#its just like. first of all its community college assignment second of all its just 'discuss why europeans tried to hide the history of

[bitegore]

i hate being assigned watching movies...

[marveling-cg]

As a teacher, the suit couldn't really have come at a better time.

When he'd graduated from college, he'd been surprised to see Principal Nezu in the crowd with All Might and Aizawa-sensei, and even more surprised to receive Principal Nezu's invitation to teach at UA - in the hero course no less!

They'd assigned him to the 2nd year hero course -- the 1st years, who were often still figuring out the limits of their quirks, needed teachers who might be able to physically intervene if something went wrong

His first year teaching, he'd spent just trying to get his feet under him: he borrowed a lot of the previous teacher's curriculum while he tried to get the hang of classroom management, and and grading, and parent contact, not to mention conducting practical exercises with his students while he was quirkless

But his second year he started making the curriculum his own: his strength had always been his analysis and he wanted his students to have that, too.

He started adding in case studies for each unit; invited his friends in to give talks about declassified or appropriately anonymized cases they'd worked on

By his third year, he'd gotten his unit plans down to a science: intro topic, host guest speaker, complete case study, hold class discussion, conduct practical exercise, students submit a reflection, test

His first unit of the year was always his favorite -- an intro to battle analysis. He'd never gotten Kacchan to commit to coming on campus, but if Deku sent him footage from a fight, Kacchan would send back a recording of his analysis

Once the kids got over the initial hilarity of Kacchan roasting the shit out of hero or villain or both, they usually asked Deku to play the video back a few more times so they could see just which errors Kacchan had caught, how quickly they could arise, how consequential they could be. It was a great way to get them open to Deku's whole approach to the class, and a good way for them to know that he would accept their work in their own voices -- no need to hide their personalities for points

The rest of the units -- meant to get his students ready to apply for their provisional licenses -- all followed suit.

And since most hero agencies had given new priority to community relations, he could schedule through his friends' offices to get them on campus: Tenya, Uraraka, Tsu, Momo, Shinso were especially reliable guests

And while the first half of the year was dedicated to the practicalities of being on the ground as a hero; the second half was dedicated to the heart of being a hero

They looked at rise of the League of Villains and Stain, talked about the plight of heteromorphs; he pulled in primary sources, they discussed their own personal credos (he liked to use Kacchan's and Hawks' as examples of how different and personal they could be while still leading to similar work), discussed the sociological and psychological impact of challenging quirks

All that to say, year four is the perfect time for the suit to fall into his lap.

He's got his professional shit together

And, though he's let himself shed some of the weight he needed to maintain One For All, he's kept himself in good condition

(High school students are so easily motivated by a little good natured teasing, "you really gonna let your quirkless teacher lap you?" has been a remarkably easy way to keep his kids going through tough conditioning work)

So, after he's managed to stop crying on All Might long enough to schedule a call with Hatsume to go over the specs; and stopped crying after that call long enough to process everything she's shared about its function, he realizes he's going to need to train before he can take this thing out in the field

The suit is incredible: a light exoskeleton that'll enhance his strength, 360 degree sensors that will pick up objects moving at certain speeds or sudden changes in air pressure, a light propulsion system that will allow him brief bursts of flight or slightly longer periods to hover, a chord system that he can use to pull himself forward or restrain villains, a diffuser that will set off a smoke screen

He spends another hour or so after the call with Hatsume to cry about how closely they've tried to recreate the capabilities of One For All

And then spends another four thinking about all of the manual controls he'll need to learn to replicate the skills he used to be able to call forth with a thought.

Thinks too about the kind of conditioning he'll need to do in order to not lose speed or an arm to the weight and propulsion of the suit

He remembers fondly a dirty beach half a lifetime ago; remembers, too, a forest trail where a quirkless All Might declared he'd change the future. Deku can do this.

And there's no better way to address the Kacchan of it all:

He'd tried calling Kacchan after All Might had dropped the news -- and been sent straight to voicemail three times in a row; received back a terse text: u r welcome nerd

Which told him Kacchan wasn't ready to deal -- with Deku's tears, or his gratitude, or with a conversation about how Kacchan had dedicated all of his professional career to funding Deku's dream -- as if all the long hours, and parties missed, and extra shifts covered, hadn't all been some sort of declaration of intent about the rest of their fucking lives

Which was fine. What was Deku going to say anyway?

"Was this a proposal, Kacchan? Because if so, my answer is yes."

That could wait. They had the rest of their fucking lives, apparently.

But in the meantime, Deku needed to train. He couldn't afford to rush this. Kacchan would be furious if Deku got himself hurt because he was being reckless.

So he headed over to the gym in Kacchan's building after work, just in time to catch Kacchan coming in for his biweekly workout.

"I've got a plan. I think I'm going to need to dedicate some attention to these particular muscle groups to protect from injury. I think I probably need to gain a little more muscle, too. Then, I want to start training in the suit. I'll need to get a feel for how it works as a whole in combat and rescue settings. But then I want to work on isolations. Can I trigger just this response as quickly as possible in various circumstances. What can I do or not if I've just got control of the arms or just the legs or just one limb. I've put together a timetable. I think, if you'll help me, I could be ready for field work without injuring myself by the end of this school year."

When Deku finally pauses and looks up from his notebook, Kacchan looks visibly relieved, shoulders down from his ears, that gleam in his eye that's signals amusement in spite of himself, the start of smile tucked into the corner of his mouth

Kacchan snatches the notebook from Deku's hands and looks over the charts. Deku barely grumbles at all at Kacchan's free hand tousling Deku's hair while he skims.

"Alright, dweeb, let's get started--"

[dabisqueen]

College Touya x fem!Reader

⇢ word count: roughly 11K

⇢ plot: getting into one of the most prestigious universities comes with a (literally) huge surprise

⇢ warnings: 18+, minors DNI, childhood friends to enemies to lovers, lots of dialogue, bantering and bickering, use of alcohol, Keigo is being a spoiled rich brat so he's not getting any ass but Tenko is finally getting his d*** wet and Touya as well, a bit of yelling, some kabedon action, steamy kissing, dry-humping, unprotected consensual sex, multiple orgasms, creampie

⇢ personal note: this was just another AU I was dreaming about. First time writing this kind of trope. Thanks to @/dreamy-collective for being my beta!

***

Moving away from home and starting your first year at a university was a challenging act on its own. So it was given that you were busy trying to adapt to the new college life, learning the campus layout, and establishing a daily routine. In other words– beginning to experience life as a university student.

But not only that. The university you had managed to get into was one of the most prestigious ones in the country and with the priciness of its tuition, you were glad to have landed several scholarships that needed extra effort.

Therefore, starting classes not only meant trying to cope with the pretty busy schedule change but also putting in your highest effort to keep your grades among the best. So you barely spent time socializing with people in the tight-knit community of the college campus. And a week into the semester, you still hadn't made any real friends yet, except for your roommate. 

Still, even though you didn't belong to the social circles on campus and you never cared for gossiping, certain rumors spread so far that even you heard them. About these three guys, all seniors belonging to the privileged elite of the university, stirring quite the fuss– especially the raven-haired and the blond one. 

It was the second week and your roommate and you were approaching the main entrance to your college building, ready to go to classes. But you stopped dead in your tracks, an all too familiar sight ahead of you. For a moment you questioned reality, having not seen him in almost a decade. 

"What's he doing here?" You asked, stunned. 

Of all places in the country you had to meet him here. Life has its shitty ways of fucking with you.

"Who?" Your roommate asked, her gaze following yours to some guys standing across the yard by the wall, smoking.

Staring straight ahead, you would've recognized him anywhere– hands lazily stuffed in the pockets of his dark ripped jeans, the usual bored expression on his face. That all too familiar mop of raven hair with bangs falling over his brows, those broad shoulders—

—and those incredibly piercing blue eyes that just now flicked up to look at you.

Shit, you tried to calm yourself, No need to panic. He won't recognize you after all these years.

But that hope was thrown out the door as quickly as it arose when he aimed a wickedly seductive grin right at you, his strikingly blue eyes continuing to observe you.

Damn, he knows.

"Ok, we gotta go. Now!" You swung around and swiveled around your roommate who struggled to catch up with you. "We're gonna take the back entrance."

"Hey, what was that just now?" She breathlessly asked.

"Nothing." You grumbled, reluctant to get as much distance between you and those mesmerizing blue eyes.

"Oh, don't you dare nothing me!" She took a few wider steps to catch up with you. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"You might be right about that," you muttered under your breath. "Let's go, we'll be late for classes."

***

A sound stirred you from your work assignment late at night. "You're not telling me something."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Looking up, you saw your roommate standing at the door of your bedroom.

She cocked an eyebrow, kicked off the door frame, and walked towards you.

"The raven-haired guy. This morning." She continued, "I saw him looking at you– and then you freaked out."

Oh no.

"It's Touya Todoroki." She stopped in front of you, placing her hands on her canted hips, "The hottest guy on campus, according to what I've heard."

"Don't know what you're talking about." You mumbled, the tips of your ears turning scarlet as you kept yourself busy counting the dust specs on the screen of your notebook.

"C'mon! I know you're hiding something," she sat down next to you, batting her pretty, long lashes at you. "You've got to tell me."

Inhaling deeply, you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to calm your tired and overworked nerves.

"Alright." You sighed. "But this stays between us ok?"

"Pinkie swear!" She beamed at you, offering her smallest finger and you locked it with yours.

"Touya and his buddies Tenko, and Keigo—we used to be childhood friends. We grew up together living in the same neighborhood." You pulled your hand back and tugged a few loose strands of hair behind your ear. "We also went to the same elementary school."

"Aw, that's so cool!" She giggled, urging you to continue. 

"Yeah, really sweet–" you huffed and looked straight at her. "Did you know he calls me Cheeks?"

"No—but that's adorable!" She smiled.

"You know what it stands for?" Cocking a brow you waited.

She shook her head.

"Buttcheeks." You inhaled deeply before continuing. "In second grade, he pulled my pants down in front of everyone - even the teachers. I was the laughingstock of the entire school for weeks."

"Oh sorry," Your roommate was visibly afflicted. "That's not so adorable."

You continued, picking up a few pieces of lint off your pants. "A year later, my parents and I had to move away to another state. That's when I saw him last."

"Mhhh, maybe he was a jerk back then," she pointed out, "But did you ever think about him having changed?"

"Nope. People like him don't change." You added bitterly. "I need to focus on my studies now, ok?"

"Yeah, sure." She sighed.

And with that, you ended the conversation, your roommate straightening up to return to her room and leaving you to finish your essay.

***

As you were leaving your classroom, you stopped dead in your tracks seeing Touya with Keigo and Tenko, leaning his back against the building wall, observing you, hands buried deep in the pocket of his pants. 

Touya just rocked the hottest-guy-on-campus look. Even though his frame was lean, he was well-toned, his body reeking of masculinity. He was wearing a plain black long-sleeve shirt, tight black pants, biker boots, and rings on his hand as well as piercings in his ear. 

But it wasn't just his physique. His presence alone took up space and dominated like nothing else and you had to take a few moments to catch your breath. A few moments that were over too quickly when he started to strut over into your direction, his eyes strikingly light blue.

You instantly turned to make an escape, but at that same moment a door to a lecture room opened and a crowd of students poured out, crushing your plans to get away.

"Well well well, if it ain't Cheeks," an arm slung around your neck. "Of all places, I've never expected to run into you here."

The subtle scent of expensive cologne surrounded you and his own scent, warm and masculine at the same time. He smelled amazing, and it left a feeling in you that you couldn’t place your finger on.

Shit.

"Fuck off, Touya…" you mumbled, a bit of color rising to your face.

"Why so rude?" He chuckled and leaned in closer. 

A group of students had stopped to watch the two of you talk, chattering behind raised hands.

"What are you doing here?" You tried to get away from him but his embrace was too tight. 

"Could ask you the same." He hummed back with a curious grin on his face.

"I'm enrolled in classes, duh." You remarked, trying to keep your tone flat.

"Heh, I'm a Senior." His free hand came to pinch your cheek.

"Did your dad bribe the University Board to get you in?" You looked sideways at him, shamefully breathless at his close proximity. 

His eyes seemed so captivating—more than they used to when he was a kid.

"Naah— got in here myself." He grinned, icy blue eyes flashing. "Excellent grades."

"Doubt it." You hissed at him.

"You're hurting my feelings, Cheeks." He gave you a light chuckle that you felt way too much in your chest.

Rolling your eyes at him, you finally managed to shrug his arm off as he loosened his hold on you—when you heard another voice closing in. "Hey, Touya, who's that Hottie here?"

It was Keigo, narrower and shorter in build than Touya, with windstrewn ash blond hair swept messily backward. He was blatantly showing off his wealth, wearing luxury label clothes, and sporting a huge Breitling aviator watch on his wrist. 

"Don't you recognize her?" Touya glanced at him over his shoulder.

The blonde looked at you with a slight arch in his eyebrow. Then his golden eyes lit up in surprise. "Shit, it's Cheeks!"

"Damn, it is," Tenko muttered, who just joined the three of you. With the long tangled hair and the simple, black hoodie pulled over his head, he seemed more innocent than the other two, which was a welcoming change. The only thing giving him away was the rather geeky expensive Devon Star Wars watch at his wrist.

His cheeks reddened behind his pale bangs when your eyes met and he muttered a shy, "H-Hi Cheeks…" before averting his gaze, awkwardly scratching his nape with his fingers.

Keigo however, stepped even closer, his golden brown eyes mustering you as he leaned in, flirtatiously. "So—you got a boyfriend?"

"Nice move, but– no." You groaned. "Not interested in one as well."

Just as Keigo was about to say something Tenko interrupted, looking at his watch. "Guys, we need to go now if we wanna get to class in time." 

"Yeah, we're coming." Touya looked at you with an amused glint in his azure eyes before turning to leave.

"See ya, Cheeks." He waved goodbye as they strolled off.

You couldn't help but follow him with your eyes, when suddenly Touya stopped to toss you a look over his shoulder, grinning when he caught you staring, before continuing on his path.

Shit, you felt your cheeks burn. Shit, shit, shit.

Your roommate, who had stood off to the side unbeknownst to you now stepped close, letting out a deep sigh, "Sorry, didn't want to interrupt. But damn, are you lucky."

You bit your lips as you continued to watch him. "Jerk. I hate him."

"Oh, are you sure? You blushed there quite a bit, I'd say." She sheepishly added.

"Thin ice, girl." You pursed your lips at her, "Very thin ice."

She only giggled in response.

"I would give everything to be fucked by that guy." She gazed at where he was walking off with Keigo and Tenko. "C'mon, just look at him!"

You leveled her with a flat look and folded your arms under your chest. She sighed. 

"Girl, he's rich!" She wiggled her hand in his direction, "His dad is fucking loaded!"

"I don't care about all that, you know me" you commented nonchalantly.

"But—I heard he's even going to graduate summa cum laude."  Her eyes became dreamy, "If you land with him, you hit the jackpot."

"Oh, s'that so?" You picked up your bag. "You can have him. I'm not interested"

"You should be. I heard he also fucks like a God."

"Good thing I'm an atheist then." You winked at her and turned to walk away, trying to ignore the wet stickiness in your panties that wasn't there before.

***

The following weeks were absolute torment. Even though Touya was a senior and the paths you crossed were rare, he was constantly around, repeatedly seeking you out in the crowd, his little naughty grins always catching you off guard and making your face heat up. He was smooth, you had to admit, and surprisingly persistent– despite your constant rebuffs.

So it wasn’t long until your name unwantedly became the talk on campus. People were staring at you, muttering behind your back, wondering who that normal girl was that managed to get Touya Todoroki's attention. You weren't used to the looks that everyone was giving you, and felt utterly uncomfortable.

Whenever possible, you avoided large groups of people while on campus. Still, it was unavoidable that some girls' stares always followed you, their whispers behind raised hands a constant backdrop in your head.

It was frustrating, in more ways than one. Because even though you tried to deny it, you started catching yourself having constant thoughts about Touya. And they weren't exactly innocent ones. Whenever you saw him from afar, your chest tightened and your heart thundered a thousand miles a minute. You couldn't shrug off this feeling of wanting to be close to him, to hear his sultry voice, and to run your hands through his raven hair. 

Albeit your own feelings – or rather to deny them – you dedicated yourself to your studies for the next few weeks. So it was no surprise that when midterms came around, your relentless studying paid off, walking out of classes with the highest grades of all.

***

It was late spring and a sudden heat wave had hit your area, making everything unbearably sticky and gross. You opted for a midday walk as some sort of a stress reliever when you heard steps approaching and a familiar voice saying "Hi Cheeks–"

Touya came to a stop right in front of you, dressed in a short sleeve shirt. Intricate black and blue flame tattoos decorated both his arms, complementing his natural looks perfectly. 

After reaching inside the pocket of his jeans, he took a cigarette out of the box he had retrieved, and placed it between his lips. He lit it up, a cloud of smoke billowing up in the air as he exhaled deeply. His smoldering turquoise eyes dragged up your body and stopped at your lips.

"Wanna go eat something, Cheeks?" His gaze continued to linger on your lips.

"Sorry, I think I just lost my appetite." You deadpanned.

"Cmon–" He tilted up his chin, looking at you, smirking.

"Touya, I'm not interested."

"But I'm hungry…" And his eyes flicked back to your lips. 

"Go eat alone then." You mumbled.

Looking up at him, you noticed his rapturous looks, something wicked and flirtatious flickering behind the azure hue of his eyes. Your stomach somersaulted and you knew it was lust in his heavy-lidded eyes when your gazes locked.

"I'm not hungry for food, Cheeks—" his voice was husky, successfully making your spine tingle. 

"Oh for God's sake," you tried to swat his chest but he dodged gracefully, a playful smile on his face, taking another drag of the cigarette he was holding between his fingers.

You couldn't help but stare at his sinfully seductive lips, the way they urged to be kissed—

Okay, let’s not go there, you mentally slapped yourself.

But you were caught already as he observed the way your cheek reddened and cocked his head, eyebrows raised. “Bet you're thinking about me right now, Cheeks.”

"Excuse me?" You lied, the spreading blush reaching your ears, “F-Fuck off Touya!"

You felt like you were seconds away from exploding, with your heart rate blasting through the roof. 

"I think I'm making you nervous." He grinned, 

"God, you're so full of yourself–" you started.

Luckily a high smooth voice interrupted your little bantering. 

"Hey Toto, been looking everywhere for you!" a stunning girl approached.

Touya didn’t even pay a glance as she got close to him, manicured fingers trailing up his arm.

"Missed you, baby" she pouted her plush lips at him, "Why haven't you answered any of my calls?"

Touya sneered, his usual bored expression back on his face, "Should be self-explanatory."

He placed his cigarette between his lips again, sucking in his cheeks, his hooded gaze not leaving yours. 

The girl was stunned by his rude reply but then seemed to brush it off. Moving her face close to his, she purred, “What’s with the attitude, baby?"

"Told you, I have other plans..." Ignoring her completely, his eyes continued to be trained on you as smoke billowed around his face.

Even though he was clearly not interested in that girl, it still left a pinch of bitterness in your heart. You felt disappointed. You'd heard that he had gotten around quite a bit– but seeing the girl just being so much better looking than you made you feel so inferior, so ugly, so—

—you had to get out of here. Now.

"I think you should satisfy your hunger with her," you pointed out and before he could reply, you shouldered your bag and left down the path to the library.

You heard Touya call after you but then the high-pitched voice of the girl interrupted, followed by rough cussing on his behalf before you could get out of earshot.

Serves him right.

***

This irritating, depressing sting of jealousy had been gnawing away at your heart ever since the scene outside with the girl and left you almost sleepless at night. Let's face it, you weren't exactly a virgin anymore either. But your experience had been rather—bleak, to put it nicely. With some random guy. For a whooping ten seconds. Leaving you beyond unsatisfied.

But Touya– he must have been in bed with so many girls, must have gathered so much experience that the thought alone made the bile of jealousy rise in your stomach. And as it was apparent to you, all the girls he had were all pretty and perfect and you couldn't help but feel inferior to them. And you hated yourself for thinking this way.

But that wasn't the only thing keeping your thoughts occupied– no. You couldn't quite shrug off the idea that – even though he served her off, or maybe just because of that – each girl was just a joke for him. As were you.

You had just finished your last lecture for today and, grabbing your iPad from the counter you winced, a stinging pain shooting through the tip of your finger. You pinched it between your thumb and index finger, seeing a splinter stuck in it. You knew you had to wait till later to get it out with tweezers at home.

You sighed as you exited your classroom ready to head outside—when you felt a soft hoodie sleeve slide along your neck as an arm draped around your shoulder, the subtle scent of expensive cologne and cigarette smoke starting to engulf you.

It was familiar, comforting—

—and yet still so unwelcomed.

"There you are, Cheeks, missed ya." Touya's low, sultry voice close to your ear sent instant shivers up your spine. 

Your step faltered and you spun around only for another arm to coil around your waste. Dragging your gaze from his chest up to his face you instantly shrunk beneath the intensity of his stunning blue eyes. Your mouth opened but nothing came out, too struck by how inexcusably handsome he looked up this close.

"That really hurts, huh?" He said with his husky voice, looking down at your finger.

"Let go of me, Touya" you shivered under his touch and tried to shake off his arm.

His eyes never left yours as his hand wrapped around your hurt one, bringing it close to his face. Breathlessly, you watched as he latched his lips around your fingertip and flicked his tongue over the wound before starting to suck.

You inhaled sharply, as a piercing pain shot through your finger, his eyes heavily lidded with lust and desire when you locked gazes.

Shit.

Suddenly, the pain was gone and he released your finger. He stuck out his tongue, the splinter sitting on its tip. He turned his head to spit it away and let go of you, smoothing his hair back. He watched with an amused grin while your cheeks went slowly ablaze.

"D-Don't do that, Touya," you stuttered.

He leaned close, propping himself against the wall next to you. There was that smirk again— the one that made your heart skip a bear. His hand came up to tug a strand of hair behind your ear and his light warm touch had your stomach flutter.

"Don't do what?" He cooed.

"D-Dont touch me." Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. 

Damn.

You hated it. You hated how he made you feel inside, how he made your body react to him. You felt heat rising inside of you again and your resentment towards him increased.

“I'd say you like my touch,” he smirked a bit wider seeing the rosy blush spread on your face. "It's more than obvious."

“You wish,” you retorted, shifting to the side, further away from him.

"And I need to go now, I need to work on my scholarship project." You mumbled as Touya watched on with his lazily lidded eyes.

As you took a step away from him, you felt him hold you back by your arm.

"Wait!" He called out and you stopped, staring straight ahead.

“Listen, Cheeks. I want to apologize,” he sighed, sounding pensive. “You’re busy and here I’ve been, like, keeping you from your work."

Turning around you took him in. He seemed apologetic. And honest.

"I really like spending time with you." He cocked his head, slowly releasing his hold on you. "Why don’t you tell me what the assignment is about so I can make up for distracting you by helping out?"

This was unexpected. His honest expression caught you off guard, and, hesitating for a moment, you told him about your assignment. Not before throwing him a glare–out of mere spite. 

"Well, come to think of it," he mused, "That's a topic I aced last year. I could help out."

Of course, he did, you mentally slapped yourself.

"Ok, here's my offer," his smile became wider. "I'll book a quiet room at the library and help you out."

"Ok, but we only study." You scrunched your nose cutely at him.

"Aw Cheeks, I'm hurt that you think so lowly of me." He chuckled, "Of course, we will only study—promise."

His cerulean eyes were lit up beautifully, bright, with a glint of his usual mischief in them, but also integrity. It brought back memories of when you were kids, of how he used to look at you back then. Full of contentment and—

"Ok," you declared defeat. "Three o'clock. Library. For studying."

He whipped out his phone, asking for your number and typing it down in his contact list.

"Yup, just for studying." Placing his phone in the back pocket of his jeans, he leaned in and pecked your cheek before you could even register his actions. "See ya at three, Cheeks!"

And then he strutted off, hands lazily stuffed in his pockets. As you watched him leave, you noticed the whispers from your classmates as he passed, some eyes even trained on you. It made the heat in your face even more obvious and you quickly turned to walk away.

***

It was half past two and you were sitting at one of the reading tables aligned along the wall in the basement of the library. Touya had texted you that he had successfully booked a room down there. As you were trying to kill time, you were reading in preparation for the meeting. The supportive stone pillars served as dividers in between the tables, yet not as any kind of soundproofing.

At the table adjacent to yours, two girls had been keeping you from studying, irritating you with their endless gossiping. Finally, it sounded like they were gathering their stuff when—

"Have you heard the latest news about Touya?" The first one whispered.

"Spill the beans, bestie!" The other urged.

Oh no, here we go, you thought, clearly annoyed by the fact that every girl seemed to know something about him.

"A girl I know from a party said she slept with him recently." The first one started.

You rolled your eyes. This was the worst conversation to listen to. You tried to focus back on the book, starting to read the first line when—

"You know, she claimed they did it here — in this library."

Oh for Christ's sake, you slammed your hand on the pages. You were close to standing up and leaving. But the desperate urge to want to hear where this was heading took control.

"No way, that's so hot!" The other girl gushed.

"Yeah, can you believe it? She said he invited her for a study session." You heard her shifting in her seat.

You froze, all blood starting to drain from your face.

"What, really?" The other girl's voice was high with excitement. "That's so treacherous. And naughty—"

"He signed up for a quiet room and then they fucked—" there was the sound of fabric rustling as the first one stood up.

You didn't listen any further as all sounds around you started to disappear. The pen you had clutched between your fingers slipped away from your grip, clattering onto the table.

Your heart pounded in your ears and your throat constricted. With your stomach churning and tears starting to form, the world seemed to spin as you slowly rose on your wobbly feet, snatching your belongings.

As you started walking, it felt like gravity had been turned up as every muscle in your body suddenly felt too heavy to move.

God, why did you fall for this…

***

"Please!" 

"No." You scoffed.

"Pretty please?!" Your roommate tried again.

"Still no."

Considering for a second, she continued, "I'll do the dishes for the entire next month."

Contemplating your answers for a second, you exhaled heavily. "Still no." 

She groaned out loud, but then offered with a mischievous smile on her face. "I know secrets about you that I'm not gonna hesitate to spill."

"You wouldn't dare—" You let out a harsh breath, eyes flicking up to meet hers.

"Try me!" She boasted.

You turned your attention back to your studies.

"Ok, dishes and groceries. For a month."

You let out a deep sigh, closing your book with a loud clap. "Fine."

***

So, this is how you ended up at Keigo's birthday bash - organized and hosted by none other than Touya Todoroki. 

You wanted to leave before you had even arrived. Ever since you walked out of that library a week ago, you had successfully avoided Touya and ignored every one of his calls or messages. And now you were here, able to run into him at any minute.

The party had been the talk of campus for quite a while and everyone had taken desperate measures to get their hands on the limited tickets. Even though Tenko teued to convince you to attend, you kept refusing. That was, until your roommate came into your room, fanning her face with two of those most sought-after invitations, courtesy of Tenko, and bribed you into joining her.

The party took place in an opulent suite at the noblest hotel in town, owned by none other than Enji Todoroki, Touya's dad.

Standing against the wall in a corner of the spacious two-story living room area, you took a glimpse around to take in the scene. There was a huge bar and a professional flair bartender currently doing a performance flipping his mixers and bottles, perfectly emphasizing the sleek contemporary furniture.

The entire room was filled with pro lighting effects tailored to the music of a professional DJ playing off to the side. A huge luxury buffet with an assorted arrangement of foods - all masterfully prepared - was placed against the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. It wasn't only a feast for the eye, but also one to spoil the palette.

Your roommate had already excused herself to approach some of the Seniors standing at the bar, leaving you to yourself sipping on your gin & tonic. Sliding your free hand along your dress, you nervously tugged at its hem, trying to pull it down further. Your roommate made you buy it earlier this afternoon and it felt way too short and way too tight for your liking. 

You sighed and stepped towards the well-endowed buffet table when an arm wrapped around your waist from behind and pulled you around.

"Hey, Cheeks!" A voice whispered close to your ear– but it wasn't Touya's. Blond hair tickled your cheek as Keigo dipped his head against the curve of your neck, his warm soft lips grazing your skin.

"Keigo, let me go."

"But you feel so nice." He slurred, a hand starting to wander lower. "And warm."

"Keigo–" You tried to free yourself from his embrace, "Let. Me. Go!"

"Sorry, not happening," holding you with one arm tightly, he quickly chugged a glass filled with whiskey he was holding before placing it carelessly on a catering table nearby.

You tried to push against him but years of being on the Varsity Team had obviously paid off – he didn't budge an inch.

"Lemme kiss you..." He whispered against your neck, tongue dipping out to taste you.

An uncomfortable feeling spread through you, his breath hot against your skin, heavy with the scent of whiskey. 

"Keigo, keep your hands off me–" You kept struggling against his hold as his hand slid down from your waist to your ass. “I swear to God, I’ll punch you."

Just that second you were pried out of Keigo's grip. You lost your footing and stumbled back against a warm body, a strong arm keeping you from falling. Seeing Tenko casually restraining an obviously drunk Keigo, a suspicion arose as to whose arms you were in. As you tilted your head up, a pair of mesmerizing blue eyes glanced down at you, a mischievous glint in them.

Yep. Touya.

"Please don't punch him." Touya chuckled, making sure you had safe footing before releasing you and sending you an apologetic smile. "He's just a bit drunk."

The blond man swayed in Tenko’s embrace, grinning stupidly at you, "Pfff, I'm not drunk! I'm sexy…"

"Well, you better keep restraining me or else I'll punch his pretty face nonetheless…" You growled in return.

"Ha! She said I'm pretty," the Blonde beamed, obviously delighted about your description of him.

"Tenko, please take Keigo over there," Touya nudged his head towards the other side of the room, "I saw a bunch of sorority girls looking for him."

"Yeah Tenko," Keigo's face turned bright and he slurred, "Let's go get some ass!" 

And with that, he raised his fist and stumbled off through the crowd, with Tenko rushing after him but not before rolling his eyes in annoyance.

Trapping your chin between his thumb and index finger, Touya angled your face upward as he raked his eyes over your features. "You're OK there, Cheeks?"

His scent was intoxicating. It numbed your mind and sent heat straight down between your legs. Embarrassingly enough, you noticed how just this subtle gesture of affection had your panties stick wetly to you in an instant.

"Thanks, Touya," you muttered and tried to push past him, trying to get away from him. 

But he was quick to wrap his arm around you, keeping him close to you.

"Nuh-uh, you're staying with me." He grinned, picking up a nearby fresh glass filled with amber liquid from a table. "You keep disappearing on me…"

"Oh, so what—you need me to punch you as well?" You cocked a brow at him.

"Worth the risk." A smugness settled on his face as he took a sip of the amber-colored drink from his glass.

The liquid glistened on his lips and your eyes flicked unconsciously to them before he licked it away. They were the most alluring feature, soft and slightly parted—and again you couldn't help but fantasize how they would feel pressed against yours.

You were quick to avert your gaze again. But an unwanted desire grew in your chest, and you clenched your thighs in an attempt to stop the heat from spreading.

But Touya's mouth quirked suspiciously at the corner, having seen your wandering gaze. 

You took a deep breath to keep your annoyance at bay. "What are you smiling at?"

"Hmmm let me think…" he tipped his head and added with a cheeky expression "You, staring at my lips?"

"No, I wasn't," you braced your hands against his chest in an attempt to free yourself.

Heat bloomed in your cheeks when you felt him, all the firm muscles under his soft shirt, warm and solid, his strong heartbeat pounding against your palm.

Shit.

It stirred something inside you, making you aware of just how attractive he was, how close you were to him, feeling the heat radiating off his body, his sweet breath fanning your face. The blush kept spreading to your ears especially when you noticed something else that was solid as well. And it was pressing against you. 

Just lower.

Your body felt hot all of a sudden and you tried to blame the little alcohol you had consumed so far. But the thought of how his chest would feel, bare underneath your skin, how it would feel to press your lips against it clawed its traitorous way into your brain.

Luckily the train of thought was cut short.

"I'm pretty sure you were staring at my lips," He fought back a grin as he raised an eyebrow. 

Bastard, you cursed inwardly a few times for having been caught red-handed.

"No, I wasn't," you answered, wincing inwardly from sounding so weak.

A pleased sound rumbled deep in his chest. "I think you're lying, Cheeks."

Why is he so infuriating, insufferable and so–

– goddamn attractive.

"Touya, please–" it came out as a mere whisper while you swallowed nervously.

“Please what?” He tilted his head, looking amused. “You don’t have to be shy, you know.”

He was obviously having a blast with your reaction. He has always been like that. One second he was nice and sweet and the next second his blatant cockiness annoyed the hell out of you. 

“I’m not shy.” You tried to defend yourself. "You're just annoying, that's all."

His eyes slowly dropped down to your mouth and you felt it straight in your belly. It took over your senses and clouded any coherent thoughts.

“And you’re pretty." Touya whispered, leaning in further.

“What do you want from me?” You trembled beneath his gaze, suddenly feeling so vulnerable.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Tilting his head to the side, he angled his mouth above yours. “You."

You could feel his warm breath on your lips, the tip of his nose tickling yours. Maybe he did change. Maybe he really was interested in you. So without thinking any further you let your lids flutter shut, parting your lips when–

"Oi Touya!" A guy shouted at him over the noise of the crowd and the music, "Am I interrupting something?"

Your eyes shot open as both turned your heads towards a young man with short auburn hair approaching, wearing a black shirt and white tie.

"'Course you fucking are, dipshit!" Touya growled at him, obviously not happy about the guy's appearance.

The other took you in before asking, wearing a stupid grin on his face. "What happened to the cute blond girl from before? No wait, she was brunette, wasn't she—?"

"Shut it," Touya hissed, loosening his hold on you as he was ready to approach the other man.

Memories of the conversation between the two girls at the library flooded your mind and it churned another feeling inside you— one of betrayal. And suddenly you felt so dumb for thinking that he'd ever change. He would always be the guy who humiliated you and would do it again without thinking. And with that last thought, you dove under Touya's arm to start digging your way through the crowd toward the exit.

There was a loud cuss as your dark-haired admirer picked up the pursuit. But even though he was larger and stronger, you were quite agile, twisting and diving around and under people.

"Cheeks, stop!" Touya called after you.

But you didn't think of it. You almost reached the door when fingers clamped around your wrist and pulled you back.

"Fucking stop running!" Touya glowered at you, his tone aggravated. 

"Let me go!" You dug your fingers under his to try to free yourself from his grip.

"Hell no," he hissed and turned around to drag you up the stairs with him. "We're gonna have a talk."

"I don't want to though." You continued to struggle.

"I don't care, I'm sick of this!" He didn't even look at you as he arrived at the mezzanine floor.

"Touya please, you're hurting me," you whimpered, his grip on your wrist relentless as he kicked open the first door.

Touya shoved you into the room, booting the door shut behind him and you stumbled, catching yourself on the couch. Turning around you visibly paled. Touya stood in the doorframe, you'd never seen such a serious expression on his face. As he started approaching, you backed up, shrinking away under his intense glare.

"Touya, let me go–" Your voice sounded too shaky to be strong.

"No, you're not leaving until we've talked." He answered while approaching.

"You're scaring me—" You stepped further back until your back hit the wall. 

He was taking another stride until his body was directly in front of you, slamming his hands against the wall next to your head, caging you in.

"Touya—" You sniffled, "What's gotten into you?"

The blue of his eyes was dark, pointed sharply at you. 

"You're asking what's gotten into me?" His voice was dangerously low and rumbling. "Should ask you the same! Every time I wanna talk to you, you run away."

You cringed at his harsh words, his mouth pressed to a thin line, its corners angrily twitching.

"I want an explanation" He lifted his hand to slam it against the wall again, giving his words ample support.

"You pulled down my pants!" You yelled at him.

There. You said it. 

His expression turned puzzled, seriously taken aback.

"You're still mad at me for that?" His tone turned more aggravated.

“You ridiculed me!” You glared back at him, feeling your eyes watering up.

"That was ages ago!" He slammed his palm against the wall again. "I was a fucking dumb kid!"

Your bottom lip was trembling when your eyes locked. Frustration and anger clawed their way up your chest and without thinking you blurted out, "And what about the girl you fucked in the silent room? Were you gonna pull the same stunt on me?"

Your entire body was trembling by now, tears sitting heavy at your lash line.

"What the—no! Who told you that bullshit?" By now, he seriously seemed confused.

"It's no bullshit!" You spat back, "Some girls talked about it while I was waiting for you."

"So, that's why you left…" his eyes darkened, "Listen Cheeks, people say a lot of shit about me. If you would've just asked–"

"And what about that blond–" you cleared your throat, trying to suppress a sob, "No, brunette girl earlier on?" 

"Oh for fucks sake!" Touya's anger was palpable by now. "Kai hates me and always makes up shit like this just to get at me."

"I don't believe you." You turned your face sideways to avoid his gaze.

He stared at you in disbelief for a moment, before—

"You don't believe me?" He almost yelled at you. "I've been honest with you the entire time and you have just been so—aaahhh!"

He slammed his palm against the wall again. You flinched at its impact, a single tear freeing itself from your damp eyelashes, making its way down your cheek. Another one quickly followed. You choked on a gasp and noticed you had held your breath. Slowly, you breathed through trembling lips.

A heavy silence settled between you, the only audible sound being his heavy breathing and your silent sobs.

There was a subtle touch to your cheek as a warm hand gently cupped your face, turning it towards him. 

"Look at me," he said, his voice much softer.

You did, your gaze slowly rising to meet Touya's eyes. All anger was gone from his features, another expression instead passing over his face, one that was almost... tender. And affectionate.

His azure eyes took you in, the way you sniffled softly, another tear rolling down your cheek. His thumb brushed the tiny drop of salt water away as he continued gazing at you.

"Never made a girl cry like this before." His voice was low and made your heart pick up a beat, "Except for in my bed underneath me."

You giggled, sniffling, and leaned into his comforting touch. "You're such a dick…"

"I know," he chuckled and shifted forward, subtly eating up the space between you.

You could feel his warm breath fan over your skin. Then his lips ghosted over your cheek, the tip of his tongue dipping out to lick away the salty warmth of a single tear.

"Please forgive me?" He murmured against your skin, moving lower, following the trail of your tears, licking them up, one by one.

It was hard trying to formulate a response with his warm lips on your skin. You tried to say something, tried to push him away but you had forgotten how to speak – how to move.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he breathed and adjusted his direction, going lower, and lower, his tongue flicking out to lick the corner of your mouth.

You sucked in a little breath of surprise and he took the small advantage to move his mouth over yours, dipping his tongue inside.

You let your eyes flutter shut, your entire brain short-circuiting as it hit like a lightning strike. You forgot yourself, forgot everything else except for the tip of his tongue on yours. 

Your mouths started to sensually and slowly work against one another as were your tongues, leaving you lightheaded and knees buckling as you moved your hands up to steady yourself on his hips.

He smelled and tasted like the best thing you've ever tasted, with warm skin, and a hint of smoke. You kept kissing like that, his hand cupping your face, sliding behind your neck, to cup your nape, to angle your face and pull you deeper into the kiss.

You felt his thigh slip between yours, pinning you in place. The unmistakable press of something stiff against your hips caught your attention, making you gasp into his mouth. Goosebumps cascaded up and down your body and you felt each hair stand on end.

With each roll of your tongues, he humped his clothed erection against your core. A small whimper spilled past your mouth and it earned you a quiet hum of approval in response.

You were starting to lose your mind as you continued to intensify the kiss, mouths working against one another. He groaned at the way you ground your hips forward, meeting his in a desperate attempt to feel more of him.

His movements became erratic before he pulled back, panting heavily, eyes dark and hooded with lust.

"Jesus fucking–" his words came out hoarse and breathy.

Then his hands swept along the back of each of your thighs to lift you off the floor and onto his hips.

You squealed his name against his lips as he swung you around and laid you down on the soft sheets of the queen-sized bed in one swift motion, his mouth not once leaving yours.

Fitting himself between your legs, he spread them easily with his body, grinding his pelvis against your clothed heat, making sure you felt just how huge he was and how much he wanted you. 

With each rut, he pressed his throbbing cock directly against your sensitive nub. It had your blood boiling, your core clenching and you canted your hips to meet his, the coil inside of you tightening by the second.

"Touya–" you panted into his mouth, nails digging into his shirt.

It felt better than anything you could've imagined. The pressure in your guts increased, the coil wound tighter and tighter, a white heat starting to blister, and with the next press of his hips against your mound—

“Touya, wait!" you gasped against his mouth, but it was too late.

Your orgasm exploded and had you moan into his mouth, back arching off the soft mattress, pressing your breasts against him.

His movements stalled and he looked at you with a puzzled look on his face.

"Did you just…?" A surprised smirk spread on his face.

You just laid below him, trying to catch your breath, cheeks bright red and lips raw and swollen from the intensive kissing.

"Yes, you did!" His soft chuckle vibrated through you, making you squirm underneath him.

"S-Shut up," you muttered, your hand raising to cover your blushing face.

"I think it's cute." A hand slid into your palm, fingers interlacing with yours as the other rose to brush a piece of hair away from your eyes.

"I'm just sensitive." You tried to explain, your face warming.

"I love that about you," he said, his warm breath fanning against your skin. "No need to apologize."

"You're just messing with me" you murmured, eyelashes fluttering shyly.

"I'd never," you heard him say under his breath.

You both stayed like this for a few more moments, warm bodies pressed against one another. 

Then he asked, tentatively, "So, you want to stop here?"

Carding your fingers through his messy hair you laughed, "You better not--”

He buried his face in your neck and groaned deeply. "God, why do you have to be so perfect—?"

"Trying my hardest," you giggled.

He started nibbling against your pulse, making you writhe underneath him. You could feel him smirking against your skin at your reaction, lips finally brushing yours and you untangled your fingers to pull at his hair. You started kissing, deep and longingly, darting your tongue between his lips to get a better taste of him. He kept kissing you, deep and messy, just pausing to nip at your lips before shoving his tongue in your mouth again.

Without breaking the kiss, you propped yourself up on your elbows. Touya wrapped his arms around you, grabbed the zipper of your dress, and slowly pulled it down to its bottom. Hooking his fingers under your straps, he pulled the dress down over your bare breasts and you helped get your arms out. Leaning back, he gently guided you back onto the mattress. When the dress was at your hips and you lifted them, allowing him to glide it over your butt and off your legs. 

The kiss never broke, eyes closed with lust, until suddenly he straightened up, eagerly taking you in with smoldering turquoise eyes. "Shit, you look more beautiful than I imagined." 

"You imagined—?"

"Oh, you don't know how often I dreamed about you." Tracing his fingers around the curve of your completely exposed breasts, "Ever since I first saw you on campus."

With that he sunk down, latching his warm lips around your erect nipple. You sucked in a breath, a blistering heat shooting right through your body as it ripped a loud moan from your mouth. As he continued, running his tongue over your nipples, alternating between swirls and flicks, you gasped for air. His mouth closed in on one, then the other, sucking and biting lightly, while Touya hummed in approval and continued his ministrations on the other breast. 

When he stopped, you looked up at him. There was so much heat between your legs, and you were dripping wet.

“Can't believe that after all these years I finally have you in bed with me." He breathed out heavily, eyes glazed with lust as he peered at you below him. 

And If it was possible to fuck you with a look, this was it.

You swallowed your breath, heart thrumming loud against your chest. “What are you waiting for then?"

“Atta girl,” he said and hooked his thumb under the hem of your panties, pulling them down and off your legs.

Grabbing your thighs and spreading your legs apart, his breathing became faster, seeing your glistening folds, all that arousal seeping out.

"Cheeks, let's skip the foreplay." His face took on a pained expression as he gulped. "I think I'll bust a nut in my pants if I wait any longer."

Tilting your head, you took in the huge, twitching bulk in his pants, urging to be released. "Y-Yeah, go on, I'm ready."

"Thank God." He growled deep and low, hooking his fingers under his shirt.

Pulling it over his head, he threw it carelessly across the room. When he started unbuttoning his pants, you gasped as you saw a neatly trimmed black happy trail leading up to—

Sitting on his knees he pulled his pants down. 

—his pierced cock. 

Jesus Christ. Figured he was pierced– and went fucking commando.

You realized you were holding your breath when he had his eyes on you, asking with an unexpectedly low voice of his, “Ready?”

You nervously nodded when Touya was settling himself back between your legs.

Grabbing his cock at its base, he positioned it against your shimmering folds, sliding it back and forth over your slick pussy instead of putting it in. Precum mixed with your slick, his gaze transfixed on your face, waiting for approval.

The way you tentatively bit your lips was all he needed.

His cock started pressing hard against your entrance, and after a bit of resistance, the head popped in with a burning stretch.

Simultaneously, the both of you moaned out loud and tried to hold your composure. With gritted teeth, Touya pushed further agonizingly slow, groaning, each piercing slightly resisting before finally slipping in.

You felt split open, so sensitive that you struggled to last as he pushed in further, deeper. When he was finally inserted, you couldn't help but cry out again. It wasn't only the length that was impressive. The thickness and piercings were what got your head spinning. 

“Fuck,” Touya hissed through his teeth, desperation in his voice. His head dropped against your neck, his hand tapping out on the sheets.

"I-I think I need a moment here," he panted against your skin, his stiff cock wildly throbbing inside your pussy, close to painting your insides white with his creamy release.

"Whom are you telling," your breathing was labored, trying your hardest not to cum on the spot. 

"Shit, you're so…" he gulped, "Why are you so fucking tight—?"

"Cause you're huge!" You gasped sharply, clenching even harder down on him.

His breathing was still strained, his face still buried in your neck.

"So, do you need me to distract you?" You wheezed. "Pinch something or maybe—punch you?"

"Don't you dare," he chuckled, playfully biting the skin of your shoulder.

“I would never---” You giggled, close to bursting out into laughter over him.

Noticing the tension inside you slowly subsiding, you placed your warm palm on his back, gently running it up and down his stiff back, hoping he’d finally relax. Feeling the muscles slowly soften under your touch, his nether regions calmed down as well. 

"Ok," he finally breathed, "Ready?" 

You only nodded and he—

Holy shit.

You weren't prepared for this at all. Your hand was clutching onto Touya's shoulder for dear life as he began to slowly pull out. All nerve endings were on fire instantly and one hand darted up to clasp over your mouth. 

It felt amazing, his piercings adding just the right friction, his girth to the heavenly pressure. Touya grunted as he stopped, only the cockhead still buried inside your wet warm walls.

Then without a warning, he leaned his weight onto you, sinking his entire length into your pussy again, all the way to the base. He started a hard and deep pace, knocking the breath out of you.

“Touya—” you hit your head against the headboard from how urgently he thrusted forward.

“Cheeks,” he uttered between heavy breaths as he continued to slide his cock in and out of you. “How the fuck do you feel so good?"

"Y-You tell me—" You moaned.

Placing his hands on your hips and wrapping his fingers under your back he suddenly sat on his knees, lifting your butt off the mattress. Forcefully, he pulled you off the pillows and towards him, onto him, and slung your legs over his shoulders. 

Oh! was the last coherent word that your brain came up with before he started fucking you in earnest now.

Fisting your trembling fingers into the bed sheets, you bit your lower lip at the feeling of the steady push and pull, making you gasp and clench around him harder.

Touya muttered feverishly, “Fuck, you’re so wet,” under his breath, dropping his head out of pleasure. "You're dripping down my balls–"

He leaned closer to you, knees at your arms, chest pressing against your breasts as he kissed your lips while continuing to move his hips. His mouth was warm and wet and eager against your own and you clutched your hands around his nape for stability.

You slowly started losing your composure, struggling to hold back your orgasm. Still, you begged for more, more– and he delivered, thrusting into you deep and raw, faster and much more forceful than before, stimulating that special spot in you, brutal and quick.

And you couldn’t help but sob at how good it felt. Never in your life had you experienced anything like this. He hit all the right places, his piercings adding perfectly to the friction. You felt the coil inside you so close to bursting again.

Oh my god, you were gonna cum again.

You honestly never thought that sex could bring this much pleasure, with it feeling raw and amazing at the same time. Your orgasm hit you like a tsunami, squelching sounds mixed with your incoherent sobbing and his low groans, while Touya's heated gaze drank up the lewd expression on your face as you came.

“Wanna fill you up with –fuck– my fucking cum, Cheeks.” He emphasized each word with a hard thrust, making you moan even harder around his length.

You could barely speak at that point, couldn’t even find the energy to move so he slid his hand between your legs, talented fingers starting to rub your clit. 

His mouth found yours again and he kissed you– hungry and sloppy– muttering under his breath, "Do you want me to fill you up? Do you want my cum inside of you?"

"Oh god, yes." You whimpered breathlessly into his mouth.

He started to give you deeper, harder strokes now. You were close to crying, with it all being too much. Your vision became blurry from all the tears in your eyes and your body trembled, legs shook as his thrusts prolonged the orgasm and unearthed another one right behind it.

It made your eyes roll back and toes curl, losing all control as you felt the tingly feeling begin to unwind in your abdomen. You were a mess below him by then, pleading for him to go faster, harder, voice wracked with sobs of ecstasy.

The pleasure coiled, tighter and tighter. You couldn't hold back anymore, with him sliding in and out of you at this insane speed, his cock pounding into your G-spot with every thrust forward, working you both towards your shared high.

Your cries and the wet, squelching sounds of your messy unity echoed off the walls. You didn't care if people at the party downstairs could hear, too lost in each other's pleasure to think about anything else.

“I–,” he slurred, completely out of control. “I’m gonna cum.”

And then Touya’s head dropped against your shoulder, hot breath coming out in rough pants from the exertion. His eyes rolled back and he shuddered — pounding deep into you, erratic and needy. 

The sight of him being so close to bliss, the feeling of him slamming his dick into you— you couldn't handle it, and it had you falling over the edge again. The tension burst, another intense wave of pleasure racking your body as you gushed around his length. It felt like you shattered into a million pieces and then he pulled you back together again.

With his rhythm becoming sloppy and one last thrust, he came deep inside of you. sharing this moment of all-encompassing pleasure with you. 

You felt Touya toppling on top of you almost immediately, chest rising and falling fast as he tried to pump back some air into his lungs.

“Holy—,” he said, breathing heavily at the juncture of your neck.

"Yeah—" you wheezed, trying to get your heart from racing in your chest.

You both stayed like that, drunk on the endorphins rushing through your system. His hair gently brushed over your skin, his soft lips alternating between nibbling and kissing your skin while you ran your hands across his back.

He eventually got soft inside of you and then slipped out, each piercing slowly popping out. Your combined release gushed out, dripping warm and creamy down your ass and onto the sheets below.

Bit by bit, the muffled sounds of the party came back, filling the room. 

"Sooo—" He glanced at you from under his dark bangs. "Are we good now?"

"Touya…."You scolded, shuddering under the feeling of his warm lips against your neck.

"I love how you say my name." He was nosing your skin, "'Getting hard again."

"Imbecile" - you groaned when you felt his soft cock starting to twitch against your dripping folds again.

He chuckled at that response, rubbing his slender nose into your pulse.

"But since you asked so nicely— I'll think about it," raising your arms you weaved your fingers into his hair, earning you an appreciative hum.

"You're so mean, Cheeks" he cooed, continuing to cover your skin with little kisses.

"Just paying you back for years of torture," your lips curled into a soft, satisfied smile before you turned your head to meet his lips for another passionate kiss.

***

The constant talk of the professor made for a monotonous backdrop. You sighed, looking at the digital clock on your tablet. Still a few more minutes to go before class was over and you could enjoy the rest of the day off.

You paid little to no mind to the professor's words, thinking about the weekend and all that happened. After you spent the night with Touya, you both woke before anyone else. He offered to drive you home, but not without buying you your favorite coffee on the way there. After a goodbye kiss at the door, he drove off. 

To your surprise, your roommate had spent the night with Tenko and apparently would stay at his place. It was a turn you'd never anticipated but were pretty happy about. And– it left you alone in your apartment, having enough time to ponder the endless possibilities of what that night with Touya meant for you, with it occupying your mind more than you anticipated. Because even though you knew he was probably busy with getting the cleanup organized, it still ate away at you that he didn't even call once.

So needless to say, doubts were nagging at you. You weren’t sure what this meant, what his intentions were. There were a million other girls in the world he could have chosen. So many hotter ones, prettier ones. So, were you just a phase, just another girl in the line of all the others he's had?

The pain in your chest rose as you kept thinking about this. And you finally concluded that he had to have teased you, that you were just another trophy on his wall of girls he fucked.

You hated this. You hated feeling like this, these thoughts making the turmoil inside you grow. You covered your face with your palms, feeling your eyes turn hot and your lower lip starting to tremble. 

Luckily, you were ripped from your thoughts by the shuffle of the people in the room and realized that the lecture was over. You took a moment to steady your pulsating heart, sighed, and stuffed your belongings into your bag, standing up and shouldering it. 

As you headed towards the door of the lecture room and stepped outside, you only took a few steps before someone was by your side, slinging an arm around your shoulders, and pulling you close.

Looking up with wide eyes, you saw Touya, effortlessly handsome as always, grinning at you, "Hey, Cheeks, missed ya."

You didn't know what to say, noticing how people stopped in their tracks to stare at the both of you, whispers starting behind raised hands.

"W-What are you doing here, Touya?" Your cheeks blushed as the wetness of your lashes reminded you of your recent doubts.

"I'm here to see my girl." He circled one arm around your waist, rasping, "I'm sorry, but my dad kept me busy yesterday so I couldn't talk much."

"Oh," you replied as his hand slipped behind your nape, pulling you closer.

"I'm gonna make it up to you, ok?" He leaned his forehead against yours, his perfect turquoise eyes glancing right into yours. "Let's spend the rest of the day together."

You only nodded, brain empty, just filled with his scent, his warmth, his low seductive voice in your ears. It made a certain heat rise inside of you again and you clenched your thighs, secretly cursing him for having such an effect on you. 

Then Touya dipped his head down to press his warm lips against yours, not caring about the increasing number of onlookers. All thoughts left your brain when the wet tip of his tongue flicked across your lips, demanding entrance. His hand moved to your cheek to tilt your head so he could kiss you even deeper. With the rasp of his warm tongue against yours, you tangled your fingers in his hair, making him moan into your open mouth. His kiss, his touch, had your stomach in knots within seconds.

When you both pulled away for a brief moment to breathe, he groaned "God, I missed this." 

He tugged you back towards him, his tongue plunging into your mouth. You felt hot all over, your skin tingling in anticipation, as your desire for him built inside of you. He shuddered slightly when you worked your hand under his shirt, not thinking about anything but wanting to touch him, feel him.

Being in his arms again, feeling him so close, felt heavenly. 

You shivered, wetness pooling in your pants again, “Touya—”

"Bro, what the fuck?" An all too familiar voice interrupted over the whispers of the surrounding onlookers. "You kissing in public?"

Touya groaned and broke the kiss, straightening up. "Got a problem with that, dumbass?"

"Maybe," Keigo approached, raking his manicured hand through his blond hair.

Coming to a stop in front of you, Keigo hooked his thumbs into his expensive Gucci jeans as he took both of you in. "So Cheeks, can I have a kiss as well—?"

"No, you fucking can't." He hissed, his arms circling protectively around your figure. "Don't even think about touching her."

"Touya, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that." You tried to intervene.

Touya looked straight ahead at Keigo. "Oh yes, he did."

"Yep Birdie, I would love to have a taste of you…" Keigo winked at you.

You blink twice, taking a moment to process his words.

“Piss off, Keigo." Touya hissed.

But the blond man wasn't phased at all by the threat.

"Why not?” Keigo smirked, ruffling his hair. “Are you, like dating or what? Cause, you never date---”

You froze and averted your eyes, afraid of his answer because you still weren't sure what this meant to him.

“Of course we are,” Touya said, unfazed, drawing you closer to him.

"W-We are?" Your stomach somersaulted, heart rising to your throat at his words.

"Sure Cheeks, what else did you think?" Seeing you with disbelief in your eyes he rolled his eyes at you. "That this was just a one-night stand? You disappoint me—"

"Her reaction doesn't surprise me at all." Keigo's teasing smirk split into a full-blown grin, "Never took you for a relationship type of guy."  

Touya’s head spun around to face his friend.

"Me on the other hand," Keigo mused, grinning suspiciously at you, "I am all for a serious relationship, just saying."

"Shut it, Keigo," Touya growled upon his words, visibly irritated. "She's mine."

Looking at Keigo you noticed the corners of his mouth wobbling suspiciously, as his eyes flicked to yours before focusing back on Touya.

Oh. Ohhh—

You found yourself holding back your giggles, watching the scene now unravel in front of you from a different perspective.

"Well, ok," Keigo wiggled his eyebrows at you, "My offer's still up though."

Touya growled deep and threatening. "Keigo, I'm warning you—"

The blonde shrugged at the threat before continuing with a big mischievous grin. "So, was he any good? Cause I'm much better—"

"You motherfuckin–" Keigo barely dodged Touya's fist and spun around to run off cackling, only for your boyfriend to take after him.

"I'm also much bigger than him!" You heard Keigo yell, followed by Touya's angry howl.

You couldn't help but burst out laughing looking after them running down the hall like two little children. Needless to say, this was the best start to college for you after all.

[helaelaemond]

TIPS FOR WRITING IN AN ENGLISH UNIVERSITY SETTING from someone who’s been through it!

This post is written with fanfic in mind, specifically about Michael Gavey as a Maths student at the University of Oxford.

University structure

At Oxford, you are there typically for three years. You’re not usually referred to as “first year”, “second year” or “third year/final year” as nouns, and are more likely to describe yourself as being “in my first year” etc. The only exception is your first few weeks at uni when you’re known as a fresher. Your first week in your first year is known as “freshers week”, and its lots of social activities around the uni and beyond.

OXFORD IS NOT A CAMPUS UNI. University housing and buildings are scattered around the city of Oxford, and so using terms like “on campus” are not applicable.

Term starts in early October, and most exams are wrapped up by June.

Housing

Oxford is one of four English universities that use the college system (the others being Cambridge - also called ‘The Other Place’ - Durham, and York) and for the sake of simplicity, you can think of this as a replacement term for ‘dorm’ (a term not typically used). You can find a list of all the colleges on the university’s website.

Within the college building, there are usually single rooms with en-suites, but some rooms have to share a communal bathroom.

University students do NOT have roommates - no one shares a bedroom. There are also some room types in a flat-like set up, with a cluster of a few rooms (2-8 typically) and a shared kitchen. This is less common at Oxford.

Students sometimes stay in university-provided accommodation for the duration of their studies, whilst some choose to live in private accommodation from their second year onwards. If they do this, they are still associated with their college, and by default their college does not change. Private accommodation usually means a regular house shared with a few other people - this is standard across all universities in the UK, not just Oxford.

Classes

Generally speaking, subjects that don’t require lab work have a pretty simple weekly structure of one lecture and one seminar per module. Lectures are observed silently, and seminars are for discussions. Even the boldest or more socially unaware individuals do not interrupt lectures (in my four years, I never ever experienced anyone interrupting or asking a question, and so if you’re going to write Michael doing that, be aware it is a huge taboo unless the lecturer has asked for participation). Students usually take 2-3 different modules per semester, and during the academic year, there are two semesters across three terms.

Reading week is a week of usually in late October/early November where there are no classes for a week and it is a time for self-study.

Most modules have at least one assignment (what Americans would call a term paper) due before the Christmas break in December, and then at least one exam after the break ends in January. Some modules on some courses have other assignments or contributors to grades (like group presentations) but this isn’t all that common. It is very rare for things like “extra credit” to be earned, if at all.

Unless reading a combined degree (like Politics and Economics), you only take one subject. There is nothing like a “major” and “minor”. When doing a combined degree, you take half your modules on one degree, and half your modules on the other, so it’s an even 50/50. You cannot choose any subject to do a combined degree for, and they are pre-set courses determined by the university. For example, you couldn’t do a combined degree of Maths and Geography just because you wanted to.

You don’t talk about what course you’re studying, you say what course you’re reading (which is why Michael says he’s “reading Maths” not studying it).

University culture

Nightclubbing isn’t much of a thing in Oxford. If you want a uni with great nightlife you go to Birmingham, Nottingham, Sheffield, Newcastle, London - not Oxford or Cambridge. Instead, students are much more likely to spend time in one of the dozens of pubs in Oxford. College parties (I.e university accommodation parties) don’t tend to be much of a thing either unless they’re organised by the social events committees in those colleges.

Elitism is an enormous problem at Oxford. For example, in 2015, 45% of all freshers were from private schools, while only less than 7% of children in the UK are privately educated. Classism is an issue that is so unbelievably rampant in places like Oxford that I can’t even begin to explain. But like many forms of prejudice in the UK, it’s rarely overt. It comes in the forms of exclusion from social activities (think a working class student not being able to go on a ski trip with course mates), social rules only familiar to the rich being the order of the day (having the right type of suit for a formal dinner).

Oxford is a place where lifelong connections are made that spill into entertainment, business, and (most worryingly) politics, but best believe that if you’re not from the right background, those connections are not yours to make. In fact, the likelihood of you even know they’re going on in the shadows is high.

Obviously, classism and elitism are themes of Saltburn, but please don’t take them too seriously, as it’s crucial to remember that the writer/director grew up in these very private inner circles of elites. As such, her spin is wildly… wild. She’s an incredibly unreliable source for basing any kind of opinion about these issues on.

That’s all I can think of right now! I highly encourage other people who have been through English universities to add on with advice you think you would helpful to writers 😁🫶

And if you’ve got any specific questions, let me know and I’ll help if I can!

[facioleeknow]

He loves me, he loves me not • Bang Chan

Does he like you or are you friends delulu?

WC: 1906 Genre: smut, fluff, lifeguard!au, highschool/college!au (implied)

TW: kids, smut, not proofread, shuhua x soojin (gidle)

AN: this wasn't supposed to contain any smut but Dahlia (@comet-falls ) made me think about Chris on his knees in the most inappropriate time (Brat).

Taglist: @bahng-chrizz

Working a summer job wasn't the worst thing you ever did, by far but it wasn't exactly how you planned on spending your summer. Especially if the job in question was at the snack bar at the local community pool. You wanted to spend your summer lazing around towns and spending way too much time at your best friend’s house, not yelling at kids not to run around and trying not to melt under the scorching summer heat. 

The job, though, even if it resembled largely your own personal hell most of the time, had its perks. First of all you had free entrance at the pool and the keys which meant that if you wanted to swim late at night you could and you were sure the owner didn’t mind. And second the lifeguard assigned to keep the little demons at bay was Christopher Bang, and he was dreamy. 

It wasn’t like you and Chris went back but you two knew each other as you had a mutual friend, Lee Felix, who was probably the sweetest and kindest person you knew. The friendship between you and Felix was weird, he was a literal angel and you were the biggest people-hating person you knew, he loved the sun and hot weather and you hated light and suffered if the temperature went past 15°C; but he never pointed the differences out and he was one of the closest friends you had, except for Shuhua of course.

You were extremely thankful to Felix, and not only because he went past your discrepancies but also because he was the one who found you the job; thanks to him you were able to freely ogle at Chris with heart eyes and a slightly open mouth.

“God he’s so hot,” you whined. That day was particularly hot so Chris had discarded his tank top and was only in his trunks, basking in the sun. The sight was glorious.

“Can you stop drooling on a man? It’s embarrassing,” Shuhua sighed and kept fanning herself with a random newspaper you found behind the bar and gave her. Her and her girlfriend Soojin finally agreed to visit you at work after you complained for weeks about how excruciating it was to stay around little kids all day without support. She had been side-eyeing you all morning for simping like that for a man, insisting that it wasn’t very girlboss of you and you insisted back that you knew but he was different, he was actually nice, which earned you an even more sour look.

“Leave her alone, I’m sure you were like this when we weren’t together,” argued Soojin, looking fondly at the other girl. 

“Oh my god, she was even worse and I had to sit through it all the time and of course I couldn’t say anything,” you agreed with Soojin which made Shuhua whine quite loudly.

“Excuse me miss,” a little voice interrupted your conversation, “ can you give me another ice cream?”

“I’m sorry sweetie, but you already ate two and your mother told me not to give you any,” you forced a smile. That kid came everyday and demanded all the ice cream and when the mother said no he threw one hell of a tantrum. 

You tried to resume your conversation with the girls, hoping that the kid would spare you that day, but as soon as you turned the child started screaming and crying for ice cream. Like. Every. Damn. Day. Shuhua scoffed once again and looked at him with that one scary stare she always had.

“Kid, didn’t your mother teach you not to interrupt adult’s conversations?” by the tone of her voice you could tell that your best friend was really ticked off and not just pretending to make the kid quiet. You kinda felt bad for the kid, being on the other end of Shuhua’s annoyance wasn’t something enjoyable. At all.

While you were thinking about that time when you had fucked up really bad and Shuhua yelled at you, the kid sprinted towards the counter, grabbed your phone and then started running in the opposite direction.

“Are you fucking serious?” you mumbled to yourself. as fast as you could you got out of the little snack hut and tried to run after the kid, who was extremely fast and wasn’t wearing shoes which gave him better grip on the wet floor. However you were way taller than him and his little legs could only do so much, your hand started grazing his shoulder and you were already tasting victory when your forehead collided with a hard metal surface. The elevated lifeguard seat. Your luck couldn’t be any better. You fell backwards.

Your head hurt like a bitch, that pole was very sturdy even if it looked rusty. You closed your eyes, the world was spinning a little bit. You could feel people looming over you and faint shouting a bit more far away from you. Soojin and Chris were both kneeling beside your slumped form.

“Are you alright?” Soojin whispered worriedly. You groaned, the last thing you needed was a gigantic bruise in the middle of your forehead.

“My phone.”

“Shuhua went to get it, don't worry.”

A big warm hand gently patted your head and started brushing hair away from your face.

“Are you sure you're okay?”a male voice asked. Chris. Your eyes shot open. He was smiling at you and it was the sweetest smile you had ever seen in your entire life.

“Yeah,” you sputtered. Your whole body was on fire, and not in the good way.

Chris put his muscular arm around your shoulders and helped you sit up. The closeness between both of your faces was making your heart beat wildly.

“I'm going to get some nice, wouldn't want a bruise to ruin your pretty face,” he winked at you playfully.

Soojin raised an eyebrow at you but your mind had escaped your current body and was metaphorically running in a flower field.

Maybe the summer job wasn't that bad.

From that day Chris would always exchange small talk in the morning with you when the pool was quiet and the kids were still sleeping. Sometimes he would catch you staring and he'd send a wink your way paired with one of his adorable smiles which made you extremely flustered. Shuhua and Soojin insisted he liked you, you insisted that he was being nice because you had a mutual friend. But after what happened earlier that day you were starting to toy with the idea.

It was extremely hot and everybody was struggling except the kids that still ran around like it was any other day. The snack hut felt like a furnace but the shadow it provided gave you at least some protection. Chris on the other hand didn't look so good, he was wearing a cap to protect his head against the sun but the heat was getting to him and you could see that. Your hand instinctively flew to the small fridge behind you and grabbed an ice cold bottle of water. 

The walk to the chair was agonizing, your nerves we're so taut that you could play violin on them. The universe though, must have not liked you getting close to that particular spit because once again he sent a kid against you. The blonde, giggly, snotty child ran into your brand new t-shirt (a cat shirt) ice cream first and then proceeded to smear it across the front of it. 

“Hehe, sorry,” he giggled and then ran away.

“I like you shirt,” chuckled Chris, now in front of you. You decided to ignore his comment and handed him the bottle.

“It's really hot, you should drink plenty of water.” 

He took the bottle and smiled again, that man was all smiles.

“Go to the staff room, you can wear my shirt, I have the tank anyway, I don't need it.”

You froze. You? Wear his shirt? Your brain was shutting down.

The staff room wasn't far but it was separated from the pool which meant you could freak out as much as you wanted. Chris' bag laid open on the bench in front of you, his shirt was neatly folded on top. It was a plain black shirt and it smelled of laundry detergent and baby powder. 

“Oh my god, he's not stinky like other men, I love him,” you whispered to yourself while you admired the shirt.

Maybe you were starting to like your summer job.

When you told Shuhua about the shirt incident she was adamant he liked you but you were still very reluctant to believe that. She kept bugging you and insisting that you should ask him out and that he was definitely into you. But still, being the stubborn woman you were, you kept to yourself and the summer swiftly came to an end. The last day of the job had a bitter taste to it, how would you survive without your hot lifeguard to gawk at? You didn't know.

The pool wasn't open, you were only supposed to put all of the pool chairs inside and lock up.

It was hard work and it was still very warm but you were getting paid, so you had to do it. Chris had other plans, he sent you in the staff room to make “inventory” while he carried inside all the chairs.

Y/N:

He's taking the chairs inside all by himself

His muscles look so sexy

I'm feeling hot and bothered rn ngl

Shuhua:

Ew

Just fuck already

“I wanted to surprise you but it seems like you were the one who surprised me,” Chris chuckled from behind your shoulder. 

The gasp you let out was inhuman. You were screwed. As a way to escape the situation you started to slowly back away from him, but soon your back hit the wall effectively trapping you. 

“You think my muscles are sexy?”

You nodded slowly.

“Feel them then.” His warm hand gripped yours and gently guided it to his arm.

“Very impressive,” you stuttered trying so hard not to faint on him.

Chris had his eyes fixed on you, he had this look, dark and intimidating. It was hot.

“Can I touch you?”

“YES!”

Your lips met in a soft chaste kiss, it was almost innocent, but his hands wandered your body. He gripped and kneaded your flesh feverishly. His plump lips trailed down your jaw and stopped at your neck. His link tongue darted out to lap at the skin.

Your mind was clouded with so much pleasure from only his mouth on your neck that you didn't notice his hand had slipped past your underwear until he pressed on your clit lightly. He had made you gasp twice that day, but the second one was for a completely different reason.

You were so wet it was easy for him to slip his fingers inside you. You instinctively threw your head back and smacked it a little too hard against the tiled wall.

“Careful baby,” he groaned. His fingers slipped out of you and a whine escaped your lips but your voice got caught in your throat when you saw what he did next. He kneeling. In front of you. And looking at you like you were a goddess.

“We should go out sometimes,” he said while he yanked your shorts down.

You definitely loved your summer job.

[transmutationisms]

sorry could you explain your chatgpt essay thing again? i get the general gist of it (who cares if they cheat) but i still cant grasp it entirely as someone who hasnt experienced the college system 💔 i had thought that essays were a foundational part of undergrad education? and so cheating on that part would essentially mean that: a) their education/understanding is "invalid" b) it discredits the work of other people in the same system/their classmates c) their future publications/written work in academia are going to be of worse quality d) in cases of people going to non academia jobs, like being a doctor or a lawyer, this would negatively impact their clients e) they have bad work ethic = will not survive job industry

my guesses are that just in general theres no direct correlation between these things but ppl assume there will be? and that if a plagiarized essay ruins everything then the system wasnt rlly that good?

the only one im rlly unsure of is the second one, but i suppose thats always been a problem with any type of academic cheating amongst peers, and will persist unless academic rankings/validation of excellence/general attitudes toward "success" r also banished. still, while i rlly dont care abt anyone i know cheating on stuff like this lol, i cant help but empathize w students struggling under that same system feeling frustrated. tho Man seeing the lack of empathy they, in turn, can have with chatgpt users. idk, is it just a lose lose situation until you get through the system?

ok sorry again and also thanks

hi, no worries. let me try to break down my position here.

i had thought that essays were a foundational part of undergrad education

i mean, this varies widely by course / degree / department. but, even when it's true, it doesn't mean that the essay is inherently a valuable or helpful exercise. undergrad essays tend to ask for one of a few very formulaic responses and ways of structuring an argument. essays also often have a specific prompt, which can be better or worse in terms of its potential to generate engagement with the course / material. often professors who are getting a lot of chatgpt essays turned in are designing essays poorly (ie, asking for the types of formulaic responses that students find unengaging and unhelpful for their own academic development), and / or failing to provide instruction and support in how to actually write an essay.

on a more fundamental level, we often take for granted that essays are and should be foundational to an undergrad education, but i simply don't think this is self-evident or always true! what are we training students to do, and why? there are certainly jobs, career paths, and academic research areas in which essay-writing is an important skill. there are others in which it's not. the assumption that all undergrads need to demonstrate the same sorts of writing skills says more about the university and what pedagogues value than it does about those students' actual chances for future career success / financial stability. if we're designing assignments that, for many students, are mere hoops to jump through, then we shouldn't be surprised that many of them find ways to make the hoop-jumping faster and easier.

so cheating on that part would essentially mean that: a) their education/understanding is "invalid"

again, what i'm trying to get at here is larger questions about what we value in education, and why. it's true that if you don't practice writing the type of essay the academy demands of you, you won't learn that skill. but, why do we assume that skill is useful, valuable, or necessary in the first place? how many people actually need to write that way outside of undergrad classrooms? even for those who are intending to pursue a career in academia, the writing taught in undergrad should be, at best, a stepping-stone on the path to more effective and interesting means of written communication. once again, if the skill being mandated by the university is not useful for students, it should not be surprising that many of them resent having to demonstrate it, and turn to tools like chatgpt instead.

b) it discredits the work of other people in the same system/their classmates

this is an argument that many educators make, and i wholeheartedly disagree with it! first of all, i simply do not believe that student a's academic performance is relevant to the assessment of student b's. if a professor is grading that way, that's terrible grading and a terrible pedagogical philosophy. if a student has learned something from their coursework, that shouldn't be undercut or devalued by anything that their classmates have or haven't done.

what this type of argument points to on a deeper level is the fact that university degrees have acquired a sort of double meaning. although the university likes to propagate high-minded rhetoric about the intrinsic value of education, the degree granted is a class barrier that serves to allow certain people access to certain (usually promised to be higher-paying) jobs, and bar others from these jobs. this is a large part of what i'm talking about when i say that the university serves to perpetuate and enforce class stratification. and their narrative about degrees being markers of individual merit and achievement is undercut by the fact that they also plainly fear losing prestige status by granting degrees to those students considered 'unworthy'. if you can make it through an undergrad education without learning the skills the university purports to teach, that's a pretty massive indictment of the university—which, remember, is collecting a lot of tuition money for these degrees.

c) their future publications/written work in academia are going to be of worse quality

lots of assumptions baked in here—that undergrad essay-writing teaches 'good' (effective / clear) writing; that many academics don't already write poorly by these metrics; that aspiring academics have no other way of learning written communication skills (eg, outside of the academy, or in grad school).

d) in cases of people going to non academia jobs, like being a doctor or a lawyer, this would negatively impact their clients

firstly, i would again point out that in many non-academic jobs, academic writing is simply not a necessary skill; secondly, in both of the examples you cite here, these are people who need to go through a lot more schooling and training after undergrad, where they pick up what written communication skills they actually do need (eg, legal writing looks nothing like standard undergrad essay-writing anyway); thirdly, MANY people getting an undergraduate degree are intending to pursue jobs for which they need neither undergrad essay-writing skills, nor further higher education—there are so many reasons a person might want / need a college degree, and so many careers in which this specific academic skillset is simply not relevant for them.

e) they have bad work ethic = will not survive job industry

again, i think this is making some pretty big unstated assumptions! in general i don't really think that 'work ethic' (or the related 'laziness') is a useful way to try to evaluate people's behaviour, and this is a good example of one way in which it fails. if, like i said, we are dealing with a system in which people are told they need to receive a degree in order to have access to jobs they want and financial stability they need; and in which many of them are being forced to demonstrate a specific writing skill they may never need again and may have no interest in; and in which they are often not even receiving adequate training and help to learn and demonstrate that skill, even if they do want to; and in which they may be working other jobs, caring for family members, dealing with disabilities the institution does not provide support for, or any number of other life circumstances that make schoolwork difficult at best to complete; and in which a tool exists that may be able to help them complete some of this work freely and quickly... like, i simply do not fault students for using that tool!

there are so many points of failure in this system long before we get to this moment: the increasing pressure to get a college degree in the first place; the poorly designed curricula that prioritise skills considered 'standard' (for whom? why?) over skills that students actually need or want to acquire; professors who don't actually teach students how to write, yet expect them to turn in essay assignments anyway; specific essay assignments that are uninteresting and / or unhelpful to students; lack of support for students who are struggling with their workload or assignments in any number of ways (and no, 'come to office hours' is not adequate support for so many students and situations).

i simply do not care about people 'cheating' a system that is so fundamentally broken and unjust. it doesn't matter. the ability to write an undergrad essay is such an incredibly trivial and specific skill, and one that most people simply do not need. it doesn't make a person generally 'smarter' (fake concept) and certainly does not make them any more competent at the vast majority of jobs, careers, or general life skills. even for those very few who do need to know this specific thing, i reject the assumption that the university is the only way to learn it, or even a particularly effective way. once again, if chatgpt is successfully completing assignments, maybe those assignments weren't very good in the first place! and even the theoretical amazing professor is simply not able to counter all of the structural issues and inequities in the university system that produce students' desire to turn to tools like chatgpt in the first place. the textbot itself is simply not the issue here.

[maracujatangerine]

80. A mysterious letter

CW: none

Yến carefully picked her way through the puddles that pooled on the concrete steps. Her purple converse were already damp, but she wanted to keep them from getting soaked.

She halted for a moment to shake off the black umbrella she’d borrowed from the newsroom, before stepping through the double doors in front of her. Warm air and the characteristic scents of steel, burnt rubber, ozone and people enveloped her.

Luckily, the train was on time and since it was the middle of the day there was a place for her to sit. She used her free hand to pull her ponytail tighter, glancing at her reflection in the window against the backdrop of never-ending night.

Checking the time on her phone, she leaned back in her seat. No rush.

Absentmindedly, she looked at the tattoo curving up the inside of her left underarm; -30- in black ink, flanked by flowers.

Yến had got the tattoo just the year before, while still in college. Her parents had been… displeased, to say the least.

But it had seemed so romantic to her, even important. She had wanted to use the old sign that indicated the end of a submitted article, to inscribe it on her own body as a way of showing her commitment to the values of truth and justice that she shared with the journalists who’d gone before her in the annals of history.

Of course, that was way before she had actually got her first job. Now, after months of reporting on cat exhibitions in Queens, petty conflicts between neighbours in Staten Island, the World’s biggest barbecue in Brooklyn and other odds and ends of community reporting that her colleagues happily pushed over to the youngest and greenest in their newsroom, her commitment to truth and justice looked more than a little ridiculous, even to herself.

This assignment was no exception. Her co-workers had laughed out loud when the letter had arrived. Written by cut-out pieces of text from newspapers and magazines, the message had been carefully taped together into what looked like a ransom letter from the opening scene of a second-rate detective series.

“Important info!” The letter read. “Bryant Park, W 42nd Street. Right lamp at entrance. Brown envelope. 14:00 hrs. Today.”

“Miss Nguyễn Thị Yến,” her editor James had said, with mock formality. “I’ve got a job for you.”

”Are you really going to send her?” Barbara had interjected. “What if it is dangerous?”

“Nah!” James had shaken his head. “It is most likely a marketing trick. Or nothing at all.” To Yến he continued. “But you can make a story about the hunt for it. Take some photos on the way, and describe the scenes for the readers. It will be a light fluff piece. Okay?”

Yến had nodded, of course. But before she left, Barbara had handed her some plastic gloves and a transparent ziplock bag.

“If it looks like a bomb, don’t touch it. And use the gloves, remember the anthrax scare.”

Now, well on her way, Yến felt a sting of concern, what if Barbara was right? But all her other colleagues had thought that it was just a joke, or some business looking for attention. James wouldn’t send her out alone if he had thought it was risky. She decided that she would use the gloves, anyway.

The rhythm of the swaying train, the hissing stops and starts, her early morning start, it all made her feel a bit sleepy. She closed her eyes, just for a moment.

Fun fact

”-30- has been traditionally used by journalists in North America to indicate the end of a story or article that is submitted for editing and typesetting. It is commonly employed when writing on deadline and sending bits of the story at a time, via telegraphy, teletype, electronic transmission, or paper copy, as a necessary way to indicate the end of the article.”

So says Wikipedia, and also adds the fascinating fact that no one knows where the term came from, but that it might have its roots in the American Civil War era.

Tag List Part 1: @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-em @whumpzone @wh-wh-whu @neuro-whump @carnagecardinal @cowboy-anon @whump-me-all-night-long @redwingedwhump @myst-in-the-mirror @haro-whumps @eatyourdamnpears @bloodsweatandpotato @pinkraindropsfell @whumptywhumpdump @theydy-cringeworthy @whump-in-progress @whumpsy-daisy @nicolepascaline @whumpcreations @briars7 @shiningstarofwinter @whumppsychology @alex-ember @miss-kitty-whumptastic @whumpy-writings @in-patient-princess @youtube-fandoms-bands @goblinchildindabog @mazeish @distinctlywhumpthing @inpainandsuffering @canniboylism @icannotweave @incoherent-introspection @kim-poce @broken-typewriter @the-monarch-whumperfly @whumpers-inc @grizzlie70 @lil-whumper @writingbackwards @sunflower1000 @wingedwhump @thecitythatdoesntsleep @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @onlybadendings @rabass @wolfeyedwitch @melancholy-in-the-morning

[nanowrimo]

The Importance of Filipino Stories: Celebrating Filipino American History Month

October is Filipino American History Month. With more than 4.2 million individuals of Filipino descent here in the U.S., we know there are at least 4.2 million stories to cherish and celebrate! Today’s story comes from Josie Gepulle, our fall 2022 Editorial intern and proud Filipino American. It wasn’t until I was in my second year of college that I got my first reading assignment on Filipino American stories.

At my university, I was taking a history course entitled “American Radicals and Reformers.” Halfway through the semester, I learned about Larry Itilong, a Filipino migrant laborer who went on to lead the five-year Delano Grape Strike in California and later co-founded the United Farm Workers of America.

I’m pretty sure my jaw actually dropped hearing about this. An actual Filipino American made his way into the history books, one who had a profound impact on the labor movement. 

That’s also when it really hit me: there was a lack of Filipino stories in my life.

I grew up in a small suburban Texas town. I was the first and only Filipino my community saw, so I don’t really blame anyone for their ignorance. It was frustrating, however, to receive several comments like, “Are you sure you’re Asian? You don’t look like it at all.” or “Where is the Philippines anyway?” I didn’t understand at that time because I’m proud of my heritage, but what does that mean to a world that doesn’t even know you exist? The most recognition I’ve gotten is from veterans recalling war buddies or travelers who visited Manila once.

I learned the history of the Philippines from my dad, not school. The Philippines, it seems, had no place in the story of America, despite being one of its former colonies. Even the mainstream media barely acknowledged our culture and our community. Any reference to the Philippines seemed to only refer to Manila and how the language was Tagalog. I couldn’t relate to that. My parents are from Bacolod, a city in central Philippines, where the community spoke Illongo. The narrative America wanted to tell about the Philippines, as limited as it was, was not one I could fit into.

It took me a long time to identify as a Pinoy writer. That same year at college when I learned about Larry Itliong, I attended a special event where I heard Jose Antonio Vargas, the famed journalist and immigration rights activist, and openly undocumented Filipino American, give a talk about his book, Dear America: Notes from an Undocumented Citizen. He, too, was a storyteller and writer, just like I wanted to be.

I finally realized I wasn’t alone. I didn’t need to be the author who put the Philippines in the history book. Several writers already did that for me. Carlos Bulosan wrote the famous America Is in the Heart, establishing the Filipino American perspective in literature. Then there are the writers of today, like Elaine Castillo with her book America Is Not the Heart, a clear callback to Bulosan. While Filipino Americans may have different interpretations of their identities, these stories are very much in dialogue with each other.

Each story, including mine, is only a small piece in a much larger puzzle. My own perspective that only represents a tiny fraction of Filipino history. The Philippines is made up of 7000+ islands and has 120+ spoken languages. We have our own history and mythology that existed long before the Americans came and long before the first colonizers, the Spaniards, arrived as well. While colonialism has tried time and time again to erase our stories, remembering our traditions and history is how they live on. We don’t want these stories to become forgotten simply because they’re left out of school curriculums. However, I do have to take a moment to be grateful for virtual spaces, especially those for writers. While my family is no longer the only Filipino family in my city, it was online where I met my very first Pinoy friends. Together, we traded experiences, laughing at the little tics that our families share. That, too, is an important part of the story. My friends and I aren’t famous, but aren’t those cherished moments together part of our experience as well?

And well, NaNoWriMo is the perfect time to explore your own stories, isn’t it? I remember being drawn to the challenge a long time ago, when I was a tiny middle schooler who felt so lonely in the giant world. NaNo made me believe that my story truly mattered, not just to everyone in the Philippines and America, but to me, the person who all my writing is eventually for. There’s no way I, or anyone for that matter, can accurately describe the story of every single Filipino, let alone Filipino American, out there. But you can talk about your story. Personally, I want to write characters who speak Ilonggo or grew up the only Filipino in their class. Maybe your characters will speak Cebuano or Ilocano. No matter what, Pinoys will get to be main characters! They’ll have grand adventures or share quiet moments with their loved ones. We’ll share our culture, our heritage with the world.

Together, our story will be told. Dungan ta sulat!

Josie Gepulle is a longtime NaNoWriMo fan, spending her teenage years lurking on the YWP forums and procrastinating her novel writing. She loves hearing the unique stories that come from writers all over the world and believes every voice is worth listening to. She enjoys the many different forms storytelling comes in, doing everything from analyzing TV shows to drawing her favorite characters. She can be found scribbling notes or doodling with an array of pens by her side. If you’d like to learn more about Filipino American History Month, here are some more sites to explore.

10 Ways to Celebrate Filipino American History Month

National Today

Filipino American National Historical Society

FAHM Resources and Creators to learn from (IG Post)

[the-assignment]

Blog #2 - Parable of The Sower Prompt

This week for our assignment we were actually given a prompt to follow – which is something new and makes someone like me – who isn’t a very creative person – very anxious. But it was supposed to be a fun assignment, so I tried to let go and not to get too overwhelmed (haha JK I was).

Explain TWO (2) real-life issues that make it necessary to create your Earthseed community. What are you seeking shelter from?

Though there are certainly more than two real-life issues that would make it necessary to create my own version of Earthseed, if I had to narrow it down to only two, it would be the rampant poverty and food insecurity that our current (and historical) landscape is living through in America. As someone who was born into generational poverty (and am working on breaking that cycle – First-Gen College student FTW!) as well as someone who has always struggled to get adequate food and nutrition – both of these sit heavily on my heart.

Quote two (2) Earthseed verses from Parable of the Sower and show how you will apply them to your community. You may be creative in your interpretation.

I think the most famous or quoted verse would apply to my own community:

“All that you touch

You Change.

All that you Change

Changes you.

The only lasting truth

Is Change

(God is change)”

As well as the verse:

“Belief

Initiates and guides action---

Or it does nothing”

I think these both will be incredibly important to my community as the first will be used as an encouragement that things CAN be changed and that you can be changed as well – that that’s the nature of the game. So, especially in terms of poverty and food insecurity (and its cycle), working on the assumption that it can be changed (while not shaming the victims) will be critical.

The second verse will be used as a way, to not just believe that certain things can be challenged and changed (like verse one), but that action needs to be taken as well.

Belief that Change can Happen and the Will and Action for It To, will be how I apply these two verses to my community.

Explain WHERE you will create your Earthseed community to be safe.

In the beginning, my community will be created… in my small studio apartment, I guess. I think it’s a safe and convenient location. I don’t anticipate us all needing to live in the same spot at first – but it’ll be a safe haven and a spot where anyone in our community can stop in. Where anyone can come in and be accepted and safe and welcome. It will be the place that can start us off as we learn and grow together.

Who can join your community and why? Who can’t join? Why not?

Not everyone is invited to my community for obvious safety reasons. For not only physical but emotional and mental safety. Individuals who refuse to see that poverty and poorness and the other symptoms of these things are not because people just “want to be poor” or they believe people are just not working hard enough – are not welcome. Individuals who want to join must believe that poverty, inequity, food scarcity and insecurity are systemic and typically and intentionally affect certain people – like minorities, POC, women, etc. Any individual who believes those things and wants or needs a place that is safe can join as long as they agree to pool resources together (more about this in community survival section).

What will your leadership model be for your community?

I’ve actually taken a few courses at UCLA about this and there are quite a few ways to go about this. And I think I would combine a few. It would be important to have an open forum type of leadership, where everyone has a say and contributes. This will bring about a multitude of different and inventive ideas that may not have been heard otherwise. As well as gaining knowledge and understanding amongst the members of the community – so no one feels left out or unheard. Though we may need to be a democracy where the majority wins on the matters at hand in order to actually make decisions.

Create a FUTURE TECHNOLOGY (one on the horizon, not something like teleportation or time travel) to help improve life at your Earthseed community.

Oh man, this is a tough one. I would say every member would have a small handheld device that’s small enough to carry with you and cleans/purifies water (because the tap water in California is gross) as perhaps nothing is as lifegiving as water. Or something like a small portable greenhouse that can adapt to any needed climate in order to grow food there year-round – no matter the season or weather.

Explain/show how your Earthseed community will SURVIVE.

Well, I think the important part is that we will pool resources together. A person may not be able to survive off what they make/have but with the contribution of multiple people it can be easier. Additionally, those with different experiences will share what they know/have learned – enriching the whole community. It takes a village! As people either move on or away from the community (hopefully passing on what they have learned or shared there to newbies) more individuals will know of our community and can join and/or contribute.

Explain/show what TWO steps your Earthseed community will make to build a better future, i.e. education, housing, conservation, farming, etc.

One way we’ll build a better future is through education – all kinds. There is more than one type of “smarts” and while higher formal education is one way – it’s not the only way. So, sharing street smarts or how to navigate the system or financial literacy or how to plant and care for different types for plants / foods or understand social cues are all types of education that we can use as a stepping stone. (As well as helping individuals who don’t know their options about formal higher education – and having someone like me – who has had to navigate and learn about it on my own – can help them).

Secondly, perhaps we can expand – pool resources as stated above and buy land for housing and farming / food. Being able to grow and have access to our own food (veggies, dairy like milk and eggs, etc.) can not only help feed the community but give skills to individuals so they can have work and also, once well-established we could sell some of the items to help continue to our community and also give some to others in need. I think both these things will help the members of my community make a better future for us and for others.

[lgbtqmanga]

New Releases Jan. 17, 2023

Adachi and Shimamura (Light Novel) Vol. 10 By Hitoma Iruma

HONESTY. COMMUNICATION. COMMITMENT.

It’s the start of a new year, and Shimamura has finally come to terms with what it means to be Adachi’s girlfriend. As Valentine’s Day approaches, it’s time to stop running away… Can Shimamura find the courage to do the right thing?

Barbarities vol. 1 by Tsuta Suzuki

In this beautiful Boys’ Love/BL romance inspired by Renaissance Europe, a dashing viscount tries to woo a serious nobleman!

When Lord Montague’s life is threatened, Viscount Adam Canning is assigned to be his bodyguard. Adam is a blond, dashing nobleman who is able to woo anyone who catches his eye. When he sees Lord Montague’s nephew, Joel, Adam is immediately smitten. But Joel is too busy rooting out crime and corruption to fall for Adam’s charms. Of course, that just makes Adam want him even more! Can Joel stay focused, or will he fall for the devilishly handsome viscount?

GUNBURED × SISTERS vol. 3 by Wataru Mitogawa

WHEN NUNS CRY

The pureblood that Dorothy and Maria encountered spoke of another half-vampire, offering an invaluable clue to Maria’s sister’s whereabouts! But this turns out to be a short-lived victory for the pair, whose relationship runs into its first major roadblock over Dorothy’s treatment of Shannon. Will they be able to reconcile their differences?

I Want to Be a Wall vol. 2 by Honami Shirono

Any good love story starts at the beginning: Where and how did the lovebirds meet? Was it love at first sight? And most importantly, was there a spark? For Yuriko and Gakurouta, their initial meeting was nothing to write home about—after all, matchmaking services aren’t unheard of. But a chance second encounter on the street revealed that as an asexual woman and gay man, they might have much more in common than they initially assumed. And in that moment, they felt not a spark but something better: the seed of a friendship, ready to take root and bloom.

Is Love the Answer? by Uta Isaki

When it comes to love, high schooler Chika wonders if she might be an alien. She’s never fallen for or even had a crush on anyone, and she has no desire for physical intimacy. Her friends tell her that she just "hasn't met the one yet," but Chika has doubts... It's only when Chika enters college and meets peers like herself that she realizes there’s a word for what she feels inside--asexual--and she’s not the only one. After years of wondering if love was the answer, Chika realizes that the answer she long sought may not exist at all--and that that's perfectly normal.

Our Not-So-Lonely Planet Travel Guide vol. 3 by Mone Sorai 

Super serious Asahi Suzumura and laidback, easygoing Mitsuki Sayama might seem like an odd couple, but they made a deal; they'll vacation around the world and when they get back to Japan, they'll get married. As they travel from country to country, the different people, cultures and cuisine they encounter begin to bring them closer together. After all they're not just learning about the world, but about themselves too.

A Polar Bear in Love vol. 5 by Koromo

Orca warns Polar Bear about his cross-species romance, but Polar Bear isn’t going to give up on his love for Seal so easily… Meanwhile, Cathy finds an encounter of their own! The long-awaited Volume 5 is finally here!

Welcome Back, Alice vol. 4 by Shuzo Oshimi

What is Kei to you?

Yo doesn't exactly get what love or dating is. After all, things ended up in a disaster with Mitani, his ex-girlfriend. And for some reason, he feels much more comfortable when he's with Kei. Sure, Kei may look like a girl, but there's something more to him than just his appearance that allures Yo.

And when Kei makes a move on Yo, Yo doesn't stop him. In fact, he might even enjoy it…

How Do We Relationship? vol. 8 by Tamifull

Miwa finally feels like she’s getting the hang of the new shape her relationship with Saeko has taken. It’s hard to switch from being girlfriends to friends, but her growing connection with Tamaki has been a great distraction. Except now things with the cute underclassman have started to feel weird, and Miwa isn’t sure she’s brave enough to ask why. Will her second relationship fizzle out before it even starts?

[daedalusdavinci]

📓

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

ive spent a lot of time recently trying to remember the hs fics i always dreamed id write one day, but lost motivation for before i ever could. i feel like i used to have endless inspiration and i guess im hoping reflecting on that will help me reconnect with it now

i think i wanted to write a collegestuck fic, where dave and sollux were roommates and dave had a shitty job at a coffeeshop and that he swore was basically step one to becoming a dj because they had live music sometimes and thats *almost* a club (but he doesnt want to be a dj, bro was a dj, hes studying archaeology and hes never been happier and he spends too many hours bent over textbooks in the library with aradia just because he loves it, its everything he wanted when he was a kid and it feels like freedom in his hands, but jade asks him what he wants to be and he says the sickest dj there is, and college is just to tide him over until then, and john asks him what he wants to be and he says a director, so he can make movies even shittier than johns dumbass favorites, and rose asks him what he wants to be and he says solluxs sugar baby, because if you dont admit you want something its harder for people to take it from you)

i dont know what the ship wouldve been, im sure there were times where i was full on applebee2 to the end and times where it wouldve been dvekat and so on and so forth, but i know that dave moved across several states so he could go to school with his friends and i know that he and sollux were assigned to the same dorm and get along in the way that only two irritating nerdboys confined to one room can (which is to say that theyre besties and also they hate each other), because i feel very passionately about sollux and dave being friends just as much as dave and aradia being friends.

i think it would be funny if eridan was studying abroad and was one of those annoying europeans that cant go ten seconds without shitting on america (why are you here then, karkat asks him every ten seconds) and was generally just. literally so insufferable but also had no real idea what he wanted to do w his life so he was just majoring in business even tho he hated it (he switches to history, eventually, and is much happier for it), and i think he studies at daves coffeeshop and gets the kind of coffee that makes dave think hes a pretentious hipster (he is), only he doesnt actually do a lot of studying at all and spends most of his time checking out dave bc hes stupid, and instead of flirting with him he insults him constantly, bc hes stupid. dave literally hates him.

on the side i think id want to spend some time exploring dave reconnecting with rose as long lost siblings and john and jade navigating that weird space of "okay ive known you online forever but this is what knowing you in real life is like huh". i think id go jadrose for this au and emphasize jade having a very complicated relationship with romance bc who am i if i dont make someone aspec. john burns out bad towards the end of their first year and is in his depression era

but yeah. all that, i guess. i came up w a lot of ideas for college aus when i was finishing up community college bc i was so excited to get out and go to uni and so theres a lot of like, idea scraps floating around and maybe someday id like to do something with that, especially now that ive gone to uni and know what its actually like

[phanfinger]

I'm in a multiple subject credential program currently.

So I get to student teach. This is not my first rodeo. I've student taught two times before.

First time was 9 years ago. I was a child development major at the community college that I went to. I did the practicum class, for preschool. Oh my god, I had the worst experience ever. The mentor teacher or whatever the fuck she was called was so incredibly bad at giving my constructive criticism. I thought that I was bad because she never had something nice to say me ever. I seriously remember that the only positive thing she ever said to me was that I noticed things in children that she did not notice. I was in the preschool classroom once a week for four hours. I spent the entire time on edge because of her. But I did enjoy being around the children. When I was getting my end of the year review from her from my lecture teacher, I really thought that I was going to fail. My lecture teacher misplaced my review from her so she called her right then to review me. To my disbelief, the mentor teacher gave me a glowing review. I was incredibly shocked. Fuck that bitch honestly. I almost quit the whole major all together.

But I continued on. I got into a California State University. Majored in Early Childhood Studies. I still enjoyed learning about children. I enjoyed my lecture teachers. It had its own student teaching program. But uh oh! Covid happened! So student teaching had to be online. It fucking sucked so bad. Not because the children I had to observe were annoying or anything but mostly because of the state of the world. My teachers assigned us videos to watch and create curriculum that way. It was not ideal for sure. I got my degree in early childhood studies in spring of 2021. I was so done. I was finished. I was burnt out so badly. Got a shitty preschool job. I quit after three days.

But then I got a good preschool job. I stayed there for three years. There was a moment in my first year where my co teacher's husband had open heart surgery and so she was out for 2 weeks. I was able to run that classroom. I was so happy. I felt like that I proved that mentor teacher bitch wrong. I could do this. I can be a teacher. I just finished there about two weeks ago. It feels weird but I needed to move on.

Why? Well, TK (Transitional Kindergarten, which takes kids as early as 4 years old) is taking enrollment away from preschool. Unless I wanted to work with children who were barely 3 years old and not potty trained, I am shit out of luck. Also, preschool doesn't pay shit. I fully believe in preschool though. If you have the means to, send your child to several years of preschool. Your child needs the social skills, believe me. Your child knowing their ABCs and their numbers up to 20 doesn't mean shit if they're hitting their friends, taking things without permission, or being unable to listen to people in general.

Anyway, I've been assigned 3rd grade. Quite different than preschool. I think it's pretty funny because I actually repeated the third grade. My family was moving across the city we lived in and my science skills were not up to my science teacher mom's standards. So moved schools but repeated third grade. I remember my second year of third grade being much easier and reading a lot. My teacher was on the verge of retirement so she didn't care what I did when I finished my work. I am very excited to relearn the material again 21 years later!

I've met up with my cooperating teacher twice now. She seems fine as a person.

However, her entire classroom and the way she has organized her classroom is entirely Harry Potter themed and based. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty impressive but at the same time so incredibly cringe. I mean, she's had years to change it and she hasn't. And she's basically admitted to me that she has spent so much time, effort, and money making her classroom look and operate like this. She asked me if I was a fan. I said that I had read all the books and seen all the movies based on the books. She interrupted me and said that I was way ahead of her previous student teachers. I told her that I was 30 that I grew up with it but I'm not a fan of it anymore.

She's vaguely aware of J.K's assholery but not really. I told her what J.K. just recently did and her response was literally, "Well, that is too bad."

She's kind of an ally. I guess. A very basic one. I referred to my non binary twin as "they" and she stopped me and told me to say that it again as she wants to get pronouns right. Her 20 year old majoring in art daughter always yells at her about getting pronouns right for her friends. I took the opportunity to tell her that I was agender. She was as supportive as she could muster I guess. But I told her that in the classroom that I was a woman. She said that was best because the elementary school that I've been assigned to hosts military families and they can be a bit conservative. It makes sense because there are two local bases.

Anyway, first day is Wednesday. I'm hoping to muster enough energy to write about my experiences every day but we'll see.

[p-t-f-s]

forgot it was possible to see sideblog notifs and im. surprised they have followers but then again so does this blog lmaooooooo. i should make vents again. i miss that. no time like the present.

fuck i need to work on my project thats past due and due tonight and if not turned in would drop me to a C but god. i hate this class and dont wanna but im already on my second retake and this time it was genuinely so much fuckin easier. even if the exact same professor bc shes the only one teaching this class did even worse with scheduling and assignment access this semester. and i genuinely have not been this suicidal since fuckin high and middle school. two different points in each. most bc of my middle school insomnia and All That That happened but my high school wasnt much worse considering i was working part time to full time my senior year of high school while also getting my associate's as my mom was kicking me out/to live with my dad in the near the end of the school year bc of me turning 18 and her being "free" of her legal duties to me [she was not bc by our law that SHE AS A FUCKING FEDERAL JUDGE KNEW was till the child of dicerce is 18 and GRADUATED HS DIPLOMA] she was finally free to move to the opposite side of the country/the political problems and backlash of challenging the baked in theosociological power structure of our city. my birthday was march and graduation was june. literal months and she couldnt wait that fuckin long. and so for the months leading up to my birthday and after i had been living out of my car which both my dad bought for me as an agreement between him and my mom as the end of his child support payments to her and so i wouldnt take the public bus after my mom forgot we had to lie to him that i was being driven to school so he would let me get my college degree bc i had to be at community college at 16 in a Large Dangerous City on the Worst Side Of Town. that shit sucked. i was Stressed and goddamn does it suck being an adult living under your own power and money, no matter how feeble, to know that even when situations are technically objectively better you can still be hella fuckin depressed. and fucking obsessive intrusive thoughts do NOT help but fuck do i wish i had the time to call for help to be able to see a fucking doctor for the first time in my life. like an actual full general doctor and getting an actual checkup and not just a walgreens sick note/athletic packet check. only having ever gone after socially pressuring ur dad by asking his gf for advice while hes halfway done in the bathroom so the conversations still going as he exits so SHE can hound on him instead of being brushed off as an anxious teenage girl bc "whats a doctor going to do?" when asked to go to the er. whos insurance ur on bc you asked him months ago while working on moving in and you couldnt go alone without ur guardian but youd been unable to hear from one ear for months after multiple home/self remedy attempts to clear wax blockage assumption. or my mother coming to visit curious as to why i still have acne after turning 18 bc you shouldnt have acne past 18 and making a dermatologist appointment she paid for to help but having previously told me that she didnt believe in getting sick bc she hadnt gotten sick for years.

and now i have about an hour left to work on a partial coding project bc now IT management is apparently the job of accounting now. i get rationally why theyre doing it and why its important but its fucking stupid and i hate it and again its fucking stupid. anyways. heres to hoping that it goes alright ig but fucking kill me and i hate everything but i swear to fuck if i dont get my bachelors next year im going to lose my shit

[senatushq]

NAME. Kadir Osman AGE & BIRTH DATE. 27 & May 25th, 1997 GENDER & PRONOUNS. Male & He/Him SPECIES. Vampire ( Leech ) BLOODLINE. Unknown OCCUPATION. Researcher at Labyrinth FACE CLAIM. Emre Bey

biography

( tw: blood ) Fantasy was an easy escape from the arguments that would go on in the small, cramped apartment. It was always like this for him, his parents would fight over the dishes in the sink, dinner not being on the table, an unpaid bill, money owed. Missing lighters or beers. Anything, everything. There was a time where Kadir thought that if he just stayed out of it then it wouldn’t ever involve him, that whatever was going on outside his door was something he could shut out entirely. His toys were rudimentary, but he’d scrape together enough money to buy notebooks from the local store and in them he’d fill all the stories that ran rampant in his head. Media was another escape and often that influence came out in the pages, brave nights, assassins who took on the world’s most dangerous people and won. In his stories there was always a saviour, a victor who saw the world for what it was, but reality was far less simplistic. In school he was a nobody, someone who was almost always late, whose interests didn’t align with the mainstream. The friends he made were people who he could amalgamate to, with ideas that he could adapt to be his own. He was smart, sharp, observant, and he approached problems creatively - often using tools or formulas he produced on his own or by simply thinking outside of the box. 

College was where he thought he’d find himself, the question had come up so many times before: what do you want to do with your life? But Kadir didn’t really have an answer, after years of shutting out the world’s arguments he had a hard time thinking beyond his next class, assignment, or semester. At first the creative arts interested him, but the criticism that came along with producing a personal piece of work didn’t sit well with him. Science, mathematics, something either was or it wasn’t, and if he had an idea then all he had to do was prove it. It was in his second year that he discovered this about himself, what he really loved was breaking ground, thinking outside of the box, and more than anything he loved to be right. 

One night when he was walking home from a party he was attacked, though it hardly felt that way at the time. Teeth broke the skin of his neck and immediately Kadir’s brain released a rush of dopamine that made the tips of his fingers tingle, all the way down to his toes. It was unlike anything that Kadir had experienced before, fulfilling and somehow erotic all at once, it was over too soon and the man responsible was gone. A dreamy wonder sat fixed on Kadir’s expression as he gingerly touched the place where he’d been bitten, replaying the sensation in his head over and over. He knew that he should have hated it, that he should have called someone, anyone, but what pained him most was not even knowing the individual’s name. Kadir had never seen him before, he thought if he had then he would certainly have remembered him. 

From that night on the passionless student changed to obsessive, the thought of never seeing this man before turned to painful anguish, heartache as he tried to understand what it was that had formed such a considerable tie within him. Kadir didn’t understand why he couldn’t get the man out of his head, but he was a scientist, and when he drew and analysed his own blood using the facilities on campus he found trace amounts of what he’d assumed were the reason for what he was feeling. Something about the creature’s saliva was reacting with his body and as his system gradually rid itself of the intruder, Kadir felt its loss. He went on to finish his degree, completing his undergraduate studies in cellular biology with a paleontological focus. While his thesis on vampires made him the laughing stock of the entire academic community, it attracted the attention of The Eye.  

Rome was the centre of the supernatural world, under the tutelage of the overseer Kadir’s range of knowledge vastly increased. The Eye had knowledge that was guarded from the rest of the world, libraries of research going back centuries upon centuries. Previously known as The Eye of Horus, the humans had been studying the supernatural world since ancient Egypt, developing methods of neutralising or weaponizing their abilities every step of the way. In truth, Kadir had very little interest in weapons, but neither did he care if his work resulted in the production of them. What he cared about was understanding how these creatures ticked, and if the sensation could be replicated without the pesky emotional connection that came with being turned into a thrall. 

Sacrificed by someone he assumed was a friend, Halloween brought Kadir’s mortal life to a close. His soul offered to the necronomicon, he died with vampire blood in his system and awoke when the chaos of the night had subsided. A creature of the night that craved blood but could do nothing but paw at the walls of the cavern where he’d fallen. The evening’s destruction trapped Kadir within the catacombs and even with whatever strength being undead afforded him, there was nothing that the vampire could do but scratch at the stone while he quietly starved and petrified. 

A red wedding brought a river of blood over the streets of Rome and through the old roads blood of the vampires who fought and died trickled below, finding its way into the desiccated Kadir’s system. The conflict above loosened the catacombs around him as aspects of the divine fought in the streets of Rome, putting down and curing those that they could while the wedding attendees retreated to safety and the lycans of Lupercalia clashed with the undead. Feral and starved, Kadir burst from his makeshift crypt as the conflict subsided, burrowed his teeth into the closest vampire he could find and was reborn once more. 

Connections to The Eye abandoned, the leech was made to exploit what resources remained for him beyond the facility. A limited supply of drugs meant to suppress creatures like him was a start, and a lycan he’d known in life as the subject of his fixations was another. The rancour brought a steady stream of blood for Kadir to feed from, but if The Eye could manufacture human blood - then why couldn’t he make a surrogate for vampires? He knew what would happen if he returned to The Eye as he was, a monster and a vampire all rolled into one, so his work continued in private from a makeshift laboratory in the very crypts that had been his tomb for so long. 

personality

+ intelligent, observant, patient – gullible, asocial, clinical

played by shane. est. he/him.

[violetskies65]

Mercury Retrograde 8/24/23-9/14/23

Just when I think I am getting my life together, and I am full of optimistic thoughts, mercury turns its ass around backwards and screws everything up.

I work a full time job now, albeit an easier one than retail or fast food. I would classify myself as an ambivert, but due to this job switch, it is like I've lost my people skills. My fake customer service skills, and my overall tolerance to stand in one spot and be berated for stuff way beyond my control.

With that being said, my new job isn't exactly easy, and it has it's moments. I won't go into detail, but I am able to afford my nice car, do my homework, and have time to travel out of state for days at a time. I am glad I finally have time for my blog, my newest book and concept ideas, and more. On day one of retrograde, a mistake occurred in my workplace.

I was anxious. I felt nauseous and terrible. Really, it was all downhill from there.

I am a Gemini, and a proud one at that, though perhaps that is just my Leo moon coming in charge. I am a very mercurial being as well, with a quick mind. Even during retrogrades such as this, my mind seems to not shut up, even with new ideas. But alas, I am lethargic, grouchy, unmotivated, and hopeless. I even have ceased writing on my current project as I do not want to add a bunch of unclear jargin, and screwing up the rest of the first chapter.

The days went by. Then, I overslept, dealt with car issues, and now I am coming into work 30 minutes late. I cannot get to work on time to save. my life, but this time, it just seems worse. Mix my sleep schedule with road work and you have me, a walking grumpy disaster.

Then, you have me waking up to 4 f's. Low grades, due to technological errors and mix-ups. I was about to cry. I simply wanted to hurdle up into a ball and cry. That's it. My second time dropping out of college. Maybe college simply isn't for me, no matter the major.

I would later go on to resolve these grades. Everything during this retrograde seems to resolve itself, but not without leaving me in a constant panic and state of worry. Now, I feel like I have to try 10x harder to read my textbooks and complete my assignments. I feel like a hermit. I'm grouchy, feel I can't get anyone to travel with me, yet my friends and I are all booked up with work. It's never been an issue before, but I can't communicate to save my life. Usually, communication is the last thing affected during these retrograde periods, although I may have ignored flare-ups of irritability, confusion, and misunderstandings in the past.

I think every difficult period like this should be observed. I find myself also trying to rush things through mercury retrogrades. More so than usual. it just feels I am on a time limit, and that I am a failure, when I have came a long way, and am most obviously not. I cannot wait for this period to end, and this time, I am taking away important lessons and doing a reflection on myself, and my everyday flaws such as time management and organization, hyperfixations, and adhd/phone paralysis. I wish you all the very best during mercury retrograde, and especially to those who just started school, or are going back this fall. My life may feel as if it is falling apart, but I know, deep down, it is not, and this blog is one of the reasons why I keep pursuing my writing dream.

[zerobaseonefics]

Ok so I think I confused TWICE's "Feel Special" with another song that I thought was a happy song but was actually a sad song. "Feel Special" is about feeling insignificant but then finding your purpose, which makes more sense in my head. I keep hearing "you made me feel special" which is why I probably thought it was sad song.

Also, please explain why I'm Yujin and Taerae (while you're at it) s'il vous plaît.

I also read your answer to someone asking if you are friends irl that like kpop...twice to make sure I was reading it right.

i have none but it's really by choice ‼️ not to sound like a bully but i'm sorry some ppl of the community aRE SO WEIRD??????

You are right. There's weird people in the community. I think it's every community in my opinion.

like everytime i communicate with one irl they are scary asf. i remember in 11th grade there was this girl who wrote me a love letter asking me to be the hyuna to her dawn like 💀💀

DSKGHIUSG--

she also took a picture of me to whitewash me cuz she said i don't look asian enough when i told her i'm half viet 👹

OKAY that's so rude of her WTF? Also, I think I'm illiterate (?) but when do you mean by whitewash? Which definition is it?

"to intentionally hide some kind of wrongdoing, error, or unpleasant situation"

"to describe a minority who has assimilated with western society"

...neither? both?? Either I'm soooo sorry to hear you experienced that.

and they just talk about nothing else then kpop i just can't do that shit

Ah yeah, so scary. There was this girl in my second year of uni (another word for "college") and all she would talked to me was BTS or if I could help her with her school assignments (reasons she didn't do it was also BTS related 💀).

Personally I do know people who like listening to KPOP but don't talk about it 24/7 and no intense fans for me loool.

---

Have a lovely day, venom 😌

OH DAMN bro you got me confused asf i was like since when was this a break up song??? how did i never understand that?? your confusion was legit tho i understand how you got it twisted 😭

my explaination for the taerae/yujin vibes ‼️ despite being an extrovert, i sometimes feel like yujin is..... confused abt things lIKEBDBSJS HE JUST SEEMS AKWARD IN SOME SITUATION AND I FEEL LIKE IT'S ALSO YOUR CASE. for taerae, well first it's obvious i'd think about him for you because of your username... but apart from this, even if there's this joke about taerae and his loser vibes, i think like he's super cool but in his own way. that's also how i feel about you. plus i sometimes catch you writing poetry and idk it's such a taerae thing to me

yessss every community, especially this big, is obliged to have its part of weird ppl 😭 now about the whitewashing thing. in kpop, photographer, companies etc, tend to take a normal picture of the idol and edit to make their skin whiter. example here :

and that's literally what she did to me 😀

the thing is there is a big part of the community that relies on their favs to make them feel better to the point where they kind of become obsessed. that's why a lot of people who stop listening to kpop are making a big deal out of it and criticizing the community when they leave... kpop is not the problem, it's just music in another language. if it was toxic for you, then you were the problem.

it's nice that you know regular fans then!! if i ever came across some of them i would have probably befriended them but it never happened so yeah 😭