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#its been a whole year my bad yall
keckleoid-cotl · 5 months
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cavity-collector · 1 month
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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was tagged by @mooshkat (thank you friend!!) to list 8 tv shows for my followers to get to know me better!
for someone who repeatedly watches the same shows over and over and hyperfixates on certain fandoms, you’d think this would be easy for me but …. it’s not 😂
1. 9-1-1 2. 9-1-1: Lone Star 3. Young Royals 4. The Mentalist (Patrick Jane my beloved...) 5. Broad City 6. The Good Place 7. Black Mirror 8. Disjointed
I will always be re-watching at least one of these, if not multiple (right now, it's Broad City and 9-1-1 hehe)
anyway, since I just watch the same shows over and over again, I'm excited to see what everyone else watches! @wheelsupin-five (I tried tagging two-cut-lines at first lmao) @paqerings @lilbuddie @the-likesofus @shortsighted-owl @poughkeepsies @alyxmastershipper @leslieknopeinthepit
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mbat · 1 year
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wait so why are so many people obsessed with shit-talking rwby, at least that ive seen around
like its not the best show ever but its still a good show? it didnt kick your dog, man
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bloodyke · 11 months
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next person to bring up project 2025 to fearmonger support for genocide joe is getting blown up i cannot stand you bitches
#zenith.txt#yall know NOTHING#you only have 1 talking point and its never worked#if you want people to vote you need to give them something to vote FOR not something to vote against or else all arguments are meaningless#second of all who the fuck do you think is currently laying the groundwork for project 2025? its literally biden#all the shit you fear is gonna happen is ALREADY STARTED UNDER HIS PRESIDENCY#third of all you all sound like fucking GHOULS when you say 'yeah genocide is bad but if we dont vote itll inconvenience ME this time'#what the fuck is wrong with you#joe biden will not get a second term that is a fact and it will be his own fault#if you guys ACTUALLY cared about these issues you would be mobilizing in your communities instead of yelling vote blue no matter who#its the fact that weve known about project 2025 for a whole year now but yall are only just now bringing it up bc people#are criticing biden more than ever and it scares you that your precious status quo is being challenged#legitimately fuck all of you trying to weaponize the fears of marginalized communities#the privilege in saying that under repubs things will get worse...#itll get worse FOR YOU. all of the things you worry about finally affecting YOU are literally already fucking happening#to black and brown (particularly black and brown disabled people) for DECADES#and im saying this from a place of privilege being white myself#yes i am a gay disabled puerto rican but i am white first and have been able to for the most part avoid a lot of the shit that has been#KILLING my family and the people in my communities#all of the things youve been saying will happen in project 2025 are things i have already fucking watched happen to the people around me#the only difference between now and this hypothetical project 2025 is now it will effect white people too#and thats the only reason yall even fucking care about it because now YOUR life is going to terrible and YOU cannot ignore it anymore#everything you criticized trump for biden and his team also does.#yall are so fucking pathetic wringing your hands and spouting the lie of electoralism but you refuse to do anything#that could enact meaningful change beacuse the point is you guys dont actually want change#the only thing yall want is to have people stop talking about all of this so you can continue to walk around with your head down#and not be inconvenience in your daily life bc you actually enjoy the status quo#saying you have to vote for the wolf in sheeps clothing over the wolf is not fucking better they are the exact same thing#and its time yall opened your fucking eyes to the world around you#'i domt support genocide but-' THERE IS NO BUT HERE.
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myownprivatcidaho · 2 years
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thoseve yall who were here a year ago might remember that a year ago He was liking tweets like "idk how people can cheat when im in love im obsessed😍" and "the honeymoon stage rlly doesnt die if youre with the right person🥰" and he was liking stuff like that up till recently now shit like this is in his likes something is BROKEN in him
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#i feel bad. i dont even mean it in a conceited way but i cant help but feel like a bit of this is my fault#hes so bright eyed and ambitious that the idea of him losing any of that idealism is nothing short of a goddamned tragedy im sorry#yes this is the guy who lead me on (unintentionally???) and flirted with me for a year despite seeing TWO people during that time#the latter of which became his girlfriend (who i told Everything to ...)#and like. he never apologized he never explained what was going on or why he acted like a fucking simp for a year#but basically we're not talking now and we're on bad terms and angry at each other#(me because. well yall were there for that . hes angry because i ratted his flirty ass out )#god that all stings so bad i havent talked about the details of what happened to anyone......#but yeah i just. even still after all this time i hope he stays bright eyed. the idea that he wouldnt is heartbreaking in and of itself.#that one crush situation lol#idk if theyre still together. it was early novembet i reached out to his gf and laid the whole thing out for her#& she said theyd 'take it from here' (??????) and was uncomfortable with me and him communicating with the knowledge that THAT ALL happened#even while they were together. i told her i could respect that (even though i wanted to ask her who the FUCK she thought she was. anyways)#and then i reached out to him one last time to clarify i wasnt dredging it up for retaliation or to break them up but bc she genuinely#deserved to know. then he sorta said fuck my feelings and then reiterated what his gf said that we shouldnt be talking anymore#its been radio silence since then from bothve them. if they did break up id feel bad (cause how COULDNT i?) but if they didnt.#that means the only factor that changed here was. well. his 'relationship'/chances of a relationship/flirtationship/friendship with me.#i dunno. im not gonna act like i have all the facts and im not gonna act like he hasnt screwed me over#but getting back to my main point. imagine knowing him and watching him lose his idealism. try not being heartbroken over that.
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princessmyriad · 2 days
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.
#personal#does anyone else feel like its a little bit#6 years without uploading they come back with some ads#cant make unsponsored vids its bout getting that bag#is this just me? i support making bank however one can in this world but it does feel like#like its just a lot yknow? like the frequency of any genuine video made for passion instead of money#they just seem few and far between. im sure theres a dragon contract or something but im so fucking sick of hearing about flamesusan tbh#hm whatever consider this my overstimulated need to have a pissed off rant about something today but it feels weird#the channel feels weird 😕 i still very much admire and respect the boys and i support them supporting their lifestyle#idk how to explain it just feels like theres a looot of ads and very little genuine enjoyment from creating lately like the last#idk 7 or 8 months ive noticed it but maybe its always been like this. or maybe its been like this since the revival idfk im so tired dudes#im so fucking sick to death of living in an internet world and not being able to go even 10 minutes without an ad#or a double ad or an ad right before a sponsor segment or just fucking. its just fucking EVRYWHERE I WANT TO BURN EARTH DOWN AND START AGAIN#nuke it the second anyone invents ads again and keep restarting until we eliminate themmmmmm FUCK#like i just want the comfort content of their voices and personalities but its continuously interrupted#and their personalities dont seem to hold the same level of compassion or passion these days#and surely these things must be related. like the internet will miss yall if you left but its okay to stop youtube. its okay to find#literally any other job if being payed to pretend to care about a pixel dragon and finding any uncreative excuse to make a video#just for the sole purpose of going around your advertisement (so you can claim youre making content and give them a reason to keep sponsorin#if that aint it for you chief then do literally anything else with your time. find employment elsewhere#i know a lot of the tubers and esp the ones that have been doing it for so long think they mighnt be able to get or do any other job#but i promise this just isnt true!#make from the heart again! now that youre not being straight you should have the most freedom to create from the heart!#but theyre not! it feels more repressed and in the closet than the actual time they were in the closet! (or though they were we been knew)#but it feels! so uncomfortable! so unnatural! the videos theyve been making lately feel like theyre aliens hiding in skinsuits#desperately trying to make video advertisements about products their top researchers have assured them that humans like!#but they cant make a whole video of just ad because humans dont like that so put some other crap in there. just enough#to make the stupid humans THINK theyre not just watching an ad. content? no doesnt matter just do some garbage for a few mins#humans are idiots theyll watch anything just try not to look so uncomfortable in your human suits so it seems natural#but it doesnt feel natural. it feels gross and fake and bad. and worse because they are. or rather were. comfort content for me
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tabbytiger · 6 months
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tw: suicide ment
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On Day 4 of my No Napping streak 😊
#yall dont understand how bad my napping problem was#and im not even joking. for the last dour years i can count on two hands the amount of days i didnt nap#literally most of the last four years has been sleeping#but recently i got burnt out and slept for two days straight with like. two breaks to take care of my dog#(i have a sibling who also cares for the dog i havent been neglecting him)#and that whole mess reset my sleep schedule (i slipped into sleeping during the day and staying awake all night for a couple weeks)#and made it so i dont have to nap i guess because i haven't needed to#its been super weird. i have so much more time now and its hard to fill it#one day i went to the coffee shop and walgreens and the coinstar machine. and did laundry and other tidying#yesterday and today ive cooked whole meals. yesterday it was tortellini and broccoli and garlic bread#like idk how to explain it but thats so out of character for me#literally every day of my life for the last four years has been wake up. to go to work. stay up all night maybe. sleep until work#but now im... getting better i think? it seems better#i have an hour before i have to get ready for work (going in early because theres a bar crawl today and the other concierge wants help)#so im debating between playing on my phone in bed and enjoying the fresh air and sunlight coming from my window#or doing some cleaning and packing. i kind of want to do this because yesterday i had a nightmare that it was moving day and i wasnt ready#it was terrifying. so yeah ill probs get in some cleaning#wish me luck tonight! its saturday (busiest day of the week) and a bar crawl (the literal worst)
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investingestincest · 1 year
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at what level of "get another fucking computer" is it exactly when you start shushing and talking to your computer whenever you try to open a tab online
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pagesofkenna · 2 years
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Saw someone talking about past vs present tense and I started looking at the fanfic I've written and liked, and I'm realizing that I tend to default to past tense for pieces that really dive into and develop a single moment in time, and I default to present tense for pieces that cover a character over lengthy period of time
idk if this is good or bad, I just default to whichever tense feels more natural for the story, but it seems really counterintuitive! shouldn't 'series of events' stories be past tense, and 'one big important moment' stories be present??
past tense: Blunted like a Practice Sword (one single moment in time hyperanalyzed, little time jump around the end), Hemophobia (an hour or so) Waking Dream (twenty minutes or so, interspersed with memories and flashbacks), Nobody Alive Can Do This (a single scene, maybe ten minutes)
present tense: Metal Flowers (various scenes over about a week, one mid-week flashback in past perfect), Eyes in the Sky (an hour or so recounted in present tense, interspersed with memories and flashbacks in past tense), Besties for Life (various scenes from age 7 to 25ish?), Enlightenment (introspection over the course of a summer)
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cherryobx · 3 months
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Illicit affairs
a/n: last fic of my 2.4k picnic! thank u all for requesting and participating! i love yall! also, this song is so Rafe fr
pairing: Rafe Cameron x pogue!reader
summary: you're tired of keeping your relationship a secret
warnings: rafe is a simp but also so stupid, language, like one sexual innuendo i think, mentions of alcohol, drugs and doing them (idk if i missed anything but if i did pls let me know)
wc: 4.3k
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Even though it wasn’t technically wrong in any way, it seemed that way. People in Kildare had been separated into two for so long that it made it almost sinful or illegal in a sense for a pogue and a kook to be together. But you loved him. You loved Rafe.
You met him at Midsummers. Sarah begged you to go with her because she didn’t want to go alone and converse with all the snotty kooks there, even though she herself was a part of that society unfortunately. She just needed someone there for her so she could make this evening a bit less insufferable.
“It doesn’t seem so bad, to be honest,” you said looking around yourself and the people there who were dressed in all kinds of fancy outfits. You yourself included.
Sarah offered to buy you a dress. You denied her offer at first but after rummaging through your own closet you finally said yes to her. You didn’t have anything to wear to an event like that. You also didn’t want people to make fun of you or notice immediately that you definitely didn’t belong there.
Sarah was happy to help you out and go shopping together. It took you a whole day to find something you not only liked but felt confident in. You also kept your eye on the price tags and made sure to not pick anything super expensive because you were planning on paying her back. Even though she insisted that it was a gift and she didn’t want your money.
“Trust me. It will get worse as people drink. They start getting chatty and ask too many questions that I don’t wanna answer.” She scoffed and took a sip of her champagne flute.
“Like what?” you asked curiously.
“Every year they’re like ‘are you seeing anyone’, ‘what college are you going to’, ‘planning on getting married’ or stuff like that. Like let me live. It’s none of their business. One time this older lady kept telling me I needed to lose weight. Like what? It’s insane.”
Your eyes are wide in slight shock. “Yeah, they never know when to shut up, do they?” 
“No, they do not.”
And then your eyes met his. He was standing across the room with a bunch of his friends. Rafe tilted his head as he looked at you curiously. You felt almost exposed under his gaze. There was a small smirk on his face as he raised his glass, saluting you, before downing its contents with one gulp. 
You were sure he knew you weren’t a kook. He saw right through you. But you didn’t find it in you to care. 
You mimicked his actions and the smirk on his face grew into a smile.
You kept stealing glances at each other throughout the night and once Sarah was pulled away by some of her acquaintances, Rafe made his move
He was standing at your side in a second. “You lost?”
“Why would I be lost?” you asked, turning your head so you could look up at him.
“Because you don’t belong here, sweetheart.” 
Your heart rate picked up at the pet name he used, making you nervous. He was so attractive, although you didn’t want to admit it to yourself. He looked really good in his suit. He wasn’t wearing a tie and the first couple buttons of his shirt were undone.
“That obvious?” You chuckled and took a sip of your champagne.
“Surprisingly not really. But I’ve seen you running around with your pogue friends so I know you’re not a kook.”
“That I am not. But I’m a friend of Sarah’s. She invited me here so please don’t rat me out,” you pleaded.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, pretty girl. See you around.” He left as suddenly as he arrived, leaving you standing there with a dumbfounded look on your face and a stomach full of butterflies. 
Pretty girl.
Somehow, through many coincidences, you and Rafe kept seeing each other around more often. At Tannyhill when you were visiting Sarah, at your work, on the street. It wasn’t like you hadn’t seen him around before but it was weird how you seemed to run into him much more after the Midsummer incident.
Your relationship with Rafe took off after one night at Tannyhill when you couldn’t sleep so you wandered around the house and ran into Rafe in the kitchen who was getting a late night snack.
“Well look who it is?” He smirked. “Isn’t that my favorite pogue?”
“Am I not the only pogue you’re not absolutely disgusted by?” You asked and hopped onto the kitchen island, sitting there and dangling your legs.
Rafe took in your appearance. You were wearing shorts and a large hoodie. You looked really cozy. He almost wanted to tuck you to bed and give you a goodnight kiss, which he realized was an absolute crazy thought to have.
“Hence why you’re my favorite.” He stood next to you, booped your nose, and leaned against the counter, facing you. 
“Want one?” He held out a small bowl full of strawberries that he had previously washed and removed the tops from.
“Sure. Thanks.” You looked at him for a second before taking one from the bowl and popping it into your mouth. It seemed insane to be on speaking terms with the Rafe Cameron who was known for being an asshole to pogues.
Another thought you had, which you also thought was an insane one, was that he was beautiful. He had always been extremely handsome but in that moment, in the moonlight, he was breathtaking.
“You’re thinking really loud,” he commented after catching you staring at him with a disconnected look in your eyes.
You’re shaken from your trance and your eyes meet his. “What?”
“I said you’re thinking loud, kid.” 
Again with the nicknames. You were pretty certain he knew what he was doing.
“Oh umm…” you started but then he scooted closer to you and all thoughts vanished from your head.
And he noticed. Of course he noticed. Rafe was not stupid. He knew what kind of effect he had on girls. But he liked your reactions especially. He found himself liking you, actually. He never thought he’d like a pogue, that he’d not be repulsed by one. But with you it seemed to be the opposite. He was drawn to you.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” he asks. He pushed himself off the counter, putting down his bowl of strawberries, and forced himself between your legs. You instinctively made more room for him, accommodating his large frame in your space.
“Nothing much.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Really? You were so deep in thought just a second ago.”
He places his hands on your bare thighs, feeling your warm skin under his palms. You looked down and saw how big his hands were and swallowed thickly.
“It’s nothing.”
“Don’t be coy. Share with the class.”
You laughed. “What class, Rafe?” 
He smiled. “Come on, baby. Don’t be shy. I shared my strawberries with you.”
“A strawberry for my thoughts?”
His smile widened, revealing his perfect teeth. “Exactly.”
“What do you wanna know?” You raise an eyebrow at him in question.
He shrugs. “Just what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking that the moonlight is very pretty.” It was not completely a lie but also not the full truth. And Rafe knew that.
He squeezed your thighs with his hands. “What else?”
“That you’re really close to me.” He leaned even closer at that. He was so close your noses were almost touching. His eyes darted to your lips for a second before he looked back up at your eyes.
“Are you bothered by that?”
“No.”
“Anything else on your mind?” You couldn’t help but look down at his lips too. It was just a second but Rafe caught that. Of course he did.
“No.”
“No?”
“No,” you confirmed, obviously not being honest. There were about a million scenarios in your head at that moment and all of them included Rafe’s lips on yours and his tongue in your mouth.
“Fucking liar.”
“I’m not lying,” you tried to deny it but he saw right through you.
“You’re not lying?”
You shook your head.
“Is that so?” 
You nodded. Rafe smiled and leaned in. Your lips were just about to touch.”Why are you lying to me?”
You open your mouth to once again deny his claims but he interrupted you even before you could begin. “Be honest, baby.”
Baby.
“I’m thinking about your lips.” You were almost shocked at your own words, they just slipped out. 
“My lips? What about them?” He knew exactly what you meant but found joy in teasing the living hell out of you.
“They look so kissable.” You were wondering if you were drunk because you’d never say stuff like that to him of all people in the daylight.
“Then you should probably find out if they are as kissable as they look.”
You blinked at him. “Why are you acting like this?”
He looked confused as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Like what?”
“You’re flirting with me. And touching me.”
“So? Can’t I? Say the word and I’ll back off.”
“No, it’s just that I’m a pogue. Don’t you like want to light me on fire and stuff?”
His forehead fell to your shoulder as he chuckled. “Light you on fire? You’re funny, kid.”
Kid.
“Don’t you?”
He raised his head and looked you in the eyes again. “I would like to do many things to you but lighting you on fire is not one of them.”
“Then why are you flirting with me?”
“Is it that crazy that I actually like you? That I’m attracted to you?”
“Kind of,” you admit. 
“Why?”
“Because you’re a kook? Because you’re insanely hot and I can’t imagine you wanting anything to do with me?”
“You think I’m hot?”
You rolled your eyes. “Don’t let it get to your head. Your ego is big enough as it is.”
“You know what else is big?” He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked knowingly.
You gave him a gentle shove but laughed nonetheless. “Shut up.”
He laughed alongside you and it felt good. It was fun. He was fun. You never thought you could use that word to describe Rafe but that’s how it felt.
When your laughter died down he got this look in his eyes that could only be described as ‘hungry’. He wanted something, craved something.
Automatically you angled your body towards his. It was like something was pulling you. A magnet of sorts, perhaps.
Once again you found yourself close. You were too close for a pogue and a kook anyway but too close for two random people as well.
His eyes met yours in a plea. And you took the leap, leaning in and connecting your lips. He didn’t waste a second to kiss you back. It was slow and almost sweet at first, experimental. But then it got heated. Hands everywhere.
You didn’t find it in yourself to care about the consequences or future in that moment. You didn’t care that it was socially not acceptable for you to be making out with a kook. You just didn’t care. You just wanted to kiss him.
After that night, these meetings started happening intentionally. Sometimes Rafe sneaked into your house, other times you snuck into his. You found each other at every party, every event. It became serious. But both of you knew that this was meant to be a secret. This relationship was only for you two, no one else.
“Make sure no one sees you, okay?” You stood on your front porch, Rafe in front of you who was about to leave. He had spent the night but had to leave before your parents woke up. They’d kill you if they knew you were dating a kook, Rafe Cameron at that. The sun was starting to rise and the birds were chirping. It was a beautiful morning.
You grabbed the hood of his hoodie and pulled it up to cover him up as much as possible. You didn’t want to risk anything.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ll take the other route, no one really uses it.” He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. “Bye, baby.”
“Bye.” You waved him off and watched him drive away.
Soon, your friends started suspecting that something was going on. They saw how happy and glowing you looked, tremendously more than you usually were, but couldn’t figure out for the life of them what or who exactly it was.
“What’s got you in such a good mood lately?” Kie asked one day when all of you were sitting in John B’s backyard, you, Kie, and Sarah in the hammock and the guys in lawn chairs.
You shrugged “It’s summer.”
“Bullshit,” JJ scoffed.
“Bullshit?” Did they really see right through you?
“Yeah. I’ve never seen you like this,” he commented, narrowing his eyes at you like he was trying to see into your brain and what was going on in there.
“Like what?”
They all looked at each other, speaking only with their eyes. That meant that they had discussed this topic previously and were hesitant to bring up their suspicions.
“You seem…in love,” Sarah said. It was actually kind of ironic how she was the one who spoke up. If she only knew it was her own brother who you were seeing.
“In love? What?” You tried to play it off by acting confused. “I'm as single as ever.”
Pope rolled his eyes at you. “Yeah right. You know you’re a horrible liar right?”
“Shut up.”
“We’re going to find out eventually who this mystery lover is. It’s either you tell us or we’ll do some investigating.”
You suddenly became nervous. “Just drop it guys. Okay?”
They raised their hands in surrender but exchanged quick looks with each other which told you that the topic wasn’t as much as dropped as it was postponed.
Later that night you snuck off to see Rafe. You excused yourself and lied that you were tired and your head was hurting. They didn’t seem convinced but didn’t start prying either. You made sure you weren’t followed when you biked to Tannyhill. 
Sneaking into his house wasn’t very hard. The place is huge, so many doors to enter through without being seen.
He met you at the staircase and dragged you to his room.
“They suspect that I’m seeing someone.” You were laying between Rafe’s big arms in his bed under the covers, all cozy and warm. Your back was against his chest, his body curled around yours. It made you feel very safe,
“Who?”
“My friends, your sister.”
“Wheezie?”
“No, Sarah, you idiot.” He laughed and then placed a kiss on your shoulder, the action making you feel all giddy inside.
“They won’t find out. They’re stupid.”
“Hey!” You furrowed your brows. “Don’t call them that.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m a part of that group. By calling them stupid, you’re calling me stupid.”
“Who said you aren’t stupid?” You just knew he was smirking.
“Asshole.”
“You love me.”
“Are you sure about that?” You turned around in his arms and looked at him, a smirk on your face.
“Yes.” He said confidently, placing a soft kiss on your nose before pressing one to your lips. You closed your eyes in bliss, relishing in the feeling.
Weeks turned into months and so far into your relationship you had managed to hide it and be with him undetected. Your friends tried to do some detective work but unsuccessfully so.
“Aren’t you tired?” Sarah asked one night when you were sitting in John B’s backyard once again, just chilling and spending time with each other.
“Of what?”
“Of hiding your relationship.”
There was a beat of silence. You thought about what she said. And she was right. You were kind of tired, obviously not of Rafe but all the sneaking around and almost never seeing each other in the daylight. You love being with him and love spending time with him but sometimes you actually wanted to be out in public with him. To go on dates or the beach together or whatever normal couples did.
And you wanted to be with him without hiding it. Without either of you caring about what others might think. Without there being judgment from people closest to you.
“I have to go.” You stood up.
“What? Why? I’m sorry if what I said upset you.” Sarah jumped up too, grabbing your wrist to stop you.
“No, it’s not that. I just have to go.”
You texted Rafe to meet you at a random parking lot where he sometimes picked you up. You arrived before him and paced around nervously, biting the skin on the inside of your lips.
He pulled up about 10 minutes later, parked the car and then got out, hurrying to you. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
He placed his hands on your arms and looked you in the eyes with a worried expression, searching for the answer in your eyes.
“I’m fine, Rafe. I just needed to talk to you.”
He furrowed his brows and stood up taller. “Okay. What is it?”
“Sarah said something tonight and it made me think.”
Rafe rolled his eyes at that. “Sarah?”
You nodded. “She asked me if I was tired of hiding us, our relationship.”
“And?”
“I am. I’m so tired, Rafe. Aren’t you?” You asked, looking him in the eyes.
He contemplated for a second. “I am. But there isn’t really anything we could do about it, right?”
“We could just say fuck it and go public?” you asked, voice filled with hope.
“Go public? No, that’s not a good idea.” He shook his head, shooting down your idea immediately.
You were taken aback by that. “You said you were tired too?”
“Yes but this,” he pointed a finger back and forth between you two, “going public will ruin both of us.”
“Will it? We don’t know that, Rafe. We can’t possibly know that.”
“It most definitely will,” he argued.
“How can you be so sure?”
“We’re supposed to hate each other.”
“So? I love you, Rafe. I don’t care anymore. I wanna be your girlfriend everywhere, not just your bedroom or this random-ass parking lot. I want to be your girlfriend during the day too, not just night. Don’t you want that?”
“Of course I do but it’s not that simple. You’re asking for a lot.”
You took a step back, away from him. “I’m asking for a lot? I want us to be normal!”
“Baby.” He tried to get closer again but you just backed up again.
“Don’t fucking ‘baby’ me right now! Do you even love me?” You were beginning to feel frustrated and that brought tears to your eyes.
“Of course I love you! You knew that this is what it was going to be like when we started dating. You knew!” He was clearly angry and frustrated too.
You took in a shaky breath. Rafe’s constantly angry but it’s never been directed towards you before.
“Then I can’t do this anymore.”
“Kid-” he said, voice now quieter, almost pleading.
“No, I can’t do this to myself.” You turned around and hurried towards your bike which was lying next to the curb. 
“Let’s just talk about this!” he called after you.
“Clearly there’s nothing to talk about anymore.” You looked back at him.
“I love you.”
“Do you?” you asked, eyes filled with tears.
“Of course I do.”
“Then why don’t you want to be with me?”
“I do want to be with you but what we have is complicated.”
“It’s really not, Rafe.” You got on your bike and pedaled away as quickly as possible. You didn’t greet your parents as you got home and stormed past them to your room where you finally broke down.
You loved him. Of course you loved him. But you were tired and he wasn’t willing to compromise. 
Days passed and you barely left your room. All you did was wallow in sadness and cry yourself to sleep every night. And even then you didn’t get any peace because he even filled your dreams. You couldn’t get a break.
Rafe was absolutely miserable too, lashing out at everyone, breaking furniture and punching walls. He couldn’t sleep so he sat on the balcony the whole night, occasionally doing a line or smoking something to make him feel better but it never worked, he couldn’t get the heartbreaking look of you in that parking lot out of his head. 
It was a warm summer night a couple of days after your breakup. Rafe was smoking a joint on the balcony at Tannyhill when Sarah approached him, keeping her distance just in case. She stood by the door and leaned against the frame.
“You should go after her.”
Rafe turned around and stared at his sister. “What?”
Sarah said your name and Rafe swore his heart skipped a beat, or stopped working completely. 
“Why the hell should I talk to her. She’s your friend,” he scoffed and took another hit, looking at the treeline.
“You love her.” 
His head snapped towards Sarah.
“I know, Rafe.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you think you know but you don’t. So get lost.”
“It wasn’t really hard to figure out,” she continued. “I’ve never seen you actually happy before, you know?”
“Go annoy someone else.” He looks away before taking a big breath to calm his racing heart.
“It’s not the end of the world to love a pogue, Rafe. It’s literally not that big of a deal. You’re so stupid.”
He sighed before he spoke. He couldn’t believe he was about to actually talk to Sarah of all people about this. “It’s not just that.”
Sarah raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue and explain what he meant by that.
Another sigh. “She’s the first girl I’ve ever loved and I pussied out when she told me she wanted to stop hiding.”
“Go talk to her.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Of course it is.”
“She loves you, Rafe, for whatever reason. I hate seeing her suffer. I don’t care that much about you but your actions are what caused this. So fix it so I can have my friend back.”
“You’re so annoying, y’know that?” His blunt had run out and he put the butt into the ashtray, then pushing past Sarah into the house
“Where are you going?” She whipped around and followed Rafe down the stairs.
“Where do you think I’m going, dumbass?” 
“Say hi for me.” 
“I won’t.” He slammed the door and got in his car, making the drive across town to your house. He wasn’t even sure what he was going to say. That he’s sorry? That’s pathetic.
He stopped the car on the side of the road and walked up to your house, picking up pebbles as he went.
He threw one against your bedroom window. The sound was loud in the quiet of the night but you didn’t open the window on the first try like he had hoped.
He threw one more. And then one after that. He kept trying until you pulled open the window, staring down at him. “What the hell do you want?” you hissed.
“I love you. I was an idiot. I was a pussy and I made a big deal about something that isn’t even that important. I love you and I don’t care who knows. I want you to be mine 24/7. I knew I was going to love you from the moment I saw you at Midsummers. I’m a fucking fool and I’ve never deserved you in the first place. I’ve never deserved your love but I need it. I can’t live without your love. You’re like a drug and I cannot live without you. I can’t get you out of my damn head. I’m half the man that I could be when I’m without you. You’re the first girl I’ve ever loved and I promise I will try to be worthy of you and your love for as long as you’ll have me. I want you to be my girlfriend officially. I want to show you off and take you on dates. I want to introduce you to my dad. I just want you. I will love you in private and in public, when we’re alone and when with friends. I promise. Please, just give me another chance. I’m sorry.”
Rafe watched you disappear from the window and his heart sunk. He tried. He turned to leave but then heard the front door open and saw you sprinting towards him in your cute pajamas and messy hair.
He caught you in his arms, holding you close to his chest so tight you thought you were going to suffocate.
“You’re a fucking idiot,” you mumble against his t-shirt.
“I know.”
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
“You will have to do a lot of groveling.”
“I will, I promise.”
You raised your head from his chest, looking up at him. “Did you really mean all that?”
“I did and I do. I love you and it shouldn’t matter if we’re from the opposite sides of an island. It’s not important in the slightest because I love you and that’s all that matters.”
“Do you wanna come inside?” you asked.
“Thought you’d never ask.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you to his side as you made your way back towards the house. He pressed a lingering kiss to your hair, keeping his lips there.
“I love you, kid.”
“I love you too, baby.”
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urfavlarry · 4 months
Note
heyyy could you please write a joost x fem! reader fic where the reader too is slightly famous, and she and joost have been SECRETLY dating for a year but no one knew it, so it comes as a big shock to everyone when they find out through either a paparazzi or leaked photo online or through an accidental giveaway of it during an interview <33
Red handed
Joost Klein x fem!reader
A/N: istg this is so bad but I hope you like this lmao and sorry if its short :,)
warnings: swearing, not proof read
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╰┈➤ ⋆。‧˚ʚ 🐦 ɞ˚‧。⋆
You scrolled through your phone, eyes wide and millions of thoughts were going through your head. You and Joost were currently miles apart, you having to leave for a family vacation you looked forward to the whole year. Joost like the gentleman he was accompanied you to the airport, helping you with everything and chatting with your family. When the time of the departure came, Joost pulled you into one last embrace before going your own ways. The first few days were wonderful. You enjoyed yourself on the beach, some fans recognising you which made you so so happy to be known all over the world. Like I said before, you were having a wonderful time until now. You stumbled upon a photo that was shared by an unknown user, already having thousands of views of you and Joost at the airport. You never really experienced paparazzi, only a small amount but not to the point people leaked photos of you when you were just walking across the street to the grocery store like they do to some celebrities.
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user77220096543
@user77220096543
Joost Klein and Y/N L/N at the Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam this Monday morning.
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Liked by loverboyz, y/n4life and 89,689 others
@user74320531 and 76.5K others commented
user555: new ship?
maxxinerivera: yall are some stalkers let them live tf
joostkleinswife: joost can do better then that
╰┈➤ midnightsxlover replied to joostkleinswife: too real
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Joost knew about the photo, already messaging you if you’re okay, reassuring you everything will be okay and that you would work things out. It wouldn’t even bother you that people knew about your relationship, you weren’t ashamed of Joost and would show him off proudly but some fans were too much to handle. Most people sent the both of you death threats but you chose to ignore them. Why should they decide who you love?
After getting back home to The Netherlands you got greeted by Joost waiting for you, the place being crowded from all the crazy fan girls trying to take photos of you two together or yell congratulating and kinds things to you which you dearly appreciated. It was something you expected, you were bound to get caught someday and it was really a miracle you kept it a secret for a little over a year. Joost picked you up and spinned you around, kissing you on the forehead making all the fans cheer. Your face felt hot, holding onto Joosts hand which he gladly squeezed as reassurance. The both of you walked out of the airport hand in hand Joost getting in to the taxi with you and went to your shared home.
It felt nice to be home, calming even. Joost picked you up making you wrap your legs around his waist, walking with you to your bedroom. He layed you down gently before getting on top of you, caging you with his weight. “Joost.. come on I didn’t even unpack.” “That can wait, are you okay tho? With all those people knowing about us?” You thought about it for a few minutes, your hand in Joosts soft blonde hair. You shrugged slightly, making Joost look up at you. “If anyone is bothering you I have no problem speaking up about it. You know I love you with my whole heart mijn liefde.” (my love) “I know, I know. It’s just a bit overwhelming but I expected it to happen some day I mean the media is crazy soo.. I’m okay with people knowing.” Joost smiled lovingly at you, kissing your cheek, then mouth. The kiss was quick but sweet, making your stomach erupt with butterflies and cheeks feel hot. You stare at his adorable face, his soft smile making your day a hundred times better like it usually did.
You went on to show each other off, Joost always having a hand on your waist or even just holding onto your arm like a lost child meanwhile you posted things with you two together happily, showing up at his concerts more often sometimes singing your own songs to open up Joosts concerts which you loved doing. People saw you guys as THE couple, everyone cheering, clapping, yelling during concerts when you ended the concert with one last bow and hug with your partner. It truly made you happy how people supported you through and through, some defending you when you got hate online which you after some time chose to ignore. Joost was more than happy to bring you to every event possible, even when he got to perform for Eurovision that same year, you were there for every pre-party and after-party, performance ect. even after his disqualification you never left his side.
Now you were on one of your friends tour, Bambie to be exact as an opener along with Joost. It was fun, the atmosphere being a lot different from your usual concerts which you welcomed with open arms. At the end of the concert the crowd screamed for more, so all you three looked at each other with smirks, performing a song you three worked on just a few months back. It had a mix of all your three singing styles you and Joost popping in a few phrases in your mother tongue. It made the crowd cheer, some booing which was expected but you didn’t care, having fun with your favourite people. At the end of the show, you looked at the crowd, realisation hitting you of how many people you influenced and how many people supported you. Joost grabbed your waist, kissing you on the cheek while Bambie started clapping making the crowd do the same. Maybe putting yourself out there wasn’t so bad after all.
。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。⋆ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆ ⋆ ˚⋆⋆ 。
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╰┈➤ ⋆。‧˚ʚ 🐦 ɞ˚‧。⋆
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dear-ao3 · 5 months
Note
Question for the mods....
HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MEET???
Like what???
How??
I am so god damn curious about you two. I wanna study yall under a microscope lol
Also ngl kinda envious of how close of friends you two seem to be. (Being an introverted shy af mofo sucks lmao)
I would actually probably read a whole ass book or watch a sitcom or something of the seemingly ever present weird-ass shit that seems to happen on a day-by-day basis.
/gen /lh /nf /pos
2018 newsies fandom. we weren't overly close but we bonded over race and albert a little and then katya dropped off the face of the earth for about a year.
during 2020 lockdown we both independently got into the witcher fandom and somehow ran into eachother again and had the fingers pointing OH MY GOD Y O U !!! moment in our dms. we bonded over hating jaskier. during this time we realized we were both dancers and katya was looking at dance colleges, i was already in college for dance and since it was lockdown and we couldn't go anywhere i told katya my experience auditioning at places to give him a good idea of places. and then i broke every internet safety rule known to man and said hey what if you had applied to my college but didnt know it?? and then one thing led to another and i dished out all the tea on my school. (only After that did we face reveal and give eachother our names lol) and then katya applied. mostly as a joke. until it wasnt a joke because that school gave katya a shit load of money and actually had stuff katya wanted to do. katya ended up coming to one of my zoom ballet classes and it took everything we had to not loose our shit on camera.
during this time we mostly kept eachother sane in lockdown writing witcher fanfic, and sending eachother awful thirst traps on instagram to pitbull music. one of our awful bits was using the dilf filter to make bad frat boy edits.
come august of 2021 we both moved into college. the same college. in the same building. it was wild. i pinched myself several times in shock. we went on a walk around campus with some worms on strings and were like what the hell how did we get here.
we continued to hang out and did weird insane things together. we took a class on the french revolution together where i had to put up with katya and fennec awkwardly flirting (read: making finger guns at eachother).
and then, since i was 2 years older, i was graduating and was going to stay in the area for a job and was like hey. what if we got an apartment together? and then we did. several adults agreed to this. idk why they let us. but now we live together in a real life apartment and we haven't even killed eachother yet. neither of our parents know that we met online. each of them have a different fake story as to how we know eachother and we really just hope they are never in the same room long enough to ask eachother about it. but its insane. 12/10 would recommend.
katya wanted me to include old tumblr screenshots of us talking, heres what i found from circa 2020:
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we've always been like this lol
and heres some ancient greatest hits from instagram, i dont have context and trust me you dont want it:
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every now and then the two of us look at eachother and go. how the fuck did we end up here??? (we have no idea)
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mediumgayitalian · 5 months
Text
fic rec friday 14
hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!
at last (i see the light) by @theroyalsavage
Of a tower, a missing prince with the sun in his hair and the ability to heal with a touch, and a terrible-dangerous-very-bad bandit who’s never been all that good at being very bad, dangerous, or terrible. An AU based off of Disney’s Tangled.
IVE BEEN W A I T I N G FOR A SOLANGELO TANGLED AU OMG. and this ATE. was so fucking good. obviously bc its theroyalsavage but still omg. sorry for harrassing u btw. but i LOVE this. nico as flynn pov and just fucking reluctantly smitten from the beginning.....oh i know that's right
2. a letter to the moon (it is not brighter than you) by @theroyalsavage
When his kingdom is plagued by a series of unsolvable murders, Prince Will Solace must confront several things: tragedy, helplessness, and the dizzy-sweet inevitability of falling in love.
is this, like the author's note indicates, reminiscent of bbc merlin? yes. and so i LOVE. rivals to friends to lovers my BELOVED. royalty aus my BELOVED. and honestly yall should be supporting my royalsavage agenda purely by her titles like LOOK at these. my heart hurts like
3. In the darkest grays by @izlaria
[The sun bursts, clouds break.] Nico di Angelo loves in color. This is something that Will Solace has always known.
hi. i am obsessed w this fic. a nico character atudy that is disguised as will character study that IS a will character study........something something they are braided strings of fate something something....also! sally jackson my love!! she is everything to me and of COURSE she would show up here!! i am also obsessed w longtime pining will like is it even a solangelo fic if will has not been in the trenches since he was ten years old
4. eudaimonia by @forochel
Nico watched Percy wave his arms excitedly at Annabeth and breathed through the habitual twisting of his stomach. For a moment, he thought of walking over to them - ever the masochist, he thought wryly to himself - but then Annabeth threw her head back in a laugh, and Nico dismissed the thought. There would be another time and another place. ** Diverges SLIGHTLY from canon in that Nico does not confess to Percy right off the bat - he gets the chance to heal, find himself and a place to stand in camp, and form friendships. Also, attempts to fix the whole Solangelo shoehorning thing.
AUTHOR IF YOU ARE STILL ACTIVE. FOROCHEL IF YOU SEE THIS. I AM BEGGING. KNEES ON THE GROUND HANDS CLASPED ROSARY CHOKING LIKE A NOOSE. PLEASE. PLEASE UPDATE THIS SERIES IM BEGGING. I KNOW IT IS UNGRATEFUL BUT 20K IS NOT ENOUGH. THIS IS N I C O S VOICE. LIKE ACTUALLY. dude it KILLS me this is HIM 😭😭😭 i cannot get over how wonderful this is and how FRESH....like this came out right after boo! it was fresh in ur mind!! and you went CRAZY like this is SO SO GOOD!! this fic is CONSTANTLY rotating in my mind and i am constantly thinking about the path it carved.....hve never gotten over it ever
5. Baby Satyrs and Charming Boyfriends by @biancadiangeno / @fiestiest
Nico di Angelo had absolutely no idea how babysitting works, and Will Solace was having way too much fun teasing him to actually help out.
this fic is so silly and fun. i love it!! and the ending made me giggle will needed that humbling
thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!
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wonxlvr · 1 month
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High All The Time
you get me so high- the neighbourhood
— “your my best friend, ill love you forever.”
For @bywons ‘on ℴur 𝑙ove。✦ ’ event!! Go check out the other amazing writers :)
Pairing: stoner!heeseung x fem!reader || Word count: || 1K+ (1794) || Genre: LOTS of angst, fluff, second chance ||Warning: cursing, mentions of death, mentions of drug and drug usage, NOT PROOF CHECKED!
preview 🎬: The high school sweethearts, thats what you and heeseung were known for. Up until senior year when heeseung became a druggie, which took a toll on your relationship.
eve’s notes: STOP WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG FOR ME TO MAKE THIS 😭 anyways its finally out so i hope yall enjoy 🙏 it feel like it couldve been better but its still pretty good IG…
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You walked into school, usually with your boyfriend of 3 years but he ditched you to go smoking behind the school, yet again. You were wearing sweats and your Heeseung’s only good hoodie, the rest all reeked of substances and cigarette burns. You would’ve worn something more appealing, but you were too tired.
Heeseung used to be the sweetest boyfriend ever. You met him in your sophomore year through mutual friends and several classes you shared and instantly hit it off. Casual meet ups turned into dates, and on your 2nd date he asked you to be his girlfriend. To which you obviously said yes.
Up until senior year is when things fell apart, he hung out with a bad group of friends and ended up ditching you to go do drugs with them.
You never really had a problem with it until he missed almost every date because he was knocked out cold. You were deeply concerned for his health and well being, that being the core factor to all of your fights with him.
Heeseung came over to your place on the weekends, tripping over his own feet and smelled too strongly of weed.
“Babe, Again? I told you that you needed to stop” you said gently.
“Im sorry, i promise ill stop, baby.” He apologizes, slurring over his words. It was obvious he wasnt sincere with his words, but again, and again, like a fool, you fell for it every time. Thinking he would change.
As you walked hands in your pockets, pity stares were thrown your way but you tried not to mind it. You approached your locker and quickly got your stuff. You saw a glimpse of Heeseung and quickly stormed over to him.
“Baby, where have you been!?” You said in a huff. Heeseung covered his ears to show as if you were being too loud.
“Chill, i was just out back with chenle and the others. And stop yelling, you give me a headache.” Heeseung said as he held his hand up to his head.
You scoff to the side, “I thought you said you would quit?” You angered. Heeseung shrugged and walked pass you angering you more.
“Stop running from your problems!” You yelled from behind, he pretended not to hear you as he went to his friends.
Your eyes welled up with tears, but you blinked them away before anyone could see. You quickly walked to your next class half expecting heeseung to show up but as always, he never did.
You laid your head down and tried to nap. You were tired of him, tired of school, tired of everything. Luckily high school would be ending very soon, in less than a week.
Days pasted by faster than you expected, and graduation day came sooner than anticipated.
Heeseung agreed to have his focus solely on you on graduation day.
The night before the big day, heeseung came over and stayed with you the whole night. School had ended already and now the only event left was graduation day.
You both watched movies and ate snacks together. You were laying on heeseung and you felt his breaths get calmer and short sighs coming out every now and then. When you looked up, he was fast asleep and it was the cutest sight you have seen. You kissed his cupid bow shaped lips and you swore you’ve never felt more in love with someone in your life. Soon falling asleep on him.
Graduation day came and went, heeseung had suprised you with your favorite flowers and a beutiful necklace with an infinity sign to represent your relationship. You made a silent promise to never take it off, the necklace meaning a lot to you.
Hugs and pictures were exchanged throughout the day, the last day was overwhelming for almost everyone.
Jay announced a graduation party that night at his parents house since they would be gone for the week. Everyone was going so you thought why not go as-well.
That night, you did your hair pretty, did your makeup soft, and wore something simple as jeans and a black top.
You went with your friends and told heeseung to meet you at Jay’s place. You and your friends arrived a little later and you stayed with them for a bit until all of you heard yelling.
“y/n!” Jay called. You snapped your head to his direction with a questioning look.
“You need to come with me, your boyfriend is going crazy!” Jay exclaimed.
You got up from your sitting spot creating a domino effect and causing all of your friends to get up as well.
Jay signalled to follow him, and that you did like ducklings following their mother.
When you saw heeseung, he looked like he was on something and was yelling at someone.
“Heeseung!” You said, but your voice was drowned out from his yelling. You pushed yourself through the crowd until you were close enough to reach him.
Just as he raised his fist, you grabbed his hand and led him out the house.
When he saw you, his eyes softened and his demeanor shifted.
“Baby, what was that?” You questioned
“That guy was talking mad stuff you know i cant let that slide, love,” he spoke in a daze.
“Babe, what did you take” you said plugging your nose to stop the smell.
Heeseung shrugged and muttered something incoherent.
“What?” You asked
“Never mind.” He sighed
“No, tell me baby.”
“Just forget it!” He spoke louder.
“Tell me, what did you take?” You questioned inpatiently
“I said forget it, y/n!” He yelled in your face. You were taken aback from his outburst.
“Oh so its y/n now, huh?” You snapped.
“Look, just let it go” he scoffed.
“Hee, dont you get it? I care about you, just tell me!” You insisted.
“Fine, i just took a few tabs. You happy?” He mocked.
“tabs!? Heeseung what were you thinking! Thats dangerous, you could die!” You yelled.
“So what?” he said.
“so what!? Youre SERIOUSLY asking me that right now!? Heeseung, i love you too much to loose you. Please stop this addiction before it gets any worse.” You pleaded with him.
“I dont need you to dictate my life. Just stop telling me what to do!” He shot back.
You scoffed, “fine, you know what? I will. Heeseung, im breaking up with you.” You said, tears threatening to fall.
“What? Baby, you can be serious right now,” Heeseung argued.
“Dont call me that anymore, heeseung we are done. Dont even try to contact me.” You cried, tears already pouring down your checks.
“No please, y/n please! I cant go on without you in my life!” He begged.
“You said you dont need me, right? So theres that, now ill leave you alone.” You sobbed, you turned away as he tried to convince you to stay. you ran away from him wiping your tears with your wrist and quickly dialed your friends number with shaking hands.
“Y/n? Whats up?”
“Isa, i need you to come take me home right now,” you said in broken sentences.
You heard her cut the line of and within minutes she pulled up in front of you.
You got in the passengers seat as you cried uncontrollably. Isa tried to console you while still trying to keep her attention on the road. She drove you home and told you to call her whenever you need and drove away.
You ran to your bed to cry in your pillow. Your phone buzzed several times, all from heeseung. Hundreds of missed calls and hundreds more unread messages. You put your phone on silent as you cried loudly in your bed.
When you woke up, your pillow was still damp and it was bright outside. All of the event of that night came hurling to you like a bad dream, causing a major headache. You only wanted to crawl in your bed and never come out.
You checked you phone and under all the notifications from heeseung, was a miss call from jay. Confused, you decided to call him back.
“Hello?” You spoke in a rasp when he picked up.
“Y/N! I need you to come to the hospital, heeseung just got into a bad accident.” He said in a panic.
You didn’t believe it at first, you didnt want to believe it. But still you called up isa and told her to go to the hospital.
“What happened?” She asked while driving with speed but with efficiency.
“I broke up with him last night, and now jay told me he got into an accident. Now i feel like shit.” You said burying your head in your hands.
“Hey, hey, its not your fault okay? Me and the girls will always be here for you” she comforted.
“Thanks, isa. I love you guys so much,” you thanked.
“ No problem, now go get your man!” Isa said as she parked outside of the hospital doors.
You smiles and thanked her again before you dashed inside. You spotted Jay and ran up to him,
“Y/n! Heeseung got into a car accident last night, he is in that room but he’s unconscious right now, i thought you might wanted see him.” Jay said softly.
You nodded and went into the room jay pointed to. There you saw Heeseung on the bed, countless of machines and wires connected to his body. You held his unresponsive hand and broke down on your knees.
“Hee! Im so sorry, I shouldve never left you alone like that, i was too harsh. Please! Wake up, I cant imagine my life without you!” You sobbed, holding his hand to your forehead.
“Im sorry for being a bad girlfriend, im sorry for being a brat, im sorry for not looking after you more, im sorry for everything, im sorry i never said ‘i love you’ enough.” You said in broken sentences and several huffs of air.
“Please, heeseung. I love you so much,” you cried uncontrollably.
“I love you too, baby” the sudden voice scaring you
“Heeseung! Youre awake!” You hugged his neck close, never wanting to let go.
Once you backed up to give him space, he confessed to you
“Im sorry babe, its all MY fault. I shouldve stopped using substances a lot time ago. I was meant to be in the position, anyways.” He sighed
“Hey, its okay, but please promise me you wont ever touch a drug in your life again.” You pleaded.
Heeseung smiled softly up at you, “i promise, your my best friend ill love you forever.”
And with that, you passionately kissed him cause you were the only thing that could keep him high all the time.
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TY FOR READING THIS FAR MAUHAH YAY LOVE YOU ALL ❤️
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