#its 420 somewhere in the world ...

[coyoteworks]

HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAYYYYY ITS STILL THE 20TH HERE 🫶🫶

Thank you!!!! 🫶🫶🫶

[totowlff]

somewhere in the haze

➝ when your race for generational talent came to an end, you didn't expect to be so shaken. however, you also did not expect to be supported precisely by your great rival

➝ word count: 4,4k

➝ warnings: mentions of health problems

➝ author’s note: i don't even remember the last time i wrote a one-shot, but this one made me particularly happy. hope you like it.

Sitting at the dark marble-colored bar, you stared at the aperol spritz you'd ordered, the slice of orange floating amongst the slivers of ice that still lingered at the bottom of the glass. You typically didn’t make a habit of drinking, especially by yourself, the night before a Formula 2 feature race.

However, you felt like you deserved a drink or two, especially after the insanity of the last few months.

You downed what was left in your drink and signaled to the bartender for another. The man nodded, whisking your glass, with its lone orange slice, away. You stared at the veins of the marble bar top, losing your gaze in the faint white veins running through the stone as the image of a young boy’s face filled your mind. His dark eyes were filled with tears, and his lower lip was trembling.

“You said they would accept me,” he repeated in your head.

— Y/N? — a familiar voice asked behind you.

You sighed deeply. Of course he was here. Why would he be anywhere else in the damned city aside from this exact hotel bar?

You glanced to your side and found a tall man looking at you with a serious expression on his face. It was just like that afternoon a few months ago, in that cramped garage in the Italian countryside.

The sky was gray and depressing that day, but the environment at the track was electric.

You were in Lonato del Garda for two days already, following the ROK Cup International Final 2018, one of the main karting competitions in Italy. It brought together more than 420 drivers from 21 countries, all looking for a chance in the world of motorsport. Something you could offer them.

The prancing horse embroidered on your jacket was proof of that. You worked for Scuderia Ferrari, and your job with the team was scouting talented up-and-coming drivers for the Ferrari Driver Academy. Judging by the eight laps you’d just watched, you found one, and a good one.

As you walked through the garages, looking for the number 633 in the columns, you mentally reviewed the information you had gotten about the boy by talking to other people who were there.

His name was Andrea, but everyone called him by his middle name, Kimi. His father, Marco, was a driver as well, and was extremely passionate about the sport, to the point of having founded a team with the family surname. Kimi had been racing around Europe for three years, winning championships and drawing attention for his impressive results, as well as his mature and extremely intelligent racing style.

“He’s exactly what I want”, you thought, as you strolled into the garage marked with his number. You expected to find the boy with his father and his mechanics, but to your surprise - and not a pleasant surprise - there was a tall man standing next to Kimi’s cart, his hands resting on the equipment.

— Your overtake on the third lap was fantastic — you heard that familiar voice say, with its deep and distinct accent. “Damn you”, you said mentally, as you approached the three.

— Indeed it was — you said, forcing your face into a pleasant smile.

The three of them looked up at you, each with a different expression. While Kimi and his dad looked excited to see you, the man clearly looked annoyed.

— Y/N, what a surprise to see you here — Toto Wolff said, dryly.

— Don't act like you don't expect me to be here, Wolff. You know I'm always on the lookout at these competitions — you replied in the same tone, while approaching the boy — Besides, I was told there was a boy with the name of a champion running around here. You must be Kimi, right?

The boy smiled.

— Yes, that’s me.

— I'm Y/N Y/L/N, nice to meet you — you replied, holding out your hand to shake his.

— Are you from Ferrari? — he asked, his brown eyes glued to the prancing horse on your jacket.

— Yes, I'm with the Ferrari Driver Academy. As you may know, I’m always looking for drivers that can be developed within our program, as we did with Jules Bianchi, Sergio Perez, Lance Stroll and, more recently, Charles Leclerc.

— Never mind that none of them drive for Ferrari at the moment — Toto said from behind you, his voice dry and detached

— We are not looking for talent just to feed our team, Toto, but the whole category and the sport as a whole. Better than some teams that claim to have a driver academy and haven't actually recruited any drivers yet — you spat, glancing back over your shoulder. You could see his jaw clench — But Ferrari has already nurtured the careers of several drivers in all steps of the feeder series, through Formula 1. And I would love to have someone like you, Kimi.

— Good evening, Wolff.

— Didn't expect to find you here — Toto said, sitting in the stool next to yours.

— You know I always come to watch the feeder series races, Toto.

— I was talking about this hotel, Y/N. You always stay where the rest of Ferrari stays, don’t you?

— They ran out of rooms — you muttered, nodding to the bartender as he placed your second Aperol spritz in front of you. You took a sip, and squeezed the orange slice into the drink. 

— So you decided to stay here?

— Yes, Toto. Does that bother you? — you sneered.

— Not at all, Y/N — he replied — If I’m being honest, I actually prefer your presence to that of most other people’s. 

His words had you looking at him with pursed lips. He was wearing a denim shirt and cream-colored dress pants. His hair was a bit mussed. He had a playful smile on his face that somehow never failed to make you feel strangely lighter.

— If Christian saw us talking like this, he’d be jealous. You know that, right? 

— I hope so — Toto murmured, before waving to the bartender and ordering a beer — But I don’t care. If I could get away with it, I'd run him over with my car at the first opportunity.

— Wouldn’t we all — you muttered, before taking another sip of your drink. When the bartender set his beer in front of him, he took a generous gulp, and an uncomfortable silence stretched between you, as both of you were undoubtedly thinking about the month before.

Especially after everything that had happened.

Sitting in the Antonelli family’s living room, you knew you had won. Kimi was sitting next to you on the sofa, showing some newspaper clippings and photos, while Marco told more about his son's participation in karting competitions around Italy.

— His first real competition was the Easykart International Grand Final in 2015, at the Circuito de Lignano. Kimi won almost two seconds ahead of second place, it was fantastic.

— That was the day I knew for sure that I didn't want to stop racing — the boy said, smiling.

— And I hope you don't, Kimi — you replied, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder — You're very talented, one of the most talented boys I've ever seen.

— Toto said the same thing the last time we met — the boy said, smiling — He said that I have the potential to drive in Formula 1 someday.

The mention of Toto made you tense up, a wan smile tugging at your lips.

— I usually say that Toto doesn't know what he's talking about, but this time I'll have to agree with him. You really do.

A gleam of hope appeared in Kimi’s eyes.

— Kimi, dear, can you put these things away?  — Marco asked. However, when you looked at Kimi’s father, you realized what his intention was. 

— Yes, dad — he replied as he got up to take the photos back to where the family kept them. The silence lasted for a few seconds, the sound of some children's television program drifting into the room, making the silence even more tense.

— My son is very excited — Kimi's father finally said — He only knows how to talk about your interest, how he might be on the verge of becoming a Ferrari driver…

— That's excellent, Marco — you replied, smiling.

— But I can’t help being a bit worried, Y/N.

You swallowed hard.

— Worried?

The man in the armchair took a deep breath.

— We are reaching a point in Kimi's career where he needs to step up into a higher category. He wants to go into single-seaters, like Formula Renault or Formula 4, and I fully support him, and want that for him, too.

He didn't have to say another word for you to know what the problem was. Despite having a privileged and much more comfortable condition than that of many other boys, the Antonelli family was not wealthy to the point of being able to fund Kimi’s racing career themselves, especially in a category much more expensive than karts.

It seemed strange, as Marco had a racing team, and Kimi already had some sponsor backing, but nothing of that was able to guarantee that he would be racing in the following years, especially in the category he wanted.

— I know, Marco.

— I want to offer a sure thing to my son, so that he can dedicate himself to his racing career without having to worry about running out of money and having to drop out of a series mid-season. To have the backing of Ferrari would be amazing…

You smiled.

— Will be amazing, you mean. It will be.

Toto took another sip of his beer.

— I guess you heard the news, huh? — he said softly.

— What news?

He was silent for a few seconds.

— We reached an agreement with Kimi.

You raised the glass to your lips, taking a generous sip of your drink.

— Congratulations — you muttered, trying to disguise your frustration.

— For what?

— You won.

He put the beer bottle down and turned to you, one eyebrow raised.

— Won what?

You huffed in frustration.

— Won the battle. Our fight for Kimi.

— Y/N…

— It's fine to celebrate your victory, Toto. You’ve signed a generational talent, the future of motorsport. If it were me, I wouldn’t be able to stop bragging about having managed to sign him. I probably would have spent the rest of my career reminding you of it.

— Y/N, you know I was already resigned to the idea of not having him in our program.

— Were you?

— Yes. I thought it was a long shot, truly. 

You sneered.

— You've got to be kidding.

— I’m serious — he said, his face set in a serious expression — I knew I was going to lose. I could have offered to fully fund his entire career myself, but I knew it wouldn't matter if you made him an offer.

— I…

— Having your attention means having Ferrari's attention, and what Italian kid wouldn't want to drive for Ferrari?

You looked back at your glass, the squeezed-out sliver of orange bobbing along the top of your drink. He wasn't wrong.

— I had already started talking to the family of another boy who was in the same championship with Kimi that weekend — Toto continued — Until you called me, Y/N. You begged me to sign with him, to take him. I… Thought it was strange, but I’m not ungrateful, but I’ve been meaning to ask… Why?

The question brought another memory back, something churning in your stomach.

Kimi's eyes sparkled as she stared at the screen that was just above the red reception desk. Looking at the images of the celebration of Sebastian Vettel's last victory, in Belgium, the previous year. Kimi was probably imagining himself in the German driver's shoes, winning trophies in those legendary red overalls. You were imagining the same thing as you went to greet him

— Good morning, Kimi! — you said happily — How are you?

— I’m fine, Y/N, looking forward to seeing everything — he replied, as his father smiled at you.

— We appreciate your invitation, Y/N, it was very generous of you to invite us to Maranello — Marco said, placing a hand on his son's shoulder.

— It was the least I could do for our future academy driver. Shall we start with a little tour?

You guided the boy and his father through the Gestione Sportiva, pleased with the absolute enchantment on Kimi’s face. He seemed interested in every aspect of the factory, asking questions and revealing a bit of his own familiarity with it all, considering he had grown up around racing cars.

However, you were most looking forward to showing him the simulator. All of the academy drivers used it, including the team’s Formula 1 drivers.Something told you he would love to try it himself, and after a few conversations with the simulation engineers, you got the go-ahead for him to do a few laps himself. 

As you told him this, Kimi’s face broke into a broad smile.

— Are you serious? Like, really?

— Of course, do you think I would joke about such a thing?

— This is amazing! Thank you, Y/N — he exclaimed, giving you a hug. You reciprocated almost immediately. Your heart felt warm and full. 

During your time negotiating with Kimi and his family, you couldn’t help but develop a fondness for him. It was something simple and sincere, similar to the affection you felt for the other drivers at the academy, who you were proud to call “my boys”. And you were sure that Kimi would be part of that little family that you had formed inside Ferrari.

With a generic overalls and a helmet provided by the simulation engineers, the boy sat in the cockpit in silence, while the virtual version of Monza was set up for him to do a few laps.

— Charles broke the record for this track  — Ash muttered, as he typed something on the computer.

— What was his time?

— 1:20'05'' — he replied, starting the simulation.

Seeing Kimi’s speed in a kart was already impressive, but you were astonished seeing the ease with which he piloted the single-seater, even if it was just a simulacrum. It didn't take the boy long to adjust to the buttons and controls on the steering wheel and to do several quick laps, the surroundings of the circuit becoming a blur on the screen, as he accelerated through the curves.

— Fuck…

— What? — you asked, noticing Ash's surprise as he stared at his workstation.

— That’s not possible — he continued to type something into the computer, before looking at you, wide-eyed — He’s beaten Charles’ time. 

You downed the rest of the drink in front of you. The memory of the boy's expression in front of you was too painful, even more so considering that you were the one who caused it.

— Well, he needed a place where he could develop— you answered, without looking at him — And Mercedes was the only place he could go.

— But…

— I took him to Maranello, back in February, with his father — you continued, your eyes fixed on your hands — He was so happy, Toto, so excited. I showed them everything I could, even the simulator. Did you know that he beat the lap time record at Monza?

— Who’s time did he break?

— Charles — you said, smiling wanly — Ash, the engineer who operates the simulator, was shocked, but I knew he could do it. It was fate. We had to get him for Ferrari, there was no other team, but… when it came time to put pen to paper, it all went wrong.

Toto remained silent, his fingers tracing the star on the beer bottle. Maybe he wasn't sure what to say at that moment, maybe it was a silent invitation to keep talking, so that’s what you did

— I had scheduled a meeting with Maurizio so we could finalize the last details of his academy contract. He already knew everything about Kimi, I had already spoken about him more than the other drivers in our program — you said, a pained smile on your face — He even told me that he was looking forward to meeting him and…

Suddenly, your eyes filled with tears of frustration, your lower lip trembling. It was as if all the feelings you had been building up inside you had found a way to escape, revealing all your anger and guilt for what had happened in the boardroom.

— We sat down with Maurizio and he started a whole speech about how he'd seen videos and numbers and had listened to me ramble on about him for hours and was really curious to meet him — you continued — After a few minutes of conversation, I asked if we had a proposal ready to present to them and Maurizio said no, because the academy would not sign Kimi.

— But you said…

— Maurizio said he was impressed, that his numbers were good and that he believed in his potential, but that Kimi was too young. He didn't want to invest in the development of a kid who wasn’t even in single-seaters yet, and the academy didn’t take on drivers that were still in karting. He just dumped Kimi, Toto — you said quietly, working up the courage to look at him.

Toto’s expression was soft, almost as if he was acknowledging that this was hurting you deeply. Then, in a move you weren’t expecting, Toto leaned over and wrapped his arms around you, in a tender and sincere hug. It made you cry even more, because he was approaching a facet of yourself that you didn’t show most people.

— You know that doesn't mean you're a bad professional, right? — you heard him say softly, close to your ear — Things don't always work out and that's okay.

Then you looked up at him.

— It’s not so much that they didn’t work out for me, Toto — you said, sniffling — It's that they didn’t work out for Kimi.

You felt dizzy as you accompanied Marco and Kimi to the reception area of the Gestione. Maurizio had never even hinted that he wouldn’t take Kimi into the academy, quite the contrary. He’d gotten your hopes up, which caused you to get Kimi’s hopes up in turn. Hearing Maurizio say he wasn't interested in signing Kimi was like being jolted from a sound sleep by being doused in a bucket of ice water. What made things even worse was that Kimi had ceased talks with other driver academies and other potential sponsors. Ferrari was what had mattered, and Ferrari simply let him go.

— Well, that wasn't the end I envisioned for our day — you started, only to be interrupted by Kimi.

— Why did you say that?

— Say what?

— Why did you say you wanted me, Y/N? — he asked. He sounded upset. The way he looked at you made something inside his chest sink.

— Because we wanted you, Kimi. I talked to Maurizio, he showed interest, he was willing, I don't know what happened — you started stuttering, your nerves getting the better of you.

— I thought you wanted to support me, that you wanted to be part of my future…

— I do, Kimi…

— Then why did you lie!? — he yelled. It made you shiver. You imagined this would look strange from the outside, a 12-year-old boy yelling at someone old enough to be his mother — You said they would accept me, I believed you!

— Son, please — Marco said, placing a hand on his son's shoulder.

— Kimi, I'm sorry, I didn't know what he was going to say — the look in his eyes made you stop talking. His eyes were full of tears, his jaw set. He didn't want to cry, but at the same time, it was like he was making every effort not to break down. Then, without saying a word, he turned and walked towards the revolving door that led to the street, without looking back.

— Sorry about that, Y/N — Marco said quickly, his eyes glued to the boy as he walked towards the parking lot — I understand your reasons, but at the same time, I can't help but feel sad to see my son like that. You know how it is for a parent, right?

The last sentence made you freeze. You didn't know how it was for a parent. You didn’t have kids. “It’s not like I’ll ever know”, you thought as the boy's father said goodbye and left you behind.

— So, you called me — Toto murmured, his eyes locked with yours.

— For some time now, I've seen these kids as more than just talent. A lot of them come to Europe alone in search of their own dreams and leave their families behind, and don’t have anyone they can count on, other than their academies and teams. When I say I see the academy drivers as my boys, it's because I mean it. I see them as my family, a part of me — you hesitated for a few seconds, wondering if you should finish your thought, but you did anyway — Like the children I'll never have.

— Don't you want to be a mother?

— It's not a question of wanting to. It's a matter of not being able to.

Another awkward silence followed, filled by the ambient conversations in the bar. Even still, it was like you’d lobbed a grenade and you were waiting for the explosion. However, Toto didn’t say anything. Instead, he reached out and brushed a lock of your hair that was falling over your eye with a strange tenderness. It was strange, considering your relationship was professional, but antagonistic, but you didn’t shy away.

— You can’t have kids?

— No.

— I'm sorry — he said softly — I'm really sorry.

Toto's expression was laden with sincerity. The way his brows were furrowed and his eyes locked with yours were ample proof that, in the midst of all your silly jockeying for talent in the motorsport world, he was a kind, caring man. And that scared you a little.

— I'll survive — you said, wiping your face and pulling away from him.

— But if it makes you suffer — he began.

— That's not what makes me suffer — you snapped.

— Y/N, you just told me that you see the academy drivers as your children because you can't have any, clearly this is a psychological response to your suffering…

You looked at him, with a serious expression.

— Are you my therapist now?

— I'm just stating the obvious here.

Your eyes went back to your empty glass. You traced the drops of condensation on the outside with your fingers as you considered his words. There was nothing to say, especially when you knew he was right. However, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of giving him another win, especially when he had already won so much from you these last few months.

You caught the bartender’s eye and ordered another Aperol spritz, neither you or Toto saying anything until another glass was placed in front of you. There was something depressing about crying to your professional rival in a bar, but then again, there wasn't much to do. These feelings had been inside of you so long that they flooded out as soon as someone asked.

— What now?

— What? — you asked, before taking a sip of your drink.

— What will you do?

— Honestly? I don't know. After what Maurizio did to me and Kimi, it just feels like I’ve been betrayed. I don’t even want to look Maurizio in the eye right now.

Toto looked at you, looking surprised.

— Is that why you’re not in the same hotel as the rest of your team? — he asked, earning a raised eyebrow in response — I should have known something was wrong.

— I’ve just gotten the feeling lately that my input isn’t… valued. But at the same time, I don't really know what to do.

— Why don't you get out of there?

— And where would I go, Toto? — you asked. In the end, that was the big question. It wouldn’t be easy to leave Ferrari, from a bureaucratic point of view. They might whine about your years of service to the team and try and guilt you into staying, or even offer you a big pay raise. But in the end, you could walk away. But then what?

— Well, Mercedes needs an academy director — he muttered. His voice was strangely casual as he picked up his beer and took another sip.

— Are you offering me a job?

— No — Toto said, a smile on his face — It’s just an observation. I’ve tried to get everything set up, but now that we have an academy in earnest, I can't dedicate myself to it the way I'd like to, because of my other obligations. I would need someone to do it and I would want someone with responsibility, intelligence, experience, and the love for what they do

— That sounds a lot like a job offer, you know that, right?

— Would you accept it if it were?

— Well — you said, but hesitated. There was one crucial detail: the first driver supported by the Mercedes driver academy was Kimi, and you doubted the boy would ever want to see you again — I don't know. I think your new driver wouldn't want to see me there…

— Kimi and his father know that you were the one who referred him to me — he said.

Your eyes widened.

— They know?

— Yes. And I believe they were very happy about it. You didn't fail him, Y/N, or destroy his dream. You gave him a chance, even if it meant he was going to a rival academy. And personally, I find that admirable.

— Is that something you would admire in an academy director?

— I appreciate the human aspect of people, Y/N. And you, despite usually being a moody thorn in my side, are a good person. That’s what I admire about you. 

You felt a warmth growing in your chest. It was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. You downed the rest of your drink in one go before getting up from the stool you were sitting on.

— Where are you going?

— To my room, I have a race to watch tomorrow — you replied, arranging your bag over your shoulder.

— You didn't answer me about my offer — he said, leaning an elbow on the bar.

— You said it wasn't a job offer, Wolff.

— What if it is, Y/L/N?

— I'm going to need to think about this — you said, trying not to smile.

— Want to have dinner with me tomorrow to talk about it?

You raised an eyebrow.

— Is that you asking me on a date?

— Maybe.

— Christian will be jealous.

He gave you a smirk.

— I hope so — Toto replied — So, do you accept?

You squeezed the handle of your bag.

— At seven, here?

— Perfect.

[omaravilhosomundodeeldarya]

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[mechanichronic]

its 420 somewhere in the world always

[newsource21]

Climate Scientists Say We Should Embrace Higher CO2 Levels

While governments pour billions of dollars into lowering CO2 emissions, several climate experts say CO2 is essential and higher levels are not a problem.

According to Patrick Moore, chairman and chief scientist of Ecosense Environmental and co-founder of Greenpeace, the climate change messaging isn’t based in fact.

“The whole thing is a total scam,” said Mr. Moore. “There is actually no scientific evidence that CO2 is responsible for climate change over the eons.”

Mr. Moore said that over the past few decades, the climate message has continually changed; first, it was global cooling, then global warming, then climate change, and now it’s disastrous weather.

“They’re saying all the tornadoes, all the hurricanes, all the floods, and all the heat waves are all caused by CO2. That is a lie. ... We’re part of the cycle,” he said.

“We don’t need CO2. For us, it’s a waste product—we need oxygen. But plants are the ones who made the oxygen for us, and we’re making the CO2 back for them.”

He said the burning of fossil fuels—which emit CO2—is a good thing for plant life.

“We are replenishing the atmosphere with CO2 up to a level that is much more conducive to life and growth of plants, in particular.”

Weather-related deaths and climate disasters have in fact declined “precipitously” over the years, according to John Christy, a climatologist and professor of atmospheric science at the University of Alabama in Huntsville and the director of the Earth System Science Center.

In 1925, there was an average of 484,880 climate-related deaths worldwide, according to Human Progress. Since then, it’s steadily decreased, with the latest report from 2020 showing there was an average of 14,893 climate-related deaths worldwide.

“CO2 is portrayed now as the cause of damaging extreme weather. Our research indicates these extremes are not becoming more intense or frequent,” Mr. Christy told The Epoch Times. “Thus, CO2 cannot be the cause of something not occurring.”

The U.N. is planning for countries to cut emissions to as close to zero as possible by 2050.

The plan is “collective suicide,” says Malgosia Askanas, a senior research and development associate at Aurora Biophysics Research Institute.

Ms. Askanas said the concern over CO2 is not based on science.

“It started with the hysteria of the New Ice Age and a little-known CIA report in 1974 that claimed that a major climatic change was underway,” she said.

“Later, the ‘global cooling’ alarmism morphed into its opposite, by employing the false notion of global warming due to excess CO2—which is chemically a falsehood.”

Carbon Dioxide and Life

Mr. Christy said the earth’s climate has “tremendous natural variability” and that it’s currently in a gradual warming phase.

“CO2 has been unfairly demonized because it is actually plant food in its atmospheric form, and it is the consequence of generating carbon-based energy, which unquestionably improves lives around the world,” he said.

He calls CO2 the “currency of life.”

“In past epochs, there were many times more CO2 levels in the atmosphere than today.”

Mr. Moore pointed to a graph that charts CO2 and temperature over the past 500 million years. “It’s very clear that CO2 and temperature have been out of sync more often than they’ve been in sync,” he said.

“That more or less negates the whole idea that there’s a direct cause-effect going on there.”

Mr. Moore says current CO2 concentrations are “historically low.”

“Going back 150 million years, CO2 was somewhere between 2,000 and 2,500 parts per million (ppm),” he said.

Generally, atmospheric CO2 is low (around 180 ppm) during glacial periods and higher during interglacials, according to the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

Before the Industrial Era, circa 1750, atmospheric CO2 was about 280 ppm for several thousand years, the IPCC states.

The current peak level in the atmosphere is around 420 parts per million (ppm), according to 2021 data from NOAA Research.

Mr. Moore says that that’s a good thing, and that the push for net-zero CO2 is a disastrous policy. Anything under 150 ppm is “starvation level” for most plant species.

“CO2 is only now at 0.042 percent of the atmosphere. And the fact of the matter is plants would prefer between 1,500 and 2,000 ppm for optimum growth,” Mr. Moore said.

“Commercial greenhouse growers worldwide purposefully increase the CO2 level in their greenhouses to between 800 and 1,200 ppm. Really, it’s about 2,000 where you’re at the optimum level for trees and plants, in general.”

Patrick Hunt, president of Climate Realist of BC, said people don’t generally understand CO2.

“They’ve been told that a warmer Earth is bad, although evidence shows that’s wrong,” he told The Epoch Times. “In the Dark Ages, it was colder. It was colder and not nearly as comfortable living during the Little Ice Age.

“But during the medieval warming period, they had enough money left over to build cathedrals.”

Mr. Hunt said biomass, or plant growth, on earth has increased by 20 percent over the past 40 years, “and 70 percent of that 20 percent growth is attributed to CO2.”

In 2018, NASA published a report showing that the Earth’s “greenness” was increasing, which showed that the health of forests, grasslands, and farms was more robust.

“It is ironic that the very same carbon emissions responsible for harmful changes to climate are also fertilizing plant growth, which in turn is somewhat moderating global warming,” said the report co-author, Jarle Bjerke of the Norwegian Institute for Nature Research.

Subsequent maps have continued to show increases in the Earth’s “greenness.”

Temperature and CO2 as a Net Good

Since 1950, CO2 emissions from humans have risen “exponentially,” Mr. Moore said, but the temperature hasn’t responded the same way.

“There’s no way that that can be a cause-effect relationship. The cause is supposed to be CO2. But if CO2 was responsible for warming, it would have warmed more than it has,” he said.

The agreement was enacted in 2016 and more than 195 countries have entered into it. President Donald Trump pulled the United States out of the agreement in June, 2017.

“The Paris Climate Accord is simply the latest example of Washington entering into an agreement that disadvantages the United States to the exclusive benefit of other countries, leaving … taxpayers to absorb the cost in terms of lost jobs, lower wages, shuttered factories, and vastly diminished economic production,” President Trump said at the time.

President Biden rejoined the accord on his first day in office, Jan. 20, 2021. The White House said addressing the “climate crisis” is one of the “four crises” the administration will focus on.

It’s impacting “not just the American people, but the global community [and] rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement is a vital step toward doing that,” said Jen Psaki, White House press secretary at the time.

Mr. Moore said the 1.5 degree Celsius limit imposed by the Paris Agreement is “garbage.”

“This 1.5 degrees that’s going to destroy the whole Earth? The Earth has been way more than 1.5 degrees warmer throughout most of its history,” he said.

“We happen to be in a warming blip now called the Modern Warm Period. But the Modern Warm Period is coming out of the Little Ice Age, which peaked around 1600—long before we started using fossil fuels.”

In a peer-reviewed paper he authored, Mr. Moore wrote that, according to 800,000 years of historical patterns, a major glaciation period would have occurred if humans hadn’t caused an uptick in CO2.

Mr. Christy said the extra CO2 might put off the next ice age, but not by much.

“I suspect CO2 has a net benefit when you weigh the advantages of energy and carbon-based products compared with living without this energy or these products. I lived in Africa and can assure you that, without energy, life is brutal and short.

“The concentration of CO2 is increasing because humans use carbon in many ways to enhance living standards. The response of the climate system is gradual and, in my opinion, entirely manageable, especially considering the massive benefits to human life it brings.”

Politics Versus Science

Mr. Christy said climate science has become a “failed science” as the questioning of its claims are “discouraged or even prevented.”

“This is especially true among certain political groups and the majority of the media outlets that I see.”

Ms. Askanas pushed back on the widely propagated concept that there’s scientific consensus about “the harmfulness of CO2, about global warming trend, about the increase in natural disasters, about the melting of arctic ice.”

“These are all politically motivated dogmas that are buttressed by careless or outright fraudulent data, statistics, and arguments,” she said, calling the U.N. net-zero plan “fascistic through-and-through.”

She sees the climate agenda as a way for governments to gain total political control.

Ms. Askanas outlined several government-imposed climate remedies including carbon footprint regulations, carbon credits, skyrocketing transportation costs, and huge government subsidies for so-called green initiatives.

President Biden, in his fiscal 2024 budget included $52.2 billion in discretionary spending “to tackle the climate crisis,” according to a White House press release. It’s an increase of $10.9 billion over fiscal 2023.

“As president, I have a responsibility to act with urgency and resolve when our nation faces clear and present danger,” President Biden stated on Aug. 16. “And that’s what climate change is about. It is literally, not figuratively, a clear and present danger.”

Politics Versus Science

Mr. Moore expressed particular concern over the impact and money being spent on the phasing out of fossil fuels in energy systems.

“With wind, you can’t predict it very far into the future, and neither can you with solar because the clouds are going to come. And so, you have about one-third of the time when those two technologies are producing,” he said.

“So, what do you do the other two-thirds of the time if you shut off fossil fuels? Well, the first answer would be nuclear energy, because that can do it. But no, we don’t want that in the West.”

Wind and solar, he said, “are not feasible, it’s not possible. It’s just a total pipe dream, a fantasyland. It can’t be done.”

Ms. Askanas agreed.

“Converting the Earth into a desert of solar panels and wind generators will still not provide enough energy. Although it might make the planet unlivable enough so no energy would be required.”

[iristeecom]

Elevate Your Style with the Latest Marijuana Hoodies 2023

Are you a fan of marijuana culture? Do you want to express your love for cannabis in your clothing? Look no further than the marijuana hoodie! With its comfortable fabric and stylish designs, a marijuana hoodie is the perfect way to stay cozy and elevated while showing off your passion for weed. In this article, we'll explore the different styles, options, and ways to wear a marijuana hoodie. Join us as we break down everything you need to know about this trendy and unique piece of apparel.

Fashionable Marijuana Hoodies for Men and Women

Marijuana hoodies come in different styles and designs, ranging from subtle to bold statements. Here are some popular options for both men and women: Classic Logo Hoodies These hoodies feature a simple yet iconic design: the marijuana leaf. They come in various colors and sizes, making them a versatile choice for any wardrobe. Some classic logo hoodies have additional graphics or text, such as "420 friendly" or "weed everyday," adding an extra touch of personality to your outfit.

It’s 420 Somewhere Shirt, Marijuana T Shirts, Cannabis Apparel   Cartoon-Themed Hoodies Cartoon-themed marijuana are a playful way to show off your love for both animation and cannabis. These hoodies often feature famous characters smoking joints or holding bongs, such as Rick and Morty or SpongeBob SquarePants. They're available in bright colors and bold designs, perfect for expressing your fun and carefree side. Strain-Specific Hoodies  

Cannabis Strain Shirt, Weed Shirts For Men, Cannabis Clothing If you have a favorite strain of marijuana, why not wear it proudly on your hoodie? Strain-specific hoodies feature the name and image of popular strains like OG Kush or Blue Dream. These hoodies are great conversation starters and make a statement about your preferences and knowledge in the cannabis world. Cannabis Culture-Inspired Hoodies Cannabis culture-inspired hoodies are perfect for those who want to express their love for marijuana in a more subtle way. These hoodies come in various designs, featuring images like rolling papers, lighters, or smoke clouds. They're subtle yet stylish and can be easily paired with any outfit. Luxury Marijuana Hoodies If you're looking for a high-end option, luxury marijuana are the way to go. These hoodies feature premium materials such as cashmere or silk, and may have intricate designs or embroidery. They're perfect for special occasions or when you want to make a statement about your fashion sense. Summary: - Classic Logo Hoodies - Cartoon-Themed Hoodies - Strain-Specific Hoodies - Cannabis Culture-Inspired Hoodies - Luxury Marijuana Hoodies

Different Styles of Marijuana Hoodies to Choose from

Marijuana come in different styles and fits, allowing you to choose one that flatters your body shape and suits your preferences. Here are some popular options: Pullover Hoodies Pullover hoodies are the most common style of marijuana . They feature a front kangaroo pocket, long sleeves, and an attached hood with adjustable drawstrings. They're comfortable, easy to wear, and can be layered over other clothes. Zip-Up Hoodies

Personalized Today’s Good Mood Weed, Gift For Men Women 420 Weed, Weed Clothing Zip-up hoodies are similar to pullover hoodies but have a full zip closure instead of the traditional pullover design. They're more versatile and easy to take on and off, making them a great choice for layering. Some zip-up hoodies also have pockets on the sides, adding extra functionality. Sleeveless Hoodies Sleeveless hoodies are perfect for mild weather or when you want to show off your arms. They feature a hood and a cut-off sleeve design, allowing you to layer them over t-shirts or tank tops. They're available in various materials and designs, ranging from casual to athletic. Summary: - Pullover Hoodies - Zip-Up Hoodies - Sleeveless Hoodies

How to Style Your Marijuana Hoodie

Marijuana are versatile and can be styled in different ways, depending on your mood and occasion. Here are some ideas: Casual Look For a laid-back and comfortable outfit, pair your marijuana hoodie with jeans or sweatpants. Choose sneakers or boots that match the color of your hoodie. You can also accessorize with a beanie or a cap for a trendy touch. Sporty Look If you're into sports or outdoor activities, wear your sleeveless marijuana hoodie with shorts or leggings. Add a pair of sneakers or running shoes and a gym bag for a complete look. This style is perfect for hiking, jogging, or yoga. Dressy Look To dress up your marijuana hoodie, pair it with chinos or dress pants. Choose a luxury or embroidered hoodie for an extra touch of sophistication. Wear leather shoes or loafers and accessorize with a watch or a bracelet. This look is perfect for a night out or a formal event. Summary:- Casual Look - Sporty Look - Dressy Look

The Future of Marijuana Hoodies in the Fashion Industry

Marijuana culture and fashion have been intersecting for quite some time now, with marijuana hoodies being one of the most popular items. As the legalization of cannabis continues to spread across the world, we can expect to see more innovation and creativity in the design and production of marijuana hoodies. In addition, with the rise of sustainable fashion and eco-friendly materials, we may see a shift towards more environmentally conscious marijuana hoodies made from organic cotton or recycled fabrics. Moreover, as technology advances, we may see interactive or smart marijuana hoodies that have various features such as built-in speakers or LED lights. These hoodies could be controlled through a mobile app or voice command, providing an enhanced user experience and making a statement about the wearer's tech-savviness. With all these possibilities, it's clear that marijuana hoodies are not just a passing trend but a staple in the fashion industry. Whether you're a die-hard cannabis enthusiast or simply a fan of comfortable and stylish clothing, a marijuana hoodie is a must-have item in your wardrobe.

Conclusion

In conclusion, marijuana hoodies are a fun and trendy way to express your love for cannabis while staying cozy and elevated. With different styles, fits, and designs to choose from, there's a marijuana hoodie for everyone. Whether you prefer a classic logo hoodie or a luxury embroidered one, you can easily style your hoodie for any occasion. As the popularity of marijuana culture and fashion continue to grow, we can expect to see more innovation and creativity in the design and production of marijuana hoodies. So why not grab a marijuana hoodie today and join the trend? Read the full article

[mitchbeck]

XL CENTER FUTURE UNSETTLED, STATE APPROVES FUNDING

By: Gerry Cantlon, Howlings HARTFORD, CT - The future of the XL Center is finally at hand. The Capital Regional Development Corporation (CRDA) is the state quasi-public agency with the unenviable task of having the XL Center as part of its portfolio. Its Executive Director, Michael W. Freimuth, said there is light at the end of the tunnel. Is that light a mirage, a locomotive heading straight at them, or the answer to an eight-year prayer? After months of wrangling, a legislative deal has been struck, but it doesn't spell certain victory. "For the first time, we're in the room, and we have made more progress than we have ever made," Freimuth said. Under two different governors over an eight-year cycle, the CRDA has been trying to secure legislative funding for a large-scale repair and upgrade of the XL Center into a 21st-century facility to compete in a competitive marketplace. "If the budget (for the renovation) comes in too high, none of this is going forward," Freimuth told the entire session of the CRDA venue committee during its monthly meeting several weeks ago. "If the budget comes in line, we can hopefully secure the OVG (Oak View Group) arrangement to invest in a long-term lease arrangement." Freimuth still strikes a cautionary tone as several hurdles must be cleared before celebrating. "Two things have been reached. The state commitment of the funds and the state has authorized the CRDA to enter into a public/private partnership (with OVD when a deal has been reached) have been accomplished." A deal is still under negotiations with OVG. "Three things have to occur. First, lock in the (renovation) budget. Second, complete a new CRDA-to-city agreement that agreement expires in six years, and we're already starting work on that now. Third, a CRDA/OVG public-private partnership agreement has to be agreed to. That was approved last week. It's all a blur to me. I've spent four nights in Hartford," Freimuth said. An exhausted Freimuth added, "Section 420:212 of the state budget if you're so inclined to comb through the budget. That will likely be converted into statutory language by a lawyer somewhere near some gallows. "It allows us to go forth with OVG that they will get control of the building for x number of years (20 is still the target) in exchange for their investment (pegged at some $20 million. "It allows OVG to run the building, but they have to handle the losses of the building ($2.5-$3M per year) and handle the upside to investing in the building, and the contract will have to contain some performance clauses. "That's where we get in the minutiae of the details; the devil of the details. He's gonna have some fun with this for a while," remarked Freimuth. Conservatively, the building loses two-to-three million a year. Over 20 years which becomes a $60 million loss on a $20 million investment. Is that worth it in the framework of OVG's national and international footprint? Freimuth elaborated, "Those are the three exercises we must do. The state has committed to $80 million ($51.1B state budget), and OVG has to do the $20 million that hits the $100 million bucket we need." In this recent budget, the state authorized up to $80 million. OVG has (Governor requires to commit the bonding) to kick in that $20M really puts us where we need to be. OVG would have to cover any annual operating losses but get to keep the first $4 million in yearly profits (there haven't been any in the last ten years). OVG and the Capital Region Development Authority would split any additional profit evenly. "The agreement has to coincide with an OVG agreement. We have to go to city hall to amend the agreement. The second part and the most critical is to get this on the street and get real world construction prices based in today's market." The bids on the new set of numbers $107.2M that hold the XL Center's future in the palm of their hands are set to be sent out very shortly. They are expected in the early fall when the CRDA will announce the results. During any OVG lease, equipment or other personal property added to the arena will be considered state-owned and not subject to taxation. It's a thorny issue with so many other buildings within the city having tax-exempt status. The state will not compensate any operator, OVG, or any other entity with a payment instead of taxes that will be required. If that's a deal breaker for OVG, time will tell. The fall time frame will be just before the UCONN men's and women's hoops programs begin playing and a contract of undetermined length and scope of dates. Then add UCONN Hockey East, non-conference opponents, and a yet-to-be-negotiated OVG and UCONN contract. That has to be done face-to-face with no third parties this year. The Wolf Pack will start their 27th season in Hart City as expected in a yet-to-be-announced agreement. MSG picked up its option as per the contract to the tune of $1.325M next season, as state money will foot this bill too. All eyes are on those renovation contracts and the number $107.2M. "We hope we get it close to the $107.2M number. If it's in that range, the project is a go. If its $25 million over, we have to walk away and go back to the drawing board. Can we leave some elements off the shelf and not include them now, maybe an option, "comments Freimuth, who off-handedly said if "that happens, I might put in my retirement papers that afternoon," commented  Freimuth after eight-long years of wrestling this bear. "We think we have good estimates, and we have built some contingencies in there in the budget for a little wiggle room there. The supply chain and the construction world out there is very fluid. If it comes in, for argument's sake, at $125 million, we'll have to say this can't work, and as I said, we'll have to go back to the drawing board and come up with a solution, whether it's us or OVG. If it comes in high, on the whole, it's not ideal. "There are ways to deal with it, but you can't run the building the way you want or should. That bid process is critical. It's a go-or-no-go-thing but allows the parties to say yea or nay." His comment shows just how determined and relentless Freimuth is on this project. Freimuth has said the document language is presently being done and reviewed by the lawyers before hitting the street. "We don't have the formal date; it might be one big package or in stages. I don't know yet. I'm making design teams crazy after ten years. Now I need one in a week. They'll be out late fall then we'll make a decision. "Then OVG and the CRDA have to reach that agreement and have it completed. Until that is done, the city agreement has to be done first so they coincide. There are so many moving parts. That agreement's structure is important and must meet those guidelines over the next three to five months. That's our second battery of exercises." The agreement being hammered out must outline future upgrades, remedies for breach of contract if they occur, and a requirement that the building operator would get from a future contractor for OVG will be furnished an annual, independent audit for the legislative report for the CRDA and the secretary of the governor's budget office would receive. The secretary's approval will also be required for any long-term management agreement between CRDA and OVG. This is the language needed for a public/private partnership. These are the delicate dance moves Freimuth and his CRDA team are attempting to finesse. Before striking a deal with OVG, CRDA will also need an agreement with the city of Hartford to extend the lease of the XL Center to the authority. The CRDA has tried for years to secure funding for a large-scale repair and upgrade of the nearly 50-year-old arena. Lawmakers have rejected a comprehensive $250 million plan it unveiled in 2018 but had approved $40 million for repairs and upgrades in 2017 and are working off that money now. The legislature reluctantly signed off on another $65 million in 2019, a week before the pandemic hit. Portions of that money have been slowly given out piecemeal over the past few years through the state Bond Commission for work at the XL Center to keep it operating. The calendar and the clock are ticking. "If we can get all three things maybe by the end of the year, we can give it a go. Then we start, and we can block off the next two summers to do this properly. Now, we have till July 2025 because it will take 18-24 months to rip this thing (the building) apart and build it back together again (for the lower bowl strategy). The idea is the budget allows us to operate during the sports season and when the place (building) is down for two fiscal years. We are hoping in two years (when the original Spectra deal expires) to transition to OVG management and presumably be finishing up the renovation by that time." An OVG no would be another kettle of fish. The CRDA would need to deal with that if it comes to pass and would create a nightmare scenario after all this work. OVG has operated the XL Center on behalf of the CRDA since late 2021 when it acquired the venue management and hospitality company Spectra, the company previously contracted to manage the XL Center. OVG assumed it as a successor in handling the last three years of the contract extended by the pandemic. The state budget contains an unspecified allocation for UCONN to use the XL Center in the non-Northland portions of the building to be negotiated with CRDA in the XL Center. That's when all bids will be received, reviewed, and selected or rejected by the CRDA and its venue committee with a provision in place. Freimuth expects to execute his long-planned "lower bowl strategy" for the XL Center and complete its long, never-ending intractable journey. The long-running three-year plus Atrium issue with Northland Corporation, the owner of this portion, granted a side deal by the CDA-the forerunner to the CRDA, is still at an impasse. Work regarding the loading ramp situation has been cordial and amicable between the two. "That's another critical area. Shows, now have bigger trucks and more of them. We tested it last year, if one truck gets stuck you could lose a whole show and a whole lot of money. It's important to both of us and part of the expansion does go over the (property) line controlled by Northland, but it's our nickel. So far, it's been an amenable situation so far." The Atrium is still at an impasse and not on the front burner. We're still a long way from the finish line… CRDA HOME Read the full article

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

a fuckening weds - 420 - birdsong softens as does a kitty - a good one - always - nuts out for murder not only midweek - missives begin - gotta get ready go out - in world - needles emergency  owee  - mostly psyche or O or somewhere in between - hallelujah - anyway - over act the overthinking when wat u wanted was a comedy  - special effects but u only  2d even if rose color around reality - its all illusion mostly empty  - space with vibes and waves - or something not a rocket surgeon pay grade so beyond me - the sea - bobby - jimi - eventually stars - we all shine on 

[girlactionfigure]

The incredible story of Milt Ruby Rubenfeld:

Milton "Milt" Rubenfeld Was a Highly Decorated US Air Force Fighter Pilot who also Flew for the RAF, and the Israeli Haganah Air Service:

Milton was born in 1919 in the small town of Peekskill, New York. Prior to the war, he was a civilian pilot, who even served as an instructor of aerobatics at one point. As soon as Britain declared war on Germany, he decided to take part in the conflict. The RAF was accepting volunteer pilots from all over the world, as the Battle of Britain raged above the isles. Milton would fly with the RAF 420 Squadron. 

It was there that Milton first experienced combat. Once the United States had joined the war, he was already an experienced fighter pilot with several dogfights stacked around his belt. But it was three years after the war ended that he made his contribution to support the many Holocaust refugees who sought to rebuild the Jewish state of Israel.

In 1948, the Haganah, which was the predecessor of the Israeli Defense Force, had set up an agency in the U.S. in hopes of recruiting experienced pilots to join the Haganah “Air Service.” Milton was approached by Hyman Shechtman, one of Haganah’s chief representatives, and asked if he would help the struggle in Israel.

Milton immediately agreed and very soon he was running transport missions in and out of Israel. To form the basis of the Israeli Air Force, he and several other pilots embarked on a course in Czechoslovakia where they were to train using Avia S-199 aircraft. The Avia was a Czech airplane roughly based on the German Messerschmitt Bf 109, but it featured a flawed design which led many of the applicants to quit the course.

Nevertheless, Rubenfeld, along with four other pilots who all had prior combat experience, managed to pass the test and adjust to the unreliable Czech aircraft.

On May 20, 1948, the five pilots reported to Ekron Air Base (now Tel Nof Airbase) in Israel. As of the declaration of independence of Israel, Milton Rubenfeld, Modi Alon, Ezer Weizman, Lou Lenart, and Eddie Cohen were the only flying staff of the Israeli Air Force. Even though they had five pilots, there were only four Avia fighter planes available, so one pilot had to stay on the ground during each mission.

At the outbreak of the Arab-Israeli war, the existence of this miniature squadron of fighters was kept secret. Their first mission was to attack an Egyptian armored column that was on its way to Tel Aviv.

Due to the lack of aircraft, Rubenfeld remained grounded during the first mission but got his chance to fly the day after. The first of the five to die was the South African pilot, Eddie Cohen. It remains unclear whether was he shot down, or his aircraft crashed due to technical issues.

Both Lenart’s and Weizman’s cannons got jammed during the flight. The Avia issue became more urgent than the invasion itself. The aircraft included defects such as the guns being unsynchronized with the propeller, and a tendency to ground loop. Weizman later commented that the main problem with the use of Avia S-199 was “the stress on the pilot. So much went wrong with the aircraft, it was nerve-wracking just climbing into one.”

Nevertheless, the mission was successful — their strafing round managed to stop the Egyptian forces, as they feared that the Israeli Air Force might have been much larger than it really was. As for Rubenfeld, he and Weizman flew the only two airworthy planes just 12 hours after the first mission.

They attacked targets near Tulkarm, in the eastern sector of the front, taking out several tanks and armored vehicles. In a dogfight with an Egyptian Spitfire, Rubenfeld’s airplane was damaged. He managed to fly back to Israeli-held territory before bailing out somewhere above the Mediterranean Sea, just next to the settlement of Kfar Vitkin.

Milton crash-landed on the water and tried to swim ashore, but was too dazed and injured to put enough strength into the effort. During the fall he had broken three ribs, had several cuts and suffered an injury to his groin. Just when he was ready to give up, a miracle happened. He simply stood up ― and as he recalled in a later interview, “the water was only up to my knees. I’d been swimming for hours in the water I could have stood up in at any time. I didn’t realize it because I was so far out. The farmers …. were shooting at me as I was coming in out of the water. They thought I was an Arab pilot.”

Since he spoke no Hebrew or Yiddish, he shouted the only thing he knew so that the Israeli farmers would recognize him:

“Shabbos, gefilte fish! Shabbos, gefilte fish!”

It’s the name of a dish usually served for Shabbat. 

As for the impact that he and the other four pilots made, the Israeli leadership agreed that it was tremendous. With just four planes, Rubenfeld and the others had delayed several offensives and acquired the badly-needed time for the ground forces to prepare and re-organize.

Rubenfeld’s crash also contributed to the defense of Kfar Vitkin, as the farmers managed to salvage a machine gun from the wreckage of his aircraft and use it to protect their village.

Milton's son American comedian Paul Reubens might be more widely known for the fictional character he embodies, Pee Wee Herman. 

The incredible documentary: "Above and Beyond" tells this amazing story.  

This gripping documentary unfolds like The Great Escape, a true-life wartime adventure story. In 1948, as the British withdrew from Palestine, and five Arab nations prepared to invade Israel, a ragtag group of young men from around the globe volunteered to defend the new country. Called Machal, or volunteers from abroad, many were World War II veterans from the US. Because of an embargo imposed by the Truman administration, Americans risked losing their citizenship by joining the fight. Produced by Nancy Spielberg, younger sister to Steven, this film celebrates the pilots who laid the foundation for the Israeli Air Force. It combines extraordinary archival footage and interviews with scholars, survivors and their descendants. Interviewees range from Shimon Perez to Paul Reubens, whose father Milton Rubenfeld flew combat missions. The bravery of these volunteers was incredible. The only aircraft available to them were American and German jets junked after the war, constantly liable to deadly mechanical failure. Amenities were equally scarce (many had to make do with discarded Nazi flight suits.) Despite their shoddy equipment, they exercised enough skill and trickery to persuade the invaders that their small squadron posed a far bigger threat than it really did, helping turn the tide of the war.

The Giant Killer book & page honors these incredible war heroes making sure their stories of valor and sacrifice are never forgotten. God Bless our Vets!

Story by Nikola Budanovi

The Giant Killer

[fineart4]

Moving forward/something somewhere 👽

Acrylic

61.5 cm x 51 cm

A world upon an exo planet with an unknown, thriving lifeform outgrowing its determined potential amongst the harshness of the opposing spectrum.

#art #fineart #fineart4u #acrylic #acrylicpaint #painting #artofinstagram #newartist #upcomingartist #2022 #scifi #alien #exoplanet #beauty #landscape #inspiration #photography #peace #love #420 #surreal #vivid #creativity #sky #space #structure #trippy #nightsky

[kkysolo]

hello! i’m just making this post to pin to the top of my page, for quick access to my fics and their summaries.

I’m pushingthesenses on AO3 and you can find me here. 

As it stands at the minute, all of my pieces are for Kylo Ren|Ben Solo and the Solo Triplets AU. 

Below, you’ll find links to my blurbs, requests, one-shots, series and multi-chaptered fics, as well as their warnings and status. Most work is for female!reader with she/her pronouns, with three exceptions - Intrapersonal, Swimming and Life-jacket (no described gender or pronouns).

Blurbs and Requests: 

Keepsake Series 

Pairing: Modern!Ben Solo/Reader Warnings: Daddy kink, somnophilia, mildly dubious consent, breeding kink. Non-linear, no plot. 

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four [AO3 LINK]

Daddy!Ben/Keepsake kink HC’s

Supreme Leader Kylo comforts you after an argument (Warnings: canon typical violence, argument, comfort). 

Modern!Ben supports you submitting a college assignment. 

Modern!Ben looks after you when you’re drunk (Warnings: alcohol consumption, sober Ben, drunk behaviour) 

‘Why me?’ with Ben Solo

Teasing Kylo Ren (Warnings: NSFW)

‘What’s this between us?’ with Modern!Kylo Ren

Multi-Chaptered Fics: 

Prism

Pairing: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren/Reader (female) Setting: Star Wars universe, canon-divergent.  Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, force bond, memory alteration/loss, kidnapping, eventual smut. (see AO3 for full list of tags and warnings). Status: Multi-chaptered, in progress Summary: After Kylo Ren’s fall to the darkside, Luke Skywalker rebuilds his temple, hoping to redeem himself by finally building a new Jedi order. 

Years later, somewhere in the unknown regions, you’re pulled from an inferno, with no recollection of who you are. What you do have, though, is an unwavering sense of emptiness, one that has settled deep into your soul. You feel a pull to somewhere, someone, far beyond your lonesome planet. Can you find what you’ve been missing?

The Cultist

Pairing: Kylo Ren|Ben Solo/Reader (female) Setting: Modern AU, cult setting. Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, mental anguish and referenced child abuse. Slow burn. Eventual smut. (see AO3 for full list of tags and notes). Status: Multi-chaptered, in progress. Summary: Kylo Ren doesn’t know where he comes from, or how old he is. He doesn't know what lies beyond the walls that confine him. He can count on two hands all of the faces he's ever seen. Kylo Ren has never seen a tree, or the ocean, or a flower. He only knows what lies within. It’s all he’s ever known. 

But you do. You know. You know that Ben Organa-Solo was kidnapped at six months old. You know he is twenty-seven years old, now. You know it's your mission to infiltrate the cult that's taken him. You know it's your mission to bring him home.

Correlating side pieces:

Tiny Raindrop (-1K)

Separate (2.8K)

Rhythm and Melody (2K)

Stuck On You  (Tumblr masterlist here)

Pairing: Ben Solo|Kylo Ren/Reader (female) Setting: Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, dystopian, modern, gangs.  Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, classism, war, gang violence, emotional hurt/angst, co-dependent relationships (eventual smut, fluff, romance) Status: Multi-chaptered, in progress.  Summary: The year is 2084.

Despite its advances, society has collapsed in on itself. The world is crooked, damaged, dying. Rezoned into new territories that separate the elite from the unworthy. Civilization is crumbling at your very feet, and in the midst of it all, your best friend, Ben Solo, has been missing for three years.  You desperately cling to what’s left of him, hoping that he’ll come home, praying that things will fall back into place. And then he does. And they don’t. Because life is different when you’re a scoundrel in the midst of a class war.

Even Flow

Part One / Part Two

Read on AO3 as a one-shot

Pairing: Solo Triplets!/Reader (female) Setting: Modern Warnings: threesome (M/M/F), voyeurism, dom/sub, sub!Matty, orgasm denial.

One-Shots:

Swimming

Pairing: Kylo Ren/Reader (no gender) Setting: No described setting. Word count: 420 Warnings: PTSD, descriptions of depression. 

Curiosity

Pairing: Triplet!Matt/Reader (female) Setting: Modern/Even Flow AU Word count: 892 Warnings: NSFW

Flicker, Fade

Pairing: Kylo Ren/Reader (female) Setting: Cult/The Cultist AU (correlates to The Cultist, but you don’t need any prior knowledge of the story to read) Warnings: Orgasm delay/denial. Word count: 406

Firefly (AO3 link here) *Requested. 

Pairing: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren/Wife!Reader Setting: Canon/Canon divergent Warnings: None Status: One-Shot, complete (1K) Summary: You’d follow him anywhere. 

Closer To You

Pairing: Modern!Ben Solo/Reader (female) Setting: Modern AU Warnings: None, really. Pure fluff. Song-fic. Status: One-shot, complete (2K words) Summary: Song-fic based on The Coronas // Closer to You.

Ben sees you for the first time in seven years. He is determined not to miss what could be his only chance.

Intrapersonal  (AO3 Link here)

Pairing: Ben Solo/Reader (no gender described, can be platonic) Setting: Canon universe, canon divergent.  Warnings: None Status: One-shot, complete (1k words) Summary: After a strenuous and exhausting battle on Exegol, Ben returns to the resistance base on Ajan Kloss, where you watch as he struggles to make peace with himself.

Lifejacket (AO3 Link here)

Pairing: Modern!Ben Solo/Reader (no gender described) Setting: Modern AU Warnings: Detailed description of depression/emotional hurt. Pure fluff.  Status: One-shot, complete (766 words) Summary: Ben comforts you during a dark moment. 

[hawksugarbaby]

THINGS THAT FUCK ME UP ABOUT VARIOUS SOULMATE AU's

Seeing colour for the first time

Do you go back to black and white when they die

Or are the colours just desaturated and dead

Imagine finally seeing colour only to be colourblind

Aromantics who literally only see the world in black and white

Guessing what colours things are with your friend who already found theirs

Polyamorous sims who see a new colour with each partner

Red string of fate

Your string getting tangled with a bunch of other strings and theres a huge knot in the middle

Trying to go somewhere and getting tugged back because your s.o is going somewhere else and Vice Versa

Never forgetting stuff cause of the red "ribbon" on your finger.

Pulling your string when you want attention from a partner close to uou

Pulling your string in morse code

Polyamorous people having multiple strings

You feel the pain your soulmate feels

Having a S.O with really high pain tolerance and doesn't really understand how much it hurts until their S.O explains it

People who like getting tattoos and piercings and your S.O just feels pain randomly and plays like dot to dot trying to figure out what your getting

Military soulmate who gets severely injured and the first time you feel it you think your dying

TW// Self harm significant other who hits, burns or cuts themselves and you just feel guilty cause you feel their physical pain but not your mental

Soulmate who has chronic pain and your back just always hurts or your constantly getting migraines.

Hearing your soulmate singing in your head

Single mother soulmate who's constantly singing baby shark

Making songs to have a regular conversation

The louder it gets the closer you are

Your soulmate not even being a hood singer but its comforting hearing them

Mute people who never sing

Deaf people who never hear them sing

Writing on you appears on your soulmate

Just drawing dicks to make them laugh

Giving them test answers

Trying out pick up lines on their arm

Writing down notes on your arm so you don't forget and by the time you meet, your soulmate knows your regular groceries, starbucks order, your Mcdonalds order etc

Writing page numbers on your arm and when you forget your solmate reminds you

Artist soulmate drawing tattoo designs on you to get later and you have matching tattoos

First words they say to you are tattooed on

Straight up having "FUCK"

Having a really common phrase like "can I borrow a pen" but like literally 15 people can ask for a pen

Again being deaf and having no clue

Hearing your soulmate in a crowd and your desperately looking for the person who said "FUCK OFF JEREMY" but there's too many people

Vines. Just "an avocado... thanks!" On your arm forever

Your soulmate soeaks another language so you google translate whats on your arm and its essentially "cock sucker"

Also learning that language

Clock on your arm counting down

One day it starts counting up??

Aro's who's clocks never tick

Polyamorous people with multiple clocks, maybe a whole forearm sometimes

Breaking your clock by accident

When it hits 525600 minutes theatre nerds sing seasons of love enthusiastically

Getting 420 or 69 and going "heh, nice"

People finding out they're going to live really fucking long cause they have huge numbers on their clocks

Scars or where they first touch you

Having a handprint on your face cause you get slapped for something

For guys, being confused because theres a shape down their, only to realise its cause your gonna get kicked in the balls when your meat your soulmate

TW// Self harm having really light fingerprint touches on your selfharm scars because when they first touch you their comforting you about them

Having a scar on your foot, you become a chef, you accidentally get a knife dropped into your foot and you Don’t know if you should be furious or glad

Yeah soulmate Au's make me lose my mind

[limetameta]

i got a review on Retired Promtheus that was like: if there weren't any humor in this fic, nobody would be able to stomach the content.

and truer words have not been said! it is an incredibly heavy fic, detailing the trauma of tom marvolo riddle, generational trauma of the malfoy family, hermione's trauma surrounding her integration into magical society and what that meant for her parents and the muggle side of her life, dumbledore's trauma surrounding his sister and how his inability to move on from gellert grindelwald ultimately led to him projecting all of his trauma onto tom riddle, and then on top of that - POLITICS. Nobby Leach's terrible demise and subsequent beginning of the civil war. The implications a Muggleborn Minister for Magic winning and leading a country steeped in blood purism and in which way any integration of muggle holidays would lead to backlash from the purebloods who think that every push for cultural integration means cultural erasure for them.

This fic can get super heavy. I had to take major hiatuses between chapters because I was feeling the weight of them.

And then you have a chapter where Hogwarts kids make a play about world events and make fun of it how only teenagers can. You have moments of levity where I allow all of these characters to feel human with their own inside jokes and their own views on the world. This is a small, very tight knight group of people where everyone knows everyone's business. Having grown up in a similar environment I know exactly how to write it. There is gossip, there is a charming amount of despisal between these characters that only you can have for your own neighbour. Ugh, the prick.

I gave the fucking Dementors a hierarchy system. Jerry the Dementor (or is it Jerri, I forget I know there's a joke about it somewhere in those 420 000 words) likes to paint and doesn't want to suck out souls - oh the agony of this poor friend-shaped dementor!

And while you need to wade through the trauma of everyone involved, this is a fic about healing. There is a happy ending. That was something I set off to do from the beginning. I didn't know how to get to that happy ending or that this fic was going to grow to be so monstrously large, but without the humor i put into this fic, it wouldn't be what it is. It would be a chore to read. It would be depressing and that's not what fics are meant to be.

there have been numerous tragedies happen in my country in the span of the last 40 years (hell even for the past 500 years), my culture depends upon the ability to joke about these things otherwise we never would have moved on. if it's felt in my fics that i want to give the same dose of respect to tragedy by writing dark humor then i've done my job right. then it's a fic worth reading.

and humor can be so bad, can be turned upside down on its head so quickly. if done without the respect humor is due.

i think it's the reason why i love retired Prometheus so much. because the humor is so important for the tragedy of the lives of these characters and that were i to take the humor out, i would be left with just - some disgusting blob of darkness i'd need to poke with a stick until my arm fell off.

also i mean my sense of humor is rad as hell.

[caliconnected]

8 Ways to Celebrate 420

420 is back and better than ever!

After a long year of quarantines, lockdowns, and solo smoke seshes, just about everyone is ready to go out and celebrate. And with marijuana being more ubiquitous than ever before, this year’s cannabis “Christmas” will be one for the books!

While some of us have been partaking in 420 festivities for years, the holiday still remains an elusive and mysterious event for many. For any marijuana newbies, or for those of you who are just trying to have the optimal weed day, we compiled a list of some key 420 rituals that you should highly consider for this years celebration:

1. Pick up some pot on 4/20

In the past two months alone, recreational marijuana has been legalized in four states (New Jersey, New York, Virginia, and New Mexico). That brings the total to 17 states (plus Washington D.C.) that allow adults to consume cannabis, for fun!

Remember, just 10 years ago recreational pot was illegal in the entire United States. Now, Americans all over the country have ease-of-access to marijuana.

Check out your local dispensary this 420, and you will almost surely find that there is a 420 sale as well. Many cannabis retail stores run promotions for the entire week, usually offering the lowest marijuana prices you could possibly find anywhere (the streets included).

Is weed still not legalized in your state? Take a roadtrip!

For most of America, a weed legal state is now closeby. 420 is a perfect excuse to day trip somewhere and celebrate the legit (and legal) way.

The holiday sales at dispensaries and the judgement-free culture enable you to relax, smoke, and save a little moolah. What a delightful experience it could be this 4/20 to get stoned in a city where smoking pot is normal! And just remember, don’t drive under the influence. Grab an AirBnB and chill for the day!

2. Roll up a 420 masterpiece

Whether you’re a seasoned stoner or dipping your toes into the world of weed for the first time, rolling up some pot is a staple of the 420 holiday. There are a myriad of materials and techniques when it comes to rolling, the classic joint being the standard bearer.

From artistic cross-joints to fat tulip joints, the variations are seemingly endless, especially on 420. We recommend the always-satisfying, rarely canoeing Cone Joint. Check out our blog on rolling the perfect cone joint if you need some guidance!

Another cornerstone of weed rolling is the blunt, a versatile and nuanced way to bring some holiday cheer to your celebration. Traditionally rolled with cigars, these days the blunt’s possibilities are endless, with more resourceful options such as hemp wraps. Read our blog post about blunts if you’re not sure where to get started!

3. Create tasty 420 edibles

Marijuana and food are two peas in a pod. But you’ll probably be wanting to eat more than just peas once you get the munchies. Edibles are a fantastic and versatile way to enjoy your 420 holiday. Additionally, edibles are a COVID-safe option for celebrating 420 as there are no joints or pipes to share, and no gross mouths to worry about!

From the classic brownie to salad dressing, the possibilities are endless when it comes to making edibles. THC, the main chemical in marijuana, attaches to fat cells when heated; this makes a variety of oils ideal for carrying the cannabis experience into your belly.

We recommend making some cannabis coconut oil. As one of the fattiest oils, it is ideal for making cannabis oil and has a large capacity for holding THC. That means it can get very potent, plus it's versatile.

You can use THC-infused oils in baked goods or cook on your stovetop with it. For a simple and quick concoction, just spoon a few chunks of cannabis coconut oil into your morning coffee to start your holiday right!

4. Dabble in concentrates to intensify your 420

As far as strength and purity is concerned, cannabis concentrates are considered the bee’s knees. Concentrates are far more popular in Colorado and California than elsewhere, but more and more people are discovering the joys of smoking and vaping concentrated extracts such as shatter, budder, rosin, and live resin.

While “dabbing” with a torch and oil rig (a small water pipe) is considered the main technique for consuming concentrates, there are a variety of ways to enjoy these powerful forms of marijuana. For example, you can simply smear some concentrate on top of your cannabis flower in your pipe or in a joint if it’s your first time.

And then there are always vape pens, which are back and better than ever after a period of uncertainty. Harmful chemicals like vitamin E oil and heavy metals have been found in black market vape pens, however virtually all weed-legal states now have stringent testing requirements for these pens and pre-filled cartridges that ensure their quality and purity. It’s always good to keep a vape pen nearby in case someone is taking too long to roll a blunt!

Regardless of which method you choose, the 420 holiday is the perfect excuse to try concentrated extracts for the first time.

5. Put your 420 records on

That skunky scent that you smelled at your favorite artist’s concert is no coincidence. Marijuana has been found to dramatically enhance music, its effects leading to a more profound and enjoyable listening experience.

Live music is a fantastic idea, and should certainly be taken advantage of if there happens to be a concert on 4/20 in your area. Artists have been struggling with the lack of performance opportunities over the last year, and 420 is a great opportunity to get high and support your local musicians.

However, even a year after the pandemic started, live shows are a rarity. If you can’t find a concert on 4/20 to attend, there are plenty of options to get your music fix while getting stoned.

For one, you can listen to an album. In this fast paced world where instant-gratification is always within reach, we tend to listen to a smattering of songs instead of delving into artists and their full albums.

420 is a great opportunity to slow down, sit back, and appreciate a full album. Go out of your comfort zone and put on music that you might not usually listen to. A few puffs of cannabis can lend you newfound respect for a new genre or artist.

And marijuana doesn’t just enhance other people’s music; it can make you sound better. Have a karaoke session with friends and enjoy the musical superpowers of weed.

Not only will you shake the usual nerves that come along with singing in front of people, but your audience (who have hopefully been partaking in cannabis as well) will likely be more impressed by your skills!

6. Create a 420 Work of Art

You have likely heard of “Sip & Paint” nights where friend groups and Tinder dates go to drink wine, paint pictures, and create purple-lipped memories.

“Paint & Puff” is the 420 version, and is arguably the superior experience. Just as weed can strengthen your musical experiences, so can it upgrade your artistic capabilities.

Grab some acrylic paints, brushes, and canvasses, roll up a few joints and throw on a YouTube painting tutorial to watch with your 420 friends and family!

There is no question that your 420 celebration will be greatly enhanced by including arts and crafts, whether it be a Paint & Puff activity or simply going to the craft store and grabbing some adult coloring books. Get creative and use the 420 holiday to unleash your inner artist!

7. Stream your perfect 420 movie

Cannabis is all about relaxing and viewing the world from a different perspective. That’s why watching a movie is an ultimate 420 activity.

And while movie theaters are opening up again, streaming a weed-friendly film is a great way to be in a comfortable environment and stay entertained.

Here are some great movies that are perfect for the 4/20 holiday. Some are marijuana-centric, others are known for their weed-enthusiast fans.

Dazed and Confused

Pineapple Express

The Big Lebowski

Bad Trip

Friday

Spirited Away

Pulp Fiction

Across the Universe

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

8. Celebrate 420 in the great outdoors

April showers bring May Flowers, but if you ask us, April (20th) flowers are far more preferable. Marveling at nature’s beauty while consuming marijuana is the perfect recipe for easing your mind and body.

Why stay inside and fill your home with marijuana smoke? Smoke that bowl outside, on an outdoor adventure with friends.

Ideal 420 outdoor activities include a hike, outdoor yoga, and camping. Just make sure that you are being cautious if you’re bringing some pot with you outdoors, especially in places where marijuana might be considered inappropriate!

Wrapping it up

Finding unique ways to integrate cannabis into your daily routine, exploring new experiences outside your comfort zone, and just having fun is what the 420 holiday is all about.

No matter how you choose to celebrate 420 this year, be sure to set some time aside to visit CaliConnected and snag some new equipment with some of our best deals of the year!

[floral-on-main]

Back To My Roots

Lydia's blonde roots begin to show and of course Beetlejuice, the Ghost With The Most, jumps to conclusions. It's not his fault he actually kind of cares for this little asshole now. (Not ship!)

Also on ao3

Words:1621

Lydia being naturally blonde was a basic and unsurprising fact of life. Her dying her hair was also unsurprising. What better way for a girl in emotional turmoil to show just how shitty she was feeling than pitch black hair? Not to mention it fit her goth aesthetic much more than platinum blonde hair. This train of though was spurned on by her reflection starring back at her from the vanity mirror.

The golden roots seemed to mock Lydia with how they stood out against the black. With everything that had been happening she had no chance to touch up her roots. There wasn't a single box of dye in the house, not after Dad and Delia decided to go gray together. Yuck. With a little pleading, she might be able to get Delia to grab her a box of black dye.

With a heavy sigh Lydia flopped onto her bed and draped her left arm over her eyes. Even if no one was there she was going to stay true to her dramatic self.

Beetlejuice floated down the halls of the Deetz-Maitland household, semi-moist canvas clutched tightly to his chest. Delia had been trying to get him to 'paint his feelings'. Yuck. He mostly just used it as time to be a nuisance of hang out with the Maitlands, those nerds knew a lot about painting. It was hobby 69-something for Adam and 420-or-whatever for Barbra. For once he had actually sat down and painted a sandworm, which looked a lot more like a stripped sock than a sandworm.

Without knocking he phased through to door to Lydia's bedroom. He held back a snort as he saw Lydia being her normal dramatic self. They were best friends for a reason. A reason that didn't have to do with demon summoning and abandonment issues.

“How's it going, gremlin? Did Debra sit you down for a 'girls' talk' again?” He proudly held his painting out in front of him, ready for when Lydia turned to look. She was going to be blown away and super impressed.

With a groan Lydia sat up and let her arm fall lip at her side. “Nah, just teenage stuff and angst. You know how it is.” Her eyes locked onto the smudged painting of what looked like a pinstripe eel cracking open an egg with its mouth. Looks like Beej was getting in abstract art like Delia wanted. “What's that?”

Just as he was about to launch into his totally impromptu speech he noticed something pale in Lydia's sea of dark hair. He floated closer to get a better look. Beetlejuice was getting better about personal space, but it still wasn't one of his strong suits.

It was when he was hovering directly over her that he noticed a golden split in the hair right in the middle of her head. He may not understand breathers completely, but this couldn't have been normal. But it was nothing to worry about. It was probably normal and she was fine.

Who was he kidding? Something must of happened during her trip to the Netherworld and now her head was gonna spilt in half! Breather's hair didn't just change colors like that. Did she catch some supernatural malady?  If she died of broken head or half mind or whatever he would be there for her. Now, how was he going to break the news to her? Just the though of loosing his best buddy for eternity had blue bleed into his hair from the roots to the tips.

“Earth to Beetlejuice. You still in there, dummy?” Lydia waved her hand in front of his face. It wasn't uncommon for him to disappear into his own mental world, but this was concerning her. Somewhere in his train of thought the painting slipped from his fingers and fell to the shaggy carpet below. She had learned loosely what each color of Beej's hair meant and knew blue was bad news— or more accurately, sad news. As a last resort she tapped his shoulder. Physical contact usually brought him back to the world of the living.

“I'm so sorry, Lyds! I promise I'll be the best Guide ever when you bite it. And when we get to the Netherworld I'll rip apart whoever or whatever did this to you!” As he rambled his hair turned fully blue and tears threatened to fall.

“What the fu-” Her sentence was cut off by the near crushing hug the demon was giving her. Several tears made tracks through the light layer of dirt on his face. She thumped his side roughly with a closed fist. Once he loosed up a bit she took in a large, theatrical breath.

“What the hell are you talking about? I'm just dying at the normal rate.”

Beetlejuice pulled away briefly to blow his nose on his tie. He leaned back in to tighten the hug, but Lydia screamed bloody murder and managed to push him off. “If you even think about touching me with that petri dish of a tie I'll stab you again.”

“You can stab me as much as you want if it'll make you feel better.” He seemed completely unphased by her protests and just floated at the edge of her bed. Something clearly had Beej pretty worked up, and Lydia was going to get to the bottom of it. At some point the painting had been kicked under the bed, where it then lay forgotten and uncared for— never to be heard of or referenced again.

“Just take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong. Why do you think I'm gonna die now?”

He did as he was told and did his best to appear composed. This composure did nothing for the deep blue staining his hair.  “ I don't know how you haven't noticed, but there's a giant fucking split in your head. Isn't that painful? You were cursing up a storm after you stubbed your toe, but your fine with this? Wait, you need to cough. We need to see if your lungs have started to corrode yet.” Beetlejuice's voice raised a couple octaves as worry once again gripped his unbeating heart.

“Split in my head?” Lydia said the words slowly, as if they were some foreign demonic language. Then the answer hit her like a tombstone to the head. “Beej, look at me and listen carefully.”

With watery eyes he watched her as if this was the last time he would see her alive.

Lydia cleared her throat. “Listen, I'm dying, but at the rate most breathers do. Probably.” That dark thought was quickly pushed from her mind. “My hair isn't naturally black, it's blonde. I dye my hair this color and now the color is fading. It's totally normal and doesn't hurt. Just ask Dad if you don't believe me.”

A painfully silent moment passed between the two. In that moment, the blue faded to be replaced by the normal healthy green hue. The first to break the silence was the flustered demon.

“Pssh, I knew that. Did you really think I would get that worked up over you? It was just a prank and you fell for it hook, line, and sinker!” Beetlejuice was a master at lying, but even that sounded hollow to his ears. He nonchalantly waved his hand as if to dispel any doubts.

Lydia rolled her eyes and smirked. In her most sarcastic voice she said, “You got me, BJ. For a minute I totally believed your heart had grown to sizes and you cared for me.”

“Shut up, you gremlin. Are you doing to 'dye your hair' again?” The air quotes were unnecessary, but totally Beej.

“Of course. If I show up blonde Claire would tear into me without remorse. Probably claim I was trying to steal her styles. She needs to wake up and realize that not everything is about her.” Beetlejuice nodded sympathetically as if he knew the intricacies of teenage girl drama.

“Yeah, you really gotta dye it. I can't have you stealing my style. Color changing hair is practically my trademark. And let me tell you, Netherworld lawyers are ruthless.”

“Get me some dye and then we'll talk about me 'stealing your style', Beej.”

Beetlejuice was already mentally planning how to steal enough dye to keep Lydia sated, but not enough to get caught by either Charles or the Maitlands. He already had to sleep on the couch once this week and he wasn't looking for a repeat. If he was sneaky enough he might be able to even get some for himself. Would it even stick? Eh, he would just find out later.

“Now that we got that crisis out of the way, want to go collect spiders out back? Pretty sure I saw a brown recluse the other day.”

“There is nothing more I would rather do except the Maitlands.”

Lydia grimaced before responding. “I know.”

Lydia grabbed an old mason jar from her dresser and her polaroid from where it was hanging on the vanity. She was all ready to go. She looked over to Beej, who spat in his hands and used it to ineffectively slick back his hair. He caught her looking and gave a thumbs up. “Ready to go when you are.”

The two buddies then raced down the stairs— to Delia's surprise— to get to the backyard. They heard the sound of something heavy falling to the ground, but managed to miss Delia yelling at them to slow down. Turns out there wasn't a brown recluse in the garden, but Beetlejuice managed to conjure up a terrifying replacement. Once Charles got home they were both going to be on web clean up duty though.

[handeaux]

Remember When Cincinnati Made Celebrities Of Its Fat Men?

Time was, Cincinnati loved our fat men. These days, you put on a few pounds and everybody bombards you with unsolicited advice about exercise and your diet, but it used to be that fat men had real respect in this town.

Cincinnati is the home of William Howard Taft, among our favorite sons. “Big Bill” was a chunky lad but, despite the legend about him getting stuck in the White House bath tub, it is unlikely he ever weighed more than 340 pounds.

Now, Henry Rave – there was a big boy! It made front page news in 1894 when Henry Rave, of Westwood Avenue, died. Rave was so corpulent that he had been unable to sleep in a bed for close to a year, but was otherwise in moderately good health, according to the Cincinnati Post [23 February 1894]:

“Rave died on Wednesday of fattening of the heart. He was weighed the day before and the scale registered 460 pounds. He had not been ill until an hour before his death, dissolution being very sudden.”

Rave’s coffin had to be custom made, and it took nine pallbearers to carry him to his eternal rest.

Visiting fat men got equal ink. When Joseph Wilbur Grimes came to Cincinnati on a visit to his brother, the newspapers spread the word. Grimes, allegedly 550 pounds in heft, made a living as a bicycle salesman and rode his own wheel around his hometown of Cleveland. According to the Post [12 September 1898]:

“His physical condition is so fine that he is offered insurance policies at the same figures as the average man. His strength is abnormally great. He can lift a baby grand piano without assistance and is so active and well trained physically that he can step on a street car when it is going medium speed.”

So fascinated was the public by feats of avoirdupois that the owners of the Cincinnati Post launched a nationwide hunt for America’s fattest man in 1914. The winner was promised a gold medal and, should the winner be located somewhere outside the Queen City, a bronze medal would assuage the feelings of the heftiest man in Cincinnati.

Reports of this contest filled the newspaper from late spring well into summer. (Cynics among our readers will recognize that this was the annual journalistic period known as the “Silly Season.”) It quickly became apparent that Cincinnati was not even in the running for the gold medal. No one in our fair city managed to top 400 pounds, while competitors on the east coast and the vaudeville circuit inched ever nearer to an officially certified 700 pounds. (Where was Henry Rave when we needed him?)

Harry Shuey, a cigar maker, took an early lead in Cincinnati, although he only weighed 316 pounds. His friends pushed him into the contest on the strength of his regular victories in the fat-man races at Chester Park. He claimed the hot summer had taken the edge off his appetite and that he normally weighed 345.

Shuey sank into the pack, however, when George Oberhelman waddled it. Oberhelman, a wagon driver, took a while to visit the official scale because his rheumatism had been acting up. His friends were disappointed when his legal weight came in at 388; they were sure he’d top 390. According to the Post [25 June 1914]:

“Recently, Oberhelman fell down stairs. He bumped down 16 steps and stopped at the bottom with ‘a dull, sickening thud.’ Six men picked him up and hoisted him, by means of a derrick, into a second-story window. Lifting 800-pound cattle is one of his accomplishments, and stopping work hasn’t dulled his appetite. With the exception of handkerchiefs, all his clothes are made to order.”

Oberhelman faded when a dark horse, saloonist Anthony Hueninghake roared into contention. Still unable to crack the 400 mark, Hueninghake managed to win the bronze in Cincinnati with a certified 399 ½ pounds. The national gold medal went to “Happy” Jack Eckart of Alexandria, Louisiana, who grabbed the title with all of his 739 pound immensity.

When Jack Dempsey challenged Jess Willard for the world heavyweight boxing title in 1919, tickets were impossible to find. The Cincinnati Post, rather than award a few to the fattest men in town, split the ducats among a variety of measurements – mostly displayed by fat men – such as heaviest man, largest neck, largest calf and largest chest, but also tallest man, longest reach, etc. Anthony Hueninghake won a pair of tickets based on his neck measurements, but the heaviest man in 1919 was 419-pound Joseph Denning of Mount Healthy

When Ed Houser of Elmwood Place made the news in 1922, it had as much to do with his automobile as with his weight but, at 420 pounds, Ed was no slouch in the scale-busting department. Ed was an automobile salesman. He sold Fords and made a good advertisement for their durability. Although his Ford runabout was customized to allow him to reach over his substantial girth to grab the steering wheel and had reinforcing rods welded to the chassis, it had never broken down in five years of averaging 150 miles each day. Ed had no plans to lose weight. He told the Post [26 October 1922]:

“What’s the use? You only make yourself miserable. If I lost 20 pounds, what difference would it make? I would still weigh 400 pounds. I will begin to worry when I start losing weight. I try to stay fat and happy.”