Reporter: What do you have to say to criticism that for years, the Robin role was filled solely by straight, cis white males?
Nightwing: I’m not white.
Red Hood: I’m not white.
Red Robin: I’m not… Well I’m white...
The camera lingers for an awkward moment before an offended Spoiler jumps into frame and protests girl-Robin erasure.
Later, someone puts the short close up of Red Robin’s response in slow motion with rainbow filters and dance music, and it‘s a viral joke in Gotham for two weeks.
It’s mostly forgotten for years until Red Robin goes to Pride and casually mentions that he’s already come out years ago. The clip resurfaces and people are like, “Wait, that was it??? That was real???”
Because Tim Drake has extensive media training but Red Robin is a chaotic bisexual disaster with no filter.
And that’s my headcannon of how Red Robin comes out in a way that’s so dumb, most people don’t even realise he’s done it.
(Bonus headcanon: Bernard was the creator of the original viral clip and was infuriated at the time because people thought it was a joke but it was SO OBVIOUS that Red Robin was coming out. Why couldn’t everyone see it?)
(EDIT: This recipe can also be used for gay, trans, or ace Tim - just adjust the ingredients to your personal preference.)
Sacrifice to the mission
(click for better quality)
Billy showing up to Nanda Parbat: Hey, I got told to meet my grandmother? What's that about-
Talia, picking Billy up and tucking him under her arm: Perfect, Jason has finally given me a grandson. Do you like swords and tigers?
Billy, about to be Spoiled™ for the next two weeks: Boy, do I!
I can’t resist:
dp x dc idea
Danny had to leave Amity Park, it was no longer safe for him. His parents found out and were all too eager to see the inner workings of a half ghost. He ran until he had ended up in Gotham, spent some time on the streets. He was too tired and weak to fight ghosts again so soon, so instead he tried his best to avoid conflict. Imagen his surprise when he somehow he caught the eye of Brucie Wayne (perhaps it was the hair and eyes, maybe it was his scrapy, sarcastic attitude). After getting gently coxed into going to Wayne manor, Danny is getting shown around when he bumps into Jason. As a cloud of mist leaves Danny's mouth and plume of smoke leaves Jason's. Jason is confused as to where the hell that smoke came from and Danny is staring in a mix of fear and shock. Just as Bruce was about to introduce them to each other Danny turns around and does a mad dash to the door. Danny can't fight another ghost right now and trespassing on another ghost's haunt is considered one of the fastest ways to get on a ghost's bad side. Bruce and Jason are both equally confused but simultaneously trying to get Danny to stop running and explain while also trying not to scare him any further. When they finally catch him (which was surprisingly hard for the vigilantes) all they hear is frantic mumblings of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I'm sorry, please don't hurt me." Now Bruce and Jason are even more confused, why is this random street kid deathly afraid of Jason Todd-Wayne? Jason had never even seen this kid before.
idk how to continue it lol but i was just thinking this would be a fun interaction, i think Jason would have a fire core (cuz of the explosion) hence the smoke for his ghost sence, feel free to continue if you get ideas :]
Next time I’m going to go ham with platforms on him like 👀
Not really a design I app for him. I feel like he’s not gonna go all out he’s just vibing idk. He set the makeup being the most prominent thing. His theme is dead boi
He does actually have the scars but I figure paint them all glowey and no one questions it?
He has fun being the zombie on stage and watching his family squirm when they see him in all the makeup lol
Blue lips cold skin wrecked fingernails
Bruce would have an attack 🤣
I don’t really know what to do with Jason’s designs and I’m open to any ideas fr
Official secret band AU!!!
Steph is drummer. Tim singer. Jason guitarist
I’m debating adding another but it won’t be batfam 🤷♀️
The batkids mess up in their mission and now they want Damian to accept the blame for them (Damian is the youngest of them all, Bruce will never get too angry when is the youngest apologizing) how the batkids bribe Damian?
Steph: Heeey Dami, I might've done an oopsie on that Croc case. Do you mind taking the heat for me so I don't get benched again?
Steph: Oh well. Guess I'll have to eat all these vegan waffles by myself.
Damian: Never mind, I reconsidered.
Damian: What do you want?
Duke: Just someone to go to the arcade with tomorrow. I heard they have a Cheese Viking VR simulator.
Damian: I believe my schedule is open.
Duke: That's awesome! Too bad Bruce might make me clean the basement tomorrow after that botched stakeout.
Damian: I will take care of Father. You just make sure we are first in line when the arcade opens.
Tim: I messed up the Riddler mission.
Damian, on his phone: How unfortunate.
Tim: Can you take the blame? I don't wanna miss Kon's birthday on Saturday.
Damian: You know my rate.
Tim: *grumbles and writes a check*
Cass: Take my case?
Damian: I thought you already caught the suspect.
Cass: Wrong person.
Damian: What will you do for me?
Cass: Clean litterbox.
Dick: Hey, Lil' D, can you do me a favor and gently let Bruce know that Two-Face skipped town before I could get to him?
Damian: Your Rogue, your problem.
Dick, pulling out a kitten from behind his back: Okay then, I guess I'll take Mr. Fluffykins back to that cold shelter.
Damian: Hand me that creature this instant and I will talk to Father for you.
Barbara: I need you to distract Bruce while I recover some files I accidentally lost.
Damian: *holds out his hand*
Barbara: *sighs and hands him a sketch pencil set*
Jason: I need you to convince Bruce that the explosion at Port Adams was not my fault.
Damian: Absolutely not.
Jason: I knew you'd say that, which is why I came prepared.
Jason: *reveals a bunch of knives under his jacket*
Jason: Take your pick.
Bruce: Wrong, wrong, wrong. Everything is all wrong and I want answers NOW.
Steph: *nudges Damian forward*
Bruce: Damian? Would you like to say something?
Damian: *glances back at his siblings before looking at Bruce*
Bruce, crouching down: Son, whatever you tell me, you know I'll always love you, right?
Damian: Brown's waffle mix was expired, Thomas lied about the Cheese Viking simulator, Drake's check bounced, Cain used the wrong litter brand, the kitten Grayson got was someone else's lost pet, Gordon's pencils were counterfeits from eBay, Todd's knives were plastic, and everyone failed their missions this week.
The batkids: *collective groan*
Man TOWERS over her
i don't get why people headcanon tim drake as the one in the batfam who's the sleep-deprived coffee addict when that description can apply to almost everyone in the bat/wayne family
Alfred is badass and has unuasual skills even for a batfam member.
Inspired by pandaredd’s skit where Alfred says “Bond wishes he was me”
The man is the caretaker of the bat family, he has raised every damn member, and has seen more than his fair share of wars, doomsdays and worse. He is a butler. And god knows what else in the spare time. All I imagine is that if a teenage Bruce looks up at Alfred and whispers he wants to train, Alfred might be the one who gives him contacts.
Alfred: .. wait here master Bruce, I know you won’t even listen to what I’m saying so I will let you learn the arts. Only under one condition though, I choose your trainers
Teenage Bruce: Alfred, whom would you-
Alfred *already on the phone* : Hello there Lee
Teenage Bruce *wide eyes* *mouthing* : Rock Lee??
Alfred *scoffing* : what world do you think we live in! Be more realistic Master Bruce.
Bruce: .. so who is it?
Alfred: Bruce Lee.
The scariest thing about the butler is that he will take you apart in less than a blow, and he doesn’t even need weapons. He will however use them just for fun.He can still hear if Bruce or any of the batfamily sneaks around, he’s been the only one who somehow knew Cass was in the room and offered her snacks while she was hanging upside down from the ceiling in the pitch black and overall has better instincts to locate any of them in the mansion than a GPS tracking system.
When supervillains, nosy reporters or even crooks try to break into the Manor, the fact that no one installed a security system should’ve really been a warning point that the Waynes had other.. deadlier security.
By the time Jason comes home he sees Alfred cleaning up the carpet, but doesn’t miss the wrinkled edge of the sleeve. It is only then when he looks to the other room and the criminals are all sitting in time out, each a truly remarkable shade of blue, black purple and green he’s never seen in real life. And none of them were even bleeding.
Alfred also has insanely fast reflexes. And to everyone surprise, he is an bloody good shot. Green arrow was once testing out a new arrow and it accidentally whizzed past the target and almost hit the cat when out of nowhere Alfred caught it and snapped it with one hand. And then proceeded to borrow a pistol and shoot the target while walking to the other side of the room, not even sparing a glance at the bullseye he had hit. All the while holding a tray of glass bottles that hadn’t moved a single inch.
He’s given advice to Jason on how to make explosives out of everything and nothing, taught Dick how to cut a tree in half with one kick, showed Stephanie how to always win Russian Roulette, guided Damian on how to break bones without ever leaving traces, taught Tim how to mimic someone’s voice and be scarily accurate, and so much more. Once on live television the world saw Alfred eat three cookies and refuse to pass them to Bruce Wayne before saying “They’ve been poisoned” and throwing them away. A few people swear they heard him mouth “bloody amateurs” afterwards and he insisted he was fine, stating that he was already “used to it.”
Whatever the fuck that meant.
And that is why the bat cave is a safer option for batman’s enemies than the mansion. Because if you were caught by the butler, just know that god has already forsaken you.
*Batfam is teaming up with the titans and the batkids on a mission and Dick is explaining who their murderer is and why and how they did it*
Wally: I still don’t get it.
Roy: Nobody does. They’re just pretending.
22 year old Gotham University student Danny finds a Damien clone whose near death and saves his life, offering to let the kid stay with him in his crappy apartment. The clone accepts, thinking Danny seems like a tolerable chump to bide his time with as he builds his strength for another fight with his progenitor for his rightful place as heir to Batman. Danny absolutely 100% knows the kid’s a clone and that taps right into his childhood trauma, making him want to protect him all the more. (Up to you if Dani is alive but in my version she’s not). Over time, Clone!Damien becomes begrudgingly fond of his new caretaker, especially after Danny starts taking him on Doctor Who style adventures through time/space and the tamer parts of the GZ (there are none) as part of his efforts to build up the kid’s confidence (outside his overcompensating ego) and help him learn to grow into his own person.
Danny and Clone!Damien are the downstairs neighbors to none other than Jason Peters (aka Jason Todd). They both clock him as Red Hood pretty quickly, but it takes much longer for them to connect him to the Waynes, so he’s kinda just their marginally more normal neighbor who happens to be a crime lord and who, for some reason, tends to check up on them a lot. (Originally this was because RH thought Danny might be an upcoming villain, then because he didn’t understand how Danny was alive, and then Clone!Damien moved in and he started checking to make sure that he didn’t murder Danny in his sleep). Luckily, Jason is a fantastic cook, so they are both grateful (to varying degrees) for his nosiness. (Is this a Dead on Main situation, are they just good friends? Who’s to say? You. Or me. But probably you.)
ugh i need best friend!jason to fuck me
imagine you’re at home with him, his head in your lap as you watch some show on the tv. you feel him shifting, thinking he’s getting comfortable but he’s actually trying to hide his boner. he didn’t mean to get all hard and horny but you’re just so pretty!! :( unfortunately for him, you notice and start teasing him.
“jay, is this all for me?” you snicker. you and him fucking isn’t a rare occurrence, so he was more than ecstatic to have you underneath him. “shut up and take your clothes off so i can fuck you,” he practically groaned. you shimmy out your shorts and panties and the sight is so fucking gorgeous that he moans.
“can never get tired of seeing this pretty fucking pussy.” with that, he spreads your legs further, space limited by the couch, but he tastes you nonetheless. as soon as his tongue touched your slick he’s moaning like a bitch in heat. you’re whimpering and begging for more and he just tells you to “shut the fuck up and take it like a good girl”.
YALLALALALALLLLLSNBDHDDJ idk what i was doing with this but i hope y’all enjoy🤭
Bruce: who do we know that has handcuffs?
Jason: well, y/n and I-
Y/N: *elbows him*
Jason: -wouldn’t know.
How do you think Jason would act when he took the reader's virginity?
He would take it so slow, check on you constantly, talk you through it, fggjhdrffhg. also if you saw my fail at posting this earlier no u didn’t
You're laid out on the bed bare before him. He's got nothing but his boxers on, stranding your waist.
"You wanna do this, right?"
You nod your head. He speaks again.
"Okay. You ready?"
To be honest, you aren't sure. You're freaking out a little bit. He can see it in your eyes.
He reaches for your hand. "We'll take it slow." You nod your head.
"Gotta make sure you're wet enough first. I know you're nervous, and that's okay. We just have to make sure you're turned on." He puts his hands on your waist and drags you towards the edge of the bed, so your legs are hanging off and you're sitting up. "Tap me anywhere twice and we'll stop, no questions asked." He wraps his arms around your thighs and gives you small kitten licks, just enough to have you moaning and wanting more.
He stops for a second to look at you. "We're gonna have to work you open. I'm gonna start with one finger and we'll build our way up." His mouth returns to your clit, but this time you feel a finger gently prod at your entrance before he removes his head once more. "Okay?" You nod your head again. "Can you say it for me, love?"
"Good girl." He watches your face as he slowly works his middle finger in you. He begins to gently thrust it in and out as he puts his face back between your thighs and his mouth back to its previous task. You can feel your pleasure building, and moan with every thrust.
Before you know it, he's added his ring finger and is working you open with both fingers, separating them and bringing them back together to stretch you out.
"Doin' so good f' me, baby. Ready for another one?"
"My child is perfectly fine."
All your child's blorbos are the personifications of trauma
rando at a gala: If you don't mind me asking, what ever happened to your brother?
dick: He died
rando: Oh... I'm so sorry
dick: Don't worry, he’s okay now
rando: …Can you please clarify?