#it's very nervewracking to talk about just bc of how personal it all is but i'm not like opposed to discussing it

[faggotry-enjoyer]

wait are you planning on converting to Judaism?? :000

Yup! Set myself a soft deadline to reach out to one of the shuls near me by the end of spring break so I should be talking to a rabbi fairly soon, though it'll be a minute until I can officially officially start. But yes, I'm planning to.

[babysizedfics]

jamal visiting for dinner

jam came to the house for dinner on wednesday evening and it was his first time meeting the family

note this is kinda bad formatting n grammar bc i just copy pasted me n livs messages again

also i accidentally swore but its hard finding all of them 😭 sorry

its bc roman is getting kinda homesick going to jamals all the time and they all agreed to it - vee agreed to but shes not obligated to join dinner, the plan is she will have dinner earlier and she can hang out wherever she wants but will prob stay in her room except for just a wave

bc roman wants jamal to be able to come to his house too but they have to get the meet the family bit done first

hes gonna bring them flowers and wine WAAH what a gentleman

imagine jamal cracks a joke at dinner and logan chokes on his /wine abhsjsjs

hes so stoic until that one joke he loses it

AWAAHSHHSHAHS AND EVERY FEW MINUTES HE HAS A CHUCKLE FIt BC HE KEES REMEMBERING THE JOKE

and later even after jamal is gone and patton and lo are in bed tigether and reading then lo just atarts giggling and patton laughsand is like "are you still thinking abt the joke?" and logan just is red faced silent laughing and nodding his head

Aaawwww roman texting jamal the next morning saying logan is STILL laughing at his joke and jam is like :D !!!!!

liv: awww god how did i forget that jamal is literally a comedian. his job is to make people warm up to him and entertain them

ESPECIALLY BC logan isn;t like shy but he;s not prne to excessive chit chat like patton might be so like jamal just cant get a read on him, if he;s disapproving or judging him in some way, oh god what if the wine is bad-

but then he just drops one random remark and logan snorts JASHDGSHJK

HSHSH this is it actually yeah bc he LOOKS serious and hes tall ppl think his quietness is judgy and intimidating but hes just not very talkative and doesnt have much energy to host a dinner party, hes just generally introverted

like he is very polite and he can talk to people perfectly well and friendly but when ita an extended meeting he will go quiet and just talk to patton and ppl think its bc he doesnt like them but its bc logan is a lil tired and just finds energy in being with his partner

yea it was even hust a nervous joke hshshjs just a remark on smth that was funny bc thats his way of coping with nerves but behshs logan fuckin loved it

it wasnt HILARIOUS but logans reaction made it a hundred times funnier that everyone was laughing

they were all laughing so much that they were all laughing and logan had tears in his eyes and pattons cheeks were rosy and roman was leaning against jamal a lil

AND THEN WAAHHH then lil vee tiptoes in the doorway and patton notices her and goes "oh hi sweetie" thru his lughter trying to hold it back and b gentle,

and jamal and roman look back to see vee standing rlly nervous in the doorway and roman gives her a lil smile and thumbs up in encouragement and patton carries on "were we being a little loud honey?"

and vee shakes her head silently and jus tiptoes in to quickly stand by pattons chair and give him a hug - partly to hide her face away from jamal

and logan taks to jam and roman to pull the attention way from vee a lil and after just a minute or so of pstton hugging vees waist and swaying her a lil and whispering smth no one else could hear, then vee turns around a lil and chews faer fingernail and waits for lo and jam to stop talking

and when jam looks at faer he smiles and says hi, you're vee right?

and fae squeezes pattons hand rlly tight and doesnt look away from pats fingers but fae nods

and jamal just says its lovely to meet faer, roman talks about faer very highly

and vee smiles a lil but she doednt know how to respond so she gets nervous and tugs pats hand and patton whispers "its okay honey, if you want to go uostairs again you can." but vee pauses and pat smiles "i'll come up with you okay?"

and as pat and vee walk out hand in hand then vee pauses a lil on the way to wave at jamal and then hurriedly leave again blushing and hiding behind patton

but jamal is like SCORE OMG bc roman was like it might take a few visits for vee to actually interact but vee made an effort bc she knows how much jamal means to her big bro .....

thats her way of interacting when she cant interact, she just exists in the same space to prove she isnt hiding from them

and its like she likes hearing how the new person talks so that in future shes more prepared for what itll be like to interact with them WAAHH MAYBE LOGAN KNEW THAT THATS WHY HE ASKS JAMAL A QEUSTION

liv: ahhhhhhh also the way jamal like doesn't ask her lts of questions but ALSO doesn't just ignore her

like he sees her effort and he's returning the interest and not being overwhelming and WAHHH

vee was so brave for coming down and the interaction went well and waaah

did patton stay up w her for a while or just to help her get settled again?

YES jamal already knows a bit abt vee from roman so he knows she wont be verbal with him for a while so he knows not to ask questions

i think patton went upstairs with vee knowing that she probably needed a hug bc she was overwhelmed and missed her family, and also after she waves patton is CERTAIN shes gonna regress as soon as thwyre upstairs bc that is nervewracking for her but hes gonna give her so much baby talk praise for it!

[dilfbatman]

Hi I’m the Patrochilles fashion style anon, thank u for ur answer!! I loved it (especially Achilles in athleisure or crop tops and Patroclus with glasses) :,) Since we both love modern AUs, how do you imagine their first meeting as college students? (I live for Achilles pining after Patroclus hehe)

OMFG THIS IS SUCH A CUTE QUESTION & I AM V EXCITED TO COME UP W SOME STUFF!! :’)

—

- i think it’s during orientation they they first like catch a glimpse of each other and achilles sees pat fully paying attention to the speaker w his hands cupping his chin and he looks so soft and beautiful & he quickly looks up bc he can feel eyes on him and pat sees achilles and he’s like wow that’s one insanely beautiful guy and their eyes meet for a second before they both blush and look away

- pat was wearing his gold rimmed glasses w clear lenses and his cream sweater and plaid brown trousers and achilles was wearing his school track team hoodie and sweats with his hair in a baby pink scrunchie (both look insanely adorable this is A Fact)

- and then the assembly ends and pat is waiting for people to get up so he doesn’t have to deal w the rush and achilles is obviously the first one up and tries to get to the floor and somehow introduce himself to pat without seeming like a weirdo and for some reason he’s really nervous? and there’s a huge crowd now and he can’t see pat and it’s like a sea of people and he feels kinda deflated but he promises himself that he WILL eventually meet the boy

- also they barely saw each other around campus and if they did it would be in passing and only one of them would be looking - the other would be busy/wasn’t paying attention until after the person left and they have a lingering feeling in their hearts like they just missed something but they can’t pinpoint it

- and then it isn’t until a semester later that they FINALLY have a class together! the class they have together is classics/greek myth and pat like the star pupil he is was already sitting there - glasses on, stationary & notebook out, soft black sweater w his favorite jean jacket that’s adorned w pins + patches <3 and achilles walks in and stops in his tracks bc !!!!! there’s the beautiful boy and there’s his chance and yes it’s frowned upon to sit next to people when there’s ample seating available but achilles has no shame and plops himself right next to patroclus with his hand held out and saying “hi! i’m achilles. what’s your name?”

- and pat is like ??? pretty boy who i see some of the time is sitting next to ME ??? and he sees achilles w his hair down wearing a spearmint green hoodie that matches his eyes and he has the biggest smile on his face w a slight blush and his eyes twinkle but are also like... palpably nervous and pat notices that his hand is out and that he’s talking to him so he stutters and says “hi, my name is patroclus - nice to meet you!”

- and both of their hands are warm and soft and it feels as if their hands were made for each other :’) pat feels the cold of achilles’ ring on his hands and achilles feels the cold of pat’s gold bracelet on the tips of his fingers and they’re just both noticing all these little things and their hearts are both racing and they give each other a very warm smile

- and throughout the class they’re both just trying to get kinda closer to each other - like pat’s arm is more closer to achilles while he’s taking notes and achilles feet are like right next to pat’s and he “accidentally” hits pat’s boots so he can touch his arm and whisper a “sorry!” and pat is like “you’re fine!” and achilles makes dorky jokes under his breath that pat rolls his eyes at while trying not to laugh

- and during class the professor says to write down 3 people’s names + numbers in the syllabus so the kids don’t bother him w a bunch of questions and immediately achilles is like “let’s exchange numbers... i mean we’re right next to each other & you seem super smart so this is kinda great!” and pat is like “sure! here you go!” and writes in his pink pen on achilles’ syllabus and achilles is just like !!!!! he didn’t even have to go through the nervewracking feat of asking for pat’s number bc his teacher just did that for him LMAO

- and class ends and they both walk out together while talking about some random things and achilles gives patroclus a pat on the back and is like “patroclus, i have a feeling we’re gonna be great friends.” and pat smiles and is like “me too.” :’) and they’re both Soft and their eyes are lost in each other’s for a bit before achilles gets called to go to his track meet and he quips a quick goodbye to pat but not before running backwards and yelling at pat to “COME TO MY MEET SOMETIME!” with a wink and pat is like “YEAH SURE okay just text me details!” and achilles is like ;) “I WILL!” and they’re both blushing and pat gives a kind wave and achilles gives one back and they both turn around and they have the BIGGEST SMILE on their face w a blush and you can see the LIGHT in their eyes :’)

AHHH they’re so cute and this makes me wanna make a tsoa modern!au college fic <3 hehe thanks so much for the fun ask! lemme know if you want more & sorry this ends early i just KNOW i would make this WAY too long hehe

[rohdutch]

Interrupted pt. 2

Pairing: Elias Samson x reader

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: lots of feelings of the upcoming wedding day, mainly elias'

A/N: uh. I honest to God do not remember how long ago I wrote this but I just randomly found it in my drafts and I think I had originally wanted to add more to it but never did? But I reread it and I kinda like it as is so I'm gonna leave it alone and not edit. God, it's been so long, but here we go ig (also shout-out to past me for already linking part one bc present me did not feel up to searching for it lmao)

Tag list: (im just tagging who I remember) @team-elias @sixdegreesofsamson @sophiagriff @calwitch @thirstiswet @logicstates12

Part One

-

"How do they fit?"

"Perfect. What about yours?"

Elias stood up and took a few steps, getting used to the feel of the shoes he'd be wearing for the wedding. He shrugged. "They'll take some getting used to, but they feel good."

You let out a soft sigh, smiling as you walked over to Elias, your heels making soft 'thumps' against the carpet of your bedroom. "Great," you breathed out, running your hands down his clothed chest, "finally something for this wedding works out on the first try."

Elias couldn't help but smile at that, reaching out to wrap his arms around you and pull you to him, resting his head into the crook of your neck. You were right, and he was grateful for at least one thing working out so far, even if it was something as small and simple as your wedding shoes fitting perfectly the first time you tried them on.

Elias had originally thought that planning the wedding would be easy—not extremely easy, but more so than things he had experienced before. Instead, planning your wedding had become one of his worst nightmares. He could say, without a doubt, it had been one of the hardest things he'd ever done and he was grateful that in a few days it would be over. He had been counting down the days until your wedding with a burst of happiness every time he could cross off a day. Now, it was almost time for not only the two of you to be done with planning your wedding, but also for the two of you to finally get married after so long.

The whole process had been tedious and long, full of too many problems to count. Elias had been fully prepared to throw himself into planning, ready to tackle the whole thing with you and the very large binder you had filled with tons of different wedding things, all neatly organized. At first, things went as planned and everything came together pretty well. It wasn't until it was time to start really setting things up—figuring out venues, decorations, your dress and his tux—when things began to get chaotic.

Suddenly, the two of you were running around everywhere, calling back when the venue you wanted had been double-booked and you had to find somewhere else and when the dress you had picked out had magically disappeared when it was sent out to be adjusted. The invitations you had picked out had gotten lost in the mail after being sent out, the caterer quitting after everything for dinner had already been decided. It seemed that everything that could go wrong did go wrong and Elias felt terrible most of the time when he had to leave for work, leaving you with the messiness that had become your wedding preparations.

Slowly, though, everything started to come together. Things were figured out, and thank god, your dress was found and actually came back fitting perfectly.

Now, with a few days left before the wedding, Elias was glad that at least one thing had worked out so easily, especially after the chaos that had been the rest of the planning process. And even though this one thing had worked out on the first try, he wasn't convinced that the next few days before the wedding would turn out the same.

-

Elias watched you move around the room, grabbing different things as you went and dropping them off on the bed where he was sitting next to a suitcase, carefully packing everything you grabbed. There was two more days until your wedding and so far, nothing else had gone wrong since the two of you had broke in your wedding shoes. Elias wanted to let himself relax in what seemed to be another easy two days before the wedding—two days where all you would be doing is packing for your honeymoon—but he couldn't seem to let the tension in his shoulders out. He was paranoid that something else would go wrong; something was bound to go wrong. He was sure of it.

"Will you at least try to relax?"

Elias looked up to see that you had stopped moving around the room and were now standing in front of him, your hands placed firmly on your hips. "What?"

"Relax," you said slowly, "I want you to relax. Just for a little bit, please? I'd like for my future husband to not be so tense on our wedding day."

Elias let out a light laugh at that, and he rolled his shoulders back in an attempt to appear somewhat loosened up even though he still felt entirely too paranoid. "Better?"

"No." You smiled at him as you moved to sit in his lap, looping your arms around his shoulders. "I know you're still not relaxed, but thank you for trying," you told him, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I've tried to relax, it's just-"

"After everything we've gone through with planning, you're worried something else is going to go wrong?" you asked, and Elias' shoulders dropped as he nodded. "Honey, I know. I'm a little worried too, y'know, but soon it'll all be over and we'll be married and go on a nice honeymoon where I'll get to spoil you for a week straight. At least then we won't have to worry about anything for a while."

"Sounds wonderful." And Elias meant it. He thought that he might actually be a little more excited for the honeymoon rather than the actual wedding (but maybe that had something to do with the fact that the honeymoon had taken a lot less planning than the wedding).

"Alright, c'mon," you said with a sudden enthusiasm, "two more days before we're outta here for a week so we have to finish these bags up by tomorrow."

Elias nodded and smiled as you began moving around the room again, grabbing everything the two of you would need for you week-long adventure.

-

Elias looked down at his polished shoes. Today was the day, and even though he thought that the day he asked you to marry him had been the most nervewracking day of his life, his mind had quickly been changed when he woke up that morning.

The only day more nervewracking than the day he proposed to you, he decided, was today—the day he was going to marry you. And the fact that there had already been so many problems today only added to his nerves.

So far, in just that morning, the chairs for the ceremony had run short, one of the rings had been lost (only to be found hidden under a couch a short while later), and now the main concern was the supposed oncoming rain.

Elias was not only nervous, he was frustrated. He thought that after all the rigorous planning he and you would get to have a nice little wedding, one that both of you could easily enjoy, but now the two of you were running around trying to calm at least a little bit of the mayhem.

Elias sighed as he stood, brushing his hands over his suit. He hadn't wanted anything too extravagent when it came to his wedding outfit, but he did at least want something that would be memorable.

You had been more than happy to help Elias get exactly what he wanted with his suit, while still making sure that you never saw the actual outfit. ("It's bad luck to see each other in our wedding outfits before the ceremony," you had told him from the very beginning, even though the two of you had already seen each other's wedding shoes.)

The suit was fairly simple in design, the jacket and pants a casual black; it was the shirt that pulled the entire outfit together. The shirt, one that had been specially made for Elias per request, was a crisp white with a simple black and white flower design along the collar and the ends of the sleeves that cuffed over the ends of the jacket sleeves. It was easy to believe that the flower designs were what pulled the whole thing together.

With one last brush of his clothes, Elias left the room and made for the one down the hall, the one he knew you were getting ready in. He knew about the tradition you wanted to keep, but he didn't have any plans on actually seeing you now before the ceremony. He only wanted to speak to you beforehand.

Just as he reached the door, raising a fist to knock, it opened and your sister appeared in the doorway, clearly about to leave the room.

She only held a look of shock for a moment before looking back and shutting the door partially, most likely to make sure neither he or you saw one another. "You're not supposed to see each other before the ceremony," she scolded quietly, looking back to Elias.

"I know. I just want to talk to her before we begin everything," Elias explained and your sister's face softened.

"Okay," she said, sliding back into the room for a moment. He could hear her talking to you, but didn't know what was being said. A second later, your sister reappeared, this time leaving the room with the door cracked a bit. "If you two see each other before you go down that aisle, I'll personally kick both your asses."

Elias smiled and nodded, watching as your sister walk away. Once she was gone, he heard rustling from inside the room, and then your voice.

"Lias?"

You were right on the other side of the door, he realized. It would be so easy for him to push it open and see you all dolled up for your big day, but he resisted that urge. "Hey, honey."

"God, it's so good to hear your voice," you breathed out, " today has been so chaotic and knowing that you were here the whole time and I couldn't see you really sucked."

"Well," Elias found himself brushing up against the door, but not enough to open it, "whose fault is that?"

"I know," you groaned. "It's tradition, though. And I don't think we need anymore bad luck."

Elias could hear someone down the hall worrying out loud about the weather report. "We definitely don't need that."

Elias jumped slightly when he felt the door shift a bit, thinking you were about to forget everything you said about traditions and open the door, but it only cracked open enough for you to stick your hand out. Without hesitation, he grabbed it and squeezed.

"I'm sorry, Eli," you spoke softly, "I know this whole thing has been hard and just, so, so chaotic, but we're almost there."

Almost there, Elias thought as you gripped his hand tightly. The two of you were so close, almost to the end of all of this and the beginning of something new, something hopefully less chaotic.

"Almost there," you repeated.

"Almost there," Elias echoed.

[flying-elliska]

Hii Ellie. This is kind of a personal question and it’s totally okay if you don’t answer it. How did you come to terms with your sexuality? How or when did you know you were bi? I know that it’s not about putting tags on people or anything like that, it’s just that I’ve kind of been struggling with it and it’d be nice to read your experience if you want to share it

Ooooh anon do you have three hours ? lol. Of course I want to talk about it if it can help anyone even a little. 

The tl;dr is : in stages, I struggled a lot, and bi characters were super important to me. 

So I think as a kid/teen I always had this vague notion that ladies were very pretty, but I was not a lesbian bc I liked boys too much, and besides I had these horrible ideas in my mind about queerness being immature and yucky, it was bad. I think I pretty much did have crushes on several of my girl friends but I just didn’t understand that’s what it was, just super intense friendship and being jealous when they got boyfriends hmmmm. Also my ‘fashion folder’ was full of pics of Keira Knightley in a tank top, cause that’s the height of fashion, am I right. I also wrote a letter to a girl I met at camp telling her her voice was so soft and eyes were beautiful and full of stars...do you wanna be friends ? Lol I was so obvious I swear, but it’s funnier in hindsight. 

Then when I was 18 I met this older girl in my circle of friends who was bisexual and I thought it was really cool, but I didn’t really connect the dots. I am ashamed to say, I thought she was saying that to give herself a vibe. 

Then when I was 19 i bingewatched the series Torchwood  ( a Doctor Who spinoff) and it felt like an absolute revelation. Jack Harkness, the MC, is this incredible badass rogue time travelling adventurer from the future who charms women and men left and right without any issue about it. (I think he’s...omnisexual or something ?) But this is the first time I saw the possibility of being attracted to multiple genders as something that’s actually valid. Seems silly now but this was almost 10 yrs ago, lol. It was the dark ages in terms of queer rep back then. And it’s such an integral part of Jack’s character, and he’s just so cool and it really struck a chord with me, this idea that in the future anyone can love whoever they want. There was the idea of a society that is founded on those principles, and well, I am very political in nature I guess, and i was like. yes. i can see it now. but it remained theorethical. 

Then the year after that, Erasmus exchange and I meet this girl. Like, it was bam! in your face, I fell head over heels. Now, tbh, I don’t get attracted to people all that often, but when it came to her it was absolutely indeniable. Now, she was already with someone else, so we remained just friends and it did suck a little, but I’m not sad, because it taught me a lot about myself (and she was just such a cool person in general I’m glad I met her). I just couldn’t get past it, yeah she was cool and stuff but I didn’t just want to be her friend, I was attracted to her, I daydreamed about being in a couple with her, doing romantic stuff, etc. And it was super validating to learn she was also bi a little later down the line (she was such goals in general, god.) So then after that I was like...um am I a lesbian ? Like I do have a lot of issues with men. And so I spent a lot of time having this wishy washy thing in my head.  Also that year, I was in Amsterdam taking all those gender studies classes. And it opened up my mind in a radical way - learning about queer history, the fact that sexualities are socially constructed, feminism, activism, etc etc....it allowed me to let go of a lot of my crappy internalized prejudices. I also wrote an essay on burlesque with in field research because i ‘liked the costumes’ yeahhhh right okay. The levels of denial oh my god. ANyway. 

Then i got really, really into Supernatural for a while (sigh...it was better back then, I have to say). This was s8 and the high moment of the ‘let’s prove Dean Winchester is bi’ meta palooza on tumblr. And spending so much time hunting for clues and reading so much about people explaining their own experiences of being bisexual and not realizing it until later I was like....wait a minute....That’s just so me. Dean probs will never come out of the closet, because they’re cowards, but I certainly did, so yay, I guess. I looked over my past and I was finally able to understand. I wrote the meta of my own life. Lmao. And I was able to come out to one of my friends on the phone. I felt so fucking powerful afterwards. Then to a few other friends. And it felt good. 

Then I came back to Amsterdam and I was like, alright, time to stop being a coward and actually get involved in some real life LGBT stuff. So I joined a student association and man. It was so fucking scary. I remember, they had this meet up at a bar every month, and I actually went twice, and every time I just was too nervous to actually go inside, i stood in front of it, and I went home. So in the end I actually signed up to be a member and for the integration day, so I just forced myself to show up. And I did. It was so incredibly nervewracking. I met up with a group of students holding up a rainbow flag in front of the central station and we had these series of challenges to do - take a pic with a rainbow flag in front of one of those bible thumpers, stage a harry potter duel in public, order a starbucks drink with the name ‘Vagina Jensens’, mimick the titanic scene where they’re on the edge of the boat...it was so silly and fun and everyone was so nervous in the end, it was awesome. I ended up on the newsletter committee of that association and I had a blast, interviewing people, writing book reviews, etc...I did have complexes though, that everyone was more cool and gay aware than me lol. But it still did a lot for me and helped me come out to my family. (at a restaurant for my 25th birthday because i am a drama queen lol.). At the same time it was very...mainstream gay frat house lol. Focused on partying and drinking and being sociable in a way that can be exhausting to me, and a little light on the politics, which has always been important to me. After that I volunteered for the Eurobicon as I spoke about earlier and it was so important to me, that being bisexual is such a worthy identity to have in itself and important to me beyond being just queer, it was really cool. 

I’m not totally there yet I guess, because I find relationships in general difficult, it’s been a while, I often feel like i don’t have enough experience to call myself bi, I’m nerdy and awkward, I don’t fit the cliché of the seductive bisexual, etc etc. i sometimes think that i’m a little bit on the ace spectrum too or at least demisexual because i don’t seem to be into people as often as most of my friends, and even then it’s very emotionally-focused. I also feel very weird about gender in general so that’s also a whole other thing. And my brain is wonky and i feel it interacts with all that.  I still have moments of ‘oh what if i’m actually a lesbian ! straight ! ace !’ looool.

But less now. I’m learning to let myself just...Be. ahahahahaah. And also I have more and more bi friends and that helps a lot, to just randomly swoon over multigendered celebrities and learn to be very casual about it. 

Anyway my point is. I included all those messy (kinda embarassing) details because : getting to terms with your sexuality is fucking hard. The wow i figured it out young and then came out and it was great thing ? still not for everyone. I think a key part is, we grow up with these ideals of the perfect life, of what it means to be the protagonist of your life - and most of the time still it involves hetero couple, marriage, babies - and to look beyond that, for a while, it feels like you’re going off track, disqualifying yourself. So it’s hard. Sometimes you actually need several moments of revelation, of it sinking in. It’s fine, it’s all fine. You’ll get there. No pressure. Don’t try to fit your story into a certain pattern. It’s yours, so it’s valid. 

[johobi]

Let me preface this by saying I'm team JK all the way! Let me tell you why my dear JoJo (can I call you JoJo?). I don't blame Tae for having sex with OC. It was a heat of the moment thing. Def not a good decision in the long run bc it really just IS a heat of the moment thing. She was hurt and feeling nostalgic so she went back to the one thing back then that made her feel better. She clearly needed more time to process everything that happened and you said it yourself, JK is still 1/? -SK

You can ofc call me Jojo (just don’t add Siwa pls my hairline isn’t that pressed)!!!! It was definitely a heat of the moment thing, but the question is, was it a heat of the moment thing that allowed emotions to surface that needed voicing?! Would it have happened any other way? If it ends up playing out that it was, indeed, right for both of them, then it was worth it. If it wasn’t what they needed… maybe it could still be good? Maybe those feelings needed airing anyway? Or perhaps it will all be one, big catastrophe?!

((more under read more))

in her head space. Her feelings for him haven’t left she’s just pushing them aside so she can be comforted by Tae. So that explains why them fucking wasn’t a good choice for them but what redeems JK? Nothing. BUT. He so earnestly wants to fix things and is so dead set on hearing him out that it’s hard to not want to. What he did was bad real bad but he genuinely seems like he wants to fix it and even from an objective standpoint it’s best to here all sides of the story. I’m not saying 2/? -SK

I’m actually really glad that most of you guys want to hear Kook out. It would be hard to pull off the rest of the story if it were a case of you being like ‘whatever his reason, I don’t care. I don’t want to hear it’. That kind of potential reaction to the fic was nervewracking. If your readership reacts waaay differently to how you’re expecting, how the hell do you salvage a fic that late in the game?! wljwalkj Well, I guess you finish it regardless, and hope people just find some merit in the journey somewhere. I’m going off on a tangent, but, yes, there’s something in the way that Jungkook pursues her relentlessly and with sincerity that wants you want to hear him out. And we will!! Next chapter. :)

him hiding his engagement was ok but if OC does talk to him maybe she could get some closure. She seems like an insecure person by nature and immediately blamed herself (only a little) for JK’s actions so she really should talk to him. Also! I refuse to believe JK is a bad person! He’s helped her so much with her depression and general sadness and if he was able to sway OC once from Tae, he can do it again. Plus another anon made a good point in the fact that JK is her future and Tae is -3/? SK

Definitely, definitely, she needs to talk to him if for nothing other than to realise that it wasn’t her fault. Still, the notion of being cheated on will likely always sow a seed of inferiority. Even if his reasons are pure, will her trust in him recover? It’s taken her so long to open up to him.

her past. Tae may be her past home but JK is her present. Even when smth happens in your present home you don’t go back to your past. Even if it’s vacant. Bc the life around that home has changed and moved on and the only reason you’d come back is to reminisce. But there’s no reminiscing when nothings the same. You’d just make yourself sad wishing things were how they once were. So, the only thing you can do is hope that you can have a better and brighter future. Even if it’s bleak rn. 4/? -SK

I’d actually argue that Tae is her past and present, and Jungkook is also her present. Tae very much exists in the present for her, though perhaps not as idealised. They both have the potential to be her future. It’s just a matter of whether Y/N and Tae’s relationship can bloom into something new, because it can’t survive in the mold of their past relationship. Their platonic connection has been snapped now. 

But it is a huge point that Y/N is very reliant on escaping to the past when troubled, and not engaging with her present (and especially her future). I think she wanted to bring the comfort that Tae provided back then, into the present, and in a more intense form. At first, without knowing his feelings, she just wants to ‘forget’, and therefore seeks to at least have the comfort of his body. When he reciprocates, tho, it totally catches her off-guard and she’s able to find comfort for her heart as well. omg i’m rambling and this probably doesn’t make sense. I wish I could be more succinct about this haha!

But yeah, home, past, childhood - these are all things of comfort and safety (for her, at least). Whether it’s unhelpfully circular/stagnating, we’ll just have to see.

Ahh sorry to get faux deep on you! But anyways TEAM JK ALL THE WAY. Also I don’t why I find the idea of Jimin sitting alone and bored in Tae’s apartment so funny. Realy excited to see THAT interaction. Also excited to see JK reacting to the hickeys and the JK and Tae confrontation. I love torturing myself RIP. ALSO ALSO that last line GOT ME. I don’t undertand how you can set up an entire 18k chp. to put so much emotion and narrative behind ONE LINE. WOw you’re such a great writer. Ily💜 5/5 -SK

Not at all hun!!! I loved reading your thoughts on it all :D! AND YES JIMIN SITTING ALONE IN TAE’S FLAT IS A HILARIOUS IMAGE. They’re gonna trundle in all lovebitten and tousled and he’d just gonna be watching shitty daytime TV (sober) like, ‘..tf you been?? ARE THOSE HICKE–’ you get the idea haha. 

Thank you so much love, for your lovely asks and your unfaltering support/encouragement!!! I appreciate you sm!!!

[embracingwild]

Hi I have a question about sexual harassment at work, if its too much you dont have to answer. Over the summer I worked at a place where the manager who was in his 40s was really creepy. He would say a lot of stuff to me that made me uncomfortable & he would do things (grab me, surprise me, wrap his legs around me) that were inappropriate. I was 17. While it really bothered me I didnt really know how to react bc he liked me & its so dumb but I knew he would give me a good recommendation 1/?

(continued) so I didnt want to upset him so I would usually smile & go along with it. I wasnt the only person he harassed and no one really liked him, but it didnt seem to bother other people as much (they would make jokes about it). I wanted to talk to the HR for our restaurant to tell her what was happening, but my therapist said I should pull Mike aside directly and just tell him. My therapist said he would be more upset if I went over his head like that. But I couldnt imagine telling him directly Because he had a temper sometimes and on occasion had made me beg for a day off to the point where I was crying & had made other girls cry too. So I was too afraid to talk to him directly, but it seemed like my therapist thought talking to HR wasnt a good idea, so I just did nothing. Anyways, I dont work there anymore, but I just feel so guilty for not saying anything. And I still feel really upset by the things he said to me. So here’s my whole question, I want to talk to my therapist more about how it still really bothers me how he treated me when I worked there, but I’m kind of nervous that she’ll be mad at me for not doing anything/not doing what she told me to do. What should I do? Should I still try to talk with her about it? I’m sorry it was so long thanks for listening Maggie ❤️

hi anon! first of all, i’m so sorry this all happened to you and you absolutely do not deserve to be treated that way!!!!!!!!! he was in a position of power and he knew that and he used it against you. you have every right to be upset and i totally understand being too scared/worried to not do anything about it. he knew that and that is how he is able to get away with things like this. i don’t think it was right for your therapist to say that you should have approached him directly. that is very intimidating, dangerous, nervewracking, and overwhelming. i would never expect you to do that, and i would have agreed with contacting HR. she doesn’t have any right to be mad at you for that. and she shouldn’t! if you want to talk about this more, therapy should be a safe place to do so. if she isn’t reacting in a way that is positive and helpful to you, then you should consider talking to a different therapist about it. this was something very damaging and you should be allowed to process it without any sort of judgement. i love you and i hope something like this never happens to you again