#james would care so deeply for marlene

[dorlezzie]

what do we think : tlou au; james is joel, marlene is ellie. james is in charge of marlene because mary can not run the order, escape the infected and the ministry, and protect the kid. she asks him this favor but the transaction fails. james now wants to find sirius and remus, secluded somewhere up north, because black apparently has a brother in the order. someone who might help them, because marlene's supposed to be the cure. but, that girl, she reminds him of harry. his son, his baby boy, shot because he got bit. once second, he was there, smiling and laughing. the other, an infected biting his delicate arm. so, you can understand when james makes a promise never to care about marlene. and how he desperately failed.

[loveyouprongs]

did my heart love till now?

remus lupin x fem!reader | she’s a hopeless romantic who loves halloween. he loves her. or at least he very, very, strongly likes her in a way he’s never liked anyone else. enough to wear matching costumes

upcoming content: fluff! mentions of alcohol. lmk if you think i missed anything

authors note: i hope you like this! romeo & juliet is my favorite play and the 1996 film is my favorite movie! and remus is my favorite boy :’)!

word count: 2k

masterlist

remus had been staring at himself in the mirror for so long his reflection was starting to blur, like a watercolor painting made up of the soft brown of his hair, his pale complexion, and shining silver. he felt like a fool. “a lovesick fool,” james would say, but in this moment, he just felt like a fool. period.

“hey moony, have you decided what you’re going to be for halloween yet?” sirius asked as soon as he and james barged into their shared apartment. remus tore his gaze from his book at the sound of his best friend’s unnatural sounding greeting, loud and jilted as if he’d been practicing it.

“…no, wh-“

“well look no further!” james very enthusiastically exclaimed, pulling a brown bag out from behind his back which promptly fell to the ground, the contents now hanging between him and sirius. it was a knights armor. metal shoulder pads atop a slinky silver long sleeve top with chains resting across the chest.

“what the fuck is that?”

“your halloween costume!” james said as if it were obvious.

remus could do nothing but look at his two friends, who he cared for very deeply, as if they were right idiots.

“don’t you get it?” sirius asked, “it’s romeo!”

remus then felt his face red, heat rising to his cheeks all the way to his ears and he knew he couldn’t play dumb to get out of this.

last week at dinner you had said that you were planning on dressing as juliet for halloween. “from the movie of course!”

“isn’t that part of a couples costume?” marlene asked, “are you bringing a mystery man with you to my party?”

at that, remus tensed, his shoulders instinctively rising to his ears and his heart quickened waiting for your response. he hung out with you pretty much every day, you’re tight knit friend group always sharing at least one meal together. he felt like he would know if you had a boyfriend, but he was still feeling queasy waiting for your answer.

“no mystery men with me! i guess it could be a couple’s costume, but it’s so pretty, i don’t mind doing it solo.”

remus felt his body relax and continued to pick at his food, stealing glances at you whenever he could, missing the mischievous looks being traded between james and sirius.

“i am not wearing that,” remus said resolutely.

“why not? girls love this stuff!” sirius responded, tossing the costume on remus’ lap. he refused to touch it, as if any sign that he openly had feelings for you would somehow come back to bite him in the ass. it rested on his legs like an anchor.

“you want me to surprise her with a matching costume? that’s pathetic.”

“it’s sweet!” james stressed.

“yeah, and she’s always so heart eyed over that gooey romance shit, you show up in this and she’ll be begging for it!”

sirius’ crude comments was met with a smack in the head from james and an unimpressed stare from remus.

“remus, i’m telling you, this is a perfect idea! she’s single and dressing as one half of the greatest couples in history, if you show up as the other half, oh it’ll be like straight out of the pictures!” james swooned. remus felt his heart soften at his overdramatic friend, who he knew was just trying to help him be happy, but his nerves overpowered any convincing.

“you do know they both die at the end, right? kill themselves, even. not sure that’s a message i want to send.” remus muttered, standing up from the couch to go to his room, tired of his friend’s antics.

“you’ll never get a date by just staring at her, mate!” james called out, “and she’s well fit, too! you’re time is running out and you know it!” sirius added as remus walked down the hall, the metal costume in tow, only to be shoved in his closet.

but as halloween inched closer and his feelings for you only grew stronger, james and sirius’ words echoed in his head. he could never get the thought of your soft voice and sweet smile out of his mind, he liked you. so much.

you were always the one who kept listening to him when whatever he was saying was drowned out by the group. always spoke to him in dulcet tones, especially when you felt he had a headache. you were smart and funny and kind, not to mention beautiful. beautiful in a way that reminded him of the princesses and angels he would read about in books when he was a child. soft and warm, a glow seemingly always emanating from your figure.

remus would be content with just looking at you for the rest of his life, he thinks (deep down in the back of his brain, terrified of the strength of his own feelings) but it would be nice to do it without the feat of getting caught by your stare, or his friends taking the mick out of him afterwards.

so here he stood, his torso slightly weighed down by the heavy detailing, but it fit him well nonetheless. it was almost time for them to leave for marlene’s and remus could hear his friends in the living room. he had to make a decision soon.

“y’coming, moony?” james asked through the door.

remus took a deep breath, biting off a square of chocolate. he could do this. it was halloween! you’re supposed to be in a costume. and the film was popular enough, he figured, that he could play it off as a coincidence if things went south.

“…yeah, i’m coming.” he stepped out the door and walked down the hall, rolling his eyes at james’ loud gasp.

“oh my god you’re wearing it!” james practically screeched.

“don’t make me change my mind.”

“oh remus, you’re so handsome!” sirius teased in a high pitched voice, “please be my romeo!”

“for it is the east, and juliet is the sun!” james recited.

“that’s it, i’m changing!” remus exclaimed, only to be dragged back by his waist and walked out the door.

remus was hit by the noise of the party as soon as marlene swung the door open. her eyes trailed down james’ superhero outfit, sirius dressed as patrick bateman, and then remus, her face exploding in an open mouth smile. “reeeeemussss!!!!” she squealed, clearly already on her way to drunk, “you’re such a sweetheart!” she cooed, remus’ cheeks reddening more than he thought possible.

“isn’t he just? now let us in marls, it’s fucking freezing out here!” sirius said, and with a pat on the back, he and james were emerged in the crowd.

“she isn’t here yet, remus, but oh my god she’s going to love it,”

as the night went on remus had practically glued himself to marlene’s increasingly wasted side all night, no sign of james or sirius (who he would bet money are upstairs with dates, or each other), and more importantly no sign of you. he was feeling more foolish by the minute, the metal top growing uncomfortable against his sweaty skin.

disappointed was pooling in his stomach as marlene was nodding off on his shoulder, or so he thought, but he was brought out of his thoughts when a loud yelp escaped her. “you’re here! finally!”

marlene jumped up and stumbled over to a vision in white. flowing silk draped over your body, delicate, feathered wings pinned to your back. excess fabric tied around your waist, framing you beautifully. stunningly. remus felt like he was having an out of body experience, watching himself stand frozen in the middle of the living room, mouth slightly agape, willing himself to do anything other than stare.

“REEEEMUS LOOK! LOOK WHO IT IS!” marlene shout-whispered, shoving you towards him.

you felt your breath escape you at the sight. remus, tall and sweet, looking down at you, his tussled hair dancing across his forehead and his long fingers reached up to brush it out of his eyes, hand trembling. you weren’t fully convinced you weren’t dreaming.

“she, she’s pretty out of it,” he spoke softly, referring to marlene who was now dancing with a lamp.

“y-you look, i-i really like your costume, obviously” you murmured, fiddling with your hands, resisting the urge to run your hand down his sculpted cheeks.

ever since you met him, you believed remus was one of the most beautiful people you’ve ever seen. and then once you got to know him, got to experience first hand his limitless kindness, his witty remarks that always put the boys teasing to shame, and his rare barking laugh that only comes out when he finds something really funny (you elicited it from him once and have spent forever chasing that high).

all your friends said he had a thing for you. that he was always staring at you with soft, hooded eyes, move his plans around for you whenever you asked to study together, rest his jacket on the seat next to him so it would appear taken so no one else would sit down it it until you came.

but you were both famously mild-mannered, shy to a fault, and your feelings never rose to the surface, but the same couldn’t be said for right now.

“oh, thank you,” remus responded, “i thought it would be nice if we could match.”

a giggle escaped you at that and you looked down, unable to meet his eye, you both wearing twin smiles.

absolutely thrilled with your reaction, remus bent his body in half, tilting his head up to catch your gaze, eyes filled with hope, “what’d y’think?”

“i think you look very dashing, rem, i didn’t know you were a shakespeare fan.”

“hmm, not so much,” with a deep breath he let out, “i’m a fan of you, though”

the neon lights flashing over you both contributed to the bubble you found yourselves in. the rowdy guests nothing but white noise as you felt your heart pound against your chest over the soft spoken boy.

“really?” it slipped out. deep seeded insecurity worming it’s way to the forefront as you were positively overwhelmed with confronting your feelings… and that who you had them for.

remus’ heart splintered a little at your warbling ask, “yes” he let out, easy as breathing, “of course.” he placed a large hand on your shoulder, his thumb dancing on the edge of your collarbone.

“i’m a fan of you, too. more than anyone else,” you whispered with a step closer, your white ballet flats lightly knocking against the tips of his black boots, the space between you dwindling.

“aren’t i lucky,” remus murmured wistfully, “to have an angel say that about me”

with that you couldn’t take it anymore and pressed your lips to his, immediately getting lost in the sparks. unsure of what to do with your arms, you awkwardly placed them on remus’ forearms, as if you were holding him still in place. he smiled against your lips, the breath escaping from his chuckle dancing across your face as he lightly dragged your hands up his chest to rest on his shoulders.

you melted as he pulled you in, you gasped as he ran his tongue against your bottom lip, you chased after his lips when he pulled away with a stuttering breath. “y’have to give me a minute angel, or m’heart’s going to give out,”

you giggled, knowing exactly how he felt as he tucked his face into your neck.

“oi oi, c’mon lupin! what did i tell ya! i knew you could do it!” sirius shouted from across the room, thrusting his cup in the air in congratulations.

“oh christ,” remus muttered, his annoyance dissipating with your laugh.

“you are a lover, moony! borrow *hic* cupid's wings and soar with *hic* them above common ground!” james, although very drunk and hiccuping, recited.

all remus could do was roll his eyes, he had everything he wanted right in front of him. after he was done kissing you until the sun came up (and a little bit more after that), he could figure out when the fuck james seemingly memorized romeo and juliet.

[inkymoon16]

Matchmaking

My masterlist

Summary:

Remus Lupin x Reader

The only empty seat on the train is with Sirius, James, Lily and their friends. Since it's a full moon Remus is not on the train. But they think you two would be a good match...

✨

Naturally you were in a rush. You flew through the magical barrier at Platform 9 ¾ and went careening around the corner with your luggage almost falling off the cart. Parents waved goodbye to their children through tear filled eyes but you pushed through the throng of the crowd. You unloaded your things to a train conductor and boarded the train, slightly out of breath. 

Boarding the train always made you a little bit downcast because there was no one to wave goodbye to. When your parents died in a car accident, your aunt whisked you away to an orphanage. Alone and cold, your world changed for the better the day you got the Hogwarts letter in the mail. One of the headmasters at the school was the same as you, a witch. 

You searched the train for an empty seat but as you passed full compartment after full compartment your heart sank. There wasn’t a seat to be found. You didn’t really make friends your first year so there was no one to rely on to save you an empty spot. 

The first thing you heard was their laughter that drifted into the hallway. You peered through the glass windows to see an empty seat. Now faced with actually inserting yourself into a group of people your skin broke into a cold sweat. You must have stalled for a couple seconds too long because a girl with flame red hair and pale skin opened the compartment doors for you and waved you in.

“The train is so packed today! We have an open seat if you want to sit with us though.” She said. You awkwardly shuffled in, sitting down next to a boy with black hair and an impish smile. “I’m Lily by the way. This is James, Sirius, Marlene, Peter, and Mary.” 

“Hi, I’m Y/N.”

“What year are you?” Sirius inquired.

“Second year.”

They all broke out into a smile. “Yeah, us too.” 

As comfortable conversation broke out among the compartment you found you had a lot in common with the rest of the group. It was very easy to sit among them and their company was good fun. They seemed to like you. 

At dinner that night they invited you to sit with them which gave you hope for new friends. They were a raucous group, with little care for the rules. They laughed loud, talked with their mouths full, and poked fun at each other. But they all clearly cared deeply for each other. 

“Hey, I think Y/N will get along really well with Moony. They’re both so quiet.” James said. You gave an awkward smile at the mention of being quiet. You hated being referred to as quiet. Somehow that word had such a negative connotation that you just couldn’t stand. 

Lily looked over at you. “You’re right. But something tells me that Y/N isn’t that quiet.” She smiled at you, as if reading your thoughts.

“Who’s… Moony?” You asked. 

“Only our best friend!” Sirius boomed. “His family is still on holiday traipsing some sort of mystical mountains saving animals or some other ridiculous bullshit.” 

“He’ll be returning tomorrow though. We’re throwing a party in his honor just because. You should come to Gryffindor tower. Our parties are somewhat legendary.” James said, puffing his chest with a pompous flair. 

“Yeah, I’d love to.” You responded, smiling a real smile for the first time in what felt like ages. 

As you walked through the drafty castle halls towards the Gryffindor common room you couldn’t help but let your imagination wander about “Moony”. You had kept to yourself last year and you really hadn’t seen this group of people before. You’d seen Lily in the library often which made you feel drawn to her. They all agreed that you’d like Moony so maybe this could lead to a good friendship. Hopefully he was attractive. 

They had given you the password at dinner last night so you entered the Gryffindor tower with ease. The common room was crowded with lots of people. It was loud, but not raucous yet. You spotted Lily’s red hair from across the room and made your way over. The common room was cozy despite its massive size. Spiral staircases led their way up to the dorms. 

“Glad to see you here!” Lily said genuinely. 

James and Sirius join your company and you all chat about your first day of classes. Their easy joking manner made conversation flow effortlessly. Your eyes roamed the common room, looking at all the people that had come to this party. 

Sirius caught you marveling at all the people. “See I told ya. Legends.”

You laughed at his comment. “Who’s that?” Across the room, near the record player stood a mysterious looking boy. He had light colored hair and a mousy look to his face. He was attractive in a studious way. 

James followed your gaze. “Oh him? That’s Moony!” He grinned. “I knew it. I’ve never been wrong in my life. Knew ya’d like him.”

You blushed, embarrassed. They ushered you over to him and James gave him a slap on the back. 

“Remus, this is my dear friend Y/N.”

So his real name wasn’t Moony. You wondered where he got that nickname from. 

You gave a shy smile. “Hey, I’m Y/N.” 

You two talked the entire night, the conversation never falling silent. James and Sirius were right, you guys had a lot in common. He was a very sweet boy and had a smart insight to many topics you talked about. 

The thing you shared the most with Remus was your taste in music. You discovered that you both shared a love for your favorite singer, David Bowie. He put on his favorite record and Bowie boomed across the entire common room. It was awesome. 

[ma1dita]

'en route' - i. imaginary friend

pictures are not mine, 3rd is a photo concept by @geloyconcepcion on ig

read along here (will update) : part ii, part iii, part iv

song of the chapter: revolution 0 by boygenius

en route playlist: here

words: 3.9k

summary: pt ¼ of ‘en route’. You and James are kindred spirits. Fighting in the First Wizarding War just seems to be your only escape.

warnings: no use of y/n, religious iconography sprinkled here and there, depictions of loss/war, angst, unhappy(?) marriage, fake marriage, twin flames vibe, they’re just kids they should be at the club bro

a/n: setting the scene is always so hard LOL. i love writing morally grey characters, please feel free to comment if you want to be added onto the taglist, or scream at me <3 thanks for the patience, you won’t have to wait as long for the next part lol

(posted 12/28/23, might come back to edit)

—

END OF MARCH 1980

There’s not a lot of things you like to remember about the year 1980. The memories blur together, highly repressed in a busy corner of your mind, and if someone held you at wandpoint to ask about what happened, you’re not sure where to begin. You don’t talk about it much anymore, but if you did, it wouldn’t be sufficient to put it in a few simple words.

And maybe if you did, the remembering wouldn’t hurt as much. With little physical things to hang onto, however—holding onto this hurt reminds you it was real.

From what you can remember anyway, it all started on his birthday.

You felt eyes on you as soon as you stormed into the room. In this congregation of people trying to save the world, it was easy to feel unseen in your struggles to keep moving forward. A pair of kaleidoscope eyes meet yours for a small moment, and that’s when you knew it was risky. It’s easy to hide in a crowd of Aurors enjoying the reprieve from the reality of the world outside of headquarters’ protected doors, fading into the background.

But he saw you, and that was terrifying–to be perceived.

Frank Longbottom pours you a pint, and you nod your head in thanks, taking a long sip before settling down into a chair at the bar. The same pair of eyes see through you, past your hunched frame, down to the core of your grief. Something about it resonates with him deeply, and the boys notice his attention is away from the conversation they’re having in the living room.

“She's pretty, yeah? French, I think. Never says more than a few words to anyone though, I tried. All business,” Sirius mumbles to his best friend over a glass of firewhiskey.

James looks up at Sirius from his position in the armchair, his head tilted to one side in curiosity at the way you fold into yourself.

"Yeah, I guess," James replies reluctantly. "I've never properly spoken to her, but I can tell she's very... mellow."

“Heard she lost people. The war hasn't been kind to her like it has to a lot of us. Don't know if she'll budge, Prongs. Some pages are best left unturned,” Remus says, shuffling a deck of cards between his scarred fingers. Sirius grunts in response, not caring for the conversation as he takes another sip of his drink.

James knows now what he recognizes within you. Grief has been looming over him too, latched onto his spine, weighing him down as the responsibilities grow by the day. His eyes flicker to his wife’s baby bump as she stands near the window laughing at something Marlene and Peter were acting out. Lily falling pregnant was his sign to get his shit together, because if he didn’t, who would?

Like a shadow, you shy away from the light and laughter that fills the room. But there was no escape once he started walking in your direction. There was no grandiose introduction, no heart-stopping, earth-shattering moment. Both consumed by grief unseen by most, two people sat at the bar in silent reverence of each other’s breathing, daring the other to say something.

“Didn’t know I was crashing your birthday Potter. Seems I don't have a gift,” you say suddenly, words rushing out as your eyes trace his profile.

A beat passes.

His head bobs up and for a second you think you’ve said the wrong thing until you realize he’s smiling. He looks up grinning like the devil, eyes meeting yours with a smile you could only describe as radiant. It stirs something deep within you, and you watch your hands reach toward your butterbeer to avoid his searing gaze.

“Terrible time to have a party anyway. I think it’s more for them than it is for me.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you scoff lightly, and his head jerks towards you as you continue, “You’re a bit too happy for my liking.”

“Oh?” His body turns to follow, knees bumping against yours under the bartop.

“How come you know so much about me then? You don’t give any of us a chance with you.”

James says this jokingly, but a part of it rings true like a punch in the gut. You were so impressionable, left soft and malleable by the grief that became you that you found it quite infuriating that someone like him could be so happy in the middle of a war like this one.

A noise of acknowledgement leaves your throat and he watches your fingers clench around the glass. Too much? Change the subject.

“What’s the ‘T’ necklace you have on?”

The chain swings against your chest as you adjust yourself on the barstool, becoming aware of the weight of it.

“What?”

“What does it mean? Must be important to you, whoever this fellow is. See you wear it every day,” he says adamantly, before backtracking and realizing how stalkerish that sounds.

“Potter, have you never met a Christian?” Your eyes dart between him and his hands on the bartop, more glaringly, the platinum wedding band on his left hand. Surely, anything should be more interesting than conversing with a stranger at his own party.

“A who? Who’s Christian? Are you?”

The beginning of a smile breaks onto your face like daybreak. It’s refreshing, he thinks. He doesn’t think he’s made someone smile like that in a while.

“You idi–,” you exhale, “It’s not… Muggles don’t have magic like us, so they have belief systems. Higher power they believe in. Weren’t you Head Boy at Hogwarts, how did you pass Muggle Studies?”

“Elective. Do you believe in that stuff? God and what not?”

Your calf brushes his pant leg accidentally. Why can’t you stop fidgeting? He makes you nervous, all these questions, and then you blurt your response out in rapid succession that he’s almost unable to catch it.

“No. Maybe. My parents did, and God was important to them, so I wear this necklace because of it. They’re important to me. I used to before I found out I was a witch. Used to pray that God would save me, make me something other than mundane—well, here I am now. Not quite sure if he heard me.”

It hits you that the last time you’ve been able to speak about your parents like this was at their funeral two months back. Right before you joined the Order, and sitting here in front of James suddenly feels stifling. You roll your jacket sleeves up, hyperaware that he’s watching your every move.

He keeps his tone light, but the smile on his face is kind as he mutters, “You think some bloke up top is calling all the shots for everyone?” James says this without judgment and your breath quivers.

“I don’t know, but I think things happen for a reason. I’m still trying to find out what that exactly is.”

His pinky nudges yours on the sticky bartop, and his glasses slide down the bridge of his nose as he tilts his head in thought.

“Did. Is the believing past tense?”

You’re not sure what’s changed in the past few minutes that’s made you comfortable in his presence, but you crack a joke before you think too hard.

“My parents are. Past tense.”

Laughter spills out of you like the bubbles on your refilled pint glass, and James scrunches his face, holding back until his shoulders are shaking from the effort.

“Merlin….yeah. Mine too.”

Oh.

You look at him through your eyelashes, silence filling the space between you two as the rest of the party goes on in the background. James clinks his glass with yours, and there’s a silent understanding that bridges between you, connecting you together.

—

END OF APRIL 1980

“You know if we’re gonna be friends, you should probably call me James.”

The two of you were left sitting in the den to deliberate on the mission you were being sent at the end of this week. Three whole months with James Potter could be a nightmare. But it could also be quite fun, you think, watching him flick through the mission files with a quirk in his lip that can only signal mischief. Signing away your life wouldn’t be so bad if you had him to keep you company. You’d never tell him that though.

“Will we be? You don’t seem that excited.”

“Excited to be shipped away from everyone we know is definitely a statement, love.”

“I’m not eager if that’s what you’re insinuating. Just feel obligated, especially if it helps the cause. That’s why you’re here, right?” Right. In a war like this one, ordinary people like you and him pay the highest price. But nothing seemed ordinary about you, like a complex puzzle he was constantly wracking his brain to figure out. There are aspects of your personality that come to light the more he talks to you over these past few weeks, almost luring him in so he can unveil the secrets you hold. Why do you put yourself on the front lines like this, mission after mission? Who do you have in your life that makes you want to fight against the odds? What do you think of to keep you going? Why can’t he stop thinking about you?

He blinks, before looking at you, “S’not that I don’t want to go with you, and do my duty, I just…”

“You love it. I can see it in your eyes, you were trouble at school, weren’t you?” James’ smile gets wider, thinking back to the last few years, before everything went to shit. Back when it was easier, just him and his three friends, and his biggest worry was getting Lily Evans to look at him.

“Just a lot to worry about. People to take care of.” His mind falls back to his wife sitting at home, probably wondering why he isn’t back from the Order meeting, getting more agitated by the minute. He thinks of the nursery he still needs to set up, and the legal affairs he’s left behind after his parents’ death. He thinks of checking in on his boys, who barely know how to take care of themselves if they don’t come over for dinner, and finally, he exhales.

“You?“

It’s an honest question, and by asking it, he extends himself to you, an insight into the burdens he carries with him daily. The difficulty and complexity of having a large capacity to love is carrying the weight until you cannot.

“Just me and my rucksack. Gives me something to do.” You give him a tight-lipped smile, busying yourself with packing the supplies Dumbledore gave you two earlier. Vials of Polyjuice Potion, two golden wedding bands, magically enhanced IDs— it was like playing pretend. That’s all this has to be. Easy enough.

James looks at you and understands a bit more. You need this job. And if he’s being honest, so does he.

“I still wonder what would happen if it doesn’t work out, don’t get me wrong. But then I think, what if it does? What if no one else has to die?” A noise of agreement rises from his throat as he straightens his posture on the couch.

War shouldn’t be an escape, much less a distraction to two people grieving. There are countless muggles and wizards alike losing their lives to a genocide of people undeserving of a fate dictated by a person who plays god. But when you’re fighting for your life before you can even legally drink in some countries, there are two things left to consider when making a decision: to choose something difficult or to choose wrong.

And neither of you have ever found anything easy. Not in this life at least.

He sighs. James really needs to get home.

“Well…We will be friends by the end of this. I’m sure. Already gonna be married to you anyways,” he jokes.

“Don’t get used to it, what a pity that would be for your ego,” you gripe, but a trace of amusement is present on your lips as you watch him stand up to leave.

“We’ll see about that, love.”

He apparates home. Onto the next difficult thing.

When James told Lily that he’d be on a mission for the latter half of her pregnancy, she didn’t take it well. But to be honest, with everything going on, James couldn’t help but feel exasperated. How bad is his marriage that he’d rather risk his life instead of tending to his family’s needs? James sits at the dining table listening to her yell, and he feels extra heavy today, wondering how he feels so ancient at 20 years old.

Years ago he dreamed of this, a wife, kids, a pretty townhouse. But this isn’t what he quite imagined. He looks at his wife as she paces around the room, hand on her bump, red hair spreading little fires as she goes. She’s his everything. Truly. He spent years trying to even find that spark in her, dedicated his life to her, and gave up everything to take care of her—but she struggled a lot these past few months. Her pregnancy brought on incendiary words falling upon him like lashes as she blamed him for moving too quickly. Blamed him for the fact they’ve felt like strangers in this little house. But with his parents both sick, getting married seemed like the next right thing.

An owl flits to his kitchen window once Lily storms out again, leaving nothing but ashes of her disappointment in her wake. Ashes, ashes… James wonders where his spark has gone. He hates to disappoint.

Just wanted to owl and check in. I found myself thinking about you and wanted to make sure you’re okay, with everything changing so quickly. Hope you and your wife figure it out, I’ll be on the 11 AM Knight Bus tomorrow outside Diagon Alley regardless. See you.

He thinks of you, so brave and filled with a spark he used to recognize within himself. This isn’t wrong, he reasons, just difficult. But he won’t admit that taking his wedding band off before settling onto the couch was easier than he thought it would be. He feels lighter. As he takes off his glasses and stares at the ceiling of his living room that night, James wonders how much longer he can ignore his problems by not looking at them properly. How much longer does he have to carry the weight? When will someone help him carry the load?

For now, he tries to sleep. One step at a time, James. Like always. There’s a mission he has to start tomorrow. And he doesn’t want to disappoint you.

—

You’re not surprised when he turns up to your meeting point the next morning, not addressing him when you stick your wand hand out to summon the bus. He bites back a smile, knowing you were right and thinking you see right through him. Now look who’s the eager one.

After paying eleven sickles each, you lead him to a window seat, ignoring the babbles of other passengers as you look out the window.

“You ever think about all these people, with their little lives and everything they have to do?” you pipe up, head against the glass. James scoffs, “I always think about other people. Sometimes I wonder if anyone thinks of me like that. If anyone worries as you do over strangers.”

“I thought we were friends,” you say coyly, still not looking at him, and his heart skips a beat. Probably nerves. “You think Dumbledore cares that he’s sending off two teenagers to fight a war and save the wizarding world?”

“I’m an adult, thank you very much.”

“We’re kids, James,” You look at him, and he blinks at the sound of his given name falling from your lips that he almost loses the next part of your sentence, “we’re kids working towards a bigger picture of world peace. Isn’t that fucking insane that this what our lives amount to?”

He couldn’t agree more, but his forehead creases at your tone.

“Why do you act like your best years are behind you? There’s a lot to live for still,” he murmurs knowingly.

He pats your thigh and the only thing you notice is the tan of his hand against his missing wedding band. Soon it will be replaced by one that binds him to you, temporarily, but it’s jarring all the same. You shake off the uneasy feeling that rises in your stomach.

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

James is doing that thing again, the whole savior complex bit that you notice is one and the same with his trying hard to be carefree personality. But you’re coming to learn that James cares. A lot.

—

“Apartment 11B?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Two swigs of Polyjuice Potion did the job once you stepped off the bus and walked through town to the place you’ll inhabit for a fourth of the year, and quickly, you both become unrecognizable to even each other. A blonde eyebrow looks at you under James’ glasses at your hesitation, so you clear your throat.

“For Mr. and Mrs. Fawley. We just got married, you see. Newlywed jitters.” His voice is lighter and more posh as his hand reaches out to rest on your shoulder.

“Hmm, yes. Harry—er…Henrietta and Draco–” the receptionist squints at her paper, and you sigh at how pretentious the names sound together. Not in this life. You ought to wring Alice’s neck. That girl loves to make stories, and the more frilly your personas she created, the more difficult it’ll be to upkeep.

“No need, Etta and Drake are fine, love,” you say with a more confident grin, leaning against your faux husband.

The keys slide across the countertop, and you walk to the elevator, hand in hand until you’re out of sight. As you approach the door, James crouches a bit and puts his hands on his knees.

“What are you doing?”

“Jump up. Gotta carry you over the threshold.”

“Shut up, Drake,” reminding yourself to use his false name in case someone’s watching, but he looks at you with a shit-eating grin.

“Exactly. Just in case. Come on, just indulge me.” You shake your head in disbelief but hop onto his back all the same. Not exactly traditional, but it stirs up a feeling in you that you haven’t felt before. He carries you through the doorway and spins you once, twice, three times before you squeal and he giggles, placing you gently onto the sofa. It’s a cozy apartment with enough space for the two of you, cream walls, and a small kitchen with an island overlooking the entertaining space. The hallway leads to what you presume is the only bedroom, and there’s a nervous energy that sifts through the air as you both place protective charms everywhere, to ward off prying eyes and ears. How intimate. James falls back onto the sofa with a huff, sitting next to you, and both of you are unsure of what to say.

“I can take the sofa,” he says into the silence, and you turn to look at him incredulously.

‘For three months? James, I can't ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

“You’re gonna be hunched over by the end of the week. What if we rotate?”

There’s no disagreement, feeling the springs in the cushion beneath your bottoms already. James perks up, leaning over to grab something from his bag, and by the time he leans back up, he looks like himself again, the small dose of Polyjuice wearing off. You can feel your hair go back to its original shade and texture, and he smiles wider when he sees your face.

“Look what I got. Remus gave it to me back at Hogwarts but I never really used up all the film. Thought we could take some pictures and look back on this one day.” It’s sweet, how he loves his friends like they’re an extension of himself. You reckon you don't have anyone like that, smiling at him fumbling with the tiny camera in his hands.

“It’ll take a while to develop. Gotta keep it safe if we’re making it out of this,” you say, taking it from him and throwing yourself back onto the backrest leaning against him to point and shoot one of yourselves in this moment, disheveled and domestic. The flash goes off and he looks like a deer in headlights, making you cackle.

“You miss them?” He’s not sure who you’re referring to, so he rattles on anyway. He loves talking about the people he loves.

“The boys…Just miss being kids at Hogwarts, y’know? The end of the world back then was not getting enough O’s on NEWTs. You?”

“Mhm. None of them are in Britain though. They came for my parents’ funeral, and they always say they’ll visit but…That’s my fault too, I guess.” You tuck your leg underneath you, turning to face him, and he’s cuddled up against a throw pillow.

“Your parents were awesome. Didn’t know them well besides your dad being in the Order and stuff, but they were really brave. Your mom hugged me at my parents’ burial and I think that was the first time I let myself cry after they died. That’s one of the few things I remember from that day.”

A breath of air escapes your lungs at his anecdote. It’s been a few months since they passed but you’ll never stop missing them.

“I don’t remember a lot from theirs either. It’s all kind of been a blur since. I think I remember you and Sirius smoking in the back and him offering me a cigarette.” He laughs silently at the memory of his best friend.

“No one ever talks about how much there is to do after your parents die,” he says, and you roar with agreement.

“Yes! I’m still battling out their assets in court! It’s difficult to live life alone, thinking they’ve set you up for the future, but feeling like a rug’s been pulled out from underneath you. I just wish…They left this world together, y’know? And that’s great, but sometimes I feel selfish wondering what will happen to me.”

James nods slowly, taking your words in. He’s never had anyone to talk about this with, people pitying him instead, or acting like it didn’t matter, but it’s been almost a year and he can’t go to bed without thinking about how his parents died a week apart because even in death, they couldn’t be away for long. James wonders if you’ve noticed that he hasn’t talked about missing his wife, and the selfishness you mentioned prods at him. He smiles grimly, and takes the ring box from your bag, asking for your hand.

“Hey. You’re never gonna be alone again, alright? Not if it’s up to me.”

You roll your eyes as he flips the cover open, revealing the two gold bands, yours with a sizable diamond in the center.

“Do you think I’d give you that much power over me, James? This is all fake.”

“Fake marriage, but a true promise. I think you might, eventually.”

He slides the ring onto your left ring finger, sealing it with a gentle kiss on the back of your hand.

—

“The first time you caught my eye it was not love at first sight. Instead, a quiet curiosity was planted in my chest and I knew it was only a matter of time before you sunk beneath my bones and nurtured this deep-seated familiarity into a love so fierce that I would question if I had ever been in love before.” - Lyra Wren

general taglist: @jsjcue

en route taglist: @xcinnamonmalfoyx @babyclea @idkman5335 @timhalamet @ttulipwritezz @lilylovesu @thatonedogwithablog @lovemerigt

[maladaptivewriting]

marauders era characters and their favorite movies

if they lived in the muggle world circa 2024

remus: little miss sunshine brutal and disturbingly human, but intertwined with themes of love, family, support, and healing

james: talladega nights the theme of this movie is that friendship is magic. you know james was saying "if you're not first, you're last" for years after seeing this movie. also he tried to create a shake-and-bake thing with sirius

sirius: howl's moving castle "that howl is so fucking hot" "he literally just looks like you" "exactly" sirius sees himself as this main love interest (howl) and he sees remus as sophie, especially when she's an old woman that howl has to take care of. all he wants to do is take care of remus

peter: bridge to terabithia peter seems like the kind of person to find stories of tragical childhood friendships really compelling. he also loves josh hutcherson (who doesn't)

regulus: the secret life of walter mitty he relates to the main character - a man who is controlled and meticulous but longs to go on an adventure. he also wishes that sirius would pull him out of his monotonous life and into the unknowable but with complete acceptance of who he is.

lily: little women in the way that i feel like i've been shot every time i watch a movie involving complicated mother/daughter relationships, lily would be deeply compelled by stories about sisterhood. especially jo and amy who always feel second to each other

mary: princess mononoke she would relate to the main character and be very enthralled by ashitaka. definitely a comfort watch for her.

marlene: raising arizona or zoolander she loves absurdist comedies with lovable and endearing characters. she is also low-key attracted to nick cage when he was young, but don't tell anyone, it's a secret.

dorcas: arrival or parasite dorcas has unequivocally good movie tastes. she likes high concept stories with heavy thematic writing and devastating plots. she talks about them in detail for weeks afterward

pandora: midsommar and pan's labyrinth she loves movies with comically intense violence. she finds high control groups fascinating. she definitely loves pan's labyrinth because of the freaky monsters and the fact that it sounds like it could belong to her

xenophilius: the twilight saga he knows every detail and loves to examine the story from all sides. he and pandora bond over the fact that carlisle is a joseph smith archetype.

evan: deadpool evan sees deadpool as barty and loves the character because of it. he is also envious of the characters freedom to be himself

barty: the mummy he just thinks that everyone in this movie is really fucking hot

snape: pride and prejudice (2005) finds it super romantic and loves the way characters talk and deliver lines. he listens to the soundtrack as background music while he works.

frank longbottom: spiderman (no way home) no one was more excited than he was when the three spiderman characters interacted. he cried a lot when watching this movie

alice: narnia it was her sexual awakening ;)

narcissa: glass onion she loves a who-done-it story, she reads mystery novels all the time and she thought this one was the most exciting

bellatrix: barbarian or bones and all she watches bones and all like "when is it my turn to be happy?" and she watches barbarian like "what is it like to have a mother who loves you?" everyone thinks she's crazy

lucius: dune or the king he sees himself as the king. that scene where robert pattinson's character is slipping around in the mud and timmy's character is standing there unbothered - that's how lucius pictures himself and arthur weasley. he also thinks of his own family when he watches dune

also this came from a question that @wolfpadx asked in the discord and i just had to elaborate on my thoughts.

[wrongcaitlyn]

do you have any jegulus fic recs??

YES ABSOLUTELY

it's been a bit since i've read jegulus fics bc the solangelo hyperfixation has been so strong but i still have plenty bookmarked!! i'm just going to share my favs of my favs, but i have even more (21 total) bookmarked on my ao3 :)

(also, just gonna put this right here, that i 100% would rec crimson rivers, best friend's brother, and just lovers by bizarrestars, and art heist baby! by otrtbs but i feel like everyone in the jegulus fandom has already read those bc they're pretty much classics, so just know!! i love those fics!! but i'm gonna try and rec some other possibly less known fics here :))

ALSO ALSO - all of these authors have incredible other fics and i highly recommend you check out their entire dashboard!!! for literally every single author on this list. i'm subscribed to all of themjkdf

You Signed Up For This by Solmussa

James and Regulus have a summer fling that they promised their friends they wouldn’t have. Remus and Sirius discover their mutual hatred is just pent-up sexual tension. Dorcas and Marlene are always winning, even when they’re not. It’s a cruel summer for all. first of all i'm extremely attached to this fic bc it introduced me to maisie peters, which led to one of the best concert experiences of my life!! but other than that, this is just so beautifully written, so detailed, and an all-around incredible fic. everything by this author is incredible too!! it's got the perfect balance of angst vs fluff and just summer vibes, which is prob the perfect thing to read right now - anyway, DEF read if you haven't already!!

Mastermind by pieceofchocolate

Regulus Black is the mastermind behind the Liberal party. Unfortunately, he’s never been very good at the more outgoing parts of politics – on a more fortunate note, he has his brother to act as a front figure. Sirius Black has always been the sweetheart of British politics, charming the voters with his wit and charisma. That was until James Potter came around, becoming party leader of his own party, the Leftists. Sirius would probably hate him, if they weren't such good friends. Regulus does not share this problem. Remus Lupin literally just needed a job, and got thrown into the mess of secrets, games and an upcoming parliamentary crisis. With an election around the corner, things are bound to go awry. MCD WARNING but so worth it. like genuinely. it's a painful fic but there's also a good dose of fluff and i enjoyed every single second of reading despite it being politics and.. well, i'm from america so you can probably guess that it was very strange to actually be attached to these characters while they were politicians😭 this one's also so well written and - there are fics where you can just tell that the person cares so deeply about the topic they're writing about, and this is one of them!!! i love finding fanfics where authors are just incredibly passionate about the subject/au OH and it has a taylor swift title. so like. yk it's already gonna be good. (this is also actually one of my favorite songs ever so i was soo excited to read)

blue and yellow skies by alarainai

Quidditch Rivals turned Quidditch Lovers. That's what the world sees them as, at least. Too bad Regulus hates James Potter's guts, and James? Well, it doesn't matter what he feels about their definitely fake, definitely emotionless relationship. c'mon. there had to be one fame au on this list. and i KNOW that this one's sports, but it's so so so fucking good - and i'm gonna be honest, i've read so many of the band au's (there are quite a lot in this fandom, even i've written one) but for some reason i didn't have any of them bookmarked - which tbf, i'm very selective with what i bookmark lmfao but!!! this one is just SO good the plot, the social media aspect, the background wolfstar, just 10/10 fic!!

these violent delights (have violent ends) by damagecontrol

titanic au prepare for pain. MCD warning. but like, the pain is written so well, and it's so heartbreaking, and i literally remember staring at the ceiling after reading this (finishing at like 2 in the morning) and just not being able to think of anything but that ending, and like, you KNOW that you're going to be in pain bc it's a titanic au, but like, GOD it's so good. i genuinely don't even have the words i'm still depressed bc of it (but in a good way)

The Mystery of the Pears by sonwar

In the cave, Regulus doesn’t beg for it to stop. He begs not be left behind, alone. Perhaps this is why, when Kreacher gives one last look over his shoulder and sees terrible, pale hands reaching for his master, he appears in a flash at Regulus’ side, clutches him by the elbow, and Apparates them both out of the cave, directly disobeying his master’s last order. canonverse fic!! and such a lovely au. the romance between them is just so natural, and yet there's still the war going on - but really, it's just so well written, despite all the angst of the war, imo it's just such a feel-good fic. love this one so much.

Only the Brave by Solmussa

A fic about two idiots falling in love (x2 because there's wolfstar, too) during a war, and the sacrifices they'll have to make to survive it. andddd this one's the big one. this one's the one i choose to accept as canon. like. GUYS. THIS ONE'S SO FUCKING GOOD if you haven't already and you're a jegulus fan, you just HAVE to read it like genuinely. the plot is so well-thought out, all of the interludes give these other characters their own stories too, and the angst!!! but also the badassery!!! i can't even explain it but if you want a canonverse war au where jegulus survives and they all win, then, like, this is the one. it's so perfect. prob my fav jegulus fic of all time.

and those r my recs!! hope that you enjoy them, and i have several others in my bookmarks!! i've also written some if you haven't checked those out, but!! happy reading :) thank you for the ask!

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 35

chapter 54:

1. “[Pandora] punches the Auror in the face, then almost instantly bursts into tears. Just starts crying, and the Auror looks so genuinely alarmed by this for a second that they don't even move or do anything. This turns out to be a mistake, because while still crying, Pandora throws herself at the Auror like a wild, untamed cat trying to claw their face off.”

😌😌 my feral girl. 🥰🥰 i love her so much

2. am i slightly sorry that lucius is dead, yes? he was part of an unfortunate system and chose the side that most benefited him, even though either option was the losing side. however, i’m not going to say his death wasn’t coming or undeserved. i’ve been waiting for remus to bash his head in <3

3. remus has such an important character arch. he doesn’t have much time for it, but it’s so important

4. ““Pandora… Darling, what would you like to do?"

Pandora steps into view and looks through the bars at Remus with a trembling smile. "I think I'll hold Remus' hand."”

she’s so lovely, my eyes are welling with tears

5. james is so bighearted. he releases all twelve servants and i love him for it

6. NO! FRANK IS DEAD!!! NOOOO

7. “[James] opens his eyes and looks. He'll always wish he didn't.”

8. james just heard that regulus is out safely and is filled with instant relief. i don’t think i can handle when he finds out that sirius didn’t

9. aaaaaaaaand, i’m not okay.

10. james, what the absolute fucking hell are you doing

11. should i be laughing at james’ failed attempt to drive a car? no. firmly, no. (but that scene will live rent free in my mind for YEARS. plsss it’s so funny)

12. oh SHIT. remus doesn’t know about sirius either

13. barty was given a gun and grins. this man is maniacal in every universe

14. “Barty is doing some odd mixture of a warcry and a cackle as the bullets start ripping free.” jesus fucking christ

15. 😦 all that, just for marlene to be SHOT???

16. holy shit. i thought she just died. but SHE LIVED!!!!! (i am not hopeful. she’s the only other one that i care so deeply about that doesn’t have a pov)

17. 🤢 severus

18. author’s notes 😭😭😭 “murder is a crime. but anyway, i support remus' rights and also his wrongs!”

19. 😀😀 wow! zar is fantastic at writing! i am not okay!

[jewishregulus]

which characters do u hc as jewish? and also would u like to elaborate. id love to hear more about ur hcs. <3

i just got jumpscared by more catholic trauma hcs so let’s get into this!!!

i have three main jewish hcs that i care about very deeply and make content for primarily : those being remus , lily , and the black family ! (wolfstar invented jewish love…..) however i do have other hcs i simply enjoy more passively : dorcas , hermione , lucius , occasionally marlene , and mary! i used to hc pandora as jewish but that was before she was a rosier to me and the rosiers are not jewish in my head but i might sway back towards it 🤞

i have elaborated on jewish lily and the jewish black family in the past so perhaps it is remus lupin’s turn ….. remus is plagued by survivors guilt which i think is really added to by his jewish experience. we are a people who are raised to celebrate our survival and perseverance. i think this would make for an interesting storyline regarding remus and his complex relationship to religion after becoming the Sole Survivor in a way of his friend group …. (obviously sirius is still alive but he’s in azkaban so LOL) … i think in many ways remus would struggle with religion and find comfort in g-d at certain points and then pull back and be more questioning at others. “if there is a g-d he will have to beg for my forgiveness “ (if you use that specific quote for catholic trauma or whatever you should die and go to hell btw) …. he is constantly alienated from the muggle world and viewed as a monster in the wizarding world. his story is very reminiscent to me of certain jewish stereotypes (secret shapeshifters who drink the blood of christian babies blah blah blah) and i think it could be very interesting to see remus battle w these preconceived notions of himself in two different worlds, begging to be understood and viewed as a person in each of them. i like to imagine lyall as a rabbi in many modern aus ! despite remus’ battle w religion i think in the end he feels rlly connected to it and does pray actively and such : because i dislike the trope of religion always being traumatic and harmful especially with jewish characters in which our religion is consistently demonized by the public for evil practices …. this is also why to me remus would only date / marry jewish people bc it’s simply a custom! jewish wolfstar FTW!!!!!!!

my remus is mizrahi, my lily sephardic, and the black family is ashke as hellllllll yall seen them ….. both of remus’ parents r jewish and the black family whole is the most ancient and noble house of judaism, while my lily is patrilineal. i think her n petunia r half sisters and while lily is jewish petunia is not, which creates a divide in their relationship!!

in terms of who i think is actively religious : i think lily remus regulus andromeda and narcissa are , whilst sirius and bellatrix are not particularly , atleast not to the degree it matters to lily remus and regulus!

one of my favorite things abt my jewish hcs is the fact that james potter is just oddly surrounded by jewish people despite not being jewish ….. he loves us fr ……. like all of his closest friends are jewish save for peter 😭 its bc he’s hindu fr like that’s cousin

but my most important jewish marauders thought is that there is another world out there in which hogwarts is a jewish boarding school and i think it’s the timeline we all deserved ….❤️

[theinquisitxor]

April 2024 Reading Wrap Up

I read 6 books in April, which is honestly more than I thought I would get to at the beginning of this month. April's are historically slow reading months for me, and while this was another slower month, I'm happy with what I read. Audiobooks really saved me this month! I read 2 fantasy books, 3 nonfiction (who am I?) and 1 literary fiction.

1.The Book of Doors by Gareth Brown (3.5/5 stars) This was an anticipated new release for me, and I was very intrigued by the premise. This was enjoyable, but there were some things I didn't really care for. This was engaging and easy to read, and if you liked The Cartographers or The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, I think you'd like this. Adult low fantasy

2.The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny, and Murder by David Grann (4/5 stars) I really enjoy survival stories and seafaring stories, so I knew I was going to like this. The audiobook was great, and I liked how this was a shorter nonfiction. I'm not sure how much I like the narrative nonfiction that Grann writes in. Either way, this was a super engaging and entertaining read. Nonfiction audiobook

3.Atomic Habits by James Clear. I was not planning on reading this book in April, but I randomly go interested in it. Overall enjoyable, and interesting to see how we structure our lives around habits.

4.Who Cooked the Last Supper: The Women's History of the World by Rosalind Miles (4/5 stars) I read this 80s feminist nonfiction on audio, and while this could get pessimistic and difficult, I found it to be an engaging read with flashes of humor throughout. I would be interested to see what this book would be like published in the 2020s vs the 1980s. Nonfiction audiobook

5.The Bloody Throne (Hostage of Empire 3) by SC Emmett (5/5 stars) This was the fantastic conclusion to one of my favorite new series. Everything came together in this book and delivered an ending well worth the series. I wasn't sure how the series would end, but it was satisfying and bittersweet. I'm going to be talking about this series for a while. Adult fantasy

6. The Wall by Marlen Haushofer (4.5/5 stars) This is a translated dystopian fiction book about a women who is stuck behind a wall while the rest of the world as ended. She only has a cat, dog, and cow as her companions. She must learn to survive and cope with loneliness. I deeply enjoyed this novel, and found many passages that really stuck with me. Parts of this book got me very emotional.

That's it for April! I'm hoping for a strong reading month this May and summer!

May TBR:

The Familiar by Lehigh Bardugo

The Winners (Beartown 3) by Fredrik Backman

The Language of Trees: A rewilding of literature and landscape

Desert Solitare by Edward Abby

Brave the Wild River (nonfiction audiobook)

The Hedgewitch of Fox Hall by Ana Bright

Song of the Huntress by Lucy Holland

The Witch Collector by Charissa Weaks (my Random TBR Pick for May)

[thebibutterflyao3]

Day Twenty-Two - Poetry @sapphicmicrofics

April Daily Series - 769 words

<<<Previous Part OR Start Here

Dorcas wasn’t prepared to face her demons today. Particularly one with a broken nose and mischief in her eyes. She’d distracted herself with coordinating Lily and Pandora’s unpacking yesterday, but today there were only two boxes left and Marlene was roaming the flat like a lioness stalking prey. Everytime she turned around, Marlene was right there, in her way.

She didn’t have a legitimate reason to protest her presence, so Dorcas was plagued by The MenaceTM all morning while Regulus was off giving James a tour of SoHo and looking for poetry inspiration. Pandora and Lily were around, but deeply involved in some sort of sage-related conversation while they unpacked. Which is how she ended up hiding on the bench seat in her room with the window cranked open to smoke.

One more day. I just have to survive one more day.

Every hour in Marlene’s company weakened her resolve that much more. Hearing her stupidly sexy, raspy voice again triggered a torrent of memories of that same voice in her ear, either whispering soft declarations of love or poorly disguised innuendos to rile her up. There were an abundance of rows that her mind could have reminded her of too, but it chose to torture her instead.

“Dorcas?” Pandora called, knocking on the door. “Are you decent?”

“Yes.”

The door opened as Pandora briskly bustled inside with an armful of clothes. “Just set them on the bed, will you? This is the last of it.”

Dorcas glanced up at her words, then looked away as Marlene stepped inside. It tracked that The MenaceTm would find an excuse to invade her space here too. Marlene’s words outside the curry shop still taunted her.

This isn’t over. We’re far from done.

In the moment, a fanciful vision clouded her mind. One where Marlene moved back to London and swept her off of her feet all over again. Then, as she often did, Marlene dragged her back to reality by reminding her of how much Dorcas’s life had changed in the last year. She didn’t attend festivals filled with alcohol-fueled college students anymore, break-up fights between her friends, or even snog pretty girls in the pub.

I am respectable now. A consummate professional.

There was no room in her new life for rowdy hockey players with crooked smiles. Dorcas couldn’t risk losing everything that she’d worked so hard for on a whim. That’s all Marlene offered her, really. A distraction from her goals.

“I don’t think you’re going to fit all of this in that wardrobe,” Marlene said, heaving her pile of clothes on the bed.

Pandora hummed to herself as she considered the storage conundrum. “No, I suppose not. Dorcas? Can I put our formalwear in yours? We won’t be needing it often and it won’t crush your suits.”

“That’s fine,” Dorcas said, waving dismissively. “There’s room in the back.”

Amid the scuffle of hangers clacking together and a low conversation between the two, Marlene’s startled squawk caught her attention. Without turning to check, Dorcas already knew what she’d found. The box hidden in the furthest corner of her closet with not-so-forgotten relics of their time together.

“Oh, I don’t think we should open that,” Pandora said uncertainly. “Perhaps—”

Marlene huffed in annoyance as she rummaged through the box. “I thought I’d lost this jacket. You kept it?”

Dorcas remained silent and focused on the busy street below. She wasn’t ready to admit to burying her face in that worn-out denim jacket and sobbing for weeks after Marlene left. Nor was she prepared to discuss the obsessive care that she’d used to pack away every memento of their relationship, especially the album of photos that she’d painstakingly labelled with dates and locations. Photos that she and Marlene had taken of her, of them.

“Is this…” Marlene inhaled sharply. “It is.”

Pandora’s gasp and sudden descent into a giggling fit finally forced Dorcas to prop her chin on her own shoulder to survey the damage. Marlene was elbows deep in the box and staring at the bottom with wide-eyed awe. Her gaze lifted to meet Dorcas’s as she lifted the knotted scarlet ropes from the box.

“You don’t use them anymore?” she asked, her voice hoarse. “They were your favourite.”

Dorcas shrugged and returned to her bird’s eye view of the busy city she loved. “I haven’t wanted to.”

Pandora cleared her throat and promptly walked out of the room. The swish of her skirt and clinking bangles were comforting reminders of where she was. Of who she was now.

That was a whole lifetime ago.

Next Part>>>

[ashleigghh]

Day 14- Snowman. Dorlene with harry, dorcas & reg friendship, 1208 words

Dorcas is a notoriously light sleeper, she has to have thick black-out blinds, an eye mask, a heavy blanket and as little noise as physically possible to fall asleep. So, when her phone keeps beeping, over an hour before her alarm is set, she’s obviously annoyed. She pulls the mask up to the top of her head, grumbling some nonsense as she blindly reaches for her phone. Marlene stirs next to her, twisting in the blankets and folding a pillow over her ears. 

“This better be good.” Dorcas’ voice is still croaky with sleep and she rubs her eyes as she tries to rip herself out of the comfort of sleep.

“Sorry did I wake you?” Regulus asks, even though it’s clear he did, and Dorcas softens immediately, Regulus would never call like this unless it was an emergency so she can’t be mad at him, she never really is anyway.

“Hey Reg, what’s up?” Marlene’s head peeks up from behind her pillow, Regulus is known to be chronically unreachable, he’s on his phone more often than not but if you message him? You better pray for a miracle. 

“I’m really sorry to have to ask this but no one else is available,” Regulus is out of breath, and Dorcas can hear him encouraging Harry to put on his shoes.

“Don’t worry about it, what is it? Let me know what I can do to help.” Dorcas swings her legs out of bed, stretching them out as she speaks, prepared to sprint to Regulus’place if necessary. 

“Um, I don’t want to say it right now, I’m still processing but I need someone to look after Harry, and James, Lily and Mary are all at work today, I can’t get ahold of Peter or Pandora, and this involves Sirius too, so can you look after him for a few hours maybe?” Regulus is rambling, completely away from his normal calm composed self that it makes her worry. 

“Yeah, we’d love to take Harry for as long as you need,” Marlene gives her a thumbs up in confirmation, even though Dorcas already knew she’d agree, they love that boy and would do anything for him. 

“Ok, thank you, we’re leaving in a second so we’ll be there in about 20 minutes if that’s okay?” 

“That’s fine,” Dorcas stands up, already getting ready for the day, “And Reg,”

“Yeah?”

“Remember to breathe.” She hears him sigh deeply and feels a bit better knowing she managed to calm him even slightly. 

They get ready quickly, waiting with bated breath, they don’t know what’s going on, or what the two will be like when they show up. 

When there’s finally a knock on the door, Marlene practically dives for it, pulling it open to face them. She takes one look at Regulus' face and immediately looks back at Dorcas worriedly, she scoops Harry up, making plane noises as she ‘flies’ him into the other room. 

Regulus steps in, closing the door behind him, takes one look at Dorcas and promptly bursts into tears. Dorcas pulls him in close, letting him rest his head on her shoulder, not caring about the tears seeping into her shirt.

“It’s going to be okay,” Dorcas strokes his hair back soothingly, trying to calm him. “What happened?” Regulus pulls back from her, apologising and wiping his face as he tries to breathe. Dorcas gets him to match hers, reassuring him gently. They can hear Marlene and Harry playing in the next room and slowly Regulus calms down.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to come here and cry all over you, I’m imposing enough as it is.” Regulus shakes his arms out, trying to pull himself together. 

“Regulus, you’re my best friend, you’re not imposing, this is what I’m here for,” She smiles and smacks his arm gently in a friendly manner, “Now, tell me what’s up.” 

“My mother is dead. And I’m not sad about it but I am at the same time.” Dorcas knows all about Regulus’ relationship with his parents, she has a special hatred in her heart for them and wishes them the very worst. She isn’t going to say it to Regulus but she hopes Walburga’s death was painful, she didn’t deserve to go peacefully.

“You’re allowed to be confused by it. You can be sad, happy, angry, devastated or not feel anything at all, you don’t have to know how you feel at all.” Dorcas starts, trying to make sure Regulus is really hearing her, taking in the words fully. “When did you find out?” 

Regulus groans, burying his face in his hands, “Like an hour ago, I didn’t even react, just said okay, hung up and carried on making Harry pancakes, it wasn’t until I called you I even realised what had happened.” 

“Well, that’s okay too,” 

“I don’t think it is, I should’ve reacted, do you think I’m a bad person?” Regulus shakes his head before Dorcas can respond, “I need to go, sorry again, and thank you, I’ll see you soon,” He’s out the door before Dorcas even opens her mouth. She sends him a quick message, telling him she’s there for him and reassuring him that she doesn't think he’s a bad person. 

Harry peeks his head around the door, waving excitedly at Dorcas, “Where did Papa go?”

Dorcas walks over, crouching down in front of Harry, who doesn’t seem to have noticed anything strange going on, “He had to go deal with something, so you get a fun day with your Auntie Dorcas and Auntie Marlene!” She bops Harry on the nose and smiles, laughing when he giggles and returns the gesture. 

“Everything alright?” Marlene watches them with a smile, no concern visible to Harry, but Dorcas can tell she’s worried so she shakes her head discretely, not wanting to try and explain in front of Harry. He, however, is a very observant boy and peers between the two of them curiously. 

“Now, Harry,” Marlene crouches next to the two of them, where Harry stands between Dorcas’ arms in a small hug, “As our very special guest, what would you like to do today.”

This seems to please Harry, who immediately forgets his confusion or worry to bounce on the balls of his feet excitedly, pushing his glasses up with the palm of his hand. 

“Can we make a snowman!” Harry’s excitement is contagious, especially when the adult feels the same joy, so Marlene is immediately taken with the idea. “Papa said we’d make one but then he was sad, and he said we might not be able to anymore,”

“Well, how about you make one with us now, and then when you and your papa make one you can tell him how much better ours is.” Dorcas laughs, tickling Harry to make him forget his worries. He’s got Regulus’ worry, Lily’s compassion and Mary’s ability to pick up the smallest details but that's not enough to erase James’ attention span. 

“C’mon,” Marlene stands up and offers her hand to Harry who takes it, “let’s go pick out a scarf!” They run off down the hallway yelling and laughing and Dorcas watches them with a fond smile. Who would’ve thought a snowman could bring so much joy?

[dorlezzie]

draft #3; marauders x tlou

[marauders, the last of us au; 631 words] song; exit music (for a film) - radiohead

when she smiles, laughing at some joke james didn’t even hear, the ache in his chest starts consuming him again. a burning hole threatening to swallow him if he does not distance himself. because everytime, it’s not marlene he sees, but his son, his baby boy, his harry. harry’s gone since the beginning. it’s been fifteen years, but the empty space never left. the grief is still a painful process— as he did nothing to process it. actually, he had just bottled things up, refusing to admit the truth; he was dying inside. it felt as if he’d been missing a part of him, an arm, a leg, a lung. not really able to breathe right since he left. 

harry’s been taken from him so abruptly, james was never able to accept it. this night haunts him, the way it happened so fast. lily and him were already divorced; more because they didn’t have the same vision for the future, not because they did not love each other anymore. lily had moved to the city, she was such a talented painter, james’ house was still full of her works. he was his first supporter, and it did not end as their marriage.

harry was seven when the break happened; it was james’ week. harry was at school, james was at the cabinet and everything was perfectly normal. something he couldn’t even imagine anymore, couldn’t even fantasize. he’d just finished a consultation; a dog strangely agitated since the morning. it was the last one of the day, as he’d always arranged his agenda to get his son out of school. well, if he had to recall, james would say some events made him feel uneasy. a coworker not showing up, the radio recalling agitated foreign cities, a day full of animals acting strangely, snarling at their owner for no apparent reason— and james had learned to always trust their instinct. sirius had texted him, telling something was off. he had loads of colleagues calling in sick, and some acting weird. so when he went for harry, he was not surprised to see lily’s name on his phone. they were regularly talking, because he knew her since he was eleven and never intended on letting her go. she was still his best friend. something’s weird, james. people are agitated, she’d said. i’m on my way to get harry, he’d replied. do you think you could come here, just in case? i’m not finished ‘til seven. i’ll come by tomorrow morning, okay?  okay, love. take care, and call me if needed. 

this was their last conversation for months. 

everything got fucked up in the hours that followed. sirius and remus arrived in their pick-up in the middle of the night, the moment distress flares lit up the sky. as soon as they parked in front of the house, him and harry jumped in the car. his boy was scared, trembling and on the verge of tears. but he was doing so well, he’d been so brave in the surrounding chaos. “it’s okay, baby” he kept repeating, over and over again, stroking his hair in the back of the truck. “i’m here. you’re safe, my love” and harry believed him. james lied right to his face, because in the end, he failed to protect him. james closes his eyes, refusing to live through this again. so instead, he just glares at marlene, standing up and getting his bag; 

“we’re going” he tells her, without the shadow of a doubt in his voice. “i haven’t finished my chef boyardee!” she says with a snobby accent, stuffing the last raviolis in her mouth. 

harry used to do the exact same thing. putting as much as his mouth could take, before smiling disgustingly. marlene smiles. james turns around.

[mothbart]

Hey luv!! What are your fav marauders hcs? Feel free to go on for as much or as little as you’d like!!

oh my god YOOO ECHO you just opened up a can of worms. i'm gonna stick this under a read more because i have so many thoughts and feelings. and people may or may not agree with these and that's okay <3 these are just how i see everyone. this is so incredibly long and i do not expect anyone to read this lmfao

WE ARE STARTING OFF STRONG WITH JAMES.

-james potter is not a sunshine character. he is not all rainbows and happiness. james potter is a human being with a big fucking ego who thrives on attention. james potter hurts people intentionally sometimes. james potter knows how to hurt and he knows exactly what will really drive the knife through. james potter does things for others because it will benefit him in the long run sometimes. does that mean he's awful? NAH. he can still be funny and loyal to his friends and sweet and nice and an overall happy guy, but james potter is so much more complex than that and it makes me so sad when people just water him down to someone with a golden retriever personality.

-i love the idea of lily evans being blunt and a straight shooter. not enough to be a dick but enough to get her point across. she doesn't hesitate to tell someone what she wants, how she wants it, and when she wants it. she knows what she deserves and she'll do what she can to get that.

-i love how people paint marlene to be...loud? if that makes sense. like loud in the sense that her presence is known, like it's almost impossible to not see marlene. like my baby is full of life and personality and she is a true life of the party kinda gal and she knows it. mary is the exact same way. mary is giggly and free and does not give two shits about what people think of her. they're both hard workers even though everything just comes naturally to them.

-i don't think that regulus is always cold to the people he cares about. like i think that he's not afraid to show his friends/his partner that he cares about them and doesn't hide it. do i think that he would use his words? not necessarily. he shows them instead. he takes care of them. he'll do things like help sirius clean his house because he doesn't have the energy to do it himself. regulus will make james his favorite meal when he's had a bad day and isn't ready to talk about it yet. he'll pick up small trinkets at vintage stores that remind him of his friends and just toss it to them to show that he thought of them, etc.

-dorcas is ruthless. dorcas cares deeply and loves too hard and she will never hesitate to rally for those she cherishes. dorcas will defend and fight and the people around her admire those traits. she's smart and dedicated and she loves to learn new things and she'll always try things once, even if it's something she knows is completely illogical but because barty talked her into doing it once, she'll argue but she won't straight up say no.

-remus can be mean, but he chooses to always stay calm. he will never hurt anyone intentionally, and if he does hurt someone, he feels guilty. BUT he doesn't allow people to walk all over him either? if that makes sense? like he knows how to draw boundaries and he's not afraid to remind someone that they crossed them. he's not afraid to call out his friends for shitty behavior, like this man is KNOWN for humbling both sirius and james because they both enable bad behaviors with each other, and remus will sit there and remind them the consequences of their actions. it's not guaranteed that sirius and james will listen to him, but he'll keep doing it until one of them has that smack in the face that what they're doing is probably not the best. remus is like their conscience.

-peter. okay. specifically with peter, i imagine him like that kind of friend that will follow whatever the leader of the group (i feel like who the leader is kind of alternates mostly between james and sirius) wants. like if sirius and james do something that will have a negative consequence, peter will egg them on and enable them too but will act like he nothing to do with it if it blows up in their faces. he won't hesitate to throw his friends under the bus if it means that he's safe from any consequences.

-sirius <3 okay listen. i am very much a strong believer that sirius is loud. he makes himself known. when he walks into a room, attention is on him and he knows it. he basks in it, but there will be times where he doesn't want any of it. sirius does things on a whim. he's impulsive, reckless, he lashes out, he self-sabotages and he's aware of it. he can be manipulative and he knows when to be. but he also has a big heart. he cares so much about his friends and regulus and he will bend over backwards for them and do anything he can to protect them. even if they've pissed him off in some way, he'll hold it against them but that doesn't mean that he won't help them if they needed it.

-BARTY. look. we all know kolowv and if that doesn't explain barty crouch jr then i don't know what does. because kolowv is my literal barty. he's sarcastic, he's funny, he's gone through it, he has a hard time accepting help and will only allow it if it's literally shoved in his face and he can't get out of it. he cares about the people closest to him and he'll fuckin go to bat for them. he's inappropriate in every possible way you can think of at the worst times possible but also when he's aware that it's needed. he knows the consequences of his actions and to be quite frank, he doesn't give a shit. i think that he can also be awkward and he's very quick with his wit.

-evan and pandora. evan is quieter than pandora, always has been and always will. they work as a team, they will never work against each other. pandora is evan's piece of mind, and evan is pandora's. evan reminds pandora to quit being such a fuckin pushover and that she's not a doormat while pandora reminds evan that it's okay to openly show that he cares about people. evan is more shut off than pandora, he's not really a "talk about their feelings" kind of person but pandora does her best to encourage him, and sometimes he listens. did i mention that pandora is actually a yapper because she is. and evan will listen to whatever his sister has to say, even if it's her talking about her favorite animal.

okay i think....that's all i have so far...anyway if anyone actually read all of that thanks and im sorry for the novel <3

[sadcatinapartyhat]

Dorcas Meadowes headcanons developed (mostly) in the void

Hey Marauders Tumblr! I'm pretty new here, but I've seen people making lists like this of their headcanons, and as somebody who has never really interacted with fanon, I thought it would be interesting to share some of mine to see how they compare to what other people have come up with. I’ve had these for years, and my inspiration for them was literally just a few pieces of art on Pinterest (so, interestingly, the ways in which my headcanons are most similar to popular fanon tend to be in the characters’ appearances), the canon books, and my own overactive imagination. I'm starting with Dorcas, because from what little I've gathered she, Marlene, and Mary seem to be the characters for whom my interpretations are the most different from what's already out there (although it's fascinating how close they actually are sometimes).

Please do lmk what you think!!! I've put the list below the cut so as not to annoy people who just want to scroll ↓↓↓

First things first: like I said, I developed these before interacting with fanon much, so I am a Gryffindor Dorcas truther (I know a lot of people have her in Slytherin now, sorry 🙃)

“The weird and offputting one” (said with love)

One sibling. A brother, two years older, in Ravenclaw

Intelligent and creative. Would have been in Ravenclaw with her brother, but adamantly refused, as at the age of 11 she found him deeply irritating and could not stand to be in his presence

Very emotionally level. Difficult to excite, difficult to anger, difficult to deeply wound

Fatal flaw: stubbornness

Patronus: tiger 🐯

Acquired something of a reputation for casual meanness throughout her school years (though, importantly, not for cruelty). It wasn’t that she didn’t always think before she spoke; rather, it was that she cared more about what she thought than the feelings of those around her

Fashion-adventurous. As a child, enjoyed bright colours, patterns, and loose cuts; as an adult, enjoyed black, jewel tones, and artfully distressed items (would likely have enjoyed the goth subculture, but alas, ‘twas after her time)

Mastered colour-changing spells in third year so she could match the beads in her braids with her outfit, nail polish, and mood

Along with James and Lily, one of the few amongst her friends to have a happy upbringing

Would have done well in art school (mixed-media sculpture)

Did not dream of labour. Worked occasionally as a professional duellist, and won nearly all of her matches when she did, but devoted most of her time to the Order and her portraiture (which she hoped to one day make a living from, though she was unwilling to sacrifice her abstract, vivid style to satisfy her more traditional customers)

Genuinely confident in herself from an early age, including in her sexuality (asexual biromantic) (because gosh darn it this fandom needs some ace rep)

Figured the ace part out when she kissed her first boyfriend and hated it, but still wanted to know his mind and hold his hand; figured the biromantic part out when Marlene went on a date with her first boyfriend (which, in Marlene’s case, was comphet) and Dorcas also hated it

Confessed her feelings to Marlene straight away when she realised, but only to get it off her chest; never expected her feelings to be returned. Proceeded to date around a bit, and was pleasantly surprised a short while later :)

Had one Muggle grandmother, with whom she was very close. Passed away the summer between Dorcas’s fifth and sixth years (just after Dorcas received an ‘O’ on her Muggle Studies O.W.L.)

Took the maximum four out of five supplemental subjects after second year, mostly because a Ravenclaw bet she wouldn’t

Proposed to Marlene the night of James and Lily’s wedding, privately, in a dark corner of the dance floor after the newlyweds had left

Siouxsie and the Banshees #1 fan. Tragically too busy avenging her recently-murdered fiancée to listen to Juju, although she did hear “Spellbound” once or twice on the radio

Also an enjoyer of the B-52s

Anyway...I think about my version of Dorcas a lot (could you tell lol), and I'm pretty invested in these headcanons because they form the basis of her characterisation in the fanfiction I write, so I probably won't be changing my mind anytime soon, but it's always fun to hear what other people think! Seriously, please let me know :)

[ayoooo3]

A Little StarChaser Story

Fandom: Marauders

Relationship(s): StarChaser, (very) background WolfStar

Trope: Enemies to Lovers, Idiots in Love

******************

He hated that man. Truly. Deeply with every fiber of his being. He had from almost the very moment JP Jewelers had opened up directly across from his own store at the Promenade. He honestly couldn’t understand why James Potter was even in the jewelry business at all. He certainly didn’t understand why James insisted on “popping over to check his sales” every day or so, smug smile plastered on his face as he let his fingers trace along Regulus’ own jewelry displays. Like this was some game they were playing, James leaning close and asking if the titanium bands were selling, asking if he was donating the merchandise from what he assumed was a vast personal collection, treating Regulus’ business like his personal stage to perform in. Regulus hated the way James moved through the space like he belonged there, hated the way he’d smile and say “Later Reggie!” as he waltzed back out the door and back to his own shop.

For his part James loved Regulus. Or at least loved to get under his skin. Had from the moment he saw him while he was touring open store fronts. His serious expression and down turned lips tracking James and the mall rep as they discussed prices. James had delighted when Regulus stalked over to make sure they understood that putting a jewelry store directly across from his own was a terrible business decision for all involved. He had been positively giddy when Regulus leveled a glare at him when he responded with a smile and a glib “oh I don’t know, might be fun, a little friendly competition to keep us all on our toes.” James didn’t understand Regulus, why he kept everything so serious, why he seemed to refuse to enjoy life, why he wouldn’t just let James in a little bit. James didn’t understand him, but that didn’t stop him from continuing to needle Regulus anytime he had the chance.

The Holidays brought out the best and worst in them. Last year, the first year they were both open, they had spent weeks trying to one up each other with sales and deals, their respective signs containing barely hidden references to the other’s store. The rivalry enough to bring the local news their way to “report” on the holiday jewelry hijinks, and Regulus had been loathe to admit that it did drive sales, for both shops, just the way James had insisted it would. This year the interest, and the chaos seemed to double, customers seeking out both shops to see who would outdo the other, to take pictures of their signs and watch as James and Regulus snarked back and forth from their counters.

Regulus is exhausted, and frustrated, why couldn’t James just leave him be? The sales were nice, but having James’ attention on him was starting to wear him thin. He needed a break, so when Sirius approached him and tells him that he stealing him away for a brothers night at a small cafe his friend Marlene owns, Regulus doesn’t think twice about grabbing his coat and following his brother down the street.

James is exhausted as well, but elated, the energy of the holidays buzzing through him to the point that he’s probably going to burn out if he’s not careful. His brain is going a mile a minute as he walks with Remus across town to grab a late night bite to eat, Remus murmuring quietly beside him as James recounts his day in minute detail. James barely even has time to react as they push through the door and he finds himself face to face with Regulus, the first time he’s seen him outside the shop, his eyes darting around the room and slotting puzzle pieces together quickly.

“Wait… Regulus is Reg?! Your Reg?” James blurts out, glancing at Sirius who is now wrapped up in Remus’ arms.

“Oh for fucks sakes Siri. James is Remus’ friend Jamie? Unreal. Why am I just now learning this?” Regulus looks like he might walk right out of the cafe, or cry, or both to be honest.

“Right, well… we’re tired of hearing the two of you complain about each other. I had figured you guys would have worked yourselves out by now, but you seemed determined to stay enemies and we won’t have it. So… good luck, try not kill each other, enjoy the food Marls left out for you, we’ll see you later.”

Both James and Regulus stared as Sirius dramatically swept out the door, Remus giving them one last look before saying “for real you guys, talk your shit out, get to know each other, maybe kiss a little” and tossing a wink at them before closing the door behind him.

And if Sirius and Remus happened to peak back through the window a few hours later to find James’ hands tangled in Regulus’ hair and Regulus comfortable in James lap… well that’s nobody’s business but their own. Perhaps this holiday season will be a little happier after all.

[hinnyfied]

Some Order era Jily!

Thanks for the suggestion! I meant to answer this with a drabble or ficlet and ended up with a one-shot instead lol!

I've got it on AO3 or below. :)

Lily was 18 years old when she lost her father. As she stood in his bedroom a few weeks later, overwhelmed by the piles of stuff on the bed and empty cardboard boxes on the floor, the only remotely comforting thought she could muster was that he was at peace with her mother now. He had been so very lonely these last few years with Mum gone, Petunia off in London, and Lily at Hogwarts.

The guilt of her prolonged absences following her mother’s death started to creep up, threatening to eat her alive, but she couldn’t go to pieces, not now. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, breathing deeply, then grabbed the box nearest to her and started piling books inside. She knew it would be faster with magic, but even with Petunia working separately down in the kitchen, Lily didn’t dare take her wand out. It had been hard enough getting along through funeral planning and working through the logistics of settling Dad’s affairs.The last thing she needed as they worked to sever the last, fragile thread that tied them to one another was a row about her abnormality.

Downstairs, she could hear the clanking of pots and pans as Petunia organised the cookware in solitude. Vernon and James were in the back garden, working on clearing out the old tool shed. They had both seemed rather reluctant to admit that it was a two-person job, but Lily was grateful that they set their feelings aside to work on it together.

Lily had yet to pack up her own room and move out, though it wasn’t for lack of options. Following her father’s accident, several friends had reached out to offer not only their condolences, but a place for her to stay until she found a place of her own. Even Sirius had suggested she take the spare room in his flat. The thought of being flatmates with him had struck her as such a ridiculous idea that his offer had actually been the first thing to make her laugh again after Dad’s death. Of course, the laughter hadn’t lasted long. She nearly immediately burst into tears and hugged him tightly.

“Is that a yes, Evans?”

“Absolutely not,” she had responded with a watery chuckle. “Thank you, though. It means a lot.”

“Probably for the best. I don’t need to start finding long red hairs tangled up in my–”

In the end, it was Marlene who she was planning to stay with for a while. Her flat only had one bedroom, but Lily was more than happy with a spot on the couch if it meant not waking up in her parents’ quiet, empty house every morning. Besides, it was only temporary; after the sale of the house, she’d be able to move into her own place.

The pile of books was nearly all packed now, but as she reached for the last one, her heart sank. It was Gulliver’s Travels – her father’s favourite book. He must have read it at least a couple dozen times, and judging by the bookmark that sat near the back of it, he had almost finished doing so again. Tears prickled at the corner of Lily’s eyes, brought on by the realisation that he would never finish it again.

Lily held the book tightly to her chest, hugging it as if it would somehow feel like hugging Dad. Ultimately she put the book not in the box for donations, but in her bag. She couldn’t bring herself to part with it.

“The shed is all taken care of,” came James’ soothing voice from the doorway. Lily wiped her eyes and looked up at him.

“You and Vernon didn’t kill each other then?”

“No,” James said with a tiny, temporary smile. “Wouldn’t complain about a break from him though. Do you want some help up here?”

Lily looked around the room, taking in the sheer volume of items that remained to be packed, all the pieces of Dad waiting to be shoved into a box and sent away. She wanted to answer James, to tell him she didn’t need help demolishing the remnants of her father’s life, but she was afraid that if she were to attempt to speak, she’d unleash her grief in full force and be reduced to nothing more than a puddle on the old rug beneath her feet.

James seemed to understand, walking over to her without another word and pulling her into a warm embrace. Tears leaked out from Lily’s eyes, settling into his shirt as he rubbed her back.

“Marlene’s going to get so sick of me, moping and weeping all over the place,” Lily said with a sad laugh as she pulled away from James and wiped away her tears.

“First of all,” James said both tenderly and sternly. “You’re not moping. You’re grieving, as you are well within your right to do.”

“Secondly,” he continued “I’ve been thinking about your living arrangement.”

“Have you?”

He didn’t answer her right away. James was usually one to blurt out his thoughts and feelings, especially to Lily, to have an idea or a whim and immediately want to tell her about it. It was peculiar, the way he was looking at her now, as though he were thinking very carefully and deliberately about what he was about to say.

“I don’t think you should move in with Marlene. I know she’s your best mate, but a couch is not a home, Lily. You’ll give yourself back problems for one thing.”

His concern was rather sweet.

“Well I’m certainly not moving in with Padfoot, if that’s where this is going,” she smirked.

“Having shared a dormitory with him for seven years, I think that’s very wise of you.”

There was that look again – the tentative, serious, not-at-all-James-Potter face.

“I want you to move in with me,” he finally said.

That was not what Lily had expected. James lived at Potter Cottage with his parents. Monty and Effie were wonderfully kind, and Lily had grown to love them very much in the year that she and James had been together, but they were a touch old-fashioned.

“You think your parents are going to be ok with two unmarried teenagers shacking up in their house?”

“Not exactly,” James said with a soft smile. “They are, however, more than happy to have you move into one of the spare bedrooms. There’s the one at the end of the hall that has its own attached bathroom, so you’d really have your own space.”

Lily nodded, taking in the offer. She had always felt at home at the Potters’, who had embraced her from the first moment she set foot in their home. She thought she ought to feel far more apprehensive than she did. Surely, she should be fretting about whether she and James would break up and how awkward that would be – moving out of his parents house. She should worry, but frankly, it didn’t worry her one bit.

“Even if you don’t live with us,” James continued, keen to fill the silence, “I’d want you to be at the house a lot anyway, you know, dinners and holidays and all that. You’re my family, and my parents think of you that way too.”

Lily’s heart swelled, and her throat felt unexpectedly thick. Her family had slowly disintegrated before her eyes; her sister’s condemnation, her mother’s illness, her father’s accident. She had feared she’d be left with no family at all in the end, but as she looked into James’ hazel eyes, full of love for her, she felt a glimmer of hope.

“Ok,” she managed. “If you’re sure they don’t mind.”

James beamed at her. “Not at all. They love you. Not as much as I do, of course, but they’re close.”

It was comforting, Lily thought as she and James kept working on the bedroom, the idea of waking up every morning in a house full of people who loved her. She would never fully recover from the loss of her parents, but she took solace in the fact that there was still family to be found – in James and the Potters, in their friends, in the Order. Perhaps even a few children of their own someday, their own little family.

Lily’s heart still ached as she started packing up her father’s jumpers, but it felt the tiniest bit easier to breathe.