#it's the ''absolutely queer issue'' so the whole thing is fairly interesting

[somekindafairy]

Pansy Division (and cover)

MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL #109 June, 1992

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Your post about "don't shit on the south" re: Alabama abortion abruptly reminded me of the worst time I've ever dealt with people immediately assuming Southern = Bad. A very loudly out-and-proud classmate of mine, upon hearing that I'd primarily been doing community and economic development work throughout the Tennessee valley prior to grad school, asked me - completely seriously - how I felt about working to improve the lives of people who wanted queer folk to die as a queer person myself. I don't even remember what my response was other than "everyone deserves to have a good quality of life" because I was absolutely fucking flabbergasted she thought that was a reasonable or acceptable question to ask - especially since we had known each other for all of a week and I hadn't actually made any indication to her that I was in fact queer! Apparently my undercut and #vibes were enough for me to be labelled without my input.

Yeah, this has been an experience I've had with academic-types who hear I'm from Arkansas and are shocked I exist as a queer who doesn't want to burn down the state.

Like, maybe the problem is that you're stuck in the repeated media portrayals of all Southern people as dumb and haven't actually talked to any of them. Some of the most liberal folks I know are from my hometown.

And the way politicians who say they care about rural folks act is a major issue, too. I remember when Hilary said she wasn't going to "bother" with a lot of Southern states, and I went on a rant for DAYS. Like, lady, you are famously the wife of the FIRST PRESIDENT FROM ARKANSAS. WHO WAS WELL-LIKED. WHAT THE FUCK. Like, you literally just announced to every poor person in the country that you assume they're too stupid to like you. By just handwaving an entire fucking region that is KNOWN to have pockets of devoted, politically interested and politically savvy people who are looking for a sense of actually being treated like intelligent people.

I'm so proud of every single person who is fighting for the abortion rights of Arkansas people right now. Based on what I hear from my own fairly conservative family down there, it's tougher than it has ever been in my life to get people to listen to why it's needed. Because Arkansas IS red as fuck. No question. And it's loud red, you know what I mean? Like, holy shit, organizers for abortion rights got enough signatures for an 18 WEEK NO QUESTIONS ASKED POLICY WITH EXEMPTIONS AFTER THAT. Every single person who went out canvassing for that campaign should be making millions running political campaigns. Do you understand the walls they just climbed with their fingernails to pull that off?

Fuck anyone who dismisses whole states or whole regions or whole groups of people they don't fucking know a thing about. Every single person who worked on this ballot initiative is a fucking hero. And there's a whole lot of folks like them. Fuck. I wouldn't be surprised if the work Stacy Abrams did to turn Georgia blue is part of what got the group in Arkansas to get to work.

[aspoonofsugar]

I wish unicorn of war would just disappear from youtube that person (cant recall their gender) with the ammount of stupid points they bring up and like recently comming on a video called how rwby fails lgbt about a show thats not over yet (and the video having blake and yang a couple that techiqually isn't together yet wonder if they are still salty over clover dying (all because a writer shipped him and qrow I didn't even know that was a ship cause to me it seemed oh clover is helping qrow

Hello anon,

I am sorry, but I do not watch their videos hence I can't comment on them. That said, I would like to use your ask to share my 2 cents on the whole LGTBQ+ representation issue, not just in RWBY, but in general.

I think it is important to realize that offering representation and exploring themes linked to LGTBQ+ or gender is not the same thing. It is the same for all important social issues. A story where there is racism does not necessary set itself up to explore the issue deeply or thematically. A series with disabled characters might not be interested on truly reflecting on disability. In short, just because there is rep it does not mean the topic is going to be at the centre of a story.

That said, rep is still extremely important to normalize some phenomenons (the existence of queer people and their right to have happy relationship, what living with a disability means, etc.). The more rep there is, the best it is. Obviously there can be some rep that won't meet everyone's taste and maybe in some cases it might be offensive to some and can be criticized. However, with the exception of very rare cases, every rep is on some measure positive and deciding that it is not woke enough for your standards is literally helping no-one.

Now, RWBY has some decent rep imo. Blake and Yang are main characters and they are clearly ending up together. The series also has minor characters that are confirmed queer like Ilia, Coco, May, Sofron,Terra, Nolan and Scarlet. There is absolutely nothing bad in this.

You want more? That is a fair wish, but not all series are gonna have as much queerness as you want. That is a fact. Some authors will be more interested in representing this kind of characters and in exploring these themes. Others will not.

You don't like Bumbleby as a ship? Fine, it does not change it is 2 main girls ending up together in a Young Adult American series that debuted in 2013. Like, I am not sure, but I think Korrasami happened in 2015... imo remembering RWBY has been planned in its major bits (which I am fairly sure involves the endgame ships) not today, but 10 years ago is good food for thought.

Now, Bumbleby's execution is not perfect (I really think they should have handled Sun better), but it is not even remotely as out of the blue or as badly written as some people claim. Imo it is something clearly decided since early on:

Black the beast descends from shadows. Yellow beauty burns gold.

Even dismissing Red Like Roses, volume 2 and 3 still clealry code Blake and Yang romantically.

Yang and not Sun is the one who convinces Blake to go to the dance:

Yang: And if you feel like coming out tomorrow, I'll save you a dance.

So, symbolically she is the one who brings Blake to the ball:

Sun: Sooo, does this mean we're going... together?

Blake: Technically, though my first dance is spoken for.

Notice that Blake and Yang wear complementary outfits (black and white, ying and yang), while Black Sun have both black clothes.

Not only that, though:

Blake: I had someone very dear to me change. It wasn't in an instant, it was gradual - little choices that began to pile up. He told me not to worry. At first they were accidents, then it was self-defense. Before long, even I began to think he was right. This is all just... very familiar. But you're not him. And you've never done anything like this before. So... I want to trust you. I will trust you. But first, I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me that he attacked you. I need you to promise me that you regret having to do what you did.

Adam: And as I set out upon this world and deliver the justice mankind so greatly deserves, I will make it my mission to destroy everything you love.

Yang: Blake! Where are you!?

Adam: Starting with her.

Yang is directly compared to Adam aka Blake's previous partner and lover and she is Adam's target the moment he is trying to hurt Blake. Like, crazy ex-boyfriend targets new love interest is a recurring trope. Not to count Yang losing her arm is juxtaposed to Pyrrha screaming Jaune's name while he is being attacked by Cinder. Arkos is clearly romantic and the 2 scenes happening frame beside frame is a way to equate the 2 relationships.

In short, structurally there is little doubt. Bumbleby is endgame and it is set up very very early on in the story. Criticizing the ship because it has yet to happen makes little sense to me. How many straight ships are confirmed at the end of a story? Why should they have the chance to crown the characters' arcs at the very end, but queer ones have to be confirmed early on to prove they are somehow good enough?

What is more, even if you somehow decide to follow this standard... so far only Bumbleby and Renora are clearly confirmed as endgame ships. Personally, I think all the major characters will end up in a ship by the end. Even if this were not the case, I am still fairly sure Renora and Bumbleby are not gonna be the only 2 ships. And yet, they are the ones who have undergone the most development and are clearly the closest to be confirmed as canon.

In short, for the standard of the series... Bumbleby is actually confirmed pretty early on imo :''')

Anyway, thank you for the ask anon and have a nice day!

[sineala]

The gay Invaders

Hi, internet! Today I'd like to talk about one of the chronologically-first canonically-gay couples in Marvel Comics history: Brian Falsworth (the second Union Jack) and Roger Aubrey (The Destroyer). (I mean "chronological" in terms of in-universe timeline rather than RL publication date; I'm pretty sure Northstar is still the first to publication as far as unambiguously-gay Marvel heroes go.)

If you are a fan of reading or writing about Captain America being queer, you should care about Brian and Roger, because they were two of Steve's fellow Invaders in the 1940s, meaning that they are two of the people on the list of Steve's Old Gay Friends And Teammates, because, yeah, Steve sure had a lot of canonically gay friends during the war. Probably more than you'd think he would have had in the forties! (The other two are Percival Pinkerton, who's part of Nick Fury's Howling Commandos, and of course Steve's childhood friend Arnie Roth. Pinky is gay by word of Stan Lee, IIRC; Arnie was as canonically gay as DeMatteis could make him in the early 1980s, so they didn't say the word "gay" but it's really, really not subtle. Steve compares what Arnie feels for his "roommate" Michael to what Steve feels for his girlfriend Bernie. Yeah.)

I previously made a Tumblr post about Brian and Roger, rounding up some of the canonical evidence of their relationship, but that post is six years old now, and in the intervening years, Marvel has thoughtfully put the rest of the 70s Invaders run on Unlimited as well as the two Citizen V miniseries that star Roger and retcon his relationship with Brian as romantic. So I've read them now, and I've got panels.

Okay. I should probably begin by saying that Brian and Roger are not canonically gay in their first significant appearance together, which is in Invaders vol 1 #19 and #20, published in 1977. Roy Thomas does not seem to have intended them to be a couple, and they aren't canonically one in any of the original Invaders run. However, if you enjoy gay subtext, it's very nice.

This whole arc is the one that introduces Roger in modern canon. He's been brainwashed by the Nazis and the Invaders rescue him and get him back to his normal self. But in #19 we get his backstory in flashback, as related by Montgomery, Lord Falsworth (Brian's father; yes, MCU fans, the name should look familiar) and it turns out that Roger and Brian were basically best friends since childhood:

They were the dearest of friends!

Anyway, they both ended up captured by Nazis, they presumably changed their minds about appeasement as a policy, Brian got out and joined the Invaders, then they had to rescue the brainwashed Roger, and it's a fair amount of fun in a two-issue arc.

The subtext is even more prominent in Invaders #34, in which they find out that someone going by the Destroyer (which is Roger's codename) has been doing villainous deeds, and the Invaders worry that Roger's gotten himself brainwashed again. Brian immediately insists that it can't really be Roger because he knows Roger and Roger Would Never:

Unsurprisingly, Brian is right. It's not really Roger; Master Man is impersonating the Destroyer, and the villains have taken Roger captive, and the Invaders break him out and there is an extremely significant moment where it just so happens that Roger has to catch Brian, saving his life for a change, and they stare deeply into each other's eyes and Brian seems to be having difficulty finishing his sentences:

Some people who read this therefore concluded that Brian and Roger were extremely gay for each other. While ordinarily this sort of shipping is mostly confined to fandom, in this particular instance, one of the people who started shipping Brian/Roger was Fabian Nicieza, and Fabian Nicieza, as you probably know, writes comics for Marvel. I think you see where this is going.

However, first I must inform you that, sadly, Brian has been canonically dead for years. Captain America vol 1 #253-254 -- the two-parter about Baron Blood in the Stern/Byrne Cap run in the 80s -- establishes that Brian died in a car accident in 1953. (This is also the run where Joseph Chapman -- a friend of Jacqueline Falsworth's son Kenneth -- becomes the third (and current) Union Jack.)

(Roger then appears in a bunch of T-Bolts issues; I assume there's nothing interesting there on the gay front because I feel like someone would have told me. I should probably read more than three T-Bolts issues someday.)

So, anyway, in 2001, Fabian Nicieza wrote a miniseries called Citizen V and the V-Battalion. Roger, who is still superheroing as the Destroyer despite being pretty old by this point, is part of the titular V-Battalion, and he has a very prominent role in this miniseries. And in #1, we have the usual splash page of character backstory, and there's a very, um, interesting line there:

Regarding Brian and Roger's relationship, the narration informs us: "It sounds much gayer than it probably was."

This is interesting, obviously for a couple of reasons. One is that, up to this point in canon, as far as I can tell, literally nobody thought any of this sounded the slightest bit gay at all. (Other than, I guess, Fabian Nicieza.) The other reason is that, as we soon find out, it actually was as gay as it sounds. Thanks, Fabian!

In 2002, Nicieza wrote a second miniseries, Citizen V and the V-Battalion: The Everlasting. Issue #1 opens with a flashback set in 1953; specifically, we see Brian's funeral:

Roger is extremely sad, and when Lord Falsworth expresses his sympathy about the death of Roger's "friend" and saying that he knows how much this hurts him, Roger mutters under his breath that he doesn't have the slightest clue:

All is revealed on the next page, when one of the other characters tries to ask Roger about superhero business and Roger snaps at him because, as he says, "I just watched my friend die in my arms."

Except "friend" isn't the word he starts to say:

Yep. That would be "lover." So Roger nearly outs himself. So, yes, now it's absolutely canon. Hooray.

Later on in the issue, which is set in the present day, we have a couple pages of Roger staring at pictures of the two of them and continuing to be sad:

Yeah. They were a couple.

So the question you -- being a Captain America fan -- might ask yourself is, okay, did/does Steve know about any of this? (The reason I started looking all this up was because I wanted to know if Steve knew.) I don't know if we have a panel of Roger specifically admitting any of this to Steve (and if we do, I would like to know about it), but I would be comfortable saying that Steve probably knew back then -- because, well, he seems like the kind of guy who would actually have been fine with it in the 40s, what with all his gay friends -- and also that I can't think of a reason why he wouldn't know now. Because he's definitely worked with Roger again in fairly recent comics, and also Roger is very much out, these days.

In fact, New Invaders #4 (2004) opens with Roger attending Pride:

So, yeah, he's out.

(Then he has to fight, as far as I can tell, homophobic Nazi vampires. They're yelling slurs in German. Great.)

In All-New Invaders #10, which is from 2014 (and which is not the same series as New Invaders), Roger shows up to help out the Invaders, and in passing, he just happens to mention to another character (Joseph Chapman, the current Union Jack), that he is in fact gay:

He and Joseph don't really like each other much; as far as I can tell, their acquaintance in New Invaders consists of Joseph being vaguely homophobic and Roger being bitter about him being Union Jack because he actually wanted to be Union Jack himself to honor Brian's memory -- you know, that thing superheroes sometimes like to do to honor their dead superhero significant others, viz. Hank when Jan was dead after Secret Invasion -- and now Union Jack is this annoying kid and not, y'know, the love of his life. This exchange from New Invaders #4 seems pretty representative of their relationship:

Anyway, yeah, he's pretty obviously out.

Steve isn't actually present for this conversation in All-New Invaders, but he mentions in a later issue of this run that he knows what Roger and his pals have been up to, plot-wise, so I feel comfortable assuming that he's talked to Roger at some point in the previous ten years or so, and therefore, since Roger is completely out at this point in canon, there's no reason Steve shouldn't know now.

On an unrelated note, it's also a fun issue if you're a Steve/Tony fan because this is clearly running in parallel with Hickman's Avengers run, which means that he spends half a page telling Namor that he's mad at him and the rest of the Illuminati (but mostly mad at Tony because... he's just obsessed with Tony in this run, I guess?) about the mindwipe:

This is the sum total of my knowledge about Brian and Roger. No, wait, I know one more thing, which is that Brian was a character in the late, lamented mobile game Avengers Academy, in which he was also actually gay; Roger does not seem to have been there. There's a CBR article that you can read about the whole thing, which mentions some of these details from the comics in passing. (I have no idea why it says that their relationship was alluded to in the Stern/Byrne run; unless I missed something big, the only thing those issues do is establish Brian's death. As far as I can tell, no one is gay in them.)

So, yeah, that's Brian Falsworth and Roger Aubrey, the two gay Invaders. Steve sure has a lot of gay friends.

[asexual-society]

Asexuality and Me (It's Kind of a Long Story) by @darcyshire

I had my first boyfriend when I was in my early teens. He was a good friend, we got along very well, and he remains to this day very special to my heart. We were together for just a few months — not so uncommon for a junior high relationship — and I broke up with him because I was pretty sure he was going to try to kiss me. Not anything more than that, nothing “too far” for a pair of 13-year-olds, but that was too much for me. I apologized profusely, and he was upset because he didn’t understand what the issue was — because I couldn’t tell him. It sounded so dumb.

I had a few more boyfriends in the next couple years, and every time it was the same: if I felt that things were moving past holding hands or hugs, I ended the relationship. I was a serial dumper, never the “dumpee”. 

When I made it to high school, I had a group of friends, some of whom identified as lesbians. I was intrigued by the comfort they had in their relationships with other girls, so I wondered, “Am I maybe gay, and that’s why I keep breaking up with boys?” I thought about it and realized that no, I did often find myself having crushes on boys I knew well and enjoyed the company of. I also had those feelings for a few girls I knew well. I toyed with “bisexual” as a label, and used that privately, in my own head only, until I came across the term “pansexual” online, which I felt was a perfect description of the feelings I was having (minus the sex part). Gender didn’t matter when it came to crushes; I liked who I liked, and that was that.

When I had my first “real” boyfriend, I was 15. He asked before he kissed me the first time, and it turned out that I didn’t hate it. I did hate when he brought up sex. At the time, I was involved in my church, and I was opposed to sex outside of marriage, so the idea of going against that was upsetting. I wanted him to stay with me, so I went along with some of what he wanted — and it made me feel disgusting. Same thing with my next boyfriend; I dreaded anything to do with sex. I thought about whether it might feel different if I was with a girl instead, but with my involvement in a fairly conservative church community, I felt it wasn’t safe to try. 

When I met my now-husband, I felt none of the pressures I had felt before. He quickly became my best friend, and we got along incredibly well. He and I had similar values when it came to saving sex for marriage, so I didn’t have to worry about that aspect of our relationship. We dated for 4 years before we got married, and I was absolutely, 100% sure that marrying him was what I wanted, and what would make me happy. Our pre-marital counsellor had asked if waiting for sex had been difficult; my husband said yes, and I said absolutely not. I truly spent no time thinking about it. As our wedding date approached, however, I started to get very anxious. So much so that my own therapist suggested not “doing the deed” on our wedding night, to take the pressure off and make the experience less nerve-wracking. (I ignored her recommendation, and everything went mostly fine.)

For the first few weeks of our marriage, I was pretty indifferent about sex. I wasn’t interested in it, but my husband was, so I participated at his request. It wasn’t exciting or enjoyable for me, but it wasn’t something I was terrified of until a few months later, when I started having feelings of deep distress afterwards. I would wait for him to fall asleep, and would go out into our living room and cry; sometimes I had thoughts about self-harm or suicide. I became deeply depressed (more than I had ever been before, as depression has been a part of my life for many years), and my husband noticed that I was never initiating intimate experiences. We were married in August 2019, and the last time we had sex was February 2020, because I just couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t stop asking myself what was wrong with me. What was broken? Was it because of my previous relationships? Was my depression making me frigid? (Of course, I never considered the fact that sex had been of no interest to ever, even when everyone around me was thinking about it constantly). 

[This is a long story, so my apologies that it’s a bit rambling. Now to the good stuff!]

I was scrolling Tumblr in the early months of 2020, and I came across the term “asexual”. I’d not really heard much about it before, but from the short description, it seemed like it fit my experience. I did some online searches, and came across a document from AsexualityArchive.com called “Asexuality: A Brief Introduction.” I read the whole thing in an afternoon and found myself literally crying, because I felt so relieved. I learned that day that there was nothing wrong with me, that there were other people who also had no interest in sex — some were even repulsed by the very idea of taking part in sexual experiences, like I was. I told my husband, fearing he would leave me, and he was incredibly loving, gracious, and accepting. He loves me for my personality, not for what I can offer him sexually.

I started using the label “asexual”, (‘ace’ for short), and felt really comfortable in that. When I learned about the split-attraction model that many aspec folx use, I changed my labels to “panromantic/asexual” (pan-ace), because that fit even better. When I began to question my own experience of gender and sexuality, and got involved with the rainbow community, I decided that “queer ace” was the best fit of all, and that’s where I’m at today. I’ve come out to my family as queer, and was unfortunately outed to my husband’s (conservative Christian) family before I was ready, but after the fact, I am glad the people closest to me know that being queer is am important part of my identity. 

Only my husband, my mom, and a few close female friends know about my asexuality (outside of the online queer communities I’m a member of), because I’m tired of hearing people say things like, “maybe it’s just your depression”, or “you should see your doctor about that”. Plus, it’s mine and my husband’s private business how we conduct our sex life, not anyone else’s. I didn’t know there was a word for people like me until early 2020, but I’ve been ace my whole life; looking back on things now, I can find many indicators of asexuality starting from before I was even a teen. 

I’m now 24 years old and a proud member of the queer and aspec communities. I hope that my story might give hope to others who have been asking themselves why they have so little interest in sex. It’s not a defect — it’s just the way we were made. As a person of faith, this realization has meant the world to me. 

[the-ghost-king]

Interestingly enough the fandom isn't always rational with their criticism. Take Percy and Rachel for instance. A perfectly healthy cute and functional relationship dynamic, but people really hated it because it got in the way of Percy/Annabeth.

I think it can also come down to the fact that not all situations are exactly equal if that makes sense. If you have a character dynamic in couple A, that often playfully bully of fight with eachother that's a different dynamic than relationship B, where one person has trauma resulting from bullying and the other parter behaves in roughly the same way as couple A do. In that case the behavior may be seen as inappropriate. Not that this example has anything to do with the ships at hand, but I think a long form meta examining the different paralleling issues from both relationships and their validity would be easier.

Also I haven't seen anything about about Nico/Will being called toxic. Yikes, what are people saying exactly, because I don't doubt a lot of people might be projecting unconcious bias.

Oh absolutely, I may seem young but I remember the Rachel vs Annabeth ship wars all too well... I do not want to go back 😅

The rest is under a read more though, I got a little carried away talking! Also this isn't my best post on the issue by far so please feel free to check out the tags I mention later on!

(AN: I use nblm alongside mlm in this post because some nblm individuals will consider their attraction to men as gay, or queer, while others will not and those individuals are often closely connected to mlm experiences and they also deserve to talk about their thoughts and feelings if they wish. I am aware nonbinary people are not a monolith and not all nonbinary people will categorize themselves or their attraction this way, it's up to nonbinary individuals reading this to determine where they fall on what)

As for Solangelo being toxic some of the conversations revolve around the ableist nature of the ship, this is definitely most obviously a dynamic in BoO, and it's a more than fair point about the ship I don't have anything negative to say there in the slightest!

(The above parallels with the idea that Will is introduced as a "healer character" for the "sad gay kid", which is a fair criticism as well but one that's often left rather one sided, because while that is true- if it's a way Nico likes being treated (watched closely for injuries and cared for) then it's not wrong, and in ToN Will is seen overstepping Nico's boundaries which causes a healthy argument about Will doing so and he stops, so if Nico doesn't tell Will "no" or some variation he's obviously not horribly uncomfortable with the situation, or from the way it would be interpreted alongside previous text, there's fair reason to think he likes it)

The thing with Solangelo I see often is "Nico is still processing trauma, and internalized homophobia and isn't ready for a relationship" which is a huge misunderstanding on how trauma and internalized homophobia work as a whole, because the experiences can be different for everyone. You can absolutely date someone while processing internalized homophobia, you may struggle with certain things but it is absolutely doable for some people. And trauma is such a varied thing, and it's not like he's solely relying on Will either, he is seeing Dionysus for therapy and getting the help he needs! Your life doesn't have to go on hold for therapy no matter how much trauma you are sorting through! (Not disclosing my medical history or anything but I have struggled with both things and my life didn't stop for me to deal with them, I made new friends, went on dates, etc- it is possible depending on the person so the very narrow view of "this is unhealthy" and "this is impossible" rubs me wrong when it's treated as fact over opinion, because it's an opinion).

There's also constant discussions about how fandom (in current) fetishizes both Nico and Will, which I, and other mlm and nblm have spoken our own thoughts on multiple times to be largely ignored by the biggest perpetrators of this "they're overly fetishized narrative". There's also fairly consistent discussion of how fandom treats Nico and reduces him to uwu small gay boy, which more often than not seems to mean "effeminate" rather than actually harmful stereotyping (yes queer men are allowed to be "girly" especially considering there is some canon text that could be interpreted with that meaning, if there wasn't a plausible way to determine canon that way I wouldn't care if people were going after others feminizing Nico a bit- but the issue is again, fact and feeling aren't the same and fandom seem to conflate the two rather often).

(Some of that ties into nonbinary Nico head canons which are common as of current, and that argument quickly becomes transphobic is people don't watch themselves... Even without bringing nonbinary Nico into the equation, headcanoning Nico as femme isn't bad or wrong, and to say otherwise becomes gender policing which is bad).

There's also this weird obsession with there being a "correct way" to ship mlm ships (specifically solangelo), which when considering it's not mlm or nblm saying those things, it becomes really uncomfortable. Especially because the wording of some posts is less "hey this is homophobic" and comes off more like people are more upset at seeing an mlm couple than at the fact that they're being shipped poorly.

All of this in combination with the constant, talking over of queer guys (specifically mlm and nblm) comes off really messed up, and yeah homophobic.

It's not something that can be pinned down to one specific thing but rather a series of smaller microagressions (which in sure most of are intended in good faith but are being filled with subconscious bias) that build up over time- which is why my concern is that solangelo is facing harsher criticism/different treatment that percabeth simply for being a queer ship.

I can't be 100% sure on that like I said, because that's something that is hard to gain tangible evidence for, or maybe even impossible :/

If there wasn't so many other small things going on alongside the harsher criticism of solangelo, I would honestly just ignore it... But the weird policing of "how to ship solangelo" while proclaiming it's "overly fetishized" all while speaking over a not insignificant number of mlm and nblm who have agreed with certain opinions, or taken time to write their own (+ some of the rhetoric that can be found on he blogs of people commonly expressing these opinions) is super uncomfortable and definitely homophobic... Even if they were treating the ship kind of weird, but treating the queer guys talking about it well and actually listening (because the current solangelo fandom probably has the highest proportion of queer guys in comparison to any other fandom I've been in with an mlm ship as of right now) I wouldn't be so bothered... But sadly that's not the case..

(I'd also like to note out of my posts criticizing the current conversations happening around the issue my post saying "listen to mlm voices" got a lot more notes than some of the other ones, which I can't say is specifically anything, because like solangelo perhaps being treated unfairly to percabeth, I am willing to acknowledge there might not be an issue- but it's weird how often mlm and nblm's posts on "listen to us" will be uplifted but never any actual criticism... Just a thought)

I detail things a little closer and in more detail in some of my posts tagged #fandom homophobia, #mlm fetishism, and #gender policing in fandom, it's not a full or comprehensive list (I've only really started speaking up in the last month or so), and it is largely solangelo specific. However I am always interested in listening to the voices of other queer guys about the issues and hearing out their thoughts as well (people aren't a monolith and I'm interested in trying to be as nuanced as possible!) and I acknowledge that although I am mlm and am going to be a little better at recognizing issues and calling them out (although I like every person am not perfect of course)

So yeah! That's a bit of the current ongoings, again not a full comprehensive list, and definitely not my best explanation ever but I think the point gets across well enough? Definitely check out my other tags if you're interested in more, there's also definitely more posts I need to make on some of the things I've seen (maybe not all of them so solangelo fandom specific, and maybe some of them even more solangelo fandom specific) but it's rather slow work in progress!

[all-drarry-to-me]

Queer book recommendations 📚

Okay, so I received this super nice ask, kindly requesting another list of book recommendations, but when I finally got around to answering it, Tumblr (being the hellsite that it is) ate the ask. Emi, I hope you know how thrilled I was to see that in my inbox — not only have you read some of my favorite books based on my recommendation, but you liked them enough to ask for more! I’m happy to put together another list, and please feel free to message me at any time to talk about books!

Without further ado (and in no particular order), here’s part two of some of my favorite queer books:

1. All for the Game trilogy by Nora Sakavic: I could talk about this series for ages. Listen, I know it’s problematic: they’re not the most well-written books, the plot is insane and there’s a whole host of trigger warnings that go with the series. It focuses on college athletes, who come together through Exy, a made-up sport that the mafia is involved in. Somehow, despite all of that, I managed to fall in love with the series quite quickly. It’s like nothing I’ve ever read before, and the characters — even with their numerous flaws — really drew me in. The found family trope is so well executed (I couldn’t help but root for the Foxes throughout the series), then I absolutely love the way they handle consent. Of the core characters, there’s two who are gay and one who’s definitely on the ace spectrum, though it’s not outright stated in the book. And while I said they’re not the most well-written series, which I do stand by, there’s also a handful of BEAUTIFUL lines from the books.

2. “Running with Lions” by Julien Winters: This is the only other sports-themed book on the list, I promise! Some of my love for this book likely stems from my own years running around the soccer field — this takes place at a summer training camp, but that’s definitely not the only reason it’s on this list. I’m a big fan of enemies to lovers, and while this is more ex-friends to lovers, there’s definitely some animosity to be worked through when Emir unexpectedly shows up at the soccer camp. I love the way he and Sebastian bond, and the way their friendship evolves before becoming a more romantic relationship. There’s some standard coming-of-age vibes within the book, but the plot and the characters are interesting enough to help set it apart from others in the genre.

3. “Orlando: A Biography” by Virginia Woolf: This one is a little different than the others on the list, but I wouldn’t recommend it any less. I feel a little in love with Virginia Woolf over the past year and, of her books that I’ve read, this one really stands out. It’s from the 1920s and features a main character who lives for 300+ years — and who’s trans (Orlando is born male, then wakes up one day as female). With the way time works and the plot itself, it’s a bit strange, but I found it captivating, and the whole thing is a love letter to Vita Sackville-West, another writer with whom Woolf was in a relationship with. (Don’t get me started on their relationship — there’s a book of love letters between the two of them that’s achingly beautiful, but the book is hard to find.)

4. “Upside Down” by N. R. Walker: This is trope-y and wonderful and I would highly recommend. It has issues with pacing, but it made me genuinely happy as I was reading it. I finished it in a day, maybe two, because I couldn’t put it down — and I have two of the author’s other books in my Barnes & Noble cart as I’m typing this. In “Upside Down,” both of the main characters are ace; one is sure of his identity and the other is just starting to figure it out, and they work to navigate that together. It’s sweet and a quick read if you’re looking for something fairly fluffy.

5. Iron Breakers trilogy by Zaya Feli: If you take the plot from Captive Prince and mix it with the writing of All for the Game, that’s a close approximation of Iron Breakers. The main character is hard to like at times (he has a lot of growing up to do) and the plot isn’t groundbreaking — there’s a lot of similarities to Captive Prince — but there’s also a lot of positives the series has going for it. The world building is really interesting, the love interest is wonderful and the series has some compelling twists. The first book is free through Nook and I bought the second two immediately after finishing it, then could not put those down until I was done!

6. “Olivia” by Dorothy Strachey: There’s not enough wlw romance on here, which is one of the reasons I wanted to add “Olivia.” It’s another one that’s slightly different than the others on the list; it was originally published in the 1940s and is loosely based on the author’s own life, telling the story of a girl who goes to finishing school and falls in love with her teacher. It’s the story of first love, and forbidden love at that.

7. “Cemetery Boys” by Aiden Thomas: This book absolutely worth a read — Yadriel is trans, and is trying to prove to his family that he’s a “real” man by summoning a ghost to help solve his cousin’s murder. Instead, he summons Julien, then proceeds to fall for the ghost while trying to help Julien figure out how he died. Thomas creates such an interesting world within the book and the three main characters (Yadriel, Julien and Yadriel’s cousin/best friend Maritza) are so much fun together.

8. “Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda” by Becky Albertalli: Look, I think most people have heard of, if not read, this book but I’d be remiss if I didn’t include it on my list. It was actually recommended to me last time I made a queer rec list and it didn’t disappoint. In some ways, it’s a relatively standard coming out novel, but it has some really interesting differences. The way in which Simon is forced to come out makes the plot unique, and I love how supportive Simon’s family is — there are so many books where the character comes out and is subsequently kicked out, and it was nice to see a different take (I may have cried a little at that point, but that’s neither here nor there). If you haven’t read it, I’d definitely recommend.

9. Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo: This is like, “Ocean’s Eleven,” but with teenagers. I liked the first book slightly better than the second, but they’re both great — they focus on a group of six planning an elaborate heist, with Kaz as the leader of their little gang. Each character is really well-developed, and both the plot and the world-building are first class. There’s a mlm romance on the side, so this one’s a bit more subtly queer than some of the other recs, but they’re still great books.

10. “The House in the Cerulean Sea” by T.J. Klune: This book is wonderful in so many ways. It’s focused on Linus Baker, who’s sent on a classified mission to a magical orphanage, where six “dangerous” children live with their caretaker, Arthur Parnassus. The characters — all of them, big and small — are compelling and interesting; they’re well-thought out and unique, which I think is a huge strength of Klune’s, visible in this book and the others I’ve read by him. Linus and Arthur are a bit older (in their 40s) and I love the way that contributes to their relationship and their character development, then the plot is somewhat simple, but the characters and the world are compelling enough that you don’t need any major twists or turns.

Next on my to-read list is “The Mercies” by Kiran Millwood Hargrave, which I’m absolutely psyched about, and I’m counting down the days until “One Last Stop” by Casey McQuiston is released.

(You asked if I've read anything by Seanan McGuire — I haven't; any recs for what to start with?)

Please let me know if you ever want more recs and I’ll be happy to throw some titles out there, and I'd love to know what you think if you end up reading any of these!

[lanonima]

First review of the new year! I also decided that once I hit twenty, I'll start a new graph because this one is getting pretty crowded. There's plenty of open space, but I'm not likely to read stuff in that open space so…

Anyway, my review of Copper Coins:

Romantic - Fucky is not how risque a work is but rather my opinion of the attitude/quality of the main relationship, the way the characters interact with respect to one another. I like a lot of stuff in fiction but if you’re easily made uncomfortable, stay towards the top half.

Easy reading - Plot-heavy is how I personally consider the plot’s intricacy and successful implementation, regardless of the author’s intention.

Copper Coins

Author: Mu Su Li

Quality: 5

Enjoyment: 4

Comments: Oof. I hate, absolutely hate, saying the phrase "show don't tell" about novels because it has to do with screenwriting and doesn't really apply to novels all that much but damn. This book was so surface level. I did not feel a single emotion the entire time. It actually reminded me a little bit of Nan Chan, and retroactively made me like that book better because I would definitely rather reread that than this. Not saying it's a bad book, I'm sure it's fine, and if you liked Nan Chan and want a relationship with a similar dynamic and are less of a bitch than I am, you will probably like this one too. It just doesn't have enough emotional depth to be entertaining to me.

Would I read it again: No, and I won't read anything else by this author either.

The reviews of things I previously read are below the cut.

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Author: MXTX

Quality: 9.5

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have a huge emotional connection to this novel. There are some weak parts, the tension isn’t quite even, she’s pretty terrible at erotic scenes and not great at fight scenes…but that being said, I love the characters and some of the plot points really ripped my heart out. This is a novel that’s really driven by the characters so if you’re a character-focused person like me, definitely look into it (as if we all don’t already know it lmao). I really, really love this story. Every single adaptation of it has also been great, but the novel is still my favorite. It was my introduction to xianxia novels too, so you can say it changed my life!

Would I read it again: I’ve already read it twice, and consumed every adaptation (sometimes also multiple times)

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Author: MXTX

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I’m not much of one for comedy and, as I discovered, not really into system novels either. Clearly weaker than MXTX’s later work, many of the characters are somewhat bland, she hasn’t quite found her groove yet. It’s not my style but the fandom is hilarious and the fans constantly produce content that I actually do find entertaining so overall I still have some fond feelings for this one, even if not for the source material.

Would I read it again: I found a different translation and am willing to try again in the future, I’m also willing to watch the donghua. But I can’t guarantee I’ll like it any more than previously.

Tian Guan Ci Fu

Author: MXTX

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I love this book…but not as much as I love Mo Dao Zu Shi. I think the plot is somewhat typical, however the characters are great once again (though maybe slightly less deep than MDZS), and her use of thematic repetition and foreshadowing are killer. Actually, I liked this book more the second time around because it just hits differently. Definitely the best of MXTX’s couples, they are so soft and sweet. Very long, but worth it.

Would I read it again: I already have, was personally translating the manhua before I hurt my arms, and am eagerly awaiting the donghua this fall!

The Villain’s White Lotus Halo

Author: A Big Roll of Toilet Paper

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: Fuck, I love this one so much…..even though it’s also a system novel. But that part is in it so rarely that it reads more like pure fantasy. I love the characters, I love the plot, I love the way the relationship is developing. Oh yeah, the translation isn’t even complete but I already purchased not only the original from JJWXC but also the print edition. I’ve even drawn fanart for it, which is so unlike me. Every time a chapter comes out, I’m ruined for the rest of the day, I can’t think about anything else. Good fight scenes, which is uncommon. My favorite danmei novel so far.

Would I read it again: I fully intend to once the translation is complete, and also plan to read it in Chinese later (I’ve already read certain parts in Chinese hahaha but not the whole thing)

2Ha (Husky and his White Cat Shizun)

Author: Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: 2Ha is not for the faint of heart, it’s very horny, and violent, and has a lot of questionable content. However I love it so much. The story and characters are great, Meatbun really has me by the heart. The writing is a little more on the casual side but it hardly matters because the story is so great. Good fight scenes. Chu Wanning is like, the ultimate Me™ character, I hate how much I adore him. If you read this, just go into it knowing that it’s a long emotional journey, the characters are very dynamic and there’s a lot of character development.

Would I read it again: Same as the above, I plan a reread when the translation is done and have read parts in Chinese and might read the whole thing again later. Cautiously eager about the up-coming live action and donghua.

Di Wang Gong Lue

Author: Yu Xiao Lanshan

Quality: 2

Enjoyment: 9

Comments: This is one of the most terribly written things I’ve ever read, but I’m a character girl and the characters and ways they interact fucking kill me. I’m constantly entertained….although I don’t think this is actually supposed to be a comedy. If I were going to treat myself and like, take a bubble bath and read something that made me laugh, this is exactly the sort of trashy romance I would want to read. Technically a political intrigue story but it’s so abrupt and full of holes, are any of us reading it for the actual plot? The donghua is on Youtube, I watched it first and recommend others to do the same. If you can handle that, you can handle the book because it’s exactly the same in quality, just gayer. I do love the main couple a lot, the set-up surrounding the relationship is great, and the side characters are also really fun.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but I’m still having fun with it. I watched the donghua and read a bit of the manhua as well, which has very cute art and is probably my favorite version of the story.

Liu Yao

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7.5

Comments: I really struggled getting into this one, it took me about 25 chapters to get invested. Initially I had rated it a 6 in enjoyment but after careful thought, I realized that even though it was so hard for me, it probably is my favorite Priest novel and I really do love the main couple so much. Her side characters also seem to be slightly stronger than usual in this one. Decent plot, not too much or too little. It seems really chill to me, doesn’t provoke much of an emotional reaction but I do think it’s very sweet, which is nice sometimes too.

Would I read it again: No, but I think (?) it’s supposed to get some kind of tv adaptation (drama or donghua, not sure), and if that happens, I’ll watch it.

Didn’t Know the General was Female

Author: Rong Qing

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: Not the greatest thing I’ve ever read, but cute. It’s short, and a little lesbian fluff is never a bad thing. Writing is a bit weak and the plot is basic, but the characters are enjoyable and I liked it overall.

Would I read it again: No.

Wrong Way to a Demon Sect Leader

Author: Yi Zhi Dayan

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Again, not the greatest in writing or plot, it’s a bit shallow. But I found the idea of it to be entertaining, and actually liked it more than I would have assumed. It’s fairly short and cute, like a good summer beach read.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but possibly, if the stars align.

Female General and Eldest Princess

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: A very good first effort, but the writing is a bit weak. It’s slow to start and I don’t think the political plotline is spectacularly strong. Some things were left unexplained, and her sense of battle tactics and fight-writing were very confusing, definitely room for improvement. I don’t think it’s as good as people say, but she writes with the air of someone who will continue to improve. And also, a lesbian author writing lesbian stories so that’s a plus. Overall I enjoyed the experience, this story is definitely worth a read.

Would I read it again: Maybe, but probably not.

Sha Po Lang

Author: Priest

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Originally I rated this one higher, but on later thought I realized that I actually enjoyed Liu Yao more. I personally have issues with the way Priest writes, and this book showed a lot of them. Characters were okay, I did like the main couple, but side characters were weak as usual. The plot is pretty good, though not great, and I think some of the pacing is off. Some descriptions were confusing, but that could be a translation issue. Overall, still a pretty good political drama, but I would say that of the three I read, this was the Priest novel with the least impact on me.

Would I read it again: No. But I will watch the live action if it ever gets made.

Guardian

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I love Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan, thought the plot was interesting, and there were some enjoyable moments. But it has all the problems I usually have with Priest in addition to some choices that offend me as a queer reader. I spent about 75% of the time reading while pissed off. And actually the fact that it had a happy ending kinda bummed me out because I love a good tragedy. Overall, I can only give it an average score. If you like Priest, you’ll like this one too. I’m not a tv person but I binged the hell out of the live action, I really loved it, so I was sort of disappointed that the source material didn’t seem as strong as I had assumed.

Would I read it again: No, but I will happily watch the live action again some day.

Jing Wei Qing Shang

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 9.8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have to start off by saying: damn girl. The improvement evident in this book is absolutely insane. A few minor issues prevent me from giving it a 10 out of 10 – her transitions are still extremely abrupt, the ending is slightly weak and some plot points remain unresolved, and her use of narrative repetition is too heavy-handed for my taste. Other than that, this book leaves me almost speechless. Very similar to Female General and Eldest Princess, there are many similar themes and events. But while I thought FGEP was fairly cute, I like this one way better. If you like angst, political intrigue, and lesbians, you should definitely read this book. I have no doubt that Please Don’t Laugh will continue to improve in the future, and I really look forward to following her career.

Would I read it again: 100%, I absolutely intend to read this again sometime in the future. It’s very long and very dense but delightful and ultimately worth it.

Fox Demon Cultivation Manual

Author: Feng Ge Qie Xing

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: This was a delightful romp. I had expected it to be somewhat silly and was pleasantly surprised. It was heavy enough to be engaging but light enough to be an easy read, with multiple spots that made me literally laugh out loud which does not happen often. This is apparently just one book in a series of same universe novels, and a lighter-hearted one at that. I would be interested to read the others because I found the world pretty engaging, and I do want to know what became of the other characters. Overall I found it very fun and very cute, I read it in four days so that says something. On the downside, the link for chapter 9 is broken. But skipping a chapter doesn’t seem to have affected the experience of the novel as a whole.

Would I read it again: Yeah I think I would be willing to read this again someday. If it gets adapted I would also consume adaptations, in addition to being interested in the other connected works.

Golden Stage

Author: Cang Wu Bin Bai

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: This one has some Sha Po Lang vibes, but the characters have more depth and chemistry. The word ‘more’ here is extremely relative because it’s still pretty shallow. I honestly liked them both, I liked the relationship and the psuedo-rude way that they flirt entertained me. As for the plot…ehhhh. It tried. There were things that worked, but in general the plot seemed disjointed from the characters and there were a few things that had no business being there and just muddied the waters. It’s not bad necessarily, it’s just not very smooth. There are better political intrigues to read if that’s what you want. But if you just want some sugar-sweet fluff with a backdrop of drama, then this one is perfect. My favorite scene was probably the flashback to the first few times they met, absolutely fantastic.

Would I read it again: Nah.

Nan Chan

Author: Tang Jiuqing

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: This one is kind of weird because it’s definitely competent, it’s well-written and has a fairly in-depth plot, but I just didn’t really enjoy it all that much? I never got emotionally attached to any of the characters, and I didn’t even really get the relationship buildup. I understand what the author is going for with it of course, but it didn’t necessarily make a lot of sense… Or rather it seems like some bits in the middle were just missing, there’s good buildup in the beginning and in the end but how they got from point A to point B was kind of not explored to my satisfaction. I did really like the flashback to the past, I thought that storyline was all pretty interesting. The big bad was kind of disappointing to me as well though. In general, I think this is a really good book with a lot of skill behind it but it’s just not really my thing.

Would I read it again: No.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Things Duggan could do/could have done with Pyro in Marauders:

This list is partially me being bitter, but it’s also just kind of a creative exercise, thinking about the development potential that Pyro has.

1. Redemption arc - This seems obvious.  Pyro is already hanging with the good guys, but is he actually undergoing a redemption arc?  Is he actually changing his views or becoming a better person?  We don’t really know because we barely see anything from his perspective, and it’s usually shallow comic relief when we do.  The groundwork is there to give Pyro a redemption arc.  He was already regretting his actions and questioning the Brotherhood’s methods when he had the Legacy Virus, leading up to him saving Senator Kelly.  Why not follow up on that?  Does he still feel the same way, or is he disillusioned because Kelly was killed right after he saved him?  Are the Marauders (all of whom are better people than Pyro) rubbing off on him a bit?  Maybe he’s starting to enjoy helping others or learning to trust humans?  (Or not?)  In today’s issue, Iceman was confronted by a Reaver that he had previously maimed, which was interesting, but that’s another storyline that I think would also fit Pyro.  Pyro has surely been maiming some people - maybe being confronted with the results of that would help him reconsider his actions.

2. Legacy Virus stuff - Pyro hasn’t said a damn thing about the way he died, and I understand him not wanting to talk about it.  But again, that sparked a semi-redemption arc for Pyro back before he died.  And now he’s on a ship that is taking medicine to humans that need it, and just built a hospital in Madripoor.  Maybe his experience being sick has given him a greater sense of empathy, and a desire to help sick people.  If Masque can find meaning using his powers to help humans, you’d think there would be space for Pyro to say something serious about his Legacy experiences while they are dedicating a new hospital.  Even just a throwaway line.  Hell, Storm was dying of some kind of nano-virus for part of Marauders (although it was never mentioned in the book at all), maybe he could have sympathized with her over that?  Maybe having Yellowjacket inside him - another case in which his body has been invaded by something microscopic that can kill him - triggered some Legacy feelings?  We could have explored that, instead we got a “funny” scene of Magneto pulling Yellowjacket out of Pyro, and Pyro wanting to kill him. 

3. Team bonding - Pyro has been accepted on the team surprisingly quickly.  Faster than I would expect, really.  And of course, he’s small-potatoes evil compared to even some people on the Council, but I’d still expect a little bit of friction between him and his team-mates, given that he used to try to kill them.  Even without that history, he’s still the odd man out on a team that already knows each other, and are friends, or at least former team-mates.  We had that kind of friction with Emma and Storm, why would we not get that friction between Pyro (the former terrorist criminal) and the others?  I would have expected at least a little bit of distrust, followed eventually by some kind of bonding issue where Pyro is more accepted by the team, and in turn accepts his place with them.  Who does he even consider a friend when he refers to them as “his friends”?  He seems to like hanging out with Bishop and Iceman, but we’ve mostly gotten that through wordless background panels and a couple of “funny” scenes.  Do any of them even like him or consider him a “friend,” or do they just tolerate his presence?   

4. Writer - One of the things I find most interesting about Pyro is that he had a whole-ass career before joining the Brotherhood.  He traveled around Southeast Asia, he was a journalist in Indonesia and Vietnam, he wrote romance novels.  And most writers don’t explore that at all, but you’d think it would come up when the Marauder is traveling around the ocean.  Maybe he speaks another language that would be helpful.  Maybe his investigative skills as a journalist come in handy.  Maybe he takes them to an old haunt or meets up with an old contact he knew in Vietnam.  Maybe he spends his spare time writing smutty historical pirate-themed romance.  I would have enjoyed that much more than the goofy “dream sequence” that Emma planted in his head, at least that would have felt like authentic character development rather than something being pushed upon him from the outside.  Most comics writers don’t really get into Pyro’s civilian career, but as a regular on a book, I’d expect it to come up at least once, even as a thowaway line.

5. Brotherhood and past history - Pyro has had absolutely no contact (that we know of) with his old Brotherhood pals.  He doesn’t even mention them.  Why is that?  Why isn’t he hanging around the bar with Blob when the Marauder’s at Krakoa?  Why isn’t he texting Avalanche?  Has he become estranged from them after saving Kelly (which would be an interesting plot point if Duggan developed it), or is he just hanging out with them off panel?  You’d think there would be some mention of his past history at some point.  Even in today’s issue, when he, Iceman and Bishop got attacked by Reavers.  Pyro has a history with Reavers!  He fought them on Muir Island as part of Freedom Force, and the team lost both Stonewall (which happened right in front of Pyro, and he seemed broken up about it) and Destiny (which completely destroyed Mystique).  The Reavers in this issue were not the same ones, they were a new breed, but you’d think Pyro might have something to say about encountering Reavers again. 

6. The gay thing - This is more my own personal preference, but Pyro WAS deliberately queer-coded in his earliest appearances, and John Byrne intended for him to be gay.  They couldn’t openly write him that way back in the day, but nowadays I think no one would bat an eye if Pyro, a fairly minor villain, was somewhere on the LGBT scale.  He wasn’t always queer-coded, but he had an ambiguous relationship with Avalanche, his sexuality was never firmly established (he was never in an open romantic relationship anyone), and he died a lingering, painful death from the virus that was intended to be an AIDS metaphor.  It would be quite interesting to see Pyro as a closeted gay (or bisexual) man resurrected in a world where different sexual orientations are far more accepted, and slowly opening up about it to Bobby and Christian (or even Shinobi).  Not to mention, it would give Bobby and Christian more to do, and Christian could talk about his own traumatic experiences without it being all swept under the rug.

7. Doubts about Krakoa - When the team first met Pyro, he was trying to steal a boat and run off, because he’d realized that his resurrection was mostly just a lab experiment to test the process.  Now he seems to be all-in, and dedicated to the Marauders’ mission.  What changed?  Does he harbor any doubts about the Quiet Council, or is he a true believer now?  Does he EVER talk to Mystique, to whom he used to be extremely loyal?  Pyro can be written as dumb at times, but more frequently he comes across as one of the more intelligent and thoughtful Brotherhood members.  Maybe he’s decided that everything on Krakoa is so new and confusing, he’s just gonna turn his brain off and enjoy his new life?  That would also be fine, if it was actually treated as character development.  

8. Divided loyalties - If I’d expect anyone to betray the team, it would be Pyro.  And that doesn’t necessarily mean I want him to do that, but I’m surprised it hasn’t come up.  You’d think Shinobi or Sebastian Shaw would approach him to act as a mole in exchange for lots and lots of money.  Hell, I half-expected him to be spying for Mystique when he first showed up.  And again, it could still happen, but there’s been no lead up or suggestion of that at all.  I would honestly find it disappointing if Pyro suddenly turned on the team or was revealed to be a spy, because he hasn’t bonded with them well enough for it to be meaningful at all. 

The thing is, any of these ideas could be explored, and still keep Pyro as the comic-relief party animal that Duggan is currently writing.  He wouldn’t even have to have significantly more focus (although some focus would be nice).  This could be accomplished through small scenes, little asides, throwaway lines.  Duggan wastes so much page time setting up “moments” and atmosphere (Kitty and Emma riding horses up to Sebastian’s castle comes to mind).  He spent a whole issue beating up Sebastian Shaw without any other significant plot advancement (then crams all his plot into the issues that feature other characters).  He spent a few pages on a goofy fantasy dream sequence that told us nothing new about Pyro, and again, turned out to a falsely manufactured dream that Emma planted in his mind.  We could have used those pages to show Pyro writing something, or show a different side of him through Yellowjacket’s spying, and it STILL could have been comic-relief.  If Duggan actually wanted to explore Pyro in a more serious way, there’s both the space and potential for it.  He just.....doesn’t. 

Anyway, this is all wishful thinking of what could be.  I’ll just have to write fanfic or something. 

[brandonxdylan]

Omg OK so there’s yet another gay 90210 storyline that I feel compelled to offer commentary on, and this one’s perhaps the most frustrating one of all (which is saying something because none of the gay representation on this show has been what I’d call good, and in fact most of it has only served to make me hate these self-involved heteros even more). 
So here we are. It’s season 9, and all the drama is extremely contrived at this point, and you can tell that the writers are basically just pulling ideas out of a hat. What if Val murdered her dad? What if Dylan came back? What if Donna had a heretofore unmentioned cousin who was a pro figure skater and also a pro schemer? It’s from this context that we get “hey, what if Steve’s mom was gay?” 
Personally, I’ve always appreciated the continuity with Steve’s family life. His parents are pretty well-rounded characters with full, consistently plausible(ish) backstories, which is more than I can say for half of the regular characters on this show (*cough cough* Noah). Given that, is it random and contrived for Samantha to come out as a lesbian? Yeah, probably. I don’t think this was some grand plan that the writers had been sitting on for nine years, just waiting to reveal. But I don’t really care because it’s also true to life. A lot of people come out in middle age if not later, and this was a post-Ellen world after all. Being a gay celebrity (Steve’s mom is a sitcom star) was no longer unheard of. However, it was still considered a huge risk to come out as gay and still expect to find work (especially if your work was expected to be “family friendly”). So the conflict here is timely, and fairly realistically written. The actress who plays Samantha, Christine Belford, sells it, and there’s a nice sense of empowerment that comes through in her character, who is clearly not willing to tolerate the bullshit box that society wants to put her in. There’s the makings of a truly compelling story here. But of course that’s not what we get, because man, does Steve piss me off in these episodes, and as per fucking usual, the writers completely let him off the hook. 
When Samantha first comes out to Steve, he’s shocked. Fair enough. But it’s not long before he begins to place lots of unfair judgment on his mother (despite David trying to talk him down by saying lesbians are valid because two girls making out is a turn on…thanks for that David). Eventually he goes so far as to remind the reporter from a gossip magazine who contacts Steve for comment regarding rumours of his mom’s sexuality that’s he’s adopted. Naturally, Samantha takes this as tacit admission that he’s ashamed of her, as she sees this as being Steve’s way of distancing himself from her and her sordid Lifestyle.™ Which it absolutely is. This is where we get the exchange pictured above in which Samantha justifiably questions Steve’s selfish expectations of her and he comes back with this WAY HARSH slap in the face. He immediately regrets it, but the damage is done. His true feelings are crystal clear. 
And to be clear, my issue is not with Steve’s homophobic feelings. I actually think that, especially for the late 90s, Steve’s reaction isn’t that unusual (sad though that may be), and I think there’s lots to be gained from digging into the ways in which latent homophobia can manifest itself in unexpected ways, and how that can cause massive problems within otherwise close families. No, my issue with this episode is with how Steve’s homophobic feelings are resolved. The storyline culminates in Samantha getting fired from her much-hyped comeback sitcom once she’s outed. And it’s not until this happens that Steve finally starts to come around. But this is what pisses me off the most, because right up until then, Steve is only thinking of himself, and how his mother’s sexuality impacts his life. He even goes so far as to question why she adopted him in the first place, asking if it was part of her heterosexual cover up. My good God, this is some hetero nonsense that I simply CAN. NOT. Anyway, when she drops the bomb that she got fired, suddenly Steve becomes protective of her and is furious that she has to suffer such injustice. But…like…BRO. You were literally JUST treating her the same way. The whole thing reads as “you’re my mom, and I can be homophobic and treat you like a pariah, but the rest of the world? HELL NO!” 
And honestly, like so many Very Special Episodes of 90210, it’s not the fact that the characters are flawed that’s the issue. The problem is that no one ever learns from their flaws or has the opportunity to grow in a realistic way. The characters are often depicted as having latent (and sometimes straight up blatant) prejudices, and that is okay, because we literally all do. But almost every time, these prejudices only function to give the main characters an opportunity to simply change their mind and get a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum. Steve’s relationship with his mother changes exclusively as a result of external factors completely outside of his control. He doesn’t have to do anything. He barely even apologizes! It totally feels like the show is condoning Steve’s earlier behaviour, which feels pretty retrograde by today’s standards, and I’m sure was not particularly progressive even by 90s standards. It pussyfoots around the complexities of the questions it raises, and to be honest, that always leaves a bit of an icky taste in my mouth, because it seems clear that the issue isn’t being raised out of interest in exploring it - it’s being raised to pose as a problem for the straight characters. 
Still, I don’t want to speak for all queer audiences, but I for one am very used to accepting scraps. I mean fuck, this blog literally exists because I projected a non-existent romance between Dylan and Brandon on to the show because queer audiences are so used to having to do the work that most shows won’t in terms of creating queer characters. So to see a show like 90210 actually attempting to address queer issues on TV in the 90s (however shallow and frustrating the end result may be), is still satisfying. It was a worthwhile endeavour, and many similar shows did it well. And as much as I’m tearing into this episode, I’m still glad it exists because even though it provides no answers or legitimate commentary (90210 is weirdly centrist when it comes to political and social issues), it at least acknowledges that gay people exist, and that they can be middle-aged mothers, which is a demographic that doesn’t even get a ton of representation now, let alone in the 90s. Most coming out narratives follow teens or twentysomethings, which is fine, but coming out can happen at any age, especially in the 90s when the stigma was only just starting to lift, and many people who had been closeted for decades felt like they could finally come out. And for all my issues with the way Steve is portrayed, Samantha’s portrayal feels surprisingly tender and sympathetic. But, like so many queer characters, she ultimately shows up only to offer complications for the straight people around her before vanishing into thin air, because this was the last episode Samantha appeared in. 
At least this way I can imagine her living her best gay life somewhere.

[rsadelle]

The best books I read in 2020

I read 167 books in 2020, which is a little more than one and a half times as many as I read in 2019. (I had a crisis of counting at one point when I read a string of novellas, but ultimately came down on the side of if I can check out the ebook from the library as a single volume, then it counts as a book for the purposes of my list.) Only ten of those are books I reread, which is a fairly low reread number/percentage for me. The large number of books I read this year made it extra difficult to narrow down a small number of the best ones, which is why this list is longer than in previous years. It is, in fact, long enough that I have put it behind a cut to spare your dash.

Top 11 fiction books/series I read for the first time in 2020

Bread Alone trilogy (Bread Alone, The Baker's Apprentice, and Baker's Blues) by Judith Ryan Hendricks - I so enjoyed this trilogy about bread baking and figuring out your life and building a home/community and love. I read it at the beginning of the pandemic, when everyone was baking bread, and it was one of those things I was sad to finish because I didn't want to leave the characters.

Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson - I have read a lot of suburban housewife with a secret books over the last couple of years. This was an excellent example of the genre with the good use of a thematic motif and a second secret reveal after you learn what you think is the biggest secret. Content notes: I had to skim a few chapters because of the large amount of weight and disordered eating content (which is relevant to the character), and there is sexual abuse of a young teenager by an adult as part of the story.

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin - This was such an interesting concept and done so well. It was one of the most popular books my sci fi book club read this year, and the New Yorker in our group said it was her favorite New York book ever. The most disappointing part of this book is that it's the first book in a trilogy and the other books haven't been published yet. Content notes: eldritch horror and realistic racism.

The Sci-Regency Series (My Fair Captain, The Englor Affair, My Regelence Rake, Diplomatic Relations, and My Highland Laird) by J.L. Langley - The delightfully ludicrous premise of this series is that there is a gay Regency society in space, which makes for some really fun romances. I've loved this series for over a decade, and I was thrilled to reread the first three books before reading the two new books that came out this summer. I recommend reading the novels in order, as there is an overarching plot involving the Intergalactic Navy that is interesting and ongoing without overshadowing the romances. Content note: these are on the erotica end of the romance spectrum, which means they have very explicit sex scenes. I wrote a lot more about this series in a Yuletide promo post comment.

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo - I was so sad to finish this book! I have read a lot of commercial/literary fiction about families in the past few years, and this might be my favorite. I found the characters really compelling and enjoyed seeing their differing perspectives. I didn't want to leave this family.

Throne of Glass series (Throne of Glass, Crown of Midnight, Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, Empire of Storms, Tower of Dawn, and Kingdom of Ash) by Sarah J. Maas - This YA fantasy series shouldn't work given its constant escalation, and yet, somehow it does. I greatly enjoyed it, and I cried more than once at the last book. This is a series where I recommend not reading anything about future books until you've read all the books before them so you can enjoy the continual reveals. These are very much genre novels, and if you don't like the genre, these books will not be for you. Content note: there is a lot of genre-typical violence.

The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai - I admit that I was mildly skeptical about this book given that what I knew about it was that it was a story about the AIDS epidemic where one of the two timelines is about a woman trying to reconnect with her daughter, but I ended up loving it. The two alternating timelines fit together beautifully, and I thought it did a good job of not eliding the horror of the AIDS epidemic experienced by the gay community in favor of the straight woman's experience. I do remain skeptical of how many awards it won; while it was a genuinely excellent book, I also know that awards bodies love dead queer people.

We Set the Dark on Fire and We Unleash the Merciless Storm by Tehlor Kay Mejia - I loved this YA dystopianish (more cultural class divide than apocalypse or singular villain in control) duology about queer women falling in love while working toward revolution. The world building was good, the plot was good, and the romance was good.

Sisters of the Vast Black by Lina Rather - This novella about an order of nuns who travel through space in an organic slug-like spaceship was absolutely wonderful. It deals with issues of faith, purpose, central control, and doing what you can to make the world a better place.

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson - I loved this YA novel in a sort of Regency-ish setting about a girl who grew up in a library full of magic books and her dealings with some sorcerers, complete with a romance. Content note: attempted mental coercion and institutionalization.

The Wren Hunt and The Wickerlight by Mary Watson - This is a YA duology about rival druid groups in modern day Ireland. I found both books totally compelling with interesting druid politics and magic. It was also really interesting how well we get to see the worst of both sides of the rival druid groups in the two different books.

Top 5 books/series I read and then thought about a lot in 2020

The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher - A friend recommended the author to me. This particularly book is a supernatural horror novel I don't necessarily recommend. However, I have continued to think about elements of it since I read it. (Before you @ me about the author's other work, this was the third of her books I read and the other two were in the more beloved fantasy novel genre.)

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal - I actually didn't like this book that much. We read it for a book club, and it had an interesting concept that wasn't super well executed. However, I have thought about elements of it a lot since then, particularly in comparison to some of the other sci fi I encountered this year.

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - I don't know how much "I actively thought about these a lot" describes my actual experience of having read these, but given their popularity and the number of conversations I had about them, I can't omit them from this post entirely. I liked the first one once I figured out what kind of story it actually was, had absolutely no idea what was happening at any point in the second one, and discovered with both of them that I have a much more limited vocabulary than I thought, at least when it comes to death-related words. I am invested enough that I will read the third book when it comes out, but probably won't read any more of the author's work beyond that. If you want to know more about what I thought, I wrote a very spoilery post about them.

The Sixth World (Trail of Lightning and Storm of Locusts) by Rebecca Roanhorse - This is a pair of novels set in a post-apocalyptic world where there's a magically/divinely-erected wall around Dinétah (the Navajo lands). The worldbuilding and characters are so interesting, and it's a series where some of the details stuck with me and I would randomly think of them. I'm looking forward to reading one of her other books in a few months for my sci fi book club.

Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics by Mirabai Starr - This was one of two books about women mystics I read and disliked this year, and the more disappointing of the two as I'd heard an interview with the author that I found interesting. I continued to think about this one a lot in an angry, "and another thing!" way, which did help me articulate more of the things I dislike about new age-ish framing of "feminine" wisdom/divinity/knowledge.

Top 3 non-fiction books I read in 2020

The Vagina Bible: The vulva and the vagina - separating the myth from the medicine by Dr. Jen Gunter - This is probably better as a reference work than as a straight read-through, but it was interesting enough to read straight through. The book is deeply rooted in science and facts, and she has a whole chapter on "Vaginas and Vulvas in Transition" specifically about anatomy for trans people.

Here All Along: Finding Meaning, Spirituality, and a Deeper Connection to Life - in Judaism (After Finally Choosing to Look There) by Sarah Hurwitz - This is a useful, contemporary introduction to Judaism from someone who shares a lot of my values. The first half is an introduction to Jewish thought, while the second half focuses more on spirituality and practice. The book is part general introduction and part spiritual memoir. I found it deeply inspirational and I added it to a wish list of books I want to own copies of (I read it as a library ebook) because I would like to both reread it in hardcopy where I can easily flip back and forth and use it as a resource for further study and reading.

You Can Draw in 30 Days by Mark Kistler - You may remember that I wrote more about this when I originally finished reading the book. I found it a gentle, funny, helpful book to teach you the basics of drawing.

The 2 authors I read the most in 2020

Jennifer Lynne Barnes - I read fifteen of her books in three weeks in January, when I was still working full time, and a sixteenth after it was published later in the year. Her books are fast-read YA novels that are deeply engaging and generally have some sort of mystery element to them which may or may not involve family secrets. She has a tendency to write variations of the same characters, which meant that I enjoyed mentally mapping the characters from various books onto characters from other books. Also, her werewolf trilogy does one of my favorite werewolf story things that you almost never see (but it doesn't happen until the end of the first book, so I won't spoil it by telling you what it is). Many of her books involve violence, so heed the summaries or email/message me if you want some content notes.

Laura Lippman - I read nineteen of her books this year, eighteen novels and a non-fiction essay collection. She's an excellent mystery writer with a distinctive voice. The time I read four of her books in four days, I found myself thinking in her style. Even if I hadn't otherwise enjoyed My Life As A Villainess, her essay collection, it would have been worth reading just for the kicker on "The Thirty-First Stocking." Content note: her novels frequently involve violence or its aftermath.

[mediaevalmusereads]

The Devourers. By Indra Das. New York: Del Rey, 2015.

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Genre: dark fantasy

Part of a Series? No

Summary: On a cool evening in Kolkata, India, beneath a full moon, as the whirling rhythms of traveling musicians fill the night, college professor Alok encounters a mysterious stranger with a bizarre confession and an extraordinary story. Tantalized by the man’s unfinished tale, Alok will do anything to hear its completion. So Alok agrees, at the stranger’s behest, to transcribe a collection of battered notebooks, weathered parchments, and once-living skins. From these documents spills the chronicle of a race of people at once more than human yet kin to beasts, ruled by instincts and desires blood-deep and ages-old. The tale features a rough wanderer in seventeenth-century Mughal India who finds himself irrevocably drawn to a defiant woman—and destined to be torn asunder by two clashing worlds. With every passing chapter of beauty and brutality, Alok’s interest in the stranger grows and evolves into something darker and more urgent.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: rape, gore, violence, sexual content, scatalogical imagery

Overview: I was honestly surprised by how much I loved this book. I went into it expecting a dark fantasy or horror tale, but what I got instead was a visceral, sensual, lyrical meditation on gender, love, humanity, and embodiedness that absolutely refused to let me go once I turned the last page. Some readers, admittedly, may struggle with this - not only is rape an integral part of the plot, but there is a lot of gore and scatalogical imagery that may be off-putting. However, I think these things added to the theme of embodiness, so while some images aren’t pleasant, I think, literarily, they are important. I can’t remember the last time I felt so utterly consumed by a story, and for this reason, I’m giving The Devourers 4.5-5 stars.

Writing: Das’s prose is very descriptive, but I think the author walks the line between being dense and being poetic. I never got the sense that the pace was weighed down by descriptions, and everything was straight-forward enough where I wouldn’t call the prose purple.

I also think Das is a master at using language to evoke strong emotions, whether that be anger, longing, or disgust. Multiple times throughout the novel, I would read a description of dirt or bodily fluids, juxtaposed with an image of ecstasy or loneliness or something else that seemed to contradict the revulsion I felt, and I think such contradictions enhanced the strangeness of the shape-shifter world. To put it more succinctly, this book is gross and primal, but through the gross imagery, it arrives at something more interesting, rather than being gross for shock value.

Plot: This book tells a couple of different stories using Alok’s transcription process and relationship with the stranger as a frame. Thus, there are three fairly distinct threads: Alok’s tale, Fenrir’s tale, and Cyrah’s tale.

Alok’s tale is primarily about alleviating loneliness by finding companionship and learning about the supernatural world. I’ve put it rather bluntly, but it’s more sensual than that. There’s not much that actually happens aside from a series of encounters between Alok and the stranger, but I think these interactions tell the reader a lot about making connections across time and across cultures.

One of the manuscripts that Alok is asked to translate is the brief account of Fenrir’s attraction to Cyrah. Fenrir is the name given to a centuries-old male shapeshifter who has an inexplicable desire to be more human and create life (something that is forbidden among their kind). He finds himself drawn to a human woman named Cyrah, who he rapes and impregnates. What I appreciated about this story was the lack of sympathy it gets from all characters (Alok, Cyrah, Gevaudan, the stranger), so I felt like it was included less as a way to excuse rape and more of a way to understand Fenrir’s motivations. While some may argue we don’t need to understand, I think it ultimately has literary value.

The other manuscript is Cyrah’s account, which made me less angry at the inclusion of Fenrir’s. Cyrah describes her anger at being raped and resolves to confront Fenrir, hoping to make him get rid of the child inside her. To find him, she seeks the help of Gevaudan, Fenrir’s onetime companion. I really loved the story of their journey together and the relationship they formed, which was less romantic and more of a deep, emotional bond that transcended divisions such as predator/prey, shapeshifter/human, and old/young. I also really loved Cyrah’s speeches about how men use women and how Fenrir’s desire to be human is rooted in the basest of human behavior (one might argue it’s even animal behavior). For me, Cyrah’s was the most engaging story of the three, and the most emotionally heart-wrenching, but I could be biased.

Characters: Alok, our primary protagonist (if one could call him that) is a queer man who harbors a deep loneliness following a broken engagement and the lack of family acceptance due to his attraction to men. I really loved Alok’s interest in the stranger and his desire to be close to someone who offered him solace through stories. His longing for more information about the supernatural world mirrored my own interest as a reader, and I think Das did a good job of making Alok relatable enough to serve as the frame but unique enough to not feel like a blank avatar. I also liked how his (their?) exploration with gender at the end mirrored the changing bodies of the shapeshifters.

The stranger, who is mostly nameless, also got more interesting the more I read. At first, he just kind of showed up and spoke in vague puzzles, but the more his story unfolded, the more understandable his mysteriousness became. I liked that Das eventually explained his reasons for choosing Alok and why he withholds information, such as his name; I’m not a huge fan of random mysterious figures, so I appreciated the fact that this character was more than that.

Cyrah is perhaps the most interesting character in that she too provides a frame for the reader. As a human woman, she is also a stranger to the world of the shapeshifters, but she also provides the sole female perspective in the novel. I really liked that she was brave and insistent, not letting men scare her into silence, and I loved the points she made about humanity and gender throughout the book. She also is honest about her feelings about motherhood, which I appreciated, and I think she brings to light several class issues that showcase why it’s not reasonable to expect her to just move on with her life.

My favorite part of this book was Cyrah’s relationship with Gevaudan. Gevaudan is a shapeshifter who considers humans to be solely prey until he gets to know Cyrah (and even then, Cyrah is special - his attitudes as a whole don’t change, but it was interesting to see his relationship with Cyrah evolve). He initially agrees to help her find Fenrir because he wants to reunite with his companion, and he thinks if he is with Cyrah, Fenrir will be less likely to harm him (for reasons explained in the novel). Gevaudan’s emotional relationship with Fenrir is incredibly complicated and queer, and I liked that there was so much tension between the three characters in terms of who had relationships with who. I loved that Gevaudan’s feelings for Cyrah are never portrayed as romantic, but something deeper than friendship that challenges a lot of the beliefs he has about whether or not his kind can feel love.

Fenrir, despite being a rapist, is also interesting for his flawed idea of what humanity means. Although I hated that he raped Cyrah, I appreciated the role he had in the novel and the way he brought out Cyrah’s indignation. I also liked the relationship he had with Gevaudan and the contrast he provided, which prompted questions about the nature of monstrosity.

TL;DR: Told through multiple perspectives using evocative (and often revolting) imagery, The Devourers is a stunning debut of a novel that interrogates the nature of monstrosity and identity, using shapeshifters to challenge (hetero?) normative states of embodiedness, sexuality, and gender.

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Absolutely no need to answer this, I’m being nosy but respect your privacy so see how you feel...do you identify as gay or bi? And if bi, is it a 50:50 equal split? Literally just curious, no judgment about anything (of course)

Nosy is totally fine! 🖤

I identified as bi when I first came out probably because pan wasn’t commonly used, and I’ve always defined bi as “people the same gender as me, as well as people who are not the same gender as me,” which covers a lot of bases. It’s sorta just habit to call myself bi now. But I’ve been attracted to people who fall outside the traditional gender binary as well, and I think gender is a fairly useless and outdated concept as a whole, so. I guess I’d say pan is more accurate than bi, but i usually just say “queer” as a handy-dandy catch-all.

Recently, I’ve found myself waaaaaay more interested in women; I haven’t had sex with a dude in like a year and a half, and I don’t miss it at all. I have historically had a lot more sex with men than women, but my experiences with women have been so much better. Like, overwhelmingly so.

Back when I first came out and started dating a girl in high school, my parents weren’t totally psyched about it; they weren’t homophobic, they just felt awkward about it. For a while I mostly just dated men, because it was easier socially speaking and because I think part of me didn’t want to deal with the emotional ordeal of dating a girl again.

Then a couple years ago when I broke up with my last serious boyfriend I got involved with a girl, essentially came out to my parents all over again, and this time around we really started to talk about it and unpack a lot of baggage that came along with the whole thing and they were extremely accepting, and it was such a relief. So I sorta had like a gay renaissance or something 😂 between that, and processing some dude-related trauma, and just generally gaining a lot of self-confidence, I felt a lot more comfortable pursuing women and exploring part of my identity that I didn’t necessarily flaunt for most of my early 20s.

In the last year or so, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own issues with emotional honesty, hetero sex as a performance, and my socially ingrained instinct to please men, also, and I’ve realized that there’s always been a level of honesty and comfort and friendship with women that makes those relationships so much more appealing at this point in my life. There are so many expectations and unspoken rules with men; you’re supposed to act a certain way, everybody has certain expectations... whereas my relationships with women have always been founded on friendship first, which makes it a whole lot easier to have a healthy relationship. I use the word relationship loosely, here, btw. Even if it’s just a no strings attached thing, there’s a level of emotional comfort with women, and I’ve always stayed friends with them afterward, because there aren’t all these weird social constructs in place dictating how everybody is supposed to act, the way there is with hetero relationships.

AAAAANYWAY.

I could dissect my own issues with gender and relationships for days, but the short answer to your question is that lately I’m pretty gay, but really it’s more of a wibbly-wobbly sexy-wexy thing!

(Be nosy!)

[the-queer-look]

Queer Limelight

Name: Anton Age: 59 Location: Redfern Occupation: News Presenter Sexual Orientation: Gay Gender: Male

I’ve been a news presenter for the past twenty five years, and I’ve spend just over twenty two with SBS, in the presenters chair since 1999. I identify as a gay man. Of all the labels you could apply to yourself in life that would be the one that most defines who I am. I would describe myself as being quite conventional in the way I present in terms of gender, and fashion forwardness. I don’t think I’m particularly adventurous when it comes to fashion, I like to look smart and presentable, but because there is a public version of me and a private version of me, I tend to keep the two fairly seperate. For professional events, appearances, and broadcasts there is a very specific way that I am required to dress, and it’s quite constrained. When I’m not in that mode, just walking the dog, hanging out with my partner, or doing sports it’s much more dressed down than even just meeting someone like I’m meeting you today where I would want to be along that line of smart and comfortable. In terms of presenting gender wise I present as very male. I come from a generation of gay men where there was a very strong divide between flamboyant men, and masculine men, and no one wanted to be the flamboyant man who was easily identified as gay – It was a time when you wouldn’t want to be easily recognised as gay, luckily times have changed, but I still feel that that sense of who I am is leaning to that masculine side. Given I’m not a particularly masculine personality, the way I present is definitely leaning in that direction.

A lot of people say that it (realising your sexuality) happened very young for them. High school for me was the turning point where I realised that there was an attraction that I felt. The way that my guy friends were getting crushes on girls, I was getting crushes on boys. Initially you just think “oh thats just a phase I’m going through, don’t worry about it.” but by the time I reached high school I realised that’s a feeling that isn’t going away and that it felt very natural. It’s a fairly agonising time, realising that that’s part of who you are, and not just something that you’re going through and will grow out of.

I am more assertive as a gay man, There is a burden that is lifted from you when you come out, and thirty five years ago it was a very different process coming out compared to what it is today. It manifests in smaller things like… would a man wear a scarf? There was a time when I wouldn’t do that because it felt too flamboyant, too obvious. Now though I feel much more comfortable, I’ll wear statement pieces, I wear an ear stud on camera – there was a time that would have been completely unacceptable for being too gay. Today? No one gives a stuff, News presenter is wearing an ear stud? So what? I’ve had it in since 1982, it’s not a new thing, but I can now feel comfortable having it in and presenting a part of my personality. I used to have to take it out and replace it with one of those blank studs for the news, its so much easier now!

I’m originally from South Africa, which was a fairly repressive society, and there was a lot of pressure to conform. I was outed by a newspaper reporter who just ambushed me saying “I just found out this information, would you like to comment on this story? I’m going to publish it anyway.” I was outed and not sure where it would leave my television career, but it was also like a liberation, I didn’t have to hide anymore. From there I became active in sports administration, gay and lesbian sport specifically. That was a big validation for me, it was like finding a home to be where I felt comfortable. We were actually campaigning for change, acceptance, and awareness. We had media campaigns going, local and international sports events going and that was a big turning point for me in terms of feeling comfortable as a gay man.

It was both empowering but at the same time those were the early nineties. It was a time of great transition for all of South Africa. Apartheid was being broken down, all of that negotiation was going on and it felt like the gay community… we weren’t the main game, but there was an opportunity for the community to say “hey, don’t forget about us, there are all these major political reforms, new constitution and everything, and we are a part of the deal.” It was quite empowering – I wasn’t a part of the process, that was for all of the advocates, lawyers, campaigners, and activists, who were doing all of the negotiating, but it was quite exciting to be a part of something new – to go from a system of great repression to a model constitution that was a world leading document that included a bill of rights that specifically included no discrimination on the basis of age, gender, sexual orientation, ableism and so on. It felt like being a part of history.

It was interesting to come to Australia from that, a whole different environment that was completely unknown. I came into a media market where I had zero experience and just lucked out at finding any employment. In about 2002 there was a thing in “The Good Weekend” called “Just The Two Of Us.” where they just interview two people about their relationship. They called me up and asked me to take part and I didn’t think for one second whether I should consider the implications, or consult my employer, and it was like a second coming out, just here in Australia. I outed myself as a gay man to a national publication. Luckily I work for quite a progressive network where that sort of thing has never been an issue.

I’m quite positive about the term “Queer”, I’m very much in the camp that says “That’s out word to use in whatever positive and constructive way that we want”. There was obviously a time in my life when that was used as an insult, and you couldn’t speak back against that because that was just the way society was set up in those days. There was the “establishment” the state, the church, community leaders, psychologists, everyone was on one side, and you were the exception, the outsider, the rule breaker, the disruptor, and the establishment could use all of these weapons to beat you down and try to make you conform, and that was one of the words that they used in those days to try and force you to be something you were not. I celebrate the fact that nowadays we can take a word like that and say this is our word, this word is for us and we have the right to shape how it is used.

I thin it’s very important to keep some pressure on all media to keep everyone honest. We all have a place in all of those platforms, and you need to keep reminding them that cant have an all white newsroom, and all white presenting team, and all heterosexual presenting team, or an all non-indigenous group. We need that diversity, and we need to keep reminding people when they fall down on the job. There are organisations like Media Diversity run by Antoinette Lattouf from Chanel Ten, and it’s really important to have organisations like that to support people trying to get opportunities in the media, whatever little support and advocacy you can get as a minority is always welcome and needed.

I always try in whatever small way I can to support organisations, individuals, campaigns that try to present a positive image of the larger gay and lesbian community. I’m not sure if that counts as being completely engaged in the queer community, I’m not an activist or advocate, but I try to support the community whenever I can.I feel absolutely connected with gay and lesbian people in the wider community. It is very much a part of who I am and how I see myself. I’m proud to be a part of that community, it isn’t something that was thrust upon me, it’s something I embrace. You don’t want to be pigeonholed as the “something” person within the media landscape – I don’t want to be labelled as the gay news presenter, or the brown skinned, or the migrant. We are many things in many situations, but my connection to the gay community is a key part of who I am.

I think that, like it or not, those of us that have a public profile have a sense of having to be better just to be good enough. You cant be just another person. There aren’t enough queer people in the media in order to just disappear and not make an impression and not make a positive impression on the airwaves. I don’t regard myself as a role model, but whatever positive presence I can present I can, and if I’m here then there’s room for other people like me to be here as well, and if that’s the only message that I can put out there then I’m happy with that.

We’ve come such a long way, but I would like to reach a point where it becomes more ordinary. We shouldn’t just be noticed when it’s Mardi Gras, or have someone be noted as our first gay something or other. I don’t want my gayness to be the main thing that people define me by. I want to reach a point where a person’s gender or sexuality is present, but unremarkable.

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[skybird13]

I think the thing holding me back the most in regards to whether I'll continue rwby or not is Qrow. Just the fact that crwby never intended him to be read as a queer man even though they baited him and Clover so hard is just going to make me so upset if he ever gets a female love interest. We'll have to see the flirting all over again except this time it will be between a man and a woman and of course you're supposed to read that as romantic, but the two dudes flirting? Nope. Total bros.

Heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, anon, I’m sorry to say.

The number of levels on which CRWBY screwed this up is absolutely fucking astounding. My brother and I were talking about this whole mess last night. We were both enjoying volume 7 quite a bit. It had some plot holes and pacing issues and inconsistencies, but those were all things I could overlook or at least deal with. They only have so much time to tell the story, after all, and nothing is perfect. But how exactly do you manage to completely destroy something that was fairly decent over the span of a single episode? The mind reels. 

What’s even more frightening? They could easily screw this up further by doing exactly what you said.

At the risk of sounding like a “petty shipper” (which is an invalidating accusation people need to stop throwing around, especially in this case), giving Qrow any other love interest at this point would be, in my opinion, completely unbelievable on a narrative level and in very poor taste. I’ve heard speculation that we’re over half-way through the series at this point, and I’m sorry, but CRWBY just doesn’t have the time to bring Qrow through this hell they just dumped him in, take him into yet another healing arc, and get him to a place where it’s feasible that he would get close to anyone.

They had the perfect set-up, perfect timing, and the perfect person right there in Clover (not to mention the ideal opportunity for a completely badass mlm couple) and they threw it away with a level of callousness that still comes as a shock to the system. Pairing him up with anyone else at all (but especially shoving him into a het relationship without even exploring his bisexuality) would just be salt in the wound, and I fully agree that if I catch even a whiff of that, I will be gone and I won’t look back. I suppose it’s possible they might pull some Adam/Shiro/random-dude-post-story marriage bullshit, which would only be preferable in the sense that at least we wouldn’t have to watch it play out? But I definitely hear you. CRWBY completely wrecked Qrow in episode 12. I don’t see how he comes out of this healthy, much less capable of being in any sort of relationship within the time frame that remains in the series.

I want Qrow to be happy more than anyone. CRWBY apparently disagrees with me. At least, that’s how it’s looking right now. 

If you’re worried about it but still tempted to watch volume 8, you can always do what I’m doing. Someone I trust (my brother) is going to watch as the episodes drop, let me know what happens, and if it goes in a direction I’m not good with, I’ll just ditch the show altogether. Regardless, unless he comes running out of his room screaming that Clover is alive, I won’t be watching episodes as they drop again. That got to be a little too much for me. So if we come upon volume 8 and you’re curious, you can always shoot me another ask or just keep an eye on my blog. I’d be happy to give you my opinion one way or the other. 

I hope you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself, anon. None of this should be happening but at the very least we have each other for support.

Thanks for the ask!  

[trishyeves]

Poorly Planned Halo Post

TO START WITH: SPOILERS FOR ALL OF YOUNG JUSTICE SEASON 3, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT. NOT PLANNING ON SPOILING THE WHOLE SEASON, BUT WHO KNOWS WHERE THIS WILL GO

So, because my brain is weirdly cyclical and I’ve randomly gotten back into Young Justice, I’ve been trolling through Tumblr regarding the show. In doing so, I’ve run into a lot of posts that deal with Halo, and they inspired me to write this poorly planned, probably a trainwreck post.

Before I say anything else, I feel like I should make something clear: people react to media really differently (obviously), especially if the material is personal to them in some way. For a lot of people what was done with Halo is season 3 of Young Justice isn’t just hard to watch, it was a travesty that completely ruined the show for them. That is totally fine. I would never pretend I have the authority to tell people if they should or shouldn’t be outraged by something, or mediate their reaction to a show. This is all just a splattering of my thoughts and feelings on this messy as hell lump of topics. If you read this and think my point of view is bullshit and hate what I have to say, I can totally understand why. This is just my two cents, as someone who is genderfluid/non-binary and queer. (Though I am not a person of color, I do not identify as a woman, and I have no connection to the Muslim faith.)

To start with the smaller issues: how Halo does at representing nonbinary people, women of color, Muslim people, and Bisexual/Pansexual/Queer people. I 100% agree that they could have done better in all of those departments, full-stop. In the scene establishing her as nonbinary, it would have been much better if they had established what pronouns she prefers (I’m using she/her throughout because that is what is used in the text and she/her nonbinary people are valid), how she wants to be seen, and it should have been brought up more often. The fact her only brush being interested in a girl/feminine person was a kiss that made her feel guilty for cheating on her boyfriend sucks, as it conflates her kissing Harper with shame. I don’t really feel qualified to wade into the area surrounding the portrayal of her wearing a hijab or the fact that she wasn’t really Muslim, Gabrielle was, but I have heard a lot of people’s thoughts on those topics, and I think they’re important to hear and consider.

On all of those points, I don’t think it’s possible to not consider them at least partial failures. That said, I do appreciate the attempt to give us this intersectional character who can be so many different pieces of representation at once while also being a lovable and well-developed character. I know for a lot of people the failings of her portrayal invalidate any good will their attempts at representation could have fostered, but that’s not how I feel about it.

Onto the big thing: Halo dying, graphically, a lot. It is, to say the very least, a bad look. A lot of people are upset about the fact that one of the handful of queer characters on the show, a woman of color, one who is associated with the Muslim faith, is shown being violently killed episode after episode. They have every right to be. I find it pretty abhorrent too.

It was a bad idea, a really bad idea. BUT I also don’t think it taints the entire show, and I don’t think it signifies that the people creating the show wanted to show women/queer people/poc dying graphically. That was the effect, but I highly doubt malice, sadism, or bigotry was the direct cause.

From here on out, I am talking based on my understanding of worldbuilding, character writing, television production, and what I know about the development of this show in particular. But I am not an insider with special knowledge of what went down behind the scenes, and I could be totally full of shit on a number of points.

First off, Halo is basically a completely original character. The Outsiders comic series had a Halo character who was also a gestalt entity created by a being related to the Source taking over a dead woman’s body, but from what I can tell on the whole they have little to do with her. They made the decision to change her host body’s nationality to Quaraci, probably for better representation, and changed the entity in her body into a Mother Box’s soul, which I am fairly sure was to tie her in better to the overall season’s New Gods focus, the same way they did with altering Cyborg’s origin story.

Second, they changed some of her powers, but one of the ones they kept was the idea of healing and being able to resurrect herself from death. Now, the only way to really make that work in a visual medium is for her to die sometimes, then resurrect. That does create a weird narrative element, since no other characters get badly injured/fatally wounded at the rate Halo does, but it’s a way to show her using her abilities. Of course, a lot of people have said, rightly, that there’s no need for those deaths to be so graphic. They could have been off-screen, or hinted at, or a number of other things. If the season was aired on Cartoon Network, as was originally planned, I am certain that’s what they would have done.

Thirdly, and this is the big one, I am fairly sure the decision to make her deaths as graphic as possible was tied in with it being aired on DC Universe. Sure, the platform means they could do it, but I also think it’s related to why they did it. It’s possible that Greg Weisman wanted to show off some gore thanks to the liberties granted him, but I think the more likely option is this was studio interference. They looked at the audience Young Justice had developed, one that tended heavily towards older teens and adults, and made it a condition for the show being brought back on the new streaming service that they needed to up the age rating of the show itself to match. Specifically, they probably requested more violence and for it to be more gratuitous where possible. After all, this is DC, and we all know how much they adore making things far more graphic and violent than they have any right to be, all for the sake of making their properties look more ‘grown up’.

Now, clearly some of that violence went to other characters. Victor Stone’s transformation into Cyborg is easily the most gruesome version of that story yet, and several characters throughout get pretty terrible deaths. (Baron Bedlam, for example.) But Halo got the brunt of them. After all, they needed to have more violence on the regular, but Greg Weisman hates killing characters, especially in this show. It’s a huge sandbox with as many DC characters from various eras as they can possibly fit inside it, so they don’t want heroes or villains dying when they don’t need to. But they do have this main character, one who can die again and again and again, and who can come back every time. So, Halo became a gore magnet.

I’d also wager that her being non-binary was a late addition to her character, something they only threw in as a scene once they realized that, as a living machine in a human corpse, there was no reason for her to have an attachment to any gender, and when they realized they could use that to bump up their LGBTQ+ representation, they did the scene.

None of this makes what they did good, or right, or acceptable. It still isn’t. I really, really wish it hadn’t been in the show, it turns my stomach. But at the same time, I don’t think they wrote that element for the season in an attempt to sadistically torture a marginalized character. They absolutely should have hired some sensitivity writers to look things over and catch these things, and I hope the controversy all this caused means they’ll be more careful in the future. But I am still happy they created Halo as they did and gave her to us as a fanbase, even with those disgusting death scenes. If Season 4 does actually happen, I think there is a chance they’ll have heard our voices and work to do better. This is a case where ignorance, rather than cruelty, was the cause, at least from what I can see. If you still hate that part of the show, or the show itself, I’m not expecting this to change your mind, and I don’t want it to. I just wanted to throw out my thoughts, before I collapse into sleep from a long shift at work.