#jaune arc

[notmaplemable]

RWBY+J: *Looking at some guns at the Beacon firing range*

Jaune: What's that one?

Ruby: That's a single action army. The gun the won the south.

Jaune: Cool.

Yang: What's with you and liking old weapons?

Jaune: I just like that classics, and one of my uncles uses pistols like these. Well, not that exact one but, the same type?

Ruby: Revolvers?

Jaune: Yeah. He even showed me a few cool tricks.

Yang: Then show us, Vomit Boy.

Weiss: Arc with a gun, are you sure that's a good idea?

Blake: Couldn't be any worse that you with Crescent Rose.

Weiss: We agreed to never bring that up again.

Jaune: Oh don't worry, *Picks up revolver* I'm pretty good.

Jaune: *Proceeds to do some Doc Holliday/Revolver Ocelot level of unnecessary spinning before nailing six targets*

RWBY: ...

Jaune: See? I'm not as good as my Uncle though.

Yang: You don't even know what you just did.

Jaune: Wha-

Ruby: GIVE ME BABIES NOW!

Jaune: Wow!

WBY: *Trying to hold Ruby down*

Ruby: MUST BREED!

Weiss: Run, you fool!

[howlingday]

Ruby: It's done... So, what're you gonna name your new sword?

Jaune: Hm... Stabby Stabberson.

Ruby: NO.

Jaune: It's my sword. Why can't I name it that?

Ruby: You can't make me forge a new sword for you and name it something stupid like that.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Yang: *Standing up from a pile of Rubble* The Bellabooty is soft and Supple! Absolute Ass perfection!

Pyrrha: *readying next attack* The Arc Ass is solid stone! Tight and Hard, capable of withstanding any hit! When you smack it, there is no Jiggle! It's raw muscle~

Yang: And that is why It's inferior!

~~~~~

Blake: I love my wife~

Jaune: I love my wife too~

[juanarc-thethird]

Is a Nas-Cart

At a Gas station

Jaune: $6 on pump two, please.

Cashier: *Looks outside and then back to Jaune* Sir, that's a shopping cart.

Jaune: I don't see what the make and model of my vehicle has anything to do with the $6 of cold hard cash I just laid on the counter.

Cashier: My apologies sir. Go nuts.

Jaune gets out and begins to soak the shopping cart with gasoline.

????: *Angry* There you are, you piece of shit!

Jaune: *Looks behind him*

????: I've been looking for you!

Jaune: Who, me?

He says while continuing to douse the shopping cart with gasoline.

Kmart Manager: No, the other dumb fuck pouring gasoline into a shopping cart. I'm the general manager at the Kmart down the street. We've been looking for the bastard who keeps taking carts, and dousing them in gasoline before returning them on the fucking cart corral!!

Jaune: Sir, this ain't no ordinary shopping cart. This is a Nas-Cart.

Kmart Manager: I'm going to beat you to death you little-

*Car noises* Jaune climbs into the shopping cart and drives to the horizon.

Kmart Manager: My mistake, you have a good rest of your evening.

[brokentrafficknight]

Look out Rubes, Jessica is packing some heat

[superiorsturgeon]

Dad Challenge

Ghira: Today, you three face an important trial…

Taiyang: The Dad Challenge™️!

Ghira: In order to join the league of fatherhood, you must pass three tests to prove your skill, strength, and fortitude.

Taiyang: Challenge number one! Barbecue!

Sun: *furiously stir-frying on hot wok* 🍲

Yang: *grilling like her life depends on it* 🔥🥩🔥

Jaune: *stirring hearty stew in well-seasoned heirloom pot* 🥘

Ghira: Challenge two: Dealing with boo-boos!

Jaune: *bandaging skinned knee and kisses it better* 😙

Yang: *kneels down and gives inspiring pep-talk*

Sun: *makes child laugh with funny faces* 🤪

Taiyang: And finally…

Ghira: …the ULTIMATE challenge…!

Taiyang/Ghira: Helping your child with their homework!

Yang: Why would they change math?! MATH IS MATH!!! 🤬

Sun: …this is math, right? When did they start adding letters? 🤨

Jaune: …ugh…go ask your mother… 😓

Ghira: You have passed the test!

Sun/Yang/Jaune: 😃

Taiyang: SIKE!!! Bonus round!

Ghira: Dad jokes, go!!!

Sun/Jaune: 😕

Yang: …my time has come! 😁

[pilot-boi]

My face when Reddit says the next RWBY Beyond is going to be about Jaune

[arc-misadventures]

The VTuber: The Ninja

VTubers are an eclectic assortment of fellows. Ranging form, humans, to catgirls, dwarfs to elfs, from dragons to loli’s. They were an odd sort.

There were various characters among this assortment of individuals as well. From dragons to knights, barkeepers to schoolgirls. Often times they were all of these at once. So it came as no surprise that one VTuber was a combination of two of these particular eclectic tastes.

Like a catgirl, and a ninja combined into one.

For that’s how one would describe the VTuber SushiandShibari. Aka, NyanNinja.

Least that’s how people described her appearance, when it came to her personality, that was a whole different can of worms to deal with.

~~~

Instead of doing, SushiandShibari’s usual stream videos; Playing romance game, to horror games, and the like. She was stuck in an unexpectedly awkward conversation with friend: DraGunShow.

SushiandShibari: So… Care to explain why you just jumped into my stream, call me a bitch?

DraGunShow: Ughhhhh…

DraGunShow: I lost the bet we made…

SushiandShibari: What bet?

DraGunShow: The one where you bet I couldn’t get, Errant to blush.

SushiandShibari: Oh that one, so you called me a bitch because you couldn’t get him to blush? That’s rude.

DraGunShow: No… My chat let it slip what was going on because they were making bets on whether, or not I could do it. So, he changed the game on me; Who ever blushes first loses, and wins their chats betting pool money. And, I lost… Oh god did I lose!

SushiandShibari: It wasn’t that bad was it?

DraGunShow: He asked me if I ride a motorbike, to which I do. So he asked if you have to grab the handlebar to drive it.

SushiandShibari: Is he thinking about getting a motor bike? Oh I bet he would look food on a bike!

DraGunShow: He would look damn hot on a bike~! Ahem! But, no that’s not what he asked about.

SushiandShibari: It wasn’t? Then what did he ask?

DraGunShow: He asked if he had to grab me by my horns to ride me.

SushiandShibari’s eyes inwidened as her mouth fell open, look at her chat in wild shock as she processed the words her friend had just said. Leaving her with, but one course of action to hearing that.

SushiandShibari: DAMNNNN! That is so hot!

DraGunShow: I turned tail, and ran like hell! I could not stay around him anymore! I have never been so thoroughly flirted with before in all my life!

SushiandShibari: Really? I thought you got flirted with a lot.

DraGunShow: No I don’t, I tend to teasingly flirt with other people.

SushiandShibari: Like me.

DraGunShow: Like you, but I don’t tend to be flirted with. Least most of the times I’ve been flirted with people tend to ‘flirt’ with my boobs.

SushiandShibari: With your boobs?

DraGunShow: ‘Hey babe, nice buns you got there, how about I put my sausage between them?”

DraGun’s voice dropped into what could only be described as her best ‘dude bro’ voice. Or that, Muscleman character, whatever you felt was more adept.

NyanNinja however looked on in horror for several reasons, least of all was the voice she impersonated.

SushiandShibari: A guy once used that exact same line on me?!

DraGunShow: Oh shit, really?

SushiandShibari: Yes, but he wasn’t talking about my breasts, bastard was talking about my ass!

DraGunShow: Ppfff-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

DraGun burst into a fit of laughter as, NyanNinja’s ears flattened against her head as she glared at her friend.

SushiandShibari: Its not funny, quit laughing!

DraGunShow: Like hell it is! “Hey babe, can I hotdog your ass?” Pfft! Hahahahaha!

SushiandShibari: Grrrrrrr! Listen here you…?

NyanNinja was about to start berating her friend when an automated voice from a donation started playing.

: Hello Sushi, I noticed you lack of notifications sounds, and I decided to make one, adding it to your streams prompt pack. Enjoy.

SushiandShibari: Uh oh…

DraGunShow: Oi! Aren’t you supposed to review those before people are allowed to put stuff on there? In case someone put on something inappropriate that could get you cancelled?

SushiandShibari: I do! But, there is a filter, so if people say anything with certain words they’ll…?!

: Good girrrl~!

SushiandShibari: …?!

DraGunShow: …?!

The duo’s blood frozen in their veins as a shiver of excitement coursed down their spines. The pair looked to one another before addressing chat.

DraGunShow: W-W-Was that what I think it is…?

SushiandShibari: Please tell me it was!

: Good girrrl~!

DS: Ahhhh~!

The pair, for the lack of a better word fainted in shear excitement, and the coursing thrill as they heard those words, or more importantly who said those words. For it was a simple sound bite from everyone’s favourite paladin, Errant.

DraGunShow: He called me a good girl!

SushiandShibari: Like hell he did! This is my stream, I’m the good girl!

DraGunShow: Fine, but only the first one is yours, I get the second one!

SushiandShibari: Like hell! They’re both mine! Every time he says that it’s fucking mine!

DraGunShow: Then chat! Give me that sound bite too! I want to be called a good girl too! In fact! Give me every sound bite like that I want them! I want them all!

SushiandShibari: I want them too! Give me all the sound bits of him being sexy! I NEED THEM!

DS: NOW!!!

~~~

Meanwhile while, ErrantryPaladin was watching a video recommended to him by chat, he hit pause as he stopped, and looked around. A worrying expression etched across his face as he looked about expecting some sort of monster to suddenly pop out, and attack him.

ErrantryPaladin: C-Chat… anyone else just get this foreboding sense of unease… Like something bad is about to happen…

Errant continued to look about before he stopped as he saw a message appear on his screen, offering him a deal he couldn’t help, but view suspiciously.

ErrantryPaladin: Okay… why the hell are you bribing me with thirty subs if I say, ‘ara ara’ in a seductive voice?

[reashot]

Red Like Roses... (It's period 🔴)

Warning: fluffness inside. Also really long.

At Beacon during a more peaceful time.

Pyrrha: Hmmm it's quiet, too quiet.

Ren: I agree. It's never a good sign. We should be ready for something.

Jaune: Ready for what?

Nora: Oh you know usually things never stay quiet for long especially when we're right next door to the main characters.

*yang burst into the room*

Pyrrha: And speaking of the devil.

Yang: Quick hide! *brace the door behind her*

Jaune: Oh Shi- okay gangs we trained for this! Quick initiate Pattern Delta Phi.

Nora: Aye, aye dear leader, let's initiate plan hiding under our bed's like cowards.

JNPR: *Bracing for Impacts.*

*Yang holding the door with all her might*

Ren: Wait what are even hiding from in the first place?

Yang: No time to explain. Here it Comes!

A large sounds resembling explosion came from across the hallway. The door starts to violently shakes and rose petals soon violently burst into the room. Even with Yang putting all her strength into the door. Some rose petals still managed to get inside.

Yang: .... I think we're in the clear now.

Pyrrha: What just happened?

Yang: Eh, promise not to freak out?

Jaune: Okay, I guess...

Yang: Good enough. *shows team JNPR the source of the roses*

Ruby: Huee~ *sniffs* huee~ 😭

Jaune: Ruby?

Ren: It seems to be her.

Pyrrha: Wait. Where are Blake and Weiss?

Nora: Found them. They're buried under all of this Rose petals.

Blake: *coughing up a bunch of petals* Eww I got some of it in my mouth.

Weiss: .... I just saw my grandfather.

Jaune: Okay, can someone now please tell us what is going on....

*Cardin burst into the room*

Cardin: Why the Fuck are there Roses all over the damn hallways!?

Russel: Don't try to lie we know it's coming from team RWBY!

Yang: Wow, wow! False accusation, much?

Dove: Well we can't help it. Because whenever something bad happened It's usually always you four.

Sky: Fucking Main characters shit...

Nora: I know right!

Pyrrha: Nora! Which sides are you on?

Nora: Oops my bad... (I mean, I'm not wrong 😒.)

Ren: *shrugs his head* Nora...

Jaune: Can all of you please stop being aggro for just one second!

You're upsetting Ruby for brother's sake.

Ruby: Wah! Wah! Wah! 😭

Jaune: Also can someone please tell me what just happened?

WBY: *looking at each others*

Yang: *sigh* (I guess I'm the one that should tell everyone.)

How do I gently put this? Ruby is in her special time of the month...

Jaune: Oh...

Cardin: The fuck does that even mean?

Russel: the month?

Dove: I see... (Maybe if I silently nod people will not think I'm dumb.)

Sky: (okay, she had her period. What does that have to with anything?)

Blake: Typical.

Weiss: Can you guys be anymore of a dudebros cliche?

CRDL: Hey!!!!

Yang: Let me put it this way. Every time Ruby has her "special month" her semblance's goes all haywire for some reason.

Jaune: Okay I get the gist of it. Team CRDL go outside and clean the hallway.

Cardin: What! Why the fuck should we clean up their mess?!

Jaune: Because I fucking said so. Now go!

Cardin: Geez... Whatever. C'mon boys, we better clean up team RWBY's mistakes. Again!

*slams door*

Blake: Thanks Jaune.

Weiss: Geez Arc, when did you grow a spine?

Yang: I gotta say Vomit Boy. I never knew you had it in you.

Pyrrha: *blush* (So manly.)

Nora: That's our Jaun-Jaun.

Jaune: Blake, Weiss. Please help Cardin & his team with the clean up outside.

Weiss: What! No way. Why should we help those dunderheads in the first place.

Jaune: Because they're right that the mess was started by your team.

Weiss: I'm sorry, our? For the record it's just Rub...

Blake: We're on it Jaune. C'mon Weiss let's help clean up all this roses. *drags Weiss away*

Jaune: Pyrrha, Ren, Nora. I also want you to go out side and help them.

Pyrrha: I understand Jaune. I will do as you ask.

Nora: Oh c'mon Jaune, why us too?

Jaune: Because they're our friends, Nora.

Nora: Well I'm about to go back to my room... *gets yoinked*

Ren: It's okay Jaune. I will get her to help us.

Nora: *grumble* (Fucking Main characters....)

Jaune: Thanks Ren. And Yang I want you to stay and find Ruby's "hygiene" products.

Yang: Wow, wow! Settle down cowpoke. I don't think you being a man is qualified to be the one to help with Ruby's "issue."

Jaune: I have seven Sisters...

Yang: Sweet brothers in heaven!

Uh, I take that back you're clearly overqualified.

At least I don't have to help clean up. But what're you going to do Jaune?

Jaune: I'm going to go back to my room to make a tea for Ruby.

A few minutes later.

Jaune: Here you go Ruby. A sweet herbal tea with plenty of honey and sugar.

Ruby: ... *sniffs* Thank you Jaune. 😢

*sips*

Jaune: It's okay Ruby you don't have to thank me.

Ruby: But I caused so much problems for everyone. *sniffle*😞

Jaune: *headpat*

There, there Ruby it's okay that what's friends are for. And you didn't troubled me one bit. In fact I'm happy to be of use to you. It reminds me that I'm still useful to someone.

Ruby: Jaune please don't think like that. You always were important to everyone.

Jaune: *kiss forehead*

It's nice of you think that Ruby. But I'm not. I'm not special like you. You're destined for great thing while I'm.... Just me.

Ruby: 0-0

Jaune: What's the matter... Ohhh, ohhh no. I'm so-so sorry Ruby I didn't realize that... I usually did that to my little sister whenever she's sad.

Ruby: *blush*

I-I don't mind it at all Jaune. It's just that if you want to do it to me again a little heads up would be nice. 😖

Jaune: I'm so-so sorry Ruby I promise that I... Wait, what do you mean by again?

Ruby: Uhh....

Yang: *clears throat*

I seems to have interrupted something here.

Jaune: Y-Yang!

Ruby: Sis!

Yang: Look Rubes I don't need to say this but remember what dad said. No boys. And Jaune please don't take this the wrong way but please for your sake please don't get any idea with Ruby. It will not end well for you.

Jaune: O-of course. I will never-ever think of Ruby like that. We're just friends after all.

Ruby: Friends... 😭

*starts crying*

Jaune: Oh, what's the matter Ruby?

[incorrect-gravescest]

⚠️⚠️⚠️ OMG TOTALLY REAL VOL 10 SPOILERS ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Setting: A brutal battle between Maiden Cinder and Jaune ends in defeat for the Huntsman, as he lays prone on his back with Cinder holding a flaming sword made of pure hellfire just inches from his face.

CINDER: Do me a favor, won't you? When you see Pyrrha again, tell her I still believe in destiny.

(suddenly a glowing green cross hairs forms on Cinder's forehead)

CINDER: What the-

JESSICA: Step away from my man, you flaming bitch!

[rocknroll7575]

A Lamb Among Hyenas

Jaune: *Entering Parenting class and smiles at some single moms* Hi!

Mom 1: You're new~ What's ya name?

Jaune: Oh, I'm Jaune, and I, uh, got a baby girl,

Mom 1: Welcome, this is a safe space

Jaune: *Smiles and nods* Thank you

Mom 2: Totally! Does... your wife work? Or...?

Jaune: Oh no, we're uh, not married right-

Mom 1: Good

Jaune: ... Uh, she' still in the hospital-

Mom 2: Oh I'm so sorry! What happened?

Jaune: C-Section, There was some complications

Mom 1: hopes she makes it

Jaune: Yeah... she's at the ICU, she's getting better

Mom 1: Poor thing- Can I bring you dinner?

Jaune: ... No... thnak you though, that's very nice...

Mom 1: You sure~?

Jaune: Yeah

Mom 2: You don't want that dinner *Glares at Mom 1* Woman can't warm up a hot pocket, I'll give you my number in case you need, Anything~! What's your number?

Mom 1: My number is I like Anal

Jaune: *Stunned* AYE! WHOA!

(How does your ship react?)

[willsonlmt]

Vol.1 Jaune: I dont use a gun because i dont own one. Believe me, i think what you all have is cool incorporated guns into your weapons.

Vol 9 and onward Jaune: I dont use a gun because it's too easy, and when taking a life, it shouldn't feel easy.

[howlingday]

Weiss: It's been too long, Jaune.

Jaune: Eh, about three years, right?

Weiss: Yes, but we know that it was something you had to do to ensure peace across Remnant after the Fall of Salem.

Jaune: Yeah, yeah, I missed you, too, Weiss. All of you. Sorry I didn't get a chance to shave before seeing you again.

Weiss: Oh? You didn't shave? I'd hardly noticed.

Jaune: Don't worry. I'll get it all off before-

Jaune's razor: (Sliced apart, shot to hell, burned and frozen at the same time)

RWBY: DON'T!

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Nora: Aw man!

Ruby: What's wrong?

Nora: Jauney bought pancake supplies, but won't be able to make it back due to the storm tonight!

Ruby: Oh no! Penny's out there too!

Nora: Well- Her and Jaune are actually together right now. They're splitting their lien on a hotel room for the night.

Ruby: O- oh. Well, that's good! They're pretty friendly with each other! they'll keep each other safe!

Nora: You sound weirdly worried for them.

Ruby: They're my friends! I can be worried for them!

Nora: ... That's it?

Ruby: ... They're incredibly gullible. They can get tricked so easy and it make me sad to think that.

Nora: Well, like you said they have each other! they'll be fine!

~~~~~

Jaune: Oh, there's only one bed. You can have it if you want-

Penny: Oh I don't mind sharing. If anything you will get more use with the bed than I will.

Jaune: I've got to say, this place was in kind of an odd spot far off the main street.

Penny: My GPS Said it was the nearest and most affordable location.

Jaune: What's this place's name again?

Penny: "Hotel Amor"

Jaune: ...

Penny: ... What?

Jaune: Do you know what that means?

Penny: The literal translation is "Hotel Love." The description stated it was a "Lovely Hotel"

Jaune: Did it say lovely?

Penny: It said "Love Hotel" but I had figured it was a grammar or spelling mistake.

Jaune: ... Okay then. Can you please look up what a "Love Hotel" is?

Penny: ...

Penny: *Blushing* Oh!

Jaune: ... *Blushing, looking away* So, uh, yeah-

Penny: This is excellent!

Jaune: What?

Penny: Well, I have been wanting to try ... and I believe we know each other well enough ... Jaune, would you engage in sexual intercourse with me?

Jaune: *Blushing harder* ... Uhm. Let's not or today, but maybe we could go out sometime? Like, on a date?

Penny: *Blushing* That sounds wonderful Jaune.

[notmaplemable]

Ruby: Jaune, I want you~.

Jaune: ...To join the army?

Ruby: ...

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

Ruby: I just think it’s rude I’m not in a big strong blonde’s arms and being showered with kisses right now.