Can You Stay?
Olivia Benson x fem!reader
Warnings: sexual assault/rape (not graphic or anything, this takes place after the fact), trauma, hospitals, rape kit, established relationship, hurt/comfort, some explicit language, brief mentions of self-harm
Word Count: 1.4k
Summary: You're assaulted by a man the SVU just can't seem to convict. Olivia is used to victims, she's used to the aftermath of a rape. She's not used to walking through it with someone she loves as much as you.
“Let me see her!” Olivia yelled, shoving Fin so hard he slammed into a wall.
“Liv, you can’t be here as a cop,” Elliot argued, holding her back.
Olivia ran her hands through her hair, angry beyond reason and worried out of her mind. “I’m not, Elliot! I’m here because my girlfriend got raped. Now get the fuck out of my way so I can take care of her!”
Elliot lifted his hands in surrender. “Alright, just… you gotta let us do our job, okay?”
Olivia shoved past him and into your apartment, desperate to find you, to see you, to hold you and protect you. When she found you, shaking and huddled in a corner of your bedroom, it shattered her, but she didn’t feel sad, not yet. That would come soon, she knew. What she felt now was blinding, white hot anger at the man who’d done this to you.
You were so traumatized you didn’t even seem to notice her. Your eyes were glazed over, and you rocked back and forth, your head banging lightly into the wall each time. Munch sat on a corner of your bed, and Olivia looked at him, silently asking if you’d said anything yet. John shook his head. So it had just been the 9-1-1 call so far then.
Olivia lowered herself onto the floor next to you, careful not to touch you, to frighten you. Your hair was dripping wet, and the water had blotched your t-shirt. Her stomach sank. It was him again–Cleary–she just knew it.
“Sweetheart,” she started, her voice soft, looking into your blurry eyes. “It’s just me.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to look at her, but your eyes filled with tears, and you started banging your head against the wall with more force.
Olivia placed her hand between your head and the wall to soften the blows. You wanted to hurt yourself. You wanted to hurt so much that you forgot what had come before. But you couldn’t bear to hurt Olivia. You put your head in your hands instead and when you finally spoke, your voice was small and hoarse.
“I can’t stop shaking.”
“It’s okay,” she soothed, still not touching you. She’d let you initiate touch if you wanted to. “That’s normal. You’re in shock, okay, baby? It’ll pass.”
“He came in my window, Liv,” you stuttered, unable to breathe deeply enough, your fingers tingling with the lack of oxygen. “He came in my window. I thought it was locked. It– it sh– should have– been l–locked.”
You scrunched your eyes shut and shrunk into Olivia, her arms wrapping firmly and protectively around you as you buried your face in her neck and gasped for breath. She rubbed your back, resting her chin on the top of your head.
“Shh,” she whispered. “Just breathe, baby, breathe.”
Elliot entered the room and sat on the bed with John. Olivia met his eyes, and she saw that he hated to do this. They were always aware of the ways in which an investigation might come off as insensitive to the victim. In fact, they did everything they could to be kind and empathetic and caring. But it had never been clearer than it was now that questions and probing, while necessary, would likely only make your horrific night worse.
You coughed, trying to desperately get enough air, the room swirling around you. You tried, you tried so hard to fight the darkening edges of your consciousness, but you couldn’t breathe. The last thing you remembered before blacking out was grabbing onto Olivia’s jacket.
“Shit,” Olivia muttered, as your body fell limp against her. “El–”
“On it,” he said, pulling out his radio and walking to the living room. “Yeah, we need a bus at Mott and Spring. Unconscious female. Rape victim, panic attack.”
Olivia laid you gently on the ground, brushing your hair out of your face and placing her fingers on your neck to ensure you had a pulse. It was hard to pass out from a panic attack–which showed just how scared you were. She sighed and watched you, holding back tears, as she brushed her thumbs back and forth across your wrist. She wanted to feel your heartbeat. Just to be safe.
“You okay?” John asked her.
Olivia shook her head, biting her lip. “No.” She smiled wryly, her eyes wet. “But I am dangerously close to committing a felony.”
“We’ll get him, Liv,” John assured her.
“We haven’t yet.”
“We will.”
When you jerked awake, gasping, your heart still racing, Olivia squeezed your hands and bent down close to you. “Hey,” she soothed. “Hey, you’re okay. It’s okay. I’m right here. Just keep breathing.”
She lifted your head onto her lap and you curled into yourself, your hand gripping tightly to hers. When the paramedics came, you shrank away from them and into Olivia, who might very well have assaulted an EMT to keep anyone from touching you and further traumatizing you.
“Can you walk?” she asked, and you nodded. “I got her,” she said forcefully to the paramedic who reached out for your arm.
Olivia walked you out of the room, out of your apartment, down the elevator, and into the back of the ambulance. She never once let you go, never once removed her arm from around your shoulder, glaring bullets at anyone who even came close to you.
Rape kits were always hard, no matter who the victim was, but it was excruciatingly hard now that it was you. Olivia almost couldn’t look at you as you talked the doctor at the ER through your assault. She wanted to cry, she wanted to shoot something, she wanted to hold you and never let you go. She would do anything, anything, to go back in time and have you stay at her place instead. Or, even better, to have been at yours so she could have shot the son of a bitch in self-defense. She didn’t know if she’d ever forgive herself for not being there.
You cried when they swabbed you, your body tensing in panic, hand squeezing Olivia’s so hard that little half moons formed on her skin under your nails. Olivia looked at the ceiling, willing herself not to cry. She felt like her heart was being fed through a shredder. It hurt more than anything, hurt so bad she was nearly bent over with it, to watch you cry. To watch your body flinch away from touch and comfort. To watch you poked and prodded and examined under the harsh fluorescent lights, the smell of alcohol sterilizer permeating everything, when you had already been through so much.
When they finally discharged you, Olivia pulled your softest, most oversized t-shirt and sweatpants out of her bag. She’d brought them from your apartment, knowing that they’d take your clothes for evidence. She dressed you gently, carefully, your eyes bloodshot, face streaked and puffy from tears.
She had Elliot drive you both to her apartment in a squad car, knowing you wouldn’t want to see anyone else, that you wouldn't be able to stomach a cab or the subway.
In the apartment, you sat on the edge of her bed, face blank, terrified to go to sleep. You couldn’t say anything, couldn’t speak. It was as if, after telling what had happened, your voice had switched off.
Olivia brushed your hair out of your face, bending down to look into your eyes.
“Do you think you can try to sleep, sweetheart?”
You nodded, exhaustion hitting you hard as the hours of adrenaline started to wear off. You crawled into bed, and Olivia pulled the covers over you. You struggled to keep your eyelids open, and Olivia gently kissed your forehead.
“Go to sleep, baby,” she whispered. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.”
You grabbed her hand as she stood to leave, turning off the light.
“Can you stay?” you whimpered, tears welling up again, no matter how hard you tried to fight them.
Olivia wordlessly lifted the covers and pulled your body into hers, and you breathed easy for the first time in hours. Her arms were strong around you, her heartbeat sure and steady, hands soft as they ran through your hair. And you knew, you knew, that she would keep you safe.
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Can't stop thinking about bully soap giving you one of those front camel toe wedgies, furthermore, he manages to make you piss yourself while he's as it, he's so mean 😔
GODDD
cw: bully!soap is his own warning, dubcon, wedgies, piss, choking, fem!gn!reader
he's a total dickhead - we all know that by now. you get more proof of it when he catches you changing, catching you in just your underwear and a shirt - how on earth could he keep his dirty hands off of you? you can barely gasp in shock before he already made his way over to you, grabbing you and pressing your back to his chest. one of his arms wrapped around your neck in a chokehold, the other hand immediately grabbing the front of your underwear, yanking it up harshly.
"fuuck, look at that! got no shame, do you?" He grins, wedging the fabric between your folds and against your poor clit. cleary seeing the outline of your pussy only spurs him on, making him pull harder, drawing whines from you. he's laughing, tightening his arm around your neck. you whimper, slapping his arm, trying to make him let go.
"j-john! please!" you cry out, desperate as the pain in your cunt gets worse. but he doesn't listen, of course he doesn't. he keeps tugging, harder and harder to draw more sweet cries from you - until he suddenly feels a wet warmth spread through the fabric, hearing drops hit the floor. he looks down and laughs, shaking his head as he gives one last, hard tug, finally letting go - but not without giving your soaked cunt a harsh spank.
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