#joel killer x y/n

[grippingbeskar]

small favours

— joel miller x fem!reader

— warnings: explicit content minors dni, smutttt, dirty talk, very minimal plot sorry not sorry, swearing, needles, mention of injuries/cuts

— a/n: happy tlou release week!! this is set in jackson between the first and second game, i wrote the first part before i saw the show but just imagine with me okay. and it’s literally just bc i saw joel in that denim shirt and went yeah… i wanna fuck him in that. lmao. also dedicated to @everybirdfellsilent because we have been waiting for this show for so long and it’s finally here and oaoxosoxosox. wow.

You hadn’t asked for much.

It was a simple fix, you were sure of it. Yes, you don’t know anything about how to fix hinges, nor do you have any clue about how you broke it in the first place. Either way, it’s just a few screws and a metal piece, so was it really that hard to find five minutes to fix it?

Leading another one of the horses into the stable, you pointedly step over the gate that now lays on the floor, too heavy for you to move it. The horse tramples it, of course, which is why you had asked for someone to come and fix it before the horses were brought back in from patrol. Clearly, no one gave a shit about your question, but you know they’d all be the first to complain if it was their horse that got out through a broken gate.

It was late now, anyways. Too late for you to get anyone out, and even with the safety of Jackson’s walls keeping you blocked off from the outside world, being out at night still freaked you. When you finally got the horse in your hand settled and fed, you promptly sat yourself on the floor of the stable. Without the front gate, it wasn’t safe to leave the horses alone. With your luck, they’d get spooked and run all the way through town, and the last thing you needed was more reason for the people in here to look at you.

It wasn’t that you weren’t liked— you just kept to yourself. This life was hard enough as it is, and you didn’t see the point in making friends when in five years this place would probably be full of strangers. People die every day out here, you knew that too well. You wanted to save yourself the heartache wherever you could.

All that anti social behaviour certainly didn’t win you any favours though— hence the still broken door. You loved it— you were good with horses, having lived in a farm before the outbreak, so you decided to volunteer to help in the stables, but it was hard work sometimes. It kept you busy enough, though, and horses never wanted to make conversation, so… win-win.

There was only one problem with working in here. Truthfully, it wasn’t so much as a problem and more of a chronic condition. At least, that’s the way it felt every time Joel Miller made some kind of appearance. Most people just left the horses tied up out front for you to take care of, but Joel seemed to enjoy the peace the stable provided— that and you never talked much, which seemed to work for him. On the days he’d come back from patrol, the two of you would share a few hushed conversations as you worked and he hid from the rest of Jackson, and then you’d fall into a comfortable silence, sometimes for hours at a time.

Weeks had passed like this, and every single day you got a little bit more interested in who the man really was, other than his clear infatuation with his horse. Right when he came in would be the time you talked the most, after about forty minutes it would get too busy and you’d work until the sun set. But those forty minutes started to stretch a little longer, and he seemed to gain interest in you, too. Maybe you were grasping at straws, but hearing Joel’s low voice rumble a few more words every time he spoke to you was doing wonders for your self esteem, and even you couldn’t deny the way your face warmed when he smiled at you.

“Hey, you still— damn. What happened here?” Joel calls from the gaping hole that is the stable door, and only because it’s his voice calling you do you look up.

“It’s been broken all day. I asked someone to fix it, but…” You shrug, sighing and leaning your head back on the small gate that was the only thing holding the horse behind you from leaping out down the main street. “I guess they had other shit to do. I can’t move it on my own.”

Joel considers you for a second, how your frame is backed against the gate, conveniently placed at the closest point to the open door. Then, he looks back to the door on the ground, and back up to you. He smirks.

“So you were plannin’ on sitting in here all night?” The weight of the day makes your shoulders slump forward, and for the first time you really consider your plan. “You gonna body check a horse when he makes a run for it?”

“Okay, it was a dumb plan. But, it’s that or let them all out and get stuck cleaning up the bar floor or something.” He smiles again, the setting sun behind him washing over his shoulders in a pretty orange colour. A tilt of his head in your direction has you standing up, taking the lead of his horse that he offers to you.

“You take him, I’ll go get my tools. Fix it up before sun down.” Before you can protest or tell him he doesn’t have to, he’s walking off to the right up the hill where his house sits.

You’d always been a bit jealous of the spot his house is. It’s far away enough from everyone that you get some real privacy, but close to the stables if you need a quick exit. He had a porch, too. One you spent a little too much of your time staring at during your work hours, when he spent his off days strumming a guitar right in your line of sight. He was just… peaceful to observe. He brought a calm to you that no one else seemed to be able to do, almost enough that you could forget about the world outside and just exist in that little bubble for a while.

You lead Joel’s horse inside, hearing it trample the door again, and hang up his saddle next to the stable. Joels horse is much like him— quiet unless provoked. You found it out the hard way when you first led it in with a routinely aggressive horse, thinking it’s demeanour would calm him down. The next morning you woke up to two very angry horses and a half bent gate of steel.

“Saved you your favourite spot.” You say to his horse, Old Beardy. You never asked how Joel picked the name, but for some reason it worked so well— at least, he was definitely older than most. “See? He’s right up there.”

The stable at the back was angled just right so that the small window at the height of a horses head pointed directly towards Joel’s porch. Not close enough to see anything other than the outside, but enough that you know it’s there. You don’t come in here often, Joel always taking his own horse in, but when you do you can’t help but notice the instant calming effect it has on Beardy— you might have more in common with this horse than half the people in Jackson.

When you find your way back to the front, Joel’s footsteps are trudging back down the hill. You’ll be fairly useless as anything other than company while he fixes the door, but you can’t seem to stop your heart from racing a million miles a minute as he gets closer and closer. Yes, he makes you forget about everything on the outside, but that’s mainly due to how insane he drives you. All those conversations in the stables and too long looks in town are just all too consuming, and now, when you see him come into sight, you have to put some physical difference between him and you.

“You don’t have to, Joel. Really, I’m sure someone’ll—“

“No, they won’t. Knowin’ the people around here, you’ll be sleepin’ on the floor till next year.” He bends down, and you drop yourself back to the floor and stare in some kind of mesmerised silence as he runs his hands over the broken hinges of the door.

In a few passing thoughts you’d never admit to yourself, you have an obsession with his hands. He was just so…capable. He could do so many things so easily— and some kind of backward wire in your brain fizzled with electricity at the sight of him in his element. He starts fiddling with tools, first starting to remove the broken hinge, muscles flexing as he tears off the old bolts.

“What happened?” He says, the words muffled by the screwdriver in his mouth.

“I have no clue. When I woke up this morning it was blown in. I spent a good hour trying to move it but it’s so—“ With one arm, he pulls it up to stand vertical, a fist wrapping around the edge of the gate. It doesn’t even look like he tried. “—heavy.”

“Come ‘ere and hold it straight.” He says, keeping one arm out in front of him, the other still holding the door up. “I won’t let it fall. Come on.”

“Like this?” You say, staring down at him as you finally reach the door and take a little bit of the weight. He flicks his eyes up, nodding and shifting on his knees to get a better angle on the door.

“Perfect.” He says softly, looking up at you for another split second before clearing his throat and screwing on a new hinge.

“You really didn’t have to do this, but thank-you.” Joel shakes his head, his fingers fiddling with a latch.

“Least I can do. Everyone should be up here helpin’ you anyways.” He stands up, and with only a barrier the width of a gated door, you can feel his body heat keeping you warm when he towers over you. “Keep holding it still.”

“Yeah.” You manage, eyes fluttering closed. “People help, though.”

“Oh, I bet.” He says, sarcasm dripping off his words as he laughs dryly.

“They do! Sometimes… I mean, it’s not their fault. I’m kind of a hermit up here. I don’t really make an effort, so I can’t blame them.” He stops working, his knuckles white over the railing of the gate, and looks to you.

“You’ve trained all these new horses to track better than those guys ever could. They’d die out there without ‘em. Carl doesn’t know his left from right— he got lost eight times last patrol. It’s cause of your horses he got back safe.” Joel’s face is more serious, his eyes sharp but still with a hint of softness that he often looks at you with. “Doesn’t matter if you ain’t makin’ friends. This ain’t middle school, and people should be helpin’ you no matter what. Least of all fixing a door.”

“That’s why I keep you around, Joel.” You smile lightly, his voice getting lower the angrier he gets.

“Good. You tell me next time, and I’ll come round and help. Avoid the whole town all together.” You hum, letting go of the gate as he hauls it up in the air and shuffled backward, setting it against the hinges. “How do you know so much about horses?”

“I lived on a farm, way back when. Besides, they’re easy to navigate once you get to know them.” Joel puts the screwdriver back in his mouth, and you can’t help but stare at him. The small scars on his face, peppered around his cheeks. Some are older, worn and faded, while the one across his nose is new. It’s not even scarred yet, still fresh

“You okay?” He says softly, tilting his head.

“Your face.” His eyebrows furrow, and you shake your head. “Sorry. You… did something happen on patrol? You have a cut—“

“Just a few clickers. Real old, hauled up in a caravan out west. Nothing we couldn’t handle.” The door drops into place, and he swings it out towards him. It sounds less squeaky than it usually did. “Good as new.”

“You should clean it.” You say, worry edging in your voice. “If it was clickers.”

“I’m fine.” He shrugs it off.

“Come on. It’s the least I can do. I have a first aid kit in the back, and then we can call it even.” He relents, locking the door behind him and stepping further into the stables. “Sit. I’ll get the kit.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You can hear a small smirk on his voice, and you roll your eyes, turning around to find the kit. “Why you got a first aid kit in here anyways?”

“You’re using it now, aren’t you?” You turn around, raising your eyebrows. “You’d be surprised how many people come here before going to medical. I started to stock up a little, do what I can. It’s not much, but I can clean it off and do some botched stitches until they see a real doctor.”

“And none of those guys came up to fix the god damn door?” He was getting angry again, and you tried to ignore the shiver that went up your spine when he spoke like that.

He was sitting on a small stool, putting him about waist height. When you stepped closer, shuffling your feet on the floor, he tilted his head up. His open legs invited you closer, nearly drawing you in with a magnetic field he was completely unaware of.

Armed with a cotton ball and disinfectant, your fingers were light enough to breeze along his jaw to hold him in place. He stares up at you, watching your eyes as they flit between the cut on his nose and his wandering gaze. His face is warm when you work up the courage to place your palm on his cheek, thumb gently smoothing over the salt and pepper flecks of his beard. He doesn’t flinch away when you press the cotton ball to his face, swiping across the bridge of his nose.

“Does it hurt?” You whisper, feeling the need to keep your voice low.

“No.” He does the same, the heat of his body making you shuffle slightly closer. His hands are in fists on his knees, like he’s straining to keep himself still. “Told you it was fine.”

“And I told you I wanted to help.” When you’re satisfied with the results, you take a fresh cotton pad and dry it up. “You might need stitches. It’s deep.”

“Go on.” He says, and you lean back, eyes wide.

“You want me to stitch your face together?”

“Good practise, and I trust you.” The simple words have your heart slamming against your rib cage, but instead of showing it you kneel in between his legs and search the contents of the kit for a needle.

“If I mess up your face, you knew what you signed up for.” When you find what you’re looking for, you straighten, Joel’s face is right in front of you. It takes you a second to realise just how close he is, and the position isn’t lost on him either. It’s probably the most emotive you’ve seen him, his jaw going tight from how hard he’s biting down.

“It’s already messed up. You’re fine.” He manages, his voice strained.

“Hold still.” Whispering the words, you lean closer and bring the needle to his skin. His eyes close, and it’s when you press the point into his nose that his hands shoot out in front of him, holding your hips gently.

“Sorry. Shit—“

“It’s fine. Are you okay?” He grunts in a way you think is affirming, so you keep threading the needle. You only need one stitch for a spot this small. “Your face isn’t messed up.”

“Huh?”

“It’s not. Messed up.” You feel his thumbs stroke along the bone of your hip just once before he stills again. You tie off the stitch, and his eyes open. “There. You’re pretty again.”

Your breathing was rapid even though you didn’t have a true reason for it, but neither of you moved. His hands— strong and so fucking capable, holding you still on your knees in front of him. His eyes were pools, inviting you in with a gleam of something shiny, and where you were nearly gasping he was calm and collected. In his element, like he was right where he should be.

The whole stable was a dull orange now, the colours dusting through the strands of Joel’s hair. It’s never really sitting right, wind whipping it out of control on patrol, but you have the urge to run your hands through it anyway. You let yourself explore one small piece of him, like he has to you, and your fingertips run back over the shell of his ear, tangling in his hair. He sucks in a short breath, leaning into the hold of your hand.

“Joel.” You say, voice so soft he would of never heard you if you weren’t so close, but you call for him and he leans closer. Your foreheads nearly touch, and his hands tighten their hold on you.

“Thank you, darlin’.” You sigh deeply, unable to keep yourself upright at the nickname. It rings through you, his accent strong and adding an entire other layer to why he’s so easy to fall into. You don’t even really notice how dark it’s gotten— you usually have sprinted home by now. But Joel’s here, and with him this close, you can’t think of anything else. He leans closer, and your eyes flutter closed.

“Can I kiss you?” He says, the brush of his lips against yours sending a tidal wave of need from your head to your feet.

“Only if you hurry up.” You answer helplessly, voice cracking, and he smiles against you and finally brings his mouth to yours.

It’s anything but calm. That peaceful energy of the stables is completely shattered and sorted into something electrical and sizzling. He yanks you forward, bodies pressing together as you use the leverage of your hand fisted in his hair to kiss him harder and deeper. It doesn’t take long before his tongue is swiping along your bottom lip, seeking permission.

You let him in— you’d let him do whatever he asked for if he kept pouring himself into you like this. He tasted good, which should be impossible but when you’ve been starved of something for this long it doesn’t matter what he does it’s just that he’s giving it to you. He moves his hands to the small of your back, pressing your hips right in the middle of his open legs, his other hand on the back of your head.

You feel him groan when you press together, the sound waking up parts of you that had been dormant for far too long. It was like he had access to each nerve in your body, and every little sound or touch had them blaring red and sparking.

“Fuck, darlin’. Come closer.” He groans into your mouth before kissing you again. You smile for a moment, not entirely sure how you could get any closer, and then it’s wiped off when he hauls you upward, hooking your legs around his waist on the stool. “Yeah. Right here.”

Your arms cling around his neck, his own searching up and down your body. Your shirt rides up with the movements and you moan every time he grazed along your skin. There’s something equally hard and soft about his hands— rough from years of work but soft with the way they hold you up, how they’re careful not to dip too low or high. You arch your back, giving him wordless permission, and he groans into your mouth again.

At some point you have to breath— both of you gasping for air in the quiet of the darkened stables. He brings his hands to your face, holding you against his forehead so he can look into your eyes. He was smiling too— like actually smiling, not that half smirk you’ve seen so often.

“What are we doin’?” He laughs, kissing you again.

“I don’t know, but can we keep going somewhere that doesn’t smell like horse shit?” You whisper and he laughs again. It’s sounds so good— like the sound of the beginning of your favourite song. It makes your heart sing, melting you into the tune. “Please, Joel. I really want…”

“Tell me, baby.” He moves, angles your head with swift moves of his fingers so he can kiss you lower. Under your jaw, and then he drags his mouth down, along your neck, teeth nipping softly… “Fuck knows I wanna hear you say it.”

“You. I really want you.” He hums against your skin, one arm hooking under your ass as he stands easily. You squeal, muffling the sound in the mop of hair on his head. As you walk outside, there’s only a few people still mulling around, and they turn their heads towards you when they hear your soft laughter mixed with Joel’s— two sounds that seem to alarm them more than clickers.

For the first time since you’d been here, you really don’t care if people are looking at you, or what they’re saying. When Joel locks the gate behind you and slides you down his chest to let your feet touch the floor, you are reminded once again of his ability to remove every single thought from your mind except him. Just him, and his hands on your hips, spinning you around and leading you up the hill towards his house. How every so often he’ll bend down, pressing his lips lightly to the back of your neck, and how you can feel his smile on your skin.

He guides you easily, your body on auto pilot to his small gestures, and when you finally rush up the few steps of his porch— one you’ve spent way too much time staring at from afar, you’re both attached to each others face like horny teenagers. He fumbles with the doors lock, jamming keys with aggressive force while his other hand stays soft and sweet on your waist, holding you against him. When the door gives out behind you he never lets you stumble, taking you in his stride with practised precision. You’ve seen the inside of his house, but never the layout, so as he guides you blindly through the hallway, your shut eyes and occupied mouth never see it coming when you fall backwards onto a bed.

“Let me take this off.” He mumbles against your lips, tugging at your shirt and jacket. In a tangle of limbs you both shove at the material, finally hooking it over your head. He presses you flat against the mattress again, hanging over you and running his hands up and down your sides in long, soothing strokes. “God damn gorgeous.”

“Your turn.” The blaze in his eyes dulls slightly at your comment, and he just bends to kiss you again. He links your hands in his own, pulling you away from where they were tugging at his shirt. “Joel.”

“Nothin’ there you wanna see, baby. Just let me look at you.” As sweet as his voice sounds, and as much as you want him to continue, you pull away from his greedy mouth.

“Please take your fucking shirt off.” You say harshly, biting at his bottom lip hard enough for his eyes to open again. He looks over you, taking in the sight of you under him with your arms pinned above your head, back arched towards him. He’s clearly contemplating how difficult it would be to ignore you, smirking a little when he looks up at your hands again.

“Or what? You gonna make me stop?” He kisses under your jaw, his free hand skating along your side, only stopping when his fingers reach the hem of your jeans. When he hears you gasp as his hand disappears under the fabric, he laughs. “Nah, you won’t make me stop. Want it just as bad as I do, don’t you?”

“But I want—“

“Shh, shh. I’ll give you what you want.” His mouth his dizzying— words and movements hot against your skin as his hand bypasses your underwear and drags slow circles against your clit, immediately drawing his name from your lips again. “There you go, darlin’. Feels good?”

“God— yeah, faster. Please.” Your chest was rising and falling so fast, trying to pull the air he was punching out of your lungs with every quick movement of his fingers. He hums at the praise, and you feel him shift above you, sitting up so he could slip one finger inside of you. “Fuck, Joel!”

“I know, baby.” He tilts his head up to kiss you again, tongue matching the fast and unpredictable pace of his hand. You can feel it building— pleasure rippling up your spine and fizzing low in your stomach, and your hands tug under Joel’s unrelenting grip.

He seems to forget he was meant to be holding you, his groans and concentration all focused on the way he was fucking you with his hand, so he lets you go, his hand going to hold your face. It makes you smile under him, but it quickly gets lost when you moan his name again, rolling your hips against him.

Now your hands are free, you have a moment of clarity when your eyes flutter open and see him staring at you; eyes flitting between your face and your chest. You want to have that— to see skin you’ve only thought about in the late hours of the night when you were alone, never admitting it to yourself when you woke the next day. You grab onto the hem of his shirt, ripping the denim up as far as you can, getting your hands on the bare skin of his back.

He doesn’t help you— too obsessed with the way you are writhing and moaning so loud the poeple down the street will know what your doing. Neither of you care about anything else than this, right here, and the fiery hot spark that’s lighting you up inside.

“Shirt, Joel.” You tug at the collar, then card your fingers through his hair and pull. He grumbles something, and then you whimper when his hand leaves you and he sits up on his knees. He was out of breath, towering over you and keeping you caged underneath him as he tore the shirt over his head and threw it behind him. When he leans back down, he doesn’t give you the time to admire him that you’d like, but you take what he gives you. He shoves your own jeans down, shaking them off you in one tug, and your eyes hardly have time to open before you feel the backs of your calves press against the flexing muscles of his bare shoulders.

“Perfect.” He says, speech almost slurred, and the look he gives you reminds you of the one he gave you in the barn. Before you can think enough on it, both of his hands hold your hips down and he gives you one last look before he buried his face in your pussy.

It doesn’t take much to have you screaming his name again, that sweet hot pleasure that was building so quickly comes rushing back with the wet heat of his mouth. He eats you out like he’s fucking hungry for it— pulling borderline shouts from deep in your chest, like something is bashing against your ribcage, only awoken by his complete and utter devotion. His tongue swirls and fingers curl, and you lose sense of direction, clawing at his hair and feeling his groan when you pull him into you.

There’s no where to go, stuck under his weight as he dives into your taste, at his mercy entirely. It was so different to see him undone— a sight you wouldn’t be able to forget next time he came into the stables all soft eyes and short words. No, here he was holding your eye contact, groaning your name as if you were the one doing this to him. He gave you no choice but to hurtle towards the edge of consciousness, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hold out under him much longer.

“Joel. Joel— fuck.” His lips wrap around your clit, sucking gently while his fingers curl inside you in a spot that has you seeing stars. “Oh, god—“

He doesn’t say anything when you cum, just groans into your pussy as he guides you through it. He sets pace and intensity, both of which are hard and almost unbearable, and he only drags himself away when you beg him to. Your legs shake, his hands smoothing over your thighs as his mouth presses wet kisses up your skin, over your stomach and chest, finally reaching your mouth with an overwhelming force.

You hum, tasting the combination of you and him together on his tongue, taking everything he needs to give you. He shuffles up, and you feel his cock pressing hard against your thigh, still straining in his jeans. You let him kiss you lazily, let him explore you this way while your hands busy themselves between your bodies, unzipping his jeans. When your palm brushes over his length still covered by his boxers, he hisses and his eyebrows furrow, like the pleasure is almost painful. You do it again and he shudders, pressing his forehead to yours.

“You’re so soft.” He murmurs past your ear when you slip your hand under the waistband. When your fingers wrap around him, you stay true to his word and stay light with your touch, not wanting him to finish just yet. You want to make it good for him— draw it out. Pay him back for everything he gave to you; not just tonight, but every night. “So fucking soft. Sweet.”

“You like that?” You ask innocently, stroking him again. Your thumb brushes over his tip and he shudders again, nearly shivering. “I can be gentle. Want you inside me, though.”

“Whatever you want. Fuck— anything you want to do to me. Please, baby. Not gonna last long if you keep doing that.” A single please was enough to grant him a thousand wishes, but you’ll settle for giving him just one.

He helps rid himself of the rest of his clothes, no insecurity in sight with the lower half of his body. There was no need to be… he was big. It made sense— he was a big guy, but it wasn’t just that. He was just… perfect.

“Eyes on me.” He says, pulling your gaze away from where your bodies are about to meet. “I want to see your face when I…”

He trails off when his tip lines up with your entrance. You bite your lip in anticipation, feeling the soaked pleasure coating him as he finally slides himself further and further. You both sigh, like a weight is being lifted from both of you. As if this was the way you were both meant to be.

He bottoms out, head buried in the crook of your neck as he chokes out your name. You feel full— the weight and stretch holding you to the bed, your arms strung lazily around his neck. Your fingers wander down his spine, keeping that soft lilt to your touch that he seems to thrive under. For all his hardness and strength, it’s the lightest touches that seem to crumble him the most.

“Fuck, baby. Feel so good around me.” Joel never speaks for the fun of it, but he says these things like he needs to. Strained and focused, like it’s a compulsion to tell you how good it feels. “Needed to fuck you for so long. You gonna let me make you feel good, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Joel. Please, I need— need you to move.” You whine like a spoilt child, and you are now that you’ve had a taste. He laughs once, a breathless sound, and then pulls out nearly all the way, only to slide back in with that same trained pace.

“Good girl.” He groans, and then picks up the pace.

It’s devastating. It’s the only way to describe it. He fucks you hard and slow, slowly etching himself into parts of your being you aren’t entirely sure he didn’t just create himself. Like he’s forged apart of you just for him, something low and hot, and he hits it with every, perfectly timed thrust. The bed rocks under him, but he doesn’t seem to care. Its creaks and groans are drowned out by his words and both of your moans.

You are incoherent— overcome by pleasure that shocks even the nerves in your fingers and toes, but it seems to have the opposite effect on Joel. He doesn’t fucking shut up— and it’s about the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced.

“So fucking tight around me.”

“God, you feel good.”

“You are so beautiful.”

“Gonna fuck you for days.” Is the last one you hear before his groans turn to borderline whimpers, his pace stuttering as you feel the coil in your stomach tighten and snap all at once. “Oh, fuck that’s it. Cum again for me. Jesus Christ—“

“Joel.” You can only whisper now— voice so strained that nothing could come out but his name. Your eyes roll back and you feel him fuck into you one or two more times, and then he pulls out and replaces himself with his hand. You ride out your pleasure on his skilled fingers, another wave of heat numbing you when you feel him spill onto your stomach, your back arching off the bed.

The room is suddenly dead quiet, nothing but panting breaths filling the silent house. He is still hanging over you, you can feel both of his forearms next to your head as he leans down to kiss you again. The warmth of his body is lifted just enough for him to use something soft to clean you off, and then he collapses beside you, tugging you onto his chest.

He runs his hand through your hair, stopping at your jaw to tilt you up. He kisses you again, the lack of oxygen making you giddy and dizzy, and you break the kiss only because your smiling so wide.

“What’s so funny?” He says, trying to be serious, but even in the dark you can see his matching grin.

“Just happy. Can I be happy?” It’s meant to be light hearted, but you feel him stop for a second, and then he tugs you a little closer.

“Yeah. Yeah, you can be.” He tucks you under his chin, sighing deeply as the rest of your body turns into him and tangles itself with him. “I am.”

You open your eyes a final time, seeing the pitch black dark outside. If it was light, you’d be able to see the stable from here, but it’s black out there. Usually it would make you uneasy, but tucked up under Joel’s safe arms, there’s nothing in the world that could make you feel more at peace.

[buckyysdoll]

— touchy, softly possessive joel — pre!outbreak headcanons;

MAIN MASTERLIST

જ⁀➴ pictures are of no relation to size/race/age or anything else! if u like this it’s v similar to my post about being married to pre-outbreak joel miller! <3 cw: nothing really! implied sexual tension, that’s it <33 i want him so bad i’m biting my phone

❧ — is always, always wanting to touch you whenever you’ll let him (which is, obviously, always)

❧ — as in, just any skin to skin contact between you is what grounds him. keeps him steady, and strong.

❧ — a hand on the small of your back as you’re navigating crowds, or as he’s holding a door open for you to pass through.

❧ — holding hands as often as you can, even if it’s linked fingers, or just pinkies. any contact.

❧ — playing with each other’s hands almost unconsciously, too; he does it when you’re out with friends and sat beside one another. he’ll tap your fingers and intermittently bring the back of your hand to his mouth for a soft, quick kiss.

❧ — you also hold hands walking and joel does the thumb rub thing :’)

❧ — we’ve already established that joel is a soft, attentive lover and that’s no different outside the bedroom ;’)

❧ — pulls your feet into his lap when you flop down onto the couch beside him. will stroke and massage them to soothe as you tell him all about your hard day, and you’ll groan at the feeling cos god, does this man love you. joel miller loves you.

❧ — pulls you into a slow dance in the kitchen every opportunity he can get. he’d give up his life just to hear your startled laughter each time he sweeps your hand up, leads your feet

❧ — joel always puts his arm along the back of your table booth when dining out with friends — so softly possessive 😵‍💫 it’s his way of showing who you’re out with without staking claim in a more obvious way

❧ — although he’s definitely prepared for that, too. part two on jealous joel incoming soonnnn! ;)

❧ — in any case, he’ll settle for a hand on your thigh beneath the table, thumb brushing the inside seam of your jeans in steady strokes, back and forth. he knows how this gets you, and deliberately won’t look in your direction. you can see his smirk, though 😵‍💫

❧ — joel does the same while driving and it often leads to rather unsavoury roadside acts 🫣

❧ — also just kisses your hand with his eyes on the road — above your interlocked fingers. so too will he move those same joined hands to the gearstick without having to separate for a second. cos this is hot

❧ — kisses you on the lips every morning before work. will not leave without it, literally ever

❧ — if for any reason he couldn’t (like before you lived together) it would literally set the precedent for the whole rest of his day :(

❧ — when you’re pregnant, he does the same but kneels and kisses your stomach first, then your forehead or lips

❧ — always wants to hold you when you’re sleeping too, like every night without fail. he also never wants to let you leave in the morning and will groan like a baby, but you love it.

❧ — his arm is literally like a vice around your waist, warm and heavy and it’s the safest place in the whole entire world, to your eyes.

❧ — quick gestures of affection all the time. physical touch as his main love language ! forehead and temple kisses, kisses to the crown of your head, the inside of your wrists

❧ — joel inhales the scent of your hair all the time !! it’s his comfort just to drown in your nearness. he wraps his arms tight around you from behind, with his face in your neck and his stubble all scratchy :’)

❧ — holds your waist, has his hands on your hips as he gently moves behind you, as he tries to get past 🫠

❧ — is always mindful of making sure that you want to be touched before he does, though. that man can read you like a book, and knows all your tells; knows the silent language your body speaks

❧ — he’ll lay on the couch and just open his arms for you to come into after a long day; and again — it’s genuinely the safest place on earth, in his arms, in his scent.

❧ — maybe more will come later !??? -> more along the lines of insecure (jealous 🤭) joel xox

[livyjh]

Temptation ch.2

Co-written with @fhatbhabie

No Outbreak!Dbf!Joel x Fem!Plus size!Reader

Series Masterlist

Rating: EXPLICIT 18+

Summary: After you break things off with your toxic boyfriend, you move back home with your dad. His best friend and neighbor, Joel Miller, takes an interest in you. But you’re the one who has to convince him to make the first move.

A/N: okay, we’re too excited for you guys to read more so we will be posting a new chapter (on this account) every 4 or 5 days. Reminder: reader and Sarah are both in their mid 20s, Joel is in his mid 50s, reader’s dad is in his early 50s.

Chapter warnings: teasing, a little roughness, talk of food/cooking/eating, mention of boner 👀

Divider art by: @saradika

Over the next couple weeks you leave your curtains open all day, every day.

You never do catch Joel watching you, but you’ve seen him sleeping a couple of times. He goes to sleep around 9pm, you’ve noticed. You’re still looking for a job so you stay up late pretty much every night.

You’ve made a habit of changing clothes in front of the window, usually faced away so that Joel thinks you don’t know he’s watching. He’s gotta be watching…

Sarah comes back from college today which meant you’d definitely be seeing Joel sometime this week for dinner with him, Sarah, and your dad.

Like she read your mind, Sarah sent you a text.

Sarah: picking up Starbucks. Almost home. Want anything?

You: iced chai latte. You’re a lifesaver!

In a matter of 10 minutes you heard the honk of a small car outside.

You went out and noticed Joel’s truck was gone. He must still be at work today. It was nearing 3pm which meant he’d hopefully be home in a couple hours or so.

“Sarah!” You smile as you walk across the yard to her car.

“Hey!” She shouts back with a grin.

You round her side of the car and give her a hug.

“Girl, what have you been doing?” Sarah pulls back and looks you up and down.

“What do you mean?” You blush a little.

“You’re just like… way hot.” She laughs.

“Oh, you know, had that post breakup makeover and here I am.” You flip your hair dramatically.

“Okay, well you’re gonna have to tell me how to make my boobs look like yours.” She giggles and reaches into the car before leaning back out and handing you your drink.

“Ha. Thanks.” You smile. “How much do I owe you?”

“You’re kidding.” She snorts and closes the driver door before opening the trunk. “It’s on me.”

“Thank you.” You nod. “Can I help carry anything?”

“Nah, I’m okay. Thanks though.” She pulls a medium sized suitcase and a small backpack out of her trunk. She slings the backpack over her shoulder before walking past you toward the house.

You guys talked from time to time but you hadn’t had the chance to tell her you moved back yet.

“You just happen to be visiting right now, or…?” Sarah asked.

You followed her into the house after she unlocked the door. “Uh… no. Actually I moved back in with my dad a couple weeks ago.”

“What about Thomas?” She asks.

You rub the back of your neck awkwardly as she sets her things down. “We broke up. It was… messy.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, Y/n.” She frowns.

“I’ve realized pretty quickly that I’m better off without him.” You shrug.

“Good.” She nods. “Good for you.” She takes a sip of her coffee and sits on the couch, patting the spot next to her.

You sat down by her and she turned on the tv to a music station. “Alright. Tell me everything.”

You took a deep breath and a long sip from your iced latte. “Okay…”

You tell her all the details. The way that your boyfriend had stopped caring about you; both in bed and out of it. The way he would spend way more time out with his friends than with you. Stopped holding your hand in public. All the bullshit he put you through.

Sarah then told you about the nasty breakup with her boyfriend that she’d been dating since senior year of high school.

“At least you didn’t get cheated on.” Sarah frowned. “But still, I’m sorry you went through that.”

“Same to you. Men are… the worst.” You roll your eyes.

“The worst, right?!” She laughs.

You giggle too but stop when you hear the front door open. You turn to look and see Joel stopped in his tracks in the doorway.

“Dad!” Sarah jumps up and runs over to Joel to hug him.

“Hey, honey.” He smiles and hugs her back, sneaking a glance at you. A glance that didn’t go unnoticed by you.

You feel yourself start to blush so you look away, reading the music related fun fact on the bottom of the tv screen.

“So glad to have you home.” Joel says as he and Sarah both pull out of the hug.

“Me too.” She nods.

“Hi, Y/n.” Joel gives you a modest wave.

“Hi, Mr. Miller.” You give him a half smile, trying to seem unbothered. After all… he is old. Maybe he just forgot to text you back… but you doubt it.

Sarah doesn’t pick up on the slight tension in the room, thankfully. “Okay, dad, we have to have spaghetti for dinner tonight.”

“Gonna have to run out for some bread and sauce.” Joel tells her.

“I can grab it.” You stand up. “Been meaning to run to the store anyways.”

“Thanks, Y/n.” Sarah smiles.

You nod and head for the door now that Joel was out of the way. “See you guys in an hour.”

“Bye!” Sarah calls as you close the door behind you to leave.

***

You go to the store for bread and spaghetti sauce, also picking up a few snacks and hygiene items for yourself. When you get home you decide to change your bra out for a push-up. Not that you really needed it, but… you wanted to show off to Joel tonight.

You left the rest of your outfit the same, not wanting anyone to say anything about you changing between an hour ago and now.

You were in a black v-neck shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. Around your wrist is a dainty chain bracelet. You’re wearing some purple converse too. Your hair is down, kind of wavy at the moment.

Looking over yourself in your mirror, you decide you look good. You hear your dad come in the house and you go downstairs to greet him.

“Hey.” You say as you walk into the kitchen to see your dad grabbing a beer from the fridge. “Long day at work?” You laugh.

“You have no idea.” Your father shakes his head.

“Spaghetti at the Miller’s tonight. Let’s go.” You smile and grab the food off the counter.

“Sounds good. I didn’t know what I was going to have for dinner anyways.” Your dad shrugs and follows you next door.

You knock and then let yourself in. “Hello!” You call out as you walk in.

“Come on in!” Joel calls from the kitchen.

You and your dad go into the house and past the living room to the kitchen.

“Hey!” Sarah smiles wide. “Oh hey, Mr. Y/l/n!”

“Sarah.” Your dad grins and gives her a hug.

You and Joel make eye contact across the room until Sarah’s head moves back and blocks your vision of him. She looks at you. “Thanks for going to the store.” She takes the bag from your hands.

“Totally.” You nod with a smile.

You see Sarah walk over to the stove where Joel looks to be stirring noodles. She elbows his side and whispers something.

“Uh, yeah, thank you.” Joel smiles at you.

You stifle a laugh. “…anything we can help with?”

“Yeah, you guys butter and season the bread. Noodles and sauce are almost done.” Sarah says as she pours the jar of sauce into a pan of cooked, ground hamburger meat.

You grab the bread, getting next to Joel to open the fridge and get the butter. “Can you hand me a couple knives?” You turn to Joel.

He doesn’t look directly at you, one hand still stirring the noodles while the other reaches into a drawer on his right to grab two knives. He hands them to you. “There ya go.”

“Thanks, Mr. Miller.” You smile even though he can’t see it.

You all finish preparing dinner, then plate up and move to the dining room to a square table. Joel sits on your left, Sarah across from you, and your dad on your right.

You all start to dig in, finally making some small talk as you got more and more full.

“How’s school going?” Your dad asks Sarah.

“Fantastic. I’ve got a prototype made for a little project I’m doing. It’s gonna change the game on microbiology.” She answers with a smug grin.

“I’d love to see it.” Your dad says.

“Okay!” Sarah replies excitedly as she stands. “Come on, it’s in my car.”

Your dad gets up and before you or Joel could say anything, the two are headed for the front door and out to Sarah’s car.

You don’t know what gives you the bravery to do it, but you say something to Joel after a couple moments of silence. “You never texted me back.”

Joel’s head snaps up, his eyes shooting to yours from his plate. “Huh?” He visibly blushes.

“I asked you a question and you never answered.” You shrug.

“I don’t…” he sighs. “I can’t be lookin’ at you like that. ‘S not appropriate.”

You lean back in your chair with a laugh and a shake of your head. You roll your eyes and then focus them on Joel once more. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t fuck me… right here, right now, if given the opportunity?” You cross your arms over your chest and press your tits together even more.

His eyes glance down at your cleavage for just a moment.

“Honey, you couldn’t handle what I want to give you.” Joel taunts.

You’re the one blushing now. You gulp and sit up, reaching under the table to put a hand on his thigh.

He suddenly grabs your wrist, tight, gripping it so hard you could feel your bracelet making indents in your skin. You look up at him through your lashes, “I’m sure I can handle more than you think. Look at me, you won’t break me… Mr. Miller.” You smirk and grip his thigh.

His hand tightens around your wrist.

“Okay, that- that kinda hurts.” You laugh nervously.

He tosses your hand away. “Told you.” He sneers.

Fuck. That was some sort of test? Shit, you liked the pain but you thought it best to let him know he was hurting you. Your panties were slick with wetness at this point and all you wanted to happen was for him to bend you over the table and have his way with you.

Sarah and your father walk back inside as if on queue, still deep in conversation about microorganisms and different things they do and how to study them. You have a hard time keeping up, not really interested in the subject as much.

They sit back down at the table as they bring their conversation to a pause.

Sarah looks around at all three of you. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure-“ your dad starts.

You interrupt him. “Actually… I’m not feeling very good. I think I’m gonna go to bed early.” You grab your stomach to imply that it was hurting.

“Aww, sorry sweetie.” Your dad pats your shoulder.

“I’ll be alright. Just need to lay down.” You smile weakly and get up. “Bye, guys.”

As you walk to the door you hear all three of them, even Joel, say either goodnight or goodbye.

You walk home across the yard and head up to your room. You get out your laptop, strip out of your pants and sit in your bed watching Netflix for a little bit. You pause it when something catches your eye.

Joel’s bedroom light.

You saw it turn on in your peripheral and then looked up, watching Joel walk into his room and close the door behind himself.

You watch as he takes off his shirt and sits down on his bed, facing you.

He leans over and puts his elbows on his knees before rubbing his eyes.

You get up and stand by your window, hoping he’ll glance your way. He finally looks up, doing a double take when he sees you.

You bite your lip, locking eyes with him as you slowly run your palms up your sides and over your breasts. You see him mouth the word “fuck.”

You gave him a small smirk and slipped off your t shirt leaving you in just your bra and panties. The bra you had on was a bit too small having your breast pudging out of the tops of the cups. You looked over at Joel and felt his eyes burning holes into your skin. You gave him a small wave and quickly closed the curtains leaving him alone in his room with his cock trying to break itself free from his jeans.

[imyourrjoy]

𝙸𝚖𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚓𝚘𝚢'𝚜 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙲𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

꧁⋆⊱❪🪦☎️🕯🩹🩸🔪🎃❫⊰⋆꧂

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍂๋࣭ ⭑⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Get ready for October, my loves. Not only is it my birthday month, but it's my favorite month, so I have a lot planned,

To be added to the taglist comment or reach out 🫶🏻

Requests 🍂⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍂๋࣭ ⭑⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍂๋࣭⭑⋆.ೃ

Open requests for......

Criminal minds (all characters)

The last of us (all characters)

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍂๋࣭ ⭑⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Request are a whole other thing you can Request anything and will still have my kinktober fics (probably will be like 3-5) ALL REQUESTS WILL BE DRABBLES OR WILL TRY AND BE!!!

Now....

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍂๋࣭ ⭑⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Knife/ 🔪 - DARKKKKKK, however dark you want, I'm ok with writing anything dark, but I draw the line at incest and body fluids

Tombstone/🪦 - Major character death fic or reader death involved

Blood/🩸- Vampire, any type of vampire allowed killer, lover any

Band aid/🩹 - comfort of any form, comfort sex, cuddles anything

Let the light in/🕯- a fic based on a song lyric

Telephone/ ☎️ - a Texting fic

꧁⋆⊱❪🪦☎️🕯🩹🩸🔪🎃❫⊰⋆꧂

Pumkin/🎃 - holloween or fall themed fic

🥧/ Cherrypie - Other......

Kinktober masterlist.........

꧁⋆⊱❪🪦☎️🕯🩹🩸🔪🎃❫⊰⋆꧂

[lisacomeuseucu]

Curses pt2

• Fear Street. 1978 - "I swear, if I could I would change their story, I would try to make them live" That's what she said to herself.

It's been three days since I arrived at the camp, I've been getting along with the main ones, especially Tommy and Ziggy, they're the people I get along with the most, Ziggy a day later came after me to thank me for saying those things to Sheila, but I said I just told her what she deserves. I'm helping some children with some drawings they're doing but I'm going to leave soon, I'm next to the chubby boy with glasses, I feel embarrassed for having forgotten his name but as he doesn't appear much in the film itself it was easy for me to erase him from my memory, the important thing is that I know the true focus of the story, I come out of my thoughts and look at the boy's drawing, his drawing is childish but very detailed, he made two drawings symbolizing Shadyside and Sunnyvale, which I genuinely find incredible, I come close and I crouch at his height. — " I loved your drawing! It would be a great idea for each city to have its own symbol. " I say to him with a big smile on my face, it's not the first time I've praised the things he does, it's sad that in the movie Don't show too much of his talent, he can be very intelligent in various activities, the boy gives a shy smile and looks at the drawing again, I noticed that his cheeks are pink, poor boy, he's a little shy. I leave the cabin and look around, children are running everywhere, I have to remember where Tommy is, I start to walk through the camp observing the details, children practicing archery, others are swimming in the lake, some children are playing hide and seek and others with their own games, from the corner of my eye I see Alice walking with her boyfriend, I start walking towards them, — "Alice! Where are you going?" I ask her, making the blonde turn to me, — " We're going after drugs in the infirmary, you better not tell anyone! " She points a finger in my direction and I make the zipper gesture over my mouth. — " Do you know where Tommy is? ". — " He must be doing homework with our perfect Cindy, why do you want to know about him? " She asks me, leaving me surprised, why do I want to see him? I stutter a little before responding. — " He's my friend, I want to talk to him. " I respond shyly as I start to scratch the back of my neck, Alice responds with an eye roll and goes back to walking with her boyfriend, I start walking back the cabin to see how the drawings are going when I bump into two people, Tommy and Cindy, both of them were hugging each other, — " Damn, sorry! I hadn't seen you, I was distracted, anyway, I was looking for you. Really sorry. I'm really sorry." I say with my hand on top of my chest, Cindy shakes her head in denial with a slight smile. — " It's okay, just be careful where you go. " She answers me gently. — " Why were you looking for us? " Tommy suddenly asks me. — " I wanted to spend some time with you, are you going to do anything? " I start to exchange glances from Tommy to Cindy, afraid of disturbing them. — "We're going to clean the cafeteria but if you want, you can accompany us." Cindy suggests with amusement, I quickly shake my head in agreement. — "They were very close to each other, I hope I didn't disturb any special moment." I make a sarcastic comment to try to liven up the atmosphere, Tommy laughs and then responds. — "Don't worry, you didn't disturb anything.". — "If I had gotten in the way, I would have been blaming myself all day." I answer him, smiling.

— " Miss Y/n! " I turn back when my name is called, I look down and find the same boy I praised, he has a paper in his hand. — "Ah! Hi! How can I help you?" I asked him with a gentle smile, he hands me the paper and then leaves as quickly as possible, leaving me completely confused. — "What was that?" Cindy asks me, I look at him in a daze and answer. — " II don't know... I wasn't expecting that. " I look at the paper in my hands and notice the drawing of a heart and my name written on it, — " Damn, you received a love letter! " Tommy says with a small laugh, Cindy looks at him in surprise, I start to open the paper seeing that there is a text for me to read. “Councillor Y/n, these last few days you've been making me nervous and with butterflies in my stomach, I think I've fallen in love with you, I think you're very pretty and friendly, I like being in your company. I understand that we are different ages but I still want to know if you want to be my girlfriend, Miss Y/n. " My eyes widen with each word I read out loud, Cindy is in complete shock while Tommy has an amused smile on his face, — " H/n did I receive a letter?! " I am startled by the sudden appearance of Alice in front of me, the blonde takes the paper from my hands and starts reading it, I get up and go towards her to get the letter back but she avoids it, meanwhile Tommy is having a fit of laughter as Cindy orders him to stop.

— " What are you going to do? Write another letter to the boy? " Alice asked ironically, — " No! I'm going to go after him and talk to him!! " I take the letter tightly, and put it in the pocket of my shorts, I look at it. them making an irritated face — " They shouldn't be laughing at him! It was cute, I think it's his first crush. " I scold them but I look at the floor, Cindy nods and starts talking — " She's right It's not right to make fun of us, we should talk to him and explain that we can't be together." She says looking at all of us, Alice just rolls her eyes while Tommy starts to nod, he looks like a dog always agreeing with its owner. Arnie has a smile on his face, trying to hold back his laughter, I start walking, leaving the place and looking for the boy. I've been looking for him for a few minutes now, luckily he signed his name on the paper, Jeremy, I'm sorry kid but his name is very easy to forget. I'm looking everywhere looking for him and so far I haven't found him, I think I'd better try to find him again in the cabin. The cabin is silent which means there is no one in it, for now, even so I enter, a silence cannot stop the boy from hiding here.

— "Jeremy? Are you here?" I call him to see if he appears, little by little I see half of his head appearing, he is hiding under the table, heading towards where the boy is, who is sitting on the floor hugging legs, an attitude that I believe is to hide my shame, I sit next to him looking at him, waiting for him to say something but nothing, ten seconds of silence that seem like hours. I sigh, preparing myself for what I'm going to say. — " I read your letter, I'm not mad at you, I don't want you to worry about it. " I start, Jeremy is already looking at me looking a little relieved. — " I understand you like me and are happy when I compliment you but I can't date you. " Jeremy quickly changes the direction of his gaze and starts looking at the ground. — " Jeremy, look at me. " I ordered, it took a few seconds before he looked at me again. — "I'm much older than you, it would be wrong on both sides, but I'm sure you'll find a girl your age that you'll be together with. Friends, ok?" I opened my arms, offering him a hug, Jeremy nodded in agreement and snuggled into my arms, I patted his head as a way of comforting him. — "Now let's get out of here, we'll be called to the cafeteria soon." I say while breaking the hug and standing up.

The day went by quickly, we went to the cafeteria and as soon as I sat down with the group they asked me what the whole conversation resulted in, I didn't expect them to ask all together at the same time, making me almost fall out of fright, I answered them summarizing everything I had said. It happened but the important thing was that everything had worked out in the end but Joan caught me by surprise asking me if I expected the letter to be from someone else.

— " But did you expect or expect to receive the letter from someone? Some boy? " For a moment paralyzed without any response, I was looking at the table but when I heard the question my eyes quickly went towards it. — "Well, you didn't tell us if there is any interest in anyone here at the camp, but if you don't want to tell us, that's fine! There's no need, right Joan?" Cindy tries to reassure me and discreetly threaten Joan, she rolls her eyes, we continue. putting herbs on a paper so he could smoke it, Tommy and Gary are silent but I can tell from their exchange of looks that they are both curious. My thoughts are racing, I didn't expect to receive a love letter, especially from a boy younger than me, but this doubt is in my head. Is there someone I want to receive something romantic from? It's really stupid that I start to have feelings for someone here mainly because of the end of the story, I certainly wouldn't receive a loving face from Kurt and I don't even want them to give me money! Alice certainly doesn't, she's dating, Ziggy doesn't either, much less Nick, Joan just wants to sit on Kurt, Gary, well... Probably not but if she did I'd reject it, Cindy I wouldn't be surprised but I know she has feelings for Alice, poor Tommy. Lastly, he was left, Tommy, the idea of ​​him writing a letter to me sounds cute, I don't think it would happen, now if I would reject it... I don't know... I really have no idea.

A hand starts to pass in front of my face, making me jump in fright, I look at the owner of the hand and see that it's Tommy. — " Are you okay? You've been quiet for a long time looking at the table, I started to think I was seeing something on it. " Tommy asks me worriedly but tries to make me laugh, I let out a weak laugh. — " Yes, yes, I am, I just started thinking about the question. " I answer him, making him less worried. — "Hey? Do you already have an answer?" Joan asks me, Cindy kicked her legs making her let out a low "There!". — " Well, I don't think so, no one has caught my attention like that yet. " I try to formulate the best possible answer without it seeming like I'm trying to hide something, and I'm really not, Joan just shakes her head, I don't think he believes it a lot on me. I took a quick look to the side, I see that Tommy has a strange expression on his face, perhaps disappointment? I don't know, but his reaction wasn't one of the best, meanwhile Cindy just gave me a smile in response .

Now it's night and I'm lying in bed in my cabin, Tommy's reaction stays in my head, was he disappointed with my response? Why would he be disappointed? What if he wasn't disappointed? Was he mad? Do you think I lied? I don't understand you Tommy, sometimes your reactions are confusing, other than that you are a good friend, a great friend. Sometimes I wonder a little about your past, who were you before all those events? Who are you really? Your parents or if you have a brother, if they had talked about you in the films I would have been interesting. Leaving my thoughts, I get up from my bed and go look for some pajamas to put on, before I can get any clothes I hear the sound of someone knocking on the door, I imagine it's Alice coming after me wanting some drugs. — " Get out Alice! I have nothing! " I say in a good tone so that the person on the other side can hear, — " It's me! Tommy! " I hear a male voice answering me, I stop going through my things and look towards the door that has a small glass window and in it I could see Tommy's face, a boy who is normally always smiling and happy is different, his expression on his face is one of seriousness and sadness? Sadness is not the best word.

I walk towards the door and open it for Tommy, giving him space to enter, Tommy enters keeping his head down, he is wearing a red plaid sweater. He sits on my bed and lifts his head looking towards me who is still at the door. When I close the door, I go to my bed, sitting next to Tommy, I wait for him to start talking and then he starts. — " I'm sorry I came so suddenly, I needed to talk to someone. " He says while looking at the floor of the room, his voice sounds serious, I put my hand on his shoulder and answer him — " It's okay, Tommy, something happened?" I'm worried about the subject of this conversation, I don't know what will come out of it and that scares me, it scares me a lot. Tommy takes his eyes off the floor and looks at me. — " Lately I've been feeling these confused feelings and I can't understand them, I can't understand myself! You know those moments when you realize it's supposed to be like this? I wanted to know how you know it's supposed to be like this, like you can you know?" Tommy explains the situation he is in, he was waving his hands and stuttering as he tries to explain, he is nervous, he looks into my eyes in search of an answer. I take my hand off his shoulder and place it on his cheek, stroking it. — "When you know, you know. I've had this same question thousands of times and I didn't know an answer either, but after a long time I understood, when it's supposed to be, you'll know." They watch me carefully, their gauze is softer than when they entered here. — " I understand, thanks for telling me. " He smiles, that same sweet smile he always has. — " Don't thank me. " I smile back at him, a deep exchange of glances begins to happen, our eyes never leaving each other, just looking deep into each other's soul, his eyes are like a deep sea in which I love to stay observing. Tommy comes close to me and hugs me tightly, I hug him even tighter, I smell his perfume on his plaid blouse. — " You better go before they find us and they think we're doing something stupid. " I whisper in his ear, I feel his body shaking with laughter, he lets go of me and nods and gets up heading towards the door but Before he can leave him looks at me. — "See you tomorrow." He says with a smile on his face, — "See you tomorrow." I respond, I see him leave my room and walk to his chalet. Maybe I'm just a little, a little bit, in love, but I hope not.

It's morning and I'm at the infirmary door, I sigh before opening the door. — " Infirmary Lane?! " I call out her name looking for the woman, I see her appear in the hallway after my call, — " Hi y/n, how can I help you? " The nurse asks me kindly with a smile on her face, — "I think I need a doctor." I say a little nervously, the nurse changes her expression to one of confusion. — " I'm not a doctor but I think I can help you, what happened? " She leads me to the stretcher room and makes me sit on one of them. — "My symptoms aren't that simple, no. I feel butterflies in my stomach, my hands get sweaty, I'm always distracted in my thoughts, I feel hot as if I have a fever." I answer her while fidgeting with my hands nervously, the nurse lets out a laugh which makes me look into her eyes. — " My diagnosis is that you're in love. " I raise my eyebrows in surprise, I admit that I thought it could be that but I don't want to believe it, I can't let myself be a fool. — " Is there no way to reverse it? " I ask her, making her laugh again. — No, but I recommend you find out who the boy is. " She responds with a gentle smile on her face, taking my hands and squeezing them gently so they don't hurt, I just nod my head. As I leave the ward I come face to face with Tommy talking to one of the children, noticing my figure he automatically smiles and waves his hand. Oops! I think I'm sick again.

[talaok]

i loved the hickey fic🥵

can i request a role reversal fic?

reader marks up joel and is unashamed about it

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

a/n: thank you love, hope you'll like this although its been so long you probably forgot about this. and if you're interested, this is the fic they were referring to

It was just you and Ellie in the kitchen this morning. You were laughing about another funny dream she had last night, this one involving Joel trying to tame a gigantic sheep so he could ride it or something, she didn't quite remember the purpose, not that it mattered.

But as you both quite literally felt on the verge of tears from the image the dream was painting in your minds, the main character of said dream, appeared in the doorway, throwing you both a dirty look as if watching two of the three people he loved the most in this entire world didn't fill his old heart with pure joy.

"It's too early to be this chipper" he grumbled, walking to you to leave a quick kiss on your cheek as he reached for the coffee pot behind you.

A gasp sounded from the other sound of the counter

"oh my god what happened to your neck?!" 

And it was then, that Joel Miller, the unafraid, stone-cold killer of a man that he was, turned red from hairline to neck.

"O-Oh fuck I-" His eyes widened, his hand going to cover your work on his neck, but it was all useless, because the second Ellie's eyes landed on the smirk plastered on your face, she knew.

"oh my god ew" she groaned, rolling her eyes, her focus going back to the eggs on her plate.

"You remember Janine, that woman I told you about?" you explained, talking to her

She laughed at that, remembering your conversation about that woman who's always flirting with Joel.

"you filled Joel's neck with hickeys because of her?"

Joel wasn't even red anymore, he was turning purple, his eyes were wider than a deer's caught in the headlights, and you suspected he hadn't taken a breath since he first entered the kitchen.

"this..." you smiled, trailing your fingers on Joel's neck "is my own little way of telling her to keep her hands off my man"

Joel choked, he literally choked on his own saliva and just then, just when he was about to have a heart attack, Tommy entered the house, his eyes immediately going to the image before him with more than a little amusement.

"What have I walked into?" he grinned, walking over to the kitchen "And why does my brother look a breath away from exploding?" he laughed, his hands gesturing to Joel.

"y/n here was giving me way too much information that I certainly didn't want to know" Ellie explained, looking at you pointedly for the last part of her sentence, making you chuckle.

"About what?" Tommy asked

"About the work of art I left on your brother's neck"

"wha-Ohhh" he breathed, smiling like a smug bastard as he understood what you were talking about "Janine tried something again I presume?" 

"You presume right" you smiled, giving Joel a little kiss on the cheek and stifling a smile at how terrified he seemed "for the last time"

"You ok baby?" you asked, stroking his cheek

His gaze was on Ellie, his mouth parted in shock.

"You still with us man?" she asked, giggling softly, making him shake his head to try and get his mind to start working again.

And then, then the words came tumbling off his tongue, filled with what sounded like pure panic

"S-since when do you know what a hickey is!?"

Everyone in the room except him laughed, but when the shock on his features persisted, and Ellie regained her composure, she answered.

"I'm not a kid Joel, I know what sex is"

Another pang to his poor heart, 

he felt all the organs inside him twist into a knot

what the fuck was happening?

Did she just say-

"sex!?" he cried, looking a second away from having a mental breakdown "I-I never said sex- H-how do you even know- I- You- You're too young- I-I"

"ok ok ok" you tried your best not to chuckle, intervening before his heart really decided to stop "How 'bout we go outside for a moment huh? Take a few deep breaths? How about that?" you murmured, soothingly drawing circles on his back 

He looked at you then, looking every bit as disheveled as he sounded 

"y-yeah" he swallowed thickly, "I-I think that's a good idea"

He looked back at Ellie for a moment to make sure this wasn't a nightmare and he didn't just make that up, before you both left the room.

And as if on cue, the second you did, Tommy and Ellie started laughing like maniacs.

"I don't think I've ever seen him so scared" Ellie laughed, as Tommy sat next to her, patting her back

"Neither have I" he chuckled, none of them saying anything before an idea came to his mind.

a hell of a funny one

"ten bucks if you tell him you know what porn is"

[toxicanonymity]

midnight blow

3.3k / slasher!Joel x f!reader | slasher masterlist

beautiful slasher!Joel art by @bonezone44 💙

joel master / SLASHER JOEL MASTER

Can read alone w/ recap below.

RECAP (midnight tow): You were DTF with your tow truck driver Joel, then you offended him and he almost killed you just because. You fucked for your life and promised him a bj. Now instead of strangling you and shredding your car, Joel is taking you home--just for the night, he claims.

SUMMARY: Joel takes you back to his camper and you suck him off, then go to bed with him where you find a way to take control of the whole situation and make your getaway.

WARNINGS: I8 plus, spanking, hair pulling, oral m receiving, ball sucking, face fcking, degradation, somnophilia, dubcon unsafe P in V, creampie, riding, jacking off, implicit threat of violence, the tables turn,  joel is a serial killer. NO Y/N.

dividers by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Joel drives the tow truck deep into his sprawling, dilapidated property. You’re straddling him the whole time, with his cum trickling out of you and onto his coveralls.  He opens the window and you enjoy the breeze.  Your dress is pressed up against his dirty white tshirt. Your head is over his shoulder facing the back of the truck.  You said you wanted to suck his cock, and you guess that’s what you’re going to do. Yeah, you’re letting him take you to a second location, but it feels like an improvement after having a ligature around your neck thirty minutes ago.   You’re going to have to suck it so good he falls into a coma so you can make your escape.

By the time the tow truck rolls to a stop, Joel is getting hard again beneath you, and his hips are moving, grinding into you. He cuts off the engine and puts his hands on your thighs.  You pull your head back to look at him. A toothpick rests between his teeth.  He grabs it out of his mouth with his thumb and forefinger and says, “you’re a damn good time, sugar. Lucky for you,” before throwing it out the window and returning both hands to your thighs. 

His hands slide to your ass, his hips lift into you again, and he says “Mmm.” He tilts his head back against the headrest,  falls into a trance and brings his fingers to your cheek.  He thumbs your bottom lip and you let your jaw fall open.  He wets his lips and murmurs, “you look thirsty, sweetheart. C’mon.” 

Joel pulls the handle of the truck door and pushes it open for you.  You’ve learned your lesson, and when you climb down, you stand there obediently.  It’s still dark out, and you’re parked right at the treeline in front of a small camper.  There are party lights strung outside the camper and a blue volvo parked next to it.  It’s impossible to tell how dense the woods are or how far the trees go back.

Joel hops down from the tow truck and mumbles, “good girl. smart, too. nowhere to run.” He gestures toward the camper and you obediently walk in front of him. As soon as you’re in front of him, he slaps your ass and says “Ouch!” for you.   

When you get to the door, he reaches around you to open it.  It isn’t locked.  You go inside and to the right where there’s a kitchen area.  You stand awkwardly with your arms crossed and look toward him.  There’s a sad old sofa with a folding tray in front of it and the cardboard from a Hunger Man  meal.  The windows are tilted open, and the camper smells faintly of sweat and cigarettes.  

As soon as he gets inside, he reaches over his shoulders to pull his dirty t-shirt off over his back and discards it.  Then he looks down at the crotch of his jumpsuit and slowly rubs the sticky dark blotch that rests over his hardening cock.  “Now look at this mess you made. Must’a stretched you out good.” He looks at you and his face hardens as he tells you,  “Sit down,” and points at the sofa.  You sit on the old sofa, grateful to be alive, and he disappears into the restroom. There’s a tv across from the sofa.  

-

The water turns on and off a few times, and when he comes back, he’s in dark blue joggers with no shirt.  His torso is solid, tan, with only a little chest hair and a happy trail.  He’s built, with a little bit of a belly.  His arms are hulking.  He goes to the refrigerator, pulls out a five pack of beer, and un-rings two of them. He hands one to you as he sits down.  He wants to hang out. 

He asks you what kind of tv you like. You say reality tv, the first thing that comes to mind.  

“No shit,” he nods with a contemplative frown.  You sit there and drink your beer, pretending to watch a kitchenware infomercial he seems genuinely fixated on.  When your beer’s empty, you put it on the tv dinner stand next to his can and look at him. You’ll never have more liquid courage, so you might as well make a move. 

You scoot toward him and put your hand on his closest knee then drag your fingers up his thigh. 

He tears his eyes away from the tv and whispers darkly.  “There’s my sex kitten."

You massage his inner thigh, getting closer and closer to his cock, watching the bulge in his joggers grow. Then you run your hand over it.  

You press your palm into his hard manhood, sliding over the fabric, only moving an inch in either direction as you apply pressure.  Then you cradle it with your fingers.  

His breath deepens. “Oh you’re purrin’ for it, aren’t ya, kitty.”

You nod. 

He drags the TV dinner table out of the way without standing up.  “On your knees.” 

You get on the floor between his legs and he watches with a scowl as you continue massaging him. The flickering blue light of the tv illuminates him.  Your knuckles dig into his lower belly as you hook the fingers of each hand into his waistband. 

You pull his cock out, then he holds it by the base.

With his other hand, he reaches between the couch cushion and armrest and fondles a black plastic object.  When he sees you eyeing it, he pulls it up out of the couch and a blade emerges.  A large knife.  He takes his hand away from his shaft and presses the point of the knife into one of his fingertips, admiring the blade as your hands wrap around his cock.  

You get up on your knees and lower your head into his lap. When you inhale, his musk sends a pang between your legs.  You quickly suck his tip into your mouth.  He continues to admire the blade, now just inches from your head. You suck him thirstily, making good on your claim that you really wanted his cock in your mouth.  He sighs as you take as much of him into your mouth as you can. He sits back and holds the knife on the armrest. You take his length down your throat.  His girth is challenging. Your jaw quickly begins to get sore. You bob your head, slurping and sucking hard with your lips curled over your teeth. 

He puts one hand on your head and with the other he fidgets with the knife on the arm of the chair. He moans and you glance up to see his head resting back against the cushion with his eyes closed. 

You take the opportunity to glance around to see what you could use for your escape or self-defense. You rotate your knees and change angles so you can better survey the RV for a flashlight or weapon.  

He grabs you by the hair and makes you look up at him. “What the hell are you doin’?” He pulls your head off his cock. 

You shake your head, “nothing, just curious.”

“Well, get curious about my balls.” He pulls the waistband under his balls and glares at you. 

“oh my god,” you whisper with your eyes wide, admiring his cock and balls together.

He nods slowly. You cradle his balls in one hand and take his cock all the way into your mouth with the other, getting it wet for your hand.  Then you slowly stroke his shaft while turning your mouth’s attention to his balls.  You lick up the seam of his scrotum and he shudders. “Fuck, woman.” 

You swirl your tongue around one ball before taking it into your mouth.  It really is a mouthful.  You suck  his ball and stroke his cock and glance up to see his stomach rising and falling, nudging your pinky. He groans as you suck.  You give the other one some attention.  He shifts under you and you glance at his cock to see precum  leaking from his tip. 

You try taking both into your mouth at the same time, but it’s too much. He laughs at you. Then you start sucking again and his face darkens.  You trail your tongue down and tease his taint. His balls tighten.  You lick where they meet his cock, then drag your tongue all the way up to the head and take him into your mouth again.  He pulls your head down on his cock again and again. “Fuck, yeah, fuck, oh god” then he twitches between your lips. He slams your head down with his tip at the back of your throat and breathes, “Oh fuck you, kitten,” before exploding into your throat with a groan. 

You choke on his cum, but he doesn't let you take your head off his cock yet.  Your eyes water and he shakes his head at you, then closes his eyes, emptying the last of his load.  

Finally, he releases your head and you let him out of your mouth.    

You cough and cough, then you thank him. He stares at you.  “For letting me suck your cock,” you clarify.  One side of his mouth curls upward and he looks at you darkly.

He tucks himself back into his pants, then holds the knife in his hand and touches the point to a finger, admiring it again.  You’re still collecting yourself when he furrows his brow and says, “I dunno if I’m gonna need this. What do you think?” 

You shake your head no. 

He looks at you skeptically.  “long as you're here, you gimme what I want, when I want it.”

“Yeah,” you nod. “But-” He wraps his fingers around the handle.  

You continue, “but what about when I want it?”

His face softens in amusement.  “Oh-ho-ho, you really are a slut, aren’t ya?”

---

Joel puts the knife down, stands up, and stretches his arms behind his back.  His bulge presses out against his joggers as his broad chest juts into the air. His triceps flex behind him.  Then he stretches an arm over his head and you get a whiff of his sweat. 

“Clothes off," he commands. 

You remove your dress and he motions for you to go in front of him. "Shower." 

It's a tiny bathroom. He makes you sit on the shower floor while he cleans himself. You hug your knees and watch the gray water go down the drain as he washes away the day. You look up at his hulking quads as he lathers his pubic hair with a bar of soap.  He grumbles, "whole bar just to get the whore off me." He puts the soap in the hanging shower caddy. 

After showering, Joel dries off then makes you use the same towel. You’re about to put your dress back on when he says, “you’re in luck. just did laundry.” He hands you a light blue laundry bag half-full of clean but wrinkled clothes.  You rifle through it and your stomach turns.  There are women’s clothes mixed in with his.  Different sizes, some of them ripped and stained. You freeze and stare at a crop top with a short cut on the breast and a brown stain around it. 

Joel loses patience and asks, “God damn, is it that hard?” He snatches the bag from you.  He takes out a heather gray t-shirt and shoves it up against your chest. It has a zombie in sneakers and says The Running Dead 5k.  “Heh,” Joel laughs when you hold it out to look at it.  There's an open gash down one side of the chest and a brown stain around the collar.  When you put it on, your nipple peeks through the gash. 

"Shorts?" You ask. 

He shakes his head no, then begins to walk back across the camper and picks up his knife from the sofa. "Bed," he says and nods toward it.  His bed is notched into the wall at the end of the camper.  He follows you to it then grips the back of your neck, still holding the knife with the same hand so the plastic digs into your neck.  

He lifts the mattress and pulls out a pair of handcuffs. "I'm not gonna have to use these, am I?" He chains one of the cuffs to a metal lamp that’s screwed to the wall right above the headboard. He leaves the other cuff dangling open. He lets go of your neck to swat the dangling cuff with the point of the knife, then wedges the knife between the mattress and the headboard and abruptly grabs you by the neck again.  

He bends you over the bed, pulls his hand back, and slaps your bare ass so hard it’s sure to leave a handprint. "Asked you a question.”

“No, I’m gonna stay right here.  You don’t need those.” 

“Don't try anything," he warns. Then he pulls his hand back again and slaps you harder on the same cheek.  Your ass tingles then it fades to numb.  He lowers his voice. "Or you're not gettin’ home tomorrow." 

"Okay," you whimper.

"Good girl."  He lets you go with a shove and you land face-down on his blue flannel sheets. 

“Shit, I’m bein’ selfish, right? Not returnin' the favor?”

He makes you get in bed first so he's blocking you in. 

“Maybe I’ll give it to ya in your sleep,” he says. “Bet ya’d like that."

You nod.  

"Yeah, there’s my sex kitten. Bet ya can’t get enough'a this.”  He lewdly grabs the bulge in his joggers before getting into bed behind you.  

While you’re sleeping, Joel slips his hand between your legs.  He feels how wet you are and whispers to himself,  “oh get the fuck over here” as he gently rolls you onto your back.

He spreads your thighs and gets between them, He feels your cunt again and breathes, “fuck me, sweetheart.” The next thing you feel is his stomach against yours, then his tip at your entrance. You’re disoriented, still not really awake as he shoves himself into you. You sigh but your eyes stay closed. He pulls back then slams into you and bottoms out.  It feels like a vivid dream. He grunts and pants as he pounds you.  He must have been at it for a while already because his sweat is dripping onto you.  Your mouth falls open with a moan and a salty drop lands right on your tongue. You open your eyes with a sigh. 

“Fuck yeah, harder," you pant. 

He tries his best but he’s already fucking you as hard as he can, and he’s nearly spent. 

“Let me ride you,” you beg.  “Wanna ride this big cock again. Swallow it whole with my cunt” 

He slows his hips.  “God damn you got a mouth on you.” 

“Please.” 

“Whatever,” he sighs as he pulls out of you and lays down on his back.  He holds his cock at the base as you straddle him and align yourself over it. His eyes fixate on your nipple poking out of the shirt.  

You take his tip slowly, then abruptly sink down onto him. “Ohhh, Joel,” you sigh. 

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” he mutters, still catching his breath. 

You ride him vocally, and put your hands above his shoulders. His hands are planted on your hips.  When you come, you fold your body forward, discreetly grabbing the knife as you groan in pleasure.  

“Come inside me,” you breathe, and begin rolling your hips again. “Fill me up.” 

“Oh, fuck,” he pants and pinches his eyes shut.  Then he pulses inside you and groans as he comes.  You bring the knife to your thigh, then get off his cock. 

“No,” he sighs. Then you take his cock in your hand and press the flat of the blade against his pubic hair.  “What the fuck!” he gasps. “Hold on, hold on,” he begs.You press the edge of the knife against the base of his shaft.  “Look, I’m sorry about the wire and all that.”

“Prove it,” you say.  “How do I know you’re not gonna kill me?”

“Cause you’re a damn good fuck.”

“Cuff yourself.” You nod toward the handcuffs dangling from the lamp.  He hesitates and you tighten your grip on the knife. “Don’t think I won’t. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Okay, okay.”  To your astonishment, he actually cuffs himself to the lamp. 

Mercifully, you take the knife away from his cock. “Where are your keys? The keys to the volvo.”

“On the hook in the kitchen.” 

You grab the keys and come back.  “Ya know, you’re not a bad fuck yourself. Maybe I should stick around.”

-

Instead of leaving, you go to the sofa and turn the tv back on.  Something possesses you to clean his camper for him.  You can’t stand to be around the mess, and enjoy exerting control over the environment. Like you’re wrecking his vibe and leaving your lasting touch.  You spend an hour cleaning, then come back to the bed where he’s dozing off. You wake him up with a palm on his cock. 

You pull his joggers all the way off. “C’mon now, kitten” he whines. Then you straddle him with your naked heat against his semi-hard manhood.  He sighs and starts getting harder right away. 

“Fuck, you’re wet,” he sighs as you grind against him. “You’re nasty, aren’t ya.”

You nod.  He uses his free hand to guide your hips. You make room for your hand and cup his balls. “Tank empty or got a little more?”

“Oh, fuck,” he sighs then looks you up and down.  “Reckon I’ve always got more.” 

You hover right over his cock and he starts trying to thrust up high enough to fuck you.  You let his tip graze you a few times, then decisively sink onto him with a moan and he shudders. You move yourself up and down his cock, lean forward and grind against his pubic bone. “I didn’t think you’d really cuff yourself,” you say.  “What are you gonna do if I let you go?”

“Give you a ride home,” he pants under you. 

“Hah!” you keep riding him. 

“Really.”  He begins to grunts as you fuck him. 

“Why don’t I believe you?” You slow your hips. You lift yourself up and start to let his cock out of you.  

“No,” he groans. “Kitten, wait.”

You sink back down and take his free hand in yours, putting it between your legs.  “Make me come.” You sit mostly still on his cock as he works his thumb on your clit until you see stars, strangling him with your walls. 

When you’re finished coming, you push yourself off him and he groans at the loss.  He begins to jack himself off desperately as he watches you get a pair of shorts out of the laundry bag and put them on.  

"Oh bad girl," he shakes his head slowly as he keeps fisting himself. "baaaaad girl."

You leave him naked from the waist down, chained to the lamp with his cock in his hand.  

“Told ya it was dangerous out here, sweetheart,” he shouts as the door slams behind you. Then you hear him finish loudly as you unlock the Volvo and get in. 

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There will be another part but not right away. Follow for lore and more meanwhile.

Thank you so much for reading and an additional thank you to those who engage out here!! 🖤🖤 It really helps and makes me feel good. It's especially helpful bc i get labeled.

I will go back through my requests including slasher when I can.

There are more dark joels on my joel master list. you can follow @toxicfics and turn on notifications for fic alerts.

-

to @jazziepascal, diehard slasher!joel fan, don't worry he's not done

All Joel:@ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose  @fandomsfallnomore  @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339   @manazo @wolvesandvampires  @taeslarityy  @str84pedro @lokanda  @kyloispunk  @filthfairy  @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles  @harriedandharassed  @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy  @cutesyscreenname  @weddingfairy  @pedropascal-whore  @spideysimpossiblegirl  @feministfanboi @gracieispunk @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @milla-frenchy @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @am-3-thyst @may-machin @pedromania91 @sloanexx @paleidiot

@bunnyskisses

[iamasaddie]

consequences

paring: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: explicit warnings: explicit sexual content, light pain!kink, daddy!kink, daddy!dom!Joel/sub!reader, no use of Y/N a/n: the continuation of my writing challenge fic sprinkled with the valentine's day prompt i posted a month ago! thanks to sweetest person in the world for coming to my rescue and bing a beta to this fic @janaispunk ily more than pedro loves frozen pizza 🍕💛 word count: 2k masterlist

After Joel’s call you’d been buzzing all night, tossing and turning in your bed until the early hours of the morning. You hid under the blanket from the mockingly cheerful chirping of the birds that felt like pebbles being thrown at you. The darkness and heavy weight of the blanket soothed you into dreamless sleep until you were once again torn out of it by the buzzing of your phone. You wouldn’t have heard it on any other day ignoring every sound until you got your fill of sleep, but you were too wound up for that right now.

Your hand slid under the pillow, retracting your phone and checking the messages. Just like you thought, there was only one short text from Joel. 

’I just left the house, be ready.’

Sleep has quickly left your body, giving way to excitement and anxiety. You jumped out of bed, stopping for a second when your head went dizzy and your eyes unfocused. Taking a couple deep breaths you hurried to the bathroom; if Joel just left that meant you had approximately twenty minutes to shower, shave where needed, moisturize and pick pretty lingerie. You looked at the big cotton panties you eventually wore to bed yesterday and shrugged. Joel had seen you in all kinds of clothes, in all kinds of states, and found you attractive both in your sweatpants and an oversized ratty t-shirt, and in a silk nightgown you were gifted for Valentine’s day. Still, you felt like you might get off easy if you were extra sexy. Maybe Joel’s mind would stop working as soon as he saw you and his dick went hard. 

You lathered your body in shower gel, the smell of sweet white peaches filling the small room. You scrubbed yourself squeaky clean, humming a song that was stuck in your head, your toothpaste foaming out of your mouth. Before climbing out of the shower you slowly traced your hand over the parts of your body that you shaved, making sure there weren’t any traitorous hairs that you didn’t catch. Happy with the result, your skin smooth and smelling like summer, you checked your phone. Judging by the clock, you had no more than five minutes left, so you quickly dried yourself off and skipped to pick out the killer panties and bra set. 

You settled on a cute black one, the almost transparent material of bra cups and panties was embroidered with pretty red hearts. It made you feel sexy and bold, and it made Joel lose his pants in less than three minutes.

Giggling to yourself, you straightened the bed and laid down on top of your simple pink sheets when you heard your door opening downstairs. As usual, Joel used the key you kept under the flower pot outside to let himself in. He joked about the amount of flower pots in your garden on more than one occasion, considering the fact that you killed any plant you bought within a couple of weeks. You even managed to kill a cactus and that was the last victim of your plant-killing spree that left behind too much evidence in the form of dozens of clay pots. 

With a smirk, you listened to his footsteps growing louder as he made his way up the stairs, your heart pounding in your ears. As the door creaked open, Joel's voice called out.

“I hope you're ready, because you’re not escaping your punishment.”

His eyes settled on you sprawled on your bed and his brows furrowed, his jaw going slack. The unmistakable fiery passion you saw in his eyes sent shivers down your spine as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. In that moment, you realized that there would indeed be consequences for your playful teasing, but you were more than ready to face them head-on.

“Why aren’t you naked, baby?” He didn’t let your little trick affect his plans like you hoped, your mouth dropped open and you tried to stutter out a reply while Joel rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. You were surprised that he decided to wear something so formal, he usually wore sweatpants or shorts and an old t-shirt when he visited your house. Your mouth filled with saliva as more and more of his thick tanned forearms showed. This time, there was no escaping the threatening notes in Joel's voice as he took a deliberate step closer, his unwavering gaze locking with yours. You knew exactly what kind of mood he was in and your insides shivered with excitement, arousal already staining the gusset of your panties.

“I’m sorry, daddy,” your voice was anything but remorseful, little devils dancing in your eyes, “I just wanted to be pretty for you.”

“You wanted to be bratty for me, and you succeeded. Your little whore self thought you’d get off easy if you met me in this number? Well, lucky for me I rubbed one out before coming here, sweetheart."

“But…”

“Do you really want to finish this sentence, baby?”

You shook your head and Joel leaned down over you, taking your face in his palms, “good girl.”

You got rid of your underwear while you saw him fumbling with his phone and strategically placing it so the camera was facing you. 

“What are you doing?” Your voice was suddenly surprisingly shy, nipples hardened from the exposure and anticipation.

“We’re gonna make a little video lesson for you, so that you know how to please your pretty pussy when I’m not around.” Joel said matter of factly. He checked the angle on the screen, “move a little to the right, baby, and spread that pretty pussy.”

You abided him immediately, without question. It was something you were used to. Not shooting porn with Joel, no, in fact, that was the first time; but trusting him blindly. What he says goes, because somehow he always knew what made you feel best. 

Your fingers slowly traced down your body, pinching your nipples on the way and getting a warning glare from Joel. Going lower you let your legs spread further apart before parting your pussy lips with your index fingers. Arousal covered your burning flesh, and you felt your digits slipping.

“What a gorgeous fucking cunt,” Joel lowered himself on his knees before the bed and dragged you by your ankles so your thighs framed his shoulders. “If only she didn’t have a mind of her own, hm? One that makes my perfect little girl act like the brattiest slut in a Vegas whorehouse.”

He didn’t let you say anything, biting into the soft flesh of your thigh with vigor so that the word you tried to push out was broken by a half scream-half moan. Whatever you thought your punishment would be, you definitely didn’t consider Joel going down on you and recording it. If that was the case you’d have to misbehave more often, you smirked to yourself as you felt your man’s wet and hot tongue sliding through your folds.

“Sweet as sin,” he mumbled, grazing your  throbbing clit with his upper lip,”and twice as dangerous.”

Joel knew your body well, sometimes you felt like he knew it too well, dangerously well. He knew your ticks, and pleasure points, and pain spots and all of the erogenous zones, some of which you didn’t even know existed. He possessed a power over you that would make a normal person terrified, but you were too fucked up in the head, too hungry for the love he’s been giving you to care one bit. 

His tongue drew tight circles around your pulsing clit dropping from time to time to lick the arousal where it leaked around his fingers. The upcoming orgasm made you numb to everything but pleasure and you almost didn’t catch it when first one, then two and then the burning stretch of three fingers started plunging into you and coaxing the release from you.

It didn’t take you long, the movements just right, the pace perfect, and in a couple of moments you were squeezing Joel’s fingers with your contracting muscles, panting heavily.

You tried to catch your breath, but Joel didn’t stop. None of his movements changed and you thought that maybe he didn’t notice you cumming.

“Daddy, I came,” you whispered, your trembling hands sliding into his hair, gripping the curly strands that were more salt than pepper. 

Joel’s hums into your pussy were quiet, but the sensitive skin of your pussy felt the vibrations zap through it. His tongue continued torturing you, never giving you a chance to calm down before ripping another orgasm out of you. Your back snapped, arching so hard you thought you’d heard your spine crack. When you stopped shaking, but Joel was still stubbornly nipping and licking your clit, spitting on it after getting a long inhale with his nose pressed into the soft skin of your pussy and diving back in, you finally understood your punishment. 

Joel was uncharacteristically quiet, usually he would spew all kinds of filth in your ear, but now he didn’t spare a second to mutter anything so as not to give your poor pussy any rest. The only sounds coming out of him were pleased hums and moans that spread from your cunt and to your brain in electric shocks. 

By the fifth orgasm you forgot about everything. You forgot the camera that was still recording you becoming less and less coherent, you forgot the place you were at, you even forgot your own name, the only thing you knew was raw pleasure on the verge of pain that made your eyes water and your mouth plead.

“It hurts, Daddy, I can’t do it anymore,”  you cried, trying to move away from his death grip. Your vision was blurry with tears but you still saw Joel’s head appear from between your legs, smacking his lips intentionally loud. He looked satisfied, a cat that just managed to steal and eat thanksgiving turkey, but two of his meaty fingers continued pushing in and out of your tender cunt.

“Baby, you know Daddy only hurts you because you look so pretty when you cry.”

You felt another orgasm sending electric pulses through your body. It was a constant state of painful bliss, your body was both tired and wound up. You let your tears stream freely down your cheeks, salty water collecting in the shells of your ears but you were too out of it to be bothered or even pay attention. Your voice was hoarse from screaming and whining and begging, unintentional whimpers flowing out of you with every breath. Your eyes dropped closed for what you thought was just a moment but turned out to be way longer.

The next time you opened your eyes it was already dark in your room. Your body was hot, sweat sticking to your back that was pressed into the man spooning you from behind. You started shifting when you realized something about you was different. Squeezing your thighs you quickly realized what that was exactly. Nestled deep inside you was a throbbing hard shaft of Joel’s cock. It felt so right spreading your soft and aching walls that you didn’t feel any discomfort at all, if you ignored the burning sting of your swollen pussy and clit. 

When Joel’s hand traveled to your sternum and cupped your left tit, your pussy squeezed him once again, both of you moaning in tandem. 

“The punishment is over, baby, now let Daddy give you a reward.” He whispered, pressing a wet kiss to the back of your neck as you hummed in agreement.

[entitled-fangirl]

Two idiots in love. (P11)

Joel Miller x anemic!reader

Summary: Joel finds his way to the town. Y/N is determined to do anything to keep Ellie safe.

Warnings: blood, death, acts of murder, attempted rape

BIG TRIGGER WARNING

Masterlist

Part 1 and 12

........................................................

The sound of the cage door opening woke up the girls.

Y/N was still exhausted, so she rubbed at her eyes in a hurry to try to wake herself up.

David and James stepped past her and picked up Ellie.

Ellie began to scream, which made Y/N's blood run cold.

"W…Hey, What are you doing?" She asked as she stood up on her feet.

When James began to pull Ellie out of the cell, Y/N immediately moved towards them to help the girl.

But David stopped her by wrapping his arms around her from behind, "Hey." He cooed in her ear, "It will all be okay."

"No," she shook her head, "NO! STOP! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HER!"

James pulled Ellie onto the butcher table outside of the cell, and David locked Y/N back in, keeping her from interfering.

Ellie's screams were driving Y/N crazy.

She pushed herself against the bars, "STOP! PLEASE… ELLIE!"

David brought the cleaver up in his hand.

"Don't!" Ellie cried, "I'M INFECTED!"

He slammed the cleaver down by her head, making Y/N flinch.

"And now," Ellie remarked, "So are you."

Only then did David notice the bite mark in his hand.

While he was distracted, Ellie took the cleaver and sunk it into James' neck.

"RUN ELLIE!"

She didn't need to be told twice.

Ellie bolted out of the door and didn't look back.

David turned back to Y/N. "You… you little whore."

She backed away from the bars. "I didn't… you said… 'everything happens for a reason'… didn't you?"

He growled and unlocked the cage.

A panicking feeling settled into Y/N's stomach.

"You're gonna fucking listen to me now, aren't you?" David taunted as he stood in the doorway of the cage.

Y/N couldn't breathe.

He flinched towards her to scare her.

She jumped back and tripped, now sitting on the floor in a panicking mess. "Don't… you don't have to do this…."

He smiled as he kneeled down to her level. His hand grabbed one of her ankles gently and he pulled her towards him, "Oh, you sweet girl. Are you gonna be good for me?"

Sweet girl.

She let out a shuddered breath at the name. 

She missed Joel.

She felt David run his hand up her leg.

"D...Don't…"

"Why not?"

She looked into his eyes. Though she was terrified, she knew she could at least try to get him to leave her alone. Her voice was a quiet tone, "If he's out there… then he's hunting you down… and he won't stop until he gets what he wants."

David scoffed, "And what does he want, Y/N?"

"Well… it…depends on where you keep moving your hand… stop now, and… he might let you keep all of your fingers…" 

…

Ellie sprinted through the snow.

She had to find Joel.

But she couldn't leave Y/N behind.

She wasn't sure what to do.

Luckily, Joel had already started his rescue mission, and was in the tree line.

He saw Ellie run out of the building, and walked out to get her. "Ellie…" his soft voice carried in the cold air.

She cried when she saw him.

She ran to him and hugged his torso with all of her strength, "I tried… but… they… they were… gonna kill me…"

"I know, Ellie. I know. I saw the shed," Joel cooed as he rubbed her back softly. "Where is Y/N? Is she alright?"

Ellie shook her head, "She's still there… and D…David… he's trying… he…"

"Slow down. What did he say?"

"He said… he was gonna train… Y/N like… like a dog to its master…"

All of Joel's comforting tone and movements were gone. "He said… what?"

Ellie shook her head, not wanting to repeat her words.

But Joel didn't really need to hear them again. He had heard enough.

His deadly demeanor returned, and he turned into the merciless killer again.

"Where is she?" He asked coldly.

…

Y/N had managed to kick David in the face, but she wasn't quick enough to move.

When she had tried to get up, he pushed her down again, this time, straddling her on the cold tile.

"You…you're a monster!" Y/N cried out.

David smirked, "You don't know how good I am. What I can give you…"

She tried to push his chest to get away, but it was in vain, "No… you have nothing…"

"I've decided to take the place of your  husband, Y/N. And I'm gonna teach you. I'm gonna show you what love is like."

His hand moved to the button on her jeans.

"No.. stop…" she cried. Her voice was desperate and soft, unlike the usual confidence and sarcasm she always had.

She told herself that she'd never let something like this happen. She'd fight. She'd kill them.

But now? She couldn't bring herself to do anything.

Where was Joel? 

He wouldn't let this happen. He would snap David's neck. 

She can't go down without a fight.

So, she began to struggle against his grip. 

"Oh good," David grinned, "The fighting is the part I like the most."

She cried out in grunts, trying to do anything to overpower the man. Or at least to try to escape.

But her jeans were now around her ankles, and she was losing strength.

Her lungs were killing her.

Black dots clouded her vision.

She can't pass out now.

"Don't be afraid," David cooed into her ear. "'There is no fear in love.'"

With what little strength she had left, she reached at his waist and pulled out his keyring. 

She let out a final grunt.

And shoved one of the keys into one of  the man's eye sockets.

He screamed and backed away as he covered his eye.

She won't forget the sight.

She began to crawl away, gaining a little strength in knowing she could escape.

If only she were so lucky.

David grabbed her leg once again.

On instinct, Y/N kicked at him again.

And kicked the key further into the man's head, hitting his brain.

David fell back in a slump as his blood began to leak on the floor.

Y/N sat up and viewed what she had done.

And let out a strained cry.

She was so tired and scared. She didn't know what to do.

And the black dots had returned to her vision.

She tried to crawl away but she didn't make it far before the darkness clouded her vision completely.

…

"H..Here. In here." Ellie pointed.

Joel shrugged off his backpack, handing it to her. "You're gonna stay out here. And if I don't come back, you're gonna leave."

"No, I-"

"Do. It." Joel commanded.

Ellie nodded.

Joel opened the door with a loud creak.

He stepped in with his handgun ready.

But he was nowhere near ready for the sight in front of him.

Y/N was passed out in the cage, half-dressed.

David's dead body laid next to her.

The preacher's blood stained the flannel Joel had given the woman only days before.

"F…Fuck." Joel muttered in a panic.

He grabbed her jeans and kneeled next to her. "Y/N?"

She was breathing, and that alone was enough to make Joel relax.

But she wasn't gonna wake up anytime soon.

He sighed and began to dress the woman again, noting how even in her sleep, she was shivering.

Once dressed, Joel shrugged off his own coat and wrapped it around her to keep her warm before picking her up with a grunt.

How could he let this happen?

He pulled her as close to his body as possible and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You're safe, sweet girl... I gotcha. I gotcha..."

He wasn't going to fail her again.

He stepped out of the building, relieved that he had recovered his most priced possession.

.............................................................

Tags: @lover-of-books-and-tea, @pedropascalfan221, @lottieellz101, @bambisweethearts, @hiroikegawa, @elliaze, @littleshadow17, @n7cje, @ashleyfilm, @darling-imobsessed

[notjustjavierpena]

Reunion - Part I

A/N: I have wanted to post this for a week now, expanding the dbf-universe a little more than it just being smut. It’s cliché-filled and lovely, and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

Summary: You're flying back to visit your parents (it’s Joel, you’re actually home for) after a month at college.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader/You (No y/n)

Tags: +18 smut, dad’s best friend joel miller, daddy kink, sooooo much longing and love and fluff and teasing, Joel gets a blowjob, pet names, PIV sex, rough sex, dirty talk, cuddles, reader’s dad is oblivious 

Word count: 6.3k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49869355/chapters/125892244

Tonight

You feel giddy as you walk through the airport with your headphones on, your bag slung over your shoulder, and with a bounce in your step. Your feet’s movements have automatically adjusted to the beat of the song that’s playing in your ears, setting a late-summer soundtrack to your life as unimportant faces pass. 

It’s sunny and warm inside the glass building, and whilst you cannot wait to get outside into the colder weather, it’s actually because of your father’s work emergency that you are excited; Joel is picking you up instead.

Joel at 11:06 a.m.: I can’t wait to see you. -JM

Your eyes roam over the screen of your phone whilst you pass through the crowd, smiling in a way that would make your parents ask why. Who knew that Joel Miller could make you feel like summer was still at its peak? 

“There you are,” Joel says when you find his car in the enormous parking lot. He is leaning against the side of the vehicle, and you approach him whilst taking off your earphones to let them hang around your neck. 

When you are less than twenty feet from him, you stop walking and run the rest of the way. You close the distance between you by throwing your arms around him in a tight hug, a happy squeak leaving your mouth. He lets out an ompf-sound but embraces you when the car saves him from falling backward.

“Hey,” he says into your hair, noticing the volume of your music when he can hear it play through the speakers, “You hate your ears?”

You are too busy breathing him in, head swimming from the very first inhale of his cologne, “Hm?”

“Turn that music down,” he tells you. 

“God, stop sounding like my dad,” you groan and step back from him to do as you are told, “Fucking boner killer.”

“Don’t swear at me,” he warns but his tone tells you that the way he rolls his eyes at you afterward is more playful than impatient. He holds out his hand, “Bag.”

You stuff your headphones into the bag before giving it to Joel and watch him throw it into the backseat before circling the truck to hold the passenger door open for you. It feels stupid when your heart flutters at the sight of both of your bags lying side by side. 

“Thank you,” you smile politely as you crawl into the car, “Even if you just hurled my possessions into the car.” 

“Brat.”

You ogle him in the few moments it takes him to walk around the front of the car. He wears a green flannel shirt over one of his usual t-shirts, chest threatening to pop the buttons with how tight it is across his broad frame. A part of you hopes that he has dressed up for you, and the image of him fussing over his appearance in the mirror before leaving to pick you up is enough to make you smile goofily to yourself. 

“What?” He asks when he finally sits beside you, turning the key in the ignition. The truck comes alive. 

“Nothing,” you shrug, but then lean across the console center of the car. You reach up to cup his cheek and turn his head towards you, “You just look very handsome today.”

Then you kiss him softly on the mouth, seeking him out in the way that only you are allowed. He turns his body towards you, slides a hand around your back, and rests the other on the back of your neck. 

“Mhm, and you’re lookin’ pretty, princess,” he hums against your mouth.

You kiss for a while, intimate and soft. When you try to move closer and escalate things by nearly crawling into his lap, he grips the hair at the back of your neck and holds you in place.

“No,” he tells you and you whine in response.

The hand you have on his cheek slips down to rest on his shoulder, but only so you can reach down on his back and scratch affectionately between his shoulder blades, “Please. It’s been forever, and— and I’m getting wet just thinking about it.”

Joel’s jaw tightens as he restrains himself. He shakes his head, eyes only going down between your legs very briefly, “Promised your old man to feed you on the way back since he ain’t at home, and your mom’s gone out with her colleagues. Plus there’s no way I’m screwin' a girl twenty years my junior in my car… in a public place. Don’t care how busy it is here.”

You slip from his grasp and sit back into the passenger seat with a huff. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him adjust himself in his washed-out jeans, “When then?”

“Tonight,” he promises as he pulls out of the parking space, “Think of how good it’ll be after bein' worked up all day.” 

“If you can wait that long,” you sigh dramatically. 

Joel scoffs and then starts to drive. Your clit throbs during the whole duration of the car ride.

*

He eventually pulls into an IHOP parking lot after you’ve begged him since seeing the billboard a few miles earlier. It is better than one of the roadside diners and more crowded too which gives you a greater sense of privacy. 

You step out of the car, immediately met with the smell of sugary fried food. It makes your stomach growl, but still, and you’ll admit it, you are more excited to see what feast Joel will choose than you are about eating pancakes for lunch. 

“C’mon,” he says as you lose yourself to basking in the sunlight and listening to the cars driving by on the highway.

“Lemme just get my wallet.”

Joel makes a sound of disapproval, “Food’s on me. Get your ass in there.”

The restaurant looks less rundown than you’d expected, and the sweetness in the air hits you like a brick wall as soon as you step over the threshold of the entrance. People are chatting loudly whilst eating breakfast foods, somewhere a baby cries and you have to actively search for a free table.

You walk across the tiled floor which is meant to look like wooden boards, not able to see Joel but feeling his presence a few steps behind you. When someone walks in front of you, you hear him grumble and feel his hand on the small of your back. Your head swims, your stomach swirling at the warmth of his touch.

Unsurprisingly, this means that it ends up being him who finds an unoccupied corner for you, one that doesn’t have anything sticky on the blue cushions of the booth. He offers you the booth and takes the chair on the opposite side. 

You pick up the laminated paper menu from in front of you, studying it intensely. In the many years that you have known Joel, you have never actually been out with him where it’s just been the two of you because why would you? It makes butterflies fly around in your belly, fighting their way out until they are everywhere in your body. Especially between your legs when you see him scratch his beard whilst also looking for something to eat.

“This is our first date, you know,” you note and see Joel tense a little. You try to sound cool and indifferent whilst hiding behind the menu, “Are you nervous?”

“I’m usually always a lil’ nervous when I’m with a pretty girl,” he replies nonchalantly too, “But actually no. Even if she’s the prettiest girl I ever saw.”

You dare not open your mouth at that, scared that the butterflies might actually escape your body at this point and fly off into the air. You are hot in the face, resting the menu against your forehead to hide your face from him, “Shut up.”

“You started it.”

You peek over the top and are just about to say something when—

“Hi and welcome to IHOP!” A way too cheerful voice says and interrupts the tender moment. You slam the menu into the table a little too hard.

Both of you stare at the waitress, but Joel looks more like he has been offended by her bubbly attitude. She has a heavy southern twang. vibrant red lipstick and thick-framed glasses that suggest that she’s trying to go for something vintage and modern at the same time, “What can I getcha?”

Joel mumbles something about bacon and eggs along with the blackest coffee they have. The woman scribbles erratically on her notepad whilst complimenting his choice.

“And for your daughter?” She continues. Joel looks horrified, and you try to hide your giggle. 

“I’ll take your cupcake pancakes, please. And a strawberry shake,” you reply, “And hash browns for me and my dad to share.”

“Alrighty!” The waitress concludes, collects the menus, and turns to Joel, “And for you, I’ll be right there with your coffee, sir.”

Joel kicks you under the table as soon as she has left. You stick out your tongue at him, but he fixes you with a stern look, “Don’t fuckin’ do that.”

“Why? It’s just a joke,” you shrug and lean back into the booth, “Not like anyone knows us here.” 

It’s then that you realize that it probably has more to do with him than you; Joel probably feels like the comment was a slap in the face and a way of illustrating how fucked-up his relationship with you is. You find that you don’t actually care if the relationship is known to the whole IHOP, but with the way that Joel is looking away, you don’t dare to lean over and kiss his lips.

“Hey,” your voice is gentle as you place your hand on the table, palm facing up, “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

Joel curls his own hand around yours but still doesn’t say anything. His eyes are focused somewhere else as if he doesn’t dare to look back at you. You don’t think you dare see the wounded look on his face.

“This isn’t just fun ‘n games to me, you know. I mean, it may have started like that, but over the summer…” you try to fill the silence, background chatter fading from your ears as your pulse picks up, “I do mean it when I say I mi—“

“Stop,” he warns, eyes snapping back to yours and stealing your breath for a second, “We ain’t talking about that in a goddamn IHOP.”

“I feel like there’s no better place to do it,” you retort but he just shakes his head with a mix between a chuckle and a scoff. 

“Tonight,” he says just like earlier. 

When the food arrives, you eat in comfortable silence for the most part, and the conversation revolves around mundane things such as how you find the start of the semester and what projects he has coming up at work.

You barely give him reason to tut at you. You play nice and sweet, and make him laugh genuinely so you can admire the tiny lines around his eyes. He only makes a parental comment when you start to wolf down the plate of hash browns, and you respond by stuffing the last one into his mouth. It earns you a laugh that nearly sets your heart on fire with how rapidly it ticks.

*

He drives you all the way home afterward, and you dare to steal a kiss from him before exiting the car. You’ll be around later, you say, and he suggests picking you up, but you tell him you'd rather just take your bike and save him the gas money. He somewhat accepts. 

When you step inside your childhood home, you lean against the door with a giggle. Your cheeks burn as you cup them, staying like that for a minute whilst you try to calm your pounding heart. You run your fingers up and through your hair while sighing, “Shit.”

You think back to the first time Joel had fucked you in your bedroom. It had been rushed, intense, and frankly terrifying, but then it’d been good. More than good. The greatest, actually. It had opened something up inside your chest, provoked something between your thighs that you didn’t know existed. In return, Joel has become more gentle with you, softened under your touch every time you are together. You wonder if…

He still yanks your hair, reprimands you, and practically makes you feel like you’re on fire when he touches your pussy like no one has ever done before, but you could swear that he kisses you like you’re more than just fun.

You distract yourself with a shower, find yourself dipping the shower head between your legs for just a moment before shaking the thought. You’ll get what you want soon enough, no need to fantasize. Instead, you do the mind-numbing task of shaving your legs. 

Just before leaving for Joel’s, already sitting on your bike, you shoot your father a text. 

You at 6:55 p.m.: House is empty. Going out. 

Dad at 7:15 p.m.: I’ll be home in 2-3 hours. Did you eat dinner? -Dad

You at 7:17 p.m.: Yep, see u tomorrow :)

And then you start pedaling.

*

Joel opens his door with a smirk, grabbing your wrist and pulling you inside his home after making sure that no one is watching. You didn’t even know that you could pine for someone you already have. Yet here he is looking young, beautiful, and full of life when he is sneaking around with you, and you want him to kiss you silly. 

He reads your mind, closes the door quickly afterward, and doesn’t hesitate. He kisses your giggling mouth with the determination to follow up on your make-out session in the truck earlier. He has his arms around you, pushes you gently against the front door, and practically eats at your open mouth. It makes you sigh softly, your heartbeat racing and your skin prickling with electric excitement. 

“I’ve missed you,” you confess when you pull away from his lips to go down his neck with the same enthusiasm as a puppy who hasn’t seen their human in forever. Usually, Joel is the one who is eager to move on with less innocent things, but you have been in his company half the day without permission to touch him like this, so you are starving for him.

“We saw each other a few hours ago,” he argues, relaxing his grip on you as your tongue goes over a certain spot that has the ability to bring him to his knees. He groans quietly over your shoulder. 

“Wanna suck you off,” you whisper in his ear then descend to your knees right on his scratchy doormat. He rests his hand on your head and runs it over your hair with the gentleness of someone who has nothing to prove, shakes his head at your suggestion that’s hardly a suggestion. 

“Not here, your knees gonna hurt,” he insists. 

“Don’t care,” you say and mean it; you’ll take the rug burn. You don’t stop your hands from unbuckling his belt, looking up at him through your lashes with a devious smile on your face. He strains, half-hard, against the zipper, and when you pull it down he seems to give in completely. 

You yank his jeans down over his hips, and he starts helping you by stepping out of them until they lay forgotten on the floor behind you. As soon as you lay eyes on the outline of his cock, you run your palm over it from tip to base. A wet patch is already threatening to form on the front of his boxers with your simple touch, his length coming to full size as he swells completely underneath your hand. You can see the head starting to poke out from underneath the waistband, so you take pity on him and yank his underwear all the way down as well. They pool around his ankles until they end up in the same pile as Joel’s jeans. 

Your mouth is salivating at the sight of him fully hard after a good month without him. Joel is shaking in anticipation, his usual calm and collected facade crumbling.

You waste no time; your hand wraps around the base of Joel’s cock to guide the head to your mouth. The ache to taste him has settled between your legs, clit twitching as you let out the flat of your tongue, curling it around the underside of the head to lick along the frenulum. Your eyes nearly roll back into your skull, and Joel seems to enjoy it because you hear his head bump against the door. 

He moans and shudders above you, but he doesn’t yank at your hair like most stupid college boys would already have done because they’ve seen it on the internet. He takes his time with it, instead spreads his fingers over your scalp, scratches, and lets you move freely, “Ohh, you’ve been hungry for it, haven’t ya?”

You smile up at him, nod eagerly to earn praise, and then lick along the underside of the head again. You catch a droplet of precome with the tip of your tongue as you reach the slit, tasting the slight bitterness on him with a hum before repeating the move. 

“Mhmmm, that’s it, good girl,” he says breathily.

When you want to tease him a little more, you move to nose along the shaft until you can press a wet kiss by the base. He twitches a little in your fist. You start planting open-mouthed kisses all the way up to the head again, stroking him a few times after getting to the tip.

Your free hand skims up underneath his t-shirt, over the trail of hair that you sometimes bury your nose in whether it be during this sort of thing or just when you feel extra cuddly, mirroring the hand on your head and splaying across his soft stomach. Your nails scratch too, affectionately almost, and then you prepare yourself to take him into your mouth. 

Joel looks down as you stop, but groans as he sees you let a good amount of spit gather in your mouth. You let it drip down over the head. His stomach jumps underneath your palm, “Fuck, you are trouble, ain’t ya? Can’t wait to see that pretty mouth around my dick.”

You hum. A few kisses to the head, and then you slide your lips down over him. It is quite the stretch to fit him as far inside as you want in this insatiable state, but you are satisfied with your work when he chokes out a noise that you only thought you were capable of making. That weak croak is worth the ache that will eventually overtake your jaw.

Joel bucks his hips as soon as you encase him in the heat of your mouth. The fat head stabs at the back of your throat, causing you to gag and clench around him but he seems too far gone to even register its doing on you. You let him do it again, blinking rapidly to stop tears from spilling down your cheeks. 

Instinctively, his free hand wraps around the wrist of the hand you have on his stomach. He groans as you bob your head and make tiny noises that sometimes develop into wet gagging. 

When Joel’s hips start to move, you begin to feel the doormat underneath your jean-clad knees. He isn’t being particularly rough with you, but it’s his size that makes the tears, that you’ve blinked away successfully so far, spill from the corners of your eyes. He is so big, hot, and heavy on your tongue, and filling your belly with the sweetest ache for him to wear you out tonight. 

The other hand finally grips tightly, pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail. You whimper as he tugs, fucking you onto his cock, and he nearly loses his mind as your throat squeezes around him with the sound. 

“Filthy, filthy girl,” he scorns as spit starts to dribble down your chin, continuous wet noises bouncing off the walls of the living room, “God… You’re gonna make me come down ya tight throat.”

Perhaps after he has fucked you, you think, and then barely shake your head. Joel notices though, slows down as he gets too close, dick twitching inside your mouth before he, albeit reluctantly, draws back out. His breathing is ragged, trying his hardest to calm down and stop himself from teetering around the edge. 

You swallow down the remainder of spit in your mouth and pull your hand out of Joel’s grip to wipe the back of it over your soaked chin, shiny with saliva and tears. Your eyes are red, your lips puffy, and your hair a mess. Your jaw hurts from the strain on it but despite this, it hurts more between your legs by now; the throbbing sensation has started to become uncomfortable, your clit desperate for friction and your cunt feeling so empty that it clenches again and again. You need to be filled right now, think you might die if he doesn’t shove his cock in you soon.

“Need you,” you say to break the silence and start to get up on your feet again. You want to cling to him, shed him of the rest of his clothes, and crawl under his skin to live there. You almost sob, “So bad, Daddy. Please please please.”

“Shh…” he coos, toeing off his socks and reaching for the hem of his shirt. He pulls it over his head, revealing his beautiful tan skin and the faint amount of hair on his chest. You reach out to run your nails through it, but he grabs both your wrists and starts taking off your top instead. 

“Let me touch you,” you whine but still let him undress you slowly, piece by piece of clothing ending up in the same spot on the floor. 

“Y’just touched me,” he says simply, reaching around you to undo your bra. He slides the straps down your arms, the cool air of the room hitting your chest and making your nipples harden. He hums in approval, “So fuckin’ pretty. Been too long.”

He cups your tits, pushes them together, drags his thumbs over your taut nipples, and then lets go when you’re just about to let out a moan. He looks as starved as you and he satisfies his hunger by kissing you with bruising force, his chest against yours to feel your breasts press against himself. 

You hoist yourself up and wrap your legs around his waist, his thick cock trapped between your stomachs. He groans at the friction with each step he takes towards the couch and you kiss the noise right off his tongue, sucking at the tip as a reminder of what you have done minutes earlier. 

When he reaches the destination, he drops you down onto the leather. Then he leans over you, one knee beside you to reach for the curtains to close them, and you almost give in to the urge of sucking him off again because he is so close. He seems to notice.

“Sit back, panties off,” he orders whilst making sure there are no gaps that anyone can peek inside of. 

You follow orders so quickly. He takes no time to tease either, sinks to his knees, yanks your ass further to the edge, and parts your legs until he can get in between them. Your hands rest on the back of your thighs, holding yourself open for him as he guides his cockhead inside of you.

The slight breach makes your breath hitch in your throat until it comes out in a wanton whine, walls already trying to pull him In further. Joel joins you with a guttural groan, staring down at your stretching cunt as he feeds it inch after inch. Usually, there’s some resistance, a pinch, but he bottoms out inside of you so quickly now that you’ve been wet since you saw him before lunch. 

You throw your head back against the back of the couch and let him have his way with you, feel him repeatedly pull out almost all the way until he slams right back in and sets a desperate pace. His hand rests on your mound so his thumb can circle your swollen clit, and you don’t think you’ve ever felt so fucked out in mere minutes. 

Your breath catches, your pulse quickens, the first time he slides over your g-spot which he immediately notices with the way your pussy clenches in surprise pleasure. It makes him repeat the move, tilting his hips to ensure he won’t miss it with every crash of his pelvis into yours.

“Don’t stop, ah-ah! Joel!” You practically yell for him, digging your nails into the plump flesh of your thighs and triggering a growl from him. He cants his hips again so he can move forward and lean into you, still rubbing your clit with his thumb, but now also losing himself in a kiss that’s surprisingly soft compared to the crushing force of his thrusts. 

When he pulls back, his body needing the air through his mouth again if he is to continue fucking you like this, he rests his forehead against yours. His breaths are damp and exchanging with your own. Your eyes meet in a fiery gaze as filth starts pouring from his mouth. 

“I’mma fuckin’ wear this pussy out tonight, princess,” he tells you with a moan, speeding up the taut circles on your throbbing clit as if to make a demonstration of his next promise, “Make you come and come and - shit, that’s good - fuckin’ wring them out of you.”

“Yes, Daddy, I’m gonna come right now,” your voice is frantic and your toes are starting to curl. 

“Fuck yes, you are, can feel it,” he pants, “Right on Daddy’s cock, just like he wants it.”

You come undone under his intense gaze with an orgasm that knocks the wind out of your chest to the point where your voice disappears, the only evidence remaining being the furrow of your brow and the open-mouthed yet silent ah. Joel can see it, sense it. 

When you come back to earth, greediness bubbles up in your chest. Despite your voice still being caught in your throat, you manage to croak out a wish, “Wanna get on top. Not finished.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” Joel groans in unison with you as he pulls out of your oversensitive cunt. It doesn’t take long to switch positions, and with a steady grip on the backrest of the couch, you drag your wet heat across Joel’s painfully hard dick. It twitches against your cunt, and he whines when he holds it steady for you to sink down onto.

He fills you differently like this, goes deeper, and feels impossibly bigger. You give an experimental roll of your hips and Joel’s hands fly to your hips, his head falling backward and his body slumping into the seat. 

Your initial pace is slow but you want to move faster, yet your body is held in place by Joel’s hands having slid up to hold around your waist. He sets the pace just like before, pushing a little on your back to arch it just how you like to do it yourself. The tip of his cock pokes into your front wall, and the slow sensation of getting it to slide over your g-spot has you thrashing in his lap.

“Need ya to come without me touchin’ your pretty little clit,” he begs without saying please and then slides his thumbs down to rest below your belly button, “Missed it so much, couldn’t stop thinkin’ about it.”

He presses the two digits into your flesh, adding the amount of pressure that he has found out is just right by playing with you for hours during the summer. You keen, head lolling to the side and your jaw going slack, “Just like that, Daddy. I’m gonna come if you keep going like that!”

He allows you to ride him in earnest after that, bouncing in his lap and causing the front of his thighs to slap noisily up into your ass. Your whole body trembles at the force, building the pressure that you’ve come to know so well after Joel pulled himself together to fuck you that one day. 

“Fuck, you givin’ me another one already? Lucky Daddy,” he growls, still denting your belly with his thumbs. Your pulse is so incredibly fast, and your breaths are nothing but squeaks. 

You let out a high-pitched sound as your orgasm rolls through your body, electricity spreading out from your cunt to make your chest blush. You clamp down rhythmically on Joel’s cock and he nearly slides down onto the floor with the way that he melts under you. The thick head continues to ram into your g-spot to keep the second high going for as long as your body will allow, but whereas your voice was gone earlier, you force out a request.

With your hips not stilling, you lock eyes with him and give him a lazy smile, “Tell me when you’re about to come, Daddy.”

“Fuck, won’t be long,” he pants.

“Tell me when,” you repeat.

“N-now, princess!” 

You don’t warn him as you lift yourself up from his dick to slide down onto the floor, kneeling with a dirty smile. He catches on fast, swearing under his breath at the realization, and spreads his legs so you can settle between them. 

Quickly, you guide his cock to the far back of your mouth and suck him like he is a popsicle and it’s a hot summer’s day. He sure tastes good, arguably better than normally because he is coated in your sweet slick. The dramatic part of you would say that he tastes like sin. 

He hisses loudly above you, immediately yanking at your hair when you swallow him down enthusiastically. You make sure to hum so that your muscles clench around his length and the vibrations go down his shaft. 

You’re delusional with post-orgasmic pleasure as you bob your head, squeaking as Joel painfully pulls at your hair to the point where you can hear a few strands of hair pop off your scalp. He is so close, twitching in your mouth with every beat of his heart.

When you hollow your cheeks, he comes on your tongue with a loud groan. His hips stutter slightly but you expertly move with him so nothing spills, and so you can push it to the back of your mouth and swallow. 

You radiate pride as you pull off of his spit-slicked cock. He breathes heavily, utterly spent and relishing in it. 

“See? No mess to clean,” you rest your cheek against his knees as his cock softens. 

“Wow, clever girl,” he praises with the little energy he has left whilst you beam. He holds out his hand for you to take, “C’mere, baby.”

You don’t know how long the two of you lie down on the couch together, naked bodies completely entwined. Your back is pressed against Joel’s chest, and you are giggling as you talk about tedious date-like things that somehow feel like they’re the most interesting things in the world. You ask Joel about his favorite color to which he says that he doesn’t have one because he’s a grownass man. So you playfully roll your eyes and continue on to the topic of favorite songs, would-you-rathers, embarrassing habits…

Joel answers them reluctantly and shyly at first but then seems to relax into it when you answer your own questions with a laugh that has his heart beating so fast that you can feel it against your back. 

And then you go again, spooning this time, and you don’t make a joke about his outstanding refractory period because you are too busy trying to make sense of how many orgasms he pulls from you by sliding his hand down your belly and between your thighs.

The pattern starts over. You talk a bit more, but the topic never lands on what you had planned during your way-too-sugary (Joel’s words) lunch together.

Instead, Joel suggests bringing you to his shower, but you reassure him that you are far from done with him for the night, so he might as well save the hot water and the money for the heating bill.

He hums in agreement but does, however, convince you to hydrate with a huge glass of water and to wipe yourself down with a damp flannel that he gets for you during a lie about having to pee. The flannel has cooled down on its journey from the bathroom but it soothes your aching clit the second you hold it over the swollen nub. You sigh contentedly whilst Joel lays down behind you once again. 

“Right, where were we?” You say excitedly. 

Joel sighs into your neck and tightens an arm around you, “Thought I had made ya forget about that.”

“Well excuse me for wanting to get to know you better,” you tut, patting the hand that splays on your belly, “Now tell me if you were a jock in high school.” 

“You got some nerve,” his chest rumbles as he talks, “Definitely wasn’t. I spent all my teen years keepin’ my baby brother outta trouble, you think I had time to play football? Did try baseball once though.”

“I feel like there’s a joke about balls in there,” you lean back and turn slightly to look up at him, wiggling your brows. 

“Shut up,” he laughs, and you don’t think you have ever witnessed the man laugh as much as he has done in the last hour. 

“I’m just saying you don’t know if you haven’t tried it,” you continue. A warm feeling settles in your heart as he breaks into another grin followed by a chuckle. The hand on your stomach digs into your side, triggering a fit of gleeful giggles as you are tickled. He overpowers you so easily and you quickly find that he is relentless. It’s a fight, a struggle that turns into several kisses everywhere on your face when he is suddenly on top of you again.

That’s when you hear a knock on the door. You look at each other for a second before Joel shoots up from the couch, already pulling on his boxers and fighting to make his semi-hard cock go down. He points at you, “Stay down. They can’t see you if ya just stay down. Ain’t gonna invite anyone in.” 

You make yourself as flat as possible and hear Joel’s sharp intake of breath as he looks through the spy hole. 

“‘S your old man,” he says, flinching when there’s another rap on the door. 

Your pulse spikes, “Well then don’t act suspicious.”

“Right, didn’t think of that,” he deadpans, quickly flattening the hair that has been yanked by you a few times tonight, “Don’t say a thing, okay?”

Joel opens the door after your dad starts calling for him on the other side. He smiles a little forced at first, “Sorry, was just tryna look presentable.”

“Family’s out, so I thought I’d see if ya wanted to catch a game,” your dad says, and you can hear the smile on his face and him holding up what you assume to be a six-pack. 

“Now’s not really a good time,” Joel replies. You dare to look up through your lashes in the front door’s direction. Joel has a hand on the doorframe, barring the door in case your father tries to invite himself in. 

“I won’t be here long!” 

Joel’s feet shift a little, “Just ain’t a good time, buddy.”

“What does that mean? And why are ya barely dressed—“ there’s a brief pause, then, “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Got someone over? Ya old dog. Damn, look at you. Still got it,” your father’s hand is visible in the doorway. It nudges Joel’s shoulder, “Why didn’t you just say so?”

Because it’s your fucking daughter and it’s the best sex she’s ever had, you think to yourself and consider screaming into the cushions. 

“Right,” your dad hands over the sixpack, “You need this more than me. I’m proud of ya, Miller.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Joel rushes to end the conversation, “‘Nother time. I’ll call you.”

They exchange goodbyes. You peek up at Joel when he closes the door, awaiting his next words to figure out how to react. He stays silent though, even as he walks to the couch again. 

You bend your knees to let him fall into one of the seats. He runs a hand over his scruff, and you refrain from placing your feet in his lap. 

“That was…” He eventually breathes without any tone to his voice, “Somethin’.”

“Good for you for getting laid,” you joke. 

He clicks his tongue at you, “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” you move to get up from your seat, hold your hand out for him to take, “C’mon. Let’s go shower, wash that guilt off your face.” 

“Ain’t guilt, just concern,” he promises as you help him up. He makes a gesture to the both of you, “Could never feel guilty 'bout this.” 

“We ain’t talking about that after we almost got busted by my dad,” you repeat his phrase from lunch, mocking his southern drawl. 

“I feel like there’s no better time to do it,” he catches on with a smile. 

You kiss him, and start to pull him along, “Tomorrow.”

.

.

.

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[beskarandblasters]

Mothman Fever

Mothman!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Author’s note: Shout out to @nostalxgic for making this killer graphic for me!! Also the kick ass banners and !!Mothman!! dividers are by @saradika!! This was my first time writing any sort of monster fucking so let me know how I did!!

Summary: You and your friends head to Point Pleasant, West Virginia in late September for the Mothman Festival. And that’s where you meet Joel Miller, a fellow Mothman enthusiast. But once you spend some time alone with him you realize that he’s not who he says he is.

Word count: 5.6k

Warnings: reader is able-bodied, canon divergent, no outbreak, drinking, semi public sex, use of pet names (luna lol), oral sex (F receiving), fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, sex pollen, dub con, monsterfucking, no use of y/n

“Don’t you think Mothman is kinda hot?”

You glance at your friend Tara in the rear view mirror and raise your eyebrow. 

“How can a moth be hot?”

“Oh, come on! You know he’s not a normal moth… he’s got like… muscular legs,” Janelle, your other friend, chimes in from the passenger's seat. 

“You don’t wanna fuck Mothman?” Tara asks. 

“... No? And you do?”

“How can you be a Mothmanner and not wanna fuck him?” she continues.

“Mothmanner?” you snort.

“Mothman enthusiast, whatever you wanna call it.”

“Not really. I’m more interested in him for scientific purposes.”

“That just leaves more of him for us, Tara,” Janelle says.

“Yeah, after you examine him for research we’ll tag team him.”

“You guys are gross,” you say, rolling your eyes. 

Janelle grabs your phone connected to your car through the aux and opens Spotify, searching for a song.

“Whatcha playin’?” you ask.

“Just a silly little diddy. Perfect driving song.”

The sound of a creaking door and a bubbling sound comes through your car speakers. You know exactly what she chose. As the drums kick in you ask, “Really? The Monster Mash?”

“It’s festive,” she shrugs.

“Oh yeah, turn that shit up,” Tara adds.

You roll your eyes and turn up the volume. You take the Point Pleasant exit off the highway and the anticipation brews in your stomach. You’re into all sorts of cryptids but there’s something different and intriguing about Mothman specifically that you can’t put your finger on. You’ve been picturing this moment for a long time but… not with Monster Mash playing in the background. 

Janelle turns down the music and says, “Look what I found on Facebook! There’s a group Mothman stakeout tomorrow night at the McClintic Wildlife Area. We should go!”

She hands Tara her phone and lets her look at the event details. 

“Sounds like fun. You down?” Tara asks, handing the phone back to Janelle.

“I mean, why not?” you say, entering the residential streets of Point Pleasant. 

To say the city of Point Pleasant is enthusiastic about the Mothman Festival would be an understatement. The city is decked out in decorations and the streets are littered with people in costumes. As you get closer to 4th Street, where the Mothman Museum and the famed Mothman Statue are located, it gets even busier. A black banner hung between two telephone poles reads “Welcome to the 20th Annual Mothman Festival” in white block letters. You drive down the street slowly, careful not to hit any festival goers on your way to your hotel, passing the Mothman Statue before turning onto the street your hotel is on. 

You park your car and hastily grab your bags before heading into the lobby to check in. A hotel like this in Point Pleasant, West Virginia wouldn’t normally cost a lot but it’s Mothman Festival weekend and hotels across the area have jacked up their prices. 

You get your room keys from the desk and head to the room to change quickly before hitting the town. It’s still quite early in the day, only around two in the afternoon and there’s plenty of festivities to be had. You change into a black t-shirt that says “Mothman ate my entire ass at a Denny’s”, a pair of ripped jeans and a pair of converse before heading out with your friends. 

You walk down the street and head to your first stop; the Mothman Statue who is unreasonably buff, complete with a six pack and a tight ass. Each of you take pictures slapping his ass before taking a “normal” group photo standing beside it. 

The next stop is Village Pizza where they have a pizza with toppings arranged to look like Mothman. On the way there you stop and take pictures with other festival goers who are dressed as Mothman, just having a grand ole time. 

You arrive at the pizzeria and get a booth, waiting for a server to come take your order. And that’s when you see him. No, not Mothman but an attractive human man sitting at another booth across the restaurant. You make contact and look away out of shyness. But something about you tells you to look at him again. And when you do you find he’s looking at you still, mouth curving into a smirk when you lock eyes again. This time you notice his features; graying hair, deep brown eyes, and a strong nose. He’s wearing a flannel and leaning forward on the table, resting his elbows on it. He gives you a small wave and you wave back without thinking, prompting Tara to ask, “Who are you waving at?”

“No one,” you say quickly, looking away from the man. 

“Nah, you’re lying. I’m gonna look,” Tara says, starting to turn around. 

“Don’t-” you start but it’s too late. She turns around and spots the man, who also shoots her a wave. 

“Him?” she says, turning back to face you. Janelle turns around, too. And just like with Tara, the man waves to her. 

“And what about it?” you ask. 

“Oh, he’s hot. Go over there and talk to him,” Janelle says. 

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Tara asks. 

“I’m… not that forward.”

“It’s the Mothman Festival, go fucking wild,” Janelle shrugs. 

“Agreed,” Tara nods. 

“Okay, fine. Fine! I’ll go,” you say, sliding out of the boot, legs already feeling like jelly. 

You walk over to him and watch his smirk turn into a full smile. You stand by his table and feel stupid. What kind of person makes eye contact with someone in a restaurant and just decides to boldly introduce themself? What if he’s here with another girl?

“Hi, um, I’m here with my friends and I saw you across the restaurant and I, uh, thought I’d say hello,” you say nervously, feeling even stupider by the end of your pathetic introduction. 

“Hey there. I’m Joel. Would you like to join me?”

“Are you here with anyone?”

“No, just me. My brother was supposed to come but he bailed on me to go to New Jersey.”

You sit down across from him, continuing the conversation.

“Ah so you’re not from around here?”

“No, just here for the festival, like I’m assuming you are,” he says, gesturing to your shirt. 

And now you feel self conscious of what you’re wearing but stupid shirts like this are literally all you fucking packed. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. I think it’s funny.”

“Thanks,” you say awkwardly, feeling your cheeks heat up. 

“You doing anything tonight?”

“Nothing in particular tonight. But tomorrow night my friends and I are going to that group Mothman stakeout at the McClintic Wildlife Area.”

“Oh nice. I’m going to that, too.”

“It sounds like fun!”

“Well if you’re not doing anything tonight maybe I can take you out to the bars tonight. I think some alcohol would loosen you up and make you less shy, Luna.”

“S-sure that sounds like fun. What time?” you ask, heart fluttering at the nickname. 

“Around eight. You staying in the area? I can meet you at your hotel.”

“Sounds good!” 

You tell him the name of your hotel and get up to go back to your friends. 

“And by the way,” he says, stopping you, “I’m Joel.”

You tell him your name but he still chooses to say, “See you tonight, Luna.”

You walk back to your friends and sit in the booth, finding that they already ordered the Mothman pizza and were waiting for you before they started eating. But they didn’t mind. 

“So who is he? What’s his deal?” Tara asks. 

“Uh, his name is Joel and he’s here for the festival.”

“Alone?” Janelle asks. 

“His brother bailed on him to go to Jersey.”

“Who bails on the Mothman Festival to go to New Jersey of all places?” Janelle says. 

“Not sure about that but he asked me to go out tonight.”

“You said yes, right?” Tara questions. 

“I did… Was I not supposed to?”

“No! No, you need to go. Right, Janelle?”

“Agreed.”

“Thanks, guys… He’s also going to McClintic tomorrow night, too.”

“Oooh,” they both say in unison. 

“It’ll be fun,” you say, “But let’s eat and get the other stuff on our list done. I feel bad I’m leaving you guys tonight.”

“Don’t feel bad. He’s hot,” Tara says, taking a bite of her slice of pizza.

“And older,” Janelle says.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. We’ll see if it even works out.”

“You sell yourself short. You went over and made the first move. And then he asked you out. He’s gotta be interested,” Janelle continues.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I always am,” she laughs.

You finish your pizza and head to the next stop on your list; a local coffee shop called The Coffee Grinder, where they have Mothman shaped cookies complete with red eyes. You eat your cookies and finish up at the coffee shop before heading back to the hotel, weaving in and out of the festival crowds. You get to your room and go to change, looking to wear something less embarrassing but… that’s not possible with the clothes you packed. You decide to put on a shirt that’s a little bit better; one that reads “I kissed Mothman in the lamp section of Home Depot” and opting for a skirt with the same pair of converse. 

Tara and Janelle wish you good luck on your date before you leave. You go down to the lobby a little bit before eight and wait for Joel, anxiously pacing back and forth. You feel a hand on your shoulder, startling you. You turn around to find Joel, greeting you with a smile. 

“Oh, it’s just you.”

“Just me. Didn’t mean to startle ya.”

“No worries. Where are we going?”

“Just one of the local spots downtown. There’s a band playing there tonight.”

“Sounds like fun!” 

And with that you’re walking side by side to the bar. The streets are even more lively than they were earlier in the day. You try not to notice the way he puts a protective hand on the small of your back whenever you walk through a crowd.

He leads you off the crowded street and into a bar that’s also just as busy. Luckily, he spots some empty stools at the bar and leads you over there. It’s pretty loud so getting to know him here might not be in the cards for tonight but at least you’ll have the alcohol to loosen you up a bit like Joel said. Joel orders a beer and you order a special blood orange margarita, complete with a gummy butterfly on top– how festive.

“You must be pretty into Mothman, huh? I guess ya gotta be if you’re coming here,” he says, half shouting over the loud music. 

“Haha, yeah! My friends think he’s hot.”

“Really?” he says, eyes widening as he takes a sip of his drink. 

“Yeah, I don’t really get it! I just think he’s interesting but if he were real they’d probably try to fuck him or something.”

“You wouldn’t, Luna?” he asks, a playful grin spreading across his face. There it is, that nickname again.  

“You would?” you counter. 

“Maybe if he bought me dinner first,” he laughs. 

After a few more laughs and another round of drinks, you feel yourself loosening up a bit and enjoying the night more. From what you can tell, Joel seems like a nice, southern guy who’s a fellow cryptid enthusiast, no red flags so far. 

“I have to ask, Luna… Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks after the third round of drinks. He’s definitely a little tipsy by now. 

“No, sir,” you say, immediately regretting the sir that slipped out. 

He inches a little closer to you, eyes looking you up and down, and says, “What do ya say we get out of here?” 

Is it a stupid idea to leave a bar and go somewhere with a man you just met earlier that day? Probably. But do you care? Not really, especially in your slightly inebriated state. 

You nod and he flags down the bartender to pay the tab, before grabbing your hand and walking you out of the bar. 

“Where are we going?” you ask when you step back out onto the street. 

“Wherever,” he says nonchalantly, “But tell me Luna, are you a dirty girl?” his large hand grabbing your waist as you walk, pulling you closer into him. 

You can’t deny you want him. And you’re feeling a bit more confident than usual. 

“For you? Sure am.”

“Dirty enough to do it in an alley?”

“Oh fuck yeah,” you drunkenly say, excitement building up between your legs. 

He turns a corner, leading you down a small, dimly lit alleyway. You ignore all of the red flags practically screaming at you. Between your undeniable attraction to Joel and the alcohol, your judgment is heavily impaired to say the least.

He walks you to the end of the alley, to a spot where you hopefully won’t get caught. With a brick wall pressed up against your back, he starts placing wet, open mouthed kisses along your neck, hands greedily pawing your breasts over your shirt. A small gasp escapes your lips when he nips at the soft skin on your neck, hard enough to leave a mark that your friends are definitely going to question later. 

His hand slips under your skirt, toying with the fabric of your underwear; your damp underwear. He pulls it to the side, running his fingers along your entrance, collecting whatever wetness is there and bringing his hand in front of your face to show you. 

“This,” he says, rubbing his thumb against his index and middle finger, pulling them apart and watching your wetness stretch with it, “is all the evidence I needed,” he finishes. 

The deranged and devious look in his eyes as he looks at the physical evidence of how bad you want him makes your knees weak. He brings his fingers to his mouth, tasting your juices and sucking them clean, closing his eyes at the taste. He replaces fingers back on your cunt, stroking it lightly and nipping your neck again. 

“You taste so fucking good, Luna. So sweet,” he says, coming out as a low growl. 

Without warning, he pushes two fingers in, not letting you warm up with a single one first. He curls them against your walls and you’re so drunk you forget you’re in public, letting out a moan that’s just a bit too loud. 

“Shh,” he whispers against your neck and you try your best to keep quiet…

Until you hear a stern “HEY!” causing you to gasp. 

He pulls his fingers from you quickly and you both look to your right to see a police officer with a flashlight, pointed directly at you. The officer’s eyes trail down to your skirt and then back up to your neck; to the marks on your neck. He sighs. 

“Really guys? Trying to fuck in an alley like a couple of teenagers?”

You stand up straight and smooth your skirt down, unsure of what to do next. 

He sighs again and says, “Get outta here before I arrest you for public indecency! Damn festival goers…”

You blink a few times, in disbelief that he’s letting you go. But Joel grabs your hand and leads you out of the alley, with you holding your breath the whole time. The cop mutters something about how he thought he caught a drug deal as you walk past him. When you hit the sidewalk you exhale, letting the tension leave you. As for Joel he starts hysterically laughing, a stark contrast to the embarrassment you’re feeling. 

He notices the look on your face and asks, “What? You didn’t think that was funny?” while trying to hold back more laughter. 

“Not really!” you say, lightly slapping him on the arm. 

“Aw come on, Luna. He just blamed it on the festival and let us off with a warning. It could’ve been a lot worse but it wasn’t!” he reassures you. 

“I guess you’re right,” you sigh. 

Your phone vibrates in your bag so you pull it out. Your friends are texting you, asking you when you’ll be back. The time on the screen says two in the morning but how is that even possible? Joel met you at eight and you only went to one bar, only had three rounds of drinks and you didn’t go all the way in the alley just now. Chalking it up to being drunk and losing track of time, you put your phone back in your bag and say to Joel, “I think I should get back to my friends.”

“Of course,” he says, “I’ll take you back now.”

The walk back to your hotel is somewhat quiet. The festival goers on the streets are mostly cleared up by now. You assume the quietness is due to the embarrassment from earlier and you wonder if Joel is mad at you for getting worked up. You shake your head and try to put that thought out of your mind, still trying to salvage what you have with him, if anything at all. 

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” you start just as you turn onto the block your hotel is located on, “And I’m excited to see you tomorrow at the Mothman stakeout.”

“Me, too, Luna,” he says, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “Trust me, we’ll have lots of fun tomorrow night.” 

You stop at the entrance to your hotel and begin to part ways. He pulls you in for a kiss and wishes you goodnight. But before he leaves he exchanges phone numbers with you, just in case it’s hard to find each other at the stakeout tomorrow night. You type your name into his phone followed by a butterfly emoji. He chuckles when he sees it, saying, “See you tomorrow, Luna.” And with that, he turns and walks down the street, disappearing into the night. 

Heading back up to the room, you replay the night’s events, trying to get a read on Joel and determine your feelings for him. You decide that you’re definitely interested in him… but you need to know more. Upon entering the door, Tara and Janelle are standing within just a few feet of the entrance, side by side and arms folded. 

“What?” you ask, reading the expression on their faces. 

“An update would’ve been nice,” Tara says. 

“I lost track of time!” you reply. 

“I get that but you were with some mystery man you just met today. You don’t know his intentions!” Janelle adds. 

“You’re right,” you sigh, “Nothing crazy happened. I just forgot to look at my phone.”

“We’re just glad that you’re okay! …And that we can finally go to bed now,” Tara says, yawning and moving over to the bed. 

“Sorry to keep you guys up! But thanks for being concerned for me. I’m just gonna be in the bathroom,” you say. 

They nod and get into bed, while you go to the bathroom to inspect the marks on your neck under better lighting. And sure enough, there’s several marks and there they are but there’s also… a gold film? Perhaps sheen is the right word? Whatever is it there’s flecks of gold peppered along the hickeys. Maybe it’s something from the bar? That’s the most logical explanation you can think of. You complete your nighttime routine and head off to bed, head filled with dreams of Joel, filling in the gaps of information about him. 

-

The next day is a blur, a myriad of events strewn together haphazardly. Your friends can tell you’re in a sort of daze; you can tell by the way they look at you, but they choose to say nothing. First, you went back to The Coffee Grinder because after your late night, you desperately need caffeine. After that, you hit up the Mothman Museum, taking advantage of some special exhibits and talks for the festival. And finally, it’s time to get ready for what you’re most excited for; the group Mothman stakeout at the McClintic Wildlife Area. But you haven’t heard from Joel at all throughout the day. And you’re starting to worry. Maybe he doesn’t actually like you, maybe he decided that after you guys got caught in the alley you weren’t worth his time. But he did say he was going tonight and you hope he keeps his word. 

You head to the hotel to change, opting for another one of your stupid fucking t-shirts, leggings and a pair of sneakers. This time your t-shirt reads; “Mothman is real and he sells me weed in the Waffle House parking lot” because why wouldn’t it? 

You pack up your camping supplies; a sleeping bag, a backpack, some snacks along with a bear canister to store them in, a canteen full of water, and a lighter. 

The sun is just starting to set now and it’s about time to go. Before you leave the hotel you decide to text Joel: 

Hey, will I see you tonight?

You wait with bated breath for a response. And to your surprise it comes rather quickly. 

Of course, Luna. Wouldn’t miss it for the world🦋

You exhale, feeling a little bit better about things between you two and head out with your friends. You drive to the McClintic Wildlife Area and park your car in the parking lot, which is decently full. But that was to be expected. What’s the point of coming to the Mothman Festival if you’re not going to try and catch a glimpse of the real thing?

You grab your stuff from the trunk of your car and set off into the forest, following the other Mothman enthusiasts until you reach a clearing where others have already set out their sleeping bags. In the middle of the ring of sleeping bags there’s a fire going, surrounded by people already drinking and socializing. Tara and Janelle spot two guys sitting by the fire and decide to head over to them. You can’t blame them, you did leave them all night last night. So you set up your sleeping bag where there’s a free spot, sit down, and wait for Joel. 

And… nothing. The sun sets and you haven’t heard from him. Tara and Janelle make eye contact with you periodically, shooting you looks that are supposed to ask, “Are you okay?” and you nod back to them, not wanting to ruin their fun. You lay down and look at the stars above you, just about to accept the fact that Joel stood you up when all of a sudden you feel your phone vibrate next to you. 

You hold up your phone in front of your face and to your surprise it’s a text from Joel reading:

Hey, I just found the most convincing piece of Mothman evidence ever. Come look. 

You sit up and look around, confusion on your face. He’s nowhere to be found. 

You type out: 

I don’t see you. Where are you?

He replies: 

Look behind you.

You turn around and look at the line of trees behind you and yet again… nowhere to be found. 

You go to type a response back but he beats you to it, saying:

I can see you. I don’t want to leave the evidence behind… Just come to the trees, Luna.

You sigh and get up, making sure to take your phone with you. Tara makes eye contact with you so you pretend you’re taking a phone call, pointing to your phone and putting it by your ear. She nods and you turn to walk towards the tree line, a nervous pit forming in your stomach. This is such a bad idea. It’s such a typical stupid girl in a horror movie trope and yet here you are, walking into a dark forest to meet a man you just met yesterday. 

You reach the trees and take a deep breath before walking into the woods, turning on your phone’s flashlight. You call out Joel’s name and don’t hear anything. Rolling your eyes, you call him on your phone, getting a little fed up now. He doesn’t pick up but you hear a ringtone in the distance. You groan and follow the sound, because if you can hear Joel’s phone but not Joel… who’s to say that Mothman is actually real and he got Joel? 

You find his phone resting on a fallen tree, the screen lit up with Incoming Call followed by your name. You pick up the phone and look around, shining the flashlight out in front of you. 

You smell something in the air… something fruity… almost like apple cider… with a hint of citrus? A golden mist hangs in the air, permeating the area around you and filling your senses. Whatever’s around you smells good and inviting. Without thinking, you take a deep breath, letting the smell and the mist calm you down. A warmth brews between your legs and your skin feels hot, at first it’s comforting… But soon enough it becomes unbearable. Sweat beads up on your forehead and the warmth between your legs grows stronger. A presence behind you is apparent; it’s daunting. Something tells you to turn around and when you do, you can’t believe your eyes. 

Towering above you is Mothman himself. You’re met with glowing red eyes, a muscular stature, large wings fanning out behind him, and threatening claws. He’s tall, anywhere from seven to eight feet tall, his monstrous eyes practically burning a hole into you. You should be terrified right now, running for your life back to your friends. Or at the very least taking some pictures. Instead you’re frozen, not in fear… but in desire. The warmth that was brewing between your legs is unignorable. 

“Joel?” you call out in a small voice. 

The creature takes a step towards you almost as if it can understand. Your skin feels like it’s burning, like if someone were to touch you the heat of your skin would also burn them. It’s like torture, one of the most agonizing sensations you’ve ever felt. Without even thinking you drop your phone and his, pulling off your shirt over your head, and instantly feeling some relief, but it’s not enough. You kick off your shoes, sliding your pants down your legs, followed by your underwear. The cool forest air hits your skin, perking up your nipples and providing you with seconds of relief, but it’s still not enough. The creature’s eyes scan your features, training up and down your naked form.

The air moves around you, and so does the gold mist. Right before your eyes the creature shapeshifts, losing its wings and claws, returning to a normal human height, turning… into Joel? And yet even still he keeps the unmistakable glowing red eyes. He looks at you with a devilish grin, stepping closer towards you. He’s completely naked, body shimmering under the pale moonlight and the flashlight on the forest floor beneath him. 

“So once again, Luna, are you a dirty girl?”

“Y-yes,” you stutter out, your body practically calling out for him. 

He grabs you by the waist and pushes you down so you’re lying against a flat rock behind you. The coolness of the rock is a stark contrast against the heat radiating off of your body. Joel spreads your legs apart forcefully, marveling at your cunt and how it’s already dripping for him. His red eyes flash back up at you, taking note of the desperate look in your eye before feasting on your cunt. He licks your cunt in a way that can only be described as animalistic, flicking his tongue across your clit and lapping at your entrance. You writhe against the rock and Joel has to hook his arms around your thighs to keep you steady; to keep your cunt directly on his mouth. The tension in your core builds as he continues to eat you out, tongue swirling around your sex as he drinks in your juices. With one last flick of his tongue you cum against him, one of the wettest and longest orgasms you’ve ever had. The movement of your hips slows down as you come down from your high but alas… barely any relief. 

Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you let out a soft whimper. His glowing eyes meet yours and he asks, “Still not enough, huh Luna?”

“No. No, it’s not. Please, Joel, I need more.”

He lets out a dark chuckle, bringing his fingers to your cunt and stroking it lightly, gathering your wetness on his large hand and rubbing it between his fingers. He pushes two fingers inside you, knowing you’re well past needing to warm up with one first. He curls them against your walls, letting his fingers get absolutely soaked. He brings his thumb to your clit, rubbing small, fast circles around it while his fingers inside you push against your g-spot. In no time you’re coming again, your cunt fluttering around his fingers rhythmically. Your release soaks his hand all the way down to his wrist and he leaves his fingers inside you, just feeling your cunt clench and relax around him. Your body feels euphoric, tingling sensations coursing through your limbs but still… it’s not enough. 

“How you feelin’, Luna?”

“I still… I still need more,” you whine. 

“Beg,” he says, hovering over you, red eyes staring directly into yours. 

“Joel, please. I need it,” you beg.

“How bad?”

“So fucking bad,” you whine, sounding completely delirious. 

“I suppose,” he teases, spreading your wetness onto his already hard cock, whose size is intimidating…

He pushes into you in one swift motion, hooking his muscular arms around your thighs and leaning forward, folding you in half. You’re face to face with him now, his non-human eyes locked onto yours. His cock stretches your walls, hitting the deepest angles inside you as he fucks you relentlessly; completely feral. You look up at him with the tree covered moon above him, completely in awe of what’s happening to you. You swear his face flashes from his human form to his Mothman form, but only for a split second. He brings his mouth to your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin even harder than the night before, surely enough to leave darker marks and more gold film. With one last slam of his hips you’re coming on his cock, your cunt convulsing erratically. He fucks you through it, making it last even longer. Your own release pulls his own from him, and it’s powerful. You feel his warm cum spilling inside you, strong and like it’s never ending. You’re silently grateful you’re on birth control even though you don’t know what the effects Mothman cum will have on you. Eventually your orgasm ebbs and flows as it winds down and Joel slowly comes to a halt. He stays inside you for a moment, keeping his eyes locked on you. 

“I bet now you’re good. Completely spent, ain’t that right, Luna?”

“Mhm,” you say, still a little breathless. 

Eventually he goes soft and his eyes shift back into their usual warm brown shade. He pulls out and lies down next to you. You roll over and rest against him, his own body burning up just like yours. You’re too exhausted to even question what just happened, letting sleep quickly overtake you. 

-

You wake up the next morning alone, the sunlight peeking through the tree cover. You sit up and rub your eyes, looking around you for any sign of Joel. But he’s gone. 

You try to remember last night but it’s all foggy, like it’s a distant memory already. You vaguely remember the fruity scent and the gold mist in the air. You look down at your skin and there’s still traces of it there but not much. You pull on your clothes and grab your phone, looking at the time before rushing to get back to Tara and Janelle. They must be worried sick about you. You power walk back to the group, just trying to get there quickly but also not so panicked that they’ll think something is wrong. From what you can tell, you’re fine. Just a little dazed with a soreness in your core and a stickiness running down your legs. 

You’re back in the clearing and coming up on the collection of sleeping bags. Tara and Janelle spot you and wave, completely cheery with wide smiles. Not the response you were expecting. 

“Sorry, I didn’t think I’d be gone that long,” you say, stopping in front of their sleeping bags. 

“Don’t be! Looks like you got lucky, too,” Tara says with a wink, looking at your disheveled state. 

“Did you guys-”

“Mhm,” Janelle says, “With those guys you saw us talking with. Did you end up finding Joel?”

“You bet I did. But didn’t spot any signs of Mothman?” you ask.  

They both shake their heads no and you sigh. 

“Guess there’s always next year,” you say, bending down to pack up your stuff; stuff that you didn’t even end up using. 

You walk back to your car after you’re all packed, feeling your phone vibrate in your bag. 

You pull it out to find a text from Joel reading:

Until next time, Luna🦋

Looks like the Mothman Festival will be an annual tradition. 

Part two

End note: Hope y'all liked that!!

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[justagalwhowrites]

I saw this video and I feel like something like this would be fun to read! I have to ask would you ever consider writing a kidnapper!Joel fic?

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8Dfp6Na/

Hi Bestie!

So.... Yes :)

Not quite the vibe of the linked video but I hope you enjoy it!

Run Rabbit: Part One

It was just over a year after the world ended that you were captured by Joel and Tommy Miller. They're harsh, they're cold and they're killers. But, as a nurse, you're a valuable person to have around and they're not the worst thing wandering the wasteland that was the United States. And there might be more to these men than meets the eye.

PLEASE READ ALL WARNINGS. Written as part of the @romana-after-dark Dead Dove December event (but posted late because it's impossible for me to make a deadline at the moment apparently.) This will be in two parts.

Relationship: Joel Miller x Female Reader X Tommy Miller

Warnings WHOLE FIC: DUBCON (reader is a captive, participation might be enthusiastic but consent is dubious under the circumstances.) Raider!Joel; Raider!Tommy; Captive reader; Canon-typical violence; graphic depictions of violence; graphic depictions of injury; attempted SA (not by Joel or Tommy); Dom/Sub dynamic but not an established relationship; Dom-ish Joel; Brat tamer-ish Joel; Sub-ish reader; DDDNE; M/F/M threesome; unprotected P in V sex; Anal sex; Oral sex; No use of Y/N; Minors DNI 18+ Only

Length: 8k

PLEASE NOTE: part one does not get smutty ❤️

Part 2

November, 2004

“You can have whatever you want, please!” 

Your hand was clamped over your mouth as you tried to keep quiet from your place below the floorboards. Your boyfriend, Zach, had tucked you into the crawl space when he ran in from hunting with three men on his tail. 

“They don’t know about you,” he’d said, breathless. “Stay quiet, I’ll get us out of this.” 

But even a year into the apocalypse, Zach wasn’t a great shot. It wasn’t long before he was out matched and the men were breaking down the door to the cabin you’d been holed up in for a few days. 

“Seemed awful keen to protect whatever it is you got,” one of the men said. “How do we know you’re not gonna just come and try to take it back?” 

“Should just kill ‘em,” another man said. “Don’t gotta worry about it then.” 

“No, no, I swear I won’t,” Zach pleaded. 

“Prove it,” the final man spoke for the first time. “Got no reason to trust you now, why should we leave you alive?”

You kept your hands tight over your mouth, trying not to cry, trying to stay quiet, hoping they’d leave Zach alive. 

“Because I have something better than supplies!” He yelled it, his words flowing together as he stumbled over them. 

“Like?” The third man said. 

“My girlfriend,” Zach panted. Your breath caught. “She was a nurse before, in an ER, she can keep you alive, you can have her, please…” 

“And where is this girlfriend?” The first man said. “You seem awful alone here…” 

You hoped Zach was just buying time, that he wouldn’t actually tell these animals where you were. 

You were wrong. 

“In the closet,” he said. “There’s a crawl space there, I told her to hide there while I took care of things here. Please, she’s worth a lot, she’s good at patching you up, she’s real pretty, you can have her, you can have her…” 

The sound of his begging almost covered the thud of boots as you heard the closet door creak open and the floor over your head disappeared. 

“Well, would you look at that,” a large man with shaggy curls and a patchy beard - the first one who has spoken, you thought - smirked down at you. “He’s not full of shit.”

“No,” you shook your head, eyes wide. “No, please…” 

The man ignored you, grabbing a fistful of fabric at your chest and hefting you up from the crawl space with a grunt. He dropped you on the ground and you tried to scramble away only to have another man grab your shoulder and throw you down. You landed on your backside, a different tall, broad man with dark curls looming over you. 

“Where you think you’re running to, little rabbit?” He smirked, the second man who had spoken. You pulled yourself back from him, looking for a way out. The third man, blond and pale and the youngest of them, stood over Zach, a gun pointed at his head. He started humming Run, Rabbit, Run as he smiled at your boyfriend, glancing your way, prowling toward Zach. A predator enjoying his prey. 

“So,” the first man dropped your pack that had been in the crawl space next to you at your side with a thud, making you jump. “You really a nurse?” 

“She is,” Zach answered for you. “She is and you can have her, please…” 

“Zach!” Tears tightened your throat. 

“I’m sorry, honey,” he said, not looking at you. “I’m sorry, but I can’t…” 

The man who pulled you from the crawl space sighed, pulling a handgun from his side, going up behind Zach and pressing the barrel to his head before pulling the trigger. Your scream hung in the air longer than the crack of the gun, the salty, metallic taste of Zach’s blood on your tongue as his body slumped to the ground. 

“Hey,” the man who shot Zach dropped to one knee in front of you, grabbing your face roughly, gripping your cheeks in his large hand. There was blood on him, too. “You really think that piece of shit is worth screamin’ and cryin’ over? He was sellin’ you, girl, he ain’t worth any grief of yours.” 

He released you and looked over his shoulder to the other dark haired man. 

“Tommy, got something we can hold her with?” The other man - Tommy, apparently - started going through his bag. He looked toward the blond next. “Vince, gather what you can, we’re heading out in 10. Made a lot of noise here, don’t want to wait and find out what that attracts.” 

“Are you going to kill me too?” You asked quietly. 

The man who seemed to be in charge cocked his head at you. 

“Now why would we go and do a thing like that?” He asked. “Your boyfriend might have been scum but he was right, you’re valuable cargo. You’re gonna be a good girl for us, right?” 

You weren’t really sure what to say to that, your heart beating so hard and fast you were sure this man could see your pulse in your throat. 

“Don’t really matter either way, does it?” He said as Tommy handed him some rope. “You either cooperate or you’re more trouble than you’re worth and we just kill you. Don’t make much difference to us. Hands out, wrists together.” 

You just looked at him and he sighed, pulling his sidearm out again and putting it below your chin. The muzzle was warm and wet from where he’d just killed Zach and, for a moment, you thought you were going to vomit. 

“Didn’t I just say I’d kill you if you got to be more trouble than you’re worth?” He said. “You’re already a lot of trouble by bein’ and extra mouth to feed so I recommend cooperating before my temper runs out. So. Hands out, wrists together.” 

You obeyed and the man wrapped your wrists in rope tight enough that you had no hope of wriggling out but not so tight that it was painful, just uncomfortable. He wrapped his large hand around the cluster of rope between your wrists and yanked you to your feet. 

“Got anything on you I should be worried about?” He asked. “Be a lot easier on you if you tell me now than later.” 

“Knife,” you said, voice shaky. “Right pocket.” 

“Good girl.” 

He reached into your pocket and pulled the weapon free, opening and examining the blade. 

“Know how to use this?” He asked, brows raised. 

“I’ve used it,” you replied. He nodded and closed it, putting it in his pocket. 

“Be a good enough girl for a long enough time and maybe you can get it back,” he said before turning to Tommy. “I’m gettin’ a head start with this one, heading north west, back to site. You know the way.” 

“I know it,” he said. “We’ll clear out quick, catch up soon.” 

The man who had you grabbed your pack from the floor and slung it over his shoulder before bringing his rifle around to his front, nudging you forward with the muzzle. 

“Let’s go,” he said. “Try and take off and I’ll shoot ya. And I don’t miss.” 

The man kept close to you, nudging you along in front of him and you tried not to trip on roots and overgrown brush but you’d only been walking about 20 minutes when you failed, falling with a pained grunt. The man sighed and grabbed you by the collar, pulling you to your feet. 

“You OK?” He asked, gun pointed at the ground and not at you. 

“Yes,” you said, even though your hands were scraped up and your knees hurt and you had your boyfriend’s blood on your skin and your throat hurt from screaming.

“Keep movin’,” he ordered. 

You kept looking back over your shoulder at him. He reminded you of a guy you dated once who was in the army. He never looked in one place too long, head constantly turning, looking, searching. There were threats, he knew that. He also knew how to see them coming. The gun was tilted toward the ground but close and ready. You were waiting for him to change his mind about you, to shoot you, too. Part of you wondered if this was part of a game for him, if he was going to walk with you just long enough to lull you into a false sense of security before shooting you. Maybe he liked the fear, the surprise. Maybe he’d given too much away by killing Zach and now he couldn’t get what he wanted from you. 

Maybe that was better than the alternative.

You were only walking about an hour when the other men, Tommy and Vince, caught up to you. The man you were with turned and pointed the gun, noticing their approach before you did. You froze, only realizing that it was probably a good time to run now that his attention was elsewhere once it was too late. 

“Just us, Joel,” Tommy called as they climbed up the hill you’d just made it up yourselves. “No trouble behind us.” 

The man - Joel, apparently - lowered the rifle and the men joined you. They had four packs between the two of them, two you didn’t recognize and two backpacking bags that you recognized as yours and Zach’s. Your stomach turned. 

“Not a terrible haul,” Tommy said. “These two had decent gear and must have just taken somethin’ good. A lot of jerky, good stock of ammo, some medical shit.” 

Joel looked down at you, his eyebrows raised. 

“You know how to use the shit in those bags?” He asked. You just looked back at him. He sighed and grabbed a fist full of your hair, jerking you close to him, making you squeak in shock. “Don’t play dumb, girl, you know how to use that shit?” 

“No,” you said sarcastically, not sure where the guts for that came from. “I enjoy hauling around shit I can’t do anything with.” 

Joel’s jaw tensed and you weren’t sure if he was about to yell or laugh. 

“Not gonna get far with an attitude like that, little rabbit,” Tommy said, but he was smirking a little. “Lot better for you if you just answer the questions when we ask ‘em.” 

You looked between the two men closest to you for a moment. You wondered if they were related. Their eyes were the same, same hair, too. They would have been handsome in another context, one where you weren’t afraid they were about to kill you. 

“It’s mine,” you said after a moment. “We were backpacking when the outbreak happened, we didn’t even know for a day or two, we were in the middle of the mountains and there weren’t other people around. I know how to use it all.” 

Joel released you. 

“Good to know you ain’t completely useless,” he said. 

“You mean outside the fact that I can save your life?” You bit out. Again, you weren’t sure why. 

He snorted. 

“Outside of that. Keep movin’.” 

With the other men there, Tommy took the lead and you followed, Vince and Joel behind you. You could feel Vince’s eyes on you, the cold, lecherous feeling of his gaze making your stomach churn. 

Night was starting to fall by the time you reached a cabin that showed greater signs of people than you’d seen in what felt like forever. There was a stack of wood on the front porch, a line between the house and a tree that looked like it was meant for drying clothes, barrels placed to gather rain water. You stopped, staring at the small structure. 

“Inside,” Joel said after a moment. 

“I have to pee.” 

He sighed. 

“Vince,” he said. “Take her to piss. Don’t fuckin’ touch her unless she tries to run, got it?” 

Vince groaned but nudged you off to the side of the house with the muzzle of his gun. You looked around, trying to get a lay of the land, see what a good route out might be. There was a small path that looked like it would take you deeper into the woods, eventually up into the Smokies. That was fine. If you could get your pack, you could survive out there for at least a week or two on your own, maybe find a settlement or something. You’d never had to survive on your own, you’d never hunted or shot a human being. Zach had handled that. You weren’t sure how long you could really make it on your own but you’d rather give that a shot than leave yourself to whatever these men had in store for you. 

“Here’s good,” Vince said after two minutes of walking. You held out your wrists and he raised his eyebrows. “You think I’m a fucking idiot?” 

“I can’t really pull my pants down like this,” you said. “I’m not a man, I can’t just whip my dick out…” 

He stomped over to you and unbutton and unzipped your jeans before yanking them down to your knees, ignoring your surprised sound before going back to your hips. His fingers trailed over your skin, sinking into the meat of your ass and making your stomach churn, before he pulled your panties down, too. You could feel his eyes on you, lingering on you, before he stood up. 

“There,” he said. “Happy?” 

He walked a few steps away and turned back to look at you. 

“I can’t go with you watching.” 

He shrugged. 

“Not my problem. You have to go bad enough, you’ll go.” 

You glared at him and held his gaze before squatting and peeing, missing toilet paper and privacy more than you had since the damn outbreak started. You straightened up when you were done and stood there, still looking at him. 

“Afraid you’ll have to come pull up my pants, too,” you said. “Since your boss apparently wants you to wait on me hand and foot.” 

A muscle in the man’s neck twitched but he stalked over and yanked your clothes back up, harshly buttoning and zipping your jeans before shoving you back toward the cabin hard enough that you stumbled. 

Inside, Joel and Tommy were sitting at a rustic table, a fire going in the nearby fireplace. There were two Nalgene bottles of water on the table and a bag of jerky between them. The jerky you recognized. You and Zach had made it just a few days earlier. 

You tried not to think about it. 

“He behave himself?” Joel asked, stretched out with his legs far in front of him. 

“You’re really gonna take this little cunt’s word over mine?” Vince asked. 

Joel just kept looking at you, ignoring him entirely. 

“Asked you a question girl,” he said. “He keep his hands to himself?” 

You glanced at Vince who was staring down Joel, his blue eyes hot and angry. You looked back to Joel. 

“He was fine,” you said. 

“Good,” Joel said, getting up, grabbing a bottle of water and going over to you. He put one of his huge hands on your shoulder, guiding you to the nearby couch and nudging you down onto it. 

You obeyed his unspoken command, lowering yourself slowly down but not relaxing into the cushion, staying on the edge of it. 

“Open,” he ordered. 

Your eyes narrowed. He glared back. 

“Open your mouth,” he said when you didn’t obey. 

“You put your dick in my mouth I’ll bite it clean off.”

Joel squared his jaw and held up the bottle of water. 

“Don’t got a smaller bottle right now and you can’t hold this with your hands tied. Don’t want you droppin’ dead from dehydration after we went through all the trouble to get you here so open your goddamn mouth.” 

You ground your teeth for a moment before you obeyed. He unscrewed the top and poured the water on your tongue, crisp and cool and making you aware of just how thirsty you’d become in the few hours you’d been with him. 

“Good girl,” he said. “Was that so hard?” 

Eventually, he stopped and you closed your mouth, wiping your lips on the back of your tied hands as he closed the bottle. 

“Don’t gotta worry about that shit from us,” he said. “Prefer when a woman begs for it, not about to take it from one who ain’t.” 

“Because I can trust what a group of murderers says,” you snapped. 

“Murderers,” Joel shrugged. “Not rapists. Hungry?” 

“Why?” You asked, tongue still sharp. “Going to be kind enough to give me scraps of the food you stole from me?” 

“Something like that,” Joel said. “If you’re gonna try to starve yourself to death, just let me know. Save you the trouble and put you down quick instead.” 

You watched him for a moment. For some reason, you trusted what he was saying to you. That he wasn’t going to hurt you - at least, not like that. That he was intending to keep you alive. 

“Not hungry,” you said eventually. 

Joel shrugged. 

“If you change your mind.” 

You sat on the edge of the couch cushion as the men took inventory of what they stole from you, what they killed Zach to take. You tried not to cry. 

It’s not like you’d been especially close to Zach when the outbreak happened. You hadn’t said “I love you” yet, you’d been dating for a month and a half and fucking for just a few weeks of that. 

The backpacking trip had been a spur of the moment thing for both of you. You had some vacation time to burn before the end of the quarter, his job was flexible and you’d bonded over a shared love of the outdoors. You’d ignored the words of caution from your girlfriends when he wanted to take you hiking for a second date, the two of you ending up exhausted but proud as you came to the end of the seven mile trail he’d selected. He kissed you there for the first time, his lips salty with trail mix and sweat and a view of a valley swelling with shades of green spread out below you. 

You were somewhere in the mountains when the world collapsed. You didn’t even know it had happened until you returned to where you’d parked your car to find the windows smashed and the inside looted, a body missing a chunk of its skull not far away. You’d ran to it on instinct, dropping to your knees beside them to check their pulse even though it was clear that there was no way they would be alive. Their skin was cold and there were fibrous, vine-like tendrils swarming in their brain. 

It had been you and Zach from there. He was more of a survivalist than you. He knew how to hunt and trap, taught you how to skin a rabbit and process a deer. You weren’t sure if you’d truly come to love him or not, if the feeling you had for him was just what happened when you went about surviving the end of the world with another person and became dependent on them for your very life. 

But you were certain that he hadn’t loved you. Not really. If he had, he never would have given you over to these men. 

You’d never have done that to him.

Maybe you did love him. You weren’t sure you’d ever know. 

“Sleep here,” Joel ordered as the day fully shifted to night and Tommy and Vince started readying for bed. “I’m keepin’ watch for now. We were gone long enough, some dumbasses might think they can move in. Don’t try anything.” 

He went onto the porch and you stretched out on the couch, the other men going into what you expected were bedrooms at the back of the cabin. Your hands were still bound. You stared at the dying embers of the fire, the orange glow, and cried. 

***

Joel needed Vince to stop acting like a shit head. 

The man didn’t seem to understand the position he was in. He was the least valuable person here. He was young, he was dumb and he was disposable. 

He just didn’t seem to realize it. If he kept looking at you like you were something he could take, he’d find out just how disposable he was.

Joel came in from his watch about 5 a.m. to find you whimpering quietly on the couch. He sighed. 

“You really still crying over that jackass you were with?” He asked as you sniffled quietly. 

“Shut up,” your voice was thick and wet. 

“He ain’t worth it,” he said gently, sitting in the armchair that was near where your head was. He wasn’t sure why he was bothering. But then, he’d never really taken a captive before. He usually just killed people or turned them loose. You were valuable enough to keep and sending you out into the wilderness alone seemed crueler than holding onto you. He just had no idea what the fuck he was supposed to do with you now. “He didn’t know who the fuck we were or what the fuck we’d do with you - lot worse out there than us, little girl - and he handed you over on a silver fuckin’ platter. More than happy to trade your pain for his sorry life.” 

“He’s the only person left that I knew,” you said softly. It was the first truly genuine thing Joel had heard you say. Except, maybe, when you asked if he was going to kill you. “I’m alone now.” 

“Not alone, little girl,” he said. He wasn’t sure why he was reassuring you. He shouldn’t care. “You’re better off.” 

“Why do you call me that?” You asked, lifting your head ever so slightly from the arm of the couch to look at him. “I’m not a little girl…” 

“Little compared to me,” he said. 

You scoffed and sniffed at the same time. 

“You’re a giant,” you said. “Everyone is little compared to you. Don’t see you calling Vinny there little boy…” 

Joel laughed a bit. 

“Maybe I should. And you’re a girl.” 

“I’m a woman,” you said, a spark of defiance in your tone. “I don’t think I’m much younger than you, if I am at all.” 

Joel frowned a bit at that. 

“How old are you?” He asked after a moment. 

You thought for a second, like you were doing the math. Which was fair. It’s not like he’d celebrated his last birthday, either, his stomach twisting at the thought. He had to think about it, too. 

“I’m 33,” you said. “How old are you?” 

He was surprised. Not that you looked terribly young, now that he thought about it. More that human faces lacked much definition to him anymore. Anyone older than a teenager looked about the same until they started going gray. You just seemed younger. 

“I’m 37,” he said. 

“Yeah, I’m not a girl,” you said, putting your head back down. 

“You could tell me your name,” he said. 

You scoffed. 

“Then I’m not sure what I’m supposed to call you, little girl,” he said. He could feel you glare at him. 

“I had a whole life before,” you said quietly, more to yourself than to Joel. “I had a house and a job and friends and I used to go to dinner and to concerts and buy the people I loved presents. I had a life before.” 

He realized then why he’d thought you were younger. You were, possibly, the most human person he’d come across in a year. Some small spark of divine mortality - the juxtaposition of life and a kind of death that was still possible - there in your eyes that didn’t exist in others. It seemed naive, in a way. Made you seem younger than you were. But he wasn’t sure that was it. Maybe you weren’t naive. Maybe part of you was just clinging to your humanity harder than anyone else left. 

“We all did,” he said, voice harsher than he’d really meant it to be. There was part of him that wanted to snap that tie in you. It was unfair that you got to keep it when he didn’t. But it was a kindness, too. You’d survive better without it. “You move on. Go to sleep.” 

He went to the room he shared with Tommy who was unconscious, sprawled out on the bed and snoring. Joel took the sleeping bag on the floor and stared at the ceiling, trying to make himself not listen for the sound of you crying in the next room. 

Things were surprisingly smooth with you for the next two days. Vince was a fucking idiot and got a nasty cut on his arm that you tended to, giving him stitches while he leered at you and Joel ground his teeth. 

He felt better with you tied. Your wrists, at the very least, but during the day when the men were coming and going, Joel bound you to a chair at the table. 

“Comfortable?” He asked the first time he did it. 

“No,” you spat, face scrunched in anger that was so fierce it was almost cute. If Joel even found things cute anymore. “I’m not.” 

“You gonna lose a hand from me cuttin’ off your circulation?” He asked instead. You just glared at him. “Good. Stay put, like a good girl.” 

“I hate you,” you seethed at him. 

Joel shrugged. 

“That’s fine,” he said. “Don’t gotta like me to keep me alive, do ya?” 

He went outside to gather wood. 

By the third night, you were yawning and looked barely conscious before the sun had even set. Joel frowned. 

“I keep telling you to sleep,” he said. “You ignoring me for fun or you think exhausting yourself is good for your health?” 

“I’d love to sleep,” you snapped. “But something about having my wrists bound keeps me up at night. Maybe it’s the discomfort, maybe it’s the looming threat of death, who can say?” 

Joel pulled Tommy and Vince aside after dinner, the men standing in the dirt outside the cabin, snow starting to drift down. 

“She hasn’t tried to hurt anyone yet,” Tommy shrugged. “Don’t think she’s gonna go far if she gets away and doesn’t seem like the kind to kill us in our sleep.” 

“Don’t like it,” Vince said, glaring at the cabin for a moment before looking back at Joel. “Can’t trust her as far as we can throw her…” 

“No one said shit about trust,” Joel cut him off. “But we can’t keep ‘er tied up forever.” 

“Fine,” Vince shrugged. “We can put her to use then kill her. Won’t need to tie her up then.” 

Joel could hear the blood in his ears. 

“Suggest that one more time, little boy, and see how long you last,” he straightened up as he said it, the full six inches he had on the younger man all the more apparent then. “You want to do that kind of shit, find someone else to run with.” 

“Fuck, sorry,” he raised his arms in a moment of surrender before crossing them again. “Just don’t come crying to me when she slits your fucking throat.” 

“Can’t cry if she kills me, can I?” Joel said, stomping back toward the house, pushing past Vince on the way. 

You were still bound to the chair. He wordlessly unwound the rope and you relaxed your elbows, stretching your arms as best you could with your wrists still tied. 

“Hands up,” he said. You frowned, just looking at him. “You heard me, you want me to untie you or not? Hands up.” 

You practically flung your wrists at him and he tried not to laugh at you as he loosened the knot and pulled the rope from your wrists. 

The second you were free, you rolled your shoulders and closed your eyes, groaning at the feeling of it. 

“God that’s good,” you moaned before you started flexing your fingers and rotating your wrists before you glared up at him again. “What? You try being tied up for days, see how you deal with it.” 

“Rather not,” Joel said, winding up the rope. “Better be a good girl, don’t try anything stupid.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you said as you spread your arms wide and sighed. Joel found himself smiling a little for the first time in he didn’t know how long. He stopped himself. 

“Actually get some sleep,” he said, voice gruff. “No good to us exhausted.” 

He left you alone, taking the bed in he and Tommy’s room that night and Tommy taking the floor. It took effort to not listen for you moving in the front room as he drifted off. 

He wasn’t sure how long he was asleep when Tommy shook him awake. 

“Joel,” he said urgently. “She’s gone.” 

***

Absolutely none of this was ideal. 

You were exhausted, the only thing keeping you upright the adrenaline that ran through your whole body. You didn’t have supplies, your pack and all its valuable contents in the bedrooms of the men. You were stuck running through snow, leaving a clear path to follow until the woods got dense enough that the snow hadn’t piled up much. 

But you had to go, you had to go now, now, now, right now. You couldn’t spend another night there like that, not when you had the option to get away, not when you had the use of your arms back. 

Your body wouldn’t let you sleep, even for an hour or two, even just for a night to try to make a break for it tomorrow. The second Joel had freed your hands it was like you could feel every part of your body in sharp, acute detail. Every frayed nerve, every thrumming vein, every peaked hair was stark and clear. You couldn’t relax enough to sleep. You had an opening, a chance. You had to take it, you had to. 

You didn’t even have your knife. 

But you had your body and you knew how to push yourself over long distances in the mountains. You’d been good at it before, too. You’d hiked most of your life, knowing how to get yourself to make it to the top of the next ridge even when your calves were burning and your lungs felt on the verge of collapse you knew you could make it. 

All you had to do was do that now, through all the exhaustion and all the panic, and put as much distance between yourself and those men as possible. 

You’d find some way to keep yourself alive eventually. There’d be supplies or a settlement. Something. You were sure of that. 

Mostly. 

Your breath rose in a cloud in front of you and you broke away from the trail into the brush of the woods, thankful that the moon was bright enough that you could have some sense of where you were going. 

You were just starting to relax a little when you heard it behind you. A sharp, shrill whistle. You froze. 

“Come on out, little rabbit,” Tommy called. “Not gonna hurt you…” 

“Shit,” you whispered as you panted for breath. They sounded pretty far away but they’d catch up eventually. 

You scrambled through the forest until you reached a cluster of ferns that was thick and full and you ducked into it. If you stayed quiet and still, they’d walk right past you. You could stay put for a while and then find your way from there. Simple. 

You tried to not shake from cold and fear as you heard the signs of the men getting close. There was the crunch of sticks, the rustle of leaves and the eerie sound of Vince humming Run, Rabbit, Run. The glare of a flashlight trickled between the ferns and you held your breath, the humming getting louder. 

For a second, a glorious second, you thought you were in the clear. Vince had passed your hiding spot, poking through the brush closest to the trail with his rifle but you were just far enough off the trail that he missed you, and you relaxed. 

Then you heard the snap of a twig. 

“Found you.” 

You spun, Vince turning the flashlight on and shining it in your face, all but blinding you. You threw up a hand instinctively to protect your eyes and he grabbed your wrist, yanking you out of your hiding spot and almost pulling your arm out of its socket in the process. 

You yelped in pain, you couldn’t help it, and he all but threw you onto the trail. Your eyes were still adjusting to the light but it took you a moment to realize that he had his gun trained on you. 

“Knew you’d take off on us,” he said, panting a little. You put your hands up and looked for a way out. “Knew you’d be more trouble than you’re worth…” 

You backed away from him, more on instinct than anything else, not able to watch where you were going and you shrieked as you tripped and fell back, landing hard and barely catching yourself before your head smacked into the rock of the path. You rose up on your hands quickly, scrambling back from him as best you could but he was standing, could see where he was going. You didn’t have a hope. 

“Please,” you whispered. “Please just… just let me go, you already have my supplies and…” 

“Can’t let you go with you knowing where we are,” he replied. “And you were already more trouble than you’re worth in my opinion…” 

“I stitched up your arm,” you said, tears stinging at your eyes. “I helped you…” 

“And those two idiots won’t even let me fuck you,” he cut you off. “What good is pussy you can’t fuck, hm?” 

“Please,” you said again. 

“That’s not an answer,” he prowled closer, the muzzle of his rifle so close you could almost touch it. Your heart was in your throat. “Think I’ll just kill you, bet that pretty head of yours would make all kinds of nice colors when I blow it off…” 

“Hey!” Tommy snapped, his gun up and pointed at Vince. “Know you’re not threatenin’ to kill her, not when we all agreed to keep her alive.” 

“You agreed,” Vince snapped. “You and your asshole brother, not me.” 

“That asshole has been keepin’ your sorry ass alive,” Joel growled from behind you. Your head whipped around to see him there, looming large over you. His gun was up, too, pointed at Vince. “You need us a whole hell of a lot more than we need you. You can do what I fuckin’ say or you can move on. But you keep pointing that gun at her and you ain’t gonna have much to move on with.” 

The three of them stood there for a moment, Vince aiming at you, Joel and Tommy aiming at him. Your heart felt like it was going to break your ribs it was beating so hard. 

Vince lowered his gun. Tommy did the same but Joel left his up. 

“Joel,” Vince said but Joel cut him off. 

“Don’t like men who don’t listen,” he said. “Not worth shit to me if you can’t take orders. Said you could join me and my brother if you did what you were told.” 

“I told you she’d run!” Vince snapped. 

“Don’t give a shit,” Joel said. “You think nurses pop up every five fuckin’ feet? She’s valuable. To us and to people we come across. Worth a little trouble. Worth a whole hell of a lot more trouble than you. Know your goddamn place.” 

He lowered his gun and looked down to you. 

“You alright, little girl?” 

You were too shaken to fight the nickname. Instead, you just nodded. 

“Good.” 

He slung his rifle on his back and reached down, yanking you sharply to your feet, the movement so rough it shocked you. Once you were on your feet, he grabbed you by your chin, his callused fingers harsh on your cheeks, and pulled your face close, so close that you’d expect him to kiss you if he were your lover. 

But he wasn’t that. He was your captor. 

“Thought I told you not to try anything stupid,” he asked, his face almost eerily calm but his tone on the edge of anger. “You seem smart enough to know better, give you an inch and you decide to take a mile. Several, in fact. Maybe Vince is right, maybe we should kill you…” 

“Joel,” Tommy said cautiously but Joel threw him a glare and he quieted. 

“You really think you can do better than us out there? Hm?” He demanded. “You think you can survive all on your lonesome?” 

“No,” you said, fighting to not cry. You hated that you reacted this way, that when you were scared or mad your first instinct was to cry. “But I could find…” 

“Find what?” He cut you off. “Find someone else who’s willin’ to stick their necks out for you? Willing to feed you, shelter you without takin’ more from you?” 

He released your chin and you slumped back from him, massaging your face and working your jaw, trying to right it. 

“You’re damn lucky to be with us, little girl,” he snapped. “Real damn lucky. Better start actin’ like it instead of running off like some scared little rabbit. Hands out.” 

“But…” 

“No,” he shook his head firmly. “You lost the privilege of using your fuckin’ hands without my permission. Hands. Out.” 

You obeyed, arms trembling, and he bound your wrists together, the ropes finding the same indentations they’d made on your skin before. He dropped your wrists once they were bound and you looked at him as you still fought to not cry. His eyes met yours, sharp and cold. 

“You’re mine now,” he said harshly. “Sooner you figure that out, the easier this gets for you. Move.” 

The walk back to the cabin felt long and, when you got there, you went to lay on the couch but Joel stopped you. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked, shrugging out of his coat. 

You frowned. 

“Going to sleep…”

“Not there you’re not,” he said. “You’re sleepin’ with me, you don’t get to be unsupervised anymore.” 

Your eyes went wide and you shook your head. 

“No, no, please, you said you weren’t…” 

“Wasn’t offerin’ to fuck you, girl,” he cut you off. “You’re sleeping where I can fucking see you so get in my bed.” 

Your whole body shook as he nudged you to one of the back rooms. You hadn’t been in one of these before. You had no idea how to try to escape if you needed to. It was stupid of you, you realized now, to trust Joel when he said they might be murderers but they weren’t rapists. Just because they hadn’t forced themselves on you yet didn’t mean they wouldn’t now. 

The room wasn’t huge, a queen sized bed in the middle and a sleeping bag on the floor. There was a door - to a closet, you assumed - and a dresser with some picture frames on top. 

“Shoes off,” Joel said. 

“Please,” you said softly. “Please don’t do this, I…” 

“Didn’t I say I wasn’t offering to fuck you?” He asked, sounding exasperated. “I don’t want you tracking dirt into the goddamn bed. Shoes off, get in on that side, one by the dresser. I’ll keep my hands to myself if you will.”

You obeyed and curled as tightly in on yourself as you could, facing away from him. You felt the bed dip as he climbed in, the heat of his body close to yours. But he didn’t touch you. 

“Actually sleep,” Joel muttered after a moment. 

You glanced over your shoulder at him. He was flat on his back, eyes closed, arms crossed over his chest. The opposite of someone who looked like they were about to grope you the second you passed out. 

Still, you rolled to face him, curled tightly on yourself, and watched him until his body loosened and his breaths evened. Tommy snored lightly from the sleeping bag on the floor. You weren’t sure if their unconscious state made it feel safe enough to rest or your body gave out from exhaustion but, the next thing you knew, it was morning and you were alone. 

You sat up slowly, hands still bound, an unfamiliar blanket draped over you that hadn’t been the night before. 

You made your way slowly, cautiously, to the main part of the small house. The men were talking in low voices around the kitchen table and you hovered for a moment, not sure if you wanted them to notice you or not. 

But Tommy was the first to see you there, a slow smile spreading over his face. 

“Well hey there little rabbit,” he took a sip from a mug. “You look rested.” 

“Probably wore herself out taking off,” Vince muttered. 

“Gonna be just you and me today,” Tommy said, ignoring Vince’s comments. “Those two are headin’ out to do some business.” 

“Business?” You asked, brows raised. “Is that code for murder?” 

“Our business is none of yours, little girl,” Joel said, drinking from a mug of his own. “You stay here, behave yourself, and maybe we’ll bring you something back.” 

“Rather not get anything that comes from killing,” you said. “Thanks though.” 

Joel just rolled his eyes and shoved back from the table. 

“You’ll take what I give you and you’ll like it,” he said, coming to stand in front of you. He put two fingers below your chin and tilted it, forcing you too look him in the eye. “Gonna take off on me again? Or do I need to tie your legs up, too?” 

You gritted your teeth. 

“No.”

“Good girl.” 

Tommy helped you use the bathroom and you sat on the couch with jerky and sore wrists and resentment as you watched Joel and Vince get ready to head out to do… whatever it was they were about to go and do. 

You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do to pass the time. You’d had some books in your bags but you weren’t about to risk pissing off the men for a little entertainment. 

But Tommy didn’t let you sit in silence for too long, flopping down next to you on the couch as you tried to find patterns in the peeling paint of he wall. You looked at him, cagey. He smiled. 

“You’re cute when you sleep.” 

You frowned. 

“What?” 

“You’re cute when you sleep,” he said again. “All curled up and shit, just like a little rabbit.” 

You shrank back from him and he put his hands up. 

“Not gonna touch you,” he said. “Unless you wanted me to.” 

“Well… I don’t.”

He shrugged. 

“Didn’t expect you would,” he said. 

He was quiet again for a few minutes before he spoke again, a gleam in his eye when he did. 

“Wouldn’t happen to play poker, would you?”

You didn’t but he seemed happy enough to teach you. But you couldn’t hold the cards well with your wrists bound and, after a few minutes of struggling, Tommy glanced toward the door like he was half expecting Joel to walk through it. 

“Gimme those,” he said, holding his hands out. You thrust your wrists at him faster than you were proud of and he laughed a little, taking hold of you gently. He paused before starting at the rope. “You’re not gonna take off on me, right, little rabbit?” 

“Not at the moment,” you said. 

“Good,” he replied, untying you. “Not a fan of keepin’ you all tied up anyway…” 

You turned your wrists, the bones popping as you luxuriated in the movement. 

“Thank you,” you said, massaging one wrist and then the other. 

He shrugged. 

“The game is Texas Hold ‘Em,” he said, dealing. “We’ll play a few hands open and then see how you do…” 

It was oddly easy to forget that you were being held captive when playing cards with Tommy. He was lighter than the other men, more like people you remembered from before, making easy going conversation about things that hadn’t mattered in more than a year. 

“I’m still mad that I didn’t get to see the second Matrix,” you said, watching as Tommy put the flop on the table. 

“That, darlin’, was a blessing,” he replied. “Wasn’t nearly as good as the first.” 

“I heard that, but still,” you said, looking at the seven of clubs, three of hearts and king of clubs on the table and trying not to smile at the seven of spades and king of hearts in your hand. “I think it might have been better than I heard. And maybe it would have made more sense when the third one came out…” 

“Maybe,” Tommy said, putting the turn on the table. Ace of diamonds, no good for you. “But I dunno, you seem too smart to like something that shitty.” 

“Bold assumption,” you smiled a little and he smiled back. 

“Before I put the river card out,” he said. “How about we make this interesting?” 

“Interesting,” you frowned. “Interesting how?” 

“I win, you tell me something about yourself,” he said. “You win, I’ll give you something you want. Can’t be a weapon but something else.” 

You looked at him, brows raised. 

“C’mon, little rabbit,” he gave you a cocky smirk. “Let’s have some fun.” 

You looked at your hand again. 

“Alright,” you smiled a little. “Let’s do it.” 

The river was the king of spades and you tried not to smile too wide. 

“Alright,” he said, looking like he was holding back a grin himself. “I’ll show you mine then you show me yours.” 

You shrugged and he smiled as he put the king of diamonds and the three of spades on the table. 

“Full house,” he said. “Kings over threes.” 

“Damn,” you sighed. “I just have the kings…” you lowered the card, looking disappointed and enjoyed Tommy’s excited expression for half a second before you put the second card on the table. “Oh, and the sevens. Sevens are higher than threes, right? I mean, I only went to nursing school, I can’t be sure…” 

“You little shit,” Tommy laughed. “You’ve got a damn fine poker face on you! Alright, what is it you want?” 

“My books,” you said immediately. “I had two, I think, in my pack. I’d like them. Please.” 

“I can get you the books,” he smiled. “You sit tight.” 

He brought you the books and you played another hand with the same stakes. And another. And another. And more after that.

You got some hair ties and clean socks out of the deal. Tommy got to know your favorite food and what you liked to watch on TV back when there was TV. 

After a while, he looked at the books that you’d set aside on the table. He picked up the top one, Slaughterhouse Five. 

“Think this was on my reading list in high school,” he said, looking over the back of it. “Never actually read it though.” 

“It’s good,” you said. “You missed out.” 

“Read it to me,” he said, holding it out to you. 

“Read it to you?” You asked, brows raised. “What are you, five?” 

“Never much enjoyed reading,” he shrugged, still holding the book out. “But I like listening. Like listening to you well enough. C’mon, little rabbit. Tell me a story.” 

You considered him for a moment. You felt oddly safe with Tommy. You weren’t sure if it was because he was showing you kindness and one of the only three people left in the world you knew now or if he was actually safe. You weren’t sure you could trust anything you were thinking and feeling. 

But reading to him didn’t sound bad. 

“Can we move to the couch?” You asked. 

He laughed. 

“Think we can manage it.” 

You settled on the couch, you folded into a corner and Tommy stretched out. He watched you closely as you opened the book. 

“All this happened, more or less…” 

You fell asleep on the couch before Joel and Vince made it back but you woke up in he bed, Tommy snoring next to you. 

Part 2

A/N: Hey yeah so... this was supposed to be a one shot but it got away from me. So now it's two parts. Part two up sometime within the next week or so ❤️

[thedgeoftheuniverse]

and i believe (because i can see) | post-outbreak!joel x f!reader

prologue — where we find ourselves

He told him how he thought that dog was going to rip her to shreds, and the only thing he could do was stand frozen in place because he’s not the man he used to be, no longer a ruthless killer who could have taken anyone and anything down in his path—he needed Tommy to understand that part. He needed Tommy to know that the only piece left of the man he once knew was the weak, aching flesh and bones sitting in front of him. He was no more capable of taking care of Ellie than he was of Sarah, but he was staring at him as though he were lying.

[ WARNINGS/TAGS ] loss of a child, angst, enemies to friends to lovers, grumpy!joel, angst, eventual smut (minors DNI!!), slow burn, canon-typical violence, cursing, joel miller desperately needs a good therapist and an even better hug, no use of y/n, no physical description of or named reader, shifting pov (see individual parts for warnings per chapter. please let me know if i miss anything. if any of these tags are triggering/upsetting/harmful to your wellbeing in any way, please do NOT interact.)

Winter came suddenly.

The summer had seemed to eternally endure, the heat from the sun leaving you drenched in sweat and with a constant sunburn across the bridge of your nose. The long days of trudging through woods and down back roads left your body hopelessly sapped of all energy and grotesquely deprived of proper hydration. A thin sheen of sweat seemed to permanently coat your body, leaving you feeling sticky and terribly uncomfortable; you had no intentions of concealing your discomfort, opting instead for—as your traveling companion charmingly described—incessant bitching. You've always found peace in the swaying of treetops and the warmth of the sun on your cheeks, but this was extreme, even by your standards. Nevertheless, the everlasting summer faded, as it always does, into an autumn that seemed to only last for a week or two, much to your disappointment.

Fall was stunning; a magnificent sea of yellows, oranges, and reds decorated canopies of trees, eventually falling and littering the ground and making a satisfying crunch underfoot. But then, as it always does, the fleeting autumn gave way to the bitterness of winter. A piece of you thought it came faster this year, as if the Earth was beginning to realize how far back it had fallen and desperately hoped that it could speed along the passage of time to correct some kind of miscalculation—a foolish notion. Nevertheless, you soaked up the fleeting weeks of fall with gratitude before you soured over winter. The harsh weather nestled into your bones, stiffening your joints and drying your skin—your knuckles remained almost permanently cracked and split during winter, regardless of gloves or warm evening fires. Perhaps there was a morbid beauty to the desolation of it all or a metaphor that would bring you some form of understanding for the misery you've endured. 

For the moment, though, you were just freezing.

The small campfire you huddled in front of did little to warm your freezing body; the cold, having seeped well into your skin, stiffened your joints and tinted your fingernails with a purple-ish hue.

“Need to find you a new jacket.” Joel’s voice breaking through the silent night momentarily startled you. You looked at your coat with a huff and recalled the events from that same morning—your once warm, tastefully worn coat now decorated with a large tear down your left arm. Had it not been for the thick material shielding you from the maw of that Clicker, you would likely have already turned or been shot by him.

“Not before you get some new boots, old man.” You lazily motioned towards his shoes, raising an eyebrow as he began his nightly task of taping rubber to leather.

“Funny.” He clearly was not amused. “I’m serious. You're gonna freeze to death.”

“Well, if you can find one out here,” you gestured to the expansive forest surrounding you, “then be my guest.” He rolled his eyes at you, though with less disdain than he used to; if anything, it was affectionate. “You could share some of that whiskey if you don't want me so cold.” He passed the tarnished silver flask to you with another roll of his eyes, and you took a swig of the smokey, bitter liquid. It was far from high quality; in fact, it was hardly drinkable, but it succeeded in filling your gut with a fuzzy warmth that spread through your body after another sip.

You noticed Joel staring at Ellie with a fearful glint in his eyes as she stood atop a rather large boulder, staring at green lights illuminating the sky. He was about to say something; you could only guess it was going to be an attempt to get her back on the ground. “Give her another minute. Who knows when she'll see it again?" He paused, looking as though he still wanted to say something. You could practically feel the anxiety radiating from his body. You knew he would deny it until the bitter end, but he worried for Ellie as if she were his own child; however reluctantly their relationship started, he’s wrapped around her little fingers, even if he hadn’t caught onto the fact. A part of you wished he had developed similar affections for you, but Joel seemed to have come to only tolerate you. Sure, he was not half as surly or aggressive towards you as when you first met—you were shocked he did not kill you on the spot, considering your previous affiliations—and he would engage in lighthearted conversation, but you sensed an underlying disdain.

The longer you traveled with him, the more it made your heart ache.

This was not part of the plan.

A high-pitched whistle broke your thoughts, followed by his gruff command: “Come on down from there. You’re gonna break your neck.” Reluctantly and with a hefty sigh, Ellie made her way from the rock after sparing a final, unobscured glance at the sky.

The rest of the evening passed in mostly amusing conversation. You chose not to participate, though you intently listened. You saw how Joel tensed up when Ellie asked what they—no, he—would do after the cure; it was a question that, until less than a year ago, was wholly absurd and could never be answered. His answer was not surprising. You never expected Joel to be the kind of man with ambitions of settling down with someone, living in a big city, or pursuing anything more than a life of solitude. The sheep, however, made you giggle to yourself, and he shot you an unserious glare in response. You also saw the way Ellie’s face lit up as she talked about space and “Sally Fuckin’ Ride” and the moon and stars, and the sadness (or was that guilt?) in Joel’s eyes when the conversation inevitably shifted to the loss of Henry and Sam, and how Ellie seemed to somehow feel responsible. It wasn’t long after that that she decided it was time for bed. 

“Do you wanna take first watch or second?” 

Joel sighed. “I’ll do both.” 

“No, you won’t. I’ll take second.” You piped up. Something in Joel’s eyes told you he would not be waking you up for the second watch, a debate you would have to settle at a later date.

“Get some sleep. Dream of..." he trailed off for a moment. “Sheep ranches on the moon.”

/ / /

Joel, in fact, did not wake you up for second watch. Not because Joel himself took both first and second, but because he fell asleep less than three hours into the night. He awoke from a fitful sleep with a start, distress seeping into his bones as he realized the sun had risen, he was asleep, and he did not know where Ellie or you were. He shot awake, his eyes glazed over with panic as he looked to you, still asleep on the ground, and then to Ellie, who was standing watch with the rifle that was much too big for her in her hands. An overwhelming feeling of guilt accompanied the anxiety in his gut—try as he might, he never seemed to stop failing. 

“Still mumbling in your sleep.” She observed. “I woke up early. You guys were passed out, so I took second watch.”

Joel’s words were rushed, betraying his normally stoic demeanor. “You gotta wake me up if that happens.” He slowly stood up, the unavoidable ache in his lower back and knees seemingly worse that morning, perhaps from walking the last hundred or so miles, or maybe it was the rock that dug into his back during the night. “You can’t do things like this.” He said, gently nudging his companion’s still sleeping body on the ground with his foot; his poor back would not be tolerating him leaning down to wake you with a gentle grazing of his fingers or nudge of your shoulder. He chose to ignore the fact that he always felt afraid to touch you—not because he thought you were fragile, but rather because you made him feel as though he was. Your skin made his hands feel like he was electrified, on fire, or frozen in place, and sometimes it was all three. Sometimes, he wished he had left you back in Boston, and sometimes he wished he had found you twenty years ago; on more rare occasions, he wished he had met you thirty years ago—when he was still whole and he was still alive, Joel Miller and Sarah were still alive, and he would’ve seen you as you were meant to be. Those thoughts never lasted for long, but they made his stomach turn nonetheless. 

"Uh, I can. I just did.” Joel had grown very familiar with the sarcastic smile she flashed at him.

“I’m responsible for you.” “She is too; don’t see her complaining.” His gaze flitted back down to you, barely awake and wholly confused by the situation at hand.

Joel took the rifle from Ellie, who was attempting to explain her precautions as she stood watch. “You wake me up next time.” “Yes, sir.” She responded.

That day started the same as each one for the last eight—was it closer to ten?—months had: a grueling trek across wooden terrain in what Joel hoped was the right direction, consistent sarcastic quips from Ellie, and your soothing presence at his side. It was a normal day, a normal fucking day, and he was mostly on course again, and everything was normal, normal, normal, and for the life of him, Joel could not fathom how he managed to find himself sitting in a bar drinking whiskey from a glass with his little brother. There were the horses and the dogs, and the all-consuming fear that Ellie was going to die and that you were going to die too; the knowledge that you would be after Ellie, and you would be lucky if the only thing these people did was kill you. Then he was hugging his brother for the first time in years, and everything felt fuzzy, and his stomach ached worse than his knees.

“Thanks for still giving a shit about me.” As if he ever stopped thinking about him. As if he hadn’t spent nearly a year in search of him. As if he were not the last thing of his old life that he had left, and he wouldn’t fight for that until the bitter end. And then he was asking about Tess (she’s good, she's fine), and it felt like a punch to the gut, and he was asking about Ellie (she’s the daughter of some Firefly muckety-muck). (There's a payment.) He could no longer breathe, and then he asked about you, and he was at a loss for words. What could he possibly say to justify you? Sure, your previous affiliations are what initially convinced him to bring you along, but he could have easily gotten what little information you had without trekking across the country with you. He could have left you at Bill and Frank’s or in Kansas City or in a random spot in the woods early in the morning; he did not have to take you with him. There was nothing in it for him; there was nothing to gain except another mouth to feed and the knowledge that you could have killed him in his sleep at any time you pleased. 

And then Joel was seeing red because, how dare he say that? 

How dare Tommy expect him to be happy when he was being handed the very thing that destroyed his life? He was there. He watched his niece scream and cry and bleed out as he pleaded for help; he was there after he tried to follow her into the unknown, and he was the one to clean the wound on his temple. He was there for it all, and then he left. How dare he sit back with his comfortable life, his house, and his family after Joel had lost everything? How could he sit there and judge him after he compromised every moral he thought he held near and dear to keep him alive? Sarah’s blood had not been washed from his hands before he committed what little was left of him to keeping his little brother safe. How dare Tommy find the life that Joel lost?

 He stormed out of the bar with that same goddamn feeling in his heart, and he thought he was going to die there for a moment—he had to have, at least for a second, because Sarah looked so real in that moment. The rest of that day passed in a blur. Joel found himself sitting in an old shed, the smell of wood and tools flooding his senses as he grew frustrated, fruitlessly trying to repair his tattered shoes.

 “The guys said I might find you here.” Somehow, seeing his face again, Joel could not bring himself to continue to stoke his anger towards his little brother, however fixed the scowl on his face was. “Figured you could use these.” An awkward silence filled the room from his lack of response, but what was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to tell Tommy, his brother, that he almost hated him for finding a better life without him in it? “I shouldn’t have said what I said... I don’t even believe it. I know you’re happy for me; it's just—it’s complicated for you. I’m sorry.”

 In that moment, Joel did what he had always done best and ignored it. “This ride to the university—is it a suicide mission?”

 “No. It’s dangerous, but it’s nothin’ you can’t handle. Just prepare and do what you do.” He said it as if he were not a shadow of what he used to be. As if he did not freeze when Ellie was in danger, and he didn’t fall asleep on watch, and his hands were still strong, his back didn’t ache, and he wasn’t holding back a torrent of tears.

 “You’ve had people go that way and come back?”

“All of ‘em.” He has said too much, “What is this?” And god, how was he supposed to hold this any longer? Where was he supposed to sit the last eight months down—or was it nine?—if not with him, that would not leave a path of destruction behind him. Tess, and Ellie, and the Fireflies, and Bill and Frank, and Henry and Sam, and Kansas City, and you? It was swallowing him whole, ripping him open from the inside; it was so heavy and he was so weak, more sorrow than man, and he could no longer bear the weight on his own.

 “She’s immune.”

 “What?” 

“Ellie. She got infected, but she didn’t get sick.” He looked like he was ready to chase the girl down and put a bullet between her eyes. “Tommy. Tommy, I saw her get bit myself. That was months ago. Months. She’s immune.”

 “From the beginning.” And he did. He told Tommy everything—about Tess; about Marlene and the Fireflies and how Tess made him swear to take her; about Kansas City and how Ellie saved his life; and Henry and Sam and how someone else had to save Ellie’s life because he could hardly hear out of his right ear and how desolate Henry’s eyes were after he shot his little brother (he overlooked how Ellie’s scream felt like a knife in his gut). He told him how he thought that dog was going to rip her to shreds, and the only thing he could do was stand frozen in place because he’s not the man he used to be, no longer a ruthless killer who could have taken anyone and anything down in his path—he needed Tommy to understand that part. He needed Tommy to know that the only piece left of the man he once knew was the weak, aching flesh and bones sitting in front of him. He was no more capable of taking care of Ellie than he was of Sarah, but he was staring at him as though he were lying.

“I was so afraid.” Joel could not hear himself speaking anymore. He knew the words were leaving his lips—he could see Tommy react to the syllables as the sound waves traveled through the air and to his ears, but he could not hear them. The ringing in his ears had never been so loud. “You think I can still handle things, but I’m not who I was.” A single crack in his voice. “I’m weak.” And god, he still looked at him like he wanted to argue against the points he so clearly laid out. “Lately, there are these moments when the fear comes up outta nowhere and my heart… feels like it's stopped…

“And I have dreams. Every night." 

“What kinda dreams?" 

“I don’t know. I can’t remember.” Another crack in his voice. Another reminder that he is incapable. “I just know that when I wake up, I’ve lost somethin’.” Tears began to fall down his cheeks. “I’m failin’ in my sleep. That’s all I do. It’s all I’ve ever done is fail them again and again and again.” Them?

“You want me to take her.”

“I’m just gonna get her killed. I know it. I have to leave her.”

“And what about her?” Joel’s heart truly stopped at the mention of you. “You still haven’t said a damn word about her or why she’s with you. Who is she?” He took in a shaky breath. He knew that Tommy would ask about you; he had sent a silent prayer that he would gloss over you. He could not bear to face the truth about you.

“What about her?” Denial was always his closest friend, but it seemed determined to betray him. 

“Joel.” He wanted to seem indifferent; he wanted to lie, but the truth came spilling out of his mouth the same way hot tears streamed down his weathered cheeks. It did not ask for permission—it took whatever it wanted from Joel. The truth wanted everything from him this time; it begged to be free from its shackles. What was he supposed to say about you? How could he justify this? How could he explain that you had completely bewitched him without him having ever known until it was too late? How could he tell Tommy everything without admitting a truth he had tried so desperately to ignore?

“C’mon. From the beginning.”

[a/n: buckle up we're gonna be breaking hearts here]

MASTERLIST // AO3

[mothandpidgeon]

The Outlaws (outlaw!Joel Miller x f!reader) Masterlist

pairing: Outlaw!Joel Miller x f!reader rating: E 18+ MDNI

summary: Wanted for murder with a bounty on your head, your only hope of escaping the Pinkerton detectives is an outlaw named Joel Miller and his sidekick Ellie. But Joel has other plans for you. series contents : old west au, train robberies, enemies to lovers, grumpy Joel, handcuffed together, forced proximity, smut, period/genre/canon typical violence, alcohol, morally grey characters, assuming Ellie’s gender, reader has backstory, only one bed, no use of y/n. [check chapter warnings…I’ll update here]

about the reader: Reader is able bodied, bisexual, and has hair. She is an outlaw in her own right– a criminal and killer and frankly slightly unhinged (affectionate). She hails from Missouri and has a tragic backstory but, as always, I try not to include physical descriptors. Her age isn’t explicitly mentioned but she is an adult woman.

Moth's Masterlist - follow @mothandpidgeon-updates an turn on notifications so stay updated with my fics!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

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Playlist

Moodboard by @ezrasbirdie

[joelswritingmistress]

Camp Crystal Lake: Chapter 2

Requested by @yellowjacketsbuzzbuzz

Joel Miller x f!reader (romance/horror)

Setting: Camp Crystal Lake

The reader is taking on the position of a camp counselor at the infamous Camp Crystal Lake. While she begins to enjoy her summer, even crushing on the camp director Joel, a killer lurks in the woods unbeknownst to anyone. 

I made my way back around to the front of the cabin to find a young man and woman of about my age on the porch. He was a muscular, shaggy-haired blond guy sporting a hat and she had a head of bouncy curls and wore a big smile as she looked at him. The two of them, arm-in-arm, noticed me right away.

“Hey!” The girl gave a friendly hello.

“Hi.” I smiled and waved back, retrieving my suitcase first before reaching for the gym bag.

“Jeff, go help her!”

“Oh, sure. Yeah.” The blond guy, Jeff, hurried down the set of steps.

“Oh, it’s fine,” I assured him, but he heaved the bag up over his shoulder before I could resist the help. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“I’m (Y/N),” I introduced myself, waving at the couple as I walked side-by-side with Jeff up onto the porch.

“Sandra,” the girl held out a hand and I shook it. “This is my boyfriend, Jeff.”

“Hi.” He nodded, still holding my bag. It looked light as a feather on his arm.

“Thanks for carrying that, you don’t have to,” I assured him.

“Come on.” Sandra waved me into the cabin, “There’s a pretty decent room upstairs,” she explained. “I can show you if you’d like.”

I nodded, “Sure. Yeah. That’d be great.”

Sandra patted Jeff on the butt of his jeans, making him turn and smirk at her. “Second floor, tough guy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he responded, rolling his eyes with a lopsided smirk.

I snickered to myself at their interaction but ultimately followed them up the staircase, taking in the collection of faces that lingered in the open living room area.

“This is (Y/N),” Sandra announced as the three of us clunked our way up the wooden stairs, “We’ll be right back.”

The cabin was more spacious than it looked. I passed the loft area at the top of the stairs and took a short, rustic hallway down past a pair of bedrooms. In one of them was a pair of bunkbeds. In another were two twin beds side by side.

“Those two have been claimed,” Sandra informed me.

“That’s fine,” I said, “I’m not super picky.”

She nodded toward a room at the far end of the hall, “That’s Joel’s room, the director.”

Jeff made a face, “Not trying to share a wall with the boss man.”

Sandra laughed, “We took this room.” She used her thumb to motion to a closed door, “But once the kids come we alternate bunking in the main cabins with them every other night.”

“We better get the same nights off,” Jeff remarked, making her smirk at him.

“What rooms are available?” I asked.

“These two,” Sandra said, motioning to the two doors closest to Joel’s, on the left and right. I pushed one door open, seeing another set of bunk beds and a twin on the opposite wall. The other had a set of twins.

“I don’t mind roommates,” I claimed. After spending four years at a university, it didn’t bother me. I enjoyed being around people. “I might take the bottom bunk over here.”

“Not the top?” Sandra asked with a laugh.

“I know, I’m weird.” I laughed with her, “I always preferred the bottom. It always had a little extra room.”

“That’s true.” She motioned, “Jeff, to the right.”

“Yes ma’am.” He slugged my bag into the room I chose and tossed the bag onto the bottom bunk. “There ya go.”

“Thank you,” I said, “For helping me bring my stuff up.”

Jeff flexed, “The beach is that way.” He pointed with his finger, making both Sandra and I laugh.

“He’s a meat-head,” she claimed, rolling her eyes.

“I’m good for something.”

“Thank you,” I repeated, “Really.”

“Want to come meet everyone?” Sandra asked, “I know more are coming but the people we’ve met so far are nice.”

“Yeah.” I nodded eagerly and then couldn’t help but add, “Joel seems.. cool.”

“Hot, right?” Sandra asked.

I glanced up at Jeff, who just laughed. And so I responded, “Sorta, yeah.” The two of us laughed and I could see Jeff was comfortable enough in the relationship to give a nonchalant eye roll.

“He’s like forty, calm down,” he joked.

“Jealous?” Sandra asked.

“Ehh..” Jeff shrugged and then scooped her up off her feet, making her giggle and give him a quick kiss. “Just a little.”

“Aww.” She continued to laugh and they linked hands as they made their way down the staircase a step ahead of me. I’m not going to lie, I liked them already. They didn’t seem like one of those annoying couples that fought all the time or who was too lovey dovey. My first impression of Jeff and Sandra was that we could end up getting along quite well. I already enjoyed their lighthearted goofiness.

I glanced at the front door as it swung open as we neared the bottom of the staircase. It was Joel.

“Hey boss,” Jeff greeted with another lopsided grin. He adjusted his hat and leaned an elbow on the banister.

“Can I propose a first informal meeting?” Joel asked, glancing around the room, finding my gaze last.

I nodded and followed to where people naturally gathered on the couches around an unlit fireplace topped with a television. There was a tall, lanky red-headed guy who was goofing around with a dark-haired guy with wavy hair and blue eyes. I heard one of them address another girl of about my age as Teri. She looked like a model with hair just below her ears and, what I would consider, a perfect physique. She held a little white dog under one arm.and sat beside a short, dark-haired girl on the couch.

“Hi, I’m Mark,” another guy wheeled over in a wheelchair wearing a red football style jersey.

I introduced myself and exchanged a handshake. “Nice to meet you.”

“Alright guys.” Joel’s voice snapped me back to reality and I found a seat in a chair beside Mark. “I know everyone is getting settled and some of you had long drives, so I’m not going to put you up to too much today. Tomorrow we’ll get a little more serious. There’s a lot of painting to be done, we definitely have to straighten up the dining hall and when Annie arrives she’ll take the lead on what she wants done in the kitchen.”

“Who’s Annie?” Jeff asked.

“She’s going to be our lead cook,” Joel informed us.

“Does she get here tonight or are we ordering pizzas?” The redhead asked, making everyone laugh.

“You guys didn’t pack peanut butter and jelly to make in your rooms?” Joel joked. He smiled wide just after, “For ttonight, since there’s only a handful of us here for a little while, I bought a bunch of hamburgers and hotdogs. I figured we could have a little barbecue, maybe get a fire going-”

“Tell ghost stories?” Mark asked, again making everyone laugh.

“Sure,” Joel said with a shrug.

“The legend of Jason,” Jeff added, “I think everyone knows that one.”

“Did you get stuff for s'mores?” Sandra asked Joel.

He raised his eyebrows, “Actually.. I did.”

The small crowd cheered and Joel laughed.

“Okay, okay,” he waved his hands to settle everyone down.

“Can, uh.. Since, like, the kids aren’t here yet,” Jeff began but Joel cut him off.

“You want to know if you can drink,” he assumed.

“We’re all over 21.” Jeff looked around, “Right?” Everyone began to nod.

“I’m the old goat at 25,” Mark joked.

“24, I’m right behind you,” the girl sitting next to Teri told him with a wink.

“When the campers arrive, there is a zero tolerance policy on alcohol,” Joel explained, “But..”

“But..” Jeff said with a grin, leaning forward.

“But, in the couple of weeks before they arrive, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your work and the progress we need to make, I don’t mind if you have a drink here or there at night.”

More cheers.

Cool, I thought. But I didn’t have any booze on me.

“I’m not gonna lie, we have two thirty packs in our trunk,” Jeff explained, making a face, “You know, just in case.”

“So, just to clarify,” the red head asked, “Is the rest of the day a freebie? Like barbecue, swimming, getting to know each other?”

Joel gave a slow nod. “But I’m going to have jobs posted for you that will start tomorrow at noon. And then every day thereafter starting at eight o'clock in the morning. Fair?”

“Fair,” the group said collectively.

“Alright,” he said, “Well, finish getting yourselves unpacked. And then enjoy yourselves a little tonight. I know you’re giving up your entire summer for this, so work hard for me but enjoy the last few weeks of freedom.”

“What time should we BBQ?” Jeff asked.

Joel shrugged. “What do you think? Five? Six?”

People looked at one another and began to nod, exchanging glances and agreed to meet out back near the lakeside in a few hours.

I wandered back up to Joel and smiled. “Thanks for letting us ease into this.”

“I know you guys probably had a long day,” he said, “And everyone should get to know each other before we really get into it.”

“I think my ride was the shortest,” I told him with a laugh. “I’m a townie.”

“So am I.”

“Really?”

Joel nodded. “I thought the town needed to be revived a little bit. I know this place has a bad reputation, but maybe we can make a difference and rewrite the script a bit.”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” I said to him with a nod.

“You majored in child psychology?” he asked.

I smiled wide and nodded, “Yeah.”

“So, you get it then.” He shrugged, “These kids need the outdoors these days more than ever.”

“Definitely.” I nodded. “I think it’s great what you’ve organized here for the kids.”

“I hope we can at least make a little bit of a difference.”

“We will.” I nodded to him. His smile back at me made me blush.

The two girls from the couch came to introduce themselves and Joel gave a little wave as he made his way to Sandra and Jeff.

“I’m Vickie,” said the shorter of the two.

“Teri,” said the other.

“I’m (Y/N/),” I said back, attempting to make small talk with my fellow co-workers.

I then met Ted, the redheaded guy, and Scott the dark-haired guy. It wasn’t long before we were helping Jeff cart the beer down toward the wooded beach area, where we met Joel who supplied most of the food.

“If only Annie were here,” Ted teased, once we were all gathered ready to eat, drink and be merry as the sun began to set.

“We need some firewood,” Mark claimed, staring at the empty pit inside the circle of bricks at the woods’ edge.

“Oh, I got it,” I said at the same time that Joel said he’d take care of it. We looked at one another and shared a little laugh. “We can carry twice as much between the two of us.”

Joel smirked and nodded. “Come on. Safety in numbers, right?”

I joined him on the short walk toward the cabin where he’d been chopping wood earlier.

Jeff shouted to us as we wandered up a short path away from the beach.“Beware of Jason!”

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@gissellec1 @cattt777 @mellymbee @armybts20137 @yellowjacketsbuzzbuzz

[ilikereadingthisiswhatilike]

Joel Miller 

A collection of Joel x reader stories. None of the stories are mine.

No Smut 

Brain Scramblies @strang3lov3 Summary: Bubbly and sweet Reader slips and falls at Tommy and Maria’s anniversary party, hitting her head hard on the floor. Tommy tasks Joel, her grumpy patrol partner, with getting her home safe. In her dazed state, she spills to Joel how she really feels about him! Basically two idiots dancing around their feelings for each other. Warnings: Alcohol Special Tags: Fluff

You Don't Belong @toxic-seduction Summary: You really like Joel, more than you’ve ever liked someone before. But the most important person in his life absolutely hates your guts and you have no idea what to do. Warnings: Angst, Fighting, Lanugage Special Tags: Fluff

Old Soul @softlyspector Summary:  You’re never quite sure of your place in Joel’s life. Everyone else seems to know exactly what it is. Warnings: Angst, Mental health, PTSD Special Tags: Fluff

Seams @fuckyeahdindjarin Summary: Joel has to visit the local seamstress. Warnings: Language, Sexual Tension Special Tags: Multichapter

Your My Sunshine! @littlelou22 Summary: You and Joel are polar opposites. you are sunshine while he is cloudy. but you’re his sunshine and he doesn’t quite know how to handle that. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Pretend @littlelou22 Summary: Joel ends things with you, leaving you in the dark as to why. Will the two of you get back together or stay apart? Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Lovers and Love. @peterparkersnose Summary: Y/N tries to hide that she is pregnant and Joel finds out. Warnings: Angst, Pregnancy Special Tags: Fluff

Your Gentle Comfort @mentallyunstablegoldfish Summary: Your interest in boys didn’t really exist in your life. It wasn’t until you met your new teacher and had a relationship growing with him that you realized, you wanted a man. Warnings: Emotional neglect, Kidnaping, Sexual Tenson Special Tags: Teacher AU, Multichapter

Smut

Hostage @ATTICRISSFINCH Summary: When you get lost in the woods, a stranger offers to help you get back to your camping site. When your gut tells you to run, you run–until he catches you. Warnings: Rape, Kidnaping, Angst, Weponds, Blood, Violnace, Degradation Special Tags: Serial Killer AU

Bail @Toxicanonymity Summary: Joel gets a call from Tommy in the middle of the night. When he gets home all he wants to do is spend time with the reader. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

Talk Me Down @hellishjoel Summary: You’re finally ready to sit down and discuss your obvious daddy issues. Your therapist, Joel, has his methods. Warnings: Mental Health Special Tags: Age Gap, Therapist Au

Carnal   @pascalsbby Summary: You thought you had it all figured out before him. Animals. Tender, primal flesh. That’s what we are at the end of the day, no? Fucking, testing one another and then eating each other alive, heart first. Maybe the heart is the sweetest part of the body- or maybe it’s just the easiest to get to. You knew you wanted to be completely devoured by him. You wanted to fill the space between his teeth. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Voyeurism, Stalking Special Tags: Dark, Age Gap

Choke On It @djarin-dreams Summary: They’re both members of the Jackson community, often put on patrols together. Reader has a penchant for destruction and rage, especially in the face of self-preservation. Sometimes, they just want to be able to let go. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Violence, Degradation Special Tags: Dark, BDSM

The Special One @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel like the taste of your blood. Warning: Blood, Kidnaping Special Tags: Vampire AU

Hot Single Dilfs In Your Area Want To Chat! @walkintotheriveranddisappear Summary: Hot single dilfs in your area want to chat, and you're more than willing to comply. Warning: Language, Voyeurism, Age Gap Special Tags: Multichapter, Dirty

Sleep Bliss @creedslove Summary: You and Joel used to share a sleeping bag when you were on the road. Once you got to Jackson, he made sure to put an end to this habit, but now his nightmares are back to haunt him again and he needs your help Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Masturbation

Burn For Me @psychedelic-ink Summary: Joel looks after you, provides for you, fucks you until the sun comes up; his only ask is that you never leave his apartment, not willing to face another loss. One day when you find the door unlocked, you decide to take stroll, promising yourself that you’ll be back before he returns home. Warnings:  Dubious Consent, Special Tags: Stockholm Syndrome

Pay Girl @the-comorbidity Summary: Sex was a commodity in the QZ, and Joel Miller would do (and pay) damn near anything to have you Warnings: Prostitution, Language Special Tags: None

Kept Woman @slow-motionlovepotion Summary:  Pleasure has a price and Joel is willing to pay whatever it takes to have you Warnings: Language Special Tags: Possessive, Multichapter

Winter Coat @dev1lm4n Summary:  You gave a blowjob to trade for a winter coat back in the dark days, little do you know, that same guy is now your neighbor. Warnings: Language, Prostitution Special Tags: Multichapter

Prostar @dev1lm4n Summary: There's one thing you've been obsessed with and it comes in the form of a man trapped inside your 13-inch laptop. who would've guessed that wicked fantasies would be a part of your host family and a teacher to all your risky endeavors? Warnings: Language, Special Tags: Multichapter, Pornstar AU, Age Gap, Dirty

Fatherless @weirdfangirl Summary: You offer yourself to a complete stranger in order to survive. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Possessive, BDSM

Virgin Patrol @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel just wants you. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Virgin Reader

Snack Brake @joelscruff Summary:  You’re just can't keep quite. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

My Boyfriends Dad @jksprincess10 Summary:  When you meet your boyfriend at his family house, you find out he’s at a party and cheating on you. Your boyfriend’s dad offers to take care of you and show you what a real man is like. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel, Dirty

Quicky @joelscruff Summary: Joel is your boyfriend’s dad and you’re fucking him in secret. that’s it. reader is of legal age. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

Jealous @eufezco Summary: You're a little jealous of Tess. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: None

Daddy Issues @alien-magnolia Summary: Reader has new Daddy Warnings: None Special Tags: Daddy Kink, Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

What you’re missing @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel use reader in her sleep. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Somnophlia, Dark

Making Diner @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel uses reader while she cooks. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

House Arrest @shadeysprings Summary: Your mom goes to attend a work conference for a couple of days, leaving you home alone with her husband. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Step-Incest

Pillow Princess @ninebluehearts Summary: Reader is a Pillow Princess Warnings: None Special Tags: Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

i wanna be your lover @shellshocklove  Paring: Joel Miller X Reader Summary: Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred? Warning: None Special Tag: Dirty, Porn Star AU

give in @cupofjoel Summary: Joel shows you how to love yourself the way you deserve. Warnings: None Special Tag: Soft

Red Light @kiwisbell Summary: The men you keep bringing home are no good for you. It's up to your landlord Joel to protect you from heartbreak.  Warnings: Murder Special Tag: Landlord AU

Truth or Dare @joelscruff Summary: harmless game of truth or dare ends with you tied up in a certain mysterious neighbor's garage. Warnings: Age gap Specials Tags: Bondage, Dirty

Crave @allfoolsinluv Summary: You've been babysitting for Joel and Tess for quite some time now. It's a good gig to have while you're working towards your degree. You like them a bit more than you probably should. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Muilty chapter.

Copycat Killer @beskarandblasters Summary: Joel is a famous singer and Copycat Killer is an obsessed fan. She’s willing to do anything and go anywhere to learn more about Joel. Warnings: Drinking, Drugs, Dub con, Specials Tags: Rock star Au, Stalker Au

Ft. Tess Servopoulos (No Smut)

Gone Soft @blathannabeaga Summary: They are soft only for you. Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

Misunderstanding @pettyprocrastination Summary: You misunderstood Tess and Joel relationship Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

My ex boyfriend’s parents @jksprincess10  Summary: After discovering Chad was cheating on you, Joel offered you to  show you what a real man felt like. Now, his wife was taking part of it as well. Warnings: Mentions of Cheating Special Tag: Poly

Smut

Strangle Love @ozarkthedog Summary:  Joel & Tess find you beaten and bloody on the streets in the q zone. they bring you to their place to nurse you back to health but when you try to leave they aren’t so quick to let you go. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Drug Use Special Tags: Poly, Dark

Mare Nostrum Mediterranean Grill @punkassfrance Summary: Your first job would have been stressful enough if you didn't have to deal with mind games from Joel and Tess. But god, you couldn't bring yourself to complain. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Poly, Voyeurism

Ft. Tommy Miller (Smut)

Sharing is Caring @inlovewithquestionablecharacters Summary: The brothers decide to share you. Warnings: Possible Incest, Dirty Special Tags: Poly,

Close Your Eyes, Pay the Price for Your Paradise @ozarkthedog Summary: Hitchhikingis especially dangerous during the outbreak. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Kidnaping Special Tags: Poly, Dark, Multichapter