#janitor au

[twst-drabbles]

Malleus 11

Summary: You offered Malleus your lap as a joke after Grim’s tantrum. Malleus accepted the offer.

(It’s been on my mind and I felt this would’ve been so funny to have as an option. I want to hold. I want to spoil.)

“Nah, it’ll be too crowded. I want to sit here!” Grim demanded, smacking his paws on the table. You had half a mind to flick his forehead to get him to behave, but honestly, you’re in the mood for some fun.

“Well, in that case,” you leaned back in your chair, catching Malleus’s ever intense stare with ease, “Hornton, how about you sit on my lap instead? Grim clearly doesn’t want to sit on it.”

You meant that entirely as a joke. Mozus knew of your usual antics, so his reaction was a mild stiffening of his shoulders and a world weary sigh. Truly, you must be a most tiring janitor to deal with.

Azul, however, choked up on his spit and pounded on his chest to clear it up. Idia sputtered and upon realizing he made way louder noises than usual, shrank into himself and nearly vanished under his collar. Silver was more or less stone still, like you slapped him awake. And Sebek?

His hand immediately went to his sword, clearly ready to fight for ‘His Lord’s’ honor, if his thunderous face was of any indication.

“Y-you! How dare–!” The crack in his voice almost made you lose it.

“Ho… Aren’t you a bold one?” He practically purred out your name, “Are you ready to deal with the consequences if I accept the offer?”

…that’s not a rejection. Oh shit, that is not a rejection. Fuck, now you gotta commit to the bit! If you back out now, you’re gonna be the asshole for offering in the first place.

That and as much as you enjoy Malleus’s presence, if you take back the offer, he’s going to chide you like you’re a fickle and impulsive kid. That treatment will just grate on you and it will ruin your whole day. You hate it when that pops out, that worldview of fae being superior to humans, and therefore should be cared for like children.

So, to avoid that entire headache, you pushed back to make more room and patted your thighs with a sharp smile.

“Go on ahead, my lap can take it.”

You heard a dying wheeze come from Idia and a nervously laughing Azul.

Malleus laughed along with him, loud and joyful. He placed a hand on the back of your chair and managed to calm himself enough to say, “In that case, I accept.”

Grim gave a cheer at his free seat and Malleus graced his legs over your thighs before settling quite comfortably on them. He straightened his back, as though sitting on a very well crafted throne. Malleus was practically sparkling as he put a hand on his chin, little chuckles escaping him as he let himself enjoy this atmosphere.

You can’t say you weren’t enjoying yourself, though you do hate that you put yourself into this can of worms. Oh well, it’s not the worst. You’re comfortable and that’s enough.

Just for a bit of revenge, you wrapped an arm around Malleus’s waist and pulled him in closer.

The light, “Oh!” escaping his lips had you smiling.

[puff00n]

Base on this AU piece by @twst-drabbles

Crowley: *breathes the wrong way*

Janitor Yuu:

[xxxtoony-brosxxx]

After who knows how long, more Jan art, bleh

[theprofessionalpromptmaker]

National Career Coach Day & National JoyGerm Day

Person A is cursed that their emotions are contagious to those around them, no matter how hard they try to hide what they’re truly feeling, it rubs off on other people. Which means Person A struggles to hold jobs because whenever their around too many people, their emotions can affect everyone around them. Person B is their career coach who tries to help them get jobs where they can be fairly isolated from others, but since Person A struggled academically due to their curse they don’t have many qualifications to allow them to work from home, and so Person B manages to find them a job working as a night janitor at the office Person B works at. Person B is someone who stays late, but otherwise it’s fairly deserted. Person B ends up mentioning after a few months of Person A working that they always feel more relaxed whenever Person A is around.

[in-my-loki-feels]

I can't stop thinking about pairing this guy:

with this guy:

Just something about the absolute goofball energy of the first, running into the megalomaniac energy of the second. I feel like President Loki would be all "I am here to rule and nothing's going to stop me!" and the Mobius variant would be confused but on board and also distracted by a dish on another table: "Oh yeah? Cool, cool, tell me more. Hey, are you going to eat that?"

ETA: I ended up writing a short thing for this idea. Adding a link here in case the one in the reblogs isn't obvious. 💚

[oneforthemunny]

santa claus is comin' to town |janitor!eddie munson x teacher!reader|

prompt: oliver's first christmas with you and eddie, since the adoption, is off to a not so great start. luckily, eddie knows exactly how to make both your spirits bright <3

read the entire janitor!eddie and teacher!reader series here!

contains: parents eddie and reader. oliver is adopted by you and eddie. past talk of parent trauma and neglect. a little angsty, a lot fluffy <3

“Ollie, look,” You nodded, pulling the young boy’s attention to the center of the mall, right outside the food court, settled in mounds of fake snow and twinkling snowflake lights was Santa’s Village. Children of all ages jumped with excitement, giddy at the chance to tell the man at the end perched on a red velvet throne, what they desperately wanted for Christmas. Their parents handing over wads of cash for a photo, a framed memory they could cherish for years. 

This was the first year you and Eddie would get the chance.

“Do you want to go see Santa?” You asked, grinning down at him with a smile so bright, it rivaled the lights around you. 

Oliver didn’t match your excitement. Instead he looked over solemnly, head shaking in a sad bob that had your stomach plummeting. “No, ‘s okay.” Oliver shrugged. 

You blinked, looking up at the lines. “It’s ok if you do.” You pressed gently, a soft smile to reassure him. He was still getting used to you and Eddie paying for everything, still skittish about it even after the judge made you his legal guardians. “I can go with you, if you want. I just want to make sure you tell Santa so he can get you what you want.” 

Oliver shook his head again, bottom lip jutting gently, small enough to have your face dropping in worry. “No, it’s ok.” He shook his head. “Santa never comes to my house anyways. I don’t think he knows about me, or he forgets.” 

“What do you mean, honey?” Your voice was strained with emotion, trying desperately to stay level, not to sound upset though your stomach was twisting in the most painful way. 

Oliver looked up at you through long, dark lashes. “He never came to my house.” He muttered, a tiny huff of a sigh that made you want to sob. “I’d always send him the letters at school, but he never came.” 

You felt every ounce of his disappointment, bore it heavy on your heart. Your throat constricted, unable to find the right words. What did you say to that? What could you say to make it better? You didn’t know, so instead you nodded, squeezing his hand gently, stopping for a cookie at the small corner kiosk and heading towards the music store Eddie was at. The once cheery, festive music felt mocking now, playing through the speakers. 

Eddie stood by the counter, strumming the newly repaired string of his guitar to test it. His face lit up, excited to show you how they’d fixed it, how much better it sounded now with a proper tune up. Instead, his smile fell. 

“Hey,” Eddie muttered, hand running over Oliver’s locks, ruffling them in an affectionate greeting that had him giggling. “What’s goin’ on?” 

You didn’t meet his gaze, swallowing the burning bile that rose in the back of your throat, eyes downcast towards Oliver. “Hey, you alright?” Eddie muttered, his hand touching yours, calloused thumb gliding across your knuckles. “Somethin’ happen?” 

“No,” He knew you were lying, your voice tight the way it was when something was wrong. “Did you get it fixed?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie frowned, scanning your features carefully. “Are you sure-” 

“-Can I go look at the CDs?” Oliver pointed towards the aisles of CDs, hand gently pulling yorus for attention. 

You nodded. “Stay towards the front, ok? Where we can see you. If you can’t see us-” 

“-Then you can’t see me.” Oliver grinned. “I will.” He chirped, giddily skipping over to the CDs. Somehow, his innocent happiness made your heart break more. 

“Hey, look at me, baby.” Eddie muttered, knuckle brushing under your chin lightly, pulling your gaze into his. “What’s’a matter? What’s wrong?” 

You pressed your lips together to stop the shake you felt coming. “I, uh, I asked Ollie if he wanted to see Santa. Tell him what he wanted for Christmas so we could get an idea for him.” Your gaze wandered to the small boy, on his tiptoes to flick through the CDs in the rock section- the ones he was starting to favor since listening with Eddie. 

“He said,” You swallowed, voice quivering with emotions that you were trying your best to keep in. “He said Santa never visited him, Eddie. He thinks he forgets him every year.” 

Eddie watched your face crumble, turning away to try and compose yourself. His own heart dropping. Rushes of his own childhood, the hope that maybe this year Santa would visit if he stole the Borden’s lights, threw them up on his roof instead so Santa could see. He even kept his light on so Santa would know he was home, but still, he never came. 

Until he stayed with Wayne. 

“Does he,” Eddie ducked, eyes cutting around the store. “He still, like, believes in him and all that?” 

You paused, brows furrowing lightly. “Yeah, I mean, I think he does-” 

“-I got it.” Eddie nodded, finality in his tone. “I got it, baby. Don’t worry.” 

“Ed, wait, just-” You stopped him, eyes cutting to Oliver. “You can’t make him, ok? If he doesn’t want to, then we should respect that.” 

“I’m not gonna make him, baby.” Eddie smiled softly. “I got it, ok. You trust me?” You nodded slowly. You did trust Eddie, in every way with everything. 

“Then let me handle this, alright? Don’t worry about it.” Eddie pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, squeezing your hip lovingly, walking back to the counter to gather his guitar. 

“Hey, Ollie, gotta ask you somethin’, little guy.” Eddie hummed, strumming his guitar, tongue poked out in concentration. 

Oliver was in front of him, mindlessly playing with his own action figures while Eddie practiced, flipping Spider-Man off the couch cushions and launching him over the coffee table with pure childlike imagination. “Yeah?” 

Eddie watched him carefully, trying to play it cool, easy- not to scare the kid. “Mama told me something,” The beloved name you’d adorned before the papers went through. Eddie had christened you with it happily, grinning at the way it made you gleam when he’d call you it. “Said you didn’t want to see Santa.” 

Oliver stopped, action figure hanging in midair, eyes wide like he’d been caught doing something wrong. “Yeah.” Oliver said quietly. Eddie knew he was trying to read his tone, see if he was mad or upset. 

Eddie smiled at him softly, playfully throwing a hand out to him. “Dude, why?” He grinned. “You gotta tell the big man what you want for Christmas.” 

Oliver’s head lowered, dragging the plastic feet of the superhero across the coffee table. “Santa doesn’t come to visit me.” He mumbled. “He never has.” 

Eddie tried not to let his face falter. He knew it was coming, and it still hurt. Instead, he tried to remember what Wayne said, exactly how he’d said it and convinced him years ago when he was in Ollie’s shoes, hurt and disappointed. 

“He didn’t?” Eddie cocked his head to the side. Oliver shook his head, face falling. “That’s weird.” Eddie quipped, lips twisting in thought. He could feel Oliver’s eyes on him curiously, he wanted to play it up for him. “You know, I bet you’re not registered.” 

Oliver blinked. “Registered?” 

“Yeah, your parents,” Eddie cringed at the mention. “You, uh, you have to register everyone to Santa. There’s a lot of kids in the world, and he can lose count sometimes. If you move or if you have more kids, anything, you gotta get them registered so he’ll know. Kinda like attendance, y’know?” It wasn’t nearly as smooth as when Wayne did it, much more rambling, but Oliver’s eyes lit up. 

“You do?” Oliver asked, setting Spider-Man down completely. 

“Oh, yeah.” Eddie nodded, setting his own guitar down on the stand. “I’ve been meaning to call anyways, make sure they were sending me a form down so I could let them know that you’re here now. Let me just call really quick.” 

Oliver followed him, close on Eddie’s heels into the kitchen, where you were cutting carrots for the soup. “Hey, babe,” Eddie called, opening the junk drawer by the sink. “Have you seen the phone book?” 

“The phone book?” You frowned, turning to look over your shoulder at them. “It should be under the coffee table.” 

“No, the one for the North Pole.” Eddie muttered, eyes lifting to yours, shooting you a wide eyed look. 

You paused, tracking his sharp side eyed glance to Oliver, who’s eyes were wide and hopeful, hanging on Eddie’s every word. “Oh,” You squeaked. “Um, I think I put it in the address book in my purse.” 

Eddie fumbled through the contents of your bag, swiping the floral printed contact book with a sloppy grin. “Ah, found it.” He muttered, tongue poking out when he thumbed through the names and numbers. 

“Can I see?” Oliver asked, rising on his tip-toes to look over the edge of the book. 

“Hey, no way, c’mon.” Eddie shook his head. “Santa only gives it to parents. So we can call when you’ve been bad, or when we move and stuff. Can’t give it out or he’ll be mad.” 

Oliver hesitated, scanning Eddie’s face carefully. He was a little suspect, but Eddie said it so confidently, it was hard not to be convinced- hell, you were convinced, listening with careful amusement from the kitchen. 

Eddie pulled the phone off the hook, dialing the number with a covered hand, winking over at Oliver playfully. The line rang and rang and rang, until-

“Hello?” 

“Hi, this is Eddie- sorry, Edward Munson.” Eddie said cheerfully into the phone, just like he would talking to a customer service rep. “I was needing to talk to someone about registering a new house to Santa’s route.” 

There was a pause, the rustling of the line on the other end. “Eddie, what the fuck- are you high?” Dustin Henderson’s confused voice rang from the other end. 

Eddie grinned, jaw clenching at annoyance he tried to hide. Thankfully, Oliver didn’t seem to notice, eyes shining with awe at the phone call. “Yeah, we were just needing to talk to someone about registering our house for Santa to stop at.” Eddie’s tone was clipped behind feigned cheerfulness. “We have Oliver living here now, and we wanted to get the form sent.” 

“Eddie, what-” Dustin laughed on the other end. “Are you messing with me? You’re messing with me.” 

“Yeah, just a second-” Eddie covered the phone, leaning towards Oliver. “Ollie, can you grab my wallet? By the bed?” 

Oliver nodded, scampering down the hall. Eddie waited before turning, cradling the phone close to his mouth. “Henderson, play the fuck along, ok? I told Oliver I was calling the North Pole.” 

Dustin laughed, a loud cackle of a laugh, full belly and entertained. “Why? What are you doing-” 

“-Because Santa has never visited him.” Eddie hissed lowly, ceasing Dustin’s laughter. “And I am trying to get the registration form just to make sure we get added on Santa’s route, so Santa will be sure to visit us this year.” Eddie’s tone lifted, changing instantly back to that cheery tone he had before when Oliver ran in. 

“Thanks, bud.” Eddie grinned, taking the wallet. “Just my license number?” He hummed, flicking it open. 

“Eddie, I’m-I’m sorry, man. I thought you were messin’ with me-” 

“-Yeah, it’s W23-016.” Eddie cut the other man off through gritted teeth. “And it’s Oliver Munson. He’s eight, and his new address is 172 Azalea Lane in Hawkins, Indiana.” 

The line was silent. “What do you want me to do here, Eddie? Like pretend-” 

“Yeah, if you can send the form here, that would be great.” Eddie fought back an eye roll. He should’ve called Steve. “And my wife wanted me to ask, can Oliver go see Santa now and tell him what he wants, or should he wait until after we mail the form back?” 

“Uh, now? Is that what you want me to say? Dude, why didn’t you call me before so I could prepare-” Dustin huffed. 

“Great. We’ll get that filled out, and we’ll go next weekend.” Eddie smiled over at Oliver, heart swelling with warmth over the irritation he felt. “Thanks so much for your help, Nog. Have a good one.” 

“Oh, wow, use my ninth grade dwarf name. Real mature-” Eddie didn’t wait to hear the rest of Dustin’s whining, slapping the phone on the receiver. 

Oliver was bouncing, practically exploding with anticipation and excitement. You thought your heart might burst at the sight. “They’re sending it over.” Eddie clapped his hands. “Told you it was easy, Ollie. They said you just have to sign something when it comes, and we can send it back off to the North Pole, and can go see Santa next week.” 

“Wow,” Oliver beamed, smiling at you. “Thank you.” He muttered, barreling into Eddie’s side, squeezing his thighs in a tight, loving hug.

“You’re welcome, bud.” Eddie smiled, patting his head affectionately. “Can you go put my guitar back in the garage? In the case, please? Make sure to fasten it.” 

Eddie waited until Oliver was running back into the living room to slide over to you. Your eyes shining with adoration, awe. “That was the sweetest thing I think I’ve ever seen, Ed.” You muttered, arms wrapping around his torso. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so in love with you in my whole life.” 

“C’mon,” Eddie blushed, rocking you gently, a half stepped sway. “Not gonna let the kid have a bad Christmas.” 

“How did- How did you even come up with that?” You blinked, chin resting against his chest. “That was genius.” 

“Well, gotta give credit to Wayne.” Eddie shrugged. “He, uh, he did it first. When I came to live with him the first time after my mom passed. Dad hadn’t got me a gift since she died, too fucked up to remember the whole Santa thing. So Wayne told me it was because he forgot to register my house after we moved. I believed it. Made me feel better thinkin’ my dad just forgot to register the house, instead of forgettin’ me, y’know?” Eddie muttered, voice dropping lowly. 

Your heart ached in the most uncomfortable way, squeezing him tighter into your chest. “It was sweet.” You whispered, arms circling around his waist, pressing a kiss to the soft fabric of his t-shirt, right over his heart. It made him flush with heat. “Thank you for that.” 

“Baby, do you have construction paper?” Eddie asked, sliding into your classroom. It was still early, the sun just barely lifting into the grayed Indiana morning sky, frost still fogging at the windows. 

“Um, in the cabinet in the red drawer.” You pointed to the arts and crafts area, neatly organized safety scissors and crayons tucked away. “What are you doing?” 

“I got this idea last night. Ollie’s real excited-” Eddie paused, scanning the classroom for the little boy. 

“He went down to the gym with Mrs. Bronski.” You waved it off lightly, passing out the morning activity papers to each of the spots. “Excited about what?” 

“Excited about Santa this weekend.” Eddie muttered, flipping through the stack of construction paper, shimmying out a sheet of red and green. “Anyways, I got this idea about making the form. I found these letter stamps and ink pads in the art room, asked Lois if I could borrow them and she’s letting me. I think it’d be better printed like that so it look more legit, ya know?” 

You beamed, smiling brightly under the fluorescent lights of the classroom, making Eddie’s heart skip. “Yeah, that’s- that’s really sweet, Ed.” 

Eddie paused, shoulder’s tensing slightly, that familiar wide eyed, scared look creeping into his features. “You- It’s stupid, isn’t it?” He asked, voice tight. “I, fuck- sorry- I just, I dunno I thought it would be cool. Better than… It doesn’t matter. That was too much, I’m sorry, I just got excited-” 

“Eddie, what?” You lifted a brow, tone steady and calm, like it always was when he’d spin out like this. “Ed, I think that’s a great idea. I think it’s really sweet, and I think Ollie will love it.” 

Eddie scanned your features, looking for any reason not to believe you- a quirk in your lips, a blink that felt off, anything. “Are you sure? It’s not… too much?” 

“You think I’d judge you for doing too much?” You tilt your head to the side playfully. “I’m jealous I didn’t think of it because it’s perfect, Eddie. All of it. You’re just,” Your breath hitched, heart fluttering at the sight of him. “You’re just a really good dad, and it makes me so inexplicably happy that I get to be with you. Watch you be a good dad, and a good husband, and just be with you. I’m so happy with you.”  

Eddie blushed, cheeks reddening at your words. If you weren’t in school, the looming threat of HR surrounding you, he’d push you up against the poster board, make out with you right there. 

“Thank you.” Eddie muttered instead, looking down at his work boots, cheeks burning with the praise. “I, uh, I- yeah, I feel the same way, y’know. About you, and you’re a good mom- the best mom.” You rolled your eyes bashfully, grabbing his hand, squeezing it softly. 

“Hey, lovebirds,” Steve grinned, head ducking in your doorway. Eddie rolled his eyes, scoffing with exasperation. “Gotta go get the kids. Do you want me to walk yours up too?” 

“No, I’ve got it.” You smile politely. “Thanks, Steve. I’ll be right there.” 

Eddie was already reaching for your lanyard of keys, dropping them in your hand, pressing a sweet, parting kiss to your cheek quickly. 

He worked tirelessly in his tiny janitor’s closet, pulling out a broken ruler to make sure it was lined correctly, taking breaks in between the lunch cleanup and fixing a ceiling light, until it was perfect. 

Oliver was thrilled when Eddie came home, the bright red paper in his hand. “Guess what came in the mail today, Ollie?” Eddie sang in a silly tone, a grin so wide and dazzling it made you want to melt. 

Oliver signed the dotted line with careful, slanted handwriting. You thought you were going to cry seeing him sign Oliver Munson beaming with pride at the last name that was all his now. 

Eddie snuck it back into your bedroom after going to “mail the letter back”, neatly laying it in your bedside drawer. That night, the two of you lied in bed, looking over every careful detail of the paper, your own prized possession. 

“How long did this take you?” You muttered, fingertip tracing over Oliver’s pen scrawled signature, lip trembling all over again. 

“Not too long,” Eddie’s chest rumbled under you, lips pressed into your hair, holding you against him as close as possible. “Worst part was trying to make sure I didn’t miss a letter or something. I started on green but fucked up Santa. Spelled Satan, so had to start over.” 

You laughed, a small, watery giggle that had Eddie’s grin on you tightening, an affectionate squeeze to your hip. “Yeah, that might have him confused.” You beam, head lolling back on Eddie’s shoulder to look up at him. “He was so excited though, I don’t think he would have cared.” 

Eddie’s lips curled in a soft smile, hand moving to cradle the back of your head, pulling you in for a sweet kiss- the kind that left your head reeling with devotion, letting him press you back into the pillows, body sliding on top of yours. 

“Wait,” You panted, tapping on his chest gently. 

Eddie frowned, rolling off of you. “‘M sorry. I thought you wanted to-” 

You placed the paper back in your bedside drawer, neatly tucking it under a book so it wouldn’t get crinkled. “I didn’t want it to rip.” You smiled softly, flicking off the lamp. 

Eddie could see your eyes, glowing with that devious hint that had his heart jumping with excitement. You crawled over him, legs straddling either side of his hips, your hands in his hair this time, pressing him into the pillow, pinning him with a feverish kiss that left him reeling.

[sugarcub]

Fluffy AU where everyone is a teacher

[indukkkks]

сегодня я слушала Децла.

тем кто понял, ставлю 5

дохуя умный значит, да?

[actual-arrrchie]

[not a ship post I just think they're silly]

[tmuse-ac]

yes casino au rudi <3<3

It's so beautiful and I will be proud of until like next week probably, but right now I like it :)

I also realized that there was no way for the drawings to not look awkward when trying to size them to post, so I just put them all on one page and filled the spaces with random doodles.

Side note: yes I did have to make the microphone sun and moon themed, of course i had to.

@salty-rey Look what I did! A gift for you because I love drawing them all :D Rudi brings me so much joy, I love them 😭

Bonus zooms of the corners (click/tap to see full):

[twst-drabbles]

Lilia 11

Summary: You two were alone by the fire. The Lilia you knew was rather playful in his flirtations. This younger Lilia was more… aggressive? To the point? Either way, he put himself on your lap with a glare.

(More time travel shenanigans. This is the only thing my brain wants right now, so may as well indulge.)

"I'm surprised you still come here," you said, poking a log deeper into the fire, "You just had a victory over some invading humans. Shouldn't you be over there celebrating with your men?"

Lilia, sitting flat on the ground, took a large swig from a glass flask. What he's drinking, you don't want to know. It's swamp like in color and thick like gasoline, but it seems to be something that gets him drunk.

He swallowed and sighed with deep satisfaction, red high in his cheeks. "You think we have enough time to celebrate? We don't live this long indulging in those loud parties those nobles love so much. Besides, this is a break, not a celebration."

Yeah, he's pretty tipsy. Well, as tipsy as a fae can get. You've seen people stumble around blind in their drunkenness, but never faeries.

"Huh," you looked to Lilia, "you take breaks? Wouldn't Her Highness singe you bald if she found out?"

"There are many things I don't tell her," and just like that, General Lilia's face and relaxed continence became more sober. Sharper. "How I go about in my private days, she doesn't need to know. Though, not as though I can stop her when she wants to barge in on them…"

Huh. Well, that's not quite as shocking as you thought it would be. No matter the time, Lilia was always keeping something close to his chest, whether it be something seemingly benign or important.

"Though," you leaned your face against your hand, catching Lilia's red eyes, "Am I really so relaxing to be around? That you would go out of your way to see me? I didn't think you saw me as a friend."

Really, in all his prickly nature, and the fact that his closest one was a woman who hated you, you thought Lilia would be more distant with you.

Then, Lilia smiled. A glint, shape canines shining in the flaring fire, as though he found something both succulent and offensive to his senses.

"A 'friend,' huh?"

Just as his flask landed on the stiff grass, Lilia closed the distance and clicked a heel right next to you against the log. You back up with a "whoa," just so your face didn't hit his nose. Lilia wasn't deterred, he simply leaned down so you couldn't focus on anything but him.

"Friends, with a human. It's laughable really, just saying that sentence alone!" His grin, for the moment it was there, was mocking. "Imagine how many would die of laughter at the thought of me wanting more than friendship from a human."

And that mockery was aimed at himself. Accepting of what's in him, and irritated at it existed at all.

"Since when have you ever cared?" You didn't turn away nor did you push him. "Why not indulge in the now? You can always forget about it later."

That gave Lilia pause. He took in a breathe and glared at you. He slid right into your lap without much sound. His arms rested upon your shoulders.

"…you should know what it is you're saying," Lilia murmured, as though he's afraid he'll blow away this fantasy if too loud, "Pranks like this are in poor taste."

You let your hand feel up the side of his body, your other combing through his long hair, releasing it from it's high tail.

"You know I don't do pranks," you're more dragged into them than anything, "Now come on. Indulge."

Lilia, impatient, closed the distance. This will be a secret, known to only you, Lilia, and the fire behind him.

[thecryptidart1st]

Merry Chrysler from The Graveyard Shift

[xxxtoony-brosxxx]

Jan as a cat

Baby Jan and Ezy

Ezek as a woman x2 and Ezek at his desk, bro got bear peets

[theprofessionalpromptmaker]

Justice for Janitors Day & Magna Carta Day & Worldwide Day of Giving

Person A is the new janitor working for a powerful political/royal family, and while trying to find a supply closet, accidentally walks in on a secret chamber where Person B, a disgraced and assumed dead ex-spouse/mistress to one of the family members, is hidden and imprisoned with their very young child. Person A decides to keep visiting them in secret and giving them things to make their imprisonment less harsh while trying to plan a way to rescue them.

[mojo-chojo]

Ma'am sir idk how to refer to you but I am looking respectfully at your 1920s Mumbo

oh someone likes the janitor i see

its a coloured ver of this sketch btw ↓

[oneforthemunny]

carry out |janitor!eddie munson x teacher!reader|

prompt: you had a hard day. eddie's there to take care of you.

the janitor!eddie smut you all wanted.

contains: 18+ MINORS DNI, fluffy a little, soft and sweet eddie, oral fem receiving, fingering fem

Eddie knew something was wrong with you at lunch.

You had this uncanny ability to brighten a room just with your appearance, a radiating and attracting positivity that shined bright and attracted others to it easily. It was what first drew Eddie to you, that beautiful glow that wrapped around him like a warm hug and pulled him in tightly, safely.

Oh, how he loved it. How he was envious of everyone you shared it with. He wanted to bottle it up and keep it just for himself, selfishly, store as much of it away in case you ever left him- God, he hoped with every fiber of his being you never did.

Today was different. Eddie's face lit up, perking up in the metal chairs of the teacher's lounge when you walked in, but this time, your face was sullen. A little droopier and pouty than usual.

"You alright, honey?" Eddie asked gently. He knew you didn't like a lot of PDA during school hours, wanting to keep it as professional as possible to avoid HR.

You sighed heavily, jabbing your pasta salad with a fork. "Yeah," You muttered, but your eyes didn't lift from your Tupperware container. "'M just tired."

That was an understatement.

Drained, was more accurate, Eddie decided. Emotionally, physically, mentally just drained, sucked dry of all energy. You'd managed to muster up enough energy, enough fake smiles and exaggerated tones to get through the rest of your lessons. Steve had offered to take your class down for drop off, which you were beyond thankful for.

You stood in the doorway, ushering your students into a line for Mr. Harrington, grinning though your smile didn't meet your eyes. Eddie watched from the edge of the hall, pushing his cart lazily to get the trash.

"Hey," Eddie called, abandoning his cart against the wall. You looked up at him, tired eyes and slumped shoulders. "You alright, sweetheart? You feeling ok?"

Your eyes cut around you, looking at the other teachers in the hall watching the two of you. Of course they knew you were in a relationship, everyone did, but today you couldn't bring yourself to dealing with their cutting glances.

Stepping into your classroom, you shut the door behind you and Eddie, leaning against it on the handle. "Ed, I am just so tired." You sighed heavily, head falling back on the door. "Today was... Today was a lot."

Eddie's face fell, lips pressing together gently. He searched your expression, your features, for any quirk or cue of something he could do, something he could read into to make it better for you.

"I'm sorry, baby." Eddie sighed helplessly. Fuck, did he hate feeling helpless. "What can I do to make it better? You wanna talk about it? Scream about it?" He teased lightly.

Your lips tugged in the corner ever so slightly, but your eyes remained dull. "I just wanna go home." You sighed, nodding slightly.

"Ok," Eddie croaked, tracking you gently while you grabbed your purse and bags from your desk. "I'll, uh, I'll finish up here and-and I'll head home soon, ok? I'll be super quick." His heart rate was rising a little too uncomfortably quick. He could hear the trilling thump ringing in his ears, palms sweating.

"Ok, honey," You muttered, pulling out your own keys. "I don't think I have it in me to cook tonight. I'm sorry."

Eddie shook his head fiercely, pulling you into his chest. "Don't worry about that." He said fiercely. God, was he such a dick you thought you needed to apologize for not cooking? Did he make you feel like you had to? What was wrong with him?

"I'll take care of it, ok? I'll take care of you." Eddie leaned forward, his curly bangs tickling your forehead.

You lifted your eyes to his, taking in those pretty brown eyes that always had you melting with the slightest gaze. "Let me take care of you tonight, sweetheart. I know you had a rough day." He cooed, hand moving to cup your cheek gently.

You turned into his palm, placing your hand over top of his own. Eddie flushed, familiar heat rising through his chest. There was that warmth, the one he'd been missing from you all day, a small glimmer peeking through the cloudy fog.

"I'll see you when you get home." You muttered, lifting to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. It was brief, soft, left him aching for more, but enough to soothe his buzzing nerves.

Eddie finished gathering the trash and wiping down desks in record time, practically sprinting to his van after he locked up, flying down the roads towards your small home.

He found you on the couch, which he was thankful for, changed out of your school clothes, curled up and watching a movie. Relaxing, he was glad.

You turned to greet him, looking over the couch with half lidded eyes, still drooped and dull from the day, muttering a greeting towards him. Eddie was practically shedding his coveralls (the school mandated ones that made him feel confined and silly).

"Do you want me to cook, or do you want me to call something in?" Eddie asked, bustling into the kitchen, uniform bunched around his waist, flipping through the drawers for the menus.

You sighed with a shrug. "Whatever you want to do." You muttered, lazily leaning into your palm. "'M not very hungry."

"Baby," Eddie sighed, a soft edge to his tone.

"I just..." You hesitated, craning your neck to look back over at him. "Can you just come sit with me? Please?"

And how could Eddie not oblige? Why would he ever want to deny you? He'd rip his own heart straight out of his chest if you asked him to.

"What's going on?" Eddie asked gently, settling on the couch next to you. His hands found your legs, pulling them into his lap, spreading the blanket over the two of you. "You alright?"

"I just had a really long day." You let out a long breath. "I just... I don't even want to think anymore. I don't want to think about dinner, or-or school, or anything other than just being here with you right now."

Eddie nodded slowly, fingertips tracing featherlight patterns on your shins. "Anything I can do to help?" He didn't mean for his voice to carry that tone when he asked, but he offered it nonetheless.

He was a little surprised when you didn't grin or snort, just looked up at him with brows drawn up and rounded eyes. "Please?" You asked gently.

Eddie stilled, body going rigid slightly with shock. "Yeah?" He asked, a blush creeping gently up his neck. "I mean, if-if that's what you want."

"I honestly can not think of anything better to help me relax." You admitted softly.

Eddie couldn't help but grin, all dimples and twinkling eyes that glistened hungrily over your frame. You in your sweat pants and his t-shirt, his favorite version of you; well, besides you naked.

"Sweetheart, all you have to do is ask." Eddie grinned. "You know I can't get enough of you. Fuckin' delicious, you know that."

You blush under the vulgar praise, a tiny grin that leaves Eddie reeling. He's on his knees in front of you, shimmying your sweatpants off and fixing himself so he's got each thigh on his shoulder. He's practically drooling at the sight of your cunt.

Your hands find his hair easily, brushing through his curls with a content sigh, melting further into the couch while Eddie places sloppy smooches to the inside of your thighs. Teasing, just barely, he couldn't deny himself much longer.

Pillowy lips pressed against your mound, nose nuzzling into the light wiry hair there, breathing in your scent deeply. You sigh heavy. "Please, Ed, don't tease me."

Eddie didn't need to be told twice. Never, for you. Calloused hands pressing under your thighs, lifting your legs a little higher for him, plump lips kissing your slit once with a full, wet kiss. Then again, this time, his tongue slipping gently between your folds.

You squirmed, his tongue licking a stripe through your sopping pussy, teasing over your clit. Enough to get your hands gripping his hair a little harder, pulling him up back to your swollen bundle of nerves.

Eddie moaned, flattening his tongue to lick a wide stripe through you again, going back to lap at your sopping hole, catch every last one of your delectable taste. His nose nuzzled into your clit, leaving you hips bucking with movement.

"Ed," You whined, nasally and airy. "Please, right there. Use your tongue there." You pulled on his curls, raising him to your clit, throbbing and desperate for relief.

Eddie obliged. Of course, he did. He was good to you like that.

Lips curling around your clit, he lapped and suckled at your sensitive spot, eyes watching you carefully. With every flutter of that magnificent mouth, you were gasping, thighs closing around his head, squirming and rocking on the couch.

Eddie grinned, his jaw was aching a little, but he could see through your face, pinched eyes and small gasps, you were enjoying it. Your back arched, fingers knotted into Eddie's thick curls when his pointer finger sunk into you, curling into your spongey walls with ease.

"Oh, fuck, Ed. Right there, right there, oh!" You whined, hips grinding and rolling onto his mouth,

Your toes curled hard, heels digging into the blades of his back. "Please, oh fuck, I'm so close." You panted. "K-Keep doing that. Yes, that, right there."

Eddie pulled back gently, a second finger pumping in and out of you, thumb reaching up to circle your clit. "You got it, baby." He breathed out slowly. "I got you. I got you."

Your eyes rolled back, a black staticy vision consuming your sight when his lips wrapped around your clit again. Your hips jumped, sharp and thrusting with impulse, thighs quivering at the sensation. You could feel the pressure building, the lewd sloshing sound filling the room, missing with your pants and whines in a vulgar symphony; music to Eddie's ears. Fucking beautiful, he wanted to play it over, and over, and over.

A final curl of his fingers, brushing that aching spot inside of you had you spilling over, a wet release that flooded all over Eddie. He didn't let up once, not even with the burning in his jaw, or the way you were smothering him into your wetness. He'd gladly waterboard himself in your essence, that was hardly punishment in his eyes, more like his own paradise.

Your chest heaved, body shaking and spasming with every violent after shock that followed. Eddie waited until your were pushing him away, light presses of your palm to his forehead after he lapped you up.

Eddie laid his cheek against your inner thigh, resting it there while he watched you, slumped into the couch, chest heaving and eyes glassy.

"You-You're way too good at that." You shuddered after a moment, slinging your arm over your eyes. You could hear your heartbeat ringing through your ears, pussy clenching and spasming around nothing with every aftershock that shook and tore through you.

Eddie grinned. "You flatter me, baby." He teased, pressing a sweet kiss to the soft skin of your thighs.

You shook your head furiously. "No way." You moaned lightly. "There's no good reason you should be that good at eating me out."

Eddie blushed, snorting lightly, cheek resting back against your skin. The featherlight tickle of his long, dark lashes against your skin had you shivering lightly. "You feel better?" Eddie asked, those same long lashes batting up at you sweetly. Oh, you wanted to kiss him. If you thought you'd be able to move easily, you would.

You nodded, instead, a small smile gracing your lips. Eddie saw it, that same twinkle back in your eyes, breaking through the fragments of you that he knew so well. "I do," You hummed, brushing his curls gently behind his ear. He melted into your touch. "You always get me so good, baby. Take such good care of me."

Eddie burned with praise, moving to press a kiss to the palm of your hand, hiding his blushing cheeks. "So," Eddie groaned lightly, moving out from under you, stretching to grab your discarded sweatpants.

"Now that I've eaten," He grinned, leaving you blushing. "What would you like to eat?"

"You chose." You sighed heavily. "I'm not picky."

Eddie smirked, shimmying your pants up slowly. If he knew you (and he did), you'd want Chinese food. You'd told him once, that shitty days called for Chinese food, and good days called for pizza. He wasn't sure what your logic was behind that, but he didn't care. It was you, your logic, your thoughts, and all you. He was thankful, stupidly so, that he was apart of you, could share those small details with you, and wanted to know every single other one.

In time, he would, but for now; he just wanted to know what your bad day was about. You'd tell him later over half bites of noodles, voice gravely and soft. He'd listen, he always did, it was what you loved about him, so caring and attentive. You'd go to bed, and tomorrow would be better. It would be a better day for the both of you. You'd return with that same warm glow that had Eddie dizzy and wanting more.