#ive never been to a convention thingie before

[crystalmagpie447]

man forget lightbox

i wanna see fnaf movie

(/J)

[dried-mushroom]

Hi hello! I absolutely adore how you write! It’s so nice to read~

Ive Seen the dating profile thingy you’ve posted of Harlan, and the „cuddling“ really caught my eye :0

Idk if you take requests right now, but if you do, could you maybe write something about how Harlan or AM get some well deserved cuddles? 👉👈

Have a lovely day! :D

Aww thank you so much, (I might do this for AM as well hehe) I really hope you enjoy this :)

Take a break

Harlan Ellison x Fem! reader

(tbh this one is a little vague in Harlan's description so it can be read as younger or older Harlan. It's up to you Pookie)

Summary: Harlan is having a severe case of writer's block and needs to relax (aka a shit ton of affection).

You were splayed out on the couch, messy h/c hair creating a halo around your head. You lazily drew patterns on the arm of the sofa, whilst the distinctive sound of typing filled the air. You lolled your head to the side, as Harlan sloped over the typewriter opposite where you were lying with a severe case of writer's block, to see how tense he was.

Your eyes travelled over the countless books and trinkets around the room to the expanse of his back and shoulders. Your eyes widen as you hear him sharply inhale and rip the paper out of the typewriter, discarding it onto the floor. When your eyes drifted lower, you saw the number of balls of crinkled paper beside the wooden chair he sat in, and your gaze softened.

You were another speculative fiction writer, that was one of the reasons he absolutely adored you. You met him at a convention, where you asked him to sign your old copy of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream and Spider Kiss, he had also heard of your works and didn't think you were too shabby at the genre.

When you walked up to the desk he sat at, and it just clicked between you both, a bit of a cliche but you didn't mind (plus he did have you ride him in the backseat of his car swiftly after the convention ended). You and Harlan had been together for a number of years and hadn't quarrelled once so you had come to learn his mannerisms and him, yours.

You rolled off the sofa, sauntering over to the man who ran his hands through his soft hair, clearly irritated. You stood beside him and with two fingers you tilted his chin towards you, he looked up at you with, in your opinion, the most adorable pout you've ever seen on a man (you would never dream of telling him this though), You knew he was frustrated about some aspect of the new story he was trying to write and he needed to relax before it consumed him. You'd know because it has happened to you in the past and writer's block is one of the most excruciating things to go through for an author, for you, it led you to question your own capabilities.

"Honey, What's going on in that amazingly talented brain of yours?'

He looked up at you with his ethereal blue eyes before nuzzling his head against your stomach and mumbling against you;

"It's just so frustrating. I've spent so long creating this world and ideas just for it to amount to nothing, absolutely nothing. I fear my talent may have waned over the years."

You cradle his head in your hands (think challengers), stroking his cheek lovingly.

"Harlan Ellison. You are the most talented writer I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and your talent has not waned ever since you started writing. God I practically fell in love with you the moment I read Spider Kiss when I was 15. Now come on baby, you need to take a break."

That was another thing Harlan loved you for, your endless compassion towards him. He knew he could be a massive pain in the ass sometimes but you still treated him no differently even before you started living together. He smiled up at you, as you moved your hands to grasp him, pulling him from his seat up the carpet-clad stairs to your shared bedroom, him following diligently behind you.

It was approaching dusk already, so you closed the curtains in the room and got changed into something more comfortable, you could feel Harlan's obvious gaze on your body and you rolled your eyes in jest. You returned the favour when he removed the tight black shirt he was wearing and got into bed, you following in pursuit. Once you both got settled, he did something unexpected he started nuzzling into your chest, and you felt his arms embracing you, pulling you so close the warmth from his chest radiated through the thin material of your singlet. You eagerly reciprocated, intertwining your legs with his and stroking his back softly. He murmured against your chest,

"Thank you, I mean it. I don't think I deserve you sometimes, "

That made you smile. You kissed his foreheard before slowly succumbing to sleep.That night, Harlan peacefully fell asleep listening to your heartbeat.

The end

I'm sorry it's short and if I'm not writing fast, I'm trying to write the handful of requests I got (keep em coming and thank you to those who did request.)

[aamethyst000]

Another Late night May 5,24 - 3:07am

Even when i take my meds, i cant seem to sleep. so i think i may need those melatonin stuff, i think ill take them in gummy form. now that i have emulators downloaded, i think that is what ill use up my time for. Especially if i cant sleep. Change of subject, since i havent worked for a whole ass year now, i am just going to start looking for a job. at least, what i can do here in this small(ish) village (i say "ish" because, as ive been told on may occasions, we arent exactly "small" we have about 4200 and more while the other villages has way less than that). there isnt much to do, and i want to save up money to move and possibly visit my older brother who lives down south. since ive been planning this for years, i have been getting better at saving up my money. so far, the method i have been using is working now. i got less than i have hoped but it is way better than nothing (i definitely would have cried about having no savings). im just so worried about never having enough. since prices have gone up, it has been making me very hesitant about moving anywhere. owning is too expensive, renting is way out of my limit, even with one other roommate. it got to the point where i added another person to my personal plan to move down south. I dont mind it, since its my best friend. but i also have plans to move in with my brother too. whoc was my original plan; find an appartment and move in with him.

then, after my little brother graduates, he and i can save up and have him move in with us! i want that more than anything. Before this whole ordeal. i wanted to move in with my 2(two) childhood best friends. then shit happens in our own life, individually that is, like, it got so bad that we drifted apart and it is not even our own fault (or am i just making an excuse for us?). It sucks, but what can i do? one lives in the same village as i do and i hardly go to see her, the other lives in town and she, herself, doesnt go see anyone othere than her immediate family. shit got crazy during our teen years man, it isnt even funny.

anyway, i figured, since i cant fall asleep, il just use this time to rant/vent about whatever was on my mind. and it seems to be on the past, im trying to let that go but i cant, or rather, i dont want to. cause as much as i hated being that young and naive, and those shit happening to us and around us. there were good moments that over ride the bad in my life, and i am desperately clinging on to that hope and happiness i had before turning 13-14. and that is way too young to be left undiagnosed and depressed.

but who would believe a teenager actually being depressed? we were "attention seekers" and "trend follower" (to be very fair though, i really did try to follow a lot of trends in my life) there was even a moment where i went to this little convention event thingy that was going on in my village, and it was about suicide prevention. so, i decided to go, because if i wasnt going to get help from my own family, i may as well get it from somewhere else (i really was trying so hard to activly not look for bad habits to start on, one of them was already developing without me knowing or realizing...so). when i got there, and we got into a circle to introducing ourselves, open up and talk. the instructor said to talk about why some of us choose to go to that event, so when it was my turn. i talked about how i--

((((by the way, very strong TRIGGER WARNING!!!! talks about suicide attempt and possible eating disorder))))

--was feeling so alone and just so very lost and caged up because of my ex boyfriend, i sat there on my bed with scissors i grabbed from the kitchen and just stared at my arm. i didnt message anyone, or even write a letter. i just wanted out. i opened the scissors enough to make it easy to hurt myself, that part alone i was trying to figure out how i should do it. that thought did scare me at the time but it does now, holy shit. anyway, i made the decision and then, like a movie theatre, memories of both my brothers played in my head, their smiles and laughter loud and clear for me. like someone was there just waiting for the right moment to show me them, who ever they were, im glad and thankful. because at the very lowest moment of my life, i was already struggling with my eating habits. there was no inbetween for me. i either ate a lot, enough to be "teased" about looking or "being preggo" which is sick by the way when your teasing a literal MINOR (12 through 17) about being pregnant. like, why would you even do that? anyway, it wasnt my family that unintentionally helped me develop those bad eating habits. it was my friends and me comparing myself to every girl and characters out there.

i didnt care that it was a bad thing to get into at the time, to me, i was surrounded by girls that were skinnier than me, or, who i thought were skinnier than me. ive seen photos that my family and friends took of me, i cannot believe that i ever thought i was ever fat, ever, but i guess thats what low self esteem and bad comparisons does to you. i mustve been looking through foggy mirrors how dysphoric(???) i fucking felt. it was so bad that most days i choose to either have one meal or throw that plate away in my own garbage bag and just have a toast for my first "meal". i didnt care about the calories i was eating up, or lack therof, like raw ichiban, dry cereal, or just popcorn, and on "good days" i let myself have pop and chips with my first meal which is usually dinner time. it made a bigger effect on me when my little brothers dad decided to act like a total bitch and not get any proper groceries and just get chicken nuggets, ichiban, cereal, hot dogs, milk, and rice.

so, i forgot to mention, but i was 16 when all of this was overwhelming me and when i nearly took my own life. i didnt tell this story as detailed as i did while in the circle, but as soon as i finished, feeling (while it was very short lived) lighter after i told my reasoning, you know what i heard? on my right, this elder lady: *snickers* "im sorry, i didnt mean to laugh, but i think that was cute. that was all?" i didnt hear the rest because i was ready to cry again. how can you say that? i shut down for the rest of my time there. i dont remember how long that event went, but i knew from there on, not to ever open up here in the village. ever. mind you, there were other servivors who talked about their own stories in their own ways but why was i laughed at? How in the ever loving fuck is what i almost did "cute"? how was my story not made a big deal just like the others? i wish i knew but that fucking hurt like hell.

((((END of TRIGGER WARNING))))

wow. i did not think that this would be a big post (journal entry) but here we are. im not going to lie, im still feeling iffy about posting this. or if i want to delete that whole section and just say " id rather not go into detail about my...." idk what else to call it other than my lowest point. i dont know what else to write about so i am going to get ready for bed and see if i can fall asleep after having a toke. cause right now, it is currently 4:16am and i want to get more than 4 hours of sleep tonight, or at least try to. hopefully i feel better after writing this out and sleeping on this. we shall see tomorrow.

good night.

[lucasseliott]

rules: tag nine people you’d like to get to know better

thanks to @lepetitepeach for tagging me!! 😘

top ten songs/pieces i can’t stop listening to

(as you know i am v into my starred playlist on spotify, which is what i normally listen to on the walk to work, so this is just the ten latest songs i’ve added to that playlist)

Cut My Lip (40.6782°N, 73.9442°W) - Twenty One Pilots

On A Roll - Ashley O

Chlorine (19.4326°N, 99.1332°W) - Twenty One Pilots

Joy - Bastille

Spirit In The Sky - Keiino

Fading - Alle Farben, ILIRA

Breadwinner - Everything Everything

Vossi Bop - Stormzy

Doom Days - Bastille

Satellite - Two Door Cinema Club

favourite ships

so many wtf ermm, so obvi eliott/lucas, matteo/david, isak/even, martino/nico, like the four skam horseman hahah. 

not skam: aaron/robert from emmerdale, even though one of them is leaving at the end of the year and im gonna be depressed af forever, its cool its fine...

ronan/adam from the raven cycle, the ronan trilogy is coming out soon so imma be back on that maggie stiefvater bullshit.

magnus/alec from the shadowhunter chronicles (also from the tv show, but im sorry i prefer the book versions more, dont hate me, theres just more content and literally a shit tonne of books and i just love that whole universe h2g)

logan/veronica from veronica mars, im so excited for the new episodes next week, like you dont understand.

mickey/ian from shameless, okay so the show literally ruined them for me for years, but noel fisher AND cameron monaghan are both back on the show next season which means im also back, oh god help me.

also a non romantic ship but my fave irl friendship is tyler robert joseph and joshua william dun, the iconic duo known as twenty one pilots, no i will never shut up about them in these tagged asked thingys, they are part of my brand/aesthetic, also they are literal friendship goals. 

lipstick/chapstick

i dont wear makeup, like ever, (much too lazy for it tbh) so gotta say chapstick, especially in those winter months...

last movie

yesterday (the name of the film, not when i watched it), the beatles movie, it was p good, few weird plot holes but overall i liked it!

currently reading

lol fanfiction lol, also im currently reading king of scars by leigh bardugo, but havent gotten v far.

i also just went to the book signing for alice osemans web comic/graphic novel heartstopper volume 2, its v popular on tumblr! i guess i can say im currently reading that as well cause she updates it a few times a month.

AND im going to london film and comic con/ young adult literature convention in kensington next weekend, so im probs gonna be buying a shit tonne more books i dont need to add to my reading list, as is always the case...

IMMA TAG: @saphy-supernova, @mickey-milkovich, @starcassstic, @srodvlv, @isakvaltrsen, @cottonskfr, @lifeisevak, @chelou-mecs-in-love, @eliottlallemcnt (ive seen a load of these on my dash, and im shit at remembering who has already done it so sorry if youve been tagged before!)

[endwalkr]

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

[dawnowar]

idgaf about Anne Rice but she was probably the only thing my old friend Jennifer (RIP) ever did that was her own thing. She latched on to me first day of college and I went with it, not knowing it would be a decade or more before I was so done with her that I would refuse to even talk to her again well before her untimely death.

Ive always been great at being authentic and original. In my younger years that brought out imitators and I had a few friends who liked what I liked because I liked it. Some people enjoy having followers but not me. If I'm original and authentic and you are into everything I am, then you are neither.

Jennifer never left me alone, did whatever I did, and if I was having a particularly good time, because she never was, or if guys were trying to meet me, because they never were trying to meet her, she would have some sort of anxiety attack or other emergency that I had to drop everything and tend to immediately. This wore thin pretty quickly and whether or not it was real for her, and to this day I really can't say, she was sabotaging me and my social life constantly for years.

When she became interested in Vampires I encouraged her to go with it, so she could develop a personality and a social life that wasn't dependent on me. I took her to goth clubs which I ended up spending way too much time in, and I humored her by reading a couple of Anne Rice novels. They didnt change my life. But they changed hers.

She would go to some annual Anne Rice convention - event thingy every year in New Orleans and plan her costumes all year and finally she had her own thing and she could leave me be. Only she really didn't. She still got in my way, still tried and failed to live my life instead of her own, and never cheered me on as my involvement with Manowar grew. If I had boyfriends she ignored them. If I had any success or joy in any area, she was there ruin it for me.

Anne Rice was the only thing she ever did that was hers and not mine. So thank you for your service Anne Rice, and to anyone who is reading this, be your own person. Don't follow the crowd. Especially if "the crowd" is just one person who doesn't want you to follow them.

She's not the only bad friend I ever had. I get that people are just figuring themselves out at that age, and I get that those people might have been drawn to me because I already had some stuff figured out, but I never had a more high maintenance friend that gave nothing of value back. I don't have any memories of good times with her and even now, decades after her death, I still only feel annoyed when I think of her.