#ive been playing a lot of pokemon white lately

[rodoot-doodles]

im so normal about these guys

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Could I mayhaps ask for your thoughts on each of the Box Legendary Pokemon?

*cracks knuckles* SURE! let's do this

Gold and Silver: I actually don't feel suuuuper too strongly about Ho-oh and Lugia, tbh--though i will say they both have more solid designs than. A Lot of other johto Pokemon imo LMAO. I liked Lugia a lot when I was a kid and that affection has waned a bit as I got older but I do still think it's cool. They both have pretty solid lore as far as Legendaries go, I'm just not particularly attached to 'em...something like a Legends Johto game really has the potential to do something cool with 'em (I feel like with Ho-oh especially) and I do kinda hope we eventually get to see that.

Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald: MY HOMEEEEE Hoenn box Legendary trio sooo near and dear to me...Ruby was my first game Groudon was my first Legendary but I think he's kind of just ok. I like Kyogre a lot more and I Love Rayquaza, definitely a long time favorite Legendary...they're really just a solid trio of Pokemon with some really cool designs and concepts at play, and I like the new lore and forms ORAS gave 'em. Kyogre's Pokemon Pinball boss fight kicks ass to this day and im not kidding.

Diamond, Pearl, Platinum: MY DEAR LATE MIDDLE SCHOOL/EARLY HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS I thinkkkk as a trio I think I might like Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina the best...Legendaries I never tire of seeing. Palkia is one of my all time favs, gazing so lovingly at my giant Palkia plush ive had for some 15 odd years...Giratina is too, honestly, Giratina fucking Rules (though I actually don't like its Origin form very much and never had...I'm an Altered Form Giratina girlie.) They're just all super solid designs and for Dialga and Palkia especially they really feel like perfect embodiments of The Game Theyre the Cover Of. Also I love Origin Form Dialga and Palkia sorry. Theyre my precious ugly as fuck horses.

Black, White, BW2: WELL. THESE MIGHT TRULY BE THE BEST ONES. Zekrom/Reshiram/Kyurem are not my favorite Trio, but together just everything they represent is so cool. One day we WILL see that Original Dragon so HELP ME GOD. I'm more impartial to Zekrom (i played Black and White 2) but it still has such a striking design, I have to say. Reshiram is an especially beautiful Pokemon and definitely one of my favorites. I have. So Many Reshiram cards and plushes HJFDJGDF And well some people don't like Black and White Kyurem for whatever reason, but well i simply have to say they have been making me crazy since high school and the concept of Pokemon Fusion Really in The Game will never not be fucking bonkers slash POS. i LOVE White Kyurem (go figure.) THATS MY FUCKIN FREEEAK

X & Y: i don't. like X & Y very much 🥴 I wish I liked Xerneas more but something about its design is just kind of lacking some 'oomph' ro me. It doesn't feel like a strong poster child for the Fairy type's debut. Despite everything Yveltal does go hard as fucking hell though I still like it a lot. I named the one I caught in Y HELLRAISER back in college and I was shocked they let me name it that.

Sun, Moon, Ultra Sun/Moon: ok nevermind scratch what I said about DPP Sun and Moon have my favorite Legendary Trio for absolute certain. GOD I WISH SUMO/USUM WERE BETTER GAMES!!!!! SOLGALEO LUNALA AND NECROZMA ARE ALL SO FUCKING COOOOL!!!!! DUSK MANE NECROZMA AND DAWN WINGS NECROZMA ARE SO FUCKING COOOL!!!!!!!!! NECROZMA FUCKING EATS THEM FOR POWER. Just in general fantastic designs all around, and it's so cool that Solgaleo and Lunala are Legendaries That Evolve.also i played Moon/UM but I have grown deeply fond of Solgaleo over the last year or so. As if it's my fault he looks like...no, I shant say.

Sword and Shield: I don't like SWSH very much either 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴which is a shame because Zacien and Zamazenta have really cool concepts and designs!! I love their old tattered beat up forms, I love that theyre siblings 🥺I love that the one that isnt Your box legendary goes with Hop, that's so so sweet and so so cool. I just wish SWSH had more of a..........yknow. story. to do anything else of any substance with them. Cool Legendaries in bad games...sad!

Scarlet and Violet: WELL. THESE MAY ALSO BE THE BEST ONES AND I'LL SAY IT WITH MY WHOLE CHEST. god, just. WOW. I like them both a lot but I'm especially fond of Miraidon, to absolute bits. This really feels like the most realized version of a box art Legendary that really truly is a Character in its own right, you get to spend that whole game with your dragon, it well and truly Is Your Friend and it's just fantastic. Theyre endlessly charming and silly and conceptually just so fucking cool. They killed someone. My motorcycle that eats sandwiches. My BUDDY!!! I named my Miraidon Delta Accel :^)

[meowsticmarvels]

whats on your mind rn in terms of Games ?

OOH FUN.... assuming you probably asked this bc most of my interests are games LOL but i jhave some Thoughts on games in General and the industry as a whole. buckle up!

- currently im playing. a lot of them obviously but my most recents are persona 5 tactica and the sims 4 :] - fav fav games EXCLUDING THE SPECIAL INTERESTS . - ghost trick, UT/DR, NITW, TS4 ( i havent played any other sims except the sims 2 pets for the 3ds im sorry.), super mario galaxy, goodbye volcano high - the special interest ones include pokemon (fav out of main series is sun/moon, black/white, and scarlet/violet, but i do like many spin offs like mystery dungeon), mii/wii games (i.e. wii sports), minecraft story mode, and the persona games (never finished one but i've reached various distances in P2IS-P5 excluding some spin offs and stuff like i havent started P5S or P2EP. favs r 3 + 4 + tactica) ^ ask me about any of those (or other ones i like i.e. gvh) i WILL ANSWER even if its something thatd be faster with google im better - underrated gems i'd say goodbye volcano high, death road to canada, chicory a colorful tale, signs of the sojourner, aviary attorney, tails noir, blanc. ghost trick to a lesser extent ig but the others are indie - current main wishlist (inc. ones i Will emulate): shin megami tensei V, devil survivor overclocked, fire emblem 3 houses, professor layton, pokemon black 2, persona q2, persona 3 reload ( I Want. Now. its on gamepass but i literally need everything related to it you dont get it.), wii play motion, twewy, and okami. OH also in stars and time and oneshot. also disco elysium and hylics look cool too. AND CASSETTE BEASTS. fuck i hate when every game looks good. need to play murder of sonic the hedgehog also. and looking forward to billy bust up. OH AND I NEED TO PLAY THE STANLEY PARABLE. AND BALDURS GATE 3 - i think the only game i really truly regret buying is 1-2 switch. im sorry it was good for like 2-3 weeks when the switch was new now i just do not care - i love you indie games i love you games that in general are not afraid to be weird and deviate from stuff. get crazy with it - video games r kind of an art form. if you think about it - industry kind of shit !!! stop laying off your devs!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!! its been bad lately even my dad (a QA tester) got laid off a game he was working rly well on because they abruptly cancelled it. ok - i don't care for most FPS games. not my thing. too stressful. not enjoyable for me that much. im more of an RPG guy but i'm open to new things i played like food maker apps when i was a kid - speaking of industry stuff crunch is another thing severely a major problem. and the thing with sag aftra approving ai voices in games. Stop!!!!!!! - i miss e3 :( was a fun thing to look forward to each year - game preservation is also a real issue. like ig i get saving money by killing the servers on old consoles but in nintendos case people still actively use them theyre not that old. kind of dumb. xbox i get it the 360's been out since 2005 but 3ds/wiiu things are younger than me chill out - HATE when good fun mobile games are cash grabby. like STFU its more annoying than anything when they make resources impossible to get without paying. whats the fucking fun in that. i'd rather it be an easy way out last resort than oh i can get like 1 gem every month by doing this BUT if i pay i can get 10 of them for like 10 dolar. like ok die - waiter! waiter! more transgender as hell games please! (i.e. goodbye volcano high. that game changed lives) - also we need more autistic as hell games and i mean canonically. and not fucking Creepy Autism Simulator - more and better accessibility settings!!! i personally dont need many myself but it's important to me that others are able to play a game without severe issues due to disability. indie games doing great abt this based on feedback though ive seen a lot of good ones - any streetpassers in the chat thats all sorry it was long but i have a lot of thoughts abt Games in general. if theres any in particular u wanna hear abt shoot me an ask!!! can be one not on here i'm open to reccomendations or just things ive gathered from people who have :]

[hooshizzoria]

Hi hooshiiiii tell me something that happened to you recently =3

hi allie!!! ive been playing pokemon white 2 a lot lately and finally beat the league :D!! i realized that with my lilligants ability being own tempo, quiver dance and then petal dance strats are cracked cause she doesnt get confused afterwards

[radramblog]

On Pokemon Difficulty Hacks

When romhacking Pokemon first got big, you saw many an attempt to make proper fresh experiences and truly new games. Naranja, Quartz, Ruby Destiny and the like. The ambitious attempts of people who didn’t know just how much effort would be required to finish anything remotely resembling a finished product, though in fairness. Romhackers didn’t have teams, usually, maybe a couple helpers for spriting or beta testers, but the majority of people just wouldn’t have the time, energy, or lasting ambition to make something like that work.

In this era, where tools were limited but popularity was growing, it was perhaps unsurprising that many other hackers went for the “386” style of hack. Because, frankly, one of the first things someone is going to think of when it comes to making a Pokemon fangame is “what if you could catch all the Pokemon in one game?”. And from there, the train of thought naturally continues- if the player isn’t as restricted in teambuilding as the usual Regional Pokedex system makes them, why not have that for the NPCs as well? And while I’m at it, the games are usually really easy, and everyone playing them is going to be an enfranchised Pokemon fan, so why not pump up the difficulty a bit? Hence, the difficulty hack was born.

I suspect you can attribute much of the root of this to one man- Drayano, easily one of the most well-known romhackers around. The creator of Sacred Gold/Storm Silver, Fire Red Omega, Blaze Black/Volt White (and BBVW2), and of course, Renegade Platinum. I don’t well enough know if Dray popularized this kind of hack or just followed an existing trend, but (with the exception of FRO) the versions he created ended up being, and probably still are today, the definitive difficulty romhacks for their respective original titles. They weren’t just difficult, but they had a level of effort put into tuning their difficulty that most were unable to replicate- especially considering how difficult DS hacking was at the time and especially in Renegade Platinum.

Dray’s hacks were the only real hacks of their kind that I can think of getting major attention. They’re difficult but fair, making for a good gameplay experience, and thereby a good watching experience as youtubers, let’s players, and streamers flock to do playthroughs and catch ‘em alls and Nuzlockes. The nature of this kind of project means that only one version is really going to stand tall- sure, you could play Bloody Diamond or Obsidian, but why would you when you could just play Renegade Platinum? I will acknowledge that Obsidian was possibly the best Platinum hack before RenPlat, but its age is showing. The only exception I can think of is Fire Red Omega- owing to Gen 3 hacking being significantly easier and better explored, it had competitors, such as Yet Another Fire Red Hack by DoesntKnowHowToPlay or Fire Red Advanced by Z-nogyroP, among many others.

For the record, I have no doubt that with DS hacking becoming easier and better understood, SGSS, BBVW, and even RenPlat will be replaced in time. Possibly even soon- the scene got much bigger last year on account of breakthroughs and also people being stuck inside.

I would have thought, in 2021, that difficulty hacks would likely have died out, that they would have been replaced as resources such as disassembly/decompilation and the CFRU make more complex projects significantly easier. I was, surprisingly, wrong, though the nature of the games has changed a lot. Previous hacks in this discussion served as more difficult versions of existing games, with more freedom in teambuilding and some added features. But the modern “difficulty hack” is another beast entirely. The two I’d like to highlight in particular are Radical Red and the Kaizo games.

RadRed is the culmination of the aforementioned CFRU (Complete Firered Upgrade), a demonstration of its capabilities in porting both the entire 2021 catalogue of Pokemon into a game from 2004, but in showing the advances in AI and modern Pokemon mechanics (with refinement) to push the limits of how hard a Pokemon game could be. Every major fight plays like a competitive match, with the average playthrough necessitating frequent team rebuilding, and dedicated EV training and IV breeding. Radical Red (aside from basically stealing the best name I could ever use for a Romhack) is extremely difficult, requiring both a tactical mind and a bottomless well of Pokemon knowledge to play well.

The Kaizo games, by one Sinister Hooded Figure, are difficult in a different way entirely. Blue and Crystal Kaizo are actually getting older by this point, both of them releasing in 2014, but 2017’s Emerald Kaizo is the one that is getting the most buzz as of late. The Kaizo games (named for Kaizo Mario World) are crushingly difficult, built to be Nuzlocked and make you suffer doing it. An accelerated level curve, NPCs featuring legendary Pokemon that you have no access to (including Blue Kaizo giving your Rival a Mew from the very first battle), and the earlier games having extensive edits to maps necessitating fighting every battle, churning through dozens of Wilds in extended endurance segments, and fighting bosses and accessing resources in extremely inopportune ways. Emerald Kaizo has less of this but adds difficulty in the form of expert-level AI and the game forcing you into loads and loads of treacherous double battles. In addition, while Radical Red adds future additions and competitive-style gameplay, the Kaizo games lean into their rage game roots, with many a trainer using high-variance moves or items like the Quick Claw. A Critical Hit is problematic in a normal game, in Kaizo they’re ruinous. RadRed is the culmination of the years of Fire Red development, while Kaizo presents vanilla mechanics pounding you as hard as possible.

It may come as some surprise that I’m actually not a huge fan of either of these.

As much as I love difficulty, the experiences these games present just fall on the level of unfun for me. Grinding is boring, and they often necessitate that, and I’m not a huge fan of every single opponent being a significant enough threat that I need to pay serious attention in every single battle. It’s frustrating, because I want to like them, but they’re just too much.

But these games remain popular, and I think a large reason for that is simply because watching other people play them is quite entertaining. Streamers and Youtubers have flocked to these games, challenging their might, and often failing to conquer them. They’re an experience best had while slightly removed, it appears- the approachability barrier broached by having a proxy.

I’m sure people exist that are superfans of this kind of hack. I know they do, since I’ve seen folks who’ve done multiple playthroughs of Radical Red, and those who’ve stuck it out to actually complete a Nuzlocke of each and every Kaizo game. But they aren’t for me, and that’s okay. I am not surprised that these hacks continue to stay popular, and I expect them to continue and stay relevant as long as Pokemon Romhacking continues. With that in mind, I think I’d prefer more Dray-style hacks at this point.

You can find all of Dray’s hacks on his Drive here. Radical Red can be found at this link, and here’s Blue, Crystal, and Emerald Kaizo. And….fuck it here’s YAFRH and Fire Red Advanced, they’re both classics at this point.

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

ok here’s the post of Me answering to your hot takes!! i got a grand total of 15 asks so!!!! time to have fun

pokèmon hot takes by my lovely followers lets go gang

anon: Pokemon went way fucking downhill post gen 5 and hasn't even come close to it since

@the-fifteen​: Last good pokemon games were Diamond/Pearl/Platinum - Black/White. Beyond that point quality went down. Also Pokemon Ranger are the best spin-offs

hardly an unpopular opinion, half of the community agrees with you and personally? i don't. i do think the games should focus a lot more of their difficulty since more often than not it holds your hand a little too much and i personally didnt like kalos at all if not for the elite four and lysandre, but i REALLY enjoyed oras, sumo and swsh so. bad take OPs. also tho i never played ranger but i heard that a lot of ppl really likes it, so once again hardly an unpopular opinion

anon: my unpopular Pokémon opinion is that I do not care about stats and strats I am here for cute Pokémon ONLY. if Pokémon ain't cute than they ain't in the party

@pisceancryptid​: idk if im late for this but my Pokemon Opinion is that minmaxing has ruined pokemon for me i used to just go with the one i liked most and didnt care about IVs and natures and stuff much but now i do and i hate it, can i go back to how i used to be instead of feeling bad that im using a sub-par 'mon

anon how does it feel to be right idk fams i dont care about competitive, give me the cute pokes. and with cute i also mean grimmsnarl

as for piscean, tbh don’t feel bad for it!!! just jump in the game without caring for it, who cares! my teams have never been balanced in the slightest and never really have me big issues in the games, play the game as you want!!!

@dizzymosquito​: Most of the 'rival' characters you have in the games have been completely milk toast/unmemorable/melodramatic or otherwise boring as dirt. Gary (OG Red/Blue rival) is the only one to really make any impact in his own right.

tbh on one side, i HEAVILY disagree. some WERE boring (coughs at trevor tierno hugh calem/serena and brendan/may) or criminally underused (coughs at trace, gladion and shauna), but i personally really enjoy the rival characters and i think they have very good plots, too! some are there just to be your friend, like berry and hau, but most of them feel like they have something to prove! wally overcoming his health and fears warmed my heart and so seeing cheren, bianca, bede and marnie finding their place; klara and havery are HILARIOUS,and i could spend an entire week talking about how much hop and silver made me cry. heck, silver is one of my all-time favorite characters in the entire series!! BUUUUUUUUT on the other side, i agree that green feels like the only character i could call a rival. silver is an antagonist for half of the game, klara and avery are obviously seen as a joke, and everyone else doesnt really feel like someone i have to defeat. green, on the other hand, feels GOOD kicking down!!!!

anon: Stunfisk is annoying

not an unpopular opinion, youre right but go back to hot take school

anon: Seeing people be creepy/weird about gardevoir is the most annoying fucking thing and it makes me so mad. i wish people on the internet knew how to be normal rather than obsess over something when it shows the slightest feminine quality in its design and honestly as much as I like it i wish it didn't exist so I didn't have to deal with liking it with the knowledge that people are Like That about it.

you're right and you should say it, and this is one of the main reasons most of my gardevoir characters/gardevoir i GIVE to my cahracters are male. but also i found much more mewtwo porn than gardevoir's so. yeah.

anon: Chairman Rose isn't Satan, no; he's a "villain" who only fights you because of a scheduling error and he's otherwise actually a really big sweetheart we promise pleasesupportyourlocalmegacorporation. SwSh thinks hypercapitalism is fun and cool right down to letting you ship off your Pokémon to work in the gig economy

hey real quick did we play the same game op i do agree Rose Isn't Satan, he's more of a morally grey character in my book, but you're REALLY reaching when it comes to your second point. i know swsh's plot isn't exactly the best written one but the hypercapitalism felt really criticized to me? idk, like!! bede and hop get HEAVILY fucked up in their hope to be under the spotlight/follow the steps of someone in power, Capitalist Icon Rose gets demonized by his choices (btw he wasnt the villain bc he rescheduled, he was because he felt like THE ENERGY FOR THE REGION WASN'T LASTING TOO LONG AND WAS WILLING TO RISK THE APOCALYPSE TO GET MORE OF IT!!!!THAT'S CAPITALISM 101), and its heavily implied that some gym leaders really don't vibe with their workplace, mostly piers (who the game heavily sides with), nessa and lowkey melony and gordie also with the "you send pokemon to gain money so thats bad", fam. do you also not sell nuggets and rare bones? it was barely about the economy and more like “here’s an easy way to gain EXP for the pokemon you dont use in-game but you use in raids and stuff” idk if you needed straws you couldve just asked instead of reaching that much

anon: I think that, while some animations are iffy in sword and shield, a lot of them are really fun/funny. The idea that Meltan and Spiritomb HAVE to follow directly behind you is nitpicky and takes away from the fact that these are pokemon who are not very mobile whatsoever (also it's really funny!!!!! Whatever happened to laughing at pokemon being slightly inept!!!)

tbh the Pokèmon Walking Behind You thing is hilarious. with drednaw being one of my aces its hilarious seeing the poor guy taking one step every 10 of mine?? idk its really super funny and GOD I CANT IMAGINE SPIRITOMB,,

anon: I don't find leon attractive or charming.... Like At All

wrong, ignorant and wrong

@haematophiliac​: THE ONLY REASON GEN 1 IS SO LOVED ABOVE THE REST IS CAUSE GEN 1 WAS NEW AND ORIGINAL AT THE TIME.

YOURE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT LOUDER!!!!! gen 1 is overrated and didn't age well, no matter how many times you remake it, don't change my mind you CAN'T

anon: Raihan is overrated

...fellas is it ok to say i dont like raihan at all asndmg,, NOW DONT GET ME WRONG i asw a LOT of interpretations from the rpc that are Very Good and honestly makes me like the character, but everytime i get back to the game i remember that i really cant stand this guy

@vampirefantasy​: i didn't play gold/silver as a kid so the hype for those games are lost on me. sapphire holds a lot more weight bc of that. also the starters in g/s don't appeal to me very much

tbh this comes from someone who started with gen 2 so they hold a special place in my heart, but i do agree that silver is VERY good and underrated imo??? thats mostly due alpha sapphire being the first game i played properly after leaving pokèmon behind for a long while, so hoenn is very important to me as for the starters in gsc, well,,, theyre the only starters that REALLY makes me think when it comes to choose them bc i love them all equally, so i disagree with that :°>

anon: While I think gigantamaxing is interesting, it annoys me knowing that in 1 or 2 more pokemon generations, it's undoubtedly going to be phased out of the game/lore entirely because pokemon can never let something stay in the game

 youre so right!!!!!!!!!! so right like this comes from someone who personally didnt care much for megaevos, but it’s kinda sad gamefreak goes “heres a new thing!!!! forget about it for the next game tho!” it happened with triple battles, it happened with megaevolutions, it happened with z-moves and its of course going to happen with gigantamax. i get its meant to make each region special, but it kinda sucks :c

anon: my hot take is I still play Pokémon go. I am the king of my town's gyms they are almost all mine

hottest take: pokeGo is better now than when it first game out. give me your code OP

[clownkiwi]

hehe, so since im in a video game mood rn and thinking a lot about old video games/video games i love, if you were to ask me “hey ruby!!! what games/sequels/trilogies would you like to see remade???” well, here’s which ones i think should get remade: (this’ll be a pretty long post, so you can just click the link down below if ya want to read the whole thing)

out of any old final fantasy game that should get a remake like the final fantasy 7 remake, if i had to choose one, it would have to be final fantasy 6. that’s just one of my favorite final fantasy games (right up there with final fantasy 7, that is), and like. final fantasy 6 is kind of the perfect bridging gateway game between the fantasy/medieval/middle earth early final fantasy games (from 1-5) to the futuristic/modern/grounded to earth final fantasy games (7, 8, 10, 13 & 15), so like. realistically??? final fantasy 6 is probably one of the only few games i think should get a final fantasy 7 remake-esque remake, and it is one that i think can work in that realistic style compared to something like. final fantasy 9 or final fantasy 4, ngl

super mario rpg, obviously, id love to see that game get a remake. maybe with like, a lot more characters (luigi & wario would work perfectly in there), any content they had to cut out, maybe add more to the game that we didn’t even think of that could work (like, not just story padding, maybe stuff like the koopalings, daisy, wart from mario 2). idk, id just like a super mario rpg remake done in a similar style to the link’s awakening switch remake

despite how important these games are to mario’s history as they are the first original handheld mario platformers, as well as introducing wario, another important mario character, it’s kinda weird how nintendo hasn’t really paid much attention to the super mario land trilogy, or even the wario land series. and while i think a new wario land game will certainly get everybody (myself included) very excited, id also get excited if the original mario land series got an all stars-esque remake. heck, id get excited if all the wario land games got remade too in their own package (like, the mario land trilogy will just have mario land 1, 2 & 3, while the wario land remakes can either start out with mario land 3, or virtual boy wario land, or even wario land 2)

i think the original paper mario trilogy of the 2000s should get their own remake/upscaled ports to the switch as well. stuff like paper mario 64 should obviously get remade from the ground up, while stuff like the thousand year door & super paper mario should get like. upscaled graphics, or even new content (like in the thousand year door, there should be a whole sidequest or extra campaign dedicated to luigi’s own journeys that he goes on at the same time as mario’s, i think thatd b pretty neat & funny)

if any megaman game were to get a remake, i think they should be like. the original zero storyline megaman x games. like, ya know, megaman x1-5. and while ik games like megaman x1-3 already get a lot of love, and megaman x5 doesnt really get as much hatred (i think??? i never finished that game), i think megaman x4 should get a lot more love. not only is it my favorite megaman x game, but like. it has a pretty good storyline, each character gets their own unique story, and like. i just like a lot about megaman x4, i really do, and im sad it commonly gets referred to as the worst megaman x game just because of its voice acting. it gets a lot of flack for its voice acting, and honestly, if the voice acting was just mediocre or average, then i really think a lot more people will appreciate this game. like, in my eyes, if megaman x1-5 got remakes in the cel-shaded rendered style of megaman 11 or dragon ball fighterz, then thatd b cool. id also b down to a new megaman x game too aoisdjfiaos

ok, so, kirby games!!!! ik stuff like kirbys adventure & kirby’s super star got remakes, and while they’re great, id love to see more kirby games get remakes!!! and i got two seperate candidates that’d work. and that first one will be a remake of the “dark matter” trilogy of kirby games. games like kirby’s dream land 2, kirby’s dream land 3, & kirby 64. i think these games are pretty important in the kirby series as not only are these the first instance of the deep lore seen in later kirby games (stuff like return to dream land, planet robobot, and star allies), but like. dream land 2 was the first game to introduce kirbys animal allies, which have become staples for a lot of the kirby games (dream land 3, wow, thats all i could really think of oasidjfio). so like, yea!!! thatd b pretty epic

another kirby “trilogy” id love to see get remade or even get remasters of onto switch would have to be the “return to dream land” games. games like kirby’s return to dream land and even the 3ds games that were built off of that: kirby’s triple deluxe & kirby’s planet robobot. i mean, these games are fairly recent, and stuff like return to dream land isn’t even 10 years old yet. but like, i think if these games got upscaled graphics/models & resolution, as well as a bunch of new/cut content, it can also work

oooooooooooooooooo boy, there are a lot of sonic games id love to see get remade considering i think about sonic alot. stuff like sonic 3 & knuckles getting the sonic 1, 2 & cd treatment (get upgraded ports to ios & android, a bunch of new content from sonic mania, etc), as well as said sonic 1 & 2 mobile ports get released to steam or other consoles. itd be cool to see shadow the hedgehog get an upgraded port to the switch for a low price. maybe even see sonic x-treme get completed. but if theres any sonic game id love to see get a full on, worked from the ground up remake, it’d have to be the sonic dreamcast trilogy. and by that, i mean sonic games that were worked off of the same dreamcast technology/engine. games like sonic adventure 1, 2 & sonic heroes. and like, not just stuff like the gamecube or steam ports. i mean, full on remakes with updated models, updated animations & cutscenes, updated rendering, updated voice acting, updated everything!!! with that, id love to see the chao garden get a full blown overhaul, with more deeper chao breeding, more games to play with your chao, more special, unique chaos & even stuff like chao bonuses to the main campaigns. and even somethign that’d be cooler would be like. either free updates or DLC that would add more campaigns to these games with new characters (like the babylon rogues, the classic characters, silver & blaze, etc), and like. i KNOW thats a lot to work on, but like, i think a lot of people would appreciate that. plus, i consider the sonic adventure games would be a perfect introduction to the sonic series, i think these games could get a lot more people hooked onto the series!!! new & old fans alike!!! but, thats just my thots, and this would be impossible realistically. id still want it 2 happen tho 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

while ik everyone wants that gen iv remake, may i recommend a??? gen v remake??? pokemon black & white are still one of my favorite pokemon games, they were very close to me growing up, and i. just have so much goddamn appreciation and love for this game!!!! i think its one of game freaks more underappreciated games, and ik there a ton of people that can agree with me on that!!! it was just such a different and unique experience, with such a deep story, really good and underappreciated and underloved pokemon designs, and just. i’d love it if we really got a gen 5 remake, especially seeing how much game freak has been putting a lot more gen 5 nostalgia in all of their recent products (from a ton of gen 5 pokemon appearing in detective pikachu, to gen v pokemon getting galarian forms in pokemon sword & shield, and even gen v pokemon appearing in a lot more spin offs lately). like. trust me, pokemon black and white isn’t really as bad as people made it off to be in 2011. it really is a modern masterpiece in video games, i really recommend checking it out and begging game freak to give it a remake about as much as yinz have been begging game freak to remake diamond & pearl

obviously mario 64, sunshine, & galaxy 1 & 2 should get full on remakes. yinz know i wanted one this whole year, and im very disappointed we got these barely upgraded ports to switch instead. thats it on that, i dont need to go into further detail

ummmmmmmmmm, yea, thats kinda it. i cant think of any other games id love to see get remade. ummmmmmmm let me know what u think about this list, and tell me whatever type of other games you’d love to see get remade!!!

thats it ruby out

[sewerpigeonart]

sorry for not havin anything to post lately;; i havent been doing much creative wise, or at all rly, and i could blame it on "a lot going on" but that's not tru ive just fallen out of habit and when i do that its SO hard to pick up again

however ive been playing pokemon white and its motivating me to redraw my old fakemon......... 👀

[s3venpounds]

1 - 102

ASK MEE RIDICULOUSLY PERSONAL THINGSSSSSSSSSSSS YEEEEEEEEEEEE i love this shit

thanks for the ask anon, at this point im sure yall already know everything about me but hey whats a couple more questions c:

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood?

YIKES tough right off the bat huh? it would have to be the opening to digimon frontier ayyyyyyyyyy i still listen to that shit every fucking month. its that or disney’s hercules i can go the distance that shit was just MMMMMMM good shit2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet?

yep a blue and white love bird my family called quick silver we taught it to do adorable little tricks like pick up our pencils when we do homework and it rolls away3.) have you ever been drunk?

hehe yeah fun times4.) have you ever tried drugs?

yup! curious about trying more hard drugs but also i dont wanna get addicted or like idk die/get arrested5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said?

ALL THE FUCKING TIME. infact at work i told a customer we didnt have a thing and the customer was like whats that right behind u, and it was the thing they were looking for i felt so stupid lmao6.) have you ever made someone cry?

yeah.7.) has someone ever made you cry?

yeah.8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it.

honestly idk if i ever have been in love. I would think that i have but yknow you never know what the future holds so looking back something in the past could pale in comparison to something in the future9.) which came first the chicken or the egg?

the chicken, evolved from some other bird10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them?

dunno if im part of the community by status but i wholeheartedly approve and support them. speaking just for myself though I just think I’m me and nothing else. whether im non binary or male or female or something else doesn’t matter to me. im attracted to who im attracted to, feel what i feel, and do what i want with a hint of salt. If plants can have like 10 000 genders or whatever, then anyone can be whatever they want unless its something fucked up like age fluid lmao if youre 60 youre 60 even if you have the “mind of a 14 year old”11.) how many siblings do you have?

412.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love?

yeah in fact just recently13.) are you a good cook?

fuck no. i fucking wish tho, not even a good cook i just wanna be able to copy recipes on tasty’s facebook page hahaha14.) what is your favorite tv show?

right now i dont have one and i definitely dont watch tv shows often unless you count anime then haikyuu!! or My hero Academia15.) what is the last movie you cried during?

i think it was a tyler perry movie something about a funeral and a family reunion honestly i cry when any movie has a really strong family sorta bonding specially if the family was broken at first and they all healed together and became closer as a result16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)

none, i did cry whe i was listening to wild wild love by GRL and pitbull for some reason? 17.) do you have a middle name?

nope i do have a nickname given to me by distant relatives18.) have you been out of your country?

yeah thankfully ive been out of canada multiple times19.) are you a chocolate fan or not?

love chocolate in fact im drinking hot chocolate right now, little cold going on so i need it20.) how many people have you kissed?

lips? less than 15, in general no matter where? couldnt count21.) what is your favorite album?

the only album i loved in its entirety has been marianas trench master piece theatre22.) what is your dream car?

2003 dodge viper23.) what is your lucky/favorite number?

i always wanted to be ironic and say 13 but i’ve kinda been leaning towards 10 like hinata’s jersey number24.) what is your favorite flower?

lilacs cuz the color25.) books or movies, why?

movies, less thinking for me26.) have you ever been on a blind date?

nope but i’d love to try it27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you?

yep28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?

i dont think i have? not consciously.29.) what thing do you symbolize love with?

an act of self sacrifice or something handmade or personally tailored to the individual receiving30.) do you have neat handwriting?

i adore neat handwriting! its like a breath of fresh air, simple and precise to read, and it feels like you can read faster when it is31.) do you have a friend with benefits?

nope but i’d love to have one!32.) do you want a friend with benefits?

just said but yeah i’d love one!33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be?

A hero.34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?

nope but my body refuses to drink any more alcohol once i get to my good buzz point. like all alcohol makes me wanna throw up the second i get past the point its almost like my mind and body are two seperate beings lmao35.) have you ever met someone famous?

i think i have? one time when i went bowling with some relatives, there was a crowd gathering around this blonde dude who was playing house of the dead and this one guy in the crowd approached me saying “ do you know who he is? hes famous?” and then i blanked out after that because i just wanted to watch someone play and mentally check out for an hour36.) how many concerts have you been to?

3 concerts! all which were very fun !37.) which concerts have you been to?

one was an ed sheeran concert for his divide album, another was a marianas trench concert in klondike days edmonton, and the last was a country concert im not sure who it was my sister wanted me to go with her38.) do you have a hidden talent?

i can match any generation 1 pokemon just from their cries some generation 2 but beyond that only a handful from each other generation39.) what do you do when you’re stressed?

masturbate. honestly its the only sure fire thing i’ve done that clears my head for the longest time and relaxes me lmao40.) do you think money can buy love?

of course! just depends how you use it! like if youre just throwing money at random people like “hey love me” itll be fake, but if you say, pay off a struggling student’s loans in full and give em a good fresh start im sure theyll be grateful to you for years to come. or if you pay for someone to get super super expensive surgery so they can die from old age rather than a disease or something then yeah they’d love you forever41.) how old would you date?

honestly not sure, i havent really tried dating anyone a lot older than me i usually date within 4-5 years older or younger? though i dont think i’d see a problem dating someone 10 years older than me42.) have you ever done something illegal?

hehe. ye.43.) what is your biggest fear?

death. too long to elaborate44.) what is an unusual fear you have?

fear of what happens after death45.) can you drive?

nope but i plan to learn how to and take my exam within the next 2 ish months46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?

of course! as many evolutions that were made common place theres bound to be evolutions that somehow spurred legends and mysteries47.) do you believe in karma?

of course! 100% of the time i expect some stranger to just walk up to me and start slapping me or punching me or throwing water or soda in my face for something i did, though i also prepare myself to say” okay i probably deserved that but can i ask why?”48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?

need to love physical affection, if not i dont think i can last with them, physical affection is so important to me its just as important as saying i love you, it like reassures me that theyre there with me in that moment and that theyre happy and just. physical stuff tells me a lot ok49.) do looks matter?

on first impression? oh hell yeah. keep in mind strictly first impression. im not gonna cut off a potential friendship or relationship because someones not my type or whatever i cut people off if they do something fucked up and horrible50.) does size matter?

to some people im not one of them51.) who is the last person you forgave?

I can’t really remember, i forgive people for small stuff all the time but with big personal mistakes i usually hold grudges52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?

French Vanilla53.) what languages can you speak besides english?

none but i plan to learn sign language eventually that and visaya54.) ever been on a plane?

yep! i’ve been out of the country so that definitely means by plane i dont know anyone who goes on roadtrips long enough to get out of the country55.) ever been on a boat?

yeah! i thought i’d be seasick but turns out i enjoy being on the water its kinda calming56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t?

yeah my childhood friend ralph, cool dude but our friend groups and interests just kinda diverged57.) are there any friendships you regret?

yeah..58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?

oh hell yeah! there was this one girl who always ate at the same cafeteria as me and my friend group and i regret not inviting her over and being her friend59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours?

yeah! specially during summer it really sucks and i only do that when my mental state is at a record low self punishment i spose60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am?

hell to the yeah! its the best! like a music video or adventure but it really just helps me clear my mind. oh wait i guess that kinda counts for the calms me down thing so late night walks and masturbating bahahaha61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through?

yep! one time with an ex girlfriend! we stayed from 2 am till 10 am i think singing songs and talking and cuddling on those big swings with a bowl at the bottom62.) are you scared of rollercoasters?

NO !!! I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS!!!! im kind of an adrenaline junkie!63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually?

i personally feel like a 3 but thats probably because im already used to a 7 because of old issues i need sorted out that i’ve just kinda grown to live with the stress64.) do you have any plans this weekend?

considering its sunday? no, next weekend? im working65.) do you miss anyone right now?

yeah. i miss em a lot.66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?

K,Z, and C i miss em67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

the power to fly or have wings that can make me fly. I associate flying with true freedom. 68.) who is your favorite superhero?

All Might69.) are you dirty minded?

ridiculously70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?

im too lazy for that shit bro…71.) how many kids, if any, do you want?

2 preferably? 72.) who is your biggest OTP?

im not super into shipping just cause it can get pretty toxic but asami and korra73.) what is your favorite food?

aw man im too much of a carnivore to pick just one thing man. uhh fried chicken or this one pork dish my mom makes thats super easy to make its like canned beans with this orange sweet kinda sauce and pork belly slices and potato chunks omggggg i eat so much of that. the last time my mom made that i actually ate the whole thing and i had to make more for everyone else lmao74.) do you want to be married one day?

yeah. it’d be nice not to have to worry about being alone for the rest of my life75.) dogs or cats?

dogs are great and so are cats though i have more patience for cats than i do for dogs. dogs to me are like energetic little kids and thats fine as long as im not dealing with them for an extended period amount of time i get drained pretty easy. cats are like roommates show you love and attention when they want but arent opposed to keeping you company the whole day76.) do you drink enough water daily?

i have no fukcing clue i literally just drink water whenever i have an excuse to drink.77.) have you ever seen a shooting star?

not that i know of? like theres a few times i think i did but i wanna see one thats like unmistakably a shooting star or comet thatd be neat too78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?

not long term? yeah id love to, just to feel what zero g feels like and the view of earth

79.) how many best friends do you have?

3 ish……..80.) when was the last time you cried?

a few nights ago when they stopped talking to me i cried like a little baby lmao ahhhhhhhhhh yikes81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself?

nope82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed?

i think? there was this one dude who literally thought everything i said was genuinely funny though to this day i have no idea if he was serious or not. i also have not seen that dude ever since83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go?

Venice Italy.84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?

Lonely, Filth, dependant85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person?

no, if my loyalty gets in the way of what i think is the right thing to do then i disregard the loyalty86.) what is your favorite season and why?

Winter. for some reason growing up i always felt like winter was unappreciated and i had this train of thought like “ even the cold needs to be loved” that and most of my wardrobe is just winter stuff. plus midnight walks feel so much nicer since its so cold out you know for a fact no one else would be walking around because whos gonna wait in a dark alley at -30 to mug, rape or kidnap someone.87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it?

nope. if i ever said it i meant it.88.) do you know how to play any instruments?

not reliably. like i know some songs on guitar from youtube tutorials but i can’t play the guitar in all circumstances yknow like i learned the song without mastering the basics89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not?

nope. i need like silence to sleep but ambient noise is preferred. music gives my brain something to focus on and thus stay awake90.) what are you allergic to?

pet fur or feathers and stuff. my eyes get puffy, my nose clogs up and my skin itches91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like?

a sad, extremely rich person and a happy, extremely poor person. to show me what to be grateful for92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?

huh, thats tough… if its haikyuu i’d love to be daichi, if its my hero academia its hawks or deku93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why

Gal Gadot, I feel like she’d be such a positive influence on my life and that thing she does to people who are shorter than her where she cups their face in her hands omg i’d melt everytime. i just kinda wanna be like a little brother to her lol

94.) are you outgoing?

i would say i am?95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to?

oh fuck yeah im fucking gutless96.) are you a good flirt?

nope. awkward and weird af97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down?

yup all the time. part of life98.) which planet is your favorite?

never really thought about planets much but i do stan pluto as a planet99.) are you superstitious?

to an extent100.) are you a good listener?

i’d like to think i am101.) are you a good kisser

also like to think i am probs not102.) would you kiss any of your friends?

all of them honestly well not all of them. mostly cuz yknow theyre taken or theyd probably hate me if i did some of them are super defensive about physical intimacy

[bluinary]

Tagged by @annieleonhardt

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag

me phone

wallet

Keys

fidget cube

notebook and pen

Five Things In My Bedroom:

posters of shows ive been in

lots of books

clothes, everywhere

assorted half-filled notebooks

bottles filled with positive notes from others

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life:

Become 100% fluent in Japanese

Learn to play the guitar

Finish a multi-chapter story (almost there!)

Be a mother

Become a teacher

Five Things That Make Me Happy:

My friends. You all know who you are. <3

Acting/ performing

Working out

Pokemon (and, of course, assorted anime. Armin Arlert, specifically.)

Expensive coffee

Five Things On My To-Do List:

Get a new job

Become semi-fluent in Spanish

Finish Icarus & I

Pack for college/ clear out my room for storage

Shift my life across the state of Texas bc school

Five Things People May Not Know About Me:

I’ve been in theatre for two years (Varsity class for one year), and have been in 6 shows, four mini acting gigs for the public, and led one musical (Cinderella. A crazy show, that one.)

I have bipolar disorder and ADHD, and have lived a large chunk of my life in a large, incredibly dysfunctional family. Living with it and them has been a work in progress. I think college will do me some good.

I was in Varsity high school choir these past four years, and was the President the last two years. Got perfect scores in our annual competition, as well as regional and state Solo & Ensemble competition! Should get my varsity jacket in a month or so.

I may come off as intelligent, but I can be exceptionally airheaded IRL. I’m not nearly as knowledgeable as I make myself out to be.

I write songs, and half of them are raps. Performed one, recently, at a showcase, and it got great reception, which I’m really proud of.

Name?: Julianna

Nicknames?: Juli (what I go by), JuNANA, Jul, Jewel, Julia, Julio, Julius, Buli

Zodiac?: Virgo

Sexual Orientation?: Bi

Ethnicity?: Black, white, an insignificant percentage of Choctaw

Favorite Fruit?: Apple

Favorite Season?: Fall

Favorite Flower?: Either carnations or roses (basic, I know)

Favorite Scent?: Vanilla/brown sugar

Favorite Animal?: Orca whales. they’re so cool

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: Coffee, def. Tea, if I feel like treating myself.

Cat or dog?: WHY NOT BOTH

Dream Trip?: hOOOO BOI do i wanna live in Japan. The culture seems so parallel to ours (U.S.); I think it’d be good for me to experience it. On top of that, I’d love to live in a place where you can just walk everywhere.

Number of Followers?: 424

What do I post about?: LOTS of snk, good chunk of Miraculous and Gorillaz, plenty of memes, and, mostly and specifically, Eremika, Armin Arlert, and Aruani

Do I get asks on a regular basis?: Not really. People have been messaging me about my writing, occasionally, though, so that always makes my day.

Favorite Band?: Gorillaz.

Aesthetic?: Old books and classic plays, tea/coffee, bodies of water and forests of trees, sunshine OR rain (either is great), sketches among poetry, laughing so hard your stomach hurts, singing in the shower after an hour-long workout, 90′s anime, Neon Genesis Evangelion, lofi hip hop, vaporwave (its all over the place, I know)

Fictional Character I’d Date?: Hoo boy. Eren Jaeger got me thirsty, but honestly? Personality-wise, Avatar Aang (in his late teen years, of course). I feel like we would click.

Hogwarts House?: Gryffindor w a capital G

Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (used to be, anyway)

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi (does Uber count?)

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close at my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the united states

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone (technically, now, I do)

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone 

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

I tag @gg-swiggity @swinsword @thecrowsare-watching @psychedelic-memes @fulloffckingsins @spoilerarlert @forthedying @ceruleena @lyssala @wonderinghopingdreaming @allysonarro

[i-amusemyself]

All Emoji Asks.

🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".💭 do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?

[elvesofnoldor]

got tagged by @jedihighcouncil (thanks! Sorry this is a little late haha)

Nickname: my mom has 234802394 unofficial nicknames for me and they are all...technically...in Chinese. she has one official nickname for me and its also in Chinese.  Star sign: cancer Height: 5′7? (idk i should be b/w 1.69-1.70cm lol. i’d like to think im 1.70cm) Time right now: 10:25pm Last thing I Googled: star wars rebels season 1 Song stuck in my head: i have no idea what is called :\  Favorite music artists: im never too passionated abt musicians (these composers doing classical music in 19th century r exceptions lol). I’d say Leslie cheung but i genuinely hate these trashy ass mf canto pop songs :\\\ I like indie shits that features poc as band members, so im gonna go with....Bloc party? There is also this black canadian artist that goes with the name of “cold specks” and i luv her stuff too! I’ve been playing her songs on this radio show ive been doing cause i only aimed to feature indie songs from artists of colour or bands consisted of mainly artists of colour. Speaking of which, I actually played one of the songs Oscar isaac covers in inside llwyen davis on the show too lmao, so i guess Oscar Isaac can count too??? If i gotta go with an established mainstream musician i’d go with Sia.  Last movie I watched: logan ( it could be “kubo and the two strings” tho) When did you create your blog: September 2013  Currently wearing: black to white gradient leggings, long sleeve shirt with a hoodie, black socks  Blog content: mostly star wars now, movies and a few tv shows. Obviously theres joke posts, a few bizzare shit posts, too much personal posts and some social justice content  Other blogs: i have a leslie cheung sideblog but that blog has been inactive for over a year cause i decided to only post original content on there and...its been very hard for me to open photoshop to do edits and gifs and graphics these days :(((  Do you get asks regularly: not at all tbh lol i used to get moderate amount of asks when i was in spn fandom Why did you choose your url: i love poe and i want to make my url related to his name! I also couldn’t think of something artsy to go with “poe” or “dameron”...well i could, but im not satisfied with any of urls i came up with so i resort to make a url that sounds as close i can get to his full name. Also I kinda want my url to be unmistakably... “star wars”?  Gender: cis girl Hogwarts house: pottermore sorts me into ravenclaw?? But honestly im not sure if im hufflepuff or ravenclaw and i dont really care Pokemon team: UM! the blue one??? i forgot lol its been a while  Favorite color: i always say “blue”, or “sapphire” for this kind of question, but honestly? blue gets boring for a while, lilac is probably my 2nd fav  Average amount of sleep: ...LOL! who the heck knows?? 5-6? These days i woke up at 6 or 7am and then fell asleep till 10, 11 or even 12 a lot sooooo Dream job: I would love to be an indie filmmaker making documentaries or fictional narratives but I also like to survive in a capitalist society! There r literally filmmakers out there who wins awards at film festivals but couldn’t pay their goddamn rent! Captalism is evil my dudes! Even awards don’t pay then what if you don’t get awards!  I’d also want to be a prof specialized in transnational Chinese cinema or whatever, but do i wanna get a phd after getting my masters tho? Also there aren’t that many universities out there with positions in humanities programs, and im not as scholarly as I should be. Tbh i love screenwriting, I’d probably try to write for feature films or maybe even tv shows, cause filmming on set is exhausting as fuck and i aint got the brains and passions for considering logistics as a director. 

tagging @sammywilson, @platanochips, @poefinn, @scoundrelhan @fineiljosten, @skygualker, @softdameron, @bodhiroks @jewneto (no pressuring in doing this guys!! Also while im pretty sure none of u mentions not wanting to be tagged in tag games, if you actually don’t like to be tagged, just tell me so i wouldn’t do it again <3) 

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. today cleo woke me up before 5 am. 

i had fallen asleep sometime after 1 so i was Not Happy. mom asked me what i  was doing up and i don’t remember if i actually responded or not. i let the dogs outside. wiley was a hassle to get back inside because it was kind of nice out. then as soon as i closed the door behind me and turned around diogi wanted to go outside, because she hadn’t wanted to go outside ten minutes previously. by the time i herded her over to the grass and blocked her off from wandering around the pool the sun was up. 

i went back to sleep even though my body was awake. i think i had craig dreams but they only made me mildly angry. i was mostly frustrated with the people around him. which has been happening in those dreams the last few times i’ve had them over the last, like, year and a half. 

then cleo woke me up by shrieking at 8, and also my alarm went off for some ungodly reason. i booted everyone else out of my bed and out of my room and closed the door. then cleo spent the next literal hour rattling my door and howling. i didn’t want to hurt her or anything, but i did want to cry. by the time she went downstairs to wake someone else up my alarm went off again. i slept in an extra 45 minutes despite the rattling starting up again sometime in the last 15 minutes of my “nap.” 

i was really too tired to do much today. i caught up on some comics, i watched a lot of not-video-game youtube videos, and i started looking up some resources for group-based activities around town. there was something that looked really cool that meets next tuesday... i think it’s all day, or in the evening, so it won’t conflict with therapy.

i had more pesto leftovers with mom. this time i let her start eating way before me so by the time i sat down her concert of disgusting vomit-inducing mouth noises was almost finished. in hell everyone communicates by chewing with their mouths open. the lip-smacking asmr videos make me want to scream and throw my computer.

i don’t actually, like, go and listen to them or anything. but it’s come up before.

sleep deprivation for this many nights in a row (5 i think? 6?) has reduced my patience level to approximately absolute zero. i was having trouble sleeping all year but the last week has been... something special.

i washed my siblings’ bed sheets today instead of dusting. mom wants me to wash all of the sheets every week. i don’t know if that’s really the most efficient use of our water, considering every advice site i’ve looked at has said something along the lines of “washing your sheets every two weeks is great, but once a month or so is also good.” 

maybe there’s no drawbacks to washing your sheets that often. i just don’t know how fast they wear out.

this is bad, but despite telling oz i was too tired to watch a movie, i sat and watched a really long critique of the bbc sherlock show in the late afternoon. i guess part of it was watching something that long by myself i didn’t have to also talk to anyone... 

about halfway through i paused to greet my brother and father as they had returned from their mud run, feed the dogs, and get some thai food with mom. i think i hurt myself trying to eat food that was too spicy... i felt really sick afterward and my stomach is still kind of grouchy with me. even though i am also hungry again because i wasn’t actually full when i stopped eating, i just couldn’t deal with my nerves disintegrating any more.

i keep getting spicy food hoping i’ll develop a better tolerance. i’ve got enough of one to tell different kinds of spices apart and appreciate different “flavors” of “OH GOD WHY IT’S SO HOT IT HURTS” and not get that sick. but the legendary Thai Hot seems to be forever out of my range. Double Thai Hot exists only in rumors. i saw jay get Double Thai Hot once. he caught on fire. and also cried.

i really love the soups that this place makes, but mom doesn’t like the very unique flavors so we didn’t get any. i wouldn’t have ordered the most spice that the cook is willing to give white people if we had gotten soup haha...

ehh, i boxed the leftovers for later. it’s not as good reheated, but i have a strong need for pahd thai and one sitting isn’t going to satisfy me.

oh yeah! around lunchtime i went out and blasted the dogs with the hose. i didn’t brush them afterward because there are five dogs and i didn’t want anyone to get sat on trying to get my brush’s attention. i didn’t take anyone to the mail box today though because it was over 100 even after the sun went down. even i didn’t want to walk the 2 minutes over to the mailbox.

and i maybe figured out what i’m gonna do with that gold bottle cap. i’m gonna slap it on a shiny magikarp and ship him off on the wonder trade. since it has a... less helpful nature (but not as bad as the other two) and no good ivs it will benefit the most from a gold bottle cap, which boosts all your stats to the maximum. all of the pokemon i am hyper training only need half their stats boosted. it’s not too hard to get 3 regular bottle caps, it just takes a while, especially if i am not using the fishing hole because i can’t be bothered to split my attention between film theory and watching my 3ds screen for a 1-second alert that i have to react to.

tomorrow... i gotta email my apartment complex or see if i can find the bed size myself so we can do the new sheets and stuff. and i gotta contact my relatives about my graduation party near the end of july. i think it’s the 23rd. and maybe i will check out one of the social activities available this side of town if i can find one that meets on sundays and is also interesting and/or small enough that it won’t be overwhelming. i would also like to maybe finish the owl picture since i have not worked on that in basically a whole week. and i gotta get this grody nail polish off my fingernails. it can stay on my toenails though because it still looks nice and is also maybe hiding a crack from when i accidentally stomped on my own toes while walking wiley.

it’s kind of weird but i make a very specific series of noises when i am hurt. i think being angry and then disappointed helps me get over the fact that it hurts a little more quickly. like when eve or diogi step on me with their claws, or when i bang my shin against a corner, or when i step on my toes and crack the nail. or burn my hands because the sink water is extremely hot for some reason.

i think... maybe tomorrow i will also try to do one thing from my to-do jar for the first time in over a week. i’ve done most of the major dusting so i will probably only need to devote about 5 minutes to that tomorrow. or maybe i could wipe down the window shades since the duster doesn’t do anything but kick up the dirt.

oh, also marisol is getting back in tomorrow evening so i can finally return her angle and hre devil. whiskey is a good boy. he likes to be picked up and cuddled with, and he is also the size of a small floppy pillow. and also he doesn’t SCREAM AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING WHICH IS A GREAT PERK!!!

it’s about 10 minutes early, but i think i am going to stop soon and get ready for bed. maybe i should take the dogs outside so cleo will wake me up at 6 instead of before 5.

one thing that just occurred to me is that i didn’t feel as depressed today. i mean yeah i felt extremely lethargic and nauseous and i had a headache for literally the whole day no matter how much water i drank. but i also just didn’t put much time into thinking about how bad i feel. i think that is about as good as it gets for me. i don’t know if that’s healthy or not though. since it might just be holding them in instead of dealing with them? i can’t tell if i am avoiding my bad feelings or successfully coping with them. tomorrow i might make some oatmeal cookies... our mixes and doughs are starting to creep up to their expiration dates. asher is getting back in about a week, so i will bake the snickerdoodles around that time. i will have to check for nuts in the mix though. like “this product was made in a facility that also processes nuts” or whatever.

i think maybe trying to jump back on the “doing things” wagon will help me go forward again. and maybe find a goal, since my first one of “learn better cognitive skills to deal with incoming anxiety” got smashed with the whole “you’re not working hard to get better” thing. i guess doing things isn’t working hard. but it keeps me in a better mood than not doing things.

i have ranked my goals in order from “short-term” to “realistically attainable at some point in the future when broken into smaller steps” to “life goals” to “optional bonus round.” well, i don’t really have a lot of goals to put into any of those categories, but i feel that it will be a useful ladder to use if i do find some goals to have. maybe that will help me draw a picture of “who i want to be” which will give me some kind of vague idea of what i should look like in the future? what philosophies are important to me? how do i want to treat other people? what do i think about these and these issues and what am i going to do about them? 

i will try not to overwhelm myself right away and just kind of pick things up as i walk by them for now. and i will keep doing a few stretches during the day. 

maybe, starting on monday or tuesday, i will put some time into trying to feel invested in my writing again. i still remember where a lot of “following that train of thought” needs to happen. after i get everything down for real this time i can start cutting unnecessary things out and making an actual next draft. that’s always the REALLY hard part for me. 

i think i could do that on tuesday. ask for some input from my therapist in specifically feeling more interested in things i create.

ok, now it is just after 12:25. i have now made full use of my allotted journal time and i feel like i maybe got somewhere with it which is nice. now i just gotta pick up all these beans and play the lottery.

[daandori]

rules: answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

Tagged by: @daisho-u​ & @eejoon​ tysm guys ily!! ♡♡♡♡

so sorry mobile ppl :’(

1. coke or pepsi: coke!

2. disney or dreamworks: i love them both ;o;

3. coffee or tea: tea!

4. books or movies: movies, just bc you can have it on in the bg and you dont have to set aside certain time for it

5. windows or mac: windows

6. dc or marvel: marvel!

7. xbox or playstation: i only have a ds :’) i wasnt allowed video games as a kid

8. dragon age or mass effect: havent played either !

9. night owl or early riser: defs a night owl omg but if i rly have to study then ill rise early 

10. cards or chess: cards omfg chess rly frustrates me

11. chocolate or vanilla: vanilla!

12. vans or converse: dont have either! id probs wear vans over converse tho

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: ???

14. fluff or angst FLUFF FOREVER GIVE ME SAPPIEST FLUFF IN THE WORLD 

15. beach or forest: beach!!

16. dogs or cats: cats but i love dogs too :’))))

17. clear skies or rain: clear skies! i do like rain tho

18. cooking or eating out: i eat out way more often

19. spicy or mild food: mild im too white

20. halloween or christmas: both!!! but i love the atmosphere around christmas sm ;v;

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too hot

22. if you could have a superpower what would it be: time control!

23. animation or live action: hmmmmmmm animation

24. paragon or renegade: ?

25. bath or shower: i would take a bath every single day if i could

26. team cap or team ironman: cap forever

27. fantasy or sci-fi: fantasy!

28. do you have 3 or 4 favorite quotes if so what are they: hmmm im not sure! weirdly enough i rly liked metroman’s speech to megamind in the movie???? so ill put that lmfao (i know it from memory, jic you thought i was cool)

“you know, little buddy, there’s a yin for every yang. if there’s bad, good will rise up against it! it’s taken me a long time to find my calling; now it’s about time you found yours.”

“yet, even amidst the hatred and carnage, life is still worth living. It is possible for wonderful encounters and beautiful things to exist.” - hayao miyazaki  

“so what? You failed your finals. You gained some weight. So what? You’re single again. You lost your job. So what? What now? You live. You try again. That’s what.”

29. youtube or netflix: youtube! youtube videos calm me tbh

30. harry potter or percy jackson: harry potter!! grew up with it :’))

31. when do you feel accomplished: when i work hard on something and i get a good grade aha

32. star wars or star trek: never watched either sry guys

33. paperback books or hardcover books: paperback!

34. fantastic beasts or cursed child: havent seen either! 

35. rock or pop music: pop!!

36. rock, paper, scissors GO!: usually scissors 

37. anime or cartoons?: anime

38. handwriting or typing: typing

39. favorite film: hmm i rly like scott pilgrim! i love lots of movies tho

40. favorite place in the world? seoul!

41. cds or vinyl: cds?

42. song lyric that’s important to you? but music and singing have been my refuge, and music and singing shall be my light

43. what’s your form of self-care? sitting in my basement and watching friends over and over (and taking super longs baths)

44. what language/languages would you like to learn? i defs wanna improve my korean during my exchange!! and my russian in general, haha. id wanna learn japanese too!!

45. fave song currently? hmmmmm, idk if i have a fave, but ive been listening to vip kid, 404 not found, and  サマーホラーパーティ (all by reol) and salaisuus by rajaton a lot lately!!

46. favorite game? all pokemons, all mario games, and acnl!

my question: 47. what type of bender would you be?

im not gonna tag 46 ppl lmao thats too much even for me, but i will tag @akaaishii @asexuallyaroused @yukiyuna @hinanoyas @koushii @flawlessmangakarohan @galaxy-tooru @oikz @tsuyius @heckks @caycchi no pressure!!!

[sideshaveinasweater]

tagged by @chundeul  Thank ya for the tag my dude, its been a bit how are you? c:

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to know better

nicknames: Dad, daddy, stewy, i was called hat girl once

gender: neutral

star sign: Scorpio

height: 5′5″ i think 

time right now: 2:25 Pm

last thing i googled: best uke songs bc i can play a lot on guitar but my uke song library is lacking

favourite bands: The Black Keys, Blink 182, Eve 6, Arctic Monkeys, RHCP, and ive kinda been into In This Moment lately

favourite solo artists: Jack Johnson, i actually dont mind Ed Sheeran, and does Panic! now count as a solo artist? *tear*

song stuck in my head: Blue by Eiffel 65 iM BLUE DABU DEE DABU DI DABU DEEEEE DABU DI DABU DI DABU DI DI DI DIIIIII

last movie i watched: The Outsiders

last tv show i watched: How I Met Your Mother (just finished it and now i feel quite empty)

when did you create your blog: February 2013 good god why am i still here

what stuff do you post: I started out as a kpop blog but now im more just shitposts sorry tbh im prouder of my sideblogs lol

when did you blog reach its peak: i wanna say 2014 or 2015, i gained mad followers

do you have any other blogs: mANY

do you get asks regularly: haha i used to but then i took a v long hiatus and now not so much

why did you choose your url: well now that im not exactly a kpop blog i wanted something more me and i almost made it sideshaveinasnapback bc im almost always wearing one but i figured sweater was cuter for the winter months

following: coughcough1,047cough im trying to cut down i promise....

posts: 54,796

hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

pokemon team: mystic i think??

favourite colors: green, blues, purple, pastels, browns/creams

average hours of sleep: i get either 9+ or like 4 there is no in between

lucky numbers: 13

favourite characters: Korra from LoK, everyone in steven universe, (keeping these two bc SAME) Nicky and Poussey (cries for years) from OITNB, Hermione, Thalia and Annabeth from PJ, Batman

what are you wearing right now: Ravenclaw beanie, light gray sweater, dark gray waffle shirt, jeans, white socks, glasses, green banded watch, steel ring aND an acryllic pink gauge and one taper lol (i just stretched up from 14 to 12 this morning, my left still hurts ;c) 

*shameless plug: follow me on sc to see my stretching adventures @oneofmanybabyz (i should have thought before i made all of my social medias the same thing.... stupid 13 year old me why)*

how many blankets do you sleep with: 4

dream job: Engineering research, either biomed or biochem

dream trip: Get me out of the USA (keeping this answer bc S A V E  U S )

now i tag peeps (from reblogs, per usual): @longdistancefangirls, @isadinosawr, @v-i-n-t-a-g-e-m-e-m-e-s, @aph-springroll, @kyungsoo-thighs, @ittybittyxvw, @that-kpop-chick, @jinkis-noona, @wanderlustexperience, @alejandro-the-ok, @smut-4-life, @heyitsprits, @whenigetmessedup, @myfavoritediedagain, @proceed-to-freak

[revel80r]

On the turning of Scyther88

I met my best friend when I was five years old. at the Akron Chinese Christian Church. On this blog, I call him Scyther88. Scyther, myself, and another guy, let’s call him ‘Mango’, have been the three musketeers for most of my childhood. We’d only see each other on sundays, and sometimes a friday, or saturday here or there, because our families all lived in different areas of Akron and we went to different schools during the week. But oh, the bliss of those sundays together with those two idiots. At church on sundays, we hung out together, we got in trouble together, bullied and picked on other smaller kids together, and all the joys of 90′s boyhood ...together. We definitely had our different personalities too. Mango was the oldest (by 8 days). He was always domineering, manipulative, and was kind of our de-facto “leader” of the little gang. Scyther was always the lancer to Mango’s alpha. He always challenged him, had more of a streak of irony and sarcasm than Mango. He was cool. And then there’s me. I was younger than both of them by about a year. I was the little 3rd fiddle. I just played loyal and loved being with these two guys... complicit in all our stupid sins as a bunch of kids.

We got really, crazy into Pokemon, and bonded over it. To this day, Scyther’s email, gamername, username on most platforms has always been “Scyther88″ or some form of it. Mango’s moved on from his “Jolteon88″ or whatever it was. I was an ‘89 baby so I’m not even cool. Now I’m just reVelstΛr. I remember I was the first to get pokemon cards. Mango and I were at some Chinese church camp, and we both got one card each, he got a machop and I got a charmander. Later, a couple weeks later, I got the old blue Pokemon card starter deck. And I became the cool boy. Mango and Scyther both got rival (and better) decks pretty soon afterwards and the 90′s head fever of pokemon collecting materialism had bitten us, and our parent’s wallets hard. We fought, we argued over rules and technicalities, (the best that 4th graders could anyway), etc. But we were buddies and knew that. Even though we didn’t go to the same schools in Akron, we’d go to each other’s birthday parties, play N64 together, etc. It was the good ol’ days. The best and worst part of it was, the Chinese church met in this very large mega-church building in Akron. Very extensive facilities. And us boys had the inside of the church fully explored and mapped out. We knew the place very well. So on sunday we knew there would be the inevitable time our parents had finished socializing and decided it was time to go home, and do other things. And so, purposefully, to milk every sweet moment of pokemon-card battling that we possibly could, we would hide in nooks, crannies, upper rooms, balconies, anywhere we could find and hide in, to hide away from our parents so we could spend more precious moments pokemon-carding away. Our parents had to send out search parties and scour the buildings for us little brats. hahaa. We’re guilty of many white hairs on one of the assistant pastors. 

Reality hits hard. Mango’s family moved away to Asia at the end of 5th grade, and we would not see each other for a very long time. Scyther’s life hit a very rough patch when his dad’s brother passed away. Scyther’s father got angry and blamed Jesus for the passing of his brother. He full turned away from the faith, and forbid Scyther’s mother and Scyther from going to church anymore. I was young and not aware of such heavy things. but I did remember my two best friends no longer being at church, and I was suddenly a lone little guppy in the church youth group. The youngest, least mature, and most annoying, by many grade levels, to the rest of the church youth group.

I saw Mango once, in 8th or 9th grade when his family stopped by Akron for a visit, and the next time I saw him was in college.

Scyther and his mother would occasionally come to church over the years. Scyther’s father was vehemently against God, but Scyther’s mother was all the stronger in the faith in Jesus. And so they’d sneak to church whenever she can over the years to come. And blessings for me, my friendship with Scyther was intact and I got to have a middle school and high school life with my best friend from time to time, talking to him about video games, stupid jokes, girls, and all other kinds of bad things.

Scyther and I even went on a mission trip together in 2006 to Beijing, China.

In the fall of 2007, all three of us idiot musketeers went to the Ohio $tate University as freshman, Mango, Scyther, and my darned self.

I got in contact with Mango the weeks before commencement, and hung out with him the first day on campus. We both got involved with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and that ended up being our primary community on campus for the next 4-5 years (or on my case, [one of my] primary communities). Scyther and Mango were no longer buddies, no longer close. Mango’s become a popular, social kid. Scyther and I are outcast, and fringe people. I was not aware of this at the time, but Scyther had a very rough middle school and high school life, being rejected and picked on by his white peers, because he is one of only two or three Asians in his entire schools. White people. Y’all messed up. Need to get help. I was not aware, that this messed up my best friend on the inside, as he has a cynical, vengeful, vindictive streak hidden that I either missed or chose to ignore. He became ambitious and focused. So that, one day he will be at the top of the heap, looking down on everyone else who was cruel and had mistreated him in the past. And Scyther will know who had one in the end. That was his plan anyway.

Scyther was driven, ambitious, and disliked people. Mango was popular, responsible, and worked around people. I was a desperate loser junkie who would give up anything to be with people or video-games. 

Guess which one of us dropped out of Ohio State, heheh.

And so Scyther did not like InterVarsity after attending one time, and picked up on the community’s unfortunate clique-y tendencies. decided he was not going to put up with that bovine stool, and chose to attend a Korean church instead. Meanwhile Mango and I became career InterVarsity attenders, becoming leaders in different chapters of IV. Mango got a lot farther along than I did, in leadership and socially, and so it went on.

I am kind of sad to admit that I picked up on signs that Scyther had given up on Jesus very late. He had stopped attending his Korean church, and I simply assumed it was because of the busyness of his schedule, as I had missed many church sessions, although that may have more to do with irresponsibility, though like many college students, I liked to chalk that up to “busyness”. And being roommates with Scyther, we would have bitter arguments from time to time. One time I got so angry, I threatened to murder him, and the dorm manager had to have me stay at a friend’s place overnight that time because of the difficulties in our dorm room. After a year of college I began to realize that Scyther no longer believed or followed Jesus. I was not even aware of my own shallowness and the brokenness in my own pursuit of Jesus, but all I knew was I felt InterVarsity was doing the right thing to me, and I seemingly couldn’t do anything to convince stubborn old Scyther to come back to either InterVarsity or church.

In Scyther’s mind, he realized that being in college, he could do whatever he wanted and was no longer forced to go to church by his mother. He could make his own choices now. And so he decided to not go. And his pains from his past, cynicism and disdain for people, including Christians, took over, and he lost faith in people, community, and Christ. He admitted to himself in not believing or seeing proof of God’s existence. and became atheist.

During all of this, Scyther’s mother remained the strong, strong prayer warrior Christian she has always been. Praying every day for the salvation of her family, urgently imploring God to bring Scyther back to faith. She prayed, and prayed, and prayed.

For many years after that, we had an understanding that InterVarsity and Jesus were just me and my ‘God thing’. but Scyther saw no evidenc, proof, or need for him. There was no way to work around his buttheadedness. Plus, Scyther’s got lots of crap on me, my deepest darkest secret, etc. So it’s not like I’ve been a particularly good, effective, or pure example of a Christian to him. And that was that. There was not much of a productive conversation beyond that.

Scyther graduated from Ohio $tate, and got into grad school in a virology PhD program at Cornell University, while I got academically dismissed, and dropped into crippling depression... Mango graduated and went on to teaching or something like that. There was a drop of contact for awhile.

Over the years from 2011-2016 Scyther and I would skype and hangout online from time to time. sometimes more frequently, chatting and playing vieogames together online every night. Other times we’d go through months of hiatuses from online contact. I visited him at Cornell University in Ithaca. That was a special night as by the grace of the Lord, I got a chance to talk with Scyther about why I believed in God, why I believed in Jesus, and how experienced him. A deeper conversation than the typical StarCraft and World of WarCraft talk we had. In the end, Scyther still saw no evidence, proof, or need for God and I had to just agree to disagree... It’s good. I love him. I love this guy. He is my best friend. He was there with me through much of my shit and depression. Especially that worst period in 2013. 

This year in 2016, I took a very, very long hiatus from video games and much social media. Worked through some of the toughest semesters I had at Capital University, which God has provided for me after scraping and mopping up my mistakes through sweat, blood, and tears at Columbus State Community College... And so 2016 was a banner year for me. Most excellent. I got to go on not one, but two missions trips, one to Mozambique, and one to Taiwan. and after all that crazy goodness, I was brought into church staffship, and finished college in december, finally earning that accursed, elusive piece of paper...

Meanwhile, Scyther was told to wrap up his research, do a dissertation and defense, and finish his graduate school studies. And he did so. And now we all tease him and call him Dr. Scyther. What should have been a joyful, celebratory time, became a disappointment for Scyther, as life after attaining doctorhood was no different from life before. He did not feel any redemption, release, or beams of purpose. Only the emptiness. And so, with his emotions crashing. Scyther realized the truth of life is meaningless. There is no rhyme, or reason. Why spend so much effort building, only for someone else to enjoy the fruits of his labor? What was worth it? We all die and go to the same place, and life is meaningless. He spiraled into depression and decided to kill himself. and with the many years of laboratory experience, he knew exactly what he needed to do to kill himself. He planned it out, wrote apology letters to his mother, wrote one for me, and only found that..... he could not do it. The fear is too much. He is afraid of pain, and confronted with the fact that he did not know what happens to him after he does it. And so, THANK GOD, my best friend Scyther did not kill himself. During this time I was completely unaware that my Scyther was going through so much... Lesson and word of advice... check on your friends, keep in contact with them, ever after you sign off or swear off from social media.. check on your friends. Because honestly, depression and suicidal resolve can come quite swiftly....

Scyther did not kill himself. Thank God he chickened out. One thought reached out to him, The Timothy Keller book he bought out of curiosity on a whim a while ago: “The Reason for God” It is an apologetics book laying out philosophical, experiential, theological arguments fro the experience of God. Very good. Scyther read through it.

One day, in November of 2016, after a conversation with his mother, Scyther felt truth in his mind, that maybe, just maaaybe, God really is real. And that very night he had a terrifying demonic nightmare, as if he was being dragged down to hell itself. Sleep paralysis, the sciences call it. A couple nights later he had another sleep paralysis attack, this time seeing an angry face. He looked it up online and discovered sleep paralysis. And happening so suddenly and coincidally with his openness to the existence of God, a higher being..... He called me and asked about it. Being intrigued, I opened up a little about my own demonic experiences, and assured him that the name of Jesus has power. Jesus has power. Pray, invoke the name of Jesus, and the enemy will flee in every direction from you... We talked for a little while, I mentioned being at the church I was at, and how I was going to a big conference called One Thing in Kansas City that december.

A couple days later, my cell phone broke and I had to switch phones, missing a couple texts and calls in the process; several of these texts were from Scyther, inquiring about this conference, One Thing, and whether IHOP-KC was a cult.

By the time I got in contact with him a couple days after that, Scyther had already figured out the answers to his questions himself. And he was thinking about going. When I talked to him again, Scyther simply told me, unflinchingly, that “God is real. God is totally real. Acts chapter 9. That is all I can say, man.” I really was on the verge of tears, hearing my childhood and best friend, of 22+ years say to me over the phone that God is real, after he had abandoned the Lord and lived as an atheist for about a decade.

And just last month, in December, Scyther joined me and my church going to IHOP’s One Thing conference. It was a beautiful thing to see. His heart was being opened and his character was already different. He had a passion and a zeal for the Lord that I have not seen before. It was amazing. His heart was being opened, and he was being softened to people. My best friend, who in the past hated pretty much every single human being except for his 5-6 friends and family... is now an open, sociable, empathetic heart. I cannot make this up. Jesus is sooooo good and I am so thankful. God’s even opened up Scyther’s mind to the possibilities of prophecy, healing, and miraculous prayer. Things that were strongholds to Scyther’s mind and heart were being unlocked and opened and it is a beautiful, beautiful, redemptive thing to see.

Nowadays, Scyther comes to my church in Columbus, and we are growing, Scyther is growing so, so fast, we are all growing towards the Lord, we are growing together.

I cannot be happier with life.