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#its like. hes my friend. hes like right here next to me sometimes and I'm just like. wow. u deserve all the love in the world my friend
shadowsingercassia · 2 days
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Hiya, bb! 🫶
Vi here! Little fic request (no pressure ❤️)
So basically, it’s a Azriel x Y/N (because we all love Azzy, 🥰) Reader is Nesta’s friend and she asks if she can join the Valkyrie training and Nesta is like “ofc bb” but since they are so far in training, Nesta sets Reader up with Azriel for private training, and Az is like “ok”
But Nesta doesn’t inform our favourite bat-boy that Reader is actually really good at training and ends up kicking Azzy’s butt in their first lesson, and then Az becomes obsessed with her 😍
I’m not making much sense but I’d love to see if you could write it! If anyone can bring this story to life, it’s you 🥰
Love ya Xx ✨🤍
I absolutely love this request (always love my badass readers)!! 🤭❤️
Love you too, Vi!! Thank you for requesting this 💕
Also I'm really sorry for sometimes disappearing for a week or two 😭
So anywayssss
Training Gone... Right? | Azriel x reader
Summary: read message
Warnings: mentions of blood reader being a LITTLE violent while training with Azriel (its not too graphic dont worry!) 😌, cute little obsessed Azriel 😊💕 (also there is a curse word but ignore it) let me know if I missed anything!!
Words: 1.4k!
Little note: 3 povs, (Nesta, Azriel and reader) but mostly it's Az!
Nesta:
Nesta looked up from her book as she saw you entering the library. A determined expression had found its way onto your face. She reached over for her bookmark, closing the book and placing it on the table beside her.
As you approached her, your steps firm and confident, she raised an eyebrow. You stopped in front of her, and your gaze met hers. She couldn't have helped it when her grey eyes softened.
"I want to learn how to fight," you state, your hands clasped behind your back. Nesta's face brike off into a smirk. Clearly, she had been waiting for you to ask her.
Knowing you, and your past, it was logical that you would want to learn how to fight, and honestly, she was eager to train you.
After that, you joined the Valkyries, training with them daily. Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie all taught you how to fight. The different techniques and fighting styles. Nesta observed you throwing a punch at Emerie, catching her off-guard. She knew you would be almost - if not - better than the rest of the Valkyries in no time. When you were determined, nothing would get in your way.
And Nesta had gotten another thought, late at night, as she read the new novel she borrowed from the library. She would set you up to train with Azriel.
Of course, you had seen Azriel once or twice while visiting Nesta in the House of Wind, but he doesn't know you were training with the Valkyries. Nesta had made sure of that.
The next day in training, she approached you as you ran through the stretches. Sunlight hit your skin, making it look golden. Taking her place close to you, she began stretching as well. "Do you remember Azriel?" She asked, turning her head slightly to look into your face.
She saw you pause for a moment before you answered her. "The shadowsinger, right?" You asked her back, furrowing your eyebrows. Nodding, she answered, "yes, the shadowsinger."
"Right, what about him?" You asked her, confused about why she would bring him up like that. Nesta rarely spoke of the shadowsinger with you. "I was wondering if you would be alright with inviting him to train with us tomorrow," she said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.
"I wouldn't mind it, no," you said, still partially confused, but the anticipation of tomorrow gnawed at you. The door opened, Gwyn striding in, giving both you and Nesta a wave. Smiling, you wave back at her.
Reader (Y/n):
Training was surprisingly light today, and while it usually lasted longer, Nesta had retired early, then Gwyn, and lastly Emerie, leaving you alone. Not that you minded it, Nesta told you she was going to spend the afternoon with her mate, Gwyn saying Clotho needed her help in the library, and then Emerie deciding to spend the rest of the day doing her own things.
However, you wanted to train a bit more, as you always did. Perhaps that was why you had gotten so good, because you stayed about another few hours and practice what you learned that day.
As the sun slowly set behind the Illyrian mountains, the last rays disappearing beneath the horizon, you took a break. Sitting down, you roll back your shoulders, watching the sky shift from the golden hues to a dark blue. A sense of calm washed over you when the stars started appearing like bright flecks against the darkness.
You lost track of time, too deep into your thoughts to come out. Though eventually, you winnowed to your bedroom, taking a quick bath, and laying off to rest.
Azriel:
Strapping his siphons in place, he was about to go train you. Nesta had asked if he could train Y/n, and Azriel couldn't refuse.
As he winnowed to the roof of the House of Wind, he found you alone, getting ready for training. The leather trousers you wore were rolled up to your knees, letting the chill morning breeze kiss the exposed skin.
Azriel had been told by Nesta that you were a new Valkyrie. She just hadn't told him that you had started training with them more than a year ago. Nesta wasn't lying though, you were the newest member of the Valkyries (and the best one in sparring).
His gaze locked with yours, and you gave him a brief smile, which he returned, much to his surprise.
"Quick spar before the others get here?" You suggest, and Azriel nods. Wait, the others? Azriel had been told this was a private training... that's when he noticed one of his shadows, wrapped around your wrist. As his gaze locked there, your own eyes followed, looking at the shadow. You hadn't realized, he noticed as he watched your expression.
Dismissing it, he took his fighting stance, and you quickly did the same. Azriel took in your stance, eyebrows raising as he looked at your near-perfect stance. Maybe you knew a few things about sparring.
He quickly knew that 'a few things' was a lot. You threw punches, most of them hitting their marks on various parts of his body. Azriel could feel the sore spots, knowing they would bruise sooner or later. A groan slipped past his lips as your knee drove itself to his stomach. Stumbling back, he clutched his abdomen, sharp pain shooting through his body.
You didn't falter and that one moment was all it took before you landed a hook to his jaw. His face snapped sideways and he really tried to get himself together. Not even his shadows could predict you.
Suddenly, he was swept off his feet, his back hitting the training mat. The breath was knocked off his lungs and he gasped, struggling to draw air into his lungs. Every coherent thought left his mind but he managed to roll over and scramble to his feet before he could receive another blow.
You dodged most of his jabs, although a few found their targeted spots. Exhausted, that was what Azrisl was. Seemingly, you were exhausted as well, although less than him.
It didn't make sense. Azriel had been training for more than five hundred years and yet you, that have been training for cauldron knows how long, are beating him. He would be having a talk with Nesta after today.
His footwork started to falter slightly, and of course you would notice that too. Taking full advantage of his state, you manage to knock him off his feet again.
"I yield! Cauldron, I yield." He panted, his eyes closing momentarily. Once he opened his eyes again, he was met with the sight of you, hand extended to him.
Azriel froze. Before, he hadn't fully taken you in, but now, you were right in from of him, and Cauldron, you looked ethereal. He had competely forgotten his bleeding nose and the bruises that had started to bloom on his skin as he stared at you.
A thin layer of sweat coated your body, your training leathers clinging to you like a second skin. Strands had fallen free from the simple hairstyle you wore, sticking to your forehead, and falling into your eyes and you pushed them back. His gaze flickered to your parted lips, almost unconsciously, as you drew in heavy breaths. Quickly, he averted his gaze, not wanting to be caught at you, and especially not wanting to be caught staring at your lips.
Realizing he had been dozing off for too long, he grasped your hand in his. Planting his feet onto the ground, you helped pull him up. Finally standing back on his feet, his thoughts replayed Nesta's words. She's the newest Valkyrie. Mhm, he's noticed that, he thought, slightly annoyed at Nesta. Who could have thought the newest Valkyrie would be that good?
Even Nesta couldn't beat him, neither Gwyn or Emerie, and yet this woman had handed his ass to him today.
And he found himself stunned.
And perhaps a little obsessed... but he wouldn't admit that to himself.
Nobody came and as you and Azriel waited, he finally spoke. "Do you think the others will come?"
"No," you reply. After a beat of silence, you speak again. "I'll go find Nesta," you say as you walk towards the door.
"You're a worthy opponent, shadowsinger." The door closed behind you and Azriel was at a loss of words, a flush tinging his cheeks. Get it together, Az, he thought, but the image of you refused to leave his mind.
Obsessed indeed.
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a/n: I had so much fun writing this, I was giggling the whole time! Again thank you so much @anarchiii for this request! I hope you like it, because I adjusted it slightly 💓
general taglist: @blessthepizzaman @amara-moonlight @homeslices @flourishandblotts-inc @anarchiii
comment '💕' to be added to my general taglist!
Love, Cassia ❤️
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flowered-mp3 · 1 year
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#hi guys... i know that i havent been the most active lately... mostly because work is hectic right now and all my free time is spent with#family friends and my bf#to be honest i don't know if i'll return to writing... I've slowly been losing motivation but it really is a shame#i've loved my time here and i don't know where my journey will go next#but i will keep my blog up for now and reblog stuff occasionally.#honestly it seems that since full time work and bf got combined I've had less and less time! its just a part of life#and i'm incredibly grateful for those who gave me advice durinf my online dating era... it all led up to my life right now and i couldn’t#be happier. sure our relationship isn't perfect and he isn’t but i truly feel that he's perfect for me. i'm the happiest that i've even been#and i'm thankful for u all that commented on my shitposts and talked me through it all. it got me through and even my bf thanks u all for#getting me through it as well :)#idk why i feel so sappy right now but i'm just feeling grateful.#and happy hehe. my bf met one of my oldest friends from my hometown and he just. idk. after we drove back he told me that he realized that#he's v protective of me when he's walking dt with me lol (it's filled with very strange people that yell) and i could tell lowkey because#his hand would squeeze mine and he would pull me toward him or beside or infront when we talked past sus people#and idk he was looking at me a certain way and i was like stop looking at me (he was gonna make me blush lol) but he just said 'why am i not#allowed to look at my future wife' !#and u guys i wanted to SCREAM like... wow my bf lowkey has rizz tf lol#idk i'm happy 😊 thats the life update see u guys sometimes :)#e.txt
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ohtobeleah · 9 days
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Something that goes without saying is how uncertain Logan really is about sleeping in the same space as another person. Sure, he'll commit to the fun beforehand….The foreplay, the sex, the highs.
But the inevitable act of sleeping beside someone, terrifies him.
We see it in Origin, we see it in Days of Future Past. Sometimes while Logan is sleeping, his claws come out when he feels under duress. Nightmares are a common occurrence for this man, not a night goes by where he isn't waking in the dead of night to the ghost of his past.
And I'd like to think of all the Logans running around the multiverse, that the Worst!Logan has surely been through some things. He's never experienced true rest. Not until he met you.
“I'll sleep on the couch.” Its common at the beginning of whatever the dynamic between the two of you is. Logan ends up back at your cafe, or in your living-room, bathroom, kitchen or bed—but he never stays beside you for longer than a few minutes after. Not because he doesn't crave that intimacy or true human connection, but because the idea of losing you to his own mutation truly scares the ever-living fuck out of him.
But one night, you catch him off-guard. So off guard that Logan doesn't even have a counter proposal ready.
“Ill join you,” You beam, padding down the hallway with your blanket and pillow wrapped in your arms. “Somethings bothing you and with friends like me and Wade, that shits gonna come up eventually,” You ramble. As you sit beside Logan on the lounge he slept on more often than his own bed, he catches a glimpse of a few noticeable scars on your back. Scars where his claws had once accidentally taken over in an otherwise romantic moment between the two of you. “So, get talking pops.”
“Don't call me pops.” Logan sighs as he opens his body up for you to snuggle up against him. “It's nothing I can't handle, didn't anyone ever tell you not to stick your nose where it doesn't belong?”
“Are you trying to tell me that I don't belong here?” You counter quickly, playing Logan’s logic against himself. “Me? Resident of this timeline? Doesn't belong right here next to you?”
“Go fuck yourself,” Logan smiles all the while trying to keep his brooding man mask on. But with you he feels ever atom of his being igniting with desire and unconditional love. “I worry I'll hurt you, while I'm sleeping,” Logan explains as you listen to his heartbeat inside his chest. Snuggled on the lounge in your apartment. “You don't know how much that thought terrifies me.”
“Hmm,” You hum in response. “Perhaps the question you should be asking yourself Lo, is what if the nightmares, what if the fear stops, when you allow yourself to rest with someone you love?” It was a bold word to use, and even though it was rarely, if ever used, there wasn't another word in the English language to describe how Logan felt about you. Or how you felt about him.
And its a thought that's never crossed Logans mind before. He frowns, thinking it over in the late-night silence. You fall asleep there, right with your head on Logans chest as he tru thinks.
Only to wake up in a tangled mess of sheets, with Logan snorning next to you as the early morning sun kisses his golden, aging skin. Its the first night in years he hasn't woken in screaming terror.
“Tell me told you so and I'll turn you into a skewer.” Logan mumbles as you pepper him with kisses across his exposed back.
“I think I'll take my chances with you, Lo,” You chuckle to yourself. “I'll make you some coffee.”
@a-reader-and-a-writer Canon Ilya universe content
Ilya
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rafesslxt · 8 months
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please please please do some hardcore fluff! i just want to see Theo really showing his love language (physical touch) like randomly touching y/n and doing anything to be close to her! kind of “i wish i could be in your skin” kind of thing, if you can!
touch starved | Theodore Nott
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note: hi, thank u so much for my first request! I wrote a little bit with my ideas too, hope you still like it <3
warnings: some cursing, angst, arguing, hufflepuff!reader, me trying to write hardcore fluff, lmk if there are more
note: request are OPEN! English is not my first language
Theo was always interested in being as close to you as he could. He would love to just crawl under your skin if that was somehow possible. He loves to touch you, no matter where you are or who’s around you two.
But there were moments when this also brought its difficulties.
"Now, everything you need for the potion is at the front, take the ingredients you think would be suitable and get started." Professor Slughorn said.
Theo stood up like the good boyfriend he is and got all the Ingredients that he and y/n needed. "Here principessa, got everything we need." "Thanks Theo.“ You gave him a small kiss on his left cheek and started with the potion right in front of you.
Your boyfriend stood as close to you as possible, sometimes even right behind you. He wrapped his arms around you and stirred the kettle. He knew that other students gave him looks sometimes, but he didn't care. He just had to be near you and touch you in some way. He couldn't help it, you're like a drug to him that he can't get enough of.
Whether it was your soft skin, which smelled of vanilla from your bodylotion or your long shiny hair that smelled of peaches and was so easy to wrap around his fingers.
Your own scent drove him crazy the most. When you came fresh out of the shower, with nothing on you. Sometimes it took hours before you could finally get dressed and Theo would take his hands off you.
But he especially loves it when you play with his hair while you're both lying on the sofa in the Slytherin common room. The light tugging on individual strands made him moan softly and drove him crazy. Again, doesn‘t matter If you‘re alone or with your friends beside you. They all knew that Theo was completly smitten for you.
He also liked it when you gave him a massage after training Quidditch. "Yeah, right there baby, that‘s it.“ He groaned. He needed this. Your touch, your skin on his skin, your hands on his muscles. 
" Theo? You there ? I think it is ready, you can stop stirring." He woke up from his daydreams and looked down at himself. You were already looking up at him, chin resting on his chest. " Yeah, sorry." He put the trowel aside to stir and put both hands on your hips now. His lips just touching yours slighty as he whispered " You're beautiful." " Thank you." She smiled at him and placed both her hands on his abs above his shirt now.
His head lowered next to your ear " I need to feel you amore. Need to feel your skin on mine." He whined.
You giggled and looked around embarrassed. " Teddy, we're in the middle of class, you'll have to be patient." " Ugh... I fucking hate school."
That was a week ago now.
It had been a week since he had been able to touch you. To say Theo was on the edge was an understatement.
" Where's your other half Nott?" Blaise, who took every chance to gossip, asked. " What do you care?" Theo bit back, knowing that he didn't ask because he cared. "Oh just so, I'm just surprised as you were inseparable before and now you're hardly ever seen together. Trouble in paradise?" He provoked.
Mattheo had to hold Theo back so that the situation didn't escalate completely, but truth be told, Theo was just as worried. For different reasons to Blaise, but he wasn't entirely wrong. It was as if you were slipping out of his hands like sand. It was the weekend now and just like every other weekend before, you and the boys were always out together as a group in Hogsmeade.
What Theo didn't know, however, was that you weren't ignoring him on purpose, let alone ignoring him at all. You just had a lot on your plate, helping other students with their lessons, being a assistant for some teachers with extra work, doing your own homework and being Head Girl of your house. You had so much on your plate that you didn't even realize Theo was feeling like this.
"Where's y/n?" Mattheo asked his best friend a little more quietly so that the conversation remained private. " She's helping some first years with their studies and finding their way around Hogwarts now that the new year has started. "
Just as your boyfriend was about to hit his head down on the table, a soft voice sounded next to him " Hey baby, why are you hanging your head like that?" " Principessa?" His head shot up and his face began to beam with joy. " Come here sit with me." He scooted a little closer to Mattheo to give you more room. A few Slytherins gave you looks because you were sitting with them as a Hufflepuff, but you were already used to that.
You grabbed something small to eat and chatted with the rest of the table. You immediately feel Theo scoot close to you and put his hand on your leg. You smile a little and look at him. " What's wrong?" " I missed you." He whispered against your head, smelling your hair for the first time in a week. " When are you free again?" He asked and reached for your hand, but you stood up again at the same moment.
" I have to go, but I'll see you later, yes? " You quickly gave him a kiss and grabbed some more fruit. " What? But you haven't even eaten properly? Where are you going?" " Helping first graders, you know that." You smile and disappear from the Great Hall just as quickly as you came.
" Ugh…" Now he dropped his head on the table.
The day passed and it was time to go to Hogsmeade. "Hey man, maybe she's already there or she'll be coming after, don't worry." Mattheo tried to reassure his friend.
" It pisses me off. I'm her boyfriend! I should be more important than some stupid first years." Theo paced up and down the common room. " Yo, can we go?" Draco asked, coming out of his room. " Go ahead, I'll catch up with you." Determined, Theo got up and walked in the direction of the Great Hall first. Maybe you were hungry and came back. As he searched half the school for you, all sorts of thoughts and worries ran through his head.
What if you deliberately seek out so many tasks to keep your distance from him? What if your relationship is coming to an end? No, that couldn't be. He's the perfect boyfriend. He always listens to you, is always there for you, supports you in all your decisions, is attentive, loves spending time with you, even if it wasn't that important to you, but he also showered you with gifts.
Where could you be? He thought until a light bulb came on above his head. The library, of course. He ran up the many stairs until he stood in front of the library. Nervously, he looked for you. What happens if he asks you about it? What should he do if she says that she no longer wants to be in a relationship with him?
Although all the girls in Hogwarts were after him and he's extremely self-confident, he only had eyes for you and you were probably the only person in the world who could make him feel that way.
His heart skipped a beat when he discovered you with three first years. He cleared his throat quietly so as not to startle you. "Teddy? What are you doing here?" y/n whispered. You're the only one who's ever been allowed to call him that. The boys sometimes made fun of him, but were very quiet as soon as he threatened them.
" Can we talk for a moment? It's important." He urged, looking between her and the students. "You keep working on the task I gave you, okay? I'll be right back." The little ones nodded obediently and continued to work diligently.
You walked with Theo a few shelves to the back where you could talk undisturbed. "Is everything all right? Did something happened?" You asked worriedly. "Don't you want to be with me anymore?" He asked directly. " What? What are you talking about?" Confused and a little disappointed, she looked at her boyfriend. " You're not here all week y/n, no matter when we see each other, I have the feeling that you're taking every opportunity not to be with me. I - I'm scared for us. I miss you, damn I can't be without you around." He confessed.
"Teddy, that's absurd. I just want to help! You know I need good grades for my degree and it's easier to get them that way. I would never want to hurt you." She took a few steps towards him. "But you do! We are a couple! Shouldn't we be together more? I miss you so much, it's like my air is gone to breathe. I - I love you, y/n. Fuck I love you so much!"
Although they were together, neither of you had ever said the L word before. " You- You do?" " Of course! Why else would I be with you? Why else am I looking for you all over the school? Why don't you understand me?" Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair, completely enraged. " Theo I l - " " No you know what ? Forget it. It was stupid to come here, don't let me bother you. " " But - " but he was already out the door. " - I love you too." You whispered as he disappeared from the library.
On the way out, he realized what he had said. Fuck, wasn't he wrong after all? He knows how important your future and grades are to you. The more steps he took towards Hogsmeade, the more nauseous he felt. For the first time he told you that he loves you and then left you like that? Merlin, he has to straighten that out.
When he arrived in Hogsmeade, he bought a large quantity of your favorite flowers and lots of roses, chocolate and a present.
He was walking through the alleyways when the boys came towards him, Mattheo at the front. "Hey man, we've already seen you - what's wrong with you? Didn't go so well huh?" Theo shook his head. " No, not a bit, to be honest, I completely messed it up."
" Good luck then, don't mess it up again. She's pretty cool for a Hufflepuff," Mattheo grinned.
Back at Hogwarts, Theo already had a plan but he needed help. "Jane! Hey, I need your help, please." He looked at your best friend, who only returned his look in confusion. "What do you want, Nott?" She wasn't the biggest fan of his, but respected y/n's decision and trust in him. " I know it sounds crazy, but you have to let me into your common room." Jane started to laugh out loud " What? Have you gone crazy? In case you haven't noticed, you're a Slytherin."
" Jane please, I messed up and I need to apologize to her. I have something planned for her ." He pointed to the flowers and presents in his hand. "And you have to do this in her room?" She asked with a sigh. "Please." He swallowed all his pride and tried to be as convincing as possible.
Annoyed, your best friend exhaled and shook her head. "Okay, but let's keep this between us and for the record, I'm only doing this for y/n!" If Theo wasn't himself, he would have loved to squeeze her for joy. "Thank you! Can you give this to y/n? It says that she should meet me in her room." She took the note and pocketed it.
"Then come on, I don't have all day." She led him to the entrance of the Hufflepuff. " You never tell anyone about this, understand?" He nodded and continued to follow her. They walked through the same corridor as the school kitchen was. Suddenly, Theo stood in front of huge barrels, looking questioningly at them
Jane tapped on a barrel that was stacked between two others. She did it in a certain rhythm. Suddenly, the path to the common room opened up. Theo had never seen it before, let alone heard of it. " Through there, up and you're inside. Her room is the tunnel on the far left." " Thanks again. " He walked through the middle barrel and then up a short steep path through an earthy corridor, which brought him to the common room. The room was empty, probably everyone was out in Hogsmeade or somewhere in the castle for the weekend. As Jane had told him, he went through the small underground tunnel on the far left. The doors were round and looked like the lids of barrels.
Not quite his taste, but it all looked very cozy and sunny. (JKR had probably once described it that way.)
Inside y/n's room, Theo started putting up his favorite flowers and scattering rose petals around the room. He placed chocolate on the bed and kept the present in his pocket. It wasn't long before he heard the door open.
"Theo? What are you doing here?" You spoke a little more quietly, afraid that someone would notice that he was here. "Y/n please listen, I'm incredibly sorry. I shouldn't have hit on you like that, I know how important your grades are to you and I should have known that you wouldn't ignore me on porpose. And I'm also sorry that I just left like that after I said I love you. "
" Oh Teddy… " You walked up to him and hugged him tightly. He threw his arms around her and hugged her as tight as he could. " Is it true what you said?" " What do you mean?" " That you love me? " He looked down and took her face in both hands. " Of course, I love you amore. You're all that matters to me. That's why I reacted the way I did. I was… desperate and so… fucking touch starved. " I love you too, Teddy. " you told him with a smile on her face, looking into his eyes.
" Really?" He couldn't have been happier. " And all this wasn't even necessary." She pointed to the rose petals and chocolate. "Because I'm sorry too, I really should have thought more about us. Jane's going to help me tutor the children from now on. That way I have more time for us."
" I'm so glad everything is okay." He whispered against your forehead. " Me too." He took your chin between his fingers and lifted your head. " You're driving me crazy, dolcezza."
His lips brushed yours just softly at first, until you couldn't wait any longer and filled the gap between you two. The kiss was gentle but passionate. Theo grabbed both of your thighs and lifted you up, whereupon you wrapped both legs around him.
He sat down on the bed behind him, with you on his lap. You started giggling as he began kissing your neck. " Teddy… I don't know when Jane is coming back." " I want you so so so so bad… " " I know, but now is not the right time. I'm sorry… " He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled gently. " It's okay, don't worry about it. Besides, I have something for you. " He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cute little package with a bow. " Here baby, open it. " " Theo… you didn't have to do that, really. "
"Open it, trust me you'll love it." You carefully open the bow and flip open the small box. You accelerate quickly. " Oh Merlin, it's beautiful Theo. " With tears in your eyes, you took the golden necklace out of the box. On it hung the letter T which was set with small individual diamonds. "Will you put it on me?"
He took the necklace from your hand and pulled your hair to one side. He carefully put it around your neck and then put your hair back over your shoulders. "Thank you Teddy, I love it." Full of love, you kissed him, causing him to fall backwards onto the mattress. He briefly parted from your lips and looked down at your decollete, where his letter T now lays. " Fuck, now I want you even more than before. " You had to start giggling again. " Trust me Teddy, the right moment will come. " you said and sealed your words with a kiss.
Hope u enjoyed! Part 2 ?? Let me know ;)
my master list
xoxo Sarah
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lemoncrushh · 6 months
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MASTERLIST
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>> Learn a little about me and my writing here <<
>> Check out all my old fics on Wattpad (2015-2022) << * I am currently reposting old fics here since Wattpad decided to delete some. *
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Everything is in order from oldest to newest. You will see me adding more links to the top as I'm reposting old fics.
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Show Me Your Texts, or It's Over Harry finds out you've been in contact with your ex and gives you an ultimatum.
Just for the Record After returning home from a concert with Harry, you share a smoke and a bed.
Scars You have scars and are hesitant about letting Harry see you naked for the first time.
I Miss You You’ve grown frustrated and lonely because Harry is always busy.
Best Friends You and Harry are best friends, but he would love for it be more.
Rooms On Fire (The Morning After) You meet Harry Styles at a party and have an amazing night.
Slave 4 U 2 Harry is ready to take you home for a little role play.
The Opera You and Harry can’t keep your hands off each other at the opera.
My Home You and Harry visit his family, but you have to stay in Gemma’s room.
A Night Out with Harry You take care of Harry after a drunken night out.
Back For You Harry is in town, and you go visit him at the hotel.
Melt A sexy evening with Harry.
Heartstrings You become One Direction’s new guitarist and you and your best friend Harry realize you have feelings for each other.
What's It Like You can’t sleep and decide to pay Harry a visit in the next room.
The Lucky One Harry is not too pleased when you run into your old high school crush at a restaurant.
Too Long It’s been too long since you and Harry have had sex.
Anniversary Pancakes Harry and his daughter make breakfast for his wife on their anniversary
We're Gonna Have a Baby Telling Harry he’s gonna be a dad.
Lyrics and Melodies: AM A very smitten Harry takes Julia back to his place for drinks and more music.
Claiming His Territory Harry gets jealous when he thinks another guy fancies you, and he decides to claim his territory.
This Is Me You're Talking To You and Harry are divorced, but you both still have feelings for each other.
Meeting Harry Styles After actress Mia Tangelo meets Harry Styles at a One Direction concert, he surprises her by showing up at her film premiere.
Kiss Me Kiss Me Samantha and Harry’s story of young romance and a first kiss.
Sweat Some post-workout sex.
Saturday Night Harry needs comforting after his performance on SNL.
Live From New York Harry’s on SNL and he gets a little jealous when he thinks you’re not there for him.
Leather and Lace The night Harry sang with Stevie at the Troubadour.
I Wish That It Could Be Like That An affair with Harry has taken its toll and is no longer enough.
Faithfully Harry shares the story of how you two met and fell in love.
Running On Empty An unfortunate incident at the gym.
Sometimes It Be That Way Soon after a breakup, Lilliana met Harry…but their relationship may have been doomed from the start.
Stones T-Shirt Commenting on Harry’s Rolling Stones shirt at a party leads to going to a concert with him.
Carrot Cake Harry has something he’s been wanting to ask Y/N, but the timing is never right.
Kinda Perfect It’s a girls’ night out and Harry shows up, but you decide not to let your new friend Tiffany know that Harry is your boyfriend.
What Happens In Vegas... Your Vegas trip to celebrate your friend’s birthday turns into a night you hadn’t expected when you meet Harry Styles in the casino.
Easy Like Sunday Morning It's your last day with Harry before he leaves.
Connect Not wanting to lose their connection, Lily takes a surprise trip to see Harry.
Comfort Food Jessica, a self-proclaimed foodie, helps her classmate Harry study for their Biology test.
Her Album Harry has finished recording his album, and he wants her to hear it. [in Harry's POV]
Ruin the Friendship It’s Ella’s birthday, and her best friend Harry plans to tell her how he feels about her.
You and I Alyssa always wanted Harry, so every time he called, she was there waiting for him at the bar. But one night, things shifted between them.
Rain Rain Lexie is on her way to visit her sister, and she’s taking Harry on the road trip with her, planning to drop him off at his friend’s house for a wedding. But the weather has other plans.
That Sunday, That Summer Kelly’s roommate Bianca talks her into participating in a celebrity charity scavenger hunt that Harry Styles surprisingly attends.
Friends Don't Harry and Gabriella have been good friends for a few years. But neither of them knows the feelings the other has.
Dressing For Revenge // Part 2 Still heartbroken from finding your ex cheating on you, you go to a nightclub with your friend Kelsie, where not only do you run into your ex, but also a handsome gentleman who’s willing to help you get over him.
Kiss Me Deadly The annual Halloween party at the local pub has Y/N excited when she decides to invite her boss at the University, Mr. Styles. But she soon begins to second guess her decision when Harry starts acting odd. Is Harry Styles really who she thinks he is? Will this Halloween be a fantasy come true…or the kiss of death?
Through the Wall Harry is your handsome neighbour, and you keep hearing him through the wall.
bad idea harry styles is back from uni and he looks better than you remember. problem is, he's your ex's brother.
break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored part 2 of bad idea - after that one night with harry, you can't stop thinking about him...but things don't exactly turn out like you'd hoped.
Touch You’ve been having a hard time getting yourself off, so your roommate Harry offers a hand.
Filthy Cute You and Harry are in a secret relationship, and you get a little jealous when you think he’s flirting with your friend.
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Out of Bounds After a few years of being a housewife, Tisa Jordan decided to go back to school. Hoping to find inspiration and a new direction in life, she didn’t expect to meet Harry Styles, a handsome British twenty-year-old. [39 chapters, reposting daily]
Cubicle  I’m Harry. I have a mundane job where I sit in a cubicle all day. But things just got better because the hottest babe just started working here. And I’m determined to make her mine, even if just for one night. I’m Roni. I just started this new job, but all I can think about is the hottie in the corner cubicle. I think he likes me too. [22 chapters]
Fratboy Harry Harry Styles was a boy with a reputation, one that you couldn’t care less about. Yet one night at a frat party changed everything. [10 parts]
The Entertainer Set in the 70s, Sky Jones, a young woman from L.A., meets Harry Styles, an up-and-coming musician and frontman for the band Wildfire. Told in first person from Sky’s point of view, she shares her journey and what it’s like to fall for a rockstar. [10 parts]
Too Far From Texas Stacey Barnett is a writer and a single mother. Her hands full with two daughters (one with special needs), a newly published novel, an extroverted best friend and a controlling ex-husband, the last thing she expects is to meet an international pop star. [33 chapters]
Seven Six Five They met once seven years ago. Now music has made them cross paths again. (Real Harry x Plus Size OC, enemies to lovers) [6 parts]
Tattooed Heart You are a cocktail waitress at a swanky lounge. Harry comes in one night, and you instantly dislike him. But another encounter eventually changes your opinion. (Tattoo artist!harry x waitress y/n, enemies to lovers) [6 parts]
The Entertainer II * Updates will be sporadic * What if it wasn’t the end? What if Sky did actually see Harry at the Forum in the early 80s, and he saw her too? What if fate took hold of them both, and they realized their journey was not over? Set in 1981, Harry and Sky’s story continues with more music, more romance, and a few more twists and turns.
Wild Horses * Updates will be sporadic * Amber Crosby didn’t end up with the life she’d expected, but that didn’t keep her from following her dream. A young, up and coming country recording artist, she and her band set out to do just that. Trying to leave her past behind, it wasn’t until meeting Harry Styles that she realized just how her life could take a turn and alter her future forever.
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Ko-fi (if you're feeling generous and would like to support me)
Inbox (for requests, feedback or general chat)
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harrysfolklore · 9 months
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new year's wish - blurb
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a/n: happy happy new year loves ! wrote this little blurb about one of my favorite tropes and i hope you like it, let me know your thoughts <3
gif by @harryisart
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
2011
It was a tradition between your friend group at this point.
For the last two years, you've been celebrating New Year's Eve at Jonny's place, all of you getting together to celebrate and reminisce about your memories together.
You loved your friends to pieces, your group wasn't exactly huge, but you've made a bond so special over the years that no one could easily break.
However, you surely had a different and deeper connection with your best friend, Harry.
You met Harry the first day of middle school, and ever since your first interaction you've been inseparable. As time passed and you got closer to Harry, you began noticing some changes in how you felt. His laughter made you feel happier, his support meant a lot more, and being around him felt different—like something special. Sometimes, you found yourself admiring him in a way that went beyond just being friends. You started to realize that your feelings for Harry were growing into something deeper than friendship, something you hadn't felt before. It was like a secret you kept in your heart, waiting for the right time to figure out what it meant and terrified that making a move would ruin your friendship.
"Hey! I was looking for you." Harry's voice interrupted your train of thought, making you move from the fireplace you've been standing for the last few minutes.
"I got cold outside, wanted to catch some warmth." you said, looking at your curly haired best friend.
"The countdown is about to begin," he let you know, "Let's go with the rest."
You followed him to where your friends were hanging out, sitting next to him.
"What's on your mind? You're really quiet."
You took a moment before replying, "Just thinking about how everything's going to be different next year, we're barely going to see you."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, a frown appearing on his face.
"You know, the band is taking off and you're going to be so busy," a confused look took over his face, "Don't get me wrong, I'm so proud of you, we all are. I'm just going to miss all of us here together, at Jonny's place."
"Come on, none of that," he said as he noticed a pout making its way to your face, throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you to his side, "I'm always going to be around, you won't get rid of me that easily," you laughed at this, "Next year we're all going to be right here together and nothing's going to change."
And as the clock counted down the seconds till midnight you wished for one thing: I wish he doesn't forget about me
2013
"Hey, stranger."
"Hello to you too, miss"
Harry's voice echoed through the speakers of your car, making you laugh as you drove the streets of Holmes Chapel, heading to your favorite wine shop.
"Are you coming to Jonny's place for New Years or are you going to spend it with your famous friends." You joked, and even though you couldn't see him you knew he was rolling his eyes.
"Of course I am, that's every year," you smiled at his words, "Besides, I need to see you so I can tell you all about this girl I'm seeing," and just like that your smile quickly faded, and you were glad he couldn't see you because you could swear your face dropped along with your heart, "I'm super thrilled, we hit it off right away and I honestly can't wait for you to meet her."
You weren't sure how many seconds passed in silence from you,but soon enough you heard Harry's voice asking if you were still on the line.
"Yeah, just got distracted by the traffic," you lied, "I can't wait to hear all about it, I'm glad you're happy."
New Year's was days away but you already had your wish in mind: I wish to be the girl for him someday
2015
There was just one thing in your mind as you sat on the bar stool with a drink in your hand: this year sucked.
That year, Harry had a super busy time with lots of success. He kept in touch, but it wasn't like before, your talks became shorter, and you didn't hang out much. You understood he was busy, but it felt different, you missed him and the fact he didn't show up for New Year's hit hard
On top of that, the headline "Spotted: Kendall Jenner and Harry Styles Getting Handsy on a Yacht" was the first thing you read in the morning, and it hurt.
You weren't even celebrating at Jonny's place, which made the night even more depressing for you, your friends insisted on trying something different and celebrate at a rooftop bar instead.
Maybe you held on to nostalgia too much, but you missed the old days when everything was simpler and you had Harry next to you.
"Hey! Countdown is about to begin, what are you doing on your own?" Ellis, one of your closest friends, called for you making you hop off the stool and join them.
"Everyone has their wishes for the new year?" Jonny asked the group, and you knew exactly what was the only thing you were going to wish for: I wish things would to go back to how they were
2019
"Look who finally showed up!"
Jonny's voice made everyone turn their heads towards the door, where a cuddly looking Harry stood with a bottle of wine.
"Hello to you too, mate." Harry said, making his way toward his best friend and giving him a hug.
After letting go of Jonny, he locked eyes with you and wasted no time to pull you close and wrap you around his arms.
"I missed you," he mumbled against the crown of you head, where he placed a small kiss, "I'm sorry I haven't texted, you know how chaotic album releases are."
You smiled with a tingle of sadness, Harry had just released his second album 'Fine Line', one that he described as having sex and feeling sad and that mainly talked about his most recent breakup.
A breakup that you helped him get through even though your own heart was being obliquely broken by him once again. But at the end at the day, he was still your best friend and there was nothing in this world you wouldn't do for him.
"It's okay, you're here now." You let go of him and squeezed his arm one final time before joining the rest of your friends in cheerful conversation.
Like every year, the night flew by and before you knew it you were a few minutes away from midnight, so you took that as a cue to look for Harry who had been absent from the room due to his phone ringing.
"H? Are you done with your phone call?" you asked, getting close to him, "Is everything okay?"
"It was Camille," he said, turning to look at you and showing you a small smile, one that gave away his contentment about it, "She said she wants to talk in person, to work things out."
"Oh that's, that's good I guess." You tried your best to give him a fake smile.
"It's more than good, this is great!" his smile widened as he moved from his place and wrapped an arm around your shoulders to give you to where your friends were calling for both of you, "Never thought this year would end like this."
His words echoed in your head as you stood with your friends who counted down the seconds until midnight, and a single wish came to your mind: I wish loving him didn't hurt so much
2023
The familiar setting at Jonny's place made you feel comfortable and at ease, no matter how busy your lives had been that year, your friends would always show up to celebrate the new year together and that was something you deeply cherished
This year had been extra special, with every aspect of your life blossoming, but there was a certain thing that made 2023 a great year: your relationship with Harry.
You two had become even closer that you were before, you had always been best friends who shared everything but things felt different now.
Maybe it was the way you exchanged looks that lasted a bit too long, the accidental touches that sent shivers down your spine, or the things you both didn't say but felt.
You couldn't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Harry finally felt something more too. But your intrusive thoughts, the fear of ruining your friendship and the amount of times you've been heartbroken over the years kept pushing these thoughts away every time they popped up.
"Praying to the God's above that Harry finally kisses you at midnight?" Ellis' voice almost made you jump on your spot on the couch, she plopped next to you with a beer on her hand and a cocky smile.
"Ellis! What are you on about!" you complained, making her roll her eyes.
"Come on! We all know that's what you wish for every birthday, and we've noticed that he can’t keep his hands off you tonight, walking in hand in hand and all."
It was your turn to roll your eyes, but you could feel your stomach twist at her words.
After a few more drinks and not so subtle teasing from your friends about you and Harry, you slipped away for a bit, needing a break from the noise. Soon enough Harry spotted you by the window, looking up at the stars.
"Hey," Harry said standing next to you, you smiled as you felt his arm wrap around your waist, "The countdown is about to begin."
"Let's go join them then." You moved from the window and tried to head towards the living room, but Harry's hand grabbing yours made you stop on your tracks.
"Actually," he avoided your eyes, focusing on the scenery outside for a moment, "I've been wanting to talk to you about something, I don't even know if this is the ideal time but-"
"Hey," you cut him off, finding his eyes and giving him a tender smile, "It's okay, you know you can tell me anything."
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about this year and everything that changed, especially between us," he began, his voice soft yet determined, and your face full of confusion and anticipation.
"These past years have been a whirlwind," Harry continued, "But in all the chaos and changes, there's been one constant, You. And I've been blind to not recognize what that means."
Your breath caught in your throat and you could swear you felt your palms drench in sweat.
"I've wasted too much time not acknowledging it, not admitting it to myself and hurting you in the process," Harry spoke again, his voice laced with a tingle of sadness. "I cherish our friendship deeply, but I've come to understand that what I feel for you goes beyond just friendship. It's something deeper, something I've been too oblivious to see clearly for my own selfish reasons."
His words hung in the air, you could hardly believe what you were hearing, the words you'd secretly longed for so many years, spoken by the person who meant the world to you.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you, I've loved you for longer than I realized, and I don't want another year passing without telling you."
Tears welled up in your eyes and without a word, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. It felt like the weight of the years of unspoken emotions was finally lifted, and in that moment, everything felt right.
"I love you too," you whispered, your voice filled with a all kinds of emotions. "I've always loved you, Harry."
From afar, you could hear the cheers and celebrations of a New Year, the clock had reached midnight and your friends already made their wishes.
And as you finally kissed the man you loved after he confessed that he loved you too, there was nothing else you'd rather wish for.
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sweetinsaniiity · 4 months
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In The Light Of Our Demise
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► 𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 - photographer!wooyoung x fem!reader!Y/N x OT8Teez! (𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 - fluff, friendship, unrequited love, slice of life, angst, plot twist, slow burn, friends to-strangers to-friends , moving on , happy ending (or is it?) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 - depression, anxiety ◄ ► 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 23.4K ◄ ► 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 - someone who was afraid of getting out of their comfort zone and someone who was afraid of committing to anything and anyone is never a good combination. Would Wooyoung remain in your life if you confessed? If he left, what would you do? ◄
► 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 - Hello! This is my first fanfic, at least here on Tumblr! Cut me some slack I suppose lmao and let me know if I should continue. If so, let me know if you want to be added to my future taglist! Title from Motionless In White. ◄
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I'm not God, but they're trying to kill me. This all-knowing desperation I've been feeling for quite sometime now, I mean.
I don't remember the last time I've felt this lonely. There were times where my emotions felt a little too much to handle, but not to the point that rendered me unable to want to feel alive. Today, the sadness drained through me rather than lingering outside my skin, traveling through every nerve, but to my surprise, it rather electrified me to want to do something.
That's good, right? And so I did.
"I'll be back at noon," I told my kind mother, passing through her to try and get to the door before I changed my mind.
"I'm glad you've been going out lately, honey. Let me know when you need anything, okay?" she beamed, quite pleased that I was trying to do something with my life rather than mope around in my room all day.
Oh, how clueless she was. The truth was, I didn't want to let her know about the consuming melancholy that my heart had been feeling. 
Ever since I had decided to quit my job, nothing but bad luck has been coming my way. I know it was stupid, to just up and go just because I was unsatisfied with what I was doing, but truth be told, I was not happy anymore. I could never go on doing something I truly wasn't happy with.
But I was bored out of my mind, and most of all, I felt utterly useless and hopeless. It was dangerous - the path my thoughts were taking me. It's the road that led to my burnout, and the impatience this world had always given me.
"No point in trying to convince myself that things would be different," I mumbled to myself, sitting on the park bench nearby.
Click, click
I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice that my feet took me to the park I always went to when I just wanted to be alone in my thoughts and think of my next move. I suppose I was always so discontented with my life that my body had subconsciously learned what to do on its own.
Click, click
No matter, I thought, I was the master of pushing it through. My path had been very foggy lately, anyway. I just have to be patient if the world can't do it for me so I can wait for it to clear up and show me the next adventure that lay ahead of me. 
Click, click
I frowned, what in the hell is that clicking sound I keep hearing?
I pulled my cardigan close, as if doing so would stop the exposure I suddenly felt from being out in the open. I looked around, but there was nothing. There were parents with their children, dogs with their owners, coaches with their students, and ducks with their ponds.
"Miss? You dropped this---"
"Oh my God!" I squealed like cattle about to be slaughtered as I turned around to find the source of the sudden voice. I had always been jittery, you see.
I turned around, and the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life was behind me holding what seems to be my phone. I didn't even realize that I'd dropped it while I was busy spacing out in my thoughts.
His eyes were widened, directed at me. I guess I'm not the only jittery one here. 
He had average length hair that swayed with the oncoming wind, but what set it apart was its bright red tone that was as vivid as the flowers that surrounded both of us. His lips were plump and raised into a charming smile and his steps had a bounce to them.
Oh God, be still, my beating heart. I blushed, the red tinge on my cheeks vibrant in contrast to my pale skin. I hope he can't hear how loud my heart is beating.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you," I was meeker than I usually was.
He saw the surprise register on my face before I could hide it. His smile becomes wider, I guess he gets this a lot, and the heat on my face gets warmer. If he wasn't good-looking before, he definitely was now.
"Don't worry about it, I didn't mean to scare you," he laughed, handing me my phone. I slowly took it, praying that my hands didn't shake too much.
I swallowed. Even his voice was pretty. It reminded me of soft marshmallows, so pillowy and comforting, so sweet and yet so rich at the same time. I mentally slap myself, I haven't gone out in days and the first thing I do is openly check out a guy who was nice enough to give me my phone back instead of running away with it?
My voluntary isolation sure did its number on me.
But then I saw it. There was something slinging across his shoulder - a bag. It donned a big camera that I knew for a fact was quite expensive. So that was the clicking sound I heard earlier, he was a photographer.
"Ah," he began, scratching the back of his head. "I was snapping pictures of you earlier with this." He gently pats the bag. "Would you like to see?" 
"S-Sure," I agreed, hesitant.
"I'm not a creep, I promise," he panicked, animatedly defending himself by making a point to wave his hands in front of me. I giggled a little. He was cute. "I do this for a living, street photography I mean."
"I see. I, uh, sorry to disappoint you, Mr..?"
"Oh. I'm Wooyoung. And why are you sorry? I'm the one who took photos of you randomly," he tilted his head in confusion.
"It's not that," I paused, biting my lip, not knowing how to proceed. I don't miss the way his eyes follow the movement. "I haven't been myself lately, so I probably look unfit for your photography concept..."
I wasn't trying to fish for any sort of compliment. It was true, I did look and feel like shit, to put it simply. I haven't been taking care of myself lately - my clothes were wrinkly, my hair was a bird's nest, my eyes had no life in them, and my face has been splotchy with my dark circles and zit marks.
Unlike him. He was casual, but there was coordination with his outfits, and they looked impeccably new.
"On the contrary, Miss...?"
I laughed a bit. He was cute, and very playful at the same time. What a dangerous combination. His mouth curls into a good-natured smirk. "Y/N. Drop the 'miss', it makes me feel old." 
It was his turn to laugh a bit. "On the contrary, Y/N, yours was the best photo I have taken this week."
My blush deepens immensely, more than I thought I was able to. I matched it with a small, shy smile as my eyes shone in a way that only genuine happiness and appreciation can bring.
I've always been like that. I wish I didn't get so flustered easily. In a flash, my cheeks are rosy and anyone can peek inside my emotions as I had pried my insides open so they watch for themselves.
"Somehow I don't believe that," I chuckled, mentally rolling my eyes.
"No, I'm serious, here," Wooyoung zips his bag open, brings out the expensive looking camera, and presses a button that brings it back to life. "I'll show you."
Wooyoung scoots closer to me, bringing the equipment near my face so I can see the screen. I was so embarrassed at how much I had the urge to sniff him.
He smelled so good - very musky, leathery but very clean at the same time. It gives me the image of a pure sophistication behind a light curtain that envelops you in warmth.
I let out a light gasp, complete surprise taking over the shyness I felt earlier.
There I was, staring out nowhere in particular at the bench I was brooding my bad mood off on. But it wasn't me that stole both of our attention, there was a beautiful wisteria tree I hadn't noticed before behind me.
It was beautiful. The way they cascaded into this marvelous tendrils of purple beauty blended with how forlorn my expression was; the longing, regret, and despondence clearly evident, like the slow descent of its lilac petals, way down they go.
To the naked eye, it looked like a depressed girl with a pretty tree in the background, but to me and Wooyoung, it was so much deeper than that. The photo held so much depth, because at the same time, there was relief in my features. The sadness was exquisite.
"You," I paused, swallowing to force the words out of my mouth. "You made me look human."
"What makes you think I didn't capture you because you were the most human looking in here?"
His smile was the prettiest thing I've seen in a while, prettier than the wisteria, and I can tell it was genuine. I could have melted in a puddle right there. His eyes sparkle like the night sky as he browses at each photo he had taken. He had the passion I lacked.
"Do you want copies of it?" Wooyoung inquired.
Did I want copies of it? Did I want to stare at myself and get reminded every time about how lonely my life currently was? I don't know, I wasn't the sentimental type. He senses my hesitation and frowns a bit. 
He grabs a small piece of card and hands it to me. "Here's my card," he points at it. "That's the address, come swing by whenever you have the chance and I will give it to you, okay?"
I bit my lip apprehensively with a nod, pocketing the card in my cardigan. "Alright, I will think about it."
"I hope you do," he clicks his tongue, swiping it across his bottom lip. I stopped breathing for a second. "I wouldn't want to waste such a pretty photo."
I swallowed. "A-Ah, do I have to pay for it?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he smirked, gently tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "There, much better."
I froze, not really knowing what to do. I sighed softly, I have been so deprived of touch because I poured all of my time on work. Well, at least what used to be my work. 
Wooyoung juts his hand out, waiting for me to shake it. I grabbed his hand halfheartedly. "I hope we see each other again," he said.
After we said our goodbyes - him being bubbly to the very end as he walked away and me just nodding as I watched him go - I treaded my way home.
I took out the card he gave me earlier, which turned out to be a business card, I realized, and not just a personal card. Of course, Y/N, he just met you, why would he give you his personal details? As I inspected the card further, it brought me slight joy to know that his work place wasn't far from my house, just a couple of blocks away.
I was hesitant, truth be told, it was probably a one time encounter, most likely a business tactic to get someone to go into their studio and do business with them. I felt bad because Wooyoung seemed like a genuine person, but there was no way I was adding any sort of change in my current life right now, my mind was a mess as is.
With that, I crumpled up the card and threw it in the nearest bin.
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I paused at the doorway, hesitating before anyone - Wooyoung - knew I was here. I knew I had to go in, and by God, I was nervous as hell. I just needed a few minutes to compose myself.
The curiosity had been eating away at me. It had been 2 weeks before deciding I would stop prancing around at it and just get it over with.
To hell with it, I thought, hastily putting on the most mediocre outfit I can get away with today. It wasn't meant to impress, a simple white tee paired with jeans and sneakers was enough to look decent and be comfortable at the same time.
Deep inside, maybe I just wanted to see the striking photographer again and hear his voice; to see his sparkling eyes that quickly held me in like a moth to a flame.
I stepped in and was immediately greeted by a myriad of photographs that were just placed where they were, the closest thing we get to a time capsule. I was immediately amazed by how versatile the photos were - all of them had their own stories to tell.
A photograph of an old, vintage clock caught my attention. I'm not very knowledgeable, but it was an antique, I was sure of it. It was made out of wood that probably looked sleek during its era. 
Unconsciously, I touched the frame, like it would come back to life if I did. Then, I saw something at the bottom right of the frame. Taking a closer look, it was a series of small letters stamped on it.
J. WY/Budapest, Hungary/2023/Paradigm
I traced the embossed letters lightly with my fingertips. It was obvious that this one was Wooyoung's piece. He had a very particular style in his art, he tended to focus on the subjects and the corresponding backgrounds were something to compliment the subject, and not to supply added detail. It was very interesting.
"I can hear the gears in your head turning from where I am."
I was a deer in headlights once more with him. "You got a thing for sneaking up on me?" I teased.
There he was in his handsome glory leaning by the door with his arms crossed. "Maybe," he smirked coyly.
My heart went up to my throat when I realized that today, his hair slicked back today. I was able to see his face clearly, his beauty was insane. Heaven knows I would look like a wet chicken. He walks steadily towards me and stares fondly at the vintage watch photo.
"I went to Budapest with all of my friends, we all work in this studio together, for a vacation," he chuckled, reminiscing. "But I couldn't resist not taking the scenery for work. God, that place was beautiful..."
Just like you.
I cringed internally, turning my head a bit away from him so he couldn't see the grimace on my face. It wasn't a lie, he was beautiful, but I wasn't going to admit that to him, or anybody for that matter.
"I like them," I thoughtfully mumbled.
Wooyoung turns to look at me, and I tried very hard not to look at him back by pretending that I was inspecting the photo furthermore. There was not a lick of knowledge in my head about photography, I hope he doesn't notice that. 
He stares for what seemed like forever, not blinking nor breathing, the effect was a slow burn waiting to incinerate the thin thread that bound us both. Although I wasn't looking straight at him, it was his lips that gave away that he knew that I knew what he was doing; he wasn't smiling, there was just a slight tilt on one corner.
"Do you, now?" he wondered, now full-on smirking.
"Yes," I affirmed. Was that rhetoric? Was I supposed to say no?
He audibly sighed, and I frowned. I know that sound, it was the sound of negative memories suddenly surging our minds, crashing in like a tidal wave, and my, once you start? They become very addicting, slowly consuming your thoughts until they become no more.
"You know, I never used to look at the photos I snap after I take 'em?" Wooyoung's smile was tinged with hurt, but more so of reminisce. "I just snap, snap, and then keep snapping and hope for the best outcome when San develops them in the back for me."
"Is that what you did when you stole those moments of mine a couple of weeks back?" I swallowed nervously, my body was already anxious and my brain is trying to catch up on it any moment now.
"No," he firmly articulated, so firmly my heart leapt to my throat and tightened it further. 
Wooyoung gently grabs my chin, turning it towards himself so I can make eye contact with him. "Because I knew you wouldn't come back to me until a few days after. I saw it in your eyes."
To him? This was the second time he stole something from me. Instead of a photo, now it was the breath from my lungs. I am on fire, my skin was burning from his touch. 
"Frankly, I wasn't expecting two weeks, that was longer than I anticipated," he chuckled lowly, his thumb caressing my cheek tenderly, and I let him. I was too frozen to protest.
"You knew all that even before you approached me that day? From that far?" I raised a brow. I was hesitant, but I was willing to play his game even though I knew he was probably bullshitting me.
"I'm a photographer, Y/N. It's my job to look through the windows of people's souls---"
"What do you want from me?"
Wooyoung lets go of my face, hands now in his pockets. He doesn't look a bit surprised, just a little concerned. "What do you mean?" he frowned, tilting his head to the side in wonder.
The paranoia in me had always been borderline terrified of not only trying new things, but also meeting new people in association. The underlying fear of deception from years and years of let down between family and friends has rendered me closed off of opening allowances to let myself experience new things and let people in.
"You act like we're friends, and we are not," I bit my lip, exasperated. "I don't like that."
"Are you saying that there are certain prerequisites to being friends with other people?" Wooyoung tuts, frowning deeper. "Everyone has to start from somewhere, no?"
He was right, I can admit that. I began to see how my self-deprecating thoughts had kept me all alone, and frankly, I was none the wiser on what it's like on the side.
"I'll tell you what, Y/N, how about I give you your photo and you can tell me what you're thinking over coffee, perhaps? I make a mean cup of coffee," Wooyoung suggested kindly, his eyes shining in anticipation for my response.
I frowned, shuffling my feet in anxiety. "What if people come inside your studio? And your friends?"
"Don't worry about that," he smiled, already taking a step towards the other room where he came from. "We actually don't open on the weekends. I just always came in because I was worried you would come looking for me when I wasn't here."
It was such a simple gesture, but it blew both my heart and my mind. My heart is so full right it could burst in any minute.
Wooyoung flashes me his million dollar smile, the one that made me want to see him again, and holds his hand out for me to grab. "Why are you hesitating?"
"I hesitate because I need to be sure because for the first time in a while, there are things that I do want, and the consequences of my errors would forever haunt me," I blurted uncontrollably, babbling before I could stop my mouth from speaking.
My mind began to work overload with anxiety but before I could act out on them, Wooyoung laughed out loud. His eyes crinkle upwards into the cutest crescents, and his beautiful lips stretched out with mirth. 
His laughter reminded me of a fox, loud and boisterous, and I couldn't help but join in with him as he warmed my soul and made my day. "You're fine, come on," he urged me in between laughter.
More photos, albeit with unfinished frames, greeted me when I followed Wooyoung into what I can only assume was the kitchen. It was small, but it was nice and actually very functional. I sat into one of the sleek, modern stools and leaned towards the small kitchen island while Wooyoung went to town and made both of us coffee.
"Sugar?" he absentmindedly asked.
"H-Huh?" I was a deer in sudden headlights.
Wooyoung seemed to be confused too as we both looked at each other in bewilderment. Without warning, his face contorts into a laughing mess again, making me blush.
"I was asking if you wanted sugar in your coffee," he chuckled. "Although if you want me to call you sugar, that could be arranged too."
I blushed even deeper, awkwardly covering my face in embarrassment. I felt the tips of my ears heat up and I must have looked so stupid in front of him. "Stop," I groaned, my voice muffled by my hands.
And being the gentleman he was, he did actually stop teasing me.
But it was mainly because he had two steaming mugs of coffee carefully balanced with his two hands as he walked towards me. I mumbled a 'thanks' when I received mine. 
"Now we can talk about why you're very sad," Wooyoung took a sip from his mug without breaking eye contact with me. I gulped.
My brows shot upwards in surprise and my eyes widened in apprehension at the same time. "How did you know I was sad?" I inquired, not sure on how to react.
Wooyoung smiled mischievously. "I just do," he winked.
Having no choice, and frankly having no one to talk to in general, I told him everything. I told him how I had quit my previous job because I was beginning to feel very unhappy with the toxicity that surrounded me and how suffocating it was to stay in a place where you weren't even wanted.
I told him how I was trying to look for another job, but the fear of trying a new one and not being sure if it was a good suit for me was a little daunting, so to speak.
He listened attentively to each word I said, not once interjecting to put his two cents in before I was done finishing, and only asking me some small questions for the sake of clarification. 
It almost makes me want to cry at how attentive he was to me, even though this was only the second time we're meeting. The way his eyes bore into me while I poured my heart out, the way he would nod and acknowledge the things I would say, he was such a good listener.
I can't say I've had too many good friends in my life, though there have been a few close ones, they were not enough for me to say that they were good to me. Wooyoung seemed to be a rare gem, one that I would love to keep for myself.
"What if I told you I know a place where you can start working?"
"You do?" I was hopeful.
Wooyoung nodded. "But are you sure you're going to be okay going to work so soon again?"
My chest warms up with his words. "I have to do it," I sighed deeply. "Y-You were right, if I don't start now, then I won't start at all."
He smiles broadly. "That's a good outlook, I like that..."
He proceeded to tell me about the boutique down the street a couple of blocks away from his studio and they were looking for someone to keep tabs of sale and returned products. As it turned out, the owner was Wooyoung's very close friend and the boutique was where they get their clothes and props whenever they had a photoshoot going on.
"He's a nice guy and I'm positive he'll like you, just let me call him so I can pitch in a word for you, hmm?" Wooyoung pulled his phone out and was about to dial the number, but I interjected before he could do it.
"W-Wait, don't do it," I squeaked, holding my hands out to him to stop him from doing so.
"What's the matter?" Wooyoung's eyes softened at my panicked state and I almost felt bad. I barely knew this man and he probably thinks I'm so pathetic already. It was disheartening.
"You've helped me so much already, I'd feel bad if you did this for me," I admitted.
"And what exactly have I done for you?"  
"Listening to me rant was a big thing for me, and you do make a mean coffee," I giggled, he smiles shyly. "And you gave me justice on the photo you took of me."
"Speaking of that," Wooyoung stood up from his stool. "Wait here."
He left to go back to the front entrance of the studio, and he came back immediately. "Here."
He nudged a square-shaped packaging in front of me. I took it and from touch, I knew it was a picture frame that he had wrapped so carefully and perfectly, there were no creases on the wrap. My heart was beating so fast and my fingers were shaking ever so slightly.
"Open it when you get home," he instructed. "And I'm going to call him, my friend I mean. If I'm helping you anyway, I might as well go all out on it." 
"It's not a big deal," Wooyoung continued when I didn't respond, playfully flicking my forehead. "What are friends for?"
An explosive sensation boomed its way into my head all the way down to my chest, leaving a searing type of numbness in its trail. "Okay," I mumbled.
Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to him because I told my mother I was only picking the picture frame up, I was not expecting to stay this long, so she was probably worried. Fortunately, Wooyoung understood and walked me out. We couldn't properly converse afterwards anyway because a client of his suddenly called out of the blue after he had dropped the call with his boutique owner friend.
We said our goodbyes and I speed walk all the way to my house with the carefully wrapped picture frame in my hands. There was an explosion in my brain - the good kind - and a surge of excitement that electrified my whole being. I could feel it in my bones.
This is the very time I have ever been excited with a mystery. I hated surprises growing up because I was scared I wouldn't like the surprise.
With no time to waste, I quickly locked myself in my room, taking all of my clothes off in a haste and replacing them with something more comfortable and nap worthy. I unwrapped the gift like an animal tearing its prey apart to find their treasure inside.
Tears found their way in my eyes. I had no words, the photo itself was beautiful, I had seen it before, but Wooyoung had left a small note taped on the frame for me to read when I opened it.
You're worth more than you think. Wanna hang out tomorrow, beautiful? I also make mean brownies ;)
I completely broke down, hysterically crying not from sadness, but from the joy of the events that have been happening to me. Maybe being his friend wasn't so bad after all.
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"So you must be Y/N, correct?"
Having a direct connection like Wooyoung did wonders from my interview process and I was called exactly a week after he made the call. 
"Y-Yes, I am," I did a deep 90 degree bow immediately, but not before the man's eyes widened a bit. "L/N Y/N, Sir. I'm very h-honoured to be chosen for this role."
Needless to say, I am a nervous wreck. Wooyoung conveniently forgot to tell me that this was no ordinary boutique. It's a very well known fashion brand that had the catchy 'started from the bottom, now we're here' origin story.
I opened my eyes, I didn't notice they were tightly shut before, when I felt hands nudging me to stand up straight. "It's okay," he laughed. "I don't bite, please stand up..."
This one was handsome as well. He had an edgier style to him that was unique to him and him only. Think bold, defiant, and unconventional. His blue hair added to that grunge aesthetic.
He cleared his throat before speaking. "Kim Hongjoong, owner, and your future boss," he grinned.
My face pales a bit. The Kim Hongjoong? The great mind behind the boutique NO1LIKEME? The one Wooyoung had casually called and got me in? What has my life become in a month?
"Scaring the new girl already, Joong?"
I turned around, and a taller man with dark hair and almond shaped eyes smiled lightly at me with his thick lips. I almost rolled my eyes, either I'm losing my mind, or Wooyoung, himself, and all of his friends are all damn attractive.
"Oh, this is her?" he pointed at me, to which Hongjoong nodded. "I see. Song Mingi, thank you for considering us."
Thank me? I scoffed internally, the co-founder of NO1LIKEME is thanking me for working with them? I suppose that was why they were successful.
Mingi excused himself to man the business while Hongjoong had toured me around the shop. It was a lot bigger on the inside than I had initially thought.
I couldn't help but become very excited as Hongjoong showed me how he personally designs most of their pieces without trying to mass produce the majority of their products, which was very respectable on his end because mass producing can downgrade their quality.
The brand that I only reached in my dreams is now my workplace. I have to thank Wooyoung personally when I see him again.
They needed someone to do inventory checks and match them with the accountancy department. Hongjoong has a big project coming soon to collaborate with an international brand and Mingi has to take over for now while he's abroad. Fair enough.
As we were about to go into his office to sit down and discuss further, I stopped in my tracks. The most gorgeous black, flared dress was hanging in one of the posts. It's very simple, but very versatile, not too long as it stopped above the knee, and the sheer bodice elevated it.
"You like it?" Hongjoong asked before I had the chance to feel the fabric.
"I love it, actually. I've never seen anything like it," I admitted.
He chuckled, plucking the dress from its hanger and handed it to me gently after he folded it in half. "Make sure it's well-loved, then, because it's yours now."
"W-What?" I spluttered, eyes wide open. "No, I was just admiring it, I can't possibly take it. C-Can I pay for it, at least?"
"Think of it as your first day perk," he shrugged. "And no offense, giving away one dress isn't going to make a dent in my business."
I blushed, embarrassed to the highest degree. I was just about to thank him profusely when Mingi suddenly popped his head by the door.
"They're here," was all he said before Hongjoong and I walked back into the main part of the shop.
And there he was - Wooyoung. He was in an engrossed conversation with Mingi along with another - surprise, surprise - handsome man. He had a manlier aura to him compared to the other three, which was an interesting mix to his feline features.
Wooyoung, as if sensing I was present, turned to my direction and the look in his eyes made my insides churn in excitement. His friends were all pretty, but none of them had an effect on him like he did.
"Hey Joong," Wooyoung greeted after approaching me and Hongjoong from across the boutique. He smiled even brighter as he ruffled my hair lightheartedly. "Are you taking care of my Y/N?"
I blushed beet red, lowering my gaze with a nervous laugh to avoid any sort of eye contact. He can't just say these things and not expect me to react! The cat-looking man Wooyoung was with smirks at me, clearly amused.
But maybe, it was just me putting more to it than I should. Wooyoung has been nothing but kind to me and I can't reciprocate that with anything other than gratefulness.
"Get the hell out of here," Hongjoong chided, rolling his eyes, but teasingly because his eyes were full of the same mischief, but they were gone when he turned to me. "My assistant, Jongho, will call you sometime this week so you can get started officially."
I stopped the urge to bow deeply again at him as he turned around to go back behind the shop and instead repeated multiple 'thank yous' at him to express my gratitude. 
"Y/N, this is San, my long time friend and co-worker in the studio," Wooyoung introduced me to the other guy he was with when there were just the three of us left.
San smiles and his deep dimples pop out along with it. He nods in acknowledgement. "Very nice to meet you, Y/N, I personally loved that one photo of yours that Wooyoung took."
"He is a good taker," I shyly replied, blushing at the compliment, although I knew it wasn't directly referenced to me.
San snorted. "Yeah, that's the only thing he's good at."
"Hey!"
Wooyoung playfully swatted San's bulky arms in defense. We all had a small laugh before they both noticed the bag I was holding with the dress inside of it. I simply told both of them that Hongjoong had just given it to me after I admired it.
Behind the strict demeanor of being a boss, was the very generous and giving nature of Hongjoong, apparently. He had meant to give me something anyway simply because I was now friends with them, and also because Wooyoung spoke highly of me. I slightly felt bad because really, I would have been fine without it.
I should have thanked him more before he left.
"I would love to stay with you both and hang out," San glances at his phone to check the time. "But I have business to attend to. Where's Mingi?"
I pointed at some random door where I saw the latter enter earlier. I was about to leave since technically today wasn't my first day, just an introduction to the shop, and was about to basically run back to my house, when Wooyoung follows me out the door and slings his arms across my shoulders.
"Oh, you're leaving San?" I halted on my tracks, blushing profusely like some hormonal teenager that's never been touched by the opposite sex before.
"He was never meant to come," he chuckled. "I was about to fetch you and he decided he was going to come with me since he has to pick up some props from this gig we have next week."
My heart was pounding against my chest like a bird wanting to be out of its cage. He was so close to me, so close I could smell his breath, his body heat seeping into my subliminal thoughts.
This was an invasion, an unwanted intimacy. How have I lived without it for so long?
"Are you tired?" Wooyoung suddenly asked, breaking my thoughts apart and scattering them with the wind.
"N-No, not really. Why?"
He pulls me closer, my body plush against his. I wanted to melt. "Good," he grinned. "Let's go."
He starts to walk, but I plant my feet firmly on the ground. "Woah, wait, where are we going?"
"Would you say yes if I said I already reserved a spot to this brunch spot?"
I blinked owlishly at him. "No, I can't, I already ate before I called Mingi..."
The truth was, I was slightly ashamed to go. The last thing I wanted was to be treated like some sort of charity case. 
Also the reason being, no matter how hard I try, I will think of this as a date.
Wooyoung pouts, his hold on me loosening a bit. "Pretty please? What, are you sick of me already because we hang out everyday now?"
My breath hitched, and I was this close to giving in, but I must prevail and resist those big, beautiful eyes that were holding me captive like a tight vice.
"Maybe next time---" I sheepishly began to say, but a prominent growl made both me and Wooyoung freeze.
I cursed under my breath in shame. My stomach had growled, begging to be fed, and had basically called me out on my lie.
"Yeah, you ate alright," Wooyoung sarcastically remarked.
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung had pretty much dragged me to this retro looking place. It was the opposite of intimate and warm, rather, it was very bright and lively, filled with colorful tables, a snack bar, and the entire wall was made to be a canvas for purposeful graffiti.
Immediately, we sat at the very end of all of the available tables and no time was wasted when we ordered something quick, yet filling for the both of us; a clubhouse sandwich for me and a cheeseburger for Wooyoung.
"This place is so nice, where'd you find it?" I was still mesmerized by the whole setup.
"Picked it out with you in mind," he smirked.
Instead of blushing like I usually do, I let out a genuine laugh. "Seriously," I shook my head playfully.
"I am serious," he expressed with a slight frown.
"Are you like this with all the people you meet?" I mused, curious on what he has to say.
"Like what?"
"You know, you are a very touchy-feely person, certainly very outgoing as well. Do you usually hang out with everyone like this?"
He paused, staring at me with a blank expression. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly drying up, my breath slowing down.
"Yes, I am," he articulated after a while. "I was born this way I suppose, I swear I don't purposely flirt with everybody I meet."
"Oh," I murmured.
My heart sank, it felt like concrete weighing it down. The high of being out with Wooyoung in one moment was cut down the next. Is this what heartbreak felt like?
A hand on top of mine fully enveloped it with warmth. "But you," Wooyoung's thumbs caressed my knuckles with a small smile. "You're different. I can't explain it, Y/N, I've been trying to reason with myself."
"What do you mean?" It was my turn to ask.
His hand squeezed mine, but I felt like my heart got squeezed instead. "Meeting you was unexpected, but I'm so sure it was written. You're very easy to talk to, and I feel like I'm someone and more. It's either you or I'm alone, do you understand what I'm getting at?"
Of course I do. There has not been a day where we haven't seen each other ever since I stepped foot in that studio.
"I do," I nodded my head, smiling purely at him. "I felt good with you in a way I haven't before with other people, Woo. Thank you for approaching me that day, I'm glad to be your...friend."
His eyes widen a bit and he freezes. "What?" I nervously asked. He giggled like a child with no worry, he was just happy. 
"You called me 'Woo', I like it." 
I nervously laughed, mumbling a little yeah. I didn't even notice.
Luckily for me, our food came in and swooped me out of an incoming awkward conversation, at least on my end.
I couldn't help but let out an endearing smile as I watched Wooyoung thank the waiter kindly and then drool at his cheeseburger. Everything about him was so captivating; he felt like a warm, cozy home.
For now, the glue keeping my heart together is strong. He deserved a good friend, and I will be that for him. 
Wooyoung opened his mouth midair when he caught me staring at him. "Dig in, your food will get cold," he mused with concern.
I nod my head at him with a smile. I think he and I are going to be fine.
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Approximately seven months have passed by since that fateful day. Passing each time with Wooyoung, in the most obscure of situations, made my heart yonder and sing in tunes I never knew were so melodious.
"You know what I've been thinking lately?" Wooyoung mumbled all of a sudden.
He was currently laying on my lap while I played with his hair with one hand and held a book near to my face with the other. "What were you thinking, Woo?"
Safe to say, we've gotten so close with each other, soaking into moments enveloped in warmth, and the happiness was the contentment I never knew I'd ever feel in this lifetime.
Chasing time next to him was my salvation; my heaven on earth.
"Do you have a goal in this life?"
I raised a brow at the sudden question, peeking at him from where I was. He was already staring at me from below, and my blushing cheeks never really got better.
"Too deep of a question this morning," I chuckled. "But what do you mean? Everyone has a goal in life, whether they know it or not."
"True, but what I meant to say is, have you ever had a list of things you wanted to do? Regardless of how weird they are or how unattainable, do you know what I'm trying to say?" Wooyoung, and he did, he was always so dramatic about it.
I gave him a hum before responding. "Are you having an existential crisis?"
"Maybe," he laughed in that contagious, fox-like laugh of his. "So do you?"
"I-I have this small bucket list from when I was like 10," I admitted, lifting my book to hide my face.
Suddenly, it was yanked from me and thrown across the room. My mouth hung in shock. "Wooyoung!"
"Pay attention to me," he pouted.
"What the hell are you? A baby?" I rolled my eyes so far back up my head I was surprised they didn't get stuck behind my head.
"Only if it's yours--ow!" I yanked his hair in warning before I exploded from all the constant flirting. Some things never change.
"Anyway," I paused a bit to think, but decided to just say what was on my mind in the end. "I want to go to Mars."
I held my breath, expecting to hear an obnoxious cackle from Wooyoung, but there was nothing. When I glanced down, there he was - waiting expectantly for me to continue.
"I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
The way Wooyoung was looking at me with a soft expression, and I must have looked dumb - my eyes were dilated a bit, dazed, like my brain was having a short circuit.
"Last, I gulped. "I want to hold my breath for a minute straight."
He raised his brows in amusement. "I'm not good at doing it," I defended myself, slightly embarrassed. "The most I've done was 15 seconds."
Wooyoung didn't say anything, he just stared at me intently in the eye as if he was counting all the eyelashes I had attached. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. I frowned.
"What about you?" I softly asked. "Anything you'd like to do?"
It takes a solid minute for him to reply. "No, nothing in particular," he mumbled, his voice strained. "I don't like committing to something for a long time, you know that."
Indeed, I do. Once again, the shattering reality of how temporary all this was for the both of us was tearing me in two.
"There's just so much out there, you know?" Wooyoung continued. "So much to see, so much to feel, how can I just stay in one place?"
Wooyoung loved photography above anything else and was willing to spread his wings and venture out to find the perfect piece. He disliked committing his all in one place in case he had to leave one day. 
I remember the exact night we talked about it, a rainy day in July where we got too sentimental. I felt like choking, but there was nothing I could do, for this man was not mine to begin with.
"You know I will support you in whatever you want to do," I forced a smile on my face even though my mouth was on fire and my tongue hurt from the lies.
Wooyoung, again, stared at me intently. I blushed deep red, it looked like he was gazing through my skin and peeking through the darkest, deepest parts of my soul. The heat from his hooded eyelids emanated conflicted emotions, and then I saw it die as quick as it came.
"I know."
His sudden playful smirk painting his beautiful face throws me for a whiplash. Whatever that was, never happened.
He whips his phone out and starts tinkering with it with a concentration that looks too good on him - his stupidly attractive arms get veinier when he's concentrating and his brows furrowed together.
"Mars, huh?" he muttered, smirking, still not looking up from his phone.
"Yes? Don't make fun of me," I frowned.
"I'm not," he retorted. I looked at him in disdain. "I'm really not, I swear!"
I chose not to reply. Typical Woyooung, but that's what makes him so damn loveable; he was just being himself.
A couple of minutes later, Wooyoung pockets his phone, stands up dramatically, and hovers over me. "Get dressed," he said. "We're going somewhere."
I blinked repeatedly at him, and some more. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"What's wrong with my outfit right now?" I gestured to my oversized shirt and leggings.
He snorted comically. "Trust me, you're gonna need more than that."
Wooyoung saw the hesitation in my eyes. He hated committing as much as I hated trying new things. He extends his hand in front of me. 
"I've never led you astray, you know that," he whispered.
I nodded, taking his hand in mine. Even before he had asked, I was doomed anyway. How could I ever say no to him?
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Turns out he was right - I did need the extra layers.
It was, indeed, very cold right now. Wooyoung and I were currently in line, a line so long that it reached the outside of the establishment, and it was where we currently were.
"Woo, are you sure about this?" I asked through gritted teeth. "It's too windy, I think my fingers will fall off soon."
As if on cue, he pulls me closer to him. "It shouldn't take too long," he mumbled. "You okay?"
I nodded, humming a reply back at him. As long as I'm with you, everything will be alright...
"I must say," I began. "I didn't take you to be the museum type of guy."
Yes, we were currently in line to get inside this museum I have never ever seen before even though I've lived in this city my whole life. Wooyoung got both of us last minute tickets. The place was currently jam packed, the line was endless from behind us.
"I'm not," he shrugged. "I want to show you something."
My mind went into overdrive when Wooyoung quickly glanced at me before he looked back at the pamphlet he was holding. It was only a split second, but it was enough for me to infer the anticipation he had for this.
It was contagious and the dread I felt ebbed away.
"History and geology are both at the far right, art is by your left, cartography is unfortunately out of service indefinitely, and science is just straight ahead..."
The monotonous, robotic voice from the speaker all over when we got inside could have instructed better, but it was definitely better than getting lost. This place was massive.
"Let's go," Wooyoung enthusiastically grabbed my hand as we explored all the things we passed by.
"Oh Woo, look at that!" I giggled uncontrollably and hastily pointed out what I saw.
It was a life sized wood carving of a wisteria tree - the most beautiful thing I have ever seen as of late. Wooyoung squeezed my hand as we both approached it, reveling at the detail of whoever was its creator.
"Reminds you of something, doesn't it?" he smirked.
"How can I forget how we met?" I playfully rolled my eyes.
He laughed out loud, causing some people to look our way, but we couldn't care less. "As much as I want to stay, there's somewhere else we have to be," he winked.
He led me to the direction he, then, wanted to go. The way he pulled me with him made my heart swell. At the very moment, I blocked all the sounds, the chatter, from the background and I could only see him. 
Just when I felt like leading my heart somewhere else, he pulled it back towards him; a magnet I had no choice but to get attached to.
"W-Wooyoung?"
My eyes widened in disbelief when we stopped at something in particular. "I-Is this w-what I think it is?" I stuttered uncontrollably, gripping his hand tighter and tighter until he put his other hand on top of mine to stop me from shaking.
"Relax," he cooed. "And yes, it most certainly is."
Wooyoung had led me to the science section of the museum where there was a small room we could go inside - a planetarium. Today they just so happened to be exhibiting the planet Mars.
Wooyoung took me to Mars.
"Shall we go in?" Wooyoung gently guided me inside. My legs were weighted with lead, I couldn't do this on my own.
My breath came out in short intervals, my feelings overwhelming my sense of excitement muddled into a plate full of shock, confusion, and joy as I looked around the place with Wooyoung still holding my hand in his as if he knew I'd fall without him.
The whole room had a blue haze to it, the ceiling itself was a cool shade of midnight blue with little specks of white dots that were presumably the stars in the night sky. 
They covered the whole blue like snowflakes, and they would twinkle, or rather, blink at us, watching what we would do next.
I turned to look at Wooyoung, and my tears started to fall on their own. There was panic in his eyes, but he pulled me into a quick hug, and I hugged him back just as tight.
We didn't say a word, just basking in our body heat together with the stars as our witness.
He kissed my forehead tenderly before pointing out to a distance. "Look."
I gasped rather dramatically - it was Mars itself!
Or at least, a really big ball that was probably made out of styrofoam and dyed into the shade of rust red that mimicked the real deal.
"Before we go there, wipe your tears, jelly bean. I want you to be happy today..."
But he wiped my own tears for me anyway. Oh Wooyoung, I thought with dread. How do you expect me to not selfishly wish for you to stay instead of finding your own dreams?
Instead of a repeating robot telling everybody Mars' information, luckily it was an actual person making a presentation, like that of a tour guide but this one instead explained the planet with so much depth and detail.
Wooyoung makes an exaggerated "ah!" sound when the lecturer explains that the reason why Mars was red was because of the oxidation happening in regolith, the soil on the said planet, and thus making it appear red.
"Does anybody know how many moons the planet Mars has?" the lecturer had questioned with a pleasant smile.
"Two!" a teenager from the crowd had answered.
"Correct! Does anybody know what they're called?"
The crowd made confused noises and everyone seemed to be stumped for answers. I looked around and nobody seemed to know what they were, and even Wooyoung mutters something about not knowing that even moons had names. I sighed, mentally preparing myself so I don't get nervous.
"Phobos and Deimos," I had managed to answer without stuttering.
The lecturer looked surprised, but happy nonetheless that at least someone in the crowd knew. "That is correct!"
"Nerd," Wooyoung snickered. I elbowed him, too happy to let his jokes get to me.
When it got too crowded, we both decided to leave the museum as a whole. One thing we both had in common was that after a while, the air got stuffy when there was too much going on in one place.
The bus ride home was silent, but comfortable, and in reality, we were both too tired to talk anyway. With an adrenaline of short-lived bravery, I leaned my head against Wooyoung's shoulder. I sighed in relief when he didn't push me away.
"Did you have fun?" he asked with genuine curiosity when we both reached my front door.
"Did you?" I asked back with an equal amount of curiosity.
He nodded enthusiastically. "Of course I did, why wouldn't I?"
"You really didn't have to do this---"
He put his finger against my lip, effectively shutting me up and shutting my brain off as well. "Why can't you just enjoy the things I do for you?"
Because I am slowly getting more and more delusional with every single second I spend more with you and I keep imagining of what we would be like a few months from now- am I going to be alone again or will you remain in my life---
I shook my head to rid myself of the nastiest thoughts that keep coming through my psyche, but along with those was another burst of blood rushing to my brain that makes me do the unthinkable.
"Woah, woah," Wooyoung voice out, amused that I was initiating skin contact first. 
"Just shut up and let me hug you," I voiced out, but it came out muffled because my face was currently buried in his chest. "Thank you, Wooyoung, thank you very much, you have no idea what this means to me."
Wooyoung rocked me back and forth, healing my inner child. "I think I do," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him. "Just let it out..."
It was the first time he ever saw me cry willingly. The hands that patted my back provided me the solace I currently needed. They were gentle, soothing even. He had always been so patient with me, and those hands... 
Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far was his.
I felt selfish, so damn selfish, for feeling this way. But it's okay, none of it matters at this moment.
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Hey, ladybug. I don't think I'm able to make it in time today, or at all. Client is being finicky and all, I'm about to charge them extra for this. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you soon, hmm?
                         - J. WY
I heaved a loud, disappointed sigh as I locked my phone before pocketing it. My frown deepens and my brows knit in today's unexpected turn of events.
"That Wooyoung?"
"Yeah, says he can't make it today. Something about a shitty client," I shrugged.
I had invited Wooyoung last week to my family's dinner reunion. My whole family had taken a liking to Wooyoung - who wouldn't? - and my brother had suggested I invite him. This year, we were at our Uncle Yeonjun's place.
"It's not the end of the world," my brother teased.
I snorted loudly. "That obvious, Yeo? You look more crestfallen than I do."
Yeosang laughs heartily, taking a sip at whatever concoction our mother made. "I mean, I've only known him longer than you," he joked. 
It turned out that Woyooung was part of my brother's friend group, talk about coincidence. "Besides, you gotta cheer up before anyone notices," he added.
"Why?"
"Because you look like a lovesick puppy that got abandoned by its owner," he clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "No offense to our cousins, but they can be do damn nosy, especially Soobin and Kai."
I knew that Yeosang was just trying to distract me from whatever I was feeling. As per his advice, I faked a smile just so nobody questions why I'm feeling so down.
Wooyoung was currently out of town and had been so busy with his job so we haven't really seen each other for a couple of days now, however we do call each other every night.
My train of thoughts were squashed when Yeosang elbows me gently. "Hey," he said with a soft smile. "You want to get us food so I take you home?"
If I were to write on a piece of paper of how much my older brother has done for me, the trees would cease to exist from all the paper and wood for all the pencils.
The night wasn't all that bad, Yeosang did everything in his power to distract me and even brought our cousins into it, not that they knew what was up. We took the party to the backyard, just singing, dancing, and fooling around like the young adults we were.
The little reunion was family, music, and food. It was simple, memorable, and destined to make me forget for a little.
The night had to end, and that meant I had to go home alone to my thoughts. My parents will stay overnight and Yeosang did not live with us anymore.
The jingle of the front door's keys only solidified the loneliness that awaited for me from behind it.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can just drive early in the morning," Yeosang suggested as we both walked in the house and closed the door behind him.
"Yeo, I'm not a child anymore," I chuckled. "I appreciate it, but you should go, you have work tomorrow, yes?"
"Well, yes, but---"
"Then get your ass out of here."
Yeosang rolled his eyes at my teasing tone, but ended up laughing anyway. He pulled me in for a quick hug and pecked cheek. "Call me if you need anything."
He was gone within a minute, and once again, I was left alone with my despair. And what better way to shower these thoughts out?
But that made it worse. The involuntary shower thoughts were poison to my already weak mind.
I've conquered the art of being alone, and now that I had Wooyoung with me, it never really made things easier. My endless days filled with cold fire were quickly replaced with warm companionship...
I felt like an empty box without him. It was ridiculous, really, I knew this was wrong; a mistake I knew I wasn't supposed to feel.
I missed him.
Ding, ding, ding
I had just finished dressing up when I heard the doorbell ring. Confused, I slowly treaded my way downstairs. My parents weren't supposed to be home and Yeosang would have called beforehand if he forgot something.
The doorbell rings again, more hurriedly the second time. Screw it, I thought apprehensively. Yeosang is in charge of my obituary if I unfortunately pass away tonight...
With a deep breath, I swung the door open, my eyes tightly shut. Yeah, I know, serial killers would love me.
Silence. I knew somebody was in front of me, but they weren't saying anything. My mind caught up with the stupidity of my actions and I froze. Is this how I die?
"A-Are you okay?"
That squeaky voice, that sounds so familiar. I wanted to smack my head, I missed him so much, I was hearing him.
"Nice tits, Y/N."
My eyes shot open so fast that the light came in a bit faster than I expected to and I became a little dizzy. My brain buffers while my thoughts try to catch up. After I realized what I just heard, I took a closer look in front of me.
I let out a little gasp. "W-Woo?" I whimpered pathetically.
There he was, standing at my doorway, 9 o'clock in the evening. My heart lurched at the sight of him - so ethereal.
There was nothing specific to him that made him so stunning to me, maybe it was his iconic red hair, or maybe the way he looked at me right now would be close. They were intense, yet gentle. Polite, but not noble. 
I blushed, wanting to cover up, but his eyes held me hostage. They trailed from my face, slowly down my neck, to my exposed cleavage, before bringing them back up again to look at me, the unmistakable hunger in those orbs very much present.
"Y/N," Wooyoung drawled out without breaking eye contact, sticking his tongue out to lick his bottom lip excruciatingly slow for my sanity. "Let me in."
A sudden wave of nausea hits me, rendering me weak in his mercy as I finally feel my brain melt in my head. What the hell.
His kissable lips pulled up slowly to a smirk, mischievous, and we were both released from that little cage of sin we almost trapped ourselves in. 
Woooyoung laughs out loud. "You should have seen your face," he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.
My face reddens both in embarrassment and mild anger. Against my better judgment, I move to slam the door to his face. "You!" I hissed menacingly.
"Wait, wait!" he panicked, quickly stopping the door from completely closing by putting his boots in between. "I'm sorry! You just looked so far away, I couldn't help but tease you--"
"Not helping your case, Woo--"
"I traveled here in two hours from a place that would have taken three," he whined, grabbing my hand from the outside. "Please?"
I let out a very loud exaggerated sigh before I let go of the door. Besides, he might not look like it, but Wooyoung was built. He could have pushed the door forcefully if he really wanted to.
"Sorry," he giggled, hugging me from behind with his head resting on top of my head. "Turn around for me?"
I'm so ashamed of how weak I had become with him, but what can I say? 
I buried my head on his chest, inhaling the scent that I missed so much - warm and clean - and everything hit me all at once.
He really was here with me. I was so happy that I almost felt sick and anxious. It comes off as a raging storm in my heart that was almost painful. The unbelievable sorrow I've gone through the last few days melted away in Wooyoung's blissful embrace.
"Did you drink tonight? How'd you get home?" he inquired after we pulled away.
"I did, and Yeosang took me home."
"Oh? Is he here? I didn't see his car outside."
I explained that Yeosang had to go back to his apartment because he had to work in the morning. He nodded intently, humming to himself.
"I have a surprise for you," he smiled, lifting the duffel bag he had bought with him. "How about you nap a bit while I prepare this?"
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung was already building a makeshift bed out of the couches we had in the living room so I could lay on them real quick.
The light pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the windows were the ones that woke me up. They have been falling steadily without fail before I opened my eyes. 
I would have been content staying in the warmth of the blankets, to grab a mug of tea and feel the soothing coldness of the breeze hit my nose as I inhaled deeply.
But I had to find Wooyoung. It wouldn't be too difficult, I knew exactly where he was. He loved the rain, you see.
A tender smile creeped up on his face when he noticed me sitting beside him on one of the stools on our roofed backyard. "You're awake," was all he said.
"How long was I out?" I groggily asked, swallowing the aspirin tablets he handed out. "Thanks."
"Not too long," he handed me a tall glass of water. "Close to an hour and a half, maybe."
"You were working while I was napping?" I gestured to the setup he had in front of us. Various strips of undeveloped films were strewn all over along with a camera I did not recognize, and...a glass pyramid?
"Nice paperweight," I pointed at it, a little hurt that even though he came for me, his focus was still on his work.
Wooyoung chuckled lightly. "No work, not necessarily," he shook his head. "That's not a paperweight. Why don't you be a doll and pick it up for me?"
I could feel the tips of my ears warm up but I picked up the pyramid anyway. It was a lot lighter than I initially thought it would be.
I looked at Wooyoung in confusion when he suddenly pointed out to the moon. "See the small beam of light coming down?" 
I nodded. Indeed, the moon seemed brighter today. It looked more beautiful than the stars that surrounded it. "That," he gestured to the triangular glass I was holding. "That is a prism, and I want you to put it where the moonlight is."
I frowned. "What?"
"If you're worried about the rain, you don't have to put it directly under it, just a small light would do," he bargained, chuckling at my confused face.
I did what he said, apprehensively stretching my hand out to put the so-called prism under the moonlight. I smiled a bit, I will admit, the combination of the rain and light hitting its surface made it look extremely breathtaking.
I tilted it slightly to catch the different angles since I realized each angle made it glow in different shades of lights. One flick of my wrist shone a colourful beam of light that landed on the ground. 
"Wow," I breathed out. "That's beautiful, Wooyoung."
He smiled back. "Keep tilting."
Suddenly, an arc formed from the prism to the ground beneath me. I was in awe, this one had different colours to it. From red to yellow to purple, it shone clearly against the rain. I giggled, it reminded me of rainbows. If only it was daytime...
I gasped, dropping the prism on the ground with a loud clunk. My face was drained of blood as I turned sharply to Wooyoung with wide eyes. But he wasn't worried about my pale state. His smile shone brighter than any prism out there. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take a photo of his charming smile.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" he grinned, picking up the prism and tilting it himself against the rain and the light.
I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
"You remembered, oh my God, you remembered..." I sniffled, burying my face in my hands.
"Why wouldn't I?" he smiled, pulling me in for a hug.
Wooyoung kissed my forehead delicately with great care and the look he gave me was something I will never forget.
We spent the next hour or so playing with different shapes of prisms that Wooyoung bought from where he went. The client he had earlier owned a glass manufacturing company and Wooyoung requested for these to be made as a form of payment.
This rainy day soaked all the memories we had made for both of us, providing us the soundtrack we deserved, and it was unlike any other. I laughed like I never laughed before at this crazy little daydream, wishing it would last forever.
And soon, I learned to love the rain like Wooyoung. There will never be a rainy day where I never not think of him ever again.
"You better make me look good or I won't give you pictures," he threatened playfully.
When the rain had stopped, we opted to take pictures as proof of this core memory. The unfamiliar camera I saw earlier turned out to be a self-developing one, the modern cameras that instantly printed out tiny polaroid pictures in less than fifteen seconds.
"You literally took the shittiest photos of me, you hypocrite," I rolled my eyes at him, trying my best to cover my eyes with the camera so he wouldn't see the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.
"They're mine to keep," Wooyoung stuck his tongue out at me. What a brat.
But he was my brat. The tears that were once the symbol of the everlasting happiness that Wooyoung had been willingly giving me, were now drowning me in the bottomless sorrow that embraced me in a sea of ice cold water.
I loved him.
If I ever cross my heart, if I ever lie or deny the heart that beated for him, then I'd hope to die.
I loved him when we both stared at that park's wisteria, I loved him when he laid in my arms until he fell asleep, I loved him when he told me he'd always be there for me, I loved him then, and I love him now.
"Do you want me to put the movie on?" I asked after we've both settled down, shivering a bit. I never realized how cold it was outside until both me and Wooyoung came back inside.
Wooyoung mumbled a soft hum of affirmation while he was busy in the kitchen reheating some food I had bought with Yeosang earlier. He wasn't even doing anything groundbreaking but he was still so devastatingly loveable in my eyes.
The movie was boring, or rather, my attention just wasn't geared towards it. All I could focus on was the intense, burning passion I had for my best friend. I shut my eyes closely, as if doing so will get rid of the plaguing thoughts.
I let out a small gasp when Wooyoung pulled me to him, his arms wrapped around my waist. "What's going on in that pretty little head?" he sluggishly asked, nudging his head in the crook of my neck.
I am about to explode. He has always been the cuddly kind, but now that I have finally admitted to myself how much I truly loved him, his touch burned me on the inside, electrifying every cell in my body in response to his tender touch. 
"Nothing," I shrugged nonchalantly.
He chuckled, gripping my jaw lightly and turning my head towards his. I stopped breathing when I realized that he was closer than I thought. If I lean even an centimeter more, our lips would touch.
Wooyoung searches my face intently. "Don't lie to me."
I stare at him in the eye, not really knowing what to say. His hand was still on my jaw, but that was the last of my worries right now. I really want to tell him, I want to shout how much I loved him; how much he made me feel like I was everything when in reality I was nothing.
My mouth opens to say something, but immediately closes. In a moment of realization, Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit before his hand dropped from my jaw. There was a storm brewing in those beautiful eyes, and at this moment, I knew I was about to lose him.
"W-Wooyoung," I blurted out, full on panicking at this point.
"Don't look at me like that," he whispered, his voice breaking in the middle.
"What do you mean?" I sniffled, wanting to reach out and touch him, but stopped myself.
"You know what I mean."
A bitter sensation rose like bile up my throat. My heart isn't just broken, it was now a shadow of what it once was that was slowly fading away little by little.
He knows. Him knowing me like the back of his hand was a curse to a blessing, and not that blessing was a curse. He knows that I am in love with him, the last thing I ever wanted him to know.
"Let's finish the movie," I giggled, though it probably sounded fake.
I frowned when Wooyoung shut the TV off as a whole. "Y/N," he sounded stern. I stayed silent, not even looking him in the eye. 
He sighed deeply. "I can give you anything, but not that," he stated, his arms still around my waist tightening a bit. "You're my best friend, I cannot lose you. Not like this."
My fear of loss was proof of my love for him. I loved him so much, I was willing to let him go.
I rolled my eyes playfully, forcing myself to look at him and grin widely, even though my tongue burned. "What are you saying? We'll be friends until the end of time," I laughed, lightheartedly elbowing him.
There was a passing look of hurt in his features, but it left as soon as it came. "Are you sure you're fine with this?" he squinted his eyes suspiciously at me.
"Of course," I snorted. "Maybe I'm just confused, but you know me Youngie, I'm tough."
He was still suspicious, but he laughed along with me anyway. "I know you are," he chortled, pinching my cheek really, really hard.
"Ow! You imp!" I grab his cheek to pinch it back just as hard, playing along with him.
We decided not to finish the movie and just rest for the night. As I lay back down on the makeshift bed Wooyoung made for me earlier, with him cuddling me from behind and pretty much spooning me, I let it all out.
Silent tears flowed down from my eyes and I had to put my knuckles in my mouth to prevent myself from making any sound. I can feel Woyooung's chest rising up and down against my back and that's how I knew he was sleeping, but I didn't want to risk waking him up.
My heart hurt so much, because I knew my love will never be reciprocated. Wooyoung loved his dreams too much to choose us, I knew that. I tried so damn hard to stop my growing feelings but to no avail. The voice that came out from me so naturally to tell him that I was fine, that what I felt for him was just a silly little crush, sounded so far away; it didn't even sound like me.
The attraction between us became an intangible broken thread and there was no way to reattach the fragments, though I know that I was the only one scattered and lost.
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I knew we weren't going to last forever, but I wasn't expecting the beginning of the end to happen so soon.
A knock from my left snaps me out of my thoughts. It was Mingi tapping on my desk, his brow raised.
"Sorry," I sheepishly mumbled, trying to focus on the task at hand. Hongjoong already left for New York so it was just me and Mingi in the shop.
I couldn't concentrate, I kept glancing at my phone hoping Wooyoung would reply to my messages. Something was wrong, and I was very close to having a mental breakdown.
Woo? Are you busy? Wanna hang out at the new place later after work?
I kept telling myself that it was fine, he's busy, he's been in-demand lately because he truly was a talented photographer with a particular set of skills that were a rarity in such a condensed industry, but I couldn't help but feel like he's been very distant lately.
Wooyoung has been avoiding me and I don't know what to do.
To keep my insecurities in check, I've been going in the deepest pits of my mind to tolerate my thoughts and letting these negative feelings pass - so I can react appropriately and not go crazy over the things I had no control over.
Wooyoung? Is everything okay? You aren't responding...
Truth be told, I felt pathetic. I got so attached to Wooyoung that I forgot how I was before I met him - alone. It wasn't his fault, he doesn't owe me anything, it was me who let my heart chase a person who never even wanted to be found in the first place.
Another knock made me jump from my thoughts.
"Y/N," Mingi sighed, taking his glasses off and setting them down on his own desk. "Can I talk to you really quick?"
I bit my lip, nodding. Mingi had always been the type of boss that drew a line with everyone, except Hongjoong. He was strict, very intimidating, but it suited him, so I'm a bit nervous that he was calling me out. 
"I'll be straight with you, yeah? Is it Wooyoung?" he asked out of genuine curiosity, his sharp eyes piercing through me.
I didn't respond, I couldn't, so I kept my head low. I heard Mingi sigh again. "Hey," he says softly. "This is off the record, okay? I won't tell Hongjoong, although I suspect he already knows anyway."
I looked up, frowning. "What do you mean?" 
Mingi crossed his arms, leaning back against his chair a bit more relaxed. "I can't speak for him, but for me personally? I know Wooyoung more than you think I do. You just haven't seen us together because I've been so busy lately."
He was right. Mingi continued. "Look, it's a shame to see you like this. We really like you, you're hardworking, critical, smart, and whatnot..."
"T-Thank you, Mr. Song," I blurted out.
"Just Mingi," he brushed off. "What I'm trying to say is, save yourself for a man that isn't him. He won't choose you."
I already knew that, but hearing it didn't make it hurt less. Tears started to pool in the corners of my eyes. Mingi curses under his breath.
"Go home," he gestured out the door. "Take the day off."
"B-But we still have work left," I stuttered.
He gives me a small smile. "I'll manage. Go before I change my mind."
I suppose I was thankful about being sent home, it did help my nerves a bit. I've gotten home, showered, ate dinner, and did the most mundane things I could ever do, but Wooyoung never replied.
I woke up the next day, clutching my phone, muttering a little prayer in my head as if I would miraculously see his name pop up in my notifications, telling me good morning like he used to every single day.
The tears I've been holding off since yesterday ran down like waterfalls from my eyes. I missed him so much, and I've got nobody to blame but myself. I wished I kept it in, how much I loved him I mean. Maybe we would have been hanging out by now, laughing obnoxiously at nothing in particular.
Before I could stop myself, I dialed Wooyoung's number. The beating of my heart pounded along with the ringing tone against my ear. I was about to hang up, when I heard the familiar click of answer.
Hello?
I covered my mouth with my hand to prevent me from choking up. Oh, how I missed this voice.
"H-Hey, Woo, how are you doing?" I apprehensively asked.
I can't really talk right now, little dove, what do you want?
I was confused, my frown getting deeper. There was tension on the line, a tension so brittle it could snap in a moment, and if it doesn't, I might. He sounds like his normal self, but he sounds so rigid, his voice clipped.
"Nothing, I-I just wanted to hear your voice," I was so anxious at this point, especially when Wooyoung didn't say anything back for a moment.
I can feel the fear spreading throughout my chest. I let out a slow, controlled breath and attempted to loosen my body.
What? You called me for that? I have my own things to do, Y/N, you can't just call me for something so stupid.
I felt my heart bleed, twisting, turning, and rendering my insides tight. I don't respond, wide eyed, my heart in my throat. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be alright, to soothe me but instead he continued.
I'll call you when I have time, okay?
"B-But you said I can call you whenever I needed you," I whispered in the smallest voice I could muster.
I know what I said.
The tone of his voice, so cold and so upset, brought shivers down my spine. "I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I'm so lonely, I miss you. C-Can you come for a bit? O-Or I'll come if you cannot..."
I'll see.
And then he hung up, not bothering to wait for my response. Hot tears, ones he will never witness, were falling even faster than before and soaking my pillows. I felt the wetness of my skin and each drop killed my soul little by little.
What is happening? That wasn't the man I know, that wasn't the Wooyoung I have come to love over the past year.
Sharp knives dig into my heart even deeper, bringing more pain, making me cry out in the most desperate of as it keeps slicing over and over again. I was so lost at the torment my mind was putting me through.
When I was at my lowest, when others took what I could not afford to give, Wooyoung saved my life. The voice that once kept me alive was now the one that was slowly sucking every little bit of hope in my soul.
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The first day was fine, I was able to rationalize with myself and not think of Wooyoung every second of the day.
The first week was a bit difficult, but I was still able to manage and get by day by day even though I can feel myself slowly slipping away.
The first month, I couldn't take it anymore. My parents noticed that I wasn't being myself lately, but they chose not to comment anything out of respect, but when I completely stopped eating and going out was when they began to worry significantly.
I understand that my best friend might never be able to give back all the love I have from him, but there is something much, much worse than hate or ignorance.
It was indifference. The night I had unintentionally confessed to him was the night everything between us started to blur.. He was cold, I wasn't expecting him to love me back, but abandoning me and acting like I don't exist or matter at all was turning all my loneliness into desperation.
Screw it. If he's not going to see me, then I'll go see him.
It wasn't too difficult to borrow the family car with the pretense of going out to enjoy myself. They didn't know Wooyoung was the source of my melancholy. I haven't had the heart to tell them because they really liked him.
"Woo?" I knocked on his apartment door, the door that used to excite me, now terrified me.
No response. I knew for a fact that he was inside and was ignoring the hell out of me because his lights were on - he always turned them off whenever he was going somewhere all the time. I was getting extremely annoyed at this point, and my anger had nowhere to dissipate.
"Jung Wooyoung, I know you're in there," I knocked frantically. "Open the freaking door."
When I still got no reply, I had no choice but to get the spare key he hid under his doormat. I could've done it earlier, I wasn't in the mood to be disrespected right now.
The moment I swung his door open, I saw him. He was just there, sitting on a chair with his arms crossed, staring me directly in the eye. I stood by his doorway, frozen, staring back at him. 
"Woo--"
"Close the damn door and sit down," he sighed exasperatedly. The cold indifference in his eyes was killing me.
The atmosphere was completely tense, I didn't even know where to start. I used to love being in his apartment, but now I was itching to get out.
Then I saw it - the same duffle bag he bought the glass prism to give me a lunar rainbow now filled with all of his clothes.
"What the hell is this?" I gritted, not being able to hold back the anger I was feeling at the moment.
"What does it look like?" he glared, his jaw taut and clenched tight.
"Is this why you weren't talking to me?" I asked, my voice full of hurt. "How can you do this, Wooyoung? How could you do this to us?"
He scoffed. "There is no us, my princess," he mocked. It stung, I didn't know this Wooyoung, or was this his true nature all along?
"Then why am I still your princess, then?"
There was a second where his eyes morphed back into the man I loved, but before it even lasted, it went to this hostile stranger than got off on the hurt he was giving me. He avoided eye contact, opting to look down and stare at the floor tiles. 
"Say something," I begged.
"I heard you," he snapped, as if I meant absolutely nothing to him. 
Clearly, he wasn't expecting me to even confront him at all, and intended to push me far, far away as long as he possibly could.
That refusal to smile, to show me any warmth was his way of being antagonistic towards me.
His eyes stopped at mine, and the moment it laid on me, I knew that there was nothing left for me to salvage. This is really the end.
Tears flowed nonstop from my eyes and before I knew it, I was in front of him, aggressively hitting his chest using my fist with all my might, hoping he could feel all the pain he gave me.
"Stop it, Y/N," he hissed, trying to avoid my hits. But I didn't. All the anger and sadness were so intertwined that I didn't know which one prevailed.
"I said stop it!", he shouted. He grabbed my wrists painfully and held them against his chest. "You better stop, or so God help me, I will make you stop, and trust me, you do not want that."
Something akin to fear crept into my chest. I have never, ever heard him raise his voice before.
"Had I known that you were going to be the bane of my existence, I would have ignored you at the park back then!" I screeched at him, trying very hard to get my hands back by thrashing around.
"Had I known you were going to be like this, I wouldn't have taken a photo of you!" Wooyoung's grip got so tight that I literally felt no blood circulating towards my hand.
"You good for nothing ass, you're hurting me! Let me go!" I growled, but it came out as a whine.
"Not until you calm down!"
We went back and forth like that, arguing like little children. The fight between us was a destruction in the making, tearing us instead of bounding us together.
I swallowed the anger that threatened to spill out of me, and it grew in my chest as the person I loved did absolutely nothing to wipe the tears from my eyes. At least he was a bit surprised when I screamed a scream from deep within, and it terrified the both of us because it didn't even sound like me.
"How am I supposed to look at anyone else?" I cried, my head leaning on his chest out of exhaustion. "I don't want anyone else anymore because I will be afraid to trust."
"I'm sorry," was all he said. He didn't even want to wrap his arms around me and just let me hang in there.
"No, you're not," I cried even harder. 
"Y/N, please, you're making this difficult for me," his voice breaks in the middle. I feel the intensity in his voice, a massive amount of emotion behind every word he spoke.
"And how do you think I feel, Wooyoung?"
"I understand, but--"
"This is how you are, full of excuses, full of shit!"
"Let me talk--"
"Why are you leaving me? Why are you--"
"Because I love you!"
I must've looked so shocked, so devastated, and so scared that Wooyoung, himself, started breaking down. We held each other as if it was our last, and at that moment, it was just the two of us against everything in this world.
Wooyoung held my face with his shaking hands, tears flowing down from his own eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine. That somehow made me cry harder. "I love you so much, goddamn it," he choked.
"But you're not going to stay," I whimpered against his criminal hold. 
Though he felt so warm right now, I knew it wasn't going to last. I could get lost in his eyes right now because they felt like home as we both cried in each other's arms. After all the countless nights I wished he felt the same, this felt foreign. 
He was an oasis in a barren desert and the best thing I could do was stare.
"You appearing in my life was never planned," he whispered. "I never expected to fall as deeply as I did with you, Y/N."
"If you feel the same, then why can't you stay with me?" I asked pitifully.
"I can't, baby, this wasn't supposed to happen," he took a deep breath. "I can't love you."
"You can't, or you won't?"
He didn't respond. That got him. I sighed.
"Woo, look at me?" I tilted his chin up very gently until he did. "Don't do this to us," I pleaded. "You're looking at me with clouded eyes right now, you know I see through your lies..."
Wooyoung doesn't reply, choosing to walk away from me to pace across the room in a fret. I watched him collect his mind apprehensively.
"If I can't have me, then no one can," he finally said.
I stared at him as my heart started slowly breaking once again. This incomprehensible pain was consuming me bit by bit, my heart was bleeding.
"I would regret it for the rest of my life if I don't chase the longest dream I've ever had," his eyes were laced in pain. "The photography world is waiting for me..."
"Is this why you didn't want anything or anyone tying you down to this place, Woo? You didn't want to commit because you might never want to leave?"
That was it. The way he looked at me told me everything I needed to know. I had lost him before I even had him, and I can only weep and let myself come to terms with the one that got away. So I cried, I cried as Wooyoung held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth like he used to when we spent time together.
"Hush now," he started crying with me. "I hate that it seems you were never enough." He hugged me tighter. "Because you are, you were more than enough."
"But I'm the one that should mean something! So help me understand," I sobbed harder in his arms, afraid to let him go because he might disappear if I do.
He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. "If one day we see each other again," he croaked. "However long that will take, we will try again for each other, okay?"
I shook my head like a crazed maniac, muttering no, no, no repeatedly. "Wooyoung," I wailed, holding onto his arms tightly. "P-Please don't leave me..."
I begged him over and over again like my life depended on it, and to be fair, I felt like I was going to die if he left me entirely. At this point I didn't care if I was going to be his second choice as long as he stayed.
"Y/N, please don't make this harder than it is," Wooyoung denied. "Go home, please I'm begging you. You're going to make me do something we'll both regret, please."
He was about to leave, but I held him back from behind, holding onto him as tight as I possibly could. "Stop it," he pleaded, trying to pry my arms off of him, but I held tighter, wailing harder.
"P-Please, please don't go," I bawled. "I'll do anything, I'll--"
"Stop it!"
His booming voice made me gasp, or maybe that was the sudden hold he had on my shoulders. The way his eyes darkened wasn't something I missed as his nails dug into my shoulders.
"Do not say that," he hissed, his dark eyes boring into me. "We are both in my room, alone. You know what that means, right?"
"So take me, Wooyoung."
Something changed in the air, and between the two of us right at this moment. Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit, his hold on my shoulders tightening , before he grimaced. "You don't know what you're saying," he laughed dryly.
I knew it was wrong, but right now I wanted nothing but to feel all of him. I will throw all the dignity I have right now, I don't care. The moment I begged him to stay, I'd lost it all, anyway.
"The notion of sin has never sat too well with me," Wooyoung gulped, his voice thick with lust.
"And leaving me does?" I blurted, my own eyes hazy with want.
Wooyoung shook his head fervently and sweat was beginning to form at his hairline. "Y/N, I am only a man, please don't make me do it..."
He buried his head in the crook of my neck, his breathing was so laboured and every time he took a breath, I felt everything on my skin. I mewled when I felt him pause, then lick the most sensitive part of my neck.
"Fuck, you smell and taste so good," Wooyoung growled.
Everything happened so fast. In a split second, his touch electrified every nerve in my body, the intoxication was instantaneous. He hurriedly grabbed my face and immediately put his lips on mine, like I was his air and he needed me to live.
His arms wrap around my back, and in one motion, our bodies collide. His hand was pulling and tugging my hair, muttering how soft they were in between kisses. I kiss him back with equal fervent, quickly opening my mouth so his tongue can explore. Our bodies fit together like we were made to do this.
He pulls away and we lock eyes for a moment, just enough to see that we were far too gone to stop, before we were back at it again, this time on his bed. The kiss we shared was of raw intensity, the groans he made behind his throat made every hair on my body stand up in attention.
"Baby," he groaned, his voice muffled because he was back to attacking my neck. 
"Hmm?" was I could reply with, especially with how rough he was kneading my breasts from under my shirt. 
"You held your breath for a minute straight while my tongue was in your throat."
I blushed deep. We were almost about to have sex and he still remembered that? I never thought his mouth would be this dirty.
We caressed each other's skin through the night, not getting enough of each other as we became one. His touches were exhilarating, whenever he laid his fingers on my skin tingles. Both of us move in sync, not taking our eyes off of each other.
There were no thoughts, and no focus - only lust and desire.
My back arches in anticipation from his light hands as he watches my reaction, feeling how my hands shook, watching my body tremble every time he used his fingers.
Whatever Wooyoung was doing, there was no stopping. Just his scent from above me was enough to incapacitate me. Every thrust he did was enough for me to fall deeper, and deeper for him and he never stopped until we were warm and snuggled after we were finished.
But nothing lasts forever - even guilty pleasures. 
"Wooyoung?" I asked nobody in particular the moment I woke up, my voice sore from all the screaming the night prior.
I sat up, covering my body with the blanket that smelled so much like him, looking around to see if he was somewhere since he wasn't lying down beside me on his own bed, but no. 
I didn't think much of it, maybe he just went to the bathroom to freshen up, but deep down my heart, I knew he had left.
There was something on the spot where Wooyoung was supposed to be - a piece of paper. I hesitantly picked up, realized it was a letter addressed to me, and opened its contents. Little dots of wetness dropped down the paper from every tear as I read on.
'To the one I'm letting go,
I'm sorry, Y/N. I am so, so sorry for everything I will put you through starting now. By the time you're reading this, I would have been long gone.
You will always be the most important person of my life, whether you believe it or not. You have absolutely no idea how wonderful and colourful you have made my life into for the past year and I always smile knowing that you'd be there to share my achievements with.
I knew I would develop feelings for you the moment I saw you in that park. God, you looked so beautiful. The fates were funny like that, because I wasn't even supposed to be at the park that day. My usual spot was unavailable that day.
Please be happy, do not forget your meals, study well so you can go into that college you've always wanted to, don't eat too many sweets because they make you hyper, be mindful of nuts in every food since you are allergic to them since I can't be there to check them for you anymore.
The gift of friendship as great as yours is something I will forever cherish in my heart, Y/N. Our little moments where we laughed and cried together still makes me happy to this day. You may have come into my life unexpectedly for what felt like a minute, but the mark you left will last us forever.
You're going to have to move on for me, and I will do the same, even if it hurts both of us, okay? I have to leave, it's either you or my dreams, and I know you have dreams of your own. This love will always hold us back.
However, if I see you again one day, I cannot guarantee that I will hold back because I am going to take you whether you like it or not and make you mine.
But for now? I cannot hate you, but I cannot love you either.
Yours, J. WY'
I hyperventilated, my hands shaking violently as I held the letter that might as well have been my death certificate.
I knew one way or another, this was going to happen and I was prepared for it so I wouldn't get hurt in the near future, but it hasn't fully hit me until now. 
Long ago, I had forgotten how to scream because they were either ignored or criticized with cruelty, but the way I screamed my soul out broke my own heart. My grief came in waves, ebbing gradually at the ocean that needed to bleed from my eyes.
"Oh, Wooyoung," I cried his name out pitifully, holding the letter close to my heart. I knew I loved him, but the loss of him really solidified how strong it was. How was I supposed to survive the feeling of something so dear that got forcefully ripped away from me?
I must've wallowed in my despair and self-pity a little too much, that I forgot that there were clutters and footsteps outside of the room. They were the reason I woke up. Could it be..?
I half heartedly rubbed my tear-stained face with my hands to make the swelling go away before I dressed up decent enough to step out.
The footsteps stopped when I apprehensively opened the door, the creak of it echoing across the otherwise barren room. 
My eyes widened and landed on two men who were both staring at me also wide-eyed the moment I opened my door, as if they were listening in on me suffering.
"Who the hell are you?!" I had meant for that to be threatening, but it came out as a pathetic squeak.
They both stepped back, surprised at the spunk I had even though it was clearly very early in the morning.
"We mean no harm, we promise," one of them said calmly. He reminded me of a bear, and the relaxed fit of his jeans that tucked his black tee made his form even bigger. "I'm Jongho, your brother and the two workaholics sent me..."
I raised my brow, he must be Hongjoong's assistant, the other workaholic was Mingi. Yeosang did also mention a best friend in passing. I raised a brow on the other one expecting him to talk.
He was tall, definitely taller than Mingi, and they kind of looked like each other, though this one reminded me of an overgrown puppy. He was very good-looking as well. He was lean, though there's definitely some bulk on him too.
He waves a set of keys in front of him. "I'm Yunho, San gave me the keys," he worriedly explained. "I was hoping you could explain. I made breakfast..."
The food was very good, but I didn't have the heart to tell Yunho that Wooyoung's cooking was the one I craved for. I gave them the letter Wooyoung had written for me as I filled them in on some details about what happened. They were Wooyoung's really close friends, so I didn't have to fill in too much details since they pretty much knew the majority of it.
"He never told you it was love at first sight," Yunho shook his head as he passed the letter for Jongho to read. "That bastard, I told him to stay away from you if he was just going to leave."
"We tried very hard to change his mind, believe me," Jongho sighed, taking a sip of the coffee I made him earlier. Both of his eyes shot up as he stared at me. "Though I suppose this is one of the reasons why he couldn't stay away."
That one struck a nerve. Wooyoung was the one who taught me how to make good coffee. 
Yunho cleared his throat. "San doesn't know Wooyoung has left yet. If he found out, he would beat the shit out of him. San liked you a lot, he convinced Wooyoung the most to stay."
"And Hongjoong?"
"Hongjoong is, well, he is who he is. He just knows everything. He probably told Yeosang because he didn't have the heart to tell you." 
Yunho's phone started ringing, it gave me a slight migraine because that thing was loud as hell. Yunho mutters a sheepish apology. "Hello?"
"Alright, which one of you soul-sucking bastards stole my keys?! What the hell is even happening?!"
That actually made me giggle. Now I know why these two were sent to check up on me - Yunho was very easy to get along with and Jongho was the rational one to balance things.
"Who is that?"
Yunho and Jongho took turns to fill San in on everything that went down, and I felt bad for him because that also meant that San lost a friend. His heartbroken questions were making tears in my eyes.
"Sannie," Jongho sighed. "This is why we took the keys, we didn't want you to find out this way."
"Where is he, then?" San's voice was tight.
"You don't know either?" Yunho asked in surprise.
"N-No, Y/N? Is she okay?"
That completely broke me. It was ironic that Wooyoung's friends, people I wasn't even that familiar with in the first place, were the ones more concerned about me. I bitterly let my tears out, with Jongho patting my back to comfort me.
I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried until I felt my voice grow weary with excessive use, not caring that these two strangers and a man on the phone heard me break down pitifully.
Forget about me, Wooyoung had also left the people who loved him as well - his friends. In that regard, he was extremely selfish because he knew that hurt he would give to everyone, but he chose to do what he did anyway.
And just like that, he was gone.
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I lost track of time, I don't even remember the last time I actually cared to check.
Depression is a silly thing, something that I used to think never ended, but it does actually; you're going to feel it when you hit rock bottom.
"Have a good day everyone," I waved from the doorway of Mingi's office.
The whole gang was here, except for my brother because he lived far away. Still, Yeosang has made it his life's mission to be there for me whenever I gave him a hint that I needed him the most. I felt bad, but I had nobody to turn to.
"Y/N, wait."
I was about to leave, to ignore that call, but I couldn't. Yes?"
Hongjoong stared at me for a full minute without saying anything, before sighing. "Take care of yourself."
I forced a smile on my face. I was happy that everyone was looking out for me even though I just can't outwardly express it. I actually appreciate that none of them were treating me like a wounded puppy.
Hongjoong might not look like he cared too much, but I notice his sharp eyes watching me when he thinks I wasn't looking. Wooyoung was the opposite.
Yunho was very sweet, he would often bake me pastries since I mentioned in passing that I loved them and they brought me joy. Wooyoung used to do that a lot.
Mingi was another nonchalant one. He would often offer me a vacation alone somewhere with all expenses paid. I denied. Being alone will make me think of Wooyoung more.
San was the one that accompanied me the most when I didn't want to move at all. He would bring me food at least four times a week to make sure I was eating. Wooyoung used to feed me, himself, if I wasn't in the mood.
Jongho, being the mature one, made me realize that there were more reasons to live this life. Perhaps it was my parents, maybe my pet dog, or maybe just to find out what happens tomorrow. Wooyoung had a very similar outlook in life. 
I was aimlessly walking around and I didn't even notice that I ended up on the bench I sat on, the same bench that had that beautiful wisteria tree. Only this time, there was no Wooyoung to take a candid photo of me.
"I guess I'm not the only one falling apart," I sighed, lightly touching the wilting petals of the once purple tree, now it was just a faded whitish lilac colour.
It was difficult to find happiness in the things that I used to like. I missed the way he hugged me, the sound of his voice, the tenderness in his actions. I missed the way he would whisper the corniest jokes against my ear and make me laugh, but most of all, I missed the way we used to be.
He was my first thought of the day, the light at the end of my tunnel. How must I separate these fantasies from reality? Would things be different if I didn't confess? Would he still be here?
The reality was that he has not had these fantasies, we did not build our dream together, so I have to let it go.
Even though he had left after the momentarily love we shared for one night, I can tell myself that at least I knew that he genuinely loved me at one point. My mind will be at peace because I wouldn't have to go manic wondering for the rest of my life if it was only me - I know now that we did truly mean something to each other. 
We're so distracted by how things end, we usually forget how beautiful the beginning was. 
It was a quote I heard somewhere. My love was a myth, but Wooyoung never believed in myths, and so that was both the start and end of our story. Some things are only real if you believe that they are. 
A lone tear slipped away as I remembered how beautiful the wisteria was when we had first met. His absence will be the best part of me, I decided, so hopefully for the last time after a while, I weep again. 
I will wait for him, no matter how long it took.
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3.5 YEARS LATER
I sat in front of the vanity table in my hotel room, staring at myself from the big mirror wearing my white satin robe, it made my complexion pop into a champagne rose hue. 
I made eye contact with the person looming behind me through the mirror. "Would you like me to tell them to adjust the makeup and your hair?" he asked me tenderly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I figured you'd love a natural look so I made it happen."
"No, it's perfect, you always know what's best for me," I smiled widely, putting my hand on top of his gently. It was the truth, it managed to bring out me feminine side, and therefore, my self-confidence as well.
I was the happiest I've ever been today, especially because I was finally with the love of my life. He frowned a bit when I pulled him a bit closer to fix his slightly rumpled collar and hair.
"I like the blonde, my love," I ran my hand on it in a trickling motion so I wouldn't mess it up.
He smirks, grabbing my hand to kiss it. "Yeah? That's good, I was feeling tired of the red, plus I don't think it would be appropriate for today."
I chuckled a bit. I have always loved his style, it was so masculine but also so chic and sophisticated at the same time. He was already wearing the suit and tie I had chosen for him today.
I will miss the red hair though, I still remember feeling uneasy when I saw his red hair for the first time, but I have come to love it over time. This blonde was making me feel some type of way.
I took a glance at my wedding dress that was placed at the far corner of the room. The lace upon lace design was very cozy and snug against my curves and it made me feel like the most beautiful bride in the entire world.
"So what's the schedule, darling? Your photography session here alone or with your bridesmaids for now?" he glanced at his wristwatch.
"Alone for now," I hummed. "I want Joongie, Sannie, and Yeo in here right now. You should go check with Yuyu and Mangi if you need alterations, and oh, check with Jongbear if he's all set with the wedding songs later?"
Over the years, I have gotten so close with the gang and they've all become my bestest of friends. The journey wasn't easy, but at least I've gained seven other lifetime friends.
He chuckled, clicking his tongue in amusement. "Alright, but calm down," he plants a quick kiss on my lips. "As much as I love when you're in your thinking mode, I want you to relax for today."
"I can't help it, Seonghwa, I've never done this before," I pouted.
Seonghwa squeezed my hand lovingly. "I know, me neither, but I'll be with you through everything, okay? And don't worry about those three knuckleheads, they're on their way."
"I love you, Hwa."
"I love you more, darling."
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and indeed, the three people I was expecting made their merry way towards me and Seonghwa. 
"Well, well, well," Yeosang strutted towards me. "If it isn't my favourite sister."
"I'm your only sister," I rolled my eyes, making everybody laugh. 
"Oh, Y/N, oh my goodness," Yeosang hugged me tightly. "Goddamn it, I shouldn't have gone here, you're going to make me cry."
"Shut up, Yeo, you're going to make me cry too," I choked, holding my tears back so I don't ruin my makeup. "I could barely hold myself when I saw Mom and Dad bawl their eyes out earlier."
It was like we were back in our childhood again where we supported each other whenever we got an achievement. We don't see each other much but our closeness never got less.
"I'm proud of you, you deserve this happiness," Yeosang smiled. "I'll see you out there, my back is hurting from Seonghwa glaring at my back for taking your time."
"I was not!"
"Some brother-in-law you are, Park Seonghwa!" Yeosang retorted.
We all laughed again, there's nothing better than having friends to celebrate your day with you. Yeosang left shortly and now I was with San and Hongjoong to check up on some things.
"The guests are coming in gradually," San lowered his glasses while he tapped away on his tablet. San was the one who arranged the beautiful venue of the outdoor garden where me and Seonghwa will marry as well as the food and invitations. 
San moved away from photography a couple of years ago and started a business on coordinating events. "I reckon they'll all be here within two hours," he continued, but paused hesitantly. "There might be one seat vacant, I'm not sure he'll come..."
The air was a bit tense. I knew who he was talking about. "It's okay, Sannie, we have back up photographers in case he doesn't want to do it..."
Hongjoong cleared his throat loudly. "Congratulations," he grinned from the other side of the room.
"Thanks, Joongie, you're the best," I grinned back, thanking him for more than what I was referring to.
Hongjoong was the one who designed my wedding dress from scratch, and Mingi designed Seonghwa's. It was their first wedding haute couture and definitely not their last.
"Any adjustments you want me to make? I would ask you to try it on, but that's bad luck. " he joked. I shook my head no. "Alright. But I'm sure you'll look good. We're very happy for you, Y/N, we really are."
It felt great to hear it in general, especially on my wedding day, but it meant a lot coming from Hongjoong. All of them were brothers to me, but he was the eldest one.
"Seonghwa, if you think of hurting her," San cracked his knuckles. "You know what will happen."
"Yeah, yeah, sure San, you're scared shitless of killing bugs, let alone beat me up," Seonghwa rolled his eyes, making us all laugh our heads off because it was so true.
Mingi, Yunho, and Jongho also popped in after a while to say their congratulations. Yunho was in charge of hosting the reception, which came naturally for him since he has such an engaging personality.
"I'm so nervous, what if I stutter?" Yunho groaned. "Though I'm sure Jongho here is more nervous."
"A little," Jongho admitted. We were all surprised, he usually does very well on literally everything.
"Jjong, you're literally the best singer I've ever heard," I cheered him on.
"It's not that, this is different. This is your wedding we're talking about."
"That's true and all," Mingi chided in. "But I'm pretty sure Seonghwa is the most nervous out of everybody. Y/N, you gotta tell his ass to calm down, I couldn't even properly adjust his suit, for God's sake!"
We all turned our heads when the sound of another knock resounded through the room. We all looked at each other in confusion, Yeosang was the only one not in here and he would never knock before entering.
Yunho took the initiative to open the door, although apprehensively. He opened the door in an angle where we couldn't see who was outside, but he did, and when he did, he gasped loudly.
"What the fuck!" he shut the door loudly and leaned against it, pale white.
The room was silent, Yunho wasn't the type to curse in general. We all looked at him with very wide eyes and he stared back with his mouth agape.
"Yun, what the hell was that?" Mingi broke the silence, as calm as the ocean.
"I-I, uhm, I-I don't th-think," he stuttered.
"Oh, what the hell," Jongho rolled his eyes, walking towards Yunho and pushing him out rather roughly so he could open the door himself.
Jongho muttered a curse under his breath, before closing the door a bit gently this time, but he also had the same shocked expression on his face. This time I was freaking out, wedding jitters and all.
"Yah!" someone on the other side shouted, banging on the door.
"Open the damn door!" Seonghwa seethed, but quickly muttered a 'sorry' when I glared at him.
Both Yunho and Jongho opened the double doors at the same time, and the person entered. My mind had a small explosion, my heart beating twice the speed it should have, and the hairs all over my body stood up in the collective gasps we all had when we saw him.
He was someone I never thought I'd ever see again, someone I dearly missed even though we ended on a sour note, someone I couldn't wait for anymore even though I told myself I would.
"Wooyoung," I whispered, a bit teary eyed.
"Wooyoung," Seonghwa confirmed, but I could see how nervous he became.
"Wooyoung?" Mingi asked in surprise.
"Wooyoung!" Hongjoong laughed in disbelief. "Wooyoung," San growled, gritting his teeth.
"Oh hello there, Wooyoung," Yeosang suddenly entered the room. I can tell he was upset, especially because he patted Wooyoung's back in a "friendly" manner.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Wooyoung screamed his signature loud screech, but it was too late.
His squawks get louder as everyone, except me and Seonghwa, swarmed him aggressively, like a mob that threatened to end his existence. There were laughter mixed with complaints but overall, everybody seemed happy.
"You crazy son of a bitch, you have us worried, you never even called or texted!"
"Wow, you're uglier than before---ow!"
"Don't ever think of leaving again!"
"Come here, you monkey!"
I felt Seonghwa tense from behind me. I patted his arm, causing him to look at me. I frowned a bit, his eyes held anxiety and inferiority. I understood, the man I used to love was here.
"Alright, alright! Get off me, you airheaded buffoons!" Wooyoung shouted, trying to push everyone off, but ended up laughing hysterically with Mingi and Jongho.
Hongjoong only shook his head and rolled his eyes but I can tell he was happy. San grabbed his collar harshly and for a moment, we thought he was angry, but he ended up pulling Wooyoung into a bone crushing hug and Yunho had to pull him away to give him a hug of his own.
Yunho had always carried the burden of guilt for the past year, he kept saying that he could have stopped Wooyoung back then. Yeosang ruffled Wooyoung's hair roughly, something he did when he's overwhelmed on how to express his feelings.
"Have you guys seen, uhm--oh," Wooyoung began, but faltered when his eyes met mine., his smile dropping in slow motion. He didn't know I'd be here.
The air became tense all of a sudden. A sudden heartache filled my mind with dread, flashbacks of what happened years ago reminding me of the bond we made only for it to break. But even though it hurt, I was genuinely happy he was here, so I put a smile on my face.
He was shocked, his eyes going back to the same twinkle he had back then, but it quickly disappeared when Seonghwa cleared his throat, then I saw it disappear permanently.
"We, uh, we should leave you guys to talk," Seonghwa murmured.
"A-Are you sure, Hwa?" I hesitated, holding onto his arm to stop him from moving. 
I wasn't the only one surprised when Seonghwa nodded lightheartedly. "Mhhm," he hummed. "Plus," he glanced at Wooyoung. "This is a long overdue conversation."
With that, everyone left the room, but not before Seonghwa shook Wooyoung's hand. My heart was filled with pride. "Nice to see you again, old friend," Seonghwa patted Wooyoung's shoulder gently. This is why I loved him, he trusted me wholeheartedly.
Seonghwa knew everything, from how Wooyoung met me, to how grateful I was for everything he's done for me, all the way to him leaving me. Seonghwa and Wooyoung and pretty much everyone used to be good friends but he had to move away when they were younger because of his parents' work. He cried for me, he cried for everything I've been through, and cried for how far I've become.
Wooyoung stood awkwardly from where he was after Seonghwa had left, and I didn't even know what to do either. I wasn't even sure if he was the same person he was before he left, three years was a long time. We were strangers to each other at this point because I definitely have changed.
"S-Sit, Wooyoung, please," I blurted, not looking him in the eye as I pointed at the sofa across from where I was.
I stared at him as he awkwardly did as he was told. The years have been bittersweet to him - he had become unbelievably handsome, but his eyes had lost that youth and spark to it. 
He had more muscle to him, and his face had matured into this angular and chiseled appearance - his brows were more prominent, his cheekbones higher, and his jaws stronger. His hair was longer too, instead of the bright red I knew him for, he had this black and blonde layered on top of each other like an Oreo cookie.
"How are you doing, Y/N?" he softly asked. Even his voice got deeper, more booming, but it was still as calming as I remembered it to be.
"I'm good, I feel really happy," I genuinely replied. "I'm glad you're able to come despite your schedule."
"Of course," he sighed. "I'm surprised you still invited me."
"Why wouldn't I?" I whispered, all the hurt threatening to spill out from me. "B-But how have you been? Did you get what you wanted?"
I knew the answer to that question. Of course he did, Wooyoung was now a well-known photographer who was in-demand all over South Korea. He was basically a celebrity, but I still wanted to hear it come from his mouth.
Wooyoung smiled tightly. "Yes and no," he said cryptically.
"W-Why?"
Wooyoung stared at me for a minute, his eyes not giving away what he was feeling. My heart almost burst out of my ribcage. He tried so hard, but he was fiddling with his pants, a sign he was nervous.
We might be two different people now, but I still knew him like the back of my hand. 
"So," he cleared his throat, finally looking away. "Seonghwa, huh?"
I hummed, letting him get away with the fact that he was changing the topic. "Yeah, we just clicked," I smiled shyly. "A couple of months after you left, Joong introduced us together..."
He nodded, choosing not to reply. It got awkward again after that, the silence filling the room in an uncomfortable manner. He was only a couple of feet away from me, but he felt like miles back. My heart cracked a little, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
"I-I'm happy for you, Y/N, I really am," his voice cracked towards the end. "Congratulations on y-your...wedding."
I swallowed a huge lump on my throat when I saw Wooyoung look down, his hands on either side of his head, cradling it as I heard him sniffle. It felt like thunder to my ears, but I chose not to comment on it so as to not embarrass him.
"It was nice the first year, I felt like I was on top of the world with nothing tying or holding me back," he laughed bitterly. "But afterwards, I felt like shit. I had no family, no friends, no you. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life."
I stayed silent, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I would cry too. "I'm afraid now, little dove, I'm so afraid of doing things now because that one, single mistake cost me my whole life..."
I bit my lip hard, my heart breaking a little bit more for him. Oh, how the tables have turned, I used to be the one that always got scared of trying something, and it took me a while to fully commit to Seonghwa.
"I am so, so sorry, Y/N..."
I let Wooyoung pour his heart out, letting him sob silently on the sofa. I gripped my robe tightly, wanting to go to him like the old times, but I couldn't, not because I didn't want to, but because Wooyoung needed his moment. He wasn't only crying for the both of us, but for the suffering, the loneliness of being alone, and everything he went through to get the success he longed to have.
"I'm proud of you, Wooyoung, you did well. You did what you had to do back then, I can't fault you for that," I told him. "Yes, I was mad at you, I'm not going to deny that, but I forgave you a long time ago."
I finally let out all the things I've always wanted to tell him. "One day you were just gone, you couldn't even explain why. We were best friends, soulmates, or so I thought."
"What killed me the most was I felt like our journey together had just begun, and you had left too soon," my breath hitched. "You came, then you left, and you took parts of me I didn't know existed, as well as yours because I never had the chance to explore you."
He stayed silent, listening to me like he once did years ago. "To this day I still ask myself what happened, Wooyoung, what would life have been if you had stayed? What would it be like if we did things differently? For the longest time, I blamed you for leaving, and then myself for letting you go so willingly."
Wooyoung shook his head. "It's not your fault," he gulped. "I blamed myself for your cries that I pretended not to hear, for the anger that consumed me, I blame myself for not holding your hand tighter, for the tears I did not wipe away, and I blame myself for the loss of you."
He stares at me with his tear-stained eyes, not bothering to cover all the emotions he tried to hide earlier. He grinned bitterly at me, I knew how much it meant for anyone to tell him how proud they were of him.
He puts his palm over his chest, eyes closed. "If only you can feel how hard this heart beats for you," he whispered. "It's all for you, but would you be mad if I told you it's not as strong as it once was?"
I wanted to hold his hand once more like we used to do when we were still together, not as lovers, but as good friends, but I was frozen on my chair.
"Why would I be?" I tilted my head curiously, tutting at him lightheartedly to lift the mood in the room. "You underestimate me."
Finally, he smiled genuinely. "I can't help it," he chuckled. "The intensity is less, I can't repair all the hurt I gave you."
He paused, hesitating if he should say what he wanted to say, but he opened his mouth anyway. "You were my dream after all," he whispered begrudgingly. "I was blind not to see it."
That did it. The dread and burden I've been feeling was finally lifted off of me and I finally feel lighter than a feather.
The wounds he gave me were still there and they will heal slowly, but I can't deny my own heart right at this moment.
"Woo?" I smiled tightly. He looked at me expectantly, and it made my insides mushy. "My heart that beated for you will never stop either, so don't beat yourself up. I can never get rid of it."
He stared at me like I held the stars from the sky and offered it to him. In hindsight, I might as well have done it. He scoffed lightly. The insinuation was there, but that's all there is - that I still held him in my heart but it stops here.
"Don't be afraid to try new things, weren't you the one who always told me that? You miss the shots you don't take. If you don't want to make the same mistakes as you did with me, grab them while they're still there," I shrugged.
It was like nothing happened, as if we weren't separated for so long because of our circumstances. We finally caught up, laughed, giggled, gossiped like we used to before things got bad between us. I missed him so much, the way he would laugh like a dying fox, the way his eyes crinkled up, all of it.
We talked, we cried, the whole nine yards. The missing piece I didn't know was missing until now finally completed me. How have I lived that long without him?
"You got your wish now," Wooyoung jokes. "You finally have Mars once you marry Seonghwa."
Ah yes, Seonghwa helped me all throughout my journey. If it wasn't for him, I would have been a goner.
I scoffed, the nostalgia hitting me like a ton of bricks. "I can't believe you still remember that," I laughed. "I do have Hwa now, yes, but the planetarium will always be my first Mars."
Wooyoung smirked playfully. "It had better be. I hated it."
"What?" I threw a pillow at him jokingly. "Why did you take me then?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he snickered.
He was about to throw a pillow at me too, but when he saw my solemn expression, he stopped. 
This time the nostalgia hit us both. That was exactly what he said when I asked if I had to pay for the very first photo he took of me.
Instead of being sad, one look at each other and we burst out laughing, giggling, and guffawing like hyenas in the wild, not caring if anybody heard us and thought we were crazy.
"Y/N?" Wooyoung uttered endearingly. I hummed in response. "Can I hold your hand for the last time?"
I held my hands for him, and he grabbed it so gently I wanted to cry. They were warm, and he held on yet simultaneously set me free.
He brought my hands to his chest, looking like he wanted to kiss them, but he held back out of respect for Seonghwa. Instead of his lips, tears fell onto them.
"If there is another life," he whispered. "I hope I can meet you again and if not, I will find you until I cease to breathe."
His heartbeat was so steady, and I felt my body shake, and once more, my eyes filled with unshed tears and I cried for the both of us this time. He releases one of my hands and wipes my tears delicately.
"Please don't cry, not for me again," he croaked, trying his very best to stop his own tears. "I don't want you to ruin your makeup."
"It's okay, Seonghwa and his team did my makeup anyway," I sniffled. "I hope in the next life you're not going to hate that you need me."
"Never," he objected. "Even if we don't remember, my heart will know."
I swatted his arm playfully. I never meant to giggle a little at that, he had always been so poetic and so cheesy. I guess some things never change.
"Stay for the wedding and reception, please?" I fretted. "I want my best friend there. Mingi tailored a suit for you in case you came."
I was nervous, afraid that he would reject my plea because he might feel out of place. I sighed a breath of relief when I saw him beam.
"I'll be there," Wooyoung mused. "I owe you this at least, Y/N, and I am going to give you and Seonghwa the best photos you both will ever see."
I cheered internally, but my excitement tipped over the top and I couldn't help but outwardly show it. Wooyoung laughed and we finally pulled ourselves in a hug to seal the deal. It was enough to make up for all the years we spent apart because one touch entwined our souls.
I realized that the electric spark that once tickled my skin whenever Wooyoung touched me was still there, and it was as strong as I knew it to be, but they no longer burned.
More tears made their way on Wooyoung's shirt when I recognized that I had healed a long time ago. I had mourned my loss and woke up anew, and the passing time did wonders too.
"Did you feel that?" Wooyoung mumbled, and I knew he referred to that spark.
"Yes," I squeaked. "Yes, I did. But why did you lie?"
Wooyoung paused from rubbing soothing circles on my back. "What do you mean?"
"I can feel your heart. The intensity never lessened, Wooyoung, you lied."
He pulled away from me, his lips pursed as he held my face with his hands. "I have to," he admitted. "I can't ruin the happiness you have found for yourself."
There were no words that needed to be spoken. We had finally found the closure we both needed.
The rest of Ateez entered the room one by one and gave both of us a knowing look. Wooyoung and I both grinned at them and gave them a thumbs up, to which they cheered loudly.
"You good, darling?" Seonghwa kissed my forehead as the others whisked Wooyoung away with teasing tones so he could change his outfit.
"Thank you, Hwa, thank you so much," I gushed, melting at his solemn embrace.
Seonghwa had always been there for me, he was so loving and patient towards me, and most of all, Seonghwa had chosen me, and I chose him.
He had his work too, he was a makeup artist, and that required traveling a lot, but instead of leaving me like Wooyoung did, Seonghwa did everything in his power to take me with him so we could be together. He didn't give up on the love we shared.
Wooyoung and I still loved each other dearly, but we had chosen our paths a long, long time ago - he chose to leave, and I chose to move on with my life. Seonghwa had made me realize that if you really loved somebody, nothing will stop you. 
I kissed my future husband tenderly on the lips, to which he returned with urgency. The love I felt for him was different from the love I had for Wooyoung, but it burned just as brighter, if not stronger.
It was the true love I had longed to have.
Seonghwa and I finally tied the knot. Our wedding was a celebration of our love and those who came to celebrate it with us. It was simple, pure and all I ever wanted.
"I, Park Seonghwa, promise to love you, L/N Y/N, and cherish you until my last breath, and even then, you have to make sure I'm dead because I will always come back to you," he vowed, making a couple of people laugh. "You came in at the right time of my life, and I promise that for as long as I am here, I will make you the happiest woman on Earth. I love you so, so much, my darling."
I couldn't even get the words out, tearing up profusely especially with how Seonghwa looked at me with such love. At this point I wasn't the only one sniffling.
"I, L/N Y/N, promise to love you, Park Seonghwa, and cherish you until--- wait, if you go, then I'll be lonely, so please don't go," I giggled along with our friends and family. "You are the reason I'm alive, and I cannot believe I am marrying the love of my life. I will be yours as you want me to, Hwa."
The moment the priest announced that Seonghwa can kiss the bride, everybody whooped and cheered loudly and I couldn't help but laugh in between my now husband's kiss. I could've sworn I saw Hongjoong shed a tear or two but San was too busy teasing the elder by cooing at him mockingly.
Yeosang almost protested when Seonghwa's kiss lasted a little too long, but Wooyoung had quickly covered his mouth and pulled him away while he flailed his arms comically.
The wedding reception was a beautiful garden party that oversaw the lake. We were all surrounded by the fragrant petals that amplified the romantic sunset that gave the sky a pretty tinge of pink and purple.
Yunho was a wonderful host despite the initial nervousness he held and there was never a dull moment, especially when Mingi had caught the flower bouquet I had thrown over my shoulder. The gentle giant's reddened face was definitely the highlight of the night.
Jongho's voice filled the entire reception, to which me and Seonghwa encouraged everybody to dance to the rhythm whether Jongho sang a passionate song for us or an upbeat jazzy tune that made all of us dance the night away. Of course in between, me and my now husband would kiss and everyone would hoot.
Just as our wedding and love were elegant and sweet, so was our wedding cake. Everybody dwindled down to eat and drink to their heart's content. My feet were killing me anyway so I chose to sit down at my spot at the front with Seonghwa.
"You really went all out with this, huh?" I teased him.
He laughed, his deep sending delicious shivers up my spine. "Heck yeah," he snorted. "This is a once in a lifetime thing, baby."
As we watched everyone enjoy the night with their friends and family, I saw Wooyoung bowing to this old man, a friend of my father's, with a huge smile on his face after giving him his calling card.
I was happy for him, it looks like he finally followed his heart and scored another deal after being scared of doing another one. I watched him take his phone out and call somebody giddily, and when he dropped the call, I laughed as I saw him punch the air in excitement.
It was as if he knew someone was watching him. Wooyoung looked back and we made eye contact for the last time as old lovers. There were no words between us, but a million things in our eyes as we finally let go of all the hurt.
He smiled at me, nodding once, and I did the same, smiling back at him softly, before he turned around and left the venue.
And just like that, he was gone.
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skzimagines · 3 months
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Jealousy
“Who is she?” I say sternly. “Who is who?” He asks. “The girl you were making oggly eyes over at the party all night.” I throw my bag onto the counter as we make our way inside our shared apartment, just coming home from one of the parties Chan decided to throw. “What the hell are you talking about?” He asks, taking his jacket off, throwing it over the back of one of the bar stools. “Oh don’t act like you weren’t.” I make my way into our shared bedroom, sliding off the dress I wore tonight and throwing it into the hamper. Leaving me in nothing but my red lace panties. Minho follows behind. “You’re crazy to think I’d be starring at anyone other than you.” He states. “I saw you starring at her Minho, I’m not stupid.” I sit down at my vanity and start to take my makeup off. Minho stands behind me, arms crossed over his chest. “Well what about you and wooyoung?” He asks, venom stinging through his voice. “What about wooyoung?” My voice raises a bit higher this time, getting pissed at the fact he’s trying to change he subject now. “You two were all over each other when we got there!” Now he’s raising his voice. “All over each other? Minho, we hugged! It was a simple hug! And a quick hello! You on the other hand had no issue sitting right in front of me eye fucking another girl!” I yell. My face turning red from lack of oxygen. “He likes you y/n and you know it! You just refuse to fucking see it!” He yells back. “I don’t care if he does because I only have eyes for you! But apparently you have your eyes on me and someone else!” I stand up and make my way to our shared closet, grabbing a hoodie and sliding it over my head, then proceed to grab a pair of shorts and put them on as well. "I'm leaving." I state. "And where might you be going y/n? It's 2am." "I don't know, maybe I'll go to Wooyoung's." I say, I don't mean it though. It's within the heat of the moment. "Take that back..." Minho's voice changes, its deep and quiet, so much different than what it was before. Even after being together for two years, he still sometimes intimidates me. "Y/N.. take it back, I'm not joking." For a moment our eye contact is intense. I clear my throat before pulling myself together. "I'm leaving." I state, walking over to our dresser and grabbing the car keys, I turn around to leave the room and Minho is standing directly behind me. My face is to his chest, if I look at him again, I'll cave in. So I keep my head down. All I hear is the silent sound of his breathing before his hand runs down my arm and to the hand that the keys are in. He slowly pulls the keys from my hand and throws them onto the bed. "You're not leaving me... you're mine, do you understand?" He says in a hushed tone. He brings his hand to my chin and pulls up, making me look at him. And here I am... looking into those big brown eyes once again. "You were looking at another girl Min..." I whisper. "Honey... I was not looking at anyone, I would never do anything to lose you. And if you don't recall.. you were standing right next to this girl you think I was looking at." He states. My mind goes back to earlier, I was standing on the dance floor with a few of our friends and a girl next to me was gyrating all over everyone around us. When I looked up, I just so happened to have caught what I thought was my boyfriend watching the girl. "I was watching you, baby." He whispers, running his hands down my sides until he reached my waist, gracefully picking me up, spinning me around and setting me on our bed. "I'm always watching you..." He whispers, planting open mouthed kisses along my neck. I turn my head to the side to give him more room to work and wrap my arms around his shoulders, playing with the back of his hair. "I'm sorry.. I whisper. "Oh, darling. You have no reason to be sorry." His hands explore my body, before sliding underneath my shorts and cupping my heat. A sharp squeak leaves my lips at the feeling of his long fingers rubbing my sensitive bud. "You do have something you need to be punished for saying though..." He says with a smirk.
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blackhairedjjun · 1 year
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the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
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pairing: choi yeonjun x gender neutral reader | genre / tropes: fluff, friends to lovers, reader who likes to cook, ft. friend!taehyun | word count: 2.7k | warnings: food, some profanity
author's notes: yeonjun birthday fic made it on time!! this was more rushed than my usual writing bc i was cramming it in between work, i've been super busy these days :'( but i've wanted to do yeonjun with an s/o who loves to cook for him for a while, and his birthday was the perfect opportunity to write it. so i'm relieved to get this out!
this fic has been cross-posted to ao3 here
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the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
you never believed the sentiment yourself until your friend taehyun invited you to hang out with some of his other friends. at the first mention you had doubts about going, but when taehyun mentioned the word potluck, you just couldn’t resist 一 he knew it was a magic word for you.
you didn’t prepare anything too fancy, just a modest batch of tteokbokki. you love how comforting the dish was, from the warm and spicy aroma of the sauce to its soft and springy rice cakes, and it’s a safe thing to make to leave a good impression on taehyun’s friends. at his house you set your tteokbokki on the makeshift buffet table that he had set up, and pray that the guests would actually give your dish a chance.
you underestimated just how much of an impact it would have.
taehyun’s friends love it, but one friend in particular catches your eye. as he takes his first bite his expression changes, his whole face seemingly glowing with delight. his smile is so wide that he’s barely able to keep his mouth shut to chew, and he squirms in his seat in a little dance.
you’ve cooked for others plenty of times before, but you’ve never seen anyone so utterly transformed by your cooking.
“this is so good! mm, i’m so happy... this is so yummy, really... wait, who brought this again?”
taehyun gestures towards you. “y/n cooked it. they’re really good, right? this is, well, it’s their thing.”
his friend whips his head towards you, the wide smile still plastered on his face. it reaches all the way to his eyes, and you see the way they shine in appreciation.
“thank you so much for bringing this,” he says. “can you make this again when you come back?”
you’ve only known this friend for an hour or so and he’s already talking about coming back, which makes your heart flutter and your face grow warm. “s-sure, i’d love to.”
it’s a few months before you’re free again to come to the next hangout, and when taehyun reintroduces you to his friends you note the name of the one whose face lit up at your tteokbokki: yeonjun. this time you’ve brought some spaghetti cooked in freshly made tomato sauce, and again it’s a hit. yeonjun loves it as much as the tteokbokki, and when he’s slurped up his plate and cleaned up he thanks you profusely and looks at you as if you were a saint 一 the patron saint of good food, perhaps. you can’t help but give him a shy smile, and you swear that his cheeks turned a little pink at the gesture.
the day flies by in the presence of good food and good company. when you finally have to leave, yeonjun stops you for a moment; he meets your gaze head on, but the fidgeting of his hands betrays him.
“d’you want to hang out sometime? just you and me, i mean.”
“oh, are you sick of taehyun too?”
from the corner of your eye you see your mutual friend laugh and give you a sly grin. your remark seems to fluster yeonjun, though; he turns his head away to collect himself, which only makes taehyun laugh a bit more.
“i was kidding, i was kidding. but yeah, i’d love to hang out.”
“cool, great.” 
“yeah, cool.”
you try to play it off but your heart pounds in your ears. and though yeonjun is leaning against the wall and trying to seem calm about the whole thing, his heart is racing just as much.
you don’t cook for your first hangout together (he brings you to his favorite ramen shop in the area, which also happens to be your favorite ramen shop in the area) but on your second hangout you make an impromptu meal by cobbling together a stew from whatever you have in your fridge. yeonjun devours it, eating every vegetable and chunk of meat and sip of stew with pure joy all over his face, and when he’s done he stands up to wash the dishes for you. you try to stop him, only for him to gently take your hand before you can grab a sponge. his touch sends a jolt of electricity right through you.
“let me do this for you,” he says. “i wanna thank you for the meal.”
“you don’t have to, yeonjun, i just threw a bunch of stuff together in a pot一”
“please?” he says with a pout. “you’re so sweet for making this, let me repay you.”
his eyes meet yours and you feel your heart soften at the way he looks at you. “okay, fine... and thank you.”
you hang out with him many more times 一 sometimes he invites you, other times you invite him. there’s always a bit of food to share, whether it’s snacks from the convenience store or a home-cooked meal by yourself, but it’s the little moments between the bites of food that make the time worth it. 
one hot afternoon yeonjun helps you clean up after your ice cream has melted and dripped on you, and his hands brush against yours as he dabs an extra napkin against a messy spot on your sleeve. another evening you laugh when he spills some of his pasta out of his plate from too much excitement, and you tut playfully as you give him a bit of your share. on another day you plan to have breakfast together at a nice restaurant to watch the sunrise, only for both of you to stay up late and oversleep. instead you invite him over and team up to make lunch, and soon your kitchen is a mess of flour and breadcrumbs from the breaded pork cutlets you’re trying to make. you sing along to yeonjun’s playlist as you soak a piece of pork in egg, and next to you he draws a heart with the flour residue on the countertop.
you don’t know when exactly your hangouts cross the threshold into dates, but at one point you realize that things feel different when it’s just you and him around. the world feels smaller, the light of day feels brighter,  and even the meals you cook seem to stay warmer for longer. taehyun catches up with you over text as usual all throughout, and when you tell him about your friendship with yeonjun, he simply texts back: friendship?
when yeonjun’s birthday draws near, you know exactly what you want to do: make one of his favorite foods, pho, from scratch. finding a good recipe online is easy, and visit to your local market provides you with every ingredient you need. it’s not the most complicated thing you’ve tried to make, and watching videos of other chefs try it out gives you a bit of confidence.
so why on earth are you so damn nervous to make it? 
“i’ve never been so scared to fuck up a dish in my life,” you tell taehyun as you skim some fat off the top of the broth simmering away in a pot. it’s the day of yeonjun’s birthday and you’ve got another hangout (or date?) later that night, and taehyun has offered to help with preps. 
“when you’re scared for something, it just means that you care a lot about it,” he says. he looks up from chopping the onions for the pho and gives you a nod. “you’ve cooked gifts for other people before, you can definitely do this.”
“that’s exactly it!” you say, tossing away the scum you’ve collected. “i made a whole pizza for your birthday this year, taehyun. i roasted pork for my parents’ wedding anniversary, and that should’ve been way scarier than this. but with yeonjun, i… i feel like i can’t fuck this up. if i think about serving him bad pho or even mediocre pho and him getting sad over it, it makes me want to throw myself out of here and go into hiding forever. i’ve never felt like that about anything before.”
“you’ve known him for a few months, not as long as you’ve known me. you want to show the best of yourself for him.” taehyun smiles. “that’s not a bad thing at all.”
“i guess.” you fidget with a wooden spoon as you mull over his words. he’s right, but it’s not like you wanted to settle for mediocrity with your other friends or with your parents either. there’s something else at play, but you dare not admit it out loud. (taehyun already knows anyway, you figure.)
you’re glad to have your friend’s company in the hours it takes for the broth to fully absorb all the flavors. taehyun puts on some of your favorite shows and helps you stretch to ease away your stress, and though you check on your pot from time to time, the two of you also prepare your space. he tells you about his own forays into cooking — he recently ordered a new set of knives that he can’t wait to try — as you place a clean tablecloth on the dining table and wash a set of bowls. his company grounds you and makes the nervousness swirling around in your stomach feel more like a gentle current than a roaring wave.
with the broth done and most of the pho ingredients ready for assembly, the two of you are waiting for the rice noodles to cook when a text from yeonjun arrives.
i’ll be there in 15 mins!
taehyun reads the text over your shoulder and grins. “do you need any more help with the pho?”
“nah, i’m good.”
“that means i can leave, then,” he says with an odd half-smile you rarely see on him. “enjoy your dinner with yeonjun.”
“thanks, taehyun. hey, wait一”
he picks up his bag in record speed and when you blink, he’s at your doorway. “tell me about it over text.”
“hey!”
he’s gone.
you’ve never seen taehyun leave your apartment so fast, and you suspect he knows something that you don’t. still, you don’t let yourself worry about it too much, not when preparing your pho should be the first thing on your mind. you check back on the noodles boiling away in your pot and let out a sigh.
i hope this turns out well, you think.
“so, y/n, what do you have ready for tonight? i hope it’s go一 oh...”
“happy birthday, yeonjun.”
whatever remark he was about to make fades into silence when you set down two bowls of pho in front of him. he’s entranced by the savory aroma, the steam swirling upward from each bowl, the noodles and thin slices of onions nearly glistening under the light. you see his lips form a perfect O, the way it always does when his favorite food shows up in front of him.
he doesn’t notice the way your hands tremble as you set down each bowl, or the way your eyes nervously dart back and forth between the pho and his expression. you wonder if he’s excited enough, if the pho will live up to his expectations, then you look at his bowl and think maybe he would like more noodles, maybe the cilantro should be fresher, maybe the broth isn’t salty or sour or spicy enough...
taehyun always said you’re your own worst critic, and you feel all the little criticisms coming in one after the other as you settle down opposite yeonjun. he does a little dance in his seat as he squeezes the lime over the bowl, then looks at you with a smile that lights up his whole face. “it smells so good,” he says. “i can’t wait!”
that’s one good sign, but nothing definitive.
“well, i won’t keep you waiting any longer,” you say. “dig in!”
“thank you for the food!”
the moment it takes for him to slurp up the noodles feels like an eternity to you. as you watch him eat, you pray that the first slurp was as good as it should be, that the noodles were firm enough. then he looks up from the bowl and at you, and you pray that—
he’s smiling. 
it’s different from his earlier excited smile. this one also reaches all the way up to his eyes, but it’s laced with pure adoration. you’ve seen the way his face changes after eating good food countless times, but now this expression seems more tender; he gazes at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his life.
you swallow. “is it… good?”
“good? it’s amazing. y/n… you’re so good to me.”
you’re smiling back at him too, and something blooms in you as you gaze back. you feel full of many things: relief, appreciation, affection…
maybe even love.
you feel it bloom as you watch him slurp on the broth and savor each piece of beef with gusto, stopping only to gush about how good it is and how good you are. you feel it settle in you when you dig into your own bowl, savoring the rich flavors of the beef and spices and lime that you poured yourself into, not caring when a bit of broth dribbles off your chin or a noodle falls off and yeonjun giggles at the sight. and you feel it grow in your heart when you try to reach for his empty bowl to wash up, only for him to take your hand again. this time you feel not a jolt of electricity but a wave of warmth.
“rest, you worked hard today. i’ll clean up.”
“it’s your birthday, yeonjun! you are not washing the dishes on your birthday.”
“but what if i want to?” he pouts at you and he knows you can’t resist. “or we can wash them together? what if i want to spend my birthday washing up with you?”
you sigh but relent.
you don’t dare say it to him, but washing up with yeonjun is… comforting. it takes longer than usual, but you don’t mind as he talks about the gift his mom mailed him or about his plans with taehyun and the other guys tomorrow. he tells you some pretty bad dad jokes and you nearly drop the last bowl you’re rinsing from laughing at how awful they are.
he’s still laughing as he pries the clean bowl from your hands and sets it on the rack to dry, and as his hands brush yours, you meet his gaze. he’s looking at you with that same tender look from when he first tried the pho, and your cheeks begin to warm.
“thank you for cooking for me.”
“of course, i want to—”
“you’re always so good to me,” he says. he takes your hands in his, and yours start to tremble; it’s okay, because his do too. “i’ve never had someone who treated me like this before. i want to… i…”
he falters and looks away from you, and you see a hint of pink spreading across his cheeks. he sucks in a breath and when he looks at you again, you move your face closer to his.
you don’t remember who initiates the kiss; all you know is that his lips are on yours, soft and sweet. he wraps his arms around you and you relax in his arms, knowing that nothing your ever make will taste as sweet as this.
when you break apart for air he looks sheepish, nothing like the confident friend you’ve known, but you love the way his eyes shine. his voice is breathy when he speaks: “i like you, y/n.”
“i like you too,” you say, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and brushing your nose against his. a second kiss would be even sweeter, and his lips nearly brush against yours when…
your phone rings and you nearly jump out of his arms.
“what the hell!”
it’s taehyun.
beomgyu i think hyung would be confessing right about now
oh wrong chat
hi y/n :)
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Home Is Where The Heart Is.
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Synopsis - They say home is where the heart is. Your heart belongs to four guys you call your best friends. Also known as - four important times the boys told you they loved you.
Pairing - Frankie Morales, Will Miller, Santiago Garcia, Benny Miller x Female Reader.
Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption.
Age Rating - 18+
Word Count - 5k
Author's Note - is it weird that I have sort of compared each boy to a room in the house? maybe! but we're rolling with it, because it worked in my head. this is the first of a few fics like this, much like Tethered, Time and Tranquility - I have a few different TF boy comparison ideas. love these babies so much. <3
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Masterlist. Inbox.
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You follow the laughter floating down the hallway into your backyard. Standing against the doorframe, you watch as the boys double over in amusement while Benny reenacts the time Frankie fell in your pool. Their faces are illuminated by the golden glow of the fairy lights adorning your deck, moonlight shining down.
"And none of you helped me! Hermosa had to come and rescue me! At least I know who loves me the most," Frankie chuckles, tilting back in his chair to catch your eyes.
You make your way over and kiss him on the cheek, standing behind him and wrapping your arms around his neck.
"I don't think there was ever any debating that. You've always been my favourite," you coo, ruffling his hair gently.
"Give us a break," Benny teases. "We all know I'm your favourite, sweetheart."
Santiago scoffs and jabs Ben in the ribs, yelping when the younger man elbows him in retaliation.
"Cariño, put them out of their misery. Tell them I'm your favourite."
You catch eyes with Will, who's grinning at you across the table. He doesn't even have to say anything. He raises his eyebrows and winks at you, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek. You can't help but smile back.
"I mean, Will is currently very high on the list, because he built this table for me today."
Everyone groans as you and Will laugh, knocking on the table to check his handiwork.
"You did a good job," Frankie praises, kicking at a leg to see if it holds.
"I built your couch!"
"You can't build a couch, Ben."
"He did! It needed assembling!"
Benny blows you a kiss, thanking you for the assist.
"I did most of the painting," Santiago chimes in.
"Until your weak ass knees gave in," Frankie laughs.
Santi shoots daggers at him, both of them chuckling.
"Me and Hermosa tiled her bathroom. That took fucking forever."
"Frankie, I told you that I'd call a guy for that, and you told me you were the guy."
"You can't tell me those tiles aren't gorgeous."
You shrug, squeezing him tight.
"You're right. They are. I admire them everytime I shower."
"Ooo, tell us more," Benny teases, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
"Pervert," you and Will say in unison, both shaking your heads.
You settle into the chair next to Frankie, popping the cap off your beer.
"I honestly don't think I'd have any furniture without you guys. This house wouldn't be a home if it wasn't for you."
All of their attention is on you, focusing as if you're the only girl in the world. You feel like it sometimes, when you're all together.
"I can't believe you've been moved in for an entire year," Santi muses. "Feels like only yesterday we were helping you unpack all those boxes."
"Time flies when you're having fun," you beam at him.
As the evening settles and the sun begins its descent, you start to think about just how many parts of the boys live in your house. The furniture, the paint, the lights. At least one of them helped you with basically every single element. You think of all the memories filled with happiness and laughter that have happened here over the last year, and your eyes well with tears. You meant what you said, earlier. Your house wouldn't be a home without them.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
The Living Room. Benny.
You're tangled with Ben on your newly assembled couch, a cheesy romcom acting as background noise. We have to test it out, he'd said. Just in case.
So here you are, nestled into his side, strong arm slung over your shoulder to pull you closer. You sip your drink, paying virtually no mind to the movie. You're making a mental list of all of the things you still need to do for the house - tile the bathroom, buy a lawnmower, paint literally every room. But the couch is a start.
"I can hear the cogs turning in that brain of yours," he laughs, pinching your side. "We're supposed to be relaxing. You know, really getting a feel for the couch."
"Right, right. Sorry," you chuckle, nudging him with your shoulder in retaliation. "Just thinking about all of the shit I've gotta do."
"Hey, we've got plenty of time. And you've got four guys ready to do whatever needs to be done. There's no rush."
Exhaling loudly, you realise he's right. There is no rush. Yes, you may have a never ending list of things you need to get done, but there's no time limit. You can take each job as it comes.
You turn your attention back to the movie, discovering that it's actually half decent. By the time you're an hour into it, you and Benny are laughing along. It's a sweet coming of age story, two teenagers falling in love for the first time.
You watch as the two characters share a kiss, all clumsy hands and unsure touches. You smile, and start to think.
"This bringing back memories, Ben?" you tease.
"Oh yeah. First time I ever made out with a girl, I couldn't get her bra undone. I was trying to give her a hickey at the same time, and I snapped the clasp against her so hard I made her bleed. Safe to say, we didn't make out again."
Both of you are crying with laughter, vibrating the couch with it.
"I can see the image so clearly. Teenage Ben with his frosted tips and his puka shell necklace. Bet you broke some hearts, huh?"
"Shut up," he chuckles. "I got tonnes of girls back then."
"I'm sure you did," you joke, pinching his cheeks.
He pinches your thigh and pulls you closer, settling back into the cushions.
"You know, I've never had one," you say after a while.
"Had what?"
"A hickey."
Ben pulls away and turns to face you, looking at you incredulously.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. Never got one as a teenager. Now I'm a grown ass adult, I always warn my partners not to leave marks. Guess I just missed out on the whole hickey thing."
Ben smiles at you, mischief rife in his eyes.
"You want one?"
You quirk your brow and turn your body towards him, putting some distance between you to look at him properly.
"What game are you playing, Benny Miller?"
He laughs, and the sound makes you smile so wide it's blinding.
"No games, baby."
"No?"
"I believe getting a hickey as a teenager and having to figure out how to cover it up in embarrassment is a rite of passage. And I'm weirdly sad you missed out on it. So, I'm offering to give you that experience."
"Out of the goodness of your heart?"
"Exactly. Because I am a kind, selfless, giving guy."
You pause for a moment, watching his face carefully.
"Okay."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," you laugh. "Show me what you've got, makeout king."
He chuckles at the nickname, but grabs your thighs to pull you closer. Benny plants a knee between your legs and leans over you, using a strong hand to hold onto your jaw. You tilt your head to the side, and brace yourself for his lips.
Instead, he takes his time. He noses up your neck, and then traces the path with the tip of his tongue. He blows onto your heated skin, making you shiver. Humming at your reaction, he leans in again, and connects his lips to the spot underneath your ear, kissing it softly.
"Benny," you breathe. "Don't tease."
"Whatever you want, baby."
Benny picks a spot on the side of your neck and sucks. When he's satisfied, he grazes his teeth over the mark, and uses his tongue to soothe the sting. Your eyes roll back, and you cant your hips into his knee between your legs.
You both lose yourself in the moment, chests heaving and breath panting. You separate yourselves to look at one another for a moment, neither of you breaking the gaze.
Suddenly, you burst into a fit of laughter, unable to stop it escaping. Within seconds, Benny joins you. Before you know it, you're both crying tears of joy, sides hurting and abs aching.
"Oh shit," you choke out between giggles. "How the fuck am I gonna cover this up?"
"That's half the fun, baby!"
"I hate you," you chuckle, smacking his side. "You're the worst."
"I love you too," he grins. "You're the best."
And when the rest of the guys ask what happened the next day, you and Benny discover that you make good improv partners. No one questions your elaborate story involving the couch and a runaway screwdriver. Benny winks at you cheekily, and you can't help but smile.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
The Bathroom. Frankie.
Repeated knocking at your front door breaks you out of your reality TV induced haze. You check your phone for the time. 8:34pm.
You swing it open to be met with the sight of Francisco Morales. He has Ava perched on his hip, fluffy pink backpack held in his other hand.
"Hey, you guys. You okay?"
"Hermosa, I'm so sorry for just dropping in with no warning. I have a favour to ask."
"Anything."
"Can I bathe Ava here? We're having some sort of plumbing emergency in our bathroom, and we can't get a guy out until tomorrow. I want her to have clean hair for when I take her back to her Mom's."
You wink at Ava, who sticks her tongue out at you cheekily. You mimic her and smile, glancing back to her Dad, who looks like the weight of the world is resting on his shoulders.
"Of course you can," you assure, reaching over to grab Ava from Frankie's arms. "Come on, baby girl. Let's get you clean!"
Frankie exhales a sigh of relief, and follows the two of you upstairs, locking the door behind him.
"Frank, did you bring shampoo and stuff, or shall we just use mine?"
He unzips the backpack and pulls out a couple of bottles.
"I have shampoo, and conditioner, but no body wash or anything."
You root around in your cabinet, finding a bottle with a label that contains words like sensitive and hypoallergenic.
"Vanilla and chamomile. Is that satisfactory for you, my princess?" you tease, grinning when Ava beams at you at the nickname.
You turn the water on and start to run the bath, trying to ignore the way you can feel Frankie's eyes on you as you bend over the tub.
"Bubbles, or no bubbles?" you ask, already knowing the answer. "Right. Stupid question."
"These tiles are hideous," Frankie says from behind you.
"Thank you, Frank. Appreciate it," you tease. "I'm gonna call a guy about getting it all retiled."
"What?"
"What?"
"Don't call a guy!"
"Why not?"
"I'll do it."
You look at him in confusion, before realising he's very serious.
"Do you... know how?"
"Hermosa, it's not rocket science. We can figure it out together."
You deliberate for a moment, looking at him carefully.
"Okay. As long as you don't mind?"
"Of course I don't."
You smile at him before leaving and disappearing downstairs for a minute, trusting Frankie to watch the water.
"Where did you go?" he asks on your return.
"I just put a towel in the dryer, so it's warm when she gets out of the tub."
Frankie steps over to you and cradles your face in his hands, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead. He's always been good at that - saying so much without saying a word.
"Princesa, you need help?" you ask, laughing as she struggles, head stuck in her shirt.
Soon enough, Ava's sat happily in all the bubbles, splashing around in the warm water. You and Frankie sit on the floor next to the tub, legs tangled and bodies pressed together. You lean in and rest your head on his shoulder as he throws an arm around you.
"Thank you for this. Seriously. I don't know what we'd do without you."
"It's no problem, Frankie. I love seeing her. Wish I saw her more."
"Me too," he says quietly.
You look up at him, and grab his chin so he meets your eyes.
"You're a damn good Dad, Francisco Morales."
He goes to protest, but you cut him off.
"You are. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You're doing a good job. I mean, look at her. She's happy, she's healthy, she loves you so much. What more could you ask for?"
Frankie stares at you for a moment.
"You're right."
"Can I get that in writing?"
"Shut up," he laughs, dipping his hand into the bath water to splash you. You splash him back, and before you know it, the three of you are completely soaked. Completely happy.
You eventually get around to cleaning Ava's hair, shampooing and conditioning as carefully as you can. She loves the fact she gets to use your body wash, and slathers herself in it, making you both smile.
You wrap her in the dryer warm towel and sit her in your lap on the floor, rocking gently as she snuggles into your chest. Frankie pulls you both against him, wrapping his arms around you tightly. The three of you sit for a while, peaceful and content.
"I know I don't tell you enough," Frankie murmurs. "But I love you."
"You tell me everyday, Frankie."
"I do?"
"You don't always have to say it out loud, but I know. The way you smile at me across a room, the way you always have one eye on me when we're in public, the way you trust me with Ava. You tell me you love me in a million different ways, every single day."
"I love you," he says again, surer this time.
"I love you. Both of you. So much."
When Ava falls asleep in both of your arms, you convince them to stay the night. The next day, she can't stop telling everyone about the best sleepover ever, with her Dad and her best friend.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
The Kitchen. Santiago.
You're completely in your own world. An upbeat, catchy melody hums from the radio and radiates around the room as you slide across the tiles in your socks. You grab your mixing bowl from the cabinet, picking up the bottle of vanilla extract too.
Your hips are swaying, head nodding, feet tapping along to the beat. The sunlight is beaming through the kitchen window, keeping the room bright and warm. There's flour covering every possible surface, sugar sprinkled over the counters. An array of bowls, cups and spoons litter the worktops - a visual representation of your efforts. You've barely even began baking, only just having measured your ingredients. You've set yourself up for an entire day of preparation, ready for the exciting occasion.
You're humming away to yourself, completely oblivious, when two hands plant themselves on your hips from behind. You shriek and throw your elbow backwards, connecting with the person's ribs. You spin around to face your attacker, only to be met with the sight of Santiago Garcia hunched over.
"Fuck!" he groans, clutching at his side.
"Shit! Santi, fuck. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
"Welcome home to me, I guess," he laughs breathlessly.
"Are you okay? Fuck, I'm so sorry, Santi. I thought you were an intruder or something. You're not supposed to be back until tomorrow!"
He smirks slowly, before winking at you.
"Surprise."
You finally calm your rapid heartbeat down enough to register what's happening. You grin at him, before running and jumping into his arms, holding onto him as tight as possible.
"I missed you so much," he breathes into your hair. "Four months is too long."
"I've been counting down the days," you whisper into his neck. "We all have."
He finally puts you down to take a good look at you.
"You look good, cariño. This dress is real pretty."
"Stop that."
"Stop what?"
He knows what.
"Looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"You're just full of questions today, aren't you?"
He laughs, twinkle in his eye. The sun has kissed his skin while he's been away. He looks tanned, glowy, alive.
"Last time you looked at me like that, we ended up naked in your hot tub."
"Good times, huh?"
"I hate you," you chuckle, smacking him on the arm.
Santi looks around, and takes in the scene before him. Ingredients scattered, bowls full, oven preheated.
"What are you making, cariño?"
You survey the kitchen quickly before answering.
"Nothing."
He smiles, Cheshire cat style.
"Nothing? You've measured everything out. The oven is on."
You're trying to figure out a way to cover this up, to make up a lie as fast as possible, but it's no use. He can see right through you. You might as well be transparent when it comes to the boys.
"I'm making you a cake," you mutter quickly under your breath.
"What was that? Hmm?"
You roll your eyes and scoff, but give him what he wants.
"I'm making you a cake."
He looks genuinely surprised, gentle smile gracing his face.
"You are?"
"Yeah. I wanted to do something special for you coming home. Tomorrow."
"Sorry, cariño. I didn't know I was coming back early. Thought I'd make the most of it and surprise you."
"Well, now your surprise cake and your surprise party aren't a surprise anymore."
"There's a party too?"
"Shit."
The two of you laugh as he slings an arm around your shoulder.
"Thank you, cariño. You didn't have to do all this for me."
"I wanted to. I'm so excited that you're back, Santi. There's so much I've missed doing with you."
"I made a list."
"Of?"
"Of things I wanted to do with you when I got back. It's what kept me going - thinking of going to that lunch spot with the sandwiches we like, our annual road trip to Cali. It kept me sane."
You turn to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You lean up and press your forehead to his, both of you exhaling. You stay tangled together for a long moment, enjoying each others long awaited company.
"You know what was on the top of my list, though?"
"What?"
"Painting your goddamn kitchen."
You laugh, pulling back to look at him incredulously.
"Are you serious?"
"Deadly. This colour is fucking awful."
"It's not that bad."
"It's terrible."
"Fine, fine! Whatever you want, Santi. You can paint my kitchen if that's what your heart desires."
"It is," he grins. "I can think of nothing I want more. We'll do it this weekend."
"Okay," you smile. "Now, about this cake..."
"Can I help you?"
"I can think of nothing I want more."
"I love you," he tells you, stroking a thumb across your cheekbone.
"I love you too. So much, Santi."
The two of you spend the afternoon baking Santiago's cake, singing and dancing around the kitchen. You turn a blind eye to him licking the spoon and sticking his fingers in the icing. You're just glad to have him back, annoying you again.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
The Bedroom. Will.
"Can you pass me that screwdriver please, honey?"
You would, but you can't take your eyes off the man currently kneeling on your bedroom floor. His chest is glistening with sweat, warm in the morning sun. The light illuminates the room in balmy hues of gold, shadows dancing across your faces.
You and Will agreed to dedicate today to building all of your flat pack furniture. You've been sleeping on the floor for weeks, and it's finally taken a toll on your back. So, Will showed up bright and early, ready to tackle your bed, dresser, nightstands, desk, and whatever else presented itself. You were barely awake, still in your pyjamas, sleep heavy in your veins. But the sight of Will, toolbox in hand and smile on his face? That's enough to motivate anyone to assemble furniture all day.
"Honey?"
"Shit, sorry. The green one?"
"Please."
He smirks at you like he's reading your dirty thoughts. He probably is, knowing him. If anyone you knew turned out to be telepathic, it'd be Will. You're convinced he was some sort of psychic in a past life.
"You okay over there?"
"Yeah, I'm good. You need a hand?"
"Come hold this up for me while I screw it in."
You shuffle over to sit next to him, leaning over to hold the piece he's gesturing towards. He's trying desperately not to look down your shirt, and you're trying desperately to ignore the way he smells like heaven.
"C'mere," he murmurs under his breath, scooting backwards so you can get closer to the bed frame. He grabs your hips and pulls you so you're sat between his legs, holding onto the wood steadily. He wraps his arms around you from behind and gets to drilling, placing the screws in perfect rows.
Every now and again, he stops to press a kiss into your hair, or onto your cheek. You smile every single time, heat creeping across your chest. He eventually changes his path, trailing the kisses down onto your neck, shoulders, back. You're breathing so heavily you wonder if you're about to pass out.
"I like this colour," he whispers into your ear.
It takes a moment for your mind to register what he said.
"...Hmm?"
"The colour on your walls. I like it."
"Oh," you murmur. "Santi helped me pick it. He was only gonna do the kitchen, but then we were on a roll, so we ended up painting every room in the house."
He chuckles, tightening his arms around you and encouraging you to relax. You lean back into him, resting your head on his firm shoulder.
"This place is really beautiful, you know," he says lowly. "It's so... you."
"Is that a good thing?"
"The best thing. Beautiful house for a beautiful girl."
"You're a smooth talker, Miller."
"I learned from the best."
The two of you sit intertwined for a while, reveling in the comfort the other person brings. After a while, Will speaks.
"Okay, strong girl, you wanna help me put the mattress onto it?"
You flex your biceps, making you both laugh.
"I mean, I could do it single handedly... but sure, I'll help you."
"That's my girl."
You both make light work of the mattress, picking it up and throwing it onto the frame effortlessly. Will helps you put on your sheets and pillows, standing back to admire his handiwork.
"We did a good job."
"You did a good job, Will. I just sat over there and stared at you the whole time."
"Thought I felt eyes on me," he laughs.
You don't know where it comes from, the sudden honesty. It creeps up your throat out of nowhere, clawing to escape.
"I'm always looking at you."
Will turns to look at you, confusion written across his face.
"No matter where we are, or what we're doing. The most interesting thing in the room is always you."
His features soften, gentle smile tugging at his lips. He strides towards you and cradles your face in his big hands.
"I love you," he tells you so sincerely it makes you want to cry.
"I love you, William Miller. My love for you is just so... overwhelming. Some days I just want to scream it from the rooftops. I don't know what else to do with it."
"Give it to me," he says without missing a beat.
"What?"
"All the love. Don't throw it into the abyss. Give it to me. I want it."
You grin at him, a bright, blinding thing. He reciprocates, before leaning down and smashing his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers into his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. Your knees give out from the sheer love he's kissing you with, both of you tumbling to the floor.
You pull his shirt over his head, exposing his gorgeous, sun soaked skin. He's so broad it makes you clench your thighs together. He tugs your shirt off and throws it across the room, paying no mind to where it lands. The two of you don't separate your lips for more than a second.
He's rutting his hips into yours, the friction making you dizzy. You try and push his jeans down, fingers fumbling with the button. He takes pity on you and shoves them down himself, adding them to the pile of clothes scattered across the room.
Will wastes no time, throwing his boxers behind him and pulling your underwear down your legs. He pushes into you with effortless ease, both of you ready and eager. You unanimously groan in relief, panting rapidly. You claw at his shoulders, leaning up to connect your lips.
"I love you," he whispers against your mouth, hips gliding into yours.
"I love you," you gasp, resting your forehead against his. "I love you I love you I love you."
Will slides a hand down your body to rub quick circles between your legs, dipping his tongue into your mouth as he does it. He's swallowing your moans, licking the whines from your lips. He can't get over how sweet they taste.
"Come for me, honey. Give it to me, good girl. That's it. Atta girl."
You back arches off the floor, nails scratching down his back. Your vision goes white, stars clouding your view. Will groans, deep and low, spilling into you. You both ride out your highs while Will murmurs sweet sentiments into your ear, against your skin, into your mouth.
He collapses onto you, smothering you with his weight. You don't mind. Every part of your body is touching a part of his, and it still isn't close enough. It'll never be close enough. You could sew yourself into his ribcage, and you'd still want to be closer to his heart.
The only sounds that can be heard are two sets of heaving lungs. When you've snapped back to reality, you thread your fingers through his hair, scratching your nails across his scalp and smiling when he leans into your touch.
"Will?"
"Yeah, honey?"
"Why did you just build me a bed, and then fuck me on the floor?"
He takes a moment to register what you've said, before breaking out into contagious laughter. He's vibrating against you, both of you high on each others company.
"I didn't even think," he wheezes. "Fuck, we're idiots."
"You can say that again," you chuckle. "Wouldn't have it any other way."
Will rolls off and lies next to you, linking his fingers with yours.
"You ready to keep building?"
As much as you'd happily stay where you are forever, it would be nice to have actual furniture in your bedroom.
"Let's do it," you say as you sit up.
You scramble around for your clothes, both of you beaming at each other as you get dressed. You walk over and wrap your arms around his neck, looking up at him.
"I can't wait for you to move in."
He grins at you, pecking your lips.
"I can't wait either. Two more months and my lease is up. Then you're stuck with me forever, honey."
"I wouldn't say stuck. More like the luckiest girl in the world."
"Can I get that in writing?"
"Shut up," you laugh, grabbing the toolbox. "Let's build our furniture, shall we?"
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
"You've made this place really beautiful, you guys."
"Beautiful house for a beautiful girl," Will grins at you across the table.
"Ugh, I hate when they do that," Benny complains.
"Do what?"
"Look at each other like that. It's like they're communicating through their minds, or something."
"We're silently talking about you, dipshit," Will teases, jabbing his brother in the side.
"Before the Millers kill each other, we bought you a present, hermosa. Think of it as a one year housewarming gift."
Frankie hands you a large rectangular parcel, wrapped carefully. You rip open the paper, discovering a large, ornate picture frame. In it, is your favourite picture in the world.
You and Will's first dance.
Frankie had taken the picture, unbeknownst to the two of you. You're both swaying to the music, arms wrapped around your husband's neck, completely lost in each other. Around you, the lights twinkle as your closest friends and family look on in awe.
"Frankie," you breathe. "Thank you. All of you. I love it so much."
"We thought you could hang it above your fireplace," Santiago offers. "In that big empty space."
"It's perfect," Will agrees.
"It's like the final piece of the puzzle," you whisper. "Now our home feels complete."
You trace your fingers over the frame, overwhelmed with adoration for the four boys staring back at you.
"I love you all," you tell them, glancing around the table. "So much."
"Love you, hermosa."
"Love you too, cariño."
"Love ya, baby!"
"I love you, honey."
The chorus makes you beam so bright, you're convinced your smile can be seen from space.
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@kmc1989 @modernperplexity @sia2raw @pimosworld
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myrunawaysweets · 8 months
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Imagine a life in Louisiana New Orleans, 1920.
Your a nice little lady, dragged to a nightclub by your friend. You didn't want to go initially due to the recent murders, but mimzy just had to go for her "reputation "
The loud music played as mimzy was surrounded by young men, most likely trying to get in her pants, er skirt. Mimzy always loved that kind of attention. You on the other hand, did not.
But of course, being near mimzy meant her little fan club of boys would sometimes drift to you aswell.
"Whats a fine doll like you doin here with a tramp like mim?" A young man spoke up, his cheeks flushed to show how many drinks he had so far.
"Shouldn't you be with the rest of your troop? You know, cheering for mimzy instead of belittling her?" You inquired, not even sparing the man a glance as you swished your whiskey in the glass it was in.
"You're right..." The boy spoke "but would you believe me if I said i fell in love with you from the moment i saw you?"
You knew it... these boys playing grown ups used that same line everytime they were around you.
You rolled your eyes to his response "nice try little boy but I dont play those games, so how bout you run along and try that on the next poor broad you see?" You waved your hand to shoo him away. "Maybe you'll have better luck next time-"
A tight grip was held on your wrist making you look up from your drink.
"So your just going to brush me off like that huh?" The drunkard looked into your eyes, previously clouded with lust was now darkened with anger "do you even know who I am, little lady?"
The man's grip tightened, making you wince.
You opened your mouth to tell him to let go but before you can even get the words out of your mouth, a gentle hand was placed on your waist and another vice grip on the man's wrist.
"My, is that any way to treat a lady, young man?" A cheery voice spoke up "every gentleman knows not to raise his hand to harm a lady, especially a lady they are courting"
The drunk young man let go of your wrist. Looking up at the brunette who has yet to face you.
"I think its time for you to go little boy" the brunette pushed the boy to the ground, watching him run away until he was out of sight.
The brunette turned towards you, revealing a handsome man around your age, a tan complexion accompanied with matching dark eyes and a shiny smile "are you alright my dear?" His voice was ever so cheery, just like his smile.
"Thanks..." you replied, rubbing your wrist.
"The names alastor, pleasure to meet you sweetheart! Quite a pleasure!" He held his hand out in which you shook.
"(Y/n), the pleasure is all mine" you were skeptical of him.
"What brings you here by yourself?" Alastor spoke, his hands now behind his back.
"I'm with a friend, mights heard of her, her names mimzy" you pointed over to your short friend who was giggling away, throwing back glass after glass of whiskey, bought by her little play things.
"Your a friend of mimzy? What a coincidence!" Alastor laughed "she invited me out here but I couldn't find her, shall we go greet her together?" The brunette held his arm out in an attempt to escort you to the little flapper.
You hesitantly took his arm and followed him towards your little pal.
"Mimzy!" Alastor walked towards the blonde.
Mimzy looked up from her crowd and smiled. "alastor! I was wondering where you've been!"
"I was searching for you when I came across one of your friends who had some trouble!" The man gestured towards you "you never told me you had such a pretty gem!"
"Yeah, she's a real looker ain't she?" She winked at you "though I'd love to talk some more, I was just entertaining some of these folks" she gestures towards the crowd of boys.
"Don't let me keep you mimzy" Alastor waved in dismissal and walked back to you "my it is crowded in here"
You nodded "This kind of thing isn't really my style" you waved at the crowded place.
"Me neither, mimzy always insists that I come" alastors smile stays bit his eyes show his distaste for this place before lighting back up "say, I know this nice place down the street, what say we ditch this place and head for a meal?"
Following a man you just met into the night? Couldn't be more of a death wish... but he didn't seem all that bad, plus he and mimzy seemed to be on good terms so whats the worst that could happen?
"Yes please" you sighed, smiling.
"Aha! That's better my darling! I haven't seen you give a proper smile all evening! It sits you!" He bellowed, holding his arm out to escort you once again.
Once you left the building, it didn't take long for you two to fall into conversation.
It turned out that alastor ran a radio channel, broadcasting about this and that, more so about those pesky murders as of late.
Alastor had learned that you don't usually go to these things due to the way men look at you with a lustrous gaze, so openly at that. Instead of following mimzy on these nightly activities, you would stay home and tend to your little restaurant.
"I know it's not really suitable for a lady to be owning a business, but if im going to end up cooking for a man, might as well get paid to do so, am I right?"
Alastor couldn't agree more, letting you in on some secrets his mother had told him about cooking.
"Your not so bad al" you laughed after he had told you a particular dad joke "not bad at all"
Now, alastor was never one to indulge in romance, but the way you smiled, the way you set your dreams to be so big... he couldn't describe the feeling it left... but it was addicting, more addicting than the screams he would entice almost every night from his victims. Yes he originally planned to kill you, but after actually getting to know you, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
"Thanks..." his voice was quiet "your not bad at all either"
The night went off without a hitch, you even let him walk you to your house which just so happened to be connected to your restaurant.
"Do drop by if you get a chance, I'll try out that jambalaya recipe for you" you smiled, leaning on the open door.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world, darling!" He bowed before walking down the empty dark street.
The next time mimzy invited you out, you didn't hesitate to accept. You hadn't heard from alastor since the delightful night you two had.
Mimzy gave you the address and promptly hung up the phone.
You didn't want to be late, so you ended up being early, too early. The sun was only just setting, casting a golden hue onto the city.
You had hoped the doors would be opened but you're luck ran short on that part.
It was a chilly evening. That much was clear as a breeze brushed by, making you shiver.
It wasn't long until mimzy came by and the nightly routine began.
Boys flocked to mimzy, buying her drinks, and a few stragglers found their way to you.
The boy from the previous night came back, looking up and down, lust evident in his eyes once again.
"I'm guessing you came back in regret?" His nice guy act was no doubt gone, revealing his true colors.
You scoffed and continued to listen to the music. Frank Sinatra had such a heavenly voice...
Your thoughts were interrupted by the man yanking your hair "listen here, you harlot, no one ignores me... so here's what we're going to do" you felt something sharp and cold press against the opening of your dress on your back "we're going to walk out of here, got going to be a nice birdie and not make a peep, understood?" His breath fanned into your ear, reaking of alcohol.
Fear ran cold in your veins as you couldn't do anything but gently nod.
You trembled, making the man's eerie smile widen as you felt something poke at your back.
As soon as you got out, the empty street revealed that no one could help you now as he led you to the alley beside the building.
Tears pricked your eyes as he shoved you into the brick wall as he squished his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your perfume, the perfume you wore for alastor.
"Please stop" you managed to sob out.
It echoed out of the alley, and right onto the ears of the man you'd hoped to see.
He was standing outside of the club, debating whether or not he should enter. Would you be waiting for him? Has he been on your mind constantly, just like you have for him? Has he plagued every crevice of your brain just like you have in his? Or did you think little of the evening between you two, and gone back to your life...
His thoughts were interrupted by your sob.
His blood ran hot in his veins... you were here, but instead of having fun, you were in an alley in god knows what condition...
He walked towards the alley, everything seemed to be in slow motion...
There, before his own eyes, you were crying, the sleeve of your dress pulled down as the man behind you shamelessly grinded into you as he pulled your hair, biting into the soft skin on your shoulder.
"I thought I told you to behave..." alastors voice was heard from the opening of the alley "especially with a lady"
The man looked up from you with a glare "stay out of this, you square" he pulled out the knife and pointed it towards alastor making your eyes widen in fear of him being hurt to save you "unless you want me to cut you up"
The sight of you being worried for him made alastors head spin with glee, but this was no time for that.
"Darling Belle, close your eyes for a moment, will you?" Alastors smile was strained yet firm as a murderous aura clouded the alley way.
You did as told, wanting this night to be over with.
Screams were heard. Alastors hands moved quickly as he used his brute strength and adrenaline to break the man's knees backwards and draped his coat over you.
bones cracking and blood spilling filled the alley way along with the sound of alastors giggling.
Before you knew it, it was over and the man had passed it from blood loss and pain.
Alastor placed his hands on your shoulders as you trembled, bruises and bite marks all evident on your body as he guided you out of the alleyway.
"Sorry you had to experience that, darling" alastor apologized like you had seen him shirtless instead of him killing a man.
It took you a while, but you eventually spoke.
"Thank you... alastor" your head leaned against his chest as you felt tears start to form once again.
Alastor was never one for physical touch, but then again, he wasn't one for regular emotions, relationships, or even human connections, yet you bypassed all of his limits.
He sighed, and held you close.
"Its quite alright darling... " this was all new to him, so it didn't conquer to him that it would be the wrong time and mood for his next words "I could never let anything happen to you... i love you..."
You froze, slowly looking up at the man who held you so tenderly in his arms in the middle of the empty street... those words were spoken many times to you... your ex fiance before h ran away with his mistress, your family before he disowned you leaving you to fend for yourself in the harsh city, and your guy friend who supported you after the disownment who had confessed to you as you stayed at his apartment, running the friendship and trust... how could you ever trust anyone who spoke those words?
Alastors hold around you was gentle... it was comforting... you had only known him a few days, a week at most, having only met twice... yet he said he loved you?
"You love me?" You inquired... no longer liking the feeling of his arms around you as they felt fake
"I love you... " alastor smiled, though it seemed nervous as your gaze made him feel like he had something stupid...
Inspired by the song "something stupid" by Frank Sinatra.
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it-was-summer · 1 month
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Video Killed the Radio Star - Tape #4 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Y'all this chapter took so long to write. This is NOT proofread once again me and Grammarly were beefing because she doesn't understand fanfiction. Nonetheless, it is 12 am MST and here it is. Now for an overall warning, this chapter talks about so much that I was to let everyone know that I meant for this to be a dark series. That was my goal. I'm so sorry if some of these topics seem like they're too heavy for you. If you feel overwhelmed, disgusted, or just find it hard to read please remember that it is okay and you are loved. This chapter mentions miscarriages, eating disorders, gunshot wounds, suicide, etc. I love you all and stay healthy. I will try to post my 500 followers post soon! Not proofread because eepy. YOU'LL read my chapter unedited and you'll like it! (hopefully). Thanks for reading. -Love you all, Em.
Video Killed the Radio Star Remake Masterlist
Link to the Ao3: Video Killed the Radio Star
Previous Chapter: Tape #3 > Next Chapter: Coming Soon...
WARNING: miscarriage, eating disorder, catholic guilt, bisexuality mention??, period underwear, stalking, marital problem, divorce, sexual harassment, guns, knives, gunshot wound, This bitch shoots someone, suicide, mention of a skull, blood so much blood.
Tape Contents: We briefly dive into Heather's past. Adeline makes a call that gives the team a reason to visit the suburbs. Heather makes a decision. You see something other than pink for the first time in four days.
Word Count: 6,296
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Seven to Four Years Prior- January 10, 20XX
Heather had to get out of Norfolk. She felt suffocated under her father’s watchful gaze and helicopter ways. He was a hard man to love and hard to be around in general. When he drank, she used to pray that he would forget about her, so she became quiet. She didn’t have many friends here anyway, so she took you out of the equation and knew no one else would know her name. 
So, with a heavy heart, she moved her life away to Richmond. She changed her major to nursing and killed that quiet girl from Norfolk. She fabricated real lies that sometimes she couldn’t separate from reality. She stared at girls silently with longing and played it off as admiration if she was ever caught. Catholic guilt stopped it from growing into anything else. 
She was slow to open up about her feelings and showed people an extroverted sorority girl nursing graduate who liked to go to bars on the weekend and let men’s hands pull at her hips desperately in dark corners. 
Now, at twenty-four, she only thought about one thing: how good her stomach looked in this dress. She had thinned out tremendously since the move. At first, it started due to not having enough money to eat anywhere except the shitty university cafeteria. Then, it warped into something else. During its worst moments, she would log her calories or purge food moments after eating it. She could look into mirrors afterward and feel she was achieving something remarkable. Then, sometimes, she would also look at her face and think, ‘Is that what I look like’? 
But tonight, she wanted to do something different, something fun. Having told her sorority sisters this, they all jumped on board quickly, agreeing to meet at the bar around 10 p.m. that Saturday. They were thirty minutes late. 
Heather was gently fiddling with the hem of her short black dress, her eyes flickering towards the entrance every so often as she waited for them to walk in. This year, she wanted to be happier, less suffering in silence, and a little more smiley. So yes, she wanted to have fun with people she called friends. Despite all her efforts, she was sure they could see right through her sometimes. She swallowed nervously as she nursed a margarita. 
The next time she looked at her phone, she saw texts from her former sisters saying that work had been hectic and that they needed to reschedule for another time. So now, Heather Alexander was right back at square one: alone. She glanced down at her dress and frowned slightly at its tight material. It was the kind of dress that made her uncomfortable but made men comfortable. Something always felt wrong with that. Heather always secretly knew that she felt an attraction to women and men, but she always felt guilty at the thought. 
She sighed as she debated her next move when she saw him. He was the prettiest man she had ever seen. He had soft masculine features that almost looked slightly feminine, a uniform clad against his chest, and a charming boyish smile as their eyes met. Heather whispered a silent prayer that he would like her as he approached her and introduced himself as David Hernandez. How could she not fall for him instantly? Deep brown eyes, pink lips, dark skin, and a low rumble in his voice made her feel like giggling. 
It wasn’t long before the two of them were getting married. They spent a few months together in domestic bliss. He got some time off from work, and she kept her last name, and they were… happy. 
At least they were happy for six months, and then her world shattered around her as David was deployed to England. She cried herself to sleep the night she heard, and David stroked her back softly to calm her. Heather didn’t want him to leave her and see someone better overseas. She was sure that women would throw themselves at David’s feet, begging him to kiss them, touch them, fuck them, like whores in the street of Babylon. She couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else touching him, looking at him the way she looked at him, talking to him the way she did in his ear late at night. She begged him to try and find some way out of it, scared to lose what was rightfully hers, but he couldn’t. He left that week.
At first, it was just six months, but then it stretched out into a year of deployment—a year spent being faithful to a man across the Atlantic. She called him when she had time, wrote letters to him, sent him emails, and constantly contacted him in any way she could. 
When he got home, it was clear that all her efforts had gone to waste. David was distant. He would sulk in corners of their home on his phone. He would lament on and on about how England felt like his home and how he missed it. She couldn’t stand it. This house they bought together was his home, and it always had been. Why was he struggling to see that? 
The more he talked of his deployment, the more Heather became frustrated with him. Then he started to go out more. At first, it was just to speak with some Army friends on base a few spread-out weekends in the month. Then it was every weekend. 
Heather found that the only thing that could keep him home was sex. So they had sex constantly, like animals in heat. Disgusting and rutting against each other any moment they could. However, the second that it was over, he would withdraw again. He would get dressed and say he had to get to the base. 
Then he was coming late, drunk and slurring, as he pulled her to the edge of the bed and woke her up with sensual touches and dirty talk. She took this as a good sign he was coming home to his wife. He was fucking her and no one else. But slowly, he stopped coming home. He would call her late at night to tell her he would stay with a friend for the night. The following day, he would come home smelling sweet. 
Heather felt lost, searching desperately for something to save her marriage. She was devoting all of her love to a man who no longer wanted it, and she could feel him falling out of love with her. 
Her saving grace was the morning that she found out she was pregnant. She called David with tears in her eyes and told him softly over the phone, and she heard him laugh for the first time in months. And just like that, he was back. 
His soft touches, kisses in the grocery store, and dancing with her in the living room were all back. Her devoted and dotting husband had returned home to her. She could feel the dark cloud of the past couple of months dissipate and the sun shining on her. 
That light lasted a good three months. Heather sat up straight as pain coursed through her body, thundering in her abdomen as she shook David awake with tears streaming down her face. Something was wrong with the baby; she knew it. He drove her to the hospital as fast as he could, but it was too late. She had already miscarried.
Heather took a small sabbatical from work and took time to think about her life. She would stare out of their living room window blankly for hours. David was attentive at first, coming home after work and tending to Heather’s broken spirit. But he soon became bored of that routine. 
When Heather returned to the pediatric oncology unit, David was notified that he was being deployed again to Okinawa, Japan. He was packed and ready by the end of that month. She didn’t see him off at the airport, picking up an extra shift at the hospital to distract her from the fact that he was leaving her again. 
David called her two months into his leave to tell her he wasn’t happy. He wanted a divorce. Then he hung up before she could get a word in. That’s when it all started. Her obsession with consuming anything romantic was almost debilitating. She would visit bookstores and attend readings at the public library, sometimes calling off from work to sit at home with her romances. That’s when she saw you again. She thought that you would have stayed in Norfolk. You had once told her that you loved the water. You liked how it could look gloomy and promising on different days, with mist rolling off the surface. 
She tried not to talk to you. She did. She didn’t want to scare you away like she scared David away. No, no, no, she was sure it would all work out this time. So she loved you from a comfortable distance, watching you from her car on the weekends at night, leaving you her gifts on your windshield—a silent courting. 
She couldn’t help herself on Valentine’s Day. She had slipped into Nicole Smith’s room without Adeline recognizing her, and she gave the table with Adeline’s purse on it a gentle knock with her hip. Heather apologized quickly, telling her not to worry. She promptly dropped to the floor to gather the spilled contents from Adeline’s bag, and she slipped a labeled key connected to a keychain that read ‘or die’ into her pocket. Once she had copied the key, she quickly returned the original to its owner. 
She felt electric when she entered your apartment on Valentine's Day in a dark outfit, a hood covering her face, and four dozen rose petals in a container. She breathed in your perfume as she perused through your bathroom. She traced the spine of every book she could touch on your shelves. She gently dove into your dirty hamper and quickly pulled out a pair of dirty underwear, blood on the inside of them as she shamelessly slipped them into her pocket. Then she got to work spreading the petals throughout your apartment. By the end, she stared at her work, panting lightly as she lay across on your rose-covered bed. 
She had to have you. 
Present Day- March 5, 20XX
Derek and Spencer managed to get to the public library an hour before closing. They pulled your coworker, Valerie, aside. She was a pretty brunette, glasses resting on her face delicately as she stared at the two men with a soft look of disappointment. She knew that if they were here, they had yet to find you, and the thought made her feel like breaking down in a fit of tears. She fought the urge to cry as Derek asked her a question, sliding a copy of the Polaroid you had received on your windshield. “Do you happen to remember anyone coming in with a Polaroid camera?” 
Valerie stared at the Polaroid with a soft frown, trying to remember something helpful. Spencer spoke quickly, “Sometime around January fourteenth, maybe?”
Valerie chewed on her bottom lip before the memory washed over her, “Yes! Yes, oh gosh, she was blonde, I think. I remember telling her we didn’t like flash photography in the library. I only saw the back of her head, but I remember the back of her head and the flash of a camera.” 
Spencer tilted his head slightly and nodded at Valerie’s words, processing the information silently.“Are you sure it was a woman?” Spencer asked softly before Valarie enthusiastically nodded. 
“Yes, it was definitely a woman who took the picture.” She confirmed in a soft voice before she looked down at the Polaroid with a gentle tenderness in her eyes. “She baked me cookies last week, you know?” She looked up at the two men with a sad smile and tears in her eyes. “My cat is sick, and she made me cookies to make me feel better.” She laughed sadly as the tears started to fall. 
Derek placed a soft hand over Valerie’s and gave her a tender look, “We’re looking for her,” The words caused a shaky sigh to escape Valarie’s lips as she pulled her hand away quickly and stood up. 
Her cheeks were red as she cried out a soft “Excuse me.” before she turned on her heel and hurriedly left the room. 
Spencer picked up the picture and stared at you in the photo. The way your hair shined in the fluorescent light, your eyes and smile trained directly on the person you were talking to. You were personable, and the thought made his stomach turn. He looked over at Derek as Spencer handed the photo back to him. 
The two men walked out of the library silently, and Derek let out a soft sigh as he watched the sun starting to settle against the horizon. Spencer walked beside him with his hand stuffed in his pockets, and his head hung a little low in thought. 
Derek broke the silence first, “We should get back to the station to see if JJ and Rossi have anything,” 
And then they rode back in contemplative silence after that. 
March 6, 20XX
You weren’t sure if it was day or night anymore. All you knew was that you were starting to feel uneven. Every creak of wood, settling of pipes, and rumble of the house had your back straightening against the bed. You were sure that Heather would fly in at any moment and touch you. 
A million options weighed heavy in your mind at the scenario; you could fight back again, but that would get you sliced again or worse. You could go with it, zone out as much as possible, let her have her way with you. That option made your head spin with nausea. You had to find a way to get out. 
You licked at the gash on your lip, gently exploring the cut with your tongue until you could feel the warmth of blood again. You pushed your tongue back into your mouth and looked over at your day-old apple on the nightstand, half-eaten and brown. You tenderly took a small bite that wouldn’t require you to move your lips too much. 
You didn’t have much of the day-old meal left; a half-full water and this apple was all you had. You chewed softly, fighting off the nausea that threatened to creep in due to the morphine. 
You tried to remember anything that could be helpful to you. It was hard to think of high doses of morphine. You had played with the knob often; when you were ready to sleep, it would go up, and when you were up, it would turn down. But lately, you just wanted it to be turned up. 
You tried to think of when Heather came into the pink room. She always stuffed her keys into her pockets. A plan was in the making: Get her out of her clothes, and you could get the keys. 
You nodded a little despite your discomfort with the idea of her touching you again. You just had to seduce her a little, which should be easy considering that she was ‘in love’ with you. The only problem with that plan was that you had a mangled ankle and a body running on morphine; she didn’t. Heather’s temper was quick when you talked back, and rage followed if you did something against her liking. 
Maybe begging would work. No, you tried that already. Why would begging work? Perhaps you could hurt yourself just enough to force her to take you to the hospital. But that didn’t work either; she was a nurse. She wouldn’t incriminate herself like that, would she? Maybe total submission would be the key. 
Convince her that you love her back and somehow ask to be let out with her supervision, but that could take forever. 
You started to cry softly as you set down the core of the apple and laid down, wishing to pull your legs to your chest, but the pain of one ankle and the chain around the other made that physically impossible. 
You cried until you felt your eyelids become heavy, tears still slipping out of your eyes as you fell into a morphine-induced sleep. 
March 6, 20XX
JJ paced back and forth in front of the bulletin board, occasionally flicking her eyes over to the photos pinned to it as she tried to chase what was likely to be a loose end. The number that had called yours and left a message full of sobs had been a burner. 
Spencer had tried to tell her to eat something this morning, but as the clock’s hands crept towards nine a.m., she still didn’t feel hungry enough to try. She sighed out another frustrated huff as Emily appeared in front of her. “If you sigh like that one more time, I think I might have to force a croissant down your throat.” 
JJ gave her another dramatic sigh before she put her hands on her hips: “I’m sorry, I just feel like we have no leads. We know it's a woman, but Adeline isn’t likely to be the unsub, and all her coworkers have alibis. It just feels like we are running around with our heads cut off.” 
Emily smiled and gave her a gentle nod of understanding, “I get it, but you pacing around like this isn’t helping anyone. Let’s get you a drink, coffee, or maybe something to eat.” 
“People who eat breakfast consistently are twenty-five percent likely to be more productive at work,” Spencer spoke up from a desk not too far from the two women. 
Emily pointed over at Spencer, “See? You’re making Spencer freak out.” 
“I’m not freaked out,” Spencer frowned at the comment before looking back at a file on the desk. 
JJ’s smile was slow as she let her hands fall to her side and let out a soft, “Fine.” She agreed as Emily walked over to the precinct's breakroom, JJ following her. 
Derek was clicking a pen obnoxiously in an off-beat rhythm. He was about to say something when his phone started to ring on his desk. He didn’t recognize the number, but he answered it anyway. “Hello?” 
“Hi, uhm, is this Special Agent Morgan?” Adeline’s voice was shaky through the phone. 
Derek relaxed slightly as he set down his pen. “Yeah, Adeline. Did something happen?” He couldn’t think of another reason as to why she would call the number he had left with her if nothing happened. He was too focused on the case to think of any other reason anyway. 
“Yeah, maybe? I was talking to one of the nurses about something today, and I recognized one of them. I don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner, but it was an old friend from college. She was more Y/N’s friend than mine, but I talked to her a little.” Adeline’s voice dropped to a whisper as she continued, “I mentioned that she was missing, and Heather had a weird reaction. She smiled for a second. I swear, she said she was sad to hear that, but she looked… well, for a second, it just seemed like maybe she was happy.” 
Derek picked the pen back up again, ready to write down a name. It wasn’t much, but they could visit her. “What was her name again?” 
“Gosh, it was Heather something… Heather, Heather, Heather,” She bit her lip as she tried to think back. “Alexander! Heather Alexander.” 
Derek wrote it down and muttered quickly, “We'll look into it, thanks.” As a goodbye, he let Adeline quickly thank him over the phone before he hung up and called Penelope. 
Penelope, quick as always, picked up on the first ring. “Center of divine intellect,” was her greeting. 
“Good morning to you, too, baby girl. Listen, could you get Heather Alexander's address? Adeline Smith called saying that she had a strange reaction to hearing about our girl going missing.” 
“Easy,” was her answer before Derek could hear the sounds of keys being tapped against and a soft humming sound emitting from Penelope’s lips as she pulled up the address: “4432 Lake Margaret Pl., Chesterfield, Virginia.” 
“You are an angel, Garcia.” 
“I always aim to please,” 
“And you never fail, baby girl.” 
JJ had begged Derek with her eyes to let her go with Spencer. It was just an interview, not even an interrogation, just to see if the connection between you and Heather went deeper than old college friends. So why shouldn’t she go? 
Derek wasn’t one to put up a big fight, so he let her with Spencer. It was only thirty minutes away anyway, so if they needed the team it wouldn’t take too long for them to show up, right? He stayed behind on the phone with Garcia, who was doing her best to see if Heather had any criminal history on her record. 
As the car rolled around the cul de sac, Spencer’s eyes struggled to look away from the plethora of plants in the fenced-in front yard. Pink anemones were scattered amongst daffodils, and what looked like daisies were blooming side by side. JJ rolled the car to a stop, parking it against the curb. 
“Pretty yard,” She muttered as she took the keys out of the ignition. Spencer nodded a little; he had to admit that Spring came in a close second to Fall as the superior season in his mind. The flowers growing after frozen earth had kept them dormant, the welcomed feeling of the sun getting slightly warmer. It was still somewhat chilly at ten in the morning as he stepped out of the car with JJ, but he had to admit, it was shaping up to be a beautiful day weather-wise. 
His head tilted back a little as he stole a glance at the blue sky above them and smiled before stuffing his hands into his pockets and tilting his head toward the house. JJ smiled and walked beside him, happy to be out of the precinct and in the early morning air.
Heather was washing the paring knife she had used on you in her kitchen sink, facing a large bay window in her living room. She swiped at the hardened blood and frowned a little at the memory. Why was she so upset with you? She could hardly remember herself when she got angry like that. 
It was almost fitting, her flying off the handle over something so simple as you not being ready for her love. Was she no better than a man? Had she gotten so accustomed to men's vile and sharp ways that she had somehow forgotten how to be gentle? 
She felt her hands shake as a voice came into her head, whispering her worst fear: She was worse than her father. 
She let tears blur her vision at the thought as she rubbed the knife harder with a sponge, shaking her head quickly. No, no, no, no. She was not like that man. She was not cold like that man. She was lovable. She felt love. She felt overwhelming love for you. She had felt overwhelming love for David. 
Her downward spiral was cut short as she lifted her weeping head and saw a black SUV parked in front of her yard. She quickly wiped away a stray tear with the back of her hand and sniffled lightly as she gently slid the knife into the dishwasher, watching two people get out of the van. 
Heather’s eyes were glued to the blonde at first, pretty and fair in the morning sun before her eyes flickered to the man beside her. She recognized him immediately. She was sure it was the same man she almost ran into at the hospital yesterday. 
She dried her hands as she walked around the kitchen island. As they got closer, her head arched to see how close they were. Panic was running through her veins. Her gun was in her room upstairs, loaded. She just had to get upstairs; her feet were quick to try and run upstairs and stash it somewhere close before they could ring the doorbell. Just as the idea seemed plausible enough, the bell rang through the house. 
Heather let out a silent scream of panic as she smoothed out her shirt, fixed her hair, and caught a quick glance of her pretty face in the mirror near the front door before she swung it open with a pleasantly fake smile on her face. Her eyes quickly scanned both of their faces as she smiled. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, hi. My name is Jennifer Jareau. This is Spencer Reid. We’re with the FBI, and we were just wondering if we could ask you some questions.” JJ spoke clearly as she flashed her badge at Heather, a slight smile on her lips as she looked into Heather’s eyes. Spencer recognized her, finding it strange that he had almost run directly into the beautiful woman at the hospital just the day before. 
Heather laughed softly and nodded as she stepped aside, opening the door wider to let the two agents inside. “Of course,” Her hands were shaking, but she gripped the edge of the door tightly, half tempted to slam it directly in their faces and go upstairs to shoot Catherine and herself to freedom.  
They weren’t on to her yet; she was sure of that– especially given their lack of people– just two against one. She was quick to shut the door behind them before leading the two of them into her living room. “Can I get you two any water? I have some juice.” 
The two agents shook their heads in a polite ‘no, thank you’ way as they sat on the sofa across from Heather. Heather sat on a chair with a soft “Okay” as she eyed them carefully. “Am I in some kind of trouble here?” 
“No, We just wanted to ask you a few questions regarding an old college friend of yours, Y/N L/N.” 
“Well,” She smoothed out her long skirt slowly, remembering to breathe normally, “What about her?” 
“Had you been in contact with her at all? Did she mention anything about someone following her?” 
Heather let out a gentle laugh as she shook her head, “I haven’t really had the time to reach out to old friends lately,” 
Spencer’s interest peaked as he joined the conversation, “How come?” 
Heather’s gaze became a little pointed at the question. Of course, the man has to ask her, “I lost a baby recently, and my husband was deployed soon after, so forgive me for not becoming pen pals with someone I knew at eighteen.” The words were direct and vicious, but she couldn’t help herself. She blew out a soft sigh before she let out a gentle and timid, “I’m sorry,” 
Spencer licked his lips nervously as he leaned back against the sofa slightly, trying to resist the urge to disappear into it. Self-isolation wasn’t uncommon for women who had recently suffered from a miscarriage. That feeling more than likely increased as her support system was ripped away from her. 
JJ gently touched Spencer’s knee before she cut the tension. “I’m sorry to hear that, Mrs. Alexander. We’re just trying to piece some information together.” 
Heather ran a hand through her hair before she gave JJ a tight-lipped smile. “I understand that; I’m sorry. Would it be alright if I ran upstairs for some medicine? I feel a headache coming on.” She spoke fast with a tense voice, trying her hardest to pass it off as pain with a rub of her temple. When JJ nodded, she stood up and headed upstairs as calmly as she could manage. 
JJ looked over at Spencer, watching Heather walk away carefully. “She seems angrier with men than anything.” Her voice was slightly amused before Spencer frowned. 
“Doesn’t mean she’s in the clear; stalking is often a form of intense infatuation, but it's also used as a way to control something. She’s struggling with two things that could be our stressors: she’s craving control or dependency. She-” The soft ringing of his phone cut off his whispered rant. He answered it, happy that at least it was just Garcia calling, hoping for a better lead than his ongoing hunch. 
He stood and looked at JJ, who was mouthing for him to go outside, “Hey,” He answered as he slipped out of the front door. 
“Hey, nothing is coming up anywhere on Heather’s record for criminal activity—sorority sister, wife, nurse, clean as a whistle. However, considering we don’t have much right now, I decided to see if she had any warnings at work.” 
“Right,” Spencer looked over his shoulder at the front door as he walked away to stand in front of the garage. 
“Well, last month, she got a write-up for stealing some morphine; her supervisor forced her to go see a therapist after Heather said that she was using it for some leftover pain she was experiencing after her miscarriage. But Heather never showed,” 
Spencer was walking a little further down the driveway as he listened to Garcia talk on the phone, counting the number of windows in the house. His eyes narrowed slightly to try and block out the sun before he looked away. He licked his bottom lip gently before acting on his little hunch, “Could you check her credit report? See if there are any purchases that you can find that seem odd around March third?” 
“Could I check her credit report,” Garcia repeated with a laugh, “Hold on, boy genius.” 
Spencer could see the top of JJ’s head from the bay window, and he turned away slightly, finding ease in the fact that she was still there. Something felt off, and he couldn’t put his finger on it. “She went to the store, but nothing crazy. Bought,” He could hear typing, “Bleach and rubbing alcohol.” 
Spencer chewed on the inside of his cheek as he asked, “When was her husband deployed again? Did she buy anything from a florist around Valentine’s Day?” 
“Husband was deployed December first and,” she hummed gently before she sighed, “Bought some flowers on Valentine’s day, rose petals.” 
Spencer felt that feeling when something connected in his brain, a rush of adrenaline as he felt his hunch slowly turn into a plausible accusation. The roses were just that, roses. But the bleach and rubbing alcohol? That’s a recipe for chloroform right there. And finally, Heather’s husband was deployed at the beginning of December, stressor number two. It made him feel slightly hopeful about walking back into the house. “Thanks, Garcia.” He said as his feet reached the end of the driveway. He hung up the phone, walking back towards the house at a fast pace when the familiar and startling 'crack' of a gun reached his ears. 
His hands drew his gun out of the holster, running back towards the house. He pushed the front door open with his foot as he heard the thumping of footsteps running on the stairs. He rounded the corner to the living room before lowering his gun as he saw JJ bleeding from a bullet wound in her thigh. 
“JJ!” His voice panicked as he reached her groaning side, kneeling low to the ground next to her. “What happened?” 
JJ shook her head quickly, “I’m calling for backup. She ran upstairs. She didn’t even try to,” her eyes squeezed shut tightly as a sharp pain rattled through her inner thigh, “Just go!” She urged him as she reached down for the phone in her back pocket, her free hand pressing on her gushing wound to try and slow the bleeding. 
Spencer’s eyes were filled with uncertainty as he let out a soft, “No, I’ll stay here until everyone gets-” 
“Spencer, go!” 
Spencer felt his spine straighten at the second command. He gave her a grim nod as he stood up, readied his gun, and started for the stairs. His footsteps were soft and calculated as he ascended, pink light flooding the floor as he approached the top of the stairs. He could hear gentle begging in a voice too soft and thick to be Heather’s. 
“Please, Heather, please, my love. Don’t, please don’t.” Repetitive cries for mercy made his legs move faster until he approached an opened door. The regular-looking bedroom door gave way to a steel one just behind it before revealing the scene of what looked like a demented love nest. 
Spencer swallowed a lump in his throat as he took in the scene. Gun pointed carefully at Heather as he spoke, “Heather, put down the gun. You love her. You don’t want to hurt her. You know that.” 
Heather jumped a little at the sound, her pistol clicking softly as her sweaty palms tightened their grip. She was quick to turn her body around to face him with the gun aimed directly at him as she spoke. “Don’t pretend like you know me or her. You don’t know our relationship. She wants this just as much as I do.” 
“You know she doesn’t look at her. Look at what you’re doing to her.” 
Heather’s eyes drifted to you, chained to the bed, watching as you hyperventilate softly. Heather felt her bottom lip quiver before she looked back at Spencer. “She’s just scared. You’re making me do this. She knows you’re making me do this.” 
Spencer’s eyes drifted to your crying form on the bed, trying to keep your sobs quiet as you stared at him with wild eyes. He glanced over at the morphine drip next to your bed before his eyes settled back on Heather. His lips parted to say something more, but she cut him off quickly, “Put your gun down, and I won’t do it.” 
Heather’s body language gives her away as she motions for him to put his gun down, her eyes crazed and large, her hands shaking and rigid against her pistol. “I’m not going to-” 
“Put your fucking, gun down, or she dies,” Heather yells so loud that it elicits a soft sob from your lips, your arms coming up to protect your head, ready for the shot to be administered and for your brains to be blown out in front of Spencer in that very moment. 
Spencer holds up both of his hands at that; he swears he can hear the soft sounds of sirens in the distance as he lowers his gun to the floor slowly, his foot gently kicking the gun away with a soft ‘clack.’
“Now you,” his calm voice says as he raises his hands, inching closer. Tears stream down Heather’s face now as she shakes her head gently. 
“I have to,” Is her tear-soaked reply as she keeps the barrel pointed at Spencer’s head, her fingers twitching lightly as they move for the trigger. Your shaking voice cuts through the scene, and Spencer is pretty sure it’s the only thing that is stopping him from diving for his gun a few feet from him. 
“Heather, baby,” Your voice betrays you as you speak the pet name, coming off a little too forced, but you continue anyway. “He can help. You don’t have to hurt anyone else. We can be happy, and we can get away. He can help, right?” Your arms relax around your head slowly as you look over at Spencer, who nods silently. 
“I can, but you have got to put your gun down.” 
Heather chokes out a strangled sob as she looks over at you, watching as you smile at her. You know it’s forced, but Heather can only view it as the prettiest thing she’s ever seen—a great parting gift. 
She feels spit thick on her tongue as she evaluates her options: kill Spencer and go to jail. Kill you, and she might not have enough time to kill herself. Killing herself seems like the best plan out of the three, so she holds her gun steady at Spencer as she looks at your now bleeding smile. 
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Her voice is soft, almost so human that you feel your heart clench in pity before that clenching feeling turns into pure anxiety as you see the movement of her arm. Spencer’s feet aren't quick enough for him to tackle her to the ground as Heather raises the gun to her temple and pulls the trigger. 
Her body drops to the edge of the bed, sliding down it as you feel blood coat your legs. Your ears are ringing, and your mouth is wide open as you scream. At least you think you’re screaming. You can’t hear much but a pathetic muffle of the sound as the ringing in your ears increases.
Your hands are quick to try and wipe off chunks of what looks to be part of a skull off of your exposed stomach, and you can’t seem to stop staring at Heather’s limp body at the edge of the bed. The image of her mangled head oozing blood has you gagging softly, feeling yourself getting ready to be sick before you feel two hands cup your face. 
You’re screaming or sobbing; you can’t tell anymore as Spencer Reid’s face blocks the view. He keeps your face steady in his hands as you try to read his lips, your breathing heavy as he strokes your hair gently. His voice creeps in through the ringing until you eventually hear the soft repetition of, “I got you, look at me. Just keep looking at me; you’re safe.”
You feel your breathing slow, your arms reaching up to grab him before your eyes roll back as your body slumps against Spencer’s, and everything is engulfed in black.
Tag List: @dollykisses4reid @babyspiderling @cocobean16 @kodzukenie333 @mmmunson
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gremlinmodetweeker · 19 days
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Bellowing Bull Calling Home
Please forgive me for not posting any stories in a hot minute! I've just been super busy and tired. I had a whole issue with my meds (thankfully it's been sorted out) and since I'm so angry I wrote something about König getting mad. I really like the idea of being yelled at by this man, so once I get to 500 followers, I might post some snippets of smut.
Also, I'm thinking about opening a Kofi soon. I don't make much money, but it would be a good place to post some more... Interesting drawings, so to speak. I could also take some comissions if anyone is interested. However, I'm not sure yet. I'm just floating the idea.
Anyways, enough about me! Time to read König getting mad because that's super hot.
TWs: König yelling and insulting recruits, slight allusions to degradation kink, allusions to a horrible government secret contained in a suitcase (you never learn what it is)
Wordcount: 4.1K
Art from This Post
Story below the cut
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Bellowing Bull Calling Home
 Normally, visiting König at work was a laughable concept. A PMC base was no place for a simple civilian such as yourself, yet here you were with König’s (supposedly) very important briefcase that he’d been directed to hold close to his chest for the foreseeable future. You’d begged König to let you read them, but he had simply laughed you off and changed the locks on the briefcase again. He then politely hid it out of view to keep you from trying to break into it. You had no intentions of doing so, but apparently whatever was in there was important enough for König to go to such lengths to protect it.
Unfortunately, by hiding the suitcase to keep it out of sight and out of mind from your curious fingers, König had forgotten about it entirely when he left that morning. You wouldn’t have known were the suitcase not sat proud and regal on your humble dining room table.
Sipping your drink and leaning against the counter, you realized you had the perfect opportunity to try and hack the damned thing open. Whatever was in there had König muttering darkly under his breath and leaning away from your touch. Those accursed documents were driving a wedge into your relationship the size and depth of a canyon. Of course, you knew the case was tamper-proof. You knew that if you so much as cracked it open as much as a millimeter, it would most likely set off some sort of alarm if a proper code wasn’t punched in the top. You had the strange feeling, based on the hefty weight in your hands, that the case wouldn’t even so much as dent if you took a simple butterknife to it.
You swung it back and forth as you left the home, the weight of your relationship hanging with the suitcase in your hand. Making your way to the main gates of the base.
A soldier checked your ID before waving you through, getting another soldier to help make your way to your husband.
“So, I don’t know if he’ll be in his office right now, but we can swing by there first,” Horangi chirped as he followed behind you to a long, grey building that sat close to the entrance.
You passed through a series of doors under the judgemental stares of low-ranking officers as Horangi brought you down the linoleum floors to come to a plain wood door, its only decor being a brown and white plaque reading ‘LEICHENBERG’ in big block letters. Horangi flicked the back of his knuckles against the doors twice before rolling back onto the balls of his heels. He looked at the door expectantly, then to you, then knocked again.
“Sometimes I knock and he thinks he’s going crazy,” Horangi explained before turning back to the door, “what he doesn't know is that sometimes I’m walking by and I’ll knock on the door and leave before he can answer it. I don’t think he’s caught on yet.”
You shook your head tiredly. That would at least explain some of König’s strange tendencies as of late, at least. Friends like Horangi tended to shorten lifespans, so if König dropped dead on his next mission, at least you knew who to blame now.
Horangi pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the door to step through into the minimalist office. You balked at his gall, but the way the soldier swaggered through the doorway had you thinking that Horangi was far too comfortable with pushing his way into your husband’s office.
You barely got a chance to see your wedding picture on König's desk before Horangi cleared his throat.
“Whelp, looks like he’s not here,” Horangi sighed as he turned to face you, “guess I can just hand that over to him myself, if you’d like.”
You sighed, “I was really hoping to hand this over to him personally…”
“Why?” Horangi snorted, “so you can go fuck in a closet or something?”
“No!” you gasped, “I just… I wanted to see him. I never get to see him at work so, you know... I thought this might be a good chance to see what he's like at work.”
“Well who am I to deny such a fine and noble venture?” you could hear Horangi’s shit-eating grin through his mask, “if we’re gonna track down König, we gotta use plan B.”
“Plan B?” you asked warily.
“Plan B!” Horangi cheered before sauntering over and slinging an arm over your shoulder, “looks like we’re going on a goose chase today.”
“Please not a wild one.”
“It’s gonna be a wild one.”
You groaned as Horangi’s laughter echoed off the empty walls of König’s office. It figured that the one day you had to go to König’s work he’d be squirreled away into the farthest corner of the base. He had a habit of being in the wrong spot at the wrong time, which made you all the more anxious every time he was sent on deployment. It also had a tendency to haunt you in your daily life when he returned home to your awaiting arms.
Horangi trotted down the halls, conveniently pushing you past anything he considered a bit too explicit for civilian eyes and ensuring you were in front of him to prevent you from skiving off to some derelict corner of the base.
“König usually likes to go to the gym when he’s frustrated about something,” Horangi explained as he brought you from the main building to a separate section of the base. Once inside, Horangi rounded on the help desk like a tiger on a deer.
“So, Matrice,” Horangi drawled as he leaned his chin on the heel of his hand, somehow exuding smugness through his mask and sunglasses, “you wouldn’t happen to know where ol’ Col. Leichenberg is, would you?”
“Uh…” Matrice darted her dark eyes between Horangi and you, then down to the suitcase fearfully.
“König’s my husband,” you offered.
“König has a wife?” Matrice shook her dark curls as she tapped away on her archaic keyboard, “nobody ever tells me anything around here...”
“Well maybe if you actually came to the staff parties, you might get to know us a bit better,” Horangi slyly slid the dig into the conversation with serpentine ease.
“Horangi, last time I attended a KorTac hoedown you threw up in my car,” Matrice grumbled, “I’m never gonna be your DD again.”
“I don’t remember it being that bad,” Horangi snorted, then turned and muttered, “not that I remember that much anyways…”
“And that’s why I’m not your DD anymore,” Matrice scrolled through the page a couple of times before shrugging and turning to you, “sorry ma'am, but you’re outta luck here. Maybe try checking the cafeteria? It’s nearly lunch. Big boy's gotta eat."
“König would be the first out to lunch,” you grumbled after you thanked the woman. Horangi paid no mind to your whinging and simply turned you back around to head back to the main building.
“If it makes you feel better,” Horangi offered as he firmly pushed you across the road, “I think I saw him cut down on red meat the other day.”
“We’ll see how long that lasts,” you rolled your eyes. 
Horangi only laughed as he opened the door for you.
“I’m serious! He needs to watch what he eats!” you insisted as Horangi led you into the belly of the PMC.
“You know, sometimes I think about what your grocery budget is like, and then I think I'd rather go back to South Africa than have to pay your bills for a month,” Horangi chirped as he stopped you from missing a right turn, “watch your step.”
“You know it would be easier if you were the one in front,” you huffed as you swung down the bland corridor.
“I don’t like the thought of you being out of sight,” Horangi explained as he guided you around yet another corner, “König’s said some interesting things about you.”
“You guys talk about me?” you cast a glare over your shoulder at the tall Korean man.
“What else are we gonna talk about?” Horangi shrugged, “living on base isn’t exactly exciting. Dunno if you civvies got the memo, but there’s only so many times you can talk about special secret missions before it just gets boring.”
“Special secret missions?” you perked up.
“Cleaning duty assigned to whatever poor fucker got the shit end of the stick,” Horangi clarified.
You groaned, then complained, “Please tell me he doesn’t say bad things.”
“Not really,” Horangi replied, “but he tells me a little bit. Just the juicy bits.”
“Really?” you scoffed, “like what?”
“Did you actually forget your own birthday this year?”
You flushed, which seemed to be enough proof for Horangi to laugh at your humiliation.
“He told me you nearly had a heart attack when he told you,” Horangi snickered.
“Oh really?” the cafeteria came into view, “well has he told you he eats other people’s lunches as snacks?”
Horangi sighed, “I figured it was him. It’s not hard to guess that one.”
“Has he told you that he ate Stilleto’s cake?”
Horangi paused, “I thought he was a better man.”
“We both did,” you shook your head morosely, “but I guess she stole his evening snack or something?”
“Oh my God he didn’t try to justify it, did he?” Horangi groaned.
“I tried to explain it to him but he wouldn’t have it,” you pushed the door to the cafeteria open.
The massive room was empty save for a table of sergeants playing poker and a couple of officers sharing a coffee. The room was notably absent of any giant men with a propensity for malicious snacking. The warm and inviting smell of the room made you want to grab one of those dishwater coffees they served and kick up your feet, get a taste of the military experience, but the suitcase felt hot in your hands.
“Looks like he’s not here,” Horangi pointed out the obvious, “so maybe he’s outside training one of his teams? I hope not…”
“Why don’t we check?” you offered.
“But it’s so far…” Horangi trailed off weakly as you marched past him, “hey! Where are you going!?”
“To see König!” you called back.
Horangi rolled his eyes, but followed behind you regardless.
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The outdoor training area had been split into three squads of men, each squad being led by a different officer. The first leader Horangi brought you to had looked you up and down suspiciously before promptly turning a shade of milk white when he spotted the suitcase in your arms.
“What the hell are you doing with that!?” the portly man squawked as he jabbed a finger at the offending black pleather suitcase.
“My husband forgot it before going to work,” you spoke softly, taken aback by the man’s animated reaction.
“Wh-König just left it at home?” the man’s pale skin was steadily flushing to a beet red the longer you let him sit with your answer.
“Can you show me where he is? I need to get this back to him,” you tried to calm him but he only grew steadily more upset.
“You’re telling me König left that suitcase in the hands of a damn civilian?” the man scoffed, “König’s an idiot, but he can’t be that stupid!”
“She’s probably telling the truth, Baker,” Horangi interjected.
Baker steamrolled over him with the grace of a bulldog chasing a rat, “So where the hell did you get that?”
“It was just on my kitchen ta-”
“It was on your what!?” Baker howled.
“Baker!” Horangi barked, finally making the man pause to let you breathe, “this is König’s wife.”
Baker’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped into a perfect ‘o’. He turned to you with a sheepish smile, “Sorry, ma’am, I… I should’ve put two and two together but just seeing a random civilian with that in their hands and… Well… You gotta understand, right?”
You tried to steel your nerves as you replied, “It’s alright! Don’t worry about it.”
“I really should apologize though,”  Baker blundered on, “I mean if I’d only known you were König’s wife I never would’ve-”
“Baker please,” Horangi pinched his nose bridge, “cut the shit. I’m really not in the mood to listen to you kiss ass for an hour straight.”
“Understood sir,” Baker snapped his jaw shut before subtly turning to you, “please don’t mention anything to König.”
“I won’t,” you assured him kindly.
“Thank God,” Baker quietly made the sign of a cross before returning back to his platoon.
Horangi dragged you along to the next platoon, quietly ignoring Baker’s inability to direct you to König. Instead you were brought before a short man with notably thick dark eyebrows, accentuating his severe browline as he scowled at his soldiers.
“G’day Horangi 'ow are what the hell is she holding,” the man glared at you as though you were but dirt beneath his steel-toed boots.
“This is König’s wife,” Horangi cut you off before you could even start, “she’s here to deliver what he forgot at home.”
The man’s dark eyes darted from you back to Horangi, “You’re tellin’ me big boy over there forgot the damn-”
“Don’t say it,” Horangi interjected harshly, “don’t you dare.”
“She don’t know?” the man whispered.
“Not a word,” Horangi’s threat was nearly lost under the shouts of men and the screams of whistles.
The man looked unnerved, but nodded along begrudgingly.
“Right, well, you’re lookin’ for the big guy?” the man glanced between you both.
“Sure are,” Horangi nodded.
“Well yer in luck!” the man’s face lit up, “big boy’s just over there.” With that, he pointed out into the distance at one big man sitting in a navy blue folding chair whilst commanding the smallest group of soldiers, no more than a squad in number. His back was to them, but it was clear it was none other than König. If nothing else, the mask on his face in the sweltering hot sun was a dead giveaway. It was a miracle you didn’t see him earlier.
“Damn,” Horangi spat, “you really think it would be easier to find him, but he’s damn good at getting lost in a crowd.”
“When ‘e’s in that chair it’s hard to spot ‘im,” the man chuckled, “now get outta my sight with that damned thing. Gives me the heebie-jeebies just lookin’ at it.”
You glanced down at the suitcase and back at Horangi.
“You don't want to know. Seriously,” Horangi muttered as he urged you onwards.
Instead of taking in the weight of Horangi's ominous utterances, you focussed on making your way to König with a skip in your step, eager to see your beloved husband. You were so eager that you didn’t notice how he tensed up as you drew close. Just as you were about to greet him, he slowly rose from his seat with a blood-curdling howl sent straight from hell itself.
“YOU!” König bellowed like a brazen bull, “JEFFERSON, YOUNG, MANDULU! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW.”
You stopped dead in your tracks. You had never, never, in your life ever heard König yell like that before. Sure he could curse up a wicked storm when he stunned his toe on the corner of your table, but this? This was another beast entirely. The mere thought of König yelling like this had been completely foreign to you.
“YOU USELESS ANIMALS,” König raged as he rounded in on the three cowering soldiers, “I have never, in my entire life, seen such incompetence,” König drew himself up to his full height, making even you shiver in your shoes, “and yet here you three are before me. What gives you the right to call yourself soldiers!?”
“I’m sorry sir, it won’t happen again,” the middle man’s voice quivered as he stepped forward for the others.
König’s laugh sounded downright demonic, “You’re apologizing for what? I haven’t even told you what you did wrong!”
You looked back at Horangi, who only threw you two thumbs up as he smartly backed away. You glared at his retreating form before König forcefully grabbed your attention.
“All three of you have been nothing but DEAD WEIGHT to the rest of your team. I’ve seen better performances from drunks moping up their own VOMIT!” König snarled as he drew close to the men, circling them like a hyena stalks its prey, “fucking Aziz is doing better than any of you. And Mandulu!” König clucked his tongue as the terracotta skinned man quivered like an aspen tree when König's voice dropped to a lull, “I expected better of you. You’re supposed to be up for promotion, yeah?" König leaned in close to scream, "DOES THIS PERFORMANCE WARRANT A GOD DAMN PROMOTION?” König’s face wasn’t even a foot from the man’s nose, leaning down and coating him with hot breaths from his draconic lungs.
The man, Mandulu, slumped as all fear left his body, totally replaced with encroaching shame. He dropped his head down, before tearfully admitting, “No sir.”
“THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?” König screamed.
A part of you wanted to intervene. You felt like you were witnessing a torture session with how König rounded on this poor man, but something held you back. Maybe it was fear, but maybe, just maybe… It was arousal.
You hated to admit it, but something about watching König’s muscles bulge in his neck as his mask swayed forth when he leaned down over men who easily dwarfed you excited you. You almost wished that you were in their shoes, but watching was more than enough. He was a glorious sight, rage burning like the sun as he lorded over his men like a god. He was a mountain of a man with how he held himself up above his victims. You wished to lay before him like Prometheus, let him rip you apart with his talons.
“And you two,” König spat as he turned to the others, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON YOUR PHONES? What are you doing twenty feet off looking at the others while they work like ACTUAL FUCKING SOLDIERS.”
One meekly spluttered, “Sir we were just-”
“Just what? Laughing at Goetz?” you could see König whipping himself up into a frenzy as he hurled his next insults, “GOETZ HAD KNEE SURGERY THREE MONTHS AGO AND IS STILL HAULING YOUR USELESS ASSES ACROSS THE GODDAMN FIELD. AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PLAYING ON YOUR GODDAMN PHONES!!!”
You shuddered. If there was one thing König hated, it was soldiers on their phone during training. You gave a silent prayer for the poor men.
König stalked around them slowly, “I should have you thrown out. What would I be losing? Nothing! Not a single thing! I might actually gain something without you two dragging us down!”
The men cowered miserably. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for them, despite knowing the abuse was more than well deserved. From the sounds of it, it was a miracle König hadn’t beaten them to a pulp. Now that… That would be a sight to witness…
“ALL OF YOU,” König snapped as he finally stood to face the three men directly, “Mandulu! Give me a ten page report on all the reasons you’re still worthy of a promotion today at eighteen-hundred exactly, or you’re up for recycling. For the next half hour, you’re running laps around the yard. Maybe think how you'll structure your points, ja?” he turned to the other two, this time with a sadistic gleam in his eyes. You knew that under his mask, he was grinning from ear to ear through the fury etched into his face. “And you two!” he cackled, “give me your phones. For the next week, you’re going to be putting your phones in lock boxes. You’re going to carry those fucking boxes from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. If you’re good little boys, you’ll get your phone for an hour before lights out. Are we clear?”
“But sir, my wife-”
“I DON’T GIVE A GOOD GOD DAMN ABOUT YOUR WIFE,” König roared.
The man shrunk into himself like he’d been burned by the flames of König’s fury.
“You are to carry your phones in lockboxes for the next two weeks! Are we clear?” König snapped.
“Yes sir,” the two miserable whelps squeaked out before König finally relaxed.
The goliath finally stood straight before them, “All three of you! Dismissed!”
“Yes sir,” the three men saluted and slunk off miserably.
Just as Mandulu looked like he couldn’t be in any worse of a state, König called out, “And Mandulu?" the man raised his dark for eyes, "I’m disappointed.”
The poor man looked like his whole spirit had just been crushed to dust. His face crumpled in just briefly before he quickly turned his face and quietly left.
You watched the poor man leave with his tail tucked between his legs before turning to look at König. He was shaking his head slowly as he turned his back on his soldiers, all of whom were watching him for further instruction. He quietly turned to them, barked a couple of commands that had the soldiers scurrying into actions, then turned back to stare off into the distance. Incidentally, that was right at you.
“Ah!” König stiffened slightly as he locked eyes with you, “meine liebe! What are you doing here?”
“I brought this for you,” you held up the suitcase that had been weighing you down all day.
“Oh mein Gott,” König gasped as he rushed over, “ohhhhh mein Gott meine leibe I can’t believe you found this. I can’t believe I forgot oh mein Gott.”
“I figured you might need it,” you laughed as you handed the suitcase over.
“I knew I was forgetting something, but this? If one of my superiors saw me without this,” König shuddered, “I don’t even want to think about it.”
“Well it’s a good thing I got it for you!” you smiled brightly before scowling, “it was really hard to find you though.”
“Oh?” König put the case down and put his hands on your shoulders, “where did you think I was?”
“Well, first Horangi took me to your office-”
“Please tell me he didn’t take you inside,” König groaned.
“He did,” you chirped, “but he did knock twice at least.”
“Well that’s something,” König grumbled, “so where did you go next?”
“We went to the cafeteria afterwards,” you placed your hands on König’s hips and shifted from side to side.
“You went to the cafeteria? Why didn’t you come here first?” König scoffed in mock offense.
“König,” you cupped his masked face in your hands, “I know you too well to not check the cafeteria second.”
König sniffed indignantly but let you continue your regales of your odyssey.
“So anyways, when you weren’t in the cafeteria, Horangi took me out here to find you! It took us a couple of tries, but we got here in the end!” you lightly kissed the inside of his wrist, making him chuckle sheepishly.
“So you saw all that?” König grimaced.
“All of it,” you told him, “I feel kinda bad for them though…”
“Ach,” König scratched the back of his head, “Jefferson and Young are fucking idiots, but Mandulu is usually one of my best. I don’t know what got into him today…”
“Maybe he’s going through a tough time?” you asked.
“I really hope not,” König winced, “if he is… Well, I can’t apologize. And if he were out on the fields it wouldn’t matter, so this is a good experience. Still,” König paused as he looked off to where Mandulu left, “I hope tomorrow is better.”
“Can't you go easy on him?” you asked hopefully.
“It’s because I like him that I have to be harder,” König patted your head lovingly, “if I’m soft, he’ll never be what he wants to be. If I’m hard on him, he might get to my rank in a couple of years.”
“That fast!” you whistled, “he must really be something special.”
“I was the one who put him up for promotion,” König brought his hands back to his hils, “but… You weren’t upset by any of that, were you?”
“Not really,” you shook your head, “if anything, it was kinda hot.”
“You thought me going red in the face is ‘hot’?” König shook his head in disbelief, “you’re a strange woman.”
“It’s cool to see you when you get all angry and stuff,” you chirped, then quietly added, “it would be hot if you yelled at me like that.”
“I don’t want the neighbors to know about your kinks,” König drawled as you blushed, “but if you really want, we could always try something when we get home.”
“Could we really?” you grinned eagerly.
“Well, not like that,” König pointed over his shoulder at where the three men had stood, “but I’m sure we can figure something out. Now,” he picked up the suitcase, “do you need a lift home?”
“I’ll be alright,” you assured him, “do you need me to go?”
“I'd hate for you to go so soon. If you like, I can meet you back in my office, but as you can see I’m a bit busy just right now,” König gestured over to the soldiers hauling a massive log over their shoulders from one end of the muddy field to the other.
“Can you at least give me a kiss before I go?” you asked.
“Of course,” König laughed.
Without missing a beat, König lifted his mask up to lean down and press a kiss against your lips. He held you tight briefly, then let you step back from his grasp. His eyes shone with an undying warmth as he took in your form once more.
“Colonel König has a face!” a soldier screamed in the distance.
König closed his eyes as he let out an exasperated groan.
“They’ve never seen your face?” you asked.
“They’ve never been on the field with me,” König explained before ruffling your hair, “now go to my office. I’ll be there soon, okay? I love you.”
“I love you too,” you blew him a kiss as you walked off back to the main building.
As you did, you could hear König raging and roaring at the soldiers from behind you. You felt bad, but you knew you’d be on the receiving end of König’s rage soon enough. Funnily enough, you looked forward to it.
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Story Masterlist
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sorceresssundries · 2 months
Text
Every Shade of Sunlight
This is a BG3 anniversary gift for my friend @mercymaker <3
Pairing: Astarion/Maleane (m/f) - SFW
Word Count: 2k
Summary: It is the last night before the group go to face the elder brain, and Maleane takes Astarion to watch the sunset for possibly the final time.
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"Darling, as much as I appreciate a little rough and tumble down a dirty alley, you’ve been dragging me through the city for quite a while now. Is there a specific dirty alley you had in mind? Or, did you just get sick of camp? Not that I blame you, my sweet. Gale has been particularly irritating this evening.” 
“Perhaps he's just trying to squeeze out as many words as possible in our last few hours together?” Maleane replied, her eyes scanning the shadows diligently.
Astarion sighed. “Sometimes, I’m glad he hasn’t decided to blow himself up. Other times, I regret not persuading him to do it sooner. He is frightfully repetitive.”
Maleane rolled her eyes, and could feel her lover’s greedy gaze on her as she strolled through the hidden alley which ran through the bowels of Grey Harbour. She was trying very hard not to be distracted; she had a careful, precise, time-sensitive plan. If Astarion didn’t stop brushing his hand over hers or making suggestive comments, she would definitely end up fucking him in a dirty alley. That wasn’t what she had planned... at least not right now.
“Aha!” She turned to him with a grin and pointed to a dank, well-hidden ladder that looked so rotted one step might turn it to mulch.
He looked highly unimpressed. “Unless that ladder leads to a cultist to kill and a heavy treasure chest to break into, I think I’ll stay down here.” he sneered.
“It leads somewhere much better than that. Trust me.”
He raised an eyebrow, sceptical. “Better than murder and treasure? This sounds like a trap.”
She grabbed the ladder with confidence despite its decrepit appearance. “You’ll just have to see for yourself.”
With a wary glance, Astarion followed her up the ladder, his usual swagger slightly tempered with caution. 
At the top, Maleane clambered onto a ledge and over a small railing to a tucked-away rooftop. The last light of the day bathed the space in a warm, golden glow, and the scent of blooming flowers filled the air. The rooftop was modest, nowhere near as spacious as Alfira and Lakrissa’s haven atop the Elfsong. This one was dingy, with weathered stone tiles underfoot and the faint remnants of old paint on the wall of the larger building that towered next to them. However, Maleane had done her best to breathe a little life into it.
A variety of plants, from hardy ferns to flowering vines, were strategically placed around the space, creating pockets of greenery and bursts of colour. Comfortable cushions, covered in bright but slightly faded fabrics, were scattered about, arranged on a couple of old wooden crates repurposed as makeshift seating. In one corner, a small wrought-iron table, a bit rusty but still sturdy, held a collection of candles in different shapes and sizes and a bottle of expensive wine
“This… this is unexpected.” Astarion turned to her, surprised.
“Don’t get too moony-eyed,” she teased. “I stole it all.”
“Well, then I'm even more impressed.”
“Come on. Sit.” Maleane gestured towards the makeshift bench while she poured out a glass of wine for them. 
Together they sat, and spoke, and sipped their wine. Maleane resting her head on her lover’s shoulder as they watched the sun set on their final day with parasites in their heads. Tomorrow, one way or another, Astarion would no longer be able to bask in the light he had become accustomed to. It pained her. 
The view from the rooftop was nothing short of spectacular. The Chionthar stretched out below, glowing with shades of gold and crimson. The sounds of the bustling city were muted, a low background hum—ambient sounds for the two lovers on a rooftop in the city they were trying to save. 
“As delightful as your company is, it feels like you’ve brought me here for a reason, my love. Or are you just feeling sentimental?”
“Show a little patience, you’ll see.”
“Darling, I was a slave for almost two hundred years. Patience is the only thing I've ever had.”
She nudged him with her elbow, and nodded her head back towards the sunset. “Watch.”
He sighed dramatically, then quieted, watching as the sun he loved almost as much as her began to sink below the horizon. The shimmer of yellow, soft and tired after a long day, was slowly being dragged away. Astarion stared at it with barely concealed longing, all his usual bluster and facade dropped. He observed the sunset the way one would watch their lover walk out the door for the final time.
Maleane, however, only watched him as light muted and the shadow of dusk fell over his face, turning his eyes from shining scarlet to a deeper maroon—so much deeper they could almost be mistaken for brown. His skin looked less pale, his fangs hidden beneath the straight line of his lips. He looked the way she imagined he did when he was alive.
She often wondered what he was like in those days, when he was young and human and fragile. Did he ever steal bottles of wine and sneak away to hidden rooftops in the city he lived and loved in? What did he look like, smell like, sound like? Maybe his words used to sound different slipping off a tongue that wasn’t silken and practiced. Perhaps his vowels were rounder, his accent softer, uncut by the sharp points of his teeth. 
Maybe he was an entirely different person, or perhaps he was exactly the same. Maleane would never know, and Astarion would never remember.
She grieved for the person he was before, loved him for who he was in this moment, and steeled herself to protect the person he would become. No one stayed the same; everyone was as changing as the seasons, and contained as many colours and streaks as the sunburst sky. Her heart ached as he mourned the death of the day, the final one he would possibly ever see. Then, his expression shifted. He looked confused.
Maleane smiled and tore her gaze from him to follow where his eyes were fixed.
Right there, in the day’s final moments, when only the very top of the sun was visible - it turned green. Just for a few magical, unexplainable moments, a vibrant, clear flash of the brightest emerald. And then, it was gone.
“Did you see that?” His disbelief reminded her of a child watching snow fall for the first time.
Maleane hummed in contentment and put her hand over his. “Sometimes, when the sky is clear and the weather is right, just in the final moments before the sun disappears - it turns green.”
“Why?”
She shrugs, “I don’t know, I'm sure there’s some long, boring explanation that Gale could tell us about. It’s supposed to be a sign of luck, a good omen.”
“How did you know it would happen?”
“I didn’t. I hoped.” She sighed as his cool thumb brushed over her knuckles. “I used to watch out for it when I was a child. Most people don’t even see it. They sit under the sun every day and never know all its colours. Lives are lived and days are long and no one stops to see the sun turn green.” His eyes are fixed upon her now, the sun long forgotten. “I wanted to show you every shade of sunlight. Gods knows how long it will be before you see it again.”
“If I ever do.” His voice was weaker than she had ever heard it. 
“You will.” Hers was made of iron.
They sat there for a while, the two of them, as the orange and purples and reds of the sunset stained sky melted away into inky blue. The light followed the sun below the line of the horizon, where it sat and patiently waited for tomorrow. Who knows what it would cast itself over the next time it appeared. 
Dawn could clutch at the burnt-out corpse of Baldur’s Gate in the morning like a grief-wrecked parent, and wake the birds to sing songs of sorrow. Or… it could raise its arms in celebration, light up the homes of the saved and slip through the stained glass of still-standing temples and cast colour across stone floors. Shimmering through the tears of grateful worshippers which would stain the feet of the Gods, making their worship look like diamonds.
The Gods didn’t deserve their tears. It would not be the Gods that saved them, Maleane thought bitterly. It would be up to her small group of misfits and outcasts. The chosen and the cast-aside. The faithless and the faithful. The tortured vampire and the lost girl from the woods.
No-one would thank Astarion. The gratitude of the morning sun would not reach him. He would slink, shadowed and unrewarded, once again back into the darkness. He would not be alone though, Maleane would make sure of that. 
“Have you ever been up here before?” Maleane asked, It was strange to imagine Astarion as a young man. Just one of the people she had seen settled and happy in the routine of their day in the city. It was a heartbreak to think about how she was so grateful to have found him, and yet the only reason he was in her life was because he had been killed, dragged back from death, and mistreated so poorly.
“Who knows darling.” He sighed. “I don’t remember much, only blurred faces and whispered names. I distanced myself too much to remember particular details. I don’t even know who I was, let alone where I've been.”
He took a long sip of his wine and became lost in clouded thoughts. 
“I’ve been a victim, and I've been a monster, and, ridiculously, some kind of hero. I don’t know who I really am, or which one I'll be when all this is over and I have to deal with normality” He pulled a face as though he'd just bitten something sour. 
“All of them.” She said, simply.  “You’re a person.” She touched his face, cool and perfect. Brushes her fingers down and along the chest that has no rise and fall to it. “Full of burnt orange, and flashes of scarlet, and a yellow so blinding it could be pure white. And also, in rare little moments right before darkness - flashes of green.”
“You’re very sweet.” He lifted her hand to kiss it  “Nothing at all like the angry little forest sprite I first pressed my blade to.” He teased, and flashed his pointy teeth in a genuine smile. 
“What can I say, turns out the threat of ceremorphosis, being thrown into a group of strangers, lifting curses, slaying dragons and becoming the partner of a vampire will change a girl.”
He gifted her with some of his sparkling laughter, a sound so sweet and imperfect a monster would never be able to make it. “Partner,” he said, clinking her wine glass with his own. “I like that.”
Their last peaceful moment was abruptly shattered by another shuddering quake from the elder brain, barely contained and thrumming with anxious, threatened energy, awaiting their arrival. 
“This was wonderful while it lasted, darling,” he sighed, rising and extending his hand to her. “But I guess nothing lasts forever.”
She gazed at him, pale and ethereal, bathed in fresh moonlight.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Maleane replied, as her fingers entwined with his. “Let’s wait and see.”
He kissed her then, beneath the warm blanket of dusk, with the fervour of a man gasping for air, for life, for her. She knew that no matter what came next, even if it meant centuries in the shadows, she would stay by his side.
She would be his light, his mirror, and the home he could always return to.
“Please don’t kiss me like it’s our last night,” she murmured softly, a trace of anxiety creeping in for the uncertain hours ahead.
He smiled against her lips. “My love, I’m kissing you like it’s our first.”
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weebsinstash · 1 year
Text
As much as I want to have children by this man, let's take a moment to sip our platonic yandere Miguel juice
-i can't decide which sex he'd be more partial to in a 'child'/you since in the movie there was Gabriella but in the comics he eventually has a son who becomes the next Spiderman but--
-as a girl i just naturally think of a lot of those sorts of gender specific ideas 👉👈 he's this big scary hulking intimidating threat and his "daughter" is the one melting his cold exterior
-doesnt matter if you're a grown ass woman, Miguel sees you struggling to braid your hair and suddenly here he is, full dad mode, doing it for you,and depending on how close you two are, maybe he disguises it with "ugh, stop spending so much time messing around with that. If I do it for you will you get back to work? 🙄", but really it's just your new self proclaimed dad/tio wanting to help braid your hair and help you feel pretty and, oh, how he can fondly remember the last time he helped braid "his daughter's" hair...
-of course this evolves to him just loving to do things with your hair. Braid it, wear it natural, style it, use products on it, hes got you. you were just trying to put your hair in a lazy updo like a ponytail or bun and this man doesn't let you leave until he's got you completely combed out, hair braided with ribbons, and of course this entire time youre awkwardly sitting there in a chair in his absolute cave of a workstation with this gargantuan 6'9 man there, "so how was your day? Staying out of trouble?"
-really I mean. Is stealing other people's kids NOT technically in character for him. You're unfortunate enough to trauma bond with this man and you're never getting rid of him
-you hear Miles Morales call him tio (as in the tio meaning dude) and you jokingly teasingly start calling him tio, which Miguel secretly pretends is the version that means uncle. You're just constantly joking around or looking up at him with these big pouty eyes, "but tio 🥺 can't I PLEASE--" and its like. Lmao people know that if they need to ask Miguel for a favor, that it increases their chances to have you ask in their stead
- I mean, as a female adult abused as a child by my own father, raised by a single mom myself, like...
Reader flinches away when Peter B goes to give you a supportive pat on the back or comes in for a high five after a mission and you force yourself to laugh because you're feeling more than just a little awkward and in the spotlight. "Oh, sorry, that was dumb!" And they eventually get you to kind of anxiously word vomit "my dad used to just kind of, rough me up sometimes when I did something wrong! It-it could've been a lot worse honestly, but, it-it just makes me kinda jumpy around guys sometimes! It's not a big deal, or personal or anything. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad 🥺"
Peter B, Jessica, and Miguel all there as older parental figures and also literal parents, immediately exchange looks and agree like "oh hell naw, don't like that" and you get silently adopted by all three of em right then and there
-if it's a physically abusive father and you're still the victim of abuse, I imagine your dad had some suspicious figures suddenly show up in the middle of the night to terrify and threaten the shit out of him and suddenly you aren't getting as manhandled anymore
-can you imagine, like, you show up to Spider Society one day with a black eye "oh, this? It's, it's nothing. My dad is just, he's about to make police captain and he's really stressed about it is all" cue all your friends mentally high fiving around the table because your abusive piece of shit dad is going to die and you don't even know. When it happens they'll all be "oh no, sweetie, I'm SOOOO sorry :(" meanwhile they're thrilled bc now you don't have any parents and they can weasel in there as your new family, schedule your birthday parties, monopolizing more of your time, things like that
-goddd I just imagine it could become some kind of weird fucked up enmeshed scenario where the structure it's providing for your life is actually good for you meanwhile Miguel is like, retroactively kind of soothing some of his trauma both from his own childhood and what happened with the second universe he broke that it's just like. You're a grown ass adult and this man is tucking you in goodnight and saying "te amo, mija" at the doorway and you bet his ass is going to stand there and not let you sleep until you say it back. He knows you're just absolutely seething at him and he'll still refuse to leave without a grumbling "te amo, papá 🙄"
-He eventually just has you doing so much shit and depending on him so much that it starts to become second nature to you. one day you're in the Society doing one of the odd jobs you're allowed to help with and suddenly you're thinking, "Ugh I actually don't know what to do next, I wish Papá was here to-- WAIT SHIT NO I MEAN MIGUEL--"
-lmaooooo as a non Spanish speaker I keep thinking of how awwwwwful it would be if he actually forces you to learn Spanish. Not inherently because there's anything wrong with Spanish, but, I'm not always smart, and I can just SEE him quizzing your ass, forcing you to have entire conversations in Spanish, always clicking his tongue or chuckling at you when you make a mistake and he just thinks you're so cute struggling to learn 🥰 man hears you're trying to take extra lessons from Miles and he instantly drops everything he's doing to go track the little scamp down. Insert meme "I can forgive being an anomaly but I draw the line at teaching Reader bad Spanish"
-siiiiiiigh eventually the day comes when you're in big danger and you need his help, maybe you disobeyed him and was hanging out with some other Spiders in another dimension when there was a sudden villain attack, and he comes to your rescue as a villain does something dramatic like has a gun to your head or a knife to your neck and the second you see him you're just overwhelmed wirh a sense of relief, calling out for him, calling him dad/tio/papá whatever, and he's just like 😭❤️ pumping his fist internally, like YES you are so grounded when you get back home but also 🥰 you finally called him dad without him having to twist your arm 🥰 nevermind if the "villain" who kidnapped you was actually a Spider who owed him a favor, and this whole thing was to teach you a lesson about listening to your Papá, that's not important ❤️
-Miguel who forces you to learn Spanish vs Miguel who forces you to be Catholic. I can excuse kidnapping and forced adoption but I draw the line at making me practice religion 💀 no but seriously, he probably does have certain morals and values he instills/forces upon you if he thinks you need them, and he'll probably be one of those fathers, "are you leaving the house dressed like that? Go change" and orders you not to hang out with certain people he doesn't approve of or thinks have bad character (like hobie lmao)
-bruh you two will be on a super serious important mission and this man will be like "it's dark, hold my hand so we dont get separated"
Eventually it comes to a point where you're, not perfectly behaved but, just about. If someone finds Miguel, it means you're not very far away, or vice versa. Members of the Society quickly learn not to make any advances on you or make any "adult" comments unless they want to get suspiciously hurt during a personal training session by the big boss himself. You think you're safe just cause Miguel isn't around? Nah, cause then you have Peter B and Jess keeping an eye on you, and, not that YOU'RE aware of the extent, but, if Miguel ever gets worried, he can just ask Lyla what you've been getting up to, since your modified little daypass has her installed into it and she can track your every move ❤️ helicopter parent? Oh honey, you have NO idea...
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spencersssockss · 8 months
Text
Library
Summary: You meet Spencer at the library when going to check out The Fisher King…
Warnings: none!!!
Word count: 700
Ally: This is based loosely off the fisher king episode kinda but not really, sorry about the length!! I plan on having a second part to this one soon!!! Enjoy lovelies!
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You loved reading, any free time you had was spent reading, and it served as a distraction.
Your friend had been telling you about a book she had recently heard of, it was called The Fisher King, you did a tremendous amount of research on it only to find out the only possible way to read it would be to get it from your local library as it was no longer being sold due to its old age and rarity.
You decided to visit the library after work to pick it up, luckily someone had just returned it, and just as you were checking out a nerdy, tall, and lanky man walked towards the front desk next to you.
“Do you mind if I read that book in your hand before you leave?” It’ll only take like ten minutes,” he quickly said eyes bright as he bounced his foot nervously.
“Ten minutes?” you questioned cocking an eyebrow.
Spencer bit his cheek for a second before replying, “I have an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute, I know it sounds crazy but just trust me, it's really important,” he mumbled quickly.
“I-uh okay,” you stuttered handing him the book.
Taking the book in his hands, Spencer carefully flipped through it, fingers running over every page as he read, his eyes glancing over the words quickly, taking in every detail. After what seemed like only a few seconds, he closed the book and handed it back to you with a small smile.
“There's no way you read that all,” you blurted eyes widening.
“I promise, I did. My name's Spencer Reid by the way,” he said extending his hand for you to shake.
you shook it hesitantly still in disbelief.
With a smile, Spencer continued, “I'm a psychologist and criminal profiler for the FBI, always on the lookout for new books to read, this time it was actually for a case.”
You gasped in realization, you remembered before you graduated he had done a lecture at your college. “I've seen you before, you do lectures right?” you asked.
Spencer's cheeks reddened slightly, and he nodded. "Yeah, I've given several lectures on various topics, mostly about the human mind and behavior."
“You're one of the reasons I became a counselor,” you smiled.
Spencer smiled warmly, "That's amazing. I'm glad to have played a small part in your journey." He glanced around the library, trying to think of something else to say. "Would you like to get coffee or something sometime?”
“Absolutely, do you want my number?” you asked breaking into a smile.
"I'd love your number," Spencer replied, pulling out his phone. He tapped on the screen a few times before handing it over to you. "Here, add your number, sorry for not asking your name earlier, if you don't mind me asking now what is it?” he blushed slightly.
“it's y/n,” you smiled putting in your number and handing his phone back to him.
"Thank you, Y/N," Spencer said, pocketing his phone. He couldn't help but feel a bit flustered at the interaction. It was rare for him to meet someone who understood and appreciated his work so deeply. "Well, I should probably get back to my research now.”
“Yeah, sorry for keeping you so long,” you blushed holding the book against your chest.
"It's quite alright," Spencer reassured you with a gentle smile. "I hope we can catch up again soon, maybe over that coffee or even another book." He waved goodbye before disappearing into the stacks of the library.
You stood there for a moment still in disbelief at what had just happened, the librarian laughed before saying, “he's a cutie isn't he?”
You blushed deeply turning to face her to answer, “Just a little,” you mumbled making her laugh again.
“He works for the FBI actually,” she added laughing again as your eyes widened.
“Good to know,” you smiled waving at her as you left the library and headed home to read the book. Which would probably take YOU a lot longer than ten minutes.
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