#its dog hours hahahaha

[enpr-ss]

3 HOURS!!!! LETS GOOOOOOOO

“That guy’s in a funny spot…. And yet I’m not laughing” etho pls

Him jumping off the stairs to dodge being trapped by 2 ravagers is just so cool. And then he enters level 3 and it’s pathetic tiny slime man again. “I wanna go homeeeee”. He’s so panicked in the dripstone it’s great. HOW DID HE DODGE BETWEEN THREE VEXES AND A RAVAGER AND EVOKER TEETH OH MY GOD. he can’t make the chain parkour when it’s not going LOL. and then he gets help from Pearl to do parkour! Everyone is an etho girl. All that and he dies to a vex.

The audacity to call Gem a chihuahua when he started it and the one who shakes like a little dog.

That’s an interesting strategy of also considering the slots the cards take up. Never thought of it that way before. That one should swap commons for rares makes sense obviously, but the way explained it! What a gamer.

BRO HE TRUSTED THAT CARPET BLOCKER SO MUCH!!! such a greedy boi. He has his loot path READY. so far he seems to be more scared of level 1 than of Willie. The shaky cam is REAL. DOUBLE REPAIR KIT HOLY!!!!! THE DUNGEON LOVES HIM. 3 EMBERS 2 CROWNS 4 COINS!!!! Tango probably limited it to 1 repair kit a run because he’s etho-proofing it. He knows. HE’S LEAVING THE DUNGEON WITH LIKE 10 CLANK BLOCK!!!

I’m not surprised he’s willing to trade 4 tomes for bounding strides. Jump boost is no joke. Etho knows that any game breaking strats he employs is going to be nerfed. He is self aware. Mountain climbing ravagers are no joke.

What a greed run. Wide turns to get the treasure! Evasion + tome = “a failed rusty run”. this guy.

Speedrun!!! Server literally forcing etho not to be greedy. All that in 5 minutes.

“There’s no ravagers here” SIKE. I really like how he strategizes and really makes use of his deck and where the cards get deployed. Less shriekers in level 3 means a chance to build up clank block. Gotta go down to level 2 asap to trigger treasure and keys there. Lure the ravagers to create an exit path. OF COURSE ITS THE GEM OF GREATNESS THAT TROLLS HIM BY BEING ONE BLOCK OFF. HAHAHAHA. SECOND WIND CLUTCH!!! HAZARD BLOCK WITH A RAVAGER BUT IT MADE A DIFFERENCE ANYWAYS!! JUST BARELY MADE THE CHAIN PARKOUR!!! Rusty!!! 6 EMBERS 4 COINS AND A CROWN OH MY GOD. Noooo he missed the crown in the center! “We stumble and we run” “STUMBLE”. The Shaky Camera!!! “I don’t want to see Swagger right now if I see Swagger I’m going to cry” *Swagger pops up immediately* “nooooooo”

HE JUST BE JEDI MINDTRICKING THAT RAVAGER INTO THE ROOM!!! Hypno must be fuming right now. I cannot believe he jumped right over Willie’s head, got stuck, and still manages to swim to shore without getting a single hit. Cub is so sad right now. Etho always has a Strat for the worst case scenario of being hazard block (a hard learned lesson right there lol), and he’s so happy when the way is actually cleared for once. Dodging that ravager and then MOMENT OF CLARITY RIGHT BEFORE HE EXITS!!! The dungeon is taunting him and wants him to stay so bad. AND THEN SWAGGER IN THE SHOP!!!

So he WAS a honey doper and sus stew slurper. Your barrel betrays you Etho. Oof that was rough. Ravager wrangling on level 1 is hard sometimes. He gives fair deals!! And calls out ripoffs! And it still doesn’t work lol. Infrequent runners giving out shards for cards makes sense because they aren’t going to use those shards anyways and having fun in dungeon with better cards matters more lol.

Remember when Tango said that people would never hit treasure limit on level 1? Especially without getting a key? Etho and Hypno and Gem are laughing at his redstone right now. Etho badmouthing Sprint before reluctantly buying it and now he loves it. Etho explores ONE time and immediately gets punished and he vows to never make that mistake again. HE GOT SANDWICHED BY THE LEVEL 2 DOORS LOL. HE ETHOWALLED HIMSELF. And of course the shop continues to torment him with bounding strides and nimble looting. I think he made the right choice there; especially since his deck has so much clank block.

How does he always get sprint right before entering level 3?? Rigged. HE ALREADY MEMORIZED LEVEL 3 AND LURES WARDENS AROUND!!? DARES TO UNSHIFT WHILE BLINDED AND ITS RIGHT THERE?!?! HOW?!! ETHO MY MAN HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! And then he misses Willie right there. AND HE MAKES IT!!! EVEN WITH A CAMPING RAVAGER!!!

Gem is absolutely right. Tango would hide an egg in the spiders den.

HE DOES IT AGAIN!!! Sprint right before level 3, in and out in roughly a minute, loot and scoot speeding his escape. And now Rusty!! 3 embers, 3 coins, and 3 crowns. That’s a lot. And he talks to Rusty like he’s telling his wild stories too. Sprint might be op, especially for level 3. Maybe tango should consider either nerfing it, making it more expensive, or limiting which level it can play at. He got 10 crowns. That’s insane. I don’t think anyone has ever left with 10 crowns without finding an egg / egg loot.

Etho: this is a deck building phase…. Here are three very good cards that I could buy. Hmmm…

Etho: *buys 5 tomes*

Etho: *hands in 20 tomes*

I hate him so much why is he like this. I think sprint and a time would have been fine too. But yeah any of those cards would have been fantastic. AND HE CALLS GEM A TRYHARD IN THE CAKE ROOM. THIS LITTLE SHIT.

AND THEY ALL GANG UP TO BEAT HIM UP FOR TAKING SO LONG. HAHAHAHAAH. BEST MOMENT OF DECKED OUT RIGHT HERE. JUSTICE AND KARMA HAS BEEN SERVED. OH MY GOD. HE SEES GEM FIRST WITH HER SWORD BUT ITS BDUBS WHO PUNCHES HIM TO DEATH. YES. THIS IS SO SATISFYING. AND THEY STEAL HIS CROWNS AND CARDS.

Etho out here defending victims of scams and bad deals. First Cleo now Bdubs. And of course Bdubs voted armadillo when Etho specifically said not to. Gem’s a loyal ethogirl!!! That’s why she wants to beat him up so much. Etho on his rants. We love it. And then he just sets up Bdubs perfectly for Scar’s ravager jumpscare. Love that jump boost activated at the perfect time for that as well.

Wow that’s a lot of coins. Wished he didn’t cut him looping those ravagers though. And look he’s too scared to do the gem vine swing over the ravager in the spiders den. I’m really liking the crystal tings for level 3. It sounds so cool. Etho’s got level 3 down pat. Oh my god that bdubs track gave me a legit jumpscare. Was that tango messing around?? And I can’t believe that Etho maxed out the treasure for both levels. Of course he did. How does the shop always troll him with a card that literally just out of his reach.

That was a classic turn around the corner and BAM ravager jumpscare. Truly it is the spooky season this phase. Slime Etho!! Look at him go, looping wardens and finding the right spot somehow in all that blindness and tension. He got loot and scoot combined with bounding strides. And it got wasted because he was blinded and the warden was right there. The jump boost lasts for so long. The ravager wrangler is back at it! And he’s just there telling tales to Rusty as he waits for the loot to dispense. 2 coins, 4 embers, and 3 crowns!! Max Clank? We haven’t seen that for a while. YO THAT RAVAGER WAS RIGHT THERE HOW DID HE NOT SEE IT?!? HOW DID HE SURVIVE? Bro the redstone delay with the vexes saved his life right there. I CANNOT BELIEVE HE JUST CHARGED THROUGH RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE RAVAGER ON ONE HEART!!!! OH MY GOD. AND HE MAKES IT!!!! That shaky camera though.

Wait has Etho not died on level 3 yet? Omg he isn’t afraid to not perma-sneak. Look at him breaking the game again. The wild thing is that he found a parkour shortcut that many people had thought impossible previously. And of course jump boost occurs immediately after. His runs are just hilarious. I THOUGHT HE WAS ABOUT TO JUMP INTO LAVA HAHA. And what a perfect ending with the exact amount of frost embers needed to purchase suit up.

44 CROWNS!!! WHAT.

[delugedecade]

Scooby-Doo! Legend of the Phantosaur

forcefully review as watched by Deluge

spoilers, obviously, but then again, I’m the one watching it for the first time.

I've been told this is the origin of Ultra Instinct Shaggy

It feels weird not to have the normal Scooby Doo intro theme, with this one having a Beatles pop rock like song.

Scooby and Shaggy really do get the short end of the stick a lot of the time.

I think this one is the first one on this list with Matthew Lillard that I've watched. and then the next being Lillard's first time as Shaggy.

Is coffee even good for dogs?

Shakey Joe is like high on coffee back there

Scooby channeling his inner Tassie Devil

THESES GUYS ARE STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL? OR AT LEAST COLLEGE?

The US Bureau of Supernatural Forces definitely exists purely for the gang to fuck with.

I was wondering why the GPS sounded familiar, It's John DiMaggio. though I'll be honest, I thought it sounded like Danny DeVito

God that barbeque looks sooooooo nice

I forget you guys call scones "biscuits"

Damn, they're giving Velma a love interest. I mean, they did with Mystery Inc with both Shaggy and HotDogWater. but still

They just happen to find a bone by being DOG

Winsor is like, almost identical wtf

The Phantosaur is here!

The action of this is definitely a lot more dramatic than all the others.

Yeah fuck up the Europeans!

The Psychedelia of this movie has much evident. I guess that's why the intro was so Beatles like.

I guess this movie really is early in their career, if Daphne's Tsundere about Fred.

Some wild theories by Daphne, but I'd expect nothing less.

ULTRA

INSTINCT

SHAAAAAAAAAGYYYYYYYYYYY!

Hahahaha. Dude punched himself to avoid Shaggy

Hmmmm Thaumtrope Mining Co really introducing the sus ones.

Daphne really knowing Fred won't be satisfied without a net catching someone.

Damn that's a really good RP idea. Daphne wearing fishnets to catch their significant other.

Velma in her own world but still being the brains for Daphne's Brawn. Pretty sure she's brawn, doesn't she have like martial arts training or something?

Daphne has motorbike experience, good to know

Scooby... please...

They really said that.

メニュー

Okay, Winsor, that's a little rude

Even thinking of the word bad breaks him out.

Biker gang actually being helpful with the gang.

There's two Phantosaurs.

Meddling kids ✅

Hmmm... Yeah it usually would take longer, and there's a whole half hour longer.

Oooh, Another mystery!

That thing didn't even bake, how did that decoy end up solid?

HOLY FUCK IS THE TOWN ON FIRE?

THE REAL PHANTOSAUR!

But probably using a souped up version of the Hypnomachine thing

YEAH BIKERS!

Oh my, it's the paleontologists

The paint stripper thing doesn't make sense, how the fuck does it get directed through the mouth?

Ahh, so it was a whole plot to get people out. just its for a keepsake giant dino and not the silver mine

Oh, they planted the paint strippers everywhere.

DAPHNE....

Superhuman strength to break off quartz. unless the strength of quartz is pretty bad.

Awfully long belt between three dudes. and probably the belts off of the professor.

Damn, Fred do be the heart of the team at this moment.

And there goes the whole town.

Or looks like just the main road.

Velma really asking him out after he leaves.

Probably shouldn't have all of them in the room

Wait so the meme of all of them dressed up as shaggy is from this movie?

Memes aside. Fun, exciting, really interesting mystery.

10/10

@submissiveking99 @tokufan400 @freeusemuses @asexxxualauthor

[ayeforscotland]

i know ur kidding about the sriracha thing, but trust me, its worse than you can ever imagine. i cooked spicy ramen for my partner once and after dinner we got frisky, but even though i had washed my hands, the oil from the chinese chili peppers i had cut up was still on my skin. my partner had to spend the next few hours in an oatmeal bath shoving ice cubes and oat milk where the sun dont shine. i felt so guilty i kept bringing them corn dogs in the bath. now we think its hilarious, but at the time it was a whole fucking predicament. 0/10 do not recommend.

Oh dear god, I hope you were both alright hahahaha

[sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better!

I was tagged by: @andtherestishistory13

What book are you currently reading?

Dark Archives by Megan Rosenbloom! “A librarian’s investigation into the science and history of anthropodermic bibliopegy; books bound in human skin.” I’ve just started it, but its absolutely enthralling. I’ve always been interested in the history of corpse rights as it pertains to bodily autonomy in minorities. 

What do you usually wear?

Flowy black skirts, little tops with lighter layers and long flowy sleeves, also typically in black. And lots of silver rings and necklaces. Think Stevie Nicks but goth.

How tall are you?

5′3 {though I feel I should’ve be taller.}

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event? 

I’m a pisces! & My birthday is International Women’s Day!

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Just my first name, though my family often calls me my first+middle, or just middle name. 

Did you grow up to become what you wanted as a child?

I had a lot of different ideas of what I wanted to be as a kid, but I’m still an artist and humanitarian, so in a way yes.

What is something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

I’m pretty good at picking up different art mediums that interest me. I’m not good learning different languages, I’ve tried and failed many hahahaha.

If you draw/write/create what’s your favorite thing that you’ve done created? 

One of my favorite original paintings, came to me in a dream. 

Dogs or cats?

I’ve grown up with dogs, but I want my own cat some day.

What’s something you would like to create content for?

I don’t have a specific subject in mind, but I definitely want to start painting again. Maybe do commissions or something.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

...other than GVF? foraging, baking, my eclectic fashion/decor sense. Social issues; currently doing a lot of research displacement of native americans.

What’s something you were excited for and turned out to be disappointing?

I was gonna try and travel this summer, but I have to focus on moving out and potentially finding a job with more hours, idk if that counts since it hasn’t happened yet.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I use to sing opera, and horseback ride (english style), I’m also pretty flexible cause I did ballet for 8 years. None of these have day-to-day applications though hahahaa

What’s something you wish you had at this moment?

an apartment. money. a cat. a girlfriend.

If you’re up for it, I tag: @star-boxer @satans-helper @kkdarling @lunaindigoraven @jake-kiszkas-smirk 

[vamprlestat]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ó ꒳ ò✿)

hiii, thank you so much for the ask!!! 💕💕💕

1. my dogs! i have four (diana, amora, frodo and bruce) and at least one one them is always by my side (usually diana hahaha). and i love these little creatures so much 🥺🥺

2. when you get to that part of a book where you just can’t put it down. it’s such a special feeling to be so invested in a story and its characters, it always fills my heart with warmth.

3. baking. i love putting ingredients together and ending up with something delicious. or maybe i just like sweets too much haha

4. going out for walks! i finally got back to it consistently and it’s been very nice so far. i just put on some music, maybe an album i want to listen to more carefully and just walk for about an hour. sometimes i take one of the dogs with me (wish i could walk all four at once but i think they’d just end up dragging me behind them)

5. making stuff, like knitting or crochet. and recently, sewing, which i’m learning right now. i also want to try my hand at embroidery sometime in the future 🤔 i bought the supplies, but haven’t had the chance to sit down and learn it yet. there’s something so satisfying about making something, putting effort and time into it. and i love when i see someone wearing something i made hahahaha

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. dangerous risk taker adrenaline rusher lefty eyebag 😌

Work is done. It was boring, but at least I didn't get difficult customers. Yeah, I sit all day, except when I go for lunch and then breaks. I try to move as much when I have break time. I wish we had bluetooth headsets, so I can do chores while waiting on a call haha

Ooh what did you make for dinner? How are you today?

When you say you said you don't move when you sleep, I picture you like a vampire in the coffin. With their arms crossed and just laying still 🤣 I sleep with my eyes closed hehehe but no, I sleep weird. I have to lay on my tummy, and I look like a starfish.

So the snow mobile is like riding a motorcycle?

Yeah I went on a jetski once and it was fun because of how fast we can go. But I was just a passenger though. I love kayaking. It's peaceful.

Thay flow rider thing looks fun, but I can see how you'd be sore. Did you do it a lot when you were on the cruise? Cause you can fall easily can't you? 😅

Yeah.. it just reminded me of you cause it's like baseball and archery in one.. cause you throw the ball in baseball, so axe throwing is like it and its sharp like an arrow. I don't know if I made sense but it made sense in my head 😅 lol

My eyes widened when I read the last part with the dogs. Definitely think you're crazy. Hahahaha no no I'm just kidding. Doing something like a vigilante thing. If I can do anything without getting caught, I'd probably do something like the rich thing. Scam them out of their riches, then donate to the ones in need and buy myself land to build a house.

If you could be president, what's the first thing you will do for the people?

-CuriousGeorge

Hello!! the weird left eyebag is back here! lol how r u? and what you doing now? i hope u r still awake. anywaay, i'm eating chocolate moose now, n it's so good!

yeah that could be one of the culprit, sitting down all day can make your muscles tight from your back up to your neck and then gonna give u a headache.

you can't even put in like a wired earphone? that sucks that you cant do anything else while taking calls.

I made a homemade club sandwich with bacon, turkey, ham, lettuce tomato and avocado. We also smoked a bologna for tomorrow so we can have some bologna sandwich. :D

lol.. i dont sleep like that but yeah sometime i really dont move when i sleep. hahahaha.

oh you sleep on your tummy? wow, what a funny coincidence. He sleeps like that most of the time, my crush also sleeps on her tummy and now you too? Do I attract people who likes to sleep on their tummy or something? lol

hmm yeah i guess it's the same like motorcycle. I dont know because i never ride a motorcyle by myself. I always sit as passanger.

yeah i think jetski and sea doo is kinda similar. hmm i guess that's why i havent tried canoeing or kayaking, maybe because i think it's a little too slow or something.. but also kinda scary for me, im just worried what if it tips over. especially kayaking, if it tips over im stuck in the water n cant roll back up with my leg stuck in the kayak n running out of breath. lol.

do you like white water rafting?? I looooove rafting! it's so fun! the adrenaline rush, love it!

yes i tried in when i was on a cruise. it's like an extra thing u can try but u have to pay. I think we booked it for an hour or something and yes, i fell easily because i dont know how to surf. I got bad whiplash to from falling on my back n my head hit the mat.

Do u like to fish? if u do, what type of fishing you like? fresh water fishing or deep sea fishing or fly fishing?

ah i see. yeah that makes sense. kinda like batting cage and shooting arrow. to be honest, i think it really sweet that you remember me about it. it's because u pay remember what i told u about me. n I appreciate it so much, so thank you. :)

so did u try axe throwing before?

i wanna try to go to (some places are called with this name) break room / rage room or something. that's a place where u go in a room n u can break whatever things u want in it. have u try that before?

oh yeah, i know it sounds crazy about destroying the place that mistreated dog or serve dog as food. I hate it. i think love is the loveliest animal and most loyal. so i think it's really fucked up if people mistreated animals especially dogs. it always pissed me off. :D your plan is nice too. we can be the robin hood duo.hahaha. complete with the eyebags of course. lol. plus i can do archery so i think we'll do good. lol

hm i really dont know how to answer this question actually. i have some thoughts but I prefer not to say it. :D what about u?

next question?

Cheerio!

[four-for-fidelity]

sometimes all you need is to watch the sunrise on the edge of a huge lake with someone you care about that you haven’t seen recently while you catch up as the world slowly wakes up

thanks for the breakfast date @solemnmoony <3

[nkhrchuwuya]

tipsy

bungou stray dogs | EXPLICIT | 861 words nakahara chuuya x reader/oc

alcohol does things to chuuya. you do things to chuuya. put together…

“hahahaha! chuuya, you’re such a silly little man.”

chuuya doesn’t even register the last three words as the alcohol’s effects swirl around his brain like a beautiful fog. all he hears is the sound of your near-erotic laughter, echoing in his ears as you straddle his waist like a fever dream.

he said he was going to get blackout drunk tonight. tough day at work. but he’s not blackout drunk, not yet at least. though you’ve taken away the wine bottles anyway because you’d rather avoid a hungover chuuya. but he’s passed several stages of drunk at this point, and you know that by experience.

it starts with loud chuuya. chuuya on his first glass is always extra loud. talking about anything, really. hobbies, stuff in his work, gossip from within the port mafia, ranting about ex-colleagues—his mouth runs a mile a minute as he drinks. which you don’t really mind—it’s endearing—but a lot of times it’s just much easier to usher him quickly into his second drink.

that leads him straight to quiet chuuya. chuuya who is deeply contemplative and has a lot of angst inside of him begging to come out. while he still has the ability to talk as he did prior, he’s now much quieter, and only drops heavy one-liners every time he does speak. it’s a good barometer to see how he’s been feeling the past week, except every line is at least twice as miserable as it really is in real life. quiet chuuya sits in a corner nursing his glass of wine until it’s empty and he’s near in tears.

which leads to the third-glass horny chuuya.

really, like something snaps. he goes from tense and silent to one that’s crossing the room with heavy footsteps headed straight to your warm embrace.

third-glass horny chuuya gives very, very eager consent. nosing at your neck, murmuring your name and little whines of “please, please, i need you right now” as his hands are going down your body. give him a push and he’ll back off—no problem, not hard at all—but if you continue to let him, the more enthusiastic he gets.

until he’s so desperate for you no more words come out, just grunts and pants and grinding.

he’s already midway through his third-glass tonight and you know if you wait any longer he won’t even be able to get hard at all, so you decide to give him what he wants.

chuuya makes slacks look extra beautiful, especially on his lithe frame, but by god does it look painful when tented with a dick as massive as his. you pop the button free and pull the zipper and shimmy it down his shaking hips.

you can’t help the laugh that comes out of you. “chuuya, you have to calm down a bit.”

which you’re sure he doesn’t understand in words but he does in spirit, because he whines a complaint, a sound that goes straight to both his dick and your core.

you take him into your mouth, a practiced gesture of tongue and hidden-away teeth. a groan that’s filled with relief exits his mouth, and you grin as your tongue goes further down his length. he sighs, a heavenly sound.

chuuya loves oral. giving, receiving. he can spend hours with you between his legs or him between your legs and he wouldn’t mind one bit. something about the adoration, the worship in the act gets him off so hard that you know it won’t take him more than two minutes right now to blow his load all over you.

but you don’t rush it, don’t push on forward because you want to enjoy this as much as he’s enjoying it. take the base of his dick in your hands and gently pump it as you soothe the head over with your tongue like a salty lollipop. the shivers of his hips are sensations that go straight down to your now-wobbling legs.

his hands suddenly fly to your hair, and so you decide to finish him off. all the way in your throat, so nothing goes to waste. his murmurs and moans finally escalate into a choppy, garbled version of your name, so sweet in its surrender, and the pain in your jaw dissipates as you hear him release one final sigh before his hips fall to the bed with a creak.

you look up at him, grinning, delighted in your handiwork and are about to tease him for round two when—

instead, you see chuuya snoring happily away against his pillow, mouth slightly open, drool falling out.

the anger and sexual frustration that broils in your gut at the sight disappears at his pleased, relaxed expression, such a contrast to the displeasure in his face earlier that night.

well, i guess that was worth it.

you wash yourself up quickly before coming back to bed with him, tucking you both under the blanket. you kiss his cheek, then pinch his nose, grinning as you lay down next to him.

“you better pay me back tomorrow.”

[hardyslave]

HOW PEAKY BLINDERS MEN TEXT

Includes: Thomas Shelby, Alfie Solomons, John Shelby, Arthur Shelby, Michael Gray

A/N: this is so stupid LMAO

THOMAS SHELBY

- he is SO dry.

- also a grammar nazi ://

- he texts so formally like he’s sending an important email every time

- takes HOURSSS to reply

- you’re lucky if he even replies at all

- a slow texter, he’s a complete grandpa with stuff like that

- taps his screen with his pointer finger LMAOO

- “ (Y/n), what does ‘DILF’ mean?”

- “DID SOMEONE CALL U THAT HSLSJAWJEKJX”

- “Yes? What does it mean? and what does hslsjawjekjx mean?”

- ghosts you then texts you for family meetings

- “tom do you want to go out later? :)” *on read for 2 weeks*

- *after two weeks* “Family meeting at 8. Don’t be late.”

- “that rhymes” *read*

- shows him what a meme is

- he pronounces it as “meh-meh”

- only replies to polly and the shelby groupchat

- you, arthur, john, and alfie are on mute (almost on block but he doesn’t know how to)

ALFIE SOLOMONS

- HE’S KIND OF NEW TO ALL THIS

- BUT HE TRIES HIS BEST

- he’d just accept whatever you say to him like

- “okay, alfiee. brbb”

- “What the fuck does that mean?”

- “it means be right back”

- “Ohhh okay IWFYLWYCH”

- “what”

- “It means I Will Fuck You Later When You Come Home”

- “uhm.. okay alfie :)”

- u both send pics of ur dogs

- “HAHAHAHA look alfie he’s humping my damn leg again”

- “He fucking what now?”

- when you and him are both at a meeting together he texts you horny or funny shit just to rile you up

- its either: “FLCP is so small” “what tf is an flcp alfie” “Future Lung Cancer Patient. He’s 5’7. Can you believe that?”

- or “Let’s get out of this fucking meeting before my balls explode, pet”

- in conclusion; he is a grandpa, but a cool one.

ARTHUR SHELBY

- stuck in 2013 im sorry

- sends chain messages still and those old tumblr girl quotes unironically :(

- sends bible verses to the group where linda’s in

- proceeds to send videos of him killing someone in a groupchat where linda’s not in :)

- takes great pleasure in giving tommy false information about the internet

- tom: Alfie, DILF.

- alfie: You’d like to fucking what now, Tommy

- y/n: HAHAHAJAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT DID U TELL HIM NOW ARTHUR OR JOHN

- tom: It means Die in London, Fucker..?

- finn: love is love, we accept you tommy 🏳️‍🌈

- john: HAJAHHAHAHHAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE TOMMY

- tom: Then what the fuck does it mean, eh Arthur?

- arthur: No idea tom

- that was the first and last time tommy tried modern slang

JOHN SHELBY

- both you and him are the only ones who laugh in caps lock

- “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH”

- quotes vines constantly on a daily basis in the shelby groupchat

- you, finn and him are the cultured ones

- so you all have inside jokes in text that no one else seems to understand

- john: do you guys remember that pineapple thing on twitter

- y/n: NO STOP THAT WAS DISGUSTING

- finn: jesus christ now it’s in my brain again

- *everyone else*: wtf are they talking about

- texts the gc at questionable hours of the day

- *at 3 am* john: Who wants to go to mcdonalds?

- y/n: me

- finn: me

- alfie: At this fucking hour?

- alfie: Me

MICHAEL GRAY

- tommy fan boy #1

- does NOT accept the tommy slander you, alfie, arthur, finn and john dish out to his favorite man

- michael: Leave him alone, guys he’s new to all this

- finn: not the tommy stan talking ??

- y/n: tommy shelby (degrading)

- john: Don’t be a pick me, Michael

- alfie: I dunno what the fuck they’re saying but I agree

- arthur: Hahahaha

- would text tommy everyday

- “Good Morning.”

- defends tommy in the groupchats with his life

- at this point you, alfie, arthur, finn and john now have a seperate gc just to slander tommy’s social media skills

- BECAUSE MICHAEL GETS SO HEATED

- in conclusion he’s a tommy apologist

[lewisdidthat]

DANNY THURSDAY!! i should really be finishing my project but eh he would defo be the type to take u out for a run and when you're tired he would carry you back <3 looks fucking amazing in golden hour please kiss him all over his face <3 is the kinda guy who would forward instagram memes that remind him of u <3 carries u around for fun just bc he's strong like that (expansion on first part) <3 makes a playlist for u on spotify when hes away so u think of him <3 WANTS u to wear his hoodies and clothes bc he thinks u looks adorable <3 shares his earbuds with u and matching bracelets my god i never knew that i was down that bad for this man - sergio dilf anon

SERGIO DILF ANON YOU'RE BACK!! i should be writing my thesis but omg there is so much to unpack here:

he would always try to take you for a run or even a sunset walk bc ew running. imagine him taking you on that trail he ran on dts in monaco and jumping in the water with him omg

he doesn't just look amazing in golden hour. he is golden hour personified.

he would have the wackiest taste in memes but oh to be sent a meme by daniel ricciardo, a girl can only dream. i feel like we've only gotten a taste of his weird sense of meme humour with those random animal photos he sometimes chucks in an instagram post hahahaha

he would carry you around just because he loves to show of his muscles, but if you were feeling sick, he wouldn't let your feet touch the ground until you were feeling better.

the first time he sees you wear his hoodie is when you're facetiming the first time you're trying long distance. he sees you through the phone and is like omg i need to wife her up. next time he's home, he purposefully leaves as many hoodies at ur place so that you can always have one nearby.

he would of course share earbuds and would 100% make playlists for every occasion even if its like a walking the dog play list, thunderstorm playlist, airplane playlist etc... and of course he would make ones for when you're missing eachother

matching promise bracelets for your 6 month anniversary omgomgomg

i may have gone too far here and now i can't go back

It’s Danny Thursday!

[marcherarrant]

Day 3 baby!!! Its going so perfect!!! The homie @bones.2.pick is the best road dog! He hikes fast though, damn! But we abide by hyoh protocol so we meet up later if he feels like going fast. We are at our first hostel (@atchostel )and it's perfect! Such good vibes and the people here are passionate about what they do. Highly recommend this place! Meals are included and laundry and it's just super nice and clean and people are super chill and friendly! All the hikers I've met on the trail have been super cool too! Everything is just going so good! I knew I would be in good walking shape because I am always walking, always, so I knew my legs and feet would be 100. But before the trip I never trained walking with my kit so I thought I might be outta shape in terms of having a bag on. Everyone tells me my bag is big and heavy but it feels so lite to me and has not been hard to carry at all and I'm thinking wow what a great surprise that it's not an issue at all. Then I had an aha moment hahaha. Although I did not train with the kit for the trail I realized that everyday I was walking before the trail I was carrying a huge camping bag full of paint with two big bottles of water and food hahaha. That thing has to weigh at least 50 pounds hahahaha, and I was walking with it like 5 hours a day down the tracks hahaha, so I was unknowingly training for the trail and not even thinking about it hahaha. On another note, when we were staying at our first shelter at Springer Mountain I heard a helicopter and gun shots at night. I figured the gun shots were a hunter. But then I heard a machine gun!!! It sounded like a war was going on!!! I asked the homie the next morning if he heard it all and he didnt! I thought I had just hallucinated it all hahaha. The next day we found a sign saying they were doing military training in the area and that we might see people in camouflage and to 'not engage' hahaha. Then we came across a military truck hahaha. I still had not put two and two together from what I had heard the night before hahaha. Then we met some Appalachian trail volunteers who told us about the military and that we might here machine guns hahaha.

[clouds-of-wings]

Snow White, the elfvampire-werewolf, and the seven highwaymen

I wrote this like 5 years ago and recently found it again. Don’t read if you object to: rude language, rude characters, butchering of beloved fairytales, murder, dumb and crude humor, Twilight mentions

There was once a young woman whose name was Snow White. Her mother was dead and her father, who was a king, had remarried. His new wife didn’t like Snow White much.

One day, the new queen said to her hunter: “Take Snow White to the forest and kill her.” The hunter didn’t give two shits about Snow White, so he didn’t ask any follow-up questions to that otherwise worrying instruction. “Of course my queen, I will gladly kill everyone you want dead. In fact I love to kill. Hahahaha!” The queen was happy that she always knew the perfect man for the job. She took a bath and the hunter took Snow White to the forest.

When they were in the forest, Snow White said: “I think my stepmother has ordered you to kill me.” “You are so smart,” said the hunter, “and so dead! LOL!” “Please don’t kill me, dear hunter!” “Why not? The queen is my, well, queen. I have to do as she says.” “And I’m your princess! You have to do as I say too!” “But you’re just some little girl, and she scares me!” Snow White sighed. “I guess you do not know my terrible secret. I am an elfvampire-werewolf.” And she transformed herself into a monster. “WOW! HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?!” yelled the hunter and Snow White bit his head off.

---

A little later, Snow White, in her elfvampire-werewolf form, was trampling through the forest and eating every animal she saw. But when she spotted a little hut, she transformed back into a human. She entered the hut and saw that someone had randomly prepared 7 meals, arranged them on plates, put the plates on the table and left them there to get cold and attract bugs.

Snow White did not see this very suspicious and weird setup as an obvious trap or some kind of otherworld bait bullshit. She merely thought:

“Whoever lives here must be a fucking moron, and in dire need of a housekeeper. And I need a job! So lucky!”

She ate all the food from all the plates, even though it had become cold and was pretty gross and there were ants in it, drank everything liquid she could see, and then passed out in a food coma on the nearest bed.

A few hours later, the seven dwarves who owned the hut came back. They saw that someone had eaten all their food and then found Snow White in one of their beds, which, being made for a much shorter being, had promptly broken under her weight.

“I hate humans so much” said the dwarf who would have to sleep on the floor that night.

---

A month later, Snow White and the dwarves had become friends.

Snow White cooked and cleaned. The dwarves made money robbing people who passed through the forest. Since they always paid their taxes on time and had bribed local law enforcement, they never got in trouble, and if anyone else became suspicious, they pretended to be mine workers, which everyone believed because they were dwarves and ethnic stereotyping wasn’t wrong yet. In the evening, Snow White sometimes took on her elfvampire-werewolf form and the dwarves cheered. All was well.

But back in the castle, the queen was bored.

“Would be awesome if I had friends... oh well. I guess I’ll talk to my mirror, it’s the prettiest object I know.”

She went over to the mirror and said:

“Oh you beautiful mirror who has eyes like coals and lips like cherries and...” and she described her own body with the wildest exaggerated praise. After 10 minutes of this, the mirror had enough and said:

“Lol whut? You look like a dog who has jumped into a bee hive. Snow White is a HOUNDred times prettier than you.” It giggled at its own lame pun.

The queen was furious and wanted to destroy the mirror, but she still saw her own face in it and couldn’t bear hitting something so beautiful. So she decided instead to murder Snow White, whom she now knew to be alive. She wasn’t aware that her stepdaughter was an elfvampire-werewolf.

---

One day soon after this, Snow White was home alone. The dwarves had said something about a local kindergarten being “too well-equipped” and how the children there were “deprived of the character growth that comes from material hardship” and how they were going to “bless the little brats with the working class experience.” Snow White, who didn’t give two shits, or even one really, about children, had nodded and smiled and not listened, until the dwarves had left.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door. Snow White opened and saw her step mother, who wore a cheap white wig and had, without much skill, tried to paint wrinkles on her face with eyeliner. While Snow White still stared incredulously at this undignified display, the queen started speaking.

“Hello young lady! I’m selling girdles. Do you want to buy this beautiful girdle for 847569587698374593 gold coins?” “I don’t have 847569587698374593 gold coins,” said Snow White. “Oh. Okay, well then I will you this cheap ugly girdle for free. Don’t worry about paying me...” said the queen -- she took a girdle from her bag and wrapped it around Snow White’s body -- “...you can pay with your LIFE!” and she pulled the girdle tight in an attempt to murder Snow White. Snow White laughed so much that she passed out.

The queen had never seen an unconscious person. She was convinced that Snow White was dead, and cheered. “HAHAHA! WHO’S A HUNDRED TIMES PRETTIER THAN ME NOW HUH?” “A pitbull?” asked Snow White, who had half awoken from all the yelling, but the queen was still cheering ecstatically and didn’t notice. She laughed some more, urinated on Snow White’s body, and left.

“My father has the worst taste in women,” sighed Snow White.

---

When the queen arrived in her castle, she had to speak to the mirror right away.

“Hey you beautiful mirror! Who’s the prettiest now, huh? Certainly not Snow White, who will be all pale and dead and ivory-like, all goth with her black hair and eerily peaceful dead f... fa... FUCK! She’ll look even better dead than alive! I have to bring her back to life!”

She took her zombie control wand and left in a hurry.

“SHE’S NOT DEAD YOU MORON” the mirror yelled after her, but once again she did not hear.

---

The queen was back at Snow White’s hut and kicked the door in. When she entered the hut, seven dwarves stared at her.

“Good evening, strange old woman who can destroy doors... we, who also like to destroy other people’s belongings, respect and welcome you.” And they bowed to her. But the queen was too used to veneration to care much.

“WHERE IS SNOW WHITE?” yelled the queen.

“She’s in her room,” said a dwarf, who did not find this question, nor its tone, concerning. The queen rushed into the room the dwarf vaguely gestured toward and pointed her zombie control wand at Snow White, who was sleeping.

“I HATE DWARVES THEY ARE SO GAY -- ZOMBIE AWAKEN, DO AS I SAY!”

This was her zombie control spell. It always worked. On dead people at least. However Snow White was very much alive, but so tired from laughing her ass off for hours recreating her earlier encounter with the queen and her shitty-ass girdle again and again, first for her own amusement, then for her friends, that she slept soundly and did not wake up despite the queen’s homophobic, dwarfphobic spell.

The dwarves however had heard the spell loud and clear and the queen suddenly noticed fourteen hands lifting her off the ground.

---

This time, the queen needed a longer time to get home. Her body hurt from being thrown out of the hut, maybe at a higher angle than had been strictly necessary, by the dwarves. But even though she was limping, she was also glad. Her plan had worked. Snow White was a zombie, zombies weren’t known for looking pretty (at least not in the long run), and also she had complete control over her undead servant. She would return to the hut when the dwarves were at work. And when her, the queen’s, bruises had healed.

---

A week later, the queen felt much better. She took her wand and once again made her way to Snow White’s hut. Snow White was working in the garden when she arrived.

“Hello little zombie!” called the queen. Snow White raised her head. Her stepmother, who had tried to kill her twice, who had insulted all her friends with her magic rhyme, and who still wore that terrible wig, was standing at the garden fence holding a big plank with a nail in one end. And she was calling her a zombie.

“Your beauty is meaningless now!” laughed the queen. “You are my slave! My sexy, sexy slave!”

“I will lay a pizza if you touch me.” said Snow White. “But thanks for saying that I’m sexier than you. Epic selfpwnage.”

The queen was shocked to realize that she couldn’t control Snow White and her old murderous impulses came back. Her only thought was: “You kill a zombie by destroying its head.” and she pulled a decorative comb from her cheap-ass wig, ran toward Snow White, embedded the comb deep in her skull and pushed her into the rain barrell where Snow White had prepared stinging nettle slurry for her plants.

---

“That comb sits pretty deep in her head.” said one of the dwarves. “Yes,” said another, “good thing she’s an fairyvampire-werewolf.” “I think I’ll just leave it in,” said Snow White, “looks kinda badass. Also I am NOT a FAIRY, I’m an ELF. Fairies are weak little pussies that only babies care about. And they wear stupid pink dresses! I hate fairies!” “Wow okay.” said one of the dwarves. “Some of my best friends are fairies. This is pretty offensive.” “Pffff hahaha!” laughed Snow White. “You have fairies as friends? How stupid! Only an idiot would have stupid fairies as friends!” “My ex-wife is a fairy,” said another dwarf heatedly, “and she cooks better than you!” “I’ll gladly cook your dumb ex-wife if you like her so much!” laughed Snow White.

The dwarves looked at each other. They wanted to torture Snow White to death, but she was a powerful monster and they knew they couldn’t take her. Also she washed their dirty hats and her food was sometimes okay. They decided not to attack, but if the queen, whom they hated, and Snow White, who was also a bigot, killed each other, they wouldn’t be sad. They wouldn’t intervene on either one’s behalf.

Snow White was still laughing.

“And their stupid little wings! Fairies are really like the dumbest shit-eating flies ever. Ha!”

Humans were just so inherently hateable, thought the dwarf whose bed Snow White had destroyed once more.

---

“Snow White is still alive,” said the mirror before the queen could start on one of her ego-trips again. “I don’t want to hear your self-praise today. Snow White lives, good night.”

---

“She is like the dumbest shit-eating fly ever...” murmured the queen on her throne. “She’s just like an annoying stupid little fly who won’t leave. Or like a mosquito that won’t let me sleep. Like a fairy! God I hate fairies!”

She took a walk in the forest and ate an apple while she ranted to herself about Snow White some more.

“How many times do I have to kill her? Each one of my genius plans has failed! Normally when I kill someone, they stay dead!”

Suddenly, she saw Snow White, who was collecting mushrooms, and she became furious.

“HEY SNOW WHITE!” the queen screamed and Snow White turned around.

“DIE ALREADY YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!” yelled the queen and yote the apple at Snow White’s head. The queen didn’t know that all vampires are allergic to apples because they hate Twilight so much and Twilight has an apple on its cover. When the apple hit Snow White’s forehead, she died immediately and with great pain.

But the queen didn’t know about the apple thing, she didn’t even know that Snow White was a vampire.

“STOP MOCKING ME BY PLAYING DEAD!” yelled the queen and kicked Snow White’s corpse repeatedly. “I KNOW YOU’RE NOT DEAD, IT WOULD BE SO STUPID IF YOU RANDOMLY DIED FROM AN APPLE! GET UP! YOU ARE LAUGHING IN YOUR THOUGHTS I KNOW IT!”

She kept kicking the corpse, but after a few minutes she was out of breath and decided to call it a day.

“You’re not dead, but you will wish you were,” she said to the corpse and angrily returned to her castle, where her mirror informed her of Snow White’s demise and proceeded to tell her about a particularly well-shaped potato that was, in its opinion, also prettier than her. All the mouthy mirror saw after that was two hands, the outer walls of a castle (with motion blur), the rapidly approaching ground, and then nothing.

---

A few days later, the dwarves noticed that no one had taken care of the household.

“Where is that rude vampire werewolf ogre or whatever? I’m hungry.” said one dwarf.

They went to look for her and found her in the forest, dead, a bitten apple next to her.

“Wow.” said a dwarf. “The queen must have found a way to poison apples and make them deadly even for elfvampire-werewolves.”

“Good for her,” said another dwarf, “and for us.”

“And for the fairies.” said a third dwarf. “Especially for the fairies.”

Then they built a glass coffin for her, so that everyone could see how dead she was, and they put up a sign next to it:

“DON’T FUCK WITH FAIRIES. TALK SHIT: GET KILLED!”

---

“Should we drive a stake through Snow White’s heart? You know, because she’s a vampire and all?” “Pff no. She’s dead. Double dead! What’s the worst that could happen?”

---

The worst that could happen was, in this case, a man. Prince Moneypocket from a nearby kingdom was rich, handsome, and even dumber than the other characters in this story. His dog took him for walks. He passed out if he tried to walk and breathe at the same time. His horse had two signs on it that said “front” and “back”, which he found very helpful.

When he found Snow White’s coffin in the forest only a few days after the dwarves had built it, he cast a cursory glance at the sign that talked about fairies, only understood the words “fuck” and “shit”, found this very funny, and decided to take the weird corpse and the hilarious sign with him to his castle so he could laugh about it every day.

His servants had to carry the coffin while he rode on his horse. The servants thought this was fucking BULLSHIT and ““““accidentally”““” dropped the heavy coffin. Now that Snow White’s corpse lay between glittering glass shards, the prince noticed how conventionally attractive she was.

“But she is as beautiful as a fairy!” he blurted out.

This grave insult had such a powerful effect on Snow White’s spirit that it returned from the afterlife, her body came back to life, and she ate the prince and his servants, and the dwarves, and the queen and the useless king who hadn’t helped her, and then she lived in the forest and later she joined a troll commune and they killed people together.

THE END

[whoreshijima]

Ellie 💓💓💓 again congrats on the 250! You deserve every one of them 🤧🤧 I’m in desperate need of Iwaizumi + coming home (bonus points of its time skip, EXTRA BONUS if he’s been gone for like a week or so, like longer-ish) also pls SFW bc I’m tired and my brain and heart are tired as well and I don’t think I can handle smut rn hahahaha okay byeeee love u I hope u have a great day! ✨

YES OF COURSE YOU CAN BABY (also I found it so funny that you forgot to tag yourself you silly billy @goldenhour-goldenboy 😂🥺) thank you for being so supportive, I don’t interact much so Imma work on that I promise! One sleepy and fluffy iwa piece coming up!

You loved your Iwaizumi, loved the way he worked so hard at his job and cared for the people he trained, especially the team. They were you second family and it was so heart warming to see him work so hard for the men he believed so much in. As much as it warmed you heart and soul, he was away a lot, bringing your own heart and soul crashing to the floor some nights when you’re laying alone in the bed, where your Iwa should be. Hoodies and blankets could never live up to the warmth he provides when he pulls you close to his chest. 

This time, your Iwa had been away for nearly two weeks on a training camp with the National team, you knew it was essential but it drained you. Tonight was finally the night where he comes through the door and melts in your arms. Holding back your excitement, your order in his favourite takeout food, selecting all his favourite films and obtaining all the snacks that you know he loves to have on his cheat days. Cuddling up on the couch in Hajimes jumper you eagerly wait for his voice to ring through the apartment you shared. 

Hours have ticked by, the food cold and waiting on the side, you’ve eaten half of the snacks that were set aside for your movie night. Ding! Your phone tells you that you’ve got a text ‘The planes just only landed, sweetheart. I’ll be an hour, maximum. Love you’ You sigh as you take the snacks to the kitchen and turning off the TV. You decide that the movie night could wait, settling back on the couch you curl up under a blanket and wait for your Iwa. 

“Hey Baby..” Izaizumi is home, calling out through the apartment as he drops his bags in the threshold of your little home. No reply. Sliding his shoes off he wanders through the house, frowning at all the lights turned off. Plodding into the lounge, his frown curls up into a small grin at the sight of you asleep on the couch. He can tell you’ve tried really hard to stay awake and places a small kiss to your forehead, teasing you awake “Sweetheart, lets get you to bed hm?” He chuckles when your eyes snap open, dazed with sleep and pure love for your boyfriend. “Iwa...” you whisper. Your Iwa was home. 

Suddenly his big arms were wrapped around you, holding you close to his chest as you wrap your legs around his waist, nuzzling his neck. He smelt like planes and sweat and cheap body wash. He still smelt like home, the scent making you feel safe and protected. You suddenly feel the mattress pressing into your back and soft pillows under your head. The dip in the mattress next to you is a feeling you love, knowing that in less than three seconds, your head will bury itself in your Iwa’s strong chest, soft skin pressing to your cheek. “missed you” is what you hear as a whisper from Hajimes mouth “I’m so glad you’re home” is all you can muster out without tears spilling from your eyes. 

As much as Iwaizumi would love to sleep, he can’t help but look into your eyes and talk about everything and anything. He missed you so much, telling you about how the boys trained so hard, how they all asked about you and how they can’t wait to be his best men at your wedding. He scrolls through his camera roll, showing you all the pretty sights he saw on his jogs each morning, the dog that lived at local cafe... before he knew it, you were snoring gently on his shoulder. He blushes gently and pulls you in closer “sleep well, baby” he whispers and shuts his own eyes. He has his whole lifetime to tell you stories, right now he just wants to hold you. 

I hope this is okay! All I want is Iwa to hold me 🥺🥺 thank your for requesting baby 🤍

SEND ME A CHARACTER, A SITUATION AND IF YOU WANT IT NSFW OR SFW AND ILL WRITE YA A LIL SUMMIN

[shinymooncolor]

For my fellow Sweater Weather fans ❤️ @lumosinlove - thank you!

Kudos to @frombeauxbatons for helping me with Finnish.

@wxlfstxrx and @siriuslyqueer love youuu 💕

Sweater weather chats #10

The team goes to Vegas. Kris gets a new phone. Olli speaks Finnish. Remus and Sirius are in their honeymoon phase. The team dads ship it. Kasey gets cuddles. Logan gets lost. Leo is mad. Everyone bets on Sergei. Dumo is not a fan of Russian cheering during sex. Will we ever find out about Prague?

Wednesday 9.22 pm

Eliascookie: eyyy fucking love wifi in the air. 🤪

Dumodad: shhh someone is trying to nap and you guys are loud 🥴

Logantremblayzzz: sorry grandpa. Not all of us are old and cranky.

Sergei_81: careful I fight people for you

CarbO’Hara: and we love you dearly for that. But no denying you and dumo are old and cranky. You could literally both be Leo’s dads

Ollibear: he looks more like sunny and sergei’s baby than dumo’s

Blizzard: ohhh a love triangle 🙊😳

Sunnysideup: as much as I love sergei, I wouldn’t get between him and dumo. They’re the bromance of our gen :) also not my type

Kaneyoudigit: yeah. Where does that butt slap come from anyways? Even when one of them is out or injured they find time for that 👻

Bradygunz: I don’t think anyone understands it... where does it come from? Something about Prague - Allison was super cagey about it.

Dumodad: shhhh let us sleep. Night boys. Got another few hours and practice tomorrow is not optional. Sleep.

Nadotheman: VEGAS BABY

Krisvolley: practice and a game Nado.

RussianGod: DONT be boring krissy

——

Friday 12.33 pm

Remus created a group chat

Remus added Dumo, Sirius, Sergei, Sunny and Krissy

Remus named group chat HELP

Remus: okay boys. Sorry for this but I’m a little worried. We’re in Vegas and with a whole day of no games and only practice tomorrow once we touch down in LA, I can’t keep an eye on the entire team.

Dumo: haha dont worry go have a nice date with cap. God knows he’s cranky enough that you were away for that course for three days.

Sunny: don’t worry I sleep with ear plugs anyways 😜

Remus: hey we have separate rooms!

Krissy: wE hAvE sEpErAtE rOoMs....... it’s ok remmy 😉 cap plays better after you do whatever it is you do.

Sirius: alright stop. I wasn’t cranky. And leave Remus alone. You’re supposed to be the mature ones. Also Krissy?

Krissy: yes. I got a new iPhone and made the mistake of asking timmers and Olli to help me set it up on the plane. Now I can’t get it to change back. They set it to Finnish. Have no fucking clue and haven’t managed to get hold of Olli yet. 😳😳😳😳

Sergei: cap and re go enjoy honeymoon we take care of babies

Sunny: 😜😜😜😜😜 enjoy it while it lasts. Before you know it’s chores, babies and using alone time to catch up on sleep

Dumo: yeah. Don’t take your blissful kid free life for granted. 😈

Krissy: didn’t Logan and the other two walk in on your guys doing it in the kitchen last month?

Dumo: so?

Sergei: haha just kitchen? I’ve caught them worse. Is ok. You understand when you have babies. 😆

Krissy: I have a baby. I’m just single 😫😫😫

Sunny: want us to find a girl for you?🤓

Krissy: no thank you. Leave my sex life alone.

Sergei: u even have one?

Krissy left the group chat

Dumo added krissy to the group chat

Dumo: Sergei is sorry......... also he walked in on us maybe 5 times calm down. There’s nothing like Russian cheering to kill a mood....

Sunny: 5? That can’t be right. You were bunnies when she was pregnant last. I saw things I cannot unsee 🤯🤯🤯

Sirius left the group chat

Remus: you broke Sirius. Anyways I’ll leave the babysitting to you guys then.

Sunny: HAVE FUN REMUS 🥳🥳

——

Friday 2.54 pm

Logantremblayzzz: guys I’m lost. I’ve been walking towards that big pointy thing and the map from the hotel is crap and I got away from finn and he’s not picking up

*picture of map*

Blizzard: Logan.

Blizzard: THATS A MAP OF PITTSBURGH. WE’RE IN VEGAS. ALSO ITS UPSIDE DOWN.

Blizzard: how the fuck have you lived to see 23? 😆

Logantremblayzzz: oh. That makes more sense. 🙈🙈🙈

Newt-leo: what do you mean you lost Finn? Are you both lost somewhere in Vegas? Just use your phone and get back to the hotel...

Blizzard: Finn left his phone here in the room😂😂😂 better send out a search party

Logantremblayzzz: well I don’t know what happened. I can’t find him now. 😭

LeWilliam: There’s literally one strip of road in Vegas and you’ve gotten lost. 🐸

Dumodad: I swear to the fucking hockey gods we were never this stupid. Idiots. Get back here for 5, and we can go have a team dinner for those who want. Sergei is buying

Evanderbell: ohh @tylerthemighty and I are in!! Thanks @sergei_81!!!

Sunnysideup: he’s sleeping? Hahahah he’s gonna be unhappyyyy 😂

RussianGod: hehe thanks we’re play too...

Nadotheman: he means game. But yeah. Free dinner 😎

Prongstar: I think this one @logantremblayzzz has to go into the promo videos hahahahah 😂😂😂 I’m telling Marlene.... 😘

Ollibear: is anyone looking for Finn?

Newt-leo: yeah me and @krisvolley are going out now

——-

Friday 3.44 pm

CarbO’Hara: THANKS FOR DITCHING ME LOGAN

Logantremblayzzz: I was lost too! Not my fault you wander about

CarbO’Hara: I was talking to a puppy and when I got back up you were gone 😔 didn’t have my phone. Had to ask two Cher’s and an Elvis how to get back. 😫

Newt-leo: you’re back at the hotel now?

CarbO’Hara: yes. Forgot my phone.

Newt-leo: WELL THATS FUCKING GREAT. 😡

Walkietalkie: uhhh someone is in the dog house 😂😂😂

Nadotheman: bad fish... no goalie love for youuu

Blizzard: I can cuddle ya Finn. No worries. 😘😫😘

Logantremblayzzz: you’re not cuddling Finn. Go cuddle Nado if you need to.

RussianGod: come on blizzard. We do goalie sandwich 🥪🥪🥪🥪

Blizzard: gimme five minutes boysss 😍

Krisvolley: we’re heading back now. You’re paying for our cab Finn. Leo is really mad 😉

Friday 3.52 pm

Timmyforrealz: awww 😍

*nado and Kuny cuddling blizzard in a goalie sandwich*

Ollibear: there’s a lot of bromance in my room right now. 😂

Walkietalkie: at least they’re fully clothed. 🤞🏻

——

Friday 6.33 pm

Sergei_81: IM NOT PAYING FOR YOU All

Dumodad: yes you are. It’s your turn. 😘

Sunnysideup: u know it. It’s the deal. Shouldn’t bet if you can’t pay up.

Sergei_81: is thanks I get for fighting for you all.

Sirius: you keep bringing that up. But you love fighting for us. We love you for it 😜

Dumodad: haha cap’s got a point my friend. And you’re a glorious fighter. Haha your punches are feared through the league. Even the linesmen try to avoid getting between you and your victim

Nadotheman: you know there’s a bet in the league? First rookie to take you down gets a Rolex from a draw? Everyone chips in at draft? 😜

RussianGod: is true hehehe I put money in on never so I want watch

KrisVolley: was that an option? 😳 how did I not think of this

RussianGod: I’m smart just not in English. English stupid. Russian best 🥳

—-

Friday 9.33 pm

Ollibear: Mä oon niin ilonen mut mulla on ikävä kotiin. Mulla on ikävä muumeja.

Ollibear: Ja mun äitiä.

Ollibear: Tykkään myös tosi paljon pannukakuista.

Prongstar: Olli.exe stopped working…….

Sunnysideup: eh anyone’s got an eye on Olli? He’s defaulted to Finnish… 🙊🙊🙊

Dumodad: @timmyforrealzzz @nadotheman @russiangod

Dumodad: WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO NOW

KrisVolley: hahahaha Olli just had some shots. The waitress was making googly eyes at him and I guess he couldn’t say no 😆

Timmyforrealz: I think we should get him back to the hotel 😁😁😁

Nadotheman: not it!!!!

RussianGod: I got him. He dont walk

——-

“Kuny, he can’t even walk”

“I’m got him. He very drunk. Hehe not hold liquor well for Finn. Is embarrassing” Kuny snorted and hoisted his teammate more firmly over his shoulder.

“He owes me $100 for bribing the driver to take us”

“Sä oot hyvä venäläinen. Et ilkee venäläinen. Tunnen pahoja ja ilkeitä venäläisiä.”

“Any idea what he’s saying?”

“Not sure is even Finnish. Sound like just words”

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Idle Chat with Kiro

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a feature which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

The CN server was recently graced with a new feature called 随便聊聊 (“Idle Chat”), where you can select a mood and talk to the love interests about work, life, and studies :>

Idle Chat with: Gavin / Lucien / Shaw / Victor

[ WORK - Topic 1: Overtime ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: We can visit that dessert shop today! Because I. Don’t! Have! To! Work! Overtime!

Kiro: Although we’re separated by the screen, I can sense Miss Chip’s happiness~

Kiro: Since this is the case, our challenge today will be to--

Kiro: Wipe! The! Dessert! Shop! Clean!

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Went to work feeling muddle-headed today, which left me with a stack of incomplete work. Sigh, I might have to work overtime today.

Kiro: Did you spend too much time watching dramas last night?

Kiro: Next time, you have to stick to a regular sleeping timing.

Kiro: Also, isn’t the male lead by your side?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: The market hasn’t been good lately, so the income I received has also gone down. I feel like I’ve left everyone down...

Kiro: Back then, MC went through such difficult times.

Kiro: I think these little twists and turns don’t account for much!

Kiro: Because you’re always producing miracles!

-

[ WORK - Topic 2: Income ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I’ve received my pay~ I even have a bonus this month! Aren’t I incredible?

Kiro: As expected of Miss Chips!

Kiro: As a reward, I’ll give you a present.

Kiro: Want to know what it is?

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I have no idea why, but I haven’t been interested in anything I do. Could it be because it’s a long time till payday?

Kiro: Mm... want to consider changing occupations and becoming my assistant?

Kiro: You’ll be paid daily.

Kiro: Also, there will be an additional, exclusive Kiro hug every day.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Working overtime again and again and again and again! There’s even a rainstorm outside! The most enraging thing is that I didn’t bring an umbrella!

Kiro: I checked the weather forecast beforehand

Kiro: So I knew there’d be a rainstorm

Kiro: Give me five minutes - I’ll be there soon!

-

[ WORK - Topic 3: Program Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Do you still remember the collaborative program I mentioned before? We plan to invite a mystery guest. Want to guess who he is?

Kiro: I’m guessing he is -- Kiro!

Kiro: If Miss Chips doesn’t invite me,

Kiro: I’ll be very hurt.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: The reaction from the other party regarding this collaborative program seems bland. Actually, I also find the content a little boring. I have no inspiration at all...

Kiro: In my eyes, everything Miss Chips does is very interesting.

Kiro: But if you really have no inspiration,

Kiro: Need me to help you grab it back?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I’ve already made over thirty amendments to the proposal for this collaborative program. What more does the other party want?! What do they mean by a “vibrant black”??

Kiro: Oo... a vibrant black...

Kiro: It does sound like a difficult operation.

Kiro: Maybe it’s the same thing as how Apple Box’s jet-black eyes are bright even at night?

-

[ WORK - Topic 4: Program Results ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The program I’ve been working on for months has finally gotten approved! If I were to continue doing it, I’d probably have gone bald... Should I place an order for hair-growth shampoo?

Kiro: Instead of hair-growth shampoo, I think what you need more is sufficient sleep.

Kiro: Or a limited-edition Kiro hug?

Kiro: I’ll decide on both of them on your behalf~

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: My daily self-reflection -- Has the program been approved? Not yet :(

Kiro: My daily self-reflection -- Do I think about Miss Chips?

Kiro: Always. 

Kiro: Miss Chips, do your best!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Good news. The program I’ve been painstakingly working on for several months has been rejected. :)

Kiro: Whenever my albums get delayed, I’ll take Apple Box out for a walk.

Kiro: Since Apple Box doesn’t have a slot recently,

Kiro: Why don’t I take you out for a walk instead?

🌻

[ LIFE - Topic 1: Losing Weight ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I've reached my ideal weight! I’m really happy~ I can finally toss away the salad that even Apple Box dislikes.

Kiro: Although I didn’t think you were fat before,

Kiro: What’s most important is that Miss Chips is happy!

Kiro: P.S. You’ve stopped eating snacks recently - Apple Box and I are both very upset.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: A sincere question - If your weight remained the same after dieting and exercising for a week, would you choose to feast ferociously on crayfish or barbecue? 

Kiro: Since your weight is so disobedient,

Kiro: Let’s punish it fiercely!

Kiro: Why don’t we have barbecue along with crayfish!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Why is it that every time I indulge in extravagant eating and drinking, I always scroll to a page showing models with incredible figures?! I’m once again putting up a flag to lose weight!!

Kiro: Promise me that you won’t go on a diet to lose weight.

Kiro: Effective exercise and a reasonable work-life balance is the correct way to do it.

Kiro: But will our weekly dessert day continue?

-

[ LIFE - Topic 2: Meals ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Burp-- I had a buffet this afternoon, and I’m so full now. Let me secretly tell you that I had to support myself on the wall to get out.

Kiro: Hahaha, I’m also the same after a photoshoot,

Kiro: Wanting to stuff myself to the brim.

Kiro: Next time, let’s compete to see who is the true buffet killer!

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’ve entered a special bottleneck period - What should I have for lunch? What should I have for dinner?

Kiro: Mm... this is indeed a big problem which frequently stumps me.

Kiro: Want to watch a documentary on delicacies?

Kiro: You might be able to find some “inspiration” on what to eat.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I was seized by a whim and did some cooking. When I changed the seasoning just slightly, I ended up creating a mysterious, indescribable taste...

Kiro: Mm... has your cooking magic lost its touch temporarily?

Kiro: That’s all right 

Kiro: Tomorrow, we’ll try again together. 

-

[ LIFE - Topic 3: Reading ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I came across a picture book today, and readers can use their fingers to make a dot in the book grow bigger or smaller~ It’s very adorable!

Kiro: I really wish Miss Chips were that little dot.

Kiro: That way, I can make you really tiny

Kiro: And store you in my pocket. 

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: There’s a book wasteland... Why can’t I find a single good book...

Kiro: Someone said that the most interesting book is a person’s life.

Kiro: Could the reason you’re unable to find a good book

Kiro: Be because your life is already very interesting?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I’ve been keeping up with a web series, but the author said that he decided to go on a hiatus today after receiving negative comments. My spiritual nourishment is gone...

Kiro: Negative comments truly make people upset

Kiro: Want to leave an encouraging comment to the author?

Kiro: Tell him that there are many readers who like his work!

-

[ LIFE - Topic 4: Games ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Ding-- Dear respected customer, your gaming partner has found another interesting game. If you wish to know the name of the game, kindly reply with a ‘1′

Kiro: Rejected.

Kiro: Hahahaha, I’m just teasing you.

Kiro: 11111!

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Help... I’m stuck at the fifth stage of this riddle game. What do I have to do so the squirrel would release its hold on the key?

Kiro: There’s actually such a mean squirrel?

Kiro: Let me handle it!

Kiro: If it doesn’t work, I’ll let Cello catch it!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: My hand slipped when I was playing a game today, causing the entire game to restart :) Don’t stop me - I’m going to chop off this troublemaking hand!!

Kiro: An urgent appeal to spare your hand!

Kiro: Think on the positive side,

Kiro: We now have another thing we can complete together~

🌻

[ SCHOOL - Topic 1: Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I've prepared a studying schedule, and am filled with confidence for this new life of studying! Kiro, please supervise me from time to time!

Kiro: Understood! 

Kiro: If you get lazy--

Kiro: Heheh, there’ll be punishment. 

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’ve been staring at my book for an hour in a daze. Why do I understand the words in isolation, but not when they are strung together?

Kiro: Mm... from a certain perspective, isn’t knowledge a series of code?

Kiro: Read them as though you’re playing a riddle game. 

Kiro: Perhaps you’ll find a way to pass the stage!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Why does my brain function so slowly the moment I start studying? Isn’t it very amazing when I play games?!

Kiro: I’d like to correct two mistakes Miss Chips made--

Kiro: Number One, whenever you get stuck in a game, you’d let me take over;

Kiro: Number Two, your brain isn’t functioning slowly. It’s just time to take a break.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 2: Homework ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Because I remembered the reward you mentioned, I finished my homework really quickly today! What’s the reward, what’s the reward?

Kiro: I already said that you could definitely do it!

Kiro: As for the reward,

Kiro: Come closer, and I’ll tell you.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Whenever I do homework, it seems that aside from the homework, I become curious about everything else. Oh yes, do you think a dog sees itself as a dog?

Kiro: Miss Chips, concentrate!

Kiro: But for your question, I’ve asked Apple Box about it

Kiro: It responded and said...

Kiro: Bark!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: A sincere question - can homework be done in stages? I really can’t finish it ahhh!

Kiro: Take your time, I’ll accompany you.

Kiro: Although I don’t know if homework can be done in stages,

Kiro: But my care for you is a fixed asset.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 3: Pre-exam Revision ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The exam is coming up soon. It’s a good thing you supervised me and ensured that I studied seriously. The scope of the exam was also very clearly detailed by the teacher!

Kiro: I think you forgot the most important thing--

Kiro: Miss Chips’ own diligence and hard work.

Kiro: Miss Chips, all the best for your exam!

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Memorising the examinable points is really difficult. It feels as though the moment I memorise a sentence, I forget the earlier one. How do you memorise the lines in your script?

Kiro: I have my exclusive Kiro memorisation technique of course!

Kiro: It’s exceptionally effective!

Kiro: If you want know about it, bring a bag of chips over to me~

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: When the teacher was pointing out the important segments, he said the first three chapters are the foundation, the following three chapters are important, and the final three chapters are examinable. Doesn’t this mean I have to revise the entire book!

Kiro: It takes a long time to revise the entire book.

Kiro: Do you need a Kiro exam buddy?

Kiro: It comes with a massage, milk tea delivery, and hugs.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 4: Post-exam celebration ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The exam is over~ After comparing answers, there doesn’t seem to be any big issues! Kiro, who supervised me in my revision, is the best!

Kiro: Congratulations Miss Chips!

Kiro: Since I’ve rendered outstanding service, as a reward,

Kiro: Give all your post-examination resting time to me~

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: The exam is finally over... I actually don’t feel very happy... Could it be because the final question was simply incomprehensible? 

Kiro: Hasn’t Miss Chips been looking forward to this day for a very long time?

Kiro: In that case, I have to find a way to cheer you up.

Kiro: Let’s laze on the sofa and watch your favourite movie. How’s that?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I messed it up... I gave up on the last two questions... I think I’ve definitely messed it up...

Kiro: Maybe all the questions in front were correct!

Kiro: Also, one exam doesn’t mean much

Kiro: You’ll always be the smartest Miss Chips in my heart!

[creepweirdo]

hiiii omg sorry that this is late sfjghldjhfgksfjh

THANK YOU FOR THE TAG ❤️❤️❤️ i was tagged by @rosemarymp3 to do this tag game !!

rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

favourite colour: ahhh its so hard to pick. my favourite colours on tumblr tend to be red and black. but irl i just got a new phone case which is the classic pink and red powderpuff girls heart wave thingy and im so obsessed i just keep looking at it ksjfhlkjhg

currently reading: the ranger’s apprentice series by john flanagan! omg its so good. im rereading for the first time since i was 11 hahahah 🥰 its such a good story - im up to the fourth book !!! although i haven’t read it in a couple of days bc im reading fanfic 🤚

last song: lmfao idk what’s wrong with me ive just been listening to fall out boy on repeat - i was just watching a bass cover of grand theft autumn bc i used to know how to play it 😩

last movie: LMFAOOOOO reservoir dogs 💀🤚🤚🤚 again idk what’s wrong with me

last series: OOOOOO cruel summer !!! it was really good and insane oh my god 😌 

sweet, spicy, or savoury: oooo i really like savoury/spicy - i could go for them at ANY hour of the day dkjfgalhf i have to be in the mood for sweet food hahahaha

craving: LMFAO i swear im always craving hot chips 💀🤚🤚🤚 like maybe even chicken shop chips omg 😭😭😭 

coffee or tea: i like both !! i have iced coffee wayyyy more than i have tea kjfyhkfh lmao i sort of forget that i can just go into the kitchen and make it - after this im going to make a jasmine tea 🤪 

currently working on: im on uni break atm which is so good !!! but like tumblr wise kajlfhskjhdfjsd since like the start of the year ive had the idea to make a hannibal chun li video edit and im slowlyyyyyyy getting around to doing it. ive been so lazy about it bc i had to convert all my stupid files from .mkv to .m4v bc iMovie is a little bitch 😔 but that’s finally done so maybe ill get around to that ,,,,,,

thank you for tagging meeee ily ❤️❤️❤️❤️