#james potter humor

[patrophthia]

what letters? | james potter

pairing: james potter x reader

genre: miscommunications, angst, unrequited crushes, fluffy ending, not proofread

wc: 3.1k

originally posted on wattpad

"you deserve someone better," peter said in confirmation to her words (despite her tone being laced with sarcasm).

"you deserve me," sirius chirped in, smiling charmingly. she rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance, only for his grin to grow wider. "scratch that, you're too good for me love."

"you deserve prongs."

there's nothing worse than being stood up on a date. being sat there, waiting for someone who would not show up, feeling as though everyone's eyes were on you, silently judging you for your lack of luck.

it feels even more terrible when you're sat at a crowded place, people roaming around thinking they've found an empty spot only to find out that you were sat there: at a table for two or more on your own.

"guess what?" james asked, sitting down beside her in the empty booth without sparing a second thought. if he noticed her sour mood, his didn't show it.

"what?" she mumbled, amusing him.

"so you know how evans and i are partnered up for potions?" he said slowly, moving closer to her so sirius, peter, and remus could slide into the booth as well. at her nod, he continued, "and do you recall how i fancied her for so many years?"

"i think i do," she answered, feeling slightly nauseous at the prospect that maybe just maybe lily finally gave in and agreed to go on a date with him. "what about it?"

"so i was talking to her today and for the first time in forever, i didn't feel anything."

she looked at him skeptically, taking in his words into consideration. "congratulations?"

"congratulating me feels a bit pathetic," he said off-handedly, voice calmer than when he first started. clearing his throat, james leaned back to the booth as he decided to switch the topic. "so how was the date- oh."

so he did not notice her sour mood.

"he's ugly anyways," james said firmly, "he's a waste of time, you're too good for him."

it seemed as of he was stating his opinion rather than trying to comfort her, saying every uplifting thing he could think of. and before she even knew it, the other three boys joined in, trying to lighten up their mood.

she couldn't stay upset for long when their smiles were so infectious, the corner of her lips turning up as well. "yeah, yeah, i get it. that's enough, i'm out of his league. i know."

"you deserve someone better," peter said in confirmation to her words (despite her tone being laced with sarcasm).

"you deserve me," sirius chirped in, smiling charmingly. she rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance, only for his grin to grow wider. "scratch that, you're too good for me love."

"you deserve prongs."

•••

one of the things she hated most about being close to the marauders was how much they shared their life with her. being the only girl in their friend group, she was the designated person to go to whenever there were girls problems.

she didn't mind remus, peter, or even sirius when they came for advice but there was always something bothering her when james came to her. it hurt to hear him talk about other girls he wanted to go on dates with.

she couldn't understand why it stung so much, hurting to an extent that she couldn't quite describe, it felt as if it was a deep frustration kept inside of glass bottle, unable to be opened unless it was shattered. she succumbed when the pressure became to much, confiding in sirius and remus her feelings only to have them point it out. she fancied james.

she fancied her best friend.

and every guy she'd dated ever since he became infatuated with lily evans was just a ruse to distract herself from her real feelings. maybe that was why she didn't feel sad but rather annoyed when she was stood up on a date. why sirius purposely nudged her in what he deemed was the right direction when he said that she deserved someone like james.

she mustered up the courage to tell him how she felt multiple times but was always discouraged whenever he brought lily up, whenever he mentioned anything that she did and put her up on a pedestal.

lily was great, she knew that, she was friends with lily herself and the girl is nothing but an angel.

and as much as she thought that the two of them would make a good couple, she couldn't help but feel relieved when james told her he'd finally gotten over her. maybe this was the right time for her to finally make her move.

there was a knock on the door making her perk up from her seat. clearing her throat and straightening out her shirt, she called out. "come in!"

the doorknob turned, the door creaking open the slightest bit, unruly black hair peeking through the small opening, james had an hand over his glasses. "are you decent?"

with a short laugh, she answered him, "i am."

james came in, a goofy grin on his face when he shut the door behind him. standing almost awkwardly, he looked at her. "a little werewolf told me, you wanted to see me."

"i do." she can't help but smile in return, patting an empty spot besides her. james came forward, taking her invitation for him to be sat. "i wanted to tell you something."

james looked at her patiently, hanging onto her every word. "what is it?"

she gulped, running the scenario over one last time before she spoke it out loud. it was the day before the school year ended, everyone would be on their way back home tomorrow and it was now or never. she was going to tell him how she felt.

and it only took sirius promising her that if she confessed, he would take her on a book shopping spree, all expenses paid by him, even if they were hard covers. the things sirius would do for his friends to be in love.

"promise you won't be mad at me?"

james frowned, his brows furrowing. "why would i ever be mad at you?"

she huffed anxiously, looking to the side. "you might be after i tell you this."

james thought about it for a second, frown not once wavering. "i promise i won't be mad at you."

"okay," she mumbled more to herself than anything, gathering up everything she had in herself for her next words, "i like you. a lot."

james frowned deepened, why would he be mad at her for liking him?

and then it hit him, his eyes widening. she liked him unliked the way she liked sirius or remus or peter, she fancied him. "oh."

"are you mad at me now?" she asked slowly.

james shook his head frantically, denying it. "no, no, no, i promise you i wouldn't be. why would i even be mad at you?"

she studied him, trying to see if he was actually mad at her yet he was being the kind person he is or if he was being genuine. finally she settled on, explaining to him her thought process instead. "because this could potentially ruin our friendship."

"it doesn't," james murmured softly, skipping over her confession. "nothing can ruin our friendship."

•••

"hey remus," she said, clutching her landline close to her ear, "have you heard from james?"

"yeah, why?"

"nothing," she replied way too quickly for either of them to believe her. "[name]..." remus drawled out slowly, trying to get her to let up on whatever it is that bothered her. "i told him."

remus kept silent for a second, she could hear shuffling from his side of the call. "and what did he say?" he asked finally.

she cleared her throat, wondering how their phone call went from the topic of the full moon to this. it was summer break, everyone being back in their respective homes.

sirius was at his flat, his doors open for whenever she needed company. remus was back home, staying with his parents as he helped his mother with her work. peter was at a summer camp, he didn't tell them much about it and they never bothered to ask, if he was okay then it was good enough. james was on vacation with his family, going to see as much of europe as they possibly can.

ever since the break started, she had kept consistent contact with them. remus had picked up every call, answered every letter and even flooed to her house when she'd asked him to. she'd helped sirius moved into his new flat —bought with his uncle's money and even stayed with him as he settled in for while. peter wrote back as much as he could which was to say not much, but the good news was he found a kind girl named ava, he'd even had his first kiss with her.

she'd spoken to all of them but james. there was not a single word that's been exchanged between the two ever since break started. she couldn't call him so she opted on owling him, but her owl always came back empty handed. she was getting worried, maybe his promise of not being mad broke.

"nothing," she answered.

there was a hum from remus, a sense of tranquility falling between the invisible line. "he never knows what to say anyways. have you tried talking to him?"

"i have," she said quietly, "he hasn't replied to any of my letters. i've sent dozens and i haven't heard a single hello in return."

"maybe it got lost," remus suggested tiredly.

she made a sound of agreement before countering, "or maybe he doesn't want to talk to me anymore."

"no," remus dismissed, "he probably forgot to answer, you know how prongs is."

"i've got to go," she said, ready to hang up, "i'll see you on the train?"

"i'll see you then," remus said, and then just before the call ended, he added, "don't over think it, james is an idiot."

•••

"[name]!" sirius cheered the moment he saw her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder the second he got to her side. "how's my pretty girl doing?"

she looked at him with a small struggling smile, unable to carry her luggages under his weight. sirius noticed, pulling out his wand and levitating it behind them. "i'm good, how are you pads?"

"i'm as great as you are," he muttered before spotting remus, calling out for the lanky marauder to join the pair of them. remus kissed his mother on the cheek, bidding his father goodbye then turned to them with a timid smile. sirius repeated his question the second remus came within ear shot. "how's my lovely boy doing?"

"i've been better," he said honestly. sirius took his appearance in, brows furrowing when he noted that remus was still recovering. sirius repeated his spell, levitating remus' luggages behind the three of them as well. "where's prongs?"

"i dunno," sirius said carelessly, completely indifferent with how she tensed up beneath his arm. "i'm sure he's waiting for us in one of the carriages."

"or not," remus muttered, and before he had the chance to rethink his words, he blurted out, "he's probably with evans, they're the new head boy and girl after all."

they are?

james had not told her anything, not one single thing since break started and met its end. and now this?

she felt her stomach drop, every muscle in her body going weak. she froze in her step, unable to keep moving with the information in mind. he was with her, again. she knew that it was wrong for her to feel this way, james had a life, he can do whatever he pleased.

but it did not feel good knowing that neither sirius nor remus told her about this revelation before hand. not until she was to face him again.

"what's wrong?" sirius asked with worry, halting in his steps as well.

remus eyes widened, finally realizing the consequences of his own words. merlin, how he longed to dig himself into a hole right then and there.

"nothing," she answered after a while, feigning a smile. "nothing's wrong."

sirius gazed at her skeptically, disbelieving. "are you sure?" at her nod, sirius pursed his lips, accepting it for now. "let's find ourselves some seats then."

sirius led the way onto the hogwarts express, passing carriages upon carriages to try and find an empty one. eventually, he found one with an all too familiar face in it.

sat there with a big smile was james potter in all his glory, chatting to peter about who knows what. it didn't take long for him to notice their presence, smile growing wider when he stood up, opening up the carriage's door for them.

she turned, not wanting to be trapped in the same compartment as james for the next seven -eight? hours of the train ride only for her wrist to be caught before she could make her escape. glancing up at the arm, she found remus looking back at her with worried eyes.

she shook her head, silently begging for him to let go but remus didn't budge, his grip on her wrist tightened, keeping her in place. "i'm okay remus."

"please," she pleaded so quietly that he almost hadn't heard it. almost. reluctantly remus dropped his hand, letting her go. "i'll see you at dinner."

and with that she left, finding a seat on the other side of the train with her dorm mates and other housemates. her luggages were already put away and she trusted sirius enough to not lose her stuff.

"where's [name]?" asked james from his spot, her stuff was there but where was she? he hadn't seen her in so long. "she left," remus snapped, seeming as if he was ready to bite james' head off but he chalked it up as the after full moon effect. "why?"

"i don't know mate, you tell me."

•••

ignoring james potter was a hard process, the boy was loud (and obnoxious) his presence was everywhere she looked, from her classes to the great hall when all she wanted was a sandwich. "good morning."

"morning," remus said in return, settling besides her on her house table. "did the daily prophet come in yet?"

she thought about it for a second, chewing on her food. "no."

remus nodded, tiredly rubbing his eyes. "prong's asking for you."

"he is?" she asked with slight surprise.

"he thinks you're avoiding him." remus paused for a second, watching as sirius sat down opposing them. "which you are," he added pointedly, "but he wants to know why."

she opened her mouth, ready to reply when she spotted the fore-mentioned boy approaching their table. she stood up, grabbing her stuff as quick as she could and bid remus and sirius goodbyes.

"it happened again!" james exclaimed the moment he landed by sirius' side. "she didn't even say hello!"

•••

james had had enough. it had been three months and two weeks since she admitted her feelings to him and he never once had the chance to speak to her since. he didn't understand why she didn't talk to him on the train then and he didn't understand it now.

when the five of them were sat in the same room, talking within themselves. she had barely even look at him, only chatting with sirius, remus, and peter, it was as though he didn't exist.

he'd had enough, he decided, standing up abruptly. she was sat at sirius' desk, joking with remus —who was sat on sirius' bed about something james couldn't comprehend. making his way over, james cleared his throat, gathering their attention.

"why are you ignoring me?" he asked directly, ignoring the cautious looks that both remus and sirius threw at him.

playing dumb, she frowned. "i'm ignoring you?"

"don't act daft! you've have been ignoring me and you know it!" james said accusingly, "you told me you fancied me and got me all happy and confused and then you proceed to go out of your way to avoid me so please, for godric's sake, why have you been ignoring me?"

"why have i been ignoring you?" she repeated incredulously, "you ignored me first. that's why i'm ignoring you."

"what do you mean i ignored you first?!" he exclaimed with disbelief, "i haven't seen you in three months and when i finally do you won't even look at me, how is any of this my fault?"

"how is any of this your fault?" she repeated, her tone ridiculing him. "i sent you dozens of letters and you never answered! i thought you hated me!"

"letters?" james asked, "what letters?"

she scoffed, "i wrote to you. all through summer. and you never once answered. screw that, i don't care that you didn't answer because maybe they got lost since you kept on traveling but you knew where i'd be and yet you never wrote a single word to me."

"i thought you hated me, i thought you didn't want to see me anymore so i didn't see the point in wanting to see you."

james bit his lips, considering her words. "i didn't write to you because i wanted to give you space."

"when you told me you liked me i was ecstatic, i was also so confuse because i didn't understand why i felt so happy. i thought i liked evans but it's always been you all along and i didn't know how to accept that so i never said anything. i promised you i wouldn't be mad at you let alone hate you and i never was, not once was i mad at you. i was mad at myself for not realizing i loved you sooner."

"what am i supposed to say to that james." she huffed out, feeling helpless. the other three boys were listening in, watching as the drama unfolded while simultaneously silently rooting for them to get with one another, she knew they were.

"that you love me too," james suggested weakly, "i would really like it if you told me you love me too."

"i do," she admitted, "i've always loved you james."

james broke out into a grin. "so you're my girlfriend now?" he asked cheekily. she rolled his eyes, smiling at him as well. "take me out on a date first." he beamed at her, "of course, when are you free gorgeous?"

"when i'm done scamming your best friend's money for books."

—from bee: sigh jamesssss :<

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

After James came out

Euphemia: Careful, the plate is hot.

James: Don't worry, I'm attracted to pans, not plates.

Euphemia: 😑

Sirius: 🤦

Fleamont: 😆 [is really proud of his son's stupid dad joke]

[ecstarry]

spring break

James is willing to do anything to get Regulus' attention, including, participating on a wet t-shirt contest where Regulus will be the judge.

"The curly-haired man scanned him with his gaze, and the moment he reached his exposed abdomen, he blushed. James made him blush. He had found exactly who he wanted to spend his week with.”

Fic: Spring Break

for @malchai and beta-read by @bellaxisworld as part of the @croptopjames

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Sirius: [to the Marauders] What can I say, I like making memories! Sometimes I do crazy shit around you guys just so you can tell other people I did it.

[iamnmbr3]

yeah sure. Harry surviving the Killing Curse twice is cool. But honestly I'm more impressed that he survived saying "there's no need to call me sir, professor" once to Snape in front of a whole room of students.

[thisisatotallysiriusblog24]

James would be the type of person that when he wakes up from anaesthesia and Lily or Reg either of which he's been married to for like 5 years kisses him and hes like "OMG OMG THAT HOT PERSON JUST KISSED ME" and then Lily Or Reg will be like "I'm your wife/husband" and james would be like "OH MY GOD WHATTT?'

[jamespotterbbg]

[adharastarlight]

Sirius: *eavesdropping on Reg's conversation* oh could you stop going on about your sex life with my bloody best mate, its sickening

Reg: *turns to face him, deadpan* believe me, for every time you have forgotten a silencing charm, you deserve it.

Pandora, Barty and Evan: *:0*

[rosekiller-addict]

why didn't anyone tell me how hard it is to write in 3rd person

[pademelonluck]

"i'm not wearing any makeup...?"

james: is that lipstick?

regulus: no?

james: is that face paint?

regulus: no?

james: is that eye shadow?

regulus: no.

james: then what make-up are you wearing?!

regulus: i'm not wearing any makeup.

[dorian-winter]

Hey, I posted the first chapter of a fic inspired by @sebbianas post. This one. ✨

I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope that the people that liked the original prompt might enjoy this, too :)

The story is written from several POV, and the first chapter features Sirius' as well as Regulus' POV. The second chapter will then have Remus' and James' POV for a change.

Here is the summary:

Remus and James work at a fast food chain as delivery guys. The black brothers become their loyal customers, as it seems they have really taken a liking to the taste of the pizza they offer.

What James and Remus don't know, however, is that after 20 days of Pizza for lunch straight, Sirius and Regulus hate Pizza. In fact, they can't stand Pizza's guts. They've eaten so much of it, the memory of it will last them a lifetime. Still, they don't stop ordering.

They hope that at least one of them will muster up the bravery soon to ask one of the cute delivery boys out, so they can finally stop having Pizza for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.

Thanks again for the permission to write this based on your AU! ✨

[patrophthia]

triwizard tournament | james potter

pairing: james potter x reader

genre: fake dating, fluff, angst, pining¿?, OOC james?? basically the plot of goblet of fire if it took place during the marauders era, not proofread!

wc: 7.4K

originally posted on wattpad

"plus, you're incredibly pretty, i'm really not opposed to keep telling people we're together."

"keep?"

"yeah keep." james lifted his head up and looked at her sheepishly. "she's going to run the story which means we'll need to keep the story going, i'll pay you, anything, i'll take you to your favorite shops and buy you whatever you want, just help me with this."

"with what money?"

"with the money that i'll win from the tournament." there's that confidence. "so... yes or no?"

there was a crash somewhere close to her, before she could even look up to find out what the ruckus was about; four boys found themselves around her seat.

"i'm so sorry." a voice whispered from her left. "hey! this is my girlfriend, [name]. bug, this is amy reid."

"hi," 'amy' greeted. before she could even wrap her head around what was going on, she smiled at amy, a short brunette woman who looked roughly in her thirties. "how long have you been together?"

"since last year." one of the other boys answered.

"oh." amy turned from the boy and back to her. "how charming young love is."

"so." amy clapped her hands. it was only then did she realized that amy had someone following after, short and timid; the boy had a notepad in his hand, jotting everything down word for word. "tell me about your love story."

"my love story?" she repeated under her breath.

amy nodded frantically. "your love story of course, how you met, how you started dating, all that good stuff."

"right." she glanced to her left and was no where near surprised when she realized it was james potter, of fucking course, it was james potter who she was in this situation with. "our love story."

sitting opposite both james and her was sirius and remus with peter hovering behind them. she must've made a face, one that was amusing, seeing as sirius grinned at her once their eyes met.

"well," amy murmured. "it seems as though you don't know where to start." amy turned to the boy behind her before she turned back around. "how did you two meet?"

"we share the same classes." that wasn't a lie. "and i thought she was incredibly pretty so i asked her out." liar. "it's quiet a boring story, actually."

"and you?" amy turned to her. "what did think about james?"

"i thought he was—" annoying, loud, dramatic. "charming." amy seemed to like her answer, smiling as she turned to tell the boy to note it down verbatim. "and he was handsome too so it's a plus."

"isn't that just adorable," amy cooed, then her entire behavior shifts. "so what's your opinion about this whole triwizard tournament thing? are you worried, excited? how did you feel when you found out james would be competing?"

honestly? she didn't really give a fuck. she'd hoped that he won the tournament for hogwarts but she couldn't have cared less. "i was really worried, you know. i didn't want my boyfriend to die."

amy smiled, seemingly satisfied with her answer. "well it was nice meeting you, [name]. all though i've got to catch up with the other two contestants as well, i hope we can meet again soon."

"you too." and with that, amy and her minion left. once she was finally out of their sight, the four boys huffed out a long dramatic breath. "girlfriend, huh?"

james collapsed on the table, hiding his face in his arms. "i'm sorry." was this the confident gryffindor everyone had a crush on? "i panicked and you were the only girl i recognized, everyone else was a third year."

sirius bit his lips, hiding his laughter as james dug his head deeper and deeper into his hands. "plus, you're incredibly pretty, i'm really not opposed to keep telling people we're together."

"keep?"

"yeah keep." james lifted his head up and looked at her sheepishly. "she's going to run the story which means we'll need to keep the story going, i'll pay you, anything, i'll take you to your favorite shops and buy you whatever you want, just help me with this."

"with what money?"

"with the money that i'll win from the tournament." there's that confidence. "so... yes or no?"

•••

amy did run the story. along with the story that she might or might not be one of james many lover —this was because, sirius had thought it would be funny to have the other seventh years tell reid that they've all slept with james (how he got them to agree, she didn't know).

james was the first person she saw the next morning (besides her dorm mates). he invited her to have breakfast with his friend, an invitation that she accepted and had found herself quiet fond of everyone he surrounded himself with.

they were all so . . . gryffindor. and she meant that as a compliment.

james walked her to her first class, then her second, then any other that she had after it. once dinner time came, james was the one who awaited her by the great hall.

"hi," he said once he spotted her.

"hi?" she knew they had to keep up and image but she didn't expect to be keeping it up so constantly. "what are you doing here?"

"waiting for you," he answered, james reached forward for the strap of her bag, taking it with ease and began walking into the great hall. "how was your day?"

"it was good." she then proceeded to tell him how everything went, trailing behind him as she tried to ignore the stares that followed her. "how was yours?"

james opened his mouth, an answer already at the tip of his tongue before he shut it quickly, looking perplexed. he was quiet for a second; feeling so so stupid and stunned. for, the only thing he had thought about all day was her. "it was good."

•••

the first task was coming up and with how nosy the marauders are, it was only a matter of time before they found out what the first task was: "dragons." and peter said this enthusiastically because, it was something he never thought he'd ever see in real life.

"that's easy then," said sirius, digging into some yorkshire pudding. "you can just use the conjunctivitis curse, a dragon's eyes are its weakest point."

"yeah but it could end violently," she pointed out. "what if the dragon lashed out and kills him."

"what about a broom then?" lily suggests whilst passing the salt to marlene. "if he flies fast enough, he'd be able to maneuver his way around."

"around what, though?" remus murmured. "we know that the task involves dragons. but what to do with it exactly, we have no clue."

"no matter what, i stick by it," said lily. "broom stick."

broom stick turned out to be the best method. james had gone last after he picked the hungarian horntail. from behind the tents, james wasn't able to watch his competitors —soren from beauxbatons who had gotten the welsh green and amerie from durmstrang who confronted the chinese fireball— attempts but he knew what he needed to do.

steal the golden egg from the clutches of the dragons they'd picked. james had finished the fastest, maneuvering his way around on his broomstick like lily had suggested.

once the tournament wrapped up, amy reid spared no moment before she started bombarding him with questions. how did you feel? was it ecstatic? how does it feel to be the best? and when [name] went down to see him, why isn't your girlfriend giving you a celebratory kiss?

"uhm—" what the fuck does one say to that "—we're not comfortable with showing much PDA."

amy frowned. "oh c'mon you two look great together, it's only just the couple of us. just a kiss for the front page shouldn't matter."

james looked at her skeptically, pushing his glasses upwards. "i don't think us kissing has anything to do with the task i've just finished."

"it doesn't," amy concurred. "but the viewers wants to know more about to the two of you. you've only said that you were together but no single living person have seen the two of you on a date. we're starting to suspect that you're faking it."

"then kissing wouldn't make a difference," remus chirped in. "wouldn't the viewers just make up some crap about them kissing just for the sake of faking it."

"i suppose they could," amy said, smiling patronizingly. "but why should we risk it when you two are so obviously in love." 

"it's—" remus sputtered but it was obviously that he had no counter argument.

james only shook his head, stopping remus and took a step forward. he leaned in slowly and with his voice low, lips brushing against her ear. "can i kiss you?"

he waited, one, two, three seconds, before she nodded. james head tilted backwards the slightest bit before his lips crashed onto her. his arm snuck around her waist and held onto her, bringing her close to his chest almost desperately. his lips lingered until finally, the camera clicked and he pulled away.

and, with a twist of her stomach, she was bitterly reminded that this was all for show.

•••

"wait—" her desk partner called after her, his hand wrapped around her wrist, halting her in her place. "wait, please."

so she did, she waited and turned to face him. standing six feet tall, looking as bright as a golden retriever, smiling his best smile, and her new desk mate. soren edmé. her 'boyfriends' competitor.

"there's the uhm—" he paused, hand scratching the back of his neck shyly. he was handsome, extremely so, handsome enough to rival dorian gray himself. "the yule ball. would you like to go?"

"together?"

"yes -uhm, yes together." his accent was oddly enough, extremely welsh despite coming from france. "as a date."

fuck. on any other day she'd have said yes with no hesitation, but when you're in a relationship —albeit a fake one, with the competitor of the person who was asking you out on a date. saying yes is just straight out betrayal.

"oh." soren sounded deflated and she hadn't even replied yet, was her face really that expressive? "you already have a date, don't you? potter right?"

at her nod, soren smiled softly, accepting his rejection with grace. gosh, he's basically blond sirius.

soren bit her goodbye, muttering something about the golden egg and quickly rushed to catch up with his friends.

she made her way out as well, meeting marlene in the hallways as she greeted her with a large grin. "guess who just got a date for the yule ball."

"lily?" she teased.

"har har you're so funny," marlene said with a roll of her eyes. "anyways, i asked dorcas and she said yes! isn't that just adorable?"

"it sure is," said lily, joining the two of them as they passed by. "it was getting unbearable with how much you were pining after her."

"anyways." lily handed her wand to marlene and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. "have you gotten a date yet?"

"no, i'm waiting on james to ask." she made sure not to mention a single thing about soren.

"why don't you just ask him?" said marlene easily, handing lily her wand back. "why wait?"

because, she wouldn't be able to handle rejection as elegantly as soren did. "asking's too much work. i'll just wait."

"what about you, lils?"

lily shrugged. "a pretty french boy asked me to go with him," she said easily, once she noticed the look on their faces, she quickly clarified. "laurent, his name is laurent, he's as handsome as his friends. he's nice too, so i said yes."

"so you both got dates then?"

"and you." marlene looked at her with false sympathy. "nothing."

"actually, i got asked—"

"what are you pretty ladies talking about?" cut in james. he had his glasses off, opting them out for contact lenses. why he chose to do so? she didn't know.

"yule ball dates." said both lily and marlene.

james' brows raised dramatically. "really?" ignoring the daggers marlene stated through him. "must've slipped my mind."

"aren't you going to ask her to be your date?" no more subtleties then. thanks lily. "she's your girlfriend, isn't she?"

"about that." james drawled, a hint of a smile lingering on his lips. and as she thought he was going to ask, she watched him patiently. "i'm not going with you."

right.

of course.

why would he?

it's not like they were actually together. this was for show and that was all to it.

one for the money. two for the show. james was getting ready so she should let him go.

she hadn't planned to ask him furthermore. she already knew why he didn't want to go with her but if she had planned to. marlene beat her to it. "why not?"

"don't you need a date to the ball? you're a triwizard champion and all?" lily added on.

"i never said i didn't have a date," said james.

it shouldn't have bothered her, really, it shouldn't have. and yet, she couldn't help but feel —for the lack of better words— stupid for expecting other wise. of course, james potter of all people wouldn't go to the yule ball with her. he was the leading man after all.

"then what's about [name]?" lily asked, eyes wide with offense. "you're just going to leave her alone?"

"she doesn't mind." james turned to her. "do you?"

"no." she shook her head. "it's nothing, of course i don't mind."

•••

"aren't you coming with us?" jolene asked as she got ready to start the day. "don't you need to pick out a dress for the ball?"

"no." not when she had no plans in attending it in the first place. "i don't want to go."

"why not?" jolene moved away from her own vanity and onto her bed. "this happens once every eternity, how can you not go."

"i just—" am dreading seeing james with someone else, dreading being near his mere presence. "—don't want to."

"not a good enough reason," jolene told her. "you're coming with us to buy a dress, and you're coming with us to that god forsaken ball."

jolene was persistent, she knew that for a fact. and now, as she stood in front of rack stacked with pretty dresses, she was once again reminded about just how persistent jolene was.

"how about this one?" she lifted up a blue dress that was mostly made from tool and lace. "it's pretty."

"it also looks like her tits could pop out any second," rose (their other roommate, and jolene's long term girl friend) murmured, dismissing it with a wave of hand. "why don't you just let her pick something for herself?"

"because, she won't," jolene said sharply. "she's convinced herself that she doesn't want to go. where's the fun in that?"

rose's eyes shifted between the two girls, biting the inside of cheek until finally, she stopped. "why don't you want to go?"

"because, i don't want to," she answered simply. when jolene made a face, she felt the need to add on. "and i don't have a date."

"you don't?" rose asked, surprised. "what about potter? he's not going with you?"

"no."

"why not?" jolene sounded infuriated. "what kind of shit boyfriend doesn't take their girlfriend to a ball?"

"it's complicated."

"just how complicated?" jolene followed up. "c'mon, explain," she demanded, sitting down on the shop's many waiting chairs. "we have all day."

so she did. from to start to finish. "jesus," jolene muttered once she finished. "what kind of dick move is that? no wonder i like women."

rose pursed her lips. "what about soren? does he still want to go with you?"

"i dunno," she answered honestly. "and even if he did i don't think i'd be able to go with him, not when i rejected him."

"then you'll go with us," said jolene, standing up. "the three of us can go together."

•••

the entrance hall was packed with students, all milling around waiting for eight o'clock, when the doors to the great hall would be thrown open. those people who were meeting partners from different houses were edging through the crowd, trying to find each other.

jolene had found lily and led her to where rose and [name] were waiting. the oak front doors opened, and everyone turned to look as the durmstrang students entering with their professor. amerie was at the front of the party, accompanied by —oddly enough, peter pettigrew in dark robes that matched her dress.

how the two got together, she'll figure that out later.

she still hadn't seen james or soren, but buried the thought and went into the great hall like the rest of her friends.

the walls of the hall had all been covered in sparkling silver frost, with hundreds of garlands of mistletoe and ivy crossing the starry black ceiling. the house tables had vanished; instead, there were about a hundred smaller, lantern-lit ones, each seating about a dozen people.

they found themselves by one of the many tables, chatting along as they waited for the ball to kick start itself.

once everyone in the hall settled, the champions and their dates walked in in lines. first to come in was amerie and peter —and odd couple that looked honestly cute with one another in a way she couldn't explain. the second to walk through the door was soren and a pretty girl in purple robes.

then —at last, was james potter. and his date. dates, actually. james had brought two dates. his dates who were wearing bright red dresses. ones that matched james' cut for cut. james potter and his dates were wearing the same dresses. james potter was wearing a dress. and so was his dates, sirius black and remus lupin.

"they're taking the piss out of this," jolene cackled loudly, a domino effect that soon spread throughout the hall: each students laughing loudly at the sight before them.

the three boys grinned, —well two really, james and sirius; remus was plain out grimacing— happy to have created such an uproar. searching hazel eyes met hers through the crowd, watching the most minuscule of her reaction with his lips curving upwards.

then he mouthed something, and despite being a shit mouth reader. she thought he told her to: "save me a dance."

the three boys started walking up towards a large round table at the top of the hall, where the judges were sitting.

when all the food had been consumed. dumbledore stood up and asked the students to do the same. then, at a wave of his wand, tables zoomed back along the walls, leaving the floor clear, and then he conjured a raised platform into existence along the right hand wall. a set of drums, several guitars, a lute, a cello and some bagpipes were set upon it.

the weird sisters now trooped up onto the stage to enthusiastic applause; they were all extremely hairy, and dressed in black robes that had been artfully ripped and torn. they picked up their instruments, and came to realize that the lanterns on all the other tables had gone out, and that the champions and their partners were standing up.

the band played a slow song and she could see her friends separating. jolene and rose. lily and laurent. and finally marlene and dorcas. they looked reluctant in leaving her alone but with multiple shakes of her heads, they left towards the dance floor.

"hello." was the first thing soren said once he found her. "can i have a dance?"

she was skeptical, not wanting to steal him away from whoever his date was. soren, seeming as though he'd read her mind, smiled.

"we only came as friend." he told her. "she fancies this guy and wanted to make him jealous. it's the least i can do when the girl i wanted to come with already had a date."

she laughed, the irony of her coming as her friend's third wheel not lost. "poor you."

"poor me," he repeated, smiling charmingly. "now about that dance?"

she opened her mouth, ready to agree when someone came before her. drowning in red tool was james potter, positively beaming.

"hi." james smiled, and she noticed that once again, he had opted his glasses out for contact lenses. "can i have this dance?"

she turned to soren, watching as his face drop. his expression quickly shifts, rose-colored lips tugging into a small smile as he shrugged and sent her off.

at her nod, james' grin widened. offering a hand out, she placed her hand onto it and james made use of it by holding on tightly as he tried navigating the dance floor.

before they had gotten far, soren stopped them by calling out james' name. james turned, so did she, and found the blond looking hesitant.

finally, soren let up. "have you figured out what's inside egg yet?" he asked james directly.

james shook his head, brows knitted. "no."

"you should try putting it in water—" he paused, licking his lips. "—you'll find it very helpful if you did so."

"okay," james murmured, clearly skeptical. "how'd you find out?"

"laurent is very clumsy," soren said off-handedly, his eyes then briefly glanced towards her. "but you should look into it, i think i might need some help when it comes to it."

and with a fond smile, soren left the pair alone. james shook his head, only then realizing that their hands were still intertwined. james didn't make a move to let go, only continuing on his journey to finding the perfect place for their dance.

once they found a good spot, not too crowded and yet not too bare with the music loud enough for them to be able to hear one another. james guided both her hands to his shoulders —bare due to the off the shoulder cut he wore, and placed his hands on her waist.

"you didn't think i would come with someone else did you?" he asked, swaying. "because, quite honestly i couldn't even dream of it. it was you or no one else."

she didn't know what to say. didn't know how to control the fact that his word had sent butterflies to her stomach so she settled for an easy: "really?"

james smiled, and nodded bashfully. "really. it was the only think i thought of when minnie told us about the ball."

"right," she murmured. "but then i had to compete with two pretty lads wearing dresses so i obviously lost."

"obviously." his tone was light and teasing. "how could one compete with this pretty dress?"

she glanced down, finally taking the piece in and giggled. the dress was a bright red, off shoulder, princess dress. he looked charmingly ridiculous save for his handsome face (despite it losing its iconic presence).

"why aren't you wearing your glasses?" she made sure not to step on the tools of his dress as they dance. "you haven't been wearing them for a while now. why the change?"

james shrugged. "why not the change?" with a roll of her eyes, james answered honestly. "because, i thought you'd like it."

"why?"

"a couple weeks back, whilst working with lily at her dorm, i took my glasses of to clean them and mckinnon told me i looked handsome." he stopped for a second, gulping. "i'd thought you'd agree so i started opting for contact lenses instead."

"i guess i did it to impress you."

heart: melted. "james."

"bug," he said in return, using the same pet name he had called her when he first painted himself to be her boyfriend.

"thank you for doing this. i do think you look nice with contact lenses." she smiled, an action that he reciprocated. "but i think i preferred it more when you don't have to worry about your contacts drying up."

"i'll keep that in mind."

•••

"wormie," james called out. "lock the door, will you?"

peter did as told, locking the prefect's bathroom door whilst watching as his friends —sirius and james, to be specific— strip into their swimming trunks with remus, and james' pretend girlfriend standing by the edge of the pool. 

remus had the golden egg in hand, passing it down to james once he settled into the water. the tub was clear for the most part, the group had decided that that was best.

any bubbles would obscure the view of what happens to the egg.

james with the egg in hand, shot her a playful look. "you sure you don't want to come in, bug? the water's very nice."

with her back pressed against the wall and her arms crossed in front of her chest. she quipped, "never have i ever before."

with a final smile, james turned to sirius who was watching them with careful eyes. james then proceeded to slowly lower the egg into the water, scared that this might be soren's plan on ruining james chances in winning.

but james had always been trustful. so once nothing happened after submerging the egg, james' hand reached over to open it and this time —unlike the several other times, the marauders attempted to open it— it did not wail.

instead a gurgling song was coming from it, a song who's word they could not distinguish through the water. "put your head under," remus told them.

sirius and james took in a deep breath, and slid under the surface —and now, sitting on the marble bottom of the tub, they heard a chorus of eerie voices  singing to them from the open egg on james' hand.

come seek us where our voices sound. we cannot sing above the ground, and while you're searching, ponder this we've taken what you'll sorely miss, an hour long you'll have to look, and to recover what we took, but past an hour - the prospect's black too late, it's gone, it won't come back.

"note this down," said james, rising up from the water. peter scrambled to his book bag, grabbing the first piece of paper and quill he could find and waited for james to recall whatever the song was.

it was barely days before the second task, which meant they were running on borrowed time. after dressing as quickly as they could, the five of them began their way towards the library.

they ended the first and second day empty handed, not having a single piece of formation at their aid. the third, which was one day before d-day, was almost repetitive of the last two days. keyword: almost.

as the sun began setting and the five grew tired from the lack of findings, the sight of lily evans and frank longbottom was practically god sent.

lily was the first one to speak, noticing their miserable expressions. "still nothing?"

"nope," james concurred, head buried into his books. "absolutely nothing."

"honestly, after million of years of magic there ought to be at least one or two charms that helps you breathe underwater but there's absolutely none."

"what do you mean there's none?" lily asked with confusion.

"there's absolutely zero." james exaggerated. "we've been here for days and still haven't got a thing."

"do you think maybe you've been looking for it in the wrong books?"

"no." james drawled, then he turned to lily. "do you know something i don't?"

"a few," she murmured. "like the scuba spell and the bubble head charm both of which are used to breathe underwater."

"and gilly weed," frank added.

"brilliant," james said sarcastically. "why have we been here all day when we could've asked this two geniuses. why are you even here anyways?"

"professor mcgonagall sent us to fetch those three." lily pointed to [name], sirius, and peter.

she hadn't done anything wrong if she could recall. so why did professor mcgonagall want to see her?

"why?" sirius asked before she could.

"she wouldn't tell," frank shrugged. "she was looking a bit grim when she asked for you three, though."

"we're supposed to take you down to her office," said lily.

the trio stood, standing side by side. "we'll meet you back at the common room."

when morning came, james had somehow acquired gilly weed by sneaking into one of the many green houses on the school's grown. he put on his contacts —seeing as it would be better for him to not worry about losing his glasses— and hoped for the best.

he remembered a brief conversation he had the night before. frank longbottom was half asleep and half delirious; his words mumbling with one another. "do you know how to swim?" he'd asked.

"yes, no. well— well enough for me to complete this task," james answered.

"okay," frank murmured, nodding off from his bed. "just remember, if you forget how to swim, just wiggle like a worm and you'll be alright."

remus and james shared a look, hiding their laughs. "thanks."

neither sirius, peter nor her had return —or maybe they did but he had missed them. maybe they had gotten back after he'd went to bed and gotten up early for whatever mcgonagall needed. or maybe they hadn't returned at all.

james shrugged away those thoughts as he had breakfast, his head interpreting the song as many way as he possible could.

they had taken something from him that he'd surely missed and he had an hour to retrieve it, if the hour passes and he had yet to retrieve it, whatever it was would be gone.

and now as he stood on the edge of the platform, upset that neither his best friend or girl friend was there to cheer for him, james took a great breath, ate his gilly weed and dived in.

the lake was so cold he felt the skin on his legs searing as though this was fire, not icy water. the first gulp of icy lake water felt like the breath of life, and james realized then that he had grown gills.

james stretched out his hands in front of him and stared at them. they looked green and ghostly under the water, and they had became webbed. he twisted around and looked at his bare feet - they had become elongated and his toes were webbed, too, it looked as though he had sprouted flippers.

the gryffindor smiled to himself; he was partially a merman, brilliant

he swam deeper and deeper —and mentally wondered if he looked like a worm. he turned full circle in the water, the silence pressing harder than ever apainst his cardrums. james thought he must be even deeper in the lake now, but nothing seemed to be moving except for the rippling weeds.

he swam on for what felt like at least twenty more minutes, passing over vast expanses of black mud now, which swirled murkily as he disturbed the water. then, at long last, he heard a snatch of haunting mer-song.

an hour long you'll have to look, and to recover what we took,

he swam faster, and found a large rock emerge out of the muddy water ahead that had paintings of merpeople on it. though terrified for his life, james pushed it aside and swam forward, following the mer-song.

. . . your time's half gone, so hurry not lest what you seek stays here to rot . . .

a cluster of crude stone dwellings strained with algae loomed suddenly out of the gloom of all sides. here and there by the windows james saw faces.

all of which had greyish skins and long, wild, dark green hair. their eyes were yellow, as were their broken teeth, and in, wore thick ropes of pebbles around their necks. they leered at james ,as he swam past, one or two of them emerged from their caves, to watch him better, their powerful, silver fishtails beating the waves with spears clutched in their hands.

james sped up and a strange sight met his eyes.

a whole crowd of merpeople were floating in front of the houses that lined what looked like a mer-version of a village square. a choir of merpeople were singing in the middle, calling the champions towards them, and behind them rose a crude sort of statue; a gigantic merperson hewn from a boulder. three people were bound tightly to the tail of the stone merperson.

[name] was tied between sirius and peter. all three of them appeared to be in a very deep sleep. their heads were lolling onto their shoulders, and fine streams of bubbles kept issuing from their mouths.

james froze briefly, not knowing who exactly he meant to be saving. he cared for the three of them deeply, his two best friends and the girl who had helped him more than he could've asked for.

james shook away his thoughts and sped towards the hostages, half expecting the merpeople to lower their spears and change at him, but they did nothing. the ropes of weed tying the hostages to the statue were thick, slimy and very strong.

he looked around. many of the merpeople surrounding them were camping spears and wondered if he could've borrowed one of their spears but, he knew that they wouldn't let him.

this was his task, he needed to finish it himself.

so james swirled around, looking for anything that would suffice. then it hit him —quite literally, an object hit his head and he turned as quickly as he could to find soren watching him.

the object fell to the bottom and james registered it as a covered butterfly knife, he was unsure what to do with it. what was he playing at?

"get him." soren told him, his voice was clear; the bubble-head charm was useful when it came to this. soren grabbed another knife from his pocket, opening it up to hack at the ropes on [name]'s ankle, when they broke soren spoke once more. "hurry."

so she was what he would've missed most?

when soren left and amerie came, her making quick work at peter's rope. james was reminded that he was soon to run out of time. james dove down, picking up the knife soren had thrown at him and began cutting at sirius' ropes.

once they broke, james wrapped an arm around sirius' torso and began swimming upwards. when he felt his head break the surface of the lake, he pulled sirius up with him.

amerie and peter came up just seconds after, making the crowd in the stands let out a great deal of noise, shouting and screaming, everybody seemed to be on their feet. james had the impression that they'd thought that sirius, peter and amerie might be dead but they were wrong.

sirius expelled a great spout of water, blinked in the bright light, turned to james and said, "i've never had someone make me this wet before."

james ignored him, too preoccupied with the fact that not only was soren's price possession his girlfriend but that soren had helped him twice now. and the lad didn't seem to be expecting anything in return.

he removed his arm from sirius' torso and swam towards the platform. his entire body ached, his previous fish-like feet and hands turned back to their normal state, clearly human as days.

amy reid was quick at rushing towards the pair of them once they rose. asking james question after question about why soren had saved his girlfriend, why soren was looking at her with so much concern and affection as he tried to help her recover from the task, and finally, why wasn't he angry that soren was doing so.

james didn't know for one. and for two, he really had no rights to be angry. she wasn't his girlfriend and as much as they pretended that they were, he could never lie to himself about that. not when he had always been to scared to make a proper move.

"james." her voice was familiar to him, he turned around. she looking at him with wet hair and even wetter clothing. she then pressed a hand to his cheek, turning to gaze at each side. "are you okay?"

james gulped, nodding. "i'm fine, bug." he forced himself not to lean into her touch, warm and welcoming despite the coldness on her fingertips. "brilliant even."

he nodded his head forward, and found soren watching the pair of them; james smiled weakly, an attempt at thanking the blond. "how's he?"

"he's fine," she answered. "he's very ecstatic that he got first place. i think he might implode any second now."

"from what?" seeing her touching james so intimately when she was the thing he'd missed most and yet, he couldn't have her?

"excitement." she told him. "what else would it be?"

•••

as the day of the third task creeps closer and closer, so close that it was a night away. she can't help but feel worried for what's about to come.

the triwizard tournament has quite a record when it came to death. and she really didn't want to see her 'boyfriend', the guy who saved her life —albeit him being the cause of her possible death, and her friend's new girlfriend dying.

still, as the day approaches, all she could bring herself to do was help them every single way possible. james had gathered that the task had something to do with the quidditch pitch so he told soren as a form of repayment.

the five of them —it being her, james, sirius, remus and lily, for peter was helping amerie out— had found themselves in a secluded classroom, practicing spells after spells.

james had been acting mechanically lately, that she noticed. she wondered if it had anything to do with what happened during the second task— more specifically, soren. she decided not to ask, whatever was going on with james was not her problem.

she shouldn't want to know unless he decides to open up to her about it.

"bug." when she started responding to that pet name exactly, she couldn't pin point. "we're just about to leave, aren't you coming?"

"oh." she stood up from where she'd sat. "yeah, 'course."

"on second thought," james murmured, glancing between her and his friends who were stood by the door. "just go on without me, i need to speak to [name] for a bit."

the three bid their goodbye and left. james turned back to her when he could no longer hear their footsteps and almost smiled at the confused look on her face.

"i . . . kind of have to tell you something," he told her, swallowing hardly. "it's just that— the final task is tomorrow and the triwizard tournament is quite notorious for its deaths."

he then continued. "i suppose i'm telling you all this so i wouldn't regret it if something where to happen to me."

as james did everything and absolutely nothing at the same time, she can't help but think that this is it. this is where james decided that he'd used her until she was powerless, that he didn't need her anymore, that this was where it all ends.

and she didn't know/can't differentiate whether she feels happy or miserable over this. or if she felt both. but to her surprise, james confessed.

"i think i like you."

it took her one, two, three seconds to process this. i think i like you. he thinks he likes her. he thinks he fancies me. "what?"

"i lied," james began. "there was a reason i ran to you that day. i didn't know why i chose you then and still don't now but what i do know is that alice was there and we both know she's nice enough to help my lie to reid and yet, i chose you to help me out."

james took in a deep breath. "i couldn't stop thinking about you the days after, i didn't know why but i chose not to dwell on it for two long. and then the ball happened, you look so beautiful that i felt stupid for even considering going without you."

"i should've figured it out sooner but i didn't," he mumbled. "i still haven't figured it out now."

"what i have figured out is that i don't like seeing edmé look at you the same way i look at you. i don't like knowing that he cares about you as much as i care about you. i don't like that he's sure about his feelings for you while i'm not."

she put the pieces together then, it was so nice for him to lay it all out in front her.

"i think i fancy you, bug." he looked at her, really looked at her this time and said, "and i don't know what to do about it."

•••

whoever was running the tournament is a dumbass. who decided that putting a maze in a quidditch pitch was a good idea. who decided that making the final (and probably most important task) almost unwatchable was a good idea.

all she could make out from her seat was some random heads of hair, running round in every direction; all trying to reach the middle where the cup sat prettily on a platform.

both soren and james had gotten head starts. james for being the fastest during the first task and soren during the second.

it was about forty minutes into the task when the crowds started up, murmuring about a champion's return with the cup in hand.

everyone watched with baited breath, each school hoping that their school champion would pass through the maze as if they were the flash themselves.

and after a few more apprehensive minutes, the hogwarts students shoot up from their seats; screaming, yelling, shouting loudly in celebration. chanting the name potter over and over again when james walked out with the biggest grin he'd ever worn in his life.

lily pulled at her hand, leading her way down the stairs and onto the pitch where james stood handsomely, turning from cameras to cameras and to more cameras until he finally spotted them.

her more specifically.

james was practically beaming by then, turning to reid and told her kindly. "excuse me, i need to go kiss my girlfriend."

james passed the trophy to sirius on his way to her and grabbed onto her wrist, he led the way towards a secluded area and before she could even say hi; james had pressed his lips onto hers.

his bottom lips tugged between his teeth when he pulled away, looking at her with nothing but adoration in his eyes. "i won."

"you did," she concurred. "congratulations."

it didn't occur to her then what exactly had happened. they had kissed before, this was nothing new.

"i told you i'd win," he told her. "i'm never wrong about those stuff."

she only hummed, smiling and nodding as she let him take his win.

james, seemingly high on victory, told her almost breathlessly. "you are the most beautiful girl i've ever seen."

her eyes shot to the ground without intending to, mouth dry with no good response. james' hand found her chin, gently tilting her face upwards so he could get a good look at her.

"i like you," james said lowly. "that i'm sure of now. i really really like you, bug."

"and i would really like to kiss you and be your boyfriend for real this time." he finished.

james waited, one, two, three seconds, leaned in and when she made no move in pushing him away, he pressed her lips onto hers. kissing her with so much passion she would've fell if it weren't for him wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her desperately close to his chest, holding her tightly in place.

and this time, this time, she realized that there was no one watching. there was no cameras clicking, no one forcing him to kiss her to prove that it was all real because, this time james is kissing her because he wanted to. because, james was sure he likes her.

—from bee: this fic was one of my longest fic of all time sksksk i love james very much hehe

[lionmythflower]

i need someone to blame so imma blame @no-names-work for getting me to read Destiny Has a Wicked Sense of Humor bc it's 1:30am and I just finished reading it and it's now one of my favorite fics

[feistyfox47]

Harry Potter and Percy Jackson crossover picture you say? No problemo 😂😂

[theidlespoon]

reminder to check in on your marauder fan friends. reblog to save a life.

[thisisatotallysiriusblog24]

a few low quality marauders memes