Iconic Homoerotic Betrayal: Round 2
Round 2 Directory
Ides of March
Summary by Mean Girls (from an Anonymous Contributor)
Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar.
People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!
Summary by @purplelea
What if I was a jerk who decided to reject everyone because I was scared of getting attached and getting hurt, and what if I ended up in a death game where I had to learn how to put my trust in others in order to survive
What if I started to change, I started to trust others, to value their inner worlds, and then you came along as one of the people I had to learn to trust
What if you understood me better than anyone else, what if I recognised myself in you, and what if I HATED you for that, because you were everything I were, but that weren't not who I wanted to be anymore
What if you made it so hard to trust you because you were so grating and annoying and didn't deny when I accused you of killing me
What if you gave your life for me right after I learned that you weren't my murderer, what if I had spent an entire week blaming you for my death and what if you died for me before I could even apologise for that
What if I grieved you for a week while trying to fight for my life and fighting to keep trusting others despite all the hurt it kept bringing me
What if I fought my way to the end, victory and salvation so close, and what if suddenly I saw you again, giggling and telling me you were the one behind the whole thing since the very beginning
What if you told me that you were the one who killed me. That you were the one who created this death game. That you were the reason all of this ever happened. That I was nothing but a plaything in your grand scheme, that I've been your pawn since the very beginning, and all the fights I fought in order to come back to life were in fact helping you to achieve your goal of destroying my city and everyone I cared about
What if, still smiling, you gave me one last chance to save everything. A duel. A countdown. 10 seconds, one pull of the trigger, and you would be dead, my death would be avenged, my city and my friends saved
What if three weeks before that was exactly what had been asked of me, to kill someone else to save myself, and what if back then someone had to stop me from doing it
What if, pushed by how angry and hurt I was because of your betrayal, of your lies, of how you manipulated me and everyone around you, I found the strength to aim the gun at you, ready to shoot, crying but determined
But what if this time, because of everything I've been through, everything YOU put me through, I couldn't do it. Because you betrayed me, you hurt me, you did everything do I would want to pull that trigger, but everything you did also lead me to change, to start to trust others, and you're included in those others. You made me see that others' lives are worth the fight, are deep and meaningful, are something precious that shouldn't be discarded because I can't understand them
What if as you counted down to zero, I lowered my gun, and when your countdown met its end, you shot me once again, a bullet piercing my heart just like your betrayal did a few moments before.
What if after living all of this, I woke up in the middle of the city where I had been waking up at every start of every week of the death game you put me in, but this time alive and well, and I had to come to terms on how I felt towards you and the whole ordeal
What if I did come to terms, and put words on it. An entire monologue I gave to you, not even knowing if you were listening, but trusting that you would.
What if my name was Neku Sakuraba, and yours was Yoshiya Kiryu, but I could call you Joshua, seeing as I was your dear, dear Partner.
"I can't forgive you, but I trust you."
For other JoshNeku essays, see spreadsheet