#its so hard for me to beleive he actually done all of this after knowing for a while

[thesleepingb0dyb4g]

I've constaly thought about if my aunt would be im hevean or hell. it's very discourging to think abt hell bc its a place she despised so much and tried her damn hardest to protect me from. she instilled that fear in me from a very young age. its hard bc if I consider some things she done.. she would be considered a bad person. but she did it all for God. but just like my cousin r4ping me for over a year for God.. does it make it good? I mean according to my church he can be forgiven for it. sometimes I don't know what to beleive anymore. it all hurts. I want to prove their religion wrong but then their religion proves me right. proves to me that IM the one doomed in the end. why did God have to make my sister and is life like this. we don't deserve any of this shit. I didn't deserve to have to fucking hug my childhood abuser (it was traumatizing bc he always used to asks for a hugs to feel my body) and everyone watch and him say I love you and I have to be like "I love you too." litteraly after seeing my aunts dead body like. this only happened not even 3 years ago and it effects me so much like he did that on purpose. he did that bc he knows he will ALWAYS GET AWAY WITH IT NO MATTER WHERE THE FUCK HE IS ok I'm actually having such a bad breakdown ovr this like i need to stop or else I will drive myself fucking insane like wow.thiss is my fuckng life hahagsgshs

[demonizes-remade]

hmmmmm feeling depressed again

[heyitsmerose]

Ateez reaction to a fan with Smudged Lipstick (Maknae Line)

Okay, I decided to write an imagine that didn’t include y/n and the members being in a relationship, because that too unrealistic, but then again this isn’t any more realistic so I don’t really know. Okay also, I think I may be starting to run out of ideas, please send in your requests I’ll make sure to do all that I can! :)

Word Count: 2k

Genre: Fluff, Whump

Mature Language*

San: 

You couldn’t beleive your luck. You had been selected for one of the ‘82′ challenges that Ateez were featuring on, and as a lucky guest, they had to do your makeup. (Inspired by this video) You were living every atiny’s dream right now. You got to personally interact with Ateez, and they would be doing your makeup. To be honest, before applying to get this opportunity, you didn’t really know what it was going to be, after you found out they were doing your make up though, you started getting a little nervous. They would have to see your bare face and you were quite insecure. Although your skin was really clear, you had freckles and covered them up when you could so it would be hard for you to show the world your bare face. 

You were sitting and waiting in the studio for the first member and Hongjoong walked in. You tried your best to keep your composure only to fail miserably. Hongjoong looked at you directly, and you immediately felt shy covering your face. He noticed and removed your hands assuring you that you had no reason to feel shy. He was the first one, so he had to put foundation, this was the scariest part. He was going to have to stare at your face for very long. You got nervous and insecure and he seemed to notice how you covered your face whenever you got the opportunity. He asked you and you said you were insecure about your freckles, but he just gasped telling you not to worry as your bare face was pretty. Once he was done, he went back to the other room, he made sure to tell the rest of the members about your insecurity, so they could try to cheer you up. You definitely noticed the extra jokes they cracked and the compliments they gave you. 

Finally it was San’s turn and he was to apply lipstick. He picked a soft pink colour and you nodded at his choice. He then came very close to your face and began applying lipstick. He held your chin with his index finger and thumb as he slowly started applying it. He made the mistake of looking up into your eyes though, because as soon as he did, you both burst into laughter. This caused, his hand to shake and go off to the side, messing up your foundation. You heard the members yell from the other room, as you had only a certain amount of touches. He decided to fix it, by using his thumb, as technically that wouldn’t be counted as a touch, and he could adjust it as much as he wanted. He held your chin firmly, and licked his thumb, wiping the excess lipstick off the side of your mouth, you could feel his spit, and you turned bright red. You heard a bunch of loud hollers and ‘OHHH’s from the other room, presumably from the other members. San just giggled and continued fixing it. After a while, he was done, and the rest of them came in to see the final look. You however, couldn’t stop thinking about what San did, and your hand unintentionally flew up to your face to the place San wiped your lipstick. The other members noticed and teased you for getting so flustered, while San just rolled his eyes. It was safe to say that you’d remember this experience for the rest of your life. 

Mingi:

You were going to see Ateez, and had planned your outfit for months. To your surprise, you were able to get a limited ticket to one of their fan meets. You were excited and wanted everything to go perfectly. Except Of course, Something had to go wrong. They recently had a comeback and had a title track similar to ‘wave’, with the concept being similar to ‘One to All’, a bright summer concept. You decided to dress up similarly with a bright orange outfit and matching coral lipstick. You actually were one of the first people to get the tickets and so you arrived early, when not too many people were there. It was just you and maybe another 30-40 people. Finally it was your turn. Mingi was actually the second person in line and once you reached him your eyes lit up. Your bias was sitting right in front of you and you were starting to feel the emotions. Mingi held your hands and happily swayed them from side to side to match one of the songs playing. You just giggled. You were just talking calmly until one of the staff interrupted you. She informed you that you had just another 3-4 minutes left with Mingi. This was one of the advantages of being first, you got more time, but still 3-4 minutes would go by so fast and you were disappointed. You pouted, your top lip making contact with your nose. Mingi noticed and licked his thumb. He grabbed your face with his other hand and just openly wiped the bottom of your nose with his thumb. Your eyes widened and a blush crept on your face. Mingi didn’t see anything wrong in it and was unfazed, you on the other hand, were burning from embarrassment. You feared that something was on your face so you croaked out softly....

“What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” You whispered feeling embarrassed.

“No, no, no don’t worry, its just when you scrunched your face like this... Your lipstick got on your nose, it’s fine now though” He said, while scrunching his nose, showing you what you did. You just nodded trying to calm yourself down. How was he so unfazed by that? He just grabbed your face and wiped your face. After your time was up and you had to move on to the next member, the only thing on your mind though, was Mingi.

Wooyoung:

Ateez was doing a challenge in which they had to serve drinks at a cafe. They weren’t too popular at the moment, so they didn’t need to worry about security as they knew many people wouldn’t recognise them. Additionally, atinys were one of the most respectful fandoms in general, so they didn’t have to worry too much about that either. You were going to your usual cafe, only to realise that it was packed directors, camera men, etc. You thought that there was some movie shooting going on inside, so you decided to take a seat outside and wait a bit before placing your order. For a few minutes you were scrolling through your phone until you heard a voice approach you.

“Hello, miss! What can I get you today?” You furrowed your eyebrows, as the cafe didn’t have any waiters and was self service so you looked up, only to be greeted by your biggest celebrity crush. You gasped audibly, and your eyes widened. You moved a little farther from him, not wanting to invade his personal space. The second you gasped however, the biggest smile erupted on his face as he realised you were a fan. He then began to speak casually to you.

“Hi, beautiful, what’s your name?” He said flirtatiously, you knew it was apart of his idol tendencies to please his fans and everything, but you couldn’t help your heart fluttering. You bowed deeply, and he ushered you to pull down your mask so he could see your face. You were a bit insecure, so you slowly pulled down your mask. As soon as you did however, Wooyoung stepped in front of the cameras blocking you from them. You raised an eyebrow, but he just held a hand in front of your mouth, covering it, signing that your mask had smudged your lipstick. You nodded and thanked him turning away from him and fixing it quickly. You turned back around and he smiled moving away from the camera so you were in view too. 

“I’m Y/n and I’ll have my regular please” He raised his eyebrows and you corrected yourself.

“S-Sorry, I mean I’ll have a caramel macchiato” You said embarrassed he just chuckled and went back inside. The cameras followed him and you got a minute to chill. 

Reality was finally setting in, you just met THE Jung Wooyoung. 

Jongho:

Ateez was on the last leg of their world tour and were flying to your country. In fact, you were actually with your friend in Paris at the time, and had just watched their concert in Paris too. You didn’t know they were coming to your country, as it seemed that the last tour stop was surprise. If you would have known they were coming to your country, you would have never flown all the way to Paris. Either way, anything for Ateez. You were on your flight back to your country and got you and your friend business seats. The problem was that you had separate seats, on opposite sides of the plane. You had seat number 2a while she had 3d, how unlucky huh? You discussed trying to switch seats with the others when you got on the plane. You boarded the plane and a few minutes later, around 10 people walked into the plane and took their seats, with two of them attending to the other 8. One of them sat right next to you and you noticed all of them had hats and masks on. You noticed the opportunity as another one of them was sitting next to your friend, maybe they’d want to sit together and agree to switching seat, so you slowly asked.

“Excuse me, is it possible to switch seats by any chance? My friend is right behind us, on the other side, and I noticed one of your friends is there too, do you mind switching with my friend?” You said softly. He looked at you and you noticed those familiar eyes. It was fucking Jongho from Ateez. Your eyes widened but you said nothing, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable. He removed his mask and you saw his face clearly, trying your best not to break character, and remaining nonchalant. He just nodded and looked at your friend. You smiled widely and thanked him sincerely, waving to your friend with a big smile. He looked back at you and smiled and your heart almost exploded. You instantly stopped and blushed bright red. He just took his bag and walked to the other seat. Before leaving though, he looked back at you and motioned at his mouth, your hands flew to your lips and you looked at them noticing your bright red lipstick, you quickly bowed and thanked him, rushing back to your seat to fix your lipstick.

After the flight was over though, he did something surprising, as everyone was leaving the flight, he made sure to stand right behind you and he quickly slipped a piece of paper into your pocket. You acted as if you didn’t notice, but your heart was beating out of your chest. As soon as you entered the airport, you checked your pocket, while your friend was silently fan-girling. You opened the piece or paper only to realised he had slipped his autograph into your pocket. He must have realised you were a fan. Real smooth Jongho, real smooth.

[samsilver975]

Well, this is it boys. My final character analysis. Dream, Techno, and Tommy. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be skirting the word count here. Thank you to all of you who have been reblogging and liking the posts, it means a lot. That being said, because of the characters I’m going to be talking about and the weird split between Techno and Tommy viewers, I want to remind everyone that below are my own opinions and analyses. You are entitled to your own opinion. Well, let’s get this show on the road!

Dream:

One of the best things about the server is that there are no black and white characters. There are no good or evil, but verying degrees of gray. That said, Dream’s pretty close to black; he’s the closest we get to a main villain throughout the story. Dream’s been the underlying antagonist for a while, but I feel he’s taken a bigger role in this season. As far as I can tell, Dream’s got two motives: bringing the server together as one big family with no factions who he definitely doesn’t control, and prolonging the conflict with Tommy. Tommy is entertainment to him. Dream doesn’t want to give up the disks because then the story, Tommy’s story will end. I’m in the camp of beleiveing that if the disks return to Tommy, the plot line will essentially be over. Dream doesn’t want to part with his plaything just yet, but he can’t kill him either. After all, what happy family goes around killing its members? Horrible punishments? No! But emotional manipulation, is fine. That doesn’t just apply to Tommy: Dream manipulated Tubbo, Eret, Techno (to an extent. There’s a favor floating around still) among others. I think, if Tommy wins, Dream will be forced to either find a new plaything (I personally think Tubbo. L’Manburg is kind of Tubbo’s ‘disks’ in a way. Oh, I’m sorry, Snowchester) or he will have to kill Tommy. My speculation for tomorrow is that Tommy and Tubbo will defeat Dream, but Dream will snap and either call on Techno’s favor to in prison Tommy, or will just pull a god thing and kill Tommy outright. But that’s just a theory, a GAM-

Techno:

I’m very much a middle of the road sort of person. I pretty much watched or partially watched everyone’s perspective (from except Phil’s sorry) on Doomsday, and since then I try to catch both Techno’s and Tommy’s when they are streaming. Why do I say this? Well, you’re going to notice that I am not going to make a clear decision on who I support. I’ll try my best to keep these last two as unbiased as possible...

I’ll start by saying that Techno is... strange to me. I can’t tell if I really like his character, or hate it. I’ll begin with the negatives, I think. I don’t like how Techno points to everyone betraying him instantly. Tommy did use him for supplies and shelter and what have you, but something I find people don’t consider is that Techno used Tommy too. Tommy said over and over he wasn’t going to blow up L’Manburg, and time and time again Techno brushed Tommy aside. Techno forced Tommy to choose between a lifelong friend who’d made a mistake and been manipulated, and someone who barely deigned themselves to respect him. I saw people were really surprised by Tommy choosing Tubbo, but... was it all that unexpected. That’s not to say Techno was unjustified. He did extend his hand to Tommy, only for it to be batted away, and maybe he meant well, but he was kind of an ass to Tommy. It wasn’t manipulation like Dream did, but he did use Tommy to help him gather supplies and get into L’Manburg and what have you. I guess the real thing that defines the dislike side of things is that Techno really doesn’t try to see from other’s perspectives. He tends to take a ‘my way or the high way’ approach. Also... I don’t really know how to feel about the syndicate. I can’t tell as of yet if it is truly as open as Techno made it out to be.

Alright, Techno’s good things. A lot of Techno’s actions were justified. I feel like L’Manburg waaaaay overreacted, and Techno’s anger was extremely justified. L’Manburg, for all of its good intentions, was corrupt. It needed to fall. (The builder in me would have just preferred a coup or disbandment or something, not a chunk error, but I guess what happens happens not like you can fix anything now.) I still think Technos story will continue beyond this season. He’s still got people he needs to take down. I don’t think Tommy’s on that list actually. I mean... he didn’t kill him on sight today, and he let Tommy say goodbye so...? Either way, there are still people that need to be taken down. I feel kind of bad for Eret tbh. It’s gonna be a bumpy road for him, even if he means well. Techno also was right to be angry at Tommy. They betrayed each other, in a way. Their alliance was as doomed as L’Manburg.

Tommy:

Our protagonist. Our ‘hero.’

Like Techno, I feel there are good and bad things to be said about Tommy’s character. Unlike Techno, Tommy’s character both changed and didn’t change at the same time. I noticed a lot of people saying that ‘Tommy is so immature,’ or ‘why doesn’t he just give up the disks he didn’t change at all,’ or whatnot. My response to this is: Tommy did not have a chance to develop. He spent the season being tormented by Dream, then dragged into the anarchists where he didn’t really have a say. Why did he ‘betray’ Techno? It was all Tommy knew. He’d been betrayed over and over again himself. Tommy, for so, so long, did not experience any sort of support. Tubbo exiled him, Dream nearly destroyed him, Techno didn’t listen, and Tommy? Tommy didn’t know what to think because not once did anyone care about what he had to say, until it was much too late.

For of all his stagnation though... Tommy did change. And it all comes down to one line. “The disks are more important then you ever were.” I’m that moment, Tommy realized that somewhere in exile, or somewhere in the tundra, he’d lost some sort of humanity. In the same way that Quackity realized how much like Schlatt he was, Tommy realized how blind he’d been by his want of the disks. He was willing to give up his own best friend for material wealth. He betrayed Techno because he realized that Tubbo was more important. Ever since then, Tommy has been a bit more attentive to other people. He apologizes to Tubbo and Connor. He offers IOU’s to people, which doesn’t seem like a big deal, but would old Tommy have done that? But then, why continue to go after the disks? Well, something changed in that motive to. Before, Tommy wanted the disks back because, “The disks were mine and he stole them from me.” He wanted them back because having them stolen was an insult that needed repaying. Now though, I think Tommy wants them back because he truly believes that it would solve conflict. He doesn’t want them back for himself anymore, he wants them back because that’s the only way to achieve peace. Whether that is true or not, I can’t say. I also saw a lot of people wondering ‘why the disks. Why were they so important to him in the first place?’ The disks represent the good old days. When it was just a server playing Minecraft. Before L’Manburg and Techno and Wilbur and hto dog vans and exiles, before everything. That’s why they are so important to him. They represent memories. Peace. Happiness Tommy hasn’t felt since then. It’s why it’s so hard for him to let them go. Letting them go would be letting the memories go; letting the people attached to those memories go. Tommy is trapped in the past. I by no means support the obsession, nor do I find it justifiable... but it is understandable.

Let’s see... I already touched on why Tommy left Techno... so let’s finish off with some interesting things that Tommy has learned. As awful as Dream was to him, Tommy learned somthing very important from him. Sentiment is a weapon and a bargaining chip. He secures Sapnap’s Loyalty by returning Mars, Sapnap’s ‘disks’, an item of sentiment to him. I also think of the pair, Tommy is better equipped to let L’Manburg fade then Tubbo. If Tommy succeeds, I wonder what will happen. And does loosing mean dying. Tommy thinks it does, but loosing to Dream could mean many different things. The battle tomorrow will not be so straightforward as Tommy seems to think. We wait with bated breath. For some dark levity at the end of it all. If Tommy wins, Niki’s gonna off ‘im anyway so...

Thanks for reading! If you made it all the way down here, kudos. I hope you enjoyed. I hope to post more in the future, not only DreamSMP, but other fandoms as well. I’ll see you all later!

[interestray]

 I finally have the time and patience to talk about the last couple episodes of Critical Role.

SPOILER ALERT- I’m bringing up stuff from ep 118 to 120 you’ve been warned

every so often critical role has an episode come up that I don’t like watching, ep 118 was like that for me all the ruin stuff and them getting ahead of the tombtakers made me anxious and then the stuff happening on twitter the next day didn’t help with my mood. thankfully 119 and 120 were pretty fun.

ok now down to business I’m gonna split the things standing out to me into three different categories starting with wtf is with that floating city-

The city in the astral sea terrifies me like when we first heard about it in Cad’s divine intervention vision but Jester’s vision made me feel like it’s an actual threat to exandria. I really want to know what happened in Aore (I still don’t know how to spell it) like the drama must have been amazing. 

Ever since it was revealed that Molly/Lucien was up and walking I have been of the opinion that hes not evil mainly because nothing we were seeing pointed at him being evil. I still don’t think Lucien is evil, like the city is completely evil but we still don’t know how much the tombtakers know about what they’re trying to release. I personally think they don’t, I think they know about the minds being a hive basically but the full extent of this thing consuming everything around it welll I think they wouldn’t want that. from everything they have said it seems like they expect to still have a world after their mission.

I worry about the pull this city seems to have on people like maybe it’s just the usual thing of people getting a hard on for forbidden knowledge but if it’s not then shit I can think of some wizards that shouldn’t be anywhere near this thing.

ok now for category 2 Molly and Lucien stuff-

I’m a firm beleiver of Molly still being a person who is reacting to whats happening while inside Lucien’s mind, I talked a bit about the disconnect of how Lucien acts towards the m9 (which btw I thought it might happen because of talking in face vs from a distance but my friend pointed out that almost everytime it happened they had connected to Lucien through magic) everything we’ve seen of Lucien says he doesn’t like traitors and it doesn’t take too much for him to see someone as an enemy, but he’s giving the m9 another chance? why? what have they done that’s making him hesitate and try to convince them not to start a fight? 

Speaking of Lucien trying to get the M9 to cooperate did he seem a little desperate to anyone else? like he was obviously getting annoyed with some of the party (fjord, Veth, and Beau) but there was this air of “please just trust me!” coming from him and I wonder if it’s because his trust in the tombtakers is low. I don’t know if I said it in my last posts but I think the Hive mind (I know its not actually hive mind) thing with them is something Lucien did after he was revived because he wanted to make sure they couldn’t betray him. I’m really excited to see what the tombtakers are like in the next episode so I can see if they’re being shady towards Lucien (cree is different I understand why she wouldn’t like the m9).

I’m worried about Lucien feeling strangely cold and tired like past the point of them being in the tundra something is going on with him and I have theory's on why but I need more info.

finally the M9 and friends-

the beauyasha moment in 120 was adorable! I loved watching them awkwardly set up a first date, I’m more of a beaujester and yasha x jester shipper but it was still really cute to see and I’m hoping they get to have their date and that it goes well. the fjorjester stuff is a little more complicated, like I said in a previous post its not my cup of tea and I don’t think it works with how they are right now as people. What I think might happen is they have a relationship for a few sessions then they break up and that would be interesting to see, I would like to see a story where a first relationship doesn’t work out and they break up mutually and maybe later end up with other people. I am really happy that travis was able to do stuff outside of his comfort zone (I honestly would not be surprised if Fjord didn’t end up with anyone this campaign same with jester). I saw a lot of people talking about how Caleb might act upon finding out about them being a thing and that it might be some big reaction but I don’t know why, like he said it was a useless love that he wasn’t gonna pursue and that he was being a wingman for fjord and beau. My boi is hurting but I think it will be a brief thing, really painful but short I think he and his relationships with the other characters will be fine.

I mentioned it earlier that I think this floating city has a weird pull on people and how worrying that is, pair that with Essek and Caleb both having instances of lusting after knowledge and I’m worried. I know Beau and Caleb talked about how they can’t trust Essek with the full scope of whats happening but I hope someones keeping an eye on caleb as well.

At this point I have no clue if Veth doesn’t respect other peoples boundaries or if she just doesn’t register them because I’m so annoyed with her fucking with other peoples business. her attitude towards Caleb’s relationships (she’s like an overbearing mother), her messing with the communication between jester and the traveler, and now bulldozing over Beau and Yasha when they were telling her to but out and listen to what they were saying. seriously for like the first 50ish episodes of critical role Fjord was my least favorite party member but its been Nott/Veth for a while now.

the last thing I’m gonna talk about is how big of a problem this city is for the mighty nine if they try to take care of it themselves, this thing seems to consume everything they need to let the bright queen or someone know about this. this is bigger than empire/dynasty drama, I'm hoping that they make friends with the tombtakers or let essek know about this because frankly they’re severely outmatched and out of their depth with this stuff.   

[gunmetalgrey-trashpile]

SMS [ bucky ] : for @diabolicaltendencies​

SMS [ bucky ] : oi what the actual fuck is a bucky SMS [ august 📷 ] : my name who is this?

SMS [ bucky ] : who the fuck names their kid bucky SMS [ august 📷 ] : nickname where's august? SMS [ bucky ] : are you a deer or something im asking the questions here mr stag man SMS [ august 📷 ] : it's short for something you're texting me on his phone, so i think im okay asking SMS [ bucky ] : think again he’s busy or whatever SMS [ august 📷 ] : okay ill believe that for now SMS [ bucky ] : doing camera stuff idk changing lenses ??? SMS [ august 📷 ] : okay yeah that sounds like him so who are you? SMS [ bucky ] : what’s it short for Ur worst nightmare a concerned friend of Auggies SMS [ august 📷 ] : buchanan great auggie???? seriously? SMS [ bucky ] : dead serious buchanan so you’re a friend then? SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah SMS [ bucky ] : or should I keep scrolling up SMS [ august 📷 ] : hey why don't you find out you're the one snooping, its not my fault if you see something you dont like SMS [ bucky ] : if that’s a dare you might have just won points with me SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah its a dare SMS [ bucky ] : how do you know Auggie SMS [ august 📷 ] : we met at a tank exhibit in new york SMS [ bucky ] : well that’s one hell of a meet cute SMS [ august 📷 ] : he was interested, i knew things and then i showed him around the city so he could be a nerd with his camera SMS [ bucky ] : Yknow sounds fair I believe that you know NY? SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah im from there SMS [ bucky ] : a yank??? gross minus a point ur back at 0 that where u live now SMS [ august 📷 ] : ouch i didnt discriminate against you or him for being brits maybe now i should yeah i live there now too SMS [ bucky ] : who said I was a Brit SMS [ august 📷 ] : that'd be telling it's a guess given that he said where he was SMS [ bucky ] : telling is the point of this whole interview pal ur still loosing points here SMS [ august 📷 ] : i dont know much about you either SMS [ bucky ] : start talking u might get as far as in person harrassment mynameisuntoldToday at 00:57 could be interesting SMS [ bucky ] : but you are correct, it’s I, the terrifying older brother Sebastian Moran here to intimidate you SMS [ august 📷 ] : the prime minister isnt going to be texting me SMS [ bucky ] : I have it on good authority the prime minister recieves dick pics so shut the fuck up Yankee Doodle whatever SMS [ august 📷 ] : see now thats conflicting information which one are you actually SMS [ bucky ] : well well well what’s ur options Narrow it down Buck mc buckface SMS [ august 📷 ] : the other sebastian, severin, moira, alex, jasper, probably not the other sebastian, severin, or moira jasper's nice so im guessing alex? im assuming you're a moran SMS [ bucky ] : big assumption SMS [ august 📷 ] : august has a big family SMS [ bucky ] : but look at you dropping all the names do u SMS [ august 📷 ] : i get reports from time not really SMS [ bucky ] : and where did you think he was/is SMS [ august 📷 ] : august? all i knew was england because of the last picture i got SMS [ bucky ] : Auggie mynameisuntoldToday at 01:04 yeah sure SMS [ bucky ] : how long have you known him SMS [ august 📷 ] : a little while ill have to think just over a year i think? SMS [ bucky ] : that fuckers has know you a YEAR when did this start SMS [ august 📷 ] : we met last september if i remember correctly and yeah he has i mean its not like hes here all the time so its been every so often throughout the year SMS [ bucky ] : this explains the air miles whatever not the point mr deer SMS [ august 📷 ] : do you keep a close eye on them?? whats the point? SMS [ bucky ] : what do u do for a living hey IM the one asking questions here I’m the PM SMS [ august 📷 ] : sure you are i fix cars SMS [ bucky ] : That’s why it’s called PRIME MINISTERS QUESTIONS ooooooooooooo What kinda cars SMS [ august 📷 ] : any kind that's broken i dont pay attention to your politics, you know SMS [ bucky ] : do u like cars mynameisuntoldToday at 01:10 yeah SMS [ bucky ] : lol neither do i SMS [ august 📷 ] : sure you dont SMS [ bucky ] : Running the country is hard enough Ain’t gonna listen to people whine about it do u like cats SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah theyre fine SMS [ bucky ] : wrong answer buckaroo SMS [ august 📷 ] : is there something wrong with cats? SMS [ bucky ] : i feel like I must be on at least -50 by now SMS [ august 📷 ] : if i had a pet, itd be a dog if that makes you feel better SMS [ bucky ] : cats are the WORST it doesn’t but maybe that’s -49 SMS [ august 📷 ] : fair enough clearly you take this interrogation seriously SMS [ bucky ] : what did you get Auggie for his bday SMS [ august 📷 ] : i think we just hung out a bit and went exploring. showed him a spot he hadnt seen before SMS [ bucky ] : lame what do you plan on getting him for xmas if you make it that far SMS [ bucky ] : might have MI6 murder you if you lose any more points SMS [ august 📷 ] : I don’t know enough about camera stuff, but probably something like that Though he’ll get that before or after since he spend Xmas over there okay 007 sounds good SMS [ bucky ] : when are you seeing him next ive got to visit the ompa loompa one more time before he leaves office SMS [ august 📷 ] : I think he might come by when he’s done there with you one more time? SMS [ bucky ] : maybe he’ll get out of NYE if he does ill kill him SMS [ august 📷 ] : I’d like it better if you didn’t SMS [ bucky ] : yknow Diplomatic stuff SMS [ august 📷 ] : oh right SMS [ bucky ] : awwww aint u a romantic SMS [ august 📷 ] : I forgot we were pretending you were your other cousin yeah well it’s been known to happen SMS [ bucky ] : oi not pretending i am special sebastian moron SMS [ august 📷 ] : that’s why I got doubts SMS [ bucky ] : owner of the uk or whatever SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah sure SMS [ bucky ] : Mr stag man what is your idea of an ideal date SMS [ august 📷 ] : why do you want to know? I’m not picky - dinner and then wandering around is always nice SMS [ bucky ] : so I can tell my agents to do that before they kill you what kind of dinner SMS [ august 📷 ] : interesting italian’s good? though there’s also a good Greek place SMS [ bucky ] : What are your thoughts on like stew n stuff do you cook what are your thoughts on life and the universe and our place in it DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS SMS [ august 📷 ] : stew is good i do cook and i can bake but dont do it much thats too philosophical for me the universe is what it is and im not gonna question it too hard i dont beleive in ghosts which i get the feeling you do SMS [ bucky ] : why not good you loose too much time trying to figure it out +1 point to you buckster -1 for the ghosts they will get you i should know i'm ruler of great britain SMS [ august 📷 ] : that evens out to 0 points I feel like your grading is a little harsh So you’re the queen now?? SMS [ bucky ] : not when you're already on -48 or something mynameisuntoldToday at 17:14 yeah like i said, harsh grading SMS [ bucky ] : well if he's worth it you'll have to try harder m8 SMS [ august 📷 ] : ill try to win you over as best i can at least SMS [ bucky ] : my approval is expensive SMS [ august 📷 ] : bribes now? SMS [ bucky ] : hope u brought cash SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah well if it's paid entry ill just have to skip your approval SMS [ bucky ] : i'm government u should know im corrupt SMS [ august 📷 ] : i guess i should SMS [ bucky ] : what do u think of authority SMS [ august 📷 ] : but since youre not government is there another way to earn your approval? what the fuck kind of question is that SMS [ bucky ] : are u calling me a liar? -49 SMS [ august 📷 ] : im calling you definitely not the prime minister im not about to start any revolutions but i dont think you have to always respect authority how about that SMS [ bucky ] : boring SMS [ august 📷 ] : ouch SMS [ bucky ] : have u ever been arrested dont lie to me i can look it up SMS [ august 📷 ] : juvenile records are sealed SMS [ bucky ] : not if ur prime minister SMS [ august 📷 ] : suuuuuure well anyway it was tresspassing mostly SMS [ bucky ] : who what when where why

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather: Chapter 12: You’re Invited, But Your Friends Can’t Come

August 1985

It was My Bazzar Magazine Fashion New York Shoot today and I was very excited. I never thought I would get to this point. My Sports Illustrated Magazine shoot gave me more opportunities. I was getting more calls to do more magazines and more calls for movie auditions next year. I was making more money then I could imagine, and Tamara was over the moon with how I was presenting my self.

Speaking of Tamara, she had no clue about what happened with me when I went out with the Motley boys. And I wasn't planning on telling her.

"Hey girl you ready for your shoot?" Lisa asks walking into my change room.

"Just about." I smile.

"Don't smile." The glam team states as there doing my make up.

"Sorry."

I was finally done and I was ready to go. I looked amazing. I walked over to Lisa who was holding a camera. She wanted to take a picture with me. And I was happy to. We walked out of the room and into the hall. She looked like she wanted to say something but was a bit hesitant to.

"What's wrong Lisa?" I stopped her and asked.

"Its nothing it's just.... I haven't heard from Vince since the after party and.. I mean.... well... he told me he would call me." She shrugs.

I should have told Lisa this is how they behave. They sleep with girls and take off. You can't expect a real relationship to come from any one of them. Not even Tommy who is gaga over Heather.

"Look I'm going to take my pictures and then when Im done we'll talk more about this." I continued walking.

"Ok. It could probably be because Nikki got you high and drunk. Maybe that's why he's avoiding me." She crossed her arms.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at Lisa with wide eyes. What did she mean by Nikki got me high and drunk.

"Wait Nikki said I drank too much punch that had whiskey in it." I stated.

"You did buuuut when you were alittle tipsy he gave you brownies that had weed in it. And then got you high and took you to the bar and ordered you cranberry juice and jack. And that got you drunk." She giggled. "I thought he told you."

My breathing started to get heavy. I should have known that he would do that. And what makes it worse is that he was busy calling the hotel begging to speak me. And I let his call come through and spoke to him. He was talking casually to me like he didn't do a single thing. Every time I think he's a good guy something always comes up to tell me other wise. I even went as far as to thank him for taking care of me while I was drunk. Not knowing that he was the one that actually got me to that point.

"Mani....Mani." Lisa hit my shoulder.

"Sorry I'm good let's just go." I continued walking out to the set. I was to be taking a picture beside a white stallion in a barn area of some sort out side. I felt agitated and annoyed. I was suppose to be focusing on this shoot but instead I was focused on how much I was starting to hate Nikki. And hate is a strong word that we should not be using. But I'm using it, and it's being used on Nikki Sixx.

"Alright Miss Darlington grab the horse." The photographer shouted. I grabbed the horse with thoughts of Nikki in my head. Is there a reason why he didn't tell me that he was the one that got me drunk. Questions were running through my mind and I needed answers.

"Alright that's a wrap". The photographer shouted.

I headed towards my dressing room and just sat there looking at my self in the mirror.

Nikki Sixx equals trouble. ________

September 25, 1985

I have been waiting for this week to come by and it is finally here. New York fashion week. It was being held in Manhattan at the skylight Clarkson Square. I already booked 15 shows and was paid a lot of money for it. I walked down the aisle with my head held high owning it. Tamara actually cried, I was shocked. But she was so happy to see me up there.

My whole family showed up for the show. And also some friends. I called Slash and his family to see if they could come but unfortunately he wasn't able too. However he did have some good news for me. He found a band in July. He was trying to get a hold of me but I was so busy it was hard for us to talk. I think the bands name is Guns N Roses. He told me that they were playing in LA at clubs like the Whisky a Go Go, Trabadour, and The Roxy. After im finished in New York I'll head down to LA to check out there gig. I'm very happy for him.

Also Motley Crues Theater of pain album has been climbing to the top of the charts. So much for Vince saying that the album sucked. Speaking of Vince, I invited him to come and watch me walk my first runway. But not just for that, today was the last day of fashion week. But it's also my Birthday, and I'm having a party well actually a dinner. Vince agreed not to tell the other guys seeing as my family was here and I didnt want anything bad to happen. My mom really liked Vince. It turns out that Vince was quite the charmer. My sisters even liked him. Me and Vince agreed not to say anything about Vince being in the band Motley Crue.... for now. We settled on him being Lisa's date. And yes I got Vince to call Lisa, I felt really bad. But is it weird that I was starting to like Vince..... a lot.

As for Nikki he called and tried to talk to me but I confronted him and ended up hanging the phone on his lying behind. He's been calling non stop after that leaving crazy messges. Personally, I think he's psychotic. He should have just told the truth. But knowing him, its always lies that come out of his mouth. And I wasn't going to beleive a single thing he had to say.

We ate dinner and everyone got along well. I finally had somthing go right... for now. _______

October 18, 1985, Toronto Canada

12:00 pm

A couple days after my first runway and birthday I headed home for a bit of a much needed break. Especially because I was doing interview after interview and commercials. Me and my sisters just got back from shopping we bought alot of things, well I bought alot of things. Just to have some sister time felt so good. Since I became famous we haven't spent alot of time with each other so it was nice going out.

We started taking our clothes out of our shopping bags and trying them on.

"This dress is really nice I should wear it when we go out some time." I looked over at Selena she's the oldest but shes really short. She put on a short blue dress and it really looked nice on her.

"I think so too. I like this skirt and top." I say putting the clothing on the bed matching them together. "You guys care too much about what you wear it's annoying." Felicia my younger sister is a tom boy she likes wearing mostly T-shirts and sweat pants. Where as Selena and I like dressing up. Maya the youngest was 2 so we usually dressed her up.

"Iman phone!" My mom yelled.

"Who is it?" I asked

"Vince!"

I ran to go get the phone. "Vince hey what's up!"

"Hey Mani, guess what?"

"What?" I said,

"Motley Crue is in Toronto baby!"

He shouted with excitment. I thought he was joking but when I looked and saw the number on the phone. I realized it was a number at one of the hotels downtown.

"No way, oh my God we have to chill."

"Hell yeah we do girl. So uuuuh can you call up some of your friends and come down to the Maple Leaf Gradens show today?"

"Is that where you guys are playing?"

"Yeah you should come watch us. This show is gonna be fucking crazy!"

"Considering what happened last time when I went to go see you guys in New York and ended up a drunk mess in Nikki's room. I think it would be a great idea to pass on that. I can meet you before the show and we can go out. I know some really fun places."

"Oh yeah sorry about that."

"We'll talk more when I see you, what hotel are you staying at?"

"The Hilton. Meet me there for about 4."

"Sounds great."

"Listen I didnt-"

(Loud yelling)

"Hello, hello, Vince?" All I could hear was loud yelling and the phone being hit around.

"Hello.... Vince?"

"Mani?"

I can't even tell you how fast I dropped the phone. It was Nikki. And I had no intention of speaking to him. ________

3:15 pm

I called up some of my friends and we drove down to the Hilton. My crew was Mia, Ashley, and Anna. We met in elementary school and stayed friends. They have always been there for me. We had other friends but us four were the tightest. We were ride or dies. They were so excited to meet Vince. My friends are like me but a bit worse. I won't lie they're very judgemental divas and would never settle for less. Oh like me, so never mind. I told them about the rest of the Motley boys. But they weren't interested in them especially because of the way they looked. We finally made it to the hotel and I called Vince from downstairs.

"Hey there sugar!" Vince shouted.

"Hey Vince!" I shouted back. I ran and gave him a big hug. We both walked backed to my friends. They started giggling and smiling as if me and Vince were a couple.

"My friend Mia drove so were going to go in her car and go to this wings place." I smiled.

Vince put his arm around me and smiled with all teeth. "That sounds great sweetheart."

"Yeah that does sound great." We heard a voice behind us and we all turned around. It was Nikki and Tommy.

"Oh h..hey guys. Uh we were just heading out." Vince said in a nervous voice. Nikki was glaring at me. It was a look that I couldn't even read. But I knew he was angry. And so was Tommy.

"Hope we can join you. I mean we weren't invited." Tommy snorted and glared at us.

"Theres no room in my car. It only seats five people sorry." Mia stated and smirked at Tommy.

"Sweety we don't need your cheap car we have limos. Were rockstars." Nikki and Tommy pushed passed us and walked out.

This was going to be a very chaotic afternoon. ______

We arrived at Wings Palace and everyone ordered what they wanted. The boys were so loud and ordered alot of alcohol. They started getting very rowdy and people were staring at us. Some were disapproving of them while others were taking pictures of us. Young fans came over to ask for autographs and some girls would even go as far as to ask them to sign there breasts. And I mean lift up there shirts right there with no bra. Yuk.

"So why the fuck weren't we invited out hmm?" Tommy asked looking at me.

"Uh well..... I didn't know if you wanted to come." I scratched my head. Wow Iman great lie Tommy's down for anything.

"I smell a bullshitter." Nikki snorted looking at me.

"What ever Nikki." I rolled my eyes. Nikki sat right beside me in the booth he was on the right I was in the middle and Mia on my other side. Vince sat across, he was in the middle Anna on his right and Ashley on his left he had both arms around them. They were in heaven. Tommy sat in chair pulled up to the table.

"So Vince what's it's like being a Rock Star. I see the whole bad boys behaviour on TV but you honestly don't look the type." Ashley smiled.

"Pfft." Nikki snorted "Vince is just as bad as us."

"Probably, but he looks better that's for sure." Anna cooed.

"Why cause he's a blonde hair bitch." Tommy and Nikki laughed.

"Y'know jealousy dosen't look good on you two." Ashley sneered.

"Neither does your hair cut." Nikki laughed.

I turned and glared at Nikki. "knock it off." I hissed.

"Fuck off." He said flipping me off.

"Here are your wings boys." The server said as she brought our wings. She looked over at Nikki and smiled.

"Thank you bye now." I shooed her away.

"Jealous are we." Nikki smirked.

"I would never be jealous of a girl that wanted to talk to you." I snorted.

"You know Iman at one point I actually thought you were a cool chick, but seeing as you didn't even want me and Sixx around to meet your stiff friends I think your a fucking bitch." Tommy says waving his hands at me.

"Wow real classy I can see why she didn't invite you two losers." Mia said as she bit a wing.

"Fuck you stupid cunt!" Nikki shouted throwing wings at Mia.

"Nikki stop!" I shouted.

"Get these losers out of here. You think because your rockstars you can talk to people any how you want!" Mia shouted.

"Ok woah guys now calm down." Vince raised his hands up.

"This is why I didnt invite you two. Everytime I go out with you two something always happens. Your either drunk or high or both!" I yelled and pushed Nikki out of the booth.

Nikki got up and thrashed the table throwing all the food to the floor and spilling the drinks every where on everyone.

"Fuck you bitches! I heard you were hear and I wanted to say sorry for what I did last time!" He gestured to me. "But I change my mind, you deserved to look like a drunken whore at that party!" Nikki yelled in my face.

My eyes went wide. I didn't know whether I wanted to slap him across the face or kill him. Instead, I got out of the booth and ran out of the building. I had enough of this guy and I wasn't going to put up with him any longer.

"Iman wait!" Nikki shouted and ran after me.

I picked up my pace and ran faster with tears filling my eyes and running down my cheeks. I didnt want to see any one, I just wanted to get as far away from them as possible. I ran straight inside the downtown Library were I knew I wouldn't be found.

"Iman!" Nikki shouted, or I thought I wouldn't be found. I ran up the stairs and stood in the corner of the library. Taking my hands and rubbing my wet face.

"God Nikki just leave me alone!" I shouted.

"No!" He shouted back.

"Shh" we were both startled by the librarian who came over to us "This is a quiet library not a place for you guys to be yelling. You can do that outside." The librarian hissed. We both looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

"Please just leave me alone Nikki." I whispered.

"No." He argues. "Not until you hear me out." I rolled my eyes.

"Look princess I fucked up at the party when I got you drunk ok and I'm sorry. I didn't tell you because... because I knew if I did you would never speak to me again. And I didn't want that for us."

I sighed."Nikki I would rather you tell me the truth than lie in my face. It makes me wonder what else you actually lie about."

"Ok you want to talk truth. Well why did you invite Vince to your first runway and Birthday? You didn't even tell me, Tommy, or fucking Mick about it? What kind of bullshit is that?" Nikki raised his voice turning me to face him.

I should kill Vince for saying anything to them. I told him not to and now I have to answer for it.

"Well me and Vince became close we talk now and then. I tell him about things I'm doing and he tells me about the things he's doing." I say looking at my feet. I looked back up and Nikki and he just had a sad expression on his face.

"And you can't do that with me? That's what your basically trying to say right?"

"No Nikki I cant! And I don't want to!" I said that with a harsh tone. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt my feelings back at Wings Palace and for every other place he had hurt me. But when I looked into his eyes he looks like he could cry right now. And I felt a bit guilty for what I said. Until his face changed into the angry Nikki I was used to seeing.

"Fine fuck you then!" He snapped and walked away.

I met back up with my friends and we hung around later then I expected. We stayed for the show which turned out to be great. I had to call my mom from the arena so she wouldn't freak out. But she wanted me home anyways. We said our goodbyes to Vince and Mick. Tommy and Nikki ignored me and my friends. So that was a great night. Not!

_____ 3.22 am

I was in my room sleeping when all of a sudden a car horn started going off outside and someone started screaming my name at the top of their lungs. It was probably a crazy fan. All the lights went on and everyone ran out of their rooms and headed to the front door. I looked out the door and..oh my God it was Nikki. He was smiling drunkenly at me with his Jack Daniel's bottle in his hand. He was still in his stage clothes and he looked like a mess. Tommy was with him grabbing him trying to get him back in the car. How the hell did they know where I lived.

"Oh there look T bone! Awww theres my princess! Look how fucking beautiful you are!" Nikki slurred.

I moved and hid behind the door so he wouldnt see me again. I can't believe this guy came here like this. I'm so embarrassed.

"No! Mani baby please I'm sorry. I just...I'm a mess!" He slurred and fell on the ground with his bottle spilling.

"Who is this man?" My mom yelled "call security right now and get these dirty drunks off my property now!" My demanded. "Get off my property or I'll call the cops!" She yelled in there direction.

"Look im really sorry I'll take him home please don't call the cops!" Tommy shouted back.

"Mani baby just wait for me please. I'll get my shit together I promise! Just dont break yours!" Nikki shouted as Tommy picked him up and through him in the back of the car.

"I'm really sorry!" Tommy shouted and waved. He got in his car and drove off.

My mom shut the door and looked at me with a straight face. "Start talking now!" She shouted at me.

"I don't... I don't know those guys." I said with a hesitant voice.

"Do not lie in my face. Cause if I find out that your involved with any guy. You are done with your career. Especially if he looks like that pile of junk outside! They look like a bunch of leather head rock stars! Well not for my daughter! You will get a good Catholic man!" My mom pointed in my face.

"I don't know him, it happens in LA a lot when I'm on the streets." I whispered. I was terrified of my mom. I felt like I was about to pee in my pants when she gave me that look. The sweat was drizzling down my face and in my Pitts. My breathing was heavy and I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Good for nothing rock star junkies is what they are." She walked away and my sisters looked at me then walked upstairs to there room. I hated lying to my mom, but this lie had to be told.

I walked up to my room and I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. I thought about the promise that I made to Nikki. A promise that unfortunately I would have to break. My mom would never accept Nikki. Even if I ended up falling in love with someone like him. She could never accept him for all his chains and leather.

[goat-yells-at-everything]

Final Thoughts: The Witch

*SIGH*

I didn't hate it.

I wanted to hate it. I use to hate it.

I didn't hate it.

I didn't even hate William as a character as much as I use to. Still hate Ineson, though.

My Bias

Let me start off with my bias. If you couldn't tell by now, I love goats. What originally drew me to The Witch that day in Family Video (not sponsored) was, of course, the goat on the cover. After watching the movie I did some reading on it and the VAST majority of coverage about the movie was about Black Phillip. "Fine by me!" I thought. "I'd rather read about the only star that matters here anyway!"

And that's how I learned of Charlie. Charlie was a beautiful black buck with gorgeous piercing golden eyes. There isn't much base information about him but from my own research and knowledge, I beleive Charlie is an Old Irish. Funny enough, the striking horns that earned Charlie his place in the movie because of how large they were are not actually that big by Old Irish standards. These boys can grow some IMPRESSIVE racks. *cough* 

Charlie was not the most dedicated actor on set. If they wanted him to be boisterous and act aggressive, Charlie wanted to take a nap. If they wanted him to hold still and display the calm demeanor of The Devil, Charlie wanted to run around like a kid discovering his legs for the first time. This description didn't shock me in the least. "Thats...thats just a goat?" I thought. "Thats just how they ARE." Goats are like...well, goats are unique animals. While even a cat can be trained with enough patience and the right reward, goats are wonderfully intelligent and MIND NUMBINGLY STUPID animals all at the same time. You look into their eyes and you see the infinite knowledge of the universe AND the mindless empty void AT THE SAME TIME. That is just the nature of the domestic goat. So of course you will never have a goat do what you want it to on the first, second, or even tenth try. If you work with goats in any way, you just need to accept this.

So Charlie, this incredibly intelligent and extremely stupid animal, was on a set of a movie where He was the antagonist in the minds of the characters, actors, and crew. Charlie could have been just fine on the set if the actors had kept their animosity to filming sessions, and most of them did just that. Most of the actors and crew were, at worst, neutral towards Charlie when not actively filming a scene with him. Most of the actors.

Ineson was not among them. Ineson is quoted as saying "From the moment we set eyes on each other it was just kind of hate at first sight." Now, because of their vast infinite nothingness in their heads, goats really aren't capable of "hate at first sight," but they CAN sense animosity from others towards them. Like when your cat knows that your dad hates cats. They just know. So you have an incredibly intelligent moron that weighs just over 200lbs looking at this imposing angry man that was Ralph Ineson and he knows the man does not like him and Ineson has decided that every action Charlie makes is just to spite him, specifically.

It was not the best paring...

By the 4th day of filming, Ineson reported that he was on pain killers for the remainder of the 5-week shoot.

The thing was, the rest of the actors and crew (aside from Eggers but he was trying to direct a goat in a movie so he gets a little leeway) actually recall how sweet and wonderful Charlie was. Anya Taylor-Joy has said that the shoot was a "beautiful" experience. Anna Kilch, a veteran animal trainer, said Charlie was a dream to work with.

So I'm not the biggest fan of Ineson...

The Movie

With that said, what did I think about the movie?

It was...not horrible. In fact, if I put aside my own animosity towards Ineson, it was pretty ok. There are PROBLEMS, no doubt about that, but it was decent.

The Good

The atmosphere was beautiful. It was shot in a quaint little bit of nowhere in Northern Ontario. Pretty sure they put a blue filter over everything but it really did work. It muted all the color and made it all very dreary and damp feeling. In most other situations this would be a major detriment but the overall feeling of hopelessness from the characters was perfectly accented by the misty and drab landscape.

The characters....there were problems but I'll touch on that later. What I liked was how they represented the Deadly Sins.

William is pretty clear. He is the Sin of Pride. It was his pride that had them exiled from their settlement. It was his pride that caused him to lie and steal from his own family. It was his pride that kept his family in a place that was blighted and would not produce anything. It was his pride that made him refuse to see Black Phillip for what he was.

Katherine was also very clear. She is the Sin of Wrath. Her anger at Thomasin for the loss of her infant blinded her to everything around here. It blinded her to Thomasin's innocence. It blinded her to her other childrens sins. It blinded her to how hard Thomasin worked to regain her mothers favor. And, eventually, it blinded her to the avatars of the devil that came to her that dark night.

Caleb, again, very clear. He is the Sin of Lust. Caleb was a bright young boy who was dedicated to and dearly loved his family. He loved one family member a little too much. Caleb lusted after his elder sister. That lust eventually lead him into the arms of the titular Witch as she seduced him with her HUGE....tracks of land... c:

Mercy and Jonas are harder to pin down. Eventually I settled on Envy and Sloth respectively, though I'm not 100% sold on them. Jonas I'm a bit more sure on. His character is fairly one note and all about shirking any work his elder sister tries to give him. I settled for Envy for Mercy mostly because of the scene near the creak. She seemed to envy the attention her father and elder brother gave to Thomasin. Neither one are very strong connections though.

Thomasin didn't really show a sign of a serious sin until the very end. Actually, she almost seemed to embody ALL of the sins in the end after being almost pure as snow for the whole movie. Almost. She displayed minor sins throughout the movie but it made her a believable character. She was a young woman, somewhere between 14 and 16 I'd say. She got angry at her siblings, she wasn't totally focused on her chores, the normal teenage stuff.

However, by the end of the movie, Thomasin displayed nearly all 7 Sins. She was wrathful towards her father. She was greedy for her mothers love. Black Phillip's offers display Gluttony (Butter) and Envy (the Dress). She was certain that she was right in all of her actions, blinded by Pride. She was apathetic once her family were all dead, leaving them all to rot in the elements as she wallowed in self pity. And finally she disrobed and frolicked with the devil in her Lust.

The Bad

Oh yes was there bad.

The sound direction was OBJECTIVELY horrible. What should have been ambient sound effects were too loud, the dialog was WAY too soft, the music was all over the place. It fell well into that nasty hole that Horror has of turning all the sound to soft and quiet before hitting you with a sudden jolt as the action jumps to life. When used well, this can elicit a visceral feeling in the viewer that lets them connect with the urgency of the scene. When used wrong, its just a cheep tactic to get a scare just like jump scares. This REALLY needs to be called out more often in Horror. We all denounce jump scares as cheep and over used and we need to do the same for the auditory equivalent.

The dialog was really hard to understand. I understand the choice considering the setting, but it was the biggest wall that kept me from enjoying anything the first time around. By the nature of Old Low English, words would blend into one another and become almost gibberish. Its a very lovely language to read, but a chore to listen to. I put on subtitles this time around and was able to follow the story much more easily. I would absolutly advise putting on subtitles while watching it.

The ending was the weakest part of the movie aside from the sound issues. I mean the very last scene. Everything leading up to that was actually very well done. The way Thomasin goes to Black Phillip and demands he talk to her. The way he offers her everything she could ever want. How you see both the hope and defeat in Thomasin when Black Phillip began to talk to her. It was clear he was the one who set in motion the cogs that ended with her families death but they were all victims of their own sins in the end. She saw his power over their insignificant lives and was crushed by his seeming superiority to the Lord she had been raised to love. At the same time, she saw the power he could bestow on HER, a clear tangible power unlike the "story" of Heavenly Power that she never saw physical examples of.

To end on the scene of this naked woman, no longer the innocent girl burdened by heavy trappings of modesty, walking into the woods with the black billygoat hot on her heals would have been so powerful. Just cut to black right there. You can even still have the witches chanting as it cuts to black and the end credits fade in.

But they decided to take it one step further and it did NOT help the ending. It was just too over the top with the naked women writhing erotically around this fire. When the camera turns back on Thomasin and she begins writhing and moaning and laughing and you see her rise into the air, maybe its just me but it took away the power of that sure confident woman walking into the woods.

It just feels like a step too far and would have been much stronger if they'd just left that part out.

The G.O.A.T

The best part was still Charlie.

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

A crown grows out his head,

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

To nanny queen is wed.

Jump to the fence post,

Running in the stall.

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

King of all.

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

King of sky and land,

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

King of sea and sand.

We are ye servants,

We are ye men.

Black Phillip eats the lions

From the lions' den.

[last-flight-of-fancy]

okay im going to scream about kingdom hearts now.

under the cut.

because there’s gonna be a lot

-REPLIKU?? MY SON???? DESERVED BETTER?????? WHAT THE FUCK????????

-yes i cried at the sea salt trio reuniting i cried goddam hard and i am not ashamed of it

-still no answers on why and how ventus got from the keyblade war to the current storyline. 

-still no answers on a lot of shit tbh

-he did recognize his chirithy tho!!! this makes me very happy!!!!

-you know whats fucked?

-i remember saying

-”man that guys movements are a lot like xigbars, but that would be silly” when i first watched Back Cover

-well

-he may not be the Master

-but i’m calling that shit CLOSE ENOUGH

-we still dont know whats in the fucking box

-where the fuck is ava

-apparently ava got hit with the memory stick and is the girl lea and isa were trying to rescue???? (i only put this one together after reading the secret reports)

-speaking of

-lea??????

-god man stop it with your faces you kill me every time youre on screen

-LETS TALK ABOUT ALL THOSE NEW OUTFITS AT THE END

-BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE THEM

-THEYRE ALL SO GOOD

-LEAS VEST SHIRT THING

-XIONS LITTLE SHOULDER RUFFLES

-ISA’S GROWNUP CALLBACK TO HIS GARDEN OUTFIT

-AUGH

-PERFECT

-I AM SAD WE DIDNT GET TO SEE THEM MORE

-BUT WE PROBABLY WILL BECAUSE THERE IS DEFINATELY MORE GAMES COMING

-LIKE DID YOU SEE THAT SECRET ENDING????

-TEN FUCKING FOUR BABY

-WE GOIN TO SHIBUYA

-oof okay

-so sora disapearing at the end hit me like a punch to the gut

-like you cant make it look fine and then take it away man not cool

-my one sincere disapointment with this game is it did fuck all with kairi as a character

-basically reduced to a plot device. again.

-even the parts where she could have been doing things! like the big heartless battle! she took like one halfhearted swipe and that was it

-its not kairi’s fault i still love her its the writers fault for not letting their female leads fucking Do Anything

-like the lead in to her arc had a lot of potential! “i’ll protect you this time! we’ll do it together!” and then she does.... nothing.

-the whole ‘you need motivation bla bla’ okay. look. bad trope, but i might, might have been able to roll with it if she’d had literally anything to do during this whole fight. her emotional arc was apparently completed in 2 and that’s all she gets i guess.

-oh yeah and then she fucking dies

-

-bleh

-BUT

-everything else was amazing

-aqua??? my wife?????? got her family back??????? and im emotional about it??????????

-xion???? my child????????? got to be with their friends again?????????? and im fckng emotional about it???????????????

-and lea

-trash fire husband

-oof my heart

-look there’s reasons i cried at the reunion and it’s because i am very attached to all three of them

-namine gets to live!!!!

-she deserves it so much

-i hope she beleives that now

-look i know the game was like ‘here’s riku and namine now ship it!’ but

-no

-look

-that was repliku

-my son whO DESERVED BETTER

-riku cannot replace him i dont care what the game canon says

-and i know the game was basically about Sora’s Relationships with everyone around him, but there were a few moments where. idk. riku underreacted to basically everything concerning kairi? and vise versa (or at least so much as kairi got any emotional screentime at all)

-like did they speak even once?????

-im still in with the ot3(s) but apparently the writers were not

-its fine i still have fanfiction

-its fine

-seriously though kairi has so much potential as a character and not only is it being squandered im pretty sure it’s being actively murdered at this point

-speaking of, the disney worlds were much better done, and indeed made me think of some fanfic i’d read that actually incorporated the worlds more fully and heartfeltedly into the plot. it was a beautiful change of pace

-kinda disapointed no rescue arc for vanitas? not surprised, just sad. it would’ve been cool to have more anti-heroes

-then again, considering everything, he might be back. we’ll see how it goes i guess.

-also the union cross names????? holy shit!!!!

-i didnt get my name but there are like... thousands of those so XD

-what a great way to incorporate khux tho

-and EPHEMER!!!

-i gasped. there he was!! my son!!!

-still dont know where they are now though. unclear

-i feel like demyx has a subplot going that we didnt get to see? i hope it gets extrapolated on in the future/he gets a bigger role in the future, but it’s hard to say

-marluxia and larxene definately hinted at some backstory that will come up in the future. also the strelitzia plot we still havent seen the conclusion of so that’s got to come up at some point.

im sure there’s more im forgetting but damn guys i binged it in like three days im still processing XDDD

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

[synnematic]

DAY 3: Letters to A Loved One

for @saboace-week

TWO PARTS:

Letters to No One ( written by me ) multiple chapters

a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955610/chapters/32125773

A Couple Years Too Late ( written by @reiji--san ) single chapter

a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955889

Summary: 

A collection of letters written over time with no set destination, but always a person in mind.

Letters to No One

Dear Sabo,

This is stupid.

Makinos got this idea in her head that I’m sad. Which I’m not. Im not sad anymore at all. I’m not. Its just hard. Youre not  When you died FUCK. Whatever. fuck spelling and whatnot too. not like you can read this anymore anyway. look. this is suposed to help i guess. a coping mechi mechen method. i write this letter and she stops naging at me. whatever it takes to make them all stop loking at me like im going to snap any second or try to run off again. not like i would anyway.

i know youre not coming back.

you’re dead

you left and you died and theres nothin i can do to turn back time or bring you back or get revenge becus the people that killed you are already GONE and i didnt even know until it was already to late

but im fine

im fine

im not fine

luffy is well hes been better but hes always been a crybaby so he’ll get better. im supposed to be strong now, stronger but i dont really  i don’t know how to handle the emotions and whatnot. not like you did. you always seemed to just GET it always sayin the right things, calmin me us him down. i can’t do that but im trying. im getting better i think.

we’ll get thrugh it

fuck this is stupid

what’s the point in writing a letter youl never read? or writing at all damn it

you taght me how to do this bulshit but i never thought id have to use it like this

fuck im not supposed to cry. messed up the ink now. not that it matters but still i wanted to fuck i dont know what i wanted anymore

sorry

im sorry sabo. i should have been i dunno. something. its different without you. too quiet and theres this pain in my chest all the time. like i’m the one that got shot. don’t get it but i hate it and it hurts and i just i wish you were here. i really wish you were here

i miss you

    ace

sabo,

hey i uhh found the other letter. never ended up giving it to makino but i think she knew i wrote it at least. luffy did but i don’t know what he did with his. i kept mine in the tree house, under one of the loose boards. its a little water damaged but i don’t think you really care huh?

this is still weird, talking to you like this. even though its not really a talk if its only one way. just like talking to an empty room but not even talking out loud

sorry

its been two years now to the day. maybe thats why i ended up finding the old letter in the first place. havent really been to the tree house much since then anyway because

well you know

went to the cliff tho. the one we used to sit at? i went there first yknow when i got youre letter. took me a while since im still not great at reading. getting better tho. it was quiet. always kinda is but really quiet this time with just a little wind. I think it would be a good day to go sailing. was it like this when you left too? dogma said it was a nice day but i dont really remember it that way.

i dont know why i do this to myself. same as last time i always get   i dunno. my chest still hurts. theres a doctor in foosha i went to once a while ago. thought maybe something was wrong with me. he said it was heart break. youd think this is something id get over but i guess not

youre still dead and im still breaking

i dont know when its gonna stop

if it does at all

    ace

sabo,

Is it nice where you are?

Overheard some people talking about it today. Talking about death and what comes after. It sounds nice. Heaven. If thats where you went. I think it should be. Where you went, that is, but nice too I guess.

It sounds warm.

I wonder sometimes if my mom went there too. Still dont really know much about her but she sounded nice. Maybe youve met? Is my d   Nah it doesn’t matter. I hope its nice there. I dont really beleive in that kinda stuff normaly, still kinda dont but i hope its true and youre happy there. Happier than you were here

I know its probably a stupid thing to ask but do you think ill ever be able to join you there?

The waves were choppy at the cliff today. Almost angry. Theres a storm comin but i think ill still go there later. Maybe

Ive been thinking about death a lot lately

    ace

Hey

I didn’t jump, obviously, since i’m writing to you now. Again. Sorry for the silence. Sometimes I just— I dont know. Everything rushes to my head all at once. It helps, occasionally, but then there are the times where my head fills with one singular drive or emotion and thats it, that’s all I can focus on. It used to be anger. So much anger. That was easier than the sadness though. Or the guilt.

There’s things I haven’t really told you. A lot of things actually. I was trying to be strong I guess. Still am. But Makino was right about one thing. It does help, these letters. I like to think sometimes that you just know. That you can read them or that my words somehow magically transfer to you. Wherever you are. But I know that kinda stuff doesnt happen. Not really. So this is more me talking to myself then. That I can do.

So for starters I guess, I had a dream about you last night. I used to have dreams about you a lot. Nightmares too. It’s been a while though, at least a few months since the last one. Normally the dreams are the same, extended memories or something small but usually just the two of us, sometimes luffy. Last night you turned to me in my dream but your face wasn’t right. And I think that’s more terrifying than any of the nightmares i’ve had.

I’m starting to forget what you look like, what you sound like.

It’s been six years now. Longer than the time I knew you. All I have left is the flag Luffy and I found in the wreckage of your ship. I tried to look for more but most of it’s been buried now and i’m afraid. I don’t know what Id do if I found your bones there.

We never took any pictures, never saved enough for something as meaningless as a camera and i regret that now.

I think i’m going to get a tattoo soon. Before I leave the island. Even if I forget what you look like and the sound of your laugh I still want to take you with me somehow. So you can sail the seas instead of — well.

I just don’t want to forget you sabo

    Ace

Me again,

I got that tattoo that I said I would in my last letter. It’s been a while now but it still itches every once in a while. Hah, you should have seen the guys face when I explained what I wanted done. People still keep mistaking it for a mispelling. As if I didn’t know how to spell my own name.

Anyway, got that done a little before I left Dawn and a lot has happened since then. I have my own crew! And a devil fruit too, though man was that a surprise. Still don’t really have the best of control over it and I set random things on fire sometimes but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. I’m a CAPTAIN now! Got my own flag and everything. We’re the Spade pirates. Isn’t that cool? The Ace of Spades is supposed to be a card that symbolizes death but I don’t think we’re so bad. Hell, we’ve actually helped a lot of people so I hope you’re proud of me. Still wish you could have been my navigator but we probably would have ended up fighting all the time huh? Can’t have two people that want to be captain in the same crew obviously. You would have loved this life though.

I know you’re probably in a pretty nice place yourself right now but the open sea on a clear day is the most beautiful thing. And the STARS Sabo — when the sun sets down low you don’t even need the moon to see, the stars are so bright. Brighter than they ever were on the island.

You’re up there somewhere huh?

Is the view better than the one I’ve got right now?

Seven years is a long time my friend. I’ve grown a lot since I last saw you. Do you grow at all where you are? I bet I’d still be taller than you.

Wish you were here

    Ace

Hey Sabo

I think I need some advice right about now.

It’s been 103 days since Whitebeard defeated me and took me onto his flagship. Yeah, uhh, probably should have updated you on that sooner, huh? My bad. My crew was defeated not that long after I was too. We’re all here now but we’re fine I promise. Actually, that’s kinda my problem.

I want No, I wanted to kill him at first. Whitebeard. All this time hearing about my dad and all he accomplished in life, all he did. So many people that respected or hated him and I just — I don’t know. I heard that Whitebeard was around and I figured if I could just be the one to take him down, the one to kill him even when Roger couldn’t then maybe — Maybe I could prove myself. Prove that I’m stronger than him, than Roger. That I’m better somehow. Or at least different.

Not that that really worked out.

Could have killed me but instead he took me here and made this stupid speech about family and trust and wanting me to be his son or something and I told him no. Obviously. I don’t need a family after all, or at least more family. I’ve got Luffy. And you. Plus I wasn’t  I’m not about to just throw away my own ambitions yknow? I promised you, I PROMISED you that we’d go out to sea and live free lives, the life of pirates. I don’t want that to end, not when I wanted to take you with me on that journey, the life you never got to live.

So I kept fighting and fighting and fighting over and over again, new tactics, new plans. But Sabo I’m so tired now.

So tired.

And they’re really starting to grow on me. As much as I’ve tried to avoid the crew or even piss them off. There’s this one guy, Thatch, in particular that is just too god damn nice ALL THE TIME. And Marco too though he’s kinda stuck up. And they keep talking about family. About belonging and — I don’t know.

Is it bad that a part of me wants that? To have an actual home? To belong?

They don’t know though, not yet at least. They don’t know who I am and maybe — FUCK I don’t know. I don’t know how they’d react to knowing who I am, what I am. I’m scared to find out. But is it worth trying?

Would you hate me if I gave up a part of my freedom for something more?

I feel like I’m betraying you somehow. But at the same time I think you would want me to be happy too.

I don’t know yet for sure but maybe, maybe this is my one chance.

    Ace

He KILLED him.

One of the few genuine friends I have and he’s dead. All because of GREED. Why does this keep happening. Every time I grow attached and start to feel safe something like this happens again just to prove how messed up the world really is. Over a stupid FRUIT and now thatch is dead and— fuck. A member of my own division too. My responsibility and I failed again. Just like I failed you.

I can’t protect ANYONE. Even after all the training and the fighting, the missions and responsibilities. But when it actually matters I’m not even there and my friend gets stabbed in the back and left to DIE.

The blood’s on my hands. I should have known. Should have picked up on the signs and done something — anything . But I was too late. Again. And now he’s gone and that TRAITOR is who knows where.

Well not this time.

This isn’t going to be like what happened with you, with an enemy I never knew and had no chance of finding.

This time I’m going to find him and I’m going to make him pay.

I don’t care if I’m cursed. Maybe I brought this on them in the first place, just by being here. But I’m not going to just sit by and let this happen again. I couldn’t take revenge for you but I can for Thatch.

I can at least do that.

Sabo,

I’m getting close.

I know you probably don’t care, but writing to you like this is the only thing that seems to be keeping me sane recently. It’s like I’m chasing a damn shadow. Every time I get close or feel like I’ve finally caught up the bastard does something to out maneuver me or fuck me up somehow. It’s been months now but this time I think I’ve finally cornered him. Teach is apparently on his way to Water 7 now and there’s a little island, Banaro, that he’s sure to stop at. If I can get there before he leaves then I can finally avenge Thatch. I can make up for my own failures and make sure that he never hurts anyone from my family again.

I dunno how it’s going to go yet but he hasn’t had much time to master his new fruit yet so I should have the upper hand regardless of whatever that rat has planned.

Short letter this time, I know, but I don’t really have a lotta time to waste right now. I’ll be reaching port soon and from there — well, who knows. Guess I’ll probably update you again afterwards though, or whenever I get back to the rest of my crew.

It’s nice to know that I’ll finally be able to avenge someone important to me. Risky, but I know you’d do the same.

    Ace

Sabo,

I’m being executed today.

Guess that’s a solid way to start off my last  this letter, huh? Yeah, nice going Ace, well done. I really know how to keep things upbeat in these damn things don’t I?

Damn it.

Teach, well he, FUCK— sorry.

I don’t want to do this.

He beat me. I don’t have any excuses, nothin I can say to make up for what happened or explain it in anyway. He just did. Just another reason to hate him I guess, but if the alternative was joining him then this is better. Much better, Still, uhh, it hasn’t exactly been fun. Impel Down was just about as bad as I expected, maybe worse even. There’s— you know what, it doesn’t matter what it was like. You don’t need to know that.

Maybe I’m just stalling now.

They don’t really give a lot of time for these things apparently, even when they’re last requests. Bullshit, but I think they just don’t want me to be late for my closeup. Gol D. Roger’s only son means I’m about to broadcasted all around the world. Thanks dad. Great perks. Though, I expected as much. Just proving what I always feared.

ANYWAY, at least I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. Don’t actually know how long I was locked up in there but the silence does things to people, to me. I didn’t dream much while I was there, kinda hard to sleep, but I thought about you a lot. Actually, been thinkin about you a lot for a while but this was different I suppose.

The guys down there like to talk a lot. It helps pass the time but most of them are kinda shit people so I didn’t reply much. Still listened though.

Y’know, in twenty years, I’ve done a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot— more than most my age, but there’s a lot I didn’t get to do too, didn’t learn about.

I never really thought about love until recently. It’s not really a pirate thing, huh? High seas and all that nonsense but life moves fast and a lot happens all at once. Not a lotta time to sit around and, I dunno, dream?

Whatever. Well, the guys down there talked a surprising amount about it, like it’s something magical, better than any other treasure, and it got me thinkin. I’ve never really cared about that stuff, haven’t since I was a kid. But I guess that’s because I figured no one would be able to stand me for long, no one would actually accept me for who I am. But, that’s not really right, huh? Since you did that right from the start. I’ve known that for ages but guess it didn’t really sink in until now.

Call it childish innocence or whatever, but you accepted me even back then when I was broody and angry and maybe a little murderous. You knew who I was, my history, my dreams, and you didn’t laugh or run away or anything like that. You smiled that stupid smile of yours and just accepted me, all of me.

Here I am about to— about to leave , and it’s because there’s a whole fucking WORLD out there that can’t seem to do the same thing a five year old noble brat could — no offense.

And y’know, if that’s the closest I get to love then I’ll take it. Hell, maybe I even love you too. Actually, no. I don’t think maybe is even a factor anymore. Seems stupid now that I think about it, but I probably loved you even back then. From the very start. Little late to be figuring that out now, huh?

They’re rushing me. Marine bastards.

I know I’ve talked a lot about, well, death. So many years spent just thinkin that I deserve it, just because of who my father was, but now that there’s this whole messed up world agreeing with me, is it wrong that I’m— fuck — I’m scared Sabo. Absolutely terrified and there’s nothing I can do about it. All these years I’ve practically asked for it and now—

I know it’s late to start saying this, way too late now, but Sabo, I want to live.

I want to do so much with my life than this. I want to explore more, see more. I want— I want what I can’t have anymore. And it sucks. It really fucking sucks, but this is how it ends for me. Goin out the same way my shitty pops did. Apparently. What a sick joke this all is.

But I'm running out of time now. Guess I’ve spent what time I had. Garp knows what to do with this after... after everything. I know it won't matter in the end, but I think all of these should be together, y'know? Just in case. It's nice to know that he still considered me family, even now. He's the only one here that seems to actually care. You would think these assholes would cut me a little slack now that we’re here but I just… I don’t think it matters to them that I'm about to die. Not even a little bit. Shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I’m still human after all. Just like them. But maybe they don’t see it like that.

I’d pray for miracles but I don’t think there are any gods out there to help me. I still don’t think there are any gods at all. Doesn't really bode well for what comes after, huh?

Luffy’s going to be mad at me. I promised him that I wouldn’t die.

Maybe we can both watch over him though? You’ll probably be mad at me for saying this but a part of me is a little relieved. At the end. At least I’ll get to see you again, right? I don’t even know if we’ll both end up in the same place, but I can hope. I really, really hope. It’s selfish but I’m glad that I won’t be alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

    Ace

A Couple Years Too Late

Dear Ace,

         It’s been a while, has it not? I’m sorry, but man do I have some things to tell you.

If only I could tell you.

I got your letters. Well, more like I found your letters. Stored away in a box at our old tree house. Can you believe it’s still intact after all these years? Pretty good for a couple of kids huh?

.

.

.

Dear Ace,

         I’m sorry. I can’t believe I stopped so soon. Not even a couple sentences in and I had to leave the room. What an idiot. Let me start again.

Hey Ace. How are you? Are you eating well? Getting enough rest? You have to make sure to take care of yourself, I’m not there to nag at you anymore now. You’re all grown up. I sound like such a parent I’m sorry. I just care and want the best for you. I got your letters. I’m sorry the delivery took so long. Way too long. It’s a shame this is how we reunite. I hoped I could have seen you at least once before

.

.

.

Dear Ace,

          I did it again. At this rate I’ll clean out Headquarter’s paper supply. I’m sorry. It’s just, every time I write, my vision gets blurry and I can’t see anymore. How can I properly reply to you if I don’t know what I’m writing? Would be embarrassing if I had a bunch of spelling mistakes especially since I’m the one that taught you how to write.

Speaking of which, you’ve gotten a lot better! I can see from the different letters you wrote. It makes me happy to see that, shows you practiced a lot. Did you help Luffy too? I only taught him so much before I left, I’m sorry. It must’ve been hard on you.

It must have been really hard on you…

I’m sorry. I keep speaking nonsense. I just don’t know where to begin, what to say. This is the third time I’m trying to write to you and you are right—it’s pretty stupid. Maybe a part of me is just hoping that the same thing will happen with you. That you’ll get this letter in 10 years or so and then maybe we could meet again, somewhere in this wide ocean.

Or maybe somewhere in skies up above.

I can dream, right?

.

.

.

Hey Ace, Is this how you felt? When you wrote every one of those letters, did it hurt this badly each time? I’m sorry, I should’ve come to get them sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t even be writing this right now if I had. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to write them if I had come sooner. I’m sorry. I really made it hard for you huh? I’m happy you wrote though. It feels as if you are here, talking to me. Telling me of your struggles, your adventures. All the good and the bad—even though I already knew some of this. I’m happy for you Ace. Truly I am. I wish I could’ve been there when you sailed out to sea, we could’ve sailed out together. Met your first crew, that I wouldn’t be a part of because I would have had a better crew.

When you found a family .

I’ll have to visit them one day, and properly thank them. It’s the least I can do.

Hey, remember the declarations we made back at the cliff? I still haven’t done mine, been busy, it’ll probably take a while. Still, you did yours did you not? You let the whole world know who you were. Fire Fist Ace, that’s a pretty cool name they gave you. You were always the better big brother so I’m not surprised you beat me to it. Mine’s a little bit harder so cut me some slack okay?

Weird how the past couple days I struggled to write and now it’s all just pouring out, I’m sorry it’s such a mess of words. I still don’t know what to really say. My vision is still blurry but I’m fighting through it. I’m sorry the paper may be a little wet.

…I’m sorry.

Twelve times. Twelve times I’ve said those two words but nothing changes, nothing will change. I’ve come to that conclusion. Took me a while.

A long while.

It’s been two years or so since you left. Every night I have the same dream. And every time you’re always out of reach. Every single night I wonder “Would things have been different if I was there?” People kept telling me there’s no right answer to that.

Would you be alive right now if I had remembered just a little sooner?

Ah that’s right. I haven’t told you. I didn’t think it would matter if you knew since it wouldn't change anything, I’m sorry. Thirteen. I lost my memories. Pretty shitty thing for me to do right? I know. While you were suffering I didn’t even know you were a part of my life. While you died, I paid no mind because I didn’t know. You must be really mad at me. For forgetting so easily.

And then life rewards me my memories when I see your death mention in the papers. That’s pretty fucked up huh? Maybe I should’ve looked at the papers sooner.

Hey Ace, do you know now? Is it pretty up there where you are? Have you met your mom? She’s up there too right? I’m sure she is. If there is a Heaven I know you’re there. Regardless of what people say, what they may have called you, Heaven is where you belong. The image of an angel truly suits you, you know. Maybe you always were an angel, and god sent you down to me. Can I let you in on a little secret? Thanks to you, I was able to become who I am today. If I hadn’t met you that day you pulled me out of the Grey Terminal I probably would’ve been back in that castle, suffering. You changed my life for the better and I’m eternally grateful. And seeing as you brought it up first; I love you too. Always did. Even during my amnesiac years, I’m sure that part of me was still there. Loving you even if it didn’t remember you. Sad that we’re sharing such things now huh? It’s almost laughable. Yet not even a smile comes to my face right now… What am I saying? I’m sorry, I ramble a lot.

Fourteen.

It’s been almost two years since then Ace and the pain just gets worse. Does it ever go away? Did it ever go away for you? It’s like a nail is constantly being hammered into my chest. Some days they slam the hammer harder than others. Some days they slam it so hard I can barely breathe… I can cover it up better than before at least, can function in my daily life. Oh yeah—I’m a Revolutionary, have I told you that yet?

Do you think if this world was different, you would still be alive? I wonder.

Are these letters really supposed to help? The only thing it’s helping with is making the pain worse. Will you even read this? Maybe if I send it flying high enough, will it reach you? Or maybe you're watching me right now as I write it? If you are then well…

I miss you.

God I miss you so much.

It’s not fair. Why did you have to be the one to leave? My first friend, best friend, my partner, my brother, my… There are so many things I want to share with you. I want to see you again. See you smiling, laughing, angry—I just want to see you. Even if it’s just one more time.

Would it have been better if I had died that day? Would I be with you right now? I’ve had that thought so many times. And maybe I tried to join you…so many times.

But I’ve thought a lot. Luffy is still out there is he not? I can’t just leave our little brother like that. I’ve already fucked up enough as it is. Even if he hates me, pushes me away and never wants to see me again—I’ll protect him. I asked you to take care of him before, now it’s my turn.

By the way, I’ll be visiting you soon—no, not like that. Sadly. I’ve avoided doing it for a while because I didn’t want to believe it but I think it’s time now.

I’m sorry…that I can’t be with you, not yet. But you aren’t alone. I may not be next to you, but I’m always thinking of you. Every waking moment and every time I close my eyes. You’re there.

Fifteen.

We’ll meet again soon. There are just some things I have to take care of here first. It may sound a little selfish but please wait for me okay? Just a little longer.

         Sabo

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

[after-avenging-hours]

Barnes Traditional Get Together: Bucky x Reader

Happy 100th Birthday, Bucky.

A/N: this is a family bucky x reader story, with slight romantic x Steve

btw, I don’t know Bucky’s sister’s real names, so they’re named after First Ladies

Warnings: I made myself tear up a few times while writing this, but it’s tears of happiness, so...

Word count: 5465

You stare up at the large, intimidating building.  It almost seems never ending as you stand directly at its base, the combination of glass and metal seeming to stretch for miles before the very tip kisses the sky. Besides the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State building, this building is one of the most recognizable in all of New York.  With the gigantic A plastered on the side, it’s purpose was unmistakable.

Releasing a measured breath, you build up the courage to step through the front doors.  The main lobby is spacious and completely empty. You frown.  Shouldn’t there be a secretary or someone?  Security guards?  A door man?

But no, there was absolutely no one in the front entrance.

“Can I help you?”

You jump when the female voice seems to fill the room but come from nowhere.

“Uh…” you respond, spinning in circles to look for the source of the voice.  “Who am I speaking to?”

“I am FRIDAY, the computer that runs and protects this building.”

“Oh.”  Well, that’s fancy.  Though you shouldn’t have expected any less.  “I’m here to see someone.  James Barnes?”  You feel incredibly awkward talking to thin air.  You don’t know if you should be talking to the walls or the ceiling, or what.

“What is your business with Mr. Barnes?” FRIDAY asks.

You hesitate a moment, trying to come up with the best reason.  “…Family business.”

Without your knowledge, FRIDAY runs facial recognition on you, quickly determining your background and the truth behind your words.  After assessing your threat level, or lack thereof, the elevator doors on the other end of the lobby open.

“Access granted to floor 28. I will alert Mr. Barnes to your presence.”

“Oh… um.  Thank you,” you respond awkwardly, making your way to the elevator.

“You’re welcome, Ms. L/N.”

It’s not until the doors close and the elevator begins to move that you realize you’d never told the computer your name.

Bucky is lounging on his floor in Avengers tower.  It’s one of his few days off, and he plans to enjoy it by doing absolutely nothing.

“Mr. Barnes,” FRIDAY’s voice fills his room.  “You have a guest.”

Bucky frowns in confusion. He wasn’t expecting anyone, but he also knows that Friday wouldn’t allow anyone of threat up to see him.  He walks out to greet the person, frowning further when he sees you stepping out of the elevator.

You don’t see him at first, you’re too caught up looking around at the high-tech building.  It’s absolutely incredible, breath taking even.

“Can I help you?”

The question makes you jump once again, but at least this time there’s a source for the voice. When your eyes land on him, it’s not difficult to tell that he’s eyeing you warily.  You smile warmly, hoping to ease some of his caution.  “James.”

He raises an eyebrow shifting from one foot to the other.  “It’s just Bucky.”

You drop your gaze, releasing a small laugh.  “Right. Sorry.  I know this might seem a little strange.  I didn’t mean to just drop into your lap.  And honestly, I’m kind of breaking a promise by being here, but I felt that it was important that I see you.”

Bucky crosses his arms over his chest, metal glinting against skin.  “Okay…” he still has his guard up, but he’s willing to wait for you to continue.

You look at him curiously, tilting your head slightly.  “Do you… know who I am?”

The hardness in his eyes remains unchanged.  “Should I?”

You bite your bottom lip. You would have thought that maybe he had at least done some research about you. You admit it hurt a little that he hadn’t.  “I’m Y/N L/N. The granddaughter of Edith Roosevelt Barnes,” you explain.

A small light seems to go off in his eyes as he now looks at you with shock.  His gaze washes over you, from head to toe.  “You’re Rosie’s grandchild?  As in… my little sister?”

You take a tentative step closer.  “Yeah.”

His brows furrow a little. “So, that makes you my…”

“Grandniece,” you finish for him, before releasing a small giggle.  “It’s a little weird isn’t it?” you ask, considering that you both look roughly the same age.

Some of his caution begins to melt away, the shadow of a smile ghosting over his lips.  “Yeah, it is,” he agrees.

A short, slightly awkward silence passes between the two of you.

“So, did you need something?” Bucky questions eventually.

You shake your head and shrug a shoulder.  “No, not exactly.  I just...” You scratch at the back of your neck before sighing.  “Grandma Eddy, made us all promise to not seek you out.”

“She did?” Bucky asks, an unmistakably hurt look lining his features.

Your eyes widen when you realize how bad your words sound, and you quickly try to amend the situation. “Oh, no!  Not like that!  What I mean is… She didn’t want us to overwhelm you.  We all kind of hoped that you’d come find us, first.  And when you didn’t…  She thought that maybe there was a reason behind it.  She didn’t want to pressure you.  She knows how much you’re probably already going through, she didn’t want the rest of us adding to it.”

Bucky nods slowly, a far off look in his gaze.  He’s silent for a moment, clearly lost in thoughts.  He’s not used to divulging his thoughts and emotions to people, not even the ones he’s closest to.  But there was something about you that made him feel a little more at ease.  He’s not sure if it’s because he now knows your relation to him.  Or maybe it’s just the gentle aura that seems to pour out of you.  It’s comforting, and he can find himself easily getting drawn to it.

A few more moments pass before he speaks.  “After I started regaining more of my memories from back then… I did look up what happened to my parents and little sisters.  I was happy to find out that all of them were able to get married and start families of their own.  It was a relief.  But honestly, it also felt like everyone was just able to move on without me.  It felt like I wasn’t needed.  That if I were to go back… I’d just burden everyone.”

You feel tears burning the back of your eyes as you step even closer.  You never imagined that this could be his explanation for staying away. “Bucky, that’s not true,” you insist. “The reason I broke the promise I gave to Grandma Eddy, was because I wanted to make sure you knew that you still have a family that cares about you and worries over you.  We don’t care about your history.  Whether you did those things or not.  We don’t care if the media paints you in a horrible light.  We don’t even care if you’re an Avenger, or not.  We care about you Bucky.  The kid that grew up in Brooklyn and took care of his three little sisters and his best friend, Steve.  The Bucky with a charming smile and a heart of gold.  The Bucky that used to say that family meant everything.  You’re our family.  And family sticks together.”

There’s a fire burning in your eyes, despite the tears of emotion that are beginning to fall.  The sight makes Bucky’s own eyes sting.  Even with Steve there, he still constantly found himself feeling like he was alone.  He’d long given up on the idea of family and support.  Of people that would actually beleive in him despite the bad things he’s done.  It was a complete shock to find out that even after all these years, his family was still there.  Still waiting for him to come home from the war.

“Can…”  Bucky’s voice cracks as he tries to fight off his tears. He clears his throat before trying again.  “Can I hug you?”  He feels so awkward having to ask.  But honestly, he’s only known you five minutes, even if you were family.

You fail in your attempt to quiet a sob as you nod your head.  Bucky uncrosses as arms as you approach.  You throw your arms around his torso and burry your face into his chest, squeezing in tight.  His arms curl around you as well.  He’s careful not to crush you, but he still holds you as tight as he can.

He buries his face into your hair and he’s suddenly getting a flashback.  It’s the last time he ever hugged his littlest sister, Rosie.  It was a few days before he was getting shipped off to London.  He went to see his family for one last goodbye.  Rosie had been 17 then.  She just started wearing perfume.  Bucky can smell it now.  It was floral.  He’d teased her about it, saying she was too young to be acting like such a lady.

Your hands clench around Bucky’s shirt when his shoulders begin to shake.  His sobs are completely silent otherwise.  The two of you hold each other and cry softly, basking in the bitter sweet feeling of finally being together.

Ever since you found out that Bucky was alive, you’d wondered what it would be like to meet him. You grew up hearing all sorts of stories about him from your Grandmother and Grandaunts.  Everyone in the family had been shocked when they found out what Hydra had done to him.  You could tell how much it upset your Grandmother.  And you could see how much it saddened her to not hear from him with each passing day.

Meeting Bucky now was more than you could ever have dreamed.  Admittedly, you were terrified that he was going to turn you away.  That he was going to tell you he didn’t want, nor need his family.

But it seemed, he actually needed you all now, more than ever.

Bucky’s shuddering soon stops, and your tears become soft sniffles.  You’ve made his shirt wet, but he doesn’t seem to mind.  He gives you one last squeeze, whispering a tiny “Thank you,” into your ear.

You give him a teary-eyed smile as you both pull back.  “That’s what family is for.  You’re not alone, Bucky.  Never have been.”

He chuckles softly, lifting a hand to wipe beneath his eyes.  “Are-  Do you…” He struggles a moment to find his words.  “Would you like to stay, for a bit?  Maybe get to know each other?  If you have time, that is.”  Some of that earlier awkwardness is beginning to seep back.

You smile through another sniffle.  “I’d love that.”

Bucky guides you to the living room, quickly grabbing a tissue from one of the side tables and handing it to you.  You thank him quietly and dry your tears.  You both move to the couch.

“So, do you live here in New York?” Bucky asks you.

You nod, tucking some of your hair out of your face.  “Yeah, in Brooklyn.”

Bucky’s gaze lights up. “Is the whole family in Brooklyn, still?”

You shake your head and laugh.  “I don’t think Brooklyn could fit all of us.  Your sisters each had several children, and the kids in that generation had even more children of their own.  We’re all over the place now.  Mostly, still in the country, but some families have moved overseas.  It’s just me and Grandma in Brooklyn.  My parents moved to Florida shortly after I graduated college.”

Bucky nods along to your words, hanging onto every one.  “Do you live with her?”

You laugh loudly. “Goodness, no!  I’ve got my own place.  Grandma lives in a senior living center, she hated having to go there after my grandpa passed away, but she likes it much better now.”

“How’s she doing?” Bucky asks in concern, for the first time doing the math.  Rosie would be 92, now.

“Amazing, actually,” you’re relieved to tell him.  “She acts more like 70 than her real age.  Sometimes she still acts like a teenager,” you roll your eyes with a fond smile.

Bucky laughs briefly. “That’s good to hear.”

You nod.  “Nanna Dolley and Margret have passed, though,” you regretfully inform him about his other sisters.

Bucky nods solemnly.  “Yeah, I know.”  There’s another small pause.  “How often do you see the rest of the family?”  Bucky asks curiously.

You shift slightly in your seat, looking a little sheepish now.  “Well, that’s also part of the reason I’m here.”

Bucky tilts his head and raises an eyebrow, gesturing for you to continue.

“You see… we kind of have this family tradition.  Once a year, we get together and it’s pretty much mandatory for everyone to attend. With how far the family tree has been spilt, it’s difficult to get everyone together for the holidays, so we use this celebration instead as a way of bringing us all together.  Grandma rents one of the estates up north.  It’s a huge party, lots of food, loud music, and everyone talking over each other to try to catch up.”

“Sounds fun,” Bucky smiles.

You nod smiling back. “It is.”

“So, when is it?”

“Uh… Well…” you hesitate, slightly, scratching at a spot behind your ear.  “March 10th…?” you finally tell him with a slight grimace.

Bucky looks at you in surprise.  “March 10th?” he repeats.

“I know,” you quickly try to amend.  “It’s short notice and you probably already have plans.  You don’t have to feel obligated to come.  But because it lands on a Friday this year, the party is going to last all weekend.  You don’t even have to stay the whole time.  I just…  If you weren’t going to do anything else…  This is always an option.”

You chew nervously on your bottom lip as Bucky seems to think it over.

“You said this was a family tradition.  How long has this been happening?”

You meet his curious gaze. “Since 1945.”

Bucky doesn’t know how you can keep surprising him.  Honestly, it wasn’t an easy thing to do, but you keep giving him the answers he least expects.  “What?” he asks you breathlessly.

“Grandma Eddy always explained that after two months of grieving over your passing, she’d grown sick of the sadness and pain that filled the household.  She basically told your parents and sisters that they were going to celebrate your birthday, whether they wanted to or not.  That part of the process of accepting someone’s death was to celebrate their life.  She said that January was the time for grieving, but come March, happiness would fill the household again.  It’s been tradition ever since.”

Bucky can’t even seem to grasp the concept of all of this.  Not only did he still have a family…  But they’d been celebrating his birthday for over 70 years.  They hadn’t forgotten about him.  They hadn’t moved on without him.  As a matter of fact, they cherished his memory.  Used it to keep the family together.  For generations.

It blew his mind.

“So…  Like I said.  You don’t have to come, but maybe at least think about it?” you say quietly. “I know it would mean the world to Grandma Eddy.  But, I also understand that it can be a lot of pressure on you.  There will be a lot of people that you don’t know.”

Bucky nods, continuing to think it over.  “Do you think I could maybe bring Steve?”  He knows it would make him a whole lot more comfortable.  But he wasn’t sure if this was a ‘family only’ affair.

You feel your cheeks flush slightly at the question, almost immediately beginning to feel flustered. “Uh, sure.  Of course.  I don’t see why not.”

Bucky frowns in confusion, wondering what’s brought this sudden change in your demeanor.

Before he can question if you’re alright, he hears the ding of the elevator from down the hall.  “Hey Buck?!”  Steve’s voice rings loud and clear.

“Speak of the devil,” Bucky mumbles.  “In the living room!” he responds.

“No wait!” you hush, giving him a horrified look.  You quickly run your fingers through your hair and swipe beneath your eyes to remove any smudged makeup from your earlier crying.

Bucky wonders briefly why you seem to be fussing so much over your appearance, when it hits him. His lips split into a knowing grin. You’ve got a crush on a certain Captain.

Recognizing his teasing gaze, you quickly shoot him a warning look before neutralizing your features as Steve steps into the room.

“I was wondering if you wanted to grab some pizza before we-”  Steve cuts himself off mid-sentence when his eyes land on you.  “Oh!  Sorry, I didn’t realize you had a guest.  Am I interrupting something?”

You shoot Bucky a panicked look.  You seem to have lost your voice.  Jesus Christ, Steve is good looking.

Bucky chuckles under his breath.  “Nah. This is Y/N.”

“Hi,” you squeak, giving Steve a tiny wave.

“Hello,” Steve smiles politely, eyeing you curiously.

“Y/N is Rosie’s granddaughter,” Bucky explains.

It takes a second for the name to click before Steve is looking at you both in shock.  “Wait, your sister, Rosie?”

“Yeah,” Bucky confirms with a nod.

“Wow!”  Steve moves to stand in front of you, reaching his hand out. “It’s nice to meet you.  I’m Steve.”

“I know,” you respond without thought, taking his hand.  You cringe after you realize what’s just come out of your mouth.  “I mean… It’s nice to meet you, too.”

Steve smiles charmingly, shaking your hand gently.

Bucky observes the two of you interacting.  It’s like watching a soap opera.  Steve can’t seem to take his eyes off you, and you can’t seem to fully meet his gaze as your cheeks grow increasingly darker.  Bucky doesn’t know whether he should be proud of his best friend, or feel protective over you.  He vaguely remembers that he used to rough up the boys that would come to pick up his little sisters for their dates, despite how much the girls would try to sneak out without him knowing.

“Grandma Eddy and Nanna Dolley told me all sorts of stories about the two of you,” you admit to Steve with a shy smile.

Steve and Bucky share a look, laughing lightly.  “That can’t be good,” Steve grins.

“They were probably mostly stories about what not to do,” Bucky comments.

You join them in their laughter, “More often than not, yeah.”

The laughter soon dies, and another silence settles around the three of you.

You release a small sigh, sitting up and pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.  “Well, I should probably get going.  I’ll leave you two to your pizza night.”  You smile sweetly before standing.

Bucky stands too, “You’re welcome to join us, if you’d like.”  An irrational part of him fears that if you leave he’ll never see you again.

Your lips scrunch to the side as you give him a regretful look.  “It’s nice of you to offer, but I’ve got class tonight, so I can’t stay.”

“Class?” Steve questions.

Your cheeks flush again, an uncontrollable reaction whenever he addresses you.  “Yeah, I teach art classes,” you explain.

“You’re an artist?” Steve asks, his eyes shining in excitement.

“I am,” you confirm. You turn your attention back to Bucky.  “You don’t have to make a decision now about the party.  Just text me, later.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow before you realize that he can’t.

You laugh awkwardly, “It might help if you had my number, wouldn’t it?  I mean, is that allowed?  Or do I need to have a certain level of clearance?”

Bucky chuckles, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his cellphone.  “You’re family.  I’m sure it’s fine.”

You smile widely at him, happy to hear him call you family.  He hands the phone to you so you can program your number in.  “Feel free to call or text, whenever, too,” you offer as you hand the phone back.  “As long as I’m not in class, I’ll respond.”  You hope you don’t sound as desperate out loud as you do in your head.  But you’d really like to stay in touch.

Bucky smiles briefly, tucking the phone back into his pocket.  “Will do.  Thanks.”

You hesitate a small moment before stepping forward and pulling him into another hug.  “It was really nice finally meeting you,” you whisper to him, a small quiver in your voice as you begin to get emotional again.

He gives you a gentle squeeze, “You, too.”

Pulling back, both of you have glassy eyes, trying to keep it together.  You give Steve a small glance and another wave.  “It was nice meeting you too, Steve.”

Steve grins broadly.  “You’re welcome back here any time.  I’m sure the rest of the team would love to meet you.”

“Oh gosh,” you mumble. “I think being around two Avengers is more than enough for me, right now.  But I’ll keep that in mind,” you smile sincerely.

“You want me to walk you down?” Bucky offers as you all make your way into the hall and toward the elevator.

You decline with a shake of your head.  “That’s alright, it’s not a complicated route.”

The elevator doors open and you step through.  Bucky reaches out to hold the door a moment.  “Thank you.  For coming,” he tells you earnestly.

You smile back.  “No problem.  You’ve got my number now.  So, don’t be a stranger.”

He nods before releasing the doors and letting you be on your way.  When he turns around, he’s met with Steve’s smirking face.

“Well, she’s cute.”

Bucky gives him a blank look.  “She’s my niece.”

“Not mine.”

“No.”  Bucky moves, side-stepping around Steve.

Steve turns on his heal and easily follows.  “And technically she’s your grandniece.  God, you’re old.”

Bucky shoots a glare over his shoulder.  “So are you! And just for that, you’re paying for the pizza.”

Steve laughs.  “I was going to anyway.”

-

Keeping his word, Bucky stays in contact with you over the next few weeks through texts and phone calls. You occasionally meet up for coffee or dinner.  You do most of the talking, but the more time you spend with each other, the easier it is for him to open up to you.  He enjoys it when you tell him about the stories you grew up hearing about him and Steve.

Sometimes he remembers the events you speak of, sometimes he doesn’t.  But he still likes hearing the way you spin the stories.  You provide so much detail, it’s almost like you were there.

You tell him as much as you can about the current ‘Barnes’ family.  Because he had been the only male, there wasn’t anyone that actually carried the Barnes name.  But for the big family reunion event, because it was in his honor, it was still called the Barnes Traditional Get Together.  In order to prepare him for it, you tell him about all your Aunts and Uncles, your cousins, and your nieces and nephews.  The family tree had really spread out, it kind of surprised him.

Before you know it, the day has come and you’re up at the estate with the whole family.  It’s a beautiful day, so the party is mostly outside. The youngest generation of kids are running around, screaming their heads off and chasing each other on the grass. The varying generations of adults are lounging around the shaded tables, sipping alcoholic beverages and chatting with each other.

“Harry!” you approach your 2nd cousin.  He’s the grandson of Bucky’s sister Dolley.  “Did you bring the cake?” you ask.

He looks at you, perplexed. “What? No.”

You gape at him, horrified. “What?!  I asked you to!  You’re the one staying closest to the bakery in town!” you chastise, slapping his shoulder.

“Ow!”  He immediately gets defensive.  “Grandma Eddy told me not to!”

“Harry!  You told me you would!”  Before you can attack him again, the gentle voice of your grandmother appears behind you.

“What do we need a cake for? There’s plenty of food, dear,” she smiles sweetly, the crow’s feet at the corner of her eyes crinkling endearingly.

You release a low sigh. You still hadn’t told her about the thing you did.  You’d wanted it to be a surprise.  But you couldn’t exactly have a birthday party without a birthday cake.  “Grammie, please just trust me on this.  We need one.”  You turn your gaze back to your 2nd cousin.  “Harry, please?  You promised!”

He looks at you like you’re crazy.  “But, I just got here!”

You don’t get the chance to berate him further, because all sounds become drowned out by the blast of repulsor engines.  “Whoa!!! Is that a Quinjet?!?” one of the younger kids yells in excitement. Several of the other children ooh-ing and aww-ing in turn.

Your gaze lifts to the sky, following the path of the jet as it circles the estate, before finding a place to land at the edge of the grassy field.

“Who on earth is that?” you hear your grandmother ask in shock.

“Uh… someone I invited?” you admit reluctantly.

Recognizing the guilt on your face, it’s not difficult for her to figure out.  “Tell me you didn’t.”

You give her a small, innocent smile.  “I love you, Grammie.”  Leaning forward, you press a chaste kiss to her cheek, before starting for the jet.

“Harry, I think we’re going to need that cake,” you hear her mumble as you cross through the party.

The back ramp of the jet lowers as you approach, the two men soon stepping out.  “Bucky!” you greet in excitement, quickly making your way to him and throwing yourself into his arms.  “Happy Birthday!”

He laughs, wrapping his arms around you and holding you tight.  “Thank you.”

Pulling back, you give him one of your beaming smiles.  “I’m so glad you came!”  Your eyes shift to the blonde standing behind him, his clear blue gaze already on you. “Hi, Steve,” you greet shyly, that familiar blush gracing your cheeks.

He smiles, his eyes sparkling.  “Hey, Y/N. Nice shield.”

You tilt your head slightly in confusion.  “I’m sorry?”

He points to a spot on the center of his cheek.

You blush ten shades darker when you remember what’s painted in a bright red, white, and blue on your cheek. “Oh!  Right!  Uh…” you reach a hand up to the dried paint.  “Well… there’s a face painting station set up, if either of you are interested.  The kids insisted that I had to have one too,” you explain, though it does nothing to ease your embarrassment.  You’d honestly forgotten that you had it.

Taking Bucky’s hand, you begin to lead them away from the jet.  “Well, the party’s already started.  There’s plenty to eat and alcohol to drink and fun to be had.  But first… there’s someone I know that would really like to see you.”  You glance at Bucky over your shoulder, waiting for his nod of permission, before guiding him forward.  “Grandma Eddy…” you call, though there isn’t really a need.  She’s got her eyes locked on your approaching figures.

The two of you stop a few feet in front of her, Bucky’s hand squeezing yours for comfort as he gazes upon his not-so little sister for the first time in 75 years.  “Hey, Rosie,” Bucky speaks, almost timidly.

You can see the tears welling up in her frail gaze.  “Jamie…” her voice cracks, a single tear falling from her eye.

Bucky quickly releases your hand, and the next moment he’s holding Edith in his embrace.  You hear her muffled sobs as she buries her face into his chest.  “You finally came home!” she cries.

Bucky feels a lump forming in his throat, his lips trembling as he tries to fight off his own tears.  “I’m sorry I took so long.”

It’s difficult to suppress your watery gaze as you watch the emotional reunion.  This was everything you could have ever wanted for your grandmother and for Bucky.  Family meant everything to you, and now your family was complete.  It may have taken some time, and it wasn’t without its trials, but being able to witness this moment made everything seem worth it.

Edith soon pulls back, releasing an embarrassed laugh as she dries her tears.  “You’d think after all this time, I’d learn to have better control of my emotions.”

Your gaze gets pulled away when you notice a couple of the younger kids approaching.  “Excuse me?” Kelsey, your 8 year old niece calls.

Bucky turns and looks down at her.  “Uh, hi?” Bucky greets awkwardly.

“Are you my Uncle Bucky?” she asks, looking up at him.

He smiles kindly, “I am.”

“Can we see your metal arm?” she asks with thinly veiled excitement.  The other kids nod in agreement, their eyes lighting up.

Bucky chuckles lightly, bending down to their level and extending his arm out.  “Sure.”

“Whoa!!!” They all gush simultaneously.  They swarm around him, each of them wanting to get the chance to touch his arm.  And then the questions start.  “How heavy is it?  Is it all made from metal.  Do you ever pinch yourself?  How hard can you hit?  Can you punch through a wall?!”

Bucky laughs and does his best to answer each of their questions before getting interrupted with a new one.

Kelsey’s hands trace all the way up the metal plates before pushing the sleeve of Bucky’s t-shirt to his shoulder.  Her small fingers brushing over the red mark.  Stepping back, her gaze turns to you.  “Auntie Y/N, can you draw a star on my shoulder like Uncle Bucky’s?”

That quickly draws the attention of the other kids.  “Oh, me too! Me three!  Can I get one too?!”

You laugh joyfully.  “Come on, guys.  Let’s go to the painting table.”

With the ice successfully broken, the party quickly resumes.

“She looks like she could use some help,” Steve mumbles, watching the kids fight over who you’re going to paint next.  With a parting slap to Bucky’s back, Steve makes his way to you.  Bucky and Edith watch as Steve asks if you’d like a second pair of hands to paint stars.  You blush and nod, getting him a brush and dividing the children.

“That girl has been in love with Steve Rogers since before she even knew what love was,” Edith tells Bucky with a fond smile.

It makes Bucky laugh as he pushes his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.  “Yes, I’ve picked up on that.  What kinds of things have you been telling her?”

Edith rolls her eyes. “Only the worst things, so I have no idea where she got these notions from.”  She observes the way that Steve can barely keep his eyes off of you in between brush strokes.  “He does seem rather smitten too, though.  That serum really did him wonders.  Should have snatched him up when I had the chance.”

“Rosie,” Bucky chastises, though the amusement in his eyes gives him away.

She grins cheekily at her brother.  He remembers that smile.  The one she puts on when she knows she’s done or said something wrong, but isn’t going to own up to it.  She releases a content hum, leaning against Bucky’s shoulder and continuing to watch over you and Steve.  “I know I’m not supposed to pick a favorite, but she sure does make it difficult on me.”

“She reminds me a lot of you,” Bucky tells her.

“She reminds me a lot of you.  Loyal, compassionate, the biggest heart I’ve ever seen.  I don’t know how she managed to get you here, but I’m so grateful.  I just wish Dolley and Margret were here to see you, too.”

Bucky pulls his hand out of his pocket and wraps it around her waist.  “I know.  I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

She shakes her head.  “It’s not your fault.  I hoped you would if given enough time.”

They watch as you and Steve exchange a few words before your hand darts out and your brush streaks red against his cheek.  He looks at you in shock while you laugh loudly.

“They’re going to be making out in a closet by the end of the night,” Edith predicts.

Bucky cringes.  “That’s not exactly an image I needed in my head.”

She laughs unapologetically. “Do me a favor, though.  Watch out for her?” she asks, turning her gaze up to her big brother.

He looks down at her and nods.  “I will. Family sticks together.”

She smiles serenely.  “Welcome home, Bucky,” she tells him, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“It’s been far too long,” Bucky tilts his head down to rest it atop hers, for the first time in a long time feeling content and at peace.

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

“May I Have This Dance”

When Dazai first approaches Chuuya with another mission at the end of a long day of work, Chuuya is less than thrilled, but when the duo find themselves infiltrating a dance hall to track down a potential threat to the Port Mafia, Chuuya finds he enjoys himself more than he expected.

Notes: so this soukoku fic is a valentine’s day present for my beloved comrade @amarashii-am we talked about something like this back in like december I think, and I finally got around to writing it! I hope you enjoy it! 

*****************************************************************************************************Chuuya stared up at the ceiling fan, watching light glint off its twirling blades as it spun back and forth in an unending loop, succeeding in doing nothing more than shoving stale air from one end of the room to another. After an exhausting, seemingly endless day of mafia business, Chuuya could relate to the ceaseless spinning of the ceiling fan more than he cared to admit. “It’s been a long day,” he said aloud to no one, leaning against the doorway as he watched the fan turn round and round. “But at least I’m home now.”

Home. Chuuya snorted at his own sentimentality. It was such a meaningless little word, and certainly not one that applied to this empty apartment that wasn’t even high enough to escape the miasmal stench of the port below.

Chuuya tore his gaze from the ceiling fan long enough to shrug off his overcoat and hang it by the door. He turned suddenly, giving the doorknob a quick twist to make sure it was locked. Assured, Chuuya crossed the room and threw open the French doors that led to the balcony. He had hoped the stifling heat of the summer day might have abated after sunset, but, much to his disappointment, the night air was no cooler than the inside of his apartment. With a sigh, Chuuya shut the doors again. He stared out at the city he had known all his life with lifeless eyes, one gloved hand pressed against the warm glass.

Click.

Chuuya whipped around, eyes narrowed. He was certain he had locked the door. . .

Dazai stood in the doorway, cradling a large, white dry-cleaning bag in his arms. “Oh, so you are home,” he said, meeting Chuuya’s eyes with a radiant smile that instantly put him on guard. “You didn’t leave headquarters very long ago- I wasn’t sure if you’d make it here before I did.”

“If you came here to make polite conversation, get the hell out,” Chuuya snapped. “If not, cut to the chase. I’m too tired to put up with your shit right now.”

Dazai glanced at his watch. “It’s barely a quarter to eight.” A teasing smile crossed his face. “But I guess small children like you get cranky when they miss naptime.”

“You’ll be taking a nap in the fuckin’ ground if you don’t shut the hell up.”

Dazai’s eyes widened. “Do you really mean it? Oh, Chuuya-” Dazai pretended to wipe away tears. “- I can’t believe you’d do something like this for me.”

Chuuya rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t be doing it for your sake, idiot. Especially because it’s your fault I’m so tired in the first place!”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Oh, yes the fuck it is!” Chuuya cried. “You’re the one who kept me up until four in the morning going over names for strategies. I tried to leave, like, five times, but you were all, ‘oh, but should we call this one ‘fake flowers deceit’ or ‘this whole thing is stupid, who names their strategies anyway when we could just number them and be done with this shit in five minutes’?”

Dazai chuckled. “I don’t recall that particular strategy.”

“Do you recall me telling you to say whatever you came here to say and get the fuck out of my house?” Chuuya retorted, crossing his arms. “Because every second you waste my time is another second closer to me kicking you in the nuts.”

“Oh, please,” Dazai scoffed. “You wouldn’t-” Dazai’s words melted away when he saw the fire in Chuuya’s eyes. He took a step back. “We have a mission.”

“Oh, fuck me.” Chuuya rubbed his temples and sighed. “What’s the mission, then?”

“We’ve gotten intel that a certain member of an enemy organization is going to be frequenting a local dance hall tonight,” Dazai said, his face clicking into the cold, serious expression he always wore when discussing missions. “We have to shadow him for the evening, see if he conducts any business at the dance hall.”

Chuuya’s eyes narrowed. “That’s all? Just a basic shadowing? Can’t you just send one of your subordinates to take care of it? What about the scrawny one with the jacket? Agukatawa, right? Or is it Aku. . . Akuguwa?”

“Akutagawa,” Dazai corrected. “And no, I can’t pawn this job off onto one of my subordinates. This mission was a direct order from Mori; he was very explicit that it should be the two of us and no one else.”

Chuuya sighed. “Fine.” He strode across the room and slung his coat over his shoulders. “Let’s go, then.”

“Actually. . .”

It took all Chuuya’s restraint to keep from slapping the smile off Dazai’s face. “What?”

Dazai handed Chuuya the white bag. “Put this on first.”

Chuuya shot Dazai a quick scowl, then opened the bag to find a deep red silk dress. “Oh, hell no!” he cried, wadding up the dress and throwing it at Dazai. “Why don’t you put it on?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Dazai scoffed, carefully straightening out the dress and folding it in half so its hem didn’t touch the ground. “It’s not my size.”

“I’m being ridiculous?” Chuuya crossed his arms. “I thought this was a stealth mission, Dazai. Why the fuck would I wear something like that if we’re shadowing someone?”

Dazai shrugged. “I’m just following Mori-san’s orders.”

“Oh, come on!” Chuuya rolled his eyes. “If you think I beleive for a second that Mori handed you that dress-”

“Well, I still had to go out and buy the dress,” Dazai admitted. “Mori-san doesn’t know your measurements as well as I do.”

“You know damn well what I mean!” Chuuya snapped. “What, did Mori-san say ‘you and Chuuya have a stealth mission today, so make sure to put him in a dress’?”

Dazai dug his cell phone out of his pocket and tossed it to Chuuya with a smirk. “If you’d like to give Mori-san a call and question his orders, be my guest.”

Chuuya grit his teeth. Dazai was probably bluffing, but even if he was, Mori wouldn’t appreciate receiving a call over something so trivial. “Never mind,” he snarled, thrusting the phone back at Dazai and snatching the dress out of his arms. “I’ll go shave my legs.”

***

“Chuuya. . .” Dazai’s voice was soft, barely audible over the sultry strains of tango music that permeated the dance hall. “Smile.”

Chuuya bared his teeth. “Why?” Even when he didn’t understand Dazai’s orders, Chuuya reluctantly followed them; that bandaged bastard was many things, but a poor strategist wasn’t one of them.

“We’re just two young lovers at a dance hall, remember?” Dazai intertwined his fingers with Chuuya’s, giving his hand a slight squeeze of admonishment as he reminded him of the cover they had assumed for their mission. “If you don’t look like you’re having a good time, you’ll end up calling attention to yourself.”

Chuuya flicked the red rose that was tucked behind his ear. “Yeah, I sure wouldn’t want to do anything that would call attention to myself.”

“Chuuya. . .” Dazai fell silent for a moment, staring at Chuuya with an inscrutable expression. “Is it really that hard for you to pretend to enjoy being around me?”

A snarky comeback was waiting on the tip of Chuuya’s tongue, but he was caught off-guard by the genuine tone of Dazai’s voice. “What do mean, waste of bandages?” he asked slowly. “Since when have you ever cared about whether or not I liked being around you?”

Dazai straightened his tie and avoided meeting Chuuya’s eyes. Rather than his usual dark suit, he was wearing a black vest over a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up around his elbows and matching slacks, the tie around his neck the same dark red as Chuuya’s dress. As much as Chuuya hated to admit it, Dazai did look nice in white; it brightened up his face and even made his sinister, dark eyes appear a little less conniving, as if he did occasionally have thoughts that weren’t directly related to making his partner suffer.

Dazai gave his tie one final pull, then grabbed Chuuya’s hand. “Never mind what I just said.” His words poured out in a rush. “Just smile.” Still holding Chuuya’s hand, Dazai led him out of the semi-darkness of the coat room and into the almost blinding brightness of the main hall.

Once Chuuya’s eyes adjusted to the light, he saw men and women in fancy clothing seated at small, ornate wire tables clustered around a raised platform, similar to a stage, closed off by heavy velvet curtains. A cursory glance at some of the women was enough for Chuuya to grudgingly confirm that the dress Dazai had chosen for him fit right in. Of course, he wasn’t going to admit that.

Chuuya flashed a radiant smile at Dazai. “Is this convincing enough? The last thing I’d want to was to do anything to make myself look conspicuous. Like, for example, if I was wearing a bright red dress-” Chuuya shot Dazai a pointed look. “-that would be pretty stupid.”

Dazai rolled his eyes. “Your dress isn’t bright red; that would’ve clashed with your hair. I made sure to get you something in a very tasteful shade of deep currant.”

Chuuya snorted. “Deep currant, my ass. I look like a stoplight.”

“Come on.” Dazai pulled Chuuya to the side for a moment as a waiter with a silver tray dashed by. Once the waiter passed, Dazai stepped forward, practically dragging Chuuya along behind him. “You look fine.”

Chuuya yanked his hand out of Dazai’s grasp, massaging his wrist where Dazai’s bony fingers had held onto him. “After all the trouble I went through to cram myself into this thing? I better look a lot more than fine, pal.”

The dance floor was elevated slightly, connected to the rest of the room by a short staircase consisting of three small, wooden stairs. Dazai placed one hand on the small of Chuuya’s back as they ascended the staircase side-by-side, pushing the curtain aside and holding it up so Chuuya could enter. On the other side of the curtain, the lights were softer, reminiscent of candelight, bathing the dancing couples in a delicate glow. An ensemble played on a small stage off to the side, and a woman with a voice like smoke crooned in another language. The almost subdued quality of the light, the swell of music, and the gentle pressure of Dazai’s hand on his back, made Chuuya feel as if he was walking into a dream. He could have stood there for hours, basking in the subtle glow of the moment, but Dazai had to open his mouth and drag Chuuya back down to reality.

“I got the dress in your size, so there shouldn’t have been much cramming involved,” Dazai murmured, his eyes scanning Chuuya’s body. “But, I guess it does look a little tight on you.” Dazai squeezed Chuuya’s ass. “Especially right here.” Chuuya gave an involuntary yelp, making Dazai laugh. “My, Chuuya, so noisy.” He leaned in close, his lips practically brushing against Chuuya’s ear. “We’re on a stealth mission, remember?”

“Then keep your hands off my ass, bastard!” Chuuya hissed, slapping Dazai’s hands away. “Besides, you’ve told me we’re on a stealth mission about a hundred fucking times, but you haven’t told me anything else, like, oh, I don’t know, the target’s name? Who we’re even supposed to be looking for?”

Daza’s eyes darted to the left, indicating an older gentleman in a tuxedo. “That’s him, the leader of Echo.”

Chuuya’s brow furrowed. “Echo? I’ve never heard of them.”

“Well, they haven’t really made any trouble for the Port Mafia yet,” Dazai murmured, letting his eyes linger on the target for a moment before casually shifting his gaze to a couple dancing nearby. “Echo is a foreign gifted organization that’s been making inroads in a few other cities in Japan. Mori-san suspects Yokohama may be their next target.” Dazai smiled down at Chuuya and straightened the rose in his hair. “That’s where we come in. Mori-san thought the Port Mafia should put its best foot forward, so to speak. If we catch him conducting any, ah, unsavory business, at this fine establishment-”

Chuuya cracked his knuckled, grinning. “Now we’re talking. Maybe this’ll be worth shaving my legs for after all.”

Dazai smirked. “The sacrifices we make for the Port Mafia.”

Chuuya’s eyes widened, darting back and forth as he tried to decide if anyone had overheard. Once he realized that the other patrons of the dance hall were too far away to have heard Dazai over the music, Chuuya turned on his partner with a snarl. “A little louder with that mafia talk next time- there might be some people here who didn’t catch that,” he hissed, poking Dazai’s chest.“You wanna give out our names and addresses while you’re at it? How about we strip naked, staple our wanted posters to our asses, and dance a fucking hula?”

Dazai tucked a lock of Chuuya’s hair behind his ear with an amused smile. “You’re so tense,” he whispered, his words warm and soft in Chuuya’s ear. “It wouldn’t kill you to calm down, you know.”

“Would it kill you to take our mission seriously?” Chuuya retorted. “Our target is within spitting distance, and you-”

Dazai looked mildly impressed. “You can spit that far?”

Chuuya snapped his fingers. “Focus! We need to keep our eyes on the targe-” His eyes slid to where the target had stood only to be met with empty space. “Wait, where did he-”

“By the stage,” Dazai breathed, carressing Chuuya’s cheek as an excuse to turn his face in the proper direction.

“Let’s go.” Chuuya took a step toward the target, but Dazai grabbed his wrist.

“Hold on,” Dazai whispered. “You can’t just go storming off like that. We need to blend in.”

Chuuya’s eyes narrowed. “What do you have in mind?”

Dazai gave Chuuya a dazzling smile and offered his hand. “Chuuya, may I have this dance?”

Chuuya blushed, mentally berating himself for blushing. “It’s just for the mission, you idiot,” he told himself. “It’s not like he really wants to dance with you.”

“What’s the matter?” asked Dazai, taking notice of Chuuya’s hesitation. He raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Don’t you know how to tango?”

Chuuya snarled and took Dazai’s hand, placing his other hand on Dazai’s waist. “Of course I know how to tango, you limp anus.”

The ensemble struck up a new piece at a faster tempo as the target began moving to the other side of the dance floor. Dazai gave Chuuya a smile that sent shivers down his spine. “We’ll see about that.” Dazai jerked Chuuya forward, but Chuuya trailed his hand down Dazai’s arm, grasping his fingertips as he spun outward and yanking suddenly, forcing Dazai to spill into Chuuya’s arms.

“What was that?” Chuuya murmured, fluttering his eyelashes. “I’m afraid I can’t hear you over the music, darling.” Chuuya could feel a smile threaten to crack his expertly applied lipstick; Dazai might be the big-shot executive able to call the shots when it came strategy, but if that graceless, linguine-limbed son-of-a-bitch thought he could out-dance Chuuya, he was sorely mistaken. Chuuya was in his element now, and he would savor every moment of it.

Chuuya trailed his fingertips along Dazai’s bandaged forearms so delicately that his partner shuddered before entwining his fingers with Dazai’s one at a time. Grinning, Chuuya placed his free hand on Dazai’s shoulder, gripping perhaps a bit tighter than strictly necessary, and led him forward, moving with fluid, graceful strides as Dazai scrambled to follow along. Dazai’s usual smug composure nowhere to be found. His eyes were wide, almost fearful, as Chuuya twirled, his fingertips barely touching Dazai’s, before lunging forward so their chests were pressed together, arching his neck up so he could savor the look on Dazai’s face.

“Where-” Although he had done little more than stand still and be yanked around, Dazai still sounded out of breath. “Where did you learn this?”

“Can’t I have a few secrets?” Chuuya purred. His hands traced the air near the sides of Dazai’s chest before alighting on his waist, using Dazai for stability as he lifted himself off the ground, stepping down so gently his high heels didn’t even click on the wooden floor. “Besides,” Chuuya added, plucking the rose out of his hair and putting it in Dazai’s mouth, which was hanging slightly open. “I think I like knowing something you don’t.” Chuuya crossed one leg in front of the other slowly, then swept his leg outward, kicking his foot into the air when it reached the end of its arc and seizing Dazai’s hand once more. “Just try not to slow me down too much.”

They danced for hours, always keeping the target within their line of sight, but as the night grew older, Chuuya found himself less and less preoccupied with the target and more and more focused on Dazai, on the placement of his hands, on the increasing elegance of his footwork, on the sharp gleam that came into his eyes when he was contemplated with a skill he had not yet mastered.

“He’s just using me for the mission,” Chuuya told himself as he leaned back into Dazai’s arms after a particularly dizzying twirl. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t use him for some pleasure of my own.”

For a few moments- the time Dazai attempted to spin and only avoided slapping the hat off an old woman’s head because Chuuya pulled him into a dip came to mind- Chuuya had so much fun that he could almost convince himself he and Dazai really were nothing more than a pair of young lovers in a dance hall, enjoying one another’s company without any thoughts of international gifted organizations or questions about who was using who.

Eventually, it got to a point where Chuuya suddenly realized he had neglected to look for the target for several minutes and, when he did look around, the man was nowhere to be found.

“Dazai!” Chuuya whispered, tugging Dazai’s sleeve. “The target, where is he?”

Dazai shrugged. “Who knows?” he said with a lazy smile.

“Who knows?!” Chuuya had to wring his hands to keep from wringing Dazai’s neck. “Damn it, Dazai, this is important! Trailing that man was our entire mission, and we have no idea where he went! He could be up to something right now, and we just let him slip through our fingers! If we can’t find him, our whole mission would be-” Chuuya’s eyes narrowed. “Are you laughing?”

“Laughing?” Dazai tried and failed to suppress a smile. “Of course not.”

“I should hope the fuck not!” Chuuya exclaimed, stomping his foot. Then, remembering that the target could possibly have allies nearby, he lowered his voice again. “There’s nothing funny about failing a mission.”

“No, no, there is nothing funny about failing a mission,” Dazai agreed, lips twitching. He covered his mouth with his hand but couldn’t camouflage a burst of laughter. “But this- this is hysterical!” Dazai laughed so hard tears began streaming down his face and he had to hold onto Chuuya’s shoulder for balance.

“Do I have to remind you that we just lost our target?” Chuuya snapped, shoving Dazai’s hand aside. “Whatever you’re thinking about can’t be funny enough to make up for the fact that we’re in danger of failing our mission!”

“Oh, Chuuya.” Chuuya couldn’t recall ever seeing Dazai look so amused. “There was never any mission.”

Chuuya was sure he had to have heard wrong. “Never any- what do you- you can’t be seriou-”

Dazai took Chuuya’s hand and gently raised it to his lips, planting a kiss on his knuckles. “I had a wonderful time tonight, Chuuya,” he whispered, a soft smile on his face and fragments of tears lingering in his eyes. “I hope we can do this again sometime.” With that, Dazai turned and exited through the curtain.

Chuuya could hear Dazai’s footsteps as he descended the stairs. “Bu-but I-” When the footsteps faded, Chuuya found his voice. “Hold the fuck on!” he cried, hiking up his dress so he could run faster. “What in the fresh hell do you mean, ‘there was never any mission’!? I shaved my fucking legs for this, you asshole!”

[gypsysoulwanderer23-blog]

Im a spirit existing in a World I dont belong in. Never felt human as far back as 9 years old...

Just drifting. But Grayson. Grayson changed all that. But that meant facing A LOT of demons. Mark only gave me a year to "get better" after being diagnosed with PTSD, Bulimia, Borderline Personality Disorder (and she put "extreme" what ever the fuck that means) Anxiety to the max. Fuck. It took me a year to actually trust someone to BEGIN talking. I got kicked out of treatment centers, kicked out of detox, kicked out of hospitals, and if I wasnt kicked out I was right on the edge to be... Mental Ilness is fucking hard when you have to face it after being arrested at 29 years old. Living life a lie. Alls fine. I self harm, drink at 9 in the morning (no Mark, Im not an alcoholic, "ok". End of discussion). Shoplifting addiction to the max, you guys dont even know, I was good, I was bold, even challenged the manager of homehardwear for a loss prevention Job haha, I was good, I know I was, they dubbed me a "career shoplifter", its hard not to be proud of that when you remember the first thing you stole- a small pack of kleenex at age 8 or 9, and I said to my only 2 friends- you never know, when you gotta blow! So cleaver. Its an addiction, like any other. If you struggle with this, message me. I can help. If you struggle with suicidal thoughts, message me, I can help. If you struggle with drug/alcohol, well, were in this together, so lets get out. We're slowly dying and its painful. Everyday is painful. I dont want this anymore. I want to finally live. I dont want this artificial shit to keep me alive anymore. My Psycologist pointed out that I use my drug habbit as a replacement for human connection, and after some thought, he's a 100% correct. I can only stand so much "human contact". Thats why I come to a city I can hide. Thats why I came back. But now I have Grayson. I NEED to step out of this barrior I created. Im so sorry to the friends who tried to help along the way, and the friends who are still with me now... Donna, Corrine, Kendra, I owe so much, Janine for making me aware that I had an "eating disorder" I didnt even know what the hell "binging and purging" was! Until I described to her what I was doing... It was just something I did. I believe I was 28 when I found out. If your struggling, please just message me. Im not gonna lie, Im struggling too. But Im sick of hearing "if you just do this", if you think about that differently, if you could just get back out into the world, not all people are like that, the world isnt as bad as you think, theres a better future, your thoughts are what you think, think positively, just move on, get over it, oh I could go on. I was up-right abandoned by my husband. When I thought I was "better" in his timeline, he lead me to beleive things were okay for 6 fucking months, then bAM, one argument over text message and i asked "do you want a seperation or something" and he answered "yes I do". By this time I had bonded with Grayson soooooo much was sneaking into his bed at night to cuddle with him, putting him to bed at night, reading him stories, watching him learn, telling him imaginary stories.... my heart Is broken. And the only four other things that could replace my broken heart are either dead, or gone. Im all alone. Try fighting this fight all alone. I dont get it tho.... I used to be so independant... where the hell did that go??? I'll tell you where. Love. Love for Grayson and yes, even Mark. Love will fuck you right up. Leave a scar on your heart when its taken away. I. WILL. NEVER. LOVE. AGAIN. Grayson already told me he doesnt want to be replaced and so I promised him, I wouldnt. I was hurt enough now by too many guys to think anyone new is genuine. I can hardly keep in contact with my friends. Grayson. Hes my life now. Mark and the Grandparents arent letting Grayson have anything "of me" in their house so Im going to fight for more of Grayson in my house! I. Just. Have. To. Get. Better.

Just thought you all should know. Im not actively ignoring my responsibilities as a mother. When I came out of ponoka hospital in january I begged Mark to atleast let me take Grayson to school in the mornong, but nope, he would take him to his parents where his step dad got to take him to school, got to watch him walk down the line with the rope :'( i missed it all. Then I would get from 5-7pm of playtime with grayson, Mark would come home from work, plop on the couch, put his head phones in and listen to his podcasts.... how the hell did I not see he was done?? I was too involved with loving my boy, experiencing a new kind of love... Love. It ruined me. I will Never love Again.

[gocasualrunawaycollection-blog]

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"state of connecticut insurance license renewal

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one million dollar life insurance policies

My insurance rates went up for buying a prius?

E-surance added 300 dollars to my 6 month term for buying a Prius. They said it is a new car, and that they cant find the safety ratings. Is this just non sense, and is their another insurance company that wont penalize me for buying a safer, fuel efficent car?""

How much will it cost me to insure a ford focus - just give me an idea.?

Plese could anyone give me a rough idea how much it would cost to insure a ford focus. I just want to do it the cheapest way posssible. Its a 020 reg and i am currently using the car to deliver parcels so the insurance at the moment is forty pounds plus a month as im self employed. I will be leaving my job soon so just want to revert back to a normal quote but the insurer said they will charge me more if i pull out early and also he said it will be round about that price if you insure it with any other insurer. This is so confusing. Can anyone give me an idea of how much they pay.?

How do I find an affordable individual health insurance plan that includes maternity coverage?

I'm going to pull my hair out! Maybe I should perch atop a clock-tower until someone provides me coverage? Seriously, I have spoken to half a dozen insurance people and the best ...show more""

Insurance.?

Does anyone Own a Mustang GT Bullitt and by any chance happen to know how much the insurance usually is?

How much will my insurance rate go down if i take driving school?

...I just turned 18 and im wondering if i should go through the schooling..

""What is the lowest, best Liability auto Insurance in California ?

I just got a Pt Cruiser that car dealership if offering 70.00 to insure the car however I do need liability insurance any one know of a good web site were I can compare some quotes instead of calling around or talking to a pushy insurance agent ?

Just hit a deer while ago (Questions about insurance)?

While ago a deer ran out in front of me and caused a bit of damage to my 2002 Toyota Camry. Although the damage doesn't appear to be [i]too[/i] bad, (hood and bumper are bent, and the right headlight is a bit out of place though it still works fine, car drives fine) I didn't have my cell phone so I had to drive back home (not very far) from where the incident happen. 1. Will the insurance still pay because I left the scene? (I wasn't speeding, had my headlights on, and our seatbelts) 2. Will my insurance rates go up? (The damage [b][i]can't[/i][/b] be over $2000, so I can just pay that huge bill once, but that higher insurance will haunt me forever) 3. Will this go on my driving record? (The car is still very drivable and neither me nor my passenger were injured in any way). (I did not get a police report, at least not yet)""

Insurance Cost for Hyundai Elantra in Canada?

I'm 23 years old living in ontario canada, and I'm planning on buying a used 2004 hyundai elantra. I've taken driving school and now have g2 driving license. I'm looking for other people who have also bought the same car and around the same age as me, and I just wanna ask how much do you pay for your car insurance and what's the best (cheaper) company i should go for? Thanks =]""

Car insurance ? Can my girlfriend be a policy holder on one car and named driver on another?

Can my girlfriend be a policy holder and main driver on her car and a named driver on mine? Will this affect her insurance in anyway?

My daughter wants me to put car insurance in my name?

she wants me to put car insurance in my name for her husband he cant do it cause it would cost alot he has alot of speeding tickets and a dui plus he has lost his driver licenses my record is perfect what do you think i didn't even know you can do that im in ohio

Can kaiser health insurance drop me?

I'VE been vomiting and been feeling sick but i dont know what is causing it so i applied for health insurance and got approved. On the application, it askedif i was diagnosed with any illness and i was not. But if i go to a physical exam, telling them of my symptoms and do get diagnosed with something, can theinsurance drop me? I feel like i did not lie on my application because i dont even know if i have a disease but i am worried that they will say that i had a preexisting condition?""

What is all the car insurance and extra costs?

what is everything you have to have for a car like the insurance and all that and how much does it cost?

""Looking at Insurance Quotes & found a car under our address that is not ours, what to do?""

so my family has been looking at insurance quotes the last couple of days and this random car always shows up under ours address along with the actual cars we have, my parents are worried someone might have used their name or sumthing.. how do we deal with this and who do we ask? on one of the websites I got the last 6 or so digits of the car's vin number. My brother suggested asking police department or the Security of State but who can provide us with this information and what exactly do we ask for ??""

Help!!!!!! Mom is sick and has no insurance?

okay so my mother is really sick, she is 53 years old and needs medical attention. However, she doesn't have insurance and she has to pay everytime she goes to the doctor. She has severe anemia and needs to take procrit which is like$600-$700 and she needs to take diabetes, hypertension, thyroid medicine. We live in California.. i don't know what to do,,,someone help!!!! please..""

18 year old motorcycle insurance Toronto Canada?

Hi, I am 18 years old, I passed my M1 2 days ago and i have no driving record. My motorcycle is a hyosung gt250 (250cc) and I am looking for insurance. However I'm having the hardest time finding anyone to insure me. So my question is does anyone know an insurance company that will insure an 18 year old with no driving record, no safety course (I've been riding motorcycles (dirt bikes) ever since i was 8 so i don't need it) and an M1 licence? thanks Location: Toronto Ontario""

International medical insurance for US-medical trip?

I have a condition that might require surgery in the US, but I don't live there. Please can you recommend an international medical insurance that can cover the surgerical expenses when the need arises? Or anytime i should make a medical -trip to the US?""

""If i was an officer in the air force, does that military help pay car insurance?

how nice r the houses on base and how much meal do i get to eat per day while living on base?

""I own a 2000 chevy cavalier and im 17 years old and need insurance, about how much would that cost?""

Its small, green, and its a two door""

state of connecticut insurance license renewal

state of connecticut insurance license renewal

How much would car insurance be for me?

I'm an 18 year old I'm male. I recently dropped out of high school and I have a 2005 Toyota matrix I live in colorado How much would full coverage be for me on average a month?

Government Insurance or Private?

Private insurance is monitored by the government, but if we get government insurance, nobody will monitor the government. I would take my chances with Private Insurance anyday compared to a government insurance thats is filled with lazy bureacrats""

How much insurance money do you think i can get?

Seven weeks ago i got into a very bad car accident on the freeway. I'm 15 and was NOT driving. my 19 year old friend was driving. from the accident i was rushed to the hospital with a broken arm. my left arm was very badly cracked and they said in a week they will hit it into place then put it in a cast. so, a week later i went into surgery and there was complications and my arm snapped in half and so they cut open my arm and put in a 5 inch titanium plate and 7 pins. i just got my cast off after 4 weeks. my arm is in pain all the time. and i cant do much. how much money do u think i could recieve?""

Which car would I be paying more insurance for? Audi A4 or Jeep Cherokee?

I'm getting my second car and I'm debating in between Audi A4 Quattro and Jeep Cherokee 4x4(not limited). I know they're totally apart from eachother but I like them for ...show more

19 yr olds insurance on an audi tt?

I have been driving for a year now and am going to be 19 in august. i have been looking for a new car and have narrowed it down to audi tt or a5 both 1.8t. they are both insurance group 14 or so but i cant get a quote online. would any be able to tell me how much it would roughly cost if i went on my mums insurance with 5 yrs no claims. i dont even mind having a 3rd party theft policy. thank you

""Hit and Run, no witnesses, lying to insurance?""

So, I was with my girlfriend and we parallel parked in a space which we soon realized was restricted. So she pulls out of the space, too close to the delivery truck in front of her, and side swipes it on the way out. We pull off to the side, see no damage to the truck, but a huge gash in the side of her car. We decide to leave, since the only damage is hers. The next morning, she goes to the body shop to get the damage assessed. They tell her it is going to be over $4000 to repair. She decides to file it with insurance, saying that she had left her car parked on the street, and found it this way, assuming it was a hit and run in the opposite direction. Had she asked me before doing this, I probably would have advised against lying about it, but she has. So, the insurance inspector is coming to assess the damage in the next few days. My question is, how rigorous are these inspections? Will these guys be able to look at a gash in the side of her car, and tell that it was inflicted by her sideswiping a truck, not the other way around?""

How much does car insurance usually cost for female 20 year old in toronto area?

im a university student and really in need of a car the used car im thinking of buying is about $4000 rollars honda 1997 how much would insurance cost? i have my g2 and i got my in-class driving school certificate which guarantee upto 40% insurance discount thanks!

How to see a doctor without health insurance?

im a student living in southern california. i havent seen a doctor in years because i cant afford health insurance, but recently ive noticed that i may have an issue that should be checked out by a doctor. how do i go about seeing one? what do i do? where should i go? any advice or tips would be very helpful. at this point i dont care how much debt i have to incur to do it, i just need to do it. thanks.""

Can i get insurance now?

I recently had my wisdom teeth taken out, and they said i needed to come back and get my teeth cleaned, and they said I'm gonna need some fillings or something, but there wasn't another appointment until June.. well i don't have dental insurance, so i had to pay for this all on credit cards, which is do-able i guess, since we dint use those cards for anything else, but i was wondering could i get dental insurance between now and then? or would it not cover the appointment thats already scheduled? where can i find affordable isurance?""

Free medical insurance and dental in cali??

hello, im a 21 year old student who needs insurance! my family doesnt qualify for free insurance from the state, but my mother is not working to get insurance. does anyone know of a free or at least cheap way to get insurance? thank you.""

Car insurance??????????

im 18 my boyfriend is 21. of he gets my car insured in his name it'll be cheaper. but if i get pulled over while driving, does my name have to be on thebinsurance card?""

How much does your car insurance cost?

How much does your car insurance cost?

""What will happen to my car insurance - first time, minor accidental scratch?""

Very icy weather, I was going 20 km/hr (honestly) and when I made a right turn the ice dragged me out into the opposite lane. (It was kind of painful to watch - because I was going to SO slowly into the other car and I kept pumping the breaks but nothing) By the time I hit the car I was about 2 seconds from a complete stop already. Will this hurt my insurance? I've never been in a collision before. There was a litte peeling of paint and a scratch on the other car. Should I call them and offer to pay for it and not get my insurance involved? That's what I heard to do.""

Need health insurance for my child

I have a child who lives with his mom and I need to buy health insurance for him, Im also moving o/s so I cannot get insurance though my work, does anyone know of any programs or discount insurance company I can go though.""

Does a years moped insurance give you a years no claims bonus for a car the next year?

Just wondering. i'm 16 and i'm after getting a ped, but i don't think my dad will let me. If the years insurance on a moped carries over for a car next year when i can drive (which will make my car insurance cheaper) then i think i can persuade him. Anyone know if it does? any answers will be much appreciated :)""

""Life Insurance, Add to or buy another policy?

I bought 50K worth of life insurance when I was in my 20's. Now I'm 45 and thinking I need another 50K more. Would i be better off to buy another policy and keep this one. Or should I cash this one in and buy one 100K whole life policy? The policy is currently whole life and there is about 7K in there.

Which company can provide me good student international insurance?

student international insurance

What are life insurance quotes and its advantage?

What are life insurance quotes and its advantage?

Insurance on a ford fiesta 1.25 GHIA?

im 17 and will be having my full license at the very latest January the 1st just wondering the average price for cheapest cover, 5 door 1.25""

Would insurance be high on an impala ss?

I'm 18, I have a safe driving record (so far), I've completed driving school as well as defensive driving (it gives me a discount), if it helps. I'm thinking about buying an impala ss. I can afford it as far as the payments go, and my parents have agreed to pay the insurance if it's reasonable . So what am I looking at, guys?""

Can still drive with my parents in the car even if I don't have car insurance and they do?

I'm 16 and I don't have insurance listed under my name yet. I have my license already. Me and my parents were wondering if I could still drive without insurance if they're in the car with me. We live in Arizona btw, if that helps. Thanks!""

0.6l SMART 2003 car insurance?

How much would insurance for one be for a 17 year old in the u.k . Doesn't have to be too accurate just a estimate

What is an affordable life insurance for a cigarette smoker?

What is an affordable life insurance for a cigarette smoker?

How much does car insurance cost in California?

I know it varies but I just need a range.

Seriously...How do you really understand your car insurance coverage?

It's certain things that the company doesn't make very known about how much is paid if an accident occurs. Can someone help me? I recently purchased a policy with Geico. 500 deductible on comp and colli. Still owe 14,500 on car and it's only worth 10,000 per blue book. My goodness. This world is not fair. Father save us. So many people out to get over on consumers.""

state of connecticut insurance license renewal

state of connecticut insurance license renewal

Cost of insurance for a Subaru WRX STi?

Hi all, I will soon buy a Subaru WRX STi for commuting from home to work, but I am a college student. How much will it cost for the car to be insured under my mother's name? (53 year old female, perfect driving record). Thanks! Xela""

Good Insurance for 17 year old Driver?

What are some good and cheap Insurance for a 17 year old?... Currently we have 4 vehicles for around 800+ a month, so thats pretty cheap. And its also from State Farm, But I heard that Allstate or Nationwide has better coverage and prices that State farm. What is the best insurance for a 17 year old? with a 4 door sedan""

""If you have Amica car insurance, how much does 1 speeding ticket cost you?""

I live in Massachusetts. Have a perfect driving record but now I'm charged with 1 speeding ticket. How much more in insurance premiums will it cost me if I plead guilty? It's a regular speeding ticket, not DUI or wreckless driving. THanks""

Scooter 50cc and 125cc insurance??

Can you please tell me how much insurance in Ireland would cost for a 16 year old boy don't say phone up the insurance company because i am just wondering how much it is thanks if you know I was looking at 125cc scooter which is insurance group 2 I was also looking at a 50cc scooter insurance group 1 Thanks for answering and please tell me your prices in euro thanks again.

""What is the absolute best, maximum protection motorcycle insurance for me? 20/F 1st time rider.?""

I am willing to pay more, I just dont want to get cheap insurance that doesn't cover me. No subrogation clauses, I want to be covered as much as I possibly can. I am in TX. Is Allstate good? My car is under Allstate. I have heard Dairyland Insurance is good...anyone have experience with it? I dont have any tickets or violations on my record.""

""Car insurance, and registration in illlinois.?

hey. i was wondering how much would the avg price be for car insurance for an 89 acura legend 2 door for a 17 year old boy? and how much would it be to register a vehicle in the state of il? also are there any places near or around chicago that sell reposed vehicles. answer to either questoin will be very much appreciated.

Can i get a ticket for not having car insurance?

if i get pulled over with my parents car, the car has insurance but it just isnt in my name but my parents name. i have my L's""

How much is motorcycle insurance in california?

Im 19 years and im planning on buying a 2012 yamaha r6 as my first bike (no experience) I am going to take a MSF course. Anyways how much would motorcycle insurance cost me?

How much does car insurance cost for a 19 year old girl?

Living in South Jersey. 2 years with a license. No accidents/ tickets. GPA 3.0+. Good credit score. For a used car newer than 2003. I just need a rough estimate. I don't want some insurance agent to call me for an quote or get random e-mails from insurance companies, right now before I buy a car.""

""Can someone give me an idea of how much car insurance is for a mazda 6, 2006 honda civic sedan, or coupe?""

I'm getting my car soon, but i don't want make a decision until i get an idea of how much the insurance on these cars are. Thanks!""

How do I FIND affordable business insurance for my cleaning business.?

I live in illinois in a city I am starting a cleaning business I ahve searched the internet and called around to different insurance companys and got a quote from state farm they want $1000 up front for the year and will not take installments. I was under the impression that the insurance I needed was less expensive. hellllp!!! please help me find something better.

What are the cheapest auto insurance companies in eastern Pennsylvania that cover grey market automobiles?

I recently bought a 1984 Mercedes 500SEL and my insurace company says they will only cover my car for 30 more days until I find a company that will cover a grey market car. The guy I bought it from had it insured so I know its possible, but could you give me some ideas of cheap companies to start off at? I'm a newly licensed driver and am only 16, so please only give me companies that sell policies to 16 year olds (some only sell to 18 and above). Thanks.""

""Does mercury auto insurance, offer motorcycle insurance?

Im about to buy a motorcycle. If not do insurance companies insure bikes with a salvage title?

CAR INSURANCE?!?!?!?!?!?!?

well my older brother is going to go on my dads insurance on his own car. It comes to 100 a month. i was wondering if i can also go on the insurance, and if it would cost any more for me to do so. And please say if there is any other policy i an go o where me and my brother can go onto my fathers insruance.""

What happens if to my insurance if i get married?

My parents pay for my insurance and ill have it till I'm 19 if I get married would I no longer have insurance?

Car insurance cost if I want car insurance only 3 months?

Hi, I'd like to buy car insurance for only 3 months, and I'm wondering how much this will cost me approximately. * car price: $3000 * city: Phoenix * new driver, no record Could someone give me a ballpark figure please? Do you think it will be more like $300 (this is $100 per month) or more like $1500 (this is $500 per month)..... I have no idea. Thank you in advance.""

Will 4 year old dui affect my car insurance with geico?

Will 4 year old dui affect my car insurance with geico?

What if i cancel my auto insurance and get back after six months?

I canceled my auto insurance before six months. now I got another car and I got accident before I purchased insurance for this car with the same company. then I purchased the auto insurance.so, my question is does my insurance company has to cover for this.""

Ok how much would car insurance cost?

I'm asking this question for my 16 year old friend Gabby her parents just bought her a BMW 328i xDrive Sedan for 37,000 so she is wondering how much insurance is going to cost because she is in the proccess of trying to convince her parents to let her pay insurance or payments shes comparing which will cost less so insurance?? how much $$""

Car insurance question? help!?

I am going to get my dad to be the main driver and me to be the named driver because it makes my first insurance 300.00 =] Which is cheap for an 18 year old! lol But an insurance company phoned up today and said if i did this i would not be able to drive the car, if i did i would be uninsured? That sounds wrong, i was thinking maybe he thought i hadn't passed my test? So would i be able to drive by myself with a full UK licence as a named driver on the car i own? Thanks""

How much would the car insurance be on this car?

How much would insurance cost on a black 2012 ford mustang for my 17 year old son. it's the lx kind not gt racing. Please give opinions based off your insurance

19 years old and cheapest insurance i've found is 4.5k WHATS GOING ON?

Right basically i'm 19, recently past my test tried looking at every single type of car there is even with pass plus discount and it's barely even gone below 6000 (4500 wasn't even what i found, it was my sister that probably got one of my details wrong) I've even tried having parents as named drivers and i cant think of anything else i've not already tried. Even friends i know have had it less than 2000 and at the moment i'll be happy to get below 3000 Pleaseee help!""

What is the estimated price of being added onto a parents car insurance?

i am 16 sorting out the finances of my future car and have noticed the unreal car insurance price for a little car such as a nissan almera and am thinking of going onto my parents car insurance.

Non car owner insurance?

Can I get insurance to drive cars if I don't own one? I have friends who will let me drive their cars but I want to get my own insurance. I don't want to risk their no claims in case of an accident and if I don't have an accident I want to build up my own no claims but I can't find anywhere that does this....

I be 17 in April and i just got my learners and i want to know how much it cost for car insurance?

if my grand mom add me under her how much it cost

state of connecticut insurance license renewal

state of connecticut insurance license renewal

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