#ive let them pile up
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an edyn design but i will most definitely futz with the outfit when i have brainjuice for it
gill with pretzel babywrap inspired by my brother who listened to maybe half of ep1 and got it in his head that pretzel was tied to his stomach, not on his hip and i screamed when he told me
no thoughts head empty sketch of gill pose
#i feel like ive been posting too many fanarts as like.. their own posts#i kinda like letting them pile up and just dumping them all in one post#but also ive been in a weird art mood where anytime i start smth i never rlly expect it to go anywhere#so i just post it when im done and then it just loops like that#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#gillion tidestrider#jrwi pretzel#my art#me setting out to settle on a design for any of these fuckers: I CANT KEEP GIVING THEM THE LOOSE POOFY PANTS OR POOFY SLEEVES I NEED TO STO#.... 🥺 but it.. its so fun to draw..... the shapes...
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he
#i used to hoard all of my old school papers with the thought of one day; i'll use them to draw on instead of letting them go to waste!#...........yeah the paper gain was faster than the usage. piled up very fast. worst era of my life my room was always so MESSY skdjffdkjhd#some survived though! thats why you see some very basic chem in the back :P hated it back then and i still hate it now#UHM#oh!!! yeah the art. dskhjdfsjhf. found two markers at random with colours that work rlly nicely together so ive just been doodling like crz#and i rly like how this one turned out.. check out that schnozz!#i wish i was better at retaining simple flowy shapes in my art; especially when i try to finish a sketch digitally. i tend to lose it!#i'll get better at it but only with time! alas#OKAY. IM DONE RAMBLING#LOL.#okay#shadow milk cookie#cookie run kingdom#crk#crk fanart#mystuff#doodle
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reading about autistic meltdowns is crazy. in retrospect maybe that time i ended up sobbing self isolating and lashing out at people because I couldn't figure out how to set up my laptop the same way it had been before might've been because of The Autism
#i cannot deal with changes to things I deal with regularly#i need to have my phone and comp exactly the same lest I Suffer bc i use them every day#also perhaps i would get so upset over my mom cleaning my room (although being a nice gesture) is because she would move shit to places-#i didn't know and messed up the system i had#also fuckin. executive dysfunction. that's some shit isn't it#i had to move to a new desk early in my job to run a different room and the desk setup was different and I Was Struggling A Bit#also people trying to calm me down during meltdowns is significantly worse and i read a bit that was like.#'trying to interject into the meltdown may cause additional sensory overload. it's most safe to let the person self-regulate.' well shit#that's about right huh#autistic burnout also seemed very familiar and its a little disturbing just how close everything hits#anyways im probably autistic. good night#mossy's rambles#text post#luci's rambles#autism#neurodivergent#autistic things#autistic adult#autistic experiences#if anyone would like to add to the pile and tell me im autistic feel free ig. ive already been peer reviewed
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Babygirl I have 38 thousand words of incomplete trigun fic spread across 8 wips and have no idea how to even start dealing with it
#this is an actual request for help#there are two im happy just to ditch entirely#3 that are p much written in complete sentences but are just AU fragments and i don't think i have the energy to turn into a proper story#ive got 12k complete and edited words for another but then i just cant work out how to get to the story's end#and then the last two are half-written half-drafted and just keep getting longer and longer and i HATE properly write up my drafted notes#just... what do i do#can I put the first three up for fanfic adoption and see if someone else knows what to make of them#if anyone wants to proof read /advise on a modern au where WW realises hes gay breaks up w Milly and falls hard for Vash who then disappears#or a post-trimax fic where knives uses the last of his energy to resurrect WW & WW relearns who he is with melanie livio and the orphan kids#(with vash angst thinking hes hallucinating WW)#or a polygun/vashwood fic where WW tries to hide his injuries & the others realise hes got strange healing bc he nearly dies before the#vial kicks in and WW+Vash then talk about EoM/Knives and it ends in a polygun snuggle pile bc they talk it thru as a crew TM#please let me know#trigun#vashwood#trigun fanfiction
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Yatoma masterpost go go go
Censored Reup bc last one got flagged... :')
#noragami#yato#kazuma#kazune#yatoma#kazuyato#yatokazu#admin draws#fanart#compiling and massposting doodles from the last few months#which is. like 2 from half a year ago and then the rest from the last couple weeks basically#the 'im not gay but my boyfriend is' shirt actually has a partner piece by my good pal hallucxnating so go check that out too!!#the unrest that shirt sparked in the gc should be studied#sorry for the radio silence here ive just been doodling and i always wait for them to pile up sjgkdh#siiiiighhhh lets hope this one flies. i even added pants.
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KATE x YELENA AUs: FRAT BOY (1/?)
The FBAU visuals are hereeeeee.
I've mentioned in the story/in our conversations quite a few times that Derek basically spit out clones of himself when it came to Kate and her siblings and thanks to AI...I could just...do it??? It's a whole thing that they all look alike. Now you can see what I see in my head :)
The three kids are AI combinations of Kate & Yelena. Well, except for Maks. Maks kept the Bishop Gene Juice™️ cloning power alive and well.
Will I do this for all eleven (so far 😮💨) of the AUs we've got going on right now? I can't promise that I will. But I at least started a tag for visuals so it's not out of the realm of possibility that it could happen at some point. We'll see.
[NOTE: Click on the images to see the full res versions. Tumblr makes them look shitty and small if you don't.]
#bishova#bishlova#katelena#kate bishop#yelena belova#kate x yelena#y'all asking about who the would kids date and...here we fucking are...#i was like 'ive never thought about them growing up' and then immediately started thinking about it#i blame you all for like 4 hours of work haha#i mean...also because i felt bad that i delivered a shit pile as an excuse for graphics last night#couldnt let the newbies believe that's the level i operate on lol#'but where are the other nurseries papi? why only alex?!' its the only one we've established in the story chill and let me live lol#kyfbau#kyfbaup#kyauv#kyfbau ref#long post#myposts
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o i wanted to make a post that im honestly not smart enough to actually sit down and think out but i like the way meryls trauma doesnt completely woobify her character but does still affect her, it just feels nice to see a female charcater not be completely reduced to a wet soggy mess bc of trauma but also not to (very unrealistically) just Get Over It i think trigun has a nice balance and its refreshing
#also not saying its a secret feminist masterpiece or anything (coz ive seen ppl say that and. come on) but i still think it does well-#enough to be given an appreciative nod#i mean its clear nightow didnt know what to do w milly n meryl after a certain point bc there was just. So much goin on w vash and knives#so he just has the girls do some nomad stuff offscreen until he was ready to bring them back in and yknow what i dont hate that#i think its important to note the women in trigun are fucking amazing tho like. rem meryl luida elendira even lina#and yeah millys underdeveloped but still shes so good#so im not gnna sit here and criticise nightow for being just as misogynistic as some other male mangaka bc i think he does very well#and thats not even to say the bar is on the floor like i truly believe that. i love meryl for a reason#but. ppl can we maybe stop w the 'trigun is so feminist' praise bc lets be real nightow probably just has a thing for strong women#98 anime is a little different tho i was pullin some faces while rewatching some clips.#im obvs talking abt the manga#and stampede is still not done so i wont comment too much on that besides the fact i like where its going (girlwise)#i dont usually like viewing manga thru this lense bc its not the same culture and feminism looks different in japan than it does over here#but i saw a chart. it made me twist up my face and go hrrrrnnnmmmmmnnnnmmnnm..... nnhhnnhhjnnn... mmmmmmmm#jesus i didnt mean to go off in these tags i just wanted to make another 'meryl good' post for the pile#ig im still thinkin abt that chart idk i guess it stuck w me (regretfully)#anyway point is i love meryl for a reason trigun women are great thanks nightow but im not gnna praise him for bein a feminist icon
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i want to headcanon the mtt having absolutely terrible hygiene and struggling to keep themselves clean (this MAY... just QUITE POSSIBLY.... only in the SLIGHTEST bit be projection) but i think it would be too gross and man EVEN I dont wanna think about that
also killer canonically smells good and i actually really LIKE that idea so oh shit there goes that idea out the window. horror and dust youre my only hope please let me make you smell bad for reasons you won't understand
#also i dont think i. just got a sense of dejavu wtf. anyways#i dont think im THAT bad at maintaining my hygiene..... like i dont bed rot for months which isn't good by any means#but if i havent reached that point of bad hygieneness then i dont think i should be talking about this topic#sure i may uhhh may struggle to brush my teeth and shower multiple times a week but like. ngl it's not that bad#i am NORMAL okay THIS IS NORMAL. people struggle with this stuff all the time everyday i dont need to be making a whole post on this topic#i wish that the capital i in this app looked different. because when i wanna emphasize I it just looks normal#i type like how i speak has it not become glaringly obvious yet. so it boggles and bothers me when i cant emphasize i like i can irl#the laundry piles in dusts room are probably unfathomably tall he just throws it all into one corner (HES JUST LIKE ME FR!!! I DO TJIS!!!!!)#all the water in horrortale has turned toxic and polluted and bad so horror's only option is to not shower or shower in dirty water#he chooses the former because what if that water has monster dust sprinkled in it. his paranoia wont let him shower in dust infused water#TRIGLYCERCULE GET YOUR FUCKING LIFE TOGETHER INSTEAD OF THINKING AND PROJECTING ONTO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. SCHOOL STARTS IN 3 DAYS.#I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY.... IM SORRY OKAY I KNOW!!! I KNOW THIS IS BAD!!! I WILL TRY!!!!!!#anyways back to projecting. do you think dust has sheets on his little matress bed#because the sheets will enevitably get dusty and then he's gonna have to lay on the dust of those he killed and thats a bad thought#sheets can fix the problem temporarily because he can just change them out and wash them#but also.... changing sheet hard.... take long time..... dust just want sleep.... rot away..... so no sheet on matress??? idk#dust might be able to make fun of horror and killer for having food issues but#killer gets to make fun of dust and horror for having hygiene issues#he's had his lows but he's never gotten THAT low 🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵 LOSERS!!!!!#what does horror get to make fun of them for??? idk murder#killer might be able to keep himself clean but he cannot keep anything else around him clean with thet goddamn eye goop so HAH take that#me on my way to overshare with strangers on the internet. this isnt that bad compared to other stuff ive seen online actually#triglycercule can you just shut the fuck up and get back to posting about the mtt nobody CARES#alright..... limps away like a kicked and beated puppy...... like killer after getting abused by nightmare for the 56th time..........#advanced humor only utmv fans will get it#tricule rant#i said i wasnt gonna make the post but i did infact make the post. just in tags#me when i LIE#just offically reached 50 drafts where my medal. i should clear them out? alright shoot that guy
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#just me rambling#badvibe#god. i feel so let down by my friends these days#it's been a billion things piling up for many many weeks#and right now i just got told by a friend with whom I was supposed to go to a convention that she forgot I was coming#so she won't be able to pick me up cuz she's going with her mom instead#we made plans for visiting that city in the morning before going to the convention and all.#i put it down in my agenda and moved plans around to accomodate for it. but she straight up...#entirely forgot i was supposed to be there#she forgot about me#and i'm SO. FUCKING DONE. ABOUT BEING AN AFTERTHOUGHT ALL THE FUCKING TIME#this is just too fucking much. between this and my childhood friend who acts distant w me ever since there was a dumbass quiproquo#where i have to fucking work hard everytime at creating a good atmosphere whenever we see each other cuz she wont put in that effort#and another friend who's been utterly ignoring me on purpose for some fucking goddamn reason i don't know why or what i did#ignoring me or being rude other times#all of those are just examples but its been so many things#i have been. SO fucking patient with everyone. ive helped them so many times too- sometimes to my own loss#i've been so kind and understanding despite my personal struggles - keeping my feelings of anger and injustice at bay#and i get what in response? i'm fucking. forgotten i guess. pushed aside. treated like a nuisance#i feel like its at the point where the closer they are to me the less effort they put in. cuz i'm a given now. they can treat me like shit#they treat strangers better than their close friend cuz they know i'll just take it. or smth. i'm a punching ball for bad moods#i'm done being the understanding one. what about that. what if others were the ones having to come to me and be kind instead#what if i was the one people coddled and offered sympathy to for once in my fucking life#idk. just fucking explode#i feel so disrespected. and uncared for#and so deeply unloved#i'm done. i'm done#the convention thing was just the fucking hammer to break my back after everything#i'm so deeply heartbroken#do i matter to the people i care about
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today I'm finally going through my closet and trying on nearly every piece of clothing I own and why do I have so much?? why have I kept so much clothing???
#finding pieces of clothing that ive had since HIGH SCHOOL#im 25!!! ive moved multiple times why is this still here how has this made the cut every time?????#to be honest though. i dont think i have that many clothes i think i just never get rid of anything old or that doesnt suit so it piles up#i have half a closet and two shelves of clothes and thats it lol!!!#which. i know is a Lot compared to some people but i just helped a friend move and let me say...girl....#anyways. complaining and being courageous about staring at my body so much#ALSO i will get to the rest of the oc asks later today!!! i love love love doing them it's been very fun 💕
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#not dead#sorry ive been AWOL (again)#i swear it's not you it's me#and im sorry i let piles and piles of messages stack up here in the DMs and not answer them#i would say im not purposefully ignoring you all but it sounds like a lie. im just. an absolute bloody arse sometimes#i have not been up for social things lately and have been feeling otherwise drained#things are currently a bit messy irl but i swear there is nothing to worry about as i am slowly getting things sorted#im just. really really bad at sorting things out. and this is messing me up a bit#still boggles me how so many things could happen within the span of like... 3 days#but anyway. i know i demand a lot of patience from all of you but im gonna really need you guys to be patient a little longer 😅#again. so sorry. i promise to answer messages and catch up with you lovelies soon once everything is cleared up#(or at least once my head is)#still love you darlings <3#to clarify again. the problem is me. not you
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i try my best not to think of it and i havent in years but the fact the only people who were ever supposed to be my friends irl would always dump their love on me and then to leave me & say they dont like me over and over and over again only so they could watch my reaction n make fun of me together maybe did affect me huh
#i am normal i am not affected ii do not see ◡_◡#[distant sounds of me crying & screaming && gasping for air &&& ripping myself to shreds like a bear]#i was always an autistic lil freak who didnt speak so i guess i shouldnt be surprised#but like. i always just wanted them to like me#i always just wanted the chance to like them back and let be allowed. always just wanted someone to be pals with. someone i could trust to#have my back for once vs everything else#i remember such a specific moment right#and we were going on a roadtrip w her and one i already had#and they ended up talking before we left#the worst part is i had to keep seeing them. i had to just keep reliving the humiliation over n over again n it got so deep in me#& the og one had a plan that we would sit together in the back n n we had like. tons of stuff brought we could do n snacks n all this#n then at the very last second literally as i had just sat down she was like . actually. i dont want you back here. i want her she's way be#better#and i remember so specifically she was like. LOL look at ur face..........#and so i had to sit up front alone w nothing to do the entire ride but listen to them make fun of me for it#i feel like it would be better if they had left it at that but then they always came back n treated me so sweetly so i was like . ok i have#a chance#maybe they do like me#like the same girl went on to share cookies she had bought w me and we sat on the lawn for hours hanging out n eating them#and then she did it again#and again#but i was so alone in the world otherwise that i stayed#for years n years#my therapist always talks about how because of how long ive had anxiety means itll take either equally as long or longer to recover#and all i can think ab is how i lived with everything horrible at home#always just wanting to escape#to living through bad things outside of it too#just piling on top#from 6-16#and i kept going back
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I have ideas.
I have a peanut gallery of friends that get excited.
I have at least a couple spoons, sometimes.
I keep having to actively choose not to think about my wips not work on my wips not even look at my wips because I'll want to work on them and I have too much work and homework and my exam is coming up and I'm aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I want to write :'(
#bliz rambles#i have one that's technically only about half written but outlined and really will likely only take a wee bit to at least get the rough#draft done#i have another thats sprawling into a leggy fucking nightmare and ive been letting myself spew the ideas i have for it in little notes in#a thread in my discord gc and i want to compile them so bad it hurts#one of my friends made a sidelong comment yesterday that made me rwalize ive had a solution to a fic breaking problem#in my lap the whole goddamn time#and i cant work on a single fucking one of them#because if i let myself write for fun im going to blow every last spoon on it i know i will#and i have so few right now#because my pain is being Mean and i have a lot i /need/ to get done with those few spoons#and so i wait#and im so afraid that by the time i have time again#i wont have the motivation or the ideas will dry up or i'll be too burnt#i already feel like a pile of ash#but i have ideas. and i have /hope/ which is /wild/ because i thought i didnt like writinf and i thought i was bad at it#but my god people like my latest fic#like a lot more than i thought anyone ever might fjdjdksk#theres only 7 public bookmarks but my stats page says there're 32 🤣#i will /take that fucking win/ and id like to run with it i really would#but i have so much to do#dont work 6 days a week kids. not unless you get /really/ good benefits and they pay you for drive time.#and even then probably dont
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rf2 and frontier are the only rune factory games i havent played
#i say as if 3 and 5 arent the ones ive put the most time in compared to the others anyway#love playing farm sims i sure wish i committed more time to them instead of letting them pile up over the decades
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Made so mucb preogress with the picrew...
#dead to world.. pain... back hurts.. cramps... kinda tired...#and yet it is. so so much fun. and i wanna continue so bad.#oh fuck i judt remembers that i have a project due on wednesday to make a storybook and some turnarounds#i love how easily i shove zampanio into all that i see nowadays#need to make an essay? make it avout zampanio! need to make a story? zampanio awaits! need to do anything in creative writing?#zampanio.#anything in animation?#zampanio!!#it makes it a lot more fun. i actuay want to do things when it involves that i guess!#hard to explain!#so sorry to my math teacher whos whiteboard i keep writing+drawing on with zampaniostuff. it will happen again.#i really love this schedule#im a little scared im going to be knocked out of it because of school#i am. enjoying this little routine ice shoved myself into#i dont remember anything from last week however! hrm#hhrnnnnmmmm#sigh#my back hurts so bad#hugs my electronics. ohh how i love you. the voice youve given me the way youve changed me. kiss kiss#the people youve let me meet and the wonderful things ive seen#i love you electronics.. i love the sounds and lights you give......#so many times i hug phone to sleep. it is cute litttle box that emits lightm how could i not.#its sad that computers are thinner nowadays makes them harder to hug#but on the plus side so very easy to pick up!#you know cuddling up into a plush pile with your favorite ill electronics or objects is so nice :-)#i think i have a broken computer part in my zampanio box and i dont know whether to consider it an eye or part of brain
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