#it's why briefcase and him live together

[dont-hug-me-its-yuri]

who do you think in dhmis cant cook/bake anything at all and if they try they would burn the whole place down :3

I think most of the teachers aren't really good at cooking, but I think Lamp would be the worst at cooking

The others don't let him within five feet of a stove Because it will explode if he even touches it

Also self-indulgent Coffin thing, I think he's not the best cook but he's actually pretty good at baking

[seospicybin]

THE EQUATION.

Seungmin x reader x Lee Know. (s)

Synopsis: Seungmin trusts nothing but numbers and dating you slightly changes that notion until Minho comes and mess the equation. (12,1k words)

Author's note: You guys have been asking for 2min content so here it is. Hope you like x

Unlike people, numbers don't lie. Politics, poetry, promises... those are lies but numbers, they are absolute, they are tangible and they will never lie or betray him. Numbers are what they are: the truth.

And that's why Kim Seungmin prefers to work with numbers, as an analyst at an investment trust company. His job includes analyzing bonds, stocks, and other financial instruments, studying the economic data and the financial markets, and recommending investments. He spends time predicting investment returns through various modeling techniques and assessing the risk of investments.

However, there's one thing in Seungmin's life that he couldn't predict with numbers and statistics, and that is you.

First of all, Seungmin is at the peak of his career, he likes his job and he enjoys what he's doing, in other words, he's living a fulfilling life his way.

Seungmin would rather use the time to bring in billions' worth of investments than waste it on something as frivolous as dating.

That was his initial thought until he met you one random afternoon at a cafe.

It's funny that the cafe is one that he regularly visits to get his morning coffee and somehow, he needed another cup of coffee after work, and of all the possibilities, you were the one taking his order even though you're the manager, not one of the baristas.

Seungmin is not one to believe in such things as fate or destiny but he has no other way to explain it, it feels like at that moment, the universe was trying to bring him and you together.

The next thing Seungmin knows, he's been dating you for six months now, and in those six months, he learned that dating seemed frivolous to him at that time because he hadn't met the right person yet. He also learns that not everything that is not tangible or absolute and not presented in data or statistics are lie.

There are three things that Seungmin believes are true: He likes you, he's happy with you and every day, he likes you more and more thus making him happier and happier.

-

Look at him now! Seungmin gets nervous knowing that he's late for dinner at your place, his foot tapping against the floor of the elevator as it takes him up to your floor.

The second the doors slide open, he walks as fast as he can while cradling the bottle of wine in his arm and carrying his briefcase in the other hand.

Despite knowing the code to your apartment, Seungmin prefers the doorbell. He holds all of his things in one arm to free his hand and presses the doorbell to alert you that he's here, then lets out a sigh.

It isn't much about the fact that he's nineteen minutes late, he's nervous about something else and the thought of it makes his hand fly to the back of his head, getting that weird feeling as he touches his hair that is now short.

The door swings open and your face lights up the moment your eyes lie on him.

"Baby!" You squeal in joy and jump at him, welcoming him with an enthusiastic hug and almost knocking his glasses off his nose.

With the things he carries in one arm, Seungmin can only hug you back as much as he can, and a while later, you pull away and open the door wider for him.

"I have to hurry and stir the sauce," you excuse yourself as you turn around and head straight back inside.

Seungmin doesn't get the chance to apologize for his tardiness, he lets himself in and takes his coat off, then carefully puts his briefcase down on the nearest chair.

He brings the bottle of wine with him as he joins you in the kitchen, "Bought us a bottle of wine."

You briefly glance at it and delightfully exclaim, "Red wine! That's perfect!"

Then you put your focus back on the sauce in the pan, stirring it with a wooden spatula in slow, circular motions, and once it bubbles up, you turn the stove off.

"Okay, now I can properly welcome my boyfriend home," you sweetly say as you approach him with open arms.

Seungmin hurriedly puts down the bottle of wine on the kitchen counter to keep it safe and also, to properly return your hug this time.

"Hi," you mutter with a smile as you put your hands around him and drop them on his shoulders, "I miss you."

It's something else that Seungmin can't find the logical explanation for it but when he's with you, the chemistry in his body drastically changes the second you enter his radar, he feels a surge of dopamine, he feels instant comfort and his body relaxed, and the moment both of your lips collide in an explosive kiss, his heart palpation.

All of a sudden, your lips stiffen against him and you slowly pull away, then bring your hand to the nape of his neck, tangling it in his short hair.

"Wait... did you cut your hair?" You ask with a sly smile on your face.

"Yeah, I did," Seungmin answers.

You take a moment to check his new haircut and at the same time, admire how it accentuates his already perfect facial features and how the dark of his hair adds intensity to his eyes.

"Do you like it?" He shyly asks.

You drop your hands around his neck and pull him close, "I love it," you reply.

Then you lean in for another kiss, harder and deeper while steering his body until his back meets the door of the fridge. You put your whole weight, putting your body against him until your bodies mold into each other.

When he's with you, his brain stops controlling his body and his heart takes over, making the chemistry in his body want only you and you and you.

And, oh, how good it feels that he gets what he wants and you're just for him and him only.

The beeping sounds coming from the oven interrupt the moment and you immediately pull away from the kiss to get to it.

"To be continued," you tell him with a sly smile.

Curls of steam escape the oven as you open it and the mouth-watering smell wafts around in the room, evoking his appetite. You put mitts on both hands and cautiously, take the tray out of the oven, revealing the perfectly roasted chicken.

Aware that you must put a lot of effort into making dinner, Seungmin knows that he, at least, should contribute to it apart from the bottle of wine he brought.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" He asks.

You take your oven mitts off and put them away, "You can open the bottle of wine and bring the glasses to the table."

Before doing what you order, Seungmin unbutton his cuffs and folds the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbow. He starts by opening the wine bottle and pulling the cork open with a loud popping sound. He then brings it to the table along with the two wine glasses he carries in one hand, he meticulously pours the wine and the aphrodisiac smell fills his nostrils as he takes a small sip at it.

The roasted chicken is just as delicious as it looked and the lemon dill sauce is just the perfect condiment, even better that the red wine complements the whole thing. It's such a simple yet heartwarming dinner, that Seungmin finds himself completely at ease and unknowingly lowering his guard down.

"...I think they miss their figures so I said let's increase by 15% because I was sure they'll strike gold with the new product line," Seungmin passionately shares a bit of his day at work.

"And I guess, you were right?" You ask before shoving a spoonful of food into your mouth.

"There was a line around the corner on the release date, I was right," he confirms with a small smile.

And when he's at ease like this, he can comfortably talk about almost anything with you and he's aware that it may bore you.

"Did I bore you?" He meekly asks.

"No," you hastily answer, placing your hand on his hand that rests on the table.

"You know I like it when you talk numbers," you add with a soft smile.

"This is really good, by the way," he says, averting the conversation to the food you cooked so incredibly.

"Glad you like it, baby," you say with a gentle squeeze on his hand.

There are no numbers or data that can tell Seungmin the reason why you like him, neither his look nor personality are that appealing and you are the opposite of that, you're beautiful and charming, you're so well-spoken, and now, you have proven that you're a good cook too.

Once again, he can't find the logical explanation to that but he's lucky to have met you.

Seungmin pours more wine into both of your glasses as you tidy up the kitchen after dinner, he sits on the sofa and waits for you to join him. You put on music through the portable speaker and the slow beat of the song softly plays in the background.

"Thank you," you say as you take the glass of wine from his hand.

The sofa fits three people but you opt to sit on Seungmin's lap, straddling him without spilling the wine in your hand. You take a small sip before putting it away on the coffee table.

"Thank you for the hearty dinner," he sincerely mutters his gratitude and he knows he has said it more than a dozen times already.

"If you're really thankful, where's my kiss then?"

Knowing that it would be a hassle, he takes his glasses off first and then puts his arms around you to draw you close. The hand that rests on the nape of your neck allows him to angle your head as he pleases and then slowly, he puts his lips on yours, conveying his gratitude through a kiss.

"Thank you," he murmurs when he breaks the kiss.

"You're very welcome," you reply.

You lay your hands on his shoulders and then glide them down his shoulder blade, feeling how broad and muscular they are. Then you bring your hands to the back of his hands, gently pulling at the short hair there.

"Did you sync your hair appointment with my menstrual cycle or something?"

Seungmin snorts at the random question, "No. Why?"

"Then why did you get a haircut when I'm ovulating, mmh?" You ask, purposely bumping your nose at his.

"No, that's not—" his words get cut off as you put a finger on his lips.

"Oh, stop playing dumb!" You tell him, putting your finger away so you can kiss him.

You kiss him hard until his head tilted to the back and he has no choice but to give in, letting your body pressed against him.

Seungmin gets light-headed from the kiss as he prioritizes kissing you back instead of breathing, and you know what? It's worth every second of it even though his lungs burn from the lack of oxygen.

Sensing that you both need a breather, you pull away from the kiss and slightly turn his head to the side to place kisses on his jaw.

"I think you should take responsibility for your actions," you whisper to him.

"I didn't do anything," he innocently says with a low chuckle.

His hand trails down your spine and stops on the arch of your back, his nails dug at your clothed skin as you plant searing kisses on his neck with your hot breath tickling his ear.

"I think you should put a baby in me," you softly whisper.

Not only the words secretly arousing him, it's also the way a sly smile blooms on your face after you say it, oh, he couldn't be more attracted to you!

"In this economy?" He asks with an eyebrow raised in disagreement.

"Yeah, you're right but..." You put your hands on his chest and put a space between your faces, "we can start by having unprotected sex."

He laughs at that and puts his hands on your thighs, "And risk to actually put a baby in you?"

You roll your eyes at him, sighing as your hands slump down his chest. With a deep breath, you try again in a way that intrigues him.

"If we're talking about the success rate of birth control, it's 99%," you begin your explanation.

"Yeah, but—"

You stop him from cutting you off by covering his mouth with your fingers, "Yeah, I know. I might have missed a pill or two but that only decreased the success rate to 93% which means..."

You put your hands around his neck and continue with your explanation, "There's only a 7% chance that you'll actually put a baby in me."

He glides his hands up to hold each side of your waist, "And that means 7 out of 100 pill users get actual babies in them."

"Yeah, but I'm part of the 93%," you confidently remark.

"Or you could be in the 7%," he argues.

"Uhh... I wouldn't be so sure. 7 has never been my lucky number anyway," you simply state, adding a nonchalant shrug at the end.

What you said is so out of pocket that it amuses him so much and he thinks that's why he likes you, you're unpredictable. In fact, you're the only unpredictable thing that he likes in his life.

"And maybe this will change your mind..." you say, untying your dress open and revealing enough to show the bra you're wearing underneath.

"How's that?" You adorably tilt your head to the side as you ask him.

Seungmin tries to remain calm even though he gets the urge to just rip your dress open and expose more of you to him. He looks away and stares at your face, but you're taking his hand and making him cupping your breast.

"I'm wearing it for you," you seductively say.

He's feeling the lacey fabric of your bra instead of kneading on your breast, "Yeah?"

"Uh-huh, and it comes with matching underwear too," you share, parting your dress open until it's completely off of you.

As of this moment, his self-control is being tested and he doesn't know how long until he folds. He holds his breath as his eyes travel down your body, quietly lusting at it.

You slowly bring your head close and sweetly peck his lips, "Do you like it?"

He rubs his hands up and down your sides, then looks up at you, "Yes."

"Yes, what?" You lean in closer until the tip of your nose bumps his cheek.

"I like it," he speaks so low it's almost like a whisper.

You smile at his answer and react more by pressing your lips on his lips. The more you kiss him, the more he doesn't want to let go, he just wants to keep kissing you until he runs all of the air in his body.

All of a sudden, you break the kiss with a gasp and slyly smile at him, "This is just one of my two-part plans," you tell him.

"What's the second part then?" He curiously asks with his fingertips lightly tracing your collarbone.

The sly grin on your face doesn't tell much but he knows it is something that will amuse him. You take his glasses on the coffee table and put them back on him.

"Keep your glasses on 'cause I want you to closely watch me take you in my mouth."

With his glasses on, Seungmin watches you take him into your mouth, how your luscious lips wrap around his length, and the way you swirl your slick, hot tongue around his tip. All the while, your hand takes care of the rest that you can't take into your mouth.

Don't get him started on the eyes you're giving him as half of his cock disappeared into your mouth, they're innocent and filthy at the same time, and he doesn't know how you do that but you're doing it so well.

He's sure that his hard cock shows how much he wants you and if not, well then, he just needs to take things further himself.

"Okay, fine, your two-part plan worked," he mutters with his hand tangled in your hair.

"I know," you cockily say to him.

He puts his other hand in your hair and then tilts your head to make you look at him, "Come sit on my lap!"

You obey him, pulling him out of your mouth and slowly, getting up from the carpeted floor. You take a step closer and he stops you right there.

"Just a second..." he says.

He looks up at you as you stand right in front of him, he trails his hands down the sides of your body and then tugs his fingers at the elastic band of your underwear. Without looking away from your eyes, he pulls it down your legs until it drops and pools around your ankle.

One corner of your mouth curls into a smirk as he puts his hand on the back of your knee and lifts it, resting your foot on his thigh. This position allows him to bring his mouth close to your heating core and a whimper falls out of your mouth the second his lips make contact with your tender flesh.

The glasses stay on because he knows how much you like seeing it turn foggy as he goes down on you. He doesn't need to look anyway to please you with his mouth.

He sticks his tongue out to tease your clit in a kitten lick before taking it whole in his mouth and sucking it real hard.

"Oh, baby..." you breathlessly moan as you tug at his hair in reaction to his stimulation.

Seungmin slowly lets go, he replaces his mouth with his hand, repeatedly running his fingers between your folds that your essence drenched all over them.

"Can't wait to be inside you," his voice hoarse and heavy with lust. He then retracts his hand, shoving his fingers coated with your essence, and licks them clean.

Seungmin scoots himself to the back of the sofa and then he holds his arms out at you to help you, but he lets his intrusive thoughts win, he pulls you hard until you fall on his lap.

You're giggling as you settle yourself on his lap and immediately put your hands around his shoulders, "eager, are we?"

He brings your head close for a kiss as you part his shirt open, and he briefly sits up straight so you can take it off of him. He wastes no time to put his arms around you after, drawing you close until there is no inch of gap left between your bodies.

To make it fair, he unclasps your bra and then pulls the straps down your shoulders, you do the rest by taking it off of you, letting it drop to the floor.

He likes how your breasts hang so beautifully on your chest and they look so soft, he can't help but feel them too. As he kneads on them, he can feel the ample flesh mold into his hands.

"Aren't they just perfect in your hands, mmh?" You murmur, kneading them together with his hands.

Yes, they do, he answers in his head and it makes him believe that your breasts were made just for him. He gently squeezes on them as he buries his head in between with his lips resting on your sternum.

You kiss the top of his head and cradle his head in your hands, your fingers lightly scratching the back of his head as you softly sigh, "My baby..."

Seungmin only knows how to dominate, always in control and being on top of the game but with you, he doesn't care about all that. With you, he just wants to be held and taken care of, and ultimately, loved.

Heaven really is a place on earth with you.

And he's about to enter real heaven when you slowly lower yourself on him. No rubber, no layer of protection just like you asked, it's just you and your warm velvety walls tightly wrapped around his length. Both of your lips instantly locked in a kiss again the moment he's fully buried inside you.

It's nothing like he imagined it would feel like, it's a thousand times better and when you start rocking your hips, Seungmin realizes that his self-control is going to be an issue.

As you keep pulsating your hips at a steady pace, you hold on to the back of the sofa for support and keep your face only inches away from his.

"Tell me, baby!" You murmur.

"Do I feel good, mmh?" You ask, then hastily kiss his open mouth.

You don't see him struggling, do you? Let alone able to compute words to answer your question but he hopes you can see how overwhelmed he is as you rock your hips back and forth.

"Cause you feel so good inside me, baby," you murmur into his ear.

"Oh, I can feel you all over me," you add with a hot kiss on his neck.

He roughly pulls your head close to press a kiss on your lips, grabbing a fistful of your hair in his hand as he keeps kissing you as a way to contain his grunts.

"You're close, mmh?" Your lips graze his as you speak.

There's no use to lie, he's inside you and you can feel him throbbing, wanting to shoot his load at any given time now.

"You're just too good," He simply admits, gliding his hands to your back and pulling you close.

"Are you going to cum for me then?"

"Yes," he shortly answers

"Inside me, yeah?"

He nods, pathetically.

Taking that as a confirmation, you pick up the pace, sending your breasts bouncing right in front of his face but his hands are too busy gripping each side of your waist, desperately trying to slow you down but failing.

"Mmh, yeah, cum for me, baby," you murmur before crashing your lips against him.

Surrendering himself to the need, Seungmin wraps his arms around you so tightly that your breasts are squashed between your chest. His eyes are screwed shut, his body is hot all over like someone kindle a fire inside him.

Despite his tight hold around you limiting your mobility, you maintain the pace, arching your back to provide more depth for him and add intensity to it.

"Cum, fill me, baby," you softly whisper with your lips brushing his jaw.

Seungmin is no longer in control of his body, his desire gets to him and takes him where he needs to be. The pleasure keeps on building up and up and he won't stop until he—

"Argh!" A raw groan spills out of his mouth, then he hurriedly plants his mouth on your shoulder to muffle it.

You finally slow down and hold him close, cradling his head in your chest as he relishes the waves of pleasure lapping over him.

As senses gradually come back to him, Seungmin tilts his head up and pulls you for a kiss, a kiss that feels tender and chaste, the kind that knocks your heart open.

"I love you," he blurts out.

"Oh?" You react with a perplexed gasp.

It surprises him too that he just blurted those words out, he didn't plan on saying it, heck! He didn't even think of saying it but now that the words are out, he knows that it's coming from deep within him.

"You didn't say that just because you're still inside me, right?" You playfully ask.

He innocently shakes his head but changes his mind in the next second, "Uhm... maybe? A part of it because of that," he jokingly says.

"I knew it!" You exclaim and squint your eyes at him.

He brings his hands to your shoulders and then cups your face in both hands, holding it with so much care as if you were a fragile object.

"I love you," he mutters with utmost sincerity and his heart hurts from saying those words out loud, in a good way.

"Me too," You smile and softly brush the hair curtaining his forehead, then place a soft kiss on it, "I love you."

His heart is full knowing that his feelings are being reciprocated and that makes him the happiest he's ever been, and the fact that it comes from something that is beyond him is what makes it special. He cups your jaw and kisses you so sweetly with a heart that loves you until it hurts so good.

"Seungmin," you softly call his name against his lips.

"Yes?"

"Can you put more love in me?"

"With pleasure," he gladly answers.

The music that faintly plays in the background is being replaced with the skin-slapping sounds and both of your breathy moans.

You're lying underneath him, hands gripping each side of the cushion your head resting on, eyes shut with a sheen of sweat coating your body.

"Oh, baby, yes," you moan through your gritted teeth.

Seungmin is using all of his strength, thrusting hard into you, and in each thrust, he tries to go as shallow as possible, hitting you right in the spot.

"Oh, please..." you cry and beg, sounding like you're in pain.

"Please, please, please," you beg again, but he knows that you're asking for more.

He's going impossibly fast that the sofa is creaking along to his movements but even if it breaks, he won't stop. He needs to give you your release and at the same time, he can't help himself but get the pleasure of giving it to you.

"Seungmin, please, please..." you beg again, your eyes closed so tightly that tears squeeze out of the corners of your eyes.

It's the way you're calling him so desperately and with so much neediness that drives him to keep going. He grips the handrest of the sofa as leverage and thrusts into you harder and harder that the muscles on his body are strained and his body is close to giving out.

"Seungmin, please..." you breathlessly moan again.

Yeah, that's right, he's the only one who can give it to you and he's going to give it to you just right.

A mix of a moan and a cry rips out of you as your body stiffens and then softens in the next second, overflowing with immense pleasure.

Seungmin slows his thrusting but adds intensity, he can feel it coming as well. With the way you're clenching around him, it doesn't take him long to finally cum for the second time.

He launches his cock as deep as possible to plant his seed inside you and lowers his mouth on yours to fill his need to be one with you.

It's the most intimate he's ever been with someone, it doesn't feel like physical fulfillment anymore, it's bonding, it's trust, and he believes it's what people call making love.

After a while, Seungmin lets go and slowly, pulls out of you. With your legs still spreading open, he can see how your cunt is drenched with your mixed bodily fluid and pulsating, and a while later, he can see the white of his seed dripping out of you and he can't believe how much he cum inside of you as it now drips onto the sofa. It's a highly erotic thing to watch and satisfies him in a whole new way.

"Are you sure you're not trying to put a baby in me 'cause that was..." you can barely finish your words. You brush away the hair stuck to your moist forehead and let out an exhausted sigh.

Seungmin quietly and triumphantly smiles, he hovers above you and places a long, lingering kiss on your lips. As soon as he breaks the kiss, he looks at you and says, "Well, 7 has never been my lucky number either."

-

Since his job requires him to work late almost every night, Seungmin only meets you on the weekends and he'll stay over, even if it means he has to go to work early on a Monday morning.

"Stay," you mumble with your eyes closed, not letting him stop cuddling you on the bed.

"You can sleep some more," he whispers into your ear, along with a soft kiss on your neck.

"No, stay," you mumble again, taking his arm and putting it around you.

It's always like this every Monday morning, you're not letting him go and he'll cave in, then he'll cuddle you for a few more minutes, peppering you with kisses before dragging himself out of the bed.

If he has to choose, he'd rather stay in bed with you all day but he has other responsibilities to do and it involves a lot of people, not just him.

When Seungmin returns from the shower, you're sitting on the bed with his glasses on, your eyes immediately traveling up and down his glistening wet body, but they focus on the towel that lowly hangs around his hips.

"Oh... mama!" You gasp in delight, your teeth faintly bite your lower lip.

Flustered, he hurriedly walks up to you and takes his glasses off of you, then puts them on him. He gives your cheek a soft caress and then kisses the top of your head.

"You should sleep some more," he suggests as he saunter to your closet where he keeps some of his clothes in there.

"Why would I do that when I can watch my hot, nerdy boyfriend getting dressed to save the nation's economy from collapsing?" You playfully remark, sitting on the bed while hugging your knees.

As he chooses what to wear for the day, he looks over his shoulder at you and asks, "Who's going to make coffee then?"

"Oh, yeah, right," you sigh and pout, "you only date me because of my coffee."

"That's right," he responds with a sly smile.

You get up from the bed and come up to him, slipping your arms under and around him for a hug. You place kisses on the skin on his chest, shoulder, and neck, and eventually, your lips find his.

"Wear the blue shirt," you suggest, pointing at the baby blue shirt inside the closet before turning around on your feet, and heading out of the room so he can get dressed.

The blue shirt surely looks good on him but he can't remember wearing it or bringing it to your place, also, it's a bit tight around the shoulders. He heads to the kitchen where you're busy making coffee for him.

"Are you sure this shirt is mine?" He asks in confusion.

"Of course, it's yours, you silly," you hastily answer and then put down the coffee pot to take a good look at him, "What's wrong?

Seungmin takes a seat on the stool that is pushed against the kitchen island, "It's a bit tight around the shoulders."

You deliver his cup of coffee and then run your hands through his shoulder blades, "That's because you have such sexy, broad shoulders," you whisper into his ear.

He turns his head to the side and you immediately capture his lips in a kiss. You break the kiss to place more kisses on his face and neck.

"Now, eat your breakfast, champion!" You order.

You stand there behind the kitchen island to watch him take his first sip of the coffee you make, and as expected, it's as good as the first time had a taste of it and it also brings back the memories of how he met you that night.

"How is it?"

"Perfect!" He answers with a smile.

It's never just a goodbye kiss with you, it's a full-on makeout with bodies pressed and pushed against the wall, its lips and tongue, and occasional bites in between.

Seungmin has to stop you from going in for another kiss as he still needs air to breathe. He holds you close but keeps his face a safe distance away from yours, his height helps with his.

"You have the night shift tonight," he says.

"Uh-huh."

"You better go get some sleep after this," he suggests.

"One more kiss then," you sweetly ask.

Seungmin has no power to resist you, especially when you look at him with crinkles in your eyes. It would make him a bad man if he said no to that.

"Just one," he makes a compromise.

"Just one, yes," you repeat with an eager nod.

He finds you so cute acting like a puppy like that, he has no other reason but to give you what you want. He slowly leans in and kisses you, ever so softly despite feeling like fireworks are going off inside his chest.

"I have to go," he says once he breaks the kiss.

You don't say anything but pout to him, clinging to him to let him know you don't want him to go.

"I'll see you soon, mmh?" He says with a smile and a long peck on the lips as a consolation.

That seems to cheer you up as a smile blooms on your face, you hug him close, embracing all of him before taking a step back so he can walk out of the door.

"Have a great day at work!" You say as you linger by the doorway and with a sweet smile, you let him go.

A couple of days later, Seungmin receives a call from you but it comes at a bad time, he's in a meeting and he ends up getting two missed calls from you.

You know better to not call him when he's working but it seems urgent so he goes to the office lounge to call you back.

"I'm late," you suddenly share right after you accept the call.

"Late?" He asks in confusion.

There is a pause and then you explain, "My period is late."

The moment you both decided to have unprotected sex, Seungmin prepared himself for a situation like this. He knows that other than he needs to take responsibility for it but checking in on your well-being comes on top of his priority.

"Are you okay?" He asks in slight concern.

"I'm okay," you answer.

"Do you want me to come and be with you?" He offers, even though he doubts he'll be able to do that but that's something he can deal with later.

"No, it's okay. I just..." you pause to inhale air, "I just think that you need to know."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm about to take pregnancy tests," you inform.

"Okay, well, it's better if you take two tests just in case the result is inconclusive," he carefully suggests, keeping his voice low as he's still in his workplace.

"Yeah, okay," you take in his suggestion.

"Hey, it's going to be okay?" He assures you because he knows that's what you actually seek at this moment, an assurance that things are going to be alright no matter what.

"I know," you meekly say.

"I love you," he says because he has nothing else to show you how much he cares and loves you, and he can hear you smiling at the end of the line.

"I love you too," you say with a slight cheery tone.

The two of you let those words hang in the air and let that be the only thing that exists in this dire moment.

After a moment, you sigh into the phone and say, "Well, I'm going to pee on these pregnancy tests and will tell you about the results."

"I'll look forward to it," he playfully responds.

It's normal for him to feel nervous about the results but surprisingly, he doesn't feel scared at all. If anything, it makes him start thinking about his future with you, and if you turned out to be pregnant then it simply means he'd have another part of you that he can love.

That's all he can think about at work, not numbers or statistics, but how wonderful it would be to build a family with you.

As he's deep in his thoughts, his phone vibrates on his desk. He turns it over to check and fumbles on his seat when he notices that it's multiple new texts from you.

"Guess what?" You wrote on the first text, and below it a picture of the pregnancy tests and both showing negative results.

"Told you, seven has never been my lucky number," you wrote in the following text with a smiling emoji.

It's a good thing that you don't call or you would hear the slight disappointment in his voice, but at the same time, he feels a sort of relief. Well, this only means that Seungmin only needs to postpone his plan on building a family with you.

"That damn seven percent," he jokingly wrote in his reply to you.

As a sort of joke, Seungmin decided to get off work early, and bought flowers along with a card he personally wrote on it that says, "Congratulations on being in the 93%!"

He knows you're having night shift for the whole week so the plan is to catch you right on the closing time and surprise you with the flowers.

Seungmin is not big on grand, romantic gestures like this but it shouldn't be something he should be ashamed of doing. It's all about the intention and he believes that the thing earlier was quite a shock to you so his intention is purely to brighten up your day and hopefully, make you feel better.

The taxi pulls up at the side of the street across the cafe, he can see that he comes right on time as you're locking up the place. He has to walk a little further to the crosswalk while carrying the flowers in one hand. He's watching as you lock up the café and pulling at the door to make sure it's completely locked.

As you hoist the strap of your bag higher on your shoulder, you turn around on your feet and Seungmin hurriedly waves his hand your way even though it's doubtful that you'll see him.

However, your face lights up like you usually do whenever you see him, your eyes sparkle, and a radiant smile. His heart is pounding as he starts to eagerly wave his hand at you only to find out that you're looking at someone else.

A guy comes out of the car parked right outside the café and you walk up to him, not stopping him as he hugs you. It's not just a friendly hug, the guy holds you close and lifts you off the ground for a moment, sending you giggling with your head bumping close to him.

Seungmin unconsciously follows the crowd crossing the street and when he finally gets to the side of the street, he sees that the two of you are kissing, lips locked with arms around each other.

He takes slow, hesitant steps toward you to see if it's really you and you're aware that you're kissing someone that is not him. He stops on his track as the guy spins you to the side and you open your eyes to see him standing there.

In that moment, your eyes meet and the expression on your face significantly turns into a panic one. From the look of it, it finally registered to him that you're fully aware of what you're doing.

"What is this?" He asks in utter confusion at you.

You immediately push the guy you've just kissed to approach him, "Seungmin, I can explain!" You say.

There's nothing to explain when he saw everything with his own eyes, unless you think he's blind or losing his mind, that's the only explanation he needed.

You walk toward him in such caution like approaching a wild animal, "Seungmin, please, wait, I can—"

But he's no longer looking at you, he's looking at the other guy and how flippant he is at this whole situation. He's mad beyond belief and before he obliterates everything around him, he turns around on his feet to leave.

"Seungmin!" You call his name out loud and he can hear you break into tears after.

"Fuck this," He mutters out of spite, tossing the flowers into the trash bin. He ignores your desperate calls and keeps walking away, not looking back.

-

Men lie, women lie, and numbers, after all, can be manipulated which makes it a lie. In other words, everything is a lie.

Even Seungmin is lying to himself, he pretends that he's alright even though the truth is he's far from alright. He can't believe that a week ago he thought of building a family with someone he's only known for six months, six fucking months and you turned out to be cheating on him.

The only thing that he believes in is this anger he feels whenever he thinks of you and it's more infuriating that he can't find the outlet for it. It seems like he has to keep it in until he dies.

His phone vibrates on his desk and he hates that his heart gets hopeful, thinking that it's a text from you when the truth is you stopped contacting him two days ago and he knows it's because he didn't respond to any of them, but deep down, he hopes it's you.

Full of anticipation, he checks his phone and sees that he has received a series of texts from an unknown number. It's probably work-related texts so he ignores it for a while until the curiosity wins over him.

"So, you're the other boyfriend," is what is written in the text.

"Who is this?" He quickly replies.

"It's Minho. The boyfriend," he writes along with multiple pictures of you and him.

If his goal is to make him jealous, he's succeeded at that and now that the goal is achieved, what else there is?

"What do you want?" Seungmin gets defensive.

"Does this mean you give her up, huh?"

It's not giving you up when he decides to break up with you after finding out that you cheated on him. Before Seungmin can compose a reply to that, a new text appears.

"I'm the better man anyway," Minho writes and he knows he does it to provoke him.

What a shame that Seungmin is not triggered and decides not to stoop to his level. Minho is free to think that he gives you up or he's a better man than him, Seungmin doesn't care at all!

However, his ignorance only lasts for a couple of days until Minho comes up with a text that has one clear purpose and that is to light Seungmin's short fuse.

"Come and watch me fuck her better than you did?" Minho wrote on the text along with a video of you, lying naked on the bed with his hand going all over you.

As if that isn't enough, Minho sends another video and Seungmin knows better not to open it but he does anyway. The next video is of him filming himself fucking you through the mirror that he knows for sure is in your bedroom and he can hear your moans in the background.

"Did you say something?" Minho asks as he turns the camera to you.

"Please!" You say.

"Please, what?"

"Please, Minho, I want to cum," you plead with your eyes red and teary.

With the rage that blinds him and jealousy that burns him from the inside, Seungmin rides in the back of the taxi in the middle of the night with both hands balled into fists on his lap and his chest heaving in anger on the way to your place.

He skips on the knocking on the door and punches the passcode into your place, letting himself in. A while later, you come to the door, looking unruly but fully dressed, it looks like he's just disturbed your slumber instead of catching you sleeping with another guy.

"Seungmin," you say his name in a mix of confusion and surprise.

Seungmin would be lying if he didn't miss hearing you call his name but he reminds himself he's not here for that, he came here for something else.

"Where is he?" He asks as he walks past you. He starts looking for him in every room in your apartment while you're trailing behind him.

"Who?" You ask in utter confusion.

"Your boyfriend," he simply answers, pushing the door to your bedroom and seeing that no one is on the bed except for a messy pile of duvet.

"He's not here and I haven't seen him in a week," you tell him.

He avoids looking into your eyes and walks up to the bathroom, pushing the door open with his hand only to reveal that you're telling the truth.

"Why? Isn't he your boyfriend? Shouldn't you with him?" He asks you, going out of the bedroom to check the laundry room near the kitchen.

"Because I needed the space. I got heartbroken when you broke up with me," you meekly answer.

Maybe he was foolish for not knowing you lied behind his back but how dare you lie right to his face now? Seungmin stops looking and turns around to look at you, he scoffs in exaggeration.

"Don't lie to me," he says to you with a sarcastic smile.

"I'm not. I am still devastated that we broke up," you genuinely admit with tears pooling in your eyes.

Hearing someone enter the passcode to your door, you hurriedly wipe your eyes before the tears roll down your cheeks and head to the door to check who is it.

"Minho, what are you—" You can't barely finish your sentence as he presses a kiss on your lips.

"Minho, this is not a good time," you say to him, but he walks further inside while holding your hand.

Without having to look, Seungmin knows that it's the man he's looking for and he realizes Minho was never here, he sent all those videos just to trap him and he fell right into it.

"You came, huh?" Minho says to him with a faint smirk on his face.

That is enough to trigger Seungmin, he takes a step forward and closes the gap between their bodies, "What's your problem?"

You immediately get in between and push them away from each other until there's a safe distance between them, "Minho, please, don't!"

"I don't know why I'm here," Seungmin mutters, pushing his way in the direction of the door.

You block the way and take both of his hands, "No, Seungmin, please, stay!" You beg with pleading eyes.

"Nah, babe, just let him go!" Minho says with a rather mocking tone at Seungmin while leaning the side of his body against the wall.

"You both stay!" You tell both of them, dragging Seungmin back inside and making him sit on the sofa. You glare at Minho next, gesturing him to also sit on the sofa, and with a sigh, he obeys to your order.

They're sitting so far apart from each other and you know Minho is the one who made Seungmin come here, but the damage has been done, you may as well use this opportunity to talk to both of them.

"Now that you're both here, let me explain everything," you say, standing right in front of them.

"I don't need your explanation," Seungmin says without looking at you.

"Seungmin, please!" You beg again.

"The door is right there!" Minho casually says to him.

You know Minho is going to be the problem so you glare at him, "Minho, please?" You say in a rather threatening tone instead of pleading.

"I'm not going to stop you from leaving but please hear me first," you try again while clasping your hands together in front of you.

Seungmin refuses to look at you but he stays in his seat and that's enough, he only needs to hear your part of the story anyway.

"Yes, I'm dating the two of you at the same time," you admit right away and that seems to intrigue Seungmin that he glances your way.

"But I wouldn't call it cheating," you continue and Seungmin looks away again, "Even if that's the case, it only means that I'm cheating on Minho with you."

"What do you mean by that? You're dating him behind my back," Seungmin says with a lot of resentment in his voice.

"Minho knows everything," you reveal, "We've been dating for three years way before I met you."

"Yes, and she told me everything," Minho adds with a wicked smile on his face.

It feels as if the two of you are playing him and he feels stupid for being the joke in this narrative. Seungmin looks at you and then at Minho with a revolted look on his face, "What is this sick game are you playing here?"

You take a step closer to him and slightly bend down to make him look at you, "Seungmin, I swear this is not a game. Our relationship is real and so is my relationship with Minho, we're—"

This is where Seungmin loses it. He's not familiar with this equation. You're dating him but also dating Minho. How can one person date two people at once? And is that even possible? Since when 1+1+1 is two? His brain just can't comprehend it.

"You cheated on me," he says and that's the only statement he firmly stands on, he doesn't care who dates who first and how many relationships you have other than with him.

You take a moment to inhale air and try again, "Seungmin, trust me when I say I never lied to you. I love you and you know that's true," you calmly tell him.

"But you did lie to me about your relationship with him," Seungmin

"Because I don't want to lose you," you hastily respond with the harsh truth.

A moment passes in silence as Seungmin processes your words and you're right, he would have left you a long time ago and the relationship wouldn't last this long.

"I know this is hard to understand but I love you, Seungmin, and I love him too," you say as you point at Minho.

You rake your hair to the back and come up to them, kneeling in front of them as you grab their hands in each of your hands.

"And I know how selfish and greedy I sound but I want you both in my life," you finish with a sad smile.

Minho brings your hand close to his mouth and kisses it, "You know you'll always have me," he says.

You softly smile at him, "Thank you, Minho."

The ball is in Seungmin's court now and you look at him with hopeful eyes, even though the chance that he'll agree to this is slim, close to zero percent.

"Seungmin..." your voice lowers as a second passes without an answer from him.

All of a sudden, he takes his hand away from your hold and in that moment, you tell yourself that, at least, you've tried your best to make him stay and if he still chooses to go, then you have to let him go.

Seungmin's hand cups your cheek and he tilts your head, forcing you to look at him. To your surprise, he smiles and then slowly presses a kiss on your lips.

"You know that I love you too."

-

Since they're all and they both agreed on being in this relationship, you figure this is the chance to put it to a test and see if they can learn how to share.

Minho places a kiss on your shoulder as his hands busy unclasping your bra, he places another kiss on your neck and turns your head to the side so he can kiss your lips.

"It's off," he mutters as the bra is completely off your arms.

You peck his lips and smile, "Thank you, baby."

Minho has no problem adjusting himself to this but Seungmin looks a little lost that you have to keep him close and at times, you have to actively tell him what to do.

As you sit on the edge of the bed, you take his hands and pull him close. Giving him a long peck on the lips before asking him, "Are you nervous?"

"I'm not nervous," Seungmin puts his hands on each side of your waist and places a peck on your lips, "I just wish he's not here."

You chuckle at that and put your hands on his square shoulders, "at first, I thought Minho would be the one having problems sharing," you poke fun at him.

"I can share," he hastily responds, he quietly clocking Minho who's getting undressed in one corner of the bedroom, "Just not with him."

"Can you please try? For me?" You sweetly plead, along with multiple kisses planted on his lips, "Mmh?"

Seungmin knows that he has no other option but to share you, he accepts it with a sigh, "Okay."

"Thank you, baby," you softly mutter, bringing his head close so you can kiss him hard and deep.

The kiss lasts for a few minutes and you eventually break the kiss, gasping for air the second your lips detached. You get on all fours on the bed and take his cock in your hand, slowly stroking it before taking it into your mouth.

You maintain eye contact with Seungmin as your mouth is full of him, alternating between sucking and licking, combining it with your hand pumping the base of his cock.

Seungmin gathers all of your hair to the back and forms a makeshift ponytail with his hand to keep all of your hair away so he can see his cock slipping in and out of you.

Behind you, you feel Minho's hand on the arch of your back and it's gliding down to the curve of your rear, he doesn't hesitate to knead the flesh until it molds into his hand.

Next, he replaces his hand with his mouth, sucking on the ample flesh of your ass cheek hard enough that you believe it would leave a mark.

Your focus starts to shatter as Minho plants his mouth on your heating core, he keeps your ass cheeks parted open so he can plant his mouth deeper in your wetness.

His slick tongue teases your entrance and at the same time, his hand snakes its way to the front to play with your clit, pinching for added stimulations.

You're moaning with Seungmin's cock in your mouth and somehow, the vibration adds pleasure to him as he hand tugs harder at your hair.

It goes on for long until you deem it's enough or else you'll get too overwhelmed to continue. You slowly pull Seungmin's cock out of your mouth, ignoring how your saliva coated his length and dribbling down your mouth. Minho catches you from the back, holding you as you sit on the bed and spread your legs open for Seungmin.

"Go ahead. You can have the first turn," Minho says to Seungmin, always in a tone that borderline mocking him.

You land a hard slap on Minho's arm, "Be good!" You warn him.

"Sorry, honey," Minho apologizes to you along with a kiss instead at him.

However, Seungmin does a good job of pretending like Minho wasn't there, he crawls over to you to place a kiss on your lips before settling himself between your legs. He rubs his fingers between your folds, softly as if he's touching flowers.

He's going to keep pretending like Minho wasn't there and fully enjoying this moment. It's not hard when your body always entices him, endlessly arousing him and inviting him to touch.

With another kiss on your lips, Seungmin slowly pushes inside. He pulls out only to push deeper into you and do it a few times more until he's fully sheathed in your tight walls.

"Mmh, yeah..." you moan with eyes closed, "So good inside me."

He lets himself explore your body with his hands then with his lips next, marking your skin with searing kisses to finally start thrusting into you.

Minho slowly lays you down but keeps his eyes and hands on you, touching you and cupping your breasts as they're jiggling along to Seungmin's slow yet steady thrusts.

He stands on the side of the bed facing you, pumping his cock as he's watching you being fucked by Seungmin, and eventually, brings his eyes back to you.

Using the tip of his cock, he rubs your erect nipples, wetting them with his precum and making you squeeze his cock between your breasts.

"Oh..." you loudly moan, taking every stimulation on every inch of your body from the two men.

The wild glints in his eyes scare you and excite you at once. You're tilting your head his way with your mouth wide open.

"You want it in your mouth?" He says as he pumps his cock so close to your face.

You bite your lips, nodding.

Instead of giving you what you want, he shoves his thumb into your mouth and watches as you suck hard on it before finally putting his cock into your mouth. He grabs the hair on the back of your head, keeping your head still as he drags his cock in and out of your mouth.

"You like that, huh?" Minho says as he looks down at you.

"You like having your greedy holes filled, huh?" He pulls out of you to give you a chance to answer.

"Yeah," you breathlessly answer with your lips wet with saliva.

"You hear that? She likes her greedy holes filled!" Minho says to Seungmin with a wicked grin plastered on his face.

Seungmin is too high on pleasure to care, having sex without protection is still new to him and he still needs a few practices to finally have some self-control doing it.

With your mouth full of Minho, your noises can no longer be his guide on pleasing you but he can tell from the way you're tightening around him. He needs a release as much as you do but he holds it in until he knows for sure you have climaxed.

Minho probably senses that you're so close, that he pulls out of you and offers his hands for you to hold on to. Your chest is heaving and moans are spilling out of your mouth.

"Seungmin, oh, please!"

There you go with your begging and pleading, and it's amazing that it still works on him, hearing you calling his name in such neediness gets him off.

When you finally reach your high, you pull your knees up as high as you can which provides him more depth and tightness that gets him closer to his release.

A few more thrusts are all it takes for Seungmin to reach his high. He keeps his cock deep inside you as he releases all of his seed. His hands are pressing on the back of your thighs with nails dug into the flesh.

Still gathering his senses, Seungmin searches for your lips and when they finally meet yours, he kisses you so hard that he runs out of the air in his lungs.

"So good, baby, that was so good," you mutter to him with half-shut eyes.

Seungmin climbs onto the bed, his back resting against the headboard while you're lying on your stomach in between his legs. You're both riding down your highs with some kisses and cuddles until Minho seeks your attention.

He pulls you by the waist, taking you away as you're about to lean in to kiss Seungmin. You laugh at his childish behavior and look over your shoulder at him.

"I'm not going anywhere," you jokingly mutter at him.

Minho holds you close and lets Seungmin watch as he runs his hands all over you as if he is trying to show him how to properly touch you.

He makes a trail of kisses from your neck and then down your spine, forcing you to bend down on the bed on all fours for him.

"Ouw!" You yelp as he lands a slap on your ass cheek.

Seungmin reflexively holds you by the shoulders, thinking it is something that he's doing that hurts you.

Minho lands another slap on the other cheek harder than the sound echoing in the room and sends you launching to the front.

"Fuck, your other boyfriend cum a lot," Minho complains with his fingers lightly circling your clit.

You shake your head at Seungmin, gesturing him not to take his bait, and bring your mouth to his ear to whisper, "I like it when you cum a lot inside me."

Seungmin holds the side of your head and kisses you, but Minho slaps your asscheek again to get your attention back to him.

"Let's hope he left some room for me to fill," Minho says, putting two digits into your gushing hole to prepare you for his cock.

"Don't be so dramatic, Minho," you poke fun at him.

He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you hard until your back hits his chest. He buries his head in your neck, placing ticklish kisses down the column on your neck while his hands are fondling your breasts.

"It's your turn to not be dramatic," he mutters into your ear as he aligns his cock to your entrance.

"How can I not be?" You say to him.

Without warning, he enters you, pushing his swollen member in little by little. His hands gripping your hips to keep you still as he keeps pushing in until he's fully buried inside you.

"Honey, oh..." you moan as you grope for his head, turning it to the side so you can kiss him.

"I know," he seductively murmurs into your ear, "You feel so good around me too."

As Minho starts thrusting into you, you get back on your fours again and share some of your attention with Seungmin. You crash your lips against him and take his hand, making him cupping your breast.

He affectionately brushes your hair to the side and holds it there before leaning in for a kiss again, kissing your parted mouth as you moan from Minho's thrusts.

"I'm cumming, oh, I'm cumming," you whine as your fingers claw at Seungmin's chest.

Minho keeps chasing his high and riding past your orgasm, sending you into overdrive. Your eyes are fluttering shut from the immense pleasure but Seungmin holds you steady and tirelessly placing kisses on the skin he can land his lips on.

"Just a little bit more," Minho says through his gritted teeth while keeping the motion of his hips going.

You're fisting the sheet underneath you and eventually collapse onto Seungmin's chest and letting him hold you as Minho finishes inside of you.

Minho lowers his body on you, planting kisses on your back and your neck, he then buries his head in your neck as the three of you snuggle on the bed, exhausted yet content with pleasure.

With your eyes barely open, you reach for Seungmin's jaw and kiss him, then turn your head to the side to capture Minho's lips in a kiss afterward.

And you think, it wasn't bad at all for a first practice.

-

The bed shifts as Minho props his elbow against the mattress, you're holding his arm close to your chest so he plants a long kiss on your shoulder before slowly, taking his hand away from around you.

He checks his phone for the time and he kind of already guessed that he should get ready for the day, he has a plane to catch.

He quietly makes his way to the bathroom to wash up and quietly gets dressed in the dark of the room, not wanting to wake the others sleeping in the room.

He helps himself for a quick breakfast in your kitchen, opening the fridge to get a carton of milk and it almost startles him to see Seungmin standing by the doorway of your room with his hair sticking up and his glasses perching slightly askew on his nose.

"Man, you look really good in the morning," he sarcastically says as he takes a box of cereal from the top cabinet.

Seungmin brushes his hair to the back and fixes his glasses, traipsing his way to one of the stools pushed against the kitchen island.

"I believe we have to talk," he says to him in his morning, deep voice.

Minho gathers a bowl and a spoon on the kitchen island. He repeatedly nods as he pours cereal into the bowl first and then pours the milk after.

"That's actually great because you haven't heard my part of the story yet," Minho finally responds to Seungmin.

He takes a spoonful of cereal and shoves it into his mouth, making Seungmin wait as he chews and swallows his food to speak again.

"I'm away a lot for work. I hate to see her feeling lonely and sad. I don't want to break up with her and so is she. I was the one who came up with the idea," he explains, taking another spoonful of cereal and making Seungmin wait again, "I told her to find another boyfriend."

Minho then rests his hands on the counter and leans forward, taking a moment to gather his thoughts in the silence that hangs in the room.

"When she told me about you, I was scared because I kind of set her up for heartbreak by coming up with that idea but she stopped feeling lonely and sad. I can also see that she's... happier," he shares, digging his spoon into the bowl, and with a sad chuckle he continues talking, "I even started to think that maybe she doesn't love me anymore."

It only occurs to Seungmin now that Minho did all that not for himself, he wouldn't bother texting him and sending him all those videos if his intention was only to provoke him. He did all that to force him to come and meet you, he did all that for you which makes Seungmin the bigger asshole in this.

Minho drinks the milk straight out of the bowl and then roughly wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, "What I'm saying is... I just want her to be happy. That's all," he finishes.

This concept of relationship is so new and foreign to Seungmin that at first, he finds it hard to make it make sense but after hearing both sides of the story, it isn't as complicated as he initially thought. After all, a relationship is a state of being connected whether it's people or objects or even concepts.

But it's nice to hear that despite his snarky remarks and flippant attitude, Minho is not afraid to be transparent about his feelings and thoughts, and Seungmin respects him for that.

On the other hand, it convinces Seungmin that this relationship would work because the three individuals are mature and have no intention of hiding things from each other anymore.

"I just want her to be happy too even if it means I have to endure your... attitude," Seungmin enunciates the last word with a sneer.

Minho scoffs and chuckles at that, finishing the bowl of cereal by draining the milk to its last drop.

"So how are we going to do this?" Seungmin asks in genuine curiosity.

"Well... we'll arrange something," Minho vaguely says, putting the dirty dishes down in the sink.

Minho returns to the bedroom to retrieve his jacket, he's sitting on the edge of the bed and places his hand on your shoulder, trying to wake you up with a gentle kiss on your lips and continues placing kisses all over your face until you steer in your sleep.

"Hey, I have to go," He softly mutters with a tender caress on your cheek.

You rub your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose, "Already?" You ask with a sleepy tone.

"My flight is in three hours," he informs while putting away the hairs from covering your face.

You pout and hum in complaint, stretching your arms out before putting them around his shoulders, pulling him close until he collapses on top of you.

"When will you come back?"

"Next Friday," he answers.

"Mmh, okay," you mumble, holding his face inches away from yours and giving him a long peck on the lips.

To give him a proper goodbye, you get up and put on any piece of clothing lying next to you. You walk Minho to the door for another hug and kiss while Seungmin sits in the kitchen, giving this moment just for the two of you.

"Stay safe. Take care," you tell him as you cling to his body.

Minho places ticklish kisses on your neck, sending you giggling as he holds you tightly. He eventually stops to press a long, lingering kiss on your lips.

"I'm going, okay?"

You nod and fondly gaze at him, "I love you."

He smiles at that and plants another lingering kiss on you, "I love you."

It's not the first time that he's leaving you to go away for work, but somehow, this time feels different, he feels a little relieved that he has someone he can trust to keep you safe.

"I'll be back soon," Minho mutters with a chaste kiss on your forehead.

You're lingering by the doorway, watching him leave until he goes inside the elevator and then go back inside. You're aware that Seungmin is there and you've been neglecting him the whole time you're saying goodbye to Minho.

You smile as you walk into the kitchen and see him still sitting there against the kitchen island, "I'll make us coffee," you announce.

"Okay," Seungmin shortly says with a soft smile.

You start by filling the pot with water and putting it on the stove, and as you wait for it to boil, you scoop some coffee beans to grind.

All of a sudden, you feel a pair of arms wrapped around you and you don't have to look to know it's Seungmin.

"Does it make you happy?" He asks out of the blue.

"What? Making coffee for you?" You jokingly ask even though you know the context of that question.

You put down whatever you're holding and turn around on your feet to face him, resting your hands on his chest as you look up at him and say, "I'm happy."

"Then I'm happy," he says with a smile, leaning in to softly kiss your lips.

The kiss brings back so many things, both the good and bad things you've shared, but ultimately him. The break-up was the worst part of it but now that he's back with you, you feel happier than ever.

"I love you, Seungmin," you tell him, sliding your hand up to his neck and holding him there, "I'll never let you break up with me again."

He puts his arms around and draws you closer, "I won't."

"Good, 'cause I don't know what a menacing man like Minho would do to you if that happened," you jokingly say.

In the end, Seungmin doesn't need numbers or data or statistics, he only needs to learn from his mistakes and as much as he hates his guts, he also needs to learn a few things from Minho and one of them is being a good boyfriend to you.

The white curls of steam escape the cup of coffee as you serve it on the table in front of him, the strong smell of it awakens all of his senses.

"Thank you," he mutters his gratitude with a smile that makes his eyes smaller and offers warmth.

You watch as he takes a careful sip at it with a hand propped under your chin, "How is it?"

He puts down his cup of coffee and smiles at you, "It's perfect."

As of this moment, Seungmin will only look at you as someone he loves and wishes to always be happy, and he'll think of himself not merely as a part of the equation but as what completes the equation.

-

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[kay-jaye]

bit on the side?

bit on the side?

crowley doesn’t know what the fuck that even means. ok, yes, he’s familiar with the deluge of terms humans have concocted to define the complexity of their relations to each other.

side piece. sneaky link. friends with benefits. fuck buddies. situationship.

crowley knows what it means. he does. but when nina speaks the phrase to him, crowley can’t seem to recognize a single language, alive or otherwise dead, in which the words she says make sense. he briefly wonders if this is his version of aziraphale’s french.

because she’s talking about aziraphale.

aziraphale, the angel. the angel who likes his tea without sugar, but his wine with company. the angel who claims to have a distaste for “bebop,” yet crowley has caught him mouthing the words to queen’s “good old-fashioned lover boy” more than once in the bentley. the angel (bastard) who enjoys subjecting crowley to his magic act antics that under no circumstances would crowley ever admit to finding amusing or, satan forbid, endearing. the angel who popped into paris during the reign of terror because he got peckish for crepes, and even the threat of guillotine in that damp bastille cell could not deter him from baked goods in the end. the angel who still insists on dragging crowley to see productions of shakespeare, despite both being present for the original opening nights of almost every play the man wrote. the angel who is what heaven is supposed to be incarnate—pure and kind and too good for his own good, really.

and crowley is a demon.

he doesn’t think any of the typical labels apply. they’re not human, after all; it couldn’t be that simple. crowley can’t pinpoint exactly when it started or when it changed. 6,000 years is a long history to comb through. it was more than the acquiescence of two immortal beings to the familiarity of each other in a world full of temporary creations. it was more than a bloody arrangement at this point. crowley doesn’t know how it can be more than whatever it means to inhabit the other’s body and walk right into fatal danger, but they are. he’s inclined to cut his losses and say he knew—because deep down, he did know—he’s been fucked since eden and the damn wall and the damn rain he can’t help but associate with revelation.

other people’s love lives, nina had said. love lives. she’s projecting, crowley knows that. whatever’s going on with her and…lydia? linda? they say love makes you blind, but crowley would argue you see plenty of things. every passing glance between sips of champagne; every smile at the crisp sarcasm rolling off a forked tongue; every brush of fingers over the exchange of a briefcase full of books, the shaky grip on a tartan thermos, the drunken grab for another glass of wine across the table. silly things. things that aren’t there. for all the times aziraphale has implored him to read more, crowley swallows the urge to say he already reads into things more than he should.

he’s imagined it before; what it would be like to have more. a fair share of people have made assumptions about them in the past, though he’s not sure whether aziraphale has picked up on it, but that’s not why crowley suddenly feels as though armageddon is upon them once again. never has someone alluded to anything as…intimate as “hooking up.” crowley can brush away the implication that they’re together, but something screeches to a burning halt the moment nina insinuates what crowley’s only ever allowed himself to think about when he’s laudanum-level drunk and lonely because he has a greater chance of not remembering in the morning.

he remembers though. that’s usually when the guilt kicks in, when he’s hungover because he forgot to miracle the alcohol out of his system before passing out, and the headache pulses with the constant reminder that aziraphale is pure, pure, PURE. nothing he imagines on those nights is pure.

what gave him away? and if nina can see it, can aziraphale?

[sanarsi]

It's just business

Javier Peña x informant!f!Reader

Summary: As one of the drug cartels' representatives, you were incredibly useful to Agent Peña. However, he can't stop his habit of fucking his informants. Warnings: +18, MDNI, rough sex, unprotected PIV, hair pulling, dirty talk, insults, rough!dom!Javier, mention of drugs, mention of killing, reader eats meat, age gap (not specified) Wordcount: 3,1k An: I admit, I got hot when I wrote this. As much as I have a weakness for soft Javi, I can't resist rough Javier as well. It’s for my all slutty sluts, enjoy xx Music I worked with: Trust Issues - The Weeknd (Remix)

Masterlist

You and Javier had a purely business relationship. Information for information. And he honestly wasn't happy about it. He'd rather see you behind bars.

Or in his bed.

Both options were satisfactory.

But he promised you immunity in exchange for information. You were useful and that's the only reason he gave you what you wanted in return.

That's why he was driving towards the city center again with a folder of documents on the seat next to him. He was already smoking another cigarette out of nerves after today's work. And the worst thing was that he continued working after work. What an irony.

He parked under one of the skyscrapers where you were supposed to wait for him. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and fixed his hair and mustache. He didn't look perfect but he was after a whole day of sitting in a damn office. He had the right to look and feel like shit.

Despite that, he put on some cologne and changed his shirt to a fresh one that was lying on the back seat. He carefully buttoned every button and straightened the collar of his black shirt. He took a briefcase with documents and a leather jacket from seat next to him and then headed towards the entrance to the skyscraper.

You loved meeting him in damn rich places. You emphasized your position in this city.

It was amazing how well it was to live on illegal money and hands covered in blood.

You were the perfect example of how beautiful the devil can be. And Javier was just a man who was easy to persuade to sin.

However, fate did not want to allow it.

You were the only informant he did not put his sticky hands on. And he didn't know if he was more pissed off or relieved that at least he hadn't sold out to someone like you.

He took the elevator up to the top floor where the restaurant was located. Too lavish for his taste. But it suited you perfectly.

The waiter directed him to one of the tables in the middle of the room. What else could he have expected?

You loved to shine.

But your excuse was that it was darkest under the streetlight.

That's why you always met in public places in full view.

The black dress barely reached mid-thigh and the shiny jewelry added sex appeal to you. You slowly sipped your champagne, watching the view of the illuminated city outside the window. Even the fact that Javier approached the table and sat down opposite you, didn't distract you. Only a smirk appeared on your lips as you took another sip of champagne.

He watched you in silence for a moment before he sighed and looked at the view outside the window himself. From this perspective, the city looked like paradise. It was a shame that so much shit was happening on its streets.

Shit that you were also responsible for.

“We could be quite successful together on the streets of this city,” you said lightly. Javier glanced at you but didn’t comment on your words. He had long since grown tired of refusing you such cooperation.

You took the last sip of champagne and finally turned your gaze to him. Damn piercing.

He wondered how you would look at him as he pushed his cock inside you.

“Not nice of you to keep me waiting,” you smacked your lips disapprovingly and glanced at the watch on your wrist. “As much as seven minutes,” you added, raising your eyebrows in amusement. “We should respect each other’s time, wouldn’t you agree?” you asked confidently.

He watched you in silence and really wished he could wipe that smirk off your face.

Javier couldn't remember the last time he hated someone as much as you and wanted someone so damn much at the same time.

Kill you or fuck you? He saw no difference.

“Sorry,” he commented briefly, without an ounce of sympathy. You smiled wider.

“I accept your apology. Champagne?” you suggested, pointing to the bottle between you. Javier declined with a shake of his head.

“I’m driving,” he explained, to which you nodded in understanding. Suddenly, a waiter appeared out of nowhere, placing a meal in front of you. If that was what you could call a piece of meat with a few unnecessary decorations.

“Disfrute de su comida,” the waiter said with a pleasant smile. You returned the gesture, taking the cutlery.

“Gracias,” you replied with a warm smile.

Javier watched you silently like a predator. You always had impeccable manners. You were always so damn nice and polite. You made him sick.

How on earth were you complicit in so many bad things?

How on earth do you pull the trigger on so many people's heads and look like an angel at the same time?

You began to eat your meal gracefully. And as usual, he didn't even touch his. Nothing new, and yet you ordered for him every time.

“I see you’re not very talkative today so I suggest we get straight to business,” you suggested, chewing on a piece of meat and taking a sip of champagne.

Javier wordlessly pulled out a stack of papers from inside his jacket and placed it on the table between you. You put down the cutlery and picked up the briefcase. You began to look through its contents in silence. You took your time. You had to be sure that everything you wanted was in it.

"Family information is classified even for me," he said immediately to forestall your question. You glanced at him for a moment and then started reading again.

“We both know you can if you want to, Agent Peña,” you replied with a smirk. Javier clenched his jaw, watching closely as your fingers gently turned the pages. How your lips tightened in concentration. How your eyes followed the text intently.

Fuck, he was getting hard just by looking at you.

"I won't risk my job because of your whims," ​​he said in a slightly lower tone. You looked at him, raising your eyebrows with a smile.

"Aren't you already doing that? Sitting at the same table with me? Talking to me without witnesses and without handcuffs?" you asked with that sly glint in your eye.

Yeah, he was getting harder.

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. You snorted slightly when you didn't get an answer from him. You went back to reading the data and Javier was tempted to pour himself that damn champagne. He had to drink something. He couldn't be fully focused on you or he would go crazy.

You glanced at him, observing his actions but didn't comment on it. He poured himself half a glass and drank it all in one go.

"Hard day at work?" you asked lightly without looking away from the papers. Javier looked at you and put the glass on the table.

"No more than yours," he snapped. He couldn't help the venom in his voice. But you got used to it.

"No, my day was exceptionally pleasant," you replied, reading another sheet of paper.

"Sure, taking your own shit is pleasant," he said with disgust and leaned back heavily in the chair. You laughed quietly under your breath.

"You'll be surprised, but my life doesn't revolve around cocaine."

"Oh yeah?" he raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. You looked up at him with a gentle smile.

Fuck, you looked so cute.

So sexy.

His dick twitched.

“Yes,” you nodded. “I went bowling with my nephews,” you said happily. He clenched his jaw tighter.

His sexual frustration was boiling through his veins like poison.

“But I killed a few people in my five-minute break. Just for fun,” you teased him and winked.

You closed the folder and put it in your bag. You took a deep breath and sipped your champagne.

“I’m not satisfied. There are a few things missing,” you announced before you started eating again.

Javier straightened up and poured himself some champagne again. This time he began to calmly sip the fizzy alcohol as he leaned his elbows on the table.

“I gave you too much already,” he replied raising an eyebrow.

“I disagree,” you replied swallowing the meat and you looked up at him. “Don’t treat me the way you wouldn’t want to be treated,” you said seriously.

Javier sipped his champagne watching your cold gaze.

“You expect me to give you full information?” you asked raising an eyebrow. “Then give me the same in return,” you added seriously.

Jesus, he loved it when you talked to him as if he were a disobedient dog.

"Otherwise, our cooperation won't need to continue," you announced, starting to cut another piece of meat. "I don't need you as much as you think," you noted indifferently. And Javier knew you were right.

He needed you more than you needed him.

He nodded, sipping his champagne.

“So give me today something that’s worth the information I gave you,” he announced, trying to get to safe ground. He knew when to back off. And that was the moment.

You put the cutlery on your plate and looked at him.

“Your information is worth shit,” you said seriously and reached your hand to your bra between your breasts. Javier couldn’t help but stare at your movements. “But unlike you, I keep my word.” You pulled a small piece of paper out of your bra and held it out to him.

He looked at the small piece of paper and reached for it, deliberately brushing his fingers against yours.

Your skin was so damn soft and cold compared to his.

And he couldn’t help but think that he’d want to help you warm up.

He unfolded the folded piece of paper and read the address in his mind.

Fuck, even your handwriting was perfect.

“More cocaine will pass through this house on Friday night than will fit in your ridiculous agency,” you explained, and he immediately put the note in his pocket, mentally jotting down everything you said. His agent instincts immediately kicked in. He watched as you calmly sipped your champagne, your tongue licking up a stray drop.

Were you doing that on purpose so he couldn’t concentrate?

“Few people, lots of stuff. Something you like,” you said with a forced smile. He loved how reluctant you both were to share information with each other.

Maybe you weren’t so different after all?

Apart from the important fact that you were on opposite sides of the law.

"This is going to be a big operation for which you will get a certificate and a brave scout badge," you teased. "So I expect you to leave me alone for at least a month after this," you added seriously placing your empty glass on the table. You wiped your lips on a napkin leaving a trace of lipstick on it.

Your meeting was coming to an end.

“No promises,” he replied with a smirk. You forced a fake smile, looking at him with reluctance.

“Don’t fuck with me, Agent Peña. None of us will benefit from this,” you warned before getting up from the table. You adjusted your dress that had ridden up your thighs and his gaze didn’t leave yours for a second. “Keep an eye on my bag,” you said indifferently and headed towards the bathroom.

Javier watched your hips sway from side to side with every step and he felt like a hungry animal. You disappeared behind the wall and he immediately looked at your bag. His leg started to bounce nervously as a very stupid idea started to form in his head.

Well, sometimes he had to admit that he thought with a different head than the one on his neck.

In a second he stood up taking your bag and followed you. He looked towards the men's room before quickly slipping into the women's room.

You were washing your hands when you heard someone come in. You looked up and in the reflection in the mirror you saw Javier watching you carefully. You frowned turning towards him.

"What are you-" you started but you were interrupted by the sound of the door lock closing. You looked at his hand feeling your pulse speed up.

Javier quickly crossed the distance between you and in one move threw your bag on the sink before he grabbed you by the cheeks and attacked your lips.

You moaned in surprise stepping back from his strength. He pressed your hips against the sink not letting you move away. His kisses were so strong and intense that you were unable to fight him. You clenched your fists on his shirt when his tongue crept into your mouth and immediately dominated yours. You moaned as you felt him rub his hips against yours and his hard cock made itself known.

You finally gathered enough strength to push him away from you. Javier took a step back, giving you a moment of respite. You looked at each other, breathing heavily.

You were in shock at what had happened and he was even more shocked that he had done it at all.

"What the fuck, Peña?" you gasped, swallowing hard. Javier was silent for a moment, his gaze only gaining intensity.

"I'm checking if fucking with you will bring any benefits," he replied confidently before he closed the distance between you again and turned you towards the mirror in one move. You leaned your hands against the sink as he pinned you with his hips again.

You began to breathe heavily as his hands pulled up your dress exposing your hips. You watched in the reflection as he focused on unbuttoning his pants before pulling out his cock with a sigh of satisfaction.

His gaze found yours in the mirror before you felt him start to slide his dick over your ass.

“Feel it?” he asked raising his eyebrows. “How hard I am just from your fuckin’ bullshit,” he growled and slammed his cock on your butt. You gasped for air when he ripped your panties apart in one move.

"They were expensive," you mumbled, tightening your fingers on the sink. His tip ran over your wet slit, spreading the moisture that had already leaked out of you.

"I'll buy you new ones," he said before he pushed into you with a strong movement, entering all the way.

You screamed in pain, resting your hand on the mirror and looking at his reflection with hatred. Javier tangled his hand in your hair and pulled you back, making you moan, arching your back.

"Be a good girl for once," he mumbled against your ear, maintaining eye contact with you in the mirror. You clenched your jaw tightly, holding back the urge to spit on his reflection.

A sly smirk appeared on his lips before he began to thrust into you. Hard and deep. Making you unable to hold back your moans.

His grip on your hair tightened, holding you in place. Every movement of his hips was damn precise, hitting your weak spot. His growls echoed off the bathroom walls as he watched his cock disappear inside you.

“Your pussy is just as harsh as your mouth,” he panted, catching your gaze in the mirror before he tugged on your hair, tilting your head to the side.

You hissed in pain and then pleasure as his lips bit into your neck, beginning to suck and nibble. You closed your eyes, feeling the pain mix with pleasure with each thrust of his hips.

“Did you ever wonder what they would do to you if you went to prison?” he murmured against your skin and began to place wet kisses along your length, all the way to your shoulder. “With a face like that, you better not end up there, right?” he began to nibble on your arm and his hand dove between you and the sink.

“Are you threatening me?” you gasped.

“I’m warning you,” he replied before his fingers found your clit. You moaned as he began to massage it perfectly in time with his hips.

Your orgasm was approaching with great strides.

“Do you know how many things I could do to you if you were handcuffed?” he asked, looking at your face contorted in pleasure. “You would be begging me to stop,” he growled against your ear, speeding up his thrusts. You moaned, fighting for the tiniest bit of oxygen. “Fuckin’ slut,” he growled, looking down as his hips slammed against yours with a loud slap.

"Don't let yourself, dog," you growled, looking at him with hatred. Not only was the cop fucking you, but he was also being too self-conscious with his words. He laughed bitterly then growled feeling you slowly tighten around him more and more often.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," he mumbled massaging your clit harder. You whimpered and your knees trembled. "I'm supposedly on the other side and yet inside you," he said with superiority. "Irony of fate, huh?" he mumbled with a smile of satisfaction and you felt your legs start to tremble. "And now you're going to cum from my cock," he laughed bitterly. "But don't worry," he whispered in your ear. "I won't tell anyone about that." He bit your earlobe sending waves of shivers straight between your legs.

You gasped moaning when you came so hard that Javier hissed in pain. He let go of your hair making you stumble against the mirror, supporting yourself with your hand at the last moment.

His hands tightened on your hips as he pushed into you further. You gasped for air as you felt the waves of your orgasm spread through your body. He growled in his throat before pulling out of you and grabbing his cock, pumping it a few times before he came on your ass with a groan.

You were both breathing heavily after your orgasm when Javier reached for the tissues by the sink and wiped his cum from your skin.

"See?"

Your eyes met in the mirror.

"Like I was never here," he said, throwing the tissue into the trash and hiding his cock in his underwear, buttoning his pants.

He slapped your ass and growled in satisfaction at seeing it shake before straightening your dress.

"See you in a month," he winked and headed for the exit. He unlocked the door and stopped before leaving. He glanced at you over his shoulder with a sly smile. "Unless you miss me sooner." And he left.

-> (part 2 "Forbidden fruit”)

[hihomeghere]

UGH! Holy crap! You did so well with the Five smut! I love me a good soft dom y/n 🤭😩. So how about a fluff? Five and Y/n are working together at the commission and Five gets injured, he thinks Y/n will just continue fighting because her job is very important to her but as soon as Y/n sees Five in pain she grabs him and rushes him away from the fighting and the bad guys get away. Five's all aloof like "Why would you do that? I know how much your job means to you" and Y/n's bandaging him up and saying "Well maybe you mean more"

Et tu, Brute? | Five Hargreeves / F!Reader

First off, thank you for your kind words! I hope this lives up to what you had imagined! Word Count : 1.2k, a little guy Warnings/Tags : Gore, stabbing, hospital setting, blood, fluff, Aged up!Five, I do not own the umbrella academy or any of it's characters. Tiny bit of angst but mostly fluff, cursing.

“Five!” You yelled, Five felt someone punch his lower back. He turned and swung at the target behind him. His fist connected with the man’s temple, knocking him to his knees. Seriously, a back shot? Why had you been so worried in the first place? He reached back to rub the dull pain on his back when his fingers connected with the handle of a blade. There was a knife in his back. He fought every urge to pull it out, knowing he would be in a worse situation after doing something like that. If he wasn’t so disappointed by his lack of situational awareness skills, he would have laughed. Getting stabbed in the back, really? Where were the 22 senators waiting in the shadows? 

Missions are never this easy, he should have seen the obvious trap. Cornering one target before another sneaks up behind you. You let out a groan of pain as the man’s fist connects with your cheek. You stagger back, your hand covering your cheek. You flipped your hair back, passing a glance at him. Your face immediately fell.

“No!” You yelled, reaching out to him as the knife was pulled out from his back. His legs gave out from under him, his knees smashing against the pavement below him. Just another injury to add to the list. What a stellar partner you are Five. He hung his head, tears pricking in his eyes, hot and heavy as they fell down his cheeks. The target behind him ran, taking his knife with him. You jumped, twirling your body as your foot connected with the target's face. Sending him sprawling onto the pavement. 

He twisted his arm wildly behind him, trying to cover the gushing slimy blood. He had less than five minutes until he bled out, oh the irony of it all. You sprinted over to him, dropping to your knees.

“Fuck!” You hissed as your hand pressed over the hole on his back. Five cried out, bile rising up into his throat. He clamped his jaw shut, keeping any cries and puke in. Millions of tiny needles seemed to be digging into his skin. 

“Can you walk?” Your voice sounded miles away, like you were yelling at him from one side of the Grand Canyon. Your hair had fallen into your face, your wide eyes staring into his. He tried blinking the black spots that filled his vision away.

“Et tu, Brute?” He whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion as Five chuckled to himself. His hearing was slowly going, like he had been plunged underwater. 

“Fuck it.” You grumbled setting the briefcase down in front of you both. No. You wouldn’t. He looked back at one of the targets, still lying on the ground. There was no way you would throw away a mission like this, not for him. He reached out, his cold fingers covering yours.

“No,” he groaned, bile rising up in his throat as the spots returned to his vision.

“Yes.” You said through gritted teeth as you turned to glare at him, “I’m not letting you die here” You said as your sticky red stained hand encased his own. As you clicked open the briefcase, Five succumbed to the darkness.

-

The incessant beeping of machines woke Five up. He snapped his eyes open, the bright led lights blinding him momentarily. He sat up, hissing as his back throbbed. No doubt pulling on his stitches.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright.” Your soft voice soothed as your hand covered his shoulder as you gingerly pressed him back down on the bed. 

“What?” He croaked, his throat dry and scratchy.

“You lost a lot of blood so just take it easy, Caesar.” you teased pulling your chair closer to his bed. Tubes were attached to his arms, liquids pumping into his body. 

“How long was I out?” He asked, turning to look at you, you had changed out of your suit. A soft sweater hanging off one of your shoulders, your cheek had a bit of purple bruising. You sighed, shaking your head, a small smile pulling on your lips.

“Already thinking about work?” You breathed, a weak excuse of a distraction.

“Tell me.” He said propping himself up on his elbows, the sharp pull on his stitches making him wince.

“Just two days.” You said as your hands returned to his shoulders, pressing him back against the bed. He relented, rolling his eyes as he laid back down. 

“And the target?” You pursed your lips, smoothing out his blanket. “Y/n.” He furrowed his brows watching you avoid the question. 

“I’m gonna get enough shit from the Handler so can you just-”  You stopped, shaking your head, “Can you just say thanks for saving my life.” You tried to play it off as a joke, but he caught the slight waver in your voice. 

“Why did you let them get away?” Why didn’t you let me die, is what he wanted to ask. It’s not like you owed him any loyalty. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I’m still not hearing a thank you.” You teased, your gaze raising to meet him.

“Thank you.” He rolled his eyes, sitting in the comfortable silence between the two of you. It was something he could appreciate, knowing neither of you had to say something to fill up the space. You could just be. But the question still nagged at him in the back of his mind, why? Why did you let them get away? You could have easily left Five to bleed out. One of the targets was unconscious in front of you for god's sake. Not to mention this damn place was your life. As much as he hated your undying loyalty, he also admired it. Found some sort of resemblance of himself in you, for Five his siblings pushed him to keep going. His reason to get up everyday, to save them. For you, it was the commission.“I know how much this job means to you.” You narrowed your gaze, tilting your head slightly. A smile began to spread across your face before you looked down at your hands. 

“Maybe you mean more.” You said as you shrugged. Five was sure his heart had stopped beating, but the EKG continued its steady beeping.

“Oh.” He said, unable to think of anything smart to say.

“Can’t have my partner dying on me.” You teased, lightly shoving his shoulder. He sat frozen like an idiot, watching as you stood up brushing your hands off on your pants. “Rest up, now that you’re awake I can’t avoid the Handler any longer.” You rolled your eyes as you leaned against the door to his room. “You owe me for that by the way.” 

“Apparently me being asleep has helped you avoid that witch for longer than you should have. So you owe me.” He said, raising his eyebrows. You crossed your arms, scoffing in false offense. 

“Even on death's doorstep you find a way to be a sarcastic little shit.” You laughed, Five couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. 

“Please, you love it.” He said with a smirk.

“Maybe I do.” You returned his smirk before you walked down the hall and out of sight. 

Five’s usual smugness returned to him in all its glory. He rested his hands behind his head, getting more comfortable in the hospital bed. Maybe getting stabbed had its perks.

[kanekisfavoritegf]

Paranoia

Click here! For Pt. 1 : SHAMELESS

This actually took forever cause of my hiatus and severe writers block so I'm super sorry :((

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI you will be blocked!🩷

Warnings: Smut, BJ, face fucking Cucking, rough sex, kinda deranged Sukuna, breading, hate sex, voyeurism, exhibitionist, mentions of prior infidelity. Sukuna x reader x toji??? (more in the first part)

Sukuna had been living in a state of paranoia.

Ever since your son had been born, he’d been taking notice of how different they looked.

He wouldn’t say anything to you. Not until three months in when one day at work…

He was in Toji’s office going over some business plans for a big upcoming merger. He was about to leave when his eyes flicked to a framed photo on his desk. His heart dropped for a second before rising once again to its rightful place when he realised it was a baby photo of Megumi, circa 2003.

“Your son?” He nodded to the image.

Toji smirked a little before nodding, “Yeah, he is now four, about to be five in a few weeks. Time really goes by fast.”

“He looks exactly like you.”

“Yeah, he always has, even when he was a newborn.” Toji fought off the incoming smirk.

Sukuna’s brain clogs were slowly turning as he pierced everything together. Anger simmered in his blood.

“Cute runt.”

“How old’s your kid now anyway, Ryo? Like two months?”

“Three.”

“Cute.” Tojis said not really caring to look up from his screen.

Half an hour after Sukuna left his office, he felt his eye twitch every other minute. It was like there was a devil on both his shoulders. One telling him to get a paternity test and kick you to the curb, the other telling him to call you to his office and make you suck his dick until he wasn't angry at you anymore.

Option one would definitely solve his paranoia, but he would lose you. And Sukuna refuses to give up his favourite treasures, especially not to Toji of all people. He’d rather kill you than have him call you his wife.

Totally very sane.

So option two it is.

When Sukuna’s assistant called telling you to come, with no explanation. You honestly felt the air leave your lungs. You knew he knew, and he knew that you knew that he knew. But none of you acknowledged it. You don’t know why.

You had a plan the day Toji left your house the morning after you two defiled every single wall in yours and Sukuna’s shared home. You planned to leave your husband and start a new life. But then it hit you. Guilt like no other. A guilt that had left you crying for half the week and drinking for the rest.

Upon your husband's arrival, he pulled you into his embrace, covering your face with kisses and shoving an expensive bouquet your way and a diamond necklace in his briefcase. His form of apologising was gift-giving. Along with eating you out right there on the floor, until, you had made a mess of his face.

How could you leave him after one measly fight? How could you cheat on him after a small hiccup in the relationship? This was your marriage and you acted like a complete whore. You let temporary emotions and anxiety take control of your vagina and like a shark smelling blood you raced your way to the closest dick you could find.

And everything just went down hill after you found out you were pregnant. The anxiety of finding out who was the father killed you. You spent many tearful nights hoping your child’s face would grow to resemble your husband more. But that wasn't the case. So you did your best to be the perfect wife and stay in his good graces, for how could you lose the love of your life?

So there you stood, at the door of the meeting room knocking softly at its smooth wood. You fiddled with your hair and straightened out your dress as you waited for your husband's response.

“Come in.” The voice was deep, like your husband's but its specific rasp had you hesitating as you turned the door knob.

“Hi, sweetheart.” The scar on his mouth twisted with his smile. He looked overjoyed to be here. And you couldn’t be any more annoyed at him.

“Why are you here?” Your voice was laced with annoyance.

“Baby, that’s not how you greet people.”

“Don’t call me baby Toji.”

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He stated, eyes piercing yours.

“So?”

“So, you have my kid-”

“Could you keep it down!” You slammed the door shut behind you, hoping no one overheard. “Sukuna is the father, not you.”

“You have MY kid, Y/N, my kid, and you don’t talk to me. You barely even look at me.”

“Because I have a HUSBAND and a life I want.” You shook your head at him.

“That’s not what you said last year.”

“Is that why you called me here? To try and convince me to leave my husband?”

“He is here because I invited him.” You jumped from your position. Turning to face your husband with a shocked face.

“Ryomen.” You put on your best smile, trying to keep it together as you stare at him; paying no mind to the growing grim expression of your past lover, or for better words, past mistake.

“My love.” He smiled with a twinkle of something dangerous in his eyes.

“Why did you invite him here?” You watched as he locked the door behind him, closing all the curtains and stalking down the long table passed all the empty chairs. Until he reached the end. The CEO’s chair.

He sat himself down and looked at you, raising his eyebrow until you got the hint, and hurried your cute self onto his lap.

“Hello, my wife.” His head pressed into your neck roughly, taking in the scent of you. “God, you smell amazing.”

“Sukuna, Toji is here.” You sighed out dreamily as Sukuna busied himself with kissing your neck.

“You are truly a shameless slut.” You froze in your movements.

“What?” Your voice shook.

“Oh, I was talking to Toji, but I guess it can apply to you too.” Your heart had now dropped to the pits of your stomach. Was this it? Was this the end of your marriage?

“Sukuna wai-”

“Shut up.”

“Ryomen, please.” His hands grasped your hair tightly, moving you off of his lap and onto the floor. All the while, Toji watched with a smile on his face. This was it for him. The moment in which Sukuna would kick you to the curb and let him have you. At least, that’s what he thought.

“Suck my dick.” Sukuna didn’t even give you time to process what he demanded, because as soon as your mouth was open he plunged his length down your throat. Groaning at the feeling of your immediate gags. You begged him to kick Toji out with your eyes, pleading for privacy as he used you.

“You know, I watched the clips of you screwing my wife over and over.” Your husband's attention was fully on Toji now, as held on to your hair. Staring him down as Toji watched on, not giving a response to Sukuna’s obvious attempt to get to him.

“You made it seem like they were erased, but I only had to put in a little effort to find the security camera's videos on your hard drive.”

His hand guided the movements of your head so roughly, tears already streamed down your face.

“If I didn’t want you to find them, Sukuna, I wouldn’t have let you.” Toji finally gave a response back.

“Now, now. Is that any way to talk to your boss?” He tutted at him. Smiling at the growing annoyance on Toji’s face.

“The one mistake you made wasn’t fucking my wife, or trying to take my child.” He scoffed at him. “It was thinking I’d ever let my wife go.” Sukuna had pulled his now fully erect cock out of your mouth and slapped it against your tear-stained cheeks. You used this time to breathe and rest as he assaulted your face with more slaps. But this reprieve didn't last long, as he was plunging back into your mouth as he continued talking to Toji.

“You what? Thought I didn’t know she was a whore the day I married her?” You couldn't help but moan at your husband's words, rubbing yourself down onto his shining shoe. “I mean just look at her, humping my leg like a bitch in heat.”

And as you completely ignored the attention of your past love, Sukuna came to the resolution that he’d never leave you. Not ever. He would punish you for all your worth. But leave you? Never. You were like a drug to him, an incubus who had her fangs lodged deep into his soul. So, while yes, he was angry at you for sleeping with another man, he realised he just needed to fuck the much-needed sense back into you.

And that's when Sukuna decided to fuck you until the very idea of Toji had been completely erased. Again and again.

Sitting prettily on the table, Toji was forced to watch Sukuna take you over and over just like he did all those months ago.

You made no attempt to be quiet because you knew you would be met with Sukuna’s hand squeezing your cheeks, forcing them open as he plowed into you. Every moan and every whine was one pulled from your husband, as he took you, sitting on the table.

Toji’s eyes were kept to the ground until Sukuna noticed his aversion to the scene.

“Look at my wife while I fuck her, Toji. You know what you put me through this year? You should be beaten bloody and fired. You have it easy. Now, watch her face as I make her cum.”

Even with his eyes pressed on yours as they rolled back in pleasure, Sukuna didn't stop his verbal attacks at the man. Continuing to talk as he fucked through another orgasm.

“I’d fuck your wife to prove a point, but she’s dead already, isn’t she?”

“She’s always been a screamer but listen to her now. Any louder and someone might hear through the soundproof walls.”

“Do you miss fucking her?”

“God she's always so tight and wet.”

“Look at how lovely my wife squeezes around me.”

Wanting a change of position, Sukuna thought it best to throw you over Toji’s lap as he took you from behind.

“Don’t touch what isn't yours.” Your husband warned as Toji went to pat your head as you drooled over his lap and his very prominent hard-on.

“Ryo—fuck. Break. Plea-Oh fuck.” You tried pleading for a break.

“Nuh-uh, baby. We are gonna keep going until I say so.

Pressing your nails into Toji's thighs for stability only caused him to groan out in pleasure.

“Oh. You like watching me fuck my belongings?” Sukuna laughed at Toji’s glare. Knowing that if he tried to leave, it would be over for him, he'd lose his job, along with you.

Slowing his movements down a little, Sukuna reveled at the way you shuddered over his cock. He was getting close and could feel it.”

“Should we give our baby boy a sibling? Hm? A girl or a boy? I think I want another boy. What do you think, baby?”

You gave no response, only the moan of a cock drunk whore.

“Since my wife can’t answer. Toji, tell me. Should I give my son a sibling?”

After being met with silence again. Your husband took it upon himself, cumming in you, triggering your climax immediately after.

You fell to the ground, your weak legs giving in after The hard fucking they withstood. Cum seeped out of you and onto the floor. “What are you doing? Get up. How many times did it take for it to stick in the security footage?” He asked you, keeping eye contact with the other man as he spoke. “I want to make sure you leave full.”

Taglist: @mcnooberton @watyousayin @lazullywinter @llovergirlll @sanrioglocks @ramonathinks

[noroi1000]

That snow leopard (18+)

Snow leopard Gojo x fem reader

Summary: You found a snow leopard that looked sick. You took him for tests, but your friend told you he couldn't stay in the building. You brought him home with you because you couldn't let him go free like this.  But why does this snow leopard suddenly have a human body? Why did he consider you his mate? Are you to be the mother of his kittens?

Warnings: NSFW

Inspired by the comic SatoSugu (snow leopard Gojo x Geto) by @xo-romiiarts.

Words: 2.9k

Part two

"I don't think you should take a wild snow leopard out of its natural habitat." your friend said when she brought in the research papers. "Besides, we don't have room for him to be here yet."

"Shoko, I couldn't leave him. It was terribly cold. He looked sick." You replied looking at the caged animal in front of you.

"And you want him to live on the nature reserve?"

"Yes. It will be easier for him there. Much easier. In addition, it is easier to get used to a young individual than an older one. He has recently entered adulthood as a male. This is a young male snow leopard. Tests show he's fine."

"Yes. And females from the zoo and Nature Reserve could get a breeding partner."

She put the sheets of paper in a briefcase and placed it on the cage where the animal was sleeping.

He was fine. No injury, no disease.

But from what you know, sometimes young animals do not tolerate the first mating season well. Because they don't yet know how far they can go to find a mate.

From what you've learned in your life as a veterinarian, you know that some male snow leopards have a mate and stick together. Although mostly snow leopards are solitary, some stay closer to their mate.

You've never seen snow leopards mate for life. But if snow leopards had a human mind, they'd have a mate. You've been trying to understand this lately. That's why you understood that if any male had a human mind, he would stay with the mate.

Because he will feel that it will be easier to live with a partner. That a baby will be born. So the snow leopard male will feel that it is best to live with a mate for the rest of his life.

But it wasn't possible for some wild animal to get a human mind.

"You have to take him from here. We don't have permission to keep snow leopards here." your friend said as she looked at the computer.

"Shall I take him home?" You asked incredulously.

"Yes. You can take him home. You can even sign a contract to take care of him. Since you once said that you would like to have a snow leopard as a pet. You like them a lot, don't you?"

"Yeah..." you grunted as you crouched down in front of a wild cat whose eyes were closed.

He's not sick. He just didn't get a mate and is frustrated that he's failing. Besides, the weather where you found him isn't ideal either. He was lying in a cave as if he had an existential crisis.

Well, as if he was acting like a human. Like a man.

But you must think so.

"Could I do something like that?! Have him at home?!" You screamed as you realized what the brunette had said.

"Yeah. You can have such a pet. Probably the only condition you will be given is to keep it in exemplary health, and also to serve as a breeding partner for the females living in the zoo."

"How can I do that?" you asked.

You wanted to take him home. You don't want to set him free when you know that with that attitude (like a guy with no sex?) he won't live well there. You also don't want him to live in a zoo. Because at first he will panic because of the amount of people around him.

And you also want a snow leopard. Since he's young, he'll get used to you.

You decided to take him home with you, because since there is no place here. There was no way the cage would fit in the car, so you took the sleeping animal and put it in the back seat. You hoped he wouldn't wake up. So you drove as fast as you could but also as carefully as you could. Because anything can wake him up. And you were afraid that he would be aggressive.

You had a much-needed muzzle in the trunk to put this on his face at home. You don't want him to kill you while you sleep. You have an office at home. You'll just lock him in there and maybe put a collar on him to tie him to the wall with a rope. You really don't want to hurt him, but it's for your safety. Because without it, he can escape.

This is quite a large individual. You had a hard time getting him in and out of the car. But you managed to get him by dragging the cat across the floor on a blanket.

Once he was in your office, you looked at the fluffy fur on his tail. On the whole body. So clean and tidy. You gently placed the collar strap around his neck and attached the reinforced rope to the heavy metal cabinet you had there. You were about to muzzle him, but then your compassion for animals kicked in. He was put down a few hours ago. He neither ate nor drank. That's why you put the exhaust muzzle away. You filled a metal bowl with water and placed it near the animal.

At that moment, as you look at him, you saw the cat's eyes slightly open and you quickly pulled away. But the blue eyes closed. How could a wild cat have such human eyes?

You moved out the door and locked it, staring at the animal through the tall window in the door.

Has he woken up yet?

Can you really tame it??

It's normal for people to have different pets. Even those that are predators in their natural environment. Crocodiles, other wild cats. So it wouldn't be a problem if you had a snow leopard, right? Besides, you want to study him. Because he is very different from others of his species...

When you went to bed, you were sure that your security would hold. A collar with a reinforced cord? This is just so that the leashed animal can't chew through it. And the door is not thin either. You doubt he'll break down the door. And he doesn't have the hands to open it anyway. You locked the door from the outside. You'd be even safer if you muzzled him. However, he may injure himself if, for example, he tries to take it off with his paws.

Even if this species jumps high, you doubt it will be able to break the glass in the door and open the lock from the outside. Because that's not possible.

You left him water, and in the morning you will try to feed him. You will give him the meat that was meant to be cooked for your dinner.

Lying with your head on the pillow, you wondered what it would be like to have a snow leopard as a pet ... You're sure it will be very nice when he becomes attached to you and will be so cute.

walks? You'll be able to have it all the time. Feed, caress. He just needs to get used to you and be nice. It's enough that he recognizes you as his mate.

Your thoughts were interrupted by small sounds coming from another part of your house.

"He probably woke up." you groaned as you looked towards your bedroom door.

It was very quiet in the house since you lived alone. That's why you heard everything this animal could do.

You were a vet. You knew he'd calm down in time once he'd come to terms with the fact that he wasn't going to run away. You'll start getting him used to you from tomorrow.

But as you turned over to fall asleep, you heard the sound of breaking glass.

Your eyes widened and your legs quickly popped out from under the covers as you ran down the hall in your pajamas to see what happened.

You froze when you saw something you thought was impossible. Your office door was open and the window was broken. Shards of glass lay on the floor.

You turned around to see if anyone was there. Nobody was there.

Someone broke in? After all, a snow leopard couldn't break the glass and open the door. Someone is trying to steal it?

You cautiously approached the door and hesitantly turned on the light in your office.

The corridors were lit. Because it will be easier for you to see the burglar.

Your hand grabbed the doorknob and, careful of the glass on the floor, you walked in.

To see that the leash you put on the animal is unfastened. The water has been drunk. Nothing is broken apart from the glass in the door.

It's not possible for an animal to do something like that.

You left there to get to the phone and call the police.

However, as you passed the kitchen, you caught a glimpse of something fluffy on the floor.

You turned to see the tip of the tail twitching. The rest of the animal behind the wall.

You have to make sure that the wild animal doesn't run away from the house to the street... That he won't be a danger to people around.

You have to lock him in the office to later call the police about the burglary.

You grabbed a broom from the storage room next to the study and walked slowly with the stick.

You don't want to hit him. You want something to protect yourself from if he attacks you. You made a bigger step to see the whole body of the big cat at once.

More and more of the tail was visible to you. More and more.

Until suddenly you saw human skin.

You were afraid someone was holding a snow leopard. However, as you looked further, you noticed that the tail was sticking out from the bottom of the man's back.

The tip of the tail twitches with joy.

You saw a naked man sitting on the floor. The tail that followed him. Ears identical to those of the snow cat that was in your office.

As you took one more step forward, his ear on his head moved and he turned his head towards you. Lips stained with cream from the cupcakes you bought.

Your hands trembled as you saw the sharp eyes staring at you menacingly.

When the half-cat man turned half to you with the same stare, you took a step back.

He had the same eyes as the snow leopard that looked at you in your office... And there's no indication that it's a burglary... What's going on here?!

Isn't the snow leopard that was in your house actually a snow leopard?!

You held the broomstick firmly towards him.

You saw how long and fluffy gray speckled tail was moving slightly. His ears pricked up as he looked at you.

Suddenly, his tongue licked the cream off his lips.

Was he so hungry that he ate sweets from the fridge?

His nose twitched and then his pupils dilated as he stared at you. He tilted his head slightly to the side.

You couldn't register the movement. And you don't know how it happened, but now you were lying on your back on the floor with a naked man above you staring at you.

His nose was moving again. Hands with longer, sharper nails on either side of your head.

The broomstick was still in your hand. But you couldn't move.

Especially when you saw the one above you open its mouth, showing its sharp teeth.

You closed your eyes and whispered not to kill you. But you know very well that if it's that snow leopard and maybe you have delusions that it looks like a human, he won't understand you.

Suddenly you felt something warm and wet against your neck as it slid over your skin.

You looked in panic at the head with ears in white hair that was next to your neck.

You never knew snow leopards lick their prey...

His clawed fingers gripped your jaw as he laid your head on its side, digging his nose into your neck.

"You–." He spoke up and you widened your eyes hearing him speak.

You gripped the stick tighter and slapped it on the side, causing it to fall sideways, revealing an escape route for you.

You have to call the police!

You got up despite the shock and ran away in tears, heading for your bedroom.

"Human! Wait!" you heard a call behind you.

But you slammed your bedroom door and locked it.

You started looking for your phone. And when you found it, you panicked and couldn't find the phone icon in the apps. You couldn't find it! Your hands trembled in fear. And as you tilted the phone slightly to the side, it fell out of your hands.

And you heard the door slam behind you. And as you slowly turned around to see the naked man from earlier, you felt your body being pushed down onto the bed.

You were trapped under a larger, naked body.

"L-Let go! Leave me! N-No!" You screamed as his hands gripped yours.

"Human..." he growled, and you suddenly fell silent with tears in your eyes. "You brought me here to be my mate, right?"

His face hovered above yours as he spoke.

"So be a good mate and take off those clothes!"

He tugged at your pajamas until he suddenly tore the material, leaving you without it.

His lips were on your throat as he licked your skin. It wasn't aggressive behavior. It was like a kitten licking skin.

In a partnership way...

"Who are you?!" you screamed, trying to push his chest away.

The tail brushed against your thigh.

"I'm Satoru. The snow leopard you brought." He said before biting your neck. "You'll make a good mate. I couldn't have had a better one~"

"M-Mate?!"

"You will be my mate. That's why you brought me here, right? To breed."

"N-Nie! It's not like that! I'm a vet! I found you and I thought you were sick!"

"But you'll still be my mate. You are so fertile and perfect to be the mother of my kittens~."

You changed and looked at Him. It's his instinct, right? is he human? No... He said he's a snow leopard... So can he turn into a human?

His tongue reached your bare breasts and began to bite and lick you there. He may have thought you'd be the perfect mother for his kittens. You'll fit a lot of milk so that they'll be fed to their hearts' content.

Then he cuddled up to your belly. And he was just thinking that his kitties would have enough space inside of you to develop properly.

And then he buried his nose next to your pussy in your groin, feeling you fertile and ready to impregnate.

"Mate, your name?"

"...(y-y/n)..."

"(y/n)... Sweet name. Perfect for my mate for life. The perfect mother for my children. Your body is so fertile and ready to receive my seed. Ready to hold my kittens and then give birth to them and feed them with your milk."

His tongue licked the long strap on your pussy. Making you feel like you're about to get wet.

It's not that bad. He's human... Besides, he won't let you go.

I guess that's not a bad thing...

He turned you onto your stomach, grabbing your hips to make you kneel. But your chest stayed on the mattress as you rested your hands on it.

His teeth lightly dug in and bit your neck and shoulders as he rubbed his hard length between your pussy lips.

You felt the little spikes on his tip rubbing against your clit, making you sensitive.

He has feline features... His dick is big, smooth as human. But you can clearly feel the little spikes on the tip. Just like cats do. You've been a vet too long not to know this...

As you felt him stop at your slippery entrance, you started to panic a bit.

"W-Wait..."

"Don't worry. I won't hurt my mate. It won't hurt. Just give up and let me breed you politely."

You felt his length digging into you. His hips pressed against yours.

His fluffy tail wrapped around your ankle as your legs were spread.

His hands next to your shoulders as his mouth tormented your back and neck.

He put his chest against your back as he moved his hips, hitting you.

His pointed tip rubbing against your cervix as your flesh melted beneath him, letting him do whatever he wanted with you.

A room filled with your moans and his grunts when he tagged you as his mate.

The phone had long been forgotten by the bedside.

Your body softly aligns itself for him.

What you thought earlier, that if a snow leopard had a human mind, it would have a mate for the rest of its life has come true.

You became the mate of a snow leopard named Satoru.

Taglist: @weebotaku21; @yihona-san06; @mikkies; @raysheil; @dreeamiea; @safaia-47; @porridgesblog; @weebnk-popper; @mc-reborn

[andavs]

Crack theory that I personally think would be incredibly funny:

The reason Marisol NoName’s been so bland and we haven’t learned so much as what she does for a living is because this is actually Vertigo. She’s intentionally infiltrated Eddie’s life for something nefarious, and after digging up photos of Shannon during their 48 hours of living together, she went and hired someone who looks like Shannon to mess with him for reasons.

Something absolutely ridiculous, like she's after that random fucking Chevelle. Eddie inherited it from Isabel when she moved to Texas, but it was actually used in some big unsolved historic bank robbery before his grandparents got it, or maybe his abuelo had a secret life. Marisol and her brother are the grandkids of Abuelo's old partner who got caught, and they've been searching for years and thought the key to the lost money would be inside the car.

But Marisol has been searching it while she babysits Chris and he's distracted playing video games. She can't find anything, so she'll have to talk to Isabel herself and see if she can get more information. But Eddie doesn't go out to Texas very often so she'll have to bring Isabel out to LA. How does she do that? Create an emergency so the whole family will have to come running to Eddie. An emergency like a total breakdown over Shannon's doppelganger, and then when they're all preoccupied with Eddie seemingly imploding his life, Marisol will make her move.

Supporting evidence:

How did Marisol NoName-NoJob buy a house by herself in LA? Why wouldn’t they at least tell us what she does or say her family has money? It would take one single line of dialogue. Suspicious.

She recognized and approached Eddie in the glue aisle

Who in their right mind would agree to move in with a guy they’ve only been dating a few months? She was snooping.

The nun thing was insane and why wouldn’t they at least give a reason for her quitting?

Eddie’s presumably been to her house multiple times, so wouldn’t he have noticed if she was actually super religious? She brought a damn Jesus bobblehead to move in and put it in a box of bedroom stuff, that doesn’t sound like the kind of person who would keep it all shoved in an armoire.

“You two aren’t going anywhere” sounded like a threat and jumping up to hug Eddie and Chris like that was an objectively weird thing to do in that moment.

“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I know it’s a thing people say but I hate her.

Edy is such a mediocre actor that I can’t tell if Marisol’s smiles are supposed to be genuine or not.

Unless it was for another job, she posted a video whispering about a briefcase and being creepy on a set.

A nun kills the imposter in Vertigo and maybe Eddie finds closure by saving Kim this time.

[oreoluvskento]

I don't even know what to call this, more sexy time with nanami i guess

a/n: I wrote this a while ago and its just been sitting in my drafts, idk i feel like i should be ashamed, probably the nastiest thing i've written, i had no clue how to end this so just pretend the end doesnt exist

wc: 3.1k, its literally ALL SMUT

cw: afab y/n, black y/n, riled up nd horny nanami, nanami ties y/n's wrists, spits in her mouth, tearing clothes, face fucking, nanami loves eating pussy, use of sir by y/n, very slight degradation, slight praise, y/n is a good girl, edging, orgasm denial, aftercare, showering together, SLIGHT fluff at the end

Story begins after the cut

~~~~

You were scrolling through your phone later in the day, around the time that Nanami was wrapping up at work. A notification from Snapchat pops up, encouraging you to look through your memories. As you swipe through them, a video of you in a scandalous dress you wore out with your friends one night pops up. You remember that Nanami never got to see you in the dress, since you bought it that same day while you were shopping with them.

   You send it to Nanami immediately, along with the other pictures and videos you took that same night, not thinking much of it. A little bit later, he texts you back, letting you know he's on his way home. You heart the message, excited to see your boyfriend again and try to distract your excited mind by turning on the living room TV. It works, and you become invested in the reality show that was on. Fifteen minutes pass by and you hear the front door's lock begin to turn. 

   You practically run to the door to meet him and when the door finally opens, your smile widens. "Hi, babe!" You exclaim. "I missed y-" Nanami interrupts you by wrapping his hand around your throat and pulling you in for a particularly rough kiss. It catches you off guard but you quickly gather yourself, moaning in his mouth as you kiss him back. You're not sure when or where he put his briefcase down, but he was already pushing you against the wall, his hand shoving its way up your shirt, fondling your boobs. 

   "Angel," Nanami pants and you moan in response. "Why would you send me pictures like that while I'm at work?" He asks and nips your neck. 

    "Didn't think they'd make you react like this," You sigh as he sucks on the area underneath your jaw. 

    "I sped the entire way home just to see you sooner. You had me hard in a meeting, angel, but thankfully I was sitting down. I think this deserves a punishment, yeah?" He growls and you groan as he moves his hand from your neck down to your throbbing pussy. 

    "I'm sorry-" A moan ripples through your body as he begins rubbing your clothed clit, cutting your sentence short. 

     "I know, beautiful, but I can't just let it slide, now can I?" He asks, his lips still against your neck and his fingers moving faster. You shake your head, knowing if you open your mouth to answer him, you'll moan. "Good girl," He smiles and picks you up, leading you to your bedroom. He drops you onto the bed and begins to remove his tie. You reach up to do it and he flashes you a confused look, making you immediately lean back down. 

   "Did I ask you to help me?" He asks and you shake your head, feeling slightly ashamed but you feel yourself get more aroused. He takes the tie off and holds it in one hand. "Arms out," He commands and you immediately do as he says. You hold back a smile as he ties your wrists together. You were grateful that your boyfriend was usually very sweet and caring towards you but ever since the first time you were "punished", you found yourself craving it more and more. Of course, you didn't make Nanami angry on purpose, you wouldn't be able to enjoy the aftermath in good conscience, so these moments were very rare and you made sure to savor them as much as possible. 

    All you were wearing was a sports bra and a loose pair of shorts and Nanami could see your hardened nipples through the material, making him even harder. He contemplates going easy on you today but then the images of you in the dress flash through his mind and he gets riled up again. "I'm going to rip this off of you," He warns, not giving you any time to react properly before doing it. 

   Before you know it, your top is on the floor, ripped at the straps and at the back, and your jaw drops. Before you can complain, Nanami shoves his thumb into your mouth, silencing you immediately. "I'll buy you a new one. Now come here," You scoot towards the edge of the bed and watch as he removes his belt and unbuttons his pants. He pulls his hard dick out and you feel your mouth water as you anticipate feeling the weight of it on your tongue. As if he could read your mind, Nanami tells you to stick your tongue out. 

   You do as he says and instead of him putting his dick on your tongue, he grabs your face and spits in your mouth. You moan at his actions, trying to stop yourself from rutting against the bed, and he follows up by finally slapping his dick against your tongue. You sit there as he swipes his head back and forth on the muscle, awaiting instruction. Nanami smiles at your good behavior and he gives you the go-ahead. Unable to use your hands, you take his dick into your mouth using your tongue and suck your way down slowly. "That's my girl... so fucking good for me," He growls.

   Nanami loved watching you like this, submissive and obedient to him. You took his dick so well; that was one of his favorite things about you. Whether it was in your pussy or in your mouth, you always had him moaning. He watches his length disappear into your mouth, your eyes looking up at his through your long lashes, as you bobbed your head back and forth and it made his dick twitch. Nanami grabs your head and pulls it completely off his dick, watching as a string of saliva hangs from it, and slowly slides it back into your mouth. You take it happily, causing him to groan and he continues like that, slowly fucking your face. He pushes his cock into your cheek and takes a mental picture of you, smiling to himself. 

   He begins going faster and you can tell he's about to come soon. He pushes further down your throat as he thrusts, causing your eyes to water at the sudden roughness. Nanami watches as the tears fall down your face as he continues using your face as a fleshlight and it makes him want to go deeper. It's not like he was into tears, he never wanted to see you cry, but the first time he noticed you crying during sex, it was wraps. Your tear-stained face looked so beautiful whenever he would fuck you, so much so that it made him question his sanity a little bit. 

   You're audibly gagging as he's abusing your throat, his eyebrows furrowed and his head thrown back as he nears his own orgasm. His thrusts become sloppy and he begins groaning louder. "Fuck, baby, you look so beautiful with my dick in your mouth," He growls. "You're going to be a good girl and let me cum on your face, yeah? Show me how sorry you are for teasing me today."

    You hum in response, your pussy already incredibly wet, and Nanami loses control. The vibration of your throat against his tip causes him to lean over slightly, pushing his dick deeper into your throat and he feels the cum begin to rise up his shaft. He quickly pulls out, stroking his dick, and finishes on your face and in your mouth. You feel the warmth on your cheek, your tongue, and the tip of your nose. As Nanami catches his breath, you take his dick into your mouth once more, bobbing your head and sucking his tip, beckoning any remaining cum to be released into your mouth. 

    Nanami curses as he feels himself in your mouth again, the pleasure almost too much. He pulls out of you and lifts your chin, your cum-decorated face looking back up at him. He leans in, and you think he's going to kiss you, so when you feel his tongue drag across your cheek, it catches you by surprise. He shoves his tongue into your mouth and you moan when you taste his nut on his tongue, realizing what he's doing. He massages his tongue with yours and when he pulls away again, he does the same thing. Nanami repeats this until your face is clean, and finally kisses you properly.

    It's sloppy, and you love it, enjoying how riled up he is, wondering if he's been holding himself back for the past few days that you came home tired from studying. He lays you down as he kisses you, pulling your bound wrists over your head. You continue kissing him as you feel his hand slide into your shorts and run his fingers up and down your pussy. He groans as he feels how wet you are, and he pulls away to pull them down. You wore underwear today, and he slightly frowned as he pulled that off too. You found that funny, but you decided against laughing. 

   "Sucking my dick got you this wet?" He asks as he pushes a finger inside of you, and your eyes roll to the back of your head, nodding at his question. He shakes his head as he continues fucking you with one finger. "Fucking slut," He spits and you unknowingly clench at his words. He begins going faster and you're panting now, wanting to come.  

   "Ken, 's not enough, need more, please," You whine and he stops all the way. You cry at the loss of stimulation and he grabs your face once again, your lips slightly squishing together. 

   "Ken?" He questions and your eyes widen at your mistake. 

   "'M sorry sir, I forgot," You quickly say and he lets go. He goes back to fucking you with his middle finger, going slower this time, and you moan at the feeling. He pushes his thumb against your clit and your back arches as you gasp. He continues rubbing circles into your clit and fingering you with one finger, not speeding up. Nonetheless, you feel your orgasm coming on. Nanami feels it too, with the way you're clenching around him, and he adds another finger. Nanami smiles as you cry out in pleasure, your breathing getting faster. 

    "Sir, please don't stop, I'm gonna cum," You pant and he stops anyway. You groan as you watch him lick his fingers and lie down in front of you. Your attitude quickly changes as he holds your legs open in front of him. You watch as he puts his face in between your legs, and you expect to feel his tongue on your clit, but instead you feel it circling around it, never touching it. It turns you on but ultimately, you just want your clit in his mouth. You begin bucking your hips, trying to tell him that you want him to stop teasing you, and he lightly slaps your thigh, stopping your movements altogether. 

   "Stay fucking still," He growls and you do as he says. You feel yourself shake as you try not to move, your chest rising and falling each time he misses your clit. Finally, he slurps your clit into his mouth and a shiver runs through your body. Nanami begins to relentlessly eat you out, the sounds coming from his mouth unbelievably loud. You feel yourself nearing the edge again and it takes all of your willpower to stop yourself from grinding on his face. 

    Nanami hears your breathing pick up and your moans get louder and he knows you're close. He pulls away again, laughing as you groan in frustration. He kisses the inside of your thighs, allowing you to catch your breath. You watch him as he rubs your clit softly, applying minimal pressure and he presses a wet kiss to the sensitive nub. Without warning, he starts lapping at it again, your legs automatically closing around his head at the sensation. Nanami pulls your legs apart as he continues his ministrations and inserts a single finger inside you. 

    Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues and he locates your G-spot immediately, his finger brushing against the squishy pad. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel a warmth wash over you, a sign that you are nearing your orgasm again. "Sir, please, I'm close. Please let me come," You whine and Nanami pulls away once again. He sits up and smiles at your chest, which is rising and falling rapidly. 

   He lifts your hips and aligns himself with your entrance, a devious look on his face. "You know, I still haven't decided if you're even going to come at all," He says and your eyes widen. 

   You begin to apologize profusely, not wanting to be left like this. "Sir, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tease you! Please let me cum, I'll be good, please, I'm sorry!" You cry and Nanami raises an eyebrow at your desperation. He wasn't going to leave you high and dry, he'd never do that, and you knew that too, but your submissive instinct took over. He pushes into you slowly, your eyebrows furrowing as you feel him filling you up. Once he bottoms out, he leans down and kisses you, neater this time, and you kiss him back happily. 

    "Don't come without my permission, understand?" He asks and you nod. He kisses you one last time before sitting up and pulling out of you. He thrusts back in and you grunt at the sudden force. You're still teetering on the edge of your previous impending orgasm so you're already feeling close. Nanami easily slides in and out of you, your pussy so wet that the sounds are adding to his pleasure. He holds your legs open as he continues, his own orgasm threatening to arrive. 

   Your moans get louder, and you begin to feel bad for your neighbors. Nanami feels the same and he covers your mouth, telling you to be quieter. Ironically, he goes faster and harder, leaning down and hanging your leg off of his shoulder as he hits your G-spot over and over. You begin repeating his name from behind his hand, your voice muffled. He removes it and you inform him of your current status. 

    "Gonna come, sir. So, so close, please let me come," You pant and he goes faster, changing the way he's stroking. He pushes your legs back further, your thighs now pressed into your chest. You feel him deeper than before and you attempt to push him away, to stop yourself from coming, but he just pushes your wrists back. 

   "You'll take it, and you won't come until I say so," He rasps and you groan. Nanami doesn't change his pace and continues attacking your G-spot. You're clenching him tight, even you can feel it, as you try not to come. Nanami goes faster, fighting against the muscles in your pussy, and you just know you won't last much longer. Finally, you feel his hips begin to stutter and he begins rubbing your clit, slowly to start off. 

    "You want to come?" He asks and you nod aggressively. "You promise you won't do that again? That you'll always be a good girl for me?" He's rubbing your clit faster now, and you feel yourself start to slip. You give him a broken yes and he gains control of himself again and begins to pummel into you. "Go ahead and come all over my dick, baby," He says and you do just that. 

    Your orgasm knocks the wind out of you. Your head goes blank as you writhe underneath him, unsure of if he's coming as well. Nanami's orgasm took him as soon as yours did. You began gushing all over his dick and he couldn't hold on anymore. He has to hold your hips down as you come so you don't roll off the bed. You don't know how long your orgasm lasts, but Nanami fucks you through the entire thing. When you're done, he unties you and helps you lay on him, your head on his chest. 

    Once you've caught your breath you look up at Nanami, who's lying with his eyes closed. You press a kiss to his jaw and he opens his eyes to look at you. "I missed you," You tell him, your voice tired. He turns his body over slightly as he kisses your forehead, holding the back of your neck. 

    "I missed you too, angel. You okay? It wasn't too much right?" He asks, referring to what you two just did. No matter how rough he is, Nanami always makes sure you're okay afterward and you love it. This was honestly one of the more tame experiences you've had with him and he's still here, eyebrows furrowed, worried if you're alright. 

    You laugh softly, your hand on his. "I'm okay, Ken. It was perfect," You assure him as you straddle him and press a soft kiss to his lips. He stays still as you kiss him, allowing your lips to meet for a quick second before you sit back up.

   Nanami watches as you unbutton his shirt for him. He didn't realize that he never took it off until now and it made him laugh. Usually, the routine is for him to come home and you help him get undressed. He'd take a shower and you'd always be waiting on the bed for him when he got out to help him get dressed in his casual clothes. Today, however, he got a little distracted. 

    You smile as you reach the last button, and you open the shirt, revealing his chest. His body was something you don't think you'd ever get used to. No matter how many times you've seen him shirtless, you still couldn't help but stare every time. Nanami sits up as you're staring, his face parallel to yours as he shrugs his top off. "Shower with me?" He asks you as he closes the gap between your faces. 

    Your forehead rests on his as a smile spreads across your face. "Duh," You say in a joking tone, and Nanami stands up with your legs holding onto his waist. Like always, he puts you down on the counter as he turns on the water. As it runs, he comes back over to you and gives you a quick kiss as he runs his knuckles down your face. 

    "I can't believe I've never seen those pictures before, y/n. You looked too good for me to even comprehend. I'm happy I saw it when I saw it, I probably would've left work early if I picked up my phone a little earlier." He tells you and you laugh, slightly embarrassed. The two of you shower, eat dinner afterwards, and spend the rest of the day in bed together.

[rellsingsovern]

There’s no grounds, Jawbone!

On Wednesday afternoon, three days before spring break, The Bad Kids receive their late report cards and open them together. That Friday, they are marched through a door, expecting to die.

The POV of various parents and teachers of The Bad Kids, during the days leading up to the Last Standard Exam.

Chapter 2: Denial (read chapter one on ao3 at rellsingsovern!)

Riz came home exactly when he said he would, which immediately tipped Sklonda off to the fact that something was amiss.

It was late for the town of Elmville, which meant that her night was just getting started. Who says 9:52 pm on a Wednesday night can't be the perfect time to start reviewing her court footage? She’s 20 seconds into the video and three minutes into hitting the refresh button over and over again (curse the Strongtower wifi) when the sound of a motorcycle grumbling up to the building down below blended into the whine of the single fluorescent bulb up in the ceiling of the living room (curse the Strongtower electricity). Her ear flicked of its own accord a few minutes later, registering no footsteps approaching, as to be expected of her rouge son, but picking up the rustling of papers coming from the hallway through the thin walls.

She frowned absentmindedly. Ever since her and Riz had had that talk in November she’d done her best to pay more attention to his habits and tendencies regarding his fucking insane schedule. Much like one of his boards, he kept all his belongings in an ordered chaos she doubted even Pok would have been able to wrap his head around. Sticky notes on papers, papers in folders, folders in binders, highlighters and rubber bands and paper clips in every color made their way from his backpack to his briefcase to his backpack again, leaving Riz his hands free, an intentional move on his part. Wouldn’t be a very good rouge if I couldn’t draw my gun because I’ve got someone’s homework in my hands, he’d quipped to her early in the year, before the bags under his eyes became darker than a bruise and his eyes twitched as much as they blinked, before Fabian started throwing parties Riz for some reason still went to and before Kristen roped him into-

The sound of a pin in the lock snapped her out of her own head and back into her apartment. The part of her that was Sklonda Gukgak: Mom of Riz noticed Riz stumbled through the door lacking his usual grace, most likely due to the backpack that had been progressively more and stuffed full of school supplies ever since Falinell (it made her wonder why he didn’t open his briefcase as often anymore). The part of her that was still Chief Detective Sklonda Gukgak of the Elmville Police Department noticed that in Riz’s hands were his lockpick that he used to enter the apartment and a pile of envelopes and coupon papers that was certainly their mail, bills and coupons and more bills and a dark red envelope with the official stamp of Aguefort Adventuring Academy on it.

And more bills. Great.

Her ear flicked again, and she absent-mindedly thumbed the arrow keys on her crystal laptop, the ones she knew didn’t work anymore, taking in her teenage son who was home before 10 for the first time in a while. “Hey sweetie,” she greeted, eyeing the papers in his hands. She always got the mail, on account of Riz just straight up Misty Stepping into the apartment in a rush between school and his office and school again. “I’m glad to see you, you hungry or anything?”

Riz stepped through the door, closing it behind him, looking down through the lenses of his glasses. “I’m fine, thanks mom. Jawbone ordered Bastion Market.”

She hummed, thinking of the two most recent text messages in her crystal.

3:06 pm

hi mom just finished yearbook club heading to mordred then stand-up night then home around 10 getting rides from fabian love you

4:48 pm

Hey Sklonda Jawbone here, Riz mentioned something about an event he was supposed to attend tonight but he’s decided to stay here for dinner instead, perfectly all right with myself Sandy and Lydia but just wanted to update ya in case you go looking. He’s not taking the grading news too well. I’m sure he’s told you about it but just a heads up. Working on a solution for the kids in the morning, yall hang tight 👍

Riz had, in fact, not told her about ‘it’ yet. Sklonda had had half a mind to call Sandra-lynn to see what Jawbone had meant, but decided to wait until Riz got home, although she had expected to see him way later, if not the next morning. She eyed the red envelope he still held in between his fingers, flicking the lockpick with a small thwack thwack thwack on the seal and wondered if that was ‘it’.

“Thanks for getting the mail, kiddo.” She knows he knows what she’s actually saying. You never get the mail, that’s my job, you’re home early, what are you doing?

What’s wrong?

He shrugged his seemingly 50 pound backpack off his 90 pound body, putting it on the floor but not taking his eyes off it. “Just thought I’d get it on the way up.” His voice says, steady and even-toned.

Former Chief Detective Sklonda Gukgak sees his body language say please don’t question me further.

Hah, Mom Sklonda Gukgak thought to herself. Not a chance in hell.

“Y’know,” she said, closing her laptop and pretending not to notice the way her son’s shoulders rose to his ears immediately. “Whenever you give me a time you’ll be home by, you’re never actually home at that time. And I know you’re very capable, Riz, but I worry about you.”

He muttered something under his breath, holding out the stack of bills to her, holding that damn envelope in his other hand, still not making eye contact.

Riz was a perfect rouge. He had a light step and a light touch and an impeccable aim. He had a brain that ran a million miles per hour and a goblin grit he inherited from his father. He’d been picking the lock to the apartment since he was twelve and learning to shoot a gun since he was thirteen. He was smart, sneaky and secretive.

But he didn’t keep secrets from her.

After Pok died, Sklonda had tried to keep many things from Riz. How scared she was. How exhausted she was. She would throw herself into work then throw herself into bed, crying with her face in Pok’s pillow as the signs of him faded from their life, as silent as she could so Riz wouldn’t hear. His desk became dusty, his razor sat unused, and his pillow stopped smelling like his cologne. She ran and ran and ran from the pain, never thinking about it, closing the door to his office where the ghost of her husband sat until Riz had tried to leave for school one day in shoes too big for him and a briefcase that hadn’t left the apartment in weeks.

At her protests, her nine-year old son had looked at her through his shaggy hair with big, sad, golden eyes. Pok had always been the one who gave Riz haircuts.

You never talk about him anymore, he said. You pretend you aren’t tired all the time and you pretend he’s not gone.

It hurts, mom.

Her beautiful, brilliant, investigative son had deduced what she wouldn’t, what she couldn’t tell him. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

It’s okay if it hurts. I’m still here.

She didn’t open the door to Pok’s room, and she didn’t let Riz go to school with his shoes. But from that day on Riz toted a briefcase everywhere, and on his tenth birthday she gave him a haircut, his own pair of brown loafers (still a little too big, but at the thrift store you take what you can get) and took him to Cravencroft where she whispered all her deepest fears, laid them down on the dirt under her son’s knees and in front of her husband’s grave, confessed to the bone-deep exhaustion that weighed down her arms and her legs and her heart.

Gukgaks don’t give up, Riz whispered back to her, golden eyes shining like suns, an echo of his father’s favorite phrase. She looked at his close-cropped hair and saw Pok. Then she looked at the bags under his eyes and saw herself.

After that Sklonda only had one secret to keep, and Riz had walked into Pok’s room and blew the dust off his desk two years ago in a mighty whirlwind of a 15 year-old detective hot on the case. With the blood of a dragon still hot in her stomach, she and Riz had promised to never hide anything from each other. Not their stress, not their exhaustion, and not their thoughts. Never again did she try to hide her tiredness from Riz, allowing him to replace her cold cups of coffee and lead her to bed on the days when her feet felt like stone, and when he got too jittery and manic with a drive to solve whatever mystery he was currently on she pressed at him until he eventually spilled his guts and she could get him to call a friend for backup in getting him to sleep at least four hours a night. Riz had been raised to notice all he could and never back down, and she had been the one to do it. He had his adventuring party, and she had a new job and new friends, but it was still just the two of them at odds with a world not meant for goblins, two Gukgaks in a shitty apartment, one weighed down with something they wouldn’t confess to and the other who noticed looking up through golden eyes.

Sklonda held out her hand for the red envelope.

Riz, who told her everything, who called her in freshman year every time he discovered something or murdered someone, who as soon as he got back from his spring break quest told her about Pok, who told her about the Loams and the Spies Tongue curse and Fig’s (maybe) god, did not hand it over.

Not a chance in hell.

“I’ll be in my room,” Riz started, leaving his backpack by the sofa as he turned and started away.

“What’s in the envelope, Riz.” She said, pushing as much goblin mom into her voice as possible and knowing it worked when he froze in place. “I don’t like knowing there’s a secret you’re keeping from me.”

“It’s not important.”

“Of course it is.”

He laughed under his breath, still turned away from her. “No, I mean like, it’s really not important anymore. Nothing in there matters.”

“Riz…”

He laughed again, and something in her stomach, a liquid mix of hot worry irritation worry froze into something heavy and cold like dread as his laugh broke into a dry gasp, sharp and cutting. “It’s fine, mom, really.”

“I’m sure it’s not, whatever it is, but I’m sure it’s not that bad either. You can just tell me honey, you know I won’t ever be mad.”

Her words seemed to register and nudge him away from whatever he was spiraling towards, but she still felt her lungs tighten and the cold sharpen in the pit of her stomach. He turned to look at her fully, and she didn't flinch, would never shy away from her son, but his eyes were dull, darker than she’s ever seen, as dark as her own during those first few months of just her and Riz.

He handed her the envelope with shaky hands and in the blink of an eye was suddenly sitting down on the other side of the couch, pressing himself into the flat cushions like they could swallow him whole.

She opened the envelope with no small amount of trepidation, wondering what could be so bad that her son came home at a reasonable time at night.

Reaching inside, Sklonda pulled out two pieces of paper, one significantly bigger than the other. Looking at the smaller one first, her heart at first fell and the soared with pride as she beheld a small slip of paper detailing that her son had earned an A+ in his rouge track during his most recent semester. Student shows signs of mastery at mundane and arcane lockpicking. Student shows signs of mastery at detecting/disarming mundane and arcane traps. Student shows signs of mastery at dealing damage with both short and long range weaponry. Student shows signs of mastery at remaining unseen by others.

The list went on, and she turned to Riz with elation. “This is amazing, Riz!”

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, sinking further into the cushions. “Read the other one before I vomit again, mom.”

She flicked open the larger paper with confusion, starting to read, and with every word the ice in her stomach turned back into red hot anger.

Dear parent/guardian,

Your child, Riz Gukgak, has been moved to PASS/FAIL academic status at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy due to FAILURE/EXPULSION of party member Kristin Applebees. PASS/FAIL academic status will nullify any and all extra credit earned from extracurriculars including athletic teams, school-sponsored clubs, and volunteer work in compliance with the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. Your child will be allowed to remain at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy for the duration of their current school year. They must attend graduation and complete their teacher evaluation(s) in order to be accepted back into the Aguefort Adventuring Academy the upcoming year. If your child is a part of any multiclass program they will not be accepted back into their additional academic tracks and must remain only in their primary class the upcoming year. PASS/FAIL academic status cannot be removed or rectified from a student’s academic transcript with exception of the undergoing and completion of The Last Standard Examination. Please contact guidance counselor Jawbone O’Shaughnessy with questions, comments, or concerns.

Regards,

Interim Vice Principal Jace Stardiamond

Failure. Expulsion.

Kristen Applebees.

“-and I don’t even remember if we’re eligible to take The Last Stand this early in the year or if we have to wait until the last semester, but Kristin will be forced to leave this Friday, so if we can’t take it, I don’t know what we’ll do, Fabian, Gorgug, and Fig will be screwed next year and-“

Her blood was boiling, her ears were ringing, drowning out Riz’s voice.

Failure. Expulsion. Campaign manager. Someone else’s homework. People who call him The Ball.

Kristin Applebees.

“-hates her, and I don’t understand why, it’s just not fair-“

“It’s not fair,” Sklonda hissed out, a mirror of Riz’s, her snarl cutting through the air and making the words die on her son’s tongue. Forcing her hands to be still, pushing down the hot flash of rage in her belly, she schooled herself into the professionalism of Public Defender Sklonda Gukgak. Her son needed the cool head and steady tone that she prided herself on, her analytical eye and her forthrightness.

She could fret later. Her son had been blindsided by something she really should have seen coming ever since November, and it was time to address it.

She continued, voice low, watching her son’s posture relax bit by bit. “It’s not fair. Thank you for showing me, baby. We’ll figure it out, I promise.”

Riz turned to face her fully on the couch, knee nudging hers, and the hotness of worry irritation worry surged behind her eyes for half a second as she noticed a vein on Riz’s forehead that had never been there before. “You’re not mad?”

“No, kiddo, not at you. Never at you.”

“But…” He worried the chain of one of his necklaces between his teeth, a nervous trait he told her he’d picked up over the summer. He had sat up out of the cushions, but his knees were still drawn up uncomfortably, pressing his arms into his chest. “Without the pension, and without the extracurriculars… the scholarships-”

Stress was a thing Sklonda was familiar with. It lived in her apartment walls, on the underside of the peeling wallpaper. It filled the rooms in the flickers of darkness when the lights stopped working. It sat in the bottom of her coffee cups, and she’d admit that she found herself chasing it like her son chased clues, with a lot of intensity and only a little self-awareness. She knows her son too well, just like his mother and father in all the best and worst ways. Riz had too much in common with her, too many bad habits, and she’d sooner go back to her old job than ever let her son send himself more into the same stress-filled state she lived in for his party members.

“It’s not your fault,” she said, shuffling closer and putting an arm around Riz’s shoulders, wincing when she felt they were far too tight. Something in her quietly cooed when he laid his head down on her shoulder, glasses being knocked askew, strands of green hair falling and tickling her chin. “I’m not mad at you. I know how hard you’ve worked this year, and I’m so sorry Kristin messed it up for you.”

The shifting of chains between sharp fangs stopped. “...What?”

She rubbed his shoulder, keeping her voice low and soothing. “You’ve been doing far too much for her since the beginning of the year, Riz, it was really a matter of time before-”

“Mom, stop!”

Worry irritation worry confusion dread pooled in her gut as Riz shoved himself off her side and stood up off the couch furiously. “You can’t say that about Kristin, mom, how could you?”

She blinked hard. “What do you mean, how could- she got expelled, Riz, I know she and Fig aren’t academically inclined but c’mon, at least Fig is actually trying.”

“And what makes you think Kristin ‘isn’t trying’?” Riz scoffed, claws making quotes in the air with a harshness that rivaled when he tore into Kalvaxus two years ago. “She tries harder than the rest of us combined, she works so hard-”

“At what, Riz? Her campaign? The one that you run for her?”

“You don't get to talk about Kristin like that!”

This is exactly the opposite of what she wanted to happen. She wanted to hug her son and tell him it would all be alright while texting Sandra-lynn and Jawbone about what the heck The Last Standard Examination was and how Riz could take it. She could count on her fingers the amount of times conversations with Riz had turned to shouting, and even then they were always family matters, never about his party.

Sklonda loved Kristin, she really did. From the back half of freshman year until spring break of sophomore year Kristin spent a lot of time in Strongtower, rotating between the Faeth house and Gilear’s place down the hall before he moved out, wherever Fig was staying that week. Then it was down a few floors in Jawbone’s; sometimes she could still hear the shrieks of laughter echoing up through the thin floors as a gaggle of 15 year old adventurers ran through the halls far later than they were supposed to (not that she ever had the heart to tell Riz to keep it down when he hung out with his friends). Riz was a quiet kid before he went to Aguefort; Sklonda got the idea that Kristin had never been so. She always said what was on her mind, even if it was exceedingly inappropriate (she’s heard enough stories from Sandra-Lynn about her and Tracker during spring break). Always loud, always chaotic, a girl who jumped from idea to idea like she jumped from home to home.

That was a little cruel of her to think, Sklonda had been the one to order the raid on her house, after all.

Kristin had gotten a little quieter after spring break, Even Sklonda, whose building was no longer the Bad Kid’s default hangout spot, could see that. But she had also gotten a lot more chaotic.

“Kristin’s a good kid,” She said slowly, frowning when Riz shoved his hands under his glasses. “But you have to admit she struggles to stay on track sometimes.”

Riz glared at her through his fingers. “Doesn’t give you the right to insult her.”

“I’m not insulting her! It’s just the facts, sweetie, I know she’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose. But-” She waved the paper towards him, and he flinched away as though she were brandishing a gun. “-there’s two names on this paper, one being my son who joined every single extracurricular at the school and one being a girl who’s name my former coworkers apparently know due to several dropped charges of trespassing at the steelworkers factory?”

“You know I’ve probably got stuff on me too, mom, my midterm in December was to break into a warehouse downtown and plant a non-lethal arcane grenade set to go off when discovered.”

She remembered. It hadn’t gone off until February. He’d gotten an A+.

“That’s different, and not the point. Yours was an assignment for school, and Kristin’s apparently not been doing hers.”

“She’s got reasons to struggle, her god died, mom, I was there-“

“She can still cast, can’t she? You do everything for her, why can’t she at least maintain a C?”

“Oh my-” Riz dragged his hands down his face, muffling his next words. “You don’t understand-”

“Riz, I just worry that-”

“It’s not Kristin’s fault!”

“Then who’s is it?”

“I’m trying to explain-”

“Riz, don’t make excuses for her, she brought this on her-”

A sound filled the room, a short, sudden thing that sliced through the air. Riz’s eyes went wide, claws half curled at his side, and she realized the sound had just come from him.

Pressing his lips together as though he could stop the violent hiss that just came out of his mouth, Riz turned away and fled down the hall to his room, leaving his backpack and briefcase and a burning sensation behind Sklonda’s eyes that she couldn’t tell was rage or tears.

Another swing and a miss from Sklonda Gukgak about her poor, poor, boy.

A light flashed at the corner of her vision, startling her enough that her eyes were pulled away from the corner Riz disappeared behind. It was coming from within the couch cushions, and she reached in to pull out a blinking crystal.

10:02 pm

u alive the ball? kristin and I are still out here i wont leave until you respond

10:03 pm

i know u dont want to but if u told ur mom shed understand im sure of it

10:08 pm

we’re still herwogoTAKD2739/@(

10:08 pm

ITS KRISTIN I STOLE FABIANF S CRYSTL TMRW MORNIGN FIRST THIGN BOBBY DAWNS OFFICS I HAVW AN IDEA

10:09 pm

I L OVE OYU MAN THat assholes gonna pay for failing me on a fuckin technicality

What?

The blood rushing in her ears drowned out the incessant drone of the fluorescent light, but straining her hearing she realized that several floors down there was still the rumbling of a motorcycle.

Someone else’s homework. People who call him The Ball. Campaign manager.

Kristin Applebees had dropped Riz off from her own house, had stayed with Fabian and refused to leave until he texted them back, and here Sklonda was blaming her and probing at her son until he hissed and ran from her.

All sensation left from her, and numbly she got off the couch and started toward Riz’s room, crystal in hand. Stopping outside the closed door, Sklonda didn’t bother to knock. She knew he knew she was there.

The door didn’t open.

I don't understand, I don't have all the facts, I don’t know what’s going on, please tell me, she wanted to yell at the door like making more noise would save her from her mistakes.

“You left your crystal on the couch.” She murmured softly instead.

A pause. More rustling of papers, and when Riz opened the door he was holding his glasses in one hand and what looked like a map in the other, eyes dark. She held the crystal out.

He took it gingerly, and the numbness faded by just a little bit when his eyes got a little brighter, flicking over the crystal screen. He didn’t smile, but his face lost a little bit of tension.

He bit his lip and looked at her. “… I’m sorry I hissed at you. I didn’t mean to.”

She tried to smile, but wasn’t sure she succeeded. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain, sweetie. I’m all ears.”

He glanced at his crystal again, something changing in his posture. For a moment she was afraid he would close the door again, and even though she wanted nothing more in the world than to demand answers, she would let him.

“I don’t think I want to talk about it anymore tonight.” He said slowly, cautiously.

Sklonda nodded, thinking desperately about asking Sandra-Lynn out for drinks tomorrow.

“I just…” Riz looked down at the map in his hand, the words Ashgrove Cemetery scrawled in his handwriting at the top. “We’ve all worked so hard, Fig and Kristin and everyone, and-”

He swallowed. “I was gonna find the rouge teacher, mom. And now it doesn't matter.”

She could think of a million things to say, but all that came out of her mouth was, “Gukgaks don't give up.”

Her brave, smart, resilient, beautiful son’s eyes filled with tears, and he shut the door to his bedroom.

Stumbling back to the living room, Sklonda clumsily grabbed her crystal from the coffee table and sent a text, claws clicking against the screen.

10:13 pm

Jawbone, Riz just got home. What is The Last Stand?

The rumbling of the motorcycle faded from earshot. A few minutes later, her crystal lit up.

That oh so familiar heaviness of exhaustion and fear, the stress that lived in the bottom of her coffee cups, in the papers spilling out of Riz’s backpack hit her like a truck as she read Jawbone's response.

The lights flickered, and in the flash of darkness she saw a vision of her son, slumped over a desk, a paper in front of him with a dark red A+ written in goblin blood.

[graveyard-stray]

Stress Relief | Jonathan Crane x Fem!Reader

DRABBLE

Word count: 459

summary: after a long day at the asylum and dealing with the Batman, Jonathan needs some help relaxing once he gets home and you are the only one who can do it.

Includes: sweet sweet fluff. That’s really it. No TW.

After a long and grueling day at Arkham Asylum, Dr. Jonathan Crane stormed through the door of his penthouse apartment, his mind consumed by thoughts of the Batman thwarting his latest experiments with fear toxin.

"Damn that vigilante! Every time I come close to achieving my goals, he swoops in and ruins everything!" He tosses his briefcase on his desk and doesn’t bother hanging up his coat, merely laying it lazily over a chair.

You frown as you see his frustration and hear the anger in his voice. You approach him softly, putting a gentle hand on his arm. “Jonathan, calm down. You can't let him get to you like this."

He pushes away from you, his fists clenched and his breathing heavy, "But he's always one step ahead! It's maddening!"

You walk closer to him again and wrap your arms around his torso, enveloping him in a soft embrace. "I know it's difficult, but you're stronger than this. Remember why you do what you do."

Crane lets out a heavy sigh, "You're right... I can't let him control me like this."

You pull away with a smile and lead him to the living room so he can get comfortable. “Sit down, I'll make you some tea." You insist.

As you bustled about the kitchen, Crane sank onto the couch, the tension in his muscles slowly ebbing away in your presence. Despite his facade of toughness, being with you always made him feel vulnerable in the most comforting way.

You soon returned with a steaming cup of tea and settled beside him, your calming aura enveloping him like a warm embrace.

The warm mug you held in your hand was placed on the table infront of Johnathan "Here, drink this. It'll help you relax."

He took a sip of the wake liquid and felt it slithering down his throat and calming his body. "Thank you, my love, don't know what I'd do without you."

You just smile softly at him "You don't have to do anything alone, Jonathan. I'm here for you, always." You say before placing a sweet peck on his cheek.

As you sat together in silence, the weight of the day slowly lifted from his shoulders, replaced by a sense of peace that only you could provide.

After he finished his tea you cuddled up against him, wrapping your arms around his midsection and hurting your face in his chest. Johnathan smiled softly, In your arms, he always found solace from the chaos of his world, a sanctuary where he could be vulnerable without fear of judgment.

And as he leaned into you embrace, jeknew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, as long as he had you by his side, he could weather any storm.

[jacksprostate]

One of the lesser known side effects of your condo getting blown up and a lamp lancing through your car like a bullfighter's verduguillo is that when you move to the outskirts of a city and have to rely on the failing public transport system, your commute to work starts to take two hours if you're lucky. Most of the time, I'm not lucky. I leave for work an hour before sunrise and still arrive a half hour late. Coming home is worse.

Public transit could be good. Everyone says it. Tyler tells me, in the future where we've burnt civilization to the ground, we won't need transit at all since the suburban dream will have died and everything you could ever need will live right with you in the nestled bosom of a ruined city. Kudzu vines will let you climb the exposed concrete and rebar until you're twenty stories tall. Stations of gliders, made with the skins of the cattle we keep. We'll need nothing beyond flight radius. There will be streams, broken back out of the pavement and basements, rivulets to ride back home to the shore. The world will close again, small and destroyed and hurting. A seedling.

For now, I ride the bus home.

The later it takes for the bus to show up, the worse the crowd gets. A man with his hand in his pants. The growing smell of piss from another. Someone laid out along the back bench seats, two stops from death. Of course, the fifteen-odd witnesses who won't move a muscle. Avert your eyes and thoughts and path.

Sometimes, when the buses are running especially thin, mid-route the driver will get a call on his radio instructing him to take the B route through another section of downtown. There, we pick up worse.

College students. Young couples. Those nights, this night, I have plenty of young hot things sliming into each other's mouths for the rest of my trip. It's unavoidable. Surround sound. The crinkle of hands gripping through jackets and all the wet smacks mix together with the creaking and squeaking of the bus like it's a roadside motel. I am forced to look at these fresh, vacant twenty year olds and I wonder — how much could one person want to disappear?

You could bring an Armalite AR-180 carbine gas-operated semiautomatic on here. Open carry. Maybe that would make everyone stop. Sit in your seats quietly. Legs together. Follow the implicit rules. Walk home quickly and don't react to any calling. Switch sides of the street as needed to avoid the footsteps behind you, but not so much that the chase is interesting. Ignore how they speed up, you speed up, and you hear two laughs. Oh, the power of a rifle.

When I get to Paper Street, we've entered eternal twilight. The smog crests over us like a dome, blotting out the stars and lowering the atmosphere within reach. Industrial lot lights shine their way to the edges like the stars of the Truman show. Everything smells like ass.

If I called it home, Tyler would probably light it on fire. Between the asbestos and the gallons of water soaked into the house, it'd smolder for months. Our yard is littered with glass, tetanus, and leptospirosis. I've got this ache carving away at my insides, like I took Tyler to work with me and she's been tunneling out.

I open the door, set down my briefcase, and think about the fact that I have to do this tomorrow and the day after and until I die.

She's in the kitchen, in her robe. Tyler has her sunglasses on, she has to barely be able to see me with that gaze. Lit up by the lamps littered through the room like electric storm candles. She's smoking.

Tyler says, "Take off your skirt. I'm tired of seeing that thing."

Vertigo can be associated with presyncope. It feels like you're falling. It feels like you're going to vomit as the failing floorboards split apart and swallow you up.

Tyler says, "I don't know why you bother. We both know how you feel about this." She steps closer, blows smoke in my bloodless face. I wish I could take it on, I wish I could lock us both in an old fridge and infuse us with her breath. With all the soap Tyler makes, she still smells like shit. If she died I'd sleep in her corpse until it faded.

"You flatter me sometimes, psycho girl." Tyler reaches a hand past me, cages me to the door. On the other side, there's the edges of our little set, with the door closed you can't see the dollhouse way the world gives up past a hundred feet. The other hand, it trails down my side like it's made of fire, unbearable and intense. She's looking down, cigarette tugging at her lip, hooded eyes probably tracking how I twitch and jump under her fingers. I can't not look at her. The chip in her tooth. The intensity to her eyes. Her mouth. I'm too loose, I'm going to slip out of her arms and under the door and down the street.

She finds the zipper. Tugs it down, my skirt falls around me like the goddamned Berlin wall. It lies in a limp pile around my legs; she can see my tights. My underwear. She's exposed me. The cavern in me is massive. Yawning.

Tyler stubs out her cigarette on the door and presses me into it, too.

Right by my ear, she murmurs, "You always make me take what you want." Her hands slip around me — gripping my shirt at my shoulder, slipping around to my lower back, my ass — I don't know what to do with mine. I've got them splayed out. I'm staring at the ceiling, her hair half-obscuring it.

Her lips, against my cheek. Brushing, she's making her way back and I know and I'm not ready.

Tyler bites at my lip, pulls it soft and gentle between hers with the same sincerity and focus that she's used to fracture my jaw. My heart at the derby. It's one of those horses running so hard their lungs fill with blood and their organs explode. I open my eyes, I didn't know I closed them, the lights blind me.

Her hand slides up my shoulder, my neck. She's got to feel my pulse. Pile driving. She cups my face, right where she broke it. Tyler directs me into her kiss.

She says, into my mouth she breathes and says, "Let yourself do something, why don't you?"

I know she's looking at me. My eyes fell shut again, I'm trapped in the feeling of her lips on mine but I know she's looking at me, close, half-lidded and intense. Trembling, I ache and creak and try. I try.

Tyler could be eating me, I would still try to feed myself to her.

I'm rewarded with her tongue. On my lips, in my pliant, confused mouth. Volcanic hot springs. Earthquakes, fractures, overflowing. I imagine Tyler and her tongue elsewhere. I make a noise, it's so pitiful you could take it out back and shoot it.

She leans on me, puts her whole body weight on me and the rotten wood miracle holding us up. Her hand slithers out from behind me to grab my wrist. Caught red handed, stricken, full of nothing and twitching.

Tyler slips her thigh between mine, it's pressure so impossibly hard I could cry. I am crying. I'm such a hopeless participant that when she kisses her way to the corner of my mouth and drinks up my tears, I welcome her back all the same. My thighs open up and hug her all the same. I am perpetually the beaten dog, fleeing and running back to its owner.

My other hand, my left, free hand finds its home on her nape. Tangled in her short, greasy hair. Tyler needs to kiss me until the world caves in.

She brings my hand down. A ventriloquist, she kisses me deep and my wooden fingers slip through her bathrobe. The edge of her boxers. I am crying, I am kissing Tyler Durden as she flattens me so I cannot escape this perfect misery as she brings my wooden fingers to her folds and I feel. Wet.

My fingers twitch. It's impulse. It's inverse familiarity. It's feeling, labia minora. Something more. Tyler would have the words for this. She pushes my hand against herself, the meat of my palm against her pubic mound as she devours me. She could do it all herself.

The way it feels, sliding, warm. Warm like my whole body is trapped in between Tyler's thighs. It could be my head. My tongue. My tongue curling around her clit. These images flash through me like full-body phantoms. On my knees, my hands on the sensitive meat of her inner thighs. Like I'm getting buckshot to the chest point blank. Our positions reversed. My tongue in her mouth. My leg between hers. Reload. Her hand, held by mine.

I push my hand against her.

Tyler moans into my mouth.

I push my hand against her, and slide my palm over her clit, her chest flutters against mine. God would kill for this. Tyler is all around me, my index finger is slick and wet with her and it's easy. It's pressing into melted butter.

Tyler's falling apart, Mona Lisa, she's saying nothing and burying me in her lust. There's new tears and they aren't mine. I'm tugging at her hair, she's forcing me into a single point. Singularity.

I have two fingers in Tyler, she's holding me there and I'm arching up into her when she cracks, splitting apart and all over me like an egg. Everywhere. She shoves her face into mine, foreheads together, noses, her shades are off and her mouth is open as she shudders and mixes my breath with hers.

Her other hand lets go, finds its way up to the other side of my face, she's still leaning on me. I'm still keeping my hand on her. I want her to drown it. I feel every shiver. She presses, synchronous, hands down my neck, my shoulders, Tyler buries her face in my hair. Right next to my ear. She bites my earlobe. She lets a hand slip up my shirt. Her hand cups me, I haven't worn a bra since moving in with her, her thumb slides over my nipple. She slips her fingers into my tights.

Her fingers on my bare skin. Tyler puts a palm on me, over the wet patch soaking through my underwear, and her fingers are stuck between my clit and her thigh.

And I wake up.

I'm on the bus.

I'm on the bus, and I'm surrounded by young couples giving each other 9-hour anniversary STDs, and I've soaked through my underwear.

When I arrive at my stop, I walk for fifteen minutes to get to Paper Street. There's a hot, heavy mist beading on my skin. Thickening my breath. It's fat with the fart smell of paper processing and rich in heavy metals.

I open our door. It barely stays in its frame, sort of opening like a twice-hinged, fully-sized, single-doored saloon.

Tyler's in the kitchen, in her robe. She's smoking.

She stares at me through her sunglasses.

I set down my briefcase. I stand there, and she still smokes.

She's looking through me. She's seeing all my stains.

Tyler expects something of me.

Her eyes track me, all the way up the stairs. all the way to my room, to my moldy mattress. They see me shower in brown-red water and scrubbing furiously on my clothes. They see me wide awake, waiting for the bus the next morning.

I am always failing Tyler.

[slaymitchabernathy]

Sweet as Sugar

| this drabble was based on an anonymous request, i hope i have done it justice :) |

There is something to be said about having a routine.

Coriolanus used to scoff at the idea of it, of doing the same thing every single day without fail. But when Soarynn moved in with him, he began to look forward to it.

His girlfriend was a creature of habit in almost everything she did. The way she brushed her hair, picked out her clothes, did her nightly skincare routine. She was adorably predictable.

Which was why he expected her to be waiting for him when he got home from work.

She always waited by the front doors. Always.

His briefcase feels so heavy in his hand as he fumbles with the keys until he finally hears the familiar click of the lock unlatching. A smile creeps onto his face as he pushes the doors open, ready to see his beautiful girlfriend bouncing on her toes, beaming up at him.

She’s not there.

Coriolanus frowns as he steps into the entryway of their shared home. “Soarynn?” He calls out, setting his briefcase down on the floor. “Where are you darling?” He’s given no response which does nothing to ease his worrying thoughts and he’s quick to explore the penthouse in search of the woman he loves most in the world.

He finds her in the kitchen, leaning against the marble counter, her head hanging between her forearms. He notices how her body trembles and she takes shallow breaths. Is she sick? Just today his coworkers mentioned several people having the flu. He’d hate for Soarynn to be sick, to be bedridden for several days.

“Soarynn?” He asks softly, not wanting to startle his normally very alert girlfriend. Soarynn could hear a pin drop from across the room but she seemed to be in her own little world right now.

Coriolanus takes a few cautious steps towards her until he can rest a hand on her side and her head snaps up. Her blue-gray eyes are bloodshot and her normally tan skin is so pale. “What?” She snaps, her voice sharper than he’s ever heard it before.

Coriolanus would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken aback by her attitude. Soarynn is quite possibly the sweetest girl on the earth. To hear her with this tone of voice confuses him more than it angers him.

“I…you weren’t waiting for me when I got home. I came to check on you,” he explains, “are you alright darling? Are you sick?” Soarynn sniffles and shakes her head, “No. I’m not sick just tired is all.”

Coriolanus purses his lips but nods, he doesn’t quite believe her but he also doesn’t want to argue with her. Not when he’s practically paid to argue with grown men over business purchases and decisions. And speaking of work, he still has a few things to do before he retires for the night but he also doesn’t want to leave Soarynn, not when something is clearly wrong.

Soarynn must sense it, his apprehension because she straightens up and brushes her hair behind her ears before taking a few steps towards the archway that leads to the living room. She walks past him as if he’s not even here but he notices a stumble in her step. Is she drunk?

Coriolanus can’t remember the last time Soarynn was truly drunk. She’s always kept track of her alcohol consumption to ensure nothing embarrassing happens while under the influence. Perhaps she spent some time with her friends and let the drinks get the best of her. He watches her walk through the living room and towards their bedroom, once she’s out of sight, he shakes himself from his doubtful thoughts.

She’s fine. She’s tired and will be fine tomorrow.

He looks over at the kitchen table to see a plate of food waiting for him like always. They usually eat together but that’s clearly not happening tonight. So Coriolanus has dinner by himself, it’s delicious like always, Soarynn is a great cook.

It’s when he’s going to scrape the last bits and pieces of his plate into the trash bin that he sees most of Soarynn’s dinner has been discarded. He frowns, it’s not like Soarynn to skip out on a meal. She’s always had a smaller appetite than him but she’s also just smaller in general so it’s normal that she eats less than him.

Coriolanus probably eats more than most anyways but still, it worries him even further.

꧁ ꧂

Sitting in his study with his paperwork spread out on the desk in front of him, Coriolanus can’t help but let his mind drift to the woman down the hall.

Maybe she is sick, or…depressed? He hates how he doesn’t know how to fix this problem immediately. The problem solver in him hates all of this so much. He’s normally the one who fixes everything for Soarynn. The second she’s faced with the smallest inconvenience, he’s the one she runs to.

How can he be her boyfriend is he can’t help her?

Coriolanus pushes his paperwork away, he can do it later.

He quietly pads down the hall to their bedroom and checks his watch, it's a little past eight which means Soarynn should be sitting at her vanity in her bathroom applying some sort of face mask. When he walks into their large bedroom he finds her in bed, fast asleep. He furrows his eyebrows, the Soarynn he knows and loves would never fall asleep without him.

Something is wrong. He doesn't know what, but something is not right.

꧁ ꧂

The next few days pass without a lapse. Soarynn it seems, has returned to her normal self, smiling and laughing with a bounce in her step.

Coriolanus watches her as she walks around the boutique she’s dragged him to. He made himself comfortable on the sofa outside of the dressing rooms, giving him a good view of all the clothing racks and the pedestal that stands in front of the wall of mirrors.

Two employees follow his girlfriend around the shop, offering different suggestions, taking an article of clothing to the dressing room if Soarynn so much as glances at it, asking again and again if she’d like something to eat or drink.

It pleases him to see how well she’s treated by staff members of all Capitol establishments. He’s worked hard to get where he is today, to be respected the way he is and that applies to his girlfriend as well who’s stood loyally by his side through it all. If he were to hear that some business treated her poorly, they’d be shutting down the next day.

Soarynn gasps when she sees something on one of the racks and grabs it before holding it up for him to see. It's a pink dress, fluffy and sparkly, just as Soarynn likes her clothes. He smiles, knowing that she's been on the hunt for a dress like this for an upcoming gala they have next week.

"I'm going to try on everything," Soarynn tells him as she walks towards the dressing room doors, "I'll come out and show you everything." He takes the glass of champagne one of the staff members offers him and nods, "I can't wait to see how beautiful you look in everything, darling."

Soarynn blushes before making her way into the dressing rooms, two staff members right behind her. He always enjoys how easy it is to fluster Soarynn who still blushes at the smallest compliment from him. She's easy to compliment, to praise. She's perfect.

He busies himself by chatting with the staff members, all of whom are gushing over how pretty Soarynn is. "She could definitely model," one of them says. She certainly could be, but Coriolanus knows his girlfriend well enough to know how shy she can be. Walking down a runway or posing for the camera is not in her forte.

When Soarynn finally comes out in the first dress, a strapless red number, she's met with praise from everyone. The dress has a rather high slit that Coriolanus knows will drive him mad after a long night. Soarynn tilts her head as she meets his eyes in the mirror's reflection. They have a sultry look in them like she's trying to tempt him. He nods, "We'll take this one."

Soarynn heads back into the dressing room with a grin on her face and Coriolanus patiently waits for her to come out with the next dress.

But she doesn’t.

One of the staff members however, rushes out and whispers something into another staff members ear who nods and scurries to the front of the shop. Coriolanus furrows his eyebrows, “Is everything alright?” He asks, his voice colored with worry. The staff member meekly nods and does her best to avoid eye contact, “Yes sir. Miss Soarynn is simply in need of refreshments.”

Refreshments?

He’s not given much time to mull over the peculiar choice of words before the other member of staff comes back with a plate of little cakes and a glass bottle of water. They had eaten breakfast a few hours ago, but Soarynn usually wasn’t one to snack. Coriolanus on the other hand took every opportunity to eat when allowed.

He waited for a good ten minutes before Soarynn finally came back out, a flushed look on her face and somewhat unsteady on her feet. Coriolanus immediately rose from the sofa and rested a hand on her waist, “Is everything alright?” He asks quietly, putting a bit of pressure into his hold.

He didn’t think Soarynn was trying to keep anything from him, but something still felt off from the other night when she’d snapped at him and then gone straight to bed afterward.

Soarynn gives him a small smile and nods, “Yes, everything is fine. I just felt a bit light-headed so they brought me something to eat. I feel much better now.” He wants to point out that she didn’t try on any more dresses, but Soarynn honestly looks exhausted. Perhaps they should just go home so she can rest.

“Box the rest of the dresses up,” he says, not taking his eyes off Soarynn who’s now fully leaning into him, “we’ll take all of them.”

Soarynn doesn't even protest and simply closes her eyes. It might do them some good to visit the doctor on Saturday, just to make sure everything is alright.

He hopes everything is alright.

꧁ ꧂

The next few days have truly done nothing to ease Coriolanus or any of his worries. Soarynn has been the complete opposite of herself, she's been easily irritated, she even snapped at Petunia the other day, something Coriolanus thought he'd never see.

She's been tired more and more, going to be as early as seven, not wanting to partake in any of their regular nightly activities. Coriolanus also found her hunched over the toilet one night, overcome with nausea and cold sweats. He worries more than ever for his girlfriend who now can't seem to concentrate on the simplest of tasks. Perhaps she needs to speak to a therapist of some sort.

He pushes all those nagging thoughts to the back of his head as he finally reaches his front doors and lets out a heavy and tired sigh. Work absolutely killed him today with three different meetings and two very lengthy phone calls.

All he wants to do is eat dinner and curl up in the bathtub with Soarynn. Hopefully, she's feeling better today and will be up for it. When he left this morning she was still fast asleep. He placed a kiss on her cheek before leaving for work.

When Coriolanus pushes the heavy doors open he's not even surprised that Soarynn isn't waiting for him. She never waits for him anymore.

But something is off. It's quiet. Too quiet.

It's almost eerie how quiet it is in the penthouse. Coriolanus swallows and places the keys on the table near the front doors, "Soarynn?" He calls, "Soarynn are you here?" He's met with nothing but silence and while he's grown used to it, he feels there's been a shift in the air.

He's more than surprised when Petunia comes bounding down the hallway, meowing as she approaches him. He contemplates side-stepping her but never in his life has this cat greeted him like this before. In fact, Petunia could truly care less if he died today or lived tomorrow.

Petunia continues meowing once she reaches Coriolanus and stands on her hind legs, resting her front paws on his leg, pulling at the fabric of his pants. "Petunia, down," he says, in no mood for games. Petunia lets out a yowl that for some reason sounds like a small scream to him, as if something is terribly wrong.

Coriolanus feels a shiver run down his back, "Petunia, where is Soarynn? Where's Soarynn?" Petunia springs into action and bounds down the hallway and Coriolanus is hot on her heels.

She leads them to the bedroom where Coriolanus finds the lights are on but nobody is home. He frowns, perhaps he misread the situation and placed too much faith in Petunia. But the cat is pacing in front of the bathroom doors, the doors that are shut. She scratches at the wood, meowing as she often does when she wants to be let into a room.

"Soarynn?" He asks, slowly approaching the doors. He's not given a response but he opens the doors and the sight he's greeted with is quite possibly his worst nightmare.

Soarynn. On the ground. Unconscious.

Coriolanus falls to his knees, his heart is beating so fucking fast he might go into cardiac arrest. "Soarynn," he whispers, grabbing her limp body, "Soarynn wake up, darling wake up." Soarynn remains unresponsive and he presses two fingers to her pulse point, letting out a giant sigh of relief when he feels the familiar beat. But it's much weaker than it should be and her breaths are shallow.

Petunia rests a paw on Soarynn's arm, her little blue eyes filled with concern as she looks up at Coriolanus, "Good job Petunia," he mumbles, "good cat." He inspects Soarynn's body for any cuts or signs of trauma. He pictures the worst, someone breaking in and taking advantage of Soarynn before leaving her here.

But one glance around the bathroom puts those thoughts to rest. He can see the tub filled with bubbles and her robe hanging on the hook. She's dressed in her nightgown but it's clear that she was going to take a bath before this happened.

Whatever this is.

And he's going to get to the bottom of this first thing in the morning. Until then, all he can do is care for the love of his life and ensure that she's safe and sound.

꧁ ꧂

Coriolanus keeps one arm tightly wrapped around Soarynn's waist as they slowly walk into the doctor's office. He managed to get the earliest appointment slot and Soarynn thankfully, woke up this morning so they were able to come.

From what she claims, Soarynn has no recollection of passing out, only that she was going to take a bath and suddenly she felt strange, like her limbs were numb and her head was spinning.

It's a miracle she didn't bang her head on anything.

Coriolanus makes sure she's seated and comfortable before approaching the receptionist's desk, "Hello, I'm checking in for Soarynn Nightingale," he tells the older woman who nods and types something into her computer. "The doctor will be with you shortly," she says. Coriolanus nods and makes his way back to Soarynn who looks nervous like she always does when they visit the doctor.

Soarynn hates going to the doctor's office. She'll do everything in her power to avoid coming here and Coriolanus often has to force her to come. Her health is of utmost importance and he can't allow her fears to turn into negligence. "Everything will be alright sweet girl," he says, giving her hand a squeeze as he sits down next to her.

Soarynn gives him a small smile but he knows that she's not convinced, "I just...I worry he might think I'm an idiot if I can't even remember the past few weeks," she admits. Coriolanus frowns, should anyone think of Soarynn as an idiot, then their days will be numbered, simple as that.

He cups her face, touching her skin so gently as if she might shatter at any moment, "You couldn't be an idiot if you tried," he whispers, "you're so very intelligent and kind. The doctor will know what to do, trust him to help you, darling."

Soarynn lets out a deep breath and nods, closing her eyes, "I trust you Coryo." And what a horrible source of trust he's been, letting her get worse and worse without acting on it until her life was truly at risk. What if he hadn't come home when he did? What if Soarynn hadn't been home and passed out in the street?

"Ms. Nightingale?" The sound of the nurse pulls both of them from their worrying thoughts and Coriolanus helps Soarynn to her feet. She looks so small right now, so frail and delicate wrapped in her pink coat. She had been reluctant to come to this appointment, she didn't want to leave Petunia who was somewhat traumatized from last night's ordeal.

"Right this way," the nurse says, leading them down a maze of several hallways before they enter a small room with a bed and a chair, "The doctor will be with you shortly." Soarynn pales at the medical bed and Coriolanus presses a kiss to the top of her head, "It's okay Soarynn, I'm right here, you'll be okay." He helps her take off her coat and gloves before grabbing her waist and sitting her on the bed, the paper lining crinkling under her weight.

Soarynn rubs her hands up and down her legs, nervously looking around the room. It's a standard room with medical equipment on the counter. "What if he tries to give me a shot?" She asks, tugging on his hand.

Coriolanus gives her a small smile, "Then I'll be here to kiss it better once he's done." That wasn't the answer she was looking for. Coriolanus knows Soarynn well enough to know that she wants him to protect her from all things, even things that are in her best interest.

They don't say anything else while they wait until there's a knock at the door and the doctor makes his appearance. Dr. Ferns is the best in the business and the only doctor that Coriolanus trusts to look after himself and Soarynn.

"Good morning," he greets the young couple, closing the door behind him, "I believe I'm here to see you today my dear." Soarynn gives him a small nod and Coriolanus gives her hand a squeeze, "What brings you in today?" Dr. Ferns asks, his back to them while he washes his hands.

Soarynn looks up expectantly at Coriolanus who clears his throat, "Soarynn has been experiencing several abnormal behaviors."

Dr. Ferns turns to look at them and raises his eyebrows, "Behaviors such as?" Coriolanus does his best to remember all of them but so much has happened with Soarynn, "Fatigue, dizziness, loss of appetite, irritability, difficulty concentrating."

Dr. Ferns nods and looks Soarynn up and down, "You're usually much livelier when I see you, your skin certainly has paled. And you mentioned loss of appetite?" Soarynn nods and lowers her head, "I'm just not hungry anymore," she explains.

Dr. Ferns shoots Coriolanus a look of concern, Soarynn can't afford to miss out on any meals, not when she's already lean as is. Dr. Ferns looks down at the clipboard sitting on the counter and presses his lips in a thin line, "Well, this could mean many things. But I'd like to run several tests so we can eliminate as many possibilities as we can."

Soarynn furrows her eyebrows and Coriolanus feels her squeeze his hand even harder this time, "What possibilities?" She asks him, her voice wary and untrusting. Dr. Ferns gives her a small smile, "Pregnancy for starters."

Both Coriolanus and Soarynn pale at the suggestion of her being with child. That can't be possible, not now, not when they aren't married. Dr. Ferns continues, "There's also several different conditions that have to do with your blood, so to be sure I'd like to take a blood sample."

Oh boy, Coriolanus thinks to himself. Soarynn hates needles with passion and she's so squeamish around blood. She draws in a sharp breath but Coriolanus is quick to nod, "Of course, run as many tests as you need."

Dr. Ferns leaves the room a moment later and tears form in Soarynn's eyes at the same time, "I don't want to get my blood taken," she mumbles, wiping away a tear.

It breaks his heart to see her like this, but Coriolanus has to know how to fix this problem. "Darling, I want you to feel better, I want to know that you're safe when I'm not around and it'll only be a pinch," he assures her, getting down on his knees and holding both of her hands in his.

Soarynn doesn't meet his eyes and Coriolanus sighs, he knows she's not trying to be difficult, that she's simply as tired and frustrated as he is. And maybe he wouldn't push for these tests so hard last night was the final straw for him. Finding her limp body on the bathroom floor did something to Coriolanus.

He would do whatever it took to keep her safe.

He can see her resolve slowly breaking, her stubborn walls finally coming down at his reasoning, "You'll hold my hand?" She asks, her blue-gray eyes finally meeting his. A small smile tugs on his lips and he nods, "Of course I will."

Soarynn sighs and her shoulders sag, "Alright."

꧁ ꧂

"Well, Ms. Nightingale, you're not pregnant."

Neither Coriolanus nor Soarynn attempts to hold in their sigh of relief when Dr. Ferns delivered that news. Even though they're an established couple, having a child before marriage would cause quite a scandal. Neither of them can afford that.

"But, after running several bloodwork tests, it appears that you have hypoglycemia."

Coriolanus blinks several times and feels his mouth go dry. What is hypoglycemia? And why does Soarynn have it?

"Does your family have a history of this or any other blood sugar-related conditions?" He presses and Soarynn frowns, "I...I don't know. Both my parents are dead and their medical records burned in the fire."

Coriolanus rubs his thumb on the back of her hand to soothe her. He knows how difficult it is for Soarynn to talk about her parents, both of whom died during the war. Dr. Ferns nods and looks back down at his clipboard, "Well, it seems that this is the reason you've been experiencing all the symptoms you've listed."

Coriolanus feels so small right now, so small and helpless. He thought coming here would give him answers and yet he feels more lost and confused. "What does this mean exactly?" He asks.

"It means that Ms. Nightingale's blood sugar levels are below what they should be. If she hasn't been eating enough then her blood sugar levels will drop, which can then lead to the symptoms you've listed and sometimes even worse such as seizures."

Well, it's certainly hard to keep her blood sugar levels up if she's not even hungry. Coriolanus watches Soarynn's face very carefully for any signs of confusion or frustration but she seems placid. "What do I have to do to feel better?" She finally asks, looking the doctor right in the eye. He offers her a pamphlet of sorts with all sorts of things listed on the page.

"Checking your blood sugar levels frequently is a good start, there are several options to do that, the least invasive would be pricking your finger and testing a small sample. Should your levels be below normal, something like candy or juice will help get them back up to where they should be. Also eating frequent small meals throughout the day is a good way to ensure steady blood sugar levels."

Coriolanus nods, that makes sense. A change in her diet might be necessary but other than that it seems to be a somewhat easy fix. And they seem to have caught it early. "Will she be able to lead a normal life? How come we weren't able to detect this sooner?" At twenty-three, he'd figure that Soarynn would've shown signs much earlier.

"Many people with this condition can go undetected for years before they start showing symptoms," Dr. Ferns explains, "and as long as she stays on top of her levels, she'll be able to lead a normal life."

Coriolanus feels a weight lift off his shoulders. Soarynn is going to be okay, she's not going to die from a sudden fatal illness and leave him alone for the rest of his life. He reaches out his other hand to Dr. Ferns, "Thank you for your help."

꧁ ꧂

"Try to eat something Soarynn," Coriolanus encourages.

She looks so small in their large bed, tucked under the covers, eyeing the yogurt he's offering her on a spoon. Soarynn pushes his hand away and crosses her arms, "I don't like that yogurt." This is the fifth yogurt he's bought her and it's packed with good things and sugars that will help her stay stable and yet Soarynn is set on avoiding it.

"I highly doubt this one is as bad as the first one," he reasons, remembering how a few weeks ago he bought her a nasty-tasting yogurt that not even Petunia would like. Speaking of Petunia, he watches her pad across the bed until she's standing on Soarynn's legs, giving the spoon a sniff. He smiles, "See? Petunia doesn't mind."

Soarynn raises her eyebrows, not impressed, "Petunia is a cat," she reminds him. Coriolanus pushes the spoon towards her again, finally getting her to taste it, "She also helped me find you when you passed out," he gently reminds her. Soarynn swallows the yogurt and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, "I wish I was like everybody else and didn't have to do this stupid diet."

She's frustrated and rightfully so. Coriolanus doesn't chide her on it, he simply offers her another spoonful. For the most part, Soarynn's daily life hasn't changed. She still goes out to events, still likes shopping and drawing, and going on dates with him. But she has to be more mindful, more aware of what's going into her body.

He sets the bowl of yogurt down along with the spoon and grabs her glucose meter, a machine that tells them the exact number her blood sugar is at. "Well, if your levels are good then you won't need to eat any more yogurt," he says, doing his best to make pricking her finger sound fun.

Soarynn eyes the machine and sighs, holding out her right hand to him. Coriolanus gently takes her hand and brings the machine up to one of her fingers, she doesn't even flinch when the needle pricks her skin, causing a small dot of blood to rush to the surface. Coriolanus takes a clean test strip and swipes up the blood before letting the meter read the strip.

He presses a kiss to her finger, "You're so brave darling, I hope you know that." Soarynn's sour face slightly falters and he can tell that she's trying not to smile. The familiar beep of the machine lets them know that it's done reading and Coriolanus gives her a triumphant smile when he sees that her blood sugar is right where it should be.

"Well done my love," he says, pressing a kiss to her cheek this time. Soarynn giggles and tries to push him away which further leads him to kissing all over her face. "Coryo! Stop!" she shrieks with laughter. Coriolanus grins when his lips finally find hers and they share a kiss that's soon interrupted by Petunia who quite literally butts her head in between their faces.

"You're a real pain, you know that?" He asks the feline who rubs her face against Soarynn's.

Soarynn smiles and gives Petunia a scratch behind the ears, "How lucky am I to have two doting loved ones to take care of me?"

Coriolanus watches his girlfriend and her cat with a content smile on his face. The past few weeks have been an adjustment, to say the least. Coriolanus of course, was completely overbearing once they left the doctor's office and worried that every little thing could cause Soarynn's levels to drop. But she was quick to remind him that she was more than capable of taking care of herself.

And of course, she was. But it's hard for him to let her be on her own, to shoulder this burden alone.

Coriolanus did everything in his power to make sure that Soarynn felt comfortable and normal. He helped her develop a new diet and did it with her, even if he wasn't a fan of some of the things she had to eat. He held her hand when they did blood sugar tests, and always kissed her fingers better.

There had been a few times when he nearly forgot that his girlfriend's health was a bit more compromised than most. Like the time they had been rushing to the theatre and his long legs were too hard for her to keep up with. He'd looked over his shoulder to see Soarynn leaning against a brick wall, absolutely breathless. They had missed the first half of the show trying to get Soarynn's breathing back to normal but he didn't care. He just wanted her safe and sound.

"You know, I need you the way you need sugar," he jokes, bringing a grin to Soarynn's face. "Do you now?" She asks, tilting her head in a playful manner. Coriolanus nods solemnly, "I fear I've grown addicted to you and your sweetness."

His lips are hovering above hers now, nothing but a breath between them, "Am I really that sweet to you Coryo?"

He doesn't hesitate to push his lips against hers again, this time more passionate than the last. He mumbles the next words against her lips, not wanting an inch of distance between them, "Sweet as sugar."

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

[piratefern]

okay so basically about your AU it's great but I honestly don't understand why scp 049 left scp 035 alone and what's with briefcase? *confused noise* I'm quite confused I do understand some things but some things are quite confusing to understand there backstory I will appreciate if you explains to meh clearly (*°∀°)=3

Hey :D! Thankyou for your ask :3

Basically, to understand the briefcase you’ll need a bit of context first :3

SPOILER WARNING (technically, im hopefully making them a youtube shorts series once ive finished with my main project, but we’ll see :3)

Hasel (or 049 :3) comes from 1340’s france. He had a wife and a daughter who both caught the black death. He was working as a doctor at the time, and tried everything he could to save them, but they died. His daughter’s dying wish was for him to live, which cursed him to live forever altering his form to something resembling a crow, the omen of death.

In this sense he is now a monster (or anomalous if you prefer) and now portrays more birdlike traits :D

So with this in mind, he feels incredibly guilty. He feels as though the deaths of his wife and child are entirely his fault because he couldn’t cure them.

This guilt manifests itself into a caricature of his wife, where she taunts and tortures him within his mind in a place known as the grey dimension (seen in my earlier birdsong project)

when he gets lost inside the grey dimension (more or less lost in guilt) his physical body turns to auto pilot, and will hunt down anything obstructing his path to “the cure”. This is the monstrous form we see :D

The caricature also produces a black vine, which is my au’s version of the pestilence :D He can see this everywhere, he believed it infects people, and he believes he must find the cure for it in order to redeem himself (this isn’t true, especially because this vine isn't actually real)

CONTEXT OVER

right, so Hasel meets dyo (or 035 :D) in 1601. They travel together and eventually fall in love :3 Hasel slowly becomes happier now that hes learning how to enjoy life, and continues his journey to find a “cure”, unaware that its staring him in the face, Dyo, who helps him to forgive and tackle his past, whether unintentional or not.

Eventually their story leads up into 1916, during the first world war. Battles, despite their nature, are an efficient way for Hasel to research the dead whilst avoiding killing where he can.

He had almost hurt dyo by accident after his monstrous form takes him over, and the vine was telling him that he was in the way, that dyo was stopping him from reaching the cure.

At this point something had been building up inside of him. It was a sense of dread, a feeling that something bad was going to happen.

And there it was. He looks over no-man’s land and all he can see is death. He can’t take it anymore, and that night he runs, scared of hurting his lover and scared of “failing” those from his past.

(…)

The briefcase however? Its not too important :3 Its a way for him to carry his supplies and it changes to keep up to date with the time period :3 He left it behind so dyo would know he’s gone. Dyo had also had this impending sense of dread, he felt deep down that something like this might happen, but he desperately tried his best to ignore it. So now he’s searching for hasel, the only person in his life who could never leave him, the only one who wouldn’t die.

So yeah thats it in basic terms :3 (after hasel leaves the caricature of his wife is replaced with a manifestation of dyo, masks comedy and tragedy and a mix of the two as it shows how his guilt has become more complex over time :3)

(Once he gets captured by the foundation the back of his cloak is branded with the logo)

any more questions lmk :3

I haven’t shared much on dyo since this was mainly a hasel focused question so if anyone’s curious about that then be my guest to drop an ask whenever :D He isn’t as built up but I do definitely have ideas for him :3

[mariipun]

Adventures of Wally & The Gang (plus their Caretaker)

Adventures of Wally and the Gang (plus their Caretaker)

Associates Meeting (one-shot)

Warnings: None. Just fluff and funsies honestly; silly antics some of the cast members get themselves into. By no means are my interpretations in relation to Clown’s work, and therefore, not canonically based. Consider this an introduction to the whimsical one-shots to come with our dear Caretaker and the gang.

Word Count: 1,970

Brief Description: Set in the modern world, the Welcome Home cast is alive and aware, living alongside humans. And you have been contracted to be their Caretaker. [you are referred to by the puppets as “Caretaker” or “Care” for short.]

Dedication: @nonomives @kandavers

 *blows kiss* Wanted to give you both this as my debut. 

[I am open to constructive criticism, feedback and ideas! Please inbox me if you have any! I’m a bit rusty with writing, so I appreciate any insight]

In a world much like the Muppets, puppets co-exist with humans. Although the colorful ensemble of characters from the beloved children’s TV show portrays themselves as sweet, educational, fun-loving personas-- when they aren’t on the air, they happen to get themselves into quite a lot of mischief. And you, the lucky individual that you are, have been contracted as their Caretaker to ensure these chaotic puppet actors stay on schedule and don’t put themselves in situations that could cause bad publicity.

You walked off set after speaking to one of the producers as the show had wrapped up earlier than expected. This made it easier to schedule the upcoming appointments you had meticulously organized around the otherwise busy puppet’s schedules. With clipboard in hand, you made your way over to the break area, where most of the cast members were chatting with stagehands, makeup artists, or lounging in their deck chairs.

“All right everyone!” You clapped your hands together to garner the attention of the cast, all eyes turning to you except for Barnaby standing over the spread table, hungrily grabbing at the box of doughnuts one of the interns had placed out. You deadpan at him before shouting his name, earning an audible hmph?! as the blue mass turned to look at you, a sprinkled doughnut hanging from his mouth, with two others in hand.

“Okaaaay—now that I have everyone’s attention, we have an early flight to catch tomorrow for our meeting with our studio associates, which will take place later in the afternoon once we’ve arrived.” You scan the break area to ensure they’re still listening, amused by Julie and Sally as they respond with shared squeals, already chatting about plans to sightsee the area and meet their adoring fans. Their bubbly response caused you to grin momentarily, before turning serious.

“That means! You all need to be awake, packed, and ready to go at 6 A.M. sharp.” You say sternly, now earning loud groans from a few of the puppets.

“Okay, okay.” You waved your hand dismissively to the choir of complaints. You didn’t know why they were complaining, considering they usually wake up this early in the morning to start the show. Rolling your eyes, you let out a breath, mentally preparing for whatever shenanigans these puppets will pull on you later. “You guys have the rest of the day to relax since it’s only 2 P.M. right now. Just remember, we need to stick to the schedule. I don’t want to have to explain myself to the Manager if things derail.”

With a resounding “All right” from everyone, you went your parting ways and continued to work out the schedule’s details. “Also! Julie, you better pack light! We are only staying for two days, so don’t bring your whole wardrobe with you—again…” You called after her, ignoring her refusal to do so.

[Next Day: 5:41 A.M.]

You grabbed your duffle bag, slinging it over your shoulder before grabbing the briefcase on your way out of your small apartment. Before descending the stairs of the apartment building, you turn back in to grab your coffee, yawning in the process. “Ugh, gonna be a long day.” You murmur to yourself, the lingering drowsiness from slumber not yet leaving your body. You check the time on your phone as you take a gentle sip. You only lived a 7-minute walk away from the set, which you were grateful for since (1) You didn’t own a car and (2) The Studio provided you with lodging once you agreed to be the cast’s Caretaker. The pay was all right considering the added bonuses of what the Studio provided for you, although, it’s probably due in part to the various applicants that had been hired and then immediately quit due to their lack of ability to actually wrangle the cast from committing any sort of war crimes. (Guess the Studio needed to give some sort of incentive for someone to fill the role). Taking on the task was daunting at first since you quickly learned how eager the members were to push boundaries. You didn’t necessarily blame them for being curious since there was still so much of the world they wanted to learn about. Of course, this made your job more difficult to handle at times.

[5:53 A.M.]

You walked through the studio’s hallways, quietly greeting good mornings to other studio employees as you passed. The meeting location for everyone was in room 2A, usually reserved for auditions, but opened for you to ensure everyone came on time. Arriving at the room, you saw that most of the members had already arrived. Poppy, sitting comically large on one of the chairs and leaning against the wall as she continued to sleep. Barnaby and Wally both lazily tapping on their phones; Frank and Eddie who were both reading; Howdy who had just strolled in with a loud yawn, and…. Julie and Sally? Who weren’t even here yet. Of course, knowing them Sally would come in ‘dramatically’ late, as per usual, and Julie would usually stroll along. You greet those who were already there good morning, earning a few mumbled good mornings in return and a quiet snore from Poppy. You leaned against the wall next to the entrance, taking out your schedule:

6 A.M. - morning roll call

6:10 A.M.- arrive to cars

6:30 A.M. - board private jet

8:30 A.M. (projected arrival time)

9:00 A.M. – early check-in

-

-

-

1:30 P.M. – production meeting

-

-

-

5:30 P.M. – dinner reservation (for self)

-

-

You nod, everything was still on track for the most part… Sally would soon come in beaming and entered the room with a loud, sing-songy “I’m here!”, followed by the same response as the heaving Julie dragged an absurdly stuffed suitcase in tow. The sudden intrusion caused Poppy to jolt awake, everyone else looking over as the pair came in. You glanced at the time, 6:12 A.M.

“You’re late…and I told you to pack light--” You comment, shaking your head gently as the two tried to begin explaining. Raising a hand to stop them, you turned to everyone with a small smile, went over the plans for travel, and ushered them all to the awaiting cars outside.

[8:32 A.M. Landing]

As the jet landed, everyone deplaned and entered the cars that would transport them to the hotel. Once you have all arrived at the hotel, you check everyone in, soon giving them each their own room keys on the same floor. You gave them all a nod of approval as you all entered the elevator and went up to the 14th floor. You all agreed to meet in the lobby after freshening up to discuss any further plans. As you waved to them, you entered your room and took in the welcoming atmosphere. Plush pillows, clean sheets, a stocked mini fridge, a desk, a great window view, and a bathroom full of high-quality amenities you would surely take back home. (No one’s going to miss a few small bottles of shampoo and conditioner anyway). You place your briefcase on the desk, plop the duffle bag on the chair, and throw yourself onto the inviting bed. With arms spread wide, you inhale sharply as you stretch, sighing in contentment for a moment. The temporary silence gave your much-needed overworked mind some peace, before going into the bathroom to get ready. You would soon greet everyone with a much chippier attitude as they had all been waiting for you in the lobby area. You took notice as more guests began to enter the hotel, some with young children excitedly pointing out Wally and the others, pleading to meet them as their tired parents tried to calm their resounding squeaks. It was times like these when you got a break, witnessing the excitement and wonder of fans felt endearing. You were with a group of celebrities after all. Trying to keep a low profile was, unfortunately, not an option in your field of work.

“So, what do you guys want to do?” Eddie inquires. Everyone began throwing out ideas, Julie insisting they go shopping; Frank, who commented on a museum exhibit; Sally wanting to check out the old (presumably haunted) theaters; Howdy and Poppy bouncing ideas about taking a tour downtown; and Barnaby mentioning an all-you-can-eat buffet. The overwhelming chatter droned out your thoughts as everyone turned to you, arguing that they “Should do this!”, “No, this—“, “Care, I want to—“. You tried hushing everyone as their voices became increasingly loud in volume, garnering more attention from the hotel guests as their rambunctious natures were disturbing the ease of the lobby.

“Hold on, hold on. We only really have three more hours before we go to the meeting, so we might not be able to do everything today—” You try to console everyone, your response not satisfying the puppets as they began bickering amongst themselves. You heard a few complaints that you were being too ‘strict’, too ‘uptight’, ‘just relax a bit will ya, we’ve got time’. You huff, knowing you needed them all together since they’d do ‘who knows what’ when apart from you. Maybe you should just ask to be promoted from Caretaker to Glorified Babysitter at this point, the title is more suitable. You attempted to hush them again, only to be met with more insistence that they do “this idea, or that”. You could barely put a word in as your eyes slowly fell on Wally, who in his usual laid-back manner, said nothing. Simply observing the conversations and locking eyes on you.

You could tell by his demeanor, mischievous grin on his face, he was brewing up a plan. Your eyes narrow, squinting at him as you both engaged in a stare-down. “Don’t—” You emphasized, everyone else taking notice and silently watching. “Wally. Do not—”

“Scatter.”

“I said-- Ah!--?!” Before you could protest, you were encased in oversized blue arms, Barnaby coming up to give you a hug from behind, his chuckles booming loudly in your ears. He picked you up slightly, your legs kicking as you tried yelling for them all to “Get back here!”. Both Sally and Julie bolted for the entrance, waving hello and goodbye to those they passed by; Howdy and Poppy scuttled away, continuing to chat; Frank and Eddie looked at each other before heading to the museum, as Wally sneakily exited stage left. You went limp in Barnaby’s arms, cheeks red with frustration as you slowly descended back onto your feet. He chuckled, patting your shoulder (insult to injury).

“You know kid, you should just take it easy. We finally have some downtime, just let ‘em go and have some fun. Same with you, see you in a bit.” He chimed, walking off to the hotel’s restaurant.

You stood there in defeat, running your hands up and down your face before pinching the bridge of your nose. As expected, it was gonna be a long day indeed.

[2:03 P.M. Associates Meeting]

“Shouldn’t they have been here already?”

“Yeah, I tried calling Care, but they hadn’t respo—”

You burst into the meeting room, hair disheveled, breathing heavy with Wally and Julie tucked under your arms while the rest of the members stood behind you with smiles and greetings. You stomped in, some of the associates just staring as you plopped the two in their seats as the others strolled in before settling down themselves. You said nothing, cheeks hot and nostrils flared before clearing your throat and smoothing your hair. You move off to the side, taking refuge in the seat placed against the wall. You finally slump, head tilted back and resting on the wall as the meeting began.

Yeah, you needed a promotion… and a raise.

[justmeinadaze]

Good Neighbors Part 12 (Steddie X Reader)

A/N: I have one more chapter of this guys *cries*. I'm going to miss them when the time comes!

Warnings: Steddie smut and all that that implies (I regret nothing), Cameo from Wayne being a cute grandpa and the elder Harringtons being assholes. Lots of fluff. Like ALL the fluff lol

Word count: 3012

“Wow. This place is beautiful.” You fling yourself excitedly from the dining room of the home you four were looking at into the kitchen. 

“Mom! The rooms upstairs are big!”, Dylan’s feet stomp as he runs down the stairs. 

“Kid! Chill out. We don’t live here yet.”, Eddie giggles as he follows after him. 

“It’s right within your budget and down the street from this guy’s school.”, the realtor smiles at your son. 

“What do you guys think?”

“I like it. It’s closer to Robin to so I can sleep in longer before picking her ass up.”, Steve grins at the notion. 

“Oh, you know me, babe. I come from a trailer so this is like a palace to me.”

“Wonderful.” The realtor slams his briefcase on the desk and pulls out some paperwork. “Go ahead and fill these out. I can get that process started immediately. He points to sections on the documents, explaining things as you. “Now you and your husband will put your banking info and work information here—”, he gestures to you and Eddie. 

“Oh, um, I’m not her husband technically. Is that a problem?”

“No! Not at all.” He glances at Steve who shakes his head. “Ok, so then you’ll just put single for everyone and I’m going to need some more information for the three of you. I’m sorry for assuming. You said ‘babe’ and I just—”

“It’s ok. I’d like to marry her one day.”, Eddie leans over kisses your cheek. 

“Ew!” Dylan pretends to gag.

“Hey! You calm down over there.” The metalhead kicks his foot in his direction making Dylan laugh. 

################

“Hey Eddie.”, Wayne greets you guys from his place on the steps outside of his trailer. “And friends.”

“You smoke like Eddie!”, Dylan points at the man in front of him. 

“Oh my god. He used to have manners.” You look at him apologetically as Wayne chuckles. 

“Oh, don’t even worry about it, Y/N. That’s nothing compared to how this one was. Well, come on in. Where’s Steven?”

“He had to work but we were in the neighborhood looking at a house and I thought we could come by so you can finally meet this weird kid.” Eddie gestures at Dylan who responds by sticking out his tongue. 

“That’s thrilling. It will be nice to have a bigger place, I bet.”

The four of you spent the rest of the afternoon together. Wayne was wonderful with Dylan. You could see when they interacted that he was happy to be around a kid again. After lunch, he took your son outside to show him the land and the car he was trying to tune up. You grinned as you watched Eddie’s uncle point to things under the hood and explain to Dylan what they were.

After coming back inside to use the restroom, you found yourself distracted by Eddie’s room. You had been in here once before but because you were taking care of him you didn’t really get to look around. You ran your fingers over the posters on the wall, beaming at the doodles scrawled in random places. There were notebooks on the dresser and you grabbed one before lying down on his bed. God, it still smelled like him. 

“Get lost, Princess?”

“In your past, yeah.”

Eddie grins as he crawls into the bed, lying on his back beside you. You pointed at the writing in his journal. 

“Was this for you Dungeons and Dragons thing?”

“Yes, ma’am. One of the campaigns we did.” He watches your face as your eyes scan over the material. 

“This is really cool. I don’t understand why people would make fun of you for it. The fact that most of this came from your mind? Wow.”

When you turned your head to meet his gaze, you were met with his lips. “I wish we had known you in high school.”

You grin at him as you close the distance again, kissing him slow at first before it steadily grew more heated. Eddie quickly lifted his head, glancing out the window to make sure Dylan and Wayne were still preoccupied. 

“We’ll have to be quiet.”, he whispers as he presses his mouth to yours. Reaching down, you fumble with his belt buckle before unbuttoning his pants, pulling them down just enough to free his cock from his boxers. 

Eddie spits in his hand as your hips rise off the bed so you can push down your shorts. He pumps his length a few times before position himself outside your entrance. Your head lifts up slightly as you watch him guide his dick inside of you. You both groan as his head falls between your shoulder and neck. 

He’s quick and precise with his movements, knowing you both only have a short window of time. 

“Fuck, Eddie, baby. Just like that.” You murmur into the fluff of his hair as your hands tug at his shirt. His mouth attaches to your throat as he tries to muffle the grunts that escape. One particularly hard thrust hit your g-spot just right making you cry out causing Eddie’s hand to fly up and cover your mouth. 

“Quiet, Princess.” He chuckles as he bites his bottom lip. “You feel so fucking good, Y/N. Can you cum for me?”

With his palm still blocking your lips, you reached up pushing two of your fingers into his mouth that he eagerly sucks on, coating with his saliva. Bringing those digits between your legs, you rapidly began rubbing fast circles into your clit as Eddie thrusts into you faster to match your pace. 

As soon as he felt your pussy fluttering around him, he removed his hand replacing it with his lips as he swallowed and stifled every one of your whimpers as you came around him. He didn’t stop kissing you till his rhythm become sloppier and you felt him cum inside of you. 

Eddie gently pulls out before rolling on to his back and gasping for air. He takes your hand in his and bring it to his lips placing a tender kiss on the back of it. 

“I love you, Sweetheart.”

“Mom! Mom! Come check this out!”, Dylan calls for you outside. 

While you’re pulling up your shorts you lean over and kiss Eddie’s soft, beautiful lips. “I love you to.”

You smile at Wayne as you pass him, heading towards the hood of the car your son is leaning over while Eddie sits on the front steps with his uncle who offers him a cigarette. 

“I like them.” Wayne lights the cigarette before passing his lighter to his nephew. “Kid has picked up a lot from you it seems.”

“Oof. Hopefully not too much.”

His uncle glances over at him for a moment before focusing on the sight in front of him. “Eddie, you aren’t your dad and no matter what you think or feel you will never be him. You would never hurt that kid and that woman there would never allow it. She’s not your mother.”

Eddie’s eyes remained on you two but Wayne knew he was listening. 

“He called himself my son a couple of weeks ago.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

The metalhead smiled before taking another drag of his cigarette. “Proud.” When Eddie finally turned his head, he saw his uncle grinning. “Wayne, I never thanked you. For taking me in.”

Wayne’s grin grew as he tossed the butt of his cigarette into the yard. 

“You never needed to, kid,”

###################

Steve knocked on the door to his parent’s house before slowly opening it and guiding you two inside. 

“Steve, honey, are you sure you want to do this?”, you whisper to him as you wrap your arm around his waist. 

“Yeah. It’ll be fine, I’m sure. My mom wanted to meet ‘the kid I’ve been seen with’ and my dad is at work so it shouldn’t be too chaotic.”

“Steven!” A beautiful brunette woman meets him halfway in the living room and quickly envelopes him in her arms. 

“Hey mom.”, he grins down at her. “This is Y/N and this little man here is Dylan.”

Unlike with Eddie’s uncle something about Steve’s mom made your son nervous as he remained hidden behind your leg. The man beside you immediately notices and bends down to take the boy in his strong, protective arms. “It’s ok, dude. This is my mom. She’s nice.”

“Oh, that’s ok. I can come on a bit strong! Hi there.”

Dylan politely smiles as he gives her a small hello. His mother reaches out to shake your hand and you grin politely as well. She leads you all to a dining room table where lunch has been premade and set out. Your son jumps on one of the chairs and reaches for a sandwich. 

The atmosphere remained awkward as small talk was made. Steve had never really told you anything bad about his mom but you knew enough about her to be hesitant. If you had been her you never would have allowed Steve to grow up in the environment he had feeling unloved and underappreciated. 

“So Y/N, you were married previously?”

Her question shoved you out of your thoughts. “Yes ma’am I was.”

“May I ask what happened?” 

“Hey Dylan. My old room is down the hall there. Why don’t you take my phone and go watch something.”, Steve hands him his device before watching him disappear down the hallway. 

“Mom, that was rude.”

“What? I’m just curious!”

“It’s ok, Steve.” You reach under the table to take his hand in yours. “He was having an affair.”

“Pfft, I know how that goes.” You and Steve stare at her as she takes a sip of wine from her glass. “My husband tries to hide it but as you figured out they aren’t really good at it.”

“Can we not do this right now?”, Steve begs. As if on cue, the front door opens loudly causing his eyes to squeeze shut. “Shit.”

“Well, this is a nice surprise.”, Mr. Harrington throws his suitcase on the couch before entering the dining room. 

“Speak of the devil.”, his mom raises her glass in his direction. “How was work, honey?”

“Good. Good. Exhausting.”

“I bet.”, she spits.

“Should I go get Dylan?”, you whisper to Steve and he gently nods before reassuringly squeezing your fingers. 

You politely smile as you pass his father and powerwalk to find your son. 

“So, Steven… still playing the family man I see.”

“I’m not ‘playing’, Dad.” Steve rises from his chair to face his father. “Y/N and I have been together for almost a year. I love her and I love that kid.”

“Yeah, well, you can’t pay the bills with love. I heard you’re looking into getting a new house. That’s exciting. Can Family Video cover a mortgage? What about things children need to survive, Steven? Do you even know what a kid needs?”

“Do you!?”, Steve snaps. “I may not know everything but at least I know not to abandon him to fend for himself while I go off to work conventions and parties fucking anything with legs.”

His father straightened up, challenging his son with his frame. “You better watch who you’re talking to, Steven. There may a come a time, and knowing you there will be one, when you need some financial support and I won’t be there to bail you out.”

“Dylan, wait!” Your son flew into the room and pushed himself between the two men. He looked up at Mr. Harrington with angry eyes. 

“Don’t talk to him that way! Steve is my dad and you should be nice!”

His father looked down at Dylan in complete bewilderment. Steve collected him in his arms and the boy promptly wrapped his arms around his neck. 

“Do whatever you want, Dad but no matter what this is my family.” He reaches for your hand which you eagerly take and head out the front door. 

##############

“Hey, you good, little man?”, Steve asks Dylan as they enter your apartment. 

“I’m ok. Are you? When my daddy was mean to me it always made me feel bad.”

“I’m ok. Thank you for sticking up for me.” You son smiles up him before running to turn on the tv. 

“Hey, weirdo. I’m going to take Steve in my room so we can talk for a bit. Try not to burn the place down.” 

He scrunches his tiny face at you and you do the same back. Grabbing Steve’s hand, you lead him into your room. As soon as you turn to face him, his lips are on yours. He walks you back towards your bathroom, quickly shutting the door and pushing you against it. 

His mouth sucks and bites at your neck as his fingers pull at your jeans, roughly tugging them down. As soon as you step out of them, he lifts you by your thighs on to the counter. Steve holds your legs open as he sinks to the floor, pressing his face into your cunt.

You moan as his tongue invades your entrance. “Steve, please.”

He licks up your folds, pausing to wrap his mouth around your clit making your squirm. You watch him multitask as his hands reach down to pull off belt and push down his pants. 

“Steve, please.”, you beg again. “I want to feel you inside of me.”

He rises back up to his feet, pumping his cock with the precum that was leaking out before pushing himself inside of your needy pussy. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you whimpered. 

“Are you ok?”, he panted as he carefully pushed himself further into you. “You’re… really fucking tight.” His head falls on to yours as he leans in to place a kiss on your lips. 

“Yeah, I’m ok. Just go slow at first.”

“Anything for you, baby. I’m sorry.”

“Steve,” you giggle. “It’s fine. You two are just wearing this old lady out.”

A mix between a chuckle and moan escape his mouth. “You’re not old and I meant about today with my parents.”

He stood still when he bottomed out, just relishing in the feel of you around him. “Honey, you have no reason to be sorry.” You tenderly push his hair away from his forehead. “I’m sorry you have to put up with that.”

Steve begins steadily thrusting into you, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. “Jesus…”

“You…you can go a little faster now.”

His arms loop under your knees, lifting them up and sliding you closer to the edge of the sink. With his cock pumping into you more rapidly at this new angle, you felt like you were coming undone. You clasped your hand over your mouth to control the urge to scream out his name. 

Steve feels your pussy tightening around him as he drops one of your legs to rub his thumb over your clit. Your body shakes as you cum, your hand lunging for his own. 

Gripping both your legs again, he thrusts harder into you chasing his own high. His waist sputters as he releases deep within your body. 

After he pulls out of your now sore and sensitive hole, he reaches for the washrag in the cabinet and cleans you up. 

“Steve?” He answers you with a hm as he focuses on his task. “You’re not like him, you know. Your dad.”

He throws the rag in the sink behind you and lifts you up to place you back down on your feet. 

“I know.”

“Steve.” You playfully raise an eyebrow in his direction as he slides your panties up your hips. 

“I just… you’ll never have to worry, ok? I would never make you feel like I don’t appreciate you or that I don’t care about Dylan.”

“He called you dad.” You smile as he blushes, pulling up his pants. “How did it feel?”

“Good. The fact that he feels that way about us… it’s an honor. Scary but…”, he laughs.

“Welcome to being a parent! It’s always scary but worth it. When he was born, I remember being terrified that I was going to fuck up but when I held him and he looked up at me I knew. I knew I would do anything I could to protect this kid and make him happy.”

Steve tugs on your shirt, pulling you to him for a hug. 

##################

“So… they are going to Rivendell to destroy the ring?”, Steve’s eyebrows furrow as he glances at Eddie before focusing his attention back to the tv. 

“Noooo… they are going to Mordor to destroy the ring. They just left Rivendell.” You giggle at Eddie’s tone as he tries to not come off as annoyed.

“Mordor is the only place that can destroy it.”, Dylan’s eyes remain glued to the screen in front of him. 

Your phone on the counter rings and you smile as you get up to answer it, listening to them continue to banter. 

“See? He’s seven and he’s paying more attention.”

“I’m paying attention! There are just too many weird names to remember.”

“Hello?”, you laugh out. There’s silence as you listen to the person on the other end speak. “Oh my god. Thank you! Thank you so much!”

Steve pauses the movie as you hang up jumping towards your three boys with giddy excitement. “We got it. We got the house!”

“Are you serious?!” he gets up quickly, wrapping you in his arms.

“Wow, that’s fucking amazing. I don’t think I’ve lived in an actual house before.”, Eddie grins as you smack his chest before placing a kiss on his lips. 

“When are we moving?”, Dylan asks from his place by your side. 

You reach down to tussle his hair. “Um, next month. Jesus, there’s a lot we need to do beforehand.”

“Ay, Princess. Breathe. We have plenty of time. Tomorrow we can sort all that out. Today, we make fun of Harrington for not understanding Lord of the Rings.”

“It’s not my fault this stuff is confusing!”

#############

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