my favorite criminals, inspired by this post :)
(they’d probably both be Ken in this format but Roy is thinking about all of his family members and friends who are going to make fun of him for this. Just another day for Jason though.)
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Red Hood/Arsenal (2015—2016) | Scott Lobdell · Denis Medri
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Got on the Barbie and Ken mug-shot wagon with Jason and Roy. (I don't know how I feel about Jason's high collar but I had to cover Barbie's hair somehow).
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*At a Batfamily meeting*
Tim: As the only one in a committed relationship- Selina doesn't count after your whole wedding drama- I really feel-
Jason: what do you mean 'thE OnLY oNe', you aren't the only one
Tim: oh yeah, who else is in a serious committed relationship?
Jason: Me? I've literally been married for years?
Bruce: EXCUSE ME???
Dick: who to?
Jason: Roy
Dick: EXCUSE ME??? EWWW YOU AND ROY, GET THIS IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD, MY FRIEND AND MY LITTLE BROTHER GROSSS
Jason: Wait, did none of you know? I literally call him my partner all the time
Tim: To be honest we thought you meant partner in crime, not marriage
Jason: I mean, both but still...
*Later, during the ✨vigilante hours✨ of the night*
Bruce: I hear you are married to my son
Roy, panicking cause Bruce is really protective of his kids: Oh, shit, um, yes- yes sir
Bruce: without my blessing
Roy: uh, yeah, we were on a time crunch, married couples can't testify against each other
Bruce: without inviting me to the wedding
Roy: I uh- you were gone that weekend, business trip
Bruce: I haVE A PRIVATE JET, I WOULD HAVE FLOWN IN! IT WAS MY SONS WEDDING, I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE BEEN THERE
Roy: I'm sorry, sir
Bruce: tell me one more thing
Bruce: was Ollie there?
Roy: No
Bruce: Does Ollie know
Roy: No
Bruce: your recompense is to allow me to be the one to tell him so I can brag to him that I knew first
Roy: uh, sure?
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wayne family adventures moments that i love dearly (pt. 1?)
roy harper? he's so chill about it too like damian you're struggling with making friends here's my advice i love jason
he's so sparkly
each of their faces gets me every time
jason just looks annoyed
dick just looks apologetic, like batman will be pissed at him
damian looks downright angry
tim, poor tim looks so uncomfortable
he's just cracking some guys skull!! (i love jason)
this is my favorite quote in history
bart is so flash, like hes just vibing and not at all caring about how stressed his friend is about him being there
he's the angsty one not jason
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Bruce: So, when you and Jason eventually get married-
Roy: We’re not dating?
Bruce:
Bruce: When the two of you get married, how likely do you think it is that you will change your last name to Wayne?
Roy: Jay doesn’t even use Wayne.
Bruce: *prolonged sigh*
Bruce: Yes, but have you considered how much it will annoy Ollie?
Roy:
Roy: Go on…
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Tim, trying to come out to everyone: I'm dating Clark's son
Damian, looking up from his tablet: I'm also dating Clark's son...
Bruce, looking between his two kids: I'm dating Clark-
Dick: Holy shit now I'm glad I'm dating just Wally
Jason: You're dating Wally? Pfft- I'm dating Roy
Stephanie: I'm dating cA-
Cass, covering her mouth: I think that's enough reveals for one day.
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Bernard: Hmm...
Jason: What?
Bernard: You look an awful lot like Bruce Wayne's dead son Jason Todd.
Jason: -blue screen-
Bernard: I mean add a few years and pounds.
Jason: Wait. What?!
Bernard: Hmm. -prods Jason- I suppose Wayne Enterprises would have the tech. It would explain a lot...
Jason: I...I have no idea what's going on right now.
Bernard: -dialling Tim- Hey Babe.
-indistinct phone noises-
Jason: Who even are...
-Bernard puts a finger to Jason's lips-
Bernard: Shh, I'm checking something. No sorry Babe, I was shushing the clone.
-loud, angry phone noises, and confused Jason noises-
Bernard: Tim, of course I'm not talking to a Robin, it's daytime. I'm talking to the clone of your adopted brother Jason Todd who I bumped into at the Farmer's Market.
-very angry phone noises-
Bernard: -sighing- Tim I love you, but we all know that Bruce Wayne dated the Batman, which is where the Batman clearly stole the Robin Cloning Tech from...
-angrier phone noises-
Bernard: Look Tim, don't get angry at me that your adopted father's ex doesn't understand boundaries. Anyway, I have to go as your Brother's clone is malfunctioning and a hot red head with a kid is trying to drag him away from my citizen's arrest. Love you!
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Dick: “Everyone meet my baby brother.”
Jason [literally a 6’0” tall absolute monster of a man who has guns strapped to his thighs, standing in front of several unconscious men]: *waves*
Kori: “baby?”
Roy “I’m already in love” Harper: “baby”
Based on this tweet:
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twitter, food, and dumb asses
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Jason: Bruce really hates us.
Roy: Yeah, maybe he's homophobic.
Jason: We're not gay.
Roy: We're not?
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Kory, Jason, and Roy is an ot3 that I kinda totally get behind and I love the idea of the all raising Lian together
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Wally: Is
Wally: Is that my sweatshirt??
Kon: oh. haha yeah, i guess it is. do you want it back?
Wally: i mean its fine, i have a million but,,,, why do you have my sweatshirt?
Kon: well you see, Tim is probably the biggest Clothes Thief on the planet, and he steals my clothes all the time but i he’s tiny and none of his clothes fit me so when i steal something back its almost always an article of clothing that he stole from someone else which is the only reason he owns something large enough for me to wear. i stole this hoodie from Tim, who stole it from Dick, who I’m assuming stole it from you.
Wally: and you don’t find that strange?
Kon: no. Bro, you’re my boyfriend-in-law.
Wally:
Kon:
Roy: *walks in wearing a shirt that obviously belongs to Kon*
Wally: Roy, that is Literally Kon’s shirt
Roy: no biggie, we’re boyfriends-in-law so its cool
Wally:
Kon:
Roy:
Wally: WH-
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