#its not much but its HONEST WORK OKAY

[ecstarry]

@rosekillermicrofic / forever / 183 words / @fromagony

Barty and Evan were 14 years old 

“Are you ready?” Barty hesitantly asked. 

“Are you?” Evan countered in a tone that lacked as much certainty as Barty’s.

“Fuck it. Let’s get this over with.” 

They looked at each other once last time as they walked through the doors that were sure to change everything: High School. 

Then, Barty and Evan were 18 years old 

“Are you ready?” Barty asked, a little eager this time. 

“Are you?” Evan replied with a smirk.

“Fuck it. Let’s get this over with.” 

Once again, they looked at each other once last time as they walked through new doors: College. 

And then, Barty and Evan were 27 years old 

“Are you ready?” Barty asked, excitement all over his body. 

“Are you?” Evan replied with something reserved only for Barty: tenderness.

“Fuck it. Let’s get this over with.” 

They looked at each other again, as they had been doing all their lives. Two boys that grew up with nothing to care for but each other. They were on the other side of a new door, placing a ring in each other’s fingers. A forever. 

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

[tequiilasunriise]

Being in fandoms where the characters are clearly based on other pieces of media/famous figures is so much fun because then some of my ships look like this:

Parentified Goldilocks who is also The Beast x Avoidance attachment Beauty who is ALSO also The Beast, one of my fav moments with them is when they off the Minotaur together who is ALSO also also The Beast

Little Red Riding Hood if she was also the Wolf and has galloons of repressed trauma x Snow White but she’s heavily knight coded and the poster child of daddy issues

Edgar Allen Poe’s Lenore x Annabel Lee but they’re in gay ghost love

The poem ‘The Last Rose of Summer’ x Odin’s raven Huginn but they’re exes still in love in a milf yuri divorce that ends super mega tragically and domino effects mommy issues out the ass

Historical figures Cleopatra x Frida Kahlo with the most chef’s kiss height difference you’ve ever seen

A polycule with Joan of Arc x Mulan x Thor x Achilles but they’re all genderbent/trans

The Velveteen Rabbit x fashion icon Coco Chanel if she was a lesbian with a gun

Frankenstein’s monster x a different sapphic Cleopatra bc baby gays <3333

Okay okay that black cat from Poe’s, well, The Black Cat x Poe’s Eulalie is cute yes

But I actually really REALLY love Poe’s Eulalie x Poe’s Berenice bc they’re “me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic” personified

The Snow Queen with mega daddy issues x Robin Hood if he was a socialist lesbian I SAIDDDD ITTTT

Imma say it historical figures JFK x Confucius were adorable bros

Aesop’s Fisherman x Odin’s other bird Munin you will always be famous my tragic old man yaoi <////3

Y’all will really have to hear me out here when I say Cinderella if she fucken snapped x ice cream Mad Hatter because couples who are terrible to each other but in a “only I’m allowed to be a horrid to them” way can be so funny

And I could go o n fer ages but the point is imagine explaining these ships to someone like 30 years ago with ZERO context their heads would explode and it’d be so funny

[lovesickeros]

I also feel old whenever I look at the newer sagau fics

nah cuz what happened..i was there for the birth of this au when it was a handful of people vibing and everyone knew like. everyone now its everywhere and im walking back into it like a year later and everything is on fire LIKE....damn im just old huh. ya'll evolved while i was gone. not that its a bad thing but im like ????? tryna navigate all the new au's and content + writers..

[gifti3]

[boxwinebaddie]

if you don’t mind me asking, how in the everloving fuck did you get mercury AND arsenic poisoning?? is that common??

siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

so, no...thankfully, my dear, sweet darling:

i don't think it's terribly common, ( neither was the arsenic i guess, but i'll get into that ) but it is when you're stupid as fuck like me.

because i am too lazy to type it all out again and don't have it in me to be eloquent ( i am saving that for writing about the boys, now that i, thankfully, can coherently write again ) i will send you the synopsis that i sent elite sickfic style dr. ana ( god's fucking angel )

**it's the updated, more articulate ( give or take ) version because i tried to explain it to the girls the day i got home ( take it easy on them please, i couldn't text or call and gave them quite a fright, ily girlies ) unfortunately, i was still not super good at making words and processing things, so i wrote this now that i am functioning better.

sorry for spooking you all about the parasite; long story short, it was not as deadly as i thought -- I DID, HOWEVER, STILL HAVE A VERY NASTY BACTERIAL INFECTION, LIKE WHEN I SAY NASTY, I MEAN VERY, VERY, VERY BAD AND I WAS FIGHTING IT CONCURRENTLY WITH THE PARA WHICH MADE IT SEEM A LOT WORSE, VERY ASS!

but long story, medium:

alright! gather round kids --

it's uncle nina story time.

tw for gross medical stuff / me being in mentally ill hell

anyways, looking forward to sharing my writing with you all again and answering my asks if we still care!

love you and hyh,

metal head uncle nina

[artsandstoriesandstuff]

Me looking through all the reblogs/comments from people genuinely concerned about my wellbeing:

[dog-girl-zezora]

//

[gemharvest]

Need to get on top of whatever dumb fucking inferiority complex I got going on I'm tired of looking at everything about myself and going "Wow I am really sub-par." I know it's 2am but this isn't the midnight thoughts talking this is a fucking persistent curse throughout my day.

[motherforthefamicom]

trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school

[volivolition]

what's the theme you're fucking going for here voliiii!!! what are you fucking getting at!!! what are you trying to say, what's the point??

[luca---paguro]

WOAH I don't have anything to post for it (I'm so sorry I've been so busy lately, but thank you for 88 followers?? That is an INSANE number and I really appreciate it!! Yall are cool and hopefully I have more cool stuff to show sometimes soon!! Really thank you!!

[lesbianspeedy]

Where did you get that comic font from?

i love when people ask this bc i get to use this meme

[qeyond]

Youtube | Spotify

CW abuse/trauma/ptsd. It's a pretty raw song (both in lyrics and the way Black Dresses preforms their songs) so listen at your own discretion.

This song really speaks so honestly to the deeply self-destructive spiralling for B, in my opinion. Speaking politeness through your gritted teeth with a lying softness, boiling over, letting it out, feeling it on your bared, snarling teeth, breathing out smoke, "is it me? am I the problem? am I the evil monster?", "its always been me", spitting up blood, biting the hand that feeds and ripping them the fuck to shreds to be left alone.

Lyrics under the cut.

Why thank you for your opinion What you think is so important So let's talk this out i love it You're so funny i hope you're doing well Thank god for the tongue in your mouth I'm so happy i'm so lucky I get to do whatever i can be myself But you know what? I have zero tolerance for Bad little shitheads Who only seem to fuck around

Same shit different day You need to fuck off you need to go away I don't wanna talk about it That's all that I came to say Get out of my space You worthless fucking fuckface

Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are?

Hey bitch, what the fuck's going on? Is this how you wanna spend the Last few years of your life? Of your life? The last few years your legacy Your legacy your legacy your

You can hide out in your tiny little lair You can be the fucking evil monster terror Scared you can be the evil monster It was always you it was always you It was always you it was always you It was always you

It was always something I couldn't be That was just outside reality It was always something I couldn't know That I didn't know that I shouldn't show Because everything around me Felt just like a bad dream It was all or nothing Be the kind of person you hate or be

Hated for the things that you Thought were common sense Just a little further One day it will make sense Hold yourself a little tighter Your innocence

Preyed upon and vilified by Your blood and friends

Who am I if I can't assign a Name and place to what this is? Everything that's mine feels rotten from The touch of it everything all the time is a Message that I shouldn't be Who the fuck are you? Stay the fuck away from me

I want to love myself but Memories are killing me I want to live but all the years That came before won't let me be I want to love myself but Memories are killing me I want to live but all the years That came before won't let me be I want to love myself but Memories are killing me I want to live but all the years That came before won't let me be I want to love myself but Memories are killing me Memories are killing me Memories are killing me it hurts

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

wip wednesday!

This time we're doing something a little different! This wip snippet is chapter 3 of 'MY SOULMATE MADE A DATE FOR ME AND OUR BOYFRIEND.. | Empires SMP S2 1.19'! I came on as a coauthor to finish up a partial draft by @blocksruinedme (an amazing person and writer that I'm honored to be able to work with ^v^)

This is part of the rough draft, so it will probably go through some edits ^-^

---

Tango knew they would get the hint after all the effort he went through, but he also hoped that it would actually... well, work. In the big feely feelings way.

But he didn’t know if the questions about each other was enough to get them to have a good, deep conversation with each other.

He didn’t know if it was enough to repair their fragile relationship. 

He didn’t know if he was even helping at all. 

But he made it and committed already by telling Jimmy and fWhip that he was making a surprise, which was why they weren’t allowed to watch him work on the project like they normally do. 

He just had to hope that it would all work out.

---

[dykedragons]

man. should rlly start bringing my sketchbook to work