#ive listened to this musical an UNHEALTHY amount

[spacedykez]

my favorite things about epic the musical

but now we'll be the ones who ✨SLAY✨

i love how fast and intense the part where ody's giving orders is

the soldiers' little "WHOO"s after ody's lines OUGHHHH

*hawk screech* A VISION

"I know that I'm ready!! // I don't think you're ready..."

ody's voice is so SOFT when he's singing "it's just an infant"

zeus's voice is so deep. it fits him

the backing vocals on "if you don't end him now you'll have no one left to save // penelope!!"

ody & zeus's duet. no more needs to be said

"PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS, DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS" sobs. ough.

"is the price i pay endless pain?" yeah. seems like it. i mean the odyssey makes sure to remind us that you have endured "much suffering" like fifty times so.

the second repetition of "when does a comet become a meteor" with the whole chorus singing....

"and ithaca's waiting!!" is such a satisfying line for some reason

"PENELOPE'S WAITING!!" they have the best relationship of anyone Ever actually.

the men singing "captain, what's the plan?" so satisfying

"we're up we're off and away we go!" yayyyyy

"captain! :D" "polities! :D" (dont talk to me SOBS)

this whole song is just so great tbh.

I LOVE when ody and the men are singing together. so fun. idk why its just satisfying

jungle noises!! also the beat to Open Arms is just SOOOOO very nice i don't know why something about the drums is just so very /pos though

the lotus-eaters' voices are very fun tbh. i love the overlapping vocals. they sound like Creechurs /pos

when the lotus-eaters go "oooooh!" after polites' lines >>>>

the high flute/whatever it its thats playing the melody of athena's lyrics as she sings them? oughh >>>>>

"Let's go!!"

ody's smug little "ha-ha-ha-ha"

you can HEAR the smile in athena's voice when ody tricks her. like. ooh yes this one this is my favorite mortal.

"nah, don't be modest, i know you're a goddess" >>>

i just LOVE how ody sings "you are ATHENA badass in the ARENA unmatched witty AND QUEEN OF the best stra-te-gies we've seen"

ody's little "ohkay" after athena's "we'll see where it ends." god he sounds so just. blorbo. in this song. yknow. hes just so smug cat /aff

warrior of the mind, just, like, in GENERAL, is great

THE ARROW FLYING AT THE START OF POLYPHEMUSSSS

"WHO ARE YOU." you can HEAR the oh shit

i love ody and the Cyclops' whole exchange. just something about it.

i love the cyclops' voice filter? whatever he's got goin on. very cool

"hey cyclops do you know what's better than eating me? GETTING DRUNK!!! yeah trust me dude youll NEVER wanna eat me now"

i appreciate him repeating "nobody" three times so absolutely NO ONE can miss it.

"I'm so glad we see eye to eye" hehe. cause. yeah.

"what..? WATCH OUT!!" >>>>>>

THE BEAT HERE GOES FUCKING CRAZYYYYYYY /pos

the whole not exactly call-and-repeat thing that ody and his men do during this song. just. man i love this musical.

when the men r singing in the background of ody singing >>>>

"captain..?" POLITESSSSSSSS :((((((((

the BANGING... like. its so emotional /pos.

the cyclops singing a version of the song ody and his men were singing before >>>>>

the sort of focusing-in thing at the start of Remember Them? i dont know. its just very satisfying

remember them is just a great song all around. amazing. 10/10 no notes

i lied i have notes. i LOVE the guitar riff thing? that happens around when ody says "SCATTER"

"captain" "wait" >>>>>

the cyclops sounds so SAD when hes saying "don't go! :("

"my comrades will not DIIIIII-EEE-IEEEE in vain." they always say it like "diii-EEEE-iiiiiieeee" and its very funny

the line "selfish and prideful and vain" is so funny after reading the odyssey. this goddess raised your child for you and saved your life like 1932094234 times. have some goddamn respect. gods.

"YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A MENTOR I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A FRIEND!" callbacks to previous songs >>>>>>

"wiser, why's your" love that. (sounds alike)

the little stuttering the music does at the end of this song!!! so satisfying.

[garglyswoof]

"On Repeat" playlist tag game

Thanks, @the-road-betwixt for tagging me to shuffle my on repeat playlist. I am a weirdo musician who doesnt listen to enough music tbh and i hate spotify so i try not to use it. lets see what pops up on my youtube history. i will also be That Girl that links everything and has a fuckin paragraph sorry, so tldr readmoreing tagging @averseunhinged bc i am quite certain you will have bands ive never heard of, same with @retoxdiet, @gemleilou and anyone who i tagged in here as reference and hasnt done it, and @notquitecogent bc hi! i liked that song that gave you kastle vibes and im curious (no pressure to anyone)

Holding a Heart - Todd Wright. ha @purplesigebert and @kirythestitchwitch this is from Fang Fridays because tvd uses another version of this song and i was lucky enough to grow up listening to the og

X Out - Extreme. I loved them when i was 15. The lead singer was so kind to me when i met him and told him my music dreams. there's something compelling and eerie about this track but it's probs nostalgia

When You Get to Asheville (Bright Star soundtrack) - my fave from the musical

Grace - Jeff Buckley. Never be over this album.

How We Operate - Gomez listened to this like 15 times in a row lmao

555 - Jimmy Eat World. definitely a change of pace for them style wise but melodically it's classic them and it makes my heart warm and ache at the same time.

Mia Resurrected - Cristobal Tapia de Veer. Huge fan since Utopia, but i think the humans soundtrack is my fave.

Your Needs, My Needs - Noah Kahan i thank @carry-the-sky for this one. god the last minute or so just kills me every time.

Parade - Heypenny idk something about this being fun but creepy at the same time is just a cool vibe

Cantus in Memory of Benjamin Britten - Arvo Part. Music always reminds me of times and places and ill never forget this coming on on a mix CD i made on a long drive and i just burst into tears in a cathartic way.

IM ADDING AN 11th FOR Fingers - Chinchilla (live). i watched this an unhealthy amount of times

[a-s-levynn]

@lovingache @reveries-of-my-mind @sleepanonymous Sorry you had to wait this much but i fell asleep and then work happend and i rewrote the entire post because it made so little sense and yeah..

I certainly can't be brief with this so i'm gonna insert a cut but if you are interested, this is what ST helped and still helps me work through during my still ongoing journey of selfacceptance.

It is kind of messy, there is a lot of rambling and wandering of thoughts but finally here it is.

A lot of this is, i'm sure of it, is going to sound very familiar to you because there is a reason we gravitate towards Sleep Token. Yeah memes are fun, much shapes, the guys are cryptids, Vessel has a nice body, III is the fun chaos noodle ballerina whatever, II is cute how he simps for Vessel from behind the drumkit when he isn't destroying it, IV is obejctively the sexy one and all the shenanigens. Whatever. We all know. BUT. If we are honest we love all of it because how it was built up. Because we are all a bit broken inside in ways. And we have a way to channel it in a way many of us never been able to before. We are allowed to be broken and exist in a space where it is okay. It is understood. Like.. Never in my entire life been so comfortable with the scars on my arms as is was when i was waiting in que before an ST ritual. Just sayin..

But back to the topic. Sorry i'm prone to wander.

It's hard to get this together in a way that isn't too much about me but it is not an easy task let me tell you. I'll put a link to an abbreviated version of how i got to be the person i am because it retrospectively will add some additional context to this entire thing, but that's fully optional. But first:

a little context on how i fell into the ST pit anyway: I first found them when the second ep released. I liked the look, i checked them out solely because that masked look interesting, but i really did not vibed with the music. I wasn't listening to the lyrics.

Next time they came into my field of vision before the release of TPWBYT. I still wasn't fully sold but there were a few tracks that got trough to me from Sundowning. Still not all of it. I wasn't paying attention still.

And then the end of last year came and something started an itch in my brain to take them out again.. and i finally sat down and read the lyrics properly. I never in my entire life sobbed so uncontrollably like when i first experienced Atlantic with actually paying attention to the lyrics.

And then the TMBTE singles started to release, then the album came. It's not a coincidence i said it's akin to a pilgrimage. It was an emotional pilgrimage to me, and still is every time i do it. And i was fairly normal about all of it. It hit me for sure, but i actually was lost when i finally saw them live. It just broke through like a dam in a flood. That concentrated energy is something that is hard to describe. Anyway. Now here i am.

So the things Sleep Token helped me with, that 10+ years of objectively unsuccesful therapy miserably failed to achieve.

being able to cry properly

being unapologetic about what i like

being able to start to feel my feelings

being unashamed by feelings that are generally considered problematic

being able to process in a much more healthy way if something is not okay in my head

ST gave me a healthier coping album to listen to when i'm on my lows

I'm not saying i'm perfectly fine by a weave of a magical drumstic, what i'm saying is that i stab myself significantly less when i can't focus for the life of me.

So maybe go over the bulletpoints i guess?

1. crying

With ST i felt finally seen in a way i never had before. I never was a cryer, but since i actually got into ST, i do sometimes. Not all the time but probably a far healthier amount then before. Because not crying is unhealthy. It doesn't make you strong and all that crap. It just adds to the unnecessary weight you carry. Some realize this sooner and i'm so happy for them beause it is important.

2. being unapologetic of my interests

I meantioned it before, an it was what sprang this entire long ass post to existance, but let it be here as well: i was unlearning a lot of thing and being apologetic over what i like is one for them. And i was progressively better and better at it, but like lately it just blew through the stratosphere because one cannot talk about Sleep Token and not sound kind of mental at least a bit. And at this point i don't give a shit. I like what i like, it doesn't hurt anyone. If someone laughs at me for it? Good for them at least i made them smile.

The context of this is a friendgroup i was in from around 14 to 20 and it had good paarts but ultimately was an emotionally controlling one, which i realized far too late. And it already created patterns and habits. Needless to say, i don't talk to any of them anymore.

3. feeling the feelz

This is where i'm going to start to sound really weird i think but who knows.. maybe more of you are in the same shoes than i would think.

From a considerably young age i was repressing basically every strong emotion possible. Happyness, sadness, excitement even anger to a certain degree. It started with the sadness, and emotional pain but as with everything it spiraled out to the rest of my emotions. I was also basically in a constant fight or flight mode which just propells you forward at any given time, when you should have stopped to feel shit.

And after a while that creates this weird dissonance of not really feeling anything and at the same time having the empathy, emotional maturity and social awareness to understand how others feel in given situations. Moreover i was acutely aware how i should feel in certain moments, it just.. never really happend. I knew the correct answers to the proverbial questions but my brain just put up a wall and never let me actually feel anything. I was simply empty.

This created the perfect blank slate for me to be the quote on quote emotional mirror for all my friends and even family at times. So usually people came and still come to me to be a sort of free therapist or something like that. Just spitballing what they are going through and reflecting it back to help them understand. And don't get me wrong i love helping people, i really do, and also when the conversation is over, some of their relief is left behind for me and it was at least something.

But at the end of the day i was constantly left with this feeling of "who am i in all this?" , "where is the person whom i can call me?" and that is a very lonely place of being. Especially when you are younger. (This is i think, at least partially, why i may have caught on to the vibe what Vessel supposed to be about. Because either i like it or not, i get what it's like. At least a version of it. To be so empty that anything and everything that creates the illusion of feeling something, anything, it is good enough for the moment.)

And here comes Sleep Token again. Because the songs are highly, highly emotional. And here comes the brilliance of Vessel as a character because by design a vessel is a blank slate. Could be anyone, because it is supposedly empty. Which is a very familiar state of being for me. And that is what made for me so easy to connect and by proxy going through the motions and start to get eased into being comfortable with feeling things again.

It still in it's infancy, that is why i'm a wreck at days, because i'm still relearning stuff that was last natural for me around two decades ago. But i wanna get there. When i can just feel, without guidance. But this is something none of my supposedly professional therapist knew what to do with.

And here comes this british sadboy with his masks and bodypaint and i'm finally nudged away from point zero? Yeah, you can bet your ass i'll take my chances and be grateful for the rest of my life no matter how far it gets me. If it is a tenth of an inch than it is a tenth of an inch. It is still more progress than i ever had before.

4. being unashamed of feelz

Sounds contradictory to the previous point but not really. If you ever felt.. for example let's say obession, true obession you know it's not like any other feeling. It works differently. Not easily controllable and it could lead to anger and rage, end in agression, all sorts of not so great things.

These are stuff we all try to repress for understanable reasons. This is the stuff we know are bad because they usually can lead to bad things. We hear it all our lives. They aren't bad. Not necesseraly. So we shouldn't be afraid to feel them. Not without understanding they are there, either one wants it or not. These are just as natural than any other feeling and no less dangerous than the rest.

They are part of the human condition. But we need to learn to live with them and control them. Repressed things tend to just explode one day and that is when the damage happens. When something can exist in a controlled enviroment, and can be observed from different angles it can be understood. And we are usually not afraid of things we understand. We deal with them. That is the whole point.

And yet again, obsession is a heavy and somewhat recurring theme in ST lyrics either actually or on a meta level if you pay attention. And the way it is presented and integrated into the whole of the story created with the discography is what solidifies it as, a thing than can be observed. It can be understood.

And the honesty of how it is presented what makes me comfortable with the fact that no, i'm not a freak, i'm not abnormal because of it. But there is a conscientious choice to be made how i deal with it. How i learn to direct it to something positive and create something with it, insted of going the other way.

It's like murder. Everyone thinks about it. It doesn't mean everyone is a potential murderer waiting to snap. Fuck no. But we do think about it. Is it okay to think about it a lot? It's not my place to decide how much is too much. But thinking isn't the problem. It is how we talk about the fact that we think about it, can be a problem. Anyway i'm diverging to much into philosophising territories. It happens, sorry.

5. processing the mess in my head

This is a pretty straightforward one actually. My mind is a mess. My long term memory is patchy, the short term one is barely existant. I understand a lot of the world in certain ways but i know so little in others. ST makes me think a lot more.

I always catch a word or a phrase or a line, maybe a verse, that lodges itself behind my eye for a time and i just keep it rolling. Associating on it, connecting it to other stuff. It stops me for a minute and forces me to roll an idea over and over and over and over again in my head and just run with it until i end up with some sort of epiphany.

It doesn't have to be a big thing, it can be the smallest thing, something like a shiny glass ball in a box of far more interesting toys. But it is my glass ball, I picked the colour inside.

6. a healthier coping album

Yeah this one.. So for the longest time when my mind got murky and getting too lost into the void, music was what could drag me out of it. Since i was a kid, the album that could kick me back towards the tracks was Phobia from Breaking Benjamin. I put it on an usually by the end of it i sort of was back on a functioning state. Not a good place but a functionig one. But if you ever heard the album in it's entirety, it is hardly an uplifting one.

Now when i feel low i roll the first two ST albums in sequence. By the time i reach missing limbs i feel actually better. My mom put it to words really well when she said "I don't understand the words of what this man is singing about but i can guess he is not happy. Is it about sad things right? I feel that. But i like it because it feels more comforting instead of making me sad as well." And that i thinks sums it up pretty well. Because it is no longet the outstreched hand of you-are-not-alone but the outstreched soul that cries you-can-find-yourself-in-me. And that is the definition of comforting for me. (Yes i love that phrace because it fits, let me be proud of myself for saying something that sounds good for once.)

And that is pretty much it for now. There should be a few more things ST is a reasonably large part of my self-journey but i've gotta think on it more i think. I'm not even sure i realize all of it.

I'll link a separete post here at the end which sums up how i got to this place i am. It is heavily abbreviated but it is still feels too long. It is certainly far more personal than this but i think it adds context to what was written above. But i don't want to clutter this one with that kind of personal stuff, also it's just an optional thing for anyone who wishes to maybe understand me a bit better and where i come from. [link to said post] Just for the record: this post does mention mental a physical abuse (no sexual one), self harm, mental issues, so all the fun stuff, but does not detail it.

[angeldiaries777]

trigger warning mental health, online addiction. personal stuff!!! i don't want to post anymore. part one of two.

i don't want to try so hard anymore. going to be real here for a sec i don't like my life. i don't like who i am. i don't like this app. i don't like this world or any of the people in it. i do need help. i need a lot of help. i don't like this blog anymore. its not fun. its not carefree. its just something i do now subconsciously with zero effort. its not me. its not cool. i don't like it. i'm not enjoying it at all. since i deleted quite literally every other app this is where i go on for everything. and thats just toxic. i am not having fun like i said a thousand times before. i just want my thoughts and things i liked at the time to be docutmented somehwere on some account because i know i will forget. i am very miserable in my life and with myself. i know that i need to stop using this app as much as i do and same with a few others and certain accounts on websites i just have nothing left in me. i've always posted online. ive always interacted online. i've always been obsessed with watching content and consuming media books movies shows music etc etc. and i'm feeling fatigue from it. idk how many more fucking lana del rey gifs i can reblog till i lose my fucking shit for good and end it all. everything that inspired me is dull. the relationships and parasocial relationships i form with celebrities characters and people online is just plain unhealthy. especially when its causing me to ignore the ones i have in real life. i need a break. i need a break from all the media i consume. i need a break from music and from tumblr and from everything else that is slolwly rotting my brain. the attachment i have to these apps is unhealthy. the amount of time i spend on my phone or ipad or literally any other device is actually sickly. i need a break from looking at or even just holding my phone for so many hours a day. i need an actual sleep schedule and i need to not wake up at 4am and have my first thought be to open tumblr or to save pins on pinterest. i got rid of so many physical items and cut off so many people but the actual thing hurting me the most is my addiction to the internet and to media. i need to stop posting. i need to stop interacting i need to stop watching videos and movies and listening to music at the rates that i do. it is unhealthy at best and detrimental to my life and health at worst. its like those interventions they have for people with alcohol or other addictions. ive known this about myself for a long time and it only worsens the more time passes. i have issues!!!!! i have real issues in my real life that will not be solved by venting about it to my 8 followers. i need to stop. i need to sit alone with my thoughts without a podcast or an album playing in the background. i need to see what my life is like and who i am without all of this. without the things i thought i liked. the things i thought were keeping me alive and sane and healthy were actually the most destructive. i need to stop relying so heavily on things that don't exist. all these pictures and people are fake. i"m not a character or a stereotype. im a fucking person. whenever i got a negative comment i used to lay awake thinking about that. its not okay anymore. its affecting my life way too much. i don't want to think of the world and only think of what i see online because i don't love my reality. i don't want to be sad anymore. i don't want to know what that person across the world thinks of that topic or what kim kardashian had for breakfast. i want to actually live my life again for what it is and not what i wished it was. because truth be told i am very blessed in sooo many ways and i take it for granted so often. i am so much more than that sad face emoticon on somebodys phone screen. i don't want to see the same pictures of bella hadid on every fucking app with the same generic text and font over it. i don't want to consume copious amounts of self help content anymore whilst refusing to actually do any of that self help when im clearly not qualified and clearly need professional help.

[rippeds0cks]

5/27/2023

Im falling apart at the seams physically. My body cant keep up with all the pressure, stress, and work im putting it through. Its to the point where im taking ludicrous amounts of meds to keep it together. My body hurts so fucking bad from my muscles to my tendons to my bones im in pain all day. If i lose focus on whatever motor function im doing (using stairs, walking, running, fighting) i just collapse. Ive been dropping things cause the nerve damage in my hands is progressively getting worse. I deserve it though not only for being a piece of shit and failing those around me but just for my existence. My pops always told me growing up that “guys like us arent supposed to do well or live long” and i guess he was right cause im barely keeping myself in one piece. It’s ok tho cause im living for absolutely nothing right now. If i drop dead a couple people here n there will be sad but theyll soon forget and move on. I dont contribute anything to anyones life so its not like anything crumbles in my absence. Anyways every little detail ive ever known of my ex flooded back into my mind today in the gym and it left me fighting back tears and choking up while working out. Everything from how her old fursona back when she was a furry was a dutch angel dragon, how beautiful she looked everytime i saw her and her face lit up, the one time we were standing in the park at night and she kissed me and said “feels familiar”, how she always wanted to play apex or valorant, and most importantly as for now, how she used to make music. For shits and giggles i decided to go see if her music page was still up and it was. I decided to listen for old times sake and it reminded me of how i never told her how good i thought she was. I went straight to criticism and telling her how to improve it. Idk why im like that. Maybe cause its the way my parents were to me anytime i did anything i dont know. Its no excuse though. Dont get me wrong she still did rookie things like fill syllables with unnecessary curse words or make her vocals too low in the mixing process but its genuinely good music and ive been listening all day. Listening to the lyrics has made me realize how much i failed her. She placed a lot of emphasis and faith on me to help her or value her and i failed. And while my therapist would say something along the lines of “its not your responsibility to carry the burden of her happiness” i dont believe that to be the case at all. I think its something she placed in my hands trusting me and i failed. And that doesnt negate the insane way things ended between us. Her mother is still batshit fucking insane for the next level mental manipulation she did to my ex to make her mental state even more volatile than before. Idk. Maybe its my fault for leaving in the first place. Ive failed her every other way i cant not think i failed her by leaving and making those the only people she spent time around. Back when we first got together shes agree when her mother would say insane shit or treat her bad or her sister would bully her but by the end of it she flat out didnt think those things were happening. I just hope she got therapy like i begged her to so many times. Her ex best friend is a piece of shit though. Texting your best friends ex of almost 5 years the week after they have a nuclear break up confessing your unhealthy obsession from almost 6 years ago is disgusting. I was nice and all in my response because i thought my ex and her were doing it together as like a test of my character but i later found out it was just her disgusting ex best friend. And her reasoning as to why my ex shouldnt have gotten mad was “ive known you longer” no you dumb bitch youve known OF me longer. I didnt speak to you for 5 years you let this middle school crush go to your fucking head. I shared everything, heart and soul, with my ex for four almost 5 years and your disgusting selfish ass thinks you know me better cause we were locker mates in the 8th grade? Truly disgusting insane gross behavior. Anyways heres my exes music

[allhailbrokeloose]

so uh.. ive watched a couple of series recently (actually not that recently but whatevs) which im most likely not gonna be obsessed with, but still i feel the urge to post my very important opinion somewhere. ⚠️its mostly not complimentary, so if you are a fan, dont read⚠️ ⚠️barely readable bc typing is fun, but editing is an actual job⚠️ ⚠️i violate italics⚠️ ⚠️not spoiler free ofc bc what do you think this is⚠️ ⚠️i bring up kp for no reason an unhealthy amount⚠️ and even skam one time. yeah i kno, im surprised too

the shows are big dragon, wednesday, and lita

there are three good things abt big dragon: 1) ost (heeey jeeeffff) 2) that one boob grab (you know the one) 3) isbanky (very cute and sings well). the rest imo is not good at all, but ig its ok for a bl (bc i have to say ive seen worse). ig im gonna need to read some fics bc i need 1) it to actually be hot and kinky 2) someone to explain me why would yai ever choose mangkorn aside from yin yang, red strings of fate, turtles and all the other animals. it also seems to me that lead actors have more chemistry outside of the series than in it, at least from what ive seen of them in the wild. afair there was sorta cliffhanger promising s02.. am i gonna watch it? you'll be surprised, but yes, isbanky is very much up my alley, im willing to suffer a little bit for a cute boy lol. but they seriously need to cut on the time freezing thing 🙄

wednesday.. oh where do i start.. my most prevailing thought was but.. but thats not.. thats not what being an outcast feels like.. i mean come on they gave her an unconditional punchbag of a best friend who is putting up with all her quirks no questions asked and willing to die for her, two (??!!! (and actually even more if you squint)) love interests, a high fashion dress (im like.. 🤦🏼‍♀️ i cant) and everyone else just generally look at her with admiration like she hanged the moon completely out of nowhere. i mean what is this? a mary sue fanfic? anyways i have to say that i really liked the first ep and i was very excited abt this series, but the more i watched the less i liked it.. the cast.. well i like original wednesday better and when i say original i mean 1991 movie (but not 1993 lol) and i mean christina ricci ofc.. catherine zeta jones is cool, but once again original morticia was better. i have no issues with gomez casting, but the best gomez was in the 60s b&w series. thing is rocking, zero complaints here. fester is almost there even tho its impossible to top christopher lloyd. and where is itt? did they gatekeep him for future seasons? the plot.. uh the plot is meh.. i only wanna say that i hate it when protagonists ancestor looks exactly like them bc its totally plausible and it just highlights how ruthless and pointless life really is lol. oh yeah oslo i had to pause and scream a long and loud NOOOOO during the kiss scene. its like idk so uncalled for do you guys have nothing sacred at all lol. otherwise i liked the music ofc Except dua lipa, i mean dgmw i listened to future nostalgia on repeat as much as the next girl, but its just not the song for this series im sorry.. they could have found a more suitable song with the same exact message.. anyways am i gonna watch next seasons? yes, but only out of respect for tim burton and the original franchise. i mean it wasnt terrible, it just wasnt what i wanted..

omg you guys the second cp in lita is like soooo gooood, so much better than the first one lol (i wonder if they do cp rivalry like we do in kp). which came as a surprise to me bc i started watching this series for the vegaspete bastard love child and unfortunately i was sorta disappointed.. dgmw hes very attractive and has unique facial features, but he cant pull off the ao3 alpha he was supposed to act out even next to one brain celled oblivious partner (no offence lol). idk maybe hes too young. or im just too old. ig its the latter bc i watched all four of them like they are an omega camp on roaming, ig im just not the target audience of this show 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️. anyways imo the first cp was boring and i really didnt expect anything out of the series, but then second cp plot started and i literally lit up. they really do have chemistry inside and outside of the show, the acting is somewhat better, the only but for me is that the plot was unnecessarily too dark, especially after the mawkishness of the first half. i have to mention that i paralleled them with norhelm at some point which is so hilarious to me. in short i stan this cp but just in case they do individual stanning like we do in kp (meaning hating eo guts) then my bias is peat <333 one thing really squicked me - the author (was it a novel?) obv has a kink for infantilization and helplessness and sadly they put it in both plots and not as a prediscussed kink (which is ok), but as real life situations. its a huge yikes and a big no-no for me, but to each their own ig, im not gonna undust my moral compass for a bl. what else.. oh they should really stop with reusing footage bc im still seeing this fucking truck driving in my nightmares. and i didnt like the opening ost so much i had to skip it every time. well ig not everyone can afford an ost by slot machine or jeff satur 😏😏😏. oh yeah and the whole weather referencing was cute uwu

[deadthehype]

Skepta - Love Me Not (feat. Chen Ravi & B Live)

[sangonomiyashrine]

heyhey! can i get a kin thing for BNHA, haikyuu and danganronpa please?

she/her, INFP, ambivert

personality: im very bubbly, whimsical and sweet, and i love to compliment people and hype them up whenever they need it. Probably use the word “lovely” way too much. However, despite being bubbly and talktative i very rarely open up about myself/my interests. When you really know me i’m sarcastic, and i’m usually the really dumb friend everyone makes fun of (lovingly) bc i lack common sense but ive got the spirit lmao. Always energetic and down to do ANYTHING

hobbies: dancing/listening to music. idk if you could call it working out but i regularly put on my favourite music and just dance for hours in my kitchen at nights so lmao. also journalling, reading, annotating books. SHOPPING is my no 1 hobby tho i am always shopping for smth. Also love the colour pink an unhealthy amount

emotional state: ummmmmmmm im running on adrenaline we dont talk about her

social skills: people describe me as charming and charismatic, i love talking to people and making friends but i only have a few close CLOSE friends u get me

random facts

- obsessed w taylor swift

- my music taste goes from mcr/arctic monkeys etc to taylor swift/katy perry

- i spend like 99% of life daydreaming

you remind me of..

I also thought of Ochako Uraraka and Ibuki Mioda.

Nejire Hado - she's very bubbly and whimsical, always interested in learning about other people but doesn't share much about herself. she shows her excitement towards others and compliments people often. she's pretty much the scatterbrained "dumb" friend that everyone makes fun of, albeit out of good spirit because nobody could dislike her because she's so charming. she is filled with energy and probably down to do anything. although she loves talking to others and making friends, her more polite attitude tends to be reserved for her closer friends.

Shoyo Hinata - he's very bubbly and energized, especially when it comes to talking to others. he tends to compliment others and hype them up, because he sees something admirable in everybody. he can lack common sense sometimes which causes his friends to comment on it, but he's very charming and leaves an impact on everyone, even if the first interaction was a negative one. he's definitely ready to do anything at anytime.

Aoi Asahina - she's very bubbly and sweet, always complimenting others and cheering them up if needed. she's more of an ambivert, though she likes talking to others a lot. she can be a bit forgetful and scatterbrained, leading others to comment on it. she has the spirit though, she's very energetic and down to do anything. she can be pretty emotional underneath this and although she's friendly with everyone, it's clear who her closest friends are.

[bruhman745]

Is it weird that I kinda wanna go through Mumbos videos and pick out elements I really like about them. I've been studying media since I was like 14 (our gcses, British btw, start when you're in year 9/10 so 14/15 basically.)

But like seeing him take that break makes me sad because I'm going to be doing a media production degree and seeing Mumbo get excited about projects has always made me happy. So hearing him feel anxious about posting cuz of pressures is just :(

oh not at all! i do that with concerts and music all the time (the amount of times ive listened to the patd live in denver 2006 concert is unhealthy at this point)

and i relate to him taking a break sm,,, i attempted to do content creation at one point and it was So Draining. u had to post every day and stream every other just to get a few people's attention. (i may pick it up again someday, but i think writing and music are much more creatively fulfilling for me :))

I'm glad he's avoiding the long-term burnout and taking care of himself, u don't really see that often with how fast-paced the internet is right now

[losing-track]

4. Dream job 👜 6. Fun fact about you 7. Favorite colour 🍁 8. Hobbies 🐌 11. Favorite subject 🎓 12. Best vacation 🌞 13. Favorite country 🪐 18. TV show you’d recommend to everyone 📺 19. Favorite type of jewelry 📿 20. Do you have or want any tattoos? 📜 31. What really makes you angry? 🏉

oooh this is going to be a bit long

Dream job 👜

tbh i would love to work at jetpens-

fun fact about me

i have a unhealthy amount of pens and markers thats growing in an alarming rate

Favorite colour 🍁

sage green and dusty purple

Hobbies 🐌

playing mc, imagining fake scenarios, and listening to music

Favorite subject 🎓

ive answered this before, but its history !!

Best vacation 🌞

oh tokyo for sure

Favorite country 🪐

my country, duh /j

TV show you’d recommend to everyone 📺

idk if it counts as a "TV show" but ive been watching hospital playlist lately and i really like it! (even if youre not personally into kdramas or medical stuff)

Favorite type of jewelry 📿

oh bracelets for sure

Do you have or want any tattoos? 📜

nah, not really

What really makes you angry? 🏉

seeing negativity when im in a good mood. and exclusionists

[jonismitchell]

that stereogum review… thank u to whoever recced it bc its summed up everything ive felt so far but also made me nervous for this album lol. this line: “Lorde clearly does not want to be the voice of a generation, and that’s alright, but Solar Power lacks the ambition that comes with someone who is at least flirting with the possibility that maybe a single song could change your life.” - i feel like something this era is missing is just some bite, not to compare them but you know how with taylor it feels like she does want to constantly better herself (bc she cares about public opinion to an unhealthy amount lol), it feels like thats what lorde is missing a bit? idk i know living up to melodrama is an impossible task and lorde must’ve known that too, but i do think she peaked early and is perhaps resting on her laurels a little, like combined w the comment she made about making this album so other musicians would “see what she did there” or something like that, it just feels a bit uninspired. there’s no urgency, which was one of the things that made melodrama great. and because she’s resigned herself by already saying ‘no, this is not going to be super remarkably special or save you or mirror your thoughts’, she set the bar too low for herself? and its just not connecting with people because of that? idk i might have just got carried away and not have made any sense, or maybe i’m being unfair and still holding her to unrealistic expectations bc of melodrama lol

literally literally literally! you’ve put it all into words so well. i do think that there’s something to be said about having high standards but wanting to listen to something that isn’t tepid garbage is not a high standard. even if lorde is gravitating towards more lowkey production than she has in the past, it’s still possible that she applies some interesting lyrics or perspective to the music she’s making. there isn’t any drive in what we’ve heard from solar power so far, nothing that makes me want to replay the songs or analyze them for details, and that’s quite disappointing. i hope the album will yield some songs that are more enjoyable.

[ohimtherebabey]

spotify says "theres new music from frank iero" baby i know. im aware. ive already listened to it an unhealthy amount of times.

[chillmayo]

all I've done today is ate Chinese food and an unhealthy amount of brownies and listened to music

I'd call it a great day ngl

you asshole. ive never tasted chinese food and the last time i ate brownies was 2 months ago, dont rub it in. i listened to music too tho.

all my days suck but im glad urs was good peaches <3

[youllallriseintheink]

Sanctuary

Request from Threadedsafetypin: a story about Jack helping Sammy to recover from ink infection.

---

Most members of the Joey Drew Studios music room knew that Sammy behaving strangely was status quo. So, when was Sammy first infected with ink, few people were alarmed. Complaining about seeing Bendy in his sleep? Stress. Increased irritability? Stress. Spacing out more often, seeming more exhausted, looking more drawn and bedraggled than usual? Poor guy really has to get a grip on his life- but at least he’s still functioning well enough to get the songs out on time.

Jack Fain, Sammy’s best friend, was the only one who realized that this wasn’t just one of Sammy’s episodes. He’d confronted Sammy about it a couple weeks ago, and it hadn’t gone well. He had snapped about his health being his own business and told Jack to go away.

Jack was used to Sammy being irritable, so he didn’t take it personally. “Okay. I can’t help you if you’re not ready. Just know that I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk. I care about you, and want you to be okay. Alright?”

Sammy had grumbled an “alright,” and left. His symptoms had only worsened since then, and Jack was rather worried that Sammy would never be “ready”- at least, not until he was very ill. But he couldn’t think of any way to help the process along unless Sammy was on board as well.

Then, one day while Jack was working in the sewers, he heard footsteps. Only Sammy knew that he hid away in the sewers, so it had to be him. Jack got up to meet him, and saw that Sammy had a defeated look on his face.

“Remember when you said to come to you when I was ready? Well, I’m ready,” Sammy said, as though admitting a dark secret. He took off the white gloves he’d taken to wearing lately, revealing ink-black hands. “The ink did this to me, and tried to convince me that it was a good thing, but I can’t deny that this is a problem anymore. I don’t think that a hospital could help me, and I’m scared that Joey would kill me if it got out the public. I don’t know what to do.”

Jack stood stunned a moment, looking at Sammy’s hands. They clearly weren’t just stained, but tainted down to the bone. It looked like there were some pockets of ink just beneath the surface as well.

“It’s okay. I’ll find out what to do,” Jack promised.

---

“Norman, can you come with me for a minute?” Jack asked. “I need to ask Mr. Drew something he won’t enjoy answering, and I’m hoping that if you’re there next to me, he won’t kill me on the spot for it. Alright? All you’ll have to do is stand there. And you’ll probably get some nice secrets out of it.”

Excited at the thought of listening in on such a conversation, Norman agreed, and the two of them made their way to Joey’s office. The door shut loudly.

“Joey,” Jack began, in a tone one might use to calm down a wild animal, “someone I care deeply about is infected with ink. Now look- I don’t want trouble. I don’t have any personal reason to want your secrets to get out. Please tell me how to help him get better, and I’ll do it completely inconspicuously if it’s possible.”

---

“What did he say?” Sammy asked. The look on Jack’s face wasn’t especially encouraging.

“Well, he said that a hospital can help you- if we take you a couple miles from New York, first. He said that the ink is alive in you, and it needs to be taken away from the ink machine in order to kill it. If we don’t do that, the ink will live in you no matter what anyone tries to do to get rid of it, and you’ll be in and out of treatment for the rest of your life- which would likely be a very short, unhealthy one. So, that isn’t an option.”

Sammy didn’t understand why Jack looked so hopeless at the thought of killing the ink. “Okay,” Sammy said cautiously, “That sounds doable. What else?”

“Well, the thing is that once the ink is dead, it won’t be able to help keep you alive, so all that tissue damage, organ damage, and dehydration is actually going to hurt you. Joey gave me some tips on how to increase the chance that you’ll end up at the hospital alive, but it’s still possible you won’t make it.”

Sammy was in shock. “I-I might die before I make it the hospital?”

“Yes. Joey said that you should go home and eat something with a lot of liquid in it. I take it you physically haven’t been able to drink anything but ink in a while, have you?”

“It’s been a few weeks,” Sammy admitted.

“He also said that we should lance any obvious deposits of ink before we head out. I can help you with the lancing. And... one last thing, Sammy?”

“Yes?”

“I quit this place, because it’s dripping with a deadly biohazard. I definitely suggest you do the same- especially if you’re in the habit of drinking ink, which Joey said you might be.”

Sammy sucked in a deep breath. “Please tell me that’s everything.”

“That’s everything.”

“Alright. Thank you, Jack. Honestly, thank you.”

The two went to Jack’s place, and with a knife, they set to work lancing any obvious deposits of ink. Sammy had them all over- on his legs, on his chest, his back, and some fairly severe ones on his hands. One by one, they were cut open, squeezed out, and bandaged. By the end, Sammy was in a lot of pain, and Jack’s bathtub was stained not only with substantial amounts of ink, but with a fair amount of blood.

“I don’t feel stronger,” Sammy admitted, looking down with his arms crossed over himself. “What if Joey gave us this advice to trick you into killing me? Or he didn’t understand how far along I was?”

Jack sighed. He’d made a good point, honestly. But Sammy needed comfort. “He didn’t lie. I’m sure of it. Just trust me, alright?”

“Alright,” Sammy replied.

“Do you want to stay over tonight?” Jack asked, “It might help you dread tomorrow a little less.”

“Are you sure you want me here? I’ll get ink and blood all over the place.”

“You will? Then we haven’t bandaged you up enough- you shouldn’t be leaking like that. And anyhow, don’t worry about it- it’s just one night, I don’t want you to go through this alone.”

Sammy agreed to stay over, though all he wanted to do was wash off and rest. The next day, the two of them headed out of New York in Jack’s car.

“Alright, Sammy, you know the drill. Tell me when you feel the ink dying, and I’ll turn the car around as quickly as possible.”

Sammy nodded. It was only a few miles before he did.

“Now,” Sammy croaked. He was already looking greener. Jack found a place to turn around and took it. 

 “Everything hurts...” Sammy complained. It was true. He felt weak and heavy, as though a large percentage of his body had suddenly become dead weight. His lungs stung, and when his breathing was wet and slightly laboured. Pain was building in his head, in the cuts he’d given himself the day before, and especially in his organs. 

“It’ll be okay, Sammy. I promise. Just hang in there, and drink some water.” 

Though it was hardly his most overpowering sensation, Sammy was very thirsty. Jack watched with concern as Sammy took one of water bottles in weak, shaky hands, took a sip from it, and then fell forwards, entirely limp.

 Jack slammed his foot on the gas pedal. He was going about 85 miles an hour, and he mentally calculated that he’d need about eight minutes to get Sammy to the outskirts of town and hopefully not too much longer to get him to a hospital. Risky as it was, Jack grabbed Sammy’s hand to check for a pulse. It was certainly there. A cop by the side of the road saw them, but let them go by- perhaps seeing that Jack was hardly doing this for pleasure. Thankfully, traffic was thin that day. Jack checked Sammy’s pulse again while at a stop sign- still strong, and pulled up in front of a hospital. He ran in, pushed his way past a line of people, and spoke to the secretary. “My friend is in my car. He’s unconscious and I have reason to believe that he needs immediate attention if he’s going to live. Please help him.” 

Within a minute, Sammy was being rushed in for medical attention, leaving Jack to wait in the lobby and fill out the necessary forms. Hours later, a nurse approached him. “You’re Jack Fain, the one who brought in Sammy Lawrence?”

 “Yes,” Jack answered.

“Well, Mr. Fain, we have some serious questions for you. What happened to Sammy? His condition isn’t exactly easy to identify.”

“His workplace is filled with a biohazard. He got infected and kept it secret for weeks. How is he? Is his condition stable?”

The nurse grimaced. “Stable, yes. He’s on life support, but we’ll be able to keep him alive. We’re not sure when or if he’ll wake up again since we haven’t been able to diagnose. Would you like to see him?”

“Sure,” Jack replied.

Seeing Sammy laying still as a corpse on a hospital bed, with three different IVs in his arm, a tube in his throat, and the beep of a heart monitor nearby, was not an encouraging sight. It moved Jack to tears. “Call me when he’s up. Or when it’s time to say goodbye,” Jack croaked to the nurse. With that, he left.

Jack spent the next few days fraught with anxiety. To make matters worse, the hospital had called Jack to ask where Sammy had worked and gotten infected. Jack had said he didn’t know, because he didn’t want to risk either of them being killed by Joey for leaking his secrets. If Sammy died, he’s have to wonder if it was partially on his own hands. Jack’s husband tried to reassure him that he’d done all that could be done, and Jack knew it was true, but it was still a scary time.

In what felt like weeks but was actually just a couple days, the hospital called Jack and told him that Sammy’s tissue damage seemed to be repairing itself and that he was responding well to treatment. Thankfully, none of his organs had been damaged enough to require a transplant. A week later, he was called to tell him that Sammy was awake again.

Seeing Sammy again was a massive weight off Jack’s shoulders. The dark spots on his body had shrunk significantly, and he looked much healthier, especially now that most of those tubes and wires were gone.

“Sammy. You’re alive.”

“Yep. I must be part cockroach because it takes quite a bit to kill me.”

Jack smiled. “Ha, yeah. The radio is calling you a walking miracle. Even though probably haven’t walked yet, since you just woke up.”

Sammy prickled. “No, I can walk. I’m not that weak!”

“Right, sorry. So, when you woke up, did they pepper you with questions on how you got into this state in the first place?”

Sammy took a quick look around the room to make sure no one was listening in. “Well, they asked me where I worked. I told them it was an ink manufacturing plant that I didn’t remember the name of. I think they bought it. Why, are people pestering you about it?”

“No. But I’ve been hearing about the investigation on the radio. They all want to know about the man who who somehow got several pounds of ink into his system and lived. As far as I can tell, no one suspects a thing about our old workplace, or magic. I think we’re free of it, buddy. I don’t think Joey is ever going to be in our lives again.”

Now Sammy looked like a weight had been lifted from him. “I had no idea how badly I needed to hear that until now.”

Over the coming weeks, Jack regularly visited Sammy in the hospital. He looked stronger every time Jack saw him. The news story died down without much fanfare. Sammy got out with a clean bill of health, and Joey Drew Studios gradually became a distant memory to them.

[emybain]

bc ive been listening to an unhealthy amount of musicals/Disney songs recently, im making a list of songs that radiate nova energy bc i would die (of happiness or laughter) if renegades became a musical. please add on as you see fit with nova and other characters

reflection from mulan

journey to the past from Anastasia

once upon a December from Anastasia

god help the outcasts from hunchback of notre dame

poor unfortunate souls from the little mermaid (idk either just the vibes)

be prepared from the lion king

ive got a dream from tangled

honor to us all from mulan

i won’t say im in love from Hercules

how does a moment last forever from beauty and the beast

mother knows best from tangled (think relationship between her and honey)

show yourself from frozen 2 

[incorrect-clone-wars-quotes]

Tagged by: @doctorsteeb (i dont think ive ever actually done one of these on tumblr before so thanks!!)

Nickname: bella (short for isabella) my mom tried to get me to go by izzy in middle school as a part of my quirky xD smol bean phase ((those were dark times))

Zodiac: taurus!! that’s all i know about astrology

Height: 5′5 and 1/2

Hogwarts house: slytherin and also fuck jk rowling trans women are women bitch!!! fuck you!!!!

Last thing I googled: the imdb pages for some movies, cause i’ve been making some minimalist posters for my room (here’s a link to the google drive of all, if u wanna see them lol)

Song stuck in my head: the song “homage” by mild high club is used on tiktok a lot and the first few lines get stuck in my head quite frequently

Number of followers: currently on this blog, 4,765 - on my personal probably like 2 lmao

Amount of sleep: since i haven't been waking up early to go to school, i've been doing the 12 am --> 10 am routine and its very unhealthy but i live by it

Lucky number: 8!! i was born on may 8th which is rlly the only reason idk

Dream job: i’d love to be a concept artist or character designer one day!!

Wearing: black jeans & a school play t shirt (i got some people to sign it and it makes me sad bc i miss our seniors)

Favourite song: i don't think i rlly have one!! i listen to a variety of diff genres.. i have a musical theatre playlist, a playlist of some music i don't rlly know that well that a friend made me,, i've been listening to so much mcr lately dont @ me im mentally in middle school again

Favourite instrument: i vibe w the drums i think, just cause i feel like i could be a drummer if i was cool enough

Aesthetic: oh my god i don’t KNOW everything is pretty. i like minimalist but also cottagecore and dark academia but i’m also an art hoe AAAAA

Favourite author: i don’t have a large enough attention span for reading and i haven’t read a book out of my own free will since like 6th grade so im gonna say my favorite artists instead 

Favorite artist: i really vibe with keith haring bc his lines are very bold and his art is very colorful also he’s very anti establishment and i feel that especially rn

Favourite animal noise: i recently took care of my neighbors cat while they were away and cat purring is so soothing,,, but also like. when puppies yawn and it’s like that little squeak noise... oh my GOD

Random: god knives out is so fucking good. everything about it. god DAMN

Tagging: anyone who wants because i don’t rlly have a lot of tumblr mutuals lmao