#itsmerandi

[firelord-frowny]

@itsmerandi

i always love a good excuse to share pics of the black widow that was living nice and cozy by the grill in my back yard a few years ago<3

peep that snazzy lil red hour glass shape on her badonkadonk 🤩

[son-0f-sappho]

Ok so a while back I saw this post 

https://youcouldcallmegus.tumblr.com/post/190470939020/itsmerandi-nubbsgalore-kilauea-one-of-the#

and the colors really reminded me of the polyam flag. Which got me thinking about how some people don’t like the flag colors much. I like the blue red & black combo but it can be a little eye straining. So I wondered what they might look like tweaked a little or inspired by the colors in the photos in the linked post, so I played around with it. This is by no means a serious flag suggestion or saying the old one needs replacing, I just did this because I was bored and it was fun.

Here’s the original and a bit darker version for comparison.

And here it is a bit darker & softer in hue(top left), even darker & softer than that with slightly purpler tones(top right) and just softer and purpler tones(bottom) All with much paler yellow pie symbols.

I edited some infinity heart ones as well the original(top), slightly darker & softer(top left), darker & softer with slightly purpler tones(top right), softer & purpler tones(bottom left) and a kinda pastel version(bottom right). All the edited flags have paler heart symbols but the purple and pastel are palest.

What do you think, did I make it less eye straining  or do they just look weird?

[loqueesha]

@itsmerandi replied to your post “Eighty two and ninety!”

What?! I know chicken as where two cars drive toward each other until one "chickens" out and turns to avoid a crash.

@skeptasboyfriend replied to your post “Eighty two and ninety!”

And chicken is the kissing game where the person that pulls back loses

Also, I’d totally win the kissing version so long as the person isn’t ugly or related

[vibranium-coochie]

@itsmerandi thats so vile. Insert that you live like this bitch but make it cook

[longlivemy]

First black out ! Inspired by @lolwho and @itsmerandi ❤❤❤

[chashmishhhh]

itsmerandi

Aztec clay mask!!!

hellomadmazel

I like any of Freeman's masks. They're cheap and have lots of variety.

hellomadmazel

Also Loreal came out with a clay mask line too!

!!! will check these out! thanks @itsmerandi and @hellomadmazel!

[hootnathanrm]

Buy it on Amazon - http://ift.tt/2FDgCqv - FDT Outdoor PTZ (4x Optical Zoom) HD 960p WiFi IP Camera (1.3 Megapixel), IP65 Weatherproof, Wireless Security Camera FD7903 (White), Pan/Tilt/Zoom, Night Vision - 65ft (20meters) Review -- Click the link to buy now or to read the 227 4 & 5 Star Reviews.Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3l9umtic_V-SUMBEFA7Ecg?sub_confirmation=1 Like us on Facebook for videos, pictures, coupons, prizes and more - http://ift.tt/2wCDdi2 FDT Outdoor PTZ (4x Optical Zoom) HD 960p WiFi IP Camera (1.3 Megapixel), IP65 Weatherproof, Wireless Security Camera FD7903 (White), Pan/Tilt/Zoom, Night Vision - 65ft (20meters) Review The surveillance camera arrives quickly. I installed in my door, the phone download the APP software, at any time you can see the situation at home. It makes me feel at ease. I often online shopping, parcels are on the door. This camera can always see my door at the situation, let me know who came to my house, who sent me the parcel. I believe that the bad guys have a camera at my door, I can not come to my house to steal things. It makes me feel safe. This camera is a bit heavy, need to hang on... Reviewer : Flora I brought this outdoor camera for my new house,because l feel not safe in new environment. It is a waterproof wifi camera. The resolution is 960p which is good enough for me to monitor surrounding environment. It support both iOS and android. I took me only 5 mins to set it up using my android phone. The app is pretty easy to use. After I set up the camera, i can remotely monitor it using my phone without being home. I can also monitor using my PC as well. It has smart motion alert can send ... Reviewer : Samuel Z. Click http://ift.tt/2FDgCqv to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. Simple and Easy Mobile Wi-Fi Setup for iOS and Android devices. Quickly setup your camera using a mobile device to find a Wi-Fi network Support P2P Function. No need to go through Port Forwarding and DDNS setting when you can just scan the QR code on the bottom of the camera to connect it to smart phone. Its that simple Smart Motion Alerts on Mobile Devices. Receive Push Notifications and Email Alerts when Motion is Detected. Limited Local Windows PC Access with Firefox, IE and Apple Mac Access with Safari Wide 30-90 deg Viewing Angle, Pan and Tilt: Horizon-355 Degrees, Vertical-90 Degrees, 4x Optical Zoom, and Night Vision Distance up to 20m. FCC and CE Certified You would be hard pressed to come up with an IP Camera of this caliber for even twice the price. I purchased this camera at regular price and have no affiliation with the seller just so you know I really mean what I am saying. I own all newer 4k equipment including a Dahua 4k NVR and 3 - 8mp bullet cams, 1 - 3mp ptz (Dahua cams) , 1 - indoor (Armcrest) indoor PTZ, 1 - outdoor wifi bullet 4mp (Reolink) and last but not least this FDT Outdoor PTZ. I purchased this cam because I didn't want to ... Reviewer : ItsMeRandy Click http://ift.tt/2FDgCqv to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. ***Let Us Know What You Think… Comment Below!!*** Watch my other review Videos – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3l9umtic_V-SUMBEFA7Ecg See other products on http://ift.tt/2xhK4Ru Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3l9umtic_V-SUMBEFA7Ecg?sub_confirmation=1 Like us on Facebook for videos, pictures, coupons, prizes and more - http://ift.tt/2wCDdi2 #FDT, #FDT Outdoor PTZ (4x Optical Zoom) HD 960p WiFi IP Camera (1.3 Megapixel), IP65 Weatherproof, Wireless Security Camera FD7903 (White), Pan/Tilt/Zoom, Night Vision - 65ft (20meters) This is a review video for : B01KPDXHBA Manufacture : FDT Thanks for watching! http://ift.tt/2xhK4Ru Related Videos in Channel

[renaterojaslit8]

Buy it on Amazon - http://ift.tt/2FDgCqv - Discount FDT Outdoor PTZ (4x Optical Zoom) HD 960p WiFi IP Camera (1.3 Megapixel), IP65 Weatherproof, Wireless Security Camera FD7903 (White), Pan/Tilt/Zoom, Night Vision - 65ft (20meters) -- Click the link to buy now or to read the 227 4 & 5 Star Reviews.Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6BgmKc4lcZQpSY7hQAb6vQ?sub_confirmation=1 Like us on Facebook for videos, pictures, coupons, prizes and more - http://ift.tt/2wCDdi2 Discount FDT Outdoor PTZ (4x Optical Zoom) HD 960p WiFi IP Camera (1.3 Megapixel), IP65 Weatherproof, Wireless Security Camera FD7903 (White), Pan/Tilt/Zoom, Night Vision - 65ft (20meters) The surveillance camera arrives quickly. I installed in my door, the phone download the APP software, at any time you can see the situation at home. It makes me feel at ease. I often online shopping, parcels are on the door. This camera can always see my door at the situation, let me know who came to my house, who sent me the parcel. I believe that the bad guys have a camera at my door, I can not come to my house to steal things. It makes me feel safe. This camera is a bit heavy, need to hang on... Reviewer : Flora I brought this outdoor camera for my new house,because l feel not safe in new environment. It is a waterproof wifi camera. The resolution is 960p which is good enough for me to monitor surrounding environment. It support both iOS and android. I took me only 5 mins to set it up using my android phone. The app is pretty easy to use. After I set up the camera, i can remotely monitor it using my phone without being home. I can also monitor using my PC as well. It has smart motion alert can send ... Reviewer : Samuel Z. Click http://ift.tt/2FDgCqv to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. Simple and Easy Mobile Wi-Fi Setup for iOS and Android devices. Quickly setup your camera using a mobile device to find a Wi-Fi network Support P2P Function. No need to go through Port Forwarding and DDNS setting when you can just scan the QR code on the bottom of the camera to connect it to smart phone. Its that simple Smart Motion Alerts on Mobile Devices. Receive Push Notifications and Email Alerts when Motion is Detected. Limited Local Windows PC Access with Firefox, IE and Apple Mac Access with Safari Wide 30-90 deg Viewing Angle, Pan and Tilt: Horizon-355 Degrees, Vertical-90 Degrees, 4x Optical Zoom, and Night Vision Distance up to 20m. FCC and CE Certified You would be hard pressed to come up with an IP Camera of this caliber for even twice the price. I purchased this camera at regular price and have no affiliation with the seller just so you know I really mean what I am saying. I own all newer 4k equipment including a Dahua 4k NVR and 3 - 8mp bullet cams, 1 - 3mp ptz (Dahua cams) , 1 - indoor (Armcrest) indoor PTZ, 1 - outdoor wifi bullet 4mp (Reolink) and last but not least this FDT Outdoor PTZ. I purchased this cam because I didn't want to ... Reviewer : ItsMeRandy Click http://ift.tt/2FDgCqv to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. ***Let Us Know What You Think… Comment Below!!*** Watch my other review Videos – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6BgmKc4lcZQpSY7hQAb6vQ See other products on http://ift.tt/2xhK4Ru Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6BgmKc4lcZQpSY7hQAb6vQ?sub_confirmation=1 Like us on Facebook for videos, pictures, coupons, prizes and more - http://ift.tt/2wCDdi2 #FDT, #FDT Outdoor PTZ (4x Optical Zoom) HD 960p WiFi IP Camera (1.3 Megapixel), IP65 Weatherproof, Wireless Security Camera FD7903 (White), Pan/Tilt/Zoom, Night Vision - 65ft (20meters) This is a review video for : B01KPDXHBA Manufacture : FDT Thanks for watching! http://ift.tt/2xhK4Ru Related Videos in Channel

[firelord-frowny]

Omg so I couldn't take a pic of it bc I didn't bring my phone but today I was in the garden and saw the most beauuuuutiful bug! And it reminded me of the Princeton crest??? 😅 But with more geometric type business going on across the body. But basically this exact color orange with black and white dotted throughout.

Any idea what it could be?

@itsmerandi omg lmao so i didn't even seeeeeeeeee this one sitting in my inbox, so idk if you even remember what the actual bug looked like lololol, but!

I'm like 100% sure you saw a shield bug! lolol they're aptly named, aren't they?

Specifically, was it this fella?

other candidates might beeee

these snazzy boys

this stylish gentleman

but yaaas my first guess would be the harlequin bug. harlequin bugs and all other shield bugs are part of the 'true bug' family, called 'Hemiptera' if you're a fucking nerd. 🥰 other true bugs are things like cicadas, giant water bugs (not the roaches, but the actual bug bugs), leaf hoppers, etc. they're pretty easy to recognize at a glance bc most of them have veeeeeeeeeeeery similar body-plans. even the ones that aren't shield bugs are often still vaguely shield-shaped lolol like assassin bugs and box elder bugs.

[orgyporgy]

I never drank or smoked or broke curfew or skipped class or did anything bad when I was a kid, I was very preoccupied with going to youth group and getting a Christian boyfriend and not getting in trouble or I would die, so all of my experimentation sort of started happening as SOON as I turned 21. Anyway one night Tino was like “here you seem to like wine, try this Zinfandel or whatever I have a giant bottle from my parents.” And it was very good and he just kept pouring it for me when I ran out bc I was like “this is fun I like being 21” and he was being very supportive of that. And then from what I remember, after Tino said some dumb thing about how oh-my-god-this-entire-bottle-is-empty, I got VERY good and hilarious at commenting on the episode of Australian Masterchef we were watching before I stood up to pee and IMMEDIATELY fell over. I don’t remember making it to the toilet but I DO remember the 20 minutes that I spent eye-level with it. After that night just the smell of any red wine is a threat to my safety & life. Thanks for asking @itsmerandi 😂😉

[jacobjamesrf]

Buy it on Amazon - http://ift.tt/2FDgCqv - FDT Outdoor PTZ (4x Optical Zoom) HD 960p WiFi IP Camera (1.3 Megapixel), IP65 Weatherproof, Wireless Security Camera FD7903 (White), Pan/Tilt/Zoom, Night Vision - 65ft (20meters) Coupon -- Click the link to buy now or to read the 227 4 & 5 Star Reviews.Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5fo8BB9BoscGfRuSVSb3og?sub_confirmation=1 Like us on Facebook for videos, pictures, coupons, prizes and more - http://ift.tt/2wCDdi2 FDT Outdoor PTZ (4x Optical Zoom) HD 960p WiFi IP Camera (1.3 Megapixel), IP65 Weatherproof, Wireless Security Camera FD7903 (White), Pan/Tilt/Zoom, Night Vision - 65ft (20meters) Coupon The surveillance camera arrives quickly. I installed in my door, the phone download the APP software, at any time you can see the situation at home. It makes me feel at ease. I often online shopping, parcels are on the door. This camera can always see my door at the situation, let me know who came to my house, who sent me the parcel. I believe that the bad guys have a camera at my door, I can not come to my house to steal things. It makes me feel safe. This camera is a bit heavy, need to hang on... Reviewer : Flora I brought this outdoor camera for my new house,because l feel not safe in new environment. It is a waterproof wifi camera. The resolution is 960p which is good enough for me to monitor surrounding environment. It support both iOS and android. I took me only 5 mins to set it up using my android phone. The app is pretty easy to use. After I set up the camera, i can remotely monitor it using my phone without being home. I can also monitor using my PC as well. It has smart motion alert can send ... Reviewer : Samuel Z. Click http://ift.tt/2FDgCqv to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. Simple and Easy Mobile Wi-Fi Setup for iOS and Android devices. Quickly setup your camera using a mobile device to find a Wi-Fi network Support P2P Function. No need to go through Port Forwarding and DDNS setting when you can just scan the QR code on the bottom of the camera to connect it to smart phone. Its that simple Smart Motion Alerts on Mobile Devices. Receive Push Notifications and Email Alerts when Motion is Detected. Limited Local Windows PC Access with Firefox, IE and Apple Mac Access with Safari Wide 30-90 deg Viewing Angle, Pan and Tilt: Horizon-355 Degrees, Vertical-90 Degrees, 4x Optical Zoom, and Night Vision Distance up to 20m. FCC and CE Certified You would be hard pressed to come up with an IP Camera of this caliber for even twice the price. I purchased this camera at regular price and have no affiliation with the seller just so you know I really mean what I am saying. I own all newer 4k equipment including a Dahua 4k NVR and 3 - 8mp bullet cams, 1 - 3mp ptz (Dahua cams) , 1 - indoor (Armcrest) indoor PTZ, 1 - outdoor wifi bullet 4mp (Reolink) and last but not least this FDT Outdoor PTZ. I purchased this cam because I didn't want to ... Reviewer : ItsMeRandy Click http://ift.tt/2FDgCqv to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. ***Let Us Know What You Think… Comment Below!!*** Watch my other review Videos – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5fo8BB9BoscGfRuSVSb3og See other products on http://ift.tt/2xhK4Ru Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5fo8BB9BoscGfRuSVSb3og?sub_confirmation=1 Like us on Facebook for videos, pictures, coupons, prizes and more - http://ift.tt/2wCDdi2 #FDT, #FDT Outdoor PTZ (4x Optical Zoom) HD 960p WiFi IP Camera (1.3 Megapixel), IP65 Weatherproof, Wireless Security Camera FD7903 (White), Pan/Tilt/Zoom, Night Vision - 65ft (20meters) This is a review video for : B01KPDXHBA Manufacture : FDT Thanks for watching! http://ift.tt/2xhK4Ru Related Videos in Channel

[loqueesha]

@itsmerandi it really is! Crown Royal sponsored the Stonewall riots!

[vibranium-coochie]

@itsmerandi Mood.

[firelord-frowny]

I know spiders are different than your usual faire, but do you know what this prickly little dude is? He's in Colorado if that means anything

@itsmerandi i dont remember whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i didnt answer this right away lmao this has been sitting in my inbox for MONTHS!!! but! this is a 'jewel spider'! I didn't recognize it on sight other than that it's obviously an orb weaver, but luckily, it was the first result that showed up after searching "colorado orb weaver spider" lolololol

and omg so, it only seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeems like spiders are outside of my usual faire because online resources for spider ID are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sparse compared to literally every other kind of arthropod lmaoooo. like, it's suuuuper rare for me to come across an insect that i can't ID, but spiders?? i literally have a whole gallery dedicated to unidentified spiders i've taken pictures of lmaooo. There are only a handful of species i've been able to get confident IDs for. 😭i wanna be a spider expert so bad!

BUT the most important things i like to know about any group of animals are which ones are dangerous and which ones aren't, and I do at least know that much lololol. in the US its basicallyyyyyyyyyy only the black widow that can fuck people up, and even then, people don't really die from a widow bite. instead they just experience several hours up to several days of excruciating abdominal pain and muscle cramping and other brutal symptoms known as 'latrodectism,' from the widow spider's genus name, 'latrodectus' 🥰 but you don't die. i mean there haaave been deaths but its like... once or twice in 50 years kinda thing.

now, someone somewhere (or more likely no one nowhere) is going, but FROWNY??? what about the BROWN RECLUSE??? the VIOLIN SPIDER??? don't you KNOW about the DEADLY DANGEROUS BROWN RECLUSE???

to which im pleased to respond, brown recluse bites are actually almost always No Big Deal At All Whatsoever! Some people do experience serious reactions resulting in necrosis around the bite area that take foreverrrrrrrrrrr to heal and require medical attention blah blah blah. but it's waaaaaaaaaaay more likely that, if one bites you, you're not even gonna know about it other than to maybe be like "ow :(" i think most sources claim that something like 20 or 30 percent of diagnosed recluse bites turn necrotic, but the key word is "diagnosed," bc people who don't have serious symptoms or don't realize they've been bitten by something obviously aren't gonna seek medical treatment in the first place!

i know the initial question had nothinnngggg to do with any of this lmfao but i dont often get to infodump about spiders so i decided to Go Wild <3

[firelord-frowny]

Frowny, Frowny! Saw this super pretty but probably hella dangerous bug someone posted on their stories! What is it???

(submission from @itsmerandi)

oooOOoohhh!!! I'm not sure, but at first glance I'd guess that it's a nymph/immature form of some kind of hemipteran or ~true bug~, maybe an assassin bug. The nymphs are usually super brightly colored like this one! Do you happen to know if whoever posted this is local to the region? If so, I can say with relative certainty that it's definitelyyyyyy not ~dangerous~ to humans beyond maybe being able to deliver a painful bite, particularly if it is an assassin bug, but there wouldn't be any lasting effects. Imma do some googling now and see if I can figure out what this thing is! *spongebob narrator voice* eight minutes later... WOOO GODDAMN I'M SMART!!! I was right! It's a spotted lanternfly nymph, belonging to a group of true bugs that are more closely related to cicadas. and, since it's not an assassin bug, i can say with more certainty now that it's not dangerous. Unsurprisingly, they're an invasive species in the region. Their native range is in east asia. What is surprising, though, is that apparently it's a very recent invasive species, arriving in PA in 2014ish, and only having been documented around here since 2018ish. And unfortunately, like many invasive species, it's having a negative impact on agriculture. And according to the source in that link, they're also just annoying as fuck and "everyone will know and loathe this insect"🤣🤣🤣dang. Also! With a lot of invasive species, particularly newer ones like these, people are often encouraged to report sightings to whatever local agency collects that kind of data to help the sciency people track and try to mitigate their spread. Here's one for maryland.

[firelord-frowny]

Frowny, Frowny! What are these weird bugs that came in my building en masse and DIED?!

There were literally so many! This was just one part of one corner! (submission from @itsmerandi)

______________________

OK THESE ARE MY LITERAL LEAST FAVORITE ARTHROPOD ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND I WILL TELL! YOU! WHY!

These are called ~european chafer beetles.~ emphasis on the ~european~. They're a VERY invasive species, and look like smaller versions of a native and not NEARLY as annoying species, the may/june beetle.

european chafer beetles emerge from underground every year in late june/early july IN MASSIVE NUMBERS. like, they're only slightly less numerous than the 17 year cicadas. (ok thats probably a BIT of an exaggeration, but not by much.) They're strictly nocturnal, and are usually well hidden all day, and then come out at night where they gather in large numbers around light sources. they're also TERRIBLE fliers and will just fuckin bump and bang and crash into everything everywhere.

Now lemme tell you why i hate these pieces of shit. i HATE THEM and imma TELL YOU WHYYYYYYYYY oh my GOD!!!

Imagine: I'm like 7 years old. Cute as a button. Frolicking around a Marshalls while my mommy shops. I'm wearing my favorite lil red pants that are Way Too Tight because i've outgrown them but they're my favorites so i crammed myself into them anyway.

As i'm frolicking, carefree and Not At All Traumatized, I feel something itchy against the back of my right knee. Something's stuck in my pant leg! I'm like, oh, it's probably a twig, or a crumb, or something completely non-disturbing. right? RIGHT?

So i'm trying to get this itchy thing out of my pants and i literally just shove my whole arm down the back of my pants lmaooo and i'm walking around looking like a fucking doofus. i spent like 5 minutes trying to cram my hand down far enough to reach whatever was in my pants.

Eventually, I could feel it fall down and out my pant leg! So i'm like, oh yay! lemme see what it was!

AND IT WAS A FUCKING EUROPEAN CHAFER BEETLE, RANDI!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE WAS A FUCKING DEAD BEETLE SQUISHED AGAINST MY LEG IN MY FAVORITE FUCKING RED PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

randi. i. fucking. SCREAMED!!!!! and BURST into tears! and my mom is all, wtf!!!! and i'm pointing at this fucking beetle on the floor like "IT WAS IN MY PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS" and i cried and cried and cried oh my god i was SOOOOO DISTURBED!!!!

but oh, oh wouldnt it be SO NICE if the story ended there???

WELL IT DOESN'T. IT DOESN'T END THERE, RANDI!!!! IT DOESN'T! END! THERE!

Because ya know what? YA KNOW WHAT???

every. single. summer. for the next TEN YEARS!!!!!! at least ONE european chafer beetle would somehow find its way inside my clothes while i was wearing them! and i had the EXACT SAME reaction every single time! Scream and immediately burst into tears!!!!

the other two Worst Incidents i can clearly remember happened in the summers between 10th and 11th grades.

10th grade: My fam is out fishing on my dead uncles boat! we finish up the fishing trip, dock the boat at the marina, and then my mom and i went to go wait in the lil indoor area while my dad and brother cleaned the fish. the indoor area is a nice comfy lil place with couches and a pretty fish tank annnd im pretty sure i was spinning around in circles and enjoying the wide open space lmao im just being an overgrown kid, spinning around having a grand ol time. I decided to take off my lil jacket and swing it around while i was spinning because idk it just seemed like a goddamn fun thing to do!

RANDI!!!! as i took hold of the edge of my jacket to take it off, i felt my thumb touch something round and smooth and i just knew. i KNEW!!!! i KNEW what it was before i even saw it! and i SCREAMED and started crying and i flung my whole jacket off and threw it across the room and my mom is all WTF HAPPENED??? and i tell her it was a beetle! and she's like, no it wasn't! there's no beetle! and im like YES THERE IS!!! and sure efuckingnough, my mom goes over to examine my jacket and theres a FUCKING BEETLE INSIDE IT!!!! :( :( :(

the 11th (or maybe 12th? idk) grade incident happened on 4th of July when i went with ebone to the lil firework celebration in her neighborhood! by this time, i was WELL AWARE of the beetle threat, and i was hypervigilant and paranoid all night because i was wearing a cute lil strapless sundress and there were just SOOOO MANY WAYS a beetle could get inside it if it wanted to! so i was constantly like, hugging my arms real close to my chest to try to block any beetles from getting in, and/or i would sorta grab the bottom of my dress to sorta hold it tight against my legs so there was no room for any fuckin intruders.

then somehow????????? we wound up walking back to her place in nearly pitch black darkness through a forest???? i dont remember how or why that happened lmfao but the only light was a dim lil rinky dink cell phone light a la 2009 motorola razor lmaoooo and the whole time im like please god PLEASE GOD do NOT LET ME RUN INTO ANY BEETLES!!!!

and i was sooooo sure i'd escaped, randi. i was SO POSITIVE that i made it unscathed!

fast forward to after my mamma picks me up and im back at home. i gotta pee so i go to the bathroom. hike up my dress.

and feel against my fingers the grotesquely smooth and disturbingly flexible elytra of my most soulless and hideous enemy, the monstrosity that is the European Chafer Beetle. 😡Cue the screaming and crying.

TO THIS VERY DAY, as soon as i see one of those lil pieces of shit when im outside at night, i take my ass in the house RIGHT QUICK. i hate them. I HATE THEM OH MY GODDDDDDD! theyre not even supposed to BEEEEEE HEEERRREEEEE!!!!!!! WHYYYY DID THEY TERRORIZE ME SO!!!! I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO THEM! I'M A BUG LOVER! I LOVE BUGS! I DIDN'T DESERVE THEIR WRATH!!!!

but yeah, they're called european chafer beetles lmao.