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#its so fucked because im stuck between feeling coherced but also knowing the situation i was putting myself into
coyoteuugly
·
2 years
Text
i cheated last night
#i never thought i would
#it was with a complete stranger
#im just in such a confusing relationship with ***
#about a week ago he asked me for exclusivity but he always assumes im dating anyone i talk about
#and he seems fine by that
#we arent in a comminted relationship but i feel so inlove with him
#but i wonder if i really am
#so basically what happened was a met this guy while walking my dog he was already a little drunk he had just gotten off work at a local
#restraunt and i was in my car smoking weed and he approached and asked if he could come in and smoke with me and i accepted
#he tried to kiss me twice and i rejected him and explained the situation with ***
#he kept being very pushy like touching me and stuff and im not going to act like i didnt know what i was doing because i did
#he invited me into his house to smoke more and i should have known to deny
#he didnt let me leave his house
#its so fucked because im stuck between feeling coherced but also knowing the situation i was putting myself into
#i didnt sleep last night and i had an 8 hour shift today im exhausted but im going to talk to *** in person about this
#i cant not tell him i cant keep thid from him and continue our relationship like normal its not right
#im fucking sick with guilt because i know that if i had just had a conversation with *** first then he probably would have let me
#i never pictured myself doing something like this ive been obsessing over it all day
#i have to be accountable for my own actions and owning up to what i did and being honest is the only way to go
#i definitely considered lieing about the reason and just stopping talkkng to ***
#but i cant bring myself to fo that i care about him too much
#which seens hypocritical because if i really cared i wouldnt have done this shit
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