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strawberryspeachy · 3 years

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S4e10 is the first time i want to actually rewatch an entire episode of handmaids tale.... ok wait second time - was it the new “ofglen” who blew up that important building with all the commanders inside and the handmaids outside - that ending was great

But omg

First off elizabeths moss’s acting!!! Ive gotten too used to that same dreadful look shes been making for the past couple seasons that... the wide range of facial expressions really surprised me and it just!! Wow

the suspence the whole episode. Nothing EVER goes right in this show. I knew what i wanted to see but i fully expected fred and serena to go free and happy. That back and forth feeling was super engaging

I loved that even though there was that tension between june and moira before, moira jumped right back to trying to fight and doing all the screaming and ranting for june - someones gotta do it and june was too mentally exausted

K like im still confused why everyone can go in and out of the waterford prison so easily and was like.... dooooo they want june to kill him?!?!? Why are you leaving her alone???

And i was so excited like yesssss shes gonna kill himmm - well first i thought she was gonna go to serena and kill her baby

But when she was walking around that room... like a cat pretending not to notice the mouse in the room - we just know june too well to think she wasnt at least planningggg something

Also fred is fucking DISGUSTINGGGGG as usual. Lying during his ... conference like WHY are you just gonna beleive this psycho at face value?!

Oh and serena thinking shes got all the power back.

Omg the two of them. I cant

And fred really being such a fucking disgusting person to think ANY part of june enjoyed his torture. She is so strong dude - i could never sit there not knowing if my plan will work and playing nice. I thought she was gonna break that glass and stab him

And like. Ok. Lukes not the worst but also - his whole - just get over it!!! Attitude.... even if she cant get him on the wall why are you reprimanding her and trying to pretend she can just get over that trauma with some food. Absolutr lack of empathy.

But june saying hes gonna be on the wall... i was so giddy!!

And i rewatched that smile she made when larence told her she hanst lost her touch- well she could barely contain her smile throughout that entire negotiation. And i loved watching larence put on a show like ‘ah we rlly miss waterford! My brother!!’

Gah and just. Also... i kinda thought june was gonna kill mark when she was outside his building. Men in this show. She went through 7 years of hell and you told her youd help and fucked her over and then throw an entire dramatic tempertantrum when she calmly sits on a bench near your house.... lol wow..i mean uncomfortable but have some prespective

And i wanna say the like demand straight to - oh im sorry. Didnt mean to he a cunt - i meant please? Act june did, its not overacting but knowing june it is so it was funny af

The suspence watching fred get ready to go.., i was literally chanting for the plane to be to gilead but it was so much better! Watchint him get arrested all shocked. “Im a man! I have rights” all the fucking ew... open the door back up and slap him

I just thought he was gonna get sent back and wed watch the commanders all hang him. But it to be lawrence - again with his ‘oh? Is there anything i can do to stop this? No? Ok bye fred!’

And i mean i knew we were in for a treat with nick taking him but i was NOT EXPECTING JUNE to just POP OUT of the trees!!! Fucking perfect. A literal horror movie just for fred

Also why did he keep calling nick son.... like... no one likes you???? Do you really think you can regain power just saying words like this???

And this is e first time i fucking LOVED seeing june in a red coattt and her faceeee like last episode when she turned from calm to screaming - it wad so good and so intense and such good acting and that heartbeat music got me

But hereeeee i cant even desribe the combination or rage and calmness pouring out. Not to be a weeb but thats the first time i think ive ever seen a live action representation of how i imagine anime cool characters to act

That power play of nick and june making out in front of fred loool - i dont care about the ships but that was perfect

“This is sick” - whats sick is how you never run out of things to do and say that make me feel sick...

I loved how june told him to choose - i feel like jt was a call back to his lawyer saying that she CHOSE to be a handmaid. Like theres not good option here

Does anyone think she actually would have shot him dead IF he did choose the gun - part of me wants an alterantive ending where he chose that just so i could watch june either tell him ‘no thats too easy’ or like shoot him in the foot so he cant even run right before being like

Oops i missed and chasing him down anyway

I hate horror movies but watching them all chase him down UGHHH IVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH GLEEE - k not never but ya know

OMG ALMOST FORGOT that sceneee with june and emily talking at the table about how june wants him to be scared to death. And fucking luke - with his judgements turning and looking. I feelll like.... emily helped june decide to do this. Because after getting to the end of the episode it seemed more like they were planning in plain sight in thay scene

I havent rewarched the show. So maybe im remembering incorrectly but it does feel like this fits because - wasnt emily kind of what inspired june to actively start rebelling when she drove the car around and ran one of the guards over

Anddddd the songggg from the 1st? Or 2nd??? Season. The ending right? I just remember that the last time we heard that song was when june first started a quiet resistance against gilead and all the handmaids were together in it. So it brought back those feelings of like ‘FINALLY its happening!!’ And it fit soooo perfectlyyy

When the girls first ran up to fred i thought they were gonna surround him and reinact that “shame” thing they used to be forced to do. I mean i guess they did without actually saying it cause they definitely killed him the way gilead forced the handmaids to kill people in the first season

And it was wonderful to watch! Thank you handmaids tale for making me feel like a psychotic sadist for enjoying that ENTIRE scene. I was giggling like i was watching a disney movie

Gonna ignore that part where june picks up the baby covered in blood - ew

I wanted to seeeeee serena get the finger - more so - i wanted to watch tha family come in and get her and be like - hey guess what your coming back to gilead!!! And see it end with serena as a fucking handmaid - GIVING BIRTH TO THE BABY BETWEEN (i forget the one who visited hers name) LEGS!

But fuck seeing fred on a wall with the “dont let the bastards grind you down” from the the very beginningggg - it felt sooo goodddd

And i just needed to squeal over this episode some more! I watched it hours ago. But i kinda wanna rewatch it rnn

#the handmaid's tale #elizabeth moss

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enbyboiwonder · 5 years

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Tagged by @frozenmemories1987

So I don’t really understand how this one works, so I’m just gonna answer all the questions and number them consecutively. Upfront I’m gonna say that I’m not tagging anyone, but as always, if you wish to do it, consider yourself tagged. Also, this is going under a read more. Save the thumbs of any mobile users

01. What was the last movie you watched in theaters?

It’s been months, so I can’t remember, sorry

02. What’s your favorite game to play?

Currently it’s Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2. I hadn’t played it since I got it (and beat it all in one go), and I forgot just how much I love this game. It’s like Pokémon meets Dragon Quest, and it’s amazing. On the one hand, making a team entirely of dragons might be a bad idea, but on the other hand, I freaking love dragons. I should probably synth one with a healing skillset if I’m gonna do that - possibly Cure-all since that’s got Multiheal. My current party is a Lv 20 great argon lizard named Rory, a Lv 24 slime stack with Cure-all named Sticker, and a Lv 19 aquestrian gladiator with Huntsman named Mizuno. When I leave them to their own devices, Mizuno really loves using Penny Pincher, which tbh I cannot fault him for - normal damage plus the chance to pinch a few gold coins? Heck yes. At least he’s got 44 MP, so I haven’t had to change his tactics to “Don’t Use Magic” yet (the skill costs 2 MP)

03. Chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate

04. What’s the last show you binge-watched?

NUMB3RS (though I’m still working on that one)

05. Do you have any pets?

06. What’s your favorite fairy tale?

I dunno. I don’t actually read very many fairy tales

07. Who’s your favorite superhero?

Superhero stuff doesn’t normally appeal to me, but I do like Cisco Ramon/Vibe and Ray Palmer/The Atom from CW’s Arrowverse

08. Who’s your favorite Disney princess?

Erm, Rapunzel, I guess?

09. Where’s the first place you’re going to go after social distancing is over?

I know I’m gonna hang out with my friend like we were planning to before this started, but as for where... probably Barnes & Noble since that’s where we usually go, but who knows (I say, knowing full well that neither of us know where to go, and we go to HPB when we’re specifically looking for a book but default to B&N bc of the café and seating area)

10. Cookies or cake?

11. What show could you watch over and over?

Monk, CSI, and Psych, to name a few

12. Favorite song lyric?

See, I have to believe that there’s more than this seems More than a soul in a boat in a sea of sinking dreams And I have to be sure that there’s gonna be a cure ‘Cause, somewhere down the line, I lost that part of me that’s pure

- Where We Belong by Thriving Ivory

13. Favorite season of your favorite TV show?

S14 of CSI, probably

14. What never fails to make you smile/happy?

Seeing I’ve got a comment on AO3

15. How are you doing with all that’s going on in the world (coronavirus, having to do social distancing, etc.)?

My lifestyle hasn’t changed at all, though for some reason I’ve actually been getting way more crocheting and video-gaming done than usual (at the expense, of course, of less reading and writing and TV-watching. Unfortunately). But we have lost business at the doughnut shop so I haven’t been working as many days - usually I work Monday and Friday - which, on the one hand, less money, but on the other hand, I’ve gotten more rest so my bruised ribs (from coughing; I had strep about a month and a half ago, and that always leaves me with a cough for a while, though it’s never been this bad before) are mostly healed now

16. We all love new music to listen to. Name an artist that is underrated/you think people should check out:

Thriving Ivory/Midnight Cinema (same band, different songwriters; Thriving Ivory is more piano-driven and leans more toward alt/alt-rock, while Midnight Cinema is more pop)

17. TV shows or movies?

TV shows

18. Favorite holiday?

Halloween

19. A song that describes you:

I’ve always related to Some Kind of Home by Thriving Ivory

20. Describe your tumblr in three words:

“hella queer animal-lover” idk

21. What’s your favorite hobby?

It depends on my mood, but rn it’s crocheting!

22. What’s your favorite book and/or a really good book you’ve read recently?

CSI: Miami: Cut and Run by Donn Cortez is amazing. I read it back in January and then reread it this month. Probably will be rereading it again before long tbh

Another really good one I’ve read recently is How Rory Thorne Destroyed the Multiverse by K. Eason. It just came out like six months ago, so the second one won’t be out any time soon, but I am ready for it when it does (more than ready, actually; I can’t wait)

23. What’s your favorite ship that will never happen (or hasn’t happened yet)?

I really wish they had done something with Greg/Hodges. I mean, they had the perfect setup for it in 11.07 Bump and Grind, what with their “man-dates” (that never get mentioned again)!! Their man-dates become a regular thing that they do like every week or whatever, eventually they realize that they’re actual dates and have been for a while and they start consciously dating. Maybe Greg already knows he’s bi and is totally cool with it, maybe David’s been repressed and realizes that, oh, that’s why something’s always seemed like it was missing when he tried dating before: he’s gay.

Unsurprisingly, I have a few 11.07 fics in my WIPs

(But also, considering CSI’s track record with respecting queer people [poor], I’m kinda glad they didn’t. Woulda been nice, though, long as they'da done it right)

A ship that I’m really hoping will happen is Penelope and Schneider from One Day at a Time. I love them so much

24. If you could spend the day with any living celebrity, who would it be?

I would rather meet a celebrity in passing than spend a day with them. I am far too awkward and anxious, and I’m afraid it would not be an enjoyable experience for either of us

25. The best worst movie you’ve ever seen - a movie that you know objectively is trash but you can’t help but really enjoy it:

I don’t think I have any like this

26. When you read, do you prefer an eReader or an actual, physical book?

Paper books all the way, baby

27. Favorite movie?

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, probably

28. What does a normal day look like for you?

I stay in bed reading or playing games on my phone (or, more recently, on my DS) for as long as possible, dick around on here for a while whilst also trying to get at least some SwagBucks in another window, try not to forget to eat lunch, play the free money apps I have on my phone while either listening to music on my laptop or watching shows either on my laptop or the TV, try not to forget to eat dinner, watch some more TV or get some reading or gaming in, try not to stay up too late, take over an hour to fall asleep, maybe if I’m lucky get some writing done at some point during any of this (and if I’m really lucky it won’t be while I’m trying to sleep, but usually it is, damn brain)

29. Have you ever watched a show/movie for one character? If so, who?

Normally when I watch something specifically for someone, it’s for an actor I like, but I started watching CW’s The Flash specifically for Cisco Ramon (well, and Harry Wells and their relationship, but mostly Cisco) and Legends of Tomorrow specifically for Ray Palmer, whom I fell in love with in his ep on The Flash lol

30. What is your ultimate concert (musicians/bands from any period, alive or dead)?

I don’t go to concerts (they seem like they’d be very overwhelming), so, none, I guess

31. Book that you were forced to read in school that you hated the most:

God, I fucking hated To Kill a Mockingbird. Actually, I think the only one I actually liked was The Importance of Being Earnest

#mine #thx for tagging me!

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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hi hellou. wanted to ask is the titans show worth watching? ive tried watching countless dc series and i end up dead bc of the cringe

LOL the funny thing is I haven’t even really watched most of it myself yet? I have trouble streaming stuff and so all I’ve actually watched are like the first three episodes of the first season and bits and pieces of the rest. The vast majority of my knowledge just comes from gifsets, summaries and demanding my friends who do watch it tell me everything. So I’m far from the best source for this, but I mean, at the very least I would place it leaps and bounds above most other live action DC series, which...I mean...I haven’t watched Doom Patrol or Swamp Thing yet either, but of the rest, the only one I’ve still kept up with is Black Lightning, the rest of them lost me back in the second season of each of their respective shows (lol I can say I gave them a shot, but that was all they got).

So I mean, the bar is super duper low, no doubt about that, haha, but Anna Diop’s take on Kory alone is worth the price of admission as far as I’m concerned. Even in just the episodes I saw, she singlehandedly brought my love for Kory back from the war. Where it has languished for many many years due to the only real Kory content in the past decade and a half being based on either the Teen Titans cartoon (which...I was not really the target demographic for even fifteen years ago, lol, and I feel my feelings on passionate characters being reduced to an emotional range of ‘happy to ecstatically happy’ is well established by now), or based on Red Hood and the Outlaws. Which, I mean, I also have strong feelings about referring to what Lobdell does as writing when there are so many other words that work better, like ‘mistake’ and ‘waste of time’ and ‘who’s ready to jumpstart the apocalypse with me just to make it stop.’

Like....so I’ve been a pretty big Dick/Kory shipper since I was reading comics as a kid, but it got so bad there for awhile I think I pretty much FORGOT about how much I used to ship them super hard, until I saw Anna Diop’s Starfire and I went THERE SHE IS. And I have fairly strong impressions of several other characters too, like every gifset of Donna has me doing high kicks of joy, because I have similarly been bored to death of the Team Mom Donna take that’s pretty much all anyone’s written her as for like twenty years, when the Donna I know and love is a snarky, irreverent asshole every bit as bad an influence on Roy and Dick as they were on her. Like, you don’t date Roy and be BFFs with Dick if you can’t dish it out as much as they can. But comics, and a lot of fans, like just...forgot that whole side of her existed, practically from the moment she married Whats His Face.

Also I think I potentially care about Hawk for the first time in history, and its kinda freaking me out a little, and even though I’m always gonna be like ‘ugh they’re not cast right’ about Dick and Jason, the interactions I’ve seen are the sibling dynamic I’ve been wanting to see content about for a good twenty years, lmao. The Jason actor definitely embodies Jason’s energy as far as I’m concerned.

They’ve also managed to make me think positive thoughts about Bruce’s ability to interact with his sons like a decent human being for maybe the first time in a decade, so there’s that too!

Anyway, I’m working with like....very limited knowledge lol, but personally I think its worth a shot. If you don’t like it, you’re not really any worse off than having sat through other DC shows, just add a little more to the cringe account, but on the flip side, it could actually make up for some of that and surprise you. *Shrugs*

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hanasaku-shijin · 6 years

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Been a minute since i did one of these, rwby liveblog:

all right let’s hear that new opening

oh okay jk maybe next week

yooo the fucking, what are they - manticore?? hell yeah give em to me

WEISS MY LOVE

just fucking skates along the train im glad they FINALLY did that in canon do u know how many fics have written weiss ice skating anywehre/anytime just cuz she fukcing can

i appreciate how they went in RWBY order for that

but like.... it’s great that blake and yang are chill now buuuttt uummmm did they have a proper talk about shit?? cuz they need to

RenoraaaaaaaAAAHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

thank GOD we finally have an official canon white rose moment that isn’t just a joke or casual scene FINALLY A FIGHT-SCENE MOMENT THAT IS EXCLUSIVE TO THEMMMM havent seen that since vol1 ep8

okay i can stop now that’s good enough for me lmao

their lil pink rose petals aaaaaaahhh im cryinn

oh so Adam just went on a tantrum murder rage. sick.

lol Adam taking “man pain” to a whole new level jeeeeez like congrats u remembered Blake’s name u get a gold star

lol weiss saying gifts are a waste of time but i BET U ruby got her something and she’s gonna love it

RUBY SHOULDVE GOTTEN HER THE SCARF RT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIIINNNGG

at least explain where weiss got it pls

i s2g if we get a beach episode

“team rwby wont leave your side for a second. i promise.”

welp time to break that promise probably

oh great. more boys.

are they. are they based off twiddle dee and twiddle dum cuz that’s what it sounds like lmao

okay ive been asking this question for 2 volumes already WHERE’S BLAKE SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE BACK NOW

“waiting on Blake, as usual.” Weiss has gone on many dates with her she knows she can take some Time getting ready lol

oH SHIT i legit forgot about Ilia oops BUT HER CASUAL CLOTHES THO

oh is sun still here too then

HUG

THANK YOU

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oh whY IS NEPTUNE HERE TOO

ohhH OHH OMG WAIT

OH MY GOD IS HE GONNA HIT ON THE LESBIAN

OH MY GOD PLS RT DONT FUCK THIS UP

this could be good oh pls

LMAO OH MY GOD BLAKE AND SUN ARE LIKE ‘UH WIAT-’ BUT IT’S TOO LATE

oh good that was good yes YES

Sun saying he and the boys were cool on a little hiatus when they’re based off a fucking boy band is HILARIOUS

god SSSN get back to the stage go make more songs u slackers

ohhhh

we’re going there aren’t weeeee

sigh but y’know what, im whatever it’s fine Black Sun is good Sun is good

the whole reason i never really liked Black Sun so much was not cuz it’s het but because like??? I’m so tired of the Faunus falling for Faunus and humans falling for humans sort of trope y’know?? I hate thinking they’re together just cuz they’re both Faunus but it’s whateverrr i guess

we just have uhhh no official inter-racial(?) couples in this show y’know what i mean

If I have to accept any het couple Black Sun is probably the best tbh because y’know why?? they are friends first. they have a history together, and it’s a good one. so fine. I’m glad it isn’t gonna be a main focus tho (seemingly)

OKAY ANYWAYS

i appreciate the rwby bunkbed arrangements again on the train ahah GOOD TIMES

oooh? what’s this?? the second Yang speaks Blake perks up??? i like where this is going pls have a Talk together now

ohhh.. Guilt. Wonderful.

ffUCK

Blake stopppp

okay but when weiss and ruby shared a glance tho

“just my luck” “it’s not yours” oh right Qrow is Unluckiest Uncle of the Year

dont worry blake. black cats arent unlucky in this show

Oh? some of the manticore have manes but the one doesnt?? is the female like the head honcho?

i am sooooooooooo loving weiss’ leggings GOD it looks SO GOOOOOD

“dont let anyone else die” WOW RIGHT AFTER THEY WATCHED THE DUDE GET CHUCKED OFF SHE JUST ASSUMES HE IS DEAD ALREADY OOPS

coulda said that FIRST RUBY LOL

okay i know i have a new fav Grimm every season but daammmn these guys knock the Griffons off the top spot

Ruby’s making an awful lot of promises today hmmmmm im sensing a theme how long’s it gonna take before she cant fulfill one

yes GOOD i like the Jaune/Ren tagteam a lotttt

LMAO WEISS JUST FUCKING PASSES THE GRMM tO RUBY LIKE THEY’RE PLAYING BALL nbd

oH SHIT WHAT IT HAS A CHIMERA TAIL TOO?? i didnt notice that before thats fuckin SICK

vol1 - weiss burns down a forest

vol6 - weiss derails a train

oh hi little old Katara how u doin

OH THE NEW OPENINGGGGG

the renora

WAIT WHAT WHAT THE FUCK IS THE

WEISS GIGGLING AND RUNNING AWAY AND RUBY PLAYING TAG LIKE SOME CHEESY COUPLE RUNNING ON THE BEACH WHAT IS THIS?? IM LAUGHING

OH MY GOD ROMAN’S HAT?? IS NEO GONNA COME BACK PLS???

i s2g if it’s Cinder laksjdhfksldf

if that last shot of Weiss supporting Ruby is just more BAIT IM GONNA RIOT

THEY’D BETTER MAKE GOOD ON THAT OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

LET VOL6 BE RUBY/WEISS VOLUME PLEASE GOD

we’re off to a good start so pls.... pls let’s keep it up

i’d forgotten how good RWBY could be if the girls were together lol

good to be back for once

#rwby liveblog #rwby6 #it took me like an hour to watch this cuz i kept liveblogging to scream

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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years

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Med Rewatch Series (#2)

\haha yeah I was totally planning on sleeping but I literally cannot think about anything else other than getting this idea out of my brain. so, we will try to get through the finale of s2: Love Hurts. please enjoy.

-okay so right off the bat before even starting the episode, i noted a few things. the episode description is “Robin experiences complications and a new face arrives at the hospital.” How fucking annoying that it’s the season finale and the entire episode is centered around connor? of course, at this point we don’t know that the ‘new face’ is his future love interest.

-also!!! the fact that ava is mentioned in the episode description of the season finale? That’s huge!

-the episode description makes it sound like nothing fucking happens in this episode.

-also i am extremely scared to start the ep bc i feel like it is going to through me straight back into the deep end and put me in a state of emotional shock.

-i will try to take very deep breaths before the episode starts. okay. here we go.

-does this episode open with robin being carted in on the ambo bc if this is the ep im thinking about, i remember appreciating how angsty this scene was

-i still remember charles yelling ‘2 of adavan!’

-okay hi sarah i really was not expecting to see you this soon

-oh wow. just. sarah calling shots in the ed. in control. you love to see it. also. im just now remembering how early in the ep we get to meet ava. i always remembered it as being at the very end but. i remember connor being distraught with his messy hair.

-also i’m highkey loving how out-of-control connor is rn

-reese. god i missed you so much.

-they counted again. love that.

-okay but like i have no analysis just every time sarah’s onscreen i just want to say ‘i love you’

- i have not heard sarah speak in a HOT SEC and god i forgot how deep her voice was and it is sending me (its not even that deep i just like, forgot.) It has been years and I honestly think i have forgotten who sarah really was. sad.

-like i don’t remember the last time i could describe her as in control but right now treating robin she’s calm (honestly bc she’s the only other shrink on the show, but HOLD ON WAIT DOESNT CHARLES GET SHOT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. reese has one moment. and then her and charles start bickering. i remember why i was so mad)

-i’m in love with her.

-i really have to sit through the next 40 mins of this and just everytime i see sarah going ‘i love her,’ and now you do too.

-oh my god CHARLES SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CANNOT BLAME CONNOR FOR THIS

-also the reason i became disillusioned: dr charles just started being suuuuuper sus.

-i do love sarah. and honestly, connor, not my favorite, but this storyline really made me empathize with him. his girlfriend is having a psychotic break and people keep shitting on him. (maybe the reason i didn’t like ava at first. really kicked him while he was down)

-I... haha. sarah. hnghhh. you can guess the rest.

-if you were in this situation, with robin, would you be thinking like connor or would you be thinking like charles? personally- connor. Robin was fine. maybe a little impulsive to take her home, but charles was being suuuper overprotective (from what I remember).

-Charles: “This is on you. You did this.” I remember that line hitting really hard when I watched it the first time lmao damn.

-SARAH. HER EYES ARE RED. SHE’S SAD. SHE’S CRYING! COME ONNNN MEDDD YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!!! (and I swallowed my water the wrong way which somehow triggered my gag reflex so now im crying too please god stop Im sorry what did I do)

-yay sarah. hey guys look at that. sarah gets to, like, do her job.

-ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT S3 STILL SUCKS FOR SARAH BC OF HER INTENSE INTENSE PTSD??? LIKE SHE WHOLE ASS PEPPERSPRAYS HER PATIENT???

-also these are the clothes charles got shot in and honestly i’m not even mad. I’m mad that him getting shot put sarah through so much pain (i talked a lot about ava but y’all are really gonna see just how protective i am of sarah. like god even I forgot.)

-you can see how much sarah cares about connor. which is like, fantastically crazy. (it fuels the rheese shippers which is why i tend to be against it) but just like, that’s just how sarah is. she cares so much. she’s not even close to connor, but you can see how much she cares. this is why its so unfair for sarah to work in psych. like, she’s way too soft for that come on man. (y’all remember the huge car crash episode and at the end she tells ethan that it was nice to be back in the ed bc you can fix people’s bodies but not their minds? 1) she was adorable in that. 2) i am so scared for her. she just cares too much)

-okay but the above bullet is probably the exact reason why people ended up shipping ava and sarah. they both are characters who care way more than they let on. sarah is the only one in the hospital who would probably give ava a second chance after an icy first encounter. That being said, being realistic? ava is probably the only one who would she the bullshit that sarah has to go through everyday, so she would never have the icy first encounter. which in turn sets sarah’s empathy bells off or whatever.

-honestly? ava is a mean to people because she thinks they deserve it. that’s it. she’s not a bitch or anything like that (and yeah, ava stans do a little bit of overlooking her behavior bc hey if a careless med student bumps into her while passing by, thats on them). (and of course, in this world and in reesker minds, sarah has never done anything wrong, ever.)

-look guys, i did it. i boiled reesker down to its bare essentials! (lmao tho literally walking through it again from almost a totally fresh perspective, it is still so easy to see how they would have been great together.)

-also. uh. not to pile on the reesker but. ----- connor just got paged by latham. is-is it happening?

-refusing to go home and sleep because the person you care most about is lying in a hospital bed is such classic angst oh my god

-wtf? charles has meds i completely forgot? for his heart? when is he gonna get shot the suspense is killing me.

-ALSO. YOU ARE TELLING ME. THAT S3 SARAH HAD TO DEAL WITH PTSD AND A POSSIBLE PATIENT LAWSUIT. AT THE SAME TIME HER FATHER WAS BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDER, AT THE SAME TIME HE TRIED TO RECONNECT. it is a fucking crime that that is the season we have to rewatch. its a crime they abused her so much.

-waiting for charles to keel over and die like

-the worst thing is that like, he actually cares. he actually truly cares about sarah, he just did a lot of bad things. so sarah has to justify them all! and sarah had no idea how to feel because now she’s disillusioned again. please chill

-lmao stoll wow

-oh. soft sweet boy noah. he really doesn’t know better, and that’s almost the worst thing.

-also. dr. shore. that’s really all i have to say about that.

-ohhhhh my god nat fucking chill

-what is it with couples on mad and not being allowed to be happy. (this could be about reesker if you, like, reallyyyy squint)

-aw! hey, look! it’s jay! he’s nice to look at too. ooh i also forgot how deep his voice was lol

-counting

- i honestly forgot what a good source of angst this show was. this guys parents are flying in from germany to go to his graduation and then he got hit by a car??? damn

- i still forget how much i like the cop/doctor brother duo. I love it.

-GUYSSS

-GUYSSS ITS HAPPENING

-the air literally left my lungs I am not ready.

-ITS FUCKING

-oh my god

-it is 3 am and I just screamed out loud holy shit

-I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT. IT DOESNT HAPPEN WITH HER IN CASUAL CLOTHES. THAT IS AT THE END. I FORGOT THEY INTERACT WITH HER IN SCRUBS

- I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT

--holy shit she is fucking stunning. she was just allowed to be like that? in her first introduction? while connor looks like complete shit? IMAGINE THE POWER SHE HAS HOLY SHIT. THIS IS THE GREATEST POWER MOVE IVE EVER SEEN.

-uh for those of you who are confused, ava bekker has entered the scene and holy. shit. is she fucking amazing. and she hasn’t even said a word yet. all she did was turn

-H E R P O W E R

-uhhuufhuahdoas back to the analysis - latham reiterated all of the points we just discussed in the premiere, only goes to show how this was planned, from the start.

- t h e p o w e r ava has to step on the scene and instantly fuck things up. I ASPIRE

-okay let me try again to move forward. (nope. i tried to go back to the tab and just. the expression on her face. guys. i cannot express the emotions. we will press on)

-deep breaths

-she’s so pretty oh my god

-I-uh- okay listen. it is really, really, really hard to analyze this because i have not watched an actual scene or actually heard her talk in her very very pretty accent in two years. I, uh, i need a minute.

-i honestly cannot recall a thing she just said. (i am literally in fucking love) (i’m gonna go back and rewatch the scene and see what I pick up)

-THE----the fucking way she puts her hand back in her pocket

-GOD IM FUCKING GAY

-as for analysis - god that cheeky little smile.

-she’s blunt. is what took me about 75 words to say. this is gonna be a nightmare. (if i torture myself and make myself watch s4 and s5 then I’ll be really sad) (at this point can you imagine what would’ve happened if i had watched her death? I’m remembering exactly how crushed I was)

-OH. YEAH. IN CASE YOU FORGOT? THAT GIRL? THE SNARKY ONE? ON SCREEN RIGHT NOW? SHE’S. FUCKING. DEAD. CANONICALLY SHES DEAD. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

-like just that fact is sending me so hard. i am already so sad. I had like thirty seconds of elation. it’s not FUCKING FAIR

- i need another minute. AND SHE STILL HAS ANOTHER LINE.

-this doesn’t really pertain to the theory but the “loyal, that’s sweet” line has got to mean something. Like something to be said about how connor couldn’t commit to her in s4. (its just so fucking unfair that she’s dead but we really need to move on)

-this also means that ava isn’t entirely loyal? bc she’s looking down on connor for being loyal? I um really don’t have all the info to unpack All of that, but it should be noted.

-DID YOU CONNOR? DID YOU ENJOY WORKING TOGETHER???

-from ava stan perspective: @ connor you like made her life hell, which wasn’t your fault but still. uhh she’s the one that’s dead, you’re not, so obviously one of you enjoyed it a little more. let’s move on.

-i love her.

-haha oh man jack kelloggs back. FUCKING MERC HIS ASS (i don’t hate charles that much and this storyline gave me so much fucking anxiety throughout the ep)

-god jack kelloggs such an asshole

-OKAY BRUH ETHAN AND APRIL HAVE A THING THIS SEASON? jesus this show really moves

-there are a lot of things I could complain about.

-will: “Why’d she do that? Cut her hair. A woman makes a change like that, it’s a big deal.” S4 AVA WHAT DOES IT MEAN

-i can’t believe its the season finale and they have enough time for will to ask maggie why nat cut her hair. this show is the reason I have anxiety. charles is about to get shot and what are you doing

-oh. oh wow. noah and sarah bickering/noah flirting. it’s like, adorable. which i don’t think is really fair. just, sarah’s the best

-I- uh- can’t believe that was the first time I watched an ava scene in years? that was a really big step for me?? god wow.

-god remember how sarah just like, saved robin? yall remember that? REMEMBER WHEN SARAH COULD DO THINGS? there’s a reason i hated this show.

-okay but just like the fact that charles was - content with letting his daughter be holed up in a room for the foreseeable future? when sarah had a perfectly logical answer? who is he trying to undermine here? (and that is why i hate charles)

-sharon: “where’s the daniel who doesn’t give up? doesn’t your own daughter deserve that much?” kind of a reach but if charles really cares about sarah as much as he does, and sharon knows this, the double meaning here is almost impeccable.

-oh hey guys! ava’s back!

-okay this is like super nitpicky but at this point it feels like norma didn’t have the accent down packed and its a little exaggerated and awkward at times but, come on, still love her.

-Ava: “excuse me, you’re an emergency medicine resident, why are we even talking” AVA BEKKER REALLY TAKES NO SURVIVORS (the writers just really weren’t banking on the fans being that attracted to ava) (like i forgot how blunt she was and holy shit. wow. i kinda see where the haters were coming from. its amazing to see how we clawed her back tho [by we i mean the lesbians])

-analytical. That’s what ava is. It’s almost like that thing where people purposefully say something outlandish just to gauge people’s reaction. she doesn’t argue with connor, at least not now. she just looks between him and ethan, sees she’s outnumbered, and walks off. She doesn’t know how the place works yet. she’s testing the waters. - this could be why she slowly gets more and more confrontational as the series progresses. she sees that no matter what, everyone will be on connor’s side. she doesn’t fight a losing battle. but when you’re constantly losing, its frustration. (reminder, these things only hold true in s3. s4 doesn’t exist)

-I’m fucking?? where the hell did jeff go?

-also, oh, this is maggie’s storyline. the guy dies right but he wanted to propose to the girl? wait no that doesn’t seem right...

-yooo its the girl in the gorilla costume. certified iconic. also how the hell did they have enough time for all this crap in the finale. this show fucking moves.

-for like a split second i forgot that noah and april were siblings

-noah’s a sweetie

-oh hey look it’s ava

-knock knock. who’s there? oh boy, point one for ava stans, she’s right about the surgery (potential evidence showing how this is the first scene of connor not being shit/actually being out or equally matched)

-OKAY WOW SARAH GO OFF (she’’s just fantastic i mean look at her. she’s adorable)

-ava: “Why do all the residents in this hospital think they can offer their opinions?” DR BEKKER PLEASE (okay but like i said last ep i had the exact same question. go off ava)

-connor just took control of the case (first instance of ava outright saying ‘i disagree’) (and let me guess, he’s gonna be right in the end because he literally fucking always is)

-if you look at it from a different perspective, ava was necessary. they needed someone to put connor in his place. at least, she tried. (very disappointing that she also had to sleep with him but that’s not the current point) if they wanted to fix his problem of coming off as spoiled, ava gave him a force to fight against, to earn his stars. they could’ve done it better, and actually had him lose a few times. because what does constantly letting connor win do? it undermines ava, it also undermines his attending. his attending who he is constantly having to stick up for. dude. hero complex chill. ava never had a hero complex. which cannot be said for a lot of the people on the show (IF YOU EVEN TRY TO ARGUE THIS POINT IS WRONG I POINT YOU TO THE EPISODE WHERE AVA PUSHED THE CREDIT FOR THE SURGERY ONTO CONNOR WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER WAS HUGGING HER) they did it wrong. they tried to, idk, fix connor by giving him humility, but they kind of completely forgot the humility part. and the part where he learns things. HE EVEN HAS TO STAND UP FOR AVA TO HER OWN MENTOR. LITERALLY? DUDE? FUCKING. CHILL.

-okay but that’s what it is though. ava was always meant to be the villain. because she was always a counter for connor. and connor is the hero. (you may be thinking this goes against my theory because I’m fighting for ava rights, but my actual theory is that ava was never supposed to stay past s3. the only reason she stayed was because she became a fan favorite. she was supposed to take connor’s mayo clinic offer. and you know how it probably would have happened? Connor probably would have gave her the offer. letting him be the hero one last time. [of course, this isn’t what happened. we all know.])

-OKAY FUCK THIS RESIDENT? “good call, Dr. Rhodes” SHUT THE FUCK UP??? (resident speaking rights revoked)

-I have nothing for this but just want to point out how she looks around and says “yes” all contemplative. god if i could just think about what she was thinking

-jack bro stop

-okay. was there ever an active shooter in the hospital when ava was around. bc if there was. i legally need to know

-lmao stoll

-sarah... makes me smile.

-fun fact: we are at about the half way mark. I am so sorry.

-no no no nono. so, robin just got diagnosed and is getting prepped for surgery. Sarah. don’t give charles credit for solving it. stop.

-Hey! yall remember how the best characters on the show only got thirty seconds of onscreen time together? yeah! I’m still mad about it too!

-aww connor being worried. (i think im fine with connor as long as like, ava is no where near. this scene is just very pure)

-when is this guy gonna get shot already

-aww he loves her. i want to kill him. (why? playboy. gets feelings way too quick. stop him. keep him away from ava)

-HAHAHAH okay. robin just got put into surgery and latham and ava are performing it (is it a brain surgery? yes. are they ct surgeons? yes. don’t ask questions) BUT you can see this emotion on ava’s face. she feels sorry for him. it’s up for us to decide if its condescending or she just feels bad for or bc she is on a surgery he wanted, but for the sake of opinion, i’m inclined to say she just felt bad for him (cough empathy cough)

-literally everytime charles is on screen im like when is he gonna get shot

-this scene where both connor and charles admit they were wrong is very nice (hey actually look, connor does have humility! not in front of ava tho so hmm) (sexual tens- literally no, shut the fuck up)

-HAHA HOLY SHIT I FORGOT CONNORS MOM KILLED HERSELF?? HOLY SHIT? THIS FUCKING GUY LITERALLY CANT CATCH A BREAK (maybe take a hint bro? and go far far away? well he did. too little too late ig)

-connor: “i obviously couldn’t save my mom, but I sure as hell didn’t try to save robin” *through cupped hands* HEY! HEY CONNOR! D-DID YOU TRY? WITH AVA? DID YOU TRY? okay literally what is it with this guy and people dying. for such a good surgeon... oh yeah, irony.

-hi sarah! how nice of you to check in with connor and charles about robin!

-sarah: *looks between charles and connor, who have probably agreed on something for the first time since connor got with robin* “everything okay?” literally she’s so sweet my heart.

- sarah: *laughs in disbelief* SARAH STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY FULL

-this man needs to button the top button of his shirt, i do not like that i can see it

-I------ HOLY SHIT?

-WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING WARN ME THAT JOEY WAS STILL ON THE SHOW???

-FUCKING EXCUSE ME???

- the air left lungs on that one again, i was Not expecting that.

-HOLD THE FUCK ON. I JUST WENT OF HIS WIKI AND HE APPEARS IN S4??? FUCKING WHAT??? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID AND IF IT WAS IMPORTANT

-sarah reese is such a fucking dork she got her boyfriend a rubik’s cube as a gift?? a guy who is so nerdy that he definetly already has like five of them. hmm. things don’t add up. also he’s nerdy enough to give back a gift at the breakup. dude seriously. get some social cues. in like the bargin bin at goodwill. please.

-IF SARAH FUCKING CRIES I SWEAR TO GOD

-oh yeah she’s pregnant. that’s how the story ends.

-okay. natalie comes off as empathetic but like, in the most condescending way.

-like its fucking obvious she’s only ever caring about herself (ava bekker would never. sarah reese would never. get your head out of your ass) (ok wow that aggression came from nowhere lmao)

- i really wanna say something about - Connor: “We all know that love can hurt, but loneliness? that’ll kill you.” have fun with that fic writers. (insert obvious connection to loneliness killing ava? have we had enough? this doesn’t pertain to the theory)

-jesus will at this point stop hesitating at the ‘if we’re wrong, it could kill him’ stage. we all know you don’t care

-how funny would it be if the family just like, disowned that girl

-this will nat and co. love triangle is already so fucking exhausting

-JAY REALLY SAID WILL I AM TAKING NONE OF YOUR BS

-is he really about to break up with her. right now. i swear to fucking god

-this is so fucking stupid (what i would pay for ava to hand him his ass right here right now) (that’s a hc idea right there)

-FUCKING LEAVE ALREADY WILLIAM

-sarah and noah stay adorable

-aww stolllll, my heart

-lmao i forgot the girl who played robin was on once upon a time and i was like ‘ive seen her recently what was it’

-FINALLY HES GONNA FUCKING GET SHOT! HELL YES!

-charles looks high as balls

-the queen returns. she’s back

-IM GONNA FUCKING JUMP OFF A CLIFF

-okay. from the previous ep i mentioned ava’s line being something like ‘you’re quite the gossip magnet, your mother commited suicide, drove your girlfriend crazy, and you murdered your attending.” right? we all remember that?

-well lads, do we remember connor’s response?

-connor: “...Well you’d better watch yourself, hadn’t you?”

-...

- I-

-hahahah this is not okay.

-AND GOD. JUST THE WAY AVA TAKES IT AND JUST SMILES, ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE. holy shit. this fucking breaks my heart.

-i like almost can’t even appreciate the easy ending of noah’s grad party.

-oh yeah charles still hasn’t gotten shot.

-god sarah is still adorable. the way she finally relaxes FOR ONCE and lets herself have fun. fun fact: this may be the last time we see sarah just easily enjoying herself. also maybe the first.

- i am officially starting the save ava campaign, anyone who wants to join can. the goal is pretty simple. save ava. save our hearts.

-oh my god is he finally going to get shot?? like what dude come on

Okay. another episode down, the first full one, and what have we learned?

Well, this was Ava’s first episode and we learned how it seems she was doomed from the start. It makes no sense, even just her writing is disconnected from s2 to s3, like how do they do that? This ava lines up so well with s4 ava it’s almost uncanny. if you completely cut out s3 her character arc would make complete sense, in a frighteningly tidy way.

Like I said at the top, the fact that Ava was referenced in the episode description of the season finale is huge. It means she is a big character, ground shaking, almost. I really don’t know why they had to make this introduction at the end of s2 and not the beginning of s3, other than making it fit with the three month time jump that i’m pretty sure starts the season.

The way I see it, Ava had 4 main interactions/points. 1) She called connor loyal (and was blunt about Latham) 2) She remarks that residents shouldn’t have speaking rights (that one’s just funny) and disagrees with connor on the surgery, which they go with connor’s decision because of course they do. granted they switch to her plan midway through) 3) connor takes over her surgery after they disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved. Connor is right. and 4) we have the final ‘I like dangerous men’ interaction.

Let’s focus on the train of Ava vs. Connor disagreements. If we go by my previous statement which was Ava was designed as the villain to Connor’s hero, so the hero could win the favor of the public by defeating the villain, the trajectory of their interactions is not surprising in the slightest.

First, Connor wins the first point bc they initial go with his plan. Then, mid surgery, they have to switch to Ava’s plan, because she was right. This obviously pisses him off, that he was wrong and she was right. His crown had been knocked askew. But then, he wrestles it back. They disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved, connor takes complete control, and he actually ends up saving him.

It’s interesting that the final disagreement came at the sake of a patient’s life. Ava was quick to dismiss the heart as gone, but Connor fought for it, being the hero. It’s easy to shut Ava down right then and there, call her heartless and call it a day.

if s4 had come immedietely (i have no clue how to spell that) after, it would be completely in character for ava to be a psychopath from what little we’ve seen. And honestly, no one would care. The villain would get her due justice.

Let’s switch gears to the conspiracy theory, or the redemption arc. whichever sounds cooler.

A hero is only as good as their villain. That’s really my argument. At this point, yeah, s4 seems like it was planned, just based on s2.

Okay, so, what? Is that another layer of the theory that I’m adding? that the connor/ava plot of s4 was ACTUALLY supposed to be in s3? I... no. we’ve established that is is very rare for the med writers to plan storylines that far ahead. so what am I saying?

I think that the s4 plot was actually a scrapped plot potentially to be used in s3. and when they were left floundering at the end of s3 for an answer? they retreated. sacrificing character development in the process.

So what the hell happened in s3? A horrible fluke? why was it so different?

in s3 ava became more of a rival and less of a villain. while those words can have very similar meanings, the bulk of it is that neither of them really wanted to be that mean each other, they never went out of their way to stomp on the other (at least that I’m aware of). they just were always forced to work together, naturally leading to friction.

This shift meant all the difference. Connor no longer had to beat Ava. it wasn’t required. as a result, ava was very very slowly allowed to interact with people other than connor. she was allowed to slightly develop.

Why the shift? well, the conspiracy theory suggests it’s because they wanted someone who could follow up connor if he left at the end. IF they were true rivals, each of them should be able to hold their own without each other.

okay yeah, i managed to get like 4k words out of like 5 minutes a screen time and 8 lines. jesus christ.still didnt do my hw tho

next we watch the premiere of s3 and see what happens. thanks for reading

read the next parts:

Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

#i got exactly one (1) hour of sleep last night holy shit #this was so many bad decisions wrapped in one #chicago med #med rewatch series #ava bekker #mine #love hurts

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