fit; from previous experiences, both of some sexy, but also of some simply curious endeavors.

He knows he has some high heels that he can wear as well– these are from a mission he had to cooperate with the Varia– Lussuria, in particular– that ended in satisfaction but the details of the mission are things he would rather not remember or talk about. In the end, though, he learned that Lussuria is not as unbearable as he originally thought, that Lussuria might actually be a pretty good friend, and that Gokudera looks damn good as a woman.

Gokudera is standing right in front of the store, face almost pressed to the glass, when he realizes that it is closed and the lights are simply a festive, though confusing, decoration choice. Shit.

The walk back to that sad little park bench is slow and each step fills him with a pitting sense of dread that makes his feet feel they’re chained. Yellow light flickers above him and casts Gokudera’s shadow long and mourning, as the lamp post seems to feed off of his dilemma. Gokudera’s palms press into his too warm eyes and he is completely at a loss for what to do next.

A sudden buzz in his pants pocket scares him out of his misery before he realizes it’s a phone call. After he realizes it’s a phone call, he’s even more scared. He’s sliding the cell out of his pocket when a million thoughts rush through his mind. What if it’s you? Would he lie? No, sweetheart, I have everything under control, don’t worry about a thing. I’m just the absolute worst boyfriend in the world– nothing you didn’t already know. Love you, be home soon.

It’s Tsuna. Gokudera moans in relief and answers.

“Hey, Gokudera, how’s the Hullabaloo coming along?”

“BOSS!” Gokudera shouts into the receiver. A small noise of pain meets him from the other side.

“Y-Yeah?”

“I’m…” hesitation pulls at the right hand man’s voice, “in a bit of a situation.”

Tsuna finally gets the full story out of Gokudera nearly ten minutes later, with many pauses for apologizes and his best friend agonizing about how he forgot the love of his life’s present. Silence falls over the phone when Gokudera takes a deep breath after his explanation.

“Well,” Tsuna’s voice is light and tinny over the call, “you do actually have a present.”

“What?” Gokudera’s brow furrows and his fingers twitch in the craving for another cigarette.

His boss laughs, not condescending, but in a way that gives Gokudera the sense that he’s missing something. And that is a feeling that Gokudera hates very much. Gokudera pulls out the cigarette carton: damn the consequences, he’ll have as many as he wants tonight.

“Hayato,” Tsuna says, “you have a ring.”

At that, all the blood drains from Gokudera’s face leaving him as pale as the snow that surrounds him. Now he really needs a cigarette.

Gokudera swallows and clears his throat after a pause that was longer than it needed to be. “S-So?” he says, and shakily lights what’s clenched too tight between his teeth. It lights but Gokudera doesn’t seem to feel any warmth from it.

“So? So, Hayato, you’ve been sitting on this for months. No, it’s closer to a year now, isn’t it?”

“Well, I– it’s more complicated than that– y-you see–”

“Hayato, you’ve been giving me excuses for months.” A tired sigh comes over the receiver and a quiet moment passes where Gokudera’s eyes lift. Now all the stores are closed and empty. A light, thin snowfall hides footprints just barely and lights in apartment buildings start to disappear. It’s late. He hopes that you’re sleeping, but he hopes even more that you waited for him so he wouldn’t miss holding you close in bed on such a special evening.

“I think it’s time.” Tsuna isn’t pressuring. Tsuna is concerned.

Gokudera takes a big suck from the cigarette and watches the heat from his breath and the nicotine tinged smoke rise white against the dark, velvet lined sky. His voice comes out weak. “I’m not ready.”

“Are you? Are you really?”

Gokudera closes his eyes and buries his head in his hands, fingers pulling at his soft silver hair, the hair you love to run your hands through and wash and brush for him.

“I don’t think I can do it.”

Tsuna snorts, “Of course you can!”

“I’m afraid.”

At that, Tsuna quiets. No one speaks. The man he trusts so implicitly and so completely, the man he found most capable in the world, the man who was his first friend– how could he doubt himself so? How can Tsuna help his best friend when he can’t help himself?

But he can.

They aren’t fourteen anymore. They’re grown. Tsuna has matured into a fine mafia boss, fitting for the Vongola. Fitting for his family. Tsuna is a man now.

“Hayato,” he begins, “it’s okay to be afraid. This is a big commitment. You’ve been thinking about this for years, saving up to buy a ring. Turning it over in your hands at night, right? When you think they’re sleeping and you’re just torn apart by it?” Gokudera laughs softly in reply. His boss– his best friend knows him so well.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Tsuna continues, tone growing rough over the phone. “But don’t you ever fucking say that you’re not ready.”

Gokudera almost swallows his cigarette in shock, choking on the smoke. He can count the times Tsuna has said “fuck” on his fingers. Maybe he would have to use his toes too, but Tsuna hasn’t really sworn much since they were handed their high school diplomas and threw fringed caps in the air.

“Do you think you would have bought a ring if you weren’t ready? That you would have come to ask my blessing, which you’ve always had, if you weren’t ready? Hayato, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t see love in you. It’s in the way you talk, I can see it in the way you hold yourself. Your eyes, Hayato, I see that love there. It’s not just my intuition, it’s a fact. Don’t you ever doubt yourself about that.”

Gokudera, floored, immediately apologizes, assuming his position as right hand man and subordinate. “I-I’m so sorry, Boss, I didn’t mean–”

“For the love of god, Hayato, shut up!” Tsuna yells, “Don’t disrespect me like this! Don’t disrespect the family like this! Don’t you know how much we believe in you? In your future? How any of us would do anything to help you get a shot at happiness?

“So don’t you dare disrespect us like this. You’re ready, Hayato. Don’t you dare disrespect yourself like this, and don’t you fucking dare disrespect your partner like this.”

The line goes quiet except for Tsuna’s panting and Gokudera doesn’t know what to say.

He’s seen this love for family in Tsuna before, experienced it back in middle school when he almost blew himself to bits to win against the Varia, but it never fails to wipe him out with the depth and sincerity of Tsuna’s love. It’s a love that, to a stranger, could be easily mistaken for rage. But Gokudera is no stranger and he can’t stop the hot tears from spilling over his green eyes, palm pressed firm against his teeth so he Tsuna can’t hear him cry.

“T-Tsuna…” Gokudera manages to croak out, with not much else to say.

“Hayato,” his childhood best friend says in a much quieter voice, “Please stop holding yourself back. You deserve happiness. You’ve protected this family for so long, and we will always protect you… But you deserve to give yourself the chance to start your own family, grow your own happiness. It’s a risk, but please take that chance.”

Tsuna can hear Gokudera sniff on the other side of the line. He smiles.

“Yeah… O-Of course, Tsuna,” Gokudera swallows. “I think I’m ready.”

You’re worried. The clock reads well past midnight and Hayato isn’t home yet.

He left the house in the early afternoon, when the cool winter light hit him so softly and beautifully that you couldn’t help but kiss him goodbye so many times that he had to drag you on the couch and kiss you just as much in return. He promised to try to be home early so that you could bundle up together in front of the fire and plug in the tree lights, pull out hidden presents and put them under the tree. Hayato laughed and said that he wanted to watch holiday movies on the television with you, and yes, even the really awful ones because it was something he said he might actually enjoy if he experienced it with you. He laughs in this soft way around you, a laugh he doesn’t have with anyone else. It’s tender and he has this strange little smile that’s even softer when he looks at you. It could be love. It scared you at first, but you’re certain now, and it’s not so scary when it’s so gentle. You hope it’s love. You love him back.

You’re very worried.

For an hour or three, you passed out in front of the TV in the living room wearing his pajamas that are way too long for you. The spirit of the season made you sentimental, what can you say? But those few hours disoriented you and the sun had long since set. Through the glass windows above the kitchen sink, you can see the snow had started falling again. It had picked up.

Hot chocolate sits on the kitchen counter in lovely holiday mugs that you received as a present one year but the drink has been cool for the better part of an hour now. You don’t feel thirsty with the way things are now.

The small window pane in the front door shakes shrilly in its frame when the wind picks up and you jump. It’s even colder out now. You’re just barely tethering yourself from running headfirst into a panic attack but Hayato hasn’t picked up his phone calls and the last few went straight to voicemail. The house feels bigger without him, lonelier, but so much more claustrophobic as well. It’s the juxtaposition of the fearful, you know, but you can’t quiet those worries of him being stuck somewhere without help, freezing to death in the cold– you should have made him wear those gloves and wrapped that extra cashmere scarf around him as you kissed him goodbye for the second try. What if something bad happened to him? What if the worst happened to him?

You’re nearly burning a hole in the carpet with your pacing, and just as you’re about to call up Tsuna and wake him at an ungodly hour, technically the day of the Vongola Holiday Hullabaloo (you pushed very hard for that name), the front door rattles with the struggle of keys not turning the locks, you all but break down the door.

Gokudera, despite his quiet attempts to enter the house without waking you, curses and can’t seem to get his keys to cooperate and open the damn door. He’s freezing out here, he grumbles to no one in particular. He does say something rather nasty and biting about Jack Frost, though. Maybe the door is so hard to open because his hands are all but pieces of a cadaver with how frozen they are from the elements and refusing his damn gloves you tried to get him to wear earlier, and the combination of the heaviness and multitude of his many shopping bags.

Gokudera gets the shit scared out of him when the door knob flies out of his hand and he’s face to face with the love of his life, who is absolutely pissed the fuck off.

“Hayato!” You hiss, and drag him inside.

He’s startled by your abruptness but you’re wrapped in your favorite blanket from your shared bed and he notices, giddily, you’re wearing his pajamas and they’re just so big on you and you’re just so goddamned cute and–

“I swear! I almost called the cops, Hayato! But I couldn’t, because my man is the bane of their existence, so you know what I was doing? Just worrying my damn head off! If my hair turns gray and all falls out, I’m holding you personally accountable! What were you doing out so late? It’s freezing!” You rant and chastise and shake your head, but you help him put his bags down and take off his coat, putting it over the couch. You take his hands in yours and gasp.

“Jesus, Hayato!” You bring his hands to your mouth and blow hot air on them, rubbing and trying to warm them, “You feel like ice!”

“Tell me about it,” he groans, and leans his full body weight on to you, tipping the both of you over. Luckily, he made sure the couch would be there to catch you.

“Hayato, I’m serious! I was so worried!..” Your voice takes on a wounded edge as you trail away, burying your face into his chest, speckled with stubborn, melting snowflakes. The man above you looks down to see your hair wild from running your hands through it and that makes him uncomfortably guilty. Another feeling he hates, especially when it concerns you.

“Hey, I’m, uh,” he sits up and brings your face up to his. “I’m sorry.”

You don’t say anything but turn your face into his palm and sigh. He smells like ash.

“I lost track of time and Tsuna called me about–” he stops talking. When you look up at him he has a lost, helpless look on him. His hand on your face twitches against your cheek but it doesn’t leave. Hayato clears his throat.

“He, uh, called me about the party tomorrow. Then my phone died, sorry.”

“Hullabaloo,” you remind him, ghost of a smile creeping up your face.

He groans and the atmosphere is suddenly light, and the rest of the room returns in technicolor, high definition, 1080p. The crackle and lovely warm smell of the fireplace greets him and the television plays some god awful Hallmark movie softly. Gokudera finally feels the burn of the cold he’s been out in all night and he bunkers down further on the couch with his arms wrapped around you, pulling you half in his lap and you squeak a bit but don’t protest.

“Whatever,” he grumbles and buries his face in your neck. He missed you.

You squirm in his lap– his nose is cold!– and say, voice full of mischief, “It’s called a Hullabaloo,” and when greeted with another complaint from Gokudera you say more insistently, “What is it called, Hayato, love of my life?”

His hair tickles your neck as he shakes his head and says, in the resigned way only a man that’s hopelessly in love and fighting a losing battle can say–

“Ugh. Fine. It’s a damned Hullabaloo…”

He feels you roll over in his grasp so you straddle his hips and your face is looking up at him, gentle and kind.

“Thank you.”

“You’re not welcome.”

Within a commercial break, Hayato is settled in and donning a new set of sleepwear, snug and warm on the couch, and you have hot chocolate and sugar cookies in spades. He’s got an arm around you and you are all but tangled in him. You can hear his heartbeat in his chest, faster than normal, and it’s concerning but the debacle you were faced for the past few hours has exhausted you and the low, dancing lights from the Christmas tree lull you to a happy sleep. The both of you know you won’t be awake in a few moments.

“Hayato?”

“Yeah, babe?”

He feels your breath warm against his exposed collar and it’s almost as nerve wracking as it is a comfort. He’s all too aware of that little box in his coat, just behind the two of you to his right, slung over the couch. It’s the heaviest little box in the world, he’s sure.

“I was really worried. I thought something happened to you…”

“I know,” Hayato whispers and places a kiss on your temple, petting your hair. “And I’m so sorry. Really.”

“I know,” you reply back in a quiet voice.

You add on, as sleep has made you embarrassingly and so emotionally raw, “All I really want is you, Hayato… ”

The couple on the television kiss and orchestral Christmas music swells: the credits roll to the sound of a remixed, pop version of holiday classics. It’s really a pain to witness. Hayato can tell you’re trying your hardest not to drift away when you ask a question that freezes him up.

“Are you really okay?” you ask, pressing your ear to his chest, mumbling, “Your heart’s beating so fast…”

Gokudera coughs a little, then belatedly hopes that you can’t smell the ash on his breath. He knows you noticed he’s smoked, and smoked a lot, but you haven’t said anything about it. He’s grateful you’ve given him that small mercy.

“Yeah, just, uh,” he sighs, running his hands through your hair, “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Another Hallmark movie begins and the snow outside drifts to the ground, calm and steady. You’ll wake up to a beautiful, snowy Christmas morning, then go to the Vongola-Varia Holiday Hullabaloo (damn you for making him think it…), and be surrounded by friends and family. A truly memorable night indeed.

Your body leans heavily on Hayato and when he’s sure that he’s sure you’re asleep, he carefully reaches behind him, fumbles with his coat, and nearly drops the ring box on your head when he takes it out.

You’re damn right I’m not okay, I’m scared as fuck, he thinks, opening the box and running the flat of his thumb over the smooth parts of the silver ring. He didn’t want to get you anything too gaudy, but it’s still rather dramatic and pretty (just like me, he thinks in a detached humor). He knows you’ll like it. He hopes you’ll love it.

Pressing another kiss to your head, Gokudera takes a deep, steadying breath. Of course you’ll love it, he reminds himself– if Tsuna can see it, it has to be true. He knows, deep down, that you’ve been waiting for this for a long time. You’ve been ready for a long time. He’s finally ready, too. He thinks of a plan, as responsible as he is, but he knows it’ll all go to shit the moment he opens his mouth.

In the morning, you’ll wake up to soft winter light, and Hayato on one knee in front of you in pajamas; you’ll laugh at first, disoriented and sure you’re in a dream. Then he’ll make a little speech, fingers itching for a cigarette and instead occupying one hand on your thigh and one in his pocket, running over the edges of that little box over and over.

You’ll start to get teary, some stupid holiday movie that you love to hate will play in the background, and the lights from the tree will make Hayato look so beautiful, so devastatingly handsome with his heart bared wide open for you like that.

Eventually, you’ll shout yes, and Hayato will cry before you do, and he’s not afraid to admit it. Though Yamamoto will tease him about it, Ryohei will cry too and tell him he’s the most manly guy on the face of the earth. The whole Hullabaloo will be full of congratulations and love, friends and family– and presents.

And Lambo, that son of a bitch, will say, after all that fuss over the ring and marriage, “Wait, the ring is great, but where's the present you got them?"

And Gokudera will knock his lights out– or try his best to.

And you’ll forgive him and kiss him under the mistletoe to calm him down because really, all you want is him.

And the best present he ever could have gotten is you.

Gokudera takes another deep breath, and squeezes the box one more time in his hands before he hides it away safely in his pocket. He kisses your hair one more time before resting his chin on your crown and closing his eyes. Gokudera Hayato falls asleep with a slow burning determination to be the most loving and supportive husband he could possibly be for you. He smiles as he drifts away, dreaming of weddings and honeymoons.

[thecomicsnexus]

UNCANNY X-MEN #143-144 MARCH - APRIL 1981 BY CHRIS CLAREMONT, JOHN BYRNE, BRENT ANDERSON, TERRY AUSTIN, JOE RUBINSTEIN AND GLYNIS WEIN

SYNOPSIS (FROM MARVEL DATABASE)

Flashback - The X-Men's first battle with the N'Garai, specifically Storm's destruction of the obelisk which was the nexus of the gateway between their world and ours. The X-Men believed that, with the obelisk gone, the gate was sealed, but a lone demon slowly crawled from amidst the rubble, free in our world.

In the present day a couple out looking for their first Christmas tree. Quickly their happiness became ashes - the N'Garai demon killed them swiftly and then feasted upon them, body and soul.

Meanwhile at the X-Mansion Kitty was learning how the Blackbird ran, backwards and forwards, when, to her relief, Angel interrupted to let Xavier know that it was time to be going. In the entrance-way, Logan introduced Mariko Yashida to Professor X. A mistletoe prank of Kurt's with Mariko drew Wolverine's ire, but things were soon set aright, although the mood was tense. Kitty lightened it by playing a similar trick on Colossus, who blushed deeply. Then most of the X-Men departed: Wolverine and Mariko, Angel off to see Candy Southern, and Professor X, Peter, Ororo, and Kurt off in the Rolls. Kitty Pryde was left in the mansion alone.

Kitty, feeling lonely, tried calling her parents with no luck. Scott called to wish everyone a merry Christmas. Finding only Kitty in the mansion, he promised to call tomorrow. He then found Lee Forrester to see about taking a job as a sailor. He is a little surprised to find that Lee is a woman when he was expecting the ship captain to be a man.

Still at loose ends, Kitty decided to work out, using a Danger Room exercise program. However, her work-out was interrupted by the intruder alarm activating in Ororo's room. Not wanting to disturb the police over what may be something as simple as a fallen branch, Kitty decided to investigate only to discover the N'Garai demon.

Kitty lead it on a merry chase through the mansion, phasing through walls with it fast on its heels. Losing it briefly at one point, she tried to make it to a phone to call the other X-Men. The demon was waiting for her, however, and while she phased in time, she still felt the claw as it scythed through her incorporeal form.

She escaped to the Danger Room, air-walking up to the control booth to use the room against her. The demon was taking its time to show, however, and she was starting to wonder just how smart it was when it entered the control booth instead of the room below. Kitty backpedaled into the Danger Room and it pursued her through the 'unbreakable' glass. The Danger Room came alive, and Kitty managed to barely keep just ahead of it and not get nailed by the room. Of course, the demon just tore through everything the room had to offer, but it delayed it long enough that Kitty got a good head-start, out of the Danger Room and to the rail-car to the hangar. Halfway to the hangar the demon ruptured the rail, forcing Kitty to travel the rest of the distance on foot.

Weary from exertion, Kitty got into the blackbird, its turbine engines pointed down the tunnel, the only realistic path for the demon to follow into the hangar. She started going through the ignition checklist. At the last second she ignited the engines, crisping the demon but wrecking the blackbird. She exited the plane, air-walking, confident nothing could have survived, when a burned claw arced towards her.

The X-Men returned home to a darkened house, having encountered police earlier warning them of gruesome murders that had occurred in the area. Wary, and with Professor X's telepathy somehow foiled, they entered cautiously. Kitty was curled up watching TV with a fire, and was overjoyed that the X-Men had returned. Kitty's parents were also with them.

It turned out that last swipe was the creature's dying attempt to kill Kitty. It made the supreme effort and it failed.

Jock Forrester, broken by the news that he was being killed by cancer, returned to the swamp he grew up in. Unbeknownst to him, he was watched by two entities: the empathic Man-Thing and a sinister presence. That presence pushed Jock over the edge, causing him to take his own life, and then it revealed itself as D'Spayre. Man-Thing attacked him, but D'Spayre was victorious, and then took the form of Jock Forrester.

Not too far away, Scott Summers was adapting to life as a fisherman. After a successful fishing trip the crew headed to a pub, where Scott caught up on his letters. Meanwhile at the X-Mansion reconstruction is preceding apace. Wolverine and Nightcrawler were playfully ribbing Kitty for the amount of damage she caused, but unintentionally ended up hurting her feelings. Back at the pub, Scott's shipmates got him up to play some pool, and while everyone was distracted by the football game he used his optic beams instead of the pool cue to sink every ball on the table. Lee got a call from her 'father' asking her to come visit, and she asked Scott if he minded keeping her company. Scott agreed.

They entered the house, only to discover that "Jock" was actually D'Spayre, and Lee's father killed himself that morning. Then reality went wild.

Scott found himself as a child on the plane with his parents, being pushed out with Alex in the only parachute. Then he found himself in Larry Trask's sentinel base with his brother, only the original X-Men were dead. Suddenly, sentinels that looked like the new X-Men battered through the walls, and though Cyclops managed to destroy them all, Alex was slain. But the sentinels rise again, but then Scott found himself with Jean on a mesa. They kissed, and then suddenly Scott was wearing a tux over his costume and walking down the isle with Jean, whose clothes switched from one incarnation to the next. They reached the altar, and were pronounced man and wife, and then Jean asked Scott to remove his visor, telling him nothing would happen - but this time he blasted her. Coming back to reality, but laden with despair, Scott ran from D'Spayre and tumbled headlong through a window, falling to the ground below. He lied there for a long time.

Coming to his senses, he discovered Man-Thing approaching him. Almost blasting the creature, he realized he wasn't under attack, as the Man-Thing traveled past him towards the door. Scott followed, to find Lee in the grip of D'Spayre. Man-Thing attacked the demon, but D'Spayre caused him to fear, which caused the Man-Thing to set himself on fire. After proving Cyclops' optic beams to be useless, D'Spayre disappeared, but Cyclops recalled him by thinking of Jean, and then grabbed hold of him. Cyclops had beaten his fear, and his resolve bolstered the Man-Thing, who grabbed hold of D'Spayre and the two were locked in a death-grip as Scott grabbed Lee and fled from the now-burning house. Then they left.

In the morning, the house was ashes and the resurrected Man-Thing searched for signs of D'Spayre, but found none.

REVIEW

The first story is so similar to Alien (the movie), that John Byrne feared a lawsuit.

We wanted to do an homage to the movie Alien, and I don't know whether I was demented or what in those days, but I honestly thought when I was drawing it that people wouldn't instantly realize where we got it from. I thought I was being really clever , how I was making little twists and turns to change it. Only the ending where she used the Blackbird (jet) to blast the N'Garai to death was the same. And then Chris kind of wrote [the script] even more like the movie. By the time I actually read it, it was like, "Oh, well, wait till the lawsuits come..." But they never did.

This doesn’t really take away the fun of the story. Both of these issues are centered in one character, the second being Cyclops. With Man-Thing, that couldn’t look more like Swamp Thing. I know, I know, it’s a terrible coincidence that both characters are so much alike. But still shocking.

The Cyclops story, however, wasn’t as exciting as the Kitty Pryde one. And that one was the last Byrne story.

Dialogues are complicated in this book. They get so majestic sometimes, and other times they tend to overdo it.

I give the stories a score of 7

[bbparker]

🎄 Choose Me (Tony Stark x Reader)🎄

[Christmas Special]

Summary: What happens when (y/n)’s husband Tony is called away at Christmas, ruining her surprise for him?

A/N: Lol idk about this one but have fun!

Requested by: @kwj-jojo

Prompt: “A mission? On Christmas? I think the fuck not, the bad guys deserve a good Christmas after all their hard work of fucking shit up…” “(y/n), no…”

Warnings: Mentions of blood, accidents, angst

Words: 2.6k

Song: Pretty Bird by Crooked Still

|| Masterlist ||

The morning sun rose and shone through the blinds, casting a glow onto Tony’s handsome face. (Y/n)’s breath hitched, still in shock that this man was hers. 6 months ago, they’d had gotten married on an impulse. There was no dress and big crowds, just Tony & (y/n) in a small church with Rhodey as their witness and this was their first Christmas together as man and wife.

Sitting up on one elbow (y/n) brushed a stray hair away from his forehead and watched as his lashes fluttered open, exposing brown eyes. “Good morning sweetheart.” Leaning down (y/n) caressed his lips with hers. “Good morning Tony.”

The moment only lasted a couple of seconds before both realised what day it is. “If I didn’t enjoy receiving free stuff so much I would have probably stayed in bed longer.” (y/n) laughs adjusting her dress in the mirror as Tony showers behind her.

“I knew you didn’t only marry me for my looks,” Tony muttered sarcastically. Turning around, ignoring Tony’s nudity, after all, it wasn’t anything she hadn’t seen before, “You know I love you for more than your pretty looks and money?”

Tony’s smile slowly widened as (y/n) leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. “You should probably see somebody about those over confidence issues, Tony.”

“You love it don’t lie!”

Entering the kitchen (y/n) graced everyone with her smile, eager for the festivities, however, seeing the looks of disappointment around the room, (y/n)’s smile dropped. “What’s wrong?”

Nobody seemed to want to answer until Tony stepped into the room. “Man, who’s soul died and is now haunting the room? Cheer up!” Steve made his way over to Tony and whispered something about seeing him alone to which he agreed. Tony turned to you and gave you a kiss on the temple before following Steve’s tall self to a room with clear glass.

(Y/n) watched as Steve’s shoulders remained tensed and slowly as he began explaining the situation, Tony’s did too. Looking around (y/n) saw almost everyone is a dampened mood, the only one willing to make eye contact with her was Vision, who didn’t seem overly concerned.

Turning back towards the two leaders, (y/n) watched as Tony nodded and sighed, both exiting the room. “Everything alright?” she asked, grabbing a hold of Tony’s hand. “(y/n), don’t get mad but, there’s a mission we have to handle immediately.”

“A mission? On Christmas?” (y/n) looked around at her team members, only Clint managed eye contact with her, giving her a sad smile. Of course, he understood more than anyone about being away from their family and the only one who knew her little secret that Tony hadn’t even found out yet. Though she wasn’t one of Avengers, she was like a mother to them all who cleaned injuries, cooked and fed them etc. Disappointing (y/n) was like disappointing their own mother.

Turning to Tony once again, who had his hands in his pockets but didn’t drop his gaze from hers, “I think the fuck not! The bad guys deserve a good Christmas after all their hard work of fucking shit up!”

Tony laughed before a scold from Steve made him rein it in, covering it with a cough. “(y/n), no… We can’t ignore this…”

“I-I know but sometimes it-it’s just not fair. You’re my husband we barely have any time together as it is… I just want you to choose me for once…”

(y/n) walked towards the elevator, pressing the button. The Avengers seemed to be trying to look anywhere but the couple but it was like watching mom and dad fight, or a car accident- you couldn’t look away.

“(y/n) I choose you, always but this is people’s lives on the line.”

Turning from the arriving lift, (y/n) backed into the elevator.

“Funny that Tony, you’re so busy with everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on your own,” and the doors finally close allowing (y/n) a breath of relief, hand falling to her stomach as her eyes watered. Her surprise for him was now ruined and she blamed Iron Man, the Avenger, the saviour to so many but himself.

Pulling out her phone, (y/n) dialled her mom’s number. “(y/n), honey! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas mom! I’m coming to yours for lunch it seems!”

Tony’s POV

As the elevator doors closed, Tony released a sigh before turning to see his team staring. “I think you upset mom,” Sam attempted to joke, however, it wasn’t well received as multiple people whacked him across the head or let out exclamations of ‘Sam!’.

“I’m sorry Tony, but we have to go.”

Tony just looked at the ground, shuffling his feet, before holding his head up. “Yeah, Avengers suit up!”

As Tony made his way to the lab where is numerous suits are stored, he can’t help but wonder if he really was making the right decision. The world over their life together, plus what she said back there really struck him. Her voice echoing through his head as he stood before his newest suit.

“Funny that Tony, you’re so busy with everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on your own.”

What did she mean by that? He’d been there almost all the time, so what did she mean missing out?

“Tony… you okay?” Steve enters the room, placing a light hand on Tony’s shoulder, something he was quick to shrug off. “Yeah, perfectly fine.”

Tony was not fine, as the mission continued he couldn’t get (y/n)’s face out of his head as she glanced down at the floor, elevator doors closing; like their relationship. Finally, it distracted him to the point where a shot from a HYDRA weapon managed hit his arc reactor.  “TONY!” multiple voices chimed, however, as Tony fell from the sky at alarming speeds he couldn’t hear anyone.

As he fell (y/n)’s face came to his mind, if this was going to be it for Tony he wanted to only think about one thing. (Y/n) and the life he could have has with her, hell they’d only been married 6 months! They never got a honeymoon because Tony had been too busy with the Avengers, they hadn’t been able to celebrate either of their birthdays either. Suddenly, Tony felt a sinking feeling that wasn’t from the rapid ground approaching. It was the fact that (y/n) was right.

Something solid greeted Tony as he welcomed darkness, a quiet plea in the form of (y/n)’s name falling from his lips.

“Hey Ma”

“Sweetheart! It’s good to see you, where’s that husband of yours?”

“He’s on a mission…”  Her mum gave her a look of disapproval like (y/n) had anticipated. Her mother had never approved too well of the playboy and she only ever recognised the bad things he does.

“I told-”

“Ma, not now, it’s Christmas…”

Nodding her head, (y/n)’s mom walked ahead into the kitchen where their family was waiting.

When time passed and lunch was eaten (y/n) couldn’t help but shiver as if something was wrong. “You okay (y/n)? It’s not that cold in here is it? I thought I turned the heaters on…” Her dad said running a hand up her now gooseflesh arms. “Yeah dad, I just got this really weird feeling…”

The room went strangely silent as her family looked at her, a phone suddenly interrupting the silence. Despite the once cheery atmosphere, the phone now echoed in a haunting silence. (y/n) picked her phone up to see it was Steve’s private number which he barely ever used. Something was wrong.

“I-I… I have to take this…”

Walking quickly outback, (y/n) shivered again because of the cold. She couldn’t see anything, not the snow nor the concerned family members peeking out the window, too concentrated on his voice.

“Steve?” (y/n) asked softly.

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry- it shouldn’t have happened but none of us could… could get there on time- “

“What are you saying, Steve?”

“(Y/n) … the mission went wrong- “

She stopped listening. When a member of the team said, a mission went wrong, which rarely happened, someone usually ends up gravely injured or… even passed. She cried into the phone, “Steve, where is he?”

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry…”

“STOP SAYING YOU’RE FUCKING SORRY! Tell me where my husband is!” She screamed into the phone, tears falling freely now.

“H-he’s at the compound, Helen Cho and several doctors are trying to- “

(y/n) hung up on him and ran back inside, grabbing her keys to her car and running to her car. Her family called her but she didn’t listen. Putting the car into gear (y/n) went twice the speed limit, no thought to her condition only focussed on getting back to her love.

The last words she yelled at him echoed through her mind.

“I just want you to choose me for once…”

“Funny that Tony, you’re so busy with everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on your own.”

How could she say such things to him? She knew he loved her, she knew he’s always put her first but what about the other families suffering out there? How could she be so selfish? Seeing the orange light up ahead (y/n) pressed further onto the gas watching as she went past the line only to feel a huge presence beside her. Looking (y/n) got a glimpse of headlights her first thought running to her precious bundle to arrive in five months’ time.

“No...” she whispered as a loud honk filled her ears and all she saw was white.

Stepping on the gas further (y/n) felt the jolt before the truck just nicked the boot of her car. Breathing out rapidly in shock, (y/n) pushed on taking the straight road to the Avengers facility up north.

Arriving, (y/n) turned the car off and ran inside, pushing through the crowd of workers, even knocking people over and to be met with shouts. She, however, had no care. Her husband was severely hurt of dying, she’d be damned if anyone gets in her way. Arriving at the elevator (y/n) almost broke the button pushing it in and the same process occurred inside the elevator; some people even slightly backing away from the slightly crazed looking woman.

When (y/n) arrived at the door, she nearly broke the door down because they opened so slowly but once there had been a space big enough for her to squeeze through she was gone. Running down the multiple halls, (y/n) stopped at end of the hall to the wing specifically reserved for the Avengers.

Stopping (y/n) saw the team gathered in the seats, still in their uniforms and some even bleeding but refusing attention. Nat tilted her head back but stopped halfway as she spotted a dishevelled woman at the end of the hall, mud coating her shoes and the bottom of her jeans.

“(y/n) …” Nat whispered but everyone’s head snapped up to her like she had screamed. Walking forwards slowly, (y/n) felt no more tears as she approached His door, refusing to acknowledge the team.  Clint walked slowly forward and as he tried to rest a hand on her shoulder, (y/n) turned and slapped it away, glaring.

“Don’t touch me, anyone.” Making eye contact with every team member and hearing the calls of multiple people, (y/n) turned to see a window into Tony’s operating room. “Oh, no...” She covered her mouth as sobs racked through her body seeing his blood on the doctor’s hands.

“This… someone tell me this isn’t real, this isn’t happening…”

(Y/n) felt a presence behind her, strong arms wrapping around her waist and bringing her to their chest. At first, she fought, pushing them away but when their hold was unrelenting, (y/n) let go. Sobbing, Steve caught her as she fell, pulling her into him once again.

Burying her head in his chest, she sobbed for Tony, for anybody to tell her this isn’t real. Looking up into Steve’s eyes, she saw tears in his eyes. “S-Steve?”

“Y-yeah?”

“He-he c-can’t die…”

“(Y/n) he won’t, the doctors are- “

“No Steve, he can’t…” A fierce fire had lit within (y/n)’s eyes and in seeing this Steve frowned. She was trying to tell him something that she just wasn’t getting. Slowly, (y/n) took his hand and bought it to her stomach as his eyes widened feeling the bump that wasn’t so obvious in her flowy shirt.

“Oh, my god.” Steve gathered his arms around her and brought her to his chest once again, slightly lifting her up. “He’ll make it (y/n) … he will.”

Make it he did. (y/n) sat next to Tony’s bed with her hand holding one of his casted ones. It had been a week since the accident and every day (y/n) hoped for him to wake up, yet every day his chocolate eyes remained closed.

A soft knock came from the door making (y/n) jump and turn to find Steve waiting with two coffees in his hands. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

As Steve entered, she returned to her position. Setting the drink in front of her, Steve chose the seat behind (y/n) and there they sat for the next four hours. (Y/n) couldn’t bring herself to leave this spot beside her husband. What a betrayal on their vowels they’d made not too long ago. (Y/n) had promised to stay by his side no matter what and when things got a little rough she fled, like a weakling.

Kissing his hand lightly (y/n) closed her eyes. She didn’t deserve Tony, he was willing to risk his life for other people, other expectant mothers like herself and she’d been so selfish to have him to herself. Little she’d realised Tony was an international person who couldn’t belong to one, there was too much to him for one alone.

She couldn’t blame anyone. Not Steve, the Avengers, Iron Man… this was her fault. Was she distracted because of what she’d said to him? It was almost guaranteed to go wrong is someone’s headspace was in the wrong place.  

Hearing a small gasp and quiet talking; (y/n) cursed Steve. “Steve, I love you but please shut up. I am trying to concentrate on not having an emotional breakdown; don’t know if you know but it takes more brain power than I originally thought. Damn, now I’m the one talking too much…”

Silence followed before a light chuckle followed, definitely not belonging to Steve causing (y/n) to look at the smiling face in front of her. “You know, you should probably see somebody about your emotional state…”

(Y/n) couldn’t help it she burst into laughter before happy tears started falling, “You love it, don’t lie.”

So, his smile grew as he observed her face. Beautiful, he thought. “I’m so sorry Tony. I overreacted. I know you would choose me in a heartbeat but I was acting too selfish to see it.”

Tony’s gaze softened as he watched her eyes tear up further, drifting slowly towards the Super Soldier exiting the room before returning to his beautiful wife once again.

“What happened, Tony?”

“Someone got a lucky shot,” Tony said, not wanting to feel her guilt she undoubtedly felt because he’d been distracted by their fight. (Y/n) shook her head before catching a glance of something and smiling back at Tony.

“Also, I wanted to give you some news, I was supposed to tell you on Christmas day but since you’ve been on the mission and… sleeping for a week, I haven’t been able to tell you- “

“Wait, a week?”

“Yes…?”

“I’ve gone to sleep and woken up in the future? Amazing.” (y/n) smacked him lightly laughing along with him before realising he was injured. “Oh, my gosh Tony are you okay? I just hit you and- “

“I’m fine (y/n), now what’s the news. Has my great aunt passed away and left me a great fortune?”

“Tony, you don’t have a great aunt.”

“Has my boyfriend come for me?”

“I can go and get Steve if you’d- “

“What about my sister, not my dear Julianna,”

“JESUS TONY I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU IM PREGNANT!” (y/n) yelled finally.

A silence ran through the room as Tony stared wide-eyed at (y/n). “What did you say?”

“I said… I’m pregnant.”

“Is it mine, wait don’t answer that.” Smacking him again they laughed before Tony’s eyes focussed in on (y/n). The way she laughed, head tilted back sometimes a snort would slip past her.

“But really, how far along are you?” Tony asked smiling happily at his wife. “Nearly five months now.” Tony’s shocked laugh came through as he looked at the roof, eyes glassed over. “Well, how about that…”

“Tony…”

“Yes, sweetheart…” Tony’s eyes seemed to have softened incredibly, yet he also appeared to have aged a couple years due to the stress of a mission and their argument.

“I found out the gender a couple days ago…It’s a boy.” Another shocked laugh left his lips as a joyful face greeted (y/n). “You’re incredible, (y/n).”

“I think you mean we are…”

“I love you, more than anything (y/n) and I also have news for you but you’ll have to lean closer.” Smirking, (y/n) leant closer, “yes?”

“We’re going on that dang Honeymoon as soon as I’m out of here.” A loud laugh escaped (y/n)’s mouth, “whatever you say, Honey.”

Tags:

@kamala-khaan @beautifullybarnes @bxchananbxcky @daffodilparker @dorkychris @shamptain-shmerica @spideyydarling @bucksies @pctemaximoff @numsreads  @true-queen-of-mischief @mistlethor @ugh-supersoldiers @hellomissmabel

@eliza-hamilton-helpless @purelittleblueberry @iamwarrenspeace

@fuck-my-marvel @jahanana @feelmyroarrrr @asexualmarauder @theharrisontomytom @shippingfangurl @ironmanlover24 @come-with-me-and-imagine @alwayshave-faith @savmontreal @somebody-stuff  @sev7en @whatthehellisacastiel 

[joonbird]

Snow Angel 🎄

pairing: namjoon x reader (ft. ot7)

genre: fluff

wordcount: 1.5k

a/n: merry christmas! ♡

“We’re cornered. There’s no way out.” 

Your head snaps up, your mouth falling open in surprise. Your boyfriend is staring at you, his lips pressed in a solemn line.

“Namjoon, there must be something-”

“There isn’t time.” 

Namjoon shakes his head slowly. He exhales, straightening his shoulders. “We knew it would come to this.”

“Namjoon, no.” You protest emphatically, the words that are pulled out of your lips evaporate into a puff of frost. It is an uncharacteristically cold day for December. A thick duvet of crisp white snow hugs the earth, as snowflakes fall in drowsy succession around you. 

Namjoon reaches down and gives your hand a squeeze. You glance down at your clasped palms. He is wearing his new mittens, they are black, with crimson red crabs lopsidedly stitched into the wool.

(You had given them to him last night. Namjoon had immediately whipped off his WTAPS gloves and thrown them onto the floor in a melodramatic display of Christmas Gift Appreciation. He had then jumped up and down in excitement, small bounces that his lean body weren’t fully in control of. The domino effect went as follows: Namjoon knocked his shin on your bedside table, the lamp fell off, and it broke. Needless to say, melodramatics were not Kim Namjoon’s forte.)

“I’ll go. It’s the only way. I’ll distract him.” Namjoon declares suddenly, it is a sweeping statement, and you gasp.

“No! Namjoon, wait - !” 

But it is too late. Namjoon drops your hand and turns his head to give you one last gaze. “Get out of here while you still can, Y/N. I love you.” 

And then he runs around the corner out into the open.

Slackjawed, you hear it: the sound of Namjoon yelling, and an all too distinctive evil giggle.

Your instincts kick in, and you spring up from where you are crouched, racing out to the open, to where Namjoon is.

Jeon Jungkook is standing there, a fuzzy bucket hat on his head, a sling draped around his neck. The sling is stuffed to the brim with snowballs, and you watch with widened eyes as Jungkook reaches in and grabs a snowball. 

He hurls it at your boyfriend with a speed and ferocity that is both awe inspiring and terrifying. His arms are a blur, and you watch as Namjoon yelps out in protest, his body being pelted with snowball after snowball. Jungkook is laughing the entire time and showing no signs of slowing down.

“Got you!” Jungkook crows. He is distracted, and you look down. 

Your fingers are curled around a snowball. A perfectly shaped snowball. It is the one you had been working on right before Namjoon had sacrificed himself. 

You aim at Jungkook and throw with all your might.

The snowball arcs cleanly through the air, and it feels as if time stands still. You watch, your breath catching in your throat. Jungkook turns, spotting you, and he flings a snowball in your direction. 

You watch, your muscles tight with tension as your snowball continues to fly in the air… before it plops to the ground, no more than two metres away from you.

(Okay, in hindsight that may have been an overly optimistic shot to take.)

You hear Namjoon laugh, just as Jungkook’s snowball splatters over your chest. 

“Two in one!” Jungkook screams, and you turn your focus on him, your eyes narrowing into a glare.

“You take snowball fights way too seriously Jeon Jungkook.” 

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”

You point at the sling wrapped around his neck, recognizing the scrawled doodles on the white fabric. Love hearts with legs, a Taehyung signature.

“… Is that Tae’s sling?”

Jungkook lifts his nose in the air and folds his arms defiantly.

“I can’t reveal intel to the enemy.”

You narrow your eyes. “Like I said. You take the snowball fight way too seriously.”

(In fact, the snowball fight was the reason why Taehyung even had a sling in the first place. He and Jungkook had been testing out a snowball fight strategy wherein Taehyung would climb a tree and attack with snowballs from the branches. It had been a self labelled ‘flawless plan for victory’... until Taehyung had fallen out of aforementioned tree during a test run and sprained his wrist.)

Jungkook opens his mouth to retort, but a piercing scream pierces through the air. The scream is unmistakably Hoseok’s, and Jungkook’s ears practically prick up and he turns, sprinting away, snowball sling bobbing up and down.

You let out a huff of defeat and flop down onto the snow. Your hair fans out underneath you as you stare up at the sky. Despite the icy chill lingering in the air, the sun beats down on your face, the sky blue and streaked with clouds.

You hear footsteps crunching in the snow and your eyes flutter closed.

For the majority of your adult life, you hadn’t been one to make a huge deal out of Christmas. In the past, Christmas had always been a non-event - something to vaguely anticipate, but never something to actively celebrate. That was until you had met Kim Namjoon five years ago. 

You had fallen into Namjoon, into a clumsy and quick kind of love that felt like every cliche bundled up into one - butterflies, songs on the radio reminding you of him, you lying awake with your phone pressed to your chest and a giddy smile painted on your cheeks. 

Dating Namjoon meant holidays under blankets, agonizing over getting your boyfriend the perfect present, kisses absently pressed on the top of your head in between cups of chamomile tea. 

Dating Namjoon also meant being adopted into his circle of friends, and Namjoon had casually warned you five Christmases ago that they were ‘kind of Christmas enthusiasts.’

You had soon learned that ’Kind of’ meant ‘Extreme’. Each of your friends has a Christmas Thing. Hoseok texts you inaccurate Christmas carol lyrics at varying intervals throughout the day, (this morning you had gotten ‘get your boo a partridge in a pear tree. keep that love 100’ and a series of love heart emojis) Seokjin buys everyone matching Christmas sweaters, (the goal being that the more obscure the sweater the better. This year he scrounged up ‘Santa and his Reindeer as outdated vines’ jumpers) Jimin and Yoongi hold a festive movie marathon (during which Yoongi always complains about how the Santa Clause movie has too many loopholes, and Jimin recites half of Home Alone by heart). And last but not least, Jungkook and Taehyung have their annual snowball fight (which you really do need to put a stop to because the sight of Jungkook the Cackling Snowball Machine is one you never want to see again.)

You open your eyes to see Namjoon smiling down at you.

“We lost,” He says simply. “Again.” 

You huff out in frustration and fold your arms.

“Yeah, but that’s because our friends are so-” You begin.

“Intense.” Namjoon finishes.

“And way too competitive.” 

“And weirdly accurate at throwing snowballs. Jungkook hit my er, personal ornaments three times and I swear it was on purpose.”

A giggle escapes your lips and Namjoon joins in, his mitten clapping over his mouth as if to catch his laugh.

“They’re alright,” You begrudgingly admit, trying to keep up your grumpy facade, but you are smiling. Namjoon reads in between your lines as he always does. I love them, even with all their weird Christmas traditions.

“They’re alright.” He agrees, and this time you read in between his lines. I love them, they’re family.

Namjoon’s eyes soften as he gazes at you, his face is all dimples and creased eyes and the tiniest hint of a smile fighting on his lips- an utterly Namjoon facial expression that is only brought about as a result of you. 

He reaches out and affectionately cups your face with a mittened hand. The wool is cold and scratchy on your skin, but you keen into his palm as he leans closer to you.

His beanie is askew on his head, snowflakes dusting the shoulders on his obnoxious Christmas sweater. He brings his other hand to your cheek and his face eases into a smile- one that fills your belly with a golden kind of warmth, one of those signature Namjoon smiles that makes you feel shy and captivated and fuzzy and prickly, all at once. 

“My snow angel.” He murmurs, his deep voice is clear and confident, and you blush, even through the frost clinging to your cheeks.

“You’re so lame.” You roll your eyes at him. Namjoon’s smile widens, your hands wind around the back of his neck as you pull him in closer to you.

His lips brush over yours, a light touch that is silvery and like a whisper, before he leans in closer and deepens the kiss. 

His lips taste like cinnamon, his lips soft and full and you can’t help but swoon into him, at the sensation of his tongue dancing against yours, his hands cupping your face and the sound of him sighing into your mouth. 

He pulls away, pressing a kiss onto your cheek and onto your forehead, and you feel delightfully tipsy with each stamp of his lips to your skin.

“We’ll win next year.” Namjoon says decisively. You scrunch your nose.

(Not a chance: Namjoon has a strange tendency of making cube shaped snowballs that fall apart mid air. You also cannot throw a snowball to save your life, see earlier attempt at taking out Snowball Fight competitor Jeon Jungkook for evidence.)

“Definitely. If not next year, then in five. We can train in secret or something and catch Jungkook and Tae offguard.” You say lightly.

“I don’t even know if five years of training is enough. Jungkook had so many snowballs before. I don’t even know when he had time to make that many...” Namjoon has a perplexed look on his face.

“Fifty years then.” You propose. Namjoon beams at that and nods in agreement.

“Merry Christmas my love.” He kisses the tip of your nose.

“Merry Christmas Namjoon.”

[bearxclaws-archive-blog]

Arc Headcanons // PRE-SKIP PT.2

Flings more random thoughts and headcanons onto the dash! Heading into Water 7~ And again, there may will be hints of Sanji x Anita ‘cause I’m still as trashy as last time. Long af. Congrats if you get through any of it.

WATER 7 / ENIES LOBBY

— Arc Outfit

— Anita immediately takes to how odd Chimney is, showing off her incredibly soft side for children. Likely pays no attention to what Kokoro and the rest of the crew are saying because she’s too busy showing off for Chimney and Gonbe.

— Back on the ship           Anita: ................. Wait where are we going?           Nami: You listen about as well as Luffy does.           Anita: Thank you.

— She hasn’t been with Merry for very long, but she is the first ship Anita’s any time on. There is an attachment there despite only being with the crew for a few months. Almost wishes Gus ( the half-giant back home ) was with them. He wasn’t a great carpenter, but he was pretty damn good considering he had to fix most of the broken equipment on his own.

— Anita leaves the ship at the same time as Robin and Chopper but doesn’t go with them. As much as she liked spending time with them all, she kind of wants to find where she can get those cool masks she finds some of the people wearing. Ends up buying one that looks like a bear. Adds it to her keepsake box later.

— Runs into Sanji while wearing it, attempts to amuse him but sees he’s a little perturbed. Since she isn’t super close to Robin, she doesn’t share his unease once they find Chopper alone. She assumed Robin’s just off doing her own thing. At this point, she only sees Robin as an aloof mother figure. She’s, at least, a smidgen better than her own mother. Doesn’t dislike her, but doesn’t feel particularly close to her.

— She messes around with Usopp enough that she too is worried about what his reaction might be to hearing Merry is beyond repair. She’s heard plenty of his stories about home and Kaya and continues to ask to hear about them, so a small part of her feels worry settle in her stomach.

— Doesn’t help to find him, however. She stays on the ship with Nami to protect the remainder of their money.

— The argument between Luffy and Usopp does rattle her quite a bit because she thought she was the only one that felt useless. She would have never guessed that Usopp did too. Recalling how determined Luffy had been to get his friends back on Anita’s home island, it’s worrying for her to see him getting physical with a member of his crew. She hasn’t witnesses any sort of discord between them before now, save for maybe Sanji and Zoro but even then she’s quickly realized that they just behave that way. Seeing their cook actually kick Luffy doesn’t make it better, and — in a rare display of fear — she’ll shrink into a corner and watch.

— After her ringleader died and someone she thought was a friend betrayed them, the thought of abandonment terrifies her. Watching Usopp leave hurts. She’s one of the ones begging him to come back.

— It’s a habit of hers to shut down when she’s upset. She does and says nothing. Just sits on deck with her legs between Merry’s railing and looking out in the direction Usopp walked off in. She doesn’t know why this is having such an effect on her. People have come and gone from the circus more than a handful of times, and it’s never had her this upset. Doesn’t realize she’s becoming extremely attached to the crew.

— Losing Merry and Usopp is the first time she cries in years, if it can be counted as crying. There’s no sobbing or rolling tears, but she’s distressed to the point that she’s got a heavy knot in her throat and her eyes are wet.

— Even though she seems to be reluctant to do much, Sanji asks her if she’ll come along with him and Chopper after Zoro refuses. She doesn’t really want to, but he makes a valid argument that a reindeer and bear nose together are better than his.

— Anita isn’t the type to be subtle, so she intends to march right up to Usopp and tell him about Aqua Laguna because they seems like the smartest isea, but Sanji and Chopper insist they have to be sneaky about it. Shouting ‘off-handedly’ about it while being near Merry is totally sneaky.  .  .

— Anita’s still numb from witnessing Usopp’s resignation from the crew and, somehow, isn’t surprised to find out that Robin plans on leaving too. She doesn’t shout and attempt to get to her like Chopper and Usopp too, but her ears are back and she’s shaking while in her bear form.

— When Sanji tells her and Chopper to find Luffy, Chopper’s the first to go. Anita hesitates and presses her gigantic bear head against his chest. Lets out little huffs and makes him promise he’ll be alright. Losing three crew mates is hard enough, and she openly worries for the first time that he’ll end up lost too if he goes off on his own. All she needs it a few scratches behind the ear and an honest promise, and she’ll go.

— Zoro using the back of his blades is like Anita swatting at people with the back of her paws. Still hurts like hell despite their intentions.

— Compared to other zoan users, Anita feels inferior because he hasn’t made an attempt at her hybrid form. She has her human form and her full-beast form, and that’s it. She’s capable of it, but lacks the confidence and knowledge. So knowing Chopper can take on multiple forms and seeing how strong Lucci is as a zoan is a huge blow to her confidence.

— Iceburg’s manor being on fire causes panic in Anita and it’s harder for her to escape. It might take Chopper headbutting some sense into her before she ends up outside.

— Despite not being close to Robin, Anita is relieved that she didn’t leave them because she dislike them.

— She doesn’t go to save either Luffy or Zoro knowing Nami and Chopper have it handled, but laughs plenty knowing they were stuck. 

— Anita is already aware of Impel Down. Whether or not he had the actual authority to, Ashikaga often threatened to send people to Impel Down for obstruction of justice if they tried to help targeted pirates or stop the Marines from capturing them.

— Nami makes sure to get extra meat so Anita has something to eat alongside Luffy’s portion and Zoro’s sake. Gets her plenty of fruit too. Anita’s kind of surprised Nami remembered that she liked fruit so much.

— Second Outfit ( after they change on train ) Anita’s stubbornness with clothes is different in this verse than it is her main one because Nami is there to help her lighten up a bit and wear slightly more colorful / feminine things without making her feel overly girlie. Still has a tomboy look. Doesn’t think she looks cute, but she does.

— Anita is lowkey relieved to hear Sanji is alright. Shh. His scent from when she nudged her head against him still lingers and it’s giving her dokis. GDI.

— Dumb as she can be, she knows Sogeking is Usopp. Might ask for an autograph too just to be a smart-ass. If she gets one, it’s going right into her keepsake box.

— All I can see after Rocket Man crashes and Sanji and Zoro beat some of the Marines is Anita literally chewing on one of the Marines they defeated like they’re a toy.

— She hates Enies Lobby. Too many Marines, too involved with the Government. Her bias is showing and she sort of hates that Zoro, Luffy and Sanji are so strong. She wants to fight some of them herself purely because she’s loathes them.

— The situations are completely different, but there is one common theme between Anita and Robin; Marines ruined their home. If she ever finds any of this out, she’ll feel significantly closer to Robin and at least attempt not to avoid her. I mean, over time she’ll start to feel closer to her anyway, but knowing that would be like a short-cut to feeling more comfortable around her.

— The first time Anita sees fire destroy something in a beneficial way is when Luffy tells Usopp to burn the government flag. Still terrifies her, but she’s seen what she fears do something good.

— Everyone fighting to get Robin back learned something new with their combat abilities during this arc. I’m not entirely sure what Anita’s thing should be. All she does is fight in her bear mode, unless ( like Nami’s Clima-tact ) Usopp helped craft her those dial-gauntlets that she wears in her full-beast form. This might be her first chance to use them if she gets into more of a fight. Probably hurts like hell to use them, but they won’t hurt as much to a bear as they would a human. Helps knock people further / do a little more damage while being a tank.

I don’t want her to have a hybrid form because Chopper is already a hybrid for the most part. And most people don’t seem to use their full-beast form often. Not that I can remember, anyway. She’ll want to feel like she HAS to be like Lucci, Jabra and Kaku to be powerful like them, but she doesn’t. She’s plenty supportive and powerful in fights as she is. Plus, she gets stronger post-skip.

— Anita’s whole role in the fights with the keys is very minimal. I can’t have her take away any of the learning the Straw Hats do, so she might as well be trying to help Chopper calm down while not knowing just how much of a rampage he’s in. Or, to be grossly shippy, she could stay with Sanji when he’s bubbled up. At least until he was drenched and well enough to fight. She’s as confused by his code as Nami is and doesn’t reprimand her when she whacked him. She thinks it’s silly, but she doesn’t think he’s change who he is.

— If she manages to catch glimpses of Sanji’s new fighting style, a part of her will be slightly afraid of him. She knows for a fact that she would never use it on her because of who he is, but she won’t be able to fight near him. She will worry that her fur might catch fire if he’s too close. Doesn’t mean she’s always avoid him, but getting them to do any sort of combo together might be impossible if he intends to use Diable Jambe.

— Once Kokoro saves them all from drowning, Anita is absolutely going to collapse with Chopper and give him bear snuggles. Anyone that ever gets hurt gets a bear blanket / pillow. Robin gets a bear hug too. She’s gotta. Anita’s too much of a softie deep down to not be happy that she’s alright.

— Too much of a softie to not to get choked up during Merry’s funeral.

— Anita will be infinitely glad that they took all of their stuff off of Merry and that the people that took their stuff returned it to them. Her keepsake box is safe! 

— She won’t be the least bit happy to learn that her captain’s grandfather is a Marine, but even she can’t be suspicious because it’s blindly obvious Luffy doesn’t want to be like him.

— She may have a devil fruit and can’t swim because of it, but she will take an inner tube and use it in the pool. You cannot stop her!! Swimsuit 

— Anita get a bounty. She can’t be mistaken for a pet as easily as Chopper can, so she has a legitimate bounty. I’m just not sure how much it should be. She couldn’t do any real, significant fighting during Enies Lobby, so it might be less than Nami’s? She’ll have the second lowest bounty, Chopper’s being abysmal. But, at the same time, she’d be as ‘out there’ as the monster trio because tank. So would she be noticed more and seen as a threat? I honestly don’t know what the government would think of her. Aaah, I don’t know! I’m torn between it being either B 14,000,000 or B 17,000,000. Might need opinions on that.

— Her poster is probably of her bear form looking like it’s swiping at the camera. Probably actually hit the guy taking the picture too. Whoops. Did she have to pay for breaking it? Absolutely. Did she actually pay? Hell no. Nami would kill her for spending MORE money after the part drained them.

— Sanji, she secretly loves you, but she’s going to laugh at your poster. I think she’s always going to laugh at other peoples misfortune, but she doesn’t mean anything by it. He’ll get a little pat and she might let slip that she thinks he looks way better than the poster. Oops. What? Shh. No, she didn’t say that.

— She has no part in the mess with Franky’s briefs. No, thank you. Covers her eyes too because she’s shy about that sort of thing. Not a prude. Just inexperienced and unfamiliar. Plus, it’s Franky. She doesn’t wanna see his junk.

— Anita is one of the ones begging Luffy to let Usopp come back. She doesn’t quite see it the same way as Zoro does. People would leave and come back to the circus, and they’d welcome them back with open arms. It feels wrong to leave Usopp behind.

— She has no idea what to name the new ship but agrees with any of the names Luffy comes up with that has ‘bear’ in it. She’s biased. Likes Thousand Sunny, though.

— I should probably point out that Anita can drink as well as Nami and Zoro can. She’s an affectionate and silly drunk once she gets beyond being buzzed. Likes to lean on people and hug on them. 

[taaroko]

Post-IW MCU Rewatch: Iron Man 2

Time for Iron Man 2.

Opening with the villain watching the press release from the end of the first movie on the news is an awesome way to link up with this one. I really wish we knew more about Howard Stark and Anton Vanko, though I do love that he showed up in Agent Carter. I mean, did Howard name Tony after him?

I love Ivan Vanko. He’s just as smart and resourceful as Tony, but he grew up with nothing while the man he might’ve been raised alongside had everything. (Imagine an alternate universe where Howard and Anton never fell out, and Tony and Ivan grew up basically as brothers. How crazy would that have been?)

I remember rolling my eyes very hard at Tony’s entrance with the Ironettes when I watched this in theaters. I was not looking forward to watching a whole movie of him being this egotistical. Interesting foreshadowing with him talking about legacy, though. He knows he’s dying, so while he’s eating, drinking, and being merry, he’s also concerned with getting his affairs in order.

Hehe, keep flirting with Pepper while the annoying Senator is talking to you. Yesss.

Okay, I’m kind of confused as to how Tony was able to act autonomously as Iron Man. As much as I love that he declared his identity to the world, he’s an American citizen, and he can’t just go flying around into military conflicts based on his own judgment. Is he getting away with it because he’s a billionaire? If so, that’s gross. Is it because he’s got all these military and political connections? Was he working with Rhodey when he “stabilized East/West relations”? How did that happen?

I love Tony trolling Senator Stern, I love the dopeyness of Justin Hammer (but I HATE when he calls Tony “Anthony”), and I love Rhodey’s attitude about being asked to give a much briefer book report than he was planning to. Is he the Hermione? I think he’s the Hermione.

Anyway. AUGH. Okay, every time we see the demonstration of Hammer Industries’ suit and it practically twists its pilot in half, I can’t help doing a full-body shudder and screaming a bit. That’s horrid.

What the heck? A black rectangle on a white canvas is considered art? Why?

Hi Nat! Love the hair!

Wait a second, Elon Musk? Holy crap.

“Not everyone runs on batteries, Tony.” Awww.

Ivan’s quite fond of walking away from explosions, isn’t he?

Hammer is such a dweeb. He had...organic Italian ice cream flown in from San Francisco. Dude, you are doing this rich guy thing wrong. I love watching Ivan interact with him.

I really don’t want to know the mechanics of being able to go to the bathroom in the suit if you’re also wearing clothes in there.

What exactly is the appeal of parties like that?

“Give me a phat beat to beat my buddy’s ass to.” *snort*

Bahaha, Rhodey hit him with the kitchen sink.

I love that they come up with their winning combo move during this fight.

Tony in the giant doughnut is great.

“Don’t get so attached to things. Learn to let go.”

Okay, one thing I never fully appreciated was that the arc reactor was Howard’s invention. Tony’s contribution was making it smaller, and successfully synthesizing the power source Howard always had in mind. Working that out makes me like this movie better. Also, Howard’s subterfuge—concealing his plans for the “new element” inside the Expo’s layout—was that because he was suspicious of SHIELD and didn’t want it falling into their hands? That’d be interesting, and it would fit in well with the way the Hydra plants eventually sent Bucky to kill him. 

Hammer has like zero charisma. I wonder if that’s the actor’s personality or if he’s just really good at playing a dweeb who thinks he’s the coolest guy ever (or wants you to think that, at least). I love Rhodey and General Allen staring stone-faced at him through the whole presentation.

I wonder if O’Reilly knew he was being portrayed as a douchebag in his cameo as himself.

Tony you are rambling. You know, I think he was trying to tell her he likes her, now that he’s more confident he’s not dying.

So all this “new element” stuff is pretty absurd science, but I love watching Tony in blacksmith/engineer mode. I wish they would’ve at least given us a number for Tony’s new element. And what did he name it? Tonium?

Ahahaha, I love Coulson’s concern with the weird Cap shield thing.

“Land of enchantment.” “So I’m told.” Heh. See you soon, Thor!

Not sure how the new core would’ve undone the damage from the old one, but okay.

Stop talking, Hammer. Your jokes are terrible.

I love Nat and Pepper taking down Hammer with an armbar and assertiveness, respectively.

Hi baby Peter! (Best retcon ever.)

You know, all these times someone in an Iron Man suit gets hurled very hard into the ground from great heights kinda make it more believable that Rhodey survives his fall in Civil War. Those things clearly have ridiculous shocks.

“Hammeroid Attack”

That blast should’ve sliced Ivan in half.

I love Rhodey crashing the Pepperony moment.

Tony’s small favor is so deliciously petty.

Okay so the theme here clearly has to do with legacies. Tony and Ivan are the legacies of Howard and Anton. Tony is concerned with what he’ll leave behind. I feel like it gets kinda muddled, though. Maybe if Howard had been portrayed as the clear antagonist in the situation between him and Anton, then the inherited conflict would have made Ivan look more sympathetic, and I think I would’ve liked it better if Tony had kept Howard on a pedestal, only to realize he wasn’t what he thought, rather than having him be a cold, distant father who turned out to actually love him (ineptly). Then in the final showdown with Ivan, Tony could’ve tried to bridge the gap and get through to Ivan, only to fail and be forced to take him out. In any case, Tony does realize the potential Howard saw in him and makes his vision for the arc reactor technology a reality.

This one doesn’t have as good of a story as the first, but I still like all the characters, including the newcomers.

[mst3kproject]

Babes in Toyland

This review represents a fairly important milestone for me – back in January I decided to start doing Episodes that Never Were on a schedule, and I've kept it up for a whole year!  I'm hoping I can continue in 2018, since there are a lot of bad movies in the world and it would make me giddy if a few Episodes that Never Were became Episodes that Actually Are.  The closest I've come so far is Reptilicus and its curious accident of timing.

Anyway, it just wouldn't be the holidays on the Satellite of Love without a messed-up acid trip of a Christmas movie.  This is one a lot of people my age remember being traumatized by as children, and is probably the only time you're ever going to see Drew Barrymore, Keanu Reeves, or Pat Morita on this blog.  Reeves frantically driving a pink bumper car with flowers on it is a sight not soon forgotten, I assure you.

Our heroine Lisa is eleven years old and wants a blender for Christmas, although a sled will do as a consolation prize. She and her sister get in a car accident in the middle of a musical number on their way home, and Lisa hits her head and wakes up not in the ER, but in a magical land of balloon trees and furries.  This is populated, Wizard-of-Oz, style by fairy-tale characters played by the same actors as people in her real life.  Lisa arrives just as the beautiful Mary Q. Contrary is about to be forced to marry evil Mr. Barnaby instead of her true love, Jack B. Nimble.  Obviously only Lisa, with help from Georgie Porgie and the Toymaster, can defeat Barnaby and save the day – but first she has to learn to believe in toys!

This is the kind of movie that actually makes you cringe watching it.  I spent most of it wanting to cover my face so I wouldn't have to see the actors embarrassing themselves.  Everybody came across kind of stagey and uncomfortable in their roles as ordinary people in the real world, and it gets ten times worse when they're dressed up as nursery rhymes.  Every single person looks like they're wondering how they got here and trying to remember how much they're getting paid for this.  The dialogue is bland and obvious, and the characters over-emote at the same time as they have no conviction whatsoever.

I'm even embarrassed for the prop and costume people.  Toyland probably isn't supposed to look real – that would defeat the point – but it shouldn't look like plywood.  And then there's the people in the animal costumes with the immobile faces and empty eyes and visible joins between the head and shoulders.  I've seen better costumes at ComiCon and some of those were in diapers.  Are the silent teddy bear cops supposed to be intimidating?  Because they're less scary than the donut cops from Wreck-It Ralph. Barnaby's army of trolls look like a cross between the Blood Beast and the Killer Shrews.

A large portion of the budget seems to have gone into creating or buying the wonderful wooden toys that fill the ToyMaster's workshop. A few of these are actual works of art, designed to turn the heat rising from a candle into whirling motion.  Too bad they're only onscreen for a few seconds before we move on to half-assed stuffed animals and creepy-eyed tin soldiers.  These impressive toys are way too good for Babes in Toyland, as is Pat Morita as the ToyMaster – I suspect he agreed to be in this movie only on condition of being allowed to hide behind that fake beard.  His helpers are supposed to be elves, I think, played by children who are also wearing fake beards.  This is distressing in ways I cannot quite describe.

The jokes are so terrible that I'm not sure some of them are meant to be jokes.  Lisa tells the Toylanders about Cincinnati and pretends its a magical kingdom ruled by King Pete Rose... is that supposed to be funny?  Georgie Porgie complains that he wasn't cut out to be a hero and Jack says, “they could cut three heroes out of you, old buddy!”  Is that a compliment or a fat joke?  I think Barnaby's bowling ball-shaped house, which he rolls down the street to knock people over whenever he has a tantrum, is a joke, but it's kind of a setup without a punchline.  There's a sequence in which Mother Hubbard is introducing her children and she can't remember the last one's name.  That's not funny, that's horrifying!

I can't even bring myself to write about the musical numbers. Anybody who has a hard time with secondhand embarrassment really shouldn't watch this movie.

The plot of Babes in Toyland is a list of tropes, but this is entirely appropriate for the type of story we're being told.  Barnaby is evil for the sake of being evil, Justice Grimm allows himself to be tricked and locked up in his own jail cell, and various characters show up to reference their fairy tales and then wander off again.  It should work because it's exactly what we expect, but instead of feeling natural, there's a sense of obligation about it. “Yes, we're Jack and Jill.  We have to fall down this stupid hill, so we might as well get on with it.”  The characters never appear comfortable with these situations, so the cliches become awkward instead of seeming like the natural order of the story's universe.

(One of the rules is that, as Mary explains to Lisa, it is always daylight in Toyland.  We're never told when anybody sleeps, although we do see a couple of beds.  We also see a sun, meaning that to have eternal daytime Toyland's planet must be tidally locked.  There ought to be howling winds as the warm air on the day side rises and sucks in cold air from the night side, which would be a frozen wilderness of perpetual night.  But only a nerd would worry about something like that.)

Toyland's tropes are based around characters and situations from Lisa's life in Cincinnati – Mary, for example, is her older sister, who is subject to sexual harrassment by her greedy boss, the tyrant of the toy store where she works.  One would therefore expect that the situations Lisa encounters in Toyland would teach her to deal with what's going on in reality, like how Chihiro learns courage and confidence through her experiences at Yubaba's bathhouse.  In Babes in Toyland, however, it's the other way around.  Lisa has already convinced her sister to tell off her boss and leave the toy store, and it's this she applies to Toyland in stopping the wedding of Mary and Barnaby.  Lisa already enjoys fun things, as evidenced by her happiness at the gift of the sled, and already believes in true love, as her first major act in Toyland is intervening in the wedding.  The lessons the plot is set up to teach her are ones she does not need to learn.

The other characters likewise seem to have their arcs done for them.  Mary insists that she will rescue Jack herself, saying “it's time I did something besides cry!”  We have literally never seen Mary crying – in fact, the only time she's come across as a weeping damsel was at the wedding, and there she thought she was doing what was best for her family.  Georgie is supposed to be a coward who wants to be a hero, and yet he keeps doing brave things from the start.  And what's with the subplot in which Lisa matchmakes between Barnaby and Mrs. Hubbard?  Does she want her mom to marry the creepy toy store owner?  Eww.

Besides the wooden toys, there are a couple of other things in the movie that do work.  Barnaby has three main minions – two of them, called Zak and Mak, are basically the porcupine guys from Highlander 2 (not that I've seen Highlander 2 or anything), and the third is a bird named Trolla.  This beast is played by a little person in some kind of unconvincing shaggy pterodactyl costume, but it does have a single large eye that Barnaby uses as a crystal ball to watch what other characters are doing and stay one step ahead of them.  For some reason, the eye is really quite disturbing and its image tends to stay with you – YouTube comments suggest that it's the thing a lot of people remember best about the movie.  The worst part, however, is that when the ToyMaster wants to subdue Trolla he does so by painting over its eye.  Oh god that must sting!

Then there's the Bottle of Evil.  When Barnaby uncorks it, a green mist comes out to envelop the characters.  It's not a great effect and you don't believe in it any more than you believe in anything else in the movie, but it's a scary idea and realized just well enough to make you worry.  Then they defeat it by singing a song about Cincinnati.  No, really, that happens.  It doesn't come across like a great moral victory, it's just a giant what the fuck. How do the other characters even know the song?

The idea of being knocked out and awakening in a magical land or another time is a very common trope in itself, going back at least as far as A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, written in 1889.  I know we're not supposed to worry about it, but when watching or reading such stories I always wonder what's going on in the 'real world'.  One of the things I really liked about Life on Mars was how the storytellers actually devoted time and thought to the fact that Sam is in an ICU hallucinating all this, and things in that outside world can affect the world he's imagining.  We don't get anything like that for Lisa.  At the end she just wakes up on the sofa and everybody's glad she's okay.  Why is nobody calling an ambulance?!  A loss of consciousness of more than a few seconds is a medical emergency!  Call a doctor, for heaven's sake, concussions do not make for a very merry Christmas!

The thing I'm maddest about, though?  Is that Barnaby wasn't defeated by getting crushed by his own bowling ball.  I waited the whole damn movie for that.  How dare it disappoint me!

[shewhowantsmouseears]

The Son Of Scheherazade, 9

Notes: As always, big thanks to my amazing editors Drucilla and BlueShifted!

Welcome to the "breather" arc, a filler meant for hilarity before we dive back into the plot. Donald's reaction to Panchito's and Jose's... enthusiasm is kind of like one of those anime cliches where the girl becomes so embarrassed she runs away with her hands on her face. Embrace popularity, Don.

Another anime cliche I had in mind was with Minnie and Lotus Blossom - you remember those old-school anime where rival girls would fire lightning from their eyes? Poor Mickey.

For those not in the know, Lotus Blossom is a comics-only character. Sometimes friend, sometimes foe, always a pain in the butt.

Summary: With Mickey's confidence at an all-time high, he's about to learn arrogance has its price. He's also about to have his first date... but it's not with Minnie!

Mickey would never call himself a patient person, but he was currently waiting calmly in front of Clarabelle and Horace's room with a smile on his face. Panchito and José were at his side, struggling to be as composed as Mickey was and failing, judging by their incessant tapping of feet and fingers itching on Panchito's guitar. Minnie was napping in her lamp – at least, that's what Mickey assumed she was doing, since he didn't see any other purpose for being in there. He definitely wouldn't have guessed Minnie was rolling around trying to handle all the confusing feelings and questions swirling around in her mind.

“Almost done!” Clarabelle's voice called out from inside. “Why, you won't even recognize Donald when I'm done with him.”

“It's not that big a difference, for crying out loud,” said Horace, who was no doubt earning a smack from his wife. Donald could be heard chuckling quietly, which made Mickey pleased beyond measure.

Ever since Donald had first climbed onboard, he had followed Mickey around like a baby bird imprinting on its mother. Mickey hadn't minded at all, happy to show Donald all around the ship and properly reintroduce him to everyone. Donald had been nervous to express any of his natural feelings, out of fear for his powers, but with every passing day he allowed more and more of his real self to emerge. It had finally culminated in him timidly asking Clarabelle for a favor, which she cheerfully obliged.

“And...there! What do you think, Donald?” Clarabelle asked.

A moment of silence followed, and then the doorknob twisted. Donald opened the door and stepped into the hallway, revealing the “big change” - Clarabelle had snipped away his ponytail, and smoothed down his feathers, giving him a much more humble and natural look. It highlighted all the other changes that had taken place since his arrival – the bags under his eyes were gone, and now his stomach was fuller, since he'd been given proper meals and attention. Mickey mused that Donald now looked more like a handsome prince than he did when he thought he was royalty.

“What do you guys think?” Donald asked, scratching his cheek shyly.

“It doesn't matter what we think,” Mickey replied, a hand to his heart. “What matters is what you think, Donald! This is your life now, after all.”

Donald took a moment to consider this, and nodded. “In that case...I like it! I kinda feel more free. Like a burden's off my shoulders! And I'm going to wear different clothing too! No more tight, frilly, fancy stuff! I'm even going to choose my favorite color and everything. I'm a whole new man!” He proudly put his hands on his hips, ready to strut his stuff, when he realized Panchito and José were staring at him dumbly. “...What's with them?”

Mickey raised an eyebrow. “Probably something very silly. Watch yourself.”

Panchito suddenly slammed his hand downwards, creating a loud chord with his guitar, then pointed up in a dramatic fashion. “José!”

“Panchito!” José called back, holding his umbrella out in the same manner a knight would brandish their sword.

“Long have we searched this world for the very thing that has been missing from our souls!”

“Yes, we who are two, we have been incomplete! But we could not tell what we lack!”

“But you who understand me so deeply, you now know what I know, and so you know now!”

“I know now and now know more than anything else I ever known!”

“Can you put a name to this feeling in my heart, the one that calls out in this moment?”

“Of course I can, for I feel it in the very depths of my soul! Say it, my friend, say it!”

Donald was about to ask what in the world they were going on about, when Panchito latched himself onto Donald's left arm. “This can only be... love! Our third caballero!”

José snatched the right arm. “Love and love only! I implore you, dear Donald, to be with us forever and ever!”

Donald's entire face began to redden, and the sunlight that was pouring through the windows began to intensify to a blazing degree. “Wuh-wuh-WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?!” Oh, this was the feeling called embarrassment.

“I think they like you,” Mickey said mildly, by now used to the bird's bizarre antics.

“We love him!” Panchito agreed, pressing his cheek to Donald's. “Come, we shall drink and be merry and make you a part of our life forevermore!”

“We shall sing songs and dance and introduce you to everything about this world we live in!” José took the other cheek. “We shall be your constant companions, your loyal servants, your wingmen! … See, it's funny, because we're birds.”

Donald, who had never heard a genuine compliment in his whole life, was wholly unprepared for the instant adoration thrust upon him. He covered his face with his hands and ran down the hallway, with the two nutjobs giving chase. “WAUUUUGH!”

“Look at how fast he goes, José, already bragging about his superior speed!”

“Praise be unto Donald, for he is mighty and amazing in all he does!”

Horace finally poked his head out of the doorway. “Oh, that's going to be fun to adjust to.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

Mickey chuckled nervously, unsure if he should help or not. “Well, at least they won't constantly be asking for stories from me anymore.” He had been delaying that every chance he got, knowing he had nothing in his head that could compare to his mother's marvelous imagination. “I just hope Donald's emotions don't crash the ship before we land. How long until we reach Khade Town?”

With the crew having to adjust to another member, especially one with potentially destructive powers, Goofy had deemed it necessary to make a stop at nearby town to get extra supplies. “Should be less than an hour!” the captain himself declared, walking down the hallway, having just barely dodged the parade of birds that were now running up and down the ship. “We should be done in a day or two, maybe even shorter if we don't run into any distractions.”

“Like Mickey picking up another friend,” Clarabelle continued, giving Mickey a small smirk.

Mickey crossed his arms defensively. “It's not my fault we keep running into people who need our help! Besides, Minnie and Donald are going to help us out in my journey to get my parents back. Maybe we could even find another helpful person in the town!”

“Look kid,” Horace walked out of the room. “I'll admit, so far your knack of chronic hero syndrome has worked out for the better... but it's not always gunna be that way. Sometimes we can't save everyone, and sometimes not everyone deserves saving. You gotta be ready for people to take advantage of that big heart of yours.”

“I think I can take care of myself pretty darn well.” Mickey turned his head away. Shoot, he'd already been in some epic battles and used his strength and smarts to get out of them. He could take on any challenge that headed his way! And even better, his victories had nothing to do with him being the Son of Scheherazade. His heart would never steer him wrong! He was the hero of the story, and the hero was always right!

“We shouldn't run into too much trouble,” Goofy interrupted, trying to stop an argument from occurring. “It's a pretty small town... the only notable thing about it is a shrine to some gods from the north. Other than that, it's your average, run-of-the-mill kinda place. So we probably won't find anyone in life-threatening danger or folks with magical powers or villains with evil schemes to take over the world.”

“Boy, wouldn't that be nice,” Horace groaned.

“Don't be such a coward, Horace!” Mickey held his chin up, and began to head back to his room, full of confidence and swagger. “We can take on anything that comes our way! I ain't afraid of anything!” If he had heard this line of dialogue from one of his mother's stories, he would have immediately assumed that the hero of that tale was going to eat his words by the story's end. But now Mickey was drunk on his own spirit, unable to conceive his own failings. He was the hero who rescued the genie, who freed the prince of storms!

What could the world toss at him that he couldn't handle?

~*~

The ship “landed” a few miles outside of the town, anchored in by small rocky mountains. Once again, Pluto stayed behind to guard the ship, and the rest of the crew was split into groups. Panchito and José insisted on showing Donald around, and Donald allowed it if they stopped singing for several seconds. Goofy, Clarabelle, and Horace would be the second group, and Mickey and Minnie would be the last group – although Horace objected to this, insisting Mickey should stay with him, due to his attitude.

“I don't need a babysitter,” Mickey insisted as the groups walked into town, the birds already going in a different, loud direction. “Tell 'em, Minnie, didn't I do great at Donald's kingdom?”

Minnie gave him a curt look. “Is that a wish?” She had quickly settled back into her snide routine, not wanting to entertain the warm, weird thoughts the last adventure had brought her. Okay, so, Mickey was a decent enough fellow, but that just meant his darkness was hiding deeper than most people's did. He was not an exceptional, extraordinary being. Sure, maybe he was the tiniest bit clever, and perhaps the smallest bit generous, but in the end he would be the same as all her other masters. Not that she cared when this happened. Because she didn't. At all. Just like she didn't care how much Mickey was so-called “in love” with her, which he wasn't, he just liked her looks, and not her personality, because genies don't have personalities, they are tools, and so by that logic, Mickey didn't really love her and so Minnie really didn't care SHE ABSOLUTELY DID NOT CARE SO STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.

Mickey rolled his eyes, oblivious to Minnie's inner nonsense. “Thanks, Minnie.” He would have explained further, but his big black ears picked up an odd sound.

It was something the others didn't pick up on, especially Horace. “Kid, I'm just trying to look out for you.” He closed his eyes, drawing upon years of experience. “You've been cooped up in a palace all your life, so you don't know the cruelties of the world! In a year's time, I bet you'll be thanking me for all my help. All you have to do is... he ran off while I was talking, didn't he.”

“Yes, yes he did.” Minnie pointed to the cloud of dust that had once been Mickey.

“Kid's gunna age me twenty years,” Horace groaned.

“Aw, let's just go shopping like we planned!” Goofy insisted. “We gotta buy some lemons so we don't get sky-scurvy.”

As Clarabelle yelled at Goofy for the tenth time that sky-scurvy was not something that existed, Minnie took it upon herself to look for her wayward master. What had distracted him?

The rapid sound of footsteps, that's what – Mickey had weaved himself through an open alleyway, and that's when he caught the origin of the sound. Three burly, tall, masked men were chasing a young woman who was carrying a wrapped bundle in her arms. Startled villagers ducked out of the way, frightened by the display.

“Get back here!” One of the men shouted, full of anger and spit. “There's nowhere you can run!”

Mickey instantly decided he knew what was happening – those three bullies were trying to rob that woman! So much for peace, quiet, and boredom. Looks like it was time for the Son of Scheherazade – no, Mickey the Hero, to write another exciting chapter! He looked around the area, trying to think of a solution – as much as he wanted to leap into the heap of battle, he didn't like the odds of one against three. The entire group was coming up, and if he didn't act fast, they'd all pass him.

What could he do, what could he use? He quickly surveyed the area – a humble food market, full of yummy fruits and vegetables, such as bananas, apples, and oranges – round oranges! Mickey ripped off a satchel of coins from his belt. “Hope this'll pay for everything!” He shouted to the shopkeep who had probably hidden inside by now, and he tossed the satchel inside the building – before taking out his scabbard and hacking away the legs of the fruit stand, causing it to crack and break, sending the oranges spilling into the street.

The timing had been perfect – the woman managed to avoid the spill, but the three men now found themselves tripping and rolling over the mess beneath their feet.

“Hey!”

“Whoa!”

“Dude, I JUST washed my robes this morning!”

While they tried to regain their balance, Mickey dashed ahead to the woman's side, having an idea for one more trick. “Here, this way!” He grabbed her wrist, which is when she finally noticed him, giving him a surprised, puzzled expression. He pulled her into another alleyway, spun her around, dipped her low, and took off one of her pointy yellow sandals, and then chucked the shoe across the street. Once the action was done, he held up a finger for silence, while the woman blinked at him. Mickey would later realize she had been awfully calm all the while.

The trio of attackers managed to finally find their footing, catching up to the alleyway. The leader of the group stopped them, pointing at the shoe. “Look! She must have gone this way!”

“Excellent finding, bro-ski. Don't worry, we'll find her!” said the smallest of the group.

“Only when we find ourselves, can we find another,” said the largest of the group.

They then took off ahead, believing they were right on their victim's tail. Mickey waited until he could no longer see them to let go of the girl – to be frank he wasn't sure how much longer he could have held her, given that she was two heads taller than he was. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, he could get a good look at her.

She was a pretty thing, he supposed, the kind of prettiness that other men would find beautiful but simply not Mickey's type. Her long black hair was tied up in a high ponytail with bright orange flowers, and a pair of golden earrings hung in round circles, rocking back and forth whenever she moved her head. Her deep blue top had yellow lining, exposing her pale arms that apparently could carry heavier things than one would think, given how large the bundle in those arms was. Her blue dress had noticeable slits that revealed shapely long legs. Curious dark eyes studied him, and she finally smiled, curling a lose hair behind her small ear. “You saved my life!”

Mickey placed his sword back in its scabbard. “Aw, it was nothing.” He replied with a puff of his chest. “It's just what us heroes are made to do. Are you all right?”

“I am now, thanks to you.” She held the wrapped bundle close to her chest. “I was trying to get my precious family heirloom home, when those thugs corned me! I thought I was a goner until you arrived! May I know the name of my brave hero!”

“I am Prince Mickey, the Son of Scheherazade!” Mickey only realized what he'd said when it was too late, and he resisted the urge to slap his forehead. “But... uh... just 'Mickey' will do.” Shoot. He was so conditioned to that title it came out as natural as breathing.

The woman's eyes took on an intense glitter. “Prince?” she repeated, before putting the heirloom on the ground and bowing low, hands on the ground. “I am not worthy to be in your presence, your highness.”

“What?!” Mickey jumped, and then raced over to grab her hands. “No, no, stop that! It's not like that at all! You don't have to do anything like that! I just wanted to help you, I don't want any special treatment.”

“Please forgive me, then... I have never been with someone so important.” The woman didn't pull her hands away from Mickey's. “My name is Lotus Blossom. How can I ever repay you for your kindness?”

“I don't need any kind of payment, really!” Mickey now tried pulling his hands away, but my, she had an awfully tight grip on him. “Listen, Lotus, if those guys are still out and about, maybe I should walk you home so they can't get their hands on you.”

“Your generosity truly knows no bounds, Mickey. But now I carry a burden with me, if you can't allow me the simple act of returning a kindness. How will I sleep at night with this guilt? Can't I be allowed one simple thing?” She raised a hand to touch his cheek, leaning in and lightly whimpering.

“Ah... well...” When she put it that way, it did seem harder to deny her. “I... I guess if you really want to, it'd be rude if I said no. Doesn't have to be anything big, though.”

“Oh, thank you, your highness!” Lotus suddenly threw her arms around Mickey, drawing him close to her plump chest. Mickey jerked, but he didn't want to insult her by backing up. His cheeks burned, and he tried to patiently wait out the hug and praise, eyes darting around for a proper place to rest his eyes. Like the sky, or the walls, or Minnie -

… Or Minnie standing in the alleyway staring at Mickey as he was pushed into the bosom of a pretty woman.

“NOTWHATITLOOKSLIKENOTWHATITLOOKSLIKE-” Mickey yelled loudly, his words so smashed together that no one understood what it was he was trying to say, jumping backwards and landing on his butt. Forget Mortimer the Magnificent or Donald's storms, this was as close to death as he ever felt!

Lotus frowned, and then looked in the direction Mickey was flailing at. “...Can we help you?” Her sweet voice now turned sour.

Minnie looked at Lotus, looked Mickey, then back to Lotus. “I was merely searching for my Master, and I have found him. That's all.” An average onlooker wouldn't have noticed the fire in Minnie's eyes or the aura of wrath all around her, but Mickey sure did, and he hoped one of the laws the genies had to follow was to not murder their masters. “Come, Master, we should return to the duties the Captain gave us.”

“Uh,” said Mickey, which for the moment all he was capable of saying.

“Right now?” Lotus put her attention back on Mickey, taking his hand with both of hers. “But I haven't properly thanked you yet! And what about those vicious men who are after me? You said you would help me.”

“Uh,” said Mickey again.

“My Master has his orders to follow, and can't afford to waste any time helping every single person he meets.” Minnie began to walk towards Mickey, and grabbed his other hand. “I'm sure this woman can find her own way home. She is an adult, not a child.”

“Uhhh.”

“Why yes, I am.” Lotus smiled, with a hint of fang to it. “Are you saying you're an adult too? I'm surprised, since you certainly have the body of a child...”

“UHHH.”

Now Minnie was glaring hellfire at Lotus and got it back in turn. “My looks have nothing to do with my Master returning to where he is supposed to be!”

“If he really is your master, then he should be able to make his own decisions, shouldn't he? You sound awfully bossy for a slave.”

“And you sound awfully attached for someone he just met. Why can't you find someone else to take you home?”

“He saved my life, of course I trust him!”

“He saves everyone's life, that's what he does!”

“Why don't you back off, tiny?”

“WHY DON'T YOU BACK OFF?!”

“WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME?!”

Mickey had finally gathered enough bravery and strength to whistle high enough so both women stopped. “Listen... I have no idea what you two are doing, but that's gotta stop.” He cleared his throat, starting over. “Yes, I do have duties to fulfill, but Lotus Blossom was in trouble. I can't ignore people when they need help! And she says she won't be comfortable unless she repays me. So I'll take her home, and then she can repay me, and then I'll return to my duties. Everyone okay with that?”

Minnie “hmph”ed, but then glanced away. “...I suppose it is a matter of honor.”

Lotus clapped. “Wonderful, we're all in agreement! And I know exactly how to repay you, your highness! It will be something you and I both enjoy! And it's the only thing I want to give you, so you can't say no.” Was it Minnie's imagination or did this sound rather planned and rehearsed?

Mickey merely nodded. “Sounds fair. So, what is it?”

Lotus took Mickey's hand again for a big squeeze. “A date!”

“... A date?” Mickey repeated in disbelief.

“A date?” Minnie repeated in equal lack of belief.

“A date!” Lotus finished, now standing up and gathering the heirloom into her arm. “Oh, it'll be so much fun! We'll have a great time together! A hero and the damsel in distress he saved, together... isn't it romantic?” She then paused in her glee, noticing Mickey wasn't celebrating, and she eyed Minnie suspiciously. “Unless you two are...?”

“Oh, no, uh, she's, no.” Mickey fumbled, airily trying to gesture what he himself was barely figuring out. “She's... well... my friend? I mean, we've never... you know...?”

“I must say, that is a relief!” Lotus chirped, giggling. “There are some truly despicable masters out there.”

“NO, NO! I would never do anything like that!” Mickey said realizing what she meant, and then felt he just had to add, “I don't think I would be comfortable even kissing Minnie now.”

Now, Mickey was still trying to work out the tricks and oddities of romance. So he was fairly clueless why Minnie's jaw had dropped and she looked ready to either burst into tears or strangle him. “Comf...Comfortable?” She said shakily, her body twitching, fingers clenching. “You think the idea of kissing me is uncomfortable?”

Mickey blinked, knowing he was digging himself deeper yet unable to understand why he had the shovel. “Well, sure. Wouldn't anyone feel that way?” Lotus Blossom grinned, enjoying the show.

“Youuuu...” Minnie stretched the vowel out, shaking harder with anger. What happened to the dopey, goo-goo-eyed boy who had been drooling over her when she was on stage? Was she that repulsive now that she was a genie? What was so uncomfortable about kissing her?! Had he been uncomfortable when she kissed him on the cheek ages ago? NO SIR, THAT STUPID BOY HAD ENJOYED IT! “You, you, you...” She sucked air in through her teeth, her tail curling up behind her. “Well... I'm SO SORRY that I make you so UNCOMFORTABLE, MASTER!” Mickey had never heard her shout so loudly, and was literally floored, reeling on his back. “DON'T ALLOW ME TO MAKE YOU ANYMORE UNCOMFORTABLE! ENJOY YOUR DATE!”

Minnie then stormed off, her feet stomping so hard one could swear she was leaving footprints that would last a lifetime. Fine! FINE! Let him have his fun! He really just was like all the others! Let that harlot take him so they could cuddle and coo and KISS and have COMFORTABLE kisses! What did she matter? She was only a genie, and genies weren't supposed to entertain any thoughts about their master besides sheer obedience. It was her own fault for feeling this way.

As for Mickey, he still laid there, trying to process everything. “...Wha'happen?” he mumbled, as if he'd been run over by a wild stampede of elephants.

“I'll show you the way home!” Lotus took Mickey by the hand and began to drag him away, not caring if he ever got up to walk. “Then we can plan our date! I simply can't wait!”

Then Mickey thought the one thing no hero in a story should ever think – At least it can't get any worse.

[4colorrebellion]

4cr Plays - Sakura Wars (2020)

I attended high school in the United States at the beginning of this century - what feels like an eternity ago at this point. The early 2000s felt like a great time to be an anime fan, and we were discovering new series to obsess over left and right. In the midst of this, the woman who I would eventually get married to came in one day in a huge, fluffy dress. Seeing her in cosplay was not really all that unusual, but I had no idea who it was that she was dressed as. It turns out that this fluffy dress belonged to a character named “Iris Chateaubriand”, and that this would be my first - and, to this point, one of my few - interactions with the Sakura Wars series. I fell in love immediately with the core premise - a theater troupe fighting demons with steam-powered mecha in early 20th-century Tokyo. 

Although I enjoyed the anime, I kind of forgot about Sakura Wars over time. Vaguely, I remembered that the TV show was based on a series of games, but none of those games made it to the US. To this date, the only game in the series to get localized was the fifth entry, which was released with little fanfare on the PS2 and Wii. I ended up missing out on it. 

Flash forward to early 2020, where I learned that a new Sakura Wars game was launching on the PS4 and that it would be coming to the west. The new entry, simply titled Sakura Wars, acts as a soft reboot for the series with a new cast and redesigned gameplay. Given my long-standing interest in the series, there was no way that I was going to miss out on trying it out. 

How does it fare? Read on for my impressions.

Sakura Wars takes place in an alternate steampunk version of 1940′s Tokyo. This version of our world is constantly under attack by vicious demons, and the only hope for the citizens are teams of warriors who fight the demons using powerful mech suits. Tokyo was formerly protected by the famous Imperial Combat Revue. Stationed out of Tokyo’s Imperial Theater, the Revue would pull double duty protecting Tokyo in their mech suits and entertaining the masses as a roving theater troupe. 

Unfortunately, the original Tokyo Combat Revue disappeared following a cataclysmic event. In their place, the rookie Flower Division has been tasked with bringing hope to Tokyo. They have an uphill battle ahead of them - they’re broke, barely able to hold their own in combat, and completely unable to hold their own on the stage. Your character, Seijuro Kamiyama has been put in charge of getting the Flower Division into shape, just in time for the Combat Revue World Games. 

As Seijuro, you must inspire the ladies of the Flower Division. Sakura Amamiya hopes to follow in the footsteps of her idol, the Imperial Combat Revue’s Sakura Shinguji. Hatsuho Shinonome is a brash shrine maiden who just wants to protect her home city. Azami Mochizuki is a mysterious - and mostly baffling - teenage ninja. Clarisa Snowflake (yes, really) is a bookworm from Luxembourg with a dark secret. Finally, Anastasia Palma is a star of the stage, whose confidence and talent may be the key to getting the troupe ready for the stage. Together - along with commander-in-chief Sumire Kanzaki - your troupe may be the last hope of the Tokyo public. 

Honestly, I love the core premise of the series. The idea of having to simultaneously manage a theater - putting on shows, racking up ticket sales - and fight demons in deadly mech combat is delightful. It’s cheesy, but kind of unironically marvelous. In my mind, I’ve built up this vision of Sakura Wars as some kind of merger of Fire Emblem with The Producers - the Mel Brooks musical about a couple of crooks using the stage to swindle a bunch of investors out of their cash. That game could be incredible. Unfortunately, that isn’t quite what the game actually is, but the core idea of the Sakura Wars series is rife with potential for a great game. 

The actual game is mostly a visual novel with occasional Dynasty Warriors-style combat. The game is split into a series of chapters - treated basically as TV episodes, complete with intros and “next time” segments. Each episode mostly consists of working your way through story scenes - conversations with the characters - interrupted by occasional combat scenes. 

Most of the game takes place as conversations between the characters that either advance the core story or just build the relationships between the characters. You can navigate in 3D through the theater building and a few select locations in Tokyo, and can initiate conversations with the characters that you run into.  Scenes marked with green exclamation points continue the core plot - and are required. There are also tons of optional scenes, marked with blue exclamation marks. You can, of course, plow through the main plot. However, the optional scenes really flesh out the cast, and give each character their own arc. 

During the story scenes, you mostly just read dialogue. At times, you can choose a response. In general, there’s really only one right answer, and it’s usually pretty obvious. You can basically boil the conversations down to the right answer, the stupid answer, and the creepy pervert answer. For instance, one of the girls might wail in despair, and you might be asked to choose one of the following: “We can get through it together”, “We’re all going to die”, and “We’ll only survive if I can grab your ass”. I know that this sounds ridiculous, but that example isn’t too far off from the actual game. 

Choosing the right answer is important in these conversations, as those answers can increase or decrease the level of trust that the girls have in you. If you can get the level of trust high enough, you can unlock new conversations - marked with hearts on the map. Eventually, these conversations will allow you to romance the girl of your choice. 

My feelings on the visual novel portion of the game are mixed. The positive side first - the core story is cheesy, but I found myself enjoying it. It’s fun, but charmingly endearing. There is a lot of melodrama, but the cast is kind of enjoyable. You can’t help but cheer a little for this merry band of absolute weirdos. I dig the setting and the core premise, and actually kind of enjoy seeing the cast interact. The writing is not what you’d really call good, but I can enjoy it on the level where I like things like 90′s X-Men comics. It’s over the top, colorful melodrama. 

Unfortunately, the pacing is often quite bad. The actual split between visual novel and mech combat is probably about 90% to 10%. The visual novel sequences feel like they stretch on forever, and a large part of that is how those sequences are set up. Between conversations, you walk through the theater and a couple of spots in Tokyo in a 3D space. However, the walking controls do not feel particularly great, movement is weirdly imprecise and neither the walking or running speeds feel quite right. Since there is almost nothing to do in those 3D environments - the only “gameplay” other than conversations is finding hidden portraits, called “bromides” - walking through the exact same hallways over and over again gets tedious quickly. The visual novel portions feel padded. Many of the pacing problems would be dramatically improved just by letting you click on rooms on a 2D map. 

The other part that really turned me off was the romance segments. Unless you’re dating pigeons, ala Hatoful Boyfriend, I’m just not a fan of dating sims. I know - seriously, I know - that dating elements are core to the Sakura Wars series. I knew coming in that romance was a part of the game. I’m fine with the existence of dating sims, and fans of the genre are more than welcome to enjoy those kind of games. They just aren’t my thing. 

Even knowing that there would be dating elements, I didn’t expect to feel so creepy taking part in them. I actually like the dating scenes in games like Persona 5, where they are just cute little dates. Here, the scenes are first-person sequences where you have to click on objects to answer questions or advance the conversation with the girl in question. This is fine when you’re clicking on a book to give Claris advice on what kind of script to write. It is somewhat less fine when Claris has fallen on top of you and you’re clicking on her lips to try to kiss her or when she is bent over in front of you and you are prompted to click on her ass. 

Basically, these are scenes where a bunch of impressionable teenagers get into quasi-sexual situations with you, their 20-year-old boss. You’re basically encouraged to poke and prod these women, and it is really off-putting in a way that I didn’t really expect. I should stress that these scenes are optional - though necessary to get the “full experience” - but they were really not something I enjoyed, and I wonder if they are more of a detriment for the series than a benefit. For me, they certainly decreased by enjoyment of the overall game. 

As I mentioned earlier, the story is occasionally interrupted for a fight scene. The battles play out as a simple brawler - in line with a game like Dynasty Warriors - Your mech can jump, dodge, and unleash combinations of light and heavy attacks. When your SP meter fills, you can unleash powerful special moves. You can also perform team attacks with the women in the troupe. Most of the time, there are two mechs on the battlefield. You can switch between them freely, and the other will be controlled by an AI. Each mech has their own skills. For instance, Sakura is focused on quick sword attacks, while Claris can perform ranged attacks. 

The combat is functional, but nothing special. Again, the actual controls leave a little to be desired. Movement feels imprecise - for instance, you can jump quickly upward, but you can’t cover much ground by trying to jump forward. This is fine in pure combat, but the light platforming required of you can get annoying. 

In some ways, this game has the biggest gap between potential and execution of many that I’ve played recently. I’m really bummed out by how negative this review sounds. I really like parts of this game. The characters are kind of charming, the story is fun. The game looks nice for the most part - the core art direction is mostly great. I really like a lot of the character designs, even if the characters are oversexualized (gravity-defying breasts aren’t really necessary). The character animation is also a little weird - people move in ways that don’t look all that natural. Again, though, I think the game mostly looks really nice. The art style is great, the costume design is fun, and the setting itself is awesome. The soundtrack is also fantastic, and I’ve found myself humming a few of the tracks from it at random times. 

However, the pacing isn’t great. The game feels slow, bloated, and heavily padded. The combat feels like an afterthought, and comes rarely enough that is somehow simultaneously both a welcome break and kind of annoying. In a way, I feel like the developers are afraid of fully committing to this being a visual novel - or, at least, that they had a time or budget crisis. They should have either cut out the portions where you cross the same 3D hallways endlessly, or given you more to do during those sections. They should have either improved the combat scenes (and given you more of them) or just removed them entirely. Either committing to this being a visual novel or improving the non-visual novel elements could have made this a great game. The result they ended up with is kind of infuriating. 

The end product is really hard to evaluate. I don’t hate it, but I don’t really love it either. There are a lot of individual elements that I enjoyed, but the product as a whole does not come together in a cohesive manner. In the end, I do hope that the series itself continues. I feel like something special can come from the core concept. Will you enjoy it? It may help to know what to expect coming in. If you’re interesting in the core concept, like visual novels, and are more into dating sim elements than I am, then this may be up your alley. It is a charming game with a nice colorful art direction and a catchy soundtrack. Just be prepared for shallow combat, slow pacing, and some questionable sexual elements. 

A copy of Sakura Wars was provided for this review.

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