#its my friends from high school

[bacchuschucklefuck]

pygmalion and galatea for aroace people

you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.

[iarrelm]

An early morning conversation about tea got a little out of hand

[lunart-06]

My Makoto Naegi angst analisis thing (Hc)

(PLEASE KEEP IN NOTE): That this is just my general idea of him, kinda scared to share this cause qjdnnejf I know everyone has different opinions on Makoto so I'm just posting this in my own prespective of him. (It's a little messy cause I am unstable and disorganized when I write this so beware ooo)

Here's the art I made for this

So like, I believe Makoto has issues I think we all established that, and the moment when komaru mentioned of how he changes a lot in UDG (but still hold some same aspects of traits and habits that just makes him.... him) after managed to contact him the first time. It strucks me so bad that it gaves me a migrane /vpos

Like, Makoto earned his new title of the ultimate Hope (with the capital H and everything) just by defeating Junko the ultimate despair? By that point he was seen by the world as the savior and as the first and only hope they have thought lost for YEARS

Makoto's ability to move everyone by just words to which he probably didn't even realised the power he held over it. He's just incredibly passionate and its because his whole body speaks GENUINE emotions, his stubborn willpower and determination undeterred by despair and everything Junko herself has set up for.

It is something not everyone has the luxury to have. His optimism. But that's the thing.

Makoto was the ultimate Hope, only because he was just optimistic in nature. It was the flock of the moment during the last trial, his contagious optimism is what everyone, his friends, the world, preceives as Hope. The enlighting feeling of inspiration by just words of support and motivations for the first time since years after the tragedy started.

But again. Thats the thing. The "Hope" they admire, they clung onto, they worshipped, and they DIE for, was his mere optimistic nature. Just like he said himself "Optimism is all I'm best at".

Its cause well, it's true. (Kinda)

All he was ever good at in his view was just being that. When I rewatched future arc I sense how unBEARABLY useless he is without that title and usual positive nature, and his words don't reach the leaders of future foundation from attempting to kill one another (aside from certain ones, and at the very end ofc, but even then it was too late to prevent the deaths). His words doesnt even managed to reach Ryota from preventing him in using the Hope brainwash video.

It just further shows how.... normal he is

Despite the title, it just shows that he is nothing but a normal guy. He's not some god everyone preceives him to be, he's just some dude that was placed in a wrong time and place.

It's like all the good he is being- well, normal. Like typical "good kid". Somehow it kinda hurts to think about it, like you're obligated to see all positive in lives for it as everyone depends on you for such.

And now the whole world was in the palm of his hands.

I feel like he's scared, despite his strong stand and brave, determined face, he is a normal, ordinary guy that scared to lose what he was ever good and seen by everyone as. Being optimistic and hopeful.

Its like he's not allowed to even be sad for a moment to cry his hearts out. Because the world depends on him, his friends depends on him, he rely on them too much, he cant lose hope cause if he does, the world will fall apart AGAIN, and people will die AGAIN (just like his classmates, just like the people who died for him) he doesnt think he can handle that the second time.

Since that one thing Makoto despises the most is violence. Death to be exact.

He was probably exhausted but he cant yet, he has to keep moving forward, for the world's sake, his friends' sake, his only remaining family; his sister's sake, and for the sake of those who had died so he can carry out their hope that was left behind.

Theres also this quote that remind me of him:

"I'm scared that the moment I look like I'm suffering. Noone will believe me anymore"

Because like. He really cant do things as much without his friends. All he has was his hope; his positivity, determination, and optimistic nature. So he stood tall, facing despair, putting up a strong look just so people of the world, and his friends know, that they all can trust him. To have faith in him.

Because being optimistic is all he's best at.

That hope he has held dearly was destroying him internally. Scary thing is it? Despair isnt what was breaking him. It was the very thing that he was good at. And the very thing everyone thought of when they see him.

Just like junko when you think about it. She- ultimate despair, destroyed herself by the very thing she is (basically executed herself in the last trial) and now makoto was doing the same thing.

"The world's hope", "the strongest who never falters at the face of despair", "the savior", "their guiding light"

How much longer should he keep that up? Before everyone realised that he's nothing but just an ordinary, plain, boring guy?

How much longer should he fall before allowing himself to hit the ground?

A sprout who never truly managed to grow old, it's choose to shelter other by it's leaves, holding still, unmoving.

Yet its roots slowly rotten by parasites and disease, trying to keep the earth together. They can't die now, they're the protector, the hope of it all. <-(quote by one of my friend Ele, which I think is neat in itself, considering Naegi's name means sappling or seedling in general ajdhwjdj)

He may have survived the first killing game that birth his title as the Ultimate Hope,

He may have survived the second killing game in the Neo world program that shows us how devastated it must be for Makoto that Nagito would go that far for the sake of hope, how Makoto's words and hope does not reach the remaining survivor,

He may survived the third killing game in the Future Foundation where it must be devastating that he's unable to understand the victims fully from preventing them to try and kill eachother off ("don't try pretending you understand them, you don't understand them at all" kinda feel), where he watched as Kyoko died for his hope, not telling him THAT she will die, letting him live because not only that he was the closest friend she ever has, but knowing her; she thinks that the world still need the ultimate hope, and because of that, she was ready to accept her fate for it, because she was assured that Makoto is strong enough to move forward even when it's hard, because she has faith in him. Because she believes that Makoto will never give up Hope.

Eventhough he had survive countless scenarios where he could die anytime of those. I feel like eventhough he had survived multiple times.. he had died, multiple times as well, to become who he is now (multiple rebirth symbolism). To the point where he is unrecognizable in his own eyes, the feeling of the old him far out of reach, who is he now?

Things are so simple to him back then, why does things don't make sense to him about himself now?

He may never feel lonely outside, because he believes that his friends will always have his back, he believes that there will always be someone that could give him a hand.

But here, in his own mind, in his own exhaustion, in his own struggle, in his own confusion, he is completely all alone. This one is his alone to go through, his friends has too much on their plate already to handle this, he relied on them too much already.. (in a way, perhaps, he try to rely on others less).

Theres soooo many I wanna say about him but this is the general idea of my view on him, or er, version ig? His accidental savior complex that is.

And don't make me start of his self-sacrificial tendency. /lh

[skunkes]

i dpnt want to go hoooome

[soulmvtes]

it's actually so crazy how i always end up befriending people i admire

[erenfox]

guess who just speedran through A Good Girl's Guide to Murder and One of Us is Lying, and now is gonna hyperfixate over pipravi, natewyn, addy mf prentiss as a whole, and ashton x eli (what's their ship name???) 😍😍😍

[myfaveisfuckable]

Heyyy (with the intent of infodumping about knapped obsidian blades in my own submissions form instead of the character I submitted)

[ashstfu]

this is incredibly random but what if we just ran across a beach’s shoreline watched the sea ebb and held hands with the sun hugging us from behind as we danced and played and laughed and fell and got hurt from the softness of the waters and the rare tender hurtings of the sand?

(haii <3 hru <33)

MY LOVE!!!! you are so so sweet i might as well cry... kindly asking you to take my heart and keep it w you forever and ever.. pls

[fecto-forgo]

btw not to be a disabled poor piss baby but the way ppl (SPECIALLY americans) treat struggling to recall things deemed common sense that you learned in school/straight up not knowing them as some personal moral failure is fucking weird lmao.every education system has a problem w failing disabled kids that cant follow along typical learning by just letting them fall behind w zero ways to catch up n my country has an issue w teenagers dropping out to support their families so they dont starve to death so it just rlyyy doesnt sit right w me when ppl claim if you cant remember some random fuck middle school class fact youre an idiot that doesnt remember bc you dont want to.i dont know how to explain to you all if a CHILD is being failed by adults to be taught smth its literally not their fault specially when in nearly all cases its bc of outside factors (i mentioned disability n poverty here but lets not forget stuff like abused kids being unable to focus due to stress or bc they lack a safe environment to study at home, for example)

idk ig my point is not everyone had a great home life w a stable financial situation n zero genetic conditions that let them get head pats from adults for being good at memorizing books, n its weird af to want to be superior than ppl who didnt have those bc its literally not our fault that as CHILDREN we were failed by adults n nowadays only managed (at BEST scenario, remember lots of ppl nowadays still cant even read bc they didnt even get the chance to do elementary) to remember actual essential basics that let us get by n not high school physics trivia.also if all those things r suuuuch big common sense idk why yall want to feel better than us for knowing them, by your own reasoning theyre completely worthless knowledge everyone has, no point in showing off you know smth like that, but ig at the end of the day its all abt feeling special for having success handed to you in a silver plate compared to the losers not born as lucky

[anouchan-jpg]

January 2023

[monachopism]

am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible

[iknaenmal]

OH RHIS SUCKS

[did-you-fall-for-a-shooting-star]

The problem I run into with having mostly friends from college is that they all live far away. I miss them. But also. I have no one to make go get ice cream with me :(

[oflgtfol]

i was talking to my therapist last week about how i'm kinda excited but also equally apprehensive about starting grad school this fall because yes, i so so desperately needed a gap year otherwise i think i literally would have killed myself and/or had a breakdown big enough to land me in the hospital, and even beyond that i just needed to figure out a more concrete plan of what i'm going to do with my life in general -- while all of that is true, and i'm glad i took the gap year for it, i'm also apprehensive because i genuinely feel like an entirely different person than i was even at this exact point in time last year, nevermind anything earlier than that. it's only been a single year of me being out of school but my life has changed so dramatically, mostly for the better, and my whole personality has flipped on its head, it's just going to be so fucking weird going back to the same school, the same campus, potentially seeing my old friends around. augh

[synthaphone]

ohhhh my god. tumblr logged me out, so i logged back in and was like. why the fuck is my tumblr all messed up. why is it defaulting to showing me a ton of posts from people i don't follow. why does it say i'm following someone i unfollowed years ago. what the fuck

well, its because i wasn't paying attention while logging back in and accidentally logged into my ancient neoblog i regained access to last year. OOPS! well glad that momentary and bizarre crisis is over

[exoscreamsoda]

im finally not jobless

it took me 200+ applications (not on indeed but directly on compan websites) and almost 2 years since graduating college (WHERE I EARNED A BACHELORS WITH CUM LAUDE HONORS). im 24 years old and i was just now able to secure a job that wasn't given to me out of pity. it should NOT have taken me 6 years of adulthood to get even a chance at having a normal life, out of those 200 applications i only had 3 interviews, all online except for this final one. it should NOT be this hard to get a job in a country with help wanted signs everywhere. i wish every single ceo/boss/boomer in this country had to go through the pain and suffering of job hunting when you have no nepotism to help you.